#man just loves breakin bones

[redlips-blooddrops-deux]

"Yew git waaay too excited about draggin' someone down into yer office."

@splinter-sister

"Hmm? I dont see a problem there lil stoat, gotta teach certain fuckers a lesson or two you know heh "

[spiderh0rse]

freeman's mind notes part two, e6-e10.5. under cut, long. formatting is different this time. will carry on in this way.

e6

"safety's off" sir. Sir you've just said it was a Glock. You fool. You absolute buffoon.

"clip" IT IS A MAGAZINE

I cannot respect a man who watches Die Hard this much. I just can't.

love how he reacts to the houndeye teleporting in. Flat "No."

mimics houndeye noise :>

heard Gman movin around on the catwalk above

electricity doesn't do a ton to him this first go around but does hurt and seems to paralyze him for a moment. Muscles seizing and all that

rescinds his disdain for everyone who died. Admits it's a bit difficult to live under the circumstances

"white men in armoured hazmat suits can't jump" SIR

[underwater mumbling] sounds pretty damn frantic. Genuine fear of dying by his own hand. I'd wager he thinks he's the only one that could do it.

bounces back quickly!

just goes and shoves some words together. For fun!

dislikes the ammo being covered in blood. Considers leaving it behind because if that

impacts still hurt. High impact reactive armour this is Not

e7

simian instincts strike again

has seen star trek

"maybe i should've been a bug" well I can study you like one. How's that sound

Kafka's Metamorphosis mention! It's Gregor Samsa that actually turns into a bug though, so. May not have read it.

knows who Shiva is! Not sure of her origin but she does show up in ff7, which is within his range to know about

bullsquid acid tastes like dead caterpillar

yog'sothoth :>

held his mouth open in the canal. Dude.

mouth cancer...

hates puns.

Black Mesa gets money from the dept. of defense

slur count one

is this hl source? Do the crates sway in the ported version?

correctly figures out the useless crate pit room

hates elevator music

e8

audio inconsistent :(

bug murder D: I love bugs.

shouting and breaking stuff in grad school did not help him

says grody. Like a loser.

threatens a man's life again. Doesn't seem to mean it.

calms down easily enough by breakin things

wants to blow up the building. He won't know it but it will be. Your will be honored, sir

came home to a guy impaled on his window's insulated glass. Explained that to the police.

"kind of like glass in a way" fragile and lacking a smell? got it

"GYAHH" high pitched scream!

has been hit by many tasers over dates.

pepper spray is worse.

first instance of sonic damage (gun in air vent)

some guy named Jessie would electrocute himself on his bed and end up paralyzed for an hour for fun. Sounds fun tbh

Steve Irwin... Rest in peace and let's kill all sting rays now

does ask a cowering scientist if he's okay

somehow doesn't see the shotgun in plain sight waiting for him

doesn't always know when he's thinking out loud

e9

peppered steak just like OFF

visibly contemplates shooting a regular bug

actively admits he was considering cannibalism. I can get behind that. Cannibalism win.

"pew!!"

roleplays as a teacher who hits kids with crowbars

wants to be a medieval knight so bad

no vent sharks for us! fan blades instead

afraid of muppets

has whistled Twice now

has seen Jurassic Park.

wishes he could shoot electricity through his hands

has probably seen James Bond

already theorizing about Xens makeup

more bothered by a barnacles death coating him in blood and potentially jamming his gun than being choked

shot in the ear :>

whistles in time with the turret. Echolalia real

doesn't want to look gay. Too late. Even if we assume base Freeman model he does have a ponytail.

slur count two.

HEADCRAB SLAUGHTER PARTY

sounds like he likes coffee and doughnuts

e10

starts off with silly noises and repeating the word "coffee" on loop

Chainsaw noise with his mouth

jason vorhees wannabe

would love to spread bloodborne diseases via hug

has a collection that a human skull would fit right in with. Bones in general? Skulls in general? Human skulls? Doesn't matter, Eddie mention! As of him getting more skulls in cheap.

wants his funeral to be full of explosives and planes

he is not a gerbil.

feels he's only sure of his actions when killing things

watches Jackie Chan movies

and the Addams Family!

gman sighting.

thinks the guy diving through the window is cool. compares him to his own grandfather? neat!

unlike stark can do a pull-up in his suit

cannot break the vending machine glass. has change on him, though. Dorito time.

[galacticcosmologist]

im fighting for my life to keep the formatting from getting utterly screwed

CG: I COULD GET HIM PREGNANT CG: [PICTURE OF RANDOM ANIME MAN] AC: :33 < guys i think i huave autiusm GA: Spending Time With My Beautiful Wife :) I Love Him CG: [1000 POSTS ABOUT A SINGLE CHARACTER] CG: I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A VERY ELABORATE TRAP OF SORTS IN WHICH I SHOOT HIM THREE TIMES IN THE CHEST, RUN HIM OVER WITH A CAR, DROP A PIANO ON HIM, HIT HIM WITH A BRICK, TIE HIM TO SOMETHING HEAVY AND DROWN HIM IN THE SEA, DROP HIM FROM THE EIFFEL TOWER, AND THEN NURSE HIM BACK TO HEALTH SO I CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN AC: :33 < [picture of a very sw33t cute creature of some sort] AC: :33 < now s33 her joyous whimsy ♡ GC: 4NYON3 W4NT TO ST4B 4ND K1LL M3 S3XU4L STYL3? CC: just got back from walmart. i love s)(oplifting CC: #)(UNTING #GAT)(-ERING CG: DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR WEIRD NOISES IN YOUR WALLS SOMETIMES… GA: [reblogs Many Cute Aesthetic Posts] GA: To Be Honest I Think Ripping Someone Apart With My Bare Hands And Being Covered In Blood And Gore Could Fix Me TC: iN ThIs gUy's wAlLs rN!!!! ShOuLd i cHaSe aNd kIlL HiM WiTh a kNiFe yEs/nO TC: [pOlL, "YeS" rEsUlT Is wInNiNg bY A LoT] TA: who up thiinkiing about triiangle2 rn? AT: WE COULD ALL STAND TO BE A LITTLE KINDER EVERY DAY,, cARING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND SHOWING COMPASSION TO THOSE AROUND YOU IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS YOU CAN DO, yOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU MIGHT AFFECT WITH JUST A SMALL ACT OF KINDNESS, mAYBE YOUR COMPLIMENT ABOUT SOMEONE'S DYED HAIR WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR DAY, mAYBE THE PERSON YOU HELD THE DOOR FOR HAS BEEN EXHAUSTED TAKING CARING OF OTHER PEOPLE AND YOU REMINDED THEM THAT THEY NEED TO CARE FOR THEMSELVES, tOO, i HOPE WE ALL CAN BOTH GIVE AND RECEIVE A LITTLE COMPASSION TODAY }:) CG: HONESTLY MY DAD NEEDS TO KILL HIMSELF AA: [413 p0sts rebl0gged with #queue can't kill me #c: milb0 meegus #y0u are my angel #fand0m y0u've never heard 0f in y0ur life #0pen up y0ur heart like the gates 0f hell #me] TA: fuuuuck ii ju2t told the waiiter "you too" when they 2aiid enjoy your meal. ii need to change my iidentiity and flee the country now CA: sorry i havven't been activve my apartment building burned dowwn and my car exploded last wweek, luckily only breakin twwo of my bones in the process! but honestly it's not evven that bad so im takin the bus to wwork right noww. here's to hoping this one doesn't crash this time! AG: I deserve to kill 8ad drivers with my mind powers. Re8log if you agree ::::) CT: D--> MY BLULGE FELL OF?F????

[hiohaku]

𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚌 ` . . . FACIAL SCAR .

[ ... ] love does not consider itself foreign within your body . it 's familiar , a consistent hum that resonates along your spine , where your heart hammers and ears buzz . it takes different forms , surrounded you in many ways taken for granted . it is not only a four letter word , made synonymous with words like patient and trust . However , That ’ s not always the case , is it ? the word , the emotion , can also be synonymous with pain . at twenty - three , she fell in love . and it left such an impression on the soul , it scarred . rose tinted glasses , made the perfect accessory for a girl knowing no better . love that you so desperately longed for ; welcomed with arms wide open . little did you know you were reaching into the wolves mouth . or rather [ ... ] caught in a spider ' s web .

𝒊. 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖮𝖮𝖣 : at twenty - three utahime entered a relationship with a man by the name of kagero akihrio . he was a twenty - six year old man who stood just under six foot , with lavender eyes and dark / black hair . it was suspected he was just another non - sorceror , somebody with no knowledge of the jujutsu society or curses . utahime and kagero met through a mutual friend , once contact between them was made and a date arranged , they hit it off .

𝒊𝒊. 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖳 : kagero was a kind man . just as you would imagine utahime ' s ' type ' to be . a gentleman , who treated utahime with great respect . he was somebody she trusted completely , giving him access to her apartment when she was at work ( at kyoto high , being trained as a teacher under gakuganji ) and thus , he was who she ' d complain to when her training was particularly rough . utahime always told him that she was in training to be a school teacher and never expanded on the specifics . if he didn ' t know about curses then surely she was not about to bring them up , partially as a code of conduct within jujutsu society but out of her own comfort as well .

𝒊𝒊𝒊. 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖡𝖠𝖣 : it was later in the night when utahime had received a call, alerting her of an assignment near the kyoto port , believed to be a minor curse and nothing too difficult for utahime to handle and exorcise. only , they were wrong . upon arriving to the location and taking all the necessary precautions of checking out the area and debating on the safety , she heard the snap of bones , a voice that was too familiar for her not to recognize . the curse user was much stronger than what utahime was prepared for. it was kagero .

𝒊𝒗. 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖶𝖮𝖱𝖲𝖤 : utahime discovered that kagero was not only there , but he was the curse user she'd been dispatched to deal with , there was a squabble of sorts between them and she felt her own heart break . he had been using her with the purpose of getting close to gakuganji / the higher ups . he laughed in her face , suddenly changing his complete personality . no longer the kind man he was before [ ... ] he became hostile , immediately taking her by surprise as he summoned his curse . his curse appeared to be spider - like , with eyes like goggles that stacked up the middle of the head . and multiple arms on either side of it ' s torso . it had to be at least seven foot , with a long neck and slouched shoulders . two human faces hanging by a chain around the neck . two of it ' s arms ended with sharpened points -- where an acidic solution was secreted .

𝒗 . 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖤𝖭𝖣 : utahime was attacked by this curse, using it ' s speed and acidic ability against her . it ' s sharpened arms sliced fast , resulting in a laceration across her face , deep and thick , along with some others , scattered and much more shallow in comparison to the one across her face . She was skilled enough in hand to hand combat / martial arts to fight with kagero , she was able to get an upperhand on him, breakin his nose with her hits and even going as far kicking in the back of one of his knees ... but she knew the likelihood of her getting out of there alive was low , she was bleeding bad , from her face but also from the various other areas in which she'd made contact with the curses poisonous points. ( her abdomen / hip area , her right wrist and the small general slashes over her body ) kagero had knocked her on her back, trying to stab her with his own knife but she was fast enough to kick him in the face , not wasting any more time on her get away. she ran . she was battered , covered in blood and exhausted . she passed out and once she was found she was taken to a hospital [ ... ] she awoke a few hours later with shoko nearby . a grateful feeling blooming in her chest at the sight of her friend , of safety .

𝒗𝒊 . 𝖠𝖥𝖳𝖤𝖱 : while shoko did arrive in time to heal utahime , her ability was not enough to completely mend the scar (s) that had formed . there are rules to every technique and poisons / acids are tricky to heal , especially when it ' s a curses -- the properties are often different than anything humans would know of . utahime returned to tokyo from the hospital , staying with shoko and even returning home on occasion while she recuperated : partially for her safety as well as for the sake of any treatment needed . it would take weeks , maybe months to fully heal , thanks to the severity of scarring / wound . while with shoko , she could drop the mask that she was okay , often crying about what had happened , she moved from the apartment , finding a more discrete apartment complex that had security measures . since kagero had gotten away , utahime wasn ' t sure if it was his real name but still reported the incident to gakuganji . while she healed she had nightmares , and still does occasionally -- dreams that resemble night terrors , with flailing and crying , even screaming at times . because of the nature of her wound , shoko dressed the wound in bandages and checked on them despite utahime's claims that she was fine , that it didn ' t hurt much anymore . severe nerve damage had been inflicted , so the skin where utahime ' s scar is , she cannot feel if somebody touches her cheek . the entire instance makes her incredibly wary in terms of relationships / love , feeling unsafe within the emotion .

note : lore is flexible for plotting .

[hellsmayflower]

You have forsaken all the love you've taken. Sleepin' on a razor there's nowhere left to fall. Your body's aching, every bone is breakin'. Nothin' seems to shake it, it just keeps holdin' on.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Your soul is able, death is all you cradle. Sleepin' on the nails, there's nowhere left to fall. You have admired, every man desires. Everyone is king when there's no one left to pawn.

[elvisabutler]

caught in a trap pt. 4

fandom: elvis ( 2022 ) pairing: elvis/living past 42, past priscilla/elvis, current priscilla and elvis loving each other too much always. several bits of linda/elvis. word count: 1768. rating: t, tbh. it's got cursing, it's got elvis's drug use. warnings: drug use. the usual bullshit with elvis. use of the word mommy in relation to refer to a significant other. implied terror/fear from a child. the colonel being the colonel. author's note: i don't. i'm not even gonna pretend i have an excuse. also reading my pairings and author notes for this fic now that i write real elvis is hilarious to me. whoever reads this, enjoy. gonna try and finish it by the new year. we'll see. i don't know. previous parts can be found in the masterlist. y'all know this is a fix it fic. this really is just austin elvis vs elvis elvis. i just kind of borrowed elements to fit my needs. directly previous part here.

The thing about Priscilla is that in the entire time Elvis has known her she's been a fabulous listener. Even after they've gotten divorced she still listens when he calls sure the conversations are usually a bit- a lot- shorter but Elvis takes what he can get with her even though he has Linda and even though Priscilla has moved on. It's perhaps a little codependent still but he never claimed that he's necessarily the most healthy when it came to his relationships. So sue him for wanting to keep his ex-wife closer to him than any man probably has any right to.

She listens as Elvis talks- as Elvis tells her what Jerry had told him that- as much as he's loathe to admit it might have made him pass out like he did. He expects her to be more shocked, more taken aback by the knowledge but instead he's greeted by a lack of reaction that if he wasn't so bone tired and exhausted and it wasn't Priscilla acting that way- it would have likely lead to him biting her head off. Instead it just lets his anger deflate, allows him to relax to a certain degree. He likes to think that's just Priscilla's effect on him sometimes, but he knows it's more just her knowing him better than almost anyone.

"I'm gonna fire 'im, 'Cilla. I did, but- everythin' ain't finalized yet, we're doing that tomorrow, but I'll finally be done wit' him." Elvis says as he finishes catching her up, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Priscilla has shifted a few times in her chair, and her feet are currently planted firmly on the ground as she leans forward, eyeing Elvis as if he's a puzzle that needs solving. It takes her a moment before she stops giving him that look and just lets out a very heavy sigh, shaking her head just slightly. "Remember the last time you told me you were firing the colonel you ended up here. remember what I said Elvis?”

His lip curls up into something faintly resembling the beginning of a snarl. Was Priscilla really bringing that up? Bringing up how he promised her that "business was business" and that he "owed it to his face to let him know in person" as if the Colonel would have done the same thing for him, granted him the same sort of courtesy. There's a part of him that knows she's right, knows that he had said that he was going to fire him only to be stuck under the multiple feet of snow like she predicted but it still bothers him to have her point it out. Jerry looks at Elvis from his chair, waiting for him to actually say something in answer to what Priscilla said before Elvis just sighs and shakes his head. "Don't let him clip your wings, yeah, 'Cilla, I remember. It's different this time."

She licks at her lips slowly before humming softly. "What's different about it, baby? You're really done this time? Can't stand being in the snowstorm any more?"

"Somethin'- 'Cilla, I don't know, a'ight? I don't know! I just don't wanna be doin' this. Don't wanna be slavin' away for 'im only to realize I ain't got nothin' to show for it but a daughter I don't get to see and a body that's breakin' down faster than I can try and fix it." He know he shouldn't yell, shouldn't be like this to Priscilla but his frustration about all of this is getting to him. His regrets about everything are starting to get to him. He could be so much happier right now, he could- he could be touring the world. Even- He could still be married to Priscilla but even if he wasn't he could take Linda around the world. Hell, he could take all his girls around the world. They deserve it for what they've done for him.

