#man i miss when i used to actually read a whole bunch in middle school...

[a-hundred-jewels]

ptsd made me a hardcore marauders fan for seven months

Ao3

content warning: the following contains discussions of school violence, teen violence, (briefly) domestic violence, mental health issues, depression, and trauma. if any of these are sensitive topics for you, please proceed with caution. in addition, if you feel i've missed a warning, please nicely let me know in the comments.

I don't like Harry Potter. 

Sure, I binge-read the entire series in a bored, undiagnosed-ADHD-induced haze at the age of thirteen, have spent countless hours reading and even writing fanfiction for the series, have followed tumblr tags, listened to playlists, watched youtube videos, and am in the process of very slowly hand-binding myself a copy of A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety, but—

I don't like it, but nevertheless, I was sucked in. 

~

"Some kid overdosed," one of my classmates said. 

"What?" 

"They're clearing the hallways."

Our principal had just come on the loudspeakers to issue a "shelter in place" order, telling us to ignore all bells and stay in our current classroom until he came back on and told us otherwise. I was actually glad, hoping the extra time would allow me to finish my Spanish homework before second period, since I'd spent most of the weekend thinking about the Strictly Come Dancing finals and my King Lear presentation in English class. 

I hardly thought about the order itself—they're extremely common in United State schools, both as drills and as actual occurences. "Shelter in place" originated as a milder verison of going into lockdown where, instead of hiding from a potential shooter, students and teachers must simply not leave the room. In any case, I saw no reason to worry, and set about doing my homework. 

~

In fall of 2022, I started my senior year of high school at the age of seventeen. I was having a rough year—my younger sister's depression was at an all-time high and my mother was recovering from a health scare—but, fandomwise, I was doing great. After all, Our Flag Means Death had come out that spring and I was in love. All I wanted to talk about were the gay pirates, and I even bought myself a "Team Edward" t-shirt with Taika Waititi's face smack in the middle as a "back to school" present. Everything was supposed to get better. 

School sucked, because I went to a big public high school that looked like a prison and had equally-shitty Wifi, my (still undiagnosed) ADHD was worsening, and my grades were getting kind of bad. Even so, for a couple of months, I remained confident that my senior year would be my best one yet.

~

Third period was gym class, meaning I was only about an hour and a half away from the King Lear presentation. Senior year was actually one of the few years where I liked gym, which was awesome. It was just me and six boys, all of whom were nice to me, and our teacher was great. I think we were playing badminton that day, when our principal came on the loudspeakers to say that we were, once again, under a "shelter in place" order. 

We were nonchalant about this, just as we had been in the morning. I cannot stress how desensitized children in the U.S. are to things like this, these days. When my little sister was in elementary school, there was a day when the whole school was put in a "shelter in place" because a man was walking around outside with a bunch of knives. When I was a junior, a boy severely beat up his girlfriend in the school hallway, giving her a concussion and leading to two mass protests. There were violent fights at my town's public schools almost weekly—and all of this is very, very normal. I would go so far as to say that my situation was pretty mild. 

So we sat on the floor and did homework as time crept on, wondering vaguely what was going on, but no moreso than that. Third period ended, and we stayed. It should have been lunch time—we were getting hungry—but there was still no word about the lockdown ending. We stayed. Surely, it could only be another ten minutes or so?

And then, one of my classmates looked up from his phone screen, which was displaying a chat on Discord. 

"Oh my god—someone was stabbed."

~

Before, I get properly started, I'd like to be totally clear: the point of this essay isn't to bash the Harry Potter fandom, not as a whole, and certainly not the sections of it I've been in. I met some incredible people while in my period of rabidly consuming Marauders content, and I don't want to put them down or dishonor the beautiful things they've created with my attitude. I loved my time in the Marauders fandom as much as I could love anything at that point in my life and have nothing but respect for the writers, artists, and tumblrinas who welcomed me into their space. 

All of that being said, I think it's fascinating that I fell into a fandom like this one, particularly when I was doing so badly mentally. My dislike of Harry Potter only increases as I grow, as does my indifference, and, while I understand that's a fairly common sentiment shared among Marauders fans, I also get the impression that nostalgia plays a big part in their participation in the fandom. A Harry Potter- loving, bookworm child grows into a cynical teen, and then into a kind, brilliant adult with a "well, fuck it" attitude towards the world, using their limited free time to take that nostalgia from a childhood book series and write the kind of queer narratives they wish they'd had in adolescence. I could, of course, be wrong, but that's more-or-less how I understood the specific parts of the fandom I was in. (I know pretty much nothing about the tik tok side of the Marauders fandom, so we're just not factoring that in at all). Also, note that I said "adult" before, because the majority of people I interacted with were in their twenties and thirties. Being eighteen at the time and still in highschool, they all seemed at least moderately grown-up and untouchable to me. 

All this to say, once again, that I literally didn't care about Harry Potter until I was almost fourteen and, even then, I only started reading it out of sheer boredom. I have pretty much no nostalgia or happy childhood memories associated with the series—I even skipped large sections of the fourth and seventh books because it irritated me whenever the main characters were fighting with each other. I was, at best, a casual fan. 

There's something comforting, though, about being in such a big fandom, especially when your bad habit of choice is binge-reading smutty fanfiction in order to feel less dead. And, regardless of how I actually felt about Harry Potter , the concrete safety of a completed, unchanging series of books and movies where the author was already widely disliked definitely appealed tome and my less-than-stable life. You don't need to worry about a scandal if they've all already happened and, no matter how hard she tried to on Twitter, Joanne can't actually change the contents of the books. In my world of current fandoms and kind writers and actors all accessible on social media, the fuck-ass Harry Potter fandom was a bit of a refuge. 

So that's why I think it was specifically the Marauders that I got into.

~

I don't actually remember how long we were in that gym. It must have been at least two hours, including the class time beforehand, but I barely remember any of it. I texted my friends, frantically trying to determine that everyone I knew was okay, and I told my parents what was going on. To this day, the thing I am most thankful for is that my sister, who we'll call Tabitha, wasn't there. I don't know what I would have done if she'd been in school that day. The other main thing I remember thinking about was my King Lear presentation, which was supposed to happen right after lunch, and, as the time stretched on, I became more and more worried that I wouldn't get to do it that day. 

Shortly after my classmate saw the Discord messages about the stabbing, a video of the fight was leaked across Snapchat, as well as an image of the wound. We all looked on in horror, including my teacher (who we'll call Mr. Blake). It's objectively horrible to watch footage of a child being stabbed, no matter how grainy the video is, but, so far, we'd received no official information from the school, so this was literally all we had, and it had happened in the same building. Our principal wasn't allowed to make any statements (at least to my understanding) without it going through our superintendant and, for whatever reason, she didn't feel it necessary to get ahead of social media on this. 

I was trapped in a school with thousands of other people, one of whom had just assaulted someone. 

~

The night before my second semester of senior year began, I stayed up past midnight reading Dear Your Holiness by @mollymarymarie fleabag AU where Remus is a priest by day and a local rock musician by night, and Sirius has a popular music magazine. I had also spent much of my winter break listening to a podfic of All The Young Dudes (made it to sixth year) and generally rooting around people's bookmarks and gifts to get out of my head, so it's safe to say that, by the time I got to school in January, my brain was practially deep-fried in this new fandom, and it would only get moreso. 

~

Mr. Blake felt, after an hour or so, that we'd be safer in the boys' locker room. He brought us down through a stairwell I'd never seen before, tucked away in corner of a closet in the gymnasium. I was thrilled by the opportunity to explore and filmed the journey on my phone. It's a weird, haunting video, not just for the grim situation and shadowy rooms, but because I'm so lively behind the camera. We're all fairly upbeat, joking about how big the school is and what things must have been like when it opened. I won't share the video here, as I don't feel like doxing myself, but I did rewatch it in preparation for writing this and it's truly disconcerting to look at the inside of a building I haven't been in for over a year, to hear the voice of a past version of myself and know I'm seeing snapshots of a day that changed me forever. 

All there was to eat in the locker room were these Gatorade protein bars—mine was supposedly cookies and cream flavoured. I still remember the taste, sickly sweet and artificial. On an empty stomach, particularly an overly sensitive autistic one like mine, it was a horrible idea, and I felt sick afterwards, but god, I was so hungry. 

I sent a selfie to my parents and Tabitha, then tried to read fanfiction while listening to one of my classmates talk in what sounded like Hatian Creole with his family on the phone. Boys were constantly being paraded in to use the urinals. The walls were painted concrete blocks, the benches were narrow and hard, and so I sat there. 

~

In February, I spend a weekend binge-reading A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety, which kickstarted an obsession with seventies music and fashion. I read and reread the sex scenes during my final few months of highschool, trying desperately to shut my brain up and keep me from feeling so trapped in my daily life and the school I still attended. I got into the works of @spookymoonie, who was incredibly kind to me, and used to visit and refresh their blog every day to see if they'd (sigh) written more porn. Look, man, it was really good porn. 

On the day of my high school graduation, I got dressed in pants that were too small for me, a shirt that was too big, and a cap and gown that made me look like a walking body bag. I mingled with my friends beforehand, taking pictures with people who I now haven't spoken to in months. The ceremony was long and boring but I'm a sucker for that kind of symbolic stuff, so I kind of liked it. I did say for weeks afterwards, though, that I didn't feel like I'd really graduated until I was cycling home, listening to "Telephone Line" on my tinny iPhone speaker. That was my graduation. 

And I only knew that song from the official Black Mass playlist. 

~

By the time we were finally released from the "shelter in place" and sent for lunch, it had been about three hours since our principal's initial announcement back in third period. There was little fanfare to the whole ordeal, and I don't recall any actual information being given to our parents from the school at this point, either, though I could be misremembering. Our principal simply came on the speakers and told us that the lockdown was up and we were to go for lunch. I had a pre-packaged turkey wrap that day—my mum got them from the store sometimes as a special lunch for me. I'm a vegetarian these days, so I wouldn't eat it regardless, but, even if I weren't, I don't think I could bring myself to eat one of those wraps again, not without remembering. 

We'd only been in lunch for about ten minutes when somebody pulled the fire alarm. I don't know who did it, only that it was a student and there was no fire. I hate the fire alarm for the same reasons I hate all sudden, loud noises, and I was so overwhelmed already that I remember crying as we were paraded out into the parking lots, shivering in the cold, late-December air. I sat on a curb and ate my sandwich, wishing I had left when some of my classmates had, as soon as the "shelter in place" was lifted, or at least that I had my jacket and keys with me so I could get my bike and leave right then. 

The fire drill was over as quickly as it had started and, god, I wish I'd left right then. Just grabbed my shit and got the hell out of there. But, well…my English presentation. 

To anyone with rational mind capabilities, it would be incredibly obvious by now that said English presentation was absolutely not happening. A child had been stabbed, we'd all seen it on video and then been trapped for three hours— King Lear was far from a pressing concern. But I was traumatized and one of my groupmates was leaving the next day, so it felt like an emergency. So long as I was focused on my presentation and the soap opera-like melodrama of the play, I didn't have to think about what was happening around me. 

Anyway, we did nothing English related fourth period, instead sitting in a circle and letting our teacher talk us through how we were feeling. I'm very grateful to her for giving us the space she did to feel our fear and anger without judgement, and I will never forget her telling us that we were to use the teachers' bathrooms for the rest of the day, and if any administrators had a problem with it, they could take things up with her. It might not seem like much, but when the stabbing had occured in a student bathroom, it was really nice for someone to acknowledge that we might be scared. 

Another hour, or so, and the day was over. 

~

I also want to get ahead and make sure I'm not framing my leaving of the Marauders fandom as a particularly good thing, or a good time in my life. I was still depressed and unemployed and, even after I finally got a job in August, I managed to hit several more crushing lows before the end of 2023—I was just reading different fanfiction to cope. At the very least, though, I was reading fic for stuff I was actually a fan of, which is typically a good place to start. 

The feeling reminded me a bit of the one I used to get after I'd finished writing and posting a piece of puppet erotica—just this overwhelming sensation of "Wait, what was that?" It's like post-nut clarity, except clearly not. My time as a Marauders fan feels, in retrospect, like a bastardization, an appropriation. I was not a real fan because I didn't really care—I just needed something safe to numb my pain and confusion. That's why it feels so important to make sure I'm not trying to represent or bash the fandom in any way. It wouldn't be fair, because I wasn't really, genuinely a part of it. 

~

When I finally had cycled home and let myself in the back door, I only remember collapsing. My mum was in the living room and I just stood there, I think. All I really remember is this image of how I think I looked, as though my mind had floated out of my head and taken a photograph. My face is very pale and completely blank, my bag somewhere on the floor next to me, and I'm staring at nothing, the performance of being okay just…evaporating. I know my mum told me she'd been facetiming my grandparents and aunt throughout the day and they were worried as well. 

One thing I often forget about that day is that, barely an hour after coming home, I had a violin lesson over zoom. I assume it must have been a similar situation to the King Lear presentation, where I had to act as normal as possible in order to not completely freak out. I told myself that I couldn't cancel, because then I'd have to pay the fee, but, like. I'm pretty sure he would have made an exception. I remember telling him "oh, by the way, I'm a little out of it because someone got stabbed at school today," and seeing the utterly baffled look on his face. He offered to postpone, and I declined. I was not a very good student that day—I think I'd forgotten what we did in the lesson before the hour was even finished. 

I went downstairs afterward and told my mum everything—I think. Either that or I lay in bed. The next thing I remember is going to school the next day, because I was still clinging to that King Lear presentation. Or maybe it was just because I didn't know what to do with myself? No idea. The next night, I was feeling sick and tested positive for Covid. 

So that was nice. 

~

My high school was never the same after the stabbing. Rules got stricter, a mass of teachers quit or transfered, the classes graduated and moved on, and I truly think something died that day. No matter how bad things were beforehand, there was always this hope I felt—this optimism. Even if I'd been cynical for weeks, all it took to love that shitty old building was an orchestra concert or a school play. It was trash, but it was home. That love didn't come back. 

My love for the Marauders proved to be just as fleeting. I literally woke up one day last July with a craving for this Good Omens/Buzzfeed Unsolved crossover fanfiction (called video appeal by ravel_aorla) and that was the end of my phase. Poof! Avada Kadavra! 

I'm proud to say, though, that I'm doing much better now. I'm writing and editing this in my college dorm room, which I moved into just yesterday. I'm also very into My Chemical Romance now, and am able to share that interest (and a long furby) with one of my best friends, @vriska-serketboard. It's been a year and a half since my high school has darkened the door of my feet and I am worlds better for it. 

Call it instinct as a former GSA leader, but that's how I want to end this. It get's better. I got better, and you can too. 

Thank you.

[freesomebodybyluna]

In middle school I was a really big fan of the movie m*moirs of a g*isha and my mom’s friend had a copy of it so I used to watch it all the time when she used to leave me at his house while they were both at work. And I loved it sm that I bought the book around that time but a few years later I read on here, I believe, that m&neko iw*saki didn’t give the old white dude who wrote the book permission to include a lot of the things he did. So the summer of like ‘16 I finally got the opportunity to buy HER telling of her life on a trip and I read a little bit of it and then never picked it up again bc I’m stupid........

[omegasmileyface]

Of All the People - Ch. 9

journal time! written by @attackradish and me and @ectolemonades. art in chapter 1 by @/toasty-ghosti

whole fic summary: After a stupid dare puts Dash Baxter in the lab at Fentonworks during the middle of a ghost fight, he finds himself a little more spectral than usual. Apparently Danny Fenton’s gone through the same thing (someone has got to call OSHA on these guys eventually), and who could better help Dash than his hero? His lame, stubborn hero?

warnings: Nothing for this chapter! In others, existential crises, and Spectra.

words: 1645

AO3 link

first chapter

previous chapter

next chapter

===

Star stabbed at her chow mein from her place on Paulina's couch. Her mind was racing trying to sort everything in her life. Between Dash's ghost situation, the hectic state of student council (you can't find funding for two new school dances in one year. You just can't do it!), and a tricky new Government paper, she felt like she couldn't afford to give all her attention to her friends.

"Oh my God."

Well, alright, she could always spare some attention for Paulina.

"What is it, Lina?"

"Dash has been spending an awful lot of time with Fenton recently."

"Huh." Kwan set down his broccoli beef and slowly leaned into the couch. "I guess it's probably a ghost thing. Like, Fenton's got access to a bunch of portals and weapons and stuff. Or at least he did when we went up against those pirate ghosts. How do you think Dash is keeping his secret from the guy?"

"It's more than that. Dash is fully putting up with Fenton. Even though it looks to me like Fenton isn't enjoying it much. If he needed equipment, wouldn't he just go to the guy's sister? She's actually tolerable."

Huh. She had a point. 

Kwan shrugged. "Well, she is really smart. I bet he's worried she'd figure out that he's a ghost."

"Hold on. That might be it, but I think Lina's on to something." She was clearly going somewhere with this, and Star wanted to know where. "I feel like Dash has been following him around like a puppy. Almost like… he's started, like, admiring him, or something."

Kwan's eyes brightened in understanding. "Hey, if Dash has been getting help from Phantom sometimes, do you think maybe they're sharing resources? Say, if Phantom had any help getting into tough places and getting his hands on equipment, I bet Dash knows about it too."

Star liked how this was coming together. "Gosh, guys, have you ever noticed how Fenton seems to leave and take that thermos with him whenever there's a ghost? And that time that we were all over at his house, he certainly knew how to hand out weapons and get us using them."

Kwan smiled back at her, just as satisfied with a mystery solved.

"Wasn't it weird," added Paulina, "when Dash said Phantom had experience with half-ghosts?"

Oh.

Oh.

'Oh my God' indeed.

Well… Star could work with this.

===

Kwan 7:38 PM hey man sorry u missed hanging tonight

Kwan 7:38 PM: dont really want to have this conversation over text but i get why u missed

Kwan 7:39 PM: paulina has this theory that the nerd ure hanging out with is Celebrity Ghost Watch

You 7:39 PM: what hes not

Kwan 7:39 PM: whatever man

You 7:39 PM: shut up

You 7:40 PM: you cant tell ANYBODY!!! u guys super were not suposed 2 find out

Kwan 7:40 PM: yeah i get it i read spider man

Kwan 7:40 PM: we would never do that to him or u

Kwan 7:40 PM: dont worry

You 7:40 PM: thanks.

===

"Hey, Fenton."

"Star. What's up?"

"I know you're Phantom."

"What?"

===

"And it's just them?"

"Looks like it. Paulina and Star swore themselves to secrecy.  Kwan did some kind of intricate bro handshake with me that ended in a pinky promise. Dash wasn't even there."

"I wouldn't trust a word out of their mouths."

"I don't know, Sam. I, for one, think we could use this to our advantage."

"Of course you would, geek."

===

"I'm so fucking sorry my friends found out about your thing!"

"Don't call it that."

"I swear I didn't tell them."

"I know. They already told me. I'm still trusting you to keep them in line, though, alright?"

"Of course! I'll try not to let them bug you too much either."

"Good luck."

===

"What's up with the sudden interest in ghost culture?"

"Well, really, Danny, it's such a fascinating topic. But there wasn't really anyone we could ask about it before we knew you were, you know, not a massive loser!"

"Thanks. My reputation is saved. Hallelujah."

"So? You've got to have something you can give us a lesson on."

"Fine. Get prepared to dive right in, though."

===

"Specter Speeder is ready. Everybody got your bags secured?"

"This is going to be a fun new form of Hell."

"Don't I know it, chica."

===

November 19

I didnt realize how long its been since I journaled. Shit's just been so hectic lately I kinda forgot to be honest haha. Well for one thing my friends know about Dannys secret now. Paulina just sorta put it together. Shes always been good at problem solving and that kind of stuff, apparently I've been hanging out with him way more now and that was enough to make a conection? When Danny found out he insisted his friends and him get to talk to them to make sure they don't rat him out to the G I W or whatever but honestly it looks like their getting along pretty good after that. My friends wanted to see more stuff about how ghosts live(?) so we got to go on a trip Danny and his friends wanted to take me on some time anyway. It was Ok so apparently when Danny got ice powers he had to figure out how to use them and also not freeze to death (am I gonna get ice powers?? is he gonna have to teach me? or would I learn straight from these guys) and when he did that, it was these like sasquach guys who had to train him for a bit. So now their like buddies. They live in an ice tribe called the Far frozen and that's where we went today. That's in the ghost zone!!

It was really scary worrying tbh. The ghost zone is super not designed for humans to be in it so it was kinda like we where going to space or something. Aparently people can breathe and stuff but their organs will get all fucked up from the weird gravity and radiation if theyre out there for too long. Danny said I'd be fine though. So anyway we had to wait untill the fentons weren't home, and Dannys' friends got this spaceship car thing out and told us a bunch of safety prep like we were going on a roller coaster. Do they really think we were just gonna fuck around and put ourselves in danger in a new dimension? It was like listening through the instructions before the C A T. ugh. But it was cool becuz after that we got to go into the ghost zone! The portal kinda sucked to go through, it reminded me of when I the bazooka. But when we got in it was super cool, it was like you could taste the air without opening your mouth… it was like when you drink an energy drink to stay awake and it actually works and doesn't feel like shit.

When we were driving there was all these doors and islands and stuff just floating everywhere. Danny started talking about it, and there was so much cool stuff I didn't know about ghosts!! The doors usually go to ghost's lairs which are like there personal homes (do I have a lair or is it just my house? I should ask Danny what his lair is) but sometimes they just go to diffrent time periods and places in the normal world?? There was this sick ass island that had a giant skull on it. Some Junglanji shit. But Danny said we couldn't get close cuz the island belonged to that Skulker guy. I don't see what the issue is when I've seen Phantom take him down so much before but there was too much other cool stuff to put up a fight. One time it looked like we were gonna run into a school of fish, but they were little green blob ghosts. I've seen those in town a couple times but theyre never in swarms like that back home! Blob ghosts are SO CUTE. Maybe I can have one as a pet some day.

So when we got to the Far frozen it was cold as hell. What a surprise huh? The whole place was just this massive plain of snow. It was like those pictures of Canada. But as soon as we got off the ship, the main chief guy Frost bite greeted us. He was this yeti sasquatch polar bear thing and he was HUGE but once my friends were done being scared he shook our hands and offered to carry us and oh my god he was so soft. Also his arm was like made of ice and it had bones showing thru it, which is just wicked. He took us into the town, and they had igloos and furs and stuff like those Alaskan tribes but there was also electronics and stuff? I didn't even think ghosts had towns let alone made tech. Everybody was super nice and they had all this great art made out of ice. I get that they have ice powers but oh my god?? Oh yeah and everybody kept calling Danny great one like he was the guy in one of those midevil romance flicks. I don't think he wanted them too but when we asked why, Frost bite told us he saved everybody from that viking dude who put the town in the ghost zone freshman year. God I didn't even think about how it was Danny who did that.

Yeah. We got to eat some of their food when we knew it was human safe and then we went home. I could sleep for a day but it was sooo cool. (Heh that was kind of a pun)

[rinzis]

what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Night: Spider-Man Homecoming

It's probably no shock to anyone who has followed my blog long enough for me to say that I love this film.

I think for any of us who, in general, enjoy these fun yet ridiculous superhero films has a few favorites, and Spider-Man has always been one of mine. While I loved when he was brought into Civil War, I had been skeptical when they announced they were doing another movie. Did the world need another Spider-Man franchise attempt?

Why yes - yes it did.

No, I don't think this is the best film ever made. It's not even the best Marvel film. But there's something light and enjoyable about it - something that allows me to get comfy on the couch and just enjoy the entertainment for two hours. Sometimes films, characters, stories just connect to a person - and this is one of those films for me.

I adore Tom Holland's Spider-Man. I adore his Peter Parker. He plays the part with just the right amount of awkwardness and eagerness; of youth and wit and dorky charm. With a character as beloved as this, you're always going to have people prefer one aspect or another, but for me (as someone who, yes, actually has read the comics) Holland's portrayal brings out the aspects of the character that I personal enjoy.

And even though I feel like people miss the point due to all the MCU trappings - it is just a film about a kid who happens to have superpowers. It kind of explores and celebrates the fun of being Spider-Man - and maybe all of this works better for people now since we'll eventually be getting the angst ridden origin story a bunch more movies down the line.

I love that the film's first third is mostly just high school-ish hijinx. The cast is fantastic - I love Jacob Batalon as Peter's Guy in the Chair/Bff Ned. Zendaya may not have a huge part in the film, nor is her MJ anything like her comic book counterpart, but man her edgy mysteriousness is so much more interesting Kirsten Dunst's bland and boring MJ. The rest of the kids, too, including Laura Harrier's popular girl Liz, feel like actual kids. And it's nice to have an inner city school be diverse and not full of the same looking white people.

