#man-ai national high school

[madagway-hautaw]

Written by:

CABARING, ELLESA KATE CUBAYNON, CAREN LACORTE, EMELIE

Palawan is a world-renowned destination for its breath taking land and seascapes, offering unparalleled cultural, adventure, and nature experiences. The province of Palawan is known as the Philippines "last ecological frontier" from pristine Beaches and crystal-clear waters to lush forest and stunning limestone cliffs, Palawan is a nature lovers dream.

[guzhufuren]

A Guide to Some of the Best Queer Asian Shows

The guide includes a show’s basic summary; main genres/tropes/themes and official streaming links (additional info on how to watch at the end of this post)! You can find some content warnings in the reply section of this post. Shows are listed by countries, numbered by the order I recommend watching in, not by rating. All shows have happy endings unless specified otherwise. The list will hopefully be updated regularly (last updated on 04/04/2024, 98 queer shows in total).

Most shows are about mlm, I specify with coloured notes those that are focused on wlw, polyamory, aromantism/asexuality, etc.

Tumblr does not allow large texts or more than 30 images per post at the moment, so you can click on every country’s list to expand them and view them fully in a separate post. You can access this guide in a google doc here.

Thailand 🇹🇭 (full list here)

1. KinnPorsche mafia boss/bodyguard; action; kidnapper/kidnapee side couple

Kinn, a son of a prominent mafia head, is ambushed by an enemy, and meets Porsche, a bartender who comes to his rescue for a price, thus beginning their reluctant relationship as boss and bodyguard, which soon turns into something more.

iQIYI

2. Bed Friend friends with benefits; office setting; trauma

King and Uea work in the same office. After a company outing ends in a drunken hook-up between them, Uea and King agree to keep seeing each other on a strictly physical basis. With no strings attached, will these two be able to keep things between them simple and carefree or will their emotions eventually get the better of them?

Uncut 18+ on iQIYI or GagaOOLala or cut on YouTube

3. The Sign reincarnated lovers; fantasy; thai mythology; police

The story of the love between Phaya and Tharn who used to be mythological creatures Naga and Garuda in their past lives, and were forced apart. But fate intervened, and two men were reincarnated in new bodies. Now, they work together as partners in the Special Investigations Unit to uncover violent crimes and supernatural mysteries while their love is tested by mystical forces and past enemies.

YouTube

4. I Feel You Linger In The Air period drama; time travel; bittersweet

Jom, an architect overseeing the renovation of a rundown villa, continuously dreams of a man he's never met. When a twist of fate transports Jom to Chiang Mai in the 1920s, he assumes the role of a servant to the affluent young master Yai, the mysterious man from his dreams.

GagaOOLala or YouTube

5. You're My Sky sports; university setting; coming of age

Thorn, a young basketball player follows his senior Fah to university as a result of the promise they’d made — to become national basketball champions. However, to his dismay, he finds that Fah has already given up on basketball. --- Aai has to work in pairs throughout the semester with San, 1 year footballer; in order to receive a scholarship to study in Japan, Ai must be willing to do everything to get an A grade. --- Track running requires the compatibility of the team members to be very high. Vee, who became the new racquet 4, has to speed up training to fit in with the team as quickly as possible, especially with Dome, spending extra time together to train. Is love actually a major obstacle on the path of being an athlete?

Viki

> more tv shows from Thailand

GMMTV Thailand 🇹🇭 (full list here)

1. My School President high school setting; secret crush; school president/rebel musician

Gun is the head of his high school music club. Tinn is a school president and Gun's long-term rival. The Principal wants to disband some of the school’s “useless” after-school clubs, especially the music club. Per school rules, the student council president is the one who has the power to dissolve clubs. Gun is now at Tinn’s mercy, so he attempts to do whatever he can to persuade his rival not to cancel the music club. Little does he know, Tinn actually has a secret crush on him. Could romance brew as Gun makes a desperate attempt to secure the future of his band?

Viki (MSP) & YouTube (Our Skyy special 33-40) & YouTube (special)

2. Moonlight Chicken adult romance; age gap; deaf character

Jim is an ordinary guy running a chicken rice diner. One night, he meets Wen when he stays past closing drunk. Brought together by fate that night, intangible feelings arise. Neither can stop thinking about the other despite Jim's efforts to remain unattached. Jim also takes care of his nephew Li Ming, who is falling in love with Heart, a deaf teenager who is practically kept under house arrest by his affluent parents.

YouTube

3. Not Me revolution; freedom fighters; secret twins

When his twin Black is viciously attacked and subsequently left hospitalised in unconsciousness, White is unable to endure the harm done to his brother in silence. He learns Black was a part of a gang of anti-capitalist freedom fighters, and it was one of them who betrayed him. White disguises himself as Black to discover which one of them betrayed him and put him in a coma.

YouTube

4. 23.5 wlw; high school setting; secret admirer

Ongsa moves to a new school and meets Sun, a cute popular girl who she immediately falls for. However, she decides to approach Sun in instagram dms under the pseudonym Earth, leading Sun to believe she's talking to a guy. But Ongsa does not want to lose the opportunity to talk to Sun, so she decides to keep the fact that she is a girl a secret and continue talking as Earth.

YouTube

> more tv shows from GMMTV Thailand

Japan 🇯🇵 (full list here)

1. Cherry Magic!   mind reading; secret crush; office setting

By still being a vіrgin at 30, Adachi gains a magical power – the ability to read other people's minds by touching them. At first, he’s overwhelmed by his new ability, and it’s not proving to be helpful to him. But that all changes when he accidentally touches their office’s most perfect guy Kurosawa, who he learns has romantic feelings for him.

WeTV (Cherry Magic) & no international streaming of Cherry Magic The Movie is available to my knowledge, so watch on bilibili or KissKH

2. Kieta Hatsukoi (My Love Mix-Up!)   misunderstanding; high school setting

Aoki has a crush on Hashimoto, the girl in the seat next to him in class. But he despairs when he borrows her eraser and sees she's written the name of another boy — Ida — on it. To make matters more confusing, Ida sees Aoki holding that very eraser and thinks Aoki has a crush on him!

Viki

3. Our Dining Table food; child character

Salaryman Yutaka finds it difficult to share meals with other people. However, his life starts to change when one day, his cooking attracts the attention of a young boy named Tane and his older brother Minoru. The two brothers are impressed by Yutaka's cooking skill and invite him to their house to cook together. Yutaka's dreary life begins to change, and soon he finds himself looking forward to the meals he shares with the Ueda siblings together, as well as developing a taste for romantic feelings.

GagaOOLala

4. She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat wlw; neighbours; self-discovery; food

Nomoto loves to cook, but tends to make too much food and has no one to share it with. Luckily for her, turns out her neighbor Kasuga has a big enough appetite for the both of them.

No international streaming available, translated to english by Furritsubs, S1 & S2, watching instructions provided, please support translator on kofi.

5. Takara-kun to Amagi-kun high school setting; relationship exploration

Takara is a good-looking popular guy in class, while Amagi is a simple but bright and pure fellow classmate. The two begin to date in secret after Amagi's blurted out confession.

Viki or GagaOOLala

> more tv shows from Japan

China 🇨🇳 (full list here)

Most chinese shows are adapted from explicitly queer novels, the shows are undeniably and obviously queer, but nevertheless the queer romance part is censured. The only exception is number 4 on the list, it is not censored.

1. The Untamed period drama; fantasy

An epic fantasy led by a problem child who comes back from the dead 16 years later in order to fix the broken world he left behind — and finally unite with his soulmate.

YouTube

2. Word of Honor period drama; fantasy

The leader of assassin organisation Zhou Zishu quits his position in pursuit of freedom with drastic measures. In his travels, he meets Wen Kexing, the leader of Ghost Valley who wants nothing but revenge. The two become entangled in various machinations within the martial arts world, and eventually become soulmates instrumental in each other's redemption.

YouTube & Special Episode on Tumblr or DailyMotion

3. Couple of Mirrors wlw; period drama; socialite/assassin

You Yi is a kind-hearted socialite and a successful author. Her perfect life is turned upside-down when she discovers a betrayal by the two most trusted people in her life. With no one left to turn to, she finds refuge in the friendship and support of Yan Wei, a lonely female killer disguised as the owner of a photo studio.

YouTube. the show doesn’t have a happy ending, but it can be a happy ending for you if you stop watching at episode 12 timestamp 28:02.

4. Stay With Me enemies to lovers; high school setting; unconventional families; slow burn

Su Yu is a high school student who lives with his single poor father. Su Yu gets a new classmate Wu Bi. The two clash right from the start, and after getting off on the wrong foot, their explosive relationship takes a turn.

YouTube or GagaOOLala. the show doesn’t have a happy ending, but it can be a happy ending for you if you stop watching at episode 24 timestamp 05:00. OR watch the full thing and look at this post after

5. The Spirealm inside of a video game; mystery; fantasy; horror-ish; hopeful ending

A game designer Lin Qiushi is transported inside of a game he recently played, and now he must go through 12 horrifying survivor game doors to survive in the real world. Inside his first door he meets Ruan Nanzhu, a mysterious man who offers him to team up.

The show was taken down from streaming, download files here and subtitles here.

Various WLW mini web-dramas here.

Various WLW short films here.

South Korea 🇰🇷 (full list here)

1. Love for Love's Sake inside of a video game; high school setting; healing

At the age of 29 Tae Myungha finds himself transported into a fictional video game, and now 19 years old, he meets Cha Yeowoon, who is in the darkest moment of his life. And a translucent window appears where he receives a mission — to make Cha Yeowoon happy.

iQIYI (better subtitles) or GagaOOLala

2. Semantic Error enemies to lovers; university setting

A serious programmer and a rebellious artist clash over a school project. Their animosity keeps escalating to new extremes, defined by petty pranks and feisty arguments.

Viki

3. Love Tractor farm setting; farmer/city musician

Sunyeol, a city man with zero ability to survive in the countryside, comes to his grandfather's rural home. In front of him appears Yechan, a passionate and kind young farmer. While learning about rural life and assisting with farming tasks, Sunyeol gradually finds himself drawn to Yechan's warm and straightforward nature, while Yechan helplessly falls for Sunyeol.

iQIYI

4. Our Dating Sim high school friends to lovers; office setting

After 7 years, Lee Wan meets his first love, Shin Kitae, in a gaming company. When they were best friends in high school, Lee Wan was in love with Kitae. But he ran away and disappeared after confessing his feelings to Kitae after graduation. When the two of them begin working on a new dating simulation game and get more immersed in the project, old feelings are rekindled.

Viki or GagaOOLala

5. She Makes My Heart Flutter wlw; bar setting; niece and aunt dynamic

The extroverted Gang Seol is hired by her aunt Jung at her only-women bar. Even though they are both lesbians, they seem to be worlds apart and have very different love stories.

YouTube

> more tv shows from South Korea

Taiwan 🇹🇼 (full list here)

1. History3: Trapped mafia boss/policeman

The story of a police officer who becomes trapped in the underworld, as he develops feelings for a gang leader.

YouTube or Viki

2. Kiseki: Dear to Me mafia; age gap

Bai Zongyi, an exemplary high school student with dreams of becoming a doctor, is one day unexpectedly drawn into the world of a charismatic and mischievous gangster Fan Zerui, who blackmails him into taking him in and treating his wounds. Just as their love story begins to unfold, Fan Ze Rui's criminal life catches up with him. On the other hand, Chen Yi and Ai Di are two orphans who grew up in the gang together. Ai Di has always loved Chen Yi, but Chen Yi only notices their boss.

Viki or GagaOOLala or YouTube

3. My Tooth Your Love dentist/chef; trauma healing

Bai Lang is a successful bistro owner with an severe fear of visiting the dentist... until a toothache forces him to come face to face with the handsome yet cold dentist Jin Xunan.

Viki

4. Anti Reset android/human

When Chu Yi Ping, an emotionless man, dislocates his hand in an accident at school, his uncle gives him Ever 9 as a caretaker, an experimental intelligent robot that his company is secretly testing.

Viki or iQIYI or GagaOOLala

5. History2: Crossing the Line sports; high school setting

When an injury sidelines a high school senior from the volleyball team, he develops feelings for a recruit.

YouTube or Viki

> more tv shows from Taiwan

Philippines 🇵🇭

1. Sleep With Me wlw; radio; disabled character in a wheelchair

A science textbook writer with a sleep disorder meets a wheelchair-using radio host who runs the midnight shift. This chance encounter at the radio station quickly sparks their interest in each other.

GagaOOLala

---

You can watch many shows for free on YouTube, and watch others on the streaming websites by setting VPN to one of the countries in the list. In other cases I recommend paying for subscriptions to show appreciation and support of content in order to get more of it in the future, but if you can’t, watch on KissKH (better quality), Dramacool or get files from MkvDrama. Enjoy!  🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[idesofrevolution]

The Journey of Dr. Santana Fabrega

There's nothing quite like your bro slobberin' over your sweaty feet while tokin' on a hookah. Let me just tell you- everybody's happy. I'm stoked to be stoned and minty fresh, and he's happy to taste my ripe size 12's. Who isn't the happiest? The folks. Sure, I dropped out of college, sure I started focusing one hundred percent on my art, sure I have a parade of guys out of my little basement lair... but I never got why they had to be such fuckin' buzzkills.

