#making the boy distressed times
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so can we all agree that Steve would be INSANE about nascar
#so fun fact#it first aired in 1960#that was the first DAYTONA race#n in my heart mr.c mentioned it in like passing#like oh! thats cool! that nascar thing is on tv!#n steve happens to be there n he LOCKS tf IN#beginning of the end#no one else particularly cares#soda tries to but he always gets like well... is there anything else??#after theyve made like the 3rd lap#godbless that boy#he doesnt have the attention to watch them make the same lap 100 times#but steve knows like EVERYTHING about EVERY racer#im talking stats even the drivers dont know#when he was younger he wanted to be a driver SO bad#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#steve randle#hes SAT for EVERY race#one time he was doing something#n darry was like if u dont knock it off im gonna let Pony watch sunday morning cartoons instead of the pre-qualies#n steve was so distressed over that he knocked that shit off IMMEDIATELY#ponyboy curtis
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Part 6 of the Linked Universe Winged Au! After many requests this time around we've got our Veteran, Legend!
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As always we have to start off with a bird fact, so did you know that male White-Winged Crossbills have unpigmented barbules that mask their red color and are what make them appear pink in the fall? However, as these barbules wear off, the bright red is able to show through leaving them a brilliant red in the spring and summer!
Anyways, I found this fact to be very interesting especially considering Legend's adventure throughout Oracle of Seasons. Just the mental image of his plumage slightly shifting with the constant changing of the seasons was very funny to me and I couldn't NOT make it canon. Plus, I enjoy making his life more difficult than it already is because I also headcanon that when he was younger, his wings were constantly stuck in a half molted state because white-winged crossbills usually molt in the fall. In other words, turns out messing around with seasons and time has consequences so he was a very scruffy, fluffy looking kid growing up.
As for how he looks and acts now, he has many similar characteristics and behaviors of a White-Winged Crossbill. For example, he is a very strong flier, and his unique way of flying has given him a very aggressive and abrupt fighting style both on the ground and in the air. His style of fighting is especially effective in forests with a lot of trees because it allows him to dart between foliage and foes alike.
While his flight and fighting styles were influenced by the sheer number of quests he has gone on as well as his young age when he began, other characteristics and behaviors of his were also influenced as well. For example, when he was still just a kid thrown into his first adventure where just about everything in the world was bigger than him, he learned to bristle and fluff his feathers to appear bigger and more threatening to enemies. While somewhat effective at the time, nowadays it means he still has the unconscious habit of doing it whenever he is irritated or embarrassed.
In addition to his tendency to "poof" when upset, he also has a habit of picking at and pulling out his own feathers when especially stressed. He picked up this habit mainly because of his constant molting as a child but then continued it as he was went on more and more adventures. Doing it is second nature to him now, but it's a bad habit he's actively trying to break by fiddling with his rings instead. It's also part of why he's so insistent about preening the others because helping them quite literally stops him from pulling out his own feathers.
Anyways! I could go on, but that's all for now folks! Thank you again for all your support and kind messages! I really treasure them and they are always the highlight of my day! As always, feel free to let me know who or what you would like to see next! Thank you all again!
Bonus Doodle Feat. Wind taking a photo of Wild taking a photo of Legend inspired by this masterpiece:
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#my art#winged au#LUWAU#Linked Universe: Winged AU#linkeduniverse#linked universe#loz#legend of zelda#loz link#lu legend#I'm a failure#I swear I had this art done like 2 days ago but I'm illiterate and couldn't write to save my life#Anyways. Making Legend's life and childhood even more difficult than it already was is my passion#Did I basically give him the equivalent of bird acne with his constant molting??? Whoops.#also that lil tidbit about pulling out his own feathers is a real thing birds do when physically or emotionally distressed!#I really looked at Legend and went “this bad boy can hold so many suppressed trauma responses”#I also showed this to @breannasfluff a couple days ago and she said Legend looked like he was posing for a picture#So I had to draw a quick doodle to make it canon#I use my time and artistic talents for good I swear
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This is a reminder to everyone in North America who is unable to get tickets for the pre-sale and general sale of Sleep Token’s Teeth of God tour. DO NOT buy resale tickets through third-party vendors like StubHub, Seat Geek, Vivid Seats, etc. Tickets for the Teeth of God tour are mobile-only and non-transferable. This means the seller will not be able to transfer the tickets you purchased from them. The only reliable way to purchase tickets to this tour is through Ticketmaster or your local venue’s ticketing system. Please protect yourself and do not get scammed. If you do not have tickets and need tickets, check out the list I’ve created below the cut. Once pre-sales/general sales are over, I’ll update this post with more links. For more context, check my post here.
Saturday, April 27 – Las Vegas, Nevada Sick New World Music Festival Purchase Tickets through Sick New World’s Website. Third-party sites and sellers can transfer mobile tickets.
Tuesday, April 30 – Phoenix, Arizona Arizona Financial Theatre 400 W Washington St, Phoenix, AZ 85003 (602) 379-2800 Purchase tickets resale through Ticketmaster.
Wednesday, May 1 – Albuquerque, New Mexico Revel Entertainment Center 4720 Alexander Blvd NE, Albuquerque, NM 87107 (505) 321-0406 Purchase tickets resale through Prekindle.
Friday, May 3 – Austin, Texas H-E-B Center 2100 Ave of the Stars, Cedar Park, TX 78613 (512) 600-5000 Purchase Tickets resale through Ticketmaster.
