#making fun of autism moms that say that when their kid has a meltdown or is “embarrassing” in public or smth

[domesticated-whores]

a really did it this time, loves :( i took a figurative phrase literally and embarrassed myself :( autism won today :(

[necr0lysis]

i like seeing posts in the autism tag that talk about being disabled. yeah that post about happy stimming is fun but look here's some information that might make someone realize they're disabled! because for me, like two years ago it wasn't "i'm struggling to do this because i'm disabled and i need some help with it" it was "oh yeah that's just another one of the things that i can't do for some reason. it'll probably screw me over one day but i can't do anything about it"

so here i give you a long (long does not mean extensive, there are a lot of other things i do not mention in here like my semiverbalism and dysphagia, these things also contribute to my support needs as well as the things listed below) rundown of what i struggled with in terms of taking care of myself. i would say in my childhood and early teens i was low support needs but still a child who wasn't getting help from adults and now i would say i'm medium support needs as an adult as moving out and coming out of a huge dissociative period + being in burnout for so many years caused regression. i definitely was more capable of living on my own in middle school than i am now.

TW: for talk about abuse, neglect, body fluids, disordered eating habits, mention of drugs, etc

how i struggle to care for myself

as a kid (ages 5-12) *being half way cared for by my mentally ill mother

toileting: delays in learning how to use a toilet and knowing when i have to go. purposely urinated in clothes when i did not want to stop what i was doing

brushing/washing hair: my mom would chase me around the house to get my to brush my hair. i absolutely hate the feeling of it and it would cause meltdowns often and my mom would end up hitting me with the brush asking why i was being so difficult. i was difficult because it hurts! we decided to cut my hair short "like ellen" as i said when i was a kid because it was turning into a huge mat every week that my mom had to work at with a huge comb and a bunch of conditioner. i am a cis woman and very shortly i had to move down to NC where nobody knew if i was a lesbian or a trans guy but god do they hate both of those types of people down there!!! but i couldn't take care of my hair so it stayed short until i was 18 and caused so many issues for me.

eating: meltdowns when i had to eat "real food" aka stuff that's not my safe food. delays in learning how to use utensils and got very angry when they said i couldn't eat with my hands

brushing teeth: very similar to hair brushing. i did not enjoy the feeling of brushing my teeth so my mom would tell me to do it and i just wouldn't. it didn't matter to me.

emotional/mental health: did not ever understand or talk about my emotions. would go outside and run down a hill with shorts on then halfway down i would let my legs give out so i would fall the rest of the way down and scrape up my hands and knees. did not know why i did that when i was younger now i know it was self injury stims because of emotions

appropriateness/responsibility: frequently got overstimulated by my clothes and walked around both the house and the neighborhood naked. i remember my neighbors calling the cops one time

teen years (ages 13-18): *being abused by alcoholic stepmother

toileting: was bothered by the sound of the toilet flushing and also it wasn't always safe to leave my room so i would have to pee in cups often :/ as i got older i started to feel ashamed of it but couldn't really do much about it

brushing/washing hair: my short hair was washed maybe once a month in middle school and once a week in high school. still never brushed. my hair has been thinning since age 14 and i honestly don't know if it's stress or malnutrition or something else but yeah my whole life i've felt like a very ugly Thing.

eating: from age 11 to 15 i lived in NC with my father and step mother. my father did nothing while my stepmother was very open from the beginning that the reason they did not feed me was because i was "acting r*tarded" and "maybe i would get some food if i started acting more like a human being". this was all kinds of fucked up and i realize that now but at this point in my life i hated myself so much i was like "yeah yknow what ur probably right. i don't deserve food"

brushing teeth: still could not brush my teeth (maybe did like once every two months) but wash feeling very ashamed and grossed out by myself. i learned that i had gotten so used to the feeling of texture on my teeth that it feels very weird and slippy and slimy if i brush my teeth to be smooth. this realization made me feel non human. like just so grossed out by myself but can't change it no matter what i try

emotional/mental health: still hurting myself during meltdowns and when frustrated. still did not really understand my emotions. i was given a depression diagnosis and an anxiety diagnosis so in my mind those were my only options when someone said "how are you" cus they tend to get annoyed if you always say i don't know.

appropriateness/responsibility: people in school would always tell me i'm talking about things i shouldn't say in public. it never made sense to me. i was very confident in my ability to move out and live on my own despite still not mastering skills that most people have down by age 8. silly me, i have learned a lot about what i can't do since trying to move out

recently (ages 19-20): *being taken care of by my amazing bf (i'm at his house about 20 days a month. used to be i spend half the week there then half the week here but i've been struggling so it's usually two weeks in a row then a few days home then back to his house for a week, etc)

toileting: i use the toilet every time but still sometimes struggle with telling when i need to go and will often not be able to tell until it is almost too late

brushing/washing hair: on days i'm home alone i don't do any hair stuff. it's painful and gives me anxiety and i don't wanna have to think about my biggest insecurity so when i am at my bfs house he body doubles in the shower with me so i am able to wash my hair about once or twice a week. brushing is still extremely painful so i usually just do after using my fancy conditioner and detangling spray.

eating: eating is difficult because of my trauma. i feel a sense of anti-hunger even if my body is screaming out in pain for food i can't register food as safe or something that i wouldn't want to engage in unless i am high. i do technically have a dependence as i can't stop or else i will be throwing up so much that i'd have to go to urgent care. but weed has helped my food aversion, my meltdowns and emotional reactivity. obviously it's making my adhd worse but i'm able to eat and have less meltdowns woo

brushing teeth: i now feel the opposite as i did when i was a teenager and i like smooth teeth HOWEVER my executive functioning is still bad enough that it doesn't ever get done unless my boyfriend tells me i should do it or i see him doing it and i am able to join it

emotional/mental health: i have meltdowns maybe 3 times a month. i bite and or hit myself probably every few days. my emotions are confusing and loud and i cannot contain frustration i NEED to feel pain or else i will start breaking things and yelling.

appropriateness/responsibility: i do not know how to drive. my caseworkers want me to learn but i am not confident in my visual processing skills or my multitasking skills at all. if my life depended on me driving to a hospital i would die. i don't have a job. i think i might be able to work part time if i had accommodations. but only if i had accomodations. otherwise i'd get fired immediately. i refuse to make eye contact. i have IBS and would have to be allowed to go to the bathroom whenever i need for however long i need. i have dyscalculia i cannot work any job with numbers. i don't care if the cash register tells me change if i read the numbers wrong and give wrong change i will get fired. i have dyspraxia i cannot wait tables or be in a situation where there is a time limit. i'm autistic and will not be able to go home and feed myself if all my energy is taken up talking to customers or coworkers. its very easy for everyone to look at me and go "get a job" but at a certain point you have to use ur brain and think "hmm this woman can't take care of herself without help and she's also been neglected and abused for 18 years out of her 20 year old life.. maybe she won't be the best employee"

[computerfrog2000]

So as an update to this post by @whalesharkpasta :

I wanted to do an updated version for myself after thinking more about my autism symptoms and recent-ish regression/burn out I’ve experienced.

So when it comes to how strangers perceive me in public, it mostly depends on how overwhelmed or stressed I am. If someone is casually observing me I can either just appear fidgety and aloof, or I can be ticcing, moving unusually, and unaware of my surroundings where I’m running into things and other people.

Now when I actually interact with a stranger that’s a different story. All focus goes to just being able to say what I need. This will involve stuttering, completely forgetting words and how tone works, and long pauses to get my thoughts together. And with fidgeting and little to no eye contact. I think most people realize there’s something up with me at this point. Luckily most of the time they are patient and kind.

I am constantly moving my body repetitively and “weirdly” and rarely notice that I’m doing it. Most of the time I think it’s funny that I do this and my boyfriends poke fun at me at how I do things and maneuver around. Other times it can be problematic where my tics can’t be controlled or I run into things/other people. I often have bruises of unknown origin from banging into things and not feeling it.

My meltdowns often can lead me to banging my head or even trying to run away. Meltdowns usually lead to shutdowns afterwards, or shutdowns happen on their own. Shutdowns can and often do make me go catatonic and unable to speak. This can last anywhere from like 20 minutes to a couple hours.

I was in general education and got speech therapy and was in “social skills” groups in elementary school. I definitely should have gotten occupational therapy for my sensory processing and motor skill issues. I luckily am getting that now at the age of 24… I was not diagnosed with anything when I was a kid due to weird reasons like my parents and pediatrician not wanting to label me with anything. Plus my mom having sexist views on girls having autism. Even though she is a speech therapist. She actually was my speech therapist at my school since she worked there.

When it comes to my language, I completely understand what others are saying for the most part, except for auditory processing stuff, once I know what words they’re saying I do understand. I struggle with expressive language most of the time to some extent. When I am not overwhelmed I sound pretty “normal” with good tone, though I still have frequent pauses because I don’t think in words. I think in images, feelings, abstract concepts, vibes, etc. Before I speak or write/type I have to translate my thoughts to actual words. This happens faster or slower depending how I’m feeling. I often forget words, several times a day. I remember the feeling of the word, and that it exists for the context of what I’m saying. (Though there have been times where I think a word exists when it actually doesn’t)

When I get overwhelmed I can lose all tone and rhythm to my speech. I pause after every couple of words for several seconds. Sometimes I give up and go to using gestures or typing. I’ve been considering using symbol based AAC during these times, I just would need to get that set up and find a decent app for it. Plus get over my internalized ableism and embarrassment associated with it.

I used to be a lot more functional than this. Most people wouldn’t think that I was autistic in middle and high school. Even from ages 18 to 21 ish. But I started regressing for various reasons. Especially in the past year or so. Thankfully I think the regression has stabilized at this point.

I was finally diagnosed with autism sometime last year by my neuro-psychiatrist. I’m wanting to get a full psychological assessment to fully determine my level of support needs and what sort of support I would benefit from. But finding providers who assess adults and take Medicaid is nearly impossible.

Looking at this guide, which shouldn’t be viewed as an actual diagnostic tool, it can be helpful in understanding yourself and give thought to what to bring up with your doctors. Discussions with my loved ones and therapist/doctors has led to thoughts on what my level could be. Me and my boyfriends half jokingly say I’m level 1.5

It’s hard to say without getting fully assessed. I know that I require support, and it seems like I require more support than a lot of level 1 autistics I personally know. There’s a lot to take into consideration, since the shutdowns are exasperated by my dissociative disorder. And my level of independence is impacted by my seizure disorder(s). Plus a bunch of other things that complicate how my symptoms present.

I want to briefly clarify that I am fully supportive of people self diagnosing. I self diagnosed in middle school with ADHD and autism, mostly cause no one would listen to me and the adults in my life had no interest in assisting me. Turns out I was correct. And I believe most people who self diagnose are correct about their situation as well. Not everyone is privileged enough to get diagnosed, and some people don’t want a diagnosis for various reasons. Sometimes just understanding why you feel and experience life in the way you do is enough. For me, I needed to get diagnosed because I require supportive services that would otherwise be unavailable to me without diagnosis.

Alright, have a nice day everyone!

[boldlyvoid]

ain't it fun? | Part five

Summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

Warnings: pregnancy, chronic illness, spencer's career chance - he's a high school teacher now, they have a 1-year-old, smut at the end but not graphic.

word count: 2.8k

a/n: I imagine this is in season 10, so they've been together at least 7 years-ish now, I just jumped well into the future because I wanted to! also, Cordelia's nickname is Edie and pronounced Ee-dee !!

P1 P2 P3 P4

“No.”

Spencer sighs, “are you going to like any of my suggestions?”

“When you give me a baby name that isn’t from some weird old male book character, then yes, I’ll take them into consideration,” she replies, hand on her stomach as she lays back against the pillows.

She was huge, 9 months pregnant and so, so close to the finish line. She was swollen and in pain and exhausted. Going off every single medication and recreational drugs to make a life was a commitment and a half, she was doing well but she was so ready to be done. To do a few more months of breastfeeding and then go back on her medications.

Spencer was terrific. He was googling and asking Penelope to research things, he had called doctors he knows and friends and did everything in his power to find a way to ease her pain even before they got pregnant. He’s taken the last 3 months off of work and he doesn’t know when he’ll go back. He has just been so, so incredible the whole time.

Naming a child was hard. You had to not only think about all the nicknames and what their initials spell, but you also had to think about how they’ll like it; if it’ll fit their personality and spirit. And most of all, is it going to get them bullied? There are some terrible kid names. Like Richard… how do you name a newborn Richard?

“I want something meaningful with a nice nickname and works with our names and her siblings,” she whispered towards him. “They need to all work together.”

“What are some of your favourites?” He asks, moving in closer and finding a way to cuddle in with her and her pregnancy pillow who has all but replaced him lately.

“I like earthy names, like Lennox, Juniper, Aspen, Elowen,” her voice is really soft, she bites her lip at the end as she thinks them over again. “And old things like Cordelia and Winnifred.”

“Which one sounds the best with Reid?”

“I like Cordelia Reid the most, and then we can call her Edie and I was thinking you can pick her middle name?” She’s been thinking about it for a while, but too afraid to know his opinions.

“Cordelia means core in Latin, which makes sense cause she already has my heart,” Spencer teased, he has made it very clear that their little girl is going to be spoiled, loved and a daddy's girl.

He took all his fears of being a bad dad and threw them out the window. He knew that just being there was all he wanted from his dad, and so that’s what he was going to do. He left the BAU for the time being, he was doing the odd lecture at the academy and answering calls for cases. They couldn’t just stop using his brain, there were some things too pressing to not ask the walking computer, but other than that, he was done.

He was looking into other jobs for when he finally decides to go back, he was unsure how long of a paternity leave he wanted. He was really content with just staying home all the time now, but he did miss going out and being useful during the days. The job he was most interested in, however, was a high school teacher.

A prep school in DC is looking into adding an Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology course to their curriculum, and they wanted Spencer. They thought he would be perfect for the seniors, he is fun and young and attentive, he can control a room and keep them entertained, and he’s probably the best teacher a kid could get.

It was going to make him a good dad too.

“I think Jade is a nice middle name,” he adds after thinking it over for a few minutes.

“Cordelia Jade Reid,” she says the full name for the first time and it just feels right, like they already know her.

—

She was very calm for a newborn baby.

She liked to just look around and blink, she licked her lips a lot and she was constantly breaking out of her swaddle. She was always happy to have cuddles with her dad and she pooped every night at exactly at 3 am, without fail. She didn’t cry a lot, but when she did it was still wonderful to hear.