Ever since they joined that church when I was at uni, my parents have been sucked into the Evangelical cult. Not the whole lifting your hands up to Jesus & speaking in tongues sort of church, by the way. Man, they're out there with picket signs at sex clinics, bannin' books at the high school, all that crazy fuckin' Christian Nation bullshit. They're my parents, so I love 'em and whatever. But fuck, those psychos really fucked 'em up. So now, their crusade is "curing" me of my gayness. Didn't really matter that I'm pan, they don't really know the difference. They don't really care about the difference, though. Not straight, not right.

So when they caught me the other day with Sam cleanin' my dick in the basement, it was World War 3. Man, a Nuclear Bomb would have less energy than my mom's hysterical shrieking. It's Florida, so it's nothing the neighbors haven't heard before. But, shit. I thought my eardrums were gonna pop. They stomped off upstairs, bein' all 'we are going to talk about this later, Santiago.' So, I let Sammy finish up, I pulled on some shorts and I went upstairs to face the fire while he snuck out the basement window. Fuck, I wished I were him.

The 'family meeting' went about as well as you'd expect. Threats of burning in hell for all eternity, demands that I find the Lord, etc. Apparently he doesn't like a lot of things about me: my weed, my tattoos, my sexuality, my piercings, my hair for some reason? I don't know man, I just tuned out after a while. What I did catch, though, they were sending me to substance abuse counseling. Couldn't help but laugh, and that sent dad through the fuckin' roof.

"Doctor Fabrega is going to teach you some manners, young man. Make you a Godly man, like you should be." Yada yada yada. He should have known better than to give me the doc's name. After the ass reaming, I made my way back downstairs to the computer. It took five minutes of research to find this Doctor Fabrega. Turns out he's a Christian Therapist, but that wasn't what was most interesting. Down in his specializations, buried beneath substance abuse & cognitive behavioral therapy was a word that caught my eye: licensed Hypnotherapist.

I knew exactly what kind of bullshit they were tryin' to pull on me. But when I was enrolled at U Miami, my major was Psychology. Not only that, but I still happened to have access to the university library. Oops.

I texted Sammy, knowing I was gonna be up all night doing research, and that my dick would need some appropriate attention under the desk. I was gonna show this motherfucker just how sick it really is to be like me.

---

The waiting room was bullshit. Cold white walls, bright wood floors... It looked straight out of an IKEA ad. I'd already been there for like 20 minutes past my appointment time, giving me just enough time to scroll through the last chapter on my phone. I hear the receptionist call out my name, and I head toward the office. Just as bullshit as the waiting room. It's like the guy wants to live in a psych ward- no color anywhere. At least get a blacklight or something.

"Santiago Rivera. Welcome, I'm Dr. Fabrega." The guy was hot as fuck, not gonna lie. Looked like he was straight out of Sao Paulo- even with the fancy suit you can't hide muscle like that. "Please, sit. It's so good to meet you." His voice was so weird. Speaking every word with like, perfect diction. You know those AI voices that talk that way? That's what it was like, as if he were trying so hard to hide an accent underneath.

"Just call me Santi, doc." I plopped down on the leather chair, might have put my feet up on his coffee table (don't recall), and he just looked at me like he was looking in a microscope. No idea what the deal was. He walked over to the couch and sat down with my file and started to drone on.

"Alright, Santi, it says here that your parents are pretty concerned about your behavior lately. You're 23 years old and a college dropout, you take illicit drugs, you have no job, and you're having unnatural thoughts. That's quite the list, bud." He was so fuckin smug, that sort of punchable glibness that only comes from a particular kind of self righteousness. Like Jesus himself came down and kissed them.

"So, first off. I did drop out of college, because I couldn't afford it. Second, I sure the fuck do smoke green because it's a) fun, and b) prescribed to me by my real doctor. Third, I do have a job. I do graphic design and graffiti art and I pay my own bills with it. And last off, yup: I fucked him." He sat there, somehow shocked that I told him how it was right off the bat. I'm not playing his little game, and that made him angry.

"I see. So you have no remorse for any of this? I believe your parents are very right to be concerned about where your life is headed."

"Fascinating, considering I'm moving out at the end of the month and they won't need to deal with my life. So. You married?" He was thrown off by that, just as I'd hoped. Right out of the blue. Knocks them off kilter for a second. An easy question to answer, so they usually do.

"Uh, well, no I'm not married. Is that your concern in all this?" Man, I couldn't help but laugh. He's trying to be sarcastic?

"Where did ya go to school for... whatever this is." This made him close my file, he even put it on the table and crossed his arms.

"I went to Liberty University, top of my class in their Doctor of Psychology program. You, it seems didn't make it that far, so you might not know what 'this' is." Oooh, he's big mad. I thought, let's push it. I did what most of my guys love, but would piss him off, I kicked off the Vans. Made sure I wore my skating shoes that day, the super ripe ones with the same damp socks. When they came off, those puppies let their presence be known.

"Sounds boring. Boring then, boring now. I got accepted into the Art Institute in Savannah, so I'll be headed that way soon. Be legit soon, then you wouldn't have anything to say. How's your sex life?" He thought he was so tough, not flinching at the musk, nor my question. But I knew both hit him right where I wanted. The question to make him mad, the stink to get him hot.

"Santiago, I think we should continue with our session. You can put your shoes back on and we can try some exercises to help you think a bit more clearly." I crossed my ankles, wriggling my toes a bit.

"I think they need some air. Are you gonna try and hypnotize me now? Or is that the last ditch effort when everything else fails?" He leaned back in his seat, the grimace growing stronger. "That stuff is not that hard to master. A couple days really and you got it down."

"Is that so?" He ground his teeth as he spat out his words. "It seems you know all there is to know, then." Time to hit it home.

"You know what, let's put money on it, doc. Hundred bucks says I can put you under." I got him, his eyebrow shifted just enough for me to see.

"This isn't a casino, Santiago. I don't bet money on client's health." I couldn't help but smirk. He left an opening I couldn't pass up.

"Aight, no money then. If I put you under, I get the bragging rights. If I don't, I'll play your stupid games. Win-win for you, nothing to lose but your dignity." Hook, line and sinker; he leaned in, grabbing the remote on the table next to him. He tapped a button, and the shades started to come down.

"Well then, Mr. Rivera. I wish you luck."

The room got dark. Really fuckin' dark. Fabrega hit another button on the remote, and a cool blue washed over the room. Gotta say, tight LED system. I kicked my shoes off the table, and scooted my chair forward. Showtime.

"Alright, Santana, I want you to just take deep breaths." He squirmed at my use of his first name, one last dig before I brain fucked him. He took his deep breaths one at a time, slowly getting deeper and deeper. "As I count down from one to ten, each number will bring you closer and closer to relaxation. Picture a long tunnel, at the end, a bright white light. With every number, you take a step forward to the light, do you understand?"

He nodded, it was an induction I'd made up this morning. I started from 10, telling him his first step he could feel the tingling relaxation in the tips of his fingers, slowly crawling up his hands and forearms. 9. Another step, the tingling creeps up his big muscly arms and shoulders. 8. One more step, the tingling is pushing up his neck and throat, reaching his tongue and teeth. 7. The tingling bursts into his head, a paradoxical rush of relaxation, a fog of dissonance washes over his brain as thoughts collide and crash about. 6. The tingling washes down his spine, flowing through his nerves into every part of his body. His body feels electric, a painless jolt running throughout him. I watched as he tensed up, his big muscles contracting and bunching him up. It was working.

We get to 5, starting at the crown of his head, the volts decrease, turning lugubrious and liquified like molasses sloshing about in his head. 4. The light is so close he can feel the heat, but his body is cooled as the syrupy fluid flows down over him like a waterfall, pooling in his big feet as it fills every crevice. 3. It feels as if he's trudging through mud toward the light, his legs feeling wobbly and gelatinous. 2. So close, his whole body feels like a massless blob, inching toward the final drop into the cavernous light. 1. He crawls toward the ledge, plummeting down into the endless void of bright white light. There, he will sit as I have a little bit of fun.

"Alright, Santana. Can you hear me in there?" Fabrega nods, expressionless. Fuck, that was maybe a 80/20 chance I was gonna fuck this shit up so bad. But I guess God really is on my side here. "Whenever I ask a question, you will answer truthfully. Whatever I say you will incorporate into your life. Now, Santana, what do you do when you're not at work?" His lips moved slowly and replied in monotone.

"I go to the gym, I go to the golf course, I hire my date, and I go home." Ooooh shit. He's giving my friends on the corners a decent living, good for him. Hardly a Godly thing to do. Either way, it was a perfect place to start.

"You love going to the gym, don't you, Santana?" He nodded. "You love gettin' all sweaty don't you?" His head began to shake, his expression furrowing a bit in disgust. "No, Santana. You love getting all sweaty. The feeling of those cool droplets on your hot muscles during a hard workout? Doesn't it feel good?" He pauses, before reluctantly nodding. Ahh I love gettin my fingers in his brain, never ceases to please. "You love that funk that comes off your sweat, Santana. You love sniffin your pits, your big feet, your balls... That musk means you're workin' hard. Keeping in shape. Staying virile. Isn't that right?" He nodded, squirming in the chair. I watched his body try to reject the instructions, try to rebel, but just one repetition had his back to stillness.

"You don't even like golf, do you?" He nodded, I didn't even need to manipulate him. "You much prefer hitting the beach, don't you? Seein' all the guys and gals starin' at your glorious bod... You love it, don't you?" He nodded, the side of his lip curling ever so slightly. "You love bringing out the speedo, letting the goods hang low, letting the buns bulge... you know they all wanna see it anyway..." He nodded again, it was like taking candy from a baby. The guy had the mental fortitude of a frog.

"You like fucking, too. You can have any girl or guy on the street with a single wink." He nodded, and I couldn't help but watch as his groin started to bulge. "Yeah, boy. You love taking that horse cock and plowing it into some ass... plowing it into some pussy... fucking their pretty little mouths..." Drool started to drip from the corner of his lip, and a little wet spot quickly appeared on his pants. "You're a freak, aren't you, Santana? You like fuckin' in the car, in the sauna, at the gym, under the desk... gushing gallons into them while you shove your sneaker on their face." He was moaning, slowly grinding against the open air. Can't lie, I was gropin' myself a bit just watching him.

"Now, Santana. I'm going to bring you back to your office, but when I do, you are going to be super laid back and chill with Santi during your sessions. If he says the word 'sniff' you will return to this space, return to an open mind, just as we have done here today. Do you understand?" He nodded one final time before I began his emergence. Counting back from one to ten, I watched as he slowly came back to the real world, and with one snap, he blinked his eyes and wiped his brow.

"Well, doc. I got the bragging rights." Fabrega pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he had a headache. Time to see if it had all paid off.

"Uhh... yeah... Santi. You got me there..." Perfect. He pulled his hand away from his nose, clicking the shades back up to their little hole. It didn't take long until he saw the wet patch on his bulbous package. He chuckled under his breath. "You'll have to excuse the mess, Santi... I have hyperspermia, so sometimes it all just flows out." Hot- and totally unprofessional. Just how I like 'em. I leaned back in my chair, smirkin' the whole way.

"Damn, doc. Firehose down there. Gonna have to show me sometime." He smirked and waved me off.

"I don't fraternize with clients, Santi. Oh, look at the time. I'm late for my 5:30. Alright, I'll see you next week." He stood up, extending his hand, his whole demeanor entirely changed. I slipped my Vans back on, spitting on my hand before gripping his. He shuddered a bit, sure. But we were gonna get real close, real quick.

---

The next few days flew by. My folks were so excited to see that I was looking forward to seeing Dr. Fabrega, and I loved knowing what they didn't. I was excited to see if Dr. Fabrega was gonna be Santana. So when I finally got back in for my appointment, I didn't need to wait long at all. Only five minutes and the door swung open, the receptionist completely flustered. The anticipation was killing me. She sat down behind her computer with tunnel vision and I walked into the office.

At first, I thought it was empty. He wasn't sitting at his desk, on the couch... but as I heard huffing from the balcony, I knew where to find him. I walked up to the sliding glass door, and turned outside to see one hell of a sight.

It was Santana. Nothing on but his whitie-tighties and his damp socks doing pushups on the bench. Fuck, those muscles were glistening in the light, his underwear with damp patches on his ass and bulge. His clothes sat in a pile near his head: jeans, a Miami Heat jersey, some sick dunks I wanted to steal... far from the stuffy suit he had on just the week before. He finally noticed me, and smiled.

"Santi! Hey! Just finishing up my lunch workout. Thought I'd get a session in today on the balcony. Damn, the fresh air is good for exercise!" I smirked. It was night and day. So far, gone was the bible thumping hypocrite, and here was what was underneath. If anything I was doing him a service.

"Shit, Santana! You're looking prime today. You gonna funk out our session today, or?" I punched him in the shoulder, and he giggled like a kid.

"It's eau naturale, my friend. Natural water. That's what it smells like." He slipped on his jeans and his big fuckin' sneakers, tossing the jersey over his head while we walked in. He trailed some deliciously ripe musk, and I couldn't help but savor a bit of it. We plopped down on our seats, and just started shootin' shit. I bitched about the parents, he bitched about his receptionist, I told him about Sammy suckin' my dick clean, and he told me about the threesome with a gym bro and his girlfriend. He was coming along beautifully. Though, I thought to myself, how's about a round two?

