#makes me wonder how he'll change after he remembers everything in part 3... the way he speaks especially

[aggressionbread]

i think the thing i loved about rebirth was going "part 1 cloud would've never done that"

like he's really getting into his odd jobs/mercenary role, and even enjoying himself? and showing that? and he translates a chocobo's little beeps and kwehs?

[sissylittlefeather]

A/N: Ha HA! Another one done! This is the 68 Special one that I promised y'all after the poll. It goes with my series that is currently unnamed, but includes Baby, What's Your Name, Goodnight, Sweetheart and Always, Honey. There are references to all three in here. It takes place before What Kind of Question is That? and Feels Like Forever. This is angstyyy, but the way the story is in my brain, the mid section is that way and the whole story is kind of tragic, in a way. It's very Catherine/Heathcliff (they should be together but can't be for some reason). I didn't set out to write a tragic story, but there ya go. It is what it is. I hope y'all like it anyway!

Also, don't be shy. Let me know what you think! I'd love to hear from you 😁

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut, unprotected sex, p in v sex, kissing, ANGST

Also, I'm using Elvis gifs for this one because I like actual EP here, but if it makes you happy to imagine Austin!Elvis, do you boo-boo.

I Missed You

It's been over 3 years since you last saw Elvis. This is the longest you've been apart since you met all those years ago. You haven't seen him since he got married or became a father. He did all of those things without you and it nearly broke you. Still, you'd had your own marriage happen and fall apart, too. You wondered if you'd ever tell him that it was because of him and the fact that you never could seem to stop loving him.

The year is 1968 and you just got off the phone with a friend of yours who works in Hollywood. According to her, Elvis is going to be recording a new show soon and they're looking for audience members. She called to see if you might be interested in seeing an old friend.

No one really knows what you had with Elvis. Well, no one but your old roommate. Still, despite your long history, he never made you public like his other girlfriends. Maybe it's because keeping you a secret made the romance hotter. Or maybe it's because keeping you a secret meant he could keep you all to himself. Either way, your love affair had always been something that only the two of you really knew about.

But an opportunity to see Elvis again is hard to turn down, even with everything that's happened between you. Perhaps seeing him one last time will give you the closure you need to move on. You decide to call your friend back and see what you need to do to be in that audience.

******

Now that you're here, you start to wonder if this was a good idea. You're sitting in the audience in your new mod-style pink gingham dress with white boots and a white headband. You wonder if he will even see you in the crowd. Will he notice the pink gingham?

Your hands are starting to sweat and you wipe them on your skirt, pulling on it to try to get it to cover more of your thighs. You're not a teenager anymore and this dress is starting to feel a bit ridiculous.

One of the producers of the show comes out to explain to the audience how to react to the "applause" signs. Elvis is coming out soon and you're starting to feel a little sick at the prospect of seeing him. You don't remember the last time you were this nervous.

And then he's there. On the small square stage, right in front of you, in black leather. Your heart jumps and your warm center gets a little warmer. He looks good. Not that you expected him not to, but he looks better than you could've imagined. He breaks into That's Alright Mama and you're instantly transported back to that first show where you threw your panties on the stage to get his attention. You start to laugh a little thinking about what might happen if you did the same thing right now. You'd probably get carried out by a security guard.

He sings 4 songs and then they do a set change to him sitting down with his old band mates for a kind of casual jam session. You're still waiting for him to notice that you're there. Part of you is starting to hope that he'll never notice and you can just slink back onto a plane and go home. Seeing him has enlivened every feeling you've ever had for him and you can't help but have flashbacks to every time he's ever touched you. You long to feel his strong hands on your body, his lips on yours, his fingers and tongue doing unspeakable things between your legs. You squeeze your legs together and pray that you're not going to leave a puddle on your seat.

And then it happens. He's walking around the stage singing again and he kneels just feet from you. You're in the second row, far enough back to be out of reach, but close enough to be visible. He looks out into the audience and your eyes meet. Ever the professional performer, he only freezes for a second when he sees you. You feel like someone dumped ice water down your back and it's suddenly hard to breathe. You want to get up and run out, but you can't. And just when you think he's completely unaffected by you, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then he stands up, turns away from you, and keeps singing.

But he comes back.

He walks around the stage like he's supposed to, but he always comes back to you and keeps his eyes locked onto yours for as long as possible before he has to move. Every time it happens, your heart skips a beat and you start to wonder how much more you can take. Just when you think you might melt from the intensity of his gaze, he leaves the stage and the producer comes back and says that filming is done for the day.

You sit there for a while and let the other people around you file out. Eventually you get up and head for the exit. You're one of the last people in the room as you head for the door. And then you hear someone behind you. You turn, expecting someone to tell you that you need to leave, but no.

It's him.

You stand and stare at each other for a good minute before he speaks. He asks a single question.

"Where can I find you later?"

You want to tell him to go to hell. Instead, you hear yourself say, "Hollywood Hilton, room 647."

He nods, turns, and jogs away from you back to wherever he came from. A man comes and ushers you out the exit door. You head back to your hotel in disbelief. You're not sure what you expected, but it wasn't that.

******

You're trying really hard to stop pacing in your hotel room. The clock on the night stand says 12:24am. You're still wearing the pink and white dress, mainly because you're too nervous to change into anything else, but you're barefooted now, your boots in a pile by the door. You tell yourself you are giving him until 1am and then you're going to bed. That's when you hear the knock on your door.

Your stomach tenses up and your heart jumps into your throat. You walk to the door and open it carefully. Elvis walks in quickly and closes it behind himself. You're reminded of the time he did that when you lived in the dorm and you almost laugh out loud.

"Who are you hiding from?"

"Everyone." He looks at you like no time has passed since the last time you were alone like this. He puts his hand on the side of your face and for a moment you let him. Then you move away from him.

"Don't."

"Honey, why--"

"You have a wife."

"And you have a husband. Never stopped us before."

"I don't have a husband anymore."

"All the more reason--"

"You married her, Elvis." He looks down at the floor.

"She has your baby. You're somebody's father."

"I know that."

"Then why did you come here?" He picks up your hand and kisses the inside of your palm, just like he did so many years before.

"I missed you." You want to take that hand and slap him with it. For a second, you really consider it. Instead, you pull it away from him and turn to face the window. If you look at him, you might give in.

He comes up behind you and touches your dress on your shoulder.

"You know I've always loved you in pink."

"It matches--"

"--the dress you wore on the first night. I remember."

That almost convinces you to turn around, but instead you shake his hand off your shoulder. You can't turn around. Not yet.

"Elvis, we said this was over."

"We've said that before."

"Yeah, but last time I thought we meant it."

He walks around in front of you and faces you. He seems afraid to touch you again.

"Baby, you know I could never mean it."

You cross your arms over your chest and look up at him. He looks different now, grown up and fully himself, but he's still the same boy from Memphis who said he would always be yours.

"No. Go home to your wife, Elvis."

You can see in his eyes that that stung. You immediately wish you hadn't said it, but you did and it wasn't untrue. He does have a wife to go home to and you have what? No one because you can't seem to move on from him. He's as much a part of you as you are of him.

"You know what you mean to me." You do know. But sometimes you just wish he would say the words.

You walk past him to the hotel room window and look out at the street below. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but this town could give it a run for its money. There seems to be people everywhere. He speaks again, ripping you out of your reverie.

"You know, I could ask you the same question. Why did you come to my show?" You step back from the window and look up at the ceiling. That, you don't have an answer for. You're not even sure why you came. It's no use lying to him or yourself anymore. You turn to face him with tears in your eyes.

"I missed you."

It only takes him three steps to walk across the room and pull you into a deep and passionate kiss, his arms around you to keep you from pulling away. You know you should pull away, but you don't even try. You melt into him like snow in the rain, your mouths picking up a rhythm easily. Kissing him is familiar and satisfying and you begin to wonder why you ever stopped. You wrap your arms around his neck and let yourself get lost in him. He walks you backwards to the dresser and then lifts you up so that you're sitting on it. He runs both hands up your thighs and then grabs your hips, pulling them into his own. You break the kiss and moan softly into his mouth as you feel his hardness press into you. In a second, he has the dress up, over your head, and off. Your fingers shake as you undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt and push it off of his shoulders with his jacket, letting them both fall to the floor. The whole time, he's kissing you on the neck, on your chest, and shoulder, and jawline, and lips. It almost feels like he's trying to devour you whole. In fact, he bites the skin next to your collarbone at one point hard enough that you let out a small yelp. He knows you well enough to know that's a good sound. You grab the back of his hair and pull his head backward, diving into a deep kiss with heavy tongue. He almost breaks your bra, trying to rip it off of you and your panties don't stand a chance as he tears at them and throws them to the side. The button pops off of his pants as you feverishly try to get them off of him. He slides them off his hips and to the floor, letting his erection free to land against your thigh. The sight and feel of it there elicits a moan from your mouth and a good deal of wetness from between your legs. He pulls you to the edge of the dresser and pushes himself inside you. He slams into you heatedly and you both start to sweat. You can feel your climax building around him as he pumps. He's still kissing you all over your face and neck, dipping his tongue into your mouth periodically. Your hands grip his back as your fingernails dig into his skin. As many times as you've been together, it's never felt like this before. There's a desperation and need in both of you that's completely new. You wrap your legs around him and he carries you to the bed, still inside of you. You fuck for a while with him on top of you, until you push him into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Then, you turn away from him and lower yourself onto him, holding onto his thighs for support. While you slide up and down on him, he reaches forward and makes circles with his finger on the spot between your legs that makes you cry out his name.

"Elvis, fuck!" You scream as your climax pounds into you from every angle, rushing through you from your center to your edges and back again. You turn around and push him back onto the bed. He moves himself backwards until he's fully on the bed and you can ride him easily. You're grinding your hips against him, so that he is so deep inside of you. Nothing seems to be deep enough to satisfy you tonight. You want to swallow him up and keep him there inside you. He moans and grunts while you work, obviously approaching his climax. He flips you over one last time and thrusts into you a few times before he shudders and cusses and fills you with his warmth. You're both dripping wet with sweat and covered in marks from the other's teeth and fingernails. He rolls over off of you and lays next to you, both of you breathing heavily. He picks up your hand and kisses your fingers.

"Oh, honey, I have missed you so much." He smiles at you and holds your hand on his chest. You get up and go to the bathroom, trying to forget that you just committed adultery with him. Again. When you come back, you get some panties out of your suitcase and put them on. Then, you climb back into bed, where he's arranged himself as if he's going to sleep there.

"Don't you... have to... go?" You ask tentatively. You think of his wife, probably pacing her room waiting for him to come home.

"No." He doesn't give any more detail and you don't ask. He puts his arm around you and pulls you close to him. "I'm staying here." He kisses the side of your head.

It feels so good to have him wrapped around you again. This won't be the last time you're together.

He waits until he thinks you're asleep, and you almost are, when he whispers,

"I love you, baby."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist: @itlover8000 @deniseinmn @elvisalltheway101

[nrdmssgs]

A heart full of pity (part 2)

Masterlist Part 1

Part 3 Part 4 (final)

Angst, hurt/comfort

Pairing: Nik x unnamed afab OC

Summary: He wishes there was another way to make her not give up and fight on. He wishes, he could make it better. But there are habits, that proved being effective. Habits and patterns that make him harm even those, he deeply cares about

TW: Mention of physical injury (burns). Inaccurate description of military operations. Swearing. Mental abuse (manipulation. none of characters is left happy with it.)

Authors note: I still don't try to praise Russian culture. This time I tried to show, how FSB background can make someone cold, unsettling even cruel in a way. FSB in real life is still bad. Nikolai is a unique character, he does not represent any realities of life in Russia or work in the FSB. I don't romanticize Russia or FSB in real life. This is just fiction. I don't intend to harm anyone with it.

Thanks: @homicidal-slvt is still an absolutely incredible person, who helped me start this all. But there is also @sofasoap who created Lastochka series. If you have time for only ONE work to read today - please go and read Lastochka.

She woke up in another life, distant and long forgotten. The light shone even through her closed eyelids, turning the darkness into a bright red. Some familiar scent tingled her nose, muffled but also strangely familiar sounds echoed somewhere deep in the flat. It was as if she was again just twelve, caught up cold and had to stay home. No school for her today, no worries - just a slow lazy morning, loads of tea with honey and lemon, and if she's lucky enough to have a fever - unlimited raspberry jam. Her peaceful slumber was distracted only by a strange pulling sensation, sending waves of pain from her ankles along both sides of the hips to her waist. But she yet couldn't decide if the pain was worth of any worry: it wasn't that bad anyway. 

That was until she heard a soft rumbling voice from somewhere above. “I like it when you smile.” And just like that the illusion is gone: she gradually recalls everything, that happened prior. Now, when her mind traced all the way back to the reason behind the pain - it washes over her body again, making her wince, opening her eyes. “My oh my… and I remember times, when women kept happy expressions, seeing me beside their beds.” Nik tilts his head and raises eyebrows. “How many of them were in my condition?” She watches him rise, move the stool to the bed, and leave the room.

“None that I can recall…” He comes back in a minute with a lightly steaming bowl. “So you say, if it wasn't for your condition, you'd be beaming?” “I say…” She slowly rises on a bed with Niks help. “If it wasn't for my condition - I wouldn't end up in this bed.” “Ouch. Breaking my heart right there.” Nikolai chuckles softly. Of course, he is joking deliberately, and it's a good sign, she reacts. Although her motions are slow and shaky - she manages to eat almost the whole bowl, so he can give her ‘the desert’, which consists of a good pile of analgesics. “How much time do I have?” She doesn't need to explain any further - Nik knows exactly what she's referring to. “I've talked to Price this morning, you have about an hour. And… the whole operation is just your call now. I'm ready whenever you are.” Her face changes as if she's just stumbled upon something, hit against an invisible wall. She closes her eyes, slowly breathes in and answers, ‘don't be ridiculous. I'm done for. I'll admit, I've fucked up, and he'll send someone better to lead the whole thing’. Nikolai gives her a heavy long look. Suddenly, all the jokes and playfulness are drenched from the room. She feels smothered with a guilt building up inside and can't make herself look back him in the eyes. “I'm sorry in advance.” Nik leaves her wondering, what was he actually meaning. After some time, he brings a big mirror from the hallway. It's covered with dust and has a few chips on the edges. She tries to find out, what is he up to, but he exits the room once again and comes back with another mirror - a much smaller one, that he gives her.

“I was wondering, why did they leave us be?” Nikolai gently guides her to rise and sit on the edge of the bed, facing him. It doesn't happen in one swift motion, because her wounds are still fresh, so he proceeds “We were such an easy target, when this all happened, it must have pained them to not hit us…” As Nik speaks, she leans on his shoulder and slowly straightens her back, finally meeting his gaze fixed on something behind her. “And as much as I want to believe, It's because they don't want to become my personal targets, I must admit - their reasoning goes far beyond that.” He tucks under the bandages covering her torso and starts undoing them gently. “Nikolai, don't bother, I can change those by my-” He cuts her out by just glancing down in her eyes. His gaze is cold, distant. “Sit still for me and listen. Those bastards put Molotovs in children hands not to end you.” Nik reveals her bare back from under layers of the bandage and guides a small mirror in her hands so that she can see every detail of what exactly she now looks like. “They wanted to make a point, send Price a clear message. ‘Mess with us and this is what happens. You are powerless here, your people are nothing but meat to be roasted. We'll make them suffer so hard, they'll forget, who they were, they'll return to you broken only for you to blame yourself for that. It will hurt even to glance at them’. Now, as I said, it's your call. But you should ask yourself if their message is to be delivered.” She listens to him, seeming calm, not tearing her eyes from a little mirror. But Nikolai knows very well, what his words are doing to her: her heartbeat rose, her pupils slowly widen. It isn't the first time he has to manipulate someone, but this time it leaves him with such an disgusting aftertaste, that he is genuinely grateful when she asks him to leave her alone for the call.

Out on the street, he desperately searches for anything to distract himself: first, he checks the backyard of the house where they took refuge, then leaves it, blends with the crowd and wanders forward aimlessly. It's strange, he used to manage it much easier, but now he had a heavy heart. It was a really long time, since he felt that bad for hurting someone. Was it in her interest? Probably. Was it worth it? That he would find out later. Would he do such a thing to her ever again? Not even if she begs him to.

Nikolai keeps roaming around, his mind is fogged, but his body seems to find ways across the town automatically. In a couple of hours he finds himself leaning against the door of their flat, looking down on a small bag of tangerines, which he brought for some reason. He questions himself, what was his idea behind that. “Hey, I know, you are down, in pain and you can't leave a bed. And it was cruel to say all the things, I have, but I needed you to not give up on this mission, and I only had this one shot to make things right. Anyway, here are some tangerines, please don't hate me”? Nik winces of a mere thought of such an explanation.

He leaves a bag on the kitchen counter and heads to the bedroom. It is silent there, rare sunbeams are swaying and flickering along the faded wallpaper above the bed. She scribbles something frantically in a little notebook and doesn't even look at him, until he gets down to meet her gaze. “We have two weeks. I've convinced Price, we can pull this through.” She knows what Nikolai was hoping to hear and doesn't make him wait for it, but he doesn't leave right after he got the news. “Prosti*.” He reaches out to her, but his hand freezes as she answers. “You did the right thing, so no hard feelings, Nik.” She smiles, but her gaze is hollow, lacking of any emotion. He wishes, she instead slapped him in the face, shouted at him or at least told him go fuck himself for being like that to her - at this point anything would be better than her empty eyes and fake smile.

For a first couple of days, she is working on a plan constantly, not leaving her bed. Nikolai practically has to drag notebooks, printed charts and maps out of her hands every night just to make her sleep a bit. He still helped her here and there with bandages, cooked for her, and just tried to always be somewhere around in case she needed him. But little by little her strength returns, and the movements cause less and less pain. 

One evening, Nik is sitting in the living room, half asleep to the blaring of the TV, when he hears shuffling footsteps behind. She comes in  holding notes in one hand and a pencil in the other and sits down on the couch next to him. Nikolai immediately reaches for the remote control to turn off the TV, but she stops him. "Let it mumble. I don't understand the language anyway, so it doesn't distract me." She looks over her notes for a while, then sets them down on the coffee table and tries to concentrate on a show instead, constantly shifting her weight, trying to get into a position where her back wouldn't touch the back of the couch. He watches her for a while, and then in one motion he puts her legs over his knees, so she leans sideways on the back of the couch. “Better?” She smiles at his question. ”This way I'm going to break my neck trying to enjoy what ever is going on there.” Nik chuckles, extending one arm and cradling her lightly, so that she could rest her head on his shoulder and watch the show in peace. “Stop acting like a piece of furniture. You are not a cushion to rest on.” Her voice is sleepy. “I was aiming more for acting like a gentleman. And your head doesn't turn me into a pillow.” They keep watching the TV in silence for some time, but then Nik starts explaining her, what is going on and why the audience is laughing. At some point, he looks down and meets her gaze. “Thank you, Nik.” She didn't look away and, noticing his puzzled expression, added. “For saving my useless ass.”

“Still trying to be a gentleman here, little one… So you are not dragging me into commenting on your ass.” 

***

She towers over the table, dragging fingers down a map and cursing under her breath. Line after line, she draws invisible ornaments along the streets. But it seems that every path keeps failing her. Nikolai understands, it's not safe to interrupt her right now, but he can't stand another minute of her desperation. “Show me where are we stuck.” He leans down to the table besides her. “It's not that I practically have to orchestrate a street riot here. It's that there are just the two of us.” She irritably touches the tip of her pencil to several intersections. "I'm barely moving, I won't have time to intercept them in these places. And you can't do it alone." Nick covers his face with hands and hisses. "C`mere." He takes her hand and leads her to a chair. "Sit down. And please listen to me." She limply sinks to the edge of the seat, Nikolai leans closer. “Price sent me to help you, not because of my pretty eyes. He said you needed a fixer, remember? Well, great news: you have a one now. I’ll get you anything you need, arrange any meeting. You need people? I'll gather you a fucking army. Need arms? Name it and I'll have it wrapped in a gift paper for you by the morning. Need to burn this nest of filth? I'll get you matches. Now stop thinking about what we are lacking and use me for gods’ sake!” His deep, rumbling voice sounds menacing: it's high time she found a place for him in this operation. “Tell me then, fixer…” A small, vague smile appears on her lips. “Are you up for a ride?’

***

This is yet one of the strangest scoutings, he has ever taken part in. Their car creeps in silence along the central streets past dark windows. The city has long fallen asleep, and at this late hour the two of them do not meet anyone on the streets. She occasionally taps his shoulder - a sign to stop the car. Then she exits on the street, claps her hands loudly for a few times and stands there still, listening to the echoes. But it didn't bother Nikolai, since every time she returned with a satisfied grin. When they are back at home, curiosity gets the better of him. “What sort of gig are you planning?” “A little song for my fixer to sing along. Don't worry, I'll take you on a soundcheck.”

Days and nights of preparation followed. They hardly saw each other: Nikolai gathered reliable people, prepared locations, and she kept working on her putting together mechanisms, mixing substances and correcting their plan.

***

Nik wakes her up in the middle of the night before the operation. They silently drink coffee in the kitchen, get ready and leave for the improvised intel center, he arranged for her to lead the operation from. 

“Nikolai, this hardly fits the definition of a secluded place, away from prying eyes.” She looks around the spacious, empty room, with a panoramic view of the city center. In other circumstances, she wouldn't be bothered by working in an unfinished skyscraper in the center of the city. But this building is literally in full view of everybody. “Saved the best seat for you. Besides, you know what they say: the best place to hide something is in plain sight.” Nik helps her to arrange remote controls and checks the room once more. Despite still having troubles moving around much and suffering from pains, she looks surprisingly content, walking along a huge window. 

“I'm leaving you my jacket in case it gets too cold.” She didn't answer, so Nikolai comes closer. “You ok?” Something disturbingly jolly flickers deep in her eyes. Something unkind. Something sadly familiar to him after many battles. “I'm fine. Go, we have a nest to burn there.” “Just promise me to sit here and don't get reckless, ok? I want to come here, when it's all over and find you right in this room, safe and sound” He lightly pats her shoulder, trying to get any answer.

“I'll be safe and sound, that's a promise.”

***

From the outside, it might look like a pure chaos: angry shouts, tossed stones flying forward, an irritated crowd growing every minute. But a few people in the crowd know that what is happening on the street isn't the result of a combination of random circumstances. This is a trap set by the hands of an invisible hunter, snares placed in the path of prey. An invitation and a dare.

Nikolai isn't sure that the 'crackers' would have the desired effect, and gradually rounds the perimeter of the crowd like a shepherd. But when the first one goes off behind him with a deafening crack, his first instinct, overtaking common sense, is to duck. A series of loud pops really resemble the echo of shots. His people in the crowd, knowing that this was a signal for them, hurry, dragging the crowd forward with them. Every time the crowd reaches a new intersection, another batch of crackers drives people in the right direction. The first rumors that civilians were being shot at spread almost instantly. Nik couldn't help but grin at the ideal timing and effect her little sound traps had on the crowd. In a way, this really feels like a song. A quite sinister one, but it still reminded him, they are together in this.

When the crowd rounds up the building, that she and Nik called ‘the nest’ - he knows exactly what is she doing right now. Forehead pressed to a cold window, fingers clasping around her elbow in anticipation, eyes glued to an outline of the building, he is standing in front of. He can swear on his life, he almost feels her pulse picking up, her lips forming silent pleads. “Come on, come on…”

Her planing almost didn't leave him any job until now. Angry crowds gathered around the fence, blocked surrounding streets, raised the tension to the point of no return. All Nik and his people are left to do is just to wait patiently, till civilians distract the security. But once it actually happens, he feels his heart rushing. He can finally break in, take place in the game, she tinkered so intricately. Nikolai takes one last look at the skyscraper darkening in the distance and smiles as he passes the fence and disappears into the shadows of the building.

“Eto dlya tebya. Smotri, moya khoroshaya.*”

***

She doesn't celebrate too early, when some footsteps echo in the back of the stairwell. It could be him, could be anyone else as well. While the sound is still far, she sits down on a chair facing the only entrance to the room and cocks the trigger. Her position is open, vulnerable - Price would kill her by himself if he has ever seen her like that. But at the end of this day, that seemed to last forever, she is powerless: her limbs are trembling, her mind is fogged. She was clearly not in the right condition to lead the operation.

Nikolai finds her clutching his jacket to her chest with one hand and holding the entrance to the room at gunpoint with the other. At this point she can't even sit straight and he feels sorry. He stops and lifts both hands.

“Eto ya, ne perezhivai.*” His voice makes her loudly exhale and slowly lower the gun. She bends over and buries her face in the heavy folds of his jacket for a few moments. His hand covers her back, careful enough to not touch the blisters formed on the scorched skin.

Nik gives her time to calm down and doesn't speak till she lifts her face once again to him. “Are we happy?” To have him back in one piece can already be counted as a success, but she needs to make sure, the mission is not failed this time.

“Oh, you don't have an idea…” Nikolai smiles enigmatically and hands her a folder. "You closed that jar of spiders and shook it so well that they began to rip off each other's heads. The main gift for the captain is on the way, and this is a small bonus. We'll give it to him personally."

She quickly looks through the folder and her eyes slowly widen. “Nik… Did you read it? Do you know what it means?..”

“M-hhm, the plot is fun, but overall style… not to my liking.” He says this with a completely deadpan face and sinks to the floor by her chair, quietly relieved that she, albeit silently, is laughing at his joke. “Anyway,” he adds, “What do you think: a red or a golden one?”

“W-what?” She stops reading and looks back at him, as he pulls out two dusty cheap plastic ribbons tied in bows: one red and the other - golden. “Wanna bring Price that fancy gift? Might as well pack it.” She looks from the ribbons, he put in her free hand, to his face. “Considering the specifics of our team… red would be somewhat vulgar, Nikolai.” He closes eyes, leans his forehead against her knee and his shoulders shake with muttered laughter. “You have a point there, little one. God, it reminded me of an old dumb joke, they've told us back when I've worked in Copenhagen.” Nik cuts himself off, understanding, that she probably won't find it as funny, but she encourages him to go on. “Ok, so, a tourist from the USA walks down the street in Moscow. He looks around and doesn't notice a huge hole right on his path. Naturally, he falls down. A policeman pulls him out and the tourist asks why they didn’t surround the pit with a red tape, or at least didn’t mark it with little flags. The policeman answers him: ‘Comrade, when did you cross the border of the Soviet Union - did you see those freaking huge red flags?’”

For some time she just sits there and watches him, but after a few very long moments, she leans down, cups his face smeared with dust and speaks deeply serious. “This is the worst joke, please never tell it to anybody.” And before he finds the right words to answer her - she busts out laughing, hugging him tightly. There is so much in her embrace: highly-strung nerves, hidden pain and sorrow, untold fears - so many things, one shouldn't contain in an embrace. But Nik doesn't mind it at all as long as it makes her burden bearable: in fact, he is happy to be there for her.

*Prosti. (Russian) - Forgive me, please.

*Eto dlya tebya. Smotri, moya khoroshaya. (Russian) - This is for you. Look, my dear.

*Eto ya, ne perezhivai. (Russian) - Don't worry, it's me.

[taylortruther]

I still feel like sharing my opinion about Forever & Always - Haunted - Foolish One.

So it's confirmed by Taylor that Joe broke up with her in a 27 phone call (The Ellen Show, 11.11.2008) and that Forever & Always was added to the Fearless album a day before the tracklist was finalised ("She's writing her future" by Randy Lewis)

Joe Jonas responded in 2009 with the song Much Better: "now I'm done with superstars and all the tears on her guitar [Teardrops On My Guitar] ...Everything I'd need is the girl in front of me // she's much better"

Taylor released Better Than Revenge in late 2010: "Let's hear the applause // come on, show me how much better you are (so much better yeah?) // so you deserve some applause // 'cause you're so much better

Last Kiss has a 27 seconds intro -> 27 phone call breakup.

Majority of the fandom agrees these 3 songs are about him. In those songs she's describing a situation where someone walked out on her, and that made her feel very frustrated and confused. Forever & Always might have been written after the breakup, but so much of it deals with the feeling of knowing you're about to get broken up with. Only after the breakup you realize you've been ignoring the signs -> "now I'm sliding down the walls with my head in my hands, saying, "how could I not see the signs? You haven't written me or called -> "This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak. Baby, what happened? 'Cause one second it was perfect now you're halfway out the door" -> "Come on, Come on, don't leave me like this // I thought I had you figured out" -> "I never planned on you changing your mind"

Then there's The Ellen Show interview the day Fearless was released:

Ellen: "He broke up with you on the phone? That's not right."

Taylor: "It's all right - I'm cool. You know what, it's like, when I find that person that is right for me, he'll be wonderful. When I look at that person, I'm not even going to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 27 seconds when I was 18."

And that just makes me think about Foolish one ending with "the day is gonna come for your confessions of love // when all is said and done, he just wasn't the one" it's a very Taylor thing to call herself an idiot for falling in love and then still believdin love. "Stupid girl, I should've known" to "I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well"

It's a especially a 2006-2009 Taylor thing to berate herself for falling for an asshole, but end up still believing there's a good guy out there. I think things changed after John. Part of her struggles with falling into adulthood was getting seriously burned by love.

You know CBHF's theory that Electric Touch is about Jake? I love that and wish I could find her posts about it because they were so good.

Electric Touch is so hopeless, in a way. It's Delicate's pop punk sister. "Got a history of stories ending sadly" -> "the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now"

I think after John Taylor started to understand love is a ruthless game. She went to her first date with Jake knowing that "we fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time" but holding on to that little bit of hope that this time would be different. And I just don't see her writing "the day is gonna come for your confessions of love" after John.

I understand Haunted feels too dark to be about Joe because their relationship & breakup wasn't as scarring as Dear John. But the idea Taylor couldn't have written something so moving and emotional  at 19 after getting dumped on the phone is offensive to her skills as a writer and offensive to all teenage girls with very big feelings. She wrote Cold As You when she was 15 and I like to think it was written about the same subject as Picture To Burn.

When she said she's haunted she means haunted by the relationship, by his love, which is why she sits on the floor wearing his clothes.

this is compelling evidence... i'm gonna make a poll

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕💕

I have actually been so curious to see how c&f OC will act now that she's overheard Jungkook and his uncle. I feel like he deserves to be put through it a little bit, you know? I definitely feel like she'll be a loooot colder to him now and he'll try to turn his charm all the way up. I still feel like that wouldn't help though and the only way to fix the situation would be to just be honest about everything. I'm sure there will be some angst before that happens though and I'm excitedddd. But I have been wondering a lot about them recently and I would love a teaser to see what they're up to 👀👀👀

And of course cmi couple are on my mind 24/7 too. After that drabble I've been missing the way they used to be so much 😭😭😭 I miss him reassuring her and taking care of her, helping her deal with her parents. I hate seeing her so sad and I think now that she's trying to be more emotionless and shutting her friends out, it will be even more painful to witness.

I've been thinking a lot about how it will be when they finally have a serious talk about everything that happened. Jungkook apologising and opening up to OC.... Their first kiss after getting back together.... all of those thoughts have me tearing up already, I have no idea how I'll actually be able to read all of that and survive.

Alsoooo when you said that Kook's confession might be connected to his family I started wondering... did he do something that he's not so proud of to defend his family? Maybe to defend Ria? That made me go back to cmi lights to reread the scene with her and I saw this: “So…” Ria hums, sighing, and a memory flashes through her brain before she adds, suddenly understanding, “scared.” maybe it has something to do with it, maybe it doesn't, but what struck me is that he described himself as scared when he was talking to Tae about it in cmi 7.5 and that's how Ria describes him here too. So I guess my theory is that perhaps he did something a little violent to protect his family, like got in a fight? And he's scared of that version of himself coming out when he feels that someone he loves is in danger in some way? If that's the case, then he's definitely had some progress because I still remember when he held himself back from fighting Jin's friend at the club (in cmi layers i think?) because he thought it through and realised it would hurt OC 🥺🥺🥺 I loved him for that then and I still do now. I'm normally so bad at coming up with theories but I'm throwing this one out there.

I saw you saying you had a busy day and I hope you're taking time to take care of yourself too, Rid 🥺🥺🥺 I always hope you're doing well and if you're not, I'm always ready with lots of hugs and love for you 💞💞💞

why is reading your asks so comforting and interesting, like i could read essays and not get bored, no matter what they're about djkmhakjd

oh god, yes, i'm definitely so so excited for c&f! i just need to figure out the ending properly – i think that's why i'm not posting part 2 yet, bc i want to plant hints or important stuff in ch2, so it makes sense later on. but we're on it !! i can def do a teaser this week <3

cmi couple, yeah fuck yeah, things have changed so much and so abruptly 😭 just a few weeks ago they were bodypainting and showering together and falling in love, and now they're crying over each other like where did things go wrong... ALSO NOOO, not the bit with them reconciling 😭 the worst thing is... i know how it's gonna be, and i've cried about it before lmao the day i post that chapter, i'll hide and wait for reactions like :''')

the theory is amazing, ivi. when ria said he wasn't like that before, she was just a little wrong – because he's always been scared. just now, with oc, it's worse. it could definitely be something about defending someone... would make sense with how he behaved in layers. then again, i promise you that should something HUGE happen, jk won't hesitate to swing his fists... you'll know what i mean ANYWAYS!! yeah the reveal is gonna be painful. i think it's gonna be unexpected in some ways, and i truly hope i can bring across the feelings well and make you guys understand what was going on in his head <3

and thank you 🥺 my mood fluctuates for some reason, but today was better... i'm really really working hard on being okay :') thank you so much. your love and hugs help more than you know. and i always hope you're doing well, too, especially when you're a bit more inactive 🤍

[theflyingfeeling]

The university AU is one of my favourite fics and I reread it very often 😍 I'd love to hear more about the writing process if you want to share! (regarding the tags in that one post)

Really? 🥺😭💗 Ohh, love to anon for one thousand years <3

It's obviously been a while since I finished writing it, but of course I can share what I still remember! 🥰

While I did have an actual outline for the whole story in terms of what would happen in each chapter and in which order the POVs would be, there were some key moments or sometimes just some very specific lines that I pretty much based the whole fic around:

The Titanic concersation between Joonas and Niko (ch4) (this wasn't actually that important in the grand scheme of things, I just thought it was funny and it's one of my favourite scenes 😆)

“Because I was afraid I would take too many and not wake up at all.” (Joel's line in Ch5.1)

Aleksi "stealing" Joel's leather jacket and Joel buying him exactly the same one to keep as his own

Tommi's answer to Olli when he (drunkenly) wonders who he'll go to for some kisses and cuddles now that Joonas is with Niko (“Beats me.”) + “You’re such a good friend.”

These were the scenes that I REALLY wanted to write, and the rest just sort of...happened? Some of it was planned (e.g. pretty much everything that went down with Joel and Aleksi), but for some of the plot details I had only a vague idea when I began writing (e.g. Niko's background story). There were also some details that ended up working out perfectly by accident, such as Joonas heading over to Niko's when Joel and Aleksi (and Rilla!!) were having a sleepover in J&J's room. For some other plotlines my original idea changed during writing; for example Joonas and Niko were supposed to get together way earlier and easier than they did, but I decided to give them a bit rougher path in comparison to Joel/Aleksi, to avoid having two similar plotlines. Another plot detail I originally had was for Joonas to have had a crush on Olli back in the day (NOT overlapping with Olli's crush on him however) and that to be revealed when Olli confesses, but it didn't seem right in the end.

The only chapter that I never had a proper outline for was the very last one, and I actually only finished it on the day I uploaded it. In a way it serves as a sort of an epilogue, as it hints at a new, budding relationship, but doesn't really give much more than that to the reader.

The Fall Out Boy lyrics in the summaries of each chapter was perhaps one of the most fun parts of the writing process and I was so happy with how many of them turned out. Having said that, I did have trouble finding suitable ones for some of the chapters, but I'm particularly happy with the songs I chose for Olli's chapters, as well as Joonas' and Niko's 2nd chapters, and I like to think as a whole it makes a pretty cool soundtrack (I often imagine my stories more as TV series or movies, so here you might wanna think of Skam-esque use of music).

However, my absolute favourite thing about the whole fic and the creation process was Tommi's silent suffering throughout the story, revealed bit by bit (because if you read it again after having finished it once, you probably look at Tommi and his actions very differently). It was super exciting to write this kind of plotline and I was so so happy with how it turned out; at least based on the readers' reactions, I want to believe I did a good job there 💖

Fun fact: I actually started writing some sort of sequel around February last year, but I had no idea where I was going with it (I only managed a bit of Joel and Aleksi renovating Aleksi's house and Rilla ruining the floor by walking around with paint-stained paws 🥰). I don't have a plot for the sequel, only one VERY vague scene/shot of Tommi/Olli, so unti I can think of what I want to say with thay story (other than showing you that all is well), I'm afraid you're gonna have to keep waiting 😔 But as you may have seen with the Olympics AU, I might get a sudden burst lf insporation from the smallest of things, so who knows really? 👀

[sometimesanalice]

Your birthday gift hasn't been mailed yet but at least I got this delivered on time! I don't stay up until 3:40am working on fics for jsut anyone!

I still remember when I was drafting LIC and talking things though and you hit me with something along the lines of "OH MY GOD DID THEY HOOK UP?!?!?" And now we get to know how it would have happened if they did! Haha!

more for you!

“So, um, my first time was with Rooster.” He doesn’t miss the way all his friends’ heads snap towards him. All eyes are on the two of you, and you’re pointedly looking anywhere but him. - okay first the way in this universe she’s still on that whole ‘rooster’ thing here!?! and second i can just picture her shoulders caving in and her refusing to make eye contact with anyone! and then the shift later!?! like miss girl no! your first time was with BRADLEY! also i need to know if either of them has romantic feelings for the other yet? like if they’ve been pining a bit?-- yes! I was really interested in what things would look like between them if that one thing was changed. Like the Spring Break happened, but as we know the sex didn't. So exploring how things would shake out after that, as something that was between friends, and how that would influence things between them was fun to play with! So the vibe if X happened here how would it impact Z later on, so them having sex played out in the way with how Bradley came to realize his feelings!

alexa note: so the idea of the title was kind of a play on words. In the sense that it was something that happened between friends, but also after they did it it made them a bit between friends and something more.

Rooster had been anxiously waiting to hear the story of your first official time, the one that was with someone who wasn’t him. He didn’t realize that you still considered him your first. - even years later he’s still so self deprecating about this!! ofc she’d consider you her first still!?! no one’s ever made her feel so safe and comfortable before-- he never knew what it meant to her! Like they are friends first, forever and always. But I think he was like "that was a practice round" where the first time it would actually count to her would be when she was ready for it to be romantic with someone. That pretty idiot.

You were supposed to be going on a first date tonight, but he’d talked you into canceling to hang out with him instead. - any time this is mentioned i always get so sad? like i got tears in my eyes. and it’s not necessarily mean on his part and he knows it selfish, but it still makes me sad? like bradley why do you think she does this so easily for you?-- if it makes you feel less sad, I genuinely think she'd rather hang out with him anyways! I think she wants to make up for those years a part, and love spending time with her bff. But there's a certain guilt that he has when he does it because he knows he'll usually get his way with those coweyes.

He didn’t just want the highlights with you, he wanted everything in between too. - i like how this kind of connects back to his feelings in like i can? he doesn’t want to be friend of the family, he wants everything-- he didn't know what he was missing and what they could mean to each other before she moved there and they got to be around one another all the time!

But it was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you to not talk about your sex lives with each other. - gee bradley i wonder why!?!-- it's like in the self care fic where she doesn't want to hear about how easy it is for him to get laid in those jorts 🤭

When you’d floated the idea by Bradley about visiting him at UVA for Spring Break during your weekly phone call, you’d been braced for the disappointment of him already having plans. It was his Senior year, it wouldn’t surprise you if he wanted to go out with a bang and make the most of it. - I KNEW IT I KNEW IT and i loved the reveal later-- and that he gave up a free week at the beach to hang out in his dorm on the campus that he's been at for 3.25 years with her?! sweetest boyyyyy!

His face had more distinct angles and less baby fat cushioned curves. Still a bit boyish, but he was well on his way to looking like a man. - she’s stronger than i am tbh. that tight uva shirt would’ve done me right in to say nothing about Him-- he is just so handsome!! and that shirt is from his sophomore year so you know its SNUGGGGGGGGGGGG (and soft). Also his amused face like "you've looked at me 4 times now but i guess i'll keep waiting" lol. And she's like "ok skipping over that cute guy because it would be weird to make eye contact with a stranger now where the fuck is bradley"

You start with the Rotunda and then the academic village, making a special pitstop at the Whispering Wall for you to tell it a secret. - it’s so pretty there and i really love all the thought he put into the entire visit for her! and don’t get me started on the wishing well! i love what you made of it over text!-- like there's the traditional tour and then there's his tour. He'd be so adamant about her making a wish, standing there with his arms crossed until she caved! But if she's going to play along to indulge him, of course she is using her wish on him 🥰

The backyard was all strung up with red and green Christmas lights - THE INFAMOUS RED AND GREEN LIGHTS AT THE FRAT!!! i love all the little nudges to the official like i can series (also him opening all her drinks is so cute)-- I still want the fingerprints of their og history there!! like it happened!! just not quite like that!

You knew UVA wasn’t where he’d originally wanted to be- where he thought he’d be- but you were happy that he seemed happy here. - i think so too! because he actually got to be a college kid? sure he was in nrotc and all that, but he still got to do silly thinks like streak across the lawn and be in a frat and throw up on his 21st birthday and he wouldn’t have gotten to do any of that at the naval academy (trust me lol). it’s nice bradley got to be a kid for a little longer-- i am with you!! like i love the idea that he got to have fun, got to be young and reckless and enjoy himself! He still ends up where he wants to be, and it takes longer, but he had to grow up so quick during those last 2 years in high school, that it makes me all kinds of soft thinking about him getting to just have some normalcy for once in his life.

But it felt like you were two kids at sleepaway camp getting away with mischief rather than two broke college students only pretending to get away with mischief. - don’t get me started on this. the whole sleepaway camp thing absolutely made me melt, it’s so sweet and just hammers home that they’re still ‘kids’ together? there’s just something so pure about it and i think that even carrie’s through to when she asks bradley to be her first?-- them laughing and staying up wayyyy too late and swapping their college stories. they they can be goofy and giddy and carefree! i love them just finding silly ways to have fun together.

alexa note: also here's the view from the hike!!

likeeeeeee??! worth the early wake up!!

You nod, looking anywhere else other than at him. - she does this a lot when she’s embarrassed/unsure 🤭 but like tbh he’d make me nervous too-- the eye contact would be too much! I think she knows bradley can read her like no one else and her vice versa, and when she's nervous or feeling out of her element knowing that about them makes her almost more self conscious when those moments happen.

He doesn’t even blink, “You can do better than me.” And he means it. Even if there was something more between the two of you, you’ve always been too good for him. And knowing him, he’d find a way to fuck it up. You’re the last person in the world he’d ever want to hurt. He’d let you down before, he doesn’t want to do it ever again. - oh bradley!! like i said earlier, he’s so self deprecating about this! ‘he’d let you down before’ 🥺 dark days bradley 🥺. but bradley, you know her! you know she wouldn’t ask unless it was for a specific reason, like it’s not because she has a crush on you (tbh tbd on that) or wants to make you fall in love with her! she wouldn’t ask unless she’d really thought about it-- bradley carriesss his guilt! i don't think he ever really TRULY forgives himself when he lets that sharp tongue of him get the best of him. Dark Days Bradley keeps him up a night. So he's always trying to make it up to her for the way he treated her during that period. he just is never able to see himself the way she sees him! he's the best!

The two of you were supposed to go to the movies, but that definitely wasn’t happening now. - okay but would they have seen? the gag worthy (affectionate) 9/11 deux ex machina of remember me? green zone for matt damon? or a sleeper screening of the february favorite shutter island?-- plsssss bradley was probably taking (read: dragging) her along with him for his 3rd viewing of Kick-Ass

“So you’d be my first and I’d be yours? Well, kind of.” You give him a little smile, it’s a shy but hopeful thing. - this is SO cute! and i like that it’s kind of still both their firsts? and maybe you could even make the case that it’s his first ‘official’ time too? idk like what he said at the beginning of thinking she would say who her first ‘official’ time is?-- I was so soft over the idea of it getting to be a bit of a do-over for him too. Like he's had plenty of sex, just not a ton that's mattered. It was also a bit of a wink to their first official time in the og series, where he was the first person to make her come from oral and she was the first person he didn't wear a condom with, they exchanged firsts in that one too.

Your hair smells like the travel sized shampoo he’d picked up for you, figuring you wouldn’t want to use his 2-in-1. - this and the bit with the sheets are so unbelievably sweet ☺️-- the hostess with the mostess!

You weren’t sure how you were ever going to thank him for this, but you had a lifetime of friendship with Bradley to figure it out. - got a little something more than friendship out of it now sweet girl!-- 🥰

…so you make a split-second decision to just take them off yourself under his covers. The idea of Bradley helping you to pull them off later seems like it would be too intimate based on the way the thought of it makes your cheeks heat up. // He’d never seen anything so strangely endearing as it was watching you shimmy your underwear off under the shield of his covers. - i loved how you handled this and how he finds it so endearing? but also i like that he’s just like standing there kind of frozen still?-- I think he really want hanging back because he wanted to be SURE! he was letting her lead and he'd meet her where she was at. but then also partly the man was in a daze because his best friend is getting naked and he can't help but get a little distracted. It's like yeah they're going to have sex but she's still a bit shy!

