#making sure that people know that this guy's insane. like actually unwell.

[thenamesapollo]

APOLLO!!!!!! DROP AN INFODUMP ABOUT YOUR NIGHTMARE....AND MY LIFE,,.,,IS YOURS...,..

OKAY ummm um um fucking um!!!

nightmare's one and only dream was to become an actor!

or at least, become whatever that mettaton guy is, cuz that guy always seems on top!!

he wants to be someone famous on tv!! someone everyone knows and watches (and that gets a lot of money)!!

he really wants to be on tv. in fact, 'tv' consumes almost his every thought, sometimes he acts like he genuinely believes he's being broadcasted when there's no cameras around.

and also, he actually did achieve his dream! ...sorta. it was such an awful experience that he doesn't want to be part of a set ever again........

he was treated so badly on set that in a sort of 'payback' response, he started seeing everything as a giant set and him as it's star.

(his castle having a giant star at it's top wasn't just for show.. hihi..)

being 'on the top' is all that matters to him, more than money, more than people. and he's willing to destroy life long friendships, a whole ass marriage, but also himself to get there.

fun factoid for u : nightmare has three exes that hate him ₍⁠₍⁠ ⁠◝⁠(⁠　ﾟ⁠∀⁠ ﾟ⁠ ⁠)⁠◟⁠ ⁠⁾⁠⁾

[inkbagel]

I drew a postcard for my show :) the concert was really amazing I had so much fun. Genuinely one of the best nights of my life.

Idk if people want to avoid spoilers so I’ll put my rants below.

It was so AWESMOEE I have so many thoughts on each and every songgg that was my first concert experience EVER and ohh man it was spectacular

Heathens was SO GOOD LIVE. Was genuinely my favorite part of the show and HEATHENS ISNT EVEN MY FAVORITE!!! like I don’t dislike any of their songs but I have a very long list of favorites and heathens is not in it. However that being said it was spectacular. I had the most fun during that song I think that song was actually made to be played live and not for suicide squad

The transition from heathens to next semester is so so good. I didn’t notice the similarities in those songs until they were back to back. I do really wish they had played all of next semester instead of like. Half the song but it’s okay the rest of the night made up for it

THEY PLAYED GUNS FOR HANDSSS THAT SKNG MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEEE AAAAAAA I almost started crying when I heard the tune it was so so good. That song genuinely like. Made me realize so many things about myself. I’m so glad I got to hear it live

THE TRANSITION. BETWEEN NATN AND HEAVYDIRTYSOUL. NOT EVEN INJECTING IT INTO MY BLOODSTREAM WOULD BE ENOUGH. THAT WAS SO GOOD. GHHSBFBJGKKC i got a recording im so happy

EVERYONE WAS SO NICE DURING TREES!! I saw so many clips from LA and it looked like hell for those two but everyone was really respectful here and Tyler even started picking people around the circle to stand closest to the islands and I thought that was so sweet

FOREST APPEARANCE??? IN 2024?????? I DIDNT THINK THEYD EVER ACKNOWLEDGE RAB AGAIN BUT THEY PLAYED FOREST!!! I’m glad forest has a lot of nostalgia for me

The thing with the lights in mulberry street was so cool. Honestly the whole show was so interactive he kept calling to specific parts of the stadium and had certain people doing certain things I loved it. Tyler really made sure that even the people wayyyy in the back were having fun and that the people in the pit were getting their moneys worth

After the proctologist line Tyler yelled GROSS!!!! Really loudly and I thought that was funny. He then said “you guys are wayy cooler than me. The only difference is I’m on a stage and you’re not you guys are better than me. Anyway we’re taking a photo losers.” I love him

JOSH SANG. LIKE SO MUCH. HE WAS SINGING DURING STRESSED OUT AND HE SANG BANDITO WHILE TYLER SANG PALADIN STRAIT. HES ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT SINGJNG TYLER SHOULD MAKE HIM SING MORE IN THEIR SONGS.

Right before the show started Josh said into the mic WHATS YOUR ETA? TWO MINUTES! And that was really cute

THE CRAVING BACK TO BACK WITH TEAR IN MY HEART I WAS GOING TO CRRYYYYYY AND SCREEAAMAMMMM AAAAA I LOVE THOSE TWO THEYRE SO CUTEEEEEEEBVBB

OVERCOMPENSATE LIVE. HFJSJSJJDK AKAKGKFKDKEJRJFJFJFJFJFJ THAT WAS SO GOODDD. I saw some clips from other shows where he jumped off his piano and caught the microphone mid air and while he didn’t do that here he def made up for it bc that performance was AMAZINGK.

I think he might’ve been feeling a little unwell or smth because he was definitely not as acrobatic as in clips from other nights BUT I DIDNT MIND! HE STILL DID AMAZING ANYWAY and honestly I could NOT be performing like that if I was sick so I think it’s more impressive if he’s actually not doing good. He’s actually insane

HIS GLOWING MICROPHONEEEE ITS SO SILLYYYY

HIS DISAPPEARING TRICK IN CAR RADIO WAS SO COOL. HE WAS KIND OF CLOSE TO WHERE I WAS SITTING AND. HNGNKSKSKF

During vignette he did grab the keyboard and play it on the floor again I’m like 90% certain he knows the fandom thinks he’s a catboy and plays into it. Bc sir. You are NOT beating the cat allegations. Get off the floor and play your keyboard standing up like a REAL MAN /silly I loved that part actually

I actually started crying when he played addict with a pen. It was so good. That song means so much to me.

I got a really good picture during stressed out which speaking of! THE SKELETON HORSE CAROUSEL?????? THAT WAS SO COOL IT WAS LIKE OUT OF A MAGNUS ARCHIVES STATEMENT WHAT DOES IT MEANN ITS SO COOOLLLLLLLLL

I have not put enough Josh Dun appreciation in this post and for that I am truly sorry Josh Dun you were amazing the whole night you were so energetic your backflip was the best part of the night you were awesome

I think I’ve said it before but everyone screaming “our brains are sick but that’s okay” was so surreal. Like wow I’m sitting in a stadium FULL of people and every single one of them treasures this band just as much as I do. Idk man there’s something so amazing about that. It really felt so amazing. I’ve never before felt like I was the same as a whole crowd of people. We’re all going through our own things but we’re all still here. We’re still alive and we’re still fighting. And tonight we’re fighting together. I loved it

Midwest indigo <3 that song was MADE to be played live I got chills it was so good

This post is getting kind of long and I’m tired so I’m ending it with this picture of Clancy with the glowing microphone I drew :) as a first time concert experience the Clancy world tour was life changing and I am never going to be the same person I was before the concert

[maximumprime]

I hate when SOME!!! alien stage fans take the characters and just treat them like one dimensional characters and water them down specifically ivan and till I'm specifically talking about them because when someone says ivan they are never talking about just ivan they are talking about ivan and till when someone talks about till it's not just till alone it's ivan and till they don't think of the characters as their own characters they think of them as a pair but they really. arent. one is in love with a lesbian and the other is dead guys I don't think these two are a pair they aren't a pair they were never a pair I'm so tired of people seeing till or ivan and somehow mention the other with it it's never them as a character or them by themselves and they act like till is in love with ivan as well like "omg boyfriends they love each other sooo much!!!" I'm sure ivan loves him but till loves a lesbian and thinks that lesbian could be

DEAD and till is currently depressed as hell not even just because mizis missing and or dead to him because he has been dehumanized and abused his whole life and he's finally given up and some alien stage fans are like "uhhmmm he's literally fine he's just having a bad day" when he's literally being treated like an experiment and has been treated like an experiment his whole life and they act like he just stubbed his toe and it hurt for an hour why do people have to water down characters so badly just to understand them and it's always "oh we should have more unwell mentally ill characters" YOU COULDN'T EVEN HANDLE TILL literally watered him down to just guy who likes to fight people and beat people up and is somehow gay where did you get that from he literally sang a song about a girl and how much he loves her in the song that introduced him and it's so obvious that certain people only watched round 6 because it's always "omg ivantill!!! oh and the brown haired girl I guess. oh and the black haired girl that loves pink haired girl the uhh lesbians!! wait there was a blonde one" this is not an exaggeration I've seen people say this how do you manage to not remember their names the series started with said black haired girl in love with the pink haired girl what are you talking about dude how do you forget HYUNA. shes like the coolest one there there was how many videos had shown mizi. ALL OF THEM. and youre like "uhhh the pink one?? I think???? Whats a clematis and why is it yours" she was literally shown through like the whole thing what do you mean "oh I forgot her name" how did you go through the entire thing without learning their names. The series literally started off with lesbians the whole channel started with lesbians and youre focused on the one mlm ship that they made like I'm not mad that they've gotten more fans that means that they get more money and the videos are coming out faster I'm not mad about that I'm jolly more fanart more videos more popularity more everything but you guys are focused on just two guys kissing that's what you care about if you look up alien stage on YouTube the amount of thumbnails of them kissing is crazy and if they aren't kissing its almost all just ivantill this is crazy. obsurd. insane. cant take this no more guys I wish people understood characters and actually payed attention to not just two guys kissing its not even two guys kissing its one kissing the other and the other one confused as shit and pushing him away I wish people payed attention to the entirety of everyone there and understood how they act instead of just taking two guys and playing with them like dolls not even the good kind of playing with dolls the ones that make up shit on the spot you take till and you say "Ivan is your boyfriend and you are going to LIKE IT." that's how you sound when people act like he isn't in love with mizi he wrote a whole song about it guys it's in the lyrics guys you know unknown till the end that song wasn't about Ivan if you guys were a liiittle confused hes talking about mizi guys he's in love with mizi. I'm gonna end this because this is really long and I started speaking nonsense hit that subscribe button and hit the bell and don't forget to like the video and leave a comment down below I love you guys and peace ouuutt

[cowchickenbeefpork]

tbh I think Gotham Ed would’ve worked better if the writers portrayed him as more so driven by proving that he’s smart than driven by a actual search for knowledge deep down. I know i know a lot of riddlers are that but he just. Doesn’t read like that to me??????????? This isn’t me saying the writers shouldn’t make him smart, but if your going to write him count as insane then incorporate the need to fucking prove how smart he is when he’s doing that shit?????? Why are you making him do illogical actions that don’t tie into that like yeah you don’t have to make it make sense logical he is insane when he gets into those moods BUT OH MY GOD KEEP HIS LOGIC CONSISTENT GUYS

I feel like if they were consistent about him needing to prove he’s smart and justifying irrational behaviour by some bullshit he’s convincing himself he’s doing then his relationships with others romantically or whatever would make more sense too. Why is the man who thinks love is a weakness not bothered deep down by how intimidate he’s getting???? Show that to me Gotham MAKE HIM GIVE A HALF ASSED PSEUDO LOGICAL REASON FOR DATING ISABELLA MAKE HIM START OUT BEING MENTALLY SOUND IN SEASON THREE DUE TO BEING ON MEDS AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY LOSE IT AND BECOME MORE INSECURE BECAUSE OF HOW OTHERS VIEW HIM!!!!!!!! GOTHAM WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

It’s not even like the writers never made him ever do insane shit and then try to rationalize and make it logical. He literally thought Jim knew he killed Kristen and planned out a fucking eloberate plot to frame Jim WHICH RATTED HIMSELF OUT FROM HIS ATTEMPTS TO PROVE HOW SMART HE IS GOTHAM IS CAPABLE OF WRITING EDWARD BEING SO SCARED OF BEING WEAK AND DUMB HE DOES STUPID SHIT I DONT GET WHY THEYRE SO INCONSISTENT WITH THIS OUGHHHH MENTALLY UNWELL PEOPLE DONT DO RANDOM SHIT JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE A INTERNAL LOGIC TO THEIR ACTIONS EVEN IF ITS FLAWS GOTHAM STOP DOING THIS TO MEEEEEE

[prettyboykatsuki]

cockwarming sae….. he’s not reciprocating any skinship at first as you guys sit and watch the movie, and he looks incredibly disinterested anyways so you slyly bring it up, half expecting him to say no. you’re surprised when he glances down at you in his lap and lets out a (still seemingly uninterested) “sure”. pouting a little, you slide yourself on, grabbing at his hands so that they finally actually rest on you. you clench and sigh quietly as he enters, but what you don’t see, facing the tv screen, is how sae’s eyes roll back a little and his eyelids flutter as he tries to keep in his reaction. you settle in, relaxing as time goes on. sae however feels all of it — your back against his chest, your thighs in his palms, the warmth of you around his dick. and he knows you’re sleepy and you’re adorable and he wants to keep feigning this coolness he always does but he’s trying so hard to keep his hips still underneath you and his last remaining nerves are starting to fray… it’s you right? so would it really hurt if sae let just a bit of his composure go?

(im sorry i have the prettiest picture of sae on my phone rn and i look at it at least every hour so understandably i am incredibly unwell about this man and seeing any post about him makes me certifiably insane and i have to deep breathe or i get like this)

anon i want to gatekeep this ask so bad you people are so lucky im sharing it because when i tell you this was driving me fucking crazy all day im not kidding like im sick i feel like im going to implode actually im going to collapse. it made me feel like an anvil fell on my head like i cant. like im going to scream.

like. KJFDDBSKFCLSFDKJDBHSJKF. sorry. the idea of you just kind of being cozy?? because you're used to the sensation and you love sae that you find yourself like restful and relaxed and HE'S the one losing it??? he's the one fucking squirming and huffing and thinking about stopping whatever stupid game and thrusting up into your tight, wet cunt just because he can?? his hand squeezing your thighs inreasingly hard until you can practically feel BRUISE forming like.

he always plays unaffected to tease you but he hasn't seen you in my months and he actually did miss you. and he missed this!!!!!! he missed how good you felt and how pretty you sigh and he doesn't remember what movie you're even watching because how could he? how could you even focus?

like. dfjgfdkjsffdgbkd

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Top 10 18 Most Hated NonDD Roles

Aka the ‘Fuck You, _____!’ list lol these aren't in order other than alphabetical by movie/show this time since that's a lotta hate, but oh boy almost changed my mind a couple times. Now, everyone knows I love DD characters, especially now that I've finished my love list, but what about everyone else around him? Sometimes I like them, sometimes I'm indifferent, sometimes they gotta kill him and I understand that cause he's a hot villain, but sometimes they just straight up treat him bad in ways I don't like or are so awful that I genuinely hate them, so let's take a look at some pure negativity today lmao

Just to state first that even though I'm very salty in this it's still all for fun, even if I have Some Opinions on all the people below 😖

James and José - 12 Monkeys

This is a tiny fuck you cause I get it, but the man was very unwell, like very very very unwell, this is mostly just me excusing murder because hot man but he was doing it to save time itself or something, doesn't that count for anything? Get him some help and then stop the bad guys and fix time, they should be your actual priority, guys.

Everyone who was ever mean to Simon - Almost Human

I'm just a broken record at this point, everyone knows how I feel about Simon, I'm scooping him up and punching all of them in the face and then we're gunna get fries and watch TV together.

Everyone in AVGN: The Movie

I've seen YouTuber movies before, there's usually something that makes me laugh even if it's still that special type of cringe. This movie just sucks. It's bad. It's sososososo bad. The only part that made me laugh was DD's quick bit because he sells every role he's in and I love him. I'm so glad I never have to see this one again, this one's a fuck you to them for just… not making an entertaining movie :/

Cass' family and Dwayne - Cass

Yeah yeah I know they're kids and that they're lonely and dealing with it in bad ways, but my God. She has zero self-preservation (he had such good points about her following him like????) and it's frustrating, and when she went to take that selfie I became so anxious over what her giving it to him would bring that it made me actually sick. Her brother is straight awful, I felt bad at first cause clearly he only has the two friends, but he wasn't just allowing things to happen he was right there being a genuine shit to that homeless couple that it made me mad. The dad I can't fault because he's just looking out for his daughter, so he gets a pass, but fuck Dwayne in particular for stealing his paintings, pissing on everything else, and then nearly getting Joshua to basically kill himself. Old man yells at clouds but it's me yelling at these kids, fuck them I'm taking care of Joshua now. 

Literally everyone else in Cora

The Vampire is the only redeeming quality of this short and even then he still falls prey ;w; Cora herself is okay, her dad is good, but her mom sucks and those teens at the camp really suck, the cringe dialogue really gets me yeesh. I feel like their entire scene could've been shortened or at least written in a way that didn't make my entire body shrivel up when the guys spoke. Fuck all of them for making me cringe when I'm trying to enjoy those double fangs, I’m so petty I’m glad all of them got got.

