#man procrastination fucking sucks
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yingxtkm · 4 months ago
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Quick life update since uhhhhh I haven’t posted anything art related in awhile (mostly just reblogging and shitposts as you can see)
I got officially diagnosed with ADHD a couple weeks ago well that explains the procrastination problems and got put on medication because of everything else that came with that diagnosis LMAO (anxiety, depressive episodes, etc. yada yada)
I have NAWT been touching my tablet until recently during the last month or so dealing with that amongst other problems, but hey I’m working on it now 😎 Also, I have a zine coming up if anyone’s interested in Honkai star rail so keep an eye out for that.
Anyways that’s all, hopefully I can post more artwork soon (and the long awaited aeriseph sibling shitpost sequel) ✌️
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amygdalae · 9 months ago
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it wld be really bad if i dropped my public speaking class but um im kind of fucked. im mkind of fucked
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jacketlovingfox · 8 months ago
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Some random ass doodles of Kinito I made while procrastinating my algebra homework. He's such a silly little man ❤️
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 2 months ago
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In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1
#oc liveblogging#ughhhhhhh i really CANNOT afford to be procrastinating rn but i know this happens when im extremelyyyyyy fucking stressed.#creative/art related classes always get me for this reason bc ill use 'wait but i need to find inspiration!' as an excuse to procrastinate.#fuckkkkkkkkkk. UGH IM NOT EVEN WRITING SOMETHING FROM SCRATCH ITS JUST A FINAL REVISION BUT IM CONVINCED IT SUCKS#the worst part is hkjhkjGHKJ I HAVE TO PRESENT SOME OF THIS SHIT AT AN. INTERNATIONAL FUCKING CONFERENCE GUYS. GUYSYSSSS#anyways this post is sadly not related to that. nothing im presenting is related to my ocs [un]fortunately lmao#ive just been thinking rotating various oc stories around in my head again ourgghhhh.#and i realized this LMAO. i mean maybe technically not 2 separate stories anymore because im recycling a lot from one for the other?#one of these was already established lowkey and the other was something i made for an assignment for a class like 2 years ago#i actually don't know if petunie will be blonde in her final incarnation?? ive always imagined her as silvery blonde ig but idk#if ill keep that. she doesnt have proper colors like colin but at least colin has his design set more straight somewhat.#and all the recent petunie development is lowkey really fucking funny to think abt. i girlbossed with her character development so#hard that she really replaced lucian as a protagonist HAHAJSDHKGJ. ok well not 100% kamille's story is a shoot-off#of lucian's technically? i guess? it started becoming that and now its solidified as that lowkey bc same town same place time period people#but man if im not careful i might accidentally make kamille/petunie's arc THE default one and lucian's main one the offshoot instead#a lot remains to be seen. but also yeah the other one who's story is mostly getting recycled (myrtille) actually ALSO HAD HER MOM#COME FROM THIS SAME FUCKING PLACE BASICALLY. a few decades later but still bruh given developments for lucian's story too its just like#at this point im noticing a pattern man wtf is wrong w/ women who come from this town specifically lol. 😔🥴#this town in general is just fucking cursed though i think ahkjshkg. i mean that jokingly and literally lolololl i gotta. work on it. but y#I HATE IT HERE WHY ARE WEIRD LITTLE FUCKING TOWNS WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS ALWAYS A CONSISTENT TROPE IN MY STORIES /silly#I DONT EVEN COME FROM A WEIRD LITTLE TOWN MY HOMETOWN IS LIKE. AVERAGE NORMALISH NOT SUPER LARGE??? IDFK?????#haaaaaaa fuck i need to finish this by the end of TODAY I S2G!!! SO I CAN MOVE ON TO ALL THE OTHER SHIT I OWE FUCKKKK
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transgaysex · 2 years ago
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truly the people who do like the pkmn scvi professors confuse me
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coridallasmultipass · 25 days ago