His broad shoulders are rounded with the muscles he’s gained from whatever exercises the NROTC has been putting him through. Your eyes dip down to his defined chest and over the ridges of his abs. You’ve seen him in swim trunks plenty of times, but seeing the way the muscles of his thick thighs fill out the black boxer briefs he was wearing was entirely new to you. - oh he’s so prettyyyyyy 🤭 the fact that she hasn’t seen him in about a year is also sooooo good! like it just further shows how much he’s changed in her eyes? very fitting! (also i love that he’s careful with their clothes, but still hesitant to pick up her underwear 🥺)-- like that those 21/22 years are FORMATIVE for guys! they start looking like MEN! And skype was still not the best, so like they weren't seeing each other in 4k. And the valencia filter on IG wasn't serving anyone the way we thought it did! lol! and swim trunks vs those clingy boxer briefs are very unfriendly territory! re: the clothes- he was absolutely trying to give himself a couple more moment to get his head on straight, preparing a game plan in his mind, lol

“Good, that’s good,” Bradley says, clearing his throat, “You’re supposed to feel a little ‘overwhelmed, but in a good way.’” You feel your lips pull up at his gentle teasing. - STOP THIS!! it’s so cute goddddddd-- he is so sweet with herrrrrrrrrrr

“Spread your legs a little wider for me,” he murmurs. You feel your face heat up. He’d just given you a direction, but it sounds almost indecent coming out of his mouth. - don’t - don’t do this to me already. i like that he later clocks that she likes this and being called a good girl/atta girl 🤭-- the girl likes a compliment! lololol. i had so many notes so trying to figure out whose POV got what was definitely a challenge, but getting to do little recaps worked out so well to get both their perspectives for those Moments™️

You gasp, breathily, “Oh, you’re hard.” The disbelief is evident in your voice, but it’s the look in your eyes that he doesn’t know what to make of, something like surprise. - i’m obsessed with this. like bradley thinks, she’s genuinely surprised like how could i do this to him? now it’s her turn to bffr-- lmaooooo, bless her! like logically she knows, but I don't think she'd considered that him getting her off would be hot to him. like, babe! but i loved that his response was to like assure her that he was very into it, that he didn't want it to feel one sided.

“Atta girl. There you go, find what feels good for you.” His voice sounds low even to his own ears, a throaty rumble. He feels you clench around his fingers and it sets his pulse racing. It’s a piece of information he tucks away for himself. - AHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH! he’s so pleased with himself already and she def likes some praise thrown in there 🤭-- SO PLEASED! SO SMUG! He loveeeeesssssss when girls go after what they want in bed, and her kind of coming out of that shell and seeking out what she likes is something that's in the back of his head that he wants her comfortable doing with others in the future. but also, he gets to unlock some of those tidbits he's never known about her before.

“I want to make you feel good too,” you softly tell him, resting your chin on your shoulder. The tender way you’re looking at him makes his teeth ache. - oh 🥺☺️ her eyes are def wide and her face is absolutely so open and honest. but i think he’s scared to let her? like if it’s about her that’s okay in his book? but if she makes it about him, that’s uncharted territory? and not saying a hojo makes it about him? but like that wasn’t part of the original deal? if that makes sense?-- i think for her especially knowing that his experience wasn't necessarily prioritized during his own first time, like she wants to take care of him too. But that's exactly it!! Like him becoming the center of attention in that moment requires him to give up a little control too, it makes him vulnerable too. I think he is so use to being the giver too! Its her way of wanting to put his needs ahead of hers (not like the man isn't already totally worried about coming early, lol)

“You’re such a goddamn menace.” - oh i love it 🤭-- not her teasing him! he gave her too much good ammo, lol

You hold up your pinky to him, “I’ll tell you.” He wraps his own crooked one around yours and gives it a shake. - STOP!!! this is so summer camp!!! i love that’s it’s still so Them? (also i just remembered what the summer camp line reminded me of and it’s when gabriella makes the ‘like kindergarten’ comment in high school musical, it’s just so sweet)-- i think she knows how bradley can get in his head too, and it's her little way of trying to keep it light. Like it's big for her too, but also she doesn't to get in her own head by default!

Bradley doesn’t know what comes over him, but he drops a kiss to your shoulder as he reaches over you into the drawer of his nightstand to fish out what he needs. - ENOUGH!!! HE DOESNT KISS HER ONCE EXCEPT ON THE SHOULDER AND FOREHEAD AND CLAVICLE AND THEN HE KISSES HER FOR THE FIRST TIME LATER AT THE HARD DECK BYEEE--HE DOESNT KISS HER ONCE EXCEPT ON THE SHOULDER AND FOREHEAD AND CLAVICLE AND THEN HE KISSES HER FOR THE FIRST TIME LATER AT THE HARD DECKKKKKKKK! i liked it being another unspoken thing between them, that like kissing would make it cross a certain line (lmao not like he isn't about to be literally inside of her)! But like that chemistry is still there? like he can't hold back the affection of being with someone like that and then it builds to an almost moment!!

…you thought you were going to fly away from the intensity of it, but then he’d pulled you into the safety of his arms and you felt like you could fall apart because he’d be keeping the pieces of you together. - oh 🥺 that’s so pretty alexa!-- eep! and that she only leans into it, to that big feeling, because she feels so safe with him! it's just too much for me!

He huffs an incredulous laugh, and brushes back some hair from off your face, “You feel really fucking good, sweet-” - THE SWEET GIRL CUT OFF WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW BYE-- THE ALMOST OF IT ALL!!

He reaches down and hooks your leg over his hip. His hand slides up along the outside of your thigh and under your ass, tilting your hips up towards his even more. He’s so much deeper like this. - 22 year old bradley def has some moves haha-- i'll be for real, the ass grab took it out of me, he was so hot for that

He’d somehow managed to roll on his back and had taken you with him. He was literally just inside of you, but yet it feels like your leg draped over his thigh is somehow more intimate. - jesusfuckingchrist some bitches have all the luck for a first time-- it's so funny how the physical stuff she was more confident about, like there was a game plan and she understood it. But like with this casual intimacy, she gets more flustered because she doesn't know what's too much! like how long is it ok to cuddle? should she get out of bed now and go into hers? like she's an overthinker which leads us too....

“Come back here, kid,” Bradley mumbles, his eyes still closed, “I need to cuddle after I come, so I’m gonna need you to indulge me here for a moment.” He strokes a soothing hand down your back. And while he says it’s for him, you know he’s still trying to take care of you. - i love that he’s trying to make light of it with the specific words and tone, but goddddddddd it’s so intimate and sweet. like that’s love, whether romantic or not that’s love-- that he KNOWS and that he can TELL! i mean we know he is cuddly after sex, but he really was just wanting her to feel safe in the after of it all.

You’re still you. And Bradley is still Bradley. It was just… something between friends. - oh 🥺 why did this make me tear up-- i wanted to weave in a line that was representative of why I went with the title that i did!

Your stepdad wouldn’t be able to come, but he was planning on sending your mom with one of the cakes from his family’s bakery. You’d been tasked with finding out what flavor, carrot cake or peanut butter - okay well there’s a LOT here! first her mom always sending bradley a cake from a local bakery since she knows the value of a good family run business and second!!! THE SWEETEST DEVOTION CAKE BIT!!! the carrot cake and peanut butter!!! FULL CIRCLE THIS FAMILY LOVES CAKE AND IT’S THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE-- the back history of the cake that I didn't even know about until we uncovered it! the things we didn't know the why of until now!!

“Bradley,” he cuts you off. He takes another step towards you, so you’re toe to toe with him. “I’ve always been Bradley to you.” - you know i love the bradley and rooster dichotomy, like that’s my weakness!!! this made me cry last night and again doing this write up. he’s so emphatic as he says it too like it means a lot to him that he’s bradley to her right now?-- that history between them is so important to him!! like i love their chat in LIC where she explains it for him to understand. he doesn't want to be anyone else to her other than bradley!

“What if I said I wanted to try this as more than friends.” Bradley settles a large hand on your hip. “What if I said that since you’ve moved here I’ve had a hard time keeping my head on straight.” “Bradley.” His name falls out of your mouth so easily now that it can. - i’m swooning! i’m so jealous! and the “now that it can” reminded me of the ‘he won’t love you like i can’ line-- her first "bradley" after those chats are always so important to me! like miss ma'am have been constantly correcting herself in her brain for a year trying to make him Rooster to her, and when she gets that permission (request) that she calls him Bradley, like imagine relief she feels! that she was holding onto that for so long, and not realizing how much effort went into it. it's easy again because its them!

“I’m not kissing you for the first time around the corner from a bathroom,” he rasps. - THIS IS SO CUTE!! like he knows it’s gonna be a big deal when they have their first kiss!!!-- IT'S GOING TO BE THEIR LAST FIRST KISS 🥰

As it turns out, he only makes it as far as the Bronco before he’s spinning you back towards him and pressing you against it. His hands are on your hips and yours are wrapped around his neck as he kisses you for the very first time. - JUST LIKE IN LIKE I CAN GOODBYEEEEEEE it’s all so same-same but different!!!!-- exactly!!!! i was so excited to see what things played out the same! I loved their first official kiss to play out the same-same but different way! like even on a different timeline, that there are some things that remain no matter what! 💖

happy birthday to you, my best babe! i'm so happy to know you! 💖

Between Friends

Summary: Bradley and you don’t talk about that Spring Break. But a single question asked during a night out at the Hard Deck might just change things between the two of you forever.

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Female Reader

Length: 11K

Warning: smut (including loss of virginity), brief mention of underage drinking, and college!bradley in a backwards hat

(Author's note: Happy Birthday Jordan! I wrote this just for you! Look at me keeping secrets from you! Enjoy!)

𝐍𝐎𝐖

Rooster couldn’t control his bouncing leg.

That night at the Hard Deck had started out like any other: good music, good drinks, good people. Over the course of the evening, he’d found himself seated between you and Bob in a lopsided circle with the rest of the Daggers around a few tall tables that had been pushed together just shooting the shit.

It was all fun and games until swapping stories about embarrassing middle school moments turned into cringing over first kiss stories turned into Seresin grinning like a shark asking about how everyone’s first time went down.

Rooster felt his pulse kick up with every collective laugh and groan as his friends went one by one sharing how they’d lost their virginities. Because with each passing story, it meant that you were one person closer to going. And for the first time in his life- even after over two decades of friendship- he didn’t know what your answer was going to be.

So he is just as shocked as his teammates are when you tentatively reveal, “So, um, my first time was with Rooster.” He doesn’t miss the way all his friends’ heads snap towards him. 

All eyes are on the two of you, and you’re pointedly looking anywhere but him.

Rooster had been anxiously waiting to hear the story of your first official time, the one that was with someone who wasn’t him. He didn’t realize that you still considered him your first.  He’d figured that part of your history had long been overwritten by whoever had been lucky enough to catch your eye and make your heart race in a romantic way.

The two of you had never talked about it in the after.

Not once, not ever.

He didn’t care that people knew, he just wasn’t expecting it.

Jake starts the group out of its stunned silence by slapping a heavy hand on top of the table, nearly sending some bottles to the floor, “I knew it! I knew y’all couldn’t have been friends all this time and not have tried it out at least once.”

“Jesus Christ, dude, chill,” Javy mutters. He’s always been the better of the two about reading the room.

Trying to spare you from being put on the spot even more than you already were now, Rooster mumbles through the way he’d lost his to a girl from his AP Econ class after a playoff baseball game.

He stares at the way you’re nervously picking at the label of the Blue Moon he’d grabbed for you when he went to get a refill of his own. He can practically hear the way your brain is buzzing. He wonders if you wish you could take back the words from where they are sitting on the table with the collection of bottles and peanut shells for everyone to see.

Bob being the team player that he is starts talking about how he’d lost his one summer in college to another camp counselor, going into more detail than he’s ever given before, probably trying to redirect the attention to himself to give the two of you a moment to regroup.

Rooster makes a mental note to tell Penny to put all of Bob’s cream sodas from now on on his own tab.

He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do here. Or where to look. Or where to put his hands. He wants to talk to you, but there’s no good way for him to go about it without drawing even more attention to the two of you.

You were supposed to be going on a first date tonight, but he’d talked you into canceling to hang out with him instead. He likes having all of your attention on him. And maybe he’s been a little selfish with you, because he doesn’t like to share you with anyone else. You’ve always been his best friend.

Rooster likes that he gets to talk to you whenever he wants now, and that it doesn’t feel like a never-ending game of catch up anymore. In the year since the Uranium mission, he’d felt like all the fragmented pieces of his life had finally come together. He’d reconnected with Mav, he was living in the same city as his best friend, and he had a place he could finally call home.

He didn’t just want the highlights with you, he wanted everything in between too. There’s no more distance due to time zones and scheduling times to call because now you only live 20 minutes away from him. And the next time he comes home from a deployment, he knows he’ll get to look forward to seeing you there waiting for him.

He feels like he’s learned so much more about the grown-up version of you over the last year than he has in the last ten.

Jake jumps in barely a breath after Bob finishes telling his story. “Well, we all know it’s not the first who matters, but who was the best.” Rooster doesn’t trust the gleam in his eyes or the sharp smile on his face. “Since Bradshaw cut you off before, how’s about you go first this time, darlin’. You can tell us about who knocked your socks off. Maybe this time he’ll let you finish, if you know what I mean.”

It’s thinly veiled snooping disguised as chivalry, and it doesn’t fool anyone. Nat’s eyes dart to him briefly, trying to get a read on him.

He’d been 21 at the time. And while he knows more now that he did then, he also knows his name isn’t going to be coming out of your mouth for a second time tonight.

Rooster takes a sip of his beer, needing something to do.

He knows you’ve been with other people. You’d lived with your ex for over a couple years, for fuck's sake. But it was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you to not talk about your sex lives with each other.

His leg starts bouncing again and he realizes he really doesn’t want to hear this. Not because of his ego, but because he doesn’t know what to do about the knot that’s formed in his stomach.

Your mouth opens and closes a couple times before you speak, “That title would also go to Rooster.” The admission is soft, but sure. 

Where his heart had been pounding before, now it feels like it had stopped completely.

It’s been 13 years since that Spring Break. 13 years and he’s still your best?

Barely five minutes ago, he hadn’t known where to look. But now? Now he couldn’t stop staring at you.

He just didn’t understand why you still wouldn’t look at him back.

𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊, 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟎

When you’d floated the idea by Bradley about visiting him at UVA for Spring Break during your weekly phone call, you’d been braced for the disappointment of him already having plans. It was his Senior year, it wouldn’t surprise you if he wanted to go out with a bang and make the most of it. Especially since he would belong to the Navy soon enough.

But he’d taken you by surprise when he started enthusiastically listing off all the places he wanted to show you, planning out your trip like a well-seasoned travel agent before you’d even booked a plane ticket.

You’d started looking up airfare before you’d even hung up the phone. And thirty minutes later you had a confirmation email flagged in your inbox after elatedly charging that aisle seat to the credit card you only used for emergencies.

It had been close to a year since you’d last seen him. He usually spent his Winter Break with your family, but this year he’d stayed on campus for the holidays and it was the longest the two of you had ever been apart since you’d first met him when you were 8.

And maybe that’s why it took you so long to spot him in the Arrivals area of the Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport.

You’ve always prided yourself in being able to pick Bradley out of a crowd anywhere, but in your cursory glance you hadn’t recognized the tall, broad guy with the UVA shirt pulled taut across his chest and wearing a baseball hat backward on his head. It wasn’t until your third searching pass that you’d caught the lips that were quirked up in amusement and those familiar brown eyes trained on you as he leaned ever-so-casually against the faux wood paneling on the wall waiting for you to notice him.

He’d filled out in the months since you’d last seen him. He was more toned than you remembered him being with definition in places where there hadn’t been before. His face had more distinct angles and less baby fat cushioned curves. Still a bit boyish, but he was well on his way to looking like a man.

Bradley raised his hand like he was going to wave, but then he’d mimicked casting a fishing line in your direction and reeling it in. And it was so endearingly stupid- so him- that you couldn’t help but take the bait and made your way towards him with the biggest grin on your face.

You’d ignored the jittery flutter in your stomach as you’d weaved between people and luggage. You’ve never been nervous around your best friend before. There was something that had on your mind a lot as the days to your visit inched closer, but you’d shoved that out of your mind, because you were finally standing in front of him in person for the first time in months. 

“Hey, kid,” he’d greeted you, taking your bag, “Charlottesville must have known you were coming, because she’s going to be sunny for you all week.” As soon as you were within arm’s reach, he tugged you right into his chest for a hug. You could feel the unspoken I missed you in the way he squeezed you just that bit tighter before releasing you.

Then he was dropping an arm over your shoulders and steering you towards the exit and driving you into town in the beat-up car he’d bought after selling his prized Montero, the car that Mav had given him for his birthday.

You’re only there for a week and Bradley doesn’t waste a single moment of it.

After dropping your things off in his dorm room, he takes you straight to campus where he gives you the Official Bradley Bradshaw Certified UVA Tour. He buys you lunch from one of the food trucks in the Amphitheater “for sustenance” before taking you to see the highlights. You start with the Rotunda and then the academic village, making a special pitstop at the Whispering Wall for you to tell it a secret. And then he takes you on a more historical tour, like showing you the exact route he used to streak The Lawn and pointing out the place he’d puked after his 21st birthday.

It’s clear he’d put so much thought into your visit because it seems like there is never a down moment. By the end of the third day you’re more surprised that you don't wake up every morning with a printed itinerary on your pillow.

He sneaks you into the Slaughter Rec Center to rock climb, claiming he had a person on the inside with the right connections. But really from what you could tell, the pretty girl at the check-in counter clearly had a crush on him. He takes you to the batting cages he likes to go to before Dead Week, and spends the time there equal parts making fun of your power swing and trying to fix it.

You get your revenge the next day standing outside of the imposing columns and massive doors to the Fralin Art Museum. Skeptically eyeing the sculpture in the front of the building that kind of looked like a giant wisdom tooth, you mentioned, “I didn’t realize you’d become such a patron of the cultural arts.”

“Hey now, I like artsy shit,” he’d said, only mildly affronted.

You snorted at that. “Is there an exhibit on beer pong and blunt rolling you wanted to see?” Through the window you’d spotted some large landscape oil paintings in ornate gilded frames and carved marble busts of what you assumed were probably of some of the Founding Fathers.

“You just missed that one, it was last month,” Bradley lobbed back, opening the door for you.

“What a pity,” you’d said with a dramatic sigh, “Guess we’ll have to settle for some tasteful nudes instead.”

“If we’re lucky,” he’d muttered under his breath, as you passed under his arm.

And then you’d felt the corners of your mouth kick up.

Turning around you’d pressed your finger to his chest, whispering so the person behind the ticket desk didn’t hear you, “Twenty bucks says you don’t make it thirty minutes in there.”

He narrowed his eyes, taking in your sly grin, “You’re on, kid.”

It’s the easiest $20 you’ve ever made.

The two of you call it a truce only after he tips your kayak into the still chilly Rivanna River.

Later that night, he takes you to a party on “Mad Bowl” that one of his frat friends was hosting. The backyard was all strung up with red and green Christmas lights like they had been too lazy to take them down after the holidays and decided it added to the outdoor ambiance instead of packing them away.

He was still just as protective over you as he was back in high school. Spending the whole night keeping an eye on you and handing you drinks that he’d uncapped himself using the opener that he had on his keychain, the one that still had the little fighter jet charm you’d given him ages ago dangling from it.

The days pass all too quickly as he shows you all of his favorite spots.

You knew UVA wasn’t where he’d originally wanted to be- where he thought he’d be- but you were happy that he seemed happy here.

But in between the late-night microwave ramen and movie watching and crossing off all the things on Bradley’s Spring Break To-Do List, there’d been something you’d been wanting to talk to him about. But you were having so much fun with him, you’d missed your best friend over those long months apart, and you didn’t want to ruin the time you had left with him here.

It lingered at the back of your mind like a phantom hair that you can feel, but can’t ever seem to brush off no matter how many times you attempt to. You felt like you were waiting for the right time that you weren’t sure would ever come. And if you were being honest, you weren’t entirely sure you would even be brave enough to ask if the time came.

The two of you had woken up way before the sun this morning.

If anyone other than Bradley had asked you to wake up before 5 AM to go hike to watch the sunrise, you would have laughed at them. But because it was Bradley, you’d set the alarm without comment. Even though he did have to gently pry you out of his roommate’s bed- with the fresh sheets he told you he bought especially for your visit- and lace up your shoes for you.

The views at Humpback Rock had been worth the hour hike up to the outcrop of craggy rocks. The sunrise painted them a stunning shade of soft orange as the rays illuminated evergreen covered hills and valleys that extended in front of you to the skyline. You and Bradley watched it in silence, shoulders pressed against each other  as you took it all in.

You’re cozied up on your bed for the week, flipping through a book you’d brought with you, but hadn’t touched at all until now when Bradley comes back from the showers. His hair is still damp and the ends are starting to curl a bit.  

He drops a Styrofoam cup of coffee on the nightstand next to you.

You hadn’t been sure what rooming with him would be like, the two of you together 24/7 since his roommate had left to go home for the break.  But it felt like you were two kids at sleepaway camp getting away with mischief rather than two broke college students only pretending to get away with mischief.

He sits down at the edge of his bed, his elbows resting on his thighs, “So.”

“So?” you repeat, blowing on the hot coffee before taking a sip.

“Are you going to tell me what’s been up with you?”

You wince, and it’s not because the coffee tastes like tar. 

“What do you mean?” you try to ask casually.

Bradley gives you a look that says you don’t fool me, kid. “You’ve been squirrely. I didn’t want to press it, but I can tell there’s something on your mind.” He takes a sip of his own milky battery acid. “Are classes going better since you switched majors?”

You nod, looking anywhere else other than at him.

“How are things with your Dad?”

You offer him a shrug.

He sighs your name in exasperation. You can tell he is trying to tamper his frustration at your lack of cooperation.

“Is it a guy?” Bradley tries again.

You swear you feel your heart stop, because you knew what you wanted to ask him, but you didn’t know how he was going to take it.

You fiddle with a string on his roommate’s comforter. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” you admit, tentatively, “But I’m nervous.”

Bradley’s eyebrows pull together as he sets his coffee aside, “C’mon, it’s just me. You can talk to me about anything.”

“It’s more of a question.” One you’re still deflecting from asking.

“Ok, well you know you can ask me anything.” His tiny dorm room feels even smaller as the two of you try to read the other’s face.

Taking a deep breath, you ask the question that’s been rattling around in your brain for weeks.

“Bradley, I was wondering if you’d be my first?”

Less than ten words. That’s all it takes to tilt Bradley’s world off its axis.

He’s loved getting to show you around UVA this week. It wasn’t where he thought he’d end up, but he hadn’t lost sight of where he was going. He was going to be a Naval Aviator one way or another. He just also got to have a normal college experience too, one he’d been excited to share with you.

Bradley had originally been invited to go stay with one of his friends at his family’s beach house, but when you called and asked about coming to visit Charlottesville, it was an easy choice for him. He’d pick you every time.

It had been even better getting to cross off some of the things on the bucket list he’d made for his Senior Year with you in tow, like the hike he’d taken you on this morning.

He loves the views from up there and thought it would be something you’d like too, but he’d never done the hike early enough to catch the sunrise before. It was actually something he was planning on going the morning of graduation as a symbolic way to end his time at UVA, but getting to do it with you was special in its own way.

And while he’d caught you lost in thought more than a few times over the last few days as he showed you around, he never in a million years would have ever expected you to ask him that.

Bradley knows all the words you just used, but they don’t make sense to him in that order.

His brain is working in overdrive trying to figure out if there is any possible way he could have misinterpreted you.

“Your first…”

You take another deep breath and tip your chin up in resolve before looking him dead in the eye, there’s so much vulnerability reflected in them, “I haven’t had sex before, Bradley. And I’m really hoping that my first time can be with you.”

Bradley wants to tell you to put your Styrofoam cup down because he’s worried the tight grip you have on it might crush it, but he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.

He didn’t realize when his leg started bouncing until he sees you glance down at it.

Shooting to his feet and off his bed, he goes to lean against his recently decluttered desk. There’s too much restless energy coursing through him to just sit like he isn’t completely reeling. 

