#man! i am on a posting ROLL

[safyresky]

Smile Shots: When Bernard Met Jacqueline

Summary:

Bernard and Jacqueline tell Elle the story of how they met, and the centuries long friendship that ensued.

Check it out on ao3 and ff dot net :)

Guess what item was NEXT on the GLOW UP AGENDA! THE BERLINE FRIENDSHIP STORY, YEAH BABY!

I wanted to post it here but apparently, it has more than 1000 text block breaks which is apparently tumblr's limit. Of course.

Anyway! Enjoy a preview below the cut! :)

“You’re sing-songy this noon, Jacqueline.”

“Lalala—huh? Oh! Mhmm! Didn’t you see? We passed music! They were playing music!”

“Naturally.”

“So now it’s stuck in my head! Very fun! But it won’t get out of my head.”

“Very not fun for me.”

“It was a really big room with all sorts of weird instruments, and lots of colours, and happy little elfies—”

A very clear image of the music room popped into Jack’s head, then. Complete with elves and Jacqueline’s unique on-Jack's-shoulders point of view.

Well. That was an interesting new thing they could do.

“Jack.”

He groaned. Pulling a face, Jack turned around, a brilliant smile replacing the scowl as he watched Santa’s irritating head elf march their way.

“Bean pole.”

Bernard pulled up in front of them, placing his hands behind his back and ignoring the slight. (Rude, Jack thought). He could feel Jacqueline shifting forward in interest, folding her hands on top of his head.

“Council’s reconvening. Mother Nature wanted me to let you know that she knows you and your Legate have already been sworn in, but she expects you both to stay for the remainder of the proceedings.”

Jack grimaced, nose wrinkling. He glanced up at Jacqueline. She was wide awake and very interested in everything right now, it looked (and felt) like. So much for the “sleepy toddler” excuse, then. She’d be very unconvincing.

“Fine,” Jack sniffed. “We’ll be back posthaste and all that.”

Bernard looked surprised. And relieved. “Huh. That was easier than I expected. Thanks Jack.”

The nerve, Jack thought, watching as the elf walked away. “That was easier than I expected,” he mocked, sticking his tongue out at Bernard's retreating form.

He straightened. Dear Lady above. He really needed to tone down the hanging-out-with-a-toddler time. It was really bringing down his pristinely cultivated maturité.

“Down! Down!”

“What? You just wanted up!”

“Well now I want down! Pretty please.”

“I don’t know, Jacqueline. That please sounded like an afterthought.”

He was unsurprised when he felt her little toes once again digging into his shoulders, her face appearing before him with an over the top and yet, still adorable little pout. How did she make her eyes go that big. What was wrong with her.

“P-w-leaseeeeeeeee Jack? Pretty pretty please???? With powdery snow on top???”

“Alright, fine. Get back up there. And fix your face.”

Cackling (yes, really, the child was cackling), Jacqueline smirked at him, popping back up on his shoulders. Seconds later her arms were around his neck and she slid down his back and threw herself over his shoulders, succeeding in nothing but a decent imitation of a necktie.

“Jacqueline. You really need to work on your chill.”

“What? No I don't! You said it was perfect just last week!”

“Not—” Jack paused to let out a laugh. “Not your literal chill! The art of being chill.”

She stopped squirming, hanging off of Jack’s neck, head tilted up at him.

“Oh. Right.”

Rolling his eyes fondly, Jack grabbed her waist, placing her down gently.

“Honestly, Jacqueline. I’m super chill, not super fast. Have some patience. Hand please, if you're going to insist on being on the floor.”

“Hehe. Okay.” She grabbed his hand, letting him gently tug her back towards the meeting room. “Who was that?”

“Who?”

“The guy you thought was rude!”

Ah. She could hear his thoughts, too. Best be careful about that, Jack thought. To himself.

“That was Santa’s Number One Elf.”

“He had a cool hat. I liked it.”

“Yeah. I’m sure he’d let you wear it in a heartbeat.”

Jacqueline stopped, pulling Jack with her. Her eyes had done that “getting big” thing again.

“REALLY?!”

Jack blinked. And got a terrible idea.

“Why, of course! C’mon, Jacqueline. Who can say no to you.”

She looked positively devious. “NO ONE.”

“Exactly. Tell you what. Why don’t you go find him and ask? I’m sure he’ll say yes. Just make sure you call him by his preferred name! It's Bernie. He loves his name. You go and catch up to him, okay? Just. Don’t get lost!”

“Okay! Wait. How will I find you?”

“Tell you what. I’m going to go to the...restroom quickly, and then I’ll go find you, and we can head back to Gran. Okay?”

“Okay!”

“Have fun! Be safe! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Jack shouted after her retreating form, smile dropping as soon as his sister was out of view.