Jerome - Gotham

His energy is great. I'm still not sure if he actually is the Joker or if I'm insane and it was a red herring cause I saw comments? But he nailed the Dark Knight energy of the Joker even if he's not, don't spoil, I will watch someday I swear. Anyway fuck him though for killing Dwight in the most Joker way possible, yeah he took his face but he also brought him back to life so c’mon man just forgive him already and banish him, I've got room for him in my bed it all works out.

Olga and Svea - Last Seen Wearing

I don't really hate them, but I really like David Porter and the fact that he brought flowers and they still ate him after all he went through to find them. I'm gunna find him at the club and take him to a different party, in fact I'll become a model and help him write a better story and they can eat some other people instead, this tired party boy is mine now.

The Grove - Light Night With the Devil

Yes, fuck the entire Grove. If he didn't get tangled up with them then everything would be fine. He might never be #1 on the charts but he'll always be #1 in our hearts, and Minnie would still be there for him too, so yeah fuck the whole Grove, I want my Night Owl to be happy.

Amber - MacGyver 2016

This one is quick and obvious but like fuck her for using him to start, but using his son as well? What a bitch, I'm not gunna be Cassian’s stepmom I'm gunna be his mom who stepped up.

The Woman - Making Love

This is totally me projecting here, but fuck her. Anyone who's okay with cheating and jerking around the both of them is genuinely hated in my book, both as someone who's been jerked around and someone who's watched someone very dear to me be jerked around while she was in so much pain. This is a real hate, there's nothing jokey about it this time, he deserves better no matter how beautiful she is. No one deserves to go through what he's going through, even though he's not blameless for pursuing her. I wasn’t, and neither was my friend. This one gets me personally, so fuck her.

Detective Loki - Prisoners

I think this guy might be The Most Hated NonDD Role ever. The amount of people I know who hate this guy for what he did to Bob is astounding and I was really hoping he'd find the real guy and save the girls until he did what he did. This guy sucks, he hurt my most precious boy, I'm glad he saved the one girl but he needs a swift kick to the nuts as my dad would say, fuck you Loki, I’ll be taking your badge now, no retirement, no pension.

The entirety of Ray Donovan

I've been putting away DVDs of this show at work for years but I've never seen anything from it until I watched DD's ep. It was so bad I quit the rest of the video after his scene. This one was actual torture to sit through up until that point, I had to see old man sex that I did not want, the camera was on Donovan most of the time while DD spoke, this one is another personal fuck you for giving me a bad time, that show and everyone else in it sucks. (No offense to anyone who may be following me who likes it but it wasn't for me)

The Bullies - Teacher

I hate bullies. I can't stand them. The only exception is Cam and that's only because he's hot and I want him to bully me. In highschool I was always too invisible to be bullied, but those few times where I was seen? Where my seat on the bus was being kicked because it was hot and I opened the window? Where someone came after me cause I was protecting my friend from her bitchiness? Where I was given a fake love confession by a friend of my crush, only to hear him whisper to my crush that I wasn't reading it so I knew it was his idea? I fucking hate bullies. Fuck Tim and his friends for everything they did to Preston and Daniela. Fuck his dad for what he said and did to James as well as his own son even though I’m mad at him. Fuck everyone who wasn't on his side while everything actively got worse and made him spiral. But especially, fuck Arabella for looking at him that way. Like I said in my other list, she would cringe directly to his face whenever he said something she didn't like, which is so fucking rude??? Even when she accepted his dates and she was supposed to be on his side she was still cringing at him; if I was on a date with someone and said something dumb and I looked up and saw that I'd cry and never talk to them again. If she wasn't interested she could’ve just turned him down, he's a nice guy, he would've understood even if it made him sadder, it would've been better than her treating him that way and then storming out on him after he was humiliated in front of her. I hate the bullies, but she was the worst because she wasn't even supposed to be a bully, she just treated him cruelly while trying to be kind.

Dany Wilkins - The Belko Experiment

Okay for this one I'm just petty. He was freaking out and she made it worse, I may just be spouting nonsense here cause I'm clouded by the Power of Love, but if that were me I would've tried to actually calm him, cause her running did not help. It'd be scary as hell, but if I worked there he'd already know me so I wouldn't leave his side. I maybe kinda cheered when she finally died after surviving for so long, this one makes me petty.

The Boogeyman

Great monster design, hated every second he was around, but also fuck this guy for making such a sweet dad so miserable before getting him. I am once again swearing I will save him and make him happy.

Everyone else in The Employer

I just genuinely hate those guys. Their characters sucked and watching them was insufferable. James was the only redeeming quality and I mean that, way to write everyone as the most unlikable people on the planet, which I guess was the point, but they can be unlikeable and still be enjoyable, y’know, that is a possible combination that makes for a better movie.

Fuerza - The Flash

I just straight up hate this thing for killing him in one swipe. It was cheap, it was bad writing, it left me so annoyed after all the great buildup with his family and him working those eyes and stealing my heart. What the actual hell, why couldn't that have been saved for the next episode, why couldn't he have least been injured but ultimately okay, this one just frustrates me. I’m going to the future to warn him and we’re gunna start a family together, that’s another Ray Guarantee and this one’s all for me.

Dracula - The Last Voyage of the Demeter

Yes, I'm giving a fuck you to Dracula himself. This guy made everyone excited for some good bonus pay fun times, then ate half of them, made him shoot his crewmate, made him cry which is instantly illegal, made him fall like 40 feet where he bumped his head and broke his leg, made him try and sink the ship he called him, and then killed him. By the time he fell I was ready to get up and jump into the movie right there in the theater. The only way Dracula can redeem himself is if Hollywood lets DD play him, otherwise fuck Dracula,  friendship ended with him, now Dr Fearless is my best friend.

Honorable mentions

A super special fuck you to James Gunn and Hulu specifically for giving me the greatest loves of my life and then taking them away from me. I'm going to buy their licensing rights from you and bring them back, I miss Abner and Johnson every single day, life is unfair, this sucks, what the hell.

[canadian-pug-cartel]

tosses the ticking time bomb on your end, ok electro for the ask thing, or uh shocker

FUCK (will wood reference) <- so excited actually

How I feel about this character: the amount of emotions I have for this guy are so visceral it hurts me genuinely like the way this guy acts and behaves is so…. he has that tboy swag, punk flair, with a hit of identity issues?? delicious he’s just like me fr

All the people I ship this character with romantically: we all know im a Electroshocker fan first and foremost (volt when I catch you volt) the pinning these two have for each other is so crazy to me (shocker is so head over heels it’s INSANE genuinely he’s obsessed with THIS GUY?????) shocker genuinely being so sick in love with this guy he’s drowning <- crazy. Another ship I actually enjoy (but especially when shocker is still pinning rubbing it in his face unknowingly) electro and Eddie (and by extension venom) just love the idea of Eddie falling for this neurotic punk (ESPECIALLY after electro runs away from doc and hates them cause we all know that’s coming)

Non romantic OTP I have for this character: sandman and rhino even though most of the six treat him like absolute trash (looking at you doc, vulture, that lion guy I forgor his name) but they wouldn’t treat him so terribly sure they have their grievances with him (being made of electricity and unable to chose who he shocks at any given time kinda does that) but both rhino and sandman are street smart enough and connected enough to know his type, the guy just looking to fit in and find community and them genuinely finding him funny is a plus (I will go more into that I swear)

My unpopular opinion about this character: he is genuinely unwell (and this is a problem with all characters who act irrational or have mood swings (looking at you jervis)) him getting woobafyed and babied by so many fans making him an uwu twink is completely glossing over the most interesting part of his character his actual genuine emotions and mental state are often sidelined even writing off his flaws (his temper, the fact he’s a jerk, his mental and emotional instability) I could get so fired up about the infantilization of neurodivergent or mentally ill characters and electro is a great example of this

Things I wish would happen to this character: EVERYTHING NEED HIM AT HIS LIMIT WITH DOC i especially need him to break away from doc and show some of that resentment and hatred toward him doc using him as a stepping stone and using him as a means to an end is just a ticking time bomb need to watch him go off on doc and throw him across the room the vengeance and the need for his life back need to watch him lose himself and slip into insanity (preferably at the same time that he goes off on doc) need hayloft part 2 to play as he slowly approaches doc cold hatred in his eyes and the fear in doc, god the fear he has for electro when he’s not annoyed by him he’s scared of what he can do all that energy and pent up emotion targeted onto him? Terrified. Need that so bad

[seijorhi]

👁️👄👁️

I'm alive, sorry I fell off the face of the earth for a few days there (I was unwell - new anxiety meds and all that jazz)

BUT!! I have much to say, both about your new fic and obviously one of the older ones, so here's an extremely belated / extended ART&RCSW <33

Firstly, Maelstrom was incredible, it changed the way I live my life

I don't even watch Trigun Stampede but good lord did you get me hooked on the characters - not to mention, a good poly fic is always the way to my heart

The twist of the secret bastard brothers?? Incredible. Delicious. Amazing. And the not so subtle hatred they have for their father?? The fact that the only good thing to come from him was their darling sister?? My gosh, you've got me wrapped around your finger Rhi

Though I must admit, the whole reveal and the part where reader is being lead to the throne room gave me anxiety - you always manage to surprise me with the way you set things up, and I mean that in the best way possible

I can't say anything about the characterisation of Vash and Knives because I don't watch the show, but I imagine that as with everyone else, you've done an amazing job

Also the sense of hopelessness at the end?? Because like, there's literally no escape - the best type of ending in my professional opinion

Next up on the agenda, we have a fic (series??) that I know you're not particularly fond of, but I absolutely love

Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you, your Hawks / Dabi soulmate fic - it has me in a fucking chokehold

It's literally everything I love in a fic - soulmates, poly relationship, yandere, it's just amazing

The slight sprinkle of angst kinda feels like a punch to the gut, but in a satisfying way - not to mention, the fact that Natsuo still keeps in touch with the reader even though they don't really have a connection aside from Touya kills me, he's so sweet

And poor Keigo (he's insane but I do not care <33)

The way my stomach drops when the reader realises that she has another soulmate will never not be a great feeling, but the way she knows instinctively that something is missing because Dabi isn't there really is painful

Like I said, I know you've said you don't really like the series, but I'm here to reassure you, I loved it, so rest assured, the hard work didn't go down the drain <33

I'm also really sorry for disappearing for like two or three weeks :// But I'm back now (??)

Anyway, I hope you've been well, drinking water and sleeping and whatnot <33

See you next week Rhi (I hope??) Lol :))

BBY I MISSED YOU <33

i hope ur doing okay, i am sending you all the forehead smooches and love!!

ahh but this ask is so nice!! honestly i was so worried about posting maelstrom cuz it's a new fandom for both me and sort of in general – i know the manga and old anime have been around for a while, but for most people it's new – and i wasn't sure if people were actually going to read it

turns out you did anyway, not knowing any of the characters vhgfjdksjdhfjdks it's always such a huge compliment when that happens. it's actually how i found my way first to bnha and then to haikyuu so, yeah, it makes me happy to see it's the same for you guys

as for through the cold... hoo boy. i did have big plans for that one, and every month or so there's a part of me that wants to either delete part 2 and start again, or delete the entire thing and start again, with better execution this time. i may not be as in love with bnha as i used to be, but hawks and touya, and that particular storyline (i am if nothing else a sucker from the soulmate trope gone wrong)

but also... the part i hate about series, and one of my biggest gripes as a writer is when there's a demand for part 2's and 3's but then it's crickets in the notes. part 2 kinda flopped and idk if it was because it wasn't great or if people just couldn't be bothered to leave a response, so while i do occasionally have the motivation to continue it i don't know if it's actually worth while or if anyone (aside from you haha) would be into it. but then i think about all that delicious angst and keigo and touya being jealous assholes and... hmmmm.... vghfjdkjhvfjdks

in any case, i'm glad you liked it and it was very sweet of you to send this ask and i adore you.

also, pls take care of yourself, and don't apologise for taking the time you need. i, of course, live for these asks and seeing you in my notes, but it's never a necessity. your mental/physical health always comes first <33

[squeakheart]

what's Bebe's dynamic with the Blackbeard crew like? Obviously you ship her with Blackbeard but is she also shipped with the others?

ok insane rambling and some nsft soooo .. this post is going under the cut but

i mainly ship her with blackbeard buuut .. i feel like a lotta casual sex goes on in that crew so stuff w the others inevitably just happens lol? never planned to make bebe polyamorous bc i am very much not polyamorous irl but it just sorta started making sense once i started making bebe less of 'me' and more of her own character

bebe and blackbeard have a little lovey dovey thing going on bc i really like the gap moe of a big scary guy like him having a soft spot for my little mouse ^_^ not that hes not also rough and dominant with her too but. yknow. they have a special bond bc when they first meet he says some stuff that makes a big impact on her aaaand she baked him a real nice cherry pie so hes totally ride or die for her lol. i dont feel like retyping my whole ass backstory so heres bebe wiki screenshots

needless to say. important to her.

slightly less going on with the others but i would say yeah i still ship her with them

burgess and her sleep together for SURE bc um. hes hot as fuck. his huge muscles and confident charisma have captivated her .. hes an irresistable guy. i think her dynamic with him is more playful than her dynamic w teach and theres a lot of likeee him tossing her in the air and chasing her and pinning her down 🥰🥵 shes a weak little mousey but she really enjoys it

doc q and bebe are like genuine bffs bc theyre both sick forever .. chronic illness solidarity. their dynamic hovers somewhere between "platonic" and "holding each others cocks while they pee" its a special bond. they definately fuck nasty style but only when theyre not both too unwell lmao. bebe/doc started out genuinely just platonic but every day i realise more and more how fucking handsome he is so uh. call me in a week and ill probably tell you shes in love with him

van augur .. hm .. yknow i dont actually think about him and bebe that much bc i know a couple of people who ship their ocs with him already and their ocs usually spring to mind for augur before bebe! a lotta the stuff i have for her and augur is just her teasing him for being a big nerd hehe .. but sitting down and thinking about it .. sure. bebe and augur can kiss with tongue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if i do think about bebe/augur i usually think about my husbands transfem augur AU bc something about augur with tit growth does it for me lol

laffitte and bebe are mainly like. gossipy brunch friends who meet up for coffee and make fun of everyone else lol. also passive agressive to each other constantly. hes my least fav so they probably have the least romantic tension out of the original crew. something sexual going on tho. i think laffitte gets a little jealous of anyone who's close to blackbeard and they have weird sex about it where laffitte makes sure to let bebe uhm. know her place on the crew. hes taking his "chief of staff" position very seriously i guess

i have some stuff brewing for the later additions to the crew too but our household rewatch is only just up to impel down so i want to let myself mull them over more before i commit to any dynamics hehe

thanks for reading if u read this far. take this post timeskip bebe from my sketchpad as some kinda reward

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

I saw the impersonate you invitation and I'm not very good at impersonations, but I will tell you what I think you are like based on your blog!

First of all you love Lucy from Fairytale, and have a lot of fun playfully obsessing over her.

I say playful, because you have a suprisingly nuanced understanding of the characters that you like. You dont just take the text (or whatever medium you are engaging with) at face value, you think through what is happening and what it means. You have excelent literary analysis skills.

I think you are probably pretty blunt and opinionated, but you are not mean or unkind. You care deeply for the people around you and put a lot of effort into understanding them.

You may lean towards pessimism sometimes, but you have a sarcastic sense of humor which can make it seem like you are more pessimistic than you really are.

You are very enthusiastic about the beautiful parts of the world, and delight in happy suprises.

I have no idea why, but you feel like somebody who thinks marine biology is cool af.

How did I do? Did I get anything right?

oh my god I love this alskfjsjf

first of all: sorry this took me a hot second to answer 😅

second: hey how does it feel to cut out a piece of my soul only to serve it to me on a silver platter?

gonna go more in depth with each one under the cut (bc I love talking about myself lol) but if you don't have the nerves for that ATM let it be known that you've got me clocked my guy. if I have to describe myself in a job interview I'm gonna ring up beloved tumblr anon to do it for me 🫡 💕

most inaccurate is probably that I'm actually not sure whether I'd call myself an optimist or pessimist (though I do know that I make an effort to be outwardly more optimistic than I actually feel) and while I do absolutely adore the ocean I'm not sure I'd say that I'm particularly interested in marine biology specifically. it's one of those things I keep telling myself I want to do more research on but I never actually do it, so like, theoretically yes but not in practice? does this make sense?

