#man i really do feel like i'm in an echo chamber of some sort | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rollercoasterwords · 2 years

Text

ok! i'm actually gonna be grumpy for a second

this is gonna be me talking about the circular online discourse of "omg it SUCKS that mlm fics are so much more popular than wlw fics" specifically in the marauders fandom i do not know if it will be productive or insightful or if it will just be me being grumpy so. scroll if u want lol

anyway. i'm just! getting kinda frustrated at this point with the amount of people i see saying something like "guys...isn't it crazy how mlm fics are sooooo much more popular!! it's because of misyogyny!!" and then everyone just agreeing with them and like. that's it. internet echo chamber.

and it's like no okay i get it we need to have a conversation like it's important to start this conversation but we just. keep starting it. and starting it. and starting it. and it feels like it's not even a conversation at this point.

ok hang on i'm gonna try to organize my thoughts because i feel like there are...perhaps two main things that annoy me

there is no bad guy in this situation

one thing that frustrates me is this sort of weirdly....moralizing? ig? underlying tone to a lot of these posts. like, it sometimes feels like people are searching for someone to blame or get upset with, or some group of people to blame or get upset with. it's not just "oh misogyny is a reason behind this," it's "making a post about this issue and the way you respond to posts about this issue is an indicator of your personal moral fiber and also i now win good person points for saying this thing that many people have already said." maybe i'm being too harsh here because i DO think people deserve the benefit of the doubt and i'm sure that most of the people pointing out this issue have good intentions, i just...idk. sometimes it feels like virtue signaling more than anything.

and i think the reason it sometimes feels like virtue signaling to me is that there is no bad guy in this situation! there isn't anyone to "catch out" for the misogyny underlying this whole popularity disparity. if someone exclusively reads/writes mlm fic, that does not make them a bad person. is there perhaps some self-reflection to be done about why that is the only form of media content they consume? sure! but that's a call-in, not a call-out. y'know? idk maybe this is a whole other discussion but i already made a post about the reason i think mlm is so much more popular than wlw so i'm not gonna say it all again lol

2. the solution is actually right there. it's RIGHT there. this is a solvable thing

okay this is the thing that i think bothers me more and that contributes to those posts feeling like virtue-signaling more than anything. and that's that, at the end of the day, just saying "omg mlm fics are way more popular ugh misogyny" isn't!! that!! productive!!

like guys. this is fanfiction. this is literally fanfiction. if you truly view this as a really big issue, there are actually things you can do to fix it!! you can write wlw fics! you can read wlw fics! you can comment and kudos and recommend and send nice messages to people who write wlw fics! like this is actually a situation where you as an individual can actively do shit ??? and any of those things will be more productive than just saying over and over again that there's an issue.

like. imagine with me for a moment. picture me this. "oh man," internet user x says, "it really sucks that mlm fics are so much more popular than wlw fics! i want to see more wlw fics in this fandom space." internet user x wants to see wlw fics getting more attention, so internet user x goes and finds some wlw fics. internet user x reads them. internet user x recommends them to some friends. wow! internet user x has identified something they are unhappy with and has taken steps to change it! yay!

ok i know i'm getting sarcastic at this point i KNOW i told u guys i was gonna be grumpy. but like. the point stands (i think?). like first of all -- this is not a life or death issue; it's something that i would love to see actual conversations about, but at the end of the day this is all fanfiction and it's not that serious. but if it IS something that bothers you, actually reading and recommending wlw fics is just going to do so much more than making another post about how crazy it is that mlm fics get more attention. like. we get it. we have established that. let's either have an actual conversation about it or move on please.

"oh i would but i can't find any good wlw fics" dm me. i'll give u some. ok??? i have a whole post of recommendations. go look at that. jfc. if i could find them u can too!! it might take a little more work but again, if this is something you care so deeply about then like...work to find them. just!!! yeah. ok. i'm done now i think if i just keep going i'm gonna get mean which isn't fair bc like i said i think the people making these posts are well-intentioned. i am just! grumpy :)

#grumpy!!!#grumpy posting #posting on tumblr and being grumpy about it #idk sometimes u just need to rant on ur silly little tumblr blog #also this is not about any specific person this is just a trend i've noticed #like i said there's no bad guy nobody is in the wrong here #sometimes i just get annoyed at things on the internet and it's not because there's some big moral issue #it's just because i'm a hater at heart <3 #txt #ranting and raving

60 notes · View notes

under-sedationnn · 3 years

Text

the arcana: main 3 reacting to mc bringing them breakfast in bed

anonymous: Could you do main three (arcana) reacting to reader surprising them with breakfast? Feel free to ignore this!

thanks for the request!! i generally don't ignore requests unless i, for some reason, feel uncomfortable fulfilling them :) so i definitely wouldn't pass up something this cute!! i'm assuming you wanted a headcannon simply because you didn't specify otherwise, but if you would like for this to be converted into imagines for each of the characters, just let me know!!

requests for the kissing prompts and physical affection prompts are STILL OPEN. please send them in with the character of your choice (which could be any character from any series i write for) and i will create an imagine!! thanks and happy reading!!

- i feel like this would be a little new to him

- because he's usually the one who brings you breakfast in bed

- to the point where it's not really a surprise anymore, like it's low-key expected

- you look forward to it

- however

- he had a really long night last night

- new inventory for the shop had gotten a little out of hand and he spent quite a few hours stocking shelves, sweeping the floor, cleaning glass, etc.

- you helped as much as you could, but he sent you to bed after it got dark

- so waking up with him still in bed was a nice surprise, and allowed you to return the favor

- he stirred a little in his sleep at your movement, but dozed back off immediately

- you decided on a lighter breakfast, something that would be refreshing

- the oven salamander toasted some bread from the market

- and you laid out slices of fresh fruit on a cutting board, placing the bread along with it

- you decided on a bright, citrusy tea

- he was still asleep when you brought it into your shared bedroom

- "asra? hey, wake up"

- shaking his shoulder kinda did nothing, i feel like he's a heavy sleeper

- a small kiss on his forehead

- that's what woke him up, love that

- when he saw the breakfast waiting at the end of the bed, two cups of tea steaming, he smiled sleepily and kissed the inside of your wrist

- "are we feeling generous this morning?" he mumbled against your skin

- "why wouldn't i? i thought i should repay the favor at some point"

- "it's not a favor when i bring you breakfast, i enjoy doing it"

- "well so do i, we can start taking turns from now on"

- he laughed lightly at that, and shared his breakfast with you

- most certainly fed you, and you did the same for him

- he really appreciates it, and thinks it's sweet that you would want to take care of him

- the morning is filled with quiet conversation, soft touch, and the rustle of bed sheets against bare feet

- so one

- this man can't cook

- soooooo this is not like asra

- he's used to you making breakfast for the two of you because the other option isn't really worth it

- you don't usually bring him breakfast in bed though

- and he honestly usually barely touches the breakfasts you do make because he's always in a rush to get out the door

- he gets up hella early to get to the clinic

- but you had planned this

- once the sun began to creep through the windows, you were up and out of bed

- did he protest? 100%

- "trying to escape me so early in the day? really, y/n, that's just cruel"

- "i have a surprise for you, so you're gonna have to deal without me for just a little bit"

- a sleep smirk ensued

- "a surprise?"

- "oh really, julian, nothing like that"

- a peck on his chest

- "that's for later"

- with a groan, he rolled over the other way and was back to sleep by the time you slipped out of your bedroom

- when he does make time to eat, julian really enjoys hardy breakfasts

- eggs, black coffee, some sort of breakfast meat, and lots of toasted bread from the market

- fruit platters really have no place in this meal for him, much to your protest

- you got to work, the steam from the poultry causing a greasy film to line the air

- it smelled delicious

- when you brought it in to him on a small tray, he was getting dressed

- dropping a boot to the floor, he smiled and asked, "is this my surprise?"

- "yes, and you had better eat every bite, i worked hard on it"

- "oh, so demanding," he teased, "if my appetite is just as taxing, i'll try and eat you up, as well"

- "only after you've had your breakfast"

- agreeing to your terms, you sat down on the bed and ate the filling plate of food with him

- the morning was filled with the pungent scent of black coffee, the crack of market bread, and the sound of julian's soft laughter

- i don't really think nadia is used to breakfast in bed

- she is used to being served her food

- but more so in a formal dining room, with guests, and in proper clothing

- so when you executed your plan of bringing her such a meal in bed, her servants were as shocked as you knew she would be

- the chef literally didn't even know what to tell you

- "you want to what?"

- "i want to make her breakfast, and then bring it up to our bedroom"

- "oh okay, uh, do you want me to help?"

- "no, you can start preparing lunch if you'd like"

- while raiding the pantries, you realized just how much food you kept in the palace kitchens

- spices, herbs, oils, grains, poultry, fine cheese

- it was all a little much

- so you decided on something simple

- an omelet was easy enough to make, and adding leafy greens and strong cheeses to the center of it was enough to make it look fancier than it was

- plating it alongside a bowl of fruit, diced and fried potatoes, and a glass of fresh squeezed lemonade, you made way for her sleeping chambers

- "milady, your breakfast is served"

- you tried your best to sound like portia, though it came out a bit silly

- lifting the sleeping mask from her eyes, she took in the sight of you standing beside the bed with a large, silver tray

- "y/n, darling, what in the heavens are you doing?"

- "i made you breakfast!"

- bending down slightly, you showed her the platter full of food

- her cheeks blushed slightly, and her eyes gazed at you lovingly

- "i think this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me"

- although you knew that your cooking skills didn't even come close to that of her professional chefs in the kitchen below, she ate everything with a smile and thanked you many times over

- the morning was filled with your voices echoing off the marble of the sleeping chamber, the clink of glasses, and the scent of nadia's sleep ridden body wafting throughout the air

#nadia the arcana #the arcana asra #asra the arcana #the arcana nadia #the arcana julian #the arcana imagines #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #arcana game

135 notes · View notes

holdmecloser-gandydancer · 3 years

Text

read here or on ao3!

