#man today is just my 'be active on tumblr day' isn't it

[freddy-owo]

Very tempted to make a daily sakito (akisaki) blog...

[syn4k]

if tumblr existed in empires s1 then the dashboard would look a little bit like this i think

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

MY CAT JUST RAN OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SANDSTORM IM

🌿 theres-no-place-like-gnome Follow

oh no are they okay?? i don't know how serious sandstorms are but maybe you could go after them?

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

Sand blowing past you at upwards of 75kmh. It's also really hot sand. It's been known to literally strip the flesh off of bones wait post cancelled my cat just walked back in she's fine guys

9 notes

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

visiting the Mythlands today and me and my family found a neat lil natural floating island while hiking

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

to the people in my notes going "what the fuck": have y'all never heard of physics?

🥀 remorse-is-remorse-of-course Follow

OP WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WHERE THIS IS NORMAL

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

western mezalea?? lol

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

well that explains a lot.

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

Can I Help You

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

ain't emperor joel dating a fish

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

yeah, they're married. Isn't Emperor Joey a demonfucker????

#dude why are the notes arguing over the ethics of being ruled by a demon 😭 what the fuck #op im so sorry

11,798 notes

🌸 prismarined Follow

...i'm in this class thats being taught by the headmaster today and she smells like weed. i'm not gonna say anything but like. what

🦦 i-like-otters

yeah the academy's just like that. as long as she's not like, actively dying or anything she's probably fine??? idk o7

#reblog

2 notes

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

I JUST GOT BACK FROM A BUSINESS TRIP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE COPPER KING'S GONE

🐟 kelpieselkie Follow

I DONT KNOW I DONT LIVE THERE BUT apparently nobody expected it either?? like some people are saying it was the Dragon Fight that did it (i know Emperor Joey came out with statements that Emperor Riffs actually helped kill the dragon and unleash the demon but its been two days and we all know that he hates that guy so idk) but nobody actually knows anything. it's crazy bro

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

my mom said the royal housekeepers found a note from him alongside like everything he owned but they're not saying what's on the note yet. holy shit

237 notes

🐠 fishfucker997

this will definitely have an impact on the local trout population

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

the Guardian of the Thirteenth Empire just died and you're worried about fish???? be for real omg

🐠 fishfucker997

have you people never heard of references in your life

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

why are you interacting with me i literally have "codlanders dni" in my bio

🐠 fishfucker997

my brother in cod you literally reblogged this from me??

🐠 fishfucker997

they blocked me lmao

#how is this post only 2 days old

197,233 notes

🐪 camel Follow

she dragon fight on my copper king til i disappear

elvfish-deactivated-20210503

who the hell let a camel onto this site lol

🐪 camel Follow

You will die at age 87 with nobody to mourn you and no stars still shining to watch you go.

#911 i just witnessed a murder

87,546 notes

🌻 helantheia

anyone know who made emperor pearl's dress? it's really pretty :0

0 notes

📷 desertphotography

West of the River of Plenty, Pixandria

2,307 notes

[leezlelatch]

There seems to be some discourse lately about content, the kind of content, and the community as a whole. Now, the last thing I want to do is stir up anything, but I had some thoughts that I'd like to type out, and I appreciate whomever decides to read it.

The purpose of this band is to make us happy. You've heard it time and time again, as long as we go home at the end of that show feeling just a little better, then TF is satisfied. And it seems like lately that happiness is hard to achieve here, on twitter, or wherever else one is active.

On Headcanon

Were you sitting at work today? Home? And suddenly that thought popped into your head, a little scene playing out about Copia, or Terzo, or Secondo, or Primo. A thought that filled you with excitement, butterflies dancing in your belly, which had you smiling because yes, in the world that makes you happy, that is what they are like. That is what they do. That is what they say. It's an amazing thing and it's good and okay, and you should be excited about it. Because you just added another chapter to the amazing story in your head. And you decide to post about it, but...someone left you an anon. Someone left you a comment. Someone vague posted. And it hurt.

This is happening far too often across tumblr, and it needs to come to a close. I understand that we all have vastly different ideas of who the Papas are and how the Ministry works, but that does not give a single one of you an excuse to say anything untoward or foul to anyone else on this platform. And this isn't talking about any particular group because more often than not, posts like this are used to justify the actions of others. You do not have permission to use this to further your agenda. Be kind. Choose to ignore that fic. Choose to stay off that person's blog. Stop making posts at the expense of others just because you don't like a particular aspect of their world.

I promise you'll still be able to sleep at night.

On F! Reader and x Reader Fic

I have seen many posts since I joined tumblr to write for the Ghost fandom that express a dislike toward reader fics, and in particular f! reader fics. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'd like to just reflect on my own thoughts on the matter, and once again, I appreciate the time taken to read and perhaps understand where I'm coming from, and know that it is a place of care.

I am a woman. When I write fic, I am writing it to satisfy my own little world in my head. So naturally, I am going to make the reader female, because the universal you is not only the friends I share it with or those kind enough to read, but the you is me. Every sweet word whispered, or gentle touch from a Papa is something I wish would happen to me.

I do not have the right to invade someone else's perspective. I do not understand what it is to be a gay man. I do not understand what a trans person experiences every day, and therefore, I do not feel like it is my place to write these perspectives in an x reader fic, or more so than that, in smut. And otherwise, I'm just not comfortable in doing so. I know my experience, and isn't the first step of writing, writing what you know?

I want there to be inclusivity in writing, but that doesn't start with attacking other authors for writing from their own perspective. It doesn't start with making hostile posts about reader fics, because what's the outcome? You just end up with some people very hurt and unwilling to post their stories because they think it's unwanted.

If you feel comfortable exploring these topics, talk to your mutuals. Say hey, what can I do to gain a better understanding of the content that I'm writing? What can I do to ensure that I'm not fetishizing due to my lack of knowledge? Be a community, and help each other out.

On Notes and Reblogs

A note is not the value of your writing. Whether you receive just a few or hundreds, you have impacted someone. Someone loved your story. Someone is thinking about your story all day. Someone was able to make it through because that one thing line you wrote spoke volumes to them.

We put so much of our energy into worrying about notes that the reason we started writing in the first place is lost. It becomes a chore. There are a hundred WIPs sitting in our folders because it becomes so goddamn painful just to work on one.

No one owes you a reblog. No one owes you a like. And even though it's nice, and it's gratifying to see nice comments on something you worked hard on, notes cannot be used as a currency between followers or mutuals. It just becomes a poison. Your entire tumblr experience is going to be marred by the constant worry that you aren't good enough just based on a number.

Learn to appreciate the ones who do read. Allow your story to make you feel good because there it is! That thing you've been thinking about. It's written down. You brought it to life. That is far more valuable than a tumblr note.

If you've reached this point, thank you. Everything you're feeling is good, and okay, and we're gonna get through. Because even now? When it feels like things are more hostile than happy? You still have Ghost. And you still have everything.

[lcngdays]

Positivity anon here! Could I ask you to shout out to your five fave blogs? Just to make someone smile today and let them know you love their blog! Maybe even say a little about why!

Hello Beloved Positivity Anon! Sorry for the late reply, I don't get much done during the week, but the weekend is where I thrive! Now, it's hard to pick JUST FIVE FAVES. So I may have included a few more <3

@plcasantnights // While Corpse isn't active on tumblr anymore, he's still my absolute best friend ever. I love him with my whole heart and we've written countless stories together, we've met irl multiple times, and I just. Don't have enough good to say about this man. An incredible writer, a patient and understanding person, and someone I trust with my whole, authentic self. Long days and pleasant nights, bestie. <3

@cxldblxxded / @yxkanna / @striigon // MOOP!!! A very cool writer with a very keen sense of character creation. I love reading about their silly little guys and I love talking with them ooc! I feel like I can throw any must at them from my EXTENSIVE roster and they're down for it, no matter how silly it is!

