#mad if he was doing anything. SOMETHING. other than be on his damn phone all the time being a yes man to his boss

[aria0fgold]

I honestly fr just despise that SIU Director nameless ass npc and his shit-eating grin plastered on his face nearly 24/7 as if he has accomplished anything noteworthy when in reality he's just a lapdog taking orders from his nameless faceless boss and doesn't know any better but obey and go "It's just as you planned" like a yes man that feels good bout himself when he hasn't even done anything on his own other than be an obedient dog, lil piece of shit, I hate that man so much. I hate him more than his boss whoever it is, at least his boss is being a threat by doing stuff behind the scenes, but my guy is literally just on that damn phone every scene we get of him, pathetic.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

hiii i love ur fics idk if ur requests are on rn but can u do a short drabble of the tiktok trend where the guy hasn't ask his gf to be his valentines day so she "put him on sale" as a joke ofc but she's like

BF FOR SALE ($3.50)

- amazing cook

-crusty feet

- will buy anything u want

any character is fine but i would love katsuki or shoto!!

LMFAOOOO this is for sure the funniest ask ive gotten yet😭😭😭 this is so cute !! and very long overdue I apologize writer block devil was rlly kickin my ass😞 valentines been over but yk i had to write this ! i was rlly hesitating between writing for shoto or katsuki and then i realized i could write for BOTH OF THEM!! and so i did ! i tried honoring your request as best i could, hope you like it <3 !

no pronouns mentioned, pure tooth rotting nasty fluff, use of petnames (my love for shoto and sweets, babe and idiot (lol) for katsuki), katsuki is an asshat but when isn’t he, shy katsuki, shoto is a bit of an airhead, kissing, biting, reader is petty asl lol, lemme know if i missed something else !

todoroki shoto ♥︎

“yn, my love.”

“yes, shoto ?”

the corners of shoto’s mouth pull into a tiny frown at the usage of his first name. no baby, no hun, not even sho. just shoto.

“did i do something to upset you ?” he asks carefully from his spot at the foot of your dorm bed he seems to be stuck at, he can’t bring himself to move until he knows if you’re actually mad at him, and he has an inkling you are.

you look up at him for no longer than a second then look back down at your phone screen “what makes you think that ?” you question back nonchalantly.

“you posted something on your tiktok account..” shoto doesn’t have a clue how to have this conversation with you and it makes him a little nervous, he regrets not going to izuku for advice after all.

“mhmmmm~” you hum, urging him to continue knowing damn well you know what he’s going to say. you wanted to hear him say it himself.

you know shoto’s had no previous relationships before you so these type of things probably don’t mean as much to him as they do to you, but doesn’t everyone want their boyfriends to ask them to be their valentine ? you sure do, and your boyfriend hadn’t asked you to be his yet, so as petty as you know you were being at the time you posted the tiktok he’s no doubt here for right now.

shoto feels like a criminal on trial desperately trying to plead his case with you being the judge. tentatively, he asks “ you said you were..putting me up for sale ?”

immediately it’s like a switch had been flipped. you place your phone down onto your bed next to you, shoto wishes he could take your phone’s place. you cross your leg over the other and bring your hands together like a super villain revealing their master plan “yes. yes i did.”

“oh.”

silence. nothing.

shoto tried—he’s trying. he’s trying so insanely hard to make sense of everything that is you but he simply can’t. he breaks eye contact to think of more to ask but his attention is quickly pulled back to you when he hears you whine.

“uuuuughhh shotoooo~” you moan, throwing your head back against the headboard. “you’re not supposed to say ‘oh’ !” you’re face changes from grumpy to deadpan as you lower your voice slightly to try and mimic him. on any other day this would’ve made him laugh but he’s beyond lost at this point. he clears his throat before speaking again.

“ i don’t know what i’m supposed to say—or what i did for you to want to sell me.” he thinks “and for 3 dollars at that.”

you let out a laugh when you process his words and shoto’s shoulders magically feel lighter at the sound. carefully, he slides a little closer to the side of your bed so he can stand at your bedside. little by little. you pretend you don't notice.

"it's what you deserve for not askin' me to be your valentine."

the secret’s finally out and you get to see how the cog wheels in his head are starting to turn in real time, it has you holding back a giggle when he looks up at you like a deer in headlights.

“is that..why you were mad ?” you nod, humming out a playful mhmm

“ya really hurt my feelings you know ? to think my own boyfriend wouldn’t ask me” you clench your fist over your heart and fake sob dramatically.

shoto huffs out a laugh, relieved to see you’re not actually mad, and goes to sit down on your bed. he tentatively reaches for your hand and squeezes it twice when you let him hold it. before bringing it up to his lips and placing a sweet little kiss to it. it feels as if pop rocks are going off inside of you.

“ i’m sorry for not asking you to be my valentine.” he apologizes, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing your hand “ i was thinking i should’ve, but i didn’t want you to think it was weird since we’re already dating.” his thumb goes to run over your fingers “ i was worried me being too intense would scare you off.” he mumbles.

your eyebrows furrow, you lean towards him to make him look at you “ you wouldn’t scare me off, who told you that ?”

“kaminari. he said ‘coming on too strong scares away the babes.’ ” shoto quotes

you sigh. of course it was that bigmouth portable charger filling his head with this stuff.

you pull your hand out of his grasp and he looks up to protest but you grab his face in your hands before he can say anything, you can practically see him start melting at the contact as he blinks at you slowly, he reminds you of a cat.

“sho” you purr, rubbing his cheeks “ rule number one is never ever listening to kaminari’s dating advice. most of the time it is very wrong.” you explain.

shoto presses his mouth to the palm of your hand “yeah, i’m starting to regret that now.” he speaks into it, you snort. he leans in closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips and you reciprocate, pressing a few more kisses on his lips for good measure “ i’m really sorry for not asking you.” he says in between pecks. you hum in response to him placing even more kisses all around your face. “s’okay. i’m also kinda sorry for putting you up for sale.” you say, running your fingers through his hair while he places kisses on your shoulder.

he lifts his head up to look at you then, an eyebrow raised with an amused expression on his face “kinda sorry ?” he asks.

you nod “mhm. kinda sorry.”

he chuckles to himself, then gets up so he can climb into bed next to you. when he’s positioned how he likes it, with his head in your lap while you comb through his hair with your fingers, he sighs peacefully “well, it wasn’t all bad. i’m glad you think i’m a good cook.”

“what about the crusty feet ?”

“i’m choosing to ignore that part.” shoto smirks lightly to himself when he hears you laugh at his joke, clearly proud of himself for it. “and i will buy you anything you want, to make it up to you.”

“i don’t need you to buy me anything, sho” you roll your eyes with a lovesick smile “ all you gotta do is ask.”

he blinks up at you, looks off the the side as if he’s deep in thought, and suddenly gets off your lap to sit right in front of you. you never think you’ll get over how pretty your boyfriend is and being reminded of it with how close he is to you makes you flustered. he leans in to kiss you passionately and you don’t know if it’s the love he pours into it or the lack of air that has you so dizzy, you don’t dwell on it.

when he pulls away he’s looking at you like you hung up the stars in the sky and he simply, almost shyly smiles at you and asks.

“ will you be my valentine ?”

bakugou katsuki ♥︎

you did not expect katsuki to come barging into your dorm room five minutes after you’d posted your tiktok. the loud sound of someone banging on your door and proceeding to let themselves in seconds later causes you to let out a squeak.

in comes katsuki, phone tightly clutched in his hand and the moment his eyes zeroed on you he’s like a bull charging at a red flag. he stands right in front of you, angry frown on display before he shoves his phone in your face.

“explain this. now.” he growls, you have to hold back a laugh, keeping your face as calm as possible you look between him, his screen then back at your phone.

“what’s confusing about it ? i thought i was being pretty straight forward.”

his eye twitches. “why the hell did you put me up for sale ?! and for three dollars and fifty fuckin’ cents ?!” he exclaims, you can’t help the snort that bursts out of you, though katsuki doesn’t look as amused as you are.

“explain.” he deadpans.

“i think you can figure it out.” you shrug back.

he mutters insults to himself that you can’t catch “well obviously fuckin’ not, cus I wouldn’t be askin’ you if i did.” you simply shrug and look back at your phone. “i wrote it in the caption.”

it takes him a second to process then he’s tapping his password and opening the clock app at super sonic speed. his eyebrows furrow and you see him tapping away at his phone. his eyes widen when he reads your caption and he looks down at you with a mix of desperation and disbelief.

“you’re mad cus I didn’t ask you to be my valentine ?” your bratty huff and turn to the side as you shrug again is all the answer he needs. he looks at you for about 5 seconds longer then sighs.

he sits down on your bed and keeps staring. katsuki bakugou hates a lot of things and one of those things is you ignoring him. a warm hand on your ankle startles you and you can’t even ask him what he’s doing before your being yanked towards him. you squeal, almost missing the smirk on his face or the huff of laughter at your reaction. almost though, so you glare at him. katsuki looms over you until your noses almost touch, then you turn away with a huff. he chuckles, pressing his lips to your neck.

“ yer such a baby, y’know that ?” he mumbles, smirking against you neck. you huff but make no effort to shrug him off “ no i’m not, jerk. is it so wrong for me to want my boyfriend to ask me to be his valentine’s ?” you grumble, trying to ignore the feel of his warm lips against your skin, it’s not working so well for you.

“s’not what i’m sayin, sweets” he nips at your earlobe “‘m sayin’ ya coulda just told me ‘stead of bein’ a baby about it.” you can’t tell if this is his way of trying to apologize. either way, you don’t want to give in just yet.

“i’m not supposed to tell you to ask me to be your valentine’s katsuki, that’s not the point~ !” you huff petulantly. you feel a but childish but, c’mon ! it’s a given to have your boyfriend as your valentine and it wouldn’t hurt your demon spawn of a boyfriend to be a little but romantic once in a while.

he playfully rolls his eyes at you “see, what’d i tell you? big baby.” leaning forward he nips at your nose making you groan and trying to push him away with your palm. katsuki being the powerhouse that he is, doesn’t budge. “ i didn’t think to ask ya cus you’re already mine. so why should i need to ask something that’s a given ?”

your heart beats faster at his words and katsuki takes his chance when he feels you loosing up more and more. suddenly he’s got your wrists in his grip, holding them above you and looking down at you with that sickeningly handsome smirk. you’re almost there, he can practically feel it.

“i—i’m..still mad at you” you stutter out weakly, your defenses are down.

“yeah ?” he taunts.

“yeah. apologize.”

he scoffs, rolling his eyes lightheartedly “why should i apologize ? you said my fuckin’ feet stink.”

“ ah, ah, ah.” you tut “don’t put words in my mouth, i said your feet were crusty.”

“yeah, thanks babe. that makes it so much better.” he sasses, you laugh “and i complimented you ! i said you were an amazing cook !”

“yeah but that ain’t a compliment, ‘ts a fact.” he says matter of factly, you’re eyes threaten to get stuck at the back of your skull with how hard you roll them and he snickers.

he dives in and steals a kiss, and then another one when you don’t stop him. when he pulls away to catch his breath, ready to steal another kiss you stop him by placing your hand on his chest. he looks down at you questioningly and you give him a raised brow in response. he groans.

“fine. m’sorry” he concedes quietly

“foooorrr ?” you urge.

he narrows his eyes at you as if saying “don’t push it” but swallows his words down “ for not askin’ you to be my valentine’s or whatever the fuck” he shoves his now hot face into your neck and mumbles “now quit bein’ all pissed at me.”

you’re happy enough with that, so you wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands creeping up his nape and into his hair. he sighs contentedly, clearly enjoying the attention you’re giving him.

“thank you. i’m also sorry for saying you have crusty feet.” hearing him scoff at the accusation makes you giggle “and for putting you up for sale.” he hums, happy with your apology.

“..kinda.”

“oi.” he warns. you giggle in response continuing your ministrations in his hair.

“you still haven’t asked me so..” you trail off. he lifts his head up to look at you with a blond eyebrow raised.

“ does this valentine shit really matter that much to you ?” he asks.

you respond immediately “yes.” nodding aggressively to make your point.

he sighs, shaking his head. he looks at you, then looks off to the side in embarrassment, he can be so cute when he wants to be. steeling his nerves he looks you straight in the eyes. fearless with fierce red cheeks and all.

“b-be my valentine, idiot..”

[suiana]

your boyfriend has been acting weird lately (various yandere characters x gn reader) (ANGSTOBER DAY 2)

"babe are you-"

"can you quit talking? seriously, you're so damn annoying."

"...i only wanted to ask whether you were hungry..."

you stare at your boyfriend, lips pursed as he continues to type away on his phone. he's been like this for three weeks now. getting mad at you for no reason, cursing at you... did you do something wrong?

all you ever wanted was to be a good significant other and he's acting like he's on his period or something! jesus, can't he be a little bit more mature too?! picking fights with you for no reason, making a big fuss over nothing... and not even telling you why?!

...

you know what?

you had it with him.

"hey, what's your problem huh?! why are you so edgy nowadays huh? did i do something wrong?!"

your once loving boyfriend stares at you, eyes and mouth wide at your sudden outburst. he takes a moment to compose himself, eyebrows furrowing the second he thinks things through.

"god you're so damn stupid. I've been repeatedly telling you, haven't i? i hate you. what can't you understand?! this is why I'm always getting mad, damnit!"

you scoff at him, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep your cool... only for your anger to get the better of you, resulting in a screaming festival between you and your boyfriend.

"hate me? you can't expect me to believe that. not when you were literally obsessed with me up till three weeks ago?!"

"i-"

"you used to threaten people just for looking at me! you even tried to kill someone because they asked for my number! and now you want me to believe that you hate me? stop with your bullshit."

".. actually-"

"oh. are you seeing someone else? is that what this is? you're trying to make me break up with you, is that it?"

"n-... you know what? yeah, yeah it is. i want to break up with you. I've found someone else that i love more than you."

your boyfriend states, eyes dead as he stares straight at you. he breathes calmly, as if he weren't affected by this at all. meanwhile, your heart felt as though it had shattered into many tiny pieces. tears fell from your eyes, unable to be held back any longer as you broke down, falling to your knees as the male just stares at you stoicly.

"let's never see each other again."

he mumbles, turning on his heel, swiftly leaving you alone to wallow in your sadness in the once lively apartment. shit... you hadn't expected things to end like this.

"he's a fucking jerk..."

you think through your tears, vision blurry as you clutch your chest. you really loved him and he just?? left?? how could he be so heartless?

if he didn't love you he could've just said something about it. he didn't have to be so mean and hurt your feelings before finally bringing up another person! god damnit, why did you have to fall for such a person?!

you cried, wailing as you cursed your now ex-boyfriend.

"fuck! i hate you! i hate you so much! i hope i never see you again! just disappear from my life! you just left me to die here! stupid ex-boyfriend! i hate giving you my love!"

what you didn't know however, was that your 'heartless' boyfriend had stood outside your door, frowning at your every word, regretting everything he had done up until that moment. because he had loved you too. truly.

he loved you so damn much that he wanted to tear out his hair every single time he was mean to you. he wanted to tell you that he didn't mean any single one of those hurtful words. he wanted to cry and beg for your forgiveness every single time he did anything hurtful to you.

but it was for your own good. it was to keep you safe. and if he needed to hurt you to keep you safe, he'd do it. because he loved you too much to see someone else hurt you.

and being with him meant that there was always a risk of you getting hurt. so how could he allow that to happen when it could be prevented? how could he let his selfish feelings get in the way when you were such a precious little thing? sure, he loves you and he'll do anything in his power to ensure your safety but what if he can't protect you one day?

what if one day you just... get used against him? he's a dangerous man and has a lot of enemies. surely they'll find out that you're his weakness. of course he has gotten rid of anyone who might harm you now but who's to say that there won't be more in the future?

which is why he has to severe all ties with you now. he can't risk it. because he may be strong, but he may not be strong enough for whoever may come in the future. that's why he's been doing what he's been doing-making you hate him so that it hurts less when he decides that it's time to leave. he assumes that it's working wonderfully, after all you've never once noticed his puffy eyes in the morning.

"at least... they'll be safe now."

and disappear he will, for he has too many regrets welling up in the depths of his soul from what he did to you. he'll make sure to never come across you again, instead lurking in your shadow, observing you from afar.

a star like you need not be dirtied by his presence anymore.

dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, megumi fushiguro, blade, scaramouche/wanderer, your faves<3

[downwhorendous]

happy wife, happy life

— in which Satoru has a crazy idea at how to get back at your husband for being a piece of shit.

pairing : gojo × fem!reader

warnings : smut, cheating, oral, fingering, penetration, sex tape

note : tumblr debut? I'll yap more at the end... (j.ai 10k special!!!)

It was a beautiful day; you couldn’t have asked for better weather. You were all dressed up, which confused Satoru since normally, when you two hung out, your outfits consisted of sweats and old, worn-out shirts. When he questioned you on it, you deflected, claiming you just felt like dressing up. Truthfully, you had hoped your husband was going to surprise you with a breakfast outing this morning. Last night before bed, you had caught him looking through a breakfast menu from a fancy restaurant nearby on his phone. Assuming he was planning on taking you there, you had decided to wake up early to get ready. You spent the early hours of the morning doing your hair, applying makeup, nit-picking through clothes, and drowning yourself in face creams.

When your husband woke up, you pretended to start working on breakfast, thinking he would stop you, surprising you with a breakfast date.

He didn’t.

“Got a company breakfast meeting today; I’ll be out.”

He didn’t even notice how you had gotten ready, or if he did, he made no effort to comment.

To say you felt dejected would be an understatement.

Out of paranoia and some newfound desperation, you ended up trailing behind your husband in your car. You had had your suspicions these past few months, but you hadn’t wanted to confront them. A large sigh of relief left you when you saw him arrive at that fancy breakfast place, his coworkers present. You still felt a little stung; when was the last time he had taken you out on a date? Or given you a compliment? You were pulled out of your thoughts when you saw a notification flash across your phone screen.

“Pancakes.”

Satoru had such a way with words, didn’t he? Deciding you needed the distraction, you met him at the local cafe, which you both had been regular customers at since high school. Satoru was beaming when you arrived, immediately gravitating towards your favorite table. It was too bad you were wrapped up in your thoughts, or you would have heard Satoru whispering to himself as you sat down.

“Beautiful.”

He knew something was off; Satoru always knew when something was off with someone, especially if that someone was you. However, just like all his questions about your attire, you brushed them off, giving him the usual excuses of “I’m tired,” “I’m hungry,” or “I need coffee.”

Satoru knew something had to be weighing on your mind. He knew damn well you weren’t tired over anything your husband had physically done; there was no way that shrimp could lay pipe that could leave you tired into the morning. However, he did assume it was something to do with your husband. You would never go into much detail, but he could tell your marriage had been going downhill the past few years. Satoru loved to nag you about it, but you were a fierce defender, arguing that nothing was wrong and Satoru was just looking for drama. He knew better than to push you, lest he wanted you to start pushing him away, but it nagged him that you weren’t happy.

In usual Satoru fashion, he had been pestering you for the past twenty minutes about none other than your husband. Of course, he was being smart about it. It started with small comments, ones that you couldn’t necessarily get mad at.

“He’s lucky, y’know? An average guy getting someone like you.”

“Seems like he’s been busy lately, hm?”

“Does he know how lucky he is to have you?”

With each question, his face got a bit more tense, and you felt as if there was more and more strain building up in his voice. Satoru, being the smarty pants he was, pieced together why you looked so down and why you were so dressed up. Your husband had definitely let you down in some way, maybe forgetting about a date? Or canceling at the last minute? Whatever it was, Satoru could slowly feel the resentment he had towards that pathetic worm of a husband of yours build up. It was like he was a volcano, and each question was adding to the impending eruption.

“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

A blanket of thick silence fell between you two; he didn’t need to elaborate; you knew exactly what he meant. It was about time something was said.

“Nothing is going-”

“Don’t give me that horseshit.”

Satoru didn’t want to snap at you, but if seeing you being miserable was enough to drive him this crazy, he couldn’t imagine what you were truly hiding.

“Talk to me.”

The drive to your house was silent, except for the song playing on the radio, not a word had been exchanged between you two.

I hope we never change.

Satoru wasn’t stupid; he couldn’t just get you to confess to all the flaws of your marriage in a crowded coffee shop. He offered to drive you home, to which you accepted. You were being quiet, and Satoru wasn’t sure what else to say. He could press all he wanted, but nothing would change unless you wanted it to.

I hope we stay the same.

“If I tell you, then what?”

When you finally spoke up, your voice was a mix of frustration and vulnerability. Satoru glanced at you, noticing the tears forming in your eyes, and softened his approach.

“Whatever you want.”

If you wanted him to be your lawyer and process your divorce, he would. If you wanted him to beat up your husband to a pulp, he would. If you wanted to initiate an affair-

I hope that we can love through the pain.

“Okay.”

“Okay”

After the honeymoon fades…

With a heavy heart, you entered your home, the familiar surroundings offering little comfort. Satoru followed closely behind, his presence reassuring amidst the turmoil swirling within you.

You sat down on the couch, playing with the hem of your dress as you tried to figure out where to start.

“He’s not cheating.”

Satoru quirked his head to the side as you spoke. He wasn’t sure where this was heading, but he was glad something was finally happening.

“At least…I don’t think he is. I got freaked out a couple of times and went through his phone. There’s nothing.”

You looked ashamed, and you were. Snooping through your partner’s phone was a new low for you. Satoru remained silent, waiting for you to continue.

“I thought he was going to take me out on a breakfast date this morning, but he didn’t. I don’t remember the last time he took me out or even complimented me. It’s like I’m fading away in this marriage, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Satoru could tell you had been holding this in for too long, especially with how you were holding in your tears. It pained him to see you like this; it was as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest. Words couldn’t describe how badly he wanted to see your husband reduced to fucking nothing for making you feel like this. Perhaps a swift right hook to the jaw would straighten things out.

“What can I do?”

“Just listen, please.”

“Always.”

Over the next few days, you saw more and more of Satoru. He would come over to your home with a breakfast you thought was too expensive and listen to all your worries. It was like you were having marriage counseling, except your husband wasn’t present…or aware.

It felt oddly wrong to have Satoru coming to your house every morning after your husband left. It wasn’t like you were doing anything wrong, right? You were just spending time with a friend. A friend who showered you with gifts, gave you compliments galore, and treasured you with all his heart.

Platonically, as far as you knew.

Over the course of these “sessions,” Satoru was able to gather a lot about what was going on in your married life. Your husband was being a neglectful piece of shit, to be blunt, although you were definitely sugarcoating a lot. Despite you now being honest with him, Satoru couldn’t help but feel like you were hiding something from him.

“Call me crazy, but I feel like you’ve been avoiding telling me about something.”

“I already think you’re crazy.”

“Spill it, smart ass.”

After some intense interrogations, Satoru was finally able to get you to confess.

“The last time I snooped on his phone…I…found porn.”

Satoru didn’t know whether to laugh or backflip out the window.

“WHAT?!”

After some more probing (this was starting to feel like a detective vs suspect situation rather than a friendly venting session now), Satoru was finally able to get you to crack.

“I don’t know if I’m being dramatic! But…we haven’t done…it, in a long time. I’m usually always home when he is, so I just wonder why…he’s downloading and watching that…”

This was Satoru’s way in; he had been looking for something to give you that final push, and now he had it.

“Well, if you ask me…”

Mischief shone in his eyes; he had something downright sinister planned.

“…personally I consider that cheating; if you were my wife, you’d already be my personal porn sta-”

A croissant narrowly missed his face.

“C’mon! We gotta talk about this.”

Satoru was a pain; you had only briefly forgotten because he had been a sweet friend these past couple of days.

“You’re gross. Also, what am I supposed to do in this situation? Politely ask him to stop and admit I’d been going through his phone?”

“Well, I, for one, have an amazing idea.”

You knew Satoru was crazy, insane actually, but this?

“Satoru, are you drunk?”

“I don’t drink, you know that.”

“Maybe those croissants had weed in them…”

Throughout high school, you had always gone with Satoru’s wacky plans; you were both young and dumb. However, now you were older and mature, er, at least you were supposed to be.

“Just think about it.”

Adults don’t make rash decisions.

“I’ll be at my apartment tonight if you decide you wanna go through with it.”

Adults thought things through.

“I know you’re tired of living like this.”

Adults thought with their heads, not their hormones.

“Let me help.”

Fuck it, it’s fine.

“Satoru, this is crazy.”

“I thought we already established that?”

A sex tape; this blue-eyed monster was offering to make a sex tape with you.

If you thought this was so crazy, why did you come over? Why did you barely hesitate to leave your house tonight? Why were you secretly wearing lingerie? Why was your abdomen fostering a slight ache at the sight of Satoru right now?

Fuck it, it’s fine.

“If he wants something to watch, you might as well give him something to watch, right?”

And that was the crazier part: Satoru had devised this whole plan for you to not only make a sex tape but to send it to your husband as well. He even offered to edit it. Fucking weirdo.

