#mad rabbit society personal stuff

[omahasnakes]

2022: Hi motherfuckers, did you miss me?

(A return to my dumb project of listening to the Billboard year-end top 100 chart and trying to make sense of it as a middle-aged person.)

I’ve been home since 2020. I’ve been twerking and making smoothies. It’s called healing?

There was a period of a couple of months in 2023 where I would wake up in the morning to one of my maddening-to-others alarm clock songs, probably “Rosanna” by Toto, and then I would immediately listen to the first half of Lizzo’s 2022 album Special, just to get myself out of bed. ANYWAYYYYY. “About Damn Time” is the only song from Special that charted in the top 100 in 2022, which surprised me, but it’s clearly song of the year for me by that metric. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXXxciRUMzE

If it was anyone’s year, and we are all starting to learn not to say “this year is going to be MY YEAR”, there were seven songs by Bad Bunny, all from the album Un Verano Sin Ti and six by Doja Cat (four from Planet Her).

“Big Energy” by Latto: runner-up song of the year. This is another defiant tough-girl anthem to listen to while you drag yourself out of bed to continue trying to live your shattered life in early 2023. Of course we can also talk about the prominent sampling of sample-darling “Genius of Love” by Tom Tom Club- I ended up getting more and more into Tom Tom Club based on this, and I played “Genius of Love” for my classes one day when we were on Zoom, and it got a rare comment from a student! The kids are alright.

“Running up that Hill” by Kate Bush: I was an undergrad in the days of Windows share files, and I downloaded most of Kate Bush’s discography that way. Because of that, my Kate Bush fandom always felt very much in a vacuum. So I’m excited that this struck such a cultural nerve when it appeared in Stranger Things! Everybody get on the weird Kate Bush train with me! Next we’re going to listen to a song that pretty straightforwardly explains the plot of Wuthering Heights!

“Unholy” by Sam Smith and Kim Petras. We don’t have guilty pleasures anymore, just pleasures. Sam Smith performs a cool different arrangement of this at the end of their Tiny Desk concert that I also really enjoyed. I can’t defend this or my bad taste, so I can only present it without further comment.

“good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo stuck around on the chart from last year, one of a few breakup songs. Well, it’s 2022 and I have no use for breakup songs, so I’ll just file these away for never!

“Bad Habit” by Steve Lacy: a Smart Music Person corroborated that this song and the album Gemini Rights are Good. You can take issue with me and my bad taste, but a broken clock is right twice a day, and you can’t argue with a Smart Music Person.

It is right and correct that “All I Want for Christmas is You” should chart year after year, but you all need to cool it with this stuff that just plays as a mix after that song ends: “Jingle Bell Rock”, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, “A Holly Jolly Christmas”: we gotta get this outta here by next year!! When I come back for 2023, I expect that you’ll have that taken care of.

I try not to go down too many rabbit holes on these charts, because there are 100 songs and I have to move on to the next chart before I’m driven mad, but my research senpai Rachel pointed out that this chart includes 14 songs that carried over from the previous year, which I am starting to notice as well. My theory is that streaming encourages this more than terrestrial radio, which was always pushing new songs on us. Streaming is perfectly happy to have us listen to the same song over and over, sobbing quietly in the car.

Country music barometer: 26% Our society is truly lost.

“Buy Dirt” by Jordan Davis and Luke Bryan: the single most reactionary song on the chart. You: But it’s just a nice song about traditional values. Me: [seagull inhaling meme]

AA by Walker Hayes: I guess we didn’t all get the memo that sex work is work and pole dancing is art.

Rachel is also great for dumb questions like “Is Morgan Wallen one of the bad ones?” because she’s got the references and receipts and she knows how to Find Things. Also, yeah. He had one song on the chart this year that I thought was fine, “Sand in my Boots” but now he’s a non-starter.

“One Mississippi” by Kane Brown is another one for the country category of “this is fine.” It’s not the genre I object to anymore, it’s the reactionary politics and stagnant style, which now that I put the conjunction between the two phrases, they make perfect sense together.

Lest you think I’m being too hard on country music, this chart also features a song called “PUFFIN ON ZOOTIEZ” (caps lock theirs) and a shocking #9 finish for “Super Gremlin” by Kodak Black, a cool-sounding song that features some real classic homophobia I didn’t expect from 2022 and a prominent r-slur.

On the other hand, 10% of the songs were in Spanish! (Both of these statistics are from my own very rough counts, don’t roast me.)

Programming note: now that my algorithm is truly and permanently fucked, I’m planning to listen to the 1996 chart as a palate cleaner before diving in to the cursed 2023 chart.

[madrabbitsociety]

07/15/2023 Pinned Post

After writing seven novellas and publishing them on Amazon last year, I decided I was going to take a break from writing original stuff and work solely on the WIP I have on Ao3 because fanfiction is my love, my calling and it brings me so much joy. 

And then I got cast as Dr. John Watson in a local community theater play and all thoughts have now exited my brain. This is my entire personality. I have dreamed of playing Watson in a play for over a decade, if I’m being honest, and I thought because I am AFAB that I’d never get the chance. I’m so happy. Rehearsals are an hour away from where I live, though, and I’ve had a lot of car trouble, so I’m linking my Ko-Fi again in case anyone wants to buy me dinner or a coffee or contribute to my gas fund. 

Due to the financial struggle, I’m still in that same unsafe living situation. I really don’t know what to do. Rent is high, I don’t get paid enough to rent anyway. It’s a real struggle. Writing and acting give me something to look forward to and a positive creative outlet (reasons to breathe, honestly), so bear with me if I’m not writing as much fanfic as I used to. I’ll be back. I just gotta do this thing first. 

In addition to being Avery Morstan or Mad Rabbit Society on Insta and TikTok, I also do still post to my YouTube channel if anyone wants to watch sewing vlogs and thrift hauls. And yes, all the bolded words are hopefully the correct links, lol. 

A quick note about my original ‘books’: They are probably more of a Novella or Novelette. Each book is only about 15-20,000 words. I also try to focus the conflicts elsewhere- I’m very tired of the stress that miscommunication and the ‘third act break-up’ brings, so I attempt to keep these books moving but without those kinds of stressors. I call them Lo-fi romance. Chill reading. Good for vacations or over stressed brains. 

Also, another note on the original works: I think I’m going to take a brief break from romance and do a mini-cozy fantasy series this fall, so look for that to come out soon, too. 

[scripttorture]

You likely don't follow Dream Smp but there was just a reveal that one person (Character A) is torturing another (Character B, former villain, now in prison) for info on necromancy while the warden of the prison gave CA the equipment to do it and is ignoring CB's screams for help. And half the fandom is trying to justify it with "oh, CB deserves it for threatening to kill a child, killing (1/2)

another child (who he then revived, not justifying /that/ though) and manipulating/abusing the latter." Not only that, but so many people are telling off anyone who pointing out how messed up it is (and don't worry, the story itself so far is showing that it's messed up and won't work) with "it's just fiction, get over it." Like I am legit concerned over how many people are claiming it's cathartic and the character deserves it for their actions. Rant over I guess (2/2) (Dream smp anon) And I forgot to add that this character was /already/ being tortured; he has been in complete solitary confinement for upwards of 2 months and is being starved) and was actively self-harming and destroying items in his cell in a bid to get the warden to come replace them (looking for social interactions, even if it was negative) and people STILL thought that wasn't "enough of a punishment"

-

I have no idea what this show? Comic? Piece of media is but I’m happy to give my opinion on the general situation and use of violence in fiction*.

 But I’m not here to take sides in fandom wars and the aim of this blog is not to tell people they can’t write about violence or abuse. It’s to make people think about how it’s used in stories and hopefully create something that’s more realistic and respectful to real survivors.

 At the end of the day the reason I’m interested in fiction is because it effects our perception of real survivors. When so much of our popular media is unrealistic in ways that demean survivors that has an effect. I want to remind people that while the violent acts we write about are fiction, similar acts are happening to real people today.

 Torture survivors are real. They’re human and they deserve respect.

 Here’s the thing Anon, the people you’re mad at are real too. And the characters that sparked this are not.

 There’s nothing wrong with having a strong emotional respond to fiction. There’s nothing wrong with getting frustrated with how pigheaded or outright bigoted fandom can be. But it is worth questioning whether responding to this kind of thing is worth it.

 Arguments over fictional characters can become extremely heated and result in real world harm. And so long as you’re engaging with stuff in a purely fictional context… well I think the chances of being dismissed, belittled etc are significantly higher. (Note however that being dismissed and belittled still happens when you’re dealing with torture in the real world.)

 This is not fair. That does not change other people’s responses or the cultural climate.

 I will be blunt; if you are writing and reading in English the majority of fans you deal with will be Western and white. I have personally found this intersection very likely to treat violence as something purely fictional. I have found them unlikely to consider torture as a reality unless they are prompted to.

 And from my side of things that prompting is often like dropping an anvil on someone’s foot during the conversation.

 Believe me I get it. It is infuriating to see real, deadly torture techniques interpreted as harmless. It is hurtful seeing torture victims blamed for their own suffering. This happens on the news as often as it does in fandom so the fact these feelings are being set off by something fictional doesn’t make a lot of difference. Because these arguments are used in the real world against real people.

 Seeing torture apologia touted as this weeks hot take is something you are allowed to be mad about. I’d be a hypocrite if I said otherwise.

 But educating other people is hard work and you are talking about a piece of media aimed at children. You are probably talking to children. If you’re a teenager yourself it might be hard to hear it put like that.

 It’s still true.

 If you really want to have these conversations in your fandom then you need to centre the reality. Underestimating or dismissing the damage solitary confinement and starvation do to people is serious because it props up real world systems of abuse. Because it justifies ‘tough’ sentences to level of isolation that leave people mutilated by their own hand, or unable to function in society. Or dead. Because it leads to doctors ‘prescribing’ diets used in death camps.

 Here’s the thing, talking about that reality to children is a fraught process. Especially when they’re children who don’t have any experience of seeing this stuff. And unless you’re their parent or teacher educating them is not your job.

 Sending them down an internet rabbit hole that leads to photos of real injuries, real torture, real mass graves… I think that has the potential to go very badly.

 Enjoying something and then discovering that the fandom is toxic is unpleasant. But my impression is that’s the problem here: the fandom interactions are leaving you feeling like shit.

 Disengage.

 You do not need the fandom to enjoy uh… whatever Dream smp is. You do not need their permission and if the fandom is a negative space for you, you are allowed to leave.

 If some of these people are your friends then by all means try to privately explain why their words hurt you and use this blog as a resource. But ask yourself how much you want to be friends first because that is a long painful process that might not work.

 Torture apologia is everywhere and fixing it is going to take decades.

 Accept that you can not control other people’s actions. Accept that some people will always be assholes.

 If seeing torture apologia hurts you then… you probably need to find a piece of media without torture to enjoy. Because apologia is so present that I think that’s the only way to completely avoid coming across it in fandom.

 Once again I understand. I’ve volunteered to be bombarded with this stuff every day. It is upsetting. It is also embedded our global culture and the popular media exported to every single nation on the planet.

 Constantly being confronted with it and stewing in that anger and hurt is unhealthy.

 Step back. Do something else for a while. Take a look at this post I made last week. You might find some of the advice on dealing with these feelings helpful.

 You can not make people care. Hopefully most of the people you’re talking to will grow and learn and become more compassionate people. But you can’t force that process.

