#main thing is i will probably actually finish this before christmas

[keendaanmaa]

It is now together enough to put on!! Albeit needing the top pinned to my shift, but still. And also this lets me get an estimate of how long the straps need to be

[planet-marz1]

Our Little Sheep

Summary: You and Joel celebrate christmas with your many children Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Word Count: ~4.1k

Tags/Warnings:18+MDNI no use of y/n, implied age gap(not specified), reader is able to get pregnant, jackson!joel, peepaw!joel(really peepaw), mentions of pregnancy, brief mentions of childbirth (nothing graphic), brief mentions of breastfeeding (again, nothing graphic) Lots of fluff & cuteness, Joel being a cute girl dad™, this seems like it should be a crackfic, but I promise It's so wholesome

A/N: Ok so this fic idea was born out of my cold medicine induced haze, so bear with me here guys. It's just a silly little fic, not meant to be taken seriously at all, and It's the most fun I've had writing in a bit, so I hope you enjoy reading! Just a little clarity here, the kids' ages range from 0 to 9. I know it gets all confusing here, so I am welcome to provide any further clarity if anyone needs it! A huge thank you to @catchallfangirl for helping with the naming of all of these gremlins & with the constant encouragement ❤️ Thank you to @fhatbhabie for beta reading!

lovely dividers by @pamasaur

| main masterlist | ao3 link | follow my fic updates blog @planetmarz1-notifs

You open your eyes slightly, squinting them. Joel sleeps peacefully next to you, his breaths even and steady. Burrowing yourself further under the blankets, you scoot closer to him, your head on his chest and intertwining your legs with his. You run your fingers through the curls of his now, fully gray hair.

Slight whines start to fill the room, and you lift your head up and glance over your shoulder to peek into the bassinet next to your side of the bed. Joel had been up with the baby all night after you two had finished wrapping up the gifts for the other kids. So, you groggily sit up in bed, reaching over to pick up the tiny little infant.

“Shhh, It’s alright, little one.” You whisper quietly, trying to calm him. After a few attempts to shush him, it’s still not working. He’s probably hungry, you figure. Lifting your shirt, you help him latch onto your breast, and he finally calms. You sigh quietly with relief. It’s all a part of the process, you try to remind yourself. Little baby Joelseph had only been born a few weeks ago. No, his name isn’t actually Joelseph. Simply a nickname given to him by his many older sisters when you had been pregnant with him. It started as a cute joke, but sure enough he came into the world, and no one was able to call him by his proper name. Named after his father, but considering the chaos of your family, the nickname is simply just another thing that you don’t bother to fight to keep the peace in the house.

The early hours of the morning are usually the small period of time when the house is completely silent. Every other waking minute is filled with the sounds of the kids, either giggling, or fighting with each other over something. Though, silence isn’t always a good thing. You’ll never forget the time the kids got into the kitchen cupboards and practically wreaked havoc in the kitchen while you were outside tending to the sheep.

Sure enough, you hear the trampling of footsteps coming down the hallway. No matter how chaotic it may be, this is your favorite part of the day. Getting to start each day greeted by all of your beautiful children, reminding you of why you are so lucky. You softly graze your fingers over the baby’s hair.

“I think your sisters are here, little guy,” You chuckle softly. The doorknob jiggles a bit. Before all of your daughters begin to spill into your bedroom, all eleven of them. Yes, eleven. You and Joel had, admittedly, gotten out of control in that department.

You and Joel had met when he had returned to Jackson in the spring with Ellie in tow. It had been an immediate connection, quite literally. Hooking up one night in the bathroom of the Tipsy Bison, which is what led to your firstborn, Emilie. The pregnancy had come as a shock, but you and Joel were excited nonetheless.

A chorus of variations of “Mom,” or “Mommy,” begin to fill the room, and you try to shush the girls, reminding them of their little brother. “Ok, girls, I know that you’re excited to get downstairs to all of your gifts, but you’ve got to settle down a bit, alright?” You whisper gently. Finally, they all nod in understanding. The calm is short-lived, though. Jane and Jules, the cutest, but menacing pair of instigators, hop on to your bed, shaking Joel’s shoulder, trying to wake their father.

They were your fourth pregnancy, which was by far the most difficult one you had ever experienced. Constant discomfort, and sleepless nights from the relentless kicking and movement from them. It wasn’t the first time you had been pregnant with twins, but It had gone nothing like you had expected it to.

Joel, though typically a light sleeper, is particularly hard to wake after a night with no sleep, hence why you’d opted on letting him sleep in. The two of them, each on one side of him, lean in close to his face, leaving little room for personal space. “Daddy.” Jules says quietly, Jane keeping a close watch.

Joel peeks one eye open, a bit startled at first at the heavy breathing from the two girls so close to his face, but the confused expression on his face is quickly replaced by a tired grin. As soon as all the girls spot that their father has woken up, they all pile onto your bed, excitedly squealing and giggling. Luckily, little baby Joelseph had already been lulled into a deep sleep after he finished nursing. Even if he hadn’t, you're pretty sure the few short weeks he’s been in the world, he’s already used to the constant noise and chaos from his older sisters.

Joel sits up on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, and tries to wrap his arm as many of them as humanly possible.

“When can we open our presents, daddy?” Tiny little Aurora questions impatiently. This is the first year she’s been able to fully understand the concept of Christmas, and all the gift giving. So, understandably, she is ecstatic for all the festivities of the day. She crawls into his lap, after attempting to clamber over all of her sisters in the way. Joel scratches at the scruff of his beard, and lifts her into his lap.

“How about we all eat breakfast first, sweetheart, then you all can tear into your gifts.” He says lowly, his voice still laced with sleep. “Sound like a plan?” He asks. The girls all nod in agreement.

You slowly stand up from the bed, still cradling baby Joelseph in your arms. Walking towards the door, you gesture for the girls to do the same. They all climb off of the bed, and without fail, the house is once again filled with chaos. All eleven of them racing out of your bedroom, and down the staircase to the kitchen.

Joel meets you by the doorway, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Well hello, sleepyhead.” You tease him. “Sleep well?”

“Just like usual, darling.” He kisses you again, this time placing kisses all over your face, and down your neck, before you place your hand gently on his chest stopping him from going any further.

“Not so fast, old man.” you chuckle softly. “We don’t need another one of these.” you say, gesturing down to the baby bundled up in your arms.

“One more wouldn’t hurt, huh?” He teases, and you just shake your head. 

“You say that because you aren’t the one who has to push them out.”

“We should probably get downstairs before they get into stuff that they shouldn’t be” You murmur, and Joel quietly nods in agreement.

The warmth of the morning sun filters through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room as you make your way into the dining room. Joel follows you, his hand brushing against the small of your back.

You and Joel enter the dining room, and expectedly the room is already filled with screaming and chaos. Alive with the energy of your daughters, and the two mischievous kittens, Ginny and Joel, weaving in and out of the chaos. 

Emilie, your oldest, is trying to settle an argument between Lacy and Lily, your first set of twins. Nothing new in your household, nearly every morning, no matter how many times you have to tell them that every seat is the same, the kids insist on fighting on who sits where, who sits next to whom. It’s exhausting, but you can’t help but smile at the chaos unfolding before you-it’s simply the routine of your everyday life.

Emilie, with her stern expression, finally manages to resolve the seating dispute between Lacy and Lily. You glance at Joel, and he chuckles, a knowing look passing between you. The girls quickly settle into their chairs, the anticipation of Christmas morning evident in their sparkling eyes. As you take your seat at the head of the table, Joel sits beside you, and the cacophony gradually subsides. Little Aurora, perched on Joel’s lap, swings her legs excitedly, eager to dive into the festivities.

“Alright, everyone, let’s dig in!” you announce with a smile, and the room erupts in cheers. The aroma of the freshly cooked breakfast wafts through the air as the kids eagerly serve themselves.

Emilie diligently helps the younger ones with their breakfast. She occasionally steals glances at the pile of gifts under the Christmas tree, anticipation gleaming in her eyes.

Lacy and Lily are engaged in animated conversation, their excitement palpable. Daisy can’t stop giggling at something Theo whispered in her ear. The second set of twins, Jane and Jules, sit side by side, already plotting mischief as they eye the presents.

Willow, with her big curious eyes, is inspecting her plate with utmost concentration, trying to decide which part of her breakfast to tackle first.

In the midst of the laughter and chatter, you catch Joel’s eye. There’s a shared understanding between you, a silent acknowledgement of the beautiful chaos that is your family. His gaze is filled with gratitude, and you can’t help but feel the same.

As the kids enjoy their breakfast, you steal a moment with Joel. “Can you believe how fast they're growing?” you murmur, your eyes dancing with a mixture of love and exhaustion.

Joel leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Feels like just yesterday we were sneaking around the Tipsy Bison.”

You laugh, the memory of that fateful night vivid in your mind. “Look where it led us.”

Kylie babbles incoherently as she attempts to mimic her older siblings. Aurora still sits on Joel’s lap, her eyes wide with wonder as she takes in the festive scene, and Joel aids her with her breakfast.

Maggie sits contentedly in her high chair, fingers sticky with syrup, as she munches on a piece of a pancake you’ve carefully cut up into small pieces for her.

The kids, fueled by excitement and sugar, chatter animatedly about their plans for the day. You and Joel exchange glances, both silently reveling in the joy of parenthood. The journey hasn’t been easy, but moments like these make it all worthwhile.

As breakfast winds down, you glance at Joel, both of you silently agreeing it’s time for the much-anticipated event of the morning.

The living room is now adorned with brightly wrapped gifts, a colorful display of the love and thoughtfulness you and Joel put into each one. The kids finish their breakfast, their eyes darting eagerly between the tree and the presents.

“Alright, kiddos, let the unwrapping begin!” Joel declares, and the room explodes with excitement. Each of their little faces lighting up with joy. 

“Okay, kiddos, let’s see what Santa brought us this year!” Joel exclaims, and the room erupts in cheers. The kids, now fueled by excitement from their furry friends and a hearty breakfast, rush to the tree, each claiming a spot around the mountain of gifts.

Emily takes charge, distributing gifts to each of her siblings with precision. Paper tears and laughter fill the air as each child discovers the treasures hidden beneath the wrapping.

Lacy and Lily eagerly tear into their presents, sharing excited glances when they unveil matching toys. Daisy clutches a doll close to her heart, and Jane and Jules giggle in delight at the surprise in their packages.

Theo, wide-eyed, unwraps a superhero action figure, and Willow discovers a fluffy stuffed animal that instantly becomes her new best friend. Kylie is overjoyed with a set of building blocks, her imagination already running wild.

Aurora claps her hands in glee as she unwraps a musical toy, and Maggie, though more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual gifts, coos happily.

Daisy twirls with a new dress, her face glowing with delight. “I’m going to wear this everyday!”

Aurora, surrounded by a pile of toys, claps her hands and points excitedly. “Look, Daddy, Mommy, so many toys!” Maggie, with a new plush toy in her tiny hands, giggles with joy. The room is filled with laughter and chatter as the kids excitedly showcase their new treasures.

Jane and Jules squeal in delight as they discover Joel curled up in the tangle of discarded wrapping paper, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. Willow, with her big curious eyes, watches the kittens in fascination, occasionally reaching out to stroke their fur. Kylie bursts into giggles as Ginny playfully bats at a shiny ribbon. Aurora claps her hands in delight at the sight of the playful duo. Maggie points with chubby fingers, her face lighting up with a smile as Joel gracefully leaps onto the back of the couch.

Joel catches your eye, and you share a moment of warmth as you witness the joy on your children’s faces.

“Looks like our little fur balls are the stars of the show today.” He chuckles.

Watching as the kittens continue their playful antics. The room is filled with laughter, shouts of excitement, and the crinkling of wrapping paper.

As the chaos subsides, you lean into Joel, watching the kids with a contented smile. “Merry Christmas, Joel.” He whispers back the same sentiment, wrapping his arm around you, anchoring you in the midst of the joyful storm that is your family.

The room buzzes with the joyous laughter of your children, the kittens weaving throughout the living room. As the kids continue to show off their presents, Ginny and Joel curiously inspect the colorful array of toys and trinkets scattered across the room.

Emilie, your eldest, sits by your side, flipping through her new sketchbook. “Mom, look at this! It’s perfect for my drawings. Thank you, Santa!”

Lacy and Lily, wearing their matching necklaces, approach Joel with enthusiasm. “Dad, Dad! Can Joel play with us too?” they ask, extending an invitation for the adventurous kitten to join in on their imaginative play.

Daisy twirls around in her new dress, and with a dramatic flair, she curtsies. “I’m a princess, just like in the stories!”

Jane and Jules, holding their new board game, insist on a family game night. Jules, gives you a confused look, glancing from the box, and then back up at you. “What is Boggle anyway?” 

“It’s just a word game, sweetheart, definitely an easy game to beat your dad at.” you laugh softly, shooting Joel a teasing grin.

Willow proudly shows you the fluffy stuffed animal she received. “Look Mom, It’s Fluffy! Daddy, feel how soft!” She grabs his hand to place it on the stuffed animal, and Joel enthusiastically plays along with her.

Kylie, engrossed in building her tower with the new blocks, beams with accomplishment. “It’s bigger than me, Mommy!” You smile at her gently, and give her compliments on her tower building skills.

Maggie, in her own little world, squeezes her plush toy and gurgles happily. The kittens, sensing the playful atmosphere, join in on the fun, batting at the discarded ribbons and chasing each other around the room.

Joel, still basking in the warmth of the family scene, leans over to you. “Seems like Santa knew exactly what they wanted.”

You nod, a content smile playing on your lips, ‘And the best part is seeing their faces light up with joy.”

The room is filled with laughter, the sound of wrapping paper being crinkled, and the occasional meow from Ginny and Joel. The chaos is harmonious, a melody of love and togetherness that defines your family.

The kids, their excitement undeterred, start brainstorming plans for the day–games to play, stories to tell, and perhaps a snowball fight if the weather permits. As the festivities continue, you can’t help but feel grateful for the love and warmth that fills your home–a treasure more precious than any gift under the tree.

As the kids reveled in the excitement of unwrapping their Christmas gifts, their attention turned to the chalkboard on the mantle–a poignant memorial to their older sister, Sarah. The room hushed momentarily as the children exchanged thoughtful glances, understanding the significance of the chalkboard.

The kids had put together some artwork and drawings the night before. They gather around the chalkboard, placing their artwork in front of it, creating a beautiful display of love and remembrance. The room, now adorned with their heartfelt tributes, felt infused with a sense of warmth and connection to Sarah’s memory.

Joel, watching from a distance, can't help but be moved by the sincerity and creativity of his children. The simple act of setting their drawings in front of the chalkboard transformed the mantle into a gallery of love—a tangible expression of the enduring impact Sarah's memory had on their hearts.

As the morning continued, the drawings stood as cherished tokens—a beautiful reminder that, even in the midst of joyous celebrations, the love for their sister would always hold a special place in the family's heart.

You nudge Joel gently, catching his attention. “Any Idea when Ellie, Dina, and JJ are planning to arrive?”

Joel looks thoughtful for a moment, his eyes scanning the room to make sure all the kids are engaged in their newfound treasures. “They’re aiming to get here just in time for lunch. Should be any moment now.”

Excitement lights up on your face at the news. “The kids are going to be over the moon to see them again, and It wouldn’t be Christmas without them.”

Joel nods in agreement, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Ellie’s always been good at timing. They’ll be here soon.”

As if on cue, a gentle knock at the door catches your attention. You glance at Joel, both of you sharing a knowing smile. The anticipation in the room heightens as the kids, sensing something special, look toward the door with wide eyes. Moments later, the front door bursts open, and the lively chatter of Ellie and Dina fills the air. The children squeal in delight, dropping their toys and rushing toward the doorway. Ellie enters first, holding JJ’s hand, Dina follows closely behind with a warm grin on her face.

The kids shout at them in unison, enveloping the new arrivals in a sea of hugs and excitement. You and Joel stand back, watching the heartwarming reunion unfold.

Ellie, catching your eye, gives you a knowing nod. “Merry Christmas!” she says as she greets you and Joel. You welcome them with open arms, a surge of joy filling your heart. “We’re so glad you’re here.”

As the laughter and joyful chaos continue to fill the room, you can’t help but marvel at the beautiful tapestry of your family, woven together by love, shared moments, and the bonds that withstand the test of time.

Amidst the joyful commotion, you navigate through the sea of excited children, still cradling little Joelseph in your arms. Joel joins you, and together you watch as Ellie, Dina, and JJ immerse themselves in the holiday cheer.

Ellie, after receiving an enthusiastic welcome from the kids, approaches you with a playful grin.

“How’s the newest little troublemaker doing?” she asks, casting an affectionate glance at Joelseph.

You chuckle, gently rocking the sleeping baby in your arms. “He’s been an angel all morning, surprisingly.” you yawn, tiredly.

Dina joins the conversation, “He’s gotten so big since we last saw him. Mind if we steal him for a bit?”

You nod with a smile, carefully passing Joelseph over to Dina. The little one stirs for a moment, but settles back into a peaceful slumber in Dina’s arms. “He’s all yours.’

The room continues to buzz with giggles and Ellie, Dina, and JJ become a seamless part of the festivities. The kids eagerly show them their new toys, and soon, the kittens, Ginny and Joel join the playful parade.

As the day unfolds, the house becomes a vibrant canvas, painted with the hues of love and togetherness. Joel, now with Aurora on his shoulders, navigates through the lively crowd. You find a quiet moment with Ellie, who is holding Joelseph with a tender smile.

“He’s adorable,” Ellie remarks, her eyes filled with a mix of nostalgia and affection. “Feels like just yesterday you were dealing with my teenage antics.”

You laugh, remembering those not-so-distant days. “Time flies, doesn’t it? Now look at us, and you, with a little family of your own.”

Ellie glances around the room, the sparkle of the holiday lights reflecting in her eyes. “Couldn’t ask for a better way to spend Christmas. And look at Joel, still being the heart and soul of this chaos.”

You follow her gaze to Joel, who is now surrounded by a group of kids, listening intently to one of Jane and Jules’ stories. The love in his eyes is evident as he shares in their laughter and mischief.

Ellie looks back at you, a soft smile playing on her lips. “You both did an amazing job. I’m proud to be part of this.”

And in that moment, as the laughter and warmth of your family envelop you, you couldn’t agree more. This Christmas, with all its magic, has woven another chapter into the rich tapestry of your lives–a chapter filled with love, laughter, and the cherished moments that make your family truly extraordinary.

As the festivities continue, Ellie, still cradling Joelseph, couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease Joel. With a mischievous twinkle in her eye, she approaches Joel, who’s now attempting to disentangle himself from a knot of kids.

“Hey, old man,” Ellie quips, giving Joel a playful nudge. “You holding up okay with all these little rascals running around?”

Joel chuckles, a playful glint in his eyes. “Someone’s gotta keep ‘em in check. You’ll find out soon enough, Ellie. Parenthood’s no joke.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow, her gaze shifting to Joelseph. “You’re the expert now, huh? It took you guys long enough to figure out the secret recipe for a baby boy.”

Joel grumbles and feigns offense. “Well, it’s not like we had a manual.”

Ellie rolls her eyes. “Says the guy who needed a football team's worth of daughters before finally getting a son.”

You join in on the banter, giving Joel an amused smile. “Took a bit of trial and error, but look at our charming little Joelseph now.”

Ellie leans in, bouncing the baby gently in her arms. “Not bad for an old guy, huh, kiddo?” she cooed, earning a content gurgle from the baby.

As the day of joyful chaos begin to wind down, the once lively house now settles into a more serene atmosphere. The twinkling lights of the Christmas tree cast a gentle glow over the living room as the laughter of the children gradually transforms into quiet giggles and yawns.

You and Joel, tired but content, herd the kids upstairs for their bedtime routine. The kittens, Ginny and Joel, follow along, their playful antics slowing down as they, too, sensing the impending calm.

“Alright kiddos, time for bed.” Joel announces, his tone gentle but firm as he ushers the kids into their respective rooms.

The procession of bedtime rituals unfold–one by one, teeth are brushed, pajamas are put on, and stories are read. The younger ones nestle into their beds, eyelids growing heavy with the sweet fatigue of a day filled with excitement.

As you check on each child, offering goodnight kisses and tucking them in, Joel moves gracefully through the house, turning off the twinkling lights and closing curtains. The house seems to exhale, the echoes of joyous laughter replaced by the hushed whispers of bedtime.

In the quiet moments between putting the kids to bed, you found Joel in the hallway, sharing a look of satisfaction passing between you. The day had been a whirlwind of love and joy, and now the peaceful hush settles over the house like a comforting blanket.

“Another Christmas for the books,” Joel remarks, his voice low.

You nod, a smile playing on your lips. “And many more to come, I hope.”

The two of you continue the nightly routine, gently closing doors and ensuring the house was ready for the calm of night. The soft glow of the light spilling from your bedroom illuminates your path as you and Joel make your way into the room, where little Joelseph lay sleeping in his bassinet.

Joel pauses by the doorway, his eyes fondly watching the baby. “He’s been the best gift, hasn’t he?”

You nod, a warmth settling in your heart. “The best, indeed.”

The day had been a symphony of chaos and joy, a beautiful crescendo that had now found its resolution in the quietude of the evening. As you and Joel retire to your room, you can’t help but reflect on the blessings of family, love, and the precious moments that make Christmas truly magical.

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[scary-grace]

(secret) santa, baby - part 7 of a shigaraki x f!reader fic

Shigaraki doesn't want to participate in the office's Secret Santa exchange, but when Toga promises to make it easy on him, he gives in. But making it easy for him makes it a lot harder for you -- you're the one who got his list. Office AU, no quirks. A fic in 12 parts. Divider by @ wcnderlnds

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii

part vii (staying in)

“I think everyone else is asleep,” you say, glancing around Toga’s living room. “We can probably turn this off.”

“Still awake,” Spinner says from the armchair, which he stole when Magne left after the end of the third movie. “I’m watching.”

“Yeah? What just happened?” Tomura asks.

“He’s giving everybody weird haircuts,” Spinner says. Close enough. “I have to pay attention. Aiba likes this guy’s movies. She says he’s –”

He yawns. “Nostalgic. I’m watching.”

“Okay, but nobody else is,” you say. “Shouldn’t we call it?”

Tomura glances around the room. Magne left after making everybody sit through Love Actually and Twice left midway through Die Hard because he gets scared of sleeping in other people’s houses, which leaves Toga, the girl she invited, Spinner, Dabi, Tomura, and you. Of everybody who’s left, only you and Tomura can be said to actually be awake. Spinner’s yawning on every other breath, Toga and the girl are cuddled up in the same beanbag, snoring, and Dabi drank too much eggnog and was out like a light before they’d even finished Krampus. You and Tomura are definitely outnumbered.

It’s not like Tomura isn’t tired. Tomura’s really tired. He feels the heaviness in his limbs and the yawns tightening his jaw, but his mind is wide awake, and he’s going to pay attention to every second of the movie you picked. Since he gave up forcing everybody to watch Gremlins in favor of your movie, he wants to make sure it was worth it, and he wants to know exactly what happened in case you want to talk about it afterwards. He’s hoping you do. He’s not ready for you to leave yet.

Tomura wasn’t sure about seeing you outside of work, but then he decided it would help him figure things out. Seeing you around the office is one thing. For him to know if he likes you, he has to know what you’re like outside of work, so he can decide if he’d want to hang out with you then, too. Tomura’s not good at this whole liking-people bullshit. If there was some kind of life skills class where everybody learned it, he probably missed it while he was being homeschooled or in juvie. By the time he got out, halfway through high school, everybody already knew what they were doing. Tomura just has to fumble through somehow.

You make it feel less like fumbling. It makes more sense to Tomura when you’re sitting next to him, roasting Love Actually just like he is, actually paying attention during the horror movie he picked instead of drinking straight through it. You pay attention to things, notice them, just like Tomura’s Secret Santa notices stuff about him. Tomura feels less weird about being noticed than he used to.

But he doesn’t want to just sit here noticing and getting noticed all night long. He wants to talk to you about something that’s not work or whatever dumb Christmas thing is happening, and he can only manage half. “Is this really the first movie you thought of when I said you could pick one?”

“I was trying to pick one you all would like,” you say. Something about that reminds Tomura of the way you wrote your wish list. “I do like this one, though. Some people think it’s stretching it to call it a Christmas movie, but it’s all leading up to Christmas, so I count it.”

Movies that can only be called Christmas movies if Tomura’s stretching it are his favorite kind of Christmas movies. “Why do you like it when it’s going to be sad?”

You glance sideways at him. “What makes you think it’s going to be sad?”

“The grandma telling the story is the main girl when she’s old, and she’s telling it past tense,” Tomura says. You nod. “Besides, he’s – like that. No way is that working out well for anybody.”

“But it could,” you counter. “You might be right about how the story goes, but there’s nothing in the story that says it has to be that way.”

Tomura thought you were awake, but maybe you’re sleepier than he thought. “You mean, other than the whole story so far?”

“I mean –” You trail off. “In some stories, there’s obstacles that can’t be overcome. Like somebody being dead, or something being too wrong to work. And in some stories the obstacles are a choice, kind of. Those are the ones I like.”

Tomura’s played games where choices matter. Somehow he always stumbles into the bad ending, and knowing that there’s a good ending out there that he was too stupid to get makes it even worse. If you like those stories, you’re probably better at making choices than he is. Still – “If the end’s the same, why does it matter?”

