#man corporate don is fun

[iwillkeepfighting]

"Please stop, I'll do anything," the pitiful excuse of a henchman blubbers. Don watches out of the corner of his eye for a few minutes, not once pausing as he types his way to the man's financial and societal ruin in digital form. Finally, patience wearing thin, he extends the smallest offer of mercy (the only one he's going to get). "Don't beg me; I've already written you off," he informs the man. "Beg my brothers. Maybe one of them will think up a convincing case on your behalf."

[gachabastard]

Limbus Company Sinners as Fallen London Companions

Smashing my two hyperfixations together like dolls and making them kiss. What I'm seeking (lol) to do here is not to conflate the Sinners to existing Companions, but rather create Companions based off of them instead. If you know both things then this won't take any explaining.

For people who know Limbus Company but not Fallen London: Fallen London is a browser game made by Failbetter Studios. It is an alternate history of an 1800s London that has sunk deep below the earth into a subterranean cavern known as the Neath and is now overseen by the mysterious Masters of the Bazaar. You begin the game as a Surface-dweller who has recently descended into the Neath for certain reasons, which you are able to decide for yourself and act upon as you progress through the game. Companions are "equipment" of sorts that you can equip to increase (or lower) your character's stats. A full write-up of FL's mechanics could be another three separate posts on its own, so I recommend the wiki's Beginner's Guide and other resources therein to understand the mechanics I'll detail here. If you enjoy the writing in LCB you will most likely also love FL's writing. Please play it, it is awesome. (And lmk if you do, I'll add you as a friend and definitely not stab you in the back)

For people who know Fallen London but not Limbus Company: Limbus Company is a mobile game made by Project Moon. It is the third in a series of games, preceded by Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina, which are both available for purchase on Steam, though Limbus Company can be played independently of these if you want; the player avatar is an amnesiac so things are generally explained as needed (though Lobcorp and LoR are also very good and I recommend them, but you do have to buy those, so). The game centers around a department of the titular Limbus Company, the Limbus Company Bus Team (often shortened to LCB), the twelve individuals referred to as Sinners who make up the team, and their amnesiac Manager named Dante as they brave the ruins of the old branches of Lobotomy Corporation to retrieve strange objects known as Golden Boughs. All of the major characters in LCB are based off of classic literature (for example, Dante is based off of Dante's Inferno). If you like FL's writing you may enjoy LCB, but it is a gacha game which turns a lot of people off. For character info you can visit the Fandom wiki (yeah I know, it's a Fandom wiki), and if you want to read the story so far without playing the game you can check out this github page which contains all of the story text.

And if you don't know either...I don't know why you're reading this, but I hope my explanations and provided resources are enough to help you understand it regardless.

Okay, wall of text out of the way, let's get into the actual point of the post. This isn't meant to be balanced or anything this is just for fun because I'm diseased. Also LIMBUS SPOILERS THRU CANTO VI sorry.

Starting off with Sinner #1, Yi Sang:

Mirror-Marred Litterateur In the Mirror's glass, he observed endless possibilities. One such possibility observed him back. Watchful +4, Glasswork +2, Bizarre +1

Reasoning: Honestly? I thought about Sang Yi chilling in Parabola and that colored my whole concept here. But for real the whole Mirror thing is too perfect. Yi Sang defines Glasswork.

Sinner #2, Faust

Hell-Touched Engineer She hasn't the eyes of a devil, but builds infernal machinery previously unseen outside of Hell. Claims to know all outcomes, but shares precious little. Dreaded +2, Artisan of the Red Science +2, Decreases Nightmare build up

Reasoning: Something something Faust something something Mephistopheles something something her base EGO heals SP.

Sinner #3, Don Quixote

Dreaming Knight The only weapon stronger than a dream is delusion. Dangerous +5, Mithridacy +2, Increases Scandal build up

Reasoning: DQ is so skilled in Mithridacy she's got herself convinced of untruths, man. She's also allowed little a Scandal. As a treat.

Sinner #4, Ryoshu

Bohemian Blademaster Her masterwork blade is her brush; her enemies, her canvas. Legend has it that even the Boatman respects her work. Dangerous +4, Dreaded +2, Monstrous Anatomy +1

Reasoning: I feel like this one's pretty self-explanatory. I added a point of MA since I feel like she'd want to be a bit knowledgeable in monster anatomy for Art Reasons

Sinner #5, Meursault

Chained Stranger "The Neath is a prison," he says matter-of-factly, "And I am here because I am meant to be." Despite this, one could swear they saw the sun reflecting off his eyes. Persuasive +2, Respectable +3, Reduces Scandal build up

Reasoning: Hehe did you see what I did there. I referenced the thing. Anyway aside from being pretty blunt, he's probably the best candidate out of the whole group for Respectable.

Sinner #6, Hong Lu

Bright-Eyed Debonair New to the Neath, from an affluent Surface family. The Neath's many delights confuse and excite him. Persuasive +2, Shadowy +1, Kataleptic Toxicology +1

Reasoning: I think Hong Lu being new to the Neath fits with him being sheltered in canon. Also +1 KA cuz you know that boy is hittin that Honey. The Honey-Dens of Veilgarden already know him by name.

Sinner #7, Heathcliff

Bereaved Ruffian He knows the backstreets of London like the scars on his hands. He remembers that which the world does not, and waits. Dangerous +8, Shadowy -3, Chthonosophy +1

Reasoning: Oops Canto VI colored the fuck out of this one oops oops oops. Happy Firmament Day btw have some Chthonosophy. :)

Sinner #8, Ishmael

Zeefaring Pathfinder She's hunted the most feared creatures known to the Zee, losing her way to chart a path for her mad captain. Her compass will see that she never loses sight of her path again. Zeefaring +2, Monstrous Anatomy +3, Increases Nightmares build up

Reasoning: Ishy-Fishy you were made to embody Zeefaring and MA.

Sinner #9, Rodion

Lacre-Drowned Cardshark Born in a run-down corner of London where the Lacre falls thickest at Sacksmas, she knows a thing or two about cards. She wouldn't mind teaching you...for a price. Persuasive +4, Watchful +6

Reasoning: Heart's Desire vibes. That's it.

Sinner #10, Dante

Timepiece Manager An infernal timepiece ticks away where a head should be. They have no memories of their own, but they can never forget again. Chthonosophy +2, Steward of the Discordance +1, Dangerous -5, Reduces Wounds build up

Reasoning: Congratulations Dante on being the only bitch to not have the Discordance because the Discordance isn't real. Ummm I went off vibes here but tbh I think Dante should decrease your Dangerous by way more actually. Hell, let's make then decrease Dreaded too. Let's make them a Weasel of Woe.

Sinner #11, Sinclair

Unrealized Prodigy Young and anxious, jumping at every shadow. His potential is very promising. Dangerous +6, Dreaded +1, Increases Wounds build up

Reasoning: Sinclair may be baby. But he is Scary Baby.

Sinner #12, Outis

Commanding Oneironaut She's led the forces of Parabola to victory more times than you could count. Don't ask her any questions. Dangerous +8, A Player of Chess +2, Glasswork +1

Reasoning: Everybody shut the fuck up Parabolan War General Outis is everything to me, you hear me. EVERYTHING. She favors the Chessboard, obviously, with that +2 to APoC.

Sinner #13, Gregor

Metamorphic Veteran A large insectoid pincer sits where a right arm should be. He'll talk about pretty much anything but the details around that. Seriously, be careful around that thing. Dangerous +5, Shapeling Arts +3, Bizarre +2

Reasoning: You had to know Gregor would be the only bitch to get Shapeling Arts. Look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't. I wanted to give him Persuasive due to his amicability but also he actually. Sucks at being persuasive like canonically, so. Dangerous it is.

BONUS! Vergilius

The Red Gaze The most feared Fixer in the Neath. Whatever could you have done to strike up an alliance with him? Watchful +30, Shadowy +30, Dangerous +30, Persuasive +30, Greatly reduces Nightmare build up

Reasoning: He's the Red Goat I ain't gotta explain shit.

anyway hope you enjoyed even though you definitely didn't. i have a headache now so i'm gonna go consume painkillers and caffeine and go run mirror dungeons in lcb for that limbus battle pass.