He waits for Priscilla to get up, to remind him that as much as she loves him, she did not come here to be yelled at, to have him be belligerent at her, but she doesn't. Instead she turns to look at Jerry and motions to the door. "Can you give us a minute? For us to talk." A pause. "Alone."

Which is to say she didn't want to have any interruptions from him or anyone else Memphis Mafia related or even Linda. This was strictly a conversation she wanted between the pair of them. Jerry nods moving to stand up and crossing the room in a few strides. "I'll be outside, Priscilla." He nods at Elvis. "EP."

Priscilla stands up as soon as Jerry leaves the room and moves to sit on the bed, not bothering to ask for permission because what's a lack of space between someone you've been married to and as much as she is sometimes loathe to admit it but someone who knows practically every bit of you because he had a hand in helping shape it.

“Is she taking care of you still?” Priscilla as she moves to stroke his hair gently. It feels soft like she remembers. “I know you said she-”

“You know how I get, ‘Cilla. Could be takin’ care of me in the best way and I’d find a way to still mess it up.” Elvis laughs softly even though none of what he said was actually funny to either one of them.

"I do." She answers with her own huff of a laugh before her hand moves to his cheek, stroking it as he leans into her touch. “You look tired.”

Elvis doesn't speak for a moment, instead just focusing on how gentle Priscilla's touch feels, at how it feels like a cool balm against his skin and how it touches something and settles something in him that even Linda can't touch on her days that he's feeling so goddamn small. He shrugs when he finally does speak. “Stopped takin’ the amphetamines, course I’m a little tired.”

"You-" She stops herself and just looks into Elvis's blue eyes for any trace of a lie. "For Lisa?"

His answering nod is slow and rather measured as he tries to figure out if he wants to answer her beyond that. She deserves an actual answer out of him one complete with words and an acknowledgment of the exact reasons why. "Can't have her being scared of me. 'Course I did, 'Cilla. For her."

Maybe a bit for himself, if only because it meant he'd still be able to see her, still be able to do some of the things he wanted in his life even if he was confined to doing what he had been doing. His eyes don't leave Priscilla as he watches her face cycle through multiple emotions ranging from what he thinks might be pride and honest delight. For a moment he feels like he does when he sometimes calls Linda Mommy and he scrunches up his face. She finally speaks in a whisper. "Thank you."

For putting their daughter first, for doing something she asked him do so many times, for doing something she knows will help him in the long run even if the effects right now aren't pleasant.

Elvis just shrugs before leaning against Priscilla. "You gonna head t'the hotel? Don't know if I'll be any good company right now."

She opens her mouth to answer, fully intending to say no immediately before she shuts it and just looks at Elvis and sees the tiredness in his face, in his shoulders- in every part of his body. Her answer changes as she takes all of that in and processes it. "I'm tired as you, baby. I can stay here."

A hum leaves Elvis's throat before he can stop it. He doesn't need Priscilla, he's got Linda and Priscilla isn't his first love but- she's also just- she's his 'Cilla. He should tell her no but he's missed her, missed being like this. "If you wanna."

Her choice, not his for once because he's not in any state to choose anything for anyone. Her reply is simply to scoot closer to him and start to doze off. Somehow her presence- or maybe it's just whatever the hospital has him on has him dozing off before he can even really register what's happening.

Jerry leaves some time and that's the only explanation Elvis has for the paper he finds on the little table by his bed and the only explanation he has for his father looking so dejected in the chair that Jerry had formerly been in. At some point his glasses had been taken off and he nudges at Priscilla to see if she can find them as he grabs the paper and tries to focus on the words in front of him. He can't quite read it until Priscilla comes back with his glasses and there's a part of him that wishes she hadn't have brought them after he does read.

“The hell is this?” He asks his lips curling into a pure snarl as he stares down at the paper.

“A bill for services rendered by Jamboree Attractions." His father answers, pursing his lips and exhaling as he does. "The Colonel dropped it off while you were sleeping with Priscilla."

"While I was sleepin', course the goddamn toad did." Because the Colonel can't ever do anything normal, can't give him the decency he knows he deserves. His eyes zero in on one note in particular that has him sitting up and has Priscilla stopping even the vaguest attempt to sit back in the bed with him. “Gas for- I didn’t ask him to come to the hayride! How- is this thing full of bullshit like this?”

Vernon for his part doesn't look phased at the question and shrugs. "I don't know, son, that's why I'm here, I figure we can look over it and- talk to the Colonel. Make arrangements-"

Priscilla cuts him off and places a short kiss to Elvis's forehead. "I'll be at the the hotel if you need me, baby."

Elvis watches her leave and frowns as she does before turning back to his father. "We'll look over it, but unless tha' arrangement ends in me still firin' 'im, I ain't payin' attention to it. I ain't takin' him back."

There's a long drawn out sigh that comes from Vernon before he looks at Elvis and shakes his head. "You might have to." A pause. "Let me see the damage, son."

It is more damage than he thought it would be.

[milla-frenchy]

I'm hooked you don't understand 😭

That beginning? You're such a baaaad girl, Nikki. I wanted to believe it, but of course the part of my brain who's not in total delulu mode was like "mouahahaha, you'll never get that so easily, jackass!"

And, yeah. My jackass side was in delulu, of course

So shy. So cute. I’m fucked, so very fucked, he thinks.

I LOVE IT 😍😍😍 he's fucked, we know it, he knows it, and I just love it

(also, I love how he reassures her, it's really cute I want him 🥹)

Vulnerability is thick in your voice as you break one of his rules and murmur, “J-Joel?”  “What’s wrong, baby?” His voice waivers, making you feel a little bit better.  “I’m nervous.”  He lowers his head towards yours, running the tip of his hooked nose down the slender bridge of yours. You close your eyes and take him all in. He’s warm and hard, yet somehow so soft. His familiar ash and leather scent is mixed with the expensive whiskey he drank earlier.  “So am I, sweet girl,” he whispers into your lips before kissing you softly.

Awwwww 🥹🥹🥹 I love her too, she's so real and cute and shy 😍😍😍

As confidently as possible you say, “I want to see your face up close when..” you take a shaky inhale, “When you see my cunt for the first time, Mister Miller.”  Before the last syllable has left your lips he’s across the room, lifting you off the ground by the back of your thighs. You instinctively wrap your legs around him and gasp at the sudden pressure right where you’re aching for him.  “I have memorized every answer from your preferences,” he growls into your collar bone, walking you around the bed. “I have strategically planned what I’m going to teach you and then you say stuff like that and fuck. I have to fight every sick and twisted thought I have, sweet girl.” He climbs onto the bed, laying you down just how he wants you, “You have no idea what you do to me. How out of control you make me feel.” 

jfc I'm gonna fucking scream it's soooooo good ❤️❤️❤️

Joel knew that tonight would either make or break him. As his name spills sweetly from your perfect pouty lips he feels it, the same tug behind his belly button that he felt with Tiffany, that his grandpa said was how he’d know when he found something special; something to hold onto. 

I'm fucking speechless

“Poor baby,” he mocks, tsking at you. He kisses right above your clit and you gasp. He’s close enough to know the heat of his breath is going to have you squirming and he can’t wait to watch how beautiful you’ll look doing it. “So wet. Smells so good. Fuck, She’s right in front of me but I already miss her. You look so soft and tight. Goddamn, you’re gonna have me breakin’ all my rules, sweet girl.”

Yes, YES break them goddamn it 😍😍😍

Joel repeats and then sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I think I’m fucked, Tommy.” Tommy puts his glass down and turns to face Joel, gripping his shoulder. “Are you ending it with all your other subs for this girl?” Joel takes a long sip from his crystal highball glass. Repeating the only word he seems to know lately, “Yep.” Tommy lets out a breath, “Shit. Ya, you’re definitely fucked.” “Tiff told me to find someone who scares me. This fucking scares me, man.” Joel finishes off his whiskey, and even though there’s a drink limit, the glass is refilled before it’s even hit the table. “This is - I just - I ain’t felt like this in a long time.” Tommy smiles at Joel, “I’m happy for ya, man. And look, as long as you aren’t keepin’ her panties then it’s probably not as bad as you think.”  Joel pulls that nude thong from his pocket and puts it on the bar top as he finishes off his second glass of whiskey and then waves the bartender off, silently signaling that he’s done.  “Shit, so you are fucked then?” Tommy laughs. 

All this Joel/Tommy part was so good, the confession omg

(did he jerk off after that???? whaaaaaaat, I had to ask 😇)

BDSMaid - Chapter 4

Series Summary: After recently graduating you take what is supposed to be a job to save money before you go back to university to get your law degree. Your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. Easy. Simple. Mundane. Until one of your clients is home and everything you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.

Chapter Summary: JMKink is nothing and everything that you need and want it to be. Meanwhile, you are nothing and everything that Joel imagines you to be.

WC: 13.8k

TW: Warnings are below the cut in small red, feel free to skip them if you want to avoid chapter spoilers, but there are some descriptions of reader so I would classify this as more of an original character versus a blank canvas female reader.

AN: I actually cannot believe how many of you reached out all excited about September 1st approaching. From the bottom of my cold dead heart, thank you!! The more I write this, the more I picture video game Joel, so do with that what you will haha. Thanks so @ak-vintage and @lotusbxtch for beta reading for me. Support banners and dividers by @saradika-graphics. I recently got promoted at work (yay me), but the job is now waaaaaay more work than before, so enjoy this chapter slowly because I am not sure when I will be writing chapter 5.

Series Masterlist || My Masterlist

TW: p in v, dirty talk, sub dom relationships, age gap, alcohol consumption, flirting, voyeurism, description of a threesome and other sexual acts, use of sex toys, nipple clamps, female orgasm, talks of neglectful parents during childhood and loss of a spouse. Mutual pining.

“Hnnng, fuck yes, daddy.” He’s rutting into you deeper than anyone else ever has. Long, slow strokes of his heavy cock sending you into a spiral of white hot, sparkling nirvana. 

“So fuckin’ wet n’ tight. Fuck, sweet girl.” His deep voice devours you - rattling around your skull, echoing slightly as if you’re in a large, empty room. 

Everything is black; darker than the onyx pits of his eyes. You’re not sure if you’re up or down, and you’re either blindfolded or have your face buried in a pillow as he fucks into you from behind. All you can feel is the pleasurable push and pull of his thick, vein lined cock slamming in and out of you. The vast darkness and the feeling of him filling you so full is overwhelming

“Please, daddy. Please. I’m so close.”

The soft mushroom head of his cock is kissing right where he taught you to crave it, and you wouldn’t be surprised if that spongy spot had ‘Property of Joel Miller’ branded on it by now. Within seconds of him pressing inside of you tonight you had completely submitted to him; surrendering to the darkness, the sensation, the exquisite pleasure. This is exactly where you were meant to be, and he’s the only one you’d want to be here with. It has never been this good, and even with your limited experience you know that it will probably never be this good with anyone else. 

“Don’t stop this time. Please don’t stop this time.” You’re an aching, crying, desperate crumb of yourself; wholly at his mercy.  

“No coming until I say.” His voice seems further away with every word and dread settles in your stomach as it all starts to fade.

“No! Nonono. Please no.” You feel a hot tear run down your face as the euphoria fades. You can barely feel or hear him anymore as little slits of yellow light appear. You blink once, twice. After a third long blink your bedroom comes into view.

Fuck. 

This has been the start of your new three part morning routine for the last few nights, since that kiss with Joel, since filling out your preferences and signing all the waivers. Since being asked to submit test results and proof of birth control. Since Joel Miller became your Dom. Night after night you dream of him fucking you, and night after night, right as you’re about to fall over the edge, he tells you not to come until he says and you wake up.

The second part of your morning routine is a lot more cathartic and vocal - very vocal. Your newly painted cotton candy pink nails (anything to stay distracted and busy) dig into the soft cotton of your pillow as you pull it out from behind your head, pressing it to your face and screaming until your throat feels raw.

Fuck.

When all the breath is pushed from your lungs, you put your pillow back and kick off the blanket. Your bare feet drag along the worn down carpet of your bedroom to the cold and cheap linoleum of your bathroom. You pee, avoiding your clit at all costs when you clean up. You know you’re down fucking bad when even the scratchy 1-ply toilet paper is enough to make you almost crumble. 

Part three of your new morning ritual is probably the part that shocks you the most. You change into leggings and a tank top, slipping a ten dollar bill and your house key into the side of your sports bra. The old springs of your mattress creak as you sit to slip on socks and your lavender colored runners, that you honestly forgot you owned until the morning after your twenty second birthday. You sneak out of your apartment, careful not to wake your roommate and jog down the stairs from your fourth floor suite to step into the cool March morning air.

Fuck. 

After shaking out each leg, you start to run. There’s no technique to your form or a planned out route. You leave your phone behind, only sounds are the morning traffic and your struggling breath to keep you company. It's just you, pushing your body to forget how badly you’re throbbing between your thighs and trying to erase the feeling of him. As you turn the corner at the end of your block you can see the bright green grass and leafy trees of the park. Your calf muscles burn with every step, but it’s not enough; you can still feel him. As you reach the park your lungs start to burn; they feel like they’re filling with fluid. Your ankles protest with every strike of your feet against the concrete. Finally, just as you swear you’re about to meet your maker it happens, the sweet release you’re pushing for. Finally every trace of the ghost of Joel Miller disappears. 

Your legs slow below you and you clutch your side, wandering lazily around the park. The rush of blood through your ears is nearly deafening, almost completely drowning out the chirping of the birds and the trickling of the water in the large stone fountain. You suck in quick, deep breaths, essentially doing everything and anything not to pass out. You’re free from him, if only for a little bit, as you fight against what feels like death knocking on your door. 

As you walk home you grab a coffee - black with just a splash of almond milk, apologizing to the barista as you hand her the sweaty ten dollar bill that was tucked into your bra and begin mentally scheduling your day. It’s Monday, which means you don’t work today and you can focus on studying and laundry. Your LSAT retake is just a few days away, today is your last full free day, and you have to get as much studying and practicing done as possible. The dread of taking that test again has your hot coffee doing flips in your stomach. Getting some college letters would really help put you at ease. You know you applied early but it would be nice to know if you need to continue to push or if you can finally rest. 

When you get back to your apartment your roommate has already left for her classes. You check your phone and your heart lurches in your chest at Joel’s name across your cracked lock screen. There’s been no contact between the two of you since Friday night. You slide open the text with shaky fingers

Good Morning, sweet girl. Are you ready to learn? 

You bite your lip as you respond. 

Yes, please, Mr Miller. 

You stare at the text thread for a while. Although you aren’t sure if a total of three texts can be considered a thread, but you stare anyway trying to will more messages into existence. After a few minutes you give up, locking your phone and stripping your bedsheets. The trek to the laundry in the building feels like it takes forever and you rush back to check your phone. There’s no response but you do have a little red bubble on your JMK app. You excitedly tap on the app to see a new menu titled ‘Dominant Preferences’ added at the top. When you click it, everything from your Reddit wormholes is revealed.

 ‘Joel Miller likes to participate in bondage play, nipple play, toy play, dirty talk, oral sex (both giving and receiving), and fingering. He doesn’t like brat taming, but is willing to participate in scenes where his submissive needs to be put in her place occasionally. He never has sexual intercourse - vaginal or anal, this is a hard limit for him and his submissives need to understand that there is zero room for negotiation on this matter. He’s very open to impact play, but believes that only good girls should get spankings.’

You click off the little ‘Read and Accepted’ box at the bottom without hesitation. As if he’s waiting for you to accept, he texts you seconds after your finger has made contact with the screen. 

8pm tomorrow. I’m sending a car for you. You should dress comfortably.

The same kind faced man from your birthday waits for you outside your apartment at 7:30 the next night. He opens the door, smiling gently at you as you hop in; leather and new car smell wafting around you. During the drive to the club you learn his name is Arthur, but my friends call me Cap. 

“Can I ask you a question, Cap?” You ask as downtown comes into view.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Do you drive all of Joel’s, umm, do you drive lots of women around for Joel?”

He chuckles knowingly from the driver's seat, glancing into the rearview mirror at you. “No ma’am. Joel is a pretty secretive man. I have driven him places when he’s alone, or I drive Tommy’s subs, but never Joels.”

