#making a list of simple demands for the universe

[marsmaximoff]

💔; crimson pain -a different kind of blood

content warning: gn!reader who plays as number 028. (dating) angst. mentions of death, financial struggles, vomit, blood and fainting.

word count: 1935. i got a bit too carried away 😬

author’s note: finally, here it is. i’ve had this idea for so long but the universe wasn’t on my side, it seems. i really wanted to post it sooner 🥲. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and i apologize for the mistakes (english is my third language). oh, and tysm for the support on the jun-ho headcanons post! what do you mean over 1000 likes? that is insane 🤧🤧. i hope you’ll enjoy this one too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

the sugary umbrella lays on your shaky hand, under the excruciating yet unmasked gaze of the soldier. once the ‘pass’ is given, you stand up ready to get out of there. “you made it!” the voice of the one that has become the closest thing to a friend you could have in here relaxes you ever so slightly. “i almost didn’t. can’t believe i’m adding umbrellas to my traumas list.” having chosen the hardest doesn't surprise you much, not with unluckiness being a part of your life since you can remember. “well, im just happy you did. i thought the square was simple, but now i feel like we should have just chosen the triangle instead, you know? take a look at the survivors; most of them chose it and….” his words fade as an eerie feeling takes over your body, like something’s wrong. turning around, you’re met with one of them, staring right at you completely stiff, not even holding the weapon, merely some feet away.

“is he looking at us?” he can sense the uneasiness too, it seems. “let’s just go.” you can still feel his unfamiliar gaze on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

the doors opening break the silence and the rare calmness of the room. “player 028?” your body freezes completely. a stomach drop follows, and your heart rate skyrockets. no. nonono. you’ve done nothing wrong. is it the dalgona? the figure was perfectly carved out; you made sure of it. are they gonna kill you? two soldiers stand by the entrance, waiting. with a final glance at your friend, who is most definitely thinking the same, you reach the pink guards. you don’t even know what to say, should you beg for mercy? try to stay as cooperative as possible? “be quick.” what? the other one grabs your arm and begins to lead you somewhere. “i-i don’t-” your hands are shaking. “please, i didn’t do anything wrong...” begging it is. “keep. walking.” the words are almost a whisper, tho demanding. a hint of desperation can be heard as well. “okay, okay, ok-” wait. why did those words- no. you’re going crazy. it’s just the anxiety, the fear. 

the stranger takes you to the bathrooms and quickly closes the door. you step back. again. and once more. what now? he wouldn’t shoot you here, right? and why the hell does he look so tense? his hands move to his mask and make it disappear, and with it, the remaining bit of sanity you had.

the nausea from a few seconds ago comes back stronger, maybe you will die today. “jun-ho…” your voice is almost unrecognizable, tho a miracle, given the struggle breathing has become. “what are you doing here?” “i could ask you the same thing.” he’s angry, of course he is, but the hurt in his eyes pains you the most. “no….you need to get out of here.” god. you can feel yourself spiraling. nothing makes sense. “i will. and im taking you with me.” “h-how- when did- i-“ cold sweat has completely taken over your palms. “wait….wait. was it you?…. this morning?” he nods. “i found the damn card they gave you at yours and my brother’s house” what? “in-ho…?” why does everything keep getting worse? “have you seen him?” surely you would remember something like that, “n-no. maybe before the first game…..” you heed your legs’ warning to give up and sit down. “why are you doing this? i dont understand.” it’s not like he could. “they let you out. and you didn’t seek me. you hid yourself. again. i had to learn what was going on from a random man at the station. not you!!” silence between you had never felt this suffocating before, nor the atmosphere so uncanny. “don’t you realize how dangerous this is? they are killing innocent people! haven’t you realized?! 79 have died today. just because of a stupid cookie? what do you think you are doing?! you could have gotten yourself killed! you have no idea how worried i’ve been.” you don’t look at him. this shouldn’t be happening, he wasn’t supposed to find out.

“please, honey. this is insane and you know it. let’s get out of this madness.” the change in his tone of voice is evident, bordering the plea. it’s obvious he’s making an effort to remain calm, to use less confrontational comments. “i can’t.” “yes, you can. we’ll leave the same way i got here, don’t worry. no one will see us.” but you really can’t. you know that well. he sighs, “why didnt you tell me? how could you hide something like this from me? i thought we trusted each other.” 

distress seems to have replaced the blood running through your veins. “i would have helped you, always. i can still do it. if you need money, i’ll give it to you, it’s not a problem.” he keeps going after your negative. “i will. we can find another way-” “there isn't.” “of course there is. i have my savings, we’ll use them. i can ask for a raise. mr kim owes me after all this time. and i could do more hours-”

“its not FUCKING ENOUGH!” the sharpness of your words cuts all over his face. pain flows out, dripping a bloody red. more silence. you could drown in it. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

“my parents’ house is gonna get seized.” a burning throat accompanies the confession. “i messed up like crazy.” the expected embarrassment doesn’t show up, instead, regret does. “it’s not your fault.” how can he say that? “it is. i got them into this, I'll get them out.” “and you think risking your life here is the only way to do it? thats not true. god, why didn’t you tell me?” you rub your temple. “that doesn’t matter now. you-you need to get out, all this is suspicious.” you are not only trying to avoid the question, the guards could notice at any moment. “i told them you were gonna throw up.” “vomit or not you’re still in the bathroom with a player.” for some seconds, the only noise that can be heard is the shatter of your heart. “honey, listen to me. your parents wouldn’t want this. they don’t even blame you, im sure. how could they ever wish for something at the expense of their daughter’s life?” but the guilt is too heavy, too imprinted on your mind. “it’s not about me. if it were my house, i wouldn’t care, but it’s theirs. i would never forgive myself for not doing anything.” “and there are so many things you could do that don’t need you participating in some psychopaths’ games! do you really not see how dangerous and demented this is? please leave with me.” “jun-ho. think about it. if i ended up here, even after they gave us a second chance, it’s because i want to. no one forced me, and i’m old enough to know what i’m doing.” your replies are getting colder, which you hate. but it’s the only way to make him understand. “besides, they’re all kids' games. they’re easy.” you can only hope he won’t sense your attempt at self-persuasion. “they are shooting people. you could be dead. and i would have never seen you again, or known what had happened.” the urge to cry gets stronger with every word, to dive into his arms and finally feel some sort of calmness, warmth, love.

“i’m sorry that i hurt you, that i made you worry and feel like i couldn’t trust you. but i won’t apologize for being here.” “i don’t want you to apologize. i only want you to get out of here and not die.” his desperation has increased so much it’s swallowed your own distress. “i’ve already won two, i can make it to the end.” you refute. but you read him easily, he is planning to get you out without your agreement, somehow.

“please.” now it’s you that pleads. “if you love me, let me stay.”

his eyes widen, you see them watering. his heartbreak drowns out yours. you are aware you’ve never said anything as painful before. it hurts. more than anything they could do to you here. perhaps you are already dead. “how can you ask me something like this?” maybe you’re desperate, or too blinded by the blame that’s rotting on your insides. or perhaps it’s love. “get out of here. stay safe. and don’t tell the police, jun-ho. don’t even think about stopping the games. i need this, don’t ruin it.” god you don’t recognize yourself anymore. how nice it would be to go back when things were easy. when remorse didn’t control yourself, and you were happy with him. “what do you expect me to do if you die?” “i won’t” “you can’t know that! how can i let the love of my life risk it all when i know i could do something?” understanding such perspective is effortless. if it were the other way around, you too would act like he is.

you approach him for the first time, god how you craved it. your hands cup his pained yet beautiful face and a tear drops. “i missed you.” he says quietly, unable to stay angry at you for long. “i missed you too.” you answer back, wiping the tear. “i missed your face, your voice, your touch. i miss your kisses.” things already ache enough like this, so you give in. the kiss is soft, so fragile, like a bit more intensity would make it disappear. “i love you.” he whispers resting his forehead on yours. “i love you too.”

a knock on the door destroys the illusion. shit. “lay on the floor.” “what?” “lay on the floor”, he repeats, walking towards the door while putting his mask back on, “and play along.” the door opens and the same voice from earlier speaks. “what do you think you’re doing in there?” may that unluckiness give you a rest for some minutes. “she passed out. she was taking too long and not answering back so i entered and found her unconscious.” footsteps grow louder. “player 028…. i don’t remember any health issues on the file… fuck.” you stay as still as possible, it sounds plausible, given the stress. “take care of it, i’ll let the boss know. and don’t take longer.” with that, he exits the room, and you thank his unwillingness to deal with sensitive issues.

sitting back up, jun-ho kneels to your level. “you look good for a faint.” a hint of a smile appears on your face. “are you mad at me?” “i was. mostly worried. i don’t like this at all.” you grab his gloved hands. “i’ll be okay, believe me.” he doesn’t. he can’t. “please, be careful. and think about it. if you change your mind, i’ll be waiting.” you won’t. you wouldn’t let yourself. but you nod. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope you’ll carry that with you. i love you so damn much.” his voice breaks, and you tell yourself it’s time to go back, this conversation can only get more and more devastating for you both. you offer the bleeding and broken pieces of your heart. not meaning to cut him this time. and he takes them. how could he not treasure them? you kiss again. it tastes different this time. like farewell. 

and when you get out of the room, you both know that was the last time you’ll see each other. 

[amrv-5]

Day 2 of wishing soooo badly I had some freaken sourdough some apple slices some butter right now. Also I’m adding that I want hot spiced apple cider a 58 degree day and a new set of pajamas

[chxrryhansen]

౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Cherry’s Cevans One Shot Rec List

here you will find all of my favourite chris evans + characters fanfiction recommendations, i have many more to add and will continue to update this list. Please don’t forget to reblog these amazing writers fics as they deserve so much love!💘💘

Walk On The Wild Side - @hansensgirl

you just wanted to go for a stroll down the road—but he wants you to take a walk on the wild side. (Dark!Chris Evans)

You Better Not Pout, Better Not Cry - @hansensgirl

they know if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. (Dark!Multi character) - i would add every single one of her fics to this list if i could💘

Sinful Devotion - @evansbby

Lloyd promises to let you go, but he demands a depraved repayment. (In other words, Lloyd pops your cherry)- my favourite writer in the whole universe💘

Smothered With Bliss - @whereireid

Is it hard being married to the most influential man in America? You most certainly think it is. — Steve Rogers: Captain America, the heart of his nation, the soul of his country. After returning home from a particularly bad day at work, Steve finally snaps, deciding you need re-educating on how to be the perfect housewife.

The Night - @misshoneybee

Working as the Barber family's nanny is a piece of cake, but what happens when the dad you've been tip-toeing around all year comes home late one night to find you asleep in his bed, wearing his favorite sweater?

Little Miss Red - @anika-ann

Ransom’s looking for a good time tonight, when you walk through the door, he knows he’ll get it. And you? Oh you’ll get it too. He's going to make sure of it.

Unholy Errand - @buckets-and-trees

You're caught in the crosshairs when a hit goes out for your boss. (Dark!Lloyd Hansen + Dark! God The Bounty Hunter + Ransom Drysdale)

What A Shirt Can Tell - @justalonelyslytherin

5+2 times Colin asked 'Is that my shirt?' plus the one time he got asked it. Aka a look through the journey of Colin and his girl, each in which his shirts play an important role.