A quick trip to the restroom…or perhaps, instead, a quick trip to Santa’s office to do something about this whole unlawful exclusion he’d managed to get?

Same difference, Jack thought, slinking away through the lesser used hallways of the Workshop.

___

What frozen hell will Jack wrought? Will Jacqueline find this. Bernie? Will she get to wear his HAT? WILL BERNARD EVER CATCH A BREAK?!?! Not when friendship with Jacqueline is involved >:)

Catch the newly updated version on ao3 HERE and ff.net HERE. I'll reblog this after a NAP with some A/N's/the change log and the cake recipe lol :)

[monsterboyblood]

Does anyone else ever get emotional over the idea that Rock loves Proto Man like a brother even in the continuities where he doesn’t know they’re actually brothers? Because I am so emotional about it all the time. If MM12 ever gets made I hope to god it’s the one where Rock finally finds out he’s related to Proto because we really need more of them being dorky brothers.

Also yes Proto being shorter than Rock was completely intentional. He may be Rock and Roll’s big brother in birth (construction?) order but not at all in stature.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

a herd of him

[anxious-chaos-art]

Boss makes a dollar i make a dime, that’s why I goof off on company time

[blushedfemmes]

screamingggg i need every single butchfemme who’s ever loved jane austen or regency era period dramas to read “I Shall Never Fall in Love” by Hari Conner it’s a graphic novel feat. a queer romance and a transmasc MC and it’s extremely butchfemme and it’s so realistic to the time period and not sugarcoated at all and i literally just stayed up way later than i should have to finish it and oh my fucking god i need someone else to read this so i can scream about it with them. my fellow pride & prejudice femmes if you have ever daydreamed abt a butch darcy READ THIS BOOK I BEG

[letsbesharkfriends]

me: rushes to watch the new video

also me: pauses to take 100 screenshots

[bealzebubs-blog]

I know I'm late to the whole miku around the world trend but have trad goth Brit miku.

[thereigning-lorelai]

[wildsaltair]

now that the seven busiest days of the year are FINALLY over, I can get back to my Maximus insanity. here have a close-up of the hands and arms that make guest appearances in every daydream I have ever had

[pastelaspirations]

Is your fanfic on ao3 or somewhere else?? I need to get to reading it lol

W e l l. U m. Okay. Like, I should have expected this. Especially with a certain TWO people going around, clamoring for people to read it. Am side-eying you, Moldiee and Anayz, h a r d-

So uh. Y e a h, it's on ao3. Linked here for your convenience. JUST. It's l o n g. It doesn't start out that way, it starts off short, but then just gets longer and l o n g e r and-

Let's just say you're going to be reading this for a while probably

[atlasishere]

ok so this was something my friend started but actually genuinely helped me apply what i was learning in therapy, especially with my anxiety

WWMGD

What Would Ms Gilbert Do?

the basics steps are:

1. Take a breath

2. Look and explain what’s going on

3. Make a learning moment from it

or, breathe, explain the situation causing distress, and find the logical takeaway and apply it

Anyways never thought my silly goofy DND Podcast would help me through my daily life ig

[konohamaru-sensei]

screenshot collection of me losing my mind to @moonamayillu and @foolishk about the uramichi-oniisan artbook

[weedgay]

[infomercial voice] do you like OMORI? do you like trauma narratives and horror elements? do you like FREE SHIT?

play END ROLL today !!!!

[oldschool-analog]

THIS SHIT IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE

“Jared and I weren’t the soldiering types, but in a way, we’d been to battle together, and there was no one else besides the two of us who knew the true depths of what we had done.”

“Either way, the takeaway for me was the same: miracle of all miracles, Jared Kleinman had a heart.”

WHAT??? HUH????? VAL EMMICH??? HE WROTE THIS AND THEY *LET* HIM?????? I HAVE MAJOR BEEF WITH THE NOVEL BUT THIS IS THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF IT

[mercymaker]

not to complain about shrinking fandoms and the general approach to fandom artists as content machines to be squeezed for your enjoyment and then left empty as you move to the next but man can it be depressing sometimes.

gonna sound like an old™ for a hot second, but it really eats at your soul to see what these beloved spaces are becoming after experiencing so much joy and connection before, especially here on tumblr. to look back at the 'golden age' and look at this place that feels less and less like a community and more like something i don't recognize. to see even the most popular art, the most beloved writing have abhorrent like to reblog ratios.

i don't know what happened and it's likely a mixture of so many things, but somehow the naive dickhead in me thought that things would get better, that we would learn from past mistakes, that we would listen to artists and creators. but that is not the case, unfortunately.

[dreamsicle262]

if the reading comprehension of some people who do make dead plate text posts is so bad (as i've had at least two people tell me in the tags) then maybe i SHOULD start analyzing every little detail in the game.