Being a Regulator was one of the worst jobs Killian had ever decided to take. Don’t get her wrong, she knew that the purpose she served was great; she totally believed in doing everything in her power to keep the world safe, but it was so incredibly lonely. A good portion of Killian’s job description involved being prepared to kill any of her colleagues at a given moment. Didn’t exactly make for the most fun office relationships.

It was scary to think that at any moment, anyone in the Bureau could make a break against their procedures and require - well – regulation. When the Director had first approached about employment, Killian didn’t think much about it.

Okay, so my duties would be to stop people who use these things that you’re looking for?

In very simple terms, yes.

Great. When do I start?

Are you certain, Killian? This is going to be a highly dangerous job.

Listen, Madam Director, it beats the current gig I got so I’m in.

As the Bureau grew and turned into something much grander and more professional, Killian began to excel. She proved herself time and time again to be the most competent Regulator that the Bureau had. But it was that fact that she grappled with most.

Killian tried to keep a neutral face when she entered the Director’s office. She was being sent down planetside, though the details of the mission hadn’t yet been revealed to her.

“Killian, thank you for coming so quickly. As you know, your services are needed,” The Director’s face looked troubled and far away. “It’s Brian.” Killian let out a sharp, exasperated laugh.

“No way, Brian? Magic Brian? Director, surely there’s some kind of mistake! He wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Killian thought of the highly complimentary, dramatic drow she’d met her first day on the base. They had both been in the first crop of employees and they had become fast friends. Everyone had taken to calling him Magic Brian because he was simply too bombastic to have such a plain name. And he was one of the most accomplished arcanists any of the Bureau employees had seen.

“Killian, I wish that were the case. Unfortunately, during his reconnaissance mission to locate the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, he began to turn his back on the Bureau. Rather than seeking the Gauntlet for the good of the organization, we have it on good authority that he has started to seek it out for personal gain. In fact, we believe that he has,” the Director paused for a moment, considering her words carefully. “We believe he has hostages of sorts. It’s vital that you get down there, deal with him, and if you can, retrieve the Gauntlet.” Killian’s stomach fell. Regulating was one thing. That was her job, one she was very good at. But the idea of having to actually handle one of the relics herself? It scared her more than she cared to say.

“And I’m going alone?”

“Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be another option. Leeman is in the midst of preparing for a reclaiming mission himself and I don’t feel comfortable sending another Seeker down because I do fear that would put you in a hard position. Furthermore, I don’t believe the other Regulators are capable yet, frankly.” Killian’s thoughts rushed to Carey Fangbattle and to Boyland. Her regulator team. She was the unofficial captain, she supposed. She’d been at the Bureau for a few months longer than the two of them. And she also understood the Director’s unspoken addendum. She didn’t want to send more Regulators than necessary in case Killian herself had to be dealt with. Killian clenched her jaw, hoping no hesitation showed on her face.

“I’ll go get suited up and meet you and Avi at the hangar.”

“Actually, it’s just going to be Avi. He’s now going to be the sole one in charge of the Bureau’s transportation needs. The Millers have been working on adjustments to our system that make it easier to be manned by a single operator.”

“Oh shit, good for him.”

“Yes, he’s proven himself to be quite competent.” Lucretia reached into her desk and retrieved parchment and an inkwell. Killian turned to leave the Director’s office. “Oh, and Killian?”

“Yes, Madam Director?” the Director pressed her lips into a tight line.

“Don’t disclose the details of this to anyone yet. I know this is likely going to hit everyone hard and I frankly don’t want you to have to deal with that. I’ll figure out how to break the news.” Killian nodded and exited the office.

Late in the night she returned from the ruins of Phandalin, Killian found herself in the voidfish’s chambers. There had been a miraculous amount of excitement at the fact that a relic had been recovered and that the Bureau’s Reclaimer team had grown by three. Killian had done her best to slip away, sight unseen after she debriefed with the Director. She didn’t exactly feel like celebrating.

Instead, she felt like sitting on the ground in front of the voidfish’s tank, basking in its gentle light. She knew that Brian's Rites of Remembrance had been hastily done since the Director informed the Bureau of his treason. Traitors don’t get honor. But they do get grief, Killian thought to herself. She knew that Brian was too far gone by the time she reached him. She knew that he’d been ready to kill her with no second thought. She knew that he’d betrayed the Bureau and that betrayals wouldn’t stand in the organization. But all those facts didn’t keep her heart from twinging at the thought of Brian’s life just being wiped from memory.

“How’re you holding up?” Killian turned and saw Johann stride out from the shadows of the large room. She sighed and shrugged. Johann gazed at the voidfish for a moment before sitting on the ground beside her. They sat in silence for a while until a squeak by the doorway caused them both to turn around. Avi gave a meek wave before entering the room.

“Hey Avi,” Killian murmured quietly. He said nothing as he sat on Killian’s other side. The trio’s gazed up at the voidfish.

“Killian,” Avi began suddenly, “How was he?”

“He wasn’t himself. Not at all. I don’t know if that made it easier or harder, to be honest. I'm just glad that it wasn’t me who did him in.”

“Right, it was one of the new guys?” Johann turned to look at Killian for a moment. She nodded.

“Yeah, that new wizard, Taako, I think. I just still can’t believe he’s gone.” Killian didn’t tell anyone about the fact that she didn’t land a single hit on Magic Brian or his stupid fucking spider. She went running as soon as she could.

Avi tilted his head back and frowned. “Shit. His fiancé.” The trio grimaced. They all had lovely and ornate invitations in their own dormitories to Brian’s wedding. But at least the voidfish was supposed to handle all the messy things for the non-inoculated.

“I'm gonna miss that son of a bitch.” Johann mused quietly.

“Me too.” A gravitas-filled voice made the trio turn. The Director stood in the doorway, flanked by Carey and Boyland. They approached, staying mostly silent. Carey squeezed Killian’s shoulder and the six of them stayed in the voidfish’s chambers for some time.

Killian really did her best to keep from getting close to her coworkers, especially after what she was forced to do in Wave Echo Cave. It was terrifying to think that someday someone could be her coworker and then her assignment the very next day. Annoyingly, though, Carey Fangbattle seemed determined to break through Killian’s walls. She had done her best to get Killian to open up about her past, her fears, and everything in-between. Killian did her best to keep the dragonborn woman at arm’s length but the rogue was persistent.

“So, what was your deal before the Bureau?” she had asked one day while the pair was sparring. Boyland was home visiting family.

“Uh, you know, typical stuff. Pretty small family, we’re from a town outside of Neverwinter. They’re mostly all fighters so I took up that mantle. It was a pretty basic choice. What about you?”

“Heh, less basic than that. Small family too, just my parents, my brother, and me. He became a bard and I became a rogue. Our parents hate both these paths for both of us,” Carey chuckled after dodging a particularly swift sideswipe from Killian. “But you can’t ever seem to please barbarians, you know?” Killian laughed stepped out of the way of a deft roll Carey did. They continued sparring and joking for hours.

Killian found herself back in the voidfish’s chambers after she heard about Leeman Kessler and again after she heard about Captain Captain Bane. She hadn’t been particularly close to either of them be she saw that both these losses hurt Avi and Lucretia, respectively. Both times, she found herself surrounded by the five others who’d come together after the death of Magic Brian. They never coordinated it or spoke about it but something about basking in the company of each other in the glow of the voidfish gave them all a comfort none of them would admit to needing. At one point, Carey began to slip in beside Killian, forcing Avi to scoot to the orc’s other side. The rest of them changed position pretty frequently, depending on when they arrived. The Director eventually began siting on the floor with the five of them. When they were all in their unofficial ceremony for Captain Captain Bane, everyone had the courtesy to ignore the few tears shed by the Director.

Killian began to grow closer to Carey which scared the orc. It wasn’t that she didn’t love all the joy that the rogue brought her. That wasn’t it at all. But she couldn’t help but think about the fact that part of both their job descriptions involved being prepared to destroy their colleagues at any given moment. It wasn’t that Killian didn’t want to grow closer to Carey. If she was being honest, she’d love nothing more. She was just terrified.

Five of them gathered after Killian and Carey returned from the Miller’s lab. Boyland’s Rites ceremony wouldn’t be performed for some time. None of them were prepared to write out every detail of the man who’d brightened their days countless times.

They’d all already gathered after learning of the passing of Maureen Miller, but this time was different.

Maureen Miller and Lucas Miller would not receive Rites, though that didn’t stop the group from mourning them. Killian and Carey had quietly agreed to keep up the charade Magnus had set up in the lab. They both intended on interrogating him about it, but this was not the place to unwind it.

Truthfully, all of them were openly crying. Their tears were mostly quiet but they traced bright, shiny paths down their faces in the glow of the tank.

“Fucking Boyland. Him and his fucking cigars,” Carey said, leaning against Killian. She said nothing, instead choosing to wrap a protective arm around the dragonborn woman.

“I just can’t stop thinking about all his kids,” Avi’s face was unusually solemn. He retrieved his flask from his pocket and took a swig from it before passing it to Johann.

“Well, I mean, I understand that he was using a relic but,” Johann took a swig and passed the flask to Killian “Lucas was just a kid. I can’t believe that the Miller line is just… gone.”

Killian drank from the flask and passed it to Carey. “I can’t believe all the sketchy shit he was doing in that lab.” Carey gulped down some Brandywine and tentatively passed the flask to the Director.

“Grief is one hell of a drug,” the Director said hollowly, draining the remainder of the flask. “He was destroyed by the loss of his mother. Losing a loved one makes you do terrible things, especially if you think you could get them back.” She slid the flask back to Avi. The four others in the chamber glanced at the Director but said nothing. She was a woman who seemed to be haunted by griefs none of them could ever imagine.

Killian let her guard down at last. She let Carey inside her walls and was truthfully never happier. There was still an ever-present stripe of fear in Killian’s heart but somehow, when Carey was in her arms, it didn’t matter so much. Killian decided to appreciate and love Carey while she was alive rather than wait until she was despairing in front of a cryptic fish with an assortment of her closest friends and confidants.