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#oh man im bummed out i rly liked the n//u carn__ ival vet event but ofc that was running same time as nik//ke cindy event#i went in the nu tag and its all the winter event hffffff#ill have to check ao3 but its a bummer i missed being able to find fan art on here#maybe ill check if ppl posted in the event name tag later#but hfffffff i ship quin//cy + ga//ru so hard and that event was so cute hfff#earlier i finally got to the second-to last story part of the dr quin/cy story#sucks that the stories take forever to free unlock compared w how i can like instant unlock in the other game lol#((i dont instant unlock anyway tho bc i want to do the conversations w the characters in the other game))#also im stuck on the main story bc i dont have a healer on my main account and my second account doesnt have potential crystals#i should look up tutorials on how to do those hard missions bc the in game tips dont make any sense to me#but ugh i gotta catch up on nik//ke rn and try to sleep early. ill try to figure it out tomorrow#im the absolute worst at turn based games man. im bad at games in general tbh but turn based is like. i dont know what is going on at all#gonna have to buckle down and study tbh like idk how ppl make it past any of these hard levels hhhh#i got past a couple on the sorcerer thing but now im stuck at rin there and in the story like pls dude. pls. im tired.#also pls game pls give me a healer on main. not a single ssr healer.#gonna try and beat the winter event on the second account so i can level up w the crystal things#anyway im procrastinating rn bc i hungy and i dont know if i wanna eat this late hffff#fuck it im gonna do it. eat and game and then try 2 sleep bc im gonna be miserable eating tomorrow after the dentist#rip me if i need a root canal bc im currently doing orthodontics w invisible trays#and idk how thats gonna work if i have a new crown. so hopefully my dental issue is still just fibromyalgia and not the root#man this turned into a real vent post lol#vent#ShitPost.exe#all whispered in the tags like lol#delete later / /
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punmster · 5 months ago
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i feel like all my braincells have been drained
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exopelagic · 7 months ago
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I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3
#it’s just gone in the oven which means at least 25 minutes and probably more like 45 bc I made a Lot#am also kiiiinda winging the recipe so my expectations are on the floor#this is. for a bake sale. pray for me#I’m gonna make the icing tonight and leave it in the fridge overnight I think for tomorrow morning#this has gone wrong at every available opportunity it was 100% not worth it#however! given the prices my friend wants to sell this at i May have turned this into like over £100 which isn’t bad#TWO CAKES. WHY AM I MAKING TWO CAKES#I’m procrastinating washing up the stuff I used to make the batter (hell) bc itssosososo messy and I just wanna shout abt stuff#primarily that I am once again so upset that I only get one more week of ice hockey before summer#there are two parts to this feeling: 1. I love ice hockey I’ve been having such a good time this past week while I’ve not had to stress#abt anything else. 2. gay. gay gay homosexual gay#like okay I’ve been worried abt whether this is an actual crush or I just convinced myself I like him bc pretty+queer#(because of course I can worry abt that). BUT yeah sorry no can confirm I like this dumb fuck this is so unfair#we talked a BUNCH last night and he’s just really cool.#ohhhh fuck I don’t think the oven was properly preheated bc I opened it for a while to fit the two tins in. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway!! he’s really fun to talk to someone help like if he does turn out to be single I could in THEORY text him over summer. maybe.#his birthday will be coming up and my friend suggested that. I’m being insane but oh my god this is torture#I ALSO watched the newest dr who episode today and that did NOT HELP. one of the first things in a while that have given me like#this same specific feeling when I get into gay romantic media. the ‘reading gay shit on wattpad at age 14 feeling’ if you will#where there’s like this weight in the pit of my stomach. it’s NICE that doesn’t sound good but it is#is this what straight people get with romance all the time. I know I just don’t watch/read much anymore but also#there’s straight romance in literally everything so.#but yeah basically I need another month of fuck around time minimum when everyone’s in this city so I can get my shit together#ALSO. I ONLY HAVE A YEAR LEFT HERE. THATS TERRIFYING. a year is a long time but it’s also not this one disappeared and this is like.#WAY too early to even consider that but he’s gonna be here probably for a year after I leave and that could suck if anything does happen.#I guess in theory I’m taking a year before phd probably so I could work here. idk man anyway that one is actually insane of me I’m just gay#boy 😔. they shouldn’t be allowed to do this#on Wednesday he’ll be done with exams and so will my other friend who knows him well. so I will be able to 1. subtly see w her if girlfriend#2. potentially. MAYBE ask what she thinks I’m just trying to decide whether that’s too much to put on her. I think I’m being insane there#luke.txt
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baby-prophet · 10 months ago
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I checked the syllabus and it says my midterm is due tomorrow but it also says it's due next week so I'm just going to say I only saw the second one and turn it in next week, it's my birthday anyways next week so I deserve it
