#made something for the enjoyment and to spend time with myself

[andypantsx3]

did not get as much writing done as i wanted during my first day to myself in 4 weeks (😭) but roo did help me do yoga for the first time in forever (standing under me and putting her mouth in my mouth) read half a book (i have not read anything in 4 weeks straight) and i made the BEST steak and asparagus of my life, with a little lemon parm arugula salad on the side. i cook red meat like once a year so this was huge.

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i'm pretty sure i've cut all content consumption out of my routine now

i don't mean that in the sense of i no longer consume content, i mean i've managed to remove it from routine behaviour

yes i will scroll instagram but it's not the first thing i do on waking until i get through all the posts since yesterday. it's just something i choose to do when i feel like it

yes i will watch youtube but i no longer go through all videos since yesterday from all the channels i'm subscribed to and watch them all or add it to watch later if i can't squeeze it into the day. this was my most recent success so i'm avoiding my subscriptions tab so i don't fall into the hole and am instead looking up individual channel videos to watch for no more than an hour. when i'm convinced my brain will behave i believe i will be able to scroll subscriptions casually and only when i want to.

this used to cause me such trouble because i genuinely saw these things as part of my routine so i'd be over here like man my routine of consuming content is all messed up because i went out for the day with someone i will need to double it tomorrow to fix it so i'm back on track. or i'd be like kinda wanted to do this today but a youtuber i follow uploaded a 2 hour video so I won't be able to fit it in :/

anyway that was trash. now i think i just have routines around food (3 meals a day) and work/study. Everything else is clean and free. I can do whatever I feel like when i have free time. i feel a little lost now but at least i'm no longer spending hours on content consumption when it's not actually making me happy

[callmerainman]

Alastor with a pure hearted s/o

a/n I'm fully aware that Alastor is aroace. My scenarios are meant to be interpreted as a deep, unconditional love, not necessarily romantic. I'm not aroace but I'm all for educating myself, so please if something's off let me (gently) know. Hope you enjoy :)

TW! canon typical violence

being a twisted person is not a requirement to reincarnate in Hell. Sins depend on religion, culture, societal norms. You were more of a victim, in fact.

you never got used to being in Hell. Surviving not only the Extermination but also the inhabitants becomes harder and harder every year.

it's kill or be killed, but you just can't bring yourself to do any harm to anyone, even if it means risking your own life.

as soon as you hear about princess Charlie Morningstar's new hotel for souls who want a second chance, your bags are PACKED

it's not like you really need redemption, you are pure hearted already. it's more a matter of understanding the reasons why you ended in Hell and coming to terms with them. maybe then the gates of Heaven would open for you. it's also a safer place for you to be.

Charlie welcomes you excitedly; Angel Dust, Husk and Vaggie aren't that friendly at first since your personalities don't match, but they eventually grow fond of you

and then there's, well...the Radio Demon.

you never met an Overlord before, and Alastor was supposed to be gone for years. But his presence wasn't frightening. A big smile spread across his face, he welcomed you like a gentleman.

you heard stories about his lifestyle and even previous murderous acts as a human, but for some reason you just can't bring yourself to fear him.

at first you were kinda pathetic to him. so naive, out of touch with the evils of Hell. he didn't dislike you. just thought your life was so easy to throw away in a society like that and that you wouldn't last long.

it seems like you two don't have much to share. he just wanders in his den, while you spend time in your room. you greet each other and have small talks, but nothing more than that. that's until he hears jazz music play behind your door.

he mentions it during dinner, and you start talking about your interest in 30s jazz music, especially the one of the Roaring 20s. you come from a later era, but you're very much cultured about jazz and its forms and that's enough for Alastor to develop an interest in you.

he has so many jazz artists recommendations, and you share some of your favourite pieces with him through your gramophone.

without even noticing, Alastor starts spending hours in your room just listening to music. some time even practicing swing dancing. and talking about jazz culture all around the world, and entertainment in general. he has many fun facts about the history of radio too!

the others at the hotel notice your growing bond and low-key support it, in their own, weird way. Angel Dust is especially convinced that you two are hooking up, as Husk not-so-kindly explains that it's more likely for Alastor to ascend to Heaven than express interest in sex.

you would start to open yourself up a bit to the Radio Demon. he doesn't understand why, since it didn't ask or never showed much empathy. but he just can't bring himself to tell you to stop. he wants to listen.

you manage to make him talk about some glimpses of his own life and thoughts. you knew that he was the complete opposite of you. incline to Evil, an enjoyer of all things that made your stomach clench. but he's still the one person who spends hours with you just listening to both jazz and your fears.

one day, Alastor decided that in no way you are walking around the city without him. it's just too dangerous for you. he tries to teach you how to use weapons and demonic powers to defend yourself but he doesn't feel like you can make it into Hell by yourself.

you like strolling through the streets with him, arms intertwined, chatting and laughing even if demons around you are shitting their pants just by seeing the Overlord walking around.

but one day, Alastor can't find you.

you're not in your room, or in the Hotel hall. No one saw you that morning. He starts to feel something he never felt in his life: fear.

he darts out the Hotel, trying to find you. that's when he sees you just a few streets away.

a group of animal-like demons is encircling you. you are on your knees, arms over your head to protect yourself. A lion-demon is holding a knife over you and your arms are covered in cuts. you hold something close to your stomach.

that's when Alastor realized that he had feelings for you.

when he threw himself between you and the demons attacking you.

it's the first time you see Alastor without a smile. his teeth are gritted, face full of unprecedented violence and will to kill, breathing heavily in and out in a sort of animalistic way, but there's no trace of his characteristic smile you love.

his body starts to morph into his full demon form. his horns grow exponentially, his body too as it hovers menacingly on top of your aggressors as they start to feel a pure fear they never felt before.

in a matter of a second, they are gone. Alastor has always been a calculated, elegant killer, but this time he only felt a raw, ferocious instinct to kill.

as he's done, he turns around towards you. he doesn't want to, but he snaps.

"W̶̞̐H̷̻͒Y̷̰̅ ̶̠͛D̸͕́I̸͔̍D̴̿͜ ̷̯̇Y̶̭͌Ỏ̴̬U̵̖̍ ̷̛͎Ģ̷̕O̸̩͑ ̷̹̈́O̶̮͆U̸͍̇T̴̙͆ ̷̧̀W̴͓̅I̷̞͑T̸̗͒H̴̹͒O̴̺̓Ṷ̵̂T̵̺̚ ̵̢́M̴̜̅E̶̬̋?̸̻͋!̸̦͂"

you flinch, you never saw Alastor lose his composure. he was always so calm and collected. his voice was static, choppy.

the tears that were cornering your eyes start streaming down your face "I-I..."

"Ţ̶̈Ḧ̴͙́Ė̵̩Ỳ̷̳ ̷̳̒Ã̸̡L̷̛͚M̶͇̚O̸͈̔S̴̜̎T̸͚̊ ̷̤͝K̷͊͜I̵̺͝L̵͚̎L̴̤̆Ẽ̴͖D̶͍̈́ ̵̻͝Y̵̰̑O̸̜͘Ù̶͍!̵̻͝ ̸͓̾D̴̯͒O̶̅͜Ṉ̶̌'̷̹͒T̵͎͋ ̶̺́Y̴̹͂O̶͍̅U̴̘͌ ̵̘̾Û̷̪N̸̩̊D̵͎̋Ȅ̴͜R̵̮͂S̸̰̄T̸̝̅A̵͓͘N̷̩͂Ḏ̴̀?̵̗̍!̸̭̎"

suddenly, your bleeding arms fall from your head. you expose what you've been protecting all along.

a vinyl, a really old record from Alastor's favourite jazz artist. a rare find.

"I-I know but...tomorrow it's your death anniversary and I wanted to give this to you...as a surprise. I'm sorry"

Alastor's face immediately softens. Eyebrows raised, smile still not seen. He's just surprised and...moved.

He doesn't say anything, he just picks you up in his arms and takes you back to the Hotel where he bandages your arms.

Feeling guilty for putting yourself in danger, you ask Alastor to come to your room in order to apologize to him.

As he closes the door behind him, he says that there's no need to apologize.

"I'm...glad that you are still in your room. Listening to jazz, alive"

words didn't come easy, but he did feel the need to say it. you smile at him.

you propose to put his gift on the gramophone and so you do. music starts to flow between the small space you shared with the Radio Demon.

that's when you and Alastor start slow dancing. his arms around your waist, yours encircling his neck. his smile is back, but soft and...almost loving.

with his silent agreement, you reach for his cheek and graze it.

"Thank you for saving me, Alastor. Even if you are everything I distance myself from in this life...I'm glad you are the person that you are with me. In my next life, I'll make sure to be a sinner again if it means dancing with you like this"

Alastor now understands his feelings. It's something deeper than care. It's love. But not the same love you reserve to a friend and not even romantic. It's something deeper, more visceral.

He doesn't answer, just closes his eyes and leans in to press his forehead against yours.

you later fall asleep on your bed to the quiet sound of the gramophone playing, hands intertwined on Alastor's chest.

[versadies]

FOR ME? (neuvillette x gn!reader)

SALUTATIONS. for me?

ADDRESSED. neuvillette (x gn!reader)

STAMP. in which he came back from his trip to qiaoying village and brought a few things for you!

CONTENT. ooc (?), fluff/no-angst, established relationship, possibly cheesy, possible grammar errors, takes place during hustle and bustle quest from the recent lantern rite update!

POST-SCRIPT. here’s my post dedicated to @staarri’s birthday and milestone event — congratulations on your milestone and happy belated birthday to you, zira! furthermore, this fic is inspired by a wriolette fanart made by @/visualkid_n that i saw on my feed !!

LINKS. masterlist / taglist

For a man such as NEUVILLETTE who is as busy as can be and rarely leaves Fontaine, you thought you were in a different universe when your lover first told you that he’ll be going on a trip to Liyue and visit Qiaoying Village. It’s not often to find your lover taking a break from his duties as the Iudex, let alone travel to another nation with his busy schedule, yet here he was.

He tried to invite you really, telling you that he’d like you to come with him and spend time together, but given your schedule, you could only turn him down despite wanting to accept.

And so you spent half a day with your lover away from the nation, often wondering how he is and if he’s not sulking too much about you not being able to come with him. Though, knowing how he is, you’re sure he’ll be alright – he can live in not seeing you for a day.

Take note, it was only half a day.

To your surprise, Neuvillette came back home much earlier than expected, standing by your doorstep with a few bags in hand, his eyes brightening at the sight of you.

“How was your trip?” You asked as you provided him some water for him to drink after he came inside your shared home.

“It was… quite enjoyable, but not as much as I longed for you to be there with me.” He responds softly, thanking you for the drink before taking a sip.

You gave him an apologetic smile, sitting down next to him on the sofa. “Sorry.. I’ll come with you next time when you decide to travel again.” You spoke, before glancing at the numerous items that are placed on the floor. “Though may I ask, what are all these items for?”

Neuvillette placed his cup down, glancing at the items as well before saying casually, “Ah, they’re for you, my dear.”

Come again?

You blinked a few times, staring at your lover as if he just told you the most absurd thing.

“Eh? All of them…?” You clarified.

It didn’t help that the Iudex looked unbothered, as if this is almost nothing for him. “Yes, of course. Why do you look so surprised?” He asks. “I was only thinking of you and how you were while I was away, and I happened to find a lot of things that reminded me of you.”

“Neuvi…” You said, staring down at the bag, still processing the fact that your lover bought so many things in one day just for you. “I do hope you’re aware that you didn’t have to do such things! This is quite shocking for me!” You commented.

He hummed. “I am aware, of course. But I happen to find myself making a few spontaneous decisions that’s inspired from my trip. Do forgive me, my dear, I did miss you after all.”

You could only sigh with a smile of defeat. “Well, it’s not as if I can reject such thoughtful gestures from you, but do go on and tell me more about your trip. How was Qiaoying Village? I read Charlotte's article about Liyue’s tea industry earlier.”

“The trip is quite refreshing. I took the opportunity to try their local spring water, and the aftertaste is much purer than what was delivered to me in Fontaine.” He said with a pleased look.

You find yourself listening intently to him as he goes on about the waters of Liyue, not being able to hide the amused look on your face from how fond he is about tasting water, and it only took a few minutes before he changed the subject to something else.

“Ah, that reminds me, I mentioned earlier that my trip happened to inspire a few spontaneous decisions, and one of them happened to be trying out ceramics.” He explains.

“My, the Iudex trying out ceramics?” You teased, causing his mouth to twitch upwards more.

“It’s quite an interesting activity. I’ve never once thought about how quotidian vessels were crafted until I participated in their very making. Nonetheless, I made something for you.” He adds.

To your shock, Neuvillette brought out a tea set with a design that reminded you of a certain sea creature. Who knew your lover would be amazing at the ceramic arts?

“Neuvi, you made these? For me?” You ask, aweing at the cute design that he made. “They’re so cute! You did such an amazing job, you made it by hand and everything!” You flattered him.

He smiled more from your compliment, placing the tea set down on the coffee table for you to touch and admire his work that he made just for you. “I thought it’d be good to give you this. It’d mean a lot to me if you’d accept.”

“Of course I will! You made this yourself, I couldn’t ask anything more than that.” You replied.

Suddenly, an idea came to your mind. “Tell you what, why don’t we use this for water tasting together when the next delivery arrives?”

“That’ll make me all the more happier, my dear.”

PENPALS. @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @ragnvdnr @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @owozi8 @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii @jiminscarmex @mitsukii14 @ylimeprive @sachispet @loreleis-world @sn-owo @starforecasts @someonetookmynamelmao @ceylestia @astrequa @ymikkos @reallysporadicarcade @melodyyamino @dudufodd @somberrock @yevenly @lemontum @nghing @shaiah @miss-lady-witch @yashe @imkaaayy @badlywrittens @0rah-s @totallynotaraidensimp @garlicforthewin

[nekropsii]

Hello, pardon and I don’t want to be a bother but I would like to ask for your take on something. And if you’re not down to answer this question, that’s completely fine, you seem to make large opinion posts on a noteworthy basis so I understand if you don’t have the energy or motivation to give an opinion right now.