Start Again - @wkemeup

A chemical spill, uncontrollable desires rushed to the surface, an unbridled need, and the consequences in the aftermath (Steve Rogers)

Daddy’s Little Pet - @sinner-as-saint

You and Steve are the epitome of ‘opposites attract’. He is the American hero, a super soldier who is known for his bravery, and righteousness and for being the one leading the Avengers. You, on the other hand, are a well-known fashion designer in the city. Creator and owner of your own brand, and elite boutique. At first glance, it doesn’t seem like you and Steve would be compatible. But you surprisingly are. And behind closed doors, in secrecy – you two are each other’s solace, each other’s definition of home. He’s your strong, loving and caring man. And you, his lovely, little pet whom he adores more than life itself.

Good Girls And Skype Calls - @youre-deadangel

chris gives you a treat for behaving.

Afternoon Delight - @christowhore

you're steve's live-in housekeeper and find your boss and his friends having a bbq on a heatwave stricken afternoon. they invite you to join them and show you all the pleasurable ways to cool down from the sun. (SoftDark!Steve Rogers + Sam Wilson + Bucky Barnes)

Got You - @hispeculiartreasure

The two of you had grown close over the last year; first as teammates, then as friends. You had been distant at the start, just as he had. Slowly, agonizingly - blood, sweat, and tears were definitely involved - walls were dismantled. A current of trust ran between you, one which caught Steve by surprise. As dense as he could be about matters of the heart, suspicions of his blossoming romantic feelings being mutual had proven true with a simple kiss. (Sex Pollen, Steve Rogers)

Golden Boy - @bucksfucks

you’ve always called steve the golden boy, but he snaps one night and decides to show you he’s anything but. (Roommate!Steve Rogers)

It Must Be That Old Evil Spirit - @vonalyn

There’s something unsettling about his demeanor but you can’t quite put your finger on it. As if there’s something hiding beneath the surface just waiting to pry its way out of the tight shirt across his broad frame and tear your throat out. Maybe it’s your general unease around others when you’re traveling alone, or maybe it’s just him.  (Jack-O-Lantern!Ari Levinson)

Stupid Kitty - @onsunnyside

Your father wrongfully entrusted Lloyd to care for you—it’s too bad he’ll never get you back. (Lloyd Hansen x Cat-Hybrid!Reader)

Manners- Or Lack Of Them - @rogerswifesblog

Ransom wants you, the sweet girl at the bar…but you’re not what he expected you to be. (Sub!Ransom Drysdale + Mommy!Reader)

Shadow Boxer - @mypoisonedvine

you’re stuck in the same destructive cycle with ransom, but maybe you don’t want to get out of it. (Angst + Smut, Ransom Drysdale)

It’s Not A Challenge - @gagmebucky

His jaw ticks. “It’s not a challenge, doll,” he bites out. “It’s a warning. If I tried to get inside you, I’d split you in half in the process.” His eyes flicker down, and your nipples are pebbles against the thin, easily-rippable fabric—you’re testing him, and he’s failing. “Goddamn it,” he hisses underneath his breath. “That - that shouldn’t turn you on.” Bristling, he drops his hand and pedals backward—he’s on his last thread, and it’s his sole chance to make a clear-headed decision. (Boxer!Steve Rogers)

Pretty Princess - @frostironfudge

Andy Barber gets jealous when he presumes you shared a room with one of his associates.

Over And Over - @frostironfudge

Ari Levinson is a possessive man, he'll punish you till you apologise.

Such A Good Boy - @lilacevans

You and Ari attend a business meeting, and at the beginning the other boss you're meeting with just assumes that Ari is the one in charge; however, that's not the case. While you look dainty, angelic, like you couldn't even hurt a fly, you're the one who runs the family and will not hesitate to fuck up anyone who stands in your way. (Puppy!Ari Levinson) - one of my favourite fics EVER.💘

Breathe - @buckyownsmylife

The one where the new co-star is obsessed with the idea of making Chris hers, but he makes sure to show her you’re the only one for him.

Justified - @dbnightingale24

Ransom has always been the center of your world you’ve always been the center of his. However, when he can’t change his ways and you’re tired of the heartbreak, is it really so bad if you think it’s best to walk away? Ransom thinks so. - one of the sweetest most talented writers i have ever met💘

My, My, My - @1800jjbarnes

Stevie couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.

All The Time - @geminixevans-stan

He is one of the most powerful men on earth but there’s more worse than him (Dark!Lloyd Hansen + Dark!Nick Fowler)

Snack - @katherineswritingsblog

he just wants his snack- which is you.

Watchful Eyes - @espinosaurusrexex

When your best friend gets you a new job, cleaning the apartment of the most successful man in New York City, you don't hesitate to accept. The pay is more than good, and the man himself is better than any eye candy you have ever seen. Unbeknownst to you, you've caught his attention just as much. Steve can't keep his mind off you, so much so, that he drives everyone around him insane with his grumpiness when you aren't around. It seems like he has to take matters into his own hands when he realizes, you're too shy to take things further yourself. (CEO!Steve Rogers)

Cherry On Top - @dcllbows

you’ve found your favorite way to help your daddy with his grownup work. (Ddlg, Daddy!Andy Barber)

Voracious - @arilevinsons

The first time he set eyes on you; you were his sudden infatuation. (DarkProfessor!Ari Levinson)

Best Friend’s Dad - @imyourbratzdoll

you've been pining over your best friend's dad and decide to take your chance, knowing he's out and your best friend is asleep, you be a little bit naughty and touch yourself on his bed, not knowing he's coming home early.

The Breeding Ground - @fl0werfae

To others, Ari’s house was a breeding ground for him and his omega, but to him it was just fulfilling her purpose of carrying his pups. (Alpha!Ari Levinson)

My Sweet Pea - @mavsstar

Mr. Levinson lives right next door to you, the sweet, innocent college girl. Little do you know that you're Mr. Levinson's favorite neighbor. He's there every chance you need the slightest of help, maybe a little too much. (Trailer Park Au)

Like A Movie Scene In The Sweetest Dream - @worksby-d

Johnny’s always been on your “no” list, but you've finally agreed to work with him. (Pornstar!Johnny Storm)

Easy As Pie - @navybrat817

You bake pies for Andy, but you're still his favorite treat.

[leighsartworks216]

In Your Arms

Sylus x gn!Reader

Huge huge huge shoutout to @blueroseava for steering my "Sylus isn't used to gentle touches" thought into this fluffy little thing. This one takes place in the Raven universe (the same MC as Lap Dog and The Raven), but I may write another one with a softer MC later. Thank you again for sharing this idea bc now I cannot think straight I just wanna cuddle this huge man so bad <333

Warnings: fluff, cuddling, some biting, established relationship, selectively mute reader, reader is the only one who can boss him around like this

Word Count: 898

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

The Raven Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Every single deal this week fell through. Every. Single. One. It wasn’t even because the deals were unfair or that he was being duped. No. It was worse. His competitors swept the deals right out from under him.

As a result, Sylus was irritable and quicker to snap than usual. Not at you, of course. He was upset, but he didn’t have a death wish. The twins were mostly the outlet for his bad mood, alongside his punching bag.

You find him in his office, the knuckle of his finger brushing against his upper lip as he read a series of documents. You don’t bother knocking before you enter. He doesn’t look up, but you know he notices your presence. He always does, even in a crowded party.

You walk behind his chair and press your hands into his shoulders, digging your thumbs against the tense muscle at the back of his neck. He sighs, lifting his head up from his work to encourage you. You kiss the back of his head.

“The sun is up and you’re still here.” You drag your thumbs along the sides of his spine before moving back up again.

“Is my kitten missing me?” he teases. His voice is rough with exhaustion, low and slightly airy as you massage him. You lean down to bite his neck. He chuckles at your way of scolding him. But, he finally relents.

The papers in his hands land carelessly on his desk, no longer worth his time when you’re here trying to drag him off to bed. Your magic touch abandons him as he stands. The tension seems to return tenfold when he looks down at you, neck strained once again from the simple fact of his being taller than everyone else.

You grab his hand, holding it to your face briefly to press a kiss to his palm, before intertwining your fingers together and dragging him out of his office. Luke and Kieran are nowhere to be seen or heard. Mephisto is off spying for Sylus, gathering intel that could turn his hand back against his competitors. He sighs. He doesn’t want to think about it anymore.

You’re already dressed for bed, but Sylus is still in the nice dress clothes from his meeting earlier that night. He lets your hand go so he can change. When he comes back, the soft pajama pants are hanging low on his lips, but you don’t even spare them a glance.

You’re sitting up, back against the headboard. It’s his usual position, or it was until he found someone worth laying down next to. Someone he knew full well could slit his throat, but who chose to protect it anyway. Any intruders who dared to break into the Onychinus base and make an attempt on his life would be praying they were never born without him ever needing to worry.

“You’re in my spot,” he points out, raising his eyebrow.

You pat your lap. “It’s my spot tonight. Lay down.”

“So demanding.” He crawls up the bed until he can rest his head in your lap. It wasn’t a completely foreign position, when the roles were reversed. It’s the first time he’s ever been down here, looking up into your face. Your thighs as his pillow, keeping him from straining his neck any more. It… feels nicer than he expected it to.

Fingers which have taken lives without hesitation, that he’d seen pull apart guns in seconds just to put them back together equally as fast, traced delicately along his cheek. Soft, tender touches that felt along his jaw and brushed down the bridge of his nose. At one point, they close his eyes, with an accompanying huff of annoyance from you.

“Sleep,” you command.

He chuckles. “Of course, sweetie.”

The gentle caresses tempt him to bite your fingers when you brush them over his lips, but he resists, if only to avoid pissing you off. He doesn’t expect the groan that’s pulled from his lips when your other hand drags through his hair. Your nails scratch lightly at his scalp, his hair sliding through your fingers like silk.

It’s so different to when your hands are usually tangled in his hair. Usually, it’s rough, grabbing fistfuls of white locks and pulling hard enough to sting, commanding his head to be where you want him. This is the closest to heaven he’s ever felt.

He exhales and the tension in his body goes with the slightly shaky breath. You drag your nails from the crown of his head to the nape of his neck, praising him for letting go so easily in your care. Your other hand glides down his neck and arm until you can lace your fingers together once more.

As his exhaustion takes hold, his trust is implicitly and wholly in your hands, peaceful in the knowledge that he will make it through the night even in such a vulnerable position.

In the morning, he’s on his stomach, arms wrapped around your back and face pressed tightly against your belly. Your hand is still tangled in his hair, limp as you sleep, but sturdy in its willpower to stay there. He’s the first to wake, disoriented and slow to piece together how he ended up here. But then he closes his eyes again, nuzzles like a cat into your welcoming heat, and drifts off.

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow

[andromeda-nova-writing]

“What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?”

Fem!Reader Words: 1742

AN: Is it a sequel to the last fic or a request from @isekyaaa? It's both! I hope I've done the prompt justice for you

Y/N’s classroom was silent as she shuffled papers around trying to clean up what was now a shared classroom. To say it was her classroom wasn’t a good way to describe the room. It was a room that she had been thrown into over a month ago on the other side of the campus. The classroom was cramped, lights would flicker in and out, and the heat would never kick in. It felt as if the university just wanted her to quit. Had her rightful complaints of poor treatment got her into this? Or maybe it was the fact she wasn't afraid to critique their golden boy? 

At least she had already completed her final class of the day and with no meetings, all that was left to do was to go home. Hopefully, the next teacher here will be satisfied with her cleaning. With the knock on the door, she assumed that was who had shown up.

“I’ll be just a minute. I’m almost done in here.” Y/N placed the last of the papers within her bag, eyes not even making contact with the door frame. “I just have to clean the whiteboard.”

There was a man’s sigh followed by footsteps and a binder landing in front of her on the desk where she sat. It was a plain purple that felt way too familiar. Looking up at its owner she shouldn’t have been surprised. “What do you want Ratio?” Her question came off in a mix of annoyance, tiredness, and ready for a fight.