1. id say lucy heartfilia lives rent-free in my head but it would probably be more accurate to say that I feed her scraps of brain matter and heart tissue and devotion in hopes she deems my soul a worthy resting place (<- look how normal I am about her!)

FT was not only my longest obsession ever to date but also my first after moving countries, so being unwell about Lucy again feels weirdly nostalgic in a way?

2. oh yeah I do adore analysing texts and characters and devices and stuff. which is also why I adore wuthering heights lol (cycles and parallels and tragedies my beloved). I don't really know how to read WITHOUT doing this tbh? like of course there is a difference when I am actively engaging with it but sometimes I'll say something that seems pretty obvious to me and then people will be like "this is a great analysis!" lol

(also not to brag but I've been told more than once that I often approach narratives and symbolism from an angle that others haven't considered before 😏)

I actually started studying literature, but for various reasons (which include not being able to deal with a bunch of people clacking on their laptops at the same time the sound was literally driving me insane does anyone have any tips on how to deal with that) I stopped going after like a month

tho id say my favorite thing to analyze is actualy theater plays? especially because of the added element of speech (it feels unfair to judge an audiobook by this metric since books were primarily written to be read but theater is literally made to be spoken aloud and thus it is the authors duty to also think about the cadences of the words and what the different sounds feel like instead of just focusing on how it looks like on paper imo) and visuals

whenever I go with a friend (I need to go with someone so I can talk about it) I'll first ask them what they thought so I can gather my thoughts and kinda compare and then I won't shut up until we have to go out separate ways lol

3. which is a great way to get into the third point: I do have opinions about everything! (unless I don't have a lot of information on the topic in question). I always keep myself open for counter arguments (my biggest fear is becoming one of those obnoxious stubborn ignorant people who are proud of being stuck in their ways and categorically refuse to even consider other viewpoints and opinions) but unless this is about something factual where you have more experience/facts than me it's actually pretty hard to convince me.

because while I love sharing my opinions to everyone that'll listen, im Not a fan of confrontations? I tire of them pretty quickly so depending on whether you pass my vibe check I will either be honest (hey yo agree to disagree can we change topics) or pretend to agree just so we can move on without anyone getting prissy lmao

4. and yes I do try to always be kind to people! dni if you don't make an effort to wish the bus driver a good day tbh. I have this need to be acknowledged and remembered by strangers and also feel really bad whenever im mean to people so my compromise is to try to always be friendly while wearing bright hair and clothes lol

I think I also have a pretty approachable aura? I'm often asked for directions and stuff (which is always a shame for the people asking because i am lostTM)

5. okay so. this is actually a fun exercise to do. because characters in books need to be fairly simple at their core (so the author can write them consistently) while creating the illusion of being complex and layered - and you can kind of do the same thing to real people!

in my mind that makes me a bad shittalker because I'll be actively doing this while you are trying to tell me about something shitty someone else did to you. I'll try to look at it from various angles (at least within the realm of the possible when going solely by a very biased POV) which often comes across as defending them? but I think this is a rather unpopular opinion since I can't count the times I've heard "I know you don't like to shittalk people, but-" as a conversation starter lol

6. I am! a sarcastic shit! I can clearly tell the difference between my sarcasm and my serious voice, but people say that it sounds the same to them (which just makes it more fun tbh lol) tho I think that's only fair considering I often have a hard time telling when other ppl are being serious vs not

7. idk where I am on the optimism pessimism scale tbh. when I was small I figured out this neat magic trick where if u pretend to have really low expectations things seem even cooler than they actually are. it makes sense (expectations and everyone is master of their own reality and contrast etc etc) but back then I genuinely thought I had unravelled the fabric of the universe lol

so like. I'll always be kinda expecting the worst while at the same time not quite believing it? so I'm not disappointed when the "worst" does indeed happen but am also not actively psyching myself out? idk the only gymnastics I'm good at are the mental ones

long story short anon I hope I don't come off too strong but I think I am in love with you <3

[carolmunson]

HERE WE FUCKING GOOOOO:

Time stretches like a rubber band, lengthening each moment. People in uniforms hurry past, paying you no attention as you call out his name. The smell of damp earth mixes with the acrid scent of diesel from the idling vehicles. Bright lights from inside the house spill out into the dark from the open front door.

Jelly this is so gorgeously written, I can literally see and smell it.

Frightened doe eyes peer back from a pale face tinged with blue. Sitting in the back of the ambulance, he looks much smaller, like the world has pressed its full weight down on him. The gray blanket covering his shoulder doesn’t protect him from the shattering of the only life he knows. 

MY BABY.

“I’ll do the brioche french toast with the salted caramel and bananas. And extra whipped cream, please. Oh, and a side of sausage links.” “What?” Robin asks after the waiter has left. “I’m hungry.”

The smile across my face right now, God. Your characterization is insane.

“Yoga actually wasn’t that hot this morning,” Robin admits, biting her lip, reaching for the creamer pitcher at the center of the Formica table.

I AM HERE FOR SLUT ROBIN.

“I know.” You pick at your eggs. It’s moments like this that make it clear they’ll always be Steve’s friends first. 

Oof, fuck. Yikes.

“Because then it wouldn’t have been a surprise,” Nancy tells her, “You’ve never been able to keep a secret.” “But you’re very pretty,” you chuckle, diffusing the situation. “Thank you. I am,” she responds, swirling her last bite in caramel before popping it into her mouth.

Jelly, the dialogue between the three of them is so smooth and real. This is like, how me and my friends talk to each other. It's so seamless. Again, I feel like I'm sitting at the table with them.

“Whoa. Careful, doll,” he says, surprise lacing his tone.

FUCK OFF.

“Doll-” Keeping your pace purposeful, you push past people heading in the opposite direction, feigning deafness to his voice amidst the sound of traffic. “Doll, just wait,” his hand brushes your elbow, but you spin before he can secure a grip. “Jesus. Will you give me a minute,” he mutters, frustration etching lines on his forehead as he rakes his hand through his hair.

I WILL GIVE HIM SEVERAL MINUTES. HE CAN HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE. I LOVE HIM.

You nod, turning in the direction of your car, leaving him standing on the sidewalk to watch you walk away, the city filling the space between you.

I am ripping my fucking hair out.

"Damn.” He pauses with his coffee cup suspended halfway to his mouth, eyes roaming up and down your body. ‘Someone’s a lucky guy.”

Do not fucking do this to me rn.

“Just an hour,” he reiterates, “Then I’m taking you to dinner alone. And we’ll go home for dessert,” he promises as his lips find their way to your neck.

I am conflicted on my affections and deeply unwell.

“Yeah, I know.” You glance at him, offering a warm smile. "But I wanted to run through my outline for the series with him so he can be fully prepared,” you explain, pulling your phone from your pocket and opening your email.

Liar! You lie!

“I think he bought it,” Jonathan says, coming up beside you, weighted down with bags full of equipment.

Nothing I am thinking right now is in the bible.

Standing in the room’s center, you take a slow spin before locking your gaze with Eddie’s. “What a dump.” A deep furrow appears on Eddie’s forehead as his lips press into a disapproving line. 

OMG READER (ME), DON'T BE MEAN TO HIM!

Eddie waits for Jonathan to wander back into the hall before he crosses the room in three big strides, stopping directly in front of you, closer than what would be considered polite. But this is Eddie, and it’s all part of the game. Your hands move to your hips as you straighten in defiance. The scent of mint on his breath reaches your nose as his index finger barely brushes your skin as he lifts the gold circle and bar necklace that rests at your throat.  "Harrington’s money has sure got you spoiled, princess,” he mocks, giving it a light tug, causing the anchor end of the chain to rise up the valley of your breasts. When your eyes flash, his lips pull to the side, twisting in a smirk. 

DO NOT. FUCKING. LOOK. AT. ME.

He settles next to you, spreading his legs wide and crossing one over his knee, his arm landing on the top of the cushions behind you. He’s sitting too close, the heat of his thigh pressing against yours, the spice of his cologne surrounding you. Close enough to see the light stubble on his jaw as he swallows. You shift forward to the edge of your seat, creating some space between you. “You can’t even sit next to me anymore?” He asks, his tone a mix of disappointment and irritation. 

-feral animal squealing and snarling in the distance-

“My god, you’re like a little kid.” Switching the phone to your opposite hand, you hold it at arm’s length, “Haven’t you grown up at all?” His lips turn up until his dimples are on full display. “Why would I want to go and do a thing like that? 

I'm truly aching.

“I’ve read everything you’ve written,” he prattles on as you cross your arms over your chest, your fingernails leaving half moons in the fabric of your jacket.  “I buy a subscription to Stax every year. I get Wayne one, too. Do you know he saves every–” “Stop, Eddie,” you say, cutting him off. “You don’t need to do this.” “Do what?” He asks, his brows sinking. “This.” You wave your hand between you. “Whatever this is. I’m going to write a good story. You’re getting what you want.” “What I want?” He looks surprised. “You think this is about the article?”

no no no no no fuck fuck fuck, jelly i am gonna kick your fucking ASSSSSSfnrjgotgndkmgfnd

You narrow your eyes, inspecting Eddie as he gets into position.“Did you cut your hair again?” “I’m a thirty-two-year-old man. Sometimes I do that,” he responds, scratching at his beard. “Tip your chin to the right,” Jonathan instructs from behind the camera, the shutter clicking in short bursts. “Well, it looks stupid.”

lma she's so fucking MEEEEE. (i cannot wait for him to plow us)

“Is it?” he asks, his eyes locking onto yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “All I see is you.”

stop. doing this. to me.

“Steve, the house is going to be a museum to her ex-girlfriends. We’ll be able to give guided tours.”

LMAOOOOO AHAHAHAHAHA

You: He doesn’t have to hope. Don’t you have anything better to do than annoy me? The wait for a response is short-lived as an image pops up on your screen. Sockclad feet are propped up on a coffee table beside a take-out box of tacos and a half-drained glass of beer, its foam running down the side. A hazy view of a television screen in the background. 

Why am I folding for this LOSERR whe my hottie rich husband is IN FRONT OF ME?!

Eddie: Thanks for clearing it up. I should let you get back to your date. Steve probably has steam coming out of his ears. You: He had to take a call. Eddie: He left you all alone? It’s a good thing I was around then.

The entire text exchange I...I'm not well. I am not okay.

Jelly, this is a fucking masterpiece. It ended and I literally was transported back to my kitchen table. I am so sunk in when I read this. I am there, I am her. I am in 2012 and wearing faux leather leggings and Litas. I am aching for my fiancee and my ex lover, I am tasting the salmon at dinner and breakfast at the diner -- I know exactly what that painting looks like and would look like in my office.

This is easily truly one of the best series I have ever read, I cannot WAIT for part four.

Forgotten sons, Forgotten dates, & Florence.

Masterlist

TW: 2012 AU, Older!Eddie, Older!Steve, Femreader, Second Chance Romance (not a slow burn), Love Triangle, Smut, Mentions of DV, 18+ No minors WC:8554 beta'd by @superblysubpar

The slow roll of red and blue lights reflects on the big picture window in your living room, casting a glare across the TV screen. Shifting from your stomach, your head turns to meet the anxious expressions worn by your parents. The handful of popcorn you were holding falls to the beige-colored carpet where you’d been sprawled. 

‘Honey…” your dad’s concerned voice cautions, but it’s too late. You are on your feet, greasy fingerprints transferred to your flannel pajama pants as you walk straight toward the door.

“Honey, don’t. It’s not our business.”

As the door swings open, a gust of frigid November air washes over you. Your bare feet meet an icy sting from the frozen boards of your porch. The staticky voices from police radios crackle through the cold night air, their words blending into an indecipherable hum as they float down the street. The wood underneath your feet turns to the scrape of cement as you leave the warm safety of your home and run down the rain-washed street towards the ambulances and police cruisers. Fallen red and yellow leaves stick to the pavement, their colors vivid in the flashing lights reflecting off the wet road.

Time stretches like a rubber band, lengthening each moment. People in uniforms hurry past, paying you no attention as you call out his name. The smell of damp earth mixes with the acrid scent of diesel from the idling vehicles. Bright lights from inside the house spill out into the dark from the open front door.

“Eddie,” you cry out again as a hand closes over your elbow, tugging you back.

“You can’t be here.”

You struggle, attempting to break free from the policeman's grip as he pulls you away. Your head turns, and your eyes finally find his. Frightened doe eyes peer back from a pale face tinged with blue. Sitting in the back of the ambulance, he looks much smaller, like the world has pressed its full weight down on him. The gray blanket covering his shoulder doesn’t protect him from the shattering of the only life he knows. 

“Eddie,” you whisper his name, your voice trembling. He tries to stand, shrugging off the woolen blanket, his hand reaching out as the EMT seals the doors. The ambulance roars to life and speeds away, leaving you alone with the taste of salt from your tears mingling with the cold, crisp air. A gurney rolls past, bearing a figure lying motionless beneath a white sheet. Only a portion of her face is visible, her features obscured by a patchwork of black and blues, her dark hair falling to the side like a shroud.

"I've got her."

Your dad's strong voice breaks through the chaos as he sweeps you up from the policeman's grip. He holds you close, carrying you away like he did when you were much younger, your face buried in his shoulder, tears dampening the fabric of his jacket. The world blurs as his steps bring you closer to home. You cry for the boy who will face the rest of this world alone.

“Egg-white omelet with tomatoes, mushrooms, and onions. No spinach. And I’ll have a side of bacon, very crispy but not blackened,” Nancy says, handing her menu to the waiter before shifting her eyes toward you. 

“Two eggs over easy, please–avocado toast and the fruit salad.”

“I’ll do the brioche french toast with the salted caramel and bananas. And extra whipped cream, please. Oh, and a side of sausage links.”

“What?” Robin asks after the waiter has left. “I’m hungry.”

“We just worked out,” Nancy scolds. 

“I did hot yoga. I need to replenish,” Robin explains, raising a mug of tea to her lips.

After moving here, a night out always ended with breakfast at The Friendly Toast, welcoming the sun as it rose over the city. As habits and routines changed, it evolved into a standing brunch for just the ladies after morning gym sessions. The diner’s retro black and white flooring and red vinyl upholstered seating still bears the same traces of syrup as it did all those years ago, but the food is good, and the wait is never long. 

"Was it the hot yoga or you're Saturday night with Taylor," you tease, earning a dreamy smile from a pink-cheeked Robin. 

"Yoga actually wasn't that hot this morning," Robin admits, biting her lip, reaching for the creamer pitcher at the center of the Formica table.

Now that you all have a bit more cash to spare, Nancy leans towards the idea of brunching in a bougier spot in your shared Gold Coast neighborhood, but Robin is a stickler for traditions. The charm of Nancy Sinatra playing over the speakers and the selection of boozy milkshakes are what win your vote. 

The food arrives quickly this morning. “Three hot plates for three hot ladies,” the waiter winks as he delivers generous portions on the ceramic oval plates. The smoky scent of bacon mixed with the sweetness of caramel. He pulls a silver canister from his apron pocket, giving Robin’s dish an extra squirt of whipped cream.

“Oh, he’s getting a very good tip,” Robin says, placing her napkin in her lap.

Laughing, you pick up your fork and break the yolk, letting the soft yellow drip onto the smashed avocado. Nancy rolls her eyes and picks up her beeping phone. 

"No phones," Robin chides around a mouth full of French toast.

"Sorry," Nancy says, tapping out a quick reply before placing her phone face down on the table, "My brother is driving everyone crazy.” She unwraps her silverware before continuing, “He wants us all to come to Florida for Christmas since it will be the first one in their new house, but Hawkins is so much easier for everyone. Holly is still in school, and Jonathan doesn’t want to take that much time off from work.”

“Sounds like Steve.” Your eyebrow lifts as you take a bite.

“Steve only works so hard because he wants to take care of you,” Robin says, pointing her fork in your direction.

“He adores you,” Nancy agrees, “You're lucky.”

“I know.” You pick at your eggs. It’s moments like this that make it clear they’ll always be Steve’s friends first. 

“Did you get the Bulls tickets for his birthday?” Nancy asks, before picking up a piece of bacon with her fingers and biting into it with an audible crunch.

“I ordered them last week,” you tell her, taking a bite of pineapple.

