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watchtowerindistress · 2 years

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we are not our demons (18/24) - bruce wayne x batmom

Gif source: jokerous

Author's note: SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL, BITCHES! instantly regrets the endearment A lot of things will be happening this chapter, so you'd better strap in, I'm serious. This chapter is actually longer than I expected, lol. It's one of the chapters I've been anticipating the most and therefore was most afraid to write.

This is the first time I did a Nolan/Tarantino and just switched the chronological timeline, but this time it was deliberate. I had big issues starting this off (what else is new?), so I just changed it up a bit.

Please excuse me using some 'The Killing Joke' quotes and butchering the whole everything of that comic. [Read more at the end.]

Beta-read by Heidi.

Words: 6.2k

Warning: language, violence, kinda dark themes

Please reblog/leave a comment.

Series Masterlist | Want to be tagged? | Read on AO3

Hang my head

Drown my fear

‘Til you all just disappear

- Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden -

“Gotta say, weirdest feeling ever being invited into Arkham,” Dick’s voice reverberated through the comms with an equal blend of weirded-out and teasing.

Behind her glasses, Ellie’s eyes narrowed when Dick’s blue-and-black superhero outfit came into view on the next CCTV camera. She tilted her head. “Are you walking on tiptoes right now?”

Dick’s lone figure tensed briefly and continued walking with a flatter stride, but ultimately his shoulders remained strained. “I was a circus artist. Learned ballet and stuff,” Dick defended with a calm voice.

“Please keep off the comms unless it’s important. Don’t get sidetracked,” Bruce’s modulated voice echoed in her ears with a deep timbre.

Someone meant business.

Ellie pressed her lips together to ward off her blushing cheeks. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself due to her nerves and the excitement for tonight’s mission. “Check,” she conceded and studied the available cameras for the asylum, but Batman’s shape still remained to be seen. Judging from his tracker, he was in the elevator shaft getting closer to the crème de la crème of the place.

“Are we sure it’s tonight, Batman?” Damian asked dubiously and brought them back to the mission preparation they just had before in the Batcave.

“Wait, run that by me again.” Ellie licked her lips and felt herself blinking furiously at what Bruce just revealed impromptu.

He sent her a furtive glance when he jostled the phone prototype amid the quiet hum of the elevator leading its inhabitants down to the basement.

“What did that guy say exactly?”

His eyes paused on her, with his eyebrow lifted high on his forehead. “You mean verbatim?”

“Why don’t you start by revealing who that was on the Bat-phone?”

Other than his throat clearing, Bruce remained unfazed when he spoke, “I got someone in the inside of the asylum. He told me the patients have been acting restlessly as of late.”

Ellie merely pursed her lips and a crease formed on her forehead at the absurdity of that one confession.

Dick stated, “Okay, most eerie sentence ever,” and let his finger point in the air to share his playful opinion.

“I concur wholeheartedly,” Ellie agreed with a swaying head before a sigh left her lips. “And here I thought I’d get a more challenging task than the Asylum’s defense.”

“There is more than just Arkham Asylum out there. Trust me,” Bruce replied with an indulgent smirk.

Ellie’s shoulders dropped in accepting disappointment. “Alright.”

As soon as everyone filtered into the cave, Ellie could get to work. After a combination of soft keystrokes, the monitors came to life.

Damian was silently watching the live footage of an athletic Harley Quinn doing slow and relaxing Yoga poses. At the moment she was cultivating an elaborate handstand that would make Ellie envious if she wasn’t this distracted by more important matters.

Bruce nodded to himself, having made up his mind for their mission. “It’s tonight. It has to be.”

“Wait, what’s with this mood lighting?” Dick’s head whipped around, almost like he was noticing the atmosphere for the first time. His voice reached her ears in a mischievous lilt.

Ellie glanced up from her position to be more aware of her surroundings. Dick managed to wrap that truth with a shroud of playfulness once he had his first impression of the modified cave.

Just like Bruce had promised, Alfred had dimmed the lights considerably until the fluorescence was no longer blinding. It even astonished and left her heart aflutter. Not to mention seeing a few technical adjustments to their hideout.

There was always this fascination seeing new technology within her grasp. Especially when she moved towards the object that had the impression of a normal—if not pricey-looking—table standing in the middle of their base. Her fingers reverently touched the milk glass, almost like she could feel being in the presence of high tech, only to see a ripple effect forming underneath.

The words ‘Welcome Miss Rhodes’ conjured next to her right.

Ellie didn’t know whether to feel freaked out or mesmerized by this tech’s high prowess in knowing her identity.

“I adapted the tech to fit your needs.”

Behind her, the soothing warmth of Bruce’s body resembled that of a shield originating from her right side. Ellie’s mesmerized gaze moved away from the touchscreen display to shift over towards the new presence.

Before she could continue asking, Bruce explained like he had been reading her mind, “It’s linked to a satellite of Wayne Enterprises. We call it the Satellite Intelligence and Gravitational Network of Artificial Level. S.I.G.N.A.L. for short.”

“You have a satellite?” Her head turned in surprise before she muttered quietly, “Of course, you have a satellite.” Ellie shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just gifted me a satellite.”

Bruce shrugged with a quiet sigh. “The one we had to rebuild after Superman destroyed it, yes. And it’s a satellite link.”

The boys seemed to have noticed their exchange when—like a kid on Christmas awaiting their presents—Dick’s laser-focused glance switched over to her new toy.

“Oh dang, holy Batman!” he exclaimed before his emotional outburst morphed into a reverential murmur the closer he ventured towards them. “New gadgets,” Dick murmured with an awe-filled voice.

“Just for the HQ.” Bruce barely tamed his son’s elation with the lift of an eyebrow.

Dick shrugged haphazardly at that. “I don’t mind. Just so you know, my escrima sticks could use an upgrade too, you know?” It was hard to imagine how his pout could rival Tim’s. “An extra kick would be nice, y’know what I mean?”

Ellie didn’t see Bruce’s reaction, but his long sigh was the familiar epitome to Dick’s playful ideas, or maybe just the weariness of parenthood had been creeping up on him. Listening quietly, Ellie’s brows lifted high on her forehead. Half curious about their conversation and half expectant to get to their nightly mission.

“We’ll see,” Bruce mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Maybe Alfred could try his hand at that,” he offered with a contemplative expression.

Dick’s arrogant pout was perfectly in sync with his head nodding in understanding.

Bruce’s eyes met Damian’s expectantly, whose arm leaned with a devil-may-care attitude against the edge of the table. Ellie absolutely loved this state-of-the-art technology. It was one of the reasons why her eyes lingered with deep fascination on the interface display slowly coming to life, and not Bruce’s response.

“Anything else to add to the shopping list, Damian?”

“I could use a flamethrower,” the young one replied with a blank expression, and kept going once he met the anticipating faces of his father and Ellie riveted on him. Damian pursed his lips in contemplation, racking his brain on how to indulge his lethal instincts.

“Too much? A taser?” Rapid-fire suggestions left his mouth when he was met with reluctance. “Something small to electrocute my enemies with? Like, let’s say … how does 300,000 Volt sound?”

His father’s eye twitched at the blatant display of just pure violence. Dick gazed at Damian while hugging his body with a cocked hip. “How about overkill?”

“You could incapacitate someone with that.”

“Maybe that’s the point.”

“How much AMP?”

"3.6 milliamp."

Bruce paused in thought before consenting ultimately. “Alright. But the moment someone loses their memory, we’ll adjust.”

“Fine.” Damian’s lips thinning was the only facial gesture revealing his emotions to that compromise.

“Wonderful.” Ellie lightly clapped her hands together to move things along. Her sideways glance met Bruce when she inquired, “Back to the task?”

He nodded briefly before saying, “Yes.”

At first, the modern technology was something to get used to. But Ellie still adored the integrative innovation—it just needed a few minutes to connect to the Batcomputer. The files she was looking for slowly pulled up when she swiped the blueprint of Arkham Asylum to the main screen of the milk glass surface.

“This might seem familiar to you, guys,” Ellie surmised once everyone had a good view of the access points.

“As of now, we have been formally invited to Arkham Asylum,” Bruce’s declaration sounded ominous enough as it was.

Ellie’s head nodded in severity while Dick’s blue eyes settled on the visual illustration and his hands braced against his hips. “What’s the game plan?”

“Damian and I go ahead. Dick, you’re following behind on the bike. We go in through the back entrance. Go in separate directions and cover as much ground as possible.”

Damian furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. “Divide and conquer,” he hummed, nodding carefully.

Ellie sent him a crooked smirk as her brown eyes twinkled in delight. “Someone’s really digging that strategy.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Damian explained, “What can I say? I deeply admire Caesar’s techniques.”

Dick’s eye moved confusedly in his sockets. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” he muttered under his breath.

Bruce cleared his throat to get them back on track. “As I was saying, we move quickly. And always notify our status over the comms. Quinn is kept in the East Wing, in one of the maximum containment cells.”

Ellie only had one thing to add. “Not to mention, deemed highly dangerous. Security thought she’d incentivize people into riots if they kept her just in the violent ward with the others.”

Damian merely nodded in consent while Dick remained mild-mannered, and replied, “Duly noted.”

“Suit up,” Bruce commanded with an authoritative voice, leaving no room for objections.

“Yes,” Bruce offered, not leaving room for any argument. “Status on Quinn?”

“I’m sorry, but if you request contact to the command center of this Bat-Lair, you’re gonna have to use the designated code name.”

Bruce’s loud sigh made her lips twitch and judging by the snickers emanating from Dick and Damian, they too agreed with teasing Bruce just for a little bit. Several seconds passed, prompting Ellie to patiently raise her eyebrows and wonder if he was going to cave.

Bruce coughed before he finally uttered through clenched teeth, “Aether, tell me the status on Harley Quinn.”

“What’s with that look?”

Bruce tilted his head in fascination. “I don’t know. Maybe I was really afraid you’d still choose Lady Pumpkin.”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, Lady Pumpkin Patch, if I may. Besides, didn’t want to use my former grey hat hacker name—I mean, not that I would ever dabble in something like that.”

“Sure.” He pursed his lips mockingly with a nod. “How long did it take you to find the right alias?”

Ellie licked her lips, remembering all the possibilities and how most of them were either outlandish or already taken. Mentally, she pumped her clenched fist in frustration.

Damn you, Spectre.

“There were definitely some lists.”

“Why Aether then?”

“It originated from Greek mythology.”

Bruce hummed in acknowledgment. “Primordial deity.”

Ellie’s eyes widened in amazement at his lightning-fast intellect but admonished herself just as fast. Why was she still surprised by this man’s deep knowledge? “Exactly. The Aether is the epitome of the upper sky and basically the pure upper air that the Gods breathe.” Ellie shrugged her shoulders, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. “Maybe I just like the idea of being your eye in the sky.”

Ellie could feel Dick’s presence behind her, especially when he used the back of her revolving chair she was sitting on as a support for his arms. Dick was leaning against it and casually steered her movements out of sheer amusement.

“I think it’s great,” Dick threw in and instantly managed to soothe her worries of sounding cheesy when she threw her head back to send him a grateful smile.

A certain someone sounded close to growling.

Ellie shut off her comm line to giggle to herself before she got serious again when she answered, “In her cell. Doing the plank pose…” Her eyes lingered in enthrallment on the woman’s steady core training while she was holding herself up with the underside of her arm. “Quite expertly if I do say so myself,” Ellie muttered under her breath.

“I’ll report to you when there are new status updates.”

“Ditto.”

Ellie exhaled loudly, shutting off her audio. This night turned out to be even more stressful than she anticipated. Her arms stretched out in front of her when a hand brushed her shoulder.

“Oh, dear God!” Ellie shrieked and pressed a hand against her chest. The spot where she was touched shifted from ice-cold shock to a hot mark of mortification. Her eyes wandered to her right side before her breathing turned back to normal. “You’re such a Ninja-Alfred—don’t do that to me, okay?”

Alfred’s lips twitched at the coined name before his hands clasped together inches away from his stomach. “My deepest apologies for my stealthiness, Miss Ellie.”

“Accepted,” Ellie conceded with an exhaling breath.

Tim’s small figure stepped away from behind Alfred’s tall frame like he had been silently standing there all along—

someone had been learning from Damian after all—

and clasped his fingertips on the edge of the table while gazing at the computer display.

“Hey, Timmy,” came Ellie’s softly spoken words. It was hard to resist the urge to comb her hand through his hair—the intelligent boy always had this rumpled look to him. Who didn’t want to squeeze those pinchable cheeks?

“Hi, Ellie,” Tim replied with a barely audible voice. His moss-green eyes met hers for a fragment of a second before they were lingering on Harley’s hands talking to each other.

“I thought Master Tim here needed a breath of fresh air from one of his binge-reading sessions, as the young kids like to call it,” Alfred thankfully answered her unspoken question. “We’re not here to disrupt your progress. This young gentleman wants to observe my chore of upgrading equipment.”

Ellie’s head tilted to look at the side of Tim’s face. “Someone’s turning into a young Alfred, huh?” she praised the boy before she was forced to shift her focus back to the task she was initially assigned for. “Sorry, guys, gotta devote my time to some clowns for a bit, alright?”

“Proceed. We’ll be right around the corner at the workstation,” Alfred offered with the wave of his hand and stepped backwards, prompting Tim to move ahead. The small kid’s movements were awkward and slow-paced when his footsteps thudded lightly on the ground.

“Can I hold the screwdriver, Alfred?” he inquired curiously when he placed the wooden stool near his feet and elevated himself to a higher level.

“I need steady hands though. You think you can be my little assistant?”

Tim quietly nodded, with his eyes already focusing on the shock gloves needing another upgrade.

With a smile tugging on her lips, Ellie shifted her body back until she was facing the Batcomputer again.

“Robin, what’s your status?”

Silence followed Batman’s order. A predicament which made Ellie’s head do a double-take. Taking the second monitor to her advantage, the tips of her fingers pressed fluidly against the keypad to access the GPS tracker in the Robin suit.

Ellie frowned with an intense aura once Damian’s location became visible. “I can trace Robin’s position back to the hallway close to the containment cells.”

Before her alert status was even fully articulated, Batman’s figure rushed through the air on the security footage.

“I thought we were supposed to talk to each other,” Dick mused grumpily.

A statement which incited Bruce to retort with a growling voice, “Just focus on the task at hand.”

Deep suspicion throbbed at the back of her head when Harley looked straight ahead, with her blue eyes staring intensely at something behind the containment glass. The woman was standing so close to the barrier that it was hard to distinguish which kind of emotions boiled behind those ocean eyes. Menace was radiating in waves off of her.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, a masked Joker goon stepped into view, with his back turned towards her. Chills erupted on her forearms when the clown slowly turned his head until he was looking directly into the camera.

Disgust coiled her stomach into knots as she groaned, “Screw this Purge shit.”

Someone coughing barely reached her senses. “Everything alright there, Miss Rhodes?”

“Just splendid, Alfred,” Ellie replied instantaneously before she let her fingers do their hacker magic. Her brown eyes strained vehemently on the heat signature painting a vivid picture of the threat ahead.

“I detect about a dozen hostiles. Get ready, it’s starting.”

“Understood,” Bruce replied with an ominous voice after a moment of silence.

Tension wreaked through her body when she switched between the camera channels, but unfortunately the Joker was a no-show and only his crazy thugs roamed the halls without a care in the world. Not to mention, no sign of Damian either.

Ellie’s hand covered her clenched fist which shielded her mouth. “Please, be alright,” she whispered into her palms in a prayer. “I’ve sent you Robin’s location to the tracer device. You’re about 500 feet away from him.”

“We’ll find him,” the caped crusader assured her.

“Is that you, Batman?” The notoriously high voice resounded in her ears.

Ellie’s head whipped in the air once she connected the guffawing nature of the sound with the origin. She held her breath as the sensation of ants crawling underneath her skin made the extent of her worst fears for tonight’s mission come to fruition.

Son of a bitch.

With a gradual sweep, Ellie’s eyes shifted to the left side of the screen and identified the transforming waveform of the communication link next to the codename ‘Robin’. The muscles surrounding her mouth stiffened at the Joker’s violation.

“Why won’t you talk to me, Batsy?” Joker said after heavy silence hung in the air.

