#making some use out of my “secondary” fish research

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #695

Amanda’s flasher wrasse!

This species was only very recently named and discovered. It used to be considered a part of the red-tailed flasher wrasse species, but genetic studies and morphological differences prove that this Australian fish is its own distinct species!

[namu-the-orca]

Arctic Odontocetes

And here's the three other Icelandic whales poster illustrations. All true Arctic species, roaming the frigid water of the high north. While Atlantic white-sided dolphins can occasionally be spotted along European shores, Narwhal and Belugas roam the true ice seas.

Narwhals are famous for their rather striking dentition: the huge, up to 3 meter long tusk, is hard to miss. It's actually their left canine tooth - every once in a while the right canine erupts too, making for a double-tusker. It's usually only males who are so adorned, as only a very small number of females (15%) bear tusks.

The exact function of the tusk is still debated: originally thought to be a simple weapon, now it is mostly thought to serve as a secondary sexual characteristic, inducing status in the bearer. The bigger the tooth, the sexier the man. However, researchers suspect they may have many more functions. Through the tusk run thousands of nerves which enable Narwhals to sense differences in water temperature and salinity. On top of that tusks have been observed to aid hunting and social interactions between males, and perhaps more. And the occasional Narwhal has been found with a broken tusk embedded in their cheek. So perhaps some good ole fashioned fighting happens after all, though no one has ever observed it happening.

The tuskless females survive just fine without them though and often live to be even older than males (up to 115 years!), so the advantages can't be that critical. Nevertheless it's fascinating to think about. Somewhere out there in the ice cold seas where we would freeze to death in an instant, swim whales - fellow mammals - sensing the waters with their 3 meter long canine tooth, occasionally slapping a fish unconscious. A wholly alien experience lived by an animal not so essentially different from us.

Atlantic white-sided dolphins may be far less mysterious, but nevertheless amongst my favourite delphinids. They've such beautiful markings. And the beluga... no doubt well known too as living marshmallows. I must say that youtube videos of their melons and fatty flabs being wobbled is great watching material.

Also - the "Whales of Iceland" poster is officially up for sale! You can nab one at Pappyr's website here. Not sponsored or anything, I just think the poster turned out super neat.

[doinsomethingdaily]

I feel like many people care about this but there is a lot of mis-information or one sided- information going around.

(Sources; I study environmental sciences. I have followed an course on marine litter and am currently doing my end research paper on microplastic pollution in surface water. I have used some papers for this, if you want them I can put them in the comments I think)

What I really want to put out there is that the problem is divers and that personal action and industry reform both are needed.

1. Plastic pollution is obviously a large problem. Think of the Atlantic garbage patch. But also in our own environment. More recently microplastics have been of growing concern. (there is even nanoplastics, but I am not going there)

2. When talking about plastic pollution there are many terms that are used to indicate different things.

- plastic pollution: all plastics currently in the environment that do not belong there

- marine plastic: plastic in seas and oceans

- microplastics: often classified as plastic particles under 5 mm, they are found in water, air, earth, Antarctic ice, human food and our bodies

- primary microplastics: plastic particles that enter the environment as particles under 5mm

- secondary microplastics: particles that come from larger plastics that are degraded.

With this wide variety of plastics to talk about sometimes the waters get muddies. I hear a lot of 'x is the main source of microplastics'. The simple truth is: we do not know what the main source is of most of these. But we do know what the biggest contributers are.

Plastic pollution: mostly land based sources of single use plastics. Recycling is still almost never viable or implemented. Research indicates that up to 80% of produced plastics each year ends up in the environment. That seems like a lot. ( This number probably counts landfills, which are also in the environment. stuf that goes to landfill does not magically disappear. )

Marine plastic: most marine plastic seems also to be from landbased sources. However, most of the plastic sinks. Yet, The great Pacific garbage patch is made up of almost 50% fishing gear (appearantly more buoyant?) Both of these are major problems.

Microplastics:

Primary: these come from tires, paint, washing clothes, cosmetics and other personal care products, but also the production pallets that are used to make bigger plastic products are a major source.

Secondary; these come from all the bigger plastic pollution (so land based litter for example) braking down in the environment. Currently the majority of marine microplastics seem to be secondary.

3. It is hard to measure the precise main source or sources of plastics because it is hard to monitor them. They move through the environment. The total amount of plastic amount to tons. Some sink to the sea bottoms or are currently somewhere in the atmosphere. Monitoring protocols for microplastics are still being established. So there is no absolute answer about most things right now.

4. What do we know: obviously humans are the source of plastics. Plastic need hundreds of years to break down. Most current research seems to indicate that microplastics will have negative health effects. You probably have plastic close to you right now.

Yes, we need to reform the industry large scale. Plastics should be used for the things where they are invaluable such as for medical applications and such. But we need to cut back on other uses of plastics. And we need good recycling. This one is going to be harder because of the many kinds of plastics and the limits on how many times it can be reused.

However, as an individual, you can help. I am certainly not saying everyone needs to go "zero waste." But even if you are switching out little things, you do have an impact. Further more, reducing plastics and microplastics might be healthier for you.

[themesopelagiczone]

hey! who the fuck is that guy?

i'm that guy. hi. it's me. i like birds and fish and creatures and stuff.

i reblog tons of art and pictures and info related to the environment, aquatic life, and biology but i'll also post my own earth facts - hopefully daily, but no promises there.

i tag animal death and gore, but you can always ask me to tag other triggering subjects. you can also request creatures through my ask box, and i'll do my best to answer any questions through my ask box as well! feel free to submit friends as well. life gets busy, so i might not be able to post as much as i'd like.

i am a minor and i'm NOT a professional in any field, and have NOT gone to any post-secondary schooling for anything related to biology or oceanology in any way. i'm just some guy that really likes this kind of stuff. i try to do as much research as possible, but my earth facts may not always be factual. i'll link any and all resources used when i do post.

some of my tags:

twilight zone talks — posts i make that aren't facts

earthposting — my own facts (i also keep count in the tags)

facts! — umbrella tag for my own facts and facts from other people

aquatic — aquatic animals & water-related things in general. i'll try to tag with species names as well, when i can figure out what the creature is

terrestrial — land animals & non water related things (e.g. plants, birds, rocks). again, i'll try to tag with species names

art — super awesome swag cool art!

asks — asks i get. my ask box is always open! please talk to me please i swear i'm actually really fun

𓆟 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ ���⋆｡˚ 𓇼 𓆛��｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊ 𓆟

[chelseydavidson]

My Progress - Week 8

What is working?

Frankly, not much – I’m getting a bit pessimistic, if I’m being entirely honest.

I’ll chalk the Facebook groups I joined as a pseudo-win (more on that below), but not too much else – while the Facebook groups haven’t netted any leads as of yet, they do have my target audience, so I’m holding onto some hope. I’m also preparing to pivot to a paid digital marketing strategy.

I also looked into setting up a Craigslist account, which will cost me $5 to run for 30 days. I’m a little nervous because I heard about Craigslist being a bit of a sketchy platform with scammers and stalkers and setups (oh, my), so I’m a little reticent about using my credit card on a platform with that kind of reputation. However, Craigslist is very much committed to local focus, which could be helpful for generating concentrated interest strictly in Durham Region. 

What is not working?

Pretty much everything else.

So, I received absolutely no word from the Unschooling Association, despite BCCing all the leading members of the board and the specific representatives for my area. 

My local library doesn't do any promotion of small businesses to support them -- only for not-for-profits and other free services. So, that’s a dead end. (That includes the Pickering, Ajax, and Whitby systems.)

My Kijiji ad was taken down this week. There was an issue with the category I placed it in and they want me to resubmit in a different category and pay a fee to repost it. I’m on the fence about Kijiji’s effectiveness as it is, and the fact that I couldn’t test it out organically before opting in for a paid option, makes me quite nervous. I’ll need to do more research before I sink money into it. 

Facebook got back to me the same day saying that they are “not the channel to deal with this issue. Please troubleshoot using the website.” I only contacted them because the website didn’t offer support setting up an account when the email address isn't being recognized as valid (my guess is the domain name is confusing it, but who's to say?). The website support only stems from already being a user. This would be, in my opinion, an absolute failure in customer service, but I don’t see Facebook hurting none. In a fit of frustration, I used my existing personal Facebook profile to post a Facebook Marketplace ad. It looks pretty much like the Kijiji ad did, but so far, it's managed to stay up. No bites, but still fishing.  

I also joined two Facebook groups - a Durham Region Bulletin Board group and a Toronto Tutors group (which covers the GTA as well) - and posted in the discussion to potentially generate interest. Unfortunately, no one has contacted me from the groups yet. Since I did this recently, I’ll leave a little time to see if this effort gains any traction. 

How do you feel the project is coming?

I’m in full-on Debbie Downer mode.

Despite feeling deflated, it hasn’t stopped me from continuously exploring more opportunities. I’m also actively researching ways to advertise best to parents online, because I am definitely leaning towards paid options. I have considered printing flyers as well and distributing them at children-focused events as they crop up now we're in the springtime or handing them out near or at locations that cater to providing lessons for children. 

I’m getting increasingly nervous about how close we’re getting to summer break. The end of June is just around the corner (and for many post-secondary students, their programs have ended until the fall) and parents can lose the same commitment heading into the break that they may carry during the schoolyear, making it a rough season for tutoring businesses. 

What are you learning about running a business?

Tenacity is what I am learning, above all else. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. And again. The key to that perseverance is to try something new, though. Sometimes it feels like throwing darts at the wall to see what sticks. Nonetheless, I’ll keep whipping darts. 

I have spoken with my husband, who’s been an entrepreneur for over three decades, and he reminds me that, in a word-of-mouth business like tutoring, the greatest hurdle is getting the first client. If you do right by that first client, the word will get out eventually and more clients will come. I keep reminding myself of this when I feel epically discouraged.

What are you learning about yourself?

I wish could tell you that I was learning I am a marketing extraordinaire that could sell honey to a bee, but alas, no, I am still honing that skill.