After the day of Story and Song, after the Hunger had been defeated, after the base had been cleaned up, after a world of revelations had come to light, Killian and Carey found themselves in the voidfish’s chambers. Well, what used to be the voidfish’s chambers. Fisher was no longer there, the tank was shattered, and there was a noticeable absence in the room. They still sat in the spots they’d become so used to sitting in, though the room was far darker than it used to be. They both had their head in their hands when they heard familiar footsteps pad into the room. Avi practically collapsed next to Killian. She wrapped an arm around her friend and pulled him in close. None of them could speak. What could you say?

“I can’t believe it. In his last fucking act he just –“ Avi broke his sentence off and shook his head. He reached into his pocket and fished out his flask, dented but still functional. He held it up in a toasting motion and took a deep drink. Killian grabbed it from him and followed suit before passing it to Carey. Like a ghost, the Director, Lucretia, the woman they all suddenly knew in ways they never expected, appeared at Carey’s side. She wordlessly and unceremoniously sat down, taking the flask.

“How are you all doing?” she asked after a sip of Brandywine.

“Uh, not fucking great.” Avi reached out for the flask with one hand, scrubbing tears away with the other.

“Yeah, Madam Director, it’s been a bit of a day,” Carey said hoarsely before burying her face into Killian’s side.

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Well, how are you doing, Lucretia?” Killian asked after a moment of silence. Lucretia barked out a humorless laugh.

“Shitty.”

Carey and Killian’s wedding was a beautiful affair, but it wasn’t without its more somber moments. The two women had an entire row of empty chairs reserved at the ceremony. They said nothing about their purpose but it didn’t take much energy to determine their purpose.

At one point in the evening, the pair found themselves sitting with Avi and Lucretia.

“And here’s the beautiful couple!” Avi said brightly, wrapping the brides in a tight hug.

“The ceremony was beautiful,” Lucretia delivered a hug to the couple once they detangled from Avi.

“It really was, huh?” Carey squeezed Killian’s hand. Killian’s smile was tinged with sadness.

“Hey um. Thank you both for being here. There’s already too many people missing and I don’t know how it would have been without you both.”

“Killian, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” Lucretia reached a hand out and squeezed the orc’s arm. Avi looked around and snagged four glasses of champagne off a waiter’s tray. After passing glasses to the three women around him, Avi raised his glass in a toast.

“To Johann and Boyland.”

Carey raised her glass. “To Noelle and Captain Captain Bane.”

Lucretia followed suit. “To Maureen Miller and Magic Brian.”

Killian raised her glass. “Fuck it, to Fisher and Junior.” The four laughed gently before toasting.

Killian was never more grateful for her friends than she was in that moment. So much had been lost in the pursuit of balance, but she was grateful that their memories would remain with her. And she was never so glad to have been finished with a job.

#taz balance #taz #the adventure zone #tazb #killian #carey fangbattle #lucretia #avi #johann #taz fic #my writing #team sweet flips

37 notes · View notes

residentbunburyist · 3 years

Note

for the askbox game: I know roughly where you stand on a good chunk of these I think but I like to pick brains anyway so I'm just gonna: ocelhira, bbkaz, snakemeryl (sn... sneryl??), vkaz, otasune (I just wanna know the answer to 3 in particular for this one eheeh) takes a bow

aw hell yeah. i'm gonna do ALL of them!!

but maybe under a cut because it'll go for a bit

OCELHIRA -

1. What made you ship it?

love it. one of my favorite trash ships. 10/10. hatefucking their way through a decade of warcrimes

i am a huge sucker for angry, twisted, mutually angry relationships, and this has everything that i want: they're forced to work together towards a mutual goal for the man they both love while he sleeps, and they're angry, and jealous, and both awful people in their own rights. i love it

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

i like seeing the multitude of ways that people fill the 9 years that bb was asleep with the two of them, and how they explore how they worked with each other and maybe started relying on each other more than they wanted to. but most importantly, i love the deceit and the knowledge that ocelot was still lying to him the entire time with the full intention of just dropping him like a rock for bb once he needs to, like ocelot always does.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i've read a few fic where ocelot really does switch allegiances and falls truly in love with kaz, and betrays bb for kaz and v. i can't jive with that. i'm far too dedicated to ocelot's single-minded obsession with bb to let him ever fully change his allegiances. only work up some lovely lovely regret and conflicted feelings.

have my wonderful Ocelhira playlist

BBKAZ -

1. What made you ship it?

also love it. 100/10. 2 men, 1 braincell, 1000 war crimes.

what made me ship it is just all of their AMAZING interactions in peace walker. the relationship between the two of them just progressed in such a weird, but also weirdly natural way, and i can absolutely believe in their comradarie and affection

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

i love how these two get along together like an oil fire. they drive each other to new heights, and new ideas, but also enable each others' worst tendencies. in the peace walker tapes, you can really see how well they feed into each others' self-involved echo chambers, and convince each other that the things that they're doing are not only good, but GREAT ideas. i wholly believe that bb would not have become who he was without kaz egging him on, both feeding his grandiose view of himself and his world-view. plus of course i adore how it all falls apart in the end and the end their lives as bitter enemies. perfection

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i always really really hate when people flatten kaz down to some sort of... battered housewife and bb into a manipulative, abusive husband. because bb was physically stronger and so came out on top of their fights, that must mean that kaz must be reduced to a quavering waif who doesn't understand that he's actually being abused and that's just... missing the mark on their relationship in so many different ways and i fucking hate it.

have my wonderful bbkaz playlist

SNAKEMERYL -

1. Why don’t you ship it?

I like thinking that they briefly got together after Shadow Moses, but obviously they didn't canonically work out. I'm going to say I don't ship it, just because I like working within those confines. i like thinking that they stayed together for a few months, but due to just... their mutual bad coping and disinterest in talking about their problems, Snake didn't have enough support to not fall back into his drinking and closing himself off, and Meryl got frustrated both with Snake not meeting any of her standards in a 'never meet your heroes' sort of way, and way too cooped up and lonely because she wasn't ready to wallow and write off her whole life.

2. What would have made you like it

i kind of like it just the way it is, honestly? like, i really like that they didn't work out, and that the spark that they had during Shadow Moses was based more on danger and adrenaline than actual compatibility. If anything i think i would have liked to just see a little bit more of what their time together in Alaska post MGS1 was like before Meryl left

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

i really like all of the interactions between the two of them, both in mgs1 and mgs4. also i just adore Meryl in general. she's perfect.

VKAZ -

1. Why don’t you ship it?

this is a really hard one. like... I DO ship it, but... I'm going to say no, just because i only like it under VERY specific circumstances and i very rarely see it done in a way that i like. i'm incredibly picky when it comes to vkaz

2. What would have made you like it

it's one of those ships that i theoretically go ham for, and when it IS done right it hurts in the best possible way. i think... i can never get into it when it gets TOO tender, and they actually fall for each other, or become...healthy, in any way? Like, v and kaz don't communicate. basically at all. throughout all of mgsv, we only see kaz fluctuate wildly between codependently thinking that v is the only person he can trust, the one who can fix everything, the reason he's been putting himself through so much hell for the last decade... and then being vicious and vindictive when v doesn't meet the standards that he's worked up in his mind over that long period. and v, lacking any and all of the charisma that bb had, completely fails to meet kaz at any point. his reactions tend to be anywhere between confused, hurt, or upset but patient, but never... connecting. they have none of the spark, romantic or destructive, that bbkaz had. they are two husks of people who used to exist, but don't any longer (in v's case much more literally so), clinging to each other because of a sunken cost fallacy and because they're all that the other has. but there's no point in mgsv where they actually seem to connect in nearly the same capacity as just bb and kaz ranting excitedly about international politics and their plans for the future. it's tragic, it's empty, and when people explore it like that, i love it. basically... for having chosen to say i don't ship it, i sure do have a LOT to say about it

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

i've seen a few fanworks that depict them in the absolute perfect way, and when it threads that needle, it becomes one of my favorite things. it's potentially the most poetic and painful pairing in the series and the people who can make it work KILL IT.

have my wonderful vkaz playlist

OTASUNE -

1. What made you ship it?

as opposed to all of the others, which i enjoy for their unhealthiness and tragedy, snake and otacon are perfect for each other and do an amazing job at learning and growing and healing together and it's absolutely one of my favorite pairings ever. the both of them had hard lives, and had made bad choices, and were having a lot of trouble connecting to other human beings in different ways. But they do such a good job of like... not perfectly, not without difficulties, but very realistically helping each other to become better and happier people

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

watching their relationship develop between mgs1, mgs2, and mgs4 is so good. watching them become more comfortable as partners, and then become the person that the other understands more than anyone else, is just so heartwarming to watch.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

the next person who depicts otacon as a perpetually sobbing but also tender and understanding uwu softboi who needs big strong david to hug him and solve every problem for him gets both a kick in the teeth and a full transcript of every time that otacon has been kind of a sarcastic or passive agressive dick

#ship ask #ask meme #metal gear solid #long post

7 notes · View notes

xxkellsvixen19xx · 3 years

Text

Sweet Blasphemy Andy Biersack X Reader

Word Count: 1,467

Warning: Discussion on self harm & depression, religion (God mentioned), swearing, suicidal thoughts

Lyrics Used: Sweet Blasphemy by Black Veil Brides

Scars.

She had an abundance.

Her wrists, her thighs, her hips, her sides.

A scar here, a newer cut there, look around you'll see them everywhere.

Some from a blade, some from shards of glass, some just purely accidents.

Should she cover them? Let them show? This is an answer she truly doesn't know.

She isn't ashamed, but certainly not proud.

Her cuts have now all healed and scars started to fade.

She's ok.

*********************************************

The grass spreading across the plain

In one year withers, flourishes again

Burned by prairie fire doesn’t go to waste

By a spring wind blowing with new life is graced.