[glubby-guppiez]

*Random TMNT 2012 (mainly side characters) hc's bcuz hyperfixation

*(this is the best divider to ever exist btw)

*Warnings: Spoilers for TMNT 2012 ofc, mentions of gender dysphoria and trans related insecurity, transphobia, accidental arson, bullying, manipulation, ptsd, also the tone of the headcanons shift randomly also also typing quirk

*Chris Bradford is trans. )(e did a full transition, he did hormones, voice training, top and bottom surgery, a few different surgeries to make him look/feel more masculine, all the bells and whistles, even went the extra mile to do procedures to hide his surgery scars. )(e's closeted and does about everything in his power to make sure no one even question that he was assigned female at birth because he's scared of his social image of being the great macho man, Chris Bradford, crumbling.

*Leo mainly or solely uses fandom and fanfic socials like Wattpad, AO3, Amino, Tumblr, and maybe Twitter. She mainly interacts with Space )(eroes and Crognard The Barbarian fan posts and shows a special interest in gender swap aus.

*Later on, post show with Muckman's help the mutants are actually able to freely walk around humans without them completely flipping out and starting a mob to witch hunt after them.

*Speaking of walking around humans, Napoleon and the frogs down in Louisiana are considered local urban legend and humans get really excited when they spot the frogs in the woods.

*Dr. Rockwell is a very big coffee enjoyer and used to secretly steal coffee from the nearby shops around the mighty mutanimals hideout and on the rare occasion when someone caught him and called him out he would always use the excuse of the shops being owned by big corporations.

*Don Visioso is a deadbeat father of 5. )(e also has had multiple wives and many divorces.

*Mondo Gecko will call people posers if he's jealous enough of them.

*Ivan Steranko is also trans but has only had hrt and face masculinizing surgery and refuses to get top and bottom surgery.

*Anton Zeck is incredibly smart and performed extremely well in high school and even got free scholarships for how well he did.

*Shinigami is a big video game nerd and will geek out if anyone mentions one of the games she plays.

*The reason Anton hated the mutant name Mikey gave him at first is because it either sounds a lot like or straight up is a nickname old bullies of him gave in order to make fun of him.

*Premutation, Chris acts transphobic towards Xever (despite Xever being cis) out of jealousy and insecurity.

*Baxter Stockman is either a gay aroace trans mspec nonbinary man or a cishet ally. No in-between.

*Mini April cluster!!!:

*April has a deep love for literature and writes poetry in her spare time.

*She almost burned down the culinary class in her school once.

*She's questioning aroace.

*She felt extra empathy for Muckman because he reminded her of Kirby a little bit.

*She likes to hide stickers around the lair whenever has them on her person.

*She thoroughly enjoys having long conversations with each of the individual turtles. (It's her favorite way to spend time with anyone tbh)

*April does eventually take some time to properly learn Japanese and becomes pretty decent at speaking and reading it.

*)(er and Donnie often like to geek out together whenever they find anything new about aliens (both species they haven't seen yet and ones they know well like the kraang).

*End of the mini April cluster!!!

*Kirby O'Neil is a pretty decent cook. That man can make a mean chicken stew.

*Shinigami actually owns multiple cats. 2 ragdoll, 1 sphinx, 1 Persian, and 3 British shorthairs (I could name them all, but I don't wanna). Also, the majority of them are black cats. She feeds strays, too.

*The last headcanon is much to Karai's dismay because she is somewhat allergic. She gets headaches, her skin gets slightly irritated and she gets the sniffles if she's around cats for too long.

*Casey's younger sister wants to be a hair stylist when she grows up, so Jones let's her do his hair every once in a while and he flexes it to every one at the lair like: "Oh? My hair? Yeah, my sister did it for me. Pretty metal, what she did with it, right?"

*Tigerclaw is the only Foot Clan member to not bully Baxter Stockman.

*Someone manipulated and lied to Alopex in order to make her hate and hunt down her brother.

*After season 4, Baxter Stockman leaves New York and takes over Stockman Industries. (If you're unaware of what that is, it's on billboards that the turtles pass throughout the show the most notable appearance being in the ending scene of the final season 4 episode, 'Owari'.)

*Slash deep down still misses The Newtralizer.

*Leatherhead kind of freaks out (apologies for the bad wording) when someone fully wraps their arms around his neck when hugging him because it reminds him of the restraints the Kraang put him in.

*Pigeon Pete learns how to bake so he can make his own bread.

*The turtles get a Wii (or whatever the universes equivalent is).

*Mondo Gecko gets an old Xbox and plays Tony )(awk games, Bully, and Twisted Metal on it.

*Ivan and Anton actually move out to New Jersey post show.

*Alr, that's all for now, toodles!!!

[rickrakontoys]

"Deadpool & Wolverine" (2024): 7/10

*no spoilers*

Generally amusing, with plenty of excessive bloody violence, potty mouth dialogue, and fun fan service-y references and cameos. Your entertainment value is proportional to your knowledge of the wider Fox-New Line Marvel movies, their behind-the-scenes drama, the current state of the MCU. I can see a lot of the gags going over the heads of the general audience.

Jackman and Reynolds have great chemistry together, giving us an unhinged odd couple, bad cop-badder cop vibe filled with stabbing and profanity. Jackman in particular delivers as a washed out mess of a Logan variant, and his redemption character arc is at the center of the movie. A lot of the film's biggest laughs come from this Wolverine's exasperation with Deadpool's verbal diarrhea.

The action scenes unfortunately lack the visceral edge of the previous two movies, and seems to try to make up for this lesser pizzazz with buckets of CGI blood, gore and needle-drops. Still, there are a few standout sequences that, despite their technical shortcomings, tickles the comic book nerd part of my brain just right. Wolverine and Deadpool fight each other on more than one occassion, with each bout reaching such absurdly violent heights as to evoke slapstick comedy.  A oner towards the end seems to gleefully homage Oldboy.

The plot feels underwritten, tonally inconsistent, and mostly serves as an excuse for fights and multiversal cameos. Attempts to add emotional depth in between Wade Wilson's zany antics don't always land. Scenes between the action tend to drag heavily. Characters too often just stand around in a room spouting exposition or jokes in the plainest manner. Shawn Levy's blocking of scenes is too flat and uninteresting, and a step down from Tim Miller and David Leitch's previous two 'pools. Even with occassional splashes of vibrant color (chiefly from Wolverine's yellow suit), scenes look washed out, lacking depth or contrast.  Thankfully the juvenile humor and gratuitous violence keeps it from being too dull, though even that eventually gets a little grating.

But clearly, no one is watching a movie called "Deadpool and Wolverine" for the plot or emotional depth. They're here to see Hugh Jackman finally don a comic accurate Wolverine suit and team up with Deadpool on a multiverse adventure. On that, it mostly delivers.

The movie often feels like a bittersweet farewell to the Fox-Marvel franchise. Something could be said of how the movie reckons with the ethics of having a powerful entity deciding which universes can live or die, how some things deemed purposeful are elevated while other things thrown out to "the trash heap" to be forgotten. It doesn't explore these themes so much as it uses the idea as an excuse for gags and jabs at both Disney and Fox (Reynolds gets away with a lot). This is definitely the most "meta" Deadpool movie, for better or worse.

But it's a silly good time nonetheless. And the cameos in the movie are actually fun and not gratuitous, with a tinge of melancholy... a farewell to a tumultuous franchise.

Will it hold up to scrutiny after the excitement of all the surprise cameos dies down? Not too sure... It doesn't feel like a natural progression of the Deadpool franchise. Like "No Way Home" was for Tom Holland's Spider-Man, it stops the series' general plotline for a cynical ploy to appeal to nostalgia, rather than be a real sequel to Deadpool 2 (heck most of the characters from DP2 are absent, and his usual supporting cast is sidelined immediately... except Peter). That doesn't mean it's not fun. Reynolds gets his Hugh Jackman team-up movie. But you could feel the corporate franchise milking behind it all. Just because Reynolds keeps making self-aware quips about Disney's greed and exploitiveness of IP doesnt make it okay.

[not-really-a-writer]

Just Another Day

Summary: Each year, Love Day is just another day for you... that is, until a sweet clone trooper comes into your life.❤️❤️

Clone trooper Kix x reader

Warnings: NON CANON HOLIDAY "LOVE❤️ DAY" stuff and concepts (It's basically Valentines' Day y'all) fluff, dating/new relationship dynamics. Kix is a sweeeeeetheart and that's my hc till i die!

If you had remembered what day it was today, then you certainly wouldn't have worn your red sweater. You would have worn anything else. Literally anything else but that.

