#maintenance is a bitch tho

[zivazivc]

next on things no one asked: this is what Les's fur texture is like. his genes got a little scrambled and he ended up hatching curly like a sheep

[little-smartass]

got the Bored Of My Hair itch and legitimately googling "bisexual hair styles" for inspo

[dyslexic-mess]

giggling about the fact that, in year 8, our music teacher had us learn and study 'killer queen' by queen.

It's only dawned on me recently: that song is about an escort.

Our teacher had a class of 13 year olds sing a song about an expecive hooker at the school showcase.

[wifeyoozi]

Svt with a high maintenance girlfriend, thank you <3

Ot13 seventeen : high maintenance girlfriend

Ceecee note - I literally don't know a lot about high maintenance girlies because I literally am too lazy to get stuff done even though I love doing it all and being a girlie lol so forgive me.

seungcheol : literally doesn't expect you to be any other way. if you weren't high maintenance before, he'll spoil you enough to be so eventually we all know it

jeonghan : he's equally high maintenance so the both of you better be rich or he be stealing cheol's money for you both

joshua : he is a man from LA with a J name I think he can really afford a high maintenance girlfriend. Secretly actually prefers that. Just because mindful that he's still The Bitch in the relationship you cannot take his spot.

Junhui : lowkey finds you tiring but simultaneously loves spoiling you. "Oh you want to get your nails done? AGAIN?? you just got them done! No problem tho I wired you $300 enjoy babe 😘😘"

Soonyoung : loves spoiling you in a way where he comes to all of your expensive appointments and shopping and likes yo personally pick your nail and hair and dresses

Wonwoo : I think he doesn't even notice you are high maintenance until his friends point that out. He's like "oh don't all girls like to get their things done like that?"

Woozi : on the outside he shows that he doesnt care as much about spending money on your maintenance but it secretly turns him on. To flex his money on your beauty. His black card has its first home in your wallet not his.

Minghao : this man is dressed up in Gucci and Versace all day long so I think he'd be really proud of a girlfriend who's the same. An equally high maintained couple going to get their nails and hair done together all the time that's you.

Mingyu : highkey intrigued by everything you do. He's that typa man. Would randomly show up at your saloon one day just to see how you get your manicures and pedicure and body spas done. Loves how you always get so happy after you've got it all done.

Seokmin : what's the use of him earning as much as he does if he can't spend it on you? Feels so entitled when you are by his side because of how strong your aura is with your luxurious looks.

Seungkwan : complains and pouts about you spending more time in the saloon than you do in his arms. Starts insisting you book home appointments just so he could cuddle by your side as you get all of your shit done and successfully make the aesthetician uncomfortable with the strong couple energy.

Vernon : I think he secretly knows a lot about manicures and pedicures and nails and hair and spas because of how close he seems with his sister so he just loves spoiling you like that and see you be all fresh and happy afterwards.

Dino : I feel you're gonna have to explain him why you need to get so many things done and why you gotta buy so many skincare and then he has that invisible question mark on his head everytime you go on and on talking about why you need it and all the other beauty details and why you love it ykwim

[dissvicious]

What kinds of activities do Kid/Killer/Nina like to do together and what things do Kid/Nina and Killer/Nina like to do separately? Like what’s “their” special thing? (I.e. chainsaw maintenance with Kid; painting the nursery perhaps with Killer)

💘I love your feral princess 💘

THANKS FRIEND !!! BIG SMOOCHES ON SHEN FROM ME AND NINA ❤️✨

When the three of them are together:

Smoking weed and zoning out on the deck, stargazing and long talks about the future, how life will be when Kid will be the pirate king etc, when pregnant talking about the baby, how they're going to be the most rad little punk of all the grand line

they love board games and TTRPG and it's always a big surprise for everyone to find out. Some new recruit knock on Kid door at midnight and he open dressed as a D&D orc "Oi, do quick we're on a date here" and Heat and Wire have to teach them to never disturb game nights

I like to think they do big cuddle piles and watch movies together on those den den projectors you can see in their base castle. Killer hold Kid under his arm and Nina is lying on their lap, occasionally stealing popcorns from Kid

KidNina

Definitely chainsaw maintenance indeed! Globally they love being around each other when the other one work

Nina like to sit on Kid workbench and toying with small metal pieces while he works, he teached them how to craft small items and she thinks it's very stimmy

On the other hand Kid loves spending time in the infirmary when there's no one around, or looking at her doing stitches on patients

They obviously do each other makeup, Nina help him a lot since he lose his arm, they do their nails and bitch around like two gossip girls 💅✨ Nina insist on giving him skincare routine, bitches don't shower a lot but they SLAY

I like to think they enjoy sewing/ making crafts, DIY or customizing their clothes together. They probably make fanzine, Nina would definitely do linocut and homemade embroided patches

Before her pregnancy they did a shitton of drinking game / truth or dare / stuff like this together

Kid will not admit it even with a gun pointing directly at his balls but: training Zap together and trying to teach him some tricks. Emphasize on trying

Napping together in a hammock on the upper deck and getting their white ass skin burn together ❤️

Kid love teaching Nina how to uses his guns btw. That's one of the rare moments she let him patronize her. Massive ego boost.

KillerNina

Not gonna break the Killer cliché, they like cooking together!

Nina is banned from trying to cook on her own but she's allowed to chop vegetables and hold him ingredients

They play music together too, Nina plays ukulele (Kid like to teases her by saying it's just a guitar adapted to her size) and harmonica . She likes to sing but she's very self conscious and don't do it in front of anyone else than Killer

Taking care of each other, pampering each other, Nina could spend her life just brushing Killer hair looking at the sea.

Globally domesticity and chores together, Nina loves helping Killer when he's on cleaning duty and he just loves having her around cause she has a willingness to help him she don't have with anyone else

Yapper / listener dynamic, they could spend hours where Nina is just talking about bones, comic books, animals, or anything else that passion them and Killer will look at them in awe without getting tired. Kid get bored in two minutes lmao

Weapon cleaning together, Killer sitting on the ground getting his punishers clean, Nina sitting on a barrel next to him whipping the blades of Pussy Slayer in a comfortable silence

KidKiller

Everything man, they're joined by the hip when one of them take a shit the other one is waiting at the door like a cat

Tho I think they love to spare and wrestle together, I think they only trust each other to push their limits and really make some progress. And it's foreplay too

Drinking beer and sharing old memories like an old married couple because that's what they are

[october-nightt]

spoiled (x black reader)

warnings: cussing, mentions of sex at the end, angst but then fluff, hatin' ass ex.

you and jack have been together for almost 6 months now, but it only took him 6 seconds to realize how high maintenance you were.

you loved designer brands and you always kept you hair and nails done so when it was time for you to walk down the red carpet with jack next to you, he knew you wanted to show off.

he was ready to announce yall's relationship and tonight was the big night.

"jack! I need help with my hair, I don't know what to choose" you whined.

jack leaned over your shoulder to look at the options you selected.

" baby you know I love you with your braids, or shit a 30 inch buss down would look good too" she smiled wide.

you frowned.

