#making tickets so soon
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why does everyone in my life have one foot out the door i just want to have someone reliable someone dependable and trustworthy who fully comes inside the room of my life and takes my hand and locks the door and promises to stay forever
#or at least as long as they can#my dad actually came to get a full body checkup and he has iron deficiency like too much of it and he seems so weak after it#cause too many tests and i hate seeing him like this so tired i hate him when he's here but i hate when he can't wait to go away that he's#making tickets so soon#he can't fucking leave i hate him im tired of him i want my parents to get a divorce but i still want him don't i get to feel like i have#atleast one parent#it's so fucking scary man his mom (my dadi) died when she was younger than him from a heart attack i feel so fucking scared why won't he#take better care of himself i can't bear to lose him he made me stay here in his stupid house and lose everything until he was the only one#i had left and now he wants to go too#no you fucking don't
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by the way. there's no conceivable universe in which the FTL fleet that left Earth in NtN didn't have it incredibly rough.
I've said this before, but it bears reminding: they jumped blind, using untested technology, with NO supply lines back to earth and no concrete plans for a colony. they took ships that were supposed to stack 11 billion people canned in like sardines and nothing else and stocked them full with enough resources to live on for generations and somehow found a settlement, and that was before they had to rush the schedule because John was making noise about transparency and mask their actual launch as a trial run.
it wasn't a comfortable journey. I'd be very, very surprised if the total passenger count was higher than 10k people, for space/resources allocation reasons as well as for secrecy reasons. Every person on board was a mouth to feed, and their descendants, and their descendants. I've seen some people in fandom say stuff like "Of course they'd bring along servants! Rich wouldn't do chores!" and IMO that fundamentally misses the point.
This wasn't the space equivalent of a cruise liner, or the Titanic crossing the Atlantic with first-class quarters and third-class decks. This is the space equivalent of climate refugees crammed in 500 in a tiny fishboat crossing the sea with a non-insignificant chance of dying en route, after emptying their savings to pay for the trip. The fact that the people on board the FTL ships were once insanely rich doesn't mean they travelled in comfort.
This was a desperate last-chance trip, destination "anywhere but here", chances of survival unknown. Their privilege got them on the ships, but the moment they left Earth, that privilege ceased to exist; there was no way to enforce an existing social structure. This is why, again, I think there were no luxuries on board and absolutely definitely no servants - if you're about to willingly enter into complete social collapse, you don't WANT to bring people you regard as less than yourself, knowing that they will be your equals tomorrow.
I'm still convinced that half the fleet at least didn't make it out, and those who managed to found settlements were nearly wiped out multiple times at different points in history.
#this was brought to you bc of that post this morning about whether there would be pets on the ship. my answer is: not for long#anyway. john calls them soon to be impoverished trillionaires. giving away cash bc it wasn't worth anything anymore in their eyes#we know 200 people on those ships were randomly selected as a smokescreen after john started making noise#we KNOW M- said that absolutely everyone else on the ship had bought a ticket or been useful to the project#you cannot conduct a large scale migration and mask it as a random test.#you can't keep that level of secrecy if you involve people who aren't in your exclusive circle#living people + supplies take up SO MUCH more space than canned bodies people#I'm putting the whole fleet estimate as 10k-12k MAX people and absolutely no menial workers lol#yes the trillionaires will wash the dishes if it means not sharing their limited oxygen with their nanny who could mutiny any day now#ftl fleet#nona reread#sort of i HAVENìT officially started but#tlt thoughts#elle tlt posting#tlt
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#i told my friend i would go to a con with her in december and paid for my portion already but i kept getting super depressed thinking about#going to the con#and i mainly said yes because she has bad social anxiety and i wanted to support her#but i went to a con with one of my other friends a while ago and i am totally out of it#mentally and emotionally when it comes to anything fandom related. exept anime con but that's because i like seeing ppls costumes.#it's like i am a ghost of myself.#also i have expenses that keep piling up and i was like 'even if i don't get the whole refund i would rather have the money than go#on a trip just to be miserable'#so i kept putting it off but then i was like 'well i need to tell her at least a month before or else that is going to be really bad'#so i told her last night that things came up and i couldn't go (things is work/needing to save my money). like i know i already paid for it#but my partner is having a hard time making rent and i am having a hard time keeping a job so...