#making out with your boyfriend but then the autism kicks in and go to talk about puzzles

[fem-the-artist]

Begging for more Flora

Also, it’s really hot where I am so it’s like the temperature can drop like 10° that be great 

Also since the people went wild, the last time I drew ranlay it’s only motivated me to do more. This is what you brought upon yourselves. 

[guardian5tiger3]

1. 2. 3.

And

4. ( Yes, it's a picture of chingy. )

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PICK A GROUP TAROT

1

Basically I think you're single with a big heart / a lot of love to give, and you have a friend that's gay or in a gay relationship or some of you maybe don't even realize if you have a crush that he's gay or has a boyfriend . Or youre in a three way relationship??????? If any of those are true or you literally just know two guys and one of them is similar to you somehow , they are talking about you . And it's possible one or both of them want you to be cut off from them or for you to have to leave something or a place behind . So you could actually be being plotted on in terms of them doing something maybe to get you kicked out of your place or fired ????! Dude if somebody IS in a gay relationship they could actually not be gay they could be straight and be making a mistake ...

WTF is this y'all damn . Looks like you've only been nice as f and in your own vibe . Do y'all have autism ????????? Or want to get checked for it ???! This the most confusing reading I've ever done . Cause it's possible these people are just reading you so effing wrong and being judgemental like for the few of you that that's your case I hope the culprit eats shit cause I especially feel your pain here . This also could be people from your past or something that happened in the past . Dude someone HATES you all cause you're just enjoying what you have or what you have worked for or your own vibe or something . Like why . WTF "with a cherry on top "bitch what the hell . You might have been excluded from a group of friends or something . . .... But you have the best energy though ... Like you're beautiful .uhm the advice is to flex on everyone ever. Just be bold about your vibes and how you look and flaunt it cause it'll mess these people's heads up It would make someone get so mad they'd prolly piss their effing pants hahaha . F k 'em . So that's ...your advice.... Good luck with ... This ....... Just flex on em idk they definitely have at least one or two people that know whoever these dudes are or whatever that look at stuff you post online too if you do or see you at a grocery store possibly??? Or at a restaurant if you're a waitress ..... Y'all get the point you would be seen and you'd have em freaking out ....... Bunch of nerds if you ask me , shoot.

( extra channeling . Someone ate some one ass I think it's these two guys that are gay with each other and it's funny and gross ? ) as if that's my business or anyone's but I think other factors involved make this justifiably hilarious for someone

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2

You are the last one standing in a situation. Channeling the hunger games here . You could be the only person in your own family to ever do something . You might have one best friend ( when I typed this, at this point I accidentally put 😉 this emoji somehow ????? ) or a pet .?

People have tried to delay you or throw obstacles your way or hurt you or something and I don't know that anyone or yourself ever could have imagined whatever destiny you have . It's going to teach a lot of people lessons . People that may have judged you especially if you live your life unconventionally . Whatever your destiny is is kind of shocking but will leave certain people in complete shame . I feel like some people you've dealt with somehow could never ever imagine admitting to being wrong on the level they may have been about you and it will be humiliating and ego shattering for a certain person or people . This is especially true if you tend to avoid conflict , or are a loner, or never experienced a party scene as a teen and young adult , or even like, sleep overs or birthday parties as a kid. You may have always been focused on things no one else really was while everyone else was in a way wasting their time with other things . It's so gonna pay off however the lifestyle similar to what I'm describing is that you've lived .

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3

Y'all seem good but maybe impatient about something or just, the future in general ? . You're either in love with someone OR that's what you're impatient about, your love life . Your soulmate is hurt right now and needs to or had needed to get away from something cause someone had some sharp words towards them not making things any better but making it actively get worse for them emotionally or mentally or physically . Whatever environment either of you are in it's not suitable for the type of love you two would have so there does need to be action taken in terms of fixing the chaotic or bad environment but sometimes it's up to this person to do and you are left maybe bored or inpatient then right ? If you guys want a family - like situation in any way be it just you two , pets , children , whatever . You can absolutely put your focus on preparing for that in any given way that you can .

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4

You're looking back on the past or rewatching old shows or movies or doing something for nostalgia maybe even eating something you used to . If this is what you're doing right now it's because subconsciously you want yourself to notice something negative that happened around that time . Or in your past generally . Something may have been not obvious enough or straight up going on behind your back or maybe you have blocked out trauma ? It looks like you're alright now but upset about the past . Don't force whatever you're trying to realize or remember but I think reading this might just help with that naturally coming up in your mind at some point . Make sure you don't get too lost in your mind and also consider practicing grounding yourself in the physical present moment . Something positive is about to happen to you . Either you're eating vegetables or you should be . Also look towards foods and activities that are positive for brain health . If you have a dog take the dog for walks or do that for more time or more often at this time . If you have a fish or hamster do not take a pet like that for a walk . Just a little PSA 😉 . there is one very good thing coming to you that might be humbling in a way but it is destined and it is great . It might come to you in the form of good news ? . But I can't say anything more about what it might be . I think the energy youre in now is very telling of what's to come as if youre preparing for something subconsciously. Take care .

[effy-writes]

Haiii! I adore your writing and I just wanted to know if you'd be okay with writing head cannons for poly fizz and Ozzy X male reader where the reader has autism and gets super overwhelmed and overstimulated from noises, eg if it's too loud, if its too quiet, if theres too many noises at once and because of this they practically always where headphones? Thank you either way!!!!

ofc!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fizz x Ozzie x Male!Autistic! Reader HC

content warning: overstimulating and overwhelming loud noises, vague ableism

requests are open!

•Because you get overstimulated and overwhelmed from loud noises/or pure silence Fizz and Ozzie bought you noise cancellation headphones.

• Speaking of loud noises, they try their best to keep you in a comfortable environment. When you and Fizz are in public he'll always keep an eye on you. Occasionally he'll ask stuff like "Do you need anything? Do you want me to take you somewhere else?" etc.

• Once Fizz and Ozzie met you, the two decided to have a low stimulation hours at Ozzie's! Which basically consisted of dim lights and little to no noise at the restaurant. If somebody complains about it then they'll kick them out.

• You never go a day without your headphones, and sometimes you'll get weird looks for wearing headphones inside. Ozzie once beat up a guy for making fun, while Fizz took you out of that environment since he didn't want you to see your boyfriend beating somebody up.

• If you do forget to bring your headphones (which is rare) both Ozzie and Fizz have backup ones.

• Sex can especially overstimulate you, but you three found ways to make it more enjoyable for you.

• One day you were so burnt out that you couldn't even go to Fizz's performances. So, Ozzie facetimed you so you could see Fizz perform!!

• You always talk down on yourself because you need extra help with things, but the two always reassures you that they don't care that you may need extra help with things. They love you and will do anything to make you feel safe/happy.

[momma-pixel]

I Must Speak But Don't Have The Words

[TW: Suicide] When: 1988 Where: Playground, Kindergarten Situation: Little Me strongly and firmly believes that if I antagonize the girls and make them chase me then when I get caught they'll turn me into a girl like them as punishment. Apparently boys will be boys.

When: 1989-1994 Where: My bed, every night / Home Situation #1: I prayed to god every night to let me wake up as a girl. Situation #2: Caught wearing my sister's panties a few times, said it was because I couldn't find my own underwear. Situation #3: Constantly asked to help with yard work, would prefer to help in the house. Told that's women's work, what are you a girl, stop being lazy.

When: 1993-1995 Where: Home / Hospital Situation: General moodiness and angst, aches and pains. Breasts and hips are forming. Why parents? You're fat (I wasn't). Get confused for a girl out in public, parents force me to cut my hair and go on a strict diet. Doctor says I only have one testicle but also wants to run chromosome and hormone tests. Parents balk at cost. Surgery to find a missing testicle. I prayed to god, for the last time, to have the doctors turn me into a girl. They find a testicle slightly smaller than a marble, it's atrophied.

When: 1996 - 2000 Where: High School / Home Situation #1: Fell in with the punk and goth crowd. Had friends. Learned about the world at large thanks to them (and this new thing called the internet!). Discovered I was Bisexual. Learned the term 'transsexual'. Boom, head blown. Female bestie opens her arms, heart, and closet doors to me. Wearing black lipstick, black nail polish, eyeliner. Parents hate me. Wanted my ears pierced, dad said it was for girls and fags. In an argument about something dumb my mom calls me a cocksucker - I quipped that at least I was getting dick, flipped my hair, and walked away...we didn't speak to each other for a month. Situation #2: Attempted suicide twice. Both attempts failed right before they would have succeeded thanks to some spectacular reverse-final destination shit. Parents blamed my friends, my books, and anything else they could. Boyfriend jokes it's because god is scared of me after ignoring my prayers for so long and needs time to come up with an alibi.

When: 2001 - 2005 Where: Therapist's Office Situation #1: Asperger Syndrome (to be changed much later to Autism), Depression, Transsexualism. Do this thing called a Real Life test. Standards too rigid, too high, failed test. Situation #2: Final suicide attempt. Lots of counseling, meds, and restrictions.

When: 2010 - Present Where: New State of Being/Mind/Residence Situation: Grabbed life by the gooch and made it my bitch. Found new therapist, learned about myself more, began fixing myself, started a proper transition.

I never knew the words needed to express my mental anguish and emotional turmoil. They were concepts in my mind colored with prismatic abstract thoughts. My world was a tiny box with the only things allowed in governed by my parents. I wanted so badly to say to someone, anyone, that I was in pain and needed help but didn't know how. Even today I still have trouble putting words to thoughts - as an example, this post alone has already taken an hour to write.

For any of you out there struggling to talk about your changes, your transitions, your mental state of you, take this advice - there are words out there for you! Take your time to craft them as purposely and gently as possible. Some people will kick up at them and try to break them, but they are your words and you made them. They can't be broken, they can't be sullied or tainted. Those words were crafted by hand with love (for yourself) and perseverance (for a better tomorrow) by the best craftsmen in the world: You.

[maochira]

I've posted about this months ago, but I feel like it's time for me to open up a bit again.

This blog mainly consists of dad and big brother fics and headcanons, thanks to my massive father and big brother complexes. Writing these fics and headcanons has helped my mental health A LOT because they brought (and still bring) me a lot of comfort and I put my own life experiences in some fics. They gave me a chance to at least imagine experiencing a normal childhood.

There's people who read what I write who told me they don't have a good relationship with their family members, and that my writings bring them a lot of comfort. I'm so happy I can help some people, because I've been through so much myself.

Writing these family fics was like taking back control. Writing my own scenarios and having control over them. Especially whenever I write dad!Ego because he's not really the type of character most people would expect to be a good father. And writing him as a good father helped me a lot.

TW: talks about emotional and physical abuse, child neglect and trauma

I grew up in an abusive household. I mainly went through emotional abuse, but also physical. I was manipulated, controlled and neglected. I escaped that household when I was kicked out of it when I was 13, and even after that my abusers still found ways to damage me.

One abuser was my ex-stepfather, who is completely out of my life now. He abused me the most and even though he was supposed to be a second father figure, he made me go through hell. My mother divorced him shortly before I turned 16 and her new boyfriend is SO MUCH better

But oh well, my mother was my other abuser. But I was more neglected than abused by her because she was at work so much I saw her 1 or 2 days a week despite living at her place. I always visited my father on weekends and during holidays but not being allowed to visit him was used as a threat to make me "behave correctly."

By now my mother has acknowledged her mistakes and apologized. Doesn't make what she did okay but she doesn't behave like she did anymore. My mother and I have a better relationship nowadays.

I've been living with my father since I got kicked out of my previous home at 13. But I still had to go through awful stuff even after escaping my abusers. (My dad is great btw he never did anything to hurt me, he always wanted the best for me and tried to help)

When I was 14 I spent 3 months in a mental hospital. I was diagnosed with multiple things, PTSD was one of them. That therapist assigned the wrong event to my PTSD, though. That mental hospital wasn't the best experience in general.

I tried looking for help ever since I was 11. Teachers, a social worker, CPS and a psychologist literally watched me being in misery and I never got proper help until late 2019 when I was 15 and finally got a good therapist.

On top of that comes the fact that I've shown signs of being autistic, or at least neurodivergent in general, ever since I was a kid so I barely understood the way the world is anyways. (I have no autism diagnosis but an okay from a therapist to say I'm autistic. I usually call myself neurodivergent because having PTSD makes me neurodivergent anyways. I still want to dig deeper and talk to my dad about how exactly I was as a child especially before the abuse happened.)

Trauma rewires your brain. The brain can't develop properly if it's constantly in survival mode.

But I survived. I have the damage, but I survived.

And I'm in control over myself now.

[mecchantheotaku]

I'm sick and overwhelmed with bad memories, so I wanted to get it all off my chest. You don't have to read it or believe me, and there's so many trigger warnings I don't even know where to begin with tagging, but I need to let it all out. Read at your own risk.

My bad past began when I was very young, about three or four. I never really knew my dad back then, so the closest thing I had to a father was my brother's dad (we're half siblings with the same mum), and I don't really remember what happened back then, but my mum suggests that my emotions do remember, and she didn't sugarcoat what happened: my brother's dad would hit her. That's part of the reason she left him after only a couple of years. She thinks the emotional memories of witnessing that are what caused my fear of hostility, even when it's not directed at me.

Then I was diagnosed with autism at a young age and there was a lot of hard work involving me. My primary school life was all over the place, and I felt like I didn't fit in with either the special needs classes or the "normal" classes. This feeling of not belonging in either group has been consistent and I still feel it even to this day.

When I entered secondary school I was excited. It was a new experience, and I got to stay overnight for four nights a week. And the first year turned out okay. But come the second year when i was about 12-13, I started learning more about social cues, and I began to realise that despite this being a specialist school for autistic kids, that many of the other kids found me weird and made fun of me.