Also, while I don't have much to say about her - I do like Marisa Tomei as Aunt May. It does make more sense for Peter to have an aunt who is closer to middle aged than downright old. And I'm glad she was characterized as someone who is fun while still being an adult. Even if we don't see much of her - the dynamic between her and Peter really works.

Meanwhile, I'm one of those people who actually enjoys the fact that it's all tied up in the MCU. I like that this film shows that there are actual consequences to the events that happen in the MCU. I like that focuses not on space gods and super humans but regular people. And yes, I like the awkward father-son dynamic that is Tony Stark to Peter Parker. (And I know this is a major grip to Spider-Man fanboys out there - I get it, and it's fine that this one isn't for you.) Spider-Man has been teaming up with people in offshoot comic books since the 60s. And, if I'm being honest, I enjoy the character more when he's working with other people.

Spider-Man has always been known for having a huge rogue's gallery. Not sure if the Vulture is one of his most popular or well known, but I think he works for this story. Michael Keaton is perfectly cast - and he's truly more terrifying as just Michael Keaton then when they put him in the somewhat awkward suit. I will say - if I have one grip about the film it's that the action sequences between Spider-Man and the Vulture are somewhat dull. The last sequence on the plane has always bored me a little - and I think it takes away, a little, from that whole -- superhero on the ground -- they spent the whole movie building up.

But that said, I really just love this film - from the Donald Glover cameo, to the Captain America health videos, to the fact that Gwenyth Paltrow had no idea she was in this film. There are so many little moments, fun beats and great one-liners that just makes this film really work and resonate for me. It just makes me feel all warm inside whenever I revisit it. And while I think the next two films in the trilogy might have some higher highs to go along with them, this is probably the best all around film in this particular series.

Final Verdict: This is my Spider-Man, and I'm glad to have him on my screen.

Next Up: More bright colors as Thor Ragnarok turns the corner.

[a-simple-imagine]

New Student

Requested by anonymous: “I was thinking maybe having the reader be a transfer student from Ilvermorny and Hermione tutors her to help her catch up with the curriculum of the new school.”

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader

Words: 4.3k+

Warnings - Prejudice and brief mention of pain

"I understand that your family is of pure descent, correct?" You can't help but fidget in your seat; the vibrant pink of her office was making you extremely uncomfortable. Not to mention the gentle mewing coming from the plates that decorated the walls. It was one thing to love cats but surely this grew annoying after a while. You nod a little as you sit up straighter. The headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was currently reading your transfer file. Having once attended school overseas, you were new to Hogwarts but instead of arriving like everyone else you were in your fifth year of education and the term had already begun for everyone else. Of course, your father cleared this with the school ahead of time but it was still embarrassing arriving so late. Not to mention, everyone else had four years of relationships and you were now just some weird new kid. "I do hope you'll consider your friends wisely while attending Hogwarts."

"May I ask what you mean by that Professor?" That was the first question you had asked since stepping through that door and you were very quickly regretting it. The woman wore a sickeningly sweet smile as she lowered the file from before her face.

"As a fifth-year student, you will be expected to take your OWLs this year. Do you believe your last establishment has prepared you for your examinations?"

"I guess," you shrug. You'd never had any trouble getting good grades in the past but Professor Umbridge didn't look convinced. Scribbling something down on her parchment, she pauses for a moment to meet your eyes.

"I would suggest acquiring a tutor for additional support. I can arrange for one of your peers to meet with you."

"That's quite alright, Professor." You dread to think of the tutor she would assign you; probably someone very studious and strict. Boring comes to mind too. "You're much too busy to concern yourself with such a task. I believe I'm quite capable of finding someone on my own."

"It is great to see a young witch taking some initiative," Her smile felt more genuine this time whereas yours was awkward.

"If that is all, may I go?"

"Of course. Run along dear" Slowly rising, you wish you could actually run out of the office and never come back but you proceed calmly. Only stopping by the door when you hear her speak once more. "But do keep in mind what I've said. We wouldn't want you falling in with the wrong kind of wizards while you're here. I expect your last school taught you how to conduct yourself."

"Thank you for your time, Professor Umbridge." With a bow of your head, you slip out the door with a sigh of the utmost relief. She was a very... intense woman to be around. After one meeting, you had another but this time it was with your head of house. Having arrived so late, you didn't partake in the sorting ceremony; which honestly you were kind of grateful for. Having to be sorted with a bunch of eleven-year-olds in front of the whole school definitely would have followed you around. Professor McGonagall briskly glides down the hallway as you stumble a few steps behind. She was the head of Gryffindor.

"I hate to be a bother but Professor Umbridge suggested I get a tutor and I was wondering if you might know a suitable candidate? With having started a few weeks after everyone else and OWLs fast approaching, I thought it was best to be safe than sorry"

"Your transcripts from your previous school don't suggest you'll have much trouble but a tutor may be beneficial," The older woman glanced back at you with a warm smile. "I have the perfect witch for the job. She's a real credit to Gryffindor. You were in Thunderbird previously?"

"Yes ma'am. Thunderbird House was considered to represent the soul of a witch or wizard and favoured adventures," you announce proudly. "I've never felt like much of an adventurer myself though."

"I'm sure you'll be a grand edition to Gryffindor. I may be biased but we're the best house at Hogwarts."

"I don't doubt that," Although you had no clue about any of the other houses to compare. "If you don't mind me asking Professor, where are we going?"

"To introduce you to your new tutor. She's in your first class so I thought I would escort you."

"Oh," You scramble forward a little faster to keep up with the woman; falling into step. "Do you think she'll be enough? I transferred at such an awkward time."

Hogwarts castle was as big as you'd imagine which made the journey to your first class seem like an eternity. As you're led down the hallway and into the dungeon, it's like the atmosphere completely changes. It's dark and cold down here. She comes to a stop outside a classroom, you peer around Professor McGonagall to see students sat at desks with small cauldrons placed before them.

"Can I speak to Miss Granger?" McGonagall asks of the teacher. He didn't seem too happy about the intrusion but he doesn't object. After a moment, a girl with luscious locks of mahogany brown steps through the door; she looks worried.

"Have I done something wrong, Professor?" Her eyes fall to yours and you offer up a small smile which she returns.

"Of course not. I just wanted to introduce you to our newest student. She'll be joining Gryffindor and was in the market for a tutor. As one of the finest students in all of Hogwarts, I thought of you."

Her eyes seemed to sparkle in response to the praise. "I would be happy to help, Professor."

It was becoming more clear that whoever this girl was, she was very eager to please. It was written in her body language or the way she addressed McGonagall. She introduces herself as Hermione Granger before heading back into class to ensure she doesn't miss anything. The nerves set in as you realise you're supposed to follow.

"A new student for you, Professor." Guess there was no turning back, you step through the archway. It was rather dull and dark but it matched the feeling of the dungeons. The shelves were lined with varying ingredients and while students had previously been working on potions, now all their attention was drawn to you.

"A little late for new additions," The man spoke slowly; he had a nasally sound to his voice. His displeasure transformed into a scowl aimed directly at you. The whispers of nosey students fill the awkward silence

"I'm-"

"Just take a seat," He demands and you didn't think twice about it. Hurrying to the first open seat you could find. "We don't have time for frivolous introductions."

Potions class had never been something you had struggled with but it seemed that the Professor - whose name you had come to learn as Snape - seemed to be making it as difficult as possible. Every question was thrown at you despite other students who will not be named being so eager to answer them. They were also specific questions such as where to find certain ingredients within the confines of the UK which you had no clue. You knew today was going to be a very long day.

Lunchtime approached and nothing felt more daunting today than being in a room full of students and not knowing a single one. You park yourself down at the end of Gryffindor table, food lined the middle and you grab a few sandwiches placing them on your plate. You're not sure if it's relief or something else when you spot the only girl you knew so far come to join you; followed by some friends.

"McGonagall gave me your timetable," She announces, sitting down opposite you. "and I have created a schedule that ensures we have enough time to cover everything."

"When did you have time to make this?" You wonder, taking a bite of the sandwich you'd picked up. It wasn't half bad.

"Never underestimate Hermione's ability to do a boring task," Next to her sat a boy with ginger hair; he wore a welcoming smile on his face that was peppered with freckles. "I'm Ron by the way."

The others that had arrived alongside Hermione, introduced themselves one by one. There was Ginny Weasley who was related to Ron; even if she hadn't told you it wasn't hard to figure out. Then there was the famous Harry Potter. A name you knew only in passing; rumours spread all around the world about him. Hermione slides a piece of parchment across the table. Along the top sat the days of the week and down the side were hours within the day. They were colour coded by type so each potion class and potion study sessions were in green and so on. Pretty much every square had been filled in with one boring task or another. "This is... a lot."

"Considering our classes this morning, you seem rather behind so I thought it was best that we take every opportunity to bring you up to speed," Having moved to England, the accent and speed in which they spoke was rather hard to understand but you don't bring it up. "We have a lot to cover before exams."

"I'm actually rather good at potions," you protest. "Professor Snape was asking me weird questions. How am I supposed to know where to find things, I've only just moved here."

"Snape can be a right git," Ron mumbles through a mouth full of food.

"You're from America, right?" This time it's Harry who speaks. There's a part of you that wants to ask about his scar but considering you've just met it seemed too rude to voice.

"Yes," you nod. "I attended Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry until my father insisted on sending me here once we moved."

"Hogwarts is the best wizarding school in the world." Hermione declares. "Or so I've read."

"I liked my old school," You'd grown used to the mechanics of Ilvermorny plus you had friends there. "Hermione, no offence, but I would kind of like to have a little fun while I'm here and this leaves no time for literally anything else? What about clubs or quidditch?"

"Studying is fun. What could be more beneficial than acquiring new knowledge," Hermione's expression is genuine but you can't see yourself thinking studying is the epitome of fun any time soon. "I will not let Professor McGonagall down by not preparing you properly. So that means hard work- we will start after lunch."

"Is she always like this?" You turn to the others.

"Pretty much." They all agree. Maybe this had been a mistake?

"So you're the new girl, huh?" A shadow lingers over you and you look up to the culprit. That vibrant red hair seemed to be everywhere, you frown a little before looking to Ron.

"Heard you came all the way from America." Another one appears beside him, a broad smile on display. Twins?

"They're my brothers," Ron answers the question before you can even ask. There sure were a lot of Weasleys in this castle.

"How many Weasleys are there?"

"I have six siblings, Ginny is the youngest. Bill, Charlie and Percy have already left though."

"I'm Fred." One of the twins announces, patting your shoulder a little. "The most handsome Weasley brother."

"I'm George and I'm much more handsome than that git," He shoves his brother playfully.

"You're identical twins,"

"No, we're not," George protests. "Fred here is adopted. I can't believe you think we look the same."

"I'm offended you think I look like this tosspot, I'm much prettier." He dramatically pretends to flip his hair over his shoulder.

"We can show you around if you like?" They both offer; as bad as it sounds you knew you were gonna struggle remembering who was who.

"We know every corner of this place." Fred declares

"Every nook and cranny." George continues. "We also the guys to go to if you ever need anything- think fanged frisbees or puking pastels. We've got you covered."

"Uh..." Glancing to your timetable, you hold it up for them to see. "I don't think I'll have time for a tour between classes and study sessions."

"Shame."

"Guess we'll see you around then, Miss America." They both leave you alone to finish your lunch. 

Written down Hermione's schedule was a lot but attending sessions was ten times worse.  The constant studying was exhausting; how she was able to just keep going was crazy but impressive. Today was Arithmancy study in the Gryffindor common room. You were sat beside Hermione at the desk; sketching her side profile on the parchment filled with unfinished sums as she explained what she was doing. Every so often she'd look at you and you'd look away. Careful not to get caught staring as you perfected each delicate line that made up her face.

"And that's how you get fifty-six- see?" Hermione shows you her work, tapping the answer with the tip of her quill.

Staring at the answer didn't make much sense but neither did the working out. You hadn't been listening at all so you flash her a sympathetic smile. "I don't get it,"

"Are you even paying attention?" Her brow crinkled; her quill falling to the desk.

"Yes-"

"Let's see your work then?" Before she can grab it, you drag your parchment away. Smothering the contents with the palms of your hands.

"No."

"Show me." She requested firmly. Eyes narrowing in on you as if issuing a challenge. With a heavy sigh, you back down. Handing over your work.

"Fine. I wasn't paying attention," You admit with a shrug; leaning over the back of the chair to stare up at the ceiling. "Arithmancy is just so boring."

"You chose to take it,"

"My parents forced me to take it," You correct, glancing back at her. Taking your parchment between her fingers, it's hard to miss the rush of colour that floods her pale cheeks. You didn't think your drawing was that good; definitely not even close to some of your other work. If anything you were embarrassed by how bad it was.

"It's pretty rough like I could do better if I had more time and my pencils" Drawing provided you with a distraction when it was most needed. You'd only started a year ago but it quickly developed into your hobby of choice. Learning to sketch people had been tough but after spending pretty much every class, staring at your fellow students you had gotten decent at it.

"It's..." Hermione trails off, handing back your work. "Can you please focus?"

"We've been at this for hours." A long groan leaves your throat as you slump down in your seat. Arms folded over your chest.

"Just a few more questions before we finish,"

You were finally growing used to your life at Hogwarts. Most of your time was spent with Hermione but you did manage to convince her to ease up a little. She grew busy with a club or something so she was more than happy to leave you to your own devices.

"You wanted to see me, Professor," you announce, entering the pink lion's den. It was somehow looking even pinker than the last time you stepped foot in here.

"Ah yes, please do take a seat. I'll be just a moment." Dropping your bag down beside the chair, you sit in the seat she signalled to. There wasn't a lot of time before you were supposed to meet Hermione to practice some charms. After a moment, Professor Umbridge speaks up. "Do you know why I've asked to see you?"

You shake your head slowly.

"Do you remember what I told you when you first arrived?"

"To get a tutor? I don't believe I'm falling behind in my classes." Hermione had been a great teacher overall; ensuring you understand everything before moving on although Snape still had a habit of asking you questions you didn't know. Was this about that?

"I'm referring to your choice in companions."

"Oh," you swallow hard. You didn't know what to say to that. Since arriving you'd started hanging with Hermione and her friends. You'd also found yourself drawn to the Weasley twins on the odd occasion. "Uh... I can assure you I've made friends Professor."

"I've noticed," she didn't sound pleased "Professor Snape also mentioned that you've been a wee bit disruptive in his class."

"That's not a fair judgment-" The words leave your lips sharper than intended but fall short when you notice the crease across the other woman's forehead.

"As headmaster, you must realise that I can't allow you to disrupt the way this school runs. Therefore you will be punished." Other than getting questions wrong, you wouldn't say you've done much else wrong in Snape's class. It wasn't fair that you were being punished for something so trivial but speaking up seemed like a one way trip to something worse. "Don't look so worried. You'll just be writing lines for me."

"Writing lines," you repeat cautiously. That seemed easy enough before you could reach into your bag, a quill and piece of parchment are placed before you. "What do you want me to write?"

"I must not fraternise with muggle-borns,"

"What does that have to do with Snape's class?" You wonder.

"Just do as your told," Umbridge quips quickly. "I do believe you've been seen around the castle with Miss Granger, correct?"

"Hermione?" You hardly believed Hermione had done anything to step out of line. Plus what did that have to do with anything? You were allowed to be friends with whoever you wanted. "Of course she is my tutor after all."

"It seems it may be more than that," Umbridge's sickeningly sweet giggle fills the office. "Now please begin."

"You haven't given me any ink?"

Striding behind her desk, she takes a seat and offers a smile. "You won't need any,"

Picking up the quill, you twist it between your fingers trying to figure out its secrets. It was black in colour, long, thin, and looked to be extremely sharp. Clearly, it was an enchanted quill if it didn't need ink. The tip glides across the paper with ease, gracing its surface with the ridiculous phrase you'd been forced to write in shiny red ink. How many times was she expecting you to do this? Hermione wouldn't be happy if you turned up late to one of your study sessions... again. A weird tingling spilt through the back of your hand before transforming into a sharp pain as you write the phrase a second time. Each letter appeared on your hand as you write it as if etched there by a scalpel. You drop the quill and the words slowly fade away but not without leaving your hand red. "Keep writing," Umbridge draws your attention, peering over from behind her teacup. You take a deep breath and write I must not fraternize with muggle-borns, the searing pain returned to your hand as you saw the phrase carved into your skin. You flex your hand as if that would relieve the pain but again the wound heels over. You no longer stopped between each line, the burning in your hand now a constant but it seemed after so many times the phrase was no longer fading. The hand on your shoulder startles you; the quill slipping from your grip.

"I think that's enough, you're free to go." Grabbing your bag, you leap out of your seat and rush for the door. "As a witch of your social standing, you should know better."

Head down, you charge through the castle to go meet Hermione but your speed slows as you realise tears prick your eyes. Dropping down on the nearest bench, you bury your face in your hands. Surely that kind of punishment wasn't allowed?

"If it isn't our favourite American." Head shooting up, you spy Fred and George. After all this time, you were beginning to be able to tell them apart.

"Why so glum, chum?" Your eyes drift just briefly to the scar on your hand. The twins taking up space either side of you.

"It's nothing- I'm fine."

"If you're fine, why are you crying?" Fred puts his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

"I'm not crying," but you have to wipe your cheeks to make sure. "I just..." you couldn't explain why you were so upset. Your thumb brushes over the back of your hand.

"Oh- it's no so bad," Fred squeezes your arm gently, they must have figured it out. "It'll fade soon enough."

"And it doesn't hurt very long, look." George shows you the back of his hand, you can't even read what it was supposed to have said. It doesn't make you feel better. "Don't cry, she's not worth it."

"Can you two leave me alone?"

"Nope," George's thumb brushes away a stray tear before tapping you on the end of your nose. You couldn't help but smile a little as you scrunched up your nose.

"We don't leave pretty sad girls alone in corridors to cry." Fred insists. "How about you show us what she had you write?"

Unsure about the decision, you let the two of them see what Umbridge had done. George takes hold of your hand, inspecting it carefully. "I must not fraternize with muggle-borns," George reads out quietly. "Do much fraternizing do you?"

"I don't even know any muggle-borns," Is all you say in response. Muggle was such a dumb word.

"Uh... Hermione? Aren't you two like best friends," Fred comments

"Hermione is No-Maj-born?" So that was why Umbridge had seemed so interested in your relationship. It was clear she held prejudice against No-Majs so it was only logical that she was trying to keep you, a pure-blood wizard, from mixing with Hermione, A no-maj-born.

"No-maj?" George questions

"Right, no-maj stand for no magic? You call em muggles." You sniffle, drying your cheeks properly.

"Ah no-maj." they both repeat.

Feeling a little better the twins escort you to your courtyard for your session with Hermione. She was packing up her textbook when she finally notices you. 0What did I tell you about punctuation? I will not tolerate sitting around here like a fool- if you do not wish to take your studies seriously then don't bother asking me to tutor you at all." The fire behind her eyes brings you to tears only this time they were hot and fast. Spilling down your face as a result of being yelled at. Hermione's expression drops, your tears extinguishing the fire. "I- Uh... sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I-It's alright," With the sleeve of your cardigan, you try to wipe away all evidence of your breakdown.

"What's wrong with your hand?"

"Umbridge," You don't even try to conceal it now. "I don't think she likes that we're hanging out."

"I'm sorry she did that to you," She takes your hand in hers, her fingertip dancing delicately over your scar. It was ripe to the touch causing you to flinch a little; pulling your hand away. "You should tell your parents."

"And cause more trouble?" Was she crazy? "I don't want to give her any more reason to drag me into the office again."

"Then... if you don't wish to continue our study sessions, I would understand. I don't want to get you into trouble." Hermione fidgets with the strap of her bag, unable to look you in the eye. It was probably the smartest choice to never hang out with Hermione again. It would certainly save you from future punishments but if you did that you'd undoubtedly miss her. She'd become such a constant In your life, you could imagine it without her in it.

"I like our sessions together," You declare, offering her the warmest smile you could muster. "Can we skip today though? My hand stings and I'm really not in the mood anymore."

"Sure," Her smile looks almost sad in comparison. "Should we go get some dinner?" 

Finishing up packing, the two of you head for the great hall. There was no way Umbridge was gonna dictate who you can be friends with even if it meant more punishment.

Christmas approaches fast and brought with it a merry aura that filled every inch of the castle. You linger in the courtyard with your suitcase waiting for Hermione. She promised to meet you before you left but had a commitment to attend to first. You don't question her but you do wish she'd hurry up; it was awfully cold out here. It's a miracle when she finally shows up, a bright smile as she approaches

"I just wanted to give you this before I go." Digging through your pockets, you produce a folded up piece of paper; taking a few steps closer.

"What is it?"

"Open it," The nerves settled in your stomach as she unfolded the paper. This time, using your pencils, you'd manage to create an almost collage of sketches. Each one of the girl who stood next to you right now during different times in the past month. It seemed like a nice little farewell gift. "Have a good break, yeah?"

"These are... you're really good." Hermione meets your soft gaze. Her face pink in colour but that may have been due to the cold. "Thank you." She wears a small, embarrassed smile. "When did you have time to draw these?"

"Never underestimate my ability to avoid my responsibilities and draw pretty girls instead," you tease. Leaning toward you place a kiss against her cheek before pointing to the address you'd written on the bottom. "Write to me."

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Want You Bad ~ S.S. (part 6)

A/n: I would like to say now that I have only seen season three and am about mid season four, so when I say I no literally no other Warbler names except Sebastian and Hunter, I meant it. Big apologies for that one. Also, PLEASE read the warnings for this part, I used it for some major catharsis in my own life so it leans a bit triggering. I was going to make this drag on longer and make you hate Tony even more, but I got upset writing it so! I skipped a lot lol.

Warnings: Major transphobia. Mentions of past abuse (gaslighting, some serious manipulation). Trauma reaction (slight isolation, crying). Creepers being creepy. That should be it. If I missed anything, please let me know!

Word Count: 5100+

MASTERLIST

A month passed, and things seemed to die down. The Warblers got used to the new system, and embraced it with an enthusiasm that made Y/n genuinely very excited. He watched Warbler after Warbler form new friendships, and grab the spotlight for the first time. He saw talent that they’d been ignoring for too long, and suddenly everyone seemed higher energy. They trusted each other more, leaned on each other more. There were more people stepping up for leading parts, and before long they weren’t just a bunch of boys with one person in front of them all. They were a group. A mass. They were the Warblers. A united force.

Y/n had never loved the Warblers more, and it felt amazing to be a part of that.

Sebastian seemed to be reveling in it too, except all of his admiration for the Warblers was turned directly to Y/n. He was constantly praising Y/n’s ideas, and from what he’d heard, even went off to other people about how awesome and talented Y/n was. In person, he still flirted, but it felt different now. More like that game he always played with Blaine when they’d first met. Y/n didn’t think that Sebastian had lost interest, he was just being respectful of Y/n’s boundaries and giving him space. They actually became friends. It was nice.

Sebastian was less than enthused about the whole friends thing, but what was one to do?

The next time things hit the fan, it wasn’t Sebastian’s fault, which was a bit of a surprise to everybody. He lasted a little over a month, and before he could go any longer, drama created itself… in the form of one of Y/n’s worst nightmares.

It started when Y/n opened the door to go into the Warbler room and there were already loud, excited discussions going on. He smiled, closing the door behind him. “What’s going on here?”

All eyes turned to Y/n, each paired with a brilliant smile. Even Sebastian was there, stepping forward to explain as the group parted, revealing what everyone was so excited about. Dread hit Y/n in the face like a train and his smile dropped immediately, his body freezing right before he’d taken another step. Seeing Y/n’s reaction, Sebastian hesitated, leaving room for the person they’d all been excited to see to speak instead. “Oh my god,” the man cooed as he made his way toward Y/n, slow and precise. “If it isn’t-”

“What are you doing here?” Y/n asked. His voice was dangerous and tight. All of the other boys seemed to pick up on the way he looked at the man then, and looked at Sebastian for answers, who only looked back with equal confusion.

The man chuckled. “Aw, don’t be so cranky, Y/n.” The name sounded wrong in his mouth. Y/n took a step back, trying to get away from him. “Is that anyway to treat an old friend?”

Ethan stepped forward, his face full of worry. “What’s the matter, Y/n?”

Y/n swallowed. “Tony.” He almost choked on the name. “Uh- he-” He cleared his throat. “We were friends, in middle school.”

Tony smiled wider, moving to Y/n’s side and slinging an arm around his shoulder. Y/n felt sick to his stomach. “Y/n and I go way back. He’s two years younger than me, so I moved on to high school a bit before he did. I came here, to Dalton. I thought you went to McKinley though.”

