#mahi and jay

[voidsteffy]

Promises

Jai (Mirchi) x fem!OC Madhu

A/N: @mahi-wayy asks me to write a Jai fic and I write a Jai fic, it's as simple as that. After that Rajasaab snippet that thrust me back into the immaculate Mirchi first half Darling feelz, I was held at gunpoint to relive my Mirchi days (I was the one holding the gun btw). Angsty ending beware. Some violence. idk I suck at feelers for fic segments. Can't reveal the ending sorry. Tell if there's anything I must add. Btw, not proofread!

Word Count: 2368 words

Glossary: Mavayya - father-in-law Atthayya - mother-in-law

“I’ve never seen an Anthropology major so against peace.”

That’s what Jai said to her after the rest of the house had finally left her alone. A few hours ago, Madhu had showed up at the doorstep with bloody knuckles and a few bruises. He had kept mum when the rest of his relatives, now almost like her family too, fretted over her and her slight bruises. To their credit, though they were happy that Madhu was getting involved in matters of the town’s welfare, they were very worried that she might have gotten seriously hurt.

“I’m not against peace Jai. I just think that sometimes it might necessitate slight aggression.”

Jai’s face scrunched up in inexplicable worry, and for a moment she felt crippling guilt. Madhu winced as she angled herself towards him in bed, feeling quite less energetic by the minute. He avoided her gaze but she had felt the tension and anger simmering in his eyes. His jaw was taut, his gaze avoidant from where he sat at the foot of the bed.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For defending the farmers by beating those goons or for getting hurt in the process?”

“For getting caught.”

Jai rolled his eyes and his hands grabbed hers so sharply, desperately. He slid down from the bed, crawling onto his knees to be beside her. He kissed her bruised knuckles, running his fingers over them as gently as he could.

Most of the people who knew her, saw Madhumati, the jovial city girl. But he was the first one to see the fire in her heart, the way she cared so much about protecting the defenceless. Figures, that he’d fall for the one girl who cared for social service as keenly as his father whom he’d never known until a few days ago. Maybe that was why his mother was reluctant about her in the beginning, but it was impossible not to see the pure goodness behind whatever Madhu said or did.

“Things seem different here. I’m not asking for you to change yourself, but please,”

“Please what?”

Even after all the years of being together and one year of married life, Madhu had a tiny spec of fear crawling somewhere in her. That Jai would leave her. He wouldn’t love her anymore because she was too brash, because she was away from home a lot, away from him a lot, for social causes. Because he had to defend her to everyone in his life and she wouldn’t blame him if at some point, he ran out of reasons to ever stand up for her. Madhu wouldn’t blame him if he ever stopped wanting her near. She’s been trying to run from herself since she could remember.

“I can’t lose you bujji.”

He’d always called her bujji, and she always wanted to call him that in return but she could never bring herself to do it. The world swayed on its axis for a blink of an eye and when her eyes accustomed themselves to the shock, Madhu realised that all of this was real.

She was loved.

Loved, like you had someone on your side all the time. Loved, like you could spend the rest of your life loving them back. You had someone that kissed your knuckles and put his head on your chest. You had someone’s hair to run your hands through after a tough day.

She was so loved.

Tears sprang to her eyes, rolling down her temples to the pillow that smelled just like him.

And to think she was so ready to put it all at risk.

Of course, the heart is stupid and its grip on the tongue is more envious of the title; so the first thing that comes out of her mouth sounds like a hoarse tantrum.

“And you think I can lose you?”

Jai is quiet for a long time. Madhu wondered whether he went through the same epiphany as her. She wished her love to be his epiphany just this once despite having nurtured it for years for it to be a click of the moment.

“Jai, I see you in your anger. I see you when you threaten Mavayya’s enemies. I see it when you hide their beaten bodies behind their own cars. I see it when you’re angry and you don’t want me to look at you. But I do, and I’m not scared, because I understand. And I can get angry too.”

He nodded, his face burrowed into the soft fabric of the bed. There seemed to be a conversation in his own head, the angel battling the devil for control. He wouldn’t ever lose Madhu but he too understood the gravity of the situation as she had. Neither of them could afford to let their anger take root. Mavayya insisted there was always a peaceful way of winning a war.

“Ok…” he shook his head, like he was trying to tumble the idea of something out of his head. “Ok ok.”

Her hands were still buried in his hair, smoothening it out just like his mother said she used to.

“I promise,” he looked up at her finally. “I promise. I promise I’ll let go of my anger. Whatever it takes, I’ll never choose the violent way ever again. I’ll protect you.”

Jai looked expectantly at her and she knew he wanted her to say the same thing. But she smiled, shaking her head.

“Please don’t ever promise that. I can’t promise to never choose violence. But I promise I will always look for peace before I choose violence.”

He didn’t look convinced, like they were close to being back to square one.

“Not all of the world bends to peace Jai. There are people out there who will kill the people we love no matter how softly we could handle issues. So I promise I’ll always protect us, our family, this village. I promise. And I promise I won’t put myself in danger voluntarily again Jai. Trust me.”

They exchanged more such promises, almost like they were creating their own vows in the sanctity of their realisations behind the locked doors of the room. Her body didn’t want to hurt that much anymore. And so Madhu and Jai found themselves chest-to-chest, his toes pulling the hem of her sari higher and higher as his buttons slowly became undone and his hair messier under her hands.

Suddenly, it occurred to her that she hadn’t mentioned one crucial thing.

She kissed his temple, “I love you.”

—--------------

Quite some time had passed and the family— surprisingly including Mavayya and Atthayya, had planned a small reception for Madhu and Jai as a couple. Everybody in the kind cosy town knew that she was married to their favourite heir. But since he was that - an heir, their own regional royalty, it was decided that a feast and celebration was called for.

The farmers whom Madhu had helped before were grateful and insisted on gifting her half of their gorintaku (henna) crop. Everyone’s hands were pulsing, cooling red that auspicious day— most of the men refused to hide their loving hands that applied mehendi to their spouse’s or betrothed’s hands. Everyone was happy seeing their serious authoritative prince oh so tenderly hold his wife’s palms while he rolled the mehendi into balls and imprinted designs all over her hands.

All of this reminded Jai of their first wedding reception. It had been a court wedding since neither of them ever thought of making it a spectacle after Madhu’s parents passed away during a workers’ agitation gone wrong. But now everything was bright and shining, and Jai had a father who loved her as much as he loved his own son. His mother looked younger when she laughed with his father. Vennela’s eyes shone like stars as she admired them: like seeing her life’s hero get back his heroine.

The shehnai signalled Madhu’s presence as she stepped out of the house.

She thought she saw Jai catch his breath.

She had the most beautiful yellow sari draped around the curves of her tall body, the golden and ruby all over it shimmering in the rough sunlight. A dark bindi, kohl in her eyes, your nuptial thread hanging down your neck, hair adorned with the flowers of all the gardens in the entire village, hands adorned with glass bangles that the wives of the town gifted her after she had helped them start their businesses, silver anklets tinkling melodiously with every step - his first gift to her. Madhumati was the most divine bride he had seen and for her, he was no less.

A silk shirt that matched streaks of gold with her sari, a matching lungi, garlands of fragrant flowers and kundans hanging from his hands, his gold watch - her first gift to him.

Everyone cheered as Jai passed the garland back to Vennela to help Madhu up some small steps. She took his hand despite needing no help, and it became evident that he knew that too. He smiled, almost looking like he bowed,

“Inta bagunte ela bujji? Nenemaipovali cheppu?” (How can you be so beautiful, bujji? What would happen to me?)

Her smile widened, and for a moment she allowed herself to swim deep within his admiring gaze.

Flower petals already came showering on them and everyone said they might have been born just to witness a couple like them.

Jai and Madhu ended up in the centre of the crowd with all their family members, Vennela managing the situation to appease the people that flourished across town.

She felt happy on seeing the house regain its former happiness, the kind that she had only dreamt of when she was little. Vennela was always so sweet and innocent, she was Madhu’s best friend despite having spent so little time with her. Completing her chance to say a few words, Vennela winked at her, all but pushing Madhu forward to say something.

Madhu looked back at the rest of the family. Jai stood between Mavayya and Atthayya and everyone else while the town police officers in attendance stood to the side. They all smiled, asking her to go ahead. They never opposed Madhu’s relation with the pulse of this land, these people. She smiled, pulling Jai along to address the people.

“We are so happy for all the love you have shown us. They say it’s not a celebration until all the guests feel like family. You are our family now, and—”

They spoke in turns to the excited crowd, letting them butt in between to shout out their blessings.

But among the happy faces, she noticed a masked man weave his way through the crowd.

It all happened so suddenly. One second she was smiling at Gangamma insisting that you have a child soon, and the next— everything was chaos. People she didn’t recognise jumped at them from all sides, and it was her and Jai against them. The crowd gave an uproar of panic, people stampeding haphazardly as men charged with weapons.

Jai pushed her back, giving a way cry that tore through dry and humid bloodthirsty air. He fought the goons off till the veranda was soaked in streaks of red mixing with the holy water they had sprinkled not that long ago.

Everything was back to normal, she had realised belatedly as spots of black enveloped the corners of her vision— everyone’s lives were threatened once again, and Jai had no choice but to choose violence.

The earth gave away under her feet and she was caught by a pair of arms. Blood ran down her neck, and something loud echoed in her ears. Her eyes couldn’t help but flutter close in pain.

Jai’s father had caught Madhu, writhing in pain at an injury, while Vennela harboured Atthayya and the rest of the family inside the house into safety.

“Jai! Jai!”

Mavayya shouted and shouted till the name rang through her body. Madhu gasped for air, gasped for that name.

“Jai! She’s hurt!”

Every fibre in her body hurt when Jai came running, crashing onto the rough wet ground to take her from his father’s grip.

Jai had held Madhu like this many times - her head in the crook of his elbow, his eyes finding the universe in hers. But this time her head hung limp and heavy in his hold.

He slapped her cheeks as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Bujji? Bujji look at me, bujji!”

That’s what he always called Madhu. ANd she hadn’t even managed to say it back to him.

Madhu whimpered as he shook her like a rag doll, crying out for him again and again. It hurt, it felt like hot and cold daggers running through her heart. Jai kept his grip firm on a wound on her neck, which seemed to pour out blood the more he gripped it.

The yellow of her sari was drenched in her blood now, and she forced her eyes open to look at Jai, one last time. Her husband.

Her hands found his face, wiping away his tears with blood as she stuttered.

“B-Buj-jji?”

The first time she reciprocated his special little form of affection, was also the last time she ever would.

“Hey… Hey! Hey! Bujji? Look at me, come on look at me! Bujji, open your eyes……… Open your eyes! Please, please. Bujji! No!”

Her cries cease, leaving Jai’s sobs for her lonely and orphaned, ringing through the air with more pain than his rage ever allowed him.

Madhu had once told him that when she’d die, she would be at peace if it was in his arms while she looked into his eyes, knowing that there was nothing she would have done differently.

That day, the town mourned the death of their chieftain. It would be years until the family manages to smile again but not that long until Jai avenges Madhu’s death with kindness and the violence of her memory and absence. He failed in his promise to protect her but would not make promises he couldn’t keep anymore.

Jai had only one wife, and the day she died…

A part of him never came back.

THE END

(ps: mahi, I hope you liked reading this🫂 and I hope it satisfied your Jai fic appetite that we spoke of. maybe I'll write more who knows)

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x ex-wife!Reader

SUMMARY — James and Reader have not been on great terms since their divorce, but an emerging situation with their son forces them to put aside their differences and work together and hope that past feelings don't resurface

WARNINGS — hospitalization, chronic illness, swearing, complicated feelings (idk y'all they're divorced what more can I say)

NOTE — Okay so I have so many things to say about this fic, but if I say them all this post will be way too long it already is like this came up as 33 pages in my docs but this is a day late birthday present for @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey who also provided the James pic I hope you had such a fun day and a great year of simping ahead!

