#make time to marvel. make time for awe. make time for silly little thoughts that bring you joy without turning them into words immediately

[flowercrowngods]

i’m so obsessed with you. let me marvel at you. allow me to just enjoy the thought of you, all of your could be’s and would be’s, let me lose myself in you for a little while longer before i turn you into a reality that will inevitably lose some of your potential — but let me keep that inside my mind anyway, knowing everything you could have been and appreciating you for what you are nonetheless. i’m obsessed with you. i love you.

— me thinking about any of my wips tbh

[kengan-daddies]

The Boy Next Door Baki HanmaX Motherly! Older Female Reader

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4

Anime : Baki: Son of Ogre Character : Baki Hanma Warning : Mention of child neglect, child abuse

The Boy Next Door Baki Hanma X Motherly! Older Female Reader

The Boy Next Door Baki Hanma X Motherly! Older Female Reader

Your morning routine has been modified and changed, it was hard but it was worth it. Waking up from your usual time to 5:00 a.m. Getting out of bed, and drinking coffee to give you a pep in your step. You took your usual wash-up routine, then you got dressed and did your makeup. You cooked an extra breakfast before eating your own, done any chores you could think of that needed to be done, and then you waited... And waited... And waited... Your alarm went off and you sprung into action. Jumping up you grabbed your bag, put your shoes on, and dashed outside, slamming the door behind you as you ran towards the sidewalk.

You stopped short, catching your breath quickly, fixing your skirt, checking to make sure you looked decent and then you walked a few steps, stepping on the sidewalk you looked towards the left, and you smiled. There he was, the reason why you changed your morning routine, the reason why you tried to look as nice as you could, the reason why you ran towards the sidewalk, the boy next door, Baki Hanma walked down the street. His little home was back behind him as he walked, one hand in his pocket while the other held his bag, looking lost in thought.

'Silly boy... He's always deep in thought at this time of morning.' You thought as you stared at him, your eyes looking over his built form hidden under his school uniform. 'He's grown so much over the years. It makes me oddly proud to see him like this.' You thought as you shifted your weight in your heels. He seemed to have noticed you, his face brightening up in a happy smile. 'He so cute, he's like a little dog.' You thought as you smiled back, waving at him. He started to a light jog as he sprinted towards you, slowing once he got close enough.

"Hey, (y/n). How have you been... I haven't seen you in a few days." He said a nervous gleam in his eyes as he stared down at you. You smiled up at him, placing a hand on your hip as you did. "Yeah, I was busy with work, my boss is a real ass, he gave me extra work last week making me do some major overtime." You explained, a relaxed smile on your face. "Oh... Damn, that really sucks actually." He said. Your smile widened as you gave him a hard pat on his chest. "Don't worry about it, I'm a tough lady ya know." You said as you playfully flexed your arm.

He chuckled at you, his eyes gleaming happily. "Yeah, I guess you are." He said. Your smile faded as a look of shock crossed your face as you snapped your fingers. "Oh yeah!! I almost forgot!!" You said as you opened your bag. He stared down at you in question. "Here you go, your lunch." You said as you held out the bento box towards him. He stared down at it, marveling at how you had the chopsticks in a case the box was a pretty blue with a golden dragon going across it, written in Kanji was his name.

He smiled as he saw it, happily grabbing it. "Thanks (Y/n), man I really missed your cooking." He said as he placed it carefully into his bag. You smiled. "Why thank you Baki, I'm glad you love it so much." You said, your chest swelling in pride. He chuckled. "It's hard not to, you make the best food." He said softly.

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

You both walked down the street together, waking through the crowds as you both spoke to one another, Baki wasn't much of a talker, he enjoyed hearing your voice, but it's been almost a week since you last spoke to one another, so Baki had a lot to tell you. He told you about all his fights and his newest friend who was a primitive man named Pickle. You shook your head as you heard about what happened to his friends. "My god, that's awful... To lose a limb..." You said, you couldn't imagine the gruesome pictures that Baki explained to you... "Don't see it as something terrible... See it as a badge of honor." Baki said. You looked up at him a look of confusion on your face.

"How is that a badge of honor, Baki? You lost a piece of yourself forever." You said in a scolding voice, he never looked down at you as you both walked together, a knowing smile on his face. "I'm not expecting you to understand, I don't expect anyone to even begin to grasp the understanding of it... It's such a deep meaning to a warrior when they lose a limb to a worthy opponent... It's a symbol of strength... A trophy to wear... It's a beautiful way of saying 'I survived from fighting my strongest opponent.' ... It's a beautiful thing really." He said. You stared up at him, a puzzling look on your face, it melted into a relaxed stare before you looked away from him, staring at the scenery before you a small smile gracing your face.

"You're right... I don't think I'll ever understand Baki, but I can accept it... Because it's something you love." You said. His eyes widened and he looked down at you. You never looked over at him, but the sweet, genuine look on your face and the tender gleam in your eyes remained. He smiled slowly as his eyes relaxed. The happy gleam in his eyes shone harder than before as he looked ahead of himself as well. 'Damn... She's one hell of a woman.' He thought.

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

You sat in your cubical, sighing tiredly as you hung up the phone, you leaned back in your chair, making it incline back, you raised your arms, stretching them high above your head as your back arches, you squealed in pleasure as you sighed, you relaxed against the chair, resting your elbow on the armrest as you held your head up. Your eyes closed as you listened to the phones ringing, hanging up, and people answering calls. The sound of rushed steps sounded out, the rustling of paper, stapling, printing, and shredding.

It was an atmosphere you've grown accustomed to but never really loved, but it brought you comfort from how familiar it was. 'I wonder how Baki's doing... I hope he's doing good in school, talking to friends having fun, learning... I wonder if he's still talking to that girl, I forget her name... Kozue??? That sounds about right, but I could be wrong, he doesn't speak about her often, but when he does he always looks so happy... Yet so troubled... I hope he didn't get into any more fights, but if he did I'll just have to bandage him up and give him a good lecture.' You thought, your eyes mindlessly roaming around your cubical.

Pictures of family and friends hung up on the walls of your cubical, your desk organized yet messy, your laptop open to a document page, sticky notes stuck to the frame of your laptop marking important dates and time frames from customers and employees. You sighed as you looked down at the bottom of your laptop screen checking the time. '11:40 am... It should be lunchtime for Baki, I wonder if he's enjoying his bento.' You thought as your chest filled with warmth at the thought of the young man.

'We go way back, he and I... He always loved those bento boxes I made him... He was always so grateful... He'd hold onto them for years, even after they were old and broken, and he'd place them on his shelf as souvenirs... He's always been such a sweet boy.' You thought fondly, reminiscing his younger years. 'And now. He's a young man now, about to graduate high school and be out there in the world... And I'm pretty sure that I'm still gonna be making him bento boxes.' You thought as you chuckled to yourself.

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

Baki sat on the roof of the school, the bento you gave him this morning was opened and was nearly empty, he was slowly eating the food you cooked for him, 10 sausages sliced to look like little squids, 10 rolled omelets, and 4 large rice balls. It was never enough to get him stuffed, but it was enough to get him satisfied. He smiled as he swallowed the last of his rice ball, reaching down for the last rolled omelet and soon after the last two sausages. He chewed it slowly, savoring the taste like it'd be his last meal. He placed it down gently, putting the lid on it, sliding his chopsticks back into its case closing it before he placed it on top on the bento box.

He clasped his hands in thanks before he leaned back on his hands and he let out a burp before he sighed happily, patting his stomach with a satisfied stare. "Whoo!! Man, that hit the spot... She always knows how much to feed me... No matter how old I am, she always somehow knew when my appetite grew... Is that what the other kids at school are always talking about... How their mothers always know without them saying anything?... Is that what they call 'A Mother's instinct?' " He questioned aloud to himself as he stared at the sky, watching the clouds slowly drift by.

"I wonder what she's doing right now?... Probably eating... Maybe still working... Talking on the phone with a customer... A co-worker... Hopefully, it's a lady and not another guy.... Ha, now I sound like those guys who are protective of their moms." He said with a chuckle, a small smile on his face. He lays there in silence a little longer, lying down on his back as he crosses his arms under his head. "I wonder... How would she feel if I called her 'Mom'?... I mean, I would be shocked if she called me 'son'... But she already calls me things like 'sweetie', 'dear' and 'love', so... Maybe she wouldn't mind?.... Who am I kidding, of course, she would mind... Would she though?" He questioned as he lay there.

He stayed there for a few more minutes before he sat up, his legs bent and his arms resting on them. He stared down at the bento box, a gentle look on his face as he did. "I wouldn't know, If I don't try, right?" He asked himself aloud.

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

You sighed tiredly as you placed the stack of paper down on the counter in the lounge area, you sighed as you leaned on it, your arm resting on the stack while your other hand rested on the table. "Man, I can't wait for my shift to be over, I'm so ready to go home and relax with a nice dinner." You said, you stood there a little longer before you began separating the papers alphabetical order. 'Hmm, I wonder if Baki would want to come over for dinner today, it's been a while since we had dinner together.' You thought as your hands worked on autopilot, your eyes keeping tabs on the letters while your brain wondered.

'I should ask him after school today if he wants to have dinner together, knowing him he'd say yes, little foodie.' You thought fondly, a small smile gracing your face as you thought about him stuffing his face. You loved seeing Baki happy, he had such a rough life, and you were proud to be another constant form of normalcy in his life aside from school and having a girlfriend. You shook your head, remembering the sight of a young Baki, hungry and tired after constant training and depression, he wasn't frail but he wasn't exactly a normal thickness for a healthy child either.

A sad look crossed your face as you thought about it. 'Child neglect... It's a high rise here in Japan... And it's always so sad to see... Some women and men just didn't need to be parents.' You thought, Baki's mother crossing your mind, her arrogant stare as she glared at you, a saddened Baki by her side as he stared up at you with those big sad eyes. You hated that woman, she didn't deserve to be a mother... She was a monster, a selfish bitch, chasing after a man who didn't even want her, taking her frustrations out on a child. Your jaw clenched at the thought of her

Over the years of taking care of Baki, you've come to love him as your own child, you wished he was yours. You loved having him around, he made you feel so complete. Hearing him laugh in your living room as he watched TV, like a normal child, hearing his footsteps as he walked around, getting ready for school or to hit the gym, hearing him coming in from gym or school, a proud look on his face as he told you about him breaking his limits or about his grade improving. You watched him grow from a young teen to a young man, it made you proud to be in his life.

You stood there quietly for a while, the sound of shuffling paper was the only sound as you placed them in order, you paused halfway through, and you looked up in thought for a moment before you went back to work. "I wonder what I should make for dinner." You said aloud.

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

Baki walked down the street, hand in pocket while the other held his bag, a thoughtful look on his face as he walked. 'I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna walk in, like normal, I'm gonna sit at the table, like normal, and then I'm just gonna say it... It's just a simple word... Nothing too extreme... I'll just sit there casually, and I'll just say. "So, what's for dinner, Mom?".... Damn this is hard... I don't wanna make things awkward between us... But I also don't wanna constantly guess and wonder forever... Damn, this is tough.' He thought as he looked up, his brows creased in worry.

He sighed as he paused, his chest expanding before he held it for a moment, exhaling and his shoulders relaxed. A determined gleam in his eyes as he put a pep in his step. "I'm gonna do it!!" He said aloud, his walking picking up speed as he walked home. He walked for a while, his fast pace never slowing as he walked, he felt energized, nervous, nauseous, excited, worried, motivated... He was buzzing with so many emotions. His determined glare softened to a gentle gleam when he saw your form from a distance.

You were walking at a simple pace, you looked so small, so tired, yet still strong and sturdy. 'That's a mom for you, she's tired, she's beaten, she's bruised, but she still laughs, she still smiles, she still gives time for her young, she still carries on... The strongest human on earth is Yujiro Hanma, but the hardest to break is a Mother's Love.' Baki thought as he watched you walk ahead. His steps picked up speed as he caught up to you, it didn't take long, and once close enough he tapped your shoulder.

You jumped a little, looking over your shoulder and you relaxed the questioning look on your face into a happy smile when you saw Baki. The loving gleam in your eyes shined brightly and he stared at them, soaking up the stare. "Oh, Baki!! There you are, I was just wondering what I should make for dinner tonight." You said. He stared down at you sweetly as he smiled walking towards your home, you followed, your steps side by side as you both walked together through the crowded streets. Baki's eyes gleamed brightly as he steeled his resolve. 'Now.... This is the best time to do this.' He thought as his hand in his pocket balled into a fist.

"How about grilled fish, miso soup, and egg rolls with some rice... Mom?" He said, his voice wavered nervously at the end. Your eyes widen and you snatch your head to look over at him in question. 'Did I hear him right?... Did he just call me "mom"?' You thought, the soft yet scared look on his face, the cold sweat his eyes locked ahead of him, it all answered your question and you smiled. You wrapped your arm around his making him look down at you in shock with a questioning look. The happy look on your face, your eyes gleamed with unshead tears as you looked up at him.

"That sounds like a good idea, Son." You said. He slowly smiled at you, the scared look in his eyes relaxed and melted into a happy gleam as he tightened his arm around yours slightly. "Great... I was actually craving that at school today." He said, you giggled. "Really now? Well, it's a good thing you told me then because I was gonna make some fried cabbage, rice, and omelet." You said through a chuckle. "What!? Again!? Come on, Mom, you gotta eat better than that." He said playfully. You chuckled. "I know, I know... But I'll eat better now, I promise." You said.

You both walked together down the street, arms locked, happy smiles on your faces as you both looked like a mother and son having a playful banter.

[creepedverse]

Give us Arthur info dump

Personal Journal (tw for animal death!)

Entry 003, XX/XX/2008

Haaaaaah. Farnbury… What a place! I expected to be shell shocked when I got here, honestly! But, underneath the starry sky… I feel at home. I guess I’m home when I’m in the trees, no matter which direction I find myself! ^^ But, there are some differences compared to New York. For starters, it’s not as cold! I love the cold weather, so I never complained at home, but now in February, I feel overdressed! I also… I made friends!! Two of them!! Can you believe it!? Of course I can believe it, me! They’re both so… just wow!

I was just setting up my camp for the night when I met him! My first ever friend!! (Better late than never!) He seemed startled to see me out there, but I think he relaxed once he realized I wasn’t like a bear or something! (Even though being a bear would be super cool!) He was very quiet, and I started to fill the space by talking! I… I usually find it hard to start conversations, but talking to him came so easy! He just listened, and that was nice. I guess that’s what friends do! Anyways, that’s how we first met! Ever since then, I’ve been running into him here and there! He actually works at the diner I go to for breakfast! He’s probably used to my order by now, since I always get the same thing! (Pancakes, short stack, and coffee) His name is Tommie! And I think that name suits him marvelously! He is very much a Tommie! ^^

I made my second friend just recently! Here I am, braving the wilderness in hopes of solving the mystery surrounding the farnbury entity, but… well… this is taking longer than I thought it would! When I found that cursed picture online, it only took me two weeks to contain the entity! Bam! Done! No more silly dog! But… this entity seems… different. It’s… stronger than most. I have some theories about it, but I’ll detail them in my proper investigation journal. Anyways! Where was I? Right! It’s taking a long time to get to the bottom of this thing! So, I soon found myself almost out of money. And so, that means I needed a job! The only problem is that… well… no one wants to hire a guy living out of a tent! Except for one person! Bonnibel… Bonnie! My beautiful Bonnie! She saved me from total, utter despair!! Heh… okay that’s dramatic! But! She hired me to work at her antique shop! And I’m so proud to say we get along swimmingly! She’s so gentle and kind and doesn’t yell at me if I miscalculate change! Actually, now that I think about it… this is my first proper job! Huh! How epic!!!

Bonnie has a truly beautiful ability. She can see ghosts! What are the odds of her befriending me!? She’s surrounded by the paranormal, and I hope she’ll let me help if anything troublesome bothers her. I have a whole section in my notes dedicated to banishing spirits! I hope she can rely on me… She actually… She told me a ghost follows me. A small hare… hopping wherever I go. I… um…

Well I guess if I’m telling this journal everything, I’ll tell it everything. When I first encountered the farnbury entity, I lost control of myself for a second. The entity seemed to try and get in my head. It completely mixed my thoughts around, I couldn’t make out up or down, left or right. I started freaking out, in the woods, all alone. My tics started going haywire! I couldn’t control my body anymore and I just… spazzed. (I guess my high school peers were spot on with that nickname.) I ended up falling down a steeper-than-average hill. I must’ve hit my head because when I woke up, it was daylight. I was fine again. However… on my way down the hill, I… crushed… a rabbit. I felt so awful! The poor little thing! I started to panic! Luckily, my brother had taught me well, and I managed to calm my breathing (and my tears!) and took care of the rabbit by giving it a small burial. I didn’t really have any tools on hand, so I used what I could to make a little grave. I must’ve looked like I was going to faint when Bonnie told me she saw a hare with me! But, how I’ll choose to interpret it is that the rabbit is looking after me. After all, I think he knows it was an accident (I hope he knows!) Maybe he’s hopping around after me to keep me out of trouble! I’ll choose to look on the bright side!

In all my years, I’ve endured countless jabs and bullying and that one fight before I left high school. I can’t help but admit that I was losing hope I’d ever make actual friends… But… Here in Farnbury, things are different. I made friends. I have friends. And I will do anything to protect them, and any other future friends I might make. I will figure this entity out, nullify it, and invite Tommie and Bonnie to travel the whole country with me when I’m done!!!

[darkhymns-fic]

The falling snow tells us, our love makes us strong

Months after escaping Welgaia, Lloyd Aurion and Colette Brunel are on the run from Cruxis. But a brief rest in Flanoir has them considering an important question: Why not get married?

