#making myself sad with the concept i chose

[siggiedraws]

I just find out that the concept art of Sonic 3 the movie was all made by ai. I’m so sad that paramount chose to do this instead of choosing one of the many Sonic fans to make the concept art, I would love to see you make concept art for a Sonic movie 🥺

that's so sweet of you to say anon! 😭 I don't consider myself a professional concept artist, that's not my expertise, but I feel flattered that you feel that way!

as for the AI concept art, I saw it this morning and it was disappointing. I don't think all the concept art was all made by AI but the main offender seemed to be one person on the team. I'm not sure how someone like that was hired.

[flyolai-brainrot]

me: i hate drawing hair

also me: always spends the most time drawing the most complicated hair

[tiktaaliker]

it's pride month and that inevitably means that I start overthinking things about myself

[theoccultz]

How will your future spouse pursue you ?

Ok you guys the series is finally here

All of my pacs are queer friendly

Since not everyone wants to get married , you could read for your s/o as well

Pics and dividers not mine , credits to their rightful owners @/saradika

Apologies for any mistakes

Let me know which pile you picked and don't be afraid to express your thoughts (:

Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.

🫀 Pile l.

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

>>> | Queen of swords , 4of wands , 5 of cups |

This person is gonna be competitive for your attention , they dont fall in love easily and when they do its ride or die , they are your typical bad boy stereotype that you see in the movies , they are someone who knows they are the best in the room this person's self esteem & self concept is amazing, their confidence speak for itself, they are someone who has seen a lot of things in life and their way of getting to you is very simple and straightforward, maybe in the past people weren't as actively pursuing you as you would love them too but this person is not like this , they are on your face they know they want you and they're gonna be sincere & upfront about it , this person is generally very quiet and people have a lot of ridiculous assumptions about them like they're a player etc etc but best believe me they're really not what others think of him , this person is hot asf , you could be a very stubborn person who takes decision carefully about their life and this will stress them out n,ot in a way to deceit anyone but they know they have to prove everyone wrong so that you see them truly for who they are awww:(

Anyways this person is very masculine in nature , they are gonna act as a mentor and a caregiver, you want this ? I got it , you need this ? Its on me ....and you're like wtf i can do that myself but its just their way to make you feel special , this person does not do that for everyone if they are doing 50% for you then they are gonna do 20% for their friends its like they value your connection a lot and they don't want you to feel like you're just like everyone else in their life , this person is gonna defend you in every situation be it with their family or friends they dont give a shit , this person is also very keen on you they notice everything about you , how you care for people what you like to wear so their another hobby will be gift giving they are very thoughtful and they'd love to make you smile . The four of wands with the five of cups rx is very much i don't want to see them sad , i don't want them to doubt our connection, i want to put efforts for them , i want to do SO much that this person never feel less about themselves, i feel like being with this person , one of the best things about them ...that you're gonna like is they are deadly whatever they do its 100% efforts they dont like to tease their partner even in a slightest way because they know words can stick with a person forever so they're very mindful ,people can envy this the most about you guys its like no one can say anything bad abt my partner if you're gonna be passive then i might play this game as well , they could have a scorpio mercury or virgo so whatever they say is gonna hurt the other person because scorpions and virgos are known for their details , they study people very deeply , whatever they say hold meaning.

This person is definately that cold hearted girl/ guy or you are because i'm picking up on this black cat energy from you and cats do not chose their owners instantly neither do they love everyone. I Also picked up on a very rockstar appearance like long hairs , leather jacket, ripped jeans , its so cool , they remind me of early 2000's era

How will they pursue you : competitively , your friends post you every week ?? ...i'm gonna post you everyday its that kind of person lol , the back of the deck I usually take that as an overall energy is ace of pentacle which is a very stable and set energy in its own so whatever they do , they do it to achieve victory , to be recognised, to show you that they are the shit (;

Channelled song :

Thank you for reading!!

🫀Pile ll .

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

| 10 of cups , strength, four of swords |

Ok so this is our cool guy /girl lmao

Even though they will be putting in efforts to pursue you , you shouldn't know that they are doing that , i feel like they will be pursuing you from the get go like this person on a random monday evening will just accept i have feelings for this person and i want them , now this person will try to make it seem like its all a coincidence, this could be a leo mercury or gemini they try to entertain people with their words but their words hold honesty which people cant always catch so they will try to make you feel comfortable like you should feel happy in their presence and it will satisfy them and they will replay this in their mind at night like oh this person laughed at my joke they touched me i made them happy and it brings a smile on their face , they might say or do things which will make you laugh take a scenario like OH ...and you're like what happened and this person is like deja vu darling i think we belong together the universe knows and its so cheesy but its also so cute , they like to break this barrier between you guys , this person will be friendly towards you , they will flirt with you , they're also very spontaneous and a little bit tricky they love to play with you , lets say you guys have a dinner plan and you're excited you're dressed up you have already reached the venue but they will purposefully show up late and when you text them they're like WHAT...? We had plans ? but they are just joking they are alrdy at the venue waiting for you to see them , they might even joke with you like oh i have 5 kids to feed ofcourse i'm late & its a very playfully banter , you play along like YOU match their freak ... its ridiculous you wanna be mad at them but you can't but i understand your feelings pile 2 and i validate 🙂‍↔️✋🏽

I really think this person is gonna steal your parents love like 😭✋🏽they are the favourite child now , this person has a tendency to play cool like they dont wanna give in first..... they want you to give in first its kind of a cute ego idk , let's take a scenario they say "love you " and you're like where's my " I LOVE YOU " and they're like yes "I LOVE YOU TOO" so petty 😭 they have this natural ability to piss you off , this is the type of person when someone would ask you guys ..."so who confessed first ??...they're gonna jump in like ofcourse it was them , they were crazy about me like you dont know i had to give in but its not true its the opposite. So as you can already guess their ass ? Dramatic ...but you cant say they are dramatic because they are gonna be MORE dramatic about it .

How will they pursue you ? With fear because i feel like they will mask their desire to make you theirs with humour you could start off as friends or colleagues so they cant be very open about their feelings because they feel like you are not focused on love and you might reject them so it's their little cute tactics to get to your heart yeah but they are gonna be very anxious about it they could even suffer from inferiority complex.

Channelled song:

Thank you for reading!!

🫀Pile lll.

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

• 3ofcoins, wheel of fortune rx , seven of swords rx •

This person will absolutely be focused on providing comfort to you whether it be emotional or sexual , they love to do things with you they love to hang out with you , they creatively express themselves, they are someone who's gonna listen to your rants they are gonna embrace every flaw & every good thing about you , you are gonna feel exposed in their presence there's something about this person knowing you more than you know them , they really love to spend time with you , i'm seeing this person pushing you towards better goals like your life is gonna improve being with them ,this person will be very happy for your success, they are gonna put you on pedestal they think you are more lovable than them and you deserve more than them and i can confidently say they'll always love you more than you love them its very sweet but also sad , they have insecurities yet they are here trying to soothe your heart, they are gonna apologise first its like they dont wanna lose you they know how to keep a connection you wouldn't need to worry this is a connection where you can let yourself just be you aint gonna walk on eggshells, they are mature , i feel like this person cannot express themselves through words so they prefer to write to you , take you to places with them , praise you infornt of others , make you something, i feel like this persons love is comforting and sweet , you are their equal and they want you to feel like that.

