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cramulus · 4 years

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Trance Dancing - The Rave

by Jason Keehn

(this essay was formerly posted at https://duversity.org/archives/rave.html, but it’s gone, so I’m saving it by copying it here)

Can trance-dancing save the planet

Can you imagine a crazier notion?

Thousands of bored youth pumping themselves up with drugs, going out to huge underground parties and dancing maniacally to electronic rhythms and psychedelic light-shows till dawn.

And this is supposed to help the world?

Shouldn't we be putting our time instead into ecological or political activism, or at least doing some kind of charity work? What about the serious spiritual disciplines that claim to offer the only true path to personal--and thereby social--transformation? What good does all our drug-taking and revelry do for the hundreds of millions of dispossessed, fucked over and starving around the world--not to mention all the untold species and eco-systems being destroyed?

Hard to answer. And yet some of us still have this inescapable feeling, maybe even faith, that what we are doing, confused, silly and commercialised as it often is, is at its core absolutely necessary. . . not just to us, but in the bigger picture, somehow. . .

Why is it that at the peak moments (admittedly rare) of the very best underground house/techno/rave parties, we get this miraculous sense of hope, of possibility, of transformation . . . a feeling that we're actually heading somewhere. . . together. . . towards a brighter future, one worth living in, one where we've returned to some kind of harmony with ourselves, with each other and with our planet as a whole?

Is it "just the drugs," a kind of consensus delusion, or might there be some basis in reality for these feelings, hard to justify as they may seem once we're back out in the normal world?

More dimly sensed than clearly expressed, the feeling for such a possibility permeates the entire global underground dance scene. Thousands of promoters exploit it to inflate their party invites with cheesy techno-spiritual imagery. It inspires and guides much of the music, and some small but key fraction of the hard-core partiers. The rest of the crowds who fill the floors at parties get off on it as a second or third-hand charge that sets the party apart from being just another club, without ever thinking about taking it seriously.

At moments, some hundreds, and maybe even thousands or tens of thousands, of "ravers" have probably found themselves sensing/feeling/wondering that what they were doing might be something really big, something that could really change things at a larger scale.

But of course only people who turn themselves inside out with large amounts of drugs would even conceive the question: Can trance-dancing save the planet?

A few of us, myself included, have made public fools of ourselves already by answering in the affirmative, and even giving some tentative reasons why. Here I want to try to introduce a new way of thinking that complements and deepens what already been proposed by people like Fraser Clarke and Terence McKenna. They see psychedelicized mass trance dances as the only quick, viable antidote to the egotism at the base of the western, techno-industrial mega-machine maniacally chomping away at the life-fabric of the planet.

This different line of thought is based on a simple but profound idea first expressed by the philosopher and teacher of temple dances G. I. Gurdjieff, who died in 1949. His idea is almost completely unknown, outside of his hard to read book All and Everything.

If true, it has staggering implications for ourselves, for our planet, even for our entire solar system. I don't expect anybody to automatically take it as Goddess's given truth, but its worthy of some serious attention.

Energies

As all "ravers" know, there is a mysterious something that makes a rave different from just another club or party-scene. We call this "the vibe"--a mixture of intangibles impossible to find anywhere else, except maybe at a dead show or a rainbow gathering. Roughly put, the vibe consists of: an attitude of openness, sharing, empathy and playfulness; intense, unselfconscious dancing; a collective altered state of consciousness, thanks to the combined effects of specific rhythms, lights and psychedelic drugs; and, at its height, a melding of group feeling and energy into an ecstatic, orgasmic release that feels nothing less than spiritual or religious--albeit in a form that has little resemblance to any type of spirituality or religion we are familiar with.

We all know that "energy" is somehow key to all of this. We know we raise and release energy through our dancing, our feelings, and our interaction on the dance-floor. Energy was one of the main buzzwords of the early English rave scene. The vibe is all about energy--vibration, after all.

But what is this energy? What does it consist of, where does it come from, where does it go? Are there different kinds of energies? Do they have different purposes?

Back around the turn of the century, Gurdjieff and a group of friends travelled back and forth across the Middle East and Central Asia investigating humanity's true history, the nature of the cosmos, and the possibilities for humans to evolve consciously, from their own efforts. In the process, "the seekers of truth," as the group called themselves, also encountered the Masters of Wisdom still alive in that part of the world (the Khwajagan). The Khwajagan were considered to be the bearers of some of the highest spiritual knowledge on the planet, handed down continuously for thousands of years.