Y/n looked at the floor. It was a one eighty from how he usually was. His confidence had grown, and he’d really found himself in the Warblers. Now he looked like he’d become a snail hiding in its shell. It was so weird, compared to the leader he’d become, that Sebastian and Ethan both looked at each other, recognizing a fierce protectiveness in the others’ gaze.

Sebastian was the one who spoke this time. “He transferred a while ago. We’ve gotten leagues better since he joined. I’m pretty sure next year we’re gonna win.” He smiled at Y/n, who seemed to be slightly relieved that someone answered for him.

Tony only chuckled though. “So you guys lost last year and again this year huh?” Sebastian swallowed. “You know, when I was here we won every single year. I mean, we at least made it to finals.”

“Yeah you’re kind of a legend at Dalton,” Ethan began. “Came here at fourteen and quickly skipped two grades, joining the Warblers as a junior. Bringing us victories in everything we participated in for two straight years. You were the one who started the tradition of one person leading and everyone else backing up.”

Tony shrugged, proud of himself. “I proved my theory that the strongest deserved to be at the front. Everyone else does their job to make the best look even better, and then you win. It seems that not long after I left though, your standards… fell.” He looked at Y/n then and everyone in the room bristled, bothered that someone they’d all come to adore was being talked to like that.

Sebastian was the first move. He stepped over, tugging Tony’s arm off of Y/n’s shoulder, pulling Y/n by his waist into Sebastian’s side. Tony raised an eyebrow and Y/n looked over, surprised. He was being… possessive. And it was completely unsure if it was in a protective way, or because Tony had a look in his eye that Y/n was some sort of… meal. “If you’re so sure we’ve gotten worse, why don’t you stick around and see us perform?”

That made Tony smile. “I would love to. How about I come by tomorrow again and-”

“No, please,” Ethan interrupted. “Give us a song. Anything you want. The best talent is shown when you least expect it. Giving us time only lets us overthink it. After all, what could be good enough for a legend? You can’t put pressure on us like that.” It was a sweet attempt to end this as quickly as possible, but even though Tony saw right through it, Y/n appreciated it anyway.

For a moment, Tony grew quiet, letting his mind wander as he considered. Y/n already knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth though. “Have you guys ever heard Closer by Nick Jonas?” Everyone looked at each other, eyebrows furrowed.

Y/n sighed. “I have.”

“Excellent!” Tony practically sang. “You know… I miss the good old days. Why don’t we perform it together for old times sake, since your friends don’t know it?”

Everyone hesitated, knowing that this was a tough situation for Y/n, but knowing that the challenge in Tony’s eyes meant that he won if Y/n backed down. So he didn’t, because Y/n was tired of watching Tony win, and he was even more tired of feeling lost in front of this man. He took some control back and stood straight, forcing a smile on his face. “If you think you can keep up with me.”

The challenge made Tony swell. “I’ve never failed before.”

They moved from the room into the auditorium, allowing for more space for the performance, as well as allowing the other Warblers to take a seat. Y/n allowed himself to focus on his blazer, and how it had become a part of him. Something that made him feel stronger. More masculine and attractive. More powerful. Now he leaned on it to boost him, and it did. Not because of the thing itself, but because of what it represented. It felt like all of his friends were behind him, even if they were all sitting down to watch. He wasn’t alone.

Lucky them, the band kids were still in the room, wrapping up for after school stuff. Y/n approached them. He asked if they would pitch in a bit of help, and they were eager to stay and watch the show down, as well as participate in a legendary Warbler showdown. The music started, and Y/n and Tony faced each other on the opposite sides of the stage. Tony motioned for Y/n to go first, so he did.

“Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn I'm so perplexed with just one breath, I'm locked in. Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn I'm so perplexed on that, it's almost shocking. I know, I know you know you're scared; your heart, your mind, your soul, your body. They won't, they won't, they won't be careful, but I guess that you don't know me.”

The song was more than just suggestive, with Tony’s smirk growing as Y/n moved closer to him, them circling each other, eyes locked. For a terrifying moment, it was like Y/n was thirteen again, saying goodbye to Tony, his heart shattered and his body aching. When Tony reached out and touched him, Y/n felt a shiver go through him. It was a dark version of how Sebastian had been when they’d first met, getting off on Y/n’s reaction, even if it was disgust that crossed his face instead of admiration and yearning.

“Cause if I want you, and I want you, babe. Ain't going backwards, won't ask for space. Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too…” He moved closer to Tony again, but this time it was anger in his eyes, and a hate so genuine that it paled in comparison to anything he’d ever shown Sebastian. Any way he’d ever looked at Blaine. Any glare he’d ever shot at Rachel. Nothing he’d ever looked like before was even remotely similar to this.

Tony joined him, and it was a game of cat and mouse as Tony tried to get closer, and Y/n was suddenly set on dancing out of his reach. “Close! Oh, so close. I want you close, cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close. Oh, so close. I want you close. Oh, I want you close, and close ain't close enough, no-” Their voices matched beautifully, and the second Y/n hesitated Tony closed in, his hand tracing across Y/n’s shoulders, behind him and down his arm. Y/n flinched, and Sebastian felt his hands curl around his arm rests.

“Oh man, oh man I am not really known for ever being speechless,” Tony picked up on his own as the second verse started. “But now, but now somehow my words roll off my tongue right onto your lips, oh. I'm keeping cool while you keep smiling saying all the things I'm thinking. Oh man, oh man I am like you so I want proof I'm what you're feeling.”

Immediately Y/n thought of himself demanding Sebastian prove himself. He thought of how unsure they’d been, and how much they’d changed in dynamic but not in relationship. They still both yearned, and Y/n allowed nothing to happen. It was so oddly similar to how he and Tony had been all those years ago, as much as Y/n didn’t want to admit it. Back then, Tony had asked Y/n to change too...

“Cause if I want you, and I want you, babe, ain't going backwards, won't ask for space. Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too…” Tony’s breath hit Y/n’s neck and he found himself recoiling, stepping forward to get away from it. Tony chuckled, smirking as they faced each other again, but on opposite sides of the stage as where they’d started.

“Close. Oh, so close. I want you close. Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close. Oh, so close. I want you close. Oh, I want you close, and close ain't close enough, no,” they harmonized again.

They were inches away as Y/n tried to stay strong as he sang, “Cause if I want you, and I want you, babe. Ain't going backwards, won't ask for space-”

Tony came in again with, “Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too... close. Close. Oh, so close. I want you close. Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close. Oh, so close. I want you close. Oh, I want you close, and close ain't close enough, no-”

They moved around each other again, but this time they were within touching distance, their eyes locked and waves of the bitterest tension between them. Y/n felt himself wearing thin at every word he said. At every plea he had said back then. At every sign of love he’d once felt. This song begged them to wound together, when all Y/n wanted was to run away. Tony knew every bit of how Y/n was feeling right now, and was using it against him.

“Oh, I want you close, and close ain’t close enough, no.”

It ended with Tony pulling Y/n into a kiss. One that he pushed away from, wiping his lips and blinking away tears. Tony was grinning. “You said you wanted to be close right?”

Y/n’s head filled with a million memories and suddenly he was crying. He turned and ran, booking it as far and as fast as he could out of that room. Of all places, he found himself back in the famous piano room, moving as far away from the door as he could. He closed it behind him, sitting on the ground on the wrong side of the piano. Anyone who looked in wouldn’t see him without going to the other side of the piano, and he hoped it was enough to find comfort in this place without anyone finding him.

He lay on his back, looking at the ceiling. Sort of. He used his arm to cover his soft crying as he stared at a watery blob he assumed was the ceiling. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he ignored it, instead using it as a way to anchor himself. He managed to fight off a panic attack, so at least there was that. He could breathe evenly again before the calls and texts stopped coming in. He took the chance to listen to “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers. It was one he could never bring himself to sing, even if it was a perfectly fitting song for how he felt when it came to Tony.

He lay there listening to that song on repeat for what must have been an hour. It was nice. The song, though sad, was also calming, and Y/n let himself melt into the floor. For a moment he didn’t have to be on top of things. He didn’t have to be productive. But then his alarm for work went off and he picked himself up, heading to his room and changing out of his Warbler uniform and into something more comfortable. He cleaned his face, ignoring the slight redness that clung to his skin. When he got to work, he was a little late but the librarian just waved at him. He was never late, so she looked a little worried, but was also easy to forgive the slip up.

The rest of the day he spent in the back, doing paperwork and putting labels on some new books they’d gotten in the library. There were a few late books out there so he sent some emails. It was during that when Mrs. Henley, the librarian, came to the back. “Y/n?” He looked up. “Someone’s here to see you.” He felt that dread return. Tony was the one who had gotten Y/n the library job. If he was here again… Y/n was going to lose it.

Y/n went anyway, bracing himself for the worst. To his surprise, it was Sebastian instead. He was dressed down again, worry all over his face. “Hi,” Y/n said, confusion in his tone.

Sebastian seemed to let out a breath of relief. “God you scared the hell out of me Y/n. You okay? You didn’t answer any of our calls or texts, and I couldn’t find you anywhere. You weren’t in your room or the Warbler room or with any of your friends. When I called all of them they seemed surprised at first, but then… Where did you go?”

Despite his lack of energy, Y/n still had the ability to feel embarrassed. His face warmed a little and he looked away, his hand rising to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. “Uh, I was in that piano room. The one we first sang in.”

The expression on Sebastian’s face melted, softening. Y/n could have said that he was in there to use the piano, but he hadn’t. He’d gone there because it reminded Y/n of Sebastian, and he took comfort in the taller Warbler. He hadn’t thought about trying to seem lower key, or hiding why he had gone there and not to his room or his friends. He hadn’t even considered it. He hadn’t thought of running to Ethan. He had gone to the one place he could be alone while also feeling close to Sebastian, and he had done it in his most honest moment. At his most desperate.

Y/n cleared his throat and Sebastian remembered why he was here. “Are you okay?”

A shrug was all Sebastian got at first, but with a raised eyebrow and a prodding stare, Y/n gave more. “Not really.”

For a moment, Sebastian hesitated. Then whatever held him back seemed to lift just enough for him to carefully ask, “What happened between you two?”

Immediately, Y/n’s shoulders dropped. “I…” He closed his eyes. Then he sighed and opened them again. “I knew him before I transitioned. Back when I was still questioning who I was, and who I wanted to be. I knew him when I was in a very fragile place in my life, and he took advantage of that. I was easy to manipulate, and fun to manipulate at that. I fell in love with him - in puppy love really, I was like twelve. The point is, I was willing to do just about anything to please him. And, well he’s straight, so he told me to-” He cut off, his arms crossing over his chest as he gripped his upper arms like he was clinging to himself.

Reminding himself he was here and not back then, Sebastian realized.

And that’s when it clicked.

A terrible feeling wound through Sebastian and he actually took a step back in shock. “Please tell me he didn’t tell you to not transition to be with him.”

Y/n closed his eyes, head tilting away as if to hide from it. “And then I did it. I threw away everything I needed to feel comfortable, to feel myself. It was like- like Blaine not wearing hair gel.” He tried to laugh, but there was a grimness in Sebastian’s face. They both knew how viscerally uncomfortable Blaine felt without hair gel. It was a good comparison.

“I…” Sebastian moved closer, slowly reaching out to touch Y/n. Both boys hesitated, but then Y/n leaned into it, and Sebastian immediately hugged him. His head raced with all of the things that had happened between them. The way Sebastian had used him for attention, and been so hot and cold. He thought about comments he thought would have no effect on Y/n, but of course they did because… because… He leaned away from Y/n, his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Do I remind you of him?”

Y/n winced. “You… did, at first. The mind games and the teasing and just in general being a complete idiot.” He tried to laugh again but it died in his throat at the expression on Sebastian’s face. Y/n just shrugged. “Honestly, I’ve only known one person who didn’t care what length he had to go to in order to get what he wants. So… yeah. But when I came to you about gender stuff, you didn’t gaslight me or anything, you owned up to it and immediately changed. You were so stunned I would ever think you didn’t respect my identity, because you did. You do. You respect me, and you- you care about me-” He swallowed. “In your own way.” At that, Sebastian did muster a small smile.

“You’re getting all sappy on me,” Sebastian joked weakly. “I’m not prince charming.”

Y/n chuckled, more genuine this time. “You wanna fuck me so bad.” At that, the tension eased and they both laughed. “You know what, I moved past that. I broke up with him and did what I needed to accept who I am, and I’m proud of that person. I’m a bit of a mess and a little broken, but that’s life you know? It’s in the past.”

Sebastian nodded. “You’re safe now. Ethan and I aren’t going to let anything happen to you. None of the Warblers will. You’re one of us. That’s never going away.”

The smile on Y/n’s face strengthened. “Thanks, Bas.”

“Anytime.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Y/n’s forehead, then leaned back. Y/n seemed to melt at the touch, warming up and relaxing a lot. It made Sebastian feel… soft. It was weird, but not in a bad way. “You get back to work. I’m sure they need you and your many talents.” He winked and Y/n groaned before they exchanged farewells and Y/n indeed set off. Sebastian waved once before turning around and walking out of the library. The second he was out of sight, his smile dropped and a dark expression crossed his face. He pulled out his phone, calling Ethan. When the boy answered, Sebastian didn’t wait for a greeting. “We need to talk. It’s about Y/n and Tony.”

-

“Why are your little friends terrorizing me?”

Y/n turned around, guard raising as he saw Tony come into the room. Warbler practice was about to start, but as school hadn’t ended yet, Y/n had been using the room to set up. Mostly to clear his mind. His last class was English and he’d gotten ahead on the reading for this exact reason. The fact that Tony of all people was ruining his alone time was annoying as all hell. It was perhaps why his words came out far sharper than he intended when he bit out, “What are you talking about?”

Tony scoffed. “Your captain told me to stay away from you or else. Whatever that means with his seventeen year old rich white boy attitude.”

For a second Y/n thought about ignoring him, but then he just shook his head. “I told him about what happened between us.” Tony scoffed but Y/n held up a finger. “Listen Tony, I know that it happened a while ago, and you were young, okay cool. Well it ruined my life, and you never recognized that or even apologized for it. And that’s because you don’t care. Am I wrong?”

“Y/n, you’re not a boy. And that- that name is-”

Suddenly Y/n was dangerously close. “You can come into my school and show off like the narcissist you are. You can walk into my Warbler room, MINE. Not yours, not anymore. It’s mine and it’s Ethan’s and it’s Sebastian’s and all of the other Warblers’. You may live on in history, but I’ll always know the real you. The you you hide so well. You’re a monster.”

Tony scoffed. “Well don’t hold back, tell me how you really feel. Please.”

So Y/n did, the only way he knew how to.

“Honey, I'm telling the truth: I did something terrible in my early youth. My mind went blank, I lost control. I was just a little boy, I did not know.” The words were mocking, mimicking all the excuses and reasons Tony had given Y/n a million times. Excuses he knew now were lies. Just manipulation in the hands of a child who had too much power and too much cruelty in him to refrain from abusing it. The next line Y/n sang with a power that made Tony feel… uncomfortable. “I better let you go to find the prince you thought you found in me. I better set you free and give you up. Just wave and say goodbye and let you live without a monster like me.” They were words that Y/n had wished a million times to hear. An apology.

Pain emanated from Y/n. So much that Tony… hesitated. And then he cut in, joining in this little dance Y/n was trying to do alone, because what else was one like him to do but try and regain control? “Honey, what am I to you? I have pulled the trigger on this awful truth. Oh, hold me now 'cause I'm burning up. Sing me something beautiful, just make it stop.” His words were a little mocking too, and it only fueled Y/n’s fire.

They didn’t dance, and there was no music to back them up. It was still and raw and they both felt every second of it. Their voices melted together, and it hurt. “I better let you go to find the prince you thought you found in me. I better set you free and give you up. Just wave and say goodbye and let you live, without a monster like me.”

Y/n sang it with such ferocity, such accusation, that for a second Tony seemed to regret it. It had been years ago, and he’d tried not to think about it, but they’d both been holding onto that. That rush of power, for Tony. That crippling desperation that had almost consumed Y/n. And for once, Tony didn’t see power when he looked at Y/n. He didn’t see a fun time. An easy target. He saw someone he’d really hurt. Someone who had come back stronger. And it made him step back. Step away. Try and hide.

But Y/n wasn’t hiding. Not anymore.

“Just go to find the prince you thought you found. I better set you free and give you up. Just wave and say goodbye and let you live without a monster like me,” they both sang, Y/n’s voice strong and Tony’s voice softer. He seemed to be turning more genuine, more awkward. But Y/n didn’t revel in power or glory. He just seemed to hurt for the both of them, and Tony hated it even more. “To find the prince you thought you found in me. I better set you free and give you up. Just wave and say goodbye and let you live without a monster like me. To find the prince you thought you found in me. I better set you free and give you up Just wave and say goodbye and let you live without a monster like me-”

Y/n went silent, allowing Tony to end the song alone as the last line rang out, perfectly clear: “Without a monster like me.”

The words rang true, and Tony scoffed to cover it up. “You got your victim story line. You happy?”

That actually made Y/n laugh. “No Tony, I HAD my victim story. But not anymore. Not ever, ever again.” He stood tall. Unbreakable. Unwavering.

Someone cleared their throat and the pair of men looked over to see Ethan, who stood with all of the other Warblers behind him. “I think that’s your cue, Tony. Get out. And don’t come back. We don’t want anything to do with you, and neither will any future Warblers. I can promise that your legend here is ruined. Move on, you have nothing left here.”

“You can’t just-” Tony began to stutter.

Sebastian cut in, “Actually we can. We told the faculty that you were harassing one of the students, and they said that if we were to see you around again, we were to alert them immediately. Rumors spread and I don’t know exactly what they thought you were doing, but it’ll stay here forever. You’re not a hero anymore.” He smirked. “THAT is what I meant when I said or else. In case you were wondering.”

For a moment Tony seemed to be speechless, but then he just gave Y/n one last look - a look which got one in return; one empty of remorse or forgiveness - and then fixed his shirt and his hair before giving a grunted, “Whatever.” Then he was gone, his shoulder catching Sebastian’s on the way out. That wasn’t Tony’s fault though.

With the room empty of anyone other than the true Warblers, everyone relaxed.

“Well that was-” Sebastian was cut off as Y/n moved quickly to him, grabbing him by his blazer and pulling him into a heated kiss. The Warblers all broke out in uproarious applause and cheers and whoops and hollers, and the two boys grinned as they parted after relishing in their moment. Their first kiss that had felt real and genuine. No pressure or weirdness or tension that snapped. Just Sebastian and Y/n and a kiss full of meaning, all of it something to be proud of.

Sebastian’s arms fell around Y/n as they began to pull back, both a little red in the face. “Are you free on Friday?” Y/n asked, far more red than the other.

“For you?” Sebastian pretended to think, but when Y/n hit his arm he just laughed and admitted, “Yeah. Always.”

Y/n stepped back fully. “Cool.” He cleared his throat, but his grin didn’t drop even a millimeter as he turned to the board, motioning to the picked topic of this week. “So, now that that’s all settled. Anyone got anything prepared for this week?” The other Warblers tried to let it continue, settling on their win. Their otp had gotten together, and Tony had been put more than just in his place. Y/n needed some air, and they were more than happy to give it.

That rehearsal was their best yet, more powered with celebration than any of them had ever been. It was amazing, and for once they felt like more than a show choir group, or just friends. They felt like a proper family. Nothing could ruin that - not even school the next day.

-

Taglist: @starjane312

[kats-fic-recs]

5 Bkdk fics you NEED to read (...or else :))

1) Royal Affairs - Words: 18,831 Chapters: 1/1 Explicit

The Selection AU (the Bachelor but with royalty)

Crown Prince Midoriya Izuku is getting married. He just doesn’t know who he’s marrying yet. In the kingdom of Yuaehye, the tradition is to hold a Selection, where potential matches compete for the chance to win the royal heir’s hand. Izuku will have to choose his spouse from a carefully assembled pool of a dozen suitors. It’s daunting, but as his mother and father make plans to step away from the throne, it’s time for Izuku to step up, and that means finding a partner.

Bakugou Katsuki is a hot-tempered young knight on track to be the next Captain of the Guard. He also happens to be the prince’s childhood best friend, though their relationship as adults has always been rather shaky. So it comes as a shock when Katsuki crashes the Selection, demands a spot in the competition— and becomes Izuku’s surprise thirteenth suitor.

Absolutely adorable story with a great plot and a huge misunderstanding that comes from having different love languages

2) it's time that we grow old and do some shit Words: 1,374 Chapters: 1/1 Rating: General

They don't remember their taxes until Ochako casually asks Deku over texts if they've handed in their forms already, and there's a moment when all of his life flashes before his eyes until he snaps out of it and runs to Bakugou

Our 2 heros must combine forces and face the worst villian of all: taxes

3) Never Have I Ever Words: 22,763 Chapters: 10/10 Rating: Teen+

"...I don’t think I have any other hobbies. Nothing outside of heroes and quirks. I never really had any friends to hang out with after school, so there’s a lot of things I’ve never done before. I guess, I just realized, outside of wanting to be a hero, I don’t have anything.”

“I’ve actually got an idea.” Nothing could have prepared Izuku for the suggestion that followed, “We can have practice hangouts before your friends drag you to new places. It’s like training, but for social situations.”

An "Accidental Dating” trope fic where Izuku needs help navigating all the social outings he never experienced in middle school and Katsuki ends up accidentally taking him on a bunch of dates.

Cutecutecuteeee also y'all should totally check out the author, they writing is really good

4) What I can never tell you Words: 27,067 Chapters: 6/6 Rating: Explicit

Bakugou suffered an accident. You need to come back. Now.’

After living in the US for 5 years, Izuku returns to take care of a concussed Bakugou who believes they're engaged.

Now, Izuku has to pretend he's in a relationship with the man he's loved for most of his life, knowing that it's just a matter of time until Katsuki gets better and realizes it's all a lie.

Adore this sosososo much also highly recommend the author

5) We're on our own, trust me I know Words: 20,143 Chapters:1/1 Rating: Teen+

"What if we're not late bloomers?" Deku had asked him once when they were very young. “What if we don’t get our quirks? What if our quirks never come for our whole lives?”

Katsuki hadn't been able to answer, then. All he'd known was that they'd be able to do anything together, even if the hero business tried to spit them out just because they were missing bits and pieces. That was until Deku'd told him the truth, anyway. That he'd been hiding a quirk for ten years and Katsuki had just been stupid and trusting.

He doesn't get into UA. Deku leaves him behind and lives the dream alone. Katsuki picks up modelling and turns out to be surprisingly good at it, and after a while he thinks maybe he can make peace with never becoming a hero. This ain't a bad life, after all. There are stalkers and endless reporters but maybe he can make this work.

For all of six years, anyway. Then he figures out his new neighbour has green eyes and cute freckles. And then, Katsuki thinks, maybe god hates him.

Everything Supercrunch writes is a masterpiece including this

Tadaaaa you've made it to the end :)💞💞

[livingasaghost]

okay so i always see a bunch of ridiculous aftg headcanons soooo i decided to put my hat in the ring and try it out

this is all about the foxes and their chaotic as hell groupchats

so let’s imagine for a second that this series doesn’t take place in the early 2000s so smart phones exist 

periodically the foxes have exchanged numbers with each other - obviously each of the cliques can contact each other, but then throughout that first year there are little things that cause people to give out their numbers

like at some point nicky lets it slip that he’s having trouble with his stats class and out of the blue allison offers to meet up with him because she’s surprisingly like really great at math? so the two of them start up a little text chain where they just shit talk everyone and start a few random bets

and then dan gets katelyn’s number from one of the other vixens and the two of them initially just start texting about game details...which turns into bonding over make-up and girl talk and eventually dan starts inviting katelyn to hang out with her and the fox girls

at first renee is the only one who has everyone’s number because she’s the only one who everyone likes 

but then after their big win, renee just puts everyone in one massive groupchat so no one gets left out and they can all bond and it’s just as chaotic as one would expect

at first everyone’s just trying to figure out who’s who, but not everyone has an iphone so all the iphone users are really pissed off at the green bubbles

aaron’s the only one with an android because of course he is

he refuses to switch to an iphone even when the rest of the team BEGS him to bc he “doesn’t see the point”

for the whole summer after neil’s first year, the team keeps trying to pressure him and andrew into upgrading their phones because the team is so sick of what it’s doing to the groupchat

neil doesn’t really know how it all works because he’s still getting used to having a phone and having friends to text, but then everyone starts sending him emojis that don’t show up properly and his phone won’t load any photos they send and the rest of the foxes are so FRUSTRATED bc neil doesn’t seem to notice

eventually, in a shocking turn of events, andrew gets so fed up with the chaos of everyone texting his flip phone that he’s the one who gives in

he shows up at the dorm one day and just hands neil a little baggie with his new iphone

they’re just starting to get it set up when nicky strolls in and IMMEDIATELY takes over, showing neil all about emojis and changing your phone background and saving all the fox contacts

neil is, unsurprisingly, very overwhelmed and slightly terrified, so andrew reaches over and does it all for him, and nicky just looks put out

it takes neil like six months to change any of his contacts or backgrounds or settings because he just doesn’t care

eventually he does manage to set his lockscreen to a really bad photo he took of andrew when he wasn’t paying attention

andrew notices it one day and chooses not to say anything

(he secretly loves it)

when the groupchats start heating up.......neil realizes it’s kind of fun to have a smart phone because it feels like the foxes are with him all the time

after neil and andrew get iphones, the rest of the team decide to make a separate groupchat for just apple users bc no one really texts aaron regularly anyway

at first it’s just a place where people drop details about practices

dan shares news from wymack and abby and then kevin starts giving orders about what the foxes can do better

and somehow that is the tipping point

because everyone hates when kevin starts talking exy

(except neil)

so everyone jumps on him and it’s the perfect icebreaker

nicky is the obnoxious one who sends a ridiculous amount of emojis and gifs and reaction images (neil never knows where he finds them all) - he also sends the most tiktoks. usually ones that are super inappropriate or just plain stupid.

allison texts a lot because she’s always attached to her phone ready for the tea and sometimes she’ll send a really raunchy meme just to spice things up

neil doesn’t really know what’s going on half the time - and he never really scrolls up to see what he’s missed - so if and when he does respond, it’s usually just to ask clarifying questions or give a thumbs up

matt is the one who always checks in to make sure everyone’s doing okay - he’ll send really encouraging texts that people like andrew shit on

one time matt sends everyone a really sweet text over the holidays about how much they mean to him....and then dan just kicks him out of the gc and goes “okay enough of that bullshit i hate u guys xoxo” and andrew gives it a thumbs up

sometimes when he’s bored andrew will just kick out everyone but renee and neil bc why not

kevin is the one who gets kicked out the most 

sometimes it’s because he texts about exy, but eventually it just becomes a running joke that they’ll kick him out randomly

like they’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then allison will just boot him out of the gc just to see what he’ll do

usually when this happens kevin will just send an angry message in one of the other gcs telling neil to add him back

it’s usually neil or renee who adds someone back bc they feel bad that people get left out of the gc

renee has this weird obsession with tiktok and she sends them CONSTANTLY like usually they remind her of certain teammates

she’ll send these at all hours of the night bc she has trouble sleeping and that means more time to scroll through the app from hell

and even though it gets on everyone’s nerves, no one can hate renee so they all just kind of....watch the videos and then everyone’s obsessed with tiktok

dan will send memes and things but only when they’re like so ridiculously funny that they get the whole gc wheezing at midnight on a school night

and usually they’re SO ridiculous that they only make sense to dan

“Dan you do realize we have practice tomorrow?”

“matt shut up this girl is talking like MARGE SIMPSON I CANT BREATHE”

most of the foxes text without proper capitalization or punctuation but  matt and kevin and neil (and aaron) are all very proper with their texting

dan makes fun of matt all the time bc he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to Use Proper English but matt doesn’t understand why everyone can’t just use capitals when it’s automatic (he doesn’t know how to turn it off)

neil uses proper grammar just bc it doesn’t occur to him to do anything else

andrew uses lowercase bc it reads like a monotone to him and he thinks it’s ~cool~ and he also likes making kevin mad

sometimes he’ll use the wrong punctuation and grammar on purpose just to get kevin to reply to his texts

eventually nicky realizes he can change the group name and the group photo so he starts the most chaotic conversation by dramatically changing it to a snapchat screenshot of neil asleep on andrew’s lap and calling the gc SEXY EXY BESTIES 👅💦

it stays like that for all of two minutes before kevin notices and quickly changes the name to The Foxes

and then it becomes a free for all as everyone tries to be smart and snarky and ridiculous

stans of kevin’s left hand

the foxwhore court

🧡 Neil Josten Fanclub 🧡

life’s like a game of exy🥍

periodically throughout the week someone will change the name as they see fit - normally it’s something stupid but sometimes they’ll start an actual conversation by changing the group name

The Ungrateful Foxes

fuck you kevin

Guys plz be nice to Kevin

YOU KNOW, I GET IT—

The Worst Team in the NCAA

fuck you kevin

GO TO SLEEP NEIL!!!

one time after they’d spent like two weeks being called wymack’s whores, andrew decided he’d had enough of that so he just renamed it 🖕🏻🦊

and they do have a separate gc with wymack (they just don’t need to bother him with all their shitty commentary)

but funny enough, they’re almost worse in the wymack gc

at first wymack tried to control everyone by kicking people out who misbehaved, but then it just kept happening until it was him, kevin and renee left and he had to let it go

now all the foxes will text him at the most random times with the most random of questions

they also have a running joke where they all call him dad

kevin hates it, but wymack secretly thinks it’s hilarious and sweet

“hey dad can we get pizza after practice tomorrow???”

“dad nicky’s being a bitch can you make him run extra laps”

“WAIT DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT WYMACK IS KEVIN’S ACTUAL DAD??? *blinking man gif*”

kevin starts leaving the gc instead of waiting to be kicked out

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Visiting Yuji in Tokyo

“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon

Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be

You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten

He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him

You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable

Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great

Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less

Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid

You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way

Hes just built different

Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital

You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him

He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support

Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji

Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts

Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him

Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it

Oh what a fool you were

Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you

He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact

You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession

“I really like you!

You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship

He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything

From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple

All the cuddles

No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things

His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship

Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great

But a few months into highschool lots of things happened

Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes

And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??

“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”

He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart

“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”

“But what about us?”

And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship

Every night when you can you call and chat for hours

But thats not enough

You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room

It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do

Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all

Probably doesnt even know what the word means

But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days

With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there

Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights

You were super nervous and excited

Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months

Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo

So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at

After an extra hour you guys finally meet

He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave

In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in

After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around

Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know

“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours

Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures

Tons of hugs and cheek kisses

Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less

The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him

“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”

His chewing pauses

Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu

But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways

With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted

Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist

“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says

You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason

“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him

You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets

He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss

The next two days went by in a flash

Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months

He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember

Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him

It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it

You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe

One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair

You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold

‘A fashion choice?’

Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga

“I love you” you said cutting him off

Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense

Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder

It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier

“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”

The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day

The tall one gives you a wave

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar

“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions

“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh

“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.

“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself

As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from

‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’

“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause

They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile

“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull

“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”

“And what about you?” you ask the other boy

“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone

“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists

“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”

The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time

You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him

Then again you just met him so

Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji

“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave

Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look

“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”

The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm

Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome

When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’

You do the same and tear up a bit

With one final photo you head back to your home town

You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on

[angrylizardjacket]

dirtbags // 5: Charlotte

Summary: High School AU. 1985. Winter. Charlotte and Razzle are officially not dating, while Lola’s not dating someone but won’t say who, though she’s contemplating sleeping with Tommy in an effort to get him to stop pining for her, which Charlotte thinks is a terrible idea. Except that Charlotte lets slip to Tommy that that’s Lola’s plan, and he doesn’t take it well. The whole pack ends up at the Drive-In, which is going great for Charlotte and Razzle right up until Nikki decides to be an ass, and Charlotte realises that Tommy has spoken to Lola about their fight. It looks like things will be getting worse before they get better.

A/N: 6655 words. long overdue sorry!! @misscharlottelee and @evaangelics my beloveds this is, as always, for you both. ft. asofterworld quotes

my sister and i both hate antique shopping. but we love hating things together.

So yes, technically Charlotte and Razzle spent the better part of Heather’s party in a dark corner being altogether gross, as an incredibly drunk Peach had informed them both before she was pulled away by a far more sober Vince, which Charlotte hadn’t thought much of at the time, herself more than a little tipsy, but hearing Eileen rant in the diner the following day had made her feel a little guilty for not paying more attention. Not that anything bad happened, but still, she felt partially responsible for the young ginger girl. 

But the point is that Charlotte and Razzle are not dating, despite what everyone in their weird and ragtag bunch of lunchtime delinquents likes to imply. If Charlotte could justify punching Nikki again, she absolutely would. It’s not her fault that Razzle’s interesting and kind and honest and funny, and if she finds herself feeling a little heady, a little good-nauseous, like she had back when she and Duff had first been dancing around the idea of being a couple, she pushes those feelings to the back of her mind and distracts herself with something, anything else. 

Right now, she’s got a terrible headache and is having a whisper argument with Lola in the middle of art, trying to talk her out of pity-fucking Tommy.

“You make it sound so crass and heartless,” Lola’s lip curled, frowning at the red pencil in her hand and the cartoon drawing of a flower in her notes, “pity-fucking,” the word sounds wrong on Lola’s lips, tone derisive, “you say it like I don’t care about him.”

“Don’t pity-fuck my cousin, you can both do better,” Charlotte rubs at her temples, eyes closed, as Lola makes a noise like she’s not too sure if that’s a compliment, “a few weeks ago, you promised me you were just friends -”

“He’s a hopeless romantic who keeps hearing about cheerleaders sleeping with people who aren’t him, lemme put him out of his misery -”

“By fucking him? What if he catches further feelings for you?”

“I dunno, I’ll kill him?” Lola suggests flippantly, and when Charlotte cracks her eyes open to level a glare at Lola, the dark haired girl is grinning, clearly joking.

“Why Tommy? Why can’t you sleep with someone less related to me?” Charlotte hisses, tone vaguely annoyed and desperate, “I thought you were getting laid? What’s up with you and Nikki anyways?” There’s a shift in her tone, and Lola makes a face, pressing a little harder with her pencil. 

“I am sleeping with someone less related to you,” Lola says, though there’s a strangely guarded quality to her voice, “not Nikki, for the record; he’s the one who suggested I sleep with Tommy to begin with. He’s too much of a bitch to fuck me himself,” she mutters, mostly to herself, a little wrinkle creasing the bridge of her nose as she thinks about it. 

“Wait, you’re seeing someone? For real? And it’s not Nikki?” Charlotte’s expression lit up, and Lola gave her a calculating looking out of the corner of her eye.

“I bet we both know another person I’m not sleeping with,” and Lola’s tone is mean and a little venomous as she deftly changes the subject, “how is our favourite exchange student, by the way?” Charlotte realises too late that her excited questioning of Lola’s private life may have touched a nerve. For all that Lola’s become more open in the few months they’ve been friends, there were strange lines Charlotte kept finding. Lola never really acted as though she cared much about Charlotte and Razzle’s vague status, so to use it against Charlotte was a surprise, and a clear giveaway that one of those lines had been crossed. It got Lola’s message across well enough, and Charlotte’s mouth snapped closed. 

Lola was a terrible distraction when she wanted to be.

“Lola’s not seeing anyone,” Nikki says flatly around his cigarette, and when Charlotte realises she’s gossiping with Nikki Sixx, she wonders idly where her life went wrong, “she’s fucking someone,” he corrected, “and she refuses to tell me who, but she’s not seeing anyone.” He sounds far more annoyed than Charlotte had anticipated, and she can’t help herself. She tugs on that string.

“Wait, so it’s actually not you?” 

“Lola’s dad is built like He-Man, Master of the Fucking Universe, have you seen him, Charlie? I couldn’t stick it in his daughter and bring myself to look him in the eye every other day; and I’m past worrying if he’s gonna toss me into space like he’s an Olympic hammer thrower,” Nikki considers for a moment, before heaving a sigh, “I just don’t wanna disappoint him.”

“You think fucking Lola’s gonna disappoint her dad?” Charlotte’s brow wrinkled with slight confusion, “why do you even talk to her dad every other day?”

“We work together?” Nikki says, like it’s the simplest answer in the world, and oh, suddenly Charlotte knows exactly why the back of the fry cook in Leo’s looked so familiar. Nikki can obviously read it on her face as the realisation, the full understanding of the situation dawns on Charlotte, but it still doesn’t stop her from bursting out with laughter.

“Oh dude, you definitely cannot fuck your boss’s daughter, no matter how much you so clearly want to -”

“Hey!” Nikki snapped, “bold words coming from you, Miss Lee; you already made sure Razz has had the full American High School Experience, or are you waiting for Prom to go full cliché about it?”

“Nikki, I’ve already punched you in the face once, so help me -”

“Yeah but now I know what to expect, I’m kinda into it,” Nikki’s grin is all teeth, and he leans across the table, into Charlotte’s space, “do it again, Miss Lee,” he teases, offering up his cheek to her, grinning from ear to ear. Charlotte makes a disgusted noise, leaning back, crossing her arms.

“You disgust me; can you please quit your job so you can fuck Lola?” 

Thankfully, this seems to take the wind out of Nikki’s sails, his expression falling to something irritated as he huffs and drops his gaze, sitting back dejectedly, and pointedly refusing, unable to come with a snide comeback in time to save face. 

“Lola would punch you in the face,” Charlotte pointed out, tone a little smug, and Nikki presses his lips together, trying very hard to keep his expression neutral as a blush creeps up his cheeks. 

“So would that leggy redhead of yours,” he’s quick to change the conversation, “isn’t she in the musical? You know my band’s still looking for a singer -”

“Lemme stop you right there,” Charlotte stops Nikki in his tracks, holding up a single hand for silence, “first of all, the only person Eileen hates more than you is Vince Neil, and she told me personally that she’d rather eat glass than join your band, secondly -”

“You talked about my band with her?” There’s something a little bashful in Nikki’s voice, and the blush hasn’t left his cheeks; the whole picture would be endearing if he wasn’t such a colossal asshole.

“Secondly,” Charlotte tries again, “you know her name’s Eileen; everyone knows her name is Eileen, stop calling her my leggy redhead,” she ordered, before taking a deep breath, trying to let her irritation subside, “and thirdly, Lola was the one who asked Eileen to be in your band, Eileen just brought it up to me because she knew Tommy was in it.” Nikki, who had already been pink all over, was steadily turning red, trying to hide it as he made a show of patting down his pockets looking for his cigarettes.

“Lola... uh, she talks about my band? She asked if Eileen wanted to join us?” He’s shooting for casual and missing the mark miserably, much to Charlotte’s delight.

“You’re so in love with her,” she smirks. Nikki scowls at her. The bell rings.

i have found a way to watch video in your head. high definition, with instant replay. it is called having regrets.

When Eileen invites Charlotte to the drive in, and suggests bringing Razzle, she insists it’s not a date, that some of the people from the musical were just getting together to watch the new horror movie, and she thought it would be good for Razzle to experience a proper, drive-in movie. That probably should have set of alarm bells in Charlotte’s mind, since everyone knew that if you take someone to a horror movie at the drive-in, you generally don’t end up actually watching much of the movie. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book. 

But Eileen’s adamant, and Charlotte honestly wouldn’t actually mind sneaking off with Razzle at some point, if the opportunity arose, not that she’s admit that. 

“I should ask Lola to go,” Tommy says, tone a little wistful, when, on Thursday, Charlotte tells him her plans for the following evening; alarm bells definitely start ringing. 

They’re in Tommy’s kitchen after school, with his mom at the supermarket, and his dad at work, they’ve got the house to themselves, apart from Tommy’s sister upstairs, monopolising the phone. Charlotte’s sitting on the counter, while Tommy’s staring into the refrigerator, not actually looking at what’s in there, thoughts miles away as he considers his own words.

“Shut that if you’re not going to get anything, and no you shouldn’t,” Charlotte shuts him down immediately, to which Tommy frowns, asking derisively when she became the boss of him, slamming the fridge closed, “I thought you two were just friends,” Charlotte counters with.

“I can ask a friend to the drive-in,” though the way he suddenly can’t meet her gaze betrays him, and he flits over to a cupboard, opening it and staring at the food inside, trying to decide on an afternoon snack, “why are you here, anyways?” At this, Charlotte goes quiet and pensive, looking down at her knees as her heels kick softly against the cupboards below, trying not to think about how her mother keeps leaving college brochures out, with Law, Accounting, and Medicine courses all meticulously highlighted, or how whenever they’re in the same room, she’s treated to passive aggressive questions about whether she’s seen the brochures her parents know she definitely hasn’t touched.

“Am I not allowed to hang out with you?” Charlotte finally surfaces from her thoughts to see that Tommy is waiting for an answer.

“Not if you’re going to be an asshole.”

“If you’re going to daydream about Lola, I’m going to be an asshole,” Charlotte fired back, snarkily, and Tommy narrowed his eyes at her.

“You’ve become kind of a bitch since you started hanging out with Nikki,” he huffs, and Charlotte straightens up where she’s sitting, eyes going wide with disbelief, with slight outrage.

“I’m just fucking sick of hearing you chase after girls who don’t want you! It’s all you ever talk about!”

“Lola wants me! Lola fucking wants me, Charlie!”

“She doesn’t want you, she wants to pity-fuck you so you’ll get off her damn case! Just how naïve are you, Thomas?” Charlotte yells back, and immediately smacks her hand to her mouth, regret written all over her face. Tommy’s expression falls like his heart is breaking. “Tommy -”

“A real, fucking bitch,” there’s a shake in Tommy’s voice that is breaking Charlotte’s heart, and she tries to apologise, but he tells her to go home. 

Yes, she leaves, she shuts the door behind herself, but she can’t bring herself to go home. Her feet carry her while her mind is blank, but when she looks up, she’s pushing open the door to the gas station, seeing Mick Mars look up from his magazine. Before he greets her, she sees the way his eyes search the space around her, roam the empty fuel pumps, as if expecting Tommy to pop out behind her. Then, once he considers himself safe, he puts down his magazine, tilting his head curiously at her, at her dejected demeanour. 

“Charlotte?” She’s actually surprised that he knows her name, and Charlotte hovers in the door, letting in the cold air from outside as she deliberates. Why had she come here of all places? “Are you okay?” The words sound strange, like he’s not used to saying them, not used to showing any sort of care, but she appreciates them nonetheless.

“I was a massive asshole to Tommy,” the words spill from her before she can stop them, and she watches Mick’s expression, can almost see him fight back several sarcastic or congratulatory remarks, suppressing his own well-worn irritation for her cousin, instead, just making a noise in the back of his throat that she can’t quite decipher. Then, he looks out the window, looks to the clock on the wall, and takes his feet off the counter carefully. 

“Do you want a slurpee?” He asks, obviously a little uncertain of how to proceed.

“Not really,” Charlotte admits, and Mick awkwardly looks around, as if to offer something else.

“Do you smoke?” He’s already pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. Charlotte shoves her hands into her coat pockets, shaking her head, looking at the floor, not quite sure where to go from here herself, “do you mind if I smoke?” 

“No,” her voice is small.

They sit on the step by the door outside the gas station, side by side, silent for a few minutes as Mick smokes his cigarette. No cars approach, but they watch some drive by as the sun sinks lower in the sky. 

“I told him Lola doesn’t want him, that she’s just interested in pity-fucking him because she thinks it’d get him off her case,” Charlotte admits, and from the corner of her eye, she sees Mick wince, a sign that what she’d said truly was a dick move. 

“That would’a broken the kid’s heart,” Mick muses around his cigarette, and Charlotte, who’d had her knees curled up to her chest, rests her chin on them, with a quiet ‘I know’. 

“He said I turned into an asshole since I became friends with Nikki Sixx, and then I just managed to prove him right,” she seethes, disappointed in herself more than anything else. 

“That’s your first problem; being friends with Nikki Sixx.”

“That was an accident,” Charlotte tried to defend herself, “and I’ve been friends with Nikki for kind of a while, honestly, but I was just so sick of hearing Tommy moon over girls who don’t even look twice at him, like they hung the stars in the sky -”

“Charlotte,” Mick interrupts her, his voice soft but insistent, and when she finally looks at him, he’s actually frowning at her, hands stilled with another cigarette half-pulled from it’s packet, “that’s not... you know why what you said hurt him, right? You know you could’a said that about any other cheerleader he was into and it would’a rolled right off his back, right?”

Oh. Oh no. Slowly, Charlotte’s expression crumbles as the full weight of her words dawns upon her, her guilt skyrocketing. Face in her hands, she actually wails, and Mick gives a firm pat on the back as a show of support. 

“They’re friends, Mick.”

“I know, Charlotte.”

“God, fuck, he probably thinks that I mean she doesn’t even like him as a friend, Mick!”

“Yeah,” he sighed deeply, giving another pat, “I know, Charlotte.”

“I just... don’t want him to get his heart broken,” she admitted, her only attempt to justify herself, which Mick didn’t accept as a proper answer for a moment.

“He’s sixteen, he’s gotta make his own mistakes, and,” at this he hesitates, lighting up his cigarette and taking a long draft as he deliberated saying his next words, “don’t ever let her know I told you this,” he adds seriously, “but the last thing Lola wants to do is hurt that kid; if anything, she’s hoping hooking up with him will strengthen their friendship, and raise his confidence for when he goes after other girls.” This... is a lot to process.

“How do you even know this?” Charlotte asked, bewildered, and Mick scrunches his face up and takes another long inhale on his cigarette.

“We’re friends,” is what he settles on.

“What?”

“Lola and I... are friends,” he sounds like he doesn’t want to admit it, and visibly cringes as he follows it up with, “she cares about that kid, and speaks very highly of him, and of you, honestly, and maybe the kid’s not as irritating as I had him pegged as. He’s still irritating, but he,” and he audibly groans, hanging his head for a moment, as if disappointed that he’s even saying any of this, “he’s a good friend to Lola.” It’s like the words themselves hurt him to admit, so he changes the topic quickly, “she told me he’s in a band with Sixx, actually,” and his tone is thankfully much less strained as he straightens his posture a little, ignoring Charlotte’s frankly flabbergasted expression, “I’ve been seriously considering joining them.”

“You sing?” Is what Charlotte hears herself say, without really registering it. Mick snorts derisively.

“Fuck no, I play guitar.”

“You sho- you should join them,” Charlotte babbles, trying to make sense of everything that she’d just learned, and now this of all things, but it’s going to take her a while. 

“I should,” he agrees with the barest hint of a smile, once more clapping her on the back. He hesitates before he stands, like he wants to say something else, but instead, he gives an awkward smile and gets to his feet, heading back inside, leaving Charlotte in silence. 

Eileen gives her a lift to school the following morning, seething about how Peach got a part-time job and their parents still aren’t happy. It’s conflicting for the older sister, who hates hearing the derisive way her parents refer to Peach as a ‘burger flipper’, while Peach herself had sneered when Eileen had asked about the job, telling her older sister that she was done grovelling at their parents’ feet just to exist, with an implied ‘unlike you’ which had been so uncharacteristic of the usually kind and upbeat Peach that it had sent Eileen spiralling. It was the third day in a row Eileen had been ranting about it, about how she just wanted to support Peach, but that her whole family appeared to be turning on each other.

Charlotte found herself relating to that particular sentiment far too well.

Half their ragtag bunch of lunchtime misfits is notably absent from their usual lunchtime hang out, so while Charlotte spends the forty minutes picking apart her food like she’s trying to deconstruct it atomically, Razzle sits diligently as Eileen carefully and meticulously braids his hair, while he asks if he needs to bring anything, or wear anything special to the drive in that Friday. Charlotte’s not paying them any attention, just letting her gaze roam distractedly essentially until the bell rings, and Eileen pulls the hairband from her own hair to secure Razzle’s braid, before taking off. 

“Anybody home in that head of yours, Charlie? The bell’s gone,” Razzle’s offering her his hand where he’s standing, and Charlotte finally returns to reality from her blank, concerned mind, wiping the last few crumbs of her sandwich on her jeans picking up her bag with one hand and taking Razzle’s hand with the other. Today he’s chosen to wear a royal purple collared shirt, several sized too big for him, with the sleeves rolled up, tucked into tight, acid-washed jeans littered with naturally-made holes, his backpack on his back, and a black, corduroy jacket slung over one shoulder; with his newly acquired braid, the whole look is quite fetching, quite -

“You look like a prince,” Charlotte feels rather foolish for even saying it, can feel as the blush rises on her cheeks, but Razzle’s beaming as he pulls her to her feet, and doesn’t let go of her hand for a moment. 

“Well then I must be truly lucky to get court a princess like you,” and coming from anyone else, it would have sounded cheesy, or the phrase princess would have been derisive or snide, but he’s sincere, almost painfully so, and Charlotte ducks her head, “not courting,” Razzle corrects quickly, and Charlotte doesn’t think about how her heart sinks at that, despite how they’d talked through this.