This person will definately engage more in your life , they are gonna be supportive towards you like a best friend, they will overgive to you , they can even say stuff like ...." as long as i'm here i'm gonna be there for you ".....they will hold your hand while you walk they will listen to your problems, they will embrace your silly nature , take you out , spend time with you " i'm getting this line you came and the other one is like you called " it went viral on tiktok i think its from a movie but yeah the energy is very much sweet

Oh you guys this is so sweet , you guys dont speak the same language? They're gonna learn for you we have that kind of person here , you know when they are in love they get hearty eyes it shows on their face and in their behaviour, those sneaky eye contacts , those blush when you are mentioned, the sincerity in their words ,its all there .

How they're gonna pursue you ? Its very passionate and being Passionate does not mean always having hots for each other and that is exactly how they will make you feel , you feel this wholeness i'm having a hard time describing it...its so divine...you know just so grateful and lucky to have a connection like this in this day n age , Yeah 😭this is sooooooo damnnn cuteee i'm scared of this person's energy its very intense , i mean your partner is into worshipping & if you like this then this is definitely your pile (:

Channelled song:

Thanks for reading!!

[bakugoushotwife]

in my opinion, gojo’s storyline has been handled so so poorly i can’t help but think it’s intentional. it is not bad writing to kill a character—even a beloved character. i know most people will dismiss my criticisms because gojo is so beloved to me and so many others. i’ve said before that i don’t mind if he died. does it hurt? of course, and i would still cry and be sad about it. but there is a beautiful way to do it. with respect and honor for his legacy—for what he has done for your manga, the characters in it, and audiences worldwide. but no…gege chose the path of horror and disrespect. at certain points i’d say to myself, well. this is a dark manga. but essentially gojo is the only character that receives this treatment. since the beginning—since suguru left him, he’s been wondering if he mattered because he was a person, or if he only mattered because he was powerful and useable. we certainly fucking answered that question. he is a weapon and nobody ever cared about him at all!!!

and we knew he was being used—he knew he was being used, but he is selfless. so he did it for his kids. for megumi and yuuji and yuuta—he wanted them to be safe. in these flashbacks it’s exceedingly clear that he knew he would die. again—that’s not my issue. gojo dying to sukuna makes plenty of sense and it would hurt to leave it there. but to give us an afterlife scene where he’s presented a choice—north and south—that concept lead nowhere, that’s truly fucked up. to leave all the subtle clues and hints for no reason but to keep people reading and theorizing his return is fucked up. to continue to use his imagery to promote your manga when you know he’s not even honored in your manga is fucked up. we don’t get a funeral or a grave for him. no one’s spoken about him in chapters despite him fighting for hours against sukuna and damaging him so much that yuuji could win, nothing. yuuta wearing him like a costume and no one is horrified about it. i thought his students WERE different. they weren’t jujutsu society yet. that’s why gojo was their teacher—shaping them into better human beings. how am i supposed to trust in their future when it seems they’re just as cold and heartless as everyone before them? no one has honored gojo in any way since the moment he died. and they’ve forgotten about him. he spent his entire life fighting and no one can even say thank you. gege intentionally used gojo to promote the end of his manga because he knows that gojo fans make up at least half of his fanbase so had we stopped reading when he died, he would have lost a lot of traction. he baited us intentionally, cruelly, and something that transcends storytelling. i’ve truly never seen a mangaka have this sort of vitriol for one of their characters and the people that love him.

we spent the entire last chapter talking about some random fucking mission when we have several unanswered questions and concerns. i thought gege said he wanted this ending to be shocking and something you didn’t see in shonen? tying everything up neatly where no one has any trauma or grief for what they’ve experienced, everyone comes back to life except the one character you hate specifically and choso, defying your own power structures and having everyone laughing into the sunset is exactly how shonen ends so what in the fuck is he talking about??

let me disclaim, this is not megumi hate at all. i love him very much and i am so happy he’s back with the group but like. he shouldn’t be able to even walk. he tanked unlimited void for over 6 minutes whenever that length caused irreversible damage to sukuna himself. not to mention the countless black flashes. so what the fuck? he doesn’t mention gojo at all?? the first time he laughs in this manga is after he reads a note written by his dead fucking caretaker about his dead fucking father? like i don’t believe. random open ended kenjaku/suguru mention just to piss me off, an absolutely no mention of gojos sacrifice or how they’ll miss him. i’m sick to my stomach. gege defiled his memory both in the story and outside of it. wow.

P.S. SUKUNA CARED MORE ABOUT GOJO THAN ANYONE ELSE (SUGURU IS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS I MEAN HIS STUDENTS AND SOCIETY)

[catsushizz]

Love me until I love myself - S.R

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Summary: Spencer got used to his life consisting of books and the BAU he had never truly viewed the prospect of love but when you came it all just clicked.

Warning: no use of y/n

Fluff

WC: 1.1k

----

Spencer got used to waking up with an empty bed beside him and it never crossed his mind that it made him feel lonely or sad it just felt natural. His apartment is quiet and he never noticed that his eyes grow somber as the day passes, it's unnoticeable, subtle but there.

He was in a state where no one knew what was going on with his life but he'd like to think that his life was a mere touch of tranquility whenever there was no phone going off every second of the day.

But a single touch of color changed how he perceived life and gradually he found himself falling in love. It's like the cosmic collided when you first talked to him and from there on public libraries became his solace everything you like became his safe space, benches in the park, the car that you take road trips in, the Lumineers, and your favorite cafe. You were the color that was missing from his blank canvas, no matter how rough he was, you smoothened the edges of his life.

You were the subject of his poems, the muse of his dreams, and the bearer of his heart. Tangled in a sea of messy sheets, your hands draped over his torso, his head buried in the crook of your neck, and for the first time, he was terrified of waking up alone.

His eyes flutter open and search for you and when they land on your sleeping figure he can feel his heart palpitate in adoration. The ever-growing branches of his life continued to grow but were now accompanied by the leaves that were growing between the crevice of his broken branches.

Your touch was addicting, your fingertips would explore every inch of his body. He notices when your finger brushes against his scars you massage patterns with precision and he feels like his heart could burst, he loves you so much it hurts.

He can't even imagine the storm taking you away from him, he would suffer an endless flood if that were to happen.

He loves how you glow so effortlessly under the scrutiny of the sun or the way you hold his hands whenever you feel like he needs it but he especially loves the fact that you love him despite his flaws. There are nights when you fought so loudly and exchanged some hurtful words, and he remembered how much he wanted to take it back but you weren't perfect either and that molded you both together so perfectly that not even the afterglow can rival it.

Spencer never really quite grasped the concept of life solely because he didn't know if he was choosing the right path and it keeps him up at night, what if he chose a different path and completely risked not meeting you? he would rather die, you were cuddled up with him on the couch watching documentaries when he blurted out his concerns, but your sentiments deemed his thoughts.

"I think no matter what path you choose, it will always lead to us, our souls are intertwined, and it's carved in our hearts. There's a possibility that there's a chance for us to meet again in another lifetime I think I will recognize you, purely because I'm sure our souls left remnants of our past lives to help us remember how much we truly loved each other," you whispered, as you ran your fingers through his unruly hair.