"Dude, by the way, those kicks are fuckin' tight." I pointed to the dunks, which he smugly kicked up onto the coffee table, showing them off.

"Thanks, man. They're the lifting shoes. My work boots, heh." I reached out, grabbing ahold of his foot, and yanked it off. He chuckled like a fuckin' idiot while I looked at 'em. Size 13, nice and big- and the smell wafting out of there... Fuck, man.

"Damn, dude you never wash your socks? These stink!" I playfully tossed the shoe at him, and just as he started to brush off the comment, I said my magic word. "Sniff it." Like a flipped lightswitch, his expression turned numb, slowly bringing the shoe to his nose and inhaling his own musk. I clapped my hands, rubbing them together: let's do a little more programming.

"Santana, You're a pretty chill guy, you know that?" He nodded. "You smoke, don't you? You know, the good shit?" Deep in his mind, he had to know it was me talking at this point, so I was talking to him like a bro. Establishes trust, ya know? He shook his head no. "Ahh, come on man. You love kickin' back and toking on that reefer after a long workout." Santana chuckled a bit, before nodding, still nose deep in his sneaker. "Yeah, you love smokin' out your bros, your babes... when you're not shootin' tequila!" He full out laughed on that one, nodding along. The sneaker slowly dropped from his hand, and he laid back in his chair.

"How old are you, Santana?"

"28." Shit, he was only a few years older than me. I mean, he looked young. But hell, you wouldn't have known it from the way he acted.

"Where are you from?" "Rio de Janeiro." Interesting. I clocked the accent. I was pretty proud of myself.

"Why do you try so hard to hide it? The way you talk, the way you dress, the way you act... You act like you're from Ohio." Another chuckle, I should have had a Netflix special. "You're gonna embrace that Brazilian pride, bro. Don't hide it for some mayo drinking buzzkills!" He furrowed his brow, nodding intently. This one was for his own fuckin' good. Be proud of that shit! "You should get some ink to really embrace it. Nothin' sexier than a tatted up stud, am I right?" He nodded again, his bulge once more springing to life. I smirked, simply wanting to know a little something somethin'.

"Do you think Santi is hot?" He sat there for a second, before slowly smiling and nodding. I didn't even need to program that one. Aww, big old himbo. "You're not afraid to let him know, are ya? I mean if you tell his crazy fuckin' parents that he's cured... He wouldn't be your patient anymore... Right?" His bulge twitched again, and he smirked devilishly as he nodded. "You like it when he's all up in your brain, don't you? You like it when he gets his dick deep in there and mind fucks you into a chill, laid back stud. Don't ya?" The dampness grew and his breath got heavy. He nodded, drooling down the sides of his cheeks. "Yeah, you wanna let him in completely, don't ya? Make you like him?" Moans grew, and his thrusting in the air quickened pace. "You wanna be best bros with him, don't ya? Bros with benefits... hangin' out, smokin' weed, hittin' the clubs, swappin' spit... swappin' cum... swappin' subs..." He started fuckin' howl. He was beggin' to splurge. "When I tell you, you will cum. And when you do, everything we talked about will be your truth. Now... Cum."

His eyes opened, still moaning loudly. He gripped onto his jeans, pulling down the waistband and underwear, that big old uncut donkey dick flopping out before shooting his load all over himself. Volley after volley. He wasn't kidding about the hyperspermia: maybe four double shots of his spunk sprayed like a geyser into the air. The 8th Natural Wonder of the World. He laid back and chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head.

"Fuck, brother!" The thickest accent flowed of those lips, deliciously thick. "After today, that'll be down your throat, cara." He pointed at me, hopping to his feet and shoving his python back into his pants. "So, I'll write your discharge papers, it'll get the pais off your back. Act the part until you're out, and just go live." Fuck yeah, we high fived, and I ruffled that sweaty mullet of his. "Hey, come over tonight. I got some friends comin' over... if you and Sammy wanna join." He winked and slapped my back. Damn, I did good.

"I'll be there, man! You save me a round so I can show you how to clean this dick." I groped my bulge, smirking as his bit his lip and winked. I've created a monster.

---

"Ei, sexy! Come get a toke before it's gone!" Such a demanding little bitch, I love him. I slipped his filled condom off my cock, the kinky fucker insisted, and I happily complied. If I'm being real, this psycho has taught me things! I flushed it down the toilet, and swung the bathroom door open to see him lounging on his bed, toking away at the blunt I packed.

"Hey you fuckin' hog, don't you smoke it all!" He chuckled dumbly, reaching over to hand me the blunt, taking the opportunity to snatch my wrist and pull me forward into a kiss. Fuck those lips were so good, pressed against mine or around my cock. "Isn't Carrie coming over soon? You gonna be able to get off so quick?" I pushed away, taking my puff.

"Ahh, plenty to go around, eh?" He groped that musky bulge that I had a feeling Sammy would be huffing later. "Ey, bring me my pants. We can go get a shot before she gets here." Heh, the last month or so crashing with him has been fuckin' sick. The folks think I'm rooming with some guy from the church, when really I'm gooning with my therapist every night in his bed. Savannah is letting me take online courses, I'll have my B.A. in a couple of years, and I'm already getting some gallery hits. Santana is gonna be my armcandy for the opening, and I told him to forget his deodorant. Fuck he’s perfect. But a thought had crept in my head the other day. One last program, one final idea planted in his head... Though, at this point, there was no need to put him under. I'd just ask him.

"Hey, so I gotta go to Georgia to finish up some paperwork at the school. It got me thinking... I'm followin' my dream. What about you?" I tossed him his pants and passed the blunt, taking a deep whiff of those ripe dunks before throwing them his way too.

"I could go back to the practice, though I think the bible thumpers would lose their minds, heh."

"Well... What we did for eachother... What if you did it for others?" I slowly got down to my knees, a smirk crawling across my face. "What if you could help those poor... misguided young men change their lives?" I crawled toward him, spreading his legs wide as I tossed his legs over my shoulders. "Wouldn't that be so... so... fun?" I slowly pulled down his musky briefs, releasing his monstrous cock again, the musky hooded beast slapping me on my cheek. "Then, we could have so... many... new.. friends..." I pulled down his slimy hood and wrapped my lips around his tip. I should have known better. His hand grabbed the back of my head, slamming it down onto his spear, my nose buried in his bush as he thrust back and forth into my mouth.

"Unff... Yeah, brother... Oh yeah... That sounds like a good... unhhhhh... good idea." Grunting, slapping, moaning, slurping... it all rang out in his room, until he gushed another thick load down my throat. "You wanna join me?" And in that moment, I smiled. It was the best idea he'd had yet.

[slamdunk-headcanons]

Fights, haircut and basketball - Imagine Mitsui Hisashi

Hello guys! So I decided to bring my SD imagines to this blog. They were originally written in Portuguese, and I used AI to do the most part of translation and revised it after to do some corrections and adaptations. So this is the very first one I wrote for SD, in 2016, for my favorite character, Mitsui Hisashi. My writing style is in third person, not second person. I hope you all like it!

Posted on Spirit Fanfictions, Wattpad and Nyah!Fanfiction (all Portuguese version) Word count: 3.6k Warnings: fem!reader, mention of gang fights, a bit of cursing, angst Cover by @ezrealsicons

Synopsis: Mitsui and [Name] were unseparable friends. But when their feelings became something more than just friendship, everthing caved in. With the Mitsui's injurey and his subsequent withdrawal from basketball, his personality began to be dominated by resentment and anger. The boy started to despise everything related to the sport, including [Name]. However, two years later, a fight and and old dream would finally make him remember how important she was for him.

“You did what!?"

[Name] looked at Mitsui with wide, horrified eyes. The boy had shown up at her mother's beauty salon that late afternoon without warning, his face covered in bruises and dried blood. The girl had quickly pulled him to the back of the establishment so he wouldn't draw attention in case a client arrive. The last thing she wanted was for Mitsui's problems to spill over into her mother's business. Now they were talking in the break room, which was fortunately empty.

The boy still had the same intimidating appearance that [Name] had seen the last time they met. The face that had once been marked by the features of adolescence was now almost entirely covered by his blackish-blue hair that cascaded down to his shoulders. His navy-blue eyes, once so bright and full of energy, were now dark and heavy. And to top it off, [Name] couldn’t even remember the last time she had seen Mitsui smile.

Faced with his friend's accusatory question, the senior kept his head down and his hands buried in his pockets. The shame he had felt earlier, in front of the man who had given him the determination to win the regional championship, now seemed to weigh ten tons on his broad shoulders. He could endure the accusing looks from everyone, even from Kogure and Akagi, but from [Name]...

"Hey! Answer me, Hisashi!"

He hunched his shoulders even more. It was hard enough to confess what he had done, let alone repeat it. Besides, didn’t [Name] already have enough reasons to despise him?

"I decided to get revenge on Miyagi... I wanted to do it by disqualifying Shohoku from the Nationals through a fight. If the rumor that the players were involved in a gang fight at their own school spread, they would surely be banned from the championship. So I gathered the judo team members and asked for help from a friend of mine, Tetsu-"

Mitsui didn’t get a chance to finish. A sharp, resounding slap stung his already bruised face, causing him to stagger back two steps. His hands instinctively covered the spot where he had been hit, and his navy-blue eyes rose in shock to meet the girl in front of him.

"Are you serious!?" she shouted angrily. "Didn’t I tell you to never speak to me again? And you, not only you disrespect that, but you also come and tell me something like this!?"

The high schooler lowered his gaze again and returned to his previous dejected posture.

[Name] had been his friend for years, and they had met because of basketball. She always played on the neighborhood’s public court, and it was there that he saw her for the first time. He clearly remembered being captivated by how she smiled while playing, and that made him interested in the game. He really wanted to experience the joy that made that girl seem so happy.

Mitsui then asked [Name] to introduce him to basketball. Reluctantly at first, the girl agreed to be his tutor. She taught him everything she could, from basic movements to the tricks of faking and three-point shots, which were her pride and joy. It was on that quaint basketball court that their friendship flourished.

Over the years, Mitsui and [Name] became inseparable, and their friendship began to take on new dimensions. However, neither of them had the courage to make a move, as neither was sure of their own feelings.

And that’s when everything caved in.

After Mitsui’s accident and his subsequent withdrawal from basketball, his personality started to be consumed by resentment and anger. The boy began to despise everything related to the sport, including [Name].

One day, the girl invited him to watch a street basketball game that was going to take place on the same court where they had first met. With disdain, he laughed in [Name]’s face and said he had better things to do.

"I'm not going to waste any more time with stupid things like basketball," he said with a mocking smile.

The girl looked at him in horror, unable to believe that those words had come out of Mitsui's mouth.

“What!?” she shouted, shocked.

“That’s exactly what you heard,” he spat. “I’m not wasting another second on basketball.”

And without giving [Name] a chance to ask any more questions, he spun on his heels and walked away.

After this episode, the high schooler began getting more involved with gangs and street fights, and the chasm that had formed between him and [Name] grew ever wider. Finally, one incident in particular completely ruined their friendship.

Angry after the beating they took from Mitsui’s gang, some troublemakers from Kainan High investigated Mitsui’s connections and discovered [Name]. After obtaining her address, they observed her routine for a few days. After a week, they ambushed her as she was heading home in the late afternoon. Meanwhile, one of them was tasked with delivering the message to Mitsui.

As soon as he found out, the boy was overcomed with an intense feeling of guilt and rage. He never imagined he would end up involving his friend in his fights, let alone as a hostage. Blinded by anger, he ran without hesitation to the agreed location, making a decision along the way: he would distance himself from gangs once and for all so that she would never be at risk because of him again.

When he finally reached them, he realized the true extent of the trap he had fallen into. [Name] was at the back of the alley, held by two burly high schoolers with contemptuous expressions. As soon as they spotted Mitsui, the other gang members blocked both exits of the alley, giving the boy no chance to escape.

“I knew he would come,” their leader sneered. “Let the girl go. We’ve got what we wanted.”

A momentary sense of relief washed over the student, and he searched for [Name] with his eyes. The girl was rubbing her forearms, marked by the strong grip of the thugs, and as soon as she processed that she was free, she looked for Mitsui among the figures present. When her eyes locked on his face, distorted by a mask of conflicting emotions, she marched toward him with determined steps, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

How? How had it come to this? How had he let something like this happen? And to her, of all people!?

Everyone turned to look at the slender back of the girl, who was walking forward with clenched fists. As soon as her childhood friend's face was within reach, she raised her right fist and delivered a solid punch to his left cheek.

"Bastard!" she shouted, tears streaming down her cheeks. "How did you get to this point? When did you stoop so low as to drag me into these stupid fights!?"

Mitsui kept his face turned away, his dark blue eyes vacant and empty from the shock.

"Never again..." she said through gritted teeth. "Never speak to me again."

Those words from [Name] hurt more than any punch or kick he'd ever taken in a fight. They hurt more than his knee injury. They hurt more than giving up basketball.

Even when he had given up on everything, she hadn’t. She believed that one day, the bitterness from what had happened in his first year would fade, and Mitsui's passion for basketball would resurface. And even as he sank deeper and deeper, she tried to support him, tending to his wounds so that he wouldn’t have to hear so much from his parents.