You nod and look out the window. It’s just you, sweet girl, only you.

Cap rushes to open the door when he pulls up to JMKink. The club is in a different building than Joel’s office; that was in the tall building across the street. Three bright and expansive floors of that red stone faced building belonged to JM Inc. Assumingly, the home base for all the businesses he has his hands in. This building, however, is smaller amongst the tall skyscrapers of the Austin skyline. The entire building is coated in a shiny black chrome, from the steel framing to the windows, except for the golden JMK logo on the front door. You take a calming breath before heading up the steps, the blacked out glass door slides open automatically.

Your dark high heeled boots click on the black and honey flecked marble, the floor reminding you of Joel’s eyes. You wish the marble would suck you into it so you could live in that feeling you get when Joel looks at you. Where it might be seen as cold and intimidating to others, to you it feels warm and inviting, almost familiar, and that little box of feelings in the back of your mind stirs a little bit. 

He told you to dress comfortably tonight, and you felt most at ease in a deep green sweater dress and knee high heeled boots. The dress just barely skims your thighs, making your legs look long and toned. You could use a tan, but it’s only March, everyone in Texas could use a tan at this point. You left your hair down in loose curls and kept your makeup minimal, as always. 

There are three people in the small foyer. Two stunning women stand behind the hostesses desk in matching black dresses and collars. To the right of them stands a man who looks like he could kill you with his pinkie. He’s also dressed in all black, and stands in front of a large door. Everything here seems like it’s meant to intimidate but all you can see and feel is the safety that comes with knowing Joel Miller. 

One of the women looks up at you, smiling comfortingly and asks for your name. Before you can respond, Joel's honey lined voice answers her. The sound of your name on his tongue feels like taking a breath of fresh winter air. Goosebumps break out across your skin, your own breath leaping in your throat as you spin slowly to meet his gaze. There’s no other way to around it, Joel Miller is fucking exquisite. His slightly outgrown curls are pushed back, silver reflecting off his temples and throughout his beard. Tonight he’s wearing a deep midnight blue Tom Ford suit with one jacket button done up, underneath he’s wearing a crisp white t-shirt, paired with brown dress shoes and what you assume will be a matching belt. One of his hands is tucked in the pocket of pants that literally look like they weren’t made for him, the other hangs loose at his side and you catch that gold ring again.  

He doesn’t take his eyes off you as he speaks to everyone in the lobby, “You’re all to remember her name. She is my guest, my only guest, and as far as you’re all concerned she’s the most important person in this club. Understand?”

The little box of feelings lifts its lid a little. No, you say to the box, banishing it back to its dark corner.

A jumbled mess of ‘yes’ and ‘sorry’ fills the lobby but the only thing that’s clear to you is Joel as he wanders over, placing his hand on the small of your back, and leading you towards the large black door that the lethal looking man is guarding. As he pulls you into his side his voice quiets, his words a low growl meant only for you. “Hi, sweetheart.” When he sponges a soft kiss to your temple you press your lips together to stop the giggle that’s trying to burst out of you. Joel Miller makes you giddy in a way that you haven’t felt since you were much younger and saw a One Direction music video for the first time. 

This afternoon, you had your easily predicted moment of panic. As with every decision you’ve ever made, you started to think that this wasn’t the right one. Maybe Tommy was the safer choice. Maybe you’ve bit off more than you can chew, or girlbossed too close to the proverbial sun. Or in kink terms, flirted too closely with the St Andews Cross. But now, being here tucked tightly against Joel's side as he guides you into your first experience with the world of kink you couldn’t feel any more sure of your decision. 

You hold your breath as the shiny black marble door opens, this feels like one of those big climatic moments you see in the movies, like you know the main character's life is about to change, and a nervous excitement buzzes through your veins. As the club comes into view it’s nothing like you thought. For starters, there aren’t cages or naked people around, and at first glance it looks just like a lounge in a high end hotel or restaurant. JMKink is beautiful, breathtaking.

 Light pine flooring is set in a herringbone pattern across the entire club. Directly in front of you are a few tall tables and then, situated in the middle of the space, is a large black marble bar. The bartender is surrounded by a halo of soft chiffon light that casts down from a brushed gold chandelier. The tables and bar top have tealight candles on them, making the entire thing feel sensual and soft. It’s just dimly lit enough that you can’t see beyond the bar from here. Joel guides you gently to the right. The booths that line the wall are only illuminated by the flickering candle on the table. Three of the booths are roped off, guarded by a tank of a man in a black suit. As Joel leads you towards them, you notice each of those tables have a gold plated reserved sign along with a name; Joel, Tommy and Tess. 

Confusion swirls in your brain at the romantic feeling the club gives off. Part of you expected to walk into a sex dungeon or that red room that Christian took Anastasia to, but you definitely weren’t expecting this. If this place was just a bit brighter you could imagine studying here on weekends. 

This isn’t a sex club, there’s no way.

As you slide into the furthest booth you’re able to see a small stage on the back wall and empty dance floor looking area on the other side of the bar. You can feel Joel’s warm gaze on you as you look around with wide eyes. Right when you’re almost convinced that you interpreted the information you found on Reddit wrong, your eyes land on the far left side of the room.

No, now that you see if from this angle, you are indeed in a kink club; a well stocked kink club based on the entire sex shop in the corner. You feel your cheeks flush and you dart your eyes towards Joel, pushing at your cuticle under the table, smiling shyly at him.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?” His voice is syrupy and warm as two drinks land on the table. Whiskey neat for him and some sort of pink martini for you.

“Nothing..I just, it’s not what I expected,” you swallow the sand that’s found its way into your throat at seeing all those sex toys just out on display in the corner and flick your eyes towards your drink.

“That's a cosmopolitan. I can get you something else if you want, sweetheart. The female staff here seems to love them.”

“No, I should have said thank you. I’m sorry.” His hand comes to meet yours as it’s picking furiously at the non-existent skin of your nail bed. He wraps his hand tightly around yours, and brings them to rest on the top of the table together.

“Take a breath, sweet girl. You’re ok.” His words wrap around you tightly, calming you. You’re ok. Your heart rate slows and you relax into the plush velvet lined booth a little bit, smiling sheepishly up at Joel. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” Your free hand grabs the martini glass and you bring it to your nose, it smells like cranberry and lime.

As you take a small sip Joel says, “You really don’t have to drink it, baby girl. I can get you whatever.”

The vodka burns away any sand that remains in your throat. It’s tart, and dangerously delicious. You can see yourself getting very fucked up these with your girlfriends one day soon. “No, I like it. Thank you.”

After putting the glass safely on the table, Joel lets go of your hand, wraps his arm around your waist and slides you across the seat, pressing you to his side. “Is this ok?”

JOEL

His cock twitches at the little hum you make in agreement. You lift your leg closest to him and rest it over his under the table. He squeezes your side gently, sinking into the comfort of you and grabs his whiskey. “So if this isn’t what you thought, what were you expecting?”

He loves the way you blush a little before answering him. “People just, you know, it’s a sex club, so just having sex here.”

He lowers his head to yours and whispers just for you, “There are people having sex here, sweet girl.”

He laughs to himself as your eyes narrow and you look around at the other people in the bar. “Not out here, just because you’re in a sex club doesn’t mean you have to consent to seeing or hearing people fuck. Or to be having sex yourself, really.” He loves the way you look at him with surprise at his boldness. He cocks his head towards a guarded door between the stage and booths along the wall, “But behind that door - well, people are indulging as we speak.”

He watches the small shiver of your spine, pulling back to take a sip of his whiskey, allowing you time to look around and become comfortable in your surroundings. He watches your perfect lips part, finding himself jealous of the rim of the glass as you take another sip. Great, first spoons and now glasses. As he watches your neck work to liquid down he says, “So did you leave that little pussy alone like I asked?”

Your head whips to face him, he can’t quite place your facial expression. It’s a twisted  mix of fear, shyness and embarrassment, like you’re worried that someone may have heard him say pussy; but if you only knew the kinds of things happening in this club right now.

“What?” you ask shakily.

“Did you come? Or did you listen?”

“Umm…I,” he can tell that you’re flustered, and he finds you nearly irresistible like this.

“Are you nervous, sweet girl?”

He’s not sure if you realize it, but when you’re tense and he calls you by that nickname you relax a little. Your shoulders lower, the little crease in between your eyebrows softens. “No,” you say, and he’s not convinced.

Joel deepens his voice, a voice he only intends to use when you’re at the club together. Or when she’s in my bedroom. He pushes any thoughts of you outside of the confines of this space away, “Lesson number one, don’t lie to your Dom. We have to be able to trust each other.”

You look up at him through your lashes and it damn near kills him. You’re so beautiful, absolutely glowing against all the black in the room. The soft golden light bounces off of every little perfect piece of you; from the deep cupid's bow above your top lip, to the caramel highlights in your hair. He can tell by the long breath you suck in that you’re about to do that adorable thing where you ramble. “I’m nervous, but it’s an excited kind of nervous. And no, I didn’t…that thing.” 

He can’t fight the smile at your shyness, “Lesson number two, If you can’t say it then you shouldn’t be here. What thing, sweet girl?”

You close your eyes and say, “Come,” and then open your eyes to look at him again. 

So shy. So cute. I’m fucked, so very fucked, he thinks. He takes another pull of his whiskey if only to keep his hands and lips busy and to himself. He usually enjoys the burn but with you beside him it tastes sweeter.

As you bring your martini glass to your lips he commands, “One more time, this time look at me when you say it.”

Over your glass, sparkling eyes locked on him you mumble, “I didn’t come, Joel.”

“That reminds me. Lesson number three, as soon as we cross the threshold into my private room, you will refer to me as Mister Miller only. Out here, and anywhere else, I can be Joel, but in there,” he tilts his head towards a door on the other side of the stage, this one isn’t guarded, instead there’s a security pad that you need to have a microchip to unlock, “In there, I’m Mister Miller. Understand?”

He watches your throat again as you swallow, the palm of his hand tingles at the thought of wrapping his hand around it again. One of your eyebrows raises just a touch and he knows that cheeky little line of your lips. “Yes, Mister Miller.”

Your voice is husky as you say it and this time it’s him who has to fight the goosebumps rising on his skin and the icy shiver trailing down his spine. So perfect. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You don’t make eye contact with him when you say it, like you fear he might say no and he has a feeling that whoever made you feel that you needed to make plans A through Z also told you are a burden for asking questions. Joel isn’t a violent man, but would happily ring whoever’s neck did this to you.

“Of course, sweet girl.”

You turn to face him, taking a sip of your martini before you say, “Why did you send me into your basement that day?”

Joel clears his throat, weighing how transparent he wants to be in his answer, but there’s no hiding it after what he said to you in his office last week. “I’m not always going to be nice to you here, sweet girl. I’m going to push you, I might even hurt you. Yes, it’s all consensual, but I didn’t want you thinkin’ I’m some sort of monster.”

He watches as you take a long pull of the pink liquid from your glass. You set it back on the table, the earlier tremble of your hand gone as you reply, “Thank you for being honest with me. I don’t think I could ever see you as a monster, Mister Miller. I need this.”

The devious smile you give him has his cock come to life. He doesn’t fuck his subs, but he would take you right here in this booth if he could. “Would you like a tour of the club?”

Your eyes light up, “Can I bring my drink?”

“Anywhere out here, yes. But not behind those two doors.” He takes the last drink from his whiskey and then watches as you take two big gulps to finish your Cosmopolitan. Your nose crinkles at what he assumes is the burn of the vodka.

“So fuckin’ cute,” Joel says quietly, and hopefully just to himself, as he slides out of the booth.

No, you say to the little box of feelings when you overhear his whispered words, don’t start with me right now.

You follow him as he heads towards the store in the corner. Even with the condoms, dildos, plugs, gags, whips, lube and all sorts of other things on display it’s somehow still classy and beautiful. Lots of these things you’ve never seen before, or had any desire to play with, but you’re pretty sure you’d try almost anything with Joel. 

He nods at the man working the store counter and then walks you around the main area, his voice thick with passion as he speaks. “Usually on Friday and Saturday nights there's more of a nightclub feel, couples who like to swap partners can mingle with the room. This is a safe space, monogamous couples aren’t offended by the attention and everyone stays very respectful of others wishes and limits. There’s a drink limit of course, keeping things safe and consensual is my utmost priority.”  

You walk slowly, crossing the middle of the currently unoccupied dance floor, “That stage is often used for workshops or shows. This is a place to learn just as much as it’s a place to enjoy sex and kink. We have a new workshop coming up next week actually.”

The two of you stop beside the guarded door - the door Joel said people were indulging behind. You can’t help but be curious about what's happening back there, but you’re also desperately horny and unsure how you might react to whatever is unfolding in the dark. The man standing in front of the door is also dressed in a black suit, this seems to be the uniform of those who work at JM Kink, he says a cordial, “Good Evening, Joel.” Then nods at you and adds, “Miss.”

You jump as Joel’s hand connects with yours, his strong fingers linking with your slender ones. He spins you to face him. His freehand cups your chin, the band of his ring cold against your pink flushed skin. He tilts your face up to meet his, seriousness etched across his face. “My sweet girl, behind that door can be a bit intense at first. You’re an adult, but you shouldn’t have to see anything you don’t want to see. So you’re in charge in there. If you want to leave, we leave. If you want to cover your eyes, do it and I’ll lead you away. On the contrary, if you see something you like and want to get closer, then get closer. If you have questions, just ask. Ok?”

You nod, and Joel leads you through what you hope is the second life changing door of the night. The air feels different on this side of the threshold, something about it makes you feel like you’ve been plugged into a low voltage socket, you’re buzzing in an exciting and dangerous way. It’s dark enough in here that you can’t see your black boots as they click quietly against the hardwood. Joel's strong hand comes around your waist, tucking you into the side of his body protectively. After taking a deep breath, the familiar ash and leather scent of Joel intoxicating and calming your senses, you look up.

You and Joel stand intertwined at one end of a long rectangular room. Across from where you stand and down to your left and right the wall is lined with large windows. On the side of the hallway where you stand are plush chairs and couches, some of which are occupied by singles or couples as they watch what’s happening beyond the windows. 

You wonder if it gets easier, standing in a dark hall where you can watch people fucking. Joel is so calm, like a still glassy sea, meanwhile you are fighting against the tides. He stands almost statuesque, his thumb rubbing calming circles on your hip, while keeping you tucked safely into him. He has made it clear that you’re in charge here, so staying in the shadows as much as possible, you wander towards the first window. As if he’s another limb on your body, Joel follows you effortlessly. 

Your heart thumps in your chest as you approach the first window. The room has a large bed that remains untouched. A man is tied to a chair at the end of the bed with black silk ties, and you stifle a gasp at the painful looking device he has clamped around his hard cock. You can hear his whines through the ball gag, and the moans of pleasure from the woman spread eagle on the floor in front of him as she fucks herself with a large dildo.

Joel’s soft stubble brushes against your ear as he whispers, “We won’t be doing that.”

“Looks fun for me,” you giggle and he lightly pinches your hip.

The next window has the blinds drawn, little slits of light illuminating the edges is the only sign that someone is in the room. “You can choose to let people watch or not watch, as well as how much you want those in the voyeur area to hear when you rent the rooms,” Joel explains softly as you approach the next open window.

The bed in this room is occupied by three people. A curvy woman is lying down on her back, a copper skinned man with a shaved head has his face buried in her pussy while a fully tattoed beefcake of man fucks his ass. The look of pure pleasure on all their faces has your clit twitching and aching. And when Joel lowers himself to your ear the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 

“We also won’t be doing that,” Joel’s voice is so light and carefree. For a second you forget that any minute now he’s going to use that deep baritone voice to boss you around while you’re completely naked.

“Again, it also looks fun for me,” you joke, and a small smile crosses your lips as you feel Joel’s body shake with silent laughter beside yours. There’s about ten windows in this room from what you can see, most are closed or dark, probably since it’s a weekday. You lead the two of you down the room to the next open window. “Can they see us?”

“Not unless you get close to the glass,” he instructs. You stop in your tracks at the next window. Despite your teasing with Joel the last two were not your thing, but this window you could easily watch for a while. A man and a woman lay on the large red silk sheeted bed while hundreds of battery operated candles flicker around them. He’s on top of her, one of her legs slung over his shoulder, the other around his waist. As you step closer you can see a sparkly, thin layer of sweat coating both their bodies as they slowly grind together, kissing passionately. You take another step closer, if they want to be seen then it shouldn’t matter if they see you. Once you’re close enough you can hear the gentle moans she’s making as he thrusts slowly in and out of her. 