His heart skipped a beat, you still make him feel that way despite his youth withering each day, you make him feel young.

"I love you, you're the best thing life has given me" he tried his best to keep his voice stable but it wobbled and you chuckled lightly.

"You know I love you more" You wiggle your brows at him with a grin. He laughed and pulled you impossibly close.

"But I love you most" he replied and you groaned burying yourself in the crook of his neck.

"we're not gonna bicker about this again, let's just say we love each other so much that time can't measure it" you murmured as you kissed the crook of his neck, he giggled at the contact of your kiss making you subconsciously smile.

"But I love you more than everything though" he teased.

"Don't you dare quote Beautiful Boy to me right now" you sternly said and he laughed. Oh, his life was different now but different in a way where you crave for it to last forever.

His broken parts where he learns to hate, you learned to love, and the things you hate about yourself he came to adore. Spencer always felt like an extra piece in a puzzle but turns out you were too, both of you stand out in the best way possible, and to the ends of the earth, he will follow you, his life in the BAU be damned.

If ever old age has its way of finding him then all the light in the world may cease to exist. Time can consume so much in a person, that Spencer wasn't sure if he liked it but growing old with you was a different story.

He'll live and tell a story of how much he loved a single girl who completely changed his life, even if his hand trembles in every movement he makes, and even if his memory fades he'll hold on to you so deep in his heart until his next life where he gets to hold you again.

The theory of everything started when you met and ended when his skin gradually changed and how his wrinkles deepened until he was one with nature.

Buried next to each other as both of you wished, your children visit the sacred place with their kids and then they'll tell the story of how both of you fell in love and they'll add how much the both of you loved your children.

----

You were running late, coffee in hand and it happened so fast that you didn't even notice that he was there. You collided with someone your coffee spilling on the man's shirt and your eyes widened in horror.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You exclaimed as you rushed to get the tissues out of your bag to help him.

"Hey, it's fine" came his calm yet familiar voice. Sensing that he was looking at you, you averted your gaze to meet his eyes and you felt the world suddenly stop.

He has the most beautiful hazel eyes you've ever seen and his brown curly hair added charm to his chiseled face. He looked familiar you're sure of it, and without you knowing, he felt the same way too.

"Hi," he softly whispered stuck in a daze as he looked at you.

You let out an airy chuckle "I'm sorry, do I know you?" You asked.

So the cycle starts again.

[purpurkatart]

Hello! After having some time to get over my loss for the Pokemon TCG Illustration contest, I decided to write up a small blog entry about the process and include some WIP pictures. Feel free to look below if you want to read my ramblings on the process.

Idea Generarion-

So coming into this contest, I knew I wanted to make a mixed media piece. In terms of theming I chose something that not only reflected a “magical moment” for a Pokemon (in this case meeting a legendary Pokemon), but also a moment when playing the games myself. In fact this piece was inspired by my awe when I first encountered a box legendary in game, as before I thought my teacher was lying to me when he said you can catch the legendary on the box!

This is the concept sketch that started it all! At the time my main concern was getting ideas down and seeing how they looked. Thinking about things like how would the composition would look, how would the colours look. So on and so forth.

I didn’t want to focus too much on the sketch and wanted to start making the physical object, so out of some cheap paper I started making a set up testing out size, scale, composition. I didn’t want to get too attached to the original sketches only to realise I couldn’t make it in real life… I went though a few drafts trying to get things right, slowly adding in aspects such as background objects and higher quality drawings.

After completing the draft I bought the images back into procreate to experiment with colours. This is the point where I made the mistake of thinking I had plenty of colours to choose from, not realising I would be limited by what I could buy from various yarn shops. That or hope I could find the right colour online, but that was always a gamble. If I don’t stop talking about this now I’ll get sidetracked talking about how much I miss yarn shops…

Anyways, I cut out the individual pieces that I would make within the background and used them as a guide for crochet assets. For this part I wanted to use different stitches to create textures such as the ripple stitch, bobble stich and some cable stitches, I feel bad as I never took any work in progress photo so of them. Let’s pretend you’re looking at a photo of a half finished crochet abstract shape.

Finally onto the main event, the Pikachu (and Suicune). The decision to make Pikachu a plush was based on what I would have liked to make for the 2022 illustration contest (if I wasn’t geographically challenged!!) Despite being British I decided it would be fun to make anyways, so I could experiment. I never got around to that but decided it would be fun to try for this edition.

Making the pattern was HARD! As I wanted Pikachu to have a unique pose, I had to work out different methods to plush i’ve made in the past which have been somewhat relaxed in their posing. I ultimately ended up making each part individually, pinning it together and then making adjustments as needed. It didn’t start out great however I ended up with this weird Pikachu shaped thing that did the job. Throughout this process I would regularly photograph it in the background to try and catch any issues early on. For example if the ground needed to be a different shape.

Photographing the final price was interesting. I felt bad for my partner as I essentially turned my dining table into a mini photography studio! I spent several days waiting for different lighting opportunities and experimenting with different light. Marking down different camera angles to ensure I have all of my bases covered. I easily took over 100 photos to get the perfect shot! In the below photo you can see washi tape being used to rest out different positions for the sculptures.

And that leads me to the peice! Even though i’m sad I didn’t make the top 300, I am pleased with the work I did for this piece (and my flygon entry too!). I’m glad I decided to experiment with ts peice and look forward to refining my methods in the near future!

[yok00k]

coming down

pairing: non-idoloc! x idol!jk

genre: angst

“i always want you when i’m coming down”

sypnosis: although you sleep next to jungkook every single night, it feels like you’re million miles away from him.

wordcount: around 1,000

warning: in 1st pov, it’s a little sad (for me), open ended ending, one sided love, allusion of cheating, oc’s world revolves around jk (don’t be like her)(lowkey im her), toxic relationship, lack of communication

author’s note: this did not go as I initially planned help-_- i was gonna make light jealousy oc/jk drabble idk how I ended up with this. i hope yall sob w/ me or lmk ur thoughts

an absolute ideal.

his performance. the concept. the way he sang his new released songs flawlessly. how smooth his dancing movements were. how the stage composition and development were so sumptuous.

and most importantly, how romantic the live performance was, given the fact that there was an actress involved in the show.

calling Jungkook an amazing artist would be an understatement. He’s creative, unique, and original in his masterpieces. Everything he does, no matter what, is just mesmerizing and astounding. He’s indeed a true performer.

Jungkook dedicated several months to work on his solo album. The time and effort he had put to his work is just admirable. On most days, he stays up late, trying to come up with so many possible ideas and options he can add on his album.

and I was there by his side. I chose to be.

I was there, waiting for him to come home every single night, or usually midnight, in our noiseless living room, wrapped with a thick blanket and loneliness. He would arrive home, but as night by night goes, I was accompanied by nothing but solitude. it feels like it’s taking over me.

I was there, in bad days where Jungkook is focusing on the negatives and having doubts in himself. Days where his standards for himself weren’t being met. both of my shoulders were closely next to him if he needed something to lean into. Reminding him that it’s okay and he’s doing wonderful.

I was there, even in times when he didn't want or need me to be there. times where he just wanted to be by his own with no distraction. but here I am, continuously showing him my undying love and support for him.