“Princess Charlie -” something about the way he says her name always hits her hard, because hearing how it sounds, the reverence with which he says it, the nervousness, she leans in and kisses him quickly, can’t help herself, can’t stop herself. But then she’s leaning back, getting a better grip on her backpack, but - “wait, wait, wait, Charlie, wait -” Razzle, for the barest moment, tightens his grip on her hand, and she’s terrified that she crossed a line, that she’s done something wrong, but she turns back, and he doesn’t seem to be mad or concerned, instead he drops the jacket he’d been holding, gently taking her face in his hands, “can’t spring that on me and get away with it; lemme do it proper.” 

i am going to build a new boyfriend out of garbage and dirty feathers. no one else will touch him. 

 “Did you tell Tommy we were coming here?” Eileen hissed, startling the hell out of Charlotte at the concession stand at the drive-in before the movie began. Charlotte, who had been hovering in line, nervously retucking her nice blouse into her skirt every few minutes, almost jumped out of her skin at her friend’s voice in her ear.

“Yeah, I - why?” Looking around, Charlotte thankfully can’t see Tommy’s shitbox of a car, but it becomes readily apparent the source of Eileen’s frustrations, when she spots a shiny, red sports car parked four cars past where Keanu and his good friend and well known fellow theatre kid Alex Winter were sitting on the hood of Keanu’s car, chatting animatedly with Razzle, who they had been quick to warm to him upon meeting him about twenty minutes ago. 

“Charlie!” The name came out as a frustrated noise from between Eileen’s clenched teeth, her eyes glued to Vince Neil’s ostentatious car, and Charlotte looked down for a moment, before adjusting her skirt again and retucking her shirt as she spoke.

“I didn’t know he’d tell Vince; I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday afternoon,” and she hesitates before adding, “we got into this fight and I’ve been trying to figure out how to apologise but I don’t know how, so it kind of slipped my mind, I didn’t know -”

“We’ll talk about you and Tommy later, I promise, but right now I need you to tell me three convincing arguments as to why I shouldn’t pop one of Vince Neil’s fucking tires.” Eileen’s hatred of Vince is perhaps getting out of hand, Charlotte considers, prying Eileen’s vice-like grip from her upper arm, considering for a moment.

“I know you have no qualms about becoming a felon to protect Peach,” Charlotte says with half a smirk.

“Absolutely none,” Eileen agrees without missing a beat, which was both amusing and heartwarming.

“- but your mom would probably pull you out of public school to enrol you in that strict, girls-only, future-nun-school, Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrow,” Charlotte’s trying so desperately not to smirk, not to give her amusement away at the concept, “and you can say goodbye to any chance you had of ever making out with your co-star on or off stage.” 

Eileen turns as red as her hair, but at least she takes a moment to calm down, glancing over her shoulder at the three boys who were waiting for them. Keanu looks over for a moment, catching her gaze, waving and grinning from ear to ear, and Charlotte practically cackles as Eileen’s blush deepens. 

“Look, Eileen look,” Charlotte pointed insistently back at the boys, to where Alex had hopped off the hood of Keanu’s car, and was making his way over to the pack of kids Eileen had vaguely gestured to earlier, mentioning that they made up most of the technical theatre department, despite their leather jackets and motorcycles, leaving Razzle and Keanu chattering away, “Alex is going to hang out with the Crew boys, leaving Keanu free to comfort you during the scary movie.”

Eileen takes a deep breath, not even pretending like that wasn’t what she wanted, steeling herself to head back, and ignore Vince Neil’s goddamn car. After a beat, however, she turns to Charlotte, looking altogether stern and collected.

“I know I said you and Razzle could stay in my car, since I’m hanging out with Keanu, but don’t have sex in there -”

“What?!”

“Don’t have sex with Razzle in my car,” Eileen practically ordered, and Charlotte nervously looked to the guy ahead of her in line. He looked back at her, between the two girls, then thankfully stepped up to the counter without a word. 

“I wasn’t planning on it!”

“Well you also weren’t planning on being make out buddies after getting drunk and being the gross PDA couple at Heather’s party,” Eileen sniped back, “listen, I just want Peach to be able to sit in my car without either of your bare asses having touched any of the seats.” 

“I won’t let either of our bare asses touch the seat,” Charlotte agreed, mortified.

“And no stains -”

“Eileen!” Charlotte all but screeches, right as the messages before the movie started playing.

“Eileen, the charming Mister Reeves wants a word with you,” Razzle’s voice joins them just moments before Charlotte’s pretty sure she would have expired from embarrassment, and at the mere mention of Keanu, Eileen relaxes a little. All three of them glance over to Keanu’s car, to see the man himself leaning against his windshield, cigarette idle in one hand as he watches the first of the preview trailers. As much as he makes gestures like he’s about to take a drag, the cigarette never quite makes it to his lips before he extends his arm out beside him again, like he’s going through the motions without really following through. Eileen, as if drawn to him by a spell, practically floats away.

“She’s a strange one,” he says fondly, though Charlotte kindly doesn’t point out the hypocrisy in his words, “Keanu and Alex act like she’s some aloof, inscrutable woman; weren’t sure we were talking about the same woman,” he huffed a laugh, much to Charlotte’s disbelief.

“Eileen... she is an aloof, inscrutable woman, you just happen to live with her arch nemesis, and- you’re- we’re- you know, we’re...” Charlotte gestured between herself and Razzle, flushing, as his smile widened, “and you know, I’m her best friend.”

“Guys, are you buying food or what?” The concierge asks; a tired-looking kid Charlotte recognises from Tommy’s year. She hops forward, ordering food, and waiting for it to be prepared, all while standing by Razzle’s side, his chin on her should as they watch the preview trailers. He’s behind her, warm and solid and grounding, which is exactly what she needs as her cousin’s beat-up excuse of a car screeches into the lot, almost spraying gravel thanks to his sharp turn into the first available space. 

“Oh god, oh fucking hell,” Charlotte breathes, clenching her eyes tightly shut, “if you see a blonde-haired, six-foot stick-insect, who looks like he’d cheat on his girlfriend,” she starts, whole face scrunching with frustration, “and-or Nikki fucking Sixx, well, that would be about right; that feels like how tonight would go,” she lets out a long, frustrated breath, and she feels Razzle lift his chin from her shoulder right as he makes a noise of confusion.

“Tommy just arrived,” she clarified.

“Oh?”

“And we kind of got into an argument yesterday.”

“Oh.”

Charlotte’s name is called and she collects the bucket of popcorn she’d ordered for the pair of them, and Razzle picks up their drinks, heading back to the car as the movie opens. 

“You wanna talk about whatever’s going on with you and that Drummer Boy?” Razzle asks as they’re settling in the back seat together. Charlotte’s detaching the front seat’s headrests with possibly too much vigour, but declines, despite the frustration written all over her face. Razzle keeps a careful hold on the drinks that he’d thought were safe to balance on the centre console as Charlotte foisted herself over the back seat to pull the blankets she’d packed from the trunk. 

“You sure?” Razzle tried again, still with one hand nervously keeping the drinks in place, the other firmly holding their bucket of popcorn out of harm’s way. With a blanket securely bundled in her arms, Charlotte gives him a flat look, that quickly disappears in the face of his genuine concern.

“No, Razz,” she sighed, “I’m just mad at myself for letting this, like, fester, you know? I should have apologised sooner,” she huffs a sigh, unfurling the blanket with far more care now, draping it across both of their laps. 

“You’ve a good heart, Miss Lee,” Razzle assures her, but Charlotte’s face scrunches reflexively at the nickname, having only ever associated it with Nikki Sixx’s dreadful attempts to hit on her.

“Thanks, but please don’t call me that,” Charlotte gives a strained little smile, but Razzle nods and takes it in stride, finally getting himself comfortable and sitting back against the seat, one arm draped across the back, the other holding the popcorn in his lap.

“No worries, Love; I could call you Charlie, but I always thought it sounded a bit weird coming from me,” Razzle is rambling as Charlotte settles against him, tucking herself up close to him, “had a mate back home called Charlie, but short for Charles; absolute cockhead,” he clicks his tongue as Charlotte can’t help but giggle, “I could always keep just calling you Love, but it’s not as personal, you know? And Charlotte... it’s a pretty name, but it would be like if you started calling me Nicholas, be a bit weird, don’t ya think?” He mused, and Charlotte’s eyes drifted from the opening scene of the movie, where a menacing looking knife-glove was being created, to Razzle’s face as he chattered away. 

“I could keep calling you Princess Charlie,” as he says that, he looks to her, and seems a little startled to see her looking back at him, “like the other day,” his voice is softer, eyes wide, roaming her face, as if trying to capture her fond expression in his memory forever.

“You wouldn’t imagine your friend Charlie from back home a tiara?” Charlotte’s voice is amused, as is her expression, and Razzle’s eyes crease in the corners as he smiles; his eyes as so blue, so honest.

“You’d be the only Princess Charlie in my life,” he assures, giving her shoulder a squeeze where his arm is wrapped around her, and Charlotte doesn’t even think about how they’re less than a minute into the movie before she’s kissing him. 

At least it gets her to stop thinking about Tommy. 

Honestly, it gets her to stop thinking about everyone and everything that isn’t Razzle in this car in this moment, which is fine for her, because her life is somehow currently a stupid, complicated mess of people and emotions, and Razzle is nice to her, and a damn good kisser, and gentle, and his hands are warm -

“Miss Lee, does the Declaration of Independence mean nothing to you?” Comes shouted through the wound-up window of the car, startling Charlotte, who’s been in Razzle’s lap with his lips on her neck, so much that she jumped, smacking the back of her head into the roof of the car. Razzle reached out for her, expression concerned and lips kiss-bruised, as Charlotte held her head, wincing. Looking to the window, however, she could see Nikki Sixx pressing his face to the glass, looking altogether unsightly, with Lola a few feet behind him, drawing something in the gravel with the toe of her shoe. 

Assholes!

“I’m gonna kill him,” Charlotte says with deadly calm the moment she understands the situation, though Razzle seems to have anticipated this, and has his hands on her thighs, keeping her secure in his firm grip.

“No,” Razzle says, voice equally as calm, his gaze focused on Charlotte, and not on Nikki who had put his open mouth on the window, puffed out his cheeks, and proceeded to lick the glass. Charlotte scrunches her expression for a moment, internal debate raging between her desire to stay in the car with Razzle, and her need to beat the ever-loving shit out of Nikki Sixx for being a smartass.

“I’m gonna crack the window and inch and tell him to fuck off,” Charlotte says, looking back to Razzle, who was wearing an expression of faint amusement, and his grip became a little less firm. Reaching over, she wound down the window an inch. Immediately, Nikki looked through the gap, cheek still pressed to the window as his gaze darted around the cabin of the car, no longer obscured by the window tint. 

“I’m surprised you know what the Declaration of Independence is,” Charlotte said, tone icy as she moved to sit next to Razzle. 

“Honestly I stole that line from Lola,” Nikki admitted, and upon hearing her name, even faintly, Lola joins them, thankfully not pressing herself to the window, instead standing close to Nikki, her hip by his, hands in her jacket pockets. 

“Were they doing it?” Lola asks far too casually, almost too quiet for Charlotte and Razzle to hear, though they do, and both blush, even as Nikki pulls back, making a face. 

“No,” Charlotte calls back, and Lola’s expression turns smug as she holds out her hand, making a ‘hand it over’ gesture to Nikki, only for him to begrudgingly hand over a five dollar note. 

“Shoulda waited ‘til the end of the movie to ask,” Lola’s grin stretched wider, even as Charlotte tried to splutter a protest, and Razzle had to press his face against her shoulder to muffle his laugh at the whole situation.

“Why are you assholes here?” Charlotte hissed; strangely, Lola’s expression fell, and she stepped back again, adding more to her gravel drawing with her shoe, not looking at the car. 

“We’re at the drive in because I’ve heard this is a good movie,” Nikki goes back to staring at them through the inch crack in the window, “and we’re here-” his tone turns proud while his smile turns sharp as he taps his nail against the glass, “because we’re trying to give Tommy and Heather privacy,” he all but sings. There’s... a lot to unpack there, however before Charlotte can process any of it, Lola grab’s Nikki by the elbow, pulling him away.

“Come on, I didn’t take a night off to talk to people I can see every day, did you bring weed or not?” She insisted, tone frustrated leading him towards the concierge stand. Something about it had Charlotte’s heart sinking, even as Razzle’s still chuckling and confused about what was going on, Charlotte’s heart was sinking. 

Tommy had driven Nikki and Lola - and Heather? What? - to the drive in. Tommy and Lola had almost definitely spoken about the fight Charlotte and Tommy had had, which means Lola almost definitely knew what Charlotte had said. 

“Everything okay, Princess?” Razzle had asked gently, his arm around her once more as Charlotte had buried her face in her hands. 

“My whole life is fucked,” Charlotte muttered, and Razzle pulled her in close to him. Her legs bridge over his thighs, and he’s holding her close with both arms, keeping her warm and secure, and Charlotte takes a moment, then another, then a third, to take comfort. 

She’s going to miss this. Going to miss him. Fuck, she can’t think like that, can’t keep reminding herself of the time limit on their friendship, the reason she’s scared to call it anything more. 

Everything is fucked, but this one moment, how Razzle was holding her close, devoid of it’s context, it was pretty damn great.

a friend will help you move. a best friend will help you move bodies. but if you have to move your best friend's body, you're on your own

Charlotte goes to see Tommy on Saturday morning, but when she gets there, he’s not home. 

“He’s at a movie~ with a girl~!” Athena sings, when Charlotte asks, and Charlotte, confused and concerned, looked to her aunt, Tommy’s mother, who gave a kind smile and nod of confirmation. 

“He was so nervous and excited, spent a long time doing his hair just right,” she giggled fondly, pride in her voice, but Charlotte’s heart was in her throat. Had what she said somehow guilted Lola into dating her cousin? That could only end badly for both of them, oh fuck -

Except when she bursts into Leo’s at eleven, after most of the breakfast diners had vacated, and the lunch rush was still about half an hour away, Lola was standing behind the counter... with Peach? Teaching her how to fold silverware in napkins correctly? 

“Do you know... do know that thing where you fold it into a swan?” Peach asks, giggling, right as one of the other kind-faced staff members approaches Charlotte and asks her how many people she’d like a table for. Lola instinctually looks to the door, and Peach catches on a moment later, and suddenly both girls behind the counter are frowning in Charlotte’s direction. Lola mutters something to Peach that’s too quiet for Charlotte to hear, and the younger redhead immediately takes the silverware they’ve already wrapped, going around and dispensing it amongst each table’s silverware holder. Peach is in uniform. 

“I just...” Charlotte’s voice is soft, while her gaze is locked with Lola’s, brushing past the host who’d greeted her, “I need to talk to Lola.” The host looks over his shoulder at Lola, who looks his way for the barest moment and gives half a shrug. The kid backs off, looking past Charlotte to the street outside to see if anyone else was coming in after her, and upon seeing no-one, he heads back to the counter. 

“Hey Peach,” Charlotte says as the redhead slides past her to get to another table. Peach doesn’t even look at her when she gives a flat greeting in response. 

“How can I help you?” Lola’s painfully sweet customer-service voice hurts more than any sarcastic remark she could have come up with, and it’s eating Charlotte alive to know what Tommy told her, what Lola thinks Charlotte thinks of her to make her act so hostile. The way she’s smiling so widely coupled with her dead-eyed stare is unnerving. 

“Keola!” It comes as a shock when a firm voice comes from the kitchen, and Lola practically jumps from her skin. Looking to the source, Charlotte sees the face of the man she’s only ever seen the back of in the kitchen, taller than anyone else in the restaurant, and he looks like Lola.

“What?” Lola hisses, surprising Charlotte, and the man looks to Charlotte, giving her a warm, friendly smile, before he answers.

“If you need to talk to,” and the man pauses, tipping his head a little as he looks to Charlotte, “Charlie?” And Charlotte, kind of confused and nervous as to how he knows her name, nods in confirmation, “you can take your break, okay? Water, fresh air, outside -” and without waiting for a confirmation, he calls the kid who had greeted Charlotte to come and take Lola’s place at the counter, as Lola begrudgingly grabs a bottle of water from beneath the counter, and storms out from behind the counter, past Charlotte to the door. 

Charlotte, a little terrified, looks to the man, who gives another bright smile.

“Sorry we haven’t properly met, I’m Leo, glad to finally meet you, Charlie,” and immediately everything makes total and complete sense, and Charlotte nervously greets him, and takes off after Lola, who had disappeared down the street. 

[gingersnapwolves]

The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 3/6]

Part One: Sword Wizard School

Part Two:  The Search for the Yin Iron and the World’s Worst Summer Camp

Part Three: The Fall of Lotus Pier and the Sunshot Campaign

Here’s where it starts to get dark, folks. 

Ext, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng get back, and Wei Wuxian promptly collapses because they were in the cave for a week and then he walked all the way back to Yunmeng. He sleeps for three days. When he wakes up, Jiang Yanli gives him soup. Jiang Fengmian comes in to congratulate him for killing the evil CGI turtle snake. Wei Wuxian tries to say it wasn’t a big deal. Jiang Cheng tells him he only got it done because he was playing the hero, and Jiang Fengmian reprimands him for being a jerk.

Yu Ziyuan comes in and the two get in a big fight over how Jiang Fengmian treats the kids. Yu Ziyuan says people think Wei Wuxian is actually Jiang Fengmian’s son, and Jiang Fengmian gets pissy about it (which is fair since it insults both his friends). The two of them storm off. Jiang Cheng is upset because his father doesn’t even like him. Wei Wuxian tells him not to be so hard on himself and says he’ll beat up anyone who’s mean to Jiang Cheng, that he doesn’t want anyone to think he’s anyone’s son but his parents, and that he’ll always be Jiang Cheng’s right hand man. It’s super sweet honestly.

ENTER A USELESS MESS

Meet Sect Leader Yao. He’s super annoying and shows up occasionally to require exposition and give the characters an excuse to explain things to the audience. His sect just got attacked by the Wens and most of his people are dead.

This obviously ain’t cool so Jiang Fengmian goes to talk to the leader of the Lanling Jin about joining up to fight Wen Ruohan. He brings Jiang Yanli with him for some reason.

While he’s gone, Jiaojiao shows up to demand Wei Wuxian be punished for all the shit he did in Qishan. Yu Ziyuan is enraged at Wei Wuxian for upsetting the Wens, or possibly just at Wei Wuxian existing in general. She whips him with her cool lightning weapon and injures him badly, while Jiang Cheng begs her to stop. Jiaojiao says this isn’t good enough and demands they cut off Wei Wuxian’s hand.

It looks like Yu Ziyuan is going to do it, but then Jiaojiao pisses her off by telling her that once the Wen have taken over Yunmeng, Yu Ziyuan can help out by being their governor or whatever. Yu Ziyuan gets pissed and starts beating the shit out of Jiaojiao. It’s really satisfying.

Wen Zhuliu shows up. He clearly has some history with Yu Ziyuan, because he calls her ‘Violet Spider’ and she calls him ‘Core-Melting Hand’. A rarepair is born.

All hell breaks loose. Jiaojiao signals their troops. Yu Ziyuan takes both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian and throws them in a boat, and then ties them up with her lightning whip. She tells Wei Wuxian to protect Jiang Cheng with his life, which he would undoubtedly do anyway, blames him for everything that’s happened, and tells him she hates him. Then she starts the boat going down the river.

They’re still struggling to get free when they run into Jiang Fengmian coming back. Rather than release them, he ties Jiang Yanli in with them and goes to the defense of Lotus Pier. He also tells Wei Wuxian to protect Jiang Cheng with his life. They really want to drive this point home.

Int, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

Yu Ziyuan has killed like a hundred guys all by herself. It’s awesome. Jiang Fengmian shows up and charges to her rescue and promptly gets killed. Great job, Jiang Fengmian. Yu Ziyuan sees that they’ve lost and kills herself rather than be taken prisoner.

Ext, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng have gotten back to find that their parents are dead along with most of their sect members. It sucks. They run away, which is honestly the most sensible thing to do.

Int, an inn [Yunmeng]

Jiang Yanli is sick. Jiang Cheng is shell-shocked. Wei Wuxian goes to get them food and medicine. When he returns, Jiang Cheng is gone. He gives the medicine to Jiang Yanli and tells her to stay there until he can get Jiang Cheng and get back.

Int, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

Wei Wuxian is looking for Jiang Cheng. He grabs a random Wen and starts to choke them to steal their uniform, only to realize it’s Wen Ning. He asks Wen Ning if he was involved and Wen Ning says no, he heard that Wei Wuxian was in trouble and decided to commit a little light treason. He offers to get Jiang Cheng out.

Ext, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

Wen Ning puts a bunch of drugs in the party punch. Wen Zhuliu sniffs it and clearly detects shenanigans. Wen Chao tells him to stop being a pussy and drink. Wen Zhuliu decides that if his boss wants him to pass out on company time that’s okay by him, so he drinks.

Wei Wuxian is waiting in a boat. Wen Ning comes back with Jiang Cheng, who is badly injured, and the magic lightning whip. He offers to take them to his sister’s house in Yiling so they can lay low.

Ext, Yiling Supervisory House [Yiling]

Wen Qing is understandably a little miffed that her brother decided to commit treason without checking with her first. But in for a penny, in for a pound, she patches Jiang Cheng up and hides them in her living room or something.

Jiang Cheng wakes up the next day and is basically a shell of a person. Wen Zhuliu, it turns out, has the ability to crush someone’s golden core, which is where they keep their spiritual power, so they can’t cultivate any longer. Think of it like cutting off a Jedi’s connection to the force. He’s lost his will to live and lies there like a dead thing for like two full episodes. No judgment.

Wei Wuxian starts reading every book Wen Qing owns in an effort to find a way to cure Jiang Cheng, despite this being said to be impossible. He finds one. She tells him not to do it because of the sacrifice that’s involved. He remains committed.

For some reason, Song Lan shows up. (Batman from earlier.) Xue Yang attacked his temple. He was blinded and has been wandering. Xiao Xingchen took him to see Baoshan Sanren, a famous cultivator in the mountains. She does not run a sect but will occasionally take on students. Xiao Xingchen was one and so was Wei Wuxian’s mother. Song Lan’s eyes are getting better.

Wei Wuxian tells Jiang Cheng that they’re going to go see Baoshan Sanren, who he knows because of her connection to his mother, and that she’ll restore his golden core. They ask Song Lan to take Jiang Yanli to Koi Tower (Lanling) so the Jin sect can keep her safe. He agrees.

 Ext, a random mountain [Yiling]

Jiang Cheng goes up the mountain blindfolded. Wei Wuxian tells him to say his name is Wei Wuxian and ask Baoshan Sanren to restore his golden core.

Ext, a random town [Yiling]

Look, I’m gonna be honest with y’all. What happened between these two scenes is something that I figured out as it was happening, and I was never aware it was supposed to be a ~big reveal~ later. My wife likewise figured it out and treated it as fact. When it’s revealed later it’s a big deal to Jiang Cheng, but it wasn’t a big deal to us. However I’ve seen some people talking about how they didn’t figure it out until then, so I thought maybe I shouldn’t say what happened. But then I thought, this is just a summary, if you cared about spoilers you wouldn’t be reading this, and it’s much easier to explain what happens going forward if you know.

So, on that note, Wei Wuxian cut out his own golden core and gave it to Jiang Cheng. Or actually Wen Qing did the procedure. So now he has no golden core and can’t cultivate. Which sucks because he immediately gets captured by the Wens. He taunts Wen Chao, who decides not to kill him because he might become an angry ghost. Instead, they throw him into the Burial Mounds.

Ext, The Burial Mounds [Yiling]

A big battle happened here and it’s full of dead bodies and restless spirits. Cultivators have tried over the centuries to clean it up, but nobody who goes in ever comes out. Wei Wuxian lands in the middle of this mess and it sucks.

The creepy sword he’s been carrying in a spirit pouch asks if he wants revenge. Turns out he does. It’s super hot.

Ext, everywhere [everywhere]

Everyone is hella pissed that Lotus Pier was sacked. (I guess it was fine when it was Cloud Recesses for some reason.) The four great sects (or what remains of them) band together to fight Wen Ruohan. We see shots of lots of people looking badass. The mission to overthrow Wen Ruohan is dubbed The Sunshot Campaign.

Ext, the Indoctrination Bureau [Qishan]

It’s been three months. A bunch of nobodies are yukking it up that Wen Chao killed Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji comes out of nowhere and forces them all to kneel. It’s super hot. They admit to him and Jiang Cheng that Wei Wuxian was thrown into the Burial Mounds. Obviously this makes him very unhappy.

But on the plus side, they get their swords back. Yay! The disciple offers Wei Wuxian’s sword to Lan Wangji even though Jiang Cheng, who is Wei Wuxian’s brother and sect leader, is literally standing right there, so clearly everyone knows they’re married.