"fuck you know 'bout a 30 inch buss down?? that wasn't one of the options."

jack laughed and kissed you on your forehead.

"don't get fucked up jack" you said jokingly before booking an appointment to get the wig installed.

"you know I'm fucking with you baby, but it would look great. even tho yo natural hair is my favorite"

he said as he looked in the full body mirror sitting in the corner of the room you and jack shared.

after booking your appointment you slowly walked over to jack and put on your best begging face.

"you know what would go good with my hair?" you asked

"what?

'a new dress and nails, maybe some jewelry and shoes and new makeup!!"

jack turned to look at you.

" you was gon get that anyways mama" he responded.

you hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

"thank you baby"

after that yall finished getting ready in silence.

once you both were ready jack took you shopping. he wasn't worried about the price, he just wanted you to be happy.

but he also secretly wanted everyone to know how fucking fine his girl was.

you starting looking for shoes first, then your dress, and make up, and jewelry.

after shopping it was time for your appointment. jack didn't stay because he had to take care of something but you knew it would take a little while for your hair to get done so you didn't mind.

that was until his ex-girlfriend walked in.

she didn't see you at first but you damn sure seen her.

jack had told you stories about his ex. about how she only cared for herself and money.

you loved nice things but you weren't money hungry.

you decided to mind your business but she finally noticed you and had to start some bs.

" oh my god Y/N. you look beautiful" she leaned in for a hug but you moved away

"aww dont be like that, what? mad because jack was with me last night?"

you didn't believe her, you knew she would lie about anything to start some drama

"bitch please, my man left yo nasty ass long ago" you rolled your eyes.

you didn't have time for this hoe and her bullshit.

but then she pulled out her phone and showed you a picture of jack sitting at her house, and sure enough the time stamp proved it was from yesterday night.

you heart dropped

"just thought you should know" that bitch.. his ex said before walking away.

after your hair was done you immediately called jack

"hey baby, I'm right around the corner ill be there soo-"

"what the fuck were you doing with your ex last night?" you cut him off.

you heard his sigh

"y/n listen I was just over there because she needed me to help move her furniture into her new house"

you let out a spiteful laugh

"oh so when she calls, you go running huh? she's not your girlfriend jackman. I don't give a damn if she needed help she should've called someone else! and the fact that you answered when she calle-..."

you took a deep breath

"I don't wanna talk to you right now, ill find a ride. don't bother picking me up."

and with that you hung up. you felt like jack had you looking dumb. your own boyfriend was with his ex and now she's bragging in your face.

you called your best friend to pick you up and take you back to her house, you didn't wanna see jack.

you get ready at her house. even though you were mad at jack, you refused to let him show up to the red carpet alone.

you took an uber which arrived at the same time as jacks.

"Y/N?" he called out to you.

"can we talk?"

you simply nodded and you both walked somewhere more private.

"look I'm so sorry y/n. you're right, she's not my girlfriend and I shouldn't have picked up her call..shit I should've blocked her the day we got together but baby I cant be without you. she's blocked now and I know that doesn't mean much but I'm begging you to forgive me baby."

you looked up at jack.

"I forgive you jackman."

jack pulled you into a kiss and smiled as his arms wrap tightly around your waist

"now lets go mama, cus you look good as hell and once this is over I'm ripping that expensive ass dress off."

authors note: this is my firs time writing so please be nice! also feel free to leave suggestions on how I can write better or request for what I should write next. I'm not on here all day but I will eventually get back to yall. I will post everyone that I write for soon thank you so much for reading!! <3

[deadgirlwalking91]

oh lmao it’s fine! i’m sry for ruining the surprise tho..istg i didn’t mean to.

u can totally make it up by writing some other kind of scenario if u want to, u can choose whatever u want and i mean it! i love the way u writ you’re fantastic 😭✋

Hey Anon,

Absolutely no issue at all! More than happy to even let some more info slip - it'll be called, 'I Don't Dance' and was inspired by the ask that was sent earlier in the week re Adam and Lute dancing at a club. But! Also more than happy to whip up a little scene, so here you are (and thank you for the compliment, too!). Enjoy! PS - @a-dose-of-comatose gave me the prompt for this because I couldn't think of one, but I've deviated slightly 😂 sorryyyyyy

Touching back down in Heaven after an Extermination was a sensation that Lute would never grow tired of.

Sure, ramming her sword through the throats of the shitbags that littered the streets of Hell was satisfying, and perhaps the gratification she got from seeing their insides splatter against the pavement was a little…much, but nothing beat flying back through that portal and setting foot on Holy land, where she belonged.

Glancing around at the surrounding Exorcists who had congregated in the barracks showers, she sheathed her sword before placing her hands either side of her helmet and lifted it off her head. She tucked it under her arm and ran a wet, blood-soaked hand through her hair, leaving streaks of red in its wake.

“Hey, great job taking down that loan shark today, Lute!” Layla had already stripped down to her underwear and sports bra, uniform dutifully discarded into the giant hamper that housed all their soiled tunics, gloves and leggings. Some poor fucker – usually one of the newer recruits – would be responsible for sorting through and washing them all over the coming days.

“Thanks,” Lute grinned, bumping her fist against Layla’s outstretched one. “Did you see how fucking desperate he was to get away?”

“Yeah, but you took care of that right away!” Cinnamon laughed as she headed towards the shower cubicles. “That sorry cunt never stood a chance against you!”

Cinnamon was right. No Sinner that dared to lock eyes with Lute ever lived to tell the tale. She made damn sure of that.

“How many did you manage this year, Lieutenant?” a short, brunette Exorcist emerging from the showers asked.

“Two hundred and fifty one, Coco. You?”

“A hundred and three, ma’am.”

“Not a bad effort for your second year. Keep it up. You might crack one-fifty next year.”

Lute glanced down at her watch. Five-thirty. The only downside to returning to Heaven after an Extermination meant that her working day wasn’t over; she and Adam were responsible for filling out all the initial report that needed to be submitted to Sera by midnight that same day. She had half an hour before she needed to be back in the office, ready for their debrief.

Or at least, that’s what she told her sisters-in-arms.

Realising she was still holding her helmet, Lute quickly slipped out of the bathroom to return it to the arsenal. Another unlucky Exorcist would be tasked with cleaning and polishing all of them, before another, more tech-savvy soldier would perform yearly maintenance on them.

It was easy enough to find her helmet’s spot in the armoury. It was in prime position to the very left of the doorway, right beside Adam’s. Surprisingly, his was already racked away; normally he’d take it home with him as he wore it most of the time, even outside of Extermination season. She set it down gently.

“How fucking long did you wanna take, bitch?”

Lute screamed and whirled around; despite knowing exactly who that voice belonged to, it didn’t change the fact that it startled her completely. Adam stood, leaning against one of the walls.

“Sir,” she gasped, holding a hand to her bloodied chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Next time, keep your guard up and you won’t have to worry about being scared.” Adam said as he slowly advanced towards her. Lute felt her pulse quicken with each step, until he stopped just short of arms’ reach. She was sure her heart was going to burst through her chest.

