#i have been putting this off bc of the shame and once you tell one member of my italian side the entIRE FAMILY knows
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freebooter4ever ¡ 2 years ago
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#OH BOY#so i finally called grandma and told her i lost my job#i have been putting this off bc of the shame and once you tell one member of my italian side the entIRE FAMILY knows#But she managed to hit me back with even worse news#A family member has bone cancer and it sounds bad#Like my grandma callyerdogs off started refusing food at the very end of the cancer#And it sounds like he's starting to do that#Everybody is spending entire days in the hospital it sounds very much like with what was happening with grandpa#i dont want to go into details#Anyway on top of this my childhood bff is getting married in atlanta at the end of august#So i was going to visit grandma at the same time#And now she's being like no no no theres no need to come and im like GRANDMA PLEASE lol ;_;#And by lol i mean just for once could my family not be so fucking stubbornly self reliant im crying and begging over here#The tentative plan is to fly to pittsburgh after atlanta instead and stay with my dance buddy#and then i can be like look grandma im already here its a four hour drive i will see you in four hours#and stay for as long as they let me and then fly back from the burgh#But needless to say this is all a mess and i need to make actual plans SOON#:(#Im looking up flights the cheapest way would be to book a round trip ticket LA to atlanta and then a round trip atlanta to the burgh#Is this a bad idea? Does anyone else have experience doing this? Like for an extra 500$ i could do a three city ticket but that seems silly#I guess the problem would be if a flight got canceled or delayed but if i get travelers insurance for the flights#thats probably still less than the 500+ extra it would cost to do a three city trip#The other option is driving from georgia to the burgh which ive done once when going to florida with chezzy and family#So i know its a 13ish? Hour drive but i also know i can do it lol#I think the gas + car rental would cost more than the flight tbh#But i also love road trips
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jaeminvore ¡ 6 months ago
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room(hate) | L.JN (M) — part I
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SYNOPSIS: all you wanted was sleep after your long shifts at the hospital. All you needed was sleep after your long shifts at the hospital, but even that was considered a luxury in these trying times. A luxury blatantly stolen by your roommate, Jeno Lee, who seemed to have an endless line of bodies to fuck preventing you from getting at least an hour shut eye. It was annoying. It was disrupting and you seriously hoped that Jeno's dick falls off one day.
PART I (you are here) | PART II
[AO3 link for easier reading! Though please do consider leaving your thoughts on here if you’d like! I’d appreciate it sm 🥹💖]
GENRE: roommate au, non-idol au, slice of life-ish, unrequited hate, roommates with benefits, domesticity, porn with plot, fluff, comedy, crack treated seriously.
WORD COUNT: 18.3K out of 50K
CONTENT WARNINGS: afab!reader, a reader-insert but no ‘Y/N’ is used, MC's a little mean (blame it on the sleep deprivation), Mark has an unnamed girlfriend, Jeno's kind of an asshole (not on purpose) at first, mild slut-shaming, banter as forms of flirting/foreplay [smut warnings underneath the cut. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]
SMUT WARNINGS: Jeno has a big dick. fingering, squirting, doggy, unprotected sex (please practice safe-sex unlike these two), back-shots, aftercare.
NOTE: save me beatbox Jeno... s̸a̷v̷e̵ ̶̟̀m̸̞̐̇ë̴̠̟̤̆... everything is consensual btw! MC just looooves to deny and deny and deny because not only does Jeno put the 'D' in dick, he also puts the 'D' in denial <3 if i sound a little too in love it’s bc i am i love that man and i need him so bad 🧍🏻‍♀️
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"You like your peace, but you love a little chaos." — Maze by Alina Baraz
"I want you to love like you hate me and fuck me so crazy, crazy." — Lava Lamp by Lolo Zouaï
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I.
“When you first get a taste and your heart starts to race.”
Mark thought it would be best to part ways after living together for four years.
He was leaving you. 
“I’m not leaving you,” Mark corrected. “I’m moving in with my girlfriend.”
“That does not make it any better!”
Mark Lee was leaving you.
Not as a side-piece. Not as his ‘actual’ girlfriend (gross!), but leaving you to fend for yourself as his best friend. Which, fine, perhaps you could have started with that and excluded your dramaticism, but no one could really blame the immediate distress when you were about to lose Golden Boy Mark Lee—golden in many ways such as being the perfect roommate (minus his awful cooking. He was a great haggling partner for cheap deals, though)—to domesticity.
The thought of throwing all that away in exchange for less would send anyone into a downward spiral, if you could consider your crazed search for the next best thing as that; treating it as if you had to gamble a huge chunk of your life for the sake of retaining that same level of comfort and ease you got from Mark.
The only catch was, you had no fucking idea what it meant to gamble. Neither in the literal, nor in the figurative sense.
Which should have been telling considering that you had never, not even once, thought of exchanging a portion of your paycheck for chips you knew you’d immediately lose the second the lack of knowledge and experience showed on your losing set of cards. The closest comparable scenario you could think of was accompanying your grandmother to Mahjong Sundays with her friends, but even then, keeping up with the rules was rather difficult for a kid who only knew toys and the air time of her favorite cartoon.
Granny’s friends and Granny herself hadn’t bothered with explaining it to you either, being far too invested with their acrylic tiles. What you did learn, though, was how agitating the sounds were when they hit together. It just about evoked such a raw feeling of irritation a seven year old could go through. The messy aftermath of snot and tears did it for Granny that she made sure to ask if you’d let her drag you along.
In short: no gambling experience, yet going in full-on with that mindset equated a recipe for a shitty disaster just waiting to implode on itself.
Still, you liked to think that you had played your cards right during the whole selection process. 
Details of each possible candidate were carefully written down—color-coded, bullet points, foot-notes. Some probable pet peeves highlighted to be raised for another round of deliberation—thanks to the extensive background checks you had done on your own accord, then later checked by Mark pushed by your unrelenting insistence. A second opinion would help narrow down your choices and who better to fill that role other than your own roommate?
Well, ex-roommate since—again—Mark had succumbed to the clutches of domestic bliss.
And it’s not like it couldn’t be seen from miles away. Everyone and their mothers knew Mark’s intentions right when he had brought home a shih tzu—a dog he and his girlfriend decided to co-parent despite living separately—to look after while Mark’s other half went away for a work trip. Really, anyone could tell that he was itching to start anew under the same roof with his girlfriend, but you didn't expect it to be that day to be so soon.
Who was going to play as your budget therapist now?
If there was anyone out there who knew how exhausting being in healthcare was, it was Mark. He understood the grievances that came with being a nurse and he was always there to lend an ear until you felt less burdened by the frustrations you had carried throughout a demanding shift. It was like an inborn skill he had, finding it in himself to simply know what to say and how to bring you back down.
No one could ever replace Mark. Your co-worker. Ex-roommate. Your best friend and now that he was off to start a new chapter in his life, in love as he could ever be, this called for new coping mechanisms, and a new roommate because there was no way in hell you were going to pay in full when you had other expenses already making a sizeable dent in your next paycheck. Making it bigger was not an option you would risk.
That was another reason why you insisted on the in-depth research amounting to almost a month’s worth of what was essentially the text-book definition of stalking.
From: [email protected] Subject the roommate games Attached: tributes_lol.doc
Don’t you think you’re being a little too nit-picky with all this? When did being a Leo become a deal breaker for you haha. Like people can’t change their birthdays and do I need to remind you that I’m a Leo? We’ve managed to not kill each other over the years. There’s also Jaemin? Dejun? Who are also Leos? Who are also our close friends? What is your problem with Leos? I thought Geminis were the worst?
To: [email protected] Subject: the roommate games Attached: tributes_lol_FINAL.doc
yes, and?? THREE Leos are enough i don’t need more! in my defense i made the worst mistake of becoming emotionally attached to you guys except Jaemin (and Hyuck by association) forced friendship onto me if u remember. he’s like a stray cat that wont leave me alone.
From: [email protected] Subject: the roommate games
This is literally just a blank document?
To: [email protected] Subject: the roommate games
Which means your selection was ASS!!!!!! i dont like ANY of them. One has a criminal record of insurance fraud and the other is weird as FUCK dude like who cradles and pets their fucking goldfish like its a cat?how bout this, do u personally know anyone in need of a place? LIKE someone at least 70% normal
Radio silence. Almost five hours of it and sitting in front of your laptop refreshing the shit out of your inbox as if that would do anything seemed like the worst possible choice of action when aiming for a productive afternoon.
By the time you heard from Mark again, golden light illuminated the living area that you had to squint, picking up your phone to read his text messages.
Mark (ER): I found someone Mark (ER): remember Jeno Lee?
You: no lol
Mark (ER): lol Mark (ER): tall, muscular and kind of a hermit?
You: ur not really giving me much to work with You: for all i know jaem legally changed his name to jeno for some reason
Mark (ER): he’s nicer than Jaemin
You: 😟 You: one of hyuck and jaem’s friends i assume?
Mark (ER): correct Mark (ER): he’s looking for a place Mark (ER): and he’s likely the 70% normal to your 30% normal 😁
You: wait what’s my 70% then?
Mark (ER): insane
You: die
“His lease is ending soon too.” Mark brought up a few days later in the middle helping him pack up for the great move, and it was nice out too. Not too cold, not too hot—really, just a nice day out with the perfect temperature accompanied by an occasional breeze, and yet Mark chose this day to pack up his life, enlisting your help when you could be doing something else that didn’t remind you of the impending loneliness that was about to come.
Even the outside wasn’t safe from the beginnings of grief.
The outside, a picturesque view of the city’s greens gradually bleeding into the many shades of fall framed by the large window, became the very subject of your mournful eyes.
Brooding became your default state, whereas Mark carried on plucking his vinyl records, a small collection of novelty trinkets from your joint travels and the handful of thick textbooks from nursing school he refused to throw out. I might need them at some point, y’know. He once told you after catching your eyebrows raised in question. Just because we graduated doesn’t mean we magically know everything and Mark was mostly right about these things.
You were going to miss Mark being mostly right about these things. Whether it would be over something trivial, or medical related, he just was. Always a step ahead of you in many cases.
Summer was at its peak when Mark had sat you down to tell you of his plans, the sun harsh with its light and adding on to the steady increase in temperature. He decided to push through once the summer heat dissipated completely in anticipation of a chilly fall, and just like how the seasons came and went, watching Mark stow away bits and pieces of himself into the boxes was an inevitable change you had to accept. 
The loud scratch of the packaging tape made him wince as you sealed the box. “Who?”
“Jeno,” He repeated, reminding you of Donghyuck and Jaemin’s elusive, so-and-so friend as he took the tape from you with a pointed stare. “y’know, your new roomie?”
“I haven’t even said yes.”
“Trust me, you will.” Mark looked very sure of his claim, too. “Anyways—” he waved towards the air “—said something about his lease ending in a few weeks or so? He wanted somewhere close to work and our complex is like, real close to his office. A win on both sides?”
At least it wasn’t just you benefiting from the change.
“Right. How the hell am I gonna get to work without your car now?”
“That’s all you can say?”
“Hm, no,” you said, turning to face Mark with a straight face. “Do you think I could bribe Jeno into driving me to work?”
Mark huffed, “you’re stupid.”
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“You’re stupid,” you cried, doing an awful job of keeping the waterworks from overflowing with frustrated swipes to your face. “This is so stupid—I’m stupid—God, you only live like thirty minutes away.”
Mark, ever the one to find his friends endearing even in the most undignified of conditions, let out a fond coo while gathering you up in his arms in a tight squeeze. “I’m gonna miss your morning arguments with the coffee machine too.”
The dig was met with a thwack on the arm.
Wherever Mark went, you followed. Only because he was literally your ride to and from work and how convenient it was that you both worked at the same private hospital. He was the type to simply offer a ride when you obviously needed it. For years, it had been like that.
Now, Mark stayed behind. Where he belonged, leaving him in the care of his girlfriend practically absorbing his oozing joy as they both coddled her—their dog, Ziggy, just outside of their apartment complex. The couple were completely lost in one another, inadvertently forgetting the piles of boxes in Mark’s car that had to be brought up sooner or later. They had all the time in the world anyway and it was understandable that Mark would want to simply bask in the moment with the one person that made every waking day worth it. 
And leaving them behind to catch the next bus was a bittersweet pinch to your heart.
Mark was off to unfold the next chapter of his life, and here you were still, stuck in an endless cycle, wondering if you’d ever get to start on a new chapter of yours, too.
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Jeno Lee hadn't exactly matched whom you pictured in your head.
When there was Jaemin and Donghyuck, it was kind of an unspoken rule that your one-way ticket to the nearest psychiatric ward was to be willingly associated with the likes of them. 
Years of dealing with their joint efforts of embodying the human version of a headache, you kind of knew how to deal with whatever Jeno could potentially have in store for you. Jaemin and Donghyuck got along like a house on fire when the weather was fair, or when the planets aligned by some convoluted space related jargon Jisung would happily indulge any of you with. On any other day, they simply could not stand each other, wanting nothing to do with the other and arguing for the sake of arguing.
Still, they were the best of friends and having their differences was simply unavoidable, yet the many similarities they shared became a sturdy foundation for their friendship to last a long time.
Being unapologetically insane was one of them.
One’s involvement automatically entailed that they were just as deranged to some degree, and seeing the elusive piece to the trio you weren’t even aware was a trio, Jeno Lee—in the flesh—with a smile so sweet and unassuming gave you an earth-shattering wake-up call and reminder that you probably shouldn’t solely rely on baseless assumptions, especially when it came to people. Insane friends aside.
Other than that, you didn’t think a man with a face and body carefully sculpted by marble and brought to life by the gods themselves would be up to some milder version of fuckery like they were, now that Jeno thought to introduce himself.
The apartment felt staggeringly bigger than what you were used to with the absence of what made it belong to Mark too, though Jeno did a swell enough job to fill in the empty spaces with his presence alone.
It was brief. The meeting with the potential roommate, but nothing short of nerve-wracking when the man had the vibe of a quintessential supermodel top modeling agencies would fight tooth and nail for, decked in athleisure that had shown how he was built to all hell. A hundred-eighty-something centimeters of lean muscle cut with precision; clearly the fruit of Jeno’s possibly strict lifestyle, quietly taking everything in with a sense of wonder, yet simultaneously staying attentive as you ran your mouth about the apartment’s features and how sharing possible expenses would work.
You know, the vital stuff you’d want to know when it involved sharing your space with another person.
Which raised a few questions from Jeno himself. Little things along the lines of how often trash would be collected? If the apartment complex had a laundry room and if not, was there a laundromat by at least walking distance? How about a convenience store? A gym closer than his current one? These were answered fairly quickly, from which Jeno seemed pleased when his eyes turned into little half moons when he smiled, bringing your attention to the beauty mark under his right eye. God, was it adorable and frankly, you still couldn’t believe he chose to associate with two of the most annoying people you knew.
It was cute. Jeno Lee was cute, but among everything he had going on—your wandering eyes greatly appreciated the free viewing—his voice was what stuck out to you the most with how gentle he had spoken.
A voice deep and rumbly, yet warmth coated each syllable rattling the beating palm-sized thing in your chest the more the carefully articulated sentences passed through Jeno’s naturally pouted lips. He talked like he was trying to get into your good graces; like talking in any other way would risk disrupting the pleasant ambience set in stone before Jeno’s visit, which wasn’t at all necessary when Mark practically sang his praises.
And Jeno was all Mark talked about post-moving out.
Seriously, if he hadn’t chosen the medical path like you had, Mark Lee would have made a mean sales rep. You even felt the need to stop him and ask if he was still talking about a human being and not a brand new car right after he had his fill of listing down exactly why you should take Jeno in. How he essentially met all your admittedly nit-picky roommate requirements. 
Mild-temperament. What was he, a dog? Jeno was neat and tidy. Claimed that he couldn't function if measly things such as a coaster was askew. Oh good. A neat freak just like me. There were also a few pages of referrals Mark had shown—yes, printed—from previous landlords and roommates because that was a thing, apparently. Squeaky clean criminal record (with a cute face like that, it didn’t come as a surprise). Worked in tech. In the same income bracket as you.
A Taurus man.
Which shouldn’t have given you that much of a start, really. You haven’t had much experience dealing with any Taurus people—a Taurus man, no less, so this would be decidedly new.
He is reliable, persistent, and down-to-earth, with a strong sense of duty and an admirable work ethic; the kind of guy you can always count on in both your personal and professional life. He is not one to make waves or cause drama; he just wants to do his job and go home at the end of the day. A Taurus man is all about practicality, stability, and security. 
He wants nothing more than to provide the protection of his loved ones and create a harmonious home life.
At least that was what the article wrote (ignoring the in-your-face romantic tone. You were looking for a roommate, not a husband), sent by an astrology-fixated Donghyuck who seemed a little too eager providing his insight when asked for his opinion on Jeno and Taurus people in general being acquainted with you.
“A little stability won’t hurt. It’ll be good for you,” Donghyuck had mentioned over the phone after grilling you and your astrological sign, antagonizing you for no reason. It went mostly ignored though, preoccupied with reading a case you were assisting with Dr. Kim tomorrow. “and nothing screams stability more than Jeno’s credit score.”
An excellent credit score, from what Mark had relayed over cheap Chinese takeout and never would you have thought you’d cream your pants from that information, yet here you were. Financial stability was a viable trait you’d consider looking for in someone, so the decision was a no-brainer.
“Oh, before I go.”
You swallowed something down like a scream when Jeno whirled around to face you while digging into his gym bag. 
“Mark probably gave you the rundown about me but—” a folded piece of paper was produced from within the depths of his bag, having you blinking owlishly when he wriggled it for you to take.
Jeno’s palm was warm under the gentle brush of your fingers as you plucked it from his own set, pointedly ignoring the zing that jolted through you.
Arial. Font size twelve. Single spaced and justified, and it wrote what Mark had been yapping about all this time prior to having Jeno in the apartment. His MBTI, a rundown of his personality with all his quirks and habits included (you snorted rather loudly when catching the italicized ‘mild-temperament’). There was his daily routine that heavily emphasized his recreation time such as cycling, working out, gaming and a small pool of sports. His likes and dislikes, and making you laugh the loudest was his disclaimer, something Jeno was rather proud of when you caught his pleased smile.
Disclaimer: Homebody, but will go out with you if you ask nicely. I get lost in gaming a lot so you might have to knock very loudly, or even call my phone. I get sulky very easily. Please be nice to me (.◜◡◝)
The emoticon was just the cherry on top. It looked so much like him—an absolutely precious detail that you had to do a side-by-side comparison, only to find him already gazing at you in wonder.
He cleared his throat, smiling and cheeks glowing with the faintest of color. “I figured you’d want a detailed resumé. He said you’d appreciate it.” Jeno joked with the smile widening into a soft grin that showcased his perfect white teeth, long fingers raking through his dark blue hair, both in a manner that screamed boyish and charming.