“I hope you got extra,” Robin says, dabbing some whipped cream from the corner of her mouth with a napkin. 

“You're not thinking of going now?” Nancy looks at her, surprised.

“No. Not for me,” Robin says, waving her off, “I’m sure he’ll want to invite Eddie now that he’s back in town.”

You sit up straighter in your chair, just the mention of Eddie's name has tension rippling down your spine. “I got him six tickets. He’ll have three extra to invite whoever he wants,” you say, settling the matter.

“Let me know how much I owe you for me and Jonathan,” Nancy tells you.

“I got it,” you assure her, “Just buy him a foam finger or something.”

“It’s his birthday. You’re really not going?” Robin prods, her voice carrying a note of judgment.

“Not if I can help it. You know I don’t like sports.” It's the same answer as the first time she brought it up, a few weeks ago. “He’ll have more fun with people who appreciate it. I’ll celebrate with him when we’re alone.”

“Say no more,” Nancy says, raising her hands as she looks down at her plate.

“Come on, Nance,” Robin laughs, “You used to celebrate with him in the exact same way.”

“Robin,” Nancy whispers through clenched teeth, darting her eyes toward you.

“I don’t care, Nance. It’s ancient history,” you chuckle. Steve’s high school relationship with her ended with a lot of heartache, but they obviously weren’t right for each other. The friendship that they share today is different from his and Robin's. She understands the pressure that he's under. 

“I’ve always wanted to know,” Robin says, her eyes glinting with mischief, “Who is better, Steve or Jonathan?”

“Don’t answer that,” you chuckle, patting Nancy’s hand as her face cycles through several shades of pink. 

“I won’t,” she glares at Robin. “Oh, wait. I don’t owe you,” she says, turning back to you and shifting the conversation, “You owe me. I can’t believe you scooped us on Eddie’s studio opening.”

Sighing heavily, you fill your mouth with a big bite of your breakfast, but the taste is off now. This story is a relentless storm cloud, always hovering, disrupting the peace. He's only been here a week and here's another argument. Hurricane Eddie. He must be pleased, relishing the storm he's brought into your life.

“Spectrum doesn’t even write about music,” Robin points out with a slice of banana at the end of her fork.

“It would have been a great piece for Chicago Lifestyles. We even could have hyped it up on an episode of Chronicle,” she complains, mentioning the human interest show that Spectrum runs profiling things happening in the city. “I’m the one that organized his welcome night, and this is the thanks I get.”

“Don’t look at me." You raise your hands in front of you. 

“Why did he tell you and not me that he was moving here?” Robin adds her own touch of gripping. “I should have been in charge of that.”

“Because then it wouldn’t have been a surprise,” Nancy tells her, “You’ve never been able to keep a secret.”

“But you’re very pretty,” you chuckle, diffusing the situation.

“Thank you. I am,” she responds, swirling her last bite in caramel before popping it into her mouth.

Your laughter blends with the background din of conversation and the gentle clinking of silverware as you savor the last bites of your meal. When the check arrives, Nancy insists on covering the bill, urging you to put your share toward the cost of Steve's tickets, and Robin leaves behind the promised very generous tip. With your plates cleared and goodbyes exchanged, the three of you leave the crowded restaurant.

As you trail behind Robin and Nancy, your phone starts vibrating with an incoming call. Fumbling through the pockets of the jacket you're carrying, you step out onto the bustling sidewalk, teeming with people entering and exiting the diner. Lost in distraction, you collide head-on with a solid chest. Strong hands instinctively grasp your biceps, preventing you from stumbling further. As your gaze lifts, you're met with the chestnut eyes that have been the wind, stirring up your world. 

“Whoa. Careful, doll,” he says, surprise lacing his tone.

“What are you doing here?” You demand.

Flecks of gray paint pepper the tangle of dark curls pushed back from his face, joining the streaks and spatters covering his ripped jeans and a long-sleeved white tee, his wide eyes drinking you in.

“He’s meeting me,” Robin says, appearing beside you. “I’m taking him to meet an artist he’s commissioning. See, I can keep a secret.”

He’s still holding you, his eyes locked with yours, each ridge of his fingertips searing into your skin, the pressure of grip alternating like he’s reluctant to let you go. 

“I’m late,” you murmur, pulling away from his touch and turning in the opposite direction to walk down the road toward your car. 

"I’ll be right back,” he tells Robin before his footsteps echo on the sidewalk behind you. He waits until the restaurant is just out of sight.

“Doll-”

Keeping your pace purposeful, you push past people heading in the opposite direction, feigning deafness to his voice amidst the sound of traffic.

“Doll, just wait,” his hand brushes your elbow, but you spin before he can secure a grip. “Jesus. Will you give me a minute,” he mutters, frustration etching lines on his forehead as he rakes his hand through his hair.

“What do you want?” You ask, cradling your jacket closer to your chest.

“I had no idea you were here. I wasn’t trying to ambush you back there,” he tries to explain.

“It’s fine, Eddie.” Your eyes glance at the people passing around you. “You made it perfectly clear you’re going to go wherever you like.”

His tongue peeks out, wetting his top lip as he shakes his head. “Look, I wanted to tell you I don’t want you to do the interview.”

“Wow, okay.” Your eyes scrunch as the sting of rejection overpowers the butterflies filling your stomach.

“No,” he winces at his choice of words. “I want you too.” 

“You’re giving me whiplash here.” You finally meet his gaze. 

“What I’m trying to say is that I want to see you. Talk to you, but I don’t want you doing this interview hating me because you were forced into it.”

“It’s a little late for that-”

“No. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I can tell them…I can say I changed my mind.” His words carry a weight of earnestness, a sincerity that chips at the wall you’ve built between you. The instinct not to trust him, to remember all the times he’s let you down, wars with the truth in his eyes, begging you for acceptance. 

“We are both professionals. I can write it.” Your foot taps a quick rhythm against the pavement, as your face stays blank with defiance.

“If you’re sure...” he trails off, his eyes burning into yours as he waits for your answer.

The words form and reform on the tip of your tongue until the truth slips past, “I don’t hate you, Eddie,” you admit just above a whisper. 

“Well, that’s something,” he murmurs, searching your face.

The buzzing from your pocket resumes as the world shifts back into focus, breaking through the momentary understanding. 

“I’ve got to go,” you tell him, motioning towards your car. “The magazine will call and set something up soon.”

He blows out a breath as his shoulders lower. “I guess I’ll see ya round then,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

You nod, turning in the direction of your car, leaving him standing on the sidewalk to watch you walk away, the city filling the space between you.

Steve’s assistant is at his desk, fingers flying across the keyboard as he speaks into a headset. With a pleasant smile and a wave, you pass by him, pausing at the double doors to knock once under the brass nameplate reading Harrington. You turn the knob without waiting for a response. Steve is seated behind his immaculate metal and glass-topped desk, not a paper out of place. The floor-to-ceiling windows behind him frame a breathtaking view of the city's skyline while the afternoon sun casts long shadows across the plush beige carpeting. 

"Damn." He pauses with his coffee cup suspended halfway to his mouth, eyes roaming up and down your body. ‘Someone's a lucky guy.”

Biting your lip, his compliment has a smile lifting your cheeks. The velvet blazer covering over your shoulders crowns the plunging black silk tank you put on this morning. Its lacy edges trace the curves of your breasts, while your faux leather pants and ankle boots make your legs look miles long and hug your curves just right. 

“Yeah, well, big assignment today,” you reply, running your fingertips along the edge of his desk. 

In the past six years at Stax, you've delved into Ozzy's addiction, engaged Thom Yorke about climate change, and held the hand of a teary-eyed Taylor Swift as she cried over her ex. Your words have canonized the music that has woven the fabric of our culture. Eddie Muson is going to see you're not the same girl with stars in her eyes and headphones pressed to her ears. 

Steve’s brow furrows, etched with a deep V. "I was talking about me. Date night tonight, or did you forget?"

The blood drains from your face as you respond with a forced smile, "Of course, I didn't forget." The lie tastes bitter in your mouth. “I always want to look pretty for you.” Spinning his chair, your knees find their place on either side of his thighs as you straddle his lap. Your fingers gripping his starched collar. The notes of sandalwood from his cologne hit your nose, mixing with the scent of coffee. His features soften as his hands glide to your hips, and you tip your head and press your lips to his. “We’re meeting Robin’s new girlfriend tonight, right?”

“Taylor,” he confirms with a nod. “You’ll like her. She paints naked while listening to Jane's Addiction.”

“And how do you know this?” You laugh, your lips meeting his for the second time.

“I met her the other day when I took Robin to lunch.”

“Ahh," you respond with a playful grin, your thumb tracing along the stubble that lines his jaw. "That explains it."

“So, just an hour at the gallery, okay? We’ll have a drink and say hello-”

“If Robin lets us go,” you interrupt.

“Just an hour,” he reiterates, “Then I’m taking you to dinner alone. And we’ll go home for dessert,” he promises as his lips find their way to your neck.

“Hmm. Where are you taking me?” You ask as your eyes flutter closed.

"I'm not sure," he mumbles against your neck, “My assistant booked the reservation.” His lips trail lower, his grip tightening as his phone suddenly dances across the glass surface of his desk, its baseball jingle shattering the moment.

He picks up the phone, checking the number before setting it back down. “I’ll call them back,” he says absently before turning back to you. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but I have a conference in fifteen minutes. What are you doing here, Ace?” He asks, his eyes glancing towards the desktop screen that has been chiming with incoming emails. 

“I’m meeting Jonathan. He’s driving over to CursedSound,” you say, climbing off him. “Thought I’d come say hi before I left.”

"Okay, you can tell me about it tonight," he responds, his tone distracted, as if he might not have truly registered your reply. He adjusts his glasses before refocusing his attention on the screen.

“Alright.” The clacking of his keyboard drowns out your quiet tone. You smooth out your shirt, sensing that you’ve been dismissed. He squints behind his glasses, tugging a handful of hair. Worry nags at the edges of your thoughts–he’s pushing himself too hard.

“See you tonight,” you call over your shoulder as you leave his office, not bothering to wait for the response that won’t come. 

"All set?" Jonathan asks as he slides behind the wheel of his Volvo XC, his camera equipment already secured neatly in the back.

"Yup," you reply, clicking your seatbelt into place and settling into the plush leather seat.

"You know you didn’t have to come today," he comments as he maneuvers onto the bustling streets of the Loop, navigating the notorious Chicago traffic. "I’m just taking a few shots of the inside before it’s all put together and maybe a few portraits for the digital content."

"Yeah, I know.” You glance at him, offering a warm smile. "But I wanted to run through my outline for the series with him so he can be fully prepared," you explain, pulling your phone from your pocket and opening your email.

Eddie hadn’t reached out or texted once since the diner. The clock ticked slowly all week long, surrounded by magazine articles and album inserts, piecing together clues about what Eddie had been doing for the last eleven years while your outline came together, his silence crawling under your skin like a nagging itch. Maybe press for the studio had been all he was after, and his interest after all this time had nothing to do with wanting to see you again. Well, this time, he doesn’t get to dictate the terms, to decide if you’re useful or if you should be discarded like a day-old newspaper. Given the circumstances, showing up uninvited and unannounced seems fair. 

After circling the block once, Jonathan finds a space to park across the street from the old brewery.

"Is this it?" You ask, using a hand placed over your brow to shield your eyes from the sun.

The older building stands out amidst the sleek, modern high-rises that dominate the commercialized neighborhood. Its rough limestone-clad facade wears the scars of time, with colorful graffiti adorning any surfaces within arm's reach of the fire escapes and a rather questionable-looking bodega with covered windows attached to the corner. However, the copper-framed bay windows gleam with a warm, aged patina, and the asymmetrical turrets, adorned with stamped rosettes and scallop patterns, give it a soul hiding beneath the urban decay—very Eddie.

"I wonder how much he’s paying to rent for this place?" You mumble.

"I think he bought it," Jonathan says, coming up beside you, weighted down with bags full of equipment.

You follow Jonathan around the corner to a rusted metal door adjacent to a brushed steel sign displaying the CursedSound Recordings name and logo, securely affixed to the brick wall. He presses the buzzer next to the door, and a screeching bell reverberates from inside. Metal grinds against metal as the locks release, and the door swings open.

"Right on time, Jon," Eddie greets, his eyes widening when he catches sight of you standing behind Jonathan. Your lips raise into a smirk as you stride past him, catching a whiff of the smoke and leather that cling to his skin as you enter through the open door. The short hallway opens into a bigger space. The heels of your boots clack against the scuffed parquet flooring as you move further into the room. Sofas and chairs covered by sheets surround a custom reception desk in the dimly lit room. Dust motes float in the beams of light that pierce through the rips in the brown paper-covered windows, revealing that this is inside of the bodega.

"This, uh... this will be the lobby," Eddie offers, gesturing vaguely around the room before his fingers rake through the curls at the back of his neck. He’s clad in a pair of expensive jeans that seem tailor-made for him and an open light grey dress shirt with a white tee underneath. His hair and beard are freshly trimmed but not too short, giving off that effortless California cool vibe. He’s grown into himself, carrying a confidence that comes with age and success. He looks good – it's annoying.

His stare prickles on your skin as he blinks at you like maybe you’re really a ghost of his past come to call. 

"Is there more?" You ask, your tone haughty.

"Yeah. The studios are upstairs." He nods toward the propped open door, revealing a stairwell behind. He takes one of the heavy bags from Jonathan before following him up the stairs. You grip the green-painted metal railing as you climb the grey-bubbled stair treads, pausing at the landing to take in the view of the street. The city moves by at the same blurring pace, unaffected and unaware of the collectives of its inhabitants. Someone should stop and look once in a while. 

The door at the top of the stairs leads to the wide hall that smells of drywall and paint. The deep red wall-to-wall carpet, the kind you’d find at a theater, looks new and plush, a contrast to the stark walls primed but not painted. Heavy black doors with the silver letters – A, B, & C denote the entrance to each studio. 

Jonathan sets the bag he’s carrying down by his feet and eyes the room. "Mind if I look around?"

"Knock yourself out," Eddie tells him, placing the other bag beside the first. "Studio C is the farthest along."

Jonathan crouches to unzip a bag, pulling a camera from its depths, fitting the strap over his head before he wanders to the first door marked A and lets himself in.

"Didn’t expect to see you here today, doll. You aren’t on my calendar til next week." Eddie turns to you once Jonathan disappears from sight.

"I came to see what I was working with." 

"By all means." He waves you forward.

Moving down the hall, you choose the door on the opposite wall – Studio C. The carpet is different in here, a rich velvet blue. The glass wall that is already in place reveals a spacious live room with strips of soundproofing covering half of the walls and more neatly piled on the floor. An isolation booth, where artists can focus on their vocals without distractions, has been framed out but remains unfinished.

"Well, what do you think?" Eddie asks.

An Interesting question. Your eyes wander, exploring the mixing room, where an impressive-looking soundboard remains veiled in plastic. A newly painted mural dominates the entire back wall – graffiti art portraying a massive skull shedding tears made of music notes that cascade onto yellow-bricked path winding through a cityscape. It exudes raw emotion and authenticity, just like the music that will soon resonate within these walls. You can already sense it murmuring from deep within, poised to fill the voids in people's souls, for that's what music does – it's an indelible tattoo on the heart, amplifying both pain and joy. This music – his music, will endure.

Standing in the room's center, you take a slow spin before locking your gaze with Eddie's.

"What a dump."

A deep furrow appears on Eddie's forehead as his lips press into a disapproving line. 

"Should I be wearing a hard hat?" You raise your hand above your head and inspect the sturdy ceiling like it might collapse at any moment. "Has a building inspector been out?"

He crosses his arms over his broad chest as his eyes narrow, pausing for a breath as his lips part. Jonathan strolls into the room, unaware of his interruption, surveying the space with a thoughtful expression. 

"Nice art. Is this the guy Robin hooked you up with?" He questions Eddie, who remains locked in his scowl. 

"Yeah, it is. He’s coming back to do a wall in the lobby," he answers without looking away from you.

"That will look great," Jonathan says, nodding. "I’m going to set up some lights and get a few shots in here." 

Eddie waits for Jonathan to wander back into the hall before he crosses the room in three big strides, stopping directly in front of you, closer than what would be considered polite. But this is Eddie, and it’s all part of the game. Your hands move to your hips as you straighten in defiance. The scent of mint on his breath reaches your nose as his index finger barely brushes your skin as he lifts the gold circle and bar necklace that rests at your throat. 

