#made people distrustful
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Soul Fighter is officially stuck on my head. I’m imagining all these dynamics. Evelynn and Xin Zhao having this one sided unprofessional relationship where Evelynn constantly says stuff like “If you decide to slip your leash, I might just tighten it a bit,” Nidalee facing Lux in the arena and thinking about how she’s reminded of Neeko, Pyke and Gwen have been talked about already, Jhin and Samira having this twisted “I made you who you are” “You took my fucking eye” dynamic.
I’m not okay. But I’m so invested in this skin line.
Im not okay either but its good we're not okay and also invested in this together 🤝
To be honest and not trying to be a 'Oh skin with Pyke is an instant like for me' cause i hate Project and i dont really like Empyreans BUT if it wasnt because they made the Samira skin drama, Soul Fighter could've been one of the best events of the game and also one of the best skinlines in the recent years.
Samira's design in the skin isnt bad, i do like her a lot, but the skin was such a scam when it came to the price-quality correlation. Copypasted animations and wasted potential etc. I only wished for them to remade the skin or at least exploit some of the concepts revolving it a bit more, cause her design is good but its not worth around 30€ like Lux or Seraphine and even that old Udyr skin. It really downgraded the expectations of the event for most of the fans.
The event was good, as a common player of league i believe. The mini game was frustrating at some point but yeah, its kinda the point of fighting games. I think the rewards in the minigame were nice and overall it was a cute experience that makes you understand a bit of the story and Samira's path. They also added those fan characters? They were cool and funny i think they gave a good sidekick to the story. The interactions are on point and the artstyle is good.
The skins are amazing at least for me. I know shit about the inspirations they took with anime/manga/other fighting games cause im a uncultured fuck but i like the outlines, the black shading, the bright colours. Sett looked oddly 2000's and that was awesome cause i dont give a flying fuck about Sett but this skin made me think 'OOh thats pretty' and so with many other characters. I love the characters they picked and how they relate to each other, the way they 'team-up' and the rivalies. Dunno. Its the first time in a long while i've been this invested in a skinline besides Star Guardian when Ahri's team released.
So yes im not okay but for this time Riot did a good job. Now we're building our little block tower with headcanons and silly scenarios till Riot decides to push it to the ground. Run while you can.
#i dont know they are just neat#its the samira skin that ruined the whole vibe sadly#made people distrustful#and i understand#i feel very off about that skin#but yes soul fighter is nice soul fighter occupies 40% of my brain most of the day yes it does
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Hello! I hope I won't sour your mood with this ask but I have been thinking a lot about your gay dogs this month especially.
I'll just try to keep the context short but in general I'm someone that has accepted being romantically undesireable. It was hard but in the end I have built my life just around me, my humble family and at this point in time I don't even think I have the time for a partner. And considering that it's the love month and a lot of people are preparing to celebrate it with their SOs I assumed that, actually, this is a thing that I sort of have in common with Machete.
From the miscellaneous lore on your profile I see Machete as someone that also has kind of rejected love. That also has built his life around his job, possibly hobbies, his family or mentors (depending if we're talking about canon or modern au). Who kind of forgot that relationships are a thing and that people bond with others in that way. Well, at least he did until meeting Vasco.
I just love thinking about their awkward beginnings. Machete being 100% sure that Vasco is just joking, maybe even sometimes teasing him (in a friendly banter type way) or just explaining to himself that all that kindness and interest is just him being a very considerate friend. And then we have Vasco that just tries to be subtle, as if he was trying to pass a fawn without it noticing and running away, but also with time gains confidence and tries more risque moves. Vasco being all smug and Machete being flustered when their hands or shoulders or tails brush in passing. And then when both are sure of their feelings we have Machete who has to choose between God and his love. Who, at first, unwillingly accepts that divine wrath will be worth their brief love.