“Open it.”

“Your hands work.”

“Will you just open the binder?” A question that sounded more like a demand

She rolled her eyes before doing what she had been asked. There was no sense in fighting every little thing. Looking at the paper on top, it was just a simple list of grades over time. There were two sections highlighted about a month apart from each other with a noticeable improvement. It was small but clear to see. “It's a start at least. Is this all you have to show me?”

He flipped to the next page. It was the start of a thesis for what he must have been currently working on. The page was covered in red ink of his handwriting over the text he had printed out. It had been a bit odd to see knowing how much he had preferred to work in digital. He had on plenty of occasions spoken a snide comment to her about how he did not need to leave to grab a notebook and that he had access to everything he needed at all times. There were too many times when he had given her a side eye even on just running out of ink.

“You do know I’m in an entirely different field of study than anything you’ve done? I’m not sure if you really want me to read this over. It may be best to find someone else.” She closed the binder, rejecting his request before getting up to clean the whiteboard behind her. “I teach art history. I’m doing a fashion history course at the moment!” She emphasized as began to wipe down the whiteboard, clearing it of a few things that had been required for her students to take note of. 

“You are able to not hold back on giving critiques which is a skill in itself.” One that others at the university he found were lacking. “I do not require someone who has a similar knowledge as me. It’s harder to understand where my writing doesn’t make sense when someone has an easier time following along with the subject matter.”

Y/N dropped the cloth in her hands, turning around. “That is not the compliment you think it is!”

“And it wasn't an insult either!” He pinched his nose in an attempt to remain calm. “It's a rough draft. There are still things I would like to add but I want you to read through it first.”

She leaned against the clean side of the whiteboard that was behind her. “It would be better to find someone else to read through it. What part of that do you not understand?”

“What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” He had said it louder than he had meant to, emotions taking over for a brief moment. Perhaps the same emotions that had derailed his train of logic led him to even ask her for this favor.

“The part where you are the one who is saying it. I’m bound to say something that will start a debate and derail your work. Or better yet I help you only end up teaching in a closet next.”

“You act as if I am the one who put you in here.”

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do. You even yelled at me over this a month ago.”

“I wasn't yelling.” 

He had crossed his arms giving her a side eye.

“You are misremembering. I was annoyed yes but yelling no.” 

“If you can remember that you can remember your own actions then. You waltzed in and blamed me for the actions of people higher up than me.”

“I,” she sighed remembering back on it more, “I did do that didn’t I? To be fair, your lack of teaching skills left me in a room where I feel like I'm going to turn into an ice cube. How are you even standing in here without shivering?” Y/N asked as she looked over the more revealing aspects of his attire. 

He shook his head at the lack of an apology. “They do keep most of the servers within this building. That's still no excuse for why this room is so cold.”

“Every time I ask about it I'm told either the heat is out or that it's on low. I was told it was going to be fixed but I’m pretty sure that was a lie now. Most of my students started bringing blankets to class with them. They are just recording the lecture instead of taking notes and I can tell they aren’t going back to listen to it cause the grades are just dropping now.” Y/N complained with defeat just washing over her. 

“Have you made it known that these changes are affecting your class?” He asked the obvious as if she couldn’t think of it herself.

“They will make changes off of things you say because the complaints come from you. Your name carries weight. No matter how correct I am, because I even dare to point out a flaw of yours I am to be ignored and tossed aside so as to not ruin what your name brings to this place.” Her eyes drifted to the floor. “I’m clearly being punished. If I speak about what is going on anymore who knows what I may lose next? The arts remain to be disrespected even when used to teach about the history of different worlds. I must face the fact that I am not wanted.” It hurt a bit to admit it allowed. This had been a dream job of hers and it felt horrible to see it ripped from her over a lack of general respect from those above her.

“I want you.” He repeated once more with softness and desperation leaking into his voice. “As annoying as your critiques can be, listening to them has forced me to take a look at myself and bring improvement. Trying to improve myself without the input of another only works for so long. I’ve seemed to have forgotten that.” Perhaps he had grown too similar to some of those who worked here in that aspect. The distance between them was breaking as he moved closer into her space. 

Her laughter filled the small space between the two of them. One that was genuine, not filled with their usual sarcasm and jabs back and forth. “Are you hiding a literature degree there? I've never heard anyone beg for a critique like this before.” She teased.

“It’s not begging. I am just asking what I know you are capable of. You would have given your thoughts without me asking, wouldn’t it be better to invite those thoughts instead?” 

“I suppose it would but I'm not quite sure about it still. My critiques of you haven't ended well for me. What's to say this time would be different?”

“I believe I have met your requirements to discuss what is considered life-changing once more.” The grades rising just by points didn’t meet what she had asked of him and yet it was enough to take his advances seriously. 

“I wasn’t sure you would follow through on what I asked of you. Have you found a definition or have you found a different example?” She looked up at him, it took everything to not lose herself in how he was staring at her. His eyes tethered to her lips watching every movement. Part of her wished he would go through with the example she had put a stop to last time.

“It would seem that day in the library was example enough for me. The memory won’t quiet in my mind.”

“Perchance have you put that brain of yours to work figuring out what would quiet it?”

“It is less a matter for my brain to solve.”

“But you have found a solution?” Her eyes kept darting between his normally cold eyes and his lips which appeared so inviting. Maybe if she had paid more attention last time she would have noticed that before.

“I have.”

“I must ask, do you want me for a critique or do you want me?”

“If it’s both?”

“Then I would implore you to show me what you considered life-changing that day. It may persuade me to say yes.”

It was only a matter of mere seconds before Y/N found herself kissing the man she had been blaming for some of her issues with this university. However, she mostly laid the blame for those issues starting with his teaching style, but it was hard to focus on his flaws when he was being so loving at the moment.

Was it loving or more an act of desperation? Something that she would decide later as for now it was quite enjoyable being pinned against a whiteboard making out with a man she could have sworn was just a thorn in her side.

[hiraethwa]

one summer day

12 shoot for the stars. where you celebrate ushijima’s signing with a tokyo team

<< 11 star-crossed.| >> 13 hello, tokyo.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader word count: 1.6k warnings: nothing much tags: @lemurzsquad @daisy-room @integers @brokenscaredakira @whosmarjj -- (inbox me if you want to be added to the tag list)

december, third year

the weather turns cold, ushering in the snowy winter days. you realize it will be the last winter you share with ushijima if you don’t end up going to school in tokyo next year. 

“let’s go to tokyo together” you remember his words, clear as the night sky the words were spoken under. ushijima had stayed true to his words, choosing to accept an offer to play with a v-league division one team based in tokyo. 

the ball is quite literally in your court now. 

your hands shake as you rip open the letter from the university of tokyo, the thin envelope almost foretelling the results. your eyes scan the words quickly. thank you for your application… we receive thousands of applicants… each goes through rigorous and demanding standards… we regret to inform–

the paper slips from your trembling hands.

cruel is the fate that dealt you your hand. you glance at the vision board balanced atop your dresser. the collage of letters torn out from magazines spelling out ‘university of tokyo’ mocking you like a cruel joke. 

you bite your lip, swallowing the tears welling in your eyes. life goes on, and you have a party to get to. 

ushijima’s celebration party is in full swing by the time you arrive. people chatting in groups, laughing, holding glasses of amber liquid. you recognize some of them, the players on the volleyball school team, a handful of classmates scattered across the sprawl of the first floor of the large house. a good portion of adults and strangers, who you assumed to be his mother’s friends or family. 

you are late, but late is better than never. it seemed like the universe is against you getting here on time today. you had decided last minute that the outfit you had prepared could be too casual, rummaging through your cabinet for something more. and when you were done, you could not find the gift where you left it, causing you to be even later than you already were. 

now weaving through the upscale crowd, looking for ushijima’s tall figure, you are glad that you went with a more formal outfit for the occasion. ah, there he is.

you stop dead in your tracks when you notice who he is talking to. 

because looking up at ushijima with a gentle smile, hair pinned back carefully, is a stranger clad in a simple and elegant dress. you rack your brain, going through the students at your school but came up short, so she probably doesn’t go to shiratorizawa. you wouldn’t forget someone like this. 

it is not just that, but also the two older ladies who are with them, presumably their mothers, that makes you pause. 

there is a feeling that you can recount on one hand the times you felt it settle over you. the indescribable feeling of witnessing something pivotal happening before you know what it is. once when your parents came home from the doctors when you were a toddler, the biggest smiles on their faces. you later found out that it was the day they learned your mother is pregnant with your sister. the other time was when your father packed his bags for a week long business trip in tokyo after your sister’s funeral. that turned into two weeks, then a month, and a permanent role change and only seeing him on new year’s day and emergencies. 

you twist away from them, ignoring that feeling that once again nudges itself against you. 

“hey” semi finds you easily by the drinks pouring yourself a generous amount of the bitter liquid despite being underaged. 

“you look good.” you nod your head in appreciation of the classy white button-up semi opted for.

“thanks, you talked to ushijima yet?”

“nah, he’s swarmed.”

he chuckles, “tell me about it.”

“want some?” you offer the cup to him. 

“i thought you hate the smell of alcohol.” semi scrunches his nose at you.

“today’s a special occasion, isn’t it?” your hand tightens around the glass. 

this is a celebratory party, you remind yourself. you had dropped off your gift at the entrance alongside the rather large pile of congratulatory presents, feeling out of place carrying the wrapped box around the party. 

you knew that ushijima came from an influential family in the miyagi prefecture, but this far outweighs the picture you had in your head of how affluent they are. they had a whole coat check for guests in the foyer. 

semi furrows his brows at your words. “shit, you heard back from tokyo today, didn’t you?”

“it has been decided, yeah.” you look away, finding ushijima making his way towards you. “let’s talk about this another time. tonight, we are celebrating.” 

you lift your glass, inclining your head at the star of the night. unfamiliar faces gravitate towards him, stopping him on the way, smiling and congratulating him on his new position with the v-league team, pulling him into conversations. 

the world has always kept its eyes on him, you think.

“yet his eyes are always on you.” semi comments, making you flush with realization that you spoke out loud. 

“i don’t know if i want things to change. what if it all goes wrong?” you shake your head, understanding what semi is implying with his words. 

despite coming to terms with the fact that the feelings might be mutual, you still have the irrational fear of having a fallout so catastrophic that you would lose him. that, and neither of you ever got around to addressing the shared moment during tanabata. you definitely were not putting it off as long as you could.

“what if it doesn’t?” what if it doesn’t? you have been unlucky your whole life that you know good things like that don’t just drop into your lap without some pre-attached conditions. lady luck has never been on your side, why would she start now?

“i don’t know, eita,” you shake your head. “it’s getting late, and i have an early morning practice tomorrow. i don’t think he’s gonna make it over at this rate. say hi to ushijima for me?”

your escape does not go unnoticed, for a moment later, ushijima catches up to you putting your jacket on in the foyer. 

“you’re leaving already?” he frowns at you. 

“yeah, sorry. i didn’t want to intrude since you seemed like you had your hands full.” you smile sheepishly at him, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “i know you've heard it plenty tonight but i’m gonna say it anyway. congratulations! i’m so proud of you! i did get you a gift, it's on the table over there.” you gesture at the table laden with bags of every size and carefully wrapped boxes. 

“that’s not what i care about. did you hear back from tokyo? today is the last day the admission letters should arrive, right?” his hand finds yours, easily enveloping your relatively small hand. you are acutely aware of his warmth at the contact of his fingers around yours. 

“maybe we should talk about this another–” you try to delay the news, but a stern voice calling his name grabs both your attention. 

