#making them a part of u forever <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gender-trash · 7 months ago

Note

I would be very interested in hearing the museum design rant

by popular demand: Guy That Took One (1) Museum Studies Class Focused On Science Museums Rants About Art Museums. thank u for coming please have a seat

so. background. the concept of the "science museum" grew out of 1) the wunderkammer (cabinet of curiosities), also known as "hey check out all this weird cool shit i have", and 2) academic collections of natural history specimens (usually taxidermied) -- pre-photography these were super important for biological research (see also). early science museums usually grew out of university collections or bequests of some guy's Weird Shit Collection or both, and were focused on utility to researchers rather than educational value to the layperson (picture a room just, full of taxidermy birds with little labels on them and not a lot of curation outside that). eventually i guess they figured they could make more on admission by aiming for a mass audience? or maybe it was the cultural influence of all the world's fairs and shit (many of which also caused science museums to exist), which were aimed at a mass audience. or maybe it was because the research function became much more divorced from the museum function over time. i dunno. ANYWAY, science and technology museums nowadays have basically zero research function; the exhibits are designed more or less solely for educating the layperson (and very frequently the layperson is assumed to be a child, which does honestly irritate me, as an adult who likes to go to science museums). the collections are still there in case someone does need some DNA from one of the preserved bird skins, but items from the collections that are exhibited typically exist in service of the exhibit's conceptual message, rather than the other way around.

meanwhile at art museums they kind of haven't moved on from the "here is my pile of weird shit" paradigm, except it's "here is my pile of Fine Art". as far as i can tell, the thing that curators (and donors!) care about above all is The Collection. what artists are represented in The Collection? rich fucks derive personal prestige from donating their shit to The Collection. in big art museums usually something like 3-5% of the collection is ever on exhibit -- and sometimes they rotate stuff from the vault in and out, but let's be real, only a fraction of an art museum's square footage is temporary exhibits. they're not going to take the scream off display when it's like the only reason anyone who's not a giant nerd ever visits the norwegian national museum of art. most of the stuff in the vault just sits in the vault forever. like -- art museum curators, my dudes, do you think the general public gives a SINGLE FUCK what's in The Collection that isn't on display? no!! but i guarantee you it will never occur, ever, to an art museum curator that they could print-to-scale high-res images of artworks that are NOT in The Collection in order to contextualize the art in an exhibit, because items that are not in The Collection functionally do not exist to them. (and of course there's the deaccessioning discourse -- tumblr collectively has some level of awareness that repatriation is A Whole Kettle of Worms but even just garden-variety selling off parts of The Collection is a huge hairy fucking deal. check out deaccessioning and its discontents; it's a banger read if you're into This Kind Of Thing.)

with the contents of The Collection foregrounded like this, what you wind up with is art museum exhibits where the exhibit's message is kind of downstream of what shit you've got in the collection. often the message is just "here is some art from [century] [location]", or, if someone felt like doing a little exhibit design one fine morning, "here is some art from [century] [location] which is interesting for [reason]". the displays are SOOOOO bad by science museum standards -- if you're lucky you get a little explanatory placard in tiny font relating the art to an art movement or to its historical context or to the artist's career. if you're unlucky you get artist name, date, and medium. fucker most of the people who visit your museum know Jack Shit about art history why are you doing them dirty like this

(if you don't get it you're just not Cultured enough. fuck you, we're the art museum!)

i think i've talked about this before on this blog but the best-exhibited art exhibit i've ever been to was actually at the boston museum of science, in this traveling leonardo da vinci exhibit where they'd done a bunch of historical reconstructions of inventions out of his notebooks, and that was the main Thing, but also they had a whole little exhibit devoted to the mona lisa. obviously they didn't even have the real fucking mona lisa, but they went into a lot of detail on like -- here's some X-ray and UV photos of it, and here's how art experts interpret them. here's a (photo of a) contemporary study of the finished painting, which we've cleaned the yellowed varnish off of, so you can see what the colors looked like before the varnish yellowed. here's why we can't clean the varnish off the actual painting (da vinci used multiple varnish layers and thinned paints to translucency with varnish to create the illusion of depth, which means we now can't remove the yellowed varnish without stripping paint).

even if you don't go into that level of depth about every painting (and how could you? there absolutely wouldn't be space), you could at least talk a little about, like, pigment availability -- pigment availability is an INCREDIBLY useful lens for looking at historical paintings and, unbelievably, never once have i seen an art museum exhibit discuss it (and i've been to a lot of art museums). you know how medieval european religious paintings often have funky skin tones? THEY HADN'T INVENTED CADMIUM PIGMENTS YET. for red pigments you had like... red ochre (a muted earth-based pigment, like all ochres and umbers), vermilion (ESPENSIVE), alizarin crimson (aka madder -- this is one of my favorite reds, but it's cool-toned and NOT good for mixing most skintones), carmine/cochineal (ALSO ESPENSIVE, and purple-ish so you wouldn't want to use it for skintones anyway), red lead/minium (cheaper than vermilion), indian red/various other iron oxide reds, and apparently fucking realgar? sure. whatever. what the hell was i talking about.

oh yeah -- anyway, i'd kill for an art exhibit that's just, like, one or two oil paintings from each century for six centuries, with sample palettes of the pigments they used. but no! if an art museum curator has to put in any level of effort beyond writing up a little placard and maybe a room-level text block, they'll literally keel over and die. dude, every piece of art was made in a material context for a social purpose! it's completely deranged to divorce it from its material context and only mention the social purpose insofar as it matters to art history the field. for god's sake half the time the placard doesn't even tell you if the thing was a commission or not. there's a lot to be said about edo period woodblock prints and mass culture driven by the growing merchant class! the met has a fuckton of edo period prints; they could get a hell of an exhibit out of that!

or, tying back to an earlier thread -- the detroit institute of arts has got a solid like eight picasso paintings. when i went, they were kind of just... hanging out in a room. fuck it, let's make this an exhibit! picasso's an artist who pretty famously had Periods, right? why don't you group the paintings by period, and if you've only got one or two (or even zero!) from a particular period, pad it out with some decent life-size prints so i can compare them and get a better sense for the overarching similarities? and then arrange them all in a timeline, with little summaries of what each Period was ~about~? that'd teach me a hell of a lot more about picasso -- but you'd have to admit you don't have Every Cool Painting Ever in The Collection, which is illegalé.

also thinking about the mit museum temporary exhibit i saw briefly (sorry, i was only there for like 10 minutes because i arrived early for a meeting and didn't get a chance to go through it super thoroughly) of a bunch of ship technical drawings from the Hart nautical collection. if you handed this shit to an art museum curator they'd just stick it on the wall and tell you to stand around and look at it until you Understood. so anyway the mit museum had this enormous room-sized diorama of various hull shapes and how they sat in the water and their benefits and drawbacks, placed below the relevant technical drawings.

tbh i think the main problem is that art museum people and science museum people are completely different sets of people, trained in completely different curatorial traditions. it would not occur to an art museum curator to do anything like this because they're probably from the ~art world~ -- maybe they have experience working at an art gallery, or working as an art buyer for a rich collector, neither of which is in any way pedagogical. nobody thinks an exhibit of historical clothing should work like a clothing store but it's fine when it's art, i guess?

also the experience of going to an art museum is pretty user-hostile, i have to say. there's never enough benches, and if you want a backrest, fuck you. fuck you if going up stairs is painful; use our shitty elevator in the corner that we begrudgingly have for wheelchair accessibility, if you can find it. fuck you if you can't see very well, and need to be closer to the art. fuck you if you need to hydrate or eat food regularly; go to our stupid little overpriced cafeteria, and fuck you if we don't actually sell any food you can eat. (obviously you don't want someone accidentally spilling a smoothie on the art, but there's no reason you couldn't provide little Safe For Eating Rooms where people could just duck in and monch a protein bar, except that then you couldn't sell them a $30 salad at the cafe.) fuck you if you're overwhelmed by noise in echoing rooms with hard surfaces and a lot of people in them. fuck you if you are TOO SHORT and so our overhead illumination generates BRIGHT REFLECTIONS ON THE SHINY VARNISH. we're the art museum! we don't give a shit!!!

#so anyway i love going to art museums--#the trashcan speaks #long post

8K notes · View notes

insomnya777 · 3 months ago

Text

elaborating because i can and a couple people asked me to and we all know that all i need is a little encouragement to get me going

under the cut because i'm a grade-a yapper and this is going to be LONG. like super long. i've pulled up lyrics and songs and everything. <- your final warning

1. joel as sabrina

so no one really disagreed with me on this one and i don't think anyone will just because of the fact that he references her in his videos but like. i'm still going to talk about it because i want to and this is my blog and You Can't Stop Me!!!!!

if you don't know sabrina carpenter, basically just know that she's charismatic & confident & hilarious & gorgeous. plus like all of her songs are sooo him! they're fun and light and always a hit!!! but also can be scathing if they need to be!!!! her humour especially reminds me of him (as a character) because it's like ironic and self-aware but also flirty and silly but also a little twisted and a little mean. in particular i think that the cocky (not the word that describes it best but it's the only one i can think of) side of herself that she shows during her concerts reminds me a lot of joel with his whole "oh i'm so tall and handsome" bit he's got going on

literally like i don't know what more i can say to this. my dude has multiple of her songs in his playlist, he used espresso in his video, and also one of his tools on hermitcraft is named after a lyric. it's canon guys 🙏

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

espresso — i can't relate to desperation, my give-a-fucks are on vacation

read your mind — oh, i'll be laughing when you say that you really have changed, finally found your way, 'cuz i'm close to your face

tornado warnings — i deserve an hour in a week to focus on my thoughts, not so obsessed with yours i can't hear myself speak

lonesome — if i fall in love with all my problems, will they leave me too?

things i wish you said — nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks i'm fucking rude

bed chem — who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?!

don't smile — don't smile 'cuz it happened, baby, cry because it's over

good graces — baby, you say you really like it, being mine, so let me give you some advice!

2. grian as taylor

okay this one is VERY personal to me. i am so unhealthily attached to him as taylor. you're probably thinking: but, nya, he literally canonically has an alter ego named after ariana grande! and i raise you this point: i simply do not care

all jokes obviously. i can see why people see him as ariana! especially in her new album, i've listened to it a lot, and i definitely can see some songs that remind me of his character - cough, cough, we can't be friends (wait for your love) - but i've got to say that ariana to me has always been scar (or maybe even a bit of jimmy? undecided) but that's a post for another time

now why i see grian as taylor! i have three main reasons for this actually. as an og swiftie and an og grian fan i may be a little bit biased but just. ignore that. thanks

first of all, i think that they're both kind of starting points, if you get what i mean. most hermitcraft/life series fans start with grian, and then eventually branch out to other creators. similarly, a lot of people listen to taylor swift/know her songs the best out of the genre she specializes in/within the audience her content is aimed towards

secondly, they're also both the most popular within their own branch, and i think they're both the type of artists/channels that you can enjoy without really being a Fan of. almost mainstream (? don't know if that's the term that would work for grian but you get my point). like you don't have to be a diehard grian fan to enjoy his videos, you can just decide one day to pick up one of them, watch it, then never think of it again. does that make sense?

third, i think they both have a lot of variety within their content. taylor's music ranges between emotions and styles, just like the videos that grian makes fluctuates in theme. he's on servers like hermitcraft, where we see him interact with other people and show off his building skills and just be silly. then he's in the life series, which is the total opposite, and then he was also in evo, which is also very different, and so on. his characterization also is very different from author to author, which is, of course, to be expected, but i haven't really seen other people in this particular fandom get characterized so differently to this degree. (it's not a bad thing!!!! i love it i think it's actually sooo fun & interesting that we can take this character and morph it into what we want. like most people don't even realize they're doing it you can only really pick up on it if you're looking for it)

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

castles crumbling — and you don't want to know me, i will just let you down

begin again — thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end

22 — happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

call it what you want — and i know i make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn, i never learn, at least i did one thing right

the archer — 'cuz all of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you

don't blame me — for you, i would cross the line, i would waste my time, i would lose my mind

hoax — stood on the cliffside, screaming "give me a reason"

this is me trying — and my words shoot to kill when i'm mad, i have a lot of regrets about that

my tears ricochet — you know i didn't want to have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene

mad woman — what did you think i'd say to that? does a scorpion sting when fighting back? they strike to kill, and you know i will

the prophecy — please, i've been on my knees, change the prophecy. don't want money, just someone who wants my company

3. jimmy as olivia

i'll be real with you, i have considerably less reasons for why i've chosen this. it relates a lot around his interactions with other characters instead of just him as a character + i've taken a few creative liberties here so. cut me someeee slack!

my main reason for this is that jimmy is just the epitome of teenage girl to me (just like olivia). that's probably a little bit of projection on my side because i, myself, am a teenage girl (which i don't know if many of you know? but yes i am a teenager) and jimmy's probably my favourite which leads to me kind of distorting his character a little. but. i don't know. something about the not being taken seriously, the refusal to give up, the insistence that this time will be different just hits me so hard/is relatable. not to get all serious on you

i will say this, though - while sabrina as joel was about both sabrina carpenter the person (or the person that the world knows) and also her music, i think for olivia as jimmy, it's mainly about the music. but you can also relate her relationships with other people (what we know of them, at least) to jimmy's with scott tango grian whatever. i think they do parallel each other pretty well, but, again, that's another post

i also think that jimmy's a lot more sour, not so much guts. olivia's first album revolves around that idea of heartbreak, jealousy, angst. i think his character usually revolves around themes like that. guts, olivia's second album, to me, is a little different. she's grown as a person, reflecting, and she's a lot more confident, too. it shows in her music. i think that jimmy (especially in the life series) is overall very, very sour coded, but then again, there are many songs on guts that definitely can be related to him too.