I always had issues controlling my temper, and back then, it was at its worst. I would have violent outbursts, and my bullies used that to their advantage. They would deliberately wind me up to get me sent to isolation. It was painful. And it eventually got so bad I hurt a close friend. Since then, I have made an active effort to not get into any sort of conflict.

In addition, I never got to learn the life skills I needed to know. At first I thought it was because I was staying four nights a week, but after my post-school life I came to realise that even if I did go home every day, I wouldn't have learned those skills.

And that's not even the worst thing about my school life. Back then, I was easily taken advantage of. There were five separate people in my life back then who would use my naivete to their advantage and get me to do things no one my age should ever be doing. I didn't realise how bad it was then. But now I do, and I feel disgusted in myself for it.

In addition, I discovered I liked boys and girls, so I came out as bisexual (I didn't understand asexuality at the time, so really, I discovered I was biromantic but didn't know) and my mum made fun of me for it, so I pushed myself so far back into the closet I gaslit myself into thinking I was straight and just looking for attention. I didn't get out of that state until I was 18 years old.

When I graduated secondary school, my.bad school life didn't end for a good few years after. I went to three separate colleges, and all of them ended on bad notes. The first one I personally hated and wanted to leave. The second one couldn't handle me and expelled me. And the third one eventually kicked me out for taking too long to make any progress. After that, I just gave up.

I was also struggling with loneliness and despair until I met a few people online who I'm still friends with to this day. They saved me back then.

After I left my last college is when the most nightmarish thing of all happened. My mum got a new boyfriend.

And while he seemed fun at first, things gradually changed with my family to the point it felt like a shadow of its former self ever since he arrived. My mum became a complete wreck, my brother left the house, we would never talk to anyone outside the house anymore... it felt like I'd been transported to a different world.

In addition, my stepdad (I will call him that because I do not want to refer to him by name) was being extremely pushy, manipulative and jealous. It felt like he was taking over the house. I put up with him because he would do nice things for me all the time... but then I slowly began to notice something horrible. He wasn't being nice to me. He was grooming me.

He would make all sorts of inappropriate comments and even sometimes touch me inappropriately despite me telling him not to, and when he eventually gifted me lacy panties (which he admitted to having a fetish for) and a freaking vibrator (I had told him I was asexual which he would deny). I felt unsafe in my own safe space.

My long-distance boyfriend then told me to tell my brother about this. So I did. And he immediately took me out of that house, and now I'm at my grandma's house, trying to recover from everything I described above.

And it's so hard. I've wanted to escape this world several times throughout all of this, and I still want to now. But I can't. My body won't let me.

And that's everything. I'm sorry for this post being so long and so full of horrible stuff. You don't have to believe me. I just wanted to say it.

[fortheb0ys]

No I think the nickname puppy is so cute wtf 😭😭 I love it frfr, I love nicknames sooo much

I love that tho, I don't think that's embarrassing at all. My boyfriend and I make ocs for I favorite fandoms all the time. We have cod ocs, Minecraft ocs, dbd ocs, and even Supernatural ocs ✊😭 I'm so fucking autistic fr, and I got more than those ones

My cod oc and our Minecraft ocs were huge hyperfixations, we talked about them for months. I even have Pinterest boards dedicated to them

Two years ago for my birthday he actually drew my Minecraft oc and posted it on Instagram

Now that I'm looking at his page, a lot of it is oc art and lore for the both of us

(because I think he deserves way more love on his acct and art than he gets, so if you want to see his @ is bones_the_cannibal_ but you DID NOT hear that from me)

I straight up used to cosplay a lot, I was Ticci Toby for Halloween one year, and I was Virgil from Thomas Sanders personality things 🥲 and with how big the cod fandom is, I think cosplaying a cod oc is the least embarrassing thing you could do in this fandom (unless you're one of the weird straight guys that just want girls attention and are shirtless half the time)

I think unmasked Charlie was very silly (/pos) and I love him ✋ tbh, I didn't even really watch your videos in full, just skimmed a few here and there, enough to see your knife skills and lil Philly, so you don't have to be too embarrassed, I didn't see much

Very glad I got to see him 💪huge L to everyone who didn't

-🥭

I do love nicknames :3 They were gonna nickname me Mutt💀 which Puppy's definitely better in hindsight.

Awww making characters with your bf is sooo cute😭😭 People in relationships who share the same hobbies/interests aaaah its adorable🥺 You guys sound so cute😭 THE CHARACTERS, PININTEREST BOARD AND THE DRAWINGS?!? *kicking and screaming* IT'S SOOO ADORABLE🙏 I LOVE WHEN PPL ARE IN LOVE🥹

I'll be sure to look at his account🫢

My siblings and I always were into the whole character making for fandoms. My earliest memories were my brother going on about his Resident Evil characters so it's no surprise I became the same. Pretty much every fandom I'm into, I have a character for it too😂

I used to cosplay more but adult life kinda took that away. I wish I could do it more often. I just liked making things. Trying to get back into it but it's so expensive🥲

Honestly when I see those straight guys who do the weird phone thrusting vids make me feel sick and the way they're catering to these girls toxic fantasies. Like wtf💀 I've seen SO MANY vids where they're glorifying abuse and people eat that shit up!

The cosplay/cod community kinda freaked me out with all that shit. Like I wasn't even a big creator nor did I do any sexual content and people would still say crazy shit to me. Like nope I can't so this🙅‍♂️

I just did tiktok cause my friends pressured me and that I could share my cosplays with them.

Lol you were the lucky winner to see that side of me and my horrible knife skills😅 Got to see my autism in full swing.

[pony-central]

Berserk Button List (Updated)

As TV Tropes states, a Berserk Button is described as "someone who appears normal. But, one small mistake leads said person to go into an unstoppable rage".

This list has been updated with new characters added

Sick PonyCentral

Any mention of Purity Senpai sends her into Anger Mode. She will shoot a powerful beam of red energy that will end up bursting a hole through your roof. She also gave him several concussions during her time at the PTIAFTC

Insulting her sister will end up with you possibly ending up in the hospital

Don't call her "Sickly Kayleigh". You will regret it instantly

If you say that purple is the worst colour, expect to lose a tooth

Talking to her about her dad will result in her setting your house on fire

Never talk shit about her green pizza

SpongeBob SickPants is a major Berserk Button to her

Don't insult Disney in front of her. She will kill you

Also don't make fun of her weight. She will not take it too lightly

Naughty PonyCentral

Saying that her x Nathan Files is a zoo ship will end up with you in the hospital, or dead

If you argue with Nathan, she will blow a hole in the roof of your house

Nathan's late father was a massive Berserk Button for her

Sick BF

Anything involving Senpai. Sick Boyfriend even kicked Senpai in the nuts due to the beef they have with each other

Don't compare him to the Bubbly Bikini Boatin Sick Boyfriend. He will beat the shit out of you

Being stuck in the same room as Senpai triggers Sick BF's anger levels. He also threatened to kill him at one point

Both of his parents are a Berserk Button, considering how his dad straight up abandoned him for 13 years. His mum had also sent him to a school where he was bullied frequently

Subverted with Pollyanna, who was his ex-bully

Whenever someone makes fun of DrugFriend, Sick Boyfriend will snap at them

Flappy Bird always makes Sick Boyfriend swear like crazy

Having the WiFi router disconnected will send him into a violent state

Sick Girlfriend is also one to him, and she still is at this point

Don't insult jawbreakers in front of him, considering the fact that they make his teeth bleed whenever he takes a full bite out of one

Don't steal his potato chips

DrugFriend

Don't insult his cooking

Saying that Taco Bell is the worst place to eat will cause DrugFriend to kill you, as he did so with a gang of thugs who insulted the restaurant

Among Us is one Berserk Button for DrugFriend. He once played as a Crewmate, and he had a rage-quitting moment where he smashed his computer

Anything that involves the danger of his friends

Don't steal his beanie

Freund XML

Dare to insult his hometown and you will be met with a knife to your shins

If you state that FNF is cringe as hell, he will beat the crap out of you

If you lie to him, he will shout the F word at you in a blind rage

Insulting his family is a big no no

Trying to do therapy with him while talking ABOUT his dead mum will result in him slamming his hands on the table

Don't hurt his girlfriend in any way, or make her cry. He will kill you

Nathan Files/Naughty Boyfriend

Haters

His dead dad was one to him

If you insult his girlfriend (Naughty PonyCentral), or cause her to cry, expect Nathan to kick you in the stomach until you throw up your lunch

Having a pizza delivered late to his house will make him very impatient

Georgia NoLastName was one to him prior to the events of LAFB The Sequel

PonyCentral

Cobalt Bee is a massive Berserk Button for her. PonyCentral will NOT hesitate to give CB a verbal warning to leave her the fuck alone, while holding a grudge against the bee

Don't say that the ice cream machine at McDonald's is broken. She will scream into a pillow

Don't make her mad, due to her autism

Whatever you do, DO NOT BRING UP HER CONTROVERSY. She will block you immediately

Don't give her any cardboard boxes. You will regret it

Boyfriend

If you steal his Donut Stash, then he will shout and/or swear at you

Him losing a rap battle is no big deal. But if you kiss his girlfriend, then you're on thin ice

Telling Girlfriend his secrets will result in him giving you a death glare

Cave Boyfriend/Dee Dee Warnings

If you're a transphobic person, CBF will kill you

Saying that they should be a boy instead of a transgender icon will result in you being arrested

Rufus Cole/Young Boyfriend

Insult strawberry ice cream, and you will have your legs broken

Heck, even stating that VANILLA ice cream is better will result in your fingers being bent the wrong way

Deny him a Happy Meal, and he will punch you in the face

Baxter Wow/BF Wow

Vance. Just Vance.

If you insult his singing voice, he will beat you up

Burn his fries, and you will lose your lives

Evan Barsham/YBS Boyfriend

Making him late to school will get you arrested

YourBoySponge is one for him for no reason whatsoever

Leave a funeral or a wedding, and he will swear at you

Freundin's Berserk Button is losing a rap battle

Sick Patrick

Don't call him tubby

Stating that he can't date Sick PonyCentral will result in him beating you up

Also, deny him a Krabby Patty, and you will end up going to the dentist

Insulting Sick PonyCentral results in him insulting you back

FNF Convict Boyfriend

He will devour your soul if you insult his species

Being a jerk to him will result in him enslaving mankind

Corruption Insanity Evil Boyfriend

Don't mock his species. He will kill you

Demon DrugFriend in general despite having a decent friendship with him

Sleep during a rap battle, and he sings aggressively. Interrupting him is what gets him to start swearing at you

DDTO Boyfriend

The DDLC girls in general

Call him worthless ends with his microphone up your butt

Dave Sides/D Side Sick Boyfriend

Insulting yellow causes him to lash out at you

Calling him ugly will result in him killing you or beating you up

Benedict Gumballs/Popsicle Boyfriend

Sick Boyfriend trying to eat him is a Berserk Button for him

Don't forget to give him his spare gumball eyes. You will regret it if you don't

Grayson Humerus/SpingeBill Boyfriend

Don't call him crazy. He will attack you

Don't steal his hat. You will end up dead

[liminalweirdo]

i don't know if it's just being raised queer that alienates you from the queer experience, but I think you're right about queerness still being more rooted in the societal mindset as more misery than joy.

But I also think there's lots of reasons that some other queer people might feel alienated besides just being raised queer. Or put another way, I don't think queer families should worry about their queer kids ending up alienated. (Not saying this is what you were saying op, just that this is what your post made me think of, and the rest of this post is more my own rambling thoughts).

For me, as an autistic person with mostly queer/trans friends, I also didn't experience a lot of these things that my queer peers did -- at least not in the ways that my friends were experiencing them.

I don't remember coming out to my parents very well. There were arguments about the meaning of bisexuality. Back then my parents still called me greedy/only rock'n'roll stars do that (yes really lol)/it's a phase. There were arguments about living as a queer person and why that wasn't good or what my parents wanted for me, and there was endless annoyance at my relatives constantly asking me whether or not I had a boyfriend like that was the only option (sigh). I didn't end up homeless like some queer people I knew, when they were kicked out, but I am living with the threat of homelessness as an adult. I think we also sometimes forget that the queer experience continues beyond teenage and young-adulthood, and programs are no longer in place for us beyond that. It's very similar to autism in that way. It's like people think autism stops existing after 18. Look up anything on autism and it's "your autistic child..."

But yeah, the gender binary stuff was always pretty *shrug* to me because the rules were too arbitrary for me and my autistic brain to really give a shit about beyond "don't misgender my friends." (also... we didn't even have words like 'misgender' back then, at least not where i grew up). Basically, I didn't have a super solid differentiation between 'boys' and girls' and what that meant (in the mindset of society at the time) which was also a huge part of the reason why it took me so long to realize that I was trans, too.

I remember not feeling comfortable or welcome in queer spaces because I felt like queerness was so good and the GSA at my school didn't feel that way. I remember feeling uncomfortable in the queer community where I grew up (in a PRETTY small town) because that dynamic wasn't something that I jived with with my neurodivergent brain. I still feel excluded from pride and other queer spaces because nobody's making it accessible to people with visible and invisible disabilities (like by wearing masks and ensuring that the space around the building is also accessible, and and and. I could talk forever about this, too). But my exclusion doesn't mean I don't love my community, I just think that queer people need to work harder on realizing that there are many different types of queers, many ways to be that way, and many queers who are poor/disabled/neurodivergent/mentally ill/culturally different/raised different/less educated/less privileged etc. etc. etc. And I believe that eventually we will get there, but it's going to take a lot of work and being queer and marginalized doesn't exempt you from doing it.

I think that being surrounded by queer people (friends, parents, community) does sort of dilute the experience, though. Or soften it somehow?