One of the focuses of Gurdjieff's research was the transformation of substances and energies--both chemical and subtle--in the human organism. He also learned a large number of temple dances, which he understood as databases in movement intended to preserve ancient knowledge.

Eventually, Gurdjieff returned to the West and presented his synthesis of these searches as a "system of ideas" and a practical method for self-transformation.

Feeding the Moon

Gurdjieff's quest was guided by the basic question, "what is the sense and significance of human life on earth?"

His conclusion, expressed in writing only towards the end of his life, was that humanity does not exist for itself, but to supply the planet, the moon, and the solar system with a particular gradation of energy which they need to thrive and grow. At times he called this principle, "feeding the Moon," though it is not clear whether he meant this literally or merely as a handy symbol.

He believed that the entire universe is in some sense alive and in a process of continuously evolving (and if not evolving, actively devolving). In what could be compared to a cosmic fractal, the universe is in a process of unfolding and giving birth to itself, each birth at a new level mirroring in its unique way that of other levels (known nowadays as the principle of self-similarity). In what Gurdjieff called "the ray of creation," "God" or the Absolute gives birth to universes; universes give birth to stars, which give birth to planets, which give birth to organic life (viruses, bacteria, plants and animals) and to moons. Eventually a planet may become a star, its moon may become a planet in its turn, and "give birth" to its own moon, and so on, ad infinitum.

Just as all plants and animals need a variety of nutrients to exist, grow and reproduce, so our world and its siblings need a very specialised type of substance to fuel their processes--their planetary metabolisms, if you will. Supposedly, this special energetic substance can be produced only by human beings.

Reciprocal Maintenance

Gurdjieff's answer fits into what he called "the doctrine of reciprocal maintenance", the idea that every thing exists only insofar as it supports or "feeds" something else. Everything is part of a vast, interconnected and mutually reinforcing web of life. Or, "everything is something else's lunch," as ecologists like to say. This idea anticipated the science of ecology by at least half a century.

Examples: Bees don't just exist for themselves, they live to pollinate flowers. Algae exists to turn sunlight into more complex molecules, and feed other small creatures, such as plankton and krill. Krill feeds other slightly larger creatures, and even whales. Plants exist to turn sunlight and raw matter into organic compounds, and to feed animals. Worms exist to loosen soil for plants. Bacteria recycle waste into useable raw matter. Predators help to increase the strength and fitness of the herds they prey on by eliminating the weak and sick. Etc. etc.

In the scheme of things, humanity's essential role is that of a transformer of energy.

Human beings, according to this view, exist to serve the cosmic evolutionary process--and not the opposite, as the Bible would have it: that all of creation is merely a resource for us to use and abuse as we see fit.

Our possibilities as human beings are dependent on the degree to which we fulfil this function, a kind of "obligation" which nature imposes on us.

By Gurdjieff's view, this special energy could be produced two different ways: either involuntarily, at the moment of death, when a small "packet" is released into the atmosphere, or voluntarily, in greater or lesser amounts, through spiritual work.

Since Mother Nature, or Gaia, needs a definite quota of this energy from us, she will do whatever is necessary to make sure she gets it. If we don't provide the required intensities while alive, the total number of deaths will have to be increased in such a proportion as to yield the needed amount.

Devolution

Gurdjieff further believed that rather than progressing, the overall quality of human being (as opposed to externalizations like technology, culture, institutions, etc.) has actually been deteriorating over the last umpteen thousands of years, especially in "civilised" societies such as our own. He believed that in the very distant past, before the earliest recorded history, human beings had a much greater presence and power; in a sense, they were bigger, spiritually and existentially, than the vast majority of us today. He also believed that people once had a much greater life-span.

They were energy-pumps.

Gurdjieff had his speculations about what caused this decline in the quality of human being in the very remote past, perhaps even before the destruction of Atlantis (his theory of the "kundabuffer," explored at length in All and Everything). The upshot, though, is that humanity as a whole has "forgotten" how to perform its ecological function in the world--or simply no longer has the necessary juice to do it, which pretty much amounts to the same thing.

So if this is in fact the case--that we human beings generally no longer have the knowledge or ability to "pump" this energy intentionally--Gaia will be forced to increase the total quantity of human death to meet her needs.

This can be accomplished, of course, by 1) increasing the number of human births, and eventually deaths, and 2) by shortening the life-span of existing individuals, or 3) a combination of the two. The net results: Population increase. . . disease, and war.