@handgiven // WHAT IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT KAI!!!!! emmanuel is SO sweet and SO precious and I hold him so dear in my heart. One of the few characters that can put up with my more annoying characters with a smile on his face, the way Kai is able to write such a beautiful, well thought out angel is incredible. I love reading the eloquence of Emmanuel and love seeing everything Kai puts on the dash

@fangmother // HI HUNTER HI HUNTER!!!! hunter is so fucking cool you guys. they have the coolest posts both ic and ooc and i light up each time they come on the dash with anything new. rainer is so cringefail girlboss and i don't care how many times hunter tells me i'm wrong to love her, i'm still GOING TO!!!

@freekzout / @hungryyheart // VIV MAKES ME NOSTALGIC FOR THE NINTIES AND I WAS BORN IN 1997 SO THAT'S WILD!!! everything about the worlds that Viv has created makes me insane. be it cute little vampiis or straight up government coverups viv is SO creative and so nice ooc! puts up with me even though i forget to answer dms a million percent of the time!! ALSO PUTS UP WITH ANGEL SO A HUGE PLUS RIGHT THERE

@burdenedwithfaith // every day it makes me insane that Prince isn't more popular on tumblr. i don't know anything about the series their character is from and yet and YET I am so so so INVESTED with him! I'm so invested with each little character moment and arc and I love writing with them to see where they're going to take it and take John!! even if you don't know the game their muse is from I highly encourage you to check them out because they're EPIC

@soulmissed // I haven't written a lot with Ruben (YET) but his character is SO well written. Ruben also always pops into my dms when I make a sad/venty post and checks on me and he has no idea how MUCH i appreciate that so i'm saying it here. thank you <3

@mr-pulvis // Ruth. Oh Ruth!!!!!! Ruth has known me since the beginning. Since I STARTED on tumblr! They have followed me through countless blogs, countless cringe, countless silliness and revamping and bad writing. I love Miles to death, I've always loved Miles, but Ruth doesn't get enough credit (from me at least!) for how cool and nice they are and how good of a writer they are. here's to many MORE years of knowing each other!!!

@pistolsister + many more blogs in their pinned! // Even though we've followed each other for a long time, we've only JUST started writing together. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FULLY RESPONDED TO ANYTHING YET I DON'T THINK IT'S ALL IN THE QUEUE! but mille is very cool, very easy to bounce ideas off of and i love each and every one of their characters. SO well thought out, SO easy to write against and just a sweet person over all!

@wehavefoundthestars // EVE!!!! I LOVE OUR SLOWBURN BOYS!!!! But I also love writing with them with ANY of my characters! we're always in each other's dms after each response excitedly chatting away! a very fun person to write with and be around!

@lovepurposed // hi orion :3 orion and I are also a duo who have known each other for a long while. not as long as some of the people on this list, but we've always seemed to find each other on tumblr some way and some how, despite moving blogs or just falling out of certain fandoms. orion is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and I'm looking forward to writing with orion for a long, long time to come.

@amischiefofmuses // NEVER DID I EVER EXPECT TO FIND SOMEONE IN SO MANY OF THE SAME FANDOMS AS ME. homestuck, invader zim, undertale, hazbin, you NAME it we have it in common. magpie is SO fun to write with, and i think they're just RLLY COOL NGL AND SUCH A GOOD WRITER

@spokewar // MARCI!!!!! so good at writing it makes me insane that they even write WITH me. i followed them originally with sass and their sam winchester but things just blossomed from there into an epic scifi adventure with a little alien prince and obi-wan (AND I HAVENT EVEN SEEN STAR WARS LMAO) marci is super cool and super fun to be around and is a very comforting presence when i get worried about wanting to do something new!

@dumbthink // KC i have followed all over tumblr. i love writing with them, i love all the stories they create, i LOVE all their silly little characters and how well they can analyze LITERALLY ANYTHING!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS!!!!!

@null-siren / @honeyhogger / @notsohumerusnow / @badmusejail : THE UNDERTALE CREW!!!!! I write with them mostly on my undertale rp blog but i wanted to give all of them a HUGE SHOUT OUT for being so cool and friendly and fun to write with, even though i'm VERY SLOW over on my undertale blog!!!

@bittcnneck / @r-adio / @bloodsalted / @velvetineblue / @swervdcity / @rcjoice / @deceivesthem / @starbeambully / @ourcwnside / @beastbitten / @heaven-said / @thehazbins / @vitalphenomena / @captivates / @ruinedmyself / @miidnighters / @lcve0n / @hellfrozen / + ALL MY LOVELY MUTUAL!!!! // I LOVE ALL MY MUTUAL I LOVE ALL MY WRITING FRIENDS AND I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL A HUGE HUG AND AWWWWAAA !!!! i could never name everyone unfortunately, but everyone here is a great writer and friend and i'm happy to be hanging out with all of them even if we've only JUST started talking or writing together!!!

[rainbowsky]

hi rainbowsky, love your blog and your very articulate and sane view of things. It’s been very calming and comforting when there’s so much noise (and hate) in the world. So, thank you!

Curious your take on wyb wearing a bandana hanging from his left belt hook, at the Shu Uemura event today. And not a designer bandana, like the Chanel one he had on his backpack on recent trip to Japan.

I immediately thought of 1970s San Francisco gay culture, men would signal their orientation by hanging them from left side, right side, back pocket (L/R). Not thinking too much about color significance since red is Shu Uemura’s brand color. I don’t know anything about the new ad campaign he’s doing with them, but 1970 and 1971 were on 2 posters behind where he was seated.

It just flashed on me so I’d thought I’d ask. 🧐 🤡

Hi Hellopedey! Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

Inquiring minds want to know: is DD trying to signal to the world that he wants to stick his fist up their ass for Shu Uemura?

You aren't the only person to take note of this. I've seen people mentioning hanky code in the tags of reblogs of my post of the photos from that event, and I've seen people talking about it on Twitter, too. It's become quite a topic since the event.

This is a question that has come up a few times in the past, but alas - it's often impossible to find old posts on Tumblr, so rather than being able to point to my previous post about it I will just re-answer.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Long story short: I don't believe for one hot second that DD is using hanky code. There are a lot of reasons I feel this way, and I'll get to that in a minute, but the number one thing I want to bring home for people is that:

Everyone is allowed to wear hankies without assumptions being made about their sexual activity/preferences.

Including you, Hellopedey, and every other reader. Maybe that's not as much of a relief to some readers as it would be to those who happen to be queer and heavily sexualized by others, but it should take a load off some minds. 😅

You know that old saying, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar*?" Well, sometimes a hanky is just a hanky. I'd go so far as to say that a hanky is almost always just a hanky. Even if worn by a gay man.

*Incorrectly attributed to Freud, the origin of that quote is actually unknown.

Here are just a few reasons it's obvious to me DD isn't signalling (and I can't believe I have to say this, because it seems obvious to me):

Location, location, location. Please remember that hanky code is used when people are looking for sex. DD is at a brand event. He's not looking for sex.

His outfit is likely put together by a stylist, and that stylist is unlikely to be trying to hook him up with people for sex.

Hanky code isn't much of a Thing with young people these days. There's no need for it, since now all anyone needs to do to hook up with someone based on preferences is tick off a few boxes on Grindr or other apps (even in China).

Hanky code is pretty Western-centric. It's unclear whether it's even used in China.

As was discussed in the notes, bandanas are popular in hip hop fashion and in other fashion styles DD often wears.

Hankies are a very widely/wildly popular fashion accessory worn by people from all walks of life. Both GG and DD have worn hankies a lot, including for their fabulous Happy Camp dance, and in this context, it really is just a fashion accessory.

