#male personality traits that women find attractive

[ranjith11]

Male Personality Traits That Women Find Attractive | how to attract women

Male Personality Traits That Women Find Attractive In this video, we uncover the science behind the traits that women find incredibly attractive in men. From confidence and style to empathy, and charisma, flirting, body language we'll explore the characteristics that create deep connections and leave a lasting impact. We'll show you how to actually build a sense of attraction.

[beifong-brainrot]

I think if aang was 14 or 16, or even 15, which is apparently the age he was planned to be told he was avatar at, by the time series began, kataang would have been more popular even among zutarians.

I can certainly see that, but I think Aang's personality and unorthodox appearance (for a westwrn show anyway) contribute to the dislike of him as a romantic partner.

Not only is Aang's appearance not stereotypically what young girls are told to find attractive in men (round features, big eyes, smaller stature, baldness) but his personality is also more stereotypically "feminine" which even girls are taught to look down on in men and male characters. In stark opposition, Zuko, especially in the first book, but also still throughout the series, is extremely hypermasculin, which often is something we're taught is good to "pair" with femininity of characters like Katara.

I notice that a lot of Zutara fans seem to subconciously have this gender essentialism esque view, where Katara's "natural femininity" is more drawn to Zuko's mascline traits than Aang's more "effeminate" ones. Aang's behaviour and demeanour are percieved as feminine and therefore undesirable to women.

This is also why Aang is often emasculated and infantiliased when they criticise him. To lessen him as a potential partner for Katara, because it's Zuko's more masculine behaviours that they find more alluring or interesting.

[ecoterrorist-katara]

The only stereotypically masculine thing about Aang…is his romantic arc

There’s a really popular post on Tumblr called “Avatar Aang, Feminist Icon.” The thesis is basically that Aang, unlike his female teachers and friends, is actually not a badass. He listens, he defers, and he respects women. He seemed to have no problem with Katara’s crush on Jet, despite his own crush on her. He chooses love and kindness and friendship and pacifism. He’s not tall and handsome as hell or buff. He wears flower crowns!

And I agree! This is Aang for most of the series and I love those qualities (though I do think the bar is in hell if those traits make a character a feminist icon, as opposed to a person who simply sees women as human beings). Anyway, I just think there’s a glaring omission. And that’s Aang’s romantic arc in season 3.

Bryke managed to take the worst of both worlds: Aang’s romantic arc retains the male-centricity that make most romances so problematic, while retaining none of the characteristics that make problematic romances compelling to women.

Aang falls in love at first sight with a beautiful girl. For the majority of their friendship, he remains respectful and supportive. As his crush hits an all time high, however, it gets distinctly more stereotypical: he kisses Katara at the invasion, and when she didn’t want to talk about that kiss, he firebends at her (the fact that this comic is canon, and was published years after ATLA’s conclusion, only demonstrates that the creators still don’t understand critiques of their romance). Aang considers Katara “his girl” and becomes furious (“I would be in the Avatar state right now!”) when the actress version of Katara didn’t like him romantically, and then he kisses her again — this time explicitly against her wishes. Throughout the show, people reassure him that she will come around, continuously reinforcing the idea that Katara is “his” and he just has to be patient. And even though Ka/taang is supposed to be endgame, we never hear directly from Katara how she feels, even though we’re no strangers to her opinions and feelings on other topics. It’s almost like the creators wanted Katara’s feelings to be a mystery because we’re meant to resonate with Aang. That’s…a male-centric, action hero romance.

In addition, the friendship dynamics between Katara and Aang feel pretty gendered. The distribution of emotional labour between Aang and Katara is quite skewed: Katara takes care of Aang much more than he takes care of her. She’s the one responsible for calming him down from the Avatar State. She’s the one who cooks for him and performs a whole lot of domestic chores. Post-canon, Katara’s storyline revolves around Aang, and she’s treated as his accessory and the keeper of his legacy instead of her own person, to the degree that she’s not even recognizable in LOK anymore. A beautiful, badass, independent woman who dedicates her energy and intelligence to a man’s needs? Wow, that is definitely something I’ve never seen in media geared towards men!

A lot of gushing about Aang’s lack of stereotypical masculinity seems to also hinge on how Aang is not conventionally attractive, but that’s…not true. Aang may not behave like James Bond, but he has plenty of admirers. Meng and On Ji liked him even without knowing that he’s the Avatar. Post-series, Acolytes descend en masse to steal Katara’s man. And of course he grows into a tall, buff dude. Aang’s romantic arc is not about becoming attractive to women, or finding a woman who loves him despite his looks. His romantic arc is about getting the girl who’s hard to get, because she only sees him as a friend or a little brother / babysitting charge.

Bryke do not deserve the credit for creating a “feminist icon,” not when the only stereotypically masculine traits they gave him are in relation to his romance arc. It honestly feels more insidious this way, because it’s like, “see? You don’t have to be masculine to reap the benefits of performing masculinity” — the benefits being, of course, “getting” the girl you want.

[catinafigtree]

Hi, do you have any tips on how to be comfortable being a Muslim while being queer?

I've been trying to do that for a very long time, focusing on my faith in Allah, but it's a bit hard and I always get demotivated randomly :(

Hey! Salam! Sorry for the kind of late response, moving houses has been hectic. This will be a long response (sorry), so I will put it under the cut.

I want to preface this by saying every queer person is different. I don't know the specifics of your identity so I am going to cover both sexual queerness and gender queerness.

My biggest obstacle in nurturing my relationship with Allah was believing that the way I am was haram, and even that I was cursed by Allah. I no longer believe this, but it was a long road.

Sexuality

I don't believe that homosexuality is haram. The common claim that the story of Lut is about homosexuality is full of holes and inconsistencies and it's largely based on the Christian religious tradition, even if the grammar of the Qur'an doesn't align with the Christian tradition (eg. the Qur'an uses the word "banaat" for Prophet Lut's (as) daughters. Bannat is plural, meaning 3 or more daughters, and in the traditional telling Lut (as) has 2 daughters).

Here is a really good study by Nahida Nisa:

I recommend reading all of Nahida's things because she's an amazing writer.

And a video from Dr. Shehnaz Haqaani's (PhD, Islamic Studies) podcast "What The Patriarchy":

and you can find her blog here

These articles from the blog, Lamp of Islam are also pretty good. He is a hardcore Qur'anist with some strange opinions, so peruse his blog with caution.

Letting go of the belief that the way I am was haram and that Allah had cursed me was the most critical part of fixing my iman and overall nurturing my relationship with Allah.

Also, it doesn't make any sense that The All-Merciful, Allah would make someone with an innate attraction to the same gender and then forbid them from "acting on it".

The Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) never punished anyone for homosexuality, after his death, his companions debated whether or not to punish homosexuals and they could not come to a conclusion.

Gender

The Qur'an seems to acknowledge the differences between sex and gender. For example, the word for 'man' in the Qur'an is rijal and the word for 'male' is dhukran. And the word for 'woman' is nisa, but the word for 'female' is untsa. You can read Lamp of Islam's article on the meanings of these words here.

There also may be a vague reference to intersex and/or gender non-conforming people in verse 42:50.

There are also some hadith that seem to imply that gender non-conforming people were accepted around Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam). Prophet Muhammad's (Salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) wife Umm Salama (Radi Allahu anha) had a seemingly close friend who was then called a 'mukhanath', named Hit, who was described as a 'male who exhibited effeminate traits' was was welcome into the private women's section of the Prophet's (Salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) home. Today this person might have been a gay man (who displayed effeminate traits by accepting the "woman's role" (🙄) in relationships), or, more likely IMO, this person would be considered a trans woman today.