Following this line of thinking, our increasing inability to properly transform and pump energy means that we have to be treated (by the Gaian mind, if you like) the same way we treat plants and animals, as something to be farmed, bred and harvested. Not a very dignified state of affairs!

So as the qualitative level of human being goes down, the number of human beings, and thereby of human deaths, goes up to account for the difference in energy. And of course, since organisms grow at different rates, with different energy requirements depending on their activities, we can imagine that there might be major fluctuations in the needs for our energies.

The Terror of the Situation

This suggests a radical, and terrifying, view of contemporary history: that the population explosion, famines, plagues, wars and massacres might not be due just to accidental or sociological and political causes but may be induced by the needs of the solar "eco-system" as a whole, with human beings acting for the most part unwittingly to effectuate these needs.

Think about all the horror and insanity that has gone done in the twentieth century, even just in terms of cold numbers: millions killed in World War One, hundreds of thousands wiped out in seconds at Hiroshima and Nagasake alone, millions massacred one way or another in the Nazi concentration camps; supposedly as many as twenty million Russians dying in combat in World War Two, not to mention another twenty million who died in the same period as a result of Stalinist persecution and forced famine. Millions died in the Chinese civil war, six or seven million in Cambodia under Pol Pot. Don't even bother counting all the famines in Africa and South East Asia over the last few decades.

Why the incredible surge of violent death all over the world, paralleled by an equally incredible population explosion? What is up with those peculiar humanoid beings living on the surface of Sol-III?

I'm not going to try to argue the merits of this scheme against other theories. Just chew on it for a while and see how it fits.

And so the picture painted is one of a race of hapless, deluded slaves to some kind of a cosmic food-chain the existence of which we don't even recognise. This is definitely insulting to all our best images of ourselves. But then how do we reconcile all our great assets, our supposed free will, intelligence, and creativity with the dismal facts of what we've done to each other for all of recorded history?

Are we really anything more than automatons most of the time?

Gurdjieff had what might seem to many a horribly bleak, cynical view:

that our ideas of free-will and individuality are a delusion, an image of our potential mistaken for a general fact of our existence. Bluntly put, we are blind products of genetics, conditioning and external influence; on an energetic level, we are next to nothing. We are less, in that sense, than most mammals even.

We have become experts at consuming energy and resources, parasites.

As a civilisation, we no longer transform energy into higher gradients and radiate it back out to the world, we just circulate like little ants in our vast urban hives and manufacture stuff, endless quantities of stuff. We know how to suck energy, make objects, and how to kill. Even if we're not killing each other off at a given moment, we're decimating untold numbers of living beings without even being grateful for their existence.

Sure, for the most part we don't feel ourselves that way, but anybody who's tripped a few times in public places probably had disturbing glimpses--at least--along these lines. We don't see other people--or ourselves--that way, because it's just too hard a vision to live with.

The path of return

This perspective provides a definite way of understanding the connection between our amazingly fucked up global situation and "spirituality"--or the lack thereof. Seen this way, spirituality has less to do with living according to some moral doctrine, or accumulating "spiritual" experiences and states, than with being able to transform and radiate energy of a particular quality.

If it is true that we have been suffering a generalised decline over millennia, all our human institutions must participate in and reflect that decline. So everything we associate with religion, in all its multifarious forms, would generally be a product and mirror of a messed up situation; in other words, just another part of the problem.

At its best, the spiritual component of religious traditions points to a return to what should be our natural base-line of being, something so distant we can barely remember or taste it except at moments of "peak experience," or with the help of psychedelic drugs, or as a result of long, intensive discipline.

Our so-called "salvation" is really more a matter of somehow pulling ourselves back up out of a dysfunctional, disenabled, alienated state to something like a natural way of being--not transcendence or cosmic consciousness or union with God or whatever. We need to re-learn "how to be and to do."

According to Gurdjieff, the two key principles to following this "path of return," were intentional suffering and conscious labour. Through engaging in intentional sufferings and conscious labours we begin again to release the kinds of energies we were intended to give off.

Of course by today's standards, this sounds like a bummer of a philosophy. Isn't life just supposed to be full of fun and games? On the other hand, if we're realistic we know that there's always going to be pain, struggle, suffering in life. If there weren't where would the joy and pleasure and flow be? So maybe rather than seek to escape suffering, or just submit to it blindly, it might make sense to choose your form of suffering and make something out of it.

