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She’s lying on his chest when sleep carefully curls its way across her consciousness.
He thinks she’s asleep. He thinks she won’t remember this in the morning, so he lets his hand gently caress the delicate strands of her pale hair.
Gently. Careful not to wake her. Careful not to let her know he cares.
#my writing#character concept#joker and harley#dividers by crazyfrm#jxhq#dc fanfic#angst/fluff#creative writing#mad love#joker x harley#jarley#writeblogging#romance writing#dark romance#writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#fanfic#fanfiction#batman fanfiction#{ rel. } mad love#my posts
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How about me having been a brat for a few days and not being certain about what punishment I should have. But then you hear how I will be recording a presentation and discover the perfect opportunity
You have me do the presentation without pants and with a buttplug and cock-ring, both of them under your control. And for a time you become not just my domme, but also director, having me give my presentation over and over again because I keep stumbling over my words. And I have not earned my chance to cum 👉👈
Yes. Yes. YES.
Okay but...hon, you're GOING to have distractions during your real presentation. You need to be able to deal with them when they come up, or you're going to look silly, and you don't want that, do you?
I'm only helping you out of the kindness of my heart. You need my help, don't you? So you can do a good job?
The thing is...you probably want to get it right by the time the actual presentation arrives, though.
Because you aren't going to get to cum until you do, and I'm sure trying to present when you're that horny and desperate is going to be kinda embarrassing.
Now...again. Maybe you'll actually get it right this time ;)
#Lesson 1: Don't make Mommy mad because she is both mean and creative <3#ask nyx#nsft humiliation#nsft concept#nsft brat#fdom#bd/sm kink#fem domme#k!nk#k1nk#nyxposting
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It is very important to know people who use different parts of the internet. My fiance uses 4chan & I browse Tumblr. This way, we maxmize the radiation from all directions to form a microwave. Only the funny shit survives the nuke, bigotry burned away like so much steam.
#Textual.#Learning as I go but it applies to every weird 4chanism that has a near perfect Tumblr parallel of equal madness.#Also I say use 4chan because I don't think you can be a User on that site unless it starts living in your blood the same way#incredibly brainwashed Conservatives believe 5G roams around your veins after a vaccine.#Anyway. Did you know that against all odds. There is a thriving G&T community on 4chan that spends hours discussing niche#scenarios & adorable Big/Little concepts? Most endearing thing ever.#It is frequently bracketed by people calling each other faggots or dropping full 'ggas on a motherfucker. But.#The freedom of creativity shall not be quenched. Also?#A remarkably studious source-collection mentality. If you ask for the sauce on an image of Biggus Tit#by the Hogs above you will receive it even if you're called a retard for asking. Absolutely fascinating.#I am talking about the blue boards specifically to be fully clear. Shit is WEIRD on /pol.#MACK TAG#About me.
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#black and white#chess#chessboard#chess game#chess pieces#color#concept art#creative commons#digital art#escalator#everyday madness#federico garcía lorca#human condition#humor#made up words#neologisms#no comment#o tempora o mores#pawn#philosophizing#photo manipulation#poet in new york#regan macneil#sign of the times#social media#the internet#the exorcist#translation#trends#walt whitman
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#black and white#chess#chessboard#chess game#chess pieces#color#concept art#creative commons#digital art#escalator#everyday madness#federico garcía lorca#human condition#humor#made up words#neologisms#no comment#o tempora o mores#pawn#philosophizing#photo manipulation#poet in new york#regan macneil#sign of the times#social media#the internet#the exorcist#translation#trends#walt whitman
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just saw someone saying how much they hate all stand up comedy but their only example of a comedian they didn't think was funny was bill burr...... hello????
#imo bill burr is like kinda funny but too irritating to put up with for more than a couple minutes at a time#there are tons of wonderful stand ups out there that are nothing like that tho????#one of my favorite things about stand up comedy is that it is so open-ended and people get rly creative with it#james acaster's repertoire where he played a character with an extremely elaborate backstory over 3 hours of material#hannah gadsby's nanette which is a deeply personal exploration of mental health and sexuality and what it means to be a person#chelsea peretti's one of the greats satirizes the very concept of a stand up show#and these are just 3 i happened to think of by extremely famous people#there are hundreds of working comics currently doing incredibly creative and unique work#makes me a little mad to see someone just dismiss one of my favorite art forms#just because they don't like one guy or maybe they just don't like americans#i promise u comedy exists outside of mainstream american culture (and even within it i just gave you 3 fantastic options)#bri babbles
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honestly thinking abt it i’d definitely have preferred if danganronpa v3 had actually fully committed to the “fiction that hates you and mocks you and wants you to question why you still enjoy it bc you become brainless amoral voyeurs whenever you engage with it, you people kinda suck ass tbh actually” reading all the way to the bitter salted earth end. like i doubt i’d have *liked* the weird superiority complex vibes from it and the whole deflected creative ennui onto the audience still. but i’d for sure have to at least *respect* the gumption, the sheer full-chested audacity of the choice, especially in the context of this specific franchise, if the writing didn’t spend like an extra hour pussyfooting around doing a watered down, sugarcoated little backpedal into “oh no, not you actually bc you specifically are special and nice and good and don’t count”. this trial is way too fuckin long anyway like pick your bit and stick to it binch. call me a sucker to my face binch come on!
