#makes me believe that maybe Soap's family are no longer around
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Soap soap soap soap soap soa-
(For the ask game :3)
ka-FREAKING-BOOMMM
hi hi :3
My first impression
woah he sure pouts a lot
My impression now
puppy...precious...[cradles photo and sobs] they'll never let me forget you
Favorite thing about that character
his voice....the growl- HHGHGH
Least favorite thing
this is hard...buuuut I guess I'll say the latest gas mask skin
there's a lot going on with the vest and shoulders like excuse me sir what are you packing
Favorite line/scene
too many from that one mission Alone in mw2....so I'll give 2
Ghost: “Narcos… they’ll take videos.” Soap: “I’ll give ‘em your email so they know where to send them…” Ghost: “I won’t watch ‘em… more than once anyway…" Soap: “Sick bastard…”
Soap: "away and bile yer heid!!" Ghost: "English, MacTavish" Soap: "let me translate, go fuck yourself" Ghost: "Much better"
Favorite interaction that character has with another
Alejandro: "I can't call Soap 'Johnny'...." Soap: "Don't. Only Ghost can pull that off."
*giggling kicking my feet*
A character that I wish that character would interact with more
I think Soap would hang out well with Alejandro and Rudy! so them for sure
Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character
Johnny Cage....(idk why either)
A headcanon about that character
actually, I think between Ghost and Soap, Soap's the kind of guy who likes salty, savoury things instead of a sweet tooth(to which I hc Ghost as) but he might be a lil weak for a good ol milk butter round candy
another is he has high alcohol tolerance, but he likes to act like he's drunk as hell just for fun
A song that reminds of that character
you know what? this probably ties in with the hc and the next question but this song...I just feel like Soap knows what it's like to be lonely
An unpopular opinion about that character
I...actually think. that Soap doesn't have a big family that many others has hc him to have.
I like to think he has a good family yes, ma and pa holds a special place in his heart, but no siblings and nothing.
No close relatives after he joined the army.
Favorite picture (tw: blood)
#hear me out on the song and unpopular opinion#note this is just my general opinion and ofc it doesnt apply to everyone bUT#some part of me like to think that Soap's just as deadly if not the most in the group with his charming personality and wits#he gets along well with almost everyone#able to blend into conversations and talk to others#but i dont think he'd ever felt truly connected unless its with people he'd come to trust#the most outgoing and chirpy person is often the loneliest at heart (again not saying everyone would be like that but yeah)#the fact in mw3 they spread his ashes to the sea instead of returning it to the next kin in line#makes me believe that maybe Soap's family are no longer around#but i do love hc of him in big families dont get me wrong#I just like this idea more than others#he has a golden heart and wears it on his sleeves#but not all of them#anyways#ask game#ask response#thanks for the ask <3
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Our Little Secret
kai parker x reader
summary: you should've known wearing a short little skirt would rile him up. but then again... maybe you did it on purpose. (80s!kai) (step-brother!kai)
tags: teasing, possessiveness, praise kink, degradation, dirty talk, oral sex, blowjobs, vaginal sex
word count: 4.2k
“You look cute,” a male voice comes up behind you, “where are you going?”
You turn abruptly to see Kai, watching you from the other side of the kitchen. His gaze travels up and down your body, but he’s clearly staring at your ass. It almost makes you drop the soapy dish you’re holding.
“Um, thank you.”
“Where are you going?” He repeats, eyes darkening.
“Nowhere.”
“Y/N-”
“I’m serious! I’m not going anywhere, I just felt like looking cute. Trust me, Kai. Do you ever see me leave this house?”
His jaw relaxes, knowing you’re telling the truth. “So you just felt like romping around in a short little skirt? Dad won’t be happy if he sees you in it.”
“Well Dad’s not here right now,” you point out. This is also true. Joshua was out for the weekend on coven duties. He won’t be back until late Monday.
“Mom won’t like it, either.”
“She’s never minded me wearing what I want. As long as it’s appropriate to wear around the kids.”
“She scolded Jo just last week for wearing jeans that were too tight.”
“Well this is a skirt.”
“I can see the bottom of your ass, Y/N.”
“Why are you looking at my ass, Kai?”
“Because you have it on display for me to see.”
“I do not! I’m just doing dishes and minding my own business!”
“You would get so busted for that skirt if Mom saw. Joey would be staring, too. You know he has a crush on you.”
“Are you jealous?”
“No.”
“Then stop talking about my skirt and just… go away.”
“I came to get a snack.”
“Then get it and go.”
Kai crosses the kitchen towards the fridge, and you finally think he’s dropped it. With his back turned, you bend down to put the plate in the dishwasher, then continue soaping up another. Little do you know that Kai’s watching you through the metal reflection of the fridge door. He licks his lips when your ass is on full display.
“Y’know this is my house,” he suddenly challenges.
You whip around to face him, annoyed. “So?!”
“You can’t boss me around in my own house.”
“Do you pay the bills? Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“I was here first. And I’m older than you.”
“Do you want an award?”
He eyes your figure again. “Are you offering?”
“Ugh! Stop it!”
“Oh don’t act like you don’t like the attention. Why else would you wear that pretty little piece in an empty house?”
“I didn’t feel like putting on pants.”
He chuckles. “Whatever you say, Y/N.”
You groan and turn back around, desperate to avoid his gaze any longer.
Kai’s not completely wrong, but you’re not exactly lying, either. Yes, it’s true that you didn’t want to put on pants. Yes… it’s also true that you wanted to gain attention from your step-brother. There, you finally said it. You do like his attention. It’s his fault, though. He’s always flirting with you, regardless if the rest of the family is home or not.
His eyes are always on you, at your back or front, whichever he can get. Countless times you’ve turned suddenly and caught him staring. A handful of those times, his own mother has tried to get his attention but struggled to pull it away from your breasts. His mother, of course, is none the wiser and assumes he’s daydreaming, but you know he’s not. He’ll smirk at you after, if he’s caught, and won’t let her believe anything scandalous was happening instead.
Kai’s also gotten physical with you more times than you can remember. He’ll slide past you in a crowded kitchen, hands in the air as he’s banned from touching anyone, but his groin will brush your ass as he slinks across the room. Twice, you’ve felt the outline of his cock in his jeans when he did it. Both times, your face got so hot you needed to step away from the situation.
He also has a habit of bumping into you. If you’re doing dishes or putting something away, he’ll suddenly appear, suddenly needing to do the same thing. Your shoulders or hips meet from his unexpected presence, and then he apologizes with a voice that does things to you. Either his morning voice, slightly rough, or his soft, midday voice, or the one heard at night, when he’s all talked out and dehydrated. Sometimes he’s close enough you can smell coffee on his breath, or mint, or even gin. Sometimes he lets his hand wander to the small of your back, or further down by your waist. When his family enters the room, he rips himself away from you. The bubbling warmth between you quickly goes cold and leaves you hungry.
“Y/N… Y/N… hello?!”
You blink twice, realizing Kai’s right next to you. A tupperware is in one hand, while the other waves in front of your face. “What?!”
“Jeez! Just asking if you wanted some of this.”
“What is it?”
“Leftover cake from Sarah’s birthday party. It’s chocolate,” he says the last part in a sing-songy voice.
“I know, I was there.”
“Do you want any?”
“No.”
“Awh, come on, Y/N… you know you do.”
“Fine. I’ll have a bite if you’re heating it up.”
His face breaks out into a grin and he mutters a celebratory, “yes!” to himself, then spins around to the microwave.
“Put it all on a plate and gimme the dish. What’s one more dish to wash?”
“Okay. And thanks for doing that.”
“Mhm.”
He leaves you alone while it warms. You turn slightly, wondering why he’s quiet, but see him on the other counter pouring two glasses of milk. You’re quick to face the sink again, not wanting him to see you looking at him.
“So why cake?” You question as the two-minute timer beeps. “Don’t you usually eat pretty healthy?”
Kai shrugs. “Usually. But one dessert was denied, so I was craving something to fill its place.”
“What the fuck was- oh.”
“I mean, I’ll have two if you change your mind.”
You look down, avoiding his stupid smirk.
“Kidding. Have a bite.”
Two minutes is the max time you get to eat in silence. After that, Kai swallows a big bite then looks back at you.
“In all seriousness, you do look really pretty.”
“Thank you,” you say, unsure how to take the compliment.
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“What?”
“I’m just asking in case I have to kick someone’s ass! For like, brotherly reasons.”
You roll your eyes. “No, I do not have a boyfriend.”
“Good.” He’s then quick to follow with, “I mean, like, cause Dad would kick his ass, too. That, or turn him straight to dust. Poof! Did you know that Josette’s boyfriend had to go through three weeks of questioning just to take her on one date?”
“Yes, Kai, I was there. I’ve been living here for three years.”
“Right.”
“Did you see the time my brother got his ass beat for bugging me when I tried to eat?” You counter, challenging him.
“Joey?”
“No, dumbass, you.”
“Oh. Wait-” he puts his fork down as he realizes. “Sorry.”
You meant it as a joke, but his frown tells you he didn’t catch that.
“Hey, I’m gonna go back upstairs. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Wait, Kai!” He doesn’t stop. “Kai!” You try again, reaching out to grab his arm.
He freezes, not used to such direct contact.
“I was joking, Kai,” you look in his eyes to say. “I promise. I really do like your company.”
“No you don’t, I bother you as much as I bother Jo.”
Your grip tightens. “No, you don’t. Kai, I’m serious. And I’m sorry. It went too far.”
Finally, he turns to you. “Honest?”
“Honest.”
“Pinky swear?”
You snort, then realize he’s serious. “Pinky swear.”
He grins at this, then slowly returns to the side opposite you, where he had been only seconds ago.
“As a matter of fact,” you continue, “you don’t bug me at all.”
He chuckles and looks at the floor. “I’m sure I bug you a little.”
“No, you really don’t.”
“What about earlier? That wasn’t annoying?”
Now or never to confess. You pick the former.
“Oh, no. I certainly do enjoy your attention. Even when it's on my ass.”
“Oh, do you now?”
You don’t answer. Instead, you bring your chocolatey fork up to your lips, licking the whole length, and sticking your tongue out to him. You keep eye contact with him, watching his cheeks flush bright red.
“Y/N…”
“What? We’re all alone… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t partially wear this little skirt for you.”
His adam’s apple bobs in his throat.
“Awh, what happened to the bold Kai I know that will rub his morning wood against my back in the middle of a crowded kitchen? Is he shy?” You tease.
“Y/N, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into…”
“Oh, I think I do. Come on… I bet an afternoon hard is just as satisfying. Oh, but maybe we should wait a couple hours, for when I can literally taste the gin off your breath. Aw, nah, because then the window of opportunity will close. Jo will be home, and all those kids, and you’ll have to see your little brother blush at me without the pride of having owned me earlier in the day.”
“Y/N,” his voice is raspy. His hand ghosts over his pants, and when you follow the movement with your eyes, you see he’s rock hard.
“Come on, Kai… You want to be a good stepbrother and beat up my nonexistent boyfriend? Well be a better one and fuck me right now.”
He only hesitates for a second more before rushing forward, pressing your back up against the sink, and kissing you roughly. He grips the countertop with one hand, your waist with the other. The plate of chocolate crumbs clatters into the sink, piercing your ears, but neither of you care. Your hands find his cheeks to get a grip. You hold them gently, but they’re burning in your hands. He’s a good kisser, despite having no experience. Before you know it, you’re both out of breath.
“Kai,” you try to say his name, but it comes out in more of a moan. The two of you are separated, panting, and staring at the other.
“You okay?”
“Perfect.”
He smiles, then starts to trail kisses down your neck. Your hands find his hair and pull at the roots.
“Jump up,” he mutters. You do, and he catches your hips. He carries you to the other side of the counter, then sits you up on it. With gentle movements, he leans your back against the cabinet door. Had he sat you up by the sink, you would’ve had no support for your back. You give him a sloppy kiss as a thank you.
Kai smiles at you, but then instead of going back to your neck, he crouches just a little on his knees. As soon as you realize what he’s doing, you let out an involuntary whine. Your hands bunch up your skirt and he smirks.
“Smart girl.” He wastes no time pulling down your thong, then stuffing it in his back pocket. The cold air only hits your core for a second before his fingers find your clit, rubbing gently.
“Ohh, Kai,” you whine.
“That’s it, princess. Keep whining for me.”
You let out another, this time, between sealed lips.
Kai puts a finger in you without warning. “Louder, baby.”
“Kai, I can’t.”
“Oh, yes you can. No one else is here.” He puts in another.
You can feel the soft pads of his fingers on your walls. “More,” you whimper.
“Good girl,” he praises.
You squeeze your eyes shut as wetness gushes from your body. You’ve always had a praise kink, and he’s about to find out.
“You like that?”
You nod quickly.
“Well keep it up. Keep making those sweet little sounds for me.”
You nod again, eyes still closed. With your eyes shut, though, you have no warning when his nose is suddenly grazing your clit. As soon as it touches, though, you let out a loud moan, almost pornographic.
“Good girl,” he says again, hot breath up against your core. Then, it’s his tongue making contact with your clit. He teases the nub with the tip, then slides it between your folds.
Your hands dig in his hair and moans fly out of your mouth. “Kai!”
He doesn’t answer this time. All his focus is on you. Two fingers still explore inside, while his tongue laps up your wetness. Obscene slurping sounds fill the room, mixed with your own cries. Kai can’t even catch all of it with his tongue - some drips to the title floor with a loud splat, and you can feel the curvature of his lips against your skin.
The boy is an expert, despite probably being a virgin. He knows just how to flick his tongue; just how to curl his fingers.
“Kai, I’m coming,” you cry out, gripping the countertops. Your hands are sweaty and you almost slip. In an instant, his hands catch you, even the one that had been inside your heat. “No, don’t stop what you’re doing,” you mutter, eyes rolling in the back of your head.
“Sorry, princess,” he replies, putting them back. He then finds the pace he had before, and works to bring you back to the edge.
Moments later, your orgasm is the most powerful you’ve ever had. No other man, nor your own fingers have ever done justice to what he could do with his tongue. He sucks and finger-fucks you throughout your orgasm, paying no mind to the way you squeeze your legs around his head, nor the way you begin to ride his face as you come. Kai doesn’t let up until your legs are shaking, and your heavy moans become little whimpers. Only then, does he stand back up and smile at you.
“You okay?”
“Fuck, Kai.”
“Too much?”
“No. Never.”
“Too much for round two?”
“What?” You mutter, out of breath.
“We can stop if you’re tired.”
You fight to catch your breath, and in that time, happen to glance down. Your eyes go wide as you notice he’s pulled out his cock. Stiff as a board, red, and oozing with pre-cum, it rests in his hand.
“No, no stopping. Just… give me a minute.”
“We don’t have to, princess.”
“No, I want it. I want you.”
You then make an attempt to jump down from the countertop, but your arms are still shaky. He catches you in an instant, an eyebrow raised.
“Where are you going, little peach?”
A tired whimper escapes the back of your throat as you open your mouth to speak. Despite the grip he still has on both your arms, you manage to sink down to your knees. Halfway down, Kai realizes what’s happening and lets go.
“Aw, does my little bunny want to suck her stepbrother’s cock?” Kai takes himself in his hands and levels with your face. “You’re a good girl, you know that?”
You blush, and fight the urge to turn your face away.
“Eyes on me,” he says, seemingly knowing your thoughts.
You obey him, eyes bouncing between his face and his length. Your heart speeds up at the prospect of taking it. Of feeling it heavy in your mouth; feeling it hit the back of your throat.
“Can I?”
“Go ahead, princess.”
Your hands join his. Your eyes roll back in your head at how good it feels. When you look up to him, he nods, and you dart your tongue out to taste the pre-cum leaking from the tip. It’s thick, and salty, and if that’s just your first taste, you know you need to start working for more. You lick the head, swirling your tongue in circles. Your lips suck the first few inches.
“No more teasing.” He tries to be stern, but it comes out in a moan.
You then put a hand on his thigh for a better grip. The jeans underneath your skin are uncomfortable.
“Off,” you mutter, hands flying to his belt.
“Hm? Oh.”
But you’re faster than Kai. Before he can give you any help, you’re unbuckling the metal and peeling his pants down his legs. You’re sure to be careful at his cock, though, pulling it back through the zipper hole, then letting it free.
Kai steps out from the pool of his pants. “Better for you now?”
“Mhm,” you mumble, lips pressed on his length. The action sends vibrations all over and he can’t help but moan again.
Your hand on his thigh squeezes his skin enough that it’ll bruise under your fingernails. Kai only has a second to concentrate on this, though, because in the next second, you’re licking a stripe from his balls to his head. Your tongue is dense against a prominent vein, earning another sound from him. Kai’s hands dig into your hair. He fights the urge to buck his hips into your mouth.
“Y/N,” he warns. If you don’t stop teasing now, he’ll do just that.
Luckily, you catch onto his need. Your lips curl around his head, tongue flat, and you begin to move up and down on his length. You start slow, but as he gets wetter, your lips glide better. The hand holding him no longer has a use, the first time you take him all the way. It slips further back to tug on his balls, while his tip hits the back of your throat repeatedly.
Kai keeps his hands on you, buried in your hair, scratching your scalp. Profanities tumble from his lips; words that if his dad were to hear, he’d be beat for days. You smirk against his cock, knowing he can feel your lips curving.
“You’re a naughty little thing, peach. You like that?”
You respond by not losing pace, not slowing down for a second.
“Mhm,” he confirms, “what a good little slut you are. Taking her brother’s cock so well. Tell me, princess, is this something you think about at night? How many times have you touched yourself to the thought of this happening?”
Again, you don’t answer.
“One? Two? Three? More?”
Your hand on his balls travels up to squeeze his ass. The skin is soft between your fingers, and you quickly put your other hand on his other cheek.
“I’ll take that as more than three times,” he chuckles.
You pinch his cheek unexpectedly, making him jolt. His reaction makes you giggle. When you look up to see his reaction, there’s a smile on his face, too.
“You look beautiful on your knees for me,” he praises. But then his hands find your face and he slowly eases you off his cock. “So, so beautiful. But I’m getting close and I need to be inside you.”
You nod, wanting the same.
Kai then grabs you from under your armpits, helping you to your feet. When you’re stable, he hoists you back onto the countertop. Not a moment later, he’s kissing your lips, sore, and red from sucking. Then, at the same time that he hitches your skirt back up your thighs, he presses kisses all around your face. You giggle, his lips tingling your skin, and wrap your arms around his neck.
“Are you ready?” You shake your head ‘yes’. “Need a minute?” You shake it ‘no’. “Okay. Tell me if you need me to stop.”
“Okay.”
Kai holds your back steady. His cock is in his other, glistening with your spit; teased, and in need of release. He pushes into you slowly, letting you adjust. He keeps an eye on your face, watching for signs; hoping for pleasure, prepared for pain. Your eyes flutter as he passes your folds. Your mouth hangs open, spit dribbles from your bottom lip. The pair of you moan at once, both relishing in the feeling of his cock inside you. He smiles at the simultaneous sound of pleasure.
“Are you doing okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Words, please, princess.”
“Yes, Kai,” you manage.
“There you go. Good girl.”
“Go faster.”
“Already? Alright. Gotta give my good little slut what she wants.”
You duck your head in embarrassment. The way he switches between praise and degradation does something to you that you can’t explain. Your core is so sopping wet that he slides in and out painlessly. He pulls out nearly all the way, then slams back into you hurriedly.
“Ah, ah, eyes on me. I want to look into your pretty little eyes while I ruin you.”
You whine at his words and tighten your arms around his neck.
“Perfect. Keep making those sounds, Y/N. You know the drill by now.”
Kai finds a pace that suits you both. Sweat drips from his forehead and his mouth hangs open, out of breath, but he isn’t slowing down. You’re grateful that he’s holding your back, otherwise you would’ve fallen by now.
“Kai!” You cry, hooking your legs around his waist to bring him even closer. He groans, and you decide to feed into that dirty talk he seems to like. “You fuck me so well. You’re a perfect fit for my tight cunt - oh!”
As expected, he loves it. “You bet I am, princess. Have you ever had anyone else fuck you this well?”
“No! You know just what I need.”
“Not even that boy you went to prom with last year? I heard you telling Jo about your little after-party with him.”
“I just imagined he was you, Kai,” you admit. “And any hookup since, I just pretend it’s you fucking me into oblivion.”
Fire burns in his eyes. A possessiveness that tells you all you need to know - he owns you now. You’re his girl. There will be no more pretending, because he’ll be the only one fucking you.
Kai continues to pound into you, but he’s getting sloppier by the second. He’s close, and you are, too.
“I’m gonna come, Kai,” you pant, running a hand through his hair. It’s wet with his own sweat, and when you push it up, some of the strands stay.
“Do it. Come for me. I’m close behind you.”
Permission granted, you orgasm a second time. Your body shakes and moans tumble from your lips. His name is mixed in with them; you chant it over and over like a prayer.
“I don’t want to come in you, baby,” he manages to say. “Where should I-?”
You lift your shirt up over your head before he can finish his sentence. Kai’s eyes immediately go to your breasts, confined within your bra, but pushed up from the underwire. In the same moment he pulls out, you unclasp the hook on your back. Your tits bounce out from their cage just to be pelted with cum a moment later. You moan again, pleasured by the warmth of his seed on your body.
Kai’s hands fall to the countertop as he tries to keep himself upright. The sounds falling from his lips are obscene, and beautiful, and you love every one of them. His eyes roll before looking into yours. Both of you take a minute to recover.
“Your tits,” he finally says, still catching his breath, “are beautiful. Should’ve taken that bra off a long time ago.”
“There’s always a next time,” you suggest, hoping to see that glint in his eye.
The words take a moment to register in his brain. When he looks back up at you, though, you see it. The possessiveness; the mischievousness. You’ll never belong to another man again.
“Definitely a next time,” he repeats.
Satisfied with the answer, you feel a small tension in your jaw relax. You look down at your breasts, sticky with drying cum, and swipe a bit of the load on your finger. Kai watches you suck it off, then go back for more. Once your chest is clear, you smack your lips.
“You’re crazy, Y/N,” he leans forward and nips one of your tits. You giggle, then cover your front with your hands. Kai quickly grabs your hands, then sucks on the other tit. “That’s why I like you. Part of it, at least.” He drops your hands and looks you in the eye, completely serious.
“I like you, too, Kai.”
He helps you off the counter in his next stride. You’re smoothing out your skirt, and he pulls up his pants, when he suddenly asks, “was what you said true?”
“When?”
“About the prom. And the hookups. Do you really imagine me?”
“It’s the only way I can get off.”
His face breaks out in a stupidly happy grin. “Does Jo know?”
You snort. “I wish. But of course not. It’s my little secret.”
“Well now this is our little secret,” he points a finger between the two of you.
“That it is. And I just happen to be amazing at keeping secrets.” You throw him a wink, and then the two of you spend the rest of the afternoon talking, with the occasional break for a make-out session.
#kai parker x reader#malachai parker x reader#kai parker#tvd fanfiction#kai parker smut#80s!kai#step-brother!kai
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Pregnant brat reader here with a sfw req this time with the same cod men from before bc that was scrumptious
The men are in the nursery, cradling their newborn to soothe them. Reader walks behind them, kissing their cheek (or wherever she can reach) and she whispers “I just fell in love with you all over again.”
Can you tell I have severe baby fever atm
Oh its ok I get baby fever too. If I wasn’t still too young and trying to get a degree first, oh boy. I also get it every time I look at Neil Ellice’s face (Soap’s va/reference).
Lowkey you’re making me fall more in love with these boys, hope this is all you hoped for my loving anon.
To all my readers and anons- Keep requesting this account is my hobby LMAO
Price
Price is already softly crying but now you’ve made this man want to sob. He puts the baby down since it’s late, poor thing basically just got cleared to go home.
