#make money by teaching

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[3liza]

Can confirm I had a relatively extremely competent stay at home father who made sure to limit TV time and read to me and encourage very precocious literacy that I think did me a lot of good... But in terms of basic life skills that stuff just didn't even come up I guess it was just assumed that I'd magically osmose stuff like "it's important to brush your teeth twice a day" when I was 8 lmao (I'm 26) and these are with solidly Gen X parents!

I've heard this from people your age a LOT and it's not your fault. but isn't it so weird to think about? that you'd have a kid and then be like well I'm sure they can figure out how to make spaghetti and pay rent do laundry on their own, I won't waste their time. of course if you only teach a kid one thing then how to read is a good one because you can find out almost everything else by readjng i guess

[thedisdainfullysilentvisitor]

AU where when Kathony announces they're leaving again, Ben, Hyacinth and Gregory elect to go with them to India both to share in Kathony's experience and to get away from Lady Whistledown

[mapleandgingeroatmeal]

The funniest part of James Somerton’s new video is that you know he was banking on the virality of it all to make big ad money bucks, but everyone’s genuinely so upset and done with him by now that the thing is only at 80k views.

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

[nickbutnodick]

school is school but i made a fish spin so life is good

[xxprincess1x]

Darling, It'll Be Alright | Gentlebeard Fanvid

Show: Our Flag Means Death

Music: Darling, It'll Be Alright by Allman Brown

[cath-lic]

when are we gonna break it to american conservatives that we already HAVE schools that teach the bible and they are called private christian schools. oh right i forgot they don’t actually care about that and are trying to enforce a state religion

[possumnest]

making a conscious effort to put more energy into indulgent personal art pieces - i've felt disconnected from creating Finished digital art recently and i have a hunch i've been too focused on creating products and worrying about my online shop. self-advertisement and maintaining an online presence in order to make money have always stressed me out, even when there's no actual pressure to deliver (ie. my very spotty newsletter that i don't know what to do with). i want to let go of the pressure to make art that is popular with prospective customers, and relearn how to make art that is for me first and foremost.

[melto]

my therapist wants me to consider an iop program. i dont know what to do, i cant bear the thought of worrying my family or having people look at me like im a freak. but i need help.

[lumiilys]

*Emerges from my room covered in paper scraps* HOW DID I END UP WITH SO MANY?

[lenaellsi]

Thinking about Aziraphale taking away Nina's pain and anger and agency at the ball so that she can be the star of his Perfect Regency Romance and then twelve hours later offering to change her narrative mirror into a watered-down, idealized version of himself so that their relationship will be less complicated

[resident-gay-bitch]

little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune

[waitineedaname]

reading the novel, i love how blatantly indulgent of the juniors lan wangji is. when he was their age, he was duelling wei wuxian over broken rules and lived his life by behaving as precisely as what was expected of him, and now as an adult, he's basically letting the juniors do whatever they want as long as it isn't unsafe and generally letting the kids act like kids

which leaves wei wuxian to have to be the one playing bad cop. wei "has never followed anyone else's rules in his life" "bane of lan qiren's existence" "public enemy number one" wuxian has to be the one being like "oh my god don't burn money on someone else's doorstep, don't you know that's rude. you kids need to focus on your studies more, why isn't anyone teaching you anything useful, do i have to do everything myself around here"

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

*slides money across counter*

May I ask your thoughts on c!allium duo and/or headcanons?

Dude I ADORE c!allium duo, they're like one of my un-catagorized top 3 favorite duos, and that's saying something because i have a ton of favorites. Like, the way they back each other up and try to protect each other at different times makes me sob so so much. AND AND AND the fact their relationship is always changing (though, that is mostly just from c!Tommy) and developing, and its SUCH A SHAME it had to be cut short because of c!Ranboo's death.

Unfortunately I don't any written or thought out headcanons of them, but there are a few that linger in the back of my head:

Sometimes when c!Ranboo is enderwalking late at night he'll subconsciously wander over to c!Tommy's house out of an unidentified worry, and if c!Tommy is awake at that time (which he usually is, that workaholic) he'll lead the enderman back home and firmly tell him to stay like a misbehaving dog. It doesn't always work and it's not uncommon for c!Tommy to have an enderman trying to follow him undetected and failing.

c!Ranboo and c!Tommy frequently have cook-offs for different types of foods while c!Tubbo and Michael will be the judges. Everytime c!Ranboo wins c!Tommy blames it on the fact he's married to c!Tubbo and not because of the burnt food he made himself.

c!Ranboo schedules "play-dates" for Michael and Shroud as an excuse to hang out with c!Tommy, since the latter would insist he's too busy otherwise.

c!Tommy taught c!Ranboo how to garden, and its become one of their favorite past-times to do together.

c!Ranboo taught c!Tommy how to dance, though he's too embarrassed to ever practice.

c!Ranboo turns a blind eye when he sees c!Tommy snatching something from his chests because he has more than enough to spare (that rich loser).

It's not a lot and it gets shorter as the list goes on but that's all I can think of right now, they're criminally underrated and they make me want to shrivel up and DIE!! I love them so

[lucysgraybird]

HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEH