#man canon is so batshit crazy dude

[fangpie]

s4ep14 "i should be your little brother" UH LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK! What on gods green earth - like how the hell am i supposed to read this other than some serious 🤨 brother loving bullshit. a motherfucking siren.

[lynnlovesthestars]

Do you think Wyll would enjoy fucking Tav's ass? Can you give us a lil hc pls?? 🫶anon

Hiii OK IM GONNA RAMBLE ABOUT THIS CAUSE I THINK ONCE HE STARTS, HE CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT-

CW: anal play, anal sex, wyll goes batshit crazy. I will divide between afab and amab.

Wyll x reader

You see those fingers? He coax every filthy sound from your lips with them, and he does it so effortlessly you wonder how much practice he had cause you are a MESS under them.

When he fucks you he's always trying to tease you:

If you are AFAB, and he's eating you out, he'll make sure one of his fingers slowly, tantalizingly, reaches your rim just applying a little pressure to see how you react, and he's elated to see how you buckle your hips trying to get more out of it. "Oh princess, you gotta be patient" He'd admonish you lovingly as he ghosts over your tight hole. Or when he has you bent on the kitchen counter, and he's fucking your squelching pussy. You are spread open for him and your ass is in full display? He's torture you with his fingers.. it starts with a graze and it escalates with your tongue wetting his digits, and be assured the moment he dips the first finger in, you are coming undone. From then he becomes obsessed with how you moan his name when he'd add a finger in your tight ass while fucking you. You are so sensitive that he knows you are gonna be coming way before he is, so he just fucks you through your high, and he's not gonna stop once your bliss has reached it's peak. He's literally gonna keep fucking your over stimulated pussy until you are a shaking mess under him and he's fucking another orgasm out of you. He'll make sure your pussy will be sore before he fills you up with his cum.

If you are AMAB, he'd take his chance while he's sucking you. His mouth would be wrapped around your dick as you are restlessly fucking his mouth, he wipes away the drool with his free hand, and at the sight of his drenched fingers it crosses his mind. So he starts with little prodding, and he already can feel your cock twitching, until he's almost knuckle deep in your tight hole and your steady rhythm quickly turns franctic. Up until then he was always the one taking your fat cock in his ass, but as you squeezed that finger like madness? He wanted to ask you to switch to find out what it felt around his hard on.

we all agree that this man is an ass man, and he'll make sure to remind you every time he's touching, kissing, fingering or fucking it.

"Oh your ass is so.. is so.." He'd grunt breathlessly. "Fucking perfect"

" I'm a bit frustrated, can I eat your ass?"

"this ass is mine, you understand?"

He’s very careful while preparing you, he’s gonna do the #research to find the best lubricant, which in the time canon yr would be grease, and he’s gonna take his time stretching you, for few reasons: 1. he doesn’t want to hurt you, 2. He likes how desperate you get 3. he’s massive

so he’s gonna take all the time necessary. He even buys a few plugs that he puts in for a bit while he’s taking his time with foreplay. Like dude is gonna make sure you are relaxed completely before he’s gonna take you. Whether he’s gonna suck you or eat you out, he’s gonna have his meal first.

the moment he’s sinking in? MESS, he’s gonna be a mess. The sluttiest moan escapes his lips just at the tightness of your hole. He’s not even sure he can thrust twice before coming, but what truly edges him? That whiny moan you make when he starts moving. Then it's like his brain is mush.

He's literally drunk on the feeling, on your sweet gasps, on how you melt for him to the point that he needs you closer. His hands move from your shaky hips to wrap around your middle and press you deliciously close to him, your back firmly pressed against his chest and your neck all for him to kiss.

He's literally dumbfucking you as he basically gets dumbfucked as well, you swallow him so well he can't help but lose the last bit of his control, and so do you.

It becomes all sloppy movements and filthy sounds as you can feel your whole body one step away from combustion, you are going to come and you are going to make a mess.

“Hells I'm I'm heaven” He moans loudly and has his hips rut against your ass, and his hand reaches your core. You can feel it so close as it takes him a mere desperate second to make you come undone under his touch.

You don't realize he has come until you can feel his cock sliding out, and his cum dripping out of you.

You don't care that in that moment you were laying on your orgasms, you were perfectly okay cause Wyll was still holding you to him.

He doesn't skip the aftercare, he actually draws you a bath as he changes the sheets.

You are covered only with a towel when you make your way out. Wyll is already laying under the sheets for you to join him.

The second he hears your body dipping in the softness of the bed, he's already close to you again.

His hands would find a nice place to rest on your hips, murmuring sweet nothings and lullying you to sleep.

[haystarlight]

Okay but I can't stop thinking about this

Obviously, back in Ancient Greece, there were no options like we have today. Sex resulting in a child was unpreventable. So the gods really couldn't do anything about the demigod children because goodness knows they're not gonna stop falling in love with mortals.

But things are different now and I wonder about how the invention of contraceptives and the facilitation/legalization of abortion (in some places, at least) would affect the gods.

(longer discussion under the "keep reading", content warning for talk of abortion, sex and how shitty some male gods are)

(Athena doesn't facture in because her method of making demigods is batshit, this is for the demigods that were made with sex) (and for The Big Three, more specifically)

Like I talked with my partner the other day and he says he thinks it's totally possible to abort a demigod fetus and I agreed with him. Because, even though they're stronger than normal humans, half-bloods can definitely die. So, if you were pregnant with a half-blood fetus, I think you *could* abort it like a normal human one.

HOWEVER

What would the god dad think about that. Would they be, like, offended that a mere mortal would have the gall to reject a gift from a god? would they try to punish the mortal for not wanting the demigod fetus? would they see it as "impertinent"?

Or would they be relieved like "oh nice! one less half-blood child to worry about!"?

I'm especially thinking about Zeus, Poseidon and Hades. Obviously. Because they're the ones that made a promise not to have more babies. The others made no such promises but, in their case, you'd think preventing the birth would be in their best interest, right? because you're helping them keep their promise? they should be happy, right?

But, then again, the gods are irrational a lot of the time.

Also, condoms.

Idk if god sperm would be stronger than human sperm. Like, maybe there's a chance the condom wouldn't work to stop it (they do sometimes fail, after all, "only 97% effective" and all that). But this is assuming condoms can stop even god sperm.

Again, you think The Big Three would be like "awesome! a way to keep my promise of no more kids and still have sex!" or would they be like those dude bros that don't like wearing condoms cause "they're too small for me!!!" (shut up they're not)

I'm thinking Zeus at least gives definitely the "I would never wear a condom how dare you" vibe.

Tbh, maybe the gods should try seeking out mortals that already have their tubes tied. That sounds like a plan.

Also for not-maiden goddesses like Aphrodite and Demeter, for example. You think they can just, you know, decide not to get pregnant? cause they're goddesses, maybe they can just do that? tho, since they don't have an oath that tells them not to, they probably don't care enough to decide to not get pregnant anyway?

Also, wild to think the kids whose godly parent is their mom get recognized as demigods from birth, that's crazy.

Also also, I think I remember one character in the books that's a child of Apollo with another man. Which it's cool for the queer representation but also HOW. Like... Rick, is Apollo mpreg canon in the books?! RICK?!