But I wanted to ask for your take on the ethics of enjoying Homestuck in the modern day. Many people such as myself and seemingly you as well enjoy Homestuck but are painfully aware of all the gross stuff in it. And as I see the comic pop up in more and more dni lists, with people claiming that enjoyers of Homestuck are supporting these things inherently, no matter the fact that most of us stand against Hussie and attempt to reclaim Homestuck as something to express joy and our identities in, it makes me wonder more and more the ethics of enjoying Homestuck. Since you seem to have thoughts on the matter, I was wondering if you’d like to share your take.

I once again want to stress though, absolutely no pressure to answer. I am not entitled to your time or hearing your opinion. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I was just asking in case you wanted to speak about it.

Hi, Anon! This is a very interesting question, and you were right to assume I have thoughts on it. They might not be as long and complicated as some of my other essays, but they still exist, and I would quite like to share them. Thank you for the opportunity.

My opinion on The Ethics of Enjoying Homestuck is that I believe it's perfectly fine to do so. I also think it's perfectly fine to dislike, or hate, or not want to associate with it or any fans of it. This is a personal boundary set by and for the individual, and it's not my business to question, nor my place to cross it. However, I don't really agree with the way some people go about communicating or enforcing this boundary. I've seen some people put Homestuck and Harry Potter on the same level before. I've seen some say that enjoyment of either piece of fiction is, at least in part, comparable. I heavily disagree with this- and the fact that this is a point that comes up shows to me that there's quite a few people who don't actually fully understand why so many people are saying to stop supporting Harry Potter.

The conflation of the two things reads to me as if some believe that Harry Potter has been "cancelled for having a problematic creator"- and that's not wholly true. Yes, J.K. Rowling is, by definition, problematic, and she is the creator of the Harry Potter franchise, but people have drawn such a hard line against supporting the series not just because J.K. Rowling is Transphobic, but because she has honest to god legislative power. She is, as it stands, currently the backbone of the TERF movement, and is spending a lot of time and money to ensure that Transphobes dominate the government. Monetary support of Harry Potter pools into her funds, which adds to her ability to further Trans Genocide. Communal/Fandom support of Harry Potter increases her visibility as a public figure, which adds to her ability to further Trans Genocide. J.K. Rowling has made very clear statements saying that she takes any support of the Harry Potter franchise- any at all, including Queer/LGBT+ Friendly fan content- as support of her beliefs. Support of Harry Potter is a method of legitimizing and validating Transphobia, and is being used as a way to further Trans Genocide.

If J.K. Rowling was just an average Transphobe, the outcry would not be nearly as severe, and the line wouldn't be nearly as clear cut. It would just be disappointing, bring to mind the phrase "same shit as always", and many would make the personal choice to distance themselves from it. But that's not the reality we live in. We live in the reality where J.K. Rowling has sway on the government, and is getting real people hurt and killed.

Andrew Hussie, creator of Homestuck, however, is just some random asshole with no political power outside of his own vote. Yes, Homestuck is filled with plenty of unsavory elements- random out-of-place interjections of Hussie's own past bigotry included- but at the end of the day, Homestuck has no influence over government action. Hussie has no tangible political influence, and does not want to have tangible political influence. We don't even have evidence that Hussie still holds the same beliefs as he did during and prior to the creation of Homestuck. This is just some random indie comic, made by some random guy in 2009. J.K. Rowling is dangerously close to billionaire status, and using that power for evil.

It's fine to like something that's not very morally clean- or something made by a not very morally clean artist, during a not very morally clean point in time in a not very morally clean place in this world. It's okay. The fixation some have on this is OCD-inducing. The best that can be asked is that one recognizes the bigotry, and doesn't perpetuate them. That's all. You can read, watch, play, and enjoy just about anything, as long as you don't make the more unsavory elements out to be a good thing. Don't start acting like Racism is awesome, or Antisemitism is cool, or Transphobia is based, et cetera, and you'll be totally fine.

The ability to find value in something impure or unsavory is a valuable one. Some may not want to associate with that, or find the particular flaw in the work in question to be too uncomfortable to stomach, and that's fine, too. Not everyone can just sit through Era-Appropriate Casual Homophobia or Racism and come out feeling fine enough to keep going. I'd argue- hope, even- that most feel at least a bit bothered by such things. It's all about personal tolerance levels. No one's committing a moral crime by either enjoying it or not wanting to even look at it.

[bountycancelled]

LOST CAUSE

bada x reader (part 1)

MASTERLIST | NEXT

warnings: none really, it's just kinda sad

content: petnames (only one is used in reference to reader, but a few are mentioned) alcohol mentions (reader drinks away her feels) sad gays and bad gays, unedited becusse I'm lazy, a whole lotta projecting myself onto reader

being bada's best friend would be the death of you, you were calling it right now.

she wasn't a bad friend by any means, quite the opposite actually. from the late night talks that would last until the early mornings before you both passed out, the tiny, sentimental gifts she would randomly get for you without expecting anything in return, to the way she would hold you, god, she was perfect. you loved everything about her.

but, that was the problem, wasn't it? you loved her. and a part of you wants to blame her for making it so easy, falling for her, but you know that would be unfair. not only because she wasn't leading you on or anything, but also because she couldn't do any wrong in your eyes.

everytime your heart fluttered at one of her actions, it would sink just as quickly. she's doing this as a friend, you would always remind yourself. but your not so friendly reminders didn't stop you from hoping. for something more, that one day, miracously, bada would realise that she was in lo–

"what's got you so worried?" you were pulled out of your daily dose of dramatic reality checking by none other than bada. her head was in your lap, she stared up at you with a look that you could only describe as... content. comfortable. and so, so beautiful.

"huh?" you answered, having not heard her clearly, too busy being in your head instead of in the real world, where unfortunately, you belonged.

she raised her arm and pressed on the space between your eyebrows, a small pout on her face. "you're frowning. what's wrong, pretty?"

the nicknames. the fucking. nicknames.

pretty, gorgeous, baby, love, honey. it was things like that made you believe, even if just for a moment, that she knew that you liked her, loved her, and was just toying with you for enjoyment.

you'd feel guilty everytime you had that thought. she wouldn't. not to you, not to anyone, not ever.

"it's nothing, really. I'm just in a mood today." you shrugged, hoping that she would, for your sake, take your half-hearted explanation and leave it there.

she nodded, clearly unconvinced, but moved one nonetheless. "do you still wanna go to the club tonight? we can cancel and spend the night together instead." she offered, lifting her head off of your lap in favour of placing it on your shoulder, waiting for your answer.

"no, we can still go, we'll just come back here together. we've blown off our friends enough times, I'm starting to feel bad." you joked, and once again, the atmosphere was light and airy. with that settled, you both stood up, trying to find something to wear for the nights activities.

you walked into her closet, sprinkled with tops and skirts from your own, almost laughing at the absurdity of the situation. for someone who claimed that being around bada was painful, your personal stamp on her home sure made it hard to believe.

"how's this?" you said for what felt like the 29th time to bada (it was only the third) as you spun around for her, showing off one of your options for the night.

she sat at the edge of the bed, ready to go about 20 minutes before you, as she usually was. her head was tilted back, staring at the ceiling as she waited patiently for you to finally choose something to wear.

you tried not to stare at her neck, which she made easier for you by finally looking at you, tilting her head to the side as she inspected your outfit.

"I was gonna say its looks as good as the other two because you look amazing in anything and everything, but... I like this one. a lot."

the way she looked at you when she said that, with her bottom lip between her teeth, stayed with you as you walked to the club together, hand in hand. did she really have no idea how much she affected you? you weren't sure if you hoped that she didn't, or did.

but you weren't going to think of that tonight. you were going to drink, and dance, and hang out with your friends, and not let bada affect you. if only for just one night.

okay, maybe you had had one too many drinks by now, but you weren't drunk just yet. it was still the normal you, just with a few tweaks. a little less shame here, a little more confidence here, nothing too major.

you were half in minah's lap and half in tatters, singing obnoxiously, almost as loud as the song blasting from the speakers. you weren't even thinking of bada... wait, where the hell was bada?

you squinted your eyes as they darted across the dance floor, hopelessly trying to locate her in the dim lighting of the club. but you didn't have to look for long, because she was headed back to your table, a smile painted on her face.

you stood up, suprisingly not stumbling as you walked up to her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. "where were you?" you shouted over the music, wearing a curious expression.

she bit her lip excitedly before speaking into your ear, sending involuntary shivers down your spine. damn you and your natural charm, bada.

"I met a girl." you didn't mean for your face to drop in the way that it did, but from the looks of it, bada didn't even notice. if she did, then she didn't mention it.

"she actually wants to come over to my place..." bada trailed off, sending you a pleading look, a certain lust-driven glee shining in her eyes.

"oh." you said flatly before you could stop yourself, moving your arms away from her and crossing them over your chest.

she quickly wrapped her arms around your middle, squeezing while pleading her case in an effort to soften the blow. it doesn't help, not one bit.

"I know we were supposed to have a binging marathon, but please baby? just this once? I'll make it up to you real good, you know I always do." 'because I always let you.' you wanted to add, but you bit your tongue, you weren't feining for a fight with bada right about now.

you sigh, your arms hanging limply by your sides. "okay. I'll just crash at lushers'." you fight the urge to gag as she squeals in excitement, at the prospect of spending the night with someone who isn't you.

she gave you a curious look, most likely sensing your jealousy apprehension, her arms still around you, feeling more suffocating than comforting at that moment.

"...are you sure?" no. I'm not, don't go with her.

you nodded furiously, removing her arms from your frame, and turning her around, pushing her toward the dance floor where she had left her pursuit for the night. "go, she'll think you're blowing her off if you keep talking to me."

"are you actually, super, one hundred percent certain that I can go with her?" she pushed you further, and you knew that she knew that you weren't really all that okay with it.

but what was the point? you could easily sway her into sticking to the original plan, but she would've spent the whole night daydreaming about what could've been with the mysterious girl at the club. you didn't want to deal with that. you were tired of feeling like a second choice.

you wanted her to choose you, because she wanted to choose you. not because you asked her to.

'no, I'm not sure. I don't want you to go with her. I want you to choose me for once. choose me.' you screamed in your own mind, but all that could be seen on the outside was you smiling the best you could at bada, nodding once more before walking back to where the rest of your group sat, downing the drink in front of you.

you didn't know if it was even yours, but it didn't matter to you right now.

minah noticed your sudden change in mood, holding your hand in hers in a silent attempt to comfort you. you squeezed it as means of expressing gratitude, you didn't wanna talk about it.

but, you didn't need to. she knew, and if the downright pitiful looks the rest of the group were throwing your way were anything to go by, it seemed that everyone else knew too.

you wanted to leave, so you left. lusher had no problem going home early with you, she could tell that you weren't in a good headspace. you left with lushers arms around you, half to make sure that you didn't stumble, and half to try to make you feel a little better.

you left with a bitter taste in your mouth, and not from the shitty drinks you were downing.

you left without saying goodbye to bada, which you never did. she waved when she saw you by the door, that big smile still evident even in the dark lighting.

you didn't wave back.

a/n: this wasn't planned, and I wrote it in a day, but I hope you guys like it. also, doing a bada series and and a bada smau at the same time isn't my brightest idea, but fuck it, we ball.

[allaboutnayeli]

hidden fear [m.leon x reader]

prompt: mapi has a secret fear of flights

author notes: this is me trying to force myself to write 🙇🏽‍♀️ im going to do abunch of blurbs/mini fics based off single words. this blurb's word is "fear." can y'all tell i have never been to an airport or Ona plane before? yeah.. anyways hopefully y'all enjoy it 💗

one perk of being a soccer player was the opportunity to travel the world and see so many new places that the average person wouldn't have the time or resources to see. you always enjoyed this fact, not even needing to plan a lot of vacations to destinations outside of spain since you have seen many countries; that doesn't mean you don't take the first opportunity to go somewhere else if offer though.

all players are used to flying once they go pro. even before they join the pro leagues, college teams and youth national teams travel quite a lot too. even if it's not enjoyable the players just have to deal with it. taking flights is a part of the job. some people hate it, others don't really care, and some love it.

however, you have never seen a professional footballer ever be afraid of flying or at least admit it out loud. especially not a player who's been pro for more than six years; isn't it natural to get over it at some point? well you met your first when you started dating mapi.

when you first joined barcelona you weren't the most talkative person. often just carrying on small talk during practice and going home right after. mapi was intrigued by your quietness. the spanish team had it's fair share of introverts, but after a while of being in the team they open up to being pretty loud themselves. why weren't you? soon enough she was trying her hardest to get you out of your shell. inviting you to activities outside of soccer related things like dinner or going to the beach, talking to you in the locker room since you were near her cubby, and pulling you into vibrant conversations with the others. all of her effort weren't in vain as you eventually did open up; becoming quite bubbly and even mirroring some of mapi's own social habits.

all this spending time together outside of soccer made the strong friendship between the spainard and you slowly transform into something else. with your quiet nature, you weren't going to confess your feelings first. even after opening up to mapi more than the others; it just wasn't apart of your personality. so instead she took it upon herself to ask you out one day. after practice pulling you to the side after a long practice filled with mistakes to ask you if you wanted to go to dinner like usual, but instead of as friends, it would be as lovers. obviously you said yes and here you are a year later, stronger than ever.

for that entire year you two have been together so far, mapi has been hiding a secret from you. from everyone.

mapi was afraid of flying. she was good at hiding her nerves everytime the team boarded a plane by saying she was just tired or hungry. all her hiding came to a head one day when barcelona was about to be on their way to a uwcl match against lyon.