I am learning instead that there are limits to my optimism. I like to think that I have a can-do attitude, but I also like control. Getting customers is not something I can control and it does eat away at my normal level of bubbliness. I definitely experienced a bit of a Unikitty moment. 

I am also learning that, in spite of having no control over getting that first critical customer, I am a persevering person. I will stick with it, even if it’s sticking it to me. Here’s to not giving up!

[bouncingkadachi]

More Bug Buddies brain rot (Hunter, Rider, Battle Bug, Baby Bug, Bonus Scenario):

Hunter

My default dudes when I think of IG users are That Guy from the 4U opening and That Dude from the Wilds Weapons Showcase. I just think they're neat. I think for this group I'm trending more towards the weapons showcase guy.

It used to bother him that his kinsect didn't want to chill on his arm like a normal bug and instead wanted to chill on the head of the cooler, bigger bug.

He's made peace with it now he also likes chilling with the cooler, bigger bug and its Rider

His secondary weapon is the Dual Blades

Has a bomber palico who has only become more lethal since they befriended a large bug with a perfect willingness to fling bombs at great distances

The better cook of the two, even though Rider is better at finding new and delicious ingredients.

Rider

Primary weapons is the gunlance because wyvern fire was really cool in MHS2

Power clashes look cool and I feel like as a Rider he'd already have some experiences with that

Lilia submitted his name to join the Research Expedition on Lute's recommendation. They met at a tournament the year before where Battle Bug went up against Lute's Shrouded Nerscylla.

Prior to this expedition, the furthest he's ever traveled was to the Pondry Hills, where said tournament was hosted. His home village is located deep in an old-growth forest

Saw a Light Bowgun for the first time in his life at Base Camp and thought "hey that's cool!" Anyway, now he's learning to use one with mixed results.

Is far more experienced at finding safe camping spots than the Hunter.

Battle Bug

Moveset: Venom Sweep, Paralysis Slash, Sleep Needle.

She hits hard, she hits fast, she'll ruin your day, and then she'll rub salt in the wound

Good at using her webs to reposition monsters, and is good at crowd control

The spines on her back glow when she's bracing herself or when Fortify kicks in.

Has let the Hunter's kinsect take an extract from her before, but only in a pinch.

At night she turns into Guard Bug, including but not limited to thread traps that will alert her if anything large moves in the vicinity of the camp. Sleep easy! Leave camp protection to her!

Both she and Baby Bug provide field support to the team for anything that needs to be patched up on the fly. She likes making fishing nets because she can get snacks out of it

Baby Bug

Likes to ride on the Rider's shoulder or atop his head. Currently at a size and weight where that's still feasible. Great in the early mornings or late evenings to fend off the chill.

"One day you're going to be too big to sleep in the tent with us." Shock! Horror! NOOOOOOO. Deeply upset about the prospect of aging.

Her threads are still white, unlike the trademark red of her dangerous mother. They're not yet sure if she'll gain the pigments naturally as she grows older or if it the pigmentation is diet-based.

Her silk's are already very strong though! And Battle Bug has been teaching her how to aim better. She's already helped them out in some sticky situations, but while she has impressive reach for being a baby, she doesn't yet have the weight and technical skills to handle it optimally, so there's recoil, and she has to brace against her perch to stay in one place.

When BB and co are fighting, she's left on the Hunter's Seikret. Thus, she was inevitably trained to fetch and toss the Hunter's weapons when he wanted a weapon change. It's been good practice on her thread control though, so it's a win-win for everyone.

She'd do it for Rider too, but BB has the market cornered on that.

Bonus Scenario

Picture this: there's a promising site that they want to investigate. Rumor has it that it used to be a village, before the sands came alive and claimed it for their own. They're hoping for some artifacts or murals. Their supplies are prepped. Their destination is logged. They set out.

The Inclemency rolls in while they're on the road. They can hear weird scraping screeches echoing within the storm. It's cozy inside camp.

Interlude: "Hey do you think a Nerscylla's spines can also be a lightning rod?"

Shenanigans ensue. Turns out that yeah, BB can weather the lightning strikes and get her spines to light up. It makes her Paralysis Slash a hundred times worse.

In each lull of the storms, they move forward until they finally reach their site. In the process of securing it, they find several monster dens.

Interlude: "Hang on, I'm going to go steal some eggs." "Right now!? We're a little busy here!"

One of the eggs is interesting because it seems to be humming with some sort of energy. It's probably just a lingering effect of the Inclemency, and it'll probably hatch into a Ceratonoth, but it's interesting enough that Rider tucks it carefully away into the Egg Carton. Maybe their Scrivener or Erik will have some insights when they make it back to base camp

The rest of the eggs are turned into a delicious omelette

Time passes. Against everyone's best efforts, the saved egg hatches.

It's not a Ceratonoth

And that's how Rider ends up with a baby Rey Dau.

Thinking about Bug Buddies again because I cannot get over Lala Barina. Since it looks like the Research Expedition is running several different operations concurrently from the Wilds camp please imagine another unit created to study any historical Rider connections amongst villages and cultures in the Forbidden Lands, given the discovery of the Seikret (palamutes I can understand the Guild not asking questions about, but here's a new domesticated wyvern).

The unit:

Rider and Hunter pair -> heavy hitters

Smithy (2) -> doubled to deal with increased gear demands

Scrivener -> liaison between the Royal Paleontology Scriveners and the Hunters Guild.

Their Rider can't operate a Slinger to save their life, but that's alright because their Nerscylla more than makes up for it. They eventually hunt down a Lala Barina and in true Rider fashion, steal an egg. Now they have a fluffy baby spider. The other units don't quite know how to deal with them but at the same time they're also looking forward to the day when the fluffy bug is big enough that they can all nap in luxurious fluff on their off time. That must be an experience.

The Nerscylla's official name is Battle Bug but we call her BB for short. They also call the tiny Lala Barina "Baby" so if you call one, the other is also scuttling along behind. It's cute if you call for BB and get the baby as an extra. It's terrifying if you call for the baby and get BB looming out of the darkness at you.

[weekend-whip]

*slams hands on table* what was the inspiration behind Olivia’s character and how did you develop her/how has she changed over time

Once upon a time there was this seemingly unnamed yet intricately designed character in The Lego Ninjago Movie that I had always felt could’ve used a little extra polish, especially when it came to making the Shark Army much more of a threat. Upon doing a little research for Book 1 of Legacyverse (as I wanted to incorporate as much movie!DNA as possible, which is also why Jesse is now a whole thing come Book 2) and then learning she had a name, I knew I immediately wanted to use her. 

She would be perfect—a way to have an inside man on the opposite team even with Garmadon’s absence, a middle man to showcase the other side of the story, someone to actually give some heft to the Shark Army’s existence as a whole...

But how? For starters, how do you create a character out of someone who only has scraps of a personality made from about six lines of movie dialogue, one lil’ boss battle in a licensed video game, a love for smoothies/slushies, a penchant for being kinda lazy at a job you’re otherwise pretty passionate about, being somewhat sympathetic, yet still scarily dangerous, sinister, and borderline psychopathic when pushed too close to edge? 

...you turn her into Nya’s best friend, I guess. 

When I was first trying to incorporate Olivia into the world, there was the dilemma of how old to make her. She originally started as an adult (roughly around Tox’s age), but then I couldn’t come up with a non-generic, not necessarily Garmadon-ordered (and not-creepy) reason for why she would’ve been so focused on Nya in the first place, and it would’ve made it harder to make her sympathetic later on. 

So I bumped down her age to 16, put her in the high school with everyone else to allow for more opportunities to actually have her be a character, and turned her into Nya’s friend to establish that initial emotional connection and the eventual tragedy of their fallout *-*)9  

She...was originally going to be a lot colder and distant than she is now (and you can kind of still tell from Chapter 2 of Book 1 and bits of The First Day of School chapters in Book 2), but then her crazier, wilder, louder side started leaking out and her dynamic/rivalry with Kai turned out to be so much fun that I knew I wanted to build on that more, and it wouldn’t have been possible if she was entirely on “the dark side”. So now she is extremely morally gray and we’re vibing with it! Wild Card, baby! Chaotic Neutral!

...and that’s also partially why Bridget became an unintentional Ascended Extra, because someone had to fill the hole Olivia’s original plot line left behind :V

I also made her father the previous General #1 to ground her roots in the army more, and to provide a strong reason for why she’s so dedicated to Garmadon’s cause in the first place (and...why she would stick with it even after things happen). It’s not just what’s she grown up to be able to do; it’s what her father truly believed in, and things certainly haven’t gotten better with Wu hiding the truth of everything...so, what’s really wrong with letting Garmadon destroy the lies of society and starting anew? If she stops following Garmadon...the alternative’s not really much better, is it?

Anyway somehow she’s maneuvered herself into a secondary main character, which I love...but it’s also important not to forget that she’s still an antagonist, even despite having bigger fish to fry at the moment (ha). Like, have you SEEN her slasher smiles?! Nightmare Fuel. I’m not even kidding. Every time I dare to look at the worst ones where’s she attacking Lloyd there’s chills up my arms and I break into a cold sweat my god—

...Ahem. So, for now, let’s just say she’s aboooout 1/3 of the way through her arc. Maybe 1/4 if I wanna be kind. 

@shark-general-1 @asher-hyperfixation-hell I know you guys are Olivia fanatics so this one’s for you too snksnksnk

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph! This is kinda a weird ask but well, I don't really have a reason. Its just that I turned 20 yesterday and I feel so lost, so I was wondering if you had any advice on you know... navigating life in your twenties or something

Hey Nonny!

First off: Happy birthday! I hope it was a good one!

Secondly, Nonny, it's COMPLETELY NORMAL to feel lost at your age, honest to goodness. I certainly felt like my life was going nowhere at that age, being denied from college and stuck working a retail job with no benefits because they refused to give me the final 2 hours I needed to be full-time.

I actually answered a similar ask back in May 2022 from a Nonny who didn't know what they should do now that they were 19, and I think that the advice is fitting for someone in your place as well. The long-short (HAH, spoilers, it’s not short at all) of it is this, plus some extras I missed on that last post:

Get your finances sorted as soon as you're making some money.