(I'm sure if you ask Rick all this, he just says "I write these books for kids, please leave me alone" but THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW)

(I'm pro choice, in case that wasn't totally clear. I'm not saying mortals should be punished for not wanting demigod kids (which is a fictional thing anyways). Of course not. I was just wondering what would the gods think of that)

[myfaveisfuckable]

Pete:

starts off as the comic relief side character. gets kidnapped and tortured. laughs in the face of the man electrocuting his dick. ends up sleeping with him later (by choice. like he wants him), decides he's in love witht he single most crazy unhinged character in the show and reduces him to like crying in his noodles because Pete escaped the safe house torture/sex dungeon where he was kinda a prisoner. shoots his man in the arm (to keep from being killed by other people), beats the shit out of him (that one is for personal reasons), the man confesses his undying love and kisses him before running off, pete chases after him, has to point a gun at him again, the man runs off, pete quits his job and chases after him again, pete stops the man from killing himself and is like "I'm your pet, you're my owner, you have to feed me" (it's a callback from their days in the safehouse torture/sex dungeon), the man gets shot by someone else, and pete goes crazy kills the guy who shot him. so yeah he's totally just a silly comic relief character

KDJ:

1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

2. He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers: turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.

3. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍

4. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN

[chibi-taylormoon]

Give you a character thing: Zarc

Zarc!!!!

How I feel about this character:

The whole concept of zarc is interesting, he's just an evil power hungry dude just because. He has no reasons why he's evil, he just is. I like that in a villian, so despite not really having much content of him otherwise until the end of the series, he's just an intriguing concept. Although I really wouldn't consider him any kind of antagonist like Yuri is. I like Zarc, wish we had way more content of him because the ending of the series with him didn't feel too fleshed out!

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

No one really, I do see some good zarc/ray art though. I guess it would just have to be them, they're a good pairing to put in an enemies and lovers situation. and its interesting to think about them being tragically in love, Zarc goes batshit crazy and Ray has to be the one to stop him; but Ray cannot kill the man she loves no matter how evil and power hungry he is. SO THATS where the concept of splitting the dimensions comes into play. Ray splits her and Zarc into 4 equal parts and spreads them through the dimensions. No matter where or who the parts of the souls become, Ray will always be there for Zarc to keep him in line.

my non-romantic otp for this character:

mmm, no one.

my unpopular opinion about this character:

I don't essentially see him as the big final baddie of arc-v and that is a huge shame because hes supposed to be this scary evil thing looming within the yu's hearts. but idk the idea kind of fell short and Yuri and Leo were more of a pain in the sides for everyone rather than zarc. BUT he is still cool regardless.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

A showdown between zarc and the 4 yu's!!!! Poor Yuya gets taken over and becomes this giant fused monster of Zarc and its up to the yu's to actually be the ones to free Yuya of his grasp. They all reach out and grab hold of Yuya's hands and are telling him to stay strong and not let Zarc take over him. Yuto, Yugo and Yuri summon their dragons and forcefully wake up Yuya and they can defeat zarc themselves!!!! Its like a bonding experience between these shared souls against the darkness in which they were created from. Zarc needed to be taken down this way. It makes sense to me.

[sonicunleash]

14 15 16 for literally anything idgaf

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

hmmm this is tough for really any media because I don't really look through fics anymore, but I have to say one thing I remember seeing so fucking much in naruto fics is like. So many people write modern au's and like 99.999% of the time they always make sasuke and the uchihas all like fuck, rich business majors running some kind of big corporation and naruto some poor dude and it's fucking weird it makes no fucking sense to me. There's literally no point in the anime where the uchiha are really particularly rich, and sasuke himself is never any more well of than naruto is-- except for when his family was alive and caring for him I guess. It seems so mutually agreed on in the naruto fanfic base but if just baffles me as to why. Is it just. i dunno. cause he's... serious??? is it just for the yaoi power dynamics???? it's fucking weird and a lot of the time gets weirdly classist about it too.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

oh god uhhh. hmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmm well every sonic artist and their mom loves drawing a dramatic imagined recreation of the sonic adventure ark scene where shadow's falling from space and sonics trying to catch him and all-- I don't actually dislike it or feel annoyed by it but its kinda funny how its like. a staple of any sonic artist that they Will draw that at least once. even though the specific scene itself doesn't really exist... maybe thats why honestly.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

MODERN AUS OR LIKE. SLICE OF LIFE-Y AUS. IDK it's like okay lets take this very wild and exciting media and just suck out everything characteristic to it and make them do. real lifey things. it never really works and proposes anything interesting. The only time i've ever liked the idea of a modern au though was only me and drift's hypothetical modern naruto au but the appeal of it was that things just remain just as batshit as they are in canon. madara is still some crazy old man who never dies who the whole uchiha family kinda hates who makes homemade experimental hashirama hormone burgers that he feeds to obito. that kind of batshit. honestly the main appeal was really just madara.

[crowtrobotx]

Ohhhhh I have Thoughts!

So, generally, I much prefer my dadcore “leave me the hell alone” interpretation of him. Part of it is truly self indulgent which - who cares, it’s my Barbie doll, I get to play with her how I want. But I don’t think it’s unrealistic either! As OP mentioned, there’s so little actual content of him that it’s genuinely impossible to say for sure, but we do know in canon he rarely leaves the factory and clearly has a preference for at least working alone and *probably* living alone. I posted about this before but I don’t buy his “everyone look at me!” showman persona (and I don’t think you’re supposed to tbh.) I think he does crave positive attention but what he’s doing in game is outrageously over the top as a weird attempt at dominance and/or the result of him having zero social skills because he’s a mole man living in a massive mostly underground facility by himself with only corpses for company. I don’t think he actually wants to interact with most people - he hates the other lords/Miranda and doesn’t care about the villagers - which doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want someone around he cared about, but I really struggle to see him actively inviting people into his physical/mental space even in the context of “come buy my war crime weapons.”

Now, I have been known to enjoy a little batshit insane ultra violent Karl. As a treat. I don’t think it’s set in stone that this is how he’d be, and maybe this is just my interpretation, but I got very “tired”energy from him? If that makes sense? He also has several lines where he sounds genuinely distraught before switching back to his angrier, more unhinged voice and I think that says a lot. Part of his tragedy is that he insists he’s different from Miranda/the others presumably because he believes his cause is justified but…. He’s doing terrible shit too! Still, he does clearly harbor some level of humanity still which leaves enough room for doubt that he’s just this singularly focused shallow supervillain. He is selfish, I think, but that could just be the result of being in survival mode for so long. I could just say “he has the vibes of the town dad/weird uncle who has his special interest that keeps everyone away and that’s fine by him” but I sincerely think that is supported by the little canon crumbs we were fed, and in a situation like this where Capcom either didn’t think hard enough about what they were doing or cuts to the game’s story were so intense that it left a somewhat nonsensical/lacking story, you can’t really shit on anyone’s takes that hard, y’know lol.