"do you think they have pretzels in the airport in france? the pretzel shop here is all out," you pout at your girlfriend as you two sit in the airport. it was around an hour before it was time for the team to board the flight, so just like any seasoned flyer, everyone was getting their snacks and drinks.

mapi laughs seeing your pout. finding it absolutely adorable. she pecks it off your lips, "i don't know. do the french even like pretzels?" she says after pulling away. the kiss does wipe the pout off your face, but doesn't help your little problem.

"i don't know and that's why they're so strange!" you throw your hands up in over exaggerated annoyance. your right hand ends up colliding right with keira who was sitting next to you. she playfully scoffs before pushing your hand down, "let's just focus on the match. not the lack of pretzels. they have baguettes which is essentially the same thing but tall and long."

"that's what she said," mapi giggles. her words earn her a small smack on the back head by alexia who somehow made her way over to you three without any of you noticing her. the short haired woman pouts as she rubs the spot alexia smacked her. "act your age, mapi," the spanish captain says, "anyways i came over here to tell you guys that it's going to be raining outside when we board, so have on some type of jacket or coat."

mapi side eyes alexia which makes the woman almost smack the back of her head again. "and i mean it, maria. you get sick easily, don't even try to act like you don't," alexia chuckles. soon after walking off to go tell the others scattered around the airport.

you pull mapi into a slightly awkwardly positioned hug the moment she starts her childish whining. "she just hit me!" mapi fake whines, holding onto your arm. keira rolls her eyes. focusing all of her attention onto her phone instead of mapi's shenanigans. the spainard drags on the act for a few more minutes before letting out a sigh. there was an obvious drop in her mood once you let her go. your mind races to find a reason why your girlfriend went from being her usually childish self to quiet.

"what is it, babes? don't want to wear a jacket?" you joke. trying to lighten up her mood. she lets out a short laugh but goes back to her unusual behavior. mapi tries to make herself behave like usual, but too many thoughts about the rain were bothering her. what if the rain makes the plane act funny? what if the rain turns into a thunder storm? how would a plane even go through the thunder and lightning? too many thoughts that she was not about to share; what would think of her?

"c'mon, what is it? i'm here to help you if it's anything crazy," you lean in towards her. not sure if she was okay with openly saying her feelings in such a public space. well, no one was truly around. all of the other barcleona players in their own conversations, lazing around, or still getting food. no one would hear anything she says.

mapi purses her lips before sighing. what would be the harm in telling you? you know everything else about her. "i'm scared.." she whispers to you.

"scared of what?"

"of the plane. of flying in general," the spainard pouts when your expression of confusion turns into a light hearted one. you giggle but stop once mapi has that sad look on her face. "why have you never told me? and why haven't i ever noticed?" you question quietly. shrugging before pecking mapi's lips.

"babe, did you think i would laugh? i am but not because i find it stupid. it's okay to be afraid of flying. i'm afraid of the dark and i'm not eight anymore"

mapi lets out a genuine laugh at that. easily slipping into teasing you as she says, "oh? thank you for that info, amor. it will be handy later." you give her shoulder a light slap making her say ow. she rubs the place you hit and pouts at her, "what was that for?"

"if you prank me using the dark, i will hurt you," you playfully threaten. mapi just smiles at that. your hand grabs onto her free one and squeezes, "anyways. mapi, it's okay to be afraid of flying. you should have told me sooner so i could be there for you on flights."

"yeah. lo siento, princesa," she squeezes your hand back. just happy you weren't making fun of her; not that she thought you would, but still her mind isn't always rational with its fears. mapi pecks your cheek before whispering to you, "but don't tell anyone else. i'm not ready for the teasing."

you just nod your head. already knowing how quick the majority of the barcelona players are to jab at and joke at each other.

coach soon tells everyone to get ready to go. mapi now feeling more settled after telling you about her little secret. once on the flight, your girlfriend gets all comfortable in her window seat. holding onto your hand for almost the entire flight unless you had to get up and use the bathroom.

telling you about her little secret wasn't so bad after all.

© thinkingaboutjaedyn

[teaboot]

Your post about art vs content got me thinking about the differences between the two. To me there is no difference besides the mindsets. One is of creator and the enjoyer, the other is content and consumer it removes the personhood, the joy/emotion, from the equation. Like a writer or video creator may not see their work as art so content creator maybe a way to refer to themselves comfortably but it sounds so machine, emotionless and lifeless, like a cookie cutter recipe mass producing something verses people lovingly crafting something...then again Disney uses a cookie cutter recipe for the most part and it brings out bangers cause people lovingly make it their own so maybe I'm thinking too hard on this

Does my long-winded rant make sense?

see, I get what you mean, but I still feel like the willingness to entertain calling art of any kind "content" reduces it to the facet of consumption where in reality, the experience of consuming art is not the sole defining trait of it.

Reducing arts like music, writing, painting, dance, voice acting, theater, etc. to the role of "content"- a thing created to be consumed, measured and valued by how pleasant or easy it is to digest- I feel that it was our biggest red flag to herald the incoming tide of AI "art".

Because if art is "content", if arts are nothing but consumable matter, then obviously the key to success is to produce as much soft, tasty, edible paste as we possibly can at the lowest possible expense.

It's the same issue I have with "meal replacements", diet culture, nutrient slurries, twenty-step skincare routines, 24/7 body padding and shapewear and laxative teas and "grind culture". It's not a cause, but a symptom, of the disease that is late-stage capitalism.

Things must be produced at low cost and remain in high demand forever. Things must be perfect and palatable and the new hit trend forever. People must pay hand over fist to consume without asking anything in return, and if they start dropping like flies at the unending unrewarded thankless demand of it all, then that must be treated as a weakness. We should all take pride in how much we can spend, pay, give, produce, and think as little as possible about what we ask for ourselves.

So, who cares if, of two identical paintings, one was made by a person and one was made by a computer program? It's the same work, so what does it matter? What does it matter?

I am an artist. I make art. I ask a question, make a statement, declare something horrific or challenging or upsetting or wrong or grotesque, and when you respond, we are together experiencing a conversation. We are existing, two people living one life and reaching out and touching across time and space. No matter the work, you're at the barest minimum saying, "I'm alive, and you're alive, and at one time or another we shared this same world, and at the end of the day we aren't too terribly different. My heart is worth sharing, and your heart is worth the struggle of understanding."

An AI-generated piece, a computer-generated voice, a CGI puppet of someone long since dead and gone, they cannot speak. They have no voice. Ay best, they are the most chewable, consumable, landlord-beige common denominator possible that you can sit and listen to like the lone survivor of a shipwreck listening to the same three songs on a broken record, and at worst, they're the uncaring vomit of an empty, unloving, value-addled hack wearing the skin of someone I know over their own.

When you abandon art to say that you make content, that should not be a point of pride. That's an embarrassment. That's not sitting down for an intelligent discussion with an equal, that's kneeling at the feet of the crowd and saying, "what do you want to see me do? I can be anyone you've ever loved. I can be them, I can be anyone, as long as you love me."

I can make content. I can be consumed. What do you want to consume? I'll make myself consumable. I'll make myself just like anything you like. And I'll make so much of it that you'll never have to go anywhere else, because it'll all be right here, and under all the cut-and-paste schlock you've seen before I will sit alone in the dark and the silence and I will know that I am safe, because I am valued, because I am desired, and I need to be desired or else I am worthless like a factory that no longer churns out steel or a hen that no longer lays eggs or a cow that is too old to make milk.

Content, the most literal meaning, is something which is contained inside a container. What it is doesn't really matter, and the best it can hope to be is something worthy of being scooped out and used.

Art is an experience that transcends value. Art is something you can eat without paying for. You can make it out of anything and anyone can do it. It can be crude and vulgar and bad, and that's a strength because it means something. It always, always means something, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not. It's not content because it doesn't fill anything. It's a living, breathing thing, and whether you want to birth it or eat it, then you're going to have to be willing to put the fucking work in

[yenonnoff]

TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE! 21. cat chase

note: continuation will be on chapter 22 (word count: 3.9k)

“are you sure about this?”

the train station had been completely silent. there wasn’t a single soul in sight until two figures stepped into the deserted space.

“do you honestly expect me to spend the next three hours by myself completely bored out of my mind? not happening.”

the sound of shoes against concrete came to a stop and you shifted to face atsumu. “what about the rumor?” atsumu’s shoulders tensed, his expression unreadable. you let another silent minute pass before turning away. “nevermind.” even now, he still didn’t want to tell you about emma.

the two of you continued towards the platform, halting a couple feet away from the yellow line. there really was no one around, it was just you and atsumu. but what did you expect when you were heading to a small town three hours away from tokyo? it was the morning of a weekday, too.

you didn’t notice atsumu inching closer; you didn’t notice the way his gaze was glued to you.

he faked a cough. “i forgot to tell you earlier, but you look nice today.”

you’ve been around him for so long that you’re not shocked by the randomness of the compliment. was it even a compliment? for all you know, it could be a distasteful lie or an attempt to bait you into doing something absurd. he has a knack for dragging people into his antics unfortunately.

“thank you,” you responded, catching the satisfaction in his eyes. he must’ve been waiting for you to return the compliment because he placed an eager hand on his hip, a smirk adorning his features. “what are you doing?”

“waiting for my highly anticipated compliment.”

“so the great actor atsumu miya needs validation too, huh?”

he smiled, “all i heard was ‘great actor.’”

you looked him up and down. he went casual as always but it was frustrating to see how much it suited him. a basic white tee hung loose against his chest and he carried a small backpack. his signature denim cap was nestled on top of his head, strands of blond poking out from the side. “you look…presentable.”

if you weren’t so occupied with his appearance, you would’ve caught the corner of his lip twitching, a faint blush dancing across his cheeks. your gaze was ticklish against his skin.

ducking his head, atsumu rubbed the back of his neck. he was covering a laugh, muttering under his breath, “‘presentable’?”

the train allowed him a couple minutes to recover before gliding up to the station. you saw atsumu tilting his head towards the opening entrance. “you first,” was all he said.

“if you’re letting me go first, that means i’m taking the window seat.”

atsumu winked, “that was the plan.”

“how amicable,” you mused, grinning. for a moment, you had thought he was the type to fight with you over the treasured spot. good thing he wasn’t, it made the trip much more enjoyable for you.

stepping into the train, you immediately looked for your seats. you paused at a row, preparing to scooch inside when atsumu’s palm landed on your elbow. he gently redirected you farther down the aisle, saying something along the lines of, “people don’t usually use that word to describe me.” it was either that or a comment on how silly you were for mistaking your seats. you weren’t sure which one it was. he was making you feel ticklish.

afterwards, you wasted no time getting into your seat by the large window. atsumu slipped into the seat to your right, hanging his backpack on the seat in front of him. he stretched while the announcement declared the destination and safety policies. when the train began to pick up speed, atsumu leaned backwards with a lazy expression. “looks like you’re stuck with me for three hours.”

you repositioned in your seat until you were comfortable. you replied, “then let’s make sure to get along during that time.”

he inclined his head towards you, a mischievous smile dancing on his features. “obviously. but how will i know you won’t take incriminating pictures of me while i sleep?”

“please,” you scoffed. “like i would want pictures of you to fill my camera roll.”

“people kill to take my pictures!”

you felt yourself loosen up. this interaction—chit-chatting about irrelevant things—made you think of your friends. you were reminded of the comforting feeling you felt when you were with them at the cafe. the endless stream of inane conversations, their faces full of sweet mirth. you found it ridiculous how much things have changed. you would’ve never imagined the day when you’d be able to talk so casually with atsumu miya. you had hated him only a couple weeks ago.

“thank you, atsumu, for agreeing to come.” it might’ve came out of nowhere, but you meant it. you don’t remember how long you contemplated your choices last night; you only remember wanting to take him to your hometown. it was the most grueling decision ever: a three hour trip to your favorite place on earth or heading somewhere closer and more practical.

but you were on a mission. the latter option wouldn’t have held a candle to where atsumu had brought you. it was hard to beat a hidden gem, aka a rundown record store (that magically has every album in the world) right next to a beautiful beach.

you just know he’ll be amazed when he sees the place that raised you. it was a small town but notable for being bathed in tranquility. everywhere you look there'll be luscious greenery. random flowering hedges decorated the neighborhood, painting the area in vibrant shades. in the spring there would be colorful peonies; in the fall hydrangeas would take over. if you visited during sakura season, you could go sightseeing. if you were lucky enough, the residents would host a (typically unplanned) local festival for the children to enjoy.

it’s been a while since you last visited. this would be the perfect opportunity for the both of you—the only problem was getting atsumu to agree.

you fidgeted. “i know it’s far away but it’s worth it, i promise.”

atsumu shot you a confused look. “if i didn’t want to come, i would’ve told you last night, silly.” a typical atsumu answer. you should’ve known better than to worry, it was just who he was. atsumu doesn’t do things half-heartedly. if he decides to do something, it’s because he wants to. and he’ll see his decision through to the end.

“good,” you exhaled. “i even messaged you late at night to improve my chances.” he quirked a brow and you explained, “people are more easily persuaded during nighttime.” the truth burned your cheeks. it was even more embarrassing since he was sitting only a couple inches away from you.

atsumu blinked until the realization dawned on him. “when they’re tired, am i right?” he added with a laugh. “you’re scary.”

“that’s a good thing,” you sighed with relief. “if it’s coming from you, it’s a compliment.”