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

love is embarrassing — jesus, what was i even doing? 'cuz now it don't mean a thing, god, love's fucking embarrassing

ballad of a homeschooled girl — each time i step outside, it's social suicide

the grudge — i'm so tough when i'm alone, and i'll make you feel so guilty, and i fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry

teenage dream — when are all my excuses of "learning my lesson" gonna start to feel sad?

brutal — all i did was try my best, this the kind of thanks i get?

jealousy, jealousy — their win is not my loss, i know it's true but i can't help getting caught up in it all. comparison is killing me slowly

favourite crime — one heart broke, four hands bloody

1 step forward, 3 steps back — i hate that i give you power over that kind of stuff

THE END!!!!! i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing this and let me know your thoughts 🫶 always up for some debate!!!

if joel is sabrina carpenter coded (& he is trust) then grian is taylor and jimmy is olivia rodrigo. no i will not be taking criticism but i am fully willing to elaborate

#guys u have NO IDEA how much i had to hold myself back here #i'm so fucking serious #this post is already so long i had to bite my tongue so i wouldn't ramble more about it #it could've been ten times longer (threat)#no but like u see grian's part???? the length of it???? thats i think a quarter of what i could've said there #him as taylor <3 everything!!#someone said they saw jimmy as taylor i see that too especially in ttpd!!!#i feel like maybe characters as albums could be a better way to sort them out #but then. joel. joel is literally just Sabrina Carpenter #LMFAO #i was considering doing honourable mentions #like songs from other artists that do remind me of each character #but like then i figured that this would go on forever #i had to stop myself from bringing up flower husbands and boat boys it was so hard #OMG AND DESERTDUO #it was so so hard to not bring up desertduo #because their characters are so intrinsically linked within the life series #they're tied to each other and their stories and respective character arcs revolve around one another more than anyone else #and it was. very difficult for me to not bring that up and just focus on Grian #EVEN MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE I LITERALLY HAVE A DESERTDUO AS TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYLIST #<- chronologically ordered and following the events of the life series BTW #if anyone wants the link hmu 🤙#but seriously #the way i could've elaborated on every single song i listed needs to be studied #heavy on the prophecy + mad woman + this is me trying + the archer #I LITERALLY HAVE A FIC DEDICATED TO GRIAN AND THIS IS ME TRYING #and also one about jimmy and ballad of a homeschooled girl #omg i need to do an in depth song analysis one day #i've already done one on alley rose by conan gray w my superhero au but i've been thinking of making another one recently too #idk though is this even. like content that people enjoy

131 notes · View notes

nanaslutt · 10 months ago

Text

Bathtime w/ Fuckbuddy Satoru Gojo <3

contains: fem reader, reader is a teacher at Jujutsu High, clit play, mutual pining, teasing, so much dirty talk, possessive!Satoru if u squint

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"Ahhhh...." You moaned quietly into the small space of your bathroom as the soreness from your limbs was washed away by the borderline scolding hot water that swallowed up your body. The bubbles tickled your chin as you sunk deeper, letting the water cover your body up to your neck so you appeared to be a head floating in the bath.

Gojo had been out on a mission, which meant you were in charge of teaching his students and overseeing their sparing. Only you had to get hands-on with them several times and ended up moving your body in ways you haven't moved since you were in high school.

You were a sorcerer and you trained frequently, but in the weeks before training his students, curses had been quiet, which meant fewer missions and less moving your body. So you stayed inside most days to complete paperwork, ignoring the training you should've been doing to stay agile and keep your bones loose during the dry spell of curse appearances--and boy did it show.

Not in your performance, but in your bones. You felt your muscles straining and burning when you pulled off some showy move for the students as you avoided one of their hits. The day felt like it was dragging on forever, and each time one of his precious students asked if you would spar with them, you accepted because your ego was too big to decline because of a little soreness.

You had plenty of time to regret it afterwards though as you lay on your floor and stretched your body, cursing at Gojo over the phone for having such energetic students. He laughed and apologized, though he didnt seem very sorry to hear you groaning and moaning in pain through the phone. All of your moans sounded the same to him, pervert. Although he did promise to make it up to you when he came home from his mission in a few days, so you let him off the hook.

Though you were irritated, as you shut your eyes and let the Epsom salt soak into your tired body, letting the hot water creep into your skin, you couldn't find yourself to be all that mad. This felt so good, you hadn't relaxed like this in a while. You silently prayed to someone that the dry spell of curse sightings would keep up so you could relax like this more often, even though you knew that was wishful thinking.

You let the hot water wash all of the thoughts from your head, and it must've taken some of your consciousness with it because you failed to hear the dull bang of your front door opening, followed by footsteps that got closer and closer to the outside of your bathroom door. Your entire body jolted forward when you snapped back into reality fully at the sound of the bathroom door creaking open.

The adrenaline and fear from your fight or flight response didnt last long when the familiar feeling of Gojo's cursed energy flooded into your body, relaxing you almost instantly. "Oh? Did I scare you?" Gojo giggled as he pushed the door open entirely, his long frame leaning against the doorway, arms crossed as he watched you from under his blindfold.

The bubbles had covered your chest in a way that almost looked like someone had placed them there on purpose. They came up to just above your nipples, covering the part of you Gojo wanted to see most. The rest of the suds stuck to the skin of your breasts, slowly slipping downwards at a snail's pace. If you kept your body sitting up like you were for long enough, the bubbles would surely run off your tits and reveal your pretty nipples to Gojo's eyes.

The water still sloshed around your body from your sudden movements before you sighed and leaned back against the tub, letting the water absorb you into it once more. "Fuck, Satoru... what are you doing here? I thought you were going to be gone for another week?" You asked, trying to keep the longing out of your tone as you spoke to him, not wanting him to know you missed him as much as you did, his ego didn't need that.

"Aww did someone miss me?" Gojo asked, tilting his head at you. "I missed you too, that's why I used you as motivation to exercise that curse as quickly as possible so I could come to you~" The teasing and playfulness in his voice both irritated and aroused you. You scoffed, turning your head away from him to stare at the very interesting blank wall of the shower as you felt a blush creep onto your face.

"Get in and close the door or leave, you're letting all the hot air out." You bit, ignoring his teasing words as you felt goosebumps tickle your arms from under your skin. "Ohhh~ Is that an invitation?" Gojo cooed, uncrossing his arms as he kicked the door shut behind him, a large hand reaching behind his head to pull off his blindfold, his beautiful blue eyes being revealed from underneath.

You kept your face unreadable as you looked back at Gojo, your greedy eyes taking in the way his arms bulged as the jacket slid off his arms, falling to the floor. It must've been hot where he was sent on the mission because instead of the signature white long-sleeve button-up shirt he usually wore under his jacket, his body was adorned in a tight black muscle shirt. One that made your mouth water with how little it left to the imagination.

"Hey, my eyes are up here. You're making me embarrassed, y'know~" Gojo whined, faux pouting as he crossed his arms over his body and pulled up the bottom of his shirt before slowly sliding it up his body, giving you a show as each row of his insanely defined abs was revealed to you. Satoru grinned at you when he pulled the shirt over his head, his hair looking ruffled and fluffy from his head being squeezed through such a tight opening. Cute.

"Don't say that like you don't stare at me shamelessly when I take off my clothes in front of you." You retort, feeling your body start to react to the show he was putting on for you. "I can't help it, you get so squirmy when I watch you, it's adorable," Gojo responded, his hands making quick work of his belt as he kept his piercing eyes on yours while he did so.

Your lip curled up slightly in embarrassment at his words. How was he able to just say stuff like that? "You touchin' yourself under there?" Gojo asked, his voice keeping the teasing tone but with the addition of something deeper now. Your jaw dropped as you stared at him incredulously, a blush spreading across your face. "Y-you-" Briefly looking down you noticed the bulge that had already formed in his pants.

He could see nothing but your head floating atop the bubbles, how was he already hard? "You have such a dirty mouth Satoru." You responded, shaking your head at him. He giggled as he finally pulled his pants and boxers off his heels, his hard cock standing at full attention, the delicious curve made it point up towards his belly. You did your best to avert your eyes, looking back at the blank wall of the shower as he got closer.

"Heh~ You're so easy to tease." He teased. "Scoot forward, make some room for me, princess." Your heart was beating out of your chest. It had only been a week and a half since Gojo had left on his mission, but your body had missed him so badly. Not a second went by that you didnt crave Satoru's presence in some way, so now that he was actually here after ten days of pining, your body didn't know what to do with all the feelings you were experiencing.

Wordlessly, you leaned forward and allowed Gojo to slide into the bath behind you. He hissed when he stuck his first foot in the bath behind your body. "Are you a masochist?? Why is the water so hot??" Gojo complained, hissing and whining under his breath after each inch of skin he sunk into the water.

His childishness eased some of the tension and embarrassment you were feeling. You smiled to yourself as he situated himself deeper into the bath, his thighs spreading around your body. "Your students pushed me to my limits, I don't think there's a muscle in my body that isn't sore." You sighed. Gojo hummed in awknowledgement as he wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you back agaisnt him, your back flush to his chest--which felt so much wider than you remember.

You tried to ignore the very prominent feeling of Gojo's hard cock poking your lower back as you relaxed against him, your eyes taking in his usual porcelain skin turning red on the tops of his knees as they poked out from under the water, burned from the heat of the water. "Is your body more sensitive to heat because of your infinity? Or are you just a bitch?" You asked, staring blankly at the shower wall in front of you.

Gojo tsked at your words, his arms squeezing tighter around your body. "You could've said that last part nicer. I'm sensitive." He replied, pouting as he placed his chin on your head, staring at the same wall you were. You laughed softly, relaxing even further against him "I've always been sensitive to extreme temperatures, but I think anyone besides you would agree with me when I say this bath is just too hot."

You stayed quiet for a few seconds before you spoke again, "I think you're just a bitch." You said teasingly, smiling to yourself. Gojo pulled his head back from resting on the top of your head and looked down at your smaller frame against his as he pouted. He quickly got distracted though, forgetting your words as his eyes traced over the slope of your shoulders, the curve of your neck, and the valley between your breasts, glistening from the water.

Satoru licked his lips when an idea suddenly popped into his head. Releasing the hold he had on your body, he placed one of his hands right under your tit, the other slowly sliding down the front of your body. On instinct, you looked down, as if you could see his hands working on your body under the water. His large hand acted like it creating a path to your cunt, but right when he got to your pelvis, he changed direction and rubbed his hand down your thigh before sliding it back up, repeating that action.

"You're so mean to me sometimes..." He pouted, the hand he had holding your body against him slipping up to cup your breast, his large hand practically engulfing the entire thing as he slowly massaged it. "Satoru..." You whispered, your head pressing back against his chest. "I'm nothing but nice to you, y'know?" He continued, his hand alternating between pinching your nipple with his fingers and rubbing your entire tit in his palm.

You sighed as he touched you, your body melting under his touch. "But even though you're a bully..." Satoru's hand slid back up to your pelvis, he rubbed the area of skin right above your clit with his fingers, pressing down against the skin slowly, the same as he did when he fucked you and was trying to feel himself thrust inside you. You didn't even realize that your legs were spreading on instinct, making room for him to touch you.

You gasped quietly as you waited for him to touch you. The throbbing between your thighs was now pulsing rapidly with your need for relief the longer he teased you. "...I still want to make you feel good." He finished, his fingers releasing the pressure on your pelvis as they slid down to your pussy, his fingers finding your clit with ease as he started rubbing slow, teasing circles against it.

"Does that make me a pushover?" He whispered hotly against your ear as you gasped in a breath at the sudden striking pleasure. "Fuck-" You gasped, your eyes fluttering shut as he played with your little clit expertly, his other hand rubbing his index finger in circles around your areola, much the same pace as the one on your clit. "Hm? Does it baby?" Gojo asked, his greedy mouth sucking the shell of your ear into his mouth, his tongue teasing it as his lips suctioned around it, the sensation sending goosebumps down your body.

"I-I don't know." You whined, your brain not even registering what he was saying to you as he pleasured your body. He truly knew your body like the back of his hand, he knew each and every spot that had you whining and crying for him. "You don't know?" He repeated, leaving hot kisses against your ear as he sped up the circles on your clit, adding slightly more pressure at the same time.

"You aren't listening huh? That's so mean princess. I'm going out of my way to make you feel good even after you've bullied me, and you can't even listen to me?" He cooed, making his voice higher as he teased you. His index finger and thumb pinched around the hard bud of your nipple as he rolled it between his fingers. You squirmed against his body, your legs jerking every so often causing the water to slosh around you.

Your hand gripped Gojo's wrist which was working vehemently on your pussy, making jolts of electricity shock through your body. "S-Satoru... satoru that feels good." You whined, your hair tickling his skin as your head rubbed on his chest. Gojo smiled, switching his hand to massage your other breast. "You can't think of anything other than how good you feel, huh?" He asked, kissing the spot right behind your ear.

His cock was twitching against your back after each whine and moan you released. He was so grateful you were pressed so tightly against him, your squirming giving his cock significant release as your lower back rubbed all over him. "M-mhmm-" You responded, pressing your lips together as you opened your legs wider for him.

Gojo pressed kisses all over your neck and ear as he continued rubbing his fingers over your sensitive little bud, working you higher and higher toward your orgasm. "You're so soft. I missed you against me like this. I love holding you." Gojo whispered, his words too intimate for a fuckbudy to say, making you blush with embarrassment. "M-missed you too." You respond honestly, putting your pride aside. "You make me feel so good Satoru.." you praised, your words going straight to his cock.

"Yeah? I touch you so much better than you touch yourself huh?" He asked, his fingers quickening with his own excitement. "Y-yeah." You whine the word dragging out from between your lips. "I'm the only one who makes you feel this good, huh?" Satoru whispered, practically whining into your ear as he rutted his hips against your back.

You groaned in response, feeling yourself almost about to tip over the edge. His hand on your tit massaged harder as he humped against you faster, the water sloshing around your body, spilling onto the floor. "Say it baby, need you to say it," Gojo begged, increasing the pressure on your clit, making your legs jerk together, trying to close around his hand when you felt the hot coil of your release wind up impossibly tighter.

"O-only you Satoru only you. F-fuck fuck I'm cumming-" Your smaller hand tightens around his wrist as you hold onto him for dear life as your orgasm wracks through your body. Satoru chases you, keeping your body pressed to his when you jerk forward, your body trying to fold in on itself when the intensity of your high. "Oh good fucking girl, take it, baby, that's it, cum for me." Gojo groaned against your ear, his hand squeezing your tit as wave after wave of your orgasm washed over you.

Satoru's cock dripped pre-cum into the water when you came, his own arousal increasing tenfold as he watched you cum. You relaxed back against his chest when you came down from your high, your head falling limply on his chest as you gasped softly, trying to recover from such an intense orgasm. "That looked like it felt so good baby, good job." He praised, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Your face was flushed red with your arousal as you closed your eyes when you felt his lips touch you. "Thank you, Satoru. I really needed that." You said, rubbing your thumb on his wrist that had started caressing the spot where your thigh and hip meet. He hummed, kissing your head once more as he acknowledged your words, the hand on your tit still slowly massaging it in circles.

"Would you look at that..." Satoru spoke, making you turn your head to look up at him, wondering what he was looking at. He smirked down at you when he got a view of your face, his eyes making contact with your own. "The water is still hot." His smirk grew when you tsked and looked away from him, the white-haired man bursting into a fit of giggles as he wrapped his arms around your body.

4K notes · View notes

satorusdiary · 1 year ago

Text

dilf!toji being your ex bf

fluff & angst + making up + cuddling + toji not being able to resist you when you look so fragile + toji forever loving you

part 2! - back in love !

You sent 1:03 am

hey, r u awake?

toji places the cigarette back down on the ashtray, looking at his phone slightly shocked. it’s been months since you and him have had contact, the split up that has happened to your relationship has left a strain in his heart.

why did you text him at this hour? and most importantly, why aren’t you asleep? toji knows how well your sleep schedule usually was.

his friends look at him concerned, the look on toji’s face confusing them even more compared to when he stopped smoking repeatedly just a few seconds ago.