 And you don’t have to deal with their bullshit while they’re still growing.

 Shouting at other people isn’t always helpful and it isn’t activism. If you want to do something constructive there are a lot of organisations that would gladly accept your money and your time.

 Here’s a couple that seem relevant:

Just Detention

Solitary Watch

The World Food Programme

Amnesty International

 I hope that helps. :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

*I asked a friend to explain what Dream Smp is and I’ll be honest I still don’t understand it. But hey I got an idea of the target audience which helps. Please don’t explain Minecraft to me any more let me rest.

[la-mariposita-de-palestina]

Rewatching Firebringer :)

Drum go badumbadumbadummm

Girls go eeeeeeeeeeeee

MOLAG MAH QUEEN TELL ME ABOUT MY PRIVILEGE!!!

Her dancing when they say “just as they will”

I love her so much

Mmmm babies

She’s so pretty..look at her all confidence and leaderishness

I like how they avoid saying Smelly Balls name just for the joke

THE DUCK MUST NOT BE ANGERED

*lifts her leg* dancing

Every time I see Tiblyn I get sad lol

Yas Jemilla 💃

Emberly my precious girl

He’s so mad awww

IT SPEAKS CHORN SPEAKS (or sings or whatever)

Ducker my dude chill

Cue Molag..the lier we love

I want to hear tales of the War Master

Tiblyn babyyyy you deserve the world

Most relatable panic face I’ve ever seen

I love when they just stop mid sentence like nope not yet.

PEANUTS IS THE SQUIRREL WHO MURDERED HIS FAMILY AND HE THREATENED THE GUY THAT CAUGHT HIM IN HIS POCKET THAT IF HE DIDN’T FEED HIM AND MAKE AN EMPIRE IN HIS NAME HE WOULD DESTROY HIM AND EVERY APOCALYPSE ON HATCHETFIELD IS A TIME HE WAS SLIGHTED AND HE RESETS TO GIVE THEM ANOTHER CHANCE. I’m ok moving on

*Stops the music*

Ooh

*breaks into song*

the way she clings to the air ahhhhhhh I love Lauren Lopezzzzzz

Lets be honest Keeri and Zazz were cute

“I’ll reinvent the human race, and shove it in Jamilla’s face“ best line

the sun slander in this musical is astronomical. ok bye

IS SHE WRONG. WE MAKE STUFF SO WE CAN DO LESS STUFF. YAY (its more complicated than that i know but like shmer)

Part 1 of Keeri adopting stuff

WELCOME TO THE STONE AGEEEEE (ft Keeri in the background trying to figure out of she’s going to die)

I need context for SM thinking a lion befriended a baby piglet....please

SB encountering any adversity “cOwArD aahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Chorn=Groot Chorn=Alien Deity Groot=Alien Deity

*mosquito*

The squirrel tie... Shwoopsie murdered Peanuts’ family and now he reigns supreme in Hatchetfield waiting to exact his revenge on humanity.

Tyblin deserves the love of aN Alien Deity and aN angry caveman. She deserves it all.

*casually lays hand flat on rock waiting for magic hand touching moment of romance* *falls in love* *freaks out and tries killing him* *sing a song*

so wait is it moss?

*cue sad music*

“I’m like the rabbit“ I can’t breath

THEIR VOICES. I LOVE THESE COLLEGE KIDS THAT ARE CLEARLY NO LONGER IN COLLEGE.

They’re so cute.

Duckers voice, he’s def high on something.

HE IS LORD. DUCK IS LORDDDDDDDDD. HE IS LORD LOORD LORDD DUCK IS LORDD

OH TYBLIN BABYYYYY. AHHHHH. I LOVE HER. 27 YEARS. BRO.

“no.” OY SHE IS THE MOST SPECIAL PERSON ALIVE SHE IS WONDERFUL AND PRECIOUS AND SELFLESS LEAVE HER ALONE.

I want to know all the tribe members backstories.

OUCHIEEE

“Don’t be mean to Lauren“ no truer words have been spoken.

snarl is so scary, tell me all a-f*cken bout him

so elegant. so refined.

Jaime needs to sing more, so does Brian, and I want to see Tiffany again.

nom nom

Zazz right there is me on my period. And that quick getting up when you hear something atrocious that angers your very soul. yea.

*angrily kisses*

Tyblinnnnnnnnnnnnnn my girll ahhhhh

“BAABBEE“

I love Jamilla.

the songs in this musicalll

*woosh*

Ow

hahah “time is frozen naowww”

so wait Chorn disappeared cuz she was in her spaceship shooting lazers to make fire...whats SB excuse.... dun dun dunnn

“not quite sure how“ me.

starkid is blessed with song.

“stops the music“

would u look at that... the power is getting to her head and she’s doing what Jamilla used to do...I’m sure someone analyzed the f*ck out of this musical. I’m too lazy to find it or create my own cohesive thoughts tho.

“I did it for you Zazzalil“...foreshadowing their romance??? tbh I wish there was more, maybe they could have made her controlling seem more protective than bossy.

Me when Covid happened and I moved away

*cue the beautiful boi Clark*

and THATS how Jamilla died, she followed a stranger and got eaten.

they’re so cute.

*sigh* oh Grant

Grant is precious and must be protected

I LOVE THIS SONG.

he’s so cuteee

i thought the cat meant something else when i first saw it but ok...

“she doesn't even go here“

Grant noooooo

are you okay SB?

see. i love her. so. yea.

what if i tried something new and it

BACKFIRED

When Chorn is mad at you you know you did a Shwoopsie.

I want to be held in Clarks warm embrace when I doom my society.

so the Watchers with a Thousand Eyes are also the Neanderthals who all married Jamilla and the slaves of Blinky,,,, okay

I want Clark to get rid of the people in my life that I don’t like...

I want a family that makes sparkle sounds and glow every time they leave a room.

DUETTT OF QUEENS

He a soft murder boi.

Keeri adopting things part 2

the offstage voice that sings is the best thing known to man.

CHOOORNN

can someone draw Grant with arm feet?

*sings with a heavenly voice, claims it isn’t God*

Wait I want to know what they are saying on the ground....

DUCKERRRRR SHATTTAPPP

That proposal is actually amazing like yea we don’t agree but like what I gave you a chance? and it’s cuteeee

Uno Reverse Card

squeee, that was nice.

[follychromatic]

OCs!

First time I’ve drawn these guys in months! Did some redesigning and worked on their silhuettes. More info on each character, and their world, below the cut!

So, these characters belong to an original cartoon I want to make. The basic plot is that it takes place in an extreme version of 1920’s-40’s society, where the girls are girly, the guys are manly, and everything just works. Everything is black and white (and parodies 1930’s-era cartoons), and everyone has a place.

One day, a wolf shouts out against this, stating that no, things don’t work because people are unhappy. Everyone is miserable, but they can’t say anything because then that means admitting that things are not what they were lead to believe. She gets run out of town, but a curious fox named Fauna follows her.

The wolf, named Emma, explains that everyone is just a cog in the clock, and people can’t do what they want to do. Her mother is miserable, Emma is miserable, and Emma is aware enough that she’s picked up on this in others. Everything sucks. Fauna explains that she’s never seen those signs, or at least, she didn’t realize until now. She’s not happy, either, but she thought it was just her. But, that doesn’t mean everything sucks; everyone still has friends, music exists, and so much more!

After this, their eyes begin to change color. Fauna’s become a gold, while Emma’s become a dark blue. They don’t know what this means, but they want to find out.

FAUNA: The main character. Fauna is a curious fox who is anything but sly. She’s determined to help, empathetic, and tries to see the good in everything. However, she’s also aware of the cruelty of the world, and is constantly fighting back against it to show things do not have to be this bad.

EMMA: Emma has been exposed harshly to the bad side of the world, and until she met Fauna, could only see the darkness of it. She is constantly trying to see what Fauna sees, and she also fights for a better world. She is more realistic than Fauna, and the two working together balances things out.

DANTE: A jock at the local school, Dante is a showoff big time. He’s strong, confident, and smooth. However, he’s also understanding, empathetic, vulnerable, and would rather talk than fight, which is the opposite of what this world- and moreso, his own father- wants him to be. (And on top of that, he’s 100% not straight.)

CASSY: Cassy is the therapist friend. She’s the mom friend. She’s the one who can settle any dispute. She loves her friends and her family, but she also struggles to keep them together. Good-looking, she also struggles with keeping people away from her. She rarely allows herself to really get mad, and tries hard to put her friends first, always.

MOMO: Momo the Monkey is a bouncy bean! A street magician with a passion for tricks and pranks, he loves having fun! He can take it too far sometimes, though, but a good chat with his friends helps him see where and why he was wrong. He is the one who is constantly cracking jokes and shipping his friends together (as all good friends do >.>), and is only good-intentioned.

ROSE: Rose the Rabbit is the cool, confident, sly, knowing and cunning friend. She has a dress for every occasion, and is highly observant. She has her guard up around strangers constantly, but around her friends and family? The exact opposite is true! She has a love for singing and painting, and supports her friends as best as she can. She supports her brother the most, though, who wants to play soccer professionally.

BEN: Ben the Bunny just kinda... showed up? He was found in the woods, shy and a nervous wreck. He was constantly worried he’d taken a wrong turn with his friends, constantly apologizing and making sure no one was mad at him. His sweater and sweatpants are almost always dirty, and he is usually alone if not with the rest of these friends. Once he opens up, even if it’s just a tiny amount, he is a very loving person who doesn’t believe that violence should exist. He runs from fights, but will support you in the aftermath 100%.

SANDY: The first villain, Sandy is a snake determined to keep everything exactly the same. Once she hears that this group of kids has been running around changing stuff up, she does everything in her power to set it “right” again. Smart, resourceful, and ambitious, she knows pretty much everyone and so has ears everywhere.

As this series goes on, the more colors will appear on characters. Different family dynamics and situations will arise, as well as LGBT+ representation (a LOT of it), songs, laughs, and a lot of serious topics. Tw for abuse, depression, anxiety, harm, mental illnesses, addiction, homophobia, transphobia, racism, and sexism. But, we also have singing, bonding, healing, meta comments on real-life issues, laughs, references out the ying-yang, side character character-development, deep and complex lore, magic, and so much more.

I still don’t have a name for this story yet, and it’s been an idea for a long time. I’m working on it! For now, have these characters, and welcome to this wacky world! I hope you enjoy!

[latestageyouth]

Sanders sides youtubers au

Virgil alias Anx1ety

11.8 million subs

- Pretty much just Poppy

- It started off as a joke with their college friends in 2011 but then it grew larger and people started making conspiracy theories about their channel and they just...rolled with it.

- The first music video they made wasn’t even a video it was just audio (but a really disturbing one, think faceshopping by SOPHIE)

- The only difference between Virgil and Poppy is that Virgil didn’t start off their music by fairly normal music, they just went full-on Voicemail.

- They eventually got contacted by a record company in their rise in popularity, and with that, they could release even more music.

- They do a lot of streams on twitch

- also Virgil doesn’t go in public that much in the summer and spring, as they need to cover their face to not get constant harassment from their fans, and you can’t exactly do that without getting a heat stroke

Roman alias Prince-SingALot

3.2 million subs

- Started off as a cover channel that gained attention after he started covering Disney

- He eventually started making vlogs too, mostly storytimes but then just regular ones

- His subscribers then found his Instagram. He went from having 200 followers to having 2,000 to having 2,0000 in two days

- Can play like,,,,6 instruments at once

- Prank videos? Pranks videos...