They were so in love with her, she was absolutely perfect for them. She fit right into their sleeping schedule and their life, she ate like a pro, she slept most of the night and she was growing way too fast for their liking.

One day they’re crying over the fact they made a life in a tiny little hospital room, and the next thing they know she’s about to turn 1.

She’s sitting in bed with Y/N, she’s sitting in her lap with two handfuls of hair and a story to tell. She’s been babbling so much lately, she hears them talking all the time and she wants to join so badly. They indulge her, asking her to continue her thoughts and gasping at her gossip.

“No way, and what did you do next?!” She asked the little one sat in her lap.

Edie babbled on once more, smacking her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she pushed air past her vocal cords, humming and making the funniest sounds. She went on and on, she was so enthusiastic, like her father, as she waved her arms around to make her point.

“That is so fascinating, you are so cool, little Edie,” Y/N hyped her up, smiling at her as she leaned in close and pressed their noses together.

Cordelia laughed and it finally made Spencer giggle too, he had been watching from the doorway as his ‘wife’ and daughter talked in bed. They were best friends already, always talking and snuggling, learning or reading together. She was always happy when she was with one of them, she was needy and snuggly and very co-dependent but they didn’t mind, they preferred all the attention from her.

“Look who’s home,” Y/N whispered and Cordelia shot a glance towards the door, she smiled and screamed as she saw him.

“Hi Edie!” He waves at her with a smile, he takes his bag off and places it by the dresser followed by his blazer.

He gets into the bed and she instinctively reaches for a hug. He wraps her up and she snuggles right into his neck, with a fistful of his shirt, she just holds him there. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t home all day anymore, she missed him for lunch and at nap time but she loved the new routine of a snuggle when she woke up and he got home.

Spencer leans back against the pillows beside Y/N, turning his head to capture a kiss from her lips. They always just spend a quick second kissing when he gets home, even if it’s just a peck or a full-on passionate make-out, he always kisses her when he comes home. He smiles at the end of the kiss, pulling her into a hug too.

“I love Fridays,” he whispers, “Edie do you know what Fridays mean?”

She pulls away and sits up, she loves to listen to him. “Friday is the last day of the school week, which means I get to spend 2 whole days with my favourite people now.”

Edie smiled, almost like she understood what he meant, and then she was talking again, it was completely incomprehensible but they imagined she was telling him about her day.

“You forgot the part where we went to the park,” Y/N added.

Cordelia looked at her with wide eyes, “dada,” was the only word she said before babbling on again and they both stopped.

“Did she just?” Spencer was shocked and frozen still after asking.

Y/N sat up and looked right into Cordelia’s eyes, “who is that?” She pointed at Spencer.

“Dada!” She said it again and they were suddenly all squealing, even Cordelia was suddenly excited as she kept screaming dada over and over again.

“Can you say, mom? Or mama? Mummy?” Spencer tried his hardest to find an easy way for her to say it.

“Mumm,” she pushed her lips together to hum her M sound and Spencer was floored, he bounced her up and down a small amount as they cheered.

“Smartest girl in the world!” Spencer cheered her on before pulling her into another hug.

Y/N was crying softly, little tiny dreams that she didn’t even know she had were coming true every single day with them. She knew she wanted to be a mom when she was growing up, all those dreams died when her illness got worse and they all warned her that having kids would put her at risk of being moneyless and that working wasn’t an option to even support them. Let alone the threat of them taking them away just because of her autism or depression possibly being considered ‘too bad’ to care for them.

Spencer took all those fears and he kicked them out. Every day she got to experience the most precious gifts the world had to offer, her daughter was perfect and her husband was incredible. Together they were a perfect little family that ran on trust, love, and communication. Always talking, always hugging, always there for each other.

—

They crawl into bed much later than they expected to. Cordelia didn’t want to go to bed, she was trying her hardest to keep staying awake to spend time with them but eventually, sleep won. They finally placed her in her crib with her white noise and her complete darkness and closed her door for the next few hours of peace.

They both let out a deep sigh before rolling to face one another. “How was your day?” He asks, like always.

“Good,” she smiles, “I think having a kid and getting on her schedule was the best thing I’ve ever done actually, cause I’m sleeping on time, I’m eating when she does and I’m outside a lot more. She’s given me this purpose and it’s rewarding on my body.”

Spencer moves in so he can kiss her nose, “I love hearing that.”

“How was your class today?” She asks back, loving his little stories about all the 17 and 18-year-olds that were fascinated by him. As well as the kids who thought it was cool to try and pick on him before getting the shit verbally kicked out of them in front of the whole class.

It was interesting seeing him in a form of authority, he never really took charge at the BAU, she’s never seen him yell at his friends and he’s never really yelled at her either. He’s been incredibly calm, so to see him verbally tear someone apart by acknowledging their biggest flaws to make sense of why they feel the need to bully, it was pretty intense.

“They were a lot better today, they enjoyed the lesson and the kids that were giving me trouble skipped, I guess he really didn’t appreciate me calling him out that bad on Tuesday,” Spencer smirked, rolling his eyes like he cared.

“I still can’t believe that he thought it was okay to call you names in front of other students, where is the respect these days?”

“Well,” he’s about to do what he always does. He can never be truly mad at someone because he knows why everyone does what they do and that they can’t help it. “In his file, it says his parents are newly divorced, we get a list of all the kids information on the attendance like allergies and things, but also small info like life changes in case they act out.”

“Doesn’t mean he can call you the f slur,” she whispers, “all because you wore a purple shirt?”

“If I met his father I’d probably get an answer for that,” he adds, “if he’s afraid to show his emotions around his son, it’s probably why his son thinks colours are gay.”

It makes her laugh, “you look hot in purple too so I don’t see the problem?”

“Do I?” He teases, getting in even closer and pressing their bodies together.

She rolls her eyes before wrapping her arms around him and leaning forward for a quick kiss, “I think you look sexy all the time.”

He kisses her as a thank you, “I think the same about you.”

“Even when I haven’t showered in 2 days because she cries if she can’t see me and she cries if she gets wet?” Y/N laughed, annoyed but in love with their little monster at the same time.

“Always,” he reminds her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she kisses him again after.

There are probably a million more things to share from the day, but they spend their time kissing instead. It’s been too long since they’ve just rolled around in the sheets making out like they did in the beginning. Before they ever had sex, before they had kids and a house and a love as strong as they do now.

A part of them missed the early days when everything was new and exciting, but she also loved the fact that they knew each other so well that they didn’t have to communicate anymore. They ran like 1 unit, always completing the other person's thoughts, needs and wants. They were so unbelievably happy.

She wants him badly and he wants her just as much, and he’s about to take her when she pulls back. “Nope, as much as I love her I can’t get pregnant again for at least another year.”

It makes him laugh as he pulls away and rolls over to look through his nightstand for a condom, “it wouldn’t be that bad?”

“You carry it then, seahorse it up,” she teased. “I like being back on my medicine, I need some time to be okay before I go through all that again.”

Once he’s all situated in the latex and back between her legs, he hovers over her, so close that their lips are touching ever so slightly. “I am fine if it’s just the three of us forever.”

“I’m not,” she smiles, “there will be 4 of us one day, just not today.”

With that, she’s pulling him into another kiss as he pushing inside. It’s a feeling she’s accustomed to but will never be used to, it’s a stretch that shouldn’t be as intoxicating as it is. She holds him closer as she plays with his tongue in her mouth.

He was so good at everything he did, especially the sex. He knew every single part of her body now and exactly how to push all her buttons the right way. She could live in the moment of his pumping in and out of her while his thumb circled her clit and his other hand groaned her breasts. Eventually, he kissed down her throat and she was a mess of breathy moans and low gasps.

Writing in the sheets, her legs wrap around him as she tried to pull him in even closer. It was impossible to get closer but he was still too far away, she wanted to absorb him and live in him forever. He was her safe place and she never wanted to be anywhere else.

As her orgasm bubbled, so did his. The both of them gasping and panting, she whined as she breached the edge and gripped his back, “Spence!”

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered before fucking into her harder and faster, pushing her through it as he reached his own.

His movements on her clit never stopped and suddenly one felt like two and she wasn’t sure when the rush was going to stop and she didn’t care when it did. It was powerful, soothing and euphoric. A high she could live in for a while and return to it without problem as long as she had him.

He came with a small moan, trying to keep quiet as he muffled it into her neck, stilling his hips on his last thrust and dropping onto her more. Her hands were all over his back as she pressed kisses to his forehead, coming down but not wanting the love to stop there.

The love was never going to stop there for them. Their love was never-ending, and somehow as she held him there in her arms and felt his breath on his neck, she turned to see the baby monitor with their peaceful child sound asleep down the hall, she loved him even more now somehow.

Loving Spencer Reid was like falling down a bottomless pit. She never knew when she was going to reach the end, but she was content with falling.

smut taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[katebushsbabushka]

My Story

Growing up, I never realized I was different. 

Everyone else just did. 

 I couldn’t speak until well past the age of language acquisition, and I struggled in every school subject that didn’t involve memorization until high school when I suddenly developed a high proficiency in the English language. Prior to then,  my mom was scared that I wouldn’t be as smart as my older brother, who was reading college medical textbooks for fun in high school.  

I obviously don’t have to say what we’re already thinking about him. 

Growing up, I understood foreign languages better than I did sarcasm. As a little girl, I never realized other kids didn’t wring their hands when they were upset or excited. 

But other kids certainly took the time to point out that fact to me. 

Growing up, everyone around me thought I was purposefully doing my tics just to annoy them. Everyone thought I was just actively trying to be strange. 

I wasn’t. 

I remember family members yelling at me for refusing to look people in the eye and telling me to quit acting like “less of a retard.” I remember a close family member performing, what they deemed, an accurate impersonation of me. This display included hand flapping and running around, screaming the word Sonic in the most offensive vocal tones that still make me cringe whenever I think about the memory. Sonic the Hedgehog was my first ever special interest, something I had an encyclopedic knowledge of by age fifteen and something I was brutally made fun of for years. 

I was twelve years old when this happened, and, when I brought this story up years later to combat claims that I “wasn’t autistic enough,” I was berated and told to “let things go.” 

When I was eighteen, I had so little self-worth that I entered relationships that resulted in having my boundaries violated multiple times. Everyone told me to get out and wondered what was wrong with me for allowing these men to stomp all over me. 

I didn’t think I could find a better partner. 

When I was in university, I finally broke down and saw my school’s counselor at the behest of my room mate who begged me to do so. I had a meltdown the night before in our dormitory in front of her and her boyfriend after my social needs were pushed to their apex by our friends. I was ashamed. I thought I was manipulating her. I had been told my whole life that my autistic traits were simply attention seeking behaviors. 

I thought I wanted attention. 

I wanted help. 

In therapy, my counselor begins to suspect autism spectrum disorder after I mistook my stims for OCD compulsions. I begin discussing my entire life with her. For the first time ever, I understood myself. We spend weeks in therapy talking over my entire life. I told her that I felt different from everyone, like everyone had gotten a tutorial before birth, and I simply did not. She encourages me to take self-evaluations, and I learn about the RDOS test. 

I scored nearly triple what I needed to be considered autistic. 

I report back to my therapist, who tells me she’s positive I’m on the spectrum. I begin opening up to my friends, two of whom knew me their whole lives. One of them tells me that their parent works with children on the spectrum and had been unofficially evaluating my behavior since I walked into their home, and my friend had known I was on the spectrum since elementary school and never knew how to tell me. 

I found out later that was a general consensus among my friends. 

I find out later that I was reportedly being tested for something as a toddler due to my delayed speech. The condition my physicians were attempting to diagnose though has been forgotten. My parents pulled me out of the process. 

They didn’t want to ruin my life with a label. 

A label is what saved my life. 

[pinnipedia-art]

omg now that we found out about your ice age enjoyment may i ask your opinion of all of them (or the ones you have seen whatever works) love your art so so so much ^_^

i have a mammoth oc i thought it was obvious🤭 BUT TY OFC i will gladly take this opportunity to go fullmetal autism mode

ice age: i ADORE this one it's a classic and it's lovely, good character designs. manny's whole character is so good and it's so sad because of the humans. i love the saber group❤ i love the ending a lot. i wish roshan(the baby) had more involvement or i saw them as an adult with manny i think it would have been cute. they made the humans so love shaped

ice age meltdown: i originally hated this one bc they just decided to give manny a love interest after showing his whole backstory and i used to HATE ELLIE when i was a kid i don't know why but now i love her. i love the possums and i love how she was raised like one i think it's cute. i used to watch this one a lot because of the "food glorious food" scene and i would sing it at dinner all the time as a kid. i haven't seen this one in a while but i want to. also funny dinosaur monsters are cool

dawn of the dinosaurs: MY FAVOURITE as i said in the post i still have the dvd i bought of it from france which means it's like 13 years old. i love it the animation is good and i love peaches and buck. the dinosaurs are sooo cute and i love how the mom dino accepted sid in the end :D one thing i dislike is that peaches is just a carbon copy of ellie this makes me so mad when films do this. but i can tell it only happened cus they knew they weren't gonna make more movies(and then they did)

continental drift: i have a love hate relationship with this one. on one hand, the pirates are SO FUCKING AWESOME AND I ADORE THEM. like the character designs are so fun and i love pirates and ICE AGE mixed together. the monkey is awesome he's a cool villain too. shira is...cool if she wasn't obviously there to give diego a girlfriend(he doesnt need one) but then theres..peaches🙄 i love peaches but i do wish she wasn't Like That. don't get me started on the "apparently mammoths arent extinct and there are teenagers who hang out with ellie" like i know this wasn't true IRL but if they have a plot they should stick to it. the teenagers are also mad annoying but i forgive them since their designs are funny. they look like instagram influencers. i KNOW steffie has 1k insta followers and promotes a keto diet. at this point the series is being milked HARD. also LOUIS❤❤❤louis my love

collision course: WHERE IS LOUIS? WHY DID YOU THROW OUT HIS INVOLVEMENT WITH PEACHES? WHERE DID HER STUPID ANNOYING FIANCE COME FROM? THEY'RE TRYING TO BUTTER ME UP WITH COOL MAMMOTH DESIGNS BUT IT'S NOT WORKING!!!! I WONT SAY I LIKE JULIAN!!!! I REFUSE!!!! HE IS NOT CUTE AND FAT!!!!! why do the mammoths play hockey. why is scrat in space. the plot is incredibly stupid. yes i do like the llama. shira becomes That kind of female character, you know the one where they just forget about all previous plot and just give them baby fever even though she would literally never. sid got a girlfriend which i mean good for him but shes british. the dinosaurs annoy me. the plot annoys me. good job you got money from milking a perfectly good franchise that should have ended when you mixed dinosaurs and the ice age. i do like it though

[soulvomit]

Per this... this is another confounding thing about my upbringing and how it complicates a lot of stuff:

Being partially homeschooled, and raised around my dad’s work, and working early. (Not really early for *my* age group, and absolutely not uncommon for people with working class or rural backgrounds, or for people whose families have a business, like my dad did. Also there was an emphasis on learning real world skill early in my family. Not just in computers, but a bunch of different things. My mom gave me my first typewriter when I was about 7 and taught me to alphabetize, file, etc at some point in my childhood. I was taught how to answer the phone, too.  Another thing is that I wasn’t really pushed out of the room or anything when my parents had friends over. Their big thing was having people over to sing, and I was kinda dragged into the middle of this. (The singing was fun except that my mom never let me play her guitar, but I hated the game nights.) I grew up with their friends kind of being like my aunts and uncles, they were my friends too.  Like... there is absolutely no accounting for this by a clinician because most clinical standards of neurodivergence are based on Professional-Managerial Class WASP normal.  Another thing is how flipping autistic my parents seem (I could make a very, very strong case for them both being, and severe learning and communication disabilities are strong in my mom’s family and hit her whole side of the family; she comes off ASD to me and is the *least* severely affected of that side of the family.) 