And he had simply dismissed all of it.

That day, the beating he took after being insulted and humiliated by the Kainan thugs didn’t compare to the pain of losing [Name] completely. He had deluded himself into thinking she would stand by him despite the stupid mistakes he’d been making. What else would he lose?

Since then, [Name] had never spoken to him again, and Mitsui had no choice but to respect her decision. In her absence, he continued to get involved in more and more trouble and fights, and the little hope hidden in his heart of returning to basketball disappeared completely.

However, the incident in Shohoku’s gym that day awakened old memories of basketball for Mitsui. The feeling of sinking the ball with a simple flick of the wrist, the euphoria filling his chest as he drove past opponents toward the basket... Remembering all of this, Hisashi Mitsui finally realized just how much he missed basketball and, most of all, how much he missed the person who had brought that wonderful sport into his life.

God! How he wanted to play basketball again! How he wanted to play with [Name] and see her smile in that unique and captivating way...

It was because of all this that he swallowed his pride and ran to see the girl he had dismissed out of pure arrogance and selfishness. He had to make things right. He would never forgive himself if he didn’t try.

Mitsui lifted his melancholic dark eyes to [Name] and took a deep breath.

"I know what I did was unforgivable. I really was a selfish idiot, only thinking about my whim of becoming Shohoku’s ace... and it ruined everything." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and then reopened them, this time with a determined look. "But I need to tell you something."

The girl straightened where she stood and crossed her arms. Her eyes shifted to the floor, filled with pain and anger. She wanted so badly to believe Mitsui’s words. She wanted so badly for him to have truly recognized his mistakes and turned things around... But what he had done wasn't that simple.

With a furrowed brow, she bit her lip and lowered her head.

"I'm going back to playing basketball," Mitsui blurted out, as if the words were forcing their way out of his mouth. "I don’t want to keep pretending that I don’t want to."

[Name]'s eyes widened, and she immediately locked them onto her friend’s face.

"I know it might be a little late since I’m in my third year. But I still want to make the most of the time I have left in high school. I’m going to...

The sentence weighed heavily on his tongue, and he had to press his lips together to prevent the words from spilling out awkwardly. He wanted to show [Name] that this was once again his dream.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, then opened them to look at his friend with a crease of determination on his forehead.

"I'm going to help Shohoku conquer Japan."

[Name]’s lips parted in a small “o,” but not in horror or anger, but rather in surprise. Before her eyes, she finally recognized the determined expression of the Mitsui she had known on the court in their old neighborhood. The boy she had taught to play basketball, who had become much more than just a good friend, was once again standing in front of her.

"Hisashi..." she murmured, her eyes widening further.

Mitsui straightened his shoulders, pulling his hands out of his pockets. He raised a hand to his neck and scratched it, looking down at the floor as shyness took over his gaze.

"So... [Name]-chan... I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to say or do all those stupid things to you. I know it’s not something that can be fixed with just an apology... But today, I really need you."

As soon as the last sentence left Mitsui’s lips, both felt a rush of heat rising to their faces. [Name] averted her eyes to the floor and began rubbing her fingers together with her thumb. The teenager scratched his neck even more quickly and continued:

"It’s-it’s just..." He blinked and, with great effort, looked back at the girl standing in front of him. "Since you helped me take the first step in basketball, I want you to do it again. I want you to help me take the first step back into basketball."

[Name] shifted her weight to her left leg and looked at her friend with a mix of insecurity and suppressed hope. She wanted so much to say yes. She had dreamed so many times of this moment—the moment when Mitsui would tell her that he was going back to basketball, returning to being the boy who had won her admiration in such a simple, genuine way...

But [Name] was fully aware that Mitsui's mistake was almost unforgivable, and she wasn’t going to let him think it would be easy to make everything right.

"I'm not going to play basketball with you, Hisashi," she said in the sternest voice she could muster.

The high schooler flinched as if he'd been punched in the gut. My God! How those words hurt. [Name]’s disdain was worse than any beating he had ever taken. But he deserved it; after all, he had also treated her with disdain... and in the worst possible way.

"I know," he said sadly. "But I need something only you can do."

[Name] furrowed her brows and waited. Mitsui raised his left hand until his fingers reached a lock of his dark hair.

"Could you... cut my hair?" He paused, trying not to stumble over his words, and laughed nervously. "Don’t worry. I’ll pay."

[Name]’s eyes widened so much that Mitsui thought they might pop out of their sockets.

Since girls tended to do this more often, she knew the significance of a haircut at a moment like this. Mitsui really wanted to change and wanted to leave a physical reminder of his new goal: to conquer Japan wearing Shohoku’s jersey.

After a few seconds, [Name] lowered her head and, turning on her heels, said, "Come here."

Surprised that he hadn’t received a harsh response from the girl, Mitsui promptly followed her with an astonished expression. She led him to the bathroom used by the staff and opened a cabinet containing a stack of white, fluffy towels. Grabbing one, she pushed it against the broad chest of the teenager and said, "Wipe off that blood so you don’t scare the other customers. When you’re done, go to the salon. I’ll be waiting there."

Mitsui nodded promptly and quickly cleaned himself up. When his face finally lost the most alarming signs of the fight, he folded the towel, leaving it in a corner, and headed to where [Name] was waiting. The girl was already dressed in a smock, with a cape draped over the same arm holding a pair of scissors.

"Have a seat," she said, her face wearing an indecipherable neutral expression.

Mitsui obeyed and sat down. [Name] adjusted the chair’s height and looked into the mirror to meet the boy’s blue eyes reflected there.

"So, what will it be?" she asked, running her fingers through the teenager's overgrown hair. Her touch sent involuntary shivers down Mitsui’s spine, and a slight blush spread across his cheeks.

"Ahm..." he muttered, glancing at the countertop cluttered with beauty tools. "You can cut it all off."

"All of it!?" she replied, her expression once again showing shock.

"Yeah. I mean, really short. It’s more comfortable for playing..."

The girl ran her fingers through Mitsui’s hair once more, taking a few measurements, and nodded.

"I’ll cut it little by little, and you can tell me if it’s okay, alright?"

"Uh-huh," he murmured, trying to stay still as he heard the first snips of the scissors cutting through his hair.

[Name] worked in silence, avoiding Mitsui’s deep blue eyes whenever she checked the cut in the mirror. However, it was impossible for her not to notice his features as the long hair stopped covering his face. Now that the black curtain had disappeared, [Name] could finally see the changes puberty had brought to her friend’s face. His jawline had become well-defined, but in a gentle way. Dark circles under his eyes marked the edges of his cheeks, which were covered in bruises and scratches, yet this detail still gave him a certain maturity. His straight nose had the same effect. His thick, black eyebrows perfectly crowned his pair of navy blue eyes, which had always captivated [Name] in a way she would never admit. Now they were much more visible, and this pleased her deeply.

In the end, Mitsui’s new haircut suited him very well, giving his face a more playful and determined look.

Yes... This was the Mitsui she had known.

"So?" she asked after making the final touch on the left side. "What do you think?"

He turned his head from side to side to see the new hairstyle from different angles and then smiled, satisfied. [Name] went to the counter and grabbed a square mirror so Mitsui could check the back of his hair too.

"Oh!" he said, smiling even more. "It really looks good! Thank you so much, [Name]-chan!"

While the teenager admired his friend’s work, [Name] couldn’t help but notice his features again. Mitsui had turned out much more handsome than she had anticipated.

Realizing this, her cheeks involuntarily heated up, and she lowered her face, afraid he would see her embarrassed expression.

"You’re welcome," she murmured, moving to the counter to put away the mirror and the brush she had used to remove the excess hair.

As soon as she removed the cape that had covered him, he stood up and quickly reached into his pocket, pulling out some green bills.

"How much do I owe you?" he asked, checking the amount he had.

[Name] had her back to him, organizing the counter and sweeping some leftover hair onto the floor. She bit her lip at Mitsui’s question, and the phrase he had said earlier echoed in her mind:

"I know. But I need something only you can do."

"Could you... cut my hair?"

Now that she could finally see Mitsui's eyes without his long black hair in the way, she was certain that he wasn’t just talking for the sake of it. She recognized his stubborn determination in the navy blue of his eyes. The haircut was his way of telling himself that he wanted to, and would, become who he once was. If she charged him for it, Mitsui's request would lose all its meaning.

"Nothing," she said, reaching out for the broom that was leaning nearby. "It's on me."

"But...!" he blinked, stunned as he stared at the back of her head. "I said I’d pay!"

"Shut up and accept it, idiot," she replied, too afraid to turn around and meet his eyes.

A whirlwind of emotions tore through her chest. Her head was spinning with confusion. She wanted so badly to celebrate this, to support him at his games, and to train with him... But at the same time, she couldn’t forget what he had done. And that stopped her from showing what she truly felt.

The teenager remained silent for a few moments before saying, "[Name]-chan... Please, let me pay for the haircut. I'll feel really bad i—"

"I already told you it’s on me!" she exclaimed too loudly as she turned her body and began sweeping with her eyes fixed on the floor. She walked past Mitsui and bumped into his shoulder hard. "I’m done here. You can go."

Mitsui didn’t move. His eyes went blank, staring into nothing as he digested [Name]'s harsh words. He had known from the start that he wouldn’t win her trust right away, but that didn’t lessen the weight of being treated like this by her.

However, even though she was clearly resentful, [Name] had granted his request. And if she didn’t charge for the service... it meant that, deep down, she wanted to do it for him and was happy that he had come back.

A slight smile curved Mitsui's lips as he realized this, and he quietly approached [Name] until he stood just behind her.

"[Name]-chan," he called, letting the gratitude he felt fill her name.

Hearing his voice so close, [Name] tensed up, feeling her cheeks flush once more. Trying to sound as harsh as possible, she turned sharply and growled, "Hisashi, I already told you to—"

But she couldn’t finish the sentence. As soon as she turned around, a soft, warm touch on her left cheek silenced her instantly. Mitsui was leaning in, his hand gently resting on her left shoulder as his lips placed a very sweet kiss on her blushing face.

The touch lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to make all the hairs on [Name]'s body stand on end. Internally, she wished Mitsui’s touch had lasted a little longer. Pulling back slightly, he whispered, "Thank you."

He then straightened up, running his hand through his hair in a slightly awkward manner.

"Well, I’ll be going. See you later, [Name]-chan."

He turned on his heels and headed toward the exit of the salon. The girl remained frozen, staring at the back of her childhood friend. She hated herself for being so affected by his gesture, and even more for knowing that deep down, she really wanted Mitsui back... for herself.

Maybe it wasn’t the right time for them to reconnect, but they could start, right?

She went back to sweeping, and just as he stopped to open the door, she raised her voice: “Hey, idiot.”

Startled, the teenager turned his torso enough to look at [Name] with a questioning expression. “If you don’t make Shohoku rise to the top of Japan, I swear I’ll beat you to death".

Mitsui's eyes widened, and gradually, a smile replaced his shocked expression. He chuckled quietly as he remembered the countless times he had said he would conquer the nation. There was no turning back. This time, he had to succeed.

Widening his smile even further, he looked at [Name] defiantly and said, “I’m on it.”

[absolutebl]

10 BLs where the Main Couple has NO Prior History

Or at least, very very little of it. The opposite of the very popular LTP (long term pining). 

This post in response to a question posed by the most excellent @luuhecia​ who asked: Soooo here's my plea: do you have any recommendations of shows where the people involved have no previous history?

In other words we get to watch them meet and fall in love with no prior history on either side. So I eliminated those were there was a made crush even if only recently (e.g. Light on Me, Takara & Amagi). 

1. Seven Days

They know of each other but just in a normal high school way. No pining. The story is basically about the 7 days it takes them to fall in love. 

2. Color Rush

They are destined for each other but they have never met before. 

3. Semantic Error 

In fact, part of the premise is a “hunt for the unknown boy who made him fail to graduate.” 

4. To My Star 

They have a couple of meet cutes, accidentally shack up together. 

There are actually a TON from Korea. 

5. Addicted 

The new kid in high school. They have a family connection (it turns out) but they didn’t know each other. 

6. Restart After Come Back Home

We see them meet for the first time and then go on from there.

7. HIStory 2: Crossing the Line 

They meet by crashing into each other because... Taiwan. 

8. My Tooth Your Love 

Just so cute. 

9. Eclipse

There are a lot of good ones from Thailand but I chose this because it’s part of the plot, how they know nothing about each other. 

10. Love by Chance 

Just the greatest meet cute ever. 

NEW ENTRY

11. The Eighth Sense

Actually uses the fact that the DO NOT have prior history with each other as a plot point and for character development. It’s addressed directly ind dialogue. Very nicely done! 

Others that didn’t make my top 10 but still have no prior pining

China 

Advance Bravely 

Capture Lover

My Esports Genius Brother - love at first sight 

Japan

Candy Color Paradox 

Given - love at first sight 

His the series  - love at first sight 

Senpai This Can’t Be Love (he has a crush on him but they haven’t actually met each other) 

Silhouette of Your Voice

Kieta Hatsukoi

My Beautiful Man 

Mr Unlucky - love at first sight 

Korea 

Kissable Lips - fated mates

Mr Heart

My Sweet Dear 

Love Class 

Behind Cut 

Shoulder to Cry On 

The Lover - cohabitation 

Unintentional Love Story 

Tasty Florida - love at first sight 

 Roommates of 304 

All the Liquors

Blueming

New Employee 

Nobleman Ryus Wedding 

Oh Boarding House 

Ocean Likes Me 

Tinted With You 

Wish You - love at first sight 

You Make Me Dance  

The Philippines 

Like in the Movies

My Day 

Rainbow Prince 

Taiwan 

Because of You 

Be Loved in House I Do

Craving You - love at first sight 

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong 

See You After Quarantine? 