I'm sorry that you, or I, or anybody feels alienated from our community, but a lot of us are. And yeah we base a lot of the queer experience on the struggle, still. My partner says that he doesn't doesn't feel queer enough because he came out as an adult and didn't experience some of the vitriol that happens to queer teens in middle and high school, but of course that doesn't actually make him less queer. I think there might actually be a little bit of danger in thinking of queerness as suffering; in forgetting that queer people who are different from us are still just as queer, and that being queer is a fucking incredible, wonderful thing.

I remember back when every single queer movie ended in AIDS or death or not being able to come out or be together. All of the gay media I grew up with barely touched queerness at all, or it ended in tragedy. To this day, I brace myself before watching anything queer because I'm so indoctrinated to think that it's going to be super depressing. And like... queer movies aren't actually often like that anymore? (They're often kind of vapid. Queer movies for straight people, but that's a whole OTHER post).

Anyway, I wanted to talk about this because I hope that that alienation doesn't mean that some queer people can't often relate to other queer folks. There are queer people out there for you! I think there are lots (and hopefully more and more) queer people who also didn't struggle so significantly as we used to growing up queer for a multitude of reasons. Neurodivergency, prevalence of queer friends, different media focusing less on the 'tragedy' of queerness etc.

so guys turns out that being raised by queer people alienates me from the queer experience. probably not a good thing

[i-arch-my-backula]

Stranger things Characters and slashers with a light sensitive s/o

So I lost the request cause I’m a dumb ass but @aceofhimbos asked for head cannons for Steve, Eddie, Johnathan and RZ Michael Myers (two of my favorite long haired boyfriends I have) with an S/O who gets really bothered/sick by someone flashing a light at them. I am sensitive to light because of my autism so someone doing this with me would like really bother me too. So thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy. 

Warnings: Violence, strong language, implied murder

Steve Harrington

You’re at the video store with him when someone who was always a pain in the ass to you is there flashing a light in your eyes. No matter how many you times you tell him to stop he won’t. 

Steve sees you’re getting sick and he takes you outside before he (quietly) goes off on the kid. 

He’ll like put a hand on his shoulder and keep a calm tone while going off on him

“Mess with them again and you’re fucking done alright?” 

He’ll go back outside after they leave and check on you. After your shift is over he’ll take you to his place and have you lay down with him while he rubs your arm. 

Eddie Munson (My beloved)

You’re in the library picking up some books while a boy who often bothers you is flashing a flashlight in your eyes making it harder for you to focus on leaving. 

Eddie walks in and looks for you because you’ve been in there for a long time. When he finds whats going on he loses it. 

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” He’ll get shushed and he’ll drag the kid outside and either A. Scare him off or B. Fight the kid and kick his ass. 

After he deals with that kid he’ll check on you and take you back to his van and help you calm down, even though he’ll be kinda bad at it. “Shit ok um what do you need? Are you gonna throw up? If you are do it outside I can’t get puke out of the van.” 

He’ll try to distract you from whatever you’re feeling with dumb jokes and talk about dnd. 

Johnathan Byers 

You’re in class and this kid won’t stop bugging you with a flashing light. Johnathan sees you’re getting really bothered by this. 

When passing period comes he helps you out of the class and glares daggers at the kid. He’s not the most confrontational unless he has to be. 

If the kid doesn’t stop bothering you he will confront him. He won’t get super aggressive but if he doesn’t stop he might get pretty nasty. “How about you cut it out asshole.” 

He won’t get physical unless he absolutly has to. And if he does he does it outside of school. 

He’ll check up on you after it’s over and make sure you don’t get too sick. He’ll take you back over to his house and try to keep your mind off what happened. 

RZ Michael Myers 

You’re at work and an coworker who knows how you get around light is bothering you. No matter how much you tell them to stop they don’t

Once your shift ends and you’re back home Michael “asks” you whats wrong. After you explain he helps guide you to your bed and once he knows you’re ok he’ll go for a “walk”. 

He returns hours later very dirty and covered in blood. He gets very carried away with protecting his s/o. No one is allowed to mess with you. Ever. 

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Even More Real Parts

So my kid is in high school, and he got involved in something this year at school, which means J and I are spending more time at high school (especially me, because J works outside home and can't make it to every high school Thing our son needs to show up at/participate in). And I don't know if any of you other Gen X/Millennial folks have noticed this, but the 90s are somehow now the Nostalgic Throwback Fashion high school kids are recycling. It's fucking bizarre. Sometimes while I'm sitting in the school pick up lot, watching the children myself and my peers created walk out of school it's legit like I traveled back in time 20-30 years. One ginger kid walked out holding a trumpet case and wearing baggy basketball shorts and high tops with black short socks when it was under 50 degrees outside, and I almost texted A to ask him if there was an unknown heir up here somewhere in my son's school district. Or maybe I hadn't fallen into some crack in the space-time continuum. It was freakish and wild. (Seriously the kid looked just like A did 28 years ago standing there waiting on a ride, trumpet case and all).

Anyway, all this shit is a lead into me thinking almost involuntarily about high school, and that makes me think about my first boyfriend. I talk a whole bunch about J and he's the love of my life, and I consider him my first love, because I really didn't feel or understand romantic love until I met J (no shit), but I did get REAL lucky as a guilt-ridden, almost totally asexual, maybe on the autism spectrum, naive nerd with my first boyfriend in high school. He was (and still is) a gem. For serious. I could not have done better and he set the bar pretty fucking high for sequential relationships, and I'm damn glad he did. Because I know from even adult friendship experience, getting taken in by a shitbag in a romantic/dating setting could have been catastrophic. He gave me the gift of high standards. He gave me, 'G would never say that...do that...act like that with/for/to me, so you can go kick rocks, you dumb fucker...'

The way G let Shy and Oblivious Me know he was interested was so creative and sweet and brave. Truly very Knight in Shining Armor type shit. He did it in the 8th grade before we split up to go to different high schools, which was temporarily tragic because it takes me a while, even with very CLEAR expression to accept that a person could actually like me. But I eventually figured it out when we were attending those different high schools, and it (obviously temporarily, but importantly, I think) worked out. And G was my first kiss ever, and it was literary. Like it really happened in Sappy Rom/Com Style. And I wrote those things as they happened into my story, Admission. So there they are. I'd apologize for the length, but I'm not really sorry, honestly. Between A and G and J? I'm not sorry for being me all the time like I used to be.

With my son having a rough time of things at the beginning of the school year, I've found myself spending a lot of time searching for the good parts of high school, so I could highlight them for him. So I could share with my son what helped me survive. A and G were the best parts of high school for me, and there were times when they were the only good parts. I've never thought of G as anything other than a good part. I wish there was a way that people (especially men) would accept a sincere thank you for making your life better. G made my life better, even though we didn't grow up and get married. A makes my life better just being my friend. But it makes them feel weird if I directly tell them that, so I write them into fiction. In the beginning of Admission, the real parts are G.

[thetravelerwrites]

Birch (Centaur)

Rating: Mature Relationship: Female Human/Male Centaur Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Centaur, Reader Insert Content Warnings: Communication Disorder, Social Communication Disorder, Anxiety, Autism, Autistic Reader, Semi-Verbal Autism, Semi-Verbal Reader, Overbearing Mother, Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Ableism Series: Shelter Forest Words: 4758

Commissioned by an anonymous party, Birch finally gets his own story! The reader, who has a communication disorder, meets and somehow befriends a beautiful centaur named Birch, who lives in the woods with his family and is known throughout the town as being a bit of a playboy and a flirt. When he realizes how poorly the reader is treated by her mother, he immediately tries to rescue her. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

You first saw him when you were thirteen year old. You and your mother came to Coleville to beg for work after your father had kicked you both out of the house for another woman. You and your mother worked in the laundry and kitchen of the town’s most popular tavern, washing bed sheets and tableware, so you hadn’t really had the chance to meet him when he came into town to trade. You were only ever able to watch him from a distance

He was massive, friendly, and beautiful. His horse body was the size and color of a buckskin Andalusian, with a pale tan body fur and black socks. His skin was suntanned from working in the fields of his home farm and he always wore a simply-made tunic. His hair was short and black, and his tail was long and black, but his eyes were a bright, clear blue. He smiled easily and seemed to get along with everyone. You fell in love with him as soon as you laid eyes on him.

Well, no, you knew even then that it wasn’t love, it was just fascination and infatuation, but you couldn’t help yourself. You were overjoyed every time you saw him. Not that he’d ever notice you. You were just a plain, poor, chubby laundress with red, chapped hands and a future of working in a tavern for the rest of your life. Why would he even glance at you?

You wouldn’t be able to speak to him, even if he did. You were terribly shy and timid. You’d always been that way and couldn’t help it. Talking to people, looking them in the eye, facing confrontation, it all made you terrified and shaky. You barely spoke to anyone who wasn’t your parents, although you really didn’t speak to them that much, either. You were sure the most used word in your vocabulary was sorry.

When you were younger, your parents had hoped you’d grow out of it, but you never did. Once you hit puberty and was still unable to speak, your mother began to despair of you, pushing you to talk and berating you when you couldn’t, which only made you withdraw more. You couldn’t blame her for being exasperated with you; you were just as frustrated with yourself as she was. She never said it, but you knew she blamed you for your father rejecting you both.

Even though Birch usually came alone, you were sure he must already be married or have a lover, though he was openly flirtatious. You knew he’d had a few girls in town on occasion, having overheard them bragging about their nights with him, though they all seemed to be one-night trysts or affairs that didn’t last long. Perhaps he wasn’t even interested in settling down with anyone and was the playboy type. He was gorgeous enough for it.

Once or twice, he came to town with his family members or to visit family members who had settled here, like his brother Cetzu, the lizardfolk man running the orphanage with his wife. They were all a strange lot: some were human, most were not. You only ever saw one other centaur, and he looked nothing like Birch; he was a younger, smaller piebald named Yew with black skin, white hair, and pale eyes. You’d heard rumors that there was a mixed family in the woods, living on a farm, and that they were all sorts, but it didn’t really seem real to you until you saw them all together.

He’d come to town one day to buy seeds and supplies and came into the tavern for a drink. For centaurs, alcohol was basically food to them, so they drank heavily and often. A lot of centaurs you’d known got pretty rowdy, but Birch was always mindful. He held his ale well and knew when to stop before getting fully inebriated, careful not to make an ass of himself. He was considerate. You liked that about him.

You were working in the kitchens at the time when he arrived, and he sat at one of the tables designed for four-legged folk. It was a long table with no chairs or benches, but flat cushions instead. He folded his legs under him and flagged the waitress, smiling his dazzling smile, and ordered ale and some roasted vegetables. You were neglecting your work, but even if it was just a few seconds, you wanted to commit his image to memory as often as you could.

“Oi!” The waitress, Cathy, hissed as she came toward the door of the kitchen to put in Birch’s order. “What are you doing?!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” You said, barely audibly.

“Go take him his ale,” She said. “We’re understaffed. If you’re going to be in the way, the least you can do is be useful.”

“I…!" You protested, but she pushed past you into the kitchen to yell at the cook. With you heart in your throat, you rushed to fill a clean tankard and skittered it over, setting it down on the table in front of him without looking at him.

“Ah, that was fast,” Birch said, his voice deep, rich, and wonderful to the ear. “You’re a lovely little thing. Are you new, sweet pea? I haven’t seen you in the tavern before.”

You looked down at the ground and didn’t answer. You weren’t sure what to do, whether to stay and try to be friendly, or retreat back to the kitchen, so you were frozen there with indecision, looking at the floor.

“Hey now, don’t be shy, love. I don’t bite,” He said, you assumed in an attempt to be flirty, reaching for your hand. You snatched your hand away impulsively and ran back to the kitchen.

Your heart was racing and your mind reeling. Why did I do that? You thought, covering your face with your hands. He probably thinks I’m crazy or a complete shrew! I should never leave the back rooms again and just stick to washing dishes.

After a few moments, though, your mother pulled you away from washing by the arm.

“What did you do?” She asked angrily. “One of the customers is asking for you!”

You panicked. “I… I just… I brought him his drink…” You whispered in terror.

“Come on,” She gripped your arm and pulled you back out into the tavern common room, where Birch was still sitting. He looked at you with a frown. Oh god, he looks annoyed, you thought nervously.

“Miss,” He said, and you stared at your feet, unable to look up. “I think I may have frightened or upset you. I’m sorry, I sometimes forget that not everyone is receptive to my personality or sense of humor.”

You were completely unable to speak and kept your head down, your shoulders hunched.

“Say something!” Your mother hissed at you, and you could only shrink into yourself further. “I’m sorry, sir,” Your mother said in exasperation. “My daughter is as timid as a field mouse. She can’t speak to other people and she never looks people in the eye. She can barely even speak to me. She’s always been like this.”

“Oh,” He said, sounding concerned. “Is she unwell?”

“Probably,” Your mother replied in annoyance, and you pulled away even further. “Though the doctors can’t tell us what’s wrong with her. She usually stays in the kitchen and laundry away from the customers. I don’t know what possessed her to come out here and bother you.”

“C… Ca…” You stuttered, struggling to speak in your defense, looking back toward the kitchen, where Cathy was hovering by the door.

“Oh, did Cathy ask you to bring me my drink?” He asked kindly.

You nodded fervently.

“I understand. I’m sorry that she put you in an uncomfortable situation, and I apologize for making it worse.”

Your mother sighed wearily. “Sir, don’t apologize to her. It’s not your fault that she can’t function like a normal adult.”

That hurt. You were on the verge of tears and hugged your arms around yourself, desperately wanting to escape back to the kitchen.

“Even so,” He said, his voice cold, but softened when he addressed you. “I’m very sorry, miss.”