There is a lot to my life where basically I grew up in the culture of my parents, and adapted around them, and to them. There are things I couldn’t do around them, I couldn’t even cry around them, and I learned early, and one reason I struggled to learn to regulate my emotions, was because of the unspoken “we’re training you to speak Aspie” stuff at home, the way I was required to interact with my parents, then suddenly having meltdowns when I got out of their world. Sometimes dealing with my mom I feel like I’m masking *the hardest* - because of having to maneuver around her probable autism, not say words that set her off, have to speak in a specific manner if we’re not going to argue, etc.  I would *have to have been raised in a very typical way* for anything resembling autism to become obvious: how does a kid raised in the normal way, act beside normal kids? (And even THAT might be hard to tell, because I went to very, very multicultural public schools, and wasn’t raised in a WASP environment; I did not know I had a problem with eye contact until I was in a private school, because no-eye-contact is an actual expected norm in far more cultures I was raised around, and something drilled into me to avoid getting into street fights.) My life experience absolutely seems to not be part of the life experience track of that many people who get to be part of the sample set of The Autism Experience. It feels like it’s a whole cultural difference. It’s a life shape, and set of intergenerational relationships, that seem really foreign to a lot of American middle to upper middle class people.  Not only do I feel like working class people and non-WASPs have a different relationship with this kind of dynamic than do WASPs, but I also feel like old money of previous generations does, too.  I feel like old money of previous generations was more likely to “get it” about this life shape, especially if they’re raising their child as the heir to their business or to assume an aristocratic role, than American middle class does.  Mid-century American middle class Normal is its own thing having nothing to do with the socioeconomic cultures on either side of it. So here is the thing: I knew how to act around adults. This was *very* clearly and explicitly communicated to me as a kid and it was important to my parents that I understood. I feel like very explicit etiquette instruction has been drilled into me as early as I could absorb it. My parents were more concerned with how I came off to adults than how I came off to other kids. 

Most of the Platonic ideal of American Middle Class kids are brought up in KidLand then make some kind of social transition into teenhood (where kids in my generation also had to learn to code switch between Teen Speech & Manners, and Adult Speech & Manners), and then adulthood. They move through a very separate world from their parents, and then have a separate adulthood that their parents have little part in.

I wasn’t brought up in KidLand. I was brought up *hugely* in my parents’ world. 

[page-doctor-bekker]

transfemme!sarah au

thinking about transfemme!sarah

literally coming up with this au on the fly but here you go

this is literally so long but whatever i like it

there are a couple trigger warnings in this (suicide, hate crimes), they’re listed in bold italicized writing before and after the trigger so you can easily skip them. this is in bullet point format.

anyways i love this and i'm obsessed with it so enjoy! first chicago med au. it doesn't really have a name yet but i'm tagging it transfemme!sarah for now

from the minute sarah was born she was definitely different, and her parents actually had her tested for autism

then got her tested again when the first one was negative. and then again when the second one was negative.

her parents were actually so positive that she was autistic that finally one of the psychologists ended up giving her a PDDNOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) diagnosis until a therapist suggested gender dysphoria

i mean back then kids weren’t trans they were just Troubled(tm)

so up until she was about nine or so they figured she just didn’t have enough care for social cues that she didn’t understand gender enough to act like a boy instead of acting like a girl. she refused to wear “boy’s” clothes which was mistaken for sensory issues, had anger issues and outbursts that were mistaken for meltdowns, they really thought she was autistic

i mean. she pretended to breastfeed baby dolls for christ’s sake.

anyways once her therapist figured this out, she was discharged and transferred to a gender specialist psychologist who revoked the pddnos diagnosis and switched it to a gender dysphoria diagnosis

sarah’s mom was completely on board and had quietly suspected it herself but her dad

hooo boy her dad

her dad hated the idea so much that he basically walked out and never came back

sarah started going by sarah because she loved sarah from hocus pocus

anyways she was 9 when she changed her name and she moved schools because she was getting bullied

when she was 10 all her girl friends at her new school started growing boobs and getting their periods and sarah started getting really depressed

which ultimately lead her mom to take her to an endocrinologist that specialized in gender diverse care

and she started puberty blockers

sudden new issue: sarah is terrified of needles. her childhood vaccines caused full-blown panic attacks and the blockers were no different.

she is horrifically stubborn and determined to make this work though

so she kept going. and every week she had a panic attack and had to skip her injections a couple times because she just couldn’t handle it

but eventually, her panic attacks got less and less overwhelming with the help of being prescribed a benzo to take fifteen minutes before her injection. eventually once she could handle the injections with the help of the benzo, they tapered it off until she could 100% handle needles sober. this took close to two years, but she did it.

(side note - this positive experience with exposure therapy was why she was so keen on trying it during s3 with dr charles)

so at this point she’s about twelve and still feels left out from her peers. she’s going into middle school, her friends are all growing up physically and she just feels left behind

her mom tries to convince her that some girls are just late bloomers, she can still fit in even if she waits to go on estrogen, nobody is going to suspect a thing, etc etc etc

but it gets really bad. her dysphoria gets terrible and she starts having panic attacks so severe that she had to leave school and be homeschooled.

SUICIDE TW UNDER HERE

then sarah attempts suicide

she spends about a month in the psych ward to recover, and ultimately the doctors advised starting low dose hormone replacement to alleviate her dysphoria

SUICIDE TW OVER

sarah cried when she had her first estradiol injection, but this time it was happy tears, not tears of panic

she had injections weekly, and as she started to see changes she got so, so much happier

fat redistributed, her skin got softer, she even started to grow breasts. lots of fun stuff.

they later added progesterone for more effects when she was in highschool

also in highschool she found out she was a lesbian. not important rn but that did happened

her graduation gift from her mom was breast augmentation surgery <3 congratulations sarah ily

after all that, she finally decided she wanted to go into medicine.

so she started college and moved to chicago

the first year of college, she was out and proud and even had an officer position at the gsa on campus

HATE CRIME TW

in her second year she was the victim of a pretty bad hate crime committed by a group of frat boys on campus. she was attacked walking home from a party at night.

HATE CRIME TW OVER

while she recovered from that experience, both mentally and physically, she had to take a gap year from college and move back home with her mother

her mother persuaded her to finish her degree closer to home, so sarah stayed home for the last two and a half years of college, and upon graduating college, she decides to move back to chicago for med school

this time she stays closeted because she has ptsd from college

first three years are uneventful but she does quietly get a bottom surgery consult, but she decides not to move forward for awhile

and that brings us to season one

alrighty season one

as we know there’s a lil mild homophobia and whatnot in the hospital and as a result of that, sarah deals with some lovely compulsive heterosexuality and is still extremely closeted

so she dates joey even though she is most definitely a lesbian in denial but she doesn’t tell him she’s trans out of fear

then things with joey get even more serious and he wants to get intimate with her, so he makes an advance one night when they’re home watching a movie

so she lies her way out of it, says she’s waiting for marriage and not ready and blah blah blah

total lies

she’s a lesbian and she knows this

so anyways she breaks up with him right after she graduates med school, quits pathology to avoid him, and mourns the loss for a bit before she realizes

she wants to move forward with bottom surgery

so she schedules an orchiectomy and has that done during the time before she was hired by dr. charles

for laymen, an orchiectomy is the removal of the the testicles :) typically the first step in multi-stage bottom surgery, which is where you do each stage of bottom surgery at different times

anyways it fits into the timeline because recovery from that procedure takes less than a week

then dr charles hires her for s2, events of s2 go as written

then the sexy ava bekker moves to chicago med from south africa and sarah is SMITTEN

anyways i should probably stop here and avoid spoilers

well whatever i'm open to asks abt this <3

[transephiroth]

an important post: abuse from friends, friend abuse. please read and reblog.

TW: abuse ment, bpd ment, ed ment, suicide ment, ptsd, trauma, death ment. gaslighting ment.

i don’t know what exactly what has compelled me to make this post at nearly 1:00 am on a school night just like every other, but i think the importance of advocacy of preventing, spotting, and stopping abusive friendships is to talk about them with the same respect as any other form of abuse.

i’ll give you a small overview of my personal experience with abusive friendships: when i was 16, my father committed suicide. i was not aware he was my biological father at they time and actually found out he was not my half brother, but my biological father. my father, who’s name i will not mention. i won’t even use fake names they’re hard to keep track of. i found out my mother, an abusive drug addict, slept with her husband, my apparent grandfather’s, adult son from a previous marriage consensually. one way or another, my father was forbidden to be involved in my life, and my grandfather raised me as his own. (in case you’re going to ask about inc*st, my father and mother have no relation, she is not his mother.)

the shock of learning this and grieving his death from the few negative interactions he and his mental health had on my family when i was a baby, was intense. i had no friends at school and felt incredibly lost and vulnerable. when i was in this place i met my best friend. we bonded over a shared hatred of my ex boyfriend, who was an abuser, who was dating her ex best friend.

this should have been a red flag, but i ignored it.

i took the first friend i could find after my ex took away all my friends in an effort to isolate me after my assault. this was probably the worst part of my life, and one of my first real suicide attempts was only days before my father died. the first friend i found, the first soul i recognized i clung to.

when me and my friend, who we will call P, were inseparable. but there was a very clear and distinct difference between us. P was a star in the band at school, she had great grades, tons of friends and was quite conventionally attractive. she was involved in a lot of extracurriculars and overall had a very nice demeanor.

this should have been a red flag. as harsh as it might sound, idealizing anyone is unhealthy. if someone appears to you as perfect, it’s not paranoid of you to wonder if it’s hiding something. it’s hard to tell when someone is being genuine, especially for myself with autism. nice words and a smile can pretty much fool anyone.

i, on the other hand of P, dropped out of band and just about every other activity after my assault, and was in and out of intense therapy and psych visits throughout all of high school. i never could go a school year without a visit. to this day i have gone a whole year however :)

I was an autistic shut in who quite honestly, cried a lot, smelled bad, was clearly poor, spoke funny and came to school drunk. we were not the same.

i don’t want to go over every painstaking detail, so i’ll try to summarize as best i can the first two years of our three year relationship.

P was diagnosed with BPD about a month into our friendship. she told me i was her FP/favorite person, and showed me videos to learn about BPD. i remember watching hours and hours of information about BPD to accommodate her the best i could. what i didn’t realize however, was that she was lying. she didn’t have BPD, or at least couldn’t be diagnosed because we were 16.

red flag. i knew this was a lie because i had been in therapy for years. it took me a long time to peace it together but i accepted it and beget told her, until this moment, that i knew.

i fucking knew.

months of friendship included constant easy to see through lies, fabrications, pathological rants, and pretty much changing her “back story” every day. it was draining not to mention it, but the few times i did, she got physical. i have scars on my right forearm from her nails, which were long and broke skin. she would tell me she would pay me back for things and never show. she would make fun of things i told her in secret to our friends, my trauma. my dad.

“dark humor”

over time, she convinced me to drop every single friend i had except for her. she had gotten me literally completely vulnerable and isolated.

when covid hit, my mom, of course, kicked me out. i moved in with P and her family. my time there over quarantine was very monotonous, but i’ll never forget that for basically 8-9 months, she never let me out of her sight. i felt like i had to just do whatever she wanted because her mother let me live there for free.

p knew i wanted to move away from my mother and the chaos of my home life for years.

right before quarantine, P got her first boyfriend. she had never had a boyfriend and had been to scared to get one. i was really happy for her, i encouraged her to ask him out while she was at a weekend school event.

P then began to manipulate not only me, but him. to this day i don’t know what’s become of either of them, but i really couldn’t care less anymore. when trauma heals, you get a sense of apathy.