Pronounciation — Mahlet = Ma-h-let | Hennock = Hey-knock

Ever since you had become a mother, birthday parties were the bane of your existence. The sugar overload, the loud noises, the cleanup afterwards, all amounted to your own personal hell. Yet, you would move hell or high water for your son to have the most enjoyable party every single year. 

Today was no different, eight years later you were still breaking your back to ensure every small detail was perfect, from the pin the spikes on the stegosaurus to the cake you’d spent at least a month painstakingly training to make. 

A friend of yours, another parent from the school your son Julian went to, came over in the kitchen to give you a hand with some of the snacks. 

“How are you managing here?” she asked and you took a deep breath. 

“Managing is the operative word,” you chuckled. “Kids having fun out there?” 

“Yeah, loads, you’ve outdone yourself again,” she assured you. “Will James be making an appearance?” 

“I stopped asking myself that question after we got divorced,” you said while fixing the plate of vegetables and dip. “He’s supposed to, he promised Julian, but we all know how that ends.” 

There seemed to be a bit of commotion out in the backyard and you tried to assess what was happening from the window, but your suspicions that something was off was confirmed when Julian’s best friend, Hennock, came rushing inside.

“Mrs. Wilson, something’s going on with Julian,” he said and you frowned while your friend followed you outside to see the kids circling around Julian who seemed to be gripping onto his chest. 

“Jay, what’s going on? Are you okay?” you bent down to be closer to his eye-level, trying to understand what was happening to your son. 

“Can’t…” he pointed to his mouth. “Can’t…breathe,” he wheezed. 

Your eyes went wide, but before you could grab him and run for the car he began to cough and you hoped and prayed there was just something caught in his throat that would make its way out, but with the coughing came spatters of red all over your white shirt.

“Mahi,” you looked over at your friend quickly while picking Julian up. You didn’t have to say a word, she already knew what she needed to do. 

Living close to the hospital, it was worth it to drive yourself, that way you didn’t have to wait for an ambulance to get to you. You had made the mental calculations many times before, just in case there was an emergency and now it was finally coming in handy. 

When you got Julian in the car, you checked in on his breathing, it was still laboured, but at least at this point he was getting in the air, even if he was coughing up blood. 

You turned on the car and began driving while calling your ex-husband with one hand. The line rang until you reached voicemail so you called again, expecting at least this time for him to pick up, only to hear the tone once more. 

“Dammit James!” you threw your phone down on the seat next to you knowing you’d deal with him later, now you needed to focus on getting to the hospital without killing either of you. 

Barely paying attention to how your car was parked, you grabbed Julian out of the back seat and ran into the ER with him. 

“Ma’am, what’s going on?” a nurse came and asked you as you put Julian down. 

“My son, he-he’s having trouble breathing and he’s coughing up blood I-I-I don’t know what’s happening.” 

Before you could say a word they had whisked Julian away and another nurse came to ask you some questions about his medical history and any information that may be important to the doctors treating him. 

“Where’s my son?” you asked, “I want to see my son.” 

“Ma’am I’m sorry, but the doctors are working on getting his airway cleared, you can’t be with him right now.” 

You pressed your lips into a thin line and bit back your tongue. There were a million and one things you wanted to say to the nurse, but none of them would help your situation. On the other hand, finding your ex might. 

So instead of finding the waiting room you went over to the elevator and made your way up to the oncology department, briskly walking through the halls until you reached his office. At this point, you didn’t bother knocking, opening the door to see him sitting down over a file and talking with House. 

“Hey Greg,” you said in a fake cheery voice. “Mind giving us the room?” 

“Oh, this is the wife with the kid, did you forget to pay child support?” House asked James. 

“Get out, Greg,” you said warningly and he listened, instead opting to steal the rest of James’ sandwich and slipping past you, while wishing James good luck and letting you slam the door shut behind you. 

“What’s going on?” James asked, clearly confused by your demeanour and appearance. “If this is about the party I didn’t forget I was-wait is that blood,” he stood up from his chair and came over to you. 

“What’s going on is you didn’t pick up your fucking phone,” you said angrily. 

“Hey,” James looked at you sternly. “What is going on?” he repeated his question, this time more pointedly. 

You could feel your lips begin to tremble and your vision became blurred while you shook your head. 

“Who’s blood is on your shirt?” 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, “It’s Julian’s.” 

“Julian-I-what happened?” his demeanour changed from frustrated with your attitude towards him to worrying for his son. 

“I-I don’t know he said he couldn’t breathe and then he started coughing up blood and I just picked him up and drove him here a-and now they won’t let me see him.” 

“You drove him?” he asked incredulously. “You didn’t think to maybe call an ambulance?” 

“That’s what you’re hung up on? That I decided to drive because it was faster than getting him an ambulance?” 

“That’s not what I-,” 

“Yes it is,” you stepped back. “I wouldn’t have needed an ambulance if you were there.” 

James sighed and chose to ignore your comment, 

“Where is he?” he asked. 

“Emergency room,” you muttered. “They won’t let me see him, you need to talk to them, say something, anything.” 

James nodded his head, at least you could agree on that. He walked with you out of the office and to the elevator so you could go to the ER together and figure out what the hell was happening to your son. 

When you got down there and James began speaking to the nurses, they informed him that Julian had been moved to the ICU and his respiration was being closely monitored while they ran a few tests to see what had caused the arrest. 

You had to fight to hold yourself upright when they pulled back the curtain and you could see Julian hooked up to all the machines and with a ventilator tube stuck down his throat. You covered your mouth with your hand and shook your head again. This couldn’t be happening, now you were supposed to be cutting into cake and opening presents, not sitting in the ICU. 

You stepped inside with James and he closed the curtain to give you a bit of privacy and decided to look over his chart and see if they had given any relevant information there. Seeing none, he turned his attention over to you, seeing your eyes filled with tears, unable to tear your gaze away from your son. 

James walked over to you and cautiously put a hand on your shoulder, eventually encouraging you to turn around so he could pull you into his arms. You allowed your tears to soak his white coat, gripping onto him so tightly because there was nowhere else to hold. 

You could hear his breathing change, accompanied by the small sniffles and you knew he was doing just as bad as you were right now, wiping the tears from his own eyes as he finally allowed himself to see his son as he was, sick, helpless, vulnerable, and only moments ago, without his dad’s help when he needed him most. 

Your moment was interrupted when you heard the curtain being pulled back and you saw two doctors standing there. You pulled away from James and wiped whatever remaining tears were in your eyes so you could properly address them.

It seemed as though one of the doctors recognized James and when he looked down at the file and saw the name he made the connection internally. 

“Can we talk to you guys out in the waiting room for a moment?” he asked. 

“I don’t want to leave my son,” you shook your head. 

“Ma’am, this is the ICU and the visiting hours are very strictly adhered to, I think your husband maybe got lucky and pulled a few strings so you could see your son, but we need to leave now.” 

“He’s not my husband,” you muttered and reluctantly followed them out of the makeshift room and towards the waiting area. 

“Did you find out what was wrong?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I looked at his chart. You took him for an emergency CT and bloodwork.” 

“We also ran a few other tests,” the doctor began explaining. “From the medical history your, um, ex wife gave I had a suspicion of something so we ran a sweat test to check for elevated chloride levels and it just came back positive.” 

“Chloride levels?” you looked up at James. “What does that mean?” 

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “It means Julian has cystic fibrosis.” 

“I-I’ve heard of that, is it curable?” you asked. 

“I’ll leave you guys with Dr. Liu, he deals with the pediatric cystic fibrosis cases and will be able to answer your questions better than I can,” he wished you a good day and left you alone with the other doctor. 

“Cystic fibrosis is manageable-,” 

“So you can’t cure it,” you reiterated. 

The doctor shook his head, “Unfortunately there is no cure for CF yet, but many people have been able to live longer and happy lives with the medical technology now available.” 

James was silent, taking in all the information that was being presented. 

“How did he get it? Is it contagious or-or was it just always there?” you asked. 

“It’s a genetic condition, so he’s always had it, the symptoms have just gotten to the point where they’re now visible,” the doctor explained.

“I-It’s genetic so one of us is a carrier?” you pointed to you and James. 

“We both are,” James said. “Both parents have to be carriers to pass it down to their child, right?” 

Dr. Liu nodded and you pressed your lips together. 

“C-Can you just tell us what this means for right now?” you asked. “I just think-I think I need a minute.” 

Dr. Liu nodded his head and explained they were giving Julian medication to help with the infection and airway damage that caused him to cough up blood, then they would get him on some bronchodilators to help with his breathing for the time being while they assessed what other issues the cystic fibrosis had potentially caused in his body. He’d have to stay at the hospital for a while, but hopefully could be moved to the pediatric ward within the next day or so.

“We can talk more about what Julian’s medical journey will look like later, I’ll give you guys some time together and if you have any questions, Wilson’s got my pager and knows where my office is.” 

You nodded your head and thanked him quietly as he left the waiting area. You finally sat down on one of the chairs. 

James took the seat next to you and you covered your face with your hands. 

“We couldn’t give him a functional family and a happy home and now we’ve given him a chronic medical condition to top it off.” 

“Blaming ourselves isn’t going to do anything for Julian,” James said. 

“And sitting around here is?” you asked and James sighed. 

“No, no it’s not.” 

You sat there in silence for a little while longer before you noticed James stand up and motion for you to follow him. As much as you didn’t want to listen to him and just sit and wait until they would let you be with Julian again, you got up and followed him to one of the OR supply closets. He used a key to unlock the door and sifted through some materials until he found what he was looking for, pulling out a scrub shirt in your size and handing it over to you. 

You looked down at your own shirt, seeing the red specks of Julian’s blood and closed the door behind your both, pulling your shirt off over your head and handing it to James. You were about to put the other shirt on when you noticed the flecks of dried blood against your chest. 

While you eyes were transfixed on that, James had grabbed an alcohol wipe package from the shelves and tore it open with his teeth, removing the wipe and reaching over to help you clean the blood off yourself. 

“James, I can do it myself,” you reached for the wipe, but he pulled it away. 

“You’ve got some on your neck too, just let me take care of it,” he insisted. 

You knew better than to cause a fight over something trivial like this right now so you put your hands down, watching as James tossed your shirt over his shoulder and carefully began wiping away the specks of your son’s blood off your chest, collarbone, and neck. 

“Have you eaten today?” he asked you while holding your face to tilt it to the side so he could get a spot he’d missed earlier. 

“No, why?” 

“Because it’s his birthday, you’d always forget to eat until dinner and even then it would be scraps from the party until I forced you to eat something better,” he recounted. “Let’s just go grab something from the cafeteria before we go back to the ICU, okay?” 

“Will it make a difference if I say I’m not hungry?” you asked. 

“You can’t take care of Julian if you’re not taking care of yourself.” 

You scoffed and pulled the shirt over your head, “And you’ve suddenly become an expert on taking care of your family?” 

“Believe it or not, we were once happy and there was a reason we got married and decided to have a child together.” 

“And there’s a reason we got divorced too,” you added and opened the door behind you.

You didn’t go to the cafeteria, instead heading back to the ICU waiting room knowing either visiting hours would have to start eventually or they’d move Julian to his own room and you could finally sit with him. 

James clearly hadn’t followed you so you ended up alone again, wringing your hands and waiting for some sort of news. 

Eventually, you felt a bag drop on your lap and you looked up and saw James standing overtop of you. You looked inside and saw a package of a sandwich, a small bag of chips, and a water bottle. 

You knew he was right, that if you didn’t take care of yourself you wouldn’t be able to take care of Julian, so you forced yourself to eat, even if you didn’t want to. 

A little while later, Dr. Liu had returned and informed you that they were moving Julian to the pediatric ward and you could stay with him there in his room. When you joined him there, James had taken off his white coat and tossed it on one of the chairs, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and sitting down next to Julian’ taking one of his hands in his own. 

“Don’t you have patients you need to see?” you asked, sitting on the opposite side of the hospital bed. 

“I told Cuddy I needed the day, someone else is taking care of it for me,” he said, not removing his gaze from Julian. 

