#mainly i want to get back into the swing of things with fnaf and my fics. im so swamped with school but i still wanna

[eyndr-stories]

(throws this meme at you and scurries away)

[nozomi-vents]

Hi!!!

Welcome to my vent account!

This is where I will be posting all of my vent content (Mainly stuff regarding BPD and my thoughts on online drama), it's kind of like making a public diary lmao

I also reblog other people's vents that I relate to, so if you see me reblog your vent post, that's why :3 (if you need me to take it down, please let me know, and I will)

My main account: @nozomi-kaizoku

My posts on this account will contain or mention the following:

Suicide and suicidal ideation

Self harm

Any relevant drama that goes viral (ex: the YandereDev situation)

Negative perceptions of my relationships and myself

Sex, sexual topics and self sexualization

Ableism (including internalized ableism and stigma against my disorder)

Psych wards

Invalidation

Hopelessness for the future

The hardships that come with BPD (such as mood swings and dissociation)

Anxiety

Mentions of some problematic behavior I did back in 2021 (do not ask me about it btw, I'm not comfortable with going into detail and I might not remember everything)

Wanting to be in a relationship with older men (mainly with men in their 30's)

Attention-seeking behavior

Incel/Femcel stuff (I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH GENUINELY BAD PEOPLE)

Other things that might be potential triggering

If you are not comfortable with any of the above in any way, please DNI and do not come onto my page (see boundaries for other DNI criteria). I do not want my content to cause harm in any way.

Thank you.

Name: Nozomi Kaizoku, but I'm cool with Nozomi, Zomie/Zomi (doesn't matter the spelling), or just Luca(s) or Pheonix

I'm 17 (My birthday is 01/14)

Pronouns: He/they/it

Disabilities and mental conditions: autism (professionally diagnosed), ADHD (professionally diagnosed), PTSD (Professionally diagnosed), ARFID (avoidant-restrictive food intake disorder, professionally diagnosed), Iron deficiency (caused by ARFID), BPD (professionally diagnosed) MDD (Major depressive disorder, professionally diagnosed), GAD (generalized Anxiety disorder, professionally diagnosed), PDD (persistent Depressive disorder, professionally diagnosed). (all except autism, ADHD, PTSD and ARFID are provisional)

Sexuality and Gender Identity: Pansexual, Aromantic, and Non-Binary (Masculine and androgynous terms for me are cool with me)

Always Welcome!! (unless you end up on the DNI list somehow)

Neurodivergent people of all kinds (especially autistic and ADHD folk)

Anyone of any mental illness

FNAF fans, canon and AU (especially Tony crynight fans)

Any race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, etc. (this is a safe space)

Any fandom (outside of what is on the DNI)

Weird/cringe people of all kinds (furries, therians, alt fashion, etc.)

Problematic in recovery people (basically any content creators who are problematic and in the process of stopping their problematic behavior) (this s a pro-recovery page)

Just cool people in general!

Anyone 14 and over

Unless I made you an exception, DO NOT INTERACT (DNI) (you will be blocked)

Anyone in the Gacha fandom (as cool as the content is, the community is way too toxic for me to handle)

Anyone in the Hazbin Hotel fandom (same reasoning as the Gacha Fandom + Vivziepop is way too problematic for me to handle)

anyone under 14 (I'd rather not expose anyone that's really young to any sort of content that's gonna mess them up for life. Trust me, I saw some shit I wasn't supposed to at a young age and it messed me up big time.)

Anyone who openly shares their political ideology (No hate against any of you, but I've seen way too many people get into fights over one's political viewpoint, and I'd rather not have that negativity on here. I'm considered a "leftist/democrat/liberal" incase anyone is curious, but I'm not gonna talk about it much on here)

Springtrap x Ballora shippers (most of y'all are toxic as fuck and I don't like it)

DNI (no exceptions) (you will be blocked)

Anyone who fits into these categories: Ableism (especially against neurodivergent people and anyone with "evil" mental illnesses, such as NPD or BPD), Racism, Sexism/misogyny, Homophobia/ transphobia, Antisemitism, Pro-genocide of any kind, Nazis and Neo-Nazis, pro-"life", or any sort of discrimination that I haven't listed here.

People who justify literal bullying as "criticism" (seriously, it never helps, there's a difference between actual criticism that can help someone and bullying)

Tony Crynight Anti's (this is a Tony Crynight fanpage, and as such, any hate against him will be deleted and blocked)

Personality disorder Abuse believers (eg: Narcissist abuse believers)

People who make mental illness look like a quirky trend (Eg: saying "bpd = beautiful princess disorder", "I'm so OCD" etc.) (mental illness isn't fun at all, coming from experience) (ONLY APPLIES TO NEUROTYPICALS, SOME PEOPLE WITH THE DISORDER USE THESE JOKES AS A COPING MECHANISM)

Fashion Jirais (due to harassment and spreading harmful misconceptions about mental health and the Jirai community)

Anti-recovery (especially when it comes down to mental illness)

Cancel culture participants (most of yall are anti-recovery and pro-bullying.)

---

Feel free to reblog my posts if you find it relatable, but please be respectful about any criticism you have, otherwise you will be blocked.

---

That's all folks! /ref

[collxpsedhexrt]

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug