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weirdkpopgirl · 1 year ago

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My First | Renjun Fic #2

Title: My First

Genre: high school au, angst

Warnings: mentions of self-harm, divorce, abusive parent. please don't read if any of these topics make you uncomfortable

Word Count: ~13k

Author's Note: I originally posted this book on wattpad, but not many people read it. So I decided to consolidate the book into a full-length fic to post here on tumblr and my nct dream book on wattpad. I wrote this story years ago, inspired by a brief crush I had in high school. I really hope you guys like this story ^ ^

P.S. there may or may not be a sequel to this 😅

*song mentioned is Sorry Heart by NCT Dream*

𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪

A small high school reunion was underway, hosted by Lee Haechan at a fried chicken restaurant he had opened some time ago. Even amidst his hectic commitments, Rejun made sure with his managers that his schedule would be done by the evening. After all, he couldn’t miss this occasion. Not when this was his chance to see her again.

He discreetly entered the restaurant, donning a mask and a black cap to maintain his anonymity until he had fully entered the premises.

Suddenly, he heard the voice of his old friend exclaim, “There he is! The global K-pop sensation!”

Renjun chuckled bashfully as a wave of applause and cheers echoed Haechan's proclamation. Taking a seat, he scanned the room, searching for a familiar face among his former classmates.

“She should be here soon,” Haechan whispered, his hand resting on Renjun’s shoulder as a glass of soju was poured for him. Renjun nodded and allowed himself to unwind for the time being.

After a few drinks, the restaurant's front doors chimed, and Renjun swiftly turned his head to witness the entrance of two individuals. And there she stood, nearly everything about her appearance was the same since high school. Her hair remained long, now adorned with a reddish hue. The melancholy that once clouded her eyes was replaced with a sparkle he never saw in her before. The smile he loved so much hadn’t changed at all. Yet, he knew that smile on her face wasn’t because of him. But it was because of the man whose gentle hand rested on her back.

Renjun couldn't deny that the sight caused a subtle ache within him, breaking his heart a little. He guessed he deserved this feeling though. Especially considering he was the one who had broken hers in the first place.

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She remembered the first time she laid eyes on him, a memory that stood apart from his initial introduction as a transfer student from Jilin, China, at the beginning of high school. She had been rather inattentive back then. This was that one moment when she truly noticed him.

In her oblivious state, she hadn't even realized they lived in the same neighborhood until that day. As was her usual routine, she got off the bus, and there he was, standing at the crosswalk.

Initially, she was about to walk straight to her house without a second thought. But her steps halted when she witnessed an elderly lady struggling with several heavy grocery bags. It was evident that the weight was taking a toll on her. Before she could rush to her assistance, the boy beat her to it.

“Halmeoni,” he spoke kindly, offering a warm smile, “Let me help you.”

He gently took the bags from the lady's hands, and the woman chuckled, tenderly pinching his cheek. She observed them strolling down the street, engaged in cheerful small talk. Their smiles were infectious, and she found herself smiling too.

As they completed their short trip across the street and exchanged farewells, he seemed to sense someone's gaze upon him. Before she could react, their eyes met. In that instant, her brain went into a mild panic, and she turned away, hurrying home without looking back.

No, it wasn't as though she had fallen head over heels for him on that day. Such emotions didn't come easily to her, it seemed. She had simply become more aware of his existence. Unfortunately, she had never mustered the courage to strike up a conversation with the boy. Despite attending the same school, she was absorbed in her studies and lacked the confidence to approach him. The art of making friends was something she had never been adept at.

She didn’t bother to say anything to him in school and she didn’t expect him to either. But for some reason, knowing that bothered her. She couldn't quite explain the feeling. After all, she didn't know him beyond that one act of kindness, even though she was sure it wasn't his first.

Little did she realize that this encounter had only marked the beginning of their story.

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She remembered the next day when he stepped into their homeroom. Their eyes met once more, a scene that could have been plucked from a cliché K-drama. For precisely three seconds, she maintained eye contact with him before her gaze dropped to her desk.

That was the day she finally recalled his name when the teacher called for attendance – Huang Renjun. If not for his introduction, she might have not realized he was Chinese. Partially because she had initially believed his last name to be Hwang. His Korean proficiency further blurred the lines, matching her own.

Each time Renjun spoke in class, she couldn't help but be impressed by his fluency. A classmate mentioned that he had taken Korean as an elective at his previous school.

Nonetheless, she didn't engage in much conversation with him in the early days of the school year, despite the fact that they shared a classroom nearly every day, with their desks not being too distant from each other. Their circles of friends were also closely-knit. Besides the few friends she had made at school, she rarely ventured to talk to anyone else.

However, she found herself unable to cease her contemplation of him. Occasionally, her gaze would stray from her textbook, and she'd spot the dark brown-haired boy a few desks ahead. A slight lean to the left allowed her to observe him diligently taking notes during the teacher's lectures.

Before Renjun, she had never really paid attention to boys. To this day, she remained uncertain about what exactly drew her to him. Perhaps it was his refined facial features, their shared artistic inclinations, or the way he displayed irritation and endearing cuteness when angered. It might have been the enchanting hums he produced while listening to songs from his playlist on their bus rides home.

Some might have labeled her an obsessive stalker, but anyone would have noticed the same subtle details if they had taken a second to observe him. Living in the same neighborhood and attending the same school merely facilitated this connection.

Renjun and she were so close, yet so far away at the same time.

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She remembered their first real encounter quite fondly. It occurred close to the second month of school when one of her friends attempted to persuade her into joining their study group.

“You should join us, (Y/n),” her friend said, trying to convince her for the nth time.

She nervously bit her lip and hesitated, “I don't know…”

Her study habits usually involved solitary efforts or the occasional study session with a single companion. The idea of meeting up with a group of unfamiliar faces didn't particularly appeal to her.

Furthermore, her friend mentioned that part of the reason for forming this study group was to create opportunities for getting closer to some of the cute and popular guys in their homeroom. She couldn't shake the feeling that they wouldn't be doing much actual studying.

“Can you at least come to one meeting?” her friend implored, holding up a single finger. “That's all I'm asking for!”

Reluctantly, she ended up agreeing because she didn’t want to disappoint her friend. After all, she knew that friend would never lead her into doing something crazy. Thus, she arrived at the cafe with the intention of sitting at the end of the table, where she could quietly focus on her studies and avoid interaction with the rest of the group as much as possible.

As much as she had hesitated about attending, she had always been an early bird when it came to events like this. Tardiness had always been one of her pet peeves. Little did she anticipate being one of the first to arrive.

To her luck, the one other person already present was him.

Her body froze as she entered the moment she saw Renjun seated at the empty table with his books spread out before him. He wore a light orange hoodie and round-shaped glasses. Her eyes shifted to the white sweatshirt she was wearing, and she habitually adjusted her own glasses, no longer self-conscious about dressing casually.

Noticing that he wasn't by himself anymore, Renjun's eyes met hers once more. It felt reminiscent of a few weeks ago, but she couldn't tell if he recognized her. Unlike the last time, she managed to resist the impulse to run away when he spoke first.

“Are you here for the study group too?” he inquired.

For some inexplicable reason, words failed to escape her lips, so she simply nodded in response.

Renjun’s smile put her at ease, “That's a relief. I was beginning to worry that I was pranked into coming here alone.”

“Oh, I see…” She awkwardly averted her gaze, focusing on her shoes, unable to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds.

He gestured to the chair beside him, “Um— you can sit here if you want.”

Taking a deep breath, she composed herself before taking a seat. She did her best to collect her thoughts and not appear foolish.

“Thank you,” she murmured as she set her bag down.

Swiftly, she retrieved her homework, diverting her attention from the boy next to her. However, as she did so, her gaze accidentally met him once again. His smile was far warmer than she had imagined it to be.

"You're Kim (Y/n), right?"

“You know me?” The surprise must have been evident on her face because Renjun regarded her as if she had asked an obvious question.

“Of course. We’re in the same class, and I've seen you in my neighborhood a few times,” he explained. “How would I not know you?”

It dawned on her that she wasn't the only one who had noticed those coincidences that connected them. He had been aware of her existence all along. There was no reason for her to have felt invisible. Why had she entertained such thoughts before?

“Oh, right,” her eyes dropped to her homework in embarrassment.

Renjun chuckled and tapped his pencil on her notebook, “Did you understand the math homework?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she replied as she skimmed over the math problems they had to solve.

Math wasn't her strongest subject, but it wasn't her weakest either. The same could be said for her other classes. She excelled in any class related to the fine arts.

“I'm not sure when the others are going to get here,” Renjun remarked, “So do you want to work on this and check our answers together?”

“Oh— sure,” she said, picking up her pencil, relieved to finally engage in productive work. She had been worried that attending this gathering would be a waste of study time.

However, she and Renjun were both diligent students, sharing the same goal of completing their work as efficiently as possible.

Working together in a tranquil atmosphere, she started to relax. But, eventually, their friends began to arrive.

“Oh, you guys are here already!” the friend who had invited her exclaimed. She sighed, a tad disappointed that everyone was here now. Still, she concealed her frustration with a smile and waved at her friend.

The study group unfolded precisely as she had expected, with little actual studying being accomplished. Most of the group members engaged in chatter and jokes. Renjun and she, on the other hand, remained seated at the corner of the table, quietly working on their homework and occasionally helping each other if they encountered difficulties.

After about two hours, everyone started to disperse. It was already dark outside as she stepped out. Since they were both headed in the same direction, Renjun suggested they take the bus together. He gave the excuse that it would be dangerous for her to go home alone.

With rosy cheeks, she glanced down at her shoes and allowed him to accompany her to the bus stop. His actions reinforced her initial impression of Renjun as a kindhearted person.

Upon boarding the bus, few words were exchanged. Yet, the silence between them didn't feel as awkward as it had earlier. She gazed out of the bus window, watching as cars and buildings passed by. Occasionally, she noticed him stealing glances in her direction from the corner of her eye, and she hesitantly turned around once, only for him to quickly avert his gaze. Perhaps her initial interpretation had been mere wishful thinking.

Her attention returned to the window, and she couldn't help but smile, reflecting on the subtle shade of red that colored his cheeks. It was undeniably cute.

As they disembarked from the bus, Renjun scratched his head and avoided her gaze.

"I guess I'll see you at school on Monday?"

She slowly nodded, "Yeah."

"I guess I'll get going then."

Before she could watch him leave, she suddenly called out, “Wait!”

When he turned back to look at her, she smiled bashfully, “It was nice to meet you, Huang Renjun.” In return, he offered a smile just as warm as the first time.

“Same to you, Kim (Y/n).”

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She remembered the change when she returned to school on Monday. Upon entering the classroom, Renjun warmly waved at her, and she shyly waved back before taking her seat. It felt peculiar to have someone other than Soojin greet her with such enthusiasm.

After their last class of the day, Renjun approached her desk with hesitation, inquiring whether she'd be interested in studying together more often. He mentioned that they got along well and he felt more comfortable studying with her rather than with the group from the previous day. The fact that Huang Renjun, whom she had never interacted with before, was extending this invitation felt unfamiliar.

“There's a library near the school where we can go,” he mumbled nervously, his confidence waning with each word.

In retrospect, she realized she should have declined at that moment, perhaps questioning why he wanted to spend time with her of all people. Turning him down then might have shielded her from the tangled web she was about to weave.

However, she couldn't resist a shy smile and accepted his invitation. Her rationale was that she preferred studying with one person over a large group, but also because she saw an opportunity to get to know the intriguing boy who had captured her curiosity.

Her hopes were met, as they began meeting at the library once a week to do homework or prepare for exams. Once a week quickly escalated to twice a week, and soon, they were seeing each other nearly every weekend.

Through those encounters, she learned quite a bit about Renjun, and she believed he was also getting to know her, to some extent. It would be a while before he truly understood her.

“Hey (Y/n),” he said one day, his tone laced with concern. “You're not usually this quiet. Are you okay?”

Lifting her head from her laptop, she met his worried expression, the first time she noticed how his chocolate brown eyes sparkled when the light hit just right. His soft gaze made her want to answer honestly, but she had grown accustomed to concealing her true feelings, even from herself. So, she responded with the same excuse she used whenever her friend posed that question.

“Oh, I'm... I'm just tired, that's all! I'm fine.”

He nodded and returned to his work without further inquiry, though she could sense his desire to probe deeper. Several such instances occurred between them, but she always held back, no matter how much she longed to reveal her true thoughts.

At times, she found herself wishing they hadn't crossed paths from the beginning.

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She remembered returning home each day, where her school life came to a pause and her personal life resumed. Upon entering through the front door, she was met by a towering stack of boxes and several others that crowded one end of the sofa. To any guest, it would appear as though they were in the middle of moving. However, they weren't. At least not at the time.

Ironically, despite her typically organized and minimalist lifestyle, she was no longer fazed by the clutter. Kicking off her well-worn sneakers and placing them on the shoe tray, she hung up her jacket and felt a wave of relief as she discarded her bag.

She picked up her bag once more, intending to carry it upstairs to her room. Just as she reached the top of the stairs, a voice interrupted her.

“Kim (Y/n). You don't even say hi to your mother?”

She held back from scoffing as her mother walked past her. Shaking her head, she continued to ignore her, as was her usual practice, and pushed open the door to her room. Her bag fell to the floor in the corner by her desk.

There was nothing particularly noteworthy about her room. She owned only the essentials: a bed, a dresser, an alarm clock, and a desk. However, it was the only place where the real her was revealed, not the persona she presented to the world, nor the facade of strength she wore despite being the weakest person she knew.

Taking a seat in front of her desk on the swivel chair, she sighed. Slowly, her hand reached for her sleeve and began rolling it up, revealing scars that had yet to fully heal. Ugly slashes of red and pink extended from her upper arm and stopped halfway at her forearm.

Laughing to herself, she clenched her fists. These scars served as a reminder of her brokenness.

Even someone like Huang Renjun couldn't rescue her from herself.

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She remembered the day after school when she was listening to music while waiting for the bus. As she scrolled through her saved albums, a message notification unexpectedly appeared.

Mom: (Y/n), I've started applying for job opportunities, but I'll also be receiving financial support from your father before leaving him. If you move in with me, you can have your own room and everything

After reading the message once, she took a deep breath and swiped it away. Gently inserting her earbuds into her ears, she turned up the volume on her phone, allowing the current song to engulf her ears, if only for a few minutes, to temporarily forget everything. However, her solitude was soon disrupted by someone taking a seat next to her at the bus stop. She immediately recognized him as Renjun.

“What are you listening to?” he asked.

She removed one earbud and handed it to him, inviting him to listen along with her. He smiled and plugged the earbud into his left ear.

“Oh, I know this song.” His eyes lit up as he began to sing along. The current track playing was “Don’t Go” by EXO.

While he sang, she stared at him in a daze. “I didn't know you could sing,” she mumbled when the song ended.

Blushing, he cast his eyes downward. “I used to dream of becoming a singer like Rain or someone.”

“Do you not want to be a singer anymore?”

With some hesitation, he responded, “Entering the entertainment field is risky. The chances of someone like me getting in and achieving success are quite low.”

Before she could offer a proper reply, the bus arrived, momentarily interrupting their conversation. As they took their seats, Renjun began recommending songs and other artists she should explore. Nevertheless, her thoughts kept returning to what he had said earlier. She understood why he held those reservations. Someone as cautious as herself couldn't disagree.

That summer, she and Renjun spent a lot of time together. There were no formal plans or scheduled meetups; their interactions occurred naturally. If she was in one place, he would show up, and vice versa. In their moments alone, he would sing a few songs when she asked.

Unbeknownst to her, she found herself captivated by his voice. It was so clear and pleasant to the ear. She struggled to comprehend why he had abandoned his dream of becoming a singer, as it was evident that singing brought him immense joy.

“Your voice is so beautiful,” she mustered the courage to tell him one day. “I think if you debuted as a k-pop idol, you'd definitely make it.”

He looked up and smiled at her. “Thank you for saying that. But I believe it's wiser for me to attend university and secure a well-paying job.”

“You want to be just like everyone else?" she asked, wondering in the back of her mind if her question sounded too critical.

Renjun sighed, “It's a naive dream that's long behind me now. It doesn't matter anymore.”

Her lips formed a frown at his words, but she refrained from further comment. At the time, he seemed resolute in his choices. She had even thought to herself that perhaps it was for the best. If he had become a famous singer, he might have forgotten all about her.

Little did she know then how their lives would ultimately unfold, marked by contradictions.

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She remembered the last weekend before school was set to begin again. It was the first time she had been invited to his house, as his parents were away on a short trip to China, and he sought company. The idea of being alone with him at his place was intimidating, so she was relieved to find that he had also invited another friend to join them.

“Ugh, thank goodness you're here,” Renjun sighed in relief as he opened the door for her. “Haechan and I were arguing over which movie to watch.”

Trying to stifle a smile, she rolled her eyes as she closed her umbrella and removed her wet shoes. She often found it amusing how Renjun and Haechan could switch from arguing to being the best of friends in the blink of an eye.

“(Y/n), back me up here!” Haechan implored when he saw her enter the room. “On a rainy day like this, we have to watch a horror movie.”

She had known Lee Haechan since kindergarten, and even then, he was quite popular among the kids due to his outgoing personality. However, she hadn't interacted much with him until Renjun befriended her. Haechan started tagging along when they hung out, not wanting to be left out.

Despite Haechan's love for provoking Renjun, he was much kinder to her. He would often try to get her to defend him when he got Renjun angry. Naturally, the three of them ended up spending more time together than with their regular friend group.

“It's my house!” Renjun complained. “And I don't want to watch a horror movie.”

Haechan flashed a teasing glint in his eyes. “Oh. You're probably too scared to watch one.”

“I never said that I was scared,” Renjun turned to her. “Let’s just have (Y/n) choose the movie.”

Her cheeks warmed from the sudden attention. Their arguments typically ended with her being the one to make the final decision. So, she suggested a compromise: they could watch one horror movie and one of Renjun's choices. The boys looked at each other and had a moment of realization.

She had to admit it was quite amusing to watch Renjun and Haechan scream at the scary parts and laugh in embarrassment during the second movie. The two of them got into a spat when Haechan spilled popcorn on Renjun, leading to more bickering that she had to mediate. Sometimes she wondered if they were really in high school.

By the time they finished both movies, they noticed the storm hadn't shown any signs of letting up. Renjun suggested that they sleep over for the night, deeming it too risky to venture out in the rain.

Haechan eventually dozed off, leaving Renjun and her as the only ones still awake. They sat on the floor in front of the sofa, contemplating what to do. After a few awkward silences, Renjun cleared his throat.

“Do you want to see some of my old pictures?” she nodded eagerly in response.

He got up and retrieved a light brown photo album, which took her by surprise as she hadn't expected him to have so many pictures. They sat closer together, and he began to show her the photos.

“These are my parents,” Renjun gestured to the image in the top left corner. “And that's my grandfather over there.”

She beamed when she noticed a school photo of a younger Renjun on the next page. Glancing up at him, she commented, “I didn't know you had a snaggletooth.”