With the two of them sitting next to each other like that, you could clearly see the similarities Julian had with his father. They shared the same eyes and nose, and when they smiled they had the same little creases around their eyes. 

You wished that’s what you could have been looking at, them smiling together, instead of the frown etched onto James’ face and Julian still fast asleep while an oxygen mask now delivered the air he needed to help him breathe. 

“Do you know much about cystic fibrosis?” you asked James, brushing your thumb against Julian’s other hand. 

“Only that it mainly affects the digestive system and the respiratory tract,” he explained. “I’m not too familiar with how it's managed, just that there’s regular doctor’s visits and probably some medication and therapies involved.” 

You could feel a small stirring and you looked down and saw Julian’s hand begin to move underneath yours. 

You smiled when you saw his eyes blink open and James was quick to stand up and come closer to him so he had a familiar face to look at while he took in his surroundings. 

“Hey buddy,” James smiled and you could see Julian light up at the sight of his dad. He lifted his hand to try to remove the oxygen mask, but James gently encouraged him not to. “This is giving your lungs an extra hand right now, let’s just keep it on until the doctor tells us it's okay to take it off.” 

“But you’re a doctor,” Julian countered and James chuckled. 

“I am, but I'm not your doctor. I am, however, your dad so you have to listen to me anyways,” he teased and bent down to kiss his son’s cheek and tickle him a little bit in the process. 

“Hey, go easy on him,” you placed a gentle hand on James' arm and he laid off. 

“You know,” James said. “It’s still your birthday.” 

“It is?” Julian asked and you both nodded and James reached down to grab something he’d brought with him. 

“All the presents your friends got you are at home waiting for you to get better so you can open them, but this is what I got for you,” he said. “I was gonna come and bring it to the party, but I think you brought the party to me.” 

Julian laughed a little at that and you rolled your eyes, of course James could make himself look good by not showing up. 

He sat up with the help of his dad and pulled out the tissue paper from the bag to see the present that was hiding underneath. With a big grin on his face, he took out a dinosaur stuffed animal along with a book all about the different species of the Cretaceous period. 

“This is awesome,” Julian grinned. “Thanks dad, I love it.” 

James gave Julian another kiss and you joined them, taking a seat on the bed and glancing over at the book on Julian’s lap. 

“How are you feeling sweetheart?” you asked, fixing the twisted band of the oxygen mask on his face. 

“My throat hurts a little bit,” he admitted. “And I’m kinda hungry.” 

“Let me call a nurse and we’ll see what you can eat,” you said and pressed the button to send someone over from the nurses’ station. 

Meanwhile, James poured Julian a glass of water and helped him take a few sips of it. His throat was probably irritated from being on the ventilator, but his lungs had become stabilized from the use of the bronchodilators. 

The nurse came and you spoke to her about getting Julian something to eat and she said she’d double check with Dr. Liu and then grab him some food. 

“Hey, Jay,” you walked over to the bed and took your son’s hand in yours. “Are you okay to hang out here with dad while I go grab some stuff from home? The doctors said we might hang around here for a few days so I think I need to pack a bag.” 

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Julian nodded. “Are you okay mom?” he reached up and touched your cheek and you realized you'd let a few more tears slip.

“Yeah, I’m just really happy you’re okay,” you wiped the tears away and pressed a big kiss to his cheek. “Right, Jamie? We’re both happy he’s okay.” 

James looked over at you with softness reflecting in his eyes at the sound of the nickname he hadn’t heard in a long time and nodded his head. 

“Bring some cake back with you,” Julian whispered. “Even if dad and the doctor say no we can sneak some.” 

You laughed at his plan and gave him another kiss, assuring him you’d pack some in a container to bring for him when you came back.

When you arrived at your home, you thought you might cry at the sight in front of you. The kitchen and living room were completely clean, presents piled neatly on the coffee table along with a new card you didn’t recognize. Coming closer, you noticed the bright marker, signature of eight-year-olds across the country, with the message Get Well Soon Julian! written on it and signed by all his friends who had attended the party. 

You packed the card in your bag along with a few other things and made a mental note to grab a nice thank you gift for Mahlet to thank her for what she had done. 

As promised, you cut a big chunk of cake, enough for the three of you to share, and packed it in a tupperware to bring back to the hospital. 

You grabbed a few changes of clothes for both you and Julian and changed out of the temporary shirt you had on and into something more comfortable for the rest of the evening, making sure everything you needed was in place before heading out and going back to the hospital. 

When you got back to Julian’s room you saw James squished in next to him on the bed, the book he had bought him opened on his lap as he read its contents to Julian. Julian was resting his head against James’ arm and James was doing those big exaggerations he always would whenever he’d read bedtime stories to Julian, emphasizing all the insane details and changing the inflections of his voice in just the right way to make him laugh. 

“I brought cake,” you grinned, holding up the container as you entered the room, holding three plastic forks. “If Dr. Dad says it's okay, we can eat it.” 

“Dr. Dad desperately needs some sugar,” James nodded his head and closed the book for the time being while you took a seat by Julian’s legs and opened the container, handing each of the boys a fork. 

You helped Julian take off his oxygen mask for the time being and placed it off to the side, acutely aware of how his breathing sounded more laboured without it. 

James only snuck in a couple bites of the cake before taking the mask from your side and holding it ready in case Julian needed a bit of an extra hand. 

Just as he had predicted, after a few bites of cake Julian was noticing a bit of a difficulty to get air into his lungs and James held up the mask to his face, allowing him to take a couple deep breaths. 

“What do you think of the cake, Jay?” you asked. 

“Really good, just like everytime you make it,” he grinned. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a great birthday, buddy,” James apologized. “I mean with all your friends and classmates.” 

“What do you mean?” Julian asked. “I think I had a good birthday.” 

“You do?” you frowned curiously, wondering what kind of light he’d seen in the day that you and James as worried parents had somehow missed. “What made it good?”

“We’re sitting eating cake. Together. Just like when I was little,” he said simply and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, looking over at James whose gaze hadn’t left Julian. He almost looked disappointed, at what, you couldn’t place, but at least for the moment Julian was happy and that was all either of you really wanted. 

—

You grabbed your purse from the ground and thanked Dr. Liu for all of the information he had given you and assured you’d be there with Julian at the allocated follow-up time you had arranged. You were just about to leave when James came rushing into the room, apologies spewing out of his mouth for being late. 

“Late? You missed the whole appointment.”

“I-I did?” he said, looking down at his watch and cursing when he saw the time. 

“Jay, sweetheart, why don’t you sit down here,” you moved out of Dr. Liu’s office and set him up on a chair in one of the general waiting areas and handed him his dinosaur book from your purse. “I just need to go have a chat with your dad real quick.” 

Julian nodded and opened up the book, flipping through the pages while you grabbed James’ arm and pulled him into a dead-end hallway so you could speak in private. 

“What the hell took you so long?” you asked firmly. “We waited for twenty minutes before even starting the appointment!” 

“I’m sorry,” James apologized, “I was in the OR with a patient and something went haywire and it took longer than expected to fix it.” 

“Still, you couldn’t have told someone to at least pass on a message?” 

“I was in the middle of saving a patient’s life! What did you want me to do?” 

“I wanted you to be there for your son,” you whispered harshly. “You make promises you can’t keep and I have to watch him get disappointed over and over again. He does not deserve that, especially now.” 

James placed his hands on his hips and said, 

“I am trying to be there, it’s not for lack of effort-,” 

“Well try harder!” you threw your hands up in the air. “You’re an ex-husband James, not an ex-father. You don’t have to show up for me anymore, but you damn well better show up for him.” 

When he said nothing you continued. 

“Believe it or not, you don’t have to work as much as you do James. You chose to do that and right now that’s coming at your son’s expense and he is scared and vulnerable and neither of us know half of what Dr. Liu is talking to us about. Do you know what he said to me when I was confused about the management plan? He said Dad would know what this means. Dad can help us. And he’s right, you would have known and you can help so stop acting like your fucking schedule controls you and get your schedule under control.” 

James was quiet for a moment before he nodded his head, 

“Okay,” he said simply. 

You knew better than to get your hopes up with him and you didn’t have any more energy to argue, so you told him you could talk more later, but right now you were going to take Julian home so he could rest in his own bed and finally open his birthday presents. 

“Is dad coming with us?” Julian asked when you picked him up and began walking away to leave the hospital. 

“No, not this time,” you shook your head. 

“Did you fight with him again?” Julian asked and you pressed your lips together. 

“We just had a disagreement,” you settled on. “You can call him later when he’s done work if you want to talk to him, sounds good?” 

Julian was content with your answer and left it at that. 

Over the next few days, aside from Julian’s call, you didn’t hear much for James and you assumed things were right on track to going back to the way they had always been. You loved your son to pieces, but this was one time you wished his dad would be here to support, working and caring for Julian on top of trying to figure out how to be his at home doctor was already taking its toll and you didn’t know how you’d be able to keep it up. 

One night, you were sitting in the living room reading a book Dr. Liu had recommended. It was detailing strategies for parents with children who had cystic fibrosis. In the middle of your chapter you were interrupted by a knock to your door and you put in your bookmark, wondering who was stopping by this far into the evening. 

Unlocking the door and opening it, you found it hard to hide the surprise in your face when you saw James on the other end. 

“James?” you tilted your head. “I haven’t heard from you at all this week, what’s going on?” 

“I reduced my patient load,” he said, “and I talked to Cuddy about reducing my clinic hours. I still have to do some administrative stuff for the department, but it can be done from home for the most part.” 

“Oh,” you were surprised to say the least. You didn’t realize your outburst the other day had worked. 

“You were right,” he said. “I need to be here for Julian and I can’t do that if my work always comes first.” 

You nodded your head, following along with what he was saying. 

“C-Can I come in and see him?” James asked. “I know our custody agreement has always been all over the place-,” 

You didn’t say anything, simply opening the door wider for him to come inside. 

“He’s asleep in his room,” you said. “When you’re done we can talk some more.” 

James nodded and stepped inside, slipping off his shoes and taking off his jacket, making his way to Julian’s room to sit with him for a moment before joining you in the kitchen. 

“Want something to drink?” you asked and he said some water would be nice. You poured him a glass while waiting for the water to boil for your tea. 

“I saw the book you were reading over there,” he pointed to the couch. “Dr. Liu recommended it to me too, I just finished it the other night.” 

“Show off,” you rolled your eyes and handed him the glass. 

“What I was trying to say is I think something that stood out to me is having consistency and a routine is good, especially when things are new,” James explained. “I don’t think it makes sense for him to be moving back and forth from here to my place.” 

“So you think we should have a home base here?” you confirmed and he nodded. 

“I can come by more often, if there’s days where you need to be at work I can be doing the administrative stuff here after school and take care of Julian until you get back.” 

You pursed your lips and as you heard the kettle click, moved to pour your hot water into the mug you were holding. 

“These are all good ideas,” you started. 

“I’m assuming there’s a but coming?” 

“But I don’t want to give Julian the wrong impression is all.” 

James shook his head. 

“You really need to pick whatever it is you want,” James crossed his arms over his chest. “First I’m not here enough, I don’t put my family first. Now I’m putting my family first and you’re worried Julian’s going to think this means we’re getting back together.” 

“He doesn’t need to get his hopes up for something that’s never going to happen,” you said flatly. 

“Have you ever considered having a conversation with him instead of shielding him from every little thing that might hurt him?” James asked and you rolled your eyes. 

“Clearly every little thing can hurt him!” you pointed over to his room. “He can’t even breathe without help, James. Maybe he needs to be protected.” 

“Stop, just stop,” James ran a hand over his face. “I can’t get into a fight with you every single time we see each other. Julian is just as much my son as he is yours, if this is going to work we need to be able to have a conversation with each other.” 

You took a sip of your tea and said,

“Okay, I’m worried Julian might take the fact that you’re around more the wrong way.” 

James nodded his head, “I hear you, so maybe we should talk to him about it and say I’m coming around more to lend a hand around the house and help take care of him.” 