You DON'T have to have everything figured out already. It's SO FUCKING ANNOYING that people y'all are supposed to look up to preach the whole grind-set mentality, which in turn makes people feel like utter failures before they're 25. It's SO gross and a horrific way of putting pressure on people that – let's be real – these people only see as chattel for babies or future mindless worker drones who won't question authority.

Take your time to figure out what you want to do. I took a two-year gap between high school and college, and I don't regret it. I didn't go back to school until I was 21. My gap years were used to work. I was also fortunate enough that my parents let me live at home rent-free during this time, so I KNOW that I am more privileged than most. If you can do it though, and it's safe for you to do it, I recommend it. It will give you time to REALLY consider your options and career choices, and not jump from course-to-course and accrue more and more debt.

University is NOT better than Community College. They drill the opposite in your brain when you're in high-school because – guess what – University costs more of YOUR time and money. Absolutely, there are things only Uni can do that you can't at college... think of it this way: if you want a more hands-on career that will give you beneficial skills all across the board, take college. If you want a career that requires a bunch of letters before or after your name, take university. It's literally that simple. I wish someone told me that in high school when I felt like utter garbage for getting denied from university. Now, nearly 2 decades later, I have a fulfilling career that I enjoy, for the most part.

Sometimes, University OR College isn't the answer. A lot of people just don't go on to post-secondary education, and THAT'S OKAY. North America (and probably other continents and countries) have made education a luxury product, something only those who get approved for loans or can afford to pay the admission fees can have. There's NOTHING wrong with being an apprentice for a skilled labour job, or wanting to work retail and want to move up in the company. Sometimes that's YOUR calling. Hoity-toity, entitled people will sneer at the same people who fix the electrical or plumbing work in their houses or make them their no-foam 7$ lattes in the morning, which I've always found rather hypocritical and hilarious. Do what's best for YOU, and not what's best for someone else. Heck, if YouTube is what you want to do, do that. Research. Go to Skillshare or Linda.com and self-teach yourself some useful skills. Do you like to write? Write that novel you wanted to, and fish it out for interest. Are you an artist? Make a serious go at selling your work.

Know your worth. I know it's hard, but please know that you are not any better or worse than someone else. Regardless of your path in life, know that people will pay you fairly for your skill if they're not a "choosing beggar" and know the value of it.

Learn about yourself. I had my journey of self-discovery in my mid 30's. I wish I had it sooner. Since you have the time, maybe start soul searching and asking yourself questions about yourself and what you want to do. It's a scary thing, but in the end, you will come out more at peace with yourself and the world around you.

It's okay to enjoy things, be it fandom, food, entertainment, a place, a hobby, or life itself. Don't let people tell you otherwise.

You're never too old to have fun.

Be your authentic self. Don't be shamed into thinking you're "cringy". And if you don't know who your authentic self is, I direct you to my "learn about yourself" point. I used to put too much value into what people thought about me, and to an extent, I still do care a bit since I sadly have divided myself up into 4 different people: Work Steph, Personal Life Steph, Fandom Steph, and Public Steph. It's a system that's worked for me, but it doesn't for everybody, and I wish now I could be Personal and Fandom Steph for my Public and Work Steph. BUT, again, I try my best to be my authentic self when I can these days... because honestly? Betty from Economics 1A won't even fucking remember your name in 2 years. Billy from Accounting will give no fucks about you after you leave your previous job. It's an unnecessary stress we hold ourselves to, thinking people care more than they actually do. And you know what? If they actually DO care in a way that negatively impacts you, that's THEIR fucking problem, not yours.

Parents and family aren't always right. Not gonna go into the full details here on my own personal story since it can be found across various other posts, but long-short is that sometimes, cutting certain people out of your life for your own sanity and mental health, despite your best efforts to try to keep some semblance of a relationship with them, is the only answer. You'll feel sad, but you won't regret the decision. Reading about psychology as a hobby in my spare time helped me see what was happening wasn't fair to myself, and looking at the situation from an outsider's perspective made me see that the person was doing more harm than good.

Therapy is GOOD, even if it's just a once-a-month thing. Now that I'm finally talking to someone about my own traumas, no matter how minute (and even some I wasn't aware even affected me), I'm finally understanding that what happened in the past wasn't my fault, and that my feelings of self-doubt are valid and we're working on learning self-love.

You don't have to have a significant other in your life to be happy. Another bullshit thing that going to religious schools fucking drilled into my head, was trying to convince me that I needed a man (HAH!) and a child (SNORTS NO THANKS) to feel fulfilled in my life. Well, joke's on them, I am 100% not straight, and 100% do not want kids NOR sex, so LOOOOOOOL (of course, I didn't know about the former until I did that soul-searching thing, heh. The latter was brought about mostly from retail work). Am I lonely? Of course I am, and yes, I DO want someone to spend my days with, but you know what I'm not? I'm never bored, and I make my own entertainment. I go to movies and on trips by myself. I'll eat at a restaurant by myself. It's honestly great. Downside is, though, now I'm FIERCELY independent, and I am REALLY frustrated if / when something disrupts my "normal" day. I need to plan a day with friends WAY in advance so that I can mentally prepare to be disrupted from my "timeline", that other people just don't follow schedules like I do. And that's okay.

Get hobbies outside of blogging. This is more self-advice to me than anything else. Don't let being perpetually online be the only thing you do. Enjoying the outdoors or knitting or going for a run are underrated. Being on Twitter or TikTok all day long is VERY BAD for your mental health. Learn to re-connect with people. I know this is hypocritical of me to be saying as the Tumblr addict that I am, but you're still young, save yourself, my god, lol. Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with spending a couple hours a day online, but unless it's your job, just... find something other than being glued to your phone or computer as a hobby. Playing a video game is just as productive.

Learn to cook and/or do basic home economics, like sewing and cleaning. Another thing they stopped teaching in school. I learned to cook in school. We had a home-ecs course in high-school. I learned basic sewing, and which chemicals should NOT be mixed together to clean. I learned I love LOVE baking. LOVE IT. And I'm an AMAZING baker. It's just TOO fucking hot in the summer to bake in my apt, lol.

It's okay to be stressed, and it's okay to cry as a release mechanism for that stress. I've been mocked in my younger years for crying when I'm frustrated, and in my older years I feel shame when I do. I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because I'm frustrated and stressed and a situation feels out of my control. My therapist told me it's a totally normal response, and I guess I just needed someone to tell me that, so I'm here to tell you that too. Regardless of your gender identity, IT'S OKAY TO CRY.

And branching off of that, you're not showing weakness when you show compassion and empathy for other people. Honestly, this world would be a better place if more people cared about other people in a genuine way.

Which segues nicely into: Never, EVER hesitate to show you care. Love comes in many forms, and saying "I love you" can mean the world to someone. I do it because I genuinely care about people, and because the one time I didn't say it, I couldn't ever say it to that person ever again. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and yes, I get hurt a lot, but for that one hurt I feel, I'm certain that 5 other people genuinely needed to hear SOMEONE, ANYONE tell them that they are loved or that someone is thinking of them. At least that's my hope, anyway.

There's a reason they're called "safe spaces" and even neurotypical people, and people who mock them need them, even if they don't realize it. My safe space is my bedroom wrapped in blankets and hugging exactly 2 pillows, with my phone and an old fave fic queued up in iBooks. Yours might be your car, or a place with lots of people, or an online forum, or heck, even your work's bathroom stall in a pinch. Sometimes we just need a place to go to to re-collect ourselves and mentally prep ourselves to deal with bullshit again. Find yourself a few comfort places, because believe me, as you get older and have to deal with more and more and MORE bullshit in today's economy and society, you will need a place to deescalate your mounting tension. I make sure I have one in every place I go to regularly.

So yeah, not much else I can think of at the moment, but I hope these will get you started. I hope you are alright, lovely, and I am sorry for the delay in a response... I just needed a block of time I could sit down and really give you a heart-felt response.

If I think of anything else, I'll tag them on here, but please know that, again, it's OKAY to feel lost. My lord, you're ONLY 20. You AREN'T supposed to have it all figured out yet!! Just... breathe, relax, and just let life play out the way it's supposed to for you. <3

Love you, Nonny!

And friends, if you have some life experience you would like to share with this smol bean, please do! <3

[fortune-fool02]

Y/n Moreau diary (Moreau little sister Au)

2 October 1948 :

Some brats bullied Salvatore again today. Poor him is still in his room, crying. 

Mother and Father didn't helped too; they overwhelm him with derogatory words : "Get yourself together already!", "Stop crying and be a man!", "You ashame our family!" etc.

I can't even go comfort him. 

Father obliged me to have more science classes and adds economic classes as well; and Mother adds etiquette and good manners classes to my already busy schedule. Evidently, the remarks I made to Salvatore's last "fiance" weren't worthy of a "Young lady coming from a respectable family".

Good for her. Better prepare yourself for the consequences before you insult and put down others. It was really pleasant to see her run from home in tears.

22 November 1948 :

Father starts to keep Salvatore out of family matters more and more these days, and to give me more responsibilities. It's all a bad sign. 

Furthermore, they stop to search a wife for Salvatore and are now searching "suitors" for me.

I should plan strategies to stop them to court/marry me.

I had enough work already...

I can't even spend time with my big brother...

Ball breakers.

8 January 1949 :

My fears are confirmed.

Big brother will be oust from the family and be relegated to the rank of secondary branch. Making me the sole head and heiress of House Moreau. To top it all, Mother and Father have found me suitors. 5 suitors all older than me by at least 10 years minimum. 

Pedophiles...

I am only 10 years old and you want to marry me. Still happy that the wedding will take place when I turn 16-17.

Salvatore is even more withdrawn than ever since the announcement. I think he is thinking that it's all his fault if all of this happen. 

It's not true Salvatore! It's their fault. They never try to understand you or to give you the affection you need.

Don't worry, when I will be the head of House Moreau, I will reinstate you to the main branch.