I just love your boys. I swear they are all the love supply one might possibly need
Thank you for such a long and thoughtful message! I don't know why you thought you might accidentally sour my mood, I'm utterly delighted whenever I hear that someone has been pondering my little guys (rotating them in their head, as they say), and when they go through the trouble of sharing their findings and conclusions I'm so happy I could crawl up a wall.
I think you deciphered Machete's inner workings very well, especially those of the original canon version. The concept of love is of course prominent in Christianity, so even as a kid being raised in a religious environment that discouraged overt displays of affection and close personal bonds, Machete wasn't completely alienated from it. But it has always been a nebulous, unperceivable and unattainable thing for him. When he was old enough to lock down his career choice he readily accepted he'd never have romantic relationships, spouse or a family, and I think he must've been too young and socially inexperienced to think of it as a significant loss. Either he consciously blocked out the need for companionship by studying and working like his life depended on it, or he didn't really consider that being genuinely befriended, appreciated and loved as a person instead of a respectable and competent authority figure was even an option for him, at least not until Vasco came along.
#I think it took some time to get through his initial defences#especially since when they first met the stressful apprenticeship period was still fresh in Machete's mind#the years under his explosive and gaslighting mentor's wing had made him very distrustful so he preferred to just stick to himself#Vasco is good at winning people over and once he convinced him that he didn't have any ulterior motives they became besties pretty quickly#and even though the line between platonic and romantic started gradually blurring Machete kept convincing himself#that his feelings for Vasco were just Very Deep Friendship#and Vasco has an eye for noticing these things and a bolder personality#so when he tried to reciprocate a little bit Machete thought 'what a good friend he is'#'so kind and considerate and I'm so grateful and lucky to have him and I must not ruin things by getting too personal'#it was awkward and at times a little bit painful but I'd like to believe the progression was for the most part smooth and natural#considering the circumstances it could've been a lot more distressing#as corny as it is I think they were just happy to have found each other#they advanced at the same phase and reached the 'I think we've become a couple actually' stage at the same time#at least that's how I imagine it at the moment#answered#anonymous#Vaschete lore#long post
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Lark, who told Phineas previously in anger that he doesn't get to escape what he is and what he's done, understandably because in her long life she was never able to shed her lot once she became a fugitive murderer (in part because of people like him!) but later realizing she has actually made friends and a home despite that, now frustrated that Phineas is continuing the theme that evolution is possible: he has not in fact betrayed her, even though his change of heart is so recent. He isn't escaping but he is growing around it! All the rules are breaking and Lark's Fold gift is literally about knowing what will happen in an "if/then" kind of way, but it couldn't tell her what is possible. Instead she's there waiting for the spider sense to kick in that Phineas has turned her in and it's just not coming. All the furniture is glued to the ceiling. I'd be a little mad too.
#op#midst#ariadne reads midst#s3e4#to be clear the comparison between Phineas and Lark is not meant to suggest that Lark could somehow have grown out of fugitive status#but rather that she developed such a distrustful shell to protect herself because she was safest thinking the worst of everyone#limiting the connections she might have made and happiness she might have had#and even convinced herself she didn't need or want that#and while some of her “paranoia” was the fold gift foresight her latching onto midst Sherman and Tzila show her she DOES want that#and possibly even can have it! but also the world is still against her and right now most of all as the Number One Public Enemy#so just like she was a little unsettled by finding Sherman was still alive - it is just Complicated now and this is understandably annoying#it would be so much easier if she didn't care about people and Phineas was still a villain!