"Harrington’s money has sure got you spoiled, princess," he mocks, giving it a light tug, causing the anchor end of the chain to rise up the valley of your breasts. When your eyes flash, his lips pull to the side, twisting in a smirk. 

"I make my own money, Eddie." You remove your chain from his hand. "You sure have a lot of opinions about my life, considering you don’t even know me."

"I think I know you, plenty–"

He steps back when Jonathan reappears, bags in tow. He sets them down lightly before casting glances back and forth between the two of you, "Have you gone over your outline?" He asks. 

"Not yet," you reply, flashing a sweet smile up at Eddie.

Jonathan clears his throat, growing slightly impatient. "Well, this won't take me long, and I'll be ready to head back. Why don't you go downstairs? I don't want you in my shot."

As you stomp down the stairs behind Eddie, the echo of your boots reverberates off the empty walls, the window glass reflecting an image of the unassured, sad girl you left in Hawkins. He’s wrong. He doesn’t know you or the lengths you’ll go not to be her anymore. 

The reception area sits in hushed stillness, broken by the distant hum of traffic outside and the gentle ticking of pipes like a clock counting the seconds. Eddie pulls the sheet covering an orange velour couch, sending a light cloud of construction dust into the air. Without waiting for an invitation, you take a seat at one end of the sofa. He settles next to you, spreading his legs wide and crossing one over his knee, his arm landing on the top of the cushions behind you. He’s sitting too close, the heat of his thigh pressing against yours, the spice of his cologne surrounding you. Close enough to see the light stubble on his jaw as he swallows. You shift forward to the edge of your seat, creating some space between you.

"You can’t even sit next to me anymore?" He asks, his tone a mix of disappointment and irritation. 

"I’m sitting next to you right now." you point out, straightening your back further.

"Then relax. Jesus. You used to get mad if there wasn’t a seat for you next to me."

"Well, we’re not in high school anymore, Eddie."

"I’m not talking about high school," he murmurs, looking down at his lap before he raises his eyes to lock with yours. 

The first few notes of a song you never wanted to hear again ripple to the surface, dragging up memories that should have remained weighted down in the cold depths of things forgotten. He disarms you so effortlessly, whether with a smile or his words. This was all a big mistake.

"I'm sorry," his fingers encircle your wrist, knowing he crossed a line he shouldn't have. You pull your hand away from his grip, and he quickly changes the subject before you have a chance to stand up and leave. "Did you want to tell me about the article?"

Lips parting, you pause to exhale, the sting slowly dissipating. "My editor…" you clear your throat, reaching into the pocket of your blazer for your phone. "My editor wants a series. There will be three featured articles." You tap on the screen bringing up your notes. Eddie raises his eyebrows and leans in, trying to read over your shoulder, but you angle it away as you continue, "That means I'll need three interviews…will you stop," you say when he tries again to see the screen. 

"It's about me. I just want to see it," he argues, leaning further into your space.

"My god, you're like a little kid." Switching the phone to your opposite hand, you hold it at arm's length, "Haven't you grown up at all?"

His lips turn up until his dimples are on full display. "Why would I want to go and do a thing like that? 

The exasperated scoff that leaves your throat is accompanied by your eyes rolling to the side. 

"Not like you," he admits, his gaze roaming over you from head to toe. "After you interviewed Win Butler, he told me he couldn't have denied you the truth, and I'm beginning to understand why. Harrington’s got good taste. You've only gotten more beautiful."

Your features remain even as a gentle heat rises up your chest. "I'll be sure to pass on your compliments. I'm sure Steve will appreciate it. Three interviews," you say, displaying that number of fingers, dragging his attention back to the matter at hand. “The first will be on your past – early career, your move from Hawkins to LA. Then we'll move on to your present. Why you chose Chicago.The work you're putting into the studio and any projects you have booked when you open." You refer back to your notes, and this time, his eyes don't leave your face, intent on studying you. "The big finale will be the future. Where you see the studio in five years, your predictions on the direction of the industry. "

With a final tap, you show him the mock-up displayed on your screen, "I’m titling it Behind the Mixer: The Past, Present, and Future of Eddie Munson's Cursed Sound." You look up from your phone, your gaze locking with his.

His eyes are hesitant before he breaks your connection to look down at the device in your outstretched hand. "Wow, I'm impressed, doll." A rosy tint colors his cheeks. "It's so professional. Not used to seeing my name printed like I'm somethin'."

"You’ve had plenty of press," you remind him. "What did Rolling Stone call you? The man with the ear for platinum."

"Yeah, that's true. I've been written about before." He looks up, brown eyes burning into yours, your heads now just a few inches apart. "But never by you. They weren't your words."

The weight of his stare is too heavy. You turn your head to look around the room. Liar. The familiar itch prickles beneath your skin. 

"I’ve read everything you’ve written," he prattles on as you cross your arms over your chest, your fingernails leaving half moons in the fabric of your jacket. 

"I buy a subscription to Stax every year. I get Wayne one, too. Do you know he saves every–"

“Stop, Eddie,” you say, cutting him off. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Do what?” He asks, his brows sinking.

“This.” You wave your hand between you. “Whatever this is. I’m going to write a good story. You’re getting what you want.”

“Isn’t it?”

“What I want?” He looks surprised. “You think this is about the article?”

His mouth parts, words teetering on the edge of his tongue, when Jonathan's footsteps cause the stairs to groan under his weight. "Finished?" Jonathan inquires, "I'd like to wrap up with a few shots of Eddie by the sign."

"We're done," you confirm, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

"No, we're not, doll," Eddie argues, "Actually, you go ahead, Jon. I'll give her a ride home."

"No, you won't." You stand, not sparing him a glance. "I have somewhere else to be."

"We're losing the light," Jonathan laments, camera in hand, gesturing for both of you to follow.

“You got big plans tonight? Sure you aren’t looking for an excuse not to finish our conversation?” Eddie presses, trailing behind you as you step through the side door out onto the street.

“Believe me, it’s definitely finished,” you state, firmness lacing your words, stepping aside to get out of Jonathan's way.

"Just stand in front of the brick," Jonathan directs, "To your left," he motions with his hand.

“And not that it’s any of your business," you let an air of condescension lace your tone, "But I have a date tonight with my fiancée.”

“Relax, Eddie. Don’t look at the camera," Jonathan instructs when Eddie's jaw clenches.

Eddie's thumbs hook into the pockets of his jacket. "Sounds romantic," he snarks. "How long have they been engaged now, Jon? Two years? And we still haven't received a wedding invitation. Someone's having cold feet. My money's on Harrington."

"His name is Jonathan. No one calls him that, Eddie." You cock your hip, crossing your arms. 

"I'm sure he would tell me if he minded," Eddie retorts, matching the irritation in your voice.

"I don't care," Jonathan sighs, "Can you just move around a bit and look down."

You narrow your eyes, inspecting Eddie as he gets into position."Did you cut your hair again?"

"I'm a thirty-two-year-old man. Sometimes I do that," he responds, scratching at his beard.

"Tip your chin to the right," Jonathan instructs from behind the camera, the shutter clicking in short bursts.

"Well, it looks stupid."

"Okay, I think I've got it," Jonathan says, lowering the camera. "Jesus, what is it with you two? If I wanted to listen to bickering, I’d go home to Nancy," he complains, with a red face. "Let's go."

The rush of water as it overflows from the upper stone basin into the fountain's pool blends the conversation of the other diners at the 3 Arts Club into the background. The atrium is dimly lit, relying on the massive crystal drop chandeliers cascading golden light and the flickering hurricane lanterns spilling candlelight onto the marble-topped table you're seated at. Steve smiles, holding your gaze as the waitress sets the plates in front of you. Swirls of green in his soft eyes are set off by the towering olive trees behind him, that give off a subtle woody aroma. 

“For a minute, I thought we weren't going to make our reservation.” He unwraps his silverware from the cloth napkin and places it in his lap. 

“We almost didn’t,” you point out, “I think Robin wanted us to stay and join them after Taylor’s show.”

“I’m glad we didn’t. I want some time alone with you.” He reaches across the table, fingers closing over yours.

“Thank you for bringing me here. This place is really beautiful.” Your gaze sweeps upward toward the towering glass ceiling, where the night sky glows a deep plum hue painted by the lights of the city.

“Is it?” he asks, his eyes locking onto yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “All I see is you.”

Your cheeks warm, a shy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Eat your salad, you charmer.” You roll your eyes before looking up at him from under your lashes.

The side of his mouth lifts as he lets you go to pick up his fork, mixing the shavings of parmesan in with the crips romaine and the delicate bites of chicken. Your phone vibrates against your hip through the pocket of your blazer.

Eddie: What I said had nothing to do with the article. 

Without answering, you place your phone on your thigh, picking up your fork to break off a piece of salmon. The honey and black pepper melt on your tongue as you take your first bite. 

“What did you think of Taylor?” Steve asks, spearing a few of your truffle fries with his fork and setting them on the edge of his plate.

“You were right. I liked her,” you tell him as a faint buzzing emanates on your thigh. 

Eddie: If you would quit running away, I would have told you that in person. 

Run away? A knot ties itself in your stomach as you blink down at the message on your screen, only hesitating for a moment before tapping out a reply. 

You: I didn't run away. I had something better to do. 

"Did you like the blue watercolor of the thistles she did?" He asks as you look up, placing your phone face down on the table. 

"It matches the blue of the built-ins in your office. We could get rid of that old chair from your parent's basement. Redo the whole thing."  His eyebrows lift hopefully as your phone rattles on the marble.

Eddie: Is that why you're texting me right now because you're busy doing something better?

“You're not touching my chair. My entire office is off-limits. I like it the way it is,” your voice comes out too sharp. Your gaze flickers between Steve and the glowing screen of your phone as you type your response. 

You: Good point. An error on my part. Goodnight.

“I can always hang it in the guestroom. Who are you texting?” 

His question captures your full attention. “Sorry. It’s for work.” You switch the button at the top to silent and set it back down on the table. “You bought it, didn’t you?” You ask, sinking your fork into a few fries before dipping them in aioli. 

His eyes crinkle at the corners as he takes a big bite of his salad, avoiding your question as he chews.

“Steve, the house is going to be a museum to her ex-girlfriends. We’ll be able to give guided tours.”

He laughs, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “Art is an investment. Even my dad agrees.”

“Oh, your dad, huh? I didn’t know he agreed with anything. Can I have a bite of your salad?” Your fork hovers over his plate as you catch the light of your phone screen lighting up out of the corner of your eye. 

“Yeah. Go for it.” He pushes his plate closer to you. “How was the salmon?” 

“Good. You want some?” You ask around a mouth full of lettuce.

“I’ll try a little,” he says, swapping around your plates as you set your fork aside and pick up your phone.

Eddie: I bet Harrington took you somewhere real fancy. He’s probably hoping it will get him laid.

Your eyes narrow at your screen as your jaw clenches and your heel taps beneath the table.  

You: He doesn’t have to hope. Don’t you have anything better to do than annoy me?

The wait for a response is short-lived as an image pops up on your screen. Sockclad feet are propped up on a coffee table beside a take-out box of tacos and a half-drained glass of beer, its foam running down the side. A hazy view of a television screen in the background. 

“Is that still work? Who’s texting you?” Steve asks, his eyes speculative as he leans forward and glances at your screen. 

“It’s just Eddie,” you dismiss the question with a wave of your hand as you darken the screen. "What about you? How are things with the radio launch?"

He studies your face a moment longer before his features soften, and he answers, "My workload has more than doubled. City Beats has as many divisions as Second City collectively, and I’m overseeing all of it.” His elbows land on the table as his hands tug through his hair. “I’m coordinating with marketing trying to promote it all across the city, and today, Richard called me into his office and said he wants me to meet the sponsors with Ted. Doesn’t think he can handle it on his own. Says I’m more advertiser-friendly.” He uses his fingers to quote the title.

“Can you tell him no?” You reach across the table for his hand. “It’s too much, Steve–for anybody. You've been working like this for months.”

“I can’t. The launch is in a few weeks, then I'll talk to Rich—” He stops mid sentence as his ringtone breaks through the peaceful ambiance. Pulling his phone from his breast pocket, he squints at the screen in the low light, a frown making him look more weary than usual. “I’m sorry, Ace. I need to take this.” He stands, giving your hand an apologetic squeeze before walking towards the entrance. “Hi, Richard. No, you're not disturbing anything…”

As Steve's voice trails off, leaving you on your own in the dimly lit atrium, the room continues to hum with conversations, laughter, and intimacy. You pick up your wine, the cold glass feeling delicate in your fidgety fingers, the crisp acidity of the sauvignon blanc offering  little comfort.  Dining alone shouldn't feel strange. People do it all the time, relishing their own company as they leisurely turn the pages of books or savor each bite. It's a skill you've yet to master, haunted by an irrational discomfort under the imagined weight of judgmental eyes, a residue of being the girl no one would sit next to in Hawkins. It's absurd, of course, but that old fear lingers, an uninvited companion. 

As you reach for your phone, Eddie's name sits at the top of your notifications, and this time, the distraction is welcomed. 

Until you read it. 

Eddie: I read your album review of Lungs. You really stunk up the page with that one.

You: Lungs by Florence and the Machine? That was two years ago!

Eddie: I told you I read all your work. x

You: And what exactly did you take issue with?

Eddie: You trashed her. You said her vocals were overpowering and meant to cover up mediocre musicians. Said she was an alt Britney Spears.

Your nose scrunches with wince, recalling the words you choose to print.

You: I wrote what I felt at the time.

Eddie: The album sold 3 million copies. Don’t worry, Flo forgave you. 

Eddie: Eventually

You: I doubt Florence Welch reads Stax.

Eddie: Well

Eddie: I had a copy.

You: YOU SHOWED IT TO HER!

Fury. Blind, hot, raging fury rolls through your veins. Your hand smacks onto the table with a resounding crack, causing the silverware to clatter and plates to rattle. A few diners stop to look at you, and you give them a bashful smile as heat creeps up your neck. 

You: I’m going to hurt you. Slowly.

Eddie: Relax. No need to get kinky. It’s all water under the bridge. I worked on that album, and I intentionally asked for that bold, unapologetic vocal style. It was meant to be raw. It seems like the fans agreed.  But, hey, everyone gets it wrong once in a while. Maybe you were on your period or something.

Your fingers dance across the keyboard, a torrent of response surging, ready to pour out, but you restrain the urge to send them – every ugly word remains unsent. His three dots flicker on the screen, and another message swiftly follows.

Eddie: The only reason I remember it was because her album dropped the same week you got engaged. At first, I thought it might be personal, but I wondered why after all these years. Then I realized you were probably far too busy writing Mrs. Harrington with big hearts around it in your diary to be worrying about me.

Words, false as a cracked melody, slip from your fingers with practiced ease, but beneath it all, guilt settles in your chest like a haunting refrain, its weight growing heavier with every truth left unsaid.

You: I don’t remember if I knew you worked on that album.

Eddie: I’m sure you didn’t. 

He went down this path searching for something. Unspoken lyrics to a hidden refrain that have long evaded his grasp. Whatever he’s uncovered and what it means to him isn’t clear, but for now, he’s letting you off the hook. Relief sweeps over you like the final notes of a song, the recording skipping and cracking, ushering in something new between you– a tune you haven’t heard before.

Eddie: Thanks for clearing it up. I should let you get back to your date. Steve probably has steam coming out of his ears.

You: He had to take a call.

Eddie: He left you all alone? It’s a good thing I was around then.

Steve approaches the table, his smile painted on but not quite reaching his eyes. You discreetly slip your phone away into your pocket. 

"Investors from Tokyo," he explains with a sigh. "Richard wants me on all the calls with them until we launch."

You reach out, your fingers tracing the contours of his stubbled jaw, "You're exhausted, baby."

"I know." He turns into your touch. "I've already paid. We can go if you're ready."

He takes your hand as you rise from the table, leading you through the restaurant and out onto the street. His arm goes around to waist to hold you close as you walk home. His hand occasionally dips lower than your waist as he presses a kiss to your temple. It's easy to take the comfort he offers. 

His warm, eager lips meet the sensitive skin of your neck, kissing, nibbling as he pushes you against the inside of your front door, sliding your blazer from your shoulders until it catches on your elbows.

"I thought you were tired," you gasp as his mouth journeys lower, leaving sparks of heat behind. His lips trace the curve of your collarbone, descending to the crest of your breast, where delicate black lace meets flushed skin.