8 March 1949 : 

It's been just some months since big brother was oust of the main branch and they are already treating him as a slave! How dare they!? Salvatore is their child too. He is even a good doctor at his clinic, even if he is shy and eluted when he talks to his patients. 

And my suitors are constantly in my feet... Sweet talking me, courting me, wanting to spend to with me. Oh please give me a break. You have 6 years to win my heart. Even if you never will, but it's not  nice to crush people's hopes.

How I wish that I already am the head of the family yet.

12 June 1949 : 

My wish was granted. 

Mother and Father died in an accident 2 days ago. 

The funerals are today, but, I don't really feel sad. I mean, my heart hurts because it was my parents and all, but I don't have a breakdown or intense sadness overwhelming me.

Big brother on the other hand... he is devastated. Even after all they put him through, he still loves them dearly. 

Don't worry big brother. I will never abandon you, I promise. 

30 September 1949 :

Since I am the head of House Moreau, everything seem to be better : Salvatore was reinstate in the main branch, my suitors leave me alone, and the house's fortune is going well.

I make researches on the stange fungus which can be found near the village. 

Maybe this mushroom can be use as a medicine. 

5 February 1950 : 

A strange woman came at the house today. She told me she was Mother Miranda, the prophet of the Black God. What crazy joke is this? The black god? Since when a cult like that exists in this village?

I told her, nicely, to go back to her god home and to never come back here again.

I must keep an eye on her, though. She smells troubles. 

4 March 1950 :

MIRANDA YOU FUCKING BITCH! 

This woman talked to Salvatore in his clinic and succeed into making him join her cult of degenerates. And now, he is somewhere in her underground church. 

I must find him.

22 March 1950 : 

Miranda you fucking witch.

You used my brother to lure me to you, to implant me your "Cadou".

Cadou... a gift? rather a curse if you want my opinion. 

I must be glad though. I didn't mutated to become some of her monstrosities, and I am still alive and well.

But Salvatore...

I must check on him again. He is still suffering.

12 May 1950 :

Salvatore is...

I- I don't know what to do.

What happened to him is just... just...

I saw him suffering for days, having so much excrescences forming on him to the point of making him a hunchback. 

His beautiful young face distorted to become more fish-like. He lost most of his long platinum hair, his teeth become crooked. 

He looks like a mons- 

No! He is my big brother, Salvatore Moreau. Not a monster. 

He is already putting himself down enough. He sees himself as a monster. I can't, I must not let him down. 

I promised.

Miranda. I will never forgive you for what you have done. One day I will kill you I swear. 

But if I want to create a medicine to kill her, I need test subjects and incubators.

Maybe those suitors won't be useless after all.

***

This was so cool! Thank you!

[selkie-tea]

Love how there are people on this webbed site who match my freak in this regard.

upon further reflection I realize saying it's based on 'fish behaviour' may have been a bit misleading-- while this was my original idea, upon more research and brainstorming I have decided to base the 'verse on this particular symbiotic triangle, which consists of what our three 'secondary genders' or typeclasses are based on: Fish (using clownfish as primary inspiration), Corals (more technically should be classified as 'polyps' because I'm drawing from corals and sea anemones, but the word 'coral' just sounds better in this context) and Algae (I'm drawing from zooxanthellae as pictured, but I'm still figuring out a more classy-sounding name for them in this 'verse.)

I'll probably make another more ellaborate post with how social structures and different kinds of relationship dynamics work, including illustrations and everything at some point. The simplified version of what I have so far is thus:

Fish:

Fish are the higher class citizens, somewhat comparable to alphas, and traditionally only mate with each other. They are also territorial are incredibly defensive of wherever and whoever they consider to be home.

All 'fish' are born male, but when two become a pair the more dominant of the two will become the 'female'. This designation will not reverse should they loose their partner: a tragic affair as 'fish' in this 'verse have a penchant for mating for life. Also 'males' aren't typically visibly distinguishable from 'females,' and unless the couple chooses to make it known which is which, typically only the pair are privy to each other's phisiology.

They tend to bond quite young (in their mid to late teens) though this is not a rule. Unlike in the omegaverse, the bonding and subsequent maturation of the female is something that happens naturally in response to the development of a deep connection being formed, and doesn’t need to be triggered by a ritual like a bite. It is because of this that the idea of ‘soulmates’ or ‘fated pairs’ is very popular among fish. When two fish become a pair it is much like your traditional Alpha and Omega pair: only the bonded will react to each other’s reproductive cycles and pheromones.

Corals & Algae:

This relationship dynamic is something I'm still working on but Corals traditionally bond with algae, as irl corals depend on algae as a source of energy. Corals outside of a relationship with an algae in this 'verse tend to be chronically fatigued and have very dull colours. Wether or not corals have access to medical supplements in this universe is up to you. The physical features of Corals like hair and eye colour can change depending on the algae they are in a relationship with. While Algae look very much like what we would consider to be normal-looking people, corals in a healthy relatiohship with an algae can have things like purple or blue or pink hair or eyes. A coral in an unhealthy relationship will have very dull colours and probably come across like anemic ppl do irl. This phenomenon is based on the following information:

"In addition to providing corals with essential nutrients, zooxanthellae are responsible for the unique and beautiful colors of many stony corals. Sometimes when corals become physically stressed, the polyps expel their zooxanthellae and the colony takes on a stark white appearance. This is coral bleaching. If the corals go for too long without the nutrients that zooxanthellae provide, coral bleaching can result in the coral's eventual starvation and death." Source

However healthy corals/polyps are very attractive to fish, so throuples and polycules are very common in this 'verse.

I have some homework I need to be doing so I'll leave it at that for now. I will elaborate on how 'non-traditional' relationship dynamics and polycules work in either another post or a continuation of this one. Stay tuned fellow ocean freaks!

(tagging other ppl who asked me to elaborate: @elpsycongruent @dexdefyingstunts )

Hey what if I designed my own omegaverse variant like cakeverse but based off of fish behaviour. What then.

[elaz-ivero]

The Worldbuilding Diaries- Chapter seven; How to establish culture in your work

Image taken from- www.fgukmagazine.com

Fantasy cultures can veer on the side of absenteeism in a story or feel deeply understood and grounded in fantastical realism. When I transitioned from my main characters' perspective in my WIP, The Sun Ballad, to my secondary point-of-view character I entered a completely new world with an equally diverse culture I was bound to unearth. I found myself describing lavish rooms decorated with hand-woven tapestries, trays laden with sweetened milk and manuka chocolate trying to contrast the two perspectives of my characters with their environments.

It's easy when drafting a culture to simply write what feels right for the scene, describing clothing, dance, music and culture to better emulate a feeling or surroundings as opposed to conveying a culture. Implementing cultural concepts should emulate your own cultural design and feel niche in it's design.

This post will cover:

-Creating a distinct and realistic feeling culture

-How to contrast cultures

When creating a culture it's important to communicate a sense of unity in its design, these are a group of people with similar ideas who have not yet grown apart or diversified, although there must be a common ground, a common goal. For example, in the freezing arctic, it might be difficult to convince settlers that fasting is the best way to devote one's self to their chosen god. It's important to think about what percentage of a persons life can be dedicated to supporting a cultural evolution, In a place where life is hard and food is scarce there might not be as much time to whittle wood into little figures of gods or paint elaborate tapestries to gift the new king. Places that are prosperous and established can afford to put energy toward storytelling, arts and culture and people can turn these cultural arts into occupations and live their lives depending and developing it.

Start from the ground, the region, the ideas, the religion and begin working up if your god survived a fight by being protected from encroaching fire, settlers might vouch for modesty and punctuality, with armour on always. Build on, how might rulers and preachers control the populous? With story tales, ideas, threats, warnings on how the gods punish wrong-doers, are defenders of the law dressed in distinctive clothes or are they secretive in their duties taking on the role of spies instead of soldiers. What is enlightenment to these people, what is luxury, what is the worst crime someone can commit and how do they protect themselves from it?

Asking these questions allow you to think deeper on how culture originates, remember there is a reason why we tell stories, why we make things up and add value to shiny rocks and formulate a hierarchy within our groups it's because we're social animals, pack animals at heart. Acceptance and happiness is desired and culture is what is acceptable and what brings one happiness.

Around a laden table, people tell stories of the gods, of hunts and of heroes and villains, they feast on the favoured dishes of the area. What are these foods, if your people live around open seas and little rivers they may eat more fish, crustaceans and shore dwelling plants. If the region is surrounded by thick mountains, mountain lion meat and goat milk might be on the table. I've found that creating a list of all the foods fantastical or not, meat and vegetarian on a list to reference whenever my characters are eating, if they are feasting the delicacies come out. This way the food my characters can access in each region stays consistent and helps cement the culture of the region and its people.

It may also be interesting to explore how do different cultures in your story interact with food, is it something to be respected and treated with care should no one touch another's plate while they are eating, are religious figures required to bless every meal. Research how different cultures interact with their food, is it purely animalistic or inventive in design. How is the food presented and what table manners are vouched for?

People interact with food differently and how a culture or group of people eat can say a lot about their home region and culture.

From headresses to full-length ball gowns, information on your cultures treatment of modesty and accesability of decorative metals can help with a cultures memorability and impact in descriptive scenes. Clothing can be directly tied to a religion or wholly separated, certain characters or groups can be recognizable by a piece of unique attire or emblem. Remember you can also communicate classes through clothing, there will always be a simpler, mass-produced piece of cultural attire common amongst most of the masses. Diversity in cultural clothing is often the result of most of the populace trying to save some of their money and make life easier for them, painted on flowers as opposed to embroidered one, weaving old fabric into new to create a checkered pattern. Do not overlook heirlooms, keepsakes and smaller attire like jewellery and coin purses, clothing tells a story look to your own and see how much it tells you, the colours you like, cuts and fabrics most accesable to you, favoured animals or cuts.

Contrasting Cultures

All of these features and ideas to explore are enhanced when used to compare and contrast two cultures, what are the differences and how do they impact communication and collaboration between two groups. If one group respect and worship deer and another routinly eat it a relationship between the two groups might struggle to form and will likely fail to be established. Always note the impact of a cultural idea or development on others in the surrounding area and take advantage of these differences and dillemas afterall we fear what we do not understand and misunderstandings or mistranslations from one culture to another can create an interesting ripple-effect.