“whatever you say,” he cooed and rested his head against his seat.

for a moment, you don’t say anything. you were no stranger to atsumu and his confusing actions, but recently it’s become intensified. you noticed it during the first day of filming: his gazes were longer and more purposeful, even his way of talking was strange. whether it was to you or about you, there was always a soothing, melodic ring to his voice.

you hadn’t noticed it until jolie pointed it out. actually, it seemed the entire cast of that summer knew except you. jolie, sugawara, and akane exploded when they realized. semi was just there, too busy going through the script to care or engage.

the three would nudge one another with cheeky smiles, and at a certain point, you were sure they were sending secret messages through their indiscernible gazes. their behaviors didn’t bother you though. you didn’t even stop to ponder what caused the change in your co-star. you were just happy they were having fun.

atsumu rested his chin between his index finger and thumb. he said, “i’ll keep your scary technique in mind. maybe i’ll use it on ‘samu.” when silence took over, leaving nothing but the roaring of train tracks, he went on to explain, “‘samu’s my twin brother.”

your eyes widened drastically. this was your first time hearing about this. even if you remember atsumu vaguely from your volleyball manager days, his teammates were blurry faces in your memory. was “‘samu” on the same team as him? now you were curious.

“is he staying in tokyo?”

“yeah, he lives there with his onigiri restaurant by the studio.”

your hands clapped together in excitement. “that’s amazing! i should stop by sometimes. my friends are big foodies.”

“you’re giving me that look,” he grimaced. “now i have to give you the location.”

“you really are amicable,” you smiled. he groaned briefly, saying, “don’t tease.”

“do you get along well with him?”

atsumu’s grumbling was replaced with a noise of amusement. “not at all. we’re not cut from the same fabric or anything like that.”

“cloth,” you corrected.

“same thing! he gets on my nerves.”

you had a feeling he was lying and you wondered how close they actually were; after all, how nice is it that your twin brother’s restaurant is near your studio?

“that’s nice, i don’t have any siblings to fight with,” you daydreamed.

“i assure you, having one isn’t fun.”

“must be hard being identical twins. what’s he like?”

atsumu huffed with tight arms crossed over his chest. “average. the only thing saving him is that he has my face.”

“don’t be rude. he has an onigiri restaurant.”

atsumu took off his denim cap to ruffle his hair. he mumbled, “why are you so interested in him anyway?”

“i’m just curious,” you laughed. this was really getting to him. “i am an only child after all.”

the two of you didn’t continue the conversation after that. atsumu’s head was turned away from you, potentially lost in the music blaring from his earbuds. you opted to look at the passing landscape instead. small grassy hills zoomed by and sometimes you even saw nearby towns in the distance.

you busied yourself with that until you couldn’t anymore. the silence was excruciating. you would fall asleep if only your adenosine receptors were working. it’s only been an hour into the ride and you were bored out of your mind.

truth be told, there was a thought that’s been bothering you ever since the first day of filming. if you were going to say something to quell your discomfort, it might as well be this.

“atsumu, i have a question.” he turned in an instant, plucking out his earbuds to hear you properly. “the staff members—do you get along with them?”

his questioning gaze pierced through you until he dipped his head in contemplation. “i don’t go out of my way to talk to them unless i have to if that’s what you’re asking. why? are you not getting along with them?”

you shook your head. “actually, it’s the other way around. they were… saying stuff about you, atsumu.”

honestly, you hadn’t meant to be there. you were only passing by when you overheard a group of people talking rather loudly. you were already walking away until you heard what the topic of the conversation was about.

it started with simple gossip. some talked about how it’s been over a year since atsumu last worked on a project; others mentioned his past relationship with his ex. then it suddenly became disturbing to listen to them. left and right you heard people asperse your co-star for his overbearing attitude.

cocky, pretentious, surly—you could go on forever. standing there, a part of you agreed with them. atsumu miya was an incredibly irascible and blunt person; he was wickedly cruel, but that didn’t mean he deserved to be berated so casually by those who worked with him. it was one thing to have opinions, but another to be unprofessional about it.

he’s cocky, yes, but that wasn’t all there was to him. how could they sum him up in just one word? it was ridiculous to you.

“and?” atsumu said in a low voice. “screw them, let them say what they want to say.”

“you’re not bothered? the staffs—”

his eyes were narrowed now, and he leaned in to say, “i couldn’t care less about what they say about me. you should know that it’s different in this industry, y/n. people only believe what they want to believe; they only listen to what they want to hear.”

your lips thinned in frustration. you were completely speechless. atsumu tilted away from you slowly, dragging a tensed hand across his face. you barely caught his next words: “but that doesn’t mean i want you to hear them.”

your brows knitted together. “what do you mean?”

“you know exactly what i mean.”

“no, i don’t,” you pressed, leaning slightly over the armrest that separated the two of you.

you watched as he opened his backpack, pulling out a gray jacket. “i’m tired, y/n. wake me up when we get there.” when you opened your mouth to complain, he threw the jacket towards you.

“sleep.” he pointed to the jacket on your lap with a scowl. “use that if you get cold. night.”

you watched as he turned in his seat, getting situated to fall asleep. you stared at him in disbelief, there was no way you were going to sleep now.

“what happened to you?” atsumu chuckled from behind. you ignored him, stepping off the train and onto the ground. you didn’t get a wink of sleep on the ride, and it was equally frustrating how your co-star could tell.

you started walking to the right while eyeing the time on your phone. atsumu caught up quickly, his long strides irking you. “so, where are we heading first?”

you closed your phone and peered up at him. “should we go eat?”

“sure. you’re in charge today after all.”

“then i’ll lead us there. i’ll pay for the meal too.”

his hand shot up instantly. “i’m paying. don’t fight it, y/n, i insist.”

“then you’re paying for the snacks too,” you grinned.

“so this was your plan the whole time…” he said. what could you say? you were an opportunist.

as the two of you continued on, you were flooded with nostalgic memories. your hometown was surrounded by earthy hills and fields of grass that stretched for miles on end. you’d spent most of your childish summers running through those green fields. sometimes you’d get scolded by nearby farmers for your recklessness, then get invited to their wooden engawa where they spoiled you with fresh cut up fruit. (it was a small price to pay.)

speaking of farmers, you waved to a group of them in the fields. they all looked up from their sun hats and said in excitement, “if it isn’t our little y/n!”

atsumu inclined his head to catch your flustered expression, a smile tugging at his lips.

“they all knew me when i was little,” you explained. “they helped watch me when my parents were busy.”

he hummed. “this place is pretty small. i’m not surprised they’re all familiar with one another.”

a soft chuckle. “you’re right about that. you could say the whole town was there to witness my first everything.”

you don’t notice his gaze softening. “you grew up well, y/n.”

when the two of you headed farther into town, you stopped by a local restaurant. everyone greeted you with warm smiles, chanting, “welcome back,” or “it’s y/n!” in excitement. even the owner stepped out to give you a big hug. (poor atsumu felt left out.)

once you actually got to sit down and look at the menu, you realized you never asked for atsumu’s preferences. you just hoped he wasn’t too picky. despite the numerous times you’ve come with your friends, you still take forever to decide on your meal. it seems you’re not alone in this: atsumu shares the same level of indecisiveness as you.

after eating, atsumu paid and you reluctantly left the restaurant. you strolled down the neighborhood with him by your side, passing small family-owned businesses that lined both sides of the streets. growing up in a small town meant that distinguishing between houses and shops was hard. families tended to use the first floor of their home as stores due to convenience. you knew because your family ran a convenience store below your second floor.

when you pointed this out to atsumu, he bursted out laughing. “you really did grow up well. you were living the life that every child wanted, you know that?”

you shrugged. “sure my parents let me eat whatever i wanted from the store, but they took that privilege away after seeing me experiment with the food.” growing up this way was probably the trigger for your fondness towards food.

“like what?” he asked. you counted on your fingers, “vanilla ice cream in ramen, chips dipped in chocolate—make sure it’s sea salt! then—“

“okay, okay. i get the point.” his face twisted in disgust. “are we gonna visit your parents’ shop then?”

your smile froze and you lowered your gaze to the ground, “my parents aren’t—”

suddenly you heard an abrupt shout. the two of you turned around frantically in the direction of the voice. you watched as two kittens skidded by, they ran through the alley in lightning quick steps and you stared with your mouth hung open. atsumu tapped on your shoulder to redirect your attention: a middle-aged woman was running out from a nearby store with a distraught expression.

she ran until she came to a stop right in front of you. resting her hands on her knees, she gasped exhaustedly for air. you and atsumu glanced at one another. when the woman looked up, familiarity struck you.

“aunt april!” your hand came to cover your mouth. it’s been over a year since you last came to visit, and you blamed it on your hectic schedule. filming your last project, vengeance, had turned you into a workaholic zombie.

however, the woman in front of you hasn’t changed one bit. curly gray hair still sat neatly on top of her head—styled just the way you remembered—and she was still wearing the dainty earrings you gifted her years ago.

the store she came running out from was her store.

you saw her eyes widened, excitement and relief swirling in them. “y/n! you’re back, how long has it been?” she glanced to your left, a grin overtaking her features. “let me guess, this is… that kuroo guy, isn’t it? it’s hard to see with his cap in the way,” she mumbled.

you and atsumu shared another glance. april went on, leaning from side to side to capture all his angles. “can’t be the orange haired guy—this one’s too tall. can’t be kenma either, he’s always slouching.”

you moved slowly to place yourself in between her and atsumu; if you didn’t stop her, she would’ve gone on forever. you laughed nervously, “no, auntie, none of my friends are with me today.”

you saw her face tip in disappointment. it was an annual routine for you and the group: visiting your hometown every fall to watch the hydrangeas bloom and have picnics in the fields. everytime you came, they did well to familiarize themselves with all the residents. now they have a hopelessly loving connection to your hometown, and the residents look forward to seeing them visit again every year.

“then…” april sidestepped you to scrutinize atsumu again. you saw him straighten his back, his signature charming smile present. “is he your boyfriend?”

you didn’t get a chance to speak. “you never told me you had one! well you haven’t been in a relationship since sato. did i tell you he came to visit last spring? poor guy was hoping he’d see you again.”

“auntie, wait!” the woman turned at your sudden hastiness. “the kittens—you were chasing them, right?”

“the kittens!” horror washed over her face and she staggered backwards. atsumu reached out to place a steady hand on her shoulder. “they sprinted away when i wasn’t looking. those rascals…”

atsumu tilted his head towards you, whispering, “we wasted a lot of time already, they might not be around anymore.”

you stared at april anxiously, weighing your options. you didn’t know what was going on, but you were confident the kittens were important to her. plus, you haven’t seen her in a year, how could you turn a blind eye to the woman that basically raised you? plus… the kittens could get extremely hurt!

“i’ll help find them,” you said. atsumu’s stare burned through you and you sent him an apologetic glance. april tried to shut you down, forcing a smile on her wrinkly complexion. you reassured her, “please, i want to help.”

“you can’t! you’re on a trip.” insistent hands were placed on both sides of her hips and she furrowed her gray eyebrows. you knew this stance: she wasn't going to be easily convinced.

“auntie, you have a store to manage. you shouldn’t be running in the heat,” you said.

“your uncle is covering for me,” she huffed. you reached out to place both hands on her shoulders, ushering her back to the store. you said hastily, “uncle! that’s right! you have to tell uncle that i’m here—he’ll be so excited to see me again. you know how he gets when he thinks he’s being left out.”

her brows pinched together. “you have a point… alright then, but don’t overdo it, alright?”

you nodded quickly, watching as she headed back inside. though she didn’t leave completely, not until she was able to give you a plastic bag filled with cat treats.

when you were finally alone with atsumu, you stood there with guilt swallowing you. “i’m sorry, atsumu, you don’t have to help. you should wait inside the store, or if that’s too uncomfortable, there’s a bench at the fro—“

his heavy sigh cut you off. “you are so rash, you know that? i said you were in charge today, so if you want to go find some kittens, then obviously i’ll help too. it’ll be quicker with two people anyway.”

“wow,” you clasped your hands together in awe. “you really are amicable.”

“stop saying that,” he groaned. “just go look for the kittens, and listen to your aunt. don’t overdo things.” you were about to complain when he reached for the treats inside the bag. then he pointed down the street and rushed off.

this wasn’t how you thought the trip would go, but desperate times called for desperate measures. you just hoped atsumu wouldn’t get hopelessly lost.

you spent the first fifteen minutes running around, checking behind flower pots and cardboard boxes. you searched through alleyways and even asked nearby residents if they saw two kittens—one orange, one white—dashing around. it wasn’t until later that you saw white fur sticking out from behind a bush.

“there you are.”

it took some coaxing to leer it out but you could tell it was just frightened. you cradled the kitten in your arms. “you look just like snowball,” you smiled. “now then… where could atsumu be…?”

masterlist ⌒☆ previous ⌒☆ next

fun facts:

atsumu took pictures of the restaurant menu and sent it to osamu to annoy him.

y/n's hometown is actually the worst for those who have allergies (so sorry).

TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE! ｡ｏ♡ an atsumu miya smau

synopsis: when y/n l/n, a rising actress, decides to star in a romance film that could make or break her career, she’s unable to showcase her skills, revealing her inexperience within the romance department instead. worst of all, atsumu miya, her co-star and the main lead’s love interest, seems to hate her guts! with absolutely, unbearably zero chemistry between the two, an idea was proposed: spend time with one another in the upcoming weeks. will y/n be able to ignore her professionalism and listen to her heart? and will she, a clueless romantic, be able to pick up on the signs her co-star is sending her?

a/n: shoutout to may bc she kept up with my writer's block and made sure i wrote everyday...

taglist is open! dm or ask to be a part of it! (those bolded were unable to be tagged)

⌒☆ @kqbukimono @empathum @clyver @chosoluv @oceansfloor @sunarots @marga-j @rukia-uchiha-98 @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @rintarousgirl @ast4rg1rl @seiamor @saiewithakatana @usermins @literally-a-ferret @terrarain @iuspired @haruskatana @wolffmaiden @ris-krispie @vellichxrr6782 @animenaces-world @reignsaway @emii4evr @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @yuminako @tojirin @v3nusplanetofluv @vyvixen @secondary-character-25 @tenjikusstuff4 @444choso @mylahrins @deimmortales99 @hisfuture @staywhelmed8801 @dl-yum @nessaasstuff @milesmoralesluvs @101tsumu @ryeyeyer

[wingzie]

The Life of a Jikooker, Online and Offline

Sometime last year I revealed my real first name on Twitter. Though I am known more prominently as “Wingzie”, a name given to me by a good friend of mine, I wanted to add a bit more of a human touch to my account. It was a reminder that, even if I spend a rather large amount of time making posts, I also have a life away from the screen. There's been a few occasions when my army life and personal life have become interlinked.