You nodded once and shuffled quickly back to the kitchen, unable to keep the tears from falling. Your mother rejoined you a few minutes later.

“You could have at least apologized to him,” He said, taking the plates as you washed them to rinse them off and put them in the rack. “Why do you have to embarrass me like that? How hard is it to say ‘thank you’ or ‘I’m sorry’?” She sighed sharply and wiped her hands. “Don’t you dare get us fired.” And she walked off, leaving you weeping into the dishwater.

Cathy heard the entire thing and came over sheepishly.

“Hey… I’m sorry I got you in trouble with your ma,” She said. “I forgot about the speaking thing. I was just in a rush and I didn’t think.”

You shook your head. Cathy was the one person who you might call a friend. She was a little brusque and had a short fuse, but she was one of the few who didn’t make fun of your stuttering and silence or look down their nose at you.

“Listen, Birch is a really nice guy. He plays around and has his fun with the girls, but he’s never hurt anyone on purpose. He wasn’t trying to make fun of you or make you feel bad.”

You nodded shortly. You knew that. He was being friendly; that’s just how he talked to people. But being humiliated in front of him was a torture unlike anything you’d felt before, and it hurt.

The next day, you were feeding the chickens in the coop outside of the tavern when you looked up and saw him exiting the tavern. He noticed you right away, and you turned immediately and tried to flee.

“Hey, wait!” He called. “Wait, please!”

You stood with your back to him but you stayed put. You heard him trotting up to you, his hoof-beats heavy.

“Hey, listen, I wanted to apologize again,” He said. “To just you this time. I don’t know what your mother’s problem is, but what she said… that was uncalled for. You didn’t deserve that.”

You turned to face him but you didn’t look up, focusing instead on his large hooves. You shook your head. No, he was wrong. You did deserve it.

“You can’t help how you are,” He said. “It’s not your fault. I have a little brother who has trouble talking to people, too. It’s the exact opposite of your problem; he says exactly what’s on his mind with no filter. He can’t control it and it embarrasses him sometimes. It’s not the same, I know, but I understand that it can be hard.”

He was so nice. You were able to lift your head a little, but you still couldn’t look him in the face.

“My name is Birch,” He said. “What’s yours?”

You opened your mouth but nothing came out, so you shut it again.

“Hmm,” He hummed. “Can you write?”

You shook your head.

“Um… sign language?”

You answered no again.

“I see,” He said, sighing. “I… I’ll be honest… I don’t want to leave you here with that mother of yours. I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with her, but the way she talks to you…” He pawed the ground in annoyance. “It bothers me. Does she do that a lot? Make fun of you in front of other people?”

You shrugged, embarrassed.

He sidestepped in an anxious way and swished his tail. “I have to go back home later today,” He said. “Are… are you going to be okay?”

You nodded.

“Are you sure?”

Another nod.

“Well… alright,” He said. “Look, um… if you ever need to… you know… leave this place, talk to Cathy. She knows where my family’s farm is. She can help you get there. If you need to.”

You nodded again, and he turned to leave, but an unfamiliar impulse compelled you to rush forward and take hold of the hem of his tunic. He stopped and looked at you, though he could only see the top of your head.

“Th…” You gulped, your throat dry, your heart beating in your throat. “Tha… ank…you…” You managed to choke out. “H… Haz…zel…”

“You’re name is Hazel?” He asked, a smile in his voice.

You nodded emphatically.

You felt him put a hand on top of your head and and sort of rubbed his fingers against your scalp. It felt nice, even though you weren’t used to physical touch. Your mother wasn’t exactly the affectionate sort.

“You take care, okay?” He said, taking his hand back. “I’ll be back in a few days. I look forward to seeing you again.”

That evening, you were in the room you shared with your mother as she brushed her hair for bed when she mentioned nonchalantly, “I saw you with that centaur man today. What did he say to you?”

“...he… nothing…” You said vaguely.

“Then why did he touch you? And why were you touching him?” She asked, her voice flat.

“I…” You gulped. “I… don’t know…” You said truthfully.

“Oh, really? You don’t know? You don’t know why a man like him would touch you? You know his reputation in this town. He’s trying to take advantage of you because you're simple.”

“He was… just… being nice…” You said softly.

Your mother snorted. “Men aren’t nice without a reason. I thought you’d know that by now.” She threw down her hairbrush onto the night table and lay down in your shared bed. “You’re not going to have anything to do with him from now on, do you understand? It shouldn’t be difficult for you to manage that, should it?”

You didn’t say anything, just sat at the table and stared into the fire.

“It’s for your own good,” She said, facing away from you. “I know I’m strict with you, but… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You have no problem with me getting hurt when you’re the one doing it, you thought to yourself, but you couldn’t say it. You knew she was right, though. He was a flirt and a bit of a libertine, and you thought that perhaps he was only being nice to you because he saw you as low hanging fruit. It hurt to think of him that way, but it was the only thing that made sense.

He did return in a few days, an older woman riding on his back. She was lovely, even at her age, and was wearing trousers and a practical shirt, but no bodice or ladies coat. Her brown hair was caught back in a tight braid, a few strands of grey weaved in and out.

You saw them arrive from the window of your room as you were getting ready for the day. He was as handsome as always, and you watched him wistfully. As if he could sense you, he looked up and saw you at the window. He smiled at you and waved. Remembering what your mother said, you were unable to smile back and walked away from the window without acknowledging him. You hoped he wouldn’t be too angry at you.

Before you could start work in the laundry, Cathy called you out.

“Birch and his mother are here,” She said, keeping her voice down so that your mother wouldn’t hear. “They want to see you.”

“I cant…” You said in your normal whisper. “Mama will be angry…”

“Don’t worry about your ma right now,” Cathy said dismissively. “You don’t deserve the shit she gives you, you’re just too shy to tell her off. Just go see what they want. Maybe it’s a chance to get out from under her thumb.”

You had to admit, you did wish for that. You loved your mother, and she loved you in her own way, but you knew she resented you and it was just… exhausting, dealing with her reproachfulness and cutting words every day. You were just too scared to leave on your own.

You thought long and hard about it, looking around to see if your mother was anywhere near. When you didn’t see her, you looked up at Cathy, looking just past her behind her ear instead of at her face, and nodded. She took you by the hand and led you out to the dining area. Birch and his mother were sitting at the four-legged table, with his mother having dragged over a chair to sit with him comfortably.

“Oh, good, there you are,” Birch said. “When you didn’t react this morning, I was worried something had happened. Mama, this is the young woman I was telling you about.”

He told his mother about you? Why?

“I see, I see,” The older woman said. “My name is Ryel, I’m Birch’s mother. Your name is Hazel, right?”

You nodded, unable to look up.

“Goodness, you are rather shy, aren’t you, dear?” She said sympathetically. You chewed your lip, unable to respond. “My son tells me you’re illiterate, is that correct?”

You nodded.

“I imagine that makes communicating with other people very difficult,” She said.

You nodded again.

“So, how about this?” She said, leaning forward. “Why don’t you come to the farm with me for the summer? I’ll teach you how to read and write, and in exchange, you help me out around the farm. How does that sound?”

For the first time in your life, you were surprised into looking someone in the face. She was smiling warmly at you

“I’m getting older and I could use an assistant. My children all have their own work and families to look after and I’d feel as if I were taking advantage of them if I expected them to follow me around and help me all day.”

“Mama, you know we’d do it happily,” Birch said.

“I know that,” She said, hushing him. “Even still, I’d prefer to hire someone for the task, and if I can help them at the same time, why shouldn’t I?” She leaned forward. “What do you say, dear?”

This is exactly what you wanted. A job that was away from your mom. This was your chance. You opened your mouth, as if to answer, when you heard a sharp voice behind you.

“Hazel!” Your mother said, irate, and stalked out of the kitchen toward you, grabbing you by the arm. “Stop bothering these people! Get back to the laundry.”

Birch’s back leg kicked slightly in irritation, thumping the wood of the floor, but Ryel kept her composure.

“She’s not bothering us in the least, madam,” She said calmly. “I’ve actually come here to offer her a job.”

Your mother scoffed. “A job? Doing what?”

“As my assistant,” Ryel said. “I’m a jack of all trades type, you might say, and I’m willing to take her on in exchange for room and board, plus an education.”

“You’re wasting your time,” Your mother said, her grip rather strong on your arm. “My daughter is not capable of making her own decisions.”

“How old is your daughter?” Ryel asked.

“She’s nineteen,” Your mother replied. “But I’m afraid she’s a bit slow. Trying to teach her wouldn’t benefit either of you.”

You frowned, upset. That wasn’t true, you weren’t slow. In fact, you thought you learned rather quickly, you’d just hadn’t had the chance to learn very many new things.

“Be that as it may,” Ryel replied, her voice still even. “Your daughter is an adult and has the right to choose what she wants.”

“Nonsense,” Your mother said. “Besides, even if I allowed this, I don’t want her anywhere near him.” She jerked her chin toward Birch.

Birch bristled. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I know what kind of man you are,” She hissed. “How many lovers you’ve had in just this town alone? How many broken hearts have you left in your wake? I know you have ulterior motives for wanting to take her from here, and I won’t stand for it. She’s simpleminded and vulnerable, and I won’t let you dishonor her and return her to me used and broken.”

“Stop talking like she can’t hear every vile thing you say about her!” Birch shouted, slamming his fist into the table, making you jump. “I would never do something so shameful! You don’t know anything about me! ”

“Son, calm down,” Ryel said, putting her hand on his. “My son is a grown man of twenty-eight and has desires, true, but I’ve been to this town quite often and I haven’t found any such string of broken hearts, as you call it. Many sighing and wistful girls who long for his company, sure, but not one of them has come to me with tears in her eyes claiming he lied or misled her. He’s open and forthright about his intentions, and I respect his decisions. You should do the same for your child.”

“Don’t talk to me about my child if you can’t even control your own,” Your mother said venomously. “Hazel, let’s go.”

She tried to lead you away, but you refused to move. There were hurt and anxious tears in your eyes and you couldn’t look at anyone, but you refused to let her pull you away.

“Hazel!” She gripped your arm and yanked you painfully, and you wrenched your arm from her grasp, shaking your head.

“It seems like she’s made her choice,” Ryel said. “The least you can do as her mother is respect her wishes.”

“Be quiet!” Your mother said. “Leave us alone!” She grabbed your hands and started to pull you back to the kitchen. Birch got to his feet.

“Let her go,” He said, his voice a low growl, knocking her hands away from you. He stood between you and your mother. You dared to reach out and place a hand on the fur of his back to steady yourself.

“What’s going on here?” The bartender, Brian, asked. He also owned the tavern and knew about your condition. He didn’t speak to you much, but he also didn’t tease you either. You could handle understanding silence a lot better than persistent expectation to interact. “Are you alright, Hazel?”

You were shaking and crying, so you could only shake your head.

“These people won’t leave us alone,” You mother said. “I’d like them to leave.”

“Now, Rita, these people are good customers and friends of mine. I’m going to need more of a reason than ‘they’re bothering me’ to kick them out.”

“We simply offered young Hazel here a job on the farm,” Ryel said patiently. “I’m afraid her mother is interfering with her decision.”

“Is that true, Hazel?” Brian asked. “Would you like to take up this job?”

Trembling, you nodded.

“Well, then, that settles it, doesn’t it?” Brian said. “These are good folks, Hazel, they’ll take care of you.”

“Like hell they will,” You mother retorted. “She can’t make decisions like this. She doesn't understand.”

Brian sighed. “Rita, your girl’s not stupid, and it’s high time you stopped treating her like she is.”

Your mother looked like she’d been slapped in the face. You looked up at Brian in shock. He smiled kindly at you.

“Why don’t you go up and pack your things while your mother and I have a little chat, eh, dear?” He said.

You attempted to smile at him, though you worried it looked a little like you had indigestion, and went to pack. You took a few minutes to sit on the bed and breathe, clutching your chest, feeling a panic attack poking at your brain. You couldn’t believe it. You were really leaving.

There was a knock on your door and Ryel poked her head in.

“Are you alright, dear? That was quite the fuss,” She said.

You dried your face and nodded, getting up to start putting clothes in a bag.

“I sent Birch outside. He was getting rather angry, and I didn’t want him smashing any of Brian’s furniture.”

You looked out the window. Birch was standing in the courtyard with his arms crossed, stamping the ground and stepping constantly, as if he couldn’t stand still. His brow was furrowed, his jaw was working, and his tail was swishing back and forth without stopping.

“He’s worried for you, dear,” She said, following your gaze. “One thing our entire family has in common is that we don’t like seeing people mistreated. You’re mother may have her reasons for acting as she does, and perhaps it is out of some misplaced notion of love, but there’s no doubt in my mind at all that she mistreats you. You can’t help the way you are, and no amount of her cruel words are going to fix that. In fact, I’m more than certain it makes it worse.”

You sighed sadly in agreement. As you stood there, Birch looked up at your window. He smiled, a little sadder than before, and waved up at you. This time, you raised a hand and waved back.

The door opened and your mother walked in, glaring at Ryel.

“I’d like to speak to my daughter alone, if you please,” She said, her voice low and hostile.

Ryel looked at you questioningly, and you nodded. “I’ll be right outside if you need me,” She said, and walked out, closing the door behind her.

Your mother just stared at you with her arms crossed, shaking her head slightly. You looked down and away.

“I guess I should just be glad you won’t be around to humiliate me anymore,” She said, and you shrunk in on yourself. “I don’t like this at all, but it seems I have no say in the matter. You made sure of that, didn’t you?”

You knew she was hurt and was lashing out. She wasn’t exactly sweet and caring on her best days, but she could really cut a person to the quick when she was upset.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” She asked you, and you could hear tears in her voice. “Nothing at all? You can’t muster the courage to apologize to me for that display downstairs? For leaving me without a thought to my feelings? I’ve spent the last seven years protecting you and providing for you after your useless father threw us out, and you do this to me? And you have nothing to say?”