“Did anybody follow you here?”

“No,” she breathed, looking up into his face. “They’ve all hit the showers. Nobody suspects a thing. They probably think I’m on my way to do paperwork.”

“Paperwork,” he laughed, snaking a hand around her waist. “Who the fuck does more work after a fucking Extermination?”

“Us, apparently,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to lace her arms around his neck. “I’m not sure if I should be offended that they believe that lie so easily.”

“I’m fucking offended,” Adam said, “you shouldn’t be, considering you love paperwork and all that shit.”

“I do,” Lute agreed, “but there’s only one thing I’m interested in doing post-Extermination.”

“Oh yeah babe, and what’s that? Besides taking a shower, by the way. You fucking reek.”

She smirked and pulled his head down to hers, pausing just long enough so she could whisper, “You”, before kissing him utterly senseless.

[hearts401]

genuinely curious what is the pit dad au is it a good dad william au because I lowkey adore those please ramble about it I love listening to your rambles (if you have the time of course)

OOH pretty much? its a "william is a bad dad but shit happens and he realizes it early enough to fix it, or at least try" au!! plus some other drama ofc

basically william gets springlocked waaaay earlier on than in canon. he has an accident, is alone, and henry finds him too late. while henry is trying to get his body out of the suit, he wakes up and is like oh shit i died.

but he came back and he is ecstatic about that. His plan worked! he's (by all normal standards) immortal! and henry cleans him up and hes springbonnie instead of springtrap. (and of they take wills uhm. corpse out. williams rlly disturbed by it tho. henry finds that funny and they hold a funeral for william and everything and hes just. what.)

except springbon is sentient. bc springbon is my faborite. so williams got a buddy in his head! and springbon can control her own body still if she wants to! and springbon is new to parenting but she reeeeaally loves these kids

will just wants to experiment more with his newfound body and abilities and everything he can do but. without a bodyy... he cant do much off the stage unless he has the ability to walk around off of it without being in suit mode. which comes with needing to charge. and while he would totally just hook himself up to a random plug in his roomm springbon had henry cover them all with the little child proof plugs and will cant get them off bc his robot fingers r too big so if he stays in his room too long, he'll pass out (or just. power down? since hes a robot?)

so he's forced to interact with his family.

but he really does find he enjoys time away from work and his kids are not actually horrible obnoxious idiots like he'd always thoguht of them as (as a mixture of not wanting kids in the first place and being bitter that his wife is dead) and he realizes wow. this isnt so bad. he also bonds a lot more with henry and vanessa (the latter of which was just. his employee. he didnt know her well before but she's fun and helps him with maintenance when henrys busy)

in this au, Michael is 11-12, elizabeth is 7, and evan is 6! so they r pretty young. Michael does have built up resentment towards his father bc of how neglectful and cold he was, and williams like wow! that was shitty of me! mostly bc he sees howspringbonnie interacts with his kids and it vaguely reminds him of his wife. and hes like okay! time to reconcile with my kids! and while evan and liz eventually r like yeah this is cool mike is not. hes very hesitant to trust his father and doesnt liek him!!! grrr!!!! but william really wants to try!!!! try he will dammit!!!

on top of that will DID make the funtimes with the intent of experimenting with remnant but pitdad will is a wuss! he didnt make them to kill kids. he just knew remnant involved death and they were made properly to contain it, but not collect it. so basically he made machines to harvest souls without the harvesting part and jsut the souls. those blueprints and that research is concerning enough on its own tho... lets just say he wasnt on a great path and likely would've done bad things like in canon if he'd been left to his own devices. curiosity mixed with grief is a bitch and so is william afton

but the funtimes ARE sentient, and they know what they were made to do. at least circus baby does and she goes and tells everyone and they decide "yeah this place sucks lets just merge together and find a skinsuit" and that skinsuit was MEANT to be william but he. yk. has no skin anymore. his oldest son must be the second best thing, right?

also also also the missing kids are in fact missing! for other reasons tho heheheh

extra note but because of how remnant works william is TERRIFIED of fire. hes scared it'll split his soul from springbonnie so he's rllyyyy scared of fire and stuff!!!

i think thats all? thats all i can think of i could probably answer more specific questions tho this is the gist!!!! im glad u love my sillyguys and rambles ueueue

[rubra-wav]

I really hope that people get that even tho he's a pathetic whiny bitch (affectionate) who's absolutely desperate for attention - especially attention of a genuinely romantic long-term supportive nature, Vox is still not a good person and I hope I'm not portraying him too much as such in my work. 😭

While the above is true, he will still exploit, lie, and cheat anything and everything if it gives him personal gain in some way.

He's everything that's awful about capitalism personified. He's an enabler for Val (and is literally jealous of the person he ABUSES). He definitely abuses his work staff, and he absolutely reeks of unregulated maladaptive traits and internalised bullshit, etc. Etc.

Idk man. I feel like in my work, I haven't shown it enough, but I wanna keep things as accurate as possible. When part 2 of Snap comes out, I'm definitely gonna be showing that a bit more in that lmao (yeah I'll say it, it's gonna be fuckin infuriating for most of it rip.)

I've seen people portraying him like an angel in fanfic, and it bothers me because he's straight-up scum even though I absolutely love him.

Compared to what Val has got going on he's a lot better, but he's still an absolute cunt and I see so many people forgetting that lmao. He's not an innocent baby in a bad relationship, he's an evil cunt in a bad relationship (AND his hands are certainly not clean in that either. He's also a bastard too - just to a much less noticeable extent)

If reader ever actually dated this man, they would find the most high maintenance asshole on earth who would need to be taught basic respect and boundaries from scratch and taught real consequences for his actions AND hed probably actively be fighting doing that as well. (There's a post i have planned about what it would be like actually dating him that will go into that more)

ANYWHO, he is not some innocent baby in need of protecting who would suddenly forego all of his bad behaviours at once, he'd need a fuckton of checking, behaviour management, etc or he'd be a horrendous asshole to be with.

[dandydanthelion]

Hii i love your apprentices :00 can you tell me more about them if you don't mind? Or link me to somewhere where you've talked about them ? :]

oh god i am not good at writing but i'll try my best

i have 3 apprentices and not all of them are equally fleshed out and the ref sheets are old, sorry about that

First up is Zaire! i use him mainly for julian's route (and muriel too sometimes). he grew up as the eldest brother to his 3 siblings. he was the golden child and he never really grew out of his need to be "perfect" and great at everything. so he sometimes overwork himself. his father is a magician, mainly uses his magic in culinary (like mazelinka), and thats where zaire learned his magic from. his mother was a merchant and both of his parents weren't home for much so zaire had to take care of his siblings. and that made him a great cook and an even better caretaker.

he has a journal and has a beautiful way with words so he occasionally write poems here and there. his sense of fashion is anything that is black gold and red, refuses to wear other than those colors. hes quite high maintenance and spends way too much money hoarding jewelleries.

for his overall personality, he could be quite the intimidating one at first glance because he has a resting bitch face but he's actually pretty good at socializing and he's pretty charming once you actually get to talk to him. once you know him well enough, you'll find out that he can be snarky and smug. hes pretty confident in what he does and how he carries himself.

like asra, he mainly uses water magic. his fursona is a wolf (the Alexander archipelago wolf to be exact) and his familiar is a flying fox. this is not in his reference sheet but hes an ENFJ.

heres a lil bonus design i made for julian's reversed ending

next up is Aries!