P would frequently belittle me, mock me, kick, trip and slap me, force me to pay for things for her and her boyfriend on the spot, and steal from my purse.

eventually living with p, third wheeling with her less than charming boyfriend, who i honestly just didn’t mind. we weren’t friends, but i was respectful to him and treated him the same way i would treat a friend from school or something.

p has a family i won’t bring up because it involves minors, but her mother has a psychotic disorder and refuses to be medicated, so the house is full of ripped door hinges, holes in walls, smashed items and more. it’s really unsafe there, and during my time there i found i really began to internalize as a person. i developed an eating disorder and my ptsd and autism felt much more out of control.

i had been diagnosed with autism for nearly two years at that point, and living in that household made me realize just how damaging meltdown after meltdown without anyone understanding can damage your psyche long term.

i wanted to leave. i had saved my money from my jobs and got an apartment. p insisted on coming, saying she didn’t want to live with her mom anymore. i didn’t want her to come, but i agreed. she got a co-sign. i knew it was a bad idea because i heard what they said about best friends living together. i just can’t believe it really happened.

we talked about growing old together, raising our kids together. i was going to name my first daughter after her. we were going to be neighbors. her husband and my wife would be best friends just like us, but that’s not what happened.

we lived together from August 2020-November 2020

to give a quick summary of the inevitable end of this relationship, P and I had two kittens together. i asked her if she could put them away for inspection so they didn’t run out the door while i drove our third roommate, a whole other mountain of a story, to work.

she didn’t do it, instead slacked off to go to her boyfriends house. so i came back and had to put the cats away at record speed and our other roommate was late to work.

even if this was somewhat small, it was the breaking point for me. i grabbed my phone and texted her, DEMANDING she explain why she couldn’t do this one thing for me. i have never been that angry in my life. we had a phone call where i just lost it and unleashed all my anger and all my hurt about everything she had done. i was sobbing and barely making sense but i couldn’t just keep letting my life carry on this way.

i wish i remembered how the phone call ended, but all i remember was telling her “if the cats run and we can’t find them, then we are done being roommates.”

the next morning i woke up and she had blocked me on everything. i drove to the apartment and saw that overnight, according to block times at like, 3am, she had taken all our shared furniture, all my birthday gifts from not two weeks prior, all the gifts i bought her, most of my clothes, one of the apartment keys, my high school diploma, the paperwork for the cats, and not just our two shared kittens, but my third roommates cat as well.

cue search party with my partner and his friends and my other roommate for P and the cats. i found her at her house with her mom and boyfriend. i walked out and she was on the phone with my grandfather, telling him i was threatening suicide. i ask her where the cats are, she says they are at a friends house.

if we flashback in the story, we literally only had each other, so i knew it was a lie.

i managed to argue through to negotiate at least my other roommates cat, but only after P’s mom blocked us in the driveway and called the police saying we threatened her daughter

(reminder people in this group were black and asian ☺️ so she just calls the cops fall 2020)

luckily the cops saw the proof she blocked me so i couldn’t have threatened her, and let us leave.

that’s the end of the friendship. i could bore anyone who has read this far further by explaining the nightmare realm that is the legal troubles with the apartment, but the internet doesn’t need to know everything does it?

as the winter has gone on i’ve had months to basically remake myself as a person. i had to firstly face the damage P had done.

but before i get into that, anyone who is still reading first, ily, but also, if you’ve had ANY relationship that sounds similar to this, THAT IS ABUSE.

Plain and simple. It is abusive. Physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally. nobody deserves that. not P. not you. not me.

friendships can be all someone has. not everyone is born into good families with loving siblings and great parents and tons of cousins who live .3 milliseconds away. families are divided. families, like mine, are divorced. families are broken and families sometimes aren’t even families. humans need relationships, and an idealistic person who we think maybe could save us and fix the world, won’t.

you can be taken advantage of by the person you trust the most just as easily as a stranger.

it’s not wrong to face the abuse they put you through, know it was wrong, and feel valid that it is was wrong.

what i went through with P was horrible. the detachment of my only friend hurt. but i bounced back. i’m still undoing some of the damage, but i have great friends and a wonderful partner. i have two rescue cats who mean the world to me.

life gets better after abuse, but the bad days and the pain aren’t invalid because of this. i have trauma from what P put me through. abandonment like that is traumatic. but it’s not the end. feel what you need to feel to feel better.

if anyone read this far and wants to vent their own experiences, or share more advice on preventing these relationships feel free. it’s almost 1:30 now, i should go to bed.

it feels good to get that off my chest.

[thewisekenisme]

Dear Abuela

Summary: Roman writes a letter to his grandmother talking about his roommates.and how each of them has changed his life for the better

warnings: mentions crying, meltdowns, loud noises, and anxiety

words: 3,188

Series College AU

(sorry, this is shorter than I normally write Guy’s I will make it up to you! I promise also this is just an introduction into the series! so there will be more soon!)

Dear abuela,

I miss you so much! thank you for your latest letter and providing your famous chicken enchilada recipes, Patton wanted me to tell you he will make you proud when he makes it for dinner for us this week! classes are amazing! I am enjoying my theater classes and my history of theater. let me tell you I am learning way more than what Google taught me! like I learned ' that the history of theatre charts the development of theatre over the past 2,500 years. While performative elements are present in every society, it is customary to acknowledge a distinction between theatre as an art form and entertainment and theatrical or performative elements in other activities.'

but I also learned that college is a time where teens become independent, they move away from their families to focus on themselves as well as to their studies to pursue careers that have drawn their interests, but most importantly, college is a place to make some life long friendships, maybe even some relationships. There was one rule that every college student knew and would agree with. It was that being a roommate was hard. when trying to respect each others privacy going through your day to day life as a student, and trying to not get in each other's way, was a very tough and hard thing to do when they were basically with you every night. But when you end up having four other roommates on top of yourself, you tend to be in the way of everyone, more then you want to be. That is what I, Roman Prince has found out the hard way, living with four roommates was probably the hardest thing he has ever done in his life. But if you ask me if I would change it for the world. Nope, I wouldn't change anything about any of my roommates, not a single thing!

Right! My roommates, all four of them. There's Patton (padre because he acts like our dad!) Logan (mama lo, because he worries more then a mother does) Virgil (Emo nightmare, panic at the everywhere, etc.) And finally Dee (Dr. Jekyll and Mr lie, jack the fiber, etc). Oh! How can I forget Spot! ( Logan's service dog) These are the people who have changed my life in just a few short months! And I will tell you why because hopefully they can come to visit sometime during break soon! I know you and papa will love to meet them, and abuela I know how much you love to make sure everyone who comes into the house is feed and is happy, you won't have to worry about them not liking your food, I have been telling them all about you and your cooking, and about papa, everything! And they can't wait to try your cooking and to meet you and papa, that will be an amazing day that I will not forget. Okay so how I am going to tell you about each of them, I will put their first and last name, their ages and what year they are! Okay? Okay! Let's get started!

Patton hart, 21 junior -

Now Patton is basically the dad In our little friend group. He makes sure we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Makes sure we have soup and medicine when we are sick, he says puns like they are going out of style! Everything that a parent does, Patton's has done it ten times that! Patton is the kindest person you will ever meet. like if he sees someone he doesn't know struggling to carry their books, he will be by their side willing to carry the books for them. He's also super hyper and cheerful! I think he has ADHD like me, but when I ask he gets nervous and tells me I'm just being silly and he doesn't have that. But I can tell because he's lying because he always bites his lips and giggles a bit when he lies. But I won't push him to tell if he doesn't wish too.

Anyways, he is the oldest in our apartment, he shares a room with his twin brother Logan and Logan's service dog spot. (I'll tell you more about him next, but get this, Logan has a different last name! I know crazy huh! Turns out their parents are divorced and Pat goes from his moms and dads but logan stay's with his mom mostly, okay sorry ill stop gossiping for now) He is going to school to become a veterinarian (even tho he's allergic to cats) he told us it was the perfect job for him because he loves animals and taking care of people. What better way than to take care of both? I mean yes we are all still very worried about him and his allergies, but I believe he can do anything he puts his mind too, and he has! So far he's been aceing all of his classes plus has been keeping up with helping any of us if we need it.

Now I bet you're wondering how I met this wonderful human? Well, I met him just how I explained Patton helps people. I was struggling to carry all my books after my bookbag had just fallen apart, I was also late for class so I was rushing and ended up tripping scattering my books everywhere! I am not ashamed to say I cried, it was the first week of school, I was rushing, I was late, so this was just the icing on the cake! But then out of the blue, an angel appeared in front of me reaching a hand out offering a helping hand. There stood Patton hart with a worried expression and hand out to help me. As I said he is the kindest person you will ever meet! And since that moment we have been friends! So that's good.

Oh, Patton wanted me to let you know that when they visit you will not be allowed to lift a finger. He wants to be able to take care of you because you let all five of us into your home. And yes I told him you would want to do things anyways but he insisted so. Abuela you may have met your match. 

Logan Berry, 21 junior -

Logan is actually the mom of the group. he is the opposite of Patton, he makes us study, makes sure we go to bed and wake up at a decent time, eats a healthy diet, no sweets or movie nights on school nights! but all he does is study and stay with Patton, and get this we aren't allowed to be loud if we are excited or want to get our point across! he has all of us on a tight schedule we aren't allowed to do anything fun! he is the second oldest in the house (twenty minutes younger then Patton, but he acts like the oldest, and thinks he can boss us around!) A total killjoy, But mostly he can sometimes be an emotionless robot, which may sound harsh but he kinda acts like one, like he doesn't show much emotion and speaks very monotoned like "I too would appreciate it if you did not speak so loudly, spot and I do not like the noise" that's how he talks to us, all the time, he's just so proper and preppy kinda like a snob who thinks their better then everyone. I mean he is a Science major and is really smart so maybe he thinks he has to act that way towards everyone but I'm not sure.

But then again he has a reason for all of this, At first we all thought he was just a stick in the mud so we decided to make as much noise as possible and try to mess with his schedule, boy did we regret it. You see at the time we didn't know but Logan has Autism and has made this schedule to fit all of our needs including his. so when we (i mean me, Virgil and Dee) decided to break the no being loud rule, we found out why there was a service dog in our apartment. Us ignoring his schedule, messing with his alarm clock and being extremely loud, we ended up causing him to have a really bad meltdown. That was the scariest thing I have ever seen, we saw Spot do his tasking (doing tasks to make sure their owners know they are doing a thing that could be triggered by other things. such as cratching your arm when they are anxious, their service dog will gently jump on their owner and move their hands away.) 

Anyways, when both Patton and Spot were able to get Logan to calm down and was able to move him to his room the rest of us was given a long lecture and the worst feeling of guilt any of us has ever felt, Patton explained to us why he has everything on such a tight schedule and stuff, which made us feel a lot worse. So when Logan came out of his room now calm and feeling better we all made sure to apologize for our actions and tell him that we will now follow his schedule and rules, to make him feel comfortable in his own Home, I kid you not he actually smiled!  it was totally worth seeing, and we all plan on making sure we can see it again, soon.

Logan also wanted to me to send you a note he was talking and told me to write down everything he says, so this is what he said, (or this is how our entire conversation went. ) 'Mrs. Prince I have made sure to keep Roman on a strict schedule that will allow him to focus on school, theater and still have time to write you letters, (tho I am highly impressed people still write letters, it is an art form that has been lost by many our age, I had no idea anyone has written a letter. I wonder if my mom would appreciate a letter along with our daily text messages, I could stop by the local post office and buy a packet of an assortment of postcards to send to her, maybe I should send some to my dad as well. I would have to ask Patton for his address so I can.) ME: Lo, I'm glad I gave you a great new way to talk to your family but what else would you like me to tell her? hm oh yes, apologize. please do tell her that Patton and I will make sure you are well taken care of that is all I wish to tell her.

so, that's what lo wanted me to tell you, you have no idea how hard it was to not laugh the whole time, it was the cutest thing I have ever seen!

Virgil Peterson, freshmen 19-

Next up, we have Virgil Peterson. (More like emo nightmare, but I shall spare the teasing, and name calling for right now.) the one friend who wears dark eyeshadow, black skinny and a purple jacket my nicknames basically define what he looks and how he acts. He also takes my teasing and name calling as a grain of salt but dishes it back way more then he needs too. But I suppose our playful banter goes both ways more than one. (Do you know how papa and I  go back and forth? Well, that is basically how mine and Virgil's friendship is defined. Friendly banter and such) he is basically in the middle child like myself. So it goes Patton, Logan, me. Virgil, and then dee (I will tell you about him next) and boy does he take advantage of this development! He takes up all of Patton's cuddles when we have a movie night, he's allowed to be moody whenever he wants, but god forbid any of the others be moody. (Sorry I'm getting off subject, but still, he is basically a toddler. A toddler who can use stronger language. But thankfully Patton made a swear jar for him, the bad side of the swear jar, we all are forced to use it.) So basically if he is tired and stays up past Logan's bedtime for any reason except for studying. Well normally Logan would get upset with us, but with Virgil, he just sits with him keeping him company until he either goes to bed or the sunrises.

Anyways let's ignore that whole rant and go back to talking about what Virgil actually does. Virgil is a writer and is taking creative writing courses here at the college, what he likes to write I'm not sure what he enjoys writing (he will not share any of it with me!) But whatever it is Logan seems to enjoy it as does Patton and Dee. It seems that the only ones who are not allowed to read his writing are me and spot and Spots a dog! Which I don't understand I'm not very critical about things (yes, I am critical about the live action Disney movies, but hey they better slay or go away. but that's not the point, the point is he won't let me read his writing no matter what I do, beg, grovel, nothing happens I am still kept in the dark about his writing.) But other then that Virgil also works at the theater my class uses for our performances so he's able to sneak all of us in when a new show comes on, thankfully he hasn't got caught yet so we are able to do things like that. ( I saw the cutest middle school Romeo and Juliet performance and ah, it was so cute, and wish they were doing it for another week, but sadly it was only a three day play) even if we do bicker all the time, I guess he is pretty cool not that I would tell him to his face.

Anyways I bet you're wondering how I met Virgil? Well it was through Patton, Virgil and his older Brother Devan (Dee for short) they where looking for a place to live and me Logan and pat had a spare room so we allowed them to move in, that's when we first met, and I wasn't so sure how I felt about him, I still don't but all I know is he is a little anxious at times and has nightmares and such. We found out the hard way, so whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and I see he is in the living room in the dark, I will sit on the couch  and put on a Disney movie, I will watch it until he is ready to talk about it or he relaxes enough to fall back asleep. So basically that became out routine whenever he has a bad night and his brother isn't awake or there to help him through the stress, and anxiety of the dream or the day he had.

He also wanted me to tell you that he is also excited to come to visit you mainly because I've talked about how good your food is, but is a little nervous about flying to a new place, he nor his brother have ever been too. Which I replied with your farm is peaceful and the fresh air would be good for him. He agreed he would like to try and come, so we may just do that, but by driving so none of us feel nervous about flying. Which means we will have five people plus a dog in the car for a long time, don't want to think about the hours we will spend in the car, but I will keep my mind on the fact that we will be together, soon! 

Devan (Dee) Peterson, senior in highschool 18-

 Now I do not know much about Dee, all I know is that he is Virgil's younger brother, he is in design classes to make clothing and such (he makes amazing clothing for Virgil and I am completely jealous of because  they look absolutely fabulous), not to mention he has a birthmark that goes over the left side of his face and is also is mute? (it's more of a question because Virgil says he does talk but then he doesn't, Logan said it sounds like he has selective muteness which makes sense. because he is very quiet and uses sign language mostly but we don't want to questions him about it and make him uncomfortable.) He really doesn't like to be around us unless Virgil is around. But even then he sticks to cuddling his sweet little snake Sweetpea finding comfort in her and spot. all and all He's a really quiet kid. (although Virgil warned us that once Dee gets comfortable with us, he will start to become very mischievous and play pranks on us, but for now, he will stay quiet and do his own thing.)