I'm going to say this as gently as possible, because I get it that people are just being clueless and oblivious, and that they don't intend to offend, but it really tweaks something in me as a gay person that so many fans are casually willing to make the assumption that DD is sexually signalling at work.

This goes back to the whole oversexualization in the fandom thing that I often lament.

I think fans - especially turtles - get so used to scrutinizing everything for signs and signals of GG and DD's sexual and romantic proclivities that common sense and GGDD's basic humanity are often overlooked. Fans could also stand to do a bit more to reflect on how their behavior and attitudes might (unintentionally) come across as offensive and homophobic* to queer people.

*Not saying this is where you were coming from, Hellopedey, but I hope all fans will reflect on it.

Please read this post for more info on that, because it's important.

PS] For those looking for something salacious about GG and DD, how about checking out the lyrics for the song they danced together to on Happy Camp? That's a pretty racy song for a couple of 'straight' guys to be dancing together to. 😅

[komorebi-rabbit]

Hey you!

I just came from your Sasori Roleplay account. I wasn't sure if you were active there anymore, so I hopped on over here via your pinned post.

You seem like a talented and fun person to roleplay with, so I thought why not ask?

I've read your rules and some of the older blogs and they really resonated with me.

I used to roleplay Itachi on Amino like you used to play/still play(?) Sasori on here. Those in depth roleplays that just make my heart sing. And also the RPs that are a pain to find because...well...novella takes work. And building a bond with a character who isn't naturally friendly takes even more time.

Still those have got to be the most fun times I can remember from my teens. And I misss them...

It was quite challenging to find people who share similar views on roleplaying and like the same fandom. So I must have given up sometime back. And when I read your blog today, I was instantly like "Oh my god this is exactly what I was looking for" (except like 6 years passed since I last attempted that xD)

So I wanted to pop in and say "Hi, I love your blog already!" but that didn't quite suffice so here we are xD.

It's kinda funny because after all this time not roleplaying, I found myself on tumblr, figured why not make a Sasori RP account (there are many others for the Naruto characters) to have some fun and be nostalgic? But...there was still a little 'eh' that was missing. And I found it in your blog.

I adore it, when people just get their characters and portray them correctly. And I've been aching to find more people like this. I remember it being quite the challenge in the past, back in my Itachi days, so it was like a gift to find your account!

Anyways, I am trailing off-

I'd love to RP with you sometime. Or...to just chat and reminisce about days past, even if I just discovered you today. I just know I would have loved to have you in my Akatsuki geoup back in 2015.

I hope you have a lovely day!

This is the SWEETEST message, oh my lord, thank you so much! You have no idea how happy this made me and how much I needed this little spark of positivity in my life right now!

I unfortunately no longer RP on tumblr due to some incidents that have made me wary over the years. I also no longer RP Sasori, but I do still RP in the Naruto fandom, just on Discord with friends that I am comfortable with. Novella does take work! But man, if it isn't worth the effort! I'm so glad people are still RPing and taking up Sasori. He absolutely deserves that love! Unfortunately, I did most of my tumblr RP back when the manga was still ongoing and tumblr was at its peak so there was a LOT more interaction then than I see these days. I wish it could go back to being that way! I miss a lot of the friends I made back then! (But also I'm still friends with some of them 10 years later, it's fantastic. You really form some lasting bonds). Even back then, however, there were only ever a couple of Sasori accounts (like... maybe 3, not including myself? And most were not active).

I'm mostly a Shisui RPer these days, though I do write for Kakashi, Tobirama, Kisame, and Izuna, too! Like I said, though, I only RP with those I'm super comfortable with, but if you want, I have plenty of recs for you! I'm also KomorebiRabbit on AO3 and @komorebirabbitwrites. My Sasori is actually heavily based on characterization from @renaerys and her works from back then (such as Zero Hour) and she is still writing FANTASTIC Sasori works to this day. I mean absolutely unbelievable, haunting, you will never get it out of your head type fics. Her characterization is unparalleled and also she's just an awesome person in general! I also mod @sasoriweek which will happen again in November of this year!

Also, if you like dark, horror-heavy Sasori, Athelise on AO3 is absolutely amazing! She writes such an interesting Sasori and some phenomenal smut, I definitely recommend her!

[tempesthorne]

FINALLY, I AM ABLE TO POST MY JOJI RPF ON Archive of Our Own (AO3):

Since I am new to this platform, I didn’t realize that AO3 requires an invitation, which took me a week to obtain.

Here are ways to check out my story, Fleeting Thin Places (Joji 2024)

Archive of Our Own (AO3):

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58466338/chapters/148934908

Wattpad:

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/374457677-fleeting-thin-places-joji-2024

I started writing again because of George 'Joji' Miller. While he may be my muse, I firmly believe in the saying 'Never meet your heroes.' I remind myself often that he, like other people and celebrities, is merely an inspiration. At the end of the day, it’s best to remain ignorant of the things we don’t truly have the right to know. Otherwise, you'll go nuts.

I wrote this story for Joji fans today, particularly those who came in after his Filthy Frank era and aren’t familiar with Pink Guy or Frank. It’s especially for those around his age (he will be 31 this September 2024; correct me if I’m wrong)

BRIEF SUMMARY OF FLEETING THIN PLACES:

"I wanna make people sad and horny, you know what I mean?" - George "Joji" Miller -- My story might make you sad and perhaps even a little bit horny, because life is nothing more than a series of fleeting moments—an endless transaction of beautiful conflicts, isn't it?

__

fleeting thin places looks at how our choices shape our lives and create different paths we can't all explore. It’s about the struggle to make a relationship work despite different priorities and life goals. While LOOSELY inspired by Joji (this does not represent him in reality), the focus is on two young people in love, dealing with timing and priorities.

The narrative reflects the human experience of giving up something we love for something else, showing the bittersweet side of life’s decisions. The fig tree symbolizes wanting more but knowing we can’t have everything. The story ultimately explores the sacrifices we make, similar to George's choice between a private life and fame

CLARIFICATION ON INSPIRATION AND CHARACTER REPRESENTATION:

I've mentioned this several times throughout my story, usually in the end credits of almost every chapter, but Fleeting Thin Places is loosely inspired by George Miller, specifically the public persona he portrays, his branding as an artist, and his work in the entertainment industry. His love interest, Victoria, is a fictional character, so there's no need to worry about her.

George Milner (yes, Milner in my RPF; I have basically tweaked most facts out there) is a fictional character that is loosely inspired by George Joji Miller, but he’s not meant to be the real person. For me, characters in RPFs are not the actual individuals—they’re inspired by their public personas. Timelines may change, and some harmless facts may be tweaked for their protection. Please keep this HUGE difference in mind.

Ultimately, I wrote this story because Joji inspired me to pursue the things I love.

Here’s a quote from the man himself:

“It was the only and biggest changing point,” says Miller. “Immediately after that, my whole mentality changed. I stopped touching social media. I only cared about what I cared about. Life is short.”

(The Joker, Joji, Notion Online) Miller, G. (2024). The Joker, Joji. https://notion.online/the-joker-joji/

And I wholeheartedly agree. Life is short, so since Joji became an inspiration for me, I decided to write again. I made him my muse with no intention of offending him through this story.