TW: mentions of SA and abuse!!! (in the indented paragraph)

they were actually my first apprentice back in 2020 and i originally used them for julian's route. tho i basically changed their whole personality from their 2020 version. i love to switch up my apprentices for different routes but aries is mainly for lucio's route for now.

in my previous post of their dynamic with lucio, as much as a shitpost that was, its still pretty much accurate for their personality. they can be quite dense but yk thats okay. they're optimistic and easy-going. everyone assumes theyre a cinnamon roll and could never do anything wrong but theyre that knife cat meme. kinda like asra but more chaotic and just a lil morally grey (be gay do crime). also theyre unhinged when theyre seriously pissed off.

now im gonna talk about heavier topics (that i mentioned in the tw) in this next paragraph.

growing up, they didnt really have the best childhood. when they were a child, they had to witness their adoptive parents fight and it was because of their mother. in their previous life, they had a (supposedly) romantic relationship but their (ex) boyfriend was abusive and aries had a hard time learning that those abusive behaviors werent normal (they did grew up with a mother who was an abusive wife). unfortunately, those abuse led up to SA and much worse.

even in those first 3 years after being resurrected and them not having their memories from their previous life, traces of their insecurities that were caused by their past can still be seen.

they were originally a gardener that also sold their plants, and one magic plant after another is what got them interested in magic. though their magic is actually fire related. their hobby is tailoring and they actually embroidered the flower pattern on their white shirt.

i didn't write it on the ref sheet, but i do intend on making them arospec! lucio (or any other m6, depending on the route u choose) is actually their first love.

their fursona is a rabbit (the lop rabbit to be exact) and their familiar is a draco aka the flying lizard.

i havent drawn their Lucio's upright ending design and their devil design yet but i'll do it... eventually.

and lastly, is dahlia!

now im so sorry for this but i dont use her that often (you can probably tell) because lucio refuses to leave my head and julian doesnt know how to get out so they're both stuck there. i use her for asra, nadia, and portia's route.

i havent really thought much about its bg story but anw here's what i got

out of the three apprentices, dahlia had the best childhood. it used to travel a lot in its early 20s, occasionally performing in taverns. she plays the lute and has a low and beautiful, warm voice which she only uses sometimes because shes shy. she doesnt perform in her first 3 years after being resurrected because of her social anxiety which the whole resurrection and amnesia thing dont help.

it is very smart and quick-witted but oblivious social cues. she keeps accidentally getting herself into trouble which she has no struggle getting out of. in her previous life, she got interested with magic from all of the magicians she met during her travels then she ended up dating one but thats another story. her magic is mainly water related.

her middle name means "full moon" and her moon earrings actually match up with the current phase of the moon. she doesn't really know how to... fashion so she just tends to wear a lot of black. its quite messy and unorganized so basically that combined with asra's messiness is just not good. overall shes very sweet, quite reserved, so easy to fluster gal. shes gremlin coded but has the opposite personality of a gremlin.

i didnt put its mbti there, but its an INFP. both her fursona and her familiar is a rat.

okay i think im done, i hope this isnt too much but

@sasha-is-annoying, tysm for the ask!!

[faunabel]

I look older with shorter hair too, it drives me crazy cuz ppl are ma'am now rather than sweetheart like...I wanna hide (I miss my long hair but it was a bitch to take care of..)

i forget what post of mine u were referencing so sorry if i'm repeating myself but i LIKE IT. i have such a baby face it makes me depressed :( i've always had a baby face but since i gained weight in 2021 due to the whole Situation, it's even baby-face-er than ever! :( probably would be better now that i'm older but my cheeks r too chubby rn to be able to tell,,,,, so any chance i have to look older i will happily take. i wanna be attractive not just cute :(((( ig some part of my brain associates shoulder length hair w/ like, millennial women.

i'm sure ur still very cute even if u look older <33 and if ur so cute there's no need to hide ur cute face <33 i know they cost Money but wigs are always an option if u miss long hair but don't want to deal with the maintenance? ooh or extensions!!! cheaper and probably even less maintenance (i wouldn't know tho tbh). i wish u luck figuring it out! :3

[batb1tch]

I fucking missed his birthday but here’s a belated list of Bruce Wayne headcanons no one asked for 🫡

He’s a walking thesaurus

Begrudgingly takes the time to do general maintenance on the kids vehicles but they know it’s how he shows fatherly love

Genuinely disgruntled/confused by social media culture & language

— “Duke, what does -squints at iPhone screen- thotiana mean?”

“……im not qualified for this”

History buff. Loves the history channel & discovery channel. gets hurt on patrol & just vegges for 8+ hrs. when the painkillers kick in he starts scrutinizing & correcting the narrators. Loudly criticizes naked & afraid. Whole fam finds him unbearable (jay is the same way tho)

Enjoys rlly spicy food. Like shit that should be inedible. Prob from years of inhaling toxic gases & fumes. as embarrassing as it may be he doesn’t have much of a palette anymore. Only way to find out if something’s poisonous is the consistency/density & how it sits on his tongue.

— “clark, dare me to eat this pepper?”

“we’re literally on a different planet that thing could kill you bruce”

“I’ll take my chances”

—turns purple or something—

Total geek on vacations or nature walks, points out every creature it’s Greek name, genus, the whole shebang. Loves fossils and seashells can tell you time period of rocks & what type they are. Same with trees.

100% would blow shit up in the bat cave for “scientific research purposes”

— “it’s for the greater good Alfred”

“even the bottle rockets sir?”

“Especially the bottle rockets”

Really fucking hates the cold. Broken bones & scars ache like a bitch in rainy/snowy cold weather.

Hates taking medicine/cough syrup like a giant baby. Alfred has resorted to hiding pills & sedatives in all kinds of creative ways. Stephanie is surprisingly good at baking them into her “special” cupcakes.

wears those horrible Hawaiian shirts and slacks every time the fam goes on vacation. Looks like a walking pattern violation.

as opposite of a morning person as you could get. drinks his coffee black & cant function until he’s finished at least a cup. The longer he sleeps the longer it takes him to recover when he gets up. Pours orange juice into his cereal & that kind of shit. Most of the kids know better & leave him alone to his morning paper but Steph knows it’s the best time to get what she wants so she’ll hassle him relentlessly at the breakfast table. Morning stubble always makes a cameo

Fucking terrible at most video games. The WORST at 1st person shooters. Does enjoy racing & building games (& Skyrim for some reason)

Really good at crossword puzzles & fills them out in the newspaper when he gets the chance.

Truly is the turtleneck king (you lose a lot of heat in the neck)

Has horrible handwriting for someone who grew up with a top tier education. Drives his secretary nuts.