“Well,” you say softly, leaning into Joel’s side and looking up into his warm chocolate eyes, “That doesn’t look so bad.”

He cranes his neck and places a lingering kiss on your forehead and as your eyelids flutter closed you can no longer deny just how turned on you are. He pulls back to look at you, smiling slightly before saying, “When I first got here he had her hogtied and was paddling her.”

“Like I said,” you say while giggling softly, “That doesn’t look so bad.” 

The two of you watch them for a while as they fuck languidly. This should feel wrong, watching something so personal, but the beauty of them together like this is comforting and almost inviting. Her cries grow louder and as she starts to shake he pauses his hips, fully seated inside of her while whispering and smiling down at her, pushing her sweat soaked hair off her forehead. The love behind the glass is so palpable that you feel yourself getting choked up a little. 

Just as you’re about to ask Joel to take you to his room, you notice another window with about five people lined up along the glass. Curiosity gets the better of you and you lead Joel the few steps to see what’s going on. No longer feeling nervous or shy, you step right up to the glass. This time, Joel moves his body to be behind yours, pulling your back against his strong body. One of his arms wraps around your middle, the other sweeps your hair to one side and then rests gently on your shoulder. 

The set up of this room is similar to the others you’ve seen: a large bed to the right, a chair to the left, and a chest of drawers to the back. There’s a woman strapped face up on the bed, wrists and ankles bound to the four posts of the frame. Her perky breasts rise and fall rapidly with her breathing. At the back of the room, a broad tanned man faces away from you, looking through a drawer for something. As your eyes travel up his back from his hard, round ass cheeks he spins to face the window. You step back into Joel as Tommy Miller’s gaze flicks to the people along the window and then to the sub he’s chosen for the night. 

In your sane mind you tell yourself that you should look away. It's one thing to watch strangers but watching someone you sort of know feels like an invasion of their privacy. Plus, there’s no way Joel wants to see his brother like this. As if he can read your mind, Joel's lips brush against your neck, “I’m right here, sweet girl. Tommy likes an audience, he’s an exhibitionist, and lots of members come just to watch him.” 

You glance up at Joel and he smiles softly. Your voice is just above a whisper, “Can we watch for a bit?” 

“You’re in charge, sweetheart.” He patiently reminds you as you nod and look back towards the room.

The horny demon that seems to have taken over your body since catching Joel in his office has you dying to see more: more sex, more kink, more Tommy. Without consciously controlling it, your eyes travel down his tanned chest, to the hair around his belly button and then down to his fully erect cock. You can’t help but appreciate the beauty of his body, he looks like he’s carved out of stone, and that includes his cock. He’s decently long, but thick, a prominent vein running along one side of it. It’s slightly upturned and the head is smooth and glistening with precome. He looks so powerful and the small fire that’s been building in your stomach grows.  

You bite at your bottom lip nervously, crossing your arms to rest on top of the one Joel has wrapped around you. Tommy walks over to the bed; grasped in one of his large hands is a black vibrator, his other holds a small glass jar housing a lit candle. He climbs onto the bed, then drizzles hot wax along the woman's thighs. Her back arches off the bed and through the speakers along the glass you hear her pained moans. Tommy watches her intently, his lips moving but you can’t hear what he’s saying. Once she’s settled back on the bed, Tommy places the vibrator on her clit.

She writhes and pulls at the velvety cuffs holding her to the bed. “Sir, oh god, I’m - I’m gonna - Sir, fuck, I’m gonna come.”

When she calls him sir you see the dark flash of obsidian across his eyes, the same look when you called him that at the poker game. Through your research, you know that doms have preferred names and your cheeks flush a little at the thought of accidentally using his with him. 

Tommy pulls the vibrator away right before she falls over the edge and drizzles wax on her stomach. She cries out with more desperation this time, and then again, once she’s calm Tommy places the vibrator between her thighs. It’s suddenly hard to breathe and when you step back into Joel you feel his cock is hard against your back and a fresh wave of arousal coats the lace of your panties. 

Tommy takes the vibrator away as she starts shaking and moaning, then hot wax splashes down her sternum. You feel antsy, like little pins and needles are pricking along your entire body. You squeeze your thighs together, Joel's warm breath against your neck causes you to shudder. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” he hums.

“N-nothing.”

“You sure? You’re squirmin’.” His hand runs slowly down your arm, your hands moving on their own so he can wrap you in his muscle lined arms. A light kiss lands just below your ear and you bite back a moan.  

The combination of not being allowed to have an orgasm, the feeling of Joel’s warm body pressed against you, and the erotic scenes you’ve witnessed tonight is almost too much. It’s also not lost on you that that could have been you in there with Tommy right now. Your clit is throbbing between your legs, and you aren’t sure if you have ever been this turned on. 

Joel smiles into your skin as you watch Tommy tease his sub with the vibrator again, “Do you like what you’re seein’?”

You nod, trying to calm your breathing. It hitches as he adds, “Would you like to try that one day?”

Wax hits one of her nipples, the beads hardening along the peak of her perky, round breast. You adjust your stance to cross your legs together, squeezing hard to ease the almost painful ache at the apex of your thighs. Her and Tommy speak softly to one another, he smiles down at her, puts the candle down and then adjusts himself between her legs, spreading the lips of her puffy pussy with two fingers and putting the vibrator right where you know it would ruin you. 

“Would you?” Joel repeats.

“Yes, Mister Miller.” You say, your voice shaky, almost like it’s impossible to form words as you look up at him. He’s so beautiful in the shadowy light, his tanned skin almost seems to glow against the darkness.  

His eyes dance around your face, his voice comes out soft and sensual, quiet enough for just you to hear, “Do you want to go play now, sweet girl?”

You bite your cheek to try to fight the smile, but as Joel’s eyes flick to your lips it’s no use. A shy smile tugs at the corners of your soft pink lips. “Are you going to let me come?”

He looks at you the same way he did when you drank the water and ate that toast. Pride. He’s proud of you for asking for what you want, and you can almost feel your insecurity and fear around asking for things starting to shrink. 

The softness in his voice morphs into a growl, “If you’re a good girl.”

You spin your body towards him, determination lacing your face. “I can be your good girl, Mister Miller.”

Joel’s strong fingers link with yours and a quiet giggle passes your lips as he hauls you towards a door in the shadows close to where you two entered. Truthfully, if it wasn't for the little red light on the security pad, you wouldn’t have even known there was a door there. He waves his ring past the device and after a quiet beep sounds the light flashes green and the door clicks open. He pulls you through and as soon as Joel hears the final click of the door closing he hauls you over his shoulder. Your squeal at your world literally turning upside down with his brute strength melts into an aroused moan as his strong hands grasp the back of your bare thighs.

When Joel stops walking, you tear your eyes away from his perfectly sculpted ass, like these pants must be stuffed, there’s no way this man has a better ass than me. You glance up to see two other doors; assumingly belonging to Tommy and Tess. A familiar beep sounds in the quiet hall and your throat goes dry as he steps into his room. He takes a few long strides before sliding you down his muscle lined chest and placing you at the foot of the bed. He stays close, your breasts just barely grazing his warm body. Your gazes are locked, and even though you’ve grown comfortable with his intense need for eye contact your breathing still goes shaky and uneven. 

Oh fuck, this is it. 

His hand cradles your cheek, “You read and signed off on everything in the app, but I want to reiterate a few things, baby girl.”

You swallow hard, his finger now tracing down your throat and you swear you can feel every whorl of his fingertips as they trail along your soft skin. 

“From now on, you belong to me and I belong to you. No one else. You are not allowed to come unless I say.” 

His hand continues its road trip of your body, settling to wrap around the nape of your neck. “Y-Yes, Mister Miller.” 

“I have a no sex rule. I’ll give you orgasms, I’ll fuck you with my fingers and toys, even my tongue, but not my cock. I need you to understand that my rule is nothing against you, sweetheart. Are you ok with that?”

“Yes, sir, Mister Miller,” you coo. The nervous excitement from early has returned, every bit of skin that he’s touching is almost humming, butterflies with sharp wings scrape at your stomach. You bring your hands to the lapels of his expensive blue suit, fisting the soft fabric.  

“Fuuck,” he moans, “That sounds so pretty coming out of your mouth, sweet girl.” 

You smile up at him. He squeezes the back of your neck gently, his other hand cradling your chin between his thumb and forefinger. The rough pad of his thumb caresses your chin. “Nothin’ tonight that will require a safeword-”

“Stegosaurus,” you say eagerly, cutting him off. It’s silly really, but that little dinosaur on top of his coffee machine is what first intrigued you about the anonymous millionaire whose home had been assigned to you to clean. It also has some sort of meaning to him, so it seemed only natural for that to be your safeword. 

He smiles, laughing gently, “Not tonight, baby. If you want to stop tonight, just say so and I’ll stop. Ok?” 

Your pussy flutters at the unexpected moments to come, but a gnawing anxiety starts to claw at your chest. You’re not sure what causes the shift, but suddenly you go from excited nervous to just plain nervous. Am I ready to give up control? What if he sees me naked and doesn’t like it. He said it was only me, what if he regrets that decision? 

Your chest tightens, the knife-winged butterflies multiplying and traveling up your throat. Joel must sense a shift in you, he steps closer to you and softens his eyes as they dance around your face, a silent sign that he’s patiently waiting for you. If you said you wanted to go home you know he would kiss you softly and call your new friend Cap, but you don’t want that. You want this, you want whatever is about to happen; you just need to let go.

Vulnerability is thick in your voice as you break one of his rules and murmur, “J-Joel?” 

“What’s wrong, baby?” His voice waivers, making you feel a little bit better. 

“I’m nervous.” 

He lowers his head towards yours, running the tip of his hooked nose down the slender bridge of yours. You close your eyes and take him all in. He’s warm and hard, yet somehow so soft. His familiar ash and leather scent is mixed with the expensive whiskey he drank earlier. 

“So am I, sweet girl,” he whispers into your lips before kissing you softly. You melt into him, his hands moving to cup your face. His soft lips sponge against yours and everything quiets. You’re not sure how he does it, but kissing him feels like dunking your head under water, everything silences, all the nervousness dissipates. It’s just the two of you, floating in tandem in an endless void. 

He’s nervous too? Because of me? I make this strong, successful, brooding man nervous? Your inner voice of anxiety starts to settle. I’m safe here.

The comfort of your thoughts is enough to have you pulling yourself into Joel more. You increase the intensity of your kiss, turning your head and parting your lips slightly. He follows suit, running his soft tongue along yours. The air in the room has morphed, it’s saturated with passion and arousal. With just one kiss he’s managed to erase all your fears and worries, your mind is silent and ready for whatever instructions he’s going to give you. When he pulls away your both panting for breath.

He turns his back to you, sliding his dark blue suit jacket down, the white t-shirt underneath clinging with perfection to the muscle and sinew that pack on top of each other along his back. He drapes his jacket over a padded bench about five feet away from you; you know from your extensive research that that’s a spanking bench. He spins to face you, slipping his gold and black ring off his hand, keeping his eyes locked with yours as he drops it in a dish on top of a low chest of drawers on his left. You can’t describe it, but the sound of the gold clashing with the ceramic dish puts you in a trance. Like a ritualistic symbol that you are his now.

His hands slip into his pockets, his voice taking on its deep dominant tone, “We are going to start now. You can stay fully clothed or you can get as undressed as you feel comfortable being. I’m serious here, sweet girl. Leave on as little or as much as you want. When you’re done, lay face up on the bed.”

Without thinking your hands fly back to the zipper on your boots, you unzip them and toe them off. You don’t break eye contact as you grab the hem of your sweater dress and pull it up and over your body. As your vision is temporarily blocked by the knitted fabric you can feel his eyes on your bare skin. You’re left in just a matching nude bra and panty set. He’s already seen your tits so you don’t hesitate to unclasp your bra and let it fall away from your body. 

Joel swallows hard and licks his lips. “Beautiful,” he mumbles appreciatively and it coats your skin in warmth. 

You hesitate for a moment with your thumbs hooked in the waistband of your panties. You know they’re soaked through, and you’re sure he can see that from where he’s standing. He’s so fucking good at reading you, so you’re not surprised when he says, “Only take off what you feel comfortable with, my sweet girl.” 

“I do…I am…I w-want to…I just,” you fiddle with the band a bit. 

“You can say it.” He nods encouragingly.

“I like having them taken off me. I - I want to see your face up close when you…when you see it for the first time.” 

Joel smirks, popping his hip out to lean on the spanking bench. “See what the first time?” 

“Don’t make me say it, Mister Miller.” 

He clicks his tongue at you, “Mmm, but I love hearing that pretty little mouth say dirty words.” You stay silent, chewing your cheek as he continues. “Come on…say it. Say, I want to see your face up close when you see my cunt for the first time, Mister Miller.”

You feel your cheeks flush. Earlier tonight he asked you to look at him when you say it, so you roll your shoulders back and hold your head high. As confidently as possible you say, “I want to see your face up close when..” you take a shaky inhale, “When you see my cunt for the first time, Mister Miller.” 

Before the last syllable has left your lips he’s across the room, lifting you off the ground by the back of your thighs. You instinctively wrap your legs around him and gasp at the sudden pressure right where you’re aching for him. 

“I have memorized every answer from your preferences,” he growls into your collar bone, walking you around the bed. “I have strategically planned what I’m going to teach you and then you say stuff like that and fuck. I have to fight every sick and twisted thought I have, sweet girl.” He climbs onto the bed, laying you down just how he wants you, “You have no idea what you do to me. How out of control you make me feel.” 

Joel shuffles his body down, kissing down your sternum before cupping your tits. Pushing them together and sucking one of your nipples into his hot mouth. This is exactly what you’ve been fantasizing about since that moment in his office. His tongue is warm and soft as it flicks across your hardening nipple. He lightly rolls the other one between his fingers.  

“Please - oh god - please Mister Miller.” You moan needily. You try to arch into him, but his large body holds you down. 

He grazes his teeth along your nipple then looks up at you, “I’m gonna take care of you. Just relax.” 

You can’t take your eyes off him as he dives back in. Sucking and biting at your other nipple. You plant your feet on the mattress, hands tangling into his hair, as you try to grind your aching clit into his warm, hard stomach. 

“Stay still sweetheart,” He says between suckles. 

“I c-can’t. Please.”

He pinches both nipples hard, harder than you’re used to, and you whimper, freezing your hips. His voice is as deep as the obsidian in his gaze, “Stay still. I’m going to make you come. I promise. You need to trust me, relax.” 

The pressure on your nipples eases and you pout before letting yourself melt back into the mattress. He smirks, a dimple carving itself in the patchy scruff of his cheek. “That’s my girl. You like your nipples being played with?” 

The pad of his thumb ghosts over the tops of them, you shiver and moan, “Uh-huh.”

“Good. Then you’re going to enjoy what I have planned tonight.” He kisses your forehead and then climbs off the bed. You rise on your elbows, watching him as he pads across the room to a chest of drawers. He toes off his brown dress shoes and removes his belt before digging through a drawer. The actions were so simple, yet the domesticity of them has you fighting with your little box of feelings again.

No, you tell it silently as it inches out of the darkness. I am his sub and nothing more. The box seems to have grown a very annoying and persistent personality and it almost says, ‘but he’s nervous too’ back at you. 

He turns back to face you, snapping you out of your fight with the imaginary box in your brain. The same vibrator Tommy had is clasped in one hand, his other is palm up, cupping something that he’s shaking much like a gambler does with dice. 

“My sweet girl, you put a five for nipple clamps. Remind me, have you ever used them before?”

“No, Mister Miller.” 

He wanders lazily back over to the bed, and if he was anyone else you’d tell him to hurry up, but you never want to rush a single moment with Joel Miller. On top of that, you need to let him take control; he said he was going to make you come if you just relax and trust him, so that’s exactly what you’re going to do. He places the vibrator on the small table beside the bed and then sits beside you, holding out his free hand to help you sit up. 

He holds the clamps out to you and explains softly, “These are beginner clamps. See this little dial? I can control how tight they are.”

You watch his thick fingers along the dainty metal of the clamps, he’s so soft yet could have you crying with the snap of his fingers if he wanted. A fresh wave of arousal floods between your thighs completely ruining the panties he still hasn’t taken off your body. You nod and whisper, “Ok.”