“fushiguro, you good?” satoru questions, patting his friends shoulder as he looks over at his friends phone. he wasn’t able to get a look at the message before toji pulls the phone into a direction that wasn’t able to be seen.

“yeah.. jus’ lemme call someone real quick.” before the rest of his friends could protest, toji is up and walking over to an empty room in the apartment. taking a seat on the bed.

Toji sent 1:09 am

thought i told you to lose my number

now that’s something he wouldn’t text you, he immediately starting regretting sending that message the second you immediately read the message.

you were his sweet little girl. the young woman who he swore he was gonna marry, the one he swore to have kids with.

things were different when he realized how much his life would have an impact on you if you stayed with him.

what’s good about a sweet girl who has a bright future getting with a older man selling illegal substances, that could send him to jail for years and years.

yeah not good at all.

toji knew what’s best for you, and if it meant him not being with you then it was worth it.

because he loved you, and would do physically anything in his power for you to have the best in life.

You sent 1:09 am

i know, i just need someone to talk to rn. i’m sorry

his heart weeps, you still want his comfort even after he has completely broke you, and your relationship with him.

he should be in jail for just breaking you in general.

toji sighs, not knowing how to reply. he wants to comfort you, yet he wants to push you away from his life. push you away from the trouble and the dangers that could happen to you.

he thinks you have given up until you text him 3 minutes later.

You sent 1:12 am

can i call you, please toji?

he couldnt deny it. he just couldnt. his love for you was simply unbreakable even if you weren’t together anymore.

his friends out in the living room are most likely concerned and worried for toji, but that’s the least of his problems. he needs to know if you’re okay, if you’re hurt.

‘incoming call from Toji’

he swears his heart skips a beat when the call goes through.

toji is not one to get nervous. especially with anything in general. but when it came to you, everything comes crashing down. when it comes to you, toji is willing to do anything for you, because you were his girl. his love.

“..hi” your voice is shaky, it seems you’re nervous as well. could he blame you though? this was the first time in months he has actually spoke to you.

“hey.” he replies, hoping you wouldn’t notice the weak tone in his voice as he spoke.

there’s a moment of silence, and soft breathing from your end before toji speaks up.

“are you ok? why’d you call me.”

it’s harsh, his tone is harsh. your eyes begin watering, and you hope he doesn’t notice.

“i-i am just having trouble sleeping, that’s all. ‘wanted your company atleast to calm me down.” your tone has a small strain, as if you were crying for hours before you called him.

it was as if he was able to see your puffy eyes through the screen, he could just imagine it now.

“there’s something else, hm? c’mon tell me, y’know i won’t judge.” especially with you. is what he wanted to say as-well, but he couldn’t get to soft with you now. he couldn’t.

he hears a sniffle from your end, feeling his heart clench once more. as if his heart is dropping to the bottom of his stomach.

“okay.. t-truth is i usually sleep better with you ‘round. but since you’re gone, ‘ts been kinda rough. i just wanted to call you for once, to see if it would help..” you confessed, voice breaking down in between sentences.

toji has an urge to put you down, and hang up. but he couldn’t, how could he resist you? especially after everything he has put you through.

the bracelet on his wrist that has your initials come into his vision. you had made this for him when he was sick, he has never took it off ever since.

“y’want me to come over? not gonna make contact, jus’ gonna be there til you sleep.” he says calmly, he swore he could’ve heard you sigh in relief.

“mhmm, yes please..” you’re still polite, his sweet girl is still sweet around him. that’s what he misses with you.

“alright’ be there in 10. jus know i’m never doin this shit again, kay?” he says harshly, too harsh.

you sniffle again, he could tell your frowning and having tears drop on your phone screen. his heart strings get tugged, and he calms his weeping heart.

he’s hurt you once again.

the call ends before you could say anything else, and he’s out of the bedroom quickly taking his keys. his friends look at him concerned.

“yo, you good?” suguru comments, looking up at his friend who was ready to leave the apartment.

“where you going?” satoru also questions.

toji shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh as he turns to look at his of friends once again.

“gonna be gone for a bit, see ya tomorrow?” he waves them off, and goes out the door before they could reply, or ask anymore questions.

he knows he said he would be at your place by 10 minutes, but he ends up arriving in 5 minutes. quickly at your door step, knocking on the door gently.

just as he predicted, you open the door almost immediately.

when he looks at you, he swears he could break down then and there. on your door step.

your eyes are puffy, you’re wearing his hoodie that he “accidentally” left at your home, and there were dried tear stains on your puffy cheeks.

he wanted to kiss your cheeks badly, and cradle you in his arms. but he resisted.

thats before you crash into his arms, immediately breaking down. hugging him tightly as if he was going to disappear again.

toji breaks, he can’t handle the cold act around you any longer.

“y/n? what’s wrong baby? speak to me..” toji coo’s, his harsh tone disappeared. you automatically feel comfort from his nice tone, something you missed.

there he is, the sweet older boyfriend you have always missed. the man who was your home, your protector, your everything.

“‘missed you s’much toji. miss being with you and megumi, i-i can’t sleep without thinking about how i could’ve been better for you.” you stutter repeatedly.

it was no lie that megumi missed you as well. the boy who is only 3 years old can not go a night without asking where you were, if you were coming back to him without breaking down. because you made the little boy feel loved.

toji’s heart breaks, now he notices how selfish he has been. yes he was protecting you, but he also broke you so much. regret seeps into his body, he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly.

“‘s not your fault sweets, you were more than enough for me. c’mon, let’s go to bed.” he murmurs, picking you up bridal style and walks towards your bedroom. the door behind him shutting closed.

the photo of you both happily together was still on your night stand, toji’s heart breaks for the millionth time in the past hour.

his side of the bed was cold, as if you never slept on it. that’s because it felt wrong sleeping on that side, knowing it once belonged to him.

you continue crying as you’re placed on the bed, still in toji arms. he’s careful with you, placing kisses on your face and rubbing your body to give you his heat.

“i-i miss you.. s’much.” you repeat, looking up at him for the first time with clear sight. tears drying back on your cheeks.

he gives you a sad smile and kisses both of your cheeks, sticky with tears.

“i miss you more sweetheart, missed my little girl s’much.. ‘l’ll explain everythin to you tomorrow, kay?” he questions, caressing your cold cheek.

the smile you give him is sad, but could easily melt the coldness in his heart.

after you nod he places a kiss on your lips, before pulling you closer, your head on his chest while is head is rested on top of yours.

the night goes by, and your soft snores fill the room. toji’s eyes are still glued onto the photo of you both, looking so happy, so dumb and in love.

he is gonna make that happen again, only for you. he’d figure out everything else soon, his priority was now you.

“i love you, missed you more than anything. baby.” he whispers quietly, placing one last kiss to your temple before drifting off to sleep.

for the first time in months he is able to sleep with no bad feelings, or any nightmares.

that is because you’re by his side, by his side to push away all the bad thoughts. by his side to make him feel loved again.

Jujutsu Kaisen masterlist

part 2 - back in love !

a/n: don’t mind typos pls, it’s like 3:47 am😭😭

11K notes · View notes

deadrlngers · 2 years ago

Text

OC DUALITY + TRAGEDY ROLE

i was tagged by @risingsh0t @morvaris @devilbrakers to take this quiz and by @indorilnerevarine and @girlbosselrond to take this other quiz for my ocs. thank you all soso much!!!

i'm super late to this and i'm sure these already made rounds so i'm tagging whoever wants to do this <3

— oc duality:

god-hungry scientist and their abominable child

you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die it and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.

bandmates with firecracker sexual chemistry

you are like shooting stars. you are misguided and magnetic and drawn to your loves without hesitation. something about you gulps down anything it finds. and you're fun, and you stick your tongue out to anyone, and we love you for it with kisses and pulls of the hair. you will be remembered in fascination and jealousy. you are unforgettable.

— tragedy role:

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

tortured love interest

you're so hot. sorry about the horrors. you're the kind of person people immediately notice. whether you have a distinct style, are more outgoing, or are just plain beautiful, you make an impression. people usually feel the need to protect you, which probably frustrates you to no end. you're not weak! you're not fragile! you're not helpless! but the people in your life tend to disagree. maybe it's your lover, the protagonist, trying to keep you out of their own turmoil. maybe it's someone responsible for you in some way, keeping you away from your lover, while they head down an increasingly dark path. regardless, all you really want is a sense of autonomy! unfortunately, you're very likely to die before that happens. the audience will be so caught up in the grief your death causes the protagonist that they forget to grieve you as a person. you deserved better, but unfortunately this is not your story. maybe it should have been.

#tag games #oc: vesper #oc: fenix #oc: violante #oc: ruven #going off about the results in the tags now sorry <3 #vesper's making me insane like. 'you stitched something together inside of yourself' // 'and now it won't die and you can't kill it because #part of you loves it' much johnny vibes here haha xoxo killing myself u know. the concept itself of sharing so much with him bc they are #forced together that when he's gone it's like a part of her is gone too. i'm fine <3 now it won't die and you can't kill it BC IT'S FOREVER #A PART OF YOU!!! DYING. fenix's one made me :') just my boy being loved for once in his life love that for u king #the tragedy role ones are so funny bc it's literally all SO TRUEEEE #every single word for violante is so real. she's evil okay we must admit that. she does fucked up shit but bc there's so much fucked #up shit behind her which yea. i'm excusing her actions i'm promoting them even #ruven's is literally soooooo funny. diagnosed with love interest of the main protagonist (violante) JFHFDSKJFNSDKJ SO REAL #even if they aren't actually lovers but toxic bitches still that 'you want a sense of autonomy' (=desire for power. trying to kill vio for #it) 'you're very likely to die before that happens' (=vio killing him before he can kill her). okay king we are all crying for u sorry #that happened but let's be honest here he deserved it. he's terrible. violante was terrible. they had each other for a while at least <3

7 notes · View notes

orchid3a · 2 years ago

Text

YOU DIDN'T TEACH ME HOW TO FORGET YOU. ( childe x reader, part two )

╰┈➤ you never thought your lover was hiding something so cruel from you.

pairings — childe / tartaglia x fem!reader.

warnings — reader is a ragnvindr (not specified whether adopted or not, so it's up to you), reader have an anemo vision, reader and childe are 20, kaeya is older than diluc (personal headcanon of mine lmao), lumine is the traveler, HEAVY ANGST with some small amounts of fluff, yandereish behavior, possessiveness, a battle, injuries and scar mentions, violence, suggestiveness and smut descriptions.

word count — 8.5k

notes — phew, this was a long ride!!! don't worry, there will be a part three coming soon to your dash and more genshin fics from me too !!!!

find part one here.

if anybody told you what would transpire when you agreed to go to liyue with the traveler and paimon, you would’ve laughed on their faces without a second thought.

seeing ajax again had always been a fever dream — sometimes you thought he was a fever dream, but the lost pair of your mother’s earring was the reminder that he existed in your past. in your memories, once, but now he was here, and you were with him. you could feel his warmth beneath your palms, feel his breath in your neck whenever his arms held you while you prepared breakfast, you could look at his eyes and memorize every shade of blue present on his orbs to never forget again. you could hear his voice whispering soothing words in your ear every night before sleep, hear his melodic and boyish laugh and be infected by it, following in with your own happy sounds.

but, just like his vision, he was just water reflecting your own face — it didn’t matter how much you tried to reach, you never could reach him. the ajax you met when you were only eight, the little boy who helped you find your family. you understand that boy had already been killed by life just like the little girl you were once was when crepus ragnvindr died in your brother’s arms, but you still saw that boy when ajax was ajax.

it was fitting for someone with two names to be two different persons.

childe and ajax were two different persons, even though they were the same. childe was charming and arrogant, reckless and confident in his abilities. you liked that version of him, with his confident smile and smooth words — it made him look like the knight in shining armor of the stories your mother used to read for you, and childe always managed to make you flustered and sigh like a young girl in love. but you preferred ajax, the side of him that only came out when you two were in the confines of his house, skin to skin, breathless whispers of declarations of love and desperate kisses. he was there when your head was on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while his hands were drawing circles on your skin, lips open to tell you about what happened in the years you two were away from each other.

you learned how childe was born in a night like that, when ajax told you what happened when he was fourteen.

your heart hurt and bled for him, hearing him tell how he fell into the abyss and was rescued and trained by a swordswoman named skirk, while his hands played with your hair while the moonlight hit the both of you — he didn’t tell you much about what happened in the three months he spent there, but you could imagine how tourtours it was for a fourteen-year-old child. it was the same age when your brother rose to be a captain in the knights of favonius, and you remembered how much he changed after that. it wasn’t the best comparison, but it was what you could relate to. he also told you how his father wanted him to join the fatui, as a way to tame his actions, but ajax wanted to conquer the world by himself, without the help of any organization.

but the fatui recruited him, nonetheless, making him work at their bank as some kind of mercenary, always ready to attack those with unpaid debts. he didn’t mind, he told you, as he loved the thrill of battles and that was an excuse to train to become stronger and stronger and achieved his dream of conquering the world and be an adventurer — but you could feel that something was wrong, but you couldn’t pinpoint what, and didn’t want to bring more sad memories of his to surface. ajax was glad you weren’t looking at his eyes, because he knew you would be able to see the guilty reflection of them, see the outline of the lies leaving his lips. but he needed you at his side, even though for a short amount of time. he was ready for the day when his lies would be discovered, his heart already healed of the heartbreaking he would go through when you started hating him.

it was what he deserved.

that night, too, he heard about how you gained your vision.

it hurt to see how open and sincere you were with him while he built lies above little truths, but his heart felt even more heavy knowing how much his peers affected your life. you told him how you left your home, worried about the lateness of your father and brother, only to find your father nowhere to be seen, while both of your brothers were fighting, ice against fire and your heart shattering for your family. you tried to scream and stop the fight, but nothing seemed to work — only when the wind in all mondstadt stopped and it seemed to be commanded by you. you only wanted to make them stop, but your wind was also what broke them apart and took kaeya away from home, and what took diluc on his mission to uncover his and yours father’s death.

it was a delusion what killed him, you told ajax, even though he knew everything about crepus ragnvindr’s death — he didn’t mean to pry in dottore’s papers, but what he could do when he saw your father’s name there? he still couldn’t understand why killing him was important, but his heart broke when he read number two’s reports. your name was there, signaling your relationship with the target and your new vision and, when your brother’s name became a discussed matter between his harbingers colleagues, he tried to stay away from it as much as he could.

you finished your story with your arms tightening around him, afraid that he could disappear just like your father once did — and he brought your face closer to his, kissing the tears away and whispering sweet words of comfort. it was all that he could do, already knowing that someday you would need such a comfort again but because of his actions. but he didn’t want you between another man’s arms. you were his and would always be, even if it was just an illusion, even if it was just the ghost of a memory like you always had been.

what would he do when you finally discovered the truth?