I am lucky enough to have made wonderful friends since becoming Army. Thus, I will always say that your fandom experience and enjoyment will depend on who you interact with and what you engage with. It's because of these friends that I have been to South Korea or gone to Olle in London for BTS’ tenth anniversary. I've explored new local places or exchanged gifts. It's also because of these friends that I felt safe enough to talk about Jikook in my first ever group chat in 2019. I feel a certain love and connection between us, online and offline, that I don't think many others will understand. 

However, there is a certain loneliness in being a jikooker. I have been unfairly judged or dismissed just for talking about them. Either individually or as a unit. It calls into question why this is. I personally do not see myself as a shipper. The definition of a shipper is that you WANT them to be together and that is not the case with me or many other jikookers at all. The definition of shipping has changed so much that we are seen as bad people just for talking about them, when we are just talking about their moments together.

In the last few months or so I have experienced more of an Army life outside of Twitter. I have been to various offline events and spoken to so many and I couldn’t help but notice two things: 1) Jikookers have a terrible reputation

2) People are scared to talk about them as a unit compared to others. The first part can be somewhat understandable and it’s why I never bother fighting. It brings negative attention to them, when we should be boosting them instead. All they see are people just attacking each other and it is sadly true that a small number of Jikookers are Tae antis. I have left a few group chats because of that or because of ex-jikookers hating on Jimin or Jungkook. However, there are also a huge number of us that DON'T behave this way and it depends on what you focus on.

At a previous event I bumped into a local Tae bias. She clearly knew who I was and was under the impression that I hated Tae. I soon proved her wrong but I guess this is where some of the problems lie: There are a lot of focus on stereotypes, without giving us the chance to prove otherwise. I have also been to events where Army have cited misinformation and they needed to be corrected. I am aware that not everyone has my memory, but they were so callous about their comments that I was shocked. There was a huge disconnect between reality and what they were thinking and it is so important to check sources. Especially when BTS' history and ours is so rich and can be easily accessible in this social media age. 

Being scared to talk about Jikook is something that will always confuse me. I joined a BTS Discord and left shortly afterwards when I realized that they had a channel for every until apart from Jikook. I also went to an event shortly after the “You can handle it” Weverse Live and the group I was with mentioned every single part of that Live, apart from when Jimin was in the comments. They also said some things about Jungkook that made me feel really uncomfortable and they ignored what I was trying to say. They saw him as a puppet, for their own desires, rather than his own person. And I think that is also something I have seen on the increase lately. It should be allowed and in fact encouraged to talk about them as a unit without being shamed for mentioning them together. Ignoring them doesn't help either.

I am Jimin and Jungkook biased, but the definition of having a bias itself has also changed. You cannot say you have a bias now without automatically saying “but I love all of them”, when that should go without saying. I have seen this change since Mots:7 and it emphasises how much the fandom definitions have changed and how it has also shaped our communities. I have been to other events where I am sadly seen as an anti, once they find out my Twitter ID. My account includes all members, I just happen to post about Jikook and their moments most of all and there is nothing wrong with that. Ultimately, I wrote this without any clear message or goal in sight. I just wanted to express what I have experienced and my feelings about it. I will always cherish the memories I have with those that are closest to me and our beautiful conversations about BTS or Jikook. I just wish others did the same and understood what this community is actually about, online and offiline. My account will always be a safe place for all the members and I refuse to be villainized for talking about Jikook at the same time.  Much Love Wingzie/Becca

[sunflowersandsapphires]

I saw something in the fandom that made me upset and I need to rant about it. It’ll be below the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

I cropped the name off of this post because I am not trying to start drama, but I found this under the “Matt Murdock x Reader” tag and found it INCREDIBLY disheartening to go through to comments/reblogs and see how many people agreed.

I am in no way trying to dispute the fact that fandom spaces and self-insert fanfiction is heavily white washed/influenced by white writers. As a white woman myself, I catch many little slip ups in my own work that make my writing less accessible than I want it to be. I understand being frustrated that there aren’t many stories where you feel your appearance has been considered.

However: fanfiction, fanart, gif making and coloring, edits, and other forms of fan-made-content are usually completely free to access. No one is entitled to them—they are a privilege, not a right. Which means that people are allowed to write whatever characters they want, even if it’s not completely unique or what you want to read.

My issue is with OP’s critiques of weak/feminine/sweet/innocent readers and the way they voiced their opinion (again, not disputing the appearance stuff). I know that many readers are sweet or innocent, but as someone who is rarely given the space to be the “damsel in distress” so to speak, I enjoy writing characters who are taken care of and protected. Regardless of my or any other writer’s reasoning for writing the characters this way, we are allowed to do that. It’s our fucking work.

If you don’t like something, no one is forcing you to read it. If you notice a lack of fics that appeal to you, write some yourself. It is inconsiderate to chastise people spending hours of their free time to give you content that you can enjoy just because it’s not exactly what you want to see.

Also, don’t threaten to block me if you don’t like how I write. Just block me. It is your responsibility to curate an enjoyable experience on this app, not everyone else’s.

In summary: I am not trying to say that fandom is perfect or inclusive or that critiques of my writing aren’t welcome. This person can have whatever opinions they like and are welcome to post them on their blog. I would just like to point out that the delivery could’ve been more polite and that authors don’t need to change the plots/characters’ personalities they write just because others aren’t happy with the outcome.

[sherrendipities]

some things i've learned abt myself since i gave Daddy control of my orgasms 💕

#1: the tiniest things make me feel subby n horny

when i started this, i definitely expected that my fantasies would get more raunchy and perverted the longer the denial went on. and while i have developed some new kinks (thanks to Daddy being so hot n perfect n addictive n sooo fun to please 🥺🥺🥺), the bigger surprise was how easily i get turned on. counterintuitively, some of my fantasies have gotten more innocent and yet they get me unfathomably horny lol. i genuinely could make a series about it. just small little things that make me melt and get me stupidly wet.

at its core, it's because denial makes me feel more submissive. trust me there's nothing i love more than the thought of submitting to him in bed and him fucking my brains out, lord knows i can neeever get enough of it 🥴 but that desire just bleeds into everything, all the time. when i don't get to cum, that feeling of needing to be beneath him never shuts off. it's not exactly that i feel horny 24/7, but i feel submissive 24/7. the desire to please him, to worship him, to be good for him, is so constant.

or maybe it's just that Daddy brings out my submissive side even more n submitting to him is just right and natural hehe 🩷 either way, it's so so so fun n addictive !! i want him to feel the power n control he has over me all the time.

#2: edging is always about pleasing him <3

edging is soooo addictive, it's a problem lol. it's definitely made touching myself infinitely more fun, bc i used to just have one or two orgasms and then settle down and that's it. but edging can go on and on and on and aaaaaa i never wanna stop!!!! usually i'm forced to when my vibrator dies on me lol. does it drive me insane n make me wanna cry every time i have to pull away to stop myself from going over the edge? yes but that's part of the fun 🤭

that said, no matter how much i love it, the most fun (and important!) thing is remembering that i'm doing it for Daddy's pleasure. and i've found that the best way of doing that, and the best way to make sure Daddy gets the most enjoyment out of my edging, is to make something for him while doing it! i adooore recording myself edging for him, or writing something smutty for him to read (yes, including this post~).

definitely nothing compares to sexting him while i edge, bc his words will always have a bigger effect on me than any porn or erotica in the world ever could because it's 💖 him 💖 hehe. but !! if ever we can't talk directly while i edge, making something for him to enjoy is such a lovely way to feel closer to him. it makes me feel like he's right there, stroking his cock to my words and my voice, and it just makes me louder and needier and closer.

there's just so much to enjoy about it! it makes the edging so much more effective at turning me into a needy, slutty mess for Daddy to play with whenever his heart desires. it reminds me that my body belongs to him, and that i'm being given permission to cum so he can enjoy it, so i better make sure he enjoys it.

#3: no touch is indescribably fun

there are days that are noticeably much more intense. like... beyond overwhelming, my whole body is tingling, horniness at a 12 out of 10. i don't really know why. maybe it's hormones. maybe it's just that some days i get to spend more time with Daddy and i feel closer to him and it drives me crazy. but what i do know is that i really love not touching myself on those days.

it's partly bc i would definitely lose my edge if i did lol. but for the most part, it's because it feels so good to just sit in that feeling. when my body craves him so badly that just the thought of him sends waves of pleasure throughout my body. even without touching myself at all, just reading his words makes me whine and moan and shake.

i've honestly never even asked to touch myself on days like that. they don't happen too often, and when they have, i was so overwhelmed by it that i just needed to process it. i didn't know i could feel that way from just talking to someone. over text, too!! it's mindblowing. and i've said as much to him, "how do you do this to me?"

on a slightly funny note, on days like that, i genuinely can't bring myself to do the whole ooo sexy dirty talk thing. i just feel so overwhelmed by it, both the emotional connection i feel to him as well as the physical sensations, that i immediately default to therapy-mode and start just... describing it. which i think he definitely enjoyed regardless. but i was doing a body scan mid sexting lol, no joke. it's kinda meditative, literally! just sitting there and feeling it, every bit of it. really letting his every word wash over me and noticing how it makes my heart feel so light, my head feel so wonderfully fuzzy, my cunt so so wet. those are some of the moments when i've felt closest to him and ugh, it's so wonderful <3

it's honestly a very big part of why i want to keep going with the denial. i genuinely didn't know it was possible to feel this way. it's all mental, and yet the physical effect it has on me is so real. i want to see how much further it can go, because i know it can go so much further. the closer Daddy and i get, the more i understand how my mind and body react to his dominance, the more intense it'll get.

i don't know what would be more fun... begging to touch myself on one these days and being told no? or explicitly being ordered to touch myself and record myself trying desperately not to go over the edge? either way, i can't wait for the many more wonderful experiences i'll have with Daddy 🩷

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 49

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————-

Monday, February 8th; 11:45 AM - In class.

Returning to reality is hard. I'm bored to death with these classes. If Lucy saw me, she'd probably lecture me for slouching over my desk trying to follow this pointless lesson. I wish we could have extended our weekend. It was so much more enjoyable, even with the little incident Feli caused on Saturday night. I keep thinking about it. Lucy was so sweet to me from beginning to end. I was so worried, but now I regret that the weekend was too short. Plus, seeing my brother again was such a joy. It broke my heart when it was time to leave. He didn’t want to let us go, and he even cried. I felt sorry for Hector, who had to stay with him. Luckily, the holidays are coming soon. We have just one more week. I’m eagerly looking forward to it, so much so that I feel like these next few days are going to drag on. It’s well known that excitement tends to slow down time. If all goes well, I'll spend those two weeks with Lucy. The first week is certain, since we'll be going to the Alps with her friends. She told me she'd handle the planning with Ingrid during the day.

- "You seem lost in thought," Alessia murmurs. "Is everything okay?"

- "Yeah," I say, sitting up and giving her a shy smile.

I’ve never felt so good. Of course, I still have problems, but the biggest ones are now resolved. My smile fades for a moment as I recall the events of last week. With everything that happened, I haven't had the chance to speak to my friends since the cafeteria incident. I did check in with Alexia via text, but that was it. I got bombarded with questions this morning. If I had at least had one meal with them, I could have avoided this situation. But I don’t regret eating with Lucy. I was still too shaken to be around other students. Coming back to school this morning reminded me why I wasn't ready for that. The students made me the center of attention. I hated it. My friends told me that a bunch of rumors had spread after the fight. The first was about Korbin getting expelled, but for me, it was a different story. The students thought I was in the hospital, considering the beating I took. The scene in the cafeteria must have been something for them to think that. After hearing all this, I’m not surprised everyone is staring at me. Sure, I still have a few marks, but everything’s healing pretty well, thanks to Lucy’s weekly care.

- "I wanted to apologize," I said.

- "For what?"

- "For being radio silent until today. I shouldn't have worried you. To be honest, I didn't expect you to be so concerned."

- "You're our friend; it's normal to worry."

- "Yeah, but you know, except for Mapi, I was never close to many people. But now that I have you guys, it’s… I don’t know. I’m glad to have you."

- "We’re glad to have you too," she smiles. "Just don’t leave us without news next time. We saw you Thursday morning, so we knew you were okay, but we still wondered why you were absent the next day."

- "I promise, next time I'll let you know."

I return her smile. I've grown closer to them, so I can’t shy away now. I’m relieved when the bell rings right after our conversation. I hope the rest of the week doesn’t pass as slowly as this half-day. I’ll die of boredom otherwise. My only motivation is that I’ll see Lucy every evening since we’ll be sharing her room again this week. She told me she’d be busy these next five days, so I’ll have to make do with our evening classes and nights together. I hope I can manage. She’s been my support these past few days, and I already feel lost without her by my side. In the meantime, I content myself with my friends. Specifically, Alessia. She’s telling me all about what I missed last week, and her stories are pretty funny. I stop laughing, though, when we run into Lucy walking in the opposite direction just as we’re about to leave the building. I step aside to avoid getting in anyone’s way.

- "Hey," I say with a smile, happy to see her.

My smile fades when I realize she’s not looking at me. Her attention is focused on Alessia beside me, and she’s giving her a dirty look before finally turning to me.

- "Hi," she finally responds. "You know we already saw each other this morning, right?" she jokes.

- "Uh, yeah," I say awkwardly, making her smile.

- "I don’t have much time to chat, but we’ll meet after class. I’ll be done with what I have to do by then, so we can work on your assignments."

- "Really? I don’t want to waste your time. If you’re too busy, Alessia can help me."