All-consuming tenacity infiltrated her veins like a parasite when her upper body shifted into a more agile stance. “I’ve opened a separate channel. Joker has access to our line with the help of Robin’s radio device. Keep him talking. I still have no visual on Joker or Robin yet.”

“Got it,” Dick stated hurriedly over the radio. “En route from the Southeast corridor.”

The clown’s voice was starting to grate on her ears. “I know you’re in here. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been desperate to get in touch with me. Is something the matter, Batsy?”

“Stop playing games, Joker,” Batman grunted lowly as his blinking dot got increasingly closer to the younger vigilante, and hopefully their target as well.

“And take all the fun away?” He giggled with a demented air that didn’t fail to leave shivers down her spine. “You’re just as humorless as this little bird here.” Joker’s pregnant pause gave way to something far more sinister lurking underneath.

“You have something to say to the good ol’ bat?” A humming noise reverberated from deep within his chest. “No, nothing to say? Looks like someone’s too stubborn for his own good. I got ways of making people talk,” Joker stressed every word of that last sentence with a ground whisper.

“Leave Robin out of this.”

“Why don’t you say that to my face? But first, you’ve got to find me,” he sing-songed devilishly.

Ellie’s eyes zeroed in on the scene she was witnessing when she leaned forward, pushing her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose. She whispered quietly into the microphone device, “I got visual on Robin and Joker. They’re on the platform leading to the containment cells.”

“All this attention just for little ol’ me? Tell me something, Batsy, when are you finally going to break your rules? You barely bent them for that little birdie. I wonder … how far are you willing to go for Commissioner Gordon’s niece?”

~ Bruce POV~

Bruce forced himself to remain calm in his composure as the halls surrounding him grew darker the closer he got to the blinking dot of his son. His jaw clenched at the reminder of Jason’s fate and the meaningless abuse on Barbara.

As much as Bruce wanted to release his inhibitions to hurt his nemesis in return, under no circumstances could he unveil his pressure point to him.

Bruce’s features twisted into a disgusted grimace. “You hurt Barbara … because you wanted to prove something? If you were half a man, you would stop being a coward and face me without hiding behind a child,” he enunciated the last word calmly despite the turmoil ravaging inside him. The dark cape swooshed near the ground behind him when he rounded the corner—

and faced the one thing he had been dreading for weeks on end.

Bruce sighed under his breath. Joker was standing on the opposite end of the bridge while his crazed thugs held Damian captive with the threat of using their firearms against him.

As usual, Damian was facing his opponents with a stubborn glare and a sharp jaw. Other than a red bruise forming on his cheek.

At last, Bruce’s eyes targeted the delighted expression in the Joker’s bright green-eyed gaze. His purple glove-covered hands stretched out in a flamboyant attitude on each side, a golf club clenched tightly in one glove. “Well, here I am,” the green-dyed man giggled from afar. “And it looks like I found another Robin.”

Bruce stopped in his tracks when the words he heard from a distance echoed like a haunting trigger in his ears as well. Stretching out his gloved fingers, he resisted the urge to create some friction at his fingertips and reveal another weakness. Not necessarily an outcome Bruce preferred in the grand scheme of things.

Disappointment was the predominant expression on his face when the Joker shook his head, dropping his hands at his waist. “Not the welcome I expected.”

“How did you expect me to react exactly?”

“Grateful,” he hissed with a menacing whisper, “I’m trying to open your eyes here, but you make it so much harder than it needs to be.”

“Keep him talking,” Ellie’s whispering voice said in his ear softly and calmed his thudding heart, “Nightwing is right underneath you and will act on your signal.”

Bruce’s gaze swerved to Damian’s right and subtly hummed in consent.

“I’m listening. What do you want to show me?”

“Your true self. Don’t you realize that all it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy?” Like the thought itself was hilarious, his voice pitched even higher. “That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Surely, you must have. You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else… only you won’t admit it!”

This psychology lesson was starting to grate on his nerves the longer he had to listen to Joker’s delusions, especially since he couldn’t control his son getting even more hurt the further this was prolonged.

“Barbara was innocent in all of this.”

“She was necessary. A means to an end to the grand play.”

Every single word he uttered was pulled apart with a growling sensation. “Let. Robin. Go.”

Joker’s erratic scream echoed through the asylum, “As soon as you finally admit it!” before the sound transformed into maniacal laughter. “That we’re the same.” His hands hid behind his back as he casually walked around Damian’s body when he tried to prove his point. The threatening glint of the metal shone under the asylum’s lights. “Only I realized that nothing made sense—that code of yours, of value, of morality—it means nothing. You think those rules are protecting people?”

A twisted smirk drew on his curved lips as an icy expression took over his eyes. “When I saw what a dark, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a nut! And I’m smart enough to admit it! So why can’t you!?” The green in his eyes only intensified with the crazed look. “You’re clinging to this reality, and you’re desperately denying the reality of the situation! Everything anybody’s ever valued or struggled for—it’s all just a bad joke.”

God, that guy needed psychological help.

The shoulders in his dark-purple suit shook with erupting chuckles that grew with intensity at the mere idea. “So why can’t you see the funny side!? WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING!!??”

“We are not the same,” Bruce replied calmly.

Joker exhaled loudly. “You disappoint me, Batman,” he muttered gravely. Before long, his face turned dark as he slowly lifted his head and sent him a diabolical glance from under his eyelashes.

“Don’t you see?” The gloves squeaked with its movement when his grip tightened on the metal equipment. “You’re just one bad day away from being me,” Joker breathed with exertion before whooping laughter wrenched free from his chest.

“Woohoohoo,” he exclaimed gleefully and swung his golf club, striking behind him.

“No!” Bruce’s voice scrambler contorted his outcry when his eyes widened.

~ Ellie POV ~

Tears gathered in the corner of Ellie’s eyes. Her palms covered her mouth in shock to ward off the scream in mid-cry. Soundless static rang in her ears at the horrifying video revealing the pained expression underneath Damian’s mask as he was brought to his knee, holding his arm to his chest.

Robin’s health stats were displayed above his audio waveform. His heartbeat intensified at the added injury, giving off bouts of anxiety.

“Damian,” Ellie heard behind her quietly. With a stricken face, the brunette stood up from her seat and detected Tim was standing behind her—and closer than she first realized.

Her back shielded most of the Batcomputer from any onlookers, but the boy still had seen enough. Her eyes wandered towards Alfred’s concerned gaze and hoped he understood what she was asking for here. “Alfred, could you—?” she begged with a thick voice.

“Certainly, Miss Ellie,” Alfred assured her and moved in the direction of Tim.

Ellie pleaded with him, “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t do that if—”

Alfred nodded once before soothing her worries. “Nothing to worry about. We’ll be on the floor below.”

Tim’s widened eyes looking back tore at her heartstrings. But unfortunately, Ellie needed to jump in the cold water again, she realized, when she sat in the chair. Her fingers were shaking nervously above the keyboard, feeling too stunned to react. The edges of her sight blurred with a throbbing pulse until she clenched her hands into fists. Trying to fend off the chill which had taken root in her body.

After a moment’s hesitation, Ellie worked on accessing the asylum’s power grid. Her heart only hammered more vigorously in her chest at witnessing Joker deliver a blow over the head when he was lying defenselessly on the platform.

Jesus. Ellie absolutely was starting to loathe this retro network.

“Wouldn’t it be a shame if this one endured the same fate as its predecessor? You love birds with broken wings, don’t you?”

She frowned deeply in perplexed stupor when Batman wasted no time in utilizing the grappling hook—generally intended for scaling walls—

and targeted the Joker’s throat. With the flick of his wrist the criminal was dragged like an accelerated magnet towards him. The tips of Joker’s feet crawled on the metal grid underneath before a hard punch so powerful sent him flying over the ledge. Without glancing back, Batman dropped the hook, letting the end of it anchor on the edge of the railing. A dangling Joker was gasping for breath and clawing for his throat.

Nightwing sprinted under the metal overpass and spoke incredulously on comms, “That was supposed to be the signal? Really?”

“We need to get the Joker. Just keep Robin safe,” Ellie reminded Dick with intense fervor.

His black-and-blue suit jumped from underneath and with a somersault kicked an assailant in the face before landing on his feet. “On it.”

Despite the grievous injuries, Damian tried his best to fend for himself when his stepbrother came to his defense, fighting together back-to-back.

The sound of quick keystrokes was a dull diversion thumping at the back of her head when her brain tried to comprehend her viewpoint. The mess of everything was truly starting to gnaw at Ellie once Bruce’s rigid stature stalked towards the ledge.

Ambiguity marred her features as soon as her eyes switched between Joker’s hollering face—notwithstanding the life-threatening situation he was in—and Bruce just silently staring at him with a blank face. The corners of her mouth twisted with torn emotion as Joker lifted his arm in surrender, pleading with Batman to be saved.

“Is this really how you want this to end, Batsy?” he taunted with a wheezing murmur.

This was seriously getting out of hand, Ellie perceived numbly.

The electric grid was laid in front of her eyes, including the code to initiate a lockdown. At the last second, Ellie opted for a lockout instead of merely a power grid outage to keep everyone contained. She felt close to tasting her success when the blueprint glared red before an error alert displayed ‘Electricity outage initiated’.

“What?” Ellie hissed, throwing her hands in the air in utter dismay. Her gaze twisted back to the live footage and found the asylum doused into darkness.

“What was that?” Batman’s voice inquired urgently.

“That wasn’t me,” she spoke into the microphone defensively. “You’ll get power back in a few seconds,” Ellie confided in them as her fingers entered its new command into the network. She closed her eyes in immense failure after studying the asylum halls and knowing the one thing for sure she had suspected.

The Joker had already disappeared.

Ellie’s breath released with a long exhale. Her hands were tightened into fists. Her jaw was clenched while she was trying with all her might to keep her cry of frustration in. With her wide eyes and mouth agape, she was facing the screen. Feeling so empty in a way she had never felt before.

“I didn’t do this,” she stated with a dazed sensation in her chest and pressed her lips together.

Her body was operating on auto-pilot when she called in everyone for a mission debrief. Everyone except Dick who stayed behind to placate the executives at Arkham Asylum.

Ellie’s jaw hardened once this unfamiliar code was branded into her eyeballs. She rubbed the heel of her hand against her closed eyelids. Ellie just felt so drained, like she had persisted through the end of a therapy session.

A heavy exhale pushed through her chest when she stood up, only for her breathing to pick up as well. Ellie’s eyes didn’t meet anything in particular with her head bowed down.

With great and surprising finesse, her voice sounded without emotion when she called out, “I need some fresh air, okay, Alfred? The others will arrive in 15 minutes.”

Her unfocused eyes stared right ahead while Alfred said in return, “Duly noted, Miss Ellie.”

Her gait was unhurried and Ellie stroked the tips of her fingers together when she was struggling to understand why her heart started thudding in her ears while quiet tears crept in the corner of her eyes.

Why was it so hard to keep everything together?

Furiously, Ellie shook her head as the familiar walls of the corridor met her eyes. The fingertips of her right hand brushed against the wall to hold onto something as long as she wanted to remain conscious. Inhaling deep breaths turned out to be a mistake when her breathing stuttered with nervous energy. With every inhale and exhale, Ellie got closer to the entrance door of the manor—she could almost taste that whiff of relief.

She breathed out as soon as the biting air occupied her lungs. Stepping out onto the front entryway, Ellie’s hands vigorously brushed her wool cardigan, feeling grateful for the autumn chill.

Trying to find something—just anything to hold onto—her head anxiously swerved around. Every breath was starting to hurt. Even breathing in was a struggle not to break down. Hot tears only intensified the bout of frustration swelling up, threatening to swallow her whole. Ellie’s chest rose irregularly with every breath as her hands settled on her hips. Burning teardrops streamed relentlessly down her cheeks and it felt just so useless.

Damian’s anguished eyes flashing through her mind was the last and only thought taking over before control was an inconceivable sentiment.

Ellie’s hands were clenched into fists while she crouched low to her knees. A long wailing cry of despair pierced through the night sky until there was no longer any air left in her lungs. Until her vocal cords felt sore. Ellie’s chilling and stuttering breath was visible in front of her very eyes. A savage emotion lit up in those orbs when her breathing returned back to normal.

However, her lungs were still scorching ceaselessly.

“What was that?” Bruce’s cowl was still covering his face when he energetically jumped out of the Batmobile. His hardened jaw was the only thing she saw underneath that mask. His partial expression stood in frightening contrast when he walked briskly into the lair.

Ellie was still sitting behind the Batcomputer while her absentminded eyes followed Alfred helping a bruised Damian step out of the vehicle. There was a twinge in her chest just looking at him.

“There was another hacker tonight,” Ellie revealed numbly, just recalling that unexpected invasion hurt her pride enough. Something in Bruce’s eyes stood out to her. Ellie’s expression turned shocked. “You don’t believe me? I intended to initiate a lockdown and not a power outage. I meant to keep everyone contained. Not only that, but I mean, we still got Harley Quinn.”

“That’s all we got.” Bruce’s chest rumbled with emotion as another failure hit him. “We’ve got no guarantee that Joker is going to come after her again just for the fun of it.”

Alfred and Tim flanked Damian’s side when the older brother sent a silent but concerned glance towards him.

“You good?” Tim asked him with a low whisper and tilted his head in doing so.

A question to which Damian merely nodded briskly, without uttering a single word to display what he was currently feeling. The bruises on his forehead and cheek were starting to darken. Ellie believed there was more to the mask Damian was shielding behind to cover up the vulnerability, he would under no circumstances put on display.

Damian spoke up for the first time, “What’s done is done. We need to think about another strategy and regroup.”

A feeling of gratefulness hit her instantly that this kid was trying to alleviate budding tension which soon shifted into regret once her inquiring gaze lingered on the consequences of tonight. The Joker got him good—Ellie was honestly surprised how Damian was still standing upright.

Her eyes wandered back to Bruce again, worried about the effects the Joker left behind on all of them. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?”

“You mean that Damian sustained grave trauma or that I hesitated when Joker hung over the ledge?”

Ellie’s body winced at Bruce’s frankness that bordered on scathing. “He was trying to push you over the edge and there was a part of you that at least considered it.”

His eyes narrowed as his arms crossed over his chest, getting ready to push back. “You want to talk about my misgivings, that’s fine, but don’t forget that you let someone else get the better of you.”

Ellie’s features turned to stone when Bruce managed to hit the one spot she was still sore about. She was the only one who could put herself down due to her struck pride. Mortification heated up in her belly as the fight for control was hard enough, but she barely reined it in.

Alfred chose this moment to tame any more tension-filled conversations. “If I may say, I believe we all need to take a breather and get a good night’s sleep.”

Ellie could feel Bruce’s heavy stare on her while he was mutely just looking at her without saying anything.

“You’re probably right,” Bruce replied, sending the older man a brief glance before he walked off without another word.

Exhaling heavily, Ellie stared after him with unsaid emotions as her back sagged in her seat. She let a strained smile draw on her lips when her eyes met Damian’s again. “Let’s get you patched up, huh?”

The youngest Wayne child was escorted a floor below to the med bay. For the first time, his features twisted into a pained grimace once he was lying down on the operating table.

Wordlessly, Ellie’s eyes studied his injuries, and the young woman could feel her heart tear into pieces.

This was just so unfair.

Her inner upheaval must’ve shown on her expression when Damian’s chocolate-brown eyes met hers. The first droplets of sweat gathered above his eyebrows.

“I’ll survive,” he whispered with a tense voice, already understanding the inner thoughts she was stuck with.

And the tears were back in her eyes.

She forced a comforting smile on her face as much as it pained her to muster it up and nodded. Iron resolve settled in her bones the longer Ellie gazed at him. Damian might see himself as utterly wicked, but to her the young one was an innocent child who didn’t deserve this kind of pain. Only because of a man who wanted to corrupt the people around him.

Ellie ground her teeth as her decision was made final.

No more.

A/N: The following code names were in the run: Overlord, Nemesis, Corvus, Zero-Day and Grey Hat. To be honest, I wanted the alias to sound dope and have a profound meaning at the same time. Overlord would've been only cool because of the Led Zeppelin reference, lol.