I also only know from Virgil That Dee is very thankful that you are allowing him to bring Sweetpea with us when we come to visit. He told me that his brother was really worried he wouldn't be allowed to bring her. But I told him that you wouldn't mind so your answer in the last letter really took away a lot of anxiety for them. Virgil did want me to tell you that if you feel uncomfortable with him and dee staying in the living room were sweetpea will be sleeping with him, just let him know and they will try and find a better spot for her. which I replied you raised four boys plus me you have seen the worst of things. but I told them I would tell you, so here we are.

well, Abuela, this is all I have to tell you so far in this letter, school is great, my roommates mates are great, life is all in all great, the only thing not great is homesick I am. I miss you and papa so much words can not describe how much I miss both of you. If I'm being honest the way everyone is talking about their families makes me feel blessed for my big happy family. like take Patton and Logan, for example, Patton said this is the first time Logan hasn't been away from From their mom this long since he was little, Pat even said he didn't want to see their dad alone anymore like ever, but he didn't go into details as in why all I know is if we mention it to Logan he won't be happy with any of us. anyways, I hope this letter finds you in good health, please tell papa that I love him, and of course I love you! I shall call you as soon as I can Abuela, I love you and can't wait to see you soon.

sincerely your  príncipe valiente Roman

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[sweetandsavageautistic]

(ReaderXLuna)

You and Luna have been dating for sometime. You’re also both magic AND both of you are autistic.

Luna Lovegood had never heard of Autism $peaks or TACA until you brought them up to her. You told her how terrible they are and how they never listen to autistic people, how they both look for cures, one discreetly, the other overtly. But she had yet to see them in action.

It’s summer, and you and Luna are both on holiday from Hogwarts. You’re both on a walk in the park, holding hands if you feel comfortable, taking in the serenity, when you hear it; screaming, shouting, rioting. You turn to see a crowd of people, some in blue clothes, some holding signs. They’re all facing a stage with a team of people with shirts, some blue, some with puzzle pieces, and some with blue puzzle pieces. And they’re saying just the nastiest things.

“Autism took away my son!” “I got my kid vaccinated, and now they won’t tell me they love me.” “My child embarrasses me in public!” “I’m getting it sterilized!” “We need a cure for this monster!” “I wish my kid had never been born!”

You feel your eyes begin to water. You clench your fists, nearly digging your fingernails into them. You start to shake and tremble. These people are attacking who you and your girlfriend are. And not just them. You notice others, playing with fidgets, covering their ears, trying to get away. They look noticeably distressed, and yet no one seems to care. These parents are attacking who their own children are.

You look over at Luna. She doesn’t really seem angry or distressed. She looks more.....amused than anything else. She tilts her head and then skips on up to the podium. She pushes her way past the people on stage, grabs a stepstool, puts it by the podium, stands on it, and then just stares at the crowd.

It takes them a few minutes before they notice her, but the crowd soon begins to gradually quiet down as they just stare at this girl that’s not trying to attack them, not trying to pacify them, not really giving them much of anything.

After a few moments of quiet, for which the other autistic people are clearly relieved, a mom speaks up.

“Get off the stage!”

Luna doesn’t get angry. She just stares before speaking into the mic.

“Why do you shout and scream?” she asks, out of genuine curiosity, in her soft, gentle voice, as she mindlessly twirls a strand of her hair on her finger. “What is there to be angry about?”

“Autism took away our children!” someone yells.

Luna blinks.

“Is your child missing?”

“No,” they say confused before pointing to a girl who looked to be no more than seventeen. “They’re right here.”

“Then autism couldn’t have taken them away,” she points out.

“You don’t understand,” yells another parents. “My child is not itself.”

“It’s quite interesting you keep referring to your child as an it,” Luna remarks bemused before looking at the person next to the angry parent. “Excuse me. Do you go by he, she, them, ze?”

“It can’t talk,” the parent sneers.

“Do you go by he, she, them, ze?” Luna repeats to the person.

“Why are you ignoring me?” the parent snaps. “I am my child’s voice.”

Luna looks at the person; they look to be eighteen or nineteen.

“But they don’t look like a child.”

“But it’s got the mind of a toddler!”

“Oh, did you implant a toddler’s mind inside of them?”

“No, but--”

“Then how can they have the mind of a toddler?”

“Who do you think you are anyway?” snaps a 3rd parent. “Telling us how to fix our children.”

“I don’t recall ever telling you to fix them. I was simply asking questions. Now who was the one talking about vaccines? I’d like to ask you some things.”

Confused a fourth parent raises their hand.

“Did they create a chemical version of autism and inject it into your child?”

“No, it was getting a flu vaccine.”

“I see. Now what did you mean your child won’t tell you they love you?”

“It never says ‘I love you, mommy’ to me now.”

“Do they smile at you?”

“Well, sometimes.”

“Do they stim around you?”

“Is that what that horrible hand-flapping thing is?”

“Perhaps that’s their way of telling you they love you.”

“But they never SAY it, so what does it matter?”

“There ARE other ways that someone can show that they love you, you know,” Luna points out, matter-of-factly. “They don’t NEED to speak for that. And speaking of, why do you insist on speaking for them? I’m sure quite a few of them can communicate for themselves.”

“But it can’t talk!” says the first parent.

“There ARE other ways of communicating. You don’t need to be able to talk with your mouth to communicate. Also a lot of these autistic people look rather uncomfortable, especially with all of the noise you’re making.”

“Get off of your high horse and stop telling us how to fix our children. You don’t know what it’s like for us. You’re nothing like them.”

“Is that so?” Luna asks, raising her voice; now it’s very apparent that she’s angry, but she still sounds absolutely adorable. “I had no idea you could detect that someone was autistic or not. If you can, your skills need improving because I AM, in fact, autistic. I’m much more like these lovely people than you ever will be. And it’s not at all kind of you to refer to these lovely people as it, infantilize them, call them burdens, talk over them, wish them gone, and think they need fixing. “Look at that beautiful girl down in front. She’s clearly distressed by being around so many people--you let go of her right now! She’s trying to stim to calm herself! And that handsome man in the back is about to have a meltdown. But all you care about is “fixing” them, in spite of the fact that they don’t need fixing. I feel sorry for you if all you see is the negatives because you’ll miss all of the positives they’re trying to show you.”

The parents are now stunned. Luna jumps from the stage and stands next to you.

“Would all of the autistic people please follow me and my love? I’m sure we can find somewhere better to be than around people who don’t want to take the time to see what you have to offer the world.”

All of the autistics break free and join you two. You and Luna cast petrifying spells on the parents and apparate the group to the Hogwarts grounds. You contact McGonagall and inform her of the situation. She agrees to let them stay.

Red banners decorate the castle when you arrive and the autistic people go where they wish. Some autistics try to decode the barrel pattern for the Hufflepuff common room entrance; if they get it wrong, though, they don’t get soaked in vinegar, in case of sensory overload.

Some of them take refuge in the library, where there are books on nearly every subject imaginable. Some of the ghosts hover around them, listening to them passion rant about their special interests as they read them. Hermione, who is also autistic, even joins them, and some of them listen to her talk about magic and the history behind it.

Some of them take to the Ravenclaw tower, where they work together to answer the riddles the door gives. They all come across multiple answers that make sense.

Some of them go down to Hogsmeade, where the shops have been opened just for them for a time.

If any of them get sensory overload, they go into the garden or visit Hagrid to pet Fang in order to calm themselves. Or they’re directed to the Room of Requirement. But the best part comes from many of them discovering that they’re actually wizards and witches.

One girl, Hailey, who is nonverbal, ends up mastering silent incantations within a few hours and, with encouragement, even perfects a spell that helps her to communicate her thoughts through her new wand.

“My mum always talked over me and said that I was stupid,” she tells you two through her wand. “But I don’t see how I’m stupid if I found a way to communicate by myself.”

A boy, Scott, who also has had suicidal thoughts, perfects his patronus within a few hours, which turns out to be a thestral.

“My parents always said they wished I was never born,” he cries joyfully. “That I would never amount to anything. But look at me now!”

And because they were bullied a lot, they are very kind and considerate to the house elves working there. “I don’t know how you do it,” you tell Luna as the fun goes on.

“Sometimes,” she says. “Neither do I, but I do.”

[therealmaggiemedia]

The Maggie Simpson Show E1913 Maggie’s Birthday Party at Chuck-Up-Cheese Rated 15 warning contains mild nudity if you are  easily offended please do not read

INT, MAGGIE’S BEDROOM-DAY

Maggie has just got up she is wearing her pink Pajamas and looking at herself in the mirror.

MAGGIE

Hello, welcome to the Maggie Simpson Show, today is a very special day you want to know what it is?

Maggie gets a party noise maker and blows it.

MAGGIE

That’s right, Happy Birthday to me, I am six years old a big number I’m going to take a shower while I do that why don’t you go and see what the others are up to!

In the simpsons kitchen Marge is making Maggie a special breakfast since it is her birthday.

HOMER

Why the hell does she get to have as special breakfast all I get is pancakes!

MARGE

You wanted pancakes!

HOMER

(ANNOYED GRUNT)

Then Maggie enters the room and takes her place at the table she is now wearing her normal clothes Marge gives her a special breakfast.

MARGE

A Special breakfast for the birthday girl!

MAGGIE

Thanks Mom!

LISA

Happy Birthday Maggie!, and here is a card!

Maggie opens it and she sees Lisa has gives her five Dollars.

MAGGIE

Thank you Lisa!

Bart gives her his card.

BART

Happy Birthday Mags!

She opens the card and it says your my sister and I love you from Bart

MAGGIE

Thanks Bart!

HOMER

and tonight we will be taking Maggie somewhere special!

MAGGIE

Cool!, can’t wait till I come home from school!

EXT, PLAYGROUND-DAY

Maggie is accepting birthday cards from her friends when Joanne walks up to her.

JOANNE

Happy Birthday Maggie!

She gives her a card she opens it and its a homemade card.

JOANNE

I made this for you!

MAGGIE

Thanks Joanne, its really um nice!

JOANNE

Glad you like it I spent hours making that just for you I missed TV time and everything, oh well see you later Maggie!

Joanne walks away from them but Maggie doesn’t like the card Joanne made.

MAGGIE

This card stinks you guys but I can’t tell Joanne that it will make her cry and I don’t want to do that!

LILLY

Yeah, I totally understand that Maggie!

JUDITH

So do I!

SKYE

If someone said to me Skye!, I hate that card you made I’d just cry and cry and cry till I couldn’t cry anymore!

MAGGIE

Skye, I love your card!

SKYE

Thank you Maggie!

MAGGIE

There is a surprise party somewhere tonight and your all invited!

In the kindergarten Mr Johnson is telling them about a classroom party for Maggie

JOHNSON

And since it is Maggie’s birthday I’ll go to the store and buy a cake and some party food but for now I think we should do what Maggie wants to do!

LILLY

This isn’t going to involve paint is it?

Maggie looks at Lilly smiles

LILLY

Oh for godsake!

In the painting area later the kids are now barefoot accept for Lilly they are playing in the paint and are enjoying.

SKYE

Don’t like this, don’t like this, don’t like this!

MAGGIE

Oh come on Skye its fun!

SKYE

If you say so Maggie!

EMMA

I do this for you Maggie, but I despise this activity!

LILLY

Not mine either but I’m not taking off my socks no way!

SKYE

I can understand why it is kind of sticky!

Skye looks at her own feet.

SKYE

Eww!

FADE TO LATER IN THE KINDERGARTEN

The Kids are now wearing their shoes and socks again and are sitting at a table that is decorated for a party Mr Johnson has put a cake on the table with six candles and a buffet of party food at the other side of the classroom.

JOHNSON

I think now we should sing Happy Birthday to Maggie but I’ll light the candles first!

Mr Johnson lights the candles Gerald makes a rude comment about Maggie

GERALD

Do we have to sing to her?

SKYE

I’m going to sing even though I have been told I sound like a cat on a hot tin roof!

JOHNSON

After three one two three!

They all sing happy birthday to Maggie then they all cheer Maggie blows out the candles then Principal Skinner walks in the room.

SKINNER

Eric!, what is going on in here?

JOHNSON

Seymour!, Its Maggie Simpson’s birthday so I decided to have a classroom party for her!

GERALD

Just remembered it is my birthday too you see me and Maggie were born on the same day we’re not twins or anything we just share a birthday!

MAGGIE

Oh Yeah, Happy Birthday Gerald!

SKINNER

Eric, the point is no parties in the classroom without permission from me!

He leaves the room.

JOHNSON

Lets continue are party!

MAGGIE

But principal Skinner said we couldn’t have a party!

JOHNSON

One thing I don’t do is let people tell me what I can have and what I can’t have!

MAGGIE

You know what Mr Johnson, I think I like you!

Mr Johnson smiles at Maggie

later that evening The Simpsons are in Homer’s car he is driving them to Maggie’s surprise party Maggie is wearing a blindfold so she can’t see where they are.

MAGGIE

Anyone know where we’re going?

HOMER

All will be revealed sweetie!

Then they arrive and Homer knocks a car out of the handicapped space.

LISA

Dad!, that was the handicapped space!

HOMER

Anyway!, here we are!

Maggie takes off her blindfold and she sees Homer has taken her to Chuck-Up-Cheese!

MAGGIE

Wow Dad!, Chuck-Up-Cheese!

HOMER

Well, its your Day sweetie Happy birthday!

Inside Chuck-Up-Cheese a mouse greats them.

MOUSE

Welcome to Chuck-up-cheese!, my name is chuck I hope you enjoy your time with us!

MAGGIE

Thank you Chuck!

MOUSE

Let me show you to your table!

They are seated at their table and Chuck brings their food.

CHUCK

Here you go!

MAGGIE

Thank you Chuck!

Maggie’s friends are sitting at the same table including Joanne

MAGGIE

Any of you guys want to play in the ballpool?

LILLY

Isn’t that the thing where you can lose your socks?

MAGGIE

It can happen!, come on lets have fun!

They arrive at the ballpool Maggie sees a sign that says Due to costumers losing their socks in the ballpool please remove your socks before getting in signed Chuck the mouse!

LILLY

If I have to do that I’m not doing the ballpool!

SKYE

Lilly!, you have to rules are rules!

LILLY

Alright!, Alright!, but I don’t like doing this!

They all remove their shoes and socks and get in the ballpool.

MAGGIE

WOO-HOO!, this is fun, uh oh!

Maggie sinks to the bottom.

MAGGIE

Too Many balls!, too many Balls!, too many!

She comes up gasping for air

MAGGIE

Balls!

A woman heard Maggie say balls and gets the wrong idea about it.

WOMAN

Well, how rude!

Back at the table and her friends are now wearing shoes and socks again and now having the party with Chuck the mouse.