He kneels by the crib, finger still in the baby’s grasp as it sleeps and Price is just done for. He’s doing everything possible not to wake this baby. He’s so grateful he got this chance, and he’s not going to waste it.
Now Price is going to need soothing because his heart can’t take this moment. His hand is over his mouth to help him choke down sobs. Just you and him and now the kid he always dreamed of? He’s going to be the best dad and there’s nothing that can stop him.
Soap
It’s crazy how forgetting to put on a condom once can change your whole life.
He immediately plants a kiss back on your head, telling you to go get rest. He’s going to spend the first months of this baby’s life sleeping in the room with it. The faintest cry or struggle has him up. He’s already got it all planned.
Never going to make this life feel like an accident, no this child is an accomplishment of good sex and a wonderful choice to keep it. Maybe it wasn’t an accident after all, maybe it was meant to be.
He mumbles all kinds of thanks to the universe. He’s already named Simon and the rest of the 141 the godfathers, he couldn’t stop making mafia jokes. But now he has no jokes or witty comments, just love for his wife and his baby.
Ghost
Simon is scared shitless.
He lost his last family, he can’t lose this one too. He’s already updated the house’s security. But maybe he should upgrade it more. There’s so much more he can do, he can feel his heart rate rising.
He mumbled endless promises of safety. You have to remind him the live in the moment, that those are all things that he can do tomorrow.
Thats when he starts to get emotional. You can see it in how he squints before he pulled off his baklava.
This is one of two days that’s proven Simon Riley still exists somewhere in Ghost. This proves that Simon Riley didn’t die. This proves what Price told you when you married him, that Ghost was a fortress built to protect Simon.
Gaz
He’s been crying since the baby was born. It’s not sobs but to him this child is the ultimate testimony of your love. Of your marriage even. He still doesn’t believe it. His world now revolves around this baby.
He still doesn’t believe its his child. Sure it looks like him but would an angel like you truly grace him with this? After all the terrible things he’s done and seen in the midst of battle?
He plants a kiss right back, running his thumb over the cheek of the baby. He knows he has to put it to bed but can't he hold his kid a little longer?
He may just stay here, just for one night. Just with his kid. He has so many stories to tell. He has to introduce the baby to his team and his family.
He knows he has to wait, but he cant help it.
Konig
He still doesn’t believe it. His anxiety tells him it’s a trap set by the enemy, that he couldn’t be loved, that a woman wouldn’t want to have his offspring.
But that all melts away when he turns to see you. He’s holding a baby he was surprised your body could push out, he knows this child is his without a doubt because of its sheer size and weight.
He places fluttering kisses all over your face.
He mentions keeping the baby in your shared room, just so he can keep an eye on it he swears. Oh he promises it won’t disturb you he swears.
It wasn’t even an option to tell him no, he was already carrying the baby in on arm with a secure hold and the crib in another. He hasn’t taken his eyes off your baby for even a second and getting him to sleep will be another struggle.
Krueger
Sebastian isn’t crying, you’re crying. What do you mean there’s tears coming down his face? No, that's sweat, it’s really warm.
He never needed you to tell him you loved him at the start, but when you started to he realized his heart wasn’t made of stone after all.
Now he’s holding this little creature thats half you and half him and he’s just breaking down.
This is a second chance at life for him and he swears he’s going to do better than he started off with.
In your eyes, this murderer looks like an angel with the light seeping softly through the windows against him as he holds your sweet baby.
For the first time in a long time, he prays. He prays to not mess up and for protection for his family. Its soft, under his breath and you would barely hear it, but he prays.
Keegan
When the baby was born the whole team of ghosts showed up. It was a moment of pride.
He turns to kiss your lips right back as he walks over to the rocking chair. Oh he could get the baby a little mask and armor. Could be a mini ghost.
The team fell straight in love but none could love this baby more than Keegan.
And how he looks at you? Its like you hung the stars… which you did help him do, there’s lots of stars hanging from the nursery ceiling, but you gave him a baby. He would trade the sun for his little family, unafraid of turning nocturnal if it meant keeping this moment.
He mumbled about this meaning worth all the fighting. Promises to always come home falling from his mouth so easily.
Edit: im dropping this incase you havent seen it tol
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
#cod x reader#call of duty#captain price#captain john price x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#soap mactavish#simon ghost x reader#simon riley#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#konig x reader#konig call of duty#sebastian krueger x reader#cod krueger#keegan russ x reader#keegan p russ
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COD monster men
Requested: Yes. By me. I requested this cause I wanted it.
Warnings: spice, angst, blood, some fluff, Alejandro watches you sleep
A/N:
Ghost - Vampire
For Ghost, it’s all too easy to forget what he is until he’s in the heat of battle, blood on his clothes, stroking that ever present hunger that burns inside of him every second of every day. He’s afraid to be around anyone right than, his hands shaking as he licks the blood off of his gloves in whatever dark corner he can find, far away from prying eyes. He’s so so hungry, so desperate for it that he accidentally bites through his gloves, drawing blood from his own skin. It’s never good, makes his belly twist and turn til he vomits it all back up. Sometimes he’s so desperate, so hungry, that he bites himself on purpose, puking be damned. That’s nothing compared to the pain of a stomach so empty that he feels like he’s going to die, a feeling he’s felt all too much in his life, even when he was human.
And then he sees you, waddling around in army gear, approaching him cautiously, a medkit in your hands. You tell him how you’re a medic, how you need to evaluate him for injuries.
He tries so hard to get you to just buzz off but you insist on staying, so he reluctantly lets you sterilize his fingers despite knowing that they’d just be healed within the hour. But there was something soothing about the satisfied look on your face when you were done, his fingers taped up oh so carefully. He looks at them for a moment, trying to remember the last time anyone had showed him such concern and gentleness. Probably…..yes, it was probably Tommy and His Mother, from so many years ago. The 1950’s, he believes.
He looks at you, not noticing as you get fidgety the longer he stares. He…..he likes it. Your care, your worry, your gentleness. It overpowers the hunger that begs him to rip your throat out, to bathe himself in the blood that would gush from you. To drink himself so full of you that maybe he could have those things, be those things. Maybe it would soften up his insides and he could really feel things for once.
Please, make him feel something.
Soap - Selkie
The first time Soap lets you touch his seal skin, he almost has a panic attack. Years of generational trauma, of the fear of a human touching and stealing their skin, of stealing them away from friends and family, raping and abusing them. Everything in him is yelling to yank his skin back from you, to hide it far far away from your eyes. But he doesn’t. He knows you wouldn’t do that. Sweet sweet you who is so gently petting at the snout of his skin, a look of wonder on your face.
And despite the panic that he’s fighting, he decides that he likes the sight of his skin wrapped around you, almost like you’re a selkie yourself. He knows he can trust his skin around you, because you would never hurt him. Never hide it from him or tether him to the land when he wants to be in the sea. Knows you won’t commit the atrocities that many people before you have commited.
He likes the sight of you holding his skin, entrusting all of himself with you.
And, as you pull out the small black box that he hid in the folds of his fur, he hopes that you’ll entrust him with all of you as well.
König - Werewolf
König couldn’t remember most of what his first change was like, only the pain. Blinding mind numbing pain as bones broke and healed, taking on new shapes, stretching his skin and growing hair, more hair than a Sasquatch. His Oma had to explain it to him when he woke up like that one morning, mid way into his transformation, screaming and crying, praying for death because surely that would be better than this pain. His Oma shushes him, cradles him even when he begged her to go away, her warm hands on his oversensitive skin only making everything worse, driving him even further into overstimulation.
And it was the same with you now, crying as you held him through his transformation, pawing at you, trying so hard not to let his claws sink into you and rip you to shreds just to distract himself from the pain. You were so sweet to him, cooing in his ears, rubbing your hands over his fur, trying to help him. And when he looked at you in the finishing stage of his change, you looked like an Angel sent from heaven. Something otherworldly, beautiful and strong, having pity on the animal he is.
And he knew he never wanted to let you go. Never ever again. His angel.
Alejandro - Incubus
Alejandro sighs as he crouches over your pliant body, gently caressing your cheeks with big rough hands. He had waited so long to get you like this, peacefully sleeping away as he invaded your mind, showing you the most deliciously sinful images of the two of you together. Twisting and whining and crying beneath him, or even above him in a few cases. And oh, the sexual energy that started floating off of you was the best he’d ever had, only growing sweeter the longer he tormented your sleeping brain. It was such a tease, not just to you either. He had to watch you crying out under him, wanting to touch you so badly that it hurt. But he wanted your permission. Wanted you to willingly let him in so he could wreck you for anyone else. Destroy you so beautifully that you could never be put back together the way you used to be.
And when your beautiful eyes opened up, looking at him so cutely in your sleepy pleasure drunk haze, he knew that he too would never be able to go back. That you’d ruined him for anyone else, made him addicted to you and you alone. Nobody else would ever compare.
All he wants now is you. So please, let him have you.
#cod#call of duty#mwii#mw2#simon ghost riley#Simon ghost riley x reader#Simon riley#simon riley x reader#john soap mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#john mactavish#john mactavish x reader#König#König x reader#Alejandro Vargas#Alejandro vargas x reader#Cod monster au
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Big Soldier, Little Soldier
Summary: Everything that John has worked for to catch Makarov led to Soap in critical condition in the hospital fighting for his life and his own wife in the brink of losing her sanity after a month long kidnaping at the hands of the enemy. He failed his team but nothing hurts more than to realize that he failed his family with you as the collateral damage of it all. Character: John Price x F!Reader (Lt. Rookie) Word Count: 3,334 Chapter Warnings: Mention of torture and gore. Mention of death and decay. Allusion to sexual assault. Mention of trauma. Major Angst with slight comfort. Mention of injuries both physically and mentally. Minor Character deaths. PTSD. Trauma induce. Ideas:
"Do you want me to hold you closer?"
"Is this okay?"
"Tell me to stop and we stop. I don't care what's happening. All I care about is you."
"Will you sit with me?"
requested by @azkza "anything but i love when it's become angst😙"
Song Inspo: Abbey & I Don't Smoke
Masterlist ||Series Masterlist || 500 Followers Celebration
The damp, cold air of the room presses against your shivering skin, seeping through your clothes and chilling you to the bones. The harsh fluorescent light above flickers intermittently, casting eerie shadows across the cracked concrete walls. Your wrist burn from the coarse rope binding them to the back of the chair, each knot a reminder of your powerlessness. Every breath you take was a struggle, each inhale bringing a fresh wave of pain to your bruised ribs. You try to ignore the coppery taste of blood in your mouth, the result of Makarov’s latest session to get you to admit the truth of your team’s plan.
“Tell me, Lieutenant.” His voice was low and taunting and continued to echo your mind. “What is your husband’s plan?” The sneer in his eyes were unforgettable, each word dripped with cruel intent.
You’ve managed to resist so far, clinging to the scraps of loyalty, training, and the love instilled in you. But as the day’s drags on, your resolve begins to waver. You were uncertain how much more you can truly endure.
The door slams shut behind Makarov as he leaves you alone in the suffocating silence. The dim light buzzes above, a constant, grating noise that grates on your frayed nerves. The solitude of the room is numbing, the silence more terrifying than the threats. It gives you too much time to think, to worry.
Your eyes closed and picture their faces. Your daughter, with her bright eyes and infection laughter, always running around the house with boundless energy and question you and your husband were more than happy to answer. Your son, quieter but no less adventurous even in his infancy, with his thoughtful gaze and the way he always held your hand when he was scared. You wonder if they are safe, if they know what happened to you—if your husband had made it known. You hoped they are far away from the nightmare you are trapped in, shielded from Makarov’s reach.
A tear slips down your cheeks as you think of them, your heart aching with longing and fear. You’ve always been strong for them, the one who faced danger without flinching but with a reassuring smile that kept everyone sane and calm. But now, tied to this chair in a foreign land, you feel the edges of your strength fraying. The darkness is closing in, and you’re not sure how much longer you can hold it at bay.
You wonder if your husband knows. If he was actually coming for you or if his duty refused to let him do so. The thought of him, with his determination and fierce protectiveness, gives you a hint of hope. But the hope is a double-edged sword. What if he’s walking into a trap? What if Makarov’s plan extended to him and your children?
You bite down on the inside of your cheek, the pain grounding you, pulling you back from the brink of despair. You can't afford to give in. Not yet. You have to believe that they’re safe, that they’re waiting for you. You have to believe that you’ll see them again.
“Maybe this would finally make you talk, шлюха.”
You heard the man’s voice again, and the voices of various other men that came along with him, the sound of zippers being pulled down had realized the fate was sealed and you had wished for death to come for you instead of this predicament.
~
A month, it took John a month to finally locate where you were being held hostage. He wasn’t even sure if you were still alive. After what had happened to Soap, he was uncertain if Makarov would even show you mercy. But he couldn’t lose hope, not when you had your children waiting back home, looking for their mother.
“John, we can do this. You don’t need to come.”
“The fuck I don’t.” John found himself barking at Laswell.
She had no right to dictate where he can and cannot go. He needed to see with his own two eyes where you were. If you were safe or if you were dead. He will not believe a word anyone says unless he would see it with his own two eyes.
“John, we’ve almost lost, MacTavish. We can’t lose you too.” Laswell repeated but it only burned his core.
It was regret, the numbing and brutally stabbing feeling of regret that it was his fault that it had come to this. Soap was fighting for his life trying to save John during the fight with Makarov. His wife, his beautiful and brave wife, was God knows where fighting to stay alive, probably enduring the brutality of the torture that only one Makarov could dish out.
It was his fault, no one else’s.
“I’ve failed Soap and I’ve failed my wife. I cannot fail my children too.” His voice that had been strong for the past few weeks now a shell of the man he once was. “I need to be there to either find her alive or take the body home with me. Either way I need to go see if the reports are true.”
There was no stopping him. Not even Ghost or Gaz could stop him as he settled himself on the helicopter that Nikolai was flying. No one could convince him in this very moment that he was more of a liability than anything else.
The hope was still lingering in his core. You were broken for everything that you possibly could have endure but he hoped you were still there fighting and keeping yourself alive for him and for everyone that was waiting for you back home.
But all the hope slowly drained as they arrived at an abandoned safe house in the heart of Russia. The scent of blood and rot was all too palpable in the area and both Gaz and Ghost had been both on high alert for possible attacks and for John’s own sanity at this point.
“Coast is clear.” Gaz spoke as he moved forward first.
John held onto his gun tighter as the abandoned safe house became more and more disheveled the deeper they walked inside.
His eyes lingered on the things scattered around, paper works, food, clothes, all were in a disarray and apparent of no sign of life for weeks. The putrid smell of blood was still nowhere to be seen in their general vicinity.
In the bleak and silent area, a lone mumble had all three men on alert. All their attention led to them finding where the source of the sound was.
“Got eyes on a door towards a basement.”
Ghost announced and without any rhyme or reason, John had walked first opening the door much to everyone’s protest. But as the creak of the door sounded, the putrid smell intensified. A vile odor of mixed excrements had overwhelmed John, it almost had him doubling over and vomiting but he proceeded further inside.
The voices of Ghost and Gaz were momentarily placed at the back of his head as the mumbling grew louder. He walked towards the bleak hallway in the basement. The fluorescent light flickering on and off as he walked closer and closer to the lone door where the sound grew louder and louder.
“Open the door.” John ordered, all the muscles in his body had stiffened. He had always anticipated this, to finally know if you were here or not, but in this moment. At this state of decay and abandonment, he feared the worse.
He feared your state, the state of his failure and the detriment that came to you and your whole being. It was because of him that you were placed in this situation and it was because of him that he almost lost Soap.
Ghost was strong enough between the three of them to finally open the door, a quick slam of his hammer towards the locks and what he saw had him visibly sobbing.
You.
Or what was left of the women he had once loved. In front of him laid a woman fighting for your life. Blood covered the floor as much as it did the walls. Various bodies of different stages of decay scattered around you. But you, you that had both your hands and legs rope tied and your mouth gagged was moving still, shaking and quietly sobbing.
“My Love.” John couldn’t take it anymore as he approached you. You were alive, but the cost was just something he could not even fathom.
With his blade, he cut both of the ties binding you and tore off the gag muffling your words. His eyes immediately inspected your body, his eyes widening at the evident tore on your pants and blood that also painted it.
“They…didn’t do anything to me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” You whispered, voice cracked and dry. Far from the melody of your voice that everyone was so used to.
“I’m worried about you and your whole being!” He finds himself snapping for having your think so lowly of him.
He pulled you towards his chest now, his eyes continued to inspect your shaking form, the various wounds that lingered your body only had bruises to go along with it.
“I fought them off,” You whispered against his chest, weaker hand holding onto his vest. “I did everything in my power or stop them.” You began to sob again and only now did John get a good sight of your face.
How blood was dried against your mouth, sporting two black eyes, and an evident broken nose.
“I failed you.” John whispered, kissing your matted hair. “I failed you and our children.”
“John…”
“I’m so sorry, My Darling.”
~
The rescue was a blur. One moment you were in the dark, suffocating cell filled with the men you killed, the ropes cutting into your wrists, and the next you were being carried out by the strong and protective arms, John’s voice a soothing murmur in your ear, promising you it was over. The light was blinding, the noise was overwhelming, but you clung to him, your lifeline in the chaos and you blacked out after the tears have finally escaped after weeks of captivity.
Days have passed since then. Your body was healing, but your mind was another story. You find yourself in the base’s infirmary, staring at the sterile white walls, the antiseptic smell a sharp contrast to the dank, musty scent of your cell. You constantly tell yourself you’re safe, but the shadows in your mind don’t listen.
Your husband was always nearby, his presence a constant comfort and a painful reminder. You watch him from the corner of your eye, how his brow furrowed with worry, his movements careful and deliberate. He tried to hide it, but you can see the guilt in his eyes. He thinks he failed you. You want to tell him he didn’t, but the words get stuck in your throat, replaced with the memories of Makarov’s sneer, his questions, the pain. It was your fault and you failed him—and your children.
You try to push those thoughts away, but they creep back in, insidious and relentless. Sleep is a battleground. Every time you close your eyes, you’re back in that chair, back in that cell. You wake up gasping, heart pounding, the sheets tangled around you like the ropes that bound you.
If it wasn’t your husband, it was Simon that constantly visits you, his silent presence a strange comfort to you. You were now wearing his shoes, being held captive and tortured, he knew above everyone else the pain and suffering you had endured at the hands of Makarov. You appreciated his quiet understanding, even as you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. You’re afraid he’ll see through the cracks, the fear you can’t shake. You were so used to giving everyone comfort and reassurance, it was so hard to be the one given it the other way around.
Then there was Kyle, who was more direct with his approach. His concern was evident in every words, every gesture. He talks to you, encourages you to open up, but you shut him out. You can’t bear the thought of reliving it, of seeing the pity in his eyes. You’re a soldier, a mother to the team, you are supposed to be strong. But you felt anything but.
John is the hardest to face. He’s always there, his eyes searching yours, looking for a sign that you’re okay. But you’re not, and you don’t know how to tell him that. The pain in his eyes cuts deeper than any wound. You want to reach out, to reassure him, but you can’t. You’re too broken.
“Tell me to stop and we stop. I don’t care what’s happening. All I care about is you.”
It was mandated by Laswell that you had to undergo psychological evaluation and therapy for the next few weeks, but it was hard. Having to deal with your own emotions while knowing you were notified that you would be unable to see your children or see Soap in the hospital until they had deemed you mentally cleared to do so.
Your husband somehow knew that it wasn’t what you needed right now. He knew you needed him but he wasn’t ready to give himself just yet. But he was hear, present in all of your appointments—his office has become the faux therapy location so he could have a close eye on you.
“Please.” You spoke, the tears forming your eyes at the fact you couldn’t see the people you truly wanted to hold the most in your state of mind.
“Go.” With a single word from your husband, the therapist assigned to your case left the office leaving you at the mercy of your husband whose eyes you still have a hard time meeting.
In the silent of the office, you took attention to the sound outside. The booming voice of Simon as he continued on with training with the new recruits. The sound of footsteps walking outside. But amongst the silence of the office the rapid beating of your heart.
“Will you sit with me?”
You finally met his eyes as he stood in front of you, pointing at the sofa that he had installed since your arrival back.
You took a moment before nodding, following him onto the leather sofa. You allowed him to sit first, the creaking sound of the leather against your shared weathered bodies as you sat so close together but the distance was all the more evident still after what had happened to you.
“My children will be coming in a few hours.” He announced finally making your turned to look at him full for the first time in what felt like days.
“Will…will they be ready to see me like this?” You wonder, even as you had healed, you still has the bruises and wounds covering your body not a sight you would ever want your children to ever see you in.
“They know that you got hurt.” He explained. “I know it was not what the doctor or anyone higher up wanted but I want to make sure what you want is being taken into consideration first.”
You nodded knowing it would also mean you would be seeing your in-laws too—the parents you have come to have since meeting your husband. You feared what they would think in your state and knowing what goes on during kidnappings especially for someone in your field.
“Nothing matters to me in this moment but you, you need to understand that. You matter to me not just as your husband but as your Captain. Do you understand?”
You nodded wiping the tears on your eyes.
“No matter what you say, I had a hand in what happened to you. If I only made sure you had Gaz with you during the mission you wouldn’t be place in such a predicament right now, My Love.”
No matter what you say and no matter what you do, it was now a curse that fell upon the both of you. The weight of both of your decisions that day that led you to be where you are right now. A shell of your former self and a husband that knew nothing but be consumed by the guilt of what had happened to you.
“But we’ll go through this together alright? Once you’ve seen the kids and healed up your wounds, we’re going through whatever doctor or therapist we can both get ourselves signed up for and we’ll move past this…together.”
You nod.
“I don’t blame you, you know.” You finally speak. “I never blamed any of you besides Makarov and the sooner I get to see his bloody body on my feet, the sooner we can all move on from this.”
In the pain of the events that caused this much trauma, nothing would give you better joy than to finally have the man either behind bars or dead. You could care less if the man died by your hands or that hands of anyone in your team, but you knew if it came, you would be at peace once and for all.
You found yourself now on the lap of your husband, his arms gently wrapped around your waist. It was the first time in days since you’ve been in his arms, the warmth and protection that only he could give you in this time of chaos in your mind.
“Is this okay?” He asked, uncertain in his action.
“Yes please.” You whispered, nuzzling your face onto the crook of his neck. You took a deep breath of his scent, your arms slowly moved up wrapping around his broad shoulders, your head now resting on his shoulders as you looked up at him.
“Do you want me to hold you closer?” He asked, the shiver in his touch on you was felt.
“I just need you in whatever shape or form you’re willing to give me, John.” You whispered pulling yourself closer to him now as you allowed yourself to finally break down and mourn all of the things you had to endure at the hands of Makarov and his men.
All the things they had said about your team, about your husband, and about your children. All the treats that had placed the fear of God into you but you had no other choice but to stay quiet still. The last of the memories of when Makarov had no other choice but to use the lowest of the low and allowed his men to have their ways with you.
You bit anything you could bite, you’ve learned so much in that sheer moment. You learns that it doesn’t take much to bite off a man’s member off and it doesn’t take much before he dies from blood loss because of it. You’ve also learned that adrenaline was a very dangerous drug to be consumed in. How it had made you strong enough to fight most of the men off, killing without second guessing anything but weak enough to allow Makarov to slam a gun to the back of your head leaving you incapacitated enough to be once again bonded on the floor with the blood on your face and every single part of your body wounded and the corpse of all you’ve killed watching you.
You sobbed in the week that you were left in nothing but the pathetic excuse of your cell. The putrid scent of decay and blood lingering and leaving you to suffer a fate worse than death.
You were broken, but it would take more than the reassurance of your husband to finally heal from everything you’ve been through.
You wanted Makarov dead. For what he placed you through and for what he had let everyone you’ve ever cared for endured because of his own plans.