I chose to stay there. on nights where he stopped saying “i love you” back before going to dreamland. I hugged him closer as I convinced myself to believe that he just didn’t feel like saying those three words at those moment because of all the stress he undergoes through day to day.

I gave all of myself, I’ve done my part as his other half. Just like how Jungkook produces his works, I poured all my love and time to him, leaving not a thing for myself. It sounds foolish, but that’s just how I love

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

we’re both lying on the massive bed, only inches apart from one another’s body yet it feels like he’s millions of miles away from me as I stare at his cold, broad back that’s facing me.

I’ve got to used to this upsetting scenario at this point but that doesn’t mean it hurt less.

The whole bedroom feels chilly. I’m freezing, solely due to the fact that his warm arms weren’t wrapped around me like they used to be. as i’m not hearing his snores, I know that he’s still awake

“Do you still love me?” I manage to ask out loud and clear, immediately regretting the words that came out of my mouth even though it’s simply an inquiry.

a question that’s been going around my head for quite some time now. a question that i’m afraid to know the answer to because his response might be the response my heart doesn’t wish to hear or else it will shatter into millions of pieces.

my hope for an answer rapidly decreased as seconds went by filled with silence. The absence of noise that surrounded me was deafening; abundantly mocked the emotions I was feeling at the moment, screaming at me that my feelings didn't matter.

It's alright.

I did nothing but wipe the single tear that uncontrollably rolled down my cheek.

it’s stupid. I should’ve just kept it to myself. maybe that would be less embarrassing. less problematic. less painful than I was feeling minutes ago.

I turned my back against his as I accepted my defeat. maybe I’m just tired. maybe drifting to sleep will make me feel okay although I know deep inside that I won’t take the pain away. this is not some type of feeling i’m unfamiliar with to begin with.

I shut my eyes, as I try to put myself to sleep. but in that process, i felt his body moving, turning around, and finally snakes his warm arms around me. a pair of arms, the same ones I longed for so many nights.

“____, why would you ask that?” he giggly asked, sounding like he just heard a silly question. as if i was just being clingy and wanted some piece of his attention.

‘because i don’t feel like you love me anymore’

the man waited for a response, waiting to see if I was just fooling around or that was really genuine. the noiselessness, just like all times, answers the question we both interrogate to each other.

the heavy feelings just got worse, if not heavier. even so when he talks more. “i won’t be laying next to you if i wasn’t.” as if that makes me feel better.

indeed, he’s physically here by my side yet distant. Jungkook is so far off that I’ve lost him. numbness was all I felt as I heard his words. I couldn’t be more content now that I have my answers.

his indirect answer to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question is enough for me to know where we stand.

I can’t help but to turn my body to face him, just to stare at his doe eyes that I easily get lost in due to the fact that they hold thousands of stars, if not a whole world in them.

regretfully, my eyes should’ve just maintained contact with doe-like eyelids. but rather, they drop their focus on the side of his neck, detecting a foreign lipstick shade that he might have forgotten to wipe off. a shade that will be tattooed in my brain and will forever hate.

Inhale. Exhale. I chose to shrug it off, bringing my attention back to his worn out face.

“I love you” truthfully and whole-heartedly confessed to him once more just like I always do. although this was a little bit different because I don’t expect him to say it back anymore.

and with that in mind, this was also the last night that I will to express my love for him.

[theta-official]

Theta thought Natalia has died, until a package to him addressed from her comes in the mail. In the package is a few Sumerian treats and trinkets, and a note that reads:

“Dear Theta, I hope you have been keeping up with your studies. I have been having the worst of times with the astrologist, how pitiful he locks me up in a smaller birdcage than the one Dottore keeps you and I in. Really, how stupid does the Akademiya make people to shame the concept of removing ethics from scientific practice? Why must they limit themselves? Had you or I refused to open our minds to the possibilities without ethics, we would have been killed on the spot. It’s pitiful too, that when faced with a scientist who experiments with pure devotion to the most accurate results, such as myself, I am shamed and outcasted to a psych ward to ‘rehabilitate’. But I chose to live this way, you understand.

Remember, Theta, keep your head low and do as you are told by Dottore. It’s for your own good in the future. Remain useful so that he sees no reason to dispose of you.

I hope you enjoy these gifts for your hard work and dedication to science.

Love, @thetruescholar .

~P.S: Etoiles doesn’t read my letters, it’s unlikely he will read the responses. Well, until he finds out I’ve been sending and hopefully receiving them, I suppose.”

Theta stared at the letter. He had been rather sad for the past couple weeks, thinking she was really dead. However, it could be a forgery. So he took the letter [and the candies and trinkets so they wouldn’t get stolen] and ran to where Natalia’s old work was so he could compare handwriting and signatures.

[xanderjkz]

Knox Overstreet- Fixing the problem of a kind boy

I like fucking love the concept of Knox's character and the message he portrays but holy shit they really fucked up when it came to the execution. Both in the movie AND book (ESPECIALLY there). This fandom takes its time to reconstruct his character to be likeable. But how would this actually play out in a better-constructed storyline for this dude with girl problems?

Well, that's the answer I would like to answer today

Knox in the official dead poets media

Like every poet in the movie Spotlight, Knox comes from a family that's enforcing the path of a lawyer. His father is one, which is how his storyline even starts. He is invited to the Danbury's because his dad helped the only responsible and well-mannered dude in the house. And in that same scene, they literally tell us that people expect him to be a lawyer. So there's this kind of pressure.

But not really because we never get to see that side of Knox in the movies where he clearly states that he doesn't like the path people chose for him. All he has is girls problems.

Which is sad considering that he could be so much more

But then we'd have to extend the movie by about 1 hour and that would make it unenjoyable because this movie is perfect because of the pacing they chose. It's fast and yet slow and kinda counts down to Neil's suicide in a way that gets stuck. Because he is one of the main characters and most scenes should be with him. Not with Knox considering if his life expectancy is okay.

So is there any extra scenes in the book?

...yeah no

"But how do we solve this issue with knox's awful storyline?"

Rewrite the book and hope for the best.

Since I'm an author myself I know that writing often gets complicated when your creative streak is gone but since I'm an author I'd solve it this way:

Keep the Chris storyline

Let that boy be problematic, let him make mistakes but not once that deeply traumatises someone like SEXUALLY ASSULTING someone. Knox is the message bringer of the bad side of carpe Diem. Sometimes seizing the day will make things worse because you didn't think it through. That's a great message to bring across, I mean how many 16-year-olds make mistakes that we thought were okay? A lot, and he is the one who made the mistake in the story.

"So how would you change his mistake?"

The storyline reinvented

He meets Chris like usual

Look he didn't fuck up here in the slightest. I too would be stuttering if I met a beautiful girl. And him meeting her through the Danbury clearly shows the problem he has to date Chris. It's classic anyway

Cut the bike scene and use his sister instead

From what I gathered his sister goes to the same school as Chris (can be mistaken but for this story she does! ) so he uses her to kinda pry into Chris's life and find things out. It is problematic if he literally implies stalking her but c'mon, at least someone in the Overstreet family has common sense and only observes in the distance...right? Besides who doesn't use their siblings for their advantages? Plus it brings depth to that mean. Seeing how he treats his sister could indicate his behaviour with people extremely close to him.