Now, perhaps you didn’t really understand yourself very well at this moment, but Satoru did. Not only did you feel immeasurable sadness at your failing marriage, no, it was more than that. You felt rage, a fierce and burning anger that bubbled beneath the surface. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, it was ready to come to a climax. Satoru knew how hard you worked for others. For years, he had been a silent observer of your selfless endeavors, the countless times you had sacrificed your own needs for the sake of others. Whether it was dropping everything to assist a friend in need or forsaking your personal interests to ensure the happiness of someone you loved, you had been a pillar of unwavering support. Your entire life, you had poured your heart and soul into nurturing those around you, sacrificing your own needs and desires for the sake of others. You were the dependable friend, the steadfast confidante, the pillar of strength upon which others leaned. But in your relentless pursuit of selflessness, you had neglected to tend to the flames of your own discontent, allowing them to smolder and intensify until they threatened to consume you whole.

Everyone has their breaking point, even the most kind-hearted souls.

The injustice of it all, the sense of betrayal, the crushing weight of unmet expectations – it was enough to make even the most saintly of hearts question the very essence of their humanity.

“Let’s do this.”

This was crazy, this is crazy.

You had been whispering to yourself while Satoru set up a very expensive-looking camera in the corner of the bedroom. Were you seriously about to fuck your best friend to get back at your husband for being a jerk all these years? Was this-?

Your thoughts were interrupted when Satoru turned back around, his eyes scanning you up and down.

Rational thinking could come later, you decided, cause you needed to cum right now.

“Okay, let’s talk ground rules.”

Satoru leaned back into his bed, leaning against his headboard as he motioned for you to come closer. You wish you could say you hesitated, but you crawled right into bed with him, not even resisting when he pulled you closer to sit between his legs.

Satoru’s hand rested on the side of your head, gently caressing your hair.

“What’s your safeword?”

“Uh…red?”

“Basic.”

“Shut up.”

You couldn’t help but fucking giggle. Despite the situation, you felt anything but guilt; you felt giddy, like you were back to being a high schooler laughing in the back of the classroom with Satoru at your stupid classmates.

“Not that I plan on going rough on you, but is there anything that’s a hard ‘no’?”

“I’m not calling you daddy.”

“Tch, how dare you.”

He chuckled as he pulled you closer, sitting you on his lap. Your thighs wrapped around his hips as he positioned you to straddle him. His hands rested on your hips, squeezing them lightly. You could feel something poking you right between your legs, hm, wonder what that is…

“So?”

“…so?”

Satoru looked at you expectantly, and you could feel your heart rate start to speed up. The weight of the situation was suddenly crashing on you. There was a camera in the corner of the room, you were in bed with your best friend, and there was a sex tape to be made.

“I thought I should wait for you to start since you’re probably nervous. So, how do you wanna start?”

“Oh, do you-?”

“You’re taking too long.”

Without a moment to spare, Satoru’s lips were on yours, one of his hands traveling to the back of your head to deepen the kiss. His movements showed that he was in no rush. Not that you had ever thought about what it would be like to kiss Satoru, but if you did, you would think Satoru would be a more playful kisser; this felt…oddly intimate.

If you had peeked your eyes open, you would have noticed that one of Satoru’s eyes was cracked open, staring into the camera.

“Ha ha, I’m gonna fuck your wife.”

“God…”

He bit back a moan as he pulled away from you; he couldn’t have you know he had been hard ever since you walked in. Wrapping his arms around your torso, he lifted you off his lap, placing you down onto the bed. His eyes briefly flickered over to the camera again; he felt so damn smug.

“Tell me what you wanna do first.”

“Uh-”

“Taking too long.”

His hands slid under your shirt, earning a gasp from you. He caressed the skin of your stomach, purring at how soft it was.

“Wow, you have to tell me what exfoliator you use.”

“Are we filming a comedy show?”

“No, it’s a sex tape.”

Before you could give a smart reply back, Satoru pinched your belly, laughing mischievously at your yelp. He slowly lifted your shirt up, revealing your soft stomach to his gaze.

“Cute.”

He murmured, bending down to pepper kisses around your belly button, which made you giggle again. The noise itself was music to his ears. His kisses trailed up, lingering just below where your shirt still covered your breasts. He stopped, peering up at you through his eyelashes.

“May I?”

Your breath hitched as you felt him lick a stripe along your skin. God, you needed him so badly. Feeling heat rush to your face, you nodded, your eyes flicking away in embarrassment.

“Say it.”

“Yes.”

Satoru lifted your shirt up farther, eyes widening as he discovered you weren’t wearing a bra. He lifted the shirt to rest right above your breasts, too impatient to take it off right now. His eyes shone with mischief as he brought his hands to your breasts, softly squeezing the flesh.

You couldn’t help but gasp; his hands were so big. You found yourself feeling slightly shy; Satoru Gojo was literally playing with your breasts right now; were you dreaming?

“Squishy!”

He chirped as he kneaded your breasts, eyes flickering over to meet yours as his face started to descend towards your chest. First, he stuck his tongue out, just lightly licking at your nipples, but your mind went blank. Just the small touch sent pleasurable shockwaves straight to your clit. When was the last time your husband had touched you like this? You couldn’t remember, and neither did you care at the moment.

“O…oh…”

Satoru took your small moan as his incentive to keep going. His lips latched around one of your nipples, sucking eagerly. He swirled his tongue around your hard little nub, occasionally flattening and lapping at it. He hummed, the vibrations sending pleasure buzzing throughout your body.

His mouth switched to your other nipple, leaving both shiny and sticky with his spit. Your quiet whimpers and whines were doing wonders for his ego, but he wanted more. He could feel precum already staining his boxers; if he was gonna cum in his pants from just sucking your nipples, he was never going to live it down.

“I wanna do so much to you…”

He mumbled as he lifted his head to look back at your face. He had imagined fucking you stupid so many times over the years; now that he had you, he wasn’t sure where to start.

“Wh…why’s your shirt still on?”

Your petty whine was met with a chuckle from Satoru, who brought his hand back to your breast, his pointer finger flicking your nipple around, which immediately sent a flurry of whines and gasps out your mouth. He was good at getting you to shut up.

“Technically, you’re shirt is still on…but I can change that.”

Helping you sit up a bit, Satoru slipped your shirt off completely, tossing it onto his bedroom floor. His own shirt followed the same fate. He thanked the heavens for his good genetics and vigorous gym routine because the way you were gawking at him made him feel like he was on top of the world.

“Take a picture; it’ll—er, I guess the recording should do.”

His mind blanked again, before him laid the woman his heart had been chasing for years, his pulse was going crazy, and he was so hard he felt his dick just might fall off. He wanted to take his time to explore you, find what made you moan loudest, arch your back, mind go blank. He hadn’t even taken off your pants, and he had already lost it.

“Take a picture; it’ll-”

His gawking was disturbed by your smart mouth, which he again quickly silenced by shoving his hand down your pants, feeling around blindly for your clit. It was quite easy with how the sensitive bud was poking through your panties—which were absolutely soaked to his delight.

“You’re this wet from just getting your tits sucked?”

Usually, you would have a smart-ass reply to dish back, probably about how you could totally tell he had been trying to hide his bulge since you walked into his apartment or how you could see himself staining his sweat pants, but it’s quite hard to form a coherent reply when your hot best friend is so sweetly rubbing your clit through your panties. It was as if the little bundle of nerves was being discovered for the first time.

“Nothin’ to say, hm?”

He paused for a moment, not only caressing your clit, but feeling the fabric of your underwear.

“Is this…lace?”

Using his free hand, Satoru grabbed the edge of your pants and tugged them down, revealing you to be wearing a pair of lace panties—burgundy. This tape was going to need a lot of editing how much marveling Satoru had been doing. His gaze connected back to yours; the look in his eyes was anything but sane. If his cock could talk, it would be screaming to be set free.

“Don’t let this go to your he-”

“Too late.”

Forgetting his strength, Satoru yanked your pants off, almost flinging you along with them to the floor.

In almost an instant, Satoru’s mouth was on you, sucking on your clit through your panties like he was a starved animal. His arms were hooked around your thighs, holding them apart as he feasted with reckless abandon.

“So…pretty…”

He swirled the tip of his tongue around your clothed clit, poking it through the fabric. He felt light-headed as if he was high on ecstasy. Your little whines were music to his ears; he hoped the camera was picking them up.

Satoru could tell you were growing impatient; the yanking of his hair was all the proof he needed. A part of him was hesitating, though. The thought of having his mouth on your bare pussy felt so damn intimate; sure, he had just had your nipples in his mouth a few minutes ago, but this was just next level.

Peering up at you from between your legs, Satoru hooked a finger around the hem of your panties, harshly pulling them upwards so they brushed up against your clit. Your folds were taut against the thin lace as Satoru kept your underwear yanked upwards. Keeping eye contact with you, Satoru let his tongue run up the material, dipping down into the clothed slit that had formed from him tugging up your lingerie. His tongue ran between the thin valley between your lips, slightly digging into the fabric.

“Satoru, just fucking take it off-”

He didn’t make you wait another second. In an instant, your panties were slid to the side, revealing your drooling slit to him for the first time. His eyes flickered over to the camera before returning to your cunt, a small smile spreading across his face.

“God, m’gonna…”

Satoru trailed off as he found the lucidness to slide your panties off, throwing them off to the side. His hands came to rest on your inner thighs, holding them open as he gazed at your glossy pussy. He knew he looked like a total pervert right now, but from how you were panting and squirming, Satoru was sure you didn’t exactly care as long as he did something soon.

How many times had you left his mind blank so far? It would be humiliating if you could hear the actual silence in his mind as he tried to think of what to do.

“Baby.”

The pet name caught you off-guard, baby? Satoru had always been one of your more affectionate friends, but this was new. You couldn’t ignore how the nickname made your pussy clench, and Satoru noticed. You tilted your head up to look at him between your legs.

“Baby, you’re driving me crazy. Are you sure you want this?”

You nodded a little too eagerly, but Satoru didn’t seem pleased.

“Yes, yes, m’sure.”

Satoru felt the last of his sanity leave him as his head sunk, mouth sloppily meeting your pussy. The second his lips touched yours, he let out a moan which sent vibrations straight to your clit. His hands pushed harder against your thighs as his mouth latched onto your aching cunt, practically making out with it.

“Baby, baby, oh my fucking god, you taste soooo good…”

His tongue squirmed its way into you, his eyes drooping as he lapped at your essence.

“So good, don’t ever wanna stop.”

His babble of praises went straight to your pussy, and he could feel you tightening around his tongue. It was as if he couldn’t get close enough to you; he shoved his face deeper between your legs, tongue playfully dragging between your entrance and clit.

“Mmm…f-fuck…”

Finally, pulling away from your cunt, Satoru sat up, bringing two fingers to your folds, spreading and holding them open for his viewing pleasure. He was panting; having you like this under him was literally making him forget how to breathe. Maybe that’s why he was so dizzy. Satoru watched as your poor little hole clenched around nothing, smalls traces of slick coating your pussy like gloss.

“You’re so wet…”

He rubs his fingers along your lips; he can practically scoop your wetness with his fingers. You can feel him start to rub tight circles on your clit, and your thighs refuse to stop shaking. You needed release so badly; all this exploring and teasing was making your muscles feel like they were going to slide right off your bones.

Satoru pushes in one finger, and you gasp, letting out whiny, high-pitched sounds when you feel him curl his finger up. You had always admired Satoru’s hands; they were so long and pretty, and now they were making you see stars. He adds another finger, and it’s as if the wind has been knocked out of you, you have to gasp for air. They feel so deep, stretching your walls out, and you instinctively want to close your legs, but Satoru is using his other hand to hold your other thigh down.

“No, baby, lemme make you feel good.”

Your gummy walls are pulsating around his long fingers, rubbing against spots you didn’t even know existed. Had your husband ever reached spots like these?

Satoru leaned down to whisper to you, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear.

“You wanna cum, yeah? Wanna cum all over your best friend’s fingers?”

You shouldn’t be this soaked from your best friend’s dirty words. He’s so deep, and it’s only his fingers.

“I can feel you clenching; you like that, don’t you?”

Continuing to pump his fingers into your eager hole, Satoru uses his free hand to maneuver your body, positioning you so your spread legs are in perfect light of the camera. In all honesty, you had temporarily forgotten about the sex tape, too drunk on chasing pleasure. Satoru had always been a creative spirit, and he wanted to make sure your husband could see the real angles. Glancing at the camera, Satoru contemplated whether he even wanted your husband to see this tape after all. A flash of jealousy rushed through him, but he quickly brushed it off; he had more important matters at hand—literally.

His fingers speed up inside of you, loud squelching noises echoing in the bedroom, and he can’t help but let out a smug smile. He had you so messy right now, your inner thighs coated with your own wetness.

“Poor baby, you’re so needy, aren’t you”?

The way he’s angling his fingers feels so deliciously good; you can’t help the way your mouth just falls open, gasps of his name rushing out. His thumb presses hard against your pulsating clit, and you nearly scream had you not been already out of breath, your orgasm rushing over you so suddenly you thought you were going to pass out—or see the heavens.

“So beautiful when you cum…”

Satoru murmured, his fingers continuing their relentless pace as you rode out your orgasm.

Your entire body felt limp, and you were sure you couldn’t will yourself to move after that mind-shattering orgasm. Satoru snaked his arm around your waist, the other sneaking to the back of your head so he could lift you up, sloppily slapping his lips to yours. He pulls you onto his lap, and you jerk away when you feel something wet on his sweatpants, the fuck was that? There’s a large wet spot across his crotch, and the dots slowly connect.

“Did you just-?”

“Shut up.”

The hand behind your hand brings your mouth back to his, your tongues sliding against each other as you messily make out. Your ego was sky high; you had made the arrogant Satoru Gojo cum in his pants—just from him watching you get off.

“M-mm…baby, need you so bad…”

Satoru groaned against your lips, hands roaming across your naked body. You were getting a little annoyed at how he was being so coy with keeping his clothes while you were fully naked. Your hand slithered down his chest, tracing his abs, making him sigh into the kiss. Arriving at the hem of his sweatpants, your fingertips just barely brushed against his bulge. Satoru flinched, his breath hitching as he pulled away, lips trailing down to your neck.

“You don’t understand how you ruin me.”

His breathless whisper against the column of your throat sends shivers down your body.

Gently, he shimmies you off his lap and quickly wrangles his soaked sweats down and off, boxers following soon after. His cock springs up like it’s happy to see you. He’s still leaking precum, and he’s so sensitive he’s sure he could cum just from you touching him. You’re a little shocked by how big it is. Satoru had always talked a big game, but you didn’t expect him to actually live up to it.

Noticing your surprised expression, Satoru chuckled and gently guided you back onto his lap. The proximity and lack of clothes between you two was making you woozy. On top of that, the feeling of his dick sliding up your stomach was giving you butterflies; you were genuinely contemplating whether that thing was actually going to fit inside of you. Going out via big dick didn’t sound too bad to be honest.

As if sensing your worries, Satoru pulls away, laying you back down on the mattress. He gently spreads your legs again, moving to be between them. He holds his cock, guiding it to lay down across your mound and tummy.

“See how deep m’gonna be in you?”

His cock just barely brushes against your clit, and you let out a blissful sigh. Satoru lifted your legs, holding your ankles with one hand as he rested them on his shoulders. You could feel his cock just hovering over your clit, sending a slight but sharp buzz throughout your body.

“F-fuck…baby, I-I…”

Satoru whimpered, gasping as he fucked your plushy thighs. He was so close to just being inside you, so close to having you as he had dreamed for so many years. Unraveling your legs from his shoulder, he spreads them apart and pushes them down to your chest.

He feels crazy; all his muscles are completely tense, and his mouth won’t move properly to form words. It’s as if he’s drunk, and it’s all because of you. He’s sliding his thick length across your slit, small little gasps leaving him as he tries to formulate his thoughts.

“Baby, baby, baby, lemme put it in—pleasepleaseplease.”

Your nodding, mumbling “yes, yes, yes,” among other words and random babble. Satoru whines as he positions his cock at your entrance, hands slightly shaking as he rubs his tip against your sticky folds.

You cry out at the way he stretches your walls. It feels so good, and your pussy is sucking him in, hugging his cock like it’s in love with him. Inch by inch, he’s stretching you out so well you feel like you’re floating.

“H-hngh…you’re so tight…”

He wasn’t even all the way in yet, and he felt like he was going to cum immediately. He moans, sheathing himself inside you in a slow thrust. He pauses, basking in the feeling of your pussy clenching him like it never wanted to let go. He feels like he’s going to collapse, so instead, he leans down, caging you between his forearms.

“S-Satoru…”

He’s so big, filling you up so good you could cry from pleasure. Satoru can feel his dick crying from how you moan his name. He starts moving, each thrust slow, but oh so deep you can feel him in your throat. You feel the breath of his panting as he leans down close to your face to give you a kiss, it’s sloppy, but neither of you gives a damn. His hips move against yours, and you don’t even remember the camera in the corner of the room, not when you’re getting the best fuck of your life; what even was your husband’s name?

His lips trail down from your mouth to your neck, sucking dark lovebites as he continues to thrust into you without hesitation. He doesn’t care if you have a husband who is definitely going to see these marks, he’s fucking the love of his life, and that’s all that matters to him.

“Mmm…you like it when I fuck you like this, don’t you, baby?”

You let out a sudden gasp when you feel Satoru suck your nipple into his mouth, circling his tongue around your nub like it was candy. All the combined sensations have your cunt clenching; all you can do is nod, arching your back and pushing your nipple into his mouth. Satoru just continues to suck eagerly, alternating between your two nipples.

“Your stupid fucking husband doesn’t know how to fuck you right, who would deny pussy this good?”

Your eyes snap to the camera, which is still recording. Your mouth is slightly parted, and nothing but moans and whimpers of Satoru’s name escapes. You should feel disgusted with yourself, but instead, you’re squeezing Satoru even harder.

“B-baby, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing th-that…”

He rests his forehead against yours, cock still fucking into you, but he’s going faster, and you can feel the heat in your abdomen about to boil over. Your pussy was making embarrassingly loud wet noises as he continued fucking you like his life depended on it. Angling himself, Satoru brings his hand to your abdomen, pressing just under your belly button.

“You feel me here? Feel me filling you up?”

He’s insane and you’re about to cum. Satoru can tell that you’re nearing your peak; instinctively, you try and push yourself away, but Satoru keeps you grounded, whispering into your ear.

“No, no, baby, you deserve this, lemme take you there.”

Satoru doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before your vision goes white, your hole pulsates, and your orgasm washes over you. It feels hot and cold; everything is too much, and yet just enough at the same time. You’re babbling, crying, and whining his name as he continues thrusting into your sloppy cunt.

“So beautiful, so p-perfect…”

He would have loved to hold on a little longer, but Satoru’s own orgasm soon follows, ropes of warm cum shooting into you, coating your walls and painting them white. His hips stuttered, cock plugging you up, and he slowly comes to a stop. The room was filled with your shared panting, and Satoru gave in, forearms giving out as he collapsed on you.

“Just…let’s just stay like this for a while…”

You could feel his cock softening inside of you, his heated breath on your neck, as well as your skin sticking to his in the suddenly humid feeling room. Satoru rolled to the side so he wouldn’t suffocate you and pulled you closer, his strong arms caging you in. You could feel his cock swirl inside of you from the movement and felt your breath suddenly dip, one more orgasm, and you would probably go unconscious. His white hair tickled your nose as he nuzzled his face into your neck, his lips sticking to the skin of your throat.

How did you get here again?

You just had sex with your best friend, and recorded it. You glanced at the camera in the corner of the room, which was still recording this oddly intimate moment.

Fuck it, it’s fine.

OKAY, BACK TO EARTH HORNY FUCKS.

tumblr debut...I have no idea how this app works, I've never written anything like this before, and I'm panicking.

LMFAOOO IDK HELLO GUYS!!!

this is also another part to the 10k special (if anyone who doesn't know me sees this, I'm from Janitor AI, I hit 10k there, not here 😭)

thank you to all my j.ai babies! Please excuse any mistakes, I'm rusty cause j.ai forces me to only write from the char's pov, so help me godddd

"when are you making this into a j.ai bot?" ahahaha...

anyways, there'll probably be a part two to this fic

hope this wasn't complete shit, and thank you for 10k on j.ai!

AND THANK YOU TO @ilumibunz AND @kaeyasblvd FOR BETA READING (and watching me go crazy)

[frozenmoonshine]

TR boys' unexpected/random red flags headcanon:

Just some crack and slander for the humor purposes. As always, don't take it too seriously, and have fun with it at least half as much as I did writing it!

Since I obviously need to spell this out for some of you, even though it's literally in the title of the post - these are the red flags you wouldn't normally expect from them! That's the whole point of them being unexpected. So don't go telling me how I missed the mark with some characters, or how their red flags are something else. Yeah, we all know the obvious ones, but why would I state the obvious?!

TW: F!reader; implied mysogyny; mentions of DV, cheating, and general toxic behavior.

🚩Mikey - proposes on the second date.

🚩Draken - never talks about himself whatsoever. Even when you directly ask him to open up about what's troubling him, he's still difficult and avoids conversation.

🚩Baji - mama's boy. At first, it looks sweet, how he cares about and respects his mother, but soon you realize that he is dependant on her, and cannot make any decisions bigger than what to eat on his own, without "consulting with his mom". Silver lining is that Ryouko is an amazing, lovely woman, but you don't exactly want to date both the mother and the son at the same time, do you?

🚩Chifuyu - overromanticizes everything, then gets mad at you if things don't turn out irl the same they were in his imagination.

🚩Mitsuya - really damn cheap. Like, ok, I know you grew up poor, but going out once a month won't bankrupt you! (You're not even asking him to pay for you or anything like that, but he just refuses to step even one milimeter out of his frugal ways!)

🚩Hakkai - aside from the obvious red flag (you get a package deal of Yuzuha and Mitsuya as well, if you are dating Hakkai), he can also be incredibly self-absorbed and condescending sometimes, thinking he's so much better than you, etc.

🚩Pah-chin & 🚩Peh-yan - putting them together cause they have the same red flag - if you date one of them, the other one will third wheel all of your dates, no exeptions. Might as well just go poly and date them both at this point!

🚩Smiley - refers to women as "females".

🚩Angry - doesn't let you do anything on your own/overprotective. Look, Souya, it's nice that you're being a gentleman, but do you really think I'm incapable of getting a glass of water for myself?! His behaviour can be incredibly stifling and suffocating.

🚩Mucho - won't ever let you pick a date spot cause he's convinced he knows the best. You always end up doing what he wants for dates, or you don't go on a date at all.

🚩Haruchiyo - yeah, sure, he's got more red flags than China, but the not so expected one is that he's incredibly fussy and naggy about the smallest of things. "That's not how you put the trash bag in the can!" "You folded the laundry wrong! Look how I do it!" "Wipe the counter with this, not that!" "Don't leave your hair everywhere! I don't wanna live with a cat!" And so on and so forth, it feels like you are living with your parent(s) all over again!

🚩Hanma - another one with enough red flags to call it a carnival, sure, but the one that catches you off guard is just how jealous and possessive he is. "Where are you going?" "Why is your dress so short?" "You can't go out with male company wearing your tits out!" "Why are you hiding your phone?" "Who's that?" and so on and so forth, you get the idea.

🚩Kazutora - yet another walking red flag in a row (at least his unhealed self), but even as an adult (healed) he still retains that aggression from his teens and gets into random street/bar fights semi-regularly. Him coming back home bloody and bruised is not a rare occurrence at all.

🚩Kisaki - cheats. No idea how he manages to, provided that he looks like... well, that, but he still does.

🚩Taiju - a religious freak prone to domestic violence... what more red flags can you even ask for? None, indeed. But what you don't expect on top of all that is his complete lack of manners and just how loud and embarrassing he can be in public.

🚩Inupi - rude to the waitstaff.

🚩Koko - never got over his ex, stuck on her forever, and cannot ever be fully present in his current relationship. Compares you to his ex all the time, every other person he dated after her was just an unsuccessful rebound.

🚩Izana - does he even have any green ones? Likely not. But what you wouldn't exactly expect from him right away, given all the other red flags that come into front upon the first contact - is that he's a bad mansplainer. "You probably don't know how the betta fish do this thing where..." - Izana, I'm literally a marine biologist.

🚩Kakuchou - breaks up with you over the smallest things. He missed your call cause he didn't hear his phone ring while in the traffic? - He's not good enough for you and you two should break up. He was late 5 minutes to your date because Izana needed his help with something? - He's lowkey ready to commit seppuku, and of course, dramatically breaks up with you. It's tiring, honestly.

🚩Ran - gaslighter and manipulator par exellence! Undiagnozed NPD, but the symptoms are everywhere.

🚩Rindou - loves the gym more than you. Obsessed with working out and body building, won't eat normal food, spends all time in front of the mirror flexing and "checking his gains". Will either try to "get you into fitness" (force you to act the same way he does) or constantly tell you that you "don't understand" just how important it is to him. Is your 10th workout this week really more important than our anniversary, tho, Rindou?

🚩Mocchi - manspreads all the time, and manspreads badly. He's also that type that won't move away from the sidewalk if a woman is coming the opposite way.

🚩Madarame - probably not unexpected, but he's the biggest, worst incel of all. Lives in the manosphere and inhales the alpha bro bullshit podcasts.

🚩South - judges and publicly makes fun of your music taste. It doesn't matter what you listen to, unless it's 101% exactly the same as his taste, he'll be a real bitch about it. Of course, don't even dream about getting a hold of the aux cord!