"My love for you is deeper than your cuts, deeper than everything else." He whispered softly pulling her close.

"Y/N?" She heard Andy's voice and looked up. She was about to wipe her tears away when he interrupted her pulling her into a hug.

Andy grabbed her hand holding it under the table his thumb rubbing softly over the back of her hand.

She looked straight up into his face and saw something she had never seen before…. acceptance.

Just as she was about to cry she felt a pair of arms around her pulling her close. Looking up to see Andy's face she couldn't stop her tears from falling. She started sobbing softly and couldn't stop. She usually didn't show her weakness around others but something about him was different. He seemed trustworthy and she had this strange feeling in her stomach.

"Y/N no matter what anyone says, I am here for you." Andy whispered lightly pulling out of the hug to stroke a strand of her hair behind her ear.

𝖂𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖌

𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖙𝖍 𝖎𝖓 𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋 𝖜𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊

𝕾𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖇𝖊

𝕴 𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖘𝖊 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌

𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝕴 𝖜𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖊𝖛𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖊

𝕴 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊'𝖘 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊

𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖊𝖊

𝕿𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖞

She slowly shook her head, her beautiful eyes were full of pain and sadness. But not the physical kind, but more the kind of pain that gets caused by words and will never fully heal. This was the exact reason why Andy told himself to protect her at all costs, he was her guardian angel.

Her Good Samaritan is black-haired, blue-eyed, and drop dead gorgeous, the complete embodiment of her perfect man, but he’s more than what he seems. The strange familiarity in his eyes, his touch.

Her knight in shining armor had arrived after all. She'd never dreamed her prince charming would turn out to be a guardian angel, but life was full of surprises.

The moment Andy saved her human life for the first time, a moment also drowned by tears and agony. He found it ironic even then that he had been alive for thirty years as a human, he had never felt this peculiar and distinct connection.

I remember when Andy first saw the cuts along my wrist it wasn't easy trying to explain it honestly. When he asked me why this was the only way I felt I could explain it….

The sting of a cut would push me into reality. It evaporated the numbness I felt inside and helped me feel real and alive.

It helped me smile and pretend that I was okay. Over time though The more I cut, the more tolerance I had for it, so I had to cut deeper and more often.

At that point, I had a collection of what I referred to as tools, each tool for a different cut. I had three, five, and single blades. The three and five were mostly for use at home, but the single was my travel blade. It was more discrete because it was smaller, and I could do a quick cut in the bathroom stall. If I were really desperate, I would cut right in class. When you have an addiction like cutting, it becomes more than a coping method; it becomes a lifestyle, a skill. Cutting was my skill and I had it down to a science.

Andy's POV…..

It can be hard to understand why someone you love might injure himself or herself on purpose.

Some people turn to this behavior when they have problems or painful feelings and haven't found another way to cope or get relief.

Most of the time, people who cut themselves don't talk about it or let others know they’re doing it. But sometimes they confide in a someone. Sometimes someone might find out in another way.

Y/N looked so sad she didn't realize that the pain seemed obvious but it was way more to my eyes than she even realized.

Though she did her best to not show emotion in front of people once saying it was a sign of weakness. But when she started sobbing there was no way she could control it. It killed me to see her so upset, I pulled her tightly to me hugging her close.

It took a little bit but she started to calm down, "Your heartbeat is soothing, I don't understand why but for some reason it is." She admitted to me after a long silence.

Y/N POV…..

I didn't know or understand how but being with Andy brought me peace. I never would have thought a single person could make the pain go away but somehow this f*cked up universe managed to prove me wrong.

This small act was enough to let you know that someone actually truly cared and to be honest it was all you really wanted was to be at peace instead of your soul constantly at war.

Before now….. before Andy it hurt. There's not much left to smile at, not much left inside you that knows how to smile. The once warm space behind your ribs was cold and dry – a wrinkled chamber where all traces of a heart have been scraped out – and you wondered why you still bothered to stay alive more often than you cared to admit.

You can't die , a voice echoes in your head, you've been cursed beyond your time; you life.

There aren't many lucky days in your life, but today is one of them.

A rarity – lonely, candid flower on a mountaintop; glowing gemstone encased in rough, dead dirt – and you cradle it so close and so tight with all the fear of losing one blissful little moment.

Andy is beautiful. He always is, whether you see him in sweaty, jogging clothes or in a pristine, carefully picked out outfit. He's beautiful like this – washed out jeans and black leather jacket draped over slender shoulders clad in a black t shirt. The light shines in his eyes, it illuminates everything that surrounds him, putting the Sun to shame. It shines over all the shadows, warms all the bones in your body.

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, then you would realize how special you are to me."

'Do you believe in God?" Your cousin asked one day what seemed ages ago. Given that she was a die hard religious holy roller her response was of no surprise to you. "I do I absolutely believe in God."

"I don't know exactly what I believe in but I believe there is something bigger than me out there."

The depression seemed to just get worse one day Andy asked you "Do you want to talk about it?"

You shrugged "I don't see why talking about it would make it any better."

"It won't make it better." He'd responded "but not everything is about making things better." He paused placing his hand over the top of yours. "Sometimes you need to get things off your chest, speak your truth into the universe. You won't get anything from it but sometimes some emotions are too much to keep inside. You carry a sort of a burden and it hurts you more in the long run."

You feel two strong arms wrap themselves around you. The intoxicating smell of of deodorant or aftershave makes him smell so damn good. "I got you baby girl." His deep voice rumbles in your ear and a calmness washes over you.

"I know your going through a lot and don't want to intrude I just want to tell you that I'm here for you." Andy twirled one of his fingers around a single strand of your hair that had fallen in front of your face. There were times where words weren't necessary to exchange and that was just fine the simple act of just simply being around one another was enough really and all that you really needed.

#andy biersack x reader #andy biersack imagine #andy biersack #fan fiction

53 notes · View notes

megsironthrone · 3 years

Text

Meg's Game of Tales: Tale 9

*Familiar characters are NOT mine! The original English version of the story "The Pied Piper" is traced back to Richard Verstegan and has also been adapted by many other authors, like The Brothers Grimm*

Warnings: Angst-ish. Violence Kidnapping????Of a sort I guess. "The Pied Piper" AU

Pairings: No pairings...no reader either, actually(And unintentionally), but I didn't think it was necessary for this.

Arya sat across from the village elder and his council. Breathing deeply, she crossed her legs and pretended to examine her nails as her gloves balanced on her lap. She was, for lack of a better word, bored. She'd been summoned to this little village and instead of getting right to the point, the council was skirting around the issue.

"Are you going to get to the point any time soon? There were a dozen other villages I passed on the way here that I'm certain would have problems that I can handle for them," Arya stated. She'd had enough of the small talk. The elder cleared his throat and nodded.

"Very well. We have a problem. Bandits come into our village every week. They steal whatever they can. Food, livestock, gold, jewelry. Anything even remotely of value. Our village is not the poorest in the kingdom, but we cannot continue accepting these loses. And those rats will probably come again tonight." Arya fought down a smile. Bandits she could handle. Bandits were fun.

"I can guarantee you that you will no longer have to suffer these bandits. After tonight, they will never come again." The council looked relieved, making Arya smirk as she continued, "For the price of 300 silver pieces, as agreed in our letters." A soft unanimous sound of disapproval echoed through the room. Clearly the elder hadn't informed his council of everything. Arya uncrossed her legs and sat forward a bit.

"This is no small task and it is dangerous. I will do what you ask, but I will be paid what I am owed. No matter what. But, as a show of good faith, I will rid you of your bandits first. I expect my payment tomorrow morning. 300 silver pieces." Arya stood, slipped her gloves back on, and left the room to find a place at the inn until nightfall. Did she feel bad? A little. But a girl's gotta eat and Arya traveled everywhere doing this sort of thing. Money didn't last long.

It didn't take long after nightfall for the sound of screams to reach Arya's ears. Grinning to herself, Arya grabbed up her weapons that included a long, thin blade (she'd named it Needle) gifted to her by her cousin and an ornate dagger that was a gift from her sister. She ran outside and was nearly run over by one of the villagers. She ushered them inside then came face-to-face with the expected group of bandits.

The first part was easy. Arya never had any problem getting men to underestimate her. She was a small young woman and didn't look like she'd be able to take on one grown man, let alone the six of them. She could, and did, easily get them to follow her outside the village to a nearby forest where a deep, thick swamp was. The next part was a little more difficult, but that was the part Arya loved best. Ridding the world of scum that took advantage of those weaker than them.

By the time the sun peaked over the horizon again, Arya was making her way back to the village. Her muscles ached and she was splattered with blood, but the job was done. No more bandits. When she reached the village, Arya made the decision to return to the inn and clean herself up and get some sleep before demanding her payment from the council.

Arya woke a couple of hours later and went to the council chambers. The members of the council all wore an expression of fear mixed with stubbornness. Arya didn't even bother sitting in the chair they had provided for her. Instead, she stood, hands clasped behind her back. "My payment?" The elder cleared his throat.

"You must understand…when we promised you that money, we didn't know what else to do. We had to stop the bandits. The bandits are gone and you can move on to a village that will be willing to pay you your hefty fee. We cannot and will not."

A dark cloud came over Arya's face. "Is that right?" The elder met her gaze and nodded, though she could still see the fear in his eyes. Arya's hand went into her pouch. The council instantly stiffened until Arya pulled out a small flute of sorts. It didn't look like much, but it seemed to give off an aura of pure evil. Arya sighed heavily.

"I hate doing this, but you've left me no choice. I told you that I would be paid what I am owed. Since you have you refused, you will still pay. Only you will not pay with money. No, you will pay with your village's children. Until I am paid what I am owed, I will return every year and take more children of the village with me. You will never know where they go or if they are even alive." Without another word, Arya left, the flute gripped in her fist.