Hit was punished by the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam), but not for their sexuality/gender expression, they were punished for describing a woman's body to a man, which was possible because they were allowed into both men's and women's spaces. The punishment of Hit is often used as 'evidence' to support homophobia and transphobia, but they neglect to mention the specific reason that Hit was punished.

You can read more about queerness in Islamic history here.

The link above takes you to Muslims For Progressive Values, they also offer marriage services for queer Muslims and interfaith couples, specifically for Muslim women seeking to marry non-Muslim men.

Here is a link to MPV's video series, but massive trigger warning for the comment section.

And a second MPV video series.

And another article from MPV.

More Tips

As I said, learning about LGBTQ Islamic History helped me a lot.

Keep your relationship with Allah between you and Him. Only share it with people who you 100% trust, because religion is extremely personal.

Find your people. Whether online or in-person, a community of people like you is important.

Know that Allah knows you, your identity, and the way you feel. Ultimately, Allah is your creator and we will only return to him. And we, as queer people KNOW that this is the way we were created. Nobody can tell you that who you are is false because they have no way to know that.

Block. Block. Block. Block. Block anyone who is being a problem, who might become a problem in the future. Block them all. Block Islamophobic queers, block queerphobic Muslims. Protect your peace and your relationship with Allah at all costs.

Here are people that I block quickly: anyone who has outwardly queerphobic or Islamophobic things posted on their page. Salafis and Wahabis. The black flag freaks: those with black flags in their user names/bios. I block people for the comments they leave all the time. Generally, I don't wait for them to do something, I block them on sight.

You mentioned that you struggle with low imaan sometimes. It's important to know that fluctuations of imaan are normal and completely natural. But I'm assuming since you've sent this ask, you always come back, which is what's important.

Here is another video from Dr. Shehnaz Haqaani's (PhD Islamic Studies) Podcast for Muslims who struggle to practice.

And a TikTok from @/soundous.boualam:

My biggest tip for building faith is to start slow.

Pray one prayer a day at first, and wait until that prayer is deeply ingrained into your habits, then add another. I recommend starting with Isha before bed. Don't try to do everything at once. You'll burn yourself out.

Build up the fard actions. Your prayers, primarily.

If you can take on more, add in the dhikr after prayer (subhanallah 33x, alhamdullilah 33x, and allahu akbar 34x). Or add dhikr in throughout your day. I use an app called Azkar that I set to send notifications to remind me to do various worship activities.

When I braid my hair I say alhamdullilah every time I cross a piece over another.

If you can, it might also help to put a poster or picture on your wall with your favorite Qur'an verse, hadith, or Islamic quote on your wall, or make your screensaver a reminder to remember Allah.

You can also buy or make a beaded tasbih bracelet, sometimes having something on your wrist can make it easier to remember.

I also like to spend 20-30 minutes every morning after Fajr to just spend time with Allah, talk to Him, and read the Qur'an.

But also remember that you don't only get rewarded for outright acts of worship. You get rewarded for caring for your body, taking a nap when you're tired, eating food, drinking water, caring for pets, and spending time with family. All of that stuff is worship.

Be easy with yourself. Allah does not want hardship for you (2:185).

And I'll leave you with a Qur'an verse.

It was We Who created man, and We know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him that [his] jugular vein. (50:16)

I hope this helps you some. I love you. Allah loves you. May Allah bless you with peace, imaan, and His abundant guidance and mercy, Allahumma Ameen.

You can ask questions in the comments or in asks if you want.

[alsmediadissection]

˗ˏˋ elphaba and glinda's relationship for beginners ´ˎ˗

Gelphie truthers, this is for you.

!! i want to preface this by saying i'm not a professional critic, and this is not a 100% guide to anything either. do not take anything i type online to absolute heart, this is simply my personal interpretation of this piece of media !! (i also want to mention that i did not read the Wicked novel/series by Gregory Maguire)

! CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ACT 2 IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE WHOLE MUSICAL !

Glinda and Elphaba’s relationship in Wicked is one of the most compelling dynamics in the story, offering rich ground for analysis. Their bond evolves from animosity to deep friendship and ultimately to mutual respect, reflecting themes of personal growth, the complexity of human connection, and the challenge of societal expectations.

To begin, their obvious trope is 'Opposites Attract" hence the juxtaposition of personalities. Glinda and Elphaba initially represent polar opposites: Glinda embodies privilege, popularity, and superficiality, while Elphaba is intelligent, principled, and ostracized. Their early antagonism underscores societal divides between the advantaged and the marginalized. Over time, their contrasting traits serve as a catalyst for mutual growth. Glinda learns to look beyond surface-level appearances and question her privilege, while Elphaba becomes more open to trust and connection.

Their relationship with one another is a good reflection of societal tensions as well. Their dynamic reflects broader societal struggles, including prejudice, privilege, and the challenges of overcoming systemic divides. Glinda’s initial condescension toward Elphaba mirrors societal attitudes that uphold hierarchies based on appearance or status. Elphaba’s willingness to challenge Glinda’s shallow worldview forces Glinda to confront her biases, showing how cross-group friendships can challenge prejudices.

Glinda and Elphaba's relationship is extremely important in media as well because it demonstrates the power of female solidarity. Despite their differences, Glinda and Elphaba ultimately unite, forming a bond that transcends societal expectations. Their friendship demonstrates the transformative power of female solidarity, especially in the face of oppressive systems. Their relationship subverts the trope of women being in competition, particularly over male attention. While Fiyero is a point of tension, their bond grows stronger, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing mutual support over rivalry.

Even though they are seemingly on opposite sides of society, they nonetheless have shared struggles and empathy towards eachother. While their experiences differ, both Glinda and Elphaba grapple with societal expectations. Glinda struggles with the pressure to conform and maintain her image, while Elphaba battles overt discrimination and rejection. Their ability to empathize with each other’s struggles is a key factor in their relationship. Glinda’s eventual support for Elphaba reflects her growing understanding of what it means to stand against injustice (Glinda wouldn't be the person she is without Elphie!!).

A beautiful thing i find in their relationship is their relationship is shaped by sacrifice, adding tragic elements. The tragedy of their friendship lies in its ultimate separation. While they love and respect one another deeply, their differing paths—Elphaba’s defiance of authority and Glinda’s choice to reform from within—force them apart. Their parting scene, marked by the song “For Good,” is a poignant acknowledgment of the profound impact they’ve had on each other’s lives. It underscores that, despite their separation, their bond remains a defining and transformative force for both.

Glinda is not only Elphaba's friend, but she is also an ally and foil. Glinda’s evolution into an ally is a critical aspect of their relationship. Her eventual support for Elphaba reflects her willingness to use her privilege for good, even as she struggles with her own complicity in the system. As a foil to Elphaba, Glinda’s character highlights Elphaba’s strengths and convictions. Where Glinda hesitates or conforms, Elphaba boldly acts, challenging societal norms. Conversely, Glinda’s charm and diplomacy show a softer, more strategic approach to effecting change, contrasting with Elphaba’s fiery defiance. THEY BALANCE EACHOTHER.

Their relationship is marked by forgiveness and redemption. Glinda’s initial superficiality and complicity in Elphaba’s ostracization are eventually overshadowed by her genuine remorse and efforts to honour Elphaba’s legacy. Elphaba’s willingness to forgive Glinda illustrates her capacity for understanding and her recognition of Glinda’s growth.

And as you all know, their relationship is filled with lot of queer subtext. Many fans interpret their relationship through a queer lens, seeing their bond as emblematic of deep, romantic love. Their intense connection, mutual admiration, and ultimate separation echo many queer narratives of love that cannot fully thrive due to societal pressures. Whether viewed as romantic or platonic, their relationship defies traditional definitions, suggesting that love and connection can take many forms. (this makes me want to write a Glinda sexuality media dissection)

Their relationship also emphasizes the importance of maintaining individuality within a deep bond, individuality within connection. Both characters inspire each other’s growth but remain true to their core values. Glinda chooses to stay in Oz and work for change from within, while Elphaba pursues her revolutionary path. This dynamic highlights the idea that meaningful relationships do not require total agreement but rather mutual respect and understanding.