CHUCK

Okay, time for the show!

They all face the stage a mouse walks over to Maggie

MOUSE

I hear its someone’s birthday today!

MAGGIE

Yes, its mine!

MOUSE

Come on join us on the stage and we’ll sing the birthday song!

Maggie gets on stage and the mouse makes her sit in a chair.

MOUSE

Okay, everyone lets sing the birthday song!, its your birthday today and your celebrating it here at Chuck-up Cheese!

They all cheer Maggie stands up grabs the microphone and gets carried away.

MOUSE

Oh I almost forgot!

He gets a cream cake and pushes it in Maggie’s face.

MOUSE

Happy Birthday!

Everyone laughs at Maggie but Maggie is not laughing she very angry.

She turns to the mouse and kicks him where you shouldn’t kick.

MAGGIE

Serves you right Mr Mouse, everyone lets riot!

All the kids riot and tear the place apart then Chef Wiggum lou and Eddie turn up.

WIGGIUM

Alright men, sort out the kids!

LOU

Right chief!

They arrest Maggie for causing the riot.

MAGGIE

Hey, its my birthday you know!

WIGGIUM

You’re under arrest Simpson!, you can spend the remainder of your birthday in a cell!

INT, SPRINGFIELD COURT-DAY

Maggie is standing in front of Judge Harm and Judge Harm is not very happy with Maggie

MAGGIE

Let me just say I am really sorry!

HARM

People usually are when they come in front of me, Causing a riot at Chuck-Up-Cheese?

MAGGIE

That mouse pied me in the face what do you expect me to do?

HARM

You should have gone along with the fun!

MAGGIE

I was going along with the fun!, it stopped being fun when I got pied in the face I hate getting pied in the face!

Maggie has a meltdown right there Judge Harm doesn’t understand what she is seeing so she holds Maggie in contempt

HARM

Miss Simpson!, for your outburst I hold you in contempt!

MAGGIE

Shut up!

In the detention cells Maggie is in a cell alone but Maggie doesn’t care the court worker comes up to her.

MAN

You know all you have to do is apologize to the judge!

Maggie gives him a look.

MAN

But that’s not for everybody, just think about what I said!

Maggie sits in her cell and thinks.

MAGGIE

Hmm, I was kind of rude to the judge so maybe I should apologize!

Back in the courtroom Maggie is standing in front of the Judge.

MAGGIE

Judge Harm!, I am really sorry for getting all angry I do have autism!

HARM

I guess I can let you off the hook, but the Chuck-up-cheese incident I cannot let you off Maggie Simpson!, I sentence you to community service!

MAGGIE

this community service where will it be?

INT, SPRINGFIELD RETIREMENT CASTLE-DAY

Maggie is talking to her grandpa in his room.

ABE

and then I shot the germans that very night!

MAGGIE

During WW2 right?

ABE

Sure Sweetheart!, anyway we had just shot some Germans but Adolf Hitler was still at large and we never saw where he went to!

MAGGIE

Good story Grandpa but right now I need the bathroom!

Maggie exits the room a few minutes later she returned to her grandpa.

ABE

Maggie!, did you find the bathroom okay?

MAGGIE

Yes thank you Grandpa do we get lunch around here?

ABE

Sure but its all mush!

MAGGIE

Eww!, that sounds disgusting, I’ll take you to a place that serves good food!

ABE

I don’t think I’m allowed to leave the home!

MAGGIE

Come on Grandpa you’ll love it!

She grabs his hand and drags him along with her.

INT, KEN’S CHICKEN-DAY

Maggie and Abe are making their orders on the machine Maggie is showing Abe how to do it.

MAGGIE

you select your order on here then you pay with your card like this!

Maggie puts her card on the machine and she waits for her order.

FADE TO LATER IN KEN’S CHICKEN

Maggie and Abe are eating what they have ordered and Abe likes it.

ABE

This is a lot better then what we get in the home!

MAGGIE

Told you you’d like it!

ABE

Well you helped me and for that I want to get you something and you are my granddaughter as well!

MAGGIE

Well I could do with some more soda!

ABE

Okay Sweetie!

He brings her soda to the table but Abe trips and spills it all over Maggie, Maggie is wet from head to toe Maggie is not happy she gets very Angry and has a massive Meltdown.

MAGGIE

(MELTDOWN) Ahhhh you horrible old man you wet my clothes!

Back at thew home

Maggie is now wearing a towel because her clothes are wet.

ABE

Maggie, I’m sorry I wet your clothes!

MAGGIE

Not as sorry as I am, don’t talk to me!

Maggie turns her back on Abe.

ABE

Maggie!

MAGGIE

I said don’t talk to me I’m waiting for my Dad to pick me up!

INT, THE SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM-DAY

Maggie is sitting on the couch now wearing her normal clothes then Homer gives her a package addressed to her.

HOMER

Maggie, this just came in the mail for you!

She takes the package from Homer opens it inside is a Zimz 4 gift card with a letter, Maggie reads the letter screws it up and throws it in the waste paper basket.

MAGGIE

I’ll take the game but I’m not forgiving the old bastard!

HOMER

Why what did he do?

MAGGIE

(ANGRY) What did he do?, What did he do?, he only spilled soda all over me but he did let me have a shower in the home so wasn’t all bad I guess!

HOMER

So you forgive him?

MAGGIE

No, but I’ll think about it!

She gets up from the couch and goes upstairs to her room then Lisa enters the room she sits next to Homer on the couch.

LISA

Do you want me to have a word with her Dad?

HOMER

Yeah okay but don’t let her know you’re doing it for me!

In Maggie’s bedroom Maggie is playing her game When Lisa enters the room.

LISA

Maggie, can I talk to you for a minute?

Maggie gets up from her chair and walks towards Lisa

LISA

Dad told me all about the problem with grandpa I know he spilled soda on you he is trying to make it up to you that’s why he bought you this game and he doesn’t have much left time left for this world!

MAGGIE

Alright, I’ll go to the home and make up with him!

Lisa smiles at Maggie

INT, SPRINGFIELD RETIREMENT CASTLE-EVENING

Maggie is asking the nurse where her grandpa is

MAGGIE

Hi, have you seen my grandpa Abe Simpson!

NURSE

Yeah I think he’s in the TV Room I’ll take you to him!

In the TV room Maggie is standing in front of her Grandpa

MAGGIE

Grandpa, its me Maggie!

ABE

Hi Sweetie you’ve come to see you’re old grandpa!

MAGGIE

Yes, I do forgive you for spilling soda on me and I’m sorry for getting really mad I just can’t help that due to my autism and I bought you a box of your favorite candy old Toffee!

Abe stands up and they both hug

ABE

Oh not so rough my bones are weak!

MAGGIE

Sorry Grandpa!

ABE

You can stay the night if you want I’ll call that father of yours and tell him your staying here tonight!

MAGGIE

Won’t the nurses mind me staying here?

ABE

I don’t care what some snooty nurse says, do what your told take  your medication!

MAGGIE

Well that’s okay then!, but I don’t have my pajamas!

ABE

Pajamas?, when I was your age we slept in our underwear no pajamas in my day dag nabbit!

MAGGIE

Well I’ve always fancied sleeping naked and I do when my Dad isn’t looking!

ABE

Okay Maggie I’ll take you up to the room and I’ll call your Dad from there!

Abe takes Maggie up to his room, once there Maggie sees only one bed.

MAGGIE

Grandpa! There is only one bed!

ABE

I’ll give you a blanket and a pillow and you can sleep on the floor best I can offer you!

MAGGIE

Guess it will have to do, well I’m off for a shower where’s your bathroom?

Abe takes her to it by opening a door.

ABE

There’s soap and a towel in there enjoy your shower!

Maggie goes in and closes the door then Abe picks up a very old phone and calls Homer

ABE

Homer, Maggie is staying with me tonight I know you want here home but she wants to stay the night with her old grandpa yes I’ll bring her round in the morning goodnight!

Then Maggie comes out of the bathroom carrying her clothes and wearing a towel.

ABE

Hey sweetie, do you feel better now after your shower?

MAGGIE

Yes thank you Grandpa!

ABE

you want to watch TV?

MAGGIE

Sure!

He turns it on but it doesn’t work.

ABE

(ANGRY) Dag Nabbit!

MAGGIE

Nevermind Grandpa we can just talk!

ABE

Alright!, I’ll tell you another war story during WW2-

MAGGIE

please Grandpa no more war stories, I’ll tell you about my day at school!

Maggie tells him about her day at school.

FADE TO LATER

MAGGIE

And that was my day at school!

She sees Abe is asleep in the chair.

MAGGIE

Well time for bed then!

She sees that there is no blanket or pillow on the floor

MAGGIE

Well I’ll have to sleep in Grandpa’s bed he won’t mind!

Maggie stands at the bed with her back to the camera she takes off her towel and gets in bed.

MAGGIE

Ah time for sleep!

She turns out the light

the next morning Maggie is still asleep in Abe’s bed Abe has gone down for breakfast  he brings some up for Maggie and wakes her up.

ABE

Here you go sweetie, Breakfast!

Maggie wakes up

MAGGIE

Thanks Grandpa!

Maggie sits up in bed and eats her breakfast.

Then a nurse comes in

NURSE

Mr Simpson!, we don’t allow visitors to stay the night she has to leave!

ABE

She’s going back to her dad’s today!

NURSE

Well that’s okay then!

She leaves the room.

MAGGIE

Think I’d better take a shower after breakfast!

ABE

Alright!

Maggie finishes her breakfast gets out of bed and doesn’t realize she’s naked and Abe sees all.

ABE

(SPLUTTERS) Put on a towel Maggie!, we don’t want to see that!

MAGGIE

Oh!, sorry grandpa!

Maggie grabs her towel and puts round her then she goes in the bathroom.

ABE

Damn little ingrate!

INT, MAGGIE’S BEDROOM-NIGHT

Maggie is sitting on her bed wearing her Pajamas she is talking to the viewers watching.

MAGGIE

Hello Again, in this weeks episode I had a birthday party at Chuck up cheese I got carried away and lost it with a mouse who pied me in the face and for that I am really sorry viewers, see you next time!

FADE TO CREDITS

[hiddenblog609]

i was just going to rant about this to someone but im gonna rant here because this has been pissing me off for a while:

parents of autistic children are allowed to struggle with parenting an autistic child. they are allowed to have stress related to their childrens autism, and honestly, it’s an honest to god struggle sometimes to parent an autistic child.

as an autistic person who’s VERY close with my mother, i’m speaking from experience when i say that my mom has had an immensely hard time parenting four children, two of which are on the spectrum.

the biggest differential i think tumblr forgets to make sometimes in these posts is that Autism Moms (the bad ones) are moms who think their life is so hard because their kid is autistic, and tend to beg for sympathy while also (most likely) psychologically or even physically abusing their autistic children on the down low.

mothers of autistic children who struggle with being mothers of autistic children are not the enemy. my mother, for instance, isn’t ashamed or stressed that her children are autistic, it doesn’t bother her at all, but what bothers her is the idea that we could be treated differently (she often points out that kids are cruel and could easily make fun of or take advantage of my little brother without him ever knowing.) it’s also hard to handle meltdowns!!! from an outside perspective, they are tantrums! and are hard to manage! as a parent!

this doesn’t excuse any abusive behavior, but we should start acknowledging that it is hard to raise a child who’s on the spectrum, and moms aren’t demons for having trouble.

[rexhc]

rosebuzz kids

been meaning to make this post for a while but rosa and buzz have too many kids (SIX) lol. but they live on a farm (which i will post about eventually) outside of houston so they have plenty of room.

jacob abraham “jake” goldman

born september 15, 2018

his biological mother is polly bernhardt, but rosa adopts him when he’s seven and has been basically raising him since before he was five

guitar and piano prodigy. has been obsessed with music since buzz gave him his ukelele as a little kid.

total metal head. all his sisters hate it except sil.

he’s in a metal band for a long time. rosa’s very into it (in a really nerdy mom way) and goes to almost every show he plays in the city. she always wears a bunch of their merch and calls herself their “roadie” (which jake hates). buzz comes sometimes but it can be too loud for him to handle. jake understands.

teaches guitar and piano lessons for a living when he grows up. he’s classically trained and goes to berklee after high school.

he plays drums in school band in middle school and is on the drum line for three years in high school. also plays bass for the jazz band.

started skateboarding when he was six and when they leave the city for the country, rosa designs him a mini ramp on their land since the roads are mostly gravel or dirt.

hates having his hair short

such a good big brother. older than the rest by eight years but he takes his role as a big bro very seriously and looks after his little sisters and brother. he never complains when he has to babysit when he’s older.

he doesn’t mind working on the farm but he’s not into it like his dad is. but when he’s eighteen, buzz shows him the greenhouse where he grows medical marijuana for local dispensaries - which had always been strictly off limits for the kids. it’s the first time jake thinks of agriculture as fun.

very quiet and introspective. most of his focus is spent on his music. frequently referred to as antisocial and was teased a lot as a kid.

lilia hannah “lily” goldman 

born may 21, 2026

very skilled artist. loves drawing and painting. she draws on the walls a lot as a little kid and her parents never ever paint over her drawings. they love to talk about her masterpieces.

could be found every morning before anyone else woke up watching cartoons in the living room. loved cartoons so much.

loves “old” (old in the 2030s) cartoons her parents show her. she dresses as finn the human for halloween four years in a row. 

draws cartoons all the time about her family. which her dad loves so much and always hangs on the fridge.

the first one she does is of buzz with a beard of bees when she’s three and he keeps it in his wallet forever

fridge features include grumpy old man jake and rosa as a superhero called supermama who appears multiple times 

becomes an animator when she grows up

very bubbly and optimistic, excited about everything but also very bashful and is constantly embarrassed by her family

to be fair she’s very awkward and usually embarrasses herself more than her family does

hates disappointing people and always takes too much on her plate to make everyone happy

is constantly way too hard on herself and gets stressed out very easily

she gets this from her mother, who can always tell when lily gets in that mood and tears her away from her homework to watch animated movies and decompress

sophia demetria goldman

born november 4, 2027

fraternal twin of silvia

they couldn’t be more different and they aren’t that close but sophia always stands up for sil no matter what.

total daddy’s girl. loves working in the fields with him more than anything. they talk for hours.

they spend so much time gossiping. buzz knows so much about the social hierarchy of every class sophia is in. he knows about every snotnose kid who was mean to his daughter and gives them dirty looks when he drops the kids off or sees them at birthday parties. 

she tells buzz basically everything about her life. they’re super close.