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Altessa, Pronyma, Genis Sage Rating: T Word Count: 11,232 Mirror: AO3 Notes: It's Colloyd Day! So here is the art and fic collab me and @frayed-symphony have been working on for our Cruxis Lloyd AU. More notes about this fic are on the AO3 mirror. Thank you to everyone who joined in on today's event too! ✨

--

When they had arrived at Flanoir, it was the very first time that Lloyd had ever seen snow.

They hadn’t had much time to really explore the area, already searching for an inn. That and Lloyd had been looking at every passerby with suspicion. It was routine for Cruxis to instill agents into towns, but none gave them more than a passing glance. It was just the two of them, like any couple visiting for a holiday—or perhaps any pair of travelers embarking on a pilgrimage.

He thought he could even see the spire points of a cathedral, far ahead…

“Hey, Lloyd!”

He turned, a little wired from their travels but trying to shake it away. “Huh?”

“Here!” Colette giggled as she held out her cupped hands to him. Within those hands was snow she must have gathered as they walked into the town, pure white and just so cold. He could see her shiver from the touch, but she seemed to relish it. Her smile was ecstatic, the flush on her cheeks as pretty to him as the sunrise on this world.

Tentatively, he held out his hands, accepting the snow from her as it slid down from her palms to his. “Uh, what do I do with it?”

“You can use it to make a snowman. Or even a snowball!” She tilted her head, looking at the drifting flakes around them. “At least, that’s what the child from before told me, hehe. I don’t have much snow where I come from either.”

Lloyd looked down, already feeling so cold that his hands were becoming numb. Even though he still wore his gloves, his Exsphere winking from its place on the back of his left hand, he could still feel the chill wind cutting through the fabric—and still feel the warmth of Colette’s cheeks whenever he touched them.

He grinned, packing the snow more firmer between his palms. “I think I read about this once. You gotta make it like this!”

And before Colette could ask him, Lloyd had somehow made the snowball into a doggy-shaped snow sculpture instead. It had a snout, two floppy ears, and even a tail, indicated by the small nudges in the snow. It had been carved with dextrous fingers, its simplicity belying the little details Lloyd had accomplished with it.

“Wow! How did you…?”

“Pretty cool, huh?” Lloyd said with a smile, then carefully handed it to her. “It’s…probably gonna fall apart if you so much as breathe on it, but it’s for you!”

The little doggy did look as frail as anything, already a few flakes off the top of its head blowing along with the wind. But Colette held the snowdog carefully in her hands, cupping it just so that it could be safe, as well as comfortable.

Lloyd couldn’t help but be in awe at her consideration for what was just a silly thing he made. He chuckled slightly. “You don’t have to be that careful, Colette. I don’t want you to have to keep that thing around while we walk.”

At his words, Colette raised her head, blinking curiously. “But you made it for me, Lloyd. I’d like to keep it for a little longer, if that’s okay.”

Lloyd instantly flushed. Now he worried that he sounded like he was blaming her for her caution. “I mean, you still can! Just… uh, never mind.” Sometimes he still spoke so awkwardly… and maybe it was because someone like Colette was right in front of him, caring for something that wasn’t even a living creature.

She smiled at him, holding up the snow doggy, marveling at the little details that were already in danger of melting away. “He kinda looks like the dog you have… Noishe, right?”

Lloyd swallowed, remembering Noishe, shocked almost at how much he missed those high whines of him. “Heh, yeah. I guess I was thinking about him.”

Colette nodded. “Me too.” Her gaze lifted to the far south, past the snow-coated stairs that led further into town. “I heard this place had some famous ice sculptures. Maybe we can put Snoishe there and he can be with friends!”

Lloyd almost hadn’t caught it, waiting a full three seconds before asking Colette, “Snoishe?”

“Oh!” Colette giggled and flushed as well, the redness in her cheeks matching prettily with her hair. “Hehe, that’s what I named this little doggy. Is that too weird?”

“No way! It’s…it’s cute.” Lloyd brushed away the snowflakes from his hair, feeling it grow damp. Or maybe he just needed something to do with his hands. He could always make another snow dog. “Want to see those ice sculptures then?”

And as they climbed the stairs, Colette still holding her precious doggy charge while Lloyd made sure she wouldn’t slip on any icy surface, he couldn’t help but feel warm, even in such a cold place.

He hoped they’d stay safe here, at least for a little while.

.

.

.

Because it was only just a few days before, when they’d have to lay low within a strange home carved into the mountainside within the dark, hoping no one would track them down.

Hoping Cruxis had long lost their scent and was now searching for scraps of their existence.

Lloyd remembered heavy footfalls coming through the open door, his nerves still on high-alert. But Colette’s hand in his grip didn’t tighten, didn’t flinch at their visitor. He willed himself to calm down, raising his head towards the dwarf.

“Is it alright to come near?” asked Altessa.

“Uh, yeah,” Lloyd answered. He tightened his fingers around Colette’s, feeling nothing back. Both of them sat on a bed, the guest bedroom a generous offering from their host. “She won’t do anything.”

And how many people could Lloyd say would ever take in those such as them; a boy who knew so little of the worlds below, and a girl who couldn’t speak, couldn’t laugh or cry, but only gaze ahead?

The dwarf entered the room, his eyes hidden beneath heavy brows, his beard trailing nearly to the floor. Back in Welgaia, Lloyd had never seen a dwarf, had barely even known about their existence except in books. But ever since he and Colette had escaped, Lloyd had seen so many things, so many different people that were not just the impassive faces of angels.

He looked to what Altessa was holding in his grip. “What is…”

It glinted in the lamplight. At first glance, it looked like a necklace, but the characters written into it were so ancient that even Lloyd could barely read it. A looped chain trailed from the fashioned piece of metal, the links made in it so miniscule. It seemed that even a good tug would rip the thing apart, but Lloyd recalled what Kratos told him about dwarven craftsmanship.

“The Rune Crest, by what you and that girl from Mizuho were able to give me. The old Key Crest still lives on in this.” Altessa held the accessory facing upwards, and Lloyd remembered the red jewel that had been a part of the Key Crest that Colette used to own. He couldn’t help but notice how the jewel was the same color as Colette’s eyes...

“It was still very good work, with a strong foundation and a knowledge of the craft.” Altessa gave a nod, or Lloyd assumed he did. It was hard to tell through the thicket of hair that made up much of the dwarf’s face. “But without the right ingredients, such a necklace would have only stalled the inevitable. Was it yours?”

Lloyd hadn’t expected the question, momentarily stunned as if he had been struck over the head. “Uh–I, um…” He looked away, rubbing a thumb over Colette’s skin. “Another dwarf made it. Back in Sylvarant. His name is Dirk. I don’t know how to make things like that.”

Dirk had also been one of the first people Lloyd had met since escaping Welgaia. A man with a loud laugh, a shorter beard than Altessa’s, but his eyes had been more open, more friendly to his and Colette’s plight despite barely knowing them. He was also an old friend of Kratos.

How did dad even meet a guy like him? But it was a question he wasn’t getting an answer out of anytime soon. Kratos had been gone, continually trying to throw Cruxis off their trail. There had been no guarantee if he’d even see his father again, a father he still felt he barely knew.

Lloyd rubbed a hand over his forehead, feeling dizzy. Feeling oddly alone. Because Colette still wouldn’t hold back his hand.

“Ya haven’t eaten or slept in hours, boy,” spoke Altessa once more, his voice as gruff as rocks being grounded to a fine dust. “Let Tabatha treat you to some dinner, and I will work on affixing the Rune Crest.”

“Huh? But, I’m fine.” Yet even as he said it, he was already swaying, losing his balance, and—

And Colette held onto his hand, swiftly. To keep him from tumbling to the floor.

Lloyd stiffened, suddenly so wide awake. Any of the fatigue had vanished with a faint hope that was already lightening his chest. He quickly turned to Colette, who sat on his left side. “Colette? Are you–?”

When they had left Welgaia, they had only the clothes on their back. Seeing Colette against the soft lantern lights that hung from the wooden beams overhead, she still wore her Chosen outfit, white trimmed in a light blue that turned dusky in the atmosphere. Her hair still held a golden shine, and her other hand was placed limply over her lap.

Yet even as she held onto Lloyd, Colette only continued to look ahead, her eyes steeped in red emptiness. Her wings, also, were framed behind her like a faded stained-glass window.

In every other aspect, she didn’t move. She didn’t speak. She sat there, frozen, like a sculpture.

Had it only been reflex? Was it foolish for him to think it had been more? Lloyd felt the sudden hope in him melt away.

He felt another hand press against his shoulder, roughly. Fingers kneaded through the fabric to grab his attention. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Colette just yet.

“Does this mean she’s still in there?” he asked Altessa.

The dwarf took a moment to form his answer. That silence was already enough to tell Lloyd what he thought. Still, he spoke, “Many who succumb to their Exspheres react on their motor skills alone. She also has that ancient sickness.”

Lloyd knew what he meant. The patches of green crystal were still present on her, reaching up to her cheeks. It had worsened since when they first met.

There was always a chance that Altessa’s craftsmanship might not be enough.

“Go now. Or you will distract me from my work.”

You’re useless here. Lloyd heard the meaning between the words. He couldn’t deny it.

Lloyd stood up finally, letting go of Colette’s hand. Her fingers slipped from his so easily, her hand going to join with the other in her lap.

Maybe it had just been reflex, after all.

Lloyd left the room, his stomach hurting, and only hoped that Altessa could cure all of their problems.

.

.

.

It wasn’t long after they visited the ice sculptures, and Colette had placed little Snoishe next to one that was called Bigfoot, (and seemed kind of intimidating… Did these kind of monsters really live on the worlds below?) that Lloyd noticed something. Even though they were still outside, the snowfall not lessening, and the chill continuing to make them shiver, Colette started to take off her gloves. First by the top right of her left hand, pulling at the fabric until it was free.

When they had left Welgaia, her crystallis had worsened, taking over that certain hand completely, encased in glass that looked in danger of breaking into pieces at any moment. Though she kept up her smile, it was clear that she was in pain, her fingers too stiff to even move, the skin always threatening to crack.

But now her hand was clear of any crystal. She could flex her fingers into her palm. The only memory of the crystal left were a few lines of scars here and there, a dim pale white against peach.

With both ungloved hands, she cupped them to her mouth, breathing out. To warm them. 

He must have stared for too long, for she caught his gaze, her head raised and her blue eyes catching the brief sunlight that could pierce through the thick clouds. Her smile made him waver a bit, made him clear his throat as he tried to cover up the embarrassment.

“Hey, um, if you’re too cold we can go inside somewhere,” he said, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as it sounded in his ears. “We can try staying at one of those inns you mentioned before.”

Colette once again moved her fingers, blowing out another warm breath that turned to mist in the air. She paused, looking at her hands with curiosity.

This got Lloyd to worry, a frenzy of thoughts rushing through his head. Was there suddenly a lost sensation? Did the crystal sickness come back? He walked up to her before he could think. “Colette?

And then, without any hesitation, she reached for his own hand, clasping his right together with both of her own.

Lloyd stopped, flushed deeply, but said nothing else.

“I really am cold,” Colette said, but she said so with such joy that he could feel it in the way she gripped his hands, and could see it in the turn of her smile. Snowflakes caught onto her eyelashes, only some of it falling away with a blink. “And I’m so, so glad. I also feel my own breath when I try to warm them, and I can feel you now! I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to again…”

They hadn’t really talked about it before, their rush from Altessa’s home before Cruxis could find them again overtaking their thoughts. But Lloyd rushed a thumb over Colette’s own, feeling her shiver, then clasping their hands more tightly together.

“I promise you’ll never have to go through that again.” Another brief gust of wind blew past them, whipping up their cloaks around their bodies. Lloyd shuddered a bit at how the cold bit at his ears. “And, I think we should definitely head inside somewhere. I don’t want you to suddenly get sick just after getting your sense of touch back.”

Colette giggled, taking his grip more firmly, entwining their fingers together while she let one of her hands fall to her side. “Can we keep holding hands as we walk? If that’s okay.”

Lloyd did all he could to not grin like an idiot, but by the stretch of his cheeks, he had already failed hard. He didn’t care. “Heh, yeah, I’ll keep you warm then! You can count on me!”

If he had been back in Welgaia, someone (like Kratos) would have told him to tone down his voice. How one didn’t need to shout, or show such emotions so freely. But Colette absorbed his excitement with a glow on her face, giggling along with him as they went back to the stairs that led to the different levels of the town. 

Lloyd tried to recall where the inn was exactly. Didn’t we pass by it before? He was about to lead them down, until Colette gave a little tug with their interlocked hands. 

“Hey, Lloyd. Do you see that? It looks so beautiful.”

She was looking upwards, just past a lamppost they were standing under, the light inside its glass container flickering. He followed her gaze, past the light, blinking away the snowflakes that flurried around them both.

It was only then that Lloyd suddenly realized how close they were to that cathedral, its spires reaching high into the rapidly darkening sky. Though it was up another flight of stairs, he could now clearly see its architecture. Dark stone cut walls that steeply climbed, its rooftops covered in several inches of snow. But what made it fascinating were the myriad of colors that reflected off its many windows. From sharp crimson to ever gentle green, and what little left of the sunlight making such colors shimmer before them. 

It was beautiful, and yet also so familiar. In Vinheim, Lloyd was sure he’d seen such similar designs too. He saw the shapes of people pass by it, some going through its great double doors, hearing the wood creak. 

“I know what it is now,” Colette spoke softly, catching his attention. She kept their hands clasped, even as she looked further away at the structure. “There’s another church similar to this back in Sylvarant, so grand and wonderful. A place where you could pray to Martel. I know it’s made by Cruxis, but…” 

Lloyd heard the strange note in her voice, a mixture of emotion he wasn’t sure he could identify. Sadness? Or pain? Maybe even anger at all the lies Cruxis had fed her all her life? “Colette… If it’s too much, we can leave this place. We’ll find another town to rest in.”

“No, that’s not…” She shook her head. He noticed how the flush rose in her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lloyd. But, it’s not that I’m unhappy seeing this. It’s, well, it actually reminded me that I wanted to ask you something…”

He didn’t understand just yet, but he wanted to. He wanted to learn more about Colette, as eager as a starving man stranded in the wilderness. Because that’s what all these years had felt like without her; empty and weary, but her face broke the pattern of the gray stillness he had long been used to.

Maybe it showed in Lloyd’s face, his desperation, until Colette’s eyes met with his. She held his hands gently, as she did with that silly snow dog he had made, unaware he had crafted it in the shape of Noishe. Is Noishe okay with Dirk? he asked himself, remembering seeing his dog, once his only friend, comfortable in the makeshift stable the dwarf had created for him, as if the place had always been his home.

Then, Colette lifted up his hand, still encased in his glove. It had been too cold for him to remove it like he did with hers. He wasn’t used to this weather, to the changing seasons as with everything else that made up both Sylvarant and Tethe’alla. 

She held up his hand by the fingers, his knuckles then pressed against her lips. She did it softly, the warmth of it rushing through the fabric, making his chest tighten and his heart beat rapidly. Suddenly, his face felt hot, despite all the snow.

It took him a moment or two to realize that she had just kissed his hand. He didn’t even know what to say.

Back in Altessa’s home, underneath the night sky, he had also felt this same sensation when she…

Underneath the softly flickering lamplight, as the snows fell around them both, Colette finally asked her question.

.

.

.

“Keep her hidden,” Kratos had told Lloyd on his brief visit—so brief, Lloyd could barely remember if his father had mentioned anything else. “And don’t bring attention to yourself.”

On Welgaia, before they had made their escape, Lloyd had rarely left his room. He made sure to keep the door locked, and to sneak away food from the nearby supply machines. Arms full of gels, of fruits and vegetables, and other packaged assortments that he had never seen another angel ever eat. But just like with the coffee from before, he shared such treats with Colette, who stayed huddled in the blankets of his bed.

Lloyd tried to get rid of the nervousness of having another person in his room, messy as it was. Just his bed and some sparse furniture, along with a few plants he had focused on to grow underneath artificial lights. She didn’t seem to mind though, especially as Noishe had nuzzled her cheek with affection, his tail wagging at the excitement. It was probably one of the first times Lloyd had ever seen Noishe not balk or whine at the concept of a new person hanging around.

Colette, sitting on his bed and wrapped in blankets, had been busy scratching behind Noishe’s ears before Lloyd relayed her the news. The crystal over her arm had slipped past her sleeves. She unconsciously pulled it back down, hiding it from sight.

“Mr. Kratos was here?” she had asked him.

“Yeah…for a little bit.” He scratched the back of his neck, taking a roll of bread from the stash he brought, and taking a big bite from it. “I don’t know what he’s up to though. He never really tells me anything if he can help it.” He swallowed, then offered the other half of his meal. “Want some?”

Colette nodded, her own bites a small nibble in comparison, as if she didn’t want to intrude too much on this offered food item. She made a curious noise in his throat. “This tastes a little strange…”

“Huh? Is it bad?” He was sure the bread hadn’t gone stale… It physically couldn’t, unless the machine was broken.

“No, not bad… just different. Maybe because it’s not made the way our bread is back on Sylvarant.” She tilted her head. “Or…are my senses being strange again?”

Lloyd didn’t know. If Kratos was still here, he could have probably asked him, but his father never stayed in one place for so long. “It’s probably because it’s, uh, synthetic? I think that’s the right word. Hey, I can just get us more food though!” With a quick gulp of a gel, Lloyd got up, then wagged a finger at Noishe. “Don’t eat the gels, Noishe. They’re bad for you. Too much sugar!”

A soft plaintive whine, followed by Colette giggling besides the furry creature. “Can I feed him some of these sausages then?”