—

you almost did, once, and he was sure you knew by the second time.

the first time was when you and zhongli met.

childe wasn’t happy to take you to meet another man. not that he didn’t believe in your love for him, but he knew how beautiful and charming you were — and zhongli was handsome and charming too, and maybe he was insecure and afraid that, for some perverse reasons, you would see that the older man was a better match for you. he was so lost in his own thoughts and scenarios, that he never thought about warning zhongli to not say a word about his involvement with the fatui. however, they still need to meet, and ajax couldn’t leave you alone at his house.

he didn’t know when you were going to leave him, and he needed to make his time with you as best as possible.

but he couldn’t help and feel a sense of pride when strolling with you through liyue harbor’s streets, all the eyes, from the elderly to the youth, eyeing you two. of course, you made a beautiful couple — both you and ajax were young and strong, and in love. everyone could see the feeling intertwined with every single one of your actions. from the side eyes, to the touches and to the words, love surrounded you and childe like a shield.

however, he wasn’t sure if he liked the look on zhongli’s face.

he couldn’t decipher it and, while you introduced yourself to his acquaintance, he tried to not dwell much on it. “y/n ragnvindr, it’s a pleasure to meet you, mr. zhongli. childe speaks highly of you.” sometimes zhongli appeared in the anecdotes he told while your head was resting on his chest and his hands playing with your hair, just like the night you both shared your biggest secrets. he tried not to get into details that could speed up the inevitable end of your relationship, but the giggles and curious sounds that escaped your lips whenever he told you about his day always made him tell more than he was intended to.

“ragnvindr?” the curious tone on zhongli’s voice made your eyebrows raise and your head to tilt slightly to the side, which made childe’s chest to rumble with a chuckle. “you are, perhaps, the heiress of the dawn winery?”

you giggled, and ajax needed to fight the ugly green monster of jealousy. though, your giggles for him were more sweet and genuine, sounds that could rival columbina’s singing. “i’m, indeed! my older brother, diluc, is the current head of your family and i’m his heir.” you answered, exciting shining in your eyes. even though he was jealous, childe loved seeing you like that, too — talking and interacting with others. “have you ever drank dandelion wine, mr. zhongli?” it was a question you always asked when meeting new people, ajax came to learn. it was cute and endearing, how you cared that much for your family’s legacy.

he, on the other hand, couldn’t ask people if they ever had fished on ice.

“of course. i have some acquaintances back in mondstadt, lady ragnvindr.”

the chat progressed to your hometown, a place where young ajax always dreamed to conquer first, just to see you again. though, as much as zhongli was entertaining you, business were always business, and his attention slowly changed to childe — he tried to explain as much a he could the transactions without giving this true identity away, but zhongli almost spilled about his position as the eleventh harbinger.

“i hope your harbingers colleagues will find this business as formidable as i did, childe.”

he bid farewell to you two, and childe noticed that you were a bit more distant in the way back home, his eyes widening for a fraction of seconds when realization hit him of how you interpreted zhongli’s words.

“y/n, my beloved.” he made you both stop under the moonlight, placing your hand over his heart. “why aren’t you smiling at me? are you having doubts about my words because of what zhongli said?” you should. you really should have, because ajax was nothing but a liar. he watched as you averted your eyes to his chest, your cheeks rosy and lips forming a pout.

“no… i just… i would never forgive you if you lied to me, ajax.”

too bad, wasn’t it? your words resonated inside him while he kissed you and held you against his chest, soothing and reassuring words leaving his lips as if his heart wasn’t being eaten inside out by guilt.

—

the second time was even more dangerous.

it was on a warm night, when lumine and paimon were already back from their journey to search for the adepti to prove their innocence, now helping zhongli to the rite of parting. you tried to be of help, too, but both lumine and zhongli said they were fine without help, so your hopes of having a daily adventure were crushed by gentle hands. you resorted to your normal life in liyue, helping citizens and exploring nearby areas — sometimes, now, with paimon and the traveler as your companions — and then waited for ajax at home, wondering what he had planned for you two.

however, he was late. later than he ever was, the stars already in the sky and your heart hurting from worrying about him.

whenever he knew he was going to be late, he always sent a messenger to meet you, normally one of the kids playing near the sea, to inform you of what was happening in his job and what were his plans. but no child approached you during the day, and you now found yourself at the familiarity of his house, a place that you grew to be comfortable with, that now had the same sense of home the hard walls of dawn winery had. you were restless, of course, and when the moon started to shine on the bed you shared with your lover, you knew you had to do something.

your feet led you to the northland bank, yet your heart beat with both fear and excitement with the thought of entering a fatui lair.

it was a place you knew that you were never supposed to go in, but you remembered it. your father always climbed up the red stairs that led to the bank, even though, at the time, neither you nor your brothers knew what it was. your father only told you three he had business with the men inside the place, and never in your wildest dreams you would think it was a fatui bank — and you couldn’t understand why your father needed them. the winery and the tavern were enough to make your family rich, as you knew from helping diluc with some paperwork.

maybe it was power he wanted. you couldn’t blame your father for it, as a man without a vision in teyvat needed other ways to assert dominance over his peers, and maybe the fatui were the ones who could give him what he wanted. but the same power he wanted was the power that took his life, according to diluc’s and kaeya’s testimony. a device that pretended to be a vision was what your father used to kill a deadly monster to save your brother, even though diluc was one of the most skillful swordsmen you ever knew.

fathers would always be fathers, it seemed.

just like snezhnaya, the northland bank was cold, and you could feel it from the outside, even though liyue was hotter than mondstadt, a fact that you enjoyed pretty much. however, the goosebumps weren’t because of the chilly air — you were nervous. it was dead in the night and nobody was in the street, probably inside their homes enjoying a warm meal with their family. the fatui guard eyed you from head to toe and, even though your heart was imitating a drum’s beat from how quickly it beat, all the etiquette’s lessons you had in your childhood were playing their part. you knew how to hold your head high, high enough that no question was asked before the guard opened the door, just a nod that made your earring tingle in your ear.

maybe he recognized it. only one person in teyvat had the other pair.

you stood in the middle of the room, eyes scanning the architecture of it. you weren’t well versed in snezhnayan culture — maybe for the lack of it in the books of your home, due to the closeness of the region, or because your father was too afraid his children to know his obscure business — but the inside of the northland bank was mesmerizing. though you couldn’t appreciate much of it before someone was clearing their throat in front of you, a smile too sweet adorned a woman’s face. she wore a fatui uniform, her eyes hidden due to her mask, and you assumed her to be the bank’s receptionist.

“may i help you, ma’am?” you smiled back, all the years of etiquette lessons making you polite even to your enemies.

“yes, of course.” you answered in a neutral voice, your eyes fixed on her form — too fixed on her to notice another figure approaching you two. “i’m looking for childe. we live together, you see, and he hasn’t returned yet.” you didn’t try to say the word worried, but you were sure the receptionist understood your motives. the smile on her face became even sweeter, which made your gut to shrink.

“oh, master childe just returned from a mi—”

“is this tartaglia’s little pet?” if you found the receptionist's sweet smile to be unpleasant, just that feminine voice brought despair to your bones. the woman before you seemed to freeze to, and you turned your head siglithy to the side, being met by a vision of a fatui woman — and, by the way she walked and talked, and judging by the receptionist reaction, she was probably a harbinger, or someone with a high rank. you tried to smile at her, maintaining the façade of lady ragnvindr for a little while.

“i wouldn’t say pet, ma’am.” you tried to reason, turning your body towards her. “lover should be more appropriate for what we are.”

her eyes were as icy as her voice, and, if you were not mistaken, she had the same characteristics as the woman who attacked lumine and venti a while ago back in mondstadt — she was, indeed, a fatui. probably la signora, if you weren’t mistaken. however, you were there to retrieve childe to yours and his home, even though the name she called him brought more questions to your heart than it should have.

“a pet from mondstadt, on top of that.” you had to slightly lift your neck to be able to meet her eyes due to her new proximity, noticing that the receptionist was nowhere to be seen now, hopefully going to notice childe of your arrival. the smirk on her face was a bit frightening, blood-curdling even, but she was just a woman — like yourself. she could be more powerful than you were, of course, but you still had some chances with your vision and sword training from your youth. “tell me, how is that bard faring?” at the mention of venti, you gritted your teeth, hand ready to summon your polearm, wind tickling in your fingers, the power that celestia granted you burning through your veins. you didn’t understand what were the motives of the fatui to attack him, but he was special and a target for them. “don’t even try it, foolish girl. i wonder what he’ll do if i kill you, hm?”

before you could react, she had your jaw between her cold hands, pointy nails digging holes in the soft flesh of your cheeks, blade pressed to your neck and warm blood coming from a small scratch — only superficial, but a warning. however, as soon as she started to press her blade deep in your flesh, you heard his voice.

“let her go, signora.” ajax was there, bloodied and injured, the receptionist trailing behind him. she gave you a worried look while your lover walked to where you were, his voice imposing and commanding, a tone you never heard coming from his mouth before. it made you wonder if he was only just a civilian working in the bank, but you were fearing more for your life now than for the questions in your heart — though you hoped signora couldn’t see the fear you were feeling reflecting in your eyes, but instead the stupid bravery every ragnvindr possessed in their hearts.

she scoffed. “what are you going to do, childe?” even though she was complaining, she took the blade from your neck, her pure strength making you fall to the ground when she let you go from her hold — maybe it was the position you were always supposed to be in. you weren’t diluc and would never be. what was in your head to think you were able to go against a fatui harbinger?

you put a hand over your chest, feeling it rising and falling with your breaths, tears glossing your vision — you needed to calm yourself, because you were alive. ajax would never let anything happen to you, you knew that, of course you did. but what if he hadn’t arrived in time? you would die without the proper goodbyes to your family, without seeing him once more, just like your father.

too focused in trying to calm your erratic heart, you failed to notice the interaction between the two fatui in front of you.

signora had a hand on tartaglia’s shoulder, her lips a few inches away from his ear, as if she was telling a secret to your lover. but anybody in the room could hear her words. “end the ragnvindr pet, tartaglia. do with her what dottore did with her father, and what pierro should’ve ordered one of us to do with her brother.”

ajax didn’t even wait for her to end her words before he was rushing towards your form, his strong arms and warmth enveloping you, his hand bringing your head to rest on his chest. you were alive, alive and well, and he couldn’t ask for anything more. when he saw rosalyne with her blade on your neck he feared the worst, and he was ready to kill her if she did anything to you. “i’m going to kill her, i’m going to kill her for you, don’t worry. she’ll never touch you again.” he whispered in your hair, his lips pressing kisses and murmuring words of comfort until you stopped shaking between his arms.

you took one of his hands to rest on your chest and he felt tears glossing his vision when he felt your heartbeat between his fingertips, your forehead now resting against his and your warm breath tickling his cheeks. “i’m alright, ajax. i’m alright.”

you both knew it was a lie.

—

you didn’t remember how you arrived at home.

you were doing everything on automatic, allowing him to guide through the harbor’s streets, his big coat over your shoulders to hide your injury, the now cold air of the lowest hours of the night still making your nose and cheeks cold. you couldn’t think of anything else but what happened, of how foolish you were — maybe diluc was right. maybe you weren’t supposed to ever leave dawn winery, the world outside of it too dangerous for you to survive alone. but you weren’t alone and, for the second time, ajax was the one who saved you.

when your consciousness returned to you, you were sitting at your and his bed, ajax towering over you with a wet cloth cleaning your neck. signora hadn’t injured you that badly, just a superficial cut on your skin, the bleeding had already stopped, but it had stained your skin and ajax couldn’t support seeing you like that. you were hurt because of him, because he didn’t remember to fetch some of the kids to send you a small note, or even go himself to where you were to tell you he was going to arrive late. his own injuries were now numb, and he couldn’t care about his wellbeing.

as soon as he was finished, he sat at your side, his hand enveloping your own, his thumb feeling your pulse — an indication that you were alive. “i’m sorry.” you blurted out, voice small as if you were a little child again, asking forgiveness for your father after you had cut diluc’s hair with a pair of scissors after he had screamed at you.

“you’re alive, my beloved, and that’s what matters to me.” he kissed your knuckles, the words tickling your skin as if they were small needles made especially to hurt you. you knew, now, that ajax was part of the fatui and a harbinger, too. but it was an elephant in the room that you didn’t want to talk about, that loomed over the two of you, doomed to end the beautiful relationship you two had.

but not now.

you started to unbutton his shirt, frowning at the winces leaving his lips due to the pain of his own cuts and hematomas. how could you have been so blind? all the scars he wore like a champion, all the training he did, all the prestige he had at the bank — it was obvious that your ajax wasn’t just a civilian who hunted down debtors, and you should’ve known that. but love was blind, and you were sure the love archon especially blinded your eyes to all the signs of his lies and the non liveliness of his blue orbs.

after all, he was one of her most loyal subjects.

you took the damp cloth from where he left it and started to clean his skin, fingers tracing amorously the white lines over his pale skin, feeling the skin tighten with the soft ministrations of your fingertips, kissing the freckles of his shoulders. his back was now facing you, his chest already cleaned of any dry blood, but a new scar adorned his back — big and now as the same color of the wine produced in your family’s winery, another scar to his collection. “i’m going to kill whoever did this to you.” you murmured against the skin of his neck, your hands around his shoulders and face hide on the crook of his neck. his whole body vibrated with a chuckle, a sound that was both mocking you and encouraging you.

how could you kill something that managed to hurt a harbinger when you couldn’t even defeat one?

and you didn’t even know who you would kill. the one who gave him the new scar or the one who made his eyes so lifeless, so different from the ones you remembered from your childhood?

you kissed his neck before getting up to get bandages to his injuries, watching his face. would that be the last time you ever saw him, now that you knew the truth? not everything he was hiding from you, but the most crucial parts. would tartaglia let you live now, or would you meet your end in the hands of the one you loved the most? you were sure you were now an enemy of the fatui, just like your brother was — however, would any connection your father once had with them be able to save you of whatever insult you committed against signora?

the questions in your mind made your hand work slower, but ajax couldn’t care. he knew the time with you was now limited, and he would make sure that you left liyue as soon as you could — he couldn’t bear the idea of you dying by his sword, or any sword, and, if saving you meant becoming an enemy of one of his colleagues, he would gladly accepted what fate had estoraged for him. you finished tending to his wounds and he sighed, his strong arms bring you closer to his chest. you nuzzled at his bare skin like a kitten, and he tightened his hold around you, afraid that you could disappear in the air just with the first sound of his voice.

but he needed to try.

“i love you.” he felt like the same ajax he was before he fell into the abyss, the same ajax his father was afraid was too weak for the world outside the family’s cottage. his voice was small and quiet, so unlike him but, at the same time, so endearing too. he waited for your protests, harsh words and screams — but all he received was kisses and tender words, and he couldn’t believe how unfair he was to you. he should’ve told you the truth as soon as you told him about your father, but the fear of losing you clouded his better judgment and mind. now, he would lose the best part of himself by his own fault.