I do think he’d be very unmoored without Miranda and the cult tbh; you don’t just leave a situation like that and end up Fine, y’know? I think he’d likely have at least a very tumultuous period where he’d do some crazy shit because he doesn’t know what to do with his freedom and probably never planned for the “after” part of his rebellion. But I also think he’d eventually land in a place where he doesn’t want to jeopardize himself and potentially trade one prison for another and learn to lie low if for no other reason than that. So maybe my answer is actually “he’d do a little bit of the whole maniac thing for a minute as a knee jerk reaction to realizing he doesn’t fit in/can’t have a ‘normal’ life/doesn’t know what to do but then he’d have to learn to survive in a much more subtle way and because that’s what he does - survive — he’d eventually adapt.” He’d still definitely be the dude in town setting off fireworks in his front lawn year round and modding cars with absolutely wild and illegal shit. He also has annual front row seats to the county fair monster truck rally and would 100% try to upsell you on repairs you do not need to your vehicle.

On a more serious note and to conclude this totally unsolicited ramble, I don’t take VA’s ideas as gospel as a general rule but I do agree with what Neil said one time about how he thought Karl might have the inclination to maybe be a power hungry maniac post-Village but he would never actually manage to because he can’t keep focused on one thing and would keep getting distracted. Local supervillain conquered after he’s given one (1) home improvement project.

There’s so little actual game content of Heisenberg in RE8 that I can’t quite decide how to imagine post-Miranda Heisenberg—I kinda think there’s two options: 1. The slightly more realistic but less fun one: he becomes a power hungry maniac mechanic man who makes weapons for the highest bidder etc, or 2. The more fun one: he just fucks off to vibe on his own, maybe makes stuff for fun or fixes cars or smth, lays low and enjoys the good things in life

As much as I’ve already kinda decided on the latter being my preferred post-Miranda Heisenberg, I still feel like the former is almost more accurate… do any of yall have thoughts on this?

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Day of the Departed

Im gonna be fr I didnt even know wtf Day of the departed was until i watched the first episode of Hands of Time and was like

“COLES HUMAN AGAIN?!?!???!?”

Did some googling, and bc i dont have Tubi or Amazon, im being forced to use an illegal pirating site 😔

Hdjsbfjdirbr

jk lol

idgaf

I use wcofun.net for cartoons and shit if anyone wants to know where to watch it

I feel like ive seen this movie before…

Was day of the departed on netflix for a while????

Lloyd: I dont get why you get have the Sonic Radar Jet 😒

Jay: Uh, Duh, bc I called dibs 🙄

Bfjsnfjdnsn

Jay: Right Cole?

Jay:… Cole?

Cole: (freaking out and unable to control his car)

Damn, they did rlly good with that beginning. Making it seem lighthearted and then subtly panning to Cole who’s panicking bc he cant get ahold of his car

Awww so day of the departed is like a mix of Halloween and dia de los muertos

Museum exhibit guy: Its spooky time! BOOGLY BOOGLY!

!?!?????!?! im sorry 😭?

That was just so random

…

Why cant they see Cole.

I dont like this WHY CANT THEY SEE COLE.

They dont realize Coles not with them :(

How is that even possible

Were their memories wiped????

Like what?????

Lloyd and misako lit a lantern for Garmadon 🥺

Kai and Nya for their parents 🥹

ZANE MADE AN ICE STATUE FOR HIS DAD?!?!?

Im am just NOW realizing how many people who are close to the ninja have died

“stay close with the people we are still fortunate to have”: (pans to Jay having the best time with his loving parents)

Except Jay. Jay hasn’t had the trauma of someone permanently die on him.

Okay so everyone forgot about Cole except his father. How does that even work.

Coles dad and his singing group are actually pretty good-

Dareth: Kids… always disappoint you. Thats why I dont have any! And because Gayle keeps turning down my marriage proposals….

HFHDJFBJDBF

its canon that Jay and Dareth both know how to do makeup. Dareth and Jay ALSO both have a similar sense of showmanship.

Which means Jay and Dareth are uncle and nephew besties who bond over their shared interests of performances.

Its canon bc i said so.

RONIN?!?? What are you doing here 💀

Honestly, I was gonna be like “Cole. Dude. Chill.” But if I was a ghost I would also go batshit murder crazy if I caught eye of the person who TURNED me into a ghost

….

Why is Yangs temple floating.

1. Didnt it fall from the sky and back to the ground after Nadakhans power was weakened?

2. THE SKYBOUND TIMELINE WAS ERASED. Shouldnt it be BACK WHERE IT WAS.

Why were the villains souls in a vase in Yangs temple

I cant get over the fact that these villains souls just possessed these plastic statues of themselves.

Like, my guys, you don’t have organs.

MORROS BACK BABY

Cant believe these goofy ass goons traumatized the ninja in some shape or form

The departed realm…

Okay. So the cursed realm DIED right, it no longer exists. So did the departed realm replace it?

Pythor?!??!?!

Pythor:… chen…

Chen: Pythor. 🙄💅

Lmaaoo Chen and Pythor having beef is hilarious

JFNDJFNDJDNJFNS The two villains fighting over who gets to kill Zane 😭😭😭

Nindroid: Hes MY clone!

Pythor: technically your his clone

Chen: The blacksmit brats are mine

Pythor: How come you get two?!?!?!

Yangs painting looks so silly being animated 💀

What does Chen have against nya?

Oh wait is it because she disguised herself as one of his lady clowns?

Morro. My man. Didnt you like, redeem yourself by giving Wu the crystal instead of letting him save you? I mean yeah it was a shitty redemption but shouldn’t you be a little nicer?????

Its funny how none of the villains have deep beef with Jay. Theyre like, “uhhhhh, theres one ninja and two of us, lets rock papers scissors for him?”

Wait none of the villains called Cole either-

Is Cole THAT forgettable 😭

Okay headcannon time: Cole never liked fame which is kind of shown after Zanes death. He doesnt like to be recognized. I headcannon that as the ninja got famous and Jay + Nyas relationship became wide spread news, everyone just, FORGOT about Cole. Like no one gave a fuck about him, and thats kinda his own fault too by not going to interviews or putting him out there other than to do his job. He probably just went invisible anytime the paparazzi came close.

Cant believe they remembered Dareth and not COLE.

Yangs backstory lets gooooo

Yang: ah yes, time to conjure this spell of immortality with the ancient precious Yin weapon. (Starts viciously swinging it like hes attacking invisible demons)

Cole: my friends will come for me!

Dude your friends forgot about you. Im genuinely sorry but i dont think theyre coming ☹️

That feeling when you have to fight your girlfriends abusive dad whos supposed to be dead

that ones for the Kai x Skylor shippers AND the Nya x Skylor shippers

NO. YOU MOTHER FUCKERS. THEY DESTROYED THE STATUE ZANE MADE FOR HIS DAD

Nindroid: Oh Im sorry! Did I hurt your dad? Or should I say OUR dad?

Fuck you.

I hate when Ed and Edna get attacked they dont deserve this :(

Why cant pythor just leave Lloyd the fuck alone 😭😭😭

Wu: the eclipse is an omen, but is it one of good? Or bad?

Morro (sneaking up behind him and whispering): Bad. Very bad…

Cole: Why did I use the Yin blade and release the ghosts!

Yang: Well, you were scared you were departing, so I used your fragile mental state- oh wait, you weren’t asking literally were you.

Why do the ninja never use their powers when they need to.