🚩Shinichiro - doesn't shower regularly. Idk Shin, maybe your lack of personal hygiene was the reason for all those rejections so far? Just some food for thought...

🚩Takeomi - yet another one that's redder than the red army, but what you don't expect is how much he infantilizes you, especially if you are younger than him! Even if it's just one year age difference between you, he'll act all patronizing and constantly emphasise his "rich life experience" and tell you how "you don't understand some things because you are (too) young".

🚩Wakasa - secretly insecure about his height and gets super jealous if he sees you talking to a tall guy. Doesn't even matter if it's your blood relative or a random stranger asking directions in the street - Waka isn't having any of that. He'll sulk and jab at you for the whole day, never saying what the actual problem is.

🚩Benkei - Cannot find/keep a proper job to save his life! Got into some kind of beef with every single potential employer, so he's doomed to working at the gym for the rest of his days.

[malarign]

riki as your boyfriend!

(soft moments with him)

contains: bf!Riki x gn!reader | genre: fluff | tw! kissing (lmk if i forgot about something!) | wc: 1,4k

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreaciated!!!

author’s note: idrk that he said he would confess in a cool way, here he is a soft and shy baby </3

other members’ versions: LHS - PJS - SJY - PSH - KSW - YJW

➶ watching horrors together only to have you in his arms *ೃ༄

As much as Riki didn’t want to admit it was one of his favorite feelings in the whole world. Especially if you were scared and wanted to be as close to him as it’s physically possible. That’s why he enjoyed watching horror movies with you. He exactly knew what reaction he could expect from you, so it was your go-to movie genre whenever you had a movie night together. The way you buried your face in his chest or neck made his heart flutter and cheeks flush with a bright blush which he tried to cover up by laughing and teasing you.

“Do we really have to watch that?” you asked tucking on his sleeve.

“It’s a really good movie, Y/nah, you’re going to like it,” he reassured you, knowing damn well what your reactions are gonna be.

You silently read the description. Of course, a horror movie. What else could Riki pick? You bit your lips, mentally preparing for all the jumpscares and awful characters that await you.

None of you were wrong. For the first 30 minutes of the movie when nothing really happened you thought it was not going to be as bad as you thought, only for the worst to show up on the screen. You flinched at the loud sound and sudden jumpscare and tugged at his arm this time, earning a laugh from him. Your reactions were in his eyes none but endearing, they also made him want to protect you at all costs.

Without saying a word you cuddled to him, seeking comfort in his arms and calming scent. Riki just wrapped his arms around you, occasionally rubbing your back when other scary scenes showed up.

“You’re such a baby,” he spoke and added quickly seeing your fake mad expression. “My baby.”

➶ wearing your hair tie on his wrist *ೃ༄

Being the forgetful person you are you often kept on either losing small stuff like hair ties, which to be honest wasn’t very comfortable, especially on windy days. You would curse yourself for not taking anything to tie or pin your locks with. That’s when Riki comes to the rescue. Knowing your habit he kept on one hair tie on his wrist just in case you forgot one. Sometimes he would even offer to tie them for you, gently brushing through them with his fingers or a comb.

Looking down at you struggling with your hair Riki couldn’t contain his smile. The wind had no mercy on you today, making your locks go in all the different directions possible. When you were on the verge of fuming he silently walked behind you taking all your hair in his hands. He gently brushed through them, careful not to hurt you. He tied them with a hair tie he kept on his wrist into a comfortable low ponytail that you were so used to.

“Thank you,” you spoke sweetly and looked up at him.

“No problem,” he said, returning your baby tone to you.

You climbed on your toes to plant a quick kiss on his lips leaving him blushing at unexpected affection. You took his hand firmly

➶ face lighting up when he sees you *ೃ༄

This is something Riki just can’t help with. Whenever he is waiting for you at home, or you just ran at each other, he can’t contain his big and bright smile. Watching as his eyes slowly disappear and his face lifts at your sight make your heart feel warm and skip a beat or two. In the beginning, he tried to contain himself but with time it began to be even more difficult, so he just gave up, showing how much he was whipped for you.

Riki waited for you a little bit longer than usual and started to get pretty impatient and mad. He took his phone out of his pocket to call you when he noticed you waving at him from the distance and shouting his name.

“Riki!”

He didn’t even notice when a smile crept on his face. Was it your excited expression? Was it the way his name sounded in your lips? Or was it just because you were his favorite person? He didn’t know, but what he did know was how your body hit his when you ran excitedly to him. He wrapped his arms around you, all the thoughts about you being late disappearing immediately.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” you said breathlessly.

“It’s okay,” he responded quietly, tucking a lone strand of your hair behind your ear. Dreamy gaze and a loving smile never leaving his lit-up face.

➶ doodling on your palm *ೃ༄

Having a soft spot for you and drawing seemed like a perfect match since you never had any objections against him doodling on your skin. The feeling of a pen dancing on your skin and Riki’s focused facial expression made you smile every time he did that. Without noticing your hand would be covered with cute drawings, either portraying small symbols or his favorite characters from animations.

If one thing could tell you Riki was getting bored of a movie or TV series you’ve been watching it was definitely him grabbing a pen and drawing small patterns on your palm.

“Do you want to watch something else?” you asked pausing the movie you were dying for months to watch.

“No, no, it’s okay, I know how much you wanted to watch it,” he responded nonchalantly.

“You sure? We can watch something else,” you suggested but he shook his head in disapproval.

“I’m sure, are you okay with me drawing on your hand though?”

“Was I ever not okay with it?” you asked and raised your eyebrow with a smile.

He just smiled to himself and continued drawing on your arm stunning small symbols and characters, soon covering it all, not leaving any spot.

➶ tying your shoelaces *ೃ༄

If he could erase any of your traits it would definitely be your forgetfulness which unfortunately didn’t limit to only forgetting things. Living in a hurry often made you forget the most trivial things like eating your meals or tying your shoelaces. By now Riki developed a habit of always checking the state of your shoes before heading to your destination. He could count how many times you almost tripped really badly because of them. At first, he found it cute and quite funny but now whenever he sees them undone he just shakes his head and kneels to tie them for you.

„Your shoelaces are undone,” Riki remarked as he pointed to your feet.

You followed his gaze and just shrugged.

“It’s okay,” you said and squeezed his hand slightly.

Soon you were stopped by his firm posture. He looked at you with an expression that talked for itself. He shook his head and sighed kneeling in front of you. The sight of it took you aback wondering what he was up to, only to find out he wanted to tie your shoes for you.

“You keep on tripping over because of them and still manage to say it’s okay?” he asked rhetorically fingers still busy with your shoelaces.

“Thank you,” you simply said, flustered by his gesture and care.

Soon he stood up, now again towering above you. He took your hand gently in his with a smile and guided you to your destination.

➶ having pillow fights *ೃ༄

You could think he would give you some head start but nothing could be further from the truth. He would put the use of his long hours at the gym and have no mercy in beating your ass in pillow fights. Of course, it didn’t mean he would put too much force into them but just enough to leave both of you hysterically laughing at the way you lose miserably. He would always top them out with a sweet kiss either on your forehead or lips.

When you agreed on another sleepover with Riki you knew what you signed up to. He could greet to with the sweetest smile and gentle kiss but that wouldn’t stop him from tackling you down in a fierce feathery battle. And today was no different from other times. You were currently losing against your boyfriend, while both of you laughed loudly.

“I can’t breathe, please stop Riki!” you begged for him to stop. Riki always seemed to know when you were serious and when it was playful. Sensing you needed a break he threw his weapon to the other side of the bed. He cupped your cheeks and left tickling kisses on your eyelids, forehead, and finally lips.

“Rest for a bit. I’m not done beating your weak ass.”

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

permanent taglist: (send an ask to be added) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @kpopstanmeg, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl, @edensgardenn (in bold can’t be tagged)

[yooglefics]

Reveal — Part one: recording

Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader ( camboy!yoongi x camgirl!reader ) Wordcount: 2,198 words Genre: smut. 18+. mdni. don't use fanfics as your only source of sex ed, pls. Summary: your friend convinced you to record an audio for your OF, but doing it alone is nerve-wracking so you turn to your favorite creator for help.

Includes: Mentions of selling sex content. Mentions of sexual activity ( doing things and also talking about doing things ). Implicit masturbation instructions. Masturbation ( f and m ) ( wash your hands before putting them anywhere, folks ). People filming/recording sex acts. Use of pet names? ( baby, doll ). Dirty talk. Mentions of Jungkook x fem!reader but they are just frieeends. Author's note: I started writing this with hopes of it just being alright because I wanted to write something quick but then it got longer and here we are. Hope you like it! If you do please remember to leave a comment, reblog, ask, follow and what not. Thank you for reading <3

It's been six months since you started this side job. At first, it was a combination of curiosity and a little desperation since money was tight after your roommate and best friend decided to go back to live with her parents. You didn't complain too much about it because you didn't want her to feel bad, and besides, you actually missed having your own space. 

But lonely nights with insomnia thanks to the stress at work, let you to explore sides of the internet you had only heard about in bathroom conversations. Curiosity got the best of you and so, here you are, going through comments on your last onlyfans post.

You've been able to grow a decent-sized audience, it may be a bit small to others but it’s manageable and you like that. Some of them are people you followed before, during your investigation stage, and now became your mutuals. You truthfully see them as your friends, like Jungkook.

He was the first person with quite a big audience who followed you back and you truly believe half your followers came from his page, even though he denies it and tells you it is all your doing. He really has a way of lifting your confidence and that's why after a few months you meet in person to shoot things together, nothing too spicy, just a shoot with Calvins and denim jackets. You were surprised when he didn't suggest something more than that, but Jungkook said “You're too sweet to fuck in a first meeting, but maybe later”.

You thought he was just partially joking, although a few meetings have passed and he hasn't tried anything. To be honest, is a bit disappointing since he is so attractive, but at least he is still willing to help you with fun photoshoots in your apartment.

A comment in the picture where Jungkook’s hand is around your throat caught your eye. When you suggested it, it was funny. A silly little joke about what people thought actually happened behind the scenes and a way to hide your face from the camera.

When you saw it after, it was less funny and much hotter. Even if he wasn't applying pleasure on your neck, the muscles on his forearm were visible under the ink, the lighting and shadows reflected on the skin of your chest that wasn't covered by the cami top you were wearing that day, and your gold babygirl collar sat perfectly on top of your breast.

You couldn't be mad at the people saying they wished to be in your place. You were jealous of yourself, damn it.

That's why the comment popped out between the others, because it was jealousy of Jungkook they were talking about.

[ JustADude: “Fuck. He is the luckiest man alive if he gets to hold you and listen to all your pretty sounds.” ]

Cheeks blushing, you giggle thinking about how Jungkook hasn't done those things. But you have to admit that the idea of people being interested in hearing is a turn on. And maybe it shouldn't be a surprise considering taking pictures for others does but… could you… ?

Your phone rings, indicating a text and interrupting your thoughts.

Kookie: told you, a voice reveal would be amazing!!

You laugh at the attached image been of the comment you were just reading.

Y/n: but i'm shyyyyy

Kookie: you can just record a masturbating session Kookie: and review it and decide if you post it or not

Y/n: if i review it i’ll not post it lol

Is true. You'll get too much in your head and shy away.

Y/n: i barely go over pics before posting because of it

You remember him as if he didn't check your newest pictures for you.

Kookie: i can help too! Kookie: i mean Kookie: no pressure, ofc Kookie: but it would be SOOO HOT

Not sure if it's for the idea of recording yourself or the fact that Jungkook is encouraging you, but your pussy reacts to the words on screen and is settled. You are doing it.

Following the suggestion of just recording a session, you prepare as usual, sitting cross-legged on your bed, laptop in front while looking for something… inspiring.

You think about maybe looking through Jungkook’s page, rewatching his last video, but at the end get too paranoid about him listening to himself in the background even if your mic is hooked up in your bra strap, as closest as it can to your mouth.

So, you think of something else. The image of a hand around your throat still fresh in your mind leads you to the page of someone whose hands you've been thinking about in many other sessions. SugaD.

A few taps on your keyboard and his page is flashing on your screen, those exact veiny hands greeting you on his last post.

“Oh, well… here goes nothing.” 

Embracing yourself, you turn on your mic, giving a few taps to make sure it’s working, “hi,” a nervous giggle echoes your room, suddenly making you aware of the silence and glad you'll have noise beside your own.

Inspecting better Suga's post, you realize is an announcement for his last video, and the line “for all those asking for more hand porn, i got you ;)” feels like is calling you out, but you can start feeling the need between your legs so there's just so much shame and fucks to give left.

A few more clicks and the video is on full screen, starting with an empty black leather chair and then Suga coming into frame and sitting down. His face is not visible as in any other video, but following the movements of his hand, you realize his neck is. Pale skin in contrast with black t-shirt.

“This angle is kinda…” he trails off, soft laugh at the end.

“Hot,” you complete, confident Jungkook will, after laughing at you, delete it from the final audio. 

“You can't tell me I'm mean anymore. I'm spoiling you,” Suga continues in the video, “I'm giving you this view and I'm giving you what's probably the thing you all ask the most for: hands.”

And there they are. His goddamn hands. Close frame and adorned with silver rings in a few fingers. And when he turns them around you can admire how veiny and manly they are.

“I hate him. I'm gonna sue him,” you murmur, because in the month you have been following him, something you've come to find out is that Suga always knows what he is doing. He knows that jiggling his fingers and making the accessories click, paint a picture on people's minds. He knows how to dirty talk without making it cringe. And, more than anything, knows how to tease and keep his audience on their toes. 

You turn the volume down a bit more to make sure it really isn’t audible through your mic.

“Are you sitting, doll? Imagine you're on my lap right now,” he pats his tights and finally you move, positioning yourself on your knees as if you were, as he suggested, straddling him.

“That view would be amazing. You right here,” he pretends to hold someone by their hips in front of him and yours play pretend on your own body, moving them up and down as he does. “Maybe I'd tease you first, play with your tits, your nipples first. Why don't you do that, baby? Touch yourself for me.”

Letting out a groan is your way to express frustration against the fabric covering your chest, unable to remove your bra so the mic stays in the right place. Controlling your breath, you focus on the video again. Suga is playing with himself, hand against his chest just like yours, “How does it feel?” 

“I want you to touch me,” you whisper. And clearly, you know he is not able to hear you, and you're scared you'd sound like an idiot at the end, but you figure this is your chance to experiment being a bit vocal. After all, this whole thing is supposed to be a voice reveal, not just moans. 

Although, it's quite difficult not to do it with the sight on screen. “Look what you do to me,” he complains, voice raspy and hand traveling south to the bulge on his joggers.

“Are you hard?” You cringe at that one. Shaking your head to not let it get to much on your head and sending everything to the trash. Breathing, your right hand mirrors his actions and travels down your body. 

He gropes himself with a groan and you moan just at the sound. Imagine a smirk on his face as you cup yourself through your underwear. The lace is so thin is impossible to hide the fact you're already so wet. 

Another moan and you debate on skipping a few seconds on the video since you need him to do something. Give you anything.

But he is a teaser. 

He strokes through layers of fabric even when his own noises let it be known is torture for him. “I wonder…” he breathes, “how much clothes do you have? Are you dressed like I am, or are you completely naked?” His hips thrust up, into his hand and he pulls it away. “Would you come by just grinding on my cock?”

“F-fuck,” you moan when he intentionally bucks his hips upward, veins on his hands popping up when he holds into the chair. You hate him, you really do. Because he is holding back and you just want to see him.

“Please, please,” and as if it were even possible he hears you, he takes his dick in one hand and out of his pants.

You moan in appreciation and finally allow your hand to sneak into your panties too. The much desired contact makes your legs feel like jelly for a second and you have to sit back on your heels while the guy on screen keeps driving you insane.

His hand moves up and down his length, thumb collecting precum at the tip and using it as lubricant, but when that is not enough, his hand disappears off the frame, up to his face. The sound is enough to help with the imagination and quickly he is back in business.

Your eyes are fixed on every movement, every sound. Your hand matches his speed and you don't know what is hotter, the wet skin sounds or the bracelet on his wrist? Because the silver chain moves as fast or even faster and makes a sound of its own. Ah, it is so impossible for you not to imagine what it would be to look at it from your perspective. If the fingers in your pusy were his.

You push into yourself, your breath caught at the sensation before adding another one, “ooh… oh.” 

Can't master more than a few sounds, your mouth dry, it has been open since he uncovered himself. Oh, what would you do to have him in your mouth at least once. 

“The things I'd do to you.” The recording continues, “And I bet you would let me, no questions asked, right?”

“S-so good,” your knees dig into your bed and you're glad you follow Jungkook's advice of protecting your duvet with a towel. “It feels so good, oh god.” 

“Are you using your fingers? A toy? Would you like my dick instead?” He laughs breathlessly, “I would like to feel your pussy too. F-fuck, I'd fuck you so good, baby. Don’t you think so?”

“Uh uh,” short moans leave your lips, the palm of your hand rubbing on your clit before going back to back and forth motions. Fingering yourself and your eyes close as you enjoy the pleasure, and let more noises flow.

When you open them again Suga on screen has his other hand around his neck, head tilted back. Is not choking him, but you assume he is into that. “Oh… f-fu… pleasee,” he is going to be the end of you. How can you not imagine being on top of him, riding him, your hand on his throat or maybe his on yours. “I'm… oh, I'm…” a loud moan interrupts your announcement as you cum practically riding your hand. 

There's silence. Well, your breathing is fast and the mic most likely will pick it up, but you try to compose yourself for a few seconds while looking at the blank screen that indicates Suga finished too. He never shows it on camera and the only indication he did is the aftermath, this time, on his black t-shirt when he says his “you did great, kitten” to sign off.

The next day Jungkook sends you the audio archive as promised. And is up on your page as fast as possible, it doesn't matter if it doesn't get attraction for a few hours because it's too early on the day, but if you think about it too much, you'd scratch the whole idea.

But not a minute passes and you have notifications of a new follower and a comment.

[ SugaD now follows you ] [ SugaD: the cutest. ]

➪ Part two. | ➪ Part three. | ➪ Updates for this verse | ➪ Ko-fi

➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats ♡

Edit: i forgoooot! If you want to be tagged on part 2 or future projects let me know <3

Edit 2: I made a post with different options for tag lists in case anyone is interested. You know, for future projects and stuff. But don't feel preassure to request it, and thank you for following this mini series.

[sugar-omi]

Thought about accidentally sending a nude to Cove (or anyone of your choice) 👀

Like MC was trying to send him a picture of something else but accidentally tapped on a nude they took the night before and WHOOPS! Now Cove is going back and forth with himself between typing up a reply and deleting what he wrote and just screaming into his pillow because he just saw his best friend/crush naked and it’s still on his phone screen and he has to see them tomorrow because they always do but he doesn’t know if it’ll be better to see each other tomorrow or wait a bit until things are “less awkward” and he is BURSTING at the seams

Bonus if he feels guilty because he saves the photo anyways for………….. research purposes 👀

MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN. I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO GO THAT WAY....

that's such a good thought, though... especially if while he's fumbling, you're freaking out, but also way too curious to know what he'll say so you don't delete it...

and in a moment of bravery, text him before he can say anything to your apology or about the image.. "although.. you can keep it if you like"

his eyes FALL out his head. what do you mean he can keep the image?!?;!^!

he probably doesn't even respond. and if he does, it's just a "it's okay" because he's too shaken to say anything else. doesn't know what to say. "you look pretty", "you're so sexy", "thanks for the nude"????

which.. is probably worse than any of those options if you're already nervous n floundering over te accident.

if you want a bit more satisfaction, are genuinely worried you made him uncomfortable, or just reassurance for what you already know... go ahead and ask if he's uncomfortable, or mad at you, or whatever.

it takes a minute but eventually you get a "...no, im not upset.. or uncomfortable..."

please move on after that because if you linger on the topic anymore, he'll be on life support 🙏

and he does hold onto that image... can't bring himself to download it, that's too much for his poor heart. and even though it'd only be proper to delete the message.. he doesn’t. he tries, his finger hovering over the button.

even though you said he could... keep it. he shouldn't, right? no matter how long he sits in turmoil, his respect for you and his teenage hormones raging against each other...

eventually one wins, because he's been so restless all day. his stomach twisting with something foreign. his eyes wandered to your body when he saw you at the beach that day, and he remembered the picture, trying to ignore how his sex throbbed and the subsequent tightening of his shorts...

really, he has more control than this usually. his voice of reason, more like selfconsciousness, too strong.

but his fingers flicker across his phone, and they find the way back to that image, that damn image that's been haunting him. his brain begging him to remember every curve and dip, freckle, and scar on your body.

he knows what your body looks like, you grew up together. he knows where most of your beauty marks are, your freckles, your scars, knows if your skin is seamless, and he's sleepily traced any acne scars on your biceps.

he knows the shape of you, the leanness and the cords of muscle in your arms and thighs. recognizes you just by looking at your back.

so it's not hard for him to imagine your nude body after that, especially since he couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen fast enough when you sent it.

and even now, he's finding any of those hidden treasures right now as his eyes rake over your body, his hand wrapping around his cock as he shamefully imagines you with him. touching him. touching you.

imagines his lips on your hip bones, kissing your body like it's a prayer.

your voice is always so clear in his ears, he can't help but imagine the way you'd call his name... thinks back to all the times you've laughed happily or groaned tiredly, or moaned in pain...

his mind twists the knowledge of you, your lovely voice, and your heavenly touch. imagines you calling his name, gasping at his touch...

finally spills his cum all over his hand, his head collapsing on his pillow, covers his face, sparks of pleasure still running through him...

realizes post nut clarity is fucking real, and he doesn't know how he's gonna be able to look at you tomorrow...

[jeysmullet]

Hi hun! Could I request for a Jey fic where reader is engaged to Jey, but gets mad when she read that he had invited Sexxy Red to be his VIP guest and he makes it up to her. Smut or fluff, you decide!

Love your writing!

fuck my baby daddy.

jey uso x fiancé!fem!reader.

warnings: jey being an idiot, smut, the tiniest bit of exhibitionism (but not really), praise kink, and finally fluff!!

hope you enjoy it bookie 💋. @bebesobrielo

xoxo vaeh.

y/n l/n pov.

Upset can’t describe how i’m feeling right now. Joshua decided it would be a good idea to invite no other than mrs fuck my baby daddy herself, Sexyy Red, to be his vip guest.

“hey mrs fatu,” i heard from someone in front of me. I looked up before locking eyes with Trinity’s. I rolled my eyes laughing before shaking my head.

“girl what’s wrong, you look off?” she spoke as she sat in the chair beside me.

“you’re fucking brother in law is what’s wrong.” i sighed as i ran my hands over my face.

“lord, what did thing two do now?” she shook her head. i didn’t say anything as i just unlocked my phone before showing her the twitter post.

“sexyy red?? what the fuck do he got going on.” she semi-yelled as she read the post.

“girl he got me fucked all the way up, entirely.” i spoke as i placed my phone back into my lap.

“oh girl. i know exactly what you can do.” Trinity said before grabbing my phone &’ tweeting something.

i looked at her after she hit post and smirked as we made eye contact.

｡ﾟ•┈୨time♡skip୧┈• ｡ﾟ

“FUCK MY BABY DADDY??” Jon flinched as he heard his twin brother yell. Jon turned around looking at Josh with wide eyes.

“uce what the hell wrong with you, yelling in my damn ear like that.” Jon said shaking his head before having a phone shoved in his face by Josh.

Jon laughed as he saw what his brother was yelling over. his soon to be sister in law had tweeted out, “fuck my baby daddy” and Josh was freaking out.

“damn uce, what did you do?” The older twin asked as he watched his younger brother pace back and forth.

“man uce, i don’t kno-“ Jon looked at his brother trying to understand why he cut hisself off. Josh’s eyes widened as he came to a realization.

“Sexyy, that’s why.” Josh said sighing as his brother looked at him confused.

“i invited her to be my vip guest and i guess y/n found out.” Josh continued as he ran his hands down his face.

“dumbass,” Jon mumbled before getting smacked in the back of the head.

“not the time Jonathan. i need help.” Jey sighed.

“alright uce , just calm down. i’ll call trin.” Jon speaks as he pulls out his phone before going to his wife’s contact and calling her.

“hey baby,” Trinity’s voice spoke from the phone.

“hey baby, look josh-“ Jon started to speak before the phone got snatched out of his hand.

“trin please i need your help, what did i do?” Josh spoke fast as he held the phone.

“well josh, we can start off by bringing up the fact you invited sexyy red to be your vip guest without warning your fiancé and now she’s upset because she found out from twitter instead of her fiancé.”

Josh could pass out from how stupid he felt at that moment. of course he was going to tell y/n about it, he just never got the chance to.

“shit trin, what do i do to make it up to her?”

“surprise her, take her to dinner and tell her why you didn’t tell her yet i guess.”

“thanks trin, i owe you.” Josh hung up the phone before handing it back to his brother.

“i’ll be right back.” Josh grabbed his phone and sped out of their shared locker room.

Josh passed by multiple superstars on the way to the women’s locker room. Some were confused on where he was rushing to and some had an idea on what was happening.

Josh stood outside the women’s locker room before knocking. He stood there for a minute before Nia Jaxx opened the door.

“Yo can you tell y/n i need to talk to her.”