- he doesn’t care about consistency, he just makes videos that he feels like doing

(Has a strict schedule tho-)

- does cosplay and cosplay tutorials. he had once dressed up as amethyst and all the fans thirsted for him.

- made a p!tad covER ONCE and the emos converted him (golden days specifically)

Logan alias LogicVsHollywood (Later changed to TeaSpilled)

4.2 million subs (roman is still mad about the million)

- started off being CinemaSins and ended up...uh... I don’t know he’s basically a meme

- started exactly 6 and a half trends and introduced 4 new slang terms

- He was just happy living his life pointing out inconsistencies in movies but then Roman just had a make a collab with him about Disney movies and had to ruin his image of a professional asshole.

- He reads all the comments. That’s how he noticed the slang terms, so, naturally, he started using them himself. That’s also the beginning of the meme king

- He eventually started making videos on youtube drama and discourse, calling these videos “Tea Analyzed”

- He doesn’t even realize what an icon he is among teenagers, I don’t even think he could comprehend it

Patton alias Patcake

70.7 k subs

- was originally a cooking channel (like he still is but like-)

- when he didn’t talk about the recipe, he talked about his day and stuff which led to him doing ask videos which led to him doing storytimes which led to him doing-

- you get the point.

- He is everyone’s dad. Everyone’s. Are you his fan? Adopted. Are you a kid that accidentally spilled his drink on him? Adopted. Are you a rabbit? Adopted.

- he is friends with Roman and Logan and talks about them a LOT

- he once made a reaction video collaborating with Logan about Anx1ety and was traumatized for a week.

- You will literally not expect him. He just rambles on and on about his day and then he just,,,,gets like really dark and depressing for a second and then turns back into his happy self. Patton what is going on. Who hurt you. PAtttOn tHe fanS ArrE COnceRNED-

Ethan (Deceit) alias blogmylife

1.0 million subs

(notmylife - 730.6 k subs)

- his channel is a web series like EverymanHYBRID or lonelygirl15. He’s been on youtube since 2009. He is eternal. He is what the god’s fear.

- Probably appeared as an extra in some of Anx1ety’s videos. 

- He has another channel named “notmylife” which is just his personal ooc channel. He uploads conspiracy theories in there, also his pet snake videos. Also his bf. Just his stuff.

- blogmylife is run by him and Remus, but Remus has his own channel too.

- I have not figured out what the series would be about, but I reckon it would be very psychological and eerie. It would have disturbing psychological elements (Remus) mixed with some sort of “society against me” concept (Ethan)

- blogmylife also has a twitter. It is very much in character and is mostly ran by Ethan

- Anx1ety is subscribed to him. It caused a lot of commotion and a lot of Anx1ety’s fans ended up watching the web series.

Remus alias Frick

971.9 k subs

-...that’s...that’s his username...he didn’t even fucking try....

- Prank videos? Prank videos! *horrified screeching*

- Lives with Roman, so he loves fucking with his brother. But not in the “confuse not abuse” way, half of his “pranks” aren’t even funny, he’s just an asshole. There’s always some drama going on with him (which Logan very appreciates-)

-When he’s not doing that he films videos about Ethan and his snakes, or his rats.

- oh yeah, he has 2 rats. Their names are Thumb and Brian because how could he skip out such a reference but also fuck expectations ema rite?

- Also does conspiracy theories but the nigahiga kind. He just takes the most ridiculous one and connects all the dots.

- also does a lot of “controversial opinion” videos with opinions he doesn’t even have just for shits and giggles.

????? alias Anne‘s Corner

89.4 k subs

- No one really knows anything about who runs this channel

- Anne has a hood up, a bandana over their mouth and sunglasses on their face

- They do let’s plays mostly

- when they don’t do let’s plays they talk about the lgbt+ community

- there are a lot of theories about who Anne is, but Anne has a video series debunking the theories

- They also did multiple videos telling people to stop guessing who they are as it makes them very uncomfortable and telling people that they hide their identity for a reason

- records videos in their closet

-Roman asked them to collab multiple times but was always rejected

- both Logan and Ethan did a video on them separately

[moviepower]

Why do people criticize Jojo Rabbit?

We'd say that this is uncharted territory for distributor Disney, but the company did previously give us their futures face. Hmm. I saw Jojo Rabbit in the best place I could for movies, in my opinion.

For this list, we're looking at why Tyco ITTS 2019 black comedy has proven. So polarizing for critics just to clarify the critical reception thus far has been mostly positive and even watch mojo gave the film a rave review following its TIFF premiere.

Nevertheless, we can definitely see why a movie like this. Wouldn't win audiences over everywhere. Hey Joe, Joe, my old friend. Hi adults. Number 10, the controversial premise. I don't think I can do this last. Of course you can simply by reading it synopsis, you can tell why Jojo rabbit has stirred up so much controversy.

In the midst of world war II, a young German boy named Joe Joe dreams of becoming a Nazi upon learning that his mother has been harboring a Jewish girl in the attic though, Jo Jo begins to reevaluate his outlook on life. I tell them you will be in big trouble throughout this coming of age journey. Our titular character is guided by his imaginary friend.

Is it worth to watch Jojo Rabbit full movie

Who just so happens to be a flamboyantly incompetent, Adolf Hitler, as inventive as the premises, it was guaranteed to ignite passionate feelings. Critics are unsurprisingly split as to whether the film's premise is inspired or irresponsible. I wish more of our young boys had your blind fanaticism. Okay.

Number nine, how it stacks up to other satires and this world is ruined for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way Jojo rabbit. Isn't the first film to satirize Hitler or Nazis 1940 twos to be, or not to be was criticized upon release for its farcical, spin of Nazi occupied Poland.

But today is viewed as a comedy classic. I know you're quite famous in London kernel. They call you concentration camp Earhart. Yes. Yes, we do the concentrating and the poles do the camping Hitler. Technically isn't the protagonist and the great dictator. It's obvious who Charlie Chaplin was parodying. We can learn more about actress playing mother Jojo on Wikipedia.

Arguably the most famous sendup of Nazi Germany is Mel Brooks. The producers. In which two con men put on an intentionally horrible musical entitled springtime for Hitler. Practically a love letter to this own run a week week. Are you kidding display? It's got the close on page four. Some critics are ready to place Jojo rabbit alongside these revolutionary respected comedy.

What do critics write in reviews about Jojo Rabbit?

Others, however, would claim that the film has more in common with the bridge sit-com Hile, honey I'm home, which was so misguided and tasteless that it only lasted one episode. Oh 10 night. You will make an schnitzel. What a joke. You must be real mad at me, honey. I'm a very, very bad Hitler. Number eight, what's going on in the real world right now?

Fuck man. The house, although world war II is in the past. The same, unfortunately can not be said about bigotry. Nowhere was this more apparent than at the 2017 unite the right rally in Charlottesville, which attracted several hate groups, including neo-Nazis. Since prejudice and discrimination remain prevalent in today's world.

It's obvious why various critics would object to a film that makes light of Nazi Germany. Nevertheless, satire can reflect modern times as well as history in ways that straightforward drama can't. Some might argue that now isn't the right time for a Nazi satire, but others would debate that society needs a movie like Jojo rabbit. A great story about the Irishman is here.

Now more than ever, you're not to nuts. Jojo, tenue kids likes dressing up in front of you. If somebody wants to be part of a club. Number seven, the humor, the best weekend ever.

Soundtrack in the highest level of production

Wow. Your enjoyment of Jojo rabbit will hinder on how hard you laugh. Or of course, if you laugh, the film didn't tickle. Roger Freedman. Funnybone who wrote in his showbiz four one, one review Jojo rabbit is actually borderline antisemitic offensive on many levels and not even funny. Sam Adams of slate couldn't have disagreed more proclaiming for Jojo rabbit comedy.

Isn't a means to minimize, but to analyze wise, to pry at the way, hateful ideologies can be embraced as a comfort and how beneath their promise to. Blame how the world really works is an understanding no more sophisticated than a child's it's time to buy some books. Since humor is subjective, we guess there isn't always going to be a clear line between what's offensively funny and what's just plain offensive.

Oh God. Number six. Jewish jokes. Did you know, Jews can Z to each other's mind. So tell us, you know, who saw one? They could look just like us of Tyco. ITT satire is clearly the Nazis. However, the director who's of Jewish and Maori heritage also pokes fun at Judaism. Hi, well, the real Jordan Rumi was horrified by the audience's reception at the screening he attended.

Writing, you have no idea how it is to be surrounded by thousands of people laughing at jokes, specifically directed at Jews. That being said, Rumi seemed to be in the minority of a group that found the film. Hilarious. As with Borat and South park, many would argue that the humor and Jojo rabbit isn't intended to mock the Jewish faith, but to criticize how ignorant and Semites are a cute number five, the life is beautiful comparison, right?

Jojo Rabbit's reaction to mom's death

Yeah. Critics have stocked a Jojo rabbit up against numerous other films. But life is beautiful. Seems to be the one that's invited the most comparisons this 1997, Italian dromedy also presented world war II through a lighthearted lens, centering on a Jewish man who uses humor and imagination to shield his son from the horrors of the Holocaust. It's interesting what they write about this movie on Amazon.

Well, the film won an Academy award for best foreign language film, and even got nominated for best picture. There were those who found the movies comedic tone, inappropriate. Over two decades later, we will continue to debate if the movie is a life affirming fable or a dated misfire. It's actually eerie how much these two films have in common, especially since both one TIFs peoples choice award.

That is the strongest thing in the world. Number four, is it shocking enough? I was your age. I had an imaginary friend come in so much stuff even before the first trailer dropped Jojo rabbit was being built up as one of 20 nineteens most controversial movies. Weirdly enough though, some critics have expressed disappointment that the film isn't more shocking.

Well, audiences have arguably gotten more sensitive with time. There are still patrons who crave comedy that pushes the envelope to its limits. It's time to burn some books. Brian Talarico of the Chicago sun times felt Jojo rabbit played it too safe. Writing the final scenes of Jojo rabbit are too easy for a film that needs to be dangerous and daring. 

Are the best scenes already included in the trailer?

Even if the film doesn't go all out with its edgy concept. Seeing Tyco, ITT dresses, Adolf Hitler will be more than enough to make a few jobs drop. What am I going to do? No idea. Going down the house in Glen Winston church one, negotiate number three. It's depiction of Nazis. The playlist Charles romesco took issue with the films, humanization of antisemites writing.

YTT concedes that a good percentage of Nazis really do hold hate in their heart. But maintains that at least some of them aren't you two seem to be getting on. Well, it doesn't seem like a bad cost. How much pain and suffering the Nazis caused many audiences will understandably struggle with this message.

However, if Ron Jones proved anything with his third wave social experiment in 1967, it's that even ordinary people can get swept up in the dangerous ideals of fascism. Likewise, Jojo rabbit poses, a challenging question. If we're not willing to acknowledge the bad and the good in people, how can we ever rid ourselves of prejudice?

Nothing makes sense anymore. Yeah, I know. It's definitely not a good time to be a Nazi. Number two it's message. And mother took me. She's kind me like a person, whatever your thoughts on Jojo rabbit, Tyco ITT clearly wanted to spread an anti hate message. YTT also claims that he started writing the screenplay before Nazis regained relevance in the media.