Ext, the Unclean Realm [Qinghe]

Everyone’s coming to Qinghe to discuss the final campaign. Wen Xu is now dead despite having never made another appearance, killed by Nie Mingjue.

Jiang Cheng reunites with Jiang Yanli, who has been in Lanling this whole time. She didn’t even know Wei Wuxian was missing and she’s pretty upset to hear about it.

They have a battle strategy meeting. Lan Wangji asks if he can go kick some ass in Yiling, and Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng to go ahead.

Nie Mingjue asks Jin Zixuan how Meng Yao is doing in Lanling, having assumed (for some reason) (actually the reason is from book canon but didn’t translate to the show very well) that Meng Yao would have gone there. Jin Zixuan tells Nie Mingjue that Meng Yao didn’t go to Lanling, and that even if he did, his father would not have welcomed him. Nie Mingjue appears upset, possibly regretting that he exiled Meng Yao over one measly murder.

Ext, Yiling Supervisory House [Yiling]

Wen Chao and Jiaojiao are having a great time until a mysterious man dressed all in black shows up and uses a mysterious flute to drive everyone there insane and kill most of them. Wen Chao only escapes because Wen Zhuliu rescues him.

The next day, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng show up, view the carnage, and say ‘well that ain’t good’.

Jiang Cheng finds Wen Qing imprisoned in the basement. She doesn’t know where Wen Ning was taken. She thanks him for the rescue and says they’re even now. He gives her the comb he bought for her back in the first arc. Or actually he just sets it on the table because he’s bad at romance. We don’t see whether or not she takes it.

Int, an inn [Yiling]

Wen Chao is totally nuts and freaking the fuck out. Wen Zhuliu is trying to get him to calm down long enough to treat his injuries, while mentally updating his resume again.

A mysterious man in black shows up with a flute and summons a demon or three.

Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, who have been tracking Wen Chao, show up in time to hop up to the roof and look through a convenient window to see what’s happening. It’s revealed that the mysterious man in black is *drum roll please* Wei Wuxian! He is super hot.

Wei Wuxian is doing absolutely fine with the murdering but Jiang Cheng jumps in anyway, using the lightning whip to kill Wen Zhuliu, which, props to Jiang Cheng. Wen Chao cowers in a corner.

Jiang Cheng asks Wei Wuxian where the hell he’s been, returns his sword, and hugs him, and your tears are ‘what the hell I thought this was a silly show about sword wizards’. Wei Wuxian has clearly forgotten what hugs are. It’s sad.

Lan Wangji ruins the moment by demanding why Wei Wuxian is using seriously evil magic to kill people. Wei Wuxian says ‘you can’t tell me what to do, mom’, which does not help the situation at all. He and Jiang Cheng murder Wen Chao while Lan Wangji stands outside looking messed up about it.

  Ext, the Unclean Realm [Qinghe]

Wei Wuxian is reunited with Jiang Yanli and shit I’m crying again.

Jiang Yanli’s worried about the evil magic. She talks to Lan Wangji, who tells her that it sure is evil and Wei Wuxian shouldn’t be doing it because it will corrupt his mind and temperament.

Everyone wants to know why Wei Wuxian isn’t carrying his sword. He blows them off. (It’s because he can’t use it, since he’s not a cultivator anymore.)

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian manage to use their words for exactly one (1) scene. Lan Wangji says ‘let me help you’ and Wei Wuxian says ‘okay’ and then promptly spends the next ten episodes not letting Lan Wangji help him.

Int, the Unclean Realm [Qinghe]

There’s another battle strategy meeting. They discuss the fact that they need something that can counter Wen Ruohan’s yin iron. Wei Wuxian says ‘I’m working on it’ and then refuses to give them any details and leaves, which is super rude, my dude.

Lan Xichen is getting information from a mole in Wen Ruohan’s troops. Nie Mingjue asks where it’s coming from and Lan Xichen beats around the bush.

Wei Wuxian wanders off to have a PTSD breakdown.

  Ext, somewhere I don’t remember

Jin Zixuan is a jerk to Jiang Yanli. It’s about soup. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Wei Wuxian loses his temper even though it’s stupid and nearly evil magics Jin Zixuan and a bunch of guys to death. Lan Wangji tells him to chill.

Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]

They’ve fought their way to Nightless City! Now all they have to deal with is that Wen Ruohan has like a zillion zombie puppets. It goes as badly as you would expect.

Int, Nightless City [Qishan]

Somewhere along the way, Nie Mingjue had the brilliant plan to sneak in and assassinate Wen Ruohan during the chaos of the battle, despite the fact that Nie Mingjue is akin to a rhinoceros and does not sneak. He is immediately captured along with a bunch of his guys.

Meng Yao is here! He has big ‘look how much better I’ve been doing after the divorce’ energy. He kills a few of Nie Mingjue’s guys and then taunts him about how much he sucks.

Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]

Despite the fact that it took Wei Wuxian three seconds to summon evil spirits over his sister’s hurt feelings, he stands around for like twenty minutes watching every non-main-character get murdered before he’s like “oh, right, the creepy sword I have was yin iron all along” and he’s made it into an amulet which enhances his power. He seizes control of Wen Ruohan’s zombies and makes them all kill each other. He is super hot.

Wen Ruohan stops murdering Nie Mingjue when he realizes this is happening and goes out to see what’s going on. He and Wei Wuxian, who is still super hot, have a brief exchange before Meng Yao fucking stabs Wen Ruohan in the back like a badass motherfucker.

Wei Wuxian passes out which seems reasonable.

Int, Nightless City [Qishan]

Nie Mingjue is pissed. Lan Xichen quickly explains that Meng Yao is the one who was undercover and was passing information back to him the whole time. Nie Mingjue points out that Meng Yao killed his men. Lan Xichen points out that Meng Yao had to, because he didn’t want to blow his cover. Nie Mingjue begrudgingly accepts this explanation.

Turns out that when Lan Xichen was fleeing the Wen sect burning down Cloud Recesses, he ran into Meng Yao, who headed to Gusu after leaving Qinghe because Wen Chao told them that Wen Xu was going to attack it. Meng Yao saved Lan Xichen’s life, and with this paragraph, a hundred fanfics were born.

  ~end part 3~

[solange-lol]

hiii in celebration of AUctober, what are some of your fav solangelo AUs?

Anonymous said to solange-lol:

Hi! Kinda a random question: do you have any favorite riordanverse fanfics that you’d suggest reading? I’m looking for ones to read, but I’ve been having trouble finding new ones! Thanks!

rec list #1 | rec list #2

all recs can be found under the tag ‘lizs solangelo fic recs’ on my blog!

technically its past auctober now, but better late then never to drop my third solangelo rec list!! especially considering the state of the world rn ... lets just say its a celebration of me actually participating in sw for the first time in a while

rec under cut as always!! its not all aus but its the count that thots

Find Another Place to Stay by @unwieldyink

personally i think breakup fics are incredibly underrated, and i also think annie is incredibly underrated, so enjoy ur little cry if you read this one (tw // violence in this one)

Hershey’s kiss by @unwieldyink

we love a godswap!! it’s actually been a while since ive read this one and i reread this while making this rec list and can i just say that zeus!nico and hermes!will are both such valid concepts and this just has a rly good dynamic to it

Actors by @buoyantsaturn

i could talk about this fic for hours but lets just say ao3 has told me ive visted this fic 40 times. im not kidding. fake dating is just a godtier trope

start of something new by jinniefic

if you know me, you know that i fricken LOVE high school musical, and this is literally just the start of the first movie but solangelo and honestly a little more iconic please read even if ur not a hsm fan

paper/plastic by @rosyredlipstick

the fact that this is from 2018 and took this long to get into my rec list is tragic because i think about this fic a lot... a lot. mortal au. very chill, strangers to lovers, very good vibes, will be rereading soon (everything rosy writes is amazing we already knew this)

10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn

surprise another cj fic! fun fact she debated with us for a good half hour about what to title this fic so go read it so you can tell her you like the name (and the fic itself... its a very good fic) (tw // alchohol and drug use for this one)

Sunflower by ChiseHatori

3 days in the infirmary is probably the easiest trope u can find in the solangelo tag but i have to say this one really made me soft just bc it feels a lot more in character than some of the others ive read, and it basically picks up right where they ended in the books

Will You, or Will You Not? by @thebluesideofmyworld

marriage fics... also very soft. just boys bein boys. dual engagements. mortal au. all that good stuff vv soft i loved it

let your heart win by @justanothervampiregirl

this one is short but its also probably one of the most in character fics ive ever read and i really like this style of writing mixed with canon compliance so :)

The Magic of Naomi Solace by Sweetymomo

naomi solace, underratted legend. i aspire to have her relationship with will. lots of familial background if you like that!! and its set at a bnb!!

forget all the shooting stars and silver moons by itotallyreadthatbook

when i saw this in the tag i was SO excited bc we love high school aus here and it was!! very good indeed!! this trope is one ive never seen before and i recommend 10/10 good banter

They won’t always live by Phantomxlegend

will overworking himself and coping with loss always makes me :(( so if ur okay with some will angst then buckle up

“I am fully capable of kicking your ass” by @unwieldyink

i remember i saw the email notification for this one and immediately was like yup absolutely im in and it 100% lives up to its title we love capture the flag solangelo

the night we met by peachyytomlinson

a lil ooc but also very angsty and did make me emotional when i read this late at night. i think i wrote something similar a while back but i just aaaaa will angst man

“look how hard i can cry FWSHHH”  by @buoyantsaturn

call me biased bc i like to claim that i originated the idea of demeter!will and cj dedicated this fic to me but like BRO its so soft and i love it here nico leave the plants along challenge failed

femboy hooters, or the time percy jackson failed to keep a secret by luciethebean

its all fun and games until the fic turns out to genuinely be really good. like, yes the title is exactly what you think it is but it doesnt matter bc its so fricken well written im^@*#&(*)($_$#&^@$(@*)* yeah

Of Ties and Significant Annoyances by seokjinvilla (@thechampagnecocainegasoline)

we dont support jkr in this household but what we do support is this bc this plot is genius and i love it

everything’s going swimmingly by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

fun fact i posed the idea of a sports/team prompt to the sw mod crew literally just so someone would pull through and write a swim au and ethan DID without even knowing. i love them and their writing style is so !!!! please read it

when you smile (the whole world stops) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

another ethan fic!! this is the perfect fic for a rough day where u just want some cuddles bc thats literally the plot of the fic. i love this one with my entire heart its very fluffy 10/10 do reccomend

pumpkin spice (i hate it, it's not nice) (ok maybe it's a little nice) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

ethan fic part 3!! bc i binge read these all in one night!! literally again their writing style is so amazing and the witty banter!!!! also we love a retail bookstore au 

Burnt Plastic (and Other Bad Ideas) by More_of_This

so this one isnt exactly romantically solangelo but it is hilarious in my opinion and i absolutely adore well written college aus and while i know nothing about college this fic is so funny to me (if you read the tags there is, in fact, a raccoon involved) (tw // drinking for this one)

all because you kissed me goodnight by @buoyantsaturn

i have been WAITING for a mortal counselors au and im sure theres some out there already but y’all already know im a cj stan! lots of slowburn, friends to lovers, coworkers, all the good stuff (and i named this one and offered cj a lot of materials from my own camp so this one especially hits!! i reccomend for those good ol summer vibes!!) (tw // drinking for this one)

Waiting With You by @buoyantsaturn

oh boy buckle up if u want an angst ride because this fic tore me apart. i keep threatning cj with “dont pull another waiting with you”. that being said, very much feels like a movie while youre reading it, very fluffy in the middle, we love mutual pining. 

Little Italian Boy by @buoyantsaturn

stream little italian boy by grace gilmore. youll get it. thats it.

The Clues by @thebluesideofmyworld

secret dating when done well is legit one of my favorite tropes of all time and this!!! this!!!!!!!!! its outsiders perspective also which is another one of my favorite tropes, and just little views on nicos life and i love it

So Come On, Talk it Out (your voice brought me back from the dead) by @buoyantsaturn

will solace, sponsered by kitkats, cj edition

no but if you read tower of nero you’ll really like this missing pieces pre-ton fic this is a really soft little fic with a bunch of easter eggs from the book in it, so i highly recommend! if you havent read ton yet and are still avoiding spoilers, come back to this one!

reaching for the sun (you, you, you) by moonswords (@tortadelimao)

i just read this one about 2 hours ago for the first time and i am Still thinking about it. its like the getting together that i literally feel like is canon and the vibes are Immaculate (also william “what about me looks straight” solace)

“Are we on a date right now?” by @unwieldyink

overworked will, nico helping out in the infirmary, first dates & hikes, canon compliant, we love to see it (also its an annie fic so ur required by law to read it)

Outrunning karma by Phantomxlgend 

more will angst! featuring angry overworked will!

Everlasting Ring by minyoongurt (@blueblackslowtown)

i was Very excited when i read the summary of this one, and i think minyoongurt did a really good job!! healer will, injured nico, the whole dynamic. also i love the idea of nico only knowing “thank you” “go away” and “fuck you” in sign language. im pretty sure thats canon

The Little Thing by Rainbow_Mess

i belive this is also a pre-toa fic thats just exploring all the stuff we found out about will in ton and its very short and sweet :)

and of course, a few of my recent works for your consideration

who is he (and what is he to you?)

just doing my silly little tasks

i don’t need three bars to tell me we’re meant to connect

truly, madly, deeply

[seijohsfairy]

you’ve been in love with kuroo tetsuro for years, silently supporting from the sidelines. it’s where you feel comfortable, felt- comfortable. so now that kuroo finds out you’re his most loyal fan?

.wordc. 9.5k tw manipulation, degradation!, corruption, bullying, dubcon/noncon, coercion, yandere kuroo, fingering, oral, Kuroo is on the world’s biggest ego trip

.author’s note. I finally finished this monster after struggling for so long ( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥) inspired by fanatic by @/jackrrabbit​. if you want to read an amazing bullying smut, it’s seriously perfection

+

An obsession. If someone asked, you’d never call it that. An appreciation of the sport maybe, or of the hard work and dedication of the players. But an obsession might’ve been more accurate, as you have been a fan for years now. At least you can admit it to yourself. Not a day goes by where you forget to think about volleyball, and more in particular, him. It’s not your fault it makes you so happy… It’s not at all, and yet—

You’re able to watch the young men through the open doors of the gym, the resounding bangs of spikes flattening against the polished floor filling the building. You huff out in the afternoon sun and hide under the sun-bleached, red parasol as best you can, before wiping a bead of sweat from your temple. Soon everyone will be pouring out of the classrooms, which brings a smile to your face. But for now, you spare another look inside the bright hall, following the red jerseys as they move swiftly around the court. The speed at which the balls connect with the floor have always impressed you, but your eyes are instead on the middle of the group, tracing the number one mindlessly.

“Senpai, are you alright?” your junior squeaks out. You flinch in surprise at her question, almost dropping the drink you’re holding in the process. Her short brown hair sticks to her face where a wide-eyed expression marks it, though a small, unsure smile stays in place. You quickly bring out a laugh though, waving off her concern.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry,” you put down the glass can and press your cool fingers to your forehead, smiling, “the heat just makes it hard to actually pay attention. Could you repeat that, please?”

“I’m just so glad you suggested this, s’all!” she beams, putting the last of the lemonade out on the table, each can in between ice packs. They’re already dripping, coming summertime close to unbearable. “My big brother always talks about the fanclub at home and that other teams don’t have a fanclub near as good as ours!” You smile at her while you pour chunks of ice into the white wine, putting it out too. The entire table is decorated with the team colors, flyers to one side, donation jar and cash register on the other, with all the drinks, ice pops and watermelon slices in the middle.

You even made all of the small, red cat charms that hang from the parasol yourself. A bit overkill perhaps, but no effort really feels big enough when you’re as dedicated to a team as you are, even if it’s embarrassing to say. But well… you’d do just about anything to support Nekoma and the man you’ve been crushing on for years now. While you peer up at the windows of the classrooms, mentally keeping track of just how much longer you’d have to wait for the rest of the fanclub to join you, you miss the proud look the younger girl sends your way. Yui, the libero’s younger sister, pulls her hair up in a tiny ponytail. “You must be so proud since you started it all by yourself.”

You look back down at her, flushing. “Of course I am proud of the fanclub, but I’m even more proud of our team. Y’know, I’ve been watching some of them since middle school and they all seem to enjoy it so much. It makes me want to support them in any way I can.” You’ve taken the requests of the team to heart to the best of your ability. Hopefully you can sell a lot, they’d really need new cleaning equipment and some of the shorts and jerseys could definitely be replaced with new ones.

“Of course Nekoma’s angel would say that,” a voice giggles, the black haired girl strolling up behind you. All the others walk close behind, right when the bell indicating the last class rings. The rest of the fanclub waves politely, many of the girls with their own healthy flush. “Make some space, Mrs. Kuroo, everyone will be getting out in a minute or so.” You give the other third-year a little poke in her side, looking down at the menu as you pick at the corner of the laminated sheet. It’s so silly, but the nickname makes you all warm inside. How nice it would be to actually be… well. You shouldn’t think so far ahead, or not ahead at all, since Kuroo Tetsuro has absolutely zero interest in you. The overflowing amount of love you have for him isn’t making up for anything.

“Don’t call me Mrs. Kuroo. It’s embarrassing,” you tell the raven-haired girl, glancing back inside the hall for just a moment to watch as said man gulps down his water, sweat drenching his hairline and dripping down his chin. “Even if I like it, he doesn’t know I exist.” Some of the girls coo at your admission, all of them at least aware that you’ve looked up to the Captain for years. Your friend sends you a knowing look, before cracking her fingers and getting to work on the cash register. She’s been trying to get you to say something for months, and with the last few weeks of high school growing closer and closer, you can’t even blame her.

But what would you even say to the guy you’ve crushed on for so long? After all, you’ve been in his class for three years now and he never once spoke to you directly either. He’d probably be creeped out by your dedication to him. Before you can think of any more, bunches of students start pouring out of the buildings, looking tired out by the day. When they see your stand, many of them light up, already taking out their wallets to get some cool lemonade. You clap your hands and look at the girls surrounding you, before nodding. “Alright, let’s do this! We’re going to sell everything out today. Yui, you get that side?” You turn to the first few customers and put on your best smile, handing them a menu. “Welcome to the Neko Outdoor Café! Would you like a drink?”

///

“Captain!” Yamamoto calls, pout more pronounced with each passing second. “Please let us take a break. Please.” He’s about to get on his knees and beg. “Come on, man. I need this.”

The raven haired man just lifts a brow in his direction, before turning his attention back to the bench so he can tie his shoelaces properly. “Shut up, you’re being noisy.” He doesn’t care to ask what the guy is on about, already more than annoyed at having to practice in this sweltering heat. Every movement feels slower than usual, it’s pissing him off.

“They’re going to sell out and leave, Captain!” the other tries again, tugging at the edge of Kuroo’s jersey like a child. In fact, he looks like he might burst into tears. The Captain ignores him.

“I’m sure they’re keeping some extras for us,” Yaku tries, smacking Lev’s hand away from his water bottle and downing the last of it.

Kenma hums. “You know they wouldn’t leave us with nothing, they’re all so thoughtful.” The setter is already trying to soothe a teary-eyed Yamamoto, while Kuroo straightens out to wipe himself down with a towel. “They probably have a whole pack of ice lollies stored away for after practice. Our cheer squad leader wouldn’t be caught dead forgetting about anyone.” At the mention of your name, the Captain frowns, the sound unfamiliar. “She even remembered to bring some mango for me last time, and I don’t even remember telling her I don’t like watermelon that much.”

“Who now?” Kuroo frowns. He pokes out his tongue to wet his lips, following his team’s gazes to outside the gym, where rows of students are lining up. He can just see the edge of a red table, curiosity peaked.

Kenma’s face blanks when he looks over at his long time friend. “The leader of the fanclub? She’s been to every one of our matches since like… eighth grade or something. How have you never noticed her?” Some of the boys turn to him in confusion too. Kuroo crosses his arms over his chest, before chewing on his answer. It’s not that he ignores anyone on purpose. But your name doesn’t ring a bell, neither does the description.

“Pretty sure she really likes you, too,” Lev suddenly says, getting up from his spot on the floor to bound closer to the door to watch past it. “She always wears clothes with the number 1 and your name on it. She’s very nice, she bought me chocolate milk after our last game.” He stares out the door for a moment longer, before perking up and waving for his older teammates’ attention. “Ooh ooh, she has ice creams for us, she’s calling. Can we please take a break, Captain?”

Everyone turns to the third year. Even Kenma is giving him an unspoken question with his expression. “Fine, whatever,” Kuroo just sighs, giving into their antics. “But after that we’re getting back to spike training and you better all jump higher than I’ve ever seen you jump.”

While waiting in line, he asks to point you out. You’re busy smiling at every single student that comes by, colored shadow falling over you because of the sun shade that is just as red as the rest of the table. Just as red as your flushed face, and as red as the shirt that you’re wearing with his name on it. You look kind, with a childlike joy on your face, innocent in the way you beam out warmth. And after staring at you for a while, you do start to look a bit familiar. Huh. So this is what his biggest fan looks like. He’s not let down, not exactly, though he does wish that you’d focus less on the lemonade and more on him as he waits in line with the rest of the team. But it’s understandable, you’re just trying your best. Even he can see that.

Suddenly, you look up from the cash register, having been shoved in the side with an elbow by your friend and in the split second he catches your eyes, he can see several emotions flash in them. The last one before you look away is definitely wide-eyed mortification though. You look away from him and turn to your friend, whispering something in her ear as your cheeks grow red-hot. You blank at her answer, before biting your lip. It’s strange, but something in the things you do are cute to him. How you nervously toy with the edge of your shirt. How you try to keep your eyes on the ground but glance back every so often anyway. How you put on a smile. You must really, truly like him. And he can’t say he doesn’t like at least that. That innocent expression on your face is to die for. Really.

After a minute or so, you seem to gather your wits and look up to walk from behind the stall. “Guys, you don’t have to wait in line. Come up here,” you wave them over, not looking at him at all. Somehow, this only makes him giddier, wanting to see you flush even harder. Maybe you’d pass out if he talked to you. Maybe you’d cry. Would you even be able to handle it if he got any closer? The smirk that clings to his lips is one of ego-filled happiness, he can’t help himself. Something about you makes him feel like he’d be able to break you with the slightest of pressure, and though he’s never quite wanted to control someone like that, he can’t say it doesn’t feel exhilarating.

Everyone moves out of the one line to skip to the front, as you busy yourself by glancing under the tables to pull out an extra cooler, opening it swiftly. That way your skirt pulls up insanely high, though you try to keep it down with one hand. Oblivious to what you’re doing, surely. His cute, little fan. He’ll have to give you a lesson on proper manners, but not now. All in due time. When everyone starts thanking you, you just rub your neck, straightening back up.

“How much are they?” Kenma asks, “I’ll pay. Is it alright if I get the money to you after practice though?”

“No, no!” you beam, “they’re free for you guys! I could hardly let our own team pay for some stupid ice pops and lemonade.” You don’t hesitate to smile at Kenma. Kuroo holds his tongue from breaking into your conversation for now, instead taking one of the watermelon slices and biting into it. You seem to sink into yourself a bit when he turns back in your direction, almost as if you’re trying to disappear into the background entirely. Would be hard though, with that bright a shirt. “We also have wine if the adults want any,” you continue, shooting Kai and Yaku a guilty glance then and trailing off. “Though that might not be a good idea if you’re still practicing.”

You still have yet to look back at him, creating a void of something in the pit of his stomach. Why don’t you want to look at him as much as he wants to look at you? “Are there any strawberry pops?” Lev asks, probably aimed at you but Kuroo’s already taking a step towards you before you can answer.

This way you’re not able to ignore him any longer. Your eyes are so big and stunned when you glance up at him, tilting your head back just so you can look him in the face. There you are, he thinks. You pull a lip into your mouth, cheeks burning with color. Your chest heaving up and down, heart clearly pounding so hard he swears he can hear it. And Kuroo is living for it, the thrill of making you so affected by his presence undeniable. He wants to be the one to make you so flustered, wants to be the one to taint it too. He does know that’s probably not normal, but it’s so tempting. He smiles down at you, watching when your lips tremble softly. Cute. He softly calls out your name, grinning wider when you seem to mellow for a moment at the sound. “Did you do all this yourself?” he asks, enjoying the starstruck expression on your face.

You have to take a moment to get yourself back on track, clearly. Understandable. “Mhm,” you manage though, looking anywhere but him again when you realize you’re staring. “W-Well, everyone helped plan it, of course. I just made everything they planned out.”