Nia nods before closing the door again, only for it to open again a few seconds later to reveal an annoyed looking y/n.

“what josh?”

“listen baby i know how this seems but i promise you i was gonna tell you but every time i tried to one of us had something to do.”

Y/n sighed as she stepped further into the hallway closing the locker room door behind her. She grabs Josh’s hand before dragging him to an empty corner.

“I know we’re busy Josh but i wish you would’ve told me instead of me finding out from twitter. you know how twitter mixes things up.”

“I know baby but please believe me. i was gonna tell you.”

“i do believe you josh.”

“oh thank God.” Josh sighed out in relief as Y/n laughs.

“well i still want to make it up to you, let me take you out to dinner after the show tonight. it’s been a while since i’ve treated you to a night out.”

“okay Josh.” Y/n says as she smiles and leans up to place her lips onto Josh’s.

Josh smirks as the two engage in a heated make out session. His hands traveled down her body before reaching her ass. He smacked it before picking her up and placing her on a crate beside them.

Y/n leans her head to the side as Josh kisses her down her neck before going back to her lips.

The two were so lost in one another that they didn’t see Jon standing at the corner. Jon cleared his throat making the two jump.

“Sorry to interrupt but we got a match Josh.” Jon stated while awkwardly looking down.

Josh turned to Y/n and picked her up off the crate before placing her on the ground.

“you good?” Josh asked her when she straightened herself out.

“yeah i’m good, go ahead so you aren’t late.”

“alright, remember dinner tonight.” Josh said as he walked over to his brother.

“i’m guessing your apology went good.” Jon laughed.

Josh shook his head before laughing.

ﾟ•┈୨time♡skip୧┈• ｡ﾟ

yourusername posted on their story

nobody’s pov.

Josh staggered into the hotel room before closing the door with his foot as he held Y/n in his arms.

He made his way over to the bed before slowly sitting Y/n down on the bed. He let his hands roam her body before making his way to the back of her dress unzipping it. he slid the straps off of her shoulders before pulling the rest of it off her body.

He felt the blood rush to his lower body as he saw her bare body under the dress.

“oh so you wasn’t wearing nothing under that huh? You wanted other people to see what’s mine?” Josh spoke lowly as he lowered his lips to her collarbone sucking the skin before going lower.

Y/n moaned as she felt Josh start sucking on her chest. She let her hands snake down to his head before grabbing it and playing with his hair.

The two were lost in each other as their bodies pressed together in a long and passionate embrace, the weight of the world seemed to lift off their shoulders. The disagreement from earlier fleeting from both of their minds. They moved together in a slow and tender dance, lost in each other's touch.

Josh lifted his head from Y/n’s chest before he slipped his fingers down to her core.

Josh smirked at the girl under him as he feels how wet she is.

“I got you like that mama?”

as the sentence was being spoken, Y/n felt as he brought his thumb to her clit and started rubbing it.

She felt her breath get shakey as she tried to respond to him before giving up after she felt Josh’s fingers slid into her slick. she grabbed his arm trying to push it away from her.

“why you running baby? you wasn’t running when you was rubbing all on my dick at dinner. had me hard in front of all them people.”

“Josh please.” Y/n moaned out as Josh sped up his fingers.

“please what mama? i need your words.”

“i need you baby, i need your dick.”

Josh smiled before pulling his fingers out of his fiancé and bringing them up to his mouth.

He started to line himself up with her entrance before slowly pushing himself in.

Y/n’s back arched off the bed as she felt his dick inside of her.

“you feel so good around this dick baby. this yo dick.” josh grunted as he pounded mercilessly into her.

Y/n could only sob and beg shamelessly for more, hands clawing down his back as she felt her orgasm approached fast under his skilled touch.

Y/n felt her body shake as her orgasm took over her body, gushing around her fiancés dick. Josh felt his dick start pulsing inside of her as her pussy grips him over and over again.

Josh followed Y/n soon after as his cum shoots deep in her before his body collapses on top of hers.

“I love you girl and i’m sorry i didn’t tell you earlier.” Josh lowly said as he softly slid out of her before getting up.

“I love you too Josh. I promise it’s okay.” Y/n’s eyes followed her fiancé as he walked to the bathroom before coming back out with a wet rag.

Josh walked over to y/n before cleaning her up and picking her up to take her to the bathroom.

after she finished with her business and cleaned herself again, Josh came back into the bathroom before picking her up again. He laid her on the bed and gave her the water bottle he got her while she was in the bathroom.

He placed the cover over the both of them before leaning over and turning the light off.

Y/n placed the water bottle onto the nightstand before snuggling into Josh’s chest.

[coffe-book-club]

⋆˚࿔big bad wolf 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

info: boyfriend tom kaulitz x girlfriend fem! reader

summary: tom shows up on a date with his girlfriend more than an hour and a half after the scheduled time to find an unknown girl on her knees in front of him.

disclaimers: a little bit of angst and fluff, lies, betrayal, gangster!tom.

with this one shot i'm absolutely not saying that tom kaulitz is a bad person, this is all a fruit of my imagination.

they were five years apart, y/n was in her fourth year of high school. while her boyfriend tom had dropped out of school at sixteen and taken up street life. the boy, in addition to having a bad relationship with his parents, had been placed under house arrest a few years earlier for drug dealing and for having robbed a minimarket.

y/n was the complete opposite of tom, she had a rather restless life and got along very well with her parents, she did very well at school and was even offered a scholarship to an excellent university. on a hot july afternoon, after y/n had done her daily summer homework, she decided to call tom on the phone, but the boy seemed very annoyed. the boy's tone of voice was no higher than a low, hoarse and slightly aggressive whisper.

“hi bubi, how are you?” the young girl was sitting on the edge of her comfortable bed with the white quilt, her legs crossed and her tone of voice sweet. sweet like a freshly baked apple pie with brown sugar and cinnamon on top.

a sigh left her boyfriends lips as he had heard her sweet tone of voice. as much as he liked hearing her innocent, sweet voice. it also drove him mad. he hated that she was so damn innocent, hated that she had good parents that treated her so warmly. hated that she never had to worry about anything, but most of all. he hated how much he loved her.

“m'ok” he mumbled back, sighing once more as he closed his eyes. leaning back against the couch he was on. she knew her boyfriend well enough to say for sure that everything wasn't okay, he wasn't okay at that moment.

tom was standing near the entrance door of the small apartment he shared with three other friends of his, that apartment for four twenty-year-old boys was far too small, but they couldn't afford anything else. the green plastic landline phone near his right ear, was encased in his firm grip of his right hand. he was wearing an old, slightly yellowed undershirt and a pair of faded jeans that were too big for him.

“uhm… do you want to talk about it?” she asked kindly, then lightly scratched her right knee with her left hand. her gaze fixed on an undefined point of his bedroom. he was silent for a moment. his eyes still closed as he let out another grumble as he heard her say those words. his grip on the phone in his hand tightening as his jaw slightly clenched. he felt irritated. irritated that she was being so caring and concerned for him. tom was used to not having anyone care for him, not used to having someone he can rely on.

“ain't nothin to talk about...” he mumbled back. his tone still low and somewhat grumpy, he clearly wasn't in a good mood.

as soon as her boyfriend tom replied in a negative way, the young girl's eyebrows furrowed slightly, consequently also curling her lips, covered by a light layer of lip balm. she really wanted to help her boyfriend, but if he said no it was no. he had always been very stubborn and never budged, when he made a decision it was that. “you know... i was thinking that this friday we could meet up, would you like that? near the park on the right they have opened a small pastry shop and this friday afternoon there will be the inauguration”

a scoff had left his lips at how she sounded like a kicked puppy whenever he didn't want to speak about something and he could practically see the pout on her lips. he hated how much she effected him, how much her feelings effected him. He hated that he could rarely tell her no.

“yeah, yeah. sure” he spoke as he brought his free hand up and ruffled his messy brown curls as his eyes roamed the messy apartment he lived in. his focus now on the kitchen that was visible to him. dirty dishes in the sink. a sweet giggle left y/n's lips, it had been two weeks since he last saw tom and he missed him very much. a broad smile was present on the young girl's lips, the small pout from earlier had completely vanished. “i heard they make great raspberry cakes, they're their specialty... i can't wait. i actually should have gone with my girl friends, but i wanted to go with you”

that stupid giggling of hers was enough to almost make him smile, but he kept it held in. he was too stubborn to just let his guard down simply because she was just so goddamn cute. he let out a small sigh as she talked about the raspberry cakes. they did sound very good. and he did miss her as well. he always hated admitting that though. “they better be damn good as you make them sound” he said as his hand slowly fiddled with the cord of the landline.

another sweet giggle left the young girl's lips, even though tom couldn't sell it she nodded anyway.

“of course they are!” her flip phone was pressed against her left ear, while she held it with her right hand. she lowered her gaze slightly to her bare legs, even though it was the height of summer the young girl's skin was still pale, she didn't tan easily. “i hope to meet my girl friends because i would like you to meet them”

he rolled his eyes with a slight scoff as she told him about wanting him to meet her girl friends. he didn't particularly care for them. to him they just seemed to be a bunch of mindless giggly bimbos. the very thought of them just pissed him off.

“why the hell would you want me to meet them?”

he spoke. trying to keep his tone from rising too much.

“because... we have been a couple for seven months now and i think it's right that you also meet my girl friends and then they are very calm girls” y/n had always been a very sincere girl, she didn't like to lie and always tended to tell the truth. her friends were really quiet, they didn't like being the center of attention and have all eyes on them.

yeah, he could definitely see her being the type to want her boyfriend to meet her girl friends. she was sickeningly sincere like that.

so damn sincere it hurt. he hated how he had to always be so careful not to hurt her feelings. always having to watch everything he said. it pissed him off, why couldn't she just be more like the other girls he knew. he let out a huff as he listened to her talk about how her friends were very calm and didn't like being center of attention. “so they're boring then”

“why am i boring?” y/n's question was more of a rhetorical question, she had more or less the same character as her friends. she preferred to spend the afternoons in the library reading a book or studying. flora loved baking cakes or biscuits, spending the afternoons watching gilmore girls. she didn't like going to discos or going to crowded places, just like her friends. y/n brought her left hand near the hem of her lilac dress, starting to play lightly with the hem of it.

of course she would ask why she was boring. so damn naive. he was starting to debate with himself as to why he even bothered anymore with her. why he was even dating her. he was the complete opposite of her. he loved crowded places, especially crowded bars where he could drink and pick up women before bringing them back to his place. he loved going out till late at night and just not having to worry about anything. something she didn't understand at all. he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw slightly, trying to control his annoyance.

"you like reading, you like baking and staying at home watching girly crap. you’d much rather spend your days in a library than anything else. you hate going to parties and your idea of a good time is tea parties and gossip sessions with girls. you're about as exciting as a pile of rocks” he spoke. trying to make his point as clear as possible. trying not to get too worked up and hurt her feelings.

a small smile formed on y/n's lips, she didn't take her gaze off the hem of her lilac dress as she continued to play with it. but y/n couldn't get mad because in a way her boyfriend was right, she much preferred spending quality time at home doing things she enjoyed, rather than going in the disco.

“we have different visions of entertainment...” tom let out a scoff as she spoke. different vision of entertainment. what a nice way to say that they were complete opposites. tom's idea of a fun night out was definitely not the same as her idea of a fun night out. “yeah. i'll say. your idea of a fun night out is probably tea with the old ladies at the knitting club” y/n giggled again at tom's words, then brought both of her legs close to her chest and rested her chin on top of her left knee, then wrapped both of her legs with her left arm and move her flip phone from her left ear to her right ear. “well... the key ring i made for you is knitted” tom let out an annoyed sigh as he rolled his eyes. there she goes going on about that stupid little key ring she had made for him. He only took it to appease her. and he only hung it up on his keys for the same reason. but of course he couldn’t tell her that. “yeah, yeah. i know it is. you won't let me forget about it or the fact that you put so much work making it”

“but that little mouse is so cute” y/n had put a lot of effort and love into making that little gray mouse, it had been the first gift she gave to tom and she was fond of it. tom could remember that day all too well. her giving him that damn mouse keychain. he can remember how happy she looked after she gave it to him. remembering how her eyes had lit up and how her rosy red lips had pulled up into a beautiful smile. a sight that tom hated how much he loved, how much it made his chest warm and his heart beat faster each time. “yeah... yeah it's cute or whatever” he mumbled as he tried to brush it off. trying not to show how much it effected him each time she brought it up.

he couldn’t help as he looked around the apartment once more seeing the dirty dishes piled up in the sink, the overflowing clothes hamper in the corner of the living area, the garbage that littered every surface and just how messy and unorganized everything was. “hey, listen i gotta go. gotta clean up this dump of an apartment before the guys get back” of course he didn’t have to clean, but he honestly just wanted off the phone and away from her before he said something he knew would upset her.

“oh... okay, but what time will we see you in front of the park on friday afternoon?” the young girl asked kindly, she would have really liked to continue the conversation a little longer, but if tom had to clean the kitchen y/n didn't want to take up any more of their time. he let out a long sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers of his free hand. the thought of meeting up with her at that damn park irked him. but he had missed her and honestly wanted to see her as well, he just couldn't admit that to her. “around 3:30pm or 4:00pm” he spoke, then paused before speaking once more. “and wear those shorts i like” he said before hanging up the phone.

y/n had always been a very obedient girl since she was a child and when her boyfriend told her to wear those white shorts that he liked so much she didn't think twice, pairing them with a sage colored blouse and a pair of sandals of the same color color of the shorts. it was four o'clock sharp and the young girl was waiting patiently for him near the parking lot of the small local park with her arms folded, carefully observing the entire parking lot and anyone who entered. she really wanted to introduce him to her girl friends, she had told them so much about him.

tom was running slightly late. it was closer to 5:30pm when he finally showed up near the park. but he showed up nonetheless in his faded blue jeans and simple faded black t-shirt, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips as he approached her with a neutral almost irritated look on his face. he stopped just right in front of her, looking her up and down and letting out a scoff when his eyes looked down and saw those damn shorts.

“nice shorts” y/n was literally pouting, with her eyebrows furrowed and consequently her lips were also slightly curled. he had to wait for tom under the scorching mid-july sun for more than an hour, he wanted explanations from him. as soon as he heard tom's low and slightly hoarse voice he turned in his direction, he had to raise his head slightly to be able to look at his boyfriend's face.

“i waited for you for over an hour, what took you so long?”

seeing her pouting like that was enough to almost make him grin. but he would never tell her that. And of course she was upset with him for being late. as he always was whenever they had plans. he took a last drag of the cigarette, inhaling the smoke before taking the cigarette from his mouth and flicking it towards some nearby bushes. “was at tony’s place and lost track of time”

he said with a shrug of his shoulders as he shoved his hands into the pant pockets of his jeans.

“you always use this excuse...” y/n's tone of voice was no higher than a soft, slightly annoyed whisper, she looked away again from tom's face following with it the cigarette butt that her boyfriend had thrown towards a pile of dry bushes.

tom rolled his eyes at her words. of course she would mention he was aways using that same excuse. and she wasn’t wrong, he did always use that excuse. but it wasn’t as if he was going to tell her the real reason he was late. that he had spent the better part of that hour in a bathroom stall of a bar with a random woman on her knees in front of him before he decided to ditch her to come to the park. he let out a low scoff as he looked down at her. “yeah, well... it’s true.”

hii 🪽 how are you?

many new one shots will be released soon and above all the second part of ◠ don't cry ⊹﹒ will also be released and it will be a nice understanding with a lot more smut 🌝 but for now i won't tell you anything... i'm very happy because this morning i managed to do a good half hour of pilates, i also did meditation and purified my crystals too 👏🏻✨ these days i'm literally obsessed with ‘what's in my bag’ videos on tiktok and nothing. xoxo flo.

[delusionalmultilingual]

Suggestive content in the short story

Title photos are made specifically by me. Please comment below if you would like to use my photos for your page.

Honestly anything is a challenge in your relationship with Katsuki Bakugou. ANYTHING.

At the gym and your burning more calories than him on the treadmill? He'll burn a hundred more than you just to prove he's better.

You manage to pin him down during training? Get ready to be demolished by this train because turns out he 'wasn't using all his strength'.

He gets a high mark in one of his classes? Your studying for hours on end to get a higher mark than him in the next exam.

You've cleaned up more than him? Where did the small specks of dust go? Katsuki Bakugou finished it all. In more time than you, but you don't know that

Going for a morning run? Your both sprinting by the time your back on campus, trying to gain composure after God knows how long you were running for.

Seeing who chickens out first when your at a graveyard by yourself and you run off? Yeah, he'll mention it constantly and laugh about it.

Who's saved more people on a mission? The other gets more somehow.

Katsuki LOVES the competitive side you both have in the relationship. However he does push your buttons even when your mad with him. Or if your mad about something else.

Your currently mad at Katsuki because of recent events where you both said some... Not very nice things to eachother. It ends up leading you back to your room and slamming the door behind you. Thank GOD your on separate floors or he might have gotten up you for slamming the door.

Grabbing your pillow you threw it at the small couch in your dorm. The lights in your light were dim, which made anything on the floor dissapear. Hopefully you don't have homework on the floor, bye-bye to that.

It was a silly argument over you walking to the dorms alone when he was taking forever to get his bag and change his shoes. You told him you were leaving and he grunted back in response. Apparently he didn't hear you and had to talk to 'shitty hair' the whole time who then ended up dragging him to the gym.

You wouldn't have minded about it if it wasn't your freaking birthday. You planned to go out to dinner with him and his parents and then maybe go ice skating afterwards. But when he never showed up you messaged him asking where he was, when he responded back dryly 'Gym'. You lost it at him.

First he had a pissy attitude all day. Then without even messaging he goes off to the gym?

An exasperated sigh comes from deep in your throat, pulling your shirt off and putting on the red sweatshirt he gave you maybe a couple of moths after you officially got together. You were still pissed off but it was warm. And your were cold.

Flopping onto your bed with a thump you checked your pocket for your phone, the unfamiliar feeling of emptiness in your back pocket made you realise what happened.

Your phone was up in Katsuki's room.

Fuck.

A barrage of knocking came from Katsuki's door. He grunted and answered the door with a loud and grouchy voice.

"Knocking twice does the trick you don't have to do it– Oh. Back so soon?" His brows knotted together and he crosses his arms, wearing a singlet and some shorts. A shit eating grin on his face.

You also crossed your arms and pushed right past him, trying to look for your phone and retracing your steps of the argument.

"Where is it."

"Where's what?"

"You know damn well what I'm looking for."

"Not a clue." He still has his arms crossed over his chest, the door was shut behind him but he leaned on the wall. Watching you and where you go in his room. With his stupid grin on his face still.

You turn around still annoyed and stomp your way over to him, glaring up at him before reaching inside his pockets. "My phone Katsuki, give it."

He wraps his arms tightly around you, putting his head on top of yours and chuckling when you fidget in his arms.

You groan loudly and try to escape his bear hug but your both stumbling towards his bed and your getting more and more annoyed with him.

"Katsuki!"

He hums and lands on top of you when your fall back onto his bed, surprisingly softer than usual.

"Who's Katsuki?"

A while back you started only calling him babe if you needed something or was just talking to him in general, a way to get his attention. During your argument you still called him babe but in a harsh tone. When you start calling him Katsuki with an annoyed tone, yeah he'll switch that up real quick.

"Your squashing me."

"Mhm."

"Is that all your going to say." You respond grumpily, trying to shove at him as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, breathing deeply.

"Hm."

Shoving repeatedly did nothing but drain you out and you both lay there still for a minute before his hands grab your sides.

"Off." You respond harshly but he squeezes your sides until your squirming and trying to contain your laughter.

He still has his shit eating grin on, you can feel it against your neck. "Who's Katsuki?" He murmurs against your neck as your trying to squirm free from him.

You don't respond for a few seconds before your giggling uncontrollably, shoving at his hands and trying to get his hands off your sides.

"Babe!" You finally say between laughing and trying to hold your angry composure but it doesn't work and he finally stops, looking up at you.

"Mhm, baby?"

"Give me my phone."

Breathing quickly and regaining your composure you look down at his grin. He's got a look on his face like your forgetting something, and guess what. He's right.

You groan underneath him. "Fuck's sake... Please."

Still shoving at his broad and thick shoulders, your feel him fumble around while he is above your body. Even with the opportunity to flip him over and 'beat' him, you don't. You do want your phone back and that wouldn't help at all.

He showed your phone to your face, and you immediately grabbed for it, but he moved it out of your reach.

"Katsuki."

Your voice was stern and he grinned again, leaning down to peck your lips, which made your cheeks feel hot but it was normal. The familiar feeling of a lightweight object was on your chest.

"Better, whiny?" He said with a chuckle. His Irises connected with your mean expression.

"Don't call me that Katsuki."

"Don't be whiny."

"You forgot it was my birthday, I feel like that's pretty fair." You spoke harshly, flicking your phone open and looking at a message.

"I didn't forget, just didn't wanna hang out with the old hags."

"Yeah cause it's all about Mr Katsuki Bakugou." Evident sarcasm came from your throat.

"Was thinking about that for tonight, special occasion." He leaned down and smooched your neck slowly, passionately. Arms running along yours as you grumbled.

You turned your head away from him. "Not in the mood unless I'm on top."

"Have it your way, it's your birthday."

Not proofread probably gonna make a second part if wanted

[unreliablesnake]

Animals (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: Ghost hates you. But he's also slightly obsessed with you. This duality leads to an encounter that satisfies his needs, but only releases the beast inside.

Note: Based on this poll and Maroon 5's song Animals. I hope you'll like this. Tell me what you think.

Part 2

Warnings: toxic!Ghost, afab!reader, p in v, oral sex (m receiving), deepthroat, unprotected sex, etc. MINORS DNI!!!

You ending up in the 141 was a punishment. Well, at least it felt like it. Every time you moved, you felt Ghost's darkened eyes following you suspiciously, making sure you didn't do anything stupid, anything that could compromise the task force.

You had worked together in the past, before this team was even assembled, and you went against his order on that mission. He was fucking pissed, refusing to talk to you because otherwise he would have yelled at you without stopping. He didn't tell you why exactly he was mad, after all the mission was a success despite your disobedience.

And now he held a grudge, making you uncomfortable with the heavy silence whenever you were left alone somewhere. You tried to avoid him, desperately clinging to the other members of the team to be saved, but somehow he always found a way to make you feel like shit.

"Behave out there," he once barked as he looked over at you gearing up before leaving the base.

That was all he said. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Price give him a disapproving look, but that didn't seem to bother him. He just returned his attention to his vest, checking if everything was in place. Soap asked him why he was so mad, but Ghost ignored him.

Under the quiet surface the lieutenant was fuming from anger, feeling desperate now that he had to babysit you on the field. He had tried to convince Price to let you work with him and Gaz, hoping this way he would have to spend as little time with you as it was absolutely necessary. But it didn't work and he was stuck with you.

You were annoying, and reckless, and disobedient, but god damn it, you were so hard to resist. A deeply hidden part of his brain was craving you, flashing images of you being naked in his bed, whimpering pathetically as he fucked you.

It was excruciating, having these opposite feelings for you. One half hated you and would have given everything to be able to cut you out of his life entirely, while his other half wanted to own every inch of you.

When the mission was over, things returned to normal. You went home, relieved to be able to spend some time away from his judging eyes. You went to a beauty salon to have your hair done, you did some grocery shopping, and once you got back to your apartment, you cooked yourself a delicious meal.

It was such a nice change, just sitting at the dining table with the plate in front of you, a glass of wine waiting for you to drink it, and your favorite playlist playing in the background. Nights like this you considered quitting, giving up your current lifestyle to have a relatively normal life. Maybe you could finally have a stable relationship, something more meaningful than a string of one-night stands.

Later you poured yourself another glass of wine and went to the living room, getting lost in the rhythm of the music your body swayed to without thinking. You were having fun on your own, for the first time in months feeling good in your skin. No evil glares, no rude comments. Only the safety of your home.

What you couldn't know was that you weren't completely alone. From down the street, Ghost was watching you, his phone's camera focusing on you before snapping some photos. Photos he would store on a safe drive at home, hidden in secret folders along with the hundreds if not thousands of pictures he had taken of you in secret.

He wondered if you knew everyone could see you in nothing but your lingerie, a piece of clothing that wrapped around your skin so perfectly that the sight made his mouth water under the mask.

Ghost was the predator and you were his prey, the innocent little animal having no idea that a beast like him was stalking her. If you knew, you would probably run and hide, but he would find you, after all he could smell your scent from miles.

When you turned off the lights and probably went to bed finally, he went home as well and spent the rest of the night lying awake in bed, thinking about you with his hand tightly wrapped around his cock, pumping slowly as he imagined finally having you the way he wanted.

The next day he was in front of your apartment again, knowing perfectly well you had only gone to a bakery across the street to get something for breakfast. While on a mission about a year ago, around the same time his twisted obsession with you had begun, he stole your phone and installed a software to keep track of your whereabouts.

He hated himself for feeling this way about you, he despised this primal need to have you pinned under his body. It was all so vulgar, so obscene that he tried not to think about it when he was on a mission. But when he was home? Then he would let his needs loose, which usually ended up with him following you around.