Small trivia about Aether: he embodies the pure upper air that the gods breathe, as opposed to the normal air breathed by mortals. I chose Aether because Ellie's literally the eye in the sky, and I didn't want to steal "Watchtower" from Smallville.

Tagging:@mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @alwayshave-faith @ikranfuad @daydreaming-gemini @bluegalaxyprime @liadamerondjarin @steph21369 @andrewswifes-blog @yanna-banana @blackmagicwoman

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islandfate · 11 months

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s2 character recap time!!! this may get somewhat controversial but i am excited to share my feelings, so enjoy what's below the cut! i had a loooot of emotions this season and my fav man ever appeared so, that made me very happy. but some characters made me very UNHAPPY which you will see. also i really needed to finish this up so some character recaps are a little short. whatever. anyway!! enough chatter, let’s get on with it.

ben – you knew this was coming. there’s no way in hell i could talk about a lost season without starting with my favorite character ever, both in lost and otherwise: benjamin linus! now obviously we don’t get a lot of information about benry this season, and from what we do get, most of that isn’t even genuine. the ben we see here is just ... not who ben actually is!! the manipulation and the lies – yes, absolutely. his sass, too, which does slip out when he’s posing as henry gale. but his genuine personality is so wildly different from s2. this man doesn’t give a damn if he’s beat up. you could hold a gun to his head and he wouldn’t even blink. bc he always knows he can weasel his way out of everything!! but he’s gotta play it up as henry so .... obviously he’s gonna act scared and pathetic. honestly though, there isn’t one scene ben is in that i don’t adore. as usual, he captures the scene every time and just fully enhances it, even when placed next to characters i don’t really like. i am truly under the impression that ben was caught on purpose bc no way was that man wearing THAT outfit. and him getting caught in a trap just seems unlikely. but anyway, he was such a treat this season and just makes the show so much better.

charlie – i truly believe that charlie was done so dirty this season. as a whole, i don’t mind the idea of charlie having to continue battling his heroin addiction; i think the island tests people in different ways, and this was an interesting ( and heartbreaking ) way to go about it. what i didn’t like was the way everyone else reacted. ‘fire + water’ is already not the best episode, but to see the entire camp treat charlie as if he was nothing more than a drug addict, when it’s clear that other people have seen insane, nonsensical things﹘shannon seeing walt, kate and sawyer seeing the black horse, jack seeing his fucking dead dad﹘and not really been judged about it? it just rubs me the wrong way. charlie was unable to control himself, he was doing this while sleepwalking, and the one time he actually does take arron on his own merit is because he’s truly convinced that this is the right thing to do. and we have no evidence that charlie is even going to hurt aaron. but the whole camp ganging up on him, locke punching him, charlie being ostracized﹘to me, it’s just fucked up. no one tried to help him. and locke switched up on him so fast! i get locke was losing faith in the island, but to treat charlie like he was nothing more than a junkie really had me mad lol. i just think charlie just wasn’t given a whole lot of amazing screentime. i know that’s going to change in s3 for obvious reasons, but overall, i didn’t like charlie’s arc in s2.

sayid – ohhh sayid … here’s where my possible controversial opinions are coming into play. as stated in my previous character recap, i’ve never been a huge fan of sayid, simply because i don’t find him all that interesting. his flashbacks don’t really do it for me. and sayid in s2, well, i think he might be one of the most terrifying survivors. not necessarily in a good way, either. i understand that losing shannon was devastating for sayid, but the way he retaliates against the others is not it for me! there was absolutely zero evidence that henry gale was an other besides sayid’s gut instinct. and to me, enacting violence simply based on a feeling doesn’t cut it. obviously, later on, we know henry gale is an other. it’s ben. but, the survivors don’t know this at the time, and to see what sayid does to him is genuinely disturbing. he completely loses it, and if jack weren’t able to open that door, i have no doubt that sayid would’ve killed ben. even when sayid, ana lucia, and charlie go to find the balloon, sayid immediately jumps to the conclusion that ben lied without even looking around for it. he wants to kill him. he’s bloodthirsty, and that’s scary! but i do think it’s interesting how sayid is painted in this positive light, mostly because we’re seeing these events through the eyes of the survivors. and they trust sayid, however deranged he may become. but i like how they leave that trace of hesitation in the viewers; you watch sayid do this and you question it. it’s just interesting. and i love sayid’s line, “my name is sayid jarrah, and i am a torturer.” the look on ben’s face is great, and i just love him and sayid in this scene together. after this, though, sayid fades into the background for me. but from what i saw of him this season, i do not like sayid. i think his methods are questionable and always resort to violence. sayid might’ve been right about ben, but you even see later that ben is willing to talk without violence. it’s like there’s no other option in sayid’s head, and i just don’t like it! again, not saying he’s badly written, i simply don’t like his actions and i think there’s always another, usually better, way.

locke – as a general locke stan, i was surprised to see how much i disliked him in this season. which i guess isn’t anything new, that’s what this show does, but i expected to be a little more empathetic to his problems. i think how he treated charlie, however, really put a bad taste in my mouth, and it was just hard to watch anything with him afterward. genuinely, the only time i like locke in this season is when he has scenes with ben. i will always live by the fact that those two are the most interesting; i love their insane relationship, and to see the way ben gets under locke’s skin, even this early on, is so fun. ben truly is the reason locke decides not to press the button. crazy! locke just becomes so much more compelling when he’s having one of his verbal spars with ben. and the acting between those two is phenomenal. i’m sure i’ll have much more to say on these two in s3, especially s4, but i like what we see of them in this season. other than his ben scenes, however, i wasn’t finding myself enjoying many of his episodes. i think he’s so out of character in ‘fire + water,’ because to make locke angry enough that he would punch someone should take more than charlie taking aaron. something like that should be in a locke-centric episode. it was just … so stupid! and i’m not faulting the character for this, moreso the writers, but at the end of the day that’s what’s canon, so it’s what i’m going to judge. he just didn’t feel like the same character and it threw me off a bit.

jack – alright. as crazy as it is to say, i didn’t completely hate jack this season. he has his moments where he pisses me off, which is usual for him, but for the most part i didn’t mind his scenes and was actually on his side in some instances. mainly, when sayid was beating ben up and jack told locke he’d let the timer go down to zero if he didn’t open the door. i was like yes!! you did that!!! now jack made me mad with his dismissal of walt, telling michael that they were going to go find walt … just not yet? and when michael goes off to find the others and jack, locke, and sawyer follow, they’re obviously stopped by mr. tom friendly, who brings kate out, who was secretly following behind ( literally only because jack was being annoying and said she couldn’t go ). and jack seriously considers letting kate die in order to keep guns. that just made me so fucking mad i will not even lie to you. it’s jack’s fault for not letting kate come along; he knows how she is. and why he didn’t let her go with them is beyond me. i also enjoyed the scenes between jack and locke. the man of science / man of faith argument. it’s something that stays steady in the rest of the series, and i just really like their dynamic in this season. and jack playing poker was a little cute … i’ll admit. he was more in the background this season so i don’t have a whole lot more to say about him, but for once, i did not loathe this character!

ana lucia – not once in my life have i been a genuine fan of ana lucia. i’ve always felt a little indifferent toward her, but this season she was truly testing my patience. while i don’t completely blame her for shooting shannon﹘i know she was just afraid of the others﹘i think she was still a little too quick to shoot for having been a cop ( or maybe that’s exactly why LOL ). and her seeming lack of guilt for doing this is what also made me question her. i didn’t mind her relationship with sayid, that was interesting, but she didn’t seem to have many true relationships with anyone else. she and eko barely talk after they reach the beach camp, if at all. i guess she’s friends with jack, but their whole talk of an army didn’t even go anywhere, so i don’t exactly see what the point of that was. i just think she was in the right place to get killed off because she didn’t have much going for her, however terrible that is to say; it’s shocking, but probably not in a devastating way. it’s only really horrifying when libby is shot and lives, at least for a little bit. ana lucia simply didn’t do much for me. i didn’t despise her, but i didn’t really like her, either. she was just … there. always has been, and probably always will be!

eko – eko has always been one of my favorite characters. i think his backstory is not only intriguing, but completely heartbreaking, and seeing him become the new priest after yemi dies truly destroys me. i liked his short-lived friendship with ana lucia, and i just really enjoy the scenes he’s in. he has this air about him that makes you want to just … listen to what he says. and i think some of his quotes are the best in the series. i don’t necessarily agree with his idea to build a church, but i liked that he wanted to, and that he was still honoring his brother’s memory even now. and the plane boone died in being connected to eko still blows my mind. especially the fact that boone was literally talking to bernard on the radio. anyway, i think he’s just such a cool character, not only by looks but also by his personality. he’s gentle, but hardened. and he’s not afraid to kill if he has to. i just really like that, what can i say. his theme is also one of my favorites, something i of course have to mention, considering what a soundtrack junkie i am. overall, he’s just such a great character and it’s a shame we don’t get to see more done with him.

desmond – desmond!! he is absolutely one of my favorite characters in this show, definitely in my top five. maybe even my top three. i think he’s such a great addition, and not only are his centric episodes some of the best in the entire series ( flashes before your eyes?! THE CONSTANT?! god they’re soooo good ) but he’s also such a compelling character. i love his personality and i think he’s so fun to watch on screen. we don’t get a whole lot of him in this season, so i can’t say much about him, but i truly do adore him and he’s one of those characters post s1 that just makes this show so good. like, just an iconic fucking guy. i will never not love desmond and i think the writers killed it with him!! when he realizes that he may have crashed oceanic flight 815?? chills, every time. so good. ugh!

michael – as anyone who knows me knows, michael is one of my favorite characters in this show. something about him is so fascinating to me and i really just love his relationship with walt and how it completely shapes his actions. how love warps the very nature of his being, as we see in this season. it’s so fucked that he loses walt almost as soon as he gets him back. and i think his desperation is so … human. so understandable. and just heartbreaking. i honestly don’t know a whole lot of parents who wouldn’t kill for their children, so michael’s actions, however terrible, do make sense to me. if jack or locke or anyone had reached out more, had offered to help, had gone and done something for walt, then none of what happens might’ve happened. and if they’d done that, if they’d even bothered to have tried, then maybe michael would have trusted them enough to tell them what he had to do. because easily, michael could’ve told jack that he needed these four people to come with him to meet the others, and that they needed to let ben go. but he doesn’t, because he feels alone. and he’s terrified that he’ll never get to see walt again. however selfish it may be, it’s so compelling, and i just … fucking love this plot. it’s one of my favorites in the show﹘not only the benry gale era, but michael committing these murders in general. both things are just so unexpected and shocking. and you can see how horrified michael is by his own actions, and as we later witness, how much this really affects him in the long run. this whole plotline is just sooo crushing, but in the best way possible. i truly believe that it’s the best part of s2 and i will forever stand by that.

hurley – hurley has always been one of my favs. we really don’t get to see a whole lot of him in the first season, though we start getting a little more in s2﹘which i enjoy. i love the ‘dave’ episode and i remember being so shocked when you find out that dave wasn’t real. and hurley’s therapy session is just really hard to watch. he’s not in this season too much, so i don’t have a whole lot more to say, but i do think he’s one of the funniest characters in lost. like definitely in my top 3 for funniest characters ( which would be ben, sawyer, and hurley ). they all just crack me up. i know we’re getting to really fun things with hurley, especially considering the tricia tinaka episode in s3 is one of my all time favorites in the show, but i’ll hold off talking about that until i finish s3. but just expect more hurley thoughts next time!

sawyer﹘you know, i’m having a hard time remembering what sawyer actually did this season. i know he was shot, and there was the whole thing with the guns, but he really wasn’t too involved in anything else as far as i remember. that being said, he didn’t change much for me. he’s one of my top three characters and most likely always will be, i just love him so much and i think he’s absolutely hilarious! but, yeah, i don’t have much to say abt him this time around. i think he shines more in other seasons.

rose & bernard – i’m putting these two together because i probably won’t be talking about them again. they have never been insanely important characters to me, but i really do appreciate that the show gives time to them this season – not only with their reunion, but also with the ‘s.o.s.’ episode. they’re a cute couple and i genuinely enjoy their chemistry, and i’m glad we get at least one episode looking into their past.

claire – wasn’t a huge fan this season. i was slightly annoyed at how she made her problems everyone’s problem…i definitely understand with her prior trauma but it’s just like!! the whole camp doesn’t need to be involved! and i would get her being wary around charlie, i mean let’s be real he isn’t the best this season, but to just assume like everyone else that he’s taking drugs rubs me the wrong way. no, they weren’t technically together, but they’d been through so much shit together i felt like there would’ve been something more there. just overall, was not a fan of claire in s2!

kate – i was definitely able to stand her more this season, similar to jack. she has her moments where i like her and i think the thing with the black horse is interesting. honestly, being in the throes of s3, i’m kind of blanking on what she did this season, but all i know is how i felt aaaand … that was me being more tolerating of her! again, kate has never been a fav of mine, but at least i enjoyed her a little more this season.

shannon – yeah, they sure did shannon dirty didn’t they? dying weeks after her brother … phew. that’s rough. i really liked shannon so i was sad to see her go, but also her wanting to kill locke felt a little odd to me. like, you’re telling me this girl wants to kill someone? i’m sorry, but it’s just not connecting!! felt like tension for the sake of tension. i did like her seeing wet walt teleporting around and hated the fact that sayid never took her seriously about it. and being murdered by ana lucia UGH. but yeah shannon was fine this season, didn’t do much for me but also she was hardly around so. yk.

sun & jin – again with putting these two together because i’m too lazy to separate them. i think jin starts becoming much more likable this season and i like seeing him with the other survivors, especially sawyer and michael. sun is fine, i don’t have much to say about her as usual. can’t remember what these two did in s2 either. oh well! they’re simply alright to me.

libby – fuckin died in the worst way possible. literally no one listened to her. it’s heartbreaking!! but i did like her and i thought she and hurley were pretty cute. sucks she had to go but also it makes sense, michael had to kill someone and it wasn’t going to be a person in the main cast so … cue a somewhat background character dying. she didn’t deserve that. but i did find it so sad that she just went down for blankets and happened to stumble upon that scene. kills me!!

honorable mentions:

walt – was hardly around but the short scenes we get of him are fun. i have no idea what was going on with him and the others but it’s a fun plot for him to have been kidnapped. can’t even imagine the confusion of leaving the island and seeing the people he knows tied up and gagged while he and his dad get to leave! crazy.

cindy – the flight attendant. i liked that she was in this season and i enjoy seeing her in the next one. just some fun continuity with a character who doesn’t even matter.

pierre chang / marvin candle – slayed those orientation tapes. i have nothing more to say.

#dr dipshit ( elsie rewatch )#tell me what it is to be the thing rooted in shadow ( s2 )#WOOOOWWWWW IM FINALLY DONE THANK GOD!!!!#this character recap has been haunting me for weeks #literally we are almost done with s3 and i have been struggling on this #and next i have to WRITE this for s3 so wish me luck #i think i’m just gonna keep my ramblings a little shorter so i don’t burn out ranting so fast #but anyway! yes! here are my opinions #enjoy to anyone reading #character recap

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

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I might as well start a TikTok trend Masterlist lmao. But not a request, but I saw this the other day and I was dying imagining how the BSD characters would react lol. Let me know if you guys want another character or fandom (I already know I’m bout to do this with the Obey Me boys 😩) Reader is gender neutral!

CW: suggestive/spicy content but no NSFW. The challenge suggests nudity but you’re not naked (even if your man thinks you are 💀)

The Towel Prank (Tiktok Trend) with: Dazai, Kunikida, and Atsushi

Dazai

So you two were just goofing off getting ready to go to bed. You just “got out of the shower” and was doing stupid stuff with him in the bathroom mirror: making faces, dancing, anything obnoxious that was making you both laugh

He was too distracted by your beauty to really ask why you had your phone out, but thought that you’re just saving this to look back on later as fun memories. He was playing right along with you-

Until you snATCHED YOUR TOWEL OPEN WITH THE PHONE POINTING RIGHT AT YOU-

His face morphed from smiling to in shock so QUICK

Remember how he looked in BSD Wan when Atsushi gave him flowers? That’s what he looked like lmao

“BELLADONNA NO!”