Has like 5 cellphones, very plug of him. nobody understands how he manages to keep track of everything. the one he uses as bruce to contact the kids is an 02 NOKIA that’s probably been to the moon and back (literally)

Very affectionate towards Alfred the cat it’s definitely that ‘dad who vehemently denies the pet/doesn’t want it & then becomes inseparable with it’ type of relationship. He may or may not sneak him friskies much to Damian’s chagrin.

—*tsk* “he’ll become obese father its irresponsible of you”

“ill feed this cat until he has to roll through my house thanks”

Has one of those fancy watches with like 1000 functions thanks to tim. It’s bulky and black looks like some sort of military electronic.

His kids call him inspector gadget.

Wears blankets around his shoulders like the cape/cowl when he’s sick.

Most certainly keeps track of and studies the colony in the cave. The kids have a theory that he has trackers and mics attached to the bats for snooping purposes. (He doesn’t but he’s not telling them that)

Has a collection of crazy socks, ties, and cuff links (mostly from tim & steph) that he wears to work when he’s feeling worn out. They are all hideous and Alfred tells him so but just a glance at some putrid yellow cotton & he already feels better.

Enjoys going to classic car shows with the kids and Alfred. everyone has an opinion if he’s made a new purchase, he pouts if the consensus is bad

Singe-handedly funded the 24/7 food truck services/entrepreneur program for the entirety of Gotham after getting his ass kicked by killer croc one night & by the grace of god & the pity of a concerned man running a taco truck was given the best meal he’s ever tasted in his life. Jay was very on board when he heard about it & actually the entire team is pretty grateful to be able to grab something delicious on the go all hours of the night

Likes to swim and going to the beach in general. One of his favorite things to do with Clark is deep sea fishing — dad shorts baseball cap and socks with sandals kind of fishing.

Contrary to his stony persona, the mans a crier. Cries when he’s sad, cries when he’s happy, cries when he yawns, cries when he laughs, cries when he’s sick, etc. etc. Sometimes tears come out when he’s upside down, he’s just got very active tear ducts 😪

Definitely has a photo of every kid in his wallet, most of them are blurry and cropped weird cause he cut them out himself but all of them are of the kids smiling or laughing. He looks at them all the time to the point that they’re worn down and faded different colors.

Has severe manic & depressive episodes. PTSD as well.

He’s ambidextrous but primarily left handed

[enriquemzn262]

Military corruption in India: Kumar, we are replacing you with every male in my extended family.

Military corruption in Russia: What if, instead of rations, Italian villa ?

Military corruption in America: This is a new state of the art weapon designed to counter 4th generation fighter jets. (marks it up 5000 percent)

Mark up? The F-35 now costs as much as the much less capable Rafale.

Maintenance costs are a bitch tho.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/22/22

yes of COURSE there is a cat update

listening

this portion sponsored once again by my sister, who keeps sending me tiktoks with good background music. this is Tezeta (Nostalgia) by Mulatu Astatke off the 1998 release Ethiopiques, Vol. 4 : Ethio Jazz & Musique Instrumentale (1969-1974). super mellow and comforting, very closely tied with the other one i’ll drop below for my favorite off this album.

there are thirty of these volumes btw. very good to listen to while i work. the lead track off this fourth album, Yèkèrmo Sèw (A Man of Experience and Wisdom) sounds very like much, much later group The Black Keys for the first few seconds. in the cool-toned guitar and the reverb. in the production i guess? like sure there’s a discussion to be had about where jazz and blues and rock overlap and how much, but it did startle my brain. i don’t have music words in my brain, just some math words

-

reading

fallow week. have some mack: right on the fucking tit/fruit bat hours.

she's started doing this thing where she rubs BOTH sides of her gums along my hand when i drape it off the couch. i would like to think this is the cat version of a kiss on both cheeks

-

watching

look i tried really hard to rewatch Goncharov (1973, dir. Scorsese) but my cat wouldn't let me. like of COURSE ive seen it before, i have a dad who was home on federal holidays and watched scorsese marathons on spike tv. fun fact i didn't know there was a bisexual threesome or cucking involved until i watched it for a college film class on villains, bc of course that was not shown on american daytime marathon television!

anyway. my cat. we have watched so many spaghetti westerns together. much gunfire. several gatling guns. i don't know what it is about the Guncharov that woke her up out of a deep sleep and had her fleeing from the room. like okay, it was a partially handmade (the stock is from the actor's mother's wedding chest) AK-47 made specially for this film, further underscoring how time has passed goncharov by and the gas operation subtly foreshadowing the later flashback of the mustard gas in the tunnel attack, but i don't think that should have affected the relative loudness of the Guncharov, and i think the gatling gun in A Bullet For The General (which we rewatched last week) was MUCH louder. my cat is too interested in headphone cords, and i'm trying to teach her that cords are boring and uninteresting and extremely not for cats, and i didn't really have the heart to finish the movie on mute with subtitles still up. the lovely score is so integral to all the sofya scenes.

-

playing

i have never played a pokemon. i have been bullied into horking up sixty three american dollars, or just barely under three hours of post-tax work. i am having an all right time so far but my best friend and her husband are so fucking thrilled we finally have 1) a game in common and 2) a game we can play together. sixty three american dollars is a pretty small friendship maintenance price in the grand scheme of things and it's not like it's really going to make an impact in my overall debt HA HA.

this game has also given me personally a great many gifts in the form of SO many buff women just floating about.

why are so many pokemon Just Guys? a worrying number of bipedal twinks i can keep in a box. anyway look how cute i look!!! yes i named my starter after my cat. i am legally obliged to do so.

i wanted red hair to go with the school uniform bc at my heart i am a weak and vain woman. where the fuck does a bitch get new shirts and pants instead of just new accessories tho

-

making

now when i flipped this frame over to the right side at goodwill, i fully expected there to be a pic of jfk. instead it was jesus, and now it has thigh high johnny cash. ty @dvar-trek for the excellent suggestion.

this is the worst framing and matting job i’ve ever done using my favorite trick of “flip the art already in there around for a double mat" but it just needed to stay together long enough for a gif. every time I moved the cord the light flickered on and off independently of the switch in the cord so we will be replacing that. probably repainting it too.

[bizarremachinist]

MAKE, IT, COOK!