Today was shopping day. You went to buy some clothes apparently, and while he waited for you outside the stores, Ghost couldn't help but imagine the way you undressed in the fitting room. He wished he could see you strip for him, slowly getting rid of your clothes, taking them off one by one before throwing them into a corner.

You met a friend for lunch, the two of you chatting casually about their relationship issues, even gossiping about friends you both knew. Who dated who, who had a new job, plastic surgery, family issues, and so on. It was all so normal that you couldn't thank them enough for their time.

What you didn't talk about was work. Your job, specifically. The tiring months away from home, the constant sense of danger, the sleepless nights in uncomfortable cots and beds, and the disappointed looks you constantly got from your superior.

Because Ghost was always in the back of your mind, the look he gave you whenever his eyes landed on you engraved in your brain. It was suffocating you, giving you barely enough time to fully relax. Alcohol could help, but you didn't want to turn yourself into an alcoholic just to get through the day.

After you got home you began to binge-watch rom-coms from the early 2000s, completely forgetting about time along the way. You were only snapped out of this sweet haze when your doorbell rang, reminding you that people outside this apartment existed.

Your good mood evaporated the moment you opened the door and found yourself looking at Ghost's tall frame, his tattooed forearm resting on the doorframe as he looked down at you. You opened your mouth to say something, to find out what in the hell he was doing there, but no sound left your throat.

The lieutenant had enough of waiting and simply let himself in, pushing you out of the way to enter. As he had sat in the cafe across the street about an hour ago, keeping an eye on the main entrance of the building, Ghost thought about what to do with you.

"We need to sort things out," he announced when you closed the door and slowly dragged yourself closer to him.

You froze like a deer in the headlights, your big beautiful eyes slowly blinking at him as if you didn't understand a word he said. Then he noticed a glint in your eyes, as if you'd just woken up from a dream.

"Get the fuck out of my place. We'll sort this out when we're on a mission," you said angrily, your voice surprisingly stern as you spoke.

You were confident now, okay. He could handle that. He could sure as hell fuck this confidence out of you. Without hesitation he pushed off his mask then put a hand on the back of your neck, pulling you into a messy and hungry kiss. You tried to resist, to push him away, but he only used his free hand to stop you from squirming around.

In a matter of short minutes you stopped resisting him, giving up your common sense and giving in to the need he knew you also felt. It had to end this way, there was no other ending to your story. When he gently bit your lower lip, a deep moan escaped your throat, a sound that only made it harder to behave.

"I hate you," you breathed between kisses.

It was okay. He didn't need you to love him or even like him. What he felt wasn't love. It was lust with a hint of some dangerous obsession, something he simply couldn't control. "The feeling's mutual, love. But let's be honest, you're enjoying it just as much as I do."

And damn it, he was right. His kiss, his touch was intoxicating, making you feel so good in such a short amount of time. When he asked you where the bedroom was, you immediately told him, this time obeying him without thinking.

He undressed you, taking away each piece of clothing with care, his fingers exploring the skin they had been hiding all along. When you were standing in front of him completely naked, he ordered you to lie down on the bed with your head hanging down over the edge. Deep down you knew what he wanted to do, and it made you excited.

As you got into position, he quickly undressed himself, revealing his hard, throbbing cock that made your mouth water. You were a little worried, having no idea if his length would fit into your mouth, and already knowing your jaw would hurt after this. But you wanted to do it, you wanted him to use your mouth and throat like a fleshlight.

And Ghost was more than happy to give you what you were waiting for, he also needed this to ease the excitement that was slowly killing him. He took his cock in his hand, stroking it a few times to cover it with his pre-cum before reaching out with his free hand to pry your pretty mouth open. "Open up, baby," he told you.

You obediently did what he ordered, and he slowly pushed the head between your lips, at first just warming you up with small thrusts. But then he dived in deeper, going until the tip reached your throat, making you gag a little.

That didn't stop him, though, he kept fucking your mouth without hesitation. "Fuck, you're such a good little slut, taking my cock like this," he groaned, his hand stroking your cheek. Once he knew you relaxed enough to take him so well, he reached out to tease your cunt, brushing it with his palm, enjoying the wetness that covered his hand.

You could feel the tears form in your eyes as he kept going, wondering how long you would be able to have him in you without feeling your jaw being too sore for it. But when he touched you, all of your doubt disappeared, giving space to the need to have his long fingers inside you, fucking you on both sides.

When he finally began to pump his fingers inside you, you moaned against his cock, a sound that made him groan. "You like it? I can do this all day to you, sweetheart," he said, out of breath. He was close, you could feel it, but you weren't too far behind thanks to his experienced fingers.

It was embarrassing to even think about this happening to you. It wasn't the sex that bothered you, more that it was him from all people. Ghost hated you, you knew he had been honest when he told you that, and you weren't lying either. But this was different, this was so dirty and primal, something you definitely wouldn't tell anyone.

Something that shouldn't happen again.

But now you enjoyed it. You loved to feel his cum on your face when he came, while your juices were dripping out of you, covering his fingers that kept fucking you through your orgasm.

When he was done, he went to the bathroom to get a towel so he could clean your face, an act that was surprisingly tender. He kept telling you what a good girl you'd been, how much he enjoyed having you like this. "It's probably the tension between us. Hate sex suits us," he offered a possible explanation with the hint of a smile.

It didn't take him long to get hard again, and he picked you up like a ragdoll and tossed you into the position he wanted you to be in for him. Ass in the air, resting your weight on your forearms. That's what he wanted, admiring the view of your cunt that was still glistering from the remains of your high.

He couldn't hold himself back, he simply couldn't wait to let you get used to his girth, to slowly and carefully stretch you for himself. Instead he pushed all of length inside with one thrust, the tip reaching your cervix and drawing a pathetic cry out of you. He loved this sound, it only made him go on harder, soon picking up a steady pace.

His hands were gripping your hips so tightly that you just knew it would leave a bruise behind, but you didn't mind, not as long as he made you feel this good. He was pushing you close to your limit, testing how much you could take without breaking.

Your forehead hit the mattress, teeth sinking into your hand to bite back your moans, for some reason thinking you had to be quiet because of your neighbors. But Ghost wasn't fond of the muffled noises apparently, because he reached out to pull your head away from your hand. "I wanna hear you, love," he said quietly.

His breathing suddenly changed, a telltale sign that he was close to his own climax. He put one hand on your stomach, and another arm around your neck to pull you up against his chest, his pace never slowing, his thrusts just as deep as before.

You were lost in the sensation, your brain not functioning properly anymore as you let him use you as some filthy fucktoy. Ghost knew what he was doing, and he could certainly read your body language perfectly well to know what you did and didn't like. Whenever he got too rough, the chokehold he had you in becoming too tight for you liking, he eased up.

But when he came, filling you with his cum in the company of a series of deep growls and groans, he reached down to rub your clit, making sure you climaxed as well. You threw your head back against his shoulder, looking him in the eye as you came down from your high.

Your body went limp, and if he hadn't held you tightly, you would've fallen face first into the mattress. "Are you okay?" he asked you quietly, placing a kiss on your head.

You mumbled something under your breath, but it didn't make any sense. You couldn't speak, not yet. This was more intense than anything you'd ever experienced, your brain definitely needed time to catch up with your body.

"Hey, are you listening?" When you didn't answer, he began to laugh. "Damn, I really fucked you brainless, didn't I?"

Ghost couldn't hide his smile, satisfied to see you in this state, feeling proud that he could achieve his goal. You weren't cocky or confident anymore, you were just a brainless meat sack, with no coherent thoughts in your brain.

Not long after this you fell asleep, and Ghost used this time to take a look around your apartment. He checked your clothes, surprised to find so many beautiful dresses in your closet, along with some sexy lace bras that you definitely didn't wear on missions. Then he went to the living room where he found photos on the shelves, probably ones with your family on them.

Your phone was on the coffee table so he checked that as well, glad to know your password. He went through your emails and instant messages to see who you were talking to, and he became furious when he saw your Tinder dates messaging you, asking for another meeting.

That was more than enough for him, he simply gathered his things and left without waking you or leaving a note behind. He needed time to calm down, preferably far from you. While he still hated you, still wished he could get rid of you forever, that stupid obsessed part of him was still there in the back of his mind, making him feel jealous.

When he returned home, he connected his secret drive to his laptop to go through the photos and videos he stored on it. Fucking you wasn't enough apparently, his mind kept returning to you, the need to keep an eye on you coming back without a warning.

With a sigh he checked the app on his phone the next evening, noting that you were in some bar near your apartment. You probably went there with a friend, but something told him it could just as well be some guy that was sending messages to you. He had to go there and see it for himself. If he didn't, he wouldn't be able to sleep that night.

Weeks passed without you hearing from Ghost. You still thought about him, feeling disgusted that you actually liked the way he fucked you that day. But now that you were going on another mission, you began to wonder what things would be like between you now. Would he be nicer to you finally? Would he at least give you some credit?

In the end none of this happened. When you met again, you were greeted by his cold, dead eyes, his words sounding harsher than ever before. You overheard Soap telling about this to Gaz, and the two men began to wonder how long it would be before Price stepped in. They were right. The captain wasn't fond of this kind of behavior, especially not when it was a lieutenant treating his own sergeant like this.

"You stay put," Ghost told you when you began to get out of the car.

You looked over at Soap with a questioning look, but he only shrugged in response, having no idea what was happening. "Why?" you asked your superior.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly with closed eyes to calm himself. "Because I said so. Stay in the car and don't move."

"Lt., we need all the help we can get out there," Soap tried as he walked around the car and stopped next to the other man. "Just let her come with us."

But he didn't listen, only shut the door in your face and signaled the Scot to follow him. You didn't know why he had to be like this with you. Apart from that one time you had disobeyed him, you never gave him a reason to treat you like this.

Ghost's blood pressure had to be off the charts as he walked away from the car. Soap kept talking, trying to convince him to let you join them, but he didn't give in. He couldn't give in. His mixed feelings for you couldn't cloud his judgment. He was your higher up, he had every right to tell you what to do.

Even if that need probably came from the frustration he felt whenever he followed you around outside of missions. There he couldn't talk to you, couldn't tell you what to do, where to go, who to talk to. Nothing. He had absolutely no control over your life.

Fuck. So his decision really did come from those mixed feelings. Price had noticed something was wrong between the two of you a long time ago, and he warned him before leaving the base that day. "Treat her right. I don't want unnecessary tension in the team," he said.

Letting out a sigh, he turned to the sergeant. "Soap, go back for her. I hope she won't fuck this up for us this time," he said, hoping he would pass this message on.

"Aye, sir," the Scot said with a smile. "I'll be right back with her."

Ghost truly hoped he wouldn't regret this. You were distracting him, especially since he finally had to chance to sleep with you. He had withdrawal symptoms that were getting worse by each day, reminding him that you were like a fucking drug that he couldn't get out of his mind.

No. Focus. He had to focus. Shit. Why was this so hard all of a sudden?

"What changed your mind? Suddenly remembered that I'm part of the team?" you asked when you and Soap caught up with him.

Turning to you, the lieutenant gave you a sharp look. If he ever had the chance to fuck you again, you would definitely pay for this question. Just one chance. That's all he wanted to correct your behavior.

[lucifersdickriderdotnet]

Emergency Contact

Summary: Having siblings sucks. Having siblings who are constantly getting into life threatening situations is worse. 5.9k words.

Disclaimer: as usual, if they're ooc no. uhm. Diavolo and Barbatos are here and they are referred to as Lucifer's boyfriends but it's in like a fun jokey teasing way that siblings do. except Lucifer actually is dating Diavolo in my head so. asmo and solomon ARE dating because I want them to be. maybe next time I'll make solomon date satan. you can only call a man a cute kitty so many times before people get ideas. if you couldn't tell by the title and the summary, people get #sick and break their #bones. oh. there is one (1) cannibalism joke. not demoncest just bros being bros.

Notes: this took so long because I've never written a decent ending in my life and i spent two days on it. also that anon really pissed me off for some reason idk. if you don't like how anyone is characterized write your own fanfiction man idk. solmare doesn't even have consistency with this nonsense. Lucifer is nice to his brothers in this because I want him to be. amen.

It’s a little known fact that Lucifer is everyone’s emergency contact. When it comes to those he cares about, he is protective, almost annoyingly so. So, it makes sense that the person who knows everything about everyone should be in charge if something goes awry. His phone hardly ever rings for emergencies, half because his brothers’ manage to get themselves out of trouble through a series of convoluted and confusing hijinks and half because most of them would rather eat nails than call him to tell him something is wrong. He’s even Barbatos’ emergency contact, despite the fact that Barbatos has never been sick or injured.

When his phone does ring, though, it’s almost always because someone has managed to damage themselves beyond repair, which is why he’s staring at the caller id on his D.D.D. like he can make it stop ringing if he glares hard enough.

“Lucifer Morningstar speaking,” it hadn’t stopped ringing and Diavolo had almost reached across the table to answer it for him.

“Hello this is Devildom General Hospital. We received a patient today and your name was on his–”

“Who.” It comes out dull and flat. He’s gripping his fork so hard he can hear the metal squeak.

“Excuse me?” The demon on the other end of the phone sounds perfectly polite but Lucifer is already so strung out all it does is grate his nerves.

“Who are you calling for?”

“Mam–”

“I’ll be right there,” he’s standing up in a hurry, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair and ignoring Diavolo’s many questions as he leaves their dinner.

“Sir, if you’ll just–” he hangs up before the nurse can say anything else.

-

Mammon managed to break a bone or two in a scuffle he won’t tell Lucifer the details of.

“Do you know how hard it is to break a femur, Mammon?” Lucifer is gripping the steering wheel of the car so hard he’s surprised it hasn’t snapped in half.

“Pretty damn hard, all things considerin’.” Lucifer exhales sharply out of his nose and looks at his brother from the corner of his eye. He’s staring out of the window, and the white of his hair is dirty with mud and something red that Lucifer knows didn’t come out of his skull but worries him regardless.

“Mammon, this isn’t something to joke about.”

“I know,” he taps the hard cast of his leg with a bruised knuckle, “‘m the one with the broken bones.”

“If you know why are you doing it?” Lucifer can’t stop his voice from raising a few decibels towards the end of his sentence and has to mentally count to ten to not start screaming.

“‘Cause I just got the shit beat outta me ‘n’ I don’t wanna listen to yer lecturin’.” Mammon finally turns his head to stare at Lucifer and the elder looks away from the road for a second to meet his eyes. It’s not often that Mammon genuinely argues with him, not often that Mammon gets mad enough to let the blue of his eyes light with fury. Whatever happened tonight was not something that he wanted to happen, and it’s not something he needs a scolding for.

There’s a tense silence where Lucifer sighs and then flicks the turn signal, sliding across the lanes of traffic to take Mammon somewhere else before they go home.

“Did you win?” He’s pulling into Madame Screams’ drive through when he asks.

“‘Course I did.”

“Good.”

They both silently agree not to tell the rest of them about their little pit stop, and it’s as Lucifer’s pulling into the garage that he turns to his brother.

“Mammon.” A hum sounds from the passenger seat. “Next time, call me yourself. I don’t want it to be the hospital unless you’re physically incapable of talking.”

“Roger that.”

—

Lucifer is not known as the most comforting of his brothers. The six of them tend to rely on each other for that, going to Mammon or Beel if they have emotional troubles. Lucifer, as the oldest, is good for cleaning up messes. Putting things back together and making it look like nothing was ever amiss in the first place. It’s his job to protect them, from the world and from themselves, and he takes it seriously. Still, despite his brick wall in place of a heart and his general ineptitude when it comes to being affirming in any sense, he is not incapable of helping his brothers out of a tight spot. He’s just not preferred.

“Lucifer,” Levi’s voice is shaky and stuttering on the other end of the phone. He knew something was wrong when his phone started ringing in the middle of class. His brothers all know how much he hates distractions during class time, just like they know when he has a class so they don’t bother him. He knew something was worse when it was Levi’s name flashing across the screen. Levi refuses to call any of them unless the world is ending. He knew something was horrible when he remembered that today was one of the few days that Levi is mandated to come to campus.

“Yes?” He’s already left class walking down the hallway towards the abandoned wing where he knows Levi is. He keeps his steps measured and even, keeps his breathing calm. It won’t do to have two of them panicked at the same time.

“Are you busy?” They both know the answer to that question, just like they both know he’s going to lie.

“You caught me in the middle of a break. Why?” He tests the door handle for the swimming pool. Closed for renovations, the sign says. The same thing it’s said for the past several millennia. The door swings open without any effort on his part, the magic seal already broken before he got here.

“Would you like to go for a swim?” There’s a splash on the other end of the line. Lucifer snorts.

“I’m not one for water.” There’s silence and another splash and Lucifer lets out a heavy sigh. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Yay,” Levi says, soft and timid, and Lucifer can see him now, all of him, filling up the entire pool. He doesn’t get in yet, just removes a glove and sticks a finger in the water to let Levi know he’s here. He watches as the miles and miles of indigo scales shift and slide along each other until he’s face to face with thousands of sharp teeth.

“You’re going to break the pool again,” is what he says, voice dry. He sputters indignantly when that earns him salt water to the face. He’s soaked now, head to toe and he’s going to miss these shoes.

“Oops.” Levi’s voice is sprinkled with something mirthful, no longer halfway to tears as it was just a moment ago. “Get in. The water’s nice.”

“Yes,” Lucifer swipes a hand across his face to push his bangs back. Salt water drips into his eyes anyway. “I can see that.” 

Levi giggles and his face moves away, body coiling in, on, and over itself, too big to fully fit in the pool.

“You said you’d swim with me.”

“Yes. I suppose I did.”

Truthfully, Lucifer doesn’t like swimming. He is not a bird that is built for water, and getting wet usually means being cold and grounded for a while. Truthfully, he’d rather finally open one of the many letters Michael has sent him over the years. Truthfully, he would do anything for his brothers. Truthfully, Lucifer doesn’t think he’ll fit, but a promise is a promise, so he slides out of his uniform and climbs in.

Levi doesn’t ever tell him what made him so upset he rebroke R.A.D. 's pool, but he does leave a box of Princess’ Poison Apples on his desk the next morning, so Lucifer sets his sights on re-fixing the swimming pool. Maybe this time he’ll convince Diavolo to make it bigger.

—

Satan would rather rip his own teeth out with nothing but a Q-tip and a single milligram of ibuprofen to numb the pain than ever ask Lucifer for help. Their relationship is getting better, he will admit, but he’s filled with a rage towards the oldest that could melt even the strongest of metals, and it will take a while to temper the flame. So, no, he will not ask Lucifer for help, but, if he’s annoying enough about it, Lucifer will fix it anyways.

He starts by mentioning it to Asmo, squinting at him and saying that no, he can’t tell if Asmo’s eyeliner is uneven, because he can’t see.

“Can’t see?” Manicured fingernails are digging into his cheeks as Asmo grips his face and moves his head from side to side. He has to shelve books in his mind’s inner library to not rip his brother’s face clean off his head. 

“Doesn’t look like cataracts or anything,” Asmo hums, dropping his face. Satan massages his jaw slightly. “What do you mean you ‘can’t see’?”

“I meant what I said. Your face is slightly blurry and I can’t tell if your eyeliner is even because it just looks like a blob. Ergo. I can’t see.” Satan crosses his arms over his chest and dodges Asmo’s subsequent grabs for his face.

“Oh,” a snort, “you probably need glasses.” He turns back around to his vanity and Satan has to stop himself from saying no shit out loud.

“Glasses are for losers.”

“Lucifer wears glasses.”

“My point exactly.” Asmo twists his lipstick back down before popping the cap on and pulling open a drawer. He gestures for Satan to look inside and he does and–

“I didn’t know you wore contacts.”

“Not very many people do. Mammon has glasses too, you know. He’s sensitive to bright lights. The sunglasses indoors are not just a poor fashion statement,” Asmo sighs and shakes his head, like the image of Mammon wearing his sunglasses inside brings him physical pain. “And, I think Levi has some because all of those screens destroyed his rods and cones.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for calling you a loser.” Asmo waves him off.

“The point, Bitty, is that you wouldn’t be the first.” It wouldn’t be just you and Lucifer is what he’s saying. Satan nods and then frowns.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Why?” Asmo reaches over to poke his cheek. He narrowly avoids getting a finger bitten off. His voice rises several octaves, turning into a coo. “You’re just an itty bitty baby– Ow, dammit fine.”

-

He then proceeds to complain about it as loudly as possible, as frequently as possible. No, he can’t help Mammon with his homework, the words are bleeding together. Yes, he does have to sit front and center now because otherwise the board is unreadable. No, he did not catch that last slanderous missive about Lucifer in the R.A.D. Newspaper because he couldn’t read the draft that was sent to him for editing. (He made Belphie read the drafts to him out loud and thought that the article was funny.)

“Satan,” everytime Lucifer has to talk to him he looks constipated and it makes Satan laugh inside.

“Big Bother.” Lucifer’s eye twitches.

“You have an appointment with the optometrist. Get in the car.” Satan sets his book down.

“Can’t Mammon take me?” He doesn’t want Mammon to take him. Still, it’s funny to see the vein pop on Lucifer’s forehead.

“... Get in the fucking car.”

Satan plays heavy metal in the car because he knows Lucifer hates it and makes him sit in the lobby during the actual check up because he thinks it’s funny to watch his leg bounce up and down. (And because Lucifer gets a copy of all of their medical records anyway. The freak probably checked Satan’s eyes himself while he was sleeping and already knows his prescription.)

“Those glasses look nice on you,” is all Lucifer says when he picks out the frames.

“I changed my mind. I hate these ones.” (He doesn’t.)

—

He’d been in his room, up to his eyes in paperwork when his phone rang. It’s not unusual for Asmo to call him, the younger always wanting to chat and gossip for as long as Lucifer will pretend to listen, but it is unusual for him to call in the middle of an Asmo Night.

“Hi Asmo, what–”

“Lucy!!” He has to pull the phone away from his ear to avoid rupturing the drum.

“I believe I have asked you not to–”

“Hey! Give me my–” There’s a scuffle on the other end before a voice that Lucifer recognizes as Solomon’s starts speaking.

“Lucifer! I believe Asmodeus has had enough for tonight and needs to be deposited home. I would do it myself, but as per our agreement, I am not allowed–”

“Within twenty feet of my front door. Yes, I know. I’ll come get him. Please keep him out of trouble until I get there.” He rubs the bridge of his nose before standing up and making his way to the door.

“Wonderful! Now, about that pact–” Lucifer hangs up before Solomon can finish the question and hits Levi’s door on the way down the stairs.

“Bed, Leviathan.” There’s a small squeak in response. “Or at least pretend to be sleeping. I can hear your game from out here.” The RPG music leaking from Levi’s room into the hallway quiets drastically.

He stops by the kitchen to find Asmo his crackers and a bottle of water before leaving, instructing Beel to carry himself and Belphie to bed on his way out.

Lucifer does not like parties. He thinks they are loud and annoying and too many people try to get handsy with him when really all he wants is to drink his Demonus in peace. He’s dealing with that now, batting off people’s hands and ignoring requests for a night alone as he makes his way to Asmo’s booth.

“Asmo,” Solomon’s voice is soft and fond as he rouses Asmo from a short nap, “Lucifer’s here. It’s time to go.”

“Mmkay.” Asmo rubs his eyes and gives Solomon a peck on the lips that Lucifer has to fight the urge to gag at. He crawls out of the booth and grabs Lucifer’s hand, and somehow the crowd parts to let him past with no fuss. They barely make it outside before Asmo is hurling all over the sidewalk and Lucifer is remembering that Asmo smells like warm, sugared peaches.

Asmo smells like peaches. Allegedly, he smells like whatever is the most alluring to you, but Lucifer thinks he has always smelled like peaches. He smells like the holy peach cobbler that Michael used to make in the Celestial Realm. Asmo smells like the peach flavored macarons that Barbatos makes when he and Lucifer have tea. He smells like the Georgia peaches the human made him try once. Asmo smells like peaches, he smells like home and love and care, and you would have to hold Lucifer at gunpoint to get him to admit this to his brother.

And now, Lucifer is getting a face full of that smell mixed with vomit as Asmo leans over a bush and loses whatever meager dinner Beel had shoved in him as well as half his body weight in alcohol. There’s a flash from the corner of his eye and he makes a mental note to follow up on that.

“It will sound hypocritical coming from me,” he starts and is promptly interrupted by another retch.

“Then don’t–good Diavolo, that tastes awful–say it.” Asmo takes the water bottle that Lucifer dutifully hands him and rinses his mouth out.

“Are you done?” Lucifer starts fishing around his jacket pocket for a pack of Asmo’s favorite crackers. They taste like flowers, allegedly, and they're one of the few things that Beel genuinely doesn’t like to eat.

“For now.” Asmo takes the crackers and starts munching on them gratefully, leaning heavily into Lucifer’s side as they both walk home.

“Thank you for coming,” he says. Lucifer scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“I would never leave one of you alone.”

“Aww, that’s so–”

“The paperwork alone would take at least a decade.”

“Nevermind.”

-

If Lucifer hunts down the demon who took the picture and threatens them within an inch of their life, that’s between him and his Father. And if Asmo finds out and gives Lucifer a hug at breakfast the following morning, that’s between him and Mammon’s camera roll.