#John Price One Shots#John Price Oneshot#John Price Oneshots#john price headcanon#John Price x reader#john price x female reader#John price x wife! reader#captain price x reader#john price x reader#cod fanfic#cod x reader#cod mw x reader#captain price#call of duty#fanfic#x reader#female reader#captain john price x reader#captain john price#captain price x you#john price#john price x you#captain price x female reader#john price angst
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First "I love you" (TF141 x GN!Reader Headcanons)
Since I literally can't focus on writing the series I have started, have some headcanons instead
TW: Swearing, typical COD violence and themes (mild spoilers in Price's bit), some clichè themes
Blog HQ
Ghost
Saying I love you...
You told him the first time he returned to your shared home following deployment
Sure the two of you had been together for a fair while before this, but its the first time you were alone in your shared space. It was the first time you really felt how empty home was without him.
You didn't want to distract him prior to leaving for the mission, so you whispered those 3 little words to him mid-kiss when he was home with you.
Heart full, and the breath you didn't realize you were holding all this time released. He was back in your arms. Your home was back with you.
Hearing I love you...
As with the other headcanons I write, I'm a firm believer that Simon isn't as emotionally unavailable or closed off due to past trauma as much as so much time in solitude. The last meaningful connection he had ended not the greatest, so he wasn't keen on seeking this out. It's been a while, our man is pretty uneducated in the modern romance department.
With his "lack of experience due to time alone" he is honestly a bit overwhelmed and terrified of this. He loves you, all of his heart. He loves you with the same amount of his heart as he loved them.
Sure, it's a different love altogether (familial vs romantic), but the feelings are overwhelming no less.
He clearly doesn't say it back right away (even though God he wants to). He wants to make sure he means it and portrays just how much he means it before diving right in. He wants it to be as close to perfect for you as possible.
Surprisingly, the perfect moment comes when you're falling asleep one night. You're snuggled into his chest, warm, content. Mumble a soft I love you, Simon.
His response comes naturally, a soft I love you too whispered into the darkness. Then everything just seemed to fall into place.
That night was the best sleep either of you ever had.
Gaz
Saying I love you...
I feel like with Kyle it would happen at the exact same time. Like....literally the same time. So imma just:
Saying I love you/Hearing I love you...
It would definitely come when the two of you are most comfortable around one another. Probably during a lazy night at home.
Cooking together perhaps? Little bit of teamwork, mixed with teasing comments and stolen kisses as you manuever around one another.
Or maybe playing video games (cozy couch co-op or fiercely competitive. No inbetween. Take your pick).
Flip side of the coin: you're getting wound down from a night out. Stripping out of the stupid fancy clothes you decided were a good idea to wear out. Spoiler: it wasn't a good idea. Next time let's do something more casual.
No matter what the situation is, you're doing it together and your hearts couldn't be fuller. Happily in the apartment you two share, just enjoying one another.
"I could live like this forever without complaint" you'd start, smiling over at him (even if he beat your ass at whatever game you were playing with no mercy)
"Didn't know I was dating an immortal" he'd tease back. "Share your secrets with me"
"No!"
"Why not????"
"I simply cannot share my secrets with a doof like you"
Your play argument ending in him trying to tickle you, or play wrestle you, or just anything that results in the two of you (INNOCENTLY) tangled up together. Like super clichè looking into the others eyes as you lay/sit there. Lost in the moment and realizing it's no longer "I like like you" but rather:
"I love you"
Said, by the two of you, at the exact same time.
Queue laughter, shared kisses and full hearts.
Soap
Saying I love you...
My mind automatically went to lost on a road trip trope. Like you two would plan out an entire day, wanting to visit the spot you two would hang out at all the time pre-relationship.
Except you're both too distracted by conversation and jamming to whatever playlist you had in the background to realize: your turn is well into the rear view.
By the time he realizes he's now driving on roads he doesn't recognize, it's too late. You're pretty far out of the way, and the clouds in the sky don't look super promising.
"T'hell with it! We have our lunch here" he'd propose, finding a small hill in the distance. "Our new spot™️"
So that'd exactly what you do. An improvised little lunch, in your new trademarked spot.
It was after lunch, when you both were full and ready for a food coma. You don't know what overtook you to say it. You didn't even realize you were saying it until his eyes dialted and a small smirk crossed his lips.
"You love me, aye?"
Hearing I love you...
He would have no hesitation saying it back, except for you playfully smacking him while yelling his name.
He'd be so in shock that someone as lovely as you would feel that way toward someone like him.
You!! Loving him!!
The next time he'd try to say it back, it would be interrupted by thunder in the distance, and the urgency to start packing up your things and getting home before too long.
It was when you make the journey from the vehicle to the house through the pouring rain when he decided now was the time. Watching you laugh, try and fail to keep yourself dry that it came out.
"I love you too"
"That's nice. But it's raining fucking hard so can we go inside and be cute after?"
You two were 100% cute inside after that. Lots of "I love yous" shared back and forth that night.
Price
Saying I love you...
Hear me out though, what if it were you captured with Kate (in that one mission, the one that solidified that Gaz shouldn't be in aircrafts anymore).
No matter how you feel in that moment (terrified, oddly calm, pissed to high hell) one thought would be in the front of your mind:
You've never said I love you.
Sure, you've told him the various things that you love about him. But never told him straight out that you love him in his entirety.
So as you sit, guns pointed at you. Ready to cause harm and death if needed. You find yourself reflecting on your relationship.
The ups, the downs, the victories and hardships. The way that you used to find his overbearing nature to be insufferable at times...you're now viewing it in a new light.
Maybe that's just because you're standing on death's doorstep wondering if he's going to answer today.
The crash, the chaos. You truly wonder if it's the end. Until you're pulled away from eternities grasp and brought back to reality. Face to face with your boyfriend who is clearly fighting back his own emotions. Still convincing himself that you're alive.
"I love you, John" comes out so naturally as you launch yourself at him. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of his gear pressing into you. He was here, he had you.
Hearing I love you...
John would 110% be beside himself. Trying to figure out how he let this happen, concerned that he won't get to you in time, letting his mind run wild with worse case scenarios.
Whether you work in the military or not -- you were never supposed to be in this type of situation.
Getting the call that you were MIA and now a POW caused his heart to stop. To grow a shade colder as he reminded himself he needs to breathe.
Won't do you a whole lot of good if he's passed out.
While he wants to call the shots and lead the charge to get you back safe, he does step back and let his teammates take point. Considering it's a glaring conflict of interest for him to be there, captain or not.
The entire time they're fighting to get to you, all he can think of is how this is inadvertently his fault. Running through everything to figure out where he went wrong. Where did he slack off? What could he have done differently?
He also vowed in this moment to keep you safe for the rest of your lives. Even if you hated him, if you never wanted to see him again because of this. He would never, ever anything like this happen to you again.
When they finally reach the front of the convoy, he's ready to pass out or punch someone out if they don't move out of his way. Much like a mama bear and her cub, you don't get between John and his love in this moment.
His team makes quick work of the enemies, as he approaches one of the doors. Heart hammering inside his chest, hands shaking slightly as tears burn the back of his eyes. Pleading to anyone listening that you be alive.
When you barreled into him and whispered those words to him he could've fallen over. His legs almost not supporting him. You were alive, you love him. You were alive. You love him. He repeated this over in his head as he held you close.
Whispering the words back, cursing himself for how his voice broke halfway through.
You were alive. You love him.
Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#john soap mactavish headcanons#john soap mctavish x reader#john soap mactavish fluff#simon ghost riley headcanons#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley fluff#captain john price headcanons#captain john price x reader#captain john price fluff#captain john price angst#kyle gaz garrick fluff#kyle gaz garrick headcanons#kyle gaz garrick x reader
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May tumblr endure the pain of all the angst fics on it's sight for eating your askbox.
Well then, I'm really glad you liked the Selkie!Ghost prompt I sent in :D, I loved what you did with it ^^ -X/3NH
(If you want the old prompt just tell me)
Okay new prompt: Ghost is a monster that lives under the bed and in the closets of children. Soap has been the singular person he's haunted, not by choice, just because Soap won't have a single nightmare related to him. In fact, Soap sees him as a friend.
Ghost's kind feeds off nightmares related to them, so he's latched to Soap until he can get a singular nightmare out of him. But Soap is now in 141 and he still hasn't had that nightmare relating to him.
So Ghost now protects Soap because he's grown attached.
(Do what you want w this concept, but I was thinkin Ghost takes a shot for Johnny, but gets that nightmare he wants so bad, it's about him dying in Soap's arms. Ghost's now free, free to choose another contract, but he doesn't want to get anymore nightmares, he wants to be with Soap. (also his family isn't too nice cause "he's the reason SOap doesn't experience nightmares, he's doing it wrong" (No soap is just a massive fan of monsters and doesn't feel scared around them)))
Wow thats a lot, well enjoy ^^
Hello friend! I want to say, I absolutely adore your asks and I'm sorry for always taking so long to answer them! They usually need to be a tad longer than my normal stuff and I want to do them justice! Also, did some very mild experimentation with some formatting/punctuation. Nothing super noticeable but if you notice something looks weird, its on purpose!
Also, Ghost is also a child for the first portion of this. He matures a bit faster but their age gap is only really a year (felt weird writing about an adult monster under some kid's bed)
Ghost had never, ever heard of a kid like Soap. The kid was... well. If changelings were real, Ghost would put money on him being one.
Soap regularly grabbed spiders and played with him. Not the cruel playing of little tyrants that ripped their legs off, but a genuine, loving little thing. He'd pet them and let them crawl over his hands and set them outside when they started to get agitated.
Snakes fascinated him. The first time he managed to see one at school, he came home, sat on the floor and told Ghost all about it. How the scales moved and reminded him of Ghost's arms. Then he asked Ghost if he was a snake which made him lash out and try to yank the kid under the bed.
However, since Soap feared him no more than he feared snakes or spiders or soft kittens, he just went straight through him. It looked more like he tried to pat him than anything else.
Ghost couldn't believe it. Other monsters his age were back home! Bragging! And here he was, taking way too much time.
"I'm going to kill you!"
Soap sighed. "You're always so grumpy. Do you want me to make you a cup of tea?"
"...I guess." Ghost pouted.
Soap smiled at him, radiant. Ghost wondered if he was made out of the sun.
The tea was delicious. He even got biscuits on the side.
"Why do you want me to be scared of you anyway?"
Ghost refused to talk to him about it, worried it would ruin his chances of ever going home. Soap smiled at him.
"Is it like a grade? If you scare me, you get a better grade?"
"Something like that." Ghost agreed. "I need to scare you."
"I will do my best to be scared by you!" Soap smiled at him and finished eating.
On Soap's thirteenth birthday party, far far after when Ghost should be long gone, he asked for some odd things. Horror posters and books about mythology. Ghost knew he was trying to get more information on him, probably to banish him.
Soap never did anything though. He continued to be his friend with so much ease. He also never told anyone else. At some point, Soap realized this was abnormal and instead of panicking like Ghost had hoped or maybe telling someone, he just moved on.
"We're friends. I couldn't endanger you like that." Soap had answered honestly when Ghost asked.
"We are NOT friends."
Soap smiled easily. "I'll get you to admit it one day. I promise." He gently nudged Ghost's shoulder. Ghost hadn't been touched in a while and the fact that Soap could touch him but he couldn't quite touch Soap was... weird. A little scary.
Soap smiled at him gently.
Ghost hated the day that... man put the idea of the military in Soap's head. He inspired Soap apparently. Sent him on this spiral to try to get into the military.
"Fucking hell, Johnny. The military?" Ghost sat on his bed and stretched out. His shadows had shifted from... well shadows into dark clothing. Recently, he had gotten used to adjusting them to look like a leather jacket, leather pants and dark gloves. If this so happened to be exactly like Soap's most recent movie crush, then it was purely coincidental. And if maybe, just maybe, Ghost enjoyed the lingering gazes from Soap, that was also coincidental.
He cropped up in Soap's dreams sometimes, but it was never frightening. The only reason he even knew was because Soap sometimes muttered his name in his sleep.
"It would be great! Going out there, helping people, good innocent people. Going on missions and adventures."
"Your brains being splattered against the ground. Dying. Fucking up and hurting people that don't deserve it." Ghost grinned, ignoring Soap's scrunched up face.
"Stop being such a bawbag. This isn't going to scare me so you're just doing it to be a dick." Soap hit Ghost with a pillow.
Ghost laughed and laid flat on his bed. He went quite when Mrs. MacTavish passed by, asking if either of them needed snacks. "She can't hear me, can she?"
"Course she can. Why couldn't she?" Soap tilted his head.
Ghost frowned. At this rate, he might as well just become human. He already fucking was. "How long?"
"About two years now. She thinks you're super shy." Soap explained, not understanding how terrible this was for Ghost.
Ghost dissolved, slinking under the bed.
"Wait, Ghost!" Soap looked under the bed. "Come on. Are you sad about your family again?"
"LEAVE ME ALONE."
Soap flinched and sighed. "I'll make you tea, okay?" He left Ghost alone for a bit while he did.
Ghost did miss his family. He couldn't go back until he fucking got a stupid nightmare and he was hungry because Soap's dreams were so fucking devoid of any fear. Stupid asshole.
The tea made things a little better.
When Soap finally got everything together to join the military, he was 15. Too young to actually join, but that wasn't going to stop the asshole. He planned to join and Ghost had to go with him.
The problem? While Ghost was roughly 16, he didn't have any papers saying he existed and he couldn't just wait for Soap to come home on his leaves. So he just made some stuff. Fake documents and different things. he was also very, very fleshy. Soap and him had touched hands and his skin felt the same way.
It disgusted him. He really, really hoped that while they were in the military, Soap would learn fear.
But that didn't happen.
Because Ghost was accepted and Soap wasn't.
"You're clearly too young. Try again next year."
Ghost felt his heart drop.
Shit.
This did not occur to him as a possibility.
Soap immediately started in on the man while Ghost sat there, stunned. He tried to smoke away. Dissolve and reappear miles away and back home.
His body refused. Panic flooded him.
No.
Fuck.
Ghost spent... three years? Time was weird. But he bumbled around the military. For the first time... ever, he ate what he was supposed to. Nightmares. None of them were good enough. They weren't Soap. It was better than the nothing he had been experiencing the past 19 years. That's when they reunited again.
Soap flinched when he saw him before hearing him speak and immediately brightening. "Hello... Simon."
"Hello, Johnny."
So Ghost watched out for him. He had to keep him alive and safe. Both because of his job and also because Soap needed to dream of him to set him free.
Soap still dreamed about him. Ghost could hear him speaking his name in the dark of night. Saying it with a tone that Ghost heard other people use in these scenarios. It was different than the playful manner of when they were younger. For some reason, it made Ghost's chest flutter.
Somehow, Ghost became a Lieutenant and Soap became one of his Sergeants. They worked together well and no one ever suspected it was because they were old friends.
Ghost had long since felt human. Any connection he had to being a monster gone. Even if he fed off the fear of his comrades, they weren't exactly Soap. He still had to eat human food and had human problems like cold hands.
Still felt pain.
The bullet went straight through his chest and the blood from his wound splattered all over Soap's face.
Soap's blue eyes widened. He was finally afraid.
It tasted rather bitter.
Ghost collapsed into him and Soap cradled his body. His blood covered them both.
"MEDIC!"
Soap screamed his little head off. So loud and insistent.
Ghost wanted to dissolve. Wanted to sink back into the darkness and hide under Soap's bed again.
"never wanted to join the military."
"Why did you then?"
"wanted to stay close to you." Ghost admitted, panting. His mask felt tight around his face. "it wasn't just a job for me. hadn't been for a while."
"The military?"
"No. Johnny." Ghost leaned up and kissed him through the fabric.
He finally dissolved.
His consciousness floated somewhere. It felt like home. He could still smell the soap Mrs. MacTavish used on the sheets.
Soap dreamed of him. Ghost was rather violently dragged into it, spectating whatever Soap finally put together.
The fear and adrenaline was intoxicating. Finally rid him of the awful feeling of being hungry that had plagued him for so long.
Soap held his body. It looked much worse than it was. The entire world seemed tinged with Ghost's blood.
"Please. Please. Stay with me." Soap begged, rocking his body.
Ah.
Johnny wasn't afraid of Ghost. He was afraid for Ghost.
How endearing.
The bond between them, the hold, snapped. Ghost felt himself start to spiral away from Soap, his body wanting to spin back into smoke.
But he dug his heels in.
"No." Ghost mumbled. "Got this fucking far. Can't ditch now." He had spent the majority of his life with Soap and he was realizing now that he wanted to spent the rest of it with him too.
It continued to drag him and he struggled and thrashed until his eyes flickered open to see Soap staring at him.
"You're awake."
"Fucking hell, don't stare at me like that. And I'm supposed to be the monster here." Ghost sat up, fully healed.
Soap went to stop him before pausing. "Always forget you're not human. You okay?"
Ghost nodded.
"Do you remember what happened?"
He nodded again.
"All of it?" Soap batted those damn eyelashes at him.
"If you're asking for another kiss, you can just lean down."
This kiss didn't have fabric between them.
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#call of duty modern warfare ii#cod mw2#ghostsoap#soapghost#cod#ghoap
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Hello! I hope you are well and having a fantastic day!
Can you, if you're alright with it, make this a oneshot separately for Ghost, Soap, and König and how they would comfort their S/O in this scenario.
May this be an x Fem!Reader where the reason that Y/N joined the military was to get away from her abusive family, and when she first joins the force, she's very quiet and sticks to herself, obviously being shy around either one of the boys. Eventually, they both start talking, and once she gets comfortable around him, she turns into an extrovert and tells him many things with him lovingly listening to her.
Maybe she could also tell him about how, with her family, she couldn't tell them anything because she was either told not to talk or they wouldn't listen, in other words, shut her out. Making her feel like she couldn't talk to anyone.
(You don't have to write it if you don't want to.)
You’ll Understand One Day | John “Soap” MacTavish x F!Reader
a/n: i used artemis for this because she can be seen as you! i’m also sorry this took so long i got distracted (AGAIN)
warnings: vague mentions of neglect, abuse. cussing, soap being soap and having a crush
summary: Soap has a special interest in Laswell’s protégé, Artemis.
Soap would have never ever believed that she was this talkative when he first met her. He was never a man to go out and catch feelings, it was more like those feelings immediately grabbed him and put him in a chokehold - that’s exactly what happened because of her.
Laswell’s protégé, Artemis, was a force to be reckoned with. She had been lent to the 141 for extensive tactical training by Laswell, and when she stepped off the plane, Soap internally swooned - though he swore to himself never to tell her. He had walked up, shaken her hand and talked her ear off about the whole base.
It was very early on that all of the 141 noticed that she almost never spoke, only ever responded to orders and comms. If anyone tried to approach her, she’d back away like a scared dog. That put Soap off - what if she had a mission go wrong and she’s scared of attachment? What if her last team didn’t treat her well, that’s why she’s scared of him?
Tried to bump into her at the water fountain, she ducked away as soon as she noticed him. He even sent Gaz to talk to her for God’s sake, she scurried away like a mouse. The only person she didn’t run away from was Price, which was odd to Soap - almost everyone was scared of Price. His poor little heart thought she had heart eyes for Price, but oh, he was dead wrong.
He asked his Captain about the relationship, Price rolled his eyes and said that Artemis wasn’t used to being with a team that was like a family. She didn’t want Price to think she wasn’t capable of doing her job, so she was like his shadow.
Soap internally swiped the sweat off his brow, but he was still confused. Family problems? Artemis? No! She was too nice for that, too skittish, too good for that. He didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to believe it was real. So he made a point to get her to talk to him, no matter what it took.
He walked up to her at the water fountain and loudly asked her a question. “So, Arty, you know why the strawberry was cryin’?”
She looked bewildered, eyes widened and back straightened as if to make her look bigger, but it didn’t put Soap off.
“…No.”
“‘Cause he was in a jam!”
Her eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed. “Funny.”
“You like jokes then?” He smiled. “Price gets all his jokes off me, the bastard.”
She just stared at him.
He stared right back, his smile reached his eyes. “I hope you’re not stealin’ jokes from Price, you can just get’m from me!”
She nodded and walked away.
It took her only a couple more weeks for her to not move away from the fountain when he approached her, she was no longer like a scared deer at the shore of a lake - she only stared at him as he filled up his water bottle.
“Ya know why the coffee filed a police report?” He screwed the cap back on, his smile still huge. It’s like he couldn’t make it go away when she was around.
“No.”
“‘Cause it got mugged!” He chuckled, his smile got impossibly bigger.
There was a crack of a grin on her face as she spoke, “What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?”
His eyebrows furrowed, raking his brain for an answer while still being shocked that she was talking to him. “Uh, dunnoe.”
“Oops.”
Soap let out a bark of laughter, almost dropping his water bottle. “S’good one, Arty!”
The smirk on her lips lit up his heart again, the infatuation only getting worse.
After that day, he’d seemed to find her everywhere. He used to spend hours looking for her, just to check on her, but never find her. It’s like she is making sure he sees her whenever she’s near - he smiles about it. He’s always smiling.
She approached him more, telling him jokes more often; that evolved into asking him questions about his life, his hobbies, his favorite gun to use. Soap was happy to oblige, babbling on and on about his large family and the trouble he used to get in as a ‘wee lad’. And at a certain point, something changed - she began to answer his questions. Soap was getting confused more often at what had opened, what had changed in her pretty little head for her to talk to him with more than the same ten words she had for months before.
It was a Saturday night in his Glasgow apartment when there was a knock at his door. The Glasgow Celtics game was on, he was pissed off that they were losing and texting his mom about it. She was sure to be watching, so he knew it wasn’t her at his door. His sister lived in Edinburgh, and was known for announcing her presence by calling him six different times on her way to Glasgow - it wasn’t her either. And it definitely wasn’t any of his team, he knew how almost everyone knocked.
He hopped over his couch, almost slipping on the hardwood because of his Celtics socks that he wore every game he watched. He was grumbling to himself, upset about the game, that it was almost over and that they were losing. He ran a hand through his mohawk, quick to grab his front door handle and pull it open, “This better be good-“
He shut his mouth, eyes wide as Artemis stood in front of him - soaked to the bone, eyes red and her dufflebag on her shoulder. He opened his mouth again, then shut it quickly. For a blabber mouth, as Price says, he did not have one word to say as she clenched the handle of her duffle.
“I didn’t mean to bother you.” Were her first words, nervously teetering on her feet as she then sniffled. “I just- Ah, fuck,” One hand went up to her eyes, rubbing at them before continuing, “Can-Can I crash here?”
Soap was bewildered, to say the least. The girl he was pining over was at his door step, soaked and in tears, and he felt anger rise in his chest. Who would force her to walk in the rain? Who made her cry? Come to think of it, he never even asked if she had a boyfriend. Eejit, eejit, eejit! He was mentally kicking his own ass as he swallowed thickly, answering, “Y-Yeah, c’mon.”
He looked ridiculous, he remarked to himself, wearing a ratty 141 t-shirt with MACTAVISH on it and a pair of bleach stained Celtics sweatpants. He moved out of the way, but she had kneeled to untie her boots. He watched her, noticing that she had to have been in the rain for at least half an hour, since everything she wore was dripping water into the carpet of the hallway. As soon as she shucked off her boots, she walked in, setting them beside the door before standing up straight again. Soap hadn’t closed the door yet, still in shock that she was in front of him - in a soaked university sweatshirt he didn’t recognize and jeans. She glanced out the door before looking down at her clothes, then back up to Soap. “Could I use the shower? And some clothes?”
The Scot licked his lips as a way to try and wake him from his stupor, but it barely worked. “Down-Down th’ hall on th’ right, ah will git some clothes fer ya.”