“Yeah?” His smirk has yet to leave his face, but if it could grow any wider, now would be the time. You give a shy nod, looking back up at him for a moment. “The lemonade looks good. The watermelon’s good too.”

You’re practically glowing at his compliment, taking a step back to roll yourself back and forth on the balls of your feet. He wants to place his hands on your shoulders to keep you still, but really, you might just faint if he does so he holds himself back. “T-thank you s-so much! I’m glad you like it. I hope you’ll be able to use the funds well, but if you ever need anything else, you can always ask me,” you lift your shoulder and smile at him for just a moment, blush still raging on your face. You blank then, quickly adding, “or any of the other girls! We’re all here to support you, so… p-please keep working hard and doing your best a bit longer!” You’re stuttering like crazy too. He’ll have to work that out of you.

Before he can say anything else, someone calls for your name, so you quickly bow and rush back to your spot behind the stall. The girls giggle and poke at you, some of them hardly subtle in their whispering and cooing. And Kuroo smiles, because he might have just found something new to peak his interest.

///

You couldn’t have known. Not really. You couldn’t have known the full extent of his anger and definitely not how it would turn on you. So why does it feel like you made a horrible mistake? As you are sweeping the last of the hall, you hear the familiar, resounding echo of volleyballs smacking against the smooth surface. It’s a sound that’s long grown near and dear to your heart. Still, you put the brush to the side to make your way to the gym door where it stands swung open. It’s a Friday. The Nekoma team doesn’t play volleyball after school hours on Fridays. You frown as you peek around the cold, metal door into the otherwise vacant hall. As the class representative this term, you’re basically expected to be the last one here.

The man causing the constant butterflies in your stomach is facing away from you, frustration seeming to radiate off him in angry, black swirls as he throws balls against the wall, making continuous tosses to himself. You wait for a moment longer, glancing back into the school building as you debate your options. Though you were unable to watch the end of practice, you saw the beginning. Kuroo was anything but the collected player he normally is, the sight of it making your heart ache. Very hesitantly, you knock your knuckles against the metal. You rather wouldn’t be putting yourself in his proximity by choice, last time enough to make you so flushed and flustered you were stumbling all over your words.

Still though, you just want to help him. Maybe you could make him feel just a bit better. “Kuroo-san?” you try softly when he doesn’t react. He catches the ball at your call, pausing for a second. Then he turns to you. A shadow on his face, tall shape seeming to loom over you even from afar. You dig your nails into your own palms at the sharp glare that’s sent your way, his eyes flicking over your entire body, coming to rest back on your face. He doesn’t say anything, so you try to gather your courage and clear your voice, taking a step into the gym. “I- Sorry, I heard you still practicing. Are you- I mean- I don’t want to assume or anything, b-but- you don’t normally practice on Friday.”

The brief flicker of courage you had soon sinks deep within the pit of your chest as the silence continues. He bounces the ball on the floor once before catching it again, lifting one of his brows. Still with that gleam in his eyes, the one set off by the darkness cast around him. Then he sighs, and in a second his smile is plastered back on. The smile you’ve grown so used to seeing from afar, but it doesn’t feel quite right. It certainly doesn’t reach his eyes. It looks a bit off too, lopsided like he’s trying to convince himself to keep it up. “You— Ah, you’re the… fan club girl,” he nods. He tosses the ball up a few times, seemingly thinking, before he clicks his tongue. His deep voice resonates through the empty hall. “Yeah, sorry if I’m bothering you. I wanted to get some more practice in.”

You wring your hands into the front of your shirt, mindlessly bunching it up in between your fingers. When his eyes are back on you, you have to fight yourself from taking a step back. “No, you’re not bothering me at all, I don’t expect any less from our team Captain.” You swallow. Then, barely louder than the thumping of your heartbeat against your ribs, a thought tumbles out of your mouth before you can stop yourself. “Would you like me to help you practice for a bit?” It’s a little thing, so small, and you’ve done it for Lev and Kenma plenty of times. But your hands shake when you ask.

Kuroo’s eyebrows pull tightly together, his expression looking so off-putting even when you normally think everything about him is beautiful. You think he’s perfect, even drenched entirely in sweat and with grooves dug deep under his eyes, exhausted to the bone, so why? Why does he glare at you this way, and how can you make your heart stop wavering in your chest? You briefly stand there to think about what you just said, trying to figure out exactly what you did wrong to make him feel even more shitty, but come up blank. He must have misread your tone of voice, or maybe you had a dumb expression on your face. Just some stupid mistake you made. That’s the only explanation you have why amazing, gorgeous, perfect star player Kuroo is acting the way he is.

“Do you even know anything about volleyball? You don’t look like you do.” The sharp comment feels like a slap to the face, and you take in a little breath as you attempt to rid the unsettling tension between you two. Maybe soothing him isn’t the way to go, but you know Kuroo makes himself feel better with practice and that is something you can do. For him, you could for hours.

“I— I can… serve alright,” you hesitate, looking from his face to his shoes instead. “I know a l-lot about volleyball and though I- I might not be the best, I’d still help, right?” His sharp eyes are still on you like an accusation, and no, no, no, this is all wrong but you don’t know how to fix it.

“Aah,” Kuroo coos then, chuckling to himself as he passes the ball your way, “you want to help me.” You barely catch it, clutching it close to your chest as he motions you closer with his hand. “O‘course you do.” With sheepish steps you make your way toward him because he asked, staying an arm’s length away for your own poor heart. Last time you were this close to Kuroo, all you could do was give some mindless encouragement, even though you were trying. You just couldn’t help get flustered back then. A cold shiver makes its way up your spine though, and you fight the pressing feeling to run. This is your favorite person in the world you’re looking at, and you’d do anything for him. You would, really. “Because you’re my fan, aren’t you?” he echoes your thoughts, and you bob your head in reply.

Your voice is barely above a whisper now, throat closing up when he leans in as if to inspect you more thoroughly. “Yes, of course, Kuroo-san. I’ve been a fan since I first saw you play a match back in middle school.” You wince at your honesty. Don’t tell him that, your mind screams, but it’s too late. All you can do is bite your lip to keep more from tumbling out.

“Yeah, yeah, so I heard.” He gleams, petting your hair and you try to keep your elation to a minimum, because his eyes are still just as sharp as they were when you first walked in, but butterflies flutter in your stomach. His fingers linger for a moment, the weight of his hand making your heart jump. It’s gone soon enough. “You in my class?” You nod eagerly, but while you do he’s already speaking again. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You’re my biggest fan, huh?” He’s leaning closer again, closer, too close, almost like he’s going to kiss you and you might sink through the floor if he gets any closer.

You try not to let the faint smell of his cologne overwhelm you, his face flushed at the edges of his cheeks because of the exertion. You open your mouth to figure out a response again, but Kuroo is faster. “You come to each match, hoping I’d notice you, right? Begging for my attention like a little kid, wearing my name on your body like that. Don’t you feel embarrassed?”

It takes your brain a while to unfilter the words, playing and replaying them now that you take a step back. “Aren’t you embarrassed to be so obsessed with me? Such a cute, little fangirl, just begging for a look your way?” No. It’s not like that, you are not like that. You’re not obsessed, you just care a lot about him. About the entire team. “Pretending to be into volleyball so you can talk to me, right? Do you talk to Yaku’s sister so you can get to me? Do you talk to Kenma so you can get to me too?” You want him to stop talking, why is he still talking? Why is he acting this way at all?

“N-No, it’s not like that,” you bring out, flushing when his hand wraps around your one shoulder to keep you from backing away from him. He straightens out to his full height, towering above you and as you follow his tall body up to his expression, you hate how he is smiling. A loathing, off-centered smile that gleams on his handsome face. The feeling to run grows so strong in your mind that for a moment you can barely ignore it. There’s something wrong. But of course you remain, you just want to make him feel better. “It’s not like that at all. They are my friends. I love volleyball.”

“You love me, Y/N-chan?” he asks then, dark eyes glazing over.

“I— I’m your biggest fan,” you settle on responding. Wouldn’t it be too much to admit you love him, even if you do? He doesn’t seem to take it, looking down at you with thinly veiled irritation now. The fingers on your shoulder tighten, though you’re too distracted to notice. “I mean- Of course I… love… you, but not in an obsessed way! I just have a lot of respect for how hard you work,” you drawl out, throat closing up when the gleam on Kuroo’s face seems to drop in favor of something softer. Something like admiration. You used to love how he would wear his emotions on his face, but now it’s too much. He’s still not satisfied, you can see it. “And I’d do anything to make you feel better so-”

“Hah. Aren’t you just incredibly sweet,” he sighs, finally letting go of your shoulder. You can feel the weight of it long after it’s gone, warmth trailing down your limbs tentatively. You’re so glad you let out a trembling puff of relief. He takes a deep breath, before he smiles again. Softer, familiar, and your heart slowly comes back to life. This is how it’s meant to go, this is how you always imagined it as Kuroo leans down to brush a strand of hair away from your face back behind your ear, sweet and tender. Hair that you keep longer than you’d want because you know Kuroo likes it that way. You’re sure your stress of earlier was showing on your face, cheeks burning for attention. “You’re so pretty like this, my little fangirl. Mine.”

You don’t miss the drop in his voice, a possessive tone that seems misplaced. As he brushes a knuckle past your cheekbone, tingles pool in your belly. “I’ve had a really tough day today, you have no idea. But I’m glad you’re here now. I think I do know how to fix my shitty mood, actually!” He takes your hands in his then, enveloping them with soft traces of his fingers. He pulls you toward the side of the gym, dragging you behind him. Kuroo Tetsuro is holding your hands. It feels too quick, sprung on you so suddenly it makes your head spin, but they are just so warm around yours like you hoped they’d be. The dark-haired man looks back over his shoulder. “You said you will help me, right?”

“Mhm,” you smile, watching him, how his shoulders move under the red volley jersey and his hair waves softly with each step. And he’s still holding your hand. This must be a dream. You’re on a mindless path until he walks you past the lockers and the damp feeling of the shower air hit your face. That’s when you slow your feet and pull against him a little, blinking out of your daze to glance to the side. Kuroo turns to face you. “Hey, this is the boys’ room.” Your obvious statement makes him chuckle, one hand coming up to cup your cheeks and though it’s insanely overwhelming, you don’t have the heart to pull back. He squishes your cheeks together until your lips turn into a cute, little pout.

“You’ve never been in a boys’ locker room, sweet thing? You’re just that good, huh?” Kuroo stares you down with his pretty, golden eyes while you fail to answer. Isn’t being good supposed to be a positive thing? But he says it like it’s something dirty, like you’re not quite right and you can’t help the sinking feeling that fills you to the brim. He pushes the door to your side into lock, the loud clang making your heart race. When he turns back to you, the darkness in his face is what scares you most.

Cats don’t eat cats, do they—

He doesn’t hesitate to grab you by the shoulder and shoves you up against the lockers, your back connecting with the cold metal sharply. You wince, his hand still around your cheeks. It’s so much bigger than you, you realize, he’s so much bigger than you. That never scared you before, but now you’re painfully aware of the looming shape and the way he’s able to look down at you like this. You swallow and keep his golden gaze. But he releases his hold on your face to hold the back of your neck, long fingers splayed across the soft skin, before leaning down so far into you, you can feel the tremble of his breath on your face. “Would you like me to kiss you?”

Your eyes are wide, unbelieving. Of course you do, but… You wait for what feels like a lifetime, his warmth too close to you. You can’t say no, can you? So you nod and drop your shoulders, eyes fluttering closed. If he were to kiss you all those uncomfortable feelings swirling inside would surely vanish. Kuroo hovers his lips over yours, you can feel them so close, but no more than that. And he chuckles, tilting your head to the side with two fingers instead. “No. You don’t deserve it yet. Don’t you think you have to work a bit harder for it? I know you’re good at that.”

He walks toward you until you’re fully pinned to the cold locker in between his legs, as he connects his lips with your neck. His lips are so hot, like steaming coals on you, and you can’t help but grab onto his bicep for support. It flexes under your touch. He kisses down your throat and jaw, lips dragging trails of kisses and tongue carving paths down to your collarbones and to the edge of your shirt.

And you’re so overwhelmed that the person you’ve loved for so long is actually touching you, that you don’t notice how tight his grip is wrapped around your neck, fingertips pressing ovals into the expanse. “You just wanted this the whole time, huh,” he coos, voice sickly sweet. But when he looks up at you from under those lashes, the gold in his eyes has the sharpness of a blade, daring you to reply. You shudder when his hand drops down to drag your shirt up. “Bet you’ve had so many guys hoping that one of them would feel and taste like me.” He unceremoniously shoves it up from your body, over your shoulders. You look to the side where it drops to the floor, your school uniform a crumpled mess.

“Kuroo-san,” you bring out, self consciously wrapping your arms around yourself to cover up. You don’t like this. You don’t like him telling you that you’ve had people just to prepare for him, don’t like him eating up the sight of you like you’re a piece of meat and you definitely don’t like how he presses his thigh in between your legs to pin you up to the locker. “W-what are you doing?”

He huffs in amusement, tangling his fingers into the hair at the top of your neck to tug back your gaze towards his. “You can drop the politeness, silly girl,” he says again, letting go to brush softer circles into your skull. His lips brush over yours as you stand there, trembling, unsure what to do. How can you say no to him if he’s here, so close, with you for the first time in ever? He taps his fingers on your hands to make you release your hold on yourself, which you do with a bit more coaching. Maybe you just think this is going way too fast because it is him. The boy that offers his friends water before drinking himself, the one with the loud laugh that rings through the halls and makes your heart thump. The guy you’ve been head over heels with. That one.

This is okay, you say to yourself, calm down. His other hand traces along the bottom of your bra as soon as you drop your arms to the side, slipping a finger under just enough to lift it from your skin and you shiver. “You gonna take this off for me?” he asks, rubbing his thigh in between yours more. You can’t answer because you’re dropping your head back against the locker, overwhelmed and unsure still, with the lack of oxygen getting to you all you can do is let out a little whimper. You don’t know a lot about this, you’re sure he does. The hand around your neck drops so he can flip your skirt up, chuckling at your cute panties. You look down in embarrassment and attempt to shove the plaid fabric back down over your thighs but then he lets out a growl, holding it in place. “You wear my name on your body like my personal whore. Don’t play too shy to follow through.”

His long fingers trace over the edges of the panties, where you take deep breaths to calm down. You can’t help but push your waist down on his muscular leg for some friction, looking to the side when he chuckles. “You really are a little slut.” This time you shake your head though, pouting at him.

“I’m not, Kuroo.”

“Liar,” he breathes, pressing his nose to the crook of your neck. “You act like a well-mannered princess but we both know you want to be put in your place.” Not waiting up for a response, he lifts you by your thighs up higher, so he can bury his face into your covered chest, dragging his tongue over the one cup. You can feel the wetness of his tongue seep through the lacy fabric onto your skin. It’s warm and uncomfortable, his breath cooling your skin down instantly. “If you’re not going to take it off, I will,” he gleams, looking up to check your expression again. Ever so slowly he starts pushing the fabric up, not bothering to unhook the piece of clothing. Instead he toys with brushing over your pointed nipples, kissing up your sternum. His eyes flick to yours continuously, like he’s making a show of undressing you. He licks his lips, leaning towards you again.

“Kuroo,” you manage to mumble, resting your one hand on his shoulder to push him away from you. You stumble when you land back on your feet, looking down at the floor. Burning heat covers your entire face, from your cheeks up to your ears. It’s physically painful to be so near him, and the tight grip on your thighs isn’t helping. Your heart is pitter pattering so hard it might break through your ribcage. Despite how much you dreamed about falling in love with him, it wasn’t like this. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I have to lock up the halls and go home.” Your friend’s voice rings through your head then, something about bad guys and the way they prey on kind girls like you, creating cold goosebumps along your arms again. Kuroo Tetsuro can’t be one of those guys, you’ve looked up to him for so long. If he is, what would you even do? “I want to—”

“Don’t lie,” he interrupts, glaring up at your disapproval, “don’t ruin this for me.” Without hesitation he locks his mouth onto your exposed skin, rubbing his knee against your covered center, hard. It sends a spike of heat down your body. You breathe out at the rough laving of his tongue, only soothing after he sucked and bit the tender skin. His one hand reaches up to pull down your panties from under your skirt as soon as you’re closing your eyes, and though you open your mouth to stop him he shuts you up by pinching your thigh sharply between his long fingers. “I told you to stop lying to me. Whatever comes out of that pretty mouth next best be the truth.” He trails his digits up and down a few times, the slightest soothing to your anxiety.

“I… I just don’t—” you swallow, looking away from his eyes to focus on the shine of the lights. They make your eyes burn, but at least you don’t have to undergo his vicious glare this way. It really feels like he despises you for even breathing in his direction, though then why would he be kneeled in front of you. The conflict makes you nauseous, more insecure than you’ve ever been around him and your throat closes up a bit. When his stroking stills, you push through the words anyway. “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

He laughs. A warm, bubbly sound against your thigh. “No one’s ever stuffed you with their fingers before?” He looks gleeful, nuzzling your hip in a too-intimate gesture. You’re his fan, but he barely knows anything about you. You slowly shake your head, cheeks warming. His hands start moving again as he shuffles closer between your thighs so his mouth is level with your chest. As he eyes you up and down, he giggles to himself. “Did my slutty fan get herself off on the thought of me? D’you beg for me when coming around your useless, little fingers?” You bite your lip, eyes flicking down at him when he calls your name. “I’m waiting for an answer~”

“I don’t—,” you bite out, flustered and feeling small. He must hear the edge in your voice. With a quick flick of his wrist, he brings his down on your thigh, pinching you hard for good measure. You yelp and grab hold of his head to steady yourself, before quickly pulling your hand away again. He doesn’t seem to mind.

“Wanna try again?” he mumbles though, trailing two fingers up and down the crotch of your panties. It feels warm, and really good, but you’re still cold to the touch. Is this really okay? You doubt it. When he starts licking at the edge of your panties you shudder, letting your weight fall into the sturdy locker for support. “Hm, d’you get off to me?”

You pull your bottom lip into your mouth. You might have touched yourself down there once or twice, but in your imagination that was always long after he’d gotten to know you. In your imagination he was gentle, caring. Nothing like the impatient trailing of his fingers, like he can’t wait to play a game you never agreed to. At his golden gaze, you let the truth spill. “Sometimes,” you breathe, immediately hiding your face in your own shoulder from embarrassment.

“That’s what I thought, dumb girl.” He pushes your panties unceremoniously to the side to collect the slick there, grinning. You didn’t even notice you were getting wet while trying not to anger him. He doesn’t waste time taking advantage of this fact though. He spreads your bottom lips open with his fingers, looking up at you easily. His deep voice feels loud in the pressing silence of the abandoned gym, and you can’t help but wonder how much trouble you’d get in if anyone found you here. “Listen, brat,” he calls, pushing his lips to the top of your thigh to bite the plush skin. You jerk away from him with a cry, but he doesn’t let up.

“I’m gonna push my fingers inside that filthy cunny of yours, stretch out your little hole so you can actually fit something in there. ‘Cause I know you’re a good girl, so you’re probably gonna go braindead if I fuck you like this.” He chuckles at your hitched breathing. You can’t even begin to understand. The person you love more than life itself wants to fuck you? Well, his fingers are still playing down there, slowly pushing into you and they are thick, much thicker than yours. You can’t believe it. Kuroo Tetsuro wants to fuck you, in the boys locker room of the school gym while you should be long on your way out by now. No, you can’t. But you don’t find the words to speak up under his gaze, not wanting to disappoint him. If he notices your mental struggle, he doesn’t show it. “Then you’re gonna help me out like you promised by sucking my cock, right?”

You freeze up. You did say you’d help him, you said that didn’t you… But you didn’t know it would be like this, if you did you would’ve said ‘no’. You curse yourself for saying anything at all, trying to calm your heart as best as you can. You’re feeling so overwhelmed. By his touch, his presence, the situation, the stress put on your poor, frazzled brain. When two of his digits are halfway inside you, you let out a whimper. That’s at least three of your own, you already feel spread so thin. Your fingers find purchase in his soft, raven hair, needing anything to cling to. “Say, ‘Yes, Tetsuro’,” he coos, pressing a row of kisses over the front of your panties, chuckling at the little bow. But the sweet tone is taken away as soon as it comes. “Say it.”

“Y-Yes… Tetsuro.” He hums happily, shoving his fingers inside you in one swift move until his palm is against your center. Your legs almost give out at the feeling. “Ah- ah! S’too much, Kuroo.”

The raven haired man grins at that, curling his digits inside you and pulling them out just as quickly. Like striking a match. You reach up your hand to bite into it, hoping to contain your sounds. Your slick sounds ring through the empty locker room as Kuroo slides them back in and out at a punishing pace. “My dumb, pretty baby really is clueless, huh,” he sighs, long fingers sliding under your knee to place it instead on his shoulder.  It only debases you even more, struggling to stay upright as he brings his face in between your legs. When you whimper in embarrassment, calling his name, he scoffs. “You should let me play this how I want to, since you clearly don’t know anything.”

The curl of his long fingers brushing up against the soft, spongy part of your walls makes your brain numb. His words hurt. You don’t want them to, you wish they didn’t. “My dumb slut,” he hisses, before the harsh lines of his mouth are buried between your thighs. His tongue sweeps out to deliver a long swipe from his pumping fingers to the top of your slit, before swirling around the nub making you tremble. Your belly tenses, coil in the pit of your stomach growing irritatingly tight as he grinds his face against your pussy, obscenely slurping at the wetness. Your fingers twitch in his fluffy hair, attempting to comb through it best you can as your eyes flutter closed.

“Kuroo, ‘m close. Really close.” You can barely raise your voice enough to make it be heard over his motions, though he looks up at the call of his name. “I want to cum,” you say, “please.” He doesn’t still his fingers, but the twitch in his brows seems to indicate disaster, and you quickly bite your lip to think. “C-Can I?”

“D’you think this is about you, Y/N-chan?” He grins at your blown out expression, relishing in the wide eyes and bobbing lip. He uses his thumb to continue putting pressure on your clit, as he tuts his lips. “I’ll decide if or when you cum, because you’re mine. And when I decide to stuff this cunt you best consider yourself lucky, baby, that my cock is breaking open your perfect, little body.”

“Y-yes, but—” you bring out, ignoring the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You can’t hold it if his fingers only speed up their devouring of your body, mouth wrapping around you to suck hard.

“Don’t cum yet,” he mumbles, going so hard it’s making your vision sway. His tongue and mouth go harder, despite his order. And with mindless pleas you come around his fingers, shutting your eyes tight at the white splotches. Legs flexing and fingers tightening in his hair. You let your head drop as he works you through the feeling, until you’re pushing him off from overstimulation. Your cheeks feel akin to a forest fire when you open your eyes to his huff, tracing the lines of the hardwood floor under your feet. When he pulls his fingers out of you, you can feel some of the slick drip down your thighs and you instantly burn brighter.

But you don’t get to think about it, because Kuroo is straightening up before you, back to his overwhelming posture above you. He stares at you for a moment, before he leans in. Out of instinct, you lean back, away from his face when he wipes it. The glint in his eyes is a scorch mark on your sanity, his face so close to yours. “Can’t you listen to what I say, or are you just that cockhungry and stupid?” Your head is shaking side to side before you can stop it, hoping that you’ll be released soon. But you said you’d help him and if you don’t, Kuroo might hate you. You don’t think you could handle that. Rejection would’ve been better, after all. “Get on your knees and make it up to me.”

You choke back a sob at the order, looking up at him with big eyes again. You don’t want to, you don’t want to sit on the cold floor of the locker room where teenage boys drag their sweaty bodies— Kuroo seems to soften slightly at your expression, lowering his palm to your crown to pat your head, gently brushing over your temple. “You’re my biggest fan, aren’t you?” The low rumble of his voice right next to your face, his warm body so close and the curl of his pretty lips, everything makes you so docile. Dreamlike. “You’re really helping me so much,” he coos, and before you know it his mouth is on yours. His mouth… is on yours. And he tastes like you, and he’s kissing you. You freeze, not stopping him as he grabs your hands and loops them around his neck, his own picking you up to melt into an embrace.

Like two lovers in a painting, he claims your mouth with his tongue and curls your feeble body into him. So strong, with hard lines of his body that make your heart swell under your ribs. His hand on your thigh, the other on your neck, he kisses you and you think the stars might be exploding around you. He pulls back for a moment enough to breathe, before peppering another few kisses on your agape lips until you could turn black and blue from the bruising weight of your adoration. Kuroo brushes your hair away as you look at him, chest heaving against his each swell of your lungs. He starts peeling his lanky body away from you. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought that you were my biggest fan, but if you don’t—”

“No, I am!” you squeak, grabbing onto his jersey to keep his warmth close.