“Well… just a little!” Lloyd answered as if he never snuck his dog a pile of sausage slices himself. “But try to stay quiet in case anyone’s around. I’ll be back!”

Colette nodded, smiling at him. “Okay. You be careful, too.” She said so while still wrapped in his blankets, her hair shining brightly, even in the dimness of his room.

He had only known her for a few days, keeping her in his room. She had slept for so many hours, catching up on the rest she had sorely missed during her sickness. She saw her yawn a bit, and was certain she’d take another nap again.

No one else had ever slept in his bed before. Noishe didn’t count.

Lloyd left quietly, letting the door, powered by magitechnology, whoosh past him to slide shut. He left the hallway, finally making it out of one of the many empty buildings for the supply machines.

Welgaia had always been a place filled with silence, the air charged from remembered encounters. It wasn’t like Lloyd talked with people every day—sometimes not even for weeks at a time. The entire population was filled with other angels who barely spoke, who barely moved a muscle, letting their wings take them where they needed to go. They never even needed to blink.

Lloyd brushed past some of these angels, who conversed with each other only when it concerned with their duties (“Lord Yggdrasill has stated retrieval of the Chosen as our top priority.” “The warp pad is currently at 70 percent efficiency. Repairs are forthcoming.”) Few barely gave him a glance. It seemed these angels weren’t given the information that it had been up to Lloyd to find the Chosen.

He was so glad none of them had the capacity to be curious enough to ask.

His wings dissipated as he flew towards a platform for a familiar machine—one that should work and not be close to breaking down like a few others. Lloyd always wondered if all the machines suddenly stopped working, would he just starve? No one else seemed to ever need to use these. 

It won’t matter once we leave, he thought, fiddling with the buttons and dials, until he felt a presence near him.

He didn’t even need to hear her speak to know who it was.

“You again.”

Lloyd, with half an orange gel in his mouth from his latest stash, turned around quickly to face her. Keep an eye on your surroundings, Kratos had told him. If his dad had been watching right now, he would have given him a failing grade.

He had met Pronyma enough times, as she tended to visit Welgaia. The lady was hard to miss. Her attire did all it could to make an entrance, the fanning blades of her armor now enclosed around her, like a shield of metal. But Lloyd knew if anyone got close enough, those same blades would reach outward, impaling anyone who came too close.

Lloyd didn’t remember this exactly—but Kratos had mentioned how at seven years old, he had nearly gone too close to the woman, wandering to her in curiosity. Kratos still sported a scar across his forearm when he had shielded Lloyd quickly from the attack. “Said she never liked children,” Kratos had said, his tone completely humorless. Even though it had happened years ago, Lloyd had never seen his father so quietly angry.

She wasn’t as close to him now, but her dark eyes, painted in kohl, riveted onto him, as well as onto the several gels he was holding in his right palm. No one really hung out around the food dispenser he was at—he was still one of the only people here who regularly ate food. Or gels.

Then again, Pronyma wasn’t an angel. Does she actually use these?

“You… need something?” Lloyd mumbled in confusion, still chewing on his gel.

At that, Pronyma snorted in disgust. “So, you still talk with your mouth full, I see.” Then a smile, her lips cutting across her face in a dark line. “Lord Yggdrasill is truly so merciful.”

It was more than just her words—her tone was biting into him. But Lloyd held back any remarks he was tempted to make. Kratos had told him not to, that and the gel did effectively keep him from talking too much.

Even after all this time, Lloyd knew so little about Pronyma, or what exactly her role was besides being a Grand Cardinal. It was also so rare to see her on her own, usually so attached Yggdrasill’s side, like some loyal dog.

And like a dog, she obeyed her master’s commands, punishing Lloyd to the fullest. His side still ached from the last time.

Frustrated she was still here, Lloyd pointedly turned away. “I have to go,” he said.

He didn’t see her expression, but her tone did all the imagining for him. “Oh? Does this mean you actually have your other duties to attend to, besides stuffing your face? Or that you will finally do what Lord Yggdrasill has ordered of you?”

Find the Chosen. Find Colette. And bring her to Lord Yggdrasill.

He would never follow through on that last command.

Gritting his teeth, he turned back—and that was when Pronyma moved a fraction closer.

Lloyd did all he could to not relinquish any space to her. She was his same height, but her demeanor made her more intimidating than even Yggdrasill at times. “Each of Lord Yggdrasill’s servants have their tasks. You’d do well to remember that.”

He never understood why she seemed to hate him so much.

At that point, Lloyd couldn’t help it. “I’m not his lackey,” he said, and that unlocked even more from him. “I’m not like you!”

He inwardly winced. That was a mistake.

Pronyma frowned immediately, uncrossing her arms. She just barely floated in the air, the tips of her steel-toed heels hovering only an inch above the floor. She floated towards him again.

Lloyd instinctively unsheathed one of his swords, practically hearing Kratos’ reprimanding voice in his head the very second he did so. Another mistake.

“And what exactly do you expect to do with that?” she asked him. She leaned over, Lloyd unsure whether to raise his sword or put it away, and instead held it mid-level. Her smile was so cruel and poisonous, that he tried not to look at it. But there wasn’t much elsewhere to retreat to. It seemed like she blocked any reasonable path of escape.

It was the same smile she had given when she attacked him on Yggdrasill’s orders. Cruel and vindictive, and oddly joyous at him failing to do anything else.

She saw him hesitate. She deftly knocked the sword aside with her heavy mace she was suddenly holding, the metal glinting a bright gold in its arc.

The quick motion had made him drop it. His grip had been lax, his nerves had been shaky. And his mouth still tasted of the orange gel. 

“I could very much report to Lord Yggdrasill that you are causing trouble again, ignoring your task . It would be simple, since you already do so often enough.” Then, surprisingly, she moved back.

Lloyd found himself breathing again. He hadn’t before?

With a bored shrug, she was turning away again. There were different parts of Welgaia, and the hint of violet above for what served as their ‘skies’ was broiling, more evident out here, more aware that Yggdrasill’s domain was not far ahead.

“The Chosen must be retrieved soon. Surely you remember that.” She said the words in nearly a hiss. “Or do you wish for your father to die?”

The words sent a brief flash of rage through him. Rage and contempt. His father had been under their noses, had even visited Lloyd, and Pronyma still had no clue. Or she wouldn’t be talking so easily about Kratos with that awful smile on her face.

“You can’t even find him like you can’t find the Chosen!” he shot back. “So do I even have anything to worry about?”

Immediately he felt a backhand across his face. The force was so strong he thought he had been hit with a boulder. He stumbled, hitting the side of the machine roughly, hearing the metal dent and crack.

And when he raised his head, Pronyma’s smile was gone. Her teeth were bared, and her eyes suddenly looked so dark and furious.

“Impudent little pest. You’ve been on such good behavior, even agreeing to follow on your latest orders. And yet, you would go and ruin all that?” She then grabbed Lloyd’s chin, bringing him around to face her again.

“H-Hey! What are you—?”

“Be quiet, Son of Kratos. Pure filth. All your little rebellious attempts have given you nothing. A pity you simply can’t be executed along with your miserable traitor of a father, but Mithos saw there was more use for you. I won’t question him. My Lord knows best.”

The shock and discomfort he was feeling was soon overtaken by confusion. “Mithos?”

Pronyma’s eyes widened.

“You called him—”

“Shut up.”

She tightened her grip, nails digging into his skin. He reflexively reached for her wrist to pull away—but it was like she was made of stone. “Let me go!”

“Did you forget your other sword?”

She pushed him away before he could respond. Lloyd stumbled, his back hitting the machine again . Though he flinched, he tried to keep his eyes open. He could already feel his wings start to form to each side of him, his emotions still running high.

Any of the previous shock from before had left Pronyma’s face. Instead, she smiled once more. A cold expression, her lips in a thin line. “Or maybe Yggdrasill’s lesson has rubbed off on you. I will be sure to give him the good news.”

With that, she vanished, lines of shadow cutting through her image before she fully faded away. Lloyd had already turned away by then, looking towards his fallen sword.

Dammit. He winced, trying to stand, his face now feeling sensitive. Guess that could have gone worse.

Lloyd attempted to get back to getting more of the food from the machine until he took another look at it. It was almost half-destroyed, the front glass of it cracked, and the buttons dislodged. Electricity sparked from its sides. 

It was completely broken, another machine left to decay in this already dead world. Lloyd sighed, looking at the few orange gels he had managed to snag before the end. 

At least he and Colette wouldn’t starve just yet.

He couldn’t even remember the journey back, his motions almost mechanical. A quick flight past other angels who still didn’t give him a glance, a turn into an empty structure, then unlocking his door. The orange gels already felt too warm in his hands, and he sighed at his incompetence of even doing this single thing right.

“Hey, Colette. Sorry, I wasn’t really able to get much…”

He stopped when he heard a startled gasp. Raising his head, he saw how Colette had already left her cocoon of blankets, rushing up to him.

“Lloyd! Your face…”

“Huh?” He pressed two fingers gingerly against his cheek, then winced. Ugh. If it already hurt this much, he could only imagine how bad the bruise must have been. “Sorry, I just…got caught off guard.”

Colette still looked at him with that worried expression. She reached out her hand—the one where the crystal had spread up past her wrist—and then hesitated. Yet, it was only for a second, for she then pressed her hand against his cheek so gently, so softly. 

Lloyd felt sensitive at being touched, but it didn’t spark any new pain. He found himself leaning into that touch, without fully realizing it.

“Who did this to you?” she asked him. She talked to him in such a soft voice, that it almost made his heart break.

He couldn’t remember anyone ever talking to him like this, like he was fragile and precious. If Kratos ever did, it was probably back when he was a kid, back from when he could barely remember anything.

Lloyd shook. “It’s…nobody. Nothing.” He looked away. “I’ll heal up quick. That’s what my Exsphere is for.”

“But…it still hurts you, doesn’t it?”

It did so, so much.

Lloyd couldn’t find it in himself to answer, but he felt Colette take his other hand, leading him to the bed. Sometimes, after a punishment from either Yggdrasill, or from Pronyma, or even another angel following orders, Lloyd would collapse onto his bed, waiting for the pain to finally fade away. Maybe, in some ways, he was a bit jealous of the other angels. They didn’t have to feel anything like this.

But then they didn’t feel anything at all regardless.

The last time he had done this, he had been paralyzed, Yggdrasill standing over him and giving him his orders to bring Colette. But now, it was Colette who led him to it, who wrapped the blankets around him, and then her arms. 

She laid with him on the bed, holding him close. To his other side, he could feel Noishe curling up beside him, his wet nose nuzzling against his hand.

“We can give you an apple gel if you’re still feeling bad,” Colette told him. Her head was pressed into his chest, her hair tickling his chin. “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Don’t…apologize. How is it your fault?” But even as he spoke, something in his voice cracked. His body shook, and then his arms wrapped around Colette so tightly. She didn’t seem to mind the strain. “It’s never your fault.”

A pause, before Colette whispered to him, “Then, please know that it’s not your fault either. Don’t blame yourself for getting hurt.” She looked up at him, her eyes bright in the dark.

There was something there that she knew, more deeply than anything else.

They continued to hold each other in the bed, quietly, even as Lloyd felt himself sobbing for the first time in years.

.

.

.

“Lloyd, will you marry me?”

Colette’s voice was as clear as a bell within the winter air.

How she held his hand was that same gentleness from before, all those nights ago. Even with his palms callused from his training, from using his swords to fight against the angels that continually chased after them, she handled it delicately within her own.

He stood there, his cheeks hot, his mouth half-open. Only dimly was he aware of the townspeople that walked around them, traveling up those same stars, going into nearby shops or even to that same church. 

“I…” he croaked out, his voice halting. 

Colette was patient with his shortcomings as always. She smiled at him, even as she shivered in her cloak. “I know it’s sudden,” she said to him. “And I know we haven’t even known each other for that long… But I’ve never been happier than I am with you. I feel…more alive than I ever have before.”

Alive. Something in that word held meaning. 

Lloyd, whose memories consisted of the dead world of Welgaia, knowing only the dead eyes of angels—had he ever been living before?

Colette laughed slightly, nervousness finally leaking through. “But, we don’t have to! It’s a little silly, isn’t it?” Her fingers tapped against his hand. He still remembered the feel of her kiss against it. “And you must be really tired from all that traveling—”

“I want to.”

Colette paused, blinking. She stared up at Lloyd, the snowflakes catching onto her eyelashes. It made him want to reach out and brush them away so much. It made him want to kiss them, to hold her close, to feel the heat even in the deep chill.

“Wait, I mean yes!” Lloyd restrained himself from smacking his own head. “That’s what I’m supposed to say, right? So, yes! I want to marry you!”

He spoke so loud that a few heads turned at his shouting. Some with raised eyebrows, others with laughing grins. Lloyd flushed in embarrassment. Maybe they thought he was proposing when it was the other way around…

“Lloyd…” Colette said his name in soft whisper, holding it as gently as she held his hand. “Are you sure?”

He grinned wide, gripping her hands back and bringing her close. He embraced her, just as they did in his bed, but with a giddy happiness this time. A hopeful thing blossoming in his chest as the wind gently tugged at both of their cloaks.

“Colette, I want to marry you,” he said, and knew what that meant, even having grown up in a world where such things hadn’t even been a possibility.

To say yes was to continue to live.

.

.

.

“You’re very weird, you know.”

Lloyd jumped, turning around to see the small child next to him in the kitchen of a wooden home. The boy’s silver hair shone from the sun beaming through an open window, the locks hiding his long ears. Genis had called himself an elf, but Lloyd could sense the mana coming from him. The mixture of human and elf was something he was all too familiar with, remembering the angels back home.

“...I don’t follow,” Lloyd said. He was leaning on a counter, to the spot closest to a window.

Genis rolled his eyes. “You act like you’ve never seen trees before.”

“...Ohhh.” Well, of course. “Uh, they’re kinda rare where I’m from, you know! So it’s kinda new to me.”

Nice save! Lloyd thought with pride. 

He probably shouldn’t have just begun staring at the trees out the window for what must have been more than ten minutes, but there were just so many! After escaping from Welgaia, it was all he could do to not just examine every small thing he came across; from the river that cut through the ground just past this house, to even the home itself with its walls made of cut wood. The only real metal he saw was from Dirk’s blacksmithing corner of the house, along with a cooking pot that hung near a stove—the same cooking pot Genis was using now, cutting some vegetables to dump into the pot.

Lloyd shifted his feet, hearing the wood creak underneath his boots. He and Colette had arrived here just a day ago, finally making their escape from Welgaia. He thought he’d be prepared, but he didn’t expect such a stark difference from the world he had lived in for all of his life.

Everything here just felt so alive.

“So… have you been living in someplace like Triet? I guess there’s not many trees there.” Genis seemed to really ponder on this, still staring at Lloyd with some suspicion, even as he multitasked on his cooking. His sister, the one called Raine, had apparently gone to see Colette who was still upstairs, but she hadn’t looked at Lloyd with much welcome in her eyes either.

Lloyd wondered if it was the way he was dressed. He supposed he hadn’t changed out of his training outfit yet…

“It seems like a very strange ecosystem that you lived in if trees really are a rarity.” 

The kid really wouldn’t let it go. Lloyd tried to shrug nonchalantly, eyes fixated on a little snail that crawled by the riverbank in the distance. So that’s what they look like… “Well, I just traveled around. Like my dad. We never stayed in one place. Uh, like places with not much trees!”

Oh, now he just sounded crazy.

Lloyd really just wanted to keep exploring this strange land, and was half-tempted to just leap through the window to do so. When he and Colette had escaped through one of the working warp pads from Welgaia, the sheer amount of greenery and fresh air was something he was still reeling from. But they’d had to rush from Kratos’ directions, finding this home that belonged to a dwarf, one that Kratos had apparently known for years.

And one of the first things the dwarf had said upon greeting Lloyd, warm eyes beneath bushy brows, was, “Haven’t seen ya since you were a small babe. You’ve truly grown.”

It set something aching in Lloyd, suddenly, even with Dirk’s kindness. I could have lived here.

Genis was still staring at him, even as a breeze picked up and blew through the window, tousling both of their hair. The wind brought in the scent of the nearby oak trees, making Lloyd’s nose tickle.

And Genis still kept staring at him.

“Do you…have to keep looking at me?” Lloyd asked, not without some annoyance in his tone.

Genis was not put off. In fact, he raised his head to meet Lloyd’s eyes fully. “Hey, you’re the one that’s hanging out in the kitchen with me.”

“I’m just waiting for Colette to be done, that’s all!” he said in a huff.

“And that’s another thing. My best friend suddenly shows up with some guy who doesn’t know what trees look like. I’m supposed to just accept that like it’s no big deal?”

“But I’m not doing anything!” Lloyd groaned, crossing his arms. “I just haven’t been here before.”

“Hm. And that you’re Kratos’ son?”

“Hey, I know he’s mentioned me!” Kind of. Sort of. Lloyd shook his head, going back to looking at some wildflowers growing in a pot by the door. Something new to look at, because even though the trees were fascinating, it did get a bit boring.

Then, a sigh from behind him. What else was this Genis kid going to complain about next?

“I thought I’d never see Colette again.”

The tone of Genis’ voice startled Lloyd enough to turn around. Suddenly, any of that attitude from before had evaporated, leaving a boy with sad eyes, looking towards the boiling cooking pot.

“When I saw her get taken at the tower, I thought… that would be it. She was gone forever, and Kratos was the one who took over. I didn’t even know it would be like that until…” His voice died, still looking away, the sun beating down on his silver hair.

Lloyd just stood there, unsure at first what to say. Would anything he said even be wanted? Kratos’ son. From what Colette had told him, they thought his father had betrayed them, giving her to Cruxis. So, would they really trust his son any better?