“You control what happens here tonight. If you tell me that it hurts too much or to stop, I will.”

It’s time to show Joel just how good of a girl you can be, you look at him through your eyelash and sweetly coo, “Yes, Mister Miller.” 

A deep growl rumbles in his chest, “Fuck. Lay down..now.” 

You lay back, hair fanning around you. Joel stays seated on the edge of the bed beside you and lightly places the first clamp on your right nipple. It’s a light pinching pressure and it feels so good that your eyes flutter shut and you melt into the bed. He puts the next clamp on and you whimper. 

“How’s that feel?” he asks, his strong hands gripping your hips, pushing you into the mattress and grounding you in the warm pleasure that floods your stiff nipples.  

“S-so good Mister Miller,” you groan. You’re almost convinced this is another dream, he’s doing almost exactly what you have imagined countless times. You open your eyes to watch him, determined to visually take in every single thing he gives you. 

“Good, baby. I want you to feel good. I’m gonna tighten them now, jus’ a little.” He twists the little knob. You start breathing heavily, teetering on the edge of pain and pleasure. You bring your hands to his strong, warm forearms as you suck in air.

“Too much?”

Your chest heaves at the delicious feeling flooding your tits. “No, no. More. P-Please, more. More.”

“Good girl,” he hums deeply, the words settling right behind your clit as he tightens the tiny clamps more. The warmth around your nipples spreads to your arms and down your sides. When you cry out he asks, “Pain or pleasure, sweet girl?”

At this point you aren’t sure, it definitely hurts, but it also feels good, and his deep brown eyes are looking at you the same way they always do, full of concern and care, almost like he’s assessing you. 

“Both. Both, oh fuck. More, Mister Miller.” He kisses the left one gently and you arch into him, “More, more, please.”

“That’s as tight as they go, are you sure you want more?”

You keep your eyes on him, nodding fervently, “Yes. Please, yes.”

He pops them off and you gasp out in pain, heat rushes to both your nipples and it burns in white hot passion. Joel blows cool air along both of them and you can’t seem to stop your mumbling begging, “More. I need more. Please!”

“I know, baby. I got you.” He opens the drawer on the bedside table and takes out two gold plated clamps. You look down, your nipples already look sore, tinged slightly purple. “I’m so fucking proud of you already. Askin’ so nicely like the good girl I know you are. Goddamn, look at these stiff, perky, perfect little nipples. I love seeing you like this, seeing them like this. Are you wet for me? Are those flimsy lace panties soaked through?”

He places one of the new clamps and you cry out a ‘yes’. 

“Ya? Just dripping and desperate for me?” He puts the other clamp on as you chant a chorus of yes’s and oh god’s. 

Joel

Joel knew that tonight would either make or break him. As his name spills sweetly from your perfect pouty lips he feels it, the same tug behind his belly button that he felt with Tiffany, that his grandpa said was how he’d know when he found something special; something to hold onto. 

“Please, Mister Miller,” you murmur. He doesn’t know what it is you’re asking for, and he’s sure you don’t know either. What is it about you saying those three little words that gets him so rattled? Countless subs have called him that in the past and it never made his cock swell this painfully behind his zipper.

He taps at your nipples lightly and watches your body shudder and arch off the bed. You aren’t even fully naked and he’s fighting the urge to come right there in his pants. He loves the way your body reacts, he can already tell you’re going to look stunning as you come. 

“That feel good?” He asks, his voice deep and husky. 

“Yes. Oh god, yes!” You haven’t taken your eyes off him and he loves how your eyelids have become hooded from the pleasure while your brows furrow with the pain.

“Does it hurt?” Your cheeks are flushed pink making the colour of your eyes pop.

“Yes,” just as he’s convincing himself to remove the clamps you moan, “Please don’t stop.” 

Joel grabs the vibrator from the bedside table before sliding his body down the bed. He starts kissing at your hip bone before wrapping his teeth around the slender band of your panties. Your eyes dart down to him, this is what you asked for; to his face the first time he sees your cunt. He pulls your panties with his teeth, smiling against your soft upper thigh when you instinctively lift your hips to help him. As he shimmies down the bed his eyes stay on your face.

He gets to the end of the bed, standing with your soaked through thong still between his teeth. He relaxes his jaw, dropping the panties in his hand and bringing them to his face. “God fuckin’ damn, sweet girl. You smell so fuckin’ sweet. Imma crave that smell when you aren’t around.” He tucks your panties into the pocket of his four thousand dollar, custom made Tom Ford suit. As far as he’s concerned, that drenched thong is the most expensive and important thing he now owns. 

He trails his eyes down your sternum, your legs are straight out in front of you, not parted, but he can see your puffy pink clit pushing through the soft looking outer lips. He feels himself switching into full dom mode. The room around him fades away, everything outside of you and this room doesn’t matter anymore.

“Show me,” he growls. “Spread those gorgeous legs and show me that perfect little cunt.”

He crawls up the bed, following the path you make as you bend both knees up. He feels like a starved dog who’s about to get a meal. Your feet stop, and as he hovers above you, gaze wholly fixated on your core, you relax your legs and your knees butterfly open. God he loves how eager you are, how good of a listener you can be. He licks his lips as your outer thighs finally meet the soft sheets, baring yourself for him completely. He stops breathing as your lips part, sticky with arousal. Your pussy is swollen and glistening, your needy clit puffy and pink. 

A deep moan rumbles in his chest as he lowers himself to the be, his face between your legs. Once he’s close enough he can see the tight little hole he’s vowed not to fuck. “Shit, sweetheart. This is goin’ to be so much harder than I thought.”

Your cries wash over him; he’s experienced enough to know that it’s from your nipples hardening under the clamps at his words. He smirks up at you, “How are you so wet already?”

“You, Mister Miller.”

“That right? Me playin’ with those nipples get you all turned on?”

“Uh-huh, and you said I couldn’t touch myself. I’ve been like this for days.” Your bottom lip pokes out and it absolutely ruins him, but he pushes down the overwhelming need to fix it and give you exactly what you need. No, you want to experience being a submissive, and that’s what he’s going to do. 

“Poor baby,” he mocks, tsking at you. He kisses right above your clit and you gasp. He’s close enough to know the heat of his breath is going to have you squirming and he can’t wait to watch how beautiful you’ll look doing it. “So wet. Smells so good. Fuck, She’s right in front of me but I already miss her. You look so soft and tight. Goddamn, you’re gonna have me breakin’ all my rules, sweet girl.”

“Please touch me. Please.”

“Mmmm, such a good girl for asking so nicely. I can’t say no when you beg like that, baby, makes me weak.” He kisses the crook of your inner thigh, he knows how much he’s teasing you right now, he watches you get wetter by the second, the beautiful folds of your pussy opening like a flower in the sun for him and flushing a deeper pink and the blood courses to your most sensitive parts.  

“I need you Mister Miller,” your voice waivers as you say his name, and you blink a little harder, he knows you’re fighting back the tears and it makes his cock throb harder, the teeth of his zipper practically digging into him.

After what feels like hours, he finally brings a thick finger to tease at your entrance. You buck into him, desperate for the friction.  

“Don’t make me tie you up. Stay still for me, please.” Even with the please at the end, it’s a command - deep and serious, and you don’t dare test him. Your nipples stiffen every time he speaks, and they ache under the clamps, it’s the perfect twinge of pain to heighten the bits of pleasure he’s giving you. 

You press your lips in a tight line, hands grounding you as they ball the sheets, focusing on keeping still. You want to shamelessly fuck yourself with his fingers; meanwhile, he’s being slow and calculated. Joel torturously draws slow little circles along the waiting hole with just the tip of his finger. He watches as your sticky white arousal coats his fingertip, then groans as he slowly pushes his middle finger all the way inside of you. You gasp at the welcome stretch and fight like hell to stay still.

“Look at you, fuck. So warm and inviting.” He slips his finger out slowly and lets out an exasperated sigh. Your heart falls into your stomach.

“Mister Miller, no. Please, it felt so good,” you practically cry at the loss at the feeling of him finally inside of you, finally giving you a taste of what you need the most.

“I know,” he shushes, “But that’s not what I have planned, not yet at least. My sweet girl, I need ya to be loud for me. I’ve been wanting this for so long. Need to hear you. Understand?”

The distinct sound of the vibrator you forgot he had comes to life and you squirm with anticipation. “Yes, Mister Miller. I will, just please, please make me feel good.” 

He reaches up, the black vibrator makes contact with your nipple and an intense pain shoots to your core before it blooms into pleasure. One of your hands leaves the sheets, fingernails digging into the forearms of the hand he has holding the vibrator and you sob out. 

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” he groans before moving the vibrator to the other nipple, circling it around this time instead of holding it flush. “Jus’ tell me if you need me to stop.”

“Don’t, please don’t. Oh god, yes.” You know you’re screaming, you doubt anyone can hear you, but at this point you don’t care if they can. The pleasure becomes overwhelming, you slam your eyes shut and arch your back. Joel’s strong chest is warm in between your thighs, he’s so broad that he’s keeping you spread open. You grind into the soft white cotton of his t-shirt.

“Look at me. Focus, sweet girl,” you peel your eyes open to meet his gaze. Warm coffee and hazel eyes stare down at you. “Stay still, please.”

“I can’t - aah!” He presses hard on your sore nipple and it brings you back into your own body. You manage to still your hips and release your grip, leaving behind little crescent shaped indents in his muscle lined forearm.

“Good girl,” he praises and then pulls the vibrator away from your breasts. His free hand comes to your mound, he swallows hard before breaking eye contact, pulling his hand back and looking at your puffy, and completely exposed bundle of nerves. A devious uptick of the right side of the mouth sets your blood on fire before he taps lightly at your clit once with the soft head of vibrator.

You cry out in pleasure. 

He taps again and you gasp out loudly.

He taps a third time and you’re almost certain that this is how you’re going to die. No man has ever teased you like this. You’re desperate to come, your body breaking out in sweat, but you never want Joel to stop. Moans and whines are pouring out of you without you even realizing it, he looks so fucking beautiful between your thighs, staring at your pussy like it’s the sunrise over the ocean, like he’s never seen anything as beautiful or fascinating and it makes your feel unstoppable. You make him look like that. Him. A man who could have anyone in the world, but here he is, looking at you like you’re his whole world.

“Let me hear you, show me how you can be a good girl,” he clicks the vibrator up and holds it tightly to your clit. The sensation is almost too much and your nipples ache under the little gold clamps.

Your body starts to shake involuntarily and your moans become longer and huskier, you’re going to come any second now. You squeeze your eyes shut and Joel pulls the vibrator away.

“No,” you gasp. “More. Please, I need more. Please.” The fear of him leaving you like this has the back of your eyes burning. Was there a time limit you weren’t aware of with the room? No, this is his private room. Right? Didn’t he say that he has a private room? And it shouldn’t matter if the club is open or closed, he’s the owner.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” You blink your eyes open, trying to focus on his face, but you’re so turned on that the edges of him seem fuzzy. “That feel good? The vibrator teasing your desperately swollen clit?”

You nod your head, “Yes, again. Please, Mister Miller.”

“Tell me what you want?”

Historically, situations like this have riddled you with insecurity. You’ve never been a talker in the bedroom and as a textbook people pleaser you never, like NEVER, ask for what you want. Yes, being here fully naked with a fully clothed Joel makes you feel safer and more understood than you have ever been. You know that if you ask for anything in this room and beyond, he’d do it. 

The words leave your mouth without you even thinking about it, without second guessing or carefully planning what it is you’re going to say. “Please make me come. I’ll be so loud for you. I’ll scream and moan until I have no voice. I’ve been such a good girl and I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, please make me come.”

He raises an eyebrow at you and his voice washes over you like honey, “Good fuckin’ girl. Eyes on me and hold on.”

It happens in an instant, the vibrator flicks to the highest setting as he adjusts his body to hold you firmly against the mattress with this forearm, your hands grab onto his shoulders as he presses the soft, thick head of the sex toy right onto your clit. 

You scream and squeeze at the strong muscles of his shoulders as wave after wave of pleasure courses through your system, you tense under his touch. The build of your orgasm somehow too much and not enough all at once.

“Oh god. Oh god. Yes, I’m - Mist - fuuuck.”

“I know, I’m right here.” He says darkly.

“Gonna come,” you sputter between your cries of ecstasy. You can feel that familiar tightness building.

“Relax and let go for me. Come for me, sweet girl. Let me see this beautiful little cunt twitch.”

His words send you over the edge and your orgasm rocks through you violently. You convulse with so much force that Joel grunts as he holds you down. You’re nothing but what Joel is giving you, not a single thought or insecurity, not a single worry about studying or school, you’re just what Joel has made you and it feels fucking fantastic. His dark onyx eyes swallow you whole. 

The pleasure of your orgasm, mixed with the pain in your nipples is so much more than you’ve ever known, and Joel’s deep gravel filled voice praises you the whole time.

‘There’s my girl.’

‘Sooo good for me.’

‘Fuck, that’s it my sweet girl.’ 

‘Beautiful when you scream for me.’

It starts to become too much. Your throat is hoarse from screaming. As your nails start to dig deep into his shoulders Joel slows the vibrator down and holds it lightly to your twitching clit as the aftershocks course through you. He releases your body from his and kisses your hip bone before shutting the vibrator off completely. 

He’s stills between your thighs, your hands resting on his shoulders. Joel smiles up at you sweetly and you pull at his t shirt to encourage him to crawl on top of you. He doesn’t hesitate, bringing his stong body on top of yours, resting his forearms on each side of your head. 

“Do I have your consent to kiss you?” He whispers.

“Yes,” you coo. His mouth meets yours similar to how it did when you both confessed to being nervous. It’s soft and lingering as you take shaky, calming breaths through your nose. That annoying little box of feelings shivers in the corner of your mind and you mentally put a piece of packing tape over the lid. 

You end this kiss this time, pushing your head into the pillow. “I’m gonna grab some cooling spray and take those clamps off now, is that okay?”

You nod and hum in agreement. Your eyelids and muscles feel heavy and sated. Joel's warm body parts from yours and a chill runs up your spine. When he releases the first clamp you whimper, the burning ache goes away as soon as he sprays it with a cooling coconut scented mist. When he removes the second one, your pussy clenches around nothing, a small but powerful orgasm waves through you as the cool droplets of the aftercare spray land on your pebbled breast.

“Did you just come?” Joel questions proudly.

Your hands cover your face as you blush harder than you have in years, “Yeah.”

Joel’s warmth encompasses you again as he climbs back on top of you, he gently pulls your hands away by your wrists. “Fuck, baby. I think I’m addicted to you.” He kisses the tip of your nose, “Such a good girl.”

You shiver underneath him and he rolls the two of you so he can wrap the blanket around you, your head rests on his chest, your body half on him and half on the soft bed. He holds you tightly, his meaty hands rubbing any place they can over the fluffy down filled cocoon he’s got you in. 

A comfortable silence falls around the two of you, your breaths in sync with one another. Your eyelids flutter closed, and that little voice starts to come back, lacing you with insecurity. You don’t want to ask, but you have to. You clear your throat quietly and ask, “Are you seeing any other subs?”

“No,” he replies softly, his lips brushing the top of your head. “But I haven’t told all of them yet. The dom/sub relationship is a delicate one. I can’t exactly just message them on the app that it’s over.”

You settle deeper into him. “What else do you have planned for us?”

You can hear the smile in his voice as he says, “I’m going to show you everything you want to know.”

A fire burns in your stomach, “When?”

Joel lets out a small laugh, then tilts your chin up, pulling back a little so he can look at you. “You’re so fucking cute when you’re eager. I have to go out of town tomorrow, but we’ll make sure to find time when I’m back this weekend.”

Him leaving is a bit of a blessing in disguise for you. “I take the LSAT again on Friday, so I guess this gives me lots of study time.”

He cranes his neck to sponge his lips to yours, the scruff of his mustache tickles a little and you giggle into his kiss. “How long have you owned the club?”

“Almost five years,” he replies.

You let an impressed hum, tucking your head into the crook of his neck as the two of you fall into a comfortable silence for a while, the only sounds are your mixed breathing and his calloused hand along the blanket. You remember all the times tonight that he called you ‘my sweet girl’ and you wonder if he’s feeling the same way you are, or if he’s so used to all of this that it’s just second nature to him. The packing tape on that fucking box starts to peels as if to say ‘he was nervous too and it’s only you’.