Saturday, May 4 – Dallas, Texas Toyota Music Factory 316 W Las Colinas Blvd., Irving, TX 75039 (469) 840-9730 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Monday, May 6 – Tampa, Florida Yuengling Center 12499 USF Bull Run Drive, Tampa, FL 33617 (813) 974-3111 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Tuesday, May 7 – Atlanta, Georgia Coca-Cola Roxy 800 Battery Ave SE #500, Atlanta, GA 30339 (470) 351-3866 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Wednesday, May 8 – Asheville, North Carolina ExploreAshville.com Arena 87 Haywood St, Asheville, NC 28801 (828) 259-5736 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Friday, May 10 – St. Louis, Missouri The Factory 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, MO 63005 (314) 423-8500 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Sunday, May 12 – Morrison, Colorado Red Rocks Amphitheatre 18300 W Alameda Pkwy, Morrison, CO 80465 (720) 865-2494 Purchase Tickets through AXS. Third-party sites and sellers can transfer mobile tickets.
Tuesday May 14 – Des Moines, Iowa Vibrant Music Hall 2938 Grand Prairie Pkwy, Waukee, IA 50263 (515) 895-4980 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Wednesday, May 15 & Thursday, May 16 – Chicago, Illinois Salt Shed 1357 N Elston Ave, Chicago, IL 60642 (708) 967-2168 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster. Third-party sites and sellers can transfer mobile tickets.
Saturday, May 18 – Columbus, Ohio Sonic Temple Art & Music Festival Purchase Tickets through Sonic Temple’s Website. Third-party sites and sellers can transfer mobile tickets.
Sunday, May 19 – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Petersen Events Center 3719 Terrace St, Pittsburgh, PA 15261 (412) 648-3054 Purchase Tickets through AXS.
Monday, May 20 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania The Met 858 N Broad St, Philadelphia, PA 19130 (800) 653-8000 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Wednesday, May 22 – New York, New York Radio City Music Hall 1260 6th Ave, New York, NY 10020 (212) 465-6000 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster. Third-party sites and sellers can transfer mobile tickets.
Friday, May 24 – Boston, Massachusetts MGM Music Hall 2 Lansdowne St, Boston, MA 02215 (617) 488-7540 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Saturday, May 25 – Laval, Quebec Place Bell 1950 Rue Claude-Gagné, Laval, QC H7N 0E4, Canada (514) 492-1775 Purchase Tickets through Ticketmaster.
Monday, May 27 & Tuesday May 28– Toronto, Ontario Massey Hall 178 Victoria St, Toronto, ON M5B 1T7, Canada (416) 872-4255 Purchase Tickets through Massey Hall.
#sleep token#teeth of god tour#sleepanon rant#i don't mean this post to cause panic or distress#i'm just trying to help other sleep token fans out#this presale has been a massive mess#and i too am massively disappointed#i considered making a rant post too#but figured this is a lot more helpful and a lot less toxic#good luck to everyone who has yet to get tickets#i'm rooting for you and i really hope you get to see the eepy boys in may#please don't give up trying to get tickets#resale has come back multiple times for rcmh#and has been back for a while for red rocks#i'm sure these rituals will be the same
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I hope one day we get a mainline sonic game focusing on a side character where sonic gets into trouble and need to be saved
#ramblings#put that boy in the damsel in distress role he's been badass for long enough#forces doesn't count bc he gets saved after like two or three levels and you get to play as him for most of the remainder of the game#tmosth doesn't count either bc it's a spinoff. also he gets better at the end to beat the final boss#i need a game fully focusing on another character where he is not playable at all#idk those titan!sonic doodles i did a really long time ago popped up in my notes again and got me thinking abt a game like that#where sonic is put through The Horrors and needs to fully rely on his friends despite his own status as Main Character and Hero#like shake up the formula a bit. it's a good chance to explore new gameplay styles or revisit older ones#and would make for an interesting narrative. exploring what kind of scenario sonic Can't get himself out of forcing him to rely on others#like titan!sonic. where the end conjures up a titan and traps him in it. basically using him as a puppet against his friends#but that was just a hypothetical ending for frontiers so the rest of the game would've had him be playable#what i want rn is a game where he Isn't the main character y'know#i should be sleeping rn lol
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feel like shit just want her back (a sense that everything will be okay and that i have a future i'll be content with, where i am capable of fulfilling my goals and feel safe & loved)
#friday chats#posting this in a meme format to cope bc. hoo boy.#and i'm making this unrebloggable bc last time i phrased a slightly venty post in a jokey way someone reblogged it#and a lot more ppl saw it than intended and it made my distress worse#i'm gonna get ready for bed i think a shower will help
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I have simple ship tastes. I like annoying people who love each other who don’t realize they’re in love with each other (but the care runs deep and that is what matters most 🪐☀️
context of 2nd is showing the team a twofer of miximax and tenchi raimei at the same time‼️
some more wips too among… a lot… it do be like that. Half of Arakumo being baby 1st years got me crying fr. Maybe I’ll share my hc thoughts soon! There are a lot!!! Both whole team wise and the sataame besties to lovers 👌
#Just tagging the focal boys for now but everyone will have their time ☺️#sata tosamaru#amemiya taiyou#inazuma eleven go#arakumo gakuen#Ig I tag it now help#sataame#I like the og name bc it sounds like freaking sonic satam#but idk who to draw as sonic then sally#I’m so distressed Sata has diff palettes from anime to game I will have to make it work#inazuma eleven
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these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////
anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice
didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw
#ffxivposting#i knew it was coming bc i tried to use the google search bar as a spellcheck for his name (LOL) like a DUMBASS because in the suggestions..#i was like no!! no!! but he's so funny!!!!!! and the second he showed up in game again i started taking screenshots of me n the bestieee#it wouldnt be accurate to say that i am Emotional about this but i am like aw man...but he was so funny...insert montage of All The Memorie#was crazy seeing her looking so distressed in a cutscene. girl me too! he was so funny </3#the loud ass screenshot sound effects throughout the cutscene were funny though.this is who i am#altogether i have like 150+ screenshots of this game thus far.serious shit#IN OTHER NEWS:#- i cant stop laughing at finding out that a.lphinaud is in fact 16 years old. like i was guessing he was 17 or so but man it checks out#so hard. smart fella or not of course the sixteen year old boy naively founded a private army. it checks out so hard. hes cute :)#- since the tail end of arr patch quests ive been checking npc dialogue of relevant characters and thats a bit of a goldmine sometimes#- the first time aymeric(?) (not double checking via google ive learned my lesson) showed up i joked that he was going to be an akc type#and well no. he's really not. but i did cackle when it was revealed that he was a bastard child. clocked him on accident#- addicted to dalamud red dye. was funny when estinien started rocking his blood red armor like omg now we're Extra twinsies!#funny to me when they acknowledge the whole drg class stuff. like ah yes the Other azure drg. sorry estinien this feels like stolen valor#this is just what happens when u play f.fiv multiple times when u are r like 6. and also just think lances are sexy.#- can't wait to find out where tf the rest of the scions went. hi guys. you wont Believe what happened while you were AFK!#that's right! dragons! and then theyre like I Haven't Seen The Light Of The Sun For An Ambiguous Amount Of Time...cowabummer!#i keep joking abt needing to do a wellness check on urianger but honestly hes fine hes living it up in the sand. hes doing fine#- anyway can someone do a wellness check on ysayle(?).#- i've unlocked flight in a couple zones! thankkk god. some of these places are ROUGH to navigate without it sometimes.#- my keybinds are rough. also i have a gauge now. havent gotten to use it bc of level sync but anyway this feels like school#dont worry chat i only do duties with other real players when i Literally Have To Because They Make Me#- anyway. very ? about what theyre going to do with the rest of this story. intrigued. and quite sleepy i must say.
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Gonna have to create my own Varian fanwork(s) because the stuff already out there feels too much like an exaggerated parody to my taste
#Fandom chit chats#I am thinking ''did we watch the same show'' too much I fear#Every time I see something with Varian#I know fandoms will prioritize and elevate white boys/men like woah but the way TTS fandom does it with Varian is just. Something else lmao#But honestly? Makes me kind of glad Eugene didn't get as bad as him. Now that would've genuinely made me distressed dfkjkfbd
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Please tell me Sam didn’t just make a reference to the fucking Hatchet.
#Critical Role#CR3#CR3-50#''If Xandis has a cardiac arrest...'' stop right there Sam Riegel#lol#god damn I hated that book#gave me massive anxiety while reading it while also being one of the endless schlog of the ''boy does all the things ever'' genre#boring and distressing what a fucking combo. if you're going to be distressing maybe also be interesting?#still a reasonably good book despite being one of my most hated genres all time and two of my most hated genres at the time I read it#unlike huck finn. which. Seriously there has to be a better book with the same message that isn't excruciating to read#fuck twain fuck his prose fuck his inability to make either of his perspective characters likeable#and especially fuck his inability to end a goddamn novel#it has been a decade since I had to read either of those books but I sure do still have resentment#and my begrudging respect remains extended to only one of them. Never want to hear about it again though bleugh#I'd rather read stephen king than reread either of those and I hate his writing too.#I suffered through like 5 of his books before giving up#ignore morg#morg rants
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pls pls pls 🥹 older bf! gojo fucking the attitude out of his gf
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𝝑𝑒 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. satoru picks you up after your lecture to spend quality time with you, only to realise you got an attitude that needs some fixing.
tags. dom older bf!gojo x female reader. smut, pwp but also with plot. age gap (reader early 20’s, satoru early 30’s). rough. hints of degradation. p in v -> unprotected. standing doggy. semi-public. spanking. hair pulling. name calling. creampīe. nicknames ‘princess, baby’. wc: 3.2k
“mind telling me who that was, baby?” satoru asks while he fixes his sunglasses. he pushes his hair back a little, walking beside you through campus. you had just finished your study session with a boy who’s in your statistics class. your lovely boyfriend offered to pick you up and take you back home after that.
though, despite the kind gesture, you’re still visibly stressed after revising the material. your mind is occupied with all sorts of stuff you need to know before your exam on thursday.
“just a classmate,” you respond curtly, not even looking at satoru. you’re speeding ahead of him, wanting to rush home already. you nibble on your bottom lip and your brows are furrowed due to the distress, “why do you care?”
that sentence came out harsher than you had expected it to. you don’t mean to be bitchy, but you’re under too much stress at the moment. your body reacts before you can withstand it.
satoru is silent for a few seconds. he’s surprised by the tone of voice you used. he keeps on following you, however, not letting your little comment ruin the conversation. he’s there to help you, not to make you even more upset.
which is why he tries to lighten the mood.
“oh?” satoru chuckles, his dimples showing. he easily keeps up with you, his long legs carrying him around quite fast. the white haired man pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear ever so gently, “did someone upset my little princess today?”
you don’t answer him. you’re focused on your phone, hurriedly texting your friend back while speeding past all the other students. you don’t even notice how the girls are gawking at your man—whispering about how handsome he is and who he might be.
satoru doesn’t pay them any mind. his sole goal is to gain your attention back. he frowns after his question is met with silence. the clicking of his dress shoes increases as he tries to get you to stop and face him.