He thought on it for so long, with only the birdsong to fill in the silence—which was another fascination that Lloyd experienced. To hear sounds that weren't just the hum of machines or electrical wiring. There was the wind, the rustling of the trees, and the small animals that scurried into the bushes, away from his eyes.

“So, is it true?” Genis suddenly asked.

“Uh, what?” Lloyd asked dumbly. Damn, he was really not doing this first impression thing well. 

The boy took a moment before he followed up with, “That you’re in love with Colette.”

…

What?

Lloyd was still, a thousand lines coming up in his head, none of them making sense. Most lines were said in his father’s voice, telling him to do something to minimize the damage to the situation, and that he was being reckless again. 

And then he realized he had stayed quiet for too long. Long enough for Genis to be smirking at him like that.

“Who told you?” was what Lloyd finally decided to say.

And then, Genis was smiling. His expression held a smugness to his features that confused Lloyd.

“Wow, you admitted that pretty fast. And here I thought you’d try to keep denying it!”

It took a moment for Lloyd to really process the word. “Wait, did you just trick me? That’s not fair!”

“Is it really tricking you though? Geez, you’re really bad at lying. But, I can see why Colette likes you too.”

If it was possible, Lloyd’s face got even redder—at least it felt like it did. Then…

Colette likes me?

But before he could even begin to ask Genis how he would know anything about that, footsteps echoed from the stairs above.

“Genis! Lloyd!” Colette had quickly run down, with the woman called Raine following behind. Lloyd thought Raine had seemed cold to him, but did something change recently? He thought her eyes looked softer. “Sorry, I got caught up telling the Professor…” She looked over at the pot. “Oh, you’re making lunch?”

“Yep!” Genis said with a bit of bravado only a twelve-year old could pull off. “Some of your favorite soup to celebrate you being back with us!”

“Oh, thank you, Genis! I missed your cooking so much.” Colette then looked at Lloyd, her hands clasped, still covering up the green patches on her skin. “Are you doing okay, Lloyd?”

Lloyd tried to answer, but the words from Genis, I can see why Colette likes you, kept echoing in his head. He eventually said, “Uh, yeah! Just excited to eat, too!”

This would be the first time he would have real food, not made in a machine, but by another’s hands.

“You’re lucky I made enough for everyone,” said Genis, but already he poured the soup he made from the pot into a wooden bowl, handling the ladle with expertise. Then, he handed the bowl to Lloyd. “Here.”

The contents were an orange-red color, thick when Lloyd stirred it with a spoon. He thought he could smell spices from it.

“What is it?”

Genis grinned. “Tomato soup. Go on, try it!”

And when he did so, he just proved Genis’ point in the end. He really was a terrible liar.

.

.

.

“I guess it’s called eloping. I mean, with what we’re doing.”

“Eloping…” Lloyd stretched out the word, trying to figure out its meaning and contours. He might have come across that word in a book, but the definition escaped him. “Is that bad?”

At that, Colette flushed, huddling into her cloak as they climbed their way up the stairs. She fiddled with something over her finger, turning it every which way. “I think I used to believe that… But it doesn’t feel that way now.” She faced him as they reached the top steps, smiling. “It just means we’re getting married without our parents knowing. But we can always tell them later!”

That made sense to Lloyd! “Yeah! We can just tell them how it went.”

“Mmhmm!” Colette nodded, then grabbed for his hand to rush for the double-doors. “Let’s go inside!”

In the swirling snows, Lloyd caught the silver gleam around her finger, but once inside the church, his attention was soon drawn elsewhere.

The interior was softly lit up by candlelight, which were placed in intervals by the walls of the church. A few people were inside, some of them sitting in the pews that lined up on both the left and right sections of the tiled floor. Up ahead, Lloyd saw a dais, near where those in cloth robes softly spoke with each other.

Sometimes, with the help of his Exsphere, Lloyd could pick up on whispers that were spoken from across the room. Kratos had taught him how, and he had kept that sense on, in case someone from Cruxis was nearby, spying on them.

But what he heard most of all was the name Martel.

It was a name that he heard Yggdrasill speak of. Yggdrasill and, sometimes, his father. And whenever they spoke of her to Lloyd, it always sounded like they talked about two different people. 

Lloyd let his eyes roam across the church, from the polished marble tiles to the stained glass windows. It did remind him of Vinheim, in some ways. Except, this place wasn’t in ruins, the walls crumbling and the windows shattered. It also wasn’t empty or devoid of any life. People moved around, albeit in hushed tones. Footsteps echoed around the interior, and even a stray cough could be heard clearly. It made one feel exposed to something grand and imposing. In that way, at least, it was like Vinheim.

Lloyd saw the workings of Cruxis woven into every fiber of its construction, from the sweeping pillars to the dazzling colors of those windows. In one of them, Lloyd saw a woman’s face that was inlaid in the glass. She had long locks of emerald hair and soft eyes, half-lidded in prayer. Her arms were stretched out wide, as if in welcoming. 

His first thought as he looked at her was, That’s Martel.

He felt a gentle tug on his sleeve, turning to Colette who waited by his side patiently.

“Oh, sorry, I was just looking around. This place is really big…”

But she smiled at him knowingly. Her eyes also glanced towards the stained glass window, seeing the woman depicted. Rays of the sun shone behind her head, and a flowing dress hugged her form as she stepped over green hills. Even in the dim evening, every detail could be seen.

Colette started to lift both her hands up to clasp, then stopped herself. She hesitated before letting her hands fall back to her sides. “I know Martel isn’t really a goddess. Not after everything we’ve seen… It’s just hard to break the habit sometimes.” She once again fiddled with the gleaming shine from her finger. “But, you know… I think that actually makes me feel relieved. It means, she never chose for any of this to happen.”

A few people shuffled past to enter the church, and both Lloyd and Colette hurriedly moved out of the way. Colette did a small trip against one of the tiles, and in reflex, Lloyd reached out, holding her by the waist. The suddenness of it made them both retreat even further into a darker corner of the church, hidden from the candlelight, and even the shine from the windows.

Lloyd looked down at Colette, her face so near, and the air so hushed from whatever reverence the people had for this church, for the deities that Cruxis had laid out for them all. But he didn’t really think about any of that, still so focused on her eyes.

It was strangely dark here, in this tiny corner of the Church, and one of the pillars was effectively hiding them away.

Colette placed both hands on his chest, fingers moving underneath the cloak that still hung around his shoulders. Suddenly, she was quiet. Suddenly, they were both quiet.

They had run and rushed through so much to finally escape, to come here—and now that they had, everything froze completely.

Lloyd hugged Colette so closely then, hands against her back, feeling her warmth. She embraced him back, and they were like that for a while, hiding in the dark of the church. He didn’t want to ever let her go.

He loved her. And he’d known that for a long time.

“Is it still okay to get married here?” Colette asked him softly. He felt her fingers against the back of his neck, along with something cool and solid. “Maybe it’s odd with Martel looking down at us…”

At that, Lloyd grinned, reaching to take one of her hands and hold it in his own. He saw clearly the ring on her finger, matching his. They had bought it from the jewelry shop, cheap ones that they could afford. But it was enough. “You know, I think she’d like this… That we’re doing this.”

Colette raised her eyes at him curiously. “Really? Why do you say that?”

Lloyd’s eyes grew soft, lost in memory. “Because whenever my dad mentioned her, he talked about her like she was a real person. Maybe she was like us, too.” He shrugged. “It probably doesn’t make a lot of sense now that I’m saying it out loud…”

But the small laughter he heard from Colette, as she also entwined their fingers and matched with their rings, let him know that maybe what he said hadn’t been so out of place after all. 

“I think so too,” she said, then added shyly, “Maybe she felt the same way about someone else.”

Lloyd didn’t know, only having half-told stories and proclamations that he had heard all his life. But he wanted to believe it, more than anything. 

.

.

.

Once, Colette had believed herself to be at peace with her death. 

After all, she had been prepared for it for much of her life. Her journey emphasized it with each step of the way; a loss of her senses, a loss of her voice, and a loss of her place within the world. No one else had wings such as hers, and no one else looked to the tower as she did, hoping and dreading, wanting and detesting. But the chain that tethered her to what would be her final resting place couldn’t be broken. Each seal she unlocked further took away her humanity. 

Except, she had just been lying to herself. At the final seal, as Remiel looked down at her with a deep-set frown, she realized she didn’t want to die after all.

And didn’t that make her such a worthless Chosen in the end?

“...lette? Colette?”

She blinked, and the shadows cleared from her eyes. The soft lamplight that hung from the ceiling made her feel suddenly so fatigued. Her limbs were heavy, and she thought she had been laying down for a week or more. But no, she was seated on a chair, numbness leaving her throat, and a fog lifting from her mind. Memories coalesced, shifted with the reality of the home she woke up in, of the boy who stood in front of her, hands linking with hers.

“...Lloyd,” she spoke, her voice a bit dry and cracked, as if she had been wandering the desert. She couldn’t help but cough a little, and immediately, a water cup was handed to her by another soul in the room. She looked to her right, seeing a woman with long green hair that rippled down her back in a neat braid.

“Please. Drink this,” spoke the woman, as halting as the strange angels she had seen up in a place she once thought to be heaven.

Lloyd immediately unlinked their hands, his cheeks flushed, but heaving a sigh of relief. “You’re back, Colette! I was really worried because at first it didn’t seem to work but, Altessa said it might take time… Ah, sorry! You don’t know him, he’s—”

“The dwarf that lives here?” Colette said, half-confused at her own words. She shook her head, finally gripping the water cup in both hands. “I think I remember. We were running from Cruxis because they had caught up to us and…”

And then sudden darkness. She fell into cold waters and couldn’t seem to get herself to reach the top. So stuck she had been, seeing muted pictures moving before her, hearing half-whispers that sounded like her name. Such memories slowly started to fall into place…

She had left Lloyd alone, with no idea of how he could save her.

Lloyd smiled sheepishly, and his breath was shaky from past worries. But when he smiled at her, it was so beautiful that she temporarily lost her breath. She then took a sip of the water, tasting its freshness, relieved she wasn’t back to her senseless state again.

“I’m really sorry to have caused so much trouble,” she told him, heaving out a sigh. But a quick glance at her hands told her something else, noticing the lack of crystal over her skin. It’s cured? she thought, and of course if she could now speak, and feel, and no longer was left in an endless dusk, Lloyd would find a way to cure her.

Alive, and with no mark of her failure on her anymore.

“I can get you more water,” spoke the green-haired woman, again in those halting tones, taking back the cup. Something about her seemed so awfully familiar to Colette, and it was beyond just what she might have experienced in her soulless state. Looking at the woman brought a sense of nostalgia to her, something she had known since she was little—but the woman left the room, and such thoughts were set to fade once more.

She tried immediately to stand up, and struggled to do so. Her legs were wobbly, her steps more unsteady than usual. Lloyd immediately went to her side, holding her up by her right arm.

“Hey, you should keep resting for now!” His touch was warm on her arm, and she was suddenly so very hungry to keep feeling it. She almost latched onto him in a fierce hug, stopping herself from doing so.

Instead, she said, “But, I think I want to see the stars. Would it be okay to go outside?”

Maybe it was selfish, and she could see the hesitation in Lloyd’s eyes, but a quick look towards the windows seemed to decide for him. “I guess it’s pretty calm out there. Are you sure you can walk?”

At the question, Colette couldn’t help herself. She was always adept at lying, after all.

“I think I could use some help after all,” she said with a smile, happy to feel his touch just a little bit longer. 

Altessa’s home was situated in an isolated place, the rocky cliffside so very steep, but facing a dense forest to the north. The sky outside was full of wondrous stars, inlaid with streams of violet stuck within the black. Colette looked out to it, relieved to see such a sight was still familiar, even in this other world.

It had been the same feeling when in Welgaia, seeing the stars just outside the tower, so high up it pierced the very clouds. 

She glanced a look at Lloyd, who also raised his head to the night sky. He still wore his clothes from back on Welgaia, a wine-red outfit that echoed Kratos’ when he had traveled with Colette on Sylvarant. In the dimness, she saw even more features of her once-bodyguard in Lloyd; in the spikes of his hair, in the sweep of his neck, and the soft russet eyes that reflected back those stars.

But there was something else, something that was decidedly Lloyd’s that gripped at Colette’s heart more than anything else. She had never felt this way with anyone before. She had never thought it to be possible, always keeping such feelings down before they could blossom past admiration or childhood crushes.

She was in love with Lloyd. She didn’t know when it started, but she knew this to be a fact, as sure as she once did in her fate as a Chosen.

Except this time, it filled her heart instead of leaving it hollow.

“Sheena said we could head to a place up north next,” Lloyd was saying, looking out over the horizon. “She said it’s called Flanoir, and that we could travel to it on an EC? I don’t really know what that is though…”

Colette blinked, feeling a little ashamed that she hadn’t been thinking about Sheena, or Genis and Raine, or the other new friends they had made like Presea, who had shown them the way to Altessa’s home, or even Zelos, another Chosen like her… Was he still in Meltokio, unable to move from his place because of the Pope keeping an eye on him?

“Will Sheena be coming with us?” she asked him, unsure what she was hoping to hear.

Lloyd shook his head, the moonlight bouncing off his hair, casting it almost silver. “No, she has to go back to Mizuho, in case anyone from Cruxis comes by… I wonder if they’re still tracking us.”

Colette read between the lines. “So we’d be by ourselves?”

Lloyd cleared his throat, but she thought she saw the red dusting his cheeks again. “Eheh, yeah. But don’t worry! I’ll be better at fighting them off this time, I swear! I won’t… I won’t let them do that to you again.”

Colette’s memory was still hazy, but what she could recall was the imprint of her hands around her chakrams, Remiel going near her, reaching out to her Cruxis Crystal before everything went dark, like a candlelight going out.

She saw the worry flit across Lloyd’s eyes, and wondered if he was reliving that memory, one that was much clearer to him, one that he must have repeated in his head while she was locked inside her body.

“But I’m okay now,” she reassured him, placing a hand over her heart. She felt her own heartbeat, wondering if that same heart had slowed when her soul was trapped in chrysalis. “And we can keep traveling together too!”

Somehow, that question set something conflicting in Lloyd’s face, one that made her want to reach out and touch, to calm. “Is that really what you want?”

She stopped hesitating, and reached out her hands to his face.

As she did so, she felt her wings span out from her back. Maybe it was to test if she still held her angelic powers, or maybe it was the sensation of Lloyd’s skin against her hands, setting her heart racing. She saw the color of her wings reflected in his eyes, how he stared at her, seeing only her as the crickets chirped in the nearby grass, as the nightbirds sang in the distance.

She saw his own wings move past his shoulder blades; grand ones that were a brilliant blue, like a mid-afternoon sky. She felt such wings could wrap around her and keep her safe, but could she do the same for him? Could she keep him safe from all that had happened, and continued to happen as they tried to find a way to change the broken scales these worlds were balanced on?

“Of course I do,” she told him, drawn in by his eyes, feeling more brave than she ever had in all her life. “Lloyd, I’m so happy to know you. And I want to keep staying by your side.”

Like the Goddess, she felt she had been asleep for so very long, until Lloyd came into her life.

She had never kissed another person like this, lips pressed against another’s. But underneath the stars, she felt she could do anything now. And when she felt the soft, gentle pressure against her own mouth, Lloyd’s body closer to her now, it didn’t feel like a mistake.

She was so happy to be here and alive with him.

.

.

.

In the Flanoir cathedral, Lloyd and Colette got married underneath the stained glass window that depicted the goddess Martel. With witnesses that generously spared their time, and a priest who felt such sympathy for them, they were wed in the later evening hours, just as the bell rang for a final mass.

But the goddess Martel was no goddess, and Colette recognized the depicted woman’s face as that of Tabatha’s. She wondered at that connection, at those green eyes that showed her such kindness. But if such eyes did, then surely whoever Martel was would also feel the same.

“And I love you!” he said to her, so simple and so excited. It made her giggle, already leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, and then his lips, and then Lloyd copied her by kissing her forehead, then at her chin, before the tired priest had to tell them that they still needed to say their ‘I do’s.’

She hardly remembered the actual ceremony, dazzled instead by Lloyd’s eyes, by his smile, by the way he held their hands together, as if he never wanted to let her go.

But she had already known, for perhaps even longer than she realized, that she wanted to be with Lloyd, to have him by her side, and to declare that in some way. 

She remembered the weddings held in Iselia would bring in days of celebration and dancing. But somehow, underneath the soft light through the windows as the snow fell outside, Colette was happy with this—perhaps even more so.

Would it be selfish of her to keep Lloyd to herself just a little longer?

It’s what she thought when she was already rushing Lloyd with her down the aisle, leaving through the doors so quickly just to be out in the snow again, the difference in temperature so sudden that she immediately shivered.

“And I love you too,” she said to him, her voice shaking from the cold, or maybe something else. She had already said the words to him inside the church, but she now needed to say it again, just as the stars shone a bit brighter.

Let me keep loving you for as long as I can. Because the future was still uncertain, and they were still adrift, trying to change what seemed impossible.

But she had once thought it impossible for her to keep living past sixteen.

Lloyd wrapped her in his arms, leaning down to kiss her again—on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her lips, over her closed eyes—and whispered, “I’ll always stay by your side.”

And she knew for a fact that Lloyd always kept his promises. 

[fanaticsnail]

hellohello snail! hope you’re doin well :) just had some random thoughts to share, one is more “serious” while the other is borderline crackfic material so we’ll see.