“Well –”

“Hey, can you save the philosophy until after the movie?” Spinner yawns. “I’m still trying to watch.”

Tomura gives it five minutes until Spinner passes out, and he’s only off by about thirty seconds or so. Now it’s just the two of you awake, watching the weird movie you picked. Tomura’s trying hard to watch the movie, but just like he keeps getting the song you sang stuck in his head, he keeps getting stuck looking at you.

The movie ends like Tomura thought it would – sadly, but not surprisingly – and he glances at you. “You’re going to say she could have chosen to stay with him,” Tomura says, and you nod. “Why would she do that? When he’s – like that –”

Tomura doesn’t get why he’s being squeamish about calling it like it is. The main character’s ugly. Scary. Nothing anybody wants to touch. “Maybe she likes him how he is,” you say. You’re not looking at the screen anymore. You’re looking at Tomura. “There’s nothing about the story that says she couldn’t have picked him. There’d have been consequences, but there are always consequences. And I guess that’s why it’s sad. Knowing it could have been the other way just as easily.”

You look away from Tomura, and even though he usually hates being looked at, he sort of misses it. “I guess it’s good that everybody fell asleep,” you say. “This doesn’t really seem like a sad-Christmas crowd.”

“Sad Christmas makes more sense than happy Christmas,” Tomura says before he can really think about it. “It never made sense to me, except –”

Making friends. Spending the holidays with them instead of wondering why everybody but him got to celebrate with people they mattered to. And he’ll never admit it to Toga, or anyone, but the Secret Santa thing is kind of fun. He likes leaving stuff for you and seeing how you react. Almost as much as he likes getting things from whoever his Secret Santa is.

“Yeah,” you say, like he’s explained it all out loud. Maybe he’s tired enough that he has and just didn’t realize. “I can see that.”

You’re doing that noticing thing again. Tomura keeps looking at you, trying to notice you back, but the longer the two of you look at each other, the weirder it starts to feel between you. Like there’s something more that needs to happen. Tomura steels himself, braced for whatever you do or to act as soon as he has an idea of what to do.

And then you look away. “It’s late. I should go.”

“You could stay,” Tomura says. “None of us except Toga live here, and we’re all sleeping over.”

You look like you’re thinking about it. Tomura can think of a lot of reasons why you should – it’s late, it’s cold, it’s probably a long way to your apartment, you’d basically have to wake up again by the time you got home – but before he can say any of them, you nod. “Okay. Where should we sleep?”

You end up with your heads at opposite ends of the couch, under the same blanket. Both of you rustle around, knees knocking together as you try to settle in. You fall asleep faster than Tomura does. There’s no way he can imagine you tangling your legs up with his if you were awake, and Tomura’s so focused on trying to live with being this close to someone that the question of whether he likes you is answered definitively offscreen. It’s something he wakes up with. Just like he wakes up still sharing the couch with you.

<- part vi part viii ->

[yoonia]

— Dia’s tumblr wrapped 2024 

I know it’s super late for me to share this, but just as many would say, it’s better late than never. Thank you so much for the lovely people who tagged me to do this: @beomcoups, @shadowkoo, @kingofbodyrolls ♡

2024 started off smoothly…until it didn’t. The final quarter of the year has always been a hard time for me and it wasn’t that much different this year. As you can probably notice that I’ve been mostly absent ever since the end of October and I deeply apologise for that. I also regret not planning things properly and for not keeping up with my goals this year but that only means that I'll be dragging my WIP list towards the next year.

Thank you so much for everyone who has been there for me this year, and those of you who have stuck by me despite my inconsistencies. I really appreciate your presence on my blog, whether it’s through your likes and kudos, your reblogs, your comments and replies on my contents, and the kind words you sent me through my ask box. You guys have made it worthwhile for me to be here even after all these years, and I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Here’s to mark the end of our wild journey through 2024 and enter the new year of 2025. 

OVERALL FIC STATS 2024

Number of fics posted: 4 (four) one-shots, 2 (two) ongoing series, 3 (three) ficlets

Number of fics revamped: 2 (two) completed fics, 2 (two) ongoing series

Number of words written: 448,057 words (dang, no wonder I felt so burned out lol)

Number of fics in progress: 32 (oh, boy…) 

FIRST FIC OF 2024

❥ A Christmas Fix 01 & 02 —  posted Jan 31st & Feb 1st | 1,926 & 1,226 notes

My thoughts: This was…quite a journey. It’s been a while since I wrote a rom-com story and I was pleased to have been given the chance to write this idea through a collab. The final outcome wasn’t too disappointing either, since I enjoyed writing it and reading it afterwards. I’m glad everyone loved this story as well.

MOST POPULAR FIC OF 2024

❥ The Stand-In (Revamped version) — posted Aug 13th | 4,267 notes

My thoughts: Okay, yeah…I cheated a little. But to be fair, this fic did get a lot of notes this year before and after the revamping process. I loved this story so much that I felt like it deserved a major makeover and I’m glad I managed to do it this year.

LONGEST FIC OF 2024

❥ The Bedroom Hymns — series, ongoing, last updated Sept 9th | 50k++ words | I’m too lazy to open each chapter to count the notes I’m so sorry lol

My thoughts: I know…I know, I need to update this one again. I had to take a break from this series because this fic literally became my main focus this year that a lot of my WIPs kept getting pushed back just so I could finish more of this. I had to stop at some point to finally set free my WIPs. I have to admit that I also lost my motivation to write this due to the lack of notes and responses that I got with each update no matter how much time I spent working on it (tacky, I know…but it is what it is). I still love and enjoy writing this, so more chapters are coming. I can see this fic becoming my main focus again in 2025 until I’m done with it.

LAST FIC OF 2024

❥ The Forsaken II: Tears of the Sea — posted Oct 24th | 712 notes

My thoughts: Holy hell…this fic. Who would’ve thought that I’d be revisiting siren!Taehyung this year after…3 years?? Thank you, whoever it was that sent this during my birthday event. I never expected to write a full fic for this to continue the original story and to answer a lot of your questions, but I’m glad I did! 

Honorable mention: 

❥ Our Imperfections — posted Oct 30th | 92 notes

My thoughts: This was the last thing I actually released before I dipped into the void but I couldn’t count this as a fic as this was considered a ficlet or, in a more common term, a drabble.

PERSONAL FAVOURITE FIC OF 2024

❥ Blooming Wallflowers — posted Sept 25th | 927 notes

My thoughts: I had one of those rare moments where I found myself enjoying the writing process of a story so much that things simply kept flowing until it became a full story. This one went twice the size planned (and commissioned) but I have no regrets. At all.

Honorable mention: 

❥ Maps (revamped version) — series, completed, posted Sept 6th, 7th, & 11th | 1,4k++ notes (again, I’m too lazy to open each chapter lol)

My thoughts: I initially planned to release something else for DPR Ian’s birthday this year. But then I started revamping the graphics for his old fics instead and decided to revamp the whole series while I had the chance. This one has always been my fave work that I wrote for Christian, so diving back into this to do a makeover and give it a major upgrade felt absolutely fulfilling. 

2024 SPECIAL EVENT

❥ 𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖆𝖉𝖊: yoonia’s 2024 birthday bash

My thoughts: Once again, I can’t thank you guys enough for joining this small event of mine. I promise that I’ll have another event in 2025 so please stay tuned! (see you in March!) 

Fave reads of 2024

I have to admit that I haven’t been doing a lot of fic reading this year. But I’m happy that I got to dive back into reading some fanfics during my birthday event and found some lovely gems that I truly enjoyed

The Taste of Sin by @shadowkoo

Vignette: Duty by @cybrsan

The Athlete by @beomcoups

A Lover's Redemption by @writtenwhalien

Dandelion by @shina913

The Wood by @sailoryooons

Minted by @kithtaehyung

Mr. & Mrs. Yoon by @monamipencil

On The Ropes by @raplinesmoon

Top Ten Tracks of 2024

Loved — B.I

People — Agust D

Make You Mine — Black Violet

Gemini — Cheyenne 

Close To Me — Mamie, Eloy, Trippy Bass

HUH?! — Agust D feat. J-hope

Love — Lana Del Rey 

Reasons — COTIS 

Watch Me Burn — Michelle Morrone 

Die First — Nessa Barrett  

GOALS FOR 2025

Write more. Tackle more WIPs each month. 

Finally finish my old abandoned WIPs (About Time, Blood Moon Rising and the Shifters Series, Chance Encounter) 

Finish writing and officially release my original stories/novel as a web-series

Try to do better with planning and scheduling and keeping up with them

Finish revamping Carousel and release the novel version on Ream

Read more. Both published books and released fics

Focus more on my personal health, mental and physical 

Start job hunting again

I know I’m late for this, so I’m passing this over to the writers who are tagged on the list above (if you haven’t done this yet) and also tagging a few who come across my mind right now (only if you want to!): @ressjeon @lo1k-diamonds @pars-ley @minisugakoobies @inkedtae

And also tagging randomly anyone who feels inspired to create their own tumblr wrapped! 

[gloomysoup]

home is where you are

@steddiebingo prompts: hurt/comfort (main card) and home (christmas card)

rating: Teen+ | word count: 2400 | tags: omegaverse, alpha eddie, omega steve, mpreg, insecure steve harrington, hurt/comfort, fluff | ao3

Eddie came home from work to absolute chaos. Addie and Violet were sitting on the living room floor, arguing over whether to put the white lights or the colored lights on the Christmas tree, which he had put up the night before. Addie wanted white, but Violet wanted colored. Eddie was almost certain none of their lights from last year were even going to work, so they'd have to buy new ones anyway. James and Lucy were fighting over an orange crayon at the coffee table, two blank pieces of paper and a whole assortment of other colored crayons in front of them. Steve and their youngest, Grace, were nowhere to be seen, but Eddie could hear movement in the kitchen. Eddie quickly slipped his boots off at the door and swooped in to de-escalate all the arguing.

He started by grabbing a second, emergency, box of crayons from the cabinet that held the art supplies. He pulled out an orange one and handed it to Lucy, so she would stop trying to take the other one from her brother. Then he moved to the older two girls, squatting down in front of them and picking up two strings of lights.

“Why don't we put the lights away for now, my loves? They probably don't even work. I’ll take you both to the store this week and we can pick some new ones out together. How does that sound?”

They easily agreed, and Eddie was incredibly grateful that everything was solved quickly tonight. Once all of the pups were settled and occupied, not a single argument left to be had, Eddie moved to the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway to smile at what he found. Steve was standing at the stove, stirring a pot of boiling macaroni noodles with Grace on his hip. He was swaying back and forth, softly humming a lullaby as he did.

Eddie slid up behind him, leaning in with a hand on Steve’s other hip to kiss his cheek. “Evenin', beautiful,” he whispered. Steve smiled and turned his head to get a proper kiss.

“Hey, baby. How was work?” Steve asked after they had separated.

Grace was grinning, trying to scramble from Steve’s hold while saying, “Da!”

Eddie shrugged, taking Grace into his own arms. “Nothin’ new. Missed you, though. How was your day? Pups drive you too crazy?”

Steve hummed in consideration. “Hectic. Lots of arguments today. Oh, Lucy broke one of the nice glasses that Joyce got us. She was trying to be like Addie and Violet and help put the dishes away, but she dropped it and it shattered. Everyone was okay, though, and I’m pretty sure I got all the glass cleaned up.”

Eddie’s hand looped around further to rest on Steve’s swollen belly. “And how was the little one today? Not causing too much trouble, I hope?”

Steve huffed a small laugh. “Not letting me actually get anything done today.” He put down his spoon and leaned back into Eddie’s chest. “Every time I finally got the rest of the pups settled down enough to do something, I either had to pee or sit down for a little bit. By the time I was done, someone else needed something, and the cycle repeated.”

“That's okay,” Eddie murmured, nuzzling his nose against the shell of Steve’s ear and taking a deep breath of his scent. He always loved how much sweeter his mate smelled during pregnancy. It was one of his favorite parts of the experience. “I'll finish the chores for you after dinner. You just worry about relaxing.”

“Eddie, no,” Steve argued, moving to stir the pasta again. “You just worked a ten-hour shift. You shouldn't have to come home and do everything here too. I'll take care of it.”

“You will do no such thing.” Eddie adjusted his hold on Grace, who was snuggled against his chest after not seeing him since the night before. She had been the only one still asleep when Eddie left for work that morning. “You chased our little pack of hooligans around all day while growing a pup. You deserve to put your feet up and relax for the evening. I'll take care of everything else. Don't worry about anything.”

Steve glanced over his shoulder with a frown. “At least let me help. Then we can get everything done faster.”

Eddie smiled and kissed Steve’s cheek again. “Whatever makes you feel better, my love.”