You didn’t say anything. Instead, you walked up to her and put your arms around her waist and lay your head on her shoulder.

“I’ll miss you, Mama,” You said softly.

She started to sob and put her arms around your shoulders. It had been years since she’d last hugged you.

“You’d better start sending me letters as soon as you learn how to,” She said, her voice breaking. “If I don’t hear something from you in a few months, I’m going out there to drag you back, you understand me?”

“Yes, Mama,” You whispered, and took a step back. Picking up your bag, you opened the door and walked out. Ryel was waiting and smiled when she saw you.

“Ready?” She asked.

You nodded.

Back outside, Birch was waiting. He stopped shifting around anxiously when he saw you and his mother exit the tavern.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Everything’s just fine,” Ryel said. “We’re ready to go.”

“Would you like to ride on my back?” Birch asked, turning.

You shook your head fervently, mortified.

“Are you sure?” He said. “It’s a long walk back to the farm, over four hours. I can get us there in half the time.”

“She’s feeling shy,” Ryel said. “For centaurs, letting people ride on their back is a special privilege afforded to few. I’ll ride with you.” She grinned at him. “He always makes an exception for his mother.”

He grinned at her in return. “You just assume I do.” But he took out a quilted riding blanket that was rolled up and tied to the bottom of his pack and handed it to her, and she set it on his back. Climbing the steps to the tavern, she vaulted onto his back. She instructed you to do the same. Blushing furiously, with both Ryel and Birch’s help, you were able to scramble on in front of her.

“Let’s go,” He said, and he took off at a trot out of town.

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Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[manicinnerthoughts]

I realized today that a huge part of my issue is that I genuinely have no idea who I am. I don't think I ever really knew who I was. I adopted my brother's taste in music and my mother's love for art. The only thing I know for sure is that I am a black female with a shitload of trauma.

I didn't get to grow up with any black influences in my life. Never met my dad's side of the family, the only black figures in my life were my mom's countless boyfriends, and I went to all predominantly white schools.

I've always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I remember when I was a kid I was constantly told I'm the whitest black girl they'd ever met. It didn't help that I was light-skinned, but that's not what they were referring to; they were referring to the fact that I didn't "act black".

We were too white for the very few black kids we knew but black enough for the white kids to ask us why we didn't live in the projects and the white churchgoers to ask us if we were adopted.

My mom used to think it was funny to say that she's blacker than we are because she grew up with all black people and went to predominantly black schools. Yet somehow didn't think it was important for her black children to experience anything other than whiteness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing I have realized recently is that nobody knows me outside of the basic information: my name, where I grew up, my favorite color, my hobbies, and my favorite animals. Even my IRL friends couldn't tell you anything about my life, any genuine knowledge about me.

I want people to know me, but my adult life and my childhood have been 90% trauma and I don't even know where to begin to explain this shit to anyone. I mean, I guess I kinda did that above; I'd like to say that the issues surrounding my ethnicity and identity sums up my childhood trauma, but that's not even the beginning.

I guess it really started by being repeatedly ripped away from my family. I had been in 5 RTFs, 2 respite homes, 2 foster homes, and 3 outpatient facilities by the time I was 17 (which is actually when I was diagnosed with autism). On top of that, we lived in 4 different homes before I graduated high school so I quite literally moved around my entire life.

Imagine being 5 years old and having just been removed from your household for the very first time. Now imagine going through that regularly throughout your childhood. That alone fucks kids up.

My entire life consisted of being the new girl; getting used to new rules, adjusting to new personalities, struggling to make friends; making friends then leaving them.

That's a lot of change for an undiagnosed autistic child (or even an NT child) to go through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life has been a majority of being abused and I genuinely have very few happy memories growing up. My mom has done a lot of fucked up things to me; she's called me racial slurs, thrown things at me, hit me, and even burned me, but none of that compares to the fact that she did nothing to protect me from her boyfriend (I'm assuming you understand where this is going. I don't want to go into detail) Instead of being a loving mother and breaking up with him to keep me safe she kicked me out a few months after I graduated.

That's how I left one abuser for another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had just graduated high school & moved directly into a homeless shelter for a little while. Before I got kicked out I started talking to a guy I went to school with and he said I could stay with him for a while. I was so happy to get out of there that I said yes and I moved in with him.

I stayed with him for 8 years and during those 8 years I was raped repeatedly, held hostage, beaten, and he tried to kill me twice (I know a lot of you are probably thinking you could've just left, but we lived in a third-story apartment and he quite literally imprisoned me. I am also epileptic so I didn't have a license and no family to stay with).

To this day I automatically assume everyone I meet is going to hurt me. My friends have hurt me, my mom has hurt me, the man who claimed he loved me has hurt me. I genuinely fear getting close to people now to the point I isolate myself in a room.

I have tried so hard to heal from all of the shit I have been through. I'm afraid I'm stuck hating myself and everyone around me and I have no clue how to change my view of myself and my view on the world around me.

I know this has probably jumped around a lot and for that I apologize. This has just been me manically writing about shit I struggle to cope with.

[my-random-ocs]

Rise Up Chapter 1: Percy Blows Up Another Building

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x OC (eventual)

Warnings: Mentions of Percy accidentally blowing up a school, betrayal, angst

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"You know this isn't as bad as you think," I told Annabeth, walking down the street.

"Of course it is!" Annabeth insisted. "It's awful!"

"You're being dramatic. Having feelings for Percy... it's great." Annabeth opened her mouth to protest, but I interrupted. "Look, he's a great guy. And it's obvious he's been in love with you since you nursed him back to health and announced he drooled in his sleep. What's so bad about having feelings for him?"

Annabeth looked down at the ground, kicking a pebble along with her feet. "I just- I feel vulnerable."

"Perfectly natural when you have a crush," I assured her.

She sent me a look. "Says the girl who's never had a crush."

"There was this one boy," I said, casting my eyes downward. I shake my head. "I was also ten and he was one of, like, two friends." The boy I was talking about was one I haven't talked about at camp often- even to Annabeth, though she was my best friend. Doing well in school was fairly uncommon when you're a demigod, what with a large percentage having learning disabilities, and skipping a grade was almost unheard of. I was an exception. I skipped the fourth grade, despite having ADHD and dyslexia. It also didn’t help that I’m on the autism spectrum, and that I had gotten kicked out of two elementary schools before Beacon Hills Elementary. I didn't have very many friends before I got to Camp Half-Blood, but there was this boy who was my best friend, and he always defended me.

“Zia!” Annabeth called, waving a hand in front of my face, breaking me from my thoughts. “Help, please!”

“What do you need help with?” I asked, smiling. “Gods, you’re dramatic! You’re not going to die for having feelings- what’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is- I just- what if he doesn’t-” Annabeth stammered.

“The last words out of your mouth better not be ‘what if he doesn’t like me?’ because I will be forced to kick your butt,” I said. “Annabeth, the guy is crazy about you- or was last winter not enough proof of that?” Last winter, Annabeth had gotten kidnapped by a monster and taken to Mount Tamalpais. Percy had just about gone crazy with worry. Annabeth looked at her feet. I nudged her shoulder with mine. “Look, you guys are…” I wave my hand around, looking for the right words. “Meant to be.”

Annabeth snorted. “Oh, yeah, you’re definitely Aphrodite’s daughter.”

“Shut up,” I grinned.

More serious now, Annabeth said, “This is the first time I’ve told anyone. It just- it makes it real.”

I smile softly at her. “Look, whatever happens… you’re going to be okay. Just tell him how you feel. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Annabeth widened her eyes. “He could hear me?”

I laughed, linking my arm through hers and walking faster down the sidewalk toward Percy’s school.

My friend Percy Jackson was recently accepted into Goode High School, the school his mom’s boyfriend teaches English at. I attended Abigail Adams Academy, a K-12 private school near my apartment that I managed to get a scholarship to. I tried to talk him up to the principal there, but they heard Percy’s reputation of getting expelled, and didn’t want to deal with that. Right now, he is at orientation. Why a school held freshman orientation in June, who knows, but he was getting let out in a few minutes. After that, he and Annabeth were going to go to a movie, and that would be my cue to head to Percy’s apartment to visit his mom, Sally. I was meeting my sister and niece there.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed and I pulled it out of the back pocket of my jeans to see a text from my friend Kira. While I was still in the city, I had decided not to wear my camp gear, opting for plain jeans, a long-sleeve gray t-shirt, black converse high tops, and my favorite dark pink hijab. In early June, it was too warm for a jacket.

Hey the text read. Do you want to hang out tonight? Just rented Star Wars

I smiled. Love to. Text you later?

See you

I turn my phone off and put it back in my bag.

“Who was that?” Annabeth asked.

“My friend Kira,” I answered. “We go to school together.”

Just as Annabeth and I arrived at Goode High School, I spotted Percy sprinting down the hill. “Hey, you’re out early!” Annabeth said, clearly excited. She grabbed his shoulders, steadying him. “Watch where you’re going, Seaweed Brain.”

Percy’s appearance was my cue to leave and head to Sally’s apartment. I was about to say goodbye to both of them when a redheaded girl came out. “Percy! Wait up!” She called.

I glanced behind Percy and gasped at the sight of the smoking school in the distance, fire alarms ringing out. “What did you do?” I demanded, my eyes still on the scene.

“And who is this?” Annabeth frowned.

“Rachel Elizabeth Dare,” I realized, recognizing her from last winter.

“Yeah,” she said. “Sorry, I didn’t get your name last year.”

Percy was flustered. “Oh, Rachel- Annabeth and Zia. Guys- Rachel. Um, she’s a friend. I guess.”

“Hi,” Rachel greeted us quickly, then turned back to Percy. “You are in so much trouble. And you still owe me an explanation.

Sirens wailed, getting louder as they made their way up the street.

“Percy,” Annabeth said coldly. “We should go.”

“I want to know more about half-bloods,” Rachel said as if she didn’t hear. I looked at Percy in surprise. He told a mortal about demigods? “And monsters. And then stuff about the gods.” She suddenly grabbed Percy’s arm, took out a marker, and wrote a phone number on his hand. “You’re going to call me and explain, okay? You owe me that. Now get going.”

Percy shook his head. “But-”

“I’ll make up some story,” Rachel insisted. “I’ll tell them it wasn’t your fault. Just go!”

Before anyone could respond, she ran back toward the school, leaving Annabeth, Percy, and I standing on the street.

Annabeth stared at Percy for a moment, then turned and took off down the street without a word.

I offered Percy an encouraging smile, then followed Annabeth.

“Hey!” Percy called, jogging after us. “There were these two empousai-”

My heart stopped. “Empousai?” I demanded. I immediately reached for my camp necklace, and to a locket charm that hung there. In the locket was a photo of me, Nisha, and our father before the attack.

Percy nodded reluctantly, knowing that my father was killed by an empousa. “They were cheerleaders, see, and they said camp was going to burn, and-”

“You told a mortal girl about half-bloods?” Annabeth demanded.

I flinched at her tone, suddenly wishing I was anywhere but here.

“She can see through the Mist,” Percy explained.

“She can?” I asked.

Percy nodded. “Yeah. She saw the monsters before I did.”

“So you told her the truth,” Annabeth said.

“She recognized me from Hoover Dam, so-”

“You’ve met her before?”

“We met last winter, when we were looking for you,” I explained. “Percy almost killed her, and she could see the monsters then, too.”

Annabeth’s expression softened only slightly at the mention of her kidnapping. “She’s kind of cute,” she observed.

I looked at Percy, who was slightly confused. Oh, gods, Percy answer faster, please.

“I never thought about it,” he said.

Answer better.

Annabeth just kept walking.

“I’ll deal with the school,” Percy promised. “Honest, it’ll be fine.”

Annabeth wouldn’t look at either of us. “I guess our afternoon is off. We should get you out of here, now that the police will be searching for you.”

I nodded in agreement, fingering my camp necklace nervously as I watched flames billow up from Goode High School. What had Percy said? Camp would burn.

“You’re right,” Percy said. “We have to get to Camp Half-Blood. Now.”

____________

Annabeth was angry the entire cab ride to Long Island.

All Percy managed to get out of her was that she had had a monster-infested spring in San Francisco, and had come back to camp twice. She wouldn’t tell Percy why, but I knew- I had gone to camp for the same reason. We told Percy that neither of us had heard anything about Nico di Angelo, this demigod son of Hades we found last winter. After his sister died, he ran away from Camp Half-Blood, and, despite our best efforts, we have no idea where he is.

“Any word on Luke?” Percy asked.

Annabeth shook her head. The subject of Luke was a pretty touchy topic for Annabeth. He had practically raised her since she was seven, and she always admired him. About two years ago, he had betrayed the camp and joined Kronos, the king of the titans. Last winter, we fought him on Mount Tamalpais, and he somehow survived a fifty-foot drop off a cliff. Annabeth refused to admit it, but I knew that she still believed in him, and wanted him to come home. Me? The jerk betrayed his girlfriend, two young girls he helped raise, and an infant daughter, though he hadn’t known he had a daughter then, not to mention an entire camp who loved and admired him. Annabeth might not have lost faith in him, but I certainly have.

“Mount Tam is still overrun with monsters,” Annabeth said. “I didn’t dare go close, but I don’t think Luke is up there. I think I would know if he was.”

“What about Grover?” I asked, because I hadn’t really heard from him either.

“He’s at camp. We’ll see him today.”

“Did he have any luck with the search for Pan?” Grover had been searching for Pan since he heard the god’s voice last winter, but hasn’t heard anything since.

Annabeth fingered her bead necklace nervously. “You’ll see,” she said vaguely. Percy and I exchanged worried glances.