Not sure if you’re a Star Wars fan, but I’ve been keeping up with their new series The Acolyte and it reminded me of your Apprentice series with Mihawk 🤭 Just, the hatred and loathing but begrudgingly acknowledging each other’s skill, I absolutely LOVE IT. There are so many different dynamics that could work with Mihawk, always fun to think about him 🫶 I was also a big fan of this one anime called Welcome To The Ballroom which focused on competitive ballroom dancing, and I could absolutely see Mihawk being a perfect (but intimidating) dance partner. El Tango De Roxanne, La Distancia, and La Espada are all songs I can see him dancing to. (I also think he could walk in heels better than me, that man would KILL in a stiletto).

On the other hand I’ve been getting so much convention-content on my FYP, makes me think of ModernAU!Law where you’re coworkers/ his assistant, and you’re also both nerds so what happens? You meet each other at a Con, while in cosplay, and neither have a clue that it’s the other person. Just, Fanboy Law having an S/O match his freak when it comes to comics or mutual interests. But imagine the CHAOS, both are super excited to hang out with their new cosplay friend and somehow figure it out through clues (seeing a picture, keychain from artist’s alley, etc) that this is literally the coworker you’ve been pining over for several months. Love me a nerd 😋

i also am a sucker for all this doffy content, despite the fact that i haven’t gotten to see him in the anime yet LOL. regardless of whether i’ve seen a character or not i’ll always want to read your writing 🫶🫶

give griswold a kiss for me!!

-🪶 anon

The amount of times I've written Mihawk dancing is just crazy (3 times, and one is in a series). He needs more dancing. Every time I feel like he shouldn't have another dance, you have my permission to slap me. I have not seen the Acolyte, my Disney+ subscription jumped up $45 per year and I did the classic Aussie "yeah, nah" to that price raise.

I NEED TO KNOW YOUR CONVENTION CONTENT! It has been YEARS since I've done a convention. Last time I did one, I cosplayed with my husband Cyclops and Madeline Pryor while heavily pregnant with baby Cable (I don't know if you know Marvel, but it was a fun cosplay). Nerd!Law is my favourite thing.

I love you 🪶. More bird Mihawk for you. I'll have him dance in there too 🥹. I'm so glad you enjoy reading my silly things. I have been aboard the Doffy train for a little while lately. He's awful. I love him.

I'll tell chef-husband to give Griz some kisses from me and you. I'm interstate and missing them both terribly (I've only just landed in the plane).

[darklydeliciousdesires]

The Dark Passenger - Chapter Twenty Two & Epilogue.

So, besties. I did originally have another chapter after this, but after sitting on it for a couple of weeks after finishing and then re-reading it a few times, I decreed that it was mostly me rambling on and I didn’t like it, so I cut it to a final chapter and epilogue, a result I was much happier with. I can only hope you agree! Thank you so much for your engagement with this story, I’ve been so thrilled with the love it had received along the way. You’ve been a wonderful audience :)

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty  Twenty One

Words - 4,770

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” EZ apologised, turning to stroke Camille’s arm through the darkness. She reached for the bedside lamp, switching it on.  

“It’s alright, I wasn’t really fully asleep anyway. I didn’t expect you to be, for obvious reasons.” It was 4am, and they had to be at the hospital by eight, EZ parched and hungry, of course on strict nil by mouth orders, since his surgery was scheduled for 9:30am. “Silly question, but how are you feeling?”

He shuffled closer to her, Camille turning onto her back, EZ resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. “Scared to fucking death, if I’m honest. I trust Doctor Shepherd, I really do because she’s such a surgical genius, going by her track record, but still. I’m frightened, that this might be my last morning lying in bed with you.”  

Her emotions wanted to succumb to the heavy stirring his words prompted, but she swallowed down the lump in her throat. She had to be strong for both of them. “It won’t be the last, baby. God can’t take you from me yet. It isn’t your time, I know it. You haven’t been put through all of this not to make it over the final hurdle.”

“You always say all the right things,” he mumbled, turning to kiss the side of her neck, wrapping himself around her, the warmth of her skin comforting. “I hope I live to hear you tell me many more.”  

She stroked his head, her nails raking softly over the little bits of new hair growth. “You will, my darling. You will.” She curled around him, holding him tightly, giving him all of the comfort he sought, glad when she heard him begin to snore softly, dozing in her arms for a couple of hours.  

He awoke at 6:30am, this time deciding to get up, shutting himself into the bathroom and shedding tears he didn’t want her to see while he took a shower, trying to hold onto a little optimism beneath the fear that was gripping him, the trepidation he felt at knowing he was about to be put under anaesthetic for a minimum of twelve hours while someone cut into his brain.  

After pulling himself together, he thought upon the reasoning that had calmed him, knowing that Doctor Shepherd did this daily, that it was her field of expertise, marvelling to himself that something that was so huge for him was just another day for her. He was in awe at that kind of poise and control, thinking that it could have been him with someone else’s life in his hands, had his life gone to how he once planned it and he’d become a cardiovascular surgeon.  

By the time he’d cleaned his teeth and dressed, he was feeling a little more positive, but the grip he held Camille’s hand with as they left the hotel room at just gone 7am was tight, nonetheless.  

“Good morning, Mr Reyes, Miss Smith,” Doctor Shepherd greeted them with at just coming up to 9am, smiling brightly as she entered his room. “Okay, so all of your pre-op stats look good, do you have any questions before we take you down?”  

“I don’t think so, no,” he spoke, Amelia seeing it clearly in him, the nerves.  

“Alright, that’s fine. Try to relax, remember, you’re in the best hands. I’ll see you down there.” She nodded curtly and left, going to prepare herself and take a last look at her notes prior to beginning what was to be a long and difficult surgery, but one she was extremely confident over. When it was time for him to go, he held Camille one last time, exchanging kisses with her. How she managed to hold herself together, she didn’t know, her voice shaking a little with emotion.

“I’ll see you later tonight, or tomorrow morning, depending. I’m not leaving the hospital at all. I’ll be right here when you wake up, I promise,” she vouched, her lips meeting his again. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too, baby. Remember that, alright. You’re the entire world to me.” One last kiss and he was wheeled out of the room, Camille waiting until the bed had vanished from view around the corner before she allowed herself the tears she’d held onto so tightly to fall, having a little cry as she made her way to the waiting room.  

“Good morning, everyone. Alright, we have Ezekiel Reyes here, thirty-five years old, with a grade five glioblastoma upon the frontal lobe as you can see, with a push of two millimetres into the temporal. The previous prognosis was inoperable, but we all know I love a challenge on a Thursday morning, and we have just that right here. Right, shall we begin? Start the clock. Ten blade, please.” With that, the first incision was made, the viewing gallery full of the residents who wished they could have been chosen to be in the OR with Doctor Shepherd, all curious to watch the huge surgery unfold.  

“This margin is so much better than I expected, I can get a beautiful, clean cut along this side. Suction, please,” Amelia began after assessing the area, slicing carefully along the outer wall of the tumour, stopping after a couple of millimetres progress, observing the MRI beamed images, checking her patient’s stats as she and Doctor Anders, her attending, shared thoughts. “Continuing laterally over the parameter onto the posterior ramus, I shan’t divert here until I need to. Look at this, god, he’s lucky. Death can go screw himself. He’s not coming for this man, not today.”

Doctor Anders agreed, his eyes flitting up to the clock. Five hours, thirty-two minutes. At eight hours, the progression had led to the base of the tumour, Ameila stepping back, asking for a few moments while she considered her options in how to proceed. She studied the scans, muttering to herself, taking a breath as she rocked on her heels, her feet tingling a little. “Twelve blade, please. Proceeding bi-laterally against the inferior temporal sulci. Margins are less clear here.”  

Less clear was an understatement, Amelia needing a further four hours just to cut around that small area, leading up to the superior temporal sulci by the time the clock ticked over into twelve hours, and only half of the tumour cut away. “You shall not get the better of me, beast. No, you shall not.” She spoke confidently, Doctor Anders having left a short time ago, her reliable soundboard that was Richard Webber at her side.  

“Take a pause if you’re unsure, Shepherd,” he advised, watching her blink tightly a few times, knowing she was beginning to stress herself. “Leaving a tiny amount around the hippocampus isn’t a failure if you aren’t sure. Radiotherapy can see to the rest.”

She took a deep breath, nodding. “I know, I know.” Her eyes crinkled in smile as she looked to her side. “You know I don’t enjoy being beaten, though.”

Richard made a small ‘hmph’ that had her chuckling softly. “Tell me something I don’t know. You and your brother, exactly the same.” She thought of her late sibling then and all his surgical brilliance in the same field, closing her eyes for a second, wishing she had a direct line to the other side. “What would Derek do?” The question she thought resounded through her head, looking to the MRI again, her brain ticking along with the minutes.  

By thirteen hours and twenty-four minutes, she knew how to proceed.

By fourteen hours, she had made her progress around the hippocampus.

By fifteen hours, she was working onto where the tumour pressed against the temporal lobe.

By nineteen hours and beyond exhausted, she ready to close.

For the entire time, Camille had sat an anxious wreck in the waiting area of Grey-Sloane, napping for a few minutes here and there. At just past four thirty in the morning, she looked up to see a welcome sight in the appearance of a tired looking Doctor Shepherd.  

“Well, that was the most complex surgery I have had task me for a number of years, but I’m pleased to say that all went well. I managed to get it all out, every last bit,” she revealed, Camille gasping, getting up to throw her arms around the brilliant surgeon who stood before her, the doctor giving her a fleeting hug before pulling away. “Now comes the part of waiting to see if anything has been affected where his speech and motor skills are concerned. This can be very tricky to tell, even though nothing happened surgically that would point a definitive finger to such, it’s all so complicated that we do have to wait until he comes around. You should go and sleep, and we will call you when he awakes. It could be hours yet.”  

Camille was resolute, though. She would not leave that hospital until he did wake. “I think I’m going to stay here, I can’t leave until I’ve seen him. I also cannot thank you enough for what you did for him. Thank you so, so much, Doctor Shepherd. You’re incredible.”

She nodded at the praise, smiling. “I do what I can, and I am pleased I could do this for him, for you both. Try and get some rest, I’m going to do just the same. I’ll remain right here so I’m close by in his immediate post-surgery hours. One of the nurses will come and fetch you once he’s regained consciousness.” Camille thanked her again, taking a seat, kicking off her shoes in the mostly deserted waiting area and curling up on the seats. The relief of knowing that her love had made it through the surgery was so great, she was asleep within minutes.  

Five hours later and a nurse shook her awake, smiling kindly. “Miss Smith? Mr Reyes awoke briefly, but it was fleeting. If you’d like to come through, you can sit with him now. It might be a long wait until he wakes again, but the fact that he did open his eyes only for a moment is a very positive sign.” She took a moment to quickly go outside and let his family and hers know that he’d come through the surgery, telling them she’d call when she had more news before being taken up to his room in recovery.  

It was frightening, to see him covered in wires, his head back to completely clean shaven, not that she could see much around the myriad of dressings and bandages, his chest slowly rising and falling as the machine he was attached to breathed for him. She leaned down and gently kissed his cheek, tears running down her face. “Told you so,” she whispered, grasping his hand softly, taking a seat at his side. “Told you god wouldn’t take you from me just yet.”  

She sat and talked to him, getting up to stretch, napping a little more, only leaving to go and fetch herself coffee on a couple of occasions and stretch her legs, reading one of the two books she’d brought along with her. It was coming up to 6pm when she practically threw the book on the floor, feeling his arm twitch against hers and looking up to see his eyes open, immediately buzzing for the nurse.  

She was asked to leave while she and one of the surgeons who had been in the OR with him, Doctor Webber, checked him over, Doctor Shepherd joining them after a few minutes. Camille couldn’t see much through the partially closed blinds, but when one of the nurses stepped out, she could make out that his breathing tube had been removed, which was a good sign, she thought, for him to be breathing on his own thirteen and a half hours post op.  

“Okay, Miss Smith, we can have you back in now. We’ve given him a first assessment, and he is completely cognitive, I am thrilled to reveal. Except... it’s all in Spanish. Now, this is not unheard of, I myself began replying in French after my own tumour removal, but in the hours to follow I did revert back to English. He understands everything we’re asking of him, but Doctor Webber and I have only a basic grasp on the language. I don’t suppose you could help us out there?” she asked, Camille smiling.

“I can, actually. I learned Spanish at school. I’m not completely fluent, but I know enough to get me by.” She stood up, walking back in, receiving a very tired smile from EZ, grasping his hand in both of hers as she leaned to kiss him.  

“Well, I take it from that, you know exactly who this young lady is?” Doctor Webber asked, EZ nodding minimally.  

“Si, mi novia, Camille,” he spoke, before focusing on her. “Cómo estás, querida?”

“I’m fine, baby. I’m just fine. A little thrown, hearing you talking to me in Spanish, but Doctor Shepherd tells me that this can happen after surgery.”  

Immediately, EZ looked confused, beginning to speak again, Camille nodding as she took it in. “He says he isn’t consciously doing it. He’s thinking in English, but when he comes to speak, it’s all coming out in Spanish.” She paused while he spoke again, laughing at his words. “He says his mom would be proud, and his brother would be pissed off because he was always the one more fluent than he.”  

The doctors both laughed softly. “Well, everything else is perfectly normal on first assessment, and we will take you down for an MRI shortly, once you’ve had something to eat as you’re likely starving by now,” Doctor Webber explained, he and Doctor Shepherd leaving them to talk, EZ revealing he was so hungry, he could happily eat a shoe as long as it had mustard on it. 

After he was brought fruit and a sandwich, both of which he ate like he’d never seen food before, he was taken down for a scan, brought back up asleep, since he’d apparently conked out while in the machine, the porter telling Camille it had taken four people to lift him again and still, he hadn’t woken.  

It was no surprise to her, knowing exactly how heavy her boyfriend was, or that he’d fallen asleep again. He must’ve been so tired, and in pain too. She was just glad that everything appeared to be normal. His balance and motor skills would furtherly be assessed in the following days, but the fact he could grasp things and feed himself were progressive signs that all was well.  

“Te ves cansanda, mi amor,” he told her, stroking her face with his thumb.  

“I am, honey. I’m very tired. They said I can stay here for a few more hours, though,” she revealed, stifling a yawn.

“Well, I think I’ll be going back to sleep soon, so you should go back to the hotel.” They both then looked at one another with wide eyes. “That was in English, wasn’t it? I didn’t just think that and not speak it, did I?”  

She beamed at him. “No, it was in English. Either that or I’m suddenly telepathic.” He laughed, wincing a little. “God, the fucking headache I have right now. I mean, it’s preferable to the tumour, so I’m not gonna complain much, but yeah. Ouch.”  

“I think I’ll leave you to rest, then, as much as I really don’t want to, and come back in the morning.” He agreed that it was a good idea, kissing her goodbye, telling her over and over how much he loved her, clicking the morphine drip he was attached to as soon as she’d left, feeling woozy in the following seconds. Before the dose sent him to sleep, though, he smiled into the dim light of his room, two words resounding through his very sore head.

“It’s gone.”

A happy tear trickled down his cheek as he dozed off.  

Epilogue

“So, how big is your scar, then?” Angel asked, sitting on his hotel room bed, Bella next to him as they chatted via FaceTime with EZ, the latter laughing at his sister-in-law.  

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh, B, but your face!”  

She frowned, his laughter bursting forth. “I look ridiculous!” Falling asleep in sunglasses had left her with the white marks on her face from such, Angel turning to her and snorting before cracking up, He received a slapped arm for it, Bella mildly fuming.

“As for how big the scar is, I have no idea. They changed the dressing but it’s still a little tender, so it has to remain covered for now,” EZ then went on to explain. “I did manage to walk today, though. They didn’t want to get me up on my feet for forty-eight hours while I rested, so yeah, I managed that okay. Nearly flattened Camille when I wobbled, but other than that, I’m all good.”

“That’s good to hear, bro. Not that you nearly took Camille out, but that you’re making progress. We were nervous as hell, all the way through those nineteen hours, man. I’m so relieved you’ve made it out the other side and shit, and you can put all this behind you. You tell that surgeon from me that she’s a goddamned genius!” EZ vouched that he would before letting them go, the door opening to reveal Camille with a familiar paper bag in her hand.  

“Here you go, don’t demolish it all at once,” she told him, handing him the takeout bag from a burger place they’d visited the day before his surgery. The hospital food wasn’t bad at all, but all EZ had been able to think about for the last day was the triple bacon cheeseburger he’d loved so much, Camille telling him she’d fetch one for him on her way in.

“I cannot promise you that at all. Here, I take it one of these is for you?” he replied, taking out one of the two cartons of fries.”

She took it with thanks, placing the drinks down on the cabinet to the side of his bed. “Yes, they are. I did have a chicken burger, but that was gone before I even jumped into the Uber, I was so hungry! Oh, I spoke to mom and dad this morning, they send their love.”

“Tell ‘em the same back, or actually I’ll FaceTime with them later, once they’re back from work. Hang on... what day is it?” He was a little cloudy on that at times, but it was to be expected after all he’d gone through.  

“Monday, so yes, they’ll be home from about six tonight,” she confirmed, covering her mouth with her hand as she chewed through her fries. “How are you feeling? Did they get you up again today yet?”

“Only to go to the bathroom, which I managed okay. Doctor Shepherd said that she feels confident enough that I should be able to leave tomorrow, should everything still be progressing like it is.” It was, EZ being discharged just after 10am, surprised at how swiftly it was all moving. He’d expected that he’d need weeks in hospital prior to his first talk with Doctor Shepherd, not understanding how if all his vitals were fine and his brain showing good progress after the surgery, he only needed to keep resting.  

He did so in the beautiful surroundings of their hotel room, going straight back to bed again, tired, as he was told to expect for the first few weeks post-surgery. Naturally, he had headaches as well, but nothing that couldn’t be controlled with his painkillers. One headache he’d been anticipating the cease of, an external one, came to an end three days after he’d arrived back at the hotel, receiving a call from an unknown number on his pre-pay.  