"Not for this." He moves down to one knee, removing your boots one by one. "Never for you." They hit the hardwood with a clatter, their sound reverberating up the stairwell.

He moves back up your body, cursing when he struggles to find the zip at the back of your pants. Your laughter earns his smile as your head rolls against the thick oak door, your fingers searching for purchase on the soft material covering his forearms.

“Steve,” you breathe, your voice a heated whisper, just before his mouth finds yours. 

The baseball rounding of the bases blares from his pocket like a hammer shattering glass. He pulls back, breathing hard, closing his eyes as he leans his forehead against yours. The ringing continues, too loud, echoing off the quiet walls of your home. His apologetic eyes lock with yours before he steps back, pulling out the ringing device.

“Fuck.” His knuckles turn white as his grip tightens, Richards's name lighting up on the screen. He holds it a little higher for a moment like he’s preparing to smash it on the ground. 

"It's okay, Steve." You move closer to his side. Your hand gently glides down his arm, offering reassurance. "I've got a little work to do anyway. Take your call."

"Yeah?" he questions, his thumb hesitating over the accept button.

"Yeah, go ahead." You smile, giving his arm a squeeze.

Steve answers the call with a hint of annoyance in his tone, "Richard." His voice gradually fades as you make your way down the hallway to the small office you've claimed as your own, tucked away behind the kitchen.

With one hand pushing up the creaking door, your fingers fumble along the wall for the switch to the banker's lamp perched at the corner of your desk. A faint light filters in as the first raindrops ping against the glass, leaving meandering trails down the black-paned windows dominating an entire wall. You approach the peacock-blue shelving that Steve had crafted to house your ever-expanding collection of CDs, records, and books. Running your fingers over the album spines, you find the one you're looking for and slide it out of its protective sleeve. 

The mauve vinyl reflects the lamp light as you place it onto the waiting turntable. With a twist of a knob and a careful drop of the needle, the soft crackle emanates from the speakers, filling the room's quiet spaces. A honeyed voice purrs the lyrics as you settle sideways into the old leather chair rescued from your parent's basement. Legs dangling over the patched arm, you reach for the half-smoked joint in the ashtray beside you, lighting in time for the drumbeat to pound out a steady rhythm while the mild burn travels down your throat and into your lungs. 

The soft haze reaches your brain, quieting the uncertainty as the scratch of the guitar joins in with the melody. Curls of thick smoke spiral and twirl with your exhale, dancing through the air. You sink deeper into the embrace of the leather, taking a few more deep puffs before returning the burning joint to the ashtray and pulling your phone from your pocket. 

You: Yeah, Eddie. It’s a good thing. 

Song 4 Coming Soon. Follow @tornupdates for notifications

AN: Sorry I'm a day late. The holiday weekend kept me busy. I'd love to hear from you. Comments, reblogs, and asks are always welcome and appreciated. I'll be doing some traveling soon, so updates might be affected but I will be writing.

Hugs and kisses for all my kittens - Jelly

P.S. To the lovely person who suggested Linger. I can't find your ask because my brain is broken or Tumblr is. I just wanted to know that your song inspired an upcoming scene in chapter 5 that I'm so excited to write. I can't imagine this story without it now. So, extra big thanks.

So everyone keep sending me your song suggestions, please! I promise I'm listening to everyone.

[mendelnavi]

so rice @nextsoundofthefuture you seemed to enjoy my tags last time and i finally have the brain power to listen to gumiyas playlist so i will dive right in lets go crazy and stupid *salutes but with the wrong hand*

lost umbrella - oh my goddddd the DIRECT reference to shine and gumiyas meeting i am losing my fucking mind. like i have to imagine either this song was planned FROM THE BEGINNING or u were just like ‘oh my fucking god lost umbrella.’ like im losing it how much this is The gumiya song.

talk it up - this song jumpscared me to be honest after rolls were all vocal synths to my recollection or at least vocal synthPs hearing a real voice scared me. anyway gumiya boyboss arc. the accountant of all time. this is literally about being a Hard Working Boy and im proud of him

ivory - hmmmmmm this song is interesting. it feels like gumiya is talking about his own image? like he feels like he isn’t very cool. he’s just some guy. and he likes shine so much but shes so much cooler than him in his mind so theres like a gap that he feels is insurmountable and is really sad about it. not sure though but theres definitely inadequacy there. ‘i worked so hard to do something and does it even matter? i’m just an accountant. this is barely anything.’

tokyo ghetto - oh boy. ok with this and ivory combined i almost wonder if gumiya thinks his own form of kindness is a facade? like he doesnt think that there is Work in being kind and that everyones just faking it like him, not that its something you have to try every day. shine is this beacon because he feels like she’s earnestly being kind and he’s just. imitating it. maybe. at the very least he definitely looks up to shine’s version of kindness

like real people do - NOOOOOOOOO NOT LIKE REAL PEOPLE DOOOOOO my eyes started stinging the second i heard that guitar. i literally sing this song regularly like its one of the songs i perform professionally for people. this song matters to me so much ohhhh gumiya. gumiya buddy. oh god gumiya. you love her so much dont you. ohhhh buddy. forgiveness. love. redemption. (unwell rn)

candlelight - GUMIYA STOP BEING DOWN BAD ITS MAKING ME INSANE. do i even have more words. yeah i do actually these specific songs are all very. worshippy. not in a bad way! i just wonder if gumiya ever remembers shine is the same as he is and that loving her doesnt mean putting her so high up in his mind. 

always - ok rice jsyk the link to this song is not the right one in the description of the playlist its to candlelight again. anyway. gumiya expects to be the one to bear shine’s burdens? he wants to help. no matter the cost. but he still feels like he’s so far apart from her. his self esteem ..... Bro

hey brother - if this song is about how close gumiya is to his sisters i will be crying loudly and openly. sibling relationships get to me. either way its definitely also part of gumiyas Dependable Image i just hope this time its a little more genuine because his sisters. i hope

reunion - ok ive been wondering if the theme of losing hope in Something was just my imagination but this song cements it. gumiya is losing hope in his mission and he is just hoping with his android heart that shine will never feel that way with this song. ogh bestie

in the name of love - can i really say anything about this last song other than gumiya pinning ur hopes on someone is so much all the time. the grind is terrible and it is hurting you but doing this to shine certainly isnt going to help with the pining or the one-sided-ness of ur relationship. but i wonder if you know that and are okay with it, too. hmmmmmm. much to think about

[beepboop358]

Donnie Darko & Stranger Things: Clocks, Memories, Time Travel, Fire & ST4 Clues

(ST movie DNA series: 3)

This movie is seriously like a goldmine of ST references and clues I was geeking out the whole time xD

Summary: A teenage boy named Donnie Darko sleepwalks out of his house one night and sees a giant, demonic-looking rabbit named Frank, who tells him the world will end in 28 days. When Donnie returns home, he finds that a jet engine has crashed into his bedroom. The movie makes us question what is actually real; is Donnie living in a parallel universe, is he suffering from mental illness like everyone says he is, or is he seeing things everyone else cannot and the world is actually going to end?

What's Real?:

Donnie Darko depicts a "mentally insane" character. Donnie is seeing a giant bunny rabbit named "Frank" who he says tells him what to do, mostly bad and dangerous things, and that the world is going to end in 28 days Donnie takes medication and goes to intense therapy and everyone in his life is convinced he is insane and unwell. This idea of mental instability is a running them in Joyce's family, and I discuss that and the idea of Victor Creel this disturbed character in this post here.

We also see this same theme of "what's actually real?" in ST:

Mike to Will in s2 regarding the mindflayer: "Is this all real? Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?" (this basically summarizes Donnie Darko LOL)

Joyce to Will in s2 regarding the mindflayer: "These episodes that you're having, I think Dr. Owens is wrong. I think they're real."

Donnie does have telekinetic powers, just like El does. Donnie can also talk to Frank, an "otherworldly monster". Reminds me slightly of how Will can sense the upside down monsters.

Clocks, Memories, Time:

In the opening of the movie, we see a clock. The clock in this movie indicates an impending catastrophic event and "time is running out" to stop it, specifically in this movie, it's the world ending*.

The clock is striking midnight, in the Donnie Darko shots and the ST4 sneak peek clips. *It's a reference to the significance of midnight on the doomsday clock, most prevalent during the Cold War when U.S. and Russia were both building up so many nuclear weapons that mass destruction was possible at literally any moment. Schools did bomb drills frequently in both countries, and people were on edge all the time worrying about if they were going to be bombed or if one was going to malfunction and accidentally go off.

There are a lot of war movies on the st4 video store Fridays list, and we know the military is being brought into Hawkins this season, so there's our idea of war this season, and ofc the show takes place during the Cold War so double jeopardy LOL.

When we see the clock, the words are referring to a memory, a past event.

I think the grandfather clock shown in the st4 sneak peek (rumored to be in Vecna's lair and also Creel's house but unconfirmed) is going to be a portal to past memories like a way to access memories and past events through the powers of the upside down.

(time travel "flashbacks" theory and clocks = memories/past times low-key confirmed LOL 😆)

Portals Through Time/Worlds & Water:

The film also deals with direct time travel and portals between worlds/times: Donnie opens a time portal, from water..... and ends up causing this jet plane to crash into his room.

My jaw literally dropped when this happened guys, my mind was exploding xD

Water in the show is surrounded with the upside down monsters/dimension along with those cryptic water tweets from the stranger writers and the clip of Steve underwater in the st4 sneak peek, so there's the origin of water surrounding the portals to other dimensions (the upside down) in stranger things.

And then ofc we know time will be a big theme in s4, and we have seen tons of clock imagery in the st4 promos, and there are some references to time travel in s3 with Back to the Future, as well as plenty of other shots of clocks in the entire show

Fire:

Frank tells Donnie to burn down this motivational speakers house, so he does. Donnie sets this huge fire, and we know Will is commonly associated with fire in the show. But because Donnie burns down the house, it sets off this other chain of events that result in several other characters deaths, indirectly cause by Donnie following Frank's instructions.

I'm 99% sure the person in front of the car is Will, because the shirt he's wearing looks like the shirt of a teenager, his hair looks similar to that one leaked peak of his photo double, and that image is the 7th of the st4 clips shown. Maybe this is another hint to Will's storyline in s4.

The idea of Will going "mad" or "insane" in s4 is actually likely. The Opera in the HNL control room video that came out one day before the 002/004 "Eleven are you listening?" teaser, where it appears that Noah (Will) is one of the lab subjects in the room, hints to this idea of Will going "mad" and developing "dissasociative amnesia" due to psychological stress and trauma. I recommend you read my post about the opera linked above^ because it explains this concept with way more detail than I did here, and I think it's going to be really relevant for s4.

Causation & Control:

Throughout the film we see the idea of causation; Donnie does something (because Frank tells him to) that causes something else. It's like a chain of events or dominoes falling, one thing causes the other to happen, so now we're playing with the idea of how much control individuals really have, do we really have control over things or does someone else.

(My mind goes to Tess of the D'urbervilles, which is famous for exploring themes of free will, determinism, and the domino effect)

Which makes me think about how this idea may be in ST:

1. Will is controlling things through the DID theory

2. A character we haven't met yet, (my guess would be Victor Creel) is controlling things in the upside down because of a deep connection to it (maybe he created some version of the upside down)

^That idea also fits into the theory that Creel is an evil father/grandfather with special abilities who is pulling the strings from afar which would complete a Star Wars parallel (discussed here.)

Hmmm much to think about!

[just-someone-who-likes-to-write]

Overprotective

(Requested by Anonymous : Could I request a nuada x hellboys sister, maybe where Red dosent trust nuada until nuada saves her one day? Please and thank you!)

(A/N): It feels so good to be back and writing and hopefully I will be able to empty my ask box, the story is kind of a follow up to my other fic “Nuada X Mischievous Reader”, other than that please enjoy!

Warning: Grammatical Error, some angst, talk of R*pe but not actually any, sibling love, some comedy.

Word Count: 3,580 

When Nuada was finally defeated he was forced to join the B.P.R.D  as a way to repent for his crimes, only for the fact that they can't kill him because of his link to Nuala. If they kill him they will also be killing Nuala and by killing the only two royalty of the Bethmoora clan, they will risk another war happening. So they went with the safer route and its to recruit the prince in hopes he does become better.

 Now, Hellboy believes in second chances, he believes that his people can be good, that someday humans and monsters can live together happily. He joked about how when Nuada sees the good in humans that he might take a human lover, even saying it to Nuada himself, who made it clear that such a remark irritated him, which encourage Hellboy to keep on annoying him.

Who knew that teasing him about taking a human lover would turn on him in the form of walking into his younger sister while she was cuddling the elven prince… both almost naked.

 That day he kept chasing Nuada trying to shoot him down. It was until Manning got involved that he stopped.

 "Red stop trying to kill my boyfriend!" Exclaimed (Y/n) who stood in front  Nuada to shield him from her big brother.

 "You are too young for a boyfriend!" Retorted Hellboy earning a facepalm from Liz and Abraham.

 "I am a grown woman Red!" You said with crossed arms. "And have been for a long time now, just accept it."

 "W…Well..you!...He!" Stammered Hellboy, and you just smirked victoriously.

 "Yes Red." Said Abraham. "(Y/n) is old enough to have a partner."

 Hellboy's eyes lighted up with an idea. With his stone hand, he pointed a finger at Nuada and smirked.

 "But HE is TOO old for her." (Y/n)'s eyes widened in shock, and Nuada just rolled his eyes.

 “And what does that make you to Lizzy?... Huh!?” Replied (Y/n). “You may be physically an adult but we both know how old are you in the head Red.”

 As the sibling fight started to get even more heated the lovers of said siblings came forward to separate them. Liz came in front of red and started to push him backward while Nuada wrapped his arm around (Y/n)’s waist and started to whisper comforting words into her ears, which seemed to work for she looked up to him and smiled before sharing a gentle kiss.  However, that only seemed to anger Hellboy further.

 “Get your hands off her!” He was still being held back by a pregnant Liz. (Y/n) frowned at his outburst she opened her mouth to say something back but Nuada stopped her.

 “I know how enraged you must be to see your sister,  who had always admired you be with another because I felt the same thing towards Abraham and I must confess I do still feel it sometimes…” he started. “But know that I truly care for (Y/n) and I will protect her-“

 “Bullsh*t!” Said Hellboy cutting him off. “You are still that insane elf who wants to destroy all humanity!”

 “Brother Red, you noted how Nuada is getting better.” Said Abraham.

 “Yeah!” Agreed Liz. “And weren’t you the one who said Nuada should get a human girlfriend?”

 “Not my freaking baby sister!!” He screamed.

 “I’m not little anymore Red!” Screamed (Y/n)  back. “I can date whoever I want!... And I love Nuada,  So there! “

 Not wanting to argue anymore (Y/n) started to drag Nuada, who was stunned by her sudden confession, Out of the room and he followed without hesitation,  leaving behind a very angry demon.

 “He is no good for you (Y/n)!... And I’m gonna prove it!!” Hellboy shouted one last time making sure Nuada heard him.

 ---

 For the next couple of weeks, Hellboy did everything in his power to prove that Nuada was using his little sister and is still evil. He kept a watch on Nuada while he trained, ate, and even when he casual walking down the hallway. Nuada, of course,  is a warrior so he could feel Hellboy's eyes on him, he actually could see him because the demon did a very slobby job at hiding, but for the sake of his dear (Y/n), He was willing to put up with whatever her brother puts him through.

 "Was it everything you needed?" Asked the woman on the desk as she took the file full of papers from Nuada.

 "Yes, thank you for your help." He replied politely.

 "Anything for the infamous Nuada." Said the woman in a sultry manner.

 It wasn't the first time someone tried to seduce him in this building, especially after his and (Y/n) relationship became public. But he ignored them all because he already had his beloved. So Nuada nodded, and turned around to leave ignoring her advances towards him. anyone could tell from his blank look on his face that he wasn't interested in the woman in any way, however, someone thinks other ways. Sensing an attack is coming Nuada just sighed and prepared himself because he knew who is the source. Just as he stepped out of the office a stone hand got a hold of his collar shirt, yanking him up in the air before slamming him against the concrete walls violently, cranking them. Nuada grunted from the pain but he kept calm. He opened his golden eyes and meet the yellow once that glared back at him.

 "You bastard!" Growled Hellboy. "How dare you cheat on my baby sister!"