Dinner in the Munson household that night was quite the affair, as it usually was with five kids under the age of eight. Afterwards, Eddie corralled all the pups upstairs for baths and pajamas while Steve cleaned up in the kitchen. By the time everyone was clean, clothed, and settled on the couch for one last movie before bedtime, Eddie was wrecked. He loved his children more than anything in his life (except maybe Steve), but they were exhausting. He had no idea how his mate did it all day long.

Finally, he started the movie and went to track down his superhero of a partner. It didn't take him long at all. Steve was in the laundry room, loading the washer to get one more in for the evening. Eddie came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his husband and kissing his cheek. He pulled Steve back into his chest and swayed gently. He reveled in the way Steve instantly sank into his hold, body going lax and a sigh of contentment leaving his lips.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Eddie whispered.

“Mmmm, tell me again?” Steve replied just as softly.

“I love you so so so much, my love.” Eddie gently tightened his arms around him. “You are an absolute wonder. I don't know how you deal with our little gremlins all day and not just completely lose your mind.”

Steve hummed, a soft smile on his lips. “They're not so bad. Most days. It helps that Addie, Violet, and James go to school five days a week.”

“A saint,” Eddie said, slowly releasing his hold on Steve to dramatically collapse to his knees in front of him. “I worship on my knees in your holy presence.” As Steve laughed, Eddie leaned forward with his hands on Steve’s sides to press a kiss to his belly. Their pup moved beneath his touch. Eddie would never get tired of the feeling. It always amazed him, just what Steve’s body was capable of, especially when it came to creating life.

“Come on, up off the floor,” Steve finally said, grabbing Eddie’s hand and starting to pull him up. The alpha went easily, rarely one to say no to his omega.

With the pups suitably distracted for at least a little bit longer, Steve and Eddie set about the quiet routine of getting evening chores done. They didn't speak much, just moved around each other in a comfortable silence. Eddie did the day’s dishes and wiped down the countertops while Steve folded laundry at the table. The movie in the living room was still going when Grace started getting fussy. It wasn't long before Violet was calling for them to make her stop.

“I'll get her,” Eddie said softly, not wanting to break the calming atmosphere in the kitchen. Steve nodded, still folding laundry, while Eddie headed for the living room.

Grace was pushing at Lucy when Eddie walked in, and Lucy was quickly losing patience with her little sister. Eddie picked Grace up, trying to remedy the situation, but that just caused a full blown tantrum. She kicked and screamed, fighting against Eddie and her own exhaustion. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. No matter how hard he tried to put out a calming scent to soothe her, it was all for naught. She just kept screaming and kicking and writhing. Steve quickly appeared in the doorway, looking a little worried. As soon as Grace saw him, she reached her arms out.

“Give her here,” he said gently, coming over to take the screaming toddler from Eddie’s arms. “I'll sit with her.”

Eddie nodded and passed her off to Steve, watching as Grace instantly began to calm down. He made sure Steve was comfortable on the couch with Grace curled into his body before leaving to finish cleaning up the kitchen and folding laundry. By the time he was done, the movie was over. All five of their pups were fast asleep on the couch. Grace was curled up on Steve’s lap, her head pillowed on his chest. Lucy was situated firmly in Steve’s side, while the older three were piled up and stretched out across the other cushions.

Eddie was extremely careful in his extraction. He took Addie and Violet upstairs to the room they shared first, then James to his room. When he came back, he slowly picked up Lucy and let her burrow into his neck while Steve carefully tried to stand up with Grace. It was a lot harder the further along this pregnancy got, but Steve was nothing if not determined. He never let anything slow him down; not even being nearly eight months pregnant. Again, superhero. Eddie was obsessed with him.

After a very long, very chaotic night, all of the pups were finally tucked away in their beds. Eddie and Steve could actually take a minute to breathe without someone needing something. As they did every night, once the children were tucked in and sound asleep, they curled up on the couch together with some random movie they'd seen a hundred times before. It was more for the noise and familiarity than the movie itself. Steve was tucked against Eddie’s side, his head resting where he could hear Eddie’s heartbeat, just like every night. Eddie held him close, breathing in Steve’s scent and letting himself finally relax for the first time all day. They both remained quiet for a while.

Something deep down in his gut was telling Eddie that something was wrong. Something was bothering Steve, festering in his mind. Before he got the chance to ask, Steve was opening his mouth to speak.

“Do you think we’re making a mistake?” he asked so softly, Eddie almost didn't catch it. If their house hadn't been so quiet, he might not have heard him.

“What do you mean?” Eddie tightened his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

Steve shrugged as best he could from under Eddie’s arm. “I just- Do you think all of this is just a big mistake?” Eddie’s heart shattered at the broken lilt to Steve’s voice, the tremble of his words. “Is having another baby a mistake?”

Eddie frowned, trying so hard to control his scent. “Of course not. What's wrong, baby? Where is this coming from?”

Steve sniffled a little, pressing his cheek a little more firmly into Eddie’s chest. “I don't know. I just- We already have five kids, Eddie. Our- our house isn't that nice. We don't really have a whole lot of extra money. And with Grace’s medical bills… maybe- maybe we should have just stopped after James, or Lucy. Maybe everyone was right, and this is all just a big mistake.”

Eddie shook his head, feeling the fabric of his t-shirt start to dampen. “Absolutely not,” he said. He pulled away, shifting so he could fully look at Steve. “Baby, this is not a mistake. I don't know who’s putting these ideas in your head, but they're wrong. So what if we don't have the nicest house in Hawkins? That's never mattered. Not to me, not to the pups. It's just a house, Stevie. And so what if we don't have all the money in the world? Our family has a roof over their heads, clothes on their bodies, and they never have to worry about going hungry. Our pups are loved. Why should anything else matter?”

Fat tears rolled down Steve’s cheeks. Eddie caught them with his thumbs as he cradled Steve’s face in his hands.

“I love you, Steve Munson,” he continued, unable to stop now that he was on a roll. “I love you, and I love our pups, and I love our life. I don't care about money, or our house. All I care about is our family. Our five little pups, who bring me so much joy every single day. Sweet little Sophia, who is going to be so loved, just like her siblings. You, the love of my absolute life, who has given me so much to be grateful for.”

Tears were welling up in Eddie’s eyes against his permission. He just loved Steve so much, and he hated seeing him so upset.

“Eddie,” Steve whispered, voice shaking with his emotions.

“Stevie, honey, I cannot even begin to tell you just how amazing I think you are. How strong, capable, loving, and wonderful. The greatest gift of my life is getting to be a dad, and you have given that to me six times now. I am so deeply in love with you, and our big family. I would never trade any of our pups for anything in the entire world. I don't need a fancy house or money, because you and our babies are my home. I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. I am obsessed with you and our six little pups, this house with its scattered Christmas decorations that we haven't had the time to put up yet, and every single other thing about this little life we’ve built for ourselves. Fuck everyone else. This is the only thing that matters.”

Eddie held Steve to his chest as he cried, rubbing his back and whispering all of his love into Steve’s ear in the hope that it would sink beneath his skin and stay there forever.

Later, Grace will wake up and need Eddie to put her back to sleep. Later, Lucy will crawl into bed with them and cuddle up to Steve. Later, Eddie will help Steve make breakfast before going to work. Later, they’ll put up decorations and stick the Christmas presents under the tree. Later, they’ll have a newborn in the house, someone else for Eddie to love with everything he has.

Later, Eddie will still be deeply in love with the home that he and Steve have built together, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it.

[ronearoundblindly]

Who would give the best presents? (For the holidays maybe)

Jingle bells 🔔 Jingle bells 🔔 Jingle all the way 🎊

This is gonna be focused on holiday/Christmas gifts, but it also describes why--due to the type of presents the guys do give--they are good or 'bad.' It turned out to be NO NONSENSE and shorter than expected, my bad.

Listed in (vague) order of worst to best!

Jimmy Dobyne

Doesn't much see the value in gifts after childhood. Might offer a present here and there. Mostly only bothers with gifts when told he has to get something, whether that is by you in reminder for a party he's going to or for you on an occasion a friend tells him.

Johnny Storm

Shows up with a last-minute gift every time. No planning ahead. Apparently considers his presence a gift...even for your birthday 😒

Lloyd Hansen

Gets you gifts that he likes, basically for him, not you. At least someone enjoys them, right? Correct. If anyone should be appeased, it's Lloyd.

Ari Levinson

Not much of a holiday or celebration person but will step up for very special things. (Hint: it's not for Christmas, and Hanukkah hasn't been gift-focused since he was quite little. Mostly cares about your birthday and big life events.) Sadly, Ari also knows he's not the best gift giver, so...he stopped trying to get better a long time ago.

Curtis Everett

Really against 'stuff' for stuff's sake, so gifts are rare and meaningful but not expensive (unless you two have agreed on the cost of something extravagant). This is a guy you have to do ring shopping with before he proposes.

Ransom Drysdale

Buys you expensive gifts but not necessarily with you and your likes in mind. Sometimes he gets lucky, they're just plain awesome, and you love them that much more.

James Mace

Excessively practical. The use-to-expense ratio is always considered, probably too much.

Bucky Barnes

Very thoughtful, small gifts. He's been afraid of really big gestures and public declarations of any sort. Bucky also staunchly refuses to let anyone else wrap his gifts to others; start to finish, it has to be him choosing, buying, wrapping, and offering each gift.

Steve Rogers

Consistent in giving something for every holiday, anniversary, or event, even if it's just flowers.

*Bucky and Steve fall into the category of if they can hand-make a gift, they will at least try to make it themselves. It's a point of pride. They also baulk at the cost of everything these days, so they tend to keep the price of presents down. Making things from scratch tends to help that.

Andy Barber

Not afraid to drop some dough on your gifts AND always considers what you like, what looks good on you, or what you'll really use.

Jake Jensen

I rank Jake as the best gift giver not because he spends the most money or puts the most thought into each. He spends enough and he thinks enough, but Jake enjoys the process the most. He's so fucking happy to see your face light up (or for you to give him the evil-eye at a joke present). This makes the actual act of gifting with Jake the most exciting. He tries to pick a setting and time that enhances the experience of the gift--no matter how small or goofy the present. Yeah, the rating system here is subjective, but Jake still wins. Sorry not sorry.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn

@late-to-the-party-81 @bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries

@rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thiquefunlover63

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 40

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

Pearl is the one to open the door and let you in, as you walk inside her apartment you see Martyn and Cleo are already on the couch while Scott seems to be preparing some ..food? You can't really tell what it is but you have to assume It's some kind of snack.

"Finally, we were waiting for you guys for a while now... Pick a spot on the couch while I go set up the first movie"

"That sounds good... ...so, what movie's first?"

Scott perks up at that, you can guess It's probably one of his, either that or he's just really excitedby the idea of watching movies in general.

It was the former, it is one of his, you feel very smug for something that is completely unimportant.

Mean girls is a pretty strong start for this whole marathon thing, you didn't expect a story about mortal highschoolers to be even remotely close to being entertaining but you aren't going to lie... it was actually pretty good.

Scar had never seen it either so you weren't even the odd one out... Also the main "mean girl" character got run over by a bus at one point which actually made you laugh. More chaos! Yeah! Exactly what you want!

... Unfortunately also run out of snacks because Martyn finished them so now you have to wait to get more before the next movie.

The second movie is the one Martyn chose and that Scott seems to be insulted by, the lego batman one... The main problem you don't know what either lego or Batman are so...

"What is Lego?"

Scar whips around so fast you are surprised he didn't snap his neck in the process...

"You don't know what lego is???"

"Nope"

"Pearl told us it was bad but I didn't think it was this bad..." Scott chimes in from the kitchen.

Pearl for once decides to be helpful and explain. "It's a type of toy, plastic blocks that can be connected to build structures and scenes...this movie is going to mostly use a similiar style."

"I see! ... What's a batman?"

So, apparently Batman is a vigilante/hero from some comics that is "super famous" and "known even by non comic fans"... Watching a movie about super heroes. And super villains is pretty ironic considering your situation as both...

As for the movie, definitely fits your brand, It's 1) fun and 2) you don't understand what's going on for half of it. Perfect chaos...though that's mostly because you don't get the references. Still you have... fun, like... genuine entertainment even. There's also at one point a part where the clown guy summons other villains and the room just devolves into you asking who someone is, one of the others being appalled, an explanation and repeat...

After a small break It's time for Cleo's pick, she prefaces to you that's the film is in stop motion and this time you don't have to ask because you already know what that means! From one of the documentaries you watched with Mumbo! You didn't think you would ever gain something from them... something to keep in mind...maybe... probably not.

The movie is definitely different from the other two. On one hand nobody is hit by a bus, on the other you got a song about kidnapping Santa so...