“we have guests waiting to talk to you, wakatoshi.” you recognize the older woman from earlier. her eyes narrow at the sight of ushijima holding your hand. “and don’t forget our agreement.”

“yes, mother.” she only gives you a curt nod before disappearing back to the party. 

you exhale, blowing out the breath you weren’t aware of holding. she reminds you of ushijima’s stoic countenance. of course he got it from his intimidating mother. 

ushijima turns to you, “before you go, i wanted to ask you if you want to share an apartment in tokyo. i found a nice two bedroom apartment, and i want to secure—”

you do a double take. flatmates? that is either the worst idea ever, or the best. but you didn’t have heart to knock him off his high tonight, nor did you want to put a damper on his mood by telling him about your rejection from the university of tokyo. 

but it must have shown on your face, because he broke off halfway, concern clouding his eyes. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing to worry about,” you quickly cover. “that sounds nice, but let’s talk it over before we make it official.” you nod, chuckling quietly at the excitement ushijima is exuding as his eyes widen and fucking sparkles. fuck me sideways, how can i ever say no to him? 

ushijima reluctantly releases your hand, looking back towards the party at the sound of his name being chanted. “i’ll see you at school on monday?” 

“of course.” semi’s words earlier echo in your head, so you tiptoe, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek before you think twice and lose your courage. “good night!” 

you basically sprint out of the front door. 

it doesn’t occur to you until much later, that you probably shouldn’t have done that. it was a selfish action, spurred on by semi and the girl that ushijima was talking to. 

it was unfair to ushijima, considering the letter of acceptance with a scholarship offer from Conservatoire National Supérieur de Musique et de Danse de Paris sitting on your desk at home. one that you went over agonizingly with your limited but growing french vocabulary. 

a snowflake lands on your skin, allowing you to admire its six-pointed crystal lattice momentarily before it melts from your warmth. you look up at the night sky filled with snow flurries dancing to the wind. a bittersweet smile hangs on your lips. 

it is the last winter you will share with ushijima. fate brought you together more than two years ago, both of your lives intersecting for a short period of time. now, it will see your paths diverge again. 

to paris it is.

a/n: maybe some foreshadowing but you didn’t hear it from me <3

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[necrotic-nephilim]

@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.

so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.

a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.

and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.

so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.

beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.

because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.

and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.

and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.

and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.

people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.

it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.

[jasmineoolongtea]

| amusement park date with gojo satoru ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

out of all the places you would expect to be at on a tuesday afternoon, an amusement park was definitely at the bottom of that list. scratch that, it wasn't even on the list until, half an hour ago, your boyfriend, satoru, had the brilliant idea to try and convince you (with large amounts of bribery on his behalf) to ditch your last lecture of the day to spend time with him at an amusement park. unfortunately for your attendance and fortunately for satoru and his arsenal of candy that he keeps with him at all times, you caved into his demands.

"toru," you murmur as you fidget with the red bowtie around your collar, trying to get it to stay straight instead of weirdly off to the side as it just so happens to seem inclined towards. "this is stupid." as soon as the words leave your mouth, a dramatic gasp escapes him, eliciting some confused looks from the park goers around the two of you, as he spins around to face you. there's an almost offended look on his face, albeit highly exaggerated, as he places his hands on your shoulders, lowering himself to your eye level.

"sweets. we're enjoying ourselves and having fun." he states as if it were a simple fact, one as clear as the sky above you two. "how is this stupid?" satoru asks, his previous expression of shock, and borderline offence, now morphing into a pout. his lower lip was jutting out in a way that made his crystalline blue eyes sparkle even more with a tinge of faux sadness, a look he knows always pulls at your heartstrings.

a sigh escapes you, it wasn't like the idea was not enticing, especially with satoru by your side, but you had some small hang-ups that were making you slightly hesitant from throwing yourself in this with reckless abandon. "we're university students and instead of being at class, we're here playing dress up at the same place parents bring their toddlers with way too much energy." you comment, narrowly avoiding falling face first to the ground, thanks to satoru's quick reflexes saving you from that fate, as one of the aforementioned hyper-active toddlers crashes into your knees. now pulled against his chest, you lean into his touch, your shoulders sagging slightly as you contemplate your current situation.

"plus, don't you feel weird when wearing these outfits?" you gesture to yourself in the full-length mirror right in front of you. "feels like we're back in high school again and the teenagers around us aren't helping that feeling." right next to the entrance of the park, there was a costume rental area that park guest could use and immediately after spotting it, satoru pulled you towards the racks of various different school uniform designs. now, you were dressed in a slightly wrinkled white button-up, a red bowtie around your collar, a plaid skirt that fell just above your knees and a brown cardigan to top it all off, however, feeling overgrown despite only being out of high school for no less than 2 years.

tightening his grip around your waist, he starts swaying side to side which causes you to move along with him, a childish whine present in his voice as he speaks. "but babee, that's the beauty of it!" sensing that your scepticism was growing with each second, he pokes your cheeks, eliciting a small smile from you as it always does when he does this. "think about it. i know how stressed you've been with your workload and what better way to destress than to take some time off by travelling back to our high school days and relaxing with your amazing boyfriend." he suggests, making sure to emphasise the last two words of his sentence as if to showcase how proud he was of that title to anyone who was in the fortunate or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it, earshot of the two of you.

"you chose these outfits on purpose didn't you?" you already knew the answer to your own question. it was undeniable. the outfits you were wearing were almost identical matches to the ones you wore during your own time in highschool. quietly, to yourself, you thought about how good satoru looked in his fit with his broad frame filling up the navy blazer with ease, maybe even better now than when you first saw him in those long corridors.

as if he noticed how your gaze was lingering on him, his grin grew even wider as he placed a chaste kiss upon your cheek. "don't people say nostalgia's one hell of a drug?" he quips back at you, already intent on dragging you out to explore the expanses of the amusement park.

finally, you acquiesce to his demands, letting yourself be pulled along by him as you fight the urge to giggle at his antics. "fine, satoru. but you better make it up to me for making me miss my lecture by making this an amazing date."

he's only further emboldened by your request, slowing down his speed to match yours before bringing your intertwined hands to his lips. "anything for you, sweets."

to no one's surprise, satoru is a man of his word and brings you around on a carefully curated visit to what he deems to be the highlights of the park's attractions. first, he takes you to the tallest rollercoaster in the park and not so secretly enjoys it when your grip around him tightens with each drop. next stop is apparently the large ferris wheel in the middle of the park grounds where he slips the attendant some yen to allow you guys to cut to the front of the line, much to the complaints and annoyed stares of the rest of the people queueing up for their turn. while you are busy admiring the atmosphere and scenery of the park from a much higher perspective thanks to the ride, satoru manages to successfully steal some kisses from you and snaps many discrete photos of you that will definitely appear as his lock screen very shortly after today. once the ride arrives at a stop, you spot a cart selling colourful wads of cotton candy and without even needing to say a word, he gives you a nod as the two of you sprint to buy some. you get a blueberry-flavoured one while he gets a strawberry flavoured and somehow, those colours end up staining your tounges with them even miraculously turning purple as the day goes on.

when you start to inevitably get tired from the constant walking around, satoru eagerly offers to carry you around to which you can barely mutter a small protest before he sweeps you up in his arms and onto his back. he did try to offer to carry you around in a princess carry but already after fighting off moments where you felt like your heart was going to give out from his teasings and flirtations and withering stares from the single people that passed you guys, you successfully bashfully turn him down.

finally, or what you assume to be the final stop, satoru leads you to the carousel as the two of you lean against the barricade of the ride. tired, but not exhausted, from the day's activities, a wistful sigh escapes you as you watch the fluorescent lights of the carousel twinkle while it spins. he turns towards you, his classic sunglasses on the verge of falling off his nose.

"so, are you having fun and feeling more relaxed now?" he asks, eagerly awaiting your response. you give him a simple nod and grin as you take the sunglasses off of his face, allowing you to drink in his features and the youthful glow that tints his face, sliding them onto your own head. watching your small antics always makes his heart flutter and his smile grows wider, no matter how small or silly the act is. he soon spots a couple passing by, flagging them down, much to your confusion, as he hands them his phone before asking them to take a photo for you guys as a keepsake. as they start the countdown for the photo, satoru suddenly lifts you up into a sudden kiss as you melt into his touch instinctively. once he slowly drops you down back to your feet, they hand him his phone back and wish the two of you the best. before you can even ask to see the picture, his expression suddenly drops as he notices the time.

"wait! we have somewhere to be!" is all he says before taking your hand into his and breaking off into a light sprint in god knows what direction.

obviously struggling to keep up with his pace with his long limbs making him move at what feels like an impossibly fast speed and still confused from the sudden change in pace, you manage to ask. "what do you mean, toru?"

seemingly paying no mind to your question or the crowd in front of the two of you as he pushes his way through the crowd, with you trailing behind him. in the midst of the evergrowing noise, you hear him shout back at you "it's a surprise! come on, we need to get a good spot!"

deciding that you're probably not going to get an answer until satoru finds the so-called "good spot" that he is looking for, you let him pull you through the crowds right to the front of the pier overlooking the lake of the park. with his arms on either side of you, he gives you a gentle nudge before whispering in your ears "look up." as you do, the evening sky suddenly breaks out into an explosion of colours as a bunch of fireworks are launched above the park, the clear lake beneath it creating a mesmerising reflection of the nighttime show above. you can't help but let a sound of awe escape your lips as you watch, transfixed by how the dark blue of the evening sky is the perfect backdrop for such a display.

"it's perfect, satoru." you remark, "thank you, from the bottom of my heart."

the look on your face and the glimmer of joy are absolutely priceless and in that moment, satoru thinks to himself how he would forever immortalise this moment in his memories. "like i said earlier, anything for you sweets."

[baeddel]

long post abt accessability in games, DMC3, DS1, and control schemes

games like God of War or Devil May Cry can be inaccessible because they have inputs which require button mashing, which is difficult for someone with arhritis or other problems that affect their hands and wrists. but these inputs are generally not required to beat the game; you have a lot of options, so you can just avoid using any move that's too difficult. the main issue is that these games become more demanding the further into the game you want to go; keeping a combo going in DMC requires a very high apm and use of the entire controller, so a person with a motor disability will hit a wall eventually.

this is a design problem which i think is difficult to analyze. DMC starts from a very unique design—it has a huge number of moves, almost all of which are accessible out of neutral rather than hidden at the end of an attack string—which it has to pay for by using a large number of unique inputs (forward + attack, back + attack, forward then back + attack, hold shoot to charge, hold devil trigger to charge [charges can be buffered]). it introduces a lot of complexity, but it's actually less complexity right away than other action games; instead of having to memorize a long list of complicated strings (cf. Bayonetta's Punch, Punch, Kick, Kick, pause, Kick, which is different from Punch, Punch, Punch, Kick, Kick, pause, Punch [click]—have fun with those!), you can learn attack, shoot, devil trigger, then forward attack, hold shoot... etc., one at a time, and mix them into your play and find out when they're good. its combo system is not just complex but also discoverable; players can try out how its different pieces fit together without opening the movelist.

but once a player already knows all the moves, the game starts to ask more and more out of them. not only do you want to use all of the inputs one after the other very fast (try jump cancelling Beowulf's Killer Bee into another Killer Bee for the first time—pretty tough, right? and all you're pressing there is X and △! the inputs get harder!), but since your charge moves can be buffered, you also want to hold O and L1 to charge your shot and devil trigger for when you might need them, and you might also want to lock-on by holding R1. when watching a really good player playing with an input viewer it's not uncommon to see every single button on the controller light up at the same time. doing that stuff is really fucking hard.