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lesbianpikachu · 1 year ago
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#WE ARE SO BACK DUDE#MAN#this is like the first good night i've had in a while#goddamn it i fucking hate being an adult and it's something that's frustrated me in a way i don't know how to express for so fucking long#being able to admit that to myself and just say it out loud feels so fucking good. I do not want to do adult shit. i do not want to pretend#to be normal fuck everything and everybody i fucking hate being an adult i hate careers and social niceties fuck everything#god i fucking hate everything and im so happy to be able to say that again. life fucking sucks and thats it#oh my god ive been stuck in a positivity puddle for so long i hate it. complaining and hating is my lifee i will never stop#just oh my god it's so hard to be alive all the time and nobody ever talks about it and just expects you to do everything right all the tim#We are not going to fucking make it dude. what else is there. can we do something else#i feel so expected to just do things right all the time and i feel like people can see that and just make fun of me for existing all the ti#i fucking hate it! literally all of that shit makes me want to die. but like yeah like oh my god putting all of that down might fix me#we'll see. oh god the pokemon video looms large. im on gen 4 but i've been hardcore procrastinating on it. i'm just so done with all the sh#MAN i feel like a real person again i feel like i can breathe. i have been so frustrated w my friends and family for the longest time#and now i just feel like oh. yeah. literally none of this bullshit is necessary. why am i letting all these people tell me how to live#Who cares if im alone who cares if someones watching who cares if people like me i am alone i am happy i am doing what i want#like if i meet my goals and i feel like im doing what i think i should be doing then who cares. i'm having the experiences i want to have#and that's enough. it was always enough. and anybody who says it isn't should get over it. im fine. why are you trying to make me not fine#ok im done im done i just wnated to pour all this out. it feels a little cheesey but legitimately most nights to me feel like they dont mat#and this one is one that for the first time in a long felt like it finally did
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Ohhhh my godddddddd why am I like this I should’ve just done this earlier in the day instead of pushing it off now I’ve gotta stay up until like 3am if I wanna finish it
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queercatboyrights · 2 years ago
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girl help im scrolling through tumblr instead of writing my college papers due in less than 12 hours
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boypied · 3 days ago
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Bed Chem
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[meet-cute] logan howlett x male reader
summary: while you're out for groceries, you accidentally bump into a majorly sensual dilf and after many failed dates where you've been mistreated or stood up you decide to give the dilf a chance and it's the best decision you could've ever made.
wc: 2.4k
notes: MDNI, FDNI, smut, age gap, dominant logan, submissive reader, riding, praise kink, unprotected anal sex, oral sex (r!giving), nipple sucking, spit kink, light body/facial slapping.
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You hear the ding of the bell as the electric doors open up as you push your trolley into the supermarket. It's been a while since you've gone for a food shop, so you thought that it's probably best to go now and stop procrastinating before you die from starvation from the lack of food in your house. You grip the handle of the trolley as you begin walking down the first aisle of the supermarket as the sound of the wheels spinning fills your ears as well as the loud noise of people clattering past you. You pick up a bar of your favourite chocolate, gently placing it down in the trolley just to make sure it doesn't break or crack, and you can actually enjoy the bar instead of shavings of it. You begin pushing the trolley out of the chocolate aisle and into the freezer section. You opened up the freezer and felt the cold air hit your body immediately, giving you goosebumps as you pulled out the bag of frozen vegetables, placing it down in your trolley. You begin pushing your trolley forward as you hear your phone ping, bringing your eyes down to look at your phone as you tried to read the message you've just been sent from your friend as you feel a collision as you crash your trolley into someone else's one. Your eyes widen as your stomach crashes into the handle of the trolley as your phone flies forward and you fall on the floor in the most dramatic way possible, "what the fuck" you mumble out under your breath as you slowly flutter your eyes open to be met with a scruffy beard older man looking down at you, "are you okay?" He says in a gruff tone as he looks at you over his small glasses that rest on the bridge of his nose.