- "No. I insisted on helping you with your studies, so I’m not going to abandon you," she replies.

I suppress my smile at the tone of her voice. Oh, so she has an issue with Alessia... I didn’t see that coming.

- "Alright. I’ll be there," I simply reply.

- "You better be. You can’t back out now."

- "I wasn’t planning to," I tease.

- "Good," she smiles. "See you later in the classroom."

- "Aren’t you going to eat?"

- "I just finished. I wanted to avoid the crowd and save time."

- "Oh," I say, struggling to hide my disappointment.

She smiles at me, as if she understands how I feel. I wish she could have been there with me. Just seeing her in front of me would have given me courage. She ruffles my hair affectionately before slowly walking away.

- "See you in a few hours," I whisper.

- "See you in a few hours," she repeats.

I sigh as I watch her walk away. I wish I could follow her. I turn back to Alessia, who raises an eyebrow with a small smile.

- "Study session, huh? I guess things are better between you two if you're willing to ditch me."

- "Oh... Uh, yeah. I should’ve told you," I grimace as we head outside to join the others.

They were waiting for us at the exit. We follow them to the cafeteria as they start walking when they see us.

- "I’m really sorry, but because of my terrible grades, Bronze wanted to take charge again."

- "So, things are better between you?"

- "I... Yeah, you could say that."

- "You could say that?" she giggles. "You seemed pretty happy to see her just now," she smiles.

- "You’re exaggerating... It’s just that I didn’t expect to see her. She told me she’d be very busy today."

- "Who, besides you, tries to run into their supervisor?" she teases.

- "Alright... You’re right. Probably no one," I giggle. "I can’t help it if I enjoy spending time with her. She... I don’t know. I need her, that’s all. With what happened last week, she once again proved that to me."

- "Uh-huh..." she smiles.

- "What?"

- "Nothing," she says with a smirk.

- "Oh, come on. I know you well enough by now to know you’re thinking something."

- "No, I’m not saying anything," she says, raising her hands. "You might take it the wrong way again, and I don’t want to risk it."

- "Of course not," I protest.

- "I’m sure you would," she laughs. "Please drop it. I really don’t want you to get upset again."

- "Fine," I sigh.

I don’t insist, knowing that if she doesn’t want to talk about it, she must have a good reason. I don’t want to create any tension between us when we’ve been getting along so well these past few days. I step into the cafeteria hall as she holds the door for me. I barely take a few steps before Alexia half-jumps on me, putting her arm around my shoulders. I wince, holding back a cry of pain to avoid worrying her. Though my injuries are healing, they are far from fully recovered.

- "Classes are so depressing," she groans. "I’m so glad we’re on break!"

- "I totally agree."

- "You guys can’t complain. We only have one week left," Alessia comments.

- "Yeah, Especially the first week. Oh my God, I can’t wait!"

- "I can’t agree more," I say with a knowing smile.

- "What do you mean...?" Ale asks, slowing down. "Wait, don’t tell me—"

She stops completely, making me chuckle. I hadn’t told her the good news yet. This vacation is going to be amazing. I’ll be surrounded by all the people I’m closest to: Lucy, Mapi, and Alexia. Gradually, a smile spreads across Alexia’s face as if she’s just figured it out.

- "No, but wait... Really?"

I shrug, smiling even more. I reply with a wink before continuing with Alessia toward the buffet, who no longer tries to understand our half-spoken conversation. Thankfully. She’s a good analyst, and I don’t want her starting to ask questions.

- "Ona Batlle! What don’t I know about!?"

- "Oh, a lot of things," I giggle. "Let’s talk about it tonight, okay?"

"You have no idea how much I hate you right now for leaving me in suspense!"

I laugh, not saying anything more. I get the feeling Alessia is already asking herself questions, so I don’t want to add fuel to the fire by feeding her curiosity. We finally change the subject as we return to our table.

Monday, February 8; 5:45 PM - Lucy and Ingrid’s Office.

For the fifth time, I try to slide my hand onto Lucy’s thigh, but she stops me again, this time with a grumble. I pout as she furrows her brows once more.

- "You need to stop that."

- "I need to touch you," I groan.

She smiles softly, tilting her head. Coming from me, that might be confusing. I’ve never felt such a primal need before. Lucy has always been the one to offer me affection, and it’s frustrating that she’s denying it now.

- "Since when, huh?"

I shrug, blushing slightly. I missed her today. It was the first day we’ve been apart in four days.

- "Just wait a few more minutes until the building empties. In the meantime, focus. You’re far from done with your exercise."

I slump, resting my head on my hand and letting out a long groan. I’m getting tired of these management exercises. It’s been nearly an hour, and I’m almost back to square one.

- "Um, hello."

I lift my head to see a new presence in the room. Ingrid isn’t here tonight, so I wanted to take the opportunity to get Lucy’s attention, but now I understand why she didn’t want that. We could still be caught at any moment, like now. I squint as I recognize my management teacher, Mr. Tompson.

- "Hello, Mr. Tompson. How can I help you?" Lucy takes the initiative to ask.

- "I didn’t expect you to have company, actually."

- "Oh, Ona isn’t a problem. I help her with her homework every evening, so I doubt there will be other times to discuss privately. I’ll make sure she stays quiet if it’s an important matter."

- "Actually, it concerns her class."

He glances at me with a gentle smile. I don’t return his smile at all. He caught my attention as soon as he arrived. Lucy sort of confirmed for me that he’s interested in her. That makes me even more eager to defend my territory, but of course, I can’t. As if Lucy sensed that I was seething beside her, she gently squeezes my knee.

- "Well?"

I loosen my grip on my pen and look back down at my paper. Maybe my inattention will encourage my teacher to talk, and that’s exactly what happens. He must have realized that I wasn’t going to leave. There’s no way I’m letting him be alone with Lucy.

- "I was thinking of organizing an outing for their class. It would involve seeing how a company operates. I’m just waiting for responses from the companies I’ve selected."

- "Okay…" Lucy responds uncertainly. "And how does that involve me?"

- "I’m looking for chaperones… Three, to be exact."

- "I see."

- "I was hoping you’d be willing to do it," he adds hesitantly after Lucy’s response.

- "Well, why not, but it’s not my decision to make. You’d better discuss this with the principal."

- "Oh yes, of course! That was my intention," he says quickly. "I just wanted to know if you were agreeable before approaching her."

- "Do you already have the other chaperones?"

- "Another teacher who helped organize the outing will be there. I’m still missing the third person."

- "I can ask Engen. I suppose she’d be interested in coming with us. Of course, it will need Wiegman’s approval first."

- "That’s a good idea. I’ll handle that. Anyway, it’s not happening for a few weeks."

- "Alright, then we’ll discuss it again when the time comes."

- "Bronze…?" I murmur. "I’m stuck here."

A smile spreads across her lips as she presses her hand on my knee a little more. She seems to understand my plea for attention.

- "Excuse me, did I interrupt you?" my teacher asks.

- "No problem," Lucy replies.

- "Well then… I’ll leave you to it. Have a good evening."

- "Thank you, you too."

I watch him leave the room with a nasty look. Fortunately for me, he didn’t notice as he had his back turned. He closes the door halfway at Lucy’s request. I sigh with relief at his departure. He was making the atmosphere heavy. Lucy smiles at me almost mockingly.

- "What?"

- "Oh, nothing."

- "Hmm…"

- "So, what’s your problem?"

- "Oh, I didn’t have one. I just wanted him to leave."

She smiles again and goes back to her work. I groan, resting my head on my palm again.

- "Still, I hadn’t realized how insufferable that guy is."

Lucy lets out a laugh she’s probably been holding in for a while, given its intensity.

- "Hey, don’t make fun of me! It’s the truth."

- "I thought you liked him?"

- "Yeah, well, I’ve changed my mind. I like him less now that I know he’s hovering around you."

- "He’s not hovering around me," she rolls her eyes.

- "He likes you and ogles you; it’s all the same to me. Plus, I would’ve preferred to avoid confronting him today, given how much I missed you," I tease her.

She smiles in amusement and surprises me by leaning in to kiss me. I close my eyes, fully enjoying this contact, which I realize has become a necessity for me right now. However, it doesn’t last. I open my eyes to beg for more, which prompts her to respond verbally.

- "I hope you fully enjoyed that little taste to satisfy your needs because that’s going to be my only affectionate gesture in this office tonight. Now get back to work. I want that exercise finished before dinner."

A plaintive whine escapes me. I should’ve expected it, but it’s so frustrating. Knowing that she really means it, I abandon the idea of getting more and change the subject.

- "I can’t do it," I replied.

I’m not sure if I’m talking about the exercise or the affection she’s withholding. She seems to assume it’s the former, judging by her response.

- "I’ve explained it to you three different ways. You can’t tell me you can’t do it. This is clearly a lack of effort on your part, and if you think I’m going to do the exercise for you, you’ve got another thing coming."

I sigh, knowing full well that she’s right about this. In truth, I already understood it the second time she explained it, but I just don’t have the motivation to do it. I still pout, not entirely happy with her attitude. However, I don’t complain to avoid getting scolded for real. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Lucy won’t act any differently than a supervisor during work hours. With little enthusiasm, I finally dive into my exercise.

Monday, February 8; 8:15 PM - Ona and Alexia’s Room.

- "No way, this can’t be true…" says Alexia, completely shocked. "Why do you always hide so much from me! So, you and Bronze…"

She doesn’t finish her sentence, as if she still can’t believe it enough to say it out loud. I giggle and nod. I just told her we’re a couple. I thought she would’ve guessed when I said everything was settled, but it seems she hadn’t thought that far. She falls back onto the bed across from me. It looks like she’s going to need some time to process this.

- "But like, really?"

- "Yes, Ale," I laugh. "We’re together."

- "B-but, but… How?! We’re talking about Bronze here!"

- "Call her Lucy with me, please," I roll my eyes with a little amused smile.

- "Oh no, no, no. I definitely can’t do that. We’re talking about Bronze!"

I laugh heartily before we look each other in the eye. I wait for her to digest the news. She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it again. She seems to be thinking about what to say before finally speaking.

- "How? I mean, Bronze hates me because I broke the rules by dating Jenni, and she got fired because of me. So how did you get her to break the same rule herself? It’s so unexpected. I mean, of course, I encouraged you, and I hated her for hurting you so much, but… I don’t know. I just never expected her to offer you an intimate relationship, seriously!"

- "Stop it, Lucy doesn’t hate you."

- "Oh yes, yes, yes! She hates me! She made that clear from the start! She’s only become nicer to me since you two started hooking up! And that’s only because we’re friends! Did you say something to her? Oh my God, you must have said something! Otherwise, she wouldn’t be acting so nice to me!"

I chuckle in amusement. The way she’s getting worked up is hilarious. Now she’s standing up, panicking, saying things I can’t even understand anymore because I’m laughing so much.

- "Ale, calm down. I didn’t say anything to her. If she’s doing it for me, I don’t know about it. I can find out If you want.

- Definitely not! Besides… why are you here with me? Don’t you want to go find her?

- Well, you see, I have a friend who pressured me a little to stop by here before heading back to my room. I should hate you for delaying the moment I’ve been waiting for all day, but you’re lucky I like you, I teased.

- Aww, you’re too cute! But go on. I don’t want to keep you. I’ll just try to process this news now that I know.

- No, I think I’ll stay here for a bit. Actually, I need to make Lucy wait. She left me frustrated while I was doing my homework.

Alexia sits back down on her bed, nodding.

- It’s understandable that she’d want to keep things discreet. Her best friend lost her job because of me for the same reason. I doubt she wants to get fired for it too.

- I know… I sighed. I don’t blame her; I get it. Honestly, I just didn’t expect to want to be so touchy-feely with her. I mean, just last week, I could barely stand being touched. Now I’m practically begging her to touch me, even if it’s just once.

- I’ve been saying from the start that you were hooked on her, she teased. But still, I can’t get over it. You two, together? I mean, especially Bronze in a relationship—it’s unimaginable.

- Oh, stop. It’s just because she only shows you the mask she wants you to see. She’s really sweet deep down. I even think she’s hiding her true self, I said with a roll of my eyes.

- What do you mean by that?

- I’m not saying anything. You might never see her the same way again, and I doubt Lucy would appreciate it, I replied with a small, sly smile. I think she likes to keep you on your toes, I chuckled.

- Yeah, well, it’s really not funny, she pouted.

- You know, I can always talk to her if this bothers you that much.

- No, absolutely not! I want to prove to her that I’m a good match for Jenni. I feel like she still doesn’t think so.

- If she doesn’t yet, she will. And I promise I won’t do anything to make that happen.

We exchanged a knowing smile just as there was a knock on the door. A rather timid Lucy entered our room. I raised an eyebrow, not expecting her to show up. I’d seen her after dinner and told her I wouldn’t come by right away.

- Hey, I said. What brings you here?

- I was wondering what was taking you so long.

I raised an eyebrow, noticing it was only twenty past eight. I usually didn’t head back to my room until nine when I stopped by here first.

- Hmm… We were just talking, but I can come back with you if that’s what you want.

- Oh no, it’s just that… she started before cutting herself off. Never mind.

Lucy shifted her gaze from me to my roommate. She raised an eyebrow, making me look at Alexia in turn. Alexia’s cheeks were clearly flushed with embarrassment, probably from staring at her. Lucy sighed, running a hand through her hair.

- She knows, I guess?

- Of course. Don’t think I was going to keep it from her.

- I didn’t say anything, she smiled softly. Well… are you done, or should I leave without you?

- I think we’re done…

- Yeah, sure, Alexia confirmed.

- So, see you tomorrow morning? I asked.

- Yeah, she smiled, getting up to hug me. See you tomorrow morning.

- Good night, I said, before joining Lucy, who had been waiting by the door since the beginning.

Lucy wished her a good night as well before letting me go ahead to leave. We walked through the buildings, taking her shortcut to make the trip quicker.

- You thought I wasn’t coming back? I teased. I usually get back to your room later than this.