He was charming, which came as a belated, mortifying realization. Nano seconds was all it took to picture life sharing everything with a cute-faced gym rat and his equally cute grin you’d have to face every single waking day for fuck knows how long until you went insane.
It could either be the best or the worst thing to come out of this. You’re not sure yet.
Though it’s as if Jeno sensed your mental turmoil because he didn’t even give you a second to rethink, leaning in close enough that you got a whiff of his cologne as he poked a particular spot on the paper a few times, grin dimming into something gentler where his eyes gained this puppy-ish quality to them followed by a head tilt.
“My number is on here,” he stressed with one last poke to his number, ducking his head low enough to catch your gaze. “Call or text me if I make the cut, yeah?”
And as the door shut behind Jeno after flashing you one last dazzling smile, you slumped against the wall with a harsh sigh, mind racing and heart about to fly out of your rib cage with the paper still clutched tightly in between your fingers.
Jesus.
You: I think I just saw a god
Mark (ER): lol? 😆 Mark (ER): how was it with Jeno
You: i literally just said i think i saw a god
Approximately three hours later, you’ve earned yourself a Mark replacement, much to the namesake’s chagrin and stealing a piece of your chicken tenders as a form of retribution.
Approximately a week and half later, Jeno hung his degree and graduation portrait next to yours right above the TV, a detail both of you found hilarious and continued to giggle over even after clearing two greasy boxes of pizza for your first dinner together as roommates. 
Approximately two months or so later, Jeno had unknowingly made an enemy for himself:
You.
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II.
“When you go out your way and you don’t see a change.” 
Frankly, being in this sticky situation could have been avoided entirely if you hadn’t let Mark’s flattery towards your roommate lure you into a false sense of security.
Frequent reassurance was an absolute necessity.
It was good to just know about things and your ex-roommate had made Jeno sound promising the handful of times your conversation would segue to him. It was your own hubris in Mark’s reassurance that had led you to this—that, and Mark had perfected the art of persuasion with words.
He’d always been good at spinning the narrative for his own advantage (Jeno’s in this case). Too good, in fact, where everything that flew past his mouth left no room for worry to fester when you’ve not yet lost anything of significance from trusting Mark and his judgment.
That was until you did. Blindsided by soft grins, half-moon eyes and a killer body you’d catch yourself quietly admiring whenever Jeno, oddly enough, took to working out in the living area.
So in conclusion, this was all Mark’s fault.
“This is all your fault.”
“Yo, what?” Mark laughed in that way where you just knew that he knew he fucked up. Forced, awkward, and a little terrified of what was about to come. “What’d I do?” He asked anyway, knowing he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep without finding out just what he did to get accused.
“You shouldn’t have pimped Jeno out to me—“
Mark rolled his eyes. “Not what I did—“
“Pimped Jeno out to me, ‘else I wouldn’t be suffering this much.”
“Hold on—you asked me to help look for a roommate,” he started, voice pitching up in disbelief. “And I spent days helping you sort out every important detail—even the nit-picky ones—for you! Only to ask for someone who wasn’t even listed on the fuckin’ doc. And in the end, you said yes!"
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah. Clearly a mistake on my part."
As he ranted, Mark’s gestures grew more and more frantic in defense of himself, only for his arms to fall back to his sides with a huff when you barely blinked, unimpressed, and then folding them above his chest with a pout before mumbling, “how’d you even find out about the criminal record and the weird fish owner anyway?”
You graced him with a lazy shrug. “Fascinating what you can achieve with technology.”
He stilled, squinting in thought before letting out a resigned sigh. “Donghyuck.”
“Duh? The closest I got to hacking was looking for a cracked Sims 2 copy.” You soon got grounded by Dad when you had infected the family computer with malware, sadly. “Hyuck’s surprisingly useful when wants to be.”
Or greedy. Ten dollars were raised once you goaded Donghyuck into sussing out any deal-breakers with a snide comment or two slipping out about him not being able to find anything that would make you second guess any of the potential roommates. Naturally, Donghyuck took your provocation rather seriously, treating it as the be-all and end-all to prove a point.
Ten minutes later, he was ten dollars richer. Crazy what people would do for money.
“Conflict of interest!” you raised again, loudly, making Mark flinch. “I barely get six hours of sleep now because of your emotional ties with my sworn enemy.”
Sure there were many benefits of being approachable, but you were somewhat of a negative Nancy and all you could think of was how Mark’s painstaking kindness could potentially get taken advantage of by some lurking asshole out there.
Which was exactly what had happened. With you as collateral.
“Uh, not gonna lie, but I think you’re being a little dramatic,” he sniffed, biting roughly into the sandwich you graciously made for him. Biting the hands that fed him, how lovely.
“I’m being dramatic?” you said, incredulous, and then flicked his forehead just to hear him cry out in pain. “Okay—try having Jeno’s headboard slamming against the wall as your lullaby, which—surprise, surprise—won’t help you sleep at all!”
You paused to regulate your breathing because you were getting a little too heated and you didn’t want to traumatize Mark even more by angrily exploding into pieces. Even as a nurse and though rare, he still got a little squeamish.
“I’m just saying, you’d think he’d have some shame and invest in those rubber bumpers, but no—he just had to make sure I know he’s getting way more sex than me.”
And he did. Have way more sex than you, that is, which was kind of insane now that you’ve thought about it. Ego-bruising too when the sounds you desperately tried to drown out still breached through a pair of neon green earplugs stuck deep as they could go into your ear holes. His questionable refractory period kept you up on most nights he had girls over, wondering how short it was that he’s able to bounce back and keep you up until the witching hour with the awful remix of moans, groans, screams and whatever noises one could make during sex. Why was it always the innocent looking ones the freakiest? Why must you suffer through all this?
You made a low noise in your throat, almost like a growl just thinking about what you've gone through the last few weeks. Fucking asshole.
Mark’s eyes widened. Whether it was from your admission, or the almost inhuman sound you made, the simmering rage wasn’t that hard to miss. The moment Mark walked into the apartment, he could visibly tell how wound up you were from your pinched expression while you waited for the bread to toast.
He’s been here for almost two hours and you have yet to relax. Mark’s current concern was what if your face gets permanently stuck scowling like that?
“Huh,” he breathed out, “didn’t know Jeno got bitches that often.”
“Mark.”
Mark immediately backtracked at the edge to your voice. “Uh, I mean—“ he cleared his throat, “fuck Jeno. I hope his dick, like, falls off.”
The beseeching shine of his eyes for your approval would have been something to laugh at if it weren’t for the anger taking full reign of the receptors responsible for regulating your emotions, not letting it process anything but the bottled up frustration from weeks of enduring the extra noises accompanying most of your nights.
So much for creating a harmonious home life with a Taurus man. Fuck that article, fuck whoever wrote it, and fuck Jeno Lee in particular. Seriously.
“You’re more pissed off than usual.”
“Yeah? Hadn’t noticed,” you said dryly.
“Dude, c’mon. Y’know what I mean,” Mark giggled, reaching out to pinch your cheek. You swat his hand away with a whine when he tried to go for the other. “Sorry, sorry—just—I feel like he did more if you—“ he made a vague gesture to the air in front of you “—are this upset.”
“I think keeping me up with the horrendously loud fucking takes the cake.”
“I dunno. You lost your fuckin’ marbles when I ate your food that one time.” He shuddered, knowing fully well how touchy you were with the prepped meals you slaved for hours every Saturday. “Was that what he did? That’s the one thing I told him not to do.”
Being this far into your career, cooking was almost like a chore since you barely had any opportunities to cook actual at-home-meals that required significant amounts of time and patience. You could even say that it was more appropriate to call it a luxury almost as most of your time was dedicated to the hospital—to your patients whose lives were also in your hands, and pre-made food was the only solution to fit three-meals-a-day into your demanding schedule.
The long-lasting effects of when he, out of sheer desperation, snatched your jar of banana chia pudding still lingered when he always made it a point to ask if he could have one bite, or a quick sip after the rather traumatizing verbal lashing you’ve subjected him to.
“No. Jeno knows not to do that at least.”
Like Mark, it’s the one thing you had stressed right when you had Jeno settle in. Not that he minded, sans the obligatory head tilt when he didn’t quite get it until your further explanation. He even offered his help with the meal-prep which kind of—for a fleeting moment—made you feel a little guilty thinking back to the conversation (puppy eyes, full lips jutted out into a thoughtful pout. More puppy eyes and Jeno’s weird, trademarked noises of confusion) until you were violently reminded of his fuckery.
Perhaps the whole golden retriever-like temperament and attentiveness balanced out his newly discovered predilection for whoring himself out.
Mark heaved a heavy sigh as if he was the one with a 24/7 sex noise problem. “Well, what could be worse than Jeno banging some random chick?”
You gave him a grim smile.
See, the thing was, it hadn’t always been like this.
You were no stranger to peace as you did get a generous taste of it with Jeno thrown into the mix. A peaceful coexistence between a surgical nurse and some tech guy.
A routine had been built around having different work hours where you were mostly gone from morning to evening when you weren’t on-call, while Jeno was, more often than not, stationary since he had the choice to either work from home on his elaborate PC set-up, or in the office he’d drive to when needed.
It was relatively normal. Jeno stayed true to the being neat claim and he kept to himself most of the time. He did his set of chores listed on the mini whiteboard stuck to the fridge and proved himself to be quite the efficient handyman also; assembling furniture with ease as well as fixing up superficial problems in the apartment. He was a decent cook too and Jeno generally acted what one would expect from a proper roommate who was here to make a home with you.
It had been normal. It had been peaceful, until you realized you were housing a potential sex fiend. What made this whole thing exponentially worse, though, was that the last girl he had brought home wasn't just some random chick that had fallen victim to Jeno’s charms.
It was Jimin Yu, your work best friend and the only other person who knew of your sleeping problem caused by the root of said problem whom you were starting to believe was sent to you as a divine punishment for fuck knows what. Which was kind of funny to think about considering Mark, his faith and him technically being the catalyst of it all, but you digressed. This was literally a slow-burn epidemic happening in real life, and yet no one else seemed to be alarmed by it.
Jimin Yu. Another promising young woman lost to some fucking loser (see: Jeno). Again. 
How you came to find out that it was your best friend getting her back blown out six ways to fucking Sunday right before a full day of two major operations waiting for you to scrub and assist in was from pure accidental intuition alone.
And anger. 
Especially anger.
There was a self-imposed rule you strictly followed: do not leave your room until you were sure the chosen girl from Jeno’s seemingly never-ending roster left. Saving both you and the poor girl from the embarrassment was the least you could do when you yourself would rather avoid any risks of running into anyone in someone else’s home right after a hook-up.
And, well, there was a reason why the saying ‘rules are meant to be broken’ was popularized, because you broke that one simple rule that had supposedly kept your remaining sanity intact.
Two hours left before your shift started and you were more husk than person from the lack of sleep. All rationale completely consumed by anger, an ever-present emotion that seemed to be the only thing that kept you going—and consequently, what had led you to shoot out of bed once the telltale sounds of Jeno’s door clicking open, followed by the hurried footsteps reached your ears.
You skidded to a stop, stunned.
“You motherfucker.”
This was the ultimate act of betrayal.
“It’s—It’s not what it looks like!” Was Jimin’s immediate defense right when the thunderous twist to your face grew more and more pronounced with each stomp of your feet. Yet her words didn’t exactly help her case when:
There were obvious splashes of reds, blues and purples marking her slender neck.
Her hair was a downright mess, and you knew Jimin harbored some sort of complex for her long luscious locks, so this was new—her not bothering to comb it out, clearly in a rush to leave.
There was a slight limp in her step which just said everything.
And lastly, you caught Jeno sneaking Jimin out of his room and out of the fucking apartment, clearly expecting to not run into you.
“Ah-ah. No,” you interrupted before she could even start groveling. “I’ll deal with you later. Get out.”
Jimin’s shoulders sagged, big wet eyes staring into your very soul and it took you a Herculean amount of strength to keep your gaze ahead and not break under her stare; to keep your gaze set on the main perpetrator who, unlike Jimin, appeared rather contrary to her apparent distress. 
Jeno stood underneath the awning in only—goodness—only a pair of gym shorts where you could clearly make out a hefty looking dick-print, completely at ease and infuriatingly handsome in spite of the disheveled state he was in; matching bruises bloomed on his milky skin, scratches littered his arms, shoulders and back and his hair was left as an artful mess atop his head. 
You wanted to scream.
This was all Jeno’s fault. Not even the hurt pinching Jimin’s normally serene features was enough to lessen the tension wounding up your entire body. Not when you were already neck-deep in your own pool of unfiltered rage to even consider comforting Jimin’s momentary lapse in judgment and decision to have earth-shatteringly loud sex with your mortal enemy that the whole damn apartment complex might as well have heard.
(“I’m surprised Jimin isn’t getting as much heat since she slept with your ‘problem’. On purpose.”
You shrugged. “Men are the root of all evil.”
“Fair enough,” Mark mumbled and took a gargantuan bite of the next sandwich assembled for him. It was really a mystery how he settled down before you).
And—look, you really couldn’t care less if Jeno slept around. It was his life and he had free reign over his own body, and let’s face it, there was no way he didn’t get an obscene amount of matches on Tinder when he embodied a walking wet dream.
Jeno was far from being in your good graces at this current moment, but staying blind to the truth would only get you so far when Jeno had the physical advantages to attest to that, and the same could be said for Jimin. She could hook-up with whoever she pleased—just as easily too. Hell, you’d sleep with her too if you were a little bit interested in her—because who were you to disprove her choices? All of you were adults here, but what the main issue here was Jimin knew you had one-sided beef with your abnormally attractive roommate that fucks too loud no matter how many times you reminded him to try and keep it down, and yet she still pushed on and contributed to the recurring problem.
Truer words had never been said until Mark. You really did hope Jeno’s dick shrivels up and falls off.
Now, preferably.
Right when the door had closed behind Jimin with a soft click (after dragging her feet and sending pleading looks over her shoulder like a sad wet cat) did all the pent-up anger come out in a mess of heated words and frantic gestures.
“What the fuck.”
Each breath you took had been deep and harsh. Your face was bordering on hot to the touch from the sheer amount of rage coursing through your veins and the arduous task of resisting the urge to reach out and subject permanent damage physically, mentally and emotionally by how tightly you had clenched your fists. You could already imagine it, hands stretching towards Jeno’s neck and wringing it like a wet hand towel until it ripped in your hands—
Your roommate reacted then, as if just realizing that this wasn’t you doing a bit. It made you think of how likely it could be that Jeno got away with many things simply for being the very few that had pretty privilege as a crutch to fall onto. As for you, it would be nice to have an actual metal crutch within arm’s reach to hit him with.
He was pretty to look at, sure, but not privileged enough to keep your eye from twitching in irritation when Jeno looked the least bothered by your display, long eyelashes fluttering with each of his confused and owlish blinking.
“What?” Jeno, the village idiot, asked with imploring eyes.
“What? What do you mean ‘what’? are you—“ you cut yourself off with an incredulous, borderline manic laugh at his testosterone-filled audacity. “Are you so desperate for sex that you had to go for Jimin?”
It’s not like he wasn’t allowed to bring his own friends over since you shared the same rotation of friends and acquaintances, but really, Jimin?
“I didn’t know Jimin was off-limits. You never mentioned it.” Jeno blinked slowly with a sheepish smile. “I’ll keep that in mind next time?”
“Are you fucking—were you even listening to me? Not just now, but before too. I told you to keep it down! Many many times! I need to sleep, Jeno!”
He huffed a laugh. “Technically, it’s not really my fault if they can’t keep it down, y’know?” 
You could only stare in disbelief, mouth ajar at the fact that he’s able to act proud during an argument he was likely to lose. Like dicking down someone so loud that it became a public disturbance was some kind of achievement with the way Jeno puffs out his very naked chest in the most subtlest of ways.
He wasn’t finished talking, taking your silence as a prompt to continue with a cloying curl of his mouth. “I could show you why, if you want.”
“Excuse me?”
If Jeno knew what was good for him, he would stop running his mouth right this very second. Though over time, you started to pick up on the very unfortunate fact that he lacked tact at times, and what he had let slip through his lips next proved as much.
“I’m saying,” he dragged out, like he was expecting you to catch on. “Sex reduces stress, right? The endorphin and oxytocin rush—I’ll assume you already knew that, being a nurse and all. Woman in STEM,” Jeno sang a little jingle, the smile widening into a grin that was a touch too suggestive for your liking. “I can see that you’re pent up, and I think fucking it out of you—fucking the uptightness out of you would do both of us good. A win-win situation.”
Whatever was left of the rose-tinted image of the man who had first walked into the apartment donning the sweetest eye-smile you had ever laid eyes on was wiped just like that. His grin that was meant to convey light-hearted teasing became the very image of mockery.
If you weren’t as furious then, you were now.
“Is that how you see me? Just another number to your body count?” 
It would have been funny, watching Jeno’s features twist from surprise to regret at the speed of light almost, but anything he did beyond this point just added to the stockpiled annoyance ready to be spit up again the next time Jeno thought to push his luck. So no, this wasn’t hilarious in the slightest.
“I didn’t say that—”
“You implied it.”
“That’s—I was joking!”
You scoffed, “that’s not surprising. Do you think my job’s a ‘joke’ too?”
This was exhausting. You had already lost a significant amount of sleep you needed to get through work that would start in two hours—well, less now that you’ve taken the time to completely go off the rails until some semblance of remorse showed on Jeno’s person. As satisfying as it was to witness that happen in real-time, asking some time off of work just to process The Confrontation™ was a no-no, given how important your presence was in the OR and it just so happened that you couldn’t stand being in the same room as him.
He should’ve added ‘insatiable horndog’ to his disclaimer.
Jeno made it clear that he had nothing else to follow up on, doing a horrible impression of a fish out of water that you had taken as your cue to leave.
And for the first time in forever, you couldn’t wait to breathe in the antiseptic smell of the hospital.
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Being this bothered by your cold indifference was not at all on Jeno’s bingo card.
Jeno was within your visage when you came through the door, yet you paid him no mind as you bee-lined towards your bedroom, like he didn’t exist to you. And, okay, maybe he did deserve that—no, he for sure deserved that after hours of reflecting. He wasn’t sure if you’d appreciate his excuse of not really being aware that the walls were thinner than he had thought.
Jeno winced at the mini play-by-play in his head.
You definitely wouldn’t.
The clock droned on and on with its never-ending ticking. Just a quarter past eight in the evening, Jeno checked, and his heart lurched to his throat, sitting up straighter from his perch at the island counter when you finally emerged from your room. Have you forgiven him? Did this mean you were on talking terms again? Because if he had to be honest, being ignored was a lot worse than you threatening to bite his head off. At least then you were technically talking to him still and not trying to erase his existence with sheer willpower alone.
All hope of making things right, however, was shot down the moment Jeno took a quick look at your change of clothes and the large duffle bag slung over your shoulder.