so far we don't have any problems; it's a picture perfect picture of a system that's 'easy to use, hard to master,' right? but because the thing thats hard to do in this case is input a lot of buttons at once on a physical controller, we've just frozen out any players with hand/wrist problems or motor issues from high level play, at least without adapting the game somehow. this is a problem that's difficult to predict, difficult to foresee, and difficult to design around; i don't see how you could fix it without making DMC a completely different game than what it is.

so if you started from the premise of designing a game that was accesisble to people with hand/wrist and motor issues (including suckers like me who played a bunch of high apm games like DMC and Runescape and fucked up their wrist), you'd have to come up with something pretty different at a very fundamental level.

this is why Dark Souls is, in a lot of ways, a VERY ACCESSABLE action game. what do i mean? its control scheme is extremely simple. once you press every button on the controller you've learned everything you're going to learn about it (apart from one very non-obvious hard-coded universal cancel, but don't worry about it). all you have to do is dodge or block the other's guys attack and then hit him with yours.

there's a lot of ways that DeS/DS1 approached the action genre differnetly to other games, but right now i'm only going to highlight one: the kind of 'questions' DS is asking its player. if you think about DMC, what is DMC trying to get the player to do? while you can beat the game with one or two simple combos, the system is obviously made in a way that encourages freedom and flexibility, and the game has systems to reward long, varied combos (the 'style' rating). and that's all it wants you to do (apart from in a couple of levels where they want you to do platforming—ugh!). to accomplish this, they lock you in a room with some enemies and only let you out when you beat them all.

in Demon's Souls the main thing they want you to do is navigate complicated dungeons that are full of traps; some levels have mazes in them, and lots of traps kill you instantly. it's similar to Kings Field, which its a spiritual successor to, but it's also similar to other early 3d RPGs: Deathtrap Dungeon, Die by the Sword, Dungeon Lords... (in one interview Miyazaki said part of his job was to play a bunch of 'open world RPGs' for research, and i imagine that included some of these old, weird games; the first dungeon in Dungeon Lords has a rafter-walking section with projectile-shooting enemies, chain-pulley mechanical elevators and highly damage-resistant slimes). they also want you to kill enemies. but the game never forces you to kill these enemies; you're never locked in a room until you kill all the enemies, and enemies never have items that are necessary to progress in the level. enemies are just one obstacle among others. consequently, enemy encounters are designed in a certain way that makes avoiding them difficult and approaching them complex. an enemy that throws firebombs will stand at the top of a long, narrow staircase, forcing you to dodge them on the way up; two enemies will stand behind a doorway and, if you run in blindly, will both attack you from behind. things like that. it was hard to avoid enemy encounters in Demon's Souls because the levels involved suffocatingly narrow corridors and the enemies followed you forever. but it was possible and sometimes desirable. in DS1 running by enemies is often preferable and, with foreknowledge of the level, always possible. it's also a lot easier as enemies don't follow you very far anymore (this change was patched into the game after release).

running and jumping both consume stamina, as do dodging, blocking, and attacking. getting hit costs hitpoints, and falling off a ledge costs all your hitpoints. both aspects of the game (navigation and combat) use all of the same resources, and engaging in combat is generally one of a few options the player has to navigate an area. it is, a lot of the time, by far the easiest option, but most players will find a few areas that they hate enough to always run through. one of the messages players can leave to each other is 'try dashing through.' the game rewards you for killing enemies by giving you souls and loot drops, but it also punishes you for making mistakes by leaving you down on resources—less health, fewer estus, and fewer spellcasts—so the best thing to do at any given time is difficult to analyze.

the questions DS is asking its players, therefore, is to familiarize themselves with the level, come up with a plan, conserve their own resources and make it out with the loot. at lower levels of play the game is mostly about succeeding at lots of combats and navigating lots of traps over a long distance without making too many small mistakes. then, at high levels of play, the gameplay is mostly about movement, exploiting the game's verticality and taking advantage of holes in the enemy placement. but the change from low to high levels of play mostly takes place in the mind of the player, not their hands; they understand the levels better, they are better able to respond to things which were previously unpredictable to them, and they have more confidence in their ability to do what is needed of them.

so our game not only starts off very accessible to players with hand/wrist or motor problems, but it finishes there too. although, i've gone a little too far: the player's hands will change a bit as they improve at the game. like Monster Hunter, the best way to play Dark Souls is to have a claw grip in both hands; the thumbs should operate the analogue sticks, the index finger should operate the d-pad (for toggle escales, the universal cancel i mentioned, as well as changing spells) and the face buttons (for rolling, using items, interacting with doors and items), and the remaining digits manipulating the shoulders/triggers (for attacks, blocks and parries). while running, you want to hold L1 (block) so you can roll (circle) out of a run without jumping. this might be hard for you depending on your condition, but i don't think it's that much worse than holding a controller the regular way.

anyway, the point is this: you might want to think about making your game accessible not just to the general player with disabilities, but to the 'hardcore' player with disabilities. do you want disabled people to not only beat your game, but be really good at it? how would you design systems to accomodate that? i've talked about hand/wrist and motor issues here because it's what i was thinking about (and some games, like Runescape, aren't really accessible to me anymore thanks to my wrists, at least in the way i used to play them), but there are other disabilities you could probably design around. imagine a player who has CFS or ADHD in a way that keeps them from practicing consistently; could you make a game that is rewarding for such a player to try and get really good at nonetheless? Runescape (conceived of competitively, ie. racing to the leaderboard &c) was good for players with certain kinds of disabilities and neurotypes since it required a huge amount of time and dedication, it really rewarded being unemployed, LOL. but what if there was a game that somehow rewarded inconsistency? who knows...

anyway, i'm saying how i tend to think about it as a rebuttal to the way i see most people talk about accessibility in games, which is merely playing games. thus Dark Souls can be criticized for being difficult for a new player to complete, for example. but this always struck me as a bewildering way to talk about games. plenty of disabled people don't just want to complete games, they want to be good at them. and disabled people can and do become good at games and compete and win at them. so the question for me is not so much 'how do i make a game someone with this disability could play?' but 'how do i make a game someone with this disability would want to master?'—a game which doesn't create headaches for them, which works with rather than against them, and which they actually enjoy at all levels of play.

[saintarthur01]

✩Writeblr Intro✩

✩About the Author✩

Hello there ! I am Arthur and I am a writer who decided to make a separate blog just for my works and such. My main blog is @saintv0id if you are interested for whatever reason. I go by either Arthur or Void on here whichever is fine. I go by she/her and am also demiromantic

I like anything fantasy and fiction, and other such things like renaissance festivals, the medieval and renaissance periods, I like collecting bugs and bones, and I love musicians like Hozier, Tamino, Florence, and Noah Kahan

✩About this blog✩

• This blogs purpose is for my writings/stories and whatever relates to them, like OC intros, lore revealing, or really whatever takes place in my world

• I am open to any asks, questions, or msgs, or even recommendations if ya wanna know anything or submit something, please do so

• All stories and writings on here are all within the same world/universe that i have built, they are all connected one way or another

✩About how my stories work✩

• Again all of my stories take place in the same world, which I have called Allra, so all of my stories together will be called The Chronicles of Allra

• If you are interested in the basic lore and history behind Allra, I will soon have a post up with all the info, I will add the link here once updated and completed

• Allra is heavily influenced and based around Norse mythology, although all characters and lands are original, they are inspired by the norse mythos and the norse mythos are even implemented into the world’s history somewhat

• Some stories will be multiple parts and others will be just short stories involving random characters within the world and some will have a bigger impact then others

✩About my WIPS✩

Prince Killer:

• Genre: Fantasy & Adventure

• Warnings: Murder, hints of emotionally abusive family (will update if the list expands)

• Tropes: Magic, found family, retelling with a twist, major angst, royalty, fighting against prophecy & destiny, morally grey MC, family rivalry, major symbolism

• Main & Side Characters: Locke Ambrose, Caradoc Ambrose, Kailen Skaesun, Elwin Ambrose, Toke Ambrose (There’s more but those 5 are really the ones that need to be noted)

• Summary: In a world that was reborn after the events of Ragnorak, history seems to repeats itself as the King of Konunheim hears word from one of his trusted prophesiers that his son, Caradoc, will die by another’s hand by a simple arrow made from a harmless plant and if this were to occur the world may break out into another war and destroy itself. Assuming his last born, Locke, may be the killer due to his certain ways and dislike of his brother, he demands for his punishment and a way to keep Caradoc safe. While the other nine courts are splitting apart over the idea of a apocalyptic war, the two brothers now have to find a way for one of them to be pardoned and the other to not die while also preventing a war, and maybe even find out if Locke actually has intentions to kill his brother and follow through with prophecy or keep Caradoc safe…

(other works are in progress, I will update this list as I work on them more)

[talenlee]

The Fundamentalist As Liar

Earlier this year I wrote about Michael Winger, a truly awful stain of a man with a more successful Youtube channel than mine so who’s so big and smart now huh and I wrote about that man’s particular tendency to claim sight unseen the illegitimacy of positions against him. What this usually means is that he argues that Atheists aren’t really Atheists, because,

then he presents a list of unconvincing reasons and eventually cooks down to ‘they just want to sin.’ Like, one of the favourites of this position is the idea that look, all the things you want to say about the arguments that have convinced you, those things aren’t that important because they’re just a smokescreen, a rhetorical assertion that stands in place because there’s a real, simple, emotional demand: I believe this because I want to believe this.

And I think, based on experience and reading a lot of these ding dongs’ writing reaching back two centuries, that uh, that’s because that’s how their worldview works, so they assume it’s how everyone’s does.

The Fundamentalist Christian is a liar who believes everyone believes lies.

I haven’t done any kind of comprehensive study. I haven’t met every Christian Fundamentalist. What I have to offer on this is the story of my experience and also my experience of all the people I’ve met since who slotted neatly into the mental software I was already running. Software is the best comparison I can make, where the fundamentalist viewpoint is a platform that runs some pretty reliable programs on top of it. Those programs are great, and you know it’s an operating system since it can run conflicting programs alongside one another without necessarily having any kind of fault in memory handling. My point is that I can open up any apologist channel in the year of our lord 2024 and hear one of the same small pool of bullshit narratives presented with the same bullshit assumptions built into them.

When you see the arguments used over and over again, when you correct flaws in the argument, over and over again, you quickly lose the ability to imagine that these people are aware of what they’re arguing and whether or not the argument is just a cloak of words they throw over how they feel about things. There are some really egregious cases of it, such as Ken Ham and Kent Hovind, who have been making the same arguments my entire life and contend with correction by ignoring it and repeating the same script when you’re not in the room.

But there’s also the apologetics of those who want to be seen as serious or big thinkers, the kinds of nobodies who think that they have the presence and awareness to attack actual scholarship, and they dress themselves up with a sense of seriousness, a sort of vast pomp that gets really pissy when you remind them that the book they’re trying to argue is infallible has a zombie apocalypse and multiple talking animals in it. ‘Well you would bring those up,’ they sneer as if reminding them of things that are true is somehow a low blow, an unfairness in the conversation. Oh, you, you’ve shown how unsophisticated you are by pointing out a book full of obvious fictions has obvious fictions in it, and if that was all this is that would work! It is pretty dumb to treat a book of folklore as if it’s a history textbook and demand it hold to that standard!

But they usually get around to admitting they think the talking animals are real.