#and i haven't told her any of this i just said 'things came up'#so she was naturally quite upset with me and said she “didn't give a shit if [i] lose money” but would pay me back for the con tickets#and the flight#like... she has always been brutally honest and (maybe?) autistic-coded so i tried not to let it get to me. i totally get being upset#and i am somewhat bothered with myself that i even said yes in the first place & then went back on it/waited so long to decide#but also i didn't expect to be paying my partner's half of the rent for a few months sooo.....#yeah#at least i will get half back and then i don't have to worry about asking for time off if i get a secondary job soon which i definitely nee#vent#delete later#tw financial issues
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Another day, another memory stick from Neil with music he thinks I’ll like 🥺
#he’s been off for a month and then I was off for a week and lne of the first things he does is give me more music to listen to#AND he gave me first refusal for a ticket for a gig he couldn’t make it to anymore I love this man so much#oh and he’s also encouraging me to go to Canada to see marianas trench if they don’t come to the uk anytime soon lol (and why am I#considering it. mans an influence to be sure. whether it’s good or bad remains to be see )
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okay more on hajime's underwear. . in a world where all the fte's are canon for everybody and not just a gameplay thing, do you think everybody on the island made it like. a bet or something. every single person he's became close with on this fucking island gave him their panties as a token of closeness, so like are they waiting for him to reciprocate?? the one person he gives his underwear to is like. the Chosen hajime person and they get to gloat ? do they ask.
#this is a crackfic waiting to happen i need to not make another wip . But.........#everybodys in the cafeteria of the hotel . sat patient like a serious meeting is gonna happen.#“so.. hajime who are you giving your undies to? all of us have given us yours..”#“??? excuse me?”#think hajime has to run away . but they keep chasing him down. like the everybody loves shadow audio thing but with hajime's panties.#or the mlp the gala ticket episode where theyre trying to impress him for it.#“ah hajime i made u a nice delicious cake!!!!.... so uhm... any ideas on who's getting ur panties? haha. no reason at all.”#he tries to find refuge in chiaki and she's normal. like 100% normal and he's like oh thank god...#i think her and komaeda being the only ones to not be at the cafeteria matters . i shouldve said that but oops#and theyre chilling and he keeps faking himself out bc it Seems liek chiaki is gonna ask about his fucking underwear but it's always normal#. and at the end she's like “this was fun hajime. ..” *expectantly looking*#and it clicks. she didnt say anything but she Was expecting him to give it over. like how everybody else did after a while#“yea! it was... uhm haha. so i'll be on my way ^_^;;”#chiaki's cheeks puft out and he can Tell she is disappointed. he's not sure why. why this matters. why it's like a token of. Something#that is sooooooo important to everybody. but oh well#he's off on his way and he finds komaeda. distressed over dropping his keys in the water. he can go fish em out ^w^#and he does. and he and komaeda hang out. because this is the 2nd fte space of the day that hajime typically has.#komaeda is the One person who doesn't even give a shit about his panties. like at all.#and hajime thinks this is gonna be a chiaki 2.0 situation but nagito is like “okay cya hajime ^w^ thanks for that!” and goes inside .#doesnt even give hajime a chance to give him anything. if he wanted to.#Lol...#i think im gonna run out of tags soon so ill cut it there.#micetalk#hajime#literally all of class 77b#nagito my darling#chiaki the wifey#contained myself on this one. insaneee right?#danganronpa#thinking things again
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i feel like im always trying to find the "correct" balance between doing things and actively living my life and having fun vs hanging around at home chilling out doing nothing just being. n im always scared im getting it wrong. but i dont know what "correct" means and i dont know who im expecting to score me on this and tell me if im getting it right or wrong. what a silly and pointless thing to feel self-conscious about.
#its raining out so i dont think im going to go buy shoes after all.#i also kind of just dont really want to do that i just felt like i should be doing something and im taking the rain as an excuse not to#but i didnt go to the show i had tickets to last night either and this is day 3 of not really doing anything at all#which feels like im failing at being a person somehow. which doesnt make any sense because im otherwise enjoying relaxing!#i have a big few weeks ahead of me! so what if i do nothing for a few days!#im going to shower soon and go buy soup ingredients and make soup. by god isnt that enough?