#ndrv3 spoilers#drv3 spoilers#like if i go back to ch6 now i spend like four hours doing the logan roy 'fuck oooff' on a loop lmao#tbh a long multi installment narrative will always always be better with a strictly defined end where it goes 'no more.' ofc.#but that works better when like. the writer actually Wants to make the last one#they want it to end but they also really want to Make the last part. not to just have it Be Over With#but still sell another game heeheehoo#and also if you take this legit approach you have to. once again. commit lmao you actually have to stop making more#can't have the apocalyptic (figuratively.) end all and then keep trying to make tha cash money off anime and spin offs and shit lool#if u gonna point and laugh and call me a lil bitch that's your call man i get it but you gotta actually. commit. to. the. bit.#like i couldn't even be that mad. like creatively speaking. boy you picked what you were going for an threw yr whole ass into it fr#except i'm a special boy and actually Not a lil bitch (sadness) so hmm im allowed to keep buying more Kids Getting Murdurrred Franchise#pls dont be taking this too seriously i genuinely do not care abt this series enough to hold strong opinions either way lol#v3 just. as a concept amuses me more than anything. in an absurd way. like that vine of the screaming chorus of rubber chickens#danganronpa spoilers#drv3#danganronpa#oh and besides zero time dilemma did the whole meta twist series ending better ahAHAHAHAHHEEHEE
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i think it’s so funny to be a writer with multiple stories that you flesh out and develop and world build and then never write.. like yes i have an incredibly intricate explanation for how this worlds religion works based on how each individual fantasy culture and race i made perceives the afterlife and deities of the world (that i also made up). yes there is deeply ingrained stigma even lasting into present day in my story that still impacts some of the characters more than others. yes it’s also a metaphor for modern day religious fanaticism and the way it others people for no discernible reason. yes there are also unicorn people and phoenix people and basilisk people and werewolves and vampires and necromancers and sirens and hydras and giants of all different varieties and yes i love this story dearly. no i won’t ever write it. why? reasons.
#dandy talks#my ocs#LIKE. i have so many characters!! and the world is so interesting to me! and sure the plot is half baked but that’s irrelevant!#and also the reason i haven’t actually written anything for it yet. but mostly it’s irrelevant!#and i’ll need to go back and look at my story notes and stuff for it to make sure i’ve got everything and stuff#and revamp some outdated concepts because i haven’t done any proper story building for it in like a year or two#it doesn’t help i have like several different worlds that i take turns worldbuilding#and NONE of them have a solid plot! it’s an issue!!#i really need to get at least a very rough story outline for at least ONE of these stories otherwise i’m gonna go mad#why must the creative process be like clawing my way up from hell tooth and nail. this sucks <- subjects myself to it willingly and with jo#man. i love my little guys so much tho#liu my beloved. liu is one of my oldest characters actually (as in i’ve had him as a character for a very long time. he’s still a teenager)#i need to post more art of my characters. they’re so scrungly
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Thinking about outsider art and how beautiful and amazing and important it is, and yet a lot of the interest in it is not necessarily in the lives, stories, and messages of the primarily mentally ill/disabled people that make it, but rather the fact they're "crazy" and "insane" and "holy shit those artists must have been on drugs or something!" like holy shit can you be any more fucking stigmatizing towards mentally ill/disabled artists whose conditions heavily influence their work
#hi I'm Micki#I'm a mentally ill artist whose mental illnesses heavily influence their work#and I'm very mad about this!!!#like christ can abled people PLEASE be normal about disabled and mentally ill ppl for like five fucking seconds please I am BEGGING you#like you can enjoy and celebrate outsider art without further perpetuating ableist attitudes towards the artists that make it#also i should clarify that there's absolutely nothing wrong with using drugs to help with creating art or coming up with concepts for art#but the idea that ppl can only come up with super creative and conceptual art with the aid of drugs is just. not correct at all lol#anyway#shut up micki#art#art rant#also uhhhh feel free to tell me I'm wrong about anything in this post bc I love hearing outside perspectives#and also I am not an authority figure on ableism in the art world whatsoever
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#now that i have completely changed setting for my plot i am like#i need to get gayer i need to get angstier i need get Self indulgent More#the amount of things i can get away with has increased now that the setting has gone from vaguely realistic urban fantasy to High Fantasy#folklore wiyh creative Liberties with some slice of life on the side#anyway im just thinking how i can make my ocs plots worse for them and better for me#Reynante and naoise already have a lot going on but i also have to (want to) add more Depth and by depth I mean angst and Gay#and then kia who is now just a little guy with maybe some vague fae fuckery going on and a bit of angst that i need to elaborate on....#and feliks has a good foundation for plot but he needs more ingredience i feel#and the. ofc there are the ocs i want and haven't gotten around to fiitting in yet#Joseph and mara are there in theory#erina and penelope Need to be there but i have yet to figure out how and i am mad about it#trying to figure out the ratio of human charatcers to fae characters ? human charatcers are boring as a concept to me Now but I don't want#to overdo the fae thing too hard#a few more humans is fine but they will need plots#i feel liek erina is just by default and essence a fae no matter what but idk what she should do!!!!!!#holds my ocs like icecreams abd shakes them around
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#printing services#graphic design services#sign printing services#vehicle wraps#mad creative concepts#mad creative
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more words to describe your character's feelings
Doubt
begrudge, controvert, despair, disapprove, disbelieve, discountenance, dissent, fume, hesitate, lovelorn, mind, mistrust, objection, oppugn, question, reject, repudiate, rue, scruple, skepticism, suspect, wonder
Elated
affect, alleviate, appeal, appeasement, arrest, attract, awe, bedazzle, bemuse, brighten, charm, defuse, divert, elevate, enamor, encourage, endear, enliven, enthrall, enticement, excite, fascinate, fortify, galvanize, gladden, gratify, hearten, inflame, inspire, interest, invigorate, lighten, matter, perk up, prod, rally, reassure, rouse, satisfy, strike, tantalize, temper, tickle, touch, wake/waken, whet
Fear
apprehension, dismay, horror, panic, terror, trepidation
Hate
abhor, abominate, aggression, anger, antagonism, atrocity, bad blood, blow up, burn, deplore, detest, disdain, disinclination, disrespect, dissent, enmity, execrate, frown, fury, horror, incivility, inhumanity, lament/lamentation, loathe, malice, odium, outrage, pique, rancor, resent, revulsion, seethe, spite, umbrage, venom, wrath
Love
acceptance, admiration, adoration, adulation, affection, amour, appreciate, approval, attention, bask, bewitched, canonize, charity, consideration, constancy, delight in, dig, discrimination, dote on/dote upon, enamored, enjoy, esteem, exult, fall for, fascinated, favor, flame, fond, get a kick out of, gratitude, idolize, leaning, like, mad, mercy, passion, predilection, prize, rapture, respect, revere/reverence, savor, taste, thrill, treasure, venerate, zeal
Of concern
afraid, alarm, anxiety, apprehension, concern, craze, dismay, distraction, distress, encumbrance, feeling, foreboding, guilt, hang up, horror, jitters, jumpy, misgiving, obsession, one-track mind, passion, petrified, puzzled, question, suspicion, terror, trouble, weight, wonder, worry
Surprise
alarm, appall, astound, backfire, bedazzle, bewilder, confound, dazzle, dumbfound, electrify, frighten, overwhelm, petrify, shock, startle, stun, stupefy, terrify
NOTE
The above are concepts classified according to subject and usage. It not only helps writers and thinkers to organize their ideas but leads them from those very ideas to the words that can best express them.