Panic welled in his chest, causing him to blurt out a garbled, “where are you going?” as you headed straight for the front door.
“Anywhere but here.”
Although there was no heat behind your words from the absence of the anger you had toted around this morning, being hit by your impassive stare has him biting back the haha nice Harry Potter reference. The poorly-timed joke from this morning was the final nail in the coffin and making another one now was a sure-fire way of getting buried six feet under. Alive.
Shortly after, the door closed behind you with a soft click. Much like how Jimin left when you had sent her out, leaving Jeno alone with the deafening silence as his only companion, the pit in his stomach growing when he peeled his gaze from the paneled door to fall onto the pair of steaming cups of coffee.
Mornings for Jeno started with you standing in front of the coffee machine, half-asleep and grumbling threats to the inanimate thing. He’d grown accustomed to the sight of your sleep-ruffled state that it was obvious you had quite the fixation on coffee. At least one cup a day, three at most, you had said with a bashful smile when he caught you pouring your third cup.
Coffee was a necessity in this household. Jeno knew that, knew how you liked to drink yours and he thought making you a cup exactly how you’d like it could melt away the thick walls you had built. A peace offering, or what was supposed to be a peace offering.
Two cups sat on the quartz countertop. One almost empty while the other remained untouched even as Jeno retired for the night.
Jeno walked into an empty kitchen the morning after.
A kitchen devoid of your sleepy form that would be threatening the coffee machine to spit out the liquid bitterness faster, or else. The silence was just as deafening and the cup—your cup—was where he left it the night before in hopes of you coming back home.
You didn’t.
Fuck.
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III.
“Prove me wrong by doing it right.”
“And you stayed where? For two weeks?”
“Jaem and Hyuck’s.”
Mark grimaced. “Willingly?”
You gave him a pointed look.
He raised his hands in defense. “I’m just sayin’ you have better options—like Sungchan?” Your face softened, offering a lazy shrug. “Me?”
You wrinkled your nose at the thought. “Yeah, no.”
While you had made plenty of jokes that would last a lifetime consisting of moving in with Mark and ‘the love of his life’, ranging from them becoming your second set of parents, to you being Just There with your best friend married and with kids, the appeal of third wheeling hadn’t increased in the slightest.
“I’ve had enough moaning and groaning haunting my dreams, thanks.” You snorted at the scandalized look on Mark’s face. “and I wouldn’t want to impose on Sungchan and Chenle. Thing One and Thing Two weren’t too bad.”
Although the stay had been surprisingly pleasant, with all things considered, they did poke fun at the situation at first because—duh, men. Regardless, their combined hospitality staved off the possibility of a psychotic break triggered by Jeno’s fuck-up. It would have been better if their third bedroom hadn’t been made into Marie Kondo’s personal nightmare, but the vomit green couch had been a comfortable makeshift bed. Who knew you’d end up loving the product of Jaemin’s horrendous tastes?
Jeno stayed as elusive as ever, too. You came home when you could, only to replenish your clothing and other necessities and much to your relief, you hadn’t run into him yet. Not at the apartment, not at the guys’ place (shockingly) and there was a brief moment where you thought your roommate might turn up at the hospital, what with the onslaught of texts you received, most of them apologizing and begging for you to come home, there was a time where you dreaded going to work in light of the possibility.
(“You’d think Jeno was your boyfriend with the way he’s blowing up your phone,” Donghyuck hollered from the kitchen, in the middle of cooking dinner for everyone. “He’s getting desperate with each text, babe. Even I’m feeling a little sorry for the guy.”
You looked up from the puzzle you were working on the floor with Jaemin to stare at Donghyuck, then to the space where you remembered leaving your phone on its own and now just noticing its disappearance. “How’d you get my phone? How’d you guess my passcode?”
“Zero-zero-zero-zero wasn’t that hard to guess,” Jaemin mumbled. “You’ve always been simpleminded about these things—which reminds me—you still use the same Netflix account since college, right?”).
Jeno was a no-show, thankfully. Causing a scene at work, of all places, would be way beneath you no matter how much he pissed you off.
Still, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t talk your shit from time to time.
“They’re probably faking it,” you concluded with a scoff and then quickly backtracked. “No. I know they’re faking it and it doesn’t even matter if Jeno’s tall, muscular, handsome, capable—” Mark’s eyebrows rose higher and higher, disappearing beneath his bangs as you continued on with your tangent.
“Precious eye smile—definitely a manipulation tactic… it worked on me.”
That one, you mumbled mostly to yourself, but it was audible enough to earn a short laugh from Mark which quickly snapped you out of whatever the hell that was, and then scowled when your ex-roommate, the catalyst for your suffering, tried to keep his face straight. He was doing a terrible job.
Clearing your throat—far too many times than necessary—you ignored the warmth that bloomed on the apples of your cheeks along with Mark’s insufferably knowing smirk. “My point is, there’s no way he’d be good at sex too. Like, you’re telling me Jeno made all those girls cum? Fat fucking chance. I’m sure there’s, like, a statistic disproving that.”
You didn’t even want to think what Jimin went through, especially when you’ve gotten a glimpse of what monster was begging to be freed from Jeno’s gym shorts. But like clockwork, Mark had to ruin that brief fantasy of you being right about Jeno’s possibly (hopefully) weak stroke game.
“Eh, I’d have to disagree on that one.”
How did he even know that?
“How do you even know that?” You groaned, “I’m distressed enough as it is, Mark, please be serious.”
“I am serious! I literally have the facts to back it up!”
“And what, I’m supposed to believe you?” All you were given was a stare, an arch of an eyebrow just begging to be plucked and shaped, and nothing else. “Fine, what are these facts based on?”
“Testimonies. Plenty of them.”
Your features twisted into that of disgust. “Were you there? In the corner watching him get his dick wet? Like some pervert?”
Mark appeared as though he regretted the decision of coming here. You didn’t want to be here in the first place, so it’s only fair that none of you were having a good time. Might as well make Mark your personal verbal punching bag while you were at it.
“Jesus,” he dragged a hand down his face. The perfect image of exasperation. “The mouth on you sometimes.” 
“Sorry,” you quipped, not sorry at all.
This time, Mark let out a groan much similar to yours, obviously not liking where the direction of the already bizarre conversation was heading. This upcoming headache (see: you) was rightfully deserved though since Mark did lend a hand in forcing you into a situation so embarrassing that you’d take instant death over being an unwilling voyeur to Jeno’s many many late night sexcapades.
“Okay, okay, okay—” Mark began as if the rapid-fire speech wasn’t enough to get your attention, or the fact that it was just the two of you hanging out in the kitchen. “You know how my girl hosts girls’ night every two weeks?”
“How could I forget?” you chuckled. “I missed the one two nights ago and your girlfriend’s really good at guilt-tripping.”
“Yeah,” he trailed off with a tender smile. “yeah—uh, she wanted everyone to be there.” Your own smile was knowing, a smidge teasing even and it was enough for Mark’s cheeks to pinken. “Anyways! One of the girls was painting my nails, right?” He wiggled his fingers, showing his mustard yellow painted fingernails with daisy decals, being the girls’ go-to mannequin every girls’ night. “Aeri brought up hooking up with Jeno a few times from like, a year ago, then it became this whole thing of the girls sharing their own experiences—and wow, you girls are just as gross with the details, like, for real—turns out, they all slept with him at some point! Crazy, right?”
“Even your girlfriend?”
Mark smiled, sheepish. Quite the contrast to your horrified expression. “They shared a gen-ed class. College sophomore year. She went to his frat’s party, they hooked up once and never again.”
“Please tell me the girls hated it at least.”
Mark’s jaw closed with a click, lips pressing into a thin line. “Y’know, I don’t think the word ‘hate’ was like, ever thrown around, honestly.”
Good lord—okay, so Jeno was kind of a slut then. A slut that had infiltrated your friend group (and fucked Mark’s girlfriend!) and left them unanimously agreeing that he earned his merit as an absolute god in bed. Go figure. This might as well be some divine force’s way of saying ‘go fuck yourself!’
“So I just have to live with it, is what you’re saying.”
“I mean…” His face twisted into an expression you couldn’t put your finger on and the nonsensical gesticulation didn’t provide any concrete context needed. Either way, you just knew you wouldn’t like whatever he says next. “If it bothers you that much, just find a new place. You’ve been here long enough.”
“In this economy?” you exclaimed. “That’s like asking me to kill myself!”
Not to mention drastic when you had already paid half of this month’s rent along with the other expenses—as did Jeno—and you really couldn’t afford splurging extra to get away from one minor—major inconvenience. Plus, you were pretty attached to the place.
Deciding on that was kind of a tempting solution, however. You had forgotten what it was like living alone after you and Mark thought to rent a place together post-graduation since you both agreed it was cost-effective, but if Jeno was smart enough to repent for his sins of stealing (sleep) from thy neighbor (roommate), you wouldn’t leave him to fend for himself.
“I should have stayed back and talked to Hyuck about this,” you droned, narrowing your eyes when all Mark did was snort at both your joke and your bias for Thing Number Two (Donghyuck). “He would at least agree that Jeno’s dick’s bigger than his brain.”
Which was farthest from the truth, actually.
Painful as it was to admit, the certificate of Jeno graduating from a joint program of Computer Science and Cyber Security as Magna Cum Laude was tangible proof that Jeno Lee’s brain was wired properly to some extent that It made your own certificate of graduating Cum Laude from your nursing program a bit lackluster. It was an inside joke you both shared; where your degrees and graduation portraits weren’t all that useless as they had been perfect for decoration.
All that’s left now was a sour reminder that Jeno got more bitches than you did every time you glanced up at the immortalized version of him. Looming above the flat screen TV with the effortless sweep of his hair and the sweet, canned smile he flashed at the camera.
While you spent hours to at least make it seem like you hadn’t been trampled on from the harrowing events of final exams, back-to-back practicals and soul-sucking internships, Jeno hardly looked like he had put in any effort—like an in-the-making supermodel taking his head-shots. His hair was in its natural shade of black, longer too with a subtle mullet going. Jeno looked younger, untouched by the trials and tribulations adult life granted anyone breaching that point and less like the sex fiend you would hiss at as a knee-jerk reaction.
The Jeno now fitted the latter description to a tee. This rugged look he’s got going on for him screamed trouble. He embodied what sex on legs meant as well as being the guy a god-fearing father would tell you to stay away from. 
Having said all that, you still thought that even hot people deserved to be humbled. Ever the one to talk shit about someone that had wronged you behind their back yourself, and Donghyuck was always a great shit-talking partner.
“Nice to know you still don’t listen to me. It’s like I’ve never moved out at all.”
“Maybe if you gave actual sound advice, I would.”
“Advice,” Mark parroted, following that up with a short laugh of disbelief. “you want advice? Okay, here’s one—avoiding Jeno won’t put a stop to this. Maybe all of this—whatever this is—could be resolved if you would just, oh, I don’t know, talk to him? Talk like proper adults would? Lay some ground rules or some shit, I don’t know.”
“I already did that! Many times, if you recall what we just talked about, and look where it got me.” 
Temporarily living off of the vomit green couch in exchange for better quality of sleep? Yeah, this was definitely a new low for you.
“Would you bail me out if I was charged for man-slaughter? I’ll pay you back… in a few years.”
“No,” was Mark’s immediate answer. “I’m being serious, babe. Just… talk it out, yeah? Jeno’s worried, texting me and all.”
Huh. Never would you have thought that ‘Jeno’ and ‘worried’ could be mentioned in the same sentence when you sampled just how much Jeno couldn’t give less of a fuck towards the deep lines you had repeatedly drawn, crossing it multiple times, but you supposed there’s always a first time for everything; like how this was a first for you not putting blind faith into Mark’s words.
“I find that hard to believe,” you groused.
Mark’s whole face then twisted into the very expression he’d wear when he’s about to deliver a mean lecture. Unfortunately for you, you had never been an exception to them and you were his best friend! It defeated the whole purpose of the label and the privileges that came with it and as you braced yourself for his god-given right of bitching at you, the sound of the keypad’s beeping made both of you freeze, the fight visible on Mark’s person gone once the automatic lock clicked in place as your faces blenched.
Not one of you dared to move as you listened to Jeno skulking around the foyer with bated breaths.
You could hear a pin drop when your roommate’s shuffling came to an abrupt stop. Then came the sharp gasp, the heavy rushed footsteps and there Jeno was in all his muscled glory; again, in athleisure and panting as if he ran a marathon just to see if his hunch was right.
“Talk to him,” Mark gritted before his face brightened with a capitalistic grin that would usually fool almost everyone and whirled around to greet Jeno with a dialed up amount of enthusiasm. “Hey, buddy! What’s up?”
Jeno was nonplussed by this, his gaze still stuck on you which granted a sinking feeling in your stomach when he didn’t do anything else. No smile, no nothing and Mark didn’t seem to pick up on the growing tension. That, or he simply just chose not to acknowledge it, making nice out of self-preservation.
“You look great!” It was kind of painful watching Mark acting as the buffer, yet unknowingly stall Jeno and the impending doom of talking to him. “Strong! You look strong—” as Mark said this, he gave Jeno’s bicep a friendly slap, only for him to reel it back almost a half second later with wide eyes. “Uh, well! I was just leaving—girlfriend’s looking for me so… bye!”
And there he went, leaving you to fend for yourself, but not before giving you a pointed look over Jeno’s shoulder that clearly said ‘fix this, or else’.
Or else, you huffed, Mark Lee couldn’t even hurt a fly—
“You’re home,” Jeno said, tone soft as ever despite the clear ire that was starting to bubble up to the surface from the way you caught his jaw clench. That didn’t stop your pettiness from taking over, however, making a sour face as you turned away from him to grab your favorite mug out of the cupboard.
“What an amazing observation,” you said with the same amount of excitement a school teacher would have if they were to be condescending. “Would you like a gold star?”
“I was worried,” and Jeno, ever the one to not rise to the bait shamelessly dangling right in front of his face, kept his voice even. “You left my texts on read. You didn’t return any of my calls.”
“Wow! It’s almost like I don’t want to talk to you,” you snapped, “‘worried’ my ass. You know damn well I left because of you, so you don’t get to act like I’m in the wrong when—“
Jeno cuts you off with a stern call of your name, like he’s had enough. Of what, exactly? As far as you knew, you were simply telling him the truth of the matter: he drove you away because one stubborn part of Jeno Lee refused to listen and admit that he was in the wrong.
Slowly, you twisted your neck to hit Jeno with the most chilling look known to man-kind as the familiar sensation of anger caused each of your muscles to stiffen. The one thing that kept you from tackling him to the ground was the abashed furrow of Jeno’s eyebrows and his downturned lips. He genuinely looked guilty. As guilty as a man could be from getting as much action as a blunt getting passed around a frat-party, but sadly for him, peace was never an option.
He could cry for forgiveness all he wanted and you’d only think of ways to make him cry even harder.
“Look,” Jeno began, eyes fluttering closed and breathing out a heavy sigh. “I just don’t understand why you had to go this far? Avoiding me for two weeks straight—I was worried,” he reiterated, eyes opening just for them to narrow accusingly. “I didn’t know where you were. Mark refused to tell me since ‘it wasn’t his business’—“ and honestly, if this were any other situation, you would have laughed at Jeno’s piss-poor imitation of Mark and the exaggerated air quotes. “—and I had to find out from Donghyuck, of all people, that you were staying with them!”
This was a first. Jeno was never one to completely lose his cool. Always the milder one between you both who knew how to keep his temper in check. Jeno was calm in every sense of the word, with placid smiles and solemn nods—composed even in the most dire of situations where tensions were high. A stark contrast to how you weren’t afraid of baring your teeth to let people know how you felt, swinging your emotions around as if they were a weapon.
Clearly, the Jeno that stood in front of you bore none of that. He was visibly upset—by what could be considered as ghosting him for two weeks straight, which would have been longer if Jeno had come later in the evening. You were starting to believe that the universe simply hated you to the point of cutting the streak.
You stayed quiet, letting your scowl do all the talking.
Jeno pinched his nose bridge. “I’m sorry I slept with Jimin, alright? It’ll never happen again if that’s what you want.”
“Oh my God,” you exclaimed as you shut the cupboard harsher than intended, moving to head for the coffee machine. He still didn’t get it and you’ll need the extra caffeine in your system for this.
“This is not about you sleeping with Jimin! This is about you crossing lines I specifically told you not to cross! How about you try having someone’s life in your hands? My job isn’t a walk in the park, Jeno. I need to be alert. I need to have my head set on straight, but clearly, I can’t have any of that because I have to hear you fucking the next person who looks at you! If any of my patients die, it’s on you. If I lose my job because I let a patient die, it’s on you—why won’t this fucking thing work!”
Your last straw might as well be the shitty coffee machine proving, once again, how shitty it was. You were half-tempted to unplug the thing and chuck it at his head.
God, you were so fucking angry. The two weeks away from home was the semblance of peace you had desperately needed after almost jeopardizing an angioplasty case with Dr. Jung when you caught yourself handing the wrong type of suture he asked for. It was only luck that you were stuck with one of the more approachable surgeons from cardio, letting you off with a lighthearted ‘wake up’ as Dr. Jung gestured for the right one.
Jeno reached over, pressing down on a button while tilting his head. “Are you done?” He said along the low whir of the coffee machine, evidently trying not to laugh.
The minty waft of his breath hit your face and it was then did you notice how close he had gotten. Your toes almost touching as you blinked up to meet his eyes, confused at how fucking fast he got all up in your space while you ranted.
You scowled harder. “Yeah,” and wow, you knew Jeno was one of the few lucky ones who grew to be tall. Height was one of the obvious physical advantages he had, but when put into perspective, having him like this—almost chest to chest—made a huge difference. You felt so small underneath Jeno’s imposing dead-eyed stare as if he was gauging his prey; a silent dare for you to make one sudden move knowing he’d catch you in the end after playing with you for a little, one way or another. “Yeah, I’m done.”
A small smile tugged on his lips. “Less work for me then.”
“Huh?”
Jeno dipped his head so quickly that it took you a second or two to register his lips pressing against yours.
Jeno Lee. The very same Jeno Lee you imagined exploding in your head too many times to the point you grew bored of the gory image enough to consider telepathically saying I hope you get chlamydia I hope you get chlamydia I hope you get chlamydia until it takes and manifests in real life, was kissing you. This was far from the initial possible outcome you would expect in light of the cold war wedging a gap between you that the backasswards had all higher functions of your brain—and possibly the one that had telepathy locked away forever—shut down when he angled his head to press deeper, as if to coax you into becoming an active participant.
The only options left for you to consider were: a.) kiss him back b.) kiss him back since it became crystal clear that whatever method of psychological warfare Jeno waged wasn’t worth stopping. For reference, option b was the obvious choice. The emphasis, the drama of it all complemented your own flair for dramatics and you would rather drop dead than let Jeno have the upper hand. And maybe because you were insane, choosing anything but resolving the issue with a proper talk, and good lord can the man kiss.