Cementing your characters cultures and worldview is paramount to crafting an interesting and believable world that strays far from our own, never underestimate the power of consistency and clarity.

-E

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Okay! So a day late but here are my thoughts on the magnus archives relisten episodes 1-5!

Long post but one thing that comes up in all of the episodes: Jon isn't the skeptic we thought he was.

Episode 1 angler fish

The institute was founded in 1818 and the apocalypse started October 18 2018 which means... Idk just an interesting tidbit.

Did someone say Jon was bad at technology? At least he had a laptop and could work with it just fine

"impeccably organised library" of course it is! Martin works there and is actually competent you clown of a man!

"there are very few genuine cases" where is skeptic Jon?? Look at him admitting there are genuine cases he's just making sure to research properly before admitting to it. He was not a skeptic just overly critical! Even at the end of angler fish he doesn't deny it and says it's a pretty eerie case!

It seems like the audio recordings start as a side project secondary in comparison to digitizing the statements so we can drop the "Jon only thought the audio was important and had he known how to archive properly he wouldn't have done it" shpiel. Look how few recordings we have throughout the seasons which span years. It shows they didn't put their main effort into them even though they end up being crucial to the Eye.

Interesting how many statements skip over research and are archived directly. If the filing system chosen separates real and discredited they have to do follow ups to make sure it's genuine. Again the archives aren't supposed to do that job but it makes sense why they do.

Sound scape is rough I forgot how much lol. But still there's that creepy static when he says "can I have a cigarette" from the very beginning! Also Johnny's change in tone when the statement starts is very jarring I can't believe I haven't noticed it the first time around.

"I stared at the Stranger" "The stranger asked" accosted by some stranger" Look at that wording hmmm.

Episode 2 do not open

Gillespie you king, how were you so high you agreed to such a dubious deal lol

John is definitely Stranger from that description of him. It's the same description used for breekon and hope.

Joshua Gillespie grew a beard and thought it would work as a disguise lol. I want to see bearded Joshua in the What the Cult. I want Jon to say to him: "... So you kept the beard huh."

"It's funny how fear can just become as routine as hunger" whoops foreshadowing.

"It’s always nice to hear that my hometown is not entirely devoid of odd occurrences and eerie stories. Ice cream, beaches and boredom are all very well, but I’m glad to hear Bournemouth has at least a few apparitions to call its own" Jon's first of his special brand of not funny to anyone but him jokes. And a bit of background we get on him early on!

His dismissal of it because of drugs makes me think there are so many of those that are obviously fake it's just a knee jerk reaction to dismiss the case rather than skepticism.

Episode 3 across the street

Graham is really really strange. What is up with him? The push of the girl into the street, who did that? Who's harassing/following him? What is the deal with his notebooks? They say "keep watching" is that what compelled Amy to keep watching? Is what was harassing him Eye based? Really mysterious.

Maybe the Stranger wanted to steal an Eye victim somehow.

Graham's description sounds eerily like how we describe the Archivist tired greying, "Boring to listen to but interesting to watch". Hmmm

He also acted like his own Archivist with his notebooks! Idk this is really mysterious to me.

"I’d be tempted to dismiss this as hallucination resulting from long-term head trauma complications, but Tim came through with this one and managed to get hold of Ms. Patel’s medical records. God knows how he got them, but he’d better not be using Institute funds to woo filing clerks again". Once again Jon is not skeptical if there is proof. Also Tim ppffftt.

Episode 4 pageturner

Gerry!!! Yessss

His mom is the creepiest honestly

So this was after she died and before her page was burned

"The auction was titled “Key of Solomon 1863 owned by MacGregor Mathers and Jurgen Leitner” and had been won for just over £1200 by a deactivated user - grbookworm1818" lololol Gertrude's username I can't.

Written below it were three lines, in fine green calligraphy: “Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.” oooh eye imagery is not just eye. It's ear and nose as well. Also green theme hello

Wait 2 ex altioras?? And one ended up in his hands and the other at his friends hand, Mike crew?? That's one hell of a coincidence.

"Jurgen Leitner has done the world enough harm and we must pursue all available avenues to ensure that he does no more." see?? Once again not a skeptic but a man with a mission to wipe out the bad Lietner has done.

"Martin couldn’t find any records of Ex Altiora as a title in existent catalogues of esoteric or similar literature, so I assigned Sasha to double-check. Still nothing." yep. Because Martin isn't bad at his job.

Episode 5 thrown away

Not much to say about this one except there was a corroboration between the entities to pull this off. Doll head? Extremely Long thin strip of paper with Latin on it and singed edges? Teeth? Metal heart of Alan? Not one entity that's for sure.

Another person with a compulsion to investigate meeting his Doom. Stop trying to Know it'll only make everything worse.

"but at least it got Martin out of the Institute for an afternoon, which is always a welcome relief." God Jon....

Once again Jon is not playing the skeptic here but saying the evidence is verifyable.

[cheysfishblog]

Swim Bladder Disorder in Fancy Goldfish

For the experienced goldfish keeper, this might be a thing you have heard of before. The floaty upside down fish or the fish who refused to swim to the surface. Some believe there is no alignment or management to the disease, some believe that euthanasia is the only option.

Depending on the type of disorder, I want to bring light and show that swim bladder disorder is manageable. There is no cure but it is manageable.

I have only been keeping goldfish since 2019, I have had not one but two goldfish go through swim bladder disorder.  My first experienced ended in euthanasia of the goldfish. My second experience, my goldfish Mumu, is doing well and going strong with Positive Buoyancy Disorder. We have been through a lot together within the past year of water changes, vet visits, food changes and tank adjustment changes.

I want to make this blog to help others the best I can about this disorder, because I know it’s tough to handle and it can be stressful, but management is key. This can also be helpful to new goldfish keepers.

Now what is swim bladder disorder? So many get confused on how to define it, but here is a simple way to think of it:

It is a syndrome that warns or shows signs of a disease in process or a disease that is coming.

Different variables can predict the disorder. It is important to understand those predictions before figuring out a treatment plan and how the disorder started to begin with. Swim bladder issues doesn't  just appear out of nowhere.

These different constitutes can bring on or worsen swim bladder disorder:

1) Genetics 2) Environment 3) Water parameters 4) Whether the fish was brought or bred 5) Nutrition 6) Background Health History

This is just one step to developing a game plan; you can ask yourself these questions from the constitutes:

1) If possible, are the genetics of my goldfish healthy, did the breeder (or store) buy healthy goldfish? Was the goldfish grown in an environment where there was no sickness, or was the breeding the issue to cause poor immune systems? Did the breeder(s) pass good traits within the goldfish so that sickness will not be present?

2) What exactly was the environment like that the goldfish was raised in or came from? Was there any overcrowding or enough space per volume for fish?

3) Is the water quality up to par or are there swings in variables?

4) Depending on where the goldfish came from, was any other fish showing signs of sickness?

5) What does the fish eat? What is the history of the diet of the fish?

6) If possible, was the goldfish ever sick and was any treatments used, natural or medicinal?

You may be wondering, why should I wonder about this? Well that’s because most of the time, there is something else going on in the fish that is causing the swim bladder to act out, not the swim bladder itself that is at fault.  Hence why this is called a disorder not a disease.

There are two different types of swim disorders that are present in goldfish:

Positive Buoyancy and Negative Buoyancy

FYI: I am NOT going to mention the “goldfish wheelchair” as a solution to dealing with buoyancy issues. The wheelchair is ONLY A TEMPORARY SOLUTION NOT A PERMINANT FIX. It is only used to see if the fish can correct its equilibrium by itself before intervention can happen. If the goldfish is kept in the wheelchair for to long, the fish can develop a bacterial infection from skin irritation. 

Positive buoyancy disorder (for those who don’t know) is when the fish is floating at the top of the surface of the water. This fish is shown to have a very swollen abdomen, severe curvature of the spin, and skin lesions on the spine. The fish has difficulty with locomotion, can act very lethargic, have a sunken face and is faced with the front of the body downwards while the back is up. The fish can also be displaying this while being upside down.

(PICTURES ARE NOT MINE!!!)

There are different reasons why positive buoyancy could be happening to the goldfish:

1) The fish could lack a chamber ( some goldfish depending on genetics and breeding are only born with only one bladder) 2) the fish has experienced trauma that is causing the bladder to swell 3) the fish has a parasitic infection that is causing the bladder to swell 4) the fish could have cancer 5) the fish could have polycystic kidneys, causing hyperinflation of the swim bladder 6) the fish could be experiencing gastroenteritis, over inflation of the swim bladder from improper water quality, unhealthy or not appropriate food,  or physical stress from shipping or fighting. 7) the fish’s bladder could be displaced, from a tumor, mass or cancer that is shifting the posterior chamber out of alignment. 8) The intestines could be compressed to cause  no equilibrium in the swim bladder

Goldfish have not one, but two bladders, called the posterior chamber(caudal)  and anterior chamber(cranial), respectfully. They have an esophagus that connects to the bladder, to inhale/exhale air to inflate/deflate the bladder. Anything else that goes into the bladder that is not air, can be an consult to swim bladder issues. A small piece of skin from the kidneys connects both the swim bladders together. If the kidneys get damaged or diseased, the swim bladder could become inflamed.

Before reaching for the medicine cabinet, there are ways to handle positive buoyancy. If all else fails, see if you can seek veterinary care or if you don’t have a vet, only use medicine if you know the issue needs to be solved with medicine.

Here are some ways to maintain the positive buoyancy while improving the quality of life. This can also be used to rule out other possibilities of causation:

1) Optimal water quality is a must. Keep the environment as neutral as possible. Not to alkaline but not acidic either. To much shifts in water parameters can increase the chance of disease to cause complications in the swim bladder. High nitrate readings and a very alkaline pH causes inflammation.