Intentional suffering. Again, if it's true that we exist in a chronic low-energy state, one of inertia and stasis, it makes sense that in order to get back to a point of being able to consciously transform energy we would need to somehow exercise an enormous effort just to break out of our passivity. "Only super-efforts count." If you're physically weak from illness, it usually takes an extra effort to get to the point of being able to exercise on a regular basis, to return to your previous level of strength. Or as they say, no pain no gain.

This can apply on a lot of levels other than just the physical. Pain can take the form of a kind of moral or spiritual suffering deriving from, say, breaking habits, or confronting bad traits in one's character, or doing exactly that which you least like to do. Suffering in the form of sacrifice is necessary to be there for others, to truly love.

Conscious labour assumes that most of the "work" we do, of whatever nature, is not really conscious to begin with. We are driven by culturally programmed priorities, survival, automatic emotional needs, obsession, neurosis, ego. To work consciously assumes that one must first have become aware of how unconscious one is most of the time, of how automatic most of how our thoughts, feelings, perceptions and actions really are.

To even get to this point itself requires a lot of intentional suffering, because what could make us suffer more than waking up to how we really don't "own" ourselves?

Forms of work

This general process is what people who study Gurdjieff's ideas and methods generally call "work-on-oneself," or just "self-work."

No doubt for many orthodox "Gurdjieffians," this path of return can only occur in the framework of decades of commitment to the "work," in the manner it has been passed down to them.

Much of Gurdjieff's practical teaching consisted of dancing and physical exercises used in combination with meditation and concentration techniques. Some of the dances Gurdjieff himself invented, many were direct copies of the ancient temple dances he found during his travels. (These dances are a closely held secret of existing Gurdjieff groups, and rarely if ever performed in public.)

Other important components of his method were the techniques of "self-observation" and "self-remembering," designed to bring "essence" back into balance with "personality."

What is little known to the world at large, and almost completely suppressed within existing Gurdjieff groups, is that Gurdjieff was interested in and worked with drugs. The references to "active substances" other than alcohol, opium and cocaine in his writings are rare, and even then oblique (he tried to set up a "chemical laboratory" in Russia at one point--for synthesising what?); it is known, but little discussed, that Gurdjieff administered certain substances to some of his students.

The monks of the legendary Sarmoun Brotherhood, whom Gurdjieff spent time with, themselves cultivated and used a psychoactive plant they referred to as the "Herb of Enlightenment." Curiously, Oscar Ichazo, founder of Arica, a 70s psycho-spiritual organisation that also incorporated psychedelics and movement-work, claimed to have accessed the Sarmounis as well.*

Furthermore, we know from Gurdjieff himself that he considered his students "guinea pigs," his groups a laboratory in which he was conducting certain undefined experiments.

According to J. G. Bennett, one of his major students and better interpreters, Gurdjieff experimented continuously with his ideas, techniques and overall approach. While Gurdjieff always talked about his system, it was never fixed in a way that most of his followers seem to believe and dogmatically transmit it to others.

If everything Gurdjieff did was a kind of living laboratory, how does anybody know what were really the goals and working hypotheses and what was just part of the experiment? What if he kept certain pieces of his puzzle secret, knowing perhaps they were too explosive to make public at the time?

The new trance dance

Here is a radically new take on Gurdjieff's philosophy and mission, one that has a direct bearing on our neo-psychedelic-rave subculture:

Is it possible that trance-dancing is one of the most basic forms of intentional suffering and conscious labour?

Is it possible that such dancing, performed by the right people in the right way with the right intentions, is capable of producing exactly that same energy Gurdjieff believed Mother Nature needs from us? Could it be that the use of psychedelics in conjunction with intensive dancing to certain specific rhythms, by a new breed of individuals, may be a way to fill our cosmic obligation without the life-long spiritual training otherwise required?

My intuition is that this is indeed the case--unlikely as it may seem to all the "old school" esotericists and spiritualists.

Perhaps, in fact, we are not really now at the point of being able to do this--being "youthful" as we are, and prone to all the naiveté and follies of youth. But this may be what a certain number of us are instinctively moving toward. Maybe this is just that mysterious something we cross over into as we're peaking and pulsing together on the dance-floor.

Think about tribal trance dances. What better description could you think of for endurance dancing to the point of fainting in the service of the gods than intentional suffering and conscious labour?

Under different names, tribal peoples seem to commonly believe that their dances are essential to the gods, a form of offering, sacrifice, or service. Something necessary to keep the balance, to keep the rain falling, to keep the sun coming up, to keep things moving. That's why they're sacred dances. And so maybe it's not just the form of the dance that's sacred, or even what the dancers experience, it's in what they do: the energy they collectively release.