Why are there so many plot-holes in this movie.

Cole: So I uh, didn’t get your name!

Yangs student:…

Cole: Okay, lets call you Chuck. Chuck! Ik you think your yangs student, but you can help me and we can escape together!!!

Yangs student:…

Cole: Okay… no pressure! But you have 3 seconds to decide.

Cole: 1… 2…. 3. (Knocks them tf out)

Cole: Guess im doing this solo.

Jfndjfndjdnt coles great I love him sm

FINALLY SOMEONE USES THEIR ELEMENTAL POWERS.

Good job Jay for actually having some sense for once

Jay: what do you want with my parents!

Skeleton samukai: its not your parents I want! Its you!

Jay: 😶

Im in love with the person who animated Jay in this scene. Having Jay hop back and forth between his two feet like hes ready to fight and then having him fumble with his nunchucks is just, 👌

Thank you for your service random animator.

Why is Coles dads singing group holding replicas of Garmadons evil helmet 💀

COLE JUST STOPPED A SWORD WITH HIS FUCKING THIGHS.

WTF

Morro: No you dont understand! Im not here to fight you. Im here to warn you….

Ohhhh so this is Morros true redemption

Hes gonna die again isnt he…

Okay, so Yang did make all of them forget Cole.

Cole (fighting all of Yangs students): You guys are more tiresome than Jay!

HFNSJBFNSN

Why do the ninja always bash Jay just out of nowhere 😭

Skeleton samukai: If its worth anything. This isnt personal.

Jay: It kinda feels like it is 😀

RONIN?!?

Ronin: yeah… I came to help… definitely didnt think your parents would be at the concert so I could steal some free scrap metal….

Dude. My man. You could quite literally just ASK. Ed and Edna are so nice theyd probably give you free scrap metal and some tea while theyre at it.

I forgot Pixal was still in Zanes brain-

Uncharacteristically, Lloyds fight with Pythor is the most boring fight in this movie.

NOOOOOW THEY ALL USE THEIR ELEMENTAL POWERS.

Pythor: No… just time for a spectacular exit! (Falls of the cliff and crashes through the fucking floor)

Ronin: Happy day of the departed guys! And uh, thanks for the scraps…

Ed: All you had to do was ask 😌

SEE.

Museum guy: My museum!!! What have you done!!!!

Dareth (holding the helmet that controls the stone warriors): Hehe! sorry…

Cole (after knocking out Yangs student, absolutely exhausted, and sounding legitimately sorry and pained): Dont make me hurt you too… ☹️

Last of yangs students: …. (Skedadles)

Morro: Yang tricked Cole into opening a rift to return to ninjago…

Jay: Coooole! Howd he trick you!

Zane: Jay, Cole isnt here 🤨

Jay: Are you sure? Hes been fading a lot lately. Hes easy to miss.

The ninja: WE FORGOT COLE!!!?!!

Yeah. Dipshits. Now its time to save him. AND APOLOGIZE.

Morro returned his plastic statue body to the museum 🥺

He finished what he sought out to do 🥲

Yang: What are you even fighting for. Your friends have abandoned you! You are all alone.

Damn.

Cole probably has abandonment issues doesn’t he…

His mom, then his friends…

Im getting all emotional I need some good Cole hurt/comfort fanfic recs right this instant😭

HES FADING NO

STOP HIS SIGH SOUNDED SO WEAK AND DEFEATED

COOOLE 😭😭😭

COLES LAVA HAND POWERS HELL YEAH!!!!

Yangs pupils actually look so cool. I wanna draw them.

His pupils are alive again 🥹

Yang: My students, are leaving me… I … failed….

Cole: Yeah. Ya did.

Yang: I always fail…

Cole: Yeah, Ya- wait what?

Cole: (having an emotional talk with Yang about how he’ll never be forgotten and that he knows how it feels to be independent and alone.)

Jay: COLE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING THE RIFT IS CLOSING GODDAMMIT.

The curse stating that someone has to stay behind and be the ghost of the temple is so stupid.

Au where Morro snuck into the rift and became human again.

God that would have been such a good excuse to have him back as a permanent character

I hate that they didnt do that

Lloyd: Wheres Cole!?!? Did he make it?

Jay: Oh no…

Jay: Its too late. He’s gone forever.

Jay: Id give anything to have him back… (Wipes a tear away)

Cole: Anything?…

Jay (with his eyes closed): Anything.

Cole (jumping out from behind a rock): Even the Sonic Radar Jet? :D

Everyone: COLE!!!!

I love them sm

THEY DID A TIMESKIP!!!

Cole: So was I right or was I right!

Jay: Goddammit Cole are you gonna tell this story every Day of the Departed 🙄

That was a sweet note to leave it on :)

Headcannon that Cole goes to visit Yang and his temple all the time

My only complaint is Morro not slipping through the rift and becoming human again.

[rattoes420]

For otp! You know it, I know it, you're gonna do it eventually, JERIC

All of em⁉️ alright bet I’m deranged like that

1. Who most initiates PDA?

Eric obvi

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

Eric prob sleeps weird, I’m not elaborating on that, and I think jacks the type of mf who needs to be at a certain level of comfort at night or else he’ll die, he’s willing to let some things pass but not much

3. Jealousy issues?

Yea y’all saw witches of pennbrooke

4. What’s a Night Out for them?

They’ve got range, shits anywhere from nice restaurant to club to breaking into mr Feeny’s car

5. What’s an evening in for them?

Watching films, eating shitty food and being gay and stupid

6. Double Date? Thoughts? Who?

Jeric double date with Rachel and whatever bitch they try and set her up with real (also I’m pushing lesbian Rachel)

7. Do they want (have) kids?

Yea :)))

8. Have an AU thought?

I’ve got a boy meets world remake in my mind and heart (and google docs) if that counts, but so far I haven’t come up with any of my lil batshit completely disconnected shit yet

9. If they got engaged… who proposed?

Jack,,,,

10. How do they deal with the other’s family?

I feel like jack would kinda wanna impress Alan and Amy but overall he gets along with them and like,,, Shawn likes Eric and that’s all that rly matters

11. What is their love language?

Both prob mostly quality time but Eric also probably physical touch

12. How are their communication skills?

Average? I feel like Eric is kinda defined BY his emotional intelligence so that helps but they’ve got their issues (specifically cause of the time gap thing)

13. A little personal… but… Hot and Steamy or Soft and Tender?

Haven’t thought too much about this and if I’m being real idk if I wanna

14. How did they first meet?

K that one is just canon, shoutout to Cory for introducing them, he is a real supporter of the lgbtq+ community

15. Why do they like each other?

They both kinda bring something to each other that they themselves don’t have so they kinda balance each other out and bring out the best in each other because of that, I think that’s kinda why they like each other???? Cause of the differences and new perspectives and shit idk

17. Morning rituals?

Thinking about adult jeric, y’all they have real jobs now and Eric probably has to get up early as fuck, I doubt he’s at all functional when he first gets up, my guy is like “five more minutes” when he’s literally a senator, jack probably read some article once about the healthiest morning routine and has tried to abide by that ever since

18. Evening rituals?

Mfs watch tv and films till one of them falls asleep and I really believe that

19. How are they at parties or gatherings?

Jacks mostly cool and normal, Eric makes things fucking crazy/pos

20. Most cuddly?

ericericeric

21. Movie Night?

Of course they do that shit, oh to be a fly on the wall well they decide to watch a horror film 😔😔😔

22. Who is the photo bug?

Prob Eric but I could see it being jack

23. How well do they know each other’s favorite foods?

Pretty well probably they literally live together (side note but Eric’s either the type of mf to eat like three different type of foods with very little variety or the type of mf to have a new food he’s obsessed with every other week no I’m not elaborating)

24. What do their texts look like?

Adult jeric time :)))) jack has that stereotypical old man texting style, Eric does that weird thing my grandma does where it’s like “congrats on the show today🏄‍♀️🌈🍰”

25. Parenting style?

Dude Eric would literally be such a good dad, fun parent, Eric Matthews be my dad challenge, I think Jack might be worried about fucking up but overall I think he’s do a good job, he’d make sure that kid didn’t die

26. If they have kids, who named them? What would they name them?

I’m not entirely sure?