2)Lessen the amount of protein in the diet. Goldfish are only meant to have a certain percentage of protein depending on age. For goldfish who are having swim bladder issues, the less protein, the better.

NO FLAKES OR FLOATING FOODS!!! Goldfish are not designed to eat these foods because they are Physostomous fish.

3) Maintain a stable water temperature; to low can slow down the digestive system, which can stress the bladder, to high needs more oxygen consumption.

4) Epsom salt and peas. These two ONLY WORK if you know the disorder is caused from an intestinal issue. Epsom salt is a muscle relaxer and saline laxative, while peas gives a small ( not a lot) of fiber to pass stool. If you want to fast your fish, make sure that’s done BEFORE feeding peas.

5) If all else fails, seek veterinary care to ask for an radiograph/x-ray, ultra sound or blood work.

6) Medicine should only be used if the cause is parasitic, bacterial or fungal.

If the goldfish is upside down while showing positive buoyancy, the most likely causing is a parasitic, fungal or bacteria infection, nitrate issue or kidney issue, IF there isn’t an intestinal blockage.

Negative buoyancy disorder is when the goldfish is at the bottom of the tank and is unable to obtain neutral and positive buoyancy. The goldfish could be displaying the same symptoms as positive buoyancy with the only difference being the fish is at the bottom of the tank with skin lesions on its stomach. The fish could be upside down in this position as well.

(PICTURES ARE NOT MINE!!)

There are only two causes of negative buoyancy:

1) A ruptured bladder    or.... 2) A bladder filled with fluid

Negative buoyancy disorder unfortunately doesn't have a lot of options to manage nor a lot of options on how to treat it. The best and recommended choice is to take the fish to the vet, to preform a pneumocentesis. A vet can also be used to see if a bladder has ruptured. Antibiotics can be used after its a confirmed case of infection.

Why an aquatic veterinarian can be helpful:

If you have access to a vet, examinations and water testing can be done to come up with a treatment plan. In the case of swim bladder issues, radiographs or x-rays are mostly used.

These can indicate:

1) If there are any gastrointestinal problems 2) if there is a ruptured or missing swim bladder 3) if a mass, tumor or cancer is present 4) if the disorder is secondary to the inflation of the swim bladder 5) if there are any signs of bacterial, parasitic or fungal infections. !!!6) Euthanasia should be discussed with a vet. If you honestly see in the goldfish of it not being able to live with the disorder or quality of life is questioned, this might be the only option.

All of this might sound overwhelming, depressing, or stressful, but, just remember, management of the symptoms and reading in between the lines can make the difference.

Disclaimer: I am not a specialist, veterinarian, nor professional. Just a goldfish keeper who loves everything goldfish and research.

[nettworkk]

Showcase Your True Potential: How skill sharing can shape thousands of lives

Joe Yakeen Vinitha | Mentor & Business Coach

The first time I heard the word ‘trading-positions’ was during one of my mastermind sessions with enthusiastic entrepreneurs. One of the participants gave an example which used this word and I was like what… But I did not forget to learn that from her and now I do trading!

 While doing all the research, tips & trick of trading, I realized I was becoming a part of a much larger, much more humane community of sharing skills with anybody who wanted to learn just in an attempt to make their lives better. In a way to connect people through their interests on a similar ground, the difference being one person is already adept at the particular field and the others just interested to learn.

To be honest, the concept of sharing skills is not something alien. We have all grown up with it. Take every mother who has taught her child to cook or every father who helped his kid with their homework. Thanks to the internet, skill sharing has become even more popular, allowing people to connect online and benefit from a person and their skillset even though they are physically miles apart.

 As Moses de Maimon, a Jewish philosopher, better known as Maimonides, says: “Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.”

 Here's some more information on how skill sharing works, and most importantly, how it can benefit you, your career, and most importantly, the not so privileged.

 WHAT IS SKILL SHARING?

Skill sharing to put it in absolute layman terms is when people share their skills with others. While it can happen in a formal setting – like a classroom – it can also occur casually at meetups, community centres, and even in people's homes.

 For example, if you may be a freelance graphic designer who wants to learn social media marketing, you can agree to exchange design lessons for a tutorial in an online marketing strategy. Or, if you are a project manager looking to increase your web knowledge, you might take an online or in-person coding course.

WHY YOU NEED SKILL SHARING IN THE FIRST PLACE?

 Every person possesses a separate skill set which makes him unique. But the power of it is not keeping it confined, it's in sharing it. Call that friend who is weak in your favourite subject and help him out. Skill sharing is how we grow stronger as a team.

 It is said the strength of your team is the strength of its weakest person. So why not help them grow? There is only so much we can grow as individuals. Every sector in our lives we need a team to grow. Starting from our family, our primary and secondary education to our peer group and work life. Whether formal or informal, any successful project, be it big or small, has one thing at its core: effective collaboration,   and   you   cannot   achieve   that without knowledge sharing.

 “In our research on knowledge transfer, we have seen companies greatly disadvantaged, if not crippled, by knowledge loss. Certainly, some expert knowledge may be outdated or irrelevant by the time its possessors are eligible for retirement, but not the skills, know-how, and capabilities that underlie critical operations — both routine and innovative. Organizations cannot afford to lose these deep smarts” says Dorothy Leonard, the William J. Abernathy Professor of Business Administration Emerita at Harvard Business School.

 Here are 10 BENEFITS that you can get from sharing your knowledge:

 1.  It helps you grow

As Claudio Fernández-Aráoz put it, “The question is not whether your company’s employees and leaders have the right skills; it’s whether they have the potential to learn new ones”. We can only accomplish a certain number of goals with a limited skill set. But once we start learning new skills the opportunities for us are endless. They say you could learn something from everybody in your life. Let us make sure we actually do!

2.  It helps you stay motivated

Even among peers, skill sharing can play an important role to motivate you to get better at your skills and try to acquire new ones. Seeing your peers showcase their skills pushes you forward in healthy competition as well as a team effort for all of you to develop on your skills. We are all achievers on the inside. Sharing knowledge practices pushes you to become better at what you do while driving you at the same time to contribute with your own insights.

 3.Getting top talent access

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room” the saying goes. Knowledge sharing helps you get feedback and help with your projects from those more skilled or with a different set of competences. You can always reach out to your peers – you’ll be amazed at what they can teach you in no time. Not to mention the access to upper management expertise!

4.Recognition

So many recent studies underline the importance of recognition at work – it is one of the most powerful motivators and will highly contribute to both employee retention and engagement. Sharing your knowledge with others will give your talents more exposure, thus giving the people you interact with the opportunity to identify you as a valuable expert. Helping others can help you build your reputation. And that is a valuable asset!

    5.Generating new ideas

They say two heads think better than one. When different skills and experiences collide, eye- opening ideas and solutions emerge. The creative energy of brainstorming can generate faster and more relevant solutions to your current assignments, supporting you in successfully achieving your tasks. Tribal knowledge FTW!

6.Future leaders’ discovery

Sharing knowledge can be a great tool for everyone to PR themselves. All you need to do is to be permanently connected to the hot business topics and offer your expertise every time you can. When people are open to prove their value through their competence, it’s easier to notice the ones likely to organize people and to take initiative. The leaders of tomorrow are among those.

7.Limiting the skill gap

Your team is as strong as its weakest member. By sharing knowledge and talking about certain decisions and procedures, the new guys or juniors could easily acquire new sets of skills. Create an environment where everybody is encouraged to ask questions and help professionals in all your locations and job positions stay updated with the latest information in their field.

      8.Team cementing and silo breaking

Working as a team gives employees a sense of belonging. When employees, teams, and leaders share ideas and resources with each other, the feeling that they pursue a common goal becomes authentic. The feeling of being part of a functional and collaborative team boosts enthusiasm and empowers everyone to exchange knowledge, breaking down the silo mentality. This boosts employee morale and increases their work efficiency.

 9.Sense of purpose

There is a thin line between employees “sort of doing stuff” and those that have a sense of purpose. By creating an environment where people feel like their knowledge makes a difference, they will clearly see how their work fits in the bigger mission of the organization. Work without purpose is no work at all.

10.Operational efficiency

That is perhaps the most important thing. Sharing knowledge increases the productivity of your team. You can work faster and smarter, as you get easier access to the internal resources and expertise within your organization. Projects don’t get delayed; people swimmingly get the information they need in order to do their jobs and your business fills the bill.

The “Knowledge is Power” adage is long dead as the new reality of the workforce has taught us that sharing knowledge is beneficial to everybody.

Moving one step ahead, I wonder how exciting it would be if we could also earn from our multiple skills!

HOW TO DO THIS AS AN INDIVIDUAL?

Helping others should be a natural extension of every capable individual’s responsibilities. Unfortunately, it does not come as easy as you would think. As privileged and able people, we often get too caught up in operations or our own problems to give people the help they need. However, in the last year, I’ve realized that most of my best clients, partners, and relationships have come from me helping someone for free and for a cost when required.

So how does someone share their multiple skills to the world? We’re all busy with our day-to- day lives, earning a living and eking an existence on Planet Earth.

But if you are willing, there is always some way. Helping others by sharing my multiple skills is something that brings me immense joy; hence I have shared 7 broad services which you can share with the world for free and for a cost:

    1.Professional services (Consultants, Engineers, Marketers, Chefs etc.,)

There are professional service providers as a company, but we are focusing of individuals who have these skills to offer these services. May be, you are in job offering these services, still you would want the world to know your skills for others to connect with you to receive those services form you.

 This is where a mobile app like nettworkk would help!.

 2.Home repair (carpenters, Roofers, Electricians, etc.,)

 In this ‘aggregators’ age, we have aggregators most services including food, taxi, products(amazon.com) and home repair services. Though these app provide customers with more options to choose from, the huge commission these aggregators take from the service providers really hits big on them.

 An app like nettworkk connects customers directly to you instead of them coming through aggregators.

 3.Software Services (Product managers, Solution architects, Developers. Testers etc.,)

Most of the college student eye a software job during college. Hope you agree. If you are trained in the latest software and aptitude skills, there are more chances of you getting through the campus interviews. So, there is always a huge availability of software professionals, testers and currently product managers. Interestingly, there are professionals with multiple skills, say., they are proficient in Java platform, cloud architecture as well as in big data. But they can’t be handling projects in all of them. They could only go by what their company project demands.