After a while Joel breaks the silence. “Becoming a lawyer is a pretty intense process. Your family must be really proud of you.”

“Umm, well, I actually don’t really know,” you say.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Joel says lightly and you know he means it. You know he would never push you to give him something you didn’t want to, he might push your sexual limits, but never your personal ones, and for whatever reason that almost makes it easier to tell him.

You roll onto your stomach and prop yourself up on your forearms on his chest. For a second you let your eyes look around the room. You were so focused on Joel earlier that you didn’t notice the rings and hooks along the black steel bed frame; or the paddles and ropes hanging on the wall next to a ladder and St Andrews Cross. In classic Joel fashion, everything is black and softly lit. Everything but the bed sheets which are plush and white. 

You take a deep breath, resting your chin on your hands, and start, “I don’t want pity for this, truthfully I’m grateful that this is my reality, but my parents had me when they were very young and they were both very selfish when I was growing up. Never abusive or anything, and not neglectful in a physical way, but emotionally I was left alone a lot. I realized early on that if I excelled in something they would show up, and for a long time that felt really fucking good. But as soon as I hit high school I realized they were showing up for themselves. They’d brag about me to other adults, but not actually congratulate me. They’d show up to honour roll ceremonies, but not with me or for me, it was so they could say I was their daughter. They didn’t help me get those grades, I did that on my own. And I’m still doing that on my own.”

Joel’s eyes soften, those two permanent lines between his eyebrows disappearing. “That explains so much, my sweet girl. I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

The tape on the box of feelings snaps as the lid flies off. Not now, you scold.

“I know, but honestly, I don’t really need anyone to take care of me. I’ve made it this far and I plan on making it the rest of the way the only way I know how.”

“Doesn’t that get lonely?” He asks.

“Doesn’t this?” you say gently, gesturing to the room.

“No,” he blinks at you a few times. “I was in my early twenties when my wife died. I needed to focus on raising Sarah, but I’m still an adult male with needs, so I found the world of BDSM and kink. It allowed me to get what I wanted, and what my partner wanted, without the attachment of a relationship.” His words are so real and honest and in just those few sentences you feel like you know Joel Miller more deeply than you know anyone else.

“My way doesn’t get lonely either,” you say with a smile, tucking your head back into his chest.

Joel

Your breathing is calm and heavy, it kills him that he’s going to have to wake you up. Usually his aftercare doesn’t involve opening up about his past like this. He’s not a monster, but he is very strict about keeping his kink life and his real life separate. Something about you though has him opening up about Tiffany and Sarah.

“Baby,” he whispers into the crown of your head, shaking you a little. “We can’t sleep here, I’m sorry.”

You blink up at him and his heart ceases at how beautiful you look all sleepy and supple. He finds himself unconsciously memorizing the little details of your face. Your lips are puffy from his kisses and you have a little mascara smudge under your eye. He thumbs the black make up away gently and says, “Let me help you get dressed and then Cap will take you home, ok?”

You nod lazily and he helps you gently roll off him. He stands and starts to gather your clothing. After a few minutes of looking around he huffs, “Where are your panties?”

A tiny giggle sounds from the cloud of white blankets, the sound shooting straight through his belly button, “Check your pockets.”

He laughs at himself, reaching into his pants pocket to pull out your lacy nude thong. He helps you sit up, “I’m keeping these, by the way.”

“Should I be expecting my panties to go missing every time?” You say jokingly as you take your bra from him and put it on. 

He nods and asks, “How are you feeling?”

“Good, really good actually,” After you put your bra on he pulls your dress over your head and then kneels to help you with your boots. “I - umm - I was hoping that this would help turn my brain off for a while and it did. I feel, I don’t know. Recharged almost?”

This is exactly why he loves kink, it’s an escape from the world for him and his sub. He kisses your knee and moves to the other boot. “Good, that’s what is supposed to happen.”

He pulls you to your feet and allows you to steady yourself before pulling you in for a hug. “Thank you for tonight,” he whispers. He hopes you know that he needs this as much as you do, how much this helps him clear his mind and reground himself.

After closing the door to the town car and sending you home he goes back into the club, waving for a whiskey and joining Tommy at the bar top.

“She was pretty,” Tommy says, clinking his glass against Joel’s.

“Yep,” he swirls the amber liquid in the cup.

“New?” Tommy asks.

“Yep,” Joel repeats and then sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I think I’m fucked, Tommy.”

Tommy puts his glass down and turns to face Joel, gripping his shoulder. “Are you ending it with all your other subs for this girl?”

Joel takes a long sip from his crystal highball glass. Repeating the only word he seems to know lately, “Yep.”

Tommy lets out a breath, “Shit. Ya, you’re definitely fucked.”

“Tiff told me to find someone who scares me. This fucking scares me, man.” Joel finishes off his whiskey, and even though there’s a drink limit, the glass is refilled before it’s even hit the table. “This is - I just - I ain’t felt like this in a long time.”

Tommy smiles at Joel, “I’m happy for ya, man. And look, as long as you aren’t keepin’ her panties then it’s probably not as bad as you think.” 

Joel pulls that nude thong from his pocket and puts it on the bar top as he finishes off his second glass of whiskey and then waves the bartender off, silently signaling that he’s done. 

“Shit, so you are fucked then?” Tommy laughs. 

“We didn’t,” Joel says defensively, brows pulling together.  

“I didn’t ask if you fucked. I said you are fucked.” Tommy shakes his head at his older brother. 

Joel runs a hand down his face and through his scruff. “Look, you gonna be ok this week while I’m in Paris?”

“Ya, me and Tess got it.” He claps Joel’s back roughly as he stands. “Safe travels, hey?”

Joel nods and waves over his head at his brother. He hasn’t fucked you or let you suck his cock yet and he’s already feeling all turned around. But god, the way your body twitched in response to him, the way you melt into his arms every time he kisses you. How brave and confident you were after overcoming the shyness of asking for what you want. He can’t wait to teach you more, but he’s going to have to find a way to not let whatever feelings he might be having get in the way. 

[nsfwhiphop]

The Notorious B.I.G. - "Notorious Thugs" (feat. Bone-Thugz-N-Harmony) - Lyrics - Karaoke night

"Notorious Thugs" (feat. Bone-Thugz-N-Harmony) (from "Notorious" soundtrack)

And Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (we gon' rock the party) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (rock the party, party) It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (better run and tell everybody) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (everybody, everybody) Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon, c'mon (This a lake of fire right here)

It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (we gon' rock the party) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (rock the party, party) It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (better run and tell everybody) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (everybody, everybody) Notorious thugs Nothin' but them thugstas, nothin' but them thugsta thugstas Notorious thugs Nothin' but them thugstas, nothin' but them thugsta thugstas It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (we gon' rock the party) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (rock the party, party) It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (better run and tell everybody) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (everybody, everybody) Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon, c'mon Armed and dangerous Ain't too many can bang with us Straight up weed, no angel dust Label us notorious Thug-ass niggas that love to bust, it's strange to us Y'all niggas be scramblin', gamblin' Up in restaurants with mandolins and violins We just sittin' here tryna win, try not to sin High off weed and lots of gin So much smoke, need oxygen Steadily countin' them Benjamins Nigga, you should too, if you knew What this game'll do to you Been in this shit since '92 Look at all the bullshit I been through So-called beef with you-know-who Fucked a few female stars or two Then I blew like nigga move like Mike Shit, not to be fucked with Motherfucker better duck quick 'Cause me and my dogs love to buck shit

Fuck the luck shit, strictly aim No aspirations to quit the game Spit yo game, talk yo shit Grab yo gat, call yo clique Squeeze yo' clip, hit the right one Pass that weed, I got to light one All them niggas, I got to fight one All them hoes, I got to like one Our situation is a tight one What you gonna do: fight or run? Seems to me that you'll take B Bone and Big, nigga, die slowly I'ma tell you like a nigga told me "Cash Rule Everything Around Me" Shit, lyrically niggas can't see me Fuck it, buy the coke, cook the coke, cut it Know the bitch 'fore you caught yourself lovin' it Nigga with a Benz fuckin' it Doesn't it seem odd to you? Big come through with mobs and crews Goodfellas down to the Mo' Thugs dudes Who's the killer: me or you? We forgive you, for you know not what you do 7 A.M. woke in the morning With Hen' and caffeine and green and nicotine No-Doz so pop a couple of those Lil' RIPsta, nigga Mista Clean, make it gleam Deep in my temple and not to get sentimentally steamed With my instrumelody, and heated, especially for your team And a .45 indeed will beam In between the scenes, destroy your dreams You willin' to die? We'll see How many flee when I cause the scene? We mean mug, Mo' Thugs, trained to be perfect disciples When it's survival, tongue is a double-edged sword Triple six rivals spittin' fire This the real truth, bitch, breakin' out for lies My Messiah's better be ready for Armageddon, shit's expired It's wild, bless the child, the one that became a man Put in positions off in the Clair All that I had to do was stare Test me now, contender; never no surrender, no pretend Pick up my pen in my hand One of my trusted friend-friends Hey, open it, let's see if for real, we all suited Beg my pardon to Martin: baby, we ain't marchin', we shootin' In daily recruitin', there's a thug born everyday in the ghetto We start 'em off little, we give 'em a bible And a pen and a pad to hit the label—kick it, nigga! Nigga roll with Bone up into the dank spot To the dome with a shot of burb Never get tossed to the curb Be feelin' that urge to splurge But I'm broke as fuck, Sin, give me that Mossberg swerve! Up into my bag 'cause I gotta get my mask and shells To put in this 12 gauge sawed-off Get 'em hauled off, nigga, y'all loss Take it all off, got a nigga caught off But the Bone, not Leatherface Too many are thinkin' they thugs And little Mo Hart want to pull it and bust it

And bitch, if you steppin', we buckin' them guns, that's fucked up Now let me get done with the grime Gotta go purchase a dime Put in a state to get done with the crime Smokin' the reefer to ease my mind Swig some wine, step on the block with the rocks But really we be servin' them dummies, see? Gotta buck him on down If he come back talkin' like, "Give me back me money!" Thuggin' with me killers Need us a liter of liquor but niggas ain't got shit With a sawed-off pump, chrome .38 pistol Now who ready to get bent? Nigga like me fiendin' for them green leaves But I ain't had no dough Gotta make some money So I'm makin' my dummy rocks if I go broke It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (we gon' rock the party) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (rock the party, party) It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (better run and tell everybody) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (everybody, everybody) Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon, c'mon Yeah, Little Lay, hey, comin' in the form of scripture Finna get ya and hit ya with magic Droppin' down lead but I call it my gadgets With an automatic status, we spray Time to load the Glocks, but I'm thinkin' not There's another evil force tellin' me to do what I gotta do So I up my pipe, a nigga dyin' tonight And I'm always runnin' from the boys in blue Biggie, blue's on my ass Now I pull out the cellular phone to call Bone, "What's happenin'?" Grab artillery, a nigga start packin' 'Cause a motherfucker tried to get me in a jackin' And I did him, hit him right between the eyes The spot was wise; wanna test a nigga size, it'll cost him Nigga fuck around with the wrong shit Y'all get mo murdered all day, all day We done paved the way and I'm on the run I'ma call my boys and bring all the guns Y'all niggas wanna have a little fun with number one, one, one? Bloody red, red, rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, rum Bloody red, red, rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, rum Bloody red, red, rum It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (we gon' rock the party) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (rock the party, party) It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (better run and tell everybody) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (everybody, everybody) Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon, c'mon It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (we gon' rock the party) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (rock the party, party) It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (better run and tell everybody) Just Bone and Biggie, Biggie It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie (everybody, everybody) Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon Let's ride, let's ride, let's ride, let's ride Get high, get high, get high, c'mon, c'mon

[angie-long-legs-moved]

The sharp fingertips that dug into Angel's face were enough to make him wince, but he breathed through it, clenching his jaw.

How did it come to this? How did it always come to this? Val turned the tables so swiftly, so expertly, and before Angel knew it, he would be pleading Val to allow him the privilage of doing whatever detestable thing Angel had so desperately tried to worm his way out of. The threats, the manipulation, the violence... all roads lead to the same destination, one where Angel was bloodied and bruised and begging for mercy. To imagine another outcome when crossing Valentino was pure delusion.

As Val cast him aside, finally tossing him the phone, he caught sight of himself in the reflection of the now-darkened screen. Val hadn't been kidding when he said he was gross: tear streaks formed wet trails, dragging black smears of mascara down his cheeks, and puncture wounds from vicious claws spilled trickles of blood down his chin, the deep red colour stark and unforgiving against his white fur.

He ignored the Overlord's offhand request for stain remover - a quick glance to his left told him that this had been smashed to pieces along with the rest of his belongings. Being cool and detached as he was coerced into breaking up with the man he loved was already breaching the threshold of his acting skills. Pretending to care about Valentino's act of malice reaping the smallest sprinkling of karma in the form of Angel's blood splattered on his clothes was not part of the arrangement.

After a moment of shaky silence, Angel unlocked his phone. It opened on his and Husk's messages - a new message from the bartender popping up at the bottom of the screen.

- cant wait to see u either. love u so much baby. be safe x

Fresh tears began to well up, blurring the message until the words were a warped, grey blotch in a pool of blue light. The physical pain was but a blip on the horizon compared to the sheer agony of being forced to destroy the one pure thing he had salvaged from these seventy years of torment. All the flickers of hope and affection that Valentino had so cruelly teased out of him burned and singed into ashes, a pile of dust and bones that yielded nothing but hatred.

Trembling, he pressed record.

"Hey Whis- uh, Husk. I, uh... I gotta... talk to ya. Tell ya somethin'."

The tears were dripping onto Angel's hands now, onto the phone screen, but he steadied his breathing, refusing to allow his crying to be audible.

"This, uh... us? It... it ain't workin'. I'm b-breakin' it off," he stuttered out. No amount of expertise in acting could prepare him to put on this kind of show. He was a master of his craft, the mask he wore rarely faltering even when met with the most base and brutal violence, but this was his limit. Val had finally found his breaking point, finally commanded an act that Angel could not perform.

"I just... don't wanna be with ya no more. So don't... don't wait up for me. Don't call or t-text or nothin', just... forget about me," he sniffled. Abiding by Valentino's instructions of sounding happy and carefree had long since been thrown out the window, what the hell did it matter if he improvised his final line?

"I'm sorry," he whispered, ending the recording and pressing send, before immediately, furiously, launching his phone across the room. It slammed against the wall with a dull smack before dropping to the floor, accompanied by the crisp splitting of glass as his screen shattered, the shards mingling with the broken pieces of Angel's destroyed belongings.

It didn't matter. Valentino had torn apart his room, his possessions, Angel himself. And when there had been nothing left for him to break, he made Angel claw out his own heart for him, forced him to grind it into the carpet's smattering of jagged splinters until all that was left were ribbons of meat and bloody, chewed-up scraps. Soulless. Someone else's.

There was nothing left.

Angel collapsed to the carpet and finally allowed himself to sob.

Angel's grasp came nowhere near the phone.

Of course it didn't. He should have known better. He did know better.

And he'd done it anyway.

In a shot, the wind was knocked out of Angel as he was hurled against the floor with brute force, glass fragments puncturing the bare skin Valentino had exposed. The fact Valentino had the foresight to tear down Angel's robe to ensure the maximum amount of pain was inflicted confirmed that this was more than just animalistic rage- this was conniving and sadistic. He wanted Angel to hurt.

And Angel did. He gritted his teeth, screwing his eyes tight shut as the sting of the glass now embedded in his back melded with the profound ache that rang through his body as it collided with the floor. His head had been smacked down so hard he saw stars, and the wrist Valentino had snatched as he made bid for the phone had surely bruised from the sheer force. Angel's hands rose instinctively to paw at the fingers curled around his throat - a desperate plea for release, and an entirely fruitless endevour.

This was the pain that Angel knew intimately, the pain he had expected when Valentino revealed that he'd discovered Angel's dirty little secret. He almost welcomed it, the agony that bloomed when the true ferocity of Valentino raised its ugly head. The mind games were over - all that remained was violence.

A relief, maybe. But it still fucking ached.

Between the force of the impact, Valentino's hand gripping Angel's throat, and his knee pushing dangerously into his abdomen, Angel was fighting for breath. His vision went white, a welcome solace from the nightmarish image of his keeper screaming as he restrained him, fury distorting his features as pink spit flew past razor sharp teeth, those horrible tear stains entirely out of place in this new expression. Perhaps it would be better if Angel passed out.