when she goes to college she makes buzz get whatever device they use in 2046 so they can message all the time. he iris messages her every time anyways.

goes to the farmer’s market with buzz every weekend and is always a smash hit with the customers. she knows how to play up her cuteness.

she’s just like the nicest, sweetest, most well-behaved kid. buzz and rosa have no clue how it happened.

loves flowers and gardening. they didn’t have a flower garden before sophia expressed interest, but buzz set it up just for her. she spends so much of her free time there. even if she’s not gardening, she has a hammock set up where she’ll do her homework or hang out.

ridiculously caring and selfless. 

the sweetest nicest bean ever. would not hurt a fly.

so smart. not just in school but rosa swears she got 100% of the athena wisdom gene. she gives amazing advice. 

ends up becoming a therapist when she grows up. and her home garden is magnificent.

silvia atenea “sil” goldman

born november 4, 2027

fraternal twin of sophia

she prefers “sil” to silvia

got buzz’s crazy curls

loves loves loves animals, bugs, and biology. has to be told several times by her parents to stop hanging out with wild animals on the farm and still doesn’t really listen.

she sneaks insects inside that end up escaping and it’s no fun for anyone. she did this with a snake once and got grounded for a month. never again.

whatever it is it usually ends up in sophia’s bed because they share a bunkbed. sophia has a complete meltdown every single time.

talks to caterpillars and chases butterflies when she’s supposed to be picking vegetables. also loves playing in the dirt as a kid.

seriously buzz and rosa have to wash her like three times a day because she keeps coming back inside covered in mud

reads all the time, mostly nonfiction books about animals. 

she enthusiastically shows pages about inchworm digestion to sophia, who screeches immediately

doesn’t get along great with her sisters but is super close with jake (also adam to an extent because they’re both science geeks). they’re both kind of social outcasts in school so he gets her really well even though he’s nine years older.

jake shows sil metal and she’s all about it

when she’s 10-11 and he’s 19-20 jake takes her to a couple of his shows and she has the time of her life.

on the spectrum. she’s has high-functioning autism. she mostly just doesn’t look people in the eye and when someone is saying something she’s not interested in she tends to tune them out completely.

tomboy/gender non-conforming. doesn’t care about gender norms.

not very interested in other people or in making friends. she has her own thing going on instead.

can be mean but it’s not on purpose

ends up becoming a wildlife biologist when she grows up. plays the doctor card nonstop as soon as she gets her phd. even her nieces and nephews call her “dr. auntie sil”

amalia michelle goldman

born july 12, 2029

her family often calls her ‘mali/molly’ but she prefers amalia

the most dramatic of the six kiddos because there’s too many of them and it’s really hard to get attention. she’s the kid who always has to cause a scene.

car rides are a nightmare. “mama! adam keeps poking me! tell him to stop right now!” “no i’m not! tattle!” “mama if adam keeps poking me i’m going to open the door and get out on the street and probably die!”

every time she gets sick as a kid she acts as if she’s going to die and writes a will where she leaves her jerk siblings nothing because they’re jerks who suck 

had a grudge against adam until he was like six because he usurped her as the baby of the family.

there’s an infamous family video of a five year old amalia pushing a crying two year old adam off his tricycle and it gets played at every hannukah and christmas.

somehow around the time they’re about 7/9 they actually become friends

your typical try hard nerd. very much like her mom. gets over-competitive about everything, total know it all, tries to take control of any room she’s in

president of like every nerdy club in high school

she loves using difficult vocabulary. everybody else hates it.

amalia and rosa have been prohibited from being on the same team or going 1v1 on family game night because it gets too intense too fast and then family game night is cancelled

consistently has the cleanest bedroom in the house

very logical and efficient. comes up with her own systems so she can be the best at everything.

becomes an english teacher. all her siblings say they feel bad for her students. she eventually becomes a principal. they say the same thing about the entire school.

adam emiliano goldman

born february 14, 2032

total mama’s boy. loves his mom and hangs out with her all the time. even in his teens. he doesn’t care what anyone says about that.

she calls him lovebug because he was born on valentines day

very smart, witty, and energetic

really a heartbreaker tbh

naturally gets attention by just who he is as a person

this enrages amalia

he loves school but always gets sent to the office for arguing with teachers. this happens throughout his entire schooling from kindergarten to senior year

rosa is so proud every time

very into his video games. and this is in the future so i bet it’s super cool and VR by then.

weirdly good at rapping and most of the family’s kinda unsure how they feel about this

gets into 90s east coast rap and buzz tell him he was there he was a toddler but he was there

he listens to so much old school rap it really amps him up

isn’t intimidated by anyone. constantly stands up to bullies no matter who they’re targeting.

he get’s buzz’s height - ends up being even taller at 6′4″ - and gets pretty good at basketball. he even goes to college on a basketball scholarship.

buzz hangs a hoop in the driveway and they play so much

buzz sees him playing basketball on tv for the first time and cries real dad tears

science nerd - loves chemistry specifically

becomes a research chemist

[star-shuttle-scout]

Okay so now I have only seen a few people talk about this. I’ve seen these sort of headcanons taken as controversial, some people hate them, others are indifferent, and some support them. But I myself, support these headcanons because seeing yourself in characters is important and representation of things like this is scarce. I just don’t understand the hatred towards it when there’s nothing wrong with it. Today I am going to talk about Jonathan Byers and the possibility of him having a form of Autism.  Now if you don’t want to see this and you want to yell at me then just scroll away. This is just my opinion, I’m not trying to start a fight, so just chill. For the rest of you that want to hear, let’s get started!

I just want to start by saying I’m no expert on this subject. I’m not expecting this to be canon or whatever, and none of these are solid proof that Jonathan has autism. Not every autistic person has the same traits, they differ from person to person. It’s just something that’s been in my mind for a while and I figured that maybe some people could see this and be like “Hey I noticed that too!” 1.) Jonathan shows a very huge interest in both music and photography. A lot of teens in the ‘80s liked music, it’s a common thing. But Jonathan carries his camera around quite a lot, he uses it as a coping mechanism, a sort of bridge between himself and the world around him.  It could be surmised that his special interest is photography, it’s something he really likes and if he so pleased he could probably tell you a lot about it. He takes his camera everywhere, even to look for his missing brother. He takes pictures of the ground, as if the results might show him some sort of answer.  2.) The way he talks about people and pictures. Jonathan talks about the world as if he’s on the outside looking in, as if he’s an entirely different entity compared to everyone else. He discusses how he’d rather ‘observe’ people rather than talk to them. He understands this is strange, he’s been made very aware of that because of the way people act around him.  He says that “Sometimes, people don’t say what they’re really thinking.” and according to Jonathan if you ‘capture the right moment’ it will explain a person somehow. This observation in and of itself is interesting, because sometimes autistic people have problems interacting with others because they are very literal and they don’t quite like or understand that the people around them don’t always mean what they say. Of course, Jonathan shows an understanding and he too expresses an affinity for sarcasm... So he does understand some forms of spoken language, but he doesn’t like that people aren’t honest with him. It frustrates him that people don’t speak their minds, which can be especially taxing when you’re someone like Jonathan who seemingly is picked on quite often. He doesn’t trust people to mean what they say because perhaps he’s had experiences in which he thought people were being kind to him when in reality they were making fun of him. (I think we’ve all experienced that at one point or another). 3.) He takes pictures of the teens at Steve’s house, and of course that’s a creepy scene... But did you know that sometimes people with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) cross over lines and boundaries because they have a hard time comprehending what is ‘socially acceptable’? It doesn’t excuse his actions, he even acknowledges this later and apologizes. He took pictures of a girl getting undressed, let’s be real. But it could show why he did it, instead of just ‘he’s a creepy guy’. When Nicole catches him, he seems embarrassed or startled that she’s seen them. By this point, perhaps he’s had time to examine his actions and realizes that he’s done something wrong. He’s living in a society he doesn’t seem to comprehend, but he has to know some of the rules by now. However, stumbling upon kids partying while taking pictures in the woods isn’t really in the society handbook he’s been handed, in the moment, he just did it. Later on, he probably had time to examine his actions and regretted them. Honestly he was punished for it pretty justly in the end. 4.) When his camera is broken. Steve comments that Jonathan knows he did something wrong but it’s just ‘hardwired’ into him and that they have to take away his ‘toy’. Jonathan immediately goes from passive and quiet to frantic and ready to step in, he pleads with Steve. The camera obviously means a lot to him, whether it was a present or something he worked hard for. But remember, it’s also his connection to the world around him. It helps him interpret the way people work, helps him cope with reality. His bridge is broken, and he’s absolutely devastated. He falls completely silent, and when he spots Nancy still looking at him he opens his mouth, as if to speak but he says nothing. Some might say this looks like an episode in which he’s gone nonverbal due to stress. 5.) This one is a little weak, but I don’t care. Jonathan has a soft voice, he talks quietly and often stammers and stutters as he speaks. He mumbles a lot, and has a flat tone most of the time. This is another trait common with ASD, especially people with Asperger’s and such.  Volume control is difficult sometimes for people with ASD. I myself struggle to maintain appropriate volume levels when speaking, as when I’m excited I tend to grow louder without noticing. Jonathan himself stays very quiet, and probably has to be prompted to speak up very often. His often flat tone conveys not a lack of emotional but a lack of understanding how to do so or comprehending that he’s supposed to convey his emotions through his voice. 6.) People see him as strange and odd, and just the way people depict him in general points out some form of social shortcoming. He tends to make intense eye contact and stare, and when he speaks he has a habit of looking away as he does so. It’s difficult to maintain appropriate eye contact for him, and he’s probably been berated for it at times, so he has a tendency to stare in an attempt to fix this.  7.) Routine, maybe? Jonathan is seen making breakfast for Will and presumably himself in the pilot, that’s most likely his routine. Even after Will’s disappearance, his solution to helping his mother is cooking breakfast. He’s not sure how to deal with everyone’s emotional distress or his own, so he just does what he knows. 8.) The fight with Steve. Jonathan’s rage was justified in this scene, he was just fine walking away until the older boy called out his family. Now think about this, Jonathan has been dealing with so much lately. First his brother goes missing, then his mom starts losing her mind, his camera is broken, his entire life starts to fall apart. His brother is presumed dead, his father threatens to come back into the picture, and then there’s the whole thing with the monster and stuff. He is dealing with so much, and then Steve shoves him over what he can handle. He’s pushed over the edge, into what many would call a meltdown. Of course, autistic people are rarely violent and aggressive towards others in their meltdowns. That is, unless someone is touching them, trying to prevent them from leaving, or adding into the sensory overload in some way. Steve is pushing him, calling out his family, egging him on.  Jonathan snaps and they fight, and once Jonathan is on top of Steve he only sees Steve. His sole focus is beating up Steve, any attempts to get him off are completely ignored. He pushes Tommy away, doesn’t hear the approaching cop car, and then elbows an officer in the face who tries to grab him. He’s not aware of what’s going on, he’s having an emotional outburst of such severity that he’s in a mode where his mind is saying ‘do not touch me’ and nothing else matters to him in that moment. Even after he’s pulled away, he struggles to get back on top of Steve, and he continues to struggle as he’s handcuffed. He screams at a cop to get off of him, as if it is a valid request, he’s freaked out and upset.

Back at the police station, he’s irritated and anxious, obviously still coming down off of his fit. His mother asks what happened and all he can say is ‘I’m fine’, he doesn’t even tell her ‘I got in a fight’ or anything of the sort.  In Hopper’s office, he’s got his fingers sort of in his mouth. I suppose it looks like he’s biting his nails but I took it as a stim myself, just a way to calm himself down. He’s nervous, looking between his mom and Hopper. Of course, he thinks they won’t believe him but he’s also extremely fidgety, which isn’t really something Jonathan exhibits very often. He’s geared up, still in fight or flight mode.  9.) His mother’s perspective of him. She doesn’t really talk that much about Jonathan as she does Will, but Joyce says a few choice words that I thought were very strange. Most parents of teenagers would say that their child is too distant, they want to do things themselves and are stubborn and rebellious... Joyce says this “You act like you’re all alone in the world.”  Not in this moment, just in general, he acts as if he’s alone. This excludes not only Joyce, but Will as well. It just proves that Jonathan sees himself as a separate entity compared to everyone else, and even his mother acknowledges it. He isn’t just a loner, he’s cut himself off from everyone else whether it be intentional or not. He’s not just some shy friendless kid, he’s done this to himself, he’s distanced himself from the world because he doesn’t understand it and feels like nobody else understands him. 10.) Jonathan has a good rapport with the boys, but nobody his age.  Even though he doesn’t seem the best of friends with the little group of boys his little brother is part of, he’s quite friendly with them compared to everyone else. This is most likely because Will is friends with them, they’re a little strange like Will, like Jonathan. Will is like a bridge, he’s a connection, nobody is closer to Jonathan than Will. He knows his brother, and his friends by extension know him too. They know he’s strange and odd, in another world, but in a way they are too... This really only points out that Jonathan is socially inept again, but I thought it was important to see how odd he is in the eyes of his classmates. It’s to the point where someone in Tommy and Steve’s group ( I don’t remember who, maybe Carol?) jokes that “I didn’t know he could talk”... He’s so bizarre in society’s standards he doesn’t even speak, that’s not just an outcast by social standards. He isn’t just the poor kid, the queer, the creepy guy. And it’s not just because of being bullied or anything of the sort, he probably just doesn’t talk that much unless prompted. I know a guy with autism that I’ve gone to school with since I was in fourth grade, he rarely spoke and only spoke when prompted. He was quiet, kept to himself, and when he did speak it was rarely audible. It reminds me a lot of Jonathan Byers. 11.) The way Joyce speaks to Will and Jonathan separately.  This is going to sound odd, and maybe reaching... But honestly, it feels like Joyce talks to the boys differently. When talking to Jonathan, Joyce often repeats herself, she speaks clearly and to the point. It’s almost like she’s in a habit of repetition around him, as if she realizes that sometimes he doesn’t understand things. Maybe it’s just because of the situation they’re in, but she repeats herself and makes sure that she gets through to Jonathan when talking to him. When Hopper and Joyce are leaving, she says “I need you to stay here” and when Jonathan protests, she continues over him and explains that he needs to watch the kids. She says please a few times, and when she leans back, she makes very intense eye contact with him and promises multiple times that she’s going to find Will. It’s almost as if she feels like she has to repetitively tell him this or she believes he might follow her despite her instructions (I mean, hell, it doesn’t sound out of the realm of possibility).  Also, in the pilot, when she asks where Will is, Jonathan seems to have forgotten to wake him up. She is irritated and says that she’s told him this a thousand times. However, this could be chalked up to a forgetfulness that seems to run in the family. Joyce is a little forgetful it seems, so it would be understandable that Jonathan has a similar trait. A lot of lines spoken to Jonathan by Joyce are repeated needlessly. Of course it’s understandable if she’s mad, but even when she’s worried she pries at Jonathan. “What is it? What is it? Tell me. Tell me!” This could be a habit she picked up from Jonathan’s childhood in which it took a lot of prompting for him to respond to questions. She also says “Do you hear me” or “Understand” a few times, which isn’t something she says often to anyone except Hopper when he doubts her.  She also makes intense eye contact with him all the time, like she had to struggle for a long time to get him to look at her which might have been the case. She’ll take hold of his shoulders or his arm and duck her head and wait until he looks at her to get his agreement or for him to respond, like a cue they’ve worked on. - - -  There are probably other things I could point out but this is just from memory really. I probably should rewatch the series but I rarely rewatch series unfortunately.  None of this is concrete evidence, some of this could be explained away to be honest as social anxiety or just other simple things. But I dunno, headcanons exist for a reason, eh?