Let him attempt the party but be extremely obnoxious

That's what he's best at

His nickname is literally knoxious. But what the hell do I mean by being obnoxious? Let that boy not leave Chris's side. Why? Because that sets up his mistake. Being attached to someone's hip can be extremely uncomfortable and with Chet's provoke able (?) ass this can go wrong fast. (Also we can't forget that Chris is the one being played around like an object in this and this should be his biggest mistake as we do not treat anyone like that, especially women!) But what would be the breaking point for CHRIS and Chet and the thing where he decides that "carpe diem" is good to use (even tho it's not)?

HE DANCES WITH CHRIS

Okay, instead of him being an ass and kissing Chris, he's an ass and dances with her. He was under the influence when he made both decisions which isn't an excuse but something that pushed him towards it. Because Knox in his most sober self wouldn't even talk properly to her.

So, some lame-ass song from the 50s is playing and he grabs her hand. Maybe she danced with someone else and he stole her. Considering that the tension between Chris and Knox is already uncomfortable, this would bring it to the maximum. Chris (as the beautiful woman she is) would try to use this moment to finally talk about his behavior so he lets her go. And the moment he finally talks chet comes in.

This small synopsis is weak but let's be honest, no one would read a whole ass script abt this.

Anyway

Chet comes in, the situation becomes way out of control and the only person getting extremely hurt is Chris. As she was toyed around by Knox and Chet. So she leaves the party prematurely (as she should, take care of yourselves) and Knox returns to Welton with the same bloody nose as in the movie

He goes directly to her house

Him doing so is a direct response to his failure. Between the party and them talking he needs to reflect on his failures and feel genuine guilt. It sucks that he can only do so once he gets punched but at least he has the mind to realise that.

But Chris isn't that easy to talk to. Obviously, this whole thing made her feel weird and sad so she avoided both of them. When he goes up to her house and gets rejected? He talks with Keating.

Mentor Keating

Not only would this solidify his last scene in the movie more but it also gives them a connection more than Keating humiliating him. Okay, but can we fit this into the movie? Not the conversation but he could easily fit it into the scene where he returns to Welton after talking to her.

"What would Keating tell him?"

The same thing he told Neil. Honesty.

Fate decides itself in the decisions you make and Knox knows that lies won't wrap her around his fingers. So maybe honesty carries them to a state where they can be friends.

So his masterplan gets made and it's the most trope-st shit you can think of.

Throwing a rock in the night at her sweet sweet window

Why did I think of this? Well, do you like the scenery of how he originally apologised and made everybody look at her?

At least it's at night so fewer people look and it would show us the skills he earned from sneaking off bc of the poet's meetings. Thus showing the audience more connection to the group. Plus at night people are mostly at their most vulnerable time and it would get Chris to talk.

But what would they talk about?

Considering that he finally saw the wrong parts of his obsession with her, he would give her the space to express her discomfort to its fullest after he of course apologises. But I think Chris wouldn't even express herself to the fullest because she has sympathy for him. She understands that loving someone can make you sick and twisted when you're a teenager but she is still her flesh and mind who clearly didn't want it to cause her relationship to break.

She might not express the worst anger that comes with something like this but she still expressed her sorrow in this mess. And Knox listens and sees the wrong in his actions. He doesn't need to justify himself because no justification could make this play in his favour. And when all is said and done, she forgives him for being so damn obnoxious.

But she doesn't like him in the way Knox wishes her to feel. And knox needs to learn to accept it. Like we all do

The story progresses without knox getting what he wants

Through this whole story he went through, we as viewers get the message that even if you apologise, it's up to the victim of your actions to give you what you want. And throughout the film, I never even got the notion that Chris has an interest in Knox. Hell, they don't even talk that much to build a conclusion on their goddamn relationship before he kissed her. He sets the message of a "Carpe Diem" gone wrong. After that, he is a reminder of us humans and our way of going through those problems you cause.

There are probably better ways of doing his arc, heck give him a different one. I mean he has potential. Maybe he's better off once the group splits or maybe he isn't.

But the way he is in the movie is a horrible portrayal of romance. I get it, the script is from the 80s but c'mon you're allowed to admit that it's bad.

Well, there's nothing we can really do, the movie in itself is an art and should be viewed as it. It fits into the zeitgeist of past generations and our present ones. I love the movie but if I had to change one storyline it would always be Knox oversteet's

Btw can be talk about how stupid his fucking name is? Who names their child Knox? With the last name OVERSTREET

[autumnslance]

FFXIV Write 2024: 25 Perpetuity

(Spoilers for the end of Endwalker's Myths of the Realm)

Aeryn stood in Omphalos and watched the engine work. Its motions were hypnotic as it circled around itself, drawing in hopes and prayers, and dispersing that energy back into the world to aid humanity. A device of akasha and aether, elegant and lovely.

A familiar step sounded on the stone behind her, accompanied by the equally familiar pitter-patter of smaller feet, making her smile and hold out a hand to let the tiny opo-opo leap up and scramble up her arm to give her a friendly nuzzle.

“No treats, no matter how the little fellow begs,” Deryk said lightly. “He’s coming off a bout of upset stomach.”

“Poor baby,” Aeryn cooed, leaning her head against the creature, who chirred against her neck.

The wanderer stopped next to her, also looking up at the instrument of blessing. The collaborative work of ages, she was never sure he was aware of the slight smile and melancholic light in his eyes when he gazed upon it.

“So,” he said. “We meet here yet again. And again I ask: come to a conclusion yet?”

“No,” Aeryn replied, as shaking her head would dislodge the opo-opo, who was now playing with her hair. “When you first brought us here, and revealed the Twelve and their heavens, I’d hoped to find some answer. But it seemed more of the same. Divinity is just a construct of man, formed in desperation and empowered by prayer.”

Deryk nodded. “I can say there is a world of difference between what I was, and who I am now.”

“That’s a matter of power scale, which can be overcome.”

“In part, certainly,” he agreed. “But it’s more than that.” He looked aside, his gaze falling on the gate to the Heaven of Wind. “Sometimes the memories seem more like dreams, and too much for my fragile mortal mind. The time is incomprehensible—and that’s even before taking into account the man whose soul inspired Oschon’s existence.” He turned to Aeryn again. “Am I still not real, merely a construct?”

“Of course you’re real. And so was Oschon. Just born of humanity, like anyone else.”

“Hydaelyn created the Twelve,” he reminded her.

“From the energies of Her comrades. To perform roles and duties for which mankind worshiped them for, and in so doing, altered irrevocably.” She sighed. “And my feelings on Hydaelyn—on Venat—are likewise still complicated.”

“I understand that,” Deryk agreed. “I did not feel so before, but now? It’s a strange thing indeed. I’m not the man who aided in Hydaelyn’s creation; he is long dead, his aether given to form Hers, a fragment of his remnant soul used to create that which men called Oschon. Me, with an omnipresent view and ability to stride across this world we so loved as either the concept of wind, or in this form.” He gestured to his body. “I sometimes wonder if we took on avatars because some part of us yet remembered and yearned to be mortal again.”

“I’m certain I met Nymeia and Althyk’s original selves in Elpis,” Aeryn said, scratching under the opo-opo’s chin. “I helped with creations they were evaluating, and described the rite of flowers for the departed when some creatures were lost in an accident with others. There was familiarity in their divine personas, but they didn’t remember. Not really.”