27. Who brings home an illegal pet?

Eric if either of them (Eric’s not rly a pet guy and jack has a hard enough time taking care of himself)

28. Who takes the longest getting ready to leave?

I’m not sure, this could go either way

29. Who said I Love You, first?

I like the idea of it being jack but it was prob Eric

30. When did they realize they loved each other?

Eric was prob during witches of pennbrooke cause,,,, I love that episode and I like the implications of it,,,, jack I legit think was probably after the end of the series but before girl meets world (I mostly like to think this cause it makes me sad 👍)

[spacerockfloater]

Sorry for misgendering you, random person on the internet who has no pronouns in their bio so I couldn’t possibly know your gender (which I’m still unaware of because you never told me what’s the correct way to address you, only that you’re not a “he”), but some words like “mister, dude, guys, girly” etc. are used in a generic sense, not exclusively towards their assigned gender. In any case, genuinely sorry, addressing you as mister was just a generic salutation.

Now, I’m a big GRRM hater and I have many bones to pick with him and his depiction of women, but I cannot go against the way he canonically presents certain female characters he created. If he says a woman is bad because she did this and this, I’ll have to elaborate on anything I comment about it based on the canon, you know? Like, it obviously disgusts me how he has 13yo Danny in AGOT fall in love with her rapist and carry his child because I see NO reason she couldn’t be older, but when Cersei demands that the leftovers of a feast be thrown away instead to the poor of the city (food that Marg’s family provided btw), then yeah, I’m kinda gonna call her a batshit crazy misanthropist, ok?

But in any case, this is a space dedicated to the discussion and analysis of his work, so if you don’t think this is serious/ interesting enough to talk about, then I suggest you leave? I just find it odd that you were perfectly comfortable sharing your opinion here but the moment I held you accountable for it you go “yooo, it’s not that serious, I’m not actually harming anyone”!

And it’s not as if GRRM has ever portrayed any ruler, man or woman, to be exemplary, you know? If anything, his work’s main point is that there is no perfect monarch. And for the record, he does present a bunch of women as successful rulers, like Nymeria, Meria, Margaery etc. I don’t understand why the moment a female character who belongs in the elite society starts intentionally harming other people I must suck her dick and forgive her? Why, because she is a woman like me and she’s traumatised? Of course I’ll hold her accountable for her canon actions when I’m having a discussion about her online. If you wanna say that she should have been worse, go off I guess, just don’t be surprised when people say that’s not very humanitarian.

Finally, while I absolutely do get that not everybody has the necessary experience to talk about anything (different genders, races, social statuses etc.) it’s kind of wild to not allow an author to include such subjects in his work because he doesn’t belong in said groups. So he can never talk about women harming other women because he is not a woman who was harmed by another woman? Why? What kind of diversity would we have in books then? I, for one, have been mistreated horribly by women who belong in upper class and I’m thrilled to see him touch this subject. Maybe it’s not that women are bad, maybe it’s the elite and rich and powerful in general that are bad, you know?

Cersei Lannister & Rhaenyra Targaryen:

Are forced to marry someone they don’t love, so they find solace in the arms of a family member and commit incest

Seduce members of the Royal Guard

Have three bastard kids

Commit atrocities to claim the Iron Throne

Betray their allies when they feel threatened

Rule with fire and blood

Live in constant paranoia so they murder innocent servants whom they believe will betray them, even if said betrayal would be a direct consequence of the way they treat their subjects

Are hated by the people

and lets us not forget the -

But no, please go ahead and tell me all about how Rhaenyra is this feminist icon who has the divine right to rule over hundreds of thousands of people because her daddy said so, therefore if I don’t support her I’m a misogynist.

[howtheworldcouldb]

I posted this as part of a reblog on an Incorrect Kotor Quote but I feel like it needs its own post:

Kinda want a fic retelling/fleshing out of KOTOR, but with absolute batshit shenanigans the entire time.

To infiltrate the Sith Enclave on Taris, they dress up as janitors. Zaalbar's uniform looks like shorts and a crop top, Carth is wearing a bad fake mustache and T3 is disguised as a trash can. They're only meant to be a distraction (Mission is in the vents, because she's the only one that fit and she really wanted to). It works, but not how they intended. No one looks at them twice.

The robot custodian in the Dantooine Star Forge temple? They respond to its questions with exceedingly crazy but technically correct answers. Eventually the poor thing gets so confused it just lets them through.

The murder investigation on Manaan plays out like a bad episode of the Pink Panther cartoon. Their primary investigating techniques include doing shots with witnesses until they spill their life story (Zaalbar and oddly Juhani have the best alcohol tolerance), and standing in the courtyards to alternately yell "Fuck Elassa" and "Fuck Sunry". Whoever responds with "amen" gets tracked down and questioned. Three people have a different definition of "fuck ___". Revan arrests them anyway.

Revan and the Crew, instead of pretending to be students in the Sith Academy when asked what they're doing there, panic and pretend they're from "the union". It plays out exactly like that one scene from Shrek. It spirals and they end up leading a workers revolution Somehow, by the end of it, they've founded a functioning, sovereign nation, of which Dustil has been voted leader of. His first act is to banish Carth. Carth is very sad about it. Revan is still welcome, because she’s weirdly become something like a beloved stepmom. No one understands it. Everyone but Carth thinks it’s hilarious.

When Malak reveals Revan was a Sith Lord, all of them collectively decide to gaslight the shit out of him. Dude, Revan has always been [whatever her fake name is]. They’ve known her for years. “Are you sure you have the right person? What do they look like, maybe we can help you find them–”

“What? It’s... it's literally you. You look just like her.”

“Wow man that’s crazy”

Jolee canonically signed up just to fuck around and see what happened, and boy is it a show

[superfrostydrawing]

So....how was ironwood done dirty?

Curious.

I get you have a LOT of headcanons for the dude.

But headcanon is NOT the same as Canon. It's basically what you want of a character vs what the character actually is.

But...When he shows up in volume 2, Ozpin and Glynda are ripping into him harder than Youtube critics tear into video games.

Heck, when Qrow shows up, he rips into Jimmy even harder than Glynda did with the dick insult.