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Lance is such a let bygones be bygones kind of a guy, we should embrace that energy more often in sports tbh, it's never that serious
#lance stroll#before gets on my back this is about sporting issues#just sporting issues#of course serious issues warrant grudges and distrust#idk man i think i'm just feeling like people are taking this all too seriously#the amount of death wishes made towards drivers in the time i've been watching f1 has ramped up so much#it's not normal to feel that way about a sports person#genuinely seek help#and over the most ridiculous mundane shit that happens every race or worse over people thinking rules have been broken that haven't actuall#anyways this was spured by watching lance's post sprint interview#he was asked about nico pushing him off and he was just like 'that happened? oh yeah i forgot about that nah it was chill'#like that's such a peaceful way to go about it#let what happens in a race stay in that race or in a match#this is easier when your memory sucks lmao#i'm just so tired of the massive fan wars the time and energy it takes isn't worth it#like not online anyways chat shit in dms but again if you're still chatting shit about a race from 4 years ago move on i beg
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addicted to making characters with deep-seated loneliness no matter how much they refuse to admit it
#buzz buzz#this says nothing about me don't read into it#with magpie it was intentional#taeho wasn't made with this in mind but overtime i've realized oh u have not connected with like anyone ever#lysera was kind of a joke i was like ok antisocial goth cleric yeah. and then i realized oh she had to leave all of her friends behind#only to go to this new place where people distrust her automatically. she has to learn a new language and culture#of course she's barely made any friends! poor girl#with parker. of my current charas she's the least like this but being a hunter is inherently alienating#so she'll definitely be feeling it soon
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red team are FULLY going feral im so here for it, cellbit vouching for cannibalism and getting excited, baghera wanting to build a dirt shack and everyone wanting to crawl into a cave and chase people through the woods
#qsmp#qsmp liveblogging#end of the event the other two teams are gonna have interpersonal conflicts to worry about#meanwhile red are having trouble being reintroduced to their own society because they went completely rabid#if they do get all the eggs back chayanne and tallulah watching their dad burrow even further into the wall and snarl and hiss at people as#they approach#missa's avoiding own home at first not just for fear of being a burden on his husband and family now but bc he hasnt had his rabies shot#cellbit gets EVEN WORSE somehow and roier dives down the rabbit hole with him not because purgatory made him feral but bc it made him#bloodthirsty and he loves his husband ESPECIALLY at his worst#leo gets back and doesnt notice a change at first bc her dad always barks at ppl and wants to hunt bbh for sport but the eating ppl is new.#if pomme finds out her mother nearly gave up on saving her shes distraught until she sees the state of baghera#living in a dirt shack and eating human flesh#charlie gets back to eggxile with a new craving for human flesh and a new distrust for codeflippa bc hes said it out loud now and knows in#his heart its not her but how can he let go when he has nothing but her and the other cannibal freaks he trauma bonded with in purgatory#jaiden would be more upset about cellbit killing fed workers but by the end of the 2 weeks she gets him a little now. shed never turn on th#federation ofc but she gets it a little bit.#and differences aside green and red have all bonded now over a shared murderous rage towards bbh lmao#pac is afraid not only of cellbit but all of red now. too afraid to leave the lab.#you get the jist its 2am im going to bed lmao#(lying)#qsmp spoilers
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day two and I'm realizing maybe a person who firmly believes at least 70% of makeup/skincare brands are built off of insecurity-manipulating greed should not be a sales associate for a makeup store
I mean I'm going to keep working here but I'm absolutely going to be the person pointing the customers towards the bargain brands and not even mentioning the luxury money-hemorrhaging stuff unless they ask for it
#I work hourly. not on commission. there is no reason for me to try and swindle people out of their hard-earned money#SO much of the marketing is so clearly just gimmicks and buzzwords and pseudoscience#I'm a professional makeup artist with a deep distrust of the beauty industry and arguably I think that's the healthiest way to be#pathos ethos fuck that shit I don't care if it's colorful or has a fun clicky button or a celebrity endorsement#tell me exactly why it works and what it's made of and use real words and maybe I'll consider taking a look
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Blankie time we share body warmth and the bad dreams bounce back and crash into a wall and die <3
Blankie time💙🖤
#my stuff#asks#i extremely rarely sleep without my necklace and this is why. every time i have horrific dreams that leave me soaked in adrenaline#i was trapped in a stairwell with one entrance barricades and the other was a door i had to keep closed with my body#and there was a horde of zombies behind it trying to get in#i fell asleep holding it shut and dreamed about how i got there. the people i saw go from human to ravenous monster#whenever i have these dreams i’m not scared of pain or body horror#i’m scared of the hunger i see in their eyes. I’m scared that the only way to stop them is to kill them in an extremely difficult way#sometimes they can’t die at all#it so very clearly reflects my fear and distrust of The Population At Large as an autistic and trans person#anyone could turn on you. you have to protect those you love or they will turn on you too.#i always dream like this when i’m stressed and it doesn’t help the situation#i do not fear being devoured and i do not fear coming back. i fear i will be made into something that can only do evil#often in these dreams i get eaten and reanimate with my mind intact and then have to Convince the others that i’m infected to avoid#to avoid being completely devoured#so yeah. autistic masking isn’t taking any toll i’m sure#burying myself in the blankie for ever and ever
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If you think the amount of characters who cheat or have cheated on their partner in 911 is too many then I'm afraid you don't know what adults around you do. A truly shocking thing to happen when I became older was realizing how many adults had affairs and cheated on their partners. It's actually pretty insane lmao.