“c’mon,” your boyfriend sighs and stands in front of you, stopping you to an abrupt halt. he holds your wrist tenderly yet firmly, letting you know that he wants to properly communicate with you, “y’ can’t ignore me.”
you yank your hand back, your irritated attitude visible in your actions. you look up at satoru, not caring about what he thinks or wants at the moment. you just want to go home and relax. everything is overstimulating you.
“i can and i will,” you huff before stepping aside to continue your journey out of the university’s terrain. your boyfriend’s frown only deepens. you’re not the only one who’s currently getting agitated. you push past a group of students who stood in your way, “let’s just go home.”
satoru’s eyes narrow. he doesn’t get upset fast—he rarely feels any kind of anger—but right now he can feel something itching inside of his chest. he’s tried not to let the jealousy get the best of him at first, but now with all the other emotions coming into play, it’s nearly impossible to hold himself back.
satoru considers himself a fairly mature man. he’s always been one, yet when it comes to you he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t have any control over his emotions. his body and mind act on their own.
“aht aht. not so fast, little lady.”
you suddenly feel yourself being dragged to the side. satoru’s grip around your arm isn’t harsh, but it sure is enough to make you stumble along with him. you click your teeth in slight annoyance after the initial shock settles in. you know there’s no fighting it; you don’t want others to witness your little squabble.
“hey, where are we going?” you ask, a slight whine leaving your throat. you simply want to go lay in your bed and avoid everything and everyone else. your eyes are focused on the back of satoru’s head as he guides you along. he doesn’t bother to face nor answer you.
you sigh and simply allow yourself to be dragged away. if you’re going to get a scolding, you don’t mind. you’re just going to hear him out and nod along so you can go back home faster.
you raise an eyebrow when satoru arrives at the bathroom on the second floor. “what the—” you’re confused as to what your boyfriend is trying to achieve. you quickly look around to see if anyone has seen you.
no one seems to be close. this part of the building has always been empty around this time frame anyway.
you’re pulled into the men’s bathroom after satoru made sure that the coast was clear. he gently pushes you into an empty stall and locks the door. “satoru, what’s up with you?” you sigh as you stumble back against the bathroom wall. it’s a hypocritical comment considering your own nasty attitude.
you try to push him aside, only for your boyfriend to force your arms around his neck, pulling you flush against him. your eyes lock into his and that’s when you notice how . . dark they are. the usual playful look is nowhere to be found.
“i’m just thinkin’ that y’r attitude needs some fixing, hm?” satoru whispers. a ghost of a smirk appears on his face—it’s a twisted one. wicked, with the thoughts of what he’ll do to punish you for your actions. he rarely has that expression when he’s with you.
he tips your chin up with quite some force, “i can help with that.”
everything else happens at a blink of an eye. one of satoru’s large hands slithers up your back to tangle in your hair and yank it back, exposing the column of your throat for his hickeys to take shape on. his other hand swiftly makes work of your pants and undergarments.
his jaw is clenched—the usual hint of gentle love in his eyes is replaced by lust fuelled by jealousy and frustration. satoru is not playing around either. instead of taking his time like he usually does when it comes to intimacy, he’s quick to discard both your clothing.
“fuckin’ tease,” the white-haired man mutters under his breath, panting with desire. he zips down his pants and frees his big cock from his boxers. “always pushing my buttons. isn’t that right, baby?”
satoru lets out a breathy, mocking chuckle. he fists the shaft slowly while his blue eyes roam over your body caged against him and the wall, “but i guess tha’s part of the reason why i love you—hah.”
you’re basically in shock at the sudden switch. your jaw is slack and your eyes are wide, but there’s an undeniable feeling in your chest that tells you you’re loving this change. you can’t deny the fact that you’re turned on. extremely turned on.
“‘toru, i don’t think it’s smart to do this here,” you murmur in a small voice. you’re trying to have some dignity, even now, when your panties are soaked and the scent of your obvious arousal is driving your man crazy.
“don’t care,” satoru shakes his head with a smug grin. his long fingers hook around the waistband of your underwear before flimsily tugging them down to your ankles. his eyes darken the second he sees the webs of sticky, translucent slick clinging from your panties to your puffy folds.
he grunts, his cock twitching painfully in his hand. he’s thinking of simply jerking off to the sight of you in front of him, but he decided otherwise. satoru smacks your clit with his fat tip, “should’ve thought about that before catchin’ an attitude with me.”
suddenly, he turns you around so you’re facing the wall. your nails dig into the flat surface of the tiles, catching onto nothing. you’re hoping that no one will walk into the bathroom. last thing you need is everyone knowing that you were getting your back blown out by your boyfriend on campus.
not that satoru would mind those rumors. it’d only fuel his (already) huge ego.
“oh, yeah— shit. you need this ‘s much as i do,” satoru groans as sinks his cock into your pussy, agonisingly slow, inch by inch. you shudder and hold in your moans as your velvety walls make part for him.
his hands spread your pert asscheeks, smacking the full globes before kneading them to soothe the pain. he continues in a low, dangerous voice, “you wouldn’t be so stuck up if y’ didn’t need this fuckin’ dick to shut you up.”
satoru doesn’t stop pushing in until his heavy balls are resting snugly against your bottom, warming his sack full of cum that’s aching to be released in your dripping cunt.
“ngh, ‘toru,” you bite your lip and try not to orgasm just from the feeling of being full— so full of cock that it makes you see stars, “just like that.”
the white-haired man responds with a satisfied grunt, sweat forming on his forehead from how hot and wet it is inside of you.
“oh, there she is,” satoru coos once he hears your whiny voice, that sweet voice he cherishes and loves. it isn’t cold nor avoidant anymore like before and that’s really all he wanted to acquire. he licks a stripe from the tip of your ear to the lobe, voice husky, “there’s the girlfriend i know. moan some more f’ me.”
you shiver as satoru’s lips connect with the back of your neck. after wetting the skin with his saliva, he bites. not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a mark. you clamp around his dick in response and he curses under his breath.