But it was too late to go back home and change. You brace yourself as you enter your office tower in the city. While on the transit train, you couldn't help but be bombarded by ads and displays along the way - Constant reminders of the special day it was today. A day that you had forgotten.

It wasn't hard to remember. The corporations made sure of that. Rather, it was easy for you to forget because the day bore no special significance to you.

Love Day was a day meant to celebrate romantic love on your planet. It wasn't meant only for couples, who proudly wore red to signify their taken status - singles got in on it too, as the day was also a fun day for those who were 'ready to mingle' to advertise openly without shame by donning green clothing. Those in more complicated relationship statuses wore yellow to signify 'proceed with caution'...and those who were less inclined to advertise their relationship status always wore neutral colors on Love Day.

So ironically, you trudge into your office, red sweater announcing to the world: Stop! I'm taken. But you weren't.

There was someone. But you weren't together, exactly.

----

Months ago, the 501st made stop on your planet. Their blue and white armor wasn't a completely unusual sight. There were always clone battalions coming and going from the city during the war. Your planet's close proximity to Coruscant and its manufacturing and ship repair facilities made it a popular stop for Republic forces rotating to and from the battlefront.

So on one particular day during your lunch break, you noticed one of them in your office tower’s ground floor cafe with you. Sitting to observe, you saw him for the first time - the man you eventually learned was named Kix.

It took some time sitting there, quietly watching him, but you did gain enough courage to talk to him. He was taking an unusually long time going through the caf garnishes at the cafe. Perhaps he was unfamiliar with the syrups and creamers available for self-service and needed some help. You can't imagine that the Republic provided anything but the basic dirty-water tasting caf available for the clones. You wanted to show him how good it could be.

"So uh.... do you need some help?" you asked shyly, giving him your friendliest smile. Kix turned to you with his mouth full of something to say, but he just smiled instead. A quiet "Maybe" escaped his lips, the warm cafe lights reflected in the darkness of his bourbon-hued eyes.

"That one's rather plain," you had said, motioning toward the syrup bottle next to his hand.

"Really? It looks good though," he replied, turning back to you with that dazzling smile.

This earned a small laugh from you. "Well, you can't go just by looks. You gotta taste it first," you had said, reaching for a stir stick. Gently taking the bottle from his hand, you squeezed out a few drops onto the stick. You balance the thick syrup on the flat part of the stick and bring it up to his lips.

Maintaining his smirk, Kix took the stick into his mouth, tasting the syrup that you called 'rather plain.'

"It's good!"

"You don't think it's kind of plain?"

"Hmmm.. wait till you try this one!"

... and so went your afternoon. Chatting away and learning things about each other.

And one afternoon turned into two. And then three. And five. And then it became a regular thing where you would see each other whenever he was on your planet. And then you talked while he was away.

But you never agreed on anything official. You knew you had feelings for him. But did he have feelings for you? You weren't sure.

----

"Ohh, someone's got a boyfriend?" You hear one of your coworkers tease. Oh the joys of working being slightly older than your coworkers. They always seem immature.

"Yeah. I forgot what day it was," you toss over your shoulder. A phrase you had prepared on the tip of your tongue the moment you realized you had made a mistake in your wardrobe choice today.

You make your way to your desk, and your cubicle mate, Korr, turns when they notice you. Closer to them than you were with your other coworkers, they lean over to you before speaking. "So, are you and that guy... official now?" they ask. "Oh... no..," you mutter. "We're not like that. We haven't had that talk yet," you admit.

You had never had a real boyfriend before. And you weren't sure how things transitioned from dating into a real relationship. So this was all uncharted territory for you. And it made you uneasy. So you never brought it up with Kix no matter how much you wanted to. And you had wanted to since you knew Love Day was coming up. If you had someone this year, it would be the first time that happened in your life. It would have been perfect timing since Kix was on your planet just the week prior.

The work day goes on, and you continue to be assaulted by prying questions from your coworkers. "Doing anything special tonight with your boyfriend?" and "Awww, did he do anything sweet for you today?" and "What do you have planned for this evening?" All questions you had no answers to since you didn't actually have someone special. Today was just another day, you thought. You and Korr work in silence together. They knew you well enough to respect your privacy.

The long morning dragged until early afternoon when you finally take a break for lunch to the cafe on the ground floor of your tower - the place where you had met Kix. Upon returning from lunch you notice something on your desk. As you approach, you see a cloud of delicate blossoms gathered in a vase centered on your workstation. Korr lets you know they were delivered to your desk while you were downstairs at the cafe.

"Curious..." you mutter, thinking this must be a joke from your coworkers.

The blossoms give off a lovely perfume, an exotic scent as beautiful as the planet of their origin. These were no ordinary blossoms. You retrieve the note to see what you're sure is someone else's name. Someone who's cubicle number closely matches yours which would explain the mis-delivery. Who would give you such an ornate gift for Love Day of all days?

You open the small envelope attached to the vase and see a handwritten note from someone familiar to you:

Hey Sweetheart. Sorry I couldn't be there for Love Day. I wanted to give these to you in person. Thanks for making my life special. I can't wait to see you again. I hope these make your day a little brighter - Kix

A warm feeling spreads across your chest and your eyes begin to brim with happy tears. No one had ever done anything so sweet for you on Love Day or any other day for that matter. No one had ever called you a pet name like "sweetheart" before. No one had ever told you that you made their life special, or that they couldn't wait to see you again. Is this what it is like to be loved?

You wipe your tears before anyone sees, and settle down at your desk to get back to work. Korr says nothing because they know you're just as surprised as they are. But you can tell they are happy for you.

And you were happy for yourself as well. What a surprise it was to know that someone special was thinking of you on Love Day, even when you had forgotten. Suddenly you feel a little more confident in your red sweater. Turns out it was a special day after all.

[aragarna]

Oooh, fun ! SO ! Zorro OR White Collar ? Sergeant Garcia OR Corporal Reyes ? Don Alejandro OR Captain Monastorio ? DW!Bernardo OR 2024!Bernardo ? Cats OR dogs ? TV Series OR Films ? Books OR adaptations ? Star Trek OR Star Wars ? Annnd I'll stop there or I'll write so much more. As I said before... FUN ! x) Thank you, and take care !

AAAAAH how dare you attack me like that? XD

Zorro or White Collar? I'm afraid I'm gonna have to say White Collar. It was, is and will forever be my #1 show. I've loved it dearly, I still have just as much pleasure rewatching it, for the millionth time. I've lived some amazing times, which are unlikely to happen again - I've been to the set, met other fans, made friends, met the crew, and of course, met the cast. It was such a great experience and I'll cherish it forever.

Garcia or Reyes? But they come as a pair! Would you separate Laurel from Hardy? Asterix from Obelix? Peter from Neal? But I suppose, if you force my hand, I'll say Sergeant Garcia. He's a bit more developed as a character, while Reyes is mostly just there for comic relief. I do like Sergeant Garcia. He's often put in a complicated situation, stuck between a tyrannic boss and a jokster outlaw who makes fun of him. But he is truly a good man.

Don Alejandro or Captain Monastario? Alejandro I suppose. Monastario is a great villain, a great opponent for Zorro, but he's a terrible human being.

1957!Bernardo or 2024!Bernardo? Hmmm that's a tough question. I honestly can't say. I love them both, they both have a lovely relationship with their respective Diego. Maybe I'll go with 1957!Bernardo, cause I like his cunning way to use everyone's stupid prejudice toward his handicap against them. Oh he's deaf and mute, he must be stupid. He's harmless. Fools, all fools!

Cats or dogs? Indifferent, to be honest. Not really a pet person. Shocking, I know, sorry!

TV shows or films? Fun facts: for the longest time (until 2005-ish) I rarely watched any TV. But I have to admit that lately it seems TV has become more interesting, more daring, that the US film industry. French industry is blooming though. I'd say films, for the appreciation of the real art of filmmaking. TV shows for comfort and quiet obsession.

Books or Adaptations? Most of the time, books, though there has been cases of good adaptations (The Martian, for instance), or even, adaptations that were better than the book (Minority Report)

Star Trek or Star Wars? I'll go with Star Wars, mostly because I'm more familiar with it. Because I grew up with the prelogy. Because Obiwan and Andor. While I've only seen the 2 JJ Abrams Star Trek movies...