“Yet they never lost sight of who they were to one another,” Deryk said, that sad smile on his face again. “They never struggled with it, unlike Menphina and myself.”

Aeryn raised a questioning brow.

“Of course I loved her—who didn’t?” he laughed. “In our first life, she was a brilliant young woman, and it was no wonder her divine self became who she was, and set to the tasks Hydaelyn chose. And we cared for one another, as we Twelve were family in our way. But was any romance our own, or determined by the prayers of man?” he shrugged. “Divinity is malleable.”

“That’s one of the things I struggle with,” Aeryn said. “Should it be, or shouldn’t gods be set, in order to form and order the world, and guide their creations and humanity? Shouldn’t they be...something beyond man? Not just in power, but in origin as well?”

“The more we discuss this, what it feels like you most resent is the loss of unknowing,” Deryk replied. “That you feel faith must include the question of origin.”

Aeryn mulled that over for a moment. “That would be part of taking it on faith, wouldn’t it? Of deciding to give trust based on a hope there’s something more to guide the way.” She looked up at the instrument of blessing again. “But I know so much of the origins of our world, of the divinities, and how and why they came to be. I know what can be manifested with enough aether, but warped by those requests.” The opo-opo chirred as her shoulders slumped.

“And you know too well what has been lost—in most cases, by your own hand.”

She winced at that. “On request.”

“Who else could be trusted? Not just in power, but on...faith.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“It goes both ways, you know,” he said mildly. “Even if I know your origins—born of man, with dragon’s blood running in your veins, raised outside this land where we held the most sway, but rising in it to become the one who could learn the truth, see it clearly, and grant us our greatest desire.” He gestured to the engine swirling above them. “And now we have laid down our burdens, while ensuring our duty is secured forevermore. Because we believed in you—as She did.”

Aeryn frowned. “That’s not the same as faith in divinity.”

“Isn’t it?”

[pastorfutureletthembe]

"I save the world. You save my sister."

The plot, every misson they get done, gives us a set of rules to understand the universe the characters live in, what is possible or allowed to do while diving. Contrary to the live action which offer an actual exposition (Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's first meeting, the explanation and the mechanics of their powers), the donghua shows us all of that through subtil teaching: an action calls for a reaction.

The rules in season 1 are crafted according to the "light side" of this story (Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang and Qiao Ling), therefore they are morally good. They exist to protect, respect, help people. The headline would be "Don't change anything."

Season 2 of the Donghua offers a new perspective; the dark side. There is another way after all, a way to change past and future, to resist fate. You have the power, so why woudln't you benefit from it, right?

The Live Action wasn't the best example of an adaptation well done, that's true. The rules are familiar to us and Lu Guang is way more stuck in his ways than he is in the donghua. However, his master's moral, that we could dubbed as "History as it should be", is not right nor wrong. It demands for the past to remains as it is because the present has beauty no matter the state of things. Although it ultimately is true, we do notice the flaws in this belief through the missions our shiguang team accept: time is unfair, people are sad and broken, they wasted precious time of their lives for nothing, they've been abused... BUT. They can still be better, do better, life isn't the sum of past mistakes, and those who are still standing are masters of their own fate. Future can still change because we make choices in Present too.

You can say what you want of the way the Live Action has been made, but it still is relevant in its core to the original story and characters. They understand the real point of this universe, what conclusion it wants to bring us to. Once again, it gives us new rules. One of them is familiar though: ineluctability.

CXS's character study and spoilers for LCLA 1x23 bellow:

As He Xu talks about his long lost sister, the words shape a new meaning. These words, they might as well be donghua!Lu Guang's. Billions of people could disappear as long as it means Cheng Xiaoshi is alive, because he is LG's everything, his person, the best human being in the whole world. The whole scene is a clear argument against fate/death. With such powers, why should we accept the unfair and arbitrary will of time? Why can't we chose to be happy and make our lives better?

The fact that the parallel isn't made FOR the characters/LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi but for US, the audience, is even more heartbreaking. Because we know, and we deny, and we excuse, and we wish for the end to be a happy ending. But you all know in the depth of your heart the most important rule, no matter which character's morals applies:

"Death is a node that cannot be changed."

This being said, people often tell me how Cheng Xiaoshi would do the exact same thing than Lu Guang if he was in his situation for more than a day; he would eventually gives in and go back to save him.

I actually don't believe that myself. I think Cheng Xiaoshi would never.

Not only because Lu Guang taught him not to, but because Cheng Xiaoshi is, no matter how lonely, awkward and childish he can be, a deeply empathetic person. He loves people. And if saving someone he loves mean killing everyone else, he would not do it.

Lu Guang, with all his moral and strict guideline, fell under a genuine boy's spell and decided "fuck it, you all don't deserve him, he's better than all of you." To fuel this concept of the character, LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi has a clear idea of what a "Time Agent" is supposed to be: a superhero. He is a good person, that's why he wants to change death nodes. He wants to save them and keep them happy. Spider-man wouldn't sacrifice the world to save Gwen Stacy, okay? He Xu spits "you don't know actual regret" to his face, and maybe he's right, but then Cheng Xiaoshi argues that he knows his role and what it is expected of him.

That's your clue right there: he wants to do the right thing by making the best of awful circonstances.

Cheng Xiaoshi untrusts Lu Guang with the most important person in his life. He knows he cannot do eveything by himself. Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi are a team, they are shiguang, and fate made them this way. He knows his role in all this, there is something only he can do. Now, Cheng Xiaoshi believes in the rightness of Lu Guang's master rules, but he cannot agree with his whole being. He does believe in one thing though.

This is not about maintaining the Past as it should be, but about the trolley dilemma: one person against MANY children's lives. Cheng Xiaoshi want to save as many people as he can. People could argue that CXS asking LG to save his sister means he wouldn't be able to make the right choice when facing this same dilemma if it involved Qiao Ling. I would strongly disagree. Of course, he hesitates each time He Xu mentions her. However, at the end of the day, he would rather sacrifice himself than anyone else, moreover if it means his sacrifice would save someone.

I would just end this meta with the possibility, no matter how small, that He Xu is right. No one knows if this universe would be destroyed once a node is changed. The consequences of that are actually unknown, and isn't there hope in this uncertainty? Isn't this small, near impossible possibility worth it in the end? But no matter the results, it's all about accountability. Perhaps the real truth about the universe's balance is this: these powers they have are both a responsability/duty to people and a chance/right to change or save Past and Future. As long as you understand your choice and the implied consequences, you're the real master of Fate.

[hotfuss]

rolling stone france september 2021

edit: translation now available thanks to the wonderful @likemonstersinlove!

- INTERVIEW -

THE KILLERS

America afterwards

DEEP DIVE INTO THE KILLERS’ AMERICA

Pressure machine depicts the daily life of a small american town in a springsteenian style deftly taken on by their singer, Brandon Flowers. The band tell of their reunion with guitarist Dave Keuning and consider their return to the scene with prudence.

At the onset of the pandemic, when it became obvious that the Killers 2020 tour would not happen, Brandon Flowers started thinking back to his childhood spent in the small isolated town of Nephi, Utah. “There was a nostalgia in the air and a little bit of sadness too, " says the singer, "all those stories resurfaced as I was thinking back to the place where I was in the 90s.”