She was gone then, walking down the hallway - leaving wet footprints since your socks were soaked too. All Soap could do was close his front door, lock it, and mentally kick himself in the ass. If he’d known you were coming, he would have at least brushed his teeth - and he remembered the pile of dirty laundry in his bathroom. He was going to stub his toe on purpose.
He heard the lock click on his bathroom and immediately jumped into action, moving towards his kitchen and putting away plates that had been clean for a few days, just sitting on the rack. He filled the kettle with water, placing it on his old stove and turning it on high. He then moved away, rushing to his living room and picking up his many empty bags of crisps. He threw them away before moving to his cramped laundry room next to the bathroom, hearing the water turn on as he opened the small cabinet he had to old sweatshirts and sweatpants, all of the sport and military merchandise type.
He grabbed one of his larger sweatshirts and a pair of sweats that he figured was close to her size, knowing that she probably would have felt more comfortable with him not seeing her body through his clothes she would wear. He wanted to respect her space. He turned off the light in his laundry room, noting that the shower had turned off as soon as he closed the door, he set the green and blue set of sweats in front of the bathroom. Soap then hightailed himself back to his kitchen, mind still flying thousands of miles a minute.
The kettle on his stove was beginning to whistle and he almost tripped on himself as he moved to the stove, pulling the well-loved kettle from the hot element to the cold one. He then opened his cabinets, grabbing a box of his best tea and two of his cleaner mugs. He settled them on the counter, putting the tea in the mugs just as he heard her open the bathroom door, before shutting it again. He took the mugs to his coffee table before making the smart decision to bring his small jar of sugar and his bottle of milk too, settling them on the table while he heard the door open for the final time. He looked back to his TV, trying not to seem like a creep and seeing that the Celtics were still losing. He heard her walk into the living room, he reached forwards and muted the TV as she sat on the opposite side of the couch.
“Made ya tea.” Soap looked to her, his heart pounded in his ears as he observed her in his clothes. H/C hair dropped water onto the sweatshirt as she reached forwards, putting sugar and milk in her mug.
“Thanks.” She murmured as she took the warm mug into her hands, taking a sip and sitting back. Soap wasn’t too worried about his own tea as he was why she was here.
“Do ye wanna talk about it?”
The look is her eyes almost confused Soap, she mumbled, “What?”
“Ye don’t hav’ tae talk about it if ye don’t wantae, I-I’m just curious as to how you even knew whaur I lived.”
“Ah. I-uh called Price.”
“Oh.”
She reached forwards and placed her mug down on the table, wiping her mouth before whispering a soft, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”
He shook his head, settling his hands together and knitting his fingers. He was trying not to explode. To be honest, he had imagined her coming to his apartment on very different terms - after a date, maybe just a sleepover or just to hang out. Soap’s whole world was spinning; the girl he’s pined over for months is sitting in his apartment, crying, and he’s daydreaming over her. Get yerself together, yeh fockin’ muppet! “Uh-no! No, no- I wasn’t really doin’ anythin’.” He paused for a moment before adding, “Important. Anythin’ important, meh team was losin’ anyway.”
“Well, I just-“
Brrrrg! His phone began to ring on the coffee table next to the TV remote, his eyes glanced down to it, seeing that it was his sister. She stopped what she was saying, mumbling, “It’s okay, you can take the call.”
Soap took his phone in his hand, shutting it off before putting it back on his coffee table. If his sister really needed something she could call their dad. He looked back to Artemis, confused as to why she looked as if she was going to cry again. He reached his hand out to comfort her, she hesitantly took it. “What’s wrong? What’d I do?” She shook her head, hands going to her eyes as she sat back on the couch, clearly upset. He felt awkward then, not sure what he had done to make her cry. “Arty-“
“Thank you.” Her voice wavered as she laughed a little, leaning her head back as she wiped away her tears. “Thank you.”
“What’d I do?” Soap questioned again, curious.
She sniffled, settling against the arm of the couch as she whispered, “You just declined a call to listen to me.”
He blinked rapidly at you. Was she serious? “Well, yeh. I think whatever you say’s important.”
Her hands dug into her eyes, sniffling a little louder before her hands unceremoniously dropped to her legs. She then brought her feet up onto the couch, bringing her knees to her chest as she could rest her head on them - keeping her gorgeous face looking towards him.
His big Scottish heart felt like he was doing laps with Ghost, running as fast as he possibly could while Ghost barely broke a sweat. He almost condensed himself into remembering his first crush in primary school, how his heart beat so fast and so hard that he thought he was dying. His mum just laughed about it, telling him that he should never be scared of love.
“An-And if ya wanna talk about whatever happened, ‘m all ears. ‘Cause my ears are really big ‘n always have been, ever since I was a wee lad ‘n-“ He smacked his own hand over his mouth, the giggle that escaped her lips made his stomach do a flip. It was ethereal, like an angel had possessed her. No, he concluded, she is an angel. She’s Artemis, she’s Y/N. Y/N is an angel.
With her arms wrapped around her legs, she murmured, I-uh, my family doesn’t really like me. And they don’t really let me talk all the time… ‘n I just didn’t want to sit there and be silent for another week…”
Everything came crashing down.
How could they even dare to damage an angel like you? Your voice is the only thing I want to hear for the rest of my days, you’re so witty and smart and I will never deserve you. And I know for a fact that you don’t deserve them and they do not fucking deserve you.
“Well, you can say whatever you want to me. I’ll never shut ya up, but you might have to shut me up ‘cause I’m loud and obnoxious and I talk too much-“
“No, Johnny.” Her hand grabbed the one flailing about, her fingers pressed into his pulse point. “You’re perfect.”
For the first time in John MacTavish’s life, he was speechless.
———
Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.
#cod john mactavish#john mactavish#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish x f!reader#john mactavish x fem!reader#johnny mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish
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Buds After the Frost
This was supposed to be a short warm-up writing exercise yesterday and then it got... longer. Enjoy!!
...
The doors opened for Maddie Fenton with a pneumatic hiss. Pressurized nitrogen released, splitting open the vacuum seal on the door as its twin halves slid apart, slotting into the wall-mounted sleeves. The nitrogen misted out, cold and dry, air currents catching in swirls around Maddie Fenton’s lab coat. Her feet thocked against hollow metal, amplified by the coldness and the vastness of the containment room beyond.
She paused short of the specimen’s cell, mindful attention drawn to the panel of controls nested rightmost against the wall. The monitor read out stats, tracked metrics of the specimen’s heartrate and blood oxygenation and blood pressure. Dials beneath the screens offered her means of interaction, manipulating the cage’s environment without needing to tamper with it by hand. She ignored these, as she had been ignoring them the entire time, and paid mind only to the single switch which would seal shut the doors behind her.
She pressed it. Another pneumatic hiss followed, locking out the world behind her. Her breath curled, cold. She and the specimen were alone.
“No coffee this morning?” he asked.
Maddie sat down at the control panel, elbow leaning against the dashboard for support. She turned to the cage. “No. One of the interns broke the pot last night. New one should be delivered today.”
Phantom let out a huff of air. “You mean in this whole gigantic mega-hyper-futuristic government lab, there’s nothing that can stand in as a coffee pot?”
“I wouldn’t stay employed long if I tried using equipment to brew coffee.”
“Use one of the big ectoplasm beakers. Ectoplasm washes out with soap and water. Just suds it up and throw it in the coffee maker. I’m an expert about these things.”
“It’s more about protocol.”
Phantom waved her off. “’Protocol.’ Bureaucracy is standing between you and a delicious cup of ectoplasmic coffee, Dr. Fenton.”
Maddie looked forward now, taking him in. He’d hovered to the front of the cell, translucent reinforced glass separating him from the rest of the lab. Green eyes shined above a cheeky smile, a dusting of loose white hairs falling over his eyes, the rest of his bangs swept slightly to the side. His tailed flickered, his aura pulsed, his vital readings blipped out steady, normal, healthy.
“Phantom?”
“Yeah?”
Maddie paused.
“Why are you still here?”
The ghost boy let out a small guffaw. He motioned his arms around him, hands waving. “I dunno. Maybe the big ghost-proof box I’m in has something to do with it?”
“The shield is down, Phantom,” Maddie answered quietly. She set her eyes to Phantom, investigating. “…I put it down last night. It’s down now. You knew this.”
Phantom took just a moment too long to react, eyebrows arching up. “Oh, huh! Nope I didn’t notice. I mean it’s not like I’m constantly throwing myself at the barrier to electrocute myself so no I just didn’t try getting past it last night so I didn’t notice.”
“Phantom,” Maddie said again, voice measured, words stern. “You saw me crank down the dial that controls the shield.”
“Well I don’t know what all those buttons and dials do.”
“Yes you do. You’ve been observing me since day 1. You knew.”
Phantom kicked back in the air, floating a fraction back and higher. “Well maybe I thought it was a trap, I dunno. Or maybe I just like to get in your head, you know? What unpredictable thing will Phantom do next! Gotta write another 200 equations about ghost theory to figure that one out, Dr. Fenton.”
“Phantom.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you not want to leave?”
“Oh I wanna leave.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“We’re having a conversation. That’d be rude.”
“Will you leave as soon as I exit the room?”
“Who knows?”
“Phantom.”
“Yeah?”
Maddie stood. She left her chair and the control panel behind. She walked up to the specimen cage instead. It was cubic, a skeleton of metal bar ribbings with a metal mesh that plastered the glass sides like a membrane. The top anchored to the ceiling, the bottom—raised by about a foot—anchored to a pedestal on the floor. Maddie stared through the mesh into Phantom’s eyes.
“Is there anyone who realizes you’re missing?” she asked.
Phantom chewed on the question. “Nah. Well um, trick question, actually. Probably not. Assuming I do this right, then no one has even realized I’m gone.”
“Do what ‘right’?”
“You know that thing about Clockwork I explained?”
“You said he’s the ghost that controls time and reality.”
“Yeah. SUPER powerful.”
“And you said you …were from one of those other realities.”
Phantom nodded. “Maybe I touched some things in Clockwork’s lair I wasn’t actually allowed to touch. Jury’s still out on whether I’m in trouble for that or not. I’ve been a little too ‘stuck in this reality’ to know if Clockwork is pissed. But yeah, I got um, bopped into your reality instead of mine. So technically my reality is lacking me right now, and yeah there’s people there who’d know I’m missing.”
Phantom flipped upside-down, as though laying on his back. He rested his palms beneath his head, elbows out, suspended in an invisible hammock, head tilted far back so that he still stared at Maddie. “Especially since it’s been, what, a month that I’ve been gone?”
“2 weeks.”
“What? No way. I’ve been here absolutely forever it has to have been at least a month.”
“This is day 14 of your observation, Phantom.”
Phantom blew a strand of hair out of his face. “Anyway. Two weeks is still long enough to have a search party out on my butt. But whether or not that’s happened is up to – it’s kind of a Schrodinger thing. Because here’s my strategy. Assuming Clockwork hasn’t banned me from reality-hopping forever, I can just get him to send me back to my own reality at the precise moment in time I vanished. And then bam, no one ever knows I was gone. And it makes no difference whether I do that today, or next week, or next month. So assuming you eventually let me go, then I’m all set there.”
“You say that almost like you don’t care when it happens.”
“I dunno, more like I’m just not losing sleep over it. It’s not like I have a say in the matter. You do. I don’t.”
“Is the time you spend here just meaningless, to you?”
“I wouldn’t say meaningless. I’m still aging goddammit.”
“You’re a ghost.”
“I’m complex.” Phantom flipped right-side-up again. “If I start growing facial hair, send me back. I’m gonna have some awkward questions to answer if I show up again with a ghost beard suddenly.”
“…And what if I never send you back?” Maddie asked, careful with her words. “How does your plan work if you stay here forever? If I destroy you first?”
“Um. …It doesn’t, I guess.” Phantom set a hand to his chin, thinking. “Yeah um, please don’t do that. I don’t wanna worry my whole family like that.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“What part?”
“That you have a family.”
“I mean. I think that came up in Interrogation Session #3. Consult your notes.”
“I just have a hard time believing you.”
“Because I’m a ghost?”
“Yes.”
“I’m a complex ghost.”
“I know. You keep saying that.”
“It’s true.”
Silence filtered in between them.
“…What is your family like, Phantom?”
Phantom stiffened a fraction, his eyes finding Maddie’s and shifting away. “Oh, you know, family.”
“Do they exist here too?”
“Huh?”
“You’re from another reality, at least you’re claiming you are.”
“I gotta be. The me from this reality died 6 months ago, didn’t he?”
“The you from most realities is dead, Phantom. You’re a ghost.”
“A complex ghost.”
“The you from this reality was destroyed 6 months ago.”
“Which you validated with your own sciencey equipment, right? You said so! So you know I’m not lying. Unless you think I recombobulated myself from being a protoplasmic smear on the sidewalk.” Phantom caught himself, registering the flinch in Maddie’s body. He deflated a bit, eyes averted. “S-sorry. Inconsiderate phrasing.”
“Why?” Maddie asked, tone flat, blunt.
Phantom’s eyes shifted back. “Um. Just. You know. That accident was. There were um, you know—”
“Human causalities.”
Phantom squirmed. “We don’t have to talk about that, you know? No one wants to talk about that. Okay as a ghost I guess ‘talking about how I died’ is sort of a bit more normal, but this is weird yeah, ‘talking about how an alternate-me died permanently’? That’s morbid. No one wants to talk about that.”
“Okay then. You can go back to answering my previous question.”
“Um. I forget.”
“Does your family exist in this reality?”
“Um, well who really knows, you know? I had like a grand total of 20 minutes of freedom in this reality before you captured me, so, don’t ask me like I’m any kind of expert about your reality. What’s it matter?”
“I want to know if there’s anyone in this reality who’s mourning you.”
Phantom’s face schismed with surprise. His front dropped, and the first look of genuine emotion sank into his glowing eyes. “Woah… That’s um, weirdly nice, of you, I guess. Why do you… want to know?”
Maddie said nothing.
“I. Um. I think the answer is no? So don’t um. Worry about that. If you were worried? Which is weird. I’m the enemy, aren’t I? Evil spooky ghost to be studied?”
“I’m not so sure what you are…” Maddie answered. “I heard you got destroyed trying to save them.”
“The um… the human casualties?”
“Yes.”
“I said we don’t have to talk about that.”
“Phantom.”
“What?”
“Do you know who they were?”
“The… casualties?”
“Yes.”
“Come on we’re on a different topic now.”
“Do you know who they were?”
“I don’t—how’m I supposed to know? I don’t know how I died here, you know? You think I’ve got some kind of like… parallel-universe death vision?”
“So you don’t know?”
“N-no.”
“I have a different question, then.”
“Okay, good, because I haven’t been liking these previous ones.”
“Are you staying just to keep me company?”
Phantom faltered. He looked left, then right, hand scratching at his chin. “I’m staying because I’m in a ghost-proof box.”
“It’s not ghost-proof anymore. The shields are down.”
“I feel like you’re circling around some accusation I’m not smart enough to follow. This feels like entrapment.”
“Then I’ll be more direct.”
“Oh no there is an accusation.”
“I think you do know how you were destroyed in this universe, Phantom.” Maddie took a step forward, and she let her left hand touch the glass, eyes focused on her fingers. “I think you know what happened at the Nasty Burger.”
“That’s—um—the human food… consumption… location… that the local human adolescents meet at, yes?”
Maddie looked up, and she locked Phantom with her stare. He squirmed, and he relented.
“I um…” he continued. “I—yeah—yeah, okay? I know about the Nasty Burger accident. It was supposed to happen to me too in my reality but I—Clockwork—stopped it from happening in my reality.” Phantom glanced left, right, as if staring beyond the confines of his cage. “When I first got knocked into this reality, I went to go find the Fenton portal so I could try to refind Clockwork and fix this and… Well it wasn’t there. And I tried to find some people I know and… I checked out the library in case the Fentons just lived somewhere else and. I um. I found the articles.” His eyes focused on hers again. “They all say you were the only survivor, yeah…?”
“I was sick, that day. It was just a cold. My husband Jack went without me.”
“I’m sorry…”
“It took my daughter and my son too.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“And it destroyed you.”
Phantom opened his mouth, but no words followed.
Maddie looked up.
“You knew this. You’ve known this ever since I captured you.” Maddie let her hand slide away from the glass. “Did you let me capture you?”
“Why would I let you capture me?”
“Because you feel sorry for me.”
Phantom’s eyes flickered about, unwilling to meet hers. “…Nah. Nah. I don’t—come on ‘sorry’? I’m a ghost you know? Bane of humanity! We’re enemies. You were just too skilled a hunter and you captured me.”
“And yet you won’t leave.”
Phantom lapsed silent.
“I um… I wasn’t happy to read about—to know the, the thing at the Nasty Burger happened here, okay? That’s something that I kinda didn’t want to believe existed in any reality anymore, but I guess… And if you were still alive. I was… maybe just kind of happy to see you? That you were okay. And still hunting. That was kind of, like a small relief.” Phantom glanced away, back again. “I wasn’t evil, you know. In my reality or this one. I care about what happened to the Fentons…”
“You let me capture you. …And you did it because you thought it would be a nice thing for you to do for me.”
“I Just—I thought maybe, um… I mean when you phrase it like that. I mean what else could cheer up renowned ghost hunter Maddie Fenton quite like a ghost subject to study? Me, especially? The ghost boy or public enemy #1 or whatever. I’m fun, aren’t I?”
Silently, Maddie pushed away from Phantom’s cage. She moved to the control panel, stiff movements and numb fingers. She entered the release code into the console, and unslung the key from her neck to twist into the override, and she threw down each successive lever in the row of four lining the top of the mechanisms.
The scrape of glass sliding away sounded behind her. All four walls of Phantom’s enclosure dropped away, metal mesh sliding away piece-meal. Phantom stared at her, blinking, floating in place.
“You’re free to go, Phantom.”
“I—uh—well hang on, I don’t think the Guys In White would be too happy about that. You can’t just let me—”
“Go, Phantom.”
“They could like, fire you.”
“I don’t care about this job.”
“I—come on, you still wanna study me, don’t you? Chat with me? If you feel bad maybe just get me a couch and some video games for my cage then I’ll be—”
“Phantom.”
“What?”
“Go home to your family.”
The half-hearted smile dropped from Phantom’s face.
“Come on. You can’t just evict me on such short notice. I’m not ready for Clockwork to kick my ass so soon.”
“Go home.”
“I’m not in any rush! I like talking to you. Don’t you—don’t you like talking to me too? In like a scientific way?”
Maddie lowered herself into the chair by the control panel. She leaned forward, arms pooled in her lap, eyes to the floor. “You have a family to get back to, Phantom.”
“It’s—there’s time travel shenanigans! Like I said they don’t even know I’m gone.”
“Every single day, Phantom,” Maddie looked up, eyes stern, “…I wish every single day that my own family would just come back home. I won’t do the same to you. I won’t do the same to your family.”
Phantom said nothing. A somber acceptance sunk into his eyes.
“They’re… alive, you know. In my dimension.”
Maddie dropped her head, and she blinked away the wetness in her eyes.
“I actually… in my dimension I’m kind of closer to the Fentons than I think the, the Phantom in this dimension was. It’s… complex.”
Maddie said nothing. Silence built between them.
“Jazz is um… Jazz is applying for colleges, y-you know. She got in early-acceptance to Yale but um, we all—they all—visited Columbia last month and I think that’s what she wants the most. I can see Jazz in New York City. I think she’d rock it.”
Maddie blinked again. Tears plicked into her lap.
“…Should I stop?”
“Jack… Tell me about Jack.”
“Oh. Yeah he um… big and goofy as ever. He’s got some kind of eight-armed-octogun he’s working on. I know because I was his target practice, involuntarily by the way. He keeps trying to merge “Fenton” and “octopus” together with mixed results. We—Mo-addie—you… are still trying to talk him out of ‘Fentoctopus’.”
Maddie’s ribcage shuddered, a repressed sob, a repressed laugh.
“And Danny?”
“Danny… um… Danny is...” Phantom’s shoulders fell a little bit. He looked away, and then back at Maddie. “He loves you. I know that.”
Maddie blinked, and blinked again, and her eyes wouldn’t clear.
“And are they happy?”
“They’re happy.”
“Am I happy…?”
“You’re…” Phantom’s tail bounced. “You’re happy, I think. I like to think so. I think you’re very happy. You have a great family.”
Maddie nodded.
“Now go.”
“But I still—”
Maddie reached forward, and she grabbed the ecto-gun propped against the control panel. She lifted it into her shoulder, and flicked the safety, and the charge built along the rising whine.
“Go.”
Phantom balked. He blinked. He kicked away from his wall-less cage. “Not forever. I’ll be back. You won’t be alone here forever.”
He was gone.
And Maddie was alone again.
…
Clockwork surveyed the boy in front of him whose head was bowed nearly to the floor, white bangs trailing along cobblestone, hands clasped, apologies repeated, begging case made.
Clockwork ran a hand along his beard, which unfurled, drew back, undid itself with the shifting of his form to a simple child.
“So let’s see. You have the audacity to break my rules andbeg me to meddle on your behalf in the time stream, all in the same breath? Apologies don’t usually come with additional requests for favors.”
“I know,” Danny’s head dipped lower. “You can punish me however you want for touching the restricted timelines but you have to help it, or let me help this one timeline. Please, please just send me back to the Nasty Burger incident so I can save it.”
“It’s already been saved.”
Danny faltered. He looked up.
“You died at the Nasty Burger incident that night,” Clockwork elaborated, form shifting older. “There is no you to ruin that future. That timeline is safe. It’s a very lucky timeline.”
Danny blinked. “N-no. No that’s not what I mean. Save it like you saved my timeline.”
“That did happen. You’re describing your own timeline.”
“I mean do it to THAT one.”
“You are misunderstanding timelines.”
Danny lapsed silent. Worry bled into his eyes, and Clockwork sighed.
“There is no undoing timelines, Danny. There is only forking them by meddling in the stream. All futures and pasts you witness exist, and do exist, and continue to exist,” Clockwork paused, “with the exception of realities I needed to cull, to prevent utter catastrophe.” His gaze fixed on Danny. “The futures that your evil self destroyed, I did have to cull. And culling a reality is not to be done lightly.”
Clockwork motioned with his staff. “There were a handful of surviving realities that I was able to save. That room you meddled in without my permission—they contain the realities off the main track where, for one reason or another, something else succeeded at destroying your future self. …Your own deaths, in fact. In every one of those realities, Danny, you are dead.”
“I don’t…” Danny shook his head. “So then just tell me how to save that one I was in, okay?”
“Oh, that’s easy.”
“How?”
“You don’t.”
Danny said nothing. Clockwork shifted young.
“You can let it live on in that room, or you could ask me to cull it, Danny. You could ask me to cull every reality in that room, so that the main branch, the one you’re from, is the only reality in existence. So you never have to worry about any existence where your family is unhappy. And it will be that way until you, or I, or someone else, meddles with the timestreams again, and more splits occur.”
Still, Danny said nothing. Clockwork continued.
“Sometimes, a mass culling of realities is healthy for the tree of time, like pruning a plant down to its stalk to survive an unforgiving winter, or a terrible disease. But I did that, just recently, to save all of time from the blight of your future self. It would feel cruel to snip off the first buds that have come after the frost.”
Danny lowered himself to the floor.
“Okay…”
“Okay?”
He nodded. “Okay. Just. I have a different question then.” He looked up, a young devastation wet in his eyes. “Can I still go back and visit that reality, sometimes?”
“No. I cannot give you permission to do that.”
“Please!”
Clockwork spun his staff. A portal swirled into being in the space between him and Danny. Washes of color formed patterns, shapes, objects, images. Like a mirror, it reflected Clockwork’s lair beyond its shimmering surface.
“This is a portal back into your own reality. It is set to the location and the time that you vanished. Go there, and leave through the Fenton portal, and nothing will be amiss.”