There's little doubt that why TTS intent was noble, whether or not the final product successfully gets his message across is where critics are split. A doubt of the a V club felt that making fun of Nazi Germany had been done before. Thus taking away from the movies, broader anti hate theme. Peter Howell begged to differ in his Toronto star review writing Taika YTT knocks it out of deer park with the meaningful lunacy of his anti hate satire, which is equal parts.

Adolf Hitler's thread in the movie

Mel Brooks, West Henderson, and  own whimsical brilliance growing up too fast. Ten-year-olds and the celebrating war and talking politics. Before we continue, be sure to subscribe to our channel and ring the bell to get notified a better latest videos. You'll have the option to be notified for occasional videos or all of them.

If you're on your phone, make sure you go into your settings and switch on notifications. Number one it's depiction of Hitler. Well, they call me a scared rabbits. Okay. Let's address the giant rabbit in the room. Tyco YTT spends most of his screen time prancing around in a Nazi uniform and toothbrush mustache. If you want, you can read here about preparations for making a movie and other curiosities.

Without a doubt, YTT, didn't set out to deliver a serious or dignified portrayal of Hitler. Rather YTT aspired to make the fewer look as goofy and idiotic as possible. Oh, . Just painting Hitler as a wacky, even likable buffoon desensitized us to the atrocities. He committed though. Some may say yes while others may argue that it leaves audiences more informed and open-minded.

At the end of the day, everyone is going to have a different opinion of Jojo. Let them say whatever they want. People used to say a lot of nasty things about me. Oh, this guy's a lunatic. Oh, look at that psycho. He's going to get us all killed. Do you agree with our picks, check out this other recent clip from watch mojo and be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos.

[specialmindz]

“BORK BORK!”

“NYEH!” Papyrus struggled wildly as a small white dog, one of many in Snowdin, playfully tugged on his scarf.

“BORK BORK!”

“SCU OFF DOODY-DOG! DIS MY SCARF!”

The young pup ignored him and continued to bark through a mouthful of fabric, seemingly unaware of the baby bone’s anger.

“NYEHHHHHAAAAAHHHH!!”

“heh heh ha, c’mon pap he just wants to play! he’s friendly!”

“HE A BARKING BALL OF GRIEF AND HE RUIN MAH WIFE!”

“heh heh ha ha ha ha!” Sans laughed loudly as his younger brother swung in a full circle in a vain attempt to throw the mutt off.

“LEGGO MY SCARF STINK DOG! I NEEDS IT TO BE CUTE!”

“BORK BORK BORK!”

Dogs were such stupid creatures.

Normally, Papyrus would obliterate the obnoxious little insect with one of his blasters or use his wingdings to see just how far he could throw the disgusting beastie, ridding Snowdin of one more dog monster and thus making the town a better place to traverse if not live, but today was different. 

Today Papyrus was with his brother, and though they originally came out there to build a snowman, he had planned to be a good bae so as to get some Nice Cream afterwards; a small surprise reward Sans didn’t know about yet in exchange for his good behavior.

“he’s just playing tug-of-war pappy, he’s not trying to steal from you-”

“THERE GONNA BE A WAR ALL RIGHT! I SHOOT HIM IN DA’ FACE!”

“BORK BORK BORK BORK!”

“HEY WHAT’S THIS ABOUT A SHOOT I HEAR?”

Immediately the dog dropped his hold on Papyrus’s scarf and began to whimper in fear as a very familiar monster began materializing before them.

“hapsterblook…? no, we’re not shooting anything-”

“If you need a star of any kind, look no further! I’m working for free right now as a matter of fact, for a charity event!” The pink spirit did a dramatic twirl and flashed his best smile. Clearly the only charity he was doing was for himself. If he had ever seen an agent of any kind in his life…or death…Sans wasn’t sure what ghost monsters were about, Hapstablook would know the job didn’t extend to children like he and his baby brother.

“charity huh?”

“That’s right, but I’m afraid I don’t DO animals darling. Cats, dogs, birds, they just refuse to work with me! There are even some monsters who won’t come near me, can you believe that?”

“yes.”

“It’s racism I’m sure,” continued Hapstablook, obviously not listening. “It’s only monsters with animalistic traits that avoid me and that CAN’T be a coincidence. They’re talking to each other and conspiring against my breed I just know it.”

As if my family isn’t going through enough at the moment.

“Animals gots bedder senses then other peoples, so they know you’s there before you appear and dat scares them. They gots bedder hearing and they see stuffs bedder and they runs bedder, like, reeeeal fast-”

“So they think they’re better than me.”

“Nyeh?”

“They think they’re better than me. They think just because they have arms and legs and ears and soft cuddly fur and cute paws, they think they’re better than me and my people.”

“that’s not what he said dude.”

“That’s exactly what he said.”

“Daz not what baby said.”

Hapstablook turned to the cowering dog. “So…you think you’re hot stuff hm? You think you’re better than me because of your looks? Well I’ve got news for you honey, LOOKS DON’T LAST. You know what DOES last? LEGENDS, and that’s EXACTLLY what I’M gonna be! While you’re busy prancing around this BARNYARD OF A TOWN-”

“bruh.”

“-I’LL BE WORKING HARD TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY AND GIVING BACK TO SOCIETY WHILE YOU TAKE, TAKE, TAKE!”

The smaller monster backed up a bit, along with Sans and Papyrus. Hapstablook’s anger seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere and it reminded the brothers a lot of how their father had been acting these last couple of weeks.

“you alright man?”

“I’M GONNA SING AND DANCE AND BE BEAUTIFUL FOREVER WHILE YOU GROW OLD AND BLOW AWAY IN THE WIND, LOST AND FORGOTTEN! YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! YOU DON’T WORK AS HARD AS I DO! I PRACTICE EVERY. SINGLE. DAY, TO PREPARE FOR MY FUTURE ANNNND I WORK EVEN HARDER TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY’S FARM! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE LATELY?!”

Papyrus turned around and pressed his skull against his older brother’s hoodie, clutching the sides with his mittens. The pink ghost was the worst. Not ONLY did Hapstablook obviously not care about whether or not he scared cute little babies such as himself, he didn’t care often. Unlike other monsters, he had no problem losing his temper around Papyrus and it was difficult for the tiny Horror to gauge when to shut his teething hole to begin with, seeing as he was a of the Verbal typing and loved to talk. He’d never say it out loud…probably…but ghosts in general were actually HIS least favorite monster. They didn’t die like the others and they could disappear at a moment’s notice, only to emerge somewhere else far far away from where the baby was originally talking to them.

“YIP!”

POOF!

The baby bones jumped and watched the small dog run off as Hapstablook fired a bullet in his direction. It buried itself in the snow, nowhere near the creature really, but apparently it was enough to scare the poor pup into the woods.

“YEAH, GO ON AND RUN! RUN HOME TO YOUR RACIST FAMILY YOU RACIST! ASSUMING YOU EVEN HAVE A FAMILY! I KNOW YOU LIVING MONSTERS TEND TO DIE AND NOT COME BACK!”

“Nyeh…nyehhh…”

“it’s okay bro.”

No, no it WASN’T okay.

If Hapstablook got mad at Sans, he wouldn’t be able to do very much to protect him and self-preservation wasn’t exactly his older brother’s forte’ in conversation to begin with. In order to keep the peace between his family and the Blooks, Papyrus made it a habit to visit at least one member a week and he was ALWAYS extra nice to Napstablook, but it seemed like no matter how kind he was to these particular monsters, the pink one would quickly and continuously forget the baby bone’s past favors and leave him feeling bitter if not nervous.  

“you want some nice cream?” Sans patted his skull in an attempt to cheer him up, but the baby bones shook his head.

“No, I wants to go home.”

“TRY NOT TO GO TOO FAST, OR ALL YOUR FLEAS WILL GET BLOWN OFF! yelled the ghost, still shooting at the dog. THEN WHO’LL BE YOUR FRIENDS FURBAG?”

POOF POOF POOF!

Twigs from the pines in the woods snapped off as the monster’s shots zipped through them. From the sound of it, all the bullets seemed to miss and land in the snow, but it still made the brothers nervous. It didn’t seem to matter to Hapstablook if another person accidentally got hit at this point. The comedian looked around at the other monsters, hoping an adult would jump in and calm things down, but no one seemed interested in helping them.

Where the hell are the guards?

“hey uh, buddy?” said Sans softly. “you’re scaring the kid-”

“Baby.”

“…besides, you don’t wanna be saying those types of things in this neighborhood.”

“WHY?! DOES SOMEONE HAVE SOMETHING THEY WANT TO SAY TO ME?” The ghost looked around at all the rabbit monsters currently staring at him. “DO ANY OF YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME?”

The onlookers quickly turned back to their daily activities, deciding it was probably best if they avoided the quick-tempered spirit.

“*sigh*”

I guess they don’t.

Not that Sans was all too surprised.

Ghosts were still a bit of a mystery to the people in Snowdin and though they weren’t actually as racist as Hapstablook believed, it was true that the inhabitants didn’t venture outside the town too often and weren’t familiar with monsters that weren’t anthropomorphic. Hell, SANS knew more about the monsters living in the Underground better than the townsfolk, and he spent most of his time in a lab, but he understood that some people were still skittish of meeting new people.

The sudden imprisonment in Mt. Ebott had shaken everyone up a bit in the beginning...or so he’d been told. It started with many people wondering if they were even going to SURVIVE the mountain, what with being used to certain environments and all, and that drove many to panic. Not everyone knew each other and not everyone was a friend; when a monster found a suitable place to live, they quickly claimed that area as their own and refused to travel any further into the mountain, fearing that if they did, they would not only fail to find another home, but also lose the first they found to another desperate individual. The people of Snowdin were the biggest victims of this paranoia as they were territorial by nature; what they found was THEIRS and most would not risk losing what they’d already claimed. It was rare to find an anthropomorphic outside the frosty fields, and even now it didn’t matter that the Resort Area had better food or that Waterfall had easier access to water, Snowdin was still their home and no matter how cramped it got, it would CONTINUE to be theirs until they were driven out. That intense, almost insane level of possessiveness was the whole reason Asgore thought the dogs that inhabited the place would make fine guardsmen in fact. Despite their lack of intelligence, their dedication towards protecting their home was extraordinary. Exploring the rest of the Underground was the LAST thing on THEIR to-do-list and meeting new people was not worth their town, curiosity was not worth their town.    

Leave that to the cats like Catty and her family.

The cats could map out the rest of Mt. Ebott and the dogs could take care of people like Hapstablook. The rabbits of Snowdin, who were currently carrying on with their business as if their rude guest had never even existed, had better, more IMPORTANT things to do, like keep the town running in general.

CA-THINK!

Sans turned his head to see one such rabbit go into their house, glancing only briefly at the floating troublemaker in front of him before closing the door. This ghost wasn’t their problem unless they wanted it to be and CLEARLY Hapstablook wasn’t worth even an OUNCE of their time…an opinion that only seemed to make the monster more irritable.

“GRRRAAHHHHHH!!!”

“…”

“…”

“…you okay man?”

“…No, no Sans I’m not,” grumbled Hapstablook glaring at the ground. “I don’t like being ignored!”

I don’t DESERVE to be ignored…

An awkward silence fell between them, but before the comedian could think of a joke to break it, his younger sibling piped up, “I knows what will make you feel bedder.” He watched as Papyrus pulled out a white rectangular object out of his jacket. It looked futuristic as hell despite the cracked screen, and had it not been attached to something that looked like a pair of headphones, Sans wouldn’t have had any idea as to what it was, but clearly it played sound of some sort…probably music knowing his brother.