“Shouldn’t you want to do this with someone special? Like with rose petals and all that shit?” He scrubs a hand over his face. Rose petals and all that shit? God, he sounds like such a fucking dumbass, but he’s struggling to keep up.

And if he’s being entirely honest, he’s pretty surprised to learn you’re still a virgin. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but he knows you’ve had at least one serious boyfriend since you’ve gone to college. He figured that you got asked out all the time. He saw the way that some of the guys in his buddy’s frat were looking at the pretty girl with the dimples and big smile.

The girl who just asked him to be her first.

He hates the way your shoulders have slumped forward, like you’re trying not to cave in on yourself, “So, you don’t want to?”

“I didn’t say that.” His answer takes him by surprise.

The only other sound in the room other than his pounding heart is the whir of the air circulating in his dorm. 

“Would it help to make a pro con list?” you offer, less than helpfully with a little shrug.

“Jesus Christ,” Bradley mutters under his breath, looking up at the speckled ceiling trying to decode the flecks like tea leaves. “She’s cracking jokes like she didn’t ask me to make her come.”

“Technically, I didn’t say anything about that. I just asked you to be my first.”

“I’m not taking your virginity and not giving you an orgasm,” he states, and your eyes get wide. He runs his hands through his hair. “Sex makes things complicated, kid. We’ve got a good friendship.”

You sit up straighter on his roommate’s bed and bring your knees to your chest. It exposes the backs of your thighs and he has to shake the mental images of skin on skin out of his head.

There’s a look on your face that tells him you feel ridiculous even asking him, “Do you think you’re going to fall in love with me or something?”

“No,” Bradley says, honestly.

He knows you’re just trying to make a point.

The two of you have been friends for over a decade. He knows he cares about you- he always has- but he couldn’t imagine what anything other than just friendship would look like with you.

You nod in agreement, like you had been anticipating the answer before you’d even asked him the question.

“And do you think I’m going to fall in love with you?” you ask, your head tilting to the side.

He doesn’t even blink, “You can do better than me.”

And he means it.

Even if there was something more between the two of you, you’ve always been too good for him. And knowing him, he’d find a way to fuck it up. You’re the last person in the world he’d ever want to hurt. He’d let you down before, he doesn’t want to do it ever again.

You shoot him a disappointed look, like you don’t like hearing him say that about himself. And he’s oddly touched that you’re defending him against himself. 

“You’d literally be doing me a favor.”

Bradley is still surprised that he hasn’t ended this conversation yet. The two of you were supposed to go to the movies, but that definitely wasn’t happening now.

“I’m not saying no,” he says, “But I need you to help me understand. Why me? Why now?”

“Bradley, I want it to be with you because there’s no one else I’ll ever feel as comfortable with as I do with you,” you explain.

He watches as you unfold yourself and climb off the bed, coming to stand in front of him. You gingerly reach out and put your hand on his forearm, like you don’t want to startle him. Not that he’d be able to move anyways since it feels like the soles of his feet are cemented to the floor.

“I keep waiting for it to not feel like such a big thing, but every time it seems like it’s going to happen, I freeze. And I know you’d take care of me, and I’m not talking about orgasms.” You stumble over the word a bit, not fully meeting his eyes as you say it. “It’s scary enough as a girl and I’m worried I’m going to be too in my head with anyone else. But I also don’t want to look back and have any regrets, and I know I wouldn’t have any with you.”

The mention of regrets makes his stomach twinge. His heart feels like it’s hammering in his chest. He doesn’t know what to say.

You are looking at him with such open sincerity. He has never been good with talking about his feelings, he’s always been the type to bottle things up, while you have always worn your heart on your sleeve. It was just another way that you were braver than him.

“I know it’s a lot,” you say, letting go of him to take a step back, like you want to give him breathing room, “So if it’s too big of an ask. Or if it’s not something you’re comfortable with-”

Bradley shakes his head cutting you off, “It’s not that at all, kid. I just haven’t done this before.” Your eyebrow scrunches together in confusion. “I mean, I have,” he corrects, “But it’s not the same. All the girls I’ve been with had already had experience. And if we were going to do this, I would want to make sure it’s as nice for you as it can be.”

“So you’d be my first and I’d be yours? Well, kind of.” You give him a little smile, it’s a shy but hopeful thing. There’s only a hint of your dimples, but it’s enough. And he feels that practical part of him that had been holding back soften at the sight of it.

He doesn’t think he’s ever said no to you, excluding the times you tried to get him to give you his beer at the house parties he took you to in high school, and that was more out of self-preservation from a healthy fear of your mom than anything else.

When you wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift? He took you to the abandoned parking lot, it didn’t matter that you didn’t have your learner’s permit yet. When you wanted to learn how to throw a punch? He was making sure you knew not to tuck your thumb under your fingers, so that you didn’t break your own thumb instead of someone’s nose.

He’s always had your back and you’ve had his. That’s how it was between the two of you.

You’ve already said it, but he needs to hear it again, “You really want to do it?”

“I really want it to be you, Bradley. I really want to do this with you. I trust you the most.”

He’s always been willing to help you with anything you’ve ever asked of him, why should this be any different? What’s a couple orgasms between friends?

“Ok,” Bradley nods. If it’s to reassure you or himself, he couldn’t say. “I’ll do it. We can do it.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, like you were fully prepared for him to let you down gently, “Really?”

You didn’t ask for his why he was agreeing, but he was going to give it to you anyway.

“I don’t think I’ve told you this, but I lost mine to Samantha Prescod after the game against Centennial that got us a spot at State that year,” he waits until he sees the recognition cross your face before continuing, “But I had also just learned about my mom’s diagnosis and I was trying to find anything I could do to not think about it.” He rubs at a spot underneath his collarbone, it never got any easier talking about his mom. “I think she assumed that I’d done it before, because we didn’t really talk about it. She was there and into it, so it just sort of happened. Actually, I’m pretty sure she only slept with me because she wanted to make her ex-boyfriend jealous, because they got back together like three days later.”

It’s probably for the best that Samantha Prescod lives on the other side of the country now because you look livid. Your eyes spark with anger and disbelief on his behalf.

“It was years ago, it’s fine, kid” he shrugs, trying to brush off your concern. “But if I had a do-over, I don’t know if I’d make the same choice again. And that’s not something I’d ever want for you.” You deserve the rose petals, but he’ll do his best for you. “So we can do it, but I have one condition.”

The relief on your face and the way the tension in your shoulder releases only solidifies his decision.

“Tell me,” you say, taking a half-step towards him, “I want you to be comfortable too.”

Bradley pushes off his desk and meets you the rest of the way, “If you even think you’re feeling uncomfortable- about any of it- I need you to tell me. And we’ll stop and figure out where to go from there. If it’s a change of position, if it’s a full stop and order pizza instead, we’ll do that.” He pauses and reaches out to tip your chin up. “I’ll do whatever you need, got it?”

You throw your arms around him, and his wrap around you just as easily. Your hair smells like the travel sized shampoo he’d picked up for you, figuring you wouldn’t want to use his 2-in-1. You murmur your thank you into his shirt followed by a fuck Samantha Prescod that makes him squeeze you just a bit tighter to him in affection.

When you step back and look at him, your lips twitch upwards, “What’s with the look, Bradshaw? Don’t tell me you’re going to lie back and think of England?”

That makes him chuckle, your joke lightening the mood in only the way that you can do. He rolls his eyes in equal parts exasperation and fondness.

“God, I haven’t been this nervous since I lost my own virginity. I was so stressed I was going to blow my load in two pumps and lose my street cred.”

You snort and send him a smirk, “Well, you must have done just fine. I overheard some glowing reviews in the girl’s bathroom on more than one occasion.”

“I maybe lasted ten trusts, but I had the good sense to eat her out after,” he admits, and then tacks on for good measure, “I’ve gotten better since then.”

“What a stud,” you tease.

This is easier, this feels like the two of you. This should be fun, it shouldn’t feel serious. He can make it good for you.

You look up at him shyly from under your lashes, “So how do we do this?”

He feels like he only just wrapped his head around the idea of it, but now he was facing the very real possibility of seeing you very naked very soon.

“You want to do it now?” Bradley blinks.

“I mean, if you’re up for it.” You scrunch your nose when you realize you’ve made a terrible double entendre. “No pun intended, I promise.”  

He wipes his hands on his pants.

“You sure?” he asks again.

“I’m sure, Bradley. As long as you are too.”

He nods, “Then I guess we just…”

He’s not sure where he was going to go with that. But he’s spared from being roasted by you for making some sure to be lame birthday suit joke because you’re untying the bow on the soft lounge shorts you’d thrown on after your shower from the hike, and all the words get trapped in his throat.

You don’t look at Bradley as you slide your shorts down your legs. And you definitely don’t look at him when you pull your shirt over your head, leaving you in only a soft green mesh bra and your cotton underwear. They’re mismatched, but sex with Bradley wasn’t originally on the Spring Break To-Do List agenda for today.

In fact, you hadn’t even been sure you were going to go through with asking him until he brought up the point that he knew you had something on your mind because you apparently had no poker face.

While it felt like you had a swarm of butterflies whirling in your stomach, you also knew wholeheartedly that this was the right choice for you. Everything he had said had solidified that for you.

You weren’t sure how you were ever going to thank him for this, but you had a lifetime of friendship with Bradley to figure it out.

His room cast in the soft afternoon light, the blinds only partly closed. There are little streaks of gold that line the plaid comforter on his bed. He’d been right, Charlottesville had stayed sunny just for you.

As you climb into it and situate yourself against his pillows, you can help but notice just how much his bed smells like him. It’s not the spicy scent you associated with the High School version of him. The woodsy and warm scent embedded in the threads of his sheets suits this grown up version of him.

You feel equal parts overdressed and underdressed in your bra and underwear. You know the latter are going to come off eventually, so you make a split-second decision to just take them off yourself under his covers. The idea of Bradley helping you to pull them off later seems like it would be too intimate based on the way the thought of it makes your cheeks heat up.

It’s practical, you’re being practical, you think to yourself.

You chance a peek at him and are surprised to see that he hasn’t budged an inch. It’s almost like he is waiting for you to get completely settled before he dares to move a muscle. His eyes are trained on the pile of your clothes on the floor, he looks lost in thought.

“Bradley?”

The sound of your voice seems to kickstart him into action.

He shucks off his shirt in that kind of reckless way that seems to be ingrained in boys and then unbuttons his pants. You’re torn between feeling like you should give him privacy and wanting to watch. What you were expecting is the way he takes the time to pick his clothes up before folding them over the back of the chair at his desk.

Your mouth goes dry as you take in the sight of his body, the diffused light perfectly outlines the shape of him. His broad shoulders are rounded with the muscles he’s gained from whatever exercises the NROTC has been putting him through. Your eyes dip down to his defined chest and over the ridges of his abs. You’ve seen him in swim trunks plenty of times, but seeing the way the muscles of his thick thighs fill out the black boxer briefs he was wearing was entirely new to you.

Bradley approaches you and then pauses as he bends down to collect your pile of clothes on the floor, his hand hesitating only for a second when he reaches for your underwear. He drapes all of your things on top of his on the chair and makes his way back to you.

The gesture makes you melt a little like a soft serve ice cream cone on a summer afternoon.

You lift the corner of the cover for Bradley and he climbs in next to you. You move closer to the wall, trying to make more room for the bulk of him in his small bed, and he shifts in even closer into you until your bodies pressed tight against one another. The curves and angles of the two of you slotting together like pieces of a puzzle.

It feels like the two of you are teetering there on the edge of something. You both know exactly where it’s going, but are unsure of how to make it from Point A to Point B. Both waiting on the other person to make the first move.

He rests his warm hand on your stomach, the muscles there jumping on their own under his touch in anticipation. Your faces are close since you’re sharing his pillow. His brown eyes are searching yours, probably looking for any sign of hesitation that you don’t feel.

“Tell me how you’re feeling.” It’s not a question, but a request.

“Overwhelmed,” you admit, “But in a good way.” He runs his palm lightly up your stomach and back down, soothingly.

“Good, that’s good,” Bradley says, clearing his throat, “You’re supposed to feel a little ‘overwhelmed, but in a good way.’” You feel your lips pull up at his gentle teasing.

He smiles softly at you. His face has always been so familiar to you. The pink from his scars have finally faded, but you wonder when his eyes start crinkling around the corners.

You let go of the comforter to run a finger down the top of his nose, “I don’t know how this has stayed so straight.” He’d been in more than a couple fights in his teen years, including one that had sent him through a sliding glass door.

“Probably the combination of a little luck and the fact that none of those guys could throw a punch,” Bradley smirks. He shifts on his side, propping himself up on an elbow looking down at you, still running his hand along your stomach. “What have you done so far?”

His fingertips circle your bellybutton and your stomach swoops like it’s on the swing carousel ride at the fair.

“Some over the clothes stuff…” you stammer. You’re having trouble focusing because all your attention is on his big hand and how it feels against your oversensitive skin. “And I have a vibrator, but ah…”

You’re so keenly aware of his hand. With every lazy circle he makes, he has you wondering if this is going to be the one where he finally moves his hand lower. That part of you in flutters in expectation because you know it’s coming.

You let out a shaky huff when his fingers trails back up your stomach.

“What is it?” Bradley’s hand stops moving. “What are you thinking?”

“Honestly?” you say, trying not to squirm, “I’m getting really horny and you keep teasing me.”

He presses his lips together like he’s trying not to laugh at your overshare, and there’s amusement in his eyes.

“You know, some people call it foreplay,” he drawls. You’d roll your eyes but his fingertips are by your bellybutton again and you want him to keep going. “You ready for more?” You nod a few times because if he doesn’t touch you soon you might just crawl out of your skin. “Ok, gonna stop ‘teasing’ you now.”

This time his hand doesn’t stop at your bellybutton, it keeps moving down, down.

You stutter over a breath when Bradley’s fingers touch your clit. You feel yourself melt a little further into his mattress. He’s making easy circles, letting you get used to someone’s fingers other than your own on the most sensitive part of you. Your hands are clutching tightly to his comforter, unsure of what else to do with them.

“Spread your legs a little wider for me,” he murmurs. You feel your face heat up. He’d just given you a direction, but it sounds almost indecent coming out of his mouth.

You shift, moving your legs apart further for him, until he secures your left between his own, opening you up even more. You know you’re wet and now he does too. Bradley’s fingers slide easily over you as he increases the pressure on your clit. You can feel the intensity of his gaze on you watching for your reaction as he figures out what you like the most.

It doesn’t take him long to learn your body. You don’t know whether to be impressed with him or embarrassed with yourself at how quickly he’s worked you up.

Your breathing feels so loud in your ears in the quiet room, every breath and sigh is amplified. There’s a certain thrill in not knowing how he’s going to touch you next, your own fingers pale in comparison now.

His warm breath coasts down the side of your neck causing you to shiver at the sensation. It makes goosebumps break out along your arms and your nipples pull taut.

He notices. Of course he notices.

“Are you cold?” His voice is low in your ear.

“No, I-” Oh god, you’re right there. “B-bradley, I’m-” You’ve made yourself orgasm plenty of times, but you’ve never shared that part of yourself with anyone else before. No one knows what you sound like or what you look like when you come. But now, Bradley was going to have the piece of you too. A whine escapes you without your permission.

“It’s ok, kid, I’ve got you.”

You’re seeking and searching, but it’s Bradley’s fingers that have the answer.

And you come with your stomach twitching and hips jerking as he murmurs praise in your ear.

His fingers slow down, featherlight on your clit, but your heart is still racing when he rasps, “There’s one, you up for another?”

Bradley loves that moment during sex when he hears that first gasp or moan. He loves learning what sounds of satisfaction he can pull from his partner. He loves knowing he earned it. But he never in his life could have ever anticipated hearing those sounds from you.

In his bed. Because of him.

He didn’t expect the lick of heat that curled up his spine at the shape of your legs and the curve of your ass as you were stepping out of your shorts. He’d never seen anything so strangely endearing as it was watching you shimmy your underwear off under the shield of his covers.

Every hitch in your breath made his blood run hotter in his veins. He was trying to control his cock, but he’d started getting hard the second you’d pulled your shirt off. Your bra was some kind of sheer thing that left nothing to the imagination, and while he wasn’t trying to check you out- because that’s not how it was between the two of you- he couldn’t help the way his eyes flickered down.

You’re slippery, wet, and warm. And he knows he can make you come again.

“Do you want me to use my fingers now?”

You crack an eye open at him, it’s the first time you’ve opened your eyes since he first touched you. Your eyes are bright in that way that only comes with an orgasm. “I thought you already were.”

“Such a smartass,” he grins.

Bradley changes the unhurried circles he’d been making on your clit to the upstroke that made your hips jerk up into his hand the first time he’d tried it. The little noises you’re making have him fighting the urge to grind himself against you for some relief of his own. He’s still got your knee tucked between his own; where there had been a hint of polite space between your bodies, the way you’re writhing now has him pressed up against your hip.

You gasp, breathily, “Oh, you’re hard.” The disbelief is evident in your voice, but it’s the look in your eyes that he doesn’t know what to make of, something like surprise.

He’s been trying to be a gentleman, this is about you and not him. There might not be anything romantic happening between the two of you, but this was hot and he was more than a little turned on. And he knows you are too because he can feel how wet you are under his fingers.

“’Course I am,” Bradley says, nudging his nose against your temple, “I’ve got a pretty girl in my bed half naked.” He didn’t want you to feel like you were in this on your own, so he lightly rocks against you. He wants you to feel him, he wants you to know he is into this too. “Are you ready more?”

“I’m ready, I want more,” you confirm, wrapping your hand around his bicep.

Your breath hitches as he teases you with just the tip of his finger.

He’s been told before he has big hands and thick fingers, he’s always taken it as a compliment in the past, but now he’s scanning your face for any trace of discomfort as he sinks one into you.

Your eyebrows twitch then smooth out and your mouth drops open as he starts pumping his finger into you in a smooth rhythm.

“That feels nice,” you sigh, airily.

He knows you like it when your hips tip up just a fraction. His comforter is bunched around your waist and your nipples are peaked against the see-through fabric of your bra. He gets his thumb on your clit and you whimper as you tentatively roll your hips against his fingers.

Bradley hums his approval, “Atta girl. There you go, find what feels good for you.” His voice sounds low even to his own ears, a throaty rumble. He feels you clench around his fingers and it sets his pulse racing. It’s a piece of information he tucks away for himself.

He’s gentle on your clit, but now that he knows you’re into it he’s setting a more purposeful pace with his fingers.

You’ve got your bottom lip pinned between your teeth, like you’re trying to swallow down your sounds. He didn’t realize how much he liked hearing these new sounds from you until you started trying to muffle them. On the next slide of his finger into you, he knows exactly what he’s looking for.

You suck in a sharp breath of surprise when he finds it.

“Is that the right spot, kid?” He sounds so smug. You curse and your hand clutches at his shoulder. “You want to try a second finger?” he murmurs into your ear.

“Yes,” you rock into his hand, “Yes, please.”

“Whatever you want, Miss Manners.” His chest feels like he’s taken a shot of Fireball. “You’re so polite when you’re trying to get your way.”

“I’m always polite,” you challenged weakly, pressing your head further into his pillow.

“Mhm,” he indulges, fondly, “You’re the sweetest girl I know.”

And then he fills you with two fingers.

“Jesus, Bradley,” you gasp, offering more of yourself to him.

Your nails dig into the muscle of his shoulder as he lets your whimpers and whines guide his hands.

The two of you have your eyes fixed on the way the tendons of the visible part of his forearm are flexing before it disappears under the covers as he works you.

Bradley curls his fingers into that spongy part of you and your hand flies to his wrist, gripping him tight. It makes him pause, worried that he might have pushed you too far too fast.

“No, no. D-don’t stop,” you plead, desperately, “I’m so close. Keep going, please.” You squeeze his wrist encouragingly.

“Sorry, sorry,” he soothes. He focuses his efforts on that spot again now that he knows you weren’t wanting him to slow down, but rather trying to hold him in place. His fingers inside of you and his thumb on your clit working in tandem to get you there again.

“I just- yes. Like that. Oh fuck. Keep doing that. Oh my god. Please, Bradley.”

He’s heard you say his name a lot of different ways, but never like this.

Your back arches and you twist yourself towards him, burying your face against him and keening into the hollow of his throat as you come around his fingers.

You jerk and writhe into his hand, your knee slips free of his and your thighs clamp together around him. Bradley rolls off the arm he’d been leaning on and brings it to cradle the back of your head, pulling you closer and holding you to him as he steadily works you through it until you’re loose-limbed in his arms.

He waits until your rapid pants have evened out before he slips his fingers from you. The displeased sound that you make makes the corners of his mouth twitch. He should have known you’d be bossy. He rubs gentle circles into the divots at the base of your neck as you come down.

Bradley can feel your lips graze the side of his neck when you finally speak, “So, um, let me know if you need a letter of recommendation or anything. I’d be happy to pass one along to your next partner.” You languidly prop yourself up on his chest and he notes with pride that you look a little flushed. “But, seriously, I get it now.”

He huffs a laugh as he toys with the end of your hair, “I’m glad it lived up to the hype. Well, at least that part of it.”

You press your lips together like you’re deciding something, tracing idle shapes on his stomach, and he can’t decide if he thinks you’re doing it without realizing it or if you’re the one doing the teasing this time. Your eyes flick down to his visibly hard cock and he feels his face heat up, “Can I?”

“Do you want to?” Bradley wants this experience to be everything you need and want it to be, but something about the tables turning here and the idea of you being the one to touch him like that makes his heart pound.

“I want to make you feel good too,” you softly tell him, resting your chin on your shoulder. The tender way you’re looking at him makes his teeth ache.

“Ok, but only for a little bit,” he agrees. Bradley knows he’s walking a tightrope with this, he’s aching and more than ready to be touched, but he doesn’t want to come all over your hand.

He plants his feet into his mattress and lifts his hips enough to pull off his boxer briefs, sighing in relief as his cock bobs free.

“That can’t be average,” you mutter under your breath.

He doesn’t know if you meant to have said it out loud but he smirks all the same, “I’ve never been average a day in my life, kid, Grade A student here.”

A groan slips out of him as your tentative fingers grasp his cock. There’s a lack of finesse in the way you touch him, your hand isn’t nearly as well-practiced as his own. He wraps his hand over yours, guiding your strokes as he shows you just what he likes.

“You can grip it a little firmer,” he coaches. You nod studiously, like you’re going to be tested on it later. Together the two of you work him from root to tip.

Bradley had never given much thought to his size until now. He knew he was big, but seeing that your thumb couldn’t reach the tips of your fingers when your hand was curved around him was an ego boost he didn’t know he needed.

You get more confident with every glide up and down the length of him. Your tricky thumb sweeps over the tip, collecting what precum had gathered there, and it makes your hand slide easier over him. When he accidentally thrusts into your hand, you grin and there are those dimples again.

“Ok, ok,” he blows out a shaky breath, stilling your hand with his. “We gotta stop or I’m going to come. And I’m not about to be a one pump chump.”

“It sounded like you’re more of a ten pump chump, if I remember correctly,” you tease, looking all too pleased with yourself. “Don’t worry, Bradshaw, your street cred is safe with me.”

He shakes his head in amused disbelief, “You’re such a goddamn menace. I knew I shouldn’t have told you that part.” He surprises the both of you when he wraps an arm around you and rolls to pin you under him.

And it’s like all the air is sucked out of the room because your thighs are cradling his hips and his cock is resting heavy on your stomach.