“Oh, yeah, I did,” Renjun shyly rubbed the back of his neck.

He pointed to his current smile, showing her his perfectly straight teeth. “But I have lingual braces now, so it's not there anymore.”

“But why? You looked so cute!" she said, saving herself from admitting she found him cute no matter what.

He sighed, “Only you would say that. If Haechan saw this, I wouldn't hear the end of it.”

They continued to browse through the photos, and she paused at one page, her thumb resting on a polaroid at the bottom right. A younger Renjun sat on a bench, with a girl beside him.

"Who is this?" she asked in a softer tone, without realizing it.

Renjun gazed at the photograph with a hint of hesitation. Without uttering a word, she could tell that a whirlwind of emotions and memories had unintentionally resurfaced.

“She was my first love back in my hometown,” Renjun sighed. “Our parents were good friends, so we knew each other from a young age.”

“We only dated for a year. But back then, I used to think nothing could ever separate us.” He wore a nostalgic smile that quickly faded. Evidently, his youthful hopes hadn't materialized as he had wished.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” she asked cautiously. Renjun paused and briefly looked at her.

“My dad got a new job here in Seoul, so we moved in the middle of tenth grade,” he explained. “I promised her... I promised her that we could still be together, that we could make it work.”

She could see the regret and sorrow pooling in his eyes. “But the last time we talked, she told me she couldn't handle a long-distance relationship. So she broke up with me.”

That final sentence felt both empty and painful. She couldn't fathom how much he must have suffered. Neither of them spoke for a while, until she mustered the courage to ask how he coped with it all.

“To be honest, it was tough in the beginning,” Renjun admitted. “But recently, I haven't been thinking about her as much.”

She shouldn't have allowed herself to feel hope upon hearing those words. “Have you moved on since then?”

“It still hurts from time to time,” he spoke honestly. “I cared about her a lot.”

“That's understandable,” she whispered. “Do you think you'll ever get over her?”

She tried to read his eyes when he looked back at her, but it was impossible. Instead, he shrugged. “I want to, but I'm not sure if I can.”

From that moment on, she should have given up, knowing that she never had a chance to begin with.

Maybe then, she could have prevented all the heartbreak she had set herself up for.

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She remembered that one morning when she was getting ready for school. As she went to leave her things near the door, she heard her mother's footsteps emerging from the kitchen. Her mother's hair was disheveled, and she had gained weight from all the delivery food she had been eating. She couldn't remember the last time her mother had cooked.

“(Y/n),” her mother reached for her, but she instinctively backed away. The desperation on her mother's face quickly shifted to irritation.

“I'm your mother, I gave birth to you. Is this how you treat me?”

“Eomma—”

But her mother continued, “How awful it is that you've turned out to be just like your abusive father. I can't believe he's brainwashed you.”

Anyone else listening might have thought she was a madwoman. Her mother had become a stranger to her.

“Appa has not abused you. No one is abusing you,” she tried to maintain her patience. “Eomma, you need help. You're not—”

“SHUT UP!” Her mother screamed, causing her to flinch. “You don't know what you're talking about. How dare you disrespect me?”

The heat of anger flushed her face. She yearned to scream back at her mother and tell her to stop, but she knew it would only add fuel to the fire. It wasn't worth it.

Before her mother walked away, she said something that she had been hearing frequently lately. “You know what? Sometimes I wish I wasn't your mother.”

Her fingers curled into fists. Her mom was always adept at being manipulative. As a teenager, she did her best to take her mother's insults maturely. But when someone you love hurls those words at you every day, it slowly chips away at you.

All she could see was red after that argument. She remembered searching for her razor blade and making multiple slashes across her arm when she found it. She didn't care about the stinging pain of the cuts or the fresh, warm blood trickling down her arm. Her thoughts were clouded with fury. She was furious at her mother for behaving like a child and at her father for allowing it to happen. She was furious at herself for not being able to do anything. Every night, she was kept awake by her mother's shouting, harassing her father for no apparent reason.

Trembling with anger, she walked to school. All the pent-up pain and bitterness were bubbling to the surface. She had tried so hard to be strong for her father and everyone else, believing she could handle everything on her own.

By the time she arrived at class that day, she could barely hold herself together. She kept her head down to conceal the evidence of her tears. She took her seat at her desk and tried to regain her composure, determined not to let anyone see the real her, the one filled with bitterness and misery.

“Morning, (Y/n),” she heard his voice calling out to her. Renjun's desk was near the front, by the window, while hers was closer to the back. However, every morning, he would come over to discuss after-school plans or homework.

She hastily wiped away any tears and looked up, forcing a smile to hide her inner turmoil. By eleventh grade, they had become closer since the previous school year. She should have known that Renjun would see right through her. It took just one look for him to sense that something was amiss.

“Something's up. What's wrong?”

Renjun glanced down at her wrist, and she almost gasped when she noticed blood seeping through her uniform sleeve. Blinded by rage, she must have unintentionally cut herself deeper this time.

“(Y/n), what—” He reached for her arm before she could stop him. He paused before gently pulling up her sleeve, revealing the fresh cuts from that morning.

Renjun opened his mouth to say something but remembered they were in a classroom setting. He looked back at her, seeing that all color had drained from her face and her lip began to quiver.

“Come on,” he prompted her, leading her out of the classroom.

“Renjun, where are you taking me?”

“To the nurse's office. Now.”

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She remembered him pulling her into the nurse's office. Despite her protests and attempts to stop walking, he paid no attention and continued. When they arrived, Renjun had her sit down on one of the treatment beds while he retrieved the first aid kit.

As he lifted the rest of her sleeve, she found herself holding her breath. She said nothing as Renjun cleaned and bandaged her wounds, her gaze dropping to her arm. What was once fair in color and smooth was now marred by hideous scars. Most of them were faded white, while some were still pink. The new red marks stood out the most.

Numerous times, Renjun tried to catch her gaze. She could tell he wanted to know what she was thinking. After applying the last bandage and closing the first aid kit, she forced herself to meet his woeful eyes.

“(Y/n)...” He began, uncertainty in his voice. “Whatever you're going through that makes you hurt yourself like this, you can tell me.”

They locked eyes for a brief moment, and she knew she was about to share everything she had been holding back. She loathed showing vulnerability in front of those she cared about. It filled her with a strong sense of self-hatred.

“I... I can't,” she practically whispered.

Renjun was stubborn and wouldn't give up. He placed his hand on hers, gently squeezing it. “You can trust me, I promise.”

She stared at him for a moment before her facade, maintained for months, crumbled. Slowly, she began to confide in Renjun. She told him about her mother's drug problem and how it had nearly bankrupted their family. She spoke of the sleepless nights listening to her mother hurl insults at her father. It was the first time she had shared the news of her parents’ decision to end their disastrous marriage. Finally, she told him about the argument with her mother that morning and the hurtful things her mother had said to her.

“How could a mother say those things to her daughter?” Her voice wavered as she continued, “When I've spent my whole life trying to...hoping for her to love me.”

She waited for Renjun to say something. But he caught her off guard when he reached over and enveloped her in a tight hug. He patted her back gently and assured her that she had every right to be upset.

“Your mom must be crazy not to see how amazing you are,” he said, using his thumb to wipe away her tears. “I'm sorry she said those things to you. You didn't deserve that.”

She sniffed and shook her head. “I don't know why there's still some part of me that expects something from her.”

"It's because you love her and want her to be healthy," Renjun responded.

She lowered her head and admitted, "I guess you're right..."

There was a brief silence between them. Renjun frowned, glancing around the room before standing up. He looked down at her with a mischievous smile.

“Let's get out of here,” he suggested, nodding toward the door.

Her torn expression shifted to a confused one. “Right now? But we have class.”

“That’s fine. We’ll just say you felt sick, and I offered to take you home.”

“So you’re suggesting we skip school?”

“I mean yeah, why not?” Renjun shrugged. “It’s not like they’re going to suspect anything bad from top students like us.”

Her eyebrows lifted in uncertainty. She never thought she would ever hear Huang Renjun suggesting skipping class. She had never in her life done such a thing.

Tired of waiting, he took her hand and pulled her up. “You should go have fun on a day like this. To clear your mind.”

She could feel her heart beating faster when he held her hand. Slightly flustered by the situation, she just nodded and followed him to sneak out of the school grounds. They got on a bus and sat in the back rows. She didn’t bother asking Renjun where they were going. Her mind was still stuck on the fact that she had practically spilled her heart out to the boy next to her. She regretted telling him so much in her emotional state. But he didn’t appear to think any less of her.

Renjun ended up taking her to a small arcade filled with game machines, prizes, and neon lights. “Haechan talks about this place a lot. It’s my first time here, though.”

She chuckled, “He’s going to kill you when he finds out you came here without him.”

“I know,” Renjun said and took her hand again. “Come on, let’s go buy some tokens.”

They played all sorts of games that day, such as racing and shooting ones. She thought she would be bad at the basketball game, but it turned out Renjun was worse than her. She laughed when he got pouty for not being able to score many baskets.

“Oh, over there!” She pointed out. “I’ve always wanted to go to a photobooth with friends.”

Renjun smiled at her sudden excitement. “Let’s go do it, then.”

The two of them went in and paid the machine to take some pictures. In a hurry before the camera started rolling, they picked out accessories for each other. She hoped Renjun didn’t notice the shade of pink on her cheeks as he set a white headband with cat ears on her head. On the other hand, she chose a pair of large daisy-themed sunglasses for him.

Renjun convinced her to try doing different poses. By the time the camera clicked for the last time, both of them were caught up in laughter. To her surprise, the photos came out well. In the last one, she saw Renjun smiling down at her, and she had her hands shaped as a heart. Anyone would have mistaken them for a couple.

She thought they would be done once they were finished with the arcade. But by the time they left, it was late afternoon. She hadn’t even realized the time went by. By then, the school day was already over. She said that they should just go back home now. Renjun looked at her with a slightly worried expression.

“Why don’t we get some ice cream first?” He pointed toward the frozen treat shop across the street. Reluctantly, she agreed and let him lead them to the place.

After getting their ice cream, they sat at one of the two-person tables outside. Subconsciously, she quietly observed him as he ate his green tea flavored ice cream. Why was her heart continuing to beat faster whenever she was around him?

“You should eat yours before it melts,” Renjun pointed out.

She was snapped out of her thoughts and glanced down at the mint-chocolate ice cream cone in her hand. Laughing nervously, she quickly took a small bite. “Oh right.”

Renjun chuckled and picked up the napkin near him. “You have some on your lips.”

Absent-mindedly, he reached over the table to wipe off the remaining cream off her mouth. Her eyes widened when she noticed how close their faces were. When Renjun saw the blush on her face, he coughed and sat back down in his seat.

Once the heat in her cheeks lessened, she took the chance to speak again. “I didn’t get the chance to thank you for today. I’m…I’m sorry about this morning.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Renjun shook his head. “I just—if you ever feel like hurting yourself again…”

He made eye contact with her when he said this, “Come to me, okay? Don’t feel like you have to carry all the burdens on your own.”

When she didn’t say anything, he placed a hand on top of hers. It was the third time he did that today. “I’ll always be here for you, (Y/n)-yah.”

How she wished that she hadn’t taken those words to heart.

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She remembered Haechan narrowing his eyes at her as they waited for Renjun at the library. He seemed as if he was suspecting her of something. She hoped Renjun would come soon to break this weird tension.

“How long are you going to stare at me like that?” She glanced up from her schoolwork.

Ignoring her question, Haechan said, “You and Renjun have been acting strange around each other.”

She laughed incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

“The way you two look at each other is different.” Haechan twirled the pencil in his hands with his fingers. “And you’ve been hanging out a lot. Without me.”

“Haechan, we’re just friends-”

“You like him, don’t you?” Instantly, she froze when he asked. The corner of Haechan’s lips curled upward into a smile.

“I’ll take your silence as a confirmation.”

“How…how did you find out?”

Haechan rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. “I’ve known you since kindergarten, Kim (Y/n). Never have I seen you look at a boy before Renjunie.”

It was true. She had no interest in boys unlike the other girls in her class at the time. She was always preoccupied with what was going on at home. Not just with boys, she had never made an effort to make many friends. Her mindset at the time was it was better to be alone, so no one could hurt her. Then Huang Renjun came along and changed everything.

She briefly scanned the library to ensure no one was paying them any mind, before leaning closer to the table. But that didn’t stop her from speaking in a hushed tone.

“You can’t tell him, okay?”

Haechan looked at her quizzically. “You’re not going to confess to him?”

“Why would I? That would be too risky.”

“What’s there to risk?” Her friend tilted his head. “You’re single, he’s single. You like him, and he probably likes you back.”

Shaking her head, “There’s no way he likes me back. I think he’s still stuck on his past relationship.”

“His first love back in China?” Haechan scoffed. “(Y/n), that was so long ago. And you’re here, right in front of him. I think you have a solid chance.”

“It’s not that easy, Haechan. Our whole friendship could be ruined, and I don’t want that to happen.”

The boy frowned at her. “So what? You’re just going to do nothing and watch him go find someone else?”

“Hey, guys! Sorry, I’m late.” A male voice ended their conversation. They looked to see Renjun waving to them and coming to their table.

“What were you guys talking about?” he asked when he sat down.

Before Haechan could answer, she spoke up before him. “We were just talking about the math test tomorrow.”

“Oh right. Let me get out my textbook so we can study.” Renjun reached down for his bag. While doing so, Haechan narrowed his eyes on her again.

He did have a point. She certainly didn’t want to see the boy she liked with someone else. But she was too much of a coward at the time. Confessing to Renjun sounded terrifying just thinking about it. She could never bring herself to do it.

Back then, she should’ve listened to her instincts.

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She remembered frowning at the empty desk in the corner of the room when she entered that morning. For once, there was no Renjun to greet her with his cute smile and wave. That was odd, she thought to herself. He was always in the classroom before her.

When she made her way to her seat, Haechan sat at the desk in front of her. His chin rested in one of his hands as he sulked.

“Our Renjunie is at home with a cold. That’s why he couldn’t come to school today.”

“He caught a cold?” He rarely got sick. But Haechan nodded in confirmation.

“Remember the other day when he forgot to bring an umbrella when it was raining?”

“Oh goodness,” she sighed, worry swirled around her head. “Maybe we should go visit him after school.”

Haechan smiled teasingly and shook his head. “Nah, I don’t want to get in the way of your lovey-dovey moments with him.”

“Lee Haechan!” She lightly pushed his shoulder as he laughed.

“You know, it’s really easy to make you blush? I can only imagine what happens when Renjunie is around.”

She swore, the boy was purposely pushing all her buttons.

Regardless of Haechan’s teasing, she still went to Renjun’s house after school. She had asked the light-haired boy one more time if he wanted to join her. But he said that he had something else to do. Whatever that was.

Anxiously, she made her way up the front steps of his house with a bag in her hand. The school day was killing her, knowing that Renjun was sick and home alone. She had never so badly for classes to be over.

His mom was there to open the door for her. Even though they had been friends for more than a year, it was her first time meeting Renjun’s mother. Immediately she recognized their similar facial features. “Hello, how can I help you?”

Almost forgetting her words, she straightened up her posture and bowed. “I’m so sorry to bother you. But is Renjun home?”

The woman’s face brightened when she said her son’s name. Clasping her hands together, she smiled at her. “You must be that girl he talks about all the time. It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

Her eyes widened when she heard this. Renjun talked about her? To his parents? Before she could muster up a good response, Mrs. Huang was already ushering her inside the house.

“I’m so glad you came,” She said. “My poor son is sick in bed. But I got called into work right now and his father already left in the morning.”

She slipped off her shoes and gave his mother what she hoped to be a reassuring smile. “You don’t have to worry Mrs. Huang. I came to make sure he was okay, so I can help watch over him for you.”

“Oh, that’s so kind of you. Thank you so much,” She squeezed her hands and tried to get a better look at her. “Truly, I’m grateful that Renjun has a friend like you. He was so sad when we first moved here. But now he’s so much happier.”

She recalled the few times when Renjun told her he felt homesick. In the beginning, he told her a lot about his hometown and his childhood there. She couldn’t imagine what it was like to move to a completely different country.

“It’s nothing, really,” She told his mother. “Your son is a great friend of mine. He…he means a lot to me.”

After hearing his mom’s words, she remembered wanting nothing more than to stay by Renjun’s side. She wanted to be there for him, just like he was to her. Even if he never knew about her feelings, she was okay with that.

Ms. Huang thanked her again before she hurriedly left for work. She told her that he was still in bed and his bedroom was on the left side down the hall.

“Renjun?” She knocked before coming into the room. The walls were painted a pale yellow, and there was a window above his desk. His room was neat and simple, like hers.

Renjun lifted his head to see that she had called his name. “(Y/n), what are you doing here?”

She grimaced when she heard him cough. “Your mom just left. I came to drop off your homework and look after you for a bit.”

“Oh…but what if you get sick?”

She smiled at his show of concern. “I should be fine. I have a strong immune system,” she insisted.

He didn’t seem to be very convinced. But he reluctantly laid back on his pillow. She set her school bag down on his desk chair.

“There are some things I have to prepare,” She said, going toward the door. “Just rest here, and I’ll be back in a bit okay?”

Renjun was too tired to protest, so he patiently waited for her to come back. It wasn’t like there was anything else he could do.

Moments later, she returned with a tray that carried a steaming hot bowl of porridge and a cup of tea. The sick boy peered up with a curious look in his eyes.

“This is some congee I made. It’s good to eat warm things when you have a cold,” she explained as she carefully placed the tray on his nightstand. Leaving the drink, she picked up the bowl to give to him.

Renjun smiled, but there was slight guilt in his eyes. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“It’s no big deal,” she said. “I made it the other day when my dad got sick. So I just reheated the leftovers that I had.”

“But still…”

Ignoring his nasally mumbles, she took the spoon and firmly put it in his hands. “You need to eat to get your strength back.”

He accepted the utensil sulkily and weakly took a bite of the food she made. She watched quietly as he ate. His face was paler than usual, and his dark hair was damp from his sickness. She hadn’t imagined a sick Renjun would be so cute. But somehow, she was surprised either way.

She stayed with Renjun the rest of the evening. After helping him take some cold medicine, they moved to the living room and watched some k-dramas on her laptop. Some laughter was exchanged at the funny parts. Occasionally, she heard sniffles at the sadder scenes in the movie. She wasn’t sure if it was Renjun’s symptoms or if he was actually crying. Either way, she pretended she didn’t hear him.

“Gosh, you're burning up,” she said when she placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature.

She stood up to get a cold wet towel to help him cool down. Sitting back down at the foot of his bed, she leaned over to gently dab the cloth onto his forehead. She could sense Renjun switching from staring at her to glancing over her shoulder. But she pretended not to notice. After a few minutes, she brought her hand down and asked if he felt any better. But he wouldn’t answer.

“Renjun?” He looked back at her and gestured for her hand. He took it and placed her hand over his chest.

“Why do you keep making me feel like this, (Y/n)?”