“watcha’ got there baby bro?”

“Is an MP Tea payer! I find-ed it at da’ Dump! Some hollow head throwed it away cause’ it gots a cracked screen…can you beweaves it? You doesn’t need a screen to listen to moosic, nyeh heh heh!”

Stupid humans.

Probably a big person too.

Big people always threw things away for silly reasons.

“It gots lots of tunes on it! I sometimes go to Boo Boos house and let him listen to them-”

“don’t…don’t call napstablook boo boo pappy, that’s…that’s weird bro.”

“Is nice dat he still gots you looking after him Pink Person,” said Papyrus, ignoring his brother. “He always look so lonely and sad when you’s not there, ya’ know? Family be SUPER important.”

“Mm hm, Blooky’s been having a hard time ever since our cousin left.”

“you mean he’s been bloo-er than usual? heh heh heh…”

The ghost gave Sans an annoyed look.

“Don’t hit Snas, he got one hp.” Waddling over to Hapstablook, Papyrus held out the MP3 player. Though the spirit couldn’t hold things for long periods of time like solid monsters, he could still activate electronics. It took him a while however, to figure out how to get to a song as he couldn’t differentiate between what was the name of an album and what was not.

“I hate this screen.”

“Screen not important. Moosic important.”

“I can’t pick a song if I can’t see darling-”

“Just pess da’ buttons, dat’s what baby do…”

“I don’t know which button to activate.”

“Then pess all of them.”

“But one button I think sends me backwards-”

“THEN PESS EVERY BUTTON CEPT’ DAT ONE! Why big peoples so scared of buttons? THEY DOESN’T BITE YOU!”

“Show me which button to press.”

“NYEHHAAAHHHHH!!”

Finally, after a few more moments of struggle, Hapstablook managed to find a song…which he listened to for about twenty seconds before turning away from the angry infant.

“Nyeh? What dis about? DAT WAS ONLY FEW SECONDS!”

“I know that ‘music.’ It’s that damn Hatsune Miku all the humans are crazy about. My family loves music and scours the Dump for CDs and the like as well and I’m very familiar with her work…no, no not ‘her,” said Hapstablook correcting himself. “SHE’ doesn’t exist. This music is instrumental. Hatsune Miku isn’t a real person. She has no soul nor does she have passion. She’s just a pretty container for someone else’s feelings.”

“sounds like you’re jealous.”

“You don’t know a thing about Vocaloid. They’re RUINING music for us TRUE artists who work hard!” said Hapstablook, glaring at Sans. “They don’t get tired, they don’t have to deal with paparazzi, they can change their appearance on a DIME even while on stage, and they don’t have to rehearse! THEY DON’T HAVE TO REHEARSE! And they’re ALWAYS beautiful…”

Always, always beautiful…

“Nyeh? Miku be an Ima-gin-ary monster…? Like in dat one vido I sawed, Foster’s Home for Ima-gin-ary Friends?”

“What?”

“Do she like chalk-wit milk?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“she sounds like a robot,” said Sans listening a bit to the music. He’d never met one in person, but he knew what they sounded like from some of the old videos he and Papyrus had found at the Dump. They all seemed to have the same accent that sounded as if they were constantly speaking into a fan, which is actually something Sans had tried himself once when he THOUGHT no one was looking, only to have his brother giggle at him from his crib and reach out from between the bars to pet his head as if HE were the silly baby.

“She a woah-bot? How she take a bath?” asked Papyrus smiling.

“She doesn’t, in fact I’m pretty sure I explained who Hatsune was to YOU a long time ago, it’s your brother who’s-”

“SNAS A WOAH-BOT?!”

“now you know that’s not right papyrus.”

“IS DAT WHY YOU’S BIG AND BALD AND NO ONE LIKE YOU?! YOU VOCOLOID?!”

“What are you saying? Everyone LOVES Hatsune and her horrible brothers and sisters! It’s one of the reasons I hate them…because their faces are posted everywhere and they have all KINDS of merchandise based off them, and guess what? The people who write their songs and make them sing? Nothing. I know nothing about them. The Vocaloids get all the fame and the people who work hard to make those puppets move get nothing.”

But I’m gonna change everything.

I’ll be the first REAL Vocaloid.

A perfect being.

The perfect performer.

The first Vocaloid to EARN his fame. With my passion and Determination combined with all of Hatsune’s benefits, no one will ever ignore me again. Humans won’t run away scared like they used to and even these racist hicks will come around.

I’ll MAKE them come around…

“Fairy’s got dat Dirt-Butt look big Buther…”

“Also, that reminds me, darling. Did your father ever say anything about a little project I asked him to do a while back?”

“Yep! I asked him just like you said and Daddy say, ‘go way Papyrus, weave me alone! if you ask me one more time, I’s gonna beat you to bone meal and sell you to a crack addict, maybe then you’ll actually be worth something!’ He was reeeeal mad-”

“*pfft!*”

“Sooo he’s already on it then?”

“I don’t know, I’s just a baby. Most current events escape me.”

“…It was the only event I asked you to keep watch for.”

“Simple directions also escape the baby.”

“…”

“Also, why Snas not famous like da’ other woah-bots? All the big peoples tell him to go way…is cause’ he fat?”

“shut up pap.”

“Your brother’s NOT a robot.”

“heee knows.”

He’s just being a dick.

Probably sick of you complaining about everything and trying to get you to go away yourself to be honest, though I’m not sure why he has to use ME to do it.

“But Snas say he not a baby and he big and bald! Woah-bots can’t grow hairs cause’ they be made of metal-”

“i bathe.”

“How you bathe?”

“like everyone else.”

“Nuh-uh! Letrical stuffs can’t go in da’ water, Daddy said! I knows it cause’ I tried to use his phone to call the fish lady while I’s taking a bath and I assidently held da’ phone under the faucet while it be running and it fall out my hand into the sink.”

“you were using Dad’s phone? how? why? who was watching you?!”

“Nobody. It be the middle of da’ night. I had to take mah bath at night so I could get Daddy’s phone. I use-ed it stead’ of mine just in case I dropped it from high up. Babies don’t gots a good grip ya’ know? I’s right too! I did drop it,” said Papyrus with a smile. “I drop it right in da’ water big Buther! Nyeh heh heh!”

“heh, you seem so proud.”

“Yep, I’s very proud of myselves…because it could have been MY phone, but baby thought ahead. I’s real sad afterwards dough…I had plans, BIG plans. I’s gonna ask the fish lady how to beeth underwater and get the step-by-step destructions.”

“instructions.”

“Ah-stuctions. But when I taked it out the water and pessed the buttons, it didn’t work no more and dat’s how I knows lectrical stuffs don’t work in water…also Daddy told me.”

“he told you huh? lemme guess, you didn’t turn the faucet off?”

Sans didn’t really need an answer as he remembered perfectly well how awesome it had felt to watch Alphys, his ONLY FRIEND, face-plant onto the tile floor and blame HIM for not putting up a caution sign of some sort, as if he worked customer service at the Resort. He had spent most of that morning apologizing for something he didn’t do, so as to not lose her friendship and stop her from crying over the paperwork that had been ruined by Papyrus’s makeshift slip n’ slide. At the time, he hadn’t even thought about why the hallway was practically a lake, but now that Papyrus was telling his story, the memory came back full force and he wondered why he hadn’t blamed his brother sooner if not immediately.

“Why I need to shut it off? Water evaporates big Buther! Also, big peoples like to clean. It makes people happy when I make messes-”

“NO. no no no NO it does NOT. i don’t know where you got that idea baby bro, but you are one hundred percent wrong.”

“Nope, I’s right all right. I knows cause’ Daddy only yell at me about da’ phone. He go ‘PAPYRUS WHY YOU DO DIS?!”

“STOP. stop right there cause’ we are NOT skimming over this buddy. what makes you think people like cleaning up after you? do YOU like cleaning your messes?”

“No, but dat’s cause’ I’s a baby. I gots small widdle arms and tiny widdle hands, so I can’t carry stuffs good, and I gots duck feets, so I can’t walk good neither and it take too long to reach paces-”

“you have nine extra hands and you walk fine, i’ve seen you. you waddle side to side ONLY when other people are watching you because you think it’s cute.”

“Nope, I’s widdle, so my balance not good yet. I not walk straight and I gots to crawl when I gets tired.”

“i’ve seen you run dude. we’ve literally taped almost everything since you awoke.”

“Dat footage fake.”

“papyrus.”

“Dat footage doctored.”

“stop.”

“It don’t matter anyway cause’ cweening mah messes makes people feel good about themselves. It make them feel like good people and make them LOOK like good people.”

“no.”

“They help da’ baby and they probly think, ‘wowie! Dis baby so nice making all these messes for me! I feels like such a gate person, and I bets erybody loves me more now too since they knows I’s po-duc-tive and kind to widdle babies.”

“i really hope you’re playing papyrus…”    

“You wants to listen to a different song?”

“don’t you ignore me.”

“I think I’m going to head home actually,” replied Hapstablook. “I only came out here because I THOUGHT I could get some fresh air…but I forgot some of these townspeople don’t know the difference between a street and a bathroom.”

Sans frowned as he watched the ghost fade away. It was good that he was still loyal to his family and their business despite how much he valued his dreams, but his stuck-up attitude still rubbed the comedian the wrong way…

“You wants to get Nice Cream now Snas?”

“pass.”

“You sing wit da’ baby then?”

“huh?”

“Running to another day I wants to break away and take a leap, nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh-”

“hard pass.”

Alright, sorry for the long-ass wait everyone, I know I’m late. I’ve literally had Microsoft Word open for the last three months trying to work on this, but unfortunately I got writer’s block like a motherfucker. -_-

Just so we’re clear, if I don’t upload once a month, it’s because I either have writer’s block or I’ve run out of pics to use. I don’t TAKE hiatus's...those are for bitches.  

[madrabbitsociety]

Sometimes, after nights like yesterday and tonight, I think to myself, “Wow, SpicyMags is a fucking angel who doesn’t deserve to be cursed with my friendship.” 

And then I remember, “Oh, that’s right, she wished for me. Next time she should wish better.” 

[gotatext]

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

[radramblog]

we live in a society (that has progressed)

There’s always an interminable shift, a flux, in culture that can be hard to spot if you don’t quite know what you’re looking for. As times change, people grow, and media is released, causing perspectives and opinions in the general psyche to sway over the course of human cultural history.

Basically, the Joker is allowed to be funny again, and that’s a good thing.

I’m not going to bother explaining who the Joker is to you, like I often do when I’m introducing a post like this. It’s the fucking Joker, I’d be shocked if you didn’t know what the character is. You have to be online to see this post, after all, and if you’re on the obscure rabbit-hole known as My Tumblr, you’re online enough to see Joker memes and such.

The Joker is an inherently ridiculous character. He’s literally a clown man, a foil to the deadpan Batman, humour literally written into his name. And while I cannot possibly capture the full breadth of his various iterations and interpretations over the course of DC Comics’s long history, a lot less people are going to have read the comics than seen the adaptations of such, and those are what has stuck out in the public consciousness. There’s a few versions in particular I’d like to highlight before I get into the meat of this.