These “stories” make up the fertile ground for the Killers’ new opus, Pressure Machine, released August 13th, a concept album about life in Nephi told from the point of view of several of the town’s inhabitants, that broaches varied topics: [from] prescription drug abuse to poverty, by way of criminality, drugs, homophobia and depression. Despite the dark tone of the record, there are strokes of hope and joy sprinkled along the album.

“When I was writing these songs, I was thinking among other things of Sherwood Anderson’s Winesburg, Ohio, or of John Steinbeck’s The Pastures of heaven, says Flowers, where multiple short stories all take place in the same setting. For some reason, I dared to try it myself. Once I realised they were going to take place here and they would be true stories, everything became obvious to us.”

Brandon Flowers wrote the lyrics before the music was composed, scattering pictures of Nephi around his [computer] keyboard to get inspiration. When they were ready, the band gathered in their studio in Cotati, California, with producers Jonathan Rado and Shawn Everett, 

|| “BRANDON FLOWERS WROTE THE LYRICS BEFORE THE MUSIC WAS COMPOSED, SCATTERING PICTURES OF NEPHI AROUND HIS KEYBOARD TO GET INSPIRATION.”||

the same team who worked on Imploding the Mirage the year prior. It was early 2020, at the beginning of the pandemic. “It was hard, says Flowers, Shawn has a penchant for hypochondria. He would wear glasses, a protective visor, and three masks in the studio. It was crazy. The bassist Marl [Stoermer] also had a hard time, and he could not get into the studio. But we would wear masks as well and get tested regularly. We were quite diligent.”

The album opens with “West Hills”, which tells the story of a desperate Nephi townie who gets arrested for “oxy” possession. “They got me for possession of them hillbilly heroin pills enough to kill the horses that run free in the west hills”, sings Flowers. The record turns even darker with “Terrible Thing”, which focuses on a gay teenager contemplating suicide. “There were kids I grew up with and only discovered years later that they were gay, recalls Flowers, it must have been so hard on them. I think the world is progressing in a more positive and more inclusive direction, but it was still the 90s and people would keep such things to themselves.”

Most of the songs are pulled from Flowers’ own memories in Nephi or things he read these past few years, but in “Desperate Things”, he chose to write the fictional story of a cop falling in love with a victim of domestic violence and ends up murdering her husband. It’s a story that would have easily found its place in Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska, and that is unlike any other song from the Killers’ repertoire.

“I chose a story that caused a scandal in town when I lived there, and I took a few liberties in the third verse to turn it into a murderous ballad, explains Flowers. In a typical pop or rock song, there are only two verses. It’s only when you start looking into Springsteen and [John] Prine, for example, that you find a third or fourth verse. But it only serves to flesh out a story.”

“In Another Life” and “In The Car Outside” linger over disappointed dreams and bitter regrets of middle age, but the album ends on a true hope with “The Getting By”. “But maybe it's the stuff it takes to get up in the morning and put another day in, son that holds you 'til the getting's good…”

The album includes appearances from Joe Pug, Sara Watkins and Phoebe Bridgers, and marks the return of the Killers guitarist Dave Keuning. He did not take part in Imploding the Mirage or the last tours because of personal problems and the exhaustion from the long years spent on the roads. He was not involved in the entire creative process, but “In The Car Outside” and “A Pressure Machine” both start off on his guitar lines, and he plays on other songs from the album. “It was cool that he came back, declares drummer Ronnie Vannucci Jr. You always realise what someone brings to the table the moment he comes into or out fo a room. It was nice to have his input again in the studio. We’ve been playing together for about 20 years. It felt good.”

They had almost finished recording when they decided to send an NPR employee to Nephi to record interviews with the inhabitants. He came back with incredibly personal stories, so lively that the band decided to open each song on the album with excerpts from those recordings. “We were right in the mastering phase, but to us, it was the last ingredient we needed to complete the project," says Vannucci. It gave us a better grounding in reality than our interpretations through songs and music… They were people with their accents and their stories. It’s what allowed us to put the project together and strengthen it.”

The band gave a virtual concert at the end of June for the Splendour in the Grass festival in Australia, with Keuning and Stoermer back on stage with the band for the first time in years, but they aren’t planning to launch an official tour before next March when they go to New Zealand. They will perform in North America in August 2022. But first, they performed on August 21st at the We Love NYC concert in Central Park, along with Bruce Springsteen, Paul Simon, LL Cool J, Elvis Costello and many others.

They will also be playing the Firefly Festival in Delaware on September 24th, and the Sandjam Music Festival in Florida at the beginning of October. For now, according to the band, Keuning is planning to join them on the road, but Stoermer will stay home. Tour bassist Jake Blanton will take his place again.

“We will play a trial concert in Terminal 5 [in New York] before the Central Park concert, " declares Flowers. We’ve had incredible concerts at Terminal 5. I cannot stop thinking about the song we’re gonna open the set with. I hope I’ll keep my cool. Playing live is a part of our identity and it’s something that we missed, this connection to the people of this community.”

Many bands are currently on the road, including Dave Matthews Band, Phish, and Green Day, but the Killers are being very careful by accepting no major concert as headline act before 2022. “We don’t want to be a band that spreads Covid or the K variant, " explains Vannucci. There are a lot of unknowns related to touring and questions of responsibility. And just out of respect for the people and so that everyone stays healthy, we wanted to remain prudent in that regard and not jump the gun too fast.”

Even if they will have two full albums filled with songs they have never played live when they get back on the road, they’re already considering another record. The band is at the very early stages of conception. “We had meetings for a week in San Diego notlong ago, at  Dave’s, says Flowers. We were together the four of us, it was the first time we were doing that in years. But we must rehearse in January for the tour. I don’t know if we’ll find the time [to finish another album], but we will certainly meet again before Christmas.”

In the meantime, Flowers is eager to share Pressure Machine with the world. And working on the album finally gave him the opportunity to see Nephi in a very different light. “When I was a teenager, I wanted to leave. It’s only way later that I developed a better understanding and another view of this town’s beauty. I was so free there. People didn’t even need to lock their doors. I had a different upbringing there. I can appreciate that now.”

captions:

page 4

GLITTER

On stage, Brandon likes to call to mind his hometown of Las Vegas, Sin City. And has great fun with it. Here at the Bonaroo festival in 2018.

page 6

MEMORY

The Killers spent the lockdown recording their new concept album.

[tikitsune]

"Just a little longer, yeah?" Love and Deepspace angst.

“You’re asking me to choose?” Miss (Love and Deepspace Protag, because why not) asked.

They were held over a deep and wide hole so deep that they could not see the bottom. Across from her, each of the boys had their own glass box. Each of them had their own platform on the scale that held them up. Miss studied the scale mechanism. Each box, saved for her own, was surrounded by glass and she was weaponless. Something was keeping her from drawing her weapons from the Aether. All of them were attached to arms that connected in the middle. Above her was a circle in which they could probably rise to. 

There was no other way, she concluded. One of us would have to go. She bit her bottom lip. “Fine. I’ll choose.” 

Each head shot up to her, all of them looking at her with various degrees of shock or desperation. She looked back at each of them with a sad smile, making eye contact with each of them. She closed her eyes and exhaled as her face morphed into a more serious expression.

“I choose myself.” Miss declared loudly. “I choose myself. Let them live.” 