As we headed through Brooklyn, Percy called his mom with Annabeth’s phone, and I used my own to call my sister to tell her what was happening. Demigods normally try not to use cell phones, since using one is like broadcasting a light up sign saying “EAT ME”, but I knew my sister would be concerned. As understanding as she is about how suddenly I need to go to camp sometimes, she has the tendency to worry.

After that, the rest of the ride was silent. I decided to text Kira quickly, and tell her I wouldn’t make our Star Wars marathon tonight. I turned my phone off without waiting for a reply. Sometimes I wished I was normal. I loved camp, and my friends, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but sometimes, like today, I just wanted to hang out and watch a movie without the fear of monsters attacking or having to ditch them to go to camp because another friend accidentally blew up their school.

Eventually, Annabeth had the cab driver pull over on Farm Road 3.141, the base of Half-Blood Hill.

“Ain’t nothing here, miss,” the driver frowned. “You sure you want out?”

“Yes, please,” Annabeth said, and handed him a wad of cash. The driver decided not to argue.

We hiked up the hill, where the young dragon Peleus was sleeping, coiled around the pine tree. He lifted his head as we approached, and allowed me to scratch under his chin.

“Hi, Peleus,” I said. “Keeping everything safe, baby?”

Last time I saw Peleus, he was about six feet long, and now he was at least twice that, and as thick as the tree. Hanging on a branch was the Golden Fleece, protecting the camp’s magic borders from unwanted visitors, like monsters. Peleus was relaxed, so I knew nothing was wrong.

Camp Half-Blood itself looked peaceful, normal even- as normal as you can get at a camp with monster-infested woods, a climbing wall oozing lava, and real swords.

Still, something felt off. You could feel the tension in the air, as if the whole place was holding its breath, waiting for something bad to happen.

“I need to talk to Clarisse,” Annabeth said as we walked through the valley.

“What for?” Percy asked in surprise. Normally, Annabeth and Clarisse never even got along, much less worked together. But this was important.

“We’ve been working on something. Zia, too,” she answered. “See you later.” She turned to me. “Z, stay with Percy.” I nodded.

“Workin on what?” Percy asked, looking between Annabeth and I.

“I’ll tell Chiron you guys are here,” Annabeth said instead of answering the question. “He’ll want to talk to you before the hearing.”

“What hearing?”

She didn’t answer, jogging toward the Big House without looking back. Percy looked at me.

“We’ll explain later,” I said vaguely.

“Does… does it have something to do with Luke?” He asked tentatively.

I nodded, fingering my camp necklace. “It has everything to do with Luke.”

____________

Eventually, we made our way to the sword arena to train. We walked into the amphitheater, and Percy threw an arm across my stomach, pushing me back. My eyes focused on what he spotted, and my heart stopped. Sitting in the middle of the room, chewing on a combat dummy, was a hellhound.

It hadn’t noticed Percy or I yet, but it would soon.

Percy took out his sword, and charged. “Yaaaaah!” He yelled, bringing the blade down toward the hellhound when someone came out of nowhere and blocked Percy’s strike with a clang.

The hellhound perked up. “WOOF!”

I drew my own sword, ready to jump in, but Percy seemed to be handling it fine.

“Whoa, there!” The man yelled. “Truce!”

“WOOF!” The hellhound barked again.

“That’s a hellhound!” Percy shouted.

“She’s harmless,” the man said. “That’s Mrs. O’Leary.”

“Mrs. O’Leary?” I asked.

At the sound of her name, Mrs. O’Leary barked again, and I realized she wasn’t angry, but excited. She nudged the soggy practice dummy toward the stranger, and he happily took it, saying, “Good girl.” He launched it across the room toward the bleachers. “Get the Greek! Get the Greek!”

Mrs. O’Leary bounded after the dummy and started chewing on its helmet.

The stranger smiled dryly. He looked to be in his fifties, with short gray hair and beard. He was in good shape for a man that age. He wore black pants and a bronze breastplate over a camp t-shirt. I noticed a weird-looking purple blotch on his neck, like a tattoo, but he covered it with his armor before I could ask what it was.

“Mrs. O’Leary is my pet,” he explained. “I couldn’t let you stick a sword in her rump, now, could I? That might have scared her.”

“Who are you, exactly?”

“Quintus,” he said, sticking out his hand. I didn’t shake it, and he pulled it back toward his side. I didn’t love physical contact with people that I am not comfortable around (for example, holding hands and hugging my friends is fine, but Quintus was a stranger). Plus, I was Muslim, and there were certain restrictions for physical contact between a man and a woman, though sometimes I ignored them when it came to my friends.

“Zia Banerjee,” I answered, giving a small wave.

“Percy Jackson,” Percy said, eyeing the hellhound. “Sorry about- How did you, um-”

“Get a hellhound for a pet?” Quintus asked. “Long story, involving many close calls with death and a few giant chew toys. I’m the new sword instructor, by the way. Helping out Chiron while Mr. D. is away.”

“Mr. D. is away?” I asked. Why would Mr. D. leave camp?

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” Percy whispered, making me snort.

“Yes, well… busy times,” Quintus answered. “Even Dionysus must help out. He’s gone to visit some old friends. Make sure they’re on the right side. I probably shouldn’t say more than that.”

I slowly stepped toward Mrs. O’Leary while Quintus spoke. Despite the hellhounds I’ve encountered in my life, this one didn’t seem dangerous. Or, she was, but not to me, at least.

She stayed calm as I walked over, happily nudging my hand, clearly wanting pets. I giggled softly as I scratched the top of her head. She sighed. It almost looked like she was smiling.

“Good girl,” I smiled. “You’re such a good girl.”

“She’s very gentle,” Quintus said. “She won’t hurt you.”

“I can tell,” I laughed. “She’s so sweet.”

Suddenly, there was a loud thump. Six very large wooden crates were stacked off to the side, and something was rattling inside. Mrs. O’Leary heard and started toward them.

“Whoa, girl!” Quintus called quickly. “Those aren’t for you.” To distract her, he tossed a large bronze shield for the hellhound like it was a frisbee.

The crates shook. They said something, but I was having a hard time reading the words due to my dyslexia.

“What’s Triple G Ranch?” Percy asked.

“A little surprise,” Quintus said. “Training activity for tomorrow night. You’ll love it.”

Along the bottom, I managed to make out a few sentences- a warning label, in all caps: OPEN WITH CARE. TRIPLE G RANCH IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR PROPERTY DAMAGE, MAIMING, OR EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL DEATHS.

“Sounds awesome,” I said.

Quintus threw the shield again, and Mrs. O’Leary bounded after it. “You young ones need more challenges. They didn’t have camps like this when I was a boy.”

“You- you’re a half-blood?” Percy asked in surprise. I was, too. I’ve never met an adult demigod before. I didn’t think my sister really counted.

Quintus just chuckled. “Some of us do survive into adulthood, you know. Not all of us are the subject of terrible prophecies.”

“You know about my prophecy?”

“I’ve heard a few things.”

I wanted to ask what few things, but then I heard a clip-clop, and I turned to see Chiron step into the arena. “Percy, Zia, there you are! I see you’ve met our new instructor.” Chiron sounded casual, but I could see the uneasiness in his eyes. “Quintus, do you mind if I borrow Zia and Percy?”

“Not at all, Master Chiron.”

“No need to call me ‘Master’,” Chiron said, though he sounded pleased. “Come, both of you. We have much to discuss.”

“Well, see you,” Percy said to Quintus.

“See you later,” I said. I turned to Mrs. O’Leary, smiling and using the same tone I used for my little niece. “And bye, baby girl.”

As we walked away, Percy said to me, “I love how you barely talked to the human at all, but talked to the hellhound like she was Amara.”

I shrugged. “She was adorable,” I countered simply.

He smiled, then turned to Chiron, his expression becoming more serious. “Quintus seems kind of-”

“Mysterious?” Chiron supplied. “Hard to read?”

Percy nodded. “Yeah.”

Chiron nodded. “A very qualified half-blood. Excellent swordsman. I just wish I understood…”

He trailed off, apparently thinking better of saying whatever he was about to say. “First things first, Percy. Annabeth told me you met some empousai.”

“Yeah,” Percy said. He told Chiron about the two empousai he fought at Goode, and how one of them, Kelli, had burst into flames.

“Mm,” Chiron said, considering everything Percy had told us. “The more powerful ones can do that. She did not die, Percy. She simply escaped. It is not good that the she-demons are stirring.”

“What were they doing there?” Percy asked. “Waiting for me?”

You know, High School Musical really gave you unrealistic expectations about high school. Troy and Gabriella weren’t exactly fighting monsters in between musical numbers.

“Possibly,” Chiron frowned.

“It’s amazing you survived,” I said, thinking again of my father. “They’re wonderful at deception. Any male hero would’ve been devoured.”

“I would’ve been,” Percy admitted. “Except for Rachel.”

Chiron nodded. “Ironic to be saved by a mortal, yet we owe her a debt. What the empousa said about an attack on camp- we must speak of this further. But for now, come, we should get to the woods. Grover will want you there.”

“Where?” I asked, gladly taking the change of subject.

“At his formal hearing,” Chiron said grimly. “The Council of Cloven Elders is meeting now to decide his fate.”

____________

Chiron said that we needed to hurry, so Percy and I rode on his back. I thought I knew the woods pretty well after living at camp for four years, but Chiron took us an unfamiliar way. We galloped through a tunnel of old willow trees, past a waterfall, and into a glade blanketed with wildflowers.

Three satyrs were seated on rose bush thrones in a circle, with Grover standing nervously in the middle, telling them a story. I figured that this must be the Council of Cloven Elders.

Standing off to the side was Clarisse and Annabeth, who had an arm around Juniper, a dryad, and Grover’s girlfriend. I had met her once when I came back to camp during the spring for the project me, Clarisse, and Annabeth were working on. I liked her a lot.

“It’s going terribly,” Juniper sniffled.

“No, no,” Annabeth reassured her. “He’ll be fine, Juniper.”

“Grover’s girlfriend,” I whispered in Percy’s ear, and he looked at me in surprise.

“Master Underwood!” One of the council members shouted, interrupting Grover. “Do you seriously expect us to believe this?”

“B-but Silenus,” Grover stammered. “It’s the truth!”

Silenus turned to his colleagues and muttered something. Chiron stepped up to them, and I remembered that he was an honorary member of the council.

“Master Underwood,” Silenus continued, “for six months- six months- we have been hearing these scandalous claims that you heard the wild god Pan speak.”

“But I did!” Grover insisted.

“Impudence!” Exclaimed another elder.

“Now, Maron,” Chiron said in an attempt to calm the group. “Patience.”

“Patience, indeed!” Maron said. “I’ve had it up to my horns with this nonsense. As if the wild god would speak to… to him.”

I raised my eyebrows, ready to go over there and knock the horns off their entitled heads, when Juniper bravely stepped forward, looking like she wanted to beat them up herself. Annabeth and Clarisse held her back.

“Wrong fight, girlie,” Clarisse muttered. “Wait.”

“For six months,” Silenus continued, “we have indulged you, Master Underwood. We let you travel. We allowed you to keep your searcher’s license. We waited for you to bring proof of your preposterous claim. And what have you found in six months of travel?”

“I just need more time,” Grover pleaded.

“Nothing!” The third elder chimed. “You have found nothing.”

“But, Leneus-”

Silenus raised his hand, silencing him. Chiron leaned in and muttered something to the group. The council didn’t look happy, and argued amongst themselves, but Chiron said something else, and Silenus sighed and nodded reluctantly.

“Master Underwood,” Silenus said, “we will give you one more chance.”

Grover brightened, and I smiled. “Thank you!” He said.

“One more week.”

The smile dropped off my face. “What?” Grover exclaimed. “But sir! That’s impossible!”

“One more week, Master Underwood. And then, if you cannot prove your claims, it will be time for you to pursue another career. Something suited to your dramatic talents. Puppet theater, perhaps. Or tap dancing.”

I narrowed my eyes in anger.

“But, sir, I- I can’t lose my searcher’s license,” Grover stammered. “My whole life-”

“This meeting of the council is adjourned,” Silenus interrupted, ignoring Grover. “And now let us enjoy our noonday meal!”

He clapped his hands, and a bunch of nymphs stepped out of the trees with platters of vegetables, fruits, tin cans, and other stuff satyrs liked. While the council ate, Grover walked toward us, dejected.

“Hey, guys,” he said sadly. “That went well, huh?”

“Want me to fight those guys for you?” I asked. “Because they seem to suck, and I will totally fight those guys for you.”

“Those old goats!” Juniper exclaimed. “Oh, Grover, they don’t know how hard you’ve tried!”

“There is another option,” Clarisse said darkly.

“No. No,” Juniper immediately protested, shaking her head. “Grover, I won’t let you.”

His face was ashen. “I- I’ll have to think about it. But we don’t even know where to look.”

“We’ll figure it out,” I assured him, knowing what Clarisse meant. “We’ll find something.”

“What are you talking about?” Percy asked, confused.

Before anyone could explain, the conch horn sounded.

“I’ll fill you in later, Percy,” Annabeth said. “We’d better get back to our cabins. Inspection is starting.”

____________

I walked quickly toward the Aphrodite cabin, where I was senior counselor- well, half the time, anyway. Since I had been at camp longer than anyone in cabin ten, I was the official head counselor after my sister left. But since I lived away from camp during the school year, my older sister Silena Beauregard took over.

“Hi!” I called, grinning as soon as I saw her. She was straightening her bunk, and overseeing the rest of the cabin cleanup in preparation for cabin inspection in a few minutes.

“Hey!” Silena greeted happily, placing her inspection scroll and pen to the side to hug me. “I thought you weren’t getting here until tomorrow.”