“Dad? What are you doing here?” as if on cue, Julian had walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes awake and adjusting to the light. 

“Julian, where’s your oxygen mask?” 

“I don’t wanna wear it mom,” he whined. “I don’t like the way it feels on my face.” 

You sighed, having had this conversation at least five times before, you didn’t know what else you could say to convince him. 

“Hey buddy, maybe we should listen to mom on this one,” James suggested. “You know that feeling you’ve got right here,” he pointed to his chest. “That’s only gonna get worse if you don’t wear it and we don’t want to have to go to the hospital again, right?” 

Julian shook his head and sighed, stomping back over to his room to grab the portable machine and place the tube under his nose and around his ears, allowing him to get the right amount of oxygen. 

You looked over at James gratefully and he reached his hand out to yours and gave it a squeeze. It was nice being on the same team even if you had just been arguing. 

When Julian came back he repeated his question to his dad who explained that he was here to talk to you about a few things that would be changing soon and that he’d be around more to help look after him. 

“If you’re going to be here to help look after me can you stay tonight?” Julian asked. “Mom still has some of your clothes in those boxes in her closet.” 

“She does, does she,” James looked over at you. 

“It was the stuff you wanted to give away and I never got around to it,” you said. “There’s probably a hoodie and some pyjama pants in there if you want to stay.” 

James pressed his lips together and sighed, 

“You know buddy as much as I would love to have a sleepover with you I don’t think it’s a good idea if I spend the night here,” James said. “But I can tuck you in again and wait until you fall asleep to go back home.” 

“Mom, can you come too?” Julian asked and you nodded your head. 

James stood up and helped Julian carry his portable oxygen machine back to his bedroom and you trailed behind them, watching as James carefully tucked Julian back under the covers while peppering his face with small kisses, like he would do when Julian was younger and just learning to sleep in his own room. 

“Dad that tickles,” Julian giggled and James simply smiled and continued littering his face with kisses. 

“Too bad. I love you too much; I just can’t get enough of you.” 

“Alright, move it,” you nudged James from the opposite side of the bed and took your turn. “It must tickle having two parents who love you so damn much.” 

“It does,” Julian’s laughter died out as you both finally left him alone, sitting on either side of his mattress. 

You both wished him a good night and waited as he slowly fell back asleep. When his breathing was steady and his grip loosened on yours and James’ hands you took it as your cue to leave the room. 

James placed a hand on your shoulder as you stepped out of the room, prompting you to turn around and face him. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow and we can work out a schedule or something, does that sound good?”

You nodded your head, 

“Yeah, I have a work thing tomorrow in the evening, I was gonna ask Mahlet, Hennock’s mom, if she could come look after Julian, but if you’re around…” 

“I’ll come for dinner and then do the bedtime routine,” he said and you smiled. 

“James I’m begging you-,” 

“I won’t be late,” he assured. “No surgeries planned and I’m ending my shift with clinic duty.” 

You pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded your head. 

“I’ll see you then,” you patted his arm and he showed himself out. 

You walked back to the kitchen grabbing your now lukewarm cup of tea and sitting back on the couch picking up your book and opening it, reading until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer, falling asleep right there on the couch. 

—

Over the next few months, you, James, and Julian had developed some sort of routine around school, work, and doctor’s appointments. A part of you thought you were spending more time together as a family than when you were married. 

Today you had to go in for work, also having reduced your hours, but in a way that you were working in tandem with James. When you arrived back home the house smelled like warm spices and big plates of home-cooked food. 

You dropped your keys on the entryway table, next to James’ keys and wallet and took off your jacket, hanging it up before coming to the kitchen and seeing Julian and Hennock doing their homework at the island. 

“Mr. Wilson, what is the difference between these two words?” Hennock asked, holding up his paper so James could see while cutting some vegetables for a salad. 

“I think the first one is the kind of principal in your school that looks after all the students and the other one is… man, that’s hard to describe. Hey, how do you describe what principle is to an eight-year-old?” James asked you. 

“I think that kind of principle is something that guides the way people behave or act,” you sat next to Julian and Hennock. “Like a principle is the foundation for something that people believe in.” 

Hennock and Julian still looked a little confused by your explanation so you tried to give an example. 

“So a principle could be to be kind to everyone we meet and so people who believe in that principle will try to follow it.” 

That put it in better terms for them to understand and there was a chorus of oh’s before they looked back down at their papers and scribbled down a few things to answer the questions they were asked. 

“They learning about homonyms?” you asked James and he nodded.

“I talked to Mahlet,” James said, changing the topic. “Hennock’s gonna stay for dinner and she’ll come pick him up around seven.” 

“Sounds good, it’s always nice to have you, Henny,” you smiled and ruffled your hand through his coarse curly hair in an endearing way. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Wilson,” Hennock smiled. 

James was now over the stove, stirring what looked like a soup before giving it a taste and figuring something might be missing.

“Can you taste this?” James asked. “I don’t know why, but every time I make it there’s something off.” 

You took a spoon and tried a little bit of the broth, looking down to see that he was making matzah ball soup and immediately when you tasted it you knew what was missing. 

“I know what it is,” you said. “But you can’t tell your mom I told you. She swore me to secrecy.” 

“My mother told you this?” James asked and you nodded. 

“When we were getting married she wanted me to know how to make it the way she would for you when you were sick.” 

“And she didn’t think to tell her own son how to do this?” he seemed thoroughly offended, but all you could do was laugh. 

“It’s tarragon. I don’t think it’s something everyone adds, it was just something special she’d put in hers to make it a little different. Here,” you reached into the spice cupboard and took out a jar of dried tarragon and took a bit of the herb out of the container and crushed it in your hands before sprinkling it into the soup. James mixed it in and gave the broth a minute to soak in the flavour before trying it again and shaking his head. 

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!” 

“I’ll let you finish having your little meltdown,” you patted his back. “I’m gonna hop in the shower quickly and we can eat when I get out.” 

“Did Dad forget the tarragon?” Julian asked and you nodded your head. 

“Wow, so everyone knew, but me?” James asked and you nodded your head with a shrug. 

“Sorry, I guess your mom has favourites, or something.” 

“Figures,” James teasingly rolled his eyes and you chuckled, waving him off and going to take a shower and change into something a little more comfortable. 

When you came back outside they had migrated to the dining room table, each with a bowl of soup in front of them and a plate of salad. You sat on the same side as James since Julian and Hennock were already sitting next to each other and the boys happily recounted the details of their school day and playdate with you while everyone ate their soup and salad. 

“What did you do at work, Dad?” James asked. 

“Oh, nothing interesting,” he shook his head. “I think your mom was doing bigger things than me.” 

“Bigger than treating people with cancer? You flatter me,” you drank some of your soup’s broth. “I had a meeting with a big company about a building they’re making.” 

“Did you go do a site visit?” James asked and you nodded. 

“Engineers are being a pain in the butt, keep making me adjust the design, but we’ll see who gets the last laugh.” 

“Mom always does,” Julian told Hennock and they chuckled along with James. 

After dinner James helped you clear up some of the dishes before heading out and leaving you with the boys. When Mahlet came by to pick Hennock up you invited her in for tea and a little visit. 

“Thanks for coming to stay with Julian the other night,” you said after handing her a mug. “For once, I was the late one and James had an emergency come up so it was a huge help.” 

“And how are things now, with the co-parenting?” 

You took a sip of your tea, “Weirdly good,” you admitted. “We don’t argue as much which is nice and Julian gets to see his dad more.” 

“Do you think maybe you’re not fighting because he’s changing?” she asked. 

“I don’t wanna go down that path,” you shook your head. “If Jay hadn’t been diagnosed things would still be the same as they always were.” 

“But they’re not. More often than not people show their true colours during times of difficulty.” 

You took a deep breath and sighed, “If that was the case I would have seen something worth keeping when my marriage was falling apart.” 

Mahlet nodded, seeing as you had a point and your conversation was halted as they boys came out of Julian’s room. 

Mahlet and Hennock left shortly afterwards and you quickly got Julian ready for bed, tucking him in and then going to get settled yourself. You looked through a few client papers for work before calling it a night and turning off your bedside lamp, curling into bed and falling asleep. 

Your sleep was interrupted in the middle of the night by a tapping on your shoulder and when you blinked your eyes open you saw Julian standing next to your bed. 

“Jay, sweetheart, is something wrong?” you asked. 

“My stomach really hurts,” he told you and you sat up, motioning for him to come sit with you on the bed. 

“Where?” you asked, turning on the light and he pointed to the upper right corner of his abdomen. If you remembered correctly that wasn’t exactly where his stomach was and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw the yellowing whites of his eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, I think we have to go to the hospital.” 

“The hospital? What happened?” Julian looked worried and you assured him everything would be alright. 

“We’re just being safe,” you told him. “I’m gonna call your dad, maybe he can tell us a little bit more of what’s going on. Do you feel good enough to get your jacket and shoes and your hospital bag?” 

Julian nodded his head and you gave him a kiss and he went off to grab his things while you did the same, but also taking your cell phone and calling James. 

It took a few rings, but he eventually picked up. 

“Hey, did something happen?” he asked and you could still hear the sleep thick in his voice. 

“I think something’s wrong with Julian. I’m gonna take him to the hospital, can you meet us there?” 

“Yeah, of course, I’m on my way.” 

“James…the whites of his eyes were yellow. Does he have jaundice?” you asked.

“It’s possible, was there anything else?” 

“Yeah, he mentioned stomach pain, but he pointed to like his upper right abdomen, I think,” you explained while grabbing your bag and putting on some socks. 

“Makes sense as a liver issue,” you could hear his car starting in the background. “If he’s presenting symptoms now I would call an ambulance.” 

“James-,” 

“Just trust me,” he said. “Call 911.” 

“Okay,” you nodded your head and hung up, calling the emergency services and explaining the situation to them and then to Julian while you waited for them to arrive. 

James made the right call, seeing as while you were in the ambulance Julian began to throw up and the paramedics obviously handled it better than you could have if you had driven him. 

When you arrived at the ER they wheeled Julian away and you began getting flashbacks to when you first brought him in. 

“Where are you taking him?” you called after them, but no one answered you. “What the hell kind of hospital is this?! Where are you taking my son?!” 

“Ma’am they're taking your son to do a liver biopsy,” one of the nurses came back and informed you. “We need you to sign this consent form.” 

You nodded your head and took the pen from her hand, signing it, but just as you were about to ask her a question she ran off to give them the okay. 

You could feel your anger and worry bubbling inside your throat and you wanted to let it out in a scream and you were about to go running after her, but before you could you felt someone grab your wrist and pull you back. 

“James let me go,” you said warningly, looking back at your ex-husband. 

“No,” he stated just as firmly. 

“James-,” 

“I am not going to let you do something you’re going to regret,” he said and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, even when you pushed to get away. 

“James, let me go.”

“No,” he repeated and simply held onto you tighter. 

“Let me-,” your voice broke and you stopped pushing away. “Please, Jamie, please I just want to see him,” you cried into his shirt and he squeezed you so tight you thought you might get bruises in your arm from the way he was holding you. 

“I know, I know,” he whispered. “You brought him here and he’s going to be fine.” 

“I can’t do this anymore, James. I can't be his mom and his doctor and they can’t expect me to wait out here while they drag him away and ask me to consent to God knows what.” 

James didn’t know what to tell you, instead he just continued to hold you close, rubbing his hands up and down your back, and pressed a soft kiss against your temple. 

You wrapped your arms around him and finally let yourself fully sink into his embrace, hating yourself for how much you liked it and how good it made you feel while your son was in some back corner of the ER getting a piece of his liver biopsied.

Eventually James pulled away from you, helping you dry your tears on the sleeve of his sweater and walking with his arm wrapped around you to the waiting area. You didn’t know how long you were sitting there, but it was possible that you had dozed off once or twice against James’ arm, waiting to hear some sort of news from the ER doctor. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?” 

Your eyes blinked open when James gently shook you awake. 

“That’s us,” he said. “Is Julian okay?” 