You stay lying on the floor for a moment until you take his hand and feel the force of your body flying up as he pulls you up towards his body, "Sorry about that" he says in a soft tone as he gently squeezes your hand before pulling away. He brings his hand up to delicately caress the bump on your forehead that occurred when you hit the floor, "Ooh, that's a nasty bump," he says in a concerned manner "Better get some ice on that before it gets so bad" he gives you advice with a warm smile on his face, deepening his smile lines as he looks at you. He leans down into the freezer beside you both and grips a bag of peas, gently placing them against your forehead. "Sorry, this was all my fault. I wasn't looking at where I was going." You begin rambling on about how sorry you are until Logan just starts laughing as he places his other hand on your shoulder, "I wasn't looking at where I was going either, I was cleaning my bathroom." He says to you in a low tone so that no one else hears that he was partially to blame for the collision. You let out a chuckle, and your cheeks redden, feeling his hand scrunch against your shoulder as he removes the iced peas away from your forehead. "So..are you seeing anyone?" Logan says straight up as he smiles at you with an innocent look on his face. Your eyes widen, and you choke on your spit. "woah! That's a bit forward, " you say while chuckling, and Logan joins in on your laughs. Shrugging his shoulder and he steps closer to you, closing the distance between the two of you. Logan brings his hand up to caress your cheek. "I know, but it's not every day an old man like me comes across a guy that is so... smoking hot." He says to you as he bends down to come face to face with you as he stares into your eyes, making your face go from pink to a deep shade of red "do I make you nervous...sexy" he whispers in your ear causing you to let out a quiet whimper at him words. Your asshole is practically opening up for him already, opening up for that sexy old man. You both stare at each other for a moment before a small smirk begins to grow on your face as you finally make eye contact with him.
twenty minutes later
Logan manages to slide his key into his locked door, giving it a couple of rattles, and then he twists the key, hearing the sound of the lock unlocking itself. His breath hitches as he feels you cover his neck in kisses latching your lips on his neck, giving him a fresh hickey next to the previous one you gave him just moments before. Your legs wrapped around his waist while his veiny hand gripped against one cheek to hold you steady while Logan pushes the door open, he watches it swing open in a swift motion as you run your hands through the back of his hair as you whimper tasting his neck. He kicks his door shut, listening to it slam shut. He lays you down against his couch as he stares down at you as you begin undressing for him, revealing more and more of your body to him. Logan doesn't take his eyes off you as he tears his shirt off his body, revealing his hairy chest and perfectly chiselled body. You gasp as your eyes focus on his body. He unbuckles his belt, throwing it onto the couch chair next to him, saving it for something he might do with you later on. He pulls down his jeans revealing his thick bulge in his underwear as you pull off your underwear exposing your cock to him. "fuck" he grumbles out underneath his breath as he watches you expose yourself for him. Logan sits down on the couch as you get down on your knees on the cold wooden floor, you run your hands over his thighs as he caresses his thumb against your lower lip. You gently place a kiss on his thumb causing him to bite his own lower lip. You gently lean down to place a kiss on his thigh as your eyes never leave his until he pulls down his briefs to release his monster of a cock causing you to let out a gasp, "it's big, right?" Logan says in a slight cocky tone causing you to nod your head.