(Kiln repair)

Ended up doing a little maintenance on a kiln. The bricks had been so worn down at the top that ceramics placed too close to the top front were getting a draft, and weren't getting fully cooked. Lucky there was an organ donor nearby

They aren't the most complex machines in the world. It's not much different from a lightbulb on a timer, with a lot of insulation. The heating elements connect to relays, and the controller opens and closes the relays based on how fast you want to reach a temperature

These things are built in layers and can be ripped apart like a wedding cake. To retain the bricks, they just kinda sit there, and a stainless steel sheet is wrapped around with a hose clamp welded at the seam to tighten it. There's then 2 clamps to lock it to the other segments, and it's arranged to have 1 heating element per segment

To spiff it up, I put the bottom layer of the donor as the top layer, but used the steel sheet from the original to avoid unscrewing the hindge brackets from it. I had a feeling if those hindge screws came out, they were never going back in strong enough to resist that honker chonk of a spring. That thing is eager to kill someone

The lid from the donor was also taken by just unloading the spring and removing a spring cotter pin for a dowel

It actually decided to be a bitch when connecting the elements back to the controller, and kept cracking. It was a hell of a lot more brittle at room temperature than I thought (Tho if it's nichrome, I guess neither the nickle OR chromium does its malleability any favors). Anyways, a quick hit from a propane torch got the wire nice and bendy at red hot temps. (I didn't use a Bic™ lighter to bend it.... Well I did, but then I got a propane torch out, because fuck that) It's kinda important to double up on the wire at the terminals, so the terminal doesn't get melting temperatures hot

She cooks perfectly now and knocked the firing time from over 10 hours to 7 🔥

[linaselandbasil]

Ooookay, since I had to archive lock all my works on ao3 I realized that a lot of you wouldn't be able to read Sneaky Date Night without my kinda annoying commentary, so here it is:

@slowiedrakie hey bestie~

Sneaky Date Night-uncursed version

Lance/unspecified female self insert, tw for alcohol and sex I guess, they use protection tho.

The full moon cast a pale veil of ghostly light over the night and a cold breeze caressed her skin as she leaned out of her window. It's the middle of the night and she's bored as could be.

This is one of many occasions when she simply cannot sleep. Theres not much to do aside from looking out of her head like there's noone home but the lights are on.

She sighed, maybe she should go for a walk... She stood up and went to put on socks and shoes, then she gave it a second thought and decided to wear a sweater too.

She went to close her windows but at the last minute someone pushed it open and jumped in.

"Hey bitch." Lance said. "Awake at this hour? And I thought I would get to wake you up myself."

She sighed. "Good evening to you too."

He came closer, inspecting her from behind his mask as he circled around her like a wolf. "Going somewhere?" He stopped behind her, putting his arms on her shoulders.

Despite the darkness of her room, she could see just enough of him in the mirror in front of them. The mask didn't take from his charm, not even a little.

"I can't sleep, thought I would go for a walk."

"In that? I love your confidence." She pushed his hands off and turned around to glare at him. "So where are we going?"

She chuckled, she can't believe this dude. "You can't just invite yourself!" She sat on her bed and looked at him. "It's not like you can just walk around with me like you're a normal person."

"Trust me, I'm so good at hiding that noone will know I'm even there. Not even you bitch!" He sat next to her and got comfortable.

"That's weird."

"Could be weirder. So where are we going?"

"Cherry tree, maybe?"

He scoffed. "Boring! Let's go to the archives!" He got up and threw her over his shoulder. She hit his back a couple of times, trying not to wake her neighbors with her laughter.

Lance, like the gentleman he was, gave her a little warning to close her mouth before jumping out the window. Regardless of that, she screamed in fear.

"Shh!" He said, putting her on her feet. "You don't wanna get caught with me, do you?"

She had a pitiable expression. "Sorry."

"Hmm." He took her by the hand and started walking on the maintenance trail. It's for the gardeners. "Ever been to my super secret private enterance?"

"I don't think I did!" She smiled softly, he can't see it because he's looking at where he's going, but he can hear it in her voice. "Do you take all your dates there?"

"Yes."

"And I thought I was special. You're such a Heartbreaker!" He laughed.

"You know, everyone is special in their own way, so really none of us are. It cancels out." He abruptly stopped on a very uninteresting point in the trail next to a tree and looked up.

"What is it?"

"We're here, I'm just trying to figure out how to get you in there." He pointed at a window several meters above the ground. "Don't worry darling, I've got this."

He swept her off her feet and climbed the tree. She's not pleased, but she'll take it.

He set her down on a branch and jumped over to open the window. How he did it is a mystery to her. He's got magic fingers for sure.

The window silently opened, like he sneakily greased the hinges to make his job easier. He turned around, grabbed her and pulled her in like a sack of salt. She yelped, but she wasn't even hurt.

"What a gentleman you are, throwing me around like I'm-" He covered her mouth with his hand, the smell of his tinted leather glove is so nice.

"Shhh, don't speak." He whispered. After a few seconds he removed his hand. "Or at least keep it low."

"Sorry."

He closed the window with one hand, not looking away. She blushed under his piercing gaze, because I just remembered that I was supposed to be building up to something.

"Wh-whats this place?" She looked around at the shelves. The moonlight bathed the room in a ghostly glow.

"The archives, dumbass." He put his hand on her waist and pushed her back against one of the shelves.

She felt like she was burning up. He ominously chuckled at her as her brain melted into a horny mush and left her to do what he came here for.

To fuck shit up.

He took a couple of scrolls and put them back in the wrong place, completely ruining the alphabetical order they were arranged in. He literally pulled a drawer out completely and swapped it with a different one. He took the books off and put them back with their spine facing inwards. That was noone will instantly know which one they need.

He's a fucking menace, I would not want to be his enemy.

She just looked at him as he worked like an artist, watching him walk all over the tile floor without making a sound. She didn't dare move from where he left her. Noisy shoes, y'know.

He spotted a calendar on the wall and took a pencil from the pencil mug to write IMPORTANT! DONT FORGET! into a day several month away from now. He probably had a cheeky grin on his face too.

He threw the pencil behind him and put his hand on his hips to inspect his work as it rolled away into the dark abyss.

"Okay I'm finished, we can go."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Did you seriously come here to do that?" She asked, hands covering her mouth to conceal her smile.

"Hey, this is important work! Who else is gonna do this? Fucking nobody!" They both laughed, trying to keep it as quiet as possible. "Let's go darling."

He helped her jump out and closed the window. You would never be able to tell that anyone broke in through there.

"Cherry tree?"

"You just can't get enough of me, can you sweetheart? Alright, let's go." She gladly held onto his arm and walked back on the trail with him.

They walked past her still open window and sadly, they had to let go of each other because she didn't want to sneak around in the bushes. She has walkway privileges and she's not afraid to use them.

She comfortably sat down on a bench as her outlaw acquaintance laid down in a flowerbed. The big round leaves camouflaged him surprisingly well.

"So, you still dating him?" Lance asked. There's no better occasion for getting to know each other than a spontaneous late night outing. I would know it, it's my favorite time to make my friends cry about things they didn't even know they were sad about.

"I never broke up with him, but I think we're pretty much over. I haven't talked to him since."

"Alright... Good."

"Good? Why do you care?" She turned around and looked at him. He's barely more than a dark patch in the dim moonlit night.

"You deserve better."

"...Why did you come into my room anyway?" She hugged herself a little tighter, it's cold.

"To see you, obviously. With the way the guard treats you, every night could be my last chance for it."

"Wow, you care about me that much? I'm flattered." He laughed a little. Voice deep and raspy, he's so lovely. Every taste of him that she can get is sweeter than the last.

Ugh, she's pathetic. He literally just laughed and she's horny... Foreshadowing? What do you mean I'm foreshadowing? What is even foreshadowing? I'm not foreshad-

She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them. They staid quiet for a while.

The crickets, some nocturnal animals, the breeze, the footsteps of patrolling guards. It's a peaceful night.