Sorry I took so long to answer. I had a long week (and you asked a lot LOL). Also, would love to know who you are, Anon, so that I can ask you back. ;-)

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Jesse Duquette, The Daily Don   ::  [Scott Horton]

* * * *

How Murdoch steamrolled Tucker

LUCIAN K. TRUSCOTT IV ::  APR 25, 2023

Rupert Murdoch is 92 years old, and everyone just finished making fun of his brief engagement to conservative radio host Lesley Ann Smith, the ex-wife of California railroad heir John B. Huntington.  The engagement lasted just two weeks.  Murdoch has been married four times, the last time to Jerry Hall, model and ex-wife of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger.  That marriage lasted six years.  Murdoch reportedly told Hall he was divorcing her in an email.

Murdoch’s marital history is particularly interesting when you consider his recent divorce from Fox host Tucker Carlson.  That’s the way I think of Carlson’s departure from his seven-year career at Fox.  When Rupert decides it’s over, it’s over.  Here’s an excerpt from his email to his former wife: “Jerry, sadly I’ve decided to call an end to our marriage,” The Guardian reported. “We have certainly had some good times, but I have much to do.”

You get that?  It was good while it lasted, six years with those cameras flashing at the world’s wealthiest media-mogul with his supermodel on his arm, but now he was finished.  Moving on.  Busy man.

You don’t want to get on the bad side of Rupert Murdoch.  You don’t even want to be on his good side, because as his marriages and latest engagement prove, once he decides it’s time to pull the ripcord, you’re in the wind.

It’s been the same with his business empire.  It’s easy to forget that Murdoch was once just an Australian newspaper owner with big eyes to get off that gigantic island-continent and make his way in the wider world.  His first big move, way back in the 60’s, was to expand into Great Britain, buying the News of the World and the Sun.  Next was New York City, where he established a beachhead in 1976 by buying New York Magazine and the Village Voice in a hostile takeover.  I wrote about that battle for the late-lamented New Times magazine, and I have to say that I watched slack jawed as Murdoch steamrolled Clay Felker, the magazine genius who had created New York Magazine and then combined it with the downtown alternative paper I had worked for, the Voice.  Murdoch charmed, threatened, and walked over or past the board of New York Magazine, getting one after another of them on his side until he was able to, in a single sweep of paperwork and investment banking magic, make Felker’s mini-empire his.  The New York Post was next, followed by his purchase of the prestigious London broadsheet, The Times.

He became an American citizen in 1985 and set out on another buying spree, this time buying Twentieth Century Fox.  He used the Fox brand to buy up a small television network, Metromedia, which he transformed into the Fox channel.  In the early 90’s, the Fox channel began carrying original programing.  Then he formed the British broadcasting company, BSkyB.  In 1996, Murdoch started Fox News on cable, and in 2007, his holding company, News Corporation, bought the Wall Street Journal, which he had coveted since the days when he took over New York Magazine.

If you owned anything that published in print, made movies for the big screen, or broadcast shows on network or cable television, you were a target.  Murdoch hit more than he missed.  By last year, he was worth $21.7 billion and was the world’s 31st wealthiest man.  

Fox News became a cash cow for the Murdoch empire, taking in about $12 billion a year in recent years.  It’s money Murdoch earned by feeding a ravenous horde of conservative viewers a steady diet of right-wing red meat around the clock.  Fox News long ago ceased being a real news network and simply went into the business of raw propaganda with its wink-and-a-nod motto, “Fair and Balanced.”

Tucker Carlson became one of the channel’s biggest revenue generators with his nightly spew of conspiracy theories, racist garbage like “the great replacement theory,” paeons to authoritarianism with his worship of Hungary’s Victor Orban – Carlson even took his show there for an entire week in 2021, and produced a rabidly antisemitic documentary on the country last year called “Hungary vs. Soros: Fight for Civilization.”

All of this was fine and dandy for Rupert Murdoch as long as Tucker kept the bucks coming.  Carlson warmly embraced Trump’s Big Lie, beginning when Trump lost the election in 2020.  The Big Lie was a feature of his show almost nightly for the next two-plus years.  Carlson’s show featured many of the right-wing loons who made the allegations against Dominion Voting Systems that were defamatory – Rudolph Giuliani, Sidney Powell and many others.  Tucker sat there and listened to them spew their lies night after night, nodding and giving his patented look of puzzled curiosity.  But asking questions and looking puzzled wasn’t a defense when Dominion sued for defamation.  That lawsuit ended up costing Murdoch a whole lot of money, $787.5 million to be exact, when Fox News settled the suit without a court fight last week.

There has been a ton of speculation about why Carlson was fired yesterday morning, much of it settling on emails written by Carlson that were revealed by the Dominion suit.  Many of his emails were embarrassing to the network, and thus to Murdoch, as Carlson wrote repeatedly that he didn’t believe a word of the garbage he was putting out on his show about the Big Lie that Trump won the election.

The L.A. Times reported yesterday that sources inside Fox say that Murdoch himself was upset by some of Carlson’s emails that were not released by the Dominion lawsuit because they didn’t bear on its defamation claim.  These emails instead gave an insight into what Carlson thought about Fox management, according to the L.A. Times.

“Fox management” is one man:  Rupert Murdoch.  Carlson is said to have written some nasty stuff about lesser Fox figures such as CEO Suzanne Scott.  Murdoch doesn’t care about Suzanne Scott.  He doesn’t care if Tucker Carlson thinks Scott is incompetent or unlikable.  What Rupert Murdoch cares about is being considered a Big Man Media Mogul and making money.

The Dominion lawsuit, much of it caused by the statements made on Carlson’s nightly show, brought Murdoch low in the eyes of his Big Man Media Mogul contemporaries, the guys – and they’re almost all guys – who show up every year at Herbert Allen’s Sun Valley Conference of media Big Men.  It’s a kind of summer camp in the mountains of Idaho for media moguls, among whom Murdoch was arguably the biggest.  Herbert Allen is the CEO of the investment bank, Allen & Company.  Murdoch goes way back with Herbert Allen and his investment bank.  He and his company handled Murdoch’s takeover of New York Magazine way back in 1976.  Murdoch doesn’t like it when you do something that lowers him in the eyes of “Herbie” Allen, as he is called, or any of the other media Big Men.

And he especially doesn’t like it when he can put a name on a loss of $787.5 million.  That name is Tucker Carlson, who thought that he was a Big Man because of the adoring hordes who watched his show every night and the millions he was paid for attracting them.  But he wasn’t a Big Man.  He was a worker bee in the sprawling Murdoch media empire, and now he’s a worker bee who got squashed by the Murdoch steamroller, as so many have been squashed before him.

Murdoch still owns the Fox empire.  Tucker Carlson owns his trust fund check as an heir to Swanson Frozen Foods, however much he managed to put away when he was riding high in the 8 o’clock slot on Fox News, and whatever he can squeeze out of Fox in his so-called exit package.  And he owns the stack of bills that are piling up from lawyers representing him in the sexual harassment lawsuit filed by former Fox producer Abby Grossman, because there is no doubt that in firing him, Rupert Murdoch severed Fox from Carlson in the Grossman lawsuit and is no longer paying his legal bills.

I often see businessmen like Murdoch referred to in the press as killers.  But Murdoch isn’t a killer.  He’s a taker.  He sees something he thinks he wants, like a magazine or a newspaper or a studio or a network, and he takes it and then he takes all the money it brings in.

Murdoch paid the legal fees for his four ex-wives, but he wasn’t married to Tucker Carlson.  Murdoch was once his employer, and he was happy to take the money Tucker earned for him, but he’s a busy man, and he moved on.

[Lucian Truscott Newsletter]

[ed-frankward]

Stephen Robinett's Projections

My last post was about a fake short story collection, but this post is about a real one.

I picked up this book from a massive online retailer (I prefer to support large corporations, morally speaking). It's a collection of 9 science fiction short stories from Stephen Robinett (who wrote under several pseudonyms, most notably Tak Hallus). I was interested in grabbing a copy because it contains "The Linguist", which features the idea of an illicit 'engram transplant' operation whereby knowledge is physically extracted from someone and implanted in someone else. In this case, we have knowledge of Spanish (or at least Spanish reading comprehension since the test for Spanish competency is reading Don Quixote...in Spanish), being extracted from a reluctant linguist and presumably sold to some college student.

Another favorite is "The Tax Man", which imagines a world in which the IRS is lavishly funded and income is taxed at 98%, but the wealthy still get all the benefits.