The movie follows what you can only assume to be an halloween deity considering the whole holiday lands thing is strangely similiar to the divine planes you and Pearl and the other gods share. You also know that It's probably not the way the others are interpreting it, or even how It's supposed to be interpreted for that matter...still, it ends up being the movie with the protagonist that's the most relatable to you. Yes, the one about the talking skeleton copying christmas...wonder what that says about you.

This time Pearl doesn't go to set up the next movie.

"Ok, time for a break. We already watched three movies in a row and I'm sure some of you need to go to the bathroom"

That's fair, you don't but the mortals might... As the room devolves into chatter you slowly tune in mentally into what's happening with you...other you... Mother Spore.

[ant0nsfirstluv]

Spending Winter Break/Christmas with Riize Headcanons

Merry Christmas Eve Briizes 😛

Warnings : None

More Under The Cut !!

Shotaro:

Takes you on a holiday vacation back to his birth place Kanagawa!!! and spend some time in Shibuya as well

Rents out a beautiful mini house for you and him to stay in together during the vacation, it would be too cute and have a nice view

Perhaps even coming with a personal onsen

Would take you to multiple winter festivals and winter firework shows buying you whatever treats and charms you’d like

PICTURE TIMEEEE does whatever to make the pics perfect with the right ambience

When Christmas finally hits you two would finally exchange gifts I like to think he’d get you a nice bracelet since I’ve seen him wear his own a couple times :))

MORE PICTURES .

Eunseok

I see a chill but memorable Christmas with him, you two doing cute activities like building gingerbread houses and making ornaments

definitely not laughing at how your gingerbread house looks (he is AND is taking pics to show the gc) but helps you fix it after 😭

Once you both finish building the gingerbread house he’d just hold your hand and feed you the left over candy and gingerbread

he loves horror movies so he’d probably would want to watch a Christmas based horror movie instead of just a regular one like Krampus or something

pretends to not care about you wanting to stay up Christmas Eve but will keep slightly shaking you awake once you start dosing off before the clock hits 12

Randomly took your hair and adds a christmas themed ribbon to it (when he did it, you have no clue)

Sungchan

drives you around to look at the pretty lights and attractions Christmas Eve, even letting you get out the car and take pictures together at certain winter attractions

gives you a gift a day early because he can’t help but show you one of the things he got you already (a nice little necklace with your initial mayhaps)

doesn’t let you show him his gift early because shhh the Christmas spirit 🤫 but then caves in letting you tell him what you got him

takes you (his pretty luh lady) out for a nice dinner at one of your favorite restaurants to eat at

gets you two the picture worthy seasonal christmas deserts once you two are done eating the main course even sharing some of his with you

Insta posts dedicated to spending the holidays with you once you two’s day is through of course

Wonbin

Christmas shopping with him for days upon days upon days before the actual day. You two practically have a summary of what you have gotten each other 😭

would randomly ask you about your measurements and sizes over and over just to be sure the clothes + jewelry he got you is the right fit ( “Hey what’s your shoe size again.” … “Wonbin you asked this earlier.” …. “…But are you sure-” “ Yes”. )

plays you some Christmas/winter songs on his guitar when you both end up dozing off not being able to show and exchange gifts till the morning

You alr know he’s posting a Christmas photo dump showing off the jewelry/earrings you two got each other

Watches Christmas movies with you, talks about how crazy home alone is and how he’d set up the traps if he was the kid or get in the house as the burglar 😭

Seunghan

he would not budge about your present and would have you actually wait until 12am or Christmas Day morning to open it oh my god 😭 but only because it’s v special

once he realized the tradition behind mistletoes he’d order one online just to randomly lift it above you two so you can give him a little kiss FOR FREEEEEE whenever

shows you “christmas themed snack recipes” from tiktok for you two to try (it was toooo difficult and you both gave up and ordered some chicken in)

I can’t get over the gamer Seunghan agenda he’d most def show you all the Christmas themed skins he got recently (maybe even bought you some skins if you play the same games)

once it’s finally 12 he’d finally show you your gift and he’d probably give something super personal that he’d know only you’d want to have

Sohee

KARAOKEEEEE bye you two would be swinging together singing alll the Christmas songs even the corny ones that you’d hear in the mall/ads

you two would probably play music the entire day in general, not just holiday hits but you two’s favorite songs as well and would just sing and dance together

sohee has said before he thinks it’s funny to give someone a useless gift so he’d probably have one gift that’s just a random strange item for jokes

BUT ofc he’d have an actual meaningful gift for you (but he’s most definitely giving you the useless one first just to see your reaction)

would have you two go out in hoodies + comfy clothes to get some small little deserts for you guys to eat Christmas Day at a mini mart

Anton

we already know Anton is always online and always planning so he’d have a bunch of ideas and once again an itinerary of what you guys will do this christmas break

SIGHT SEEING ! maybe he’d take you home to jersey to walk through certain streets and plazas to see the lights and snowmen holding hands, If you got too cold (because it can get cold as hell in jersey 😭) he’d bring an extra thicker jacket in his tote bag just in case + let you keep your hand in his coat pocket

MATCHING/COORDINATING CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS he’d have you guys make Christmas tiktoks to keep for himself to watch whenever you two are apart

make a snowman and snow angels with him ommlll it’d be funny how large his angel would be in comparison to yours 😭

depending on how longgg you two have been together he might even take you to meet the fam in jersey and spend the holidays with them too

the gift he’d have for you would be so expensive and would be something that he remembered being associated with your favorite things + hobbies

[midnight-mourning]

Santa's Helper

❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 25❄️❄️

Another silly one for y'all, I'll be honest this was 2 am Midnight who finished this and it's give or take on whether she cooks or not, but I'm gonna say yes for now :D

Prompt: Santa comes to the Daycare to see the kids, and reader dresses up as an elf to help out. A certain attendant thinks they look pretty cute~

Word Count: 1915

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When you initially saw the costume that had been picked out for you, you laughed outright. When you found out that you actually had to wear it, your laughter died in your throat.

"You can't be serious." You gestured to the outfit. "You actually want me to wear that."

Your manager had shrugged. "Santa needs a helper. You already work in the Daycare. Saves me some trouble."

You just look at the outfit with horror, no words for your distress. 

It's an elf costume. Green, with red trim and a hat to match. It came with a belt, ears, and the same shade of green shorts. There were also red and white stripes tights, to your dismay.  It was godawful and you hated it.

But, you didn't have a choice unless you wanted to be fired. And considering you had a job where you got to work with your crush(es) all day every day, you'd rather suck it up and put it on. 

You understand why you had to be the one to do it. It had been your idea for Santa to come to the Daycare in the first place. You'd been pushing for it, honestly. Upper management hadn't seen the point until your argued how good an experience it would be for the kids. 

Therefore, this whole thing was your responsibility, meaning that if you wanted things to go smoothly you had to cooperate so that this went off without a hitch. Besides, it wasn't just the kids you were trying to please. 

When you'd told the attendants your idea, they were over the moon excited about it, while they knew better in terms of Santa being real, having someone come and surprise the kids like that was exciting to them. And to have your crush so thrilled about something you came up with? That feeling was too good to ruin it all over a stupid costume. 

This is the mantra you tell yourself as you stand in the bathroom, having just put the majority of the costume on, save for the hat. 

You look ridiculous, you feel ridiculous. But it's for the boys—the kids, it's for the kids. 

You sigh and shove the hat on, staring at yourself even harder in the mirror. 

There had to be some way you could make this work. You dig in your bag for your makeup, deciding add a bit of Christmas flair with some eyeshadow, and taking a pencil, draw little stars of various styles and sizes under your eyes and across your cheeks. You fix your hair so the hat looks cute, ish. 

You look back to your reflection, it's not the best, but it's better than before. You take a deep breath, and finally leave the bathroom, trudging back to the Daycare. When you arrive, it's empty, save for Sun. 

It's early, the kids weren't going to be here for another hour, and 'Santa' would be here around mid-morning, so your main goal for now was to get set up and prepared essentially. 

Sun hears the door open and shut and turns from setting up the crafts station. 

"Good morning, Sunbeam! How are—" He hesitates when he sees you, your ears start to burn. "—you... today?"

You sigh and drop your bag off in its usual spot. "Good morning, Sunny. I'm fine."

He walks over to you, staring down as his rays spin every so often. 

"You look..." He mumbles something you don't catch. 

You're sure it's probably nothing good. He probably thinks you look silly. "Yeah. I know. Let's just, ignore it, yeah?"

"Oh... Oh! Sorry friend I was um, distracted for a moment. What I meant to say is that you look wonderful! Perfectly in character for today."

You scoff half-hearted. "Thanks, Sun, but you don't have to lie for my sake. It's alright. I'm gonna go get started on Santa prepping, okay?"

You walk off then, completely embarrassed. Had you stuck around you might have heard Sun quietly utter. "But I wasn't lying."

Set up involves creating a holiday scene for where your Santa will sit. You're provided a big chair by management, and using some outdoor holiday decorations, and some spare sheets, create a snowy landscape. The long red carpet you'd found in storage ties up the scene nicely. Now all that's left to do is wait for the kids and 'Santa' to get here. 

You sit down in the chair, flipping through your phone since you have nothing better to do. You can't recall who's playing the big man this year. You think it's that one guy your age from Bonnie Bowl, but you're not too sure. He was nice, you don't know why they picked him for Santa given his age and non-Santa look, but whatever works. You just hope he plays the part like he's supposed to. 

As you're sitting there, you get the acute feeling of being watched. Sure enough, glancing up slightly you see Sun is staring at you, rays fluttering every few moments. You make eye contact and both flinch, going back to what you were doing. Several more times before the kids show up the same thing happens, and you wonder how bad this costume must really be for him to be so fixated on you. 

The kids at least are excited you're dressed up. They say as much as they go about the day, all anxious for when Santa finally shows up. 

And show up he does. You'll admit, the guy underneath that costume does a great job. He bursts into the Daycare, laugh loud and hearty and a sack over his shoulders. He carries with him an air of charisma that few can achieve when playing Santa Claus, and he's great with each of the kids. 

Sun helps to get them organized while you get your coworker situated. While doing so you decide to try for some small talk. 

"Thank you so much for doing this. It's really appreciated." You say, as you stack wrapped boxes that had come from the sack. 

He keeps his voice low so to not blow his cover. "Yeah, of course. This is fun for me compared to fixing bowling lanes all day."

"How do you nail the character so well?" You shake your head. "You're like what, 20 something? No offense."

He laughs. "None taken. This is kind of embarrassing, but I'm part of an improv group. We've been doing a lot of holiday themed practice lately and they always make me be Santa because I can do the voice."

You two continue to chat back and forth for a few more minutes before the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupts you. Startled, you turn around and see Sun standing there, hands clasped in front of him. He seems, tense? To be fair you are too, wanting this to go well. 

"If you're ready, Mr. Claus. The children are ready to begin."

Your coworker gets into character again, laughing. "Of course! Thank you Sun, let's get started, shall we?"

Sun nods, walking back to manage the kids in line and you frown. But, shake it off as the first kid runs up, starting to rattle of his Christmas list the second he's sat down. 

The event proceeds exactly as planned. No upset kids, no arguing over gifts, no crying either. Everything is perfect. 

Well, near perfect. 

You're slightly distracted by helping out your coworker, but you notice how Sun looks over to the two of you every so often. You're not entirely sure why. Yes, your coworker is being incredibly friendly with you, talking directly to you and throwing compliments your way. But it's all in character of course, it's not like he's not keeping up the act as he does it. 

It does click to you however as he leaves that there was more to it than just that. 

You're by the door, saying goodbye and thanking him again, when he pops a question you weren't expecting. 

"This was a lot of fun today. Besides cheering up the kids, I really liked talking to you." He ducks his head a moment, then looks back to you. "I know this is like, not the optimal time for it but would you um, want to go out sometime? Maybe get a coffee and chat?'

Oh. Oh no. 

You hadn't been expecting that at all, you can't even begin to think up a response. 

Fortunately, you don't have to. As a certain someone interjects. 

"So sorry to interrupt! But I'm afraid you're out of luck, Santa." Sun steps forward, putting a hand on your shoulder. "They're taken. Better luck next time, but thank you for stopping by! Buh-bye now."

Sun all but shuts the door in his face, leaning over you to do so. Then he looks down to you, as you're still gaping like a fish. 

He stands upright and turns back around, you hear him clap his hands behind you. "Alright everyone! It's time to enjoy your presents! Remember to play good and play fair, alright? We're going to go have playtime of our own, but if you need anything we'll be there to help!"

Sun takes your hand, and starts leading you through the Daycare, you stumbling behind him as you register what he said finally. 

"T-taken?" You squeak as he marches you to an abandoned section of the playset. He ducks inside, pulling you in with him and then sitting down. 

He points to the spot on the ground across from him and you get the hint, taking a seat. 

Once you do, he speaks. "Yes. Taken. If you'll allow, that is."

"N-no, no complaints here. I just, um. Really?"

Sun nods. "Mmmhmm."

Something clicks then. 

"Wait a minute. Sun, are you jealous?" You reach a hand out to set on his leg. "I hardly know that guy, I wasn't expecting him to ask me out! I um, I've had a crush on someone else, well, someones else, for a long time."

"Who?"

You laugh, not being able to take it. "You, silly! You and Moon both. Trust me, some guy from Bonnie bowl wouldn't be able to change that—"

You're interrupted by Sun's smile meeting your lips. Followed by him doing it again several times over, hands coming up to hold your face. Once he's satisfied he pulls away, sighing. 

"Sorry, Starlight. I, um, got a little excited hearing you say that. I didn't mean to interrupt you, what were you saying?" There's a dreamy lithe to how he speaks, it makes you giggle. 

Your hands come up to hold his, leaning into his touch a tad more. "Honestly, don't think it really matters at this point. I'd rather be doing more of that than talking right now, to be honest. Just wish I wasn't in this silly costume for all this."

Sun kisses your forehead, then presses his against yours. 

"I think you look very cute. That's... part of why I acted so rudely. I was upset he got to see you up close like this."

You chuckle. "Well, you get to see me now, don't you?"

Sun hums in agreement. 

"Then, let's make the most of it."

As you share another chaste kiss, you have to come to the undeniable understanding that you may very well have to thank your manager for making you wear this costume. 

Another kiss distracts you from thinking further. 

On second thought, maybe you'll keep this one to yourself.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Thank you for the fun little request @twomanypockets!! I thought that jealous Sun would go perfectly with it, hope you liked it ^-^

Thanks for reading!

Masterpost link

Tag list (if you would like added, see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

@juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 34

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. Please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Also, Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I've been AWOL for the past few weeks, but I finally got a chance to write again and wanted to get this short part to you before Christmas. It will act as the finale to the first book of A Sweet Mishap - I definitely want to continue writing about this couple, but I think this is a nice way to wrap it up for the year and I'll come back with a sequel in the new year.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of violence, rape, therapy, depression, sex

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I rise early, with the sun like usual despite not having to work today. I refuse to get out of bed until I absolutely have to. But I prop myself up with an obnoxious amount of pillows and drag my laptop over from the empty side of the bed onto my lap. I’m determined to submit all my assessments today before my session with Dr. Katelyn, slowly removing stresses one at a time.

I carefully read through each word and sentence making minor edits as I go and then with a deep breath hit submit on each one. For once, I actually feel highly confident with my essays, knowledge and with the grade that I hope to receive. Despite working myself to the bone all semester with so many priorities to balance I feel I actually managed to submit work that I’m proud of. I attribute it to my steadily improving mental health and clarity.

Once I close down my college tabs I decide to try to do a little planning of my own for the summer. Jensen’s organised so much, a lot that I don’t even know yet–just that he’s got surprises that I’ll like. I grew up in such a small area, yet I know he’s mostly lived in the larger cities, so my plan is to give him more of the country. I research diners and hiking trails and make sure some of my favorite spaces are still operating. The list of things I want to do is extensive, but I know, as much as I want to take the full three months, Stewie will need me back at Mamma Jo’s. He’s agreed to a month so far, but I could tell even that long concerned him. He only agreed becuase he knows he can rely on the juniors, which I promised to train up before I leave Thankfully, most of them have a lot of potential and are fast learners. As I’m searching through sites a Facetime notification pops up and I answer instantly.

“Hey Darlin’! You look comfy.”

“Good morning, Handsome. I am, but there is one thing that would make me comfier…”

“Less than a week and you can fall asleep in my arms every night for a month.”

“Except when we visit my parents…”

“Yeah, except then. But you’ll still be nearby, not a country away.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait! I was actually just researching places I want to take you back home.”

“Really? Any hints?”

I shake my head, “Nope! You’ve got your secrets, I’ve got mine.”

“Fair enough. You got therapy soon?”

“Two hours.”

“They’ll probably need me on set by then. I just wanted to check in while I had a chance.We’re pushing hard to be finished by Friday, I have no doubts. Then there’s just the wrap party that night, then I’ll see you.”

“I wish you could come to my last show…”

“I wish I could show you off at the wrap party. But it’s okay, we get a whole month together in Texas and that means so much more.”

“I really can’t wait. I submitted my assessments this morning, so I’ve just got therapy, a few more shows and my last few shifts at the cafe. I’m counting down each day and each road block. You know I’ve brocken so many of my New Years Resolutions, and I couldn’t be happier. And I owe most of that to you, so thank you.”

“Anything for you. I love seeing that smile on your face, especially knowing I helped put it there. But that’s just it, you’re doing all the work, I’m just here to cheer you on and offer support when you need it. You really are a star, I just want to watch you glow and reignite that spark that others tried to dim.”

I smile at him, then bite my lip as I remember I conversation from my last session with the doctor. “Jens…I thanks…Also, I’ve been meaning to…” He stays ever patient and smiles as I ramble, letting me get there on my own, “I talked to Dr Katelyn last week about my issues with intimacy and some fears, concerns, thoughts about our holiday. I know we’ll be alone alot and likely sharing a bed while we’re at your place and I just…I want to be open to things, but I feel like I’ve never-Nothing’s really ever been on my terms. I’ve always just gone along with what the guy wants. She suggested that maybe I should treat this relationship like a first. Like I’m in highschool and we’re touching each base. Slow and at my pace.”

He nods the whole time. “Of course. Everything is on your terms with me. I’d never push. I’m happy to cuddle, maybe make out and if we don’t have sex during the trip that’s fine. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like I’m expecting anything, because I’m not. I just want to spend time with you. And if you decide it’s too much to sleep in the same bed every night, you can go into the guestroom whenever you want. We can make sure it’s set up nicely for you so you can have a comfortable escape when you need it. A space that’s all yours and I won’t ever go into unless you want me to. We can set it up on the first day if you want. You can choose whatever decor you want.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that. But Jens, what if…What if I want to…you know, have sex at some point?”

“If we get through the first three bases and you are 100 per cent on board and comfortable with going the home run then we tackle that base like all the others. Slow and at your pace. And if we start and you need to stop then you just tell me and we stop, but I’ll be reading all the signs your body gives me and if I think it’s too much I’ll stop it, just like last time.”

I nod, “Okay. Do you mind if I continue to talk to Dr. Kate about it today?”

“I hope you do. But you never need my permission to talk about anything with her. There’s no NDA here, and even if there was it wouldn’t pertain to our relationship. Anything between us is fair game. I think you already know that, but I’ll remind you as much as you need, that will never change.”

“Thanks.” I glance down at the time on my computer screen. “I should start getting ready.”

“Alright, Beautiful. I’ll talk to you tonight. Have a good session and a great day.”

“You too-You have a great-You know what I mean.”

“I do. Bye.” He blows me a kiss as he ends the call and I can’t help but blush. As I drag myself out of the comfy bed and into the shower I think back to that day in December. I really did win the lottery when I accidentally spilt that hot cocoa on him. That was the best sweet mishap I’ve ever made.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala

@lmg14, @superrey, @kamisobsessed

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[studentbyday]

week 3: let's get this bread! (famous last words...)

Omg I can't believe it's only week 3, sm has happened, I swear more time has gone by than actually has 😅😮‍💨🙃 Starting this week feeling a little discouraged because I still have a backlog of schoolwork to catch up on, but let's see if I can get my hopes up again by the end of this week! 🙏🏻🤞🏻If I want to achieve my goals, I need to drastically reduce my screen time. Here's to only using my phone for essential communications and for music, guided meditations, and pilates/yoga videos this week! 😤

mid-week update: this week has been a f*cking mess. mentally, emotionally, physically, existentially. i have not touched the db course so far which was my main goal for this week...every week i'm trying to add something new. i had my reservations about keeping on my original plan for this week, knowing i ended the last one still behind on school, but i went ahead with it, wondering, hoping if it was at all possible. well. we'll see where i'm at by the end of this week. at the very least i'll be closer to caught up.

end-of-week update: posting this early so i don't have to on sunday. i'm making progress but it's still slower than expected. insomnia is a problem. my nerves feel pretty frayed. must find ways to decrease the stimulation. time to reinstate the no-phone mornings (probs should add to my “bingo”) and a social media detox... not sure if i'll have time to post again next week. i find it hard to keep up. i'll probably come back if/when i get things under control...so bye for now (and i sincerely hope your semester is going better than mine 💗) 👋🏻

Academics:

Check and send pathology assignment!!!! ✅

Confirm immunology discussion due date!! ✅

Watch documentary on Wangari Maathai ✅ (glad i did this first thing on monday after sending the path assignment because it was really inspiring and lifted my spirits enough to keep going 💗)

Meet for pathology assignment ✅ (2 members in my group are like...really high-energy and gung-ho. i'm glad cuz that means it's a lighter load for me but woah was that overwhelming at first 😅 and the thing is...these guys aren't the first i've encountered like this. and i'm low-key jealous of them... they're the kind of people who give off the aura of “i'm capable of doing it all” because they're that driven...and based on what i've seen of them, i don't think they're faking it.)

Read all assignment descriptions for global health before you... ✅

Email chosen essay topic to TA by Thursday ✅

Finish M1 pathology by Wednesday ✅

Complete pathology M1 case questions

Finish half of M2 pathology by Sunday

Start pathology M2 case questions

Finish half of M2 global health by Friday ✅

Finish half of M3 immunology by Sunday

Finish M2 microbiology ~ (made some progress but not finished)

Start M3 microbiology

Participate in global health meeting ✅ (wasn't bad but also...not sure when this happened but i've gotten quite nervous speaking up in class and then in my overstimulation, forget some of what i had intended to say, ughhh just gotta keep practicing...)

Complete immunology discussion ✅

Send other pathology assignment ✅

Complete global health discussion ✅

Health:

Meditate x1

Journal x3

Yoga x2

Cardio x1

Pilates x1 (the first time i made it through a 30 min class in one sitting whooooo!!!!!)

Other life things:

Change bedding

Laundry

Music in My Head:

andante spianato et grande polonaise brillante

study music // 1 // 2 // 3

a strange playlist for strange people

piano trio no. 4 in e minor, op. 90, b. 166, “dumky”: i. lento maestoso / ii. poco adagio

pavane op. 50

Things I'm looking forward to:

end of the semester

the height of autumn

christmas

My not-bingo bingo (thinking I'll recycle this every month lol):

[definitelynotriana]

Hey we just got the Disventure Camp All Stars Intro!

It was so good and they improved so much when it comes to animating the scenes :D

Let’s see what we found..

- So it starts off with Emily pushing off Oliver, Marcus and Nina. So by that I’m guessing that Emily is going to be an antagonist, she doesn’t seems very nice. And will probably cause more drama between the contestants.

- And JAMES AND LAKE LETS GO!! These two seem to get along pretty well. I reckon Aiden, James and Lake are going to be a power trio like Hunter, Ally and Tess last season.

- Speaking of Hunter and Ally, I think they might’ve had an issue that happened before the season started. They also could’ve started dating are now becoming extremely toxic and hostile towards each other. And they must be really loud for Fiore to making them to shut up.

- Also I reckon that Fiore and Alec’s arguments and issues haven’t been resolved, from this photo I predict that he’s just telling her all the things that make her a “mistake”, and I don’t think Fiore cares just by seeing the look on her face

- Miriam is on the look out immediately, considering that she was the winner of season 1, and her age. She’s probably thinking that people are going to target her, (which I don’t blame her for) and is probably looking for an immunity totem. I don’t think she’ll make it far though.

- Now the 2 antagonists, Yul and Grett. From the poster of Grett we can already tell that this will discuss weight loss, and her happiness and stuff. This relationship will most likely be toxic since well, Yul’s in this relationship. It’s either that Yul forced her to lose weight to keep dating her or Grett did it for her own happiness and Yul and Grett are actually a good couple, (though I doubt it.) Most likely, Yul will probably use Grett to get further in the game.

- The look on Jake’s face! I really hope he gets a redemption arc this season and makes it far this time, I thought Aiden and Jake would be friends but from this intro I really don’t think so anymore, hopefully I’m wrong? Anyway, seems like Tom and Aiden become friends, although I don’t think Tom and Aiden will start dating considering Aiden already has a good boyfriend. And by Ashley’s concerned face (not this photo), I reckon she’ll try and help Jake from getting jealous.

- We got a new trio!! And Ellie and Gabby! I never thought that Tess would be into painting, but it would be great for these three to get along this season. Especially away from the Ally and Hunter drama.

- Also the way James looks at Aiden!! So cute, also since when were Aiden’s eyes so round?? It looks different, or is it just me?