Neither one of you dare to move. He’d give anything to know what you’re thinking right now, he feels out of his depth as he watches you watching him.

His tongue feels thick in his mouth, “Are you on-”

You nod before he even finishes the question.

“Do you have-”

He nods before you finish yours.

“What did you promise me?” he prompts, squeezing the dip of your waist.

You hold up your pinky to him, “I’ll tell you.” He wraps his own crooked one around yours and gives it a shake.

Bradley doesn’t know what comes over him, but he drops a kiss to your shoulder as he reaches over you into the drawer of his nightstand to fish out what he needs. He’s thankful when you don’t comment on it because he wouldn’t even know how to explain it.

He leans back on his knees and rolls the condom on with practiced ease, then flicks open the cap to the bottle of lube he’s also grabbed and drizzles it over his cock.

“Am I not…” you trail off. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard you sound this shy with him before.

“You’re plenty wet,” he assures you, pumping himself- once, twice- just enough to coat himself, “But this’ll be good too. I think you’ll like it.”

Bradley settles back over you, one arm braced by your head and the other on your hip, as your hands come up to rest lightly on either side of his ribcage. He rocks against you to demonstrate; the head of his cock nudges your clit with each silky pass. You exhale heavily at the sensation as he eases you into the motion of it, as he shows you what it’s like with another person.

You’re holding him close, and in just a moment the two of you will be the closest two people can be.

He makes only enough room to reach down between your bodies, only looks away from your face long enough to line himself up with you. There is such trust in your eyes as you gaze up at him, it’s not something Bradley takes for granted.

You nod, your fingers stroking his sides.

God, does he want this to be good for you.

He takes a breath.

And then he’s shifting forward and pressing in.

Bradley thrusts into you with all the careful gentleness you’d expect from him.

His thumb skimming along your forehead as he pushes in, in, in.

When he found that spot inside of you with his fingers, you thought you were going to fly away from the intensity of it, but then he’d pulled you into the safety of his arms and you felt like you could fall apart because he’d be keeping the pieces of you together.

He’s been so good to you. He is so good to you. He’s the best person you know.

The more of him he gives you, the less you feel like you can catch your breath.

You feel hot, hot all over. And much fuller than you’ve ever been.

Some sound must make its way out of you because Bradley offers you a low soothing noise before you feel his lightly chapped lips against your temple.

There’s something about this that reminds you of the time he tried to teach you how to skateboard. Always waited until you told him you were ready, until you found your balance. He’d held your hand as you cautiously rolled along the sidewalk, you were less worried about falling with him by your side. Only this time, his hand is on your waist and the only movements are his hips against yours as he rocks into you.

Little by little. Inch by inch.

You clutch at his biceps at the slight stinging sensation and you feel him hesitate.

“It’s just a lot,” you whisper. His fingers flex on your waist.

“You’re doing so good, just a bit more,” Bradley murmurs, encouragingly.

There’s pressure, there’s a give, and then there’s relief when his hips finally, finally meet yours.

“Shit,” he curses under his breath.

Your eyes had flickered shut somewhere along the way. You open them to see that Bradley’s face and chest are flushed pink, the muscle of his jaw flexing. The furrow between his eyebrows is so deep that you release your grip on him to smooth out the lines with an unsteady fingertip.

He reads the question in your eyes.

“You’re just really tight,” he grits out, voice strained.

You assumed that was a good thing, but he’s holding himself so tense above you that now you’re not sure. “Do I-,” you fumble over the words, “Does this feel good for you?”

He huffs an incredulous laugh, and brushes back some hair from off your face, “You feel really fucking good, sweet-”

Your whimper cuts him off when he pulls out a fraction and then pushes back in.

His brown eyes take you in as he does it again, more this time. Pulling out just a bit- just enough- and then filling you again. The discomfort fading more with each thrust as he guides his hips to yours until yours are tilting up to meet his seeking more.

It’s a conversation between your bodies, the give and the take of it all as Bradley introduces you to this new unspoken language. You feel yourself flutter around his cock, stretched wider than you’ve ever been.

You feel that heat spreading underneath your skin again as he surely and steadily pumps into you. It feels like your nerves are on fire. You didn’t expect to even come once and you’re well on your way to a third.

He reaches down and hooks your leg over his hip. His hand slides up along the outside of your thigh and under your ass, tilting your hips up towards his even more. He’s so much deeper like this. Your hands slide into his hair, tugging at his curls.

“Bradley, I-I think… I feel-”

 “You’re gonna come,” he rasps, nodding at you. Encouraging, coaxing.

He grinds his pelvis against your clit with every deliciously slow roll into you.

Your mouth drops open at the feel of it, it’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined. You don’t think your faces have ever been closer than they are now. Bradley is breathing your air, and you’re breathing his. Bradley’s pupils are blown wide, his heavy-lidded eyes are locked on yours. You didn’t know there could be so many shades of brown. His curls are a mess and it’s all because of you. He licks his lips and your breath catches in your throat when his eyes dart down to your parted mouth.

His next thrust into you hits that spot inside of you just so right that it has you gasping.

It’s so good, it’s too good, it’s overwhelming.

You wrap your arms around his neck clinging to him, your face buried against him. Bradley drops his head to your shoulder, you feel his lips brush against your clavicle. Your head moves away on instinct, making more room for him if he wants to do it again.

You get lost in the feeling of his cock hitting you in all the places you’ve heard about and read about, but have never felt for yourself until now. He’s still got your ass gripped in his hand, whereas your hands can’t stay in one spot. They’re tangled in his hair, running over his shoulders and down his abs, gliding over his back aided by the sheen of sweat he’s worked up.

You’re not trying to hold yourself back, but it feels like you’re standing on the tallest diving board at the pool, your toes curled around the edge, but still too nervous about the drop to jump.

“C’mon, kid. You’re right there,” he breathes hard, “I need you to come for me. Just one more.”

He gets his fingers back on your clit and it’s the end of you. Your back is arching so much you think you might snap. Your toes curl so tights they may never unfurl. The force your orgasm overtakes you, demanding everything you have up to offer and then some.

You hear Bradley’s moan as you pulse around his cock, trembling under him as the waves of pleasure wash over you. His hips stutter against yours, finally losing that steady rhythm he’d set, you pull him tighter to you and it’s not long until he comes too.

It’s all white noise. All you can feel is your heartbeat pounding, until little pieces of the world come back into focus.

The hum of the fan.

The beam of warm afternoon light through the blinds.

The smell of the now cold coffee on his nightstand.

In the after, you’re all too aware of every place your body is touching Bradley’s.

He’d somehow managed to roll on his back and had taken you with him. He was literally just inside of you, but yet it feels like your leg draped over his thigh is somehow more intimate. A prickly self-conscious feeling settles over you. Unsure of what the rules were for friends who just had sex, you attempt to peel yourself off of him, but the heavy arm over your waist keeps you in place.

“Come back here, kid,” Bradley mumbles, his eyes still closed, “I need to cuddle after I come, so I’m gonna need you to indulge me here for a moment.” He strokes a soothing hand down your back. And while he says it’s for him, you know he’s still trying to take care of you.

He hums when you lay back down. You set a hand on his chest. He reaches for it with his free one and threads your fingers together. It makes you melt further into him.

You feel a little different. But mostly, you feel like a weight you didn’t know you’d been carrying had been lifted off of you.

Your first time was everything you hoped it would be. You were safe and cared for, and you already knew, you’d never have any regrets about it. And it was all because of him.

“Thank you, Bradley,” you say, softly.

“Anything for you, kid.”

Your early morning catches up with you as you lay there, warm and secure. Your eyelids get heavier with each pass of Bradley’s hand along your spine. And you drift off to the sound of his heartbeat under your ear.

You’re still you. And Bradley is still Bradley.

It was just… something between friends.

A few hours later the two of you are still in his bed.

Only now you’re clothed and swapping the cartons of Chinese food that he’d ordered while you’d napped against his chest, and fighting over the fortune cookies watching some reruns of old sitcoms. You couldn’t hear their laugh tracks over your own.

The last couple of days you had at UVA fly by just as quickly.

You don’t know how, but the two of you managed to cross of all the things on his Spring Break To-Do List. And before you knew it you were back at the airport.

Bradley had insisted on walking you in, wanting to see you off.

Neither one of you has ever been good with goodbyes. So you don’t give him one, instead you reach for your bag and tell him, “Ok, see you in June.”

Bradley doesn’t let go, clearly confused, “What the hell are you talking about?”

You grin because it feels like a checkmate.

“You didn’t think you’d be getting that diploma all by yourself, did you?”

He looks thunderstruck.

You and your mom already had the plane tickets and hotel room booked. Your stepdad wouldn’t be able to come, but he was planning on sending your mom with one of the cakes from his family’s bakery. You’d been tasked with finding out what flavor, carrot cake or peanut butter- Bradley’s two favorites- but you could iron out the details with him later.

You’d had a busy week, plus it was more fun this way.

Bradley tugs you into his arms, yours wrap around him just as easily as they always have.

“June?” he asks into the crown of your head.

“June,” you promise.

And when he lets you go- for real this time- it’s with a smile that takes up his whole face.

He doesn’t say goodbye either, “Be good, kid. See you in June.”

𝐍𝐎𝐖

You avoid Rooster for the rest of the night.

And Jake too, for that matter. Bless Javy for finding ways to distract him because you could tell than man was chomping at the bit for more details. But you’d already given him more than enough.

You could have lied, you probably should have lied. It might have been easier than feeling like you’d hung up part of yourself on the drying line for everyone to see. But in that moment, the thought of lying and saying anyone else’s name other than Rooster’s had made your stomach turn.

Because it was the truth, he was your first, but he was also your best.

When you come out of the bathroom, there’s no missing Rooster. He’s leaning against the wall by the entrance. It takes him a moment to notice you since he looks lost in thought, but when he does you feel pinned to the wall by the intense look in his eyes.

He stands to his full height as you approach, you know he wants to talk about it.

You shake your head at him, “We don’t need to do this.”

“No, kid, we really do.” He takes you by the arm and leads you to a quieter spot away from everyone else.

“It was just a game,” you start before he can, “And now I know more about everyone’s sex life than I ever wanted to.” He crosses his arms over his chest at your attempt at deflection. “Look, I’m really sorry if that was something you wanted to keep a secret or just between us. I should have asked you first if that was ok to share.”

“I don’t care about that.” Rooster waves you off and takes a step closer to you, his eyes searching yours. “All this time and I’m the best you’ve ever had?”

“Are we really doing this? Here and now?”

You peer around him to look and see if anyone is watching the two of you, it feels like a showdown. But all the Daggers are occupied, probably on purpose. You’ve never seen Mickey with such a serious look of concentration on his face.

“Here and now,” he confirms.

You feel flustered, “Rooster, it’s been 12 years and we haven’t talked about it once-”

“Bradley,” he cuts you off. He takes another step towards you, so you’re toe to toe with him. “I’ve always been Bradley to you.”

The tension that had crept up in your shoulders releases a bit.

“Bradley,” you say, softly. “Listen, I’ve had a lot of good sex since then. Great sex even.” He presses his lips together and nods. “And with other men, if I felt like they weren’t putting in their best effort I’d kick them out because the bar was set very high early on.”

You see him fight back a smirk.

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs, with pride.

Your breath gets caught in your throat, you know he hears it because his eyes take on a richer shade of brown. You both feel the shift, tension churning between the two of you.

Taking a deep breath, you continue, “But I was telling the truth when I said you were my best. Probably because of the way you made sure I knew that you cared. I don’t know how to describe it. It was just different with you.”

You feel his finger graze the back of your hand.

The sounds of the Hard Deck fade into the background as you stare at each other. Entire conversations are being had as you look into his eyes and he looks into yours. Words and sentences spoken with glances.

Just friends don’t look at each other like this.

“It’s never been like this,” you whisper, “We’ve never been like this before.” You gesture at how close he is to you.

How he’s almost got you backed up against a wall.

How he’s looking at you like you’re his.

“I know.”

He says your name and your heart somersaults in your chest.

“I want to see your tattoo. I keep finding myself looking for it when we’re all at the beach. And then I get annoyed, knowing that people have seen it and I haven’t.”

“My tattoo? Bradley, what-”

“I want to see your tattoo,” he repeats like it’s a fact. “And I want to punch Seresin in his smug face every time he flirts with you.”

You roll your eyes, “Jake doesn’t flirt with me, not really. He just likes riling you up.”

“What if I said I wanted to try this as more than friends.” Bradley settles a large hand on your hip. “What if I said that since you’ve moved here I’ve had a hard time keeping my head on straight.”

“Bradley.” His name falls out of your mouth so easily now that it can.

“I want to take you home with me. I want to kiss you. I want to make you come. I need to know if you sound the same in my bed. And then I want to take you out for breakfast and buy whatever fancy coffee you want and as many pancakes as you can eat.”

You’ve been told that you wear your heart on your sleeve, but he has always worn his on his face. There’s no mistaking the open want on his face.

“Bradley, it’ll be different this time.” For so many reasons.

Because it’s not a favor being asked. It’s not some new experience being tried with the person you trust the most, with everything. You’d be on equal footing. It wouldn’t be a friend helping a friend, the two of you would be crossing that line between friends and more because you want each other in that way.

“I want it to be different, sweet girl,” he says, cupping your face in his familiar hand, “I’m ready for it to be different, if you are.”

He looks from your eyes down to your parted lips.

“We didn’t do that last time,” you whisper. Feeling brave, you reach out and run your fingers along the buttons of his shirt.

“No, we didn’t,” he agrees. His eyes are trained on his thumb as he skims it under your lip. “And that’s a damn shame.”

Bradley’s face is all you can see. Warm eyes, a still-straight nose, and a soft smile that is for you and you alone.

He dips down and your eyes flutter closed, your head tipping up on its own in anticipation.

His lips brush your cheek. It’s not enough.

You tug on his collar, but he chuckles and kisses your cheek again, lingering longer this time.

“I’m not kissing you for the first time around the corner from a bathroom,” he rasps.

You open your eyes and see the amusement in his. He always did like teasing you.

“Oh, where do you plan on doing it then?”

“Outside your front door, like a gentleman,” he says, like it’s obvious.

You can’t help but grin because Bradley Bradshaw can’t wait the extra 10 minutes it would take to drive to his place instead of yours. He wants that kiss just as badly as you do. You watch as a matching smile to yours blooms across his face.

It feels normal to slide your fingers between his much larger ones. It feels right as you lead the way out of the Hard Deck with him only a step behind you.

As it turns out, he only makes it as far as the Bronco before he’s spinning you back towards him and pressing you against it. His hands are on your hips and yours are wrapped around his neck as he kisses you for the very first time.

Bradley kisses you like a man who knows what he wants. And what he wants is you.

It’s not tentative in the way that first kisses usually are.

He kisses you like he knows you.

Because he does.

Later, when he closes the door to the Bronco for you, it feels like the end of one thing. But as he slips his fingers into yours when he backs out of the parking space it feels like the beginning of something new.

That night tangled in Bradley’s sheets- he’d kissed you at every light which made those extra 10 minutes it took to get to his home worth it- he makes your back arch and your toes curl as he makes you come with his fingers and mouth and tongue and cock. His lips dropping kiss after kiss on every part of you that he can reach. Because he can, because you want him and he wants you. 

The way he touches you tells you that he remembers it all.

He was you first, but what you wouldn’t learn until later, is that he would also be your last.

And he’d be the only man to ever have your entire heart.

Happy Birthday Jordan! An AU just for you! 💖 I adore you and I hope this year is the best one yet!

A big thank you to @callsignspark and @ofstoriesandstardust for their help and beta reading and their woogirling! I appreciate you two so much!

Author's Note: this was a "what-if" AU set in the 'Like I Can' universe! If you want to read about what really happens you can read it here!

You can read more of my stories here!

Taglist:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken  @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @ofstoriesandstardust @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader

[mylifemydiary]

Bubba

8/25/23

I love all my sons, but while I don't have a 'favorite', there's no denying the bond I have with my baby is different.

I wasn't trying to get pregnant when I was 18 and my oldest came along. I WAS trying to get pregnant with my middle child, but literally on the first try we conceived. I went off the pill in January and boom by February we were pregnant. So I naively assumed it would work the same way when we started trying for another baby. We knew going into it that he would be the last, and negative test after negative test was starting to wear me down. After months of trying, I finally got a 'YES' on the pregnancy test. Then came the gender. I am old enough to warrant the old lady testing, which gives you the gender if you want it, and I will never forget being at Target in the aisles and clicking on the email. Some women with two boys already might be praying for a little girl, but not me. I wanted another boy with everything I had. And I got him. I didn't even want a gender reveal just in case it wasn't a boy and I would be visibly disappointed, forever captured on camera.

I have been with him every day since birth, almost 14 months now. With my oldest, I was back to work at 6 weeks. With my middle child, I went back to work at about 3 and a half months. I did take off at 9 months to stay at home with him after that though. But this baby, day and night I have been with him. Even when I work part time, he can see me through the window. I still do his dinner with him even though I'm working. The daycare workers aren't allowed to change his diapers or feed him, so I still do that. If he cries for me too much, I can just walk in and get him. Knowing that he is the last baby makes everything that much more bittersweet. I hold him longer, take more pictures, stare a little harder. Try to remember to be in the moment and take it all in, because this will be the last time I'll see and do all these things with a baby that is my own.

All of this is coming to mind now that in 3 short months I will be going back to work fulltime. My soon to be 5 year old is ready for the change, he needs the socialization and structure. But my baby... I'm not sure I'M ready to leave him with strangers all day. He will wonder where I am, if I'm coming back, where I went. It hurts my heart to think about it. I know they'll send me pictures, and tell me when he eats and how much, and when they change his diapers, they did that with my middle son when he went there. I know he'll be taken care of. But he won't be with ME. His Mama. Or more importantly, I guess, I won't be with HIM.

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part Two: Dragging your friends into sandstorms is also not a recommended way to treat depression but at least this one worked

So back to journeys, where Satoshi has just lost three battles in a row and a sandstorm is luring people in over in Hoenn.

Goh is immediately excited about the prospect of a pokemon hiding in the sand and goes to ask Satoshi about coming along. It's a fun note of Goh's character devlopment that his immediate wish is to go together. Goh at the start of the season would easily have abandoned Satoshi to go research on his own, but it doesn't even cross his mind for a second in this episode. Great work Goh!

Satoshi's not doing too hot. He's curled up in a corner talking to himself about how he's dropped a whole class. Goh tells him to cheer up, it was only a few battles, this does not work. Another similarity to the xy episode.

We can see more of the root of the problem here, that Satoshi fears he won't be able to live up to his dreams and that trying is fruitless. Now I know we're on the jp dub but I really wanna shout out the english, because in the english dub satoshi says "Battling (Dande)'s a dream I should get out of my head, I don't deserve it."

"I don't deserve it", like I don't think there's a clearer way to represent the issue here than this line. He doesn't "deserve" to battle Dande, he doesn't even deserve to dream about it.

Goh dismisses these ideas and drags Satoshi out to Hoenn to go find the pokemon in the sandstorm.

They get to the sandstorm, Goh's excited, Satoshi's still upset. Back to the tried and true method of "just don't be sad"! Which of course, does not work.

We can already see the similarites to Serena in Goh's actions. Both try their hardest with genuine intent to cheer up Satoshi using methods that work for them. (You can argue Serena was trying a bit harder here since Goh had alternate motives at play). However, what changes here is what they do afterwords.

The problem of dismissing someone's negitivity as not like them remains and I'm still salty about it, but at least in this senario Goh is affirming Satoshi's postivity and not getting upset with him while he's actively upset. It's marginally better but the problem remains.

But that's not why I love this episode. What matters to me is what comes next.

Despite the distraction, Satoshi's still caught up in his eariler problems. He hasn't actually resolved them, so he can't let them go yet.

The boys make their way through the sandstorm, Goh rescues some people from the sandtrap, its going alright. At least until we run into flygon. Or more specfically, until Goh asks Satoshi for his help battling Flygon.

This is Satoshi's expression when Goh asks him for help. Despite agreeing, he's clearly hesitant about this. He doesn't feel confident in his ability to battle the Flygon. He's so out of it he forgets the type match ups, and uses electric moves on a ground type, which of course are ineffective.

Satoshi continues to self loathe, berating himself for not thinking. His hat begins shading his eyes when this happens! He gets caught up in his mistakes and begins to feel as though everything is hopeless.

Now, Goh doesn't do any of the 'no don't say that, you have to believe in yourself' stuff here. Instead, he keeps battling. He instead redirects the focus back to the fight, which is sort of the more pressing issue. It's also a good way of dealing with the problem as well! Goh's actively strategizing, looking for the next step to take. By doing that he's telling ash, indirectly, not to give up yet because there are still concrete steps to take, and that things aren't hopeless!

Satoshi is still paying attention to the battle though, and picks up on Goh's strategy. Goh and Satoshi also share a glance with each other when Flygon disappears under the sand.

Messon gets beaten and recalled.

and Satoshi begins to spiral. He gets so caught up in his previous losses that he visibly flashes back to them. He panics over what's dangerous for the pokemon, and the footage flashing specifically shows Riolu's losses and it being in pain after being attacked.

Both Pikachu and Goh call out to Satoshi in concern after he falls over and doesn't get up. Satoshi's body langauge is imporant here but unfortunately image limit. He's not clentched up, his fingers are loose. even when he grits his teeth, the rest of his body language all together reads as though he's gone slack. Unfortunately, Goh's attention is pulled away by the Flygon attacking again, and the battle resumes with Rabbifoot.

Satoshi protests Goh's strategy, still afraid that battling in too close is dangerous. Goh turns to him for a moment, but has to keep his attention on Rabbifoot. This actually pulls him out of dazed body langauge, as he tense and clenches his fists when Goh starts to put himself in danger. He's concerned for Goh and Rabbifoot!

Satoshi wonders what Goh's thinking, and he's not even looking at the battle anymore. He's just staring at Goh intently.

Or at least, until Rabbifoot successfully executes the strategy, and uses the meteors as part of ember. It's a wonderfully animated sequence, and it works! Goh's proud and excited, all the pokemon jump around happily, and Satoshi just sits there dumbfounded, though visably relieved as well (eyebrows are no longer drawn together) before he begins to laugh.

But Goh's not done helping out Satoshi, and this is what sets this and the xy episode apart, this is where everything comes together.

Goh does what he does best, a big dramatic monolouge. He tells Satoshi that he learned all those tactics from Satoshi, it's the first thing he tells him before he even explains.

Goh tells Satoshi plainly that he does know how to do this, he's a good battler and he can succeed when he remembers to work with his pokemon in tandem and doesn't get caught up in things. And he tells him this right after he proves it to Satoshi's face.

Satoshi learns from examples, from doing, and Goh uses that as best he can. He gives Satoshi the example first, and then explains it later.

And the visual symbolism is incredible here because as Goh tells this to Satoshi the sky clears behind him.

I cry over this part everytime. What better way to show that Goh has helped free Satoshi from the mental fog, that his words have cleared the way for him.

And of course, Goh keeps a smile on his face the entire time.

He continues to talk about working together with his pokemon, something Satoshi was neglecting to do because of his fear of not being good enough and letting those pokemon down.

Satoshi reflects on this, adjusting his hat so it hides his eyes as he does. However, he's in control of this now, actively holding the hat in his hand, symbolizing that while he's still upset, he's in control of his emotions now!