His words meshed into the other. But she was still able to understand what he was saying. She stared at him in surprise, unable to find an appropriate response.

Renjun pressed his other hand over his eyes in distress. “All I’ve been thinking about lately is you. I swear it’s driving me crazy.”

From hearing this, she was certain that this was just the fever talking. She didn’t want to give herself false hope.

“Renjun, you…should rest. I don’t think you know what you’re saying.” She tried to pry her hand out of his.

Instead of letting her go, she felt his grip tighten around her wrist. Before she could say anything, her body was pulled down into a position where Renjun was right beneath her. She wasn’t sure if the sudden heat she felt came from Renjun’s fever or from how flustered she was at the moment.

“Huang Renjun, what are you—” She tried to escape, but he held her in place. He brought her closer to where their faces were merely inches apart. His steady eyes marveled over her red cheeks and eventually moved down to her lips.

But before she could make another attempt to move off of him, he pulled her down so their lips could meet.

Her eyes were wide open when she processed what was happening. He had single-handedly taken her first kiss, and she wasn’t sure how to take it at the time.

Little passion was felt in the kiss. But there was so much yearning and desire. When she let go of any resistance and closed her eyes, she felt herself melting into his touch. This… is something that she wasn’t aware she had wanted. I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to be kissed by the boy she liked?

Before the things could go any further, Renjun released his hands off her neck and fell back. He had dozed off in the next second, leaving her to be baffled by the situation.

She couldn’t recall what happened after. All she could remember was waking up the next morning on Renjun’s couch with a dark blue blanket covering her. Slowly, she sat up and saw Renjun exiting a room.

“Oh, you’re awake!” He looked slightly better than he did the other day, but still a little pale. Self-consciously, she straightened her clothes and patted down her hair as he came to sit beside her.

“Wha-what time is it?” She sat up and reached for her phone to look at the clock. 10:15 am.

Renjun chuckled, “It’s a good thing it’s Saturday.”

Warily, she placed her phone back down on the table in front of them. She looked at the boy beside her for a moment, wondering how to bring up the events that occurred the night before. She must’ve fallen asleep late, overthinking everything. If Renjun kissed her, that had to mean he felt something for her, right? Or were his actions from him being delirious?

“Renjun, about yesterday…” She started.

His eyes lit up, “Oh right. I can’t thank you enough for staying and taking care of me. My mom told me to say thank you to her. She and my dad have already left for work.”

“Oh…it was nothing,” she shook her head. “But I’m talking about when you-”

Renjun leaned back on the couch and sighed, “Ugh I hadn’t been that sick in a long time. Honestly, some of the things from yesterday are hazy to me.”

Her eyes blinked in confusion. “Do…do you not remember what happened last night then?”

The boy furrowed his brows as he tried to think back. Seconds later he snapped his fingers. “Oh yeah. The ice towel you used really helped to bring my fever down. I wanted to thank you for that too.”

So he didn’t remember kissing her. Any hopes she had of Renjun might share the same feelings as she dissolved in an instant. Those optimistic feelings were replaced by perplexity and dismay.

Stupid, foolish girl. She was such an idiot to have such thoughts to begin with.

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She remembered the astounded look on Haechan’s face when she glumly told him about what happened. They had met up at a café later that afternoon.

“He what?!” The boy across from her nearly jumped out of his chair.

She shot him a nervous glare, “Haechan! Can you please just sit back down?”

“Sorry, let me get this straight.” He thankfully did as she asked. “You were taking care of Renjun, and he kissed you. But he doesn’t remember it?”

She dropped her head and nodded gloomily. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Are you sure he forgot?” Haechan asked.

“I don’t know. If he didn’t, he obviously wants to pretend it never happened,” she said, poking at the straw in her drink. Hearing herself say that only left her feeling more depressed.

Haechan sighed and gave her a look of slight concern. “(Y/n), I really think you should just tell Renjun about your feelings.”

“Haechan…”

“I’m being serious! At this point, you should just go for it,” he sat up in his seat. “What could possibly go wrong other than him saying no?”

She had sworn to herself that she would never confess to Renjun. Even if there was a small chance he might like her in return, she was too scared to risk it. He meant too much to her to lose him because of her selfishness.

“If Renjun rejects me, he’ll feel bad and have a hard time.” Her shoulders faltered. “I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable because of me.”

Haechan crossed his arms, “But that might never happen. Coming from experience, it’s better to just confess your feelings and be done with it. Things might not go the way you want. But you’ll feel better after.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she fumbled with the paper wrapping from her straw.

Haechan smirked, “Of course, I am. I’m always right.”

“Yeah, and what experience do you have?” She questioned, referring to his prior words. In response, he put a finger to his mouth as a motion for her not to comment further.

“Just trust me, okay?”

She dwelled on what Haechan said for a bit. Honestly, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could go being around Renjun without her heart exploding. Especially after they kissed. How long was she going to let herself live like this?

So for once and all, she followed Haechan’s advice and chose one day to confess.

She had to show that she wasn’t a coward and be a little braver for once. It was the most determined she had ever been about something. She was finally going to confront her feelings.

At least she thought she was.

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She remembered it was the beginning of autumn when she asked Renjun to meet her at the park one day. Aside from that, she had been trying to get out of the house more often. Things with her parents were still rocky. Being at school and spending time with friends allowed her to stop thinking about it all for a little while.

But that day was different. When she had finally decided to face her fears and just tell Renjun how she felt. She was beyond nervous, unable to keep her legs from shaking as she waited for him to arrive. She had repeated everything she was going to say numerous times the night before.

Having never confessed to a boy before, she spent the past few nights searching for tips on what she should do. There was one site that said you should dress up for these occasions. So foolishly, she spent almost an hour picking the right outfit and makeup. She hoped Renjun wouldn’t find her being too obvious.

Before she could chicken out, she saw him walking down the street to see her. He was wearing a smile. She didn’t think about it then. But his smile wasn’t bright like the normal ones he showed her. This one was filled with slight apprehension.

“Hey (Y/n),” He came to her with hands in the pockets of his jacket. “What did you want to do today?”

There was no way for her to back out anymore. “Actually Renjun, there’s something I want to tell you.”

“Oh really? I have something to tell you too,” Renjun scratched the back of his head. She was curious as to what he had to say. For a second she forgot about her plan.

They stared at each other awkwardly until Renjun cleared his throat. “You—you can go first if you want.”

“Oh okay.” Tensely, her grip on the strap of her purse tightened. She told herself that she could do this. It was Renjun, after all. Why did she make this so hard for herself?

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to meet his eyes. “You see, there’s something I’ve been hiding from you.”

Renjun looked at her with slight concern, “Hiding from me? (Y/n), you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know, I know. That’s why I’m telling you today because I don’t think I can keep it in anymore,” She said. Here goes nothing, she remembered thinking to herself.

“Renjun, I like—”

“Huang Renjun!” She was stopped by an unfamiliar female voice from behind her. As she started to process her failed attempt to confess, she watched a look of astonishment appear on Renjun’s face.

She turned to see a girl about their age with short light-brown hair, wearing a yellow sweater over a white skirt. She ran over to embrace the boy in front of her.

For a moment, Renjun seemed to be at a loss for words. Then he slowly hugged her back and a name rolled off his tongue. “Xiaomi?”

She held him closer to her. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I—I don’t understand. What are you doing here?” He pulled away. Surprise and bewilderment were still evident in his expression.

Every ounce of glee was pouring from her eyes. “I couldn’t stand us being so far apart. It took me a while, but I convinced my parents to move us here.”

“But…but how?”

“Your father talked with mine and helped him secure a job at the same company,” She replied. “I’ll be going to the same school as you too!”

(Y/n) stood there like a fool. They were speaking in Chinese. But it didn’t take an idiot to understand the situation. She was his first love. The one he told her about. She was here, she had come for him. And (Y/n) was just…there.

Renjun didn’t respond and glanced back at her. Finally, the girl turned to look at her. It turned out that she also knew how to speak Korean. But hers wasn’t nearly as good as Renjun’s.

“Is this a friend of yours?”

Suddenly snapping out of his daze, “Y-yeah. This is Kim (Y/n). (Y/n), this is Xu Xiaomi.”

Swallowing this whole new feeling of heartbreak, (Y/n) forced a smile on her face. “Renjun told me about you.”

Xiaomi beamed, “He did? How sweet.”

She looked back at Renjun and clasped her hands together. “Isn’t this great, Renjun? We can finally be together now!”

“I think I’ll get going now,” She bowed her head. She didn’t think she could stand to watch any longer.

Renjun called out to her but she pretended not to hear him. She woke up that day, barely ready for rejection. So many scenarios she had gone through and prepared what to say. But she didn’t expect that to happen.

Yet, she had no idea that there would be more pain to come.

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She remembered Xiaomi being introduced to their homeroom the next Monday. She kept exchanging glances with Renjun throughout the class. She could hear Haechan, who was a few seats behind her, making gagging noises at the couple.

She hadn’t spoken much to Renjun since that day at the park. She wasn’t sure which was worse, losing the one chance she had to confess to her crush or witnessing him be reunited with his past lover.

“Are you going to eat your tonkatsu?” Haechan pointed his chopsticks to her lunch, snapping her out of her brief daze.

He was trying to act like everything was normal. But she could tell he was holding back what he truly wanted to say. Although Renjun or Xiaomi wouldn’t have heard him anyway, since they hadn’t arrived at the cafeteria yet.

When he asked, she pushed her tray toward the boy. “Have it all.”

Her appetite had been lost over the past few days. Not only because of Renjun, she just had this mild pain in her head. Maybe her body was finally breaking from all the emotions she had been trying to hide.

Before Haechan could question her, she stood up from her seat. “I’m going to go back to the classroom for a bit. There’s an assignment I want to get ahead on.”

When she approached their classroom, she saw Renjun and Xiaomi through the window. She was near the door, but they couldn’t see her. She didn’t know why she was inclined to stay. She wasn’t there at the beginning of the conversation. But she had heard the rest of it.

“Tell me the truth, Renjun. Who is Kim (Y/n) to you?” Xiaomi asked. She was no longer smiling brightly.

Immediately (Y/n) was alerted when she heard her name. When did she become the subject?

“Xiaomi…”

She frowned at him in dissatisfaction. “I saw the way you looked at her. Do you not love me anymore?”

“What? No!” Renjun denied. He quickly grabbed Xiaomi’s hands and held them.

She wasn’t prepared to hear what he said next. “Honestly, (Y/n) is just a friend of another friend I made here, and we’ve hung out a few times. She…she means nothing to me.”

“Are you sure?”

He gently lifted her chin and kissed her reassuringly before murmuring. “Yes.”

(Y/n)'s hand reached to cover her mouth, as she started to back away. A sob climbed up her throat. But she was already running before they could hear her. She couldn’t stop thinking about how naive she had been. How stupid she was.

To ever think for even a moment, that she would ever mean something to someone.

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She remembered her dad mentioning that he wanted to move back to Busan. After she had been born out of wedlock, he moved from his hometown to be with her mother in Seoul. Now that the divorce was almost finalized, there was nothing here for him anymore.

At first, she was against the idea. She didn't want to leave her friends and school. But as she thought about it more, she started to think that maybe it was for the best. She didn't think she could ever look at Renjun the same again. Not after he said those things. Yet there was this part of her that still harbored feelings for him. It left her more devastated than anything. Was she really nothing to him?

She was so sick of it all. But before she could leave everything behind, there was something she wanted to do first.

↣ ↢

Haechan was the only person she told that she was moving. She asked him not to tell any of their other friends, especially Renjun.

Surprisingly, Haechan was a lot more understanding than she expected. But he didn't hold back his anger when she told him about what she had heard the other day.

“Damn. That son of a-”

She nearly hit him for swearing. “Lee Haechan! He's still your best friend.”

“I don't care if he is!” Haechan saw the distress in her eyes and sighed. “Okay, I'm sorry. But I still think he was an a**hole to say those things.”

Hating to admit, she kind of had to agree with him. Maybe Renjun wasn't the person she thought he was.

“Thank you, for being there when I needed it,” she said, avoiding eye contact.

The boy waved his hand dismissively, “You're lucky to have such a smart and loyal friend like me.”

Of course, he still maintained that ego of his. But then Haechan placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a sincere look.

“Hang in there, kid,” He said with a proud smile on his face. “I'm sure things will get better for you.”

“We're the same age, Haechan.”

“Shush, don't ruin the moment.”

She shook her head and laughed. Despite everything, it was still nice to know that there was still one person by her side. The past version of her would have never even imagined being friends with someone like Haechan.

But on multiple levels, life had done its best to prove her wrong.

┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦

At the end of the month, their homeroom teacher had an announcement for the class in the morning. But all Renjun could think about was the empty desk in the back center of the room. (Y/n) hadn't been at school this past week. Multiple attempts he had made to call and text her. But there was no response. It was almost as if she had disappeared all of a sudden.

“I know some of you may be wondering about your classmate that has been missing,” the teacher looked around the students. “I came to tell you that Kim Y/n is no longer a student at this school and has moved away.”

The sound of gasps and murmurs erupted among the class. Renjun shook his head, unable to believe the news. No, it couldn’t be true. Why would she leave without saying anything?

“Where did she move to?” One person asked. Renjun looked at his teacher with hope in his eyes.

But the man shook his head and stepped away from the podium. “I can't disclose that information, for her privacy's sake. That's all I have for today. Get ready for your English class.”

When the teacher left, Renjun turned to find Haechan. He didn't seem the slightest bit surprised by this news. He had to know something.

“Where is (Y/n)?” His friend only responded with a glare.

“Lee Haechan!” Renjun's fingers curled into fists, quick to resort to anger.

Haechan shook his head and brought a light purple envelope from his bag. Without looking at him, he gestured for Renjun to take it. “She asked me to give you this.”

He hesitated before adding, “She should be at the train station. But she doesn't leave until half an hour from now. That's all I'm telling you.”

The envelope crinkled in Renjun's hands. He heard Xiaomi call his name. But he was already out the door, running out of school and catching a taxi. He had to find Y/n. He didn't care about the consequences.

Nothing else was on his mind except for her.

┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦

Dear Renjun,

A part of me hopes you will never read this. But if you are, that must mean things didn’t work out the way I had planned. And the purpose of this letter has changed from what it was originally supposed to be.

I know in our day and age that letters are old-fashioned. But I still loved the idea of them. I am writing you this letter because I am not brave enough to face you in person. I haven’t been truthful to you about some things. So here I want to clarify them. I hope you don’t mind.

I don’t remember how it exactly happened. But I’ve liked you for some time now. I think it was that day when I saw you helping that lady cross the street. I guess I’m someone who is easily swayed by kindness.

However, I didn’t realize my feelings until the day you learned about my secrets. That was when I knew I couldn’t keep myself from falling anymore. When we used to study together and hang out in the summer, I was the happiest I had ever been. I should thank you for that.

You had gotten out of a serious relationship and I wasn’t looking to date. I thought I was content with just being friends.

Then on the day you were sick, we kissed. Maybe you didn’t remember. Or maybe you didn’t want to. It was probably some mistake to you. Yet for a second, I thought there was a chance you liked me too. But I was very wrong about that, wasn’t I?

I know I mean nothing to you. But to me, you meant everything. You were the first person who knew my secret and comforted me. You made me feel like I didn’t have to hurt alone anymore.

I may not be your first love, Renjun, But you were mine. And I want nothing more than happiness and success in your future. Seriously, do something that makes you happy. Not because of any standards that are put on us, or the pressure that you give yourself. I hope that you can find your dream again and to someday see you shine brighter than anyone else.

Obviously, you don’t have to listen to me. But these were the things I wanted to say to you without any more regrets.

Sincerely, Kim (Y/n)

The letter crumpled in Renjun’s shaky hands. He looked at the taxi driver with desperation. “Ahjeossi, please hurry!” He anxiously sat back in his seat.

So she did hear what he said that day. Why, why did he lie? Why had he been so foolish?

When he finally got to the train station, Renjun sprinted inside only to be crowded by the other people passing by. He tried his best to get through briskly.

“(Y/n)!” He called out as if he was insane. “Kim (Y/n)!”

He could care less about the people who gave him odd stares. His mind was focused on getting to her. He ran to find the public transport timetable. His eyes darted across the board and found the departures.

10:44 BUSAN KTX DELAY: 0 min

He was too late. She was gone, leaving him in his regrets and despair. The boy fell to his knees as tears streamed down his face.

“Please…please come back, (Y/n),” Renjun cried, “Don’t go, I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

He knew that she couldn’t hear him. Every word that came out of his mouth was futile. She could not see him right now. But if she did, she would’ve run back to embrace him and tell him not to cry.

All he could do was bang his fists on the ground, pathetically. “(Y/n), I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.”

He said this, even though she was never his and he was never hers. This pain was worse than when Xiaomi had broken up with him. He didn’t think he would ever be able to move on from it. There were so many words that he wanted to say to her. Words that he should’ve said to her before. Most importantly,

“I love you.”

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{ five years later }

Here she was again, standing before him after not seeing each other since the eleventh grade. But she wasn’t alone.

“Hey, everyone. It's been a while,” she still seemed shy, but more reassured.

That was when his eyes found the person holding her hand. He was tall, handsome with jet black hair and a face that could charm anyone. If Renjun saw him in any other setting, he would have assumed he was some playboy. But in this case, the guy was looking at Y/n with tenderness in his eyes. Anyone would be able to tell he was completely enamored with her from just one glance.

Coincidentally, she met Renjun's eyes when she introduced the person next to her. “This is Na Jaemin—my boyfriend.”

“Wah, he's so handsome!” Her friends were awed as if he wasn't standing right there.”You found yourself a good one, Y/n!”

All Renjun could do was sit back and listen to the others asking how the two met and how long they'd been dating. He thought he should feel angry or betrayed. But for some reason, he didn't feel those things.

“Renjun, you should sing something for us,” Haechan said later in the night. He gestured to the small stage near the back.

“I don't know, guys…”

“Oh come on,” one classmate begged. “Just one song?”

Eventually, Renjun gave in knowing it was the only way for them to stop asking. In the next few seconds, the singer found himself getting out of his seat and getting up on stage. He adjusted the microphone stand and connected his phone to the speaker.

Tightening his grip as the music started to play, inadvertently they made eye contact again. At just one glance, so many emotions swelled in his heart. Without her, he would've ignored his passion and moved on to live a meaningless life. But thanks to (Y/n), he was able to find his dream again and go after it.

Never would he forget how he hurt her with his foolish words. The song he was about to sing was chosen especially for her.

“Why do I get sulky so easily? Am I this pathetic because of my small heart?” He started to sing, tightly gripping onto the mic stand. “Don’t go, I know I was a bit too much. Can you forgive me for being regretful again?”

As a professional, Renjun did his best to keep his voice stable, but it wasn’t easy. This song was written for her. He didn't know if she had heard it before. But he hoped it could convey the feelings he wasn't able to before.

Kim (Y/n), who he loved. Kim (Y/n), who he had hurt and brought him so much regret.