It's a fun collection of short stories. Robinett explores big ideas in small, grounded settings and does so in a comedic/satirical manner. You can find copies of many, if not all, of Robinett's (or Tak Hallus') short stories online in various place in case you are interested. I've reprinted a section from the first page of the introduction to this collection which I think highlights his tone well:

First the title of this book, Projections. The title comes from the book's longest story. That alone usually justifies putting it on the cover. In this case, the story's title also seemed to me the most appropriate for the collection. In one sense or another of the word, all stories are projections. They project events, characters and ideas onto the reader's imagination. They project aspects of the writer's personality, his characteristic stamp of mind, his view of the world and, if he has one, his moral sensibility. Projections are also things that stick out from other things and trip people but since you've already stumbled over this book somewhere or other, we'll skip that meaning.

(That's my cat in the picture. And my couch.)

[letsparty002]

Spread Holiday Cheer with Inflatable Santa Costumes: A Fun and Festive Twist on Tradition

The holiday season is synonymous with joy, laughter, and festive traditions. While classic decorations and seasonal music play a significant role, there's always room for a touch of whimsy and creativity. Enter the inflatable Santa costume – a playful and eye-catching twist on the traditional Santa attire that is sure to turn heads and spread holiday cheer in a lighthearted way.

Unleashing the Spirit of Santa in Style:

Gone are the days when dressing up as Santa meant donning a traditional red suit and a faux white beard. The inflatable Santa costume takes the jolly old man's look to new heights – literally! These costumes feature a built-in fan that inflates the outfit, transforming the wearer into a larger-than-life, huggable Santa Claus. Imagine the delight on the faces of children and adults alike as Santa strolls into the room, bringing the festive spirit to life in an unexpected and amusing manner.

Comfort Meets Festivity:

One might assume that an inflatable costume sacrifices comfort for the sake of novelty, but quite the opposite is true. Constructed from lightweight and breathable materials, these costumes ensure that the wearer can comfortably embody the essence of Santa throughout holiday gatherings, parties, and events. The built-in fan not only keeps the costume inflated but also provides a flow of fresh air, preventing any discomfort during extended wear.

Stand Out in the Crowd:

In a sea of traditional holiday attire, an inflatable santa suit is guaranteed to make a statement. Whether it's worn at a family gathering, an office party, or a community event, this unique twist on the classic Santa outfit ensures that the wearer becomes the center of attention. The whimsical nature of the costume is an instant mood lifter, spreading laughter and joy wherever Santa goes.

Perfect for Festive Events and Parades:

Imagine the impact of a fleet of inflatable Santa Clauses marching in unison during a festive parade. Inflatable Santa costumes are perfect for community events, holiday parades, and charitable activities. The larger-than-life appearance adds a sense of spectacle to the occasion, creating memorable moments for onlookers of all ages.

Interactive Fun for All Ages:

Beyond their visual appeal, inflatable Santa costumes invite interactive fun. Children and adults alike are drawn to the playful nature of these costumes, making them ideal for photo opportunities, selfies, and impromptu dance sessions. The whimsy of a dancing, inflatable Santa is infectious, creating a festive atmosphere wherever the costume makes an appearance.

Easy to Wear, Easy to Store:

Donning an inflatable Santa costume is a breeze. Most designs feature a simple one-piece construction with an easy-to-use zipper, allowing the wearer to step in and out effortlessly. Additionally, these costumes are compact when deflated, making them easy to store for the next holiday season. The compact size also facilitates hassle-free transportation, allowing Santa to make surprise appearances wherever the festive spirit is needed.

Customization for Personalized Cheer:

Inflatable Santa costumes come in various styles and designs, allowing wearers to choose the one that best fits their personality or the theme of the event. Some costumes even feature LED lights, adding an extra layer of festive magic during evening events. From classic Santa red to playful and colorful variations, the options for customization ensure that every inflatable Santa is a unique embodiment of holiday cheer.

A Hit at Office Parties and Corporate Events:

Office holiday parties often call for a creative and entertaining touch. Inflatable Santa costumes provide the perfect solution for injecting fun into corporate gatherings. Imagine the joy and laughter as colleagues see their boss or coworkers donning these whimsical outfits, creating a lighthearted and memorable atmosphere that fosters team spirit and camaraderie.

[lilartifex]

Ink and Fictober 2023 Day #4: "Do you even know what this means?"

Inktober Prompt #4: Dodge

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Fandom: Original Work

Character/s: Bunch o' random superhero + villain OCs made solely for this story.

Additional Tags: Superheroes, Villains, OCs, Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Based on a Tumblr Post (which I now cannot find :') )

Summary: Everyone just has one of those days. You know, those days where everything just gets weirder and weirder and your luck gets worse and worse. In this case, it means a trio of villains-who-aren't-really-villains and a pair of superheroes whose Corporate office decides they want to try out a new strategy. This goes about as well as most Corporate plans when the head honchos have never actually had their feet on the ground.

Quick Note: This is probably the closest thing to crack-writing that I’ve ever written. I have six assignments due over about four weeks. Let me have my goofy story. :3

___

People become villains for all kinds of reasons.

Sometimes it’s for monetary gain. Sometimes it’s to stick it to the man. But sometimes, it’s because of a deep-rooted trauma through years of mistreatment, scorn or abuse at the hands of a cruel world that deserves to burn for eternity for what it has done.

And then sometimes it’s just because it’s fun. And a way to cause chaos when nothing seems to be going right for you, so you’re out to make it everyone else’s problem.

That was mostly what motivated Miss Behave. The city called her a villain. She preferred the term vigilante.

See, most people, if they had superpowers at all, just had these basic little quirks that made everyday life a tiny bit easier. Maybe they could carry twenty shopping bags at a time. Maybe they could run at fifty kilometres per hour and were efficient at daily coffee runs. Maybe they had just enough telepathic strength to stop their hot tea from spilling onto the person beside them and avoid the awkward apologies and social interaction that followed.

Miss Behave didn’t have that. Instead, she was cursed with continuous bad luck, which could only be curbed by redirecting it onto someone else. In school or at work that wasn’t too bad. She could make her lazy coworker deal with all the worst customers, or make her least-favourite teachers’ technology throw a fit all day.

But when she got to university, she found it hard to redirect her powers onto anyone. Her fellow classmates were suffering the same way she was, her lecturers were actually really decent people, and she didn’t have the heart to torture her already-stressed-out coworkers who were, more often than not, in the same boat as her.

So, she decided to redirect it onto people who made the world a crummier place by donning a costume and skipping along buildings on her nights off. It wasn’t her fault that she just so happened to accidentally do it to a few local superheroes who had now convinced the media that she was a menace. They just got in the way and then had their super-suits turn bright pink in the wash. They should’ve been more careful.

Now though, Miss Behave was certain that she mustn’t have been using her powers enough because tonight she and her little team were facing two new superheroes whom they’d never seen before. And on a Monday night, too.

“GEEZ! Freaky, watch where you throw that thing!” screeched her teammate, Brain Freeze.

Their other teammate, The Freak (AKA, “Freaky”) launched another brick at his assailant. “Oi! Do you have any idea how hard it is to control Gorilla arms?” he shouted back. “These things weigh a tonne!”

Miss Behave rolled her eyes.

Freaky could shapeshift, which, in itself was a pretty unusual ability. But when it was coupled with the fact that he could only shapeshift parts of his body and had pretty poor balance even without it, there’s little wonder he was kicked out of the Hero Program. Meanwhile, Brain Freeze could, well, freeze stuff. A pretty minor power, until he sneezed. And considering his almost constant allergies, life wasn’t exactly easy for him either.

The two heroes they were facing were a mentor-sidekick duo dressed in matching reds, oranges and yellows. Brain Freeze and Freaky were doing battle with the mentor, a tall guy called ‘Sunflare’. Miss Behave was facing off on her own against the sidekick, a brunette called Redflame. The names were kind of a giveaway to their powers, but she hadn’t actually seen either of them use them yet. The fight so far had been completely physical. And, other than the heroes’ initial introductions, strangely silent.

Miss Behave glanced up and noticed a small awning above them. It was weighed down with water that had accumulated during the afternoon showers, creating a dip right above where Redflame was standing. Redflame. Water.

Miss Behave shrugged. Easy enough.

She knocked the hero on her backside and concentrated, squishing her face into what Freaky called her ‘About To Mess Crap Up’ face. There was a nasty tearing sound and the awning above Redflame tore open, as if it had been waiting for a while and chosen this moment to inconveniently give way. Which it pretty much had.