It was, in part, created to turn an idea into a specific word. By linking together the main entries that share similar concepts, the index makes possible creative semantic connections between words in our language, stimulating thought and broadening vocabulary.
Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary Definitions of Emotions in Psychology ⚜ More Word Alternatives for Emotions
#vocabulary#langblr#writeblr#writing reference#spilled ink#creative writing#dark academia#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#poetry#literature#writing tips#writing prompt#writing#words#lit#studyblr#fiction#light academia#writing resources
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its impossible to have conversations about anything on tumblr because we all love to be sooo academic and thoughtful but as soon as our beliefs are challenged its ermmm everything is a social construct and youre a fascist for ever thinking in terms of social constructs. or, to be more concise: tumblr heard the term social construct once and hasnt shut the fuck up since
#if you want to call something 'meaningless' then call it meaningless#and then inevitably come to terms with the fact that those two things are not synonymous#you cant have a belief system that values human choice and freedom and creativity and community and understanding#while also thinking that anything thats made up is bullshit and fake#concepts in a broad sense ARE made up by people. and thats why theyre worth having conversations over#and why its worth thinking which terms go or do not go with them#you will find that taxonomy is often something beautiful and useful#this makes no sense without context i know. i will also not be providing it on account of im not going to get mad on the internet <3
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The three main logos of the three POV leads in Unsecret Identity: Eric Icarus - Book One. Each symbol denotes their segment/chapter - a fun design incorporated into the paperback edition which is coming soon (I promise!)
#artwork#blogging#concept art#author#design#fiction#graphic design#digital art#illustration#book blog#indie writer#writerscommunity#logotype#creative logo#logo design#logomaker#logoinspiration#logo#symbols#insignia#superhero#mad scientists#booklr#novel#indie author
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PAY YOUR DEBT
Lando Norris x Driver!Reader 7.6K words
Summary: Lando's Austrian crash could not have come at a worse time, and now he's scrambling to find someone to replace him in the upcoming Quadrant video. He's so lucky you care, and that you're horrible at lying. Or in which, reader takes Lando's place during Quadrants; 'Spill Your Guts', and they manage to pull some interesting information out of her.
Childhood Friends to Lovers, Pining, Slowburn
Despite having never met you, the cast of Quadrant were more than familiar with your name for one of a few reasons. The first being that, you were of course, a renowned Formula 1 driver beloved by many. The second being their own proximity with another famous Formula 1 driver who so happened to be your Mclaren teammate.
For years they watched from a distance, saw your interviews and watched your races, cheering their team in orange on as the two of you dominated race weekends once again. It was obvious Lando was fond of you just off the way the two interacted on track, but beyond their parasocial concept of your relationship, they knew he liked you because of the sheer number of times your name was mentioned in the Quadrant circle. Lando’s inability to refrain from speaking about you was frankly an ongoing joke at this point. Though they playfully rolled their eyes at every mention of your name, they knew they couldn't necessarily criticize him for it either. Its hard not to talk about people you spend a lot of time around, and naturally, with you two being teammates and all, it wasn’t all that strange for him to want speak about you.
And when they consider the fact that your history stems way beyond just the devoted McLaren camaraderie you share, it’s hard to be mad at him when he brings you up. You two did grow up carting together after all, entering every stage of your lives with the other. You were childhood friends.
Except they had also spent a lot of time with Lando. Yeah, you might work with him, but so do they, and they knew he wasn't just talking about you because you were around often. They knew he wasn't just mentioning you because you grew up swerving along the same tracks or because you now wore the same bright papaya orange.
The man so obviously liked you and they all knew it. He mentioned your smile far too often to hide it, and he always seemed a bit too proud when he talked about being the reason you did. Not a single Quadrant member has ever spoken to you before, and yet somehow each one could articulate the way your eyes crinkled tight when you laughed or how your lips pursed hard when you found something funny but didn't want to show it.
He liked you, even if he denied it.
And so the Quadrant cast begged and begged to meet you. Eager to see the woman who has evidently captured the man's attention, despite his insistence to the contrary to no avail. Though, their efforts hadn't entirely fallen on deaf ears; in fact, Lando had been trying to get you in a Quadrant video since he founded the damn company, begging for nearly four years, only to be met with the same dismissive glare from your gleaming eyes every time.
“One day, Lando. Not today.”
One day, you would say. Though he’s starting to think one day is no day at all. In your defense, opportunities away from the relentless gaze of the media are far and few between and the brief moments of peace you manage to find are precious. The thought of spending that private time filming yet another video for millions to watch has never been particularly enticing. As much as you care for Lando, sometimes you cherish your downtime just a little bit more.
But... this time he was stressed, and you could see it. He was supposed to film a Quadrant video this week. Finally home in London for this week’s Grand Prix, at last, he was able to put a little more effort into his personal business. It was one of the very few times a year he was able to participate in the creative side of the brand. The whole video had been planned, written, set up and was ready to be shot. The date was set, it was finally coming together. But then Lando crashed. He crashed in Austria and now his work at Mclaren had essentially been doubled for Silverstone week and he had no time to film. And now all the week’s worth of effort put into preparing the video had been flung out the window. It was supposed to be yet another spill your guts video focused on Lando and his career but now with last week's events disrupting this week's schedule, they were going to have to rewrite all the questions and find someone to fill his spot.