The same heartache he was feeling earlier returned as he sang the chorus, “Tell me, why I let you down? Any chance I get I'm breaking down.”

“I know it's my fault, but why is it so hard? To tell you that I'm sorry, heart.” His gaze remained fixed on her as the lyrics gracefully flowed from his lips.

There was loud applause when Renjun finished the song. But he couldn't enjoy it. He just wanted to see her reaction. She was smiling at him with tears glistening in her eyes. That was all the approval Renjun needed.

When the event was over, he went outside in hopes to talk to her. His feet stopped moving when he found her standing under a large tree nearby. She was talking to Jaemin, who had his back toward him. She laughed at something he said.

Then a few moments later, the man took a small box out of his jacket pocket. Renjun watched as her eyes lit up in the utmost surprise. Renjun couldn't hear the conversation. But he was there when she mouthed the word “yes” and to see them warmly hug each other after.

Still, in her partner's embrace, she met Renjun's gaze once more. He knew that she was content by the way she smiled at him.

And he couldn't help but smile back. Was he envious? Of course, he was. He would do almost anything to be in that man’s place. However, nothing could be done or changed.

He was happy for her because she was happy. No words could be exchanged. But none needed to be said. Their story had ended a long time ago.

They were living in reality, not some cliché world where everyone got their happy ending.

Where having a first love didn't necessarily guarantee they would be their last. But that didn't mean finding happiness was not achievable.

77 notes · View notes

liliansun · 2 years ago

Text

(FAILED) love letters to locker #67

synopsis 💌: after finally getting the courage to confess to your crush via love letter, you’re shocked to find out that it actually didn’t end up in his locker and the one who did receive it was a little closer to home than you would’ve liked.

pairing 🫶: crush!heeseung x fem!reader x bbf!haechan

wc 💪: 10.1k

genre 📖: fluff, angst, humor, high school puppy love kinda vibe, iykyk

warnings: kissing, swearing, badly told jokes, jaem has a little temper ngl, gossiping and yk people be staring bc yk

special mentions: enha members, aespa member, le sserafim members, nct dream members

<3: as always @ethereal-engene aka ash, loml <33 got to beta-read this and it was the literal highlight of my day. also I wrote half of this over a couple days and finished the rest to day so if it’s a hot mess that’s why, love you🧎‍♀️

This was it, today was your day and you were beyond determined to make it through this day without anything messing up or stopping from you. Yes, today was the day that you planned on confessing to the prettiest boy, in your opinion, Lee Heeseung. So far, you feel pretty confident—or at least the most confident you can feel. With the letter in your hand, you linger around the lockers right before the lunch bell and pretend to listen to what your brother is saying. Jaemin was talking all nerdy to you and it was going through one ear and out the next. “Hey, listen to me when I’m talking, you’re being incredibly rude.” As he snaps his fingers at you, you swat at his hand.

“Leave me alone, I’m focusing.” He rolls his eyes, following your eyes to the boy you were so swooned for. “He’s not even that cute, if we’re comparing looks, I look better—some might even say sexy.” As he wiggles his eyebrows, you shove him aside and start to fiddle with your locker. “Ouch, that’s so rude—do I need to tell your little crush how rude you ar—OUCH!” Stomping on his foot, you give him the finger before sticking your nose into your locker. As the bell goes off, you shoo Jaemin away and put your books up. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Heeseung leaving his locker and heading down to the lunch hall. As you shut your locker, the hallway empties and you find this to be your perfect opportunity.

You try to act casual, walking across the hall and looking at the locker numbers. You’re about to slip the letter that you poured your heart into in the designated locker—that is until you hear voices coming from the end of the hall. Without paying much attention, you shove the letter in what you hope is the right locker and go on down the hallway, pretending as if you didn’t just slip a love letter in. Unbeknownst to you, the boy who was late to lunch comes flying down the hallway and accidentally bumps into you. “Shit—sorry doll face.” You didn’t get a clear look at the guy who practically ran you over, rubbing your shoulder as he ran down and disappeared into the hungry crowd of students.

You look around for your usual table where your friends are always found, skipping the line and sliding into the seat next to Yunjin. “Look who decides to join us?” Rolling your eyes, you grab half the sandwich from Chaewon’s tray and start to munch on it. “A certain someone must’ve been keeping her company.” Giselle wiggled her brows at you, leaning onto the table with her elbows propping her up. “Give her a break, she’s probably too tired to deal with you two from thinking about Heeseung all night.” Yunjin snickered, ducking down when you tried to throw your sandwich at her.

“Says the one who was stalking Chenle on his socials.” The girl beside you threw her hands over your mouth, looking over at the boy of topic to make sure he didn’t hear you. “Shh, he’s right there, unlike lover boy, he literally sits a few tables away.” You giggle into her hands, pulling them down as her face heats up in slight embarrassment. “You two are a mess, imagine simping over a man, ew.” Chaewon dramatically flipped her short hair, popping a piece of fruit into her mouth. “Aren’t you the same one who was drooling over that girl in your art class?” Giselle was more than satisfied by Chaewon’s lack of response, laughing when the other tried to steal her tray from her.

“What’s with all the giggling over there, you girls aren’t thinking of me, are you?” Jaemin stood up from his seat, smiling over at you with the most annoying grin on his face. “I can’t believe we’re related sometimes.” You mumble, avoiding his eyes in hopes he’ll leave you alone. “I can’t believe you two shared a home for nine months, you must’ve took all the right nutrients for him to come out like that.” Looking in the direction Chaewon was pointing in, you could see Jaemin and his friends sticking food in your brothers belly button and all of you were utterly disgusted. “Look y/n, I got olives for my next class!”

You were always embarrassed by your brother’s shenanigans, especially when he didn’t know how to control his volume and now half the lunch hall was looking your way. The cherry on top of it all was that Heeseung and his friends got curious about the commotion and now were looking at your table, heat rushing to your cheeks faster than you could get up from your table and try to discreetly leave the hall. Unbeknownst to you, a certain pair of eyes followed your figure from the table till you slipped between the crowd and ultimately out of his sight.

After leaving the lunch hall, you headed to your next class and lingered outside the door after stopping by your locker. You opt to wait by the door, back against the wall while looking over your notes from the previous class. In the distance, you could hear footsteps coming your way, not paying the person who was coming through any mind as you kept your nose in your book. “Hey, you’re..Na Y/n, right?” The unfamiliar voice caught your attention, looking up to see a boy who you didn’t fully recognize. You’re sure you’ve seen him around, being that he’s in your year and had been in a couple classes a couple years back, but he looks different than what you remember.

“Uh, yeah, who are you again?” The way he smiled at you made you almost feel small. “Just checking out the infamous Na twin, that’s all.” Before you could get a word in, he walked away with a grin on his face, disappearing as he turned a corner. Confused and more curious as to why he approached you, you decide that it’s best to ignore whatever that was and focus on your notes so that you’ll at least have some idea of what today’s class is about. Minutes pass by and the lunch hall starts to empty out, a crowd of students coming out into the hallways and to their lockers in batches while you await for your friends to join you at the door. When the bell finally goes off, you go inside the room and take your seat near the window where both you and Yunjin sit.

By the time you set your notebook and book down on your desk, Yunjin comes running in the class, making a direct b-line to your desk. “Hey, where were you? I waited by the door for you before class started.” Out of breath, Yunjin held herself up on her hands that were on her thighs. “I heard people whispering and I just had to stick around and get the tea.” You weren’t really surprised, sitting down as she took the seat across from you. She catches her breath, leaning towards you while signaling for you to lean in. “Okay, so I was about to leave the lunch hall and I overheard some fangirls crying about how Haechan ha-“

“Stop right there, who’s Haechung?”

“Haechan.” Yunjin corrects you, laughing as you brush off the fact that you butchered someone’s name who you didn’t even know. “Anyway, he said to this girl that he got a love letter and rejected the poor thing solely based on this supposed letter he got in his locker.” Somehow, you don’t connect the dots and pass it off as a coincidence. “Huh, good for him I guess.” With her mouth agape, Yunjin looked at you in shock. “Girl, do you even know who Haechan is?” Shaking your head, you lean back into your seat and start to open your notebook back up to where you were before class started. “He’s literally one of your brother’s best friends, they’re pretty popular around school, especially with the ladies.”

“Who’s popular with the ladies?” Looking up from your notebook, your heart immediately starts to race when you see Heeseung looking down at you with a smile. “Not you, lover boy.” Yunjin and Heeseung exchange a look before they both turn their attention back to you. “Uh, just some guy in my grade and stuff.” He nods, taking the seat in front of you, smiling at you in a way that nearly takes your breath. “Well, I hope whoever he is didn’t catch your attention, wouldn’t want someone taking my favorite window-neighbor away.” You couldn’t comprehend exactly what he was saying, only nodding at him while trying to stop yourself from drooling. He laughs a little under his breath, watching as your eyes gloss over and merely smile back.

After hearing someone calling his name, Heeseung saw his desk mate waving him down, getting up from the seat to head over to where he typically sits. “Well, I’ll see you around y/n, yunjin.” Yunjin gave Heeseung a bitter smile, clapping her hands together as he walked away before turning back to you with an obvious shift in her mood. “Ugh, I know you like him and he makes your insides liquid and all, but he still irks me.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting this grudge carry on this long.” As dramatic as Yunjin may be, she never fails to let a grudge go, especially when it comes to Heeseung. “This long, are you hearing yourself, he spread all those false rumors about me and never apologized!” She scoffs underneath her breath as she sits back in her seat. “Can’t believe you thought I’d forgive so easily, who do you take me for?” Smiling at her, you reach out and rub her shoulder as she returns the smile. “Dunno, thought you were Jaemin for a second.” Snickering as she starts hitting on your leg, your teacher gathers the attempt of the room and begins the class.

By the end of the day, classes had finished and you opted to ride home with Chaewon instead of going with your brother. When you got in the door, you could hear your brother talking on the phone as you made your way through the hallway and down to your room. Jaemin heard you come in, ending his call and following behind you with a winning look on his face. “What do you want, nana?” Slipping his phone into his pocket, he leans against your door frame, watching as you toss your bag onto your bed. “I got some friends coming over in a minute and I just wanted to tell you we’ll be in the living room.” You turn to face him, sitting on your bed and start to dig through your bag. “And before you ask, I did get mom and dad’s permission, so don’t try to rat me out.”

Jaemin left your room, disappearing somewhere down the hall and into the living room you assume. Pulling out the essentials you bring with you to school, you feel a pair of eyes looking at you which was starting to creep you out. Looking up from the pile of stuff you took out of your bag, you look over to your window to see Heeseung standing in his room. Crouched down by his window, we waves at you to come over, to which you do. After crawling off your bed and crouching down to your window, you push it open and lean against the wall with your arms crossed to prop you up. Heeseung did the same, opening his window and sitting down by it as he looked across to you.

“So, do you normally stalk your neighbors or was that just a coincidence that I literally felt you looking at me?” He laughs, a sweet laugh that immediately makes you smile. “Actually, no, I just happened to look over and saw you were free and might need some company.” Shaking your head, you miss the way he smiles at you and instead enjoy the cool breeze coming your way. “You could’ve thrown rocks at my window or I don’t know, knocked on my front door like a normal person.” He arched up an eyebrow, grinning at you which had you blushing. “Are you inviting me into your house—no wait, into your room miss y/n, because all of those options sound pretty romantic to me.”

You were sure your face was probably as red as it possibly could be, clearing your throat to try and regain your composure. “Please, if I’m getting romantic with anyone, it’d be my three-d animated boyfriend, real boys aren’t my thing.” Heeseung laughed again, man you wish you could put his laugh on repeat. “Yeah yeah, whatever floats your boat.” Both of you started snickering at one another, interrupted when a group of boys started to make their way to your house. “Got company?” Shaking your head, you let out a sigh, almost forgetting your brother had friends coming. “No, Jaemin invited his friends over and I’m planning on camping out in my bed till they’re gone.”

Heeseung nodded silently, leaning forward and letting the breeze brush against his face. You watched how the wind moved the hair that usually fell almost into his eyes fly back and exposed the beautiful features you didn’t get to see often. He must’ve sensed you looking, smiling when his eyes met yours. “I-uh, I think I’m gonna go get a snack.”

“See you tomorrow, y/n.”

After Heeseung closed his window, you sat on the floor, screaming silently into the palms of your hands. Throughout all the years you’ve lived next to him, that was probably the most you two have talked since you were kids and all you can think of is how embarrassing you might’ve looked. Opting to get a drink to maybe cool your burning cheeks, you got off the floor and closed the window before heading out your room. You could already hear how loud Jaemin and his friends were, staying silent as you went into the kitchen.

“And I swear to you bro, it was the best confession I’ve ever gotten—hands down.” Whoever was talking sounded familiar, but you weren’t trying to listen too hard and just wanted to get a cup from the cabinet. “Bro, are you sure it was for you, I mean from what I’ve heard it sounds like they barely know you.”

“That’s the exciting part, they don’t know me and when I find them, they won’t be able to resist my charm.” Okay, you were physically disgusted by whatever they were talking about. Not sure what it is about boys their age, but they were always so sure they were the shit and that was not attractive at all. “I’m telling you, if I find her I’m going to make her mine, lemme just read it to you and you’ll know.” After pouring your drink, you leaned against the counter and took a couple sips. For some reason, your curiosity got the best of you and you wanted to know where this was going.

“Lee, I know that this is unexpected, but I have been thinking about you for quite some time and I think I’m ready to finally tell you how you make me feel.” Your entire body freezes, the hairs on your arms stand as you can almost feel the color drain from your face. “I’ve been harboring these feelings for you for a long time and I want you to know how deeply I feel for you, no other has ever made me want to love someone the way you do.” Panic starts to run through your veins as you try and think of how you managed to put the letter in the wrong locker. “Maybe you’ll find out who I am, maybe you won’t, but for now I’ll remain close to you at a distance, sincerely your secret admirer.”

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, this wasn’t supposed to happen and it wasn’t supposed to end up in the hands of whichever friend of your brothers. Thinking of how you could possibly make this situation better, the sound of your brother's voice being closer to you than you’d like makes you stiff. “Lemme see that paper, it looks kind of familiar.” All you can think of at this moment is how badly this is going to spread around your school if rumors are spread and a mental note to look into how to drop out of school. You must’ve spaced out, not realizing that someone had walked into the kitchen and was now staring at you. “Uh, can you move—I kind of need to get right there.”

“Uh—oh yeah, I’m sorry.” You manage to mumble to the boy who gave you an odd look. “Renjun, who are you—oh hey y/n, come here.” Trying your best to sneakily slip back to your room turned out to be an epic fail, hearing your brother calling out for you. When you turned around, all the eyes of the boys he had over were now on you and one in particular looked a little too familiar for your liking. “Is it urgent?” Judging by the look he gave you, you knew you had no choice but to come otherwise he’d physically move you himself. So you slowly made your way to where they were all sitting, shifting from one foot onto the other in hopes this would be over soon.

“This is y/n, she’s my sister.” Jaemin gestured to you as you awkwardly waved at everyone. “Y/n, that’s jeno—who you’ve met many times before, but the rest are Renjun and Haechan.” Jaemin pointed over to the one who you ran into in the kitchen, Renjun was his name. The other he pointed over to was grinning at you, making your stomach churn as you avoided his gaze. “Hello y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” Your eyes locked with Haechan putting all the puzzle pieces from the day together in your head. He was the one who rejected a girl for your love letter, the same guy who nearly knocked you off your feet on the way to the lunch hall. He’s been everywhere all in one day and something tells you that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

“‘Kay, nice to meet you, if you need me nana, call me.” Jaemin could sense you weren’t comfortable, the atmosphere shifting a little as you walked out. Jeno noticed Haechan’s eyes following you, meeting his friend's eyes with a knowing glare.

The next day at school was supposed to go smoothly, that is until you filled in the girls about the situation and they all didn’t react so quietly. “What the fuck!” Chaewon’s supposed whisper was a lot louder than she anticipated, Yunjin slapping her hand over her friend's mouth to quiet her. Due to the loudness from your huddled group on the field behind the gym, people were looking over at the four of you as you and Giselle tried to play it cool. “Do you have to be so loud?” Chaewon gave you an apologetic look to which you gave her a forgiving nod. “I’m sorry, I’m just shocked that the na y/n could be so ballsy and write up her confession into a love letter.”

“Which totally backfired on her, by the way.” Giselle made sure to point out the obvious in the situation, reminding you of your biggest regret in the last twenty-four hours. “You’re telling me, he was literally eyeing me down yesterday in my living room which ruined my vibe after talking with Heeseung.” Yunjin slung her arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to her as the three of you walked around the field. “Let’s just look on the positive side, maybe Haechan won’t find out it was from you and all will be well.”

“What wasn’t from y/n?” The sound of Jeno’s voice scared you all, making you and your friends jump a little before turning around to see a very confused and sweaty Jeno. “It’s called staying out of conversations you weren’t apa—“

“Okay, let’s go little firecracker.” Giselle took Yunjin away before she said something to upset the boy who was a little amused. “Can we talk really quick, alone?” Jeno shifts his eyes between you and Chaewon, nodding to your friend as she waves back to you before leaving you two. “So, what do you want?” Jeno laughs a little, rubbing the sweat from his forehead off with his shirt. “Kinda rude for someone who I practically grew up with, Jaemin would be disappointed.”

“Yeah, well you were more of his friend than you were mine so I don’t see any problem in getting to the point.” Jeno always admired how head-strong you were. Unlike your brother, you always skipped the line and got to the root of things whereas Jaemin was more relaxed and let things come as they go. “I just wanted to see what’s up with you and Haechan.” Your heart shouldn’t have started to race, not by the likes of his name. Maybe it was because in that instance, you caught a glance of him across the field and when you looked a little too long, he locked eyes with you and smiled.

“Haechan? Nothings going on with us, I barely know him, if even that.” Jeno doesn’t seem satisfied with your answer, but you’re hoping he’ll buy it enough to let you escape the boy who is now making his way towards the two of you. “Alright, I’m just looking out for you—you’re almost like a sister to me too and I don’t want you mixing with him, he doesn’t have the best track record with girls.” Somehow you’re almost sad to hear that, not knowing why you expected anything less than him being a player, nevertheless it still made you sad. “Thanks Jeno, but I gotta go before I’m late to my next class, bye!”

Haechan was hot on your heels, almost near you and Jeno if it weren’t for you cutting the conversation short and running off before you gave him the chance to catch you. Your friends were somewhere on the other side of the field by now, but you opted to head in and get changed before Haechan got the opportunity to steal your attention. You’re running back into the building, turning a corner and nearly running into the body of an oncoming student. “Woah, slow down, what’s the rush?” After brushing your hair out from your face, you look up to see Heeseung smiling down at you as you regain your composure. “Going somewhere important?” The breath in your chest stopped for a second, raking in the beautiful features that were Heeseung’s face.

“Uh—no, I actually was just going to get changed.” He nods, turning around to walk alongside you as you go towards your locker to get your spare clothes. “Hey, I saw the guys leaving your house yesterday, are any of them anyone I should know?”