It’s his lips, you thought bitterly, lips of plump and petal-pink goodness melding against your own slightly chapped pair that rendered you uncharacteristically pliant.
Normally, you were anything but, though it was a little rewarding to know that Jeno was losing it just as much; the finesse to his methods gradually chipping away along the push and pull of your mouths with the delicious burden of his weight pressing you against the counter to have more than just a taste. A small window was open for some lucidity to seep in, that being Jeno’s forethought of wriggling a hand in between the edge of the counter top and your back so it wouldn’t jab at your spine as the other cupped your jaw, shuddering when his pinky brushed along a sensitive spot behind your ear.
Jeno smiled at this. You felt him smile at this, but you were still stuck on the oddly sweet gesture that you thought to show some gratitude by returning the same level of eagerness Jeno had, suckling and biting down on his bottom lip. At his whine, you promptly soothed the spot with a languid swipe of your tongue and did it all over again. Not that he minded. You could practically tell just how excited he was; all bricked up and prodding the softness of your belly, and he didn’t seem to be embarrassed by it at all. You didn’t think he would be when he had quite the package. 
“I’ve always wanted to do that.”
There’s a wry grin tugging at his lips when you both parted for some air. “All I could think about was shutting you up every single time you bitch at me.” He regained the closeness just to brush his lips against your cheek, sighing almost in a dreamy-like manner that you were half-tempted to back out. “You’re so cute when you’re angry.”
“Don’t piss me off,” you settled on saying instead as a warning, yet let Jeno—taking it as a cue—lift you up and place you on top of the counter without any struggle that you didn’t even try to hide the fact that the display of Jeno’s raw strength was doing it for you. An infuriatingly attractive feat and you supposed your thought on the matter translated on your face well enough if Jeno’s cheeky grin was anything to go by.
Still, the spread of your legs was no less inviting, something Jeno found funny as he snickered to himself before taking the space in between them for you to wind your arms around his sturdy shoulders and pull him down for another kiss. Mostly to shut him up. Yes, definitely to shut him up.
Jeno parted from you again with an audible smack, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on your waist. “Personally—”
You groaned, “oh here we go.”
“Personally,” Jeno tried again, ignoring your yelp when he gave a playful pinch to your skin. “I still think that you’re so pent up that everything annoys you—like me having a healthy sex-life, for example.”
This was it. This was definitely rock-bottom. You were finally in the trenches that you’re entertaining an actual conversation relating to Jeno’s fixation of sticking his dick into willing holes more times than you could count. Oh, and the fact that you were starting to become a little self-conscious from not getting any forms of sex on the regular unlike mister casanova over here.
You hit him with a dubious look. “Where are you even going with this?”
Jeno let out a low hum in lieu of an actual answer and pulled you forward as if he wasn’t already up in your space, the tip of his strong nose gently grazing yours, his lips doing pretty much the same thing too: a gentle brush against your own twitchy pair when he murmured, “don’t you want to let off a little steam? I can help. I want to help.”
And that rightfully stumped you. Not because it was the second time he propositioned you, with the first being more of a joke than anything, but how Jeno actually came off genuine this time around. Not a trace of the smugness could be found either. Just unbridled zeal that being scrutinized by the darkness of Jeno’s gaze birthed a familiar simmering of—horrifyingly enough—want beneath your navel.
There was an argument that could be made here. Where the stubborn part of you could simply claim that it was your curiosity coming into play—wanting to see for yourself if what Mark (and the girls) had said about Jeno was true; that there was a reason why Jeno’s roster was seemingly never ending. You could do that. Though, if anyone were to walk in right now, you didn’t think the compromising position would help in any way when you were quite literally entangled with each other.
Likewise, It didn’t really help that the wretched gremlin burrowing in the debased parts of your brain wanted Jeno Lee so much that you damn near salivated when the man bared more of his neck as a silent ‘go ahead’ for you to ravage the smooth skin with reds, blues and purples with your teeth. You’ve come to terms with the fact that you were attracted to Jeno that it honestly made you stupid enough to have a taste once the chance presented itself, surprisingly, without wishing an aneurysm upon yourself. 
But you weren’t going to give in that easily. You could just raise that having first hand experience with whatever Jeno had to offer was all for the sake of research and to prove your point.
That’s all that it was. That’s all that it will be; a case study for you. Nothing more, nothing less.
Jeno squeaked out his confusion when you ended up having his cheeks squished between your fingers and thumb right when he tried going in for another kiss, causing his lips to pucker out even more.
“What makes you think I’ll let you fuck me?” 
You dug your fingers into his skin harder as a warning when he tested his luck again.
It’s almost comical watching Jeno stiffen in your hold, making a show of gathering enough distance for him to look right into your eyes.
Then Jeno smiled something placid, yet the glimmer in his eyes told you otherwise. You felt so seen that you wanted to curl into yourself so he wouldn’t have to pick you apart with his steely gaze alone. In that moment, you were prey at the mercy of an apex predator just waiting to strike.
“Is that a challenge?” Jeno asked, even-tempered, irritatingly enough.
“And what if it is?” your fingers tangled themselves in the smooth dark blue strands and tugged gently. “Scared that you’ll lose?”
Jeno’s smile widened.
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If there was one thing to take away from all of this, it was to never test the limits of a Taurus man’s patience.
Or else you’d end up in a position where your strength—or lack thereof—would be tested; or else you’d end up restless in between Jeno’s spread legs, one of his arms slung down the length of your torso as a seat belt and anchoring you down to his chest while three of his nimble fingers pistoned in and out of your sopping cunt. It was a fight with an obvious outcome of you losing by a landslide with his death grip around you, but you couldn’t help but squirm when he was so good at making you feel delirious just from his fingers making a mess of where you ached the most.
Fingers that were longer and thicker, reaching deeper than yours ever could. With Jeno, it took him no time at all to have you crying out from his digits nudging that sensitive spot within your silken walls, and the same fingers decidedly pulled out without any warning with an impossibly wet sound just for Jeno to switch his attention towards your clit, fingers flicking sideways in quick succession. This urged an immediate reaction, you letting out a shuddering cry as one of your hands shot out to lock tightly around his wrist.
Your head spun at Jeno’s gentle hushing as you twitched in his embrace. Tender words easily slipping past his full lips in conjunction with his almost rough treatment had your body wounding tighter and tighter as the divide between pleasure and pain gradually flattened to gossamer thin with each pass of Jeno’s fingers across your clit. 
He played you like a fiddle, like he knew exactly what to do in drawing out a pleasure filled song from within you until the barrier ripped, sobbing wetly into the air as you and your resolve shattered into pieces with Jeno’s constricting hold around your quivering form kept you from breaking completely.
When you came to, Jeno’s voice was the first thing you latched onto, bringing you back to full lucidity; gentle as he talked you through what was probably the most intense, toe-curling orgasm from being finger-banged on the couch, of all places.
Jeno breathed out a mixed noise of surprise and amazement. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
And it was when you felt the familiar warm and wet trickle from your pussy down to your ass did you finally let the humiliation set it: you’ve let Jeno finger you on the couch, soaking his shorts and the couch as evidence.
You wanted to die.
“Yeah, well, It’s not like I tell everybody I can,” you panted, hissing when Jeno’s hand curiously trailed down to assess the mess, middle and ring finger slipping between your vulva then dipping shallowly into you and rewarding himself with a whine. Uncomfortable as it was to move your neck at this angle, you wouldn’t miss the chance to glare at him. “like—‘hi! I’m this and that, and I can squirt!—do you know how deranged that sounds?”
“I dunno, I know I‘d be impressed. Intrigued. Maybe even ask for a demo—”
“Jeno.”
“Kidding! I’m kidding,” Jeno snickered as he retracted his fingers, only to stick them into his mouth with a pleased hum, like it was the tastiest thing he’s ever had in his life. “What?” He asked, muffled from suckling on his fingers still, when he caught you gawking at him, completely mortified by the shameless sweep of his tongue around his digits.
You wanted to cry. “You’re a fucking freak.”
“Oh princess, this is nothing,” Jeno finally freed is mouth of the visual torture, a broad grin stretching spit-slick lips when he, again, took in your visceral reaction towards being called princess. He’s so annoying. You verbalized the thought and the fucker just laughed. “Call me a freak again when I ask you to soak my face,” he said, voice sweet, wincing slightly when he held your cheeks, with damp fingers and all. Freak. “Or would you like it better if I beg instead? I’m flexible. I’ll do anything you want.”
Never mind, that was much much worse. Holy fuck. The visual in your head did nothing but spur you on even further no matter the aftermath of a thigh shaking release taking its effects now.
“Stop talking,” you groaned. “please, just shut up.”
“Okay.” Jeno giggled. Giggled, like he wasn’t an insane person delighting himself to your bodily fluids just a few seconds ago. Then to add insult to injury, he pressed a tender kiss to your temple. “Think you can go another round?” 
So he made you cum once—squirt, for that matter, but that’s, like, whatever when you were capable of doing that on your own. You had plenty of time figuring out what you liked best in this realm of preferences and for all you knew, Mark was simply fucking with you—just like the other girls probably were—as some sick elaborate joke, and Jeno was simply overcompensating for the sake of his ego with their help.
“Just… give me a few. I’m starting to go deaf.” Well, not really. It felt more like there was cotton stuffed into your ears, your own voice sounding muffled and faraway. Although you weren’t new to the feeling, it wasn’t common either and it was especially new that another person was able to render you into this sluggish version of yourself.
He sucked in a breath. “Was it that good that you’ve gone temporarily deaf?”
Other than that, then came the numbing of your scalp. You’ve read about this once, a product from genuine curiosity after a little moment of freaking the fuck out, thinking you were about to die from cumming too hard to the point of losing circulation up there in your brain. And—no you weren’t dying, though it would be an interesting way to go.
You followed up with this just as the blunt edges of his fingernails lightly scratched at your scalp. “I literally can’t feel that except a slight pressure—and don’t get too cocky. This happens to me when I get myself off too.”
Jeno didn’t get even a second of gloating before you started rambling about the possibilities of why this happens with a basic rundown of the nervous system (rapid increase in heart rate and blood pressure) and completely disregarding the stiff outline of Jeno’s pride pressing snugly into the cleft of your bare ass cheeks.
He felt just as hard as he was when you sucked faces in the kitchen. Warm. Big, that you had no idea if the shakes you were getting now was out of fear for Jeno’s cock potentially rearranging your guts to the point of no return, or out of anticipation from that possibly happening. Though what was more shocking was Jeno maintaining some sort of chivalrous streak, staying where he was and putting your pleasure first before his own when he could pretty much turn the tides and have his way with you.
But like a dog being told to stay for a promised treat, Jeno doesn’t do anything, besides soothing you with absentminded caresses here and there while he listened.
At least that’s how you thought this slip in judgment was going to end right until Jeno picked you up in one fell swoop, abruptly—and rudely—cutting you off from the build up towards a detailed spiel of a hypothesis to instead let out an undignified yelp of surprise. He hauled you up without any visible struggle and it was doing horrible horrible things to your psyche.
“Seriously, Jeno,” you exclaimed, grunting when he wrangled you onto your knees, your chest pressed down onto the coffee table as if you were nothing but a doll he gets to twist and bend for his own entertainment. “Were you even listening?”
“Uh huh—something about the temporary effects of an orgasm to the nervous system,” he trailed off at the same time his fingers grazed your skin while rucking up your pullover, just high enough that you shivered against the cool glass surface. “I’ll be honest with you, Human Biology wasn’t exactly interesting to me, but the little science session was cute.”
The glass was doing wonders in cooling down your cheek.
This was the second time he has called you cute. So casually too that you started to think that maybe Jeno had a thing for embarrassing you, see you squirm, whine, make a fool out of yourself—overall, make your life more difficult than it already was.
“Dick,” you quipped, all too weak to actually mean it and Jeno seemed to get the memo, offering a short laugh. “do I have to fit a certain criteria to do this in your bedroom?” you followed, mustering up some strength to glare at him over your shoulder, only to falter when you found Jeno was rather preoccupied with something else.
It’s no secret that Jeno was simply born with a resting face so sweet and unassuming that there was this perceived notion of him not having a mean bone inside that clean-cut body of his. That Jeno wasn’t capable of dishing out noteworthy comebacks aimed at the ego. 
Sure, he could be unaware at times (as per his loud sex problem), but you couldn’t deny the simple truth that Jeno could be nice—is nice. So nice. Sweet even, that the expression crossing his face was just as honeyed and becoming more so the longer he stayed kneeling there, raking his eyes over your half-naked form bent to compliance. It wasn’t the blatant leering that got to you though, but more of how Jeno looked doing it. Who knew the mole smack dab in the middle of your back could be adored this much?
There’s a faint smile tugging on his lips. Miniscule, barely there—still a smile, nonetheless, as he traced the length of your back with his eyes, his large hands essentially doing the same: mapping the entirety of your torso for his own indulgence until he got his fill; warm palms gluing to the soft dips of your waist, all the while his face twisted where it gave the impression he was seeing what was front of him for the very first time.
You looked away, face hotter than it was before.
Whatever that was seemed too private of a moment to witness. It felt intimate—the way his eyes drank in your body—too intimate for a ‘one and done’ thing that you seriously couldn’t wait to get fucked and put an end to this hands-on case study of Jeno’s whore-ish tendencies.
“So no bedroom, then,” you said, hoping it would snap Jeno out of it.
“Sorry, princess.” And, to be fair, Jeno did sound apologetic for a man that was about to get his dick wet for the umpteenth time. You gave him points for trying, then docked off some because princess. Really? “I don’t think I can make the trip to my bedroom. Need to fuck you now or else my dick will fall off.”
You closed your eyes, dropping your chin forward far enough that your forehead met the glass surface with a dull thunk.
So much for thinking he was sweet during a moment. It’s like the more he opened his mouth, the more he inched away from the polite friend-of-a-friend gym-bro who probably helped grandmas cross the street.
“Ugh—fuck you.”
“Mm, yeah.” You stopped counting the last time you had fallen into bed with someone else, and you were starting to think that it has probably been a while; if the brush of spandex against your skin from Jeno fumbling behind to drag his shorts just low enough for his cock to spring free has you completely losing it. Jesus, this was embarrassing. “You’re about to.”
You scoffed, “corny.”
Jeno didn’t deign the cattiness with an answer and instead let his growing impatience speak for itself, kneeing your thighs further apart and shuffling closer until your sharp intake of breath pierced through the once still air when the sticky head of his cock prodded at your hole.
“Any time now.”
Trying to sound unaffected was truly a Sisyphean task. You couldn’t help it, really. Being snarky came natural to you, though if Jeno could tell you were just talking your shit to cover up your impatience, he did nothing about it and went about with teasing you, dragging his length back and forth against your slit.
“I’m literally becoming dryer the longer you keep this up.”
That got a reaction out of him this time, letting out an incredulous laugh, “there’s no way of shutting you up, is there?”
“I don’t know, you can try hard—” whatever else that was supposed to follow immediately died at the tip of your tongue, gasping at the sudden intrusion.
“Oh! Well that’s one way.”
Another version of Jeno in your head just died of spontaneous combustion. You could literally hear him smile. Smiley bastard.
It was intense for sure. As intense as it could be after a stupidly long dry spell that you genuinely felt as though you were reborn a fucking virgin and made the mistake of picking the very guy with a third leg for a dick to pop your cherry. If the head of his cock breaching your pussy had you this frenzied, who knew what the actual thing could do to your actively deteriorating sanity? And—well, you were about to find out, weren’t you?
The reality of it all hit you like a freight train, the groan Jeno breathed out sounded so loud even over the mechanical drone of the air conditioner when he pushed deeper into you.
“Jen—oh my God—wait—” You reached behind to grab onto Jeno’s ass cheek at breakneck speed. A grave mistake, really, because in what you would hope could have stopped Jeno from basically splitting you into two, you unintentionally helped him plug you up. Your nails dug into his flesh as a result.
“Careful with the claws,” he hissed. “They actually hurt.”
“Yeah?” He yelped when you squeezed his ass tighter, his own hand holding onto yours to stop you from doing actual damage. “Try getting impaled by a dick, dickhead.”
Jeno went rigid. “You’ve had sex before, right?”
“Yes?” You looked at him like he was stupid over your shoulder and—all gods above. He already looked fucked out. Cheeks pink, skin shining with sweat (when did he take his shirt off?) and eyes darker from how blown out his pupils were—you know, maybe you weren’t too far off from the thought. “But unlike you, I don’t fuck the next thing that breathes my way.”
“Wow,” Jeno huffed. “Clearly I’m doing something wrong if you’re still running your mouth.”
You had a long history of letting your mouth run before your brain could even decipher if what you had to say would be ideal for the situation. To get out of it, though, was a completely different story and with how things are unfolding, yeah, maybe you bit off more than you could chew.
“No, no—shh, it’s okay. You're okay,” Jeno soothed just as you squirmed, trying to relax. “You're doing so good for me. Just breathe, yeah? Jus’ a little more—oh, fuck.” The guttural groan coincided with the squeak you let out once Jeno shoved himself balls deep into you with a faint slap of skin, clenching around him.
Out of all the men you’ve been with in the past, it took you the longest to adjust around Jeno’s girth. Not only because you simply did not have the time to fuck around, but he really was huge in the sense that he was somehow hitting places that you didn’t even know were there. He truly was the biggest you’ve taken in a while and it was a relief that you had the day off tomorrow and the day after; plenty of time to recover. The thought of having to explain getting railed over your coffee table to the point you were walking funny was mortifying enough as it is.
“This is so much better than hearing you bitch and moan, seriously. Sometimes I start thinking you just want me to hate you.” Jeno didn’t look like he was capable of hating anything if he tried, though with the way his hips drilled mercilessly into you, maybe a tiny part of him could. If pushed right. “And you complain so damn much about the noise when you’re no better. Can you hear how fuckin’ loud you are now?”
You didn’t even realize Jeno was still holding onto the hand that seemed to permanently glue itself onto his barely-there ass cheek until he took your joined hands—fingers laced and all—to migrate beside your head. Right in front of your face and, somehow, it felt like an insult.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Jeno Lee,” you moaned and squeezed his hand at a particularly hard thrust jostling you forward. “Fuck you and your useless big dick.”
Jeno snickered. You still called him big, so he’ll take that as a win. “My dick is one of those things and it’s not useless.”
Jeno didn’t really mind how loud you actually were. In fact, he liked it. A lot. Liked hearing how good he was making you feel with each drag of his cock within your warm and slick insides. Liked knowing that he was the reason why you were so lost in your own song of pleasure as you fucked back onto him with all you’ve got when he stopped all his movements to see what you would do and goodness, were you a sight for sore eyes. And Jeno was glad to witness all of this.
You were truly a fantasy come to life. Something he’d never would expect to touch, to mold and to feel in his own hands.