Cue you being bearhugged and almost tackled to the ground, with his back facing your phone

You have never seen him move so fast in your life before

He would have wrapped you in his trench coat if he still had it on

When he expected to feel bare skin, he only felt…material?

And how you’re nearly in tears laughing at him while still being in his arms. He realizes now that you’ve planned this, that he’s been pranked

Now Dazai has never been one to be pranked, let alone tricked like this. He can’t have you one-upping him like this! So if it’s a prank war you want, he’ll be more than happy to oblige. But first-

You’re already getting up and reaching for your phone when he grabbed it before you, oddly quiet. “Oh c’mon Osamu you aren’t really mad at me are you? You gotta admit that it was a little funNY-“

You didn’t realize how severe the consequences of your actions were until you dropped on your shared bed with him towering over you

“You didn’t really think you would tease me like this and get away with it, do you?”

If that devious smirk was anything to go by, you’re gonna be in for a long night

Bonus: he definitely pulls the same prank on you, but instead in front of everyone and blames it on you! :D

You deal with a very angry Kunikida

Kunikida

He was not paying you any attention, instead just writing in his notebook as always, more than likely about work. It was finally time to relax for the both of you, and this is what he wanted to do?

Well that’s about to change

You have something that’ll get his attention no problem

Even when you set your phone up pointing right in his direction, he didn’t stop writing. Yeah that’s about to change real soon

Walking in front of him with nothing but a towel and looking back at him, he just sighed and shook his head, “Listen dear, I told you to give me five more minutes and then I’ll indulge you in whatever you want to do, and you whining isn’t going to change that.” And he still didn’t look up!

Looks like it’s time for drastic measures

“Fine. Looks like I have to give my attention elsewhere then.”

“(Y/N) what are you going on abo-”

It didn’t fully click to him that you’re only in a towel and he had to do a double take when it did. He felt his heart stop when you unraveled it with the camera sitting right there-

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

When I tell you that he launched himself at you

He was latching onto you like a spider monkey with the reddest face, trying to cover your whole body with his while

Idk if you guys remember this show called Hole in the Wall where they had to match the pose or fall in the water? He’s posing like that trying to cover you

Well your plan worked- his notebook was forgotten!

Bad news: he didn’t find it funny when it was revealed you had clothes on underneath. Relieved, but not amused, and his anger was steady rising the more you laughed

Which lead to now: him still latching onto you in bed, not having said a word since. His idea of a punishment (which it really wasn’t to you), hold you until you tire yourself out because he is so terrified that you’ll do something even more drastic if he lets you go

And he was already planning on holding you anyway once he was done writing, but of course your impatience got the best of you

“Oh Doppo-”

“Absolutely not. Since you showed that you can’t be without supervision, this is your punishment. I can’t write in my notebook peacefully, so you can’t go around causing mayhem. And you finally got what you wanted: my attention, correct?”

“Well, yeah but-”

“Alright then. Now go to sleep, you’ve already given me a headache.”

“But I’m not-"

“Goodnight (Y/N).”

He really didn’t let you go for the whole night, but this was fine. You liked being in each other arms any way

Also he watches you like a hawk every time you’re either on the app or using your camera. He does not trust you and that “abomination” together

Atsushi

Poor guy was just minding his business when you decided to do what you always do: cause chaos

You set up your phone and called your loving boyfriend into the room, claiming that you want to show him something exciting. He came in and was already blushing when he saw you in the towel, and his heart rate skyrocketed when he saw your phone recording

You aren’t about to do what he think you are…right? He’s just jumping to conclusions!…right?

“Um…honey, why are you recording- and why don’t you have clothes on yet?”

“Because of THIS-”

You have never heard him scream so loud before, you’re pretty sure he cracked a mirror and all of your windows. But that wasn’t what got you, no-

He ACTIVATED HIS ABILITY

His arms (now as a weretiger) were trying to cover you while also getting you away from your phone. You’re grateful for his quick reflexes but also scared that he’s gonna faint at any second

He scanned over your clothed body to make sure he didn’t scratch you on accident- wait, clothed?! And why are you laughing?!

“What the hell?! That wasn’t funny you know, I thought you were really…”

As cute as Atsushi’s pout is, you didn’t want him to be upset, so you grabbed your phone and stopped the video. He looked more embarrassed than anything, so you had the perfect way to apologize to him

Crawling in his lap and peppering his face with one kiss after the next, you felt his resolve breaking bit by bit. You knew you were forgiven when he tightened his grip around your waist-

“Let me make it up to you At-su-shi~”

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd dazai x reader #dazai x reader #bsd kunikida x reader #Kunikida x reader #bsd atsushi x reader #atsushi nakajima x reader #atsushi x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader

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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 4 years

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Work It Out

Summary: Spencer realizes that he might just have feelings for his neighbor after seeing her in her workout gear.

A/N: I boofed it. Trying to write a blurb and I ended up writing a whole fic. I will never learn.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Implied that reader is athletic but no mention of her body type)

Category: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Warnings/Includes: bad communication, cursing, smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, light spanking, please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 2.7k

Masterlist

Requests Filled:

“blurb idea that’s been living in my head, rent-free: reader is spencer’s neighbor and a dancer, who he has a huge crush on. spencer goes over to her apartment to borrow something and interrupts her daily stretches and spencer gets all flustered because she’s wearing leggings and a sports bra, and she’s so flexible”

“okay so this next thought came to my mind while i was doing some exercise lol: imagine that u started a new routine and you feel super tired at the ten minutes of the video haha, then spencer came back to work and when he see u doing some squats he's so turn on and then he just get close to you from behind and whispers "c'mon bunny, u can't with this, the only thing that u can handle is my cock" and then he just fuck y/n so hard aaaaaaaaa btw i'm the anon who sent that visual the past week of Twitter about the flowery lingerie 😌🙏🏻 —🥀”

“okay so like reader working out in Spencer’s apartment and he’s just watching her and getting all worked up. reader noticed and starts teasing him until he can’t handle it - 🐍”

-- -- --

They’d struck up a friendship almost instantly, from that first day that she moved in. He tried to help her with her boxes but he almost felt like he was holding her back, he got winded just going up and down the stairs on his own, let alone while he carried an entire box he later found out had been full of books. She laughed at him when he placed it down on her kitchen table and read the permanent marker label on the side. He still remembers how light her laugh had made him feel, how perfect it was.

From that first day things were just easy, effortless. He liked that he didn’t have to think around her, about work, about anything, he always felt so comfortable around her. Until that day.

The day that he couldn’t find his dustpan and brush after breaking a glass, so he went next door to see if she had one he could borrow. When he knocked on the door and heard a small ‘it’s open’, he walked in as normal, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the sight.

The furniture in her living room was pushed to the walls as she stretched in the centre of the room. He was sure there must’ve been a name for the pose she was in, but all he could concentrate on in that moment was how her body looked in the spandex of her leggings and sports bra. The smooth way her body contorted into strange shapes, the way her back arched so perfectly, and the way he could make out every curve of her body in a way he’d never really noticed before.

Thankfully she didn’t seem to notice his staring as she concentrated on her movements before finishing up her pose.

“What’s up Spence?” she breathed once she relaxed, turning her eyes to him.

And for a moment he wanted to turn around and run away. He was almost positive that his face was a glowing shade of pink, he could feel the heat as it radiated off of his cheeks while she looked at him expectantly.

“Uh, I um- A glass!” he stuttered out, “I broke a glass” he finally managed but she still just looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

“Okay, we’re really low on news today I see” she laughed, and he sort of wished she hadn’t, because it’s his absolute favorite sound.

“Sorry, I wanted to- I uh- I came over to see if you had a sweeping brush?” the words almost get caught in his throat but he fights to get them out, and he’s more proud than he really should be.

“Oh, under the sink!” she tells him, and he makes quick work of finding it before mumbling his ‘thanks’ and rushing back to the safety of his own apartment.

It’s a day he could never forget, even if his memory was normal. And part of him wished he could forget, because he knows that that’s the day he started treating her differently. It wasn’t easy or simple anymore. It was awkward and strange and he had a huge, stupid crush on her.

-- --

It doesn’t take long for her to notice the little changes in his behavior, the way he avoids her in the halls, or always seems to be inexplicably busy whenever she tries to make plans. And on the odd occasion that they do speak he never seems to be able to hold eye contact. It continues like that for a while until she just can’t take it for another second.

She waits until she knows he’s home, staring out the peephole at the door opposite hers until she sees him open it up and walk inside. She gives him about 5 minutes before she marches over and slams her fist against the door, a lot more urgent than necessary.

When he opens the door he looks tired and deflated, and his tie is undone, hanging around his neck. She can see the fatigue leave his features a second later, only to be replaced by a look of pure shock.

“Y/N?” he asks, like he’s not sure she’s really even there.

“Yeah, can I come in?” she asks, but she’s already maneuvering past him and into his living room like she’d done so many times before he’d gotten strange.

“What are you doing here?” he manages to get out once his shock subsides.

“What’s going on with you Spence? We’re best friends until one day you decide you don’t like me? What’s that about, I just have to pretend like I live next door to a stranger now?”

He looks like a deer caught in headlights. She’s not even sure she can see him breathing as his face begins to flush.

“I’m sorry” he breathes out first, “I wasn’t trying to- okay I was avoiding you, but it’s not because I don’t like you”

“Sure seems like it” she sighs, and for a second he looks heartbroken.

“No!” he blurts out, “It’s not that, I swear” he shakes his head, reaching out to touch her before retracting his grip, thinking the better of it.

“Then what is it Spence?” she looks at him with a softness now, with a pleading behind her eyes, and he can’t hold back anymore.

“It’s because I do like you” he says it like he’s relieved, like it had been gnawing at him, “Because I really like you”

“Like me?” she asks, the realization finally dawning. “As in...”

“As in... romantically?” he can’t look at her when he says it, closing his eyes as if he’s bracing for impact. But the next thing he hears is his favorite sound once again. She laughs at him. It’s not cynical, or rude, it’s the kind that’s filled with joy, and maybe just a little exasperation.

“Well I wish you’d’ve told me that sooner” she says once she’s calmed down, and when he opens his eyes she’s smiling at him, taking a step closer.

“You do?”

“Mmhmm” she nods, “That way, I could’ve let you know all about this crush I’ve been harboring on you for a while now.”

He doesn’t have time to think before she’s got her lips on his, soft and delicate against him. For a minute he can’t really understand what’s happening as her hands reach up to cup his face softly, and they stay there after she pulls back. Her thumbs gently grazing his cheekbones as she admires his shocked expression.

“You’ve had a crush on me?” is the first thing he thinks to say, and she nods, smiling up at him.

“Since that first day when you helped me move in” she admits, and the timeline clicks in his head. She’s wanted this longer than he even had. Something about it puts his mind at ease, the though of being desirable to someone like her just makes him swell with pride in a way he’s not even sure he understands.

“Oh” is all he manages to get out though.

“I know, we gotta work on your self confidence because you, Spencer Reid, are a catch” she smiles at him before diving in for their second kiss.

-- --

It’s probably too crass to say out loud, but his favorite part about moving in together is undoubtedly, her daily exercise routine. Sometimes it’s in the morning, sometimes the afternoon, sometimes the evening. He’s actually starting to suspect that she times it for when she knows he’ll be around to see it.

He waited a little while to confess just know much he thought about her in those leggings. The lilac ones that were still in her rotation. Not that he didn’t find her sexy all of the time, he really did. But there was just something, maybe pavlovian, about seeing her in those lilac leggings. The way they hugged her body, he always found himself staring more than he was proud of.

Whatever routine she’s following this morning has her just a little out of breath. And he pretends to be reading the paper at his desk while she pants less than 10 feet away from him. The sound alone is distracting, but when he glances up and he can see her doing squats, all he can focus on is her ass in those fucking leggings.

“8, 9.... 10″ she breathes out, finishing off with a small groan.

“Too hard?” he chuckles, giving in and laying his paper down.

“No way, I can handle it” she turns around to grin at him before turning back around, starting into another set, counting them out slowly.

He seizes the opportunity and gets up out of his chair, making his way quietly over to her while she concentrates on her form. When he’s finally behind her she’s nearly out of breath again, pushing through the last rep when his hand snakes around her waist and pulls her back against him. He leans in to her ear as he whispers.

“C’mon Bunny, I guess you can handle your squats, but can you handle this” he almost moans it as he presses his already hard cock right up against her ass.

“Fuck” she breathes out in a little gasp, her hands moving up into his hair to pull him closer.

“Do you think you can handle it Bunny?” he groans again, grinding himself against her this time.

“Yes! Yes Spencer please, I can take it” she moans out as his hands begin to roam over her body, gently tracing along the exposed skin between her bra and her leggings, feeling the warmth of it.

“Then be a good Bunny and bend over for me, okay?” he growls against her ear and she moves fast, bending over the back of the sofa, and presenting herself to him. He takes a step back to admire the view for a moment before he’s got his hands on her body again. His fingers go straight to the waistband of the leggings, tugging the smooth fabric down, pulling it until it's gathered around her feet, quickly doing the same with her panties until there was nothing in his way.

“Fuck, you look so good like this” he groans, a soft hand caressing the smooth skin of her ass before rising up and coming back down with a loud slap, followed by a high pitched whine from her.

“Did you like that Bunny?” he asks, gripping a rough handful of her ass as she moans out a meek ‘yes’

So he repeats the action, pulling his hand up only to slam it back down again rough and excited against the now sensitive skin.

“Fuck” she purrs, her legs closing, thighs moving together in an attempt to get some friction. But he puts a stop to that right away, placing one of his feet between hers and kicking them apart so her legs were spread for him.

“If you wanted something Bunny, all you had to do was ask” he teases, moving his hand along the curve of her ass until it was hovering between her legs, where she was desperate and wanting. He purposefully lingers just a moment too long before pushing two fingers inside of her. He’s rewarded with a low moan that pours out of her.

“So wet from just a little spanking, you’re so good for me” he groans, “Do you think you can handle my cock yet sweetheart?”

She can’t help the way she clenches and tightens around his fingers at the very thought. It’s not like they didn’t fill her up, they were so much longer and more agile than her own fingers, but nothing could really compare to his cock.

“Fuck, please” she whimpers, wiggling her hips just a little as though that might help convince him that she deserved it.

“Such a good girl, I think you’ve earned it” as he speaks he pulls his fingers gently out of her, and she forces herself not to while at the loss of contact. He pulls his cock out of his boxers, pumping it himself a few times before he lines up behind her. Though they both love this position, she can’t help but miss watching him. The way his eyes close and and he bites his perfect plump bottom lip. But then he’s easing in and the feeling of him is enough to eclipse every other thought in her head.

“Oh god! Spencer!” she stutters out a moan, her hands flying forward to grab at the cushions on the sofa, digging her fingers into the soft down.

“You feel so good Bunny, always so wet for me” he groans as he pushes the whole way in, burying himself right up to the hilt.

His hands make their home on either side of her hips, his grip is tight as he pulls her back against him at the same time that he pushes his hips forward, slamming in on each thrust with everything he’s got.

Hips hit against her ass each time, rocking right up against the quickly forming handprint there whenever their skin collides. The slight burn only intensifying the already overwhelming pleasure.

“So- ah- I’m so close” she manages to moan out in between all the gasps and pants, and without speaking Spencer reaches down to grab the straps at the back of her sports bra, using the leverage to pull her back up. Meeting her halfway he presses his chest right up against her back, one hand snaking around to loosely grip her throat. The other making its way down between her legs.

“Fuck- Spencer- I-” she gasps at his fingers start to run in small circles around her swollen clit, his hips continuing their motions at the same time. All of it building dangerously fast.

“What’s the matter? Too much for you Bunny?” he teases with a groan, right against her ear.

“No!” she rushes out, one of her hands bracing herself against the back of the sofa, the other draping itself loosely over his hand between her legs, encouraging but not interfering with its movements.

“That’s a good girl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock Bunny?”

She doesn’t have time to answer his question before she’s putty in his hands. Melting into his grip as he continues to move inside of her and against her. The only thing keeping her from falling to the ground is her loose grip on the edge of the sofa and Spencers hand around her neck as she moans out his name.