Finally,

I’ve decided to take a break from Tumblr for a while, so this will be my last post here for the time being, and I might not be active for a while. However, if you'd like to chat, have questions or feedback, or just want to say hi or discuss how insanely of a daddy Joji is (Jk!), feel free to email me at:

  tempesthorne24@gmail.com

[sapphire-weapon]

I'm the anon that asked about the backstory before and I can't believe the mafia thing is in the main section if the wikia page like it is canon, but it's like, the only one in there. I knew it wasn't canon because I saw it mentioned before but people really act like it's some well established thing and not something from an ad. I guess it's only good for pictures at this point. x.x

real talk if I didn't have a full-time job, I'd try to be diligent about keeping the wiki clean. it's been eight years since the circumcision incident. it's time for old guard to come back -- especially RE old guard, since we have so, so many new members of the fandom.

but I just don't have the time, man -- and, probably, neither does anyone else. because we're all in our 30s and 40s now and just can't dedicate ourselves to that kind of stuff anymore.

and that just sucks. it sucks for you new folks so fucking bad. it's not fair to you, and you all deserve a better fandom experience.

all I can do is keep screaming into the tumblr void and keep hoping that I can start attracting eyeballs to this blog somehow.

I want you guys to be able to enjoy RE in a way that my generation never got a chance to. we were always arguing over canon back in the day, because so little of it was clear, and new shit was coming out all the time, and it was so hard to keep up.

RE isn't that series anymore. we get a new game every few years and maybe a CGI movie and that's it. it's so easy to keep track of the canon these days, and it really is such a fucking bummer that there's people in the fandom actively trying to make it harder for you.

it's a very easy formula these days to understand this canon:

numbered game entries are the most canon. numbered game entries will always have the final say. period.

spinoff games starring the recurring cast* (Revelations, Code Veronica, etc) are the second highest tier canon.

CGI movies starring the main cast are the third highest tier canon.

spinoff games not starring the main cast (Outbreak, Dead Aim, etc) are the fourth highest tier canon.

anything else should be ignored.

*spinoff games that have a story, that is. things like The Mercenaries 3D and RE:Verse clearly don't count and are there for fun gameplay purposes only.

in an instance where things on the same tier contradict each other, the most recent installment wins out.

so, Sherry's age in RE2 is 10 because RE6 said so -- even though OG RE2's manual had her age listed as 12. her age of 10 years was then also reaffirmed in RE2make. so she was 10.

and Gaiden's not canon, despite it starring Leon and Barry, because RE4, RE6, and Revelations 2 do not acknowledge it as such.

it is very easy to follow this canon if you follow that recipe. please don't let bad faith actors lead you astray.

and please send people over here, if you can. despite the fact that I spent like 16 hours today raging out over the whole Adam Benford thing, I will still always be open for questions if anyone isn't sure if a thing they heard about is actually a thing or not. I will always cite my sources and explain why a thing is or is not canon if I need to, and I will even provide screencaps if I can. the wiki will not do this. because the wiki is being written by assholes.

also don't forget that I have an essential canon list already typed up and ready to be handed out. please use it as a resource. please.

[quinloki]

What have you wrote

As of Today I have three completed Multi-fic chapters posted to Tumblr, so I'm going to do a What Have You Wrote and What Are you Writing Combo Post.

Somehow there' like 100 of you following me, and maybe this post will help. (I do have a pinned Master Post, but this is gonna go beyond that a little).

This is also a way for me to vent, and you'll see why in a minute.

Anyway - This is gonna get long, so

Posted to Tumblr Items: (these are ALL x Reader/reader insert fics)

A Light Touch - x Eustass - Modern AU (Part of the Grandline Metropolis Series) - a regular paper pusher, you're pushed out into an intersection by a drunk driver and involuntarily meet Eustass Kid. You lose your hand, and gain new friends, new headaches, and new skills. (Part 1 of a series).

Some Direction - x Roronoa - Modern AU - The population is declining, so the World Government decided to step in and arrange marriage for most of its citizens. Lucky you, plucky little librarian, you've been paired with Roronoa Zoro. Good thing for you he's the protective type, because old childhood tragedies are trying to rear their ugly heads again.

Family Ties - x Doflamingo - Modern AU - Mafia style - You're the unofficially adopted daughter of Edward Newgate, and besties with the local clinic doctor. One day you find an injured man in an alleyway and decide to help him out. Dodging people who are trying to kill him, you manage a successful rescue, now if only you could stay out of Trouble >.>

Not On Tumblr Yet, but Done!

Quicksand - x Crocodile - Modern AU (Part of the Grandline Metropolis Series) - Secretary to Buggy the Clown, District boss to the Rain Dinners Casino in the West Blue district, you got over your crush of the CEO ages ago. Recently you've been trying to date via a dating site, and soon you'll meet your match face to face!

Thrice Prophesized - x Roronoa - Modern AU (Part of the Grandline Metropolis Series) - Your first memory was of being chase by marines and practically blasted out of the sky. You wake up after being yanked from the water by a boy made of rubber, but your memories are shaky at best. All you know for sure is, you prophesized the fall of the ruling class, so maybe pirates are the best allies.

Not on tumblr Yet, and not done yet! (all links lead to Wattpad where all my Wips are)

Family Practice - x Law - Set in the same AU as Family Ties, this story dives into a What If? - What if the reader had become more than Besties with Law? Same Reader Same AU - just... an AU of the AU xD 10 chapters

Souled Out - x Eustass - Someone's stolen your soul, and you want it back. You haven't aged in 25 years, and for the last decade you've been studying how to summon demons. Now's the day to see if it's paid off, and if your summoned help can actually help you. 3 Chapters

Unseen - x Killer - set in canon universe with non-canon events. I wanted to write a book where Killer gets smooches, and that's what this is. It kind of got away with me, and I think I have a LOT of chapters ahead of me. 13 chapters

Isn't Enough - x Marco - set in canon universe with canon events. Reader is a doctor on the Moby, and a crew mate of Marco's. But that just Isn't Enough. 5 Chapters

Whew.

Booked, Honeysuckle Red, and Heart of Gold only have two chapters a piece so far. Royal Pains is a bit stalled out, but I haven't given up on it.

None of this is counting two books of one-shots, and the following pending titles I don't even have on active rotation:

A Light Touch 2 - Emperors Bara-teased Family Ties 2 - Gilded Lily Honeysuckle Gold Quicksand 2 - Warlords An Untitled Shanks Mafia AU Song Bird

Look, I guess, what I'm saying is, if you followed me for my writing, I have a lot planned. Unless life punches me in the face, I update 3-5 times a week. I have a day job, and I play some D&D, but otherwise I write.

I even started another title called Mafia Inked - JUST TODAY - and I didn't plan it. I have no idea where it's going to go or anything. But that's what the brain does. I got the idea, meant to write some notes, wrote a first chapter.

ANYWAY - you don't have to go to Wattpad or Ao3 if you don't want (I'm Quinloki on both), everything will get here eventually. Wattpad's just kind of my workspace. So things post there unedited.

Hey hey, if you do something like this, tag me! I want to see what my peeps are working on <;3

[poolpartymusic]

been a while, forgot old e-mail

I think the last blog I made was 'dutchkidhuffingballons.tumblr.com', the name inspired by the Sam Fender song. I'm pretty sure I stopped writing when I got into my first relationship.

Turns out a relationship(or at leas this one) made me vent to an actual human and turn away from my diary-type blogs for once. Now, three years down the line, I'm still dating this beautiful man. I'm no longer in the honeymoon phase (although at times it does feel like I'm right back in it again), and for the past year/year and a half I've been trying to find my groove back.

It's different. Living and trying to do your own thing while simultaneously spending so much time with such a sweet man. It's easy to let time fly by and forget about my old hobbies. I don't draw as much anymore, I don't see as many friends any more. I also think that's just part of growing up, but I do want to find myself back still.

It's so much easier to journal through my computer than it is writing in my diary, which actually is quite a shame. I don't know why, but words come to me much easier like this.

Anyway, it's been a while. I forgot my e-mail to my old tumblr account. Decided I might as well make my tenth-thousandth blog.

I think I just want to journal about what changes I go through as a person, what thoughts I have and what struggles I must combat. Maybe this will be the last post I ever post on here. Who knows...