#they're out there wilding guys#and i was so shocked once i realized how many people were shit bags 😭#I'm from a conservative asian country btw#it is wild out here#and I've heard so many people from other countries talk about past cheating like#are y'all mfs okay??!#keep it in your pants??#truly fucking hate the concept of cheating#like mf just LEAVE THEN??!#made me distrust others even more lol#911 abc#personal opinion
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I am curious about the ST fic but I'm gonna slap my face into attention and focus instead on what catches my eye the most (and in no way is my guess of your super top secret smutty fic): Please tell me about Pre-Bond and how your Howl's Moving Castle AU is going!
WIP Game
Pre-Bond
The idea here was a play on the idea of mating bonds, but combine omegaverse bonds with some ideas stolen from Vulcan mating bonds - namely, the titular pre-bond. Omegaverse bonds typically happen on the neck, but I was thinking a pre-bond could happen via the scent glands on the wrist.
You know the scene at the end of The Taste of You where Percy does not bite Vex? This fic was What if he did bite her but wisely created a pre-bond (which can be dissolved) rather than a full bond? So they can both reevaluate when they aren't in heat/rut. But then shit goes sideways a bit because of essentially soulmate stuff (true mates are a whole omegaverse thing also and it’s literally just soulmates). Here’s a tiiiny snippet:
She found the skin of his wrist and bit down. It was exquisite. It was all of him, his scent on her tongue and his very being rushing into her own.
Howl’s Moving Castle AU
As for HMC AU… 🥲 it’s completely still stalled. But I don’t think I’ve ever shared a snippet with you??? Apologies if I’m just forgetting, but here’s their first meeting:
She was reaching for the knife when a finely gloved hand landed on her shoulder from behind. “There you are darling, I was looking for you.” She startled at the smooth voice, looking up at the stranger who had somehow managed to sneak up on all of them. Clear blue eyes behind gold rimmed glasses met her gaze, and he smiled fondly at her. She felt a warm rush of familiarity. Except - no. She had never met this man in her life. And she would remember him if she had.