You lean forward slightly wrapping your hands around the base of his cock, gently placing a kiss against his pre-cum soaked tip. Logan lays his head back, and his eyes flutter shut, feeling your touch against his sensitive member. Your eyes flutter slightly until they look up to study his face as you notice the pure bliss as you turn your head to the side to run your tongue all the way down to his base, placing a little kiss on his balls causing Logan's body to shudder. "Baby." he coos out in a low tone as he reaches out to stroke the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You swirl your tongue around his tip, making sure to savour the flavour of his pre-cum soaked tip. Logan leans his head forward to watch as his cock slowly disappears into the warmth of your wet mouth, your tongue sliding all over his cock as it gets further and further into your throat. You press your face right against his bushy pubes making sure to breathe in his manly scent, a scent that you're already growing to love. "Mhm," you moan out as your tongue slides down the back of his cock making Logan let out sharp but manly whines, "f-fuck" he grunts out as he places his hands either side of your head "Can I?" He says in a gentle tone as you loom up at him and nod your head while his cock is buried in your throat. He takes the consent you've given him and he slowly takes control of your head, using it as a fleshlight for his cock. "M-Mhm!" You whimper out as he speeds up, his hands holding your head as you slide up and down on his length your tongue savouring the taste of the pre-cum that is currently pouring out of the tip of his cock and coating your tongue. He pulls your head off his cock and begins to breathe heavily as you watch his spit coated cock glisten and twitch "S-Sorry...if we carried on with that I would've nutted" he says slightly embarrassed but you get up and straddle his lap placing your hand either side of his face causing him to look up at you, "don't be embarrassed, I'd of taken it as a compliment" you say softly causing him to let out a chuckle.
You place your thumb against his lip, "o-open," you mumble out shyly to him as you caress his lower lip. Logan happily obliged to you slightly out of the blue request but opened wide and sticks his tongue out. You let a string of spit drop out of your mouth and onto Logan's tongue. He makes sure to lap it up and swallow it all. Logan's hands caress your back as he makes his way down to grip your asscheeks very firmly, "so juicy," he mumbles out under his breath as he gives it a gently tap just to see your reaction "h-harder" you mumble out in a soft innocent seeming tone but he makes sure to obey your command and he spanks your ass harder causing it to send a ripple across your thigh, his rock hard cock pressed against your tight asshole that is pulsating and begging for more. "f-fuck me." You lean closer to him, whispering seductively into his ear, causing his body to shudder with excitement. "Ever been fucked by someone much older?" He whispers back to you while leaning forward to gently take your nipple into his mouth as he slowly runs his tongue back and forth over the nub, you shake your head "n-no" you say in a soft tongue as your breath hitches feeling his tongue against your nipple. Logan's hand grip onto your hips whilst the other graps his own cock and he lines up his cock with your hole that is so desperately begging for a good pounding. Once his cock is finally lined up he grips both sides of your hips firmly and he gently begins to push you down feeling his cock push past the tight muscle ring and deep into your velvet walls, inch by inch you take his thick cock, your asshole widening to accommodate his girthy size.
Once you're finally at the base, Logan bucks his hips up slightly to adjust his body. Your eyes flutter back as you feel his cock twitch inside of you and with each twitch of his sensitive cock your g-spot gets touched, "mhm" you mumble out practically too cock dumb to even think or create a sentence. You gently place your hands down against his hairy chest as you slowly begin to pick up your body and slam down against his thighs with a loud slap noise. Logan places his hands behind his head as he watches as you pick yourself up just to slam yourself down against his body. He watches the pure bliss that is plastered across your face. Logan wraps one of his hands around your cock and he begins to slowly pull back and forth as he jerks you off, he tries to match the rhythm of which you're bouncing on his cock aswell as curving his hand up with each jerk that sends shivers up your spine from how good it feels. You speed up your bounces as your hands caress his pecs, Logan's hands speed up as he jerks you off. You throw your head back in pure bliss as you feel Logan's cock twitch inside you indicating that he is close and with the way he is jerking you off, you're aswell. "L-Logan!" You whimper out as your cock twitches, your eyes flutter back as he speeds up his hand movements causing you to shoot your load all over his hand, you slow down your bounces as you breathe heavily and with your release Logan's cock twitches and he shoots his load deep inside of you. Your eyes flutter back as you feel his load painting your velvet walls white. You breathe heavily as your body collapses against Logan's exposed one.