Glinda and Elphaba’s relationship in Wicked is a masterful exploration of human connection across divides. Their journey from adversaries to allies illustrates the transformative power of empathy, the challenges of societal pressures, and the importance of standing together against oppression. Their bond, though ultimately bittersweet, serves as a testament to the profound ways people can shape and change one another “for good.”

So long story short....lesbians rule.

[allastoredeer]

Personally I think Alastor, Lucifer AND Angel are on the pretty boy side of the scale and none of that has to do with their preferences in bed. More like in... How to say it... Body type and behavior? All three are obviously men but don't quite adhere to the masculine/feminine dichotomy.

With Alastor it seems to me that he is closer to "masculine" but not in an alpha range, but in that he sees himself as a "gentleman" and at least a part of him consciously or unconsciously knows that the male representation has more privilege, but he doesn't particularly care as much

AAngel just does his thing, and I think Angel has benefited from and used looking more "delicate" or "feminine" more than once to his advantage in getting underestimated. I think that gender in general is quite fluid for Angel, but not so much because he has thought about it but because living and dead, roles have been imposed on him that he has taken as a mask for himself.I imagine he is very comfortable with himself now but the impression I got is that Angel oscillates between hating and loving his own traits due to how little control he has and how he is perceived.

(I'm thinking specifically about how he talks about his body and how attractive it is but sees himself as only important because of those kinds of things. After E4 it's obviously in a much better place. What I'm saying is that with Angel it's complicated because it's part his own feelings and part coping mechanis)

Lucifer actually exudes an aura of seduction, it's just those bedroom eyes and his whole vibe when he decides he's going to crush this guy he met 5 minutes ago. But I think the show did well to represent a beauty that tends more towards androgynous with him. And as we've already talked about, Lucifer gives off very versatile vibes, I think he would be the middle ground.

I definitely agree that all three of them are on the pretty boy side. Pretty, pretty, pretty boys

(I couldn't find a better gif of Angel forgive me)

Though, I do see Alastor more on the feminine side than the masculine side. He is a gentleman, but sometimes I think people lean too far into him being a gentleman.

Like, not to bring Websters Dictionary into this (Cambridge Dictionary technically) but the definitions of gentleman are:

A polite way of talking to or referring to a man. Obvious one, but not the definition people use.

A man of a high social class. Which, yeah, considering Alastor is an Overlord in Hell, technically he is part of a high social class. But that's not typically the type of gentleman he is depicted as either.

A man who is polite and behaves well towards other people, especially women: This is the one I think people lean on, which I find funny because Alastor is polite and he can behave well, but typically that is only aimed at women. Not people in general. I see him being a gentleman with women, but even then, not all the time - does that make sense?

Like, there are times he still acts like a mean little bastard, even to women (albeit less often) like when Charlie was having a break down in her bedroom cuz she found out her girlfriend has been lying to her for years and she'd essentially doomed everybody she cared about. Alastor had no sympathy for her, he didn't actually care about the situation, he went up there with the sole intent to get something from her. He was blunt, rubbed her situation in her face, and then gaslit, gatekeeped, and girlbossed his way into getting a deal out of her.

Yes, his words were crafted in a way that can seem gentlemanly, but that doesn't mean he was being a gentleman. He wasn't being polite, he was being a sassy, condescending little shit.

And I'm not saying Alastor isn't a gentleman, he definitely acts like a one when he wants to be, especially around those he likes or respects (like Rosie, Niffty, and Zestial - and yes, even Charlie and Vaggie). But like...most of the time? He's just a smooth-talking bitch with fancy words (affectionate).

Don't get me wrong, I definitely see Alastor as being a gentleman, but I don't see him being as much of a gentleman as people make him out to be, which actually might be the reason why he so often loses his clownish, trolling nature in fanon, because that gentlemanly characteristic he's been given implies some level of general politeness and good behavior, which cancels out when he's trolling and/or insulting people. He can be more passive-aggressively and subtle about it, like he did with Lucifer, but I still wouldn't call that being a gentleman.

I agree with Angel though! I think, while Angel has benefitted looking more feminine, he also enjoys presenting as feminine. I can see him being very fluid in it.

"the impression I got is that Angel oscillates between hating and loving his own traits due to how little control he has and how he is perceived."

THIS! ⬆️ Definitely agree with this. 100%. Perfectly said.

As for Lucifer, I do see the seduction side of him, even if I think it's overblown at times. He has amazing bedroom eyes. I agree that there is an androgynous beauty to him, but at the same time, idk a lot of the time, he still came off as very masculine to me. Could've been the way he carried himself. Could've been his voice. Could've been the way he spoke. Don't know for sure.

I think Lucifer can fluctuate before feminine and androgynous, but overall, he felt masculine most of the time.

[enneamage]

i remember your really great essay on the fandom's tendency to hope ccs are queer due to, in part, the uneasy relationship between male streamers and women. now seeing wilbur's exploration into famously queer media (i have never met a dude into tyler the creator who was not bi unless he himself believed tyler wasn't queer), i was wondering, do you think male ccs in the community are aware that being bi makes them appear more safe towards women? i don't doubt anyone's sexuality btw

For starters, I think that Wilbur is throwing a bunch of spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks in terms of a new public persona. What you’re looking at is still an indie softboy variant, just spiced a bit differently. Art Guy and Bisexual can be related but as I said in the other post, sticking morality, sexuality and aesthetics together as a package deal is a quick way to be misled. The thing I want to linger on is the evolution of the idea of a softboy, which was actually a fandom-esque tumblr term that was a term of endearment to fictional / irl boys before it became an ironic nickname to call out a particular kind of wolf in sheep's clothing. I think that concept cycle happens a lot. 

In the straight sense, men do have a motivation to try to get women to like them. While some people are remarkably bad at this or have no clue how to achieve it, others are a bit better at following the trail of an appealing persona and trying to fit themselves into it. Some of it is a genuine self-image desire as well, you want to think of yourself as an appealing person even without an audience, so you take the temperature of the culture and try to follow the path that seems to work best for your desires and interests.

Softboy / golden retriever boyfriend / himbo and the like tends to come from the imagination of women online when collectively brainstorming what kind of person would be seen as a breath of fresh air in the current Dude Climate. The issue with it being translated IRL is that once it becomes clear that people really do find these tropes attractive, people want to lean into the strategy a bit either as an exaggeration of their own personalities or an active choice to Not Be Like Other Guys, inviting inevitable disappointment when they have the ups and downs of a real person with traits, or are revealed to be straight up frauds. 

In terms of leaning into persona or aesthetics aside from sexuality, I want to bump this post by someone on the mcyt snark reddit that takes a tour through personas that consistently appear and reappear in post-2020 MCYT circles. I think the people love a persona (or imago perhaps) and a package deal of traits, we tend to hand them out for free when we’re forming our impressions of people even if they don’t mean to create one. 

Wilbur in particular has a lot of reasons to try and dress himself up as ‘safe’ for the time being, but you asked about the bi swatch of MCYT and I think the answer to the safety part is unconsciously, yes. I think that having an aspect of their experience being removed from mainstream straight culture really does put them in a different headspace than straight peers, but whether that headspace is actually kinder and safer in practice isn’t guaranteed in the way that I think both parties might hope. They probably notice that people treat them better or differently when they lean into the mlm part of their identity, leading them to do it more over time.