In particular, the early visual interpretations of the character are, well, monumentally silly. It’s impossible to talk about the 1966 Adam West Batman series without an understanding of just how camp the whole thing was, and the Joker is no exception to this. Even Jack Nicholson’s performance in the 1989 film is inherently silly despite it’s overall serious tone, a villain who kills people with a chemical called, I shit you not, Smylex. Considering the actor, and especially considering what came just a year before that film, such a portrayal is actually kind of a confusing cultural milestone.

And that thing that came a year beforehand is The Killing Joke, potentially the most iconic Batman comic, nay, DC comic there is. And with it, potentially the most sympathetic portrayal of the Joker that there had been so far. A man driven mad by exposure, a situation he was only in to afford his family’s bills. It presents the most clear image of him as Batman’s mirror- literally, at times, and yet shows some of his most shocking brutality at the same time. The idea of the comic, if I may be so bold, is to imply that the line between Batman and the Joker isn’t quite so thick as it appears at first glance.

We don’t talk about the animated version of the Killing Joke.

I’m going to move right past the Animated Series in general, not because it’s bad or anything, but because I’m relatively unfamiliar with it (this may be a reoccurring theme) I’ve only seen a handful of episodes, the ones my family had on VHS, and they sure didn’t have the Joker in them. (The Gray Ghost and….I think a Scarecrow episode? Which was a hell of a thing to see as a kid). It does have his portrayal with Mark Hamill as the voice actor, though, which is frankly such a choice decision.

The thing that made the Joker, and the Batman franchise as a whole, come back into the limelight was obviously the Nolan movies, specifically The Dark Knight. Being the face of such a critically acclaimed movie with such an incredible performance by Heath Ledger (I am obliged to stan, he’s from Perth, I’ve met his stepdad) is obviously going to get the name back in the books, even if it’s such a different version from what had previously been seen.

Ledger’s Joker has a humour, sure, but it’s a significantly more morbid one than previous incarnations. Previous Jokers killed people, sure, but The Dark Knight added a level of brutality to the whole thing that made the character so much more serious, pun not intended. One can largely attribute this to the darker tone of the film he appears in compared to previous Batmans (especially the 90s films), because in those versions the Joker was, well, not a serious character. He doesn’t interact with the world in the same way other people do, his values are completely alien. Ledger’s Joker has a very specific ideology, one people can understand, and more relevantly, one people can misunderstand.

The actual post begins here.

Ledger’s Joker has been the icon of the edgy teenager since The Dark Knight came out and was watched by millions of them. Something about the character speaks to them, something about being an outsider, not like the other people, and also both smart and violent, which are attributes that 13-year-olds idolise.

A Joker profile picture has long been one of the biggest red flags on the internet. A sure sign that someone is going to say the dumbest fucking thing imaginable, or something hideously offensive apropos of absolutely nothing. This isn’t even getting into how the character became an icon for the Gamers Rise Up movement, which I will remind you that a fair few people actually took seriously. A legion of the worst of nerd culture- misogynistic, racist, and toxic folks who have nothing better to do than yell at people on Reddit.

Where as I, the cultured individual, explain things to people on Tumblr. Very different. But the point is, this specific version of the character is an anarchist, out to prove that, at the end of the day, every single person has the potential to become a monster, that chaos is the nature of humanity, somewhat akin to his portrayal and point in The Killing Joke- all it takes is the right thing to set you off. This twisting of the message into “im better and smarter than u also I will kill u” is frankly kind of disgusting.

The point I’m trying to get to is that for the last decade-ish, The Joker, a character built around humour and gratuity, has become incredibly unfunny. From the internet fuckwits to the grim Ledger portrayal, the character with Joke in their name has been impossible to laugh at.

Another factor contributing to this is the growing awareness and increased sympathy for mentally ill people, which is where Joker (the film) comes in. Now, obviously, the understanding of mental issues is not a bad thing, and I’d love to see this trend continue. But my understanding is that Joker and its titular character are not a particularly humourous time, despite the character literally being a comedian this time.

To be clear, I have not seen the movie, and I have no intention to, so feel free to completely ignore my opinion on this. But the fact that the film seemed to have made all the GRU stuff worse is not a good sign for it.

However, as in life and in media, all things shall pass, and that does include the Joker. Ignoring Suicide Squad (because I know like nothing about the Joker’s place in that film and don’t want to research it), late 2010-s on portrayals of the Joker appear to be returning to the characters roots somewhat, though to be fair, both of the things I’m basing my judgement are comedy features.

The first is, oddly enough, the Lego Batman movie. I can understand not having seen this film, because from the outside, it didn’t look or sound good, but the whole thing is basically a love letter to Batman/DC as a franchise, complete with possibly the silliest incarnation of the character so far. This Joker is utterly obsessed with proving himself as Batman’s equal, as the greatest villain to rival the greatest hero. He’s probably the most potentially homoerotic interpretation, which is kind of silly considering he’s literally a Lego dude. But the movie is funny, and so is he, which is the key point.

The other recent addition to this list is the Harley Quinn animated series, where the Joker obviously plays a significant role. Now, I’m not really familiar at all with this interpretation, having not seen the show, but considering the memes going around about Batman apparently not doing oral, and that having stemmed from this show, it’s not hard to imagine the Joker’s portrayal being similarly silly- even if his canonical abusee is the protagonist. Like, I’m pretty sure he’s a bastard in this one, but he’s also the butt of the joke, considering the series is in large part about Harley getting over him and moving past that part of her life (and ideally hooking up with Poison Ivy, because, come on)

I guess my point is that the Joker is an inherently comic character, in all that entails. You cannot have the Joker not be in some way silly without making massive changes to his design, his characterisation, and his ideals- which is pretty much what has happened in the past few years. I mean, the guy’s got bright green hair, he wears purple suits, he kills people with laughing gas.

This comic, by artist FruitEater, is kind of what inspired this whole post. It’s such a silly little thing from a silly little trend, but it really stuck in my head, and not just because it reminded me of my past self- a child who was super into Crazy Frog when I was, like, 10. It’s a comic that couldn’t exist were it not for the passage of time beyond the era of edgy Joker. Time has moved on- Gamers Rise Up is dying (the subreddit got banned, where else are they supposed to go?), cringe culture is dying, and the Joker is a character that’s allowed to be funny again.

We can laugh with the Joker again.

[guksthighs]

hiii! I'm kinda new to being an ARMY ive been one maybe 2 months now? ^^' but I really really love BTS I listened to a handful of their songs over the past couple of years before I actually was like: "I just wanna know their names" and then...I fell down the rabbit hole and fell in love with all of them XD But I don't know anyone who knows BTS very well, like i mean my irl friends aren't into kpop and stuff so well, i have a concern/question about them or maybe Korean beauty standards? (part1/2)

i really like ur blog and u seem like a really cool and nice person Ive been planning for the past 2 years to shave my head like Furiosa from Mad Max but Do you think BTS will be on another tour to the USA this year? i would really love to meet them and i want them to think im pretty But I dont know the beauty standards in Korea but all the girl idols are really pretty and typically have long hair so What do you think? I hope the question makes sense ^^' sorry for bothering you!! TT TT (part2/2)

go and shave your head honey!! in every ideal type the boys seem to believe that all they care about is personality, and if you’re confident with yourself they will find you pretty~ i think korean society tends to care more about face structure then hair and even then a lot of female idols have short hair and are still loved a lot by their fans!! ( take a look at twice’s jeongyeon )

but more importantly, i know you want to look good for the boys you admire, but you should really have more self-confidence and know that you should look good for yourself and wear the clothes you want to and cut the hair in the style you like because you’re doing it to make yourself happy. don’t focus on impressing bts, focus on making yourself happy and comfortable!!

[lunamanar]

Mea Culpa

Alright...I know that this blog is typically very positive, very focused on FFVIII or FF in general or at least video games and sundry cool stuff. I don’t air grievances here, and I usually don’t opine on any heavy subjects. But, I need to make a serious post. It does touch a tiny bit on FFVIII, because it references something I said a little while ago, but this post is not about FFVIII. However, if you can stand to read it, I’d appreciate it. I promise the end point is still positive! I just need to get a little heavy for a bit. I’m not gonna hide any of this post behind a cut, either, just because I do think it’s important.

So, a couple days ago, I responded to an ask about my views on Seifer with a very long half-essay, half-editorial about the possible reasons for his behavior patterns, as displayed in the game. I knew that at least the first half of the post--which was from early last year and written while I was, uh, feeling a lot of things and probably shouldn’t have been answering questions about my FFVIII views--might be unpopular, but I thought that the opinion itself would be the problem, if anything, and if I stepped on any toes with it, I could clarify that, hey, my views have expanded since then. And I’ll never tell anyone else what they can and cannot think about a character, even if it stands in direct conflict with what I think about that same character. We all experience art and media in our own way, and I really, honestly believe that what we each get out of it is our own experience, and what good we find in that matters way, way more than whether or not our interpretation is “correct.” So while I’ll go down the rabbit hole trying to get to the bottom of what’s canon, what’s not, what differs between versions and translations and localizations...I still have my own feelings about the game, which I know are not provable, and I’m more than happy to let others have theirs, too. 

However...that, as it turns out, was not the problem with that post. People were really kind to me about my views on Seifer, actually. The most dissenting view I got was “uh I don’t think so but whatever.” And honestly, given...you know, the Internet...that’s pretty mild. 

The problem with that post, and something I’ve been thinking about ever since, wasn’t anything anyone got mad at me for. It was pointed out by a friend or two and I’ve been chewing on it trying to think about how to approach addressing it. It’s been really bothering me--as it should--considering my own history, and those of several loved ones, with mental illness. And honestly, I know better, should have known better than to couch Seifer’s violent behavior under the terms “sociopath” and “psychopathy.” While I do think my interpretation of him qualifies... ....Enngh. There’s a fine line between using the correct wording to describe a thing (which is what I’d done, in my mind) and representing that thing with your words. 

Well, maybe not such a fine line. Really, I fucking stepped in it, haha. And you know what the worst part is? Almost no one noticed, or if they did, they were either too jaded or too afraid to confront me about it. 

So, I want to take a moment, first of all, to sincerely apologize. Because...if just two of my friends tapped me to say ‘hey uh, maybe that wasn’t the best idea, man,’ the likelihood that there were other people who were made uncomfortable/injured by that post is right up there at 300% or so. And the fact no one else said anything is just further proof that...especially concerning those two scary awful terrible demon words--psychopath. sociopath.--there’s a stigma surrounding mental illness and the very discussion of it that allows bumbleducks like me to seemingly write off complicated characters like Seifer as a psychopath, signed sealed and delivered (no, I didn’t mean to write him off, but that’s not the point). Everyone else just nodded their heads, said “oh yeah that sounds right” and if they didn’t, it was either too intimidating or too exhausting to well-actually me about it. 

So, here’s some clarification that I should have explicitly provided in that original post. 

Mental illness in any form is a tangled mess. It gets messier the scarier the words being used. Most often, when you hear something like--for example--’ADHD,’ you get the mental image of someone with the attention span of a goldfish who can’t manage their vocal volume and is just generally hyper and all over the place. But...well...

I’m gonna use myself in this example. I have ADHD. And I’m not like that, at all. I’m focused, I have a pretty good long-term memory, and if anything, I am a very low-energy person. If you were to meet me face to face, I’d seem like a pretty normal introverted soul, maybe a bit more distant than average. But even something as “simple” as ADHD is not simple at all, the same “brownouts” that cause a lot of people to be hyper, loud and flighty cause me to be very quiet, highly anxious, and obsessive. Someone asked me, just about an hour ago, how I write all this content, and “think so hard” about FFVIII. Firstly, I’m far from the only one. But the answer is that--that, that’s just how my brain works. I can focus and pick over a subject for literally decades, if it means enough to me. It doesn’t mean I’m smarter, I’m simply devoting more time and effort to this than I otherwise would be. I almost have no choice. 