 It would be great if they could have a platform like nettworkk which could help them connect with people who are looking for people with these skills to offer projects.

4.Creative services (Writers, Graphic Designers, etc.,)

 It takes real skills and talent to master creative skills. Most people get into these services with seer love and passion for arts. They love colours, literature, imagination, and a sense of WOW in their work.

The speciality of creativity is that it is the basis of all innovation. Creative services need not be limited to arts but could be applied to almost any work including Engineering, Carpentry, Education... you name it!

5.  Personal care (hair stylists, massage therapists, etc.,)

Personal care services have always been close to individuals as we visit at least one personal care service in a month. Especially, working men and women. These services are always in demand and people who provide these services do it with love and care.

As they work physically close to the clients, they develop a sense of connect and client look to a particular service person if they get used to their service.

6.Health care (Doctors, Physio therapists, Nurses etc.,)

If these is a service which requires more inter connectivity with the community is Health care. As there are multiple disciplines in health care including various speciality Doctors, Physio therapists, Nurses, and various lab technicians, they all must be connected to refer the patients to the right specialists.

7.Coaching Services (Online coaching, Private tuition, Sports & Games etc.,)

The most steadily growing industry is the online coaching industry. Due to layoffs and insecure job environment, most of the professionals turn to online coaching to get themselves updated with the latest technologies, strategies, and other required skills.

Here I remember these famous words by American evangelist, Billy Graham who says: “We’re not cisterns made for hoarding. We’re channels made for sharing.” Obviously, what good is any skill if someone decides on hoarding it? The skill would die along with the person that hoards it and is not able to be passed on generation to generation.

Coaching service including sports & games have always been sort after wherever one needed expert guidance. Someone whom to they can go-to for re-evaluating themselves and fine tune their existing skills or learn new skills.

WHERE DOES NETTWORKK COME IN ALL THIS?

NETTWORKK provides you with a platform to share, showcase, and adapt skills with as ease as our day to day social media affairs. The steps for this are easy, create a profile, mention all the skills you can offer for free and for a cost and wanted services for free and for a cost.

NETTWORKK provides an easy connecting ground for people of all strata and ages to bond with each other based on their skills offered and wanted. And you get matched right on your mobile. No more advertisements in classifieds and social media ads!

Say., if you are software developer working in a software company, you are mostly like to introduce yourself as a software professional. What if you have multiple skills which you could offer for a cost. Say., you are also a competent chess player and you are willing to provide online chess training to people who are interested. You might not have thought about providing this service unless someone pokes you related to chess.

That is where a platform like nettworkk becomes essential. You can also offer free services, say., you are passionate about playing a music instrument, but not keen earning from it. You might keep you instrument playing passion live by teaching people for free or playing for free. Just to keep that passion… LIVE!

The most exciting feature of this nettworkk is that you can add as many as 10 skills which you can offer for a cost and 10 different skills which you can offer for free! Sounds exciting?

Start communicating and showcasing what you are good at, share it with the world and make a difference while you earn extra income!

[teenyfish]

Marine Biology Story of the Day:

Hey guys.

Wow, thanks for all of the follows, reblogs, and shares.  I’ve always wanted to do more science outreach like this but I wasn’t really sure how on social media (I’ve always been real bad at social media.  I’m not a good millennial). So this is making my day guys:)

So, we are gonna kind of switch gears here--my husband suggested that I talk about a recent research trip that I went on last September.  I got the chance to go on NOAA’s shark and red snapper long-line research trip.  

Ya’ll, I got to tag tiger sharks. 

We left out of Pascagoula, Mississippi and our trek took us out into the Gulf of Mexico.  This time I didn’t have to do any sailing, instead we left on one of NOAA’s R/Vs (research vessel), the Oregon II.  What happened to the Oregon I? Idk. 

Long-lining is a pretty simple method of fish capture.  It involves one “long line” with two buoys on either end (this line is a mile+ long in length) and on this long line are hundreds of secondary baited hooks.  The great thing about long-lining is that you can catch faster and larger fish than other conventional fishing methods, and often, if you have a short “soaking” time (that’s the time you leave your long-line in the water, i.e., it’s fishing time) you can release most of the animals alive and relatively unharmed.

So the main goal of this research is to survey large swaths of the gulf and get a better idea of how many sharks are out there and how the shark populations are doing from year to year.  We also take small fin clips and get genetic data on the populations--this way we can understand more about the genetic health of the population as a whole.  The more genetically diverse the population is, the healthier it’s going to be in the long run and the better the population can survive disaster level events.  We also tag sharks--this way if another fisherman or scientist catches them, we can get a better idea of their movements through out the gulf. 

SOOOO anyway, I once again got put on night sampling (from Midnight to Noon, I was dying.  My body was like, “why did you do this to me?”). A night of sampling went like this--we’d go to our stations in the gulf, put out our longlines, let them soak for one hour, haul them up, and process the catch (measuring, tagging, fin clipping, releasing). And boy, did we get some cool stuff. 

Atlantic Sharpnose, held by my friend who’s been on this trip 3 years in a row. These were the smallest species we caught on the trip. 

Scalloped Hammerhead being measured by a colleague who works on shark population genetics.

Blacktip Reef Shark that I was struggling with.  When you held them like that, you would get “shark burn” from their skin--it was kind of like getting a mild rash, but with the bigger sharks, that’s the only way you could handle them.  

For the larger sharks, we would pull them onto a large cradle to handle them because it was waaaaay to dangerous to handle them ourselves.  The cradle also weighed the animals for us. 

Juvenile Bull Shark at sunrise, just before it was lowered back into the water.  You can see it’s tag--the yellow line next to the dorsal fin. This guy was 10 feet long ya’ll.  A JUVENILE. 

My goofy ass getting real excited about tagging a great hammerhead.  

A female tiger shark getting lowered back down into the water. This lady was like 12+ foot long.  I got to tag her and it was one of the most amazing moments in my little marine biology life. 

For those of you who have concerns about handling the animals out of the water--we did it as quick as possible, it was like being on a pit crew.  One person would get the hook out, another would take data, and another would fin clip and tag, and if we had an extra person, photographer. We couldn’t necessarily dive on these stations to try to tag sharks like you can in tropical reef locations, this was the open ocean essentially, pretty deep, often with less than ideal diving conditions.  NOAA takes a lot of care in the safety of the crew and the animals, so this is essentially the best way to get the amount of data needed on a large population while releasing animals alive.  Large datasets like this allow for better management of regulations and laws surrounding these amazing animals.  

The NOAA Oregon II has a great facebook page that posts day to day activities about the survey, which runs from June? through September.  You can also check on the other NOAA surveys that the ship does. https://www.facebook.com/NOAAShipOregon2

That wraps it up for now, I’ll probably do another post about this trip at some point, talking more about the different species (and maybe videos), other animals we caught, the awful run of bad luck we had with the ship, and why you shouldn’t go out drinking after 27 hours of no sleep, but for now, thanks for reading.  And as always, if you have questions about this research, PLEASE don’t hesitate to ask. 

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 57

~*~Emma~*~

Before jumping in the shower, I pulled up the naked picture, put a peach (I was in Georgia, after all) over my ass, and posted it on Instagram along with one of Amy and I floating and holding hands. I drew a heart around us and captioned it “Sister love”. When I got out of the shower, I had a text.

Sebastian ~ Imagine my sad face when there wasn’t a peach free version in my texts. Nice bikini.

Emma ~ You mean the version with my bikini bottoms that my sister took.

Sebastian ~ Ok, maybe not. Still a sad face.

 I sent him a posed bikini shot.

 Sebastian ~ I’m not going to complain. What a beauty. How is it going?

Emma ~ Five minutes and I'll call you.

Sebastian ~ Should be just enough time... with my new bikini pic.

Emma ~ Now I know why your biceps are so big.

Sebastian ~ Foreams.

 I pulled the towel off my hair, threw on clothes, and opened my iPad. Didn't take him long to answer. "Ce mai faci, Sebasti-an?" <How are you?>

“I was having a good day, now it's even better. How about you?"

I caught him up on the day and plans for the long weekend.

"You're going to be busier than me. I’ve got dinner with the guys. Then Canada. Sounds like our Sunday date may need to be postponed."

Our phone sex date. "Hell, no. Do you think after a day with family I'm not going to need to release some tension?"

Sebastian sighed, "That's all I am to you. Tension release."

"More of a perk than a purpose."

"I can live with that." He shrugged with a smile.

“That’s good because dad introduced to an eligible doctor today. He wanted to invite him to dinner. I told him my boyfriend didn’t like me to go on dates with other men.”

“Damn straight.”

“I call him bait.”

“To his face?”

I snickered and shook my head, "We've got pizza coming for dinner. Wanna meet the fam now? Natural conversation ender."

"Whenever."

I stood up, "Now, then I'll call you later. Unless you're falling back into your hole."

He held his thumb and forefinger an inch apart, "A little hole. I’m all yours whenever."

"Won't be too late." I opened my door and headed down the hall. I could see everyone in the family room. "Hey guys, I’ve got Sebastian. Want to meet him?"

Amy yelled, "Yes."

I put the iPad on the coffee table while they squished together. I stood behind them. "Family, Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Katie, Amy, mom is Andrea, and dad is David."

"Nice to meet all of you."

Katie got very close to the camera like she did when she talked to me, "Do you have a dog?"

"I don't have a dog. Do you have a dog?"

"No, but I want one. What about a cat, do you have a cat?"

He shook his head with a pout, "They make me sneeze. I have a fish. He lives with your Aunt Emma. His name is Mycroft."

"That's a stupid name."

Sebastian crinkled up his nose, "I know. Emma named him.”

Amy pulled her away, "We don't say stupid."

"She's a cutie." Sebastian looked between us. "I’m about to sound like I’m sucking up. All four of you are beautiful and carbon copies. Love the new hair, Amy."