Again, especially with CCS, I think a lot of people hope that the bisexuality will lead to a long term partnership with a man or that their attraction to women would be softened into something less hormonally or culturally straight. People actively leaning into post-2020 queer culture aesthetics (because we’re not talking leather bars here) may also seem more safe or appealing by breaking down the dyadic “let me define myself by being completely opposed to you” aspects of really rigid gender performance relationships. Ironically this may also make them seem more appealing as partners in the platonic and romantic sense because it feels less like you’re dealing with a rigid diametric opposite. You feel closer to them by being under the LGBTQ+ umbrella with them, which also adds some motivation to parasocial attachment. 

[ttrpg-smash-pass-vs]

I don't know exactly how to word it but as a kinky mother fucker and as someone who is a concept artist/character designer... these polls seem to highlight fatphobia in an interesting way.. both in the way that the "undesirable" monsters (ie the ones that are made to be "gross" like decomposing or the like) often have fat/bellies on them. but the ones that are more classically "desirable" are depicted either skinny or muscular. And typically the votes reflect this. the even more interesting moments are when the votes don't reflect that and the fatter monsters are proven to be desirable despite the seeming intent to be undesirable or grotesque. much to think about...

With the way the decomposing ones are proportioned it's meant to evoke a bloating corpse, with those in particular (like the venom troll) I think it might be uncanny valley. Now it's definitely true that fatter creatures generally do worse, just look at ones like hill giant. But I'd argue the vast majority of the apparent fatphobia around here is on WotC. and the rest has been blocked from the blog.

Firstly because many people enjoy larger entries, just as many enjoy smaller ones. The ones that do poorly are typically also partnered with 1000 other traits people might find undesirable. I'd point the fatphobia at WotC constantly depicting it alongside cruelty, greed, stupidity, stench, etc. People's biases, at least from the notes, seem to be largely with the other traits WotC likes to pair with size more than the size itself. As for the rest, I'd still hesitate to point fatphobia at the general viewer. Maybe a bit of unconscious cultural bias, but we're dealing in private preferences here. A preference toward the large, tall, short, brunette, hair style, type of socks, personality, etc, that's not the issue imo. Fatphobia's in how you treat people, in your biases and assumptions, not your internal sexual preferences. I think the views actually reflect that nicely, as the NICE large monsters ones have still gotten into the 70's. Which is HUGE, that's where medusa, mindflayers, and lot of classic monsterfucking creatures have ended up. Once we passed like 1000 people, very few humanoids could breech 80's, so grading on a curve there are larger ones effectively getting a B or low A. At that point the rest is usually explained by "being too monstrous/the viewer prefers women and the example given is male." And I'm saying this as someone who is obese, I have been mistaken for being quite pregnant. Gained a lot after my accident reduced my mobility 2 years ago, and the binge eating from the following depression. working it down though, I've been hovering around 220 (100 kg) for a bit recently but I'm slowly dropping again. Which is still pretty heavy at my height, though my vitals are all very good so I don't really care much. Now there are some people who just are fatphobic, and I felt no remorse about blocking the few people who were being dicks about it. But it's usually just in the other horrible traits WotC gave them or just not being into that. I'm not getting onto people for not preferring my body shape, just for insulting it or mistreating others over it. I think monsterfuckers are better about this than the general populace.

...and yes I took 2 months to respond to this. but have finally decided to chuck it out but make it unrebloggable. because I don't want this to breech into tumblr at large and attract too much attention from the average tumblite.

[cto10121]

Romeo and Juliet’s Instalove Makes Sense, Actually: A Very Hot Take

So a big chunk of R&J clownery I constantly eat on this blog is the neverending bitching about R&J falling in love at first sight is unrealistic and based on lust because they don’t even know each other and how William Shakespeare totes meant it as satire and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, love at first sight/instalove was a very popular trope in Shakespeare’s time, and Shakespeare himself used it constantly in his other plays. Occam’s Razor: He liked it. Also, er, it is very much a real-life phenomenon. If perhaps overrepresented in fiction.

But anti whinging aside, it does beg the question: What did attract R&J to each other in the first place? I’ve talked at length about their similarities and their compatibility personally, verbally, and socially, but the bulk of the evidence is largely after they have met. So it makes sense why R&J would stick together and even prefer shuffling off their mortal coil than not be together. But at first sight? Without knowing a thing about each other besides their appearances?

R&J obviously do value physical beauty, but that in and of itself doesn’t explain why they would be attracted to each other. Shakespeare makes it a point to tell us that Capulet invited all the hot women in Verona, including Romeo’s crush, Rosaline. Why didn’t Romeo fall for any of them, or simply pine for Rosaline from afar? Juliet was dancing with a knight when Romeo saw her, and there were at least boys her age and not related to her, including Mercutio and Benvolio. Why didn’t she prefer any of them? And then there is the underrated fact that they met during a masquerade ball at night.

My very hot take? Shakespeare kept the instalove of his source material because his R&J would, in fact, fall 100% in love with each other for reasons other than hotness, and it is plausible that they would do so. And I’ll prove it: through Y/N dynamics.

Romeo’s POV

You’re the son and heir of a lord, living in 15th century Italy. Good news—you got male privilege! You have been given a fine education (for the time) in Latin, Greek, rhetoric, and so forth. You know how to read and write and duel people with pointy sticks. You have been raised to lead, and thus people are predisposed to take you seriously. You can do whatever the fuck you want with whoever the fuck you want, within reason. So long as you conform to this role and not show any unruly womanish traits, you’re good to go.

That said, you live in a macho society that is 100% okay with killing other people with sharp pointy sticks because they said something rude to you. Not only that, but your family has revived a blood feud with another family who hate your guts. Hence, your chance of dying a bloody death is astronomically high. Despite this, you turn out to be a pretty cool and even-tempered guy—you don’t cause trouble in the slightest. Your dad’s enemy even acknowledges your sterling reputation as a “portly gentlemen” and a “well-governed youth.”

In fact, you’re so chill that your biggest problem is that this hot girl you like doesn’t like you back. Even worse, she refuses to have sex, period. Which means she won’t have sex with you. You are a teenage boy, and this is indeed the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Fuck your life.

That said…you are not really doing much to get Hot Chick Who Won’t Have Sex With You to change her mind about you sex, are you? All you’ve been doing so far is 1) sneaking off to weep beneath sycamore trees in the early morning and 2) bitching to the Friar about HCWWHS, and 3) bitching to your cousin about how HCWWHS won’t spread her thighs to receive your that sweet golden cum (yes, that is verbatim). And when you find out that HCWWHS is going to this party at your enemy’s house, you don’t exactly jump at the chance to see her, do you? Your cousin literally has to convince you to go. Your response? “Fine, but I won’t Like(tm) it.”

Sure enough, you don’t. In fact, halfway through, you tell your friends you want to turn around and go back home. Nah, you say. It’s not worth it. You had a dream/premonition and now the party has bad vibes. (HCWWHS who? Ngl, you kind of just forget about her). Your cool friend mocks you for taking a ~dream seriously, ffs, but honestly you don’t pay much attention to him. You decide to go anyway, not because of HCWWHS or your cool friend, but because you march to the beat of your own drum. Que será será.

So what do you really want out of romance? Clearly, you are interested in HCWWHS’s thighs, but not much else about her. Why are you so emo about her, then? Certainly, she’s smart and hot, per you. Possibly older. Perhaps you feel that being with a hot older chick who can smell horny teenage guy BS a mile away is exactly what you want, actually. Or what you think you want.

Because here’s the deal: You’re obviously an odd duck in this hateful medieval town. You’re too chill for this feud life, too smart to get into needless fights, too young to work (don’t have to), and too old for school (you had private tutors, but that was ages ago). You’re too young to shoulder the responsibilities of an heir, but too old to be kept at home. So what tf do you do? See a play???? Do archery???? Falconry???? Hang out with friends????