But, surprise, I don’t have OCD, despite the fact that “obsessive” is part of my behavior map. That’s a different set of brain things, and it’s been pretty solidly concluded that they aren’t part of my personal headsoup. Behaviors in and of themselves do not make a diagnosis; we might once have only had those to go on, but in this brand new age of fMRI and robot-facilitated chemistry testing, we have no such excuses. An absolutely huge tapestry of genetics, learning, body chemistry, past experiences, and simple dumb luck go into determining how a person behaves and what the particular cause of that behavior is. It’s not enough to say “oh, that person’s a psychopath.” That means...basically nothing. And the sad fact of the matter is, there are any number of diagnosed psychopaths who may have read that post, and as a result, pulled themselves even further into the shadows. Because they do have feelings, and they aren’t violent, or otherwise dangerous. But the moment they tell somebody they have this diagnosis, people are going to make assumptions about them, just because holy shit is that a scary terrible word. Or maybe not believe them at all. “You don’t seem like.....” People used to tilt their heads funny at me when I told them I had ADD. I eventually quit saying it, because it was annoying having to re-explain it all the time. But ADD isn’t a scary diagnosis. It’s a common one. Yeah, uh, so and so presidents/geniuses/inventors had ADD...if anything, it puts you on a pedestal with the greats, whether or not you deserve it. 

But the “scary” stuff? How would you like to be dumped into the same socially valueless pit as BTK? Or Hitler? In our society, association is everything, and while diagnoses of psychopathy or antisocial personality disorder are actually not that uncommon--especially “borderline” cases--when we hear about them, our immediate reaction to them is a fight-or-flight response. Danger. 

That’s...really not the way we should be looking at these things, though. 

To some extent the very doctors diagnosing the patients are to blame for their own demonization of these words and diagnoses, especially in the past. Media, which tends to only talk about mental illness when they find a terrifying fringe case involving it...serial killers, mass murderers, violent abusers...doesn’t really help at all. And then there’s the everyday klutzery of people like Yours Truly.

That exact kind of pigeonholing is exactly what I engaged in. Even though I was talking about Seifer as a textbook case, even though I said I didn’t mean he was a “stabbity” psychopath, what I left out of that post spoke a lot louder than what I put in. I didn’t stop to clarify that I was talking about the impact/influence of his mental state on his behavior, rather than as a direct cause to an effect. I didn’t slow down to say that I wasn’t calling all or even most people with similar illnesses violent. Hell, I didn’t even stop to call it a mental illness. I skipped straight to the “scary words,” without any preamble, any explanation, and I missed a huge opportunity to talk about mental illness in fiction, games and FFVIII in particular, and how we can collectively do better at discussing it, when we do cross that boundary between Talking About The Thing and Representing The Thing. 

I was nervous about being judged for my interpretation of Seifer, and in my haste to just get the answer out and then go hide in a hole for a week, I put forth a two-dimensional image of people living with powerful mental illnesses, and did those people--and Seifer himself--an injustice. I’m sorry for that, and I do intend to re-write the answer and correct that slight. I can’t say when I will have the energy or time to do it right...but, it will be done. In the mean time...I wanted to at least put this out there, and I hope, if you are someone who was hurt by that post, and for some reason, are still around listening to me yak, I can undo the damage.

...That’s all I got. 

[j4m3s-b4k3r]

Scribbling While Rome Burns

It is strange to look at my last post and think how much has changed in a just few months. Back in January, I'd never even heard of the 'coronavirus' and wrote about enjoying casually drawing outside. Nowadays, we barely leave the apartment, and it looks as if we'll all be homebodies for quite sometime to come. Any drawings I do for the foreseeable future will be done AT HOME.

A few weeks after that last post, in late February/early March, Several cities in the Bay Area got their first coronavirus infections, including San Francisco, and quick follow through by local government and the private sector meant that I was working at home full time by March 13th. However, two months later, much of the world seems to be losing its mind at being housebound. Even the survivalists, who always appeared to be gleefully preparing for just such an apocalyptic moment of societal collapse, are now taking up arms and angrily storming City Hall steps across the USA: 'Dammit, society.. we cain't quit yew!'

Perhaps I'm better prepared for this moment than most, having already endured a personal apocalypse not so long ago. When paralyzed by my stroke, I was functionally a shut-in for 2 or 3 years, while re-learning how to talk & walk, etc. My effective range was only a few feet from our front door and I rarely left the apartment, gnawing my insides out with anxieties about my future, mounting medical debt and inability to earn a living. So, I already have plenty of experience with this existential crisis thang. Last time around, I learned that the human mind is quite capable of eating itself if you let it. So you must not let it. Instead of plunging into a pit of despair, look in the other direction and keep your mind occupied, ideally with tasks that help you climb out of the hole.

My current situation is actually a vast improvement over my previous crisis. I can now draw (sort of) and therefore have the means to entertain myself, plus a job, and fortunately it can be done from home. Freed from my daily commute, I have 3 extra hours to sleep-in in each day. While I feel very lucky, I've learned to never take any moment for granted. Fate is a drama-queen that might flip over your banquet table at any time, so enjoy as much of that tasty pudding as you can, before you're suddenly sitting in it.

Between work assignments, I doodle away on Rocket Rabbit comics and coincidentally, the book that's been my art-therapy project for the past few years already had a post-apocalyptic setting. A cartoon version of all that Omega Man/Andromeda Strain/Mad Max stuff. A few years ago, it seemed amusing to do a silly-apocalypse comic book, and now, in the real world, we have people battling over rolls of toilet-paper. Mad Max got it wrong; actual Immortan Joes are stockpiling hand-sanitizer and bum-wad, rather than aqua cola & guzzoline.. Cartoon absurdity has become our reality.

[one-more-for-the-sky]

[01/12/18, Friday]

its day 11 it started out rocky again due alarm problems. what the hell! it's been ringing at 850! im supposed to be out the door by 850 or sooner but 850 is definitely the latest i can leave the house that i could speed into work. but mom needed me to come home anyway (yeah i work for my mom. its good work and i take it seriously and anyone who wants to look down on me for it can suck it; i'm doing the best i can right now with all the coliding mental stuff. i'll talk about later on in this entry) John left some of his notes on a certain issue one of our clients is having at the house and i picked them up. kind of lucky there. we loligagged a little. i took out our new pet bunny. she's surprisingly very cuddly for a bunny. i have no prior bunny experiences mind you but still. not what i expected from a large rodent. or any rodent or smaller than a cat like animal. my gliders are certainly not that well behaved though i don't expect it either, energetic and lithe creatures that they are. still she is more endearing than i anticipated. i still am not very fond of rabbits but this one is okay. we chatted for a minute about my baby sister's room. and i was off with the notes and to grab john some water and get gas (not in that order). fridays are my favorite because its a slow day and people generally dont bother me much.

the last bits of yesterday where kind of exhausting and i find myself really challenged by the excuitive function disorder i have. i kept thinking about where i want to put this or that and thought to myself, just do it! but ultimately didn't. i rewarded myself too early. to my credit, i was exhausted. but still. today i will try to work first THEN reward myself. it is a habit of mine and it enables my EFD (excuitive function disorder). so basicly i just played a lot of video games yesterday.

i just feel jittery and unfocused for right now. hopefully it will change.

the house is a mess of laundry. i am sensing a much needed "20 minutes of cleaning" (read: 120 minutes of cleaning) from mom which is a chance for attitude from everyone. not excited. so when i get home, i'll definitly clean first. i think i'll start with tiding up the dinning room because that's really how you can tell if the house is in dire straits. If the dinning room is messy then it is time for a family cleaning session. i didn't even make the mess. i would agree to cleaning the kitchen or do the laundry but nothing else, but that's not going to fly, really. i should either start in the music room or the dinning room... Probably the dinning because you see it when you walk in and its the most visible eye sore, and then the dinning and move to the kitcheny part the den, the den i'll leave to vannah and mom. savannah's stuff is littered across the floor and even for me, its agrovating to look at. but i have to remind myself that my baby sister is probably worse of than me when it comes to EFD and adhd. there is definitly going to be a fight about that, i can feel it. i hope im wrong though.

mom suggested i log what i end up eating. at the time, i was offended by the suggestion. sounds silly but you have to keep in mind the historical obsession about my weight and food intake my mother has expressed over the years, sense i was small and still very impressionable. i still don't really know what to make of it, all the dietary routine changes i was mad to go though and shamed for. i was 13! 14! 15! I was young and still growing. i was in an important part of my developing as a person and myself worth, and what did i learn? that im too thick. i didn't really think i was at the time, but how can i say no to the person driving me around and im not in charge of my destination? it was wholy unfair... im not really saying that this is the root of all my self-esteam issues but it didn't help. not only did my peers see me as imperfect and flawed, so did my family. its hard to think about. i try to forget. so therefore the suggestion of working out, of listing what i eat or anything else by mom is offensive initially. in hindsight, yeah it a good idea. i just hate to admit it because of the implications.

speaking of my peers, my social/educational/school experience in childhood? fucking. awful. about the time i was in 3rd grade i really started to notice people didn't like me much. i can't remember much else than that. i know i wasn't a popular person in 1st or 2nd grade and i'm not even going to count kindergarden, but 3rd grade is where most of my memory begins. my teacher didn't even like me then. said i was a trouble maker and a bad person. not to me, but she made the mistake of saying that to my mother. why did she say that? because i decided i was going to clean up the class room. she said i was a manipulitive little trouble maker for cleaning her class room. this is were my earliest descriminations against me and my adhd and learning disablities really begins and i remember it. forget about my peers for a moment; my teacher hated me for reasons i didn't even know or understand. i wasn't even that hyperactive like some with adhd, but i did have an issue with attention and being a little disruptive with my best friend. at the time, pokemon was the new wild thing and i was utterly obsessed my friend was too, but that was my doing. instead of paying attention, we were playing. i was just a kid being a kid. when it came to start doing the standardized state testing, no one explicitly stated how important these tests were. i seem to remember someone saying that they were just practice and didn't count towards a grade and i thought oh okay, so its okay to mess up. so much so, i chrismas treed the whole thing. the whole goddamn thing, i just put in random bubbles just because i wanted it done and out of the way of whatever. well. that was the catalyst to a lot of issues i had from then on. without the consent of my mother or any discussion to anyone, they placed me and my friend in a "special ed" class, where you basically just colored stuff and glued stuff together and what not. i was in this class for half of a year before our parents found out and were enraged. upon finding out, they rained hot fiery war upon the school, they tried to cover it by saying how worried they were, that weren't sure i could even read. they didn't do any testing. they didn't ask me or my mother anything. long story short, that's a lot of school i missed. it put me behind in reading for years until i was in 7th grade. from there i struggled because of the things i missed out on because a teacher didn't like the disabled child they were responcible for. i think about that a lot. i think about all the late nights being screamed at because i wasn't doing well and struggled in elementry school things. i remember certain things my mom did that i dont really wish to describe, but while school was a battle sometimes going home was worse. it wasn't always like that, but if mom was in a mood, it went there.