Once outside, Arya put the flute to her lips and began playing a gentle tune. At first, people looked at her like she was mad. The council had followed her out and nearly began laughing at her. But then, as if under a magic spell, all the children came wandering away from their homes and parents. They crowded around the young woman before, much to the parents' dismay, the children followed Arya out of the village and into the nearby forest, never to be seen again.

The elder and the council didn't believe Arya's threat was genuine. They were certain that she would return the children by nightfall that evening. She didn't. Still, the village held up hope that the children would be returned. Year after year passed and they waited. Eventually, the villagers began to lose hope and pressured the council to pay the young woman. The council never listened.

Arya was never paid and, true to her word, every year, more children went missing. Year after year after year after year. The council died off. New council members were appointed from outside the village. They never paid Arya either. The same cycle continued on for nearly 20 years until one year, no children when missing.

Many people said Arya had disappeared. Some said she finally gave up. More people thought she'd died. No one knew what happened to her and no one asked. Her story became a legend. Then only a story. A fairytale the villagers told their children to get them to behave. Yet there are still some that believe the Bandit-Banishing Piper is still around and is simply biding her time.

(a/n: I am actually really pleased with this one, but let me know what you lovelies think! Also, we are half-way through our Game of Tales! Tag list for the celebration is still open!)

#meg's game of tales #game of thrones #fairytale au #the pied piper au #arya stark #x reader

8 notes · View notes

eddie-redmayne-italian-blog · 4 years

Text

Eddie's interview from Style Magazine

By Valentina Ravizza

Photo: Boo George

Styling by Fabio Immediato.

Translate by me from Italian to English

HE WOULD HAVE had to spend the holiday in Italy,” I have a real obsession for your country “,Eddie Redmayne responds from a gray London,” more suited to my pale complexion”, and tells for the first time (and I try to collect my own thoughts) of his next character, the American activist Tom Hayden, protagonist of the protests against the Vietnam war in 1968 and 77e trial of the Chicago 7, the new film by Aaron Sorkin, arriving on Netflix from October 16. "Democracy is something extraordinarily beautiful and complex, nothing comes easily, we must defend our freedoms if we don't want them to be taken away from us."

It can be risky for an actor to take a public position, Aren't you afraid to undermine your popularity?

“The truth is, I'm not afraid to take sides, we all should. I feel a social responsibility as a human being: today more than ever we should ask politicians certain questions. I'm not one who particularly likes to take risks unless it's for something I deeply believe in.”

For exemple?

To play Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything I met several people affected by ALS and doctors who helped me to learn more about the disease, and now I am among the supporters of the Motor Neurone Disease Association. During the lockdown in Britain was made a list of vulnerable people and I found it shocking that patients with motor neuron disease were not part of it, so I spoke to several politicians and went to help them. As an actor my voice has more chances to be heard and I can bring more light on this topics, I have to do it.

Also politicians as in the case of The Trial of Chicago 7?

This film tells how we got rights by changing wrong laws and remember that progress could have gone in one direction rather than another.

Is there any similarity between the protests of the 1960s and those of movements such as Black Lives Matter ?

There are moments in history when people ask for society to really represent them and that's exactly what happened then and what many people are doing in these months. The demonstrations mentioned in the movie were against the Vietnam war, but also supported the claims of the civil rights and feminist movements, the one against which they are protesting today has it’s roots in systemic racism, so the similarities are many.And there are also several other parallels between the two political situations: at the 1968 Democratic convention there was a former vice president, Hubert H. Humphrey, right-hand man of Lyndon Johnson, who ran for the White House, as today former Vice President Joe Biden is in running, and there was a Republican candidate for president who was betting for “law and order” , then it was Richard Nixon, now the same campaign is being carried out by Donald Trump.

Today there is social media, what would have happened if Tom Hayden and the others from Chicago had it?

Hard to say, myself I don't use them . While they represent a great tool of democracy that gives everyone a voice from the shore to power, they also contribute to exacerbate and amplify the falsehoods and prejudices of those who listen only to what they want to hear, in a sort of echo chamber, and they can be used to manipulate things in a very pervasive way.

Is it more difficult to play a figure you esteem like Hayden or one you despise?

I try not to judge, to dissociate my sense of reality to recreate hers. I do as much research as possible, accumulating a lot of information and then throwing everything away and play only what's in the script, hoping that all the prep work has been absorbed somehow into my body, And knowing that that movie will never be. a documentary: I am creating a painting, not a photograph. For this I must accept that I will never be able to be exactly that person, that in something I will necessarily fail.

And when the character is a pure author’s Fantasy product?

It’s like when you were told at school to make a free written essay: I hated it, I said “please, give me a lead!”, In these cases I try first of all to understand what the boundaries are, to find some elements of truth: for example, in the saga of the Fantastic Beasts to become the "Magizoologist" Newt Scamander I started by observing the work of zoologists.

How is it divided between entertainment and committed movies?

In my choices I have always let myself be guided by instinct: I read a script that my body reacts, I get excited, I laugh, I am touched to the point of seeing myself in the role of that and than understand that I really have to do it.

Did the same happen with Tom Hayden?

They first told me about it three years ago while I was on vacation in Morocco, when told me it was Sorkin who wanted me it was like a dream come true. I read the script and it not only ran , but it had a kind of syncopated rhythm I immediately loved it. Then when I got better informed about the project, I found out that it had been written years ago and I couldn't believe he hadn't seen the light yet.

In fact, the first draft is from 2007.

We wondered if this movie had an audience, if it was current enough.Instead with what’s going it has become more and more pressing

So much so that in order to release it this year, given the health emergency Paramount Pictures has decided to sell the film to Netflix (56 millions of dollars) to be distributed directly via streaming.

There could be no better way than Netflix to reach as many people as possible. And I say this as a passionate cinemas’ lover . Unfortunately in the last 20 years I have witnessed a general loss of attention span: there is always a new story to know, we are constantly being pulled in different directions, and instead find ourselves in a cinema hall being forced to sit there for two hours and half even when our attention tries to escape, it’s a kind of pleasant claustrophobia.

And theater, is it still part of your life?

I know that more years go by without me returning to the stage more what I’ll say l’ll sound insincere, but yes, my career started from there, I spent 5 o 6 years working in London theaters. I knew almost nothing about cinema until that world began to open its doors to me, I had to learn a lot on the set. I’ve been looking for a theatrical project, but so far what has been proposed to me are works by the greatest authors, and instead I’d like do something new, fresh. Maybe I found it, but I still can't say anything.

Have you ever thought of letting yourself be taken one day by another passion besides acting?

My other great love is art, but if I ever have to work on it, I imagine myself more as a curator than as a co-worker. But I honestly think that being an actor is extraordinary: whatever part you encounter on your path continues to grow:although sure it’s a wild life and it's a drug.

Are you a workaholic?

In the beginning I was because I had no alternative: I was constantly auditioning and once I got a part immediately got to work, Until in this unfair world of acting there came a moment when I was suddenly successful and overnight I finally had the opportunity to choose. Many people are looking forward to retirement, I hope I’m offered roles even when I’m 80 years old.

At that age maybe you will also be behind the camera?

I'm a bit of a control freak,so yes, I could potentially one day go directing, even just out of curiosity But only if I had to find the right project, something in which I feel safe,

55 notes · View notes

moth-and-raven · 4 years

Text

CHAPTER FOUR

The rest of the day passes in a haze. Loud cheers met Nadia’s announcement and Portia slipped into the rush just in time to board the carriage, tear-stained but determined to fight through it.

I must have been imagining things. I don’t want to think poorly of Julian, but I have to face facts: people will do and say anything to keep themselves off the gallows. He’s smart. He’s charismatic. He knows I’m working with the Palace. I can’t help but think he was just trying to endear himself to me, taking advantage of how obviously attracted to him I am. I can’t blame him for that. It’s my own fault for chasing what was a pathetic pipe dream from the start.

I retreat to my room after we return to the palace. It’s not unreasonable, considering I haven’t slept much in the past few days. From my bed, I watch spots of sunlight creep across the ceiling until I fall asleep. At least it’s dreamless this time.

Portia comes to get me for dinner in the late evening, when the sky’s turned purple. She’s itching with curiosity, peeking at me from the corner of her eye the whole way to the dining hall. Before we enter, she clears her throat.

“So, um.”

“It was nothing.” If I keep telling myself that, maybe it’ll hurt less. “Did you—?”

“Safe and sound. At least as much as he can be.”

“How long had it been since—?”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth just like he does. “Ten years, give or take. The last time I saw him was right after his apprenticeship. He came back to Nevivon for a few months while he was figuring out what else to do. I was only sixteen, so he must’ve been… twenty-five?”

The same age I am now. I didn’t realize he was that much older than me, though I suppose it makes sense. He’s lived quite a life. Yet more reason for him to see nothing of interest in me.

Portia pushes on: “What will you say to—?”

“I’m not telling her anything.” I shake my head and look away. “I don’t have anything to tell her anyway.”

That’s not a lie. I may know more about him now, but nothing pertinent.

“She’ll ask.”

“I know.”

I must not be doing as good of a job hiding my sadness as I thought I was, because Portia rests her hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. I don’t have it in me to say that whatever she’s imagining isn’t true.

I can’t do this.

“Could you tell Nadia that I—” Humiliated, I choke on my tears. “I'm— I’ll be in the library.”

I’m already around the corner by the time she agrees. I don't know what I’m going to do there, but at least I’ll be alone. Again.

I may not remember beyond the last three years, but I know in my heart that I’ve never been loved like I am in my dreams. I probably never will be. With all the beautiful people out there, who would choose me, the fat twenty-five-year-old virgin so gullible she falls for every man who looks at her twice? What could I possibly offer someone like him?

Nothing.

Painful, empty nothing.

I end up at the library eventually. At least I can navigate the palace better than I could the South End. My tears have almost stopped before I feel the metal arc of the crescent moon still hanging around my neck and break apart again. I manage to reach an armchair, nestled in an alcove near a half-flight of stairs, and curl up in it as best I can to weather the storm.

I’m so ugly when I cry. Thank god no one can see it. No one ever should.