As you can see, it’s a little lonely. Your parents are the type to let you do whatever the fuck you want because you’re a ~man now, and you need your ~space. No rules or structure. And despite what pop culture adaptations of your story have told millions, you are actually a smart and fairly mature guy for your age. You love your independence, of course, you won’t ever complain about that. But independence alone does not equate to true freedom.

What you need (but you don’t know you do) is a girl who would, actually, ask things from you. Demand them, even. Someone who is not shy about telling you what she thinks and what she wants. Someone who is open to the idea of love and not be obsessed with either chaste perfection or violence. Someone whom you can relate the struggles of living this isolated, feud-stricken life to. Someone who is mature but closer to your own age. Someone who is about as ambivalent as you are about the status quo.

And then you see this beautiful, mature, sad-looking girl dancing with this random knight. Oh, you think. Oh, indeed.

Juliet’s POV

You are a young teenage girl living in 15th century Italy. Bad news—you’re fucked. So much so it’s honestly too depressing to relate here in its entirety. You yourself know it, very deep down. Some light in this darkness? You are the only daughter to a very rich and noble family. Does that make you better? It should, a little.

For one thing, you are protected from your very violent macho culture’s obsession with killing people with pointy sticks. You are a girl, and you don’t do that. Your only jobs are to learn to read, sew, and marry rich. Your parents are not what you’d call the progressive types. Your relationship with your mother is very formal and awkward; needless to say, she is not the warm, motherly type. That would be your Nurse, who was actually the one to raise you. Your father is fine until you contradict him even slightly. Then he turns red and shouty and blustery, and suddenly you are a saucy girl and his fingers start to itch.

Fortunately for you, you’re a good girl. Not only that, but you are a smart one. From a very early age, you have learned how to survive in this very dysfunctional family. You learn how to say the right things in the right way. You equivocate better than any lawyer. Through trial and error, you become an excellent liar. (Either that or your family is just too dumb to believe you could ever lie to them). But even this sucks, because plot twist: You dislike lying. So much so that most of your “lies” are really just truths cleverly edited into the PR speak your family will accept.

At the same time, though, your Nurse indulges you and has no filter. So you learn a lot from her, especially about sex and men. Perhaps you even listen in on your cousins’ gossip. Also, you’re a 13-year-old with a growing libido. Not that you think you will ever get laid, lol. Your cousins will literally kill any man who tried. Your cousin Tybalt in particular loves a chance to fight. It’s not just your virtue that you need to protect, it’s the poor guy too.

But you are still 13, so when your mother and Nurse start talking about this Count Paris who wants to marry you, your instinct is to shut down entirely. You keep your mouth shut and tell them what they want to hear to appease them. It works—now you can go back to your teen girl life in relative peace.

Except no. You actually do have to meet and most likely dance with Count Paris at your family’s party. Do you want to go? Not particularly, but you are the Heir of Capulet(tm), so refusing is not an option. Do you like dancing? Maybe, but it’s hard to let loose and shake that thang with your family and cousins around. Are you interested in marriage? Nah. Your parents are proof número uno that it is not something to look forward to. Nothing against marriage, but you feel it’s something for the very distant future.

So there you are, inwardly seething inside, perhaps having to dance with Count Paris and other men way older than you, surrounded by your family. At this point, you’re exhausted and want the night to be over already. All you what to do is sulk against the wall next to some torches, looking bored/pissed/depressed. And not dance.

And then you see a beautiful boy leaning against the wall next to some torches, looking bored/pissed/depressed. And not dancing. Oh, you think. Oh, indeed.

In Sum

So yeah. Dramatic necessity aside, R&J being instantly attracted to each other makes sense, actually. They’re both introverted/in a blah mood/reluctant to attend this party, both have ambivalent feelings towards their supposed love interests (Rosaline, Paris), and both just don’t seem to fit into Verona’s feud life as neatly as outward appearances would suggest.

They see what they actually need in each other, which is balance: Juliet has too little freedom and Romeo too much. And considering how much we find out they are alike personally, there is even a sense of recognition in their first meeting. Beyond the “bewitchèd by the charm of looks,” R&J had reasons for them falling in love.

[pruneunfair]

Why I think Claudine would be loved if she was a female lead. (More in-depth discussion)

Claudine was a very interesting character. Up until she got the usual villainess treatment of being flanderized as a jealous fiancé who wanted Layla dead, she didn't feel like a traditional villainess in the usual sense we think of.

Before the utter destruction of her character. Claudine at most would just pick on and even humiliate Layla on occasion but not through cartoony stunts like pouring wine all over her. More like inviting her to a ball knowing she can't really afford any nice dresses. Basic passive aggressive mean girl.

She was very classy about it too and outside of making fun of Layla, she had her own life with her family, friends, Matthias and of course her very own 2nd ML Riette.

Claudine is a perfect isekai-esque villainess to transmigrate to for those reasons: a jealous fiancé perceived to only love the man for his status and treats the poor FL poorly.

But a lot of COBYB fans hate her as most manhwa fandoms would hate the resident villainess even though she embodies all the traits that were beloved, why?

Well for the first and obvious answer: perspective. We only really see the perspective of Layla and Matthias. Layla is a humble orphan girl working alongside her uncle to stay afloat, she has Kyle as a close friend and possible love interest and it was said she was going to be a teacher when she graduated. Lot of people can relate to that over a wealthy woman who was born with all these benefits she didn't have to work for. And Matthias is well..Matthias but he's the male lead and most importantly, attractive. So in the eyes of the fandom, that means he has more leeway to do what he wants considering he also has an actual past thats fleshed out.

It's also because of the weird phenomenon that is young readers finding every reason to despise a female villian while trying to excuse the male villain because he's hot or because he had a very tragic backstory. It's a problem with a lot of fan bases out there, Helluva boss, Miraculous ladybug, Trolls 3, lore olympus etc. Obviously the problem isn't that the villainesses in these pieces of media aren't being 100% absolved of consequences. The problem is how they seem to be the ONLY ONES suffering fandom consequences even though there are plenty of male villains who are just as bad or worse.

Heres the thing, while a humble farm girl is definitely easier to relate to and care about. A majority of the manhwa that we have are all centered around really rich women, and what makes these women usually stand out when they have privilege and status is their personality to get shit done and are also very intelligent. These stories are often popular since a woman who only wants to get that bag and live a lavish life isn't frowned upon as it was. Claudine fits this description nicely given that she was really only interested in being the Duchess .

Another trope isekai villainess manhwas usually have is another male lead for the new protagonist to pair up with. Usually they are a second ml, someone equally/more powerful then the og husband, or in rare cases they're just the og male lead. Claudine has Riette for that who would be a great contrast for Matthias. Matthias likes watching Layla cry, he often emotionally and even sexually abuses her and doesn't seem to care how much damage he's inflicting on her or Claudine by cheating on her. Riette on the other hand genuinely loved Claudine and she unfortunately did not reciprocate until he was KIA. So if per say this was an isekai comic where Claudine was the FL then I could see one change being that she tried to ensure Riette survives. Plus Riette would basically fill the common OI male lead role of showing off how much of an improvement he is compared to the first guy.