“No, not really, I mean they’re just Jaemin’s friends so I only really know Jeno and the rest I met officially yesterday.” Heeseung was quiet, watching as you opened your locker and fished through your bag to get what you needed. “Why’d you ask, is there something wrong with them?”

“No no, I was just curious, that’s all.” After closing your locker, you look up at Heeseung one last time before starting to walk backwards towards the girls shower room. “You know what they say, curiosity is the cats greatest weakness.” He laughs, watching as your face heats up from the slight embarrassment you’re feeling. “I’m more of a deer kinda guy.” Laughing yourself, you turn your back to him and leave him standing there against your locker while watching your figure become further and further away from him.

As the day progressed, more and more people were whispering about the mystery girl who sent Haechan the love letter and how he was actively looking for her. Your friends tried their best to keep news from being spread to one ear to yours, but they can’t stop every girl in class from talking about it without drawing suspicion. You were more than happy to be home after school had ended, coming into your house and dropping your bag off in your room before going into the kitchen. Searching through the fridge, you don’t find much appetizing and decide to just heat up leftovers. While the leftovers are reheating, a knock on your door surprises you.

You expect it to be one of your friends or even your brother who maybe forgot his key, instead when you open the door you’re met with a very smiley Haechan. “Jaemin isn’t home.” Immediately dropping his smile for a pout, Haechan didn’t seem pleased with your emotionless reaction to him being at your door. “I already knew that, he told me to come and wait for him till he and Jeno get home.” You give him a single nod, staring at him as he slowly curls his lips up into a grin. “So can I help you or are you just gonna stand there?”

“Inviting me in would be nice.” Rolling your eyes, you step aside and let Haechan come in, watching as he looks around as if he’d never been into your house before. “Don’t go into his room, I’m not going to be responsible for his temper if you mess with his stuff.” Ignoring you, Haechan disappeared down the hallway, leaving you in the kitchen to take out your warm leftovers and a bottle of water. Assuming he went to the bathroom or maybe came down into the living room, you take your food and go into your room to see a very comfortable Haechan sitting on your bed. “Please leave before I call the cops.” Haechan smiled at you, leaning back onto his elbows as he looked around your room. “You invited me in, so technically you’d be wasting your time calling them.”

“Should I call Nana instead?” Wincing, Haechan got off your bed with a smack of his lips and slowly made his way around your room. “Why are you still here, I thought I told you to leave.” Ignoring you, he pulled your chair out from your desk and plopped down into it. By this time, you knew there was no getting rid of him and you were too hungry to even care. Too caught up into the food in front of you, you failed to realize Haechan went stiff as he fiddled with the materials on your desk. Picking up the notebook on your desk, his fingers grazed across the paper as his heart started to beat rapidly against his chest. Something in you told you to look up, feeling your stomach drop as you watched him study the paper in his hands. Immediately getting up from your bed, you grab the notebook from his hands with flushed cheeks as he stays still, looking down at his empty hands.

“Y/n, I’m home! Is Haechan here?”

Your brother’s voice echoed into your room, the tension between the two of you made the room go quiet. “Y/n, did Hae—oh, what’s going on?” Jaemin was more than confused to see you staring down at Haechan with a pink tinted face. Haechan, who still didn’t move until his friend's voice brought him back in, blinked a little before getting up from the chair and left your room without a word. Jaemin was genuinely confused, tilting his head at you. You already knew he wanted to know if you were okay, to which you gave him a nod and he left it at that. The rest of the night that the boys were down in the living room, you stayed in your room and hoped that the earth would swallow you whole at any second.

Since that night, it had been a couple weeks that passed and to say that things were awkward at first would be an understatement. Haechan wouldn’t look you directly in the eye the first couple days following, not that you really cared—but it did leave you feeling a little uneasy at first. When you finally think that maybe all would go back to normal, Haechan started to become a little bolder anytime you were near and to say it made you flustered was also an understatement. Not sure if it’s the lack of romantic—not that you’re calling him romantic—interaction you’ve had with boys up until this point or if it’s the pure charismatic side of him that’s rubbing off onto you each time he attempts a bad joke, but you’ve almost grown accustomed to him being around now.

Your friends on the other hand don’t like it too much, Yunjin advising you to watch how close you get with him and for once rooting for Heeseung. Giselle just wants you to be happy whereas Chaewon thinks Haechan is a cute match for you and thinks you’d be cute with him. You don’t know why you’re daydreaming about either of the boys when you should be focusing on the class you’re in, but what snaps you out of it are the girls whispering not-so-quietly behind you. “I heard that Lee Haechan is going to ask the girl who wrote him the love letter a couple weeks ago to the Valentine’s Day dance.”

“No way, he knows who it is?” You can only imagine the girl shrugged. “Dunno, I think it’s someone who he dated in the past or even someone who he’s known for a while.”

“Really? I’ve heard it’s one of his friend’s friend, but none of them really have female friends, all I can think of is Jaemin’s sister.” You assume they were trying to whisper the last part a little quieter, but they weren’t exactly achieving that. “Whoever it is, they sure are lucky, I mean having both Lee’s of the school being cuffed for Valentine’s Day is a first.”

“Both Lee’s? You’re not talking about Heeseung are you, because if you are I’m going to be devastated.” You felt almost guilty for listening to them, but you pretty much didn’t have a choice and pretended to take notes as they carried on. “Girl, I’ve heard from this girl who was hooking up with Jake that Heeseung told him that he’s planning on asking his longtime crush out for the dance!”

You must haven’t been the only one to hear them, seeing as your teacher loudly cleared their throat which caught the attention of both the girls. The rest of the class went by relatively smoothly, but the thought of Heeseung asking another girl out for the dance really made your heart hurt a little bit.

“What’s on your mind?”

You had been back at home, sitting on your front stairs as the storm clouds started to brew in. “Dunno, just thinking.” Heeseung joined you, sitting beside you as the two of you watched the sky turn from blue to a dark grayish. “You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking about the Valentine’s Day dance.” Heeseung smiled at you, just a little, but it was enough to bring a smile onto your lips. “Oh really? Speaking of that dance, I’ve heard that you’re planning on asking someone to go with you?” He shrugs nonchalantly, pushing his hair back as you laugh and give him a slight shove. “Don’t be so cocky, it’s not a good look on you.”

“But it is on Haechan, right?”

You’re taken aback by his words, falling silent before looking up at him confused. “Where did that come from?” With a heavy sigh, his shoulders roll forward and he shrugs. “Dunno, you two seem to be getting close, just thought there was something going on between you two.” Looking down at your hands, you ponder on whether you two are getting close. Yes, you did hang around your brother and his friends a little more often than usual, but that wasn’t directly for Haechan—was it? “Nah, we just talk because he’s always at my house.”

“Speaking of always being at someone’s house, you sure are always at mine when yours is right next door.” Jaemin was staring down at Heeseung, no sign of emotion on his face while Haechan leaned from behind your brother to send a smile your way. “Yeah, I should get going—I, uh, I’ll talk to you tomorrow instead, y/n.” Just like that, Heeseung got up and left you alone to be completely furious with your brother. “What the hell was that?” Jaemin rolled his eyes at you, walking past you as you got up from the stairs and followed him inside. “Don’t start with me y/n, I don’t wanna do this with you right now.” Genuinely confused and more frustrated, you slam the door behind you and follow him into the hallway.

“Don’t start what, nana, how about you don’t start shit with my friends like I don’t start with yours.” Jaemin scoffed, physically moving his body as he rolled his eyes. “Please, don’t you think it’s a little weird that he’s always around the house and if he’s not by our front door, he’s all out his window trying to talk to you.”

“You’re saying this like it’s a problem, your friends are always in our house taking up our space and eating everything in our fridge and you have the nerve to complain about our neighbor?” The two of you got into a pretty heated argument that ultimately was put out by your mom. Jaemin claimed the living room, seeing that his friends were still outside due to the tension between you two and you went back outside to get fresh air as the other two boys went inside, leaving you and Haechan under the darkened clouds.

“Hey, I don’t know if this is the right time, but I was wondering if we can talk?” Letting out the heavy breath you didn’t know you were holding in, you nod and Haechan sits down on the steps as you do the same. He fiddles with his fingers for a while as you let the breeze brush against you and relax your mind. “The letter I got, the one I found in my locker a couple weeks ago, that was you wasn’t it?” You could feel the hairs rise on your arms, your mouth suddenly going dry as you choose not to look at his dejected face. “And it wasn’t meant for me..was it?” For some reason, the sadness lingering in his tone made your heart hurt more than it should’ve.

“No—it wasn’t for you.” Just as his head hung, a downpour of rain started and the two of you didn’t bother to move. Maybe it was the emotional stress of all that has been going on, maybe it was because of the sudden comforting feeling of sitting beside him with only the sound of rain filling in the space that silence once occupied. Whatever it was, you felt all aspects of your guard coming down and let everything you’ve kept to yourself out. “I’ve liked him for so long, ya know, that I thought that maybe if I just tell him about how I feel then he’d feel the same way.” You didn’t have to elaborate, Haechan already knew from what he’s seen of your interactions with Heeseung that the boy next door was the one of your interest.

“Surprise surprise, it didn’t even get to him and I’m pretty sure if it did, he’d reject me.” Haechan lifted his head, looking over at you with somber eyes. Trying to fight back the urge of crying in front of him like a child, you sucked in the tears that were threatening to fall down your cheeks and focused your attention on the rain coming down in front of you. “How about we test that theory?” Looking over at him, he was clearly thinking of something that could possibly end in the worst way. Somehow, that didn’t scare you away from the curiosity that was the thoughts in his mind. “And how exactly are we gonna do that?”

“Take my hand and find out.” This should’ve been your sign to just go inside and pretend that this wasn’t happening, that the thought of taking his hand didn’t ignite a fire in you that you never knew you had. Instead of listening to yourself, you let your heart's unwanted beating lead the way and put your hand into his. He guided you from underneath the shelter of the porch and into the rain which at first wasn’t the most pleasant experience. “What does catching a cold have to do with testing if he likes me or not?” Haechan was more than amused by your not so happy expression as the rain got heavier, leaving the two of you drenched in a matter of seconds.

“Dance with me.” You weren’t sure if he was delusional or just downright crazy, both sounding like the best description of him at this moment. “Are you crazy, I don’t get how th-“

“Just dance with me y/n, for once stop thinking about anything else and dance with me.” Looking down at your hand in his, you decided to trust him, even if it meant you’d regret it later. Taking a couple steps forward, you were shocked when Haechan lifted your hand and spun you around, earning a laugh from the both of you. Pulling you in, he rested both of his arms around your waist as you wrap yours around his neck. The two of you slowly rock back and forth as the rain doesn’t show signs of letting up anytime soon. “How long are we supposed to stay out here exactly?” He hums against your shoulder, sending chills down your spine. “Until he’s jealous enough to realize he’s missing out on an amazing girl.”

About to question him, you realize in the midst of dancing that Heeseung was watching the two of you from his house and somehow it didn’t make you feel the way you’d thought it did. “Guess we’ll have to stay out here forever.” Haechan laughed, lifting his head up to lock eyes with you. The view of his honey skin up close combined with the water dripping off the tips of his hair alone was enough to have your heart skyrocketing. The cherry on top of the cake was the little moles scattered across his face that you could only view close up that made the warmth of your cheeks turn a shade of pink. “Fine by me, I like the view from here better than I did before.” With your fingers playing through the back ends of his hair, you slowly started to pull him closer, hoping that the softness of his lips would collide with yours. Unfortunately for you, your brother opened the door and called out for his friend, wondering where he had gone.

“Haechan, where are you—oh.” Instantly separating, both you and Haechan created a great distance between one another as you both awkwardly looked at Jaemin with flushed faces. “I, uh, the boys wanted you to know it’s your turn..on the game.” Without word, Haechan walked into your house and you followed behind him, ignoring the weird looks the two of you got from everyone in the room. Running to your room and shutting the door, you locked yourself in until your mom later told you the boys had left and a very awkward moment between you and Jaemin was felt by your parents during dinner. Afterwards, you got ready for bed and got on call with the girls to fill them in about the day you’ve had and prepare yourself for the day to follow.

The days that followed were not what you expected them to be. Haechan seemed to be avoiding you more than you thought he would whereas Heeseung was always around the corner and ready to spark conversation at any time. While you sit at the table with your friends in the lunch hall, your mind wanders off to your brother's table and your focus is on the boy whose laugh could be heard from a mile away. Your friends were too used to your spacing out to try and bring you back into the conversation, instead opting to watch you in a sad silence.

Heeseung made his way to your table instead of his, smiling down at you when you came back and saw him beside you. “What’s wrong?” Shaking your head, you dodge his question and instead push the tray away from you. “Nothing, just not feeling the lunch they served today.” Nodding, Heeseung nervously looks around for his friends who were silently rooting him on from across the hall. “Well, I was wondering if you still planned on going to the Valentine’s Day dance this weekend?”

“I guess, I mean I haven’t really thought much about it.” Overhearing your conversation, the girls all lean in and smile at the way Heeseung is looking at you. “Actually, we went dress shopping last week and y/n got the perfect dress.” Chaewon said proudly, propping her chin up onto her hands. “It’s pink, by the way, imagine a blush pink.” Yunjin adds in, winking at Heeseung as he nods knowingly at her. “Sounds like I’m going to go find a matching tie to go with your dress.” Shocked, you look at Heeseung with a confused expression as he then stands up with his friends rushing behind him. “Uhm—what are y—what’s going on?” By now, most of the lunch hall was looking over at your table and the embarrassment on your face was pretty evident.

“Na y/n, would you be my date to the Valentine’s Day dance—which in return is me asking you to be my valentine?” Overwhelmed was one way to put how you were feeling. The flowers his friends were holding along with the sign they passed to Heeseung and the pink tent of his face all made you feel persuaded that you should say yes. If you had asked yourself months ago what you would say in this instance, you’d immediately agree because this was a day you had been waiting for since you first met Heeseung and it almost saddens you how conflicted you are. Looking around the hall and seeing the sadness on Haechan’s face masked by the smile he wore, you didn’t know if your answer should’ve been swayed by a boy who didn’t even look in your direction since the near kiss experience.

“Uh, I—Heeseung, can we talk about this later?” A sea of ‘oohs’ and hushed whispers started to spread amongst the ones who were watching it all go down. If he was hurt, Heeseung sure didn’t show it as he gave you the same smile he always gave you and handed you over your flowers. “Of course, you know where to find me when you’re ready to talk.” Heeseung was sweet, probably one of the sweetest boys you’ve ever met, but your heart was begging you to clear the air before everyone gets hurt in the end and that’s exactly what you wanted to do. By the time you looked back over at your brother's table, all of his friends were still there, watching your reaction except the one person you’d hoped to see was now gone.

Sitting back down in your seat, all your friends looked at you in shock as you set the flowers down on the table. “I can’t believe you just rejected that man, in front of everyone!” Yunjin, like always, was the first one to say what was on her mind, but we’re not surprised. “It’s because of Haechan, isn’t it?” You didn’t have the courage to meet Giselle’s eyes, giving them all the answers they already knew. Pulling you in, they all gave you a hug from over the table and beside you as your jumbled up thoughts tried to sort themselves out.

When lunch was over and you walked back to your locker, you noticed everyone in the hallway was giving you strange looks and some even whispering amongst themselves when you passed by. Trying to keep your head up, you opened your locker and started to take out the necessary things for your next class when a note fell out. It was in a pink envelope, a heart sticker keeping it closed and it had your name on it when you flipped it over. Seeing how everyone was watching you, you shove it in your bag and opt to open it when you get home. Unfortunately for you, the stares and whispering didn’t let up and by the time you got home, you finally felt like you had some peace.

Instead of going straight inside, you walked around your house and saw Heeseung playing in his backyard with a couple of his friends from earlier. “Hey, ready for that talk?” Heeseung and the others looked your way, a smile being brought upon Heeseung’s lips when he saw you. “Yeah—Jake, tell Jay I’ll be in soon.” Jake gave him a nod and tiredly went inside, leaving you and Heeseung alone. “So, what’s up?” Walking over to the old swing-set he still had, you sit down and laugh at how far down it is to the ground. “Can’t believe we used to fight over whose feet would touch the ground first.” Heeseung joined you, smiling down at his legs before looking over at you. “Yeah, can’t believe you still beat me when I’m literally almost a foot taller than you now.”

“Don’t let the air up there go to your head.” The two of you laughed and reminisced for a moment until you both grew quiet and the lingering questions in the air were waiting to be answered. “I used to like you, a lot actually.” He didn’t meet your eyes, nor did you look in his direction, instead he remained quiet and let you say what you needed to say. “I don’t know exactly when it started, but one day I just couldn’t stop thinking about you and over all these years I never thought I’d be here, saying no to the one thing I always dreamed of.”

“You can’t control how you feel, y/n, if it wasn’t him, it was going to be someone else that caught your eye and unfortunately I was just too late.” Nodding, you felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness wash over you as you got up from his swing. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, I promise you I’m going to be happy as long as you’re happy.” The two of you hugged, embracing one another into a tight squeeze to savor the moment that you both knew was coming. The definition of your friendship would now never be the same, but in the same way it was a beautiful thing to come, even if it broke both of your hearts. “I’m always right next door if he does anything stupid, I mean it, literally throw a brick through my window if he doesn’t treat you right.”

“Don’t you mean you’ll throw a brick through his window if he doesn’t treat me right?” Looking up at him as you two pull back from the hug, he laughs at how he almost doesn’t make sense. “Whichever comes first, just know that a brick will be involved.” Laughing, you wave him goodbye and go back to your house. It was quiet when you got inside, knowing that Jaemin was home. Going straight to your room, you felt that it was safe to now let everything you’ve been bottling up now out, all the times you’ve felt so alone and not wanting to go to anyone was now tumbling out and the tears rolled down your cheeks. Jaemin knew, he always knew when you were sad and he immediately went into your room, meeting you on the floor and scooping you into his arms.

He always said it was a twin thing, how he knew you were sad and how you knew when he was sad. Somehow, after all these years, it still stuck with you both and despite this being the first time you’ve really interacted since your argument, it felt the most comforting. That night the two of you laid up on the couch watching movies of your childhood and ordered in once your parents got home. It was almost therapeutic to spend some quality time with your brother and even if he didn’t ask any questions, you knew he already had the answers he needed.

Later that night, you laid in bed and pondered over if you should read the letter that was left in your locker. Finally deciding on what harm it could possibly do, you got it out from your bag and opened it up. To your surprise, it was written similarly to yours and that in itself was a clue to who this could’ve been from. ‘Dearth favorite na twin, I’m writing this on the same day I found out you were the one who wrote the letter I got. Honestly, it hurt to know it wasn’t directed for me, but somehow I feel the universe knew what it was doing when it wound up in my locker. I regret not kissing you and I regret even more not talking to you afterwards, but maybe I can make up for it by asking you to be my date to the dance. Don’t answer now, answer when the time is right and if you don’t answer at all, I’ll take that as a yes. Love, your secret admirer.’