There’s this one that’s really famous because there’s a serious-sounding condescending prick named William Lane Craig promoting it, the ‘Kalam Cosmological Argument.’ The argument runs as follows:

Everything that exists has a cause

The universe exists

Therefore the universe has a cause

And people keep looking at this and going: Well hang on, hang on, what says the universe has a cause? what about uncaused events? What about philosophical infinities? what about- when the much simpler response is ‘that’s fucking stupid.’ Because they don’t mean ‘the universe has a cause, period,’ they mean ‘the universe has a cause,’ deep breath, then subtle mumbling, ‘and that cause is the Christian god who I personally believe in as the best explanation for everything.’

And so you have this seriousness being used to adorn and address something which is really just being used to smuggle not into the idea of an actual philosophical point but rather recentre on this person’s fanfiction interpretetation of a few divine figures in a book of folklore in which, again, there are talking animals, unicorns, a global flood and a bunch of lies about prophecy.

Oh yeah, the lies about prophecy. Man, Christians love talking about how much prophecy Jesus fulfilled. They’ll tout lists, which they then are confident you won’t look at because if you do you find they’re very unsatisfying and tend to include things that haven’t happened yet. But more damning than that is if you look at the prophecies and go back to where they say they’re from, and then ask, say, a Rabbi who speaks the language of the book, you’ll find that uh, actually, that’s not what the Bible is about.

And then they introduce the idea of dual prophecies where there’s a prophecy about this thing that happened and the Rabbi’s version of events is true and supported, and then the other version with the rewritten words is actually also about Jesus, and please ignore the way that again, they change the wording. And this is serious. This is serious adults who get mad at you for not respecting their obvious fucking scam bullshit, because they believe it.

And they probably do!

That’s one of the funniest things about liars, they tend to wind up believing their lies. Oh sure they’ll know they made things up but the lie doesn’t sit in the brain over time and eventually they rewrite it, over and over, until eventually they’re not really lying, they’re basically telling the truth, they were telling the truth, and I don’t know what you mean about rewritten words. And then they’ll remember you as being rude or hostile or sad or angry and oh look at that they don’t have to worry about whatever it was you said. This is very consistent behaviour.

You may have heard this phrase, the idea that one’s faith is being tested. This is the idea that having to confront that reality sucks is a direct contest with the faith that people embrace. ‘You just gotta believe’ and ‘fake it till you make it.’ And what do they do about it? They lie. And any time you talk to someone about this kind of testing, they’ll usually say something like ‘well everyone is tested like that,’ which nobody seems to think is a problem. Like, hey, is it that universal that everyone winds up seeing mistakes and then everyone tells themselves it’s no big deal? It has the same energy as a person asserting ‘well look I’m straight and as a straight person I’m sure we all want to kiss that person of the same gender as me, that’s obvious’ and you have to be like okay, you know what that means right?

The assertation that people know what’s wrong rather than that they’ve proven wrong is very satisfying if your entire moral framework is based around your personal disgust. This means you wind up with a social framework that doesn’t just say ‘you’re right,’ but asserts even further, you are default. Christians Fundamentalists are so used to this default status it smooths over their fucking brains. The arguments don’t need consideration they just assert themselves, and then lie to themselves afterwards about the questions.

This is why they think so many things that people can’t readily choose are choices, and then that choices that people make are illegitimate because they veer away from the default.

Every Christian chooses what parts of the Bible to ignore. Even Fundamentalists. The Christians who aren’t Fundamentalists ignore that the Fundamentalists they claim to despise are using the same book and know it better than they do. And I mean this, they all choose what to ignore. For example, one of the most bananas things I’ve ever heard from a fundamentalist is that no, slavery isn’t bad, and it’s not bad because God told them how to do it, so clearly he’s okay with it which means it doesn’t follow at all, even in the American South that slavery was bad. Which is pretty amazing to consider because that’s a guy who doesn’t choose to lie to himself about that part of the book.

(Don’t worry, he’s got other bits he’s making shit up about.)

It was a breathtaking claim. After he said it I asked him how mum was doing, and he told me she’s doing fine and he looks forward to seeing me again soon.

Been a few weeks stewing on that one.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[yournaothings]

Chilling With the Murder Time Trio!

"Hey, everyone! I have some great news!" Killer cheered as he regarded his audience. "Boss said I can invite one lucky fan to hang out with us for the day! So!" Killer clapped his skeletal hands together as he grinned wide and neared the camera until all his audience could see was one leaking hate, dark eye socket.  "I'm going to pick a random fan and bring you here!" He backed away to raise his arms and gesture towards their temporary house.  

"It'll be simple! All you have to do is list my best qualities in the chat! Whichever I find to my liking wins! Okay, ready? Start!" 

Killer cackles as he rubs his hands together, watching his chat go feral. All the compliments came piling in, it was a bit difficult to read all of them, but there was one that stood out the most. Killer points and calls out their name. "Congratulations! You get to hang out with me!" Killer turns away for a moment, looking off to the side and raises his voice.  "Boss! Boss! I picked one~!" 

A faint exasperated sigh was caught on the audio before Nightmare steps into frame beside Killer. He glares at the camera, looks at Killer and sighs again. "You realize that I was being sarcastic-" "Aw, come on, Boss! This kid won fair and square! It's only for a day!" Nightmare frowns, his one good eye light glaring before he rolls his eye light and turns back to look at the chat. "Whatever, you better not cause me trouble." 

While Nightmare worked on ripping the [un]lucky fan from their universe and to theirs, Killer cheers and grins at his camera for his audience to see.  "We're going to have so much fun!" 

--

"Mm~ cheeseburgers~!" Horror hummed excitedly as he grabbed the two burgers he just finished making before raising one to his mouth and taking a deliciously large bite. Sure, he had just eaten his favorite sandwich not too long ago, and maybe some yummy chips after.  His tummy rumbled, demanding delicious cheeseburgers!  If the others were in the kitchen with him, they would surely call him "fatty" and proceed to tease and mock him for his never ending hunger. 

"Oh- yes~ Now, that hits the spot!" He moans happily, the burger was just so delicious! "Oh!" He paused as he turned towards the fridge, remembering he wanted ketchup on his burgers! He set his burgers down on the counter before pulling open the large fridge- 

As soon as he opened the fridge doors, a human fell out, shivering and teeth chattering. "Huh?! What's a human doing in the fridge?! I didn't put them in there... Did I?" Forgetting the ketchup for the moment, Horror leaned down and picked the shivering up by their shoulders and lifted him above him so he could examine them.  "What were you doing in the fridge, human?" 

The human shivered and shuddered, their voice shaky as they spoke to Horror.  "W-Was pull- pulled through p-portal-! N-Nightmare a-and Kil-Killer..!" 

Well.. That didn't make any sense. Horror hummed in wonder as he remained holding the human, trying to figure out the strange explanation the human gave him-

"Horror!" 

"Huh?" Horror glanced over his shoulder to find Killer rushing into the kitchen; Killer pointed at Horror, no- he pointed at the human.  "That's mine! I had the Boss bring them here! They're supposed to hang out with us today!" Horror hummed in question as he glanced between the human and Killer, before finally looking at the human again. "But, why? We never play with the humans before. We've always killed them." 

"Not this time, Horror! Well, I don't plan to kill them, yet~ hehehe~" Killer giggled and pulled one of his knives out from his jacket to flash it around, threateningly. The human tensed, their gaze focused on the knife Killer waved around, and neared both them and Horror.  "P-Please don't kill me!" Killer snickered once more, waving his free hand towards them in dismissal and putting his knife away.  "I'm not gonna kill you, human. You won fair and square! You get to have lots of fun with us; the Murder Time Trio! I have plenty in store for you before we dispose of you!" 

"That.. Doesn't make me feel any better, you know." The human sighed, their shoulders becoming sore the longer Horror held onto them. "Can you perhaps, put me down now? You're kind of hurting me... Please?" 

"Oh! Oh, yeah! Here you go, friend." Horror said as he sat the human on the counter and patted their head. "You're gonna have a lot of fun with us! We're great- well, I'm pretty great. The others, not so much." Horror boasted while striking a pose and pressing his hand against his ribcage, his grin wide and his eyelights closed. 

It was very strange to see a skeleton closing their.. Eye sockets... Watching them doing it on their stream was just as weird as seeing it in person. The human had the urge to reach out and touch Horror's cheekbones. "Hey!" Killer's snappy voice startled the human. He was suddenly in front of both the human and Horror, his knife in hand again as he pointed the knife at Horror's face.  "I'm the greatest! Besides, the human is apart of my audience! Clearly, they like me better!" 

"Nuh uh!" Horror huffed as he crossed his arms over his ribcage and leaned down to give Killer a threatening glare, ignoring the knife. Killer could try to stab Horror, but Horror would just toss him aside like always. He could lock Killer away in the closet while Horror had fun with the human. "The human clearly likes me more!"  "What?! They literally just told you that you were hurting them! How could they like you if you were hurting them?!"  "It was an accident- besides. If you had them brought here, why were they in the fridge?" 

Killer paused, leaning back propping his balled up fists on his pelvis.  "The human was in the fridge? Are you sure you didn't put them there? There's no way the Boss put them there!" 

"It's true, I was sitting at my desk, and the next moment, I was in there." The human said, pointing at the fridge. "To be honest, I didn't think you were being serious. I'm pretty sure this is a fever dream- like, maybe my sandwich was bad and I passed out or something? Maybe I choked on the food and died?" 

Killer and Horror stared at the human, slowly blinking while letting the silence linger for an uncomfortably long ten to fifteen seconds. "Is that what you think happened?" Horror asked slowly.  "Eh, think what you want. As long as you play along! I'm bored, and you're my cure of said boredom!" 

"Well," The human's cheeks blossomed with a reddening blush, feeling silly now.  "L-Like I said, I didn't think you were serious."  Killer narrowed his eye sockets, his knife pointed towards the human now.  "Did you even mean what you said in the chat? Cause I can have the Boss take you back and I can pick someone else!" 

"W-What?! Of course I meant what I said! Killer, you're freaking cool, man. I mean, not as cool as Dust, but-" 

"Dust?! You think Dust is cooler than me?! What the fuck, man!" Killer cried and laid the back of his hand that still held his knife against his forehead, as he dramatically and sarcastically whined about his human guest liking Dusty Musty Rusty better than him! 

"Hehe, that's hilarious. I like 'em. I wanna keep 'em." Horror snickered, before he went back to eating his burgers. He smacked his.. Well, he made chewing smacking noises before he spoke with his mouth full of food.  "Don't send them away, mmmh." Horror chewed some more before swallowing his mouthful of food.  "You're my friend now, wanna burger?" He handed the second burger to the human, who hesitantly reached out to grab the offered burger, before Horror pulled it away.  "Hah! Just kidding! Silly willy~ I never share my food, hah!" 

"What the hell are you two doing in here?" Dust appeared behind Horror, rubbing at his eye sockets and yawned.  "You two are so loud, I just wanted to take my nap.. Why is there a human in the kitchen?" Dust asked and glared at the human guest before turning his glare towards Horror.  "I'm not eating a human for dinner, Horror."  

"What?! They're not for dinner!" Killer snapped, his knife now pointing and making a stabbing motion towards Dust.  "They're here to play with us!" 

"Yeah~ the human won some silly contest Killer made up and actually convinced the Boss to bring them here! Hehe~ They got stuck in the fridge, though." Horror explained in between his chewing.  Dust remained silent, his glaring gaze shifting between Killer and Horror before he shrugged, turning on his heel and trying to make his escape.  "I'm not apart of this-"  "The human likes you better~" Horror snickered, knowing that that might make Dust stay.  "Killer is pretty upset about it, heh." 

That little bit of information did make Dust pause, before he slowly turned back around to look at Killer's fuming glare, then to the embarrassed human who still sat on the counter. Killer was literally about to explode, this was his human! They liked him! That's why they said such wonderful things about him in the chat!   [Annoying and idiotic, stabby, and murderous. Yet, cool.]