What else? While a little more rare, some female leads in isekai/regression will relentlessly attack the og fl or anyone with og fl traits for a really misguided/contrived reason. It's unfortunately a possibility that a character like Layla would be villianized in order to quickly hash up a new white lotus but if we go on a less character assasination route and take examples out of revenge on the real one then Claudine making fun of Layla could be something you'd be expected to root for since Layla is the "mistress" (quotations considering she didn't even want to be a mistress)

Finally, it's the in general sassy villainess attitude that would win people over if she was the glorious lead. I mean look at Reilynn from today the villainess has fun again, a literal implied pedo with an awful personality and there's a lot of people who love her and her "money makes the word go round" attitude. A less negative example is Roxana Agriche, a true villainess who has killed people and has one of the most terrifying butterfly abilities I ever saw but she's still well loved for being absolutely iconic. Hell sometimes you don't even have to be the FL, Soleia Elard from seducing the villains father was more popular then the FL Yerenica to the point where most posts about that manhwa were centered around her.

would a story where Claudine is the protagonist be a good story? Depends if it's handled well, but I still believe it would have a loyal fanbase.

[fsfghgee]

I agree, Bi-Han was very close to his mother. In fact, I believe he probably took most of her personality and appearance (thin eyebrows and sharp cheekbones). A dialogue line between Smoke and Li-Mei states that his mother was “nonsense and tough as nails”. Some people think he speaking about his bio mom but I truly believe he was speaking about his adoptive mother because whenever he takes about his bio mom there is always a somber tone.

Now I’m only making assumptions here, but I’m she was the only woman to understand him until he got with Sektor.

Yes. You're right. Sektor is the only person who truly understands Bi-Han and has supported him since his mother died. And as strange as some people may find it, men like Bi-Han — men who are truly attached and close to their mothers — are often (when not exclusively) attracted to women who are similar to their mothers. And this isn't just a male fetish thing, nor is it a conscious choice. Bi-Han certainly doesn't see Sektor as his mother. But she definitely has personality traits that he feels familiar enough to be attracted to, behavioral traits that he grew up admiring, physical traits that he feels comfortable with. Her affection for him takes him to a safe place, a place he hasn't had access to since his mother's death, he feels safe enough in her presence to expose his vulnerabilities:

I can't even imagine how comforting it must have been for him to hear Sektor's voice and see her face after spending hours being tortured to death by titan Havik. And worse, being forced to obey him, knowing how much he hates obeying and being controlled.

I saw a lot of people (intentionally or not) reading this scene the wrong way. Trying to paint this scene as a sample of a toxic relationship, where Bi-Han doesn't care about her or that Sektor has no dignity for accepting this. And I was like, "WTF". The only thing he did was abruptly break free from her strong grip to punch Liu Kang. The important point of this scene has been completely ignored…

The authority and lack of fear she shows when holding him tightly and telling him not to fight was just another way they found to show us that Sektor is Bi-Han's significant other. A simple follower, just another subordinate of the ruthless Grandmaster, would not have the courage to do this. And even though she is very important to him and he loves her, he is not the type of man who obeys without a good reason. He is not a man with an easy temperament to control and truly hates being controlled. It's even unfair to compare the situation between Sektor and Bi-Han with that of Harumi and Kuai Liang as some people have been doing…

First, Kuai Liang didn't have the adrenaline of a bloodlust running through his veins like he would have had if he had gone after Cyrax to kill her, Cyrax was the one who offered her neck to Kuai's wrath.

Second, Kuai Liang, not even at that moment, had half the hatred for Cyrax that Bi-Han has for Liu Kang and Havik. It's literally confirmed by him and her, in story mode and intros, that they have a past.

Third, Harumi actually gave Kuai Liang convincing reasons to spare Cyrax. Sektor didn't give Bi-Han any, and even if she had, I doubt it would have changed his mind. After all, Bi-Han's goal was to give Liu Kang a quick pummeling to kill the man/titan/god who tortured him to death.

Even though the expansion's story isn't a masterpiece of literature, the part about making Sektor and Bi-Han's relationship romantic without diminishing the threat that Bi-Han actually poses as an antagonist in the game was successfully achieved.

Sektor is Bi-Han's only weakness (just as he is hers)...

Shang Tsung: Bi-Han will pay a steep ransom for your return. Sektor: Just how are *you* planning to abduct *me*?

Shang Tsung: This hostility is unwarranted, Bi-Han. Noob Saibot: You tried to abduct Sektor!

Noob Saibot: You wish to bargain? After what you've done?! Shang Tsung: Do you wish to rule or not, Bi-Han.

Noob Saibot: It is time you answer for Sektor. Shang Tsung: For what, exactly? She escaped me unharmed.

Noob Saibot: You tried enlisting Sektor against me?! Quan Chi: Not against you. To help you see reason.

Noob Saibot: Leave. Before this gets ugly. Quan Chi: I am here to haggle but if we must fight, so be it.

Noob Saibot: If Liu Kang seeks to punish Sektor -- Geras: It would be his right to do so.

Kenshi: So you and Sektor, eh? Hm. That tracks. Noob Saibot: If that is mockery, you are a dead man.

Liu Kang: Sektor should have trusted me to heal you. Noob Saibot: You should not have made her wait.

Liu Kang: You should have trusted me, Sektor. Sektor: Why?! You left Bi-Han to rot.

Sindel: Your 'beloved' should never have crossed me. Sektor: He doesn't fear you. And neither do I.

Kitana: I have to question your taste in men. Sektor: Please, Princess. Share your thoughts.

Geras: If you love Bi-Han, return him to Liu Kang. Sektor: It's because I do that I cannot.

Kenshi: You and Bi-Han deserve each other. Sektor: I couldn't agree more.

But she is also his greatest strength.

Rain: What will Bi-Han do without his Master Armorer? Sektor: He'll never find out, will he?

General Shao: Sub-Zero sends his woman after me? Sektor: He sends his most skilled warrior.

Sub-Zero: Together we will make the Lin Kuei immortal. Sektor: I am honored to fight by your side.

Sektor: We will stop Kuai Liang. Sub-Zero: And finish his Shirai Ryu.

Sektor: I couldn't leave you locked away in the Temple. Noob Saibot: You were right to be impatient.

Sektor: Is it best for you to remain this way? Noob Saibot: It is best for the Lin Kuei.

Sektor: If Liu Kang continues to stand -- Noob Saibot: We will neutralize him.

Cyrax: With Sektor as the Lin Kuei's grandmaster -- Smoke: I know. They could be even *more* dangerous.

Li Mei: You may be more dangerous than Bi-Han. Sektor: Ha! May be?

Sektor: I won't let you near Bi-Han. Ermac: You are one. One cannot stop Us.

Sektor: Keep your souls away from my clan. Ermac: The Lin Kuei must answer for Sindel.

Mileena: I can’t trust Lin Kuei. You were complicit in -- Sektor: Bi-Han knew nothing of Titan Shang Tsung.

Sektor: Bi-Han risked everything to free you. General Shao: Not every gamble pays, Sektor.

Geras: Your experiments with automation must end. Sektor: Interesting. I must be on to something.

Sub-Zero: The armor isn't enough. Sektor: Patience, Bi-Han. There is more to come.

Noob Saibot: How long before the prototype is ready? Sektor: It will be done when it is done.

Tanya: You've created more mechanized monstrosities? Sektor: Many. And I can't wait to unleash them.

Sektor: Once all Lin Kuei are equipped like me -- Scorpion: It will be a dark day for Earthrealm.

General Shao: Are you still Lin Kuei? Noob Saibot: I will *always* be Lin Kuei.

General Shao: Your army's battle armor masks its incompetence. Noob Saibot: If you think so, take the field against us.

General Shao: I need Sektor's services. Noob Saibot: You should have thought of that before freezing me out.

Reiko: Do you share Bi-Han's power? Or just his bed? Sektor: Careful, Reiko. Disrespect can be fatal.

Reiko: You should be a weapon in the General's arsenal. Sektor: The Lin Kuei won't partner wih him again.

Reiko: What will it take for you to equip our army? Sektor: There isn't enough gold in the realms.

Ashrah: The Lin Kuei's course can still be changed. Sektor: We are far beyond the point of no return.