Today is the 17th of October 2023. I'm 23. I live in Utrecht, across from my boyfriend in the same apartment complex. Summer is officially over, it's pretty chilly out but today at least the sky is bright blue.

I'm in my third year at college, meaning I'm following a minor ICT at HU. Pro: It's only a 5 minute walk to school, and I only have in-person classes two days a week. I've learned quite some programming in Python and I think I'm pretty okay at it. Con: The business part of the minor is the main part, and I tend to find it a little less interesting. I don't feel very motivated for it.

I've realized that now, for maybe the first time ever, I don't really have a solid friend group anymore. Of course I have loose friends that I feel close to, but a month or two ago I stepped out of my High School friend group because it was no longer a fulfilling friendship for me. They never really reached out to me and I tried to see them whenever I was in my home town, but it was never that meaningful. I do miss it, but I do think it's good I put some distance between us.

My college friends from my film studies don't feel as close to me as they once did. Every time we hang out, they talk about their work and business related things. Interesting, but it does put some distance between us. I miss them, but most of them are always busy. I guess I feel like they don't really have time for me. And I don't blame them, because I haven't been the most active friend to them either.

I miss having a solid friend group...

Okay, well. I think that's good for now. If anyone other than myself ever comes across this blog (which I doubt): hello, welcome. Feel free to read my diary. I'll try to stay anonymous and I'll appreciate it if you'll let me. From experience I know that this isn't going to be that interesting to myself in a few years, let alone for someone who doesn't even know me. But hey, I hope you're okay.

[gaykarstaagforever]

Mondelez International, formerly Kraft Foods, is a $40 billion US-based processed food conglomerate, that has spent the last 20 years doing hostile takeovers of as many snack food and candy companies as it can, I guess because we absolutely do not give a shit about monopolies anymore, HEY, WHY DO ALL THESE PACKS OF COOKIES COST $18 AND TASTE LIKE SHIT??

At any rate, this corporate behemoth apparently decided that TikTok is the new Tumblr circa 2012, in that if they act totally "cray-cray" and "not your MOM'S advertising," the hip young Baby Gronks will buy their "legally food" cookie-type product.

So they paid some truly awful people to make the equivalent of 20 year old Adult Swim videos about Nutter Butter, a peanut butter-flavored cookie you may have heard of but probably never ate, because there are Reese's (which they tried to forcibly buy in 2016, but were driven off. You'll get 'em next time, boys).

Why anyone would care what stupid dogshit the Nutter Butter socials are doing is...a valid question. So valid, in fact, that they, and I'm inferring here, OBVIOUSLY paid The New York Times to do a "feature" about how edgy and exciting this new genius marketing strategy certainly is.

No, I don't believe a New York Times reporter went to one of their terfy editors one day and breathlessly panted, "Hey boss! Have you seen what the Nutter Butter TikTok is doing?? We must tell the people!" Then they stopped the presses and worked long into the night to secure an interview with the MARKETING GOD who went "Hey what if we make sandwich cookie ads look like confusing shit?"

The only legal reason this isn't a paid ad spot* is because Mondelez didn't actively pay for it specifically, they just paid a sack of money in general at some point and shrugged. And that led to one of the saddest fucking things a loser has ever had to write:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/07/style/nutter-butter-social-media.html

*It actually says "ADVERTISEMENT" at the top, so it absolutely is a paid ad. But the fact that I didn't notice is...exactly what they were hoping would happen. So you got me, you bastards. Doesn't change the rest of my observations, though.

(That link may not work. They are insistent that we all pay them actual real human money to read this. Just Google "New York Times Nutter Butter," if you dare.)

Marketing is a necessary evil, and hard to do, especially on the decentralized, Gen Z / Alpha Internet. And everything happening here is the saddest old man attempt ever to do it. It is fascinating, to watch this many people make such giant fools of themselves with this much money.

And it totally isn't working, unless you happen to be eating a Nutter Butter atm. But you're not. Become no one is. Including all these people. Because there are Reese's.

Also DO NOT go watch the videos in question. Don't encourage them.

Also all those videos are seizure-inducing and filled with jumpscares. Two things today's young people are TOTALLY into, minus trigger warnings. Good job again, dads born in the early 70s!

[gleefullypolin]

Glad to be a breath of fresh air! I don't want to say that I cringe a lot in the tag with the takes but, you know, yeah.😩

I don't particularly enjoy the double standard on either side but it really does seem to always come down harder on the women, especially any woman who doesn't present as expected. Just look at our little Pen being called the villain when we know if it was someone else there'd be a lot less of that. I'm still seeing bad takes 4 years later from another fandom I was in where a man and woman both made the same mistake and strangely, only her bad choice is talked about. Never his.

I agree, this isn't even on my list of things to worry about, ha. I have heard two versions of the rumor, one where he's there with them and one where he's watching them. I'm not going to get into the sudden fandom activism taking place about two women being paid to entertain a man but I will say that the distinction (if either is true!) is what I'd be most interested. It doesn't matter either way in the end but if it's the latter with him just watching, that's an entirely different thing that would need to be unpacked. Either way he's using escapism but not participating and a later scene being unable to participate? That's a man going through it and probably deserves some grace when he's also about to make himself suffer needlessly further.

People have made up their minds what the scene is without context or confirmation and it's certainly up to them to do so but having so much fandom experience I can say I've never seen anyone's worst case spiral of doom scenario they proclaim as fact be true in the end.

This man looking all over the world to find what he needs right across the road is great. He's been trying to be a Very Grown Up Man since s1 and he hasn't found purpose yet. I can't wait to see him actually find it this time.

Oh I agree, the media is the worst with fandom. It's best to stay out of it if possible. The media doesn't seem to understand the passion that the fandom has in all and tries to utilize it in all of the wrong ways. They're out of touch with a lot of it and truly, adding in the way a lot of fans feel entitled to what they want, it's always going to end in a melt down. Given the generational divide as well, you're going to have a bunch of people who think something is the worst thing in the world and the people who think it's really not that big of a deal so what are they yelling about?

I'm not saying it's easier to wait for context but in a month I feel like most of them won't even remember the full scope of their freak outs.

I have to say I DO cringe a lot, I try and stay neutral. That’s what I tell myself. I have actually stayed away from Tumblr honestly, but then there were all these pretty pictures, and I couldn’t resist. And then my big mouth takes off and all these ideas get in my head, and I use my blog as my therapy sessions.

Usually, my therapy is just with myself because most people just ignore what I have to say until you so thankfully came along to join into my sessions, and I must say I have truly appreciated not having to talk to myself all day long!

To the issue at hand…double standards…My word. We do live in a world today where women are sure held to a different standard than men and interesting that as I had thought we were moving out of regency standards of women having much more say and agency of themselves, we seem to step backwards more and more each day.

But that is a much bigger hole of a topic, when it comes to fandom however, we do seem to hold our men to a larger standard when it comes to our ships. God help Luke after this season airs. I pray our ladies and gents are on their best behavior to remember that Nic and Luke play these characters with the best intent and love for who they are and what is written for them.

I don’t know what will come of the article, I know the Sun is iffy and I’ve seen a lot of people say, “Yes its true” But there is 1) saying its true and 2) seeing it on screen. Back when screeners would give us a play by play of Glee episodes, they would tell us how a scene would play out and we would all get angry over a single phrase or an explanation of a specific description of a scene. Our brains all would create the story of what the intent was behind this one sentence or descriptor. Then we would get to the episode and the actual script around what played out was nothing near what my brain had created in that 2 second nightmare.