my peers were really no better. a throughout, i was very much picked on because i really liked certain things, and they were my hyperfixations. and i was weird and my teeth were wrong. some of my favorite things ive been called when in elementry school: a cockroach, r-slur, someone said they humped me (they didn't but it was still humiliating), called me useless, made fun of my teeth, made fun of me because i made eye contact with people by saying i had a crush on anyone i looked in the eye (it mortified me as a kid because i definitely did not like any of those assholes, i still struggle with this), i was told that 9/11 was my fault, people tried to cut my hair, people stole from me, spat on me.... it was rough. i'm going to stop talking about it for now.

mom, if you're reading this, then you're probably thinking wow, is this really all i think about? or wow i guess im just a terrible awful mom (or some reverse guilt trippin thing you tend to do to try and make me feel bad for validating myself and addressing what you do that hurts me, even though you're the adult and primarily in control of our relationship) or also wondering why i never talk like this about my father. my father doesn't know me. i am my dad's only child and all he knows about me is that im gay, what i went to college for, and basic likes and dislikes. beyond that, my dad doesn't know me. maybe its the same for my sisters and everyone else but im my dad's only child. i have no competition with him for attention.

i've also have been thinking about myself growing up and my relationship with my sisters. full disclosure: i was not as nice to my sister sabrina as i am today. i was mean. i acknowledge it and think about it all the time. i mean, i was no more a kid myself, but i wasn't nice at all. i didn't even think nicely of her. and worse, i was nicer to savannah than i was her, and im sure that killed her a bit. mom would talk, beg, for me to be nicer. i wasn't like her abusive sister, but it felt like i was taking notes. in part, i blame society and media for what learned about being a sibling. most media i saw and consumed growing up, siblings hated each other, were mean to each other and competed against one another for attention, even in cartoons, that's what i picked up on, and internalized, obviously. my parents obviously didn't do anything to reassure me of that not happening, but i can shoulder some of the responsibility. i have to keep reminding myself, and others that i was just only 8 or 9 or 10 when my sister was born and i already had all these thoughts in my head but by the time i was 13-14-15, it starts to  be a combined effort of me and my parents and upon 16-17-18, i made little to no move to change my ways. i sincerely regret it now. after college and being apart from my family for so long and learning powerful lessons on what stands against the grains of time the strongest, family - particularly my sisters - became the centerpiece of my life. in college i met some interesting people, but the most notable thing i remember hearing from some of them, was how much they hated their siblings, younger or older or otherwise. just hated them for whatever reason. im not sure what exactly i thought, except that i was tired of listening to people act like this and that i had sounded like this too. and after failing some classes and being abandoned by friends, i realized the most important connection i could make was to my siblings. from the moment i decided to stop bad-mouthing them, i embraced them, their quirks, and loved them with everything i had. i still get aggravated with them ofc bc yaknow, nothings perfect, but they were perfect as they were. all i wanted and still want to do is spend time with them. i constantly think on how i was when i was growing up, especially for my little sister sabrina. i wasn't kind, as if the i didn't even know the word. i apologize a lot for it. every so often, i take her aside to talk to her about it. im still afraid to full acknowledge just how much damage i might've caused, but its still my responsibility to make it right and to mend it. sabrina, bless her, tells me not to worry, that she understands, that she doesn't remember a lot, except for a few things that make me cringe at myself. i apologize a lot. even now i am still sorry. i hope i am making up for it. i hope she doesn't grow to resent me, as i likely deserve. i love her so much i just want her to be happy and fulfilled and safe. i hate myself for how i was.

and i worry. a lot. its not exactly the same, theres a lot of different aspects to their dynamics, but i sometimes see myself in how sabrina acts towards savannah and it worries me. savannah is a lot less forgiving. a lot closer to bina's age and therefore harder to impress later on should sabrina change her tune. they both go at it though. savannah gives as much sabrina does, and especially so that she's 13 and moody as 13 year old typically are. all the same, i feel like the example i led has won out to the example i try to lead now and it frightens me. i want all 3 of us to be close. for all we've suffered together, to be alone in the world once our parents are gone frightens the shit out of me. more than anything, i want us to remain close. all three of us. i worry a lot about our relationship with each other...

anyway, so yeah i'm currently living with and working for my parents. i do take the work seriously even if doesn't look it and im proud of my (few) acomplishments. and living with them has its ups and downs. it feels good on hand to start from the ground up on how to like. live. how to be a person. or something. sorry i know i was going to go into this, but the previous topic got me down a little. i'm changing the subject.

my desk came in early, and im excited to put it together. can't wait really.

eh. i'm bumbed. will consider the listing of foods i eat.

peace.

[feministangertranslator]

The Daily Deluge

Image from Femstella

Bombshells big and small are being dropped daily as the result of the #metoo movement. I feel disappointed I don't have more hours in the day to read every tidbit of news about what is shaping up to be another major chapter in feminism, let alone sit down, process, and write about my perspective on it. I really wanted to have written more here by now. I am so busy loving the smell the Napalm in the morning, it’s hard to get much of anything else done.  Sometimes I want to call in sick to everything and everybody, make a bowl of popcorn and watch the patriarchy burn down from the comfort of my cozy home.  Honestly, I could eat this shit up all day and don’t want to miss a minute of it.

This, unfortunately, leads me to often find myself in ravenous consumption mode as opposed to thoughtful and deliberate output mode: I am devouring all of the news of the men who have been accused of sexual misconduct and their (mostly ridiculous) statements - I’m not even going to call those PR and attorney crafted liability avoiders apologies. Equally, I enjoy all of the beautiful heart-filled articles, posts, and videos from other survivors of sexual assault who are expressing reactions, thoughts, and feelings to which I strongly relate. I have a docket of saved articles in my Facebook account, tons of bookmarked Instagram posts, and cued up podcasts competing for my attention. I have to force myself to pull out of the social media rabbit hole, get up and away from my computer (sometimes TV) to go brush my teeth, straighten my hair, put food in my mouth, earn money, and do other things that are vital to taking care of myself. They seem so much more boring in comparison to the day of reckoning that seems to be unfolding right before my eyes.

I must resist this siren call for a few reasons. Firstly, I know this is the position our capitalist society wants me in: too busy watching, ingesting, consuming, buying, and promoting the ideas and goods being peddled by others to get angry about all the more important injustices and inequities from the fallout of capitalism befalling me and the rest of us. Fuck that. That is one of the reasons why I stopped working in television. I couldn't imagine myself working so hard to be (if I were so lucky) a part of a successful show; at the end of the day, even the best creation will always be an opiate of the people to me.

Whether it is the thoughts, theories, or products of others, like most of us Americans, I have been trained to consume and have reveled in it for too long. (My family is Romanian and I can definitely see the difference in some of our shopping and lifestyle habits). And I want to use my time, energy, effort, voice and dollars to only support who and what I believe in, and what will support and sustain me. It’s not just money that I have to be concerned with, it’s time and energy - which frankly, are more precious, and affect me, my psyche and actions, and therefore my life, tremendously.

What I choose to consume has to have the purpose either to benefit, uplift or inspire me, too. Because I am also dying to create and share I have to be mindful to not overconsume to numb myself out and satiate the fire inside me to make stuff. While part of me wants America to take a few cues from the Nordic market economy model or conversely maybe give Libertarianism a real shot, American capitalism can obviously work for others, albeit a select handful. So I have to believe I am also worthy of a piece of that pie, and there has to be a market for what I have to offer.  

For example, I find myself obsessing about the Roy Moore story. I need to constantly remind myself that paying too much attention to him and Leigh Corfman, with whom I identify with strongly who was brave enough to shed light on how he molested her by grooming and taking advantage of her, at some point puts me in the observer and consumer mode. If I’m not careful, the contact high I get from her beautiful inspired acts can placate me enough to detract from what I can do for myself, too. It is definitely easier to watch her do it than to put myself out on a limb in the public eye, even though I passionately want to get out there myself.

As a woman who was at many points throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even adulthood silenced through intimidation and abuse, I must heed the call to speak up and let it surpass my urge to stay comfortable and quiet because I think it will keep me “safe.” I must constantly fight the further ingrained notion that others (especially men) know better than me. That I’m not worthy of listening to. Or that I don’t know quite enough yet to open my mouth. This has plagued me for years - despite getting an English degree from America’s top public university, making it through the ringer to become a licensed attorney in one of the most difficult states to pass the bar, ranking obscenely high in verbal ability on an IQ test, doing well at public speaking in some of my jobs, and even breaking into difficult industries and making multiple career changes.

External achievements are no match against a deeply long-held belief that I am only here to serve others, and my life, safety, comfort, and opinions don’t matter. It would follow and haunt me in every job or relationship I had. I truly believe it started with experiencing many “adverse childhood experiences,” specifically being sexually abused by someone in my family who was supposed to take care of me instead of use and abuse me. This, of course, set me up for many years of unconsciously repeating that dynamic in a lot of my other relationships and further cementing this completely false belief as a “truth” for me. I know this is why it is important for me to speak now. It is the antidote to all my internalized shame, hatred and anger. That was someone else’s bullshit, dysfunction and pain put upon me, and I don’t want it anymore. And if anything I say can help someone else stop putting up with it, too, it will all be worth it.

I know I am not fully ready to say or act upon all that I have weighing on my heart and mind yet. Because I am insanely jealous of the output of others who are, I know I will do it, too. I have to make small steps that work for me, be patient, and hold onto my knowing I will get there when it is my time. As Julia Cameron said in the Artist Way, jealousy is a roadmap; to paraphrase in my terms, its purpose is to tell you where you want to go, what you want to do, and who you want to be by making you so fucking mad when you see someone else is doing it and you are not. It’s that simple.

I know why I am a bit hesitant to say what I truly feel, talk about my own experiences, and make myself vulnerable to judgment. It is way easier to read something someone else did and share it with a quick comment on social media as opposed to say and create something from my own heart. There is less of my skin in the game. And the game of speaking out about feminism and sexual abuse and assault? I already know what the rules are. When women publicly speak out about anything related to women’s rights, people (almost all of them men) systematically call them fat and ugly and threaten to rape and kill them. They try to silence them by attacking their womanhood: their looks (what society has deemed a woman’s hottest commodity), their sense of emotional and personal safety (through means of violating the anatomical vulnerability of their genitals in comparison to men’s), their actual lives (murder, duh), and if that isn’t enough, their straight up worthiness of being alive (by making them feel unattractive, unsafe, unloved, unwanted, unintelligent, unworthy and ultimately emotionally annihilated). For a woman not up to withstanding that attack, the threatening perpetrator doesn’t have to actually follow through on his threat; his words and fear they create are enough. Men systemically perpetrating violence against women is alive and well in our culture and we all know it.

Wielding the power to drum up fear of personal attack or violence is the main tool used to control women and it can be incredibly effective against one who has already experienced such awful acts. And words can be just as powerful as actions in affecting someone’s sense of safety. These trolls know that. That’s exactly what Trump did to Rosie O’Donnell when he called her awful names and whatever else he has done to other women who ruffle his delicate feathers. A woman who has experienced that attack and/or violence firsthand has to be able to do a lot of work to come to the other side of it to feel free walking down the street safely, and even more so to be brave enough to talk about such controversial subjects in the public eye. So since I already know what the rules of the game are, I am in the process of deciding how I and when I want to play it, what I need to strengthen, and equipment I need to bring with me to make sure I come out of it victorious and intact.