Ashrah: Your ardor for Bi-Han is -- Sektor: I don't need a demon's advice.

Scorpion: You have influenced my brother -- Sektor: He is his own man, Kuai Liang.

And I honestly find it strange that there are those who think that Li Mei would remind Tomas of his biological mother when he calls Bi-Han's mother his mother too:

Smoke: If Mother were alive -- Sub-Zero: She would applaud my actions.

This intro…

Li Mei: I remind you of your mother? Smoke: No-nonsense and tough as nails, just like her.

describes a fighter, not a hunter. Which Li Mei is, just like Bi-Han's mother was:

Sindel: Both your parents were excellent fighters. Scorpion: I can only hope to live up to their example.

*Plus, Li Mei and Bi-Han's mother (in mk1) are Chinese (inspired appearance), I doubt that Smoke's biological mother was not Czech like him.

Smoke remembering his adoptive mother as a serious, firm,  straightforward, strong, extremely tough and determined woman. No-nonsense and tough as nails, like a warrior is supposed to be, makes sense to describe Bi-Han's mother in a few words. And Bi-Han being right about his mother…

Smoke: If Mother were alive -- Sub-Zero: She would applaud my actions.

This dialogue between Li Mei and Sektor kinda proves that Sek would have had her mother-in-law's blessing if she were still alive:

Li Mei: In another life, we might have been friends. Sektor: That is pointless speculation, Li Mei.

Liu Kang, his father and brother may disapprove of Sektor now, but his mother would love her (almost) as much as he does and that's all that matters to him.

[khattikeri]

honestly my case for aro/ace Jiang Cheng stems heavily from his list of traits he'd want in a future wife.

like putting aside the fact that his "pickiness" got him canonically blacklisted from a majority of their world's matchmakers, we have this:

naturally beautiful

graceful and obedient

hard-working and thrifty

coming from a respected family

cultivation level not too high

These are all just Standard Things That Ancient Chinese Society Says It's Good For Women To Be.

A woman who is too strong will surpass her husband which is a huge no-no in their society. Too weak and she's a disappointment (read: Jiang Yanli). Marrying within or above your own social class is just expected common sense, especially if you're born upper class.

Then you have these next three points:

personality not too strong

not too talkative

voice not too loud

Of course these are also generic Standard Things That Ancient Chinese Society Says It's Good For Women To Be, but they also stood out to me more than the previous points because all of them remind me of Yu Ziyuan.

Jiang Cheng is very similar to her, and of course even without that he still cares about her. But she was very difficult to please and nurtured his inferiority complex for years. Growing up with her volatility hurt everyone in that house.

AND THEN TACKED ON AT THE VERY END OF THE LIST:

must treat Jin Ling nicely.

So almost all of these bullet points are generic, intangible societal ideals. Rather than being actual preferences for a marriage or to fall in love with, his list reads to me more like this:

Things Everyone Says It's Good For A Wife To Be IDFK

Actually Now That I Think About It Don't Be Like My Mom.

BE NICE TO MY NEPHEW.

Even the 'must treat Jin Ling nicely' can be tied back to Yu Ziyuan if you choose to view it a certain way. A new wife might dislike Jin Ling since he was already there prior to her marriage to Jiang Cheng, even if he's a blood relative rather than a good friend's orphaned child.

An official wife could easily get angry or misguidedly jealous. She could distance or mistreat Jin Ling, an elder male child born to people who are now dead. Who does that remind you of...?

Really all this list proves is Jiang Cheng really, really cares about his nephew + Wei Wuxian and wants the child to be raised with sincere kindness and love. Everything else is just like a dart thrown at a dartboard blind. Sure, write that down. People say it's good for women to be like X and say Y and do Z, right? Sure. Okay.

TL;DR - It's easy to view Jiang Cheng as actually being that arrogant and holding people to every single standard in his list, but IMO he just can't think of traits he actually finds attractive in a person beyond Be Ideal, I Guess. Which is painfully relatable and a primary reason why I see him as aro/ace.

[theworldofkree]

What are qualities that harpies find desirable in mates?

And could these qualities maybe also apply to humans. (If the harpy in question has a fancy)

With harpies (for the most part), it's all about what the ladies prefer. They set the standard of beauty for males. The typical standards for males are: Being bright/colorful/have richly patterned feathers, being taller than 6ft but shorter than 6ft10, being able to dance/sing well, having good nest building skills + other good home making skills like foraging, and patience. Some males have to wait a long time for the female theyre courting to decide if she will accept him. This is an important step because it will get rid of those males who aren't as invested as they should be.

Some lesser perks that may attract a lady (or a male partner) are athetics/speed, sexual prowess, and ability to find and gift pretty things. Kree is typically better at these skills than the more sought after ones listed before, which is why he's failed to woo a harpy mate.

The traits males desire in females is very different. Color/aesthetic appearance essentially doesn't matter to them. What matters is size, strength, and personality. A large, virile harpy female is a good bet for laying healthy eggs and being good at protecting/hunting for the family. Harpy men like their women a little scary and intimidating, but also with the ability to soften their demeanor for their mate. Being one of the few to see that side of a female makes males feel very special. Males that prefer a consistently kind-hearted mate usually end up with another male, since the ladies are usually pretty serious, lol.

Of course these are the stereotypes. Every harpy has their own personal opinions/tastes. Kree for instance loves that Clara is kind to him from the start. Its kind of addictive to him the first few times they meet since it feels to Kree like they're closer/more intimate than they actually are.

[incense-and-nonsense]

Finished watching Arcane last night and I have some thoughts about Ambessa Medara that I need to get out of my system.

What I find fascinating about Ambessa as a character is the fanbase's reception of her: she's a big muscle mommy with a hidden soft side. However, I don't think the show's writers want us to like her and especially don't intend to portray her as an attractive person. The reason I think this is because (aside from her gender) she's a textbook example of a toxic, hypermasculine, alpha-male power fantasy.

Let's elaborate. Only a few minutes after we're introduced to her (having invited herself into her estranged daughter's world in a display of Emotionally-Healthy Parenting TM), she announces that she's off to "sample the local cuisine," gesturing towards a male consort/companion who awaits her.

And then there's this scene:

Here we are shown Ambessa naked in a bath being massaged by the same comparatively small companion we met earlier. The power dynamic in the relationship is clearly one of domination and submission. She's indulgent in her consumption and luxury and lobs criticism after criticism at a visibly uncomfortable Jayce, all while the artwork behind the two reinforces how this exchange will play out: Ambessa holds all the power, while Jayce is on the defensive.

In short, everything about the way Ambessa talks and carries herself is meant to convey one simple message: I am powerful. She never needs to insist on her power--it's self-evident.

On the surface, this seems like an extremely well-written feminist icon. Ambessa is strong and confident, bending to no-one and self-assured. In flashbacks and in her own dialogue, she's presented as someone who is willing to take ruthless and decisive action regardless of other's feelings. She exudes confidence and charisma and never apologizes for the space she takes up in other's lives. Other people exist largely to fulfill her goals and desires. Further, later she reveals that she exiled her daughter Mel because her daughter's more merciful and diplomatic nature weakened Ambessa and her resolve.

In short, Ambessa is the textbook icon of hypermasculine power fantasies enfleshed in a woman.

Thing is though, these traits don't become less toxic when they happen to belong to a woman. Imagine the two scenes above if the character's genders were swapped. Then what we see is a confident, muscled warmonger who establishes his place in the social hierarchy through displays of sexual dominance and belittling those around him. Imagine Caitlyn attempting to discuss the situation in Piltover as a nude, muscled man insults her competence and strides naked over to her in a clear display of power. That's not a character we celebrate; it's a character who makes us feel violated by their very presence. Moreover, it's a character we've all probably seen before a hundred times.