“Your son has a mild case of cirrhosis,” the doctor explained. “Due to his cystic fibrosis diagnosis we believe this is due to clogging and inflammation in his bile ducts.” 

“What does that mean for him? Does he need surgery to fix it?” you asked, fighting back a tired yawn. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” the doctor nodded. “It’s good you caught it early, there’s minimal damage to his liver so far and he’s still growing which means his liver is too. We can get him into an OR tomorrow if you consent to the surgery.” 

You looked over at James and he nodded his head. You trusted him and told the doctor you would sign the papers as soon as you could see Julian. 

“He’s been moved to the pediatric ward for now and Dr. Liu has been informed of the development. He should be in touch with you tomorrow.” 

“Thank you,” James said and when the doctor left, he helped you up and you began the walk up to the pediatric ward. 

When you arrived a nurse pointed you in the direction of his room and after each pressing a kiss to Julain’s forehead you sat on the seat bench together. 

“We should sleep,” James said, but you had a hard time imagining how that would be possible. 

“I’m having a hard time working out the logistics,” you admitted. 

“Come on, it’ll be just like on the way back from our honeymoon,” he insisted, recalling your extremely delayed flight on the way back from France, causing you to sleep with your head on James’ lap, stretched out along the airport chairs. 

You were too tired to argue or try and find another way, so you leaned down and rested your head against his legs, closing your eyes and sighing when you felt his hand rub up and down in long motions along the side of your body. Sleep could not have come quicker.

—

“Mom…Mom, Dad?” 

Julian rolled his eyes when he received no answer and grabbed the stuffed animal you had placed next to him when he’d come into the room and threw it at his sleeping parents, nailing his dad in the face. 

“Oh, God, mhm, wake up,” James shook you while he raised his hands to rub his face.

“Huh?” you opened your eyes and pushed yourself off of James’ lap. “Oh crap, my back. Remind me not to listen to you when you talk about doing something I did ten years ago.” 

“Julian, did you throw Steggy at my face?” James asked, picking up the stuffed animal from where it had fallen on you. 

“You weren’t getting up,” Julian shrugged his shoulders. 

“Julian,” you chastised and took the dinosaur from James’ hand. “You could have hurt your dad’s important doctor-face,” you joked and rubbed your hand all over James’ face making Julian laugh. 

“Okay, okay,” James moved your hand away and gave you a look. 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” you yawned and moved from the bench to the side of his bed. 

“A little better,” he said. “Did the doctors fix what was wrong?” 

“Not yet,” James shook his head and came to sit next to you and placed a hand on Julian’s. “You’re gonna have to go in for surgery today.” 

“A surgery?” Julian looked a little nervous. “Like cut me open?” 

“It’ll be just a line right here,” James drew it with his finger along Julian’s abdomen. “They’re going to fix a part of you called your bile duct and then sew you right back up and you’ll be good as new.” 

“Is it dangerous?” he asked. 

You looked over at James, a small note telling him to lie to make him feel better. He didn’t need to know all the details. 

“No,” James shook his head. “You’re gonna be fine and your mom and I will be here the whole time.” 

“Promise?” Julian whispered. 

“Swear on it,” James leaned in towards his son and snuck a kiss to his cheek. “We love you, buddy.” 

“I love you guys too.” 

Dr. Liu came by a little while later to inform you what time the surgery was scheduled for and he helped make Julian feel a lot better about the procedure. When it was finally time for him to go, you were a nervous wreck, but tried not to let it show for Julian’s sake, instead just pressing a big kiss to his forehead and telling him you’d be waiting for him once he got out. 

It only took about fifteen minutes of your pacing to get James to grab onto your arm and make you stop. 

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the ground,” he said. 

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” you admitted. “If I sit I’m gonna fidget, if I stand I’m going to pace.” 

“Then come on, let’s go to my office for a second, grab a coffee and a snack and then we can come back out and wait,” he suggested. 

You agreed to his idea so he stood up and you walked side by side to his office, passing House who had some comment about your dishevelled appearance together. 

“You’re an interesting man, Greg,” you shook your head at him. “You can’t think of any other reason we might be here?” 

House was silent so James explained, 

“Julian’s in surgery right now. He’s got cirrhosis.” 

“Ah so not a late night ex-wife rendez-vous. Can’t get ‘em right all the time,” he shrugged and you chuckled. “I hope the kid’s alright.” 

“Thanks, that means a lot coming from you,” you admitted. 

He raised his brows and lifted his cane to say goodbye, letting you and James continue your walk to his office. 

“House mind that you’re not spending as much time here?” you asked. 

“No, he just bothers me more when I am around,” James said while opening the door and letting you inside. 

He went towards his desk and pulled out a few packages of snacks tossing you one and you shook your head when you saw the label. 

“You still eat these? I thought the FDA recalled them?” you asked sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry I have better taste in food than you do,” he said right back. 

“Right, this is food,” you chuckled. “And if you have such good taste why didn’t your mom tell you about her secret ingredient?” 

“That’s cold,” he pointed to you with a bag of chips in his hand. 

“No, it’s true. Just like your dad telling me I was his favourite wife of yours,” you opened the bag James had tossed you. 

“Just shut up and eat your snack,” James chuckled and you listened to him, beginning to eat a little something, not realizing how hungry you were until the food made its way to your stomach. 

“You got another one of these?” you asked and he nodded, passing it to you when you were finished with the first one. 

“Feeling a little better?” James asked and you nodded your head. 

“Hey James?” you said, unsure of how you’d gotten to this point, but you were too exhausted to stop yourself from saying it. “I want you to move back in.” 

“You want me to do what?” he raised his brows and looked at you stunned. 

“I want you to move back in with me and Julian,” you said. “It’s becoming pretty clear to me that it’s safer to have two people around when possible than not and you’re already around all the time now.” 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked. “I mean you didn’t want to give Julian the wrong idea about us.” 

“Our lives changed the second we got that diagnosis. I think we need to change along with everything else.” 

You couldn’t believe that just barely twelve hours ago you were telling your friend there was no chance James had changed, but here you were saying things that had proved you had changed. Things you wouldn’t have dreamt of saying a year ago. 

“Okay,” James nodded. “I’ll move back in.” 

You just silently hoped you wouldn’t regret asking. 

Waiting for Julian to get out of surgery was a little easier now that you had some food in your stomach and you decided to wait on coffee until you got the note from the surgeon that everything had gone well. 

As James had continued to assure you almost a hundred times, the surgery went fine and before you knew it you were back in Julian’s room watching him sleep off the anaesthetic. 

“You know he looks like you when he sleeps,” James said from the bench while you sat on the bed next to Julian. 

“He does?” 

“Yeah, his nose does that same scrunchy thing when he sniffles and when he snores-,” 

“Hey, I only snore when I’m congested,” you said defensively. 

“I never minded,” James smiled. “I thought it was cute when you sounded like an old man.” 

“Yeah, but you’re not fond of all my old man characteristics,” you turned around to face him, still holding Julian’s hand in yours. 

“All your old man characteristics?” James furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“You told me I argued like an old man. Stubborn and could only see my own way. And I fought dirty.” 

“You sure did,” James nodded. “If you brandishing my mother’s clear favouritism shows anything, it’s definitely that you fight dirty, but I never said I disliked that about you.” 

“Really? Near the end I thought there was a lot you disliked about me.” 

James shook his head, “No, I was just upset and you were passionate. It wasn’t like my other marriages where things just…fizzled.” 

“We did go out with a bang,” you inhaled deeply. 

“If it weren’t for Julian… do you think we’d…” 

You shook your head. 

“No, we probably never would have seen each other again. Another old man trait, I hold a pretty mean grudge.” 

James pressed his lips together and looked over at his sleeping son. 

“I’m happy we had him,” he said quietly. “Even if we didn’t work out.” 

“Me too,” you agreed, looking over at Julian quietly snoring, just like his dad had said. “Best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

You leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Julian’s nose watching him scrunch it up, making you smile. It was a miracle that two such flawed individuals could make a child so perfect. 

—

“Alright, he is asleep, but I do warn you it took some bribery so you’ll have to buy him another dinosaur book to read to him at night,” you walked out of Julian’s room, dusting your hands off like you’d just finished a heavy labour job. 

“I’ll run to the bookstore tomorrow,” James nodded and you fell onto the couch next to him and sighing as you sunk into the plush fabric before noticing what he was doing. 

“Where did you pull these out of?” you asked with a soft chuckle. 

“I was just clearing up the closet in the guest bedroom and I found a box of these,” he picked up the albums. “Look at this one.” 

He placed the book of photos on your lap and you smiled seeing as it was Julian’s baby album, filled with small mementos and little notes you and James had made in the margins. 

“Oh my God, Mom’s first day home, she looks like an angel,” you read from the side. “And my response: I look like I just got hit by a bus, cut it out.” 

“You can still read my chicken scratch writing?” James asked. 

“My most useless talent as I like to call it,” you nodded. “You wrote a lot in here.” 

“I used to bring it with me to work cause I missed you guys so much,” he admitted. “Made me feel closer to you.” 

You read through some of the notes in the book, chuckling a little at some of the written back and forth you had. Eventually you got to the family portraits you’d had taken a few months after Julian was born, smiling softly to yourself. 

You remembered the day well, you felt like you hadn’t slept in weeks, James was just getting off of a twelve-hour shift and you were almost late to your appointment with the photographer. You were worried everything was going to look terrible and you’d barely had enough time to do your hair or makeup, but James had silenced your worries with a kiss and assured you the pictures would be fine. 

In the end most of them were terrible, but the photographer managed to get two shots, one of you and James smiling down at Julian in your arms and another immediately after where you were looking up and smiling at each other. 

“That session was a shitshow,” you recalled and James agreed. “We did get a few nice things out of it though.” 

You looked back down at the pile of albums in front of you and noticed a large white one, tucked under a few things and even though nothing good could come of it, you pulled it out from the bottom of the pile, carefully blowing off the dust and turning the first page. 

Centerfold, just like you remembered it, was a picture of you and James on your wedding day. You leaned further back into the couch and James scooched in closer to get a look. 

You both looked younger in the picture, with that spark of je ne sais quoi in your eyes. 

“I told you there was a reason we got married,” he said quietly, his hand brushing the corner of the photo. 

“Yeah, we loved each other,” you said. “That was the reason.” 

“Same reason we decided to have Julian,” he added. 

You could feel your breathing become a little more shallow and a tightness in your chest as James spoke about Julian. You remembered the conversations so clearly, like you’d had them yesterday, caught between happy and passionate kisses while James made some dirty jokes about getting you pregnant. 

That was back when he still couldn’t get enough of you. Before things changed and he slowly distanced himself until it felt like it was just you and Julian against the rest of the world, and not the three of you like he had promised all those nights throughout your pregnancy. 

You wondered quietly to yourself what had changed? What had become so unbearable that there was distance in the first place? There was never a lack of love on your end which is why this was dangerous. 

At least when there was distance you could be angry with him, you could go to bed at night and not remember all the little things that made you love him in the first place. He wasn’t there as a constant  reminder that you loved his cooking, or even just your banter together. More importantly, it was giving you new reasons to feel that fluttering feeling in your stomach. 

You’d always loved how he’d interact with Julian, but now that you got to see it day in and day out, it made it harder to weigh that against the cons of everything. Most notably, this was the beginning of the end. If you let yourself fall you would both crash and Julian would be caught in the middle once again. 

You tried to distract yourself by flipping through the album photos to find some funny old picture of a relative or maybe even an embarrassing moment to tone down whatever it was that looking at that picture was making you feel. 

All you could focus on was how in every picture, almost without fail, James was looking over at you. Rarely into the camera along with everyone else. He was enamoured, that was the only word to describe it, and oh how much you missed that look. 

You made the mistake of tearing away your gaze from the pictures, looking up at James instead, and for a moment you thought just maybe you saw that same look in his eyes. But no. It couldn’t have been. The dim light of the lamp must have been playing tricks on you. 

Finally you closed the album and put it back down, unsure of what feelings might resurface if you opened another one. Your honeymoon, family dinners and pictures were all just reminders of the happy times, not what came after.