When the waves settle and my breath doesn’t feel so foreign in my lungs, I press my palms to my eyes and sigh heavily. I have a headache now, as I always do after I cry like that. I know I should be hungry, but I’m not. I don’t know what I am.

But I made a promise. To Nadia and to Julian. Even if I never see him again, I’ll help him as much as I can. And with all of his research, all the palace staff who knew both him and Lucio, all the magic echoes swirling around waiting for someone to hear them, I think I can help him a lot.

------

I was always more comfortable at night. I sleep a little bit, curled up in the armchair, but it’s not very comfortable and I wake up sore. I’m glad I came to the library, though: Julian’s desk is a mess of torn papers and marked-up books, underlines and strikethroughs and question marks in the margins, and I have so little time to piece it all together. If I hadn’t slept yesterday away… yesterday. I shouldn’t be thinking about yesterday. It was nothing. It is nothing.

He’ll be nothing if I can’t figure this out.

Portia brings me something to eat in the very early hours, right before dawn. Without saying a word, she draws up another chair and starts sorting through things too. She can read his handwriting much more easily than I can.

And Count Lucio’s name shows up. And again, and again. Lucio’s temperature rising. Lucio says wine tastes metallic. Alchemical fluid in Lucio’s prosthetic turned red, wouldn’t survive replacement. Observations in clipped clinical speech, but scrawled with ever-increasing desperation. Lucio spitting up blood. Lucio not sleeping, complaining of bad dreams. Lucio too weak to eat, still alive.

Notes on the dissection of a beetle, a cross-section of a human brain, a map of the palace with large red Xs over half the rooms in the east wing. Peeking over my shoulder, Portia points at them.

“That’s the Count’s Suite. He had the whole wing, actually. No one goes up there anymore.”

I straighten up, my joints crackling from the hours I've spent hunched over. “Why?”

She shrugs. “Nadia had the whole thing blocked off. It’s really dirty, from the— all the ash and stuff. And people say it’s haunted.”

“By Lucio?”

“I guess. One of the other housekeepers swears they saw the ghost of a weird guy at the top of the stairs once. That it looked right at them with spooky red eyes. I think they’re full of shit, but maybe it’s worth a look?”

There could be a thousand things worth a look. If I had more time… “I don’t know. I have a couple spells that might be able to pin down a ghost, but I’ve never actually tried them.”

“If it is Lucio, though, wouldn’t he be able to say who killed him?”

“Hm. That’s true. Is the wing locked?”

Portia grins and fishes in her pocket. “Not if you have keys.”

The main staircase is close to the library. I feel the air get colder as we approach, and the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck start to stand up even before Portia unlocks the corridor that leads to Lucio’s bedroom. It’s eerily quiet, all gray and black, luxury gone to ruin in the wake of a disaster. I’ve seen reproductions of burned-out buildings that look like this, after heavy battles. It crosses my mind that destruction of that caliber had taken extremely powerful magic to accomplish, not the actions of a single man weakened by pressure and long hours in the midst of a plague. Julian can’t even do magic. He said as much during our long conversation at the Raven. I can’t imagine anything else that would do this much damage without bringing the entire palace down.

Interesting.

Cinders crunch underfoot. Charred paintings watch us pass. A primal fear creeps along just behind us, whispering then asking then screaming at us to flee. I can feel my heart in my throat and adrenaline in my blood, every sense heightened. Tattered curtains move at the corner of my eye: I’m terrified to look and even more terrified not to.

But I can tell without bringing magic to my hand that there’s nothing here. At least nothing that wants to make itself known. There’s just a spark of pure rage somewhere deep inside the wing, but it doesn’t want to be seen. No ghosts, no goats, no ghost goats. No spooky red eyes. Just soot and smoke stains and three years of neglect. The fear lurking in the back of my mind isn’t supernatural, just the normal human mistrust of the dark and abandoned.

We go all the way to the end of the suite to no avail. Part of me thinks I should stay, but I’m getting tired now and the idea of sleeping in these rooms isn’t appealing. Portia takes my sigh as an admission of defeat and pats my arm. It was a distant hope anyway.

Near the end of the corridor as we leave, a small glimmer catches my attention. If I hadn’t been looking that way to start with, I never would’ve noticed it.

“Hey Portia, what’s in there?”

She lifts up the lantern and peers into the room. “Bath chamber, I think.”

We see it at the same time, as the light catches the red gleam again: falling from the sink are drops of blood. More of it trickles across the floor. The walls are stained from it, up to the window.

“What the fuck?”

My sentiments exactly. What is this? It can’t be actual blood, can it? This is the top floor of the palace. Is it bubbling up through the plumbing?

“Nadia��s gonna want to know about this,” Portia says in a small voice.

“Wait. Let me check it out first.”

She turns to look at me, pale in the lantern’s glow. “This is way beyond whatever my brother might have done. It could infect the whole palace!”

“Do you think it’s infectious?”

Portia frowns. “Did you… Were you in Vesuvia back then? During the Plague?”

There’s no point in lying. “No.”

“Neither was I, but I heard about it. Before I left Nevivon, some sailors docked and told everyone what they’d seen. People died so quickly, there wasn’t space to keep their bodies. And they were all red, their eyes and their fingertips, everywhere you could see veins.” She shudders. “I can’t believe Ilya worked with it and… and…”

She must’ve been so scared, knowing that he could die any day.

“You know that big ugly crematorium out in the bay?” she asks.

“The Lazaret.” Everyone knows about that. You can see it from shore, a jagged silhouette reminding everyone of the toll the Plague took on the city. I don’t like looking at it: it makes my heart ache.

“Yeah. Even with that, there were too many bodies. So many people… There was a rumor that the Palace stored the extra ones, until they could be burned.”

“Where would they have been able to keep them?”

“Dunno. But there’s a huge tunnel system under here, all the way down into the cliffs. And the dungeon’s really big.”

I’d wondered how Julian could escape the prison cells, when the only way out was through the palace itself. Tunnels would explain that, I suppose. “So do you think there’s still something tainting the water?”

Her eyes are wide in the dark. “There might be. Kinda like here, no one’s been in the dungeons for ages. Probably since then.”

I frown. It’s unlikely, but I can’t deny the evidence right in front of me. I take another step into the washroom and trace the flow towards the wall. Some of the stones are loose now, after years of water damage. There’s more than enough room for it all to drain away between them.

Weak dawn sunlight floods the horizon as I stand up and glance out the window. I can see most of the city from here, out across the harbor to the Lazaret and down through the South End and directly into the lush gardens below.

And beyond the gardens, flowing from the palace along the channel of an aqueduct, is a stream of blood red.

------

Nadia scowls at the dripping red water, then summons her bodyguard to her side and dispatches them with a whispered order. Both Portia and I follow her out of the wing, but Portia splits off at the base of the stairs to see to her duties while Nadia invites me into the dining hall for breakfast.

A massive, gaudy painting hangs over the table, eyeing us as we pick over the array of egg dishes and sliced fruit. It depicts a celebration scene, I think, presided over by a muscular blond man with his arms spread wide over a crowd of adoring citizens. Nadia notices me looking at it and chuckles.

“Admiring my late husband’s art sense, are you, Reyja?”

I don’t want to offend her, but I think Count Lucio should’ve stuck to partying. “It’s, um, very vibrant.”

“That was typical of him,” she laughs. “Ostentatious to a fault.”

People don’t talk about Lucio much, unless they’re cursing his name for all the damage he did to the city with his warmongering and overspending. I’m trying to solve his murder, but now that I think of it, I don’t know much about the man himself. “What was he like?”

Nadia grimaces. “Much as you’ve heard, I expect. Loud, brash, insolent. Committed to his life of luxury. I would not have married him, had I been sober when he proposed.”

She must catch my surprise, because she fixes me in her dark eyes and raises a brow as if daring me to judge her.

Of course I won’t. “How did you two meet?”

“He was visiting Prakra,” she says. “To present himself to Empress Nasrin, my mother, as the Count of Vesuvia. He had been in power for some time by then, as I recall. I believe he told me that he’d first come to this city nearly twenty years before, on a mercenary contract.”

“He wasn’t from here?”

“No. He was of the Southern tribes.”

That’s confusing. “How did he get to be Count?”

“The former Count grew quite fond of him. Lucio was named his heir shortly after he arrived, and took the throne shortly after that. He spoke often of the battle in which he lost his arm—” She points at the painting. Lucio’s left arm shines, gilded in gold leaf. “—the same in which Spada was killed.”

Lucio may have been bloodthirsty, especially fond of the fights to the death at the coliseum Vesuvia used to be famous for, but everyone knew his roots as a successful mercenary. Even in his forties, when he died, he was strong and virile.

Which was why his death came as such a shock. Who would’ve thought such a man would die in his bed, ravished by sickness and weak enough to fall to an unskilled assassin?

“What about the Plague?” I ask quietly. People talk about Lucio a little bit, but no one discusses the Plague at all, as if the mere mention of it will cause its return.

Nadia nods. “It appeared nearly overnight, five years ago. No one had seen its like before. To my knowledge, nothing like it has been seen since, either.”

“Do we know where it came from?”

“I’m afraid not. Little is known of it, save that it killed thirty thousand of my people in two years.”

Her people. Nadia may have been Prakran by birth, but this was her city now.

“I had been visiting my sisters when it struck,” Nadia continues, gaze unfocused as she looks back through her memories. “As such, I was forbidden from returning until we were certain it had passed.”

I remember the parade that welcomed her back, but I didn’t realize she’d been gone that long. It’s been less than a year: she must be so busy, trying to pull Vesuvia together again. No wonder the search for her husband’s murderer hadn’t been her top priority until now. “I’m sorry.”

She tilts her head, looking at me. “Understand this, Reyja: if the Plague has not truly left the city, and what you and dear Portia discovered today is proof of that, then the search for Doctor Devorak must be set aside. I am eager to see justice done, but one man’s life, when weighed against the lives of thousands, will not tip the scales. I hope I may rely upon your services regardless of that outcome.”

Her visit to the shop feels very far away. I’m attached to this now, however big it gets. “I’ll be here.”

“Thank you. I have sent Yazakh to fetch an expert on the Plague from their estate. I hope they will return soon, but in the meantime, I urge you to rest. We may have much to consider in the coming days.”

I take a small pastry with me when I leave the table and make my way back to my room. I don’t doubt that she’s right, but even with this additional set of problems, I can’t keep my mind away from Julian. Thoughts of him cloud my head as I lay down for a nap and they’re still there when I wake up. My stomach isn’t happy with me, swirling with guilt and humiliation and anxiety, but I don’t know what to do about it.

The expert still hasn’t arrived when I go up to Lucio’s suite to check. I pass the library on the way back and my fingers fly to the silver moon pendant still around my neck, following the divot Julian’s own nerves wore in the metal. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look through his notes while I wait, if I can concentrate enough to get anything useful out of them.

I can’t.

When the sun sets again, I give up. Another day gone, and I’ve only discovered more things to do. I need something to focus on, something with a solution, something… something that might distract me from the fact that I’m no closer to clearing Julian’s name.

I can follow that water, if nothing else. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but maybe I can learn where it’s going. And I can get out of the palace, maybe work off some of this nervous energy. And I won’t be surrounded by pieces of him, distracting me from my mission. It’ll be perfect.

---------------

prev || next

#the arcana #the arcana fanfic #reyja north #julian devorak #moth & raven

3 notes · View notes

thetaylorfiles · 4 years

Note

Republican anon here. I love politics so happy to come back. Let me preface with my problem with democrats is they live in the twitterverse, which is one heavily censorshiped and two not really used by as many people they think, (I think there is even a study that shows 80% of the activity is by 20% of the users). They make their decisions by the radical left that live there and think thats a populas thought. 4 weeks ago if you had asked me who I was voting for I would have said Biden. Unfortunately if I had to walk into today, I would vote for Trump. Its not a vote for him its a vote for the constitution. I don't see Biden as strong enough to fight off Sanders, AOC and Pelosi and also think we all know it's gonna be President Harris. So I cant vote for his tax hikes, packing the court, eliminating the electoral, adding seats and the green new deal. I didnt realize what a flawed candidate he was until I really looked into his 47 years in politics, and both him and Harris just come off of as liars. I'm waiting for something to change my mind in the next week but honestly I dont know what it could be because he has been caught in so many lies I can't believe him. Also everything with Hunter scares me because he clearly owes someone something (and clearly its China). I cant have a President willing to sell out our interests if his son becomes compromised. My biggest group of friends are basically like me liberal conservatives and conservative liberals and we all sort of feel the same. Thats probably why one of the biggest google trends is "can I change my vote". I also think you cant not acknowledge the huge gains Trump has made with the hispanic and conservative black votes. I think this year we are looking at another redo of Regan 1984. Either way whatever happens happens and I will just deal with it and hope Pelosi doesnt 25th amend him. Although to wrap up this ramble the twitter thing I memtioned is the same as the original tumblr point I made. No one in politics cares about people shipping in Tumblr or the trending topics on Twitter. So again I just find it funny they dont know enough about it, but think they know everything about it.

Hopefully that makes sense... Also hope I didn't disappoint you on my voting answer. It's really a tough decision this go around.

I don’t want to get into this too much because I don’t think it’s ideal to discuss politics online. It’s much better done in person because you need tone of voice and humanity. For me, anyway.

And while I get what you don’t want (and believe me, I am not as far liberal as the ones you fear taking over. And I also strongly disagree with the fact that they will take over), I think that to be able to gloss over what an abhorrent and unintelligent man Trump is is to truly do a disservice to our country.

And I when I say this, please know that I’ve never been a supporter of Republican presidents as I didn’t love their policies and such, but I sure as hell respected them. And I sure as hell admired them. And I thought them all to be genuinely great men. People who I believed to have the country’s best interest at heart and any persons best interest at heart. I trusted them, and their leadership, even when I didn’t agree with the decisions they made (some not all).

For as far back as I can remember, I have respected each Republican President. Trump is an absolute game changer. His character and lack of empathy and care and honestly, intelligence, plus the fact that the man is incapable of lying every second sentence, is something that I feel like should supersede any “voting for the constitution”.

Biden? At least we know he’s a good man. Both sides of the aisle - everyone has said that the one thing they can say about Biden is he’s a truly good man. And I long for a genuinely good person in office. Because we don’t have one now.

What you think is going on with Biden’s son should t matter for two reasons: one - most of it is unsubstantiated and two - no one cared about what the presidents children or siblings or family was doing before Trump brought his whole damn family on board into the White House. If you want to talk corrupt? Having something on them? Let’s look to the Trump family. If it doesn’t bother you there, why would Hunter bother you?

Those are rhetorical questions. I really don’t want to get into this. I am happy that it seems to be that the polls are showing a good lead in favor of Biden. Is he ideal? Of course not. But he’s moderate compared to the liberals out there ans I personally think he’ll do a good job of keeping it that way. I am liberal and I think my side has gone too damn far left. Biden isn’t perfect, Biden isn’t amazing, Biden isn’t going to make America a superpower. But he’s genuinely a deeply good man who knows his way around politics and respect and is liked by both sides of the aisle. All we need right now is some good leadership to get us out of this shitshow that is Covid. We need a president who doesn’t lie to us about it. Who doesn’t send us mixed signals. Who listens to scientists. Who gets us to where the other countries are who have beaten this thing down better than we have.

We are an embarrassment around the world. We never were before Trump. And now we are. People pity us and laugh at us. Thanks to Trump. I’m so tired of being a laughingstock.

I hope you reconsider. I hope the scare tactics don’t get you. I genuinely believe Biden will not step down so that we will have a Harris presidency. I genuinely believe he will be moderate and work to keep things the least devisive as possible. Please vote for a man who doesn’t call people names. It’s like, the number one thing you teach children: don’t be mean. Don’t call names. Don’t hurt feelings. Let’s strive to be better than that. Let’s have a President that doesn’t call anyone and everyone he doesn’t like a mean name and who also doesn’t lie constantly. (I know politicians all lie to an extent, but no one can argue that Trumps grandiose sense of self causes massive lies to erupt every time he speaks).

I beg of you to reconsider.

Thanks for having this discourse with me.

Ans btw, agreed about Twitter. It’s a cesspool of the worst of the left in an echo chamber. Trust me. I can see the worst of my side!

5 notes · View notes

letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 4 years

Note

Okay, if it's too much, don't answer that's fine. I'm not American and I've read so many different things about the political stuff that's going down over there, some saying Biden is the same as Trump, some say he's even better than Bernie. I got not clue how to sort that Joe Biden guy, sooo... Could you help us non Americans out a little? So far it's just looking like everyone is standing around a dumpster fire, shouting stuff that's not really comprehensible

Jesus Christ this was something to wake up to this morning. I’m gonna be honest, it’s not my job to educate you or anyone else on this matter, you’re all adults (supposedly, I’m doubtful about a lot of you) and Google exists. But I also understand that it can be intimidating to dive into the wide world of the internet and it feels easier to ask someone you trust or feel that you know, so I’ll do my best to be concise and explain.

Everyone is standing around a dumpster fire shouting stuff that’s not comprehensible because people, my darling, are idiots.

“No, Mads, people aren’t idiots!” A person is not an idiot. But people are. Put us in a group and we’ll happily self destruct in the most spectacular fashion possible.

Biden is nowhere near the same as Trump, people just live in an echo chamber and refuse to look at the facts. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how awful Trump is. It baffles me that people are saying Biden, who happily supported Barack Obama and played second fiddle to him for eight years, is the same as the man who’s putting children in cages.

Here is a breakdown of Biden’s policy plans should he be elected. Very different from Trump’s, as you can see. To quote this post here:

“It's important to be critical of political figures, especially during a primary election. Joe Biden has been in politics for a very long time, and his record is by no means spotless. There's lots to criticize, politically and personally. But having Biden in the big chair instead of Trump changes the entire game.

Look at it this way: if Joe Biden wins, a democratic Congress gets a clear path to passing real, lasting progressive laws. If Joe Biden wins, Ruth Bader Ginsburg gets to retire, and be replaced by a young firebrand who will make Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh's lives a living hell for the next 40 years. If Joe Biden wins, all of the horrible executive orders Trump has enacted are gone, on day one: family seperation, abortion bans in VA hospitals, EPA funding gutted, global warming denial in NOAA, removal of LGBT+ protections, all GONE in January 2021. If Joe Biden wins, all the Trump shills in the government disappear: I'm talking about new people in the CPB, the Justice Department, the FTC, and everything other federal agency. With Biden instead of Trump, we're going to be fighting for Medicare for All vs. Obamacare, instead of Keeping Obamacare vs. Stripping Away Any Kind of Federal Insurance. We're going to be fighting for the Green New Deal vs. Having a Functional EPA, instead of Gutting The EPA or Having No EPA At All. The fight is way different, and we get to pull the conversation further left - where it belongs.

This election is just as much about getting rid of the Republican stench in the Oval Office as it is electing a particular person. So yeah, be critical of Joe Biden, but please don't lose sight of what President Joe Biden would actually look like versus President Trump.”

People seem to be forgetting that when you vote for president, you are, supposedly, not voting for One Supreme Leader Who Makes All The Decisions Ever. Putting Biden in the Oval Office is more about putting in a man who will pass the laws that a liberal, democratic Congress will put in front of him. A man who will actually listen to his advisors. It’s about putting in someone who won’t appoint a bunch of judges that will screw over everyone for the next, oh, three decades.

I don’t want Biden in office. I wanted Elizabeth Warren, for fuck’s sake. Whose policies were the same as Bernie’s, by the way, for all you bros out there who say you aren’t sexist. The last thing I want is another old white man, for the love of whatever you worship. But the idea that someone who supported and worked under someone like Obama is somehow the same as a Neo-fascist egomaniac is... ridiculous. It’s truly ridiculous. Not that Obama was perfect, far from it, but under his presidency we were making progress on things and my God, I wasn’t scared for the lives of just about everyone I know.