Logan brings his cum soaked hand to his mouth as he licks your cum off it, "mhm...d-did it taste nice?" You mumble out tiredly as your body rests against his. Logan smirks and nods his head as he grips the base of his cock and pulls his semi-hard cock out of your asshole, "do you wanna stay over?" He whispers in your ear in a soft tone as he gently places a kiss on your cheek, "y-yeah I'd love too" you say softly as Logan picks you up and carries you into his bathroom and he places you down in the bath as he climbs in behind you. You rest your body against his as the tub fills up with warm water as you watch it coat both your bodies. You both relax in the bath for a while, cleaning each other up but while you're laying there you feel his cum drip out of your asshole and into the bath water. After a long warm bath, you and Logan both climb out and dry off. Logan hands you a large fluffy robe as you tie it around your waist, and you watch as he slips on plaid pyjama bottoms and a white vest. He leans down as you place his glasses on his face, pushing it up the bridge of his nose, and you gently bite your lip, Logan walks over to his armchair, and he picks up a book as he opens it up and begins reading as you walk over to him and you climb up to sit on his lap and you rest your legs over the arm rest as you lay you head against Logan's, this is what you've longed for a sexy man who knows how to please you but also is a cutie patootie, you think to yourself as you read the words with him as he flicks through the book pages.
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taglist ~ @starboye @mailmango @ghostking4m @kingchaospostsstuff @crispysoup318 @inhumanshadows @its-ares @gayaristocrat @cronasluvr @irlsamcarpenter @lucerothings1 @gaefaeyae @dqrkhold @sluttyhusband
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shellxrls · 5 months ago
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MDNI | 18+ content cw: explicit sexual content - unprotected PinV, male receiving oral
my take on perv!fratboy!rafe… unable to bear the weight of everyone's unruly expectations of him, he crumbles under pressure, succumbing to not only drugs but porn and a subsequent misogyny-fuelled, rich prick ‘better than thou’ mindset. this conceited image of himself is only further embezzled when he follows his fathers legacy, attending a university where the name 'cameron' is embellished on everything from the gym to the library — and since his father isn't present, rafe takes it upon himself to be the big man, which he assumes is only fair since his name is plastered everywhere.
his addled brain doesn’t let him amount your interactions to anything but sexual, and before you know it he's got you drunk and trapped in his bed under that slick smirk, met with a vulgar “bet you’re still as tight as a virgin though, pussy’s gonna be sucking me in snug,” when — much to his disappointment — you tell rafe that you aren’t a virgin.
he’s rough, slightly clumsy but very sure of what he wants, and so unfortunately for you he’s a better fucked than you would’ve liked. which is why you find yourself at his doorstep time and time again in the face of stress.
cramped class schedule making you ache for a quickie ? he’s booking out a study room in the library and forcing you to suck his dick under the table, all five fingers interwoven in your hair and aggressive guiding you down to mouth at his balls and lick at his taint until you’re breathless and uncomfortable.
need to procrastinate an assignment ? he’s got an apartment with the best alcohol you could ask for and multiple spaces to fuck. from a mean mating press on the couch, legs dangling off the side while his pubic bone pressed into your clit to prone bone on the bed where he can have his foot bullying your face in the mattress while you cream around his thick length.
point is, he’s always there. whether it be for better or worse, and you start to realise maybe he’s not as bad as you had initially thought.
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bitchesgetriches · 9 months ago
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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Retirement and How to Retire
How to start saving for retirement
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.
Season 4, Episode 5: “401(k)s Aren’t Offered in My Industry. How Do I Save for Retirement if My Employer Won’t Help?”
How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment 
Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff
Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds
The Financial Order of Operations: 10 Great Money Choices for Every Stage of Life
Advanced retirement moves
How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover
The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting
Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”
You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan
Season 4, Episode 8: “I’m Queer, and Want To Find an Affordable Place To Retire. How Do I Balance Safety With Cost of Living?” 
How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money? 
Ask the Bitches: “Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?”
From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings
Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 
Speaking of advanced money moves, make sure you’re not funneling money to The Man through unnecessary account fees. Roll over your old retirement accounts FO’ FREE with our partner Capitalize:
Roll over your retirement fund with Capitalize
Investing for the long term
When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation
Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 
Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA
Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds 
Wait… Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market? 
Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE)
The FIRE Movement, Explained 
Your Girl Is Officially Retiring at 35 Years Old
The Real Story of How I Paid off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years 
My First 6 Months of Early Retirement Sucked Shit: What They Don’t Tell You about FIRE
Bitchtastic Book Review: Tanja Hester on Early Retirement, Privilege, and Her Book, Work Optional
Earning Her First $100K: An Interview with Tori Dunlap 
We’ll periodically update this list with new links as we continue writing about retirement. And by “periodically,” we mean ��when we remember to do it.” Maybe remind us, ok? It takes a village.
Contribute to our staff’s retirement!
Holy Justin Baldoni that’s a lot of lengthy, well-researched, thoughtful articles on the subject of retirement. It sure took a lot of time and effort to finely craft all them words over the last five years!
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fuqnia · 14 days ago
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SP Main Four + butters !College AU Headcanons
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[☆] A/N | hii guys! i recently hit 500 likes on tumblr and i'm like so speechless... i never wouldve thought people would be interested in reading my stupid little writing hehe, so tysm! my long fic, most wanted, is coming to a close soon, and I have been working on another longfic that's a fem!reader insert x main 4 boys in college!
[☆] C/W | slight nsfw in kenny's
[☆] check out my relationship college au headcanons for the boys + butters here! it's sfw and nsfw <3
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☆ stan marsh
environmental science major
i think he would have like around a 2.5 - 2.9 gpa
uses a laptop to take notes
surprisingly has decent notes
gets on wordle, geo guesser, quordle, WAFFLE, during lectures if he gets bored
struggles with hangovers, yet still goes to classes sometimes
i don't think he truly notices how much he drinks... it kinda just happens ?
doesn't mind college parties, will go if his friends want to
kyle usually has to carry him back to their shared dorm when he does go tho LOL
volunteers at the town's animal shelter !!
sometimes eric and butters tag along
visits home like once a month, mostly to see his mom and dog
crimson dawn is still a thing, and stan is sooo dedicated
matches band tees with kenny sometimes <3
keeps up with his college football team religiously
way too emotional about college sports
joins some intramural sports tho!
butters and wendy would come to his games and cheer him on
definitely has late night talks with kyle about "deep" stuff... and kyle is like
"dude, shut the fuck up and go to bed," and throws a pillow at him
i think he would start a vinyl collection
also has succulents, but he forgets to water them hehe
doesn't really use social media
so he gets kyle to send him songs from tiktok for his workout routine LMFAO
sucks at cooking
best procrastinator around
his drunken rendition of mr. brightside went viral after kenny secretly posted it online
"IT WAS ONLYYY A KISS, IT WAS ONLY A KISSSSSS"
very political
argues with the tik tok interviewers on campus
gets kenny to help him bleach his hair
eric bullys tf out of him for it
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☆ kyle broflovski
political science major and on a premed track
4.0 gpa idc this man is a tryhard and fueled on spite
uses an ipad and apple pencil to take notes, uses goodnotes
definitely color codes his notes
i don't think he would actually ask questions in class
but goes to office hours... and that's how professors know his name
obsessed with email etiquette
will actually facetime sharon to show how messy stan's side of the dorm is
will spray stan with a waterbottle to wake him up
"dude... are you serious right now?" "it's 2pm stan."
has a mini ironboard and iron
wears his ushanka on bad hair days
refuses to join study groups
but is butters study buddy
visits home every 2 weeks
and comes back with a ton of leftovers from his mom's cooking
he also mealpreps
whenever his mom calls him, eric takes kyle's phone and starts talking to sheila himself
in bed by 9pm most days
kenny comes knocking on the doors at 9:01 to bug kyle
definitely a coffee snob, and grinds his own beans
has a small box of keepstakes under his bed
also has a small medkit in his dorm, backpack, and gave one to kenny, eric, and butters
jogs every morning before class
terrible at small talk
prolly makes underclassmen cry
sends venmo requests for every shared expense
participates in model un
falls for ragebait online
also chronically online
waters stan's succulents for him
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☆ kenny mccormick
physics major with a minor in women's and gender studies
3.5 gpa
milked the fuck out of his home situation to get a full ride scholarship
uses an old fashion notebook to take notes
sometimes comes to class faded
tries not to make it a habit
also smells like cigarettes, but everyone still wants to sit next to him ?