"I'm bored." She said.

"Fuckin' told you it would be." He stood up, dusting himself off. "I know a place, let's go get drunk!" He took her by her hands and pulled her up. He went back to sneaking in the bushes as she walked on the pavement like a normal person would.

The place turned out to be the pantry in HQ.

He told her to wait outside in the music garden -or whatever it's called, I hate that frikin place- as he scaled the wall and climbed in through a window that looked about two sizes too small. It worked though. He came out with a bottle of wine, holding it one hand and climbing off like he's a frikin spider.

"Won't they notice it missing? It's going to be very suspicious if a bottle of wine gets stolen and I wake up hungover the next day. "

"Don't worry, I came and hid it like two weeks ago." He said, gently caressing her face. "Maybe I was planning to take you out for a while."

She got closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking into the rich red eyes of his mask. "How romantic."

"So, your place or mine? I have some cookies hidden somewhere near your room, if you're hungry." He put his free arm around her waist.

"Mine, I want cookies! it's probably a lot closer!"

He chuckled. "You just can't wait, can you?"

They went back towards her room, luckily there weren't any guards there at the time so this literal felon just marched in like he owned the place. As they walked down the hall of guards Lance suddenly left her side to hide behind a pillar and before she could even ask what this was for, Nevra appeared in front of her. He walks as quietly as a cat. Lance hates that about him, even if he literally does the same exact thing.

"Hey." He looked at her, unsure of what to say.

"Hey..." She wasn't very happy about seeing him. This is the first time they've been eye to eye since the potion incident.

"Why are you awake this late at night?" He asked.

"Why does it matter to you?" She crossed her arms.

"I just... I know you're still mad at me, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about you. It can be dangerous at night."

"Well, rest assured, I'm not in any sort of danger."

He walked past her, but he turned back after a few steps.

"What were you doing anyway? You have work tomorrow!"

"I was on a date, if you must know it so badly!" She said, nearly yelling in anger. He looked surprised, maybe a little offended that he'd be left behind so fast, like a bump in the road.

"A-alright.. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She walked away with an angry expression on her face. Lance appeared behind her, manifesting from thin air as it appeared to her. "You almost scared me so much I screamed!" She whispered and gently hit him in the arm.

"That's not so surprising, since you are in so much danger right now! At any moment a horrible criminal could grab you-" He wrapped his free arm around her neck. "And eat you whole." She giggled, taking her keys out.

He let her go to open her door. Soon as they were in, he put the bottle on her desk and took his mask off.

"So like... Is this a date?" She asked.

The first time she saw his face tonight was just timed correctly that he had the purest, most genuine look of 'are you fucking serious?' expression.

"Yeah, it is. If you want it to be... I assume you do." He put his mask on the table and began undoing his shoulderguards.

"I do." She sat on her bed and observed as he removed his armor.

"I got the cookies while you were talking to Nevra. It was fun to look at him when you told him that you went on a date!" He threw a paper baggie on the bed. He picked the bottle up and pulled the cork out with his teeth.

"I don't have any glasses I'm afraid." He sat down besides her.

"Who needs glasses? Cut out the middle man!" He put an arm around her. "Ladies first~"

"What a gentleman!" She accepted the bottle and took a small sip. "Wow... uh. It's... it's alcohol."

He laughed, taking the bottle. "Not a big drinker, are you sweetheart?" He took a significantly bigger sip.

"Not really. I don't really see why people find it fun."

"Yet, here you are." She leaned into his side, sighing.

"This is a special occasion... And you worked hard to steal this fine bottle of wine, just for me, I wouldn't want to let you down like that!" They laughed. "Where are the cookies?"

"Here." He gave her the baggie and she wiggled her legs in excitement as she opened it up.

In an hour or so, the cookies were all gone and the bottle got corked back up for now. Lance didn't know how low her alcohol tolerance would be and for once in his entire life he decided not to take a risk.

She took her sweater a while ago. She felt hot. Was it the wine, or was it the man in her bed kissing her shoulder and singing her praises? We might never find out.

She kicked her boots off and gave Lance her best bedroom eyes. "Will this horrible criminal come to take me oooor?" He didn't need to be told twice. He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her. "I'm not made of sugar."

"Oh I know." He grabbed her by her neck and pushed her down to the bed. "Sorry for trying to be nice. Maybe you just like assholes and that's why you let me be around you."

"Hehe, maybe~ Ah!!" He bit her ear. "Oh no! I'm being eaten! Someone save me from this horrible man!" She giggled as he kissed her neck. "Wait, we should keep quiet. The walls are thin here."

"I'm not trying to please anyone outside of this room, love." He said it in a low voice.

"My neighbor likes to gossip you know... I just do don't want to be the talk of the town."

"Ah, I see. As you wish." He straightened up and took his shirt off. "Your turn." She smiled at him and wiggled out of all of her clothes except for her socks and panties. "Isssthiiis why they call it liquid courage?" She asked, purposefully falling into his arms.

"Pretty much."

"Why are you clothed, my dear?" She asked twirling her hair. (Im sorry for all of you bald besties, I'm trying keep her as nondescript as possible but we gotta have the hair twirl)

"I have my hands full with you." He pushed her off his lap, letting her roll on her mattress. He stood up and unbuttoned his pants. Before he pushed them down he glanced at his date.

Naturally, she was gawking.

"Wanna do the honors?"

"Nah, I'm good. I'm fine with you doing most of the work." She propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him with half closed eyes.

"You little- I took you out, I fed you cookies, I got you drunk, wasn't this enough?" He laughed and playfully shoved her legs, since that was the closest to him.

"Hehehe, noooo! Evil man is being meeeaan!" She pulled his head closer and kissed him. He pushed his pants down, kicking them to to the side. "Yaaaaaaay, pebiiiiiis!" She screamed really quietly.

"Pebis." He repeated, pulling her closer to the edge of the bed then kneeling down.

"Shut uuup!" She was laughing really hard and trying to stay quiet, whatever had her in such a funny mood, Lance was thankful for it, since this could have been a lot more awkward.

"Don't worry I plan on using my mouth for something more fun." He said before kissing her navel.

"You're mM..mmM.making me blush! Ah!" He bit her on her thigh, she hit him on his head for it.

"Shhh, stay quiet!" He went right back to work, putting her thighs on his shoulders and kissing the spot he just bit.

"Isss not like I'm not trying." His fingers dipped into the soft fatty flesh, holding onto her so he would stay grounded despite how drunken with wine and desire he is. He cannot fuck this up, he's supposed to be a gentleman now.... Ignore his earlier behavior.

He looked at her as he slid his fingers under her panties. She cannot help but feel like she was that window he opened earlier, she laughed and covered her face because that's so funny and she's so tipsy. Lance couldn't help but laugh too.

"What are you laughing about??" She asked.

"I'm laughing because you're laughing! Stop!" He used this as an opportunity to move a little further from her and fully pulled her panties off. If she's laughing she can't be embarrassed.

"Sorry!"

"It's fine." Her fingers found their way into his hair and scratched his scalp in the most seductive manner.