- And the season 1 cast! I think Jake is going to have some insecurity issues about Tom, considering that his trust has been broken many times. But I hope that Ashley and Miriam would help them (especially Jake) to be a better couple ❤️

- Connor and Riya being center stage! I bet they’re the main couple, I think over the time before the season Riya got famous and became rich, although from this shot she seems to be fame hungry or whatever you call it.

- Also James and Aiden are holding hands! I love them, Ellie and Gabby have their usual stare and stuff, and Grett and Yul as a couple too.

That’s all for now! And also congrats on finishing reading my very long predictions based on the amazing intro! Thank you Odd Nations Cartoons for working so hard!

You won’t hear from me for a couple days because I’ll busy for the next few days so I hope you understand if I don’t reply to anything for the meanwhile. I’ll maybe post again after Christmas next week!

See you next time!

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

2023, it cannot be overstated, was a terrible year for me. We started out strong with an episode of True Love that turned out in fact to be entirely false and not reciprocated. (I've got over that, finally, but it was awkward... I posted about it a bit at the time, along with a lot of what I'm about to tell you.) Anyway, I also basically didn't eat for two weeks in January: only partially related to that. February was even more terrible, but with one bright spot: the terribleness pushed me to finally seek professional help for my longstanding anorexia. I was finally going to choose to recover and it would never bother me again.

Haha anyway I was also severely depressed and anxious so that happened. I had a good solid try at recovery and it seemed like it was going pretty well for a while, yay. Went back to uni after a year out, in the middle of the year. Ended up living with my brother 'just for the semester and after that you've got to find your own accommodation' (I'm still at his place). Anyway things got real bad and I honestly can't remember most of that patch, but I can still see the scars.

Anyway. You're probably wondering why I'm saying this stuff. In November, December, I can't remember precisely when, the Inklings Christmas challenge got posted.

Severely depressed, barely doing anything, only surviving and waiting for things to get better while doctors assessed me to figure out what was going on behind the major depressive disorder (spoiler: undiagnosed ASD), I said, well, why not. I still had remnants of my previous overachieving nature, so why not write something for all twelve days of Christmas, not just a single short story or scene? And I dug back in my memory for the fragments of a plot I worked out when I was twelve years old, remembered the characters, remembered that the main character was one I'd internally laughed about accidentally making autistic in the past.

So I went, what if I just pretend that the story I'd imagined was five years earlier, pretend that the novel I had never written was actually written, and write a slice-of-life sequel to it, featuring the same characters? I remember going to a session with my psych at the time and telling her about this story, but vaguely and quickly, because we were going to run out of time. I talked like I intended to and expected to finish it, but internally, I was going: I will not finish it. I've already proven that I cannot stick to things. (I have a lot of fragments of writing from that year which I will likely never finish, and which had no deeper structure than whatever occurred to my medication addled brain.)

And I went, what should I name this story? It's got to have the word Patience in there, because her name is Patience and it amuses me and amusement is running real freaking thin at the moment. I tried out several titles, none of which I can remember, and none of them suited. At last, because the word hope had been rotating within my brain for so long, I picked The Patience of Hope, and I drew graphics and titled all the chapters and did research to title them and I can't remember any of it anymore so I don't know why I gave them the titles I did.

I think I scheduled about chapter three before chapter one dropped on Christmas Day. I remember there being author's notes that at least hinted that I'd entirely pre-written it, because I'd intended to do so, when I wrote the author's note for the very first chapter. But most of them I wrote on the day they were supposed to drop.

I don't think anyone read it at the time; I certainly don't remember such a thing happening, though after it was completed people did read it, and do still. (It's still on my website, and also on my ao3 under the title mentioned above.) But I wrote it, this silly little thing that spawned a whole character and series of novellas I haven't finished yet. More than one character, actually; one of the main characters is Nathan, who didn't exist in my original concept at all. And another character mentioned is Hannah, her aunt, whose storyline is deeply personal to me.

I can't remember how long it is. The writing is at times very bad and the storyline vague and choppy. I had no true plans when I started writing that story: not even to finish it. It does qualify as a novella for length, but I forget where in that wide range it comes in. But I finished it.

That... meant the world to me, actually, in the state I was in. I finished it in January, and two weeks later I was being very seriously told by my doctor that if anything got any worse, in any way, I was to immediately present to emergency and request/demand admission. They didn't; I was prescribed medication that, this time, actually helped to manage the whole crisis thing going on, and I haven't been that close to an admission since (nor needed to be, not really).

So The Patience of Hope is very special to me, as you can see, because I completed it at a time I felt so strongly that I couldn't complete anything except - well, I don't suppose I have to elaborate. It's a fun, fluffy little story with underlying angst and stress and grief but above it all, it's cheerful. A romance begins, which surprised me, because I was literally just writing whatever came into my head, and apparently what came into my head was a character who hadn't been previously mentioned or thought of, asking Patience out on a date.

And the way Nathan accepts and understands and loves Patience for herself and not for what he hopes that she will be (if my phrasing seems odd, it's a Carpenters reference - "Love Me For What I Am") was healing to write. The entire story was written between when I started being assessed for ASD and when I was officially diagnosed, and I can really really see in Patience's words what I felt and still do sometimes feel - the hesitation and uncertainty and distrust of oneself. She was the first character I ever wrote who was stated to be autistic, though I'd written ones before deliberately making them autistic in my head, but they never said they were autistic on the page.

I don't remember the timeframe of the next bit, but there was a writing challenge to write a novel from start to finish in - six months, I think? It was a while. - and I saw it and went, oh, I could go back and write the novel about Patience that I first conceptualised.

Which I did, over the next few months. From start to finish, that draft is eighty-four thousand words in its current, unedited form, and I expect it to end up somewhere between eighty and ninety thousand - I always edit down on a sentence level, and up on a scene and chapter level, so it tends to balance out somewhat. Especially the earlier sections, it's pretty sparse before I hit my stride, and I also struggled to finish it in a way that felt satisfying to me, and I need to build up the community aspect more - and introduce her aunt Hannah more throughout.

What's the novel about, you may ask? And don't ask for the title, because I made a working title, and I haven't figured out a proper replacement yet. The novel is about Patience at a younger age, I forget what; early teens, I think, self-isolating and shy and scared and very very rigid. (It's a lot of fun comparing the Patience of this novel to the much more relaxed, but still characteristic Patience of The Patience of Hope five or seven years later. She's the same person, only grown up rather, and in a very positive way.)

In a mechanism I haven't yet worked out properly and will definitely be rewriting, she unexpectedly gains an adoptive sister, Rhona - named after a tea cosy in a pattern book I used when I was eleven or twelve to knit an atrocious and very wonky stuffed dog. Anyway, Rhona is a bit younger, a bit more extroverted, a bit prettier and a bit more new and exciting. And a bit disruptive to Patience's neatly ordered life.

Cue emotional explosions I'd compare to Holly and Lucy in Lockwood and Co., and say it was based on that, if I'd read that before I planned this book out. Rhona is doing her best to fit in to the family, but she's also showing up Patience's inability to fit in, so there's insecurity tying in to it.

Patience spends most of the book hating her with a passion of greater or lesser intensity despite everything Rhona tries to do to bridge the gap. And then, in a move unrepentantly stolen from Jean Webster's Dear Enemy, the house burns down. Oh, the horror! Oh, the shock! Oh, the fact that Patience was the only one within range of Rhona and had to drag her out! Oh, the hospital whump afterwards! *coughs* Forget I said that last one. Anyway Rhona gets off pretty lightly, while Patience... does not get off so lightly. She spends a while in hospital, but luckily, the combination of everything brings her and Rhona together finally, and they all live happily ever after.

Well, that's what the original plan said, anyway. Back when I was twelve and didn't know interpersonal dynamics.

While it's true that the house burning down and everything associated with that does help Patience and Rhona to get along better, that's not the end of the book. The house burns down at the turn between parts two and three, fifty-three thousand words in. Any mathematicians reading this will observe there are still thirty thousand words to go. There are nine chapters in each part.

The last three chapters total fifteen thousand words between them. My original plan calls for three thousand word chapters. Again, the mathematicians are going to observe that this doesn't add up. These chapters average out five thousand words each.

That's because I really wanted to mention one specific character earlier in the novel, who gets a passing and no longer timeline compliant mention in The Patience of Hope. Patience's aunt Hannah, who, yes, I named after myself, and who also struggles with anorexia nervosa.

Chapter twenty-five is titled, "A Will to Live". Originally intended to be about Patience's depression following her discharge from hospital after the house burned down, and then regaining her mental equilibrium, it became a bitter sarcasm that hurt every time I re-read the title while I was drafting it.

(I did cry quite a bit about this, including while actively writing. Sobbing and still writing the next sentence. I hope it comes across in the final work.)

Because Hannah does not win her battle. She is not a success story, or a happy ending, or a triumph. She dies alone in an apartment that hasn't been cleaned for weeks, fridge almost empty: two days before she's agreed to go into treatment. There are three big killers in anorexia: suicide, heart failure and malnutrition. And Hannah Shepherd dies of heart failure, leaving, as I heard in a video I strongly do not recommend, recently, "a bleeding, girl-shaped hole in her family".

It's traumatic and horrible and full of grief, but they manage somehow to go on. Patience is kept in the dark as to what's going on, at Hannah's request; she just knows that she died of some sickness. After all, she's at THE prime age to develop an eating disorder of her own, and even though you'd think someone dying would make you reconsider, unfortunately, eating disorders are mental illnesses and don't discriminate. (Besides, I wrote this story, and Karen Carpenter is a special interest of mine. Doesn't stop me relapsing.)

And then three chapters later (though, realistically, I'm going to rearrange the chapter balance to add at least one more here, since I struggled to fill a few of the chapters in terms of word count), the story's over, and everything is okay - just okay, not good, but with hope that it will be.

The first draft has been finished for - I don't know how long. Looking back to former posts makes it seem like I finished it on the last day of April last year, which would make it eight months and 21 days since I completed the draft. I think that's long enough to go back and redraft, don't you? I was working on continuing to draft Vaniah's story, but given that it's not singing to me right now, maybe I should jump in to editing this and see where I get to - I can always go back to Vaniah and Anneka instead, even though I've left them at a profoundly difficult spot. (While we're on the topic of dying from anorexia? Yeah. Except that is a story of recovery and hope.)

All that to say, you might hear more about Patience, and Rhona, and Jude, and Marcia, and Hannah, and Nathan, and everyone else that makes that story what it is, soon. I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and I really do think Patience's story needs to be refined, so that eventually I can show the world. If anyone wants, I can pull out excerpts too, if I'm brave enough. Please tell me your favourite aspect of this story, whether the novel or The Patience of Hope or whatever it may be. Ask me questions. I can ramble. Please.

[ytdn]

Finished Veilguard

so, I finished Dragon Age Veilguard having played all 3 previous games right before it (hence why I only started after christmas) and here's my thoughts having finished 5 minutes ago

SPOILERS AHEAD obviously

THINGS I LIKED

SOLAAAAAS. Like, he was the main reason I was excited for this game, how he got treated would be the make or break for me and I'm soooooooo happy that he was written with exactly the respect he deserved. He was proud, he was compassionate, he was a backstabbing dickhead, everything was perfect and I looked forward to every one of his talks with Rook. and I, being a solavellen truther for 8 years now naturally picked the change his mind ending and I got my reunion which is all I really wanted (I would have liked if it was longer but I understand its not solavellan simulator even if I want it to be)

GREY WARDENS I have loved them since Origins and I'm soooo glad they got a big focus along with the blight like in my heart that's what dragon age is all about (and naturally I rolled a Warden so it worked soooo well for me)

On that subject, I was very impressed with how well they integrated the Origins into the plot/dialogue like if I didn't know better I would say the story was written for an Elven Warden (it could be the case that its different for other faction/race combinations but idk)

They put soooo much effort into the character quests like its funny coming from just playing Inquisition where some characters have like a 5 minute character quest and others its an hour, here all 7 playable companions have fully realised multi part quests with bosses and everything

the gameplay is the most fun I've had in DA, sorry I don't like quasi-tactical gameplay so them committing to full action rpg is great for me

this is probably the best "presented" dragon age game and part of that is just because of the passing of time (and also showed me that I really haven't played any recent games except for BG3). There was 0 jankiness, the graphics were beautiful, the music is beautiful and the environments were really fun to run around in

the plot itself was extremely well paced, we didn't have the huge amount of downtime that Inquisition had, the shortness of Origins or the all-over-the-place-ness of DA2

THE LORE! I was so pleased seeing everything we'd speculated about was right :D

I liked pretty much all the companions with Davrin and Bellara being my standouts (Davrin especially bc I romanced him :D)

The whole end section from the Point of No Return was just... stunning. Like, I've never expected DA to have a good ending sequence - the siege of Denerim is laden with bugs, DA2's ending is dramatic on a character level but contrived as fuck, and DAI's ending is so sudden that everyone considers an expansion pack the real ending. Here though we got a 5 hour extravaganza of gauntlets, boss battles, and what I actually did not expect (see my thoughts later) actual character deaths that stuck. It was a complete mood whiplash and I loved it.