Watching you take what you wanted with no complaints was not an expected outcome—hell, having sex with you wasn’t what Jeno was hoping to get from tonight at all. Talking would have been just fine, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Of course not. Not when you were putting up a show, fueled by your own greed for pleasure, for him and him alone and he could tell all that pent-up stress was starting to seep out the more the back of your thighs met his.
Jeno was a patient man for sure. He was known for it at work. When it came to his diligent daily visits to the gym just two blocks away. When it came to living life in general; yet somehow, you were part of the minute collective that was able to test that until there was nothing left of it and as much as Jeno loved seeing you like this; desperate enough for cock that doing all the work was no problem, he quickly grew bored being a spectator.
There was also you threatening the safety of his skull if he didn’t get a move on to fuck you harder. Jeno only let out an amused snort at this, thinking it was cute and leaned forward so you were chest to back.
“I hoped for a second you’d be begging,” he mumbled into your nape. “you’re something else, aren’t you?”
“Fuck me, or I’ll make sure you’ll never get to fuck anyone else ever again.”
Well.
You did make a compelling argument, and just like how this all went, Jeno followed and delivered.
It was made very clear to you that his muscles weren’t just for show because unlike you, he possessed an insane amount of core strength that it barely dented his stamina when he lifted you up a couple of inches above the coffee table. Your joined hands came in clutch for balance while his free hand acted like a necklace loosely wrapped around your throat so Jeno could kiss you as his hips regained momentum.
Kissing gradually became less of a thing and more of just you both breathing into each other’s mouths, completely taken over by the sheer pleasure of it all. Normally, you’d avoid his eyes if you could, but you were so far gone that you didn’t mind staring into the endless pits of Jeno’s hooded stare. His thrusts slowed down, yet they were more deliberate than ever that it took all of your leftover energy to not say anything stupid like how this change in angle and pace had Jeno plunging in so deep that you could almost feel him in your throat.
“‘m close,” he rasped, hand on your neck tightening a smidge as his movements steadily increased in speed. “How about another one from you, huh? On my cock this time?”
You could only sound a shaky hum and that was enough of an answer for him.
Heated and damp skin met the glass surface once more and Jeno’s cock snugly fit inside of you again with little to no resistance. It was almost the same as how you started out. The only difference was your navel pressing firmly against the table by your still joined hands pushing down onto your back.
Time wasn’t wasted at all and that change alone fully intensified the sensation of Jeno’s girth drilling into you like he was trying so hard to carve a space that he could only fill, even more so when you wriggled and squared your hips to take him in better. It made so much of a difference that your eyes rolled back into your skull as mindless pleasured noises spilled past your lips, your grip around his fingers growing tighter that it hurt your own.
The second wave of your orgasm encroached at a dangerously fast pace from the oversensitivity earlier and the consistency of Jeno’s perfectly timed jackhammering thrusts hitting the tender spot within you, forcing out tinny ah ah ahs out of you as you clenched around him from how mind-numbingly amazing this was, being underneath Jeno’s weight.
It’s been too fucking long that the delirious part of your brain, completely compromised by the rush of dopamine and oxytocin from cumming for the second time entertained the idea of keeping Jeno buried in you long enough until your insides molded around each ridge and vein of Jeno’s cock for the perfect fit. You’ve never felt this full in your life. Even the frantic pistoning of Jeno’s hips aided by the wet gush of slick didn’t shatter the illusion. The feeling of cotton stuffed into your ears came back tenfold.
“Close,” Jeno rasped. “Where—where?”
“Pull out,” you said, all too winded to add that you were on the pill, but you didn’t want to take your chances. Apparently the tension was that bad that none of you had the forethought of using a condom. Your minds were so clouded that critical thinking was impossible, but what’s done was done.
Jeno pulled out with a slick sound, followed by a shaky moan that grew louder and louder with each stroke of his cock, leaving you to whine from the loss (wow, you were so out of it). Warm cum splattered onto the sweat-damp skin of your back and for once, you didn’t have the heart or energy to complain about the sticky mess
Click.
Your eyes shot open. “Did you just take a photo of me?”
“Yeah,” Jeno said. “You look good like this. Pretty. Wanted to have something to jerk off too.”
He could have just stopped at pretty. “You’re gross. You aren’t going to show that to anybody else, are you?” 
“Don’t worry, I don’t like sharing and I actually value my life.”
You could only groan in response, sagging more against the now moist surface of the glass as if you were trying to merge yourself with it, feeling the after effects of Jeno trying to fuck the life out of you.
“I think I’m going to die.”
Jeno responded in kind with a sweet laugh, letting go of your hand. It didn’t even register that you still had your fingers intertwined up until he let go, and tempted as you were to lift yourself up and see what kind of face he was making now that he left his mark on you, you were genuinely too exhausted to do that.
“That good, huh?” His hands returned to your hips, squeezing them gently. “I told you so.”
With the last bit of your strength, you kicked at his thigh.
“Okay, let’s get you up.” He swiped his discarded shirt up from the floor to wipe away the cum before lifting you up by the armpits so you’re on your knees, settling your weight onto your calves as he watched your pullover delicately fall into place and cover up most of your skin. Your own name on his tongue sounded so far away to you. “—hey. You still with me?”
There’s a hum as a response and that’s it. Not only did he end up fucking all the stress and tension out of you, there goes half of your life, too. Gravity took over and you fell right into his chest with your head cushioned by his bare shoulder, eyes glazed over.
“How does a bath sound?”
You nodded, letting your eyes slip closed as Jeno adjusted your slumped form to carry you.
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Jeno almost jumped out of his skin when your phone rang.
“Hello?” Jeno said quietly after scrambling for it on your side of his bed, looking over his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t woken you up. He didn’t think you had granted him the perk to simply barge into your room just yet, so he had you clothed in one of his sleep shirts and a pair of new boxer shorts as you dozed away.
“Jeno? Why do you have her phone? Did you kill her before she killed you?”
“No.” That made him worry. How often did you tell anyone who’d happily lend an ear that you’d murder him in cold blood? Whatever, hopefully after tonight, things will smoothen out. “She’s asleep right now. She won’t be heading back over there tonight.” Or ever, he thought.
“Oh?” Jaemin sounded excited for a second, then turned suspicious. “Why? Did she forgive you yet?”
Jeno let the question marinate for a moment, weighing the benefits of letting one of the nosiest people he knew in on his business. A loud snort followed by some mumbling startled him and Jeno craned his neck to find you now facing his side of the bed, still asleep with your mouth parted in a darling little ‘o’. There’s drool at the corner of your mouth. You’ve never looked cuter.
“Define… forgive.”
For once, Jaemin, surprisingly, was rather quick on the uptake “Oho? You two fucked it out, didn’t you?” When Jeno didn’t answer right away, Jaemin gasped. “Jeno, you dog!”
His cackling caused Jeno’s cheeks to flush an impossible red. “Don’t make it weird!”
“You made it weird the second you decide to sleep with her. Besides, we’re all adults here! I promise I won’t tell my third unofficial roommate“—Jeno wished he could reach through the phone right now and choke the life out of him—“that you told me. Tell me everything. Down to the nastiest detail—Hyuck! Oh my God, you’re home just in time. Guess what—“
“I’m coming by and getting the rest of her stuff in a bit.” The whining fell deaf onto Jeno’s ears. “Goodbye, Jaemin.”
He hung up, gently sliding your phone underneath the pillow you’re using. Actually, maybe you'd let him in your good graces if he went to fetch your charger.
Just when he thought peace and quiet had finally been attained, his own phone started buzzing from an onslaught of messages.
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Hyuck: U GUYS FUCKED????? Hyuck: WITHOUT ME??? Hyuck: NO FAIR 😭😭😭😭
Jaemin: OR ME??? Jaemin: spare coochie plz 🥺🤲🏼
Hyuck: was there a tape at least 😔
Jaemin: 👀
Jeno: I hope she kills you both when I show her these.
Jeno set his phone to ‘Do Not Disturb’ and tossed it carelessly onto his nightstand.
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This was not your room.
With each toss and turn, it still smelt like man, which wasn’t completely awful. It’s a rather pleasant scent; fresh, not too overwhelming on the citrus notes and something woodsy and floral binding everything together. A little too summery when it was currently in the middle of autumn, but you supposed you were in no position to judge when you’ve been using the same perfume since high school.
All in all, it was still nice. If not a little off-putting, not waking up entangled in your linen sheets which was starkly different from how your usual mornings went, yet the exhaustion was what kept you from making a huge fuss. At least Jeno's room didn't harbor the aesthetics of anything from the r/malelivingspace subreddit. Jeno's room was rather nice. Clean. Neat. Evident that a man lived here.
Apart from the abrupt change, there was also the bone-deep soreness serving as a heavy reminder of the aftermath of your decision to sleep with the very same person who took it from you.
And how ironic that he was also the reason why you slept so well last night too.
What a way to end your so-called case study with you as the punchline, really and—fine, maybe Jeno did have the room to boast his admittedly exceptional stroke game. Maybe Jeno knew how to make people cum and it was a fluke that he made you, too. Twice. Maybe Jeno earned his merit of being an expert in the field of sex then.
Your lips wobbled, frowning at Jeno’s ceiling.
This was literally the worst discovery of your life. Being a test subject yourself to see if Jeno’s reputation had preceded him didn’t make it any less horrifying. How could you return to normalcy after this?
You buried your face into one of Jeno’s many pillows and screamed.
Luckily, he hadn’t caught wind of your morning breakdown.
After freshening up in the bathroom, you quietly made your way towards the spacious kitchen, assuming it’s where Jeno was, albeit slowly as each step you took made the ache in between your thighs more pronounced. He had his back to you, bare of anything besides the tight boxer briefs and the frilly pink apron shielding his torso from the splattering oil cinched around his waist.
Jeno Lee painted the very picture of temptation in this current moment. Jacked all to hell, complementing his god-like proportions that showed off his slutty waist women alike would die to have and a striking face that could start wars. But out of everything, your gaze lingered on his barely-there ass wondering if your nails did leave any stinging marks that Jeno would feel for days.
“Oh, hey. You’re up—were you staring at my ass?”
From his behind, you immediately stuck your eyes onto something else less suspicious—like the geometric light fixture just above his head you once hoped would knock him out one day.
“No I wasn’t,” you said, keeping your voice even. “Can’t stare at anything that isn’t even there.”
“Hey!” Jeno whined. “I do have an ass!”
“And I have a dick,” you shot right back and made your way towards where the shitty coffee machine was. Just a few paces away from where Jeno stood. “See how easy it is to lie?”
He sighed. “How come you have an answer for everything?”
You cracked your first smile of the morning. Smug, if anything, but a smile nonetheless. “You just make it so easy.”
“Damn, so even the sex wasn’t enough,” Jeno muttered as he flipped a pancake with an effortless flick of the wrist. “How many rounds will it take for you to forgive me?”
“Zero.” If looks could kill, Jeno would have burst into flames by now. “Is sex all you think about?”
“I can think of other things…” he trailed off, giving you a quick glance with a sweet moue on his lips. “most of my thoughts are of you, so…” Jeno turned to you fully, his eyes gaining a hopeful shine.
That shocked a short laugh out of you in spite of yourself, shaking your head as you marched for the cupboard. “Nice try, big guy—and the sex?” You shot him a quick glance over your shoulder. “You can forget about it.”
“Okay.”
You looked at him again. Jeno was now frying eggs with his face devoid of everything but concentration.
“I still hate you,” you added, loudly.
The sunny side-up eggs slipped cleanly onto a large plate. “Mhm.”
“It was a one time thing.” Somehow his lack of a reaction was slowly getting to you. “It’s not happening again. Ever. I’m not having sex with you again. Ever.”
“Yeah, I got you the first time.”
“Good.”
“Great.”
“Perfect.” You harrumped, making a quick grab for your favorite mug before coming face-to-face with your stupid ass coffee machine.
This was not your stupid ass coffee machine.
What sat in place of the old piece of junk Granny had given you as a housewarming gift (after expressing her concern for your possible caffeine addiction) was a newer model you were pretty sure most, if not all, lifestyle influencers had displayed in their meticulously curated coffee corner. This was built mostly for convenience and to fit into the current trend of aesthetics, no wonder you couldn’t get it to work last night. Muscle memory had you pressing the wrong button.
Slowly, you pried your trembling eyes from the brand-spanking-new replacement to watch your roommate in his element, completely unaware of you currently going through the greatest shock of your life, and back.
You looked closer. There was a Post-It stuck onto the side.
I’m sorry (.◜ᯅ◝) — your asshole roommate.
Jeno bought you a new coffee machine.
“Hey Jen?” you called softly after a full minute of inner deliberation.
Jeno hummed his acknowledgement. He even fried the bacon just how you liked it. There’s no way you couldn’t forgive him now. You were mean, sure, but you weren’t evil. Why did he have to be so nice?
“Can you show me how the coffee machine works?” Then, just as quietly, you added: “please?”
He turned to look at you with the most brilliant smile as he killed the fire.
“Yeah. Of course.”
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Mark (ER): so did you two talk yet Mark (ER): ..hellooooo Mark (ER): did you kill him 😟
You: no? tf
Mark (ER): so u guys r good now or
You: 👍🏼👍🏼
Mark (ER): omg TWO thumbs ups 😀 Mark (ER): are u bffs now ??? Mark (ER): i was here first btw
You: go bother ur gf omg??????
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a/n: *taps mic* ...hello is this thing on? First things first, thank you so much for reading until the end! Originally, this was supposed to come out as a full one-shot, but life has been all sorts of crazy that I simply haven't had enough time to work on this fic as much as I would have liked to. And upon realized it has been so fucking long since I've posted the teaser, I decided to just split it into two parts to get something out, so I truly apologize for the very long wait! I do hope you enjoyed the read and please please let me know your thoughts on it <3
bonus of me going thru it in our chat lovingly named 'en-ct':
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TAGLIST: @jaylaxies @hoondrop @justalildumpling @dammit-jjk @learnthisfeeling @90s-belladonna @rjreins @pinknjm @kshynj @dorkyji @notevenheretbh1 @everytimeicrymytearsdonteverdry @iscocohere @seulkikiii @wintahh @peachesmilk @rxnexxi @rum-gone-why @bluedbliss @tiramisubox @jinxxdreamz @minkyuncutie @txnml @yawnzshit @suhwife @carelessshootanonymous @sanctify-mp3 @haechansbbg @dreamiestay @ryuvrsie @derywinkle @byungbyungbaek @surrealxox
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777heavengirl ¡ 3 months ago
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Bless the Telephone ; ##04
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James Potter x f!muggle!reader
word count: 1,163
warnings: none?
a/n: HELLO IM ALIVE- ummm did break up with my boyfriend, after spiraling for a week i am feeling much better! I did what was right for me and i am happier for it!! JAMES OR SIRIUS WOULD HAVE NEVER TREAT ME LIKE THAT! so yea I'm back :D thank you for putting up with my disappearances i should be uploading SEMI regularly just bc classes r in full throttle now
series masterlist
main masterlist
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It hadn't been as difficult as you thought. Getting rid of Josh was a pending item on your to-do list for months. But for some reason or another, you never could, not completely. More often than not, he’d find some weak spot in your resolve, and crawl back in like a cockroach. 
But not this time, at least not yet. After that day, when James’s call saved you from a bit of an uncomfortable situation, you managed to easily avoid his calls, if he knocked at the door Charlotte and you stayed unbearably still until he went away. He left voicemail after voicemail, called Charlotte’s phone with a bit more anger, and called your phone with crocodile tears. 
But you weren't sweating it. You had fallen into an easy pattern with James, he’d fill the time that you would've been itching to fill and end up calling Josh out of boredom. 
James was a good friend! At least that's what you’d tell Charlotte. She’d look at you with a glint in her eye and a smirk on her lips that you ignored. If only she was so keen and observant with women that she liked, she tended to lack awareness often. 
You didn’t dare tell her about the playful jabs, the comments you didn't dare label fully as flirty, or god forbid the butterflies that fluttered at the pit of your stomach every time he called, laughed, or gave you some stupid cloying nickname. 
“Come on pretty- just tell me” You could hear the pout in his voice
You groaned in defeat, “Okay okay- if I had to be any creature…” You thought about it for a second more “Potter this is stupid”
“Indulge me”
You sighed “Fine, I think I would be… a witch”
“That's not a creature love”
“Well they are to me”
“I know a few that would be greatly offended by that comment” he retorted
“Oh yeah? You’re friends with witches?” you mirrored the smirk you heard in his voice
“Quite a few actually, nasty women the lot of them…” James smiled, thinking of his friends. How Marlene would probably flick the side of his head, and Lily would wholeheartedly just roll her eyes. Dorcas would definitely send a book flying straight to his head if she heard, not that she hadn't done that often enough during their time at school. It was always deserved. “love them nevertheless though- Pick something else, witches are human”
You hmph in disagreement and thought about it momentarily
“I don't think it would be very pleasant to be a werewolf you know? A bit inconvenient-” you thought out loud
“You don’t know the half of it,” he said under his breath
“Vampires sound kind of cool… wouldn't be able to go out into the sun though so that's quite a shame” James hummed in agreement “Maybe a mermaid, they’re pretty right?”
“Allegedly, they’re more scary than anything else- foul foul creatures” The ones in the Black Lake had messed with him more than once. 
“Oh, what do you know Potter?”
“Quite a lot thank you- more than you anyway”
“And why do you think that? Mermaids aren't scary dummy”
“You say that because you haven't seen one pretty” James’s mouth was faster than his thoughts, he prayed you’d just laugh it off.
“Oh, and I suppose you have?” He slapped himself on the forehead as he thought of some excuse. The witches' comment he was able to get away with, maybe his tone had been too matter-o-fact.
“Well, yes I have!” he said, confidently, ironically. You started laughing, his worry melted away. Would you even believe him if he told you?
“Is that so? Well okay, what creature would you be Potter?”
“A hippogriff I think”
“What the hell is that?” James burst out in laughter
-
You could feel Charlotte’s eyes on you as you scooped ice cream into your lips. You focused on the cold chocolatey flavor and whatever movie she had found. You didn’t know what you were watching, you thought of James.
James and his stupid laugh, and the way he always called you pretty or doll or some other completely repulsive nickname you wanted to hate. But you couldn't. He was sweet, and he always asked how you were, after he found out about your roommate’s existence, he asked about her too. 
“y/n”
“yes charlotte?”
“What does he look like? is he cute? Is he tall? I reckon that’s an important one with men is it not” you groaned as she launched question after question
“Char, I already told you I don't know anything about him”
“But you talk all day, every day” She scoffed
“It’s not every day- nor is it all day I have things to do you know”
“It is though, every bloody day, you come in and launch yourself at the telephone like clockwork” You stared at your pint of ice cream, suppressing the small laugh that threatened to leave your lips. 
You felt a tad silly.
“It’s just-” You started to say, Charlotte leaned in with an excited smile on her lips as if egging you on. “It feels stupid, I could be getting totally scammed right now- sure he sounds young, and sure he said he’s twenty- but he could be anyone, anywhere” 
“Let’s think about it though- you guys talk a lot he has to be in England no? Calls out are so expensive” She grabbed the pint of ice cream from your hands, shoving a spoonful into her mouth. 