Toxic behavior doesn't stop being toxic when done by a woman instead of a man.

Ambessa is not intended to be a likable character. She manipulates and dehumanizes others (especially sexually), refuses to show mercy, and pushes away those closest to her out of her fear of weakness. She's not an icon of female empowerment. Her character is a commentary on how easy it is to think that feminism means adopting the toxic ways in which men have often exercised power over others. Dehumanization and exploitation aren't behaviors that we should celebrate just because they make a women look strong. Rather, we should re-evaluate what we think strength looks like.

[kylo-wrecked]

Name: Ben.

Nickname(s): Occasionally, a friend, a foe, or a love interest will call him Benji or Benny. Obviously, all Bens are united in their hatred of this.

Relationship Status: Verse dependent. Modern!Ben's articulated the words 'I love you' to but one other.

Gender: Cis male.

Romantic Orientation: Exploring or unsure.

Preferred Pet Names: Music!Ben will call you 'baby' if he hates you.

Opinion on True Love: All Bens believe true love exists... but maybe not for hims.

Opinion on Love at First Sight: Music!Ben thinks he's fallen in love at first sight many, many times. Modern!Ben is somehow more suspicious. Ex!Con Ben has never looked another person in the eye (Jk, he's not a believer) and Smuggler!Ben...

How ‘Romantic’ Are They?: He's unpracticed, not unromantic.

Edited for E.: Music!Ben can charm the pants off anyone but I still don’t think that makes him a ‘romantic.’

Ideal Physical Traits: This one is tricky because mun struggles to understand what makes one physical trait more desirable than another :') but we shall try.

Based on copious evidence, mun believes Bens generally prefer longer hair for [women/femmes], short to medium curls for [men/mascs], notable thighs (strong, long, or thick), or other limbs and extremities (Smuggler!Ben). Striking eyes, chest hair for [men/mascs], a nice smile, a brazen or unique laugh (for Music!Ben especially, laughter is physical). Scars and other proof of life.

Because he's 6'4", he prefers his partners tall, but because he's 6'4", he invariably accepts smol.

Ideal Personality Traits: If he likes you, be yourself. All of yourself, preferably, because he's greedy.

All Bens find humility attractive in a person. Music!Ben covets meanness and whatever he interprets as power today. Let's not think about tomorrow.

Unattractive Physical Traits: We're struggling again, and that's okay.

Redubbing this part 'least desired observable characteristics.'

Shaved or bleached brows, dreads on heads where they don't belong, notable cosmetic alterations (Music!Ben specific), literal body language (Smuggler!Ben specific), worm physique (Smuggler!Ben specific), problem skin.

Unfortunately, Music!Ben can veer on fat-phobic (he's certainly weight-conscious himself) and Modern!Ben thinks women should shave their legs for him or something ridiculous like that. Not that he'd ever say it. (Dirty fingernails are fine by him, though. The more, the merrier.)

Unattractive Personality Traits: ☝️ Do not lie to him.

Ideal Date: bullets? Bullets.

Modern!Ben: movie/museum and dinner, in that order, because post-movie/museum-going conversations reveal much about a person.

Music!Ben: goes from 1 to 111. He's not dating you; he met you someplace awful and will never leave you alone again. Hint: He's never the dumper, always the dumped.

Ex-Con!Ben: Somewhere quiet, outdoors, away from the public eye. Said date must make it clear to Ben that he's on a date, or else he'll be utterly lost.

Smuggler!Ben: kidnapped Poe Dameron once—and it was awesome.

Do They Have a Type?: Bens are often attracted to sensitive, mysterious persons... or people who 'yell' at hims (Music!Ben, Smuggler!Ben).

Average Relationship Length: Six inches. One to two years.

Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: Smush-

Commitment Level: Fluctuates. Bens are serious about those they care for, but.

Ah, the various buts.

Opinion of Public Affection:

Modern!Ben: Outlook good/You may rely on it.

Music!Ben: Don't count on it/My sources say no.

Ex-Con!Ben: ???/Ask again later.

Smuggler!Ben: *loudly in the cantina* —we're NOT married?!

Past Relationships?:

Modern!Ben: Has entered two serious relationships. The first was young and short-lived. The second ended in California. She cheated on him, and he has never recovered.

Music!Ben: Sadly. And before then, a fling with Rey, which he fucked up beautifully. And before, after, and somewhere in between, a thing with Armitage (verse dependent). It wasn't a romance, but it was certainly something.

Ex-Con!Ben: Nope.

Smuggler!Ben: Verse dependent but primarily occupied with and committed to Not Dying Between Now and Centaxday.

tagged by:// @godresembled <3 thank you, fren, for the much-needed distraction during my moving frenzy.

tagging:// anymun who hasn't already done this meme and wants to share~

singling out, @valkxrie, @debelltio, @itmeanspeace, @themckaytriarchy, @ofthestcrs (muse of choice), @certifiably-i (muse of choice), @ifyoucatchacriminal (muse of choice). @etoilebleu (muse of choice eris).

[mellifluousprince]

in progressive spaces there are so many unique, personable expressions of what it means to be a woman, and how girlhood is this beautiful open ended thing that everyone has their own definition of. I think it's wonderful to see women bond over their shared experiences & find companionship in each other as a result. meanwhile, what it means to be a man is essentially getting pigeonholed into this idea of being some violent, sex-obsessed beast; both by obnoxious men who keep pushing the whole alpha male manosphere garbage, and by women who see that trend & then view all men that way, ascribing every man with the label of a monster in order to protect themselves. there's nowhere else you can go. if you try to strike out on your own and define masculinity in your own way, in the eyes of everyone else you just fade into obscurity. it's like you don't even exist. the worst part is, it feels like i'm the only one who wants masculinity to have a broader meaning. so many other men i know want so badly to live up to this ridiculous ideal being forced on them. meanwhile i've known my whole life that i'll never be an "alpha male", because i don't want to be. but even if you don't subscribe to all the manosphere stuff and live your life free of those toxic expectations, as long as you're a man you'll only be thought of as bland and uninteresting. Women are seen as these inherently ethereal gorgeous beings(they're not, they're just people and saying this just further pressures them into feeling like they need to be attractive objects, but that's a different post), and men are either monsters or...nobodies. "Just some guy". John Doe. If that's what you want, then that's all well and good. But is that really all there is to being a man? when you strip away all of those preconceived notions about how men should look or behave or be seen by others, then what is masculinity, really? ideally, it should be the same as femininity in the sense that it's whatever you want it to be. you can see yourself in a traditional sense, as a proud, strong warrior who fights for honor & protects and provides for his loved ones, or a more non-traditional way, a demure prince who waits calmly for a princess or knight or other lover to sweep him off his feet. you can romanticize yourself as anyone you want: a hardworking scholar who wants to learn as much as he can or improve the world around him, a powerful athlete who lives for the joy of sport, an early-bird baker who embraces the quiet life, an iron-willed blacksmith who endures the forge to arm his brothers and sisters, a singer who lends his strong voice to uplifting the oppressed, a warm-hearted husband and/or father who has so many good wishes for others. sky's the limit. i understand why women often put men in a box and view men the way that they do. if you don't know a man's intentions, it's safer to lead with distrust. but i know in my heart that i would never hurt anyone like that, and so i don't want my personal sense of masculinity to be defined by those men who do such horrid things. i don't think any man should personally feel like their masculinity is synonymous with being a monster. i think they should burn the manosphere to the ground and just find the answer themselves. what's manlier than that? someday i hope people will feel comfortable enough to no longer think of masculinity as this stagnant, unmoving collection of violent, angry traits. i want it to be sought after and romanticized the same way femininity often is; as another equally glorious representation of what it means to be human.