—

Lucifer hates Fangol. Well, that’s not true. He admires the dedication someone has to have to play it and to play it well. He admits that sometimes it’s fun to go to games and get caught up in the hype of the crowd. He also likes that it makes Beel happy. What he doesn’t like is sitting in the stands as his second youngest brother makes a game winning play and then gets tackled onto the turf so hard you can hear the sound his head makes when it hits the ground.

The crowd goes silent and the players and the band take a knee and Lucifer is half dragging half carrying Belphie down the stands to the ambulance as the EMT’s check over their brother.

“Sir, I understand–” The paramedic cuts themself off when they see whose shadows are looming over them. They heave a sigh and gesture to a patch of grass near where they have Beel laying on a gurney. “Try to avoid being in our way.”

It’s a fight to keep Belphie from being underfoot, but there isn’t one when Lucifer says he’s riding in the ambulance with Beel to the hospital. Only a curt nod and then a muttered threat in his ear that he rolls his eyes at and then their off.

“Sorry.” It’s the first thing out of Beel’s mouth after he’s done being asked routine questions.

“It’s not like you asked to receive a concussion.”

“We don’t know that it’s a concussion,” Beel says, wagging his finger slowly. Lucifer rolls his eyes.

“You told the paramedic you wanted to throw up and pass out at the same time.”

“Average Beelzebub activities.” It makes Lucifer snort, lips twitching up into a smile.

“That is the exact opposite of a Beelzebub activity. You’ll be okay, though.” The you have to be goes unsaid.

It turns out to be a concussion and Beel is barred from playing for a while and then everything is fine.

-

Lucifer has changed his mind, he definitely hates Fangol. He has half a mind to ban Beel from ever playing it again, but if he didn’t have something to focus his energy on, they wouldn’t have a House to live in.

He stayed home from the game, wanting to relax, for once, with a new cursed record and a bottle of his prized Demonus. He might have also paused the record to watch the stream of the game on his phone, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s busy cussing out one of the commentators for their clear bias against Beel–they haven’t been angels in literally thousands of years, people need to find a new excuse–when it cuts suddenly from a replay of the last down to a live feed from the field. And then his phone rings.

“Mammon,” he already knows what happened before he picks up.

“I know ya said not ta call ya tonight, but,” he sounds haggard, and his accent gets thicker when he’s panicking, “ya also said not ta let the hospital call ya so–”

“Mammon,” it comes out snappier than he wants it to and he has to soften his voice when he opens his mouth again, “breathe. What’s happened?”

“Dear Father who art in Heaven–” Lucifer curses again because Mammon only reverts to praying when something is seriously wrong. “Beel got tackled ‘nd– Lucifer, ya could hear the crunch from Diavolo’s good seats.” Lucifer sucks in a breath and considers sending up a couple prayers himself.

“I’m on my way. Beel will– Beel will be okay, Mammon. He’s strong.” He hears Mammon’s assent from the other end of the line just as he hears Levi mumble something to Mammon.

“Oh, yer kiddin’.”

“What? Mammon, what’s going on?”

“We can’t fin’ Belphie.”

“Shit.”

-

If Lucifer breaks traffic laws on his way to the stadium, no one who pulls him over will be able to make anything stick for very long. He watches as the ambulance pulls away and his D.D.D. buzzes with a message.

Mams

I went with Beel. Everyone’s still tryna find Belphie.

“Lucifer–” he’s met with an armful of brothers before he can put his phone back in his pocket and he’s not strong enough to pretend he doesn’t want to hug them back.

“Did you find–”

“No, obviously not Levi, he just fucking got here.”

“Satan, now is not the time–”

“I’ll decide when the fucking time is, Asmo. Did you see what they did to our–”

“Yeah, I was sitting right next to you. You’re not the only one who’s upset–”

“Guys,” Lucifer raises his voice above their arguing. “Now is not the time.” He hands Diavolo his keys, grateful, for once, at his many attempts to bond with his brothers. “Will you please take them to the hospital? I have a brother to find.”

It doesn’t take him long to find Belphie, but it does take a toll on his knees.

“Belphegor.” He wonders how the youngest climbed on top of the press box without anyone noticing.

“The stadium lights are too bright,” Belphie says, “you can’t see the stars. They drown them out. It’s a bad omen, Lucifer.”

“Belphegor, please come back down.”

“I can’t see them, Lucifer.” His voice is thick with tears.

“They’re still there, Belphie. I promise.”

“We made them together, and I can’t see them.”

“If you come back down we can visit Beel and the two of you can find them together.” Diavolo’s Father help him, he is not climbing on top of that box to bring Belphie down himself.

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

The bad thing about the press box for the R.A.D. stadium, is that the ladder has rusted away. People never go on top of it to watch or film the game anymore because they started to use magic to get the good camera angles. The bad thing about the press box is that when Belphie makes to climb down he slips and has nothing to grab and lands on the concrete stadium seating with a snap that makes Lucifer’s stomach churn.

-

“I can’t believe you fell while getting down. That’s like, one hundred times easier than goin’ up.” Mammon is beside himself with laughter while he doodles on Belphie’s cast.

“Haha. Laugh it up Mammon. When I’m out of this thing, I’m going to break every bone in your body.” Mammon rolls his eyes at Belphie’s threat.

“The witches have used that one before. Try again.”

“What are you, a magic eight ball?”

“Reply hazy. Try again later.”

“You know,” Asmo says from his spot opposite Mammon, doodling on Beel’s cast, “it is kind of cool that you guys managed to break the same bone.”

“It’s because we’re twins.” Beel says, smiling brightly.

“Yeah,” Satan snorts, “or cause you’re both stupid.”

“I’m just glad you’re both okay,” Levi cuts in before Belphie and Satan can start in on each other.

“Indeed. Although, I believe it’s best that Fangol is heading into its off season.” Lucifer says, and there’s noises of agreement throughout the room.

—

It’s a simple fact of life that Lucifer doesn’t get sick. The Demon King is asleep, the Earth’s year is 365 (365.25) days long, the Crown Prince of the Devildom hates pickles, Michael is a massive loser, and Lucifer doesn’t get sick. He does not get sick or injured or cursed or hexed or anything of the sort because he does not have the time. Except. Except he is most definitely sick right now.

Belphie realized something was wrong when Lucifer didn’t come down for breakfast. He’s a stickler for meal times, always wanting them to share a meal together. Something about family and tradition and will you just do what I say for once that Belphie doesn’t care about or want to listen to. He comes to breakfast and dinner and lunch on the weekends anyway, because Beel does, not because Lucifer wants him to. So, when he looks up from his spot at the table, the cloth permanently drool stained despite the oldest’s best efforts, and watches all of his brothers leave except Lucifer, he gets confused.

“Beel,” he asks, tilting his head just so, “did Lucifer have a meeting today?” Usually he would tell them. Several times throughout the week if it was planned and then again in the morning before he leaves. He’s weird like that, he doesn’t like not knowing where everyone is. Belphie thinks he’s a control freak, even if he finds knowing his brother’s whereabouts comforting.

“No,” Beel says this around a mouthful of muffin, “I don’t think so.”

“Hmm. Well. I guess we’ll see him at school.”

-

They do not, in fact, see him at school. Mammon shares first period with him, which means he can never skip the first hour and a half of R.A.D. Except today, there’s no harsh pokes in his back whenever he starts to zone out, and there’s no pointed coughs when he pulls out his phone and starts playing games. He looks around and there’s no Lucifer.

Demon Brothers

Mams: ayo. where is. lucifer.

Catan: he’s not in class?

Mams: if he was I wouldn’t be askin.

Catan: the phone screen makes you bold, brother. watch yourself.

Mams: o7 aye aye cap’n.

Beel: Belphie says he wasn’t at breakfast either

Mams: is belphie’s phone broke???

Beel: he says typing is too much effort

Mams: understandable have a nice day

Asmo: o.o Lucifer not at breakfast? But he’s always weird when we miss it!

Catan: typical Lucifer hypocrisy

Levs: you know he can still read this chat right?

Catan: when has that ever stopped me -_-

Levs: you guys have hit like all of the Summoning Lucifer Bullet Points

Levs: 1. Mention his name fifty times

Levs: 2. Blow up his phone

Levs: 3. Text during class time

Levs: 4. Slander him at least once

Levs: 5. Ask about his private business/goings on

Beel: and yet

Mams: no Lucifer

-

The real header comes during the afternoon, when Lucifer doesn’t show up to the scheduled Student Council Meeting.

“Alrighty!” Diavolo says, chipper as ever, “when Lucifer gets here, we’ll start the meeting. He has all of the paperwork, anyway.” 

So they wait. And they wait.

“Yo, dude,” Mammon calls to Diavolo and he turns his head, Barbatos coughs into his fist at the lack of formality. “I don’t think Lucifer is gonna show.”

“Yeah,” Belphie yawns, “he wasn’t in school today, either.”

“Or at breakfast, apparently.” Levi says, though it’s hard to hear him over the music of his game.

“That is. Odd. Is he still at home, then?” Diavolo pulls out his phone and starts texting.

“No use,” Asmo says, “we’ve been bothering him all day.”

“Privately and in the group chat,” Satan adds. “Though, he may not have opened my messages because they were all cursed.”

“He didn’t open mine either,” Beel says. “I think he’s just been off his phone.”

“Unusual,” Barbatos says, stepping out of his shadowy corner. “Perhaps something is amiss?”

“With Lucifer?” Asmo sounds incredulous, lowering his compact just long enough to arch an eyebrow at the butler before tapping more powder on his face. “Nothing is ever wrong with Lucifer.” Belphie yawns before nodding in agreement and adding his own two cents.

“Even when we curse him things aren’t wrong. He always manages to make it seem so … normal.”

“I remember that time his pants kept falling down,” Levi says. “I thought it would make him less intimidating. I was wrong.” He shudders. “Very wrong.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Barbatos says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why does he do anythin’?” Mammon stands up as he says this, grabbing his bag and his phone and making his way towards the door. “Lucifer does what he wants and shows no remorse for it.” There’s a pause where he remembers the Fall. “Mosta the time.”

“Well, if we aren’t going to do anything,” Asmo’s compact shuts with a click, “I have people to do and things to see.”

“It’s ‘things to do and people to see’, Asmo,” Satan says, following his brothers out.

“I know what I said.”

Barbatos and Diavolo watch as the brothers leave, one by one, all citing different excuses before sharing a look.

“Is it rude to stop by people’s homes uninvited, Barbatos?” Diavolo asks, pushing his chair back.

“Yes. But in cases where Lucifer is concerned, manners and politeness have never stopped you, my Lord.” Barbatos follows behind the Prince, steps silent in contrast to the clacking of Diavolo’s shoes on the Academy’s stone floors. Diavolo’s laugh echoes throughout the hallway.

“I suppose you’re right. Come, I believe I must pay a visit to my right hand.”

“Always.”

-

The House is cold when Diavolo gets there. He can hear Beel rummaging in the kitchen, and Belphie’s soft snores accompanying him. He can hear Levi and Mammon fighting over something and he can hear the thud of books falling over in Satan’s room. He can hear Asmo because Asmo greets him when he enters.

“Oh, hey!” He waves excitedly, before pointing at his feet. “Which shoes do you think look better with this outfit?”

“I think they both look nice,” Diavolo replies and Asmo pouts.

“Not helpful.”

“The ones on your left, Asmodeus.” Barbatos’ eyes peer from behind Diavolo’s shoulder and Asmo smiles in response.

“Thanks! Hey,” he tugs the shoe on his right foot off and tosses it into a pile next to the door before grabbing his left foot’s twin from seemingly nowhere, “you guys didn’t see Solomon out there, did you?”

“I thought I told you that he isn’t allowed within twenty feet of the front door.” Lucifer’s normal baritone is raspy with sickness, vocal cords raw from coughing.

“He’s not going to be within twenty feet. He’s going to stand an inch outside of the barrier.” Asmo turns and places his hands on his brother’s shoulders, spinning him around and pushing him back towards the living room. “I also thought I told you to lie down and sleep. I suppose we both aren’t good at listening, hmm?” Lucifer grumbles at him despite following Asmo’s guidance to the couch.

“I heard the door open.” Diavolo follows the duo towards the living room, Barbatos his ever present shadow.

“There are six other people who can answer it.” He watches as Asmo pushes Lucifer into a sitting position and shoves blankets around him.

“That’s what I worry about.” Asmo rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a baby and just lay down. How can you catch Mammon and string him up by his toenails if you can’t go a second without coughing?”

“I can,” Lucifer pauses to cough, “I can take any one of you down, even in this weakened state.”

There’s a snort from the entrance to the kitchen as the twins walk in, Beel carrying soup and Belphie carrying nothing.

“You couldn’t block even the lowest level curse from Satan at this rate.” Belphie says, curling up on the couch next to Lucifer and resting his head on his lap.

“I could–”

“You’re very strong, Lucifer,” Asmo placates, patting his older brother’s head condescendingly. “Now, eat your soup and shut up. I have a date to get to and I’m running late.”

“Maybe I should cough on you so you can’t go anymore.” The threat is empty, but Asmo’s smile still sharpens in response.

“Maybe I should take a seam ripper to all of your clothes,” he turns on his heel. “Oh, also. Diavolo is here.” The responding squawk Lucifer lets out sends him into another coughing fit, one that disrupts the sleeping Belphie on his lap.

“My Lord,” Lucifer makes to get up and is physically yanked back down by Belphie, “I apologize for not greeting you earlier.”

“No worries! You didn’t show up to the meeting today, and you weren’t answering your phone, so I stopped by to see how you were.” Diavolo gestures to the bottles of cold medicine on the coffee table and the bowl of soup being shoved at Lucifer by Beel. “It seems you are all taken care of.”

“Indeed. I appreciate your concern–”

“Beel, Lucifer’s boyfriend was worried about him. Isn’t that sweet?” Beel nods at Belphie’s joke, resting his head against the side of Lucifer’s knee from his newly acquired spot on the floor.

“The sweetest. Someone tell Asmo he’s being beaten in the best boyfriend competition.” There’s twin thunks as Lucifer smacks the both of them on the head, face now flushed with something other than fever.

“That’s enough out of you two.” He sighs and looks back up at Diavolo and Barbatos. “Would the two of you like to stay for dinner? Satan’s in charge tonight and he likely won’t poison it since I’m too ill to eat much of anything.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” Diavolo sits in an empty armchair that he thinks is Lucifer’s regular seat when his phone buzzes.

Emergency Chat ONLY

Belphie: hey satan, lucifer’s boyfriend is staying for dinner

Catan: man. now I can’t put this human world poison I found in it.

Belphie: probably wouldn’t work anyway

Beel: Barbatos is also staying

Belphie: my apologies Beel. you’re right

Belphie: lucifer’s boyfriendS are staying for dinner

Levs: this is great

Levs: I wanted to talk to Diavolo about the new chapter of the manga we’re reading

Mams: the rule is no loser talk at the dinner table

Levs: why do you open your mouth so much then

Mams: i’m gonna fucken get you

Asmo: if Lucifer gets to bring his boyfriends why can’t i bring Solomon

Catan: because Solomon sucks.

Catan: actually

Catan: would Solomon be able to con a fever high Lucifer into a pact

Mams: the downside here is that Solomon would be at dinner

Beel: I’d lose my appetite

Asmo: he’s not that bad

Asmo: and don’t lie Beel

Asmo: we aren’t going to let him cook

Asmo: we aren’t stupid

Lucifer: This chat is for emergencies only.

Belphie: i know. that’s why we’re discussing dinner

Lucifer: If I see Solomon anywhere near the House I will find a way to reverse his immortality.

Catan: wear a blindfold

Asmo: kinky

Catan: freak

Lucifer: I believe I also told you to stop referring to Diavolo and Barbatos as my boyfriends.

Mams: sucks 2 suck

Levs: L moment

Lucifer: I also believe they are in this chat.

Belphie: i know. that’s why we’re discussing dinner.

Belphie: keep up old man

Lucifer: I will remind you that you’re laying in my lap.

Belphie: what’re you gonna do

Belphie: cough on me??

Levs: chat, clip this

Mams: what was that scream???

Diavolo: Belphegor.

Barbs: Lucifer did more than just “cough on him.”

Mams: oh damn.

Mams: so what’s for dinner 

Beel: Lucifer says Belphegor stew

Mams: I thought it was Satan’s turn to cook????????

Catan: lucifer just tried to shove belphie in the oven.

Barbatos: With no seasoning? How revolting.

Diavolo: Demons taste better fried, anyway.

Mams: PARDON???

[hanjisunglover]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 - Han Jisung

pairing: han jisung x chubby fem!reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers

summary: y/n always hated her body, she doesn't like her thick thighs, or the way her tummy looks, her arms, her face more round than the others. she tried so much to change in the years but every diet was nothing, jisung on the other side loves her with all of her heart.

Jisung it's like your safe space.

You know that with him you feel safe, he's not gonna judge you if you wear a pair of shorts, he's not gonna stare at you with different eyes if you're changing in front of him, because you guys knows each other since you guys were middle school. You can tell that the way that he's looking at you that he's feeling safe and comfortable too. But..

But you still feel like someday, he's gonna wake up and change his mind, deciding to leave your side. To walk out of your life like nothing really happened and you're gonna be heartbroken after loosing your only friend and only person that you ever loved.

That what insecurity is. You feel like everything it's fine for a short time, and then your thoughts are sticking in your mind, filling your mind with things that normally you wouldn't thinking about jisung or you.

You are in front of the mirror, your shirt lightly move up to reveal your tummy, chubbier than other people. Your thighs that are thick and something that you always felt insecure in, covering them with long and baggy pants. Your hips that are more curvy than others, you just feel that everything on you it's too much. too much to handle, too much to love.

"y/n? whatcha doin?" Jisung's voice makes your shirt goes down again and your cheeks slowly get red, he caught you as you were hating every single inch of your skin. "nothin, waiting for you."

His eyebrow moves up, giving you a suspicious face that you wash off with a fake smile, you move your shirt as down as possible. "you're being weird, why?"

You shake your head, walking toward the bed as you press your lips together, squeezing your thick thighs together, just the movement makes jisung blush. He loves the feeling of your skin against his, it's just refreshing for him. He put his phone away and he sits next to you, with a light smile.

That's when you start to talk, "I just, you know that I don't like my body," jisung's hand reach your thigh, squeezing it in his fingers as he pass his thumb over and over your smooth and warm skin. Because just the touch makes him feel so alive. "yeah and literally I don't understand why."

His chuckles surprises you, his hand feels so good against your skin that you almost forgot what you were so mad about your self. "what? you cannot be serious, this is gross-"

"This, is what I love the most about you," His voice it's like honey straight out from the battle, making you blush because you never thought that Jisung could see you like that, "it's, cute.. and ugh, adorable. it's soft, I can hold so much when I hug you."

He moves his arms around your waist, making you blush harder when he gets so close to you, his head lean on your shoulder as you get so shy and blushy, "you.. are damn gorgeous, pretty girl."

"I'm not," you whispers, almost too quiet for him to actually get what you said but it's fine, cause jisung always knows what to do or say to make you feel right. He stroke your back with one hand as he lift you up like nothing, "w-woah.. hey let me go."

Your eyes are wide open as you look at him, your cheeks red as he place you on his lap, you try your best to let you not totally on his thighs, to not let him really feel how heavy you can be. His hands finish on your hips pushing you down. "Sit damn comfortably y/n, com'on it's just me."

He murmurs as he moves some hair from the way, looking in your eyes with a deep affection, your breath get sharply as you try to not say anything back; cause it's a real dead war. You're never gonna change his mind about that, he's too stubborn. "listen I, I really love you. Not because of your body - even if I love this damn curves more than you can imagine - or because your look. I love you because you are you. I love you. I love your talk. the way that you explain things to me even if I already know them, the little giggle that you make when I share music with you. Your fingers between my hair, you're sing when I play the guitar, you are the movies that you quote and the smile in your face. you're my person."

[iluvcarmzatto]

Catching His Eye

Mikey Berzatto x female!reader

Warnings: cursing, fluff kinda sorta, flirting, drinking, one drug used (weed)

Summary: Mikey and Richie go out to a bar to hang out and then Mikey sees the reader and tries to make a move.

A/n: HEY GUYS!! I have a couple of pretty cool ideas for Mikey fics! This one is going to be relatively short since the Mikey series I’m working on needs some extra work. anyway I just wanted to do something different and I thought this was a perfect idea so I hope you like it! LOVE YA💗 THIS DOES NOT CONNECT TO THE SERIES! ITS JUST A ONE SHOT YALL!! <= FYI

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Mike, you tryna head over to the bar?” Richie said over the phone hoping that his best friend would say yes. “Cousin, of course. It’s fuckin Friday night.” said Mikey said and with just that sentence alone he knew it would be a fun night.

“Hey Tiff! I’m gone for a few hours.” Richie said as he headed out the door with his car keys. “Ok! Love you.” “Don’t do anything fuckin’ stupid.” She said sternly at Richie while looking at him. He chuckled, “Of course not.” “Love you too. Call me if you need anything.” She nodded and with that he was gone.

Mikey left his house and grabbed the keys. He got there a little earlier than Richie since he lived a bit closer to the bar than him. He waited in his car until Richie showed up.

Richie’s car pulled up in right next to him in the parking lot. Mikey smiled and got out the car. “Hey what’s up man?” They dapped up as they walked towards each other. “Feels like it’s been fuckin’ ages.” Mikey said while sighing. “Mike, it’s been three weeks since I took off.”

“Oh shit yeah! How’s Tiff?” Mikey asked while his eyebrows pulled together. “Shes good man she’s good.” They both walked to up to the bar and conversed more about best friend shit.

They ordered a couple of drinks and were laughing their asses off. “HAHA! Fak almost failing the fuckin’ inspection is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.” Richie said obviously the loudest one in the bar, and that bar was pretty loud.

Mikey and Richie weren’t too drunk but they were definitely feeling the kick of it.

You walked into the bar tired of work that day and a drink was all you wanted. The dress you wore was god awfully tight which you liked since you liked showing off your body that you worked so hard in the gym for.

You didn’t work out for the approval of men, you worked out for yourself because of it became almost a stress reliever but also was a way you could look into the mirror and be confident.

You had to admit that today you looked amazing in that dress.

As you walked closer to the bartender you asked for one tequila shot. The chair on the bar was just what you needed right now. Sitting down felt like a relief. You sighed and pulled your phone out of your purse.

You caught Mikey’s eye fast. As soon as you sat down he noticed you, not sitting too far away from him and Richie. “Cousin, look at her god damn.” Richie turned around and saw her. “Damn, she’s beautiful.” “Tiff wouldn’t even be mad at me sayin that, hell, she would fuckin agree!” He said laughing.

Mikey chuckled at him. He kept staring at you while you were taking your shots and scrolling on your phone. Richie noticed him looking at you and said, “Mike, go over there and just talk to her.” If she catches you staring at her she’s gonna think you’re a fuckin’ creep.”

“You’re fuckin’ right man.” Mikey said conflicted on what he should do.

You got up and asked the bartender where the restroom was. Since this was the first time you had been to this bar, you didn’t know the way around it at all. He told you where it was and you walked over there quickly. When you were walking, Mikey saw your ass move in the dress. “Oh my god, she’s fuckin’ perfect!” Mikey said with that image permanently implemented into his mind.

Richie laughed and said, “Starin at ass all night ain’t gonna get ya too far.” He said. Mikey laughed, “Yeah, yeah I know but I haven’t been in the game for a while.” “What if I fuck it up?” He said and looked at Richie, his brown hair falling into his face a little.

Richie looked at Mikey and said, “Cousin, you won’t fuck it up, you’re Michael fuckin’ Berzatto you always find your way man.” He patted Mikey’s shoulder. Mikey chuckled, “Yeah yeah I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am” said Richie confidently. Richie started laughing, “what?” Mikey said smiling. “I don’t know it’s just crazy to me after all these years of being best friends, you would be the one asking me for advice about this type of shit” Richie smiled. “Shut the fuck up dude” Mikey said while laughing.

You came out the restroom and turned around the corner. Richie saw you and said, “There she goes” fuckin’ opportunity of a lifetime right there.” He shrugged. “Your choice” Mikey rolled his eyes and finally got up. He walked over to where you were originally sitting.

You approached closer to your seat and saw this man with brown hair and brown eyes. He was extremely attractive and you were wondering why he was going closer to where you were.

You sat down at your seat and turned your head to look at the man. “Can I help you sir?” You said politely, while doing a half smile. He looked into your eyes. “Can I buy you a drink?” He said smoothly but on the inside he was nervous. You intimidated him so badly. You were the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes upon so of course you would make him nervous.

“Depends on what you get me.” You said in a voice that you didn’t use often until you saw attractive men. He leaned in, not too uncomfortably close but was still being smooth with it, “whatever you want” you smiled.

“I like you. You’re fuckin’ awesome.” You said. You weren’t drunk but you still felt a little tipsy. He laughed, “Appreciate the words of affirmation.” He said and smiled at you. Richie saw you guys from his seat and smiled. “I’m so glad I talked him into this shit.” He thought to himself.

“Two shots of tequila please.” You said to the bar tender. “Coming right up ma’am.” He said. “So what is a beautiful woman like you doing here in a shitty bar?” Mikey said. You shrugged, “I had a long day and this was my closest way to let go of all that shit for today and relax.”

“No shit, we have the exact same reason.” He said. You laughed, “A lot of people come here to do that so I dont think we’re special for that.” “Here you go ma’am” the bar tender said while sliding your drinks to you.