I’m sure we get a set up scene showing us that Colin is knowledgeable around a bodega, he’s been to these in his travels, he’s experienced with women, these are something that interest him and he’s curious about. That’s the set up. Then comes Pen. There is a kiss. There is confusion. Not realization, but confusion. Pen meets Obi Wan Debling. They hit it off. Success. Colin has done what he set out to do. He has accomplished his goal of making up with his best friend for his careless words the season prior. His unnerved, he needs release for some reason. He returns to what has calmed him before…but now scene two returns us to the familiar that is a set up for the audience and Colin to see that now is different. He no longer has interest. His confusion lifts because all he sees is Pen and he no longer wants what is offered in front of him.

And maybe I am also guilty of making up my mind about a scene before it plays out, because I have no context or confirmation either, but I would certainly be ok with being wrong also. I would prefer to take that than spiral into something else. To accept that Colin who has never been needlessly cruel instead is just a whore who is using his friend Pen to hurt her further while getting his rocks off. Because that is not the same person who can’t even swallow because she told him his eyes are really pretty. It just doesn’t compute so I refuse to spiral any other way.

In 27 days, all we will care about is that these beautiful people are staring at each other on our screens and we will be freaking out for more wonderful reasons.

[anavatazes]

So, Tumblr is up to its bullshit again. I am not receiving notifications, and even the little activity bubble on the app or web page isn't alerting me to anything. When I click on it, there's new stuff in there... fuck you Tumblr.

Head is progressively better. Still achey, but it is better. I've made it out to the couch today and am actually accomplishing things that I've needed to get done the last few days but couldn't. Go me! Was also able to get clarification from one of my doctors about a new medication they wanted me to start as soon as some tests came back, and so that's settled. Add another damn pill to the mix for at least the next 90 days 😕.

In other news, I have been toying with the idea of writing a Joel fic where he experiences Yule for the first time. Not Christmas or a Wiccan Yule, but a Norse Pagan Yule. I see others wanting to write various holiday stories to share their holiday traditions or be more inclusive, which got me thinking. It'll be related to the only other fic I've written and posted here. If I can figure out how to do it on the phone (or remember to go back and edit it on the laptop), I'll post a link for it. But Joel learns about Yule through the eyes of a child with the help of her aunt, his future girlfriend. Again, just toying with it.

Still not sure how I feel about the whole Pedro and F4 thing. A lot more info is out now with conflicting stories, which is typical. It's boiled down to the waiting game. No matter what, I will support him in whatever role he takes, even if I think it's a shit one. To me, from knowing Reed Richards in the comics, he's a boring, abusive asshole. Don't care he's a genius. Doesn't give him the right to be that way. Tony may be a playboy, but he isn't an abusive one. He's a jerk. He can be an asshole. But he ain't Reed. And that's where I will leave that.

I need more Joel. More Joel Fluff. In Jackson. Actual Fluff. Light on the Smut. 👀👀👀 I said what I said. I want to be held and crushed by those arms and feel safe. Intimacy is not always sex. I want to hold him and make him feel safe.

Ok, I need to get up. Mara is staring at me and the door. It's potty time.

Here she is with her Raz'um Bob, the Queen of the house. Raz calls her The Fucking Dog, but that's HER Fucking Dog, and don't you forget it!

Edited to add link for The Last of Us Drabble

If I have done it right, you should have me babbling just above a picture of Joel's dog, Drifa. I will check it, but man, Tumblr likes to make this a bitch... or I am just old 🙃. So, if this is like a few hours old and it doesn't work, let me know.

(No, I am not ready to say get off my lawn, yet. I like having people over. Fuck, I used to build and program computers and build websites from scratch, WTF?!)

[violentivy]

Ok petty pissed mode activated.

I've been avoiding my Mother's house. My Mom and I have a colorful history and I've been trying to heal from all of these childhood wounds that she conveniently doesn't remember inflicting.

I don't hate my family, I'm just a little mad at them. So, I avoid their company as not to snap at people for reasons they do not remember or understand.

So naturally when my Mom found out I'd be able to visit this Thanksgiving she got very excited, purchased a 20 pound turkey the whole bit.

My partner even managed to get the evening off so we were able to go together.

The moment I arrived the vibe was off.

The ENTIRE family had a cold and just kind of Neglected to mention it.

We had a nice meal and an ok time, but now my husband had come down with whatever cold they had, and I also seem to be coming down with it.

I told my partner when we got in the car this was probably going to happen. I told them that if I had been by myself I likely would have walked and said I'd delay until everyone was feeling a bit better.

But I stayed because the weight of tradition outweighed my physical health.

And I don't ever want that to be the case again.

If your family is sick, I give you permission to leave the party, if you need permission. I, your friendly neighborhood internet stranger am giving you permission.

It ain't worth it. You may think "oh the exposure isn't any worse than the grocery store" but they've been cooking that food in front of you all day. It's covered in their germs. You are virtually guaranteed to get whatever bug they've gotten.

It doesn't appear to be Covid, (yet), but I'm not holding my breath. Namely because I have asthma.

Just get some McDanks or something JFC.

Second petty mode offense which is more of a me realizing that I value people more than they value me.

My partner and I have a friend couple we consider family.

Thankfully, my bestie started therapy at the end of 2021 and is doing a lot better.

They haven't been reaching out as much recently which is fine. No worries.

But they did tell us they had finally gotten engaged. Which, fucking FINALLY, they've been together for 10 goddamn years.

We were the first they had told.

Today I open "social media network that sucks but my whole generation seems to be on" and there they are.

On a plane

To the Dominican Republic.

And they just kinda didn't at all mention it to us.

And yes, I'm mad about that. Like seriously bitches I tell y'all everything and the best you can do is a FB update. It appears to be for vacation, which is fabulous.

Great for them.

When my bestie does reach out now, outside of major life events it's to remind me she is a Mortgage banker and can help me with my mortgage.

With two YEARS worth of paystubs and at a horrid rate.

Naw man, no thanks.

I'ma...just keep to myself over here on Tumblr from here on out methinks.

It's better to be in one's own company than to be part of a dog and pony show for people who do not think of you as family any longer.

[chemicallady]

Hiya, would you be able to write a Johnnyxreader smut where they meet at a bar and he brings her home and he's really dominant with her??

Couple: Johnny Knoxville x Reader

Category: Its really long and... EXPLICIT! Porn with some odd plot.

Content Warning: cursing, mention of sexual activity, lame way to put the move on a girl, sex in public, dirty talking, fingering, oral male reciving.

Summary: this is my first attempt to write smut (in English) so please, be merciful. I hope that's good especially because the person who asked is my favorite fan writer here on tumblr. If you don't know this artist, go and check the account, that's in shadowbannig right now. I hope this situation will be solve fast and you can enjoy my crappy attempt! I'm sorry if he isn't really dominant, but I immagine him more bossy and carismatic then dominant in a sexual way.

So, here's something on the plot: Johnny is out with some of the guys and they bet on who will be able to bring a girl back to the hotel with him. Reader is so lucky to be there with a couple of friends and ended up approached by Dunn ( I miss him so much), but she shows more interest in Knoxville. Five boys, three girls. Let's see how is not gonna shag!

Mr Pretty Face

So, where we can start? The beginning is far too messy, so let's just say that today wasn't a good one for everyone. Bam called the day after the dinner, swearing at anyone who laughed at him before he locked himself in his room. Even Jeff had to admit that the guys (and himself) have gone too far pranking Margera. Preston also was too tired and Dave was not in the mood for a drink. That's not normal but having Darf around is too demanding and they have worked the entire day under the Louisiana sun, covered in pig shit. Jeff and Spike decided to work on a couple of skits scheduled the next days, the perfect excuse so they don't have to supervise the "children".

In the end, only Ryan - who never say no to a good beer- Chris, Wee Man and Ehren agreed to Knox's proposal to go out.