- No. Let’s just say I didn’t expect you to take so long. You told me you’d only be fifteen minutes.

- Hmm… And what would have happened if I’d stayed longer, huh?

- It would have meant that I couldn’t enjoy you the way I wanted, she murmured as she opened her bedroom door.

- Well, I started, immediately searching for my things in my suitcase. You didn’t want me to enjoy you in your office either, I replied in a slightly reproachful tone.

- You’re not really mad about that, are you? she teased.

- You don’t know me very well if you think otherwise, I replied with a wink.

She tried to steal a kiss as we moved, but I ignored her and slammed the bathroom door in her face. I heard her groan behind it, which made me stifle a laugh. I expected her to give up—at least, that’s what I would’ve done in her place—but instead, she came into the bathroom just as I was taking off my shirt.

- Luce, get out of here.

- No, she said, blocking me against the sink.

- What’s gotten into you? I sighed, slightly unsettled by her sudden change in behavior.

- You should know that I don't reject you in my office for fun, she replied. I told you that I'd remain your supervisor at school and your girlfriend in private. I thought you understood that. Let's not start taking jabs at each other over this.

Her response made me realize she took my words seriously. Sure, I was a little upset with her for making me wait with just one kiss, but I was mostly joking.

- Sorry, I... It’s just that... Today was hard. I really missed you. I didn’t expect it to be this much. Plus, it was tough dealing with all those rumors and students without you by my side.

Lucy sighed as she pulled me into her arms. I relaxed into her embrace, enjoying the long-awaited hug. She kissed my forehead.

- It was only the first day... You'll have to hold on for three more months because I’m not planning to change my stance on professionalism. Don’t forget that I’m working here.

- I know, I mumbled.

- We’ll have all the time in the world to be together in the evenings, OK?

- Yeah, and after the holidays, huh? I won’t be here in the evenings, remember?

- Well, we’ll have the weekends, she arched an eyebrow. You're not going to get all depressed on me, are you? I didn’t think you were this needy for affection, she teased.

- Well, you’re the one who made me like this.

She laughed and stole a quick kiss from me.

- Now, go take a quick shower and come join me. You’re not the only one who’s been waiting for this moment all day. I just hide it better than you.

I smiled as I watched her leave. She really does hide it better than I do because I hadn’t noticed. I hurried to wash up and get ready for bed before joining her. She was already waiting in bed with the next Harry Potter movie queued up on her laptop. I quickly joined her, snuggling into her arms. She held me tight and kissed me passionately, showing me just how much she had missed me too.

- So, how was your day otherwise? she asked as she started the movie.

- Long and boring, I sighed. It’s really unbearable. I’m just glad Alessia and the others were there to distract me.

- Alessia, huh?

- What? I asked, smiling slightly, already knowing where this conversation was going.

- You two have gotten close pretty quickly. Is she still into you?

I smiled mischievously. I vaguely mentioned this to her because of what happened on New Year’s Eve. I seriously need to stop talking to her about these things.

- I don’t think so. At least, she knows I’m interested in someone else.

- Really?

- Yeah… But she’s starting to have questions about us, so if you ask me, you might want to save those looks for someone else next time.

I bit my lip and looked up. The scene from this morning was unforgettable. I saw her give Alessia a disapproving look, and I doubt it was accidental. I caught her rolling her eyes before she turned them back to me.

- Why? She’s asking questions?

- I think she suspects that you’re the one I’m interested in. So yeah, I guess she’s asking questions. This morning, she didn’t want to continue a conversation about it, fearing I’d get upset…

- I see, she murmured. I’ll try to control myself. You try to do the same with your management professor, she teased.

- At least I didn’t stare him down!

- Maybe not, but you weren’t exactly pleasant either, she giggled.

- That’s not true.

- Yes, it is, she laughed. It was cute.

I blushed, sinking deeper into her. I turned my attention to the movie that had been playing. Lucy kissed my head, making me smile. It’s funny how easily we express our feelings now when we hid them for weeks before.

- So… I can’t talk to Alessia about us, right? I broke the silence, making Lucy sigh.

- Why do you ask? Do you want to tell her?

- No, but I’m afraid she’ll find out…

- If you ask me, from what you’ve told me, she already suspects. It’s up to us to prove her wrong, which is why we need to stay professional here, especially during work hours.

- You’re right, I murmured.

- I’d love for you to be able to talk to her, but the fewer people who know, the less chance we have of compromising my end of the year. I’d rather we don’t talk about it, no matter how much you trust Alessia or anyone else.

I nodded. It’s definitely too risky. It might be our last year, but I’m not going to risk anything happening in the short time we have left here.

- I won’t say anything.

- So… Do you really like her since you’ve gotten close to her?

I swallowed a smile. She’s really cute when she’s playing jealous.

- She was a good support while you were away… I misjudged her, to be honest.

- You know, if you asked me a question like that, I would have reassured you…

I frowned, worried that I might be misunderstanding the tone of her voice. I looked up to see her smiling softly at me.

- Yes, I’m jealous of her, baby. Unlike me, you could have been open with her in front of your friends.

- I was open with you in Barcelona and even in front of my mom. That was the first time that ever happened. Well, I did it with Mapi in front of our friends, but definitely not as quickly.

- Really…? she murmured.

- Yes.

I propped myself up on my elbows to get a better look at her. She suddenly seemed deep in thought. Her hand gently caressed my back.

- What’s on your mind? I whispered.

- I don’t want to rush you into things too quickly. You know that, right?

- Of course. I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. Honestly… I expected this weekend to be a disaster because of my fears, but I ended up loving it… You made me feel comfortable, as you always do. Everything feels so natural between us, and that’s exactly what I need.

She smiled softly before kissing me.

- I’m glad to hear you say that. Don’t hesitate to tell me if anything bothers you, okay?

- Nothing bothers me… But I’ll tell you if something does, I promise. Can we finally watch the movie now?

- Of course, she giggled. Sorry. Come here.

She lifted her arm, and I didn’t hesitate to snuggle as close to her as possible. I love when she holds me in her arms. I used to be afraid of starting a new relationship because I didn’t like physical contact anymore, but now I crave the opposite with Lucy. I buried my head in her neck, thinking about this. I can’t imagine being without her anymore. We’ll need to balance our time during the day and our private moments. I have no doubt she’ll help me with that, even though it will be challenging for both of us, from what I can tell. Lucy is clearly better at hiding it than I am. I hope I can do the same in the coming days, and then the holidays will finally be ours.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Clavis’ 4th Birthday Story (His POV)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Since meeting Emma, birthdays have become more special.

Year after year, it was a momentous occasion where I celebrated my birth as my fiancee poured her heart and soul into expressing her love for me. And not to be outdone, I too strive to make each year more enjoyable than the last—

Clavis: So you’re saying that you’re not giving your cute little brother a vacation on his birthday?

Chevalier: …

However, this year, before my birthday, my detestable older brother threw a wrench in my plans.

Clavis: Let me kill you just this once.

Chevalier: You’re welcome to draw your sword, but you’ll fail.

Clavis: Why. You’ve never harassed me like this before.

Chevalier: It’s official business.

Clavis: You can do it yourself.

Chevalier: The ambassador who caused issues is a friend of yours, is he not?

Clavis: It’s not the first time you’ve met them.

Chevalier: I made them cry.

Clavis: …

Chevalier: Give up.

(What’s the catch?)

Recently we received a report that a staff member of the embassy for a certain country was using their diplomatic immunity to commit crimes.

Although they needed to be dealt with, it wasn’t a dire situation and was something that Chevalier could handle alone.

(...Was it a miracle that I didn’t have any official duties on my birthday every year?)

(In any case, it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting a vacation)

With an impudent attitude as if to say our conversation was done, Chevalier returned his attention back to his paperwork.

(...Not only will Emma not be able to celebrate my birthday, she won’t even be able to spend time with me…)

(This sucks)

--

However, when I arrived at one of the royal villas on my birthday, my heart did a flip.

Emma: We have been expecting you, King Chevalier and King Clavis.

(Why are you here?)

She wore a tidy maid’s uniform and the skirt was long enough to cover her ankles, a wig that gave her a different hairstyle, and a pair of glasses.

Her voice was different too, but each move she made screamed Emma.

(This…is supposed to be a disguise)

(A surprise present?)

(I did tell her where I was going, but I didn’t expect this)

For a moment, I forgot that I was here on official business and smiled.

However, I couldn’t defy Emma’s expectations so I chose my next words carefully to not sound unnatural.

Clavis: Oh, a maid. I thought I’d have to take care of Chevalier here.

Villa caretaker: I hired a maid this year. Please understand that I’m getting too old to take care of this place myself.

(Perhaps the madam is an accomplice)

(I thought I wouldn’t be able to see her on my birthday this year…)

(You never disappoint me, Emma)

Acting as a new maid, Emma seemed ready to accompany us on our official business.

Naturally, as the original trap master, I couldn’t just stand by.

If she had a huge surprise waiting for me, then I’d need to return it with a suitable trap to not ruin my reputation.

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

Emma: …The path over there is shorter, allow me to show you the way.

Clavis: Hmm…

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

Emma: There appears to be something wrong with the carriage, so allow me to inspect it right away. If you can give me a few minutes…

Clavis: Oh?

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

Emma: There may be a bomb planted in there, so please allow me to deal with it…!

Clavis: You’ll deal with it?

--

Emma: Ah, there’s also a pit trap there…Please wait!

--

Emma: Aaahh, there’s bananas falling from the sky so please wait!!

--

Emma: Wait, please wai—Aaaahhhhh

–

(Goodness, that was truly a sight to see. I didn’t know that she’d be able to see through all the traps I set for her)

Something that could only be done with love was truly a fitting birthday present.

Thanks to Emma, the hopelessness I felt a few days ago disappeared and I felt great.

However, there’s still some things that need answers.

Chevalier’s actions, as he presented a mountain of paperwork, was as puzzling as ever.

While the “new maid” was sent to get us some tea, it was time to settle this. 

Clavis: What’s your goal?

Chevalier: …

Clavis: You said I was needed for the embassy matter or else diplomatic relations would’ve been severed. However, these are papers that can wait until tomorrow. Why do we have to get through these today?

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Haha, you’re not saying anything. Can’t say anything about Licht like this, you know?

(I don’t think this man would do anything meaningless)

(So this means something)

(Both bringing me here on my birthday and this absurd pile of paperwork at night…)

I casually glanced at the papers.

The pile didn’t have anything concerning national politics, but rather the Michel territory.

Since it was the family that my mother’s had served for generations, it wasn’t unusual for me to be asked to assist in managing the estate.

However, the issue was that those documents were here of all places.

(This place has nothing to do with the Michel family.)

Clavis: Why did you bring this here?

Chevalier: You think I’d gone through the trouble?

Clavis: Haha. I thought you were trying to harass me.

Chevalier: This was delivered to the castle today. It’s addressed to you.

Clavis: Me?

I froze.

(There’s only one other person cruel enough to give me documents concerning the Michel territory)

Clavis: You don’t think they went to the castle, do you?

I glanced at Chevalier and he laughed at me.

Clavis: …She did. That old hag has too much time on her hands.

Chevalier: Lucky you? You happened to not be in the castle and she didn’t have time for long distance traveling. Someone else brought this.

(...)

Though my mother had passed, I had another relative who was alive and well.

The matriarch of the Lelouch family, my grandmother— 

I was currently in the midst of a private dispute over my fiancee that I didn’t want Emma to find out about.

If I had run into her on my birthday, there would be no time to celebrate.

This time I was saved because I just so “happened” to be off on official business somewhere  far away.

Realizing that…I found myself troubled.

(I've been saved. By this man no less)

(No, he’s not that kind of guy. Normally he wouldn’t involve himself in something like this)

Chevalier: It was convenient for me. That’s all.

(...)

~~ Flashback ~~

Clavis: Hey, Chevalier! It’s my birthday today. Let’s celebrate this year.

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Hey!

Chevalier: Do you believe you’re worth celebrating?

Clavis: I do!

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Don’t laugh at me!

Chevalier: If you want someone to celebrate, make it worth celebrating. Then we’ll talk.

Clavis: You’re always like this. Always talking about worth…it’s not funny!

~~ Flashback end ~~

(Ahh…He’s really making me angry)

Every year, Chevalier’s the only one that doesn’t celebrate my birthday and I avoid him because I don’t want to see his unpleasant face.

In hindsight, was it really a miracle that I’d never have worked on my birthday in the past?

The foreign faction’s schedule wasn’t as predictable as the domestic faction’s.

I did have some control over it, but not complete control. Only one person did—I stopped thinking about it.

(Enough. It’s only going to make me feel miserable)

Clavis: Chevalier, I still want you to step out. I can’t stand not spending any time with Emma on my birthday. If I win, I’m done with my duties.

Chevalier: …Fine. I’ll humor you.

(He usually ignores me)

--

Emma: How long have you known?

After clashing swords with Chevalier, I escaped with Emma, who happened upon us, to a nearby guest room.

Emma didn’t let me carelessly calling her my “lovely fiancee” go.

(Darn it. I’m still agitated)

Clavis: Oh, so the new maid was Emma all along…!

Emma: Don’t pretend to be surprised.

Clavis: Haha, don’t pout.

Clavis: I love you, so how could I not have noticed?

I’m confident that I can see through any of your disguises.

Emma: I guess I still need to practice more if I want to surprise you.

Clavis: Yes, that’s right.

(Her expression…I guess you can say it’s a mix of happiness and frustration)

Just looking at Emma, who’s an open book, makes me feel as if I’ve gathered up all the bliss in the world.

I felt so refreshed that I almost forgot the discomfort and disappointment I had felt earlier.

Clavis: But your aim wasn’t to surprise me, was it? My lovely fiancee, whom I didn’t think I’d be able to see on my birthday, appeared before my eyes and stayed by my side the entire time. Furthermore, she showed just how much she loved me when she saw through and stopped all my pranks. Is there a man out there that wouldn’t feel over the moon by this? I doubt it. I had another wonderful birthday this year. There were some complications, but you made up for them. 