“No. No no I won’t. Clockwork you have to let me—”
“I am doing you a favor, Danny, getting you home after you caused more trouble. Do not make further demands of me.” Clockwork curled forward, old, sallow skin sagging, and he turned his back to Danny.
“You have to give me permission—”
“I am the only one who has permission to meddle in realities, Danny. This is an absolute.” Clockwork glanced over his shoulder. “And because this is an absolute, I have no reason to have a lock on the room housing those budding other realities.”
Danny blinked.
“I wonder if anyone might break my rules anyway. I wonder if anyone might be nosy, and enter that room anyway, and water the plants in that greenhouse without my permission.” Clockwork stared forward again.
“Clockwork…”
“Luckily I am the master of all time. I would be able to see this coming. And maybe plan for it. If ever such a person would come into my lair, and meddle in my timelines, and try to spread a bit of his own kindness to the realities he couldn’t quite save, I would be fully prepared to stop him.” Clockwork spoke into the green abyss beyond him. “Unless, maybe, I were to accidentally have my back turned.”
Silence trailed after Clockwork’s words. He kept his back to Danny, staring into the abyss of swirling green ether beyond.
“…Thank you,” Danny answered, quietly. “I’ll be back.”
“I imagine you will. Those realities may get lonely without you.”
When Clockwork glanced back over his shoulder, both Danny and the portal were gone.
#Danny Phantom#dp#dp fanfiction#me: -writes any kind of interaction between Maddie and Phantom where Maddie has captured Phantom-#me: 'haha sick Phantom of Truth reference'#ANYWAY i got really attached to a terrible what-if#please enjoy
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@jonmartinweek day 4, for the prompt "Red String of Fate." As usual, I can never write soulmate/destiny tropes straight. :')
*
Martin doesn’t notice it at first, in the rush of pain and panic. There’s so much blood, he’s not sure if Jon’s breathing; people are crowding around to try and help, and it’s only when they’re in the ambulance, the paramedics giving Jon oxygen and trying to stop the bleeding, that Martin sees it: a slender, translucent red cord that stretches between him and Jon.
He blinks a few times, sure he’s seeing things. The cord is still there, looping around his little finger and then running across the ambulance to Jon. Martin tries to touch it with his other hand, but it’s like trying to grab a stream of running water or a beam of light; his fingers pass right through it, without affecting its cohesion at all. There's a faint tingling sensation in his fingertips, but that's all. The paramedics aren’t paying it any attention as they lean over Jon, and Martin is starting to wonder if maybe he hit his head in the…fall, or whatever you call being flung across dimensions in a tangle of tapes and fear.
“Umm, excuse me?” he asks. “Can you see that?” He lifts his arm and the cord seems to stretch longer, not tugging at Jon’s hand. One of the paramedics gives a confused frown.
“Yeah?” she says, as if Martin’s asked an incredibly obvious, time-wasting question, and turns back to Jon.
“Right,” says Martin. “Okay.” Not something to worry about right now. Not while Jon is hurt, bleeding, maybe dying and it’s his fault, and—
No, not thinking like that right now, Martin decides firmly. Focus on Jon, the rest of it can wait.
When they arrive at the hospital the paramedics wheel Jon rapidly inside, and Martin follows, watching as that strange red cord lengthens, keeping them tethered together. A nurse stops Martin as he’s about to follow the stretcher down the corridor, and Martin flails, realizing he has no way to prove who he is and it’s not as if he’s legally anything to Jon, anyway. But the nurse takes one look down at his hand and gives an efficient nod.
“Oh, you’re threaded,” he says. “Okay, follow me—I’ll take you to the family waiting room.”
Martin doesn’t question it. The waiting room has comfy chairs and a television, an electric kettle for tea and several packets of biscuits, and the nurse leaves Martin with a promise that someone will update him on Jon’s condition soon. Martin makes tea to give himself something to do that isn’t collapsing into a sobbing mess, and crunches miserably on a chocolate Hobnob, staring at the red string that leads from his finger out into the corridor. It’s so translucent now that it’s almost invisible, and Martin can really only see the faint glimmer of it if he turns his head a certain way. It’s as if the distance between him and Jon stretches out its…atoms? Photons? Martin has no idea—and no idea how this is even possible, though the thing it reminds him of most is, unpleasantly, Oliver Banks’ corpse roots.
He doesn’t think it could be related to the Fears, though. If the Fears came here with them they’ve only just arrived, and everyone here seems to think that this is perfectly normal. Threaded, the nurse called it, as if it’s something he sees every day. Besides, the cord connects him to Jon, and Martin can’t believe that could be a bad thing.
He turns on the telly, because the silence is too loud. On one of the channels he finds a soap opera where a couple are having a tearful argument over the man’s childhood best friend, who he claims is like a sister to him. “Why are you still threaded to her and not me?” his partner demands, yanking up his arm to show the red string around his finger that clearly leads nowhere near her.
“Like a sister my arse,” Martin mutters; he thinks he’s starting to understand the significance of the cord. The soap is pretty terrible, but it’s a distraction, and Martin finds himself watching it until a different nurse comes to tell him he can see Jon.
“He’s still unconscious, but he’s stable. His body just needs time to heal.” She continues on to tell him that the police are going to want to talk to Martin about what happened, but Martin scarcely hears anything else she says. He’s following the red cord that stretches down the corridor ahead of him, its form growing brighter and more tangible with each step he takes. At last it leads him into the room where Jon is lying, eyes closed and his chest rising and falling slowly. Martin wants to laugh and cry at the sight of him, but he settles for dragging a chair over to the bedside and cradling Jon’s hand in his.
Jon’s hand is warm, and Martin presses his lips to the back of it, careful not to disturb the cannula inserted there. This close, the red thread gleams between their fingers, vibrant and alive.
“God,” he breathes, feeling like he’s exhaling for the first time since the tower. He can feel the emotions vying for space in his chest: fear and anger, grief and guilt. It’s too much to feel right now, so Martin pushes it down, focuses on the feel of Jon’s hand in his, the strange glow of the red cord between them.
Martin’s never believed in fate, predestination, any of that rubbish. His mum used to say everything happens for a reason, and it’s all part of God’s plan, but he could never bring himself to put any stock in the plans of some unfathomable being. The Web proved him wrong on that, he supposes, but the idea of things being meant to happen? That still doesn’t sit right with him. Is that what this…threading is supposed to be, though? A sign that he and Jon were somehow destined to be together? Something in Martin rebels furiously at the idea; he and Jon might not be perfect, but they chose each other—because they wanted to, not because the universe decided they should.
“You’d better wake up soon,” he tells Jon. “Because I need you to use your…spooky powers and explain exactly what’s going on with this—” He lifts his hand to tug gently on the thread. “—whatever this is.”
It’s a couple of hours later when Jon wakes up. Martin’s back to watching soap operas on the telly mounted on the wall—with the volume down, of course, but he can still follow most of the plot. Jon makes a small, soft noise, and when Martin looks down, Jon’s eyes are fluttering open, focusing on him.
“M’rt’n,” he manages to say, and Martin is so relieved he could cry.
“I’m here,” he says. “It’s okay—we made it. We’re both okay.”
Jon nods faintly, and before Martin can say anything else there are nurses and doctors hustling him out of the way, checking Jon’s pupil response and his blood pressure and making sure his stitches are holding, and Martin’s being pulled aside by a couple of police officers who ask him kindly but insistently to explain what happened. It seems as if he’s not a suspect, since there was no weapon found on him or at the scene, so he spins a story about muggers who took their money and ID, and it seems to satisfy them.
Of course at some point they’re going to have to actually worry about money, and ID, and somewhere to stay, but that’s in the future. For now, Jon is awake and not looking quite as much like death warmed over, and you couldn’t drag Martin away from his side if you tried. The medical staff and police clear out, at last, and Martin sits back down beside Jon, taking his hand again.
“How are you feeling?” he asks. Jon gives a weak laugh, then hisses as if it hurts.
“Like I got stabbed and a building fell on me,” he says. “You?”
“I’m fine—surprisingly so, actually. A few bruises and scrapes is all.”
“Good, I’m glad.” Jon smiles a bit wistfully. “So we’re…somewhere else, then?”
“Seems like it,” Martin says. “You can tell by the way the general population isn't horribly traumatized after months in hell. Oh, and also this.” He raises his hand again, drawing the thread up with him. Jon gives a thoughtful frown.
“That is interesting.”
“They call it threading,” Martin tells him. “I think it’s some kind of relationship marker? Like a, uh, a weird soulmate thing, or something?”
Jon shakes his head, still frowning. “Not soulmates,” he says, in that tone that says he’s knowing something out of thin air. “It grows. Not always, not in every relationship. But it marks the deepest relationships of a person’s life, the most profound connections. It’s seen as a sort of…marriage, though not necessarily romantic in nature. Similar legal status, though.”
“You mean we’re married here?”
Jon smiles. “Yes, I suppose you could say we are.”
“Wow.” Martin isn’t exactly opposed to the idea. “I kind of like the sound of that.”
He returns his hand to Jon’s, the red cord seeming to glow brighter as their fingers lace together. It’s not going to be easy, getting started in a whole new world. And there’s…a lot they need to talk about; that’s not going to be easy, either. But they’re together, and alive, and they have a thread connecting them, that grew because they chose each other—because they keep choosing each other, and Martin believes that it’s enough.
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Walking on eggshells
So this is my first own story here. I hope it is written in an understandable way. (Please ignore any grammatical errors. English is not my mother tongue.)
Title: Walking on eggshells
Words: 6761
Warnings: language (some explicit words), harassment and insults, heartbreak
Summary:
Daryl and reader have been close friends since the early days in Atlanta. They are deeply in love with each other but have no clue about it.
At some point new people join the community, including a young woman who is immediately after Daryl.
Reader is not exactly thin, no size zero, but also not fat, rather curvy, feminine. Even in this apocalyptic time. (you are just the way you are.)
Daryl has withdrawn more and more from reader, avoids contact. Reader believes he does that because he now has a perfect woman by his side.
However, Daryl avoids reader because he does not know how to deal with his feelings.
One day reader goes on a run that goes wrong. To save their group, the reader does a suicide stunt, that can cost her life.
--------------------------------------------------
"Ya even know what ya're doin’?"
Those were the first words Daryl Dixon had ever said to you.
It was still at camp in Atlanta. Daryl stood over you, the sun behind him, as he looked down at you as you made a stew from a basket full of leaves and mushrooms.
“Believe it or not, I know what I'm doing here. My mother taught me as a child which mushrooms and plants are edible, and which can be used as medicine."
He nudged his nose up in a nod.
"If ya say so."
With that he dropped something in front of you.
"Maybe the whole thin’ tastes like somethin’ with that," he said before he turned around and made his way back to his brother.
Your eyes followed him - confused. Only then did you notice that he had thrown about a dozen freshly hunted squirrels in front of you.
Maybe the grumpy redneck was not that bad after all, you thought to yourself with a smile as you started to skin and gut the dead animals.
It was not long before a friendship developed between you. You were the only one he really let near him after the disappearance of his brother and Sophia's death. And after the farm was overrun by Walkers, he was by your side to comfort you.
He was always there for you, just as you were for him. You cared for each other.
But you only noticed how deep the feelings really were on your side when Daryl - after the incident with Woodbury - had turned his back on you and everyone else and disappeared into the woods. Just to be with his brother.
The realization that you were infinitely in love with the withdrawn redneck hit you hard. And just seeing him walk away hurt you so much that you could not breathe.
Without knowing it, Daryl had broken your heart into a million pieces.
It felt like he took a part of you with him.
More and more you withdrew from the others. From time to time, you even slept in the old management office of the Prison, far away from the cell block, from everyone else, from your family. You just wanted to be left alone in your grief and heartbreak.
In the first time you had gone through hell emotionally and a psychological breakdown would not have been long in coming. And if it had not been for Maggie, you probably would not have found your way back.
She had been your solid rock and, without you really noticing, had become your best friend - your sister.
And after a while it got better. It did not hurt that much anymore. Although it was not quite true. It still hurt - hurt infinitely - but the distances that those waves of grief hit you grew larger.
And then suddenly Daryl was back.
It was a shock to you.
And the moment he moved back into his cell in the cell block, you moved out. There was no trace of you or your belongings in the whole building anymore.
Quietly, and without anyone noticing, you moved into the management's office - permanently. The thought of being so close to him - physically - without actually being able to be close to him was just unbearable for you.
And so you had retreated.
Daryl did not seem to mind. It almost seemed as if he had not even really noticed it.
You hardly had any contact with each other. He rarely talked to you, and if he did, then only what was necessary and as monosyllabic as possible. He even seemed to be avoiding you.
But that's how life works - hard and unfair.
And you cannot choose who to fall in love with.
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return. But it only worked like that in movies and love songs, right? It did not work that way in real life, at least not for you.
As time goes by you had devoted all your concentration to your small farm. Your mother taught you how to handle plants as a child. In your previous life - before the apocalypse - you also had a vegetable garden with which you mostly tended yourself. So you knew the job and it was easy for you.
You lived in your own little world where you worked side by side with Rick and spent your meager free time with Maggie. Sometimes Carol would join you, but you had already noticed that she somehow always dropped a few comments about Daryl.
You did not want to talk about the redneck, let alone think about him. So, you ignored her as best you could - or at least her suggestions.
But it was not that easy. Your whole prison family knew how deep your feelings were for Daryl. No matter how hard you try to hide it, hide yourself from it.
Then Woodbury fell. New people came to the Prison and with them a young woman - Michelle. Probably only in her mid-twenties, model type, blonde, pretty. A typical homecoming queen.
To you, she made it seem like she had never worked hard in her entire life. She was the type of person who always muddled through, for her own benefit.
And just a few days after moving in, she was permanently on Daryl's heels. She asked questions, talked to him, spent most of the days near him.
But worst of all, she was openly flirting with the man you loved, and he did not seem to mind. Your stomach cramped painfully at the sight, and you had not been able to eat for two days.
Your heart, painstakingly patched together, broke one more time. After that you had avoided Daryl and his blond girl for almost a week, avoided them like the devil had shunned holy water.
But it could not go on like that. And at a certain point you realized: as long as Daryl was happy, nothing else mattered. At least for you.
To make matters worse, there was that cruel little voice in your head that kept whispering to you why Daryl was interested in Michelle and not you. It kept talking to you, all the time.
And then the little wheels in your head started spinning until you were caught in a vortex of thoughts.
She was thin and delicate; you were rather well built.
Her shoulders were narrow; yours were broad.
Her stomach was flat; but you had unmistakable love handles.
She had a firm, shaped ass; you childbearing hips - as your mother used to call it.
Her golden blonde hair always fell in gentle waves down her back. You always had your y/h/c ones in a messy bun. And after hours of hard work in the gardens, you always looked like a half-plucked chicken.
You would never have any chance of comparing yourself with this beautiful, gorgeous woman. Michelle was perfect.
You were just you.
But the worst part of this whole thing was that this woman could not leave you alone. She had won, the man was hers. What else did she want from you?!
Every now and then she dropped small comments, out of the earshot of others. But so that you could hear them very well.
"Hard to believe how one can be so well fed.”
“Are you secretly eating your way through our supplies?"
"Given your size, a whole bunch of Walkers could get fed up with you for a week."
It hurt, hurt infinitely. But you were willing to endure everything. You did not want to make a scene. Did not want to get upset, maybe to draw more unwanted attention to yourself.
In the depths of your heart, you only wanted one thing. You just wanted Daryl to be happy. Everything else does not matter to you.
But what you failed to notice in all your self-doubt and self-sacrifice was: Daryl was not happy.
You were both blind to each other's intentions, had no idea why the other acted the way he was doing.
But the inner circle of your family, especially Maggie and Carol, knew what was going on. And having to watch the two of you - while you did not notice it yourself - slowly but surely drove everyone to despair.
The whole thing was like a fucking soap opera!
You and Daryl had barely spent time together and avoided each other as best you could, so you had not noticed all the little signs that spoke volumes to all the others.
How his ears turn red when you have been near him.
How he sometimes looked at you a little longer than others.
How he changed his shifts in the guard tower just so he could take care of you when you were near the fences during your work.
The moment Daryl faced you for the first time since his return, the floor was torn from under his feet. When he saw your y/e/c eyes looking at him, he felt his heart swell. Warmth spread in his chest and he had thousands of butterflies in his stomach. The redneck had never felt anything like that before and it terrified him.
It was something he could not handle.
He knew he screwed up when he left you because of his brother. The way you behaved towards him was unmistakable. Daryl did not want to endanger the little friendship that was still between you. He could not risk losing you for good.
So he gave you your freedom and just adored from a distance - without you noticing.
But from a certain point in time all his thinking was focused only on you. Or rather, to hide what he really felt about you - how much he loved you.
Daryl was so busy hiding the love he felt for you that he did not even notice how much this young woman from Woodbury was constantly flirting with him. Of course, it had not escaped him that she ran after him like a lost puppy; and yes that annoyed him.
But weren't all of these newcomers a pain in the ass?
He was not interested in this blonde woman, not a little bit. Daryl does not care about her; he does not even listen to her most of the time.
If he was honest, he did not even know her name.
---------------------------------
In the last few weeks, it had become routine for the redneck to be on guard duty in the early hours of the morning. Not just because he was an early riser- and finally got some peace up here from the intrusive people from Woodbury - but because you went to work in the vegetable gardens shortly after sunrise every day.
And from high up there he had the opportunity to watch and admire you unnoticed.
You have always been used to working hard, and everyone who saw you knew that you had no problem with it and that you could lend a hand. Rick once joked that you could overshadow any Amish when it came to your work ethic. You just shrugged your shoulders and replied that you had no problem with that as long as you didn't have to pray for hours.
So you and Daryl spent the mornings together - without your having a clue about it. You, lovingly watching over the plants in the vegetable patches, he on the guard tower, lovingly watching over you.
As the sun rose higher and higher on its way across the sky, it made the sweat shimmer on your skin as you patiently devoted yourself to each of your tasks without taking a break. The black tank top you wore on that hot summer day stuck to your body and framed it perfectly. Your figure was like an hourglass, and each of your curves came out sensually.
At least as far as Daryl could tell. For him you were perfect, just like you were. He could watch you for hours without getting tired of it, could watch you for the rest of his life.
Only when the crotch of his jeans became uncomfortably tight did the redneck look away from you. His thoughts had taken a suggestive course, and the images that emerged in his head were by far no longer suitable for minors. Daryl would surely spend this evening in his fist again - dreaming of how you would feel lying under him, how you would smell, how you would taste, and what sweet noises would come over your lips if he would touch you where you needed it most.
"Everything's okay," he heard a familiar voice next to him.
Damn it, did the time really go that fast? Was his shift already over?
"Are you okay? You seem a little distracted to me."
Carol had come to relieve him. But Daryl, in his fascination for you, had not even noticed her.
"’m okay."
"Yes, of course, and your thoughts were on the task in front of you the whole time."
There was unmistakable amusement in Carol's voice. With a knowing smile, the woman leaned on the railing and watched you work for a while.
"Can you please finally tell Y/N that you love her. So that we can finally all get on with our lives? It's really not nice to see you two walking around each other on eggshells."
Daryl was embarrassed. He was caught with his hand in the cookie jar by Carol. Still, he tried to stay as cool as possible.
"I have no idea what ya're talkin’ about."
But the woman was not easily fooled. She knew very well what was going on in the man in front of her. Just as she knew how you felt about him.
"I hear what you say, but your ears say something else.”
Daryl flinched. Sometimes he hated the way his body betrayed him.
“What the hell,” Carol had to keep from laughing “I didn't even know that they could get so red."
"Stop it woman."
Again and again, Carol tried to get her friend to finally confess his love to you. Because in her eyes you were both wasting valuable time. And being able to spend time with loved ones was the most important thing now.
You had not noticed any of this. You were too busy tying up the tomato plants and removing the leaves so that they brought the greatest possible yield. After all, many mouths had to be fed, and you all needed supplies for the coming winter.
And it was precisely these necessary supplies that prompted Rick to ask you to go on a run the next day with others. Of course, you immediately agreed, after all, everyone went on these runs at some point. It wouldn't be your first time, and certainly not your last time, that you would take part in something like this.
But who could say that in these uncertain times?
What you did not know at the time was, that Michelle would be there too. Maybe then you would have refused. But now you sat in the back seat of the pickup truck in silence, staring stubbornly out the window.
Michelle just a few inches away from you.
It had been clear to Maggie from the start that this constellation would not bring any good. However, even the young woman would not have expected what dimensions the whole thing would take. And in what a heartbreaking catastrophe it would end.
During the entire journey Glenn and Maggie tried to break the mood. The four of you sat in the truck and drove a few hours until you finally arrived at your destination.
It should be a simple thing - in and out, quietly, quickly, unseen.
But what no one had expected was the behavior that Michelle had displayed when it came to doing her part. She had absolutely no desire to be actually a part in this job.
And Michelle let the three of you feel that very clearly.
She neither wanted to help find the necessary supplies nor carry them; even found it outrageous that she had been asked by Rick to join in and risk her life. She had never had to do this before, why now?
It took you so much strength to stay calm and not yell your opinion on Michelle's face - or beat her across the street.
You did not like this woman, not a bit. For you, she was a narrow-minded, self-centered, selfish slut who cared about only herself. And what Daryl saw in her was incomprehensible to you.
But when Michelle began to risk all of your lives because of her loud behavior, even Maggie's patience ran out. The eternal insults in your direction were just the cherry on top. Maggie would have liked nothing more than to give this snotty brat a huge slap in the face.
But to make a shitty day even more shitty, that was unfortunately your smallest problem.
Michelle's loud complaints drew the attention of more and more walkers, and at some point, you had difficulties getting back to your car.
You had just successfully cleared a pharmacy when you saw the horde slowly approaching on the street.
That was by far the worst scenario, and your greatest fear.
It was all happening so quickly, and the only thing you thought was that Michelle had to make it back to the Prison alive. You could not risk Daryl losing someone he loved again. No matter what a fucking bitch she was. You knew it would destroy him.
The way back to the pickup was long and the Walkers unfortunately closer than wanted. The heavy backpacks did not make it any easier to escape them quickly. So you stayed back when Maggie, Glenn, and Michelle started running back towards the truck. You knew your partners needed a distraction to make it through.
And what could be a better distraction than you.
"Come to me you damn motherfuckers! Here I am! Come and catch me you bloody bastards! You ugly fuckers!" you screamed on top of your lungs, tried to make as much noise as possible.
The walkers slowly turned to you and came to hunt you down - to kill you. You would be their lunch. Scared to death your heart was beating so hard in your chest that you thought it was about to pop out.
From that point on, you could not remember anything. Your brain just shut down, went into survival mode. You only ran on instinct, no more active thinking.
In a way, like the Walkers you tried to escape from.
Maggie turned when she heard your voice, and the blood froze in her veins. She thought you were right behind her, but you were still near the entrance to the pharmacy and the horde of walkers was on the way to you.
"Y/N!" her voice was desperate.
She was about to turn back to you – to help you - but Glenn could not and would not let that happen.
"Come on Maggie, we have to get the car. We'll come back for her; I promise."
Glenn took his girlfriend's hand and pulled her forcefully with him.
Michelle had not noticed anything of that, she was the first to take a seat in the pickup and firmly locked the passenger door behind her.
When Glenn finally started the engine and Maggie - now in the back seat - turned her eyes back to the pharmacy entrance, you were gone.
Your best friend was in a panic.
"Where is she? Oh my god, where is she?"
Only then did she see you on the canopy of the building - the backpack with the bandages still firmly strapped around you.
"On the roof, Glenn, she's on the roof! We have to get her!" the young woman screamed in desperation.
She could not and did not want to lose her friend. Not now and not like this.
“and preferably before these things figure out how to climb”, was Glenn's addition when he turned the truck and drove towards the pharmacy.
"Are you crazy," squeaked Michelle, "do you want to die just to maybe save her life?"
Maggie's eyes darkened, and Glenn realized immediately that she had now reached the limit. Another word from Michelle and his girlfriend would feed this woman to the Walkers with no trace of guilt.
"You shut up now, bitch! You're to blame for all this shit. If you’d shut your damn mouth and done what we've all done hundreds of times before, none of this would have happened! These fucking things would never have noticed us."
Michelle gasped to give Maggie a neat answer, but Maggie was faster.
"If I hear one more word from you, if you just beep, I'll feed you to these Walkers!"
Michelle's reply was interrupted by the gruesome sound of breaking bones as Glenn brutally drove through the horde of walkers who were now confused and trying to understand what was going on around them.
You were still standing on the roof. Your gaze was focused on the scene before you but not fearful, as if your self was not there at that moment.
"You have to jump," Glenn called to you when he brought the pickup to a stop right under the roof.
And with that you jumped onto the back of the truck. The fall was higher than expected, and there was a thump as you hit the flatbed. Immediately Glenn had accelerated the car again and drove away as fast as he could in the direction of Prison.
Desperate, Maggie kept calling your name, but you just did not answer. Maybe you were in shock. After all, it was not common practice to voluntarily sacrifice oneself as a meal for these monsters.
A few miles out of town, Glenn finally stopped the car, and Maggie was by your side in an instant. But she was not prepared for what she saw. You were passed out and a small pool of blood had formed under your head. The thud she had heard - when you landed - had been your head when it hit the loading wall.
"Oh my God."
Immediately Maggie was at your side, looking for your pulse with trembling hands. And there it was - weak - but she felt it.
"Please open your eyes Y/N/N", the young woman pleaded as she lovingly brushed the hair off your face.
"Maggie?" Glenn's voice was timid, almost frightened, as he stood next to the pickup and stared at your broken body.
"We have to get her to my father as soon as possible!"
Maggie's harsh words seemed to loosen Glenn from his stupor.
"Okay, no problem, I can do that."
And with that Glenn was back behind the wheel and gave full throttle. Maggie stayed with you on the flatbed, took off your backpack and trying to stop the bleeding on your head.
-------------------------------------
Rick and Daryl were in the courtyard of the prison, discussing the next runs when the pickup truck drove through the gates with screeching tires. It was immediately clear to both of them that something bad must have happened.
Without wasting time, the two men ran towards the car.
"What happened", Rick called out.
But Daryl could not hear Glenn’s answer. Everything around him fell silent and vanished when he saw you - bleeding, passed out - in Maggie's arms.
Without thinking further, he jumped on the flatbed and leaned over you. He caressed your pale cheek with trembling fingertips before desperately looking for a pulse on your neck.
Frightened, he held his breath until he felt it, your heartbeat.
Even but so weak.
"We have to take her to my father."
Maggie had not even finished the sentence when Daryl had already taken you in his arms - bridal style - and was on the way to the infirmary with you.
With a lover's desperation, he clung to you as he ran all the way.
“Don't do this to me. I beg ya, please don't die to me."
-----------------------------------
Daryl never left your side for a moment. He sat like a statue and held your hand. He did not say a word, did not move. Neither when Hershel examined you, nor when he sewed your laceration.
He listened quietly to the vet's diagnosis and what he thought might happen in the next few hours or days.
Only when Maggie came with a bowl of water and a cloth to wash off the dirt and blood did he break free.
"Let me …" Daryls voice cracked, and the knot in his throat made it difficult for him to say anything else.
He took everything from Maggie's hand and put it on the little table next to your bed.
The redneck looked broken. The young woman could clearly see how much he loved you. And she knew that if you died, Daryl would vanish. He would just cease to exist.
“I'm so sorry,” Maggie said quietly, and a tear rolled down her cheek, “I thought she was right behind me. But … but she wasn't."
"It's not ya’ fault." Daryl's voice was barely perceptible.
Slowly he dipped the cloth into the warm water and began to carefully wash the blood off your face.
"Daryl I’m ... I’m"
"I know."
“Y/N is strong, she is tough. She will be okay."
Daryl just nodded absently while he concentrated fully on washing the blood off your temple.
And so Maggie left the redneck alone with you in the infirmary.
With trembling hands, he began to clean your neck. Little by little he washed your whole body- took care of you quietly and lovingly- making dirt, blood and sweat disappear, made you as clean as he saw you before you went on that fucking run.
Then he sat there, hour after hour, just looking at you, holding your hand. You looked so fragile. You lay there injured and pale, almost like a corpse. Only your quiet, even breathing told Daryl that you were still with him.
Inside Daryl, everything contracted painfully at the thought that you might not wake up again. Slowly he leaned towards your face. He looked at every birthmark, every wrinkle, every freckle, as if he wanted to burn them into his memory.
“I don't know if ya can hear me,” he finally began with a trembling voice.
“But I ... I ... I “, he had to laugh bitterly.
“’m a bloody coward. Why can' I jus’ say it?"
Daryl took a deep breath, he had to get his fear under control somehow. He had to tell you. He would never forgive himself if he did not do it now.
What if you died.
"I love ya Y/N. 've been in love with ya since ... I actually have no idea how long. But I love ya. I should have told ya much earlier. I don' know why I didn't. But I love ya."
Daryl fought back tears but lost.
"Oh God please, I beg ya, please come back to me. Give me a chance to show ya how much I love ya. Just one chance to prove myself to ya." and with that Daryl collapsed on top of you, crying and sobbing.
----------------------------------
It took you two days to open your eyes again. Two days in which Daryl had not left your side. Two days of going through hell and back again. In which even he had sent a quick prayer or two towards heaven.
It was as if you had been awakened from a deep sleep far too abruptly. And it took a while before you knew where you were. You felt dizzy and tired. Your head hurt like hell. And you were confused.
First, why you were in the infirmary, and second, why Daryl was sitting next to your bed looking like he had not slept in days – your hand in his.
"Hey," he whispered, "how are ya feelin’?"
"Tired", your voice was scratchy from not using it for a long time, "my head hurts."
“You hit ya head bad. Hershel had to patch ya up."
"What happened?"
"Can't ya remember."
"No ... Yes …. but not ... not really ... only up to a certain point."
You were nervous, were not used to Daryl being so close to you. You did not want to make a fuss about yourself, and yet you liked the attention this man was giving you.
“I can still remember the horde of Walkers who came up to me, but then … nothing ... I can't remember what happened then."
You had not noticed that tears had started to run down your temples until Daryl lovingly wiped them away with his thumb.
"Hey ... shh ... take it easy. Everythin’ is okay. Everyone’s fine. Please don't get upset, ya have a concussion. Hershel says ya need a lot of rest now."
And suddenly you were silent. Never before had Daryl spoken to you with such a loving tone in his voice or had touched you in this way. You did not understand what was happening here.
But he said you had a concussion. Perhaps it was to blame for this filter through which you noticed this whole interaction.
“I'll let Hershel know that ya woke up. I'll be right back; promise."
Confused, you looked after the redneck. Something had happened that you had no idea about. But you did not want to worry about it now. Your head hurt too much, and you just wanted to sleep.
---------------------------------------
When you opened your eyes again, Hershel was sitting in the chair on which you had previously seen Daryl.
"It's nice to see you again with your eyes open Y/N," said the older man with a friendly smile, "you worried us very much."
"‘m sorry. "
"It's okay. How do you feel?"
"Okay. Tired, head hurts."
"Something else?"
"No, except that I feel like I'm wrapped in cotton wool."
Hershel sat and listened to you before nodding.
"Daryl said you can't remember what happened."
"Not really."
"Don't worry, that's nothing unusual with this type of head injury."
He patted your shoulder encouragingly.
"Will I be able to remember one day?"
"You know kid, sometimes it is really good not to be able to remember some things."
"Probably."
“But now you should rest first. I know you have questions, but answers will come later. After all, you have to regain your strength."
------------------------------------------
You knew you had slept, but not for how long. Because the next time you opened your eyes, Carol was sitting on that same chair. But there was something else. Could it be that it smelled of her venison ragout?
"How are you, Y/N/N?"
"Still tired, but the headache is almost gone."
"Good to hear. You gave us all a real scare."
"I'm sorry."
"Especially Daryl. I've never seen him so frightened."
You looked questioningly at the older woman next to you. You were used to it that she kept dropping allusions about Daryl - at least when she talked to you. But you just did not understand that statement at all.
Daryl was never afraid of anything. Why would he ...
"Well. Are you hungry?" Carol had a friendly smile on her face when it broke your train of thought.
At that moment, your stomach made a loud rumbling noise.
“I'll take that as a yes,” smirked the gray-haired woman, “Daryl went hunting so that I could cook this. He knows it’s your favorite."
Unsure you looked at Carol before you took the bowl from her hand and slowly began to eat. It was true, that was your favorite food - if there was such a thing at all in times like this.
"You know that he loves you," she suddenly began out of nowhere
"Of course, we are family," did you try to belittle the matter.
“Okay, let's reformulate the whole thing again. Daryl is in love with you, absolutely and one hundred percent madly in love with you. A 'you're the only one for me' love. Without any misunderstanding."
When she said that, you choked on the stew right away and now you sat in front of her, coughing and snorting.
“And I know you love him too. So don't try to deny it at all. Everyone here knows that. Or how blind do you think we are? Although ... apart from Daryl. He has no idea. He probably wouldn't even understand if it bites his ass.”
At this picture you had to laugh.
“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith in order to reach their goal. You two really have to start talking clearly to each other. You two belong together like pepper and salt Do you actually notice how much you waste your precious time? Neither of us knows how much of it is left. You should know that now, because honey it was damn close."
---------------------------------------------
Sleeping was your main occupation right now. A concussion took time and a lot of rest to heal. So it wasn't uncommon for your life to consist of short scenes at the moment.
With a sound - like a purring cat - you stretched in the hospital bed before opening your eyes. You no longer had any sense of time, and only the sunlight falling through the barred windows told you that it was probably afternoon.
"Hey."
Only now did you notice that Daryl was with you again.
"Ya feel better?"
"Yes."
Daryl seemed kind of nervous. But that wasn't possible, why should he?
"I've been here before, but ya slept and I don't want to wake ya", his words just gushed out of him.
Could it be? Was he nervous?
"Okay ... yes ... uhm ..."
You were easily overwhelmed with this situation, and somehow your head just seemed to have been swept clean. You could not find any words.
"We take turns. Hershel thinks there should always be someone with ya. Because of the concussion. Rick has already been here, and Maggie of course."
"And Carol."
"Yea."
"I wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"For the food. Carol said you went hunting especially for it."
"No problem."
“I still appreciate it. And for ... that you are here ... with me."
He nudged his nose up in a nod.
And then there was silence. The conversation with Carol kept going through your head. What she said. Could it really be true?
You knew that Daryl has always been more of a man of action than a man of words. And it was clear to you that if you did not take the first step now, you two would probably never get anywhere.
"Carol spoke to me", you started when you sat up
The man across from you was obviously nervous now. You could tell all too clearly by the fact that he was starting to chew the inside of his cheek.
"With me too."
"Apparently something like an intervention is going on here, could that be", you smiled, trying to loosen up the mood a bit.
"Seems so."
Daryl looked at you for a few moments. You could see the wheels turning in his head.
"I'm a coward, Y/N," he finally began.
You had expected a lot, but not a statement like that.
"No, you’re not. How did you come up with such an idea?"
"I was a complete idiot and too cowardly."
"What are you talking about Daryl."
In your opinion, this was going completely wrong right now. You actually wanted to tell him you loved him, and now it seemed to end in a vortex of self-doubt.
"I love ya, Y/N.”
And with that your thoughts became silent.
“I am terribly in love with ya. And out of fear I didn't say anything. But then I saw ya lying on the flatbed of that fucking truck, covered in blood and passed out. At that moment, my heart stopped. And I swore to myself that when ya're okay again, when ya've got throu’ this, that I'll finally tell ya what I feel for ya. Y/N I love ya. "
During Daryl's monologue you forgot how to breathe and just listened intently while thousands of butterflies fluttered around in your stomach like they're having a bloody party there.
It took you some time to realize that Daryl was waiting for a reaction from you as he gnawed his thumb in fear.
"I love you too," it gushed out of you before you even realized you had said something.
And then there was silence again. You and Daryl just looked at each other. Unsure what to do now. After all, you were both in uncharted waters.
"And ... and now," you asked uncertainly.
"Don't know," Daryl just shrugged.
"I mean ... um ... are ... are we ... together now?"
You carefully ventured out of cover.
"Um, yea ... if ya ... if ya want that."
"Oh my god, yes please", you replied in one breath.
Suddenly the tension between you had dissolved and you both had to laugh. It was so surreal. Two adults acted like teenagers in love who had no idea what to do.
But then Daryl slowly leaned in towards you. Your heart was pounding when you could finally feel his breath on your face. But before your lips touched, he stopped. He wanted to give you the opportunity to evade him if you did not want this.
But you wanted it, wanted it more than anything else in your life. And when you had overcome the last few inches, you finally felt his lips on yours.
The feeling was amazing. As if at that moment an electric shock had run through your whole body, and at the same time it was like coming home.
Everything around you no longer existed, was no longer important. Here and now, it was just you and Daryl. The way his lips moved with yours, how his fingers slowly ran up your arms until they were in your hair.
Everything was so intense. And when you finally parted to take a much-needed breath, Daryl leaned his forehead against yours.
"Ya have no idea how long I've been dreamin’ about this."
"Probably as long as me."
-------------------------
When Rick was about to visit Y/N in the early evening hours, he saw Carol and Maggie standing in the door to the infirmary.
"Everything's okay," he wanted to know.
The two women turned around with their index fingers over their lips.
"Shhhh."
Both did at the same time.
"Be quiet and come here," Carol whispered, "you really have to see that."
Rick approached the two women curiously. What could be so interesting that Carol and Maggie were half-hidden behind the door, staring into the infirmary?
He was confused, but when he saw what fascinated them so much, his heart swell. A satisfied smile played on his lips, as he was seeing what was going on less than five paces away.
Daryl was lying - half sitting - on the bed. His back supported on the wall behind him. Y/N was snuggled close to him, head on his chest and her arm wrapped around him. Absently, the fingers of his right hand traced patterns on her upper arm as he read to her from an old paperback.
Everyone could see the love that bound these two people. And thank God the two finally understood that.
"Seems like we finally have a happy ending," said the former deputy with a broad smile.
"Thank God", Maggie exhaled, "nobody wanted to watch this puppy love shit anymore."
“Yes,” laughed Rick, “but you have to admit there was something exciting about the whole thing. As if it had been our very own little soap opera."
"You're right, but I prefer my best friend happy."
"And what do we do now. I mean this seemingly endless heartbreak theater has come obviously to an end."
"Gossip- Rick is afraid he'll get bored?"
Maggie's voice was teasing.
"No, that's not how it was meant."
"Don't worry, Rick," said Carol with a smile, "I think the whole thing has a sequel anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, has someone told Michelle yet?"
All three looked at each other with big eyes before they having to resist laughing convulsively.
This story could get really interesting after all, they agreed.
part two
#Daryl Dixon#Daryl Dixon x Reader#daryl dixon fanfiction#Daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon x plus size reader#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon#daryl imagines#daryl x reader#daryl dixon drabbles#daryl dixon fluff#daryl dixon imagine
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Oh god. No. Not here. Not now. Not with these people. Eddie can't breathe, but he can't let them know he can't breathe. He loosens his tie just a little bit - the one Ana went back for after Eddie was discharged from the hospital. His nervous laughter is really a way to suck some oxygen back into his lungs, and when a heavy hand touches his elbow, and the smile on its owner’s face distorts. He's going to pass out if he doesn't move, doesn't flee from this spiraling, spinning disaster.
"Could you, uh, could you excuse me?" He asks and plasters on his best charming smile, hoping his voice isn't as high and squeaky as he thinks it is.
He catches Ana's eye from across the room as he moves through what feels like a sea of strangers. She's worried, but Eddie doesn't stop to explain anything and continues his way to the bathroom, where he locks himself inside and lets himself fall apart the way his body was begging to.
His fingers curl tight the porcelain of the sink, and he tries, tries to slow his breathing. Finally, he tells himself to stop it in the mirror, even smacks himself across the cheek, but nothing changes.
There's a soft knock on the door, and Ana's gentle voice comes through the cracks, "Eddie? Are you okay?"
"Fine," he grits out.
"Are you having another attack?"
"I said I'm fine!" his anger and frustration echo too loud against the tile of the bathroom. , get a grip, Diaz. "Can you just get Chris some cake? I'll be right out."
Ana's fading footsteps are the only answer he gets, and Eddie focuses back on himself. He tries to remember what the pamphlet from the hospital said, or rather, what Buck said it says the night he found it buried on Eddie's counter and read it to him, but his brain is just a white-hot sear of nothing. Eddie pulls out his phone and dials Buck - no time to look for his name in the phone book. He doesn't answer, and Eddie nearly throws the phone into the sink.
"Damn!"
But it's Sunday, and Buck said something about Taylor coming over on Sunday, so, of course, he isn't answering. Eddie thinks for a second, in desperation, he'll call Bobby, but then his phone vibrates, and he sees Buck's smile fill the screen. He rubs his thumb over it before swiping to answer.
"Buck?" He answers.
"Hey, you called?" Buck asks on the other end of the line, slightly fuzzy, but Eddie can hear the smile in his voice, and the vice around his heart loosens just a little bit.
"Buck?" He asks again as if he can't process anything else.
"Uh, yea. Are you okay?"
"No. Panic attack."
"But aren't you at that christening?"
"Yes."
"Shit."
"Buck, help.” He hates how desperate he must sound, but Buck’s already seen him at his most desperate, trying to hold onto his life and knowing, instinctively, that Buck would help him. He would save him.
Buck always saves him.
" What have you tried?" Buck asks.
"Not much. Nothing. I just, I called you.”
"That’s good. Where are you?"
"Bathroom."
"You need to focus on something besides the panic. So, find me four things you see, Eddie. Try to be specific."
"Okay,” Eddie looks around the bathroom. He sees a million times too many things, and it takes him a second to focus in on something, “Uh, a pink shower curtain,” like your pink sweater that you say is salmon, but Buck, it’s pink. “white rugs,” dazzling white like your teeth when you smile, and that patch of skin that sometimes peeks through under your waistband. “a bristly hairbrush,” god, you’re hair is always so perfect, “and, and curtains on the window. They’re sheer; pink too,” just like that sweater.
"Good,” Buck soothes, “now, three things you can smell."
"Umm, vanilla soap,” sometimes you smell like vanilla, and sugar - like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, “cinnamon toothpaste,” like in your bathroom, crumpled up in the corner, “my cologne,” you bought me this bottle for Christmas.
"That’s good, Eddie. Two things you can hear."
"I hear people - outside the door."
"Not them,” Buck tells him, “Two other things. Ignore that sound."
"I hear - I hear crickets outside the open window, and I hear...you. Your voice in my ear, your breath,” I always hear you, even when I don’t want to.
"One thing you can touch," Buck says quietly, and Eddie takes a shaking breath, presses his hand over his chest.
"My heartbeat."
"Is it slower than before?"
"Yes."
"Good. Do you think you're okay?"
“Yea. I um, I’m probably just going to go home, sleep it off.”
“Good idea.”
“Thank you, Buck.”
“Of course.”
Eddie hangs up and slips his phone back into his pocket. He isn’t panicking anymore, but he doesn’t feel great. He splashes his face with water and tries to smooth down all the places he’s rumpled before he opens the bathroom door and finds Ana on the other side, Christopher sitting next to her on the floor with a plate of cake in his lap.
“Are you okay?” she asks, putting a hand to his cheek, and it burns where there was just cold air against the drying water.
Eddie nods, “I’m okay. But I think I’m probably gonna go. In case it happens again.”
“Let me get my purse.”
“No, you stay. It’s your family. Just tell them I got sick.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yea,” he leans down and kisses her cheek before helping Chris up.
Neither says much to the other in the car, but Eddie chuckles when Chris rips his suit jacket off the moment the door is closed. He sees the silhouette on the front steps against the fading sun before he gets the truck parked and shakes his head at the realization it’s Buck.
"What are you doing here?" he asks when Buck jogs up to him.
"I didn't want you to be alone when you got home,” Buck answers quietly and then turns his attention to Christopher once the back door is open, and he’s climbing out, “Hey, buddy, did you have a good time? You look pretty handsome in that suit."
Chris rolls his eyes, "that's what everyone kept telling me. But then they said I would have looked better if I cut my hair.
“Well, you know what? I like this long, floppy look,” Buck ruffles his hand through Chris’s hair. It had definitely gotten long, and maybe a little out of control, but he didn’t want to cut it, and Eddie only remembered being dragged to the barbershop every five weeks to have his hair clipped, no matter how much he begged to keep it just a little bit longer.
Chris smiles, “thanks, Buck.”
“Do you think you could give me a minute with your dad?” Buck asks when they all get inside the house. Eddie flips on the lamp by the door, and Christopher nods and leaves for his room, closing the door behind him.
“I’m fine, Buck,” Eddie says, walking further into the house, turning on lights as he goes.
“Okay, but do you wanna talk about what happened?”
“No.”
“Was it too many people?”
Eddie huffs out a laugh, “I’m half Mexican, Buck; I grew up going to huge parties, family and friends always over on the weekend. That wasn’t it.”
“What was it, then?”
“Why does it matter?” he doesn’t mean to sound as exasperated as he does, but sometimes Buck just brings it out of him.
“Because if you can figure out what’s triggering you, you can figure out how to control the panic better.”
“I don’t panic.”
“You didn’t, but now you are. So let’s try and figure out why.”
Eddie sighs, “can I have a beer while we do it, at least?”
“If I get one too.”
They go into the kitchen, and Eddie takes two beers from the fridge and cracks one open before handing it to Buck. He watches him take a long, slow sip. Eddie’s hands start to shake around the glass, and he forces himself to look away, down at the shine of his shoes to keep whatever is trying to rise pushed down.
“Was there like some kind of a loud noise?” Buck asks.
“No. It isn’t - loud noises have never bothered me.”
“Things have changed a little bit, though.”
“I don’t think they have anything to do with being shot. I know no one wants to believe me, but I’m fine about that.”
“Maybe no one wants to believe you because you were shot. That doesn’t happen to most people even once, and it’s happened to you twice.”
“I know, but I swear to you, I’m okay. I don’t think that’ what this about.”
“If you say so. Let’s recount the night then. What happened right before it started?”
“Ana’s great aunt, she - she said I was perfect for Ana - a good addition to their family.”
Buck takes another swig from the bottle; his eyebrows are knitted in thought. If Chim or Hen were there, they’d make a joke about him not straining himself, and they’d only be kidding, but Eddie knows Buck has a lot of thoughts, a lot of good, deep ones, that maybe Eddie is the only one to have ever heard, “And didn’t you say the first time was after the salesman referred to Ana as Chris’s mom?”
“Yea,” Eddie says quietly.
“Do you think maybe you’re just having a hard time with how serious your relationship is getting?”
“It’s not getting that serious.”
“Eddie, she introduced you to like all her family, you went to an important family event, her great-aunt thinks your excellent husband material.”
Eddie’s breath catches in his throat, and he coughs, trying to force it out, but it sits there like a bubble trying to choke him, and the kitchen starts to spin, turquoise spiraling into stainless steel, spiraling into Buck.
“Stop, stop saying things like that,” he sputters out.
“You’re starting to panic again, aren’t you?” Buck asks.