That night you held the letter to your chest, listening to your own heart beating to the thought of Haechan and rethinking over and over in your head how this all started and where it was now. Although it’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, you don’t think you’d change anything and probably for the first time in your life you were looking forward to the dance.

The following days didn’t change much, people still gave you a look in the halls, but Heeseung and you were still pretty friendly both in school and out. It was now the weekend and the Valentine’s Day dance was tonight. To say you were nervous was an understatement, but the girls reassured you that they’d be by your side the entire night. Jaemin advised you to get ready at one of the girls' houses since his friends planned to be at yours and he knew you weren’t ready to see Haechan just yet. Thankfully for you, Giselle said you could all come to her house and the four of you spent the night that Friday and got up early the next morning to prepare yourselves.

“I say we drop our dates and take our little y/nie instead.” Yunjin gave your cheeks a squeeze, mushing your face with her fingers which earned a laugh from Giselle and Chaewon. After swatting her fingers away, you rub out the sore spots. “I told you that I’ll be fine, no one is dropping anything for anybody unless it’s on the dance floor.” Chaewon smacked your arm with a pillow, giggling as she fell over into your lap trying to do so. “That’s so wrong, don’t ever say anything like that again, I swear Jaemin is rubbing off on you.”

“Hello, they’re literally twins, it’d be weird if he didn’t.” Chaewon playfully glared at Giselle's matter of fact statement. “Speaking of twins, your brother wants us to do a group photo when we’re done.” You nod at Yunjin as she grabs her makeup bags and lays them out. She made sure to point out which products she thought would complement each of you, not forgetting her speech about how women don’t need makeup to feel pretty and overall her importance about empowering women. The three of you all looked at her with a smile, knowing she’d go far in life with the way she carries herself. “Enough of that, let’s get some breakfast and some lipstick because we are not ruining this lipstick for a taco later.”

After the three of you headed downstairs and munched away on a late lunch-breakfast, you went back upstairs and took turns showering before getting ready. Meanwhile, back at your house, the boys sat in your living room and played games all afternoon, per usual. “What do you think it’s going to be like tonight?” Renjun, who was seated next to Jeno, asked as he scrolled through his socials and saw the different pictures of people from school getting ready. “Probably lovesick, pink and sparkly.”

“Hey, don’t judge pink, my sister is wearing pink tonight.” Jaemin whipped his head around quick enough to shoot a glare at Jeno. “Half the student-body is going to be wearing pink, it’s literally a valentines dance.” Haechan added in, groaning loudly when he ended up losing his spot in the game and switched out with Jeno. “Speaking of a certain Na twin, she’s been quiet today, is she home?” Renjun asked out of curiosity, not missing the sadness it brought his friend. “No, she stayed at Giselle’s house and they’re getting ready there.”

“They?” Jeno asked, needing clarification. “Giselle, Chaewon, Yunjin and Y/n.” All the boys turned to give Haechan a weird look, the boy giving a shrug in return. “How do you know all my sister's friends' names?” Jaemin asked, raising a brow at Haechan. “She mentioned them when we would pass one another, nothing much about it.” The other three all knew he was bullshitting, not believing him for a second as they snicker amongst themselves. “Bro, we all know you like her, you don’t have to hide it.” Renjun was the first to say what everyone was thinking, making Haechan’s face turn red. “Shut up, I don’t like her—even if I did, she’s my best friend's sister, I’m not that kinda guy.” Jaemin frustratedly throws his controller down into his seat, switching out with Renjun and sitting beside Haechan.

“I know you’re not and I respect you for that, as much as I never thought I’d say this, just date my sister already.” Haechan was more than taken aback by Jaemin’s words, looking at him with wide eyes. “She’s really been down with you not around and I know for a fact that she likes you back.”

“And how are you so sure?” Jeno joins in, looking way too concentrated on the game to be butting in on a conversation. “It’s a twin thing, take that knowledge as you will.” The rest of the evening until they had to get dressed went without you being the topic of conversation, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t leave Haechan’s mind. With the knowledge he now had, he knew exactly what he needed to do when he saw you tonight and it starts out by getting to the dance early.

After you and the girls finished getting dressed, doing your hair and applying minimal makeup, it was time to head out and off to the dance you went after taking way too many pictures for your brother and parents. You were partly nervous to see Haechan in the crowd, but you kept telling yourself to keep it cool if you did. Keep it cool, how hard could that be? Very hard actually, seeing as the moment you walked in, he was near the entrance and looked way too good for your liking. Looking around, Haechan was impatiently waiting for you to arrive, a feeling of relief washing over him when he finally sees you. Your eyes lock with his and for a moment, he can’t seem to catch the breath you took from him. He doesn’t do well in math, but with the light hitting you in just the right spot and you overall looking breathtaking, it’s all adding up in his head how down bad he is for you.

Moving through the people coming in, he directly goes to you and gently grabs your hand. “Hi.” Smiling up at him, you can see the slight shade of pink in his cheeks. “Hi, hyuck.” If he were to fall out and go to heaven now, he would honestly be content with the use of a nickname from you for him. “Wanna take pictures with me?” Nodding, you let him lead you over to the photographer and a sudden sense of deja vu rushed over you as you think back to the day you two danced in the rain. Standing in line, the two of you were next up and after getting in a recommended position, your first picture of the night was taken. “Another one, this time, show me you’re in love.” Nodding at the photographer's second suggestion, you turn your head to Haechan who was leaning in. You weren’t sure where this was going, but you closed your eyes and braced yourself for whatever was going to happen. When his soft lips were met with your forehead, the picture was taken and the both of you left with red cheeks and racing hearts.

The lights weren’t dark just yet, but they were starting to dim as you two lingered around the dance floor. You spotted Heeseung from across the room and he sent you a thumbs up as you held Haechan’s hand. “Alright, let’s kick things off tonight with a special request from a certain someone who’s ready to tell his girl how he feels.” Haechan looked way too nervous to not have anything to do with the random song request as he led you out to the middle of the dance floor. Some students started to step back and give the two of you space as a single light shines down on you both. It started to feel like a movie, only this time it was your life. “Na Y/n, I’ve been waiting for this answer for quite some time now and if it hasn’t been obvious, I’m head over heels for you, so will you do me the honor and be my date to the valentines dance?”

You were sure your face was just as pink as your dress, covering your mouth to hide the fact that it was hung open. “Yes, I’d love to be your date.” As dramatic as it sounds, people clapped around you and when the song started to play, you took his hand and pulled him into your arms. The two of you slow-danced to songs that had your heart melting against his warm touch and the songs that were a little more upbeat was the perfect opportunity for you to ditch your date and dance amongst your friends while all of you smiled back at the boys who watched in envy. After the first couple of hours, you were ultimately exhausted and stepped off the floor to go get something to drink.

Haechan followed behind you, stopping at the drink station while you took the time to rehydrate. “Do you hear that?” He mumbled, staring off at the entrance which also doubled as the exit. “Hear what, hyuck?” A slow grin formed amongst his lips before he grabbed your hand and started to walk away. “Where are we going, hyuck I’m still thirsty!” You tried to protest with him, pulling him back to the station. After thinking you had won, you took another sip before being swept off your feet—literally. Haechan had scooped you up bridal style and started running out the exit with a childlike smile on his face. “Lee Haechan put me dow—oh!” When the two of you were now outside, you realized why he was so eager to come out and immediately started laughing as the two of you felt your clothes soaking up the rain that was falling down.

Putting you down, he immediately pulled you against him and held your waist. “I’m not gonna make the same mistakes I did before.” Smiling softly at him with your hands resting on his shoulders, you rub at his neck. “Making up for lost time, I guess.” He shook his head, laughing under his breath before leaning in and connecting his lips to yours. The feeling felt almost electric, a spark going through your body and spreading chills across your skin. You never knew a kiss, a simple kiss could captivate you the way it is now. Maybe it was because the two of you had longed for this for too long and a mix of the rain and the salt from your sweat coming down onto your lips, whatever it was, you knew you’d made the right decision the day you wrote a failed attempt at a love letter. Even if it didn’t end up in the right locker number, locker #66 would forever be your favorite.

©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022

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atinyjules · 1 year ago

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RELY ON ME THE WAY I

DO FT. LEE HAECHAN

Lean on me and I promise I'll hold you tight.

Snippet

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

#kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop imagines masterlist #kpop series masterlist #kpop series #kpop masterlist #kpop #nct au #nct dream x reader #nct dream haechan x reader #nct dream series #nct dream masterlist #nct dream series masterlist #nct dream haechan #nct dream high school au #nct dream au #nct dream #nct dream fluff

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kaesficrecarchive · 2 years ago

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[mark x donghyuck]

you and i, seriously by madlife (1/1 | 17,548 | T)

Donghyuck faced Mark, only to find him staring at him. Out of panic, and being the cool guy that he was of course, Donghyuck winked. And then he spun around and went to the classroom, yelling, “What’s taking you guys so fucking long!”

(Mark is graduating, Donghyuck needs to confess and he has never procrastinated this BAD before.)

(author)

#markhyuck fic #markhyuck #mark x donghyuck #mark x haechan #nct 127 #nct dream #one shot #t: high school au #t: friends to lovers #t: mutual pining #wc: 10k-25k #c: kpop #rpf

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kpop-in-hogwarts · 2 years ago

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Wrong House Ch 3: How it starts is how it ends

Cast: Jeon Jungkook, Unnamed Trio, Jungkook's mom (flashback, kinda), Madam Pince (cameo)

Summary: Jungkook wakes up on Halloween Morning, and forgets that there's no class + a horrible day in general. Oh right, and he has an encounter with a warrior, or two, and the Gryffindor's Snake.

"How you start your day is how you live your day", is a phrase Jungkook has heard once and has never thought of again but for some reason. That morning. He remembered it. Remembered his grogginess at the time. Remembered the gentle tug as the blanket was pulled away from his body. Remembered his mother's voice as she said it and the way she laughed as he rolled off the bed, still half asleep.

Jungkook hadn’t known it at the time, but his mother was right. The rest of his day was as confusing as his morning started.

Not feeling too hungry at the time, Jungkook decided that staying in the library was likely the best place for him, I'll go study transfiguration in advance. He thought to himself as he ducked just in time to avoid a flying - was that a bludger? He turned to get a full look at whatever it was that came hurtling at him only a second ago but it was gone.

Confused, Jungkook continued to the library only to find that he couldn't enter it. Or, more specifically, he wasn't allowed in. Madam Pince had all but pushed him back out the door as soon as she caught a glance of him with the instruction of "come back tomorrow", and the slam of the door. He must have stayed by the door for a few more minutes after that, mulling over what just happened and trying to figure out if he'd done anything that might have caused the librarian to act that way. He still has that charms book on his desk that he was supposed to return yesterday... Or maybe this was because of what happened last Friday... But if it was any of those, why was he allowed back 'tomorrow'?

With that thought still running through his mind, he decided he'd try to ask her tomorrow and began his trek to the Great Hall for something to eat.

The Great Hall was, with the exception of a few stranglers, deserted. Jungkook didn't bother looking around for too long before taking a seat at the end of the Gryffindor table, he knew none of the other first years in his house were up yet and a quick scan of the tables didn’t show/stand out any faces.

Halfway through his breakfast of eggs and bacon, he looked up at the muttering sound. A trio sat at what was usually the Ravenclaw table but breakfast was typically eaten with whoever you wanted (unlike dinner time so no décor). They weren't talking very loud but in the large room with barely anyone around, the sound traveled strangely well. Snippets of the conversation reached Jungkook's ears and he tried to make sense of it out of curiosity, but the trio seemed to have sensed that someone was listening in and their voices became quieter. I shouldn't have done that, Jungkook thought, quickly finished the remainder of his breakfast, and made his way out of the Great Hall.

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theficblog · 2 years ago

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No but like imagine being abroad to study in a prestigious school and then ur school mates are legit nct dream (non idol au) and this whole dark academia school murder mystery begins to build up

Its realistically unlikely for a girl and a boy to share a dorm in an actual academy but for plot wise im saying mc is mark's new roommate after his 'suddenly' disappeared and can u imagine him in those preppy school outfits and his stupid dumb cute glasses?? 😭😭

yooo! that also happens to sound like something that you'd write fr

but like i can imagine you being roommates with mark while the haechan guy rots in jealousy but mark passes for this role like 100/100 the glasses. the hoodies. he is also president at clubs and councils. prolly in the poetry association too. i mean he has his lights on till 3 am cos he has to study sorry for your sleep. campus crush mark. he feels like an english major idk, like literature.

jeno is on the sports team. jaemin in the knitting club. renjun is at history. haechan would be a rebel but in business classes or something. chenle gives math and jisung is in kindergarten?

also nobody asked but please let me and chenle be roommates then👉👈

#ash #but do refrigerators go to school?#anyways ofc as haechan you'd want mark yeah wbk #ash&bae's nct college au

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ohhmydyosfics · 2 years ago

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(Nohyuck) flares

Donghyuck has many hiding spots but Jeno knows them all.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10524747

#flares #Nohyuck #Jeno #Donghyuck #Haechan #NCT #NCT U #NCT 127 #NCT Dream #fanfic #oneshot #high school AU #kissing

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luumiinaa · 1 year ago

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this song is how i see/feel(?) about this couple; their budding relationship gives off this, chill yet soft-summer acoustics vibe 🥹🎶💕

High Hopes | Jeno

summary: jeno has been noticed by everyone except the one he wants to be noticed by: you

words: 7.5k+

category: baseball player!jeno x reporter!reader, FLUFF

Keep reading

#☾.ᐟ moon #☆.ᐟ mercury #fic: short #nct #nct dream #jeno #academia #high school au #sports au #strangers to lovers #unrequited love

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a3r3n · 7 months ago

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[4:07 pm] || Lee Haechan

«Don't talk to me,» you whispered to the boy sitting next to you.

To say that you were furious was an understatement. You were so mad at him, your cheeks had turned red, and you were releasing fumes from your ears.

You couldn't stand him. It was all his fault if you were about to spend two whole hours sitting in that dark little room, being unable to do anything unless you wanted the teacher to yell at you. It was all his fault if the frogs in your Bio lab escaped and the whole school freaked out. He had the brilliant idea to free them in the girls' restroom, and you had only been unlucky to be there at that very moment. What you didn't expect, though, was the principal to give you detention as well. So there you were, trying to avoid the boy's teasing at all costs.

«Come on, we're going to spend two hours here, and knowing Mr. Kim, he'll probably get bored and leave us alone in...» he checked his phone, «three minutes. Better learn how to get along, shall we?»

You sighed and turned your head to the other side. You had never liked that Donghyuck guy, 'Haechan' as he liked to be called. A deranged human source of troubles without one worry in his life.

While you were thinking of a way to get the boy to stop talking, the teacher had disappeared, and you were left alone with that annoying nag.

«Aren't you ever tired?» you burst out after he'd called your name while pinching your arm for the fourth time in a row.

«Of what?» He seemed sincerely confused.

«Of constantly acting like this. Of doing stupid things and getting in trouble every time. Why can't you take the school seriously? It isn't a game: it's our future we're talking about!» you said, trying not to raise your voice too much.

«Man, I didn't know you were such a goody-two-shoes. It's not a crime to have fun sometimes, you know?»

«You don't have fun, Donghyuck. Yours is straight-up madness!»

«Maybe. But from what I'm seeing right now, a little bit of it wouldn't do you any bad.»

You snorted and looked away, but he grabbed your chin and made you turn your face to him again. «We still have more than an hour and a half left; we could use this time to teach you how to have some fun.»

You looked at him in disbelief.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

✰❀Nct (all units) Masterlist❀✰

✰❀Main Masterlist❀✰

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gonelike-ach00 · 3 months ago

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ꜰᴏᴜʀ - jeno

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summary:

They weren't aware of it but they were beginning to write their future as the days finally welcomed their youth. Now, as the sun begins to rise and the cold days of childhood leave them, they are welcomed into the warm—sometimes too hot—hug of youth.This was their start--the first taste of the warmth of youth.

genre:

fluff, angst, slice of life, high school romance, recurring anthology

word count : 2.2k

pairing: high school! jeno x high school! female character

ꜰᴏᴜʀ - jeno

After lunch library sessions were his favorites. Sure, Jeno loves his friends and always chooses to spend time with them, but it was during his lunchtime study sessions that he found himself the most productive. The library barely has anyone in them after lunch, students would usually find themselves hanging around with their friends.

“Naeun!” Jeno raises his hand to greet Lee Naeun from class D, who worked part-time at the library. He never thought he was allowed to, until apparently, he finds out that instead of being paid monetarily, her tuition gets a cut.

“Jeno!” She stops him from walking into the library any further, she stands from her seat.

“Yeah?”

“Your usual seat’s occupied.”

He straightens his back and looks at her weirdly. His head jolts back and he stares at Naeun as if she had gone crazy for a good few seconds. “What do you mean?”

Naeun sighs. “I mean your seat’s taken.”

“By who?” He doesn’t even need to catch his breath when he asks this.

Naeun mutters something under her breath. “Just so you know, you don’t technically own that spot, right?” She leans in towards Jeno and then leans forward, not really towards him, but beside him as she peaks out of her seat in the library and tries to catch a glimpse of the person sitting in his seat. “She seems to be having the time of her life studying on that seat.”

“Study?—” Jeno needed a moment to realize who might have taken his favorite spot. There was only one other student at his age who would willingly study during lunch breaks. Nearly everyone else took this as a chance to rest and hang out with friends since most of the students during the day would be studying. No, he was sure that anyone serious about their future would most likely end up studying even after school had ended, which is why lunchtime was reserved for breaks and playing games with your friends.

Except for someone like Cho, Cho Eunji.

Jeno took a few steps back to catch a glimpse at whoever was sitting at his favorite seat. It was the perfect place to study, it was at the edge of the library and sat in front of a window that looked out the school grounds. Sure, you would be able to hear the other students talking, laughing, and giggling, but it was the perfect mix of silence and murmurs.

“Why did you let her sit there?”

There in that same spot, Cho Eunji was sitting. Her eyes were glued tightly on the paper in front of her and her non-dominant left hand was keeping her head up as she read through the text in front of her. He had never seen her with earphones on, thus, this was the first sight he had ever caught her listening to music at all. The white earphones felt like a contrast to her study bug exterior.

A subtle change that he can’t seem to take his eyes off.

“Jeno,” if Naeun had never talked, he would have never taken his eyes off of her, “just take the seat beside hers.”

The comment alone makes his eyes roll. “Really?” If he could stomp, he would have, but he knew better than that.

“Jeno—” That was the last thing he heard from Naeun before he made his way to Cho, so lost in her studies that she didn’t seem to notice the looming presence over her shoulder.

Did Jeno find Cho a beauty in his eyes? Yes. If he denied that he would be lying. But does he find her absolutely repulsing and a constant reminder that he was just not doing enough? Absolutely.