James did what you didn’t want to, grabbing another album and sifting through the pages until he found what he was looking for, taking a picture out of its protective sleeve and showing it to you. 

“Can I keep this one?” he asked. 

You took it from his hands, examining it while your fingers precariously held the edges of the photograph. 

It was a silly picture, something you had taken while you were travelling. James got someone to take the camera, but along with snapping a few shots while you were posed with smiles they caught a few candids, most notably, James kissing your cheek while you laughed and tried to squirm out of his grasp. 

Your finger gently brushed over the spot on the photo where James’ lips were against your cheek before nodding your head. 

“Sure, you can have it,” you handed him back the picture and patted your hands against your legs, preparing to stand up. “I should get to bed.”

“I’ll be out here for a while longer if you need anything.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile and stood up, walking towards your bedroom. When you closed the door behind you, you let out a breath you had been holding and ran a hand across your face. 

Maybe Julian was never the one at risk of getting the wrong idea.

—

Waking up in the middle of the night always made you feel uneasy. Especially if Julian was the one waking you up. The chance that you’d have to drive to the hospital or call an ambulance was high and you hated the fear and worry that came along with any possible complications. 

Tonight, you woke up on your own accord. Your heart was beating inside your throat and your stomach felt like it was housing a group of persistent butterflies. 

You glanced over at the clock and saw the time, flashing in red. 

3:07

You took a deep breath trying to steady your heart rate and breathing before peeling away your blanket and kicking your feet over the side of the bed. You grabbed a different pair of pyjamas from your dresser and walked into the washroom, tossing them on the far end of the floor while you stripped down and turned on the water for the shower. 

When you stepped inside you hissed initially at the cold, but forced yourself to become fully submerged under the water, closing the curtain behind you. Your muscles clenched as your body adjusted to the temperature, and when the time finally came you let your thoughts and dreams become washed away by the water coming out of the shower head. 

You were simply standing there, letting the water fall on your face when you heard the click of the door opening. 

“Julian, sweetie,” you sighed, turning around so you could speak. “Maybe you should go to your dad if something’s wrong, I’ll come out in a sec.” 

“No need,” you heard a voice that did not belong to your son. 

“James? I’m in the shower. What are you doing?” you asked incredulously, feeling the need to cover yourself up even though there was a curtain blocking his view. You felt exposed nonetheless. 

“It’s three in the morning, I thought something was wrong, I came to check on you,” he explained. 

“And what were you doing up?” you asked. 

“Got in late. There was an emergency at the hospital after you guys went to sleep, I dealt with it and just came back.”

You stepped under the running water again, washing the water over your face with your hands. 

“So, is everything okay?” 

“Peachy,” you said sarcastically, leaning against the wall of the shower. 

“Nobody ever says peachy when things are okay,” James pushed further and you sighed, moving to sit down on the floor of the shower, still positioned under the water. 

“I just had a dream, that’s all,” you said, watching as the water hit your toes and the ground around you. 

“A bad dream?” he asked. 

“No, it was more like… déjà vu.”

James sighed, and rubbed his hands on his legs. 

“Was it about us?” 

He took your silence as a yes. 

James didn’t really know what to say, his hands were clasped together as he leaned  forward sitting on the bathroom counter. 

“You’re not gonna ask what it’s about?” you hugged your knees close to your chest. 

“Would you tell me?” 

“Maybe…I don’t know,” you mumbled. 

There was another moment of silence before James spoke up again, 

“What was it about?” 

You turned to face the water with your eyes closed again, gathering the courage to speak. 

“It started when I told you I was pregnant,” you said softly. “Like the memory replayed in my head, exactly how it happened.” 

“I remember that day,” you heard the soft smile in his voice as he spoke. “You took the test at work and when it came back positive you came straight to the hospital to tell me.” 

“I was barely two steps inside your office when I blurted it out, you were eating lunch and had that stupid look on your face with a mouth full of sandwich,” you chuckled to yourself.

“I almost choked on that,” James shook his head. “And I just remember running up to you and freaking out.”

“And then when you were done freaking out and everything sunk in you kissed me, and you told me you loved me, and we cried because we made a child. Our love did that.” 

You reached forward and turned the shower off, pushing yourself up on your feet and taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain. You had told him what you were thinking. You couldn’t get any more exposed than that.

James looked stunned for a moment and it didn’t go unnoticed how his eyes raked up and down your figure. 

“Get me the robe, would you?” you motioned to the back of the door and he jumped down grabbing the robe and holding it out for you so you could place your arms into the sleeves and wrap the towelled fabric around you, trying it off with the belt. 

When you turned your head to look back at James, you could tell at least you’d succeeded in raising his heart rate, much like he was doing for you recently. 

You moved to go sit on the closed toilet while James retook his spot on the counter. 

“Do you remember when Julian was born?” he whispered. 

“I like it was yesterday. I can’t believe it’s been eight years,” you nodded your head. 

He was having trouble holding your gaze and you wondered what he was about to say. 

“I-I screwed up,” his voice was soft, almost hurt, like it pained him to think about what he had done. “When you were resting afterwards the nurse asked me if we were going to do a newborn screening. We hadn’t talked about it, but you were so tired and it was such a hard labour…” he swallowed thickly, his voice wavering slightly, remembering the birth. It wasn’t easy by any means and James had often thought that the hardest thing he’d ever had to watch was you in that much pain. “I told her we weren’t going to do it. I just didn’t want Julian to leave and h-he looked so perfect I never thought anything could have been wrong with him.” 

James took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, “I am a doctor and I didn’t get a newborn screening for my son, what the hell kind of father does that make me?” 

“Oddly enough, I think it makes you a good one,” you admitted. 

“Even though we could have known about this years before? We could have gotten him treatment, medication, therapies, all sooner?” he looked back at you confused. 

“You said it yourself, Jamie. He was perfect for us. Still is.” 

James nodded his head and looked forward at the opposite wall. You stood up and walked over towards him, reaching out a hand to gently hold his face, your thumb brushing against his cheek while he looked at you. 

“I don’t blame you for this,” you whispered. “I don’t blame you and I don’t think you’re a bad father.” 

“I know,” he murmured, “but I do.”

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, not knowing what other comfort you could offer. 

James leaned in a little to your touch, sitting up straighter when it was gone, trying to play it off like he hadn’t been missing it and craving it as much as you. 

You were about to say something when you heard a knock on the washroom door, and this time it had to be Julian. 

“Mom? Dad, are you in here too?” you could hear his small sounding voice, a little strained and worried so you quickly assured him you were both inside and opened the door. 

“Sweetheart, what happened?” you asked, noticing his tear-stained face. 

“I just had a bad dream,” he sniffed and wiped his eyes. 

You kissed away his tears first before assuring him everything would be fine, you and James were there to take care of him. 

“Why don’t you go and lay down on my bed with your Dad?” you suggested. “I’ll get dressed and come join you.” 

Julian nodded and made his way over to your bed while you went to quickly speak to James. 

“It’ll be good for you. Both of you,” you told him. 

“You don’t mind?” 

“Just this once.” 

James thanked you with a kiss to your cheek and left the adjoining washroom, closing the door behind him and giving you a minute to get changed and deal with anything you needed to before going back to bed. 

When you opened the door and came back into your room, you saw James under the covers with Julian pressed close to him, their foreheads resting together while James told him everything was going to be alright and he could go back to sleep. 

You slipped in under the covers, sandwiching Julian between you both, letting his back rest against your chest while you pressed a kiss to his hair. 

One hand was tucked under your pillow and another was draped over Julian, and your fingers carefully placed over top of James’. 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Julian asked his dad. 

“Right next to you,” he kissed his nose. “Now try to get some sleep, okay?” 

Julian nodded his head and yawned and you whispered a quiet goodnight to bed him and his dad before letting your eyes close, silently smiling when you could feel James’ hand finally hold your own. 

—

“You guys, relax, he’s going to be fine,” Mahlet placed a hand on both yours and James’ shoulders while you spewed out your worries. “It’s one night, I have the whole list of things he needs and I’ve taken care of him before, right? It’s just at my house this time so the boys can have a sleepover and you two can have a bit of a break.” 

“She’s right,” James sighed. “I’m still worried out of my mind, but she’s right.” 

“Mahi, are you sure you don’t want us to come even for a little bit?” you asked. 

“Absolutely, if something happens I’ll call an ambulance and then you, but Julian’s been good for months now, he can survive one night away from home,” she assured you. 

“Thank you, Mahlet. I’m sure Julian and Hennock will have a great time tonight. Just call us when he’s ready to be picked up tomorrow morning,” James said. 

James wrapped his arm around you, giving you a squeeze knowing you were still uneasy about this, but deep down you knew Mahlet was right. The chances of something going wrong at this point were small and you’d had enough time since your last hospital visit to even consider doing something like this. 

“You boys ready?” James called and Julian came rushing out of the room with his bag in hand, Hennock following close behind him. 

“You have fun tonight, okay?” you bent down and gave Julian a kiss. “And if anything happens or you feel sick, or are having trouble breathing, tell Mahlet, okay?” 

“I know, Mom. Dad already told me this like fifteen times,” Julian chuckled. 

You looked up at James and he shrugged. 

“Alright, well you guys better go before I change my mind,” you crossed your arms over your chest and that was all the permission the boys needed to run off, leaving Mahlet to say goodbye before stepping out and closing the door behind her. 

You sighed and turned around, looking at James who had his hands shoved into his pockets. 

“You hungry?” he asked. 

“I could eat,” you nodded your head. 

“Why don’t we make something for dinner together?” he suggested. 

You looked at the clock and smiled, “I think we’ve got enough time for pizza, what do you think?” 

“I think that’s a great plan,” James agreed. “I can start on the dough and you get the sauce and toppings?” 

You gave him a thumbs up before putting your hand out to high-five him, noticing how your fingers so easily intertwined before you walked apart and let go. 

James rolled up his sleeves and took off his watch, placing it on the small jewelry tray you kept by the sink for when you were washing dishes, while you went to the fridge and began pulling out all the things that could make good pizza toppings. 

Moving to the sink to wash some vegetables, you noticed James’ watch resting there. You didn’t pay much attention when he was wearing it, but now you realized why it looked extra familiar. It was one you had gotten him as an anniversary present after your first year married. 

“You still wear that?” you pointed with your eyes to the watch. 

“It’s my favourite watch, of course I wear it,” he nodded while portioning the flour into a large bowl.

“Even with that engraving?” you raised a questioning brow. 

“Dearest Jamie, Here’s to the first of many happy anniversaries. Love forever, Your Wife,” he recited the engraving back to you. 

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself,” you chuckled a little, looking down into the sink. 

“Yeah, well why do you still go by Mrs. Wilson?” 

“Easier to keep the name than change it again,” you partially lied, it wasn’t the full truth, but it was what you had been telling yourself ever since the divorce was finalized. 

James could sense you were lying, but he knew the only way to get you to open up would be to let himself be open with you. 

“The watch is my favourite because you gave it to me. Functionally it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but you went out of your way to get me something that looked nice and that’s why I love it.” 

You smiled a little to yourself, but kept your head facing the sink and continued to wash the vegetables. 

“You’re not going to say anything?” he inquired. 

“Do I have to?” you asked. 

“That’s normally how a conversation works,” he remarked and you chuckled. 

“What do you want me to say?” you asked. 

“Honestly, the real reason why you kept your married name,” he said plainly. 

You sighed, “It wasn’t a full lie. If I went back to my maiden name Julian and I wouldn’t have the same last name it just makes things complicated and confusing and I didn’t want to deal with it, but,” you added, “I always kind of liked the sound of Mrs. Wilson and even though I was pissed at you all the time I still liked that there was one thing aside from Julian connecting us. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t want to end up like Sam or Bonnie just…detached, like there was barely a trace that you were even there.” 

“It’s a fingerprint,” James said. “Mine.” 

“Yeah, even though it's small for who we were to each other, it's the fingerprint you left on my life.” 