It’s only a few seconds later that his hips begin to stutter and both of his hands are on her hips again, pulling them tight against his own as he grows closer and closer. And then he’s cumming with a rough groan and a bunch of shallow breaths, filling her up entirely as she begins to slump against the sofa once again.

“Spence, fuck” she says with a deep breath, “That was unbelievable”

They’re both covered in a layer of sweat now, and Spencer can feel the hair that’s probably stuck to his forehead. In his exhausted state all he really wants to do is lay down against her back, gathering their breathing again. But he knows that’s just his cloudy mind talking. So he manages to loosen his grip on her hips and pull out slowly before rushing to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth.

He takes it and gently cleans the mess that he made between her legs before it gets the chance to drip down. Once she’s clean he helps her stand upright once again.

Although he’d come a long way with his self confidence there were still times like this where he let himself feel awkward, or unsure. Especially right after he’d just been so bold. But in times like this she knows exactly what to do. Rising up, she places her hands on either side of his face and kisses him, soft and gentle, just for a moment, before pulling back again to look at him.

“Shower?”

-- -- --

Thank you so much for reading x

-- -- --

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moonlit-imagines · 3 years

Text

Headcanons for being an Avenger with the power of persuasion

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: towards the end this branches off into the fatws timeline but there’s no explicit spoilers

prompt: anonymous: “Can you do hcs for the avengers with a reader who has powers like Allison Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy?”

the avengers were a little iffy about you because......someone with your power was hard to trust at first

“mind control isn’t as fun as it sounds, you guys. i really don’t wanna keep my guard up at all times when i’m at home base” -clint

“yeah, i’m not sure if i trust this one yet. i mean, i’m totally immune to mind control, but what if they mind control someone to come after me? and they have easy access to the place?” -tony

“excuse me, did you just say you were immune to mind control?” -nat

“he most certainly is not” -wanda

i mean, you get it and all. you heard stories of the avengers’ past encounters. it couldve messed them up

and they had no character references for you

you were new and mysterious

and your powers could be dangerous if you used them the wrong way

“well, i say we take a chance on them. they might surprise us” -cap

“i knew you would say some crap like that” -tony

“i thought a surprise was the opposite of what we wanted?” -bruce

you were put on the team soon after, but you had to have a buddy on missions

*pretending that we have deaf/hoh!clint like in the comics* you were buddied up with clint since your powers were auditory

“you can’t sign me an involuntary command, can you?” -clint

“no, sir” -you

“cool, cool, cool” -clint

stealth looked good on you, ngl

you were able to get behind heavy gunmen and whisper commands to them

“simon says you are an avenger now, shoot the enemy” -you

“simon says i am your new boss, take out your ex-coworkers” -you

“simon says give me your keycard” -you

“simon says i’m not the enemy, you are” -you

“not bad down there, y/n!” -sam

“thanks! now can somebody give me a lift to that one all the way up there?” -you

you proved yourself that day, so everyone got a lot more comfortable with you

and you made a promise that day that you’d never use your powers on them

but occasionally someone would ask you a simple favor, like putting them to sleep or making them focus on a project

“i think the focus one could be a fire hazard” -you

“so just come and get me! or let me die, that’d be fine, too” -tony

“whatever...simon says focus on the new tech” -you

time went by and things got tough, especially when the sokovia accords rolled in

“i wasn’t even there for that, mr. secretary” -you

“and i’m aware of that, mx. l/n, but you still pose a threat to people around the world. you have the means to walk into any place you want and do anything you want. you can see how that makes people uneasy, don’t you?” -ross

“i’ve never used my abilities for anything but good” -you

“what y/n is trying to say is—” -steve

“he knows what i’m trying to say, but apparently that’s the issue” -you

you were “grounded” with wanda

and pretty pissed about it

“i can understand why i’m here, y/n, but you? what did you do?” -wanda

“i intimidate men in charge, i guess” -you

sounds about right, huh?

but clint broke you out

“finallyyyyy! vision is such a drag” -you

and when you got to germany, you were conflicted with yourself

should you use your powers on the teammates who wanted you locked away?

if you got into their comms, you could stop it in an instant

but that’d take some time

“hi, simon(e)! i’m, uh, scott! i think you’re pretty neat!” -scott (p.s. y/n’s hero name is simon/simone. whatever you prefer idrc)

“thanks...and what do you do?” -you

“he shrinks!” -sam

you snuck out to the pavement and tried to hack their comms, but could only do it one at a time

so you got the spider kid

“simon says stick the cat man to the side of the plane” -you

but that cat had claws

alright, it might be harder than you think

“oh god, simon(e)?” -scott

“what is it?” -you

“i’m a little nervous for my next trick...would it be too much to ask if you did your little command thing for me?” -scott

“ughhhhh...simon says, go on with your ‘trick’” -you

and all the sudden he shot up into the air

“oh, nice” -you

you really hated fighting with these guys, but you were out of options and now cap wanted you to come with him, he wouldn’t leave without you

“steve, i’m sorry. simon says leave without us” -you

and that he did, which left you to be caught by a hair

“so close, weren’t you?” -tony

“simon says go to hell” -you

“very funny, guess i’m immune to mind control, after all” -tony

having a mouth restraint place on you that tony had been saving ever since you joined the team

one that “team cap” heavily protested the second they saw it

“tony, that’s wrong! don’t you trust them enough not to do that? they’re going to hate you after all of this” -wanda

“it’s either me or them. at least mine is comfortable” -tony

kinda fucked lol but understandable ig

having to testify without a voice, only able to type or write

but eventually you made your case and were able to make a deal, but part of that deal was to keep your mouth sealed when in the presence of authority since your voice was deemed a weapon ;)

kinda a dick move if you ask me

so you said fuck that and became a fugitive with steve + friends

but used your powers less and less

again, only for favors because it was hard to get peace in these crappy motels

“simon says kill that roach, oh god” -you @ steve

“you were an avenger and you can’t kill a roach?” -sam

“don’t start with me, sam, or you’re sleeping on the floor” -you

“you wouldn’t” -sam

“don’t test me” -you

waiting and waiting for some kind of turning point that didnt come until alien invasion 2.0

and you tried so hard to stop thanos from snapping, but the stones got the best of you as you were frozen in time

but fortunately you didn’t dust

leaving you to get a rematch against thanos when the time would come

and reuniting with tony just for him to lecture you with the rest of the team

“go fuck yourself, tony” -you

“oh, thank god they didn’t say ‘simon says’” -that raccoon you’ve known for like 3 weeks

“do you ever shut up?” -you

“no, he does not” -nebula

anyways your time did not come and you waited five years for another chance

and although you did not redeem yourself on your own, you were just glad that your side, humanity, had won

but just before thanos had ceased to exist, you told him

“simon says to feel the pain of loss for all of eternity” -you

it may have been cruel, but it’s what he deserved

the next step was for you and sam to be pardoned of your crimes

but you didn’t exactly part ways just because...what else was there for you to do? the two of you were close after your time on the run

and all was well until he decided to give the shield up

“oh, bucky’s gonna be pissed” -you

“he’ll be fine” -sam

now, bucky had mixed feelings about you

he was nervous about your powers, but you did save him

and he knew what it felt like not to be trusted

so he gave you a chance and partnered with you after the “new captain america” and the “flag smashers” fiasco

legally, if you used your powers on a government official/soldier you’d go back in the slammer, but it was quite tempting, even if it were just a “simon says punch yourself in the face”

and off to madripoor you went with...zemo

“are you going to persuade me into something petty, mx. l/n?” -zemo

“i’ve gotta make it worth it, honestly, but there’s no rule against me doing so, so at least i won’t feel bad” -you

and who knows what’s next?

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effeminateboyninja · 3 years

Note

I had a dream last night that I had an unrequited crush on Shikamaru since forever but he and Temari had started dating.

(In the dream I had me and Shiki we’re walking and joking then Temari came over and then they went for dinner together. As Shikamaru’s friend I was like -arm punch- go on bro, have fun. And they walked away together leaving me feeling heartbroken, inadequate and inferior.)

You can do any scenario you want. I literally have an unrequited love playlist lol 😂❤️

oh anon, i've been there 😭 let us wallow in our unrequited love for Shikamaru together

~ Almost enough ~

(Shikamaru x fem!reader) angst // 1.7k words

Ten years. An entire decade with Shikamaru by your side, getting into the carefree mischief that defined such childhood friendships and growing so close people were surprised to see one of you without the other. More than half of it spent trying to ignore the butterflies and daydreams that would force you to admit you wanted him to be more. In hindsight it seemed inevitable, the way he’d snuck into your heart before you could even notice. With his striking intelligence and those penetrating eyes, the way he so readily discarded his lazy demeanor and replaced it with hardened determination when his friends needed him — how could you not love him?

You accepted it too late though, spent too many months agonizing over how to tell your best friend that you were head over heels for him, and by the time you were finally brave enough to take the plunge and make your confession he had one of his own. That day was cemented in your mind now, a stinging reminder of your own inaction. Against your better judgement you drifted back into the memory...

It was beautiful out, the warm air offset by a gentle breeze that carried the spring blossoms through the wind as he sat across the shogi board from you, his sharp brow furrowed in concentration as he analyzed the pieces to determine his next move. One of the petals caught in his dark hair and your hand moved to brush it away, but before you could he sat back with a sigh, “Do you wanna do something else? I’m not really into the game.”

“Why? Because I’m winning?” you teased.

He rolled his eyes and cracked a small grin. “You’re only winning because I’m not giving it my all,” he objected.

“Sure, sure,” you threw a light punch at his shoulder and you both laughed. He looked so pretty when he laughed. Not the snarky chuckle he used so often in public, but this unapologetically cheerful one accompanied by a toothy smile that was so carefree and genuine it transformed his serious face into something softer, more innocent. The words never seemed easier to say than it that moment, and without your permission they slipped through your lips as the laughter died out.

“I love you.”

He didn’t even skip a beat, returning your confession with an eye roll and a gentle shove. “Shut up dude, I love you too. You’re my best friend, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Your heart sunk a bit at his misinterpretation and you parted your lips to explain that yes, he’s your best friend too but he’s also so much more, but before you could he went on, “Speaking of love, I wanted to ask for some advice... about Temari.”

His eyes darted to his hands and a soft blush crept across his cheeks. You’d have thought he punched you in the stomach, not timidly asked for your help by the way your body tensed at his words. You didn’t know disappointment could feel so tangible until that moment, the way your stomach dropped to your feet and your hands went cold. “Temari?” you questioned, clearing your throat to rid it of the lump that had formed, “you love her?”

He jolted up and the red in his cheeks deepened. “Nono of course not!” he stammered, “I just… I like her a lot and like, you’re a girl right? How do I win her over?”

For the first time in your life you regretted being so close to him. Couldn’t he have gone to literally anyone else for help with this? Why did it have to be you? To him you were the only one he could approach about such an important topic. It wasn’t just because you were a girl that he asked, but because he valued your opinion above anyone else's. It was because even if it wasn’t the way you wanted, he wasn’t lying when he said he loved you too. So you pushed it all aside — all the heartbreak and sadness that threatened to overwhelm you — you buried it deep down inside for the sake of your friend, looking so nervous and vulnerable as he sat in front of you and put on a fake smile as you did your best to be what he needed in that moment.

“Well you’re a catch so it should be easy, but if you really want to impress her you should…”

“Hey! Are you even listening to me?” Shikamaru waved his hand in front of your eyes, pulling you out of your recollection and back to the present where you walked easily beside him through the streets, no real destination in mind.

You blinked a few times to reorient yourself and apologized with what you hoped was a reassuring smile, “Sorry, I’m just a little distracted today.”

He snickered, “Who has their head in the clouds now, huh?”

“You’ve been a bad influence on me,” you retorted with a smirk and he laughed.

“You’re probably right,” he conceded. “Hey, do you remember when we were kids and we would skip class to go cloud watching?”

He wore a thoughtful smile as he posed the question, his eyes lost in a content nostalgia. God, why did he have to look so damn perfect when he smiled?

You cleared your head and scoffed, “Of course. I still get grief from my mother about all the absence notes Iruka sensei sent home.”

He snorted, “You actually gave her those?! I always ripped mine up before she could see them,” his sentence trailed off into a laugh, one of those real ones that you lived for the sound of and you joined him, forgetting momentarily about your unrequited feelings.

But of course the moment ended much too soon. You noticed her at the same time he did, and you were glad the Nara man’s intense gaze was so singularly focused on the blonde woman ahead that he wouldn’t notice the way your face fell as your laughter cut off abruptly. She waved excitedly from her position a few blocks down and rushed towards you guys, her short pigtails bouncing behind her as she ran.

“Hey you guys!” she greeted the two of you excitedly as she arrived, giving Shikamaru a quick peck on the cheek, causing a small wince you hoped went unnoticed. “Ready for our date?”

“Shit! I almost forgot,” he palmed his forehead and turned to you apologetically, “we’re supposed to get dinner tonight, we have a reservation and everything. Sorry to leave you like this but we’ve gotta go.”

“No worries!” you flashed them a bright smile, one that was uncharacteristically wide in an attempt to compensate for your disappointment. “Go on and take your girl out. Have fun.”

You shoved him towards her lightly and Temari smiled, “Yeah! Listen to (y/n), she’s got the right idea.”

He looked at her the way you’d dreamed he would look at you and laced his fingers through hers, moving to lead her away in the direction of the restaurant. He looked over his shoulder and called back, “See ya tomorrow!” They both waved before turning back ahead, swaying gently as they matched each other’s steps.

“See ya…” you whispered to yourself, their shared giggles echoing off the buildings as they turned the corner and disappeared from your sight.

Nowhere else to go and not wanting to return to your empty apartment you turned to continue walking the sandy streets of the village and ponder. After a while you found yourself at a small pond, where you sat at the edge and peered into the calm water that reflected the crescent of the rising moon in it’s glossy reflection.

What was it about her? Why her and not you? Maybe it’s because she’s so beautiful, you thought forlornly as you traced the lines of your own plain features in the watery mirror below. You hit your hand over the surface to disturb the picture of yourself, water splashing back and mixing with tears that had started to fall on your cheeks.

That wasn’t it and you knew it. Shikamaru wasn’t that shallow. If he was this might be easier. He was with her and not you because she was perfect for him. Even you could admit that in spite of your own feelings she was his ideal match. He just lit up around her in a way that he never did when you were together, and as painful as that was there was an unselfish part of you that appreciated her for it.

You’d spent a lot of time trying to hate her. Trying to find a reason, any reason that they shouldn’t be together to justify telling him your truth and ruining it all — but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Underneath the hard exterior she really was kind, extremely so. She was more perceptive about matters of the heart than he was, and you suspected she knew of your true feelings for her boyfriend… but she never once made you feel bad about it or told him. Not that she needed to try to make you feel guilty, the feeling overwhelmed you everytime they were around, and even more so when it was just the two of you.

The small part that was left of you still concerned with self-preservation told you to cut them both off. To just stop answering his calls and disappear from their lives before you could slip up and lean in for the kiss you imagined millions of times. But he was addicting. No one else made you feel so at ease, made you laugh so joyfully except him. So you’d wade through the guilt and the knowledge that you were only hurting yourself just to spend a few minutes with him whenever you could, even if it meant watching him fall in love with someone else. Being his friend was enough. Almost.

#shikamaru nara #shikamaru x reader #shikamaru x y/n #shikamaru angst #shikamaru oneshot #shikamaru fanfiction #shikamaru imagine #nara shikamaru #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #naruto oneshot

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just-pineapple-responses · 4 years

Note

Just curious, how many shower thought (response) blogs are there? I just dived into this side of tumblr (not gonna make any posts its fun to read though) and I'm already losing my mind

Well there is

The. Literal. Sun.

Plasma...

S p a c e

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT

The void. It shall consume ALL.

A typewriter incase anyone wants to write their will before they die

Also some ink, not related to the typewriter

Also some words, I wonder who'll use them

A hat with no maker and a maker with no hat

The pen is mightier than the sword. It just so happens that this one is evil. Luckily I can summon multiple

Anyone order some coffee?

Ooo, an author

The literal embodiment if of fanart

A fork, nom noms

B҉ r҉ o҉ k҉ e҉ n҉

Soap

Soap(for hair)

Toothpaste

🄵🄰🅄🄲🄴🅃

Towel

Bath mat

Washcloth

Bathtub

Bathwater

𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕞𝕓

Bubblebath!