Miss Behave grinned as Redflame glanced up sharply, realising the danger she was in. Then she raised a hand and the water just - stopped. It floated above her in mid-air like some sort of freakish bubble.

Redflame froze, realising what she’d done. “Oh, heck.”

Miss Behave recognised that voice. And those powers. “Wait a minute,” she cried in disbelief, “That you under there, Wavelet?”

Redflame hesitated. “Uh… no?”

Miss Behave was only vaguely aware of her teammates’ shouts as they were hurtled out of the way by a wave of water behind her. She was too busy staring at her nemesis in absolute bewilderment.

“It is!” she gawked. “What the Hell? So he must be -”

“Riptide,” came a deep, sour voice behind her. She whirled around, fist flying, but the older hero caught her wrist easily. Now that she was much closer, Miss Behave wondered why on Earth none of them had recognised the pair before. They were two of the most prominent heroes in the city and the only ones she and her teammates fought regularly. True, they were both dressed in completely opposite aesthetics and had different names, but still.

God, she was an awful nemesis. Even the fact that he had disarmed both her teammates and now had her in his iron grip couldn’t shake off her surprise.

“Why?” she managed, staring at him with wide eyes. “I just… WHY?”

“New strategy from the High Ups,” said Redflame - Wavelet - before her mentor could chime in. She’d always been talkative, even for a superhero. “They got it in their heads that we should give rebranding a go. Try and make ourselves out to be the opposite of what we actually are.”

“... Okay, I can see that,” said Miss Behave slowly, “But why?” At this point, she figured that the more she kept them talking, the more chance there was of her teammates getting their act together and getting her out of this mess. Also, she did genuinely want to know what was going on.

“To confuse our enemies,” said Wavelet monotonously, as if she was repeating memorised lines from a script.

Miss Behave had no idea what to say to that. But she had to keep talking, so she said the only thing she could think of, “Er… good for you guys, I guess?”

“‘Good for you guys’?” Riptide burst out. “Do you even know what this means?”

Mis Behave was taken aback by the normally calm hero’s outburst. “Um…”

“It means,” exclaimed Riptide with the air of someone who’d been waiting all day to complain, “That people expect me to set things on fire. With my WATER powers.”

Before she could reply, there was a shout from the street down below.

“Sunflare!” cried a shrill voice. “Sunflare, help! Brain Freeze’s blasts trapped my car in ice!” Miss Behave had a vague recollection of one of her friend’s stray blasts landing down there somewhere. “You need to get rid of it! My taxes pay your wages, you know!”

“AND WHAT THE HELL D’YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?” roared Riptide. “THAW IT OUT SLOWLY WITH LUKEWARM WATER?”

Miss Behave gawked at him.

“He’s… having a day,” explained Wavelet apologetically.

“Right - Wave - uh - Redflame,” growled Riptide, hastily correcting himself, “You deal with this one. I’ll sort out… that.” He spun Miss Behave around and disappeared over the building, sliding down what she assumed must be a PVC pipe.

And that left Miss Behave and Wavelet staring at eachother.

“So…” Miss Behave began awkwardly. “Bad day at the office?”

Wavelet glared at her. “Oh come on! As if you don’t already know!”

Miss Behave blinked. “What?”

“You!” Wavelet flapped her hand at her. “You and your little… Bad Luck powers. You did this to us last time, didn’t you? Cursed us with your… thing.”

“Me? I didn’t do this.” Miss Behave’s day was just getting weirder and weirder. What the heck were they putting in superheroes’ diets these days? Unfiltered drugs or something? “Why would I curse you for something you did on - when was our last battle?”

“Wednesday.”

“Wednesday! Seriously.” Miss Behave shook her head. “You two are annoying, but you’re not THAT annoying.”

Wavelet stared at her. “But I - we thought all this was happening because of you!” she cried helplessly. “And we figured we were sent out to fight you because you’d used your powers or something to manipulate the Patrol Roster so you could gloat at us about your dastardly evil plans for the city and then world domination!”

“... You’ve really overthought this, haven’t you?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

Miss Behave sighed and shrugged apologetically. “Yeah, sorry my dude, but that just happens. Corporate be like that sometimes.”

The sidekick stared at her for a moment longer. “You mean we could’ve just pulled a sickie and let someone else fall for the ‘swapping personas’ thing?”

“Yep.”

“Ughhhhhhhhh,” Wavelet moaned dramatically. She glanced down at her mentor, who was still trying to explain to a Karen that no, he could not thaw out an entire car with lukewarm water in under five minutes, and yes, the Superhero Initiative would be sure to cover all costs for the damages.

Miss Behave took the opportunity to glance over her shoulder, where her teammates were starting to get to their feet with a lot of grumbling and groaning. They had a lecture tomorrow, Miss Behave realised, and she hadn’t done the readings.

“You know,” Wavelet said hesitantly, “I think it’s safe to say we’re all just done with today. If I take him-” She jerked a thumb at her mentor below “-home, will you three call it an early night too?”

“Yeah,” said Miss Behave, thinking of her readings, “We will. We’re kinda done too.”

“M’kay, good.” Wavelet hesitated. “But don’t think we’ll let you off next time,” she added quickly. “This is just a one-time thing. Next time we’re back to fighting and there won’t be any breaks. We’re gonna actually arrest you.”

“Sure you will,” yawned Miss Behave absently. “Like you have every other time.”

Wavelet scrunched her nose but didn’t reply. With a last weary wave, she summoned a small stream of water from the air around her and slid down to collect her mentor.

Brain Freeze and Freaky finally managed to pull themselves to their feet and made their way over to Miss Behave. They had clearly heard everything. And they were arguing, as usual.

“I’m just saying,” said Brain Freeze as they approached, “That it wouldn’t be too bad a strategy. Nobody would be able to keep track of their powers and guess their weaknesses until they actually saw them in action. No point in giving away vital information in the very word people use to identify you, is there?”

“It would only last until people started seeing their powers in action,” Freaky reminded him. “Then it wouldn’t matter what they were called. Everyone would know it’s the opposite.”

“They could change their names and appearances regularly,” reasoned Brain Freeze.

“Yeah, but the branding, Brain, think about the branding,” argued Freaky. “How would anyone franchise them if they did that?”

“C’mon guys,” Miss Behave moaned. “I’ve had enough tonight. And I’ve got readings to do. Let’s just go home.”

༝ ˚ ｡⟡ ｡ ˚ ༝

Down below, Wavelet had convinced Riptide that they were done for the night and that the Initiative probably wouldn’t mind if they called in and said their new ‘strategy’ was a bust. She’d reassured him that the villains had managed to escape tonight, although it might be a while before they tried anything again.

He’d managed to calm the Karen down enough for the pair of them to slip off, but as they were about to go Wavelet caught the sound of voices drifting down from the rooftop above. She paused to listen.

“Yeah, I’m done too,” came The Freak’s voice. “Pizza at my place?”

“I’m just saying, it’s not a half-bad plan!” That was Brain Freeze. “Better than how I got MY name, anyway.”

A snort. “Brain, you chugged an entire Macca’s slushie and then got a two-minute brain freeze.” Miss Behave. Wavelet’s ears perked up. “If that isn’t deserving of a name, I don’t know what is.”

“I hate you guys.”

Wavelet listened as their footsteps slowly moved away, before turning to catch up with her mentor.

As she fell into step with him, she had to duck her head to hide her grin.

[doyl1st]

It's no secret that Isaac can be a stubborn mule of a man. When he really wants to, he can dig his heels in deep and be an absolute nightmare to deal with; he'll kick and scream, absolutely launch anything that isn't nailed to the fucking floor. Compliance only comes when he wants it to but luckily, at the moment, he's feeling pretty amenable. Shaking down some lowlifes sounds like fun.

"Hm." He puffs a breath out his puggish nose and cracks a grin, a genuine one. "That's funny, you know. Asking a thief for help reclaiming something stolen?"

Though the irony is plain to see, Isaac would like to think of himself as an entirely separate creature from your average pickpocket. He's aware that he's no Robin Hood or Don Diego, but his targets were either corporations, or men so corrupt their money dripped with blood. Never, ever a seemingly ordinary professor.

"I'm willing, Doctor, but I'm afraid I need to ask one more thing of you. Talk these dickheads in blue into letting me out of their sight, and I'll be at your service."