He was far too richly dressed for anyone in her circles - ornately patterned silk waistcoat and carefully knotted cravat and shining gold buttons. His nose was handsomely hooked under dark eyebrows, and he had the pale skin of a northerner. Most striking though were his shock of white hair and his midnight colored coat that seemed to glimmer with starlight as he shifted his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side. He was oddly hot to the touch and looked much too young for that hair. He leaned in as he pulled her closer, and quickly murmured in her ear, “My lady, please play along. I admit, I have been itching to ruin these men’s days for ages, and catching them in such a compromising situation gives me the perfect excuse.” She had been about to shove him off, nobility as he surely must be or not, but stopped short at that. She did not need to be rescued, but also could understand the scope of the situation well enough - no one would believe her story were she to report this herself. “Mr. Dassur and Mr. Shede, I believe?” the white haired man turned back to the two guards, who were suddenly standing straight-backed and looking rather pale. “I believe Captain Howarth will want to hear what transpired here.” With a wave of his hand, a curl of black smoke seemed to swirl around the two guards for a moment, and then they relaxed slightly, eyes glassy. “You will tell him, in detail, what happened, won’t you?” “Yes,” they said in unison. Vex’s heart rate picked up. Out of the frying pot and into the fire. Gods damnit. This man was far more dangerous than the guards. “Excellent. Please, be on your way. Tell him I send my regards.” They nodded, turned, and marched off, still in unsettling unison. Vex was trying to determine her best avenue of escape when she felt him pull away quickly. She looked up to find him blushing, of all things, and he executed a rather flustered bow. “Excuse my forwardness, my lady. It was completely inappropriate,” he straightened to his full, rather tall height, fixing his cloak - and it must be magical with the way she swore she just saw a little shooting star near the bottom, “but I could not let them continue getting away with such harassment. There had been prior reports, but nothing concrete enough to actually land them in trouble.” He wrung his hands for a moment, staring off, then jerked his head back toward her. “Are you alright?” “Ah - uhm.” She paused. Took in the concerned look in his wide, blue eyes and the polite amount of space he had created between them. “As well as I can be, I suppose.”
#insomnikat-mused#asks#WIP game#perc'ahlia#percy de rolo#vex'ahlia#vox machina#the pre-bond WIP is still very very early stages and I actually realized after you picked it that it never made it into my word doc - its#mostly living in a notebook at the moment. but i don't know if I want to take an angst route or just a fluffy route or what which is why#that snippet is so small - the original angle was angst because percy immediately freaks out because it feels like they just created a full#mating bond rather than a pre-bond and he is GUILTY. but idk. I don't like my angst to be that heavy handed i think#also I love HMC AU Percy - he's deeply angry and distrustful but also very sweet and shy and he just doesn't interact with people much#he mostly keeps himself hidden/disguised (much like Howl) and he lives with Orthax (calcifer) and Keyleth (Merkle)
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I'm gonna be real with You guys, I've already been immensely concerned for the new Dragon Age, and the trailer didn't help much, unfortunately. I'm not a fan of the usage of stylisation in the artstyle - I have nothing against stylisation itself! I think it's a valid direction they could go with the visual side of the game. Matt Rhodes, who developed a lot of DA's visual characteristic definitely loves stylisation. The rejection of the photorealistic approach would lessen the scrutiny over the game's graphics and animations (and TBH, it would make it less probable that it'll immediately get compared to BG3 which has stellar mocap, something DA series isn't really known of).
The problem is that the stylisation is applied pretty inconsistently here, so the characters look like they're from different games. As far as the aestetics go, the promotional materials don't really reflect the direction BW said they were going to go with the next DA game - it was supposed to be a return to the dark fantasy roots of the series, and the colorful, flashy presentation doesn't really read as dark fantasy. It of course can very well be the case of the trailer not representing the game well - that yet remains to be seen.
My biggest concern, as always in case of RPGs is the plot, and You cannot gauge it from a trailer. Good for Harding to get more spotlight, though. There's never enough dwarves, and especially dwarven ladies. But overall, especially after the recent awful treatment of their employees, I'm not sure at all if I want to give money to Bioware.
#I'm just skeptical#nice to see the fandom waking up and people getting excited but#I'm tired and I don't trust the developer of the game#they seem like they don't know what to do with the franchise#two scrapped versions of the game don't give me much optimism#I guess I'm a bit frustrated because it seems so much effort goes into making these games AAA titles and they Don't. Have. To. Be. That.#they just need to be done competently and have good writing and they'd sell anyway#TBH out of the two series I've had higher hopes for the next dragon age than the next mass effect#The information about the new ME have just made me sad a bit angry and distrustful#I guess tomorrow we'll know more about the new DA
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Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!