Vietnam

Hay Rival I Love You 

My Lascivious Boss - one night stand

Nation’s Brother - one night stand

Want to See You 

You Are Ma Boy

Thailand

(not all are chronicled, there’s too many, main couples only) 

Ai Long Nhai - love at first sight 

Bite Me

Between Us - one night stand 

Coffee Melody

Love Mechanics - one night stand  

Ghost Host Ghost House

Gen Y - love at first sight 

KinnPorsche (family connection but they don’t know about it) 

La Cuisine 

Tale of 1000 Stars - Well there is the heart connection but it’s not quite the same thing

Love in the Air 

Love Area 

My Engineer 

Meow Ears Up 

Moonlight Chicken - one night stand 

My Ride - GREAT example of well developed meet cute and then romance 

Never Let Me Go

Not Me - erm, it’s complicated 

Oh My Sunshine Night 

Oxygen - love at first sight 

Paint with Love

Puppy Honey 

Siew Sum Noi

Something in My Room 

Top Secret Together 

TharnType 

Tuxedo 

Unforgotten Night - One Night Stand 

Vice Versa 

What Zabb Man 

YYY 

This post as of April 2023, not responsible of BLs that fit this criteria after that date. But feel free to leave a comment or repost with more additions. 

(source)

[satoshi-mochida]

The Legend of Heroes: Kai no Kiseki - Farewell O Zemuria details Trails of Cold Steel series returning characters - Gematsu

Falcom has released new information and screenshots for The Legend of Heroes: Kai no Kiseki – Farewell, O Zemuria introducing The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel series returning characters Rean Schwarzer, Altina Orion, Crow Armbrust, Fie Claussell, and Towa Herschel.

Rean Schwarzer (voiced by Koki Uchiyama)

A young man who works as an instructor at Thors Military Academy in the Erebonian Empire. While he was once at the mercy of a great fate that surrounded the Empire, he was able to overcome it with the help of his many companions and collaborators. He has fully mastered the Eastern school of swordsmanship “Eight Leaves One Blade,” and is currently known as the “Divine Blade of Ash.” In this game, Rean joins his Thors Military Academy Class VII companions after receiving an invitation from former enemy nation the Republic of Calvard for “a certain reason.” Around the same time, he receives a letter from his master Yun Ka-fai, whom he has not seen for quite some time…

Altina Orion (voiced by Inori Minase)

Age: 17

A member of the Thors Military Academy Strategy Research Lab. After graduation, she also became partially affiliated with the Imperial branch of the Epstein Foundation. In battle, her partner combat shell Claiomh Solais transforms into the next-generation weapon “Shield Caliber.” Despite being born into unique circumstances, she is now growing up as a normal human, and sets foot into Calvard with her former instructor and current colleague Rean. In this game, she becomes the liaison in charge of a “certain matter” at the Foundation’s request.

Crow Armbrust (voiced by Takahiro Sakurai)

Age: 25

A young freelance contractor in Taslem, a free city in the north-central region of the continent, who negotiates, mediates, and resolves matters such as international disputes and conflicts behind the scenes. After overcoming the unusual events that occurred in the Empire and Crossbell, he was able to resolve the turmoil in his hometown Jurai with the help of his companions… Following this, he moved his base of operations not to the Empire or Jurai, but to the free city adjacent to northeastern Calvard. In addition to using a large-scale motorcycle from the Etwas Company to get around, he also signed a contract with the mercenary group Marduk Total Security Company and has updated his double-edged sword “Double Saber” to a new, foldable type. In this game, he will join Rean, a good friend and companion from Class VII, in Ored, where Marduk Total Security Company is headquartered.

Fie Claussell (voiced by Hisako Kanemoto)

Age: 21

A girl known as “Sylphid,” a B-rank bracer of the Imperial Bracer Guild, who is currently on assignment in Calvard again. She assisted Zin, Elaine, and the others during the series of turmoil involving the mafia organization Almata last year. Thanks to a mutual acquaintance with Feri, she has also built a good relationship with the Arkride Solutions Office. In this game, she will join and support Rean and the others, who have been unofficially invited by the Republic. She proposes a “certain suggestion” using her connections with Van and company, but…

Towa Herschel (voiced by Ai Nonaka)

Age: 24

A woman who was transferred from Thors Military Academy in the Erebonian Empire to Aramis High School as a temporary instructor. Though petite and easy to mistake for a student, she is extremely intelligent and highly skilled in operations. Since her school days as president of the student council, she has managed numerous administrative tasks, negotiations, and even commanded an airship. In addition to being an instructor, she is also a member of an international non-governmental organization, where she fully demonstrates her abilities and continues to earnestly tackle issues such as conflict zones and poverty. In this game, she joins her younger colleague Rean and former classmate Crow to support them as they visit a facility that her grandfather, a renowned astronomer, once visited.

The Legend of Heroes: Kai no Kiseki – Farewell O Zemuria is due out for PlayStation 5 and PlayStation 4 on September 26 in Japan.

If you missed our previous coverage, read more about the game’s characters, story, and new battle system elements here, here, and here.

View the screenshots at the gallery.

[datingcentralauckland]

Future Predictions

Have you thought about going to therapy over your alcoholic step dad beating you?

Three wars later…..

BRRROOOO I swear that’s the fourth time I’ve stabbed that same guy in the eyes……..

Anyway, back to the Future

The holy trinity of AI, Cold Fusion, and stateless virtual currency is upon us. Not in the real sense, hence AI is an algorithm, cold fusion is a toxic academics paradise, and Crypto is a neo-hippie’s cosmopolitan interpretation of revolution. But the nuts and bolts are there.    

AI for lack of a better word will make the arts and craft community more personal fulfillment orientated, as the generic holocaust of fake its, and half baked its, wither in agony to the social projection of fiver savants, or the new/old age paper- run side-hustle of iPad button ushers.

We have become a society of button pushers; but in the death of the old heralds the new, a virtual Woodstock as it were, of semi-professional social virtual relationships with subscription platforms. Information is free and abundant, and it seem the banking democratic failure is the information highways success.

You can now learn to bake a cake and watch the chef’s asshole at the same time from the other side of the planet, and that my friends, is irony. Every small shithole apartment, dingey bedroom, or hollow soulless mansion, is a spaceship traveling through the intergalactic virtual twilight zone, of sarcasm and fuckery.  

Everyone has an opinion, everyone is selling something, and everyone cool, important, and unique. It is just me and my man-bun against the world, but what happens if I am captured in this new dating utopia, and become domesticated. Will my man-bun tilt to the side like porpoises trapped in a chlorinated pool, one can only imagine.

There are only two versions of the future based on the holy trinity of AI, Cold Fusion, and Crypto.

One, there will be virtual classes of algorithm discrimination, based on grades, criminal and family profiles, wealth, nationality, and geographic location. This is a Blade Runner futurism come to full fruition, and you will hump a state sponsored bot that runs on premium cold fusion credits limitedly sourced only from low skilled work credits as a virtual slave of limitations.

Two, a classless world of abundance and a technological nature improving utopia that runs on absolute efficiency. The ‘dating Olympics,’ will run every two years where sponsored players will do the rounds and civilians can win tickets to do cameos. It will probably sound like “I orgasm to blue Gatorade, the drink that gets me through at top level gang bangs. Every forth bottle purchased wins you a cum rag t-shirt.”

I just think its ironic that only one of these versions sounds slightly familiar.

A better version would be a reality dating show, where 30 guys that are fixated on MILF’s; date 30 woman on an island, but only one woman is a serial killer that uses her nurture behavior to slip men into a deep slumber and then kill them based on her period cycle, because its naturally familiar.

But let’s take it one step further, an algorithm predicts one to be her soulmate, and another to be the type of person that bullied her in high school.  The show would ask the moral question is it better to kill the goodness inside you to save yourself, or the badness inside you and free all the people.

With that said, one could be a mystery prize where she wins a fish farm or something and feeds the body into a woodchipper and sprays the fish with their first snack…… Perhaps her future son, because incest is so hot right  now, and so ancient covid injection de-evolved the womb.

Afterall, it is appropriate behaviour for a closed loop system on a spaceship, but I always did like the term spaceship earth…..

[sa7abnews]

The Precarious Online Lives of Young Men

New Post has been published on https://sa7ab.info/2024/08/16/the-precarious-online-lives-of-young-men/

The Precarious Online Lives of Young Men

As the new school year is upon us, parents are worried about their children’s mental health—and they should be. The latest CDC data from the largest ongoing study on youth well-being finds high rates of helplessness, suicidal ideas, bullying, among other forms of violence. For girls, the rates are often higher. But boys are far less likely to seek help when they need it, and are more likely to take out their problems on others.

In recent years, lots of young men feel adrift—and as a result, oftentimes find solace in misogynist and anti-democratic spaces online. That’s the alarm being raised by experts, including the U.S. Surgeon General, who recently called for warning labels on social media platforms.

The crisis among young men is real. Equimundo (the organization one of us, Gary Barker, leads) carried out a 2023 national study of 18 to 45-year-old men in the United States, which found that two out of three 18-23 year olds said “No one really knows me well.” In addition, 30% of the youngest men said they see no one outside their home on a weekly basis. And about 40% thought about suicide in the past two weeks.

Read More: Why America’s Fathers Aren’t Living Up to Expectations

As leaders of two organizations concerned about young men’s mental health and working to prevent violence online and off, these findings gave us pause. In the study, nearly half of men said their online lives are more interesting than their offline lives. Forty five percent of the youngest men said they trust one of the many angry, racist, misogynist, anti-democratic voices online. More trust Andrew Tate than the President. How do we hold a democracy together in light of that?

We recently shared these statistics with a group of high school boys of various ethnicities and income groups from the Washington, DC area. In response, the boys shared fears, doubts, frustrations about adults who judge and don’t understand, confusion about what it is to be a man, and concerns for despondent peers. They also told us about their search for friends, deeper relationships, and intimate partners—for just about everything—online.

In 2024, we followed up on that survey with a six-month long study of young men’s online lives, including an AI-assisted analysis of over 40 hours of Twitch streams, over 1.5 million lines of chat logs and 36,963 lines of Discord chat logs, and spent more than 100 hours observing the six largest male-dominated digital channels. And the results were striking: What we found was that, for young men, there is little distinction between “in real life” (IRL) and “online life.” Our review of young men’s online world confirms that their online communities dwarf their real-life spaces by a factor of at least a thousand. YouTube, the mothership of online platforms for young men, has about 2.49 billion monthly active users, between 55%-65% of which are men. Fantasy Football has 75 million users, more than two-thirds men. By contrast, 750,000 young men belong to U.S. fraternities and more than 1.1 million are in Scouting America. The upshot is that young men’s largest gathering spaces are online and much of their lives are spent in virtual meeting spaces. This means that we have to pay attention to what’s happening there—the positive, the harmful, and the in between.

Despite what we often think of the “manosphere,” YouTube, Reddit, Fantasy Football, and other sites popular with young men lean more positive than negative. Queries like this one, posted by a young man on Reddit, speak volumes: “Hey other dudes. How many of you are dealing with the existential dread of not being able to afford it like our fathers and grandfathers were able to?” Thousands posted “likes” to that question in agreement and solidarity. From economic stress to gaming, being loveless to being a “lookmaxxer” seeking to improve physical appearance, young men feel that the internet gets them and their deepest fears.

In reality, the absence of real-life connections in the manosphere often becomes a space where misogyny and conspiracy theories feed real-life violence or self-harm. The pathway from clicking on or following the dark sides of the web—and engaging in violence or self-harm because of it— is, of course, complex. And while the majority of visitors in even the most misogynist spaces don’t carry out harm, frequent internet use has been associated with loneliness, poor communication with family, and depression. These unhealthy online spaces don’t just mirror those feelings—they often exacerbate them.

How can parents, educators, and media content makers help? First, we need to trust the boys. Young men (and young women) can be critical consumers and citizens in their online worlds. Start with a belief that young men’s engagement with dubious content online is not an automatic pathway to self-harm and violence.

Second, talk to young men. Researchers at the University of Liverpool developed a “Men for Change” curriculum that engages young men in conversations about what they consume online and were able to measure important attitude shifts. Parents, business leaders, and organizations have to get in the conversation, too. Vodafone’s AI “aggro-rithms” campaign, for instance, raises awareness about how harmful AI algorithms target Britain’s boys and included a toolkit that supports parents in having online safety conversations with their children.

Read More: Parents Need to Talk to Their Sons About Care

Third, build on the many influencers and spaces that already connect positively with young men. Such influencers are out there and can be engaged—we need to turn up the traffic to those spaces, as the men’s health group Movember has done.