One (1) bath boi

Some M͓̽o͓̽l͓̽d͓̽ (anybody got some strong disinfectant?)

Nvm, the mold has already caused a plague (gettit?) (although user misspelled it)

Nevermind, there's already a parasite here

Mirror

Door!!!

Some curtains

A denim jacket

Blackout

Rainbow

✨ Magic ✨

*Tree poses to assert dominance*

Coconut

(obviously me)

I think popeye dropped a tin of spinch and it became sentient?

Tost

Hummus. dip tost?

Criss Cross applesauce

Wibbly wobbly Wibbly wobbly jellyo

Mmmm océan s o u p

Some poison, a great addition for my soup

Smol bean

Potat

Shower magpie who I haven't seen in a while

Bird (brain)

Frog(×2:Electric Boogaloo)

An axolotl!

Ferret

*looks at smudged writing on hand. Squints. * a raccoon

Stinky bastard man (I just had to put the two next to each other)

Rat.

Becometh crab 🦀 (x2: Electric Boogaloo)

Nya~

Edgy Nya~

Tripod of dog

Brain

Nina i found one of your neurons (if you understand this reference, good job you)

A rotted brain, keep it away before it infects us all, I only have 2 braincells left

Did... Did someone drop their spinal cord?

The almighty binch

The titanic

Narrator

Water based introspection

Existential crisis

Dumbass

Also a pacifier (get it because they're also called dummies and their name is dummy)

A foolish thought to say a sorry sight join the shower community (as you can tell we did Shakespeare in English so many times i pretty much can recite everything lady macbeth said)

ADHD

Ominous

Anonymous

Anxious 🥺👉👈

Some edgy bastard

A person of culture I see (although obsessed with tweed for some reason)

1 Dapper boi

Sarcastic

nice

All smiles and sunshine

HAPPY! (why isn't there yellow 😔)

Affection (Derogatory) (I'm sorry I just felt like it)

~Petty~

Idiot

Disaster

Chaos and Order

Comebacks

'vanishing'

Defences

Threatened

Op is on drugs

All the F s

And F-general

Get out of the shower

Shower responses

Dry

The horny and the simp

Shower sins

Thower shoughts

I take quick showers

Shower thots

Last responder *countdown music*

You have shower thoughts?

Your shower thoughts are stupid

Wtf shower thoughts

Another shower responder

Just shower responses... responses

Response shower

NO SHOWER! only thought (×3)

Mmm, showery

Penny for your thoughts?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Llawyer

Beepbeep

Prussia

Haywire!!!

furry OwO

A Pigeon got in through the door, who left it open?

I'm feeling devious

You're looking glamorous, let's get mischievous, and polyamorous

Gay is stored in the ass

Gay

Trans

*opens door and walks through with you exaggeratedly* Fellas we got the whole LGBTQIA+ community right here

Enby

Hahaha gender go brrr

Lesbian

Lesbian-thot

Lust

Someone who thinks it funny to clown around

Joker (derogatory)

Haha straight

Dead inside

Some supervillain idk

News. Literally a shower news style responses

I cannot believe that I forgot Her Greatest Majesty, the Queen. All Hail Royal

Isaac newton?

M megamind?

Fiftieth

Crackhead

Some Phoenix Wright kinnie

What is a Dean Winchester and why does he have a tentacle fetish?

Well well well, if it ain't a homestuckian

Did someone kill/rob The Doctor or something, their TARDIS was left behind and its blocking my pretzels that I left in the shower

Mined crafts uwu

Well well well, if it ain't- *accidentally makes eye contact and is then killed by some unknown shadowy creature holding what seems to be some sort of cube of dirt*

GOTTA GO FAST

Mishamishamishamishamishamishamisha

Gen Z and ready to throw hands with OP

Not puki

Nom noms

Dip dap

Kensa

B͓̽u͓̽n͓̽g͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ..........

Someone broke their space bar or something

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-dshower

The magical deity of sleepovers

DON'T FALL ASLEEP. NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU-

The muffin man genuinely left drury Lane for this

Txmblr

Moonlit nights on a winters day, stars glimmering gently

A child?

🟥

The fae. Just all of them. Every single one.

Crocus? (What on earth does that mean)

*sings* baba blacksheep have you any wool? Because if not you will be killed (this fits the tune perfectly. If not I have failed in everything)

The theatre itself is here... Somehow

Ahoy-hoy

boo

REEEE- *epic geometry dash gameplay to DanTDM's old intro music*

Yardale, not to be mistaken for riverdale and differs to lawn ale or front porch ale or even meter ale

I'll finish this list later

It's gonna be a long one folks

I'm including a ones that haven't spoken since ages ago because

Boy howdy there's new ones tell me who I'm missing now

Please stop thank you very much this is too many i keep having to add to this any new responder must kill a responder to continue the purge shall claim y'all as I will win i recently started watching Danganronpa

Seriously though everyone after mirror must have a battle royale it's too much i doubt all of you will even last longer than today also happy birthday me -dated:28th- do you even realise what sort of commitment you've made to sell pieces of your soul for entertainment and ability to make such epic retorts each and every post?! I sacrifice many souls DAILY to be throwing such bangers into this stuff y'know?

We have a tap guys we can finally wash our hands of all the blood of our enemies

Seriously though who left the door open I don't want a Pigeon pecking at me (the mishapocalypse got them lol)

So many responders so little time before the end of the world

If I'm missing someone please tell me very thank

There are not enough colours for me to assign a different one to each person 😔 also, wtf is on there twice on purpose

WorldHealthOrganisation IS MISSING (note: you may have a joke in place of name or under a category of names)

So there's lore without me?

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT *moth noises*

Okay now there's alternate timeline versions of responders for the benefit of myself they ain't going on the list bud

There is an incorrect role play blog quotes blog and I am crying. Not of laughter. Just wiuwhdhsjhshjxjabjsjdhdjsj

If any new people join I will go back to causing shower wars for the sake of killing you all I'm done I have snapped my laptop is updating 3 times in a row

I will commit crimes.

Does being a shower responder or role-playing seem encouraging to people to join this "community"? Because I'm pretty sure it's the latter

#ShowerThoughts blogs #Asks #As you can see I'm trying to organise in order of inanimate to animal to concepts to water else #*whatever else #And now rp blogs wow

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #hadou nejire #toogata mirio #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years

Text

S3 ep5

Current emotional status: FEAR

Cthulu Max has been on the rampage for a whole week!?

Ew, the narrator

Oh man, are they sending the airforce after him?

I really like Cthulu Max's design

Momma Bosco 💗

Oh hey, Norrington and Papierwaite are alive.

Superball are you saying you tried to send the Maimtrons up Max's--

Also he's acting president while Max is... deposed of.

Superball is only giving Sam until 6am :(

Featherly!

"Wandering around the moleman tunnels is no fun without Max."

"You got it all wrong, we're trying to help Max." "We will help him... to a generous serving of ass whooping."

"That is one rabbit who will be multiplied... into 2,000 smoldering pieces."

Carol ran off with Blustet

"I only want her to be happy, is all." Aw, Curt

Superball just admitted to having separation anxiety from Max

Ok Momma can't come but Papierwaite and Norringron can.

I like Norrington :)

GASP

Is it?

It is!

SYBIL!!!!

RETURN OF THE QUEEN

Oh, she is very pregnant

She was a wizard at one point?

She's gonna help!

Superball there's no such thing as acceptable losses

Abe has his body back

"Four score and seven tons of raw power"

HE CAN FLY NOW!?

Sybil, I love you, but why did you mod someone else's car???

Grandpa Stinky I love you

Oh, he just handed us the recipe for once.

Asdfff the spore maxes swarming Grandpa

They stole Grandpa's hotdogs

"We must feed the host! Piglets and sphinkters make us stronger!" "We regret nothing!"

Grandpa hasn't slept in three years

Sam just casually taking the last of Grandpa's corndogs

The spores are trying to get it

Lol Sam slapped them

Sal's alive!

He's hiding from Sam :(

Lol we can control Cthulu Max with Corndogs

Ew, the cornstarch got mixed in with the giant puddle 🤢 Looks gross

Love how Sybil completely ignores the Flaming Max head

Also the look of disappointment on the spore's face made me laugh

Fifth trimester???

The way the one Max spore by Grandpa's truck is bobbing in circles with his mouth open is making me laugh.

Sam showing concern for Sybil because she’s preggers 🥺

Her being pregnant with Abe's child implies that statues have working genital in this universe

She put a weiner scented airfreshener in the desoto

At least Sam and a Max spore seem to like that (of course they do)

"Sybil you're the best!" Hell yeah she is!

Sam's mind went to the color bar codes to prevent being traumatized by Sybil's oversharing

We drowned the desoto

Asdfgh Sam just botched slapped one of the spores for trying to say "that's none of your damn buisness."

Ew, Max's spine is pointing out

Oh hey, Satan and Jurgen

Why is Jurgen wearing his old fashioned clothes instead of his emo clothes?

Lol Sam snuck into frame to shout "Go Mets! New York rules!"

"--besides it's just a good and noble thing to do." "You're not familiar with my previous work, are you?"

"Sam, what happened to you to make you so cynical?" Gee, Jurgen, I wonder what could have possibly happened.

Oh so the water tower counts as vegetable oil because Momma did something to it

Pfft we can replace Satan's microphone with a corndog

Omg they jumped off the building to avoid Max

Oh, they're fine, and the oil is in the giant puddle.

I'm thankful to Featherly for giving us an egg but I'd have preferred not to watch him lay it. Granted it was just in a cartoon way but he still made weird noises

Also TRANS FEATHERLY 2021

"I desperately wanted to see that, sir. Ask him if he'll lay another one."

Oh hey, the Flaming Max heads helped heat up the giant desoto corndog

Since I'm playing this in 2021 the Maimtron's song references are super dated, which defeats Superball's efforts

Oooh! A unique opening sequence???

Oh this music is jazzy af

Sam really doesn't like the Max spores

Sam how do you already know what Max's insides look like???

"Even when he's not a collasal monster Max's food comas can last for weeks."

Ok we wake Max up with the coffee beans, right?

Yup!

The gi Max spore is so sad he doesn't get to come 😢

"But I'm a horrible monster!"

"I suppose Max's brain always looks like a living room?" "Well, Max is host to all kinds of weird parasites, and he likes to he a good host!" WHAT

No really, this brings up so many questions about lagomorphs. Are they some kind of Symbiote or something?

And a previous episode confirmed Max is amphibious

Max has tumors!!!

It shocked Sam!

"Eugh! Get away fake Max!" "Do you find my warmth... alarming, Sam?"

"What do nightmares taste like, anyway?" "Pepsi"

Max wants to be author 💗

He also writes fanfiction about Flint 🤣

I'd unironically read his books.

Tina Belcher voice: Friend fiction

Max has an experimental fusion jazz band???

"He just killed a great white shark--"

Max being completely unable to describe a woman is very gay of him. Good for him.

Max's brain teleported everyone to different parts of the body.

Found Sybil in the gym/legs

The brain is broadcasting Sam's thoughts???

Sam couldn't think of a joke for the medicine balls :(

"Wow Max is looking pretty buff. Would it be too weird if I asked him to turn around?"

Sam! Stop thinking bad things about Sybil's pregnancy she can hear you you putz!

She's upset with him now

"Can you believe this guy?" "I find the entire situation to be very contrived and misogynistic." Same spore Max, same.

Sam stop being so mean omg!

"I changed Sybil, I totally get the whole parenthood thing now." "Really now?" "Tax deductions."

In Max's inventory now

Y'know, I never really thought about it as a storage house

Hit The Road reference :3

Baby roach hatched in

"Pa..papa?" "Now I am little champion, now I am!"

Max has a Maximus shrine

Sam turned into a roomba!

Aw, he named it Sam Jr 🥺

We won Sybil back through his love of Sam Jr

Found the conjoined twins

Huh, Max lost as eye. Does that mean he has a glass one, or do lagomorphs have regenerative abilities?

Pfft we have to play twister to control his arma

The brain is messing with things again

Oh, we need a roach to operate the game because of radiation

Well, let's kidnap Sal

Oh, poor Girl Stinky. She's really going through it

Aw, Sal feels bad

Sal?

Honey, are alright?

He's dying???

He's not immune to irradiation!?

Oh no, he's gone

I'm so sad 😞

Gotta pick up Sam Jr. Before I control Max

They mad Max do a magical girl pose

Ugh the narrator is back

Wait, what?

He's Max's brain??? SUPEREGO???

WHAT

"I was always ignored" Yo if my super ego was as pretentious as you I 'd ignore it too 😤

He wants to kill himself and Max???

I know Max had a self loathing complex but holy shit

The super ego is perfectly fine with destroying half the east coast what a jerk

Just noticed Sam's tie is red. Had no idea about this while drawing PI!Sam lol

We have to help Max get his memories back to use the ASTRO projector

Skunkapes has three Sam clones imprisoned

Sam had canon ocd?

Gasp Gordon???

No, it's Sammun Mak

I love him, little child tyrant

Just make him a mobile brain in a jar and let Sam and Max adopt him

Why is Grandpa here?

He isn't talking like Stinky

Too polite

Sam sees it too

He's a space gorilla

They switched brains?

Found the cloning g chamber

Let's go to Momma's first

CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME

Superball is "wracked with guilt"

"Keep it together Superball. Sam will be able to save the day. He always does."

Ok, let's go to the cloning facility

I'm still thinking about poor Sal yo

FLIIIIIINT!

He's punching space apes!

Girl Stinky really playing up the evil Mistress role

The doggleganger has a bomb on him!!!

Wait so Girl really is a mermaid??? I thought that was just her aestetic

God I love Flint

Haha we tricked Skunkape with scooby doo villain tactics

Got the robot

Her water broke... and it was pennies

Max wants to save Sybil! 😭🥺💕

Super Ego is here

Oh now he wants to save Max

The only thing here are those records

Super Ego waved goodbye

Cthulu Max is cute when he cries

Wait What?

His head is on fire!

The maimtron hit him!

He waved goodbye... and teleported away.

He exploaded!!!!

He promised he'd take Sam with him and he didn't!!!!

AAAAAAH

I thought the dead Max thing was popular angst fanon fic thingy!

We're cloning Max?

It didn't work 😭😭😭😭😭

Superball ran off crying

Oh God the credits are just Sam walking sadly what the hell

He's not even stopping to fight any crime 😢

💔💔💔

God the way he's clinging to himself

What?

The elevator???

MAAAAX

he's back???

Past Max???

He blew his Sam up???

Wait hold on I'm glad they're together again but this doesn't fix anything

There's so much trauma from this season

All the horrible things that happened during 301-304 happened in like 3 days tops, then Sam had to deal with Max being a monster for a week before watching him die!

And the new (?) Max had BLOW HIS SAM UP!!!

And they left the franchise like that for a decade????

What the hell?

I want to be happy but this shit is going to consume my brain for the next week at least what the hell

Aaaaaaah!

Like maybe they really do just brush it off but it feels unlikely

I know Max has a connection with his other selves so it'll be easier for him to adjust but certainly Sam is going to notice the discrepancies since he doesn't get the same deal

Someone told me there were multiple endings hold on

Aw, they walked off into the sunrise together

But still

AAAAAAAAH

#sam and max #freelance husbands #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #sam & max freelance police #freelance police #lee plays sam and max #305 #what the hell #flint paper #agent superball #momma bosco #sybil pandemik #sal s&m #general skun ka'pe #girl stinky #sammun mak #don't @ me I'm crying

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE BLOOD Vol.5: Mukami Yuma [Track 7+8]

Original title: 羞恥心を溶かすために & 病み付きにさせる味

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 5: Mukami Yuma [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: Not much to say about these two tracks since it mostly focuses on Yuma sucking the MC’s blood and slowly losing himself because of the sweetness. Sometimes these CDs really do make me wonder what blood tastes like to a Vampire, lol. It’s probably just the MC’s blood being extra special, but they really do make it sound like it’s the most delicious treat in the world.

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 7: To Melt Away the Shame

*Rustle rustle*

“...Oi, lift yer face.”

You look up at him.

“Haah...What a pathetic expression. ...However, it’s much better than that straight face from earlier. I like it. ...Here.”

*Cling*

“Imma put away the knife so scoot closer.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Ah-aah...All it took to make ya obey was to threaten ya a lil’? How borin’...”

*Rustle*

[00:40] “Look at ya clingin’ on a guy you’ve only just met...Aah...I wonder how many dudes have seen this side of ya up ‘till now. Don’t ya have any sense of shame or decency?”

You protest.

“Woah there. Whatcha glarin’ at me for? You’ve already become my Sow. Ya acknowledged it yerself, didn’t ya?”

*Sluuuuurp*

[01:22] “Ya know...Didn’t ya do it ‘cause ya wanted me to do this, rather than simply wantin’ to save yer limbs from gettin’ cut off?”

Yuma takes in your scent.

“Ya just love pleasure, don’t ya? I mean...So do I, of course.”

He bites you again.

*Sluuuuurp*

“Hahn...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah...Delicious...Haah...More...Gimme more...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Mmh...Nn...”

*Sluuuuurp*

[02:09] “Why is yer blood...so damn sweet...? It’s as if someone melted sugar into it... Aah...Sweets are my weakness...I thought nothin’ could ever beat pure sugar, but...”

*Rustle*

“Sugar is no match for yer blood...”

*Sluuuuurp*

[02:42] “Haah...The fuck’s the secret behind this...!? ...Aah...I feel as if something’s spreadin’ through my entire body...startin’ from my throat...Ya know...When givin’ water to vegetables...the water seeps into the soil, no? It reminds me of that...”

*Rustle*

[03:15] “How do ya feel? Huh? Tell me...Just look at that look on yer face...I bet it feels mind-blowin’...How does it feel? Come on, enlighten me. If you’re honest with me, I’ll give ya even more pleasure.”

*Rustle*

“So? ...Come on...Tell me...How it makes ya feel...”

You whimper softly.

“...Oi! Are ya even listenin’...? Don’t space out...”

You try to hide your face in embarrassment.

[03:59] “Aah? You’re still embarrassed? Just get rid of yer shame already. ...Or do I have to lend a lil’ helpin’ hand again, huh? By showin’ ya that there’s absolutely no point in bein’ embarrassed, until yer shame melts away. Hehehe...I don’t like doin’ that sorta stuff all that much but if you’re that stubborn, then fine. It’s a pain but I’ll do it.”

TRACK 8: An Addictive Taste

“Now where to start...? Should I strip ya naked as ya sit on top of my lap while strikin’ a lewd pose? ー No. Just takin’ off yer clothes would borin’...I’ll tear them apart bit by bit...That would be much more thrillin’, no? ...Just like this...”

*RIIIIIP*

*Rustle rustle*

“Woah there, no fightin’ back, ‘kay? Come on, take a look...”

*RIIIIP*

“There we go. This should do.”

You shriek.

[00:55] “There’s a hole ‘round yer chest. Hmー This is what you’d call a sexy school uniform, I guess? Hehe...A nice sight. Yer looks don’t interest me in the slightest, but seein’ ya with yer face flushed bright red isn’t all too bad.”

*Rustle*

“Well then...Where next? I bet ya secretly love to have yer clothes ripped apart like this. Hehehe...I don’t mind either way. If I get thirsty again, I can just suck yer blood. But ya know...Gotta make the best of the situation and enjoy it?”

*Rustle*

“Isn’t that true...? If ya like this sort of stuff, why try and deny it? ...Come on, what’s yer answer?”

You chew on your bottom lip.

[02:07] “I bet just havin’ yer blood sucked left and right isn’t enough to satisfy ya, is it? Hehe...Then why are ya endurin’ it? Ah? Is it ‘cause you’re scared of me? Nah, that’s not it. ...You’re lyin’ to yourself.”

Your eyes widen in horror as you try and defend yourself.

“...Tsk. Ya talk way too much...I’ve gotten thirsty again...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah...I’m craving your sweet and sticky blood again...”

*Rustle*

[03:01] “I’m honest with myself after all. Hehe...”

*Rustle*

“I’ll suck from yer finger next. Come on, extend it. Thrust yer finger inside my mouth.”

You hesitate.

“Hurry up. ...Come on, or else, I’m gonna chomp yer whole hand off.”

You put your finger in his mouth.

*Rustle*

[03:35] “Exactly...Just like that...Push it a lil’ deeper...I’m gonna...devour ya...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Nnh...Mm...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“...Hehe...Haah...I can see yer bright red face perfectly from here...”

*Rustle*

[04:15] “I bet you’re feelin’ great as well? As if you’ve ascended to Heaven...In that case...We both feel the same...Just what is goin’ on with yer blood...for both parties to feel this good...? Oi...Gimme more...”

*Rustle*

“Hahn...Just the finger won’t cut it...The wrist, maybe? I can hear yer heart thumpin’...It’s obvious you’re seekin’ me out...”

Yuma bites your wrist.

“Hnnーー!!”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Hahn...Nn...Amazin’...Your blood really is...How to put it...Hahn...”

*Sluuuuurp*

[05:29] “Haah...Why is it...so addictin’...? At this rate...I might just suck yer blood from head to toe...Until I drown in it and lose my mind...Or somethin’ like that? Hehe...Aahー How do ya feel to have someone crave ya this badly? ...Did those other guys indulge in ya like this as well?”

You writhe around.

[06:00] “Hehe...Look at ya twistin’ and turnin’ ‘round...It’s obvious you’re feelin’ good...Now stop pretendin’ like ya don’t want...And entice me...”

*Rustle*

“More and more...Hm?”

*Rustle*

[06:24] “I’ll lend ya my body? Hehehe...Aah...There’s delicious blood flowin’ through this wrist as well.”

Yuma bites your other wrist.

*Sluuuuurp*

“Hahn...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Aah...Haah...”

*Sluuuuurp*

[06:51] “...Just throw out all reason. Once you’ve degraded yerself to bein’ nothin’ but a filthy Sow...They might just lose interest in ya for real. Aah...I can’t...I can’t think logically anymore...At this rate I might just...Haha...Kill ya for real...But I still want yer blood...Your blood belongs to me...”

*Rustle*

“I don’t want to share a single drop with anyone else...Haah, haah...”

*Sluuuuurp*

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #diabolik lovers more blood #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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gondowan · 4 years

Text

Over Your Shoulder

Pairing: Paz Viszla x f!Reader

You're used to working for others. As a freelance armstech, you flit from contract to contract, never staying too long in one place. Although the freelancer life is fun, you kind of wish you could trade it all for a little bit of stability. As the maker would have it, that stability shows up in the form of one (1) Paz Viszla.

Tags/Warnings: nothing right now, but future loving degradation, Good Communication Is My Kink, daddy kink, and other sexy consensual shenangians. Reader has slight self esteem issues.

Notes: I haven’t written for fun in forever, but new year new me! If you know me in real life never bring this up because I will combust lol. I was going to fire off a brief smutty one-shot pwp thing but of course I couldn’t resist adding ~ b a c k s t o r y ~ so here you go. Subsequent updates will probably just be pwp.

Chapter 1: All The Grass is Greener Everywhere You Look

Nervousness, you assumed, was a regular feeling for anyone who was newly married. Doubly so for the new spouse of a Mandalorian. Unlike the rest of the galaxy where marriage vows were somewhat loose, Mandalorians took their vows very seriously. Forever, generally meant, forever.

Your relationship with Paz Viszla was strange in and of itself. As a freelance armstech, you hopped from planet to planet offering your repair services, never staying in any one place for too long. While on Bothawui, you had let slip to a client that you were headed to Nevarro next. Greef Karga, the head of the Guild, had put you on a retainer for services to guild members for a few cycles. The pay was good, and he had promised you a steady supply of commissions from the local bounty hunters who frequented Nevarro in need of new weapons and repairs on top of the already nice stipend.

The Bothan, a short humanoid by the name of Eesk, perked up when you mentioned Nevarro, and the next day he came over as you were on your way to the spaceport.

“Can I ask a favor? Do you mind making a delivery for me while on Nevarro?” he asked, pulling a datapad out from his robes.

You looked up, eyes narrowing. Bothans were famous for their information network, and were instrumental to the destruction of the first Death Star, but still, you were understandably nervous. “ Eesk, I’m not interested in looking for trouble. I don’t need the New Republic or any Imp remnant breathing down my neck for delivering that for you,” you said.

Eesk laughed, “Relax, I promise you this isn’t serious. Just deliver this to a Mandalorian on Nevarro. It’s nothing classified, I’m just returning a favor for a friend,”. He slid over a stack of credits. “I’d take it to him myself, but unfortunately I’m held up on New Republic business”.

You reached over and tucked the datapad into your bag along with the credits, “Fine, but you owe me”.

“Next time you’re here, drinks on me.” he said as he walked away.

It was only until you had boarded the transport ship that you realized Eesk had never actually told you were to meet this Mandalorian. ‘Oh well,’ you thought, ‘he’s not getting these credits back’. You leaned your head against the wall of the ship, tired from hauling all of your luggage to the spaceport, and fell asleep.

You were three standard weeks into your contract with Greef Karga and the Guild, and still no Mandalorian had shown up to collect the datapad. It was nice to be somewhat settled in one place for longer than a week, and you had enjoyed the steady stream of work. You had also learned from Karga that the Mandalorian covert scattered from Nevarro, and he hadn’t seen one in a while. For all of their information trafficking and spy network, perhaps Eesk had gotten it wrong for once, and you didn’t really care to ask. After all, it would be nigh impossible to miss a person wearing head to toe armor, especially on Nevarro.

One morning, as you had returned from your walk to the lava plains, you discovered the door to your apartment was unlocked. Strange. Not a good sign. None of your alarms were triggered either. Carefully, you pulled your blaster out its holster before quietly pushing the door open.

“There you are. Been looking all over for you.”

A large man, clad in blue armor and covered in more weapons per square inch that any other being you had ever seen, sat next to your workstation. Despite the blaster pointed at him, he seemed unperturbed, posture open and relaxed.

“What do you want?” you asked, blaster raised, "You picked the wrong house to rob,". You had fended off your fair share of robberies, the expensive equipment you lugged around as an armstech was attractive to petty thieves, and not cheap.

“The datapad.” he said.

“I take it you’re the Mandalorian that Eesk spoke about.”

“Correct,”.

You rummage through your toolkit and dust off the datapad. “Here you go Mr. Mandalorian, although I suggest next time you knock during business hours. Breaking and entering is reserved for long term partners, and you haven’t even bought me a drink yet”. You wince a little inwardly, maybe this dry spell was affecting you more than you thought.

You tap the edge of the datapad on the Mandalorian’s chest plate. “Oh and you might want to get the blaster strapped to your thigh checked, those scorch marks are usually a bad sign,”.

The blue hunk of armor stood up and took the datapad from you. “Thank you for this,” he rumbled before heading out the door.

“Ah, so you do have manners,” you teased before moving to shut the door.

You can’t see the expression on his face, but you hear the huff of a laugh through his modulator accompanied with a shake of his shoulders.

You were pretty sure you’d never see him again.

Wrong.

The next day right as you returned from dropping off a box of repaired pistols, there he was again, blue armor and blank expressionless helmet, sitting in the same spot next to your workstation.

“Can you fix it?” he asked.

You gaped at him for a second, before remembering the comment you made yesterday. “I can take a look,”. You cross over to your workstation, turning on the light and the magnifying glass and grabbing your toolkit. It was an easy but time-consuming fix, and you quickly busied yourself with disassembling the rifle.

“You’re not from Nevarro,”. A question, posed as a statement.

You didn’t look up, “Nope, I’m just passing through.” Hmm, that power cell did not look too good.

“Where is home for you?”

“Nowhere,” you said matter-of-factly as you tinkered away, “Like most people, the Clone Wars and the Empire destroyed what little of a childhood I had. Got taken in by a kind armstech who taught me the trade, and now I hop from planet to planet making a living. What about you? I heard about what happened to the Mandalorians on this planet,”.

“Also nowhere,” the man grunted, and he remained quiet. You finished your work, and handed him the blaster, butt end first.

“You owe me two drinks now, breaking into my place like that.”

He took the blaster from you, two gloved finger tips drawing a line from the middle of your forearm down your wrist. An unnecessary movement, he could’ve just taken the blaster. You gulped. He put the gun back in its holster and leaned forward.

“I might, if you ask nicely. I saw the way you sized me up the first time,”.

You swallowed, mouth going dry. “It’s uh, part of my line of work. Gotta make sure everyone’s packing-- I mean, everyone’s weapons are in tip top shape.” Your stupid lizard brain, at it again.

He cocked his head to the side, “I’m sure it is,” the mirth evident in his tone.

Every evening thereafter, the blue Mandalorian showed up at your doorstep, a new weapon in hand for you to look at. It was nice, you had to admit to yourself. A consistency in your otherwise inconsistent life, and you grew to enjoy his company. What you couldn’t handle however, was the escalating tension between the two of you. He would occasionally stand behind you, his big, all-encompassing frame brushing up against your back, and lean over you to ask about this or that. The first time you thought it was an accident, but then he followed up with an oh-so-casual touch of your wrist, and you were pretty sure it was on purpose, but you also couldn’t tell if that was wishful thinking on your part. Occasionally the two of you would strike up a conversation, but for the most part he sat in a comfortable silence while you worked. When he came over the fourth night, large gattling gun in tow, you decided it was high time to try to get to know him better.

“Uh...would you like to stay for dinner?”, eyes looking down on the (ancient) gattling gun, trying to keep your voice light.

He paused and shook his head “I can’t,”.

Oh, an immediate shut down. Great. Well it was worth a shot.

“Not for the reason you think. I can’t remove my helmet in the presence of others, that’s part of the creed,”.

That made a lot of sense. You hadn’t come across many Mandalorians in your travels, but all of them were rather cagey about their armor and helmet. You had assumed it was due to the value of beskar, but this was the first time you had heard about this creed.

You looked up at him. “Don’t you ever get lonely?” you blurted out, the words forming on your tongue before your brain could shut you down. “Nevermind-- I’m sorry I-”

He interjected, “Sometimes. There are some exceptions though,”.

You leaned forward. “Such as?”.

A pause. He stepped forward, tipping your chin up with a finger.

“ Would you care to find out?”

Ch 2 here

#paz viszla #paz vizla x reader #paz viszla x reader #2021 new year new me #and by new year new me i mean i will write the kinky caretaking fic i want #the mandalorian #mono writes #THE LAST TIME I WROTE IT WAS FOR MASS EFFECT LMAO #this is way too much buildup #but whatever!!!!!#over your shoulder fic

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

Text

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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8unnieswrld · 4 years

Text

5 more minutes (Johnny Suh x Reader)

Word count: 1.8k

Requests: “Kiss me again” + “lol why u so short?”

Warnings: none shit is so cute

A/N: im literally so stupid i posted this but messed up in structure so i deleted it and took a week to redo it

You could feel a soft vibration coming from under your back as it shocks you from your sleep. The noise causes your heart to race as you roll over to reach for your phone. You couldn't even possibly begin to think who would be calling you, first thing in the morning. Nevertheless, silently cursing at them while thrashing your legs about angrily.

“Hello?” You grumble, head thumping as you roll over, placing your phone to your ear as you close your eyes once again.

“Y/N where are you? It's been 30 minutes and I-” You heard your boyfriend speak from the other side of the line, the background buzzing with chatter and laughter. Going silent you realise what Johnny was talking about.

You almost screamed at yourself when your eyes shot open, checking the time on your phone. You felt like you could just about kick yourself in the face right now as the large numbers stare you in the face.

11:30am

The ‘punch in the gut’ numbers haunt you as you roll out of bed running towards the bathroom, as best you could.

“Ha ha ha ha ha, the bus was late! Just uh- Let everyone eat first!” You laugh awkwardly. Tumbling into the bathroom, you flinch as the cold tiles touch your warm feet.

“You just woke up, didn't you?” Johnny sighs, chuckling a bit.

“I'm sorry! I set my alarm for 9:30 p.m. instead of a.m.! Tell the boys to start eating and i'll just order later!” You apologize while turning the faucet on the highest setting due to sheer panic, the abrupt action causing water to splash onto your phone, muffling Johnny’s laughter.