“Ezekiel.” He’d recognise the strong Irish lilt anywhere, despite only having met the woman once. “I just thought I’d call to let you know that the dominoes have toppled, and I will drive to meet with your VP later this week in order to discuss our arrangement in more detail, since I know you’re still incapacitated at the moment. I'm eager to get this moving.” She paused, lighting a cigarette. “How’d it go, by the way?”

He was surprised she cared, but he could detect a genuine interest in her tones. He’d decided it would be in the best interest of the club, and future harmony with the Sons to reveal his health issues, should he have died on the table, so warned Chibs during their meeting there could be a chance that going forward, it might be Bishop he’d be dealing with, should the worst have happened. “Thanks for the update. As for the surgery, it went well. Nineteen hours saw the entire thing removed.”

Abi’s eyebrows rose significantly. “Jesus in tap shoes, that was a battle, eh? Well, heal well, and I’ll see you at some point in the future, so.” The line clicked dead before he could reply, EZ smiling to himself, his affairs all now in perfect order. With the figureheads of the LNG all taken out in a systematic strike, leaving the foot soldiers in the wind without leadership, the tie was severed. The Mayans were free of it, and for that moment, he was free to focus on someone much, much lovelier.

“How was your bath?” he asked, closing the door after accepting the room service cart that had brought up their dinner.  

Immediately, Camille flapped her hands in the direction of the bed. “Get back in there!”

“Damn, I wish you were ordering me back here under the promise of climbing on me.” His confession made her laugh as she dressed in her shorts and vest sleep set, grabbing their plates and taking them to the bed.  

“No heavy exerting yourself, doctor’s orders, and you will follow them!”  

“Yes, Marge,” he couldn’t help but tease, receiving a soft slap to the chest before she passed over his steak and fries, her mouth-watering at the smell of her plate of spaghetti carbonara. “All jokes aside, I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Thank you, baby, for taking such good care of me.”  

She reached for him, stroking his shoulder. “It’s what I’m here for.”  

Truly, Camille was his godsend, his shining light, the one person who had refused to let him slide into the jaws of fate. She’d never given up on him, and she never would. In turn, he showed her every day going forward, just how thankful he was for such devotion.

Fifteen months later...

“Camille,” Molly, one of her beauticians called from the counter, Camille at the back of her beauty shop preparing everyone a cold drink. “There’s a gigantic bunch of white roses coming this way.”

She walked forward, grinning happily as she took the delivery from the girl struggling with them, thanking her while taking the card.

‘Happy anniversary, mi amor. Thank you for being so wonderful, for making me proud you’re mine each and every day, and for loving me just as much as I love you. EZ xx’

What a stark contrast it was, from two years before when he’d sent her white roses, all in the interests of keeping her hooked on him, regardless of how he treated her. Now, he sent them to show his love, but his actions and his words always outshone such gestures. He’d promised her he’d show himself to be worthy of her devotion to him, and it was a promise he’d kept.  

Shortly after their first Christmas together, Camille had left her job at The Lunar Lounge, finding the perfect property to open her salon in, the business thriving, her customers always leaving with the kind of cheer the proprietor greeted every single one of them who came walking through her door with. She still had her little house, and EZ his apartment over the clubhouse, both enjoying that although very much together, they could have their separate spaces still, a few nights a week spent at hers, a few at his, and a couple free to do as they pleased.

That night, they would be at neither property, though.  

“Are you ready?” EZ asked at 6pm, arriving promptly at Camille’s to collect her.  

She locked her front door behind her, turning to take the helmet he proffered forth. “Sure am, but I wish you’d tell me where we’re going!”  

“You’ll see.” Oh, how she hated when he kept things from her. Just over fifty minutes later, though, and with the sun beginning to sink into the horizon, they pulled up at the coast.  

“You always tell me I never take you to the beach enough, so here we are,” he spoke, stowing their helmets away, Camille scanning her surroundings.  

“This isn’t far from Bella’s mom’s place, is it?” she spoke, recognising the area, although they’d turned off prior to taking the route that led to Deb’s home.

“Yeah, it’s about a twenty-minute walk that way.” he confirmed, pointing over at the row of beach houses, which all looked like dots in the distance, both descending the small verge that led down to the sand, taking off their shoes, EZ then taking her hand in his.  

They walked for just over twenty minutes along the shore, enjoying the sunset, talking about their respective days, EZ suddenly looking worried.  

“Shit,” he began, patting his pockets down. “Oh, fuck. I think I dropped my keys.”

Camille’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I swear, I thought I saw you put them in your hoodie pocket. Are they not there?”  

“Nope, but I heard them jingling not long ago, so they must be further on up the beach.” Back they began to walk, EZ trailing back deliberately. “Babe?”

She stopped, turning around, her hands flying to her mouth to see him there, down on one knee, a ring box flipped open.

“Camille Teresa Smith, you mean more to me than words can ever express. You’re the love and light of my life, and I’m thankful for you with every breath I breathe. Will you marry me?”  

Her eyes filled with tears in an instant. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” she cried. “Yes!”

It was the greatest answer to a question he’d ever received, pulling the cushion cut diamond ring from the box and sliding onto her finger, her hand trembling, pocketing the box again before he stood with her in his arms, hugging her tightly. He let her down, sharing kisses, Camille’s ears pricking up to a sudden noise coming from the houses.  

“What the...” she exclaimed, looking up the beach to see all their friends and family come running from Deb’s property, Camille screaming with laughter.

“Yeah, about that,” EZ began, turning to see Marge and John leading the pack. “Kinda thought you might want to celebrate with everyone you love most.”  

She couldn’t help but tease him. “And what if I’d said no?”  

“Then they’d have got me plenty drunk to help ease the pain, I guess.” They looked at each other and laughed, Marge launching herself towards her daughter, hugging her tightly as she offered her congratulations, John pulling him into a warm hug.  

“Son, I’m thrilled for you,” he spoke warmly, hand rubbing his head with affection. “You too, Camie.”

“Oh my god, we’re going to be sisters-in law!” Bella cried, bouncing up into Camille’s arms as she laughed with happiness, placing her down, moving to hug Felipe.  

“Thank you,” he spoke, stepping to the side with her, touching a tender hand to her cheek. “Thank you for loving him as much as you do. I know I might’ve been a cranky, old pain in your ass when we first met, but I see it. Your love got him through the hardest time in his life, and for that, I will never stop being thankful to you, Camille.”

She was touched beyond words, hugging her future father-in-law again, kissing his cheek before one by one, she was congratulated by everyone present, all of them heading back up to the house.  

“Shall we?” EZ spoke, jerking his head in the direction.  

“Yes, lets.”  

And so there they went, heading off into their life together, the dark passenger of their past long gone from the ride they’d begun together, heading off along that long road. It had been rocky to begin with, but now, the road ahead was smooth, and the only passenger upon their journey with them was happiness.  

The End.  

[nekoannie-chan]

Secrets Chapter 22: She is not for you

Pairing: Steve Rogers X OFC, Brock Rumlow X OFC.

Word count: 1597 words.

Summary: Sometimes keeping secrets can be dangerous or a heavy burden, which is what Kathleen has been doing for years. She will also be in charge of guiding Steve Rogers into this century; meanwhile, S.H.I.E.L.D. will be looking for a way to kick-start the Avengers Initiative by integrating her as one of the superheroes, but that won't be the only danger they face.

Warnings: Jealousy.

A/N: After long time working on this longfic, I finally post it. If you wanna be added to the taglist, let me know.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

Secrets masterlist.

Previous chapter.

Next chapter.

Kathleen was walking down the corridor, she had had that horrible dream again, although more than a dream, it was a memory, one of the worst she had, although sometimes she saw the spirit of her best friend... It was simply awful what had happened to her, she didn't even notice that someone was walking behind her.

“Anzai," a woman called out to Kath. Kathleen Anzai! “she grabbed Kath’s shoulder, who turned around when she felt the movement. But if you're in love little Kath, you're in love with Steve, aren't you? “Nat questioned when he saw Kath’s expression.

“ W-what? No... I'm not in love or anything," stammered Kathleen, with a quick movement the spy took her personal phone from Kath.

“Then how do you explain this? “Natasha unlocked the phone to show the photo Kath had as wallpaper. I bet you have hundreds of pictures of him..." she mocked while the other tried to take the phone from her until Natasha realized that the picture was not of Steve, but of Kath, probably in her teens with a group of guys she didn't know or at least didn't work at S.H.I.E.L.D.

“It's none of your business, Romanoff," Kath felt her cheeks burning, she was probably completely red, she didn't want anyone to know what had happened to her friends, to any of them. At least I don't look for silly excuses to go to the Stark Tower to see a certain doctor “she smiled when she saw that she had hit the right spot, so she managed to get her phone back.

“ How do you know that? “Natasha had been careful about it, the only one who knew was Clint.

“Your mind screams "Bruce Banner" as if it were a bright billboard in the middle of the night," Kath replied, however, that was true, whenever Nat was around that thought popped up. What's wrong, why are you making that face? “It was notorious for the sad face of the spy, maybe she missed her hand, although the other one was the one who started to bother.

“I don't think he corresponds to me, he's too busy with his investigations and he's afraid of hurting someone with the other guy “confessed Romanoff with a sad voice leaving the mutant surprised, it was known that Natasha never opened her heart to any other person that wasn't her best friend.

“I think you have a chance, just find a way to control the other guy and with that, you will have earned it “he advised”, on the other hand, I... “Kath kept quiet, she couldn't say more, they were not friends, nor did she have the confidence to tell her absolutely everything that happened.

“Agent Anzai, the Director wants to see you," said Maria, appearing behind Kath.

Kath entered Fury's office, nervous, as she had a bad feeling seeing the director upset.

“ Where were you the other day? “And tell me the truth, you know you can't hide anything from me.

“I went to see someone who might be of use to us," he answered dryly.

“ Who did you go to see? “he asked.

“Doctor Pym; wanted to see me, I know what you are thinking and no, obviously he is not going to give us his particle, but he is looking for someone to take his place to wear a suit and you know that we will probably need in the future," she anticipated before any other question so Fury did not continue asking, she was right, maybe in the future they would need him, if she could talk and convince with all those who had some ability there was the possibility of avoiding future tragedies.

“Speaking of the future, I already got the council to approve Project Insight, so now you will have more work to do," he said as he handed her the files for her to review.

Taking advantage of the fact that Steve was in an interview with the rest of the team; an interview to which she obviously had not been invited, she would catch up with the review of the files until someone knocked on the door of Kath’s office, she put the documents away before opening the door, she knew that this project had a certain degree of confidentiality and she also knew who was not included. When she opened the door she met Rumlow.

“Kitty, you owe me a date, remember? “Brock said entering the office.

“I know, I know, but Fury really left me a lot of work and I haven't finished, you know his crazy ideas," he lifted his shoulders while making a tender face in apology.

“I can help you with some of your work, while you buy me a drink and I'll consider the debt paid," proposed the commander.

“It was a deal," agreed Kath as she poured him a cup of tea.

They began to arrange the documents in the files to have everything in order while they chatted trivially, everything was in disorder, and many missions were mixed up with others.

“ Aren't they in the archives department supposed to do this? “Kath asked.

“Supposedly," the other replied, his gaze lingering on the picture of Kath and him and them under a cherry tree that had been taken shortly after she had joined the organization and then flicking to one of Kath and Steve at Disneyland. And that miracle your friend isn't here bothering you? “He tried to sound casual rather than jealous.

“Interview with the others for I don't know what magazine, you know the news and you two have to get along or else Fury will force you to go on a mission all alone or something crazy," he replied lightly.

“You don't want that," Brock suddenly blurted out without taking his eyes off the pictures.

“ What? “He wasn't paying attention to what his friend was doing.

“Rogers," he said coldly, she looked at him without understanding, "You like it," her voice was very annoyed.

“ And what's the problem with that? Anyway, I'm not reciprocated, it doesn't matter who I have feelings for or not, I just don't have time for it," she didn't want to have that conversation.

“He's going to hurt you and he's too old for you," Brock warned her. Kitty, I don't want anyone to hurt you," he turned to look at her.

“Brockie, I really don't want to talk about it," her voice sounded sad, "You know people still hate mutants, even though it's been a long time since...that massacre," her voice cracked.

“You look exhausted, you haven't slept well, have you? “Brock asked with concern.

“More or less “Kath answered, if she felt tired, the nightmares were recurring again and the guilt was still there, deep down she thought that maybe she could have saved her friends.

“ Are you having nightmares again? “He stroked her hair and she nodded.

Brock hugged her and they stayed like that for a while, if he could erase all those bad memories she had, if there was any way to make her notice him...he would make her very happy, they could run away, start a new life far away from all that.

“ What about you, are you seeing anyone? “asked Kath suddenly, he shook his head, "You really haven't dated anyone since Suni*? “she looked at him.

“Just a few dates, nothing important, I have to take care of you," Brock clarified, he didn't dare to confess his feelings to her either, although after what had happened in a certain mission he thought that everything would be different... until Rogers appeared.

“Again with that," Kath rolled her eyes, "I'm a big boy and you can't stay alone forever, at least buy yourself another dog or a cat or something, stop being so bitter Brockie," joked Kath.

“You're the one who should change your code name," she replied mockingly.

“ Why, what's wrong with mine? “She didn't know that the STRIKE team had given her some nicknames.

“Agh...no nothing forget it “mentally it hit her, she didn't know anything.

“Now you tell me, I'm giving you the chance or I'm going to get mad at you “she threatened him.

“The guys don't think you can fall in love and they refer to you in different ways because of how mmmmm cold you can be “Rumlow explained, he didn't want to tell her too many details so he wouldn't hurt her.

“Ugh it was probably your little friend Rollins, wasn't it? That's why I dislike him so much, anyway they don't care what he does or doesn't do," she said.

Steve appeared in the Triskelion's gym, he was looking for Brock, they had to finish planning the strategy for the next mission, and the only one he found was Jack.

“Rollins, have you seen Rumlow? “he asked urgently.

“Oh yes, he's in Anzai's office, just the two of them," the agent pointed out mischievously.

He immediately ran to Kath’s office, thousands of thoughts of all kinds went through his mind, he could not trust her to be alone with the Commander, when he arrived at the place, he opened the door with a bang.

“ Steve? “she exclaimed astonished to see him there, "Didn't you have an interview?

“It ended early, what are you two doing? “she hissed.

“Brock was helping me arrange some documents and I hope you didn't damage my door or else I'll have to file a complaint," the mutant pointed out a bit annoyed, Steve sighed in relief.

Ꭲꭺꮐꮮꮖꮪꭲ:

@saiyanprincessswanie  @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

@navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke  @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940  @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme  @bluemusickid @leyannrae  @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes  @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1  @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @mylifeispainandiloveit​  @writingshae​  @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga​ @daemonslittlebitch  @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​  @jtargaryen18​ @chaoticcollectivenightmare​ @endlesstwanted​  @chemtrails-club​  @marigoldreamer​  @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​ @here4thefanfics​ @theestorm​ @patzammit​

[cowgurrrl]

since OFTM asks are being answered atm, I thought I'd come through with a few questions of my own about this WONDERFUL and LOVELY series because it's that good!

1. ik we're wayyyyyy past it but do rockstar!joel and actress!reader do anything for Valentine's day? have they done things early on the relationship, do they still celebrate now or maybe it's something simple like posting cute photos of each other on their stories??

2. okay this one is a fun one and I know there was an ask about how reader would potentially be a presenter at an award show BUT would she ever host at some point? if so, i definitely think she'd pull it off + she'd probably do some cute promos as well, maybe even do an announcement promo with joel in some way! i think it'd be fun for her if she did + joel and the kids would LOVE it.

3. as reader ever got to work with big name actors/actresses before or does she prefer more indie like things and working with more unknown actors and actresses?

4. idk if it was mentioned at some point but was reader ever pregnant during a project/role she was doing? how was her experience and what was it like? i def think there'd be times when joel visited the set and she was all smiles because "daddy's here! visiting us" haha, it'd be precious!

5. this one is ABSOLUTELY silly but i notice how some celebrities will be at big events or something such as a tennis game or whatever and some of the reactions are SUCH a mood so i feel like if joel and reader attended some type of event like that, their reactions would be so silly and REAL.

last one finally lmaooo, im sorry i just love these two lots but speaking of special events, i think of how sweet and nice it is to imagine joel just watching from a distance as reader is out doing her thing at a premiere or something like the met gala where she looks GORGEOUS and Joel's thinking "wow, there she is! that's my amazing beautiful wife" 🥹🥹🥹 because he's such a supporter of her HELLO and he's just an awe but also, imagine how reader feels whenever she sees joel on stage knowing that a song is being dedicated to her or just watching her husband from a distance knowing that's the person she's married and fell for.

ANYWAYS! this is so long, again so sorry 😭 but I'm curious to know your answers when you get a chance 👀💜💜💜💜

DONT BE SORRY THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR OKAY

I think at the beginning of their relationship, they definitely go all out for Valentine's Day. Nice hotels, dinners, heartfelt (and expensive) presents, the whole nine yards. I think when Sam and the girls are little, it gets harder to do stuff for Valentine's Day especially when you're bouncing between work, school, and helping your children make "Valentimes" for their classmates. Things calm down just a little and you two will settle for a nice, homemade dinner in your messy kitchen after the kids have gone to bed. Joel will send flowers to you at work and you'll humor him with a silly, giggly strip tease even though you're wearing sweatpants and a shirt with marker stains on it. It's pure, domestic bliss. Once the kids are older and they've been married for a long time, I think they would alternate between elaborate plans and low-key ones. After all, they definitely don't need an excuse to be grossly in love with each other.