[frogeyedape]

Here is the text of the article copy/pasted (not format edited, sorry) for anyone who may be having trouble with the link. And also for people like me, who sometimes don't click on links.

Invisible Abuse: ABA and the things only autistic people can see11 min read

BY C.L. LYNCH

 POSTED ON MARCH 28, 2019

If you want to upset a self-described Autism Mom, all you have to do is tell her that ABA is abusive.

This argument breaks out on social media so many times every single day.

Autism is an unusual condition because the community is so sharply divided.

On one side you have the neurotypical parents and families of autistic children, and on the other you have the online community of adult autistic people, many of whom are parents to autistic children.

The two sides disagree on virtually everything, but arguably the most contentious subject is Applied Behaviour Analysis Therapy.

ABA Therapists and many families of autistic people hail it as the most effective, most scientifically proven way to help autistic children develop life skills such as speech, potty training, and going to the grocery store without going into full meltdown mode.

Autistic adults– many of whom have been through ABA as children– say that it is abuse.

You can imagine how that statement sounds to loving parents whose children adore their ABA therapist and who would never knowingly abuse their beloved child.

You can imagine how it feels to be told that the gold-standard treatment which is bleeding your finances dry so that you can help your child is actually abuse.

The difficulty is that when people hear the word “abuse,” they think of pain and violence.

ABA has a big history of those things, too.  Its founder, O.  Ivar Lovaas, used electric shocks to stop children from engaging in their obsessive, repetitive behaviours.  He systematically trained them with equal combinations of love and pain to behave more like non-autistic children.

He thought he was saving them, turning a raw bundle of nerve endings into something resembling a human being.

One way to look at the job of helping autistic kids is you have to construct a person.  You have the raw materials but you have to build the person.

-Lovaas

Whenever ABA comes up, so does Lovaas.  Autists point out that he used these same techniques to pioneer gay conversion therapy, which, like ABA, has also been proven to be deeply harmful to the human psyche.  They also point out that while fewer ABA therapists use things like electric shock, it is still used and considered important by several institutions.

“But ABA has changed,” people argue.  “My ABA therapist never uses punishment.  It’s all positive and reward-based.”

That is very true for many people.  Most ABA therapists don’t set out to hurt children.  And yet, despite making ABA therapy fun and positive, the underlying goals of ABA have not changed.

And it is these goals that, like gay conversion therapy, do long-term damage to the human psyche.

The reason parents and ABA therapists can’t see it as abusive is because they can’t see it from an autistic point of view.

Let’s take a moment to look at some ABA in progress.

   So?  Did you see any child abuse?

Probably not.

How about here?

Or here?

Sure, the child was unhappy in the first video but the teacher was patient and she recovered, right?

And in the second video, they’re trying to teach children not to be disruptive, but they aren’t punishing the child or anything.

In all of these videos the children are never yelled at, scolded, shamed, or injured.  They are praised and rewarded when they get things right, and often the kids seem to be enjoying the games.

No electric shocks, no aversive, nothing to make the experience traumatic, right?

Wrong.

Allistic people can’t see it, because they don’t understand how it feels to be autistic.

Let’s go back to that first video.

While they do not address it in the voice-over, if you watched it again you would notice how often the therapists take the children’s hands and fold them into the children’s lap.

You would also notice how often the child’s feelings are ignored.

In the first video, several of the children begin rubbing their eyes and looking tired, but they do not address this.

In the video with the girl in the supermarket, an autistic person can spot that she was getting overstimulated, exhausted, and was increasingly desperate to escape this environment.

In the video with the crying child, an autistic person wonders why she is so unhappy.  Is she exhausted?  Overtired?  Overwhelmed?  And when she stops fussing and goes back to doing the work, we can see the resignation on her face.

She isn’t happier.  She’s just accepted that her feelings don’t matter and the fastest way to escape the situation is by complying.

In the last, you can see that ABA therapists deliberately ignore attempts to communicate or produce behaviours that have not been demanded by the therapist.

The child wants his mother’s attention.  Would I ignore my child while trying to listen to what his doctor was telling me?  Probably.  But I would “shhh” or pat his arm to let him know that he was heard, and I would be with him in a minute.

Notice that ABA doesn’t tell you to go back to the child after and find out what they needed or wanted.

And that is the problem with ABA. 

Not the rewards, not the silly imitation games. The problem with ABA is that it addresses the child’s behaviours, not the child’s needs.

Think of those happy little children in that first video.

Now understand that sessions like this are not a couple of hours a week.  ABA therapists recommend that small children between 2 and 5 go through 40 hours a week of this type of learning.

40 hours a week.

No WONDER those kids are rubbing their eyes.

My allistic eight year old doesn’t do 40 hours a week of school.  He goes to school from nine to three and gets a half hour recess and a half hour lunch.  That’s 5 hours a day five days a week.  25 hours of active learning.  And much of his class time is actually quiet reading, playing with learning materials, gym, or talking in a circle with his peers.  So make it less than 20 hours a week of being actively taught.

Imagine asking double that for a preschooler.

Now consider that ABA is designed to ignore any protests the child might make.

ABA is not designed to consider the child’s feelings or emotional needs. 

I’m not making a jump when I say that.  You can go to any ABA website and read what they say and you’ll see that there will be no discussion of the child’s emotional welfare or happiness, only behaviours.

To ABA, behaviour is the only thing that matters. ABA considers autistic children as unbalanced kids who need to be balanced out, and if you balance their behaviour, they are fixed.

“…what you need to do is reduce those excesses like the self stimulatory behavior, repetitive behaviors, and increase the skills.  And then what will happen is after the child really learns a set of foundational skills; then they will start relating more to other people.”

— Deborah Fein PhD

 As you can see from the above video, “self-stimulation”, one of the “excesses” of autism behaviours, is considered a kind of boredom fidget– something useless that replaces real learning and interaction.

When they are erased and replaced with “life skills,” then this is celebrated as a success.

Any autistic person will tell you is that this is NOT what stimming is.

Stimming isn’t just like doodling when you’re bored, or throwing a basketball.

Stimming is a comforting self-soothing behaviour which helps us reduce stress, feel more comfortable in uncomfortable environments, and regulate our emotions.

Many of us feel that our stims are a form of communication – just as a smile or a frown communicates something about our internal states, so do our stims, if you would just pay attention.  Moreso, in fact, since many autistic people smile when they are anxious or frown when they are perfectly content.  Studies show that non-autistic people are terrible at interpreting our facial expressions. 

If my husband sees me stimming more than usual in the middle of the day, he frowns and asks if my day is going okay.  But many times he mistakes my emotions based on my facial expressions.  My stims are better at translating my emotions than my face is, unless I’m actively animating my face in an allistic way for the benefit of my allistic audience.

Which is exhausting, by the way.

40 hours a week is too much for me so I can’t imagine how a small child manages it.

Grabbing my hands when I stim the way ABA recommends would NOT help my day go better. 

It would be an excellent way to piss me off and make me feel frustrated and anxious, though.

It’s one thing to stop a child from hurting themselves by banging their head.  It’s another to stop a harmless stim like hand flapping.  You’re causing the child emotional discomfort just because the behaviour strikes you as weird.

Go back and watch some of those videos again, noting how often the autistic children are interrupted from hand-waving, making noise, crying, or otherwise trying to express and relieve their emotions.

Notice how often they get the child to make eye contact.  Many autistic people find eye contact extremely uncomfortable.  The way the children’s bodies are touched and manipulated so frequently, in corrective redirection, is upsetting the children.  Their faces reflect confusion and sometimes distress.

But learning to tolerate discomfort is what ABA is all about. 

Watch that child enter the grocery store.  See how she looks all around?  The noise and the lights are stressful and distracting.  She wants to please her family and get the cookie pieces so she goes along with the act of putting food in the cart, but after a while she is worn out and can’t stand it anymore.

The mother comments that if they relented at this point and took the child out of the store, her daughter would be rewarded for behaving this way.

That is probably true.  If you are in pain, and you scream “Ouch!”  and someone comes running and relieves your pain, you’ll probably yell “Ouch” again the next time something hurts you.

Is that…  bad?

The parents say the ABA really helped their daughter.

Did it really help the child, though?  Or the parents?

The grocery store isn’t any less noisy or bright or overwhelming.  And the child obviously still finds it difficult to go in.  Instead, she has learned to keep her feelings to herself, to try and focus on pleasing her family, and bottle up her stress inside until she can’t take it any more.

That’s a healthy thing to teach a child, right?

With time she may become excellent at this.  She may be able to go to the store, put items in the cart, and go home without a meltdown.

But the meltdown WILL come.

It will come over something minor, some silly thing that seems like nothing and pushes her over the edge where she was already teetering.  And they will wonder where it came from.  They’ll talk about how unpredictable her meltdowns can be.

It isn’t unpredictable to us.

We can see it coming.  We can see that her autism hasn’t been treated to improve her life so much as to improve her family’s life.  And while that is important too, wouldn’t it be better to find a solution that works for everyone?

Did they try ear defenders, and dark glasses?

Did they try encouraging her to stim if stressed?

Did they teach her a polite way to let them know when she has had enough and needs to leave the situation?

I don’t know.  I don’t know them.  I don’t know their child.

But I do know what autism feels like.

I know that ear defenders are not part of standard ABA protocols.  Instead of teaching them to understand their sensory needs and self-advocate for having their needs met, they are taught to ignore them.

I know that ABA demands the child’s attention but refuses to give attention back when the child demands it.

I know that ABA aims to be positive and rewarding for the child, but doesn’t allow the child to tap out whenever they need to.

I know that ABA considers vital emotional regulation tools to be problems that must be extinguished.

I know that neurotypical pre-schoolers are not usually expected to learn for 40 hours a week.

I know that neurotypical children are encouraged to express their emotions, not smother them.

I know that ABA believes in removing a child’s language tool like the iPad when they are naughty.  I notice that the ABA therapist working with the 8-year-old boy only handed him his communication tool in between “discrete trials.”

I know from activists like Cal Montgomery that even adult autistic people have their communication tools routinely taken away from them if they don’t “comply” to the demands of their therapists and caregivers.

I know that if I ask someone if they think it is abusive to remove a child’s only way of contacting their parents, or to ignore a child in distress, or to force a child into a situation that they find uncomfortable/painful, or refuse to help a child when they are suffering and overwhelmed, they will say yes.

As long as I don’t mention that the child is autistic, anyway.

Autistic kids are different, apparently.

Whenever autistic people protest ABA, we are told that we don’t understand, that we don’t know how hard autistic children are to live with.  They talk about improving the child’s independence and argue that it isn’t cruel to teach a child to write or play with toys.

They don’t see how weird it is to try to systematically shape a child’s behaviour to teach them to play with a toy the “right” way.

They don’t see that 40 hours a week of brainwashing a child to put up with stress and discomfort without expressing their feelings might be a bad idea in the long run.

They don’t see how wrong it is to teach a child that their way of feeling comfortable and soothed is wrong and that ignoring your feelings and physical needs is good and gets you approval from your teachers and parents.

They don’t see that it is abusive to ignore a child’s attempts to communicate because they aren’t “complying” with a demand that makes them uncomfortable.

They don’t see how dangerous it is to teach a child to do whatever they are ordered to do, no questions asked, and to never object or say “no.”

They don’t think about the fact that 70% of people with ASD have experienced sexual abuse by the time they are college age.

They don’t think about how this person will learn to stand up for themselves or advocate for their needs when they were systematically trained in preschool never to disagree, speak up, or disobey.

Do what I say. 

Put your hands in your lap.

Don’t cry.  Don’t complain.

Listen to me.

I won’t listen to you.

This is not abuse.

…But, you know, the kid gets bubbles and tickles so it’s obviously safe and totally okay.

What do we know?

Our feelings don’t matter anyway.

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C.L. Lynch

C.L. Lynch is an award-winning author and socially awkward autist living in Vancouver, B.C. with one husband, two children, several fuzzy animals, and uncountable unwashed dishes. She enjoys smashing tropes and hiding from adult responsibilities.

As we enter Autism Acceptance month, I’m going to sincerely ask you to please, please read this article. Even if you’re not autistic and don’t know anyone who is, someday you might have autistic child, or know someone who does, and you need to hear the truth of ABA therapy from actual autistics.

I’m incredibly fortunate to be a self-diagnosed adult who never had to face ABA therapy, because just watching the videos in this article and reading the guidelines has me in actual tears and sick with rage. Maybe you can’t see it if you’re not autistic, but they treat these children in a way I would never even treat a dog. They treat them like things, like inconvenient problems to be solved, not human beings.

Why do they do that? Because the founder of ABA therapy said, “One way to look at the job of helping autistic kids is you have to construct a person. You have the raw materials but you have to build the person.“

ABA therapy is founded on the belief that autistics are not human beings. That our needs and our feelings don’t matter, the only thing that matters is forcing us into the shape of a “real” person, no matter what kind of damage or trauma it causes. 

Please understand that autistic people behave the way we do for a reason. Because we’re overwhelmed, or upset, or in pain, or tired, or confused. Forcing the behavior to change doesn’t change the feelings, it just teaches a child that their feelings don’t matter and they have to suppress them in order to be good. Please value an autistic person’s needs over the appearance of normalcy. Please treat autistic children like human beings.

Oh, and if you needed any more incentive? The founder of ABA, O. Ivar Lovaas, was also instrumental in creating gay conversion therapy. 

Please share this article with others.