Valentino would not allow him such a luxury.

The second time Angel was slammed down, his vision warped for a different reason - it disgusted him that after all this time, the pain Valentino inflicted could still make him cry. He knew it was coming, but familiarising himself with this pain didn't make it more bearable. It just meant he knew what to expect.

And then the threat he knew was coming all along, the one he had prepared himself for right from the start - the threat against Husk.

The tears that had been brimming threatened to fall as Valentino's hand crept under Angel's chin, forcing the two demons to lock eyes. Angel gasped as his throat was released, drawing in a deep, ragged breath, his vision spotting once again as his body adjusted to the flood of oxygen.

"I'll do it! I'll do it, Val, please just- please don't hurt him."

Angel's voice cracked in an unwelcome, shameful sob. The physical pain, the threats, the stark switch from Val playing the victim to so quickly becoming the aggressor - it was intolerable. A tear finally dropped, landing on the sharp, gold fingers that lifted his head. His senses were muddled, he could hardly see or breathe, and his heart thrummed in his chest like a hummingbird. But the one thing that stayed clear in his mind was Husk. Val made good on his murderous threats, everyone knew that. Angel had no choice but to surrender, if it meant his love was to avoid a second death.

"I'll break it off, I won't see him again. I'll send the message, right now! Just... let me do it, okay?" Angel pleaded. The tears were streaming now. Val always made him feel so small, so pathetic. So weak. He ground him down to nothing without a second thought, and no matter how many times Angel tried to fight his cause, he was always reduced to dust in Valentino's hand.

"Please, Val. Please don't hurt him."

[tumbleweedmemes]

danny gonzalez sentence starter (part 3)

sentences from youtuber danny gonzalez’s videos and songs.

“i seriously have some really normal-looking nipples.”

“we all have that one friend that just... lies, all the time.”

“life is just one big fuckin’ mario kart.”

“there were severe thunderstorm warnings, there were severe hail warnings, and there were... about three or four tornado warnings.”

“the motivational speaker’s a fucking caveman.”

“yeah, can you come over? my kids aren’t eating their broccoli.”

“you don’t have to tell me every time you found a bounce here.”

“oh no! oh, damnit, this really ruined my whole day, my friend breakin’ his neck and shit.”

“that mouse seems... legitimately traumatized by what she’s done.”

“do you have any idea how hard it is to be an egg? no! you’ve never been an egg in your life!”

“next time i shatter, can you just let me die?”

“i don’t want a fridge with a personality.”

“from here on out, no more talking about adult rat content.”

“do i just have ‘nervous guy’ posture?”

“we stan an uncomfortable king.”

“oh my god, dude. these people are tearing me to shreds! i deserve it, too, that’s the worst part.”

“i’m so confident, i just fell asleep.”

“i’m so confident, i’m just bored all the time.”

“is this a current photo? are you three years old?”

“wow, that’s awesome, this is really fucked-up!”

“there’s also caution tape all over the walls and a danger sign on the front door of his room... which is kinda considerate, actually.”

“ow! fuckin’ bitch-ass crab! ugh!”

“this does not look like the type of place you would wanna go to find love, this looks like a fedex.”

“ROCK IT, BABY, YEAH!��

“do you think they got married? or do you think they’re both dead?”

“they kind of look like they were drawn by a fourth grader, so i don’t know what’s up with that.”

“you try to stay away from... water?”

“if i get too close to water, i might forget how to act, shit.”

“nah, they’re just brittle in the mornings. usually they harden around lunchtime, and at night... they get squishy.”

“i have superpowers... i can’t go to school anymore, i gotta go home.”

“they give off some pretty strong ‘we kill mermaid’ vibes.”

“haha! got your head! you’re not going anywhere now, missy!”

“i’m sorry, man, you’re grounded as fuck.”

“ugh, okay, fine, i’ll help you cure your stupid bone thing.”

“we actually have a game of marco polo planned for the rest of time, so i can’t cure cancer, sorry, i know.”

[blackcatrph]

** evermore sentence starters.

willow.

“ i'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night. ”

“ you cut through like a knife. ”  

“ i never would have known from the look on your face. ” 

“ the more that you say, the less I know. ”

“ i'm begging for you to take my hand. ”  

“ life was a willow and it bent right to your wind. ”

“ i could feel you sneakin' in. ”

“ you are a mythical thing. ”  

“ i come back stronger than a '90s trend. ”

“ wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark. ”

“ show me the places where the others gave you scars. ”

“ anywhere else is hollow. ”  

champagne problems.

“ you booked the night train for a reason. ”

“ bustling crowds or silent sleepers, not sure which is worse. ”   

“ i dropped your hand while dancing. ”  

“ your mom's ring is in your pocket, my picture is in your wallet. ”

“ your heart was glass and I dropped it. ”

“ you told your family for a reason. ”

“ you couldn't keep it in. ”

“ no one's celebrating. ”

“ your hometown skeptics called it champagne problems. ”

“ love slipped beyond your reaches. ”

" this dorm was once a madhouse. "

“ don't think we'll say that word again. ”

“ sometimes you just don't know the answer. ”

" she would've made such a lovely bride. ”  

“ what a shame she's fucked in the head. ”

“ she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred. ”

gold rush.

“ eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting I almost jump in. ” 

“ i don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch. ”

“ everybody wants you. ”

“ everybody wonders what it would be like to love you. ”

“ i don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bones crush. ”

“ what must it be like to grow up that beautiful ? ”

“ i see me padding across your wooden floors. ”

“ it fades into the gray of my day-old tea. ”

“ it could never be. ”

“ my mind turns your life into folklore. ”

“ i can't dare to dream about you anymore. ”

“ the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure. ”

'tis the damn season.

“ If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would have asked you. ”

“ it's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass. but I felt it when I passed you. ”

“ there's an ache in you. ”

“ but if it's all the same to you, it's the same to me. ”

“ you could call me "babe" for the weekend. ”

“ the road not taken looks real good now. ”

“ the holidays linger like bad perfume. ”

“ you can run, but only so far. ”  

“ i escaped it too. ”

“ remember how you watched me leave ? ”

“ now I'm missing your smile. ”  

“ hear me out, we could just ride around. ”

“ i won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay. ”

“ i wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking. ”

“ the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own. ”

“ we could call it even, even though I'm leavin'. ”  

tolerate it.

“ i notice everything you do or don't do. ”

“ you're so much older and wiser. ”

“ if it's all in my head tell me now. ”

“ tell me I've got it wrong somehow. ”

“ i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it. ”

“ i greet you with a battle hero's welcome. ”

“ i take your indiscretions all in good fun. ”

“ while you were out building other worlds, where was I? ”

“ where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire? ”

“ i made you my temple, my mural, my sky. ”

“ i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life. ”

“ always taking up too much space or time. ”

“ you assume I'm fine. ”

“ what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins. ”  

“ took this dagger in me and removed it. ”

no body, no crime.

“ he did it. ”

" it smells like infidelity. ”

“ that ain't my merlot on his mouth. ”

“ i think I'm gonna call him out. ”

" i think he did it, but I just can't prove it. "

“ no body, no crime. ”

“ i ain't lettin' up until the day I die. ”  

“ his mistress moved in. ” 

“ there ain't no doubt. ”

“ somebody's gotta catch him out. ”

“ i've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene. ”

“ they think she did it, but they just can't prove it. ”  

“ i wasn't lettin' up until the day he died. ”

happiness.

“ i see this for what it is. ”

“ all the years I've given Is just shit we're dividin' up. ”

“ i can't face reinvention. ”

“ i haven't met the new me yet. ”

“ there'll be happiness after you. ”  

“ there was happiness because of you. ”

“ there is happiness past the blood and bruises. ”

“ haunted by the look in my eyes. ”

“ leave it all behind. ”  

“ tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? ”

“ when did all our lessons start to look like weapons? ”

“ i hope she'll be your beautiful fool. ”

“ no, I didn't mean that. ”

“ i can't see facts through all of my fury. ”  

“ there'll be happiness after me. ”

“ in our history, across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise dappled with the flickers of light. ”

“ i can't make it go away by making you a villain. ”  

“ no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you. ”

“ now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head. ”

“ after giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that? ”

dorothea.

“ do you ever stop and think about me?”

“ you got shiny friends since you left town. ”

“ i got nothing but well-wishes for you. ”

“ this place is the same as it ever was. ”

“ it's never too late to come back to my side. ”

“ the stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo. ”

“ and if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know, you'll always know me. ”

“ you'rе a queen sellin' dreams. ”

“ they all want to be you. ”

“ are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? ”

“ i guess I'll never know. ”  

coney island.

“ break my soul in two looking for you. ” 

“ if I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to? ”

“ did I close my fist around something delicate? ”

“ did I shatter you? ”

“ sorry for not making you my centerfold. ”

“ lost again with no surprises. ”  

“ it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down. ”

“ what's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? ”

“ you were too polite to leave me. ”

“ will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? ”

“ sorry for not winning you an arcade ring. ”

“ were you waiting at our old spot? ” 

“ did I leave you hanging every single day? ”

“ did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? ”

“ the sight that flashed before me was your face. ”

ivy.

“ i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones. ”

“ your touch brought forth an incandescent glow. tarnished, but so grand. ”

“ i just sit here and wait, grieving for the living. ”

“ my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand. ”

“ i can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland. ”

“ my house of stone, your ivy grows. and now I'm covered in you. ”

“ i wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed. ”

“ your opal eyes are all I wish to see. ”

“ clover blooms in the fields. ”  

“ what would he do if he found us out? ”

“ he's gonna burn this house to the ground. ” 

“ i'd live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time. ”

“ so tell me to run, or dare me to sit and watch what we'll become. ”

“ it's a goddamn blaze in the dark. ”

“ it's the goddamn fight of my life. ”

cowboy like me.

" dancin' is a dangerous game. "

“ now I know I'm never gonna love again. ”

“ i've got some tricks up my sleeve. ”

“ takes one to know one. ”

“ you're a cowboy like me. ”

“ i never wanted love, just a fancy car. ”  

“ i could be the way forward. ”

“ the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. ”

“ the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one. ”

“ now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. ”

“ forever is the sweetest con. ”  

long story short.

“ i tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me. ”

“ the knife cuts both ways. ”

“ if the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break. ”

“ i fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole. ”

“ long story short, it was a bad time. ”

“ i always felt I must look better in the rear view. ”

“ missing me at the golden gates they once held the keys to. ”

“ but if someone comes at us this time, I'm ready. ”

“ i wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things. ”

“ your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing. ”

“ rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky. ”

“ long story short, I survived. ”

marjorie.

“ never be so kind that you forget to be clever. ”

“ never be so clever that you forget to be kind. ”

“ what died didn't stay dead. ”

“ you're alive, so alive. ”  

“ never be so politе that you forget your power. ”

“ nevеr wield such power that you forget to be polite. ”

“ if I didn't know better I'd think you were listening to me now. ”

“ you loved the amber skies so much. ”

“ and if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now. ”

closure.

“ it's been a long time. ”

“ seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain. ”

“ it wasn't right, the way it all went down. ”

“ i got your letter. ” 

“ i know that it's over, I don't need your closure. ”

“ don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled. ”

“ i'm fine with my spite, my tears, my beers and my candles. ”

“ i know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life. ”

“ it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary. ” 

evermore.

“ i replay my footsteps on each stepping stone trying to find the one where I went wrong. ”

“ i was catching my breath. ”

“ i had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore. ”

“ I can't remember what I used to fight for. ”

“ you cannot think of all the cost and the things that will be lost. ”

“ can we just get a pause? ”

“ is there a line that I could just go cross? ”

“ when I was shipwrecked I thought of you. ”

“ in the cracks of light I dreamed of you. ”

“ it was real enough to get me through. ”

“ i swear you were there. ”

[miawin6]

PERCY JACKSON CHARACTERS AS EVERMORE LYRICS

Percy Jackson

And if it was an open-shut case

I never would've known from that look on your face

The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

When we were younger, down in the park

Honey, making a lark of the misery

And we live in peace, but if someone comes at us

This time, I'm ready

And when I was shipwrecked, I thought of you

In the cracks of light, I dreamed of you

Annabeth Chase

You know that my train could take you home

Anywhere else is hollow

There is happiness

Past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries

Beyond the terror in the nightfall

Haunted by the look in my eyes

That would've loved you for a lifetime

Leave it all behind

Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk?

When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever

Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

Piper Mclean

I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night

Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife

As if you were a mythical thing

Like you were a trophy or a champion ring

And there was one prize I'd cheat to win

If I can't relate to you anymore

Then who am I related to?

And the skeletons in both our closets

Plotted hard to mess this up

Jason Grace

It's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass

But I felt it when I passed you

There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me

But if it's all the same to you

It's the same to me

You can run, but only so far

I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave

But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me

I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

Were you waiting at our old spot

In the tree line, by the gold clock?

Did I leave you hanging every single day?

Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake?

Happy birthday

Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?

A universe away

Sometimes walking out is the one thing

That will find you the right thing

Hazel Levesque

Show me the places where the others gave you scars

I sit and watch you and notice everything you do or don't do

You're so much older and wiser and I

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

Lay the table with the fancy shit

And watch you tolerate it

Will you forgive my soul

When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

No more tug of war now, I just know there's more

I rewind the tape but all it does is pause

On the very moment all was lost

If our love died young, I can't bear witness

And it's been so long

Frank Zhang

And in the disbelief, I can't face reinvention

I haven't met the new me yet

Fatefully

I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

If the shoe fits, walk in it everywhere you go

Never be so polite, you forget your power

Never wield such power, you forget to be polite

I should've asked you questions

I should've asked you how to be

Asked you to write it down for me

All your closets of backlogged dreams

And how you left them all to me

Leo Valdez

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own

To leave the warmest bed I've ever known

We could call it even

Even though I'm leavin'