And so you’d watched him for the past few days on calls, asking around to see who could be available on such short notice. Between his team of producers, the other members of Quadrant and possible candidates for the video, on top of the copious amounts of obligations he had at the Mclaren headquarters, you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty knowing you were spending all the current free time you had between track work lounging around the Hilton pool. You technically had no reason not to help. Changing the script wouldn’t be an easy task with the little time they had. You knew filling in meant they would have their empty spot filled and they wouldn’t need to tweak the script as much. You were a driver too, the questions they would have asked Lando still mostly applied to you as well. And you knew it’d do Lando a huge favor; lift such a massive weight off his already heavy shoulders so he could run around McLaren focusing on what actually mattered most this week - getting his car ready for the upcoming race.
And so you did it. You smiled so kindly at Lando on that faithful Wednesday afternoon and so calmly announced that if he was struggling to find a replacement, you’d be happy to help him out just this once. It was finally one day, you would take the spot for Quadrant.
Landos face had never expressed so much surprise yet simultaneous relief. And it was only a matter of seconds until Landos arm had reached entirely around your waist and your feet had left the ground. You caught a few questioning glares being sent your way from a couple Mclaren engineers in the garage, but the breath struggling to find its way to your lips at the force of it all left you unbothered. “Y/n, thank you so much, you don’t understand how much this helps me out! I owe you so bad.”
You would never say it to him, but his smile in that moment had almost paid his debt entirely right then and there. All the nerves and doubt about the decision you just made had nearly swept right by as you watched his face light with adoration. But instead you sent him a defeated grin as he placed you down on your heels. “I’m gonna hold you to your words. I better not regret this.”
“You won't, I swear.”
__ Regret this you will. As soon as the quadrant team had received the call that in his place, Lando's fellow teammate would instead be filling in for his absence, they immediately knew this wouldn’t be the video everyone was anticipating. They would take this opportunity to finally squeeze out the information they had been waiting to know for years. This would be their first time meeting you, and god was it a gold's mine worth of an opportunity. Not only would they be able to question you about your life as an F1 driver, they could also question you about your romantic life as an F1 driver, specifically about your relationship with Lando, a topic you successfully eluded everywhere else. But this video was the perfect opportunity. They would have a polygraph on set, and you were doing Lando a favor. You couldn’t leave and most importantly, you couldn’t lie.
The topic of your love life wasn't a new one, and a flurry of greedy journalists digging for a story have attempted to ask about your potential feelings for anyone and everyone on the grid. You always denied ever liking any fellow drivers and kept adamant that your driving and personal lives stay separate. But they had Lando as a secondary source - maybe to a fault - and from everything the man had explained, there was no way you weren't at least a little into him. And they were gonna get it out of you.
Was it a bit unethical? Maybe. Was it manipulative? Perhaps. Had Lando already told them he’d cut their pay if they fucked with you. Absolutely. But he’d be fine once he hears what you would inevitably say. He could thank them after they got you to confess the crush you just had to have on Lando.
So here you were, staring at a set full of very enthusiastic YouTubers, all beyond eager to be sharing a table with the phantom of a woman they had been hearing about for almost 4 years now.
Not only were you a talented and beloved motorsports athlete, more importantly, you were the girl their mate liked. and as a friend, they were curious, but as youtubers, they were out for blood. And if there's one thing a group of Youtubers were going to do, it was get you to admit your deepest darkest secrets for online content.
There would be no filling, only spilling, they'd be sure of that.
Oblivious as you were, despite how nervous you initially felt about participating in the video, it had been smooth sailing so far along. Everyone was nice enough and you could see why Lando enjoyed the company of these people, they were all quite funny after all, and the questions were not the absolute mood draining, time wasters you were used to receiving.
You were nervous coming into this but maybe this wouldn’t be all that bad.
The table settled from their laughter as Ria finally swallowed whatever it was she had been forced to bite into. Bull testicles? You didn’t want to know, and honestly it didn’t really matter all that much anymore because for the third time round, it was your turn again, and you were now being strapped up to the Polygraph machine.
Max Fewtrell's eyes sparked with a menacing joy as they locked with your own. He was hosting this video, meaning he was safe from the contents of the table, but more importantly, he got to interrogate the girl his best mate was into. He was the only person who knew that for a fact thanks to the multitude of conversations Lando has had with him in private, begging for advice on what to do. As bad as he felt about it, Max could never give Lando a straight answer, he didn’t know his fellow driver, didn’t know what it was she felt, and if she truly meant what she was saying in her interviews, it wasn’t looking too good for his friend.
This was finally his opportunity to help out.
“Y/n…” His voice carried menacingly around the room, dragging out each syllable to draw the suspense. You eyed him playfully, keeping your guard up as his eyes flickered from you to the card in his hand and then back up to you a few times. The last few questions had been relatively tame, all relating to your job; who your favorite team really was, who you disliked the most on the grid, (you'd had your fair few arguments with Stroll, but you bit into an 1000 year old egg because you were not going to admit it.)
A part of you hoped they were giving you easy questions because you were a guest - a good friend of Landos at that, but at the back of your mind you knew better. And that’s why when the question escaped Max’s lips, you really didn’t feel all that surprised. “Do you really mean it when you say you like to keep your professional life and your private life separate?”
Simple enough, but you were smart enough to know the implications of the question, so you hesitated. “... Yes.”
A pause, no buzz. “That’s true.” Ethan comments.
“Okay that’s too easy, let me rephrase it.” Max’s gaze bore straight into your own. “Do you really mean it when you say you don’t see any of the boys on the grid as like, candidates? You don’t find any of them attractive?”