"Reeaaallly~?" Dust chuckles as he walks over to the human, shoving Killer aside with a little too much force that was necessary.  "You think I'm cooler than Killer? I suppose that's alright. But, the moment you become annoying, I'm going to kill you and steal your EXP."  

The human tensed and gave Dust an uneasy smile.  "I-I'll try not to be annoying, Dust. For you." 

"Hey!" Killer shouted, startling the human, and catching Dust and Horror's attention.  "You're supposed to like me! You're here for me!" Killer stomped his foot in his little tantrum. The human was startled enough, that they leaned back, scared Killer was going to harm them- only to lay their hand down where they thought the counter would be, but met nothing but the air and fell off of the counter and hit the floor. They hit their face, smashing their nose against the tiled floor and causing them to have a bloodied nose. 

Dust started to cackle and point at the human, laughing at their pain. Horror chuckled past his mouthful of food.  "Hehe, woopsy!"  Killer sighed and shook his head as he teleported beside the fallen human and crouched down. He pushed the human onto their back, earning him a pained groan from the human, before using the back of his knife to lift their chin.  "From here on out, I think it's wise for you to be aware of your surroundings. Or else you're going to be getting hurt quite a bit." Killer grinned and snickered. 

The human sniffed and made a disgusted face as they felt the blood drip into the back of their throat. They had a moment of regret. This was supposed to be a dream come true, right? Instead, they began to think this was a misfortunate trip that would lead them to their death. Damn their admiration for the Murder Time Trio... 

[thearcaneuniversity]

3, 24 and 25!

Hello dear! <3

3. What were your top five books of the year?

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens I adore character-driven stories, and this novel delivers in spades... Dickens creates such a compelling cast. The backdrop of the French Revolution adds a sense of urgency and grandeur that perfectly complements the intimate human dramas at the novel’s heart. The theme of duality, whether through characters, settings, or moral dilemmas, makes it endlessly fascinating. It’s tragic, moving, and full of moments that I still think of today. As someone who went through a deep dive into the French Revolution and visited Paris right after reading this novel, it really brought history to life in an incredibly intimate way.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov Nabokov’s writing style is a marvel in itself. Every sentence feels meticulously crafted, but this precision made the book a challenge at times; it demands your full attention. The way Nabokov draws you into Humbert Humbert’s mind is both brilliant and deeply unsettling. The contrast between the prose’s elegance and the story’s disturbing content creates a tension that stays with you long after finishing. The book is dark, forcing you to confront uncomfortable truths about the nature of storytelling itself.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt This book has a slow burn quality that made the initial chapters and the last 100 pages or so challenging to get through. Tartt’s prose is rich and descriptive, almost indulgent at times, which required patience. But as the story unfolds, you’re drawn into this insular, cult-like group of classics students who blur the lines between genius and madness. The characters are deeply flawed - pretentious, manipulative, and often cruel - but Tartt writes them with such nuance, while you may not always sympathize with them, you can’t help but feel the weight of their mistakes bearing down on them, page after page. By the time I finished the novel, I found myself haunted by its atmosphere and themes, which is why I felt compelled to revisit it in the original English. It’s a story that lingers, much like the memory of a bad decision that you can’t shake.

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee This multi-generational saga is sweeping in scope but intimate in its portrayal of its characters. Min Jin Lee’s writing is deceptively simple, allowing the complex emotions and historical weight of the story to shine through. The novel explores themes of identity, resilience, and systemic oppression as it follows a Korean family navigating life in Japan. Each character feels vivid and fully realized, from Sunja, the matriarch who makes difficult choices to protect her family, to her descendants, who face new challenges in a society that refuses to accept them. The historical context of Korean-Japanese relations added a layer of depth I hadn’t encountered before, making the story both eye-opening and poignant. The way Lee handles dehumanization and bigotry is masterful—it’s specific to the cultural conflict in the book but also universally relatable, making the injustices feel profoundly real.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde This novel surprised me in many ways. I expected a philosophical exploration of beauty and morality, but what I got was also a gothic, almost sinister tale of corruption and despair. Dorian’s descent into hedonism and moral decay feels like watching a train wreck - you can’t look away. The philosophical debates between Dorian and Lord Henry were both particularly striking and quite annoying at times. Knowing the twists and the ending, I’m eager to reread it, especially in the uncensored version and in English, to better appreciate Wilde’s command of language.

I’m currently reading A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, and I have a strong feeling it might earn a spot on this list. However, since I haven’t finished it yet, I’ll reserve judgment for now.

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

Yes, I attempted to start my BA literature reading list - a collection of all the books I studied during my three-year university program (in preparation for MA studies). Unfortunately, I hit a roadblock with Old English and Anglo-Saxon poetry and couldn’t make much progress. I tried moving on to other works from the list, like Shakespeare, but I kept getting sidetracked by more enticing reads. In the end, I decided to put the list aside for another time.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

To read (or at least familiarize myself with) most of the books from my BA studies.

To read 50 books in 2025, or at least exceed this year’s total of 30 books.

To read at least three more books from my philosophy collection.

To explore more poetry.

Thank you so much for the ask!!!

[vote-democrat-president-congress]

UPI: "The reason in encouraging the changes to ensure election integrity, the Carter Center siad, is that recent U.S. politics have been "tinged with an aggressive anger and virulent rhetoric that threatens to unravel the fabric of our society."

The guidelines listed are:

Making elections a national priority. The center said the nation's election system is critical to American democracy, so it's critical that "election laws and regulations be guided by principles of fairness that preclude partisanship."

Election laws and should be transparent and simple for the public to understand. One way to ensure the health of the nation's election system, the report's authors say, is to be "fully transparent." Saying that states and localities already have made "great strides" in delivering basic election information to voters, the report's authors say, "this work should continue on all aspects of the process, from registration of voters through certification of election results."

Expand access to voter registration. The center and institute said voter registration rules "should be structured to maximize the likelihood that eligible voters can be added to the rolls without complicated rules or restrictions."

Allow ballot casting to be simple for urban and rural populations. The report's authors said policymakers and election officials "should commit to finding a way to treat voters equitably - eschewing both a 'one size fits all' approach ... in favor of one in which there is "attention to ensuring that voters are not disadvantaged in obtaining or casting a ballot relative to others just because of where they live."

Have technology serve as a boost to voters not an obstacle. Noting that voting machines have become increasingly easier to use, the report's authors urge a design approach that would cover all voting technology, "like electronic poll books and ballot-on-demand printers" so that every step of the election process is accessible and flexible for all voters.

Encourage states and local governments that allow early voting to prioritize counting votes before the election. Saying that offering voting options over several days or weeks makes voting more resilient against potential attacks, the center urged that "communities that allow such ballots should have policies ... that ensure that as many as possible of these ballots (if not all of them) will be returned to election officials in time to be processed and counted as soon as reasonably possible." The center said that, ideally, this should occur before ballots are cast in person.

Make sure oversees voters and military personnel are able to be counted quickly. The center and the institute said states and localities should try to avoid unnecessary restrictions on the use of documents, "like the Federal Postcard Application or the Federal Write-In Absentee Ballot."

Keep the process of vote counting transparent and orderly. "Policymakers and election officials must continue to prioritize accuracy even as they strive to complete counts sooner," the report's authors said.

Conduct regular audits of the election process on the municipal level. The center said election officials should use the most up-to-date and available "techniques and best practices" to validate elections' reliability.

Use recognized best practice standards for elections. The report's authors said states and localities also should be open to having "nonpartisan and independent" election observers.

[cookiesupplier]

Catch You When You Fall - Part Three

pairing: Nicholas Ruffilo & ofc (Catherine)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, angst, murder, mystery, smut, mentions of speciesism, mentions of violence, trauma... (to be added.)

summary: A new soul has arrived in the Afterlife. While she appears to adjust just like anyone else might in the new environment of the world of life after death, despite the ordeal she experienced with her death. The question is has she really, and can Nicholas help her without crossing lines that he knows he shouldn't?

Authors Note: Unbeta'd as usual! No Nicholas, but you got A Nick... getting closer!

To find the others in the Hell AU Universe: Combined Hell-Verse Masterlist

If you would like to be added to this tag list please see THIS FORM

tags: @missduffsblog @tearfallpixie @spicywhenspeaking @sorrowsofsilence @wild-child-7747

@lacktoesandtoddlerants @blackveilomens @valiantroeagleangel @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses

@embracethereaper42 @emmmm127 @sunsshinesunny @dominuslunae @xxkittenkissesxx

Cat was slowly working out how to run the register, how to ring up the orders. She managed to make a few orders, simple ones, ones that only coffees. She knew how to use the machine, as it was the same as the one she’d learned to use at her after school job during high school during senior year. Thankfully, the customers had been rather patient with her, so far, well, most of them had been. There had been a few that had been trying, but she was willing to blame the fact that it was this early in the morning and everyone deserved a decent caffeine boost this early in the morning. From what she’d already learned so far this morning from some of the more grumpier customers, not only was this café the only vegetarian establishment in Hell. It also provided them with some of the more unique and sort after blends of coffee.

There were even some customers that came here just for the coffee and nothing else, one man had even made a point to remark he used to never even touch soy milk in his coffee. Ishtar however seemed to have converted him as the coffee she provided was just that good by his opinion. That had amused her. Another lady had chatted her ear off for almost fifteen minutes, causing a bit of a line behind her, while she hummed and haaaa’d over which blend to choose to enjoy with her Vegetarian Eggs Benedict with Spinach and Avocado. Cat had felt horrible because when she tried to ask her about her opinion, she couldn’t help her in the least, as she herself had never tried any of the blends personally. In the end, she had had to go and ask for Ishtar’s help, and she had handled the rest of her order. It would seem this was a common situation with that particular woman, so when Cat had attempted to apologise profusely after Ishtar had finished with her order, she assured her that there was no problem. It wasn’t her fault at all.

After that, Cat continued working at the counter, this time Ishtar taking time to make sure to check in with her while the morning caffeine rush continued along. She did enjoy meeting new people, even if it was only for a moment here and there in most cases. Unfortunately, just when there is another rush of customers which Ishtar was helping her with, Cat was just starting to be overcome with a feeling of being overwhelmed trying to keep up with the orders.

Ishtar could see that Cat was struggling, she had been doing amazing, keeping up so far. Honestly, she had expected that she might have trouble when the rush started to hit in the morning, and that she would need to ask for more help, but so far that had only happened once. Either she was stubborn, or learned quickly but still needed more time to try to adjust to the new system and get used to everything. In both cases, Ishtar could tell that she was having some problems with some orders with how quickly they were coming and how demanding some of the customers became at this time of day. She didn’t blame her for that at all, Ishtar herself found it frustrating the way some of them behaved. 

Trying to take as many of the customers on herself that she could, making a note to definitely switch Kera schedule from bussing the tables and putting her full-time on the counter and not just helping as needed. That had been the plan when she started work tomorrow, Ishtar happily hired her the moment she finally quit the bar, she’d been supporting her in doing so ever since she left herself but never wanted to force her hand. As it was, it would obviously be better for all of them if they put an extra person on the counter anyway. It was starting to get so much more intense with the morning rush, the café hadn’t actually been open that long, only a few weeks, and the morning rush was so much more than she expected already. Ishtar had thought it would take much longer to become this popular.

Just as she was about to excuse herself from the line of customers in front of her to check on Cat again, she spied someone coming in, and she lit up.. Sunshine! Smiling the moment she saw Nick, the returning smile that came, she saw him slipping down the side of the line. Yes, she noted the couple of disgruntled frowns at him by-passing the line, but he wasn’t just a customer, they would just have to go along with it. If they didn’t like it, that was their choice, she didn’t care at this point, he was here for her, not them.