Finally, guide young men to safer spaces—in real life— particularly when they are on the cusp of going down the rabbit hole to one of the angry, dark spaces, and are on the verge of causing harm to themselves or others. The group Diverting Hate, for instance, uses redirection campaigns—essentially buying ads linking to healthy manhood messages. Their results show that about 50% of users on platforms with harmful content looked at the ads, and in one setting they measured an increase in interest in positive off-line spaces for men.

Our work tells us that harmed young men, cut off from others, too often harm themselves or others. But if we engage them, care for them, listen to them, understand what they consume online, they both live better lives and they become better allies for others—for women’s rights, for racial justice, for our democracy—they will find their way. Let’s stay in the room for the difficult talks. Engage. Listen more. Don’t panic.

[douxlen]

The Precarious Online Lives of Young Men

New Post has been published on https://douxle.com/2024/08/14/the-precarious-online-lives-of-young-men/

The Precarious Online Lives of Young Men

As the new school year is upon us, parents are worried about their children’s mental health—and they should be. The latest CDC data from the largest ongoing study on youth well-being finds high rates of helplessness, suicidal ideas, bullying, among other forms of violence. For girls, the rates are often higher. But boys are far less likely to seek help when they need it, and are more likely to take out their problems on others.

In recent years, lots of young men feel adrift—and as a result, oftentimes find solace in misogynist and anti-democratic spaces online. That’s the alarm being raised by experts, including the U.S. Surgeon General, who recently called for warning labels on social media platforms.

The crisis among young men is real. Equimundo (the organization one of us, Gary Barker, leads) carried out a 2023 national study of 18 to 45-year-old men in the United States, which found that two out of three 18-23 year olds said “No one really knows me well.” In addition, 30% of the youngest men said they see no one outside their home on a weekly basis. And about 40% thought about suicide in the past two weeks.

Read More: Why America’s Fathers Aren’t Living Up to Expectations

As leaders of two organizations concerned about young men’s mental health and working to prevent violence online and off, these findings gave us pause. In the study, nearly half of men said their online lives are more interesting than their offline lives. Forty five percent of the youngest men said they trust one of the many angry, racist, misogynist, anti-democratic voices online. More trust Andrew Tate than the President. How do we hold a democracy together in light of that?

We recently shared these statistics with a group of high school boys of various ethnicities and income groups from the Washington, DC area. In response, the boys shared fears, doubts, frustrations about adults who judge and don’t understand, confusion about what it is to be a man, and concerns for despondent peers. They also told us about their search for friends, deeper relationships, and intimate partners—for just about everything—online.

In 2024, we followed up on that survey with a six-month long study of young men’s online lives, including an AI-assisted analysis of over 40 hours of Twitch streams, over 1.5 million lines of chat logs and 36,963 lines of Discord chat logs, and spent more than 100 hours observing the six largest male-dominated digital channels. And the results were striking: What we found was that, for young men, there is little distinction between “in real life” (IRL) and “online life.” Our review of young men’s online world confirms that their online communities dwarf their real-life spaces by a factor of at least a thousand. YouTube, the mothership of online platforms for young men, has about 2.49 billion monthly active users, between 55%-65% of which are men. Fantasy Football has 75 million users, more than two-thirds men. By contrast, 750,000 young men belong to U.S. fraternities and more than 1.1 million are in Scouting America. The upshot is that young men’s largest gathering spaces are online and much of their lives are spent in virtual meeting spaces. This means that we have to pay attention to what’s happening there—the positive, the harmful, and the in between.

Despite what we often think of the “manosphere,” YouTube, Reddit, Fantasy Football, and other sites popular with young men lean more positive than negative. Queries like this one, posted by a young man on Reddit, speak volumes: “Hey other dudes. How many of you are dealing with the existential dread of not being able to afford it like our fathers and grandfathers were able to?” Thousands posted “likes” to that question in agreement and solidarity. From economic stress to gaming, being loveless to being a “lookmaxxer” seeking to improve physical appearance, young men feel that the internet gets them and their deepest fears.

In reality, the absence of real-life connections in the manosphere often becomes a space where misogyny and conspiracy theories feed real-life violence or self-harm. The pathway from clicking on or following the dark sides of the web—and engaging in violence or self-harm because of it— is, of course, complex. And while the majority of visitors in even the most misogynist spaces don’t carry out harm, frequent internet use has been associated with loneliness, poor communication with family, and depression. These unhealthy online spaces don’t just mirror those feelings—they often exacerbate them.

How can parents, educators, and media content makers help? First, we need to trust the boys. Young men (and young women) can be critical consumers and citizens in their online worlds. Start with a belief that young men’s engagement with dubious content online is not an automatic pathway to self-harm and violence.

Second, talk to young men. Researchers at the University of Liverpool developed a “Men for Change” curriculum that engages young men in conversations about what they consume online and were able to measure important attitude shifts. Parents, business leaders, and organizations have to get in the conversation, too. Vodafone’s AI “aggro-rithms” campaign, for instance, raises awareness about how harmful AI algorithms target Britain’s boys and included a toolkit that supports parents in having online safety conversations with their children.

Read More: Parents Need to Talk to Their Sons About Care

Third, build on the many influencers and spaces that already connect positively with young men. Such influencers are out there and can be engaged—we need to turn up the traffic to those spaces, as the men’s health group Movember has done.

Finally, guide young men to safer spaces—in real life— particularly when they are on the cusp of going down the rabbit hole to one of the angry, dark spaces, and are on the verge of causing harm to themselves or others. The group Diverting Hate, for instance, uses redirection campaigns—essentially buying ads linking to healthy manhood messages. Their results show that about 50% of users on platforms with harmful content looked at the ads, and in one setting they measured an increase in interest in positive off-line spaces for men.

Our work tells us that harmed young men, cut off from others, too often harm themselves or others. But if we engage them, care for them, listen to them, understand what they consume online, they both live better lives and they become better allies for others—for women’s rights, for racial justice, for our democracy—they will find their way. Let’s stay in the room for the difficult talks. Engage. Listen more. Don’t panic.

[analytically]

Books I read in 2023

This is a bit late, but I wanted to post about the books I read last year, partly because it's fun and partly because I think it'll motivate me to read more in 2024. I'm excluding books I read for classes unless there's something I have to say about them, and I'm also excluding one nonfiction, political book I read at the start of the year, because I don't remember it well enough to share my opinions accurately.

Fiction

The Ministry for the Future (2020) by Kim Stanley Robinson

A pretty good book; it's about various groups working in the near future to fight climate change, some of which resort to extralegal tactics. It presents a pretty bleak future with a high level of impact from climate change; I thought it was good, but if you're the type of person who catastrophizes about climate change it may not be the best book for you. There's a lot of procedural stuff and description of how organizations work, too — it's not just describing suffering. This book has a moderately anti-capitalist message.

Invisible Man (1952) by Ralph Ellison

Reading this book is an interesting experience; Ellison's writing style is often quite surreal and reading can feel like walking through thick grass. If you don't like that, you may not want to read this book. It's about an African-American man who moves from the South to New York in the 20th century (pre-Civil Rights Movement), and his experiences along the way. There are strong political messages here, although they're less obvious 70 years on. Black nationalism/separatism are discussed and critiqued, and the main character ultimately ends up isolated from society.

The Truth (2000) by Terry Pratchett

This is a fantasy novel about the first newspaper in a society. It's pretty great — one of the best of the Discworld books I read this year. It's got a pro-journalism message.

Going Postal (2004) and Making Money (2007) by Terry Pratchett

These two Discworld novels, in a medieval fantasy setting, are both about Moist von Lipwig, a clever criminal who's spared from execution by the city's mostly-benevolent tyrant and forced to become a civil servant instead. He reopens the postal system and invents fiat currency (in this way we get a look at the institutions of our own civilization), becoming more ethical and exposing corruption along the way. Both books are good, but I think Going Postal is a little better.

Huda F Are You? (2021) and Huda F Cares? (2023) by Huda Fahmy

These are a pair of semiautobiographical graphic novels about a Muslim teenager growing up in Michigan. Huda F Are You? focuses on the protagonist's struggle to define her identity and make friends in middle school; it was emotionally engaging and quite relatable. I wish I had been able to read it when I was in middle school! Huda F Cares? focuses on the protagonist's relationship with her siblings and her struggle to practice her religion, despite prejudice from society and her friends' at times differing values. I found it slightly less compelling than Huda F Are You?, but still definitely a book worth reading! Perhaps that's because I'm an irreligious only child.

Klara and the Sun (2021) by Kazuo Ishiguro

This book is definitely science fiction, but it has a much more personal and melancholy tone than most sci-fi books. It's told through the perspective of an unusually perceptive and empathetic robot who worships the Sun, in a world where... well, it would be spoilers to talk about how different the world is! Let's just say that the book explores loneliness, intelligence and its relationship to society, and the possible effects of technological progress. I've heard that this book is supposed to deal with AI, but I found its message to be pretty far from the concerns raised by recent advances in large language models (LLMs) and image generation. I'd say that social media (vis-a-vis a decline in real-world socialization) and pre-LLM automation relate to the book's world more than today's AIs. Klara and the Sun is also very well-written.

Nonfiction

Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain (2007) by Oliver Sacks

A fascinating exploration of the psychological and neurological aspects of humanity's affinity for music, this book strings together a series of anecdotes from the author's time practicing medicine about how music affects the brain, especially among people with rare brain disorders. There are some truly fascinating — and surprising! — cases discussed. These are interspersed with explanations of what we know, and don't know, about why music has such an effect on the human brain. Overall, this book was quite interesting, and I recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in these sorts of topics.

[madagway-hautaw]

Travelogue

Written by: Argelyn Salac

[mcgravin]

(this post from @foone​ got me thinking about a post I had been working on and saved in drafts, so I finished it up and here it is)

Thinking about the current discourse around AI—generative art trained on people's copyrighted works, ChatGPT writing essays for high school students, the hilarious failure of Bing's AI chatbot assistant, and on and on—and it made me want to go back and read one of the classics of scifi about AI, Asimov's short story ["The Last Question"](http://users.ece.cmu.edu/~gamvrosi/thelastq.html). I want to look back on this story as a time capsule of what we knew computers and AI could be at the time it was written. Spoilers below for a 67 year old scifi short story; go read it first, it's pretty good!

[image ID: the cover of Science Fiction Quarterly, November 1956, featuring "The Last Question" by Isaac Asimov; the image on the cover is of a man standing in front of a landed rocket and wearing a red, military-style uniform and interesting helmet, clutching a ray gun that seems inspired by the Thompson submachine gun, looking over his shoulder at a group of "tribal" looking native aliens with yellow-green skin; I interpret the man's expression as a sneer of disgust or possibly suspicion]

I hadn't read it in a while, but it's one of my favorites. I remember the broad arc of the story, but not specific details. So the second paragraph really threw me for a loop:

> Alexander Adell and Bertram Lupov were two of the faithful attendants of Multivac. As well as any human beings could, they knew what lay behind the cold, clicking, flashing face -- miles and miles of face -- of that giant computer. They had at least a vague notion of the general plan of relays and circuits that had long since grown past the point where any single human could possibly have a firm grasp of the whole.

Let's break that down, keeping in mind that the start of the story is set in May, 2061, almost 40 years from now: 1. The computer* Multivac has attendant*s* (multiple). 2. It has a "face" (the interface, presumably) that is "miles and miles" long and is "giant", so we can conclude that the body of the computer is likely the size of a building and occupies an entire warehouse-sized space if not multiple warehouses. 3. It's largely composed of relays (explaining why it's described as "clicking").

(* From this description, along with the story's description of its abilities, Multivac would probably be considered a supercomputer, but supercomputing wasn't really a well-known concept until the first supercomputers were built in early 1960s, so Asimov very plausibly wouldn't have known the term. Compare the description of Multivac with the fastest modern supercomputer, Frontier, built by HPE Cray and AMD at Oak Ridge National Laboratory. Frontier occupies seventy-four 19-inch server rack cabinets, giving it a "face" of probably a bit more than 120 feet.)

From this, it seems clear that even in the world of speculative fiction, someone as forward thinking as Asimov had not yet foreseen the explosive potential of the transistor to miniaturize computers. In fact, I at first wondered if he would have even been particularly aware of the discovery of the transistor*, since it had only been proposed as a concept in 1926 and the first working example was created in 1947. In an amusing coincidence, the story was published in Nov 1956, just barely more than a month before the 1956 Nobel Prize would be awarded in December to the Bell Labs team that created that first working transistor. It would still be 9 years yet until Moore's Law would be posited in 1965.

(* Just as an aside, he does mention transistors in the story, exactly once. After the first section of the story taking place in May 2061, each section jumps forward in time. The second section takes place an unspecified number of years further in the future, when mankind can travel through hyperspace to colonize new worlds. The story says "In place of transistors, had come molecular valves so that even the largest Planetary AC could be put into a space only half the volume of a spaceship.", so Asimov acknowledges the transistor and discards it all in one breath, and computers are still massive things.)

Bringing this back to the starting point, all of this has me thinking about the oncoming tidal wave of AI and wondering where our predictive gaps are in guessing exactly how extensively AI is going to totally disrupt work, the economy, politics, society, and just day to day life in general. Is quantum computing the modern equivalent of the transistor? As it stands, it's currently right on that cusp between scifi and reality—in limited use, but largely still under research and not yet anywhere near the potential we've been able to predict—like the transistor was in '56. Or will it be some other technology we haven't even considered?