“Thank you.”

“Cheers” you said while raising ur glass up before swallowing it all down. “Cheers” Mikey said while staring into your eyes. He put the cup on the bar. “Shit! That’s strong.” Mikey said while closing his eyes tight.

“What? Mr big strong guy can’t handle a shot of tequila?” You said laughing and touching his arm that was very built. He chuckled and looked at his arm after you touched it. “Oh my god” you said embarrassed I’m so sorry I usually am not this bold I swear like I’m a quiet type of pers-“ he cut you off, “it’s ok sweetheart I don’t mind.”

“Sweetheart” my god you could’ve melted into your chair right there. Sure guys would try and get at you but none like this. He was funny, chill, handsome, and easy to talk to.

He smiled at you and you smiled back. “So does this tequila shot master have a name?” He said while looking at you. “Oh shit! Yeah I forgot to introduce myself, usually I’m much better at this, I’m just drunk as shit” you laughed at yourself. “I’m y/n” “what’s yours?” “Michael but everyone calls me Mikey.”

“Mikey is a good name. You said trying to keep conversation since you wanted to talk to him more. “Thank you sweetheart.” He said while putting his hand on his chest.

“Hey uh you wanna come over to my seat, my cousin Richie is over there and I forgot he was over there.” “I love talkin’ to ya doll but I don’t wanna leave him there by himself.” You completely understood and having nothing else to do you said, “sure! I’ll follow you Mikey.”

You saying his name was all he wanted to hear. He walked back to where Richie was sitting. Richie looked up and saw Mikey followed by you. “Let’s go Mike! He better thank me for this later.” Richie thought as you guys got closer to the stools.

“Y/n, this is my best friend Richie, Richie nodded and stuck out his hand for you to shake it. “Nice to meet ya sweetheart.” You smiled at him, “Likewise” you said. I thought you said he was your cousin?” Mikey looked at him, and said, “Nah, we’re not blood related but I’ve known him for so fuckin’ long we basically are cousins.”

Richie laughed, drunker than he was before, “I can’t believe Mikey has finally managed to find someone that is actually nice.”

Mikey looked at him embarrassed that he even said that. “Thanks Richie!” “For that comment!” You chuckled, not really knowing what to say. You sat down and just felt like you belonged with those two.

You vented about your job and they did too and just talked about life and where you were from. All night long everybody was laughing and having a good time. Then Richie checked his phone for the time, “Fuck! Tiff! She’s gonna be so mad when she realized I stayed later than I told her.”

Mikey looked genuinely concerned for him. “Well man go ahead, I’ll see ya soon cousin.” He stood up and hugged him. “Nice to meet ya Y/n!” He said running off to his car. “You too Richie!” Mikey yelled, “Drive safe fuckin’ idiot!”

Richie laughed and got into his car, “you know I will!” You couldn’t help but laugh at their conversation. You loved their relationship and wished you had a best friend like that.

You and Mikey walked out of the bar and sat on a bench just outside of it next to a tree. When you sat down you let out this big sigh, “I need to get out of the dress.” You said kind of getting annoyed by it at this point in the night. He looked at you, “You look amazing in it.” He said while looking at you with his brown eyes that felt special and important.

You didn’t know how to explain it. Like he admired you.

“Thank you.” You said smiling. You pulled out a blunt and your lighter from your purse. He looked over, “You smoke?” You nodded, “The best stress reliever to exist because you just fuckin’ forget everything.” He nodded “I think need that shit right now too.”

“Oh yeah?” You said lighting up the joint. You put it to your lips, inhaled, and blew out. You handed it to him. “What could you be anxious about? You got a girl waitin’ at your house too?” He inhaled it and blew out. “Fuck no” “I’m not good with relationships.”

“She gotta be real special for me to actually try and not fuck it up. Other than that, it just adds more drama in my life.” You nodded and internally was disappointed that you may not get to know him further.

You both sat in silence for a few minutes passing the blunt back and forth. Watching cars go way past their speed limit on the street.

It was never an uncomfortable silence, it was actually pretty calming.

“You know something, my whole life is just a fuckin’ mess” you turned your head slowly to him and continued listening. “I feel like everyone has these high expectations of what they want me to do with my life but in reality I don’t know what I’m fuckin’ doing.”

“Shit is scary dude.” You continued nodding and listening. You finally chimed in, “Yeah well, life is a fuckin bitch.” You ever heard someone say if you ever want god to laugh you should tell him your plans.” He shook his head. “Nah I never heard of that one but that shit makes sense.”

“Well whatever you do in life, I know you’ll figure it out and be great at it.” “Even though I just met you, it feels like we’ve been friends for a very long time.” He smiled, “I was thinkin the same thing sweetheart.”

You guys talked some more about life. “One question Mikey” “Shoot” he said. “Will you potentially maybe want to see me again?” “Like a date.” “You would get the real y/n and not this version who’s tired and out of it.”

“I would be a fool to say no darlin’” he said while getting closer to you. You had never felt safer being close to anybody in your life. “And by the way, this version of y/n is perfect.” He said reassuringly.

You smiled back at him and laid your head on his shoulder. He couldn’t believe he had a beautiful woman laying her head on his shoulder. He was definitely going to tell Richie about this tomorrow.

He was glad he saw you from across the bar because he got to have this moment.

That’s how you and Mikey Berzatto met and the rest became history.

A/n:

LMFAO YALL SORRY THIS WAS ACTUALLY NOT AS LONG AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BUT I HOPED U LIKED IT AND IF THE ENDING FELT PRETTY RUSHED TO YOU IM SRY IM JUST TRAVELING RN BUT LMK WHAT U THINK! x 💗



[serasfanfiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 | Part 5| Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

CW: For Valentino being Valentino. He doesn't do anything, but he does say some things.

oOo

The closer they came to V Tower, the more loud everything became.

Paper posters gave way to bulletin boards. Every street was lit with flashing signs and arrows, pointing the way to different businesses down the main strip. Advertisements were nearly plastered on every single available surface, competing with each other in a cacophony of bright colors and promises to make all of one's troubles go away, if only one bought the product.

Sinners wandered the streets, some glued to their phones as they typed out a text message, watched a video, or shouted at someone on the other end of a phone call. Some sinners loitered around various shops selling televisions, each screen showing an advertisement for the latest gadget VoxTek was selling.

The Vees made it ridiculously easy to learn their faces, as none of the trio were shy about plastering their likeness all over their wares. Vox was clearly unafraid to throw his reputation behind anything he supported, one advertisement proclaiming, "I'd buy it." Valentino left nothing to the imagination - figurative or literally - on what he was selling, with various larger than life posters that featured the moth scantily clad and in suggestive poses. Velvette was significantly more reserved, in comparison, with only a billboard advertising her perfume, named, Love Potion.

Quite frankly speaking, it was all a bit overstimulating.

Walking nonchalantly at his side, Alastor barely gave any of bombastic sights around him a second glance. He had made little commentary since they had set out from the hotel earlier in the day, falling silent as they had entered the Vees territory. Where all of this technology was practically invented yesterday, as far as Lucifer was concerned, Alastor had lived on Earth when most of the technology around them was still in its infancy stages. Advertising, likewise, was hardly new. Humans had been shouting at each other to buy this or to buy that since they'd first come up with the idea of selling a product. They may not have had flashing lights in the 1920s or 30s, but there had been posters, billboards, and radio ads.

Modern technology just made everything more... flashy.

Lucifer watched a group of sinners standing before an electronic shop, TVs stacked up in the window. Each TV was showing the same thing: an advertisement for the latest cell phone. He was a little surprised he still cared enough to be sickened as Vox straight up hypnotized the viewers into buying the phone. He shook his head in disgust a they passed group turned mob making a mad dash into the store. "Quite the salesman, Vox is," Lucifer commented, not trying to hide his judgmental tone.

Alastor snorted. He glanced at the group scampering out with their new cell phones as he drawled, "Vox has always had a... persuasive sales pitch."

It was Lucifer's turn to snort as they passed another poster of Vox, this time just the overlord and his VoxTech logo. His ever present slogan, Trust Us, curved around the logo. "You mean he hypnotizes people into doing what he wants." It was good to know in advance. No one had ever tried to hypnotize the Devil himself before and he wasn't keen to find out if it was possible.

"Hm," Alastor hummed in agreement. "Just so."

V Tower was easy to spot, even with all the noise going on in the background. The number of surveillance cameras also began to increase the closer they got to the trio's headquarters. Lucifer eyed one as it followed their trek down the street. "So much for keeping our arrival a surprise."

The redhead smirked, obviously pleased about something. Sing song, he assured, "I wouldn't be too sure about that."

The blonde sighed. He was walking right into it, he knew he was. He was going to do it anyway, because damn his curiosity. "Oh?"

Alastor twirled his staff around his fingers like a baton. "All the cameras we've passed so far have been laughably easy to take out." With a practiced hand, he caught the staff, it's tip pointing at the offending camera. As they passed it, the little button on the side of it blinked from green to red. "Vox isn't paying attention to his little toys. Dear me, he must be away from his surveillance room."

Lucifer squinted at the camera dubiously. "You can tell we're not being watched, by, what? The camera not coming back on?"

Alastor laughed, short and cutting. "Oh, it's more than lack of interaction." He leaned in close, as if he were parting with a juicy secret. "I can tell when Vox is watching." His smile was sharp and cruel and said everything about how pathetic he found the overlord in question. "His attention has a certain... desperation to it."

Lucifer wasn't certain which part of all of that to focus on first: the fact that apparently Vox had flat out stalked Alastor to the point Alastor knew when he was being watched or the fact that Alastor clearly found the whole thing hilarious.

Father, these sinner could be fucked up sometimes.

Lucifer grinned, unable to pass up the opportunity he'd just been handed to needle the deer demon. "Didn't do much about the camera that recorded the fight."

Alastor's expression soured around the edges. His ears flattened as he resumed his previous position, snide as he pointed out, "Yes, well, I was a bit distracted by doing all the work. You should try joining in next time."

Alastor hadn't let him get involved in any of the attacks, insistent that he had everything covered, and they both knew it. Lucifer had let him because he always half hoped someone would kill the asshole.

Lucifer let the conversation drop with little more than a roll of his eyes, his mind drifting as he processed this new information. If Alastor could indeed tell when Vox was watching (which, creepy) and had been surprised by one of the attacks being filmed, one could infer that Vox was keeping the hotel under a certain level of constant surveillance.

After returning from their day out, he had hauled himself up in his room as he scoured the news for mention of any attacks. Had tracked down the news reports Rosie had mentioned. There had only been a number written reports and many more reposted written reports, with a single video dedicated to the subject. The video itself contained footage from the first attack, despite the news articles having all been posted fairly recently. Judging from the general comments under the articles and the video, few people were interested in the hotel itself beyond wanting to know if it still stood or not.

They had been lucky the fight had forced the drone to retreat or risk being destroyed. Distance had rendered the video quality poor enough his bleeding hand wasn't visible for all of Hell to see. Everyone already knew angels could be harmed, killed even. It wouldn't do for anyone to get it into their pretty little heads that angel weapons might work on him or Charlie, however.

(Lucifer tried not to think about the main image he had seen, again and again, in those news articles. Tried not to think about how reverent Alastor had looked like as he reached his hand out to the Devil, as if he were the only God the sinner would ever be able to touch. The framing of the image had made it appear like it was something so different than it had really been.)

Light pressure on his shoulder drew him out of his thoughts. Out of the corner of his view, he caught Alastor withdrawing the hand he'd used to get his attention. It was a good thing he had, as it took a second for the sensor above the door to register their presence and trigger the door to open. He could only imagine what the media would have thought if a camera had caught Lucifer running right into the front doors of V Tower while lost in thought.

They stepped through the doors into a lobby themed in oranges and reds with purple accents. Hearts were definitely a motif, accenting arches and their support columns. Purple lanterns dotted every other column, more decoration than function. Lucifer took in the additional advertisements, some on the walls, some on a-frames. A large, flat screen tv displayed the VoxTek logo, but there was nothing currently playing on it.

There were a number of employees dotted around the lobby. A sheep sinner carrying a precarious stack of tablets raced off in one direction, while a horned rabbit sinner ran in another direction with an armful of clothing. A trio of sinners loitered off to the side, whispering back in forth in a frantic, hushed argument about what sounded like bottom lines and stocks. Near the back of the lobby, a blue and yellow sinner shouted about "messy actors" and "shitty wardrobes" as he frantically slammed his finger into the up button of the elevator.

At the center of the lobby, themed similar to the surrounding columns, was a welcome desk, currently being run by a white haired, fuchsia skinned sinner. Her tiny bat wings fluttered and drooped as she fielded calls. Distracted as she was, she failed to notice anyone had entered the lobby until Alastor and Lucifer had already reached the desk.

"One moment, please," she said to them, showing that she had at least noticed they were there. "Now where did Velvette say she wanted her calls sent to today...?" She bit her lip, finger hovering over one of a quite frankly insane number of optional extensions. Her eyes darted back and forth between two of them, before she shrugged and for all intents and purposes flat out guessed which one to send the line to. "Thank you for waiting," she said in a practiced, albeit polite monotone. "How may I... help..." She trailed off as she finally laid eyes on who had walked into the lobby, eyes going wide. She gaped as she recognized Lucifer but went completely blank as she took in Alastor's presence. The blonde was fairly certain that if he could read minds there wouldn't have been a single thought going through her head at that moment.

Lucifer fixed an equally practiced polite smile on his face. "Excuse me, miss," he began, only to pause when she failed to regain her senses, apparently still too flabbergasted by his companion. Brow twitching, he rapped his knuckles sharply upon the marble surface of the desk.

The noise seemed to do the trick, the sinner snapping out of her trance to jerk her head around. "Yes! Um." She swallowed, casting one last nervous glance at the Radio Demon. Between looking at Alastor and looking back at Lucifer, he could see her clawing her professional mask back on with the kind of experience that came from needing to remain calm when one's life was on the line. "How may I help you, sirs?" Her voice didn't even shake a little.

Noting the reaction and shelving the topic for later, Lucifer said, "Please let Vox know we are here to speak with him."

The sinner blinked, disbelief clear as day on her face despite her best efforts not to show it. "You..." Lucifer had the distinct impression the 'you' here was Alastor, even if she wasn't looking directly at him. "Wish to speak with... Vox?" Her tone suggested that had she not been speaking with Lucifer Morningstar, the literal king of Hell, she might have asked him if he was smoking something.

The noise, or lack there of, reached his ears. The general hustle and bustle of when they had entered had completely died down to be replaced by whispers and murmurs. Even without turning, he could feel all eyes on them. Lucifer glanced at Alastor, whose Cheshire Cat grin suggested he was internally laughing at all the fuss his being here was causing. His ears flicked to and fro as he followed different conversations.

Smile fixed in place, he affirmed, "Yup!" He waggled his fingers in the direction of her phone. "Now, please."

The receptionist stared off into the middle distance, the same blank look in her eyes he'd seen on soldier's who'd died at war. In the fatalistic tone of someone who didn't expect to have a job (or possibly be alive) in the morning, she said, "Whelp, this job sucked anyway."

Someone, a little too loudly, stage whispered, "Oh, I would not want to be in her shoes, right now."

Without turning, the receptionist flipped the person off with one hand while picking up the phone with the other. She pressed a seemingly random button as she put the receiver to her ear, a down right manic smile crossed her face.

Lucifer (and likely everyone in the lobby, as well) could tell the instant the phone was answered on the other end. A voice that matched the one's he'd heard in the advertisements bellowed, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT INTERUPTING MY MEETINGS?"

Taking advantage of the fact that it sounded like Vox was a sinner who needed to breathe on occasion, the woman said, voice picture perfect cheerful, "The King of Hell and the Radio Demon are here to see you, sir."

A very long, audible pause, both on the phone and from the lobby around them. Then, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ALASTOR'S HERE??"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the redhead, incredulous. Seriously? What kind of history did these two have that Alastor showing up at V Tower was causing this kind of fuss? It was almost enough to make him forget he had been totally overlooked in that last statement.

Around them, every camera in the lobby suddenly came to life, zeroing in on them. Lucifer could tell by their synchronous motion, someone was likely watching them. Alastor's whole posture changed as he turned on one of the cameras, head tilted just so and smile lazy as he waved at it.

As one, those very same cameras began to sizzle and pop as they were all taken out.

Lucifer noted the redhead looked far too pleased with himself for that to have been anything other than deliberate. He knew Alastor hated being recorded, but that was just petty. Turning his attention to the receptionist, it was only because of his heightened sense of hearing that he was able to hear Vox, voice considerably more in control and at a much more reasonable volume, telling her to send them down.

"At once, sir." She set the phone down at leisure, as if she hadn't just had her eardrums tested by her boss shouting in them. Still looking at something only she could see, she said, "Vox will see you now." She pointed behind her to a set of elevators. "Please use the elevator on the right, as this is the only elevator with access to Vox's personal office." Placing her hands on the desk in a deceptively casual way, she finished, "Please have a hellish rest of your day."

"You, too," Lucifer said on reflex. He watched her as they made their way around the desk, throwing glances over his shoulder after they'd passed it. Under his breath, he asked of Alastor, "Think the hotel needs a receptionist?"

They had a front desk, didn't they? And a land line? Maybe? There was no mail service in Hell and Alastor had to get communications somehow, seeing as he refused to touch anything more modern than a radio. He'd check on it when he got back.

"Ha!" Alastor side eyed him. "Come now, your Majesty, you don't want poor Husker to be out of a job, do you?"

Lucifer belatedly remembered that apparently Husk doubled as not just their bartender, but also as their receptionist. He guffawed. One the one hand, Husk was indeed an great bartender, even willing to be a patient ear for one's troubles, if he tolerated them. He was certainly an exceptional judge of someone's character. On the other, was he a good receptionist? No offense meant to the avian feline in question, but, not in the slightest.

Lucifer added the mental note to check in on the receptionist later to his growing list of things to do.

The elevator opened without them pressing any buttons, suggesting that Vox, the creep, had other ways of keeping tabs on them. Lucifer and Alastor stepped in, the former not thrilled with how tiny the elevator was. There was just enough room for the both of them to stand side by side with little to spare. Insult to injury, the most obnoxious elevator music he had ever had the displeasure to have inflicted on him played over head. There were no buttons to chose from, but there seemed to be none needed as the elevator began its decent on it's own.

Lucifer reiterated: what a creep.

More to fill the silence and distract himself from the growing need to destroy the speaker putting out that horrible noise, he asked, "You ever been here before?"

In the same way most people would say, 'I'd rather die, thanks,' Alastor scoffed. "Absolutely not! I'd never inflict such poor company on myself willingly." Still, it wasn't hard to notice the little ways Alastor was on high alert, very much aware of the fact that he had walked willingly into enemy territory. His ego didn't allow him to worry, but it still paid to be alert to potential surprises.

Thankfully, the elevator didn't take long before reaching its destination. This new room was vast, with a color scheme nothing like the lobby's. Where the lobby was warm shades of orange, red and purple, this room was all cool shades of blue, red, white. The room was dark, only illuminates by dozens upon dozens of screens, most glowing with white light, a handful with red light. Red light filtered up from what appeared to be a deep pit surrounding a bridge-like walkway. Attached at the end was a round platform and attached to the platform was a seat surrounded by even more monitors.

This wasn't an office. This was a surveillance room.

Walking down the walkway was none other than the founder of VoxTek, Vox himself, striding along with all the confidence of someone who was at the top of their industry and knew it. His smile was wide and Lucifer immediately pegged it as the fake kind he usually saw on car salesmen. "Your Highness! Welcome!" Vox greeted. When he was close enough, he offered his hand out for a handshake.

Lucifer eyed it, just long enough to make it look like he wasn't going to take it. He didn't expect anyone to actually bow to him in greeting, but something about this guy left him half tempted to push for it now. Taking the hand, he allowed Vox to shake it to be polite.

When it came time to greet Alastor, the TV demon merely gritted his teeth and said, voice dripping with venom, "Alastor."

Alastor didn't appear bothered in the least by the rude greeting. Matching vitriol with amusement, he merely said, "Vox."

Lucifer looked from Vox, to Alastor, and then back to Vox. Man, he was so sorry he hadn't asked for more details on these two before they'd gotten here. Predicting this could go on a while if they were left to their own devises, Lucifer pointedly cleared his throat.

Vox's smile smoothed out, salesman mask back on place. "Yes, of course. Now, your highness," the sinner held out his hand towards the bridge, indicating he'd like them to come into his "office" proper. Lucifer didn't fail to notice there was only one seat down that way and it was meant for Vox. "May I call you Lucifer? Lucifer--"

Oh, absolutely not. They were going to have to nip that in the bud. Even Alastor, who had somehow become his rival for his place in his daughter's life and literally lived down the hall from him, was smart enough not to call him by name.

"The word you're looking for is 'Majesty'."

Vox paused, body tensing. The fallen angel got the impression he wasn't used to being interrupted. "Excuse me?"

Lucifer effected a bored stance, one hand settled on his cane as he explained, deliberately just this side of hostile, "Your Highness is how you would address my daughter." He looked Vox dead in the eye, making it pointedly clear he was deadly serious and there was going to be none of this BS about who was calling the shots. "Your Majesty is how you address your king."

Vox interestingly grew more calm in the face of his king's ire. "Of course, your Majesty," he said, immediately correcting course. He offered they move the conversation to the platform again. This time, Lucifer nodded. He followed as Vox lead the way, noting how the TV demon never quite turned his back on them, seemingly uneasy having Alastor at his back, even this deep into what was his own territory.

Lucifer took the time spent crossing the bridge to exam the pit around them. While the red light obscured the bottom itself, he was able to make out what appeared to be a very large tank behind equally large glass walls. Swimming around without a care in the world were what appeared to be several glowing sharks. He followed one as it made its way from one side of the pit to the other, able to sense there was nothing natural in their design. These creatures may have appeared to be alive, but they were all circuits and wires, through and through.

When they reached the platform, Vox showed sense by not going for his chair. He did stop in the center of the circle, a subtle attempt to regain some control of the situation. "Now, your Majesty," he began, just sincere enough it was impossible to tell if it was fake or not. "Please, tell me how I and VoxTek can be of assistance today."

Lucifer watched him. Watched the way his face was turned to Lucifer, but his eyes kept ticking to Alastor. Noted the way his body was tilted ever so slightly in the redhead's direction, as if drawn by a magnet he couldn't resist. Vox may have been putting on a show of talking to Lucifer, but he very much only had eyes for Alastor.

Someone was obsessed.

Someone was obsessed really badly.

Something that felt suspiciously like possessiveness reared its head deep within his chest. Lucifer had no more of a claim on Alastor than Vox did, but Alastor had chosen to live under his roof and was his daughter's hotelier. Finicky to the last, with all the loyalty of a feral, stray cat, Alastor was theirs.

Smile all teeth, eyes gold on red, Lucifer raised his free hand until they were right under where Vox's nose would be if he had one. He snapped his fingers, once, twice, sharply.

Vox nearly went cross-eyed, as he zeroed in on the offending digits, leaning slightly back.

"I know Alastor is very eye catching," Lucifer drawled, voice deepening as he let his displeasure seep in. "But you are talking to me. Do you understand?"

The TV demon had the grace to raise his hands, not necessarily in surrender, but certainly in a pacifying manner. It was easy to see him cycling through possible responses, as he fished for the one that would deescalate the situation the fastest. "I apologize, you Majesty, for any offense," he settled on, tone so polite it reeked of falseness.

Lucifer let him have it because it seemed Vox was finally cottoning on to the fact that there was a larger predator in the room then either of the two sinners. The reluctant king withdrew a step, pleased when Vox's eyes followed him, with not a single glance at Alastor. Now that he had the CEO's full attention, he decided it was time to get this show on the road. "I have a message for everyone in the Pride Ring. I've noticed how many people have a TV or a cellphone. I've also noticed VoxTek's reach." Lucifer said this last part only because it was true. However they had managed it, VoxTek has even managed to make it's way into the other rings.

For the first time since they'd arrived, Vox's smile actually appeared real. It put into stark light how fake the one he had been wearing up until this moment had been. "We would be thrilled to feature you on one of our television shows, your Majesty." He was smart enough not to look at Alastor, although it was obvious the next part was directed towards him. "Our viewership ratings have been going through the roof over the last few years. Statistics show that almost every household in the Pentagram City has a TV these days."

It was a good sales pitch. It might even have been true. The hotel had even had a TV, although Lucifer had explicitly forbidden anyone from bringing one into the palace, the exception being the live-in servants' personal quarters. Regardless, Vox hadn't said that to try and sale anyone on anything, he'd said it to rub it in Alastor's face that Lucifer had chosen to pass his message along over Vox's medium, instead of Alastor's.

Although they hadn't discussed it ahead of time, Lucifer found himself saying, in all the casualness of it having been a given, "If Alastor wishes to broadcast the message simultaneously over radio for our viewers who prefer the medium, he's more than welcome to do so, but we're not here to discuss that." He was fairly certain, even without turning around, that Alastor hadn't given it away that this was news to him.

The idea was reinforced by the way that Vox's eye twitched before he could regain control over it. "Yes, of course we want it to reach all of the intended audiences." Hands coming to rest at the small of his back, the TV demon attempted to steer them back on course. "Now, about the content of the message."