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what tattoos do you have?
the first one is jiji from kikis delivery service. the artist kinda botched it, like his eyes are a bit lopsided but i’m fine about it. i’m gonna get a few more tattoos around it so u don’t look at it so much and probably get someone to touch it up. and the other two are howls moving castle inspired:
#im a believer of the idea that tattoos represent who u were at that time#so mistakes and kinda corny tattoos don’t bother me#i love them they make me happy#also i will be getting non studio ghibli tattoos soon#(when i have money again)#(so never because i need to save up for melb GP tickets)#💌asks
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#kai.rambles#broooooooOOOOO#i got shit to TELL YALL#my account got terminated last night BUT IM BACK#i immediately went to tw support and they got it fixed in a few hours thankfully but the night i’ve had bro#i went into a mini panic as soon as i saw it was terminated then i made the ticket and the tw post#texted some mutuals to confirm that it was terminated to make sure i wasn’t tripping#then cried a whole lot lol#made mac and cheese at like 12am to cheer myself back up and had some wine with it#cried again#then drowned myself in brittany broski so that i could laugh a little at least (watch her asmr reaction vid PLSSSS😭)#and now at 3:25am when i sat down to make a new account I GOT A NOTIFICATION HDNWJSJSJJSS#IM BACK BITCHESS
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Since yesterday was Boxing Day what does Johnny and the Gorilla Gangs do on that day.
Ooooooo thank you so much for the ask!!! I actually am going to touch a bit on this in my fic Meeting The Nephew in the last chapter, but legit only like one line so yay, I get to talk about it more!!
- <3 Gooseless
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While Stan and Barry do hang out and spend time with Johnny and Marcus during Pancha Ganpati, it's mostly just the two Taylors that celebrate it as for them it's not just a religious holiday but a time when they feel really close to Johnny's mum.
Therefore, Boxing Day is the day when gifts are exchanged between them and Stan and Barry. Though the location of breakfast alternates between the garage and the uncles' shared apartment, the four always eat together (a daily occurrence even not on holidays) and open gifts in the morning.
Johnny finds it hysterical to get his dad at least one thing that says "from your favourite child/son" even if it's a card every year despite being an only child. Stan tends to give gifts that were not previously approved of by Marcus (yes, the first skateboard does technically fall into this category). Meanwhile Barry treats wishlists like a chemical spill instruction manual and follows them religiously. Marcus on the other hand, does majority of his shopping months in advance and therefore doesn't really need to follow the lists.
After food and gifts however, the group typically goes and volunteers at Johnny's temple, as it serves food to people in need as well as providing winter clothing for free, for the rest of the day. Volunteering together is very important for all of them and their biggest day to do it is definitely Boxing Day, as they spend the entire day doing so, but they continue the tradition at other times throughout the year too.
#sing#sing 2#sing johnny#sing marcus#sing big daddy#sing stan#sing barry#holidays in the taylor household are always bittersweet due to the memory of jia aka johnny's mum#no stan did not tell marcus he was getting 7 year old johnny skateboarding gear#marcus did get on to him for this but still took johnny to get a board soon after#you give barry a list he's gonna follow the list (WHICH IS THE LOGICAL THING TO DO IMO)#the things marcus gets are things his family like and if they really want something and he only finds out in december he will go buy it#but sometimes gifts are easily predictable. johnny? music and skateboarding stuff. barry? computer parts or mystery books.#stan? tickets to something and food. boom shopping done.#johnny makes a lot of his gifts#as does the others when money is tight (it is always tight)#stan's gifts are so chaotic and for no real reason either smh
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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#it's crazy that some people are going to 4+ shows while heaps of my mutuals are going to none#idk when we have all been in this community for years and some of us feel like friends i dont understand how you could not choose#to lose one show out of your 4+ so that someone who wants to go just as desperately as you can go once#like how much difference does one show out of that many make. vs a beloved mutual completely missing out and never getting to go#(i do have tix to one show. so this post is not me suggesting that anyone should give me tickets)#(which is why i feel like i can say this. but i still might delete it soon)
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the most devastating shit on earth is that i had a friend in middle school who was like my ride or die. but her only "social media" was Google Fucking Plus. so naturally i have lost her in the wastelands of that shitstorm. but i cannot find her ever again bc she has like The most common name on god's green earth so one facebook search for people with her name in the bronx yields like a million fucking results. so imagine if she's not even in the bronx anymore. 10 million results