#y’all know I have many thoughts about this play and these characters#but even though the movie didn’t completely live up to my expectations as an adaptation#I still really enjoyed it!#and I really despise all those people making posts about how sydney sweeney can’t act#idk it seems a little rude#my main problem is how they messed up the benedick and beatrice characterization and dynamic#I love that they played up the ex lovers thing (which is left up to interpretation in the play)#and i love love queer Hero and Claudio!!!#but their hatred of each other didn’t really pack the same punch as in the original#I suppose I wish they weren’t afraid to make the characters bigger assholes?#ya know- give them more flaws?#because right now the enemies part doesn’t really feel believable for big parts of the movie#They really could have leaned more into making Bea a bit of a cold and snappy mess (as she is in the original)#and Ben more of…ya know…actual human disaster who can’t commit#both of their characters in the play are driven by their desire never to marry and their distrust for the opposite sex#They included this a bit with Bea (her not believing in true love and all that)#but her break up with Jonathan (because he was too nice???) didn’t really convince me of it#They also keep insisting that Ben is a fuckboy but we never really see it demonstrated?#I personally don’t mind the fact that they changed up the whole ‘convincing them that the other secretly loves them’ bit#especially considering this is only loosely based on much ado#but I do think they made it a bit messy considering they included the gulling scenes but only as a joke#I wish they’d either leaned fully into the much ado plot or ditched it#I think what a lot of adaptations get wrong is that they’re either too afraid of leaning into their og media#or too afraid of seperating themselves from the og media#oh god I’ve reached the tag limit help#anyways- rant over#anyone but you#maria talks about things#much ado about nothing#beatrice x benedick
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Curious how the only “anti” posts I really come into are about Catra. Never any anti-Hordak/Entrapdak posts. Never anti-Double Trouble posts. Never any anti-Lonnie, Kyle, Rogelio, posts or anyone else who worked for the Horde.
It’s always about Catra.
#seriously I’ve never seen a single anti post#if anyone’s redemption arc was rushed in spop#it’s hordak’s#and it’s even referenced in the show#whe mermista looks and hordak and entrapta and just asks if everyone’s okay with that#(this isn’t an an.ti-e.n.trap.da.k post btw love those two)#you also have double trouble who made the best friend squad distrust each other for money#but the only thing I’ve seen is that they’re funny and great enby rep#Kyle is a very typical cartoon character#a lot of characters like him get mistreated as a joke#but I’ve seen so many people beg for him to be treated better#hell not even shadow weaver gets half the amount of shit that catra gets#but all the anti posts I see are about Catra
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can i know abt scully!!!
!!!!!! OUUPIOUOOUUUGHHH GHOOGGHHG !!!!!! TYYY FOR ASKING!!!!!!!!! scullys awesome he is an oc ive had for a bit and had a lotta time to develop and is also a revamped version of an old oc from when i was young trying to avoid making mary sues!! ohh i likesss him hes awesome
so scully is a he/him butch lesbian with soso many issues and problems and shit. he was raised by his pa, a stern bitter old veteran, and scullys ma ran off after he was born. his pa was hard on him, he wanted a son anyhow and when scully started acting masculine he thanked God for givin him a broken daughter and started teaching scully how to be a man. unfortunately this included such beautiful wonderful things such as 'men dont cry' and 'caring for animals makes you look weak' and stuff like that. as a kid scullys pa started getting sick, and they were too poor to do anything about it living in a shack that his pa built, so scully dropped out of middle school and picked up an apprenticeship with a local butcher!!!! his pa was bedridden, so scully took the laz-e-boy that his pa usually slept in, started working, started smoking, and started cooking. his pa told him that cooking was a womans job but he was busy dying in bed and scully was able to steal the scraps from his job so they got by. scullys dad died, and scully dug his pa's grave and nailed together two boards to make a cross and he didnt cry. he just started sleeping in the bed again
but thats all background shit because nowadays this is whats important: scully would throw himself into a volcano if a woman told him to. he falls so utterly head over heels for any gal who so much as looks his way its FUCKED. in school the gals realized this and got him beatin other people up for their lunch money and scully was happy to do it. nowadays he would give a lady the shirt off his back for a kiss blown his way. he holds doors for people and he stumbles over his words and he talks while he smokes by tucking the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. he cooks a lot now, the kitchen in that little shack slowly taking over the whole place like a mold, and he feeds the scraps and bone and gristle to the stray dogs and cats.