“please, fuck me,” you breathe. you need more stimulation, need him to absolutely ruin you. the shallow and slow thrusts he’s giving are nothing but torturous.
satoru grins and rests his chin on top of your shoulder, large hands rubbing around your hips and lower abdomen, teasing your clit every now and then to get you even more pent up.
“fuck you?” he tilts his head, as if contemplating. he clicks his tongue and gives your ass a firm slap that nearly sends you over the edge. “hah, you should be grateful for what i’m givin’ you.”
but satoru’s weak for you. even if he’s trying to be the ‘mean’ and ‘cold’ dominant guy. his cock is aching to plunge in and out of your wet hole, to see you come undone and feel your juices coat his balls and thighs.
“fine. i’ll fuck you,” satoru relents with a roll of his eyes, acting like he isn’t desperate for you too. he grips your hips in a bruising manner and bites your shoulder, “—fuck you like the brat you are.”
your hands save your face from making contact with the wall as your body suddenly jostles back and forth in a speed you can’t even process.
“satoru!” you nearly scream his name out of pure surprise. the pleasure comes crashing down in waves, your pussy uncontrollably spasming around his girthy cock.
satoru grumbles something incoherent as he pistons his hips, ramming in your sloppy cunt while his eyes are fixated on your bouncing ass. white locks of hair stick to his forehead as he splits you open on his dick.
“so pretty,” the older man sighs. he turns your head sideways so you can look him in the eyes while he fucks you silly. he caresses your cheek gently, a contrast to the mocking grin on his lips and the rough thrusts against your ass, “too bad y’ got such a potty mouth on you.”
satoru pushes his index and middle finger between your lips to muffle your noises, “…but don’t worry, i’ll fix that for you. gladly.”
you eagerly suck on them between quick gasps of air, saliva trickling down his hand. your boyfriend redoubles his efforts, the fat tip of his dick hitting that special spot deep inside you.
his free hand reaches down to circle your clit. the double stimulation sends you into a state of pure bliss. your pupils are dilated as you struggle to find satoru’s gaze, head lolling back and forth with each powerful stroke.
perhaps this really was all you needed to help destress and forget all about your responsibilities. it feels good to not think about anything at all— your head empty except for the feeling of your cunt being filled.
satoru’s cock twitches inside of you with the urge to release a load in your womb. “give me it, please,” your voice is muffled as you plead with him. your hand sneaks downwards, trying to find his balls, “w-want your cum.”
your fingers toy with his sack once you find it. his pre-cum and your own juices now coat your skin as well, your hand enclosing around his balls, massaging them. it’s like you’re trying to coax his potent semen out of them and that alone makes satoru throw his head back in ecstasy.
“little cumslut. . .” satoru growls, brows furrowing as he tries not to shoot his cum inside of your greedy cunt right that second. the hand that was keeping you quiet quickly snatches your wrist and pins it against the bathroom wall.
“are you that desperate to get filled? yeah?” your boyfriend huffs, not stopping to catch his breath at all. his hips pound faster against your ass with renewed passion.
your lips are parted and they move, but not a single answer comes out of your mouth. you’re unable to think or talk because of the pleasure.
satoru takes that as a yes. the erotic sight of you being so lost in sin is enough to fuel his desire to fuck you harder. his hips never falter as he scoffs at your pathetic self, “tch, so addicted to my cock y’ can’t even answer me.”
you shake your head and search for your words. however, you fail, and all that you’re capable of communicating is what you need, “fuuuuck, yes i am—‘toru, need your cock ‘n cum— more.”
satoru lets go of your wrist to grab your jaw. he forces your head back again before he captures your lips in a bruising kiss. his tongue plunders inside your mouth, exploring every inch.
he pulls back to gasp for air and releases your jaw with a slight shove to grab your hips again. “more? hah,” the white-haired man lets out a haughty chuckle. he gives a particular hard thrust against your butt, tip kissing your cervix painfully yet deliciously, “y’ think you deserve more after that shit you pulled?”
satoru yanks your head back by your hair. the stinging sensation makes your scalp itchy, but it also increases your pleasure. he lowers his lips to your ear, his voice dangerously low, “nah, you gotta make this work.”
you could. you can make it work and that’s the truth. he could fuck you with just his tip and you’d be able to cum a couple times in a row.
jolts of pleasure run down your spine as satoru drives into you harder, the force of his thrusts rocking your entire body. you’re seeing stars and the words roll off your tongue, “please, mhh, almost there!”
satoru groans. he can feel the delicious fluttering of your cunt around his cock, the telltale signs of an orgasm building. he has half a mind to pull out completely and let you writhe and beg him some more.
he contemplates it for a few seconds. the second your eyes start to roll back, signaling your impending climax, his cock slips out of your pussy. you whine and push your hips back in search for his dick- to fill the void he left.
satoru jerks himself off at the pitiful sight. he rubs his veiny shaft between your slick folds before slapping the tip against your cunt, letting it catch onto your entrance for a few times.
“begging like that isn’t going to get you anywhere. y’ can do better,” your boyfriend encourages in a sultry tone. one of his hands rest on your tummy, fingers splaying over your clothed skin. another filthy smack of his tip against your slit makes you shiver, “come on.”
you bite your lip out of frustration. you arch your back each time the fat head of his cock catches onto your gaping hole, hoping to slip it in, but you can't. you tilt your head back and lock eyes with satoru close up behind you.