As for Biden versus Sanders, the argument that Biden is better stems from the fact that while Sanders has helped move the party left with his presidential campaigns and he makes pretty speeches, he hasn’t actually done anything in all his time serving as an elected public official. If you actually go and look at his track record, he hasn’t passed many laws or helped enact a whole lot of others. Everyone’s making a big deal about how he “saved millions of lives” with his big speech but actually, sorry kids, politics are not Hollywood and you don’t save the day by making a speech and miraculously everyone votes on something. Senator Michael Bennet of Colorado and Schumer actually talked to people, convinced them on it, and got the votes that secured the unemployment bill being passed, and that’s what saved lives, not someone yelling (no matter how passionate or eloquent their yelling is).

It’s great to yell about how the system is corrupt etc but you have to actually follow those words with actions, and Sanders, historically, is not good about compromising, working with others, reaching out to others, being on a team. And that’s exactly what you need to be able to do in politics to get anything done. There’s an episode of Leverage called “The Gimme a K Job,” where Sophie spends the entire time running back and forth between politicians getting them to compromise and quid pro quo for one another so she can get them to vote on a law. I recommend watching it. The situation is played for laughs, but it’s also brutally honest. You cannot get anything done in politics (or in a lot of things in life) if you aren’t willing to work together and bargain and give some to get some, and Sanders isn’t, and that’s not good.

Now, Sanders has done a lot in his presidential campaign to move the Dem party left and he’s really stirred up younger voters, and those are both good things. If you look at Biden’s policies in the post I linked, you’ll see a lot of them are more liberal than most people expected, and that’s probably because Biden and his team saw everyone supporting Sanders’ policies and went, “oh, okay, this is what the people want.” Which already shows that Biden is willing to listen to the people more than Trump and his party are.

And then there’s the more personal side of things. Sanders really left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth because some of his supporters were so extreme in their support of him, to the point of acting like he’s the only person who could possibly save us, when honestly that’s not how democracy (or socialism, frankly) works. The whole idea is that all of us, working together as a movement, are what makes change. The people all standing up together and demanding that lawmakers do this, that, and the other thing. Sanders extremists, known as “Bernie Bros,” acting like Sanders is their One True Savior has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. In my experience, people don’t like being shouted at and told they’re idiots. And in my experience, one single person isn’t going to save you. And nobody’s perfect so furthermore acting like someone is perfect is only going to annoy everyone else around you and set you up for disappointment down the line.

There are a lot of people out there feeling attacked by Sanders supporters, and so frankly, they’re glad to see the back of him and throw support behind Biden, because they’re just sick of dealing with his extremist followers.

If you want to tear the system down completely then gold star to you, but the fact is otherwise you have to work within the system to change it. And I don’t see any of these people yelling on the internet actually doing the work to organize a revolution. It’s fun to yell about your opinions, it helps you feel better, it helps you feel powerful and heard. But the real work is done in volunteering, in protesting, in running for local offices, in doing research and then voting for your mayor, your governor, your senator, your state representative. Those people, as the COVID-19 epidemic is proving, actually often have more direct power to help or harm you than the President does.

People have more power than they think, but they’re just refusing to use it, and they’re refusing to think critically and to do research on the policies of candidates. I’ve seen people calling Biden a “serial rapist,” for crying out loud, which, whether he assaulted a woman or not, is not true. That’s like if I killed one person and suddenly everyone was calling me a mass murderer. People like to exaggerate, to bloviate, and to think in black and white. It’s disappointing, but true.

One final thought, for both you and actual Americans: look at how non-Americans are viewing the United States election. We are not the center of the universe (although we like to pretend we are) but we do have a huge impact on the global stage, and other countries are begging us to elect someone other than Trump. You want to claim we’re not the stereotype of the selfish, self-centered American? Than put your money where your mouth is and look at the non-Americans who are asking us to please, please, please elect someone else. Do it for them, if nothing else. The world is bigger than just us.

Biden isn’t perfect. One could argue one way or another on the Sanders v. Biden debate. It really depends on your personal opinion. But when it comes to Trump v. Biden, it really shouldn’t be rocket science. One of them has allowed racism, sexism, and xenophobia to thrive. He’s literally responsible for thousands of deaths (and counting) through his mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic. He’s backed us out of the planet-saving environmental agreement that everyone else agreed to. He’s enabled corrupt, selfish politicians to have their way. He would appoint judges that will strike down everything from refugees to abortion rights. He’s destroyed our international relations, nearly started a war, and I actually don’t think he knows how to read.

And his name’s Trump.

That’s the difference.

#lincoln answers things #politics #this is the one and only time I am explaining this #all other questions will simply get a link to this post #yokoo-chan98

18 notes · View notes

rhythmbastard · 7 years

Text

STATE OF THE BASTARD 2018- I'M 30 NOW!

STATE OF THE BASTARD 2018 HOLY SHIT I'M 30 (artwork by Talez01) 1. 2017 was a goddamn clusterfuck. The rich got richer, the poor have less footholds to climb out of, and a bunch of my fellow white dudes decided that they'd support fascism so they'd no longer have to be inconvenienced with things like "acknowledging other people exist". And on top of that, I'm 30 now. For some reason, that number makes me feel like I've missed out on SO MANY opportunities. I waver back and forth between "I'm too old for this shit, get real, stop dreaming" and "There are plenty of other people within my niche finding a way to make it happen regardless." I'm always left with a feeling that I could be doing better. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my life, and the possibility for autism, which for a while have made it really difficult for me to be out socializing. Ever since I've moved down to Florida, I've been able to join the Magic, convention and nerdcore communities, just feel more comfortable just TALKING to people. I know it sounds odd, but in its own way, I AM doing better. Also some of those white dudes faces some measure of comeuppance: <iframe width="400" height="300" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JZj9rvnVd6U" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> 2. Also, hey I do music! MOST RECENT SONG: "Unstable"

This was a fun one to do! I managed to get Tweakbench's Triforce while it was free, and every time I use it, I learn something new. Also I managed to get like 5 people to pretend to be attacked by squirrels, so you know, win for me. FAVORITE SONG I MADE: "Fire In The Hole"

My first Overwatch song! Also my first song I did an N64 Remix for. It would have been featured on League of Heels's PAXAMANIA III, but sadly they had audio issues. It was featured in the Official PAXAMANIA III video, and was played a shitton during The Great Australian Bash. Appropriate, since it was inspired by an Australian video game character.

3. OTHER COOL SHIT I DID Music For Suplex Saga

youtube

This was fun to do! I caught them at the right time, and while the Kickstarter failed, they're still dedicated to the project, so hopefully you can see all of that come to fruition soon. Patreon Honestly, this has been the best motivation for making new music. People line up to listen to your music, and because of that I want to do nice things for you all! 3000 Brigade Last but not least, the 3000 Brigade, an insane show that was incredible to see come together and 100% worth it to put on. I can only hope I'm around for next year's show! 3. 29 YEAR OLD RESOLUTIONS? DID MAKE THEM? -More collabs. Sort of? I've been working with more people for gang vocals and stuff, but nothing TOO deep. Roborob helped with the bassline for Unstable, but that's about it. -Album #3. Not quite finish it, but have an idea of where it's going. I do have three "album" projects lined up: 1. A "Best Of/Road Mix/Introduction To" album I can sell at cons. -A proper music video. With like a crew and shit. ha ha nope. I became unemployed halfway through the year. -Another game. Maybe it's part of a bigger project, maybe it's another game jam. WHO KNOWS? Yes! It's called Coastal Chomper! And I did it with Trace Evans aka Pseg on the internets! I also was part of a video game show "Arcade Pit" with him, and we got our asses kicked...

youtube

-500+ Fans on Facebook. Yes! And 25 more! 4. 30 YEAR OLD RESOLUTIONS! 1. To participate in a League Of Heels Event. 2. Put one of my Album Projects 3. Hit my first donation goal in Patreon 4. Get on something outside an album. Work on a game, VO work, etc 5. PODCAST STUFF! ECHO CHAMBER- Music, video games, and More? I'D RATHER NOT- Bad decisions and how we make them! 5. OK NOW GO OUTSIDE THE BOX GAME OF THE YEAR-The Metronomicon In The Woods 7: Biohazard We're doing an Echo Chamber episode on this! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE AWARD?- A Link To The Past Finally beat it this year. If your game is well designed enough that randomizing it can be not only possible, but another puzzle in and of itself, you did good. Been waiting TOO long on this SNES classic. BEST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR- Get Out It is the epitome of "fridge brilliance": everything in this movie is so tight and deliberate, and any question I do have is presented with an answer. The best horror isn't to MAKE some scary. It's to take something we're afraid of and make it tangible. TOP 40 SONG I HATED THE LEAST- "Feel It Still" by Portugal. The Man.

youtube

"Hard Times" by Paramore would have been number one with a bullet but it didn't crack the Billboard Hits. Truth be told, I don't even like this song that much. It's got a good vibe to it, and is technically rock. TREND I LIKED THE LEAST- "Coddling Bigotry" as an occupation. Remember kids, you don't need to consider other people AT ALL! You're not being racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic! It's the marginalized groups you're picking on should have thicker skin! Also, guys wearing Kekistan Flags at cons, which are modeled after Nazi Battle Flags. TREND I LIKED THE MOST- Assholes getting what's coming to them. See above. OK THAT WAS KIND OF A DOWNER, HERE'S SOMETHING FUN, AKA MY REAL FAVORITE SONG OF 2017.

youtube

ANNUAL STUPID REMINDER THAT I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH MC BAT COMMANDER via Blogger http://ift.tt/2muiT0e

#3000 brigade #magic the gathering #music #overwatch #paramore #patreon #paxamania #state of the bast

0 notes