The groan that escaped you was so inherently guttural you hadn’t even noticed you made the noise. Everyone laughed at your reaction and it seemed so light hearted on the surface, but inside your mind was beginning to race, heartbeat speeding up as if the peddle was full throttle. This was exactly what you were nervous about.
You had felt a bit uneasy once finding out a polygraph machine would be present, and crossed your fingers that the team wouldn’t get into the topic of your romantic ties with the boys on the grid. You guess your luck didn't really extend past the track. initially, no ties with the other drivers sparked any fears within you at the question. You really didn't have any romantic ideas of anyone, the others truly were just friends, boys you grew up with, some like brothers. None of the boys had ever made your eyes wander, or ever had your heart skipping beats when you made eye contact. There wasn’t a single driver you could think of that had ever made you nervous or left you hoping for anything more than just a friendship. No one except that one boy. That one stupid boy that had led you into this goddamned position in the first place. That one stupid boy who’s mates were all gathered around the table with eager eyes directed entirely towards you, waiting for an answer. This was truly your worst nightmare. Maybe you did like Lando, maybe the moment had awoken within your days in F2; seeing him grow from the scrawny kid on the track to something else entirely. So what of it? No one needed to know that. Curse you and your incessant want to help that stupid boy through his stress. Why did he need to make you care about him enough to do this? Now, you could ‘fill your guts' if you really wanted to, but with a yes or no question like this, no answer is just as much an answer in itself. You had watched this game enough to know how it worked, and so you opted to take your chances against the polygraph machine. “Yes I mean it.” One phrase. A simple phrase muttered through a guilty smile, and yet you could hear your heart through your ribs as you told the lie and it was so, so silent after that. The anticipation felt like the devil himself had engulfed the room in its glory. The faces at the table had your palms sweating further and Ginge’s ability to hold such intense eye contact left you wondering if there was more to this than it seemed. God, was this the longest 3 seconds of your life. But you were good under pressure. If you can keep your heart steady driving at 350 kilometers an hour, you could keep your heart steady enough to lie your way out of this question-
Beep.
Suddenly the room was ablaze with noise, yelling and screaming as everyone expressed their disbelief yet absolute excitement at the answer. Incoherent sentences thrown your way one on top of the other but your brain couldn’t decipher a single sentence, instead engulfed in the thought of how much this would change the way all the boys spoke to you, how Lando spoke to you, now that they knew you did like someone. You could already hear Danny’s teasing voice followed up by his sly, all knowing smirk. Fuck. Was it too late to back out? Maybe you could bribe Lando into deleting the footage.
But as you glanced forward into Max’s eyes, you saw the silent omniscient smirk that trickled on to his face - like the calm amidst the chaos - and you knew there was no going back. You were cooked. Your face fell into the palm of your hands, sheepish laughs slipping past your lips as you spoke in a slow, bashful tone, “No! It’s-.. It’s not like that!” But damage control is useless when the damage is already done. “Oh really?!” Ginges thick accent was next to echo across the room over top all the others, “Cause it seems like you’ve been secretly canoodling with some fast bastards and lying to all us about it!”
Ethan was the first to laugh, and soon everyone else's laughter followed suit, and as defeated as you felt a loud chuckle slipped past your lips at the comment. At the very least they were being funny about it and not trying to make a huge deal of it.
However, for the time being they couldn't prove it but once you admitted it, there was no going back, so you figured doubling down and playing dumb was the best option. “No- like, okay; the boys are good looking, they're attractive but that doesn't mean I necessarily like any of them. I grew up with these boys, you know, they’re like brothers to me. Your machine is definitely bugging out or something.”
“Nah, I think it’s working fine.” The reintroduction of Max’s voice had the room settling once again. It seemed all the quadrant members were on the edge of their seats, like they had been anticipating this the whole time.
“But if you’re sure it’s not working properly, I can try asking a different question, rephrase it a little better for you?" Max's face turned towards the camera. "In fact, we have a little tradition here!” His eyes gazing through the lens as he spoke. “Spill your guts tradition says that guests have to answer the final question and rules are no eating on the last round.” Now his eyes turned to you, “Truth’s only, so I hope you have your answer ready.”
You were just moments away from opening your mouth to protest, the words at the tip of your tongue; No thanks it’s fine,’ or even just a ‘I’ve already answered two questions, it’s not my turn anymore.’ as petty as it was. But the words were never able to slip past your overly gnawed on lips before your heart was sinking to the absolute pits of your stomach. “Who do you like on the grid and why is it Lando?”
Panic. “God! No- no it’s not Lando!” Deny. “Definitely, not Lando!” Deny.
The polygraph machine was silent for a moment as everyones eyes flickered over to the screen, and you endured the tension in real time as your forehead came down, lips pursing. And yet nothing came, no beeping sound to be heard.
To this all the boys are silent, and Ria’s eyes flicker up to Max as the man furrows his brows down. There was no way they managed to make the driver inadvertently admit she liked someone, just for it to not be Lando. You had to like him. All the stories Lando told him, all the words you spoke to him repeated back to Max, all the looks Lando was adamant he observed. All the nights clubbing, celebrating their wins together in videos Max himself saw. Your hands would travel just a little too far up, or your eyes would hold his just a little too long. It had to be Lando. He knows it.
“Okay, okay fair enough. Then I'll ask again, more direct. Y/n, do you like Lan-”
You knew the flaring panic in your eyes was not doing much to help your case, neither were your next words, but by the grace of god, or maybe his pity, that machine didn't beep despite your lie and you had just been handed an out, and lord be damned if you weren't going to capitalize on that inconclusive result. “Wait!”
You need to be smart about this. You needed to give them something they wanted whilst not giving them everything. A little sacrifice to spare a lifetime of embarrassment, and probably a long and testing conversation between you and Lando. “How about I take one bite of every single thing on this table, chew and swallow instead.” Your eyes held so much hope, pleading for an out but Max only laughs at your soft little doe eyed expression and you couldn't help but frown.
“Okay, that’d be quite funny.” Ria’s laugh suddenly bit the air, and you had to silently thank her for subverting the attention elsewhere for a moment.