“please let me cum, 'toru. i'll be good, i promise,” you beg with a lewd pleading expression. one that make satoru's balls tighten with the urge to cum as well.
with a low groan, satoru snaps his hips forward, burying his dick inside of you once more, “there ya go. good girl, knew y’ had it in you.��
the praise and familiar feeling of his dick stretching you open is enough to push you over the edge. you nearly black out as your cunt spasms around him, your juices gushing out to coat his length and balls.
satoru grits his teeth once he feels your tight cunt clench viciously around his throbbing cock. your orgasm has a domino effect on your lover, causing him to hastily chase his own release. “shit! take it, princess. take it all inside this greedy fuckin' cunt,” he hisses and grinds his pelvis against the fat of your ass.
satoru buries himself to the hilt before his cock jerks and pulses, emptying his balls deep inside of you. his fingers dig into the meat of your butt, holding you in place as he grinds against you, making sure every last drop of his seed is nestled into your waiting womb.
“there y’ go, mhm—taking my load so deep,” your lover sighs and lowers his head, resting against your back. he hugs you tightly to his chest while you both catch your breath. he rides out his orgasm slowly, still grinding against you while he leaves lazy kisses on your nape.
a minute passes before you've regained your composure, somewhat. you smile as satoru kisses your temple lovingly, praising you for taking him so well. the switch back to his usual gentleman personality is much needed after such an intense moment.
“thank you, babe. i needed that,” you giggle as you rest back against his chest. thick, pearly globs of cum escape your pussy, dripping around his cock and onto your thighs, but neither of you could care less. the clean up is a problem for later.
satoru chuckles back at you as he leaves another loving kiss against your cheek. “i knew you did,” he murmurs and pets your head, “my poor girl has been working so hard on her assignments, hm? poor, poor baby.”
you playfully roll your eyes at the overexaggerated concern in your lover's voice, however you appreciate it.
satoru doesn't bother to pull out. first things first; he needs to get you all comfortable again and give you the aftercare you deserve. his hands massage your hips as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, acting all lovey-dovey like he hasn't just shown you a more dominant side of him.
“how ‘bout we go home and order some food? we can cuddle and watch a movie together, ‘kay? i’ll take care of you, princess.”
#sttoru writes.#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader#satoru gojo smut#satoru smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fic#gojo fic#jjk x female reader
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wugh
#anyone else taking part in being eaten alive from the inside sunday or just me. just me? oh okay then#but im a big boy i can learn to communicate my distress to other people. possibly. well im not so sure actually. ykw nvm#anyway im making brownies and then im gonna do my ironing while watching a movie#the upside of being medicated is being able to focus but the downside is that if i dont direct that somewhere i will focus on ruminating#its quick its easy and its free: having intrusive thoughts abt killing yourself in response to thinking abt trying to express emotion#hmm. yeah. anyway#.diaries#Well im going to have to say smth by next weekend anyway bc if i dont ill have to duck out of whatever social plans#and if i dont go ill get rsd triggered and end up home alone self harming instead. so like. not rly an option innit#i say that as if i havent chosen the latter option over talking abt how i feel to resolve shit many many fucking times before lmao#well maybe this time! whatever im just being dramatic it doesnt matter that much. well it does to me. but not to anyone else so.#anyway i need to get off my phone and get these brownies in the oven fr#.vent#sorry for ventposting but its kind of expected from me on a sunday by this point innit lol
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#he's good at his job! #crozier likes him! crozier chose him! #and any enabling of crozier happens because he lives and works in one of the most strictly hierarchical systems to ever exist #where dissidence can be a hanging offence! #and he's so! fucking! angry! about it #also having to deal with a spirit bear on top of everything #that makes you question the very fabric of the assumptions you once had about the world #also his cabin door is stuck!! #we talk a lot about jopson finally snapping and beginning to bite and kick #i really think he should invite edward to the inevitable breakdown - @maedhrus
listen i don't think edward little was actually a bad first lieutenant. when we see him in the first episode he's calm and confident. he does not say much but he's amiable enough. crozier likes him, and i don't think crozier would like anyone he doesn't think capable in some way. generally he's dependable and knows what he's doing. however unfortunately for edward he has these qualities because he has a major case of eldest daughter syndrome, which means he both wants to please his mum (crozier) and has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for his younger siblings (crew), so when they get stuck in the ice and crozier starts going (more) alcoholic, he enables his mum bc he doesn't want to disappoint her even if he doesn't agree with her, and he has to pick up the tasks and care for his siblings she's not doing, but he can't let his siblings know about their mum's situation because they'll get worried and restless. and like a true eldest daughter he has to bear the brunt of mummy's anger for being a disappointment but he also doesn't want to seek refuge with the man she divorced (fitzjames) because that feels like a betrayal. also while this is going on there is a giant bear who hunts his siblings for sport so they're dying left and right and also a changeling master manipulator who's making his siblings mad at their mum and who wants to fuck said mum before eating her like some sort of praying mantis. anyway i think i would start being miserable and anxious too.