“That doesn’t change anything Char, I don't know him” She waved the spoon around dismissively. For someone who was so cynical about her own love life, Charlotte was always ready to be invested in yours. You never minded though, you were happy to bond over the raging disaster that it seemed to be.
“You guys have never thought about meeting up? You haven’t even talked about it?” You shifted uncomfortably as she wiggled her eyebrows “Have you even asked him what he looks like?” You took the ice cream tub back, shoving ice cream into your mouth
“We’re missing the movie y’know?” She scoffed at your weak attempt to change the subject
“As if I care about that- come on, you’re rolling in laughter every time you’re on that damn phone so there is clearly some chemistry there”
“So what I also have chemistry with circus clowns?” You said, turning to give her a deadpan stare. 
“You know what I mean” She took the ice cream back
“What if I meet up with him and he kidnaps me…” she offered you the last few scrapes left in the tub. When you shook your head she ate it gingerly, a small smile on her face. “Suddenly I’m in the arctic tundra being trafficked”
“As long as it's not with Josh,” she shrugged her shoulders “I reckon anything is better,” she said, snorting 
“You’re terrible” You both fell into laughter
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tags ; @ilovejamespottersomuch @ravisinghs-wife @hidontmindtheintrovert @stella-thestars @caspiankingofnarnia @lovelyteenagebeard @starkluvrr @hisparentsgallerryy @leilani13gc @katsusayhi @auroresce @lovemiss-vale @alessiaparigim @unconventional-lawnchair @moonydoodlez @eissaaaa @ailoda @nahhhwhatthefrick @notapoetjustscar @hiireadstuff @the-rat-king1902 @n1ght-vngel @littlewhitel1es @rreporterbby
permanent tag ; @laufeysvalentine @heyyyloverr
PLEASE PLEASE LMK IF I MISSED YOU I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR WEEKS AND I DID MY BEST TO COLLECT EVERYONE AHHHH thank you for reading <3
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unlicensed-field-medic ¡ 19 days ago
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[Will shoots percy with a quick dinger gun before returning his attention to the window] yeah, of course. Who knows, maybe peace will give you two a whole different dynamic [will's own brow furrows as he tries to recall if hes ever heard anything similar. He hasnt.] Geez. I sure hope he isnt immortal now. [He says before reconsidering] Unless hes still in the habit of killing monarchs
[Will shows up, knocking on the poseidon cabin, waiting for Percy to open the door, faint bags under his eyes though thats pretty normal for Will, and his bags considerably emptier than they normally are]
@unlicensed-field-medic
[percy opens the door, one shoe half tied, smiling at will, a mostly empty backpack hanging off one shoulder] hey, man
#what’s funny about you saying that me describing myself as lukewarm black coffee is positive is that i actually said it in a derogatory way#<- evil because lukewarm black coffee is actually my lifeblood- dark roast specifically#<- nico would be INCONSOLABLE i fear#<- this is the best part: you get to do angst!#nico is casually cuddling w an oc and connor stoll and missing will#<- fkfjfnfojff this is wonderful good for him hell knows he needs it#<- I HAVE NEVER BEEN AND I WANT TO GO SO DESPERATELY#<- hehehe >:3 (<- the laughter of someone who has performed in a vatican mass)#but no yeah its fucking epic if you asked me about it i could tell you so little my memory is so bad but that trip is a little more intact#(i also speak italian. i taught myself bc of nico. but we don’t have to talk about that)#<- ANY MOTIVATION TO LEARN AND GROW IS A GOOD ONE! LET GO OF ANY SHAME also thats mad impressive#<- it’s pretty casual??? it’s mostly ocs actually. me and connor stoll are the only canon characters LMAO#<- i mean this is basically what tumblr is theres not too many active canon characters#<- unfortunately i was kind of a nightmare about the british thing so they were justified#<- 😭😭 i am unfortunately constantly making the british the butt of jokes i fear if wed known each other during that period i wouldve nottt#let you kive it down ever i really cannot speak on your friends in hindsight#yeah the tea thing is fair though coffee is pretty dense/strong in comparison and the variety in teas is a lot bigger#and more noticable especially with all the herbal and mixed ones#my neighbours would be barbecuing and we were out here w cucumber and cream cheese finger sandwiches and crumpets#<- help not yall putting urself through literal burning hell for the sake of the vibe#out here fighting the real wars#had a FLIGHT of jams and jellies and cheeses once when my friend came over#<- oh used to be obsessed with cheese#just basic cheeses tho never thay knowledgable#ANYWAY i know ive said it a bunch alr but you give off such a sunshiney vibe#<- youd be surprised bc i know i am but i actually get this exact oddly hyperspecifc compliment a lot#OF COURSE I ALSO KNOW THERES GOOD FOR YOU TO DO IN OTHER CAPACITIES#<- 😭 the all caps implies an energy of frantic amendment thay i relate to greatly but know i appreciate this more than i know how to#properly communicate
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melanated-writersblock ¡ 5 months ago
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🪮Beauty Supply Store Run w/ ATEEZ🪮
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A/N: For my blacktiny that like to keep their ✨hair did✨, the idea crossed my mind a time or two and existed in my drafts as a title alone for months, so I thought I’d finally add some sort of body and post it🙂‍↕️. Not too terribly long, but I hope it’s still enjoyable nonetheless! As always, likes, comments, & reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Hongjoong ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ You two were out running errands all morning and this was your last stop before heading home.
⟢ Hongjoong figured he’d go in with you instead of just staying in the car.
⟢ You went straight to the back and got your go to burgundy braiding hair.
⟢ Hongjoong made it his business to buy hair coloring so his hair could match your braids when they’re done.
⟢ When you made it to the register, he got offended that you even pulled out your card to pay and stared you tf down until you put it back up🥴.
⟢ “Please don’t do that again while I’m here.”
⟢ Ofc he whipped out his card and paid!
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Seonghwa ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ It got to a point where he was spending more money than you🤦🏾‍♀️.
⟢ You already had a plan of attack for what you were gonna buy, but once Hwa saw all the extra stuff the store had he kinda went off the rails.
⟢ Not even half way through the store yet and he was already toting a hand basket full of hair ties, those zigzag headbands that pull your hair back in a wave pattern, mini claw clips, skin moisturizer, eye cream, face masks, lip balm, etc.
⟢ You had to stop him from buying a children’s bonnet because it had animal crossing characters on it!
⟢ “Hwa please, you don’t need all of that!”, “But there’s stuff in here for you too! Look, you just ran out of lipgloss so I got this one and there’s shimmer in it.”
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Yunho ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ You went in to specifically get more deep conditioner and Jamaican black caster oil with a couple of other stuff for your next wash days, and asked Yunho to keep you on track with your shopping.
⟢ You tried not to stare at stuff for too long bc Yunho likes to spoil you, and it wouldn’t make any sense if you’re trying to be good in the store but he goes and gets the stuff anyway😩.
⟢ He made a joke about buying you your own beauty supply store in passing, but knowing him it wasn’t a joke I fear…
⟢ The store had a sale on crochet locs and he saw the want in your eyes, so he snuck to the back to get 8 packs and paid for it while you wondered back in one of the aisles to get the spray bottle you forgot.
⟢ “I’ll be in the car when you’re done, Love.” Yunho called to you from the register before making a discreet run for the door so you couldn’t see his surprise.
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Yeosang ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ He’s a yes man I fear…
⟢ You knew you wanted to do a protective style, BUT you hadn’t decided which style you wanted to do yet, so Yeosang proposed the idea of “letting the hair god decide”, which meant you’d think of a style while shopping…bless his heart🙂‍↔️.
⟢ He didn’t know there were levels to this shit so now y’all have been in the store for an hour looking through different types of hair.
⟢ “If I get these bundles I could do a sew-in,” “That would look so nice!” “Waaaaaiiittt, if I get another pack of double strand cuban twists I’d have enough back home to do faux locs, should I?” “Yes you should,” “I gotta do waist length box braids immediately.” “You have to, and they need to be waist length exactly!” “Or should it be a bob?” “Yes, get a bob!”.
⟢ He’s just happy to be gang forreal😭.
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ San ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ The first time San went to the supply store with you, he didn’t know what he was expecting but he was gagged.
⟢ He thought he was on top of the names of the hairstyles you would wear…
⟢ Imagine his shame when you admit you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him he was wrong several times.
⟢ You gave him a crash course on your most favorite styles right there while walking through the aisles.
⟢ San has Pinterest open and at the ready with every namedrop.
⟢ “So the goddess locs aren’t passion twists,” “Right.” “And passion twists aren’t bantu knots.” “Exactly!”
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Mingi ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ Like a kid in a candy store.
⟢ Was vibing to the radio station, and kept pointing out the wall posters with different hair models on them, “You’d look so good with this style!”
⟢ Keeps holding up different packs of braiding hair colors to the side of your face, and you can’t help but laugh “Boy, what are you doing?” “I’m doing a color evaluation on you like in those youtube videos!”
⟢ The hair store turns him into a yapper, he even started chatting up the owner.
⟢ He kept going back and forth between the aisles and the front register, and had a full conversation happening with you and with the owner…AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.
⟢ But by the time you were ready to check out, someway…somehow…you ended up with a big ass discount😝!
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Wooyoung ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ Wooyoung made it his business to accompany you to the hairstore the next time you went after you returned home with $264 worth of stuff last time.
⟢ Crazily enough, you were only in there then for a new rat-tail comb cause you broke the last one in the middle of parting your hair.
⟢ He pushed the cart while you walked the aisles, following your eyes and what they were landing on.
⟢ “Aht! Aht! Put it back.” Wooyoung scolds you, pointing at the empty spot below the wig wall. You groan before putting the honey balayage Latisha unit back on the hanging rack.
⟢ “But Latisha is always sold out when I come up here though,” “You’re here for a new hair dryer and Eco Styling Gel, and “Latisha” is not one of those two things.”
⟢ You stare at him annoyed as he blows you a kiss, “I’m leaving your ass home next time.”
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Jongho ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⟢ A PRO✨
⟢ Your Jongiebear is not new to this, he’s TRUE to this!!!
⟢ He came over to your place to spend the weekend a while back and saw you in action doing your own twists.
⟢ He was curious and wanted to know more, so you spent the evening telling him hair stories and the importance behind it and what it means for you, he’s been enlightened ever since.
⟢ He made a playlist on youtube full of tutorial videos for various hairstyles, so he can “help you with your hair” but it’s also to spend more time with you.
⟢ He has golden hands and you literally only trust him to help you install or take down your styles when you do them at home now.
⟢ He was installing your bubble braids with your leftover packs of hair, but half way through you ran out.
⟢ He initiated the trip himself, fully determined to finish the style in the span of 4 hours like the youtuber said it would be. And you walked in that store grinning from ear to ear.
⟢ He knew the brand, texture, color, and length, don’t play with him😮‍💨.
⟢ You were gonna pay but he was so in his zone, you had to let him have his moment. He paid for the packs, and the bubble braids came out 👑FLAWLESS👑!
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Hope you liked it! Lemme know your thoughts🫶🏾 ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹.Masterlist.⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹
⋆˙⟡♡₊˚⊹.Blacktiny Writers Hub.⊹˚₊♡⟡˙⋆
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cyberkitty1 ¡ 9 months ago
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Ken sato brainrot is real and im here for that, i saw that request are open, and i want to make one if thats okay? Bassically hcs o of kenji with a high school friend reader that is a very shy/meek person, they where inseparable as kids and kenji was always very protective of reader, even in their high school years when reader started dating a very cuestionable guy that ended up being a cheater with her toxic ex best friend(that send her a lot of hatefull texts and calls with threats and slut shaming comments bc she wanted to date her boyfriend), due this reader moved on to japan when she and kenji where teenagers and they keep contact by texts and zoom calls.
When kenji comes to japan is determinate to make reader officially his girl, it can include headcanons of them as a couple!
If this is to much you are free to not do this request! I dont wanna bother you
hey babes! not too much at all!! i havnt been active at all lately and quite frankly i don’t want to work on my long fic so this will be my break! ^^ and sorry i did tweak it a little im sorry 😞
warning: lowercase intended, slightly proofread!
- your moms were great friends and throughout their pregnancies hung out with each other day in and day out.
- he was older by about 2-3 months. from the moment you were born you guys could not be taken apart. you bathed together, ate together, took naps together when i say everything i mean everything! you both urged to have birthdays together at some point.
- you both had so much love for either obviously not in a romantic way, but in a way that just being in eachothers presence is enough.
- once he knew he wanted to do baseball you’d practice with him for fun, granted he was lightyears ahead of you in technique he still likes tossing it back and forth and talking about drama in your classes.
- as you both got older you did find out your interests but that didn’t tarnish your relationship considering you had multiple classes together plus lunch plus going to and from school together.
- that is until you get a boyfriend. one of kens teammates. he was notorious for being with half the girls in your grade. you had a very small friend group but you knew who he was, but alas you still fell for him. ďżź
- you were together for about 4 months ken felt as if it were an eternity, time and time again he tells you his dating history and each time you’d hush him giving him and give horrible excuses.
- things were going ok up until you saw him acting a bit different, you weren’t one to meddle in others business but you knew he was hiding something. you check his phone and see a plethora of text messages and call logs of him and another girl he told you at the beginning “not to worry about”.
- the only person you could think of to offer you comfort is ken. walking if not running to his house a little under a mile away. he answers the door seeing you in your disheveled state and already knows what has happened.
- he could only hug you and listen to you sob. after about an hour you explain and he listens using tissues to get your tears and letting you blow your nose. you ended up staying the night having his mom call yours and let her know.
- by the next day you were feeling better but your eyes were so swollen your parents let you stay home, of course ken begged his parents to let him stay as well but he did have a test and practice so they ultimately refused.
- of course after ending all his tasks he made his way to your house to see you, you were still sad but a weight felt lifted off your shoulders. he was able to distract you further making you forget what you were sad about in the first place.
- once you were done with highschool you both move on to bigger and better things him continuing to pursue baseball and you going into nursing. at this point it’s the only thing you’re putting your energy into considering you lost contact with all friends in high school.
- but in college you were still working in groups with others so you didn’t mind too much and while you were living your life obviously he was too, getting scouted and making his dream team honestly doing everything he had wanted to do.
- another time skip, you’ve graduated officially but getting your doctorate is in the picture. he’s still doing baseball, you guys dont really talk anymore and he really really doesn’t like it. but he doesn’t know what to do, how to fix it. he really misses how things were and deeply loves you and can only reminisce on everything that you guys have done together.
- that is until after a battle he ends up at your doorstep not battered but still a bit hurt, all he could do during the fight was think of you, this was his breaking point.
PART 2
AYYYY 2 IN 1 DAY
AHHHH STORY TIME NEXT POST IS LIKE STORY PORTION
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socks10858 ¡ 8 months ago
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HOW TO TELL THE BEATLES APART AS SOMEONE WHO IS NEW TO LISTENING TO THE BAND!!!
- Bored and saw someone else do this, so I wanted to give it a shot -
NOW, it may seem a bit intimidating, seeing as, at first glance, they all look like four pale, British blobs with bad haircuts wearing identical suits, but I promise you that it gets far easier once you figure out the distinctions between them - OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY.
Firstly, let’s start off with with the least difficult (bc, IMO, he is easily the most distinctive-looking member of the the Beatles):
RINGO STARR!!
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If you’ve been in the fandom for any amount of time, you’ll know that this little guy’s most obvious tell is that rather large, Roman-esque nose of his - unless he’s standing next to the others in a full body picture, seeing as he’s a good five inches shorter than the rest of them.
I’m guessing that his height goes hand in hand with him also having a very small face; his jaw is very narrow and triangular, with very little definition (not his fault ofc, I’m sure that mewing was a very foreign concept back then to everyone other than George) and a pointy-ish chin.
His eyes are actually very large, though they don’t come across as big as Paul’s do right away because they’re quite hooded and downturned (very sad-looking/puppyish, as has been quoted by many). His lips are kind of thick and his teeth are a bit crooked, especially his left canine - somewhat similar to George’s, but not as long. This also makes his big ol’ grin SO endearing, he’s absolutely adorable.
Also, if you’re looking at coloured photos of them, his hair is a mousy brown, with (although only every now and then, if you peer close enough and if he hasn’t dyed it) a thin grey streak above one of his ears. Overall, he’s very much a cutie.
(Just look at that smile)
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Second of all, and my personal second favourite (although he and Ringo swap places every now and then):
GEORGE HARRISON!!
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As the youngest and (once again, IMO) most ‘classically handsome’ Beatle, Georgie is also rather easy to tell apart from the others, as long as the photos are being taken in a dimly lit room to show off those defined features.
He’s as thin as a whippet (which I’ve heard was common for working-class kids at the time, seeing as they were growing up on rations after the war) but gracefully, if a little worryingly, so. He also wasn’t as pale as the others (or didn’t appear so in pictures at least) and his skin had a tendency towards acne/was a little pockmarked.
With a long, lean face, the sharpest jawline KNOWN TO MAN, and cheekbones that put Angelina Jolie to shame, he cuts a very striking figure. His dark brown eyes are clear, with especially long lower lashes, and his lower lip is very full.
One particularly cute trait of his is his long, snaggle-teeth - if you look closely at his grin, you can see how his canines stick out quite clearly, just like fangs, though on one side more than the other. Just like a little vampire.
His hair was also extraordinarily thick - like, quote unquote, “a fookin’ turban” - and appears to be a very rich brown. However, his haircut in the early bowl-cut days is easily the worst of the lot of them (sorry George fans, I love him too, but it’s the truth. The moment he saw the fringe he’d been given, he should have called the police.)
Still doesn’t take away from his beauty ofc 🫶🏻
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Now, third of the lot:
PAUL MCCARTNEY!!
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IK no one asked for my opinion, but, while I agree that Paul was definitely pretty for a man, especially at the time, I don’t find him as much more remarkably handsome than the others as he’s often described. He was kind of just a different type of good-looking, which may have come off as extraordinary in the 60s - however, I am not saying this to detract from his good looks, he’s a gorgeous man.
As absolutely the most PR-conscious of the four, Paul is usually the one with the most charming/friendly expression in any of the group photos or interviews. He has a pale, pixie-ish face, with a straight, almost upturned nose, a somewhat long chin and chubby cheeks that make him look quite cherubic.
His lips are small and dainty, with an evident cupids bow, and he has pretty cute bunny teeth when he smiles. His hazel eyes are large and droopy, framed by notably dark, curled lashes - you’d be able to see them from miles away, they’re like spider-legs. His brows are also VERY arched and defined.
His hair was black/a very dark brown, and DEFINITELY cut the best, for at least a while there in the early 60s.
Though I may not be as biased towards him, I can definitely see why he was called the Cute Beatle.