Isn't it odd that just when most of the cultures that still do this are either being destroyed or forgetting their own traditions, just at that same moment a whole tribalistic, "neo-shamanic" dance craze develops among western youth?

Consider: How does someone behave who has a deep instinct, but in whom that instinct has been muffled by hundreds or thousands of years of habitual suppression and invalidation? Perhaps every now and then the instinct manifests itself in a crude, awkward outburst, only to be quickly silenced by the embarrassed ego and the lack of any proper name or place for it in surrounding society.

In some of Bennett's writings on this whole theme, there is a tendency to paint the "feeding the Moon" scenario in extremes: either one is energetically inert and useless; or else one sacrifices one's life to spiritual work and helps to make up for everyone else's lack.

But must it be such a dichotomy? Maybe that's how it tends to be nowadays, but maybe it wasn't always if people used to "be more" than they are today. Maybe once upon a time (and still in some remaining aboriginal cultures), you didn't have to be a spiritual athlete, a specialist (monk, shaman, priest/priestess, etc.), to return your two or three "cents" to Nature.

Maybe even now, everyone can return some energy, given the right circumstances and maybe the right "assisting factors" too.

And what about the effect of psycho-active substances? If there is anything we know about psychedelics for sure, it is that they act as catalysts. They temporarily shift our system's mode of functioning, our rate of vibration, and enable transformations that are otherwise difficult to achieve--again passing. But what if that transformation, in tandem with the right kind of dancing and mindset, is just enough to enable the release of some special energy?

Does it matter that much whether we're in that state all the time, or just that we have regular access to it and can use it to do what we need to do?

Sure, we have no tradition of sacred dance, and few ravers dance till they drop, few dance with conscious devotional feeling or intent. What we do have, or at least aspire to, is a basic attitude that sets the tone when we come together for our celebrations: Peace-Love-Unity-Respect. Not bad for a point of departure.

And yet, just how conscious do you have to be of your intent if your instinct IS your intent? Maybe as we get high and move together our intent resurfaces into consciousness, and for those few sweet timeless moments we actually DO it, . . . and then we drift back down into consensus reality where there is no name for it, and the veils gradually cover it all up and soon we once again think we were there for nothing more than a good time and some cool music.

But the taste and scent of that ineffable "juice" still lingers, and it keeps us going in the days ahead, going back to more parties, wearing the clothes we associate with it, compulsively getting high and listening to mix tapes round the clock, searching for that rare synchronicity of time, place, people and music where it might magically happen again.

In some of his late writings, Bennett speculated that recent decades are seeing the birth of a new kind of person, maybe even a new race of sorts, with spiritual capacities different from the rest of society.

Could that be us?

And just what is that "juice," that energy, that special nutrient so needed for all things to live and grow in harmony? That erotic radiant mix of thankfulness, joy, and compassion that just wants to fuck the entire cosmos? Could it be . . . L-O-V-E?

OK, admittedly there are a lot of big ifs here. To try to prove that

a) human beings do give off energy when they die;

b) that some can give off an equivalent kind of energy intentionally while still alive;

c) that most of us don't or can't do this anymore;

d) that people could once upon a time do it better;

e) that the planet or the moon or the solar system requires this energy;

f) that if they don't get it human birth and death will automatically be increased with no say on our side;

g) that this energy can be produced through trance dancing among tribal peoples; and

h) that this energy can also be produced by teenagers dancing at parties with the help of drugs. . .

To try to prove, or even argue, all of that would be at least another article in itself. . . or more realistically, the basis for a life-time of research.