“When the hell did it get so serious? I was just - I don’t know what I was doing. I liked her, but I didn’t mean-”
Eddie backs against the counter next to the sink, he tries to loosen his tie, but he can’t make his fingers work. Then Buck crosses the space between them and replaces Eddie’s hand with his own, pulling down on the knot and unbuttoning Eddie’s collar. “Breathe; breathe,” he whispers to him and puts his hands on Eddie’s shoulders, and he’s so close Eddie has no choice but to look at him. He feels his hand in Buck’s, slowly pressing against the other man’s chest.
“Breathe with it,” Buck says of his heartbeat, and Eddie closes his eyes. It takes a few moments, but soon his breath is in sync with Buck’s heartbeat, and he’s not sure he’s ever felt this kind of calm before.
“Okay?” Buck asks.
“No, but yes.”
“I’m gonna ask you something, and I need you to be honest - not for me, but for yourself.”
“O-okay.”
“Do you want Ana to be in your future? Your far future?”
“No,” he answers quickly, but it’s a question he’s asked himself before and was just too afraid to say out loud, “but -”
“But what? Chris likes her?”
“Yes!” Eddie shouts.
“Maybe he does, maybe he even loves her a little, but he loves you more, and he wants you to be happy, and he knows you aren’t happy, and he probably knows it’s because of her.”
“He does?”
“Yes,” Buck takes Eddie’s hand away from his heart, but he doesn’t let go of it, “your heart knows it too, and it’s screaming at you, Eddie, but you aren’t listening.”
“I wanted to be ready, to move on from Shannon, not just after she died, but long before that too.”
“I know.”
“Am I never going to be ready?” He can feel the wet of his eyes as he blinks up at Buck, vulnerable once again in front of him.
“I think you are, but not with Ana, and that’s okay. I mean, she’s the first person you seriously dated besides your wife, Eds. So it’s okay that she isn’t the right fit, and it’s okay if it takes you a little while longer to find who is.”
“Is Taylor your right fit?” Eddie blurts out, and it makes Buck let go of his hand.
“Whoah, we’re talking about you here.”
“Is she? It’s been four months, and you’re still together; she’s still actually here.”
“Yea, she hasn’t run away from me yet, and ya know, we have a good time.”
“She makes you happy?”
“Y-yea. I mean, am I ready to ask her to marry me? No, but I gave her a drawer last week.”
“A drawer?”
“Yea. She’s only got a few things in it; honestly, she lives more in the news van than anything.”
“You gave Taylor a drawer. In your loft?”
“Am I mumbling or something? A drawer, yes. In my loft.”
“That’s uh - that’s cool.” But, damnit, Eddie can’t do this for the third time. He doesn’t have the strength left. He grips the dishtowel hanging from the knife drawer just to ground himself to something.
“You okay?”
“Yep, yep.”
“You’re looking a little panicky. Maybe it’s not just Ana. Maybe you’ve just got a real fear of commitment thing going on. Even if it’s mine.”
“Shit,” his chest hurts this time, and his whole body is hot, but he’s shivering.
“Put your hand back on my heart.”
“No, no! God, that’s going to make this worse.”
“What? Why? It worked last time.”
“Exactly. And in the bathroom, it was you, so much you,” Eddie’s knees are weak now. He isn’t sure how much longer he can stay upright, and suddenly everything, fucking everything, smells like Buck.
“Eddie, you’re not making any sense.”
“I need you to go. Can you go, please?”
“I’m not going to leave you like this.”
And, of course, Eddie knows Buck won’t leave him. Buck will do just about anything Eddie asks, but he won’t do this. He won’t leave Eddie when Eddie needs him so badly.
“Buck, please, you’re making things worse.”
“How am I making things worse?”
“Because you’re the only one who can make them better!”
“Eddie, Eddie.” Buck wraps Eddie up in his arms before he can fall to the floor, probably hitting his head on the way down. The instant calm he feels with Buck’s body pressed hard against his, his soft breath hitting the curve of Eddie’s neck terrifies him. It isn’t a new fear, but it’s one he’s been feeling so much more lately, one he can’t seem to ignore. He’s so tired from his body trying to run away from everything; his bones ache, his chest is sore. Finally, he closes his eyes and gives in to the fear, stops trying to fight or flee, and just lets Buck hold onto him. His fingers rake through Eddie’s sweat-slicked hair as Eddie’s breathing starts to slow.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Buck whispers into Eddie’s throbbing temple.
“It’s not okay at all.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m in love with you,” he rushes out in one broken breath, “it isn’t just that Ana feels wrong; it’s that you feel right. You’ve always felt right.”
Buck is quiet for what feels like a hundred moments before he finally seems to have something to say.
“Huh,” he breathes out from the back of his throat.
“That’s all you have to say?”
“What would you like me to say?”
“I don’t know. You could say that I’m insane, that you love Taylor, that you’re not into men, not into me.”
“I could say any of that, but then I’d be lying to you.”
“What?”
“Look, Eddie, I-I don’t know if I’m in love with you, but I feel something. Something more than I’ve ever felt with anyone, and I kinda keep thinking it’s going to go away, but it never goes away.”
“Huh.”
Buck laughs and gently sits Eddie up, tangled across Buck’s long legs, still safe in his arms, “are you okay?” he asks.
“I think I am.”
“Good.”
Buck presses a kiss to the tip of Eddie’s nose, and Eddie smiles before he tilts his chin, so Buck’s lips fall against his. It’s a slow, quiet kiss that lasts only a few seconds before they both pull away.
Eddie is so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, so he lets them slip closed, lets Buck hold him closer in the middle of the kitchen floor until he falls asleep.
#i had to do it#long fic#buddie fic#eddie's anxiety attacks#not anti ana#but not pro ana by any means either#panic attacks#buddie
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Everything Undesired
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Warnings: dead dove: do not eat, heavily implied rape, gross misuse of a pact, dissociation victim blaming
Summary: not all pact masters use their pacts judiciously or in a positive way. What happens when a pact is misused in one of the worst ways possible?
A/N: so a while back I did a comic by the name of ‘Meet Me Under the Azaleas’ I’m no longer happy with the writing I put into it originally so I wanted to rewrite it using the same plot line and adding some extra scenes that weren’t in the original comic which I’ll be taking down tonight. It should work better as a fic anyway.
Chapter 1
“You are ours. We own you.”
Those words rang in his head over and over as he stumbled his way into his room, overstimulated, exhausted- a mess. He knew it was a mistake to answer the call of those witches tonight. The thoughts of what they did, how their hands ran over his body, what they had taken away. It made his stomach churn and tie itself in knots with guilt and shame. It burned just the same as the rope marks on his wrists and ankles- wounds that would heal within the hour.
“You won’t breathe a word of this to anyone- this we command of you, Avatar of Greed.”
Those women -no, they were monsters- abused the innate trust that comes with a demon who enters a pact with a human, multiple in this case. They had violated the boundaries he’d put in place the day he started dating his human. Oh God, what would she think if word ever got out? He had no way of speaking out- to scream the truth until his voice was raw.
He needed to shower, to get the stench of sex and sweat off of him. He had to get their scent off of him. As he entered the bathroom, Mammon tore off his clothes as he started the water. The lights remained off as he couldn’t bare to look at himself after what happened. Not after how he just let them use him like that.
He stepped under the boiling water and just let it run against him. The falling water did nothing to drown out the deafening voices running rampant in his mind.
“Disgusting!” They roared, “Useless! Pathetic! Weak! Whore! ….. Scum!”
He falls to the floor of his shower, hands gripping at his hair as he let out a whimper that eventually turned into quiet sobs. The steamy air making it harder to breathe. Why didn’t he fight against them harder- against their orders. No, he just laid there and took it.
He grabbed the soap and a wash rag and scrubbed his body until every bit of him was raw and even then he wouldn’t stop. It was only when he saw the blood swirling around the drain that Mammon realized what he was doing to himself- how bad the water burned the exposed skin. It felt like hellfire raining down upon him.
He felt horrible as he reached up and switched the water off. He could still hear it in his head as he reached for a towel- all the crying, screaming, begging for them to stop.
He was a pathetic, sorry excuse of a demon, he thinks as he wraps the towel around his waist and travels down the his stairs quietly. It’s early morning now. There was only a few hours left before he would have wake up for school. He contemplated just skipping the entire day. There would be know way he’d be able to function. He could always say he feels sick- its not that far from the truth. He would decide in a few hours, he thought as he crawled into bed. It didn’t take long for her to move closer to him. His naturally warmer body temperature was what drew her to him. His body involuntarily tensing as she nuzzled into his chest, arms slipping around his body. He would only tuck her head under his chin and drape and arm over her side as he let the scent of her shampoo relax him enough to fall into a light sleep.
After a short while, someone's alarm blared among the sheets- whether it his or Arella's, he couldn't be sure. Mammon patted around for the offending phone, just wanting to get five more minutes of shut eye. He eventually succeeded but not without waking his partner.
"Morning, Love," Arella sighed, her voice still laced with the grogginess of sleep.
"Mornin', Treasure," The demon yawns as he curls back up, pulling her closer to his chest. "Sleep well?"
"I did. What time you get back last night?" Arella's voice is soft as her hand slides under his shirt, rubbing gently along his side.
"5 this mornin'." He says as he tries to hide the way his body recoils from her touch, a pang of guilt strikes his heart as she notices. "Sorry... 'm not really feelin' all that great right now..."
"No, that's alright." She removes her hand from his side, choosing instead to rest it against his cheek as she readjusts herself so she's eye-level with him on the pillow. "How selfish of those witches to keep you out so late on a school night..." Its at this point she notices the puffiness and how red his eyes are. "You look like you've been crying... Is everything alright?"
He just shakes his head. Mammon wants so badly to tell her what happened to him the night before- the real reason he got home so late, but unsurprisingly, no words come out. He just closes his eyes, letting himself relax under her gentle touch. "I'm jus' really tired s'all."
"I believe it. You only got a hour and a half's worth of sleep. Would you like to just stay home all day, just the two of us?" Arella moves him so he's resting with his head on her chest.
"That's sounds.... nice," he hums quietly, so close to falling back into the clutches of sleep.
"Alright then. Go on and go back to sleep," She kisses the top of his head, carding her fingers through the soft, fluffy locks the other hand rubbing small circles in the center of his back. "I've got you."
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This carried on for months. The witches would summon him and as long as he complied with their wishes, they would hold his secret. By the third time, he would check out- let his mind escape to anywhere but the present until it was over. It became a vicious cycle. They would call, he would go to them, and then he would crawl into his bed for maybe an hour or two before forcing himself to get up for classes that he often fell asleep in. After the tenth, once they had finished with him, he asked why they were doing this and they told him.
“We desire something to bind you to us for the rest of our lives.”
“A child.”
The demon’s eyes widened at that. Never in his life had he been so opposed to the idea of having children. In fact, just before all of this happened he had been daydreaming about what his children with Arella would look like if they were ever so fortunate to have any but a child with one of the witches? It made him sick. A half-demon born from a demon of his status had a high probability of killing its mother- one who he would then have to raise. How could he explain that to his brothers- to Arella? The very thought filled him with dread. How could he ever bring himself to care for a child conceived from a crime? A child that would always be nothing but a constant reminder of the worst nights of his life. They didn’t deserve a life like that.
And so Mammon did the only thing he could think to do: he fled. He ran back to the Devildom, back to House of Lamentation as fast a his legs would carry him. He crashed through the doors of the house. Never had he been so greatful to be the first one home. As he climbed the steps up to his room he vowed to himself never again. He wouldn’t give them what they wanted, consequences be damned.
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It had been six months since his last encounter with the witches. There was nothing on their end- absolute radio silence. Part of Mammon wondered if they'd gotten what they wanted from him after all. Everyday was filled with the anxiety of not knowing. His nightmares had gotten worse. Most of them were based around those nights he'd spent with them, others involved everyone finding out a one-sided version of what had happened, all spun in the favor of the witches. He dreamed of Arella leaving him, heart-broken from the implication that he would stray from her and running into the arms of one of his brothers. The worst ones- the ones he would wake up from covered in a cold sweat in the dead of night- consisted of him standing in the witches' home, the sounds of screaming, the smell of blood, the piercing first cries somewhere between the call of a demon and the screams of a human baby infecting his senses. It all felt too real. It felt like a crushing weight on his chest.
Over this time, Mammon had grown distant from both his brothers and Arella, hardly spending anytime with them. He fell apart. The grades he worked so hard to pull up had taken a nose dive, he was hardly eating- choosing only to consume just barely enough to sustain himself. He no longer slept for fear of the nightmares and he instead threw himself into side jobs that would keep him out of the house well passed curfew as well as earn him plentiful amounts of grimm. He couldn't go on like this much longer.
Everyone was worried for him. None of them had ever seen the Avatar of Greed in this manner and the gradual change in his demeanor alarmed them. Despite everyone’s best attempts, Mammon hardly smiled anymore. He just simply didn't seem to enjoy all of the things he once did. They all knew something was wrong but when asked the white haired demon would shrug it off, say he was fine when he very obviously was not. Everything came to a head the night Mammon collapsed, finally falling victim to exhaustion and hunger.
It was after this that Lucifer called the family to a meeting while Arella sat with Mammon in his room as he slept fitfully.
"What do we do, Lucifer?" Asmo seemed distraught with fear. "Our brother is suffering from something and we don't even know where to start in trying to help him."
"We have to get him to talk somehow," Satan quipped, "Perhaps Arella can-"
"If this were any other situation, I would suggest it but right now, I don't think that's a very wise move. If she forces him to talk it could very well damage the bond they share." For the first time in thousands of years, Lucifer didn't know what to do. Whatever was causing this shift in personality was eating away at Mammon. "We'll try to think of a way to fix this- to find out what happened to our dear brother. So let's start at the beginning of all of this. What do we know about what he was doing before this happened?"
"Well, Levi started, "He was getting called up by those witch sisters with more and more frequently. I heard him come home super late- like early morning hours late..."
"And after that is when he practically stopped eating." Beel chimed in.
"And he was having nightmares almost nightly, afterwards." Belphie nodded. "I did my best with my powers to look into them but there were so many mental blocks that he subconsciously put up, I couldn't see or hear anything very well and what I could see didn't make a whole lot of sense. They weren't very clear, but they had something to do with the witches... and I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt associated with them."
"Then obviously something happened while he was with them," Satan said, brow furrowed. "But what that may be, we won't know until he talks."
"Asmo, I see the look on your face." Lucifer called out to the Avatar of Lust. "Is there something, you'd like share with the group?"
Everyone's eyes were locked onto Asmodeus as the demon sat with a contemplative look on his face. He was very slowly starting to piece together what had been going on.
"Not yet, but I may have a hunch." He finally said. "Mammon has a pact with these women, correct?"
Next
Masterlist 2
#dead dove do not eat#tw: implied rape/non-con#tw victim blaming#tw: dissociation#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me! shall we date?#obey me angst#obey me mammon#om! mammon#mammon angst#obey me lucifer#om! lucifer#obey me leviathan#om! leviathan#obey me satan#om! satan#obey me asmodeus#om! asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#om! beelzebub#obey me belphegor#om! belphegor#obey me oc#arella
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Fire on Fire - Chapter Seven
chapter six / chapter eight
no one kills me after that, thank you very much <3
btw it’s midnight, i wrote that in two hours and it’s not edited so sorry in advance for that too
Rowan gently knelt down to put Aelin in the shower, her small arms let go of his neck to fall back by his side.
"I'm going to take your shirt off, is that okay?" Rowan asked gently, his voice barely louder than a whisper. She ignored him, her eyes fixed straight ahead with tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Aelin?"
Almost imperceptibly, she nodded. Rowan took the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, she raised her arms to help him but it seemed to take all her strength. She was only in her panties, sitting on the floor with her legs bent in front of her. She put her head on her knees, her arms around her legs as if it was going to protect her, as if she wanted to make herself as small as possible so that she could disappear.
"I'll be back in a second." He told her and went to his room to grab a shirt and a pair of boxers. He didn't know where she kept her clothes and he didn't want to invade her privacy any more than he already was. She hated him so the fact that he was going to see her naked was enough, she didn't need to know that he had gone through her underwear. He also took some water and towels to rapidly clean up the mess in her room.
The two minutes alone she had while Rowan was in his room and hers did nothing to calm her tremors. He took the shower palm and knelt down in front of her, she looked at him and for the first time, Rowan smiled at her. It wasn't a big smile or a pity smile, it was small and full of understanding. I know how that feels.
She didn't say anything but he could have sworn her body relaxed slightly. He turned on the water and adjusted the heat, not too hot but still (too) warm. He had noticed that she liked her shower hot because of the steam that came out of the bathroom every time she came out of the room.
The water splashed on his pants but he didn't care as he began to run the water over her arms and shoulders. She stayed still as she let Rowan take care of her, as she let the man who had been an absolute dick to her see her in her most vulnerable state.
He turned to access her back but what he saw made his heart stop for a second. Her back. That was the moment he realized he had never seen her back, no matter what he wore, it had always been covered and now he understood why.
There were two scars on the length of her spine, one at the top and one at the bottom, the same spine that wasn’t totally straight. Softly, he traced the shape of the first one and her entire body stiffened. “Please, don’t ask. Please,” Her voice was shaking and weak. Her back had been broken, he was sure of that. The scars could only have been caused by surgery. What the hell happened to her?
“I’m going to wash your hair now,” he only said and took all her hair in hand to wet them. They were soft, so soft that he may have spent more time than necessary to get them wet. He took his shampoo, not wanting to waste time looking at which of her bottles was shampoo. Gods, she brought so much product. Rowan only had shower gel and shampoo, thinking that's what everyone else had. Then Aelin Galathynius arrived, bringing shampoos, conditioners, hair care products, castor oil, and a bunch of other stuff he didn't even know the name of.
He ran some lotion through his hands and as gently as possible, he began to massage her head. She leaned her head to his touch and her breathing calmed down. Good.
He frowned as his fingers brushed against a piece of skin that did not feel the same as the others when touched. So that she wouldn't recognize his digging, Rowan looked at her scalp. A large scar was present on the right side of her head, hidden by her hair.
His breath caught, imagining all that could have happened to this woman. Quickly, his eyes searched for scars elsewhere on her body and he found a few on her arms, he couldn't see her legs from her position. The marks were not as large as those on her scalp or back but they were still there.
What the hell.
But she had asked him, begged him, not to say anything about her back so he would apply the same principle to the other scars.
He continued to massage her scalp, longer than necessary but she looked so rested that he didn't care. If it made her feel better, he would wash her hair all night.
After a few minutes, he pulled her hair back a little and gently rinsed her hair full of product. From this angle, he could see her cheeks and he noticed that there were no more tears on them, which was a good sign.
Quickly but still gently, he applied soap to her back and arms, not wanting to touch her where he would have to move her position. She had found a position where she felt safe and he would not take that away from her.
He turned off the water, rising above her and when he looked down, her eyes were already open. He'd looked at them too many times, blamed himself many times for that, but they fascinated him. Today, Rowan noticed that the blue of her eyes looked deeper and seemed to take up more space than usual. The gold was almost impossible to see. He was used to seeing the opposite, the gold grew whenever she was upset, making her eyes look like they were on fire.
He didn't smile, and neither did she. He knew that at the slightest sign of pity he would show, she would break again.
This type of breakdown she had today was not casual and he knew it, she didn't panic about her condition once and that proved Rowan right. She was used to it.
He wondered what her dreams had shown her tonight, what her mind had chosen to torture her with. It was at that moment that he regretted everything, regretted being the worst possible person around her. Not because he thought he had something to do with her condition, that kind of pain was deeper than mean words, but because maybe, if he had been a better person, she would have confided in him.
He had been so focused on pushing her away from his life that he had been blind to the possibility that he could just let her in. He shook his head, he was pushing people away for a reason. If he had any lesser friends, he would be alone now. Fenrys, Lorcan, Vaughan, Connall and now Aedion would never let him leave them, no matter how many times he had tried.
Rowan wondered if Aelin ever had anyone who fought for her the way his friends did. Sure, Dorian, Aedion, and Lysandra were here but did they notice every single thing Rowan noticed about her? Or were they wronged by her smile and the arrogance she used to hide her pain?
“Let’s get up, okay?” He said as he held his hands toward her. She looked at them and seemed to wonder what to do, he let her think, keeping the neutral expression on his face. After a few seconds of thinking, she let go of her legs and put both hands in his.
A surge of electricity passed through his body at that moment and Rowan was sure she felt it too. He used a little strength to make her stand up, her legs still a little weak. He took one of the towels and automatically Aelin raised her arms slightly, letting Rowan wrap it around her. He took another towel and had Aelin turn on herself, slowly, he began to rub her hair to dry it.
He took the opportunity to rub the towel lightly on the back of her neck and shoulders, helping her dry herself. She did nothing, just waited for time to pass, but Rowan saw that her gaze was no longer fixed on the horizon, lost in thought.
No, she was aware of what was going on around her, aware that he was there, and it didn't seem to make her uncomfortable. He left her the time, taking his hairbrush and start to untangle the small nodes that formed in the shower. It should have been more delicate.
He cringed when one of the knots didn't unravel directly, pulling Aelin's head back but she said nothing, letting him do it.
"I brought you something to wear," he said after he was done, she looked at him with a confused look before shaking her head slightly and nodding. Before he could do anything she dropped the towel that wrapped her body to the ground and removed her last piece of underwear. Rowan quickly turned around, giving her some privacy. It's not like there was anything sexual about seeing her this way, there was nothing attractive, he just wanted her to be comfortable.
“You don’t believe me,” her voice was flat, without any emotions in it. He turned his head with a frown to see her with his shirt on. It was huge for her, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the sigh. “For the scholarship.” She specified.
Well, that was random. He didn’t think about the conversation they had in the kitchen last morning at all. But if she was ready to talk, even if it was something as random as that, then he would talk. He shook his head, “I don’t, you’re right.”
“They don’t give scholarships to people like me.” No, they didn’t. “I told everyone I had one, and they believed me.”
“But it’s not true.” He said and she shook her head, confirming what he said. “How do you go to college, then?”
“My professor, Arobynn Hamel, pays for me.” Her voice was smaller than it had ever been. There was something about the way she said his name that bothered Rowan. He knew Arobynn Hamel, everyone did, he had read some of his books, he had even produced a quite good movie a few years ago. He also heard more than once Lysandra and Aelin talk about Professor Hamel.
“Why do you lie?” He asked her without judgment in his voice, only pure curiosity. It was weird for a professor to pay for a student that wasn’t one of his children, but Rowan remembered Aedion talking about Arobynn Hamel and Aelin knowing each other long before college, maybe he was a family friend? “Why lie when someone clearly cares about you enough to pay for your education? Your uncle and cousin are worried sick you’re going to lose that scholarship, you could make them feel better.”
She took a deep breath as if it was hard to speak. He was sure nobody knew what she had just told him, he could be okay with only one secret if she wanted to stop talking now. “Because the furthest they are from Arobynn, the safest they are.”
“What does that mean?” He asked but from the look on her face… She was done talking. She wouldn’t say anything more and it annoyed him, but he could respect that. “Let’s get you to bed,” he said and she nodded.
“Can you stay with me a little?” He knew how god damn hard it was to ask for help, but this little human being in front of him just did, she was strong enough to ask for something he never had the courage to ask in a decade. So he nodded, following her as she slipped in her bed, sitting at the end of it.
She had been honest with him tonight, more honest than she had been with anyone, it was only fair he was honest with her, too. “I had a nightmare,” he started. It was easier to speak without any lights on, even if he could feel her gaze burn his skin. “That’s how I heard you, I was already awake.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, he even wondered if she wasn’t asleep. “What was your nightmare about?”
“You’ve got your secrets, I have mine, princess.” She laughed softly at that and he wanted to get on his knees to thank all the gods for that. It wasn’t a big, strong laugh, but it was one. One he would cherish.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“No,” he said, honestly for the first time in his life. “You?”