Emma’s dissatisfaction transformed into joy.

(Ah…I feel like a fool)

Emma: It’s still too early to feel satisfied. The real thing’s just beginning. 

Clavis: Haha, is that so?

As I stared at her intently as to not miss a single movement, Emma’s face came closer and her lips touched mine in a way that was unusually honest for her tsundere self.

(There truly isn’t anyone in this world that’s as lovely as Emma)

(...Let’s forget about everything and celebrate. I want you to celebrate me)

Taking advantage of the fact that she lacked an iron will that couldn’t resist me fanning the flames, I tickled the back of her neck with my fingers.

I kissed her several times as if looking for something, but with no signs of stopping, I continued kissing her.

Perhaps it was the understanding that my birthday happened only once a year that encouraged Emma to wrap a hand behind my neck.

Emma: Apologies to King Chevalier, but…I want to spend the rest of the time with you. I’ll celebrate you for as long as we can, Clavis.

Clavis: Yes, of course.

I pushed her down on the bed hand placed my hands beside her so that she couldn’t escape— 

Clavis: I’m a man who likes to be celebrated, so I’ll let you celebrate as much as you want.

By the time I released Emma, the world was bathed in soft morning light.

Having passed out in the middle of the night, the moment she realized it was morning, Emma rushed out of the room and returned with cake and tea.

It seemed like she had made a rainbow birthday cake for me again this year, which made me smile.

(I really wanted to help, but…)

I didn’t feel like getting out of bed and propped myself up on an elbow, watching Emma fumble about.

Right now I just wanted to forget about everything and bathe in bliss.

Emma: Don’t you want to eat?

Clavis: Of course I do. But the problem is that I don’t feel like getting out of bed today.

Oh dear, what a problem indeed. I could eat if my kind-hearted, lovely fiancee would feed me.

Emma: ……

Clavis: Every year I look forward to being wrapped in your love.

Can you at least do this for the birthday boy?

Emma: …Just for today, okay?

(Hm…?)

Emma carefully set the tray with the birthday set on the bed and avoided making eye contact.

She looked embarrassed for some reason.

(I’m in the mood for eye contact though?)

Emma scooped up a piece of the colorful rainbow cake with the fork and I placed my hand on her leg.

Emma: W-what are you doing?

Clavis: Oh, would you like me to explain in detail?

Sure. I saw your exposed legs, so I thought you were offering— 

Emma: Hurry up and eat your cake, happy birthday!

(Ah, how cute…You truly are adorable)

She shoved the cake against my lips, but my hand didn’t leave her leg. Instead, I began to attack the back of her knee.

Emma: Nn…

Clavis: Haha, that was a sweet sound.

(Your weak spot)

As I continued to deliberately tickle her, Emma became more agitated.

Emma: The cake’s about to fall off.

Clavis: We can’t have that. I don’t want to miss a single piece from a cake you made.

Come on now. If you keep looking away, it’ll really fall. 

Fed up, Emma finally looked at me.

(Oh…)

Her serious expression was filled with allure.

The atmosphere was dizzying to the point of shattering all sense of reason.

(I know what that tsun-tsun face means)

(It’s the face she makes when she loves me so much she doesn’t know what to do with herself)

The confidence came not from conceitedness, but rather past experience.

Just like how Emma can see through all my pranks, I also know Emma pretty well myself.

Clavis: You really know how to please me, don’t you?

Emma: Do I?

Clavis: Yes. I present you with the honor of Lelouch Master. A title only you could earn.

Emma: That…

Might make me feel a little happy.

Clavis: Don’t feel so modest. You’re “very happy” aren’t you?

Emma’s cheeks slowly turned red and she tried to look elsewhere.

When I moved a finger as if to reprimand her, she returned her gaze to me as if understanding what I wanted.

(You might’ve not noticed, but the new maid would also sometimes let her gaze wander off)

(You’d look away any time I praised you for seeing through a prank)

(A habit whenever you get embarrassed. However—)

Clavis: Keep your eyes on me, Miss Accomplice.

After all, everything I do is out of love for you, isn’t it?

Not just now, but everything else up to this point.

Emma seemed to notice my implications.

Emma: Clavis, it can’t be that…all the pranks played on King Chevalier…they were— 

Clavis: As expected of the Lelouch Master. You’re pretty sharp.

(If you kept your eyes on me, you would’ve noticed sooner)

(...Because I couldn’t stop smiling)

Emma: You played me.

Clavis: Haha, you still have ways to go. After Master, you should aim for Legend.

Emma: Of course, I’ll get promoted right away. I’ll reach Legend next year.

Clavis: Oh, that’s a lot of confidence.

Emma: So, um…that means I want to understand you even better than before!

(...!)

She shoved the cake in my mouth and quickly kissed his cheek.

Emma, who distanced herself, looked like she was about to start steaming from embarrassment. But her eyes didn’t leave me as quickly as they did before.

(Every time you celebrate me, I feel like I can’t lose)

(...I got saved by Chevalier this year, which isn’t good)

(I have to learn to protect myself so that Emma can love me freely)

I wanted to give Emma more happiness than she had given me.

That’s why I have this strong desire.

Clavis: Now then, let’s see what your future holds.

Can you love me even more, Emma?

(I’ll pull some evil deeds behind the scenes…so that you can love me even more)

[wyatt-writes]

Your Glasses ?

Miguel ohara x bottom male reader

This contains: Fluff, established relationship, short fic. Yes starting off wholesome. Maybe a cover up because I suck at smut but no one has to know.

Im starting off my blog with my stuff I have on Wattpad @ trygonaize or Wyatt

It was a beautiful day in Nueva York, my universe, with the sunshine and breeze lifting my spirits. The recent string of gloomy days made today's clear skies even more enjoyable. I was eager to spend this beautiful day with Miguel. However, dating Spider-Man meant he was often busy, a trade-off I had to accept. Still, I longed for time together with my boyfriend. Who wouldn't?

Unable to resist, I grabbed my phone to text Miguel about my plans. When he didn't respond right away, I assumed he was tied up with work. Then, I texted him on the watch he gave me for emergencies, knowing he'd see it.

Me: Hey Miguel I wanted to see if you were free today because I want to hangout and you weren't answering your phone

Miguel: Yeah babe I'm free. Not right now that's why I didn't pick up but I'll be at your house soon.

Me: Okay, luv ya

Miguel: Love you too, more than you know mi vida.

I smiled at his last text, savoring his words. Each "I love you" from Miguel was a treasure, more cherished than a simple heart emoji her usually reply with. Feeling energized, I decided to freshen up. I chose shorts, a collared t-shirt, and the necklace Miguel gave me for our anniversary. After styling my hair a bit, I lay down on my bed to plan our day.

Experience had taught me that Miguel's "soon" often meant I had some time. So, I started scrolling through my phone for ideas. Eventually, I stumbled upon an ad for a theme park. It sounded like a blast, so I went ahead and booked the tickets. Now, all that was left was to wait for Miguel to arrive. To pass the time, I scrolled through Instagram and even learned a dance or two to my favorite song on TikTok. Before I knew it, hands snaked around my waist.

"Don't even use the door anymore?" I said playfully.

"Do I need to?" Miguel chuckled.

"Just stop creeping up on me," I said, slipping out of his grip.

"Mmhm, so what are we doing today, amor?" Miguel asked, his hands finding their way back around my waist.

"We're going to the theme park, and you can't say no because I already bought the tickets," I replied with a smug grin, showing him the tickets.

"You know I'll never say no to you," Miguel stated.

"That's what I like to hear. Now get off me and go wash up. Who knows what universe you've been in," I joked, half-seriously.

"Alright, alright. I have to listen to whatever my Príncipe says," Miguel finished as he walked off to shower.

I settled on the couch, getting caught up in whatever show was on TV. Time flew by, and soon Miguel was coming down the hallway. I gestured for him to follow me out the door.

"Wait a sec," Miguel said, sounding worried.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"My glasses," Miguel stated. I tried to hold back my laugh but failed.

"Y-your glasses?" I said between giggles.

"This is no laughing matter," Miguel insisted. "I'm not leaving without them."

"I'm sorry, but since when did you wear glasses?" I laughed.

"I've always had them; I- just don't wear them," Miguel said.

"So why do you need them now? We're going to a theme park," I questioned, confused about why he suddenly wanted to wear them.

"Because..." Miguel trailed off nervously. I looked at him, bewildered. "Because I heard you on the phone one day."

"Oh my god," I muttered to myself, realizing he was talking about the time I told my best friend that men with glasses were a turn-on.

"So you're looking for them now to impress me?" I asked.

"Maybe..." Miguel admitted reluctantly, his pride holding him back. I walked up to him, cupping his face in my hands.

"Babe, I'll always love you no matter what you look like. I didn't think something like that would get to you. I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

"I know, [name], but sometimes I'm scared I'm not enough. I haven't been the best boyfriend, and I know you wish I could be there more, and I—" I interrupted his rambling with a kiss.

"It's okay, Miguel, because I love you. You're my one and only. Forever and always," I spoke softly.

"I-I love you too, mi vida," Miguel responded, his appreciation evident in his eyes.

Word count 792

A/n : hope I did good enough Ik it's short but there's more to come soon!

[wakeup01]

The Shorts, Like, Maketh The Man

The black shorts were just laying there, hanging off the empty bench. I know, I know. But I wasn’t usually the type to pick up sweaty used clothing in the street, but there was something drawing me to them. Calling out to me. They weren’t really my style even, clearly gym shorts for the sort of person who spends at least an hour a day looking in the mirror. I’d never even set foot in a gym. But still, they were…nice. The polyester material felt good in my hand. Silky. There was clearly some text on the back of them but I was too excited to bother reading it. Maybe I could have them? It didn’t seem like the owner wanted them anymore anyway. I look around for any onlookers and quietly take them, stuffing them away in my pocket.

I wanted to try them on. Needed to. Finding a secluded area, I remove my trousers and pull the smooth fabric up my unimpressive legs. They felt incredibly good around my waist, like they were made for me. There was a warmth radiating from them. Mmff. They seem to press against…all the right places. Clinging to my skin. I catch myself letting out a soft moan, my face blushing red at hearing the sound. Maybe I should take them off, it would be weird to walk home in someone else’s—someone…some..one. Mine. They were my shorts. I leave the baggy trousers behind and step out into the street, an extra boost of confidence in my step.

While I’m walking my body feels slightly off, as if my weight distribution had shifted. Each foot forward felt heavier, stronger. People start to turn and gaze at me. I catch a glimpse of my chunky arms; were they always that veiny? Huh. I see my reflection strutting in a shop window and freeze on the spot. What on earth? There was a completely different person staring back at me. He was sexy as all hell. I looked like a utter gymrat. I touch my sharp, smooth jaw and run my fingers over my harsh buzzed hair. The visage in the reflection copies my exact movements, a large, self assured smirk set on their face. Curious, I lift the hem of my t-shirt. Woah! I was completely jacked! You could sharpen a blade on these abs.

Somehow I had gained pounds of lean muscle in a matter of minutes and my skin had been tanned a luscious golden hue. Certainly, I wasn’t about to complain about this turn of events. Maybe I should pick up discarded clothes more often!

Fuck, my body was li—like, fit. Just check it out. I pull out my phone and take a selfie. Okay. Maybe several selfies. Fine, maybe it was a couple dozen. Who gives a fuck when you look this hot. I didn’t even care about the pedestrians walking past and staring. They SHOULD stare. Admire this prize. This TROPHY. I was in peak form from head to toe. The shiny shorts accentuated my thick, meaty legs perfectly.

My eyes suddenly catch the time on my phone, pulling me out of my shameless self obsession. Damn, at this rate I was gonna be late for Daddy. Wait. Daddy? That’s not right, I wasn’t…

Ugh. My mind felt all jumbled up, like a finished jigsaw puzzle suddenly dropped to the floor. Pieces scattered. It was…I needed to…Daddy! Like, of course. After all, I was just a trophy boy. HIS trophy. An accessory for him to show off. Sculpting my body just how daddy likes it; my muscles existed for his enjoyment. Not that I didn’t enjoy them too…hmm.

My head hurt. Fuck. Was that right? No, I couldn’t be just some brainless boy toy. Now it made sense why the owner abandoned these damn shorts. Shit, It was altering my mind. I was becoming…I needed to remove these—mmff. But right then I feel the shorts squeeze on my bulge. It felt incredible! I shouldn’t, but I never, like, you know, wanted it to stop. My sensitive cock pulsed, thickening while stretching across the fabric. Ahhh! I grin inanely as pre drips down my leg. Like, yeah. Da—daddy loved his boy all hard. He loved when I did as he instructed. A pretty plastic toy to pose and play with. I was so proud to be his. Yes, I was his; body and mind. Like, how did I forget? I can be such an air-headed ditz sometimes. It’s a good thing Daddy also likes his twunky boys dumb; dumb, vapid and full of cum. I was good at those things. Huhuhuh.

I turn around - biting my lip - and look at my tight rear. The shorts thin fabric was digging between the two round globes. ‘Daddy’s Trophy’ was emblazoned on the back, across my cheeks. Mmff. I give my butt a light slap and watch it jiggle. I happily let out a pleasurable moan; it made me feel nice that everyone would know what I am. Explaining it was like, soo difficult and stuff. Daddy says I shouldn’t stress my pretty little head over such complex things. Uhhh. Anyway, these shorts were his favourite, all his boys wore them. He loved watching me dutifully clean the house in them. Or working out in them. Or obediently fucking him in them. Or being fucked…bouncing on his lap.

Oh right! I just remembered! I was supposed to meet him. Sir wanted to finalise our arrangement, there was one last thing to change before I could sign that dull agreement. His trophy boys were always blond. Blond and basic. Huhu. Just like I was about to be.