 "I did not betray (Y/n) in any-"

 "Bullsh*t!" Hellboy exclaimed cutting him off.

 His outburst was attracting unwanted attention, Nuada could already see humans whispering to each other, he knew of how the humans love to gossip and twist stories just so they could enjoy the reaction they receive not carrying that twisting fact can hurt people lives, and he didn't want his relationship with (Y/n) end because of a gossip. He again tried to calm the demon.

 "Hellboy…" he called in a low voice. "This isn't the place to talk about such things."

 "So you admit that you are cheating on (Y/n)." Stated Red who ignored the rising whispers around them.

 "I am not!" Nuada tightened his hold on the stone wrist. He knew it won't hurt him but he hoped that he would take the hint.

 "Don't deny it I saw you all the time." He confessed. "Wherever you go there is always a girl stuck to your hip."

 Nuada's eyes widened at the accusation. It was true that whenever he wanted to train or eat, a woman would approach him, but that's only because his beloved was not there to scare them off.

 "It's not what you think-" Before he could finish Hellboy pulled him from the wall before slamming him in again.

 "Save it!"

 "Red what are you doing!?"

 Both creatures turned to see a very angry (Y/n) marching towards them, behind her was Nuala who just stood behind looking troubled on what she should do. (Y/n) however, knew. She pushed Hellboy away Nuada forcing him to let the prince go, she rushed to Nuada.

 "Are you ok?" She asked with a worried look, Nuada just nodded as he stood straight and massaged his neck, she turned to her brother."Red, what is the meaning of this?"

 "I'll tell you what's going on…" he pointed to Nuada behind her. "I caught this guy cheating on you with another woman."

 "What?" a confused look crossed (Y/n) face.

 "I caught him flirting with women around the building!" Said Hellboy, (Y/n) just shock her head.

 "No, Nuada would never do that to me." She replied with her arms crossed.

 "Ask him yourself!" he said with a grin.

 "Nuada care to explain?" Asked (Y/n) with her arms crossed.

 "And don't lie!" Added Hellboy before receiving a glare from (Y/n), which silenced him.

 His little sister is a sweet girl but when she is pissed she is even more dangerous than him, and he learned that from harsh experience after teasing his sister too much when she was younger. (Y/n) turned to her lover before locking her arm around his and dragging him away with her. Hellboy was going to go after them but was stopped by Nuala who told him Liz was feeling unwell again, so he rushed to her forgetting Nuada for now.

    The ride in the vehicle to their next mission was so quiet you could hear the voices of people outside as they passed them by at such speed.

 And Hellboy can't help but feel a bang of guilt because he was the cause.

 After him making a scene and accusing Nuada of cheating, (Y/n) turned to Nuada for an explanation. Turns out she didn't know about him being flirted with by so many women and the fact that he never told her angered (Y/n) further, which resulted in their first fight.

 Now, (Y/n) sat beside Abraham with the mission's file in her hands reading it carefully, while Nuada sat far in the corner near the doors, and once in a while he would steal glances at (Y/n) hoping she would look at him but she stood still like a stone.

 She deserves the nickname their father gave her, "The Iron Lady".

 "So..uhh.." Stammered Abraham. "We are getting close to the location."

 "Very well." Said (Y/n) finally after not saying anything since before the ride.

 Hellboy sighed wishing Liz was here to help but he knew if she was here she will blame him for the fight, and she won't be wrong.

 "the creatures we are against are against are a bunch of rouge Nagas, who did not only attacked and feed on some humans but also kidnapped a few." Explained Abraham.

 "Kidnapped?" Asked Hellboy.

 "Yes, there are two possibilities for why…" Abraham turned to them and he counted. "The first would be to feed those who can't hunt by themselves, which is unlikely considering the nature of the Naga."

 "And the second reason?" Pressed Hellboy.

 Abraham paused finding it difficult to say, but (Y/n) didn't.

 "Breeding." She said closing the file. "They kidnap humans to breed them."

 "They r*pe the humans!?" exclaimed Hellboy his eyes widened.

 "More like using them as a vessel to carry the eggs, so the young once can find something to nibble on when they hatch." She explained. "But yeah, it will be against the victims well, so it is that."

 "(Y/n) I think you should stay behind." Said Nuada the look on his face was serious.

 "Why so you can act all high and mighty for your girlfriends?" She replied annoyingly without even looking at him as she started to prepare herself with weapons.

 "This is not the time or place for such talk." Nuada was irritated now. "You read the file yourself they are using humans for breeding and you will be a target to them."

 "What, you think just because I'm a girl I can't take care of myself?" She finally turned to him her hands on her hips and her eyes glared dangerously at him. Nuada glared back.

 "Stop being stubborn for once and listen to me!" He said sternly but (Y/n) was not phased.

 When the vehicle came to a stop (Y/n) hurried to the doors ignoring Nuada completely. He might try to hide it but Hellboy did see the look of hurt cross his face, making the guilt he feels even greater.

 "Uhh.. hey man… listen-" Hellboy started reached to place a hand on the Elf's shoulder to comfort him but what cut off by Nuada slapping his hand away from him, he gave him a harsh glared before going after his angry lover.

 "I deserve it." sighed Hellboy before going after them as well.

 ---

 When they reached underground they realized that they needed to split and Because (Y/n) and Abraham are the weakest of the bunch they decided that one with stay with Hellboy and the other with Nuada, before Nuada could say or do anything (Y/n) dragged Hellboy to one way, leaving Nuada with Abraham. Now, Both Hellboy and (Y/n) walked down the dark path staying glued together each one holding a gun, the only thing they could hear was their own breathing and footsteps. His little sister was concentrated on the mission at hand but Hellboy wasn't.

 "Sooo…" He started. "you guys are still in a fight?"

 Hellboy knew his question was a stupid one but he couldn't think of any other.

 "What sharp preservation you have." She replied sarcastically, making Hellboy wince at her tone.

 "Are… Are you going to.. break up?"

 "No!" (Y/n) immediately answered stopping on her track to look at her brother who was takin back by her sudden outburst. She sighed.

 "Me and Nuada… aren't breaking up." She said slowly before continuing to walk, her brother followed.

 "It's true, I am angry at Nuada for hiding such an important thing from me but that isn’t the only reason…" she started to explain. "We told me how I am overreacting that he doesn’t understand why it is important for me to know…"

 She stopped when a whimper escaped her throat, she quickly turned away from Hellboy to wipe her tears. When they were young Hellboy never saw her cry, the last time he saw her cry openly was when their father died, and now here she is choking up tears because of a fight she had with the one she loves… a fight her caused. Hellboy wanted to comfort her but the sound of hissing pulled them out of their thoughts, before they knew it a Naga jumped from a hiding sport tackling Hellboy to the ground, separating him from (Y/n).

 He held the creature's head with his stone hand crunching it and throw the body away, but just when he was about to call for his sister, another pair of Nagas attacked him keeping him still. As he struggled with them he was forced to watch as his sister defended her self by shooting one of them in the eye making him whale in pain, she was focused on the one coming in front of her that she didn’t see the one creeping up behind her.

 "Behind you!" He called drawing her attention but it was too late. The moment (Y/n) turned to face the Naga behind her it hit her head causing her to lose consciousness and fall.  "NO!"

 Hellboy started shooting his way out and to (Y/n) but when he was finally free it was too late and his sister was gone. They took her.

 Consumed by rage Hellboy started to slaughter the Nagas around him with a roar, his massacre caused the rest to flee from him out of fear. The demon ignored them as he ran through a tunnel that the Naga who took (Y/n) slithered in. Horrible images started to invade his brain at what his baby sister is probably going through, it motivated him to run even faster, however as he came closer he could hear the slashing of flesh and clink on the iron echo from the end of the tunnel. When he finally reached the end he was surprised by the sight that greeted him.

 (Y/n) was thankfully safe, she is still unconscious but her head was laying on Abrahams's lap as he checked for injuries, but that wasn't was surprised him. what surprised him is Nuada clearly consumed by bloodlust and he tore through the Nagas mercilessly. Hellboy pulled himself from the shock as he ran to Abraham.

 "Is she ok?!" he asked worriedly, Abraham Nodded.

 "Yes, she is just unconscious from the hit."

 A whale of pain pulled them from their conversation. they turned as saw Nuada starting to chase those who tried to slither away or hide from him, By now Nuada was covered in blood.

 "What happened?" Asked Hellboy, who didn't care about the other creatures' fate.

 "We were hiding in one of the holes, observing the nest for survivals when one of the Nagas came in with (Y/n) unconscious…" He paused for a second look back to Nuada who was taking deep breaths to calm himself. "I tried to stop him but the moment I held his hand I could sense the pure rage he felt but also the hint of fear for (Y/n)'s safety."

 Hellboy was stunned by what he heard, their conversation was cut short when they saw Nuada come towards them and kneel in front of (Y/n) he reached out for her only to stop when he realized how his hand was bloody and that the rest of him was covered in blood. He looked up at Abraham.

 "No injuries, just unconscious." He answered the silent question Causing Nuada to sigh in relief, he then turned to Hellboy.

 "I could go and hunt the once who escaped, you can leave."

 "No no!" Stopped him Hellboy. "It won't be needed, from what I saw I doubt that they will be back."

 Nuada just nodded to him before looking back at (Y/n), his eyes held a worried stare, he looked at himself again.

 "Could you carry her?... I do not wish to dirty her."

 "Of course."

 With (Y/n) in his arms, Hellboy and the others made their way out of the underground Naga nest. A couple of medics rushed to them with a stretcher when they saw (Y/n) limp body, when they took her away Nuada didn't waste time to follow them, and when they tried to stop him from coming into the vehicle with them he gave one murderous glare, which silenced them.

 Hellboy can't deny it anymore he knew what he has to do.

 ---

 Hellboy made his way through the hallway of the infirmary searching for a particular couple. The moment he that his sister was awake he hurried out of his room to go and see her. when he came closer to the room he slowed down for her heard laughter. He peeked inside to see (Y/n) awake and well with Nuada beside her, his hands holding hers tight. Both of them were smiling at one another and chuckling. Hellboy was relieved that they had gone back together, he was tempted to just leave them to have their moment because he knows they needed it, but he still had this burden that won't go away unless he acts.

 "I am sorry." He said making (Y/n) jump in surprised, Nuada however wasn't probably already knew he was there hiding.

 "Red, It's alright you." Said (Y/n) with a reassuring smile.

 "It is?" Hellboy asked with a raised brow.

 "Yeah…" She started. "It was my fault I should have listened to    Nuada and stayed behind instead of forcing my way in the mission. Next time I promise to stay behind in major mission."

 "No… it's not about that...I mean I AM sorry for not protecting you but the apology was….for.. something else…"

 When he saw the confused look on (Y/n) face Hellboy sighed in defeat.

 "I am sorry for getting in your way… with Nuada I mean." He admitted. "I still don't like it when I see him with you… but high what brother does like to see his baby sister get all chummy with his Ex-enemy or any guy of that matter really!"

 He chuckled awkwardly when he got no response.

 "I just wanted to say I am sorry to have yelled at you and said you were still little." He turned to Nuada. "And I am sorry for accusing you of being unfaithful to my baby sister-… I mean (Y/n)."

 A smile spread on (Y/n) face when she heard him say that, she got up from the bed with ease and went to give Her brother a tight hug which he returned.

 "Apology accepted." She stated then slowly pulled away from him. "And you can still call me your baby sister, just don't treat me as one too much."

 "I'll try." Hellboy chuckled at that statement.

 "Hmmm…."

 They turned and looked at Nuada who had a dissatisfied look.

 "What an apology is no good for you?" Asked Hellboy annoyedly.

 "Actually, no it is not." Said Nuada as he stood up from his chair. "You Hellboy had stabbed my honor, accused me of adultery and even if you walked through every hall in this establishment and shouted my innocence the humans would still whisper of how I am a "Cheater", as you call it."

 Hellboy sighed annoyedly at Nuada's words, but for his sister, he will get over it.

 "And what do you want me to do about it?" He asked wanting to get over with it.

 "I just want you to stand there and watch." Said Nuada with a smirk as he took (Y/n) hand and walked her a safe distance from the red demon.

 "Watch?" Asked Hellboy confused. "Watch what?"

 "This."

 Nuada almost purred his words as he wrapped his arms around (Y/n)'s waist, pressing her against his, which made her yelp in surprise, but she was silenced quickly by a deep kiss from Nuada. (Y/n) had missed Nuada too much so instead of fighting back she gave in to the passion and let herself melt in the elven prince arms as she kissed back, letting out a small sigh of satisfaction.

 Hellboy's eyes twitched at what he saw and when his body started to shake Nuada saw this as his cue to pick up (Y/n) bridal style and run away from the angry red demon.

--- 

I hope you all enjoyed this fic and will look forward for more, I Can’t take more request so please be patient and thank you.

[yumgrapejuice]

An analysis on Ranboo’s lore playlist

okay y’all first of all, ranboo has a killer taste, i love him, and second, i couldn’t resist. i’m an analyst by nature. am i looking too deep into some things? did ranboo maybe choose some songs purely for the vibe? perhaps. do i care? no. let me have my fun.

I’m gonna drop my own analysis/interpretation based on these songs but feel free do use this yourself if you want!! And also feel free to disagree/correct me on anything!! I’m not a professional musical analyst lol and I did take some inspiration from already existing interpretations for the more lyrical songs.

here’s the playlist btw

“Introduction to the Snow”—introduction to the album. Fitting for the playlist’s beginning, seeing the tone. It’s mostly referencing (self-imposed) isolation.

“Dream Sweet in Sea Major”—this Miracle Music’s whole album is about dreams and reality, how they clash, loneliness and the wish to be close to someone, yet still remaining isolated. Very whimsical, metaphorical, melodic, and it has this vibe as if on the edge of consciousness. I’d say it fits quite well with c!Ranboo’s general vibe. This song in particular deals with sleepwalking(ha)/being in a dreamlike state, the line between what’s real and what’s not blurred.

“The Mind Electric”—oh this one fits Ranboo extremely well. First part is in reverse, the second in normal (mirroring), and it can get quite unsettling. Like you’re not sure what’s happening with the instrumentals, many different voices. Again, very metaphorical, but to put it shortly, the protagonist is being judged for a crime they’ve committed and, in their defence, they say: “Father, your honor, may I explain, my brain has claimed its glory over me; I’ve a good heart albeit insane”. They get “condemned to the infirmary” for that, where electric shock is used on them as a form of “therapy”. As a result, the protagonist loses grip on reality and themselves and truly does go insane. They beg for mercy and sympathy, but there’s no one to help them. “Someone help me; Understand what's going on inside my mind; Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me”—need I say more, really?

“Live and Let Die”—the phrase “live and let die” means to live your life how you wish and let others live how they wish without interfering. At first, you live by the phrase “live and let live”, meaning you have your ideals and you try to change the lives of others according to them, but as life progresses, you stop caring as much/try to distance yourself from others’ business.

“Turn the Lights Off”—dreams and nightmares. Mildly foreboding yet energetic. The actual meaning is about growing up (transition from childhood to adulthood), but we can take some other interpretations that’d fit with Ranboo’s character better. This Tally Hall’s album deals with differences, black and white, and how there shouldn’t be a divide between them. In this song, there are some noteworthy lines that I’d like to mention:

- “Bend the nightmare, you control it; Artful dodger, easy does it”—lucid dreaming, you have to be careful with it so as to not lose control.

- “Shut the closet, get under the covers”—you’re afraid of something and instead of facing it and seeing whether there even is something to be afraid of, you hide.

- “Turn the lights off”—confront your fears. It can also mean that in the dark, there’s no differences between people, going back to the album’s meaning.

- “And everybody wants to get evil tonight; But all good devils masquerade under the light”—this could mean that everyone has a darker part of themselves but those who actually indulge in their dark tendencies do so in plain sight by pretending to be someone else.

“Ruler of Everything”—the main theme here is time and how it’s the “ruler of everything”; time doesn’t matter about where it goes, and it will never stop. The second verse is most interesting to me—there are two singers, man and time, but for the sake of interpretation let’s just see it as two voices. One is obsessed about being liked, fitting in, constantly asking for reaffirmation (“Do you like how I walk? Do you like how I talk?”), while the second criticizes the first (“You practice your mannerisms into the wall”). They argue—”I’ve been you, I know you, your facade is scam; You know you’re making me cry, this is the way that I am”. The second is calling out the first for not being honest to himself. Tone is lighthearted but with an edge of unease.