So I just...how was Jimmy done dirty if he ended up proving everyone's criticisms of him to be correct?

Anon I know headcanons are not the same as canon. Sorry if you got confused by my hc about Ironwood but that is not what I was getting at.

We all watched V7 and V8, we can recall how Ironwood got mad at team RWBY for what they did and the problems they were causing. Wich is completly fair if you ask me, we have to remember he is a grown man of 50-something years old and has been in the battlefield since before any of them were born. Just because these teens are the protagonists doesn't mean that their actions are supposed to be the best solution and that they know all the answers. That's what I liked abt Ironwood, he knows what he's doing bc he has the experience and title to proove it.

So my problem with Ironwood and how they did him "dirty" is basically the batshit crazy trigger-happy character trait he developed faster that Ruby's training montage.

He killed a councilman and almost shot a subordinate for voicing his displeasure of the whole situation, abandoned a whole city to die and in a petty rage shot down the only salvation these people had because a group of children were saving them.

He basically went from 'we can't save everyone, we have to save what we can' to 'I said NO! Mantle does not get to live, Atlas does!' And we can't blame his semblance entirely because even after it shattered he went out of his way to still be a massive douchbag.

He literally went to the vault just to try and stop the whole evacuation of the two cities. The normal Ironwood would've assess the situation and see how good it was working and help. Not this man.

V8 ruined Ironwood's character for ME. He was at the peak of the greatest characters ever in my opinion, do not even badmouth V2 Ironwood I'll have your head.

[xylemloz]

Character ask meme:

The Obligatory First

Also

Twilight if you don't mind

ok this will be pretty hard because there isn't much content OR fan content of first LOL

first

What I love about them: he is the only hero that understood the full scope of what he was getting into, and held almost no bitterness in his heart about it. he knew the consequences and made every choice himself to be the hero. he's been faced with the worst of humanity by being freaking tortured for a crime he didn't commit, but still lets them use him and takes up the mantle of the hero because he appreciates the best of humanity and loves his home. that is so sexy of him What I hate about them: the fact that he exists for only like 30 pages that are like... not confirmed canon? i wish he had more time to grow because he had a lot of potential. rarely do i find any people who care about him as much as i do simply because all content of him can be consumed in 10 minutes and isn't even in the common knowledge of many. i honestly don't blame them Favorite Moment/Quote: when he said "all of you seek my answer. you use me whenever it suits you" then still reforged the master sword i lost my mind. perfect example of how aware he is that he's expendable by the end of all this but again, is given a choice, and chooses to do the heroic thing What I would like to see more focus on: well he literally DOESNT get focused on. so i guess i want more focus on the fact he exists??? What I would like to see less focus on: NO i want more focus on this guy i have yet to see anyone outside of like 10 people focus on him Favorite pairing with: first x the grind. this man is hustling, got no time for love. Favorite friendship: honestly with the timeshift stone shenanigans i really think i would love the dynamic between him and sky. tired guy and silly guy just hanging out. tired man has a hidden mischievousness and enables sky's batshit behavior. "can i eat this [weird treasure from the surface] it looks very juicy and tasty" "i aint paying for the medical bill but i want to see you try" kind of vibe. you know. NOTP: i guess with anyone? i'm not into shipping him with anyone, but i also don't have any strong feelings Against any pairing

Favorite headcanon: he wants to be touched but at the same time he's scared of it. like he's been imprisoned for many years so i bet human contact is awesome but it's also hard to separate when someone wants to touch just normally or has ill intent and wants to cause hurt

twilight

What I love about them: literally just a guy. just a normal farmer boy in his farmer adoptive family in his farmer village. he is way out of his depth when he gets shoved into the predicament he's in, with no idea of how hero stuff works, and then really only cares about saving the village kids at first. everyone's like "for the sake of hyrule" and whatever but he's just a family man. does all the shit he does just to keep them safe. it's only as he meets more people along the way that he understands what his importance as the hero is. it's very nice

What I hate about them: honestly, in the game and LU, i find him kind of boring. he doesn't emote much, he doesn't Show much outside of caring about the kids, etc. in LU he is just kind of like Time Jr. and his entire identity is just being related to Time and also secretly being a wolf. not really a captivating guy

Favorite Moment/Quote: literally had to think so hard about this one but i've decided that i'd have to say (from LU) it's when he was pulling legend's leg about wolves not being pets. from the game itself i would probably say him saving colin on eldin bridge was the most epic thing mine eyes have laid upon

What I would like to see more focus on: him actually being a little crazy a little wild. clearly this dude is out of his mind and he should be given permission to be the troublemaker his heart knows he is deep down. he would dropkick the other heroes in a play fight man idk

What I would like to see less focus on: the fact that he's directly related to the hero of time. he's his own guy doing his own thing

Favorite pairing with: i'm not huge on anything but midna good i guess? i see her more like a really close friend though

Favorite friendship: MIDNA. i love how much the both of them grow and midna goes from being a jerk who selfishly uses link to get what she wants to actually caring for him when she realizes that he doesn't mind. midna uses him to her advantage by using his family as bait but realizes as she sees his love for those people that it is very much real just like her lvoe for her kingdom. and the fact that she was being an asshole because she really was just scared of being in this new weak form and wanting to get back to the throne as fast as possible by pushing link around... cheers to that bro. when they come to an understanding and she starts speaking softly and tenderly to him... FUCKING CHEERS to that bro.

NOTP: i dont have one. people can ship whatever and i will look at it and go like that is pretty cool

Favorite headcanon: no way this guy could acclimate to a slow and quiet village life after his entire journey of literally killing the king of evil. having no one to confide to about the entire journey (nobody but midna saw what he truly experienced), i think he would find trouble trying to get anyone in the village to understand what really happened to him. so he would probably leave ordon post-game and try to find a way to meet midna again

[chrolloctrl]

How would be the adult trio in love ?? I'm really looking forward to your writing 😳😳💖💖💖🙏😎

omg this is something i’ve been thinking about so long since i feel like some people REALLY don’t write the adultrio well when they are in love. of course they are all borderline psychotic but i do not think they are incapable of love. i said what i said anyways let me continue

im going to do this as a head canon if thats okay!! if you want me eventually develop a specific character into a one shot i definitely will:)

warnings: like some mention of blood and fighting, maybe a lil mention of sexual things, nothing too bad tho theres one really explicit blood/gore mention in hisokas but that is a very hisoka thing so i have decided to leave it there

first i’m doing illumi bc yall miss with illumi so hard

okay so

first of all, he was a definitely a child with an avoidant attachment style

basically when mummy was there he was annoyed, when mummy left he didn’t care or was probably happy, and when mummy came back he was annoyed once again

this child did not experience love as a child

not once

zip

zero

nada

so u have to be patient with him im sorry to say

but it isn’t impossible

i think when he’s in love, he doesn’t realize it

he thinks he’s just in a sort of...agreement with you

but im telling u right now.. small acts of kindness are his love language

like if u guys were in a fight together and there was blood on ur clothes he would wash them and lay them on ur bed

and then u would be like “ok u didn’t have to do that thats so nice”

and he’d be like “i dont know what ur talking about”

and walk away

or

he would see like a book or something u like and read it just because u liked it too

he wouldn’t tell u tho he would just randomly bring up something from the book 

and you would be like “oh u read it?” 