The Siege of Weisshaupt is getting a whole bullet point bc as setpieces go it was absolutely stunning, I really felt the panic and the terror fighting the blight and by the end of it I was shaking. Also Giant Ghil'inan face was hilarious.

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE

You know the line about characters written like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy? well uh if you want an example this is what a significant amount of the dialogue especially in character quests is. Like I was rolling my eyes at multiple points bc the script would just not! let characters get angry and stay angry! The worst was after Weisshaupt when I thought there was gonna be some good friction between Davrin and Lucanis and it was just. cut off. I wasn't expecting DA2 level of character friction (and that wouldn't be good anyway, I have my own problems with DA2's character system) but like. Inquisiton level would have been nice!

Specifically on Lucanis he was very disappointing as a character for me bc they introduced him as a guy with a demon stuck in him and they barely explored. Like the last guy we had with that issue was Anders and well. I was expecting more with Lucanis?

Emmrich was another character I liked but I wish they hadn't made his choice to become/not become a lich be about saving Manfred it felt like a cheap way to avoid the actual moral/ethical concerns.

There felt like a lot of punch pulling in quests with killing people. like I should have got the option for Lucanis to stab his cousin, and in Bellara's quest I groaned when we found out her brother wasn't evil really and all her stressing over having to kill him was for nothing. This is probably why I liked Davrin and (the final part anyway) Taash's character quests my favourite bc they did not pull the gruesome punches. And also why having to kill off two of your companions in the finale shocked me so much bc the game had lulled me into thinking they didn't have the balls.

Some of the "Outings" and "Conversations" felt like the worse parts of a genshin character quest like sorry you are wasting my time going on a date. please tell me your tragic backstory and fuck off thanks.

I'll have to look at what divergences are available but from my PoV the first time round the only "big" choices are Minrathous vs Treviso, how you treat Solas (and I assume you can change your mind on that in the end) and who dies in the finale. Now true, they've been decreasing the amount of choices ever since Origins but like it felt very obvious here especially with character quests, like I should have been able to get Lucanis to kill his cousin (can you tell I hate that guy). This does make me wonder about replay-ability overall.

EDIT: Oh yeah I wish we'd seen more of the Butcher bc that one conversation turned him into THE most interesting villain and its sad thats all we got

EDIT: something that bothered me in early game and I kind of forgot about but now remembered is how like. blase everyone is about the elven gods coming back and being evil? like thats a dozen levels of religious blasphemy there. and it was a real shame they didn't have any elves following them bc like. they should!

THINGS I AM NEUTRAL ABOUT

I am kind of sad there wasn't really a political plot here (like the Landsmeet or Wicked Eyes) but then again I hated Wicked Eyes so I'm not gonna miss it

The absence of the mage-templar conflict makes sense and I absolutely won't miss it but it is crazy playing this right after DA2 and DAI where its such a big part of the plot and people's characterization. Like there's a big inbuilt friction that just isnt there.

I never thought they'd kill off Davrin at Weisshaupt for obvious reasons but like I wish they'd given a better explanation that "blights weird now idk". Like I was genuinely expecting Razikale to pop up again bc Davrin hadn't killed him properly or something

villains were completely one dimensional psychopaths but again, DA has never been known for its good or interesting villains. They were more successful and fun than Corypheus anyway.

I was slightly annoyed that there wasn't an apostate that betrays you and then I realised that's Solas. Again.

I wish there'd been more cameos from previous games but again I understand why they would limit that bc its mostly fanservice. Also since I picked Treviso I assume I miss a lot of Dorian content with the Shadow Dragons.

Taash's storyline did have me rolling my eyes at various bits bc well, its pretty on the nose. But her voice actress is amazing and really sold it and her whole final quest made my cry buckets.

Varric felt a little boring for me for most of the story but then we got the reveal at the end and I was like huh. that makes sense.

so, thats my thought vomit immediately after playing, I will probably change my mind a bit after letting it settle but basically like every other DA game, its got good bits and bad bits. and I will admit that the final questline ups my rating of the game a LOT like before I would have given it a 6-7 but now I might even give it an 8. idk.

anyway now I can finally unmute the tags and see what people are discoursing about lmao.

[7rus7m3]

BIG 101 PENTAGON THEORY // SPOILERS FOR CANTO VI, DEMIAN (book), LITTLE PRINCE (book), LEVIATHAN, LIBRARY OF RUINA, a little bit of Divine Comedy too

RG - Red Gaze, PT - Purple Tear, LP - Little Prince, DC - Divine Comedy. Grammar mistakes can appear due to me not being very fluent in English.

So… After the new Demian scene appeared, I found it convenient to finally unleash my Dante=Sinclair pentagon theory, based on some assumptions I made from reading the source books of all of these characters. Before I start, I need to aknowledge some other things:

1. I don’t find this theory as something that actually will happen, since it may be based on my own biased opinions towards some of the characters included

2. Most of my assumptions are made through reading into intertext of the source books and how it would look more cool to potentially appear in a game. PM interpretation of books may be completely opposite from mine, so ig we will see how close I was later

3. I don’t use other sinners for my theory, since most of them are not marked, can’t use shin from what we know and/or mostly have finished self-centered story. The only one that probably will be added to pentagon is Faust, since her source is too important for Hesse as a writer and the motif of soul duality exists as an important topic in both Demian and Faust books. Also she knows too much about the Stars from what we can see in the prologue and later in her dialogues with us.

Part 1. Purple Tear

PT=Demian’s mother feels like canon already for me, but maybe just because I discussed it too much with my friends. So the main point of this theory is that Demian and PT appear to have the same main themes as characters and have similar powers, so him being Iori’s son will be natural. For example, the snake theme being introduced to us with Iori’s snake eyes in Leviathan manga or with the blue snake representing Demian on LCB Sinclair art. Multidimensional traveling powers, Shin being mostly PT’s disciples thing etc etc. Also Demian had purple eyes on his first promotional art and even though it was changed later, it is still an important thing that was planned by PM. For me it's an obvious moment for a lot of reasons, but in reality they just feel like relatives and the more you think about it the more it becomes obvious. 

As Demian’s mother, she becomes frau Eva naturally and potential Sinclair milfhunter’s interest. 

Also I believe in Iori as a higher-up person in Limbus Company assumption. As a person, who sees countless possibilities, her choices on sinners of LCB feels natural and the fact that Vergilius out of all people becomes our guide just approves it to me. 

So I added ‘Demian’ to her as a source just to start, but we can also add ‘Little Prince’ as I believe that she also represents the snake from the start of Prince’s adventure on Earth and his end on it. The Snake claims to have some sort of space-traveling power after all and while representing Birth and Death of Prince on Earth, she's a good pick for a mother figure representation.

Part 2. Red Gaze

Not too much to say here, but the obvious things we know. The Shin user triangle, even though Verg and Demian probably ain’t ever met each other once, still exists in the context of this theory. We can or can not draw a line between Demian and Vergilius, but I like to do it for the sake of making a point how they both are PT’s disciples. 

The christmas trauma line here is mostly for funsies, but it’s obviously not a coincidence on how the whole Sinclair’s family killing incident happened at the same time as Vegilius’ orphanage incident and how both suspicious shin users just watched them suffer to mentor them later. 

Dante and RG are connected through Divine Comedy, which is told directly from the game. 

Part 3. Demian

The most interesting and most intertextually written character in the game.

Sinclair being the rose became more believable to me than him being the fox after a new scene, but I still think both can be true. As we know from Demian book - Sinclair is final destination of Demian’s journey, from whom Max parted for unknown reasons (basically not answered his letters while doing his own fun stuff ig) and even tried to adapt to live in the world ignoring his marked nature (the “I am actually a lieutenant” scene in the 7th chapter). He is meeting Sinclair at first to part with him later just to end up becoming a metaphorical part of him at the end, probably dying physically. The same happens with Prince and Rose relationships in the LP. From them meeting suddenly to part later because of Prince’s complicated feelings to Prince finally coming back to her after learning how to love her and realizing her importance for his existence as a person in the metaphysical form, leaving his physical body behind. The story is too similar for Sinclair to not be Rose. The main counterargument here is the fact that we don’t know when Demian started his journey and Sinclair quoting dialogue of LP with fox. I still believe that Sinclair-Rose theory is more likely though, but Sinclair-Fox is still leading us to doomed yaoi in the end.

The Demian-Beatrice part comes from ‘Demian’ as a source too. Sinclair met Beatrice as his muse and basically Demian’s replacement as an image of his own ideals in life, she became a reason for him to stop his self-destruction path. Young love for Sinclair here is more of a reason to keep moving forward to become a better person than actual loving feeling. She is a mythological muse, but not a romantic interest fully. And in an attempt of engraving her image (haha engraving aspect), he accidentally draws Demian instead. We can put it as a direct equation of her to Demian and as a method of inserting an androgynous archetype into Demian’s character. I think of Demian-Beatrice as a cool way to introduce us to Paradiso later with him being our new guide instead of Vergilius. It will become a more logical guess later, in the context of the main part of this theory.

Part 4. Dante and Sinclair

So… Dante is a book version of Sinclair with part of Demian’s soul inside him theory… The main thing from where we should start to think about this is the whole number dilemma within Sinclair’s coat. He should’ve been the 10th Sinner before Dante appeared, but then got changed to 11th. Which is funny since 1.0 and 1.1 is a funny version number calambour. So, questions that theories answers:

1.Demian having sudden interest in Dante and giving him riddles that mostly answers the nature of more of a Demian himself as a person, than giving Dante actual usable information

2.Dante seem to have mark 

3.”What will become of me who have been robbed by me”

4.Sinclair is the only sinner we resonated with out of his Canto

5.Sinclair Canto only focusing on the first two chapters of the book, but not taking it as full. His Canto takes not even half of a book, but focuses on a really small part of it. Moby-Dick is a pre-story in Canto V, same basically for Canto I and Canto IV, we are close to the ending of CaP in Canto II and we have seen the true ending of WH in one of the Mirror Worlds with Cathy and Hareton.

6. Why they aren't changing numbers on Sinclair's coat for six Canto already

7. How Demian is able to understand us and how we are able to deeply understand Demian's feelings

8. Why we have any connections to Demian in the past and why we owe him a drawing of all things (Sinclair was a painter in the book)

9. Star is the main motivation of Dante

10. The whole engraving aspect thing. Again, Sinclair was a painter in the book and used drawing as a way to analyze his instinctive feelings

11. Dante having religious motifs and powers associated with either Tree of Life or Tree of Knowledge. Sinclair’s EGO “Branch of Knowledge” naming based on that

12. Dante’s White Night motifs. White Night is basically an Antichrist, but also a God, which connects it with the concept of both god and demon and connecting it with an Abraxas

Maybe some other questions are answered too if you think about it for a little. This is just a very solid assumption that will explain why Demian is so important for us and why Dante seems like a descendant of the Star in the prologue. As a character having another big source book I also believe in him having his own Canto and if he is a part of Dante's character then we should have the duo Canto for both Dante and Demian.

Main thing is how it happened. It's mainly fanfiction from now on. We know that there are Mirror Worlds where the whole book plot is already happened at some point (Cathy and Hareton scene in C6). So one of these basically is the one where Sinclair journey happened some other way. Maybe it was the one, where Demian helped him before the whole Kromer situation happened. After that moment in book Sinclair fastly falls back to his family and stops questioning their beliefs, so in my theory he could after all have a prosthetic operation that he was destined to before incident. That way we have his life going more calmly and as a son of prosthetic factory owner he could become a big and rich person. That would explain why Panther, Lion and Wolf were very excited over killing him. So, Sinclair of this universe goes over his way just like book Sinclair and participate in the whole June-985 thing. What else happened in June? World War 1 start. Sounds stupid, but WW1 is the main thing to change the world in Demian as a book. So the start of new world is destined to be in June-985 in the City setting, which represents WW1 starting in the Real World. The whole thing happens, and Demian either dies or merges with Sinclair to become some sort of part of him. To prevent the whole June-985 thing from happening, Sinclair travels back in time (which basically not the same, but another Mirror World) using Golden Bough and tries to engrave something that is a key to preventing the whole mass death thing. Limbus World Demian is pissy with Demian from future trying to stop the new World from happening, so he confronts us, but tries to do it in his own way. That way Dante is Sinclair from future from other mirror world and is partly a Demian himself.

In the LP, Pilot also is a child-like adult, really similar to Little Prince in some way. I personally like to read his journey with Prince as a metaphor for himself maturing and letting go his childish side, which Is again connects Dante to Demian.

So, Dante=other Sinclair=Pilot=partly Demian.