I could totally see her hosting an award show! She'd be so busy but having so much fun and she'd recruit all her famous contacts to help her with promotion and what not. On the night of, if Joel's not there, he totally sets up a watch party at home with all of the Miller kids, spouses, and grandkids and cheers you on the whole time. If he is there, the kids are probably there too and help you backstage with awards, setting up different presenters, and keeping you calm. You'd all get dressed up and take nice pictures as a family. I see it being hectic but so rewarding (no pun intended)

I think it's a good mix of both! I have it in my personal canon that she does go on to do some Marvel, Greta Gerwig, Bridgerton type projects that have so much hype (and a huge budget) surrounding them but I also see her taking on some smaller roles from smaller production companies as long as the story is good. In my head, Red Dirt Girl (the movie talked about through much of the main storyline) is a smaller production and smaller actors but they all end up taking OFF after that.

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOUT THIS TODAY GET OUT OF MY HEAD okay so I think with Sam, she is definitely pregnant in the middle of filming something but doesn't realize until she passes out at work or something and she gets taken to the hospital where they find out she's pregnant. They weren't trying but they weren't being careful so it's a little bit of a shock but they adjusted. For the first time in her career, she'd let them hire a stunt double for her and would take it easier than she had in the past. They'd definitely have to change some wardrobe and people would treat her like she's made of glass but it's all manageable. Joel would be the biggest change of pace. He'd been on set before but after they find out they're pregnant, HES THERE EVERYDAY. I think they'd fight about it a little bit just because she feels a little smothered and Joel agrees to back off a little. As she progresses, I think she'd be more okay with him visiting and would poke at her belly and be like, "your dad's here." With the twins, they find out relatively early on because her symptoms are so bad it's literally unavoidable and they try to keep it a secret for as long as possible BUT when she goes back to reshoot a scene where she has to be smoking a cigarette or something, she's like, "..... no." and they're like "we need this for continuity," and she's like "I'm pregnant. With twins." BECAUSE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SAY. I think she would've worked for longer when she was pregnant with Sam than when she was pregnant with the girls just because of the risks and Miller children are not known for being easy so I definitely think she'd have a harder time with the girls than she did with Sam but everything ends up okay!

It's canon to me that the Millers are a BASEBALL FAMILY it was actually one of the first things I wrote for the One for the Money universe! Joel is partial to the Astros (boo) while she's definitely more of a Cubs/Yankees fan because she lived in New York and did a lot of filming in the Chicago/Midwest area for a time. I think they would be able to compromise and cheer for the Dodgers together but when it comes to their personal teams, they don't play around. Sam also goes on to play baseball professionally so I see them going to baseball games together as a big, happy family. Being an actress, she DEFINITELY wouldn't be able to keep her emotions a secret and would regularly be caught yelling, cheering, and dancing along to whatever song is playing through the stadium. God Bless anyone in the nearest vicinity when the Astros and the Yankee's play each other in the World Series.

I 100% think Joel has these moments all the time at events. I see her off doing her own thing like interviews or individual photos and he's just staring at her like "that's really my wife." He's known to get teary or really affectionate on red carpets, giving photographers everything and more. She tends to do the same thing, especially if he's getting recognized for something, and will get choked up during interviews about him. They're just so in love and proud of each other they make me SICK

Thank you for all your fun questions about my little oftm family! I hadn't thought about some of these before and it was really fun to think about them so thank you!!!

[leighsartworks216]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Game

Tagged by @shenanigans-and-imagines! I don't usually do these, but hell why not

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 56 individual "works", but that doesn't count how many chapters/actual fics I have posted there

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2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

373,417

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3 - What fandoms do you write for?

So many, oh god. Markiplier Egos, Marvel, The Witcher, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, NCIS, Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, The Arcana, For The Love Of The Gods, Ace Attorney, Indiana Jones, Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom, Howl's Moving Castle, Enola Holmes, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Baldur's Gate 3. These are just all the fandoms I have characters I will write for in, so even though I don't have fics for all these fandoms, I will write for them

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4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Have A Type, Don't You? - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

I Come With Knives (series) - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Designated Lockpicker - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Astarion Drabbles - Astarion x Tav/Reader ficlets

You Hate Me - Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

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5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

It depends on the comment, but I don't respond all the time. If someone has a question, or I feel I need to correct them/steer them in the right direction, I'll answer, but I don't respond to most of the ones gushing/aweing over the fic, not to say I don't still appreciate them all immensely.

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6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Rom, My Beloved is my saddest/angstiest from my individual works, but there are some really angsty fics in my Loki and Markiplier Ego compiled works. I wrote it because Rom is my favorite Bloodborne boss and I just loved her lore, but tragedy abounds when you talk about a Soulsborne game

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7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot of my fics nowadays have happy endings, but my favorite of my completed individual works is probably The Rescue of Magistrate Ancunin, because it's open-ended as to what could happen next but it takes a devastating moment from Astarion's life and makes it nice and a little silly

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8 - Do you get hate on fics?

In recent memory, no, but I'm sure I have at some point. I usually delete it and move on

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9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Very vanilla but very emotionally-charged. I have a tendency to focus more on the emotions of those involved and how they feel about their partner over how the sex feels

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10 - Do you write crossovers?

No, but I have thought about doing a Witcher and Bloodborne crossover, because I think it would be very interesting

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11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I did check through the major sites when AI bots started scraping fics off AO3, but I didn't see anything then. If anything does come up though, absolutely let me know

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12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but! Back when I wrote on Wattpad, I had some very lovely person ask to read my fic on Youtube. I agreed and I wish I could find it, because I just remember being so elated by it

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13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I don't really know how to approach co-writing, and it's just not something I'm too interested in rn

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14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

Uh uhm pass (I can't think of any 💀)

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15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a Breath of the Wild fic planned out, with notes and even a first chapter written out and future ones with little bits drabbled out, but when I tried revisiting it again, I was just so lost in what I had planned. I hope one day I can finish it, but it's not gonna be soon

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16 - What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that it's the little details I add that ground it more into reality, ie hair getting caught on earrings or a voice cracking while trying to sing

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17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I don't describe things complex enough. I can describe emotions or scenery and dip in a little bit, but I can never get it deep *enough*, but I know that comes mostly with neurodivergences and comparing myself to others

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18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I hate when writers have foreign words/phrases in the middle of a fic and don't translate them until the very very end. That means I have so pick up the context clues around it, translate it myself, or risk getting spoiled trying to find the translation

Also, if your character uses sign language, don't put it in italics or ' ', just write it out like if it was verbal dialogue. "They signed, '[fill in the blank]'" Describe the way the gestures are formed (sloppy, sharp, indecipherable, fast) to get across emotion, and also the expressions on their face, since sign languages are very heavily reliant on facial emotions to ass meaning to the signs themselves

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19 - First fandom you wrote for?

Hard to say. I first started my writing on Wattpad, and have since been locked out of that account, but it was probably Doctor Who, knowing me

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20 - Favorite fic you've written?

I have a hard time picking favorites! And I like a bunch of them for a variety of different reasons, and always have things to nitpick about them

I will say I am really really enjoying my work on I Come With Knives so far. It's a passion project and I have some very big, angsty things planned for the future that I can't wait to get to >:3

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I don't really know who to tag for these things ever, so if you want to do it, go for it :)

[love-on-mars]

I know this is a silly request but I need a Mick Mars x reader where they pretend to be vampires! Please it would be so cute. And the reader can even do Mick’s makeup before one of his shows and they can just be so fun and lovey! Ahh I just need vampire Mick! (If you can can you make it Shout At The Devil era Mick) thank you!

I’m so sorry this took so long! I just finished my senior year of HS so I’ve been busy, but now I’ll have more time to write! I really hope I did this right, enjoy!

Warnings: none, just fluff

Alien? No, Vampire.

Halloween night, a usually chaotic one filled to the brim with skimpy outfits, copious amounts of fake blood, excessive drinking and constant sugar highs. Add all of that with a Motley Crue concert and you’ve got yourself one hell of a night.

You lived for Halloween, dressing up every year and having the time of your life. This year brought something new to add to it, your alien rockstar boyfriend Mick Mars.

Usually Mick always grumbled when you pulled him into things, but it just so happens he loves Halloween too…

“Soooo I had an idea…..” you walked up to Mick slowly as he prepared to go to the venue for the concert. “Oh no, you? Thinking? What an awful idea!” He snickered as you hit his arm playfully. “I was thinking, since you and I both love horror movies and tonight is Halloween…you and I could dress up for the concert? I have costumes already picked out!” You say while you grab the vampire costumes and hold them up excitedly.

Mick stared at them for a minute and smirked, “Vampire costumes?” He laughed. “Yes! You’ve always given off undead bloodsucker vibes!”

“Alright” he smiled, loving your enthusiasm towards not only the holiday, but also himself.

Sitting backstage, you sit in Micks lap doing his makeup. You almost finish when Doc McGee knocks and opens the door.

“Mick? Why are you wearing that? The show will start soon!” He questions, pointing towards the Shout at the devil attire. “It’s Halloween, Doc” he dryly replied in typical Mars fashion, making you giggle.

Doc sighed, “you’ll look out of place, but I can’t stop you. As long as you put on a great show I don’t care.” He says as he leaves. “You hear that? You’ll be the focus tonight instead of the others” you say as you dismount his lap, showing him the pale and bloody makeup you applied.

Mick didn’t respond to your comment, only stating “it looks great, love”. You take out a small case and glue on the fake fangs for him. He looks at you and gives a ‘Mars face’ while going for your neck.

“Don’t ruin the look before the show!” You laugh, lightly pushing him away. “But I want to suck your blood!” He exclaimed, doing an awful Dracula impression.

“Mars! You’re on in ten!” A voice boomed from outside. You look at him, “go get ‘em Marsman”. He nods and heads out, while you smile mischievously as you go to your bag to put on your costume and makeup.

After the show, Mick ran back to the dressing room. “Hey where we’re you? Everyone loved it! The guys thought it was hilarious, said it was the most ‘Mars’ thing they’ve seen in a while.” He looked around to a darkened room, he then felt two hands wrap around him. “Mwahaha!” You laugh out, “your mine now, Mars!”.

Mick spun around, marveling at your costume. It was more revealing as opposed to his, which was more traditional. “Mmm sexy vampire doll…” he cheekily mumbled out, placing his hands on your hips. Kissing your cheek he holds you close as he moves down to your neck, leaving little loves bites before sucking on it hard.

“Mick! You’re so silly!” You laugh as he pretends to suck your blood. He stops and looks up at you, smiling. “What can I say? Vamps gotta feed.” He smiles.

You both head home, and binge watch horrors movies whilst Intaking a very unhealthy amount of candy. Eventually you fall asleep against Mick, he picked you up and brought you into bed. Deciding against undressing you and removing your makeup for giggles, he lays down next to you after changing his clothes. He whispers softly, “Goodnight my sweet vampire, these nights will never get old.”

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. First of all: welcome Sofia! Second: welcome back, Olive we’ve missed you! Well, I’ve missed you, but I feel like that’s true for all of us writers, not like I speak on our collective behalf or anything … I also want to second Olive’s comments about how wonderful your writing is Winter. I also want to extend that to Strawberry, your stories really brighten my day too. (I just love you all - including and especially you, EMT!) Third: I saw there was a request for a Bregacon fic. I know lovely Strawberry has done one recently, and I know I’ve done some in the past, but here’s a new one. This is based a little on that short video of them showing Teresa May and her husband around the fort, you can see this lovely rooftop garden, and they mention something about a cocktail hour. That inspired some of the imagery. I think you guys will get the other references. Hope everyone enjoys!

She loved surprises. Well, good surprises, she guesses she should qualify (because God knows she has had her share of bad surprises in her life). So she was more than intrigued when she saw her husband’s text message about 15 minutes ago.

“Meet me on the roof in 20 minutes. Wear that black dress please! 😘”

She knew which black dress he wanted, he had insisted she pack it, even when she protested, pointing out it was silly to bring a slinky cocktail dress to a summer vacation at a fort they were planning on only rarely leaving. But he pulled out his puppy dog eyes, and begged “please,” and, just like always, she caved, but not before securing a promise he was going to make it worth her while.

Which is how she found herself shivering on the roof in a dress that barely skims her thighs as it hugs every curve watching as the sky was painted with pinks, oranges, and ever deepening blues. ‘This must be the surprise,’ she thought as the view took her breath away.

Unobserved, several paces back, he stared at his wife in awe. Bathed in the setting sun, she looked more beautiful than any painting he’s ever seen, more beautiful than any goddess could image, more spectacular than any words could describe. Once again, he found himself wondering how he ever got so lucky. After a few more moments marveling at her, he the need to get closer to her won out over the desire just to keep watching.

“Gorgeous,” Emmanuel declared loudly as he approached her, to give her fair warning of presence.

She turned around and smiled at him, “it is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

Sliding up behind her and looping his arms tightly around her waist, he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck before whispering into her ear, “sure, the sunset is not half bad.”

She blushed crimson at that, matching the pinks in the sky around her.

He chuckled at that, still thrilled by the way she still after all these years reacts when he compliments her, as if it was still the first time. “Come on,” he told her giving her a final squeeze before letting go to grab her hand, “I want to show you something.”

He pulled her with him around a corner, gasp coming out of her mouth as soon as she saw all he had set up: a fully set stable under a lattice that had been strung with fairy lights, a centerpiece candle lit and flickering, surrounded by a ring of her favourite flowers.

Puffing out his chest a little, proud that he could surprise her like this, render her this speechless, he asked, “do you know what today is?”

She thought for a moment, before she had to shake her head no, a little disappointed in herself that she couldn’t remember.

“That’s okay, you weren’t there exactly,” he reassured her, seeing how her brow was knit with guilt and worry. “Today is the 25th anniversary of the day I decided I was going to marry you.”

“What?” She asked, turning to him, more than a little stunned.

“I told you when I left I was going to marry you and I meant it!”

“I know you did but -“

“You thought that was something I just came up with on the spot?” He laughed gently. “Oh, chérie.

“25 years ago today I woke up for the most vivid dream I had ever had in my life, in fact, it was so realistic, I thought I was actually in dream world when I first woke up, not the other way around. In that dream, I saw you walking down the aisle to me in the second most beautiful wedding dress I’d ever seen -“

“Second?” She asked, unable to help herself.

“Your real one was so much better.

“Anyways, I saw our wedding, our reception, our wedding night, and when I woke up that morning gasping for breath, I knew what that dream was telling me. And, when my heart rate finally returned to normal, I made up my mind officially - I was going to marry you.

“So, I wanted to do something nice to celebrate the anniversary, because, in my heart, you’ve been my wife since that moment.”

“But we weren’t even a couple!” She protested, despite the tears in her eyes betraying how moved she was by this declaration.

“I always knew we would be here eventually,” he shrugged with a bit of a smirk. “Now, come on. I dont want this good champagne to get warm.”

Hellooo fanfic Anon #2! ❤️

Aww, I love you all too ❤️

Oh my heart, the level of cuteness in this piece is so high! Emmanuel preparing a surprise to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the day he decided he was going to marry Brigitte 🥺 No but please, the pure and romantic sweet potato 🥰 Beautiful beyond words! You just completely made me melt from beginning to end 🫠😍 This will live rent free on my mind 🥰

Thank you so much, fanfic Anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 2x25 Tribunal thoughts (I'm re-watching, so there may be future spoilers)

Aww, Miles is so worried about the station

"Would you PLEASE go on vacation." Kira's had it, I wonder how long he's been fussing around for? XD

"He's been driving me crazy all day." Sisko joining in XD

Aha, I love the little face poking up through the turbolift, it was obvious he was going to return once Sisko had said that but still, a classic joke XD

"PLEASE disembark the station." I just love this crew banter

Oooh, this random guy's a baddie, but I can't remember how

"You talked to me for half an hour!" "No, there must have been someone else in bed with us." This sounds like Miles is just making excuses, but honestly, my housemate also does this - he can have a whole conversation while sleeping without me realising he isn't awake!

Keiko just sitting there waiting for him to make it up to her XD

Silly laughter <3 Love it when these two are just cute.

"You're an engineer. Do something about it." XD

Gul Evek... Why do I know the name? (*googles* > Miles asked him for help with the vole infestation, he was the overseer of the Cardassian takeover of Dorvan V in Journey's End, AND he was the Cardassian on Volan III that Sisko and Dukat found arguing with the Maquis.)

Keiko's "MILES" is heartbreaking

"--remove your clothes--" this is so disturbing.

Oh, this is so awful to watch. They really went for it, huh.

"My name is Miles O'Brien." The way he says it til he's woozy, my heart, these Starflett-trained guys

Ugh, torture via teeth always makes me wince the most

"You were told he was not to be harmed." Interesting, why does she care?

"Damn it, don't lie to me! They're torturing him as we sit here." "It is standard procedure for the Cardassians to use torture in their interrogations. You are correct, Mrs O'Brien." Although this sounds like Odo being more blunt than is socially acceptable, Keiko clearly already knows what's up and him confirming it is caring about her and validating her worries

"You don't know how many times Miles spoke to me about this." This line actually shows so much about their relationship, we don't see Miles talking that vulnerably on screen, but he does off-screen with Keiko <3

"If that sounds like a threat, it is." Sisko is marvellous

"I AM an officer of the court." YES, Odo!

It's so terrifying, this helplessness of not being able to find out what's happening or how to stop it

Julian's so ready to fight for O'Brien <3 I love how he won't even entertain the idea Miles had something to do with the Maquis.

"No! Are you here to interrogate me, Constable?" Odo I know you're trying your best but this isn't what Miles needs right now!