The noirette gives a faint smile, shaking his head. You don’t stop to question him acting so different from before, since your greedy brain clings to every word. “It’s okay,” he mumbles, “I’m used to being taken advantage of by girls.” His eyes shift to the side, lips dropping into a downturn. “They tell me how much they care about me so that I’ll have them, then leave me. I know my teammates are always the favorites anyway. So I understand that you don’t want to do anything more, it’s okay.”

“No Tetsuro, I want to, I swear!” you blurt out, grabbing his large hand despite the jitters in your system. He gives you a slight raise of his eyebrow. “I want to— s-suck you off.”

He chuckles, gaining back some of the brightness to his eyes. “You can’t even say it without stuttering.” The hand on your neck slides to your shoulder, slowly pushing you toward the ground. You hesitate for another moment, before dropping to your knees when the pressure becomes too heavy. When you’re eye level with his shorts, you swallow, bringing up your hands. The fabric is pulled taunt, showing off your effect on him. Ever so slowly, you pull the elastic of the red shorts down, taking his boxers with them in the process. You push them down until his hard cock is freed, curving up towards his belly and twitching with anticipation. Kuroo just bites his lip when you look up at him. “Give it your best shot, baby.”

He’s hot and heavy in your hand, tip glistening with precum. You slowly start moving your hand down his length, but you’re clearly not going fast enough because his hand is back in your hair, yanking you closer to his dick this time. He presses the tip to your lips, and you whimper out as you open your mouth. He’s quick to grab hold of himself to push inside, too quick and stretching you painfully. He’s big and wide and you immediately know you’ll ache once this is done. But as he starts working himself deeper, your eyes fluttering at the feeling and focusing on not choking, he makes pretty grunts that you tell yourself make this worth it. He reaches the back of your throat with plenty to spare, and you bring your hand up to hold yourself on his thigh. It stings.

But he doesn’t stop, even when you whimper around him and push at his leg. “Take it all the way,” he grunts, cocking his head back. The noises you make only make him more vocal, but you’re fighting through the feeling of panic in your chest. Each time he pulls back more saliva messes up your face, keeping Kuroo’s attention on the pretty way you take him. “You think you deserve my attention? My dumb, useless little bitch wants my approval?” He grunts when he hits the back of your throat again. “Because if you can’t even take my cock in your mouth without drooling all over yourself, I don’t think you do deserve it.” He slows his hips when you make a throaty sound, fingers tangled tight in your hair as he pushes in until your nose is pressed to his skin, before letting you back. You gasp for air when you’re finally let up, holding a sob that threatens to crawl out of your throat.

“Kuroo, I can’t,” you bring out, wiping your fingers under your eyes to get rid of any tears, but he doesn’t let go. Your voice is already raspy, grating against your tender throat.

“Yes you can, you’re doing well.” He pushes his cock back to your lips and though you’re more prepared for it this time you’re still shocked by how big he feels. Spit seeps out along the edges of your mouth, tongue being pushed down and your lungs struggling. He moves your head up and down his cock over and over, barely leaving you enough time to take a couple deep breaths. He slowly starts fucking your face when the tears spill over your cheeks and clump your lashes, hissing when you gag on him. “That’s how you suck a cock, idiot. Can’t do anything right without my help, can you?” His words just make you cry more. He bruises your throat until you can’t take any more, pulling out of his grip despite the pain and falling back onto your butt.

“Kuroo,” you cry out, losing control over your own tears. Your voice sounds double, like it’s been split in two. “I don’t like this.” A little squeak falls from your lips, airways painful and ragged. “I want—,” this time you can’t hold back the sob, “I want you to be nice to me.” You sound so pitiful, even to your own ears. You’re crying. But the man you’ve looked up to for so long is calling you all these names, making you feel so dumb. Are you really that dumb for liking him, supporting him, being his fan? “I don’t wanna do any more.” Tears are flowing, wet and warm down your cheeks and neck. Stop, stop crying. You reach a hand up to smear them away, but in their place new ones still come. “Please, I wanna go home.”

“Shh, shhhh,” he hushes, petting the top of your head like you’re a well-behaving pup, and you hate how you lean into it. The idea of yourself makes you sick to your stomach. Why are you even letting him walk all over you like this? Is this really the amount of self respect you have? Kuroo peers down at you between his legs. “You’re doing so well for me. You’re the best fan I could ask for. I’m sure you can take a bit more.”

“No,” you squeak when he reaches for your face again, “it hurts and I don’t like it.”

Kuroo stills. Regards you with a long, drawn-out breath, before humming in what you pray is understanding. “Alright,” he helps you up from the floor, steadying you in his arms and moving you both to one of the benches instead. “I wouldn’t want to hurt my number one fan, would I?” He sits down on the bench first, pulling you to sit on his thighs facing him. You wipe the mess of tears and saliva away as best you can, watching as Kuroo slides you closer to him without a care in the world. And you want to be mad, you want to push off him and do anything other than sit here and take it, but you can’t. You can’t, because you’re weak. You can’t, because you’re an idiot fangirl, and he’s been everything you’ve wanted since you were thirteen.

“Push your legs together,” he orders, squishing your thighs and reaching down to slip his cock in between them. He fucks your legs with the last of his restraint, pace from fast to punishing, kneading the doughy expanse between his fingers and pressing his forehead to your shoulder. You can feel the warmth of his breath, the shudder down his spine and the tensing of his legs below you, but you don’t process it. Everything feels far away. And then he calls out your name, and cums on your thighs, spilling white all over your panties and skin. He kisses your neck, and your lips after that. And you just stare at the tiles of the boys room showers before he slides you off of him.

Your legs tremble. He quickly uses a towel to clean himself up before tucking himself back in, and smiles down at you. “Thank you so much, baby, that was perfect.” He leans down to press a kiss to your temple as he hands you the towel. “Clean up?” The fluffy towel with the red cat embroidered on it is stained with the cum you clean off yourself, as tears roll down your face. You loved him so much, but now you just hate him. Embarrassed, hurt, useless. Kuroo’s bright face as he talks is another slap in yours. “Lighten up, I’ll lock up the gym for you, okay?” He smiles when you lift your eyes to his figure in the doorway, your crumpled skirt bunched in your hand. “And don’t even worry about it, I’ll walk you home. It’s the least I could do for my fan.”

It is the least he could do.

You nod and put up your most convincing smile.

///

thank you so so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed. did this have to be so long? probably not. did i make it that long anyway? yes. mean kuroo will live rent free in my brain for the coming six months.

[snarktheater]

Hey, d'you have any French book recs? I'm trying to work on my French, and rn I have downloaded one of my favourite book series' French translations, but I figured maybe books already written in French might work better? Also have you read the Ranger's Apprentice series? 1/2

RA's def flawed - the books' narration does like to point bright arrows at the protagonists' intelligence, and the last few books def have the tone of 'old white man trying to write feminism', although at least he's trying? - and it's aimed more to the younger side of YA, but it is still a very fun series, and I can ignore the flaws fairly easily, at least partly due to nostalgia? This rather long lol but I'm wordy.

I'll start with the second question: no, although every time the series is brought up I have to check the French title and go "oh, right, I've seen these books in stores". But I've never purchased or read them. It sounds like something I probably would have enjoyed as a teen but I just missed the mark, and these days I'm trying to drown myself in queer books, so that probably isn't happening.

As for your first question, geez, I haven’t read a French book in years, so this is gonna skew middle grade/YA, though that may not be so bad if the point is to learn the language. I will also say that as a result, these may read a little outdated.

I'll put it under a cut, even if Tumblr has become really bad with correctly displaying read mores. Sorry, mobile crowd.

It's also likely that old readers of the blog will have seen me talk about most of these. I don't feel like going through old posts.

One last thing: while I was curating this list I took the time to make a Goodreads shelf to keep track of those.

The Ewilan books by Pierre Bottero

(It's a testament to how long ago I read these books that these are not the covers of the edition I own, and I can't even find those on Google. I'm settling for a more recent cover anyway since it'll make it easier to find them, presumably)

There are at least three trilogies (that I know of) set in the same world.

The first trilogy is essentially an isekai (so, French girl lands in parallel fantasy world by accident) with elements of chosen one trope, though I find the execution makes it worth the while anyway.

The second trilogy is a direct sequel, so same protagonist but new threat, and the world gets expanded.

The third one is centered around a supporting characters from the previous books, and the first couple of books in it are more her backstory than a continuation, though the third one concludes both that trilogy and advances the story of the other books as well.

Notably these books have a really fun magic system where the characters "draw" things into existence. It's just stuck with me for some reason.

A bunch of stuff by Erik L'Homme

I have read a lot of this man's books, starting with Le Livre des Etoiles.

They also skew towards the young end of YA, arguably middle grade, I never bothered to figure out where to draw the line. They're coincidentally also using the premise of a parallel world to our own (and yes, connected to France again, the French are just as susceptible of writing about their homeland), but interestingly are set from the point of view of characters native to the parallel world.

It also has a very unique magic system, this one based on a mix of a runic alphabet and sort-of poetry. I'll also say specifically for these books that the characters stuck with me way more than others on this list, which is worth mentioning.

This trilogy is my favorite by Erik L'Homme, but I'll also mention Les Maîtres des brisants, which is a fantasy space opera with a pirate steampunk(?) vibe. I think it's steampunk. I could be mistaken. But it's in that vein. It's also middle grade, in my opinion not as good, but it could just be that it came out when I was older.

Another one is Phaenomen, which was a deliberate attempt at skewing older (though still YA). This one is set in our (then-)modern world and centers a group of teens who happen to have supernatural powers. I guess the best way to describe it is a superhero thriller? If you take "superhero" in the sense of "people with individualized powers", since they don't really do a lot of heroing.

...I really need to brush up on genre terminology, don't I.

The Ji series by Pierre Grimbert

This one is actually adult fantasy, though it definitely falls under "probably outdated". It is very straight, for starters, and I'd have to give it another read to give a more critical reading of how it handles race (it attempts to do it, and is well meaning, but I'm not sure it survives the test of time & scrutiny, basically).

If I haven't lost you already, the premise is this: a few generations ago, a weird man named Nol gathered emissaries from each nation of the world and took them to a trip to the titular Ji island. Nobody knows what went down here, but now in the present day, someone is trying to kill off all descendants from those emissaries, who are as a result forced to team up and figure out what's going on.

I'm not going to spoil past that, though I will say it has (surprise) a really unique magic system! I guess you can start to piece together what my younger self was interested in. Which, admittedly, I still am.

Once again, this one also has a strong cast of characters, helped by rich world building and the premise forcing the characters to come from many different cultures (though, again, I can't vouch for the handling of race because it's been too long).

The first series is complete by itself, though it has two sequel series as well, each focusing on the next generation in these families. Because yes, of course they all pair up and have kids. Like I said: very straight.

A whole lot of books by Jean-Louis Fetjaine

OFetjaine is a historian, and I guess he's really interested in Arthurian mythos especially, because he loves it so much he's written two separate high fantasy retellings of them! I'm not criticizing, mind you, we all need a hobby.

The former, the Elves trilogy (pictures above) is very traditional high fantasy. Elves, dwarves, orcs, a world which is definitely fictionalized with a pan-Celtic vibe to it. The holy grail and excalibur are around, but they're relics possessed by the elves and dwarves with very different powers than usual. Et cetera.

Fetjaine also really loves his elves (as the titles might imply), and while they're not exactly Tolkien elves, there's a similar vibe to them. If you like Tolkien and his elf boner, you'll probably like this too. And conversely, if that turns you off, these books probably also won't work for you.

This series also has a prequel trilogy, centered around the backstory of one of the main characters. I...honestly don't remember too much about it, but I liked it, so, there you go, I guess.

I said Fetjaine did it twice. The other series is the Merlin duology, which, as the title implies, is a retelling of Merlin's story. Note that Merlin is also in the other trilogy, but it's a different Merlin; like I said, completely different continuities and stories.

This one is historical fantasy, so it's set in actual Great Britain, and Fetjaine attempts to connect Arthur to a "real" historical figure...but, you know, Merlin is also half-elf and elves totally exist in Brocéliande, so, you know. History.

Okay, that's probably enough fantasy, let me give some classics too.

L'Arbre des possibles et autres histoires - Bernard Werber

Bernard Werber is a pretty seminal author of French sci-fi and I should probably be embarrassed that the only book of his that I read was for school, but, it is a really good one, so I'll include it anyway.

It's a novella collection, and when I say "sci-fi" I want to make it clear that it's very old school science fiction. It's more Frankenstein or Black Mirror than Star Trek, what we in French call the anticipation genre of science fiction: you take one piece of technology or cultural norm and project it into the future.

It has a pretty wide range of topics and tones, so it's bound to have some better than others. My personal faves were Du pain et des jeux, where football (non-American) has evolved into basically a wargame, and Tel maître, tel lion, where any animal is considered acceptable as a pet, no matter how absurd it is to keep as a pet. They're both on a comedic end, but there's more heartfelt stuff too.

L'Ecume des Jours - Boris Vian

(no cover because I can't find the one I have, and the ones I find are ugly)

This book is surrealist. Like, literally a part of the surrealist movement. It features things such as a lilypad growing inside a woman's lungs (and, as you well know, lilypads double in size every day, wink wink), the protagonist's apartment becoming larger and smaller to go with his mood and current financial situation, and more that I can't even recall at the moment because remembering this book is like trying to remember having an aneurysm.

It is also really, really fun and touching. Oh, and it has a pretty solid movie adaptation, starring Audrey Tautou, who I think an international audience would probably recognize from Amelie or the Da Vinci Code movie.

I don't really know what else to say. It's a really cool read!

Le Roi se meurt - Eugène Ionesco

Ionesco is somewhat famous worldwide so I wasn't even sure to include him here. He's a playwright who wrote in the "Theater of the Absurd" movement, and this play is part of that.

The premise of this play is that the King (of an unnamed land) is dying, and the land is dying with him. I don't really know what else to say. It's theater of the absurd. It kind of has to be experienced (the published version works fine, btw, no need to track down an actual performance, in my humble opinion).

The Plague - Albert Camus

You've probably heard of this one, and if you haven't, let me tell you about a guy called Carlos Maza

I'm honestly more including this book out of a sense of duty. The other three are books I genuinely liked and happen to be classics. This book was an awful read. But, um. It's kind of relevant now in a way it wasn't (or didn't feel, anyway) back in 2008 or 2009, when I read it. And I don't just mean because of our own plague, since Camus's plague is pretty famously an allegory for fascism, which my teenage self sneered at, and my adult self really regrets every feeling that way.

Okay, finally, some more lighthearted stuff, we gotta talk about the Belgian and French art of bande dessinée. How is it different from comic books or manga? Functionally, it isn't. It really comes down more to what gets published in the Belgian-French industry compared to the American comics industry, which is dominated by superheroes, or the Japanese manga industry, which, while I'm less familiar with it, I know has some big genre trends as well that are completely separate.

The Lanfeust series - Arleston and Tarquin

This is a YA mega-series, and I can't recommend all of it because I've lost track of the franchise's growth. Also note that I say "YA", but in this case it means something very different from an American understanding of YA. These books are pretty full of sex.

No, when I say YA I mean it has that level of maturity, for better or worse. The original series (Lanfeust de Troy) is high fantasy in a world where everyone has an individual magical ability but two characters find out they're gifted with an absolute power to make anything happen, and while it gets dark at times, it's still very lighthearted throughout, and the humor is...well, I think it's best described as teen boy humor. And it has a tendency to objectify its female characters, as you'll quickly parse out from the one cover I used here or if you browse more covers.

But still, it holds a special place in my heart, I guess. And on my shelves.

The sequel series, Lanfeust des Etoiles, turns it into a space opera, and goes a little overboard with the pop culture reference at times, though overall still maintains that balance of serious/at times dark story and lighthearted comedy.

After that the franchise is utter chaos to me, and I've lost track. I know there was another sequel series, which I dropped partway through, and a spinoff that retold part of the original series from the PoV of the main love interest (in the period of time she spent away from the main group). There was a comedy spin-off about the troll species unique to this world, a prequel series, probably more I don't even know exist.

Les Démons d'Alexia

Something I can probably be a little less ashamed of including here.

Some backstory here. The Editions Dupuis are a giant of the Belgian bande dessinée industry, and for many, many years I was subscribed to their weekly magazine. That magazine was (mostly) made up of excerpts from the various books that the éditions were publishing at the time; those that were made of comic strips would usually get a couple pages of individual scripts, while the ongoing narratives got cut into episodes that were a few pages long (out of a typical 48 page count for a single BD album). Among those were this series.

For the first few volumes, I wasn't super into this series, probably because I was a little too young and smack dab in the middle of my "trying to be one of the boys" phase. But around book 3 I got really invested, to the point where I own the second half of the series because I had canceled by subscription by then but still wanted to know more.

Alexia is an exorcist with unusual talents, but little control, who's introduced to a group that specializes in researching paranormal phenomena, solving cases that involve the paranormal, that kinda stuff.

As a result of the premise, the series has a pretty slow start since it has to build up mystery around the source of Alexia's powers, but once it gets going and we get to what is essentially the series' main conflict, it gets really interesting.

Plus, witches. I'm a simple gay who likes strong protagonists and witches.

Murena

There was a point where my mtyhology nerdery led me to look for more stuff about the historical cultures that created them, and so I'd be super into stuff set in ancient Rome (I'd say "or Greece or Egypt" but let's face it, it was almost always Rome).

Murena is a series set just before the start of Emperor Nero's rule. You know, the one who was emperor when Rome burned, and according to urban legend either caused the fire or played the fiddle while it did (note: "fiddle" is a very English saying, it's usually the lyre in other languages). He probably didn't, it probably was propaganda, but he was a) a Roman Emperor, none of whom were particularly stellar guys and b) mean to Christians, who eventually got to rewrite history. So he's got a bad rep.

The series goes for a very historical take on events, albeit fictionalized (the protagonist and main PoV, the titular Lucius Murena, is himself fictional) and attempts to humanize the people involved in those events. Each book also includes some of the sources used to justify how events and characters are depicted, which is a nice touch.

It's also divided in subseries called "cycles" (books 1-4, 5-8 and the ongoing one starts at 9). I stopped after 9, though I think it's mostly a case of not going to bookstores often anymore. Plus it took four years between 9 and 10, and again between 10 and 11. But the first eight books made for a pretty solid story that honestly felt somewhat concluded as is, so it's a good place to start.

[bokutosbubblebutt]

Chapter: Happiness || Teaser

——————

To be honest, it was really a miracle how you got there. You never expected that your parents would allow you to leave the house, to go outside, meet other people, start a life.

After never ending discussions, trying to find a compromise, they really said yes.

"We will try it a few months and if we are satisfied, if they can keep you safe, you can stay!"

You never felt more happy in your entire life. You finally could go outside, start a life, meet people, make finally friends and maybe even fall in love. Something you had dreamt about since you started reading.

Even though there was a high chance of being forced to go back to your place, the place that was supposed to keep you safe from every injury possible, you tried to make the best out of it. Even though there was a high chance of getting hurt and accidentally killing yourself, you tried your best to enjoy it.

Nervous but excited you were standing in front of your new teachers office, Mr. Aizawa. You already read about him in a superhero blog. He was the one, who could easily erase the quirks of his enemies and then capture them with his weapon. Pretty impressive, in your opinion. Simple but very effective.

It was really early in the morning. The classes usually start around 8:20 and it was 7:30 now. Already a bunch of people came across your way. You greeted everyone nicely and smiled at them but they all seemed to be in a hurry and stressed. Well, it was the first day of a new school year and taking care of such a big school with so many future pro heroes must be really complicated.

The school. Overwhelming! The campus was gigantic and had so many buildings, grounds and areas. You barely ever left your house, so it happens that you even got overwhelmed by only visiting the shopping center sometimes. Such a big place with so many different individuals made you panic a bit, and since you weren't used to being surrounded by people, you may suffered from social anxiety but the excitement and your curiosity made you gladly forget about it.

Your only concern right now was that you just tried to not get lost in here.

The whole atmosphere was completely different than at home. Here, it made you feel free like living an exciting life full of many people and different activities. At home, it was like a constant feeling of not being yourself or more like not knowing yourself.

And it smelled different here. It smelled like something sweet and dangerous, but quite serious as well. The sweetness definitely came from a lady that walked past you a few minutes ago. You recognized her immediately by her hero costume. It was the pro hero Midnight. For some reasons you've always looked up to her. She just always did what she wanted, not caring about what others think or tell her, sometimes you wish you could be like her but no, not in your situation.

Nervously you stared at the ceiling, trying to count the blue and white stripes on the metallic plates and not taking care about the things that happened around you. The counting helped you focus on one thing and made you forget about your nervousness.

"You need to go to Mr. Aizawa as well, right?" a deep voice made you snap back to reality and loose your concentrated trance.

A tired looking boy with really dark circles under his eyes was staring at you, scanning your appearance. He looked pretty buff and intimidating at the first sight. His indigo hair was standing up in all directions and made him look really tall. Awkwardly he turned his body towards the door and back to you.

"No taking?" He asked again and stared confused at you. The boy tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. Again his eyes scanned your body. Since you fiddled with your fingers the whole time, your hand caught his attention. A scar was going down from your middle finger to your wrist.

He had never seen you before. He would remember such a sick looking girl. You were really skinny and pale. You had completely grey eyes and light grey, almost white, hair, which stopped straight above your shoulders. Your whole appearance was ghost like and, to be honest, kinda sad. You looked so skinny, your cheekbones clearly defined, a big gap between your legs and like it would only take one little blow, probably just a little refreshing wind in the summer, to make you fly away. If you had a little bit more meat on your body, you would look prettier, he thought but that was just his opinion.

Perplexed you looked at him in shock, still not fully realizing what he just said to you. He's going to be the first person you ever had spoken to besides the people your parents hired and your online friends. He is the one, the first one.

"Uhm, no, I mean yes. I-, I am just nervous. Birfst, I mean first big day, you know."

you stuttered awkwardly and blushed in embarrassment. Amused the boy smirked and leaned back against the wall.

Great, the first sentence and you immediately fucked up, you thought. He probably must now be thinking that you are stupid and not able to speak, great.

Again you were staring at the ceiling, counting how many stripes the pattern had to make you forget about what a nervous wreck you actually were right now and he was silently watching you. Again he was trying to remember the person who was standing in front of him, trying to find out if he had seen you before but such a sick and sad looking girl was someone, he definitely would remember.

After waiting some more minutes the door suddenly opened and a man with long black hair and eyes that looked like they would fall shut every second, was standing in the door frame. Mr. Aizawa.

"Come in" he said and walked back into the room.

The boy turned around and walked into the room as well. The office was really messy and many stacks of papers were laying around. It smelled like coffee in here and the morning sun heated up the air, making the little dust particles that were floating around able to see. It was this kind of mixture that gives you a headache if you stay in here for too long.

„You two are the only one who are going to transfer to Class 2-A." he explained and sat down at his desk, trying to find something.

Both Class 2-A? The boy must be one of your new classmates then, you thought. You just hoped that he's not one of those school bullies, who make fun of others, will steal your money and put you into the toilet like you already have read about in some books. 

„I already filled out your forms and put them together in your folder. The only thing you need to do, is designing your hero costume but I can't find the sheet for it right now. I'm gonna be right back. Please go trough it and check if we missed something" he handed you your folders and then went through another door.

Your folder was pretty thin if you compare it to the other one. Well, obviously because there was not much information about you so far. Only your stats like height, weight and birthday and of course a description of your quirk.

Quickly you read through everything and checked if there were any mistake and surprisingly there was one. Just a small one but still something you better don't forget.

Curious you were eyeing the other folder and tried to read the boys' stats. After he went to the next page, you finally could read some single words if his quirk description.

"Your quirk is brainwashing?" you suddenly asked and smiled at him in excitement. „How cool! You must be pretty powerful with that, hu?"

Shocked the boy looked at you because he didn't expected you to speak so loudly. He thought you were more shy and quiet, your appearance didn't matched how you talked.

„Uhm, not really." he answered and closed his folder.

„I think it's a pretty cool quirk. How does it work?" you asked the next question and turned your body towards his, grabbing the arm rests of your seat.

„If someone answers me I can activate it." he explained and put the folder back on the desk, still shocked and not knowing how to act.

„But you can control when you activate it or not?"

He simply nodded and looked at you.

„My name is Y/N L/N but you can call me (Nickname). Nice to meet you!" you laughed with a big smile and offered your hand to shake it.

„I'm Hitoshi Shinsou, nice to meet you."

———————

So this is the first chapter of one of my stories I am currently writing on Wattpad

It’s called Chapter: happiness

If you liked the first chapter and are now interested in what’s going to happen next, here’s the link