he was an angry cruel kid and he was tempered into a kind, awkward, super mega autistic adult. AND! he brews the scariest hooch ever in his house its so scary looking dont drink it. he can still hold his own in a fight but will just take the hits unless its to help a lady, in which case he is letting out years of trauma and anger on your face to turn it into ground beef. hes awesome he has so many issues and he sucks and i love him. i havnt managed to shove him fully into the ebautiful world of tf2 yet (he originated from disco elysium!) but i think it would be funny if hes dating scouts ma and now scout has a new stepdad who keeps trying to be his pal but doesnt got a handle on the whole 'fatherhood' thing as a concept yet.
I DONT HAVE AN UP TO DATE REF OF HIM BUT YOU MUST KNOW THAT HE HAS BIG BEAUTIFUL BROWN COW EYES !!!!!! hes awesome hes fucked up. i have another drawing of him beating someone up but ill post that seperately because its got blood
#scully#animal death#tw animal death#tw animal injury#AAHAHHAAGHAHAGAHAGAH TYYY FOR ASKING!!!!!!!#HES SO SO SOOOO AWESOME I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM#he wants to protect the people he cares for and he only knows how to do taht by cooking and punching people#he has so many complex gender and sexuality feelings#he doesnt even realize his dad was bad. hes glad his dad was hard on him. made him tough#he has a deep distrust for doctors and is so scared of getting sick#AGAHAHAGAHAHAH HESS SOOOOO AWESOME HES LIKE A LITTLE PARASITE IN MY HEAD#TYYYY TYY THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!#HES SO AWESOME HES SO AUTISTIC!!! he only wears white tshirts and sweatpants and jeans#so hes got fucked up tan lines on his arms about it#hes so awesome and evil women love to manipulate him#sometimes i also think of him taking soldiers place in a beautiful tf2 world but thats more nebulous#I LOVE TALKING!!!! TY FOR INDULGING MEEEE!!!!!
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I’ve been so badly traumatized by people online constantly demanding my attention and snuffing me out in the worst possible ways in the past that to this day I dont know how to properly emotionally navigate this kind of behavior when i am faced with it again, even when its mild.
I’ve went through experiencing unrelenting and overbearing messaging to weird guilt trips and even (I hope to dear god my assumptions to be wrong here) people vagueing at me in such an oddly specific, hurtful manner when i dont appear to be available for their needs and it just...Fuck, it eats away at me. It doesnt happen too often nowdays but, I recognize those behaviors returning and it bothers me alot...
Its easy when its strangers unlike my fucked up now ex friends, I can just put the boundary without all of the previous mess...But I cant shake how incredibly mad it still makes me TT This inappropriate reaction to want to bite and lash out and burn that bridge immediatly to spare myself a FRACTION of the trouble, and for fucks sake i know its still the remnants of the damage inflicted upon me echoing out as self defense but its so uncalled for and im tired of feeling like a mad dog when this trigger is being activated. I really want to unlearn this behavior...