“Little thing with Percy,” I said, pulling away. “It’s fine- I’m happy to be here.” I looked around the cabin. “The place looks great.”

It was true. My siblings were normally neat-freaks, and honestly, so was I, so our cabin always looked nice. I turned back to Silena. “You’re doing a good job.”

For a split second, she looked pained. But when I blinked, she was smiling brightly, so I must have imagined it. “Thanks. Hey, how’s Nisha? And Amara?”

“They’re doing great,” I said. “Amara’s growing like a weed.”

“Hey, Silena?” A timid voice called. I turned to see a young girl with braces and pigtails step hesitantly up to us. “Where are the trash bags kept?”

Silena reached out, grabbing the girl’s hand and pulling her closer to us. “Oh, Lacy, I want you to meet Zia Banerjee, our sister, and senior counselor in the summers. Zia, this is Lacy. She got here a few weeks ago. Mitchell found her on his way to camp.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” I smiled, holding my hand out for Lacy to shake. She shook it, smiling shyly, then turned back to Silena.

“Trash bags are in the bathroom, under the sink,” Silena said. Lacy nodded and scampered off.

“Okay, she’s adorable,” I told my sister.

“I know, right?” She agreed. “Really shy, though. She’s practically imprinted on me, and Mitchell.” Mitchell was one of our half-brothers, and a year younger than me.

I laughed. “Well, we’ll get her out of her shell soon enough,” I said, and Silena laughed.

“I should go,” she said, picking up her scroll and pen. “Inspection is starting. I’ll see you in a little while, for dinner.”

I nodded, and Silena stepped toward the door. “Hey, Silena,” I called, turning to face her before she walked out.

“Yeah?” She asked.

“What do you know about Quintus?”

Her expression darkened. “I don’t know much,” she answered. “But I know his presence probably means something bad is going to happen.”

____________

After inspection was over- cabin ten did very well- I decided to head down to the strawberry fields with my guitar and song notebook. I was a few measures into the song I had been working on when a voice called out from behind me, “Writing a song about me?”

I jumped, stopping my music and turning to see Ethan Nakamura standing behind the bench. I grinned, leaping up and placing my guitar back in its case. “Hi!” I exclaimed happily.

Ethan was one of my best friends at camp besides Percy and Annabeth. He had gotten to camp a few weeks after I had, and I was tasked with showing him around. He was also from California, from San Francisco, and we hit it off immediately. He was a year older than me, and practically my big brother. He was claimed by Nemesis soon after getting to camp, but since Nemesis didn’t have a cabin, he stayed in the Hermes cabin.

We hugged quickly, then did a complicated handshake we came up with a few years ago. No one else knows it.

“How are you?” Ethan asked, both of us sitting down on the bench.

“I’m good, I just got here a few hours ago,” I answered. “I actually just went to Grover’s hearing.”

“How did it go?” At the look on my face, Ethan guessed, “Not good?”

“Not good,” I confirmed. “They gave him one more week before they take his searcher’s license away.”

“One more week?” Ethan asked. “To find a god that’s been missing for thousands of years?” I nodded, and Ethan whistled quietly. “Wow. What’s Grover going to do?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Annabeth has been trying to convince him to try something we’ve been working on with Clarisse all spring, but no luck. But if he only has a week, then this might be his only option.”

“What is it?”

I sighed. “I can’t say just yet. Chiron knows, and he asked me, Annabeth, and Clarisse not to share it with anyone.”

“Not even your best friend?” Ethan asked. His offense was probably a joke, but I couldn’t tell.

“No,” I said, nervously fingering my locket charm. “Sorry.”

“Hey, no, I’m just joking,” Ethan assured me quickly. “You don’t have to tell me if you can’t.”

I relaxed, moving my hand back down to my lap.

“Hey, so how’s Nisha and Amara?” Ethan asked, changing the subject.

“They’re good,” I smiled. “You wouldn’t believe how big Amara’s gotten.”

He must have noticed something in my expression, because he asked, “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.” He gave me a look and I sighed. “I just- I’m worried about them. I mean, I know that Nisha is more than capable of protecting herself, and Amara, but- Luke is still out there. And he knows that Amara exists, and I’m just worried he’s going to use her to his advantage or something.”

Once, Luke had said he still had friends at camp, and I had realized he probably had spies here, people who had left camp to join his army. I didn’t think there were any spies at camp now. From them, he found out about Amara, his daughter with my sister. She hadn’t told him about her, worried he would try to use the toddler somehow in the war, but he found out anyway.

“They’ll be fine,” Ethan assured me. “Like you said, Nisha can protect herself, and her daughter. And if something does happen, they can come to camp, and we’ll protect them here. Luke is not going to hurt either of them.”

He shakes his head angrily.

“What?” I asked.

Ethan sighed. “It’s just- I hate that the gods won’t protect them. Amara’s a baby, and do you see Aphrodite or Hermes- her grandparents- coming to help? No. They’re gods; they should be doing something.”

“They can’t,” I said, confused at Ethan’s anger. I knew that sometimes he got annoyed with the gods, especially lately, with the war brewing, but I never knew him to be angry. “They can’t interfere. Besides, it’ll be fine. Like you said, Nisha can protect Amara just fine.”

“Yeah,” Ethan said. “Yeah, I know.” He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “Anyway, did you meet Quintus yet? What do you think is in those crates for tomorrow night?”

I let him change the subject to camp training sessions, happily talking about Mrs. O’Leary, and what would be served for dinner tonight, and anything else besides Luke and the gods and the war.

But, still, in the back of my mind, I wondered at his tone.

____________

That night, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean I slept well. I entered the dream world pretty quickly.

See, most demigod dreams weren’t like dreams mortals typically had. We could see events happening in the present, in a different place. We could see events that are about to happen.

Or, sometimes, we could travel back into the past.

I was wandering the woods, not wanting to run into any monsters, but just to look for a quiet place to play my music. I was working on a song that I didn’t want anyone to hear just yet. I walked over rocks as stepping stones, balanced on fallen trees, and splashed through ponds. I was lost in thought. I hadn’t realized how far into the woods I had gone until I heard voices.

“… The heck with laurel wreaths,” a voice was saying. It was rough, and familiar- Luke. I slowed down, something telling me to stay quiet and out of sight.

“I’m not going to end up like those dusty trophies in the Big House attic,” Luke continued.

“You make it sound like you’re leaving,” another voice said. Percy.

I quietly set down my guitar case, and peered around a tree to see Luke wearing a twisted smile. “Oh, I’m leaving all right, Percy. I brought you down here to say goodbye.”

He snapped his fingers. A small fire burned a hole in the ground at Percy’s feet, and out crawled a small creature. A scorpion. My eyes widened.

Percy immediately went for his pen, but Luke stopped him. “I wouldn’t,” he said. “Pit scorpions can jump up to fifteen feet. Its stinger can pierce right through your clothes. You’ll be dead in sixty seconds.”

Percy stared, incredulous. “Luke, what-” He paused. “You.”

What?

Luke stood calmly, brushing off his jeans. The scorpion ignored him. It kept its eyes on Percy as it crawled onto his shoe.

“I saw a lot out there in the world, Percy,” Luke said. “Didn’t you feel it- the darkness gathering, the monsters growing stronger? Didn’t you realize how useless it all is? All the heroics, being pawns of the gods. They should’ve been overthrown thousands of years ago, but they’ve hung on, thanks to us half-bloods.”

What was Luke doing?

“Luke…” Percy managed. “You’re talking about our parents.”

Luke laughed. “Is that supposed to make me love them?” He asked. “Their precious ‘Western Civilization’ is a disease, Percy. It’s killing the world. The only way to stop it is to burn it to the ground, start over with something more honest.”

“You’re as crazy as Ares.”

“Ares was a fool,” Luke spat. “He never realized the true master he was serving. If I had time, Percy, I could explain. But I’m afraid you won’t live that long.”

The scorpion crawled onto Percy’s leg.

“Kronos,” Percy said. “That’s who you serve.”

The air seemed to get colder when Percy said that name.

“You should be careful with names,” Luke said.

“Kronos got you to steal the master bolt and the helm,” Percy continued. “He spoke to you in your dreams.”

“He spoke to you, too, Percy. You should’ve listened.”

“He’s brainwashing you, Luke,” Percy insisted.

Luke shook his head. “You’re wrong. He showed me that my talents are being wasted. You know what my quest was two years ago, Percy? My father, Hermes, wanted me to steal a golden apple from the Garden of the Hesperides and return it to Olympus. After all the training I’d done, that was the best he could think up.”

“That’s not an easy quest. Hercules did it.”

“Exactly. What’s the glory in repeating what others have done? All the gods know how to do is replay their past. My heart wasn’t in it. The dragon in the garden gave me this-” he pointed angrily at his scar “-and when I came back, all I got was pity. Even from Nisha. I wanted to pull Olympus down stone by stone right then, but I bided my time. I began to dream of Kronos. He convinced me to steal something worthwhile, something no hero had ever had the courage to take. When we went on that winter-solstice field trip, while Nisha and the others were asleep, I snuck into the throne room and took Zeus’ master bolt right from his chair. Hades’ helm of darkness, too. You wouldn’t believe how easy it was. The Olympians are so arrogant; they never dreamed someone would dare steal from them. Their security is horrible. I was halfway across New Jersey before I heard the storms rumbling, and I knew they’d discovered my theft.”

The scorpion was sitting on Percy’s knee now. I could barely breathe. All of this- it was too much.

“So why didn’t you bring the items to Kronos?” Percy asked, bringing me back.

“I… I got overconfident,” Luke admitted. “Zeus sent out his sons and daughters to find the stolen bolt- Artemis, Apollo, my father, Hermes. But it was Ares who caught me. I could have beaten him, but I wasn’t careful enough. He disarmed me, took the items of power, threatened to return them to Olympus and burn me alive. Then Kronos’ voice came to me and told me what to say. I put the idea in Ares’ head about a great war between the gods. I said all he had to do was hide the items away for a while and watch the others fight. Ares got a wicked gleam in his eyes. I knew he was hooked. He let me go, and I returned to Olympus before anyone had noticed my absence.” He drew his sword- but it wasn’t his sword. This one was different, one side celestial bronze, the other steel. Why did he get a new sword? “Afterward, the Lord of the Titans… h-he punished me with nightmares. I swore not to fail again. Back at Camp Half-Blood, in my dreams, I was told that a second hero would arrive, one who could be tricked into taking the bolt and the helm the rest of the way- from Ares down to Tartarus.”

“You summoned the hellhound, that night in the forest,” Percy realized.

“We had to make Chiron think the camp wasn’t safe for you, so he would start you on your quest,” Luke confirmed. “We had to confirm his fears that Hades was after you. And it worked.”

“The flying shoes were cursed,” Percy said. “They were supposed to drag me and the backpack into Tartarus.”

“And they would have, if you’d been wearing them. But you gave them to the satyr, which wasn’t part of the plan. Grover messes up everything he touches. He even confused the curse.”

My mind was reeling, trying to process everything Luke was saying. What had happened to my big brother?

Luke looked down at the scorpion, which was now on Percy’s thigh. “You should have died in Tartarus, Percy. But don’t worry. I’ll leave you with my little friend to set things right.”

“Thalia gave her life to save you!” Percy said. “And this is how you repay her?”

“Don’t speak of Thalia!” Luke shouted. “The gods let her die! That’s one of the many things they will pay for. I remember seeing Nisha after that empousa killed her father. She was devastated, but she had to be strong. Zia… she was wrecked, and Nisha was forced to step up and raise her. The girls were destroyed, and Aphrodite, their mother, wasn't there for either one. She should have been.”

That was the breaking point. I drew my sword, stepping out from behind the trees. “What are you doing?” I demanded, drawing both Luke and Percy’s attention. My eyes were on Luke as I tried to keep my voice from shaking. “What- you made us go through- I- I trusted you!” I couldn’t stop stammering, my mind going a mile a minute. “I loved you- Nisha loved you. You were my hero!” I shook my head. “Why?”

“You wouldn’t understand, Zia,” Luke said. “You have enough trouble understanding the little details, let alone the big picture, of anything you encounter. I don’t expect you to understand my reasons.”

My eyes stung. Never- not once- has Luke ever spoken to me like that. He had been dating Nisha for two years before we met, and he immediately took me under his wing. With my autism, I always had to try hard to come across as socially competent. My jokes tended to land wrong, I had a difficult time registering social cues, and I info-dumped a lot. But Luke never cared about any of that. He helped Nisha raise me since the moment I got to camp. I couldn’t believe he would use that to insult me now.

“What has your mother ever done for you, Zia?” Luke continued. “Kronos will rise. You two have only delayed his plans. He will cast the Olympians into Tartarus and drive humanity back to their caves. All except the strongest- the ones who serve him.”

“You won’t get away with this,” I vowed, forcing my voice to be stronger.

Luke tilted his head, smirking. “Oh, Zia. I already have. Good-bye, both of you. There is a new Golden Age coming. You won’t be part of it. I would ask you to tell Nisha good-bye for me, but neither of you will be able to make it back to camp.”

He slashed his sword in an arc and disappeared in a ripple of darkness.

The scorpion lunged at Percy. I jerked forward instinctively, and swatted it away from him with my hand. Percy uncapped his sword and swung at the scorpion as it jumped at me, cutting it in half in midair.

I thought that everything was fine until I looked down at my hand. The back of it, where I had hit the scorpion, had a huge red welt, oozing and smoking yellow. The thing had gotten me.

My ears pounded. My vision went foggy. I stumbled, almost collapsed. I barely registered arms around me, holding me up, someone calling my name.

My vision was getting dark.

‘Sixty seconds’ Luke had said.

I had to get to camp. Percy was holding me, shouting for help, dragging me toward camp.