and he would be like “no why would u think that”

and you would be like “:|”

with illumi u just have to be patient, i think eventually he would catch himself making ur bed one day and he would be like “fuck”

and realize he might have a thing for u

but he wouldnt believe it bc he is oh so emotionless and does not feel one thing at all

but he does he is just a liar

i think he would make his first move when he accidentally lets out all the emotions hes been faking not having and like just cries wishing he were loved and ur like

“i love u though illumi, a lot”

and he would just kiss u and like hug ur for 3 hours and then make u not talk about it ever again but u guys would just be in love and killua would be kinda pressed but he’d be happy u were illumi’s gon <3

okay let’s do chrollo next im sorry illumi’s was so long 

alright

as u can tell i am in love with this man

and everyone always bashes me bc he has no screentime and a pretty basic anime antagonist backstory

but out of all of the adultrio i think he falls in love the easiest and with someone nobody expects

like he is a mass murderer and thief and ur like...a flower shop worker

he would just be walking in yorknew city and see u reading some obsecure ass russian literature while working at a flower shop and he’d be like “wait im intrigued”

then he would talk to u and u would be like

:D

but also calm and reserved

and he would love that, someone who just vibes not a worry in the world

but then as he gets to know u he realizes u r not just a body bag who vibes

u r a human with actual emotions

something he probably swears he doesnt have

he would tell the rest of the troupe that ur just like...an experiment

and they would all buy it EXCEPT machi

she would be like “omg boss ur in love”

and chrollo would be like “um i dont feel that sry to say”

and machi would be like “ya sure lol”

you have no idea who he is like no clue he is the lead spider

but okay omg this part is gonna be corny

you would like hehe sorry im laughing thinking ab this

walking around yorknew city and he would almost step on a spider and u would be like “no!!! be careful!!” and pick up the spider and lightly set it into the grass

and chrollo would be like “why would u do that spiders r scary...right” *looks into the camera like hes on the office*

and u would be like “no..even spiders have feelings u know”

and then he would just like absolutely lose it he’d maintain composure but on the inside he would be like dhdkhduwojhfw

then he would kiss u and then he would finally tell the troupe the truth and machi would be sooo smug 

oh and the troupe def likes u like that is a given

ur just so innocent and sweet its like impossible not to like u u make everyone put away their tough guy acts

and then ya u guys probably read to each other u weird fucks

but its cute and i love

alright now for probably the person who would take the longest to love someone 

i dont know if u have read hisokas backstory one shot but i will try to explain the best i can

hisoka was in circus. lead man of circus say hisoka talented. lead man train hisoka to use nen. hisoka learns nen very fast. oh no serial killer is on the loose. oh no girl in circus almost get killed by serial killer. hisoka save girl. hisoka accuse lead man of being serial killer. lead man say yes lol i am. hisoka say okay i want 2 fight. lead man say sure lol i will kill u. hisoka kill lead man and girl in circus wonders where hisoka and lead man went.

okay now that thats out of the way

the girls name was abaki and i think hisoka liked her ngl

but that was before u know he got all gassed by killing lead man

he definitely thinks similar to illumi in the way that u r just a pawn in his plans

but u r def super strong and he is shook

he probably wants to fight u

but he still doesnt think ur strong enough

u live ur own life separately from his so he doesnt know much ab what u do in ur free time

one day he catches u training with someone else

and he won’t say it but hes lowkey pissed af

hes like “um wtf why didnt u ask me to train u

and ur like “literally why would i ever do that”

and hes like “what u think i cant train”

and ur like “u can barely control ur bloodlust hisoka :|” 

hes like “yeah u know ur right i guess”

but he doesnt stop thinking ab it bc like why wouldnt u train with him

u decide to go on ur own lil mission and try to fight someone you’ve been wanting to fight for a while

you invite hisoka just to watch, you tell him you just want him to sit around this time since you always sit around and watch him

he expects u to get beat to a pulp ngl

but you like completely obliterate the other person

this is too niche but u have such a gory fighting style. like ur def batshit crazy in a fight and loose all composure 

hisoka is shook bc he did not expect u to go that crazy

u like bite the other dudes jugular and blood splatters every where

that was so gross but idk im into that weird shit sorry im tw’ing that

but hisoka is a weird mf so that def makes him horny for u

he like takes u back to ur house while ur covered in blood and theres a crazy look in ur eye still

and he realizes hes in love with u bc ur just as crazy as him

i feel like ur guys relationships spawns bc of how crazy u both are. u guys probably summon demons for fun

i feel like his love language is more i do for u what u do for me

like if u save his ass in a fight, he’ll watch a cheesy movie for u

its def a give and receive vibe but it works

or if he saves ur ass he makes u guys take a bath together

and ur like “this is so cheesy”

and hes like “um ur having fun tho right” *crickets* “yea thats what i thought”

muah gonna think ab this before i go to bed

alr i think i wrote WAYYY too much omg these are all so long i am so sorry, too many thought in brain keyboard go woosh

hope u liked it though <3

[definitely-not-an-alb]

fanfic tropes! identity porn, friends to enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, coffeeshop au (don't have to answer them all, pick what you like). hope work went by quickly :)

Ahhh! Thank you, anon!

Identity Porn

How  likely am I to write it: Identity porn isn’t really a narrative kink  for me, so I wouldn’t go out of my way to put it into anything, if it didn't come up naturally. Or if it would be funny.

What characters/ships/fandoms would I write it for: I don’t  really have a lot of fandom I could do identity porn for, too, so that's the next problem I have. RoL doesn't go for it much, and neither do TMA or Witcher or SGA. In the MCU/marvel comics I'm kind of only invested in Characters that just superhero under their legal name, zero fucks given in all canons I'm aware of, so oops there. Hannibal, maybe? Hannibal might work. Altho I prefere season 2 era, with everyone vague degrees of aware of each other's bs and scheming like petty murder divas.

Friends to enemies to lovers

How  likely am I to write it: Very unlikely. I think the only thing with this dynamic I like is Hannibal, as in, both Hannigram and Clannibal and Clannigram, but I don't think I'd really seek it out in fic or write it. I don't even know why, I should be into The Drama Of It All, but I'm just not.

What characters/ships/fandoms would I write it for: Like I said, Hannigram/Clannibal/Clannigram, if it's something that retells an arc. I don't really do Ironstrange, but enemies to lovers or friends to enemies to lovers might be the only way I would, probably. They just don't get along in canon, and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why people ship it so much. Also why is their Doc always ooc. Enough moaning, I'll stop, I'll stop. Have fun ya'll, but stop the goddamn cross/mass-tagging. There shouldn't be that much Ironstrange in the gen tag, ya hear me?

hurt/comfort

How  likely am I to write it: VERY LIKELY. Hmmmmmm give me that good hurt/comfort.