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And, last but not least, my No. 1 Jealous Guy:
JOHN LENNON!!
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This time I am being biased when I say that I find this man INCREDIBLY, oddly attractive. Actually, not even oddly - he is quite conventionally good-looking for the most part, but I have a feeling many people don’t acknowledge that bc he’s been so villainised throughout the media. It was also a very different look than what was considered particularly handsome at the time, which frequently makes me very sad to think ab, but whatever.
John can be a bit easier to mix up with some of the others bc his features may not seem as immediately striking in the black and white photos, aside from maybe his nose. His long face was kind made up of angles - similar to George’s, but softer, not as slim/sharp. His jawline was squarish and defined, but bc of his chubby/fuller features in the earlier days it didn’t always look as such. His skin was pale and apparently very delicate.
His very long, thin nose (an aquiline nose, as Paul has repeatedly called it) is one of his most obvious physical traits- in fact, it’s one of the things he’s most well known for. His lips were very slim and pert, and he had quite a huge, cheesy little smile that showed off a row of kind of small, almost sharp looking teeth.
His eyes were almond-shaped and brown, usually thin/squinted due to the fact that he apparently couldn’t see for shit, framed by long, though pretty feathery lashes. His eyebrows were also very thick.
His hair looked fairly brown in the pictures, if a bit lighter than the other’s, but it was actually described as quite shockingly red in person - and u can see it in a few of the coloured photos that r circulating around the place.
People are pretty unfair about him (for the most part, I’m not excusing him entirely) but I still think he was a VERY handsome young man.
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solargeist ¡ 1 year ago
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I'm not sure if this has been asked, but what do the other hermits or members from empires think of grian being a watcher in your AU? i know martyn doesn't get on with him, but what are the others' view of it?
I don't know how every one would react, theres only a select few who know, but... !
Xisuma, because he was the first one to find Grian after he crashed into Hermitcraft. Xisuma already knows what Watchers are, so he took pity on Grian's reaction and took him in. He wasn't initially going to let him join HC since he was a stranger, (and a Watcher,) he was just going to help him back on his feet (wings?) and then send him on his way, but well things changed. Grian only told him whats relevant, so Xisuma doesn't know the whole story. Xisuma also comes from the End, he thinks the Watchers are inevitable and also none of his business as long as they don't mess with anything. Xisuma keeps tabs on Grian. Grian feels like he owes Xisuma the world.
Mumbo knows the full story, every little bit of it, Grian literally poured his soul out to him. Mumbo is the first friend he makes there, and Grian's still reeling from the whole experience so he built up a lot of trust in Mumbo and ends up spilling everything to him on a particularly bad day. Mumbo doesn't know what Watchers are, so he doesn't care that Grian was (is?) a Watcher, he just wants his friend safe, and doesn't think of him any differently. Mumbo sits right next to Grian with an arm over his shoulder, and fidgets with one of Grian's hands while he listens to him. Its sad at first, but towards the end of the rants Grian lightens up, a huge weight off his shoulders, and now they're both facing each other and gossiping abt their families. (Grian wins any family gossip bc his watcher aunt tried to throw him off a cliff)
Martyn and Jimmy, both were friends from Evo, and both feel betrayed by Grian leaving, and him being the direct reason their server is shut down. Martyn, while angry, and while he'd still fight him, he does want Grian out of there. Jimmy is more sad than angry, and tells himself he doesn't care, but he does, a lot. They both work with the Listeners, so Grian is a bit more villainized from their point of view.
Pearl also doesn't get the full story, she knows somewhat, and Grian has talked to her a bit about it, thats his sister ! But he can't tell her he left everyone on purpose, or how he was treated by Watchers, theres still a lot of guilt and shame. She doesn't force him to tell her everything, they're still siblings and repairing that relationship after being apart for so long.
Scar... Grian avoids Scar for awhile, after 3rd life he feels scared to face him in Hermitcraft. Though, to his shock, Scar can barely remember him, or the life games, its blurry, but theres a vague sense there, a memory or two, he recognizes Grian as much as you would a stranger you've seen twice in one week. Once they get closer though Grian tells him a bit, mostly abt the life game, and that his family runs it, but he didn't have anything to do with that. He also apologizes a lot. Scar just thinks Grian has a weird family, he doesn't know or understand what Watchers are, he mostly shrugs this off. Scar has a very "That was then, this is now" attitude, he wants to know This current Grian.
Thats everyone relevant that knows abt him, though I think there are a few Hermits that think theres Something up with Grian, but can't place it. Cleo, Etho, and Iskall, come to mind, theres something abt how Grian's eye catches the light...
(Theres also Taurtis.. The one that disappeared in Evo, one of the leading reasons Grian puts up with so much. I don't have much in writing abt Taurtis showing up again, but.. I do imagine his reaction to Grian would be very negative, maybe ? Angry and freaked out by him, I think Grian would collapse to his knees after seeing his reaction. BUT thats not really canon, thats just a thought I think is kinda fun.)
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strawberrykisseslia ¡ 1 year ago
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"I wish you were a boy..."
Vanessa Shelly x F! reader
Content: Angst, falling in love with a straight girl, no happy ending, slight homophobia?
A/N: idk why but I just love angst, also I cried while making this bc it reminded of myself when I fell in love with a straight girl 👍🏻 (canon event)
A/N#2: Should I write a second part for this? :3 I'm not sure what to put in it though but tell me! ♡
A/N#3: I apologize with the Christmas special one tomorrow or on sunday. ♡
Words count: 674
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Since high school you have been best friends with Vanessa and since then you were roommats. She trusted you more than anyone else and she told you about her horrible past.
As time went by you started to catch some feelings for her. You were scared cause even yourself didn't understand these feelings and you would've never guessed it wouldve been love. You were always there for each other, you always found time for her and she did the same thing. You though these were just some normal feelings and you were just comfortable around her but no, the thing you felt wad indeed love.
~~
It was late at night. You were still up, sitting on the couch with a glass of your favorite wine in your hand. It was quite, you only heard your thoughts and the only thing you were thinking about was you and Vanessa. Was this actually love that you were feeling? Should you tell her? What her reaction would be? The questions that were racing in your mind but... firstly, did you accept yourself that you might be in love with her? However, you knew she liked boys, she had one or two boyfriends during highschool and you always had that weird jealous in you. No, you were not jealous of Vanessa that she gets boys, you were jealous of the boys that they get Vanessa's attention the way you didn't.
As you were deepening in your thoughts you heard the front door open and saw Vanessa with a tired smile on her face. "Hey." She greeted you as she took her jacket off. She made her way to the kitchen and saw that there were some dinner left overs. You also went into the kitchen and smiled at her. "How's your day?" You took a sip of your wine. "Tiring." She chuckled. "Yours?" You nodded. "Honestly, same." You leaned against the counter and took a deep sigh. "Do you want some wine?" She shook her head and chuckled. "Why are you even drinking?" She asked with some light laughter. "Helps me gets some things off my mind." She looked at you curiously. "Really? What have you been thinking about?" She took a step closer to you. You shook your head. "Nothing special really." A small smile grew on your face. She got even closer to you and so you did. You looked down at her lips and leaned even closer. Your lips brushes against each others and you decided to let your heart control you and pressed your lips against hers... she didn't pull away to your surprise and kissed you back.
After some seconds she was the first to pull away and looked at you with slight shock. You felt worry hit you slowly. "I-I gotta go." She sounded frustrated and quickly wanted to rash away. You grabbed her arm and with shaky voice spoke up. "V-Vanessa? Are you alright?" She looked down before her with shame. "I can't do this." You were confused and it was noticable in your voice. "What.? Can't do what...?" "This!." She turned back and snapped at you. You flinched slightly at her loud tone, she was never like this before. "This is not right!. We can't do this!" You let her wrist go and looked at with confusion and sadness. "L-Look... I'm sorry, okay?" She sighed and lowered her tone. She took a step closer to you but you stepped back. She sighed heavily again. She turned around and started to walk to her room. She faced you was once again and broke the silence. "I wish you were a boy..."
You felt tears in your eyes and gasped. What was she saying?.. You couldn't believe her. "You know what... you might be right, I can't do this either.." Your voice was quite and shaky. You turned around and walked towards your room. Vanessa wanted to reach out but didn't want to or what to say so she just let you go.
Maybe she let you go forever.
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himbo-in-limbo ¡ 2 years ago
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[a random head canon thingy idk cuz my I pad is charging n I can't draw rn 😞] Glamrock Bonnie/Glamrock Freddy
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I like to think Bonnie often goes off on his guitar during live performances (leaning towards it sounding like heavy metal) n often forgets he's playing for children LMAO
The kids love it regardless but the gangs like "dude again?" His longest solo was like a good 3 minutes...
He craves to have artistic freedom, I'm assuming the rest do as well tbh
Imagine hearing Freddy practicing his vocals, since we see chica shredding her guitar in her spare time I wonder if he dose the same?
I bet Freddy also likes to help whichever staff member is doing heavy lifting n he sees them struggling with the cargo n just goes "Oh please it's the least I can do! You all do so much for us, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourselves."
Also likes to help because Freddy has trouble just doing nothing...he needs to be doing something!
Or else he gets a bit antsy
Which is why he loves conversing n little tasks!
Bonnie calls the people closest to him "Carrot cake" bc he loves it sm and he loves them sm
In terms of the OG Trio I see chica being the one they protect the most like that's their baby sister to them 🥺♥️
Side note that it's a shame we don't have enough interactions between chica n Freddy in the game...
Like I wanna know if their just as close to each other as Freddy and Bonnie were
Bonnie gets excited hearing stories that the staff members tell him (if he's friends with em) about the outside world...
He LOVE'S it when they share their favorite music with him! He likes to analyze the guitar solos n usually that sneaks into the next concert hehe
He wants to go outside so bad...he often looks outside any windows and wishes he could just step outside for a bit...
This is also something I think the rest have in common.
They are happy working with the kids! They love their job! They would just like to feel the sun n quite literally touch grass...at least once!
Going back to Bonnie loving carrot cake he dose actually have a slight problem with it similar to chica...just don't leave your slice unattended with him, like a magic trick it'll disappear ✨
I like to think Bonnie originally didn't have eye liner but he saw one of the staff members have some on and he just told them "I want that! Can you put that on me?!" And ever since then it's been a part of his iconic look
Freddy laughs to hard at simple jokes like dad jokes kill him, which is why when he tells them sometimes he can't finish the joke 💀
His laugh is so cute n contagious 😭♥️
Everyone groans but they laugh at Freddy's reaction anyways
Bonnie's laugh is dorky, he snorts on occasion and the others call him out n he gets embarrassed
All in good fun of course!
If Bonnie were to blush I like to imagine that his whole face goes red like you can always tell when he's flustered hehe
Honestly I believe Freddy has that classy rizz, like he's such a gentleman, he'd court you properly is all I'm saying
As for Bonnie he's flirty, if he likes you he'll be teasing you a lot
He likes to bully his crush a tiny bit by making em all flustered, and yes he challenges you to bowling quite often!
It's his favorite bonding activity what can you do
He's such a good teacher for bowling too! Has to be for the kiddos of course!
All in all these boys have a heart of gold
They'll inspire you in some way n leave you feeling happy! And you do the same for them! Their still learning how to modify their hugging power tho!
It's strong! 🧡💙
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bluepluto03 ¡ 1 year ago
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Branch Sacrifices himself for Floyd AU
Summary: in which Branch sees Floyd getting the life sucked out of him and gets freaked enough to make a really bad decision
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“I have a proposition for you. A trade.”
“Branch no!” Floyd yells
“Trade for what?”
“For me. You free Floyd, and you can use me instead.��
“Branch, leave, please.” Floyd begs.
Branch ignores him resolutely
Velvet seems to be considering. “Why should I trade?”
“Um… I won't die as fast?” Branch offers, caught off guard. He didn’t expect he’d need to convince her to kidnap him.
(Full mini/bullet fic under the cut)
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Note: this is a cross between a actual fic and a bullet fic bc I have Other Projects I’m supposed to be working on and I’m trying to limit myself from going all out on trolls, but if people like this maybe I’ll try to clean it up some more and put it on ao3
Branch gets the bait letter sometime before the wedding. He panics badly, barely stops to leave a note for Poppy before running off to mt rageous.
JD has already spoken with Floyd and left to collect everyone
At first their Reunion is pretty similar to cannon with a bit more confusion and worry
Branch starts trying to get the cover off the vents so he can take Floyd with him- he doesn’t want to leave him there. But It’s a huge metal grate over a vent and he’s one tiny troll there’s only so much he can do
Floyd hears Velvet and Veneer approaching and tells Branch to run. Branch argues against him, keeps trying to open the stupid grate, ignoring Floyd’s pleas for him to run
In the hallway the voices of Velvet and Veneer go quiet but the trolls are too frantic to notice
Floyd points out Branch can’t help him if they’re both caught, and Branch reluctantly agrees to hide
Velvet, who’s been listening at the door, bursts in. She lunges at Branch but he escapes into the vents where she can’t reach him
Vaneer whines they’ll never be able to find him now
Velvet is like hmm… picks up Floyd’s crystal, Floyd seems scared, looking back up at her
“Such a shame. Im not sure this one will last until the next one shows up.” She says loudly
Her voice rattles around the vents and shakes the ground Branch is trying to stand on and he he grits his teeth against it
“Oh im sure another one will show up soon enough, but we have half a dozen shows in the next few days. This one’s getting pretty weak.” she shakes Floyd. “With two, well theres one for each of us! Right veneer?”
“R-right?”
“Im sure two would be able to make it much longer…”
Branch knows what she’s doing. He knows she’s just trying to bait him out. The stupidest thing in the world he could do would be to go down there right now.
But all he can see is how pale floyd is getting, and the terrifying translucence of the tips of his fingers, and-
And. if he goes down there he’ll be useless to save floyd.
He’ll have to just figure out some other way to get floyd out
“We’ll have to keep him with us now, i guess, since theres some little critters running around. We don’t want them bothering our little guest”
Anxiety starts to choke Branch and he tries to push it down. Okay, that complicates things, but it’s fine. It’ll be fine. He’ll still manage to save Floyd. Before it’s too late
He can’t pull himself away from the edge of the vent. He realizes he’s been edging closer and closer on his stomach, out of the shadows, desperate just to see Floyd for a moment longer
Velvet looks around. She sees a shadow in the vent and grins to herself
“Well we’ve gotta get going to our next show. Time for a quick spritz”
She sprays herself
Floyd lifts up from the force of it, eyes rolling back in pain. His body shudders once with the wave, then goes boneless as he drops to the bottom of the bottle
“NO-“ the scream rips through Branch’s throat before he can catch it. Velvet looks at the vent with a predatory look in her eye. Floyd looks dazed and terrified on Branch’s behalf
Velvet takes one predatory step forward and instinctively Branch yells “DON’T MOVE”
Velvet stops, seemingly more out of surprise than anything else. She laghs. “Why should i troll? What’re you gonna do? Sing at me?”
“I’ll disappear into the vents” Branch says with much more confidence than he feels. “By the time you get to me, i can be deep enough that you won’t be able to grab me.”
Velvet frowns, eyes scanning the distance between them, but she dosn’t move forward
“Why not just run off then?” Veneer asks, though it sounds more genuinely confused, lacking his sister’s mocking undertone
Floyd is looking at him with a furrowed brow, confusion evident on his face as he struggles to figure out what branch is doing, even as he leans limply against the side of the bottle
“I have a proposition for you. A trade.”
“Branch, no!” Floyd yells as he figures it out
“Trade for what?”
“For me. You free Floyd, and you can use me instead.”
“Branch, leave, please.” Floyd begs.
Branch ignores him, resolutely pushing down the fear in his chest
Velvet seems to be considering. “Why should I trade?”
“Um… I won't die as fast?” Branch offers, caught off guard. He didn’t expect he’d need to convince her to kidnap him.
“Maybe, but pinkie here is pretty powerful. How do I know you’ll be anywhere near as strong?”
Branch hesitates then forces himself move forward “I’m stronger.”
“No he’s not! He’s terrible!” Floyd insists
“Excuse me?” Branch shoots back, indigent and caught off guard
But Floyd’s not looking at him hes talking to velvet. “He’s awful. If you use him you’ll sound like-” he grasps for how to convince them ”like a broken chalkboard, or nails in a clock, or- or a crying bird!”
“You’re mixing metaphors, babe” Veneer tells him
“Or something! It’ll be bad, okay??” floyd insists desperately
branch feels irrationally a bit hurt because he knows floyd is only saying that to protect him. He takes a deep breath, pushing down all the fear and hurt
“No it won’t. I have the voice of an angel.
Velvet raises an eyebrow. “Prove it.”
He sings a few bars
“Deal.” Velvet agrees to the trade
Now there’s the problem of actually doing the trade
They tell him to come down, he says no you’ll take us both, gimme floyd and then ill come down, they accuse him of the same thing, they agree on branch standing on the edge of the vent and them putting floyd next to him as they pick him up
They do it and branch tries not to shake in fear
They let Branch help Floyd into the vent because he’s so weak, but both Velvet and Veneer are hovering so close and they’ve figured out how to shut some of the vents so even if he wanted to leave he couldn’t
As floyd is placed down he beggs branch “branch please don’t do this, please.”
Branch can’t look at him. He wishes he had something, anything to say
Floyd’s hair wraps around his wrist weakly, it’s all Floyd can manage. Branch just gently takes it off and keeps going
As he steps into velvets hand he tries his best for a comforting smile. “I’ll be back. I promise.”
This time, when one of them walks away, they both know he’s lying
Note: that’s what I have so far! Cue very sick Floyd watching his brother suffer and desperately trying to save him while so weak.
Maybe I’ll continue if ppl like this maybe I’ll finish editing this into something a bit cleaner but we’ll see! Honestly depends if people are interested bc I have other stuff I really should be working on but the trolls hyperfixation hit me with a frying pan and dragged me into the fandom in a burlap sack.
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wholecakeincest ¡ 4 days ago
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[cw for csa but okay to rb]
Little thing I wrote regarding sanji and my agenda about judgesan, probably one of the more graphic things I’ve written despite there being no description of the event itself but ya know, I would put this on ao3 but I don’t think it’s polished enough and no it’s not bc I’m scared of this stumbling across the wrong people tch… anyway
My father raped —
No. Too violent.
My father molested—
Hmm. Right meaning but it doesn’t feel right. Molested has three syllables. Sanji’s name has two.
My father sexually abus—
No.
My father touched me in ways I never liked.
That’ll do. Tells the story but vague enough that it lets people wonder, Physical or sexual? Hell maybe even both. They can try to guess, they can figure out, but as long as Sanji doesn’t have to speak with a hard lump in his throat and something (he refuses to identify the feeling despite knowing exactly what it means, dead in the night whilst he’s all alone cold and shivering — a comforting feeling) swirling in his stomach, he’ll be fine.
He’s gotten this far in life without talking about it hasn’t he?