#and if by some will from god she's out there wondering about me occasionally too She'd also be shit out of luck#bc my first name is different now. not even close to my birthname. and my last name is a nightmare#i didn't learn how to spell that shit until i was 6 and only so soon bc my mother set aside time to teach me specifically how to spell it#like it was its own school lesson. How to spell my own last name. so i'm not going to imagine someone could ever just Remember That#a decade down the fucking line#but i miss her often. she showed me inuyasha for the first time before rodan even did#we had the most awkward innocent scared quivering animal type lesbianism happening.#i would walk her home even though it meant making my 10 minute walk home into like 45 minutes#she lived in one of the projects and she snuck me in her apartment a few times when her dad wasn't home. that's when we watched inuyasha#one of my ''gifts'' i remember so specifically when we had decided we were dating is. i gave her. a tiny bag of chips.#blinks for a long time at you. i got her A Bag Of Chips.#💀😭 She should've killed me where i stood........#we once kissed because someone said they'd give us 20 dollars for it. We did not get the 20 dollars.#i was mad bc i wanted to split it with her and get snackies at the deli after school together or something. kills my elf#WAAAH i miss her. i miss da bronx too. one day i'm gonna drag rodan downstate to see it all#i want to take him to the bronx zoo and the botanical gardens. but also i just checked and nearly scumpt at the prices#37 DOLLARS..... 💀⁉️ i remember. (said oldly) i remember when it was. SEVEN DOLLARS!!!#whstever fucking happened to wednesdays you get in free. huh#i'm too scared to even look at the gardens now bc Nearly 40 tickets a person. oh My God. vomitworthy#wait oh my god what do thebuses and subway cost now. oh no oh no oh no#okay it's okay. it's a 40 cent difference. idr what a metrocard used to cost so it means nothing that it's a dollar now#but also Why the fuck do the express buses cost SEVEN DOLLARS.... 😭 brother bring that shit back down to five NEOW!!!#it's not even double the standard fare anymore. even if i round up the standard fare That's More Than Double. what#i hate inflation i hate inflation i hate#i'm rambling. walks away fast And my ass
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i’m absolutely not complaining about ttpd as an album, i love it even more than i thought i would, but i do kind of wish she would’ve waited to release it until after the eras tour was over so it could’ve gotten its own tour :/ like the visuals and the stage design and the outfits are just sooo good and not only is it being cut down into only seven songs so it can fit into an already massive setlist, but everyone who went to the shows in the us, mexico, south america, asia, and australia — aka a huge portion of the tour dates — didn’t get to see any of it live. like it’s so impressive that taylor was able to add the ttpd section into the existing setlist but i can't help but feel disappointed bc this means we likely won't get a ttpd tour, which is something i would kill to see </3
#i know so many people demand new content from her constantly but with everything she’s been doing we didn’t NEED this album so soon yk#i personally would’ve been fine waiting another year or even longer if it meant ttpd could get its own era#bc it’s kind of impossible for it to fully have that when she’s already a year into this huge tour#she’s already had to cut so many songs to fit everything (not even everything bc there’s no debut set)#with lover/folklore/evermore not getting their own tours bc of covid it makes sense why she did the eras tour instead of a midnights tour#but now that touring is an option again it would’ve been nice for her to slow down her releases a bit to really focus on new albums more#idk maybe this is a hot take bc ofc the eras tour is incredible and i do feel so lucky to have gotten to go at all#but i just really wish i could see ttpd songs live and it seems like i won’t get that chance until the next tour#which will likely be years from now and who knows how many albums she’ll have put out by then#rn all i can do is hope that she’ll add another us leg or something so i can see eras again with the new setlist#but that’s very unlikely since she’s already added shows in miami/indy/etc none of which i can afford travel for let alone resale tickets#no one’s gonna even see this but if anyone does i hope it’s not taken the wrong way bc she’s given us so much in the past few years#sorry for the essay i just love ttpd and i want to see it live </3#lj speaks now
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don’t watch anyone but you in the first row
or do, makes for some entertaining photos
#we didn’t prebook tickets and it was a small cinema so we ended up in the first row#but as soon as we sat down we realised what photo potential we had lmao#good movie though!!#mads makes a post
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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Getting ready to go see Glass Beach in Boston this weekend, gotta be prepared for a super spreader event and look fly as hell, so here’s the first mask based on TFGBA cover art
#glass beach#my first big concert since 2017#so excited#got tickets as soon as it was announced#second mask will be#plastic death#themed#TFGBA#the first glass beach album#god I love their music#i also wanna make a bow tie with the lil coyote from 1015
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