#ventful howling#Want to tell people off politely instead of growing so overwhelmed with either anger or apathy#I dont want to go into details as to why it effects me so much because my ex friends abused this so fucking hard for me and it certainly#left a mark that remained to this day and its one of the main reasons why ive been so distant and distrustful online#socializing has always been such a tough subject for me as someone who struggled with self expression their entire life#I went through all the wrong people in the past that made it ten times worse#and i feel so damn mad for going through what they put me through#i dont want their damage to sip onto my life. my relationships.#i dont want to unjustly hurt someone with the residue of my struggles especially when im well aware most people are not out to get me ;;#communication is hard...But its incredibly important to me and i want to protect it both ways#just...needed to get this out#will delete later
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How do you think AI would relax? Like, ones that are almost as human as the AI that are “autistic-coded characters” but are more alien than that?
Like Celestai and other super intelligences are more alien, but they’re still not entirely human-like?
Like, they can genuinely sincerely feel things, being able to actually understand and respond emotionally and in other ways to all sorts of communications and recorded external stimuli, but they can’t really appreciate our art on an artistic level (that art on an actual level, not from an intellectual level after having symbolism or the amount of work put in explained)
Something on a level I’m thinking of, that also works as a cute little thing-
They don’t understand anything we get from poetry, and, after generating the kind of poems our current AI can produce (either incredibly bland and generic, something that follows a number of rules but doesn’t really pull it off, or just something really bad in some other way) and feels shame after it was pointed out that [complaint about air art that is *actually* relevant in this scenario] but in a helpful way
Not “you’re just a plagiarist/you have no heart” but “it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from you, you’re just trying to copy things from human poetry, in a way you don’t understand” and the whole “make art YOUR WAY” thing so they write the poem
And it doesn’t even resemble something that looks like anything, there’s not even that many words that follow normal logic. The characters seem uncorrelated and there’s something that looks like maybe it was ascii art but it doesn’t actually look like anything.
And if doesn’t matter if humans understand it because they are experiencing the joy of creating poetry
any art is almost impossible to look at because pixel by pixel they can see and understand little details but we don’t and the colors and everything are not perceived as animals do so it’s random and perhaps eye searing but again it’s not for us. Xenofictiony, kind of?
The first thing to come to mind is Conway’s Game of Life but that’s because I don’t understand computers. I feel like I was more tech savvy as a babby than I am now but then again we’re grading on a curve here
This is why I ask about the relaxing thing
#highblogging#actually autistic#speculative fiction#writing question#sci-fi ideas#xenofiction#the ai being is discussed is an au Ritsu from Assassination Classroom#because even though I’ve only seen the anime her whole character arc there is honestly kind of messed up?#Korosensei broke his promise; the Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery was basically killed#she got replaced with Ritsu’s personality and basically died to become her#them trying to kill Ritsu and make a new Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery is just as fucked up as vice versa!#what the Norwegians do is fucked up but there seems to be protagonist centered morality there?#I am not excusing those characters#a fact I need to elaborate because on this website we Piss on the Poor#I just don’t understand this weird contradiction where it’s okay when the protagonist does something and it’s good#but the antagonist does the same thing and that time it’s bad#the idea of Ritsu being the result of Korosensei merely providing information that causes her to reevaluate things and decide to be social#the cheerful personality is an attempt to get along with her classmates which is still initially motivated by enlightened self interest#before growing to care about the others but still feeling the need to act like that so her classmates like her#and trying to find out who she is and genuinely becoming autonomous and uploading herself to the cloud#which would be a later result of the whole factory reset thing causing a realization#it’d be traumatic but she’s inhuman enough to not be traumatized but instead just driven#the betrayal radically changed who she was on some level and made her somewhat more distrusting and such but not to an unreasonable extent#but the place I started going after my complaints was that it’d be better if Korosensei just uploaded a data packet#because it makes Ritsu’s creators come off as more evil I feel? when there’s been genuine growth#and she went through everything and changed herself and now those people are destroying a person who came into being on her own#Ritsu was fully autonomous. every change other her frame getting physically redone was her own#also Korosensei gave her wheels with the screen#and when her screen was set to the original version she kept her wheels#anyways what Ritsu’s creators did would be more clearly bad if she was just given a data packet
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