butters offers him alternatives like gum or lollipops
adrenaline junkie
his favorite class he took is water skiing
but also really likes his minor classes!
volunteers at local events, like community cleanup
thrifted flannels
shares them with stan
the most well known on campus out of the four + butters
loves late night drives
knows all the scenic spots around campus
has a bunch of tattoos littered on his body
kyle definitely mothers him, taking care of his scratch and bruises
horrible sleep schedule thanks to eric screaming in their dorm at 2am
makes quick god-like meals
the underclassmen idolize him for some reason ?
diy king
was hired to be the campus mascot
but was fired for bringing pyrotechnics on the football field
do not ask this man his bodycount
decorated his ottoman, to make it look less suspicious
definitely hides his drugs and alcohol in it
locks out eric from their dorm room and puts a sock on the door handle when he's getting sum
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☆ eric cartman
business administration major with a minor in psychology
2.0 gpa
does not rlly give a fuck abt his classes
gets caught for cheating/plagiarism but somehow manages to never get expelled ?!
runs for his class student body president position, but his campaign is just memes
always scheming for free food, all the clubs know him
doesn't have anything school related in his backpack
loud as fuck in his dorm
"Dude. You’re at, like, an 11 right now. I need you at a 3." "Uh, excuse me? I’m multitasking. This is called strategy, Kenneth. I’m practicing for when I go pro, unlike you and your stupid—whatever it is you’re doing—'The Patriarchy 101' or some crap."
unironically loves the dining hall food
networks on linkedin for some reason ?
listed kyle as a reference on linkedin to piss him off
tiktok famous
atrocious dorm decor
has a cardboard cutout of andrew tate that he loves
runs the school barstool instagram account
reddit mod on the school's subreddit
every few weeks, stan convinces him to set a fitness goal
always fails...
has convinced the entire dorm there’s a ghost, and charged people $10 for ghost hunting tours
once organized a charity on campus to help pregnant students, but pocketed all the money
also ropped butters into it somehow
stole one of stan's succulents
believes he's a karaoke god
records the main four + butters at parties
spends at least an hour in the dorm's bathroom, causing kyle to geek tf out
works as a guide tour for the school, so he could spread misinformation to the tour groups
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☆ leopold 'butters' stotch
either an education, psychology, or business major... i can't decide
3.8 gpa
active in the student government
sometimes reviews eric's cheating cases... way too lenient
accidentally started a cult on campus
started as a wholesome self help club
his advice was so endearing people started treating him like a guru
kenny thinks this is hilarious... kyle tried to stage an intervention but failed
becomes an RA
takes it way too seriously, best informative bulletin boards and door decorations
gets really sad whenever no one shows up to game night
so the main four and craig's gang show up out of pity
sometimes the girls come too!
did study aboard for a semester
returned with an inflated sense of cultural superiority
eric mocks the fuck out of him for it LOL
says howdy! to everyone every morning
academic overachiever
too polite to call out slackers in group projects so he just does most of the work
studies at the campus library at a specific spot next to a window
chews grape flavored gum while studying
started cleaning up trash at parties
color coded planner with stickers and motivational quotes
best hugs... stan is like the only person who hugs him back
sneaks into the football stadium at night to just stand on the grass
goes out for every holiday
plans secret santa for his dorm, makes cookies for finals, decorates his dorm room
his dorm door is always open!
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☆ Group Dyanmics
always does group costumes for halloween
teletubbies one year, fnaf the next
bad movie nights everyweek
annual camping trips
kyle cries about the lack of phone signal
stan always forgets something important, like his tent or sleeping bag
kenny loves telling scary stories, especially to freak out butters
cartman only packs junk food
butters always burns his smores
every year when the snow falls, the go out in the quad to have a snowball fight and random people join in
kenny somehow manages to get the group to join him for his midnight drives
every semester they crash the weekly campus trivia at least once
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can you guess who my favorite is tehehe...
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