There'll be happiness after me

But there was happiness because of me

Both of these things I believe

There is happiness

After giving you the best I had

Tell me what to give after that

I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

I'd live and die for moments that we stole

On begged and borrowed time

And you know in your soul

When it's time to go

Nico di Angelo

I'm begging for you to take my hand

Wreck my plans, that's my man

Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

They count me out time and time again

Gleaming, twinkling

Eyes like sinking ships on waters

So inviting, I almost jump in

But I don't like a gold rush, gold rush

I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush

I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush

I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea

'Cause you know it could never be

My mind turns your life into folklore

There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you

Both of these things can be true

And you passed right by

I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides

Long story short, it was the wrong guy

Now I'm all about you

Actually

I always felt I must look better in the rear view

And he's passing by

Rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky

And he feels like home

Long story short, it was a bad time

Long story short, I survived

And I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar

This pain wouldn't be for evermore

When the words of a sister come back in whispers

That prove she was not in fact what she seemed

Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

But what would you do if I, I

Break free and leave us in ruins

Took this dagger in me and removed it

Gain the weight of you then lose it

Believe me, I could do it

This place is the same as it ever was

But you don't like it that way

It's never too late

To come back to my side

Yes, I got your letter

Yes, I'm doing better

I know that it's over

I don't need your closure

I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life

Staying friends would iron it out so nice

Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea

That you put between you and me

Right where you left me

You left me no, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

[cool-chick-c-c]

lyric prompts: evermore

lover folklore

and if it was an open-shut case, i never would've known from that look on your face

take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man

and there was one prize i'd cheat to win

they count me out time and time again

show me the places where the others gave you scars

every bait-and-switch was a work of art

you had a speech, you're speechless

and soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through

i never was ready so i watch you go

"what a shame she's fucked in the head," they said

never leave you standing, crestfallen on the landing

eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting i almost jump in

i don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

i don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

at dinner parties, i call you out on your contrarian shit

and thеn it fades into the gray of my day-old tea

my mind turns your life into folklore, i can't dare to dream about you anymore

but if it's all the same to you, it's the same to me

we could call it even, you could call me "babe" for the weekend

the holidays linger like bad perfume, you can run, but only so far

i won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay

and the heart i know i'm breakin' is my own

i wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed

i notice everything you do or don't do

if it's all in my head, tell me now, tell me i've got it wrong somehow

i take your indiscretions all in good fun

drawing hearts in the byline, always taking up too much space or time

gain the weight of you, then lose it, believe me, i could do it

they think she did it, but they just can't prove it, she thinks i did it, but she just can't prove it

i wasn't lettin' up until the day he died

i was dancing when the music stopped, and in the disbelief, i can't face reinvention

haunted by the look in my eyes, that would've loved you for a lifetime

when did all our lessons start to look like weapons, pointed at my deepest hurt 

no, i didn't mean that, sorry, i can't see facts through all of my fury

dappled with the flickers of light, from the dress i wore at midnight

i can't make it go away by making you a villain, i guess it's the price i paid for seven years in heaven

no one teaches you what to do, when a good man hurts you, and you know you hurt him too

after giving you the best i had, tell me what to give after that

this place is the same as it ever was, but you won't like it that way

and if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know, you know you'll always know me

but are you still the same soul i met under the bleachers

if i can't relate to you anymore, then who am i related to

if this is the long haul, how'd we get here so soon 

did i close my fist around something delicate, did i shatter you 

sorry for not making you my centerfold

what's a lifetime of achievement, if i pushed you to the edge 

will you forgive my soul, when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care 

close your eyes, and it gets colder and colder

did i paint your bluest skies the darkest grey, a universe away

but when i walked up to the podium, i think that i forgot to say your name

and the old widow goes to the stone every day, but i don't, i just sit here and wait

my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

i wish to know, the fatal flaw that makes you long to be, magnificently cursed

so tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

it's the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it

and you asked me to dance, but i said, "dancin' is a dangerous game"

now i'm waiting by the phone, like i'm sitting in an airport bar

we could be the way forward, and i know i'll pay for it

with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con

i tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

the knife cuts both ways, if the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

and i fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole

pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips

i always felt i must look better in the rear view

and my waves meet your shore, ever and evermore

never be so clever, you forget to be kind

if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around

never be so politе, you forget your power

all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me

i know better, but you're still around

it wasn't right, the way it all went down, looks like you know that now

yes, i got your letter, yes, i'm doing better

i know i'm just a wrinkle in your new life

motion capture, put me in a bad light

i replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where i went wrong

hey december, guess i'm feeling unmoored

i rewind thе tape, but all it does is pause, on thе very moment all was lost

sending signals, to be double-crossed

barefoot in the wildest winter, catching my death

oh, can we just get a pause, to be certain, we'll be tall again

is there a line that i could just go cross 

i swear you could hear a hair pin drop, right when i felt the moment stop

i stayed there, dust collected on my pinned-up hair

they expected me to find somewhere, some perspective, but i sat and stared

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen, time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

she's still twenty-three inside her fantasy, and you're sitting in front of me

if our love died young, i can't bear witness

trying to stay for the kids, when keeping it how it is will only break their hearts worse

the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul

sometimes walking out is the one thing, that will find you the right thing

i gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all, then wondered why i left

he's got my past frozen behind glass, but i've got me

[hellsmayflower]

You have forsaken all the love you've taken. Sleepin' on a razor there's nowhere left to fall. Your body's aching, every bone is breakin'. Nothin' seems to shake it, it just keeps holdin' on. Your soul is able, death is all you cradle. Sleepin' on the nails, there's nowhere left to fall. You have admired, what every man desires. Everyone is king when there's no one left to pawn. There is no peace here, war is never cheap dear. Love will never meet here, it just gets sold for parts. You cannot fight it, all the world denies it. Open up your eyelids, let your demons run . I thread the needle through, you beat the devil tattoo.

[bastionbabble]

Mushroom and Jinna Soup (The Kid, Zulf, 1816 words, worksafe)

 The Kid squeezed Zulf's shoulder and returned to his peeling. Zulf wished for sleep like every star there ever was, but it wouldn’t come. There was the fever, yes, but a question shifted beneath the surface and begged to be let out.

 "Kid, tell me… how does a Cael man know how to make mushroom and jinna soup? I don't think I've met a Cael who knew what jinna even was."

Zulf is sick, and the Kid helps; they have a conversation.

(my @supergiantsecretsanta gift for @tealeafraven hope you enjoy!)

(ao3 link)

A heat prickled at Zulf’s skin and threatened to swallow him whole. In the dark of his tent, strange things swam before his eyes, blotches of darkness outlined in colors never before witnessed. How very strange. He tried to move his blanket, tried to feel the cool night air to dampen the fire that burned across him, but his arms simply wouldn't move. Any will he had was turned to droplets, leaving him immobilized, a river stopped up with a dam. He tried to open his mouth to call for help, but no sound came. Just a breath of dust, flittering into the night on bats' wings. The world around him swayed like the sea and he swayed with it, drifting in and out of sleep until the brightness of morning shot through the tent and brightened his eyes. 

“Zia,” Zulf finally managed to say, his voice a crackling croak. “I don't feel well.”

Zia groaned her awakeness and sat up. They shared a tent and each had a bedroll not far from the other. She shambled over to him and regarded him with bleary eyes.

“What's wrong?”

“I feel…” What does he feel? Something burning and sizzling, a fire sprouting into the wind.  Hot, yes, and a lot of other things. But speaking anymore seemed too much, and the words fizzled in his throat. 

“Let me check your forehead.” Zia pressed her hand to Zulf's forehead, then quickly withdrew it. “You're burning up! Don't go anywhere, I'm getting Kid.”

Going anywhere seemed unlikely at best. Zulf closed his eyes and that same swaying motion rocked him back and forth, back and forth, until he was almost lulled to sleep. But the tent flap opened and the light burst in once more.

“Zulf? Zia said you got a fever. You feeling alright?”

“Oh, Kid,” Zulf sighed. “Everything is… swimming. It's so heavy.”

The Kid sighed. "Zia, grab some pillows. I'm takin' him to the kitchen."

He came over to Zulf and leaned over to lift him, then paused. "Can I lift you? Won't hurt you, promise."

Zulf had never once feared that the Kid would hurt him. But that's too much to say, and instead Zulf settled on a nod. The Kid slipped his arms beneath Zulf and picked him up with all gentleness a mother cat would her kitten.

"Gonna be alright, alright? I'll take care of you."

Zulf wanted to thank him, but words seemed too heavy. Instead he closed his eyes and listened to the steady beat of the Kid’s heart. Ba bump, ba bump, ba bump. His heart must be larger than everyone else's-- there was so much to it, to him. It must be twice as large, just to hold it to bravery every day in worlds untouched by man and hold it in love every day on this little island they've made. What does Zulf’s heart sound like? Zia’s? Even Rucks’? What a strange thing the heart is.

The Kid carried Zulf down into the kitchen, a place of darkened coolness lit only by the dwindling fire in the oven. He laid Zulf on a pile of pillows put by Zia with a tenderness that made Zulf ache.

"Try an' get some sleep," the Kid said, before grabbing wood by the fire and feeding it into the barely burning flame. "Gonna work on some soup."

"What kind of soup?" Zulf asked, in a voice that mirrored the sway of his body. 

"Mushroom and Jinna. Used to make it for my mama."

"With green kepper?"

“‘Course. Can't have mushroom and jinna soup without the green kepper."

Mushroom and jinna soup was a soup made commonly in the Southeastern part of the Tazal Terminals, the poorest section of the whole area. Jinna was a starchy but relatively tasteless root, but cheap and absorbed the salty flavor of the clear broth well. Kepper was a thin and leathery pepper that grew in great bushes wherever given the chance, and ranged from the pleasant spice of the green kepper to the sweating sting of the black. 

"Do you have black keppers? I haven't… I don't remember the last time I had one."

"Think you're a little too sick for a black kepper," the Kid said. The fire in the stove burned brightly and prickled sweat across Zulf’s skin. "But once you're better, I got a few."

Zulf squirmed around in his blankets. He tried to move his arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead, but his body was too light to lift his heavy arm. "Kid," he said, with a voice steeped in more weakness than he cared to show, "I'm too warm. Please, move my blanket for me."

"Gotta sweat the fever out," the Kid said, and then disappeared out of Zulf's line of sight and deeper into the kitchen.

There was the clattering of pots and pans and a softly whistled song, something tinged with all the pain and love of nostalgia. Zulf watched the fire crackle and dance, the one point of brightness in the dim room. Sleep sauntered over and suggested closed eyes and a sweet peace, but the breaking heat that swelled beneath his eyes broke and sprang into a chill that shuddered his body in every place. Zulf curled as best he could, but that chill crackled into his every movement. 

"Kid," Zulf breathed. "I need… I'm so cold."

The Kid’s whistling stopped. He had been standing at the counter and peeling jinna, but placed it down at Zulf's words.

"Fever's breakin', that's a good sign," the Kid said. He crouched down next to Zulf. "Ya want me to move you closer to the fire?"

"Please."

The Kid picked Zulf up and held Zulf close to his body, cradling Zulf as if he was a baby bird that fell out of a nest. He kicked the pillow pile over towards the fire, then laid Zulf back on it.

"This better?"

Shivers still trickled through Zulf's body, but the heat unbroke his shattered bones. "Thank you," Zulf murmured.

The Kid squeezed Zulf's shoulder and returned to his peeling. Zulf wished for sleep like every star there ever was, but it wouldn’t come. There was the fever, yes, but a question shifted beneath the surface and begged to be let out.

"Kid, tell me… how does a Cael man know how to make mushroom and jinna soup? I don't think I've met a Cael who knew what jinna even was."

The Kid shrugged, that practiced rise and fall of his shoulders. "Mama taught me how. Made it for me when I was sick, then I made it for her when she was. Just that."

Zulf closed his eyes and tried to remain tethered to the world. There were other ways to learn information; the Kid was dear, but sometimes he needed to be backed into a corner. "The missionary lived in a room in an Acobian temple. We lived there, together, up until the end. There was a big black kepper bush next to it. But when I was still young…" Zulf took a breath to steady himself. There was so much energy lost in talking. "There were two girls who lived nearby. They challenged me to a black kepper eating contest."

The Kid snorted. “S’pose that didn't go too good."

Zulf managed a laugh, almost. "It was not my best idea. These girls were twins; Yomiko and Zereva. Lovely girls. They had white hair. It's rare, but some Ura have it. Just like yours."

The Kid stopped his peeling. "Don't gotta be Ura to have white hair."

Zulf tried to sit up but his body remained stone. The Kid was big, bulky, with that bronzy skin so common among Caels. But that white, white hair of his…

"Your mother was Ura, wasn't she?"

There was a tight silence, a thin red line, and something like fear washed over Zulf and stuck in the crevices. The Kid resumed peeling the jinna.

"…Daddy said he didn't want to raise no half-breed. Mama used to say I looked just like him. Looked like a Cael man but got that white Ura hair." The Kid shrugged, but there was a tension in the rise and fall of his shoulders. "S'pose you ain't the only one who knows huh?"

"I imagine Rucks must, at least. Why didn't you tell us?"

"Didn't see a point. Ain't no reason to bring it up." The Kid finished his peeling and started on cutting the jinna into strips, the rhythmic chop, chop, chop rocking Zulf back and forth. "Don't need anyone else to throw me away."

Zulf forced himself into a sitting position with a deep groan. "Kid," he started, his whole world swaying, "my birth parents were Ura but I was raised more by the missionary than anyone else. I live both as Cael and Ura; I'm as much Cael as you are and as much Ura as you are. Blood will never stop us from loving you."

The Kid stopped his chopping and set down his knife. He sorted his words and moved them around in his mouth. Zulf fought the exhaustion of sitting up but soon collapsed back into the pillows. The world swam as it had, as if it had always done so and Zulf was just now realizing it did.

"... Think I should tell the others?" the Kid finally said, a carefulness to his words, as if he was testing a step on an icy lake to see if the ice would hold. 

"You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to," Zulf responded, his eyes fluttering open and shut, sleep gliding over him and calling his name. "Just… we'll always love you, every part of you, and no heritage can ever change that."

"...Thanks, Zulf," the Kid said, and there was a weightlessness in his voice that Zulf had rarely heard. How much the Kid carried on those big shoulders of his.

But sleep was too close and the swimming works rocked him to sleep. This did not go unnoticed; 

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you up when the soup's done."

"Thank you, Kid," Zulf murmured. "And… do you have Okimoki powder? I want it extra salty." A pause. "Please."

The Kid laughed. "Extra salty, just for you."

The Kid said more, but it was lost to Zulf. He floated away to sleep, and found a pleasantness there he had long forgot.

Mushroom and Jinna Soup

Serves 4

1 Lbs Jinna Root

6 Bolle Mushrooms, destemmed

2 Green Keppers, with seeds

2-4 Tbs Okimoki Powder

4 Cups of Water

Peel Jinna and chop into matchsticks. Destem Bolle Mushrooms and slice into strips. Half and slice Green Keppers into crescents, keeping the seeds. Boil water and Okimoki Powder until Okimoki is dissolved. Add Jinna, then cook until half-soft. Add Bolle Mushrooms and Green Keppers and cook until soft. Serve hot.

[the-wanted-man]

Memory prompt: Fuchsia

Send [ fuchsia ] for a blissful memory. 

My body was sore. My feet were tired. My mind, frayed. I looked like I’d been dragged through the sticks, and rocks and mud with both my feet tied to the back of a three-wheeled chocobo wagon traveling across a poorly cobbled road. Felt about the same, too. 

See, bliss can’t be fairly described unless you understood what came first. The meaning of it is never quite so full unless you've had somethin’ to put it into perspective for ya. In essence, to appreciate the good, you had to experience the bad and this...had been bad. To start where the blissful things began would rob the actual moment of its impact. 

I was cold n’wet. Hadn’t seen sunlight in what felt like weeks cuz when hunted, well an’ truly hunted, you can’t just galavant in the day. You got to make yer moves by night. I was tired. So damn tired. I wasn’t able to sleep much, or rest for long before I’d  hear th’cavalry comin’. Bloodhounds included. Shit, it was a whole damn mess.

Imagine, the most exhausted you’d ever been, where its deep in  your bones and double it times twenty. You’ve been on the run, right? How close have you ever come to gettin' caught? Ever run from somethin’ damn near impossible to escape? Well, this was one of those times where I could feel the hounds on me, nipping at my heels. Where death was so close I ain’t even have time to think of what it would be like if it caught me. Just had to keep runnin’. 

I’d had nothin’ but steel bars and jangling chains t’keep me company, and all the restrictive things that come with it. It was more than just a prison sentence though, and more than just prisoners there. Death sentences, and dead men walking. It was a place they sent you t’never see the light of day. To be caught in a place like that, was to never know bliss again. No one really gets out alive...or, well. You ain’t supposed to. 

...I busted out, of course, as one does. Made m’darin’ escape, the first of many from that point on and the pursuit had been spectacular. The how’s and why’s are best left for another time where  I can regale ya proper like.

Now, imagine instead, seeing sunlight  for the first time after you’ve only seen darkness. Hell, seein' colors after only knowin’ grey. Feeling warmth again, after only knowing cold. Breathing fresh air, after staying in a tight space. Feelin’ free for the first time in a year. Yeah, a whole damn year I’d been...locked away.  I remember breakin’ out of that cage and thinkin’, “Damn. A gravedigger couldn’t be happier quittin’ his job to make gardens over graveyards.” 

And then I remember thinking that I didn’t want to see another dead thing for a long, long time and that they’d have to put me in a pine box before I ever went back to where I’d been, and where I’d been is a lot less important than what I felt, peeling off my soiled clothes and stepping into my first hot shower in over twelve moons . 

When I tell you the tension about melted off me I do mean melted. Pure heaven in a  showerhead. Honestly, I thought I was goin’ to faint from the relief of it all. Had to sit down and just...let the water take all the awful off me. Gettin’ dirty don’t bother me, but uh...It felt so damn good to wash away the caked on layers of dry mud and sweat. Felt like a second skin by that point, in need of shedding. You can take a million showers, but none will ever compare to what that one felt like. I don’t think a dose of Somnus could have done me better. Not that...I partake. I’m just sayin’. 

I ate...so much food that night. A hot meal...nothin’ fancy, jus’ roasted dodo over some steamed vegetables an’ popotos but damn, might as well been the finest meal from...I dunno, The Bismarck. Oh man, and the rest I got after!? Bed was like a heap of clouds, hugging me from all over. You really take things like a warm shower, or a nice bed for granted, until you don’t have them anymore and don’t expect to have them again. 

@luck-and-larceny : As always, thank you for the ask box love :D 

​Memory Asks found here [♠]