“Merry-Go-Round of Life”—from Howl’s Moving Castle soundtrack. The title’s self-explanatory, I’d say.

“Killer Queen”—this one’s a harder one to interpret in regards to Ranboo lol. The song is about, based on an interview with Mercury, a high class woman that likes to indulge in her various desires (mostly sexual). I would doubt that’s what Ranboo was going for, so! Perhaps about a person that has no regards for their reputation and instead does whatever they feel like it? They have a certain image but still act however they like. Yeah, not too sure about this one :’) But that’s what I’ll go with for my later analysis.

“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”—quite straightforward. A person that performs bad deeds has reasons for them. Not excuses, but explanations, and you can sympathize with it. We all do “bad” things for one reason or the other, and, in the end, we’re all just trying to get by. Once again, plays into the theme of there not being a clear distinction between good and bad.

“The Bidding”—another harder one to interpret. On the surface, it’s about an auction where men are trying to sell themselves to women. They all present themselves in different images, and it’s remarked that the women care less about the date and more about the prospect of it, the pretty words. The date, actually, ends up being disappointing. Could be about expectations. Some men outright admit they’re assholes so whoever chooses them should know that. People can tell you what their intentions are from the start so if you end up hurt, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

“A Mask of My Own Face”—another interesting one! Unusual instruments, strong beat. They’re singing about how they have a desire to pretend to be someone else while secretly still being themselves. “I’d rob my own apartment and I wouldn’t give a damn; I’d blame it on the person that nobody knows I am”—implying they have no regard for their own livelihood and are just out to have some fun. Plus, that no one would be aware it’s all an act. “I'd wear it on Thanksgiving and I'd laugh in the parade; At all the people hissing, knowing I'm the one they hate”—they take delight in the idea of upsetting others and them not knowing it’s actually the singer that they should be hissing. “And at the big finale I would tear my face away; And smile as they grip their own and try to do the same”—everyone wears masks, and this person implies that their mask and their true self is not different from each other while others’ are.

“Stardust Crusaders”—soundtrack from Jojo. Action-packed? idk never seen it sorry lol

“I Can’t Decide”—oh, this one’s a doozy! One of the ones that do not fit c!Ranboo at all, but that’s what makes it interesting. A classic, the singer is out to have fun, very lighthearted and yet they’re singing about murder. The protagonist here is clearly mentally unwell and they’re indecisive whether they should let their enemy/toy/(up to interpretation) live or not. Some curious lines:

- “It’s not easy having yourself a good time”—in the context of the song, that “good time” implies something wicked.

- “I’m not a gangster tonight, don’t wanna be the bad guy, I’m just a loner, baby, and now you’ve got in my way”—they don’t view themselves as “bad”, however, the next two lines are paradoxal—the singer says they’re alone and yet decide to “mess around” with whoever comes up in their life.

- “No wonder why my heart feels dead inside, it’s hard and cold and petrified”—signifying lack of empathy.

- “It’s a bitch convincing people to like you”—they don’t actually want to do that and see it as a bother.

“Stranded Lullaby”—back to Miracle Musical, back to the theme of isolation. Super lyrical, super musical. They talk about how their memories float around aimlessly in their head, a sea, and may sometimes get lost. The protagonist, a sailor, is losing touch with reality and can’t tell apart what’s a dream anymore and what’s not. They question what they’re going through and why.

“Hidden In The Sand”—a song about longing, in my eyes. The protagonist sings about how “you” love things and how he wishes to love the same things, in the end admitting that “all I’ve wanted was you”. They don’t wish to be separated, they wish to have someone in their life that they could love.

“Now I’m Here”—euphoric. They sing about how they’re alive again, thanks to one specific person. I’m not gonna go too much into this one (partly because it’s a more difficult one for me again, partly because it’s Queen and I don’t wanna uhh talk nonsense on accident lol), but what I got from it is that when one one else saw them, someone did, and they made them “live again”, and now as a result the protagonist is devoted to them.

“&”—really highlights Tally Hall’s album’s theme of black and white and that there shouldn’t be a divide. The repetition of comparing opposites is present throughout the entire song (Weak & Strong & Wet & Dry…) and it’s heavily implied we should “say goodnight” to this mindset. But people love to choose sides, put things into good or bad categories. By the line “They took a lesson from their fathers” it’s implied that people don’t develop this mindset by themselves and are rather influenced by others around them. The whole album is titled “Good & Evil” and Tally Hall examines and criticizes this idea. If we keep dividing people into good and bad, eventually, we’ll all destroy ourselves.

“I’m Gonna Win”—a song about someone who’s struggling to get by. “Sometimes it can seem like a merciless dream”—life can get really hard and the protagonist wonders “what’s really worthwhile”. In the chorus, whoever, they declare that they’re “gonna win” no matter what. They might get “bloody and bruised” but they won’t give up until they “won’t be abused” and until they’re “laughing alone”. No matter how hard life/others kick them down, they’ll keep going. By the lines “It’s hard to be charming and smart and disarming; It’s hard to pretend you’re the best; It’s hard to fulfill everyone’s expectations; It’s hard to keep up with the rest” it’s implied that they find it tiresome to keep up appearances and be liked. It’s challenging to always fit everyone’s expectations, but they’ll continue doing whatever they have to to “win”.

if ranboo ever adds more songs to his playlist, i may add them here too :) 

[letteredlettered]

Absolutely no pressure to answer if u don't want to but how did u and ur girlfriend meet? U guys seem really cute together.

We are insanely cute together.

This is a long story that doesn’t need to be this long, but whatever. I love my girlfriend and you asked, so here you go.

Last spring I was writing That Lesson Alone, which was making me rethink a lot of things I’d already thought a lot about before. That rethinking made me promise myself to be more open to new experiences, which I try to be, but I do let my social anxiety drive quite a bit of what I do.

So, when I got an email from a fan who said she was going to be in what she thought was my hometown, and she loved my fics, and was I interested in meeting, I said yes. She mentioned she had left a comment on one fic and that we had had a little conversation; I remembered this comment in particular because the personal story in the comment was rather sensational and quite interesting. Still, I might not have agreed to meet, because it could be very awkward. I don’t like talking to strangers with faces. However, because of That Lesson Alone, and because she was fannish, I agreed to the meeting. (I like meeting strangers who are fannish far more than strangers in any other circumstance. At least you can talk about fandom with strangers who are fannish, and I’m very interested in fandom. You can talk about work with work strangers or the bus with strangers you meet at the bus, but most real things bore me so I struggle with these conversations.)

This person sent me another email in another language, which stymied me for a little while about how to reply, but then she quickly sent me another email saying the first email was meant for someone else; the someone else also sounded sensational. When she got to my hometown, she emailed to say she had arrived, but only had a vague idea of when she was leaving, and she had no concrete plans so could meet any time. I began to get the impression that this person was, how do you say, A Ride, by which I mean one of those people who is interesting and clever and sensational but also extremely non-linear and flighty and difficult to understand. I mean she was halfway around the world and didn’t know when she was leaving; she sent the wrong people emails; the people she told me she knew were sensational; she was perfectly bilingual; she was totally down for meeting random strangers. I have a friend who is A Ride. She is what the Sisters at the Abby would call a flibberty-gibbet, a will-o-the-wisp, a darling, a demon, a lamb.

I wanted to meet on a weeknight (I don’t know if you know this, honey, but I told you I wanted to meet on a weeknight because I was busy, but although I can always be busy, so it wasn’t strictly a lie, this wasn’t my main motivation. I wanted to have an excuse to only have a small window of time to meet so that I could get away if it was too awkward), but on the night we arranged to meet, I was unwell. I was in fact entering the worse part of what I have now learned is a chronic illness. Usually this would be enough to convince me to cancel altogether, and to this day I’m shocked that I didn’t. Is it becoming clear that I don’t like meeting anyone and never ever date? Anyway, because of That Lesson Alone and my determination to be open to new experiences, we rescheduled.

I bused to the restaurant where we met after work and then walked from the bus. I remember this walk. I remember doing the thing that I do to prepare myself for social situations I don’t like, which is not letting myself dwell on it too much, reminding myself that I am actually rather good at making other people feel comfortable when I make the effort, reminding myself to ask questions, reminding myself I could get away, reminding myself that people actually find me quite personable and even vivacious, because I am, but if it’s with strangers, only if I fake it hard enough. These little reminders get me into game face, the face I use for dealing with other people.

Anyway, when I met her, she was very tall. This immediately made me more comfortable, as I am very tall and often feel awkwardly large around other people. And then the first thing she told me was that she had been watching something happy and queer, which meant we could not only talk about fannish things but also queer things. But was she going to be one of those people who just went on about straight things being dull? That always makes me uncomfortable.

Luckily, she doesn’t talk that way, and it was such an amazing conversation, the kind of conversation you dream about having with the love of your life, but the one you doubt you’ll have when you actually meet the love of your life. You imagine when you meet the love of your life you’ll have a conversation that goes, “Pass the salt,” and maybe you’ll talk about the weather, and then a few weeks later you meet them again and talk a little more about something equally uninteresting. Not until months pass by do you realize how much you have in common and how much you like being near them, and then you will start to talk about the things that truly interest you, and after years, you realize they’re the love of your life.

Most of the time, when you have a really stunningly good conversation, you don’t assume you’re talking to the love of your life. You assume it’s a once in a lifetime conversation, with a once in a lifetime person, and you never see them again, because they are too smart and too cool and too tall for you. Or, you do see them again, and you keep seeing them, because they are so mystic, so magical; they are so stunning and intelligent and intellectual; they make you feel so much, you just want to talk to them and talk to them and talk to them. And the more you talk, the more you find out that behind the magic, there’s actually not much that you have in common. Sometimes you find out that they trot out the same sensational stories on every occasion; they make the same jokes you found so witty over and over; you find out that everything that was glossy and new about them is something old that has been polished to shine, with very little you can hold on to and firmly understand underneath. Other times you just learn that your moral centers diverge, or you don’t actually like them. There is no fire beyond the initial spark.

This is just not true of my girlfriend. She is still smart and still cool and still sensational and, very importantly, still tall. I would not describe her as A Ride. She’s not one of those people who makes you feel like you have to sit back and hold on; though she’s endlessly clever, she can explain her thought processes and likes to; she thinks deeply about herself and others and listens. She’s so thoughtful and interesting and clever and also deeply passionate and exuberant about so many things that when you’re with her you can create a ride together that both of you drive or both of you sit back and enjoy. (She didn’t know when she was leaving my hometown because her flight back wasn’t for a long while, but she was traveling down to Oregon and California, and hadn’t bought train tickets yet, and we solved how the mistake was made on the email. We are guessing it was an autofill accident, since the person she was trying to email has a name that starts with the same letter).

She is reliable. She has a whiz-bang, knock-you-flat kind of memory, that not only remembers facts and conversations and locations but that remembers how you are feeling, and remembers to ask. She has the kind of broad-yet-also-piercing intellect that can follow an abstract conversation and build on it, even when you’re in the territory of feelings and concepts without names. She always wants to talk about her feelings, which makes me want to genuflect with gratitude, and she’s so hot she’d probably light a candle if she touched its wick. Like definitely keep her away from flammable substances. She’s creative and theatric and theatrically creative. She has big dark hair and curvy hips. She’s generous and accommodating and care-taking in a way that doesn’t negate her own self-interest. She’s gentle. She’s kind.

But anyway, so we got to talking, and it was one of the best conversations of my life, and I got on a bus and went home, very proud of myself for having accomplished A Social Thing, and telling myself, “See? Social Things are not always bad.” She had mentioned that she would be in town a little longer if I wanted to hang out again, but that would just be crazy, as having to do anything social twice in one week is a strain for me, much less with someone I don’t know. But the truth is, I already felt like I knew her, and leave yourself open to new experiences, said That Lesson Alone, and when else was I going to meet a magic person?

Also, I should mention, which I’m not sure I’ve mentioned to her, but I am suspicious of magical people. When I meet magical people I assume they are vampires underneath, by which I mean they are putting on an act, as I said above, or they are one day going to get you in a very difficult situation, because they are A Free Spirit, which, eventually, you find out means they think crime is fun, or something. I’m just a suspicious person, okay.

But we did hang out again. And that was also magical. And I invited her to my apartment, something I’ve barely done with anybody and never ever ever in my whole life with someone I’ve just met. And then I thought about having sex with her, which is something I basically never think about. And then she left town and said she might be in love with me, but at this point I still A LITTLE BIT thought she might be A Ride, in which case she probably fell in love with people all the time.

Usually when I meet someone very cool I assume they don’t want to pursue friendship with me, because they probably have way too many other friends. I think we’ve all been in the situation of knowing someone very popular and realizing that we do not mean as much to them as they do to us. I am always wary of investing too much emotion in someone who does not have the capacity to equally invest in me. However, because investing time in people I don’t know well is such a commitment for me, I’m also frequently guilty of just ghosting people. I often don’t respond to texts or emails. I often just drop people, without ever really meaning to. Part of it is how intently I focus on things—it’s difficult for me to be pulled in many directions at once, so it’s easier to have a few good friends rather than many casual ones. But part of it really is self-confidence, assuming people don’t want to know me.

However, writing That Lesson Alone reminded me that I am allowed to pursue friendships. It made me realize that a lot of my assumptions about people not wanting to know me are my own self-confidence issues, and not actually other people not wanting to know me. Writing That Lesson Alone reminded me I was worth knowing.

So, we kept talking. I was still late to replying to some emails, but I eventually did reply. I even got a new messenger app just to talk to her. We both have an interest in theater. I was directing a play. She expressed interest in seeing it. She was going to be in Canada when it opened. I told her if she wanted to see it she could stay with me if she wanted. I’d never really done anything like that before. She said yes. I still didn’t really think it would happen—but it did. She came to stay with me for a week that summer. I remembered thinking about having sex with her. I remembered thinking she might be open to it.

One of the things I wanted to be open to when I was writing That Lesson Alone was the idea of dating. I used to think that if I was open to dating, I would have to be open to dating lots of people I didn’t want to date; I thought dating meant you had to give everyone “a chance” and suffer through a lot of “pass the salt” just In Case. That’s why I didn’t date. I have actually been happy being mostly single most of my life. I never really felt a strong need for a partner, except in some sadder lonely moments, and even then, I wanted to be alone more than with someone who was just “pass the salt” okay. But one revelation I had writing That Lesson Alone was that I didn’t have to give everyone “a chance.” I didn’t have to give anyone a chance. I could just be open to dating, and look at what was out there (OK Cupid), but if nothing appealed, I didn’t actually have to do anything, since I already knew I was happy being alone. So, I thought more about what would be appealing, so I could know what I was open to.

I realized the person I wanted was tall (natch). With big dark hair. They like reading and talking about fiction and fictional characters. They can have abstract conversations about philosophical topics. And they are caring and accommodating in a way that can deal with an acerbic nature like mine, but they are also self-aware enough and assertive enough to be honest when I’ve hurt them. And they aren’t acerbic back.

This is a tall order. (hahaha) I thought about it a lot, because I really am harsh sometimes. I try not to be. I try very hard. I just get snappy when I’m tired or stressed, and even though I think about it deeply and put measures in place so that it won’t hurt other people, and I reflect on my own behavior and make apologies, I still hurt people. And despite all of this I’m still hurt by anyone that acts like me. I can deal with it! In fact, lots of times I like it, as lots of people like that (myself included) tend to be blunt and I love blunt, because I love knowing where I stand with people. But I also know that, as a rule, I just cannot be extremely close and spend my life with someone who will snap at me. I’m just too sensitive.

Anyway, over this week she stayed with me, I realized she actually was the only person I’d ever met who fit all of these qualifications. She was someone I would date if she was local. Meanwhile, she made it pretty clear she was really, really into me, which was also something that had never really happened to me before. If people have been into me before (which I still doubt, but who knows), they haven’t made it clear. If they thought they were making it clear, they didn’t realize that I am someone who needs heavy, heavy hints in order to understand flirting, even when I see it happening to other people. But luckily my girlfriend is pretty great at making what she wants clear. She made it really clear she wanted me.

So, well, things happened. I told her I wished that we could date and she could be my girlfriend. She asked why we couldn’t. I told her I thought the distance thing was an obvious problem. She didn’t think it was. So then I had a girlfriend, and she did too.

The end.

PS I love her.