Goh specifically kneels down to meet Satoshi at his level and speak to him directly, he puts them on equal ground.

He talks more about strategy, and then he says a line I adore.

"Battling sure is complex, isn't it, Satoshi?"

Goh doesn't like battling, we know this. We know his only interest in it is as a means to an end and because he cares about Satoshi. And he says this because he's showing Satoshi how much he's learned from him. To really drive home that he attributes everything he just accomplished to Satoshi. All that trust and skill and work! Not to mention the fact that this is a call back to what Goh said after Satoshi won the Flutes in episode seven! Incredible, truly!

And Satoshi laughs and flops over, to which Goh worries. But Satoshi is smiling again, truly smiling. He calls himself stupid, the self loathing hasn't gone away entirely, but he is smiling, and he's staring up into the sky happily. There is no shade over his eyes anymore!

He finally addresses his pokemon again, with words similar to what he said in xy, and of course his pokemon love him and lay down with him. It's really cute <3.

And thats where the episode ends! My goodness, do I adore this episode. It's beautiful and i think about it all the time.

It's about finding new and crazy strategies to win, and when talking things out or distracting him doesn't work, Goh tries a new strategy that does! If he can't use ember and win with one strategy he'll try another. can't cheer up Satoshi with one strategy? try another.

What sets them apart is that Goh keeps going and stays by Satoshi's side, where as Serena got caught up in her feelings and ran off. Goh visbly takes Satoshi's way of learning and expressing things into account, and Serena doesn't make it that far.

There's so much care and effort that Satoshi and Goh share and it means the world to me. I can't wait to see what other moments they'll share in future, and what other parallels will be drawn!

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings, Thank you so much for reading this all.

[the-starryknight]

The Pleiades Were Watching Too Rated: M | Major Character Death | 1k

For the 2021 Summer Writin' Challenge: Week 3 (still time to join us!!) Prompt: A Bonfire, Trope: Found Family, Craft: Future Tense, Characters/Objects: A tattooed old lady (well, this one's a stretch) Summary: A house. A marriage. A love story. He'll pour every memory out, vial by vial, back into the earth. It's easier that way. Thanks to @sweet-s0rr0w for the wonderful beta on this!

Tomorrow, he will go to the Obliviator. He’ll sit in the overstuffed leather armchair and tap his fingers against the old metal studs on the arms. The office will be too orange, fluorescent and cheerful, with a wallpaper pattern left over from the seventies.

Harry will spend the first twenty minutes of their session complaining about how no one wants to forget happy things, so it makes no sense to decorate like this will be anybody’s happy place.

And the Oblivator — “Maia,” she’ll remind him, “Call me Maia, Harry” — will look old enough to be the original decorator with big hair and bright clothes. Harry will spend more time staring at her inked, psychedelic forearms instead of her eyes as he complains; it’s easier to pretend he’s not really there, to lose himself in the incandescent tattoos instead of grief.

“Where shall we begin today?” she’ll ask him, even though she’ll know the answer.

“July seventh,” he’ll say, “2007.”

She’ll make a note on her clipboard like they don’t see each other every day anyway. Her notes will list out the seven years they’ve already finished, their corresponding memories in vials on her shelf.

Those were the worst years, because he felt the memories most viscerally, but Maia is good at her job and it’s more of a dull ache now. Harry could think about those years if he wanted, but it’ll be more like looking into someone else’s Pensieve than remembering.

And so he’ll talk about July seventh, and the bonfire by the beach. He’ll tell her what it felt like to watch the stars wake up, the fire’s sparks bright orange against the bruise-black sky.

There will be parts of this memory that can stay: the feeling of Ginny finally, finally touching his arm and laughing with him like they were friends again, the way that Ron looked in the firelight, orange from head to toe and happy, and the brush of Charlie’s hand as he passed over a beer, like Harry could be one of them, like he was allowed to call them family.

But the Draco parts, those will go. He’ll describe every detail of bringing a beer over to Draco, where he sat alone by the fire because the Weasleys hadn’t warmed to him yet. Harry will remember — just for a moment, in the safety of her awful patterned walls — the feeling of Draco’s knuckles against the back of his hand.

“I told him he was fucking gorgeous in the firelight,” Harry will say. “Just like that. Fucking gorgeous in the firelight, like we’d both forgotten about Vincent Crabbe and the war and all the bridges we burned between us.”

“And had you forgotten?” she’ll ask, tapping her pen against the clipboard, and she’ll be right to ask. As if they could ever forget; they carried the war with them to bed and back and found sharing the weight made it all easier.

It’ll feel like such a stupid detail to want to erase, but he’ll tell her about it anyway: the way that Draco’s eyes lit up gold by the flickering flames as he taught Harry the constellations. Harry will tell her about messing them up just so Draco could correct him.

He’ll tell her how Draco won the Weasleys over with the Pleiades and his story of the seven siblings in the sky. He’ll tell her how that night changed everything, because suddenly Draco was allowed to stay.

She’ll lean over and hand him one of her sterile bottles.

He’ll unspool the memory at wand-tip, letting it sink into the vial, viscous and bittersweet. He’ll press the cork in and that’ll be that. It won’t get rid of the memory, but it’ll feel a little lighter, like unpicking a knit blanket one stitch at a time.

“Obliviate,” she’ll cast, and that’s when peace will come. The memories will feel like fingerprints on glass in his mind until they finish the whole process and wipe him clean.

Each moment Maia erases will sit in the vials in her office till they’re done, just in case there’s a mistake. There won’t be a mistake, though, and when it’s over, Harry can take the vials and do whatever he wants with them.

“Most people prefer to keep them,” she’ll remind him, and he’ll roll his eyes. “You might change your mind.”

“I won’t,” he’ll say again. “I gave him every trace of love I had. I don’t have any left without him.”

“You have your friends,” she’ll try, but they’ll both know it’s futile. “Your Ron, your Molly, and the others.”

The Weasleys’ love will last, as deep as ever, but it won’t be the same. Draco’s not in his future, so he won’t be in his past anymore.

He’s going to destroy every vial.

He’s going to pour them out onto the fresh dirt where they put Draco, and he’s going to watch the silver sink into the soil and he’s going to forget every second they had together. He’ll forget the laughs, and the touches, and the feeling of Draco’s hands on his hips, in his hair. He’s going to forget the taste of Draco on his tongue, sweat-slick and sticky after too long in bed. Every argument, every anniversary, every birthday spent by the water, by the fire, it’ll all go into the dirt, laid to rest with him.

But for tonight, he’ll curl up in the too-big bed and press his nose into the pillowcase. The sheets won’t smell like Draco anymore, but if he turns his head just right, he can pretend.

He can look out the big window and stare at the too-bright stars and count the seven sisters, and pretend that Draco’s next to him, counting with him. He can pretend that if he says their names out loud just right — Alcyone, Electra, Merope — the silence of Draco not-correcting him won’t feel so loud.

Soon enough, he’ll forget that they ever shared this bed. It’ll be easier that way.

Read The Pleiades Were Watching Too on Ao3!

Past weeks: I. Let it Come to Them (Fluff) | II. By Merlin's Hand, Save Him (Action)

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Love On-Set (Pt. 03 of 10)

Pairing: Dacre Montgomery X Reader

Word count: 2.9K

Summary: You knew acting on Stranger Things season 3 would be a challenge, and you also knew, from the start, you'd have to work closely with Dacre Montgomery. But is wasn't a big deal for you, since this is your job and you're determined to act professionally. You had it all figured out, or so you thought, until the moment you were out face to face with Dacre. Then, this job became a lot harder than it was supposed to be, since you can't seem to focus whenever you're around Dacre. And you'll have to be around him a lot until the end of production.

<- Previous part (02)

Next part (04) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Something Else

Walking among the girls, you finish your milkshake and throw the empty cup away. Natalia invited you for a girls night out at the mall, to relax and introduce you to Millie and Sadie. You just bought a new dress and a necklace to match, and now you're just looking for new interesting stores.

You really needed this tonight. As you keep up with their conversations, you can't help but think about what James told you to do. The kissing scene will need a lot of courage, not only professionalism. You've been telling yourself it's just a kiss and that this is your job, but somehow it's not enough. But it's normal, isn't it? To be nervous about kissing a handsome guy.

After a while, you all sit at a table, wondering what to eat for dinner. Nothing healthy, you agreed.

“(Y/N). How are things going with you?” Millie asks, getting your attention. “Are you enjoying playing Amy?”

“I am. She's an amazing character and I like her development.”

“Her whole arch happens around Billy and he needed Amy,” Sadie adds, still finishing her ice cream. “It's good to know he'll change.”

“And how are things with Dacre?” Natalia asks. “The two of them were chatting a lot today in the van.” It gets you some giggles and meaningful stares.

“Dacre wants to make me feel comfortable around him since... We'll be acting a lot together.”

“Dacre is very sweet. You'll have no problems acting with him.” Sadie says, and Millie nods.

“There's a kissing scene, isn't there?” Natalia makes the favor of reminding you of the only thing you're trying not to think about. “It will be a turning point for the characters.”

“Yes, it's scheduled for a couple of weeks from now but...” If you keep this a secret, it'll become a big deal, and you don't want it to be a big deal. And you're among girls who might actually be able to help. “James wants Dacre and I to do it before. The whole thing. Get it on camera and send it to him. He told us that we're doing so well that he wants to push it to the next level.”

“I watched your scene together earlier today. You seemed pretty nervous.” Natalia says, typing something on her phone before looking at you again. “I'm not sure if it was Amy or if it was you.”

“Good question.” You mutter, not sure if you should tell them your insecurities. “I'll just do it. It'll happen anyway.”

“Have you spoken to Dacre about it?” Millie asks.

“Not yet.”

“Then do it. I'm sure he'll make you feel comfortable.” Millie has a funny expression on her face, and you wonder what's she's thinking about. She gives Sadie a glance, then Natalia.

“Yes, just sit and talk. Like in the van. You two seemed pretty comfortable around each other.” Natalia shrugs her shoulders, smiling.

“I get that she's nervous. Any girl would be nervous about kissing Dacre. I mean, look at the guy.” Francesca remarks, and you nod, happy that she spoke it and you didn't have to.

“Thank you.” You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air. “It's just natural.”

“Of course it is.” Millie states after whispering something with Sadie. “He's single, by the way.”

“Oh.” You haven't given that any thought. It never crossed your mind because when it's a job, you have to do it anyway. But now... Now it won't leave you alone. “That's... That's good.”

“What about you?” Francesca gives you a look.

“Single too.” You keep your voice low, trying not to make it such a big deal.

“Isn't that great," Millie exclaims. “I did say Natalia and Charlie would have a thing and I was right. And this...” She points a finger at you, smirking. “...I see this going down the same road.”

Gasping, you nervously giggle. “I wouldn't count on it. It's Dacre we're talking about, he's...” Your voice fades since you don't really know what to say.

“Gorgeous? Yeah, we all can see that. But he never approached any girl on set as he approached you, so...”

“Well, I won't give it much thought, Millie. I need to focus on Amy. On bringing her to life.” Nodding, more to yourself then to the girls, you make a self note to stick to your job. You're probably just mesmerized by everything, but it'll soon fade away and you'll be able to act as a professional around him.

At least you hope so.

•••

The next two weeks are hectic. You've been on set all day, shooting all the scenes at the pool. In between the takes you met the kids, and everyone was very kind to you. James never seems to get Heather's scenes right, which means you always have to stay in the background as she walks around. And there's also some scenes with the kids and Nancy, on which Amy tells her what she saw in the woods, what will bring the characters together. James wants all the scenes in the pool during daylight done before moving ahead, so there won't be anything else happening until everything is perfect.

You don't mind though. This routine has been keeping you from thinking too much about the director's request. You haven't spoken to Dacre about it yet, and James seems to have forgotten. After another long day, you showered and changed into your own clothes and headed to the van that will take you back to the hotel. You're the first one to get there, so you pull the door, leaving it wide open for the others, and move to your usual place at the back of the van. Putting the headphones on, you close your eyes, feeling the song.

A sudden movement snaps you out of your state, and you open your eyes again, seeing Dacre as he comes to his usual seatnbeside you. “Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.” He says with a smile. It's been part of the routine now. Dacre always seats with you, and you talk all the way to and from the set.

“You didn't, I was–”

“Dacre!” Someone calls from outside, and he sighs before turning around and stopping by the door. “Is (Y/N) there?”

“Yes.” As he answers, you make your way to the door to, poking your head out to see Ryan, James' assistant, coming your way and stopping a few feet away.

“James asked me to remind you of the scene he wants you to go over. The kiss.” He says, covering his eyes with one hand to protect them from the setting sun.

“Alright. Thanks, Ryan.” You say before heading back to your seat, feeling as Dacre follows you.

Just sit and talk. You've been chatting a lot during the last few days, and this is just something you'll have to do. “I–”

“Why don't you come over to my room tonight?” You burst out, cursing yourself for cutting him off. “An hour after we get to the hotel so we'll have some time to rest and relax before getting into work again.” The words come out fast, and you avoid his eyes.

“Why are you so nervous about it?”

“I'm not.” You answer too fast again, taking a deep breath and biting your lip.

“I always have the feeling you're holding things back.” His voice is low and sweet, and it makes you look at him, despite the heat on your cheeks. “It's alright if you're nervous about it, I just hope I'm not making you feel so uncomfortable.”

“You're not, I promise.” You can't let Dacre think he's doing something wrong. So you take a deep breath and turn your body towards him, folding one leg under you. “It's just that...” Being honest was never so hard. “Any girl would be nervous about kissing you. That's it.” Running a hand through your hair, you look down. “I know it's our job and everything but...”

“Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one who's anxious about it.” Dacre sounds different, almost as if he didn't really want you to hear him.

Meeting his eyes again, an eyebrow raised, you try to understand what he means. “But you had kissing scenes before, why would you be anxious?”

He's about to answer when the guys start coming in, laughing and joking around. “(Y/N). We were looking for you.” Millie says, settling down on the roll before you. “But when I noticed Dacre was nowhere to be found too I figured out you'd both be here.” She winks before turning around, facing away from you.

As if you needed another reason to be as red as a tomato.

“An hour then,” Dacre says, leaning closer to your ear.

• • •

As soon as you get to the hotel, in your room, you start overthinking. Why are you overthinking? You knew there would be a kissing scene when you first got the script, and yet, you accepted the role. Why is it driving you insane now?

Trying to calm yourself down, you take a shower, wash your hair, and tries to keep your mind on anything else than Stranger Things right now. Once you're done, you decide to put something to watch, something that will need your attention. So you pick Black Mirror, a show long abandoned, that you just remembered how good it is. But, despite the very interesting episode, you're checking your phone every now and then, counting down the minutes until the hour has passed. Bouncing your leg up and down, you look at the TV without paying much attention. When you're pissed at yourself, you decide to watch the episode from the beginning again. You're ten minutes into it when someone knocks.

Taking a deep breath and pausing the show, you stand up and head towards the door, nervously running a hand through your hair. Swinging the door open, you can't help but smile at Dacre. “Hi again.”

“Hi. Haven't seen you in such a long time.” He jokes as you step aside to let him come in.

“Yes, I was starting to miss you.” You regret saying that the moment the words come out, felling your cheeks going red already. Biting your lip, you guide him to the couch, where the two of you take a seat.

“Is this Black Mirror?” Dacre asks, gesturing at the TV.

“It is. I was trying to watch it.”

“I already did, it's very good.” He looks at you. “Press play.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you wonder if he really meant that. This meeting is for the scene. Isn't it? “Uhm... Shouldn't we just...”

“Let's just watch an episode. We both need a break from work.”

“Alright.” Shrugging your shoulders, you do as he says, pressing play and turning your attention to the TV.

Dacre makes few comments about the episode, and he seems amused at your confusion through it, as you try to understand what the hell is going on.

“Shit, I wasn't expecting that.” You exclaim in the end, raising an eyebrow at Dacre's giggles. “That's insane. They'll just restart her torture.”

“That right there.” He suddenly speaks, a finger pointed at your face. “Hold on to this reaction. That's why I love Black Mirror. You only get this feeling once.”

Chuckling at his face, you look down. “What now?”

“Next one. It's already starting.”

You don't complain, you just enjoy the show. It's a weird feeling to have Dacre here, but you feel... Comfortable around him. Maybe he did succeded with his plan after all. The rather brief time you had talking in the van was enough to get to know him a little bit and get used to his presence. To start missing him. Two episodes later you decide to order room service. But not a proper dinner. You both agree on fries, chicken wings, and onion rings. Not healthy at all, but Dacre doesn't seem to be worried about it.

“You shouldn't be eating this.” You tease him, the two of you casually seated on the floor, the food scattered on the coffee table. “Billy still has to show off those perfect six-pack abs.”

“You too, sweetheart.” He snaps back, and you giggle at the nickname. “We should hit the gym tomorrow then. Since we only have to show up in the afternoon and you're already feeling guilty for eating all this junk food.”

“I don't feel guilty. It's not my fault all the best foods aren't healthy.” Winking at him, you lean forward to get one of his fries since yours are long gone. “Hope you don't mind.” Dacre gives you a look, biting back a smile, but doesn't say anything. “Gym tomorrow then. If nobody invites me somewhere better.”

“If they do, you'll just tell them you already have a date.”

His choice of words makes you giggle, shaking your head slightly to brush off any ideas. “What are we shooting tomorrow?” You decide to ask, just to change the subject.

“Billy and Amy will have a fight and I'll have to throw you over my shoulder.”

Oh. That scene. “Well, I'm ticklish, so be careful.” You're not sure how you feel about that scene. It's not as bad as the kiss, but there will be a lot of touching and eye contact, and all that stuff that brings you to the verge of breaking character a hundred times.

“I will let you find out for yourself if it was a good idea to tell me that.” There's a threat in his tone, and you bite your lip.

“I'm not scared of you, Mr. Montgomery.” Taking a sip from your soda, you stand up. “You should be scared of me. I suffocate people with my feelings, I might want to suffocate you.” The joke doesn't sound as funny as you intended. It's more like dark humor to you, and you just hope he'll laugh, but he doesn't. Dacre just stays there, his head slightly raised so he can look at you from he's seated position.

“I'm not scared of feelings.”

“Yeah, I know.” Taking a deep breath, you notice you just ruined the mood. Dacre knows a little about your father now, about the whole argument before he disappeared and how it changed you. How it shaped you into not sharing what's inside your heart. You don't know exactly why, but with Dacre, things just come out. “Sorry, it's just... What I normally tell people.”

“And you expect this to scare them away?”

“I don't know. I honestly don't know.” Settling down on the couch, you curse yourself for turning such a pleasing evening into whatever this is now. “Sorry if I killed the mood.”

“You didn't.” Dacre moves to the couch too, his blue eyes locked on yours. “You know you can tell anything, right? It won't scare or suffocate me. I want to listen.”

You wonder if he knows how he makes you feel when he talks like that. Low, deep voice sending chills down your spine. Dacre makes you feel comfortable in a way nobody else did, and it almost impels you to talk. To open your heart.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Have you ever been in love?” The question gets you off guard, and you furrow your eyebrows, trying to understand where he's going with this. “Being in love is a confusion of sentiments. Everything... Blossoms in unexpected ways. It's hard to understand, it's hard to describe, it's hard to know what to do. If you ever loved someone, you must have told him how you felt. Him or anyone else, at least for some advice.”

You stop to think a little, but the answer is obvious. “No, I haven't. I mean... I had a crush here and there, but being in love... It never happened before. What about you?”

“Never happened before,” Dacre repeats your words. “But I know how it should feel like. I bet you have an idea too.”

“Yeah... It should feel like yyour heart was just... Taken. Suddenly stolen and you don't know what to do and it feels good not knowing.” You don't know what happens, but you just say it. And you have no idea how exactly you're putting this into words. It just feels right, as stupid as it may sound. “You just wait and hope to see what happens. And you pray that whatever it is, it's good.” There's this feeling building up. Maybe it's Dacre's eyes, never leaving yours, provoking this. You just spoke as if you're living it. As you're feeling it. “I'm sorry, it probably sounds ridiculous.”

“No, it doesn't. I feel the exactly–” Dacre stops speaking suddenly, clearing his throat. “I understand you. And it's not ridiculous. On these modern days, people have become so superficial, it's hard to find someone who's not afraid of what they feel.”

“I am afraid of what I feel.” Admitting it's hard, and it hurts a little. You hate the fact that you allowed your father to get into your head that way, and how you still rather hold back your heart after so many years. Your mother does exactly the same. She never got into any relationship after that night, not for too long. But she always tells you not to follow her path.

“You don't have to be, not with me.” Dacre takes your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I promise, you can trust me. I'm so... Tired of meaningless people in my life and you, in the last five minutes shared more of your heart with me than many of my friends have in years.”

“You're the first person I've met in years who actually wanted to listen to my bullshit.” Giggling, you look down, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “These last weeks have been nice... Thanks to you. And to the others too. I made good friends.”

“So did I.” When you look at Dacre, he's smiling. It's so pure and gentle, it warms your heart. “It's a bit late now. I'll let you get some sleep so you will be well-rested to hit the gym with me tomorrow.” He stands up and you do the same.

“It will be good to have some blood flowing before you have Amy yelling at your face.” Walking him to the door, you sigh as you pull it open.

“Poor Billy.” He mumbles, stepping out and turning around to face you again. “See you tomorrow then. At eight?”

A little too soon for your taste. You were planning on waking up late since the shooting only starts after lunch, but you won't tell him that. You're more than happy to change your plans. “Eight.”

“Good night, (Y/N).” Dacre stands there for a few minutes before leaning closer and placing a kiss on your cheek. “Have good dreams.”

“You too.” Your voice is barely a whisper, and you stand at the door, watching as he leaves.

Once you're in the security of your room, the door closed behind your back, you allow yourself to smile. To let your mind race a little bit, but not too much. Maybe you're misreading the signs. Dacre is a sweetheart to everyone, always a good, trustworthy friend. And if that's what he's supposed to be to you, you'll gladly accept it.

But still, there's a little spark in your heart, one that can't help but hope. Hope that there will be something more. Something else.

As you make your way to the bed, you catch yourself feeling a different kind of nervousness towards the kissing scene.

×

@baker151910 @shinydixon @dreamin-of-dacre @hanoi15 @lickmymelanin @skykittyssuff @foccus @multific @uncookspaget @kellysimagines

[hqprotectionsquad]

Dating! For Science (Kuroo x Reader)

this is for my bestie, ate, and just wonderful person to know, io!!! i’ve gotten to know you over the past few months from the network and let me tell you, it’s probably the best decision i’ve made concerning this fandom. i know this isn’t easy, but you take all of your responsibilities with such grace and i’m always inspired by you. i don’t know anyone else who would have their nickname on the server be writeiolite (lara’s #1 fan) and that just makes me so happy. you make me so happy!! because of you, i have true friends from around the world and of different ages and i actually write!! i’m so honored to know you and i just love you so much. thank you for being you, io! i hope you have a wonderful birthday <3

summary: Kuroo’s tweaking his AI program for his senior thesis and he just needs one thing left to make this true to life: a fake girlfriend. After deliberation, you step in so that he can avoid hurting his reputation and another girl’s heart. What could really go wrong? pairing: Kuroo x F!Reader tw: cursing word count: 3010 a/n: lightly inspired by Black Mirror and the episode “White Christmas” even though that episode doesn’t really have anything to do with fake dating? i was more inspired by their ability to go into someone’s mind, thus leading to the AI aspect of this fic!