Amy ran her fingers through, "Thank you."

Mom added, "Sucking up or not, always nice to hear. Amy said you're on your way to Canada."

Sounds like Amy had told our parents about our conversation.

"Yes. I have a movie showing at the Toronto Film Festival. I’m doing some advance press and meetings."

"And Rome," from Amy.

"Female spy movie."

My dad spoke up, "I‘m a history buff and have read about the units, mostly in Europe during World War two."

And they were off. Sebastian had been researching and dad directed him to a couple of books. They were animated and their conversation bounced back and forth. Sebastian managed to guide the talk around and asked mom about the mini-family reunion going on Sunday. Mom talked about the menu before she started sharing embarrassing stories. Sebastian told a few on himself. I pulled Amy in and she retaliated with a particularly embarrassing story that ended with me peeing by the side of a road. Maybe this meeting thing was a bad idea.

Sebastian looked at me, "So when we take a road trip you can point out the best places."

His words were teasing, but his expression was adoration. I felt it all over and smiled in return. "I imagine you’d block me from view instead of advertising a roadside strip show like she did.”

“I would.”

Fifteen minutes in the doorbell rang. I was starving but wished it had taken a little longer. I had been a little worried at first when it felt like they were interviewing him, but like he’d told me and I’d seen, after a few minutes they went back to normal and talked to him like he was anyone else. I was still standing in the back and went after the pizza, putting it on the table before returning to my spot. He and Amy were laughing about something.

Sebastian glanced up at me for a second, “I don’t want to keep you from dinner. Emma’s bragged on the pizza place. Go eat while it’s hot.”

Amy and dad said it was nice to meet him and mom said, “Fingers crossed things continue and we get to do this again or in person.”

What the fuck!

Sebastian saw me make a face and throw my hands up. He smiled and spoke to my mom, “I’m not going anywhere.” He glanced up to me, “I’ll talk to you later, Em?”

“Yep, I’ll text to make sure you’re still up.”

I used the time it took me to walk around the couch and close the cover on my iPad to calm myself down. What an absolutely strange thing for my mother to say to my boyfriend. By strange I mean bitchy. I wasn't willing to let it go but now wasn't the time. I'd like to say because I didn't want to confront her in front of the whole family, but it was because I was hungry.

Amy was buckling Katie in her booster seat, mom had the plates, and dad had multiple bottles of beer. I had no function. I sat down and opened the pizza boxes. The first bite was as good as I remembered. The combination of flavor and the happy memories made me smile. I chased the bite with beer and was in heaven.

I was content to sit quietly enjoying my pizza and beer. My twin was not, "Sebastian is nice and funny. He tells great stories. His expressions. I mean I know he's an actor, but this was him as a person. I like him."

"Me too," came from Katie.

"And he is gorgeous." Amy’s eyes were huge, "Gorgeous."

I pulled my lips to the side and nodded, "Yes, he is."

From the end of the table, my dad spoke, "Amy, tell us what's going on at the lake?"

Mom added, "Is Max going to be there?"

The rest of dinner was my parents talking to Amy about tomorrow and asking questions about her and Max. Not one word from either of them about Sebastian. I could tell they knew a lot about Max by the questions they asked. Zero questions about my boyfriend, who they knew next to nothing about. They knew next to nothing about how we met or what we’d done. They were asking about Amy and Max though. I wasn't even included in the conversation. I didn't have a function here either.

I wonder how much beer is in the fridge or tequila in the bar?

I’m angry. Sebastian was charming, self-effacing, and knew enough about them to ask questions. I don't expect them to gush all over about him, but how about a "he seems nice" or even "it was nice to talk to him.". But no. Nothing. Zippo.

One of the first things I learned in rehab was anger is a secondary emotion. Equally as valid, but still derived from another emotion. Something comes first and triggers anger. My feelings are hurt. They can talk to Amy about Max at any time. Literally at any time because she lives here. I'm here for five days and we just had him on FaceTime. Silence. I feel discounted.

I volunteered to take the garbage out. I needed some air. Instead of coming back inside, I sat down on one of the loungers, putting my phone on the side table. Closing my eyes and focusing on my breathing I tried to slip into calm. I was almost there when I heard the doors open and close. The calm disappeared. I was guessing it was mom. Dad wasn't one for confrontation and there was no mistaking there was going to be confrontation. Imagine my surprise when it was both of them.

"Hey, sweetheart." Dad sat on the foot of the lounger next to me. I pulled my feet up, making room for mom.

"Hey, has Katie gone to bed?"

Mom shook her head. "Amy's reading to her."

"We wanted to talk to you about Amy."

"OK." I was a little confused. "She seems really good. The last few months we've been texting and talking more. Today was nice. Laying here in the pool talking like we were teenagers again."

Mom put her hand on my foot, "I’m glad. Amy told us some of it."

My dad had his hands clasped between his knees. "Amy has been doing well. She has a good job, has been going out with friends, and she likes this Max."

“I remember him from high school."

"We'd like to keep her doing well. This is the longest she's been sober. We need you to tone it down a little."

I cocked my head, "Tone what down?"

Dad said, "Talking about Sebastian."

In an interesting twist, mom tried to lessen that blow. Sort of. "In general too. How good things are going at work and your social life. She compares herself to you and we don't want Amy to feel bad about herself."

I needed to know, "Did Amy say something? Have I said or done something for her to feel inferior?"

"No, not all. She said the same as you about how good it felt today."

Amy saying she felt less was completely different than what was going on here. I fought back angry tears. "First, I have barely talked about Sebastian. Amy asked questions from the hospital to here. I was excited for you all to meet him, but did it before dinner so it was time limited. That’s all I’ve said about him. You two don't even know how we met. Your disinterest is pretty clear.” I looked at dad, "I wasn't going to bring him up until after dinner, but you were trying to set me up." I turned my head to my mom, "And you straight up said if you two don't break up maybe we'll talk to you again."

"Emiliana, you're overreacting. Sebastian seems very nice and seems to be quite taken with you. My comment was more for Amy. He's a movie star. Of course, she's jealous, but she needs to remember dating doesn't mean forever."

"But you said it to Sebastian. Why would you say that to either of us?" I had my hand up with all fingers pointing at my chest. "Sebastian is the first relationship I’ve had in forever and you're forecasting the end. I’m happy and you're saying maybe it’ll last. That’s hurtful and mean."

"I’m happy for you. We're just asking you not to rub your sister's nose in your happiness and success."

Had I thought there was the slightest bit of truth to that statement I would have backed down. But there wasn't. "I've done no such thing. I've intentionally not done that. There's so much I could be saying, but haven't."

"Thank you. Please keep it that way."                                                                .

I stared at her. The correct response would have been they wanted to hear all about him.

My dad's voice cut the silence. "I didn't know you were dating anyone. I wouldn't have mentioned Frank coming to dinner if I had. What's so wrong with wanting my daughter to come home?"

He did well until the last sentence. It sucked the anger out of me and left sadness. "But you don't want me home. You want a version of me who isn't excited about a new boyfriend, or celebrates winning a volleyball tournament, or has friends who enjoy hanging out with me, or is proud of how she does her job. Or is at least is willing to pretend she isn’t."

Neither said anything. They couldn't because they knew I was right. I picked up my phone and stood up, "I'm going to go sit by the lake for a bit. Watch the water."

Mom didn't move, but Dad stood up. "Emma, Amy has struggled and worked hard to deal with what happened that summer."

I curled my lips in tight, refusing to cry. "So did I."

I walked along the wooded path and to the end of the dock. I sat dangling my legs off and called my other dad.

Ed picked up on the first ring, "It's too soon for you to call. You haven't been there for twelve hours."

I jumped right in. "I had a fight with my parents. The day with Amy has been great, like we were kids again. We’ve laughed and talked and even had this moment where we connected about what happened. Then my parents literally told me to stop being so happy. I might make Amy relapse."

"I love you, Emma.” He gave me a smile that was more sad than happy. “Tell me what they said. Exactly what they said."

Tears rolled down my face as I relayed the conversation.

Ed was silent until the end. He has always tried to be objective and not say anything negative about my parents. "Fuck them, Emma."

I started laughing. "I knew I wasn't overreacting. It’s not even that they want me tone it down because I do that with Amy all the time. I always check what's going on with her before I tell her what's going on with me. I'm always careful."

"I know you are."

"It's that they don't even consider me. Not a word. Had they said they wanted to hear all about Seb, but things were rough with Amy it would have been alright. But Amy's doing great and I can't be too happy in case she might not be. I have to be half of me so they can hope she'll be whole. I want her to be ok too, but not at the expense of me. To throw out they want me home. Why would I ever even consider moving back here with people who want me to diminish myself? And that she struggled. What do they think I did?”

“You could tell them.”

“Tell them? Are you crazy? So next time Amy is feeling bad about herself they can tell her then she relapses and tells whoever. No, thank you.”

Ed laughed, “I didn’t say it was a good idea. Don’t forget it’s your choice. You always have a choice. Even if it’s the best choice there are consequences. For the record, I think you made the right choice.”

I laid down on the dock. I know it’s not about sides, but I needed somebody on mine. Ed was on mine. “I want to go home.”

“Call an Uber and go to the airport. You need money, I’ll send. Or call Sebastian he’ll fly you home.”

That made me laugh, he was clearing the way for whatever I needed. “It’s my choice.”

“Always.”

I thought a second and Ed was good with the silence. “The only reason I’m not going home is that I don’t think this is Amy and we’re spending a day out with friends tomorrow. I don’t want to miss a good visit with my sister because my parents are assholes.”

“You said that, not me.”

“I read your mind. I love you. Thank you. I’m better.” I groaned, “I’m supposed to FaceTime Sebastian. I’m sure I’m a mess.”

“Don’t lie to him. Don’t pretend everything’s ok. Let him support you. I think he’ll be good at it. Doesn’t mean I’m going to quit giving him shit.”

“He doesn’t think you’re going to kill him anymore.”

“I’ll have to work harder.”

We hung up and I headed back toward the house. It was nearly pitch black out here and I wanted to see Sebastian.