“i love you, too.” you whispered against his lips, your hands holding his face while his were placed on your waist, both of your bodies so close to each other as if you were just one.

that night, you never felt ajax so desperate.

he had always been feverish for your touch and your body, ever since you gave yourself fully to him. he always enjoyed having his face buried between your thighs or between your breasts, especially when he seemed to have a hard day at work — before, you thought he had to collect the debts from either dangerous or vulnerable people, but know you knew it was the work of a harbinger the culprit of his feelings. or was the guilt consuming him? you didn’t care then and you couldn’t even care now, not when he drew moan after moan from you, when he made you feel so full of his seed that you never wanted to be separated from him ever again.

that night, too, he held you tighter than usual, afraid that you would leave him in the middle of the night. his kiss, something you were so used to before bed, now was suffocating, as if you were under a column of hydro vision, just like his own.

even though you wanted nothing more than to return to your home in the winery, the air inside his house was too suffocating because it smelled like him, you couldn’t. your love for him was what kept you caged between his arms, like the deadliest curse the tsaritsa herself picked especially for you.

—

ajax drowned himself in his work, and you couldn’t blame him.

he was too kind to ask you to go away, you thought. or he loved you too much, or he enjoyed the way you still spoiled him. he always had a package of lunch waiting for him when he left before the sun rose, and he had a plate of dinner waiting for him whenever he arrived when the moon was high in the sky. sometimes, you would wake up to ajax fingers caressing your skin, his arms loose around your form. you would always scoot closer to him, trying to enjoy the warmth you were being denied by the circumstances of your situation on a daily basis.

you wrote to diluc, once, telling him about your journeys and the fact that you would return home sooner than expected. you said nothing about what happened, because it was clear that your brother would know something happened as soon as he looked in your eyes when you returned.

your only solace was your newfound friendship with zhongli, and lumine’s and paimon’s presence during the day.

they all knew something had happened you and childe, denounced by paimon’s question as soon as you appeared in front of them without the familiar glint of happiness your eyes had and the smile adorning your lips — but zhongli, being the gentleman you discovered him to be, changed the subject as soon as your eyes started to shine with tears. he knew, of course he knew. even the traveler and her flying companion knew about childe’s involvement with the fatui, and you wondered how blind you were.

but zhongli always managed to take your mind out of it whenever you started to dwell in your thoughts, always asking about mondstadt — you came to know, in one of your strolls in the harbor with him, that he and a well-known bard in your brother’s tavern were acquaintances, and he managed to coax a laugh out of your lips in the expanse of venti, the sound now strange and bitter in your mouth.

however, not even the bit of normalcy and happiness that zhongli gave you was enough to keep you glued to liyue, and you wished to leave it as soon as possible. lumine and paimon were aware of your decision and, even though they were sad to see you go and the thought of traveling the continent together was crushed, they still understood.

“paimon will make him feel the wrath… the wrath of the paimon, y/n! don’t worry!” it was the last words you heard from her, lumine at her side with a sorrowful expression on her face — though her eyes were understanding. you were sure you would meet them again, or even send letters whenever you could. they were your friends, after all.

but it seemed that fate wanted to play with you, as the day you chose to return home was the day an ancient god was unleashed over the harbor.

you sighed, watching the once clear skies now a dark shade of gray, the faint sound of crashing waves now much closer than normal — childe’s house was closer to the bank, in the more lively part of the city — but that wouldn’t stop you. you needed to leave before ajax arrived and saw your leaving form, a letter being what would explain to him what was in your mind. you knew that, at the first pleading that could leave his mouth, your resolve would break and you would stay.

and you couldn’t.

you looked back once more, watching the door of the house that you called home for almost two months. it was strange, how quickly things could change, and how much something could affect you. the fact that ajax was a fatui, let alone a harbinger, wasn’t even a problem anymore — by the calculations you did in your head, he wasn’t in the organization when your father was killed by them, and, if he was, he didn’t have anything to do with it — but the lie was. you kind understood where he was coming from, but what else he was hiding from you? what else would he hide from you if you decided to forgive him?

you needed some time to think, and that time won’t be fruitful if you were in his presence.

a small smile formed in your lips and you turned around once more, eyes down and itching with tears glossing your vision. the pain in your chest was worse than any other heartbreak you ever experienced in your life — death was always sad, yes, especially unexpected ones, but it was easier to come to terms with such a situation than the one you were going through now. grieving a dead loved one was far easier than mourning one that was well and alive, with their heart beating and chest rising and failing with each breath they took.

ajax would always be a part of you, but now, perhaps, a part of you that would never be yours again.

“y/n? where… where are you going?”

you closed your eyes, fighting the urge to look back at him. if you did, you knew you would run straight to his arms.

“home.” that was what you could muster to answer him. “i left a letter for you explaining my—”

“your home is here.” he cut you, a coldness in his voice that you were sure could rival the snowstorms of his homeland. “your home is here, with me.” it was, once. but now you weren’t so sure if it had been, or if it would be again.

“my brothers need me.” you need them, too. you needed to feel the safety and the comfort the company of kaeya and diluc brought you, the warmth of diluc’s arms holding you safely between them and the easy laughter that kaeya always managed to coax from you since your father welcomed him in the family. you needed to be in a place where you knew who the people walking besides you were, and not to think everyone was an enemy.

“and what about me, y/n?”

nothing could ever prepare you for the hurt that laced his voice, though it felt more like a whip in your bare flesh, wounding it to the point of no return. you took a deep breath, turning your body to look at him — he deserved a proper goodbye. his eyes looked even more lifeless now, the small glint of shine it used to have on it whenever you were around was long gone now. “ajax…” you didn’t know what to say, only wanting to leave liyue harbor as soon as you could.

but, taking another glance at his appearance, you couldn’t help but worry about him. it seemed that he was freshly out of a battle — though you didn’t have a good feeling about who he was fighting — and you suspect he wanted to arrive home and find your waiting arms to soothe him. “don’t go. don’t leave me, please.” he wasn’t one to beg, but he didn’t know what to do to keep you at his side anymore. childe took an hesitant step towards you, heart clenching when he watched you taking another one back.

that wouldn’t end well. the remnants of the foul legacy were still running through his blood, making him angry at you for reacting that way. ajax was protecting you from your own foolishness — as soon as rosalyne knew you were not within his protection anymore, she’d lay her claws over you and take your life. and he couldn’t lose you, he couldn’t. why weren't you seeing that? why you wanted to leave him, like you did all these years ago, running straight to your father’s arms without looking back at him?

was he not enough for you? would he ever be enough for you?

before he could think better, his dual blades were already being summoned, the scared look on your face only fueling his anger. it was an ugly feeling, boiling and burning inside his chest. however, on the outside, all you could see was your beloved ajax with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, his brows furrowed and his blades on his hands.

you weren’t a fool. you had angered him, and even though fighting with him was a foolish decision — he was a harbinger of the tsaritsa, after all — you wouldn’t be able to escape such a fate. dropping your bags to the ground and deep a deep breath, you soon felt the weight of your polearm in your hand, the weapon that diluc gifted you after you received your vision and physical training was required. jean was the one who trained you all those years ago, and you couldn’t be more grateful for her now.

“i love you.” you whispered before indulging in his desires, anemo and hydro vision shining on your bodies.

“i love you, too.”

—

the sound of polearm against sword wasn’t a strange thing for you, but anybody could see how less experienced than your opponent was. childe was used to dueling with his enemies more than you, a girl who was sheltered her whole life by both father and brother, who only received training because of a vision earned when she saw herself faced with more despair than she ever felt. his experience was shown in the way he moved gracefully, how his swords seemed to be at home between his fingers — unlike your polearm, that still felt strange whenever you wield it.

you tried not to think too much, focusing on the teachings jean passed down to you.

keep your head clear, just trust your body and everything will be fine.

however, those words weren’t helping you. you couldn’t help and not feel the gut-wrenching feeling of sadness that had installed in your chest when you noticed he would never let you go alive, your thoughts clouding your best judgment. you couldn’t hurt him, the idea of being the one to give him another scar to his collection making you sick — though, it didn’t seem like ajax shared your thoughts. you already had a cut on your cheek that you knew it would scar, and more wounds all over your body that you were sure none of your brothers ever had received being knights. him, on the other hand, just had a bit of blood coming down from the side of his face, and you didn’t know if it was the consequences of his other battle or caused by you.

you cried when you felt one of his swords cutting your flesh, anemo elemental energy throwing him away from you. “ajax, please, stop.” you tried to plead, hand traveling down to press on your thigh to try to apply pressure to your new wound.

but the adrenaline of the battle was still running on his blood, and his hand was in your neck in no time, pushing your body until it hit the nearest wall, your feet some centimeters away from the ground.

you start to trash around in his touch, hands unsuccessfully trying to get yourself free from his hold. was he really going to choke you until death? you couldn’t understand what prompted him to hate you that much — was that all a plan to attack your brother, due to his status as an enemy of the fatui. did he really love you? or did the fatui explored his connection with you in the past to bring their vengeance to life?

however, the sadness shining in his eyes told you otherwise.

“please.” you tried to say with the last breath that you had, black points already appearing in your vision and his face blurred by the tears in your eyes.

you could see the outline of a sad smile on his lips. “i’m sorry, my beloved.” you felt a pair of lips on your forehead, the hand that wasn’t on your neck caressing your now scarred cheek. “i will always love you.” you couldn’t see the tears dripping down his lifeless eyes, a feeling that ajax hadn’t felt in years. when it was the last time he cried? when he thought he was going to die when he fell down in the abyss? he couldn’t remember.

now, however, seeing the life leaving your body was enough to make his frozen heart to melt and break. rosalyne’s words resonated in his head — it was better to die by his hands, a slow and painless death, than to hers. tartaglia knew she would let all of her rage fall upon you, and he couldn’t bear to see what was going to happen if you became her victim.

“what is happening here, childe?”

a deep voice startled him, his hand leaving your neck to welcome one his swords again. you body fell limp to the ground, though ajax still could see a faint rise and fall of your chest. you were still alive — your body wouldn’t be another one on his count.

when he turned around to meet the owner of the familiar voice, ajax was met with zhongli’s startled face, his eyes widened, rage dancing on them like a foreign dancer presenting their talents, and brows furrowed. and it seemed like his senses came back to him, no trace of foul legacy inside him anymore, and he noticed what he had done. his tears were now falling freely from his eyes, his heart break and twisting and making breathing more difficult.

he was sure the archons sent zhongli to meet you both. because now you could live.

he took your body between his arms, trying to enjoy the last time he would hold you as close as that, walking towards the older man. “take her, please. i beg you, zhongli, take her and send her back to her mondstadt.” he pleaded, holding your body close to his chest. “i’ve committed the highest sin, and i can’t let the destiny that was bestowed upon her become a reality.”

it seemed as if zhongli understood what he was saying, though not entirely if his slightly furrowed brows had something to say, his arms ready to welcome you. ajax, albeit reluctantly, passed your body to zhongli’s waiting arms, your blood now a dark spot on his shirt and jacket, staining his hands and fingers — he always had enjoyed the sight of blood adorning his skin, especially those from his enemies, but your blood was like a venom corroding his skin until it was only bones. the smell was nauseating, and he felt like throwing up. “please, go. you will understand when the time comes, zhongli.” he couldn’t bear to see the state that he, himself, had put you in. hadn’t he promised to protect you until the end of time? that was his protection?

the other man only nodded, in a loss of words, walking away from childe, hurriedly, with your body between his arms. he knew childe could be quite bloodthirsty and feral, but never with you. his dead eyes even gained a spark whenever he was around you, and the smiles that adorned his face in your presence were the most real ones zhongli ever saw on the younger man's face. in all his almost four thousand years, morax had never witnessed a lover almost killing another — though he suspected childe’s work as a fatui had something to do with his sudden change in behavior.

you only started to give signs of being awake a few meters away from the harbinger’s house, though you didn’t try to trash around or get away from his hold. you seemed defeated, as if you had already accepted death. “... where…?” your voice was hoarse, probably from the choking childe had put you on, the mark of his hands still visible on your skin.

“it’s zhongli, my dear. i will take you to a safe place. you are safe now.”

—

it took you some hours to regain consciousness again, your mind a mix between remembering what happened and dreaming that your lover was still with you, holding your body close to his and whispering loving words in your ear.

however, when you finally broke free from the state you were in, the unfamiliar mattress under you and the coldness of the blankets over your body were a cruel reminder that your dreams were only that — feverish dreams of a time that you weren’t sure were true from ajax’s side. because your feelings for him were, the most truthful sentiments you ever felt in your entire life, and now they were providing you the most sorrowful emotions a human being could feel. your heart wasn’t broken, as it was crushed. crushed to the point that it was just dust now, and even if you wished you could mend it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

“here, have some tea.” zhongli’s voice took you from your thoughts, and you only nodded, not knowing if he had said anything before it. “are you feeling better? i am not the best healer, as you can see. i am afraid some of your injuries might form a scar.”

“it’s alright” you answered, not sure about what to say. you could feel the bandages all over your body, the pain all over it, but you tried to drink the tea, nonetheless. zhongli was being kind enough to take care of you, and you would never make little of his efforts. “a scar is the sign that i fought back.” you remembered your father once telling diluc that, on his first years of sword training — but it was a completely different circumstance, and you weren’t sure he would approve of his only daughter now having an imperfection on her face.

“i am sure it will not affect your beauty.” those words managed to bring a faint smile to your face, though not as bright and big as it used to be. zhongli missed the sight of your smiles, but he was happy he was able to bring the ghost of it to your face once more. he was well versed in the ways of having a broken heart, and a true smile would take some time to adorn your lips again.

he watched as you drank the tea, taking the cup from your hands gently, while you adjusted yourself once more on his bed. he was already in contact with lumine, who was probably in contact with your brother, to find a way to bring you back to your hometown safely and quickly. zhongli was intrigued by childe’s last words — what sin had the younger man committed, and what fate was bestowed upon you? the archon couldn’t think about anything that could make the harbinger to try to kill you, but your fate seemed to be worse than death on childe’s eyes.

he thought his last contract was with the tsaritsa, but it seemed that one of her followers managed to steal such a place in the god of contract’s existence.

“zhongli?”

your voice was small, as if it was the song of a caged bird. he turned his golden eyes to your form, impressed by how young you truly were — in many nights he was kept awake, eyes facing the same ceiling you were now, thinking about how much you remind him of her. of how your smile was the same as hers, how the wind in your hair made the same movement it used to do with hers. but you were young, and you didn’t have the same wisdom and knowledge as her, but you had enchanted him the same way.

he wasn’t sure if reincarnations really existed, but, if it did, you and guizhong shared the same soul.

“yes, my dear?” he tried not to touch your face like he used to do with her, but he got up from the chair he was in and sat on the end, his hands a few inches away from your resting body.

“have you ever had your heart broken?” zhongli understood why you were asking that. you were away from your family, away from your friends in a foreign nation, and you needed guidance. and he was beyond happiness to be the one to help you — if he could, he’d share with himself the pain you were feeling so you could feel better.

you watched as he nodded. “i did, once.”