This is why instead of being the better person of simply just tapping her shoulders to catch her attention (which he didn’t need to do if he wore his big boy pants), he knocks on the the wooden table she was sitting on. Of course, her eyes would look at his hand first then slowly trace his arms to his face. Cho looked at Jeno, at first, confused then annoyed to be seeing him standing there bothering her.

“Of all the seats?” Jeno asks her as she takes out one of her earphones. “Really?”

Cho pauses and then takes out the other earphones she has in her ear. Then she looked behind her because this was definitely a joke, wasn’t it? Then at the far back there Naeun was standing by the entrance of the library staring at the two of them with her hands on her waist just like the perfect librarian she was. She shakes her head as Eunji looks at Jeno once again. “What—”

“This is my seat.”

“Your seat?” She lifts one side of her book and then the other. Shaking her head as if she was confused that she couldn’t find what she was looking for, she looked at Jeno innocently. “Last time I checked your name isn’t written anywhere here?”

“Come on, Cho.” Jeno sighs and looks away from her in frustration. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

Eunji’s eyes just look up at Jeno innocently. “On purpose?”

Jeno could see it in her eyes. She knew. She knew that this was where he would study after eating lunch with his friends. He knew that this was where he would be at his most productive. There’s no way she didn’t know if it was written all over her face.

Jeno runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He never likes admitting defeat when it comes to Cho. It was as if his whole body was wired to not allow her to win. Thus, in his stubbornness, he doesn’t drag out the seat beside her—no, he was more petty than that. He stands.

He stands lingering over her shoulder as he pulls out his review notebook and scans the notes he had taken in class. He just stands there, with his backpack on and his notebook in his arms. He pulled out his ballpen from his pocket and started underlining sentences he had written earlier in class.

Eunji just sits there staring at him in absolute disbelief. There was no way Jeno was acting like a ten-year-old child not given his favorite chocolate on Halloween. No, she was sure this scene was incomprehensible for those who know Jeno merely for his academic excellence. In the mere few months he’s been at this school his reputation has skyrocketed. He was friends with cool— she dared argue that they weren’t really that cool—the crowd of the school. had grades unlike any of the guys (or any guy in school at all) in his friend group, and was gifted in the coordination department. Yet, he sulked like a small kitten who was forced to take medicines because they ate off the mud in the park.

“Just sit down will you?” She leans back on her seat.

Jeno looks around him before looking back at Cho. “My seat’s already been taken,” he shrugs his shoulder.

“Oh my god!” She sighs and throws her whole head down on the table. She looked to the side and she could see that Naeun was no longer in her line of sight. Even her friend has given up on keeping an eye on the two of them.

Jeno pauses and closes his notebook to lean his lower body on the table where her stuff sits. “I don’t even see you in the library during this time,” Jeno complains. As he remembers that he would always see her sitting in her seat chatting with Bona (who would often come and visit the class because Renjun was there).

“What’s—”

“It’s just you also take breaks during lunch.” He shrugs not really realizing the fact that he just exposed that he paid a little more attention to her than anyone else around them.

Except, the dense Jeno was lucky that Eunji was equally as dense as he was.

“Bona said she had something to do today.”

“That’s weird.” Jeno tilts his head to the side.

Eunji’s eyes snap towards him after his comment. “What’s weird?”

Jeno opens his mouth and then sighs. He turns his body a little bit toward her and puts his notebook down on the table. “Renjun returned to the classroom after we had lunch.” Just as his friend always did. Renjun was always the first back in the classroom because he knew that Bona would be waiting there with Eunji.

“So, Renjun doesn’t know she had something to do?” Even Eunji leaned back in her chair as she tried to think about what was going on with Bona.

“Is she sick?” Jeno asked.

Eunji shakes her head.

“Is there anything bothering her?” He tries to ask again.

“Not that—” Eunji pauses, because she knows Bona made an odd comment yesterday.

“So, she said something?”

Eunji’s head snaps up and she turns to look at Naeun. She stands up from her seat and takes a few steps towards Naeun, except she isn’t seated where she usually sits. Knowing that her friend was often busy at lunch, she didn’t want to bother her with the question about Bona. Eunji gives up and turns around, except when she does Lee Jeno is sitting in the seat she left open.

“What are you doing?” She stomps back to where he was now seated.

Jeno looks at her innocently in the same teasing manner she gave him earlier. “What?” He even shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“What did I do?” He turns his whole body towards the desk and pulls his chair into the desk.

“You can’t possibly be sitting there, when all my stuff is literally on the table.” She crosses her arms over her chest and leans her weight onto one of her legs while staring at him in absolute disbelief.

Jeno looks over his shoulders and then down to the table. He pretends to look under the table first before heading towards the chair—even standing up in the process—and looking through it as if he would spot her name written on those two objects. “Sorry, can’t see anything here.” He shrugs.

Eunji reached down to close her open book, there at the front of the book was her name neatly printed and placed inside the plastic sleeve of the book. “Here.”

Jeno’s eyes looked at the book then back at her, then down at the book once again, and then back at her. This was all before he slumped into the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh come on, Cho, you—”

“Hey.” Naeun walked up behind Jeno and appeared closer now in Eunji’s line of sight. “Can the two of you tone it down?”

Even Eunji was baffled by the request. There was barely anyone in the library. No, Eunji and Jeno were sure that besides the three of them, no one really went around the library after lunch. Then they hear the door of the library open and close. All their heads turned towards the direction of the sound, but they were all too late. The only thing they saw was the door closing.

“Someone else was—” Jeno doesn’t even turn around.

“Aside from you,” Naeun was referring to Jeno, “Sua and Mina always come by during lunch.”

“Sua?” Eunji repeats the name Naeun had just said.

Naeun nods her head. “Yeah, Shin Sua, she’s a girl from class D. She’s really good friends with Mina from your class.”

Eunji nods her head familiar with Mina, yet not so familiar with the girl named Sua. “She new?” She asked Naeun.

“Who? Mina or Sua?”

“Sua.”

Naeun shakes her head. “I think she moved here during her second year in middle school. She always kept to herself, so she didn’t stand out too much.”

Eunji turns her head around towards Jeno after asking Naeun all her questions. She thought clouds were forming above his head because even with the high beam of the afternoon sun, his expression had darkened. It wasn’t in anger, that much she could tell, but one she couldn’t particularly read on his face. This was saying a lot because she has definitely teased Jeno far more often, some she admits were really pushing it, but she has never seen him with this kind of expression on his face.

“Jeno? Are you—”

He stands up from his seat and takes his notebook back into his arms. Then he does something that definitely throws both Naeun and Eunji off, he bows.

“Jeno—” This time Naeun tried calling out his name as he made his way out of the room, except he was stopped when Mina appeared from the corner.

Jeno stops walking and looks at her. Her short bobbed her and softer cheeks made her blend in really well with everybody else. There was nothing distinct on her face that he could remember, but he knew that she was definitely a classmate of his. Mina, on the other hand, after quickly meeting Jeno’s gaze averts her own and bows her head before running after her friend.

It didn’t take long before Jeno followed suit and left the library earlier than he usually did.

“What just—”

“I know.” Eunji was shocked to see that Jeno, who always seemed to like the idea of challenging her, just backed off and disappeared.

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kpop-in-hogwarts · 2 years ago

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Wrong House Ch 2: Second Home

Cast: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Mingyu (mentioned, Jeong Jaehyun (kinda)

Summary: Jungkook wakes up on Halloween Morning, and forgets that there's no class + a horrible day in general. Oh right, and he has an encounter with a warrior, or two, and the Gryffindor's Snake.

'A second home', the man had said. Well, I don't need a second home, Jungkook had thought so then and still do so now almost three months into the school year. I already had a home. He grumbled to himself as he got ready for the day ahead, silent so as to not wake his dormmates. Today was a Friday so his first lesson was Transfiguration, followed by Charms, then History of Magic after lunch. Which, if anyone had asked Jungkook, or anyone else in his year for that matter if that was a good idea, then the response would be a massive no. Or maybe, actually, a yes if (Mingyu) was asked because being full makes one sleepy and Professor Binns has a very great talent for lulling people to sleep. A combination that was NOT ideal if one wanted to pass his class.

The grandfather clocked chimed from somewhere in the room the tune, a different one for every hour, told him that it was six am. He waited for the loud blaring of the alarm and the collected groans of five boys as it pulled them from whatever nice dream they were having. Except.

Nothing. Nothing followed the soft hourly tune.

He got up from his perch, checked his watch and - yeah, no today was definitely a Friday. He stood for a few more minutes, contemplating, and then headed towards the bed nearest to the fireplace. Watched and waited as the duvet moved and stilled. He stood at the side of the bed thinking. In the end, impatience won out and Jungkook slowly shook the boy awake. "What? ", he muttered sleepily, eyes remaining shut. "I think the clock's broken. It's already six but it hasn't rung properly yet"

Jaehyun opened his eyes and stared at Jungkook (trying to see if he was serious or if he'd somehow gotten dragged into someone's prank) "Am I the first one you woke up?"

"Yeah, you're normally the second person to get out of bed and I figured you can help me wake up the others."

"Good. Don't."

"What?"

"Don't wake up the others Kook", he said with a laugh, "they might smother you with a pillow or something". At Jungkook's silence, Jaehyun continued, "Kook, it Halloween. We don't have any classes today"

"Oh." He blinked and moved back toward his own bed, letting Jaehyun slide back under his covers and back to dreamland. Well that's a waste of sleep, he thought as he glared at his potions assignment sitting on the table. The one he's stayed well into dawn to finish.

Jungkook sat back on the edge of his bed, silently debating if he should try to go back to sleep or not. The 'not' won out. Well aware that he was now more awake than earlier, he decided to change out of his uniform into some jeans and a sweater, a walk might be nice. There shouldn't be a lot of people awake at this time.

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luumiinaa · 5 months ago

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two orbits coming together to create a solar-eclipse, aka two besties finally sit down to talk 😂

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: sun and moon | lhc

summary | your childhood best friend, donghyuck, claims he loves you. given his other friends and who he is as a person, you don’t believe him.

genre | lee haechan x fem!reader, high school seniors! au, childhood best friends to lovers, angst, fluff at the end, hyuck + the rest of 7dream are canonical assholes

warnings | high school parties (i.e. underage drinking)

wc | 6.1k

a/n: got a little carried away w this one, so thanks to the anon who requested it! anywho, i listened to tek it by cafune on repeat while writing this, so if u want a song rec ^^ imagine black haired glimo hc for this one <33 (p.s., if you want to play the game reader describes, this is the link) (p.p.s ignore their high school classes this is fanfic logic)

ft. sungchan, loona’s gowon, le sserafim’s chaewon

IT’S A SATURDAY AFTERNOON, and Donghyuck is laying down on your bed, watching you play whatever stupid video game you were infatuated with now. He didn’t come over often, not since your first year, so there was a slight bit of awkwardness between you two.

Nevertheless, you allow him to lay there, dressed in the tacky cool-guy getup that he seemed to love so much.

Outside, rain poured, and you knew that was the chief reason he was in your bedroom right now. If there wasn’t a flash flood warning, he’d be out and about with Mark Lee, Na Jaemin, and the rest of them, ruining people’s days left and right for the fun of it.

You wanted to consider Donghyuck to be your best friend, still. Given who he was now, the reputation he harbored, and the lack of time spent with one another, you didn’t feel like he was.

“I don’t understand the game,” he said, catching your attention fairly easily. You turned your head, giving him a dirty look for interrupting your flow. “You just look like you’re putting lines and boxes on a screen, but there’s a score.”

“You’re supposed to make paths. You close them off with the little dots,” you mumbled, turning back to your screen. The sound of Donghyuck sliding off your bed and kneel-walking to your side filled your ears but was mostly drowned out by the rain and the sound of the music coming through your speakers.

He stopped his kneel-walk adjacent to you, squinting at the screen. You didn’t slow down or try to explain your moves, simply placing each piece you were given in a way that most made sense.

“I seriously don’t get it. Is there a strategy to this?”

“No.”

“So you just…play for fun?”

“U-huh.”

“Man,” he mumbled, leaning his chin on the edge of your desk. You continued playing, clicking your shapes around into places they most fit, ignoring the way Dongyuck seemed to stare at you, now, rather than the game. “Who’ve you been hanging out with, these days?”

That question struck a chord. Briefly, you remembered the week-and-a-half where you stuck to Donghyuck as he began growing close with his current friends, and how left out you felt through the whole experience. It was, quite possibly, the worst week of your life.

“Sungchan from the grade below, Chaewon, and Gowon,” you replied, wondering if he’d even know who they were. From the way he didn’t respond, you assumed he didn’t, which hurt a little bit. “Uh, Chaewon is—”

“The girl with the short hair. Yeah, Renjun had a bit of a thing for her a while ago,” he cut you off with some unprompted information, which shocked you. If you remembered correctly, Chaewon had a massive crush on him for about a year; the new information made you wonder if he’d pursued her and dropped her the moment he’d found a better target.

“Really? Huh,” you hummed, glancing down at him. You made eye contact for a split second, but you broke it off the moment you realized how intense his stare was.

“So, how do you play this game?”

A small sigh escaped your lips, short in duration yet heavy in weight. You pointed at one of the boxes on the screen, turning to him once again. “You want to put the little circles in the boxes. Using the ‘X’ shapes, parallel lines, and the single lines, you want to connect all the boxes together to make paths. You put the little circles on the end of empty lines, too. You get points depending on how many circles you put in the boxes and how many circled-off paths you make.”

“Yeah, that makes absolutely no sense,” he scoffed. You were glad his attention was on the screen again. A bright flash of light broke through your bedroom windows, followed by a floor-shaking boom shortly thereafter. “You were always smarter than I was.”

“Not a chance. You just never tried hard enough.”

Silence fell between you two, and the only noise in the room turned into soft clicks and the droning of your music. It was nice being able to pretend like he wasn’t there, although you couldn’t help but wonder when you started feeling so…averse towards him. Maybe it was a product of the leftover hurt of his abandonment last year, or maybe it was because of how different his presence was.

When you were little, your mom always called him the sun and you the moon. He was bright and happy, always dressed in vibrant colors and ready to stand up for you whenever anyone did or said anything mean. He loved it when you and your mom took him to the beach, in the same way you loved it when he and his mom took you up into the countryside.

You were opposites as a kid, in the way that you were puzzle pieces that easily fit together. At some point, though, other pieces were added to that puzzle, and you both were torn apart by pieces that just fit better.

“[First]! Donghyuck!” Your mom called, her voice barely comprehensible above the pouring rain and the music. “Dinner!”

You picked up your phone, paused the music, and unplugged your phone from its charger. But, before you could stand up, Donghyuck put a hand on your knee, sending a shiver down your spine. You gave him a look, mentally saying “what the hell?” but he quickly explained himself.

“Can we talk? Just for a second.”

You gave him another look but complied. “One second, Mom!” you yelled, hoping she heard. “Just finishing up a game!”

He pushed himself off the floor, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. You spun around in your desk chair, pulling your knees up to your chest and chewing on the inside of your cheek. He cleared his throat as if he was nervous, which would be surprising given his personality.

You never thought you’d see the day when both you and Donghyuck were nervous to talk to each other.

“You don’t hate me or anything, right?”

You wished you knew the answer to that.

“What? No,” you replied, shaking your head. “Why would I hate you? We just grew apart, it’s not the end of the world. It was bound to happen.”

“Yeah, well,” he mumbled, looking off to the side. There was a pause in his sentence, then he cleared his throat again. “I’m in love with you.”

The whole room seemed to freeze over. You were utterly speechless.

“Pardon?”

“I love you. A lot. Like, love you.”

Letting your mind move faster than your mouth, you replied faster than you would’ve wanted to.

“No, you don’t.”

That seemed to stun him, as his eyes widened and his lips parted ever-so-slightly. You watched as hurt filled his expression, but you couldn’t help but stick with your response. He didn’t move to say anything else, so you stood up, stretching your arms into the air.

“Look, we’re friends and all, but you don’t love me, Hyuck. You can’t love someone when you barely know them.”

Saying that probably hurt you more than it hurt him, but you stood by it nonetheless. “How do I barely know you?” he asked, standing and walking to block your path. “Did I imagine the past fifteen years or something? I practically know everything there is to know about you.”

“I’m not sixteen anymore, dude. We’re practically eighteen. The last time we talked frequently was the end of our first year,” you said, crossing your arms. “If you told me you were in love with me back then, I might’ve believed you. But, as things stand right now, you are not.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he replied, frowning at you. “A year isn’t going to change everything about you, [First]. I knew you were weird about this, but that’s—that’s just ridiculous. Don’t you realize how ridiculous that is?”

“It’s not very ridiculous when I spent three months wondering if we were even friends anymore. You realize it took you three months to even text me back? You ignored me, pretended like I wasn’t there, and now you expect me to think you’re in love with me? Give me a break.”

“Maybe I ignored you because I was trying to get rid of the part of me that was hopelessly in love with you because I didn’t want to destroy the decade and a half of friendship we’ve built. Ever consider that? I bet not because you’re always so goddamn unreasonable with this. God forbid anyone gets too close, huh? God forbid the one person who knows you best get too close.”

“I let you get close, Donghyuck,” you spat, narrowing your eyes. “I put my whole trust into you, my entire life was you. I was nothing if not yours, and then you threw me to the curb the moment you found better people. I’m not upset about that, it was bound to happen, but—”

“But what?”

“But you didn’t even apologize.”

He scoffed at that, crossing his arms. “Oh my god, it’s not like I told you to fuck off and never talk to me again, did I? Back then even looking at you was difficult, but, for the entire three months, my friends—who you so vehemently hate—kept telling me to reach out. I thought that if you disappeared, if I pretended like I never let my feelings go that far, things would go back to normal, but they didn’t. They still haven’t.”

“Why now, then? Why now, after I already decided that our friendship was pretty much over, huh? Why did you wait? Why not after those three months? Why not any time other than now?”

You side-stepped past him, opening the door to your bedroom and approaching the stairwell. You didn’t hear him follow, but you didn’t care to look back or check what he was doing. Instead, you ran downstairs, cringing when your mom’s face turned into one of confusion.

“Where’s Donghyuck, sweetie?”

“He’ll be down in a second,” you said nonchalantly, assuming your normal seat at the dinner table. “He just needed to deal with something quickly.”

The summer sun beamed down on you and your friends, and you lamented the lack of clouds, or really anything, blocking the sun. You sometimes wondered why you and your friends had decided to eat lunch at the very corner of the school’s soccer field, but, when the weird time between summer and autumn hit, you were sure to remember.

“It’s so god damn hot,” Sungchan panted, flopping onto the grass. The green seemed to cradle him in a way that made him look a bit majestic, even with your ugly uniforms. Chaewon hummed in agreement, shoveling noodles in her mouth; she, like you, always brought lunch from home.

“Where’s Gowon?” you asked, glancing down at him. He put a hand over his eyes, covering the painful gaze of the sun. “Did you see her in the lunch line?”

“She’s not walking over yet?” Sungchan asked, turning his head towards you. Chaewon waved away a fly that was getting too close to his uncovered lunch, mumbling something about how bugs in the summer were always so terrible. “She wasn’t too far behind me in line. I dunno where she would’ve gone.”