“No,” her voice was quiet. “It’s weird. To answer that question truthfully. People don’t usually expect another answer than “yes” when they ask you how you are.”
“You’re right, they don’t.”
“I’m scared, Rowan. And my little trick to contain the fear isn’t working lately.”
“What trick?” He frowned even if she couldn’t see it. He felt her feet close to his leg under the comforter. He stood up, took her feet and the cover, and lifted them. He sat down again and this time Aelin's legs were on him.
“My name is Aelin Galathynius and I will not be afraid,” she whispered. He turned his head toward her, a brow raised and a small smile on his lip.
“So, you say that and it works?”
“I had the same conversation with someone a few years ago,” she laughed, moving to get comfortable and maybe to lean into his touch. “But yeah, it does. Or when it doesn’t I just laugh at myself.”
He just smiled at the dark, “Sleep, Aelin.”
“Can you stay tonight?” She asked. “I don’t want to be alone.”
As he squeezed her ankle he said “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
------------------
It was still dark when Aelin woke up. The events of the night before came back to her mind with flashes, making her stand up suddenly. Rowan was lying in bed, the dim light of early dawn allowing Aelin to see his sleeping head tilted to the side.
What has she done?
What the hell has she done?
As quietly as possible she got up and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and her phone from the coffee table. She tiptoed out of the room, giving one last look to the man who had taken care of her yesterday after being a total bastard for almost two years. She didn't know what he wanted from her but she had already given and suffered too much. It wouldn't happen again.
She put on her shoes and went outside, starting to run. She listed in her head all the things she had confided in Rowan last night.
Arobynn, the scholarship, Sam's sentence...
You don't have to be alone anymore. What did it mean? She had been alone for years, no matter that she was in a room full of people, she was always alone.
Everything he said to her before last night, all the scornful looks he gave her... Everything she said...
Yesterday he told her he knew how it felt, did she hate him because he was a mirror of herself? Of the part of her that she hated the most?
She didn't care, continuing to run even though she was out of breath until she found herself in front of a familiar front door which she knocked on loudly for several seconds.
She had to run because she didn't know what was waiting for her in her room, didn't know what was going to happen. Yesterday changed things and Aelin hated change and she hated not knowing something.
The door opened and Aelin could see that he was surprised, she smiled at him but it did nothing to ease his confusion. "Aelin? What the hell are you doing here? Did you run? It's seven miles!"
"Can I crash here for a few days?" She asked out of breath. She didn’t know what she would do if he said no but she didn’t have to wonder about that for long.
He didn't hesitate before letting her into his little house. "It's your home too."
“Thank you, uncle Gav.” He smiled at her and kissed the crown of her head before she walked up the stairs to Aedion’s room. The moment her head hit the pillow she was out.
————
tag list:
@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @surielandiareendgame // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy
#rowaelin fanfiction#rowaelin#rowan x aelin#rowan whitethorn#aelin galathynius#throne of glass fanfiction#fire on fire
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holly's august extravaganza day 26: slowly becoming lovers
for sonia (@pragmaticoptimist34)! i have to confess something - i got so caught up in writing this that i actually forgot to include either of the other two prompts you sent me 🙈 i hope you like it anyway!
second confession - it was supposed to be longer and then it kind of got away from me so i had to draw a line somewhere oops
thanks to @ravens-words, @cosmiicmalex, @halsteadmarchs and liz (sorry, i don't know your tumblr!) for enabling me and to @noxsoulmate for beta'ing!
ao3 | 2.9k | falling in love, fluff, tiny, tiny hint of hurt/comfort, soft tarlos, set between s1 and s2
Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.
But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.
i. food preferences
“You have to be joking.”
“It tastes like soap, Carlos!”
Carlos groans and drops his head into his hands, shaking his head at this latest revelation from his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who has just made his life—or at least his cooking—a hell of a lot more complicated. “My mamá would have a fit if she could hear you now.”
He almost regrets the words as TK’s eyes alight with interest; he’s been dancing around the topic of his parents for a while now, but it’s not like he can deny what he said. His mom would be having a fit, or possibly attempting to kill TK with a wooden spoon, if she found out that Carlos’s boyfriend was not only a gringo, but one who hates coriander.
“I swear, you won’t even taste it when it’s mixed into the food,” he tries, because coriander is a staple of his cooking, and he can’t even fathom not using it.
But TK just levels him with a firm look. “Yes, I will, Carlos. I’ll always taste it.”
Carlos rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s theatrics, but sighs, relenting. “Fine. I suppose I can—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, as TK throws his arms around him and plants a noisy kiss on his cheek.
“Thanks, babe,” he says, grinning cheekily.
“Yeah, yeah,” Carlos grumbles, but he can’t help but smile.
There’s very little, he’s finding, that he wouldn’t do for TK.
ii. nicknames
It slips out by accident one day.
“TK,” Carlos groans, followed by a gasp as TK moves just right, sending sparks of pleasure down his spine. “TK, Ty—”
TK instantly freezes on top of him and Carlos’s eyes open, concern rising in him as he takes in the pensive look on his boyfriend’s face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I…” TK shakes his head and forces a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m good, I promise.” He ducks down to kiss Carlos again, but the mood is all wrong, and Carlos gently pushes him back, raising an eyebrow. TK holds out a moment longer, then sighs and rolls away, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s stupid.”
Carlos tuts, reaching over to brush a hand through TK’s hair. “Bet you $20 it’s not.”
“Hope you have $20 then, Reyes,” TK says wryly. He looks over at Carlos and sighs again, biting his lip. “It’s just… You called me Ty.”
“Oh.” Carlos’s eyes widen and he props himself up on an elbow. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking; it won’t happen again—”
TK presses a finger against his lips, cutting him off abruptly. He smiles softly, then removes his finger and caresses Carlos’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he says. “More than okay, actually. I… I’ve always hated my name, but, I don’t know, I guess it sounded right? Like, when you said it? I think I’d kill anyone else who tried, but I really liked it coming from you.”
“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because—”
Carlos is again cut off, this time by TK’s lips on his. TK moves so that he’s straddling Carlos again, hands pressed against his chest. “I’m sure,” he whispers, a grin playing at his mouth. “Now, weren’t we in the middle of something?”
iii. religion
Christmas sneaks up on him that year. Between helping the city recovering from the solar storm, work in general, the pandemic, and building his relationship with TK, Carlos has completely lost track of the months, until it’s a week before the date and he has nothing planned.
Really, it’s never been a big deal for him; he and his family used to attend mass and make an event out of it when he was a kid, but now he’s an adult, he’s often working, and he hasn’t been to church regularly since he was a teenager. But this year is different. This year, he’ll be spending it with TK, their first Christmas together, and he wants to make it special.
But he’s left it too late—nothing he orders online will arrive in time, the shops are becoming a nightmare, and he honestly has no clue where to even start. So Carlos resigns himself to another quiet Christmas, frustration and disappointment welling in him at the thought of telling his boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out one night over dinner, the thought having been gnawing at him for days.
TK raises a brow. “For?”
“Christmas,” Carlos sighs, looking down into his stew. “It’s our first one together and I had all these plans, and then I just sort of… I didn’t forget! But things have been so crazy, and—”
He’s cut off when TK lays a hand on his. When Carlos looks up at him, TK seems to be fighting back laughter, which is confusing at best and potentially mildly insulting at worst.
“Babe,” TK says, grinning, “it’s okay. You might not believe me, but I forgot too. Christmas wasn’t really a thing growing up—my mom’s Jewish, so I used to celebrate Hanukkah on the years I stayed with her, and Dad was working more often than not. I don’t care, I promise.”
Carlos blinks. “You’re Jewish?” Surely he would know if… But they’ve never discussed religion before, and Carlos had kind of assumed TK had the same ideals as him about the church. In hindsight that was stupid and presumptuous, and Carlos can’t quite believe he’d do something like that. An apology is on the tip of his tongue, but TK just shrugs, going back to his stew.
“Half,” he says. “I don’t really practice anymore but I still keep the beliefs with me, if that makes sense?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”
TK smiles at him, and Carlos suddenly realises that this holiday season will be special after all, even if they don’t celebrate anything. Because he’s with TK, which is the most special thing in the world.
iv. how they sleep
Carlos has been sleeping alone for a long time. He’s had a couple of short-term boyfriends and the odd hook-up here and there, but he’s never had someone else in his bed regularly—certainly not regularly enough to get used to it.
TK was hesitant at first to stay over, but once he started to be more comfortable, it was almost a given that they’d be sleeping together whenever their shifts allowed.
And it had been an adjustment.
TK had warned him he tended to move around and be clingy in his sleep, but Carlos hadn’t quite understood what that meant, until now. He is, essentially, trapped under TK, his arms pinned to his sides and one leg thrown over his hip. TK’s head is pillowed on Carlos’s shoulder and his breath is fanning in soft puffs over his skin.
The only way he can move is if he wakes TK up, and there’s no way Carlos is going to do that. His boyfriend looks so peaceful, and Carlos is more than happy to be clung onto like a koala to a branch if it keeps that expression on his face.
In fact, he thinks he can get used to this very easily.
v. pda
In private, their days are filled with gentle touches and stolen kisses. Carlos will be cooking breakfast and TK will slip his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. TK will be doing one chore or another and Carlos will brush a hand over his back or gently nudge him as he walks past.
But in public, it’s a whole other story.
It’s almost reflexive, the way TK reaches for Carlos’s hand as they’re walking down the street. It’s something they do all the time at home, and even with their friends, but this time, Carlos immediately tenses, seemingly automatically pulling his hand away.
“You okay?” he asks, frowning.
Carlos takes a deep breath, then obviously plasters on a smile, retaking TK’s hand—and TK can feel the tension in the gesture. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” TK gently lets go of Carlos and smiles reassuringly up at him. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with touching in public.”
“I’m sorry, I just—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all on me; I should have asked.”
“But—”
“But, nothing.” He carefully bumps their soldiers together. “You’re entitled to your boundaries, I’m just sorry for overstepping. Tell me next time, please?”
Carlos hesitates, but nods, a gentle press of their arms a silent acknowledgment of agreement and understanding.
vi. scars
Carlos, TK has noticed, likes to pay extra attention to his bullet scar. Whether it’s pressing a gentle kiss over it when they’re in bed, or brushing it with his fingers when wrapping an arm around him, it happens too often for TK to believe it’s anything but intentional.
He doesn’t understand it at first.
Then he discovers Carlos’s own scars.
“What’s this?” he asks, tracing over the thick raised scarring on Carlos’s side. It stretches along the curve of his waist and round his back, and TK has no idea how he hasn’t noticed it before.
Carlos cranes his neck, letting out a hum when he sees what TK’s looking at. His head flops back down on the pillow and he closes his eyes, absently stroking up and down TK’s sides.
“It was...three years ago, maybe?” he says. “I got stabbed on a call. They told me it was pretty touch-and-go for a while, but they fixed me up and I was back at work in a month.”
His eyes are still closed, body completely relaxed, but TK can’t take his eyes off the scar. He reaches up to his own scar, and he gets it.
Carlos’s eyes crack open. “TK?”
“I’m good,” TK murmurs. He breaks his gaze from Carlos’s abdomen and smiles at him. “We both are.”
And if, after that day, Carlos notices him paying more attention to that scar, he doesn’t say anything.
vii. penguin or panda
“You’re out of your mind!”
In Carlos’s defence, a zoo date had seemed like a good idea. He knows TK loves animals, and he himself grew up around them, so in theory, a trip to Austin Zoo should have been the perfect time to get to know each other better while enjoying the day.
Turns out, TK has some very strong opinions on animals, and is willing to budge for absolutely no-one.
“I can’t believe you think penguins are cuter than pandas! I mean, look at them, Carlos!” He gestures emphatically to the panda enclosure, where one is napping on a log. It’s pretty cute, Carlos has to admit, but…
He shrugs. “But remember when the penguins were all huddling together?”
TK makes a noise of outrage, and Carlos has to laugh, then some more at the wounded pout he gets for it. “Is this really a thing for you?” he asks. “Like, is this going to be the dealbreaker for us?”
TK folds his arms and levels him with a stern look. “That depends,” he says. “Meerkats or koalas?”
And, just because he knows it will rile TK up more, Carlos grins and answers, “Meerkats.”
(They don’t break-up over it, but Carlos isn’t so sure that TK will be forgiving him any time soon.)
viii. special interests
“Say you could go back to a moment in history, but only once,” TK says, out of the blue, breaking the comfortable silence of the front room. Carlos stops carding his fingers through TK’s hair and looks down at him, curious. “Where would you go?”
Carlos opens his mouth, but TK doesn’t give him a second to answer. “Is it cliché if I said I’d go to Stonewall? I mean, I’d really like to see dinosaurs in the flesh, or—oh! I was, like, obsessed with pirates as a kid; I thought they were the coolest things ever, and I pretty much idolised Anne Bonny. But I’m pretty sure I’d die immediately if I went to either of those places, so…”
He trails off, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Sorry, I’m boring you.”
“No!” Carlos rushes to say. “No, you’re not. I love history, I just… What makes you ask?”
“It’s something we got into at the station earlier. Mateo brought it up first, I think?”
Carlos hums, pursing his lips in thought. “I guess…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s too hard. There’s so many places I’d want to go and people I’d want to meet.”
“But if you had to pick?” TK pushes, sitting upright and looking at Carlos with interest.
“I really want to meet Eleanor of Aquitaine, but if I could only go to one place…” He hesitates and thinks it over some more, but then his eyes catch on the masks hanging along the stairway, and he’s sure. “Tenochtitlan, but before Cortés arrived. It was a whole society, and I just think it would be so cool to see it up close and to know what it was like first-hand. I mean, I’ve read a lot of books, but we don’t have much from the Mexica people, a lot is from the conquerors, and—”
Carlos stops and huffs a laugh. “Now I’m the one boring you,” he says, but TK shakes his head, eyes bright.
“Tell me more.”
ix. coffee order
TK accepts the coffee without even thinking about it, even taking a sip before he realises he never told Carlos what his order was. He curses himself but resolves to drink it anyway; TK isn’t too much of a coffee snob, and he’s certainly not going to reject anything his boyfriend brings him.
He takes a second sip, and he’s so caught up in making a mental note to tell Carlos next time that it takes a minute for the taste to register. And…
It’s his order.
He looks sharply up at Carlos, who is smiling into his own coffee—therefore dispelling any notion of this being an insanely good guess. “How did you know?” he asks, bewildered.
The tips of Carlos’s ears turn pink, but the smile doesn’t leave his face as he looks up at TK. “Our first real date,” he says. “You mentioned that this was your go-to order.”
And TK can’t do anything but stare, because their first date was weeks ago, and Carlos still remembered, and it’s just…
He thinks—no, he knows—he’s falling in love.
x. fears
“Weirdest fears, go.”
TK has to laugh at the perplexed look Carlos sends him at the question, the straw of his boba hanging out of his mouth. Now that they’ve figured a sort of rhythm out between them, they decided to try the boba place again—there have been no emergencies or disasters so far, so TK is counting it as a win.
“Come on,” he continues. “Last time we were here, you said we barely knew each other—which was true—so now we’re going to fix it.”
Carlos’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “By telling each other our weirdest fears?”
“Exactly!” TK grins. “I’ll go first if you’re too chicken. Mine is slicing my hands open or cutting some fingers off with ice skates.”
“What?” Carlos breathes, disbelief all over his face. “I’ve never been ice skating but I’m pretty sure your hands aren’t supposed to go anywhere near the blades.”
“I didn’t say it was rational.” TK sips his boba, raising an eyebrow at Carlos. “Your turn.”
Carlos swallows, suddenly very interested in the table. “I, uh. When I was a kid, my Tía Lucy had a snake get into her pipes. She only discovered it when she went to the toilet one morning and it was just...sitting there in the bowl. I was terrified for years that the same would happen to us, and it’s kind of become a reflex to check.”
“Oh my god.” TK can’t help but burst out laughing, even though he feels bad for it as Carlos covers his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a real thing for you, I just…”
But Carlos’s shoulders are shaking too and, bizarrely, TK really does feel closer to him now.
It’s a good feeling.
xi. long-term commitments
Carlos is surprised when TK is the one to bring it up first.
“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks one day, head in Carlos’s lap, staring up at the ceiling.
Carlos pauses the show he’s technically supposed to be watching and quirks an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Sure,” he says. “What about the future exactly?”
TK hesitates, and his voice comes out a lot quieter when he next speaks. “Like…” He sighs, a small flush rising on his cheeks. “The future. Our future. Us. Maybe...marriage, or…”
He trails off, practically whispering by the end of it. His gaze has shifted from the ceiling to the frozen TV screen and he’s chewing on his bottom lip, body stiff with tension. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Forget about it.”
But Carlos is learning to read TK, and he knows he was looking for reassurance. “I mean, yeah,” he says. “I think about it. Do you?”
TK stares up at him, wonder in his eyes. “After New York, I thought… But yeah. Yeah, I do.”
They share a smile as they lock eyes, and Carlos knows that they’re on the same page here. That, distant though they may be, both of them can hear wedding bells in their future.
#911 lone star#911 lone star fic#tarlos#tarlos fic#tk strand#carlos reyes#911ls#lone star#fanfiction#my fanfiction#writing#my writing#holly's august extravaganza#pragmaticoptimist34
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Prompt 45 for pigsy and mk from that post about mk getting turned into a pig demon?
hey! this is actually @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off concept. I thankfully got permission to write something
(thank you Knox!!!!❤❤❤✨✨💖🤡 )
I got permission from Knox to write something but keep in mind this is just my interpretation of the idea, I tweaked it a bit and it so probably should be taken as a grain of salt especially if they end up writing something later for it!
Hope you enjoy!~
the original post is HERE for those who don't know about it
prompt list
You Look Like Me
Rating: G
“D-Do I look okay?”
MK asked himself as he examined himself in the mirror of his bathroom. He locked himself in here about an hour ago and was hunched over the sink, snout pressed to the mirror.
He was studying himself.
After he transformed due to a hiccup in his transformation training with Wukong. And now….now he was this.
He looks at his new face. Instead of the human boy with dark brown locks, he's met with fluffy short furred snout and folded ears.
He's a pig boy now.
He touches his face, even his hands are no longer his, instead of small fingers he has hard black claws at the end of his nails they make him think of split hooves. He opens his mouth and examines his teeth. They are basically the same, save for the bottom canines that seem a bit longer. He realizes they are actually tusks that haven't grown in yet. Unlink Pigsy that had them out but keeps them relatively short with maintenance.
Actually, a lot of MK looked like Pigsy now that he thinks about it.
He had a cute short snout with two creases across the bridge in the same direction and shape as Pigsy, and even one ear was folded over slightly more than the other like Pigsy.
The snout sat on the edge of his face and MK touched gently, it was moist and It twitches under the contact. He jerks away when he realizes it moves on its now. It sniffs and wiggles gently as he breaths.
He also realizes his scenes of smell are better right now too.
He can smell the soap in his tub, he can smell the mint of his toothpaste even inside the tube, and he can even smell the spices and smells of Pigsy's noodles cooking even from a floor up.
His hearing is better too.
He can hear Pigsy closing up, the clanking of bowls that mix with his rumbling voice as it converses with Tang.
But his hearing goes much further than that. He can hear the humming of electricity, he can hear the cars outside and his own breathing.
Now that he was focusing on it, the noise was too much. He covers his ears, pressing them flat against his head, the fuzzy ears twitch under the contract before they are pinned to his head by his hands.
Even with the muffled sound, he can still hear the knock on his door. How he missed the footsteps leading up to it was a mystery.
"Mk? You okay bud?" He hears Pigsy ask just outside his door.
Fuck what was he supposed to do?? He didn't want Pigsy to worry about him, MK already had trouble enough as it is controlling his powers and the last thing he needed was Pigsy to have another reason to think he couldn't handle being the monkie kid.
"I'm fine!!!" He hiccups and covers his mouth and kneels on the floor as if making himself smaller would make the problem go away.
Don't cry. Don't cry. not now.
"You sure?" Pigsy asked, and the handle jiggled.
"Don't come in!!"
But it's too late. The door is open and MK is exposed to Pigsy. Blue eyes meet his Amer ones.
Two beats pass as they just stare at each other. Pigsy's lips part slowly
"Wow…"
His voice is breathless in awe.
MK blinks surprised by this reaction. Normally Pigsy hated all the monkey business that came with his powers. This was probably the first time he reacted with interest.
Pigsy is kneeling before MK now and his hands are touching his face. Studying him like a cartographer with a topographic map. talented fingers cup his face and then fingers trail across his nose with innocent fascination.
MK snuffs under the touch and he can't suppress how his nose twitched. With Pigsy this close he can smell him a million times better.
He smells like home.
Spices, cloves, and something earthy like fresh dirt after a storm.
It's soothing and MK hardly even noticed the curious hands making their way up to his ears.
MK feels his ears twitch under the curious gaze and Pigsy's mouth pulls up in a smirk.
"Hehh…" he laughs once under his breath at the reaction.
"You look like me when I was younger!" Pigsy beams at MK and something equally bright ignites in his chest.
So MK wasn't imagining it. He did look like Pigsy. No correction. He looked like he was related to Pigsy.
Like he was family.
MK had seen other pigmen demons like Pigsy around the city, there was one right across the street after all, as their unofficial noodle shop rival.
MK had learned very quickly that not all of them looked the same. Some were much taller, some shorter, some had a light fuzz all over their body like boars and some didn't. Their snouts could range in length and curl.
Some had tusks and others kept them short on purpose. They came in all shades and sizes much like humans.
So if MK transformed into a pig boy because of his monkey kid powers wouldn't he have his own unique features?
Did he subconsciously transform himself to look closely related to Pigsy?
MK grabs the hem of his shirt and twists it nervously and bites his lip deep in thought. Would it be so bad if he did though? To look like he was related to Pigsy means maybe...maybe he would see him more like a son?
"Is this why you rushed up here without saying hello earlier?" Pigsy asked and MK nods guiltily. Pigsy's eyes flit across his face studying him with a quirked brow and then his eyes widen with realization.
MK ducks his head and then nods his head with shame. He hears Pigsy tisk under his breath and swears.
"Sorry…"
"No! Don't apologize, you have nothing to apologize for ." Pigsy grabs either side of MK’s face forcing him to look at him.
"It's okay, we can figure this out and change you back. We can break this curse" He reassures the delivery boy with a smile.
Something settling in his stomach like a rock. Pigsy thought it was a curse...and not one of MKs faulty powers.
He didn't know he could probably change back if he wanted. He Probably could just transform back if he tried a bit harder and believed in himself or whatever monkey king always said.
But Pigsy didn't know that.
And MK decides something quickly. He didn't want them to know that.
"Y-yeah! We can break the curse together!" He plastered on a fake smile and swallowed down the guilt of his deceit.
Would it be so bad if he looked like Pigsy? Would it be so terrible and sinful to want people to think they were closely related? Pigsy didn't have to know he was lying to him, he could just...milk this feeling for a few days and then fake the curse-breaking.
No one would be hurt from that right? Maybe he could even get closer to Pigsy this way.
He feels Pigsy pat his back with a smile. MK feels his guilt grow in his stomach at it.
"Let's get you some food. I'm sure you're starving." Pigsy chuckles helping MK to his feet. Pigsy wraps an arm around MK leading him out of the bathroom.
The warmth and joyful presence of Pigsy was almost enough to overshadow the guilt.
Almost.
#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#MK#Pigsy#credit to ninja-knox-ur-sox-off#I love how fluffy both MK and Pigsy look in the original art#fluffy pigsy is superior pigsy#writting prompt#prompt ask#I would love to write a part 2 to this#where MK gets caught in his lie (because he WILL)#then he for real can't transform back XDD#catch me thinking about fluffy Pigsy 24/7#MK always trying to conform to a mold to be more loveable#poor bb#get him some therapy
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