There's something about Kuroo that has always drawn you to him. Maybe it was his eyes, his height or hair. You still don’t quite know. But ever since your second year of college, your eyes never left that rooster-headed man. Lucky you; he chose the seat next to yours over the other ones in the lecture hall because he claims you had the best spot, so "sitting next to you is the next best choice."

It's been two years since then, and he won't leave you alone. He insists this is for the best because his best friend doesn't attend college near you two and you're the closest friend he has. Over everyone, Kuroo Tetsurou chose you and will continue to choose you, and you don't really understand why.

The moonbeams shoot into the room through the window. Lately, you've been needing to stay over at his apartment, just to make sure he's still alive. He's been begging the world for his artificial intelligence program to work. He wants something fresh and unpredictable to present for his senior thesis, something that his classmates would envy at and the committee would be in awe of. He'll defend his program swinging, you know that for sure. After moments of just sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him hunch over his desktop computer, the chair swishes and he turns to look at you. "(Y/N), can you proofread this for me?"

“What is it?” You stand to get a closer look and you guide the chair back to the correct rotation. Your arm hangs around his shoulders as you slot your eyes to see better. “Is this a—”

“It’s a girlfriend application.”

“Tetsu, what the hell?”

“What?” His palms face towards the ceiling as his forehead creases. “I need to make my AI as accurate as possible. How else am I going to make it realistic?”

Now, you tilt your head. “You...you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

Kuroo’s lips drag into a frown and he shuts his eyes for a few seconds as if he’s shutting off the rest of the world. “You don’t have to say it like that.”

“But Tetsu, you’re so charismatic. I thought you must have had a few girlfriends by now.” You think back to all of the times you’ve attended parties with him. He’s essentially been the life of the party and he’s always had people surrounding him while playing beer pong or just funneling drinks down his throat. How could have not had a girlfriend at this age considering his background?

“You don’t have to shove it in my face.” Kuroo drags his fingers down his eyes, nose, and lips. 

“You’ve had hookups, I’m sure?”

“Yeah, but a girl sneaking out of my bed at seven in the morning isn’t the same as having a full-on relationship.” Under his breath, he says, “I wish it was because then I’d be having hookups left and right.”

“You’re so weird.” You laugh at his comment and soon enough, he’s laughing along with you. You settle back on the edge of the bed and he follows suit.

His body weight sinks into the mattress, bringing part of you down with him. "It's one of the last parts of the project, and you know I've been working on it for a while now. I just want my program to be as real as it can get. I know it'll be flawed, but I've got to try to make it perfect as I can, you know?"

"Yeah." You mutter, trying to drown out your blaring thoughts. What you're thinking right now...it's absurd and you shouldn't have it on your mind. But if it all worked out, then maybe you'd— "Kuroo, what if I was your fake girlfriend? For maybe a month, give or take. This way, you don't scare people off and you're with someone you already know."

You can tell he's considering it, based on the way his eyes dart in many ways. "But shouldn't the point of dating be that you get to know someone new?" Kuroo's eyebrow slides up and it's hard to believe that he's never had a proper relationship before. "I know you fairly enough."

"You know me as a friend. It's different when you approach someone as a girlfriend and it's different when it's a hookup," you justify. "I don't even know your favorite color, and I'm pretty sure you don't know mine."

"Isn't it purple?"

You'll be honest, you've never really considered yourself as a "favorites" person who naturally sought out what they loved the most. You found better use of your time instead of boring through magazine quizzes to show what you liked the best. But after thinking, you shake your head. "It's red."

“Why red?” He asks and it brings you back to all of the photos you’ve seen of Kuroo in his old high school volleyball uniform. He’s shown you many and when you first saw them, you were surprised he didn’t comment on how you were biting your lip or looking back and forth to see how he’s changed. And he really hasn’t done much of changing except for growing an inch taller and his hair being somewhat neater, but he looked so confident when he was on the court. The red fabric of his uniform hugged his figure in all the right places. The photo where he’s speaking to all of his teammates—would it be wrong to say you swooned? 

It’s his color. Even now, if he searches through his drawers and checks his hangers, his current wardrobe will have splatters of red all over. Maybe red wasn’t really anything to you until you met him. Because it is his, it is now yours.

“Because it’s a passionate color. It’s love, anger, pain; it’s everything.” For a moment, you forget why you’re here and you have this stupid grin on your face, and then you remember and reality pulls you back. “I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t want this to be the reason why we end up falling apart, because you’re a really great friend to me and I love our friendship—” He’s speaking at a pace of a million miles a minute and you’re lucky you can even hear the words he’s saying.

You nod your head once. “I’m sure.”

While you don’t start off anything that day because Kuroo said he wanted to plan everything out before you begin, you also take that day to just be friends and bask in the current relationship you have with one another. Everything’s going to change from this point on, and you know it and he knows it.

You’ve got to admit it; the next time you meet, you’re scared of what’s to come. How do you greet him? How will he take all of his emotions and collate it into data for his prototype? Don’t you feel like you’re being used?

But you volunteered for this. You told him he should date — fake date — someone he already knows. You just wanted that person to be you. Seeing him with someone else would just be twisting a knife into your side. At least you get to control your feelings in this situation.

“(Y/N), it’s good to see you,” Kuroo greets you as you find him in the restaurant you were meeting in. He stands to hug you and you’ll admit, he’s actually trying to form a meaningful relationship, of some sort at least.

“Thanks for buying me dinner, boyfriend,” you wink as you say the last word. He even pushes in your chair when you go to sit. Kuroo settles across from you. He mentions something about already ordering for the two of you but you can’t really focus because he’s wearing an outfit you’ve never seen before. Yeah, those are jeans and a t-shirt, but his winter coat hugs his sides in a way you’d never expect. Your hope is that he actually dressed up for you.

After a waiter comes by your table to place your plates of noodles, Kuroo unloads his information for the AI prototype and he’s not afraid to release it all at once.

“So I have these guidelines I typed up for you,” he hands over this folder. It’s incredibly neat, as you expected of him, but there has to be over ten pages in here. Guessing by the first page, none of the papers will have blank space. “It’s just outlining my hypothesis, my expectations, all of that. You might not have to read it all because it's mostly for my records, but I highlighted the things that I think would be most helpful."

You wipe your hands with the napkin from the table and sift through the materials. "Tetsu, you highlighted mostly the whole thing," you mutter. Taking a glance at the expectations page, you raise your eyebrows. "You said that you expect to not fall in love with me?"

Kuroo bites his lip. "It's more like if I write that down, then it has a better chance of coming true. You'll only need to date me for as long as I need to collect experiences and data. I don't want to let you go as a friend."

You don't bother to respond because you've moved on to the rest of the page. "Wait, you want us to consummate our relationship?" You say this almost too loudly, and Kuroo taps your hand repeatedly to tell you to lower your voice. You press your palm to your lips and after seeing nobody is looking in your direction, your hand returns to the table. “Are you being serious here, Kuroo?”

Kuroo sighs. "I was just thinking that sex would also help in gaining experience."

“You’ve had hookups before.”

“Well, isn’t sex different if you have it with someone you’re dating?” Kuroo can’t quite meet your eyes when he says this.

“So what, we’re essentially friends with benefits now?” You bite back your silly smile and wait for his reaction.

His mouth opens and closes. Finally, he says, “I don’t want to say yes, but basically.” After a beat, his words rush out, “You’re still my girlfriend. That’s established. Girlfriend with many rules and such. Fake girlfriend.” He emphasizes on the word fake, and suddenly, it becomes your least-favorite f-word.

Still, you smile. “Fake girlfriend it is.”

You’re thrown into everything pretty quickly. He introduces hand-holding, and soon after, kisses. He’ll come pick you up after your classes for dates. “For science,” he says all the time. You really can’t believe he’s not your real boyfriend because he’s such a great kisser and after this all ends, his lips will no longer belong to you. Your heart says you should, but knowing he literally writes down his observations after you do anything romance related, your brain says absolutely not.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve began “dating” Kuroo Tetsurou. He blames the duration of time on the project, and now, this contracted relationship has an "indefinite" completion, says Kuroo. Through all of the dates, cuddling, and etcetra, he’s probably the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. That’s not saying too much, but whoever you date next will not be able to match up with Kuroo. There are definitely times when you forget that this is all for his artificial intelligence thesis because it all feels so natural, especially when you hold his hand while walking down the street, and when you catch him smiling down at you just for a few seconds. He’s not perfect and you hate it when he talks with food in his mouth, but everything else is pretty good.

Or at least you thought.

“(Y/N),” he calls out when you’re at his apartment on a Saturday afternoon. Nowadays, you’re at Kuroo’s place. You have study sessions with him, eat dinners, and close off nights with his arm around you when you watch a movie. He’s seen almost all the parts of you and you don’t even mind. He molds a spot for himself in your heart and he doesn’t even know it. All he knows is that you’re the fake girlfriend for his project, and maybe a trial girlfriend before he truly finds the one he loves.

You’re digging into the refrigerator, scanning the shelves and drawers to find a perfect movie snack. Would chocolates and gummy worms go well together? Or maybe fruit for a change...

“(Y/N), come here,” Kuroo reiterates as he’s relaxing on the couch in the other part of the apartment. After you find your snacks — you give into the dark chocolate to pair with the salty popcorn — you make it over to the living room, settling the candy on the coffee table.

“What’s up, babe?” Pet names flow out easy like the water in a river and you don’t know when it started, but it turns out Kuroo has taken a particular liking to this one. You settle in close, tucking yourself into his side with his arm still resting on the top of the couch.

“I was thinking about the AI thing,” Right, because this isn’t supposed to be real. “I think sex is the next thing we have to accomplish and I think that’s essentially all I need for the project.”

You have to blink a few times, just to make sure those were the words that came out of his mouth. You shift your body to face him and you’re no longer pushed to his side. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Kuroo shrugs with his lips pressed together. There’s a chill that rushes through your body. You should have stuck to the contract because you know Kuroo did. You know that he did not stray from it for a second, despite all of the hugs and kisses you’ve shared. You knew this was coming, yet you still don't want to see it in front of your face. The two of you live in this cloud of smoke that this project has forged, and Kuroo will be fanning it away soon.

You don't know what to say anymore. On one hand, it would be simple to ignore your sense of direction and throw away every platonic feeling you have for Kuroo, just to try and work out a relationship without strings. On the other hand, your actions directly affect Kuroo and you'd feel horrible if you messed up his project, whether if it was because you abandoned ship or acted on your feelings and your relationship turned sour.

Any way you think of it, nothing comes out right.

“(Y/N), come on, talk to me.” He pats the hand that rests in your lap, but still, your head won’t get out of this fog. Is this what it’s been this whole time? You should have paid more attention to yourself, to see the exact point where you let yourself go and live in this cloud of smoke.

“I don’t know what to say.” You don’t look at him. “Is it wrong to say that I don’t want to do it? That I feel used?”

“You said this was like friends with benefits when we first began. You saw and read everything in the folder I gave you. This isn’t supposed to be real, we were supposed to be together for this project.” Kuroo sighs. “For God’s sake, (Y/N). You offered. You literally offered, and you did not have to do this.”

If you felt like crying before, well, now you’re really crying. You’re trying to have some sort of semblance of a composure, but with you wiping your eyes with the back of your hands every few seconds, it’s hard to know what exactly you’re feeling.

“(Y/N)...” Kuroo longs to reach for you, but you shift farther from him on the couch, making creases in it. You’re sure he feels like the bad guy now, but this is nothing but your fault, and you’d like to own up to it, if only you’d stop fucking crying. “(Y/N), come here.”

When you finally look up at Kuroo through your oceans of tears, you can’t tell if it’s your currently impaired eyesight or if he’s also shedding a few tears.

“Look, I like you a lot, and I like you romantically. I won’t lie about that. I have for a long time, and when you said you’d be my fake girlfriend, I was scared. I’m not the best at knowing lots of things that aren’t academic, but I know for sure that these things never turn out right.” Kuroo takes your hands when you inch toward him. He rubs the back of your hands, the pads of his fingers sopping up your fallen teardrops. The man here is unfolding the hardened layers he used to have, revealing his softer insides. “Fuck, maybe I thought,” Kuroo stops to stand and pace back and forth in the room you’re in. “Maybe I thought if I threw myself into my work and take everything logistically and treat it like a project with no feelings, then it could all be justified in my head.”

You don’t know what else to think, so you just do.

You mute his next words with your lips and when you release, you’re sure you look like a mess with the tear stains along your face, but he tells you you’re beautiful anyway.

“Be my girlfriend. My real girlfriend. Nothing for the project, though I’m pretty sure I had enough data from the point of two weeks in.” There’s Kuroo’s cheeky self, the one you’ve known and been longing for.

“You’re so stupid.” You roll your eyes. “God, my boyfriend is so stupid.”

He lifts you into a bridal carry, the crook of his elbow caressing the back of your knees. “Do I still look stupid?” But he doesn’t let you answer his question. His lips are on yours. Your hands press against his cheeks and his hair brushes against your face.

“I like you a lot, stupid.”

“And I like you a lot too.”

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[chuchiotaku]

Ok, first of all

HOW DARE YOU MAKING ME THINK I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL JANUARY FOR THE NEW CHAPTER!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEART ATTACK I HAD THIS MORNING WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE!?!?

Ok, now that, ehm... I'm calmed down, let me gush on your art piece once again.

I loved everything. I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. How many things not said, how many plans that will never see the light, how many... apologies, never to be make...

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him, but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

But moving on from depressing topics, I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry...

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you.

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend) and I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

First off, anon, happy New Year! 🎉🎉🎉

Ahaha, sorry about the mini-heart attack.  I was aiming to post chapters 14 and 15 relatively close together because they’re initially planned to be one chapter but I hit some snags so yeah, chapter 15 got delayed.  But at least it’s up now, right?  :)

[Warning: Long response ahead. ]

I said last time that I wanted some shocking dose of angst, but I didn't knew how heart clenching would have been seeing Ron saying goodbye to... his friends, again, and for the last time. 

That part at the mirror was very relatable, I think.  There are things we will always want, but deep down, we know they can never be.  In order for Ron to move forward, he had to acknowledge that and let go, something he learned he had to do after that Owlery scene with Harry.  

Not that he entirely has, mind you.  But it’s a good step forward.

I'm happy that the mirror made him see (and hear) what his loved one truly thought of him

It’s a comforting interpretation, but I feel the need to remind my readers that the Mirror of Erised shows only the deepest desires of its viewer. The scene where the new life versions of Ron’s loved ones take over the older ones, telling Ron that they accept and love him, is Ron’s true deepest desire now that he time travelled. Not that it is what’s real.  That’s why Ron broke down, because he knows deep down it’s just a fantasy.  Weell, we know that’s not entirely true, but to him it is.  

(The Deluminator souvenir from Death and its visions, on the other hand...)

but I'm still bitter for the fact that he had to DIE before he actually got some vocal recognition.

You know what they say: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  :shrugs: Honestly, Ron is such a taken-for-granted character both in the books and in the fandom, it’s so frustrating...

Anyway, getting off the angst train!

I loved seeing the sibling so tight with each other and Harry! I felt almost as if you anticipated Harry's second year summer, and now they get to see Sirius too? 

I wanted to show the tight knit Weasley dynamic JK claims they have but never really showed because we are limited to Harry’s narrative (which is understandable).  And as what I have planned for second year summer: safe to say, it will start off like what happened in the books before it veers off canon course.  Because Sirius and Remus are there, and Ron knows it. :)

Original Harry would be terribly proud of his Ron and terribly jealous of that little Harry... 

But of course!  I’d like to think that Ron is one of the, if not THE, characters in his age group that Harry holds such high regard for.  

And who’s to say jealous Harry won’t make an appearance? When Ron’s making more friends outside the Gryffindor house, and a certain someone may get close enough to threaten the best friend position?  😉😉😉

I really liked Pettigrew's breakdown at the end of the process. And I loved (and hated too, of course) his threats: making 'regret to be born' the same guy that fought and gained the upper hand on Bellatrix? Twice!? Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel better... 

Pettigrew doesn’t know who he’s messing with, but Ron too is underestimating the rat a little too much.  Good thing that won’t cause him any problems in the future. 😒

But if in order to hurt Ron you target one of his brothers or Ginny... well, it has never been a pleasure meet you. 

Now that would make Pettigrew wish he was never born.  Haha!

And it's also good seeing Pandora alive! Another Truespartan's Fateverse character added in the rooster, I can't wait to see her in action!

Pandora is Luna’s mother’s canon name, but yes I did get the inspiration from Fate, as well as The Red Knight.  But she won’t be around until Book 2.  Don’t worry, it will come.  I hope.  :sweatdrop:

And at least this time Albus is actually ackwnoledging Ron, wonder if he's already planning a role for him in his chessplay againts Tom. 

Of course Albus will notice a smart and wise beyond his years eleven year old who became best friends with Harry Potter, managed to take on a troll then get involved in the reveal and arrest of a mass murderer who may have something more in common with him than he originally thought (coughmirroroferisedcough).  How Ron will benefit from this attention (if he ever will) or how he’ll deal with this new complication will be part of the story’s fun.  And we’re just getting started.

I hope he will grow to love him as he'll love Harry.

I think many can already tell where I’m planning to go with Albus and Ron’s relationship.  The specifics, however, are the ones I can leave you guys guessing.  It will be good!  Hopefully! 🤞

And I know tastes are subjective but... I think the anon was just short sighted, Ron is totally the person that for his loved ones is ready to move mountains and seas (Buckbeak's trial proved it. How he started searching for past trials in his free time is proof how much is ready to invest himself if it means to help his friend)

I saw it as Guest being too fixated at what happened in the books that they didn’t take into account that the second I changed something in the fic, the butterfly effect is bound to occur.  In fact, Ron’s very presence in a world that isn’t what he left behind is already creating many ripples.  I honestly also saw it as them underestimating Ron a bit.  He’s a typical boy during most of the books: lazy with his studies because he is unmotivated.  Give him purpose and you’ll get to see him really shine, exactly like what you said about the Buckbeak thing.

It’s canon that Ron is smarter than he appears.  I mean, can a normal eleven year old remember the exact names of the laws on dragons, even if their brother is a dragon tamer?  

(It’s also another good basis on how much Ron admires Charlie that he can remember that much! Sorry, Solstice Muse turned me into a Charlie/Ron bro fluff fangirl after Ickle Ronniekins)

I don't expect that everything is going to be all fine and dandy the whole time. Peter's threats scream 'FORESHADOWING' for an ipotetical plot in the third year (way less traumatazing regarding what happened with him in Fate... brrr). 

Fate is a very heavy read, combining some of my favorite Ron-centric tropes while taking their fic to a newer, darker spin.  Truespartan has done a wonderful with it so far (I haven’t finished it yet,).  But as most of you can already tell, my story will be fart different from theirs.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be some dark moments in TBA.  And I’m so thrilled that you got the idea behind Pettigrew’s threats.  They ARE foreshadowing what is to come starting Year 3.  But what exactly?  Care to take a guess?  

Ron is just... trying to sow the best he can, and only at the reaping time we'll see what he did right or wrong.

Very true.  Although to me, it’s not a matter of whether it’s just “right or wrong”, and more of “can Ron deal with the consequences of the changes he made, and whether those consequences are worth the changes?”

Example: from a strictly moral standpoint, revealing Pettigrew and clearing Sirius’ name is the best good and what Ron should do from that thematic perspective.  However, these actions will cause some events to change from what he knew, and even cause entirely new ones (i.e. the plot of Year 3).  Is it worth the possibility of rendering Ron’s future knowledge almost useless?  Who knows? 

Keep it going! You are an increadible writer! See you next time, and happy new year!

Thank you so much for your kind words!  You guys are the reason TBA is still running even after all these years and me taking long breaks.  I hope to finish TBA Year 1 within 2021 so please be patient with me.  I’ll do my best!

(And give me some Daphne showtime damn it!!)

Oh, trust me, I have big plans for Daphne and Astoria.  Might get flak for it in the future, but for this, I’ll have to stick with my guns.  Oh dear...

💖 Happy New Year to you too, anon! And thanks for the ask. 💖

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck (pt 7)

Previous | Part one

If only you had known how bad of a day you were going to have, you would've lied and told your parents that you got a cold from last night, but of course, you didn't.

You woke up early, eager to meet Jaemin at school. You had a dream about going to a Cafe with him, so you were feeling a little positive. You got ready as usual and made time to prepare coffee and two sandwiches, planning on having lunch with him. You didn't know what it was, but Jaemin was making you so happy.

You asked your dad to drive you to school, and had a nice talk on the way. He asked about Mark, and thatvwas the only reason that you remembered his existence. You didn't mean to be mean, but he hadn't been nice to you, at all, so you just told dad that he had been busy since the day he saw him.

You arrived early, and wondered if he'd be at school already, by any chance.

“Monday, 7:20 a.m: morninnnnnnggggg!!!!!!

r u at school already 🤪

i wanted to have lunch with you

iF YOU WANT TO RITEEE”

Ten minutes happened and he didn't reply, so you just assumed that he was on his way. You walked towards your classroom and ran into Jeno, who seemed to be having a good morning, himself.

“Hey, sunshine” his smile was wide and bright, it made you smile too instantly.

“sunshine?” he nodded, and you both laughed it off “should I call you something cute, too?”

“Not if it doesn't come up natural” he asked to carry your bag and the bottle you had in your hands, you only gave him the bottle and you kept walking together “Anyway, have you talked to Jaemin? He hasn't replied to my texts since you left yesterday”

“No, i just texted him, but he hasn't even read them” a slight feeling of worry rushed through your spine, but you ignored it, thinking that you were just over thinking what happened yesterday.

“Well, i guess we'll have to wait” you arrived to your classroom and left your things in a chair. “Are you having lunch with us?”

“Sure, I'll see you later, then”

“Great, see you later, Sunshine”

Even though you were worried about Jaemin, it wasn't s bad day at all. You figured that maybe he just decided to skip the day if Mark annoyed him too much. You had a nice day with the boys again, you finally met Jisung and Chenle, and they were, indeed, babies. Jisung said that from now on you were officially the only girl allowed to be with them, and the rest of his friends laughed at how childish he was, but you thanked him and assured him that you were flattered. You couldn't remember the last time you had fun with boys like that, that had no other intention than to be friends.

In the last period, though, you got a text, and went to the restroom to read it.

“Monday, 1:46 p.m, Mark: I'll pick you up

Be on time

Please”

“Monday, 1:55 p.m: you're kidding”

“Monday, 2:06 p.m: we need to talk. i won't be late”

You were anxious. You were pissed at him, you were hurt and him acting like that, again, made you feel even worse. But knowing that you were meeting again, as so many times you had, still made you feel some type of way.

When the class was over, you rushed to his place in the parking lot, trying not to run into any of your friends or someone that would distract you. You waited for him, and know he was the one coming late. You thought that maybe it was time to get going, until you heard rhe roar of his Harley in the distance. He stopped and looked at you, not saying a word but telling you to hop in. You did, with ni helmet this time, in fact, he barely gave you enough time to sit properly and hold him, before rushing to wherever he wanted to go. You realized soon that he was taking you home. When you stopped and got off, you wanted to thank him for the ride, bug he took off his helmet and interrupted you.

“Are your parents home?” he had scars everywhere on his face, a black eye and deep dark circles. For a moment you felt guilty for being pissed.

“No. Do you wanna come in?” he nodded and you told him to park in the garage.