#the terror#edward little#helen just so you know i am in love with the way you tag these kinds of posts and i need everyone else to see how good your takes are#also curry; just your post in general; like-- YES. FINALLY. SOMEONE SAID IT. SAY IT LOUDER. SHOUT IT FROM THE FUKCING ROOFTOPS#i can and will die on the hill that ned little - the actual lt. little of the show - is as far removed from the sad wet doormat of a man#that fanon likes to portray him as; as humanly possible#the closest correlation between fanon!ned and actual canon!ned is his prolonged misery and level of worry-induced distress#he's more than competent - we see it time and again throughout the first half of the show#but the biggest indication of this is crozier himself handing little his pistol when he goes into self-imposed rehab#HE WOULDN'T DO THAT IF HE DIDN'T THINK EDWARD WAS CAPABLE OF HANDLING THE SITUATION.#crozier's not a man to mince words or spare feelings - if he thought little unequal to the task he would've handed his pistol to fitzjames#instead; but no. he chooses edward precisely bc he knows edward is loyal and steadfast and capable of doing what needs to be done#edward is the one who falters in that scene; not bc he's too overwhelmed to cope but because he knows exactly what is at stake if#anything goes wrong during crozier's convalescence; the lives of a hundred+ men turning on a dime should crozier not survive his withdrawal#and he's not wrong to feel daunted by the task! it's an immense amount of responsibility -#one crozier himself bowed and buckled under the second leadership of the expedition was thrust upon him! it's a terrifying situation;#but edward still steps up and in the wake of francis's seclusion; for once; things actually go somewhat smoothly!#the men are faring better without the black cloud of crozier's alcoholism and negativity hanging over them like a shroud;#he's gotten fitzjames off his back for the most part; other than for carnivale. and even here we see edward's diligence and commitment#to his position as first lieutenant of the expedition bc he's the one questioning using vital supplies for a party! he's the one#who agrees that the men need the distraction; but worries if they can afford to foot the bill later;#when things will be more difficult! that is the kind of mindset francis himself displays at the beginning#of the show when he's questioning sir john's decision to press forward despite every sign imaginable telling them not to!#EDWARD WORRIES FOR THE MEN THE SAME WAY CROZIER DOES#what trips him up; what ends up driving a wedge between him and crozier; what causes little to fuck up the armory situation; is this:#crozier himself. bc francis was a mean drunk. and while in his cups he treated little as no better than a ship's boy; running menial errand#and very literally risking life and limb to indulge the vices of a man who treats him with open contempt (and let's be clear;#that man isn't the captain edward has come to know and respect since they set out from greenhithe - no; that is a stranger wearing#his captain's face; making choices that leave edward feeling frustrated and helpless and enraged)#what crozier's belittling of little's station and rank does during this time is make him deeply insecure of his own purpose and competence;
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This is not the first time this has happened either:
[Jul 16 2024] Berlin police is arresting children at pro-Palestinian demonstrations, in what activists say is a shocking escalation of already widespread police violence against pro-Palestinian voices. The most recent confirmed arrest of children involved the early June detention of a 7-year-old boy for allegedly hitting an officer’s helmet with his flag. In a witness statement shown to The New Arab (TNA), the boy's father said he had been carrying his son on his shoulders at a march when they suddenly found themselves surrounded by officers who lashed out at the crowd and then took the pair away to a police van. The police confirmed via email that a 7-year-old was arrested on suspicion of "assaulting" a police officer at the same protest in Berlin. Police told TNA that six children under the age of 16 were detained on June 8. In a video posted on social media, the child can be seen screaming in a state of extreme distress while he and his father are surrounded and grabbed by 11 officers in riot gear. The father says the child now experiences anxiety and needs psychological treatment because of the incident. In another incident on the same day, a 13-year-old was handcuffed and dragged away by officers using a controversial "pain grip" after making a rude hand gesture to a police officer. Berlin police have confirmed that a 13-year-old was detained "on suspicion of insult," which is a criminal offence under German law. A few weeks earlier, on May 29, an incident was reported where two adolescents were punched in the face several times by police officers at a house entrance in Sonnenallee street in Berlin. This incident of police violence was condemned by Amnesty International Germany, and urged an investigation into allegations of unlawful police actions.
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I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.
By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.
At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.
I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).
I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.
I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).
I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)
I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.
I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.
A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.
After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.
I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.
On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.
Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕
#tgirl swag#worm#mormon#lds church#church of jesus christ of latter day saints#boy scouts#Mormon mission#Mormon missionary#elder#the book of mormon#bisexual#transgender#trans stuff#trans pride#lgbt pride#bi pride#mental health#BYU#pets#my cat#cat#dumb cat#granny weatherwax#terry pratchett
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NSFW
A/N: another kofi request!
When you walked for a while through the thick forest near your home, you were able to find a meadow full of deer hybrids.
It was a secret place, one only a few human beings knew about. Among those humans was you, a young woman currently being courted by one of those feet hybrids.
“My dear!”
You felt arms wrap around your torso from behind, your neck being peppered in warm kisses as you were pulled close.
This was your current predicament. A few months ago you spotted a deer hybrid struggling in a trap meant for regular deer. You knew if the hunter found them he’d be taken to the city and sold as a pet, so you quickly used your pocket knife to cut him free.
The second he was out of his bonds, he nearly tackled you, rubbing and butting against your neck and nearly impaling you with his horns.
“Mate… my mate…”
And that’s how you ended up at the meadow again, visiting him. If you didn’t come once a week to see the fluffy thing, he’d try coming out of the woods and into your neighborhood.
Of course, that was dangerous. Between cars, hunters, and lots of people wanting a cute deer hybrid as a pet, the human world wasn’t safe.
You made a deal with him. Every weekend you’d come and spend time with him. The first time you proposed this deal to him, he leapt with joy, his fluffy tail wiggling super fast.
So today you brought your picnic basket, setting out a blanket and preparing the snacks as he waited patiently nearby. Sometimes he could be a bit shy after greeting you, quickly retreating behind other deer hybrids and peaking out at you with his big doe eyes.
The second you were done, he trotted back, letting out a happy whine when you patted your lap. He loved laying his head there.
His ears flicked, and he looked up at you through his lashes, batting them. Clearly, he was a whore for your attention.
You always knew the best spots to scratch and rub, always getting behind his ears and at the base of his antlers.
His tail wagged, and you couldn’t help but lift it slightly too look at his cute butt, making his head jerk up.