What characters/ships/fandoms would I write it for: Basically everything, lol. All my faves are idiots who need to be shipped with therapy and tortured with hugs. The Bev & Thomas fic is very hurt comfort-y, as is the Nonromantic-Soulmates WIP. Yes I know I never finish anything, shhhh. There's also an unfinished Strangewong fic in my drafts that's technically sick!fic (I MEAN ... what else lmao) and involves cuddling and soup and being sad about Endgame, so. Which, btw, is THE ONLY reason I will ever acknowledge that dumbassery masquerading as plot. To mine it for FRIDGE HORROR *evil laughter*. And then hand out soup.

coffeeshop au

How  likely am I to write it: Relatively unlikely? I don't really do fluff without plot (and I'm down with emotions as plot or snapshots that reveal something halway and sideways), and incidentally the only version of this trope I ever started would need a Graphic Violence tag lol. (If it wasn't LANGUISHING IN MY DRAFTS.) So I think I might be doing this trope wrong. Also doesn't help that I have experience manning a beer-counter / drink station, so I fall hard in the camp of 'that's an awful place for cute/fluffy shenanigans, have ya'll ever worked customer service lol'-camp. I see the appeal, but I also ... don't.

What characters/ships/fandoms would I write it for: Like I said, the only one I ever started was low-key a joke, because I don't do the trope and the fandom didn't have (and still doesn't have) one, and also because, you know. Graphic violence.

Have the first four or so paragraphs of the very unfinished RoL Demi-Monde Coffeeshop ... pre-canon canon divergence. Is there even a tag for that kinda thing? Anyways. I think the best part about this is getting to write a snotty totally-an-adult!!!-Peter who has zero respect for anything and thinks Thomas is the most ridiculous person he ever met. No graphic violence yet, only canon-typical ableist language.

There’s a lot of reasons people hate working in customer service; The bad pay, the atrocious hours, the customers, the service.

I did about two year of it, first on-and-off positions in some retail shops around where I grew up, punctuated by getting dragged along to my mother’s cleaning gigs, and then later, about a year in a not-actually-fancy Coffee House near Russell Square. And I figured afterwards my stint in customer service and retail had, at the very least, taught my younger self some much needed humility and compassion.

I’m kidding, of course. It just confirmed the suspicions I held towards my fellow humans. Especially the kind that start magic duels in public.

Now, I worked in a Coffee House, not a coffeshop, which meant Management got to price everything even more ridiculous then the rest of the world, we played wannabe-jazz elevator music instead of pop and our clientele wasn’t weird and crazy but more slightly bizarre and very deranged.

Like that one vaguely East-European guy who thought combining windowpane and paisley was a grand idea and who we – that’s the staff – did certainly not call Dracula, or the posh black lady who came to pick up her coffee before heading into the City every morning, except for that one time when, I swear on my dad’s record collection, she was wearing a diving suit under her costume, and of course Mister Stranger-Danger, who was the reason younger cousins didn’t get to do their homework behind the counter any more.

Of course we got your everyday stroll-by white girls and hipsters, but our regulars where, as far as I could tell, decidedly posh, but mostly not yet fully upper class, and also completely batshit looney, is what I’m saying. No offence to actual crazy people, because they certainly don’t dress that badly.

That’s why I didn’t even bat an eyelash when one day someone walked into the shop who was either a time-travelling noir-spy or a runaway extra from Downton Abbey.

He was a white guy, in that inexplicable past-40 age range where I can’t tell their age for the life of me, with a side sweep that must have been held in place with actual pomade, and dressed in one of those sleek looking, old suits with the broad, deep lapels and incredible narrow waists. To round off the impression that he’d come over, lean homoerotically close and tell me the name of the Kraut’s informant any moment now, he’d draped a Burberry over his arm and lugged an actual, honest to god walking cane around the city. It seemed impractical to me, but who am I to judge people’s fashion choices; I’m only the barista.

He also had that stiff demeanour about him, which I’d taken as a sign of something shifty going on anywhere else. Here, in seven out of ten cases, and even more with posh dudes, it meant that he longed to order something utterly ridiculous, with a long name, six ingredient and maybe some speculoos dust uptop, but didn’t have the courage too. Honestly, the way grown men start acting once there’s pumpkin spice on the menu is hilarious – you’d think we’re selling sex toys under the table.

[pinkjeanist]

jordan’s rated list of old men she goes batshit over in no particular order except they’re all rated 10/10 and my commentary gets progressively more chaotic

- stay tuned for a list of jordan’s favorite NOT old men, coming to a dank river valley near you

1. piandao from avatar

- he’s only in 2 episodes but i would die for him. i think the fact that he left the military bc he wanted to and then beat the shit out of the HUNDRED FIRE NATION SOLDIERS that came to arrest him and then they never bothered him again is pretty hot. i also like how he saw sokka and immediately adopted him bc sokka’s actual dad can’t be around too much with the war going on. 10/10 would bone

2. dracula from castlevania

- im pretty sure hes like at least 500 years old so thats hot. i really like his facial hair. very old man of him. hes also the hottest bitch other than issac in castlevania so jot that down. 10/10 would let him suck my blood

3. shiro fujimoto from blue exorcist

- now i aint never been a christian but i’d give my right kidney to jesus if it meant i could bone shiro. im a slut for hot guys that read bible verses before they kill someone. hes also like. the ultimate dad. i love the way he interacts with his kids and how much he loves them. 10/10 would praise the lord

4. GIRAN!!!!!!!!!🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

- he might be the hottest guy on this list other than shiro (have you figured out my type yet?). i wanna sit on his lap while he blows smoke in my face. his confidence and sleazy attitude make me go COMPLETELY batshit. 10/10 would let him use me as an ashtray.

5. all might

- he was my first fav character in bnha and is still up there with giran and compress. im not usually into big stronk men but i would die for him. i would also die for small might, perhaps even more so than stronk might. 10/10 would worship him in either form

6. kotetsu kaburagi from tiger and bunny

- hes trying his best to be a good dad. i admire that in a man. hes also super fucking hot, especially when hes fighting, and ESPECIALLY when he and barnaby are fighting as a duo. i also really ship them but we arent gonna get into that. 10/10 would become a villain just to have him arrest and wife me

7. hakoda from atla

- hes a man i would actually sneak into the fire nation and defeat the fire lord over. hes such a good dad, and hes so hot, and i love him so much. 10/10 would help him start a prison riot bc he cant do it on his own.

8. keith flick from b the beginning

i cant remember anything about him but hes so hot. when i watched b the beginning, i tried to focus on the plot but now i cant remember anything else about it bc i was constantly staring at him. 10/10 would do something to him, idk what bc i cant remember anything about him

9. captain burns from fire force

- *keke palmer voice* imma be honest, i dont know who this man is! if i saw him walking down the street, i...i wouldnt know a thing. i havent seen fire force yet but i’d bone him so fast. you wouldnt even see me comin. im like sonic, on my way to bone a dude i dont know. im a speedster. im so fast. kachow. anyway big stronk hot man with grey hair makes my head spin all dizzy mmmmhmmmmm 10/10 would bone

10. mephisto from blue exorcist

- hes fucking crazy. i like that in a man. old demon man thats off his fuckin rocker and chants in german. whenever i see him mambo number 5 starts playing in my head. hes so hot that a school of demon killers let a demon be headmaster. yes thats canon. no im not accepting criticism of this take. 10/10 would worship satan if it meant i could bone him and his wack ass eyebrows

im gonna stop at ten. ive thirsted enough. now all of china knows im horny