《 Aren't you suppose to work on the stunts as well? You're the producer. 》

《 ...Why we agreed to get Ehren in the cab with us?》

New Orleans is too good to loose. So another night at the hotel is not an option. It's okay if Bam wants to rest, the crew destroyed him today, but these five young, fine men are too excited to sleep. Doesn't matter the tiredness.

They never say no to a beer and, if it's possible, a hot chick. Being with dudes all the time arises in Johnny the primordial desire to shag roughly.

....This should bring us to some conclusions but whatever. It's another story.

The French Ward is the right place for a hunt and the bar they have just found is full of youngsters and already drunk people.

A natural jackass' environment.

Wee Man got company in 10 minutes, leaving the boys eaten by envy.

《 We can do better》 , Ehren says, pointing a table with you and your friends. 《 I like the brunette.》

《 I'll go with the blonde》 immediately Johnny reply.

《 I like the one on the left 》 , Ryan evaluates looking at you from behind sunglasses.

Pontius shrugs, thinking how unwise Sleep-O was to stay in bed. This gonna be hilarious. 《 I'll be the judge and eventually I'll bring the three of them to a real party when you all have finished making fools of yourselves.》

•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇

Meanwhilen you are in this bar with your friends Becca and Chrissy. It's Spring Break and that's the first time for you in New Orleans. You already have sex with a guy, last night, but both of you were drunk as skunks so you're still waiting for some big time that would make this vacation worthy. After you broke with your prick ex, you just want a fresh new start and an adventure.

You haven't recognised the four guys when they asked to sit with the three of you, but they are really awsome and in the moment they introduced themselves, they seemed to be hilarious.

The blonde guy, Ryan, is putting some moves on you since he sat between you and Becca, and even if he is nice and funny (but also smelly, really really smelly) you can't help yourself but continuing to look at the guy with the sailor hat, Johnny. He seemed to be interested in chrissy but for like half and hour, the two of you are exchanging increasingly explicit looks and phrases. Every single time your eyes meet the dark of Johnny glaze, you tighten your thighs unknowingly, with the feeling of increasjng excitement.

《 So you are a sailor or just an idiot with a hat and sunglasses during night hours?》 You ask shameless, when finally the poor Ryan moves aways, understanding what's going on. Johnny immediately takes his place, getting closer to you on the bench.

The chuckles, putting his arm on your shoulders. 《 I can be both》. The southern accent destroys all your defenses and you can feel something melting in your belly, this strong urge to be fucked hard for hours by this charming stranger.

He is so good looking. He didn't shave for a couple of days so he has just the shadow of the beard. He smells good, like shampoo and fresh closets. You hate keep score, but that's far more appealing than Ryan's sharp smell.

But it's not just a matter of personal hygiene: Johnny is magnetic. He can talk about the weather and be interesting. He's so carismatic that in a matter or second, it just you and him in the room. He also knows how to make the right moves.

《 How much have you drink, sweetheart? 》

《 Not even closer to feel dizzy, awsome.》

《 Here we go again, Mr Pretty Face.》 This last comment from Ryan makes all the table laught. But in your mind you're feeling so good.

The guy asked you if you haven't drink too much before continue. That's even hotter, knowing that he cares.

《 I like your hat, by the way.》 It's your decision to strike first, caressing the arm be has on the surface of the table. 《 You can take it on, when everything else will be on the floor..》

《 Wow》 , you try to keep your cool even if your cheeks are Ferrari's red. 《 I won't forget about that, ( y/ n). 》 His arm pulls you closer while the right hand ended under the table, on your thighs. 《 Remember that the sailor is in comand》, he whispers in your ear with a sensual hoarse voice. You spread your legs a little, notice that the others are all caught up in a conversation. You feel his fingers caressing your core over the slight texture of your underpanties and the only way you have to not moan loudly is biting without force Johnny's lips. He takes you in a breathless kiss, while he is still touching you. His long fingers slide the fabric to the side so he can start fingering you slowly. Too slow. It's frustrating. 《 You are so wet and I was simply talking to you, (y/n)... What’s in this smart head?》

《 Let's go to my car and I'm gonna show you, Johnny....》

Your teasing strategy won him over. In one minutes you got the car keys and all the recommendations from the girls, ready for a night that you hope it won't disappoint you.

The last thing you hear from the tables is Ryan complaining tune. 《 Mr Pretty Face strikes again! Oh look at me I'm Johnny Knoxville and I got all the hot chicks because my handsome smile..... fuck you, Knoxville!》

•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇

The two of you barely reach the car. He pushes you on the side of it, kissing you and touching you. You're not complaining at all, neither you’re waiting with your hands still. While he is caressing your chest and your thighs, your hands are on his juicy ass, squeezing it a little through the fabric of the baggy jeans.

《 You are so impatient, ( y/n ).》

《So you are》

《 that's true, but I'm not complaining at all.》

His lips are on your neck the second after, sliding up to ypir nipples while his hands lower the neckline of the dress. You are moaning pretty loud, careless. Doesn't matter if the two of you are in the middle of the parking lot, partially hide by cars, where everyone could see you. It is even more exciting like this.

Stroking his dark hair between you fingers, you ask for another kiss before looking at him. You take off his sunglasses so he can see you before you take off your underwear without taking off the dress. 《 Are we going to screw in a parking lot, sweetheart?》

《 Why not? Are you embarrassed, Johnny?》

《 Hell no. I'm harder that the concrete we stand on.》

A chuckle escapes your lips before you start a new kiss. His fingers are again on your core, rubbing your clit with his thumb. It's a mix that makes you feel high without taking anything. The drug in you is this Tennesee guy, hot like hell and so sexy. He helps you ride your first orgasm, before he tries to kiss you again.

But you have other plans. 《 Hold on, sailor... It's my turn.》

You kneel on the ground and immediately unbend his belt. He gasped, putting a hand on the back of your head. 《 If you go for it, I don't know if I will be able to stop you in time.》

《Then don't》 , you said with a smirk, 《 I’ll get you hard on the car ride to the hotel, I promise.》

《Jesus, (y/n) are you even real?》

◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇

The next morning he is the one who wakes up before. You are still in the bed, naked under the blanket. This gives time to Johnny to rethink about last night. It was... My God. It was amazing. He have never felt so close with someone (at least in bed) before.

The two of you had sex for at least an hour and half. Johnny's pretty amused thinking about how annoyed must be Jeff, who shares the bed wall in his room with Johnny's.

But it wasnt only sex, for him. He was looking for some fun un the beginning, but the amount of chemistry between you two is insane. And you... Jeez. Under the morning sunlight you look even more beautiful. The messy make up, messy hair... that's better than the first time he saw you yesterday.

He has to meet you again.

He has to ask and pray that you're not taken and this could be more than a Spring Break adventure.

By the time you wake up, his mind is full of questions and scenarios. 《 Good morning》 , you whisper.

《 I'm amused you're still alive after yesterday》 , he jokes, before bending a bit to give you a morning kiss. Not the most freshly one, but sweet. 《 Good morning (y/n), welcome to your new life filled with amazing sex... but I can promise I'm really good in planning dates and-》

《 Oh crap I know you》. You feel so stupid. Johnny knoxville is a famous guy. He was in that silly MTV show last year. How could you not recognize him? 《 Johnny Knoxville.... shit! Your friend also said your name.》

Johnny for the moment avoids pointing out that Ryan is famous too. 《 Is that a problem for you?》

《 No, not at all! I saw just a couple of episodes of your show... that's insane. 》

You laught with just a little embarrassing, the night washed away all your confident and Johnny finds you even more hotter. He loves innocent girls who are able to turn into a devil under the sheets.

《 Look, (y/n), doesn't matter who I'm. I feel so good with you and I want to see you again.》

Your heart sturt pumping faster.

《 I want to see you too, sailor. 》

The beautiful smile Johnny gives you can melt the North Pole.