“Hey Nick, could you just wait a moment I just need to check on Cat, I-”

Before she could even finish, however, he was shaking his head, planting his hands on the counter top, leaning over it with a smile and kissing her cheek quickly,

“You keep working, I got this Princess, I’ll help Cat.”

He assured her with a bright smile from her boyfriend and soul bonded, who was here for his usual morning coffee and breakfast wrap that she had made and put aside from him like it always was. Truth was, she made his wrap for him at home, every morning it was all ready, and it could take it to work directly from there. They’d moved together shortly after they bonded, but no, he liked to come in to the café every morning, called it his routine. Watching Nick head around the counter to help Cat with the orders that were rushing in, she smiled, he was as sweet as always.

Folio bound around the counter, rolling his eyes at any of the disgruntled stares of people that didn’t realise who he was here. They obviously thought he was just a stray customer who thought he could get uppity and walk right in, taking advantage of something, well, he was, but it was the owner, so, enough said. You’d think that they’d figure out him walking right behind the counter after talking directly to Ishtar, but from of the stink eye glares, some, were just that dense, or entitled, either way, he didn’t care. All he cared about, was making sure Cat was okay, because Cat was new and Ishtar wanted to make sure she was doing alright. She wasn’t just new to the café, she was new to Hell all around, and that could have an effect. He’d heard all about Cat from his Princess already.

“Hi! I’m Folio, the boss’s more raggedy other half, so, how can I help, where have we gone lost?”

Cat was standing at the register, she was the one taking the orders as the rush had picked up, while the others were filling them. However, this needling feeling the more they had gotten irate with her, she would like to be able to just finish one order on her own, just one. Going back and forth, and having to rely on the others, yes she was just learning, and it was her first day, but some orders were so simple, surely just one she could do on her own? One of the simple cups of coffee, maybe? She knew how to use the machine, she’d been filling a few with the orders earlier, hadn’t she? She’d proved she could do at least that much, as simple as they had been those, she could do them, if they became too complicated, she’d pass them off. Still, the orders, they were coming in so fast she was lucky if she could take them and the payment before the others had already completed them. Yes she knew she should be happy she was a part of a team, and she was, she was, but sometimes, she wanted to be able to do something right now, and it just flustered her a little.

She knew it was a bit much, of course she knew, and her cheeks flushed with the frustration at both the situation and herself as she glanced at the man that was looking at her expectantly. When she struggled for a moment, he spoke again,

“Come on now, I’m here to help.”

That was when the demon at the front of the line spoke up about his order, sounding irate, and the very happy sounding Folio seemed to give him a look and Cat raised an eyebrow,

“Look, dude, can’t you see she’s just starting here? You want your caffeine fix that bad, go see Mitch or Ishtar.. I know, I know, you’ll miss my pretty face, and that is just a dog gone shame, but don’t be a dick about it.”

Cat had to giggle at the funny green shade the demon's grey skin went before he moved over to Ishtar to get his order filled after Folio’s remark, and he turned back to her. 

“Technically they are supposed to pay me, and then go to Ishtar and Mitch to get their orders filled right now.”

Folio grinned,

“They’ll figure it out, trust me, they are smart like that, just like we’ll figure out what’s going on with you. You’re stuck on something, problem with the register, what?”

She felt silly admitting to him what her actual issue was when it wasn’t really a problem. For a second, she felt her chest get tight as he helped her step aside so that Ishtar could move towards the register to help one of the customers pay for the order she had just completed for them. “I can do this, I know, I swear I can do this, I was doing it before.. I can even make the coffee, the machine is just like the one we used at my after school job, and I-”

Cat swallowed, shaking her head quickly and dipping it forward, she felt so stupid freaking out right now.. She’d worked jobs like this before, she had, not for years though, years, why was it so hard this time?

“Okay?”

“It’s just going so fast, I know Ishtar said I only need to take their orders and pass them onto Mitch and her and when I get faster more comfortable, and there is less of a rush I would be able to fill orders myself, but I-”

Then she saw him grin bright, like something had sparked in him.

“You want to make someone's order again. You’ve been seeing all the cranky faces, and you just want to see a happy one, one order. I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Feel like I’ve done something, yes! It’s my first day and all I’ve done is push buttons on a machine like a robot. I feel useless.”

She felt awful, and stupid, and she was well aware she was being ridiculous okay, she was, and looking over to the others working so well behind the counter, maybe Bryce was right, she didn’t belong here at all.. She should just go back to the library with her books, where she belonged. 

“Oh please, Ishtar doesn’t think like that, you aren’t a robot, you’ve been looking after the money, at the end of the day, if that draw is still in balance, promise me you’ll come back tomorrow, okay? Now.. I have an idea for an order you can fill, the most important order anyone can possibly fill that comes in, comes in every morning, mine. What is even better, is it’s already half done. And guess what you have to do to finish it, other than making my coffee?” Cat looked towards him almost warily at the bright and intense smile on his face, it really was infectious though, and after a moment she couldn’t help but smile just a little towards him,

“I- ”

Why did she feel like she already knew exactly what he was going to say? Especially when after a moment that smile grew just a little bit too cheeky for him to be about to say anything that didn’t have specific meaning, and she just-

“Press buttons?”

Her voice so quiet, but she couldn’t even say she wasn’t half about to start laughing. Cat didn’t know if it was because she felt like it was because she wanted to cry with frustration, or that this entire situation was just so ridiculous that she didn’t know what to think.

“There you go, you got it.. Come on, let me show you how to finish making it.. Ishtar’s already finished most of it. She makes it at home and brings it in because I always like to visit her at work before I go to work. I know I could just eat at home, but it’s kind of our tradition, our first date you see, she broke my nose, I bought her a breakfast wrap-”

“Oh my god!”

Cat couldn’t help but utter under her breath at how fast this guy was talking, and him talking about his first date with Ishtar, she broke his nose. Folio had definitely not been the kind of man that Cat had imagined when Ishtar mentioned her boyfriend earlier that morning when she arrived. The fact he was the one dating the demoness was such a surprise. Since she’d arrived, she’d had this clear feeling from Bryce and most others that she’d been around, that most demons and humans, kept separate on this kind of level. So to meet these two in what seemed such an intimate committed relationship, it was, yes, surprising! Okay, okay, Folio could be a demon, he could be shape-shifted into a human form like Bryce, but there was something about him that just seemed so, human, maybe it was the way he’d understood, how she felt. How she was freaking out.

Folio showed her how to use the toaster oven and heat up his wrap, the final step to finish it, with, of course, a few presses of some buttons. After that, he gave her his coffee order, which she dutifully made him.

Once she was done with his order, she felt a weight come off her chest.

“I know this was silly, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Absolutely not, it’s not. Cat, this is so much more fun when I can do the dramatic entrance at the gates.. But Welcome to Hell.. you do you.. You are dead, and you need to figure out how to handle it. If this is what you need to do to make sure you have your feet firmly on the ground. You do it. One of my best friends, she knocks people around with a metal baseball bat to get out some aggression to do it. Don’t worry, they’re bad people, they all have to go to punishment, and they are always rude as shit to her first, if they treat us with any respect we just let them go right though.. But the nasty ones, damn.. Yea, you probably came through one of the nice death doors, I work at one of the crappy ones, punishment levels entrance.”

Cat blinked as Folio shook his head, remembering something Bryce had said about the people that worked in the office where she’d have gone if she was sent to be punished. That they weren’t the type of people that she wanted to know, he couldn’t possibly mean someone like Folio? He seemed so nice, and friendly. He’d just helped her through something that felt so silly and frivolous, something she wasn’t sure the demons would understand with the way he spoke about her being dead and needing this to ground her. Bryce had kept trying to push her different ways instead, Folio had just helped her. 

“So how about this, every morning when I come in for my breakfast wrap, until you figure everything out, and get on your feet here. You’re in charge of getting my order ready. I’ll tell Ishtar, okay? Deal?”

Cat paused as she glanced over at Ishtar, not sure if she should accept, this was something that the demoness seemed to do just for her boyfriend, and she didn’t want to step on her toes. However, when her eyes met hers instead of the look of upset she expected, she saw a smile on the other woman's face. She seemed to have heard at least some of the conversation, enough to understand some of it, and saw a nod from her. Her attention turning back to Folio, she accepted his hand back,

“Deal.”

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[encrucijada]

infodump abt pathetic man adam

funniest ask i've ever gotten. no context. anonymous. a simple request.

a list of things i think i haven't talked about regarding adam, some that i have, from both the pjoverse and dreamersverse:

adam is actually pretty decent around kids. he was second in command of the apollo cabin for 5ish years before his brother lee fletcher died in the battle of the labyrinth and he was made counsellor for the battle of manhattan. adam is like that cool older brother in a 90s tv show who lets you drink beer when you shouldn't have.

in both verses he works at a bar. both as a bartender and as entertainment, depends on the day of the week. he does gigs elsewhere when he can. forewent university, didn't think he had the brain for it because of his frankly debilitating adhd. adam barely graduated high school.

weapon of choice in the pjoverse is the recurve bow because son of apollo. is capable of fighting melee (with a sword) if the situation demands it, but just barely. in the dreamersverse it's actually the opposite, he doesn't shoot with a bow at all and prefers to have something he can brute force hit things with.

speaking of debilitating adhd. adam is always fidgeting even if just a little, rarely does his leg stop bouncing and he has a clicker toy he carries in his pocket. plays around with rubix cubes not to solve them but just to spin them around. hums songs as a stim (<- he shares this one with piedad). cannot function without caffeine.

has the talent but not the creativity. can sing just about anything but not write any of his own music.

in the pjoverse he avoids singing in uncontrolled environments, because even having control over his powers he never knows if he could cause some weird side effects. only feels truly unrestrained in battle or at camp.

adam is the way he is because i was trying super hard not to make your typical "golden boy" son of apollo. also because i found the loveless cover of middle of the night. my hand accidentally slipped and now... he's this.

my best friend irl called him "cold, cutting, and prideful".

i dunno about pjoverse adam but dreamersverse adam's got a couple of tattoos. including but not limited to: a sun on his forearm, wings from his shoulder blades to the backs of his arms, a hawk eating a rabbit, three stars on his ribs, and my notes says i'm giving him a sleeve tattoo.

he never participated in a proper quest but he was there for every single bead that's on annabeth's camp necklace. was already at camp when luke first arrived.

his fatal flaw is arrogance ("however bright you shine, i shine brighter")

has a substantial collection of scars as every demigod does but of note we've got: on his cheekbone, going down from his collarbone, the stab scar on his gut. these also translate to the dreamersverse.

the only thing he got from apollo appearance-wise are the eyes. adam tends to let his hair get long until he starts considering it obnoxious, then he asks the aphrodite cabin to cut it. if you're in cabin 7 and have had hairclips gone missing, he probably took them.

if you've read pt.1 of pointed north you know candy calls adam "mi príncipe". this means "my prince."

i might be giving him brown eyes in keep staring.

his last names are flipped depending on the verse! pjoverse he's adam rubio guerra, since rubio means "fair-haired" and i thought it sounded like a child of apollo lastname. in the dreamersverse he's adam guerra rubio, guerra means "war".

has always wanted a dog.

having a weighed blanket would cure him but he doesn't know this. what he does know is he sleeps best when piedad lays on top of him.

broke his nose and it never healed quite right.

never dare him to do something while he's drunk. he will do it, no matter how dangerous it might be. the safest thing he could be doing post-break up is making out with whoever gives him attention while inebriated.