You sat on the dining table, and none of you dared to speak first.

“Are you hurted?” Dumb question, of course he was hurted. His lips were still bleeding when he'd smile , but he did anyway.

“A little” you couldn't look him in the eye and he noticed “Are you?”

“I didn't get beaten yesterday” you tried to laugh but you knew what he meant.

“I mean... Did I hurt your feelings?”

'yes' you wanted to scream at him, you didn't understand why, but you were so done with him for some reason 'what would you know about feelings anyway?'

“No, why would you?”

“I think i was a jerk yesterday. Not only to you, I was so selfish with my friends, I need to apologize, but I wanted to make sure you were okay” In his mind it made no sense, he knew he was wrong, but he didn't know what made him be wrong, not at all.

“Did you apologize to Jaemin already?” There it was. The sudden mention of his friend's name triggered some kind of jealous that he couldn't understand, but he couldn't stop.

“Talking that” he said in a more serious tone “What's going on between you and Jaemin?”

Well, you sure didn't know what to say. Mark was the one that you were "dating" somehow, and as much as he had been and idiot, you knew that you couldn't treat him like that. But Jaemin was so sweet, he also confessed already, which made things easier, because you didn't have to guess what he was feeling, unlike Mark. If anything, why did Mark care, anyway?

“Nothing at all, I guess” but the sensation of lying to him made you feel guilty, everything about being with him did, “well, we had fun yesterday, that's it”

He raised an eyebrow and got the feeling of something being wrong, but he wouldn't make it a bigger problem. “Sure”

The silence was overwhelming as both tried to think what to do next. He knew he wanted to grab you and kiss you, hoping you would forget about Jaemin, at least for a while. You started to make excuses for him to leave, without sounding rude at all.

“What kind of fun?” it came out of him unnoticed, and he regretted it as he was speaking.

“What?” it was unexpected, and turned on a switch made made your anger grow again, but you spoke calmly.

“I mean, do you ever say you have fun with me?” you were about to go off, you knew you were done but Mark was quick to continue “I'm- sorry, I just got... Confused? I'll just stop”

“Monday, 3:20 p.m, Na Jaemin: I'M SORRY

Okay so I don't want to make up excuses

I'm sorry, but you don't have to forgive me

Do you want to talk?

Should I leave you alone?”

You couldn't help but smile. The man in front of realized and the look on his face was intimidating again.

“Y/N” he got your attention again “please, just tell me if you feel something for... someone. I just need to know, please” his voice cracked a little and your only reaction was to hold his hand, he squeezed you back and waited for your answer, but you didn't know what it was. You were sure you had feelings for him, after all this was the main reason that whatever he did ended up hurting you, but at this point you didn't know what kind of feelings they were. You cared for him, you were thankful that he introduced you to his friends, you knew that you'd be there for him what ever he'd been through, and what ever he wanted, but was that what he wanted to hear?

“Do you?” you asked, but didn't know who you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know” you wished things never became complicated, and he did too.

“Jaemin likes you, do you know that?” he hoped you said you didn't, and that he'd scare you away from him, even knowing that his friend, who literally saved him last night, would be hurted.

“Yes” he started to let your hand go, and it didn't have to feel as dramatic as it did, but you couldn't help it “how do you know?”

“He told me. In fact-” he got visibly nervous “he told me some time ago”

It seemed like everytime you tried to excuse Mark he said something to be wrong again. You didn't want to discuss anything with him anymore, you didn't even know what ypu were thinking anymore.

“Can you tell me what happened yesterday?”

“I don't really want to talk about it” he looked tired, and you felt compassion for him “I will apologize to Jaemin, just so you know”

“It's what he deserves”

“He does” it was so awkward, it felt like during this days you grew apart so much “I'm sorry Y/N, I don't what I'm doing, I feel weird and lost, do you think he'll ever forgive me?”

“Mark... Of course he will, you are friends and he loves you”

“I don't want to make this about us again. I just wanted to clear up everything, I think it's confusing. There's nothing between us, right? You can do whatever you want, I don't want you to feel like you're tied to me... That's not me, I don't do that, you know it, right?”

You expected that. But it didn't change the fact that it hurted just so much.

“Yeah, I know” you didn't want him to notice, you knew that it wouldn't change anything “of course I know”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Of course I am”

Mark felt an urge to ask you to reconsider your relationship, he wondered if there was anything he could say to make you change your mind, but deep down, he knew that you wouldn't agree. That was the problem of not being honest from the beginning.

If he could go back in time, he would, and do whatever he could differently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N: I'm uninspired and feeling down, but i didn't want to sink in my own thoughts, I hope you can enjoy this a little bit. Did you drink some water already?

[amunraanders]

Gif : dreamerbellamy

PART TWO

"You promised you would stay away from her.She's just a fragile human.How many more Times are you going to Break your promises?No Wonder No one trusts you.Its impossible when all you do is lie" Caroline was more than pissed,she was ready to rip his head off.How many more times was he going to lie to them before finally revealing the spell that could make the dead come Back.

They tried to give Kai a Chance to prove himself but he kept going on with his usual behaviour,lying,manipulating and betraying them.Not that he could be Held accountable for it because after all it was Bonnie and Damon who left him in yet another prison world as if spending the Last 18 years in one wasn't enough.

Truth was he wanted to Change,He wanted to prove them wrong but that naggig feeling of being called a 'softie' after breaking down his Walls simply wouldn't let him do it.There was a soft Side to him He Just needed a reason to let it shine through and because that reason didn't show up in his life yet he kept pushing everyone away yet again.

"You know,I wasn't going to harm her or anything.Truth is curiosity got the better of me after I acidentally saw a picture of her and besides that If she's Just a fragile human why would each and every one of you try to hide her from like she's some Long lost treasure?Doesn't make any Sense to me.There has to be something about her that you all are hiding" by this time Kai had eaten up the whole cupcake and there was a certain look on his face and (Y\N) couldn't quite put her finger around it.Was he just trying to mess with her Friends or was he really that curious about her?She got lost in thoughts about the Stories her Friends been telling her about a certain guy named 'Kai' that killed 4 of his Brothers and Sisters so he got sent away to a Prison world.The very Prison world that Damon and Bonnie were trapped in.(Y\N) thoughts started spinning faster and faster when suddenly a loud gasp left her mouth while she realized that this Guy had to be the Same one her Friends warned her about.

"No.No.Wait a second. Is this THAT Kai?The one you two were imprisoned with for over 4 months?" She got up running to Bonnie's side hugging her tighty .

"I'm so sorry Bonnie.I tought that you and Damon left him in 1903.What is this Psychopath doing here?I mean after everything that happened I hoped that you got rid of him"

"Ouch.Those are some pretty hurtful Things so say about someone you don't know" He slowly got up walking towards her ,eyeing her up and down ,when noticed her take a few steps backwards trying hard not to look Like she was going to pass out just from being in the Same room as him.

"No need to be scared princess ,If I wanted to kill you ..you'd be dead by now and besides it'll be so much fun to watch your freinds explode with Anger while I make you mine." His smile was wider than ever as he watch her Twitch in Response to what he had Just said.In his sick mind he made it his Task to make her his ,and He wasn't going to give up,unless he succeded .

'princess' Just the Sound of it made her body quiver although she wasn't sure If it was because he was straight forward about being Psychopath who could end her Life within matter of seconds or If it was something else..But it couldn't be something else,how could she allow any feelings towards someone who she knew for 3 minutes.(Y\N) started to Shake her head wanting to make clear to everyone that she wasn't having any of it.It was absurd,Just the tought of it gave her goosebumps but at the same time she wanted to know more about him because as a Student studying Psychology she knew exactly that psycopaths were made not born. They were modled by Trauma and abuse from their past childhood.It was all they knew as children.How could they be different as adults?So it made her think 'what if I could Change him..give him a chance to prove that deep inside all he needs is Love and acceptance' (Y\N) really did consider giving him a Chance but then she remembered yet again all those horrible Things He did and she could stop but ask herself 'what if he did that to me?Would be Strong enough to Not break?After all, everything that she ever wished for was the Same as him.Someone to keep her close,someone to love her with all her flaws,the good ones and the Bad ones"

"I think you need a reality Check.Theres No way in hell that you'll get to know more about her than Just her Name" Steffen said as he firmly put one of his hands on his left shoulder making him Stop dead in this Tracks.

Meanwhile Elena and Caroline slowly made their way to Bonnie and (Y\N) both about to explode about the Statement Kai had Made.

"Can you believe this Kid?He thinks He gets to have anything He wants Just because he's this big bag heretic who almost killed his whole Family.Unbelievable.He's completly insane" Caroline almost whispered but it was still loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Yeah right, that's Not how things work . Someone should teach him a lesson.This world doesn't revolve around him.We have to get rid of him for good before He does something to (Y\N).First it was Bonnie now its her,this needs to end before it begins" Elena glanced at (Y\N) with a hint of worry in her eyes.

"Wait.What If we Just give him what he wants?Maybe he'll leave her alone If she gives in easily.There would be No excitement.I bet he sees all of this as a game,only wanting her to Anger and deflect us" Bonnie explained ,all the while galncing over to Steffen and Kai who were about to rip each others Heads Off.

"Move Steffen.Before I make you move for good" Kai said,his voice Low with a deep Vibration to it wich sent shivers down (Y\N's) spine.Was she Just imaginig it or did He Just Wink at her?It was driving her crazy.He was driving her crazy and although she didn't want to admit it the danger vibe around him slowly started to pull her in Like a Magnet.She needed to know more about him and not only that , as minutes passed by she WANTED to know more.

"Uhoh that's gonna make a pretty good Impression of who you are.I bet she's going to love it" Steffen said irronically while he roughly pushed him backwards and that was when Kai was about to lose it ,Anger overflowing his facial expression as he started to mutter some spell.

"Wait.Don't" (Y\N) exclaimed ,taking slow steps towards Kai, she felt her Heart race faster than ever and she felt Like she was going to have a Heart Attack right then an there If she didn't say what she wanted to quick enough.

"I',m willing to give you a Chance If you finally reaveal that spell to Alaric" she said nervously all the while her eyes never meeting his Not wanting to feel intimidated by his presence.

"How about a Deal with the Devil?" He asked watching her tremble in front of him .

(Part three tomorrow!:D I wanted to make this a bit longer.I Like the tension build up before ,2 Charakters fall or each other:D)

I'm sorry for the typos I'm kinda tipsy..I Love imaginig These Kind of Stories while tipsy\drunk 😂

[dukereviewsxtra]

Duke Reviews Xtra: The 10th Kingdom Part 3

Part 3 Starts At Prince Wendell's Castle, Where The Royal Council Gets A Letter From Wendell (Coughs, The Evil Queen) Saying That He's Laying Low With A Sprained Ankle And Staying At The Royal Hunting Lodge Till It Gets Better...

With Most Of The Members Happy That Wendell Will Back In Time For The Big Day, One Member Is Not...

I Don't Remember These Guys Names So For Give Me If I Don't Call Them As Such...

Anyway With This One Guy Wondering Why Wendell Hasn't Done Anything About The Troll King's Challenge And His Invasion Of Beantown, He Decides To Go To The Royal Hunting Lodge To Tell Wendell About The Troll King Himself

However, There Are Eyes In That Room As The Queen Watches From One Of Her Mirrors, Contacting The Huntsman, She Sends Him To Kill The Guy Before He Tells The Council That Wendell's Letter Is A Fake...

So, He Kills Him As He Rides Back For The Castle On His Horse...

Meanwhile, Wolf And Tony Search For Virginia, Only To Hear A Wood Chopping Noise. Running Into A Woodsman With An Axe They Ask Him If That's The Magic Axe That Can Cut Through Anything...

Telling Them Maybe, He Says That They Can Have It If They Guess His Name And However, If They Haven't Guessed It By The Time He's Done Chopping All This Wood, He Will Have Wolf's Head.,,

This Leads To The Best Reaction Ever...

(Start At 4:43, End At 4:58)

But Saying That He Knows His Name Wolf Sadly Goes Along With It, This Leads Tony To Say That His Name Is Rumplstiltskin, However, He Is Wrong Despite Saying It Again...

Tony Guesses Many Names Including Elvis And Ringo...

Go Figure...

But Eventually One Of The Talking Birds That Virginia Saved Appears And Whispers The Woodsman's Name To Tony (As It Was In The Woodsman's Hat) So He Can Say It To Save Wolf And Get The Axe So They Can Cut Virginia's Hair...

And Speaking Of Virginia, She Is Interrogated By The Huntsman Only To Be Taken To The Top Of Tree Where The Huntsman Relays His Backstory To Her, Saying That When The Queen Offered Him His Crossbow, He Killed His Own Son When He First Fired It...

Yeah, I Know It's Screwed Up, Even Virginia Thinks It's Screwed Up Believing That Everyone's Crazy Here...

(Start At 2:35, End At 2:42)

About To Kill Her, The Huntsman Stops When He Realizes He Has Buisness Elsewhere And Leaves Virginia Where She Is, Promising To Deal With Her When He Gets Back..

Visited By Another One Of The Talking Birds She Saved, It Says That They'll Help Her One Last Time But That's It, Anyway, She Tells It To Find Tony And Wolf And Tell Them Where She Is...

Doing Just That, They Can't Find The Door Which Leads To Tony Suggesting To Chop The Tree Down, But Wolf Has A Better Plan By Using Virginia's Hair To Climb Up The Tree Like Rapunzel In The Tower...

Despite Virginia Being Against This Idea, They Do It Anyway...

Eventually Reaching The Top, Wolf Gets Virginia Free Only For The Huntsman To Return From Where He Went This Leads To A Fight Between Wolf And The Huntsman With Wolf Being The Inevitable Victor...

But Despite Wanting To Kill Him To Prevent Him From Going After Them, Virginia In An Act Of Pity, Has Wolf Spare The Huntsman's Life...

With Tony Digging The Golden Wendell Up, Wolf Uses The Axe To Cut Virginia's Hair, However, He Cuts It Shorter Than She Wanted...

Meanwhile In Beantown, The Queen Contacts The Troll King To Warn Him That His Invasion Is Inviting Trouble From The Other Kingdoms, But He Simply Says That He's Not Afraid Of Them And That He's Taking His Half Of The Kingdom Now Whether She Likes It Or Not....

Back In The Forest, Virginia And The Others Find Acorn And His Wagon, Asking Him For The Mirror While Telling Him Their Story, He Sadly Tells Them That He Doesn't Have It Anymore Saying That He Swapped It For Sheep...

Contacted By The Queen, Wolf Tells Her That He's Changed And Is No Longer In Her Service, This Leads Her To Remind Him That There's A Full Moon Out Tonight, Knowing That His Blood Is Already Boiling...

Eventually Breaking The Connection With The Queen, Wolf Goes With Virginia And Tony To The Village Where The Mirror Is...

While Slowly Transforming Into What I Like To Call PMS Wolf, What Do I Mean About That? Well, It Means Wolf's Emotions Are Going To Be Completely Mixed Going From Horny In One Moment To Cranky In Another While Also Causing Pointless Fights That Eventually Lead To The Wolf In Him Taking Over...

But We're Not There Yet So Be Patient...

Wolf Tries To Convince The Others Not To Go To The Village As He Has A Bad Feeling, But Determined To Get The Mirror Back, It Leads To Pointless Arguement #1 Between Wolf And Virginia...

Eventually Making Up With Virginia As They Arrive In Town, Our Heroes Are Met By A Shepardess Named Sally Peep (Played By Lucy Punch) Who Flirts With Wolf To Which Virginia Moves Him Along With Her And Tony...

As The Little Lamb Village Competition Goes On, Virginia And The Others Talk With The Village Idiot, Who Aside From Telling Them The Story About The Magic Wishing Well He Guards And About Prince Wendell's Coronation Gift, Doesn't Really Tell Them Much...

Spending The Night In A Barn, Wolf Acts Up Again, By Asking For A Rabbit To Cuddle Only To Lead To Pointless Argument #2...

With The Owner Of The Barn Pointing Tony And Virginia In The Direction Of The Judge Who Bought The Mirror, He Basically Tells Them Finders Keepers Losers Weepers And Says If They Continue Talking About It He'll Kick Them Out Of The Village...

With Wolf Arriving, Virginia Wonders What Happened To The Rabbit Only For Wolf To Say That He Hopped Away Despite Us Knowing That He Probably Ate Him...

Flirting With Sally Peep Again, Virginia Takes Wolf Back To The Barn When He Gets Into Trouble While Tony Sticks Around To Have A Couple More Drinks...

But Eventually Leaving The Bar, Tony Ends Up At The Peep's Barn Where He Discovers That The Peep's Stole The Magic Waters Of The Wishing Well That The Village Idiot Guards And Uses It To Enhance Everything They Have...

What Do I Mean By That? I Mean, Every Sheep They Own And Every Food They Make Is Made Better When They Dump It In The Waters Of The Well...

Returning To The Barn With Virginia We Go Into Pointless Fight #3 Only For Wolf To Again Feel Guilty Afterwards As He's Contacted By The Evil Queen...

Telling Her That He's Not Going To Tell Her Anything About "Her" It Has The Evil Queen Questioning What She's Like Only For Wolf To Tell Her To Stay Away From Him As He Again Breaks The Connection As He Goes Running Off...

The Next Morning, Tony Arrives With A Sheep To Dump Down The Peep's Well In Secret As He Plans To Have Virginia Become A Contestant In The Sheep And Shepherdess Competition Despite The Fact She Knows Crap About Sheep...

But Knowing It's The Only Way To Get The Mirror Back Virginia Goes To Work On Her Costume Only To Run Into Wolf, Who Looks Like Shit After Last Night...

But Knowing He Can't Fight His Nature He Asks Virginia To Tie Him Up As Tight As Possible, Moving Into Pointless Argument #4 Which Leads To The Wolf In Wolf Starting To Take Over...

Now, If That Actually Happened That Would Be Awesome But Still Can't Argue With The Effects We Got..

Signing Up For The Sheep And Shepherdess Competition, Despite Threats From Sally Peep The Contest Starts With Each Shepherdess Performing A Sheep Shearing Song

With The First Contestant Performing Baa Baa Black Sheep And Sally Performing A Provocative Little Bo Peep Rendition While Virginia Goes To Get Her Sheep From Tony Who Has No Clue What Sheep Shearing Song To Sing, Leading Us To One Of The Funniest Scenes In This Part Of This Miniseries..,

(Start At 1:13)

Basically Throwing It Out Of The BallField, The Judge Decides To Give Both Sally Peep And Virginia First Place...

But With Both Sally And The Peep Family Not Willing To Accept A Tie, The Judge Deciding To Set Up An Obstacle Course And Whoever's Sheep Gets To The Finish Line The Quickest With The Help Of A Sheepdog Wins...

With Tony Wondering Where The Hell They're Going To Get A Sheepdog From, The Village Idiot Suggests Using The Golden Wendell Which Tony Believes Is Crazy, So Crazy That It Just Might Work!

Taking Wendell To The Peep's Magic Well In Secret, He Dumps Him In And Prince Is Alive Again!

Calling Tony An Idiot In Every Form Of The Word, Tony Fills Him In On What's Going On And He Arrives Just In Time To Help Virginia Win The Obstacle Course And The Mirror...

Being A Brat About Her Defeat, Sally Goes Out To The Field Only To Be Murdered By An Unknown Person, But Wolf At The Scene, The Townspeople Accuse Him Of The Murder...

Contacting The Troll King The Same Way She Did At The Prison, He Tells The Queen That The Next Time He Sees Her She's Dead Despite Her Warning Him That He Will Be Overrun If He Doesn't Stop His Invasion Now, But Tired Of Waiting, He Says He's Taking The Kingdom Now...

Hearing About The Troll King's Invasion And That That Guy's Horse Has Returned Riderless, The Council Decide To Accept Aid From The 1st And 9th Kingdoms Which In Turn Will Cause Wendell To Forgo Any Chance Of Ever Becoming King...

Figuring Out How To Work The Mirror, Virginia Visits Wolf To Tell Him That Her And Tony Are Going Home But When She Starts Crying She Realizes She Has To Help Him So Virginia Agrees To Become His Attorney...

No Offense But With These People, Wolf Would Have Better Luck If Matt Murdock Was His Attorney...

As The Trial Begins, Tony And Wendell Go To Search For Clues, Eventually This Leads Them Back To The Peep's Barn Where They Discover The Well Has Been Destroyed By Sally Who Was There At The Time Of The Murder...

This Leads Them To Find Critical Evidence Which They Need To Show As Soon As Possible And They Better Do It Quick As Wolf Has Just Been Found Guilty By A Hung Jury!

How Do I Know This? Well, The Jury Is Full Of Nothing But Ewes And Rams And When They Go To Pronounce Sentence They Have 2 Sides, 1 Represents Innocent And Another Represents Guilty...

And On The Guilty Side...

There's Food To Lure Them In!

So Yeah, I'd Say It's A Hung Jury To Me!...

So, Yeah It Looks Like What The Gypsy Foresaw Is About To Come True, Luckily Tony And Wendell Show Up To Point The Townspeople To The Real Killer, Who Just So Happens To Be The Matriarch Of The Peep Family, Wilf...

See, Sally Promised To Make Him Pay After Her Loss At The Shepherdess Competition, So She Destroyed The Well Which Pissed Wilf Off To The Point That He Murdered Her...

Asking For Proof, They Show Them Wilf's Coat He Wore Last Night All Covered In Sally's Blood...

As The Townspeople Lynch Wilf, Tony And Virginia Free Wolf And Head Back To The Barn Only To Discover That The Cart They Mirror In Is Gone...

But Before They Leave, They Visit The Village Idiot One Last Time Only To Give Him A Coin Which Leads Him To Discover That The Water Is Back In The Well, Granting His Wish Of Letting Him Become A Complete Idiot...

Reading Wolf's Self Help Books While Travelling On Our Heroes Are Unbeknownstly Followed By The Huntsman Who's Healing A Sprained Leg After His Fight With Wolf...

Hasn't The Evil Queen Ever Heard Of Sick Leave?

Arriving In The Most Magical Place In All Of The 9 Kingdoms, The Kissing Town Where Everyone Falls In Love....

(Singing) Yes, Love....Exciting And New...Come To Town....We're Expecting You....

The Love Town!...Cupid Is Definitely Here Somewhere...The Love Town...

All Right, Enough Of That...

Anyway, After Arriving They Find The Carriage From The Village Of The Lambs Only To Discover The Mirror Isn't There And With The Driver Not Knowing It Was Theirs He Gave It To A Guy For 5 Copper Coins...

We Get A Little Backstory On Tony As He Ends Up Finding The Mirror (Along With The Golden Remains Of The Troll King's Children) But Anyway, Turns Out The Mirror Is Going For 10 Or 15 Gold Coins...

But As Tony Goes To Get Virginia And Wolf, We Find Them At Snow White's Coffin, Which Has Become A Tourist Attraction For The Town...

All Throughout This Part And Part 2 We've Had Hints About A Possible Romance Between Wolf And Virginia And This All But Nearly Confirms That They'll Be Together By The Time This Is Over As They Nearly Kiss Only To Be Interrupted By Tony...

But When They Discover That The Mirror Has Gone Up In Price (Thanks To The Huntsman) From 10 To 15 Gold Coins To 5,000 Gold Wendells

With Our Heroes Worried That They'll Never Raise That, Part 3 Ends On That Very Cliffhanger...

To Be Continued....