《 That's amazing, (y/n). You can have my hat till that moment, then.》

[kiatheinsomniac]

1. I LOVE your writing! You're amazing! 2. If it's not too much trouble, could I request something where Ezio's wife is feeling quite insecure because she feels like she isn't as good as some of the other women Ezio has "been" with like Caterina and Ezio is trying to assure her that she shouldn't feel like that

Of course!! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get round to this, I've hardly been active on Tumblr at all in quite a while but I miss it here :(

She glanced over to where the Contessa was being checked over by a doctor while Ezio worriedly looked over her. Deep down, she knew that he was only concerned because she was a powerful ally to the brotherhood and her arrest at the hands of the Borgia had put her contribution to that alliance in jeopardy. But she couldn't help but fear that he was worried because they had a history together.

Claudia had told (Y/n) enough of what her husband was like in his youth - romancing every attractive woman he laid eyes on. On good days, this made her feel special - she were the one he married, after all - but on worse ones, it made her worry that he felt he could do better and go back to some of these women. Ezio was a faithful man, especially when it came to family, but this didn't stop her from worrying that she may not quite reach what he's been treated to by other women in his past.

She must have been glaring a little too hard though, because soon enough, Claudia was by her side, her arms folded.

"The woman is fine, I have a meeting to attend and he’s holding it up to fuss over her.” She snapped in disdain, her voice lowered as to not carry across the stone walls of Isola Tiberina’s Assassin hideout. 

“I don’t like it.” (Y/n) confessed, her eyes shooting daggers at the Contessa of Forli. Claudia raised a brow at the acid in her tone, finding it so unlike her sister-in-law to be so bitter. Glancing over at Claudia’s expression of surprise, she stepped her way out of the conversation to go and fetch Ezio. He had duties as Mentor of the Brotherhood and she had the claws of jealousy tying knots at her like a marionette. Emotions were something personal to (Y/n) and she wouldn’t watch herself become a wreck over some half-disgraced woman who had lost hold of her city. 

She could remember Ezio telling her how impressed he was to see a woman running a city all on her lonesome once... 

She cleared her throat, dismissing the thought as she did.

“Ezio, our contacts are waiting for you.” She spoke up, her face and voice the mask of business to hide her feelings. 

“Sì, I just-” 

“Bartolomeo has barracks to attend to, Volpe has a tavern to maintain and Claudia has a brothel to run.” She cut him off, watching as he turned his head quickly to face her, his expression a lock of shock and offence, “While they wait for you, their factions wait for them. You keep our entire Brotherhood on hold in a most dire hour to fuss over the Contessa who I’m sure if capable enough of getting her own health in order with the medico.” Ezio had stood now from Caterina’s side, bewildered at his wife’s ill temper. 

“Amore-“

“You have a job to do so go do it!” She snapped, “I have recruits to attend to and correspondence to deal with.” And with that said, she stormed off to the study in order to deal with the letters sent from the Brotherhood’s contacts across Italia. 

She set the few recruits that she had gathered in Roma some training assignments and filed through all the available contracts in the Mediterranean, even going as far as to reorganise all the books of the study’s library. All of this was done to avoid going to bed, knowing that Ezio would be there and knowing that he wold ask her about her attitude from earlier. 

It was when she was obsessively trying to get the paperweights in position that the door opened. In stepped the last man that she was willing to face in that moment: her poor husband who had suffered the brunt of her lashing out in jealousy. 

“Gioia,” He began, his tone soft yet cautious, “come to bed.” 

“But I need to sort these out…”

“I’m sure that the papers won’t grow wings and start flying any time soon.” He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder and inhaling deeply as he pressed his face to her neck, “Come, I want to hold you and talk.” 

“I just need...” She obsessively tried to get the weight to fit between the lines of the letter perfectly, some part of her mind telling her that everything would be alright if all these little things were exactly where they needed to be, that she wouldn’t have to talk about her feelings if she just got these other things sorted out first. 

“You need to lay down with your husband,” One of his palms splayed across her stomach, tenderly rubbing up and down as his other hand caressed her waist, “and let him hold you in his arms,” A soft kiss pressed to the nape of her neck, “and tell him all about what has you so stressed. Doesn’t that sound good?”

“Yeah, except the talking about my feelings bit.” She mumbled as the weight refused to quite fit between the lines, tears pricking her eyes, even if she tried to laugh a little. Ezio hummed knowingly. 

“Come on…”

“Ok...” She surrendered, letting him lead her upstairs with one arm around her waist while his free hand held her own, smaller, hand in his. 

He lead her up to their room where he began to strip her of her clothes that day, leaving her in a chemise. He frowned in sadness at her apathy, the way she didn’t melt into his touches as she usually would, and worry set into his veins. 

He pulled her to the bed where he lay beside her, propped up on one elbow while she laid on her back, her bottom lip trembling, eyes glassy and jaw held tight in determination to keep a cool composure. 

“What has upset you?”

“It’s stupid.” She replied simply, “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you or worried you, you don’t deserve that.” She took in a quick breath and covered her face with her hands, a small sob escaping her lips, each one that followed like a pair of scissors to his heartstrings. 

“If it’s making you feel this way, it can’t be stupid.” He rested a hand on her arm and she turned away from him, her hand gripping the case of the pillow under her head impossibly tightly. 

“It’s the Contessa.” She mumbled into the plush pillow, her cheeks already heating up in humiliation, “The way you risked your life to save her today and then you were fussing over her health and...” 

“Amore, you know that I would do all the same and more for you.” He spoke, almost in disbelief that this is what she was so upset about. There was a long silence as she wrapped her arms around her torso, hoping that somehow she could physically hold herself together with her arms. 

“Why did you marry me?” Fresh tears wet her cheeks and she muffled the sound of her crying in the sheets. He drew closer to her and held her in his arms, feeling her frame jolt with each sob. 

“Because I’m in love with you.” He replied simply, “I’m in love with the way you see the world and people, I’m in love with your passion and humour and intelligence.” He squeezed her tightly. 

“But you could have had any woman you pleased, any woman you’ve been with before. The countess of Forli: the only woman strong enough to run her own city and even fend off Borgia armies.” She hesitated but now that she had bottled up such strong emotions all day, the glass had cracked and no one could hold in its contents lest they slice their hands on the glass. “And don’t think I didn’t overhear that night back in Monteriggioni when I was still just the decipherer Leonardo had sent for the codex pages.” 

Once upon a time, this would have been a time for Ezio to be boastful, but now that he was a married man, he only felt rather embarrassed instead. Looking away for a moment, his eyes came back to land upon his wife. 

“You worry that you don’t live up to the women I’ve had before then?” He asked cautiously, knowing that this question may well only make things far worse if he were wrong. 

“She’s a fucking countess who runs her own city and has her own armies, not to mention the fact that she’s also very clearly good in bed. Who am I? The goddamn babysitter of all the recruits.” She threw her hands up in the air before rolling onto her back and turning her head to face him, at last, with teary eyes. 

“You, amore mio,” He began, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek, turning his body even more so in her direction, “are the woman who stole my heart so quickly, that I simply couldn’t wait to marry you.” It was true, they had only been seeing each other for just over 18 months when he asked her to marry him. “You’re an Assassin who is fighting for everyone in Roma and then all of Italia behind her borders.” A conviction began to grow within his voice as he took up her left hand in his, holding it up so that she could see her wedding and engagement rings. “You are the only woman in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He brought her hand up to place a kiss upon her knuckles. “I have had histories with women before, we both know this… But they are the past and you,” He leaned down to place a soft kiss upon her lips, lingering and tender, “are my future.” 

A small smile quivered upon her lips as fresh tears welled in her eyes, tears of an overwhelming sentiment of love. 

“I love you with all my heart, Ezio.”