I felt something wrap their hands around my arms, removing me from Percy’s, tugging me toward camp.

I made it to the clearing, where I recognized my sister’s face, her screaming, a centaur blowing a conch horn.

Then everything went black.

____________

I bolted upright in bed, breathing hard. I was sweaty. I felt something wet on my face, and I reached up and realized I was crying. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. Four in the morning.

Everyone in the Aphrodite cabin was sleeping. The girl on the top bunk above me, Emily, was snoring lightly. The new girl, Lacy, turned over in her sleep.

I looked down at my hand. I couldn’t see it in the dark, but there was a scar there, from that scorpion. Even the ambrosia and nectar the Apollo cabin gave me couldn’t heal the scar, a vivid reminder of that horrible day.

I remembered how much I missed Luke in the days after his betrayal. I hadn’t wanted to admit it, but I did. Before that day, I had a big brother. I was sure of my place in the world, I was happy.

Now, everything was so uncertain, and I didn’t have a clue what to do about it.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

So as most of you know, I have been trapped in Haikyuu hell thanks to my boyfriend for the last week and a half. I'm already midway through season two but I'm taking a bit of a break from binging to get my sixth episode in my cartoon script out by next weeks end. For those of you that talk to my religiously (my boyfriend, or my best friend Tara of @targaryens-blog) then this OC will already be familiar to you! If not I wanted to introduce her to all of you as well as some of my favorite HC ideas for her and her canon partner.

Aratani is a student at Nekoma who went there with a specific goal in mind. Before she won best female libero in her prefecture, she met a boy that occupied all her thoughts through her best friend Bokuto. That boy was, of course, my best boi Tetsurou Kuroo. Her first early morning practice she runs into the object of her affections and the rest was as they say history.

Aratani is a more... reckless libero and she often gets hurt trying to go after seemingly impossible balls and managing to get injured with cuts, bruises, and scars along the way. She has a scar on her right hand from a beach volleyball incident. She is naturally a bit more quiet then her best friend. She isn't as loud or chaotic without Bokuto. She's a lot more reserved and shy in fact when he isn't around her. But when he is around her hoo boy the chaos is real. Their one on ones could literally last for hours without either of them taking a break unless one or both of their significant others stop them.

Aratani also loves video games! This makes her really close with Kenma something that I wanted to do because if you date Kuroo automatically Kenma has to fit in there somewhere. I HC Kenma as on the spectrum mainly because of how quiet he is and how obsessed with video games he is. They are a remarkably common special interest of those that are on the autism spectrum.

She is also Bokuto's next door neighbor! They met when she was six and they've been besties ever since that day. He was the one who taught her everything that she knows about volleyball as a sport. They're those friends that tell each other literally everything because both of them are on the mental health spectrum (more on that later!)

For my HCs if you want to stay that long they will be behind the read more line!

HC time!

Her with Kuroo:

*Her and Kuroo have that relationship where nobody understands how it works except for them. To the outside world they're complete opposites but to each other, they're perfect.

*If there is anybody in the relationship that knows they are in charge it's Aratani. Kuroo would willingly follow her anywhere that she wanted to go (Kenma always jokingly tells him that he's such a whipped simp for his gf but he just loves her so much and that's the tea sis.)

*Kuroo absolutely, 1 billion percent, screams like a woman. If you want an example, Tara told me that he screams like Jonah Hill does in The Accepted. I died laughing.

*He is also terrified of bugs. Even the little ones have him quaking in terror and screaming for Aratani to get rid of them.

*Aratani is insanely strong. Like she's small but could totally kick your ass and everybody knows it. Most of the Nekoma volleyball team is terrified of her, especially Lev because damn does Tani have a mean glare. Most of the time though she loves her best friends.

*She starts off incredibly shy but once you get to know her you find out that she's stubborn, cocky, confident, boisterous. Kuroo loves all these different sides of her his favorite is definitely her confident side. He loves that she doesn't let anybody get to her. Whenever people talk down to her she'll just come at them ten times harder (he also finds this part of her massively sexy-somebody please help him LMAO)

*Not only does Kenma have autism, but it is of my general experience and consensus that Akaashi has aspergers. You can pry this HC from my cold dead fingers.

*Aratani loves Disney. She's that Disney fan that prefers the older films and she could watch Brother Bear a million times more than she already has and still not be tired of it. Her other favorite is one of my underrated faves The Happiest Millionaire. Her and Kuroo's first official date was to Tokyo Disneyland when her aunt had a showcase.

*She could spend hours playing with Kuroo's hair. It doesn't matter what they're doing but she just loves when he rests his head in her lap and plays with his hair.

*Going along with the hair HC Kuroo is obsessed with hers. He's always preferred girls with longer hair but the second she took her hair out of her bun that she uses for volleyball when he first met her he was stricken with her.

*Aratani radiates little spoon energy. Even if she was taller she still would because as strong as she is she loves being comforted.

*When I write for them I see them as Annabeth and Percy in the Percy Jackson books. I feel like that gives them a sold mood in general.

Her with Bokuto:

*Bokuto has borderline personality disorder. He also has ADD. His lows get super low so she has to be there for him. She loves being there to support and love her best friend. *They are absolutely the two people who sing to Disney songs while on the ride. Especially if the song is catchy. The only one where they don't is Small World because usually Aratani cries on that ride. She loves the song and it makes her really emotional. *Bokuto actually writes his own songs. It's how he expresses himself when he's at a low point. Aratani sings the songs that he writes for his Instagram.

*Platonic. Cuddle. Besties. That's all. They are super clingy with each other during their movie nights because they've been friends for so long.

*No matter what she can always count on Bo to be there before anybody else even Kuroo. He'll just run to her no matter how far he is.

*They could literally spend days together just hanging out and most of their summers are spent at Aratani's backyard swimming in her backyard.

*Bo is Aratani's go to taste tester for sweets. She loves to bake for him mostly because it's something that makes him happy.

*(His favorite of her sweets is her mint chip brownies)*He us also the king of braiding her hair. He loves to just play with her curls especially since it's calming to him.

*Bo loves to watch her play video games. He could just rest against her as she plays Kenma in Mario Kart. Video games are something that he's never been the best at but he could just rest next to her.

[bigoltrashpile]

I have aspurgers syndrome, so seeing all this talk about autism making me smile. Do you think you could do another lucky x reader x Butch were the reader is really insecure about their autism and they praise her in the bedroom until she stops talking about themselves like that?

I’m glad you’re liking the whole autistic Papyrus trend going on!  It’s canon and anyone who says otherwise can fight me.  Anyway, here we go!

You really hated yourself sometimes.  Sure, everybody does once in a while, but you just really despised your stupid brain.  Why couldn’t you just be normal?  Why couldn’t you have a regular amount of interest in something?  Or go to a public place without freaking out from all the different stimuli?  Or have a conversation without saying something that isn’t funny to anyone but you?

You sat alone in your room, trying not to cry too loudly.  Your bedroom wasn’t used that often, since you usually slept in one of your boyfriends’ rooms, but it was still nice to have this little sanctuary.  Here, they probably wouldn’t go looking for you.  Probably.

Sadly, today was not one of those days where they left you alone.  “Y/N?  are ya in here doll?” Butch’s gruff voice called from outside.  You tried not to breathe too loudly in the hopes that he would leave.  The door creaked open and you cursed yourself for not locking it.  Sure, he could teleport in, but a door was locked, he usually respected your privacy.

Butch poked his head inside the room and his eyes widened at your tear-stained face.  “sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“N-Nothing,” you said quickly.  “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.”

Butch stepped fully into the room before sitting next to you on the bed.  He pulled your head towards him so that it was resting against his chest.  “no offense, but i don’t believe ya.  now, ya wanna tell me what’s actually goin’ on?”

You sighed.  It was always hard to lie to your boyfriends, both because it made you feel guilty, and they were good at sniffing out the truth.  Part of their job, you guess.  “I’m just…not feeling very good about myself,” you admitted.  “Mostly because of…you know.”  You tapped your head with your finger.

Butch frowned.  “hey now, just ‘cause ya think different from most humans doesn’t make ya stupid or anything.”  He kissed your temple softly.  “it doesn’t make you any less amazin’, and it sure as hell don’t matter to me or lucky.  hell, i think that it makes ya even more amazin’ and smart,” he grinned.

You smiled gratefully up at him.  “Thanks, that’s nice of you to say.”

Butch squinted at you.  “ya still don’t believe me, do ya?”

You didn’t make eye contact.

Butch sighed before pulling his phone out of his pocket.  He tapped the screen a few times before typing out a message.  He tossed his phone onto the bedside table.

Almost before you could even think to ask what that was all about, the door was kicked open by a familiar blur of color.  “Y/N!!!  PREPARE TO BE CHEERED UP!” Lucky shouted as the door bounced off the wall from the force of his kick.

You laughed at his over-the-top entrance.  “I’m already feeling better with the both of you here,” you giggled.

“NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” Lucky interjected before strolling over to the bed and placing a kiss on your forehead.  “WE’RE GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF, EVEN IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT!”

You squinted suspiciously at Butch.  “What did you tell him?” you asked threateningly.

Butch shrugged nonchalantly.  “just that you’re feelin’ bad, so we gotta worship ya until ya stop.”

Your face flushed.  “Y-You don’t have to do that,” you argued.  Not that you didn’t want them to, it was just that you didn’t want them to feel obligated.

“DON’T BE SILLY,” Lucky argued, already loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.  “IT IS OUR SWORN DUTY AS YOUR BOYFRIENDS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL NEEDS!  AND WE ARE MORE THAN HAPPY TO,” he reminded you, giving you a little wink as he slipped his shirt off.

“he’s right, doll.  it’ll be our pleasure,” Butch purred, phalanges starting to pet your hair, tugging just right.

Lucky chuckled darkly at your soft moans as Butch pulled your hair gently.  “Now, How About We Get Those Pesky Clothes Of Yours Off?” he suggested.  You knew if you said no, they would both stop immediately, and the three of you could spend the day cuddling and watching shitty movies.  If you said yes, however-

Instead of answering, you just shucked your shirt off eagerly.  As if you would say no.

Butch laughed softly, the low tone sending shivers up your spine.  You tried to ignore it, pulling your pants off as well.

As soon as your underwear was off, Lucky knelt in front of you, while Butch moved behind you, legs framing yours.  You whimpered slightly as Lucky gently nudged your thighs apart without breaking eye contact with you.  He placed a kiss on each of your inner thighs, and you trembled.

Butch laughed softly.  Somehow, he’d gotten rid of his shirt sometime, and his bare ribs rubbed your back like a strange massage.  He reached around and began to fondle your chest happily.  “so fuckin’ beautiful,” he purred as you moaned from the slight stimulation.  “don’tcha think so, blue boy?”

Lucky glared up at Butch.  “Don’t Call Me That, Asshole,” he spat before returning his attention back to the issue at hand.  “But Yes, Our Little Human Is Absolutely Gorgeous!”

His long tongue made an appearance as Lucky’s mouth opened, revealing his fangs.  “And She Tastes As Good As She Looks.”

With that, he dove in between your legs, licking a long, wet stripe from the bottom of your folds to the tip of your clit.  You threw your head back, letting out a lewd moan.  They both laughed at your reaction, Butch leaning down to kiss your neck, sucking a few hickeys into the soft skin.

Lucky licked little kitten licks on your clit, making you whine and mewl.  He chuckled, the vibrations sending a wave of pleasure through your body.  “S-shit, please, Lucky, please-!” you begged, not sure what you were asking for.

Lucky seemed to take your words as pleads for more, and so plunged his tongue inside you, making you scream.  Butch moaned at your noises, pinching and pulling your nipples.  “fuck yeah, that’s it, scream fer us, tell us how good it feels,” he growled.

When you remained quiet, Lucky glared up at you before pulling out, making you whine.  “I Believe He Gave You An Order,” he said threateningly.  He slowly slid a finger inside you, the slight stretch feeling delightful.

“Ah!  It feels s-so good, Daddy!” you panted, calling out the name you knew Butch loved.

“nah, don’t bother with titles tonight, baby,” Butch corrected gently.  “this is about you right now.”

Seemingly satisfied with your words, Lucky went back to work on your pussy, adding another finger and licking your clit as he went.  Your eyes practically rolled back in your head at the stimulation, and you could feel yourself getting close already.

“Oh, You’re Clenching Around Me Dear, Are You Ready To Cum?” Lucky asked, almost tauntingly.  “We’ve Only Just Begun, And You’re Already So Desperate.”

Butch chuckled.  “that’s alright, baby, go ahead and cum whenever ya want, we’re making you feel good after all.”  He massaged your breasts, alternating between loving, soft strokes, and harsh squeezes.

Between your legs, Lucky smiled up at you, seemingly agreeing with Butch.  He gave your clit an especially harsh suck, and you felt yourself on the very edge of pleasure, just needing a tiny little nudge to topple over.

The two of them seemed to know that, and at the exact same time, Butch bit down on your neck and Lucky plunged his fingers inside you as deep as they would go, curling them so they hit that perfect spot inside you.  The combination of stimuli, Lucky’s fingers and tongue, Butch’s hands on your nipples and teeth on your neck, didn’t just tip you over the edge, but instead threw you over it.  You screamed as you came all over Lucky’s face, thighs squeezing his head tightly.  Your vision turned white on the edges, and you weren’t sure whether it lasted just a minute or an hour.

When you came down from your high, Butch and Lucky were both gently petting your thighs and hair, respectively.  You smiled drunkenly.  “T-thanks guys, that was amazing,” you mumbled.

Butch laughed.  “aw, that’s cute, she thinks we’re done!”

Lucky chuckled as well.  “Silly Girl,” he cooed, nipping your thighs gently.  “We Told You We’d Go All Night, Didn’t We?”