#
Sanji has never given much thought to reading, not anything that’s outside of his field of expertise, but Robin has been recommending books lately and well he gets bored easily sometimes, so he takes a look, lets his eyes scan over the text and brain soaked in the words.
They say that your body’s cells die and replace itself, essentially just regenerating your body, every seven years figuratively making you anew. Different from your past self, unburdened and untouched by past figures. If this is true what does that mean for Sanji?
His joints feel too stiff sometimes like they’re old and have lived a thousand lifetimes, when he’s scared hands immediately jump to his head, relieved and both frightened there’s nothing there. His past is so deeply buried within himself, resting in his bones and swimming in his DNA. What would a reborn Sanji look like, everything intact and the same except his past? Is he even Sanji without what happened? Is he now ruined forever? Because his body and brain refuse to forget what happened?
#
He knows what happened to him, isn’t an idiot and isn’t unaware. He knows parents (adults in general, he remembers Zeff huffing this at him once) aren’t supposed to touch kids like that, Sanji knows this. But old habits die hard don’t they?
#
He got off pretty lightly, Sanji thinks. He’s not diminishing his experience, not at all. But others have gone through far worse, so it’s not that big of a deal is it?
He remembers reading a news story when he was younger, a girl raped by her father for over 15 years. Sanji’s was less than a year. So no big deal, he’s gone through worse.
Sanji shrugs it off and rolls his shoulder, clicking it into place like he has done for years now.
He doesn’t think it’ll ever go back into his socket.
#
He has dreams about it, what happened, not about the event itself but maybe somewhere in the future, a future where his father loves him.
(Not enough to stop rap—)
Stop that, focus on the good stuff.
Sanji feels loose, warm, and painful, like he can’t breathe. Snot runs down his face as his oesophagus opens, he chokes spits and gags, but his father is so gentle wiping away saliva that Sanji immediately realises that what is happening between them is a falsehood, imaginative.
Still he swallows back down, ignores the bile rising in his throat.
#
Sanji can’t decide if he wants his father’s love or to kill him sometimes. He’s sure the blood of his father’s guts all over Sanji’s naked torso would feel the exact same kind of warmth his hand would give.
#
He’s been getting ulcers in his mouth a lot more recently, his tongue swipes over the sore, pain radiates in his mouth. Relief comes over Sanji.
He gets anxious, too anxious, if life starts going too smoothly, if there isn’t a constant pinch at his arm. He’s too used to the pain that anything opposite or contradictory to it feels shameful and wrong.
He hasn’t told Chopper about his mouth sore, they always go down in a week.
#
Robin looks at him as though she can see right through him.
It makes Sanji want to tear his skin off.
#
Sanji has to get a better alcohol tolerance.
They all look at him strangely, feelings of concern in their eyes when they shouldn’t be any. Words slip out, stories about the past start becoming solidified and real. When it’s in your head, it stays there, phantasmal. Even if it drives you insane.
If you speak it out loud? The phantasmal becomes real and everyone knows.
But what can they do?
Sanji’s back is now laid bare to them and they can do nothing that remedies the pain.
#
Sanji had only one year where he hated Zeff.
He came into the man’s office begging and pleading to remove the pain, pain that was phantom but pain nonetheless. Pain from missing his father.
Zeff has rejected him.
Sanji had sulked him to his room and in the morning had vomited all of his shame and words up.
#
You look pretty young should you even be here?
Flicker of a light and a chuckle.
Trust me my good sir, I'm old enough.
The man doesn’t believe him, that’s fine, he’s good at playing pretend. He’s done this before.
#
She visits him down there sometimes, he can’t tell if he’s grateful for the attention or not.
He sulks. At least it gets his attention away from you. She pauses. There’s shame in letting people know about what happened to you, about a beloved figure revealing that he’s the boogeyman your loving mother had warned about. If you had just kept your mouth shut everything would be fine.
I’m sorry, she finally says. They both know she doesn’t mean it.
#
Sometimes it gets bad, badder than it normally is, the cold ache in his bones becomes too much to bare so Sanji spends his evenings with spend all over his chest from fantasies that deeply shame him and vomiting into the toilet once his orgasm has fluttered down.
#
Sanji misses his father.
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aqg-arts ¡ 10 months ago
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Anyone wanna my 2 cents on Jade Shadows?
Spoilers bellow frens ;3
So, right off the bat (before I put my personal personal thoughts out there), we need to acknowledge the criticism and outright discomfort this quest had.
Some of the criticism this quest got is something I can agree with. Specifically; Jade Shadow's needed more time. 100%. Let them cook, or more importantly, let the story cook and maybe even burn a bit to give us some crispy, smokin hot parts.
The little footnote at the end of the quest saying we have 'more questions than answers'? We get it, you're self-conscious, but that doesn't give you an excuse for not giving me Stalker. PERIOD, BITCH.
Jest aside, srsly, we needed to know more about Jade, Stalker, what happened to them, baby Orion (Halo possessed me in that moment, iykyk), etc. People needed to get invested in the characters, especially because this is a quest so close to being like Sacrifice on its level of storytelling...
Had it been able to have just 30+ minutes longer.
Onto the 2nd part of the criticism, birthing sim:
I'll be honest, as someone who was thinking of even going into being a midwifery/allied health, it didn't freak me out as much as it did others. But that's just one side of it. The other is how people say Jade's agency was ignored.
I'll be honest, this is just wrong. It's not media illiteracy by any means, but rather pure ignorance. Why?
Because her agency is declared.
When?
"... you're going to be a father." OH, and the fact she literally wanted the baby. There are plenty of people who can explain it better than that, and whilst I acknowledge people may feel this way, this was, in fact, not what happened.
Also, this quest is not pro-life, nor is it anything related to that. If it was, I assure you, you would have a majority of the fan base up and walk. Take a chill pill. If you want to attack something for being pro-life, go help out at an abortion clinic with crowd control or smth. Because once you see that, you'll understand just how wrong you are.
It's not subtle.
It's not in between the lines.
It doesn't exist.
The end. Period. Fullstop.
The criticism is fair, but going so far as to say those are the undertones is just not on. Not only are you lying about something, but you are also disrespecting the very real women whom have had their agency denied in one way or another.
Now, that's not the only criticism about it, but those are just a few things you may see floating on tumblr. Again, both are ok and fair. But when you start to spread lies or ignore what actually happened, you're part of the problem, not the solution.
Now, onto the fun stuff!
Imo, aside from what was stated before, the quest was actually pretty fun and interesting. The pair make an interesting concept, especially now with the lil fugly bean, which has stolen a place in my cold, brainrotted heart. I think I like the Corpus Cap the most- pls marry me, pls. Oh, an Hunhow? Let me hug him. Let me give him a home on my ships. Let me tell him he can be my bestie!!!
Back to Stalker, though, I really hope we see more of him, especially now he's git a VA.
Speaking of, homie didn't get to speak often, but God did it hit home when he did. You can feel how desperate he is, then when he gets his answers, how lost he is. Finally, resolution and love ehen he names his lil kid at the end.
Music was on point, too. I can't listen to it tho bc Ik ima be sobbing lol. It was so beautiful!!!!!!!
Lorewise, however, I have so many fucking questions, but in the funny haha/good way.
Was jade pregnant b4 being a wf? If not, Stalker...
Why was their relationship shamed upon? Was Jade a Dax and him, well, him? Or was it because they weren't married? What was it that made the Orokin make em into Warframes? Also, Ballas, man, we know your hypocritical ass is in this shit too.
Also, Umbra and Helminth are confirmed to roam around the Orbiter, and vc Umbra is my main, this is a personal achievement. Now let us see it happen, and I'll be DE's 4 life.
But seriously, TL;DR:
Jade Shadow's was a good quest, it just needed to cook slightly longer. And, until we get more Umbra x Stalker from DE (bros b4 all), I'll be on AO3 in 3 (maybe 4) tags.
See in the next Stalker stan post :)
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undercover--bunny ¡ 2 years ago
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🦆Regressor!Sanji Headcanons (Bc I love him and he deserves happiness)🦈
⚠️Tw! Brief mentions of smoking
-Regresses pretty young, around 2 to 4 years old
-100% a stress regressor. After all he's been through with his family and his life, it makes sense that he would crave a childhood better than the one he actually had. He's too stubborn to ask for help though and definitely tried to hide his regression once he realized what it was. Anytime he regressed early on he thought he was just being overdramatic and weird, but once he put the pieces together he completely shut himself off from regression out of shame, until the crew later convinced otherwise
-He's really, really shy when little. Always hiding behind people or talking super quiet. Partially due to trauma, partially due to anxiety. He sticks particularly close to Robin and Nami because of that, they remind him of his mother
"Sanij-kun? Hey, is something wrong?" Nami asked, glancing down in worry at the blonde who had stopped talking about fish and had ducked behind her. Across the room, Zoro and Luffy, who had just entered, fell quiet.
"Sanji?" Robin tried next, working off a hunch. "Are you alright, little one?" She asked, voice taking on a softer tone.
A pair of nervous blue eyes peaked back at Nami and Robin, then they darted to Luffy and Zoro. He shook his head sheepishly. "Got nervous..." He admitted.
Nami glanced at the two, before putting an arm around Sanji's shoulders and smiling down at him. "Don't worry, Sanji-kun. I won't let them mess with you. If they try, I'll make 'em pay." She said, before snickering to herself and adding. "Literally."
-Always has something in his mouth, be it a paci, a bottle or a teether. If he doesn't have something to chew on he gets really fussy and nervous. It's like a substitute for his smoking habit when big, as much as he hates to think that way
-Little Sanji absolutely adores fish and the ocean and will babble about them for hours if given the chance. Sometimes Robin will sit with him in the Aquarium Bar in the Thousand Sunny and let him tell her facts about the fish or ramble about the "All Blue" and how badly he wants to see it
-He really likes playing pretend! His favorite to play with is Usopp, because he always got super in character, especially when he got to be the hero!
-When he's little, Luffy and Usopp adopt him as their little brother and proceed to get him into all sorts of stupid little adventures. They were eventually banned from watching him alone because the other Strawhats couldn't take the constant heart attacks
-Has the cutest little giggles and smiles ever. They're incredibly infectious and heartwarming
-Zoro has no idea how he's supposed to act around Sanij when he's regressed, so he just ends up acting like an annoying older brother. He teases him and tries to ruffle him up sometimes, but usually treats him a lot like how he does Chopper
Zoro glared down at the pouty cook in front of him, Sanji glaring back with equal annoyance. Normally Zoro would've taunted him, called him a bastard to start a fight, but it was difficult to be genuinely annoyed with his rival when Sanji's glare was accompanied by a pouty lip and puffed up cheeks. The swordsmen huffed, before leaning down and poking the mini cooks for head, earning him a more confused look. He smirked.
"Lemon." Was all he said, but the nickname was enough to make Sanji shove his hand away in childlike frustration. Much like a lemon, Sanji made a sour face before yelling back; "Moss!" at the big jerk!
Zoro merely choked off a laugh at the mini cook's expression.
Even when Nami piped up by asking; "Are you seriously picking a fight with a four-year-old, Zoro?"
-He's very affectionate, loves to be held, cuddled, carried, you name it. Luffy, Usopp, Nami and Chopper all spoil the heck out of him because of it. This boy is never starved of affection ever again and they'll make sure of that!
-He likes to play "cook" for the crew sometimes. He'll make them little pretend meals just like he does when he's big! His favorite to play this game with is Brook, cuz' he's always so silly about it!
-When Sanjis little he loves to be around Chopper because 1. Baby Sanji loves animals, 2. Baby Sanji loves soft things and 3. Chopper is both. Chopper pretends that he hates being pet like an animal, but he not-so-secretly puts up with it because Sanji's babbling is adorable
-^^Jumping off of this, Sanji didn't have many (If any?) stuffed animals growing up and when Usopp learned about this he was so upset about it that when the Strawhats arrived at an island for supplies and bought him a stuffed shark and a stuffed duck. They've become Sanji's comfort items ever since
-The Strawhats have almost adopted so. many. animals. because of little Sanji getting attached to random strays. Even worse when Luffy, Usopp or Chopper get roped in;
"For the last time Luffy, no! We are not keeping the snake!" Nami repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.
Sanji, Luffy, Usopp and Chopper all looked up at her with big, puppy-dog eyes before exclaiming in unison; "Pleeeeease Nami??"
Nami stared at them for a moment, before drawing in a sharp breath and turning to Zoro then desperately saying; "Zoro tell them no—!"
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ladystoneboobs ¡ 1 year ago
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@buttercuparry #in my experience I don't think there are many people who would say Smallwood is comparable to Catelyn as Arya's mother figure#in fact Arya herself once says that she doesn't want anyone but her mom#mostly when people do bring up smallwood it is because of the kindness that Arya experiences after harrenhal#yes there's also a sentiment of whether Catelyn treating Arya a bit more gently would have#solved some of their misunderstandings and lady Smallwood is brought up as an example in those times but I don't think that is to say#that Smallwood should replace catelyn! that's never going to happen...#I also think there's a difference between Smallwood and Catelyn in the way grrm writes#the forced to bath and insistence into girl things carry annoyance but not shame
yeah, ik people aren't saying lady smallwood should end up as arya's mother, much less that arya would want her to. i am responding to the idea that she is better by being kinder to arya than her own mother ever was. ofc arya feels no shame with her, a complete stranger! why should she care what lady smallwood thinks of her? it's like the end of arya i agot with her saying it was worse to find both septa mordane and her mother in her room after skipping out on needlework. does anyone reallly think cat was even harsher than mordane? no? then the difference is her mother's judgment is what truly matters to her. ik in my own experience the thoughts of relatives whose opinion i care about, however they express themselves, affect me much more than even blunter judgment from those whose opinion of me idc about. arya wanted her mother's approval bc that was her own parent, her only mother, while she disliked mordane and would have given up on her approval as an impossible task years before. lady smallwood was certainly a lot kinder than the septa, but arya had even less reason to care about her approval.
yeah, i do think cat should have taken more care with her words, as i pointed out with "could be pretty" quote, but do y'all really think the only reason arya doesn't like gowns is bc she wasn't asked nicely enough to wear them? that sounds pretty close to the claim that she could be great at needlework with a better teacher. why can't we just say she's not gifted at needlepoint and doesn't enjoy it and shouldn't have to? why must we care about arya's potential needleskill when she can do basic sewing and has many other skills unique to her? arya's "wilfulness" and gender non-conformity are key, intrinsic parts of her, idt that was born all bc catelyn started out only being gentle with sansa's hair and dress while always harshly ordering arya about concerning the same. kids fight with their mothers, and are more liable to act out with them than with other people's mothers. i used to fight with my mom every single day about brushing my hair, and i can tell you asking me gently would not have helped, she was not choosing to have to chase me around the house every morning. does anyone think wolf-blooded tomboyish lyanna also had a mean mom?
#there's also the situation of being a hostage to bwb and still wearing bolton rags and smallwood saying that it is a death sentence
well, yeah, i'm not saying she shouldn't have been taken out of those clothes at all. it's just that 1 bath should have been sufficient to wash the stink off her and it would have been more practical to put her in boy's clothes from the start, or at least after the acorn dress. i'm not trying to hate on lady smallwood, i like her too, but the point is, when comparing ravella smallwood with catelyn stark, it must be noted that yes, only one is arya's mother, not just in the sense that arya loves her mother and only wants her, but bc children act differently with their actual parents than with other adults, strangers, parents of other children. arya didn't care about the lady's early attempts to bond with her through talk of needlework and her daughter, it was only at the end of the chapter when she spoke of her dead son that arya felt a connection. idt that one moment is enough to say their interactions were better than any arya had with her actual mother, or that she'd have a better, more easily feminine life if she only had a mother like lady smallwood.
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raylangivins ¡ 4 months ago
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hi raylangivins im (N20) going through a phase in my life in which im constantly afraid (and probably have reason to be afraid) that im lame, boring, and uninteresting. how do i stop that?
Well to start with, you do not have reason to be afraid, and do not let yourself get deeper into the rabbit hole of your fears. No one on this earth is wholly uninteresting because all people ever are weird. Even the most boring person you can think of is interesting to someone out there. I think feeling like you’re boring is oftentimes a case of projecting your own insecurities onto people and then because you feel like they’re not interested in you, you stop offering them more and more of yourself and that’s when you become truly boring. Someone who lives a mundane life that excites them is still easier to talk to than someone who simply refuses to tell you about their life out of some misplaced sense of shame. As the great philosopher Jemima Kirke once put it, “you might be thinking of yourself too much.” And I’m saying all this from experience. There have been times in my life when I was quite low and felt like everyone around me probably thought I was boring and didn’t want to talk to me, and as a result I closed myself off, but that’s only going to isolate you more. Don’t do that! I know it feels fake and useless to stop yourself and go “no that’s not true, this is probably just my own self-loathing talking”, but unfortunately, you do have to do it to teach your brain to stop listening to that part of itself. Romanticise your life! It is as interesting as you interpret it to be!
Secondly, I think this fear is more indicative of some other thing that’s lacking in your life. Do you feel boring and uninteresting because you’re not doing enough things that excite you? Then try to do those things more! Get into hobbies, meet like-minded people. Tell people in your life about your new hobbies (there’s no better small talk hack than updating your coworkers on some creative class you’ve been taking, believe me). Just be open and chase those experiences. Making your life more interesting is very easy, but you actually have to put the effort in to do it. You have more agency in you life than you’re probably giving yourself credit for.
If the reason you feel boring is because the people around you dismiss you when you talk about the things in your life you think are interesting, then remember that that’s probably their bad personality. People who respect you will be interested in the things going on with you no matter how irrelevant it is to their lives in the same way you probably care about what’s going on with your friends even when it doesn’t concern you or your interests at all. If people make you feel lame on purpose then they are probably people you should spend less time around.
Lastly - and this is going to be so annoying to hear - do not stress, being young just feels like that. A joke I’ve been making a lot recently bc of my 30th birthday is how happy I am to finally be out of “adult puberty” (my 20s), and when I made this joke to my dad he was like “yeah it is like that”, because yeah, it is like that. Going into your 20s you’re still kind of stuck in that youthful expectation that everything in life is a bit monumental and matters so much, and you’re pre-occupied with how people perceive you whether they be friends or strangers, and your perception of yourself is warped by ideas you’ve been formulating about what is and isn’t cool, but those ideas aren’t based on a lot of life experience, they’re based on whatever societal expectations you’ve absorbed. The further along you get into your 20s, and the more you explore yourself, and your interests, and your friendships the more you realise that actually everything in life is very transient. Your life can change drastically from year to year; you meet so many people - some who disappear and some who stick around; you explore so many new identities, and abandon so many more, and it’s all completely fine. And the more aware you become of yourself and the conditions for your own happiness, the less it’ll matter if people think you’re lame. You won’t think so! Just treat yourself kindly, and put in the effort to do the things that you enjoy, and the rest will come. Jenny Slate tweet!
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