“Hm.”

You scanned the field, looking for any sign of her, but she was nowhere to be found. Chaewon turned her whole torso around to look as well, looking for any sign of her. “She might’ve gotten caught up with somebody. I’ll go check, just to make sure.”

She hopped up from the grass, running in the direction of the building’s doors. You looked at Sungchan, who didn’t move at all. “Dude, P.E. wrecked me today. I can barely feel my legs.”

“You wouldn’t have to take P.E. if you had taken a music course.”

“Oh, shut up, not everybody is as perfect and lovely as you, [First],” he huffed, pushing himself off the grass. You reached out and brushed a blade of grass out of his hair, but he didn’t thank you for the gesture at all. “You’re quiet today. Is everything good?”

No, my childhood best friend, who I didn’t think even liked me as a friend anymore, confessed his love for me, you thought.

“Yeah, just a bit tired. We had a big English test today.”

“Gross,” he replied, finally picking up his tray and beginning to eat. “Man, I can’t imagine having to start preparing for my CSATs. Do you ever go home?”

“I don’t study often. I’m gonna study enough to get into a college and get a degree.” You shrugged, taking a bite out of the fruit sandwich your mom had made you after you woke up incredibly late. Suddenly, in the distance, the doors to the school building burst open, revealing Chaewon, who was dragging Gowon behind her. Gowon barely had a steady handle on her lunch tray, keeping it balanced enough that it wouldn’t spill everywhere as they ran.

“Jesus,” Sungchan muttered, taking a bite of whatever they served for lunch that day.

Gowon and Chaewon made it to you both at record speeds, with Chaewon practically sliding into her previous sitting spot. “Dude,” she began, huffing and puffing from the running she did. Gowon practically crumbled onto the floor, taking three big swigs from her water bottle. “What in the world happened between you and Donghyuck?”

“What?”

“I found Gowon, like, surrounded by his little gang as he talked to her. She looked like she was going to faint, but he pretty clearly asked where you were,” she giggled, reaching out and slapping your shoulder. “So? What is it?”

“He told me he was in love with me yesterday.”

Chaewon practically shrieked with joy, to the point where it almost made you feel bad for the outcome of his stark leap. “And? And?”

“I told him that he didn’t love me and that he doesn’t know me very well anymore.”

Gowon choked on her water, covering her mouth and trying not to spit it all out. Instead, she just coughed to the side, barely able to swallow it all down. Sungchan stared at you in complete shock, and Chaewon’s excited face morphed into a sad and confused one.

“Excuse me?” Gowon breathed out. “You what? You, [First] [Last], known for your compassion and kindness, said what?”

“I mean, he doesn’t love me. He loves who he knew a year ago, when we were still attached at the hip and he still wore that stupid yellow bomber jacket that I bought him in middle school,” you sighed, taking another bite of the sandwich. “I’m not—I’m not the same, you know? I like different things, I do different things, and I hang out with different people. He’s not the same either. It wouldn’t…it just wouldn’t work.”

“Bullshit.” Sungchan laughed dryly, giving you a sour look. “You can’t just say that to someone confessing their love to you, no matter how well you know them. I mean, imagine if you worked up the courage to confess to someone and they immediately invalidated your feelings?”

“It’s not like I don’t know that my approach was bad, but it’s the truth. We just aren’t compatible as we are now.”

“But…but weren’t you two…? I mean don’t you still hang out?” Chaewon asked, frowning.

“When he can’t make it to his other friends, yes. Snow days, the flash flood yesterday, when we had that huge dry lightning storm and the power went out. I’m his backup entertainment, and, even when we do hang out, we usually just watch movies in silence or do our own things.”

“I agree with [First].” Gowon nodded, her voice hoarse from the coughing fit she just escaped. “She has a point. I mean, you guys remember what he was like first year…nothing like he is now, y’know?”

“But it was mean to do that,” Chaewon argued, crossing her arms. “You can’t just say stuff like that. You need to apologize, [First].”

“I’ll apologize when I feel like I need to. For now,” you paused, taking a final bite of your sandwich. “I am not going to talk to him about it.”

“[First], don’t be an asshole,” Sungchan replied.

“Oh, I’m the asshole? Shall I recount when he left me in the dust last year? Or when he forgot my birthday and skipped out on my birthday dinner, which both of his parents attended, because he was going to Incheon with Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno? Or when he blew me off every single time I tried to keep our friendship going?” you scoffed, turning towards him. Gowon, who’d been the first person to befriend you after you lost Donghyuck, kept quiet, but she placed a hand on your shoulder in support. “I don’t owe him anything for being a dick, and then deciding he wants to date me. It’s a miracle I even keep him around.”

Chaewon frowned, laying off, but Sungchan didn’t seem to like your answer. Instead, he picked up his tray, pushed himself off the ground, and began a tantrum-ish march to the school building. Nobody tried to stop him.

“I didn’t know,” Chaewon muttered, twiddling her thumbs. “Sorry.”

“No harm, no foul,” you hummed, packing up your lunch box. “Sungchan’ll get over himself.”

Once again, rain poured outside, trapping you and your classmates in your classroom while everyone waited for the principal to announce it was safe to leave. For the most part, it was quiet, with mostly everybody parked at their desk and studying or napping. You were watching some random Japanese drama from 2008, laying your head on a quasi-pillow (your bunched-up sweater) that rested on your desk.

Everyone was tired. Of course they were, as it was a Thursday, and nobody wanted to be at school past 4 pm on a Thursday.

The sound of the classroom door being thrown open seemed to grab everyone's attention. You glanced up, cringing when you saw who was invading your peaceful, little classroom. They instantly caused everyone (who was awake, that is) to start whispering back and forth as if the visitors were the president and his men.

You were lamenting the fact that the boy who sat in front of you wasn't at school today.

Donghyuck pulled the chair in front of you closer to your desk, taking a seat so that he’d be facing you rather than the chalkboard. You didn’t move, trying to focus on the subtitles of your new show. But, it seemed he wasn’t very deterred by your current activity, as he easily plucked your earbud from your ear.

Sighing, you paused your show, pushing yourself up from the uncomfortable position. Your back creaked as you did, causing a few sharp pains to travel up your spine.

“Did you need to bring your entire posse with you? you mumbled suppressing a yawn. He shrugged, leaning his elbow on your desk and putting his head in his hands.

“My birthday’s tomorrow,” he said, glancing down at your little setup before looking back up at you. “I’m having a party tonight, though. I’d like for you to come.”

Last year, you missed his birthday party, simply dropping off a gift with his mother before it began. You remember looking out your window, staring at the lights protruding from his house at the end of the street, the kids in the front yard, and the cars parked down the street. The neighborhood you lived in was a nice one—your house was one your mom inherited, which was the only reason you lived somewhere that nice—so houses were spread out to the point where he could get away with a party.

Plus, neither his mom nor his dad seemed to care what was happening. After you dropped the gift off, you watched them drive off together, and they didn’t seem to return until the next Sunday.

You remember thinking how much you would hate to go to a party like that.

“I’m not really into stuff like that,” you replied. “I’ll drop off your gift again and say hi, or something, but I’d rather not go to a party.”

“What if I said you could lock yourself in my room and hang out there the entire time?”

You scrunched your nose up, thinking about what your mom would do if she saw the party happening again while you lazed around in your bedroom. “No studying, no partying, just useless,” she’d tell you, pinching your cheek. “At least do something.”

“I guess,” you mumbled, looking around to see everybody staring at you. In the doorway stood Huang Renjun and Zhong Chenle, both watching you converse a little too intently.

At your response, a warm smile blossomed on Donghyuck’s face. “Great. See you tonight.”

He pushed himself up from the chair, leaving it where it was rather than tucking it in. He shoved his hands into his pockets, pushing past Renjun and Chenle, who stayed and stared at you for a second more. Chenle said something, but you couldn’t hear what it was; after that, he walked off, Renjun following.

You laid your head back down, putting your earbud back in your ear, but you didn’t go to play your drama. Instead, you sat there, staring at the rain pour, slamming into the window faster than you’d ever seen it go.

You hoped he’d leave you alone after this. Getting over the loss of the person you spent nearly your whole childhood with would be difficult, but you’d muscle through it—you always did.

Chaewon and Gowon sat on your couch, watching you fail at wrapping the gift you’d prepared for Donghyuck. They were dressed casually for the event so that you didn’t feel out of place as you walked in and beelined for the upstairs.

“So, you’re…regifting him something?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, ripping tape out of the dispenser. “It’s a little keychain he got me two years ago, along with a ring I put on a chain. He likes necklaces…I think. It’ll be a good way to say, ‘let’s not see each other for a while,’ you know?”

You ignored the tugging at your heart and the way your throat seemed to close at the thought, focusing on how best to wrap the small box in a way that didn’t look ugly. Because of your intense focus, you were lost on the way Chaewon and Gowon looked at each other as if they somehow picked up on the way you were feeling.

“You’re sure there’s no way you could be in love with him too, right?” Chaewon suddenly asked, causing you to perk up. You furrowed your brows at that, your heart lurching in your chest at the question. It made you nervous.

“What? No.” You shook your head, placing a final piece of tape on the gift. You held it up and examined the poor wrapping job you did, frowning at it. For a temporary-last gift, it sucked. “Not a chance.”

“Should we go then? It’s 8, we’re already an hour late.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, standing up with the box. “Now or never, I guess. Have you heard from Sungchan?”

“He’s probably there already. Heard he’s friends with Zhong Chenle and never told us,” Gowon said. You looked at her, eyes widened.

“Really? I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah, well, now’s the time for learning, I guess,” she said. The three of you approached the door, slipping on shoes and putting on jackets. The moment you opened the door, you were hit with a blast of wet, hot air.

“I hate summer,” you mumbled, stepping outside. Your friends followed, and, together, you made the small trek to Donghyuck’s house. It was surrounded by cars and kids, and the sound of loud music accompanied by bright lighting filled the air. You were glad you didn’t live in a packed area, because, if you did, you were sure this would’ve gone a lot worse.

You pushed past all the already-drunk people outside, grabbing onto Chaewon’s hand for support. “This doesn’t look like a gift-giving party,” you whispered, to which Chaewon rolled her eyes, squeezing your hand.

“And you’re close to him, so you’re expected to get a gift.”

Gowon opened the door and, instantly, you were hit with the scent of alcohol and sweat, which wasn’t pleasant at all. Donghyuck’s house, having been renovated when you were kids, was the perfect location for a party like this one, with people roaming about and searching for something to do. The music drowned out anything you could hear, so you hoped Gowon would follow as you moved ahead, slipping past several people you knew (and, many people you didn’t).

The stairwell wasn’t far from the door, and you made it easily. Jaemin and Mark were lingering near it, seemingly making sure nobody tried to sneak up there and potentially steal something. You nodded your head at Jaemin the moment you made eye contact, but he didn’t step out of the way.

“I can take the gift,” he half-yelled, holding his hand out. Despite the volume of his voice, you could barely hear him and were a bit confused when he took the box out of your hands. You leaned closer to hear him, but you halfway wished you hadn’t. “Only you’re allowed up.”

You lurched back, looking at Chaewon and Gowon, who both nodded at you reassuringly. Chaewon released your hand, giving you a small smile before linking arms with Gowon. You sighed, running up the stairs as fast as you could. As promised, it was much quieter upstairs—as quiet as it could be given the surroundings—and much emptier. The upstairs looked just as you remembered it looking, with the only difference being a couple of newer pictures placed along the walls.

This felt like your childhood. A bit of nostalgia squeezed your heart as you walked down the hall, staring at pictures of the Lee family that you knew so well. Donghyuck’s parents were beautiful—unsurprising given how beautiful their son was—and that was made known by their wedding pictures, which sat framed at the edge of the hall.

You approached them, examining the bundles of photos they had put up. You remembered the several times you, as a small kid, told Donghyuck’s mother how you wanted to look just like her when she got married, with her gorgeous white gown and veil.

How ironic.

You turned the corner, approaching the final door in that section of the corridor. It was closed, and a small “do not enter!” sign was plastered on it. You blatantly ignored the directions, turning the knob and pushing inside.

His room looked different from the last time you were here.

It was darker, more mature, with more posters and less empty wall space. It looked like the teenage boy's room you’d see on a TV show, especially with the fancy computer and three monitors he had sitting on the desk. You shut the door behind you—it was kind of shocking how his room blocked out all the sound from downstairs—looking around at all he had up.

On his dresser were a few framed pictures, all of which were pictures of you two. The first one was one when you were little, two kids smiling on a playground with no worries in the world, dressed in matching sun and moon outfits. Then, there was a picture of you two at a class performance you had to do in second grade, dressed in tacky outfits that your parents had made together.

The third was a picture of you two in middle school, dressed in your uniforms roaming Lotte World, eating ice cream and laughing at whatever joke was shared between you two. You look back on that day fondly, remembering how much fun you’d had. That was where Donghyuck had gotten the keychain you were gifting back to him.

The final picture was one from your first year of high school. This one was much more robotic than the rest, both of you smiling for the picture and not just to smile. You stood far apart from each other, holding onto your school bags and looking mildly uncomfortable. Your hair was messy from a long day, and there were prevalent bags under Donghyuck’s eyes.

He looked unhappy, in a way. So did you.

Sighing, you approached his bed, taking a seat on the floor and leaning your back against it. You slid your phone from your jacket pocket, scrolling through various notifications you had. Most were from Chaewon, who was using her phone to have her and Gowon communicate with you.

“On an adventure to find a bathroom and lock ourselves insides,” read the first one, along with a couple of random emojis she tacked on.

“Sungchan is all up close and personal with some of Donghyuck’s posse. Who’d have thought they were friends when he’s such a loser lol.”

And, finally, a “Hiding in a non-crowded corner!! Only one bathroom was open, but we will survive by people watching!!”

You typed back a swift response, confirming you were in Donghyuck’s bedroom and feeling quite tired. If you had to guess, this night would end without you seeing Donghyuck at all, and you’d fall asleep on his bedroom floor, only to be woken up by Gowon and Chaewon, who’d snuck upstairs after everyone passed out drunk.

“Gowon here, and I think Donghyuck opened your gift. He doesn’t look pleased, I think. Storming towards the stairs. Fighting!”

Okay, so maybe you spoke too soon. You looked towards the door, wondering what he would have to say to you about it; maybe he’d reject it, giving it back to you and telling you to fuck off, or maybe he’d be reasonable about it, let you talk through things.

Considering the way the door opened, you assumed it to be the former.

Donghyuck practically slammed the door shut behind him, holding up the small white box that you’d put the ring-necklace and keychain in. He stared at you for a second, and you stared back, waiting for him to say something.

“What is this?”

You shrugged, looking at the box. “The sun keychain you got me a few years ago and—”

“The ring you liked to wear all the time in middle school. Yes, I know, I’m aware, but that’s not what I meant.”

You knew what he meant, but you didn’t want to. “Okay, then what did you mean?”

He narrowed his eyes, dropping to the floor in front of you. He stared at you, trying to gauge what exactly you were trying to accomplish by acting clueless. “Why are you giving it back?”

“Because I feel like we need to separate for a bit longer. Like, actually separate this time. Not the not-see-each-other-for-three-weeks routine anymore. A few months without being sun and moon, and just being two different people.”

He put the box down, crossing his legs. Donghyuck didn’t say anything, assuming the same hurt face he had when you told him he didn’t love you. “This is exactly why I never wanted to tell you,” he finally said, letting his head drop to the floor. “One chance your perfect bubble is disrupted and you’ll freak out and shut down.”

Your mouth dropped open, and you were a bit shocked at his response. You had nothing to say, nothing to defend yourself with other than the pitiful look you gave.

“But I’m going to say no to that, [First]. You can’t run every single time something doesn’t go your way. So we either figure this out right here and now, or I don’t think we’ll make it much farther as friends.”

You didn’t want to lose your friendship with him. He was the closest thing to you, the closest person to your secrets, the closest person to your happiness. You were okay with a break for a few months, maybe more, but you did not want to unfriend him for forever.

The way your heart hurt, the way your head spun, the way you found it hard to look him in the eyes and say “but we need this” was taking a toll on you. And, as you went through the motions, a little voice in your head began to say “Maybe you are in love with him, just a little bit. Maybe you have been for a while.”

“I’m sorry for ghosting you last year,” he continued, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I didn’t consider how you would feel and put myself first. I ejected you from a big change in my life, and I just assumed you’d be there to come back to after it was all said and done. You didn’t deserve it.”

You bit your lip in an attempt to keep your emotions squared off and invisible. Even hearing the apology made you want to fall apart, after waiting so long to hear anything of the sort. You remembered how lost you felt without him around, how hurt you felt when you sent text after text and yielded no response.

“Okay, I forgive you.”

It was short, but it got the point across without you bursting into tears at Lee Donghyuck actually apologizing to you. He took another deep breath, closing his hands into a fist.

“One more time, then. [First], I am in love with you.”

You sharply inhaled, looking down at the floor. “Okay. I could be, too. Maybe a little bit.”

It went silent between you, and you refused to look up from the ground. Gently, you reached out and began tracing little drawings on the floor, ones that you visualized in your mind. Saturn, the moon, the stars, the sun, you and Donghyuck, in constant orbit with each other, up in a boundless space you would never reach.

Suddenly, he got onto his knees, causing you to look up. Faster than you would’ve imagined, he shuffled over to you, encasing your face with his hands and pulling you into a soft yet heavy kiss. It left you stunned, but you didn’t seem to mind it that much.

Like the sun, Donghtuck was warm, from the way his hands managed to warm up your already burning cheeks or the way he practically emulated heat, as you felt from the close contact. He tasted like sour lemonade, perfect for a hot, summer day that had you trapped outside for the majority of the day. In a way, he was summer, carefree and bright, ready to ditch all responsibility and run off into the sunset.

When he pulled away from you, he seemed a bit embarrassed, sitting back on his feet and looking off to the side. “Sorry,” he mumbled, clearing his throat. “I didn’t ask if I could do that. Sorry.”

“I…didn’t mind too much,” you responded, looking down at the floor for the white box that held the keychain and the ring necklace. You opened it, picking up the chain and sliding the ring off it. You grabbed his hand, hoping it would at least fit on his pinky (which it did, thankfully). “Happy birthday.”

He looked down, a small scoff escaping his lips. “What, are you proposing? It hasn’t even been a minute, I mean, are you that obsessed with me?”

“Oh, yeah, For sure.” You rolled your eyes, dropping his hand so you could leave a small punch on his shoulder. “Let’s date, Lee Donghyuck.”

He repeated your idea with a high-pitched, mocking voice, and you could tell he was incredibly embarrassed. It made you giggle, and flick his forehead, to which he lurched back and gave you an incredulous look.

“Get over yourself.”

“If I do, will you take the keychain back?”

“Oh, shut up, loser.”

thank you for reading!

#★.ᐟ mars #fic: short #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #haechan #friends to lovers #childhood friends trope #academia #high school au #hurt/comfort

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