“I wouldn’t do that for no one, especially not for Lando. Are you sure you don’t like him y/n?” You knew Niran was joking but god did his comment make your hands sweat. Calm down.
Max shrugged, ignoring the remarks of his fellow Quadrant members. “Rules are rules, can’t eat your way out of the last question, you have to answer.”
You have to think fast. “...Okay, well…" Hm. "How about this?” It’s the only thing you could think of on the fly, but maybe it’ll work. “I’ll tell you the details, but- I won’t mention any names. So you get to know the whens and what’s, without knowing the who’s." Your laugh was light hearted, though it sounded more nervous than humorous.
A silence suddenly engulfed the room, eyes darting back and forth as the people on the table thought over the offer. In fact the room was so silent, you felt you could hear the gears turning in their heads and you couldn’t help but feel your heart rate speed up just a little more at the prospect. These people were essentially marketing geniuses. They were youtubers whose jobs it was to get as many views as possible. Whatever the decision, you knew it wasn’t about to be in your favor, but about what favored Quadrant as a brand. You were no good at marketing - you drove fast cars even faster for god sake, but damn if you didn’t hope your idea was good enough for them.
Ginge’s voice was the first to sound. “Nah, nah, stop trying to change the conversation speedy gonzales, you think ‘cause you’re a bloody F1 driver you can- you can bend the rules!? It may slide over there princess but it ain’t gonna slide ‘ere.” His finger pointed down into the table with a glare that almost felt real and you were really trying to think but now you were laughing.
So was everyone else apparently, because it took you a moment to hear Steve’s smooth voice through all the noise, “Alright, but we’re already putting the girl through a lot.” Then finally Max spoke again. He was really starting to feel like the governing power here, “Okay hear me out. Names are easy to find when you have a story. We get the story and then we evaluate.” His eyes bore directly at you, laughing as he spoke. Max knew with whatever story you told, he could just go right to Lando and together they could eventually connect the dots. He wasn’t trying to out you to everyone… just to Lando.
After a moment of deliberation Aarav spoke, “All agreed?” To which everyone seemed to nod in agreement.
Max nodded his head. “Alright Y/n, you win. In that case, this guy you like-”
“-I don’t like him-” “-How long are we talking?... This guy you like.” The last comment had a playful laugh leaving your lips as you brought your nail to your mouth. He was purposefully pushing your buttons.
Your lips, previously curled into a smile, had now pursed at the question. “I don’t like him.” You reiterate. “It was like a small little crush if anything.”
“Was it recent?” Max questioned. “No, god it was years ago.”
Beep. Fuck, you completely forgot about the Polygraph. You could ring that stupid things neck. Come on, man throw me a bone or something. Max smiled at the revelation, glancing over at Ria as she spoke through her smirk. “Must be more than just a small little crush if your heart beat is rising at the thought of him.” To this, your head hung low as your laugh sounded. “I plead the fifth.”
You couldn’t even imagine how you would look to any viewers at home once this came out. They had well and truly cornered you here.
“Well this isn’t a bloody democracy now is it, this is an ambush.” You're very right Ginge this really is an ambush, you thought. There might be no escaping this one.
“When did you first notice you liked this person?” Ria was determined to keep the conversion on track. This is the most anyone had ever gotten out of you regarding your love life, and it being about another driver? Potentially Lando?! They were so close to what they wanted. You were silent for a moment, assessing the people staring on with anticipation. You’d only ever told this story to two people, your mom and your best friend. Were you really about to expose it to the world? The polygraph strapped to your chest said you were.
“I-... I first felt it a couple years back.”
Compliance. They got you.
“How far back we talking?” Max questioned.
“I don’t know…” your eyes flickered up at him. “Maybe early F2 days?” Ria’s eyes just about bugged out of her head as you answered, hands coming down onto the table with a gasp. “That’s like over 5 years ago!” Her reaction had you groaning, face turning a shade red enough to match the ferraris you race against as you sunk down into your seat. “Now I need to know! There had to have been a moment where you felt it! Because you had been racing with these boys for years! There has to be a moment of clarity, or was it like, progressive? Or-?”
“It- It was definitely progressive in some ways but I do remember the moment it kind of.. hit me.”
“Was it sudden?”
“So sudden.” You laughed. “Tell us!” It felt strange to engage in this conversation, you had sworn to yourself that no one else would ever hear about the feelings you had buried away for years now. Was it better to speak or to die? That truly was the question… But, It was out now, everyone knew you had feelings for one of your teammates; at least one of your F2 ones. What more harm could the details afflict? Besides you’d raced against a multitude of drivers in your F2 career, many of which never even made it to the current F1 grid so the chances of anyone guessing who you were even talking about had to be slim. Speak it was.
“We were-” The observant eyes of the Quadrant members beamed on at you as you bit your lip in deliberation, but the debate in your brain was finally over, and so you took a breath in.
“We were in between seasons beforehand, so I hadn’t really seen the boys in a few months. And I remember walking into one of the common rooms, where a bunch of the boys were all sitting around before the race, and again, I hadn’t seen these boys for quite a bit.” Your hands moved with every word you spoke, “And the thing about the F2 is that, we were all about 17 to 18 right, so most of the boys had already had their growth spurts, puberty and all that… except for this one guy.” Your eyes were bright as you recalled the memory, a laugh chasing the ends of your lips as the table fell silent.
“And at this rate - in my 17 year old brain - the only thing that ever really mattered to me was racing. Like I could genuinely have cared less about boys and relationships and all that, I’d never had a boyfriend and I was so disinterested in it. To me these boys were my friends off track and my competitors on, nothing in between. So I remember seeing everyone I hadn't seen for while and not really thinking much of it. But then my eyes kind of looked on and… noticed.. him.” God that sounds so corny but you were trying to be inconspicuous, not give away too many details. It wasn’t working.
“Him?” Max smirked.