She got no confirmation that she was heard except for the whirling of something powering up. “Immortality is a concept of mind. Each of you are only immortal until you meet your match.” 

She looked at Xavier. “I’m sorry to ask you to look for me one more time. I will wait for you to find me again.” 

Xavier seemingly had access to his Aether inventory because he drew his truncheon and started banging and slamming it against the glass walls that enclosed him. It also seemed as though the boxes were soundproof as Miss heard neither hide nor hare of his attempt to break his cell. Tears streamed down his face as he seemed to yell out, for what, Miss couldn’t stand his sorrow long enough to find out. 

She turned to Zayne. “I’ll be the one saving you this time. I’ll save you the next time too, alright?”

Zayne seemed to be at a loss for words. Nothing, or at least she assumed nothing, was coming out of his mouth that kept opening and closing, as if searching for words to say before closing his mouth and lowering himself to the floor. He took off his glasses and wiped his cheeks before smiling and nodding, although the smile didn’t last long. 

Rafayel was already crying when she turned her gaze to him. “Wait for me, okay? You’ll see me again, I promise.” 

He had his hands pressed up against the glass, mouthing at her to not. Not do this to him, she supposed. She shook her head at him. He fell to his knees and buried his head in his hands. The air around him seemed to swirl as his tears started attacking the glass case he was trapped in but to no avail. The containers were just too strong, not something you could break with an Evol or any other power. 

 It was one way or another, her or one of them and she chose herself. For a singular moment, she thought that this decision of hers was selfish but she refused to choose between them. All were precious to her and she swore to herself that she would protect them just as they had her in the many battles they had together. 

The whirling had gotten louder and she knew, knew that her time would come to an end. So she flourishly bowed and smiled. “Until we meet again, my loves. Hopefully you can all get along the next time we meet, okay?” She looked at them, then closed her eyes, brightening her smile. “Just a little longer, yeah?” 

The whirling reached its climax and a beam of hot light quickly shot down onto her, completely erasing her from this mortal plain. So fast that she only felt the incoming heat for a millisecond and then she was gone. 

Xavier fell to his knees, letting his truncheon dissipate as he watched the love of his life perish before him once more, this time her body with it. Zayne only dipped his head down in respect, his tears falling to the floor of his cell. Rafayel had finally stopped using his Evol and stared at the place Miss had been. They made no move as their containers raised to the circle in the ceiling, simply mourning the loss of the most precious person in their lives.

Notes:My first time writing angst. What do you think?

Also I fucking love this game 10/10 would recommend.

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 7

very notable that this was within the context of being about "love" specifically. (at least) one-sided trevek canon? (i'm not even a huge trevek shipper i just think this whole plotline is funny)

okay, so Yul's foot injury IS real. or at least, he's using it as an excuse to complain. still, the fact that it was brought up again an episode later makes me think that it's going to have SOME relevance to the plot.

any time that Yul has to parrot something in Emily's "you go girlfriend ;D" manner of speaking i cackle. he didn't choose the home decor saying any time is wine time lifestyle, the home decor saying any time is wine time lifestyle chose him.

Grett i am... genuinely confused. how can you possibly think that Yul is actually in love with you? did you really receive THAT little love in your home life? you have no ability to distinguish catty and fake praise for your accomplishments from real ones because your family gave you THAT little recognition? man. now i made myself sad :( ily Grett

okay, confirming that 1) it was Tom's trap, 2) they are willing to eat squirrels, 3) Tom is serving as the provider for the Cyan tribe. all things to take into account for any upcoming Cyan eliminations.

why

and how does said boyfriend feel about you kissing another man on television, Tom? this is a stupid lie.

again, why? it's probably already apparent from my earlier comments, but i changed my mind; i'm fully with Jake in this argument now. sure, Jake is really insecure and overly emotional, but what the HELL is Tom doing? making up a boyfriend is a really shitty thing to do, whether Tom had a legit reason for not calling Jake these past two years or if he didn't contact Jake due to his own mixed feelings/indifference. in either case, he should have told Jake the truth. at least when Jake was acting immature in S1, he was 24. Tom is a nearly 30 year old man. ACT LIKE IT.

Fiore slay

this is a really interesting response due to how vague it is, including in the vocal performance. was he taken off guard by his boss being nice to him? does he believe that she's telling the truth? does he feel bad for Trevor, or will he come to believe that he IS way better than Trevor? i'm glad that they're continuing on with the concept of the hosts having a plotline, because imo that was one of the highlights of S2, but they aren't doing it in a way that eats up as much of the screentime as it did in S2.

if Will was out of the picture i would be shipping these two so hard. who am I kidding, i kind of still am anyways.

Ally's other gf is here :,) glad that they got to reconnect (and neither of them were eliminated for it)

Fiore slay

the confirmation that Aiden thinks that the idea of him having any attraction to Tom is laughable and disgusting is HILARIOUS to me. bro really said, "why the hell would i be into YOU when i have JAMES lmao" straight to Tom's face. tbf, James and Tom are like... opposites in terms of personality and appearance (beyond being generally handsome and athletic young men).

"silly me, i keep forgetting that not everyone met their super cool and attractive boyfriend on reality TV. my bad!" (/pos)

(i tried to type "hubby" instead of boyfriend but i spared you all. it was too cringe even as the one subjecting others to the cringe.)

okay this was very fitting for her. iconic.

honestly, Alec and Riya's villainous alliance/friendship is really fun. leave it to Alec to always find himself in the least likely but most entertaining duos. Riya really benefits from being paired with a legitimate strategist, and someone who won't just let her totally get away with stuff.

we had to get in one last Fiore taking unnecessary damage for the road :,(

feeling like Jaiden is going to be winning the starting couples' survival roulette. and Wishley, to the extent they count.

now i'm no physicist, but how did this work? shouldn't the ball be a fast and heavy enough object at this point that it would jump over the log, not ricochet off of it? i suppose if the ball is made of something more like wicker than yarn, it could be a bit more likely to do that. but then why is it going to the side? it hit the log straight on!

... are you not allowed to help him anymore? what?

ellie is going full villain mode fr. if her and gabby's relationship gets messed up, that would definitely be karma. but, i suppose she survives this episode...

this is funny because nobody strikes me as the pizza and soda loving type. Alec, Grett, Yul, and Riya all seem like people who would want to eat something that's both fancier and healthier.

communication W (for both of them)

Fiore is such a best girl that she's not even a salty juror. she's not mad at them for so long that she can't use her final moments to throw a wrench in the works for everyone else. the grind never sleeps, clowns <3

and she even conquered her greatest nemesis, the bus, this time. fly high, queen. i'll miss you.

well, as a Fiore stan, this episode was a bit sad for me. but, i do totally understand why Magenta would both vote for Fiore and lose the challenge. (damn you, Ellie...) Fiore already did super well in both S1 and the original Adventure Camp, so i understand why they wouldn't have her go super far again in this season, especially when everyone knows she's such a threat.

i just hope that we can still get a little more closure for her and Alec than we got already in this season. all it has to be is, like, him being sad at her elimination for reasons other than pure strategy and maybe a nice conversation at the finale. it doesn't have to be Alec finally adopting her... even if i did want that to happen... i'd just prefer to know that they leave things on good terms.

anyways, another really solid episode! i look forward to the next one. thanks for reading!