“and how did you heal from it?” it was a personal question and you knew it, but you didn’t know who to ask. diluc and kaeya never had a great love that ended in sour feelings as far as you knew, so they weren’t options. maybe lisa? you didn’t know much about her past as a student in sumeru, but you would be too ashamed to ask her something like that.

zhongli stayed silent for a while, and you almost lost hope that he would answer you, before he started. “i do not think i ever healed from that. but time proved to be an efficient helper.” though the curiosity to know what happened with him numbed your pain a bit, you wouldn’t be able to ask. it must have been something really horrible if he still wasn’t able to get over it. “and my friends and family, too. the key is to not be alone at those times when you can’t think about anything else but them.” but her, he wanted to say, her that is so much like you that it pains my heart to see you suffering like that. “love can only be cured with love, y/n.”

you nodded, pinky finger intertwining with zhongli’s one, as a way to comfort him for the pain you made he remember. he chuckled, and it seemed like the sound reverberated through the whole earth, a sound that could make mountains turn to dust and flowers to grow.

but home was calling you, and you couldn’t ignore the song of freedom calling you back, nor the wind almost dragging you back to a place you knew nobody could ever hurt you.

a big kiss to @ajaxstar

#🧸- virtus #i read these hundreds of times but i could never describe how beauitufl and majestic it is #i could feel every single emotion yn and childe/ajax felt #i almost felt suffocated by the lies childe told yn as he was trying to chain her to him #i loved how yn refused to acknoweldge that the ajax she loved is dead #i can feel her desperation and her still living love for the new ajax #their moments are so romantic and intimate that it feels like i am spying on them #the sweetness and obsession childe has towards yn and how he wants to make her live with him forever shows me how much he cares for her #the eyes are the mirror of the soul dear ajax #zhongli is so handsome and such a gentleman with yn #how cute she is whenever she talks about her family and how sad i am when she tells about how she misses her life before crepus' death ;^;#my poor bby ;^;#bby i love this so so so much #words can't describe it #la signora needs to chill before i kick her (jk i love u signora pls give me a chance)#i was this close to tear off my hair when childe fought against yn #MY LOVE HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME PLEASE I WAS SOBBING IN A CORNER #the ending is so painful please i can't.... how much i need to suffer more?#ohhhh so zhongli feels attrached by yn and how she reminds him of a certain her ... i'm curious now #will be a love triangle in part 3?#omg i can't wait to read it i need to know about them!!!!!!#bby you did such a wonderful job ilysm <3

339 notes · View notes

jisungchan · 1 month ago

Text

hot to go! | c.sn

or, when you meet one of your customers as a camgirl.

pairing/au: san and camgirl! fem reader, nonidol! au general content/summary: you meet (and fuck) one of your clients, emotions kinda talked about, hinting at wanting more, idk what else lmk, NO race specific descriptors (skin colour, hair texture, etc.), NO body type specific descriptors (size of reader body parts, BUT reader is alluded to being smaller than san i think, weight, etc.) genre: smut, fluff at the end

⚔︎ sexual content warnings (explicit): spitting scene (idk why these show up in all my fics...), bigdick!san agenda (always and forever), stomach bulge, raw sex (do NAWT do this), he does NAWT pull out (pls practise safe sex), f! and m! oral receiving, 3 diff positions because why not, three reader orgasms, marking and biting, a singular ass slap, soft dom!san, kinda sub!reader, a clit nibbling and pinching (i have no words), pet names (baby, sweet girl, angel, etc), a cutie lil aftercare moment, lmk if i forgot anything :D

~6.1k word count nets: @mirohs-aurora-society and @illusionnet

a/n: thank u to the lovely folks over at @mirohs-aurora-society for helping me finish writing this !

do you ever think about how your life could be ruined in an instant?

sure, the money and lack of a 9-5 job was glorious, but what would happen if people found out exactly why and how you were able to live like this? the lie you told your friends was that you worked as a copywriter. it was boring enough so there were no further questions asked, but also legitimate enough as to why you never go into an office. the truth is, you did work with technology, well, sort of. if you consider being an anonymous cam girl as working with technology, then, yes! you are still pursuing the traditional route, going to university to get your bachelor’s in some stupidly worthless major. your friends worked as waiters, baristas, uber drivers, and any other typical college job. you wanted an easy way to make money in the comfort of your own home, was that too much to ask for?

so, during one of the many nights you spent thrashing in bed, contemplating your life, you remember a remark one of your friends made to you years ago.

“why don’t you just become a pornstar?”

at the time, you laughed it off. there was no way you were comfortable putting everything out there for another stranger’s enjoyment like that. but, one lonely night, you decided to give it a try.

what’s the worst that could happen?

putting on the prettiest lingerie you owned, which happened to be a simple matching baby blue mesh set (what’s the need for lingerie when you barely have time for yourself?). you found a somewhat reputable website you stumbled across, and quickly signed up for an account. you put no thought into the username, simply opting for “blossomiebaby”, as you weren’t expecting this to last very long. you set up your phone on a tripod, one which you cannot remember why you bought, and started the stream.

at first, you were very awkward. if the 3 viewers could see your face, they would say you looked like a deer in headlights. you kneeled on your bed, whole body in view with the camera cutting off half way up your neck, keeping your face safely out of frame.

the few viewers so far were giving you many compliments and also advice on what to do, how to pose your body, and other tips on helping you help them. after a few minutes, you grew more comfortable and started to move fluidly on your own, twisting and pushing your body to various positions that caused you to hear the donations pour in. you didn’t even undress, or do anything explicit, and somehow your first show did well.

the next stream you did, you had a little extra preparation for. thanks for the generous donors in your first stream, you bought a new, actual lingerie set, a dildo, and some lube. the sex toy and lube sat out of view on your nightstand, you weren’t sure if you were ready to use it or not, so you thought it was best to leave that decision up to yourself. you slipped on yet another set, this time soft baby powder pink ruffled bloomers and a matching cropped dainty tank top, they both adorned bows in the centre and poofed out on your body beautifully. you felt a lot more comfortable this time around, expertly setting the camera up the way you like and laying on the bed. you laid on your stomach, rear tutted up and frilly lace covered feet swinging in the back as you teased your growing audience with a closeup of the lower half of your face. this time, your viewer count was growing by the dozens; it was near 100 when you climbed away from the camera, kneeling on the bed. your soft plush thighs splayed out as you sat on your knees, your thigh high socks stretching with the new position.

you toyed with the hem of your top, pulling it down to create a v-shape, exposing more of your collarbone and a bit of cleavage. you leaned forward again to give your viewers a close up, still hearing the steady flow of donation chimes coming through. this time, your head dipped to the bottom corner of the video as you displayed your deeply arched back and wiggling rear to the camera.

that night, you hadn’t pulled out any toys, and even now that it has been about a year since you have started, you still haven’t shown much more. sure, you have gotten more generous with being a bit more revealing, but your private parts stayed private. what you do on stream those few days a week is seductively pose and fondle your body for your audience. however, you have upgraded to speaking to them now. you found adding the element of your voice has upped both your viewership and income. and some nights where you’re feeling extra nice, and needy, you tease yourself a bit through your bottoms, for both your relief as well as your audience. staring at yourself posing lewdly for hours sometimes makes you turn yourself on.

another night, another stream.

tonight’s outfit is something a bit spooky, it is the beginning of halloween month! tonight, you put on a sexy nurse costume. definitely basic, but also a crowd pleaser. the thin, tight white dress hugs your body perfectly, the red collar and details pop out against your skin tone. you also put on a pair of white lace thigh high socks, now a sort of staple of yours. you turn to set the camera up just the way you like it, hoping for another good night of work.

however, just before you start the stream, you notice a message from someone,

themountain: trick or treat?

you giggle at the stupid line, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t curious as to where this was going.

blossomiebaby: hmmm, treat?

themountain: *$500 donation*

themountain: and if you want, i can still show you some tricks later ;)

your jaw drops at the huge donation this ‘themountain’ user just sent through. the username seems vaguely familiar, but you don’t remember anything outstanding or specific about him.

blossomiebaby: thank you mr. mountain man :)

blossomiebaby: do you stream?

themountain: nah, but for you i’d do a private stream

and maybe it was the fact this man just dropped $500 on you, or maybe the fact that he seems so charming from the few texts, or maybe it was the fact you’re ovulating– but either way, you knew you had to take him up on his offer.

blossomiebaby: are you comfortable with a two way stream?

blossomiebaby: wanna show my appreciation

themountain: anything for you, baby

as you go on your laptop to invite him to the private stream, you feel insane. sure, you’ve had private streams for small groups of your highest paying customers, but nothing like this. with the two way stream, you would basically be on facetime with him.

ding!

no turning back now.

the mysterious mountain user enters the stream, and you see the lower half of the screen flicker from black to a man’s broad chest and square shoulders.

he sits in a very fitted black short sleeve compression shirt, it shows off his triangular stature as he waist disappears under the dim lighting. you can see a peak of what you presume to be grey sweatpants, typical manwhore outfit.

you are sitting on your bed, knees bent as you press the heels of your feet into the mattress. you’re also at an angle against the camera, making your legs appear longer as you lean back on your hands set behind you.

“awww, did i pull you away from streaming tonight?” the stranger lifts the camera up a bit, and you watch a dimple appear as he smiles while speaking. you unknowingly press your thighs together a bit to suppress the desire starting to flow through your body down to your core.

you simply nod, too afraid to speak as your brain is slowly turning to mush.

“i would say i’m sorry, but i’m happy to have you all to myself tonight.” he chuckles, those same dimples marking his face as he smiles.

you giggle back at his comment, “so, what tricks do you have up your sleeve?”

“hmm, well, it can be whatever you want. you seem a little nervous, so we can just talk.” this time when he smiles, there’s no playfulness behind it, it seems full of sincerity.

you shake your head, but he tuts and starts making simple conversation. eventually, you move to a more comfortable position, sitting with your legs crossed in front of you as you drift off into conversation with him.

it’s only when you get a notification that your laptop is about to die when you see the time, you had been chatting, nonsexually, with this strange man for over two hours.

“i think i’ve kept you long enough, but i hope you enjoyed our conversation, it was nice getting to know you, blossom.” he says, his hands go upward to the mouse on his desk.

and you know it is definitely not the smartest move, but you can’t even think before you blurt out,

“can i give you my number?”

a few weeks have passed, and you still do your streams. as it gets closer to finals season, you slow down a bit, wanting to focus on your academics and prioritising that over your income currently. however, the main thing that has now changed in your life is a constant you never thought would happen.

san

after he quadruple checked you were truly okay with giving him your number, he decided to give you his instead, in case you changed your mind. he said he wanted you to feel as comfortable and safe as possible, so he gave you the power to reach out to him instead. which you did, the next day. and ever since, you both have been texting and calling nonstop. and this is how you came to know more about the man behind themountain user, san. he also sent you a few photos of him, and wow, he is a gorgeous man.

people always refer to women as beautiful and pretty, but san is the prettiest man you have ever seen. of course, his body is also mesmerising, but his face alone makes you think impure thoughts and pumps arousal through your veins.

after a few weeks of texting, you still wanted more. but you were nervous, and you also didn’t know quite what you wanted from him. did you want to ask him on a date? he is local, but you also felt weird about asking him on a date, especially because of how you met. did you just want to meet up and hang out? but then, maybe he would get the wrong impression if you invited him to your place. i mean, it wouldn’t necessarily be the wrong impression, as you did spend many nights under your sheets thinking of him, but you thought that would be too forward,

hey, wanna come over mine and fuck?

yeah, you definitely can’t say that.

luckily, san was able to be on the same page as you. one night while you were studying, you got a text. you told him how you’ve been busy preparing for finals, and he respected you taking some time away from the internet.

san: have you eaten?

y/n: no, been too busy studying :(

san: that’s no good angel :(

you smiled, as you read his texts, he was always so sweet to you and caring. it seemed like he cared about you more than just the nature of your job. it seemed like he saw you as a person, not just a body for his own pleasure.

san: what do you want to eat?

y/n: hmmm, i’ve been craving some sushi. maybe i’ll get some after i’m done.

you looked away at the time, it was starting to near 11:00pm, and you knew most places would be closing soon. in your mind, you already started thinking of what you could put together in your kitchen.

san: that won’t do, how about i send some food to yours?

and if you thought san had made your heart skip a beat before, this time he truly did. you froze in place, staring at the message in the corner of your laptop until it swiped itself away. you open up the message thread and stare a bit more.

san: i’m sorry, i can just send you some money to order it yourself, does that sound better sweetie?

it warmed your heart to think that he thought he crossed a line, but in your mind, it was quite the opposite. you looked over at your planner, you had finished everything due for the next few days, so you had a bit of time to spare.

y/n: why don’t you just pick something up for us? i could use some company to distract me from school.

after hovering over the send button for a moment, you finally pressed down on it. you took another look at your message sent and shut your phone off, throwing it to the other side of the couch as you curled up and screamed.

for someone who made a living off of seducing men, you sure didn’t have a lot of in person experience of dating and romance.

and even though you threw your phone so you could escape his reply back, your laptop was still open, so you heard the ding! when he replied back

san: just ordered it, send me your address so i can ease that pretty little head of yours

another scream leaves your throat as you quickly send him your address before you can even think to change your mind. you stand up and shut the laptop, looking around your place. noticing the state of your home, you start manically cleaning up and trying to make things look as nice as possible. you didn’t know exactly where he lived, so you had to hurry in case he would be there soon.

you ran to your room and did the same, throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and pushing it into your closet. you took a look at yourself in the mirror, the days of reading and being locked inside your place was evident on your face and body. you decided to take a quick shower, something you had been neglecting in favour of studying. after your place was straightened out and you threw on some more presentable clothing, which just happened to be an oversized tee and some soft shorts. even though san had likely seen a lot more of your body on camera, the thought of him seeing it in person sent shivers down your spine.

and just as you sat back down with the recollection that he has never seen your face, you hear a

ring!

shaken out of your thoughts, you shakily get up to walk toward the front door. you pause as your hand hovers over the door knob. once you open it, there’s no turning back. you open that door, and your identity is revealed, you’ll be letting a stranger come into your home which you have crafted to your safe space. after a few moments, you slowly unlock your door and turn it open. what if you’re getting catfished? what if this wasn’t some nice customer who you have befriended, but a crazed fan who’s going to harm you once you allow him in? it’s too late, the door is already cracked open, and all the person on the other side would have to do is fit their shoe in the opening to enter your place. but, much to your pleasant surprise, the door stays cracked. you can see a peek of the man on the other side, his physique seems similar to the man who you have been chatting with for the past few weeks, and it brings a small smile to your lips. he’s rocking on his feet, maybe he’s nervous too?

“if you don’t want to let me in, i’ll leave the food here.”

there is a twinge of disappointment in his voice, but it’s mostly full of compassion. and just as you hear him place the bags on the floor and his heavy footsteps, you take a step back to swing your door open.