James pressed his lips together and opened his mouth to say something before shutting it and evaluated how he was going to speak, 

“Can I ask you something?” he settled on. 

“Sure,” you nodded, moving over to the cutting board and placing yourself on the opposite side of the kitchen island. 

“Did…Did you ever stop loving me?” 

Your smile faltered and James noticed the change in your demeanor, quickly retracting his question. 

“You know what, forget I asked,” he shook his head and continued to knead the dough. 

There was a moment of silence before you spoke again. 

“I didn’t, but I got tired of not being loved back.” 

James stopped what he was doing and looked up at you with concern. 

“You thought I stopped loving you?” he asked.

“James, I was wife number three. Didn’t take much to connect the dots and see you got tired of me,” you said bluntly. “I wanted to know if I could count on you, and it was starting to feel like maybe I couldn’t. Then the divorce happened and everything after that just made me feel like I was right.” 

James chewed on the inside of his cheek and remained silent. 

“You didn’t fight for me,” you said quietly. “You fought for joint custody, but you didn’t fight for me. You just…accepted it.” 

“I…I didn’t know you wanted me to fight for you.” 

“Are you saying you would have?” you asked, unsure of whether or not you wanted to hear his answer. 

“I’m saying I thought I didn’t even have a chance,” he admitted. 

“So you wouldn’t have,” you clarified for him, beginning to chop the toppings into pieces and separate them into bowls. 

He chuckled humourlessly, “I have dated one person since the divorce. I hated it.” 

“Why do you have to talk in puzzles, James? Why can’t you just come out and say what you really mean?” 

“And then what?” he asked. “We go back to living in the same house. Sleep in separate rooms. Move on now that we know the truth?”

“Say it,” you put the knife down and looked him right in the eyes. 

“What are you going to do about it?” he asked, cleaning the dough off his hand. “I’m going to say it and you’re just going to stand there and I have to live with that?” 

You walked around the counter and came right up in front of him. 

“If you were listening to anything I was saying, you would stop making excuses and say it.” 

“Fine!” he threw his hands up in the air. “I still love you. I never stopped loving you. These past few months, even though stressful, have been the happiest I’ve been in so long because I feel like myself again when I’m with you and Julian. Because I feel like your husband, and I feel like a father and I keep kicking myself wondering how I could have been so stupid to lose that.” 

“Say it one more time,” you whispered, lifting your hands to hold onto his face. “Please.” 

“I love you,” his voice was softer, relieved like after being underwater he could finally breathe again. 

You finally pulled him into you, your lips hesitantly resting on his at first, before you found your rhythm again after so long. It was muscle memory, his hands finding the spot they always rested against on your hips, his lips moving in synch with yours, eventually trailing off and finding their favourite spot against your jaw and behind your ear. 

“James,” you breathed. 

“Jamie,” he mumbled against your skin. “Call me Jamie.” 

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” you repeated the nickname until he silenced you with another kiss, muffling your voice. 

“God, I missed you,” he whispered when you pulled apart, breathing heavily due to your fast beating heart. 

You closed your eyes while your forehead rested against his, feeling his nose touch yours, his hands still firmly planted on your hips when your thumbs brushed against his cheeks. 

“Jamie?” 

James snuck another small kiss at the sound of the nickname. 

“Yes, my love.” 

“Can I count on you?” 

You could feel him nod his head and confirm with a verbal ‘yes’. And even if it turned out to be a lie, at that moment you didn’t care. He had proved to you that it was possible, you could work with that. 

“I love you,” you said and kissed his nose and then you said it and kissed him again for good measure. “You told me twice; I tell you twice.” 

James moved his hands up from your hips and brushed the back of his fingers against your cheek, a warm smile coming to his face. 

And there was that look, the one you thought had vanished over time. His eyes fully transfixed on you with nothing but love and admiration. It didn’t take much to convince yourself you could get used to seeing that look for a long, long time. 

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter

[ahamasmiyodhah]

the chemistry I was reading isn't chemistrying like Rajasaab Prabhas Chemistryed with Mirchi Prabhas

when the deja slaps you right in the face. @vijayasena @voidsteffy

[mellaga-karagani]

Masterlist

Requests are open!!!

Current works:

(Ignore how unorganised these are, idk how to sort them, should I sort them by actor or movie idk please leave any suggestions if you have any 😭😭)

Promts / Dialogue sets:

Bhallaladeva 《 Bahubali》

Amarendra Baahubali 《 Bahubali 》

Devasena 《 Bahubali 》

Alluri Seetha Ramaraju 《 RRR 》

Komaram Bheem 《 RRR 》

Arjun Reddy 《 Arjun Reddy 》

Deva 《 Devadas 》

Bhairava 《 Magadheera 》

Aarya 《 Aarya》

Aarya 《 Aarya 2 》

Bantu 《 Ala Vaikunthapuramuloo 》

Rana Naidu 《 Rana Naidu 》

Siddha 《 Acharya 》

Shyam Singha Roy 《 Shyam Singha Roy 》

Nandu 《 Athadu 》

Chandu 《 Ready 》

Pandu 《 Pokiri 》

Shiva 《 Kantara 》

Oneshots:

Nandu / Pardhu 《 Athadu 》

❝I'm scared of the things I would do for you, but I also hate the idea of anyone else having you.❞

☆•☆•☆•☆•☆

Work in progress:

Deva 《 Salaar 》 (Requested by @d-genie)

Nani 《 Eega 》 (Requested by @toomanyfanficsbruh)

Nani 《 Nani's Gang Leaded》 (Requested by @toomanyfanficsbruh)

Peddodu (Vijay) 《SVSC》 (Requested by @toomanyfanficsbruh)

Chinnodu (Ajay) 《SVSC》 (Requeated by @toomanyfanficsbruh)

Hanumanthu 《HanuMan》 (Requested by @bhalare-vichitram)

Jai 《 Mirchi 》 (Requested by @futuristicclampatrolkid)

Danny Shekar 《 Bheemla Naayak 》 (Requested by @toomanyfanficsbruh)

Gana 《 Sarrainodu 》 (Requested by @mahi-wayy )

Rama Raju 《 RRR 》 (Requested by @voidsteffy )

"What if you and I were meant to part ways, only so we could find each other again?"

☆•☆•☆•☆•☆

Taglist!!:

@allari-ammayi , @vellipo-mellaga , @vijayasena , @lite-teesko , @toomanyfanficsbruh , @voidsteffy , @mahi-wayy (Please reply if you wish to be tagged in future relases!!<33)

[bcyesandisaidso]

Adopt Me inventory drop!!!!! (Pets)

I am so bored lmao

1x Diamond Griffin

1x Fallow Deer

1x Glormy Leo

1x Golden Dragon

1x Golden Griffin

Lunar Gold Tiger

1x Metal Ox

1x Peacock

1x Zodiac Minion Chick

1x Badger

1x Black Springer Spaniel

3x Corgi

1x Ginger Cat (Neon)

1x Gingerbread Reindeer

1x Gold Mahi Mahi

1x Halloween White Skeleton Dog

1x Hydra

1x King Penguin

1x Ladybug

1x Lunar White Tiger

1x Magma Snail

1x Orca

2x Persian Cat

1x Pomeranian

1x praying mantis

1x Red Panda

1x Squirrel

1x Ribbon Seal

2x Robot

1x Salamader

1x Shiba Inu

2x Skunk

1x Space Whale

1x St. Bernard

1x Starfish

2x Swordfish

2x Toasty Red Panda

2x Toucan

1x Wyvern (Fly)

1x Zombie Wolf

1x Abyssinian

1x Australia Kelpie

1x Beaver

1x Black Moon Bear

1x Bloodhound

2x Blue Jay

2x Bunny

1x Dotted Egg

1x Gecko

1x Ghost Wolf

1x Gorilla

1x Halloween Evil Duchshund

1x Hippo

1x Ibex

1x Koi Carp

2x Lunar Tiger

1x Orange Betta Fish

4x Orangutan

1x Ox (Neon)

3x Parakeet

2x Rabbit

1x Shetland Pony Dark Brown

2x Singularity Beetle

1x Singularity Pisces

1x Snow Puma

2x Starhopper

1x Weevil

1x Woodpecker

3x Zebra

1x Angler Fish

2x Banded Palm Civet

1x Bat

1x Dorhyaena Gigantica

6x Camel

1x Chickatrice

3x Chocolate Labrador

1x Dingo

8x Donkey

1x Ermine

1x Fennec Fox

1x Fossa

1x Frogspawn

2x Halloween Black Mummy Cat (1x Neon 1x Rideable)

1x Halloween Black Scorpion (Neon)

2x Kirin

2x Mahi Mahi

3x Mole

2x Poodle

2x Puma

2x Red Cardinal

2x Rhino Beetle

1x Rock Pigeon

1x Rodeo Bull

1x Slug

4x Snow Cat

1x Snow Leopard (Neon)

1x Tanuki

1x Warthog

1x Angler Fish

5x Ant (1x Neon)

1x Bandicoot

1x Beluga whale (Neon)

3x Bufflo

4x Cat (1x Neon)

1x Chick

1x Cockroach (Neon)

1x Dog (Neon)

1x Flying Fish

3x Garden Snake

1x Kid Goat

1x Maleo bird

9x Mouse

2x Otter (1x Neon)

3x Piranha

1x Walrus

3x Wolpertiger

[lildepressyy]

behen ka laudaaa saala mujhe bolta hai khade hoke bata de abe madarchod behen ke take khud toh chutiye se ek glass pani ke lie bhi nahi utha jata itna hi hai to ko khud uthke bolde na sala chutiya kahika seriously mar ja pata mahi kya karne aaya hai idhar harami sala maa se baap ka kaam kara raha hai aur khudko raja samajh rakha hai hum naukar ki tarah tere aage peeche ghum te rahe sara kaam karte rahe tere seriously bhagwan se bas yehi ek maang hai iccha jai ki iss bosdk ko heart attack aa jaye ya ajr kuch bhi aa jaye and one the spot mar jaye ye sabko shanti milegi

[roll-a-troll]

Your name is Ergler Niecul, preferred honorific Miss. You use jay/jem/jaer/jaers/jemself, and your blood runs fuschia. Your sign is Pittanius, for better or for worse. you can't help but wonder what that means For reasons you cannot define, you feel something of an affinity to the idea of being a Thief. You are 5 sweeps old, and you've an interest in table tennis, and dabble in troll worldbuilding- At least, when the mood allows. You were brought up by your unusual lusus, Mahi-mahidad, and you aspire to be like your ancestor, Fusi Tyrannical Ascension. You like to think you're pretty good at umbrella. You think you're going to run away, maybe hide as a violet. You use the handle exhaustedTigress on pesterchum. via roll-a-troll https://ift.tt/9iqTWCA, do as you please

[filmiduniyapk]

'Dybbuk' (2021) | Emraan Hashmi headlines a watchable horror-thriller |

Dybbuk Movie: 

Emraan Hashmi, Nikita Dutta film has zero chills

Mahi, a newly married woman, brings an antique Jewish box into her home. When Mahi and her husband Sam begin to have paranormal experiences, they soon learn that the box is a dybbuk containing an evil spirit. The couple then seeks the help of a rabbi to unravel its mystery. Will they survive this ordeal before their child is born?

===========================================

Movie: Dybbuk Dybbuk Cast: Emraan Hashmi, Nikita Dutta, Manav Kaul, Denzel Smith, Vipin Sharma Dybbuk Director: Jay K Where to Watch: Amazon Prime

[hanumanchalisa01]

Hanuman Chalisa in English

Hanuman Chalisa is a devotional hymn dedicated to Lord Hanumanji, who is known for his strength, courage and loyalty. Hanumanji is also known as monkey god in hindu. The Chalisa consists of forty verses, each of one praises Lord Hanuman and tells the story of his greatness.

The Hanuman Chalisa was written by sant Shri Tulsidas, who was a Hindu saint and poet and he lived in the 16th century. According to Tulsidas, he was inspired to write the Chalisa after having a vision of Lord Hanuman, who asked him to compose a prayer in his honor.

The Chalisa is a popular prayer among Hindus and it is recited by millions of people around the world. It is said to get blessings and protection to those who recite it with devotion.

The Chalisa begins with an invocation to Lord Hanuman, asking for his blessings and protection. It then goes on to describe Lord Hanuman's physical appearance and his many virtues. The Chalisa also tells the story of Lord Hanuman's many heroic deeds, including his role in helping Lord Rama defeat the demon king Ravana in the epic Hindu tale, the Ramayana.

Starting verse of the Chalisa phrase is "Jai Hanuman," which means "victory of Hanumanji." This phrase is often repeated by those reciting the Chalisa as a way of expressing their devotion and reverence for Lord Hanuman.

The Chalisa is often recited during religious ceremonies and festivals, as well as during daily prayers and meditation. Many people believe that reciting the Chalisa can help them to overcome obstacles, improve their health and well-being and bring them closer to Lord Hanuman.

In addition to its religious significance, the Hanuman Chalisa is also valued for its literary and poetic qualities. The Chalisa is written in a simple yet powerful style, making it accessible to people of all ages and religions. Its themes of devotion, courage and service are universal and continue to inspire people around the world. Here we provide Hanuman Chalisa Lyrics in English below:

Hanuman Chalisa Lyrics in English PDF

॥ Doha ॥

Shri guru charan saroj raj neej manu mukur sudhari । Baranu raghubar bimal jasu jo dayaku phal chari ॥

Buddhi-heen tanu janike sumeero pavan kumar । Bal buddhi bidya dehu mohi harahu kalesh bikar ॥

॥ Chaupayee ॥

॥Jai Hanuman gyan gun sagar । Jai kapis tihu lok ujagar ॥01॥

Ram doot atulit bal dhama ।Anjaani-putra pavan sut nama ॥02॥

Mahabir bikram Bajrangi । Kumati nivar sumati ke sangi ॥03॥

Kanchan baran biraj subesa ।Kanan kundal kunchit kesa ॥04॥

Hath bajra aur dhvaja biraje । Kaandhe munj janeu saje ॥05॥

Sankar suvan Kesari nandan ।Tej pratap maha jag bandan ॥06॥

Bidyavaan guni ati chatur । Ram kaj karibe ko aatur ॥07॥

Prabhu charitra sunibe-ko rasiya ।Ram Lakhan Sita maan basiya ॥08॥

Sukshma roop dhari Siyahi dikhava । Bikat roop dhari Lank jarava ॥09॥

Bhim roop dhari asur sahare ।Ramachandra ke kaj savare ॥10॥

Laye sanjivan Lakhan jiyaye । Shri Raghuvir harashi ur laye ॥11॥

Raghupati kinhi bahut badhaee ।Tum mam priye Bharat-hi-sam bhai ॥12॥

Sahas badan tumharo jas gaave । Asa-kahi Shripati kantha lagave ॥13॥

Sankadik brahmadi munisa ।Narad-sarad sahit ahisa ॥14॥

Jum Kuber digpaal jaha teh । Kabi Kovid kahi sake kahan teh ॥15॥

Tum upkar Sugreevahi keenha ।Ram milaye rajpad deenha ॥16॥

Tumharo mantra Vibhishan maana । Lankeshvar bhaye sab jag jana ॥17॥

Yug sahastra jojan par bhanu ।Leelyo tahi madhur phaal janu ॥18॥

Prabhu mudrika meli mukh mahi । Jaladi langhi gaye achraj nahi ॥19॥

Durgaam kaj jagat ke jete ।Sugam anugraha tumhre tete ॥20॥

Ram duwaare tum rakhvare । Hoat na adyna binu paisare ॥21॥

Sab sukh lahe tumhari sarna ।Tum rakshak kahu ko darna ॥22॥

Aapan tej samharo aape । Teenho lok hank teh kanpe ॥23॥

Bhoot pisaach nikat nahin aave ।Mahabir jab naam sunave ॥24॥

Nase rog hare sab peera । Japat nirantar Hanumant beera ॥25॥

Sankat se Hanuman chudave ।Man karam bachan dyan jo lave ॥26॥

Sab par Ram tapasvee raja । Teen ke kaj sakal tum saja ॥27॥

Aur manorath jo koi lave ।Sohi amit jeevan phal pave ॥28॥

Charo yug partap tumhara । Hai parasiddha jagat ujiyara ॥29॥

Sadhu sant ke tum rakhware ।Asur nikanandan Ram dulare ॥30॥

Ashta-sidhi nav nidhi ke daata । Asabar deen Janki mata ॥31॥

Ram rasayan tumhare pasa ।Sada raho Raghupati ke dasa ॥32॥

Tumhare bhajan Ram ko paave । Janam-janam ke dukh bisrave ॥33॥

Anth-kaal Raghubar pur jaee ।Jaha janma Hari-bhakht kahaee ॥34॥

Aur devta chitta na dharaee । Hanumanth se he sarba sukh karaee ॥35॥

Sankat kate-mite sab peera ।Jo sumire Hanumat balbeera ॥36॥

Jai Jai Jai Hanuman gosaee । Krupa karahu gurudev ki naee ॥37॥

Jo sath baar paath kar koi ।Chuthee bandhi maha sukh hoee ॥38॥

Jo yaha padhe Hanuman Chalisa । Hoye Siddhi Sakhi Gaurisa ॥39॥

Tulsidas sada Hari chera ।Keeje nath hridaye maha dera ॥40॥

॥ Doha ॥

॥Pawan tanay sankat haran mangal murti roop । Ram Lakhan Sita sahit hriday basahu sur bhoop ॥

॥ Bol Jai Bajarangabali ki Jai । Pavan Putra Hanuman ki Jai ॥ 

॥ Jai Shri Ram ॥

In conclusion, the Hanuman Chalisa is a beloved prayer among Hindus and is an important part of their religious and cultural heritage. Its timeless message of devotion, courage, and service continues to inspire people of all faiths and backgrounds to this day.

[thebobby1432world]

Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu Cast, Release Date, Real Names

Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu Cast: Sursuri Li is the latest web series by Ullu. The web series was released on 1 July 2022. It is available to watch online on the official website and the Ullu app. Ajay Mehra (Sur), Nidhi Mahavan (Surili), Jay Shanker Tripathi (Rajan), Ankur Malhotra (Dawood), and Mahi Khan (Kamini) play the lead in the series. The audience loves the web series. The series received good responses from the audience.

Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu Cast Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu CastSursuri Li Web Series Ullu Story Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu All Details

Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu Cast

- Ajay Mehra (Sur) - Nidhi Mahavan (Surili) - Jay Shanker Tripathi (Rajan) - Ankur Malhotra (Dawood) - Mahi Khan (Kamini) Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu Story The story is about Sur Kumar Dulari's sole ambition in life is to wed the girl of his dreams, an ideal partner who embodies all of his aspirations. However, his father's expectations stand in the way of his dream. The plot takes an intriguing turn when Sur meets Surili, a woman whose yearnings align perfectly with his own. Yet, this is not the end of their love story, as an unforeseen twist is yet to be revealed. Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu GenreDramaCastAjay Mehra (Sur),Nidhi Mahavan (Surili),Jay Shanker Tripathi (Rajan),Ankur Malhotra (Dawood),Mahi Khan (Kamini)OTTUlluRelease Date1 July 2022CategoryWeb Series Sursuri Li Web Series Ullu All Details - Genre: Drama, Romance - Release Date: 1 July 2022 - Director: Hasan Shahid Naqvi - Language: Hindi - OTT Platform: Ullu Disclaimer: The above information is for general informational purposes only. All information on the Site is provided in good faith. However, we make no representation or warranty of any kind, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, adequacy, validity, reliability, availability, or completeness of any information on the Site. Read the full article

[bhaskarhindinews]

Jay Bhanushali Give Foot Massage To Her Pregnant Wife Mahhi Vij

प्रेग्नेंसी में अपनी पत्नी का इस तरह ख्याल रखते हैं जय, माही ने वीडियो शेयर कर बताया

एक्टर जय भानुशाली और माही विज इस समय बहुत खुश हैं। जल्द ही उनके घर छोटा मेहमान जो आने वाला है। माही इस समय अपने प्रेग्नेंसी टाइम को जमकर एंजॉय कर रही हैं। जय भी उनका बहुत अच्छे से ख्याल रख रहे हैं। इस बात की जानकारी माही ने खुद सोशल मीडिया पर दी।

आगे पढ़ने के लिए यहां क्लिक करें -  https://www.bhaskarhindi.com/news/jay-bhanushali-give-foot-massage-to-her-pregnant-wife-mahhi-vij-70944

[voidsteffy]

being annoying babe I am, I wanna ask how is the jai fic progress???

It's outttttttttt!

For context: mahi asked me to write her a Jai (from Mirchi) x fem!OC fic and I just published it! So here goes

[rudrjobdesk]

Mahhi Vij: जय भानुशाली और माही विज के कुक को पुलिस ने किया गिरफ्तार, जान से मारने की दी थी धमकी

Mahhi Vij: जय भानुशाली और माही विज के कुक को पुलिस ने किया गिरफ्तार, जान से मारने की दी थी धमकी

Image Source : INSTAGRAM Jai Bhanushali and Mahi Vij Mahhi Vij: टीवी की मशहूर जोड़ी जय भानुशाली (Jay Bhanushali) और माही विज (Mahhi Vij) ने हाल ही में अपने कुक के खिलाफ शिकायत दर्ज करवाई थी। इस कपल के कुक ने उन्हें जान से मारने की धमकी दी थी। जिसके चलते माही और जय दोनों ही काफी परेशान थे। खासकर अपनी नन्हीं बेटी तारा को लेकर दोनों परेशान थे। लेकिन अब पुलिस ने जय भानुशाली और माही विज के कुक को…

[superyoungcollectordreamlan-blog]

Bilal Saeed is a Pakistani singer-songwriter, music producer and music composer. Since the beginning of his career in 2011, he has received various awards nominations in Pakistan, India and United Kingdom. He is the only Pakistani to get nominated for PTC Punjabi Music Awards and Brit Asia Awards

#Bilal Saeed hit Songs#Bilal Saeed Songs 2018#Bilal Saeed Songs 2017#all Bilal Saeed Songs#Bilal Saeed punjabi Songs #12 Saal#guru randhawa songs#Mahi Mahi#Adhi Adhi Raat#Mahiya#Dil#Ja Jay Tu Jana#Ijazat#2 Number#Heeriye#Ku Ku  Tu Meri Janaa#Bilal Saeed Songs#Bilal Saeed Hit Songs

[palellamapenguin]

Bilal Saeed is a Pakistani singer-songwriter, music producer and music composer. Since the beginning of his career in 2011, he has received various awards nominations in Pakistan, India and United Kingdom. He is the only Pakistani to get nominated for PTC Punjabi Music Awards and Brit Asia Awards

#Bilal Saeed hit Songs

#Bilal Saeed Songs 2018

#Bilal Saeed Songs 2017

#all Bilal Saeed Songs

#Bilal Saeed punjabi Songs

#12 Saal

#guru randhawa songs

#Mahi Mahi

#Adhi Adhi Raat

#Mahiya

#Dil

#Ja Jay Tu Jana

#Ijazat

#2 Number

#Heeriye

#Ku Ku  Tu Meri Janaa

#Bilal Saeed Songs

#Bilal Saeed Hit Songs

[entertainmentchacha]

jay bhanushali And Mahi vij cook: Mahi Vij was threatened with death by his cook, the actress said - for the daughter

jay bhanushali And Mahi vij cook: Mahi Vij was threatened with death by his cook, the actress said – for the daughter

Mahi is upset after Jai Bhanushali and Mahi Vij’s cook threaten to kill him and his daughter. Jay bhanushali And Mahi vij cook A big news has come out related to well-known TV actress Mahi Vij and television actor host Jai Bhanushali. TV actress and model Mahi Vij is going through a difficult phase these days. Actually, the servant working in his house has threatened to kill Mahi. The couple had…