[hnnyoongs]

Kudo Yukiko Headcanons

the first few headcanons are from my post on my incorrect dcmk quotes twitter account so check that out if you want

She's half japanese and half white.

Her hair is all natural, since her eyebrows are also the same color as her hair, even in the flashback from high school so unless she's been dying her eyebrows for 20 or so years...yeah she's got natural reddish-brown hair.

It's not like she was adopted or moved to Japan because her birth name, Fujimine Yukiko, is still completely in Japanese. There are two different reasons for way he name cold be this way. Either she's a bastard/unwanted child of a white man so she adopts her mother's last name or she's got a japanese father and a white mother and she just uses her father's last name like most people.

Yukiko being half white with what seems to be canonically some euro-centric features would have helped her career boost a bunch on the international level. It's fucked up but people of color, especially asians, have a very hard time entering the international acting scene. Detective Conan tells us she's picked up awards from all around the globe and she's got connections throughout Hollywood and Broadway.

Her success in the United States would be easier for the western media to stomach if she had a white parent and could speak English. Unless Detective Conan suddenly doesn't have xenophobia and racism, she would have faced hurdles.

She bonds with Ai about the discrimination they face because of how they look both in Japan and in the US.

Shinichi used to demand Yukiko to read him the original Sherlock Holmes books written by Arthur Conan Doyle in English as bedtime stories, which she did

Yukiko was a child actor.

Now I know canon says that she debuted at 18 but that really does not make any sense what so ever for her to get like every single godamn award at that age. I think that she started out as a small time child actor in Japan but then her talent catapulted her into national fame by the time she started junior high.

The movies she was in Japan became hits internationally once she became a teenager, kind of like how Parasite blew up despite the language barrier. Some of the shows she starred in were dubbed into English because they became so popular but fans outside of Japan wanted her to star in something bigger.

Once she got into high school she began her international career, starring in Hollywood blockbuster after Hollywood blockbuster. She guest starred in some American TV shows and was so popular her characters became recurring characters. Yukiko even took part in a Broadway musical for the funsies, she was on American talk shows and the general population of the USA loved her.

Yukiko built herself up from the ground, from as young as the age of four she was handling her paperwork when it came to acting. This may seem unrealistic but at least in the real life American acting industry, child actors are instructed to take care of everything themselves. Producers don't want your parents on set, they expect 6 year olds to be able to have everything in order.

Yukiko had to travel a lot for her job and in doing so she started thinking that Japan was too small for her, that she wanted to see the world, all the interesting things outside of her boring neighborhood where the same things happen day in and day out. It didn't help that her parents would travel with the money Yukiko had made, so when she had her own son she began to do what her parents did and also what she had wanted to do since a young child. Little did she realize that her son was not her, that her travels would hurt him in a different way than it hurt her.

Teitan was a really accommodating school and took her absences in stride. Yukiko was on good terms with everyone there and was pretty good friends with Kogoro and therefore friends with Eri by extension since wherever one of those two went the other would follow behind trying start up some shit. This is why Teitan is so okay with Shinichi missing school for months, because his mother was similar. This is also why the school is so good at hiding info about Shinichi coming and going, since they had to hide stuff about Yukiko from the media back in the day.

Yukiko can hold a tune but she's not phenomenal at singing either.

She's not as bad as her son, she a little above average to be honest but her acting skills made up for her pretty normal singing when she starred in a Broadway musical. The only reason the musical did so well was because of her popularity.

She helped a lot of other people in broadway with their acting skills which is why even though she's nothing remarkable when it comes to her voice, she's still well loved by the industry.

Yukiko is bisexual.

Her first love was Yusaku and she never had a crush before him. all she really cared about was her career but she loved Yusaku so much she quit. Sometimes she regrets quitting because she misses being on the stage or the big screen or even the small screen but she never lets her husband or son know about these doubts because she's terrified of what their reactions would be.

Shinichi was not planned and Yukiko knew that if she were to raise him that would mean leaving her job at the height of her career but Yukiko felt like the baby inside of her was the light of her life and for him she would destroy the world, yusaku and herself if her child desired such a thing.

Yukiko knew Sharon (who we know as Vermouth) since Yukiko started to trickle into Hollywood but she only started to feel attracted to the woman long after she'd gotten married and had Shinichi. She never voiced her feelings but Yusaku found out anyway and they talked about it. They decided that the healthiest option was for Yukiko to tell Sharon about it in order to get it off her chest when they got the news that the actress had died. When Yukiko found out that Sharon was actually Vermouth it took a real toll on her mental health, not that anyone except Yusaku knew about how hard she took it.

Yukiko and Yusaku both partook in polyamory in the very early stages of their relationship though once they had Shinichi they stopped until they decided Shinichi would be able to chose because they valued his opinion and if their son wasn't okay with the idea that one day the media might unveil that the kudo couple were part of the Hollywood sex scene then they'd decide not to go back into the whole mess. At age 14 Shinichi told them they could do whatever as long as he didn't have to hear the details.

Yukiko wanted to pull Shuichi into a relationship with her and Yusaku, citing that the couple and the FBI agent only had a 5 year age gap Shuichi said he wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual after Akemi died so the Kudo couple respected his wishes

Yukiko would spend time asking Shuichi questions about the FBI and about himself and observing the man in general whenever she came to check up on his disguise and once she got back to the US she would give Yusaku her notes who in turn wrote the screenplay for "The Scarlet Investigator". Yukiko suggested adding a side couple that owns the house that the main character rents, based off of Yusaku and Yukiko, which Yusaku does by inverting their genders and changing their nationalities to suit a western audience.

Yukiko breaks several laws to make sure that Conan's identity is not outed.

She has Jii and Kaito to mess with security footage, she pays off witness who see him and makes them sign NDAs, and Yusaku does this as well though he does it to a much lesser extent because Shinichi's more likely to get angry at Yusaku for sticking his nose into Shinichi's case than Shinichi would be angry at Yukiko

If Ai ever needs some banned substances that Agasa can't get in order to create the antidote, Yukiko sends her what she needs in bulk

Yukiko will forever hate herself for not realizing Shinichi had gone missing for 2 weeks. If apotoxin worked properly Shinichi would have died and Yukiko wouldn't know because her and Yusaku had turned their phones off for a month straight and only came back to Japan when they turned their phones on again to see that Agasa had left them a message about Shinichi turning into Conan, Ran had texted them asking if they knew where Shinichi was and the school wanted to know why Shinichi was absent

Yukiko continues to bribe Kogoro throughout Conan's stay at the Mouri Detective Agency but it comes to her surprise that Kogoro had saved almost all of it into a college fund for Conan, implying that Kogoro does not plan to give Conan back to his original parents if they ever decide to show up again.

sorry for this word vomit lol

[hrodvitnon]

I said it before and I'll say it again about the MCU; Franchise Fatigue is a fuckin real thing and it's a BITCH!

Hell, after Spidey No Way We Ain't Meme Fuel and Pattinson as The Bat, my appetite for Capeshit is harder to find than a yeti in a Central Park Blizzard.

But what really drives the burnout? It's all these Marvel heroes being elevated to "World Saving" status when they shouldn't.

To paraphrase Doctor Serizawa, nature has an order.

Fuck's sake, I talked a bit abt this on Twitch streaming Spider-Man; Spidey is NOT a "World Saver" hero. He's all of NYC including Hell's Kitchen (Daredevil crossover) and Harlem (Luke Cage, Iron Fist).

If ya got trouble in Harlem, Luke Cage got your back.

Hell's Kitchen? Daredevil.

NYC? Spidey.

National or Global trouble? X-Men or Avengers.

Cosmic? Thor, Guardians of The Galaxy, and The Fantastic 4 or Doc Strange.

Ya see where I'm goin' w/ this?!

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE A GLOBAL/GALACTIC/UNIVERSAL/MULTIVERSE THREAT!

Y'all remember how Petey had to fight Vulture wearing nothing but his old homemade costume in Spider-Man: Homecoming? How it felt like he was in very real danger of getting killed without some Stark AI chirping in his ear like our collective memories of Navi in Ocarina of Time? It was a regular dude in robot wings and a literal child with spider powers, and it was exciting!

But for me, the thing that ultimately turned me off from MCU's take on Peter Parker is that he's... boring. Others have made more eloquent arguments about this and one post in particular showed my exact issue with MCU Peter: OG comic Peter Parker from the 60's, the most Melvin-looking dude, has more edge to him than MCU Peter. He has a short temper and would lose his composure both in the suit and out; this dude was ready to throw down with Flash for breaking his glasses in the middle of a field trip!

I remember reading a big hardcover Ultimate Spider-Man book back in high school where Flash wants to talk to Peter, but Peter is angry and won't let him get a word in edgewise. Someone throws a can or something at Spider-Man and he goes "HEY!" and doesn't mince words telling them what's what (and then he insults her hat). There was another bit in the same book where Peter got into an argument with his own teacher, and when told to either just sit down and drop the subject or leave class, Peter up and leaves school to vent about it with Aunt May. I may be misremembering but it definitely involved Kingpin killing a dude on live TV or something ("It's like, you say his name and everyone goes 'shut up!'") and I really liked how Peter would sometimes stutter when talking because it felt real to me. I was in high school and maybe the same age as this Peter, reading this exchange and thinking "YO, PETEY'S GOT BALLS!"

Compared to that, MCU Spider-Man just feels lacking. Like he's too much of an "uwu pwecious bean" and it took, what, however many movies for him to even look like he wants to beat someone to a pulp? PS4 Spider-Man got that feeling right! LET SPIDER-MAN BE A FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN, AND LET HIM GET ANGRY!

Also, MCU, it's fucking Spider-Sense. "Peter Tingle" just makes it sound like he needs to pee.

[female-buckets]

ok that DT and Penny's stories are fckn wild man. and still they got through together after all of that? nuts. now i got mad respect for both of them as a couple. but... who's LJ? Who's Diana exes? I'm sorry if I ask too much, I'm new to WNBA 🥲

LJ is Lauren Jackson. The MVP and GOAT Storm player. Her career was cut short by injury. But if you measure greatness by the height of a player's peak, LJ is the WNBA GOAT. During LJ's peak, the statistical gap between LJ and her competition was the same as Michael Jordan during his peak.

Anyways... yes LJ is Diana Taurasi's ex. Also, LJ has known Penny Taylor since high school. They went to AIS together. They won a legendary WNBL championship together with a team of 17 year olds in 1999. They're Australian national team teammates. They led Australia to one gold and two silvers together from 2004-2008. And Penny, LJ, and Diana were all friends...

...Until something went down between the three of them and there was a decade long falling out since 2010. But actually, these days Penny seems very complimentary and positive when talking about LJ in interviews. Penny was shady about LJ in interviews for like 10 years so the compliments are new. DT is still the same as always. She avoids LJ talk at all times unless she can find a way to be shady. LJ has just responded like a normal person the whole time whenever asked about Penny or DT's careers.

Oh yeah, and Sue has been stuck in the middle of this bullshit the whole time. Sue leaned towards the DT/Penny shadiness for a while. Then in 2016, the Storm retired LJ's jersey number and Sue had her closure and was no longer shady.

So DT is the only person left in the situation still being shady.

And that's the dynamic lol make of it what you will.

[kj-1130]

Nothing For Me

Part 7

Main Masterlist

Part 6|Part 8

     You and MJ’s relationship continued to grow as time went on. 

     As she started her first year of high school, you worked on yourself, wanting to be good for her.

     Overtime, you learned how to process and deal with things better. You focused on yourself and your developing relationship with MJ and needless to say, things started to look up. 

     The ‘present but not really present father’ thing didn’t affect you as much as it did, but it was still there. It was one of the only things you hadn’t fully processed and to be honest, you didn’t think you ever could. 

     Your father is there, and has been aware of presence for almost a decade. And not once has he given you any type of consolation or love like a father should. You would think after Pepper was getting more involved in his life and forcing him to clean up (most of) his act, he would open his eyes and realize that a whole human being was living with him, waiting for him to realize that they were supposed to be relying on him; not an AI built in the comfort of their room. 

     But nope. Absolutely nothing changed. If anything, things got worse. 

     He was away more often, focusing on the Avengers. Or he was with Pepper, the new love of his life. 

     You tried not to linger on the situation often, knowing it would only lead to pain in your chest. So you just stuffed it in the back of your mind, hoping one day that the pain would just lessen all together. 

     About two months ago, you and MJ had decided to make things official after going on your first date. At first you talked about how fast the two of you were going, but Michelle simply said ‘we’ll be u-haul lesbians then.’ That was the end of the conversation. 

     Currently, you and your girlfriend were facetiming. You would’ve made the trek to her house but she was about to study and you both knew that you’d distract her. Plus the two of you were due for some time away from each other considering the fact that you’re at her place almost everyday. 

     “Okay, so I found this recipe the other day and I’m just now remembering it.”

     MJ looks at you confused, “Okay?” 

     You roll your eyes playfully.

     “I wanted to try it with you. After my ban from your place has been lifted.” 

     “It’s not a ban,” she chuckled.

     “Well, it sure as hell feels like one ba-”     “Mr. Stark has arrived with a guest,” M.I.A cut you off. 

     “Who is this guest?” 