“i’m sorry, come in san.”

he turns back around quickly, just to see you bend down to pick the bag up and smile at him,

“it’s not like i’m going to eat all this food by myself.”

san follows you into your place, removing his shoes and hanging his jacket up. he stands awkwardly at your entrance as you place the bags on your coffee table and sit back on your couch. you turn around and giggle at his nervous state, it somehow puts you at ease to see him just as nervous, if not even more, than you. you motion him to come sit next to you, but he seems a bit frozen in place.

of course, san knew you had a beautiful body, he would be lying if he thought otherwise. afterall, the way you two ‘met’ was through your body. however, after talking to you for the past few weeks, he has gotten to know you a lot deeper than just the lingerie you drape over your figure. he’s gotten to know more about your personal life, your likes and dislikes, your academic and career goals and endeavours, and everything else in between. he would be lying if he said he hasn’t fallen in love with you over these past few weeks. he genuinely wasn’t expecting it to happen, falling for a camgirl? before he thought that would be equivalent to falling in love with a hooker; it would take a fool to think they would want anything more than his money. but, he cannot stop the prominent beating in his chest as he walks over, seeing your face for the very first time.

seeing the last piece of the puzzle that was missing of you filled his body up with admiration. here you were, letting him in your home, seeing your face, and not in front of a camera. he’s seeing you in a state he never has before, actually covered in baggy clothes, hiding the figure he has only ever seen you flaunt. your face isn’t cut out of frame, but fully in front of his face, all just for him to go over and analyse each one of your gorgeous features. from the way your nose curves perfectly into your face, your eyebrows framing your eyes perfectly, and the small smile on your plump lips as he sits next to you as you open the bags up.

“thanks for the food, and coming over. i’m sorry if it was a bit sudden.” you nervously say, shying away from his lingering fixation on your face.

he stutters, “it’s no problem, i’m happy to help.” he smiles back at you, helping you untie the bags to get ready to eat. you reach for the remote as he lays down the food and drinks on the table. flipping through numerous streaming channels to land on the perfect thing to watch. your uneasiness quickly flows away from you, and it’s evident san is feeling the same. he’s no longer as tense sitting next to you, he rolls up his sleeves and relaxes into the cushions, widening his legs to get more comfortable. you can’t help but think how right this all feels. your thoughts no longer compile of anxiety and fear of the man sitting next to you, but instead morph into familiarity and comfort. you put on a random episode of the office and you both start eating the delicious food in front of you.

it’s quiet as you both eat and watch the show, only some small noises of you two enjoying the food leaves your mouths as you chew on the sushi and wash it down with drinks.

the food is now long gone, and you both have somehow ended up lightly cuddling on the couch, eyes still glued to dwight and michael scott on the television. laughs and dry chuckles escape your lips at the stupid humour as you find yourself nuzzling into san’s chest with his arm draped around you.

you both are made aware of your current position when netflix shines a notification on the screen,

are you still watching?

you scramble out of his grasp as you reach for the remote. however, in your haste, you drop both the remote and the remnants of your drink all over your shirt. you rush to stand up, droplets dripping from your shirt to your carpet. san stands up and rushes to the kitchen, grabbing some towels and water to clean up the mess on your carpet as you run to your bedroom. you close the door and stand against it, cursing for making a fool of yourself in front of him. you’re feeling flustered as you look down at your shirt, now stained from the drink and throw it off your now sticky body. you head straight to the bathroom, opting to take a quick shower so you don’t feel so gross.

meanwhile, san has finished up getting the spill off your carpet, and the bit that was wasted on the sofa. he goes to the sink to wash the towels to his best abilities, and his mind starts to wonder what’s taking you so long to change. mindlessly, he follows the droplets to your bedroom door. he knocks, but when he doesn’t hear anything back, he gets a little anxious. you did seem quite upset when you spilled, so he doesn’t think twice when he opens the door to your bedroom after you don’t answer his knocks and calls.

walking into your bedroom, he notices your shirt thrown on the floor and picks it up to place it in your poorly hidden, overfilled hamper peeking from your closet door. then, he hears a click!, and sees you walk out of the attached bathroom (which he wishes he would have noticed earlier), with your body naked and dripping wet.

he hurriedly shuts his eyes, puts his arm over them, and turns away, just to be safe (as if shutting his eyes wasn’t enough). you quickly grab your towel off your bed and cover yourself with it. silence envelops the room as he stands there with his back toward you, and you can’t help but let your eyes traverse around the broad expanse of his back, his other arm dangling, sleeve still rolled up with veins running across up and down his forearms. you quickly and quietly dry yourself off and walk over to him, all logic escaping your mind as you nudge him to turn around.

“i’m sorry, i just wanted to make sure you were oka–”

you cut him off with a gentle kiss on his lips. he just looked so cute standing there, like a deer in the headlights apologising profusely for invading your space. you didn't mind though, if anything, you’re starting to thank your clumsy self for knocking over the stupid drink.

after san starts to realise what’s happening, his hands move to your waist, lightly groaning when he feels you’re still just in a towel. he presses your body impossibly closer to his, and you feel he strong torso against your chest as you strain your neck to kiss him back, hungrier this time.

he pulls away from you for a moment, lust clouding his eyes as he stares at your face. instead of the admiration he had earlier, it has now been replaced with need and arousal, something dark takes his features over. but, before he can act out on them, he needs to make sure you’re okay with this.

“you know, i didn’t come over here for this.” he whispers, his breath hot against your neck as he breathes in your freshly showered scent.

“i know, which is why i want you.” you tug at his hair so he can look at you, so he can see how serious you are about this, about him.

he wastes no more time as he gently shoves you to the bed, his body hovers over yours in a now heated makeout session. cleanliness is thrown out the window as you transfer spit from each of your mouths, desperate to feel him. you feel him poke in to explore your mouth, painting it with his tongue in every crevice he can find. one of your hands goes to his chest as the other goes back to his hair, tugging slightly to elicit beautiful groans from his mouth straight to yours.

you’re starting to feel antsy, and as you’re wiggling around with need, your towels undoes itself. san pulls away again, this time shamelessly fucking you with his hungry eyes. wordlessly, he travels down your body, pressing wet kisses into your neck, chest, stomach, and thighs. you feel his hot breath fan across your growingly wet folds, and he looks at your pussy with such strong intent, you start to feel nervous. you go to shut your legs, but he uses his strong hands to pry them back open. he sticks out his tongue and licks a fat, wet stripe up from your pulsing hole to your throbbing clit. you moan and arch your back at the sensation. it’s been so long since you’ve had any type of real sexual release, and now that you’re getting it with the hottest man between your thighs, it makes your head swirl.

he hooks an arm around your thigh and presses his hand onto your stomach, forcing you down to keep still as his tongue continues its assault on your leaking cunt. the way he sucks and nibbles on your clit has you seeing stars, and when he takes his other hand to barely poke at your hole, you cry out at the feeling. his thick digit presses in further into your fluttering hole, and you clench down at the initial feeling. having his mouth on you and his finger inside you feels so much better than your own, and even better than the firm silicone you’ve become accustomed to. he keeps his finger thrusting in and out at a steady pace before adding another. he increases his tongue’s pressure on your clit, large hand flexing as he uses his strength to keep your hips down.

“taste so sweet, baby, wanna taste more.”

and with his delicate words whispered against your core, you come undone with one last suck on your clit and his fingers curling inside you. you throw your head back as he continues licking up all the mess you made from your orgasm, savouring the taste of you on his tongue.

he sits on his knees before you, and you sit up on your elbows to watch him remove his top, putting his bare body on display for you. his strength was easily detectable even under his clothes, but now that he’s taken them off, you don’t think you can ever unsee him in this state.

he throws his shirt off, and his broad chest is rapidly rising and falling with his heavy breathing. a thin sheen of sweat glistens over his body, small droplets getting caught in the ridges of his muscles and expanding with his breathing. you follow a droplet down to his v-line, where the rest of him, the part you really want of him, stays barely hidden under his pants. you mindlessly go to reach for his bulge, already so prevalent, and you just know it’s bigger than any toy you’ve taken. your hand lands on his throbbing erection, and you feel it jump at your touch. san lets out a sigh or relief as his hips subconsciously buck harder into your palm. you go to undo his pants, anxious to see the rest of him. after hastily getting them off him, you see head on his cock slap up against his abs. it’s leaking precum, and its head is red with need. while he isn’t the girthiest, he is long. you sit up to trace your tongue along the veins that travel his shaft, ending up circling his tip with your tongue before you dive in to get a taste of his salty precum pooling at his slit. you wanted nothing more than to at least try to take all of him, but san has other ideas.

“you’ve done enough for me, pretty, lay back.”

you pout, still wanting to taste more of him as you push your head further down his cock. he hisses before pulling you back by the hair and shoving you down on the bed.

“next time, but i need to feel you right now, baby.” he whispers into your ear. he’s on his elbow above you, your legs naturally split open to welcome his hips closer to yours. you feel as he prods his tip at your entrance, then he takes his fingers in a v motion to open you up prettily to him. he rubs the shaft of his hard-on between your folds, lubricating himself with your dripping arousal. you whine and reach a hand down, moving him back down to your waiting hole. he sits back up, understanding your silent pleas as he slowly starts to dive into you, inch by agonising inch. you flutter around him, not being used to being stretched out like this, and you witness as he throws his head back with a moan of his own.

“fuck, no wonder you never showed this pretty little pussy of yours. so-so perfect.” san draws out, shallowly thrusting until he gets the okay from you.

he looks back down to where you two are connected, and he swears he has never seen something as beautiful as his cock in you, how when he draws out a ring of arousal pushes up near his base. he puckers his lips as he lets a fat string of saliva fall from his lips, right onto your clit, falling as he pushes back in. you can only moan and claw at his muscular biceps, nodding your head fervently so he can start fucking you how you want, how you need him to.

“mm-mm princess. use your words like you do on cam, baby.”

and once san hears your small

“please”

there’s no more hope for him.

he grips your hips, thumbs pressing bruises into your pelvic bone as he wastes no time quickening his pace. his body is back on top of yours, and you feel the added stretch of your legs bending to accommodate him. the mixture of his precum, your arousal, and his spit, mixes together to make the loudest and nastiest noises you have ever heard, but you love it.

there is just something so carnal about the way he’s having you right now, thighs pressed against your chest and ankles around his neck. at this angle, you feel him even deeper, however that was possible. now, his hands move to cup your thighs, pushing them further into your torso like he was trying to break you. you feel the way his abs brush your skin every time he breathes, and his lips go to litter your face and neck with kisses and love bites. you feel pressure from everywhere, his large body barely hovering over you, hip lips burning their mark on your skin, his large hands pressing you deep into the mattress, and the way his cock fills up your poor cunt, who was trying its best to stretch for him. the way you feel the full extent of his force from both inside and outside of your body makes you feel like exploding, which is about to happen if he keeps it up like this.

all of the sudden, you feel a push at your calves, and find yourself being turned on your side, one leg straight and the other thrown at an angle to the side. most of your face is dug into the pillow as san keeps the same pace, thrusting into you over and over and over again. your body is contorted and twisted as you lay on your side, unfortunate for your hip that was supporting most of the damage. you throw an arm up to grip san’s forearm, digging your nails into his skin from pleasure. the new position has his hips slapping against your rear, and the echoes it makes causes san to lose all sense of reality.

“fuck, you’re so perfect.” he groans as he takes a hand and squeezes your ass, then gives it a hard slap, causing you to yelp at the sensation. then, you feel both of his hands at your hips, manhandling you, once again, so you’re on all fours, all the while he’s keeping up his brutal pace. you however, cannot keep up, as you quickly end up with your face yet again buried into a pillow. san reaches down to take both of your wrists into one of his hands, pulling you up against him. he snakes down his other hand down to your clit while he peppers your face with his wet hot kisses and licks. you feel as he starts pinching and rubbing firm circles on your slit, and your body shudders at all of what he’s doing to you.

“cum, please, let me cum.” you cry out, starting to buck your hips back to get you closer to the edge.

he releases your wrists in favour of taking one of your hands to press down on your stomach. you can both feel the way his cock is rutting deep inside you, and your second release is oh so close once you reel in the feeling.

“go ahead, cum for me baby, want you to when you feel me cum inside you right… here.” he emphases his words as he forces your hand firmer on your stomach. you feel his thrusts starting to get more erratic, and you come undone just as you feel him sputtering deep inside you.

he slows down, riding out both of your orgasms as you fall face first into the soft bedding below you. san releases your hips so your body lays flat on the bed, his seed starting to seep out of you. you turn on your side as you feel him nudge you to turn around. once you do, you find him fixated on your leaking cunt, threatening to spill on the (fortunately placed) towel under you. he takes his two fingers and pushes his cum back inside you, thumb already going to your clit as you thrash at the overstimulation. you start muttering out a desperate please please please, even though you weren’t quite sure what you were begging for. nevertheless, your third orgasm of the night comes quickly, as you gush all over his hand still pushing his cum back inside you.

finally, san lays next to you on his side, caressing your body softly and whispering in your ear.

“you did so well for me, sweet girl. let’s get you cleaned up.”

you can only nod as he brings you to your bathroom, which he now knows is attached to your bedroom. he leans your back against his chest as he washes the both of you up. you turn around to help clean him off as well, a silent intimacy shared between you two in the steamy warmth of the glass shower. he dries you off, with a clean towel, before laying you back on the bed. he goes to your kitchen to grab some water for you both, encouraging you to drink a bit before cuddling up in his arms.

he is the first to break the comfortable silence between you as he pulls the comforter over your naked bodies.

“you know, i meant when i said that wasn’t what i came over for.” he smiles, looking down at you nuzzled into his chest.

“i know, but i think we still needed to get it out of our system.” you laugh at him, considering the whole situation you have found yourselves in.

“i’m just happy you trusted me, i promise i won’t ever break that.” he softly cradles your face in his hand, giving you a more loving kiss. a kiss that seals his promise, the promise that he cares about you as a person, not just your current profession. a promise that what is between you two is deeper than just his initial love for your body, but a love for you.

this was not supposed to be this long... but i think i am incapable of writing shorter things so... hope u enjoyed :D

#mirohsaurorasociety #illusionnet #ateez oneshot #ateez x reader #ateez smut #san x reader #san ateez #san atz #san smut #ateez san #ateez san x reader #ateez san smut

757 notes · View notes

unearthly-doting · 7 months ago

Text

finding their soulmate: genshin edition.

a/n: i haven't made a post here in a hot second and i honestly apologize about that lol. the motivation to write just hasn't been there but!! here's a small lil genshin post for now. i just spun a wheel to pick who i write but if u want me to write for some of the others then just lmk!!

includes: xiao, kaeya, kujou sara, albedo, tartaglia, and ayato.

warnings: mdni, yandere content, not edited, gn reader, kidnapping, forced relationships, arranged marriage, manipulation, reader injury in both kujou sara's, albedo's and tartaglia's parts, childe stabs you :peace sign:, canon is a very vague concept in my writing more often than not btw, this is kinda cringey </3, the yandere content in albedo's part is actually very mild bc i was restraining myself bc there was a lot i wanted to do w it.