“It’s okay, I could have come and picked you up if you weren't so stubborn. I’ll come pick-” Johnny suggested before you cut him off, yelling.

“No! Babe, please eat first!”

You hear Johnny excuse himself from his bandmates at the table, explaining to them why he was leaving momentarily, causing them to all laugh and coo at you through the phone.

“I'll see you in a bit babe~” Johnny sings, before making kissy noises to the phone and hanging up.

Fuck.

You could not even believe the sheer idiocracy that you felt wrapping around your body as you stared into the mirror, a reflection haunting you.

“You’re so fucking stupid Y/N, you know?” You groan, smacking yourself on the head before violently turning on the faucet, yet again. Brushing your teeth and washing your face felt like a blip as you were running out of the bathroom, immediately towards your ‘I like to keep them in view because they’re pretty’ clothes rack to look for an outfit. Instinctively, you pause for a second to play music before picking your outfit. One that’s comfy enough to wear for a brunch but not too restraining on the stomach. As you were changing in your room you hear Johnny’s car pull up from outside, honking as if he wanted you to be dressed and ready to go when he arrived. You choose to ignore his signal, telling yourself that no one in their right mind could get ready that quickly. Pulling a dress over your head, you hear Johnny begin honking impatiently.

“Fucking hell.” You mumble, frustrated as you stomp towards the window, pulling it open to yell at him at the top of your lungs.

“I'M NOT READY!” You scream, poking your head out of the window slightly. Johnny laughs at this, amused as if you weren't almost an hour late to his best friend's insane engagement brunch. You reach behind your back, struggling to pull up the dress’ zipper. Fast paced footsteps carrying you to the mirror, rapidly spinning to see any potential issue. The sound of the front door closing causes you to flinch, even though you knew it was Johnny. You jiggle the zipper even faster trying to get it up before he walks in. You didn't even know why you wanted the dress up so quickly before he walked in, it's not like he had never seen you naked before, but right now you felt embarrassed and didn't even want to hear a word of it from Johnny. Frustrated, you scream in anger throwing yourself onto the floor in defeat while the non-compliant dress bundles at your feet. Johnny rushes towards your bedroom at the sound of the scream, quickly throwing the door open out of worry. The sight of you sitting in the middle of your room, pink silk dress bundled around you, hair messed up and half wet from washing your face, quickly dismisses his worried thoughts. Johnny could feel his heart soften, cherishing this simple moment in his mind as he smiles, walking over to you before placing you on your feet and zipping up the back of your dress.

Johnny’s hands felt cold on your warm flushed skin, hot from a mixture of anger, embarrassment and adrenaline. You look at him through the mirror, silently staring at him as he brushes your hair, not saying a single word. You had expected him to come in, laughing at you for setting your alarm wrong but I guess he could read your utter distress enough for him to stay silent, understanding. With one swift movement you turn around, hooking your arms around his torso, leaning into him with your face squished against his chest.

“Y/N it’s alright, no one is going to care.” Johnny comforted, stroking your head. You didn't reply, only getting up to walk towards your vanity which held all your makeup. Johnny opens your closet, grabbing a cardigan and an undershirt knowing how cruel the cold weather was to your health. He sits on the edge of your bed, close enough to feel heat radiate from you as he watches you apply makeup to your face. He decides to braid a strand of your hair to pass the time. One strand multiplied into two which then turned into 3. Johnny shuffles a bit, the fabric of his puffer jacket chafing together and creating sounds that faded into the music that continued to play. He pulls out his phone, sneakily taking a picture of you.

“Alright, I'm finished!” You announced, getting up from your seat to turn and look at your boyfriend. He smiles at you before handing you a black turtleneck to wear under your dress.

“You’ll get sick if you don't wear this.”

You roll your eyes, turning around as Johnny unzips your dress. Once you have shifted the straps of your dress off of your arms, Johnny places the turtleneck over your head, allowing you to pull it down and tuck it inside the dress before flattening out the layered material.

“Let's take a picture, we’re matching!” You laugh, finally paying attention to his outfit. Johnny was wearing a dusty pink button up shirt layered with a similar black turtleneck and a jacket. His outfit made you smile, realising that you had both unintentionally coordinated your outfits without communication. You stood in front of your wardrobe mirror, pulling out your phone as you pose awkwardly before Johnny stands next to you. His calming presence causes you to become more relaxed as you pose with him. You both took a couple photos, before you began to pose playfully with one another, completely unaware of the passing time. Johnny picks you up slightly which causes you to laugh as he takes more pictures. You cup his face in your hands as you giggle, staring at him full of love, quickly giving him an unexpected kiss. Johnny drops his phone, eyes wide as you smile, placing a kiss on his lips. He goes in for another before your eyes widen, seeing the time on the wall staring back at you like it had moments before on your phone.

“Johnny! Put me down we’re so late!” You squeal, kicking as you slide yourself off him, grabbing your belongings and his car keys. Johnny feels frustration build up in his chest as he whines playfully. He pulls you towards him once more as he huffs sitting down on your bed, kicking his feet like a child.

“Kiss me again Y/NNNNN~” Johnny whines, looking you in the eyes as he kicks his feet even more.

“Johnny we gotta go, we’re already so late.”

He pouts, eyebrows furrowing as he refuses to move, crossing his arms and puckering his lips. “Kisses. Now.” He demands, keeping up his childish demeanor.

You sigh, rubbing your temples as you move towards him, causing him to happily stand up and pucker his lips again, eyes closed and all.

A frown creeps onto your face. Who in the world would be unable to remember the difference in height between you two?

“Johnny... I literally cannot reach.” You announce, pushing his shoulders down as he laughs.

“Lol, why you so short?” He teases, causing you to hit his chest playfully to which he responded overdramatically by gripping his heart in “pain.” Apologizing, he bends down a bit till his face is just above eye level with you.

“Come on, I'm waiting~” He sings happily moving his body from side to side. You sigh, rolling your eyes playfully as you cup his face giving him repetitive pecks on the lips. He smiles into the kisses grabbing you by the waist as he pulls you both down, falling on the bed with a physical ‘oomf’. You laugh, but quickly turn to scold him for the sudden action.

“Johnny, we are literally so late! Jaehyun is going to be so upset!” You squeal, pushing his chest in an attempt to get up. Johnny barely moves, only nuzzling his head on top of yours. After repeatedly trying to escape and failing you sigh. Giving into his cuddling, you wrap your arms around his torso.

“Just 5 minutes Y/N. I barely see you.” He pleads, a more serious tone escaping his lips.

You bite your lip in guilt as you knew how far you and Johnny lived apart from one another, due to the fact you both attended different universities.

“Fine…” You mumble, placing a kiss onto his neck, the only place you could reach due to Johnny’s sheer strength and height. Laying in silence you could hear Johnny’s steadying heart beat rhythmically in your ear as you traced circles on his back. The silence was soon interrupted with Johnny’s phone ringing, sending waves of vibration over the entire bed. Johnny picks it up, placing it on his ear as he rolls over again to continue hugging you.

“Hyung! Where the fuck are you?” You could hear Mark question over the phone. Johnny and you both stay silent, looking at each other, desperately searching for a reply.

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

“Uh! Sorry Mark- Traffic’s real bad right now!” You panicked, getting up from the bed while silently motioning Johnny to do the same.

“Damn, the traffic’s that bad right now?” Mark laughs, causing you to facepalm in disbelief that he really believed the lie. “Alright...See you soon!” He greets before hanging up the phone.

“He is so stupid.”

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aliwritesfic · 3 years

Note

So since you did the cutest job with my mini golf ask…wondering what the TF boys would be like while tie dying with Frankie and his daughter?! I’m attempting to do that tomorrow with my son lol. Please and thank you if you’d like to explore the idea. 🥰😘

First of all, I am SO SORRY this took so long, I've been so busy with uni and forcing myself to actually do the work this semester (who would've thought I could actually apply myself) but I really enjoyed this, and it's actually made me want to go out and do some tie-dying of my own.

Anyways, here's Tie-Dye Tueaday

W/C: 1.6k

T-Minus 5 Hours Until Disaster

“Daddy?” a soft voice rose Frankie out of his fitful sleep. He distantly felt a tiny, warm hand rest on his cheek.

“Yes, cricket?” he mumbled voice heavy with sleep, struggling to open his heavy eyes. He had stayed up until the small hours of the morning frantically researching for the day, watching YouTube videos, making notes, doing whatever he could to prepare.

“Mommy’s going and said I should wake you up,” Everly pulled herself up onto the bed and sat down directly on Frankie’s bladder. He winced and pushed her off gently, wondering just how she always managed to find the worst spot to sit.

“Have you had breakfast?” Frankie asked, and Everly nodded. He said a silent thanks to his ever-amazing wife, who would be spending the day getting massages and facials and whatever else her heart desired before pushing out twins in less than two months’ time. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around that – there would be two more tiny humans in his life soon. The thought left him exhilarated and riddled with anxiety all at once.

Frankie carried Everly downstairs on his back, grabbing his cap from the dresser on his way. The boys would be here soon – they had agreed that tie dying alone with a hyper four year old was a terrible idea, so they were coming to dye something of their own and help Frankie keep a handle on things. Benny was especially excited to dye his shorts to wear to his next fight.

They were halfway through Coco, Everly’s favourite movie, when the front door opened and in came his three best friends, men he had no relation to but considered brothers. Everly went straight to Benny, who was undoubtedly her favourite of them. Frankie had his suspicion that is was because Benny loaded her up on sugar whenever he could. Sure enough, Frankie could see a packet of candy in the plastic bag Benny carried.

“You ready for this?” Will asked, placing a six pack in the fridge. Frankie sighed and nodded.

“Ready as I can be. It can’t go too badly, right?”

T-Minus 3 Hours Until Disaster

The sun was bright and hot on their backs as they set up. Everly sat in the shade of the oak tree, a cup of lemonade in one hand, and her favourite doll in the other. Frankie had forbidden her from coming out in the sun until the sunscreen was fully absorbed, which according to his watch wouldn’t be for another few minutes. It occurred to him that since becoming a father, his mind was filled with worries that he never even considered beforehand.

Frankie had brought dyes in every colour he could, several plastic tubs had been fished out of storage and so many ties that he was sure he would be finding them all around the yard for weeks to come.

“Whatta ya dying, Ev?” Santi called to Everly.

“Purple!” She responded, holding up a pristine white pair of cotton shorts and a shirt.

“Just purple?” Will asked.

“And pink and blue and green!” Everly jumped up, setting her cup down carefully and ran over. “I want it swirly. You should be rainbow wiggles.” She told her father seriously. Will grinned.

“She’s a natural born leader,” he said with more than a touch of pride.

“Just like her mother,” Frankie replied. He took the clothes that Everly held out and began to scrunch and fold them according to the instructions he had written down while watching YouTube last night. The whole thing seemed a lot easier when he was watching through a screen.

Everly chose her dyes as Frankie folded, occasionally handing a certain colour to one of the boys, telling them that they hadto use it. None of them wanted to defy the four year old, so each accepted his colours without protest. Benny seemed quite thrilled when he was given a colour labelled Hot Barbie Pink.

“So many guys will be so fuckin’ embarrassed to get their ass beat by a guy in pink shorts,” Benny grinned.

“Language, Ben!” Frankie darted a frantic look towards Everly, who stood with a cunning smile on her face. Frankie knew that she knew exactly what she wasn’t supposed to say.

“Fuck! Ass!” she declared. Will snorted and Santi had to turn away, face turning bright red from holding in laughter.

Frankie gaped, lost for words for a moment. “Everly, don’t ever say that, but especially the first one, and especially not in front of mommy, okay?”

“Why not?”

Frankie shot a look to Benny, who at least looked a tiny bit sorry. “They’re big people words. Each time you say one your . . . hair gets less curly.”

Everly, who loved her curly hair, looked stricken. Frankie felt bad about lying to his kid, but not as bad as he would’ve felt if his wife came home to a child cussing like she had just strolled out of the military.

The words seemed forgotten as the dye was applied. Everly was surprisingly artful in the way she applied the dye, carefully creating patterns that didn’t make much sense to Frankie but must have made sense to her.

T-Minus 30 Minutes Until Disaster

The group of them sat around the dining room table, beers for the boys and juice for Everly. Most of them had small flecks of multi-coloured dye on their hands, but Frankie was sure they would come off easity. Everly had scoffed down her lunch, and now sat staring outside, looking antsy.

“Go play if you want to,” Frankie said, “you don’t have to sit here.” Frankie was confident there wasn’t anything in the backyard that could pose a danger to her, and besides, he had a view of almost the whole yard from the table.

Everly tore off like a hurricane, juice forgotten as she ran outside, doll in hand.

“If the twins are anything like her . . .” Santi began, taking a sip of his drink. “Fish, you’re gonna have your hands full.”

“If they’re anything like Ev, they’ll be great kids,” Benny said. Will rose his beer bottle. ‘But yeah, you’re definitely gonna have your hands full.”

“Amen, I’ll drink to that,” he said. Frankie nodded and had a sip himself. They talked for a while about football, Benny’s next fight, Santi’s new flame.

Then a thought occurred to Frankie.

“Is it quiet out there?” he craned his neck to investigate the yard and saw . . . nothing. Frankie shot up from his seat, panic rising in his chest. “Everly?” He almost tripped over himself in his haste to get to the backyard. Every worst case scenario was forming in his head.

“Ev?” Benny was beside him in an instant.

“Daddy?” Everly wandered out from behind the tree, and Frankie took a deep breath, calming himself. She was unscathed . . . except for the dye that now stained her arms, legs, face, hair. She was grinning widely, and held up her doll, who was also covered in a rainbow of dye.

“Cricket, what did you do?” Frankie gaped, wondering just how she managed to get almost every inch of exposed skin in such a short amount of time.

“Miss Mildew wanted her hair to be pretty,” Everly explained.

“Your dolls name is Miss Mildew?” Santi asked, red in the face with held back laughter. Everly nodded proudly. She had heard the word on television one night and latched onto it.

“What do you think is worse,” Will murmured to Benny, “Ev swearing, or Ev covered in dye?”

“Swearing,” Benny said snickering, “you can wash out the dye, you can’t unlearn a word.”

“What word?” Everly asked. Ears of a hawk, Frankie thought.

“The word you’re not allowed to say,” Will said.

“And what word would that be?” A smooth voice behind them almost made Frankie jump out of his skin. His wife, beautiful and terrifying all at once, stood on the patio, one hand on her stomach, the other on her hip.

“Fuck!” Everly declared loudly and proudly.

“Teaching my child new words, I see, Benjamin.”

Benny to his credit, at least looked more apologetic than he did with Frankie.

Frankie’s wife waddled down into the yard and set her gaze on her husband. “That dye won’t make her sick will it?”

“No, no, not at all,” he said. He had specifically brought kid friendly, skin safe, non-toxic dye.

“Good. Then I’m gonna go lie down and try and forget my four-year-old just said the eff-word and is every colour under the sun.” His wife shook her head and rolled her eyes at Benny. Once she was inside, Frankie turned to Everly.

“C’mon, we gotta clean you up,” he reached to pick Everly up who shook her head.

“We gotta see what they look like first!” she said. Frankie considered her point and nodded.

“Alright, cricket,” he said. They unravelled the clothes to a chorus of oohs and aahs, Everly clapped her green hands together as her multi-coloured shorts and top were revealed.

Benny sheepishly wandered over to Frankie as he put everything in the washing machine. “Hey man, I really am sorry about that.”

Frankie shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Just buy the missus as much caffeine as she wants when she’s done breastfeeding and she’ll forget all about it.”

“I hope so. Her bad side is not a place I wanna be.”

Frankie laughed and scooped up Everly in his arms. Her curls were streaked with blue and her cheeks were magenta. “Trust me, she won’t stay mad for long. I don’t think she’s that mad to be honest.”

“You don’t?” Benny sounded unsure.

“Well she didn’t yell, and it looked like she was trying not to laugh. All things considered, I think today was a success story.”

Tagging @sharkbait77 because I think you’d enjoy this

#i love it when kids swear #frankie fix #frankie fic #triple frontier

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