Come on now, keep it together, Song. Just a quick little retrieval mission and he'd be out of her hair and she'd be off to the next nebu-oh, what did it matter where she was off to anyway. The important thing was that she'd have what she'd come for.

She let out a breath, that calm, collected facade sliding neatly back into place, a cool reply of, ❝ That's all you want? You know, I really was expecting you to put up more of an argument, ❞ slipping off the tip of her tongue as it did. ❝ Fine. It's nothing really, more of a sentimental trinket. But I really do hate it when people take my things. I'm sure you'd agree, Doctor Doyle? ❞ 

Not a lie per se, but definitely a half truth. The trinket they'd taken was harmless bric-a-brac in the hands of those who didn't know its true nature. ❝ So, now that I've answered your question. How about it? Do we have an understanding? ❞ 

[laughing-with-god]

The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)

Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)

Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook

Word Count; 5.4k

Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.

Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.

Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.

The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.

The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.

Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.

He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.

This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.

Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.

But there was only one problem with this scene.

That was your husband, Jungkook.

And that woman in his arms was not you.

As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.

Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.

“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.

Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”

Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.

“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.

You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.

His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.

It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.

Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.

Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.

“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.

A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.

Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.

Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.

“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.

You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.

“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.

You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”

Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”

She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.

“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”

“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.

“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.

Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.

“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.

“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”

The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”

Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.

Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.

The ball was finally in your court.

Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.

“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.

“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”

Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.

He didn’t even spare you a glance.

You wanted to be angry.

You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.

But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.

Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?

Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.

Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.

Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.

Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”

You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.

“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”

You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”

Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”

And there it was.

The big question.

Did you truly even care about this marriage?

Well, let’s look at the facts.

One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.

Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.

Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.

Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.

But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.

The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.

Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.

You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”

You didn’t say anything.

Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.

However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.

You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”

“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”

Jin nodded but seemed unsure.

You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.

Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.

Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.

To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?

It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.

Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.

Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.

To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.

Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.

You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.

Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.

“Did you see her?”

“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”

“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”

“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.

You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.

It was Sana.

“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”

“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”

“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”

“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”

Cruel laughter from all of them.

The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.

“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”

Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.

A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.

Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.

“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”

Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.

“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.

They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.

“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”

Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”

--

Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.

You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.

You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”

You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.

Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.

Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.

Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.

When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.

“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.

“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.

You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”

Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.

You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.

Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.

Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.

“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.

‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.

“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”

“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.

Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.

“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.

Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.

All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.

A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.

Should you expose your son to your future plan?

The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.

“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.

“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.

“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.

“Like a va-vayca-”

“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.

“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”

The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.

“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”

The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”

Your heart broke.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.

“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”

“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”

“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”

“Like spies?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”

You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.

“Promise.”

Author’s Note:  So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next.  The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life.  Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ.  Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol.  This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments.  Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.

Big thanks to @sushireads​ once again for creating the cover art for this fic.  They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.

And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop​! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic.  They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar.  They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while.  I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.  

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

L.I.E.!

as the heir of mikage corporation, reo’s used to being the one served hand-and-foot. but that doesn’t mean he’s opposed to pulling his own weight. doing chores doesn’t necessarily go his way though, once you start cooking up some ideas.

gender neutral reader

“This is embarrassing…”

You glanced up from where you were sorting out the trash, making sure not to wipe your forehead with the trash-stained gloves. That was a lesson you had learned the hard way a while back, when you first started taking up the job of cleaning around the Blue Lock facility.

“What do you mean? Weren’t you the one that said you wanted to help?” You asked, bunching the trash bag’s opening so you could glance over at the purple-haired boy without having everything spill onto the ground. The man of the hour himself, Mikage Reo, stood in the door frame with his knees glued together and a hint of a small frown on his face.

“Yeah…,” he mumbled. “I did say I wanted to help out, but this isn’t what I meant! I only wanted to do some work because my parents said it would be a good idea to see what all the servants and attendants around the house have to do…”

“And?” You quipped back.

Reo fidgeted in his spot a bit before sighing defeatedly. “It’s not the work I have an issue with! Nobody ever does chores in a maid outfit!”

He wasn’t wrong in stating that. When Reo came up to you one day, you were mildly surprised to hear him ask if he could help you with your chores around the Blue Lock facility. Maintaining the big building was a lot of work, and you really weren’t in a place to turn down an extra pair of hands to help you out.

Although you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t have a little bit of fun with Reo in the process though.

“What do you mean? Don’t the workers at your household have a uniform too? It’s just like that. I’ve seen your attendant dropping you off before, and she wears one alright,” you easily remarked. Reo gritted his teeth, tugging at the ends of his flimsy uniform before awkward shuffling over to where you were. Even when shoved into a situation he was unfamiliar with, you still commended him for at least going through with his word; he squatted down carefully and started sorting through the trash with you.

Maybe calling his outfit a proper uniform befitting that of a Mikage Corporation attendant would be unfair. Truth be told, the thin maid outfit you had prepared for Reo resembled more of a cheap Halloween costume more than anything else, and you were extremely tickled to see Reo actually put it on to help you rather than scrunch his nose and turn it down. And with all the grace of an elite corporation’s heir, he looked good in it too.

You stole a glance at him as he worked, admiring the way the young boy managed to charm you so easily despite doing so little. It was all too easy to reduce him to nothing but a boy who had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and covet him for his money, but it didn’t take much for you to be charmed by who he was as a person too. You had grown overly familiar with that ambitious glimmer in those brilliant purple eyes of his, a tell-tale indicator that an idea had popped into that noggin of his to cook up an ambitious plan. 

And it wasn’t just Reo’s quick thinking intelligence that drew you to him. Even now, when he was donning what was probably the world’s shittiest maid costume, he still looked elegant to you. Strands of his royal purple hair poked out from underneath the ivory white maid’s headpiece, framing the gentle curves of his face and drawing out the boyish tremble in his wide eyes. Every time he moved, the frilly hem of the uniform’s skirt hiked up a little, and you moved your gaze away respectfully from his bare legs. The lace-patterned gloves and stockings added a pretty feminine touch to the whole look, making him look more graceful than he did trashy. Even the heart-shaped cut-outs on the chest part of the piece accentuated his smooth skin and muscled body, combining both his youthful flair and mature style.

It was almost unfair how effortlessly sophisticated Reo could be, no matter the situation.

“There!” Reo announced, shaking you out of your dazed reverie. You quickly averted your gaze back down to your share of the trash, tying it with a practiced hand before getting ready to throw it down the chute. Reo carefully tied his bag together too, except he tied it into a cute bow matching his adorable uniform.

“That… wasn’t too bad! Was that all you needed me to do?” He asked, tossing the bag down the chute easily and turning to you with expectant eyes. Just as much as you were enamored and taken aback by the sweet boy, you still couldn’t ever pass up on an opportunity to try and make a fool out of your beloved Reo.

Hook.

“Well…,” you mumbled, pretending to look like you were thinking, “There is just one thing you need to do after you toss out the trash to make sure you did your job properly.”

Line. 

“Really?” Reo perked up. “What is it?”

And sinker. 

Flashing him the brightest and most innocent grin you could make, you bounced back and forth on your heel as you faced Reo. “You’re supposed to curtsy towards your supervisor and tell them ‘Thank you so much for watching over me, Master!’”

Reo deadpanned at you, and the slight grimace that overtook his face was unmistakable. For a split second, you genuinely thought that he was going to brush you off and go his way, but to your surprise. he swallowed back his hesitance and pinched the end of his skirt with his fingers.

“Uh… T-Thank you so much for watching over me, Master,” he breathed out. Dipping into a small bow, he looked up at you with such wide, pure eyes that you couldn’t help but clasp your hands to your heart.

Oh, he was just too cute for you to handle!

Beaming at him and beckoning at him to rise, you placed a hand on top of his head and gave his hair a light ruffle. 

“You’re very welcome, little maid!”

x

[justjensenanddean]

The Boys: How Jensen Ackles’ Soldier Boy “Shakes Things Up” in Season 3

After a lifetime of battling demons on Supernatural, Jensen Ackles is prepared the assume Soldier Boy's shield on The Boys season 3.

Jensen Ackles has been flirting with superherodom his entire career.

The Texas-born actor first became well known to TV audiences thanks to a handful of superhero adjacent roles in the early 2000s. First he portrayed super soldier Alec McDowell a.k.a. X5-494 on Fox’s ahead-of-its-time Dark Angel and then acted opposite none other than Superman as Lana Lang’s love interest Jason Teague on Smallville. He would go on to voice Jason Todd in animated film Batman: Under the Red Hood and the Dark Knight himself in Batman: The Long Halloween.