He kissed her where her thigh met her hips. "I'm a little nervous. Don't stop though! I'm just saying!" He chuckled, bringing one of his hands closer to her.

"Ah~" She pulled on his hair.

"You alright?" He asked with an absolutely despicable grin on his face as he kept on gently rubbing the skin on the clitoral hood.

"I-I'm alright!" She said with a death grip on his hair. It hurt but he's very much into it.

"Not too sensitive?" He asked with a playful tone, moving his thumb to the clit.

She gasped. "A little..."

"But you're enjoying it, right?" He pressed down, gently of course. He's not a barbarian.

"I'm going to beat you up."

"Ma'am, you are the size of my thumb."

"Didn't you say you would use your mouth for something else?"

"You're so right, I did say that." He removed his finger and licked it clean. He put her thighs back on his shoulder and gave her a little kiss on her thigh.

"You've never even kissed my mouth that many times."

"Stop complaining." He went back and licked the clit and she felt one of his beautiful hands caress her side. He's not doing much, but she's still a little sensitive.

She's getting used to it though, he can tell because her grip on his hair is gradually getting less painful. Her legs wrapped around his neck when he began lightly sucking on it.

If he could, he would probably make a comment about the noises she's making right now. And she wanted to keep quiet. How funny.

He pulled his hand down from her hip bone, making her get goosebumps all over. He lifted his head up and looked at her, putting two fingers into his mouth.

"Little loud, aren't you." With feather light strokes, he began working a finger into her.

"I- I'm. Yo- uuhhh." He smirked. The bastard was very happy with his work.....

"Didn't you say that we should be quiet?" He asked like he's not the one fingering her.

It's quite apparent that he was planning this date, since he's freshly shaven and his nails are all filled down.

"Asshole!" He chuckled and went back to using his mouth for something that she didn't find annoying. He went slower this time, because he just has to be a little mean in some way. The tease. "Y'know, you could go a little harder~"

He looked at her, she looked at him.

"Don't make me regret saying that." She said with laboured breathing. He raised his brows, inching his hand closer.

She grabbed a pillow and hugged it on her chest so she doesn't have to see his infuriatingly satisfied expression. Ugh, he's so annoying. But he's so good with his tounge. She was trying to not wake her neighbors up, but her care to do so was diminishing by the second.

"You, come here." She said after a short moment. He looked at her, puzzled. "Yeah, you." She reached down and pulled him closer by the hair. He immediately went for a sweet kiss. "Put it in, studmuffin." She spread her legs under him.

They broke out in hysterical laughter, barely keeping the noise under control. Her eyes teared up and she could barely see him in the moonlit room. He was holding his face in his hands, looking like he was in pain. Well, he was, in a way.

"Studmuffin?"

"Are you going to fuck me or not?"

"You need help, you're feral." He climbed off the bed and went to get his pants. She turned on her stomach and looked at his nicely sculpted everything as he bent over to pick it up.

"Oh yeah? Well, you need to go to jail too, you're the most jailworthy person I know. It's like we were made for each other!" He pulled something out of his back pocket. "Whass that?"

"My cigarettes." He opened the little metal box and pulled two condoms out. "Choose one."

She took the left one. "You smoke? I didn't know I was on a date with a bad boy~"

"Get over yourself." He put the box next to the wine. "Gimme." He opened it up.

"Yaay! Peebiiiis!" She grabbed her pillow and screamed into it with overflowing excitement.

"You're going to wake the whole HQ up."

"Peeebiis!..." She whisper screamed less loudly. "Could you open the bottle?" She went to grab it from the nightstand while he put the catsuit on the snake.

"You sure? You seem drunk enough... You still have socks on." She looked down and whispered 'shit' before getting them off.

"Ugh, okay." She climbed into his lap. "Alright, let's do this before i run out of courage." He put his arms around her and they kissed. The light breeze made the curtains dance and blew a chill into the room. They don't feel cold at all though.

Their hands vandered over each other, leaving phantom burns on their skin. When they were completely covered by these loving brands, they wordlessly agreed that it was time.

"You do it." She said.

"Hmm?"

"I'm lazy, I don't want to be on top." He pushed her over, he's a little rough. He's not selfish when he warms a bed, but he has an appetite still. It's not like she minds being tossed around like a toy, it kind of feels like an amusement ride.

He interlocked their fingers and began moving. He's barely thinking at this point, but the last bit of his mind he loses is the one that cares about how she feels, so he's not breaking the bed exactly.

There's nowhere to hide from his piercing gaze, she cannot cover her mouth to keep the moans from escaping. "Faster." She asked, whispering in an almost questioning tone. Like she didn't know if she really wanted or needed it... Or if he would listen.

Well, he did, making the bed whine and creak under them. "Didn't you want to keep it low?" He moved his hand to cover her mouth, she got a lot louder with the change of pace. Her now free right hand went to grip his wrist.

"Hm-hmm!" Her legs wrapped around him, holding on as hard as she could. She was a little dizzy and drunk. He groaned and slowed down.

He slowed down even more, moving his hand to her throat.

"Oh, that's kinky."

He smirked at her, she pulled him down for a kiss before continuing. He went harder, he's a bit deranged at this point. Every time she got a bit too noisy for his liking, he tightened his grip on her throat. It solved the 'problem'.

At one point her other hand was freed from his unyielding hold and she reached down to help out with the task of pleasing herself. The other one was on his shoulder, her fingers are hurting from holding on so hard.

He was methodical in his ways, as he always is. It didn't take long to get her where she wanted to be. He followed soon after.

They staid there for a few seconds, catching their breath. He let go of her neck and laid down next to her.

"Thrash bin?"

"Whu..?"

"Nevermind I see it." He threw the condom away and got a tissue from the desk. She keeps them around because she cries all the time.

"Ew."

"What, it wasn't disgusting when it was inside you just a few seconds ago?" He laid down next to her, she immediately threw her leg over him so he wouldn't try to escape.

"We should do this more."

"Alright. But next time we go somewhere without neighbors. Wanna make you scream."

"Alright... I need to pee. I'll be right back." She got up and went to find her clothes. She would kill to have her own bathroom. "Ugh, I'm so sweaty too, I need to take a shower."

"How romantic. We should have stopped at the wine if you hate being sweaty, sometimes the squeeze ain't worth the juice." They laughed. I imagine sex to be quite underwhelming as you can see. "I should get going before sunrise." He got up and went to get dressed too.

"Where did you hide the wine?" She was done assembling her quite simple outfit and she sat down at her desk.

"Why do you ask?"

"It was cold when you opened it. I didn't know you had a whole fridge hidden somewhere."

"What's a fridge? You know what, nevermind." He bent down to kiss her before climbing on the windowsill.

"Bye asshole!"

"Bye bitch!"

She chuckled to herself as she closed the window, this was a night to remember. She went to grab her toiletries before going to the shower and noticed that he forgot his cigarette box.

Good, that means he'll come back sooner.

She left to go shower and start her day. She didn't have an ounce of sleep and she's still kind of drunk so it's gonna be interesting.

...