“Him.” You doubled down. “The person.” You glared as a light laugh sounded. “He had always been a bit more on the smaller side, I guess? A 'late bloomer.'” The phrase came to you. “And I don’t know what the fuck happened in those four months we were away but god did puberty hit that motherfucker like a truck.” This time the laughter was a lot louder and you leant back, suddenly a little more comfortable now that the weight had been lifted off your chest. “It was like, he had gone from this scrawny little kid everyone used to pick on to this… man in the blink of an eye and my brain could not comprehend it.”
“Moment of clarity.” Ria laughed and you laughed alongside her.
“No really! Like that’s really what it felt like. I remember hugging everyone because I hadn’t seen them in so long, but when it came to this guy, I just, like- stared and nodded at him and he gave me the weirdest look cause I'd never done that before!” Your voice was thick with embarrassment as you chuckled, and everyone joined in your laughter. Then you stuck up your pointer finger. “But it gets worse.” You swallowed. “So my brain’s already kind of short circuiting in that moment and I guess he thought my odd behavior just wasn't worth his time because then he just goes on, puts his hands down and takes off his shirt-”
“What?!” Ethan yelled.
“Because we were racing soon and they always would! They would change around the paddock all the time! It’s so normal, they still do it, and I never, ever thought anything of it, like it never phased me. But this one time, when he just lifted his shirt over his head and I was already feeling things I’d never felt before, I was already confused, and oh my god. I don’t know what happened to me.”
Once again the table was booming with laughter. “No, it was so bad. Definitely one of my worst moments. It got to the point where one of the other boys; no names - had to smack me alongside the head and tell me to stop glaring.”
Max’s eyes lit up as he heard the last part. “Wait, people noticed?” “Not people, just the one, I think. If anyone else did, they never said anything.”
“Huh.” Max nodded. “And you don’t feel this way anymore?”
The word came without hesitance, “No,” you shook your head.
Beep.
Max had just found his jackpot moment. He had the information he needed.
What a week it had been. Between the guilt of Austria, the subsequent frantic Mclaren schedule leading up to Silverstone and the stress of the Quadrant video, Lando felt he could truly take his first breath of fresh air knowing at least one of those problems was officially resolved.
The day was nearing its end meaning you were probably just about done filming with his crew and were likely headed back to the hotel for some well deserved rest before a hectic day of simulation practice and debriefing tomorrow.
He knows he has already done it 1000 times over, but he really needed to thank you for the favor you did him this week. No matter how much you spoke of all free time you had, he knew you were really just as busy with race prep, it wasn’t the simple ‘schedule squeeze’ you had made it out to be and he was more than grateful.
“What time did you say Y/n was coming back?” Charles’ voice rang loud throughout the room as his eyes flickered up from his phone. A few of the drivers had decided to spend a not so usual night in Max's hotel room sharing a few drinks. Camaraderie and all that, especially after the tension of last week.
“She should be finishing up now.”
“Is she coming back here?” Charles continued, still glancing between his phone and Lando’s eyes, fingers tapping briskly over the screen.
“I’m not sure, I haven’t spoken to her. Why?” Landos eyebrows furrowed down as he asked.
“Nothing, Alex was asking, that's all. I think she was going to stop by if so but I’ll tell her don’t worry.” To this Lando hummed. As much as he hoped you would stop by - hoped you would have a few drinks with them because you always got a little touchy and so much more bold with your advances when you did (and he’d be completely lying if he said he didn’t love it everytime) - he also knew how exhausting a day of filming was. Further, he knew his friends, and as much as he had scolded them - put them through the ringer about not messing with you, he knew them well enough to know they would do it anyways. You would probably go straight back to the room, and while he understood, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.
Distracted with his thoughts of you, he had almost missed the buzzing of his phone on the table besides the couch armrest he had been leaning against, if it hadn’t been for Carlos’ voice breaking the trail his mind was wandering. “Lando compadre, your phone.”
Snapping his eyes to the side, Lando quickly reached out and turned it over to see Max Fewtrell's name splayed across the screen. And being too lazy to pick up the phone and assuming he was just calling to assure him that filming went well, he swiped his finger across the screen and pressed the speaker button to talk.
“Yeah mate, how’d it go?”
“She has feelings for a driver.”
Woah. No hello, no how are you, not even a build up to the revelation? It felt as if the world had stopped spinning as every single person in the room froze to look back at Lando with wide eyes.
“W-What?” Landos heart felt still in his chest as he spoke.
“We got her to talk about her relationships on the grid-”
“-You dickhead! I told you not to-”
“-I know you told us not to push her, but It wasn’t me!”
“You’re telling me she just admitted that on her own?” Landos voice was laced with sarcasm, a scoff of knowing disbelief leaving his throat. Bullshit.
“No! … Ria did it.”
“Max you muppet, she was doing me a favor! She probably hates me now.” Lando sighed into his hands before peaking through his fingers to glance around. All three boys; Charles, Carlos and Verstappen all had their heads turned towards the phone with wide eyes.
“Well, that’s the thing,” Max laughed. “Maybe not! She said there was a driver she had a crush on during her formula 2 days, she wouldn’t admit who and when we asked if she still liked them she said no, but the buzzer went off. She was lying, Lando.” The silence in the room seemed deathly thick as the words left Fewtrells mouth, the three other boys blinking at the words they were hearing. They were sure to be experiencing the same emotions Lando himself had been. Shock, confusion, maybe a little intrigue. The boys had been teasing you for years about your relationship status. You had been single for so long, yet constantly surrounded by men so it was inevitable that the conversations would arise; you had to like someone. Nevertheless, you always stood firm, exclaiming that always being around the boys just made it even easier not to.
After years of the same answers, with absolutely no indication to suggest otherwise, it was hard not to believe the words you spoke. And when you started dating your then boyfriend a few years ago - now ex, thank god for Lando - and bringing him around the paddock; a random guy none of the boys knew very well, the teasing well and truly died down. You really didn’t like anyone on the grid.
But now here they were hearing that the years of teasing, the years of questions, of loud drunken debates and near screaming matches had all been in effort to hide the truth they all suspected. A truth you had been hiding for over 5 years apparently.
The silence must have stuck out to Max Fewtrell beyond the phone, as he seemed to continue talking in the absence of a response. “Here’s what we managed to get out of her. He was an F2 driver that raced with her. She was close to him because he was one of the first people she saw after off season. She had raced with him before, so it wasn’t a new driver. And get this, he was a ‘late bloomer'- was one of the smallest in the comp before he shot up.”
Suddenly it was as if the gears were beginning to turn in Lando’s head, and he couldn’t help but pick up on the obvious smile Fewtrell definitely wore behind the phone. A late bloomer? There weren't many of those by the time they had reached Formula 2, and if there was one thing Lando was, it was a late bloomer. And it seemed everyone else had put the same cogs together, because now all the boys seated around were looking at him with sly smirks and cocked brows.
God, there was no way. Not a single chance! Lando had spent the past however many years of his life stumbling after this girl, chasing your shadow in hopes for just a single moment of something more between you. That you would glance at him from a distance for as long as he did you, yearn to talk to him as much as he did you, sit up and think about him as often as he did you. He had liked you for as long as he could remember, and while he admits it may have been more akin to puppy love back in his teen years, that innocent crush quickly developed into something so much more intense as he got to be close to you. He wasn’t really afraid to admit he had feelings for you, and while he's never really said it out loud, he also made no attempts to hide it either, and it quickly became obvious to all your mutual friends that he liked you.
The two youngest single people on the paddock that grew up together, now teammates, who were forced to be around each other everyday but somehow were still never apart, even when it wasn’t required, together anyway. Except one was obviously in love and the other would never like a driver, personal life and professional life were strictly separate.
Beep. Lies.
Fuck, no, he couldn’t get his hopes up like this. It’s something, but it also doesn't really mean anything.
“Okay but, there were a lot of damn drivers on the f2 grid. There were a few late bloomers, and she was friends with plenty of the other guys that never made it to Formula 1. She- she could be talking about a lot of people.”
“You didn’t think I'd call you with all this doubt, Bob?” Max’s voice was smug and mischievous and Lando couldn’t help but wince at the dumb nickname. “Respect my name. I wouldn’t leave without something to attest. Apparently she was caught staring at the guy by another driver. Another driver knows, or at least they noticed.”
“F2 years you said?” Verstappen's voice rang loud, it almost made Lando jump from the change in bass.
“That’s what y/n said.”
Verstappen's eyes seem harsh as his brows move down to come over his lids. “Coming back from the off season?”
“...Yeah?” Fewtrell agrees.
In the blink of an eye Verstappen’s tense face had quickly fallen into a bright and humorous expression, eyes squinting tight as his head fell back in a loud laugh, “Oh my god!”
“What?” Lando questions.
“Oh my god, Lando, It’s you!”
A chorus of ‘what’s’, and ‘huh’s’ course the room as Max leans over to give Lando an exhilarated slap on the back of the neck. Lando’s eyes are wide as he leans forward in a wince. Though, wether he was wincing at Max’s sudden motion or the revelation he’d just been subjected to, he wasn’t sure. You? Liking him?!
“It was me who noticed!” His laugh boomed as he spoke. “I remember it because I thought it was funny at the time, and for a while after it I thought she might have liked you because it was so unlike her. But she kept denying ever liking anyone and then she showed up with that prick of a boyfriend after that and I just let it go. I always knew it was something!” Max’s voice went raspy as he spoke in a loud, joyful tone, he was no doubt excited at the news. He loved you and wanted to help you wherever he could. And though he would never say it out loud, watching Lando pine over you; the way he cared for you, the way he would defend you when the media had negative things to say; he did think Lando would be a good match for you.
Now, Lando on the other hand, Lando’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions as he struggled to conceptualize the bomb that had just been dropped over him. He had spent so long pining after you, thinking you saw him as nothing more than just a teammate or worse, just a friend. The idea of you possibly liking him back was a concept he had spent night dreaming of yet never did he think the day would actually come. He was so unconvinced of it ever happening he almost felt unprepared, unsure of what to do or how to act now. Yet, here it was. The room seemed to buzz with a newfound energy, the boys' playful teasing barely registering as he tried to wrap his head around the idea.
"Lando, you okay?" Carlos asked, his voice softer than usual, breaking through Lando's thoughts.
Lando blinked, looking up to see the concerned yet amused faces of his friends. "Yeah, just... processing."
“She likes you mate!” His best friend's words sounded unreal to him. You like him. You like him too. All this time trying to form something with you, not realizing what you already had.
Crashing that goddamn car may have been the best fucking thing that's ever happened to him.
If he’d known this would have been the outcome of DNFing he’d have sent his car straight into the track barrier years ago. Sacrificing pole position if he had to.
He truly thought nothing could have taken him away from this moment, not a single other thing could pull him back from his thoughts of you. Nothing except you. And the sound of his phone beeping with the tone of an incoming call really did pull him back to reality. Because it was you. You were calling!
The boys incessant chatter had immediately come to a halt as Lando shot up. “She’s calling!” His head turning left to right as he frantically looked around at the boys around him. “She’s calling, what do I do?”
Fewtrell’s voice couldn't have come through any clearer. “Answer you knob!”
And so he did. He analyzed the buttons and clicked the one that ended the call with Max and sent it straight over to you instead.
His heart stuttered as the line went silent, anticipation pulsing through every inch of his veins. The boys sat back in their seats, eagerly eavesdropping on a conversation that could potentially bring a whole new meaning to the word WAG. But Lando didn’t care, more so he didn’t notice, he truthfully had been so sucked in by the letters of your name he forgot the boys were even there.
What was he even supposed to say? You didn’t know what he knew, maybe he shouldn’t have answered. And yet he found his voice shakily as his teeth clasped his bottom lip.
“Hello?” His breath stuttered as he spoke, and the line sat silent for just a moment too long for Lando’s liking. Y/n? “Lando, you owe me so bad!”
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