Lucifer tilted his head to the side. "Does it matter what the content is? Unless you prefer I go somewhere else to do this." Something that was also true. Mammon may lack any talent of his own, but he knew a cash grab when he saw one. He jumped onto the bandwagon that was television sets, TV shows, and moving advertisements as soon as the technology had hit Hell. The only reason none of his products where seen in the Pride Ring was because Lucifer limited his exposure to sinners were ever he could. If he gave him the green light, Mammon would topple VoxTek within a matter of months, if not less.

Vox paused, sensing he was in troubled waters, but not quite sure from which direction. "No, no. We here at VoxTek simply prefer to make sure that all the content we put out is content we stand by--"

Lucifer leaned in. If his tail were out, it would have been thrashing. "Are you saying your king could say anything VoxTek wouldn't support?"

Vox's screen left eye widened ever so slightly, the sclera going from a solid red, to more hypnotic red and black. It was there and gone in the blink of his eyes. His voice sounded glitchy as he gritted out a, "No."

"May I suggest something, your Majesty?"

Lucifer broke off what was quickly becoming a staring match with Vox to turn his attention to Alastor. The redheaded sinner had been standing behind him, seemingly content to watch the drama unfold from the side as Lucifer took the lead. Considering their rivalry, Lucifer was a little hesitant to allow Alastor to enter the fray, lest he potentially make things worse. However, he did appreciate the fact that these two knew each other better than he knew either of them.

Giving away the floor, at least for now, Lucifer gave a single short nod, for him to proceed.

Alastor stepped up until they were side by side.

Unable to resist now that the redhead had center stage, Vox immediately shifted to face him, Lucifer all but forgotten. He frowned, almost all pretenses of being a businessman all but thrown out the window. "What are you doing here, Alastor?" He snipped at the redhead. "I know you'll take any opportunity to move up in Hell, but I didn't take you as a kiss ass."

Alastor smiled at him, as if he were a short sighted child. "We hadn't gotten to that part, have we?" He gave his staff a little spin, noting the way Vox's eyes narrowed as he took in it's repaired state. "His Majesty asked me to stand with him as he gave his address."

Vox snorted, doubtful. "You'd never agree to appearing on screen." He actually started to laugh at the idea, until he realized Alastor was completely serious. "Wait, you said yes?" Gaping, he turned on Lucifer, seeming in his shock to forget who he was talking to. "What the hell did you do to get him to agree to show up on TV?" He glared back and forth between then, baring his teeth as he asked, "What, are you two fucking or something?"

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, lip curling back. In one fell swoop, Vox had just reduced himself to less than scum on the bottom of his boots. The only reason they were continuing this conversation was because he didn't feel like dragging Valentino down to the Greed Ring. "Maybe you just don't know how to speak his language," he snipped back, mouth moving before he could think about what he was saying or how much it gave away.

Before Vox could think too deeply on it, the redhead cleared his throat. For all that he preferred to be an unseen voice on the radio, Alastor did how to play his audience in person. "Let me sweeten the deal," he said, his hand running down the pole of his staff, eyeing the TV demon as he did so. "If you agree to broadcast our King's message, I'll do that one little thing you wanted me to do when you asked me to join you." He pointed the microphone end at Vox, the tip perilously close to his screen. "From when you agree to the end of the broadcast."

Vox stared at the microphone. Slowly, he raised his eyes until he met Alastor's. Something that looked suspiciously like sadness peaked through his anger, although Lucifer was certain they weren't supposed to see it. "You'd really do that. For him?"

Alastor withdrew his staff, tucking it under his arm. With his free hand, he reached out until a single claw rested under Lucifer's chin. Encouraging him to look up at him, Lucifer let Alastor tilt his head up and around to meet that fond expression on the redhead's face. "As his Majesty said, he knows how to speak my language."

Vox's eyes widened, a dawning expression coming over him. Real horror followed shortly behind it. "Holy shit," he whispered, staggering back. Lucifer tore his gaze away from Alastor's just in time to see him drop into his chair as if his strings had been cut. Dragging a hand down his face, Vox said with absolute certainty, "You actually made a Faustian Bargain."

He said it like this was his worst nightmare came to life.

Beside him, Alastor practically radiated smug triumph. It was all the affirmation he needed to give.

All of the fight hadn't been been cut from Vox just yet. Unhappy as he was with this set back, Vox was already trying to figure out how spin this in his favor. An elbow resting on each arm of his chair, the knuckles of his joined hands pressed to his lips, he countered, "Alright, Alastor does his thing and I'll broadcast whatever you want." His grin took up most of his screen, all pretenses of friendliness dropped. "Give me an hour to prepare the studio for you."

Before Vox could run off, Lucifer placed one last little condition on him. "Vox. Make sure the other Vees are in attendance." At the TV demon's questioning tilt of his head, the blonde merely said, "I wouldn't want anyone to miss my message."

Whatever Vox thought of this was hidden behind his joined hands. Instead of bothering with any of the usual ways out of the room, Vox transformed into a bolt of electricity, disappearing into one of the monitors.

Silence descended over the room. Then, "You two have history."

Alastor snorted. "You know how to use your eyes, your Majesty. I'm impressed."

Lucifer ignored the sarcasm and the insult in favor of observing his companion. The redhead's brows were furrowed with concentration, eyes closed and the very air around him warped to a noticeable degree. To Lucifer, a creature who had existed before physical matter, picking up on the way Alastor was enhancing certain electromagnetic waves around him was child's play. Hoping to kill two birds with one stone - learning more about their shared history while figuring out what the sinner was doing - the little king gave into his curiosity and asked, "What did Vox want you to do?"

Alastor didn't answer for a moment, whatever he was doing taking quite a bit of his concentration. Lucifer patiently waited him out. Several minutes ticked by with nothing by the hum of the monitors and the swimming of the sharks to keep him occupied. Cracking open a single eye a slit, Alastor reached a point in whatever he was doing where he could split his attention. Lucifer noted the pupil of the visible eye was a dial.

"Do you know how the technology in that silly little device in your pocket works?" Alastor asked by way of response.

The only things Lucifer tended to carry on his person were his cane, which was in his hand, and his cellphone, in case Charlie tried to call him (rare that it was). His cellphone, which was indeed in his pocket. Fishing it out, he eyed it. He knew it worked. He knew how to work it. Did he really need to know more? Besides, it wasn't one of VoxTek's cellphones, which made him less wary of it. Confused as to where this was going, he said, "It works, isn't that all that matters?"

"Such a pedestrian response." Alastor hummed, his microphone coming over to point at the little device. "You device works because it's able to transmit data via radio waves." He used his staff to gesture to the room around them, his eye falling shut now that he no longer needed to see to engage in the conversation. "Vox's specialty is electricity. He can interact with anything that uses it."

Lucifer remembered the way the TV demon had disappeared into his monitor, a chill running down his spine as he imagined what all else he could likely interact with.

"Radio waves, on the other hand, are my specialty," Alastor continued. This fit with what Lucifer had observed both in the current moment and back at the radio tower. "Usually I simply use them to connect myself to any radio in Pentagram City, but I can also enhance them." His edges of his smile tightened. There was no strain in his posture, but Lucifer was suspicious they might see hints of it if this carried on too long. "When Vox wanted to introduce wireless technology to Hell, he suggested that we team up. He would create the technology and the demand, and I would enhance his reach." His expression sharpened into a sneer. "I had no interest in being a mere tool in elevating him to the top."

Judging from the short interaction he'd observed, Lucifer was suspicious Vox had wanted much more than just to use Alastor as a tool. Vox had done little to hide the depth of his anger and hatred, and no one reached that level of emotion without having swung in the opposite direction first. Lucifer wondered if Alastor had really turned Vox down because of his own lust for power or if Alastor had seen the way Vox had looked at him and hadn't been interested.

Since that question was more likely to shut down the conversation then receive an answer, resigned himself to never knowing. Either way, he supposed he should be happy that Alastor had turned Vox down. Lucifer didn't want to think about what they could have accomplished if they had somehow found a way to work together.

Instead, he went with, "So, you can interact with anything that receives radio waves, then. Not just radios?"

In response, his cell phone dinged. The screen lit up to the lock screen, showing he had a new text message. Though it should be improbable, there was nothing in the place of a sender's name. Lucifer silently frowned at it, suspicious of who was the sender, but unwilling to open anything he didn't know who it came from.

As if sensing his distrust, Alastor crooned, "Go on. I promise it's not spam."

Lucifer was still wary, but he unlocked his phone. If this was malicious ware, Alastor was getting him a new phone.

The text message was indeed not spam. When he opened it up, there were simply two words:

You suck!

Lucifer glared at the message. "So, what? How would this help Vox?"

Alastor wagged a finger at him. "I'm currently high jacking every TV and cellphone with it's WIFI turned on. 666 News has never been more popular than it is right now." He paused, as if searching for something. "I excluded most of the phones in the hotel, but I do have Angel's."

Lucifer whistled, giving credit where it was due. That was honestly incredible. Terrifying in it's reach, holy shit, but incredible. A thought crossed his mind, an unholy grin slowly spreading across his face as he wondered, "Wait, if I reply to this, will the message go straight to you?"

"Ha!" Alastor shook his head, using his microphone to bop the top of Lucifer's hat. An impressive feat, considering his eyes were still closed. "Sorry, but I'm merely a transmitter and an amplifier. My abilities don't work that way."

Lucifer straightened his hat, half tempted to try anyway, just to see if it were true. Perhaps he would another time.

He was interrupted from any further questions by one of the monitors coming to life over Vox's chair. A moment later, the sinner himself reentered the same way he had left. Vox settled back in his chair, legs crossed and significantly more calm than when he left. "The studio will be ready for you in half an hour." He glanced once at Alastor, who had opened his eyes upon the TV demon's return, before returning back to Lucifer. "Let's relocate there now, shall we?"

Lucifer nodded. Instead of leading them towards the elevator they'd come down in, Vox merely joined them in the center of the platform. It became apparent why when the very middle suddenly began to rise, revealing there was yet more ways in and out of the surveillance room. Once they were back in the lobby, he led them over to elevator on the left, only sticking with them long enough to press the button of the floor with the studio, before pulling back out of it. "I'll meet you up there."

The door closed, once again leaving just the two of them and that horrible elevator music.

Lucifer glanced at Alastor. He still looked fine, but he was definitely putting out a lot of power. Feeling concerned (Alastor had agreed to do this for him) and wary of insulting him, he asked, checking in, "You doing okay, still?"

Alastor's ear twitched, the widening of smile showing he wasn't insulted, but rather amused. "Oh, don't worry your little head, I'll be just fine, your Majesty." Eyes aglow with more than just the power it took to carry out his promise, he added, "But I expect a reward when we return to the Hotel."

Lucifer felt a jolt run up his spine. The chain around his neck didn't manifest, but he could feel it tightening ever so. Alastor was invoking their deal, officially giving him his 12 hour notice. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised, as Alastor had yet to actually invoke the deal since making it with him. Tilting his head so his hat hid his expression from both Alastor and the camera's gaze, Lucifer grumbled, "Should have known you'd do nothing for free."

The doors to the elevator opened, illuminating the redhead's sinister grin. A few sinners had paused to catch a glimpse of them as the doors opened, only to pale at the expression on Alastor's face. They quickly scurried off to carry out their tasks. Lucifer stepped through the doors, taking in the chaos in front of him. Numerous demons were running around, similar to the frantic energy he'd seen in the lobby, everyone getting the studio ready. A stack of papers and angry shouting from a blonde woman in a red dress (what was her name? It started with a K) suggested that something else had been planned for this hour, but had been cancelled due to Lucifer's abrupt interruption.

Lucifer might have felt bad, if it weren't for the fact that he knew without a shadow of a doubt this particular reporter was likely going to find some way to verbally eviscerate him later. He may not have remembered her name, but he did remember her particular brand of cutthroat journalism and the outright nasty things she had said about his daughter in the past. And her casual abuse of her co-reporter.

As if sensing she was being watched, the reporter turned her head a full 180 degrees, her smile down right unhinged and full of promises.

Not for the first time since landing in Hell, Lucifer almost wished he was still capable of creating Holy Water. There were some situations one just needed a spray bottle full of the hard core stuff for.

"Your Majesty," Vox pipped up, appearing from seemingly nowhere. The only reason Lucifer didn't jump was because he was still caught in a glaring match with a literal reporter from Hell. "This way, please."

Lucifer carried on glaring at her, right up until he physically couldn't. "I don't care who you've got sitting with me, I don't want her anywhere near me."

Vox followed his gaze, snorting when he saw who he'd been making a stink eye at. "Oh, no worries." He turned his own glare on Alastor. "I'll be copiloting right along with you."

Lucifer took in the two chairs. If he was sitting in one and Vox in the other, Alastor was going to be left standing. Judging from the gleam in the TV demon's eye, this was on purpose. Vox pulled out the seat on the right, the malicious reporter's coworker's usual seat, a smile so fake one would have to be blind to think it sincere spread across his screen. "Just a few more finishing touches, and then we'll be ready to begin." He turned on his heel and disappeared back into the bowels of the studio.

Lucifer blinked down at the seat. He could already feel the sheer number of eyes from the people in the studio, watching and waiting to see what he was going to do next. This was the first time almost every single one of them had ever seen him in person. He already hated everything about this. It was more than enough to make him want to retreat back to his room at the hotel and not come out for the rest of the month.

A gentle brush, an almost tickle, against the back of his neck, the feeling almost shockingly intimate, startled him. He inhaled sharply, not having noticed that he had stopped breathing. Instinctively, he turned his back on the growing crowd, his hand coming up to half way, before he aborted the motion. Turning to face him, Lucifer noted that Alastor appeared to have not done anything, standing in that default pose he favored. The only reason Lucifer could tell it had been him that touched him was from the way the redhead was watching him.

"Smile, your Majesty," Alastor murmured, voice pitched low and soothing. "The hardest part is almost over. I'll be with you the whole time."

How out of sorts had he been that even the Radio Demon was taking pity on him? That the reassurance was a comfort?

Lucifer breathed in slowly through his nose, breathing out even slower through his mouth. His racing heart began to calm, as he reminded himself that he had taken on far more terrifying beings than a room full of nosey sinners. This was all for Charlie and the safety of her dream, and for that, he could handle anything.

He dropped into the offered chair, the anticipation of a battle falling over his shoulders like a weathered cape.

A door opened off to the side, one that he hadn't seen anyone coming and going through. Stepping through were none other than Valentino and Velvette themselves. Velvette was typing away on her phone, muttering about an interruption to her photo shoot.

Valentino paused as he caught sight of Lucifer and Alastor. "Oh! If it isn't papito, himself!" The grin spreading across his face and choice of wording caused the blonde's skin to crawl. Sauntering over, Valentino nearly draped himself over desk, bringing his and Lucifer's faces far too close together. "You wouldn't want to hang around after this little show for some one on one time, now would you, mi pequeño rey?"

Lucifer had barely managed to do more than lean back in his chair, trying to escape the heavy stench of smoke and hard drugs that hung around the Overlord like a second skin, when a weigh settled heavily on his shoulder. He glanced up, finding that Alastor had stepped up beside him, hand placed in such a way that it wrapped possessively around shoulder and was beginning to snake around the back of his neck.

"Valentino." Alastor's filter was grating, a warning despite his pleasant smile.

Valentino lazily blew out a thin pink, heart shaped mouth of smoke. It hit Alastor in the face. His smile was filthy as he gave the deer demon a once over. "Don't be jealous, venado, my offer is still open to you, too."

The static glitch of a record screeching. It wasn't hard to pick out Alastor's distaste with everything from the offer to the Overlord himself. "Pass," he quipped back, shotting down the offer with extreme prejudice.

The pimp shrugged, viewing it as his loss. He turned his attention back to his original target. "What do you say, papito? We could--."

"Val." Vox's voice was barely recognizable through whatever filter he was using, the noise causing Lucifer to flinch as it grated at his ears.

Valentino pouted, somehow making it look aggressive. "Vox, querido, what have I said about using that tone with me?" He twisted around in a way that accented his figure. "Don't be upset because the Radio Demon's already turned you down."

"The show is about to start, Val," Vox pointed out evenly and sternly, despite the dig. Lucifer was beginning to pick up that when it was anyone other than Alastor, the TV demon might actually be able to keep a cool head. "How do you think it will look if we don't start on time?"

Valentino's pout to edge in the direction of a normal pout. "Spoil sport." He leaned back until he was facing Lucifer. He reached out, running a single finger along the underside of the blonde's chin. "Call me if you change your mind." Offer made, he thankfully, finally got off the desk and made his way back over to Velvette.

Lucifer was going to take a long, hot shower when he got back to the hotel. With acid. Regrow some nice, new skin that Valentino had never touched.

Alastor pulled him from his thoughts, giving the back of his neck a squeeze. Lucifer was almost sad for the loss of contact when he pulled his hand away so he could resume his prior position.

From where he stood, Vox watched the two of them, his expression unreadable. Several minutely later, the blue and black themed sinner dropped into his own seat, calling out to the cameraman as he did so. "How's the camera holding up?"

The cameraman peaked at Alastor, indicating this question was because of the redhead's tendency to take out anything with a camera around him. The sinner studied his monitor and then gave a thumbs up.

Vox clicked his tongue. "So," he gripped, irritation heavy in his voice. "You can be recorded without destroying my electronics."

Lucifer couldn't see Alastor from where he was standing almost directly behind him, could only hear the tapping on his fingers on his microphone. His taunt was malicious as he came back with, "We both know I can be photographed ...when I want to be."

The TV demon grimaced, the hit landing where it obviously hurt. He had little time to recover, as the cameraman began his countdown. As he hit zero, Vox's smile was back in place, just a lot less real.

"Top of the hour, folks!" Vox's voice was loud and boisterous, the rhythm and pace almost break neck. "Breaking news: in a rare interview, we're joined by none other than the King of Hell and the Devil himself, Lucifer Morningstar!" Vox leaned over, holding a hand out to indicate the fallen angel sitting beside him. "Please, give your people a little wave, your Majesty."

Lucifer resisted the urge to flip him off. Gave the camera a little wave with little enthusiasm.

Vox carried on, unphased, "Equally rare and unlikely to never happen again, fellow sinners, we also have radio talk show host, the Radio Demon himself, Alastor!"

Alastor didn't wave. He grinned straight into the camera, as if staring into the very souls of the views, eyes and teeth alight as reality itself threatened to warp around him.

The camera gave an alarming whine. The cameraman gave an alarmed cry as it threatened to give out.

Point made, Alastor seemed to remember he was supposed to be behaving. The camera stopped whining as reality returned to normal.

Vox's eye twitched. Smile strained along with his chipper tone, he said, "Your Majesty, I assume your being here is because of the attacks on the hotel your daughter is running?"

Lucifer gave him his own chipper smile. "You mean the attacks you only know about because of your voyeuristic habits?"

Vox laughed, a touch nervously. "You've clearly never dealt with the paparazzi, sire. One has to cross a few boundaries if they want to get the exclusive first."

Was that what he was going with?

Either blind to it or ignoring it, Vox glossed over Lucifer's offense, moving on to, "Please, tell us, do you have any idea who's behind the attacks? We're dying to know."

Lucifer highly doubted that. Or at least, doubted Vox cared. It was more likely he wanted the hotel to fail or get taken out, judging from his poorly concealed eagerness. He leaned his elbow onto the table, chin resting on his palm. "I'm not here to waste my time nor the listeners' with an interview." He took delight in watching Vox falter for the first time since the interrogation began. Over his shoulder, he called sweetly, "Alastor?"

Alastor's voice was just sweet and still more bloodthirsty. "Yes, sire?"

It was a show of how in tune Vox was with Alastor's moods that the TV demon was already beginning to sweat. He was doing a good job of hiding it, Lucifer would give him that. It was a pity he was sitting beside someone who could see right through him, when he chose to make the effort. Lucifer rose from his chair, the blue and black sinner nearly taking a screen full of wings as they manifested. "Be a doll and make certain Vox doesn't get any ideas. Like interfering."

"With pleasure." Alastor's words were nearly lost to his filter. The air around them crackled, the shadows in the corners of the room growing unnaturally dark. Vox dropped all pretenses of pretending he wasn't unnerved, leaning back as much to avoid the wings as to distance himself from the redheaded sinner.

Red and white wings fluttered, giving Lucifer the lift to make stepping up onto the desk look effortless. Papers flew everywhere and a few people made startled noises as they were hit with a few errant pages. His wings fanned out, allowing him to gracefully fall into a seated potion on the other side of the desk. He leaned to the side, placing his weight on the hand braced on the desk, head rolling until he was facing the other two Vees. "Velvette, if you value your life just sit there and look pretty for a bit."

Velvette narrowed her eyes to slits at him. "What the hell?"

Valentino waited to see what advice he had for him. When he received none, the pimp blew out a lung full of pink smoke. His expression turned sultry. "Nothing for me, pequeño rey?"

Lucifer didn't respond, not wanting to give the game away too soon. Relaxing his control over his form, he allowed the full extent of his corrupted, angelic form to appear on full display for all of the viewers to see. Far too many eyes focused in on not just the camera, but the cameraman and the sinners directly around him. Each of them instinctively shied away, hindbrains warning them they were out in the open and too exposed. Vox attempted to push his chair back, the area around the desk suddenly a little too hot, only to be stopped by the end of Alastor's strategically placed staff locking the chair in place.

Lucifer rolled his head back around, until he could easily stare into the camera. "Now, to clear up a few things: I could care less about sinner politics." He grinned in that way he knew looked off, even for a creature of Hell, leaning into the fact that he wasn't human and had never been human. "How you decide to throw away the one good thing you stupid, stupid little humans have going for you is up to you." His pupils were lost in a red glow as his temper spiked, the flame of hellfire blazing between his horns. " What I do take issue with is someone sending hitman to threaten my daughter over something as silly as potential lost contracts."

He slid off the desk, the sinners in front of him all collectively taking a step back. Only the cameraman stayed in place, too frozen to move. "Perhaps it's my fault, I've been away a while." He held out a hand, fingers searching until he found the particular contract he was looking for. "Perhaps it's yours for never reading the fine print." His hand closed around his desired target, a chain made of pink, translucent smoke, deceptively fragile, coming into being. One end led out the doors. The other end led off to the side, leading over to a certain Overlord.

Valentino's and Angel's contract.

The pimp held up his wrist, confusion evident on his face. "The fuck?"

Lucifer's grin was all teeth. He wrapped his hand around and around the chain until he had a nice, solid grip on it. Without warning, he viciously yanked on the chain.

Valentino was pulled so hard, his shoulder nearly popped out of its socket. The pimp yowled like a cat dropped into pool as he was sent crashing to the floor. Lucifer didn't give him the chance to recover, reeling him in like a particularly resistant fish, the Overlord shouting and cursing as he was dragged across the floor. The Devil gave no quarter, even when he had him where he wanted him, pressing his heel into Valentino's back and twisting moth's arm until it was just short breaking.

"You see," Lucifer carried on, tone bored and voice raised over the slew of insults being thrown his way, "There's this little clause in your contracts that say I have the final say in every single one of them."

"You little shit!" Valentino hissed, twisting in a way that should be impossible for someone who purportedly had a spine. "We had nothing to do with the attacks on that shithole your hija is running."

Lucifer pulled on the chain until he could hear the shoulder pop. The sinner's claws dug into the ground beneath him, glare baleful. "Maybe," Lucifer said, almost nonchalant. "But you're the lowest kind of sinner: the kind that profits on selling human flesh and locks people into contracts so they can never escape."

The moth demon snarled, composure gone. "Every one of those whores came to me willingly. I made them stars. They would be nothing without me."

The Devil peered down at him, unmerciful. All of Valentino's sins where on display for him to see and judge and he found him wanting. "Nothing gives you the right to abuse another human being."

Lucifer returned his attention to the camera. He wrapped his free hand around another section of the chain, pulling the links tight between his two fists. "Let everyone remember that your little deals mean nothing if I say so."

Without further ado, he pulled almost effortlessly on the chain, Valentino's strength that of a kittens next to his. A link, just off center, gave, pulling apart until it shattered. Each one of the links similarly followed suit, falling from his hand like crystalline shards. They vanished like the smoke they had originally appeared as before they could hit the ground.

Valentino's arm, free of the chain, fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

Lucifer stepped off his back, releasing him. Stepping around the desk this time, he held his hand out to Alastor. The Radio Demon blinked back at him, something delighted behind his gaze.

It looked a little like victory.

He took Lucifer's hand.

"The Hazbin Hotel and every one of its residents are under my protection," Lucifer declared into the stunned silence, voice projected loud and unearthly, raising the hair on ever sinner's head, save the one in front of him. He looked upon each of the sinners in the room, gaze coming to rest on the camera lens. "I will not have mercy upon anyone looking to cause my daughter anymore trouble."

To his right, a portal appeared. Without another word, he stepped through it, pulling Alastor along with him.

As everyone continued to stare, the portal vanished and they were gone.

tbc

Translations:

-Papito: Little daddy

-Mi pequeño rey: My little king

-Venado: Deer or venison. I chose this word as a way for Valentino to make a dig at the fact that Alastor's demon form is a type of food source.

-Querido: Darling, used if you love or like someone. Chosen as a shoutout to the affair they're clearly having.