     “Secretary of State, Thaddues Ross,” the AI replied, pulling up pictures of the man. 

     “Hey M, I’m gonna call you back.”

     “Yeah, yeah,” she nods, looking a little concerned. “Take all the time you need. Let me know if everything’s okay.”

     The two of you give your goodbyes and you ask M.I.A to pull up the live footage from the conference room.

     “Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an un-payable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives… but while a great a=many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word “vigilantes”, is what you first hear when you start watching. 

     Immediately your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

     “And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asks.

     “How about ‘dangerous’?” he replies. “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

     The secretary activates a screen behind him which begins to play the previous battles the Avengers and SHIELD have fought in. 

     “New York.” 

     He clicks a button, footage of chitauri, shooting guns, and Hulk smashing plays. 

     “Washington D.C”

     A new video appears, showing the insight helicarriers firing at each other with chaos following. 

     “Sokovia.” 

     The frame changes, showcasing the terrified citizens that were on the flying piece of land. 

     “Lagos.” 

     “That’s enough,” Steve interrupts. 

     Ross nods in response and begins his speech again. 

     “For the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

     He places a thick document on the table and slides it across to Wanda. As the team slides the book to each other Ross starts talking. 

     “The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” 

     “The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” the Captain begins. “I feel we’ve done that.”

     “Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” There was a momentary pause as the two men’s eyes met. “If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes… you can bet there’d be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is middle ground.”

     At this point, you’re walking out of your room after transfering the feed to your tablet and making your way to the elevator.

     “So, these are contingencies,” Rhodey states. 

     “Three days from now,” Secretary Ross begins. “The UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over.” 

     Natasha speaks up, “And if we don’t come to a decision you don’t like?”

     “Then you retire.” 

     The elevator stops and you look up seeing the Secretary walk in with someone behind him. You give him a subtle disgusted look before turning your attention back to the security footage.

     As the deathtrap descends, you can feel his eyes lingering on you. 

     “Can I help you?” 

     “You’re a little young to be an intern.” 

     “You’re a little old to be looking at me like that,” you shrug, swiping away from the video on your tablet as you feel him looking over your shoulder. 

     Ross gives an awkward chuckle and furrows his eyebrows. When you reach the bottom floor, he gets ready to step out and places a hand on your shoulder. 

     You look at him like he’s lost his mind. 

     “You seem like a good kid. Be sure to make good choices.” 

     Raising an eyebrow, you refrain from saying what you want to say. You lift your hand and gently take his off of you. 

     “Don’t touch me,” 

     Once he exits, you hear the chatting start back up.

     “Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor,” Rhodes told Sam. “Which is one more than you have. 

     “So let’s say we agree to this thing,” Wilson starts. “How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?”

     “117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you’re just like, ‘No that’s cool. We got it.” 

     “I have an equation,” Vision announces as you get back on the elevator. 

     “Oh this will clear it up,” Sam mutters. 

     “In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.“

     “Toaster oven’s got a point there,” you mumble, stepping back on the metal deathtrap. 

     Steve asks,“Are you saying it’s our fault?”

     “I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict… breeds catastrophe. Oversight… oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.” 

     “Boom,” Rhodey says.                             

     You see Tony lying on the couch, quite relaxed, contradicting the tense atmosphere. 

     “Tony,” Nat starts. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal.”

     “It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve explained. 

     “Boy, you know me so well,” Stark starts, getting up and rubbing the back of his head. “Actually I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache,” he pauses to grab a mug of coffee. “That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

     Tony puts his phone in a basket and taps the screen. An image is projected of a smiling young man. 

     “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia.”

     He pauses for a second as the team soaks in the information.

     “He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.

     “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”

     “Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve rebuttals.

     “Who said we’re giving up?” 

     “We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”

     “I’m sorry. Steve,” Rhodey blurted. “That-that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

      “No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”   

      “That’s good,” Tony starts. “That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.  

     “Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

     “If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s a fact. That won’t be pretty.”

     Wanda finally speaks up, “You’re saying they’ll come for me.”

     “We would protect you,” Vision promised. 

     “Maybe Tony’s right,” the redhead speaks. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off--”

     “Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam interrupts. 

     “I’m just… I’m reading the terrain. We have made… some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back. 

     “Focus up,” Tony says. “I’m sorry, did I just mishear or did you agree with me?”

     “Oh, I want to take it back now.”

     “No, no, no. You can’t retract it. Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay, case-closed--I win.” 

     From what you see, Steve stands to leave abruptly. 

     You then walk out of the elevator, tablet still in hand with the footage up. The captain walks past you just as you turn the corner and spot the team. 

     “Someone’s upset,” you hum. 

     You walk past everyone towards the fridge and grab a water bottle. 

     “Anyway, that was very childish. And kinda stupid.” 

     Inquisitive looks are thrown your way and you hold up the tablet awkwardly as you plop down on a chair. 

     “I was watching you. I kinda do that a lot. It’s not as creepy as it sounds.” 

     You open the bottle and take a sip. 

     “What are you doing down here kid--”

     “Ahhh,” you interrupt. “Don’t call me a kid. I haven’t been a child for years.”

     “Just answer the question,” Tony snaps. 

     “I like to stay informed. No one tells me anything and while you think that these private meetings only affect you, it doesn’t. It affects me too. You may not remember I’m your child but several people do. And that puts me in danger. So yes, I listen to your conversations to make sure it’s nothing I need to worry about.” 

     An awkward silence washes over as you gulp down more water. 

     “Anyway, I was just riding up and down the elevator waiting for you guys to finish. That Ross dude is kinda creepy by the way. But you’re really considering signing that thing?” 

     “Not you too,” your father mutters. 

      You let out a laugh and everyone looks at you strangely. 

      “Is this funny to you?” Rhodey asks. 

      “Yes,” you stop laughing abruptly. “I find it hilarious that this is the same government that was ready to drop a nuke on the city during the Battle of New York not giving a damn about a single civilian that was still in the area. I find it hilarious that this is the same government that lets thousands of children and women of color go missing and not do a thing about it. It’s funny that this is the same government that let HYDRA, Red Room, AIM; all that shit grow right under their nose. It’s funny because this government is the same one that uses taxpayer money for dumb ass projects and unnecessary military funding instead of using it to fund shit that helps the civilians they claim they care so much about. I mean how can you not find this situation amusing?”

     “Look,” Tony attempts. 

     “I’m not finished,” you challenge, looking him dead in the eyes. “This government don’t give a damn about y’all, especially not the three of us,” you say, gesturing to yourself, Sam, and Rhodey. “We’d be booted out of this country before you could even blink if they ever got the chance and you know that.

     “I don’t know why y’all are so adamant on gaining the government’s trust when they don’t give a flying fuck about you or these goddamn civilians. All they care about is power. They don’t care how many civilians come up missing or die in some tragic accident. It doesn’t matter what happens. When they see someone becoming richer or smarter or more powerful than they are, they will do anything to shut that shit down. 

     “I don’t understand how you can’t see that. And maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just me and my experience,” you pause, catching the gaze of every person in the room with hard eyes. You take a deep breath and try to calm down. “Sign it if you want to. Think about how many lives you’ll lose then.”

     You stand from your spot and walk into the open elevator, ready to get to the comfort of your bed. 

-

     It had been two days since the initial meeting and you were currently sitting on Michelle’s bed watching her read. 

     “You’re really pretty,” you muttered out of the blue.

     You saw your girlfriend’s cheeks develop a subtle red tint as she mumbled back a ‘thank you, and continued reading. You groan and gently pull the book out of her hands. 

     “Hey,” she quietly protests. 

     “Please,” you pout, holding your arms out as an invitation.

     MJ fondly rolls her eyes before lowering herself onto you. You hummed contently and squeezed her before planting a kiss on her cheek. 

     She surprised you by turning her head and giving you a lingering kiss. That one kiss soon turned into something more. 

     Michelle gently pushed you onto your back and straddled your hips. Bending down she kissed you once again, her lips gliding with yours. 

     This continued for a few minutes, taking small breaks in between to breathe. You don’t think you could ever get enough of her and hoped that she was feeling similarly.

     You kissed until your jaws hurt. The euphoric feeling still lingered as MJ rested her forehead against yours, trying to catch her breath. 

     “We should do that again sometime,” you mumbled. 

     Your girlfriend nodded in response, giving one more chaste kiss to your lips before dropping to your side. 

     “Tomorrow,” she said after glancing at the clock that read 10:47. 

     “Guess I’m spending the night then.” 

     “I have no problem with that.”

-

     The next day, you were awoken by beeping from your phone. Once you were fully aware of your surroundings you picked up the device and read the notifications that M.I.A sent through. Scanning through them, you sat up with urgency and played the video. 

     “A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Bares, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

     Carefully removing Michelle’s arm from around your waist, you stand up and move to the corner of the room. You press the contact and hold the phone up to your ear. 

      “Nat what the fuck is going on?”

     You hear the woman sigh on the other side of the phone.     “Look, just… stay wherever you are.”

     “Yeah, okay, whatever. I want answers, Nat.”

     “(Y/n),” she says firmly. “Calm down and go back to whatever you were doing. Right now, this does not concern you and I would like it to stay that way. Do you understand me?”

     There was some silence, before you let out a forced chuckle. 

     “Okay, whatever. Bye.”

     “(Y/n) c’mo--”

     You disconnected the call and gently tossed the phone onto MJ’s desk.     “You sound stressed.” 

     Turning around to face the bed, you see Michelle sat up and leaning against the headboard. You nod slowly and crawl your way up towards her. 

     “I am.”

     You feel her hand take hold of your clenched ones and she rubs them, causing you to relax slightly. 

     “There was a um, bombing at the--the um… signing thing. And no one wants to tell me what’s going on, so,” you end the sentence, shrugging. 

     MJ’s head drops onto your shoulder and you let her cuddle close. 

     “They told me to stay where I was. So hopefully we can get something good out of that.” 

     There was no response and you thought she had fallen back asleep, but you were proven wrong when your girlfriend started getting up. 

     “C’mon,” she instructed, holding her hand out when she saw the look of confusion on your face. 

     Taking her hand, the two of you made your way to the kitchen. 

     She turned around and grabbed your shoulders. 

     “We are going to make some breakfast… or lunch whatever. And then we are going to binge watch until we can binge watch no longer. Alright?”

     You nod your head, chuckling and then got to work. 

-

     It had been days since you last heard from anyone. No updates from Natasha. M.I.A even told you there hasn’t even been a great deal of movement in the compound. Today you decided you would head back. 

     When you arrived it was quiet. As you walked down the halls you heard distant chatter and followed it. 

     Turning the corner, you were surprised at what you saw. 

     “What the hell happened?”

     The two men turned to look your way, but you were given no answers. 

     Tony had bruises on his face and he looked more tense than usual. Rhodey had some sort of tech on his legs. 

     “You fought them. You fought them all, didn’t you?” 

     Both men looked away and avoided your gaze. 

     “You didn’t even listen to what I said. This is what the government does. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t even fucking listen,” you ranted, your voice slightly raising.

     “Us breaking apart wasn’t the government. Most of this is on some guy th--”

     “Well the government allowed it to happen so I’d say it is their fault!” 

     You turned to your father with pleading eyes. 

     “Where are they, Tony?”

     “Kid, they’re criminals now, I don’t--”

     “Stop calling me that! I’m--I’m not some kid. I’m not your kid,” you let out a frustrated breath. “You--you couldn’t talk it out? Like mature adults? You just had to go assert your dominance somewhere--in what? An--an airport? Some vacant lot? You just had to fight. Do you not know how to communicate?” 

     You looked at the two men, shook your head, and brushed past them. 

     Just when things were alright.

-

     “(Y/n)?” 

     “What M.I.A?”

     You were currently laying in your bed trying to control the tears that were begging to fall from your eyes due to the amount of overwhelming shit you had been hit with. You talked with MJ for a little while and while it helped a bit, you honestly were still feeling like… well shit.

     “There’s a package for you.” 

     Furrowing your eyebrows, you head down to where the mail is usually placed, get the package with your name on it, and head back to your room. 

     Grabbing a pair of scissors, you cut the tape and open the box. Inside was a letter and a phone. 

     Hey sweetheart.

     It was Natasha’s handwriting.

     I’m sorry. I really am. We all are. I wish things wouldn’t have ended this way, but they did and we can’t really do anything about it now. 

     I listened to what you said. I listened and I tried my best to understand. I don’t think I ever wanted to sign the accords in the first place. The only reason I did so was so that we could stay together. So that I could stay with you. This team is the only family I’ve had in a long time. The fact that that stack of papers could end that scared me. 

     I just kept trying to convince myself that signing the Accords was the right thing to do; anything to keep this team together. Anything to keep everything from falling apart. 

     But the more I thought about it, I realized. You were right. Everything you said. This government doesn’t care. And if the government doesn’t care like they’re supposed to then we need to. People need the government, but they don’t have it. They do have us though. And they always will. 

     I love you. I didn’t say it enough and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get to tell you that again. You are so precious to me and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. If you ever need anything, you can always give me a call. 

     You wiped your eyes and gently picked up the phone. You held it in your hands for a moment before setting it down. You folded the letter back up neatly and placed both items in the top drawer of your nightstand. 

     You laid back down on your bed with less tears on your face. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

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