“Mate? You want to mate?”
The deer hybrid excitedly nuzzled against you, pushing you down on the blanket. He let out little grunts, his tail still going crazy behind him.
“N-not yet, not yet.”
He pouted, but quickly returned to relaxing in your lap, almost purring at every scratch and pet. You knew rutting season was soon by now antsy he had been to mate with you lately… and you were preparing yourself to help him.
The guy always wanted to be by your side, bringing you fresh berries and honey he collected. You were his mate, and he wanted to give you all the sweet things he could find!
And boy was he possessive! He would let out whines and grunts when other males approached, pointing his antlers at them and holding you close. It was just too cute!
For months you came and went, giving him the attention he needed while getting to relax and escape all the stress life had to give.
Curling up with him, playing with his soft puffy hair and watching him get all giddy and excited really calmed you down. His fluffy tail always wagged when you were around, wagging even harder when you scratched a good spot or gave him snuggles.
But his rut had finally come in full force, and you knew he needed you.
This time when you came to visit, he was alone, whimpering softly and pumping his cock. He seemed distressed, and you were quick to lower yourself by his side, your fingers gently glazing his swollen tip.
“Shh, shh… I’m here. It’ll be okay.”
He looked up at you through his thick lashes, sniffling. It seemed he had grown attached and reliant on you.
“Please…”
How could you say no to those big, warm doe eyes?
The second your fingers wrapped around his cock, he let out a moan, his hips bucking lightly. He needed his release, and your hand wouldn’t cut it soon enough.
He came quicker than expected, and soon he was mounting you.
The entire time he mated with you, he was more gentle than you’d think a buck in rut would be. He was constantly nuzzling into you, thrusting just hard enough to satisfy you, but not any harder.
When he came inside, his ears twitched and tail wagged, and he melted when you reached out to play with his ears while his cum shot into your womb.
After mating you, he was a happy little thing, making a sort of purring sound while he nuzzled his face against your neck.
Perhaps being mates with him wouldn’t be so bad after all…
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NSFW TAGLIST: @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko
#deer hybrid#deer hybrid smut#deer hybrid x reader#satyr#satyr smut#monster fucker#monster lover#monster fudger#monster boyfriend#monster fic#chubby!reader#chubby reader#terato#teratophillia#terat0philliac#teraphilia#exophelia#fat reader#plus size reader#monster fucking#monster oc#monster x you#monster x reader#monster x human#monster bf#monster breeding#monster fluff#fluff and smut#monster smut#monster imagine
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namesake mcmansion
Howdy folks! Today's McMansion is very special because a) we're returning to Maryland after a long time and b) because the street this McMansion is on is the same as my name. (It was not named after me.) Hence, it is my personal McMansion, which I guess is somewhat like when people used to by the name rights to stars even though it was pretty much a scam. (Shout out btw to my patron Andros who submitted this house to be roasted live on the McMansion Hell Patreon Livestream)
As far as namesake McMansions go, this one is pretty good in the sense that it is high up there on the ol' McMansion scale. Built in 2011, this psuedo-Georgian bad boy boasts 6 bedrooms and 9.5 baths, all totaling around 12,000 square feet. It'll run you 2.5 million which, safe to say, is exponentially larger than its namesake's net worth.
Now, 2011 was an anonymous year for home design, lingering in the dead period between the 2008 black hole and 2013 when the market started to actually, finally, steadily recover. As a result a lot of houses from this time basically look like 2000s McMansions but slightly less outrageous in order to quell recession-era shame.
I'm going to be so serious here and say that the crown molding in this room is a crime against architecture, a crime against what humankind is able to accomplish with mass produced millwork, and also a general affront to common sense. I hate it so much that the more I look at it the more angry I become and that's really not healthy for me so, moving on.
Actually, aside from the fake 2010s distressed polyester rug the rest of this room is literally, basically Windows 98 themed.
I feel like the era of massive, hefty sets of coordinated furniture are over. However, we're the one's actually missing out by not wanting this stuff because we will never see furniture made with real wood instead of various shades of MDF or particleboard ever again.
This is a top 10 on the scale of "least logical kitchen I've ever seen." It's as though the designers engineered this kitchen so that whoever's cooking has to take the most steps humanly possible.
Do you ever see a window configuration so obviously made up by window companies in the 1980s that you almost have to hand it to them? You're literally letting all that warmth from the fire just disappear. But whatever I guess it's fine since we basically just LARP fire now.
Feminism win because women's spaces are prioritized in a shared area or feminism loss because this is basically the bathroom vanity version of women be shopping? (It's the latter.)
I couldn't get to all of this house because there were literally over a hundred photos in the listing but there are so many spaces in here that are basically just half-empty voids, and if not that then actually, literally unfinished. It's giving recession. Anyway, now for the best part:
Not only is this the NBA Backrooms but it's also just a nonsensical basketball court. Tile floors? No lines? Just free balling in the void?
Oh, well I bet the rear exterior is totally normal.
Not to be all sincere about it but much like yours truly who has waited until the literal last second to post this McMansion, this house really is the epitome of hubris all around. Except the house's hubris is specific to this moment in time, a time when gas was like $2/gallon. It's climate hubris. It's a testimony to just how much energy the top 1% of income earners make compared to the rest of us. I have a single window unit. This house has four air conditioning condensers. That's before we get to the monoculture, pesticide-dependent lawn or the three car garage or the asphalt driveway or the roof that'll cost almost as much as the house to replace. We really did think it would all be endless. Oops.
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#architecture#design#mcmansion#mcmansions#ugly houses#interior design#mcmansion hell#bad architecture#2010s#maryland
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