Of course, that’s not even to mention his most iconic role – that of the demon-hunting Dean Winchester on Supernatural, who alongside his brother Sam  was only a costume and grandiose name away from being a comic book supe.

With the arrival of The Boys season 3, however, Ackles is finally doing this superhero thing properly. Not only is he donning the mask, body armor, and shield of a superhero, he’s doing so as the very first superhero. In the continuity of The Boys, Soldier Boy was the Vought Corporation’s initial attempt at creating a superhuman. Think of him as the company’s version of Captain America, only with a harder edge.

In advance of The Boys season 3’s premiere on June 3, Ackles was nice enough to chat with Den of Geek about becoming Soldier Boy, working with Supernatural‘s Erick Kripke again, and the finer points of beard maintenance.

Read our Q&A with Ackles below and stay tuned for more exclusive details about The Boys season 3 later today.

Den of Geek: How did you convince your old Supernatural boss Eric Kripke to let you join The Boys’ team?

Jensen Ackles: I called him regarding something completely unrelated, and I think I closed the phone call with, “Hey Eric, when are you going to bring me over to The Boys? I want to kick some ass or something. Blow a dolphin, I don’t know, whatever they’re doing over there. Maybe I could help [The Deep] with some water park shit.” And he said, “That’s interesting, let me think about that.” We had a few more conversations, and that led to this.

I thought that was very apropos, coming right out of 15 years of a previous Eric Kripke world and diving right into another one. That had happened just before season two, and so I had seen season one. After watching season two and knowing Kripke the way that I do, I knew that he would just continue to level up. So I got very nervous at that point and I was like, “Oh great, what have I signed on for?”

What can you tell us about your character Soldier Boy?

He’s kind of the original superhero in this particular world, and we did get to see a little glimpse into that past. That was really fun to play and to dive into a bit. Obviously, bringing somebody who has experienced that world into the modern age, you can imagine, it was very similar to Grandpa still being around. What would he think of someone like Homelander or someone like Butcher? It was really fun to play an old man, so to speak. I’ve got to be honest, the beard was tough, though. I’ve never had more products for anything in my life than I had for that fuzz on my chin. But it was an interesting addition to what they already had, chemistry wise, in the super world. It was digging up this relic, essentially, and adding him back into the mix. It definitely shakes things up for season three.

What’s it like being The Boys’ answer to Captain America and being a man unstuck in time?

This ties a lot into the Soldier Boy storyline of this throwback to the old guard, essentially, and these people who have been sent out to pasture get wrangled up and sent back into the fray. It’s interesting, because it was never something that I thought about in watching season one or season two, that there would be an old guard, that these people do kind of age out of being in the spotlight. I thought that that was a really interesting commentary on society and on a lot of the entertainment industry as a whole. It’s like you have a peak, and then if you’re lucky, you can sustain that peak for as long as you possibly can, but I think that was a really interesting commentary on this superhero world, that you kind of get aged out and you get forgotten.

What can you tell us about Soldier Boy’s old crime-fighting team, Payback?

I thought they all did a fantastic job. [Payback] is all about: “What about us? Don’t forget about us. We’re still valid, right? We’re still here, we still have powers.” It’s like, “Yeah, but you’re old news. You’re not in the news cycle right now, nobody cares about you.” And that was an interesting take. Again: it goes to Kripke and his team, of just finding a way to have a commentary on such relevant things that are going on currently.

The world of The Boys is a big one and known for filming a lot of extra material for AR marketing purposes. Did you get to participate in any “extracurriculars” like that?

Not to give anything away, but there’s some old footage of Soldier Boy that we see on TV. Creating that content that we see, we didn’t just shoot a couple of seconds, which is probably all we see [in the show], we shot the whole thing. We did the entire story, which is insane to me, because it’s days of filming. Phil Sgriccia, who is somebody who I’ve a long relationship with—he was on Supernatural and now he’s on The Boys—when he showed up and he was like, “I got you for the next week,” I knew we were going to have a lot of fun. I was also like, “What are we doing this for?” And he just goes, “Amazon.”

The Boys season 3 premieres June 3 on Prime Video. You can read more exclusive details about the new season here.

denofgeek.com/tv/the-boys-season-3-jensen-ackles-soldier-boy/

[martian-martian-martian]

anyway mad men on the internet

don draper: identity theft is THAT EASY? also so much internet snooping and stalking on SCDP competitors. runs the official bland ass corporate website and hates every second of it. buys outrageous bad father apology gifts for the kids online. bobby gets a drone for SURE.

peggy olsen: obsessed with google docs and cloud saving because holy shit versus a typewriter can you imagine

joan: probably immediately becomes proficient in excel and Facebook Groups and event scheduling. posts inner office newsletter nobody reads.

pete: uses the internet for actual boring company stuff. like he probably schedules a routine set-it and forget-it edible arrangements for trudy on birthdays and holidays so he doesnt have to care and then spends the rest of the time reading up on the history of McDonalds vs Wendys corporate twitter fued and researching stock market trends.

roger: so much.

‘foxy silver stud seeks fun and fancy times’

and

how do i order one hundred bottles of scotch and also a whole russian dolphin and a small friendly Taiwanese hooker and two bagels and sauna pants

and

don you gotta get a look at this a man turned himself into a pickle funniest shit i ever saw

trudy: sends a lovely electronic mail message of an adorable little kitten to her lovely husband peter for his special day at work

burt: “Hello” every…one :) ? Welcome to my first (1)!!!! e- mail (electronic mail) company message!. Reminder… “peace” comes from Within!

betty: ‘is my husband cheating on me’ ‘how to tell if insane’ ‘how to tell if bad wife’ ‘is my daughter fat and ugly’ and a bunch of mommyblogger forums and food pintrest

ken: so much online publishing and probably some of those crusty ancient sci-fi forums from the 90s. tap dancing tutorials.

paul: reddit. reddit. 100% reddit. and quora like he’s an expert. did a bunch of youtube ‘just musing about philosophy’ hour long rant videos nobody at the office watched

harry: ‘chubby male vs big booty french brunette hardcore’

i almost forgot i was on the ‘for my own personal amusement’ website

[julymarte]

since you guys liked these 1 / 2 and it’s now become a full AU me and my friend decided to explore more of it, one step at a time, aka we’ll get to azul, but not now- this time we introduce to you the first AU OC based off another theory

more details under the cut! no collage this time just lore analysis

i assume you are familiar with the dead siblings theory, if not i advise you go read jade’s halloween story, but other jade and floyd mentioning ghosts that look like eachother we’ve had other hints as them saying neither of them is the older or younger twin and that they chose eachother how do you choose being twin with your twin ...this implies there were other siblings? if they see ghosts looking like that...did they die around middle school? is their mom so worried about them and wanting tho hear about them everyday and see them often cause she’s clingy or cause she’s lost other children and wants to be sure the remaining ones are fine? (eels spawn a fuckton of eggs irl btw).... but moving on!

why did i bring this up you might ask...well, while the tweeks will still cooperate with azul who’s become a rich corporate owner in this AU, they are still tied to their “family bisiness” being quite clearly the sons of the boss but that leads to a question, who will be leech papa’s heir? we took azul out of the equation cause he’s external to the family and to the business, he’s shady and cunning but everything is fun when it’s a game in highschool real life it’s different and he’s more suited to be a slimy business man than an actual mafia boss..........this brings the focus to the legitimate heirs aka the tweels but even there it’s complicated cause jade would be the easiest choice right? since floyd is too much of a wildcard and jade has definitelt the skills to handle it BUT jade’s strong point is going under the radar, being in the shadows and being underestimated so he cannot be the leader he must be always a step behind so we’re back to the start.... who’s gonna be the next leech don?

and it’s here that we bring Layd to life, or better from the dead lol...his backstory is stilla work in progress since we’re waiting to see if more details on the theory come out or if it gets completely busted, but we wanted him to be a tough dude that survived for years alone in the depths of the ocean and came back to claim his rightful spot in the family business more of his personality will depend on his backstory so we’ll keep you updated on that

one last note about the name, as you migth see we went back to the original eels names to give him a believeable name so, we looked into other types of shipwereck and we found lagan to be fitting for him hance giving him a name with L which romaji translitteration would end in-ido and as a design choice we agreed to only give him the green eye as the yellow heterocromia is something that was to be exclusive to jetsam and flotsam