"I'm no angel, but I try to live every day as the best human being I know how to be. I need my little girl to wake up in the morning and look up at me and see a man she can respect." oh Miles <3

"You flatter me, sir, you flatter me, but we want justice, not chaos in this court." I kind of love this little guy, like he's awful but he's just trying his best at his job he's very proud of and he's so close to retiring and he just wants the best for Cardassia like he's always been taught.

Odo trying so so hard. It's so satisfying when he DOES interrupt and get his point across, even if my soul shrivels up every time it is eventually dismissed.

Ooh, her teacher voice is coming out. "And you, sir, do not try the patience of the Cardassian people."

What is Julian doiiing?

Oh, he's just being a prop for the plot to be solved XD

It's taken me all episode to realise that yes, the Cardassians who are sitting there looking like children ARE children, because that's a very Cardassian move. And God, it's chilling

The end is here, all is (mostly) well, and Miles is STILL reluctant to holiday, unbelievable. (But not really)

Well that's sure an episode, isn't it 😅

[catsvrsdogscatswin]

Higurashi Month 2023, Day 29: Holding

Higurashi Month prompts archive: AO3 

 It felt so –normal, in her hands. Just like a boxcutter, or the handle of some strange arcane kitchen tool, slipping gently into her palm. Cool, thick, sturdy plastic, with a slight rubber grip on both sides.

Shion, of course, knew it was no such thing, and stared at the two small prongs with a mix of wonder, awe, and fear. Her thumb hovered over the button to press it… but over a decade being trained to handle weapons prevented her from pressing down, just to see the presumably-dazzling burst of electricity. Shion had been taught to handle guns since she was old enough to hold one without breaking her wrists from the recoil. She knew better than to play with a weapon.

And this was a weapon. She turned it over and over in her hands, carefully, marveling at it. Something for her very own, for Shion. It had been a long, long time since her family had given her something, and even longer since it was something meant for her and her alone.

But she was still, in the end, a Sonozaki. She still had worth and value, if only as a bargaining chip, a tie directly to the head of the family's blood. Even after her name had been blurred and swapped, she was still worth defending.

They had given her Kasai, a looming bearded man whose entire personality seemed to consist of stony, dogged professionalism and loyalty, but Kasai was only a man, and only one man, and he had been injured. Bodyguard duty may be something of a sinecure, but it still allowed him to preserve his honor and pride as a member of the Sonozaki Family’s fighting forces.

But he was still not the feared member of her father’s group that he once had been.

And so Shion had been given this weapon, to personally defend herself against anyone who might wish her harm.

It was also important to be versatile. Kasai may be more than capable of killing –watching him handle and clean his weapons from the locked cabinet in his room, Shion didn’t doubt it– but killing was not always the best response to a problem. Even if she rather liked the idea, murdering some drooling idiot for trying to put his hands on her was a bit… overkill. There were people who drifted through who didn’t know Sonozaki, who didn’t know Hinamizawa, and even if her family could probably very easily dispose of any bodies, fabricate what stories they needed to, still, it was better to not need to at all.

So she had this modified stun gun to take care of problems that slipped through Kasai’s guard or were too minor to involve him in.

She thought on that as she turned it over in her hands again. Modified… not legally, she didn’t think, but growing up in Hinamizawa gave one a rather flexible approach to legality even when you weren’t a direct member of the Sonozaki Family. Regulations were rarely enforced, this far out in the countryside, and as long as something wasn’t too dangerous, most people just shrugged and let it happen. Why bother kicking up a fuss about something like that?

Shion was not used to having a weapon again. When she’d been the heir, there had been something on her at all times, even if it was as silly as the airsoft gun that Mion now carried in a holster on her shoulder. Compressed air and rubber bullets –but Mion had put a lot of time and effort into make the exterior of the gun look as realistic as possible, and anyone who knew her as a Sonozaki and attacked her on that basis would expect her to carry a real gun. That silly little toy had merit as a weapon, even if it was only useful for bluffing.

And if she ever needed to switch out that gun for a real one, the airsoft was so realistic that no one would notice the difference unless Mion got searched…

But Shion was not Mion any longer, and she had gone without a weapon of her own for some time now. It would take some readjusting –not just of her wardrobe, as her skirts and uniforms and jackets were tailored for holding the stun gun wherever she might need it in whichever outfit she had– but also her lifestyle, of the way that she moved and thought.

She’d not needed to practice basic weapon safety for some time, but it was like slipping an old, worn glove from childhood back onto her hands, both familiar and yet disconcertingly new. This was hers now, and she would take care of it, let it defend her.

There are worlds in which she uses it for more than defense, but Shion only glimpsed fragments of them in her dreams, haunting and unsettlingly real, yet easily shaken aside upon awakening. When her fingers brush over her stun gun soon after, it felt almost like a buzz, a hum of warning beneath her touch.

But Shion was not the sort of person who tended to listen to omens or strange feelings. She went through life with her chin held high and her shoulders set, firmly keeping her mind on whatever course of action she had chosen.

She kept her stun gun in her trouser pocket, or in the slit down the back of her skirt, or in her jacket, and she kept herself ready for anything.

[tinycurtains]

How to Feel Alive Again

It all started with a Post-it note.

“Go for a walk,” it said, the no-nonsense command perched in a prominent spot above Katherine May’s desk.

Ms. May, a British author who wrote the best-selling memoir “Wintering” about a fallow and difficult period of her life, had come across more hard times during the height of the pandemic. She was bored, restless, burned out. Her usual ritual — walking — had fallen away, along with other activities that used to bring her pleasure: collecting pebbles, swimming in the sea, savoring a book.

“There was nothing that made the world feel interesting to me,” Ms. May said in a recent interview with The New York Times. “I felt like my head was kind of full and empty at the same time.”

In Ms. May’s latest book, “Enchantment,” she describes how a simple series of actions, like writing that note, helped her to discover little things that filled her with wonder and awe — and, in turn, made her feel alive again.

“You have to keep pursuing it until you get that tingle that tells you that you’ve found something that’s magical to you,” Ms. May said. “It’s trial and error, isn’t it?”

We asked Ms. May for tips on how you can do the same.

Commit to noticing the world around you

“We have to find the humility to be open to experience every single day and to allow ourselves to learn something,” Ms. May wrote in “Enchantment.”

This, she acknowledges, “is easier said than done.”

“Let yourself go past those thoughts that tell you it’s silly or pointless or a waste of time, or you’re far too busy to possibly do this,” Ms. May said during the interview. “Instead give yourself permission to want that in the first place — to crave that contact with the sacred, and that feeling of being able to commune with something that’s bigger than you are.”

Entering a state of wonder is akin to using a muscle, Ms. May said. Put yourself in that mind-set more often and it gradually becomes easier.

First, you must “give in to the fascination” that you feel in everyday moments. For example, Ms. May gets “really excited” when she sees light dance across the surface of her coffee.

Don’t force it, though. The key, she said, is to keep looking for the things that make you marvel — and have faith that you will encounter them.

What you find pleasurable might be quite simple: Ms. May has often felt awe when examining a small bug in her garden.

“We’ve told ourselves that everything needs to be so big,” she said. “Actually, we can just breathe out and live quite small lives.”

Ask yourself one simple question

Instead of thinking about what you find enchanting, which may feel too difficult to answer, Ms. May suggests asking yourself a different question: What soothes you?

It might be going on a walk. Or visiting an art museum. Maybe you enjoy watching the shifting clouds.

Whatever it is, find a way to do it. Every morning, Ms. May goes outside and smells the air “like a dog,” she said with a laugh. She notices the color of the sky and the way her skin feels against the cool air.

For some people, that soothing moment might be found in a place of worship, or while staring at the moon.

“The moon is so beautiful, and when you look at the moon you can’t help but notice the stars and the planets that are out in the night sky,” said Ms. May, who observes the phase of the moon regularly. “It’s just a lovely, lovely thing to do. Every day. And it’s so easy.”

Contemplate and reflect in your own way

If you want to spend more time in personal reflection but you are concerned about doing it the “right” way, set aside that concern.

When Ms. May was learning to meditate, for instance, she aimed to do so twice a day for 20 minutes, but not before or after sleep, and never after a meal. Then she became a mother and finding the time to meditate became more difficult.

“You come to a point in your life when you think, ‘This is just simply impossible,’” she said. “For a long time I thought, ‘I’ve failed. Obviously I should be able to do this.’”

Eventually, she had a realization: The problem wasn’t that she hadn’t tried hard enough, it was that those rules weren’t made for her. They had been created by someone who had never walked in her shoes.

Now she meditates in a different way. Sometimes she does it for five minutes in the middle of the night, or while walking through the woods.

“For me, it’s never been about clearing my mind,” Ms. May said. “It’s about undertaking the kind of slower work of processing all of those things that are itching at the back of your brain.”

Do it because it feels good

People tend to think that seeking pleasure for pleasure’s sake is somehow naïve, Ms. May said. In other words, we are more likely to assign worth to things that are considered practical and efficient.

But you don’t need a set of data or another compelling reason to do something that brings you joy.

For example, one of Ms. May’s hobbies is cold water swimming. She doesn’t do it to burn calories. Rather, it’s for “the sheer pleasure of being in that incredible space,” she said, not to mention “how sensual it is, and the amazing happy hormones it releases.”

And although Ms. May initially took a beekeeping class to learn how to make honey at home, this goal became less urgent when she became filled with awe as a student.

“I could still, technically, do that, but I realise now that this is never what I really wanted,” Ms. May wrote in “Enchantment.”

The enjoyment of it all — the connection with her teachers and classmates, the sensory delights — surpassed any practical ambitions.

“I want to take it slowly, to absorb my lessons through the skin and the ears, to sometimes get stung,” she wrote of the experience. And she described the wonder she found in the class: “They are so loud when they all sing together, and with the smell of honey and propolis, the smoke, the way the whole box vibrates under your hands, it is quite absolute, this interaction of human and bee.”

[hearthtales]

Alice rarely experienced normal conversations in Wonderland. It was a world of rumors and riddles and rhymes, with residents who often chattered about nonsense and a Queen who often threatened to behead her subjects. Few people considered Alice’s age when speaking to her. Really, she preferred it that way. She had despised when adults in England treated her as nothing more than a silly little girl.

So, Samhain’s willingness to speak about the topic didn’t startle Alice. He reminded her of the folk in Wonderland, in a way. Except he was a much better listener. And here he was, listening patiently while she prattled on about slaying a monster. Surely he would prefer more cheerful conversation.

Caught in thought, Alice missed the first half of his reply. She caught the second part, though, where he proposed inquiring about teachers. The weight that had settled over her shoulders eased. It sounded marvelously simple when he phrased it like that.

She raised her gaze to meet Samhain’s at last, her eyes bright with awe and newfound hope. “Why, yes. You’re right. I ought to just ask them myself.” And, she scolded herself, I ought to stop being so glum and dreary! Gathering her courage and remembering her manners, she offered Samhain a small smile of gratitude. “Thank you. For— for listening, you know, and for the advice, and the tea. It’s lovely.”

A wave of relief washed over Alice at his suggestion to drop the topic for now, and she nodded in assent. And… he offered her a place to spend the night. This was more generosity than she’d hoped for. She thanked him with another smile, sleepier this time.

When she found a room upstairs, she stopped in the doorway and stared inside, stunned. In Wonderland, her closest friends allowed her to sleep in spare rooms in their homes. This looked like none of those rooms. Instead, it looked exactly like her bedroom in England. Half-forgotten memories flooded back. A cozy bed with a lamp on the bedside table, perfect for reading illustrated books late into the night. Walls of faded green that had always reminded her of the green continents on her father’s old globe.

She half-expected to see her kitty, Dinah, curled beside the pillow, but she wasn’t there.

Her vision blurred for some reason. She rubbed away the tears, feeling silly, and smoothed her hand over the blanket patterned with vines and flowers. When she tugged off her shoes and slipped beneath the covers, her exhaustion caught up with her. In all the excitement, she’d forgotten her tiredness and the lateness of the hour. She fell asleep in a heartbeat. It was the best night’s sleep she’d had in weeks.

When she awoke, she felt briefly disoriented — half-convinced she’d never fallen into Wonderland at all, since this room looked so much like her own. The events of the previous evening returned to her as she shook the fogginess from her head. She wasn’t in England, nor in Wonderland. She was in Sundown.

She padded downstairs, trying to avoid making the floor creak as much as possible. She knew she was a guest and not a trespasser, but she couldn’t help being cautious. “Samhain?” she called softly. Surely she hadn’t simply dreamed him, had she?

Adults normally steered away from such dreary topics when children were present but Samhain was in the company of the dead more often than the living, let alone living children. The thought that such conversations were inappropriate to have with a child as young and as sweet as Alice never crossed his mind. In fact, he even thought it all the more necessary since the citizens of Wonderland were so persistent. Alice had no magick running through her veins, he could tell. As far as Samhain was concerned, Alice was a normal, human girl who had just stumbled upon the wrong place at the wrong time.

Perhaps there was something special about her. Something only Wonderland could see, much like how Sundown had a knack for knowing who to spirit away and when. After some time, Samhain had learned not to question Sundown's methods even if he could not understand them at first. But to think they hadn't even attempted to train her yet?? Samhain had heard Wonderlanders were mad, but not cruel enough to send an underaged, untrained child to battle, prophecy be damned.

Whatever thoughts he had about the Wonderlanders' methods, Samhain swallowed it for the moment and focused back on Alice. She was just an innocent wee thing, frightened and unsure, thrust onto a path without as much as her own say in. He told himself he had no right to interfere, but he also couldn't just sit by and do nothing.

"Yes, there's still plenty o'time," he assured her. His tone was encouraging, as if hoping he could lend her even the tiniest bit of strength possible from words alone. "An' ah'm sure they've thought things through but perhaps ye could be the first to enquire about your teachers. Know who they are an' what you'll need to learn about defeating.. the beast."

If they were to have their last conversation in Sundown tonight, Samhain made sure Alice would leave with a smile and at least an ounce of confidence more than when she arrived. So he straightened his back and smiled warmly, "These kinds of things always seem more frightening when speaking about them at night. Perhaps we can do away with them for a little while."

Samhain finished his tea and waited until Alice was done with hers before suggesting she stay the night. There were guest rooms upstairs that would fashion into whatever Alice found most comfortable to sleep in, and in the morning they would send her back to wherever she came - or wherever she'd choose to go.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

still fixated on the idea of toji being mean to a cute chubby reader; being all handsy with them, always grabbing— and there’s SO much to grab, their thighs, their ass, their chest, their belly, even their soft arms, he loves it— or pinching just to hear them squeak (so sensitive!!); can’t get enough of how they look when he’s got them all frustrated, so wet he can feel it as they grind into his thigh; loves to hear them whine as he finally sinks into them, and fuck, that’s the one time this asshole stops running his filthy fucking mouth because they’re so /goddamn/ tight. Anyway, I also feel like a whore today ffff DGHJJ

Ykw shame on you for making me simp for Toji, he's CRUSTY and LAZY and GAHHH!!!

Anyways sksksk

CW: chubby reader, gn reader, smut, "fat" used in a nonderogatory way

God damn it fuck shit mother fucking GUH

Alright fine I'll be horny for Toji 🙄

God no but it's such a yummy concept i hate it 😩

Toji bullying you? Teasing you? Making you so flustered that you stutter and squirm and struggle to focus on the task at hand?

He's such a meanie ong the worst man you've ever met

He's pinching your cheeks, tugging your hair, flipping up your skirt, cornering you wherever you are and pushing his hips into you, his big fat cock pressing into your plump tummy

And he does it all with a stupid shit eating grin on his face bc he's so satisfied seeing how embarrassed you get around him

Mans towers over you (don't matter if you're taller than him, in my world he's taller than you 😤), making you feel so small despite how big your body is

He treats you like you weigh nothing, often pulling you along somewhere and picking you up and tossing you over his shoulder so he can smack your ass and hear you squeal in surprise

He's just so strong it's insane like how does he do it??

Mmm but imagine he bullies you at first just for fun bc he's bored or whateva

Just a silly schoolyard bully but with bulging muscles and an adult sksksk

He's mean just to be mean, calling you a chubby doll, squeezing your cheeks in one big hand and laughing about how squishy you are

Makes him wonder if the rest of you is just as squishy as your cute chubby cheeks

So maybe he starts jerking off to the thought of you, watching porn of fat cuties getting railed so he can imagine your body jiggling with each thrust (lowkey he's mad how little there is for big buff guys x chubby babes, like how can he visualize fucking you if it's a skinny white guy fucking instead? It just ain't accurate sksksk)

He's even meaner once he realizes that he's attracted to you, grabbing every inch of you that he has access to, marveling at how soft and squishy your body is

Bricked up the first time he squeezes your upper arms sksksk just the biggest boner he's ever had good lord he feels like a fuckin teenager with you

He's ready to risk it all just to slip his cock into you and watch you squirm and whine from how big he is

It doesn't matter if you run or hide or fight back: he's gonna keep chasin after ya and make your life a living hell until he gets to pound your fat ass into the bed 💕

And once he finally gets his hands on you the way he's been dreaming about?? OHOHOOOO, good luck trying to move on with your life like he is never letting you go sksksks

You're his partner now, this isn't up for discussion, ain't no way in hell he's lettin anybody else have a pretty lil thing like you, he is ADDICTED

He manhandles you so often it's crazy like wtf sksksk, just tossing you around to whatever position he wants before fucking your brains out

He's got so much stamina too it's a nightmare 😩

He could cum five times and he'll be back up and ready for round 6 after some water and a bathroom break sksksk

God but all the bruises? All the places he's smacked and grabbed, not thinking about his strength? It's awful 😔

You can barely sit down without wincing bc of the big ass bruise he gave you last night from slapping you too hard 🤧

Honestly good luck babe sksksk you're gonna need it, he's a fuckin monster to chubby babes