XIAO — never really cared much about finding his soulmate. His entire existence was dedicated to protecting Liyue, even if the nation no longer needed his protection. Besides, with how long he's been around, he just assumed his soulmate was long dead and that he'd never meet them. Though, a small part of him wondered... what was his soulmate like?

And, almost as if the universe had been listening, he ends up meeting you. His soulmate. It wasn't a classic, romantic meeting. He didn't save your life or anything like that. You were just a traveler who decided to stay at the inn.

He didn't think much of you until his eyes met yours and suddenly color was flooding into his world. It made him dizzy, and it stunned him into absolute silence because all he could so was stare at you with wide eyes.

You were clearly going through it as well, because obviously. You just met your fucking soulmate on a damn business trip. What the hell were you supposed to do now? It would be awkward to just... ignore what had happened, right? I mean, he's staring right at you and this was all just very overwhelming.

It was an awkward first meeting, that's for sure.

But during your time at the inn, whenever you were free from work, you spent it with Xiao. He was closed off, clearly keeping his guard up and not letting you get too close. You didn't know the reasons, but you didn't expect him to tell you his entire life story just because you two were apparently bound by the universe.

Honestly, you just assumed he didn't want to be with his soulmate. This didn't upset you. It wouldn't work out, anyway. You're only staying for a few weeks before heading home.

But archons, did Xiao want you. Behind his typical, distant behavior, Xiao was taking note of everything about you. Your interests, your habits, your sleep schedule, your favorite foods and desserts... everything you told him or subconsciously revealed, Xiao was tucking it away in his mind.

He wanted you. He wanted you to stay here, in Liyue, with him. Where you belong. But he didn't know how to express that. He's never been in love before, and it's not like he'll just suddenly become an expert at romance after meeting you.

When it was time for you to leave, he was crushed. He needed you to stay. He needed you by his side. Letters wouldn't be enough to fill the emptiness in your wake if you left. You had to stay.

You will stay.

And when you wake up to find yourself no longer in the inn, and instead in some small home deep within the mountains of Liyue, you're distraught.

Xiao looks genuinely guilty, robbing you of your freedom but... you understand, don't you? You have to understand. He just couldn't let you go. You're his soulmate, you were destined to be with him! You'll love it here, he'll make sure of it.

Just stay.

KAEYA — had always wondered what his soulmate was like ever since he was a child. He would spend hours just staring at the small crescent moon forever stained on his wrist, wondering if and when he'll meet the person with a matching mark.

Of course, as he got older he spent less time thinking about such things, though he did always hold out hope that he might be able to one day meet his soulmate. Little did he know, he's met his soulmate already. Multiple times.

You took over Sara's shifts at the Good Hunter whenever she had other things she needed to focus on, so Kaeya has spoken with you on numerous occasions, he's just never realized you were his soulmate because you keep your wrists covered. He's not one to judge, his wrists aren't visible either.

Him finding out was an accident. You had been handing him his order when your sleeves rolled up a bit, and his gaze just so happened to look at your wrists and he saw the very same crescent moon that was on his.

And for a moment, he froze. He just stared. Long enough that you were starting to feel a little uncomfortable. But before you could awkwardly send him on his way, he was showing you the crescent moon on his wrist as well and thus began your love story.

Or... well... it's what Kaeya had hoped for, but you didn't seem interested in soulmates at all. You didn't want the universe to decide who you were meant to be with, you wanted to make that decision yourself, so you had, to put it simply, bluntly rejected him.

And he gets it! It hurts, sure. He spent his entire life dreaming of this day, and it's not turning out the way he had hoped, but... you guys can be friends, at least, right? No strings attached?

For a while, Kaeya was fine with that. You and he had a really strong friendship. He cared about you, and you cared about him. Though your feelings were platonic, he was holding on to the hope that maybe one day, you'll realize you two were meant to be together.

But it was starting to seem as though that day might never come, because almost a year into your friendship with him, you had told Kaeya that you were thinking about entering the dating scene. He was... not too pleased about that, honestly. It was pretty obvious too, the way his entire mood soured the moment you brought the topic up.

He didn't stand by idly while this happened. Any person he saw you chatting up with romantic intentions would suddenly avoid you like the plague the next time you saw them. Any blind dates would end with you being ghosted. Hell, even some of your friends, the ones who were helping you get dates, were starting to avoid you too. It was so confusing.

But not Kaeya. No, Kaeya was always by your side.

Whenever you needed him, he was there. He always seemed to be able to make time for you. He listened to you vent your frustrations out, never once judging you or telling you that you were being dramatic. He was the only constant in your life these days.

Of course, you were completely oblivious to the fact that he was the cause of all of this. It's not that hard to blackmail people, he's learned. But they didn't deserve you anyway, seeing how easily they gave up on you the moment he approached them.

Maybe... maybe dating Kaeya wouldn't be so bad... I mean, you're the one deciding this, right? The universe isn't having any play in it. This is your decision. Isn't it?

KUJOU SARA — never cared about her soulmate. She knew she had one, you were in every dream she had. She found it to be more of a nuisance than anything else.

Her entire life was dedicated to her training, and to the Raiden Shogun. She neither had the time, nor the interest in searching for her soulmate. Besides, it didn't seem as if you resided in Inazuma. Your clothing was similar what people in Fontaine wear, and Fontaine was far away from Inazuma.

She was confident that she wouldn't be meeting you any time soon, so she never gave you any thought when she was awake. She never made any plans on what she would do if she did, by any chance, meet you. It didn't matter.

And she can't help but regret that, now that you're standing in front of her. If she had known that meeting her soulmate would make her feel like this, as if everything in the world suddenly made sense, then... well... she doesn't know what she would've done, to be honest.

No matter, Sara had no time to entertain you. Your stay in Inazuma was only temporary, so she saw no point in trying to form a bond with you. You, however, seemed to have different plans. She was used to seeing you in her dreams every night, but she was not used to seeing you in her waking moments.

Whenever she wasn't preoccupied with something, you were there to offer her company. It was annoying, and she's sent you away more than once, but that didn't seem to deter you. If anything, you seemed to become more determined each time she brushed you off.

At some point, she had given up on avoiding you. It was easier to just let you stick around. And, the more time she spent with you, the more attached she was becoming. It wasn't smart, she knew that, but could you blame her? You're so... irrevocably you.

Her fondness for you didn't go unnoticed.

Many people in Inazuma treated you with the same respect they treated Sara. You were her soulmate, after all. Should someone insult you, they would in turn be insulting her. Nobody wanted to get on her bad side.

There were, however, a few bad apples.

It should come as no surprise that a target was placed on your back the moment people took notice of Sara's attachment to you. She didn't think she'd have to worry much, because no one would be idiotic enough to actually try and harm you under her watch, but she should've known better.

It happened a few days before you were set to leave Inazuma to return home. A disturbance was going on within the city so Sara wasn't with you when you went on your daily walk just outside of it. It was supposed to be safe, but it wasn't.

Some vagrants had got the jump on you, and you nearly lost your life. You were lucky enough to have been found by some bystanders, but Sara was less than pleased when she heard about this. She had never taken pleasure in killing anyone before, but there was a deep-rooted sense of satisfaction deep within her chest when she watched the lives of those who hurt you fade away.

And as she sat by your side, waiting for you to wake up, she came to a decision. You can't be alone. If you are, you'll get hurt, and she won't be able to protect you. She can't let you leave Inazuma. She knows you'll more than likely hate her for making this decision for you, but if it means she can keep you safe, keep you alive and by her side, then... that hatred is something she'll be willing to bear.

ALBEDO — doesn't have a soulmate. At least, he's not supposed to. He's an artificial being, so it wouldn't make sense for him to have a soulmate. Of course, he does find the concept of soulmates to be intriguing. Who, or what, decides who people are destined to be with? It's a question he hopes to find an answer to.

So he wasn't surprised when he found you passed out in the snow, deep within Dragonspine. He's seen this countless times before, travelers who don't take precautions before trying to brave the deadly cold that comes with being here. He assumed he would just nurse you back to health and you would go on your merry way.

That changed, however, when he was cleaning your wounds and he saw his name inked on your skin, right on your collarbone. In his handwriting, at that. It confused him, because... that would mean that he's your soulmate. But he can't be. And yet, it didn't come off when he tried wiping it off. It was a part of your skin.

This left him with many questions, though none of them got answered when you woke up. You couldn't remember much about yourself, other than your name and a few other details. You didn't even know why you were in Dragonspine, or where you were from. You did hit your head pretty badly, judging from the headwound, so that would explain the amnesia, though he's not sure if it was going to be something temporary or not.

You both decided it would be best to just have you stay here until you were able to recover some of your memories and although Albedo wasn't eager to make friends with you, he was grateful for the company. He was incredibly patient with you too, answering any questions you may have had ranging from a multitude of different topics.

And in return, you helped out as much as you could without overexerting yourself and making your injuries worse. You'd make sure to keep his little lab tidy when he was away. You'd help out with some of his experiments too, if he knew you wouldn't get hurt doing so.

All while trying to figure out how he could possibly be your soulmate. He checked over himself. Four times. Your name was nowhere on his body. So why? Why was his name on yours? As much as he hates to admit it, he thinks he may never get an answer to this mystery.

Though... that's not such a bad thing, he thinks. He finds himself enjoying your company more and more with each passing day, the whole soulmate thing rarely even crossed his mind. At least, until you had asked him why his name was permanently etched into your skin. It was fairly easy to explain everything to you, though he was unable to answer a few of your questions, sadly. Soulmates were still a mystery, after all.

And when you asked if you could write your name on him so you two could match, he found himself unable to say no. He found himself unable to speak at all, actually, as you wrote your name on his shoulder. You even added a little heart next to it.

But no, Albedo was too busy coming to terms with the feelings he has for you. They weren't new. He's been aware of them for a week or so now, he just never gave it much thought until now. Now, with you so close to him, it was simply impossible to ignore.

And once you pull away, you smile at him and say, "There! Now I'm your soulmate too, right?" And oh.

Oh.

There was no way Albedo was going to let you leave Dragonspine now.

TARTAGLIA — feels a little bad for his soulmate, whoever they are. They can feel his pain, and he can feel theirs. So... they probably hate his guts, considering he's not the most careful person in the world. He pushes himself to his limits and beyond, and his soulmate has no doubt felt every single second of it.

Don't get him wrong, he would love to meet his soulmate. It's been a dream of his since he was a child, always eager to hear the story of how his mom and dad found out they were soulmates. Even as he grew older, the desire never went away. It was just... buried.

And his soulmate just so happened to be you, the significant other of a man who owed the Northland Bank a lot of money. He doesn't normally partake in debt collections, but he didn't have anything better to do so he decided to take this one on. He was going to use you as an example to your husband, though the moment his blade stabbed you, he froze.

He felt the pain. He stabbed you, and he could feel it. Oh fuck, he just stabbed his soulmate. That's definitely not the picturesque first meeting he was hoping for. Probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell his family this either...

Stabbing aside, he was utterly delighted. You, on the other hand, were terrified. Not only did this man just fucking stab you, his expression went from bored to something akin to crazed glee. He stared at you with a hunger that made you want to shy away from his gaze.

He doesn't care that you're already in a relationship with someone else. Not anymore, you're not. You're his, destined by the stars or however the story goes. And if your lover tries to get you back, he'll just kill them. Easy as that. Absolutely nothing will get in the way of him having you.

And he likes that you fight back against him. He especially loves it when you manage to escape. Hell, sometimes he'll even let you go just so he can chase you down again. It sends a thrill through him like no other when he catches you, and you stare at him teary-eyed and out of breath.

You're always so scared that he'll hurt you, but he would never do such a thing. He treats you like you're royalty, spoiling you with a seemingly endless amount of gifts. You're not quite sure how he knows what you like, and you're too hesitant to ask.

Honestly... he'd probably let you stab him. Y'know, he stabbed you, so it's only fair that you get to stab him in turn, right?

You think not. You're very hesitant, staring at him as though he were insane for even proposing such an idea. A part of him was disappointed. He wanted one of the many scars on his body to be from you. But a much larger part can't help but go soft at the sight of you shaking your head, sternly refusing to hurt him.

If he wasn't obsessed with you before, he certainly was now. You're too good. Too kind. He's holding you captive (lovingly, of course) and you refuse to hurt him? You don't even want to pinch him? How adorable.

Why, if he didn't know any better, he'd think that you might care about him.

He was nothing if not stubborn, of course. You might not care about him now, but you will in the future. He'll make sure of it.

After all, he's spent his whole life waiting for you.

AYATO — never had the time to think of his soulmate. He was blessed (or cursed, depending on who you ask) with the ability to see the red strings that tied people together. When he was younger, before having to take on the duties of the Kamisato name, he would always stare at the one tied to his pinkie.

He even has the habit of twirling the red string around his finger whenever he gets stressed. Only behind closed doors, of course. It would probably appear strange to others if they saw.

Meeting his soulmate was something he had always planned out in his head as a child, and when he finally did meet you, it was so... simple. There was nothing magical about it, you had just bumped into him one day when he was out in the city and that's what started all of this.

For you, it was a forgettable encounter, one that would never cross your mind again. For him, it was everything he had been waiting for. Thoma thought it was a bit strange, but he dutifully gathered information about you when Ayato asked it of him. He needed to know everything there was to know about you.

He already knew what he was going to do when he met his soulmate, the only thing left was to actually do it. And you were definitely shocked when Kamisato Ayato himself showed up at your home and asked you to marry him.

You said no, obviously, because why the hell would you agree to marry someone you didn't know? Ayato had planned for this, of course. That's why he had Thoma learn everything about you, so the moment you declined his offer, he just smiled and made a comment about your family. It was very obvious what he was implying.

And even if you aren't close with your family, you can't live with blood on your hands. You were pretty much forced into accepting Ayato's marriage proposal. He was pleased with this outcome, promising to take care of everything himself.

Marrying him meant that you would, unfortunately, have to leave your home and instead live at the Kamisato Estate. Everyone was under the impression that this marriage was one of love and not coercion. You highly doubt that anyone would believe you if you told them the truth, and you were too concerned about what the consequences would be if you did.

Everyone at the estate was nice to you, at least, though the only people allowed to actually get close to you were Ayaka and Thoma.

And when the wedding was over, it was time for your honeymoon. You were not excited about that, but it seemed Celestia itself was on your side during that time because he was too busy to spend time with you.

If he wasn't threatening the lives of your family, you would have made numerous escape attempts by now. Still, you've made it very clear that you hate his guts.

Your hatred is something he detests, though he can't fault you for it. He understands that what he's forced you into is wrong, but in his mind, it was something that had to be done. He's sure that given enough time and space, you'll grow to understand why he did what he did.

And even though you scorn his existence, Ayato looks at you as if you've placed the stars in the sky.

Your strings are forever tied together, so there's no getting out of this. He doesn't plan on ever letting you go. He'd be a terrible husband if he didn't keep you close, wouldn't he?

1K notes · View notes