#gurdjieff #rave #dance #sacred movements

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bad-draft-stuff · 4 years

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c. AU 4

spoopy slug

Arsé-kun: --Sunday, October 24th-- Sheepy: Grif: Kay. Are you ready? We must find a Quest Item for Grandpa so he can commit insecticide. Arsé-kun: *Kay stops to give Grif a very flat look. No. No, he is not ready yet.* Sheepy: Grif: Great. Me too. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... No. Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: I see. You're very slow. Arsé-kun: Kay: I've been up. Ten minutes. Sheepy: Grif: Hm. I've been up longer. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool. Don't care. Sheepy: Grif: You should. Worms are important to the environment. Could you replace worms? Arsé-kun: Kay: What??? Sheepy: Grif: i see. You are unaware. Sheepy: Grif: The early man obtains the worm. Do you fear it, Kay? Is that why you insist on being late? We must obtain the worm. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... It's the early BIRD, not man. Same idea, not how it goes. Sheepy: Grif: I am no bird. Arsé-kun: Kay: We already established that. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, and yet you call me one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not what I said, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: I'm confused. Arsé-kun: Kay: You said the saying wrong. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure fuckin' hope so. Sheepy: Grif: You wish for my prolonged vision... Sheepy: Grif: You are kind. Arsé-kun: Kay: bah, humbug. Sheepy: Grif: I will try my hardest, but I have lost it before, so I cannot guarantee anything. Sheepy: Grif: However, if I lose it once again, I will not let you see my injuries. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good, don't wanna. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Let me go change my shirt and we can go, aight? Sheepy: Grif: I will wait here patiently. Arsé-kun: *Kay exits scene. Kay returns to the scene a few minutes later, now ready to leave and brushing questionable fur off his shirt* Arsé-kun: Kay: I threw the costume shirt on, whatever. Halloween week n' all. I'll wear the rest later on, I don't care enough. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know what that is. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... The costumes we got. I am using part of it as a normal shirt. Sheepy: Grif: I am wearing sad man shirt. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Sure, close enough. Sheepy: Grif: He is green from sadness. Sheepy: Grif: However, I feel joy at the concept of going out with you. Sheepy: Grif: So perhaps sad man shirt is unfitting. Sheepy: Grif: Next time, I will wear orb shirt. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh. Okay. Sheepy: Grif: Have you seen it? Sheepy: Grif: He's an orb like Dad, but has a face. Such is the invention of humankind. Sheepy: Grif: Dad sometimes buys clothing for me, but it often doesn't fit right and has text I cannot read. However, if he were to visit, I would feel obligated to wear it, uncomfortable as it is... Sheepy: Grif:...Ah, right, going out. Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Should we go now? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I guess. Sheepy: *Grif starts dragging Kay to the store.* Sheepy: Grif: We arrive. *he proceeds to walk in...to glass door!* Arsé-kun: Kay: You're sure you aren't a bird? *he opens the door* Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: Amazing...! Arsé-kun: Kay: It has a handle for a reason, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif:...Where else do they have such things...? Perhaps see through walls are all over...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... It's glass. And yes. Yes it is. Arsé-kun: Kay: The fuck you think windows are made of? Arsé-kun: Kay: Now stop being an idiot in public. Sheepy: Grif:...Windows are made of wall... I see... Sheepy: *Grif walks into the other glass door.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... You are exceptionally difficult. Were you always this stupid? Sheepy: Grif: I dislike this place. Let's go home. Quest failed. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, you're just an idiot. It's not completely see through. Stop acting like it is. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: *he pulls the second door open, and pushes Grif in* Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: I see... We're in. Sheepy: Grif: *He doesn't seem willing to move from his spot.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... You are the worst. Come on, dipshit. Arsé-kun: *Kay hooks his arm around Grif's and just starts walking away. Lets Fucking Go* Sheepy: Grif: I see. I have heard of this before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, you've already maxed my tolerance meter. Don't talk. Sheepy: Grif: Date. Definition: Romantic outing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Who the fuck would go on a date to the fucking lovmart? You absolute cosmic imbecile. Sheepy: Grif: Lovmart... Sheepy: Grif: But it contains love in it. Arsé-kun: *After a bit, a quest gets updated. An old one. [My Wal-Heart is Yours!] has updated! "Make a purchase without incident"* Arsé-kun: Kay: That's the fucking name, don't ask me. Arsé-kun: *eventually they get to the right aisle. Kay doesn't bother looking over all the options, he just grabs the most decent looking one and calls it a day* Sheepy: Grif: You're very good at locating things. I suppose that would make you a lo-Kay-tor. Sheepy: Grif:.... Hah. Hah. Hah. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'd laugh if I was in a good mood. I'm not. Sheepy: Grif: I'm in a good mood. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You are in a bad mood. Bedi told me that smiling can make others happy. Sheepy: Grif: Behold. *He gives Kay a bloodthirsty grin. His sharp teeth seem so much sharper now.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... You look like a cartoon shark trying to convince others that they don't eat fish. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Is it that bad? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Sorta. Maybe. Eh. Sheepy: Grif: I tried very hard... Arsé-kun: *Kay kinda just pats Grif's shoulder before looking off into the distance. thinkin about.... food* Sheepy: Grif: Maybe smiling is too hard right now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. ... Hey, you want food? I'm gonna buy food. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank god. I was gonna fuckin' do it anyway. Sheepy: Grif: What are you getting? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... .... I didn't get that far. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know... Man, I shoulda ate before we came ouuuut.. Sheepy: Grif: Now we can eat together. Sheepy: Grif: Many foods can be eaten for lunch. Sheepy: Grif: For example, you can take any food and if you put a bread on top and a bread on bottom, you get lunch. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, yeah... Arsé-kun: *they eventually buy food and leave. eventually. kay has already clocked out for the day and it's like 2 pm* Sheepy: Grif: I feel joy. Sheepy: Grif: However... I feel a great fear of the possibility of being trapped in the store for forever. Sheepy: Grif: Therefore, I will never go alone. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's on purpose. The longer you stay, the more likely you are to buy. So it's a hellmaze. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: How cunning...! Sheepy: Grif: I know of a solution. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is it yarn? Sheepy: Grif: Destroy every wall in front of you until you find the exit. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Sheepy: Grif: It will work. Sheepy: Grif: Paths never work. Here is why. Sheepy: Grif: If you put out a path, it will be eaten. For example, a path of bread will be eaten by birds. Sheepy: Grif: And yet, the gingerbread house they lead up to is untouched by birds. How unrealistic. Birds would go for that first. Arsé-kun: Kay: One, you don't eat yarn. Two, who would touch a house that an evil witch lives in? Sheepy: Grif: A bird. Birds are oblivious to the concepts of good and evil. They do not exist within the culture of birds. Arsé-kun: Kay: Birds do understand the concept of danger, though. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... but if it rained, the house would be soggy and moldy. This story is inaccurate. If I were a witch, I would live in a nice cabin. Arsé-kun: Yog: What in the nine realms are you two discussing?? *thanks Paimon for ur input* And your phone rang several times. Sheepy: Grif: We're discussing the flaws of the Little Mermaid. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's Hansel and Gretel, not the Little Mermaid!! *but he does stop to check his phone, nearly dropping it in the process. fun egg* Arsé-kun: Kay: ?! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I was wondering where the mermaid was. Sheepy: Grif: I wonder who it is. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not in that story. Also, Lot says he invited you to the chick hunt. No idea why, since you don't hunt chicks or women. Sheepy: Grif: Lot... invited me...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Apparently. Lets go find them making embarrassments out of themselves. Sheepy: Grif: I made a good impression last night...! Amazing! I wish to join this "chick hunt"! We will eat chicken tonight!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't gotta do with that either, but I'll consider cooking. Sheepy: Grif: You'll cook? I want to learn from you. Sheepy: Grif: But first, chicks!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You got a leak in your memory? I answered that already. Sheepy: Grif: I see. You, too, are excited. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, let's go. Sheepy: Grif: We can't stand them up. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can because I wasn't invited. You can't. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I see. Where do I go, then? Arsé-kun: Kay: I have no idea. Even if we go where he told me, there's a chance they've already moved. Sheepy: Grif:....I must hunt Lot to hunt chicks... Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe people will like you more if you smile! You're so stiff. Sheepy: Agravain: I couldn't care less about making others like me. I'm perfectly happy to make you a stiff as well. Arsé-kun: Kay: What? You're making stiffs? It better be stiff drinks or I'm coming over there. Sheepy: Agravain: No, the kind you put six feet under. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, don't you think he should smile? Or at least use some skin care products? Arsé-kun: Kay: I've seen him smile. It made me think a puppy was about to be kicked. Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe that's the first step to making friends. Sheepy: Grif: He kicks puppies? Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but you'd think he does Sheepy: Grif: H Arsé-kun: Lot: No, he does not, and hello! I see you found us despite my bad directions. Sheepy: Grif: They aren't bad. They simply don't exist. Arsé-kun: Kay: He did give me directions. I ignored them and found Gawain anyway. Sheepy: Agravain: He's so loud you could locate him regardless of where he was. Sheepy: Gawain: I'd rather see it as me being so bright and shiny that you could find me no matter what, just like the sun. Arsé-kun: Kay: Get this bitch some clouds. Sheepy: Grif: I will always find you, no matter how far you run, no matter how well you hide. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, you're screwed now. Sheepy: Gawain: How does he take one comment and make it so scary? Arsé-kun: Kay: Talent. Arsé-kun: Kay: High intimidation stat. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not being a pussy ass bitch. Sheepy: Grif: Why do we hunt chicks? If we let them grow they will lay eggs. Sheepy: Grif: Then they're chickens. Sheepy: Gawain: I feel like you intentionally forgot the actual meaning... Arsé-kun: Lot: Girls, Griflet. We're trying to work up the courage to talk to girls. Except Gawain, he's got the current top score. Sheepy: Grif: Do you fear girls? Arsé-kun: Kay: Women can be hella scary, especially when they gang up on you. Sheepy: Grif: I know very few women. Sheepy: Grif: I know your sister. Sheepy: Grif: That's the extent of my list. Arsé-kun: Lot: And we exclude family in the counting, so most of us are at single digits still. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Lot: The current problem is finding one even willing to just talk. Sheepy: Grif: It's not as though her hands are so heavy she cannot hold them herself. Arsé-kun: Lot: It is a gesture of affection for two people to hold hands. I certainly hope they do not have that issue. Sheepy: Grif: I knew that. Arsé-kun: Kay: M-hmmmm.. Sheepy: Grif: Kay did it earlier, so of course I do. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh-what?! No I did not!! *he is visibly flustered rather suddenly* I had your arm so you'd stop running into glass doors...! You fuck! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Tristan: Oh! To think...! Kay, what a suave move! To go in for the forbidden hand holding so soon! It moves me! Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't!! Why would I do that?! Sheepy: Grif: Wall doors... Arsé-kun: Kay: I've met dogs smarter than you. Sheepy: Gawain: Are you a bird or something? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what I said!! Sheepy: Grif: I don't like the store. I don't want to go back. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey! Speaking of birds, check out that chick! She isn't really my type but she's kinda cute, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're looking at who I THINK you're looking at... Sheepy: Gawain: Eh? Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, maybe she's more your type, Lot. Arsé-kun: Lot: Hmm. I don't think so. Sheepy: Gawain: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Grif, tell me not to punch him in the face. Sheepy: Grif: I am not your boss. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely unhelpful. Sheepy: Grif: You can punch anyone you put your fist onto. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're right. *and he promptly goes to sock Gawain in the shoulder* Sheepy: Gawain: Ow! Arsé-kun: Kay: Y'know how Aru's my sister? I got two. You're not allowed to treat my sisters like college whores! Sheepy: Gawain: Eh?! Two?! Sheepy: Gawain: Well, heck, she wasn't really my type anyway! Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Or my brother, but he's a pussyshit doormat bitch. Arsé-kun: Kay: Either way, de-fucking-nied! Sheepy: Gawain: Brother??? Sheepy: Artoria: --How dare you. You act as though I have no ears and talk about me as though I cannot hear you! Get on the ground and give me 50. Arsé-kun: Kay: You heard the woman! Sheepy: Gawain: What??? Sheepy: Gawain:...Would I seem more attractive if I did pushups, right here and now? Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Despite everything, he's still winning. Sheepy: Grif: She demands money and his height advantage. I see. Sheepy: *Gawain has begun doing pushups.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, cause she needs the help with that second one. Sheepy: Artoria: Bend down so I can get on your shoulders, since I apparently need more height. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah. Sheepy: Artoria: I don't need you to bend down, actually! If you turn around, I can just latch on! Arsé-kun: Kay: You're going to just be a little gremlin in public. I see. Arsé-kun: *Lance silently watching this from over There with the good table. He wants no part of it.* Sheepy: Artoria: Little...! I'm still growing!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You said that last year, too. Sheepy: Artoria: I'm working on it. It's a long term project! Sheepy: Gawain: Did you two both completely forget about me...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Aw, shit, he's still here! Sheepy: Grif: I was shorter too once. Sheepy: Grif: And then I grew taller. Sheepy: Grif: That is how you stop being short. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Anyway, Artoria, considering that Gawain's winning this "chick hunt", from "Doomed" to "Dumpster Fire", how do you predict the rest of this will go? My money is on "Christmas Goat Fire" Sheepy: Artoria: *she gives Grif a blank expression, her stern look completely dissipating. How does she respond to that?* ....Uh, right, how is this man winning anything? Sheepy: Tristan: Perhaps they feel as though they're getting a discount by getting his services for free. Arsé-kun: Lot: It helps hes a jock. Sheepy: Tristan: Jocks get everything in life... Love, money, concussions... Arsé-kun: Kay: More fucking concussions, Sheepy: Gawain: I'd rather more money and less concussions! Arsé-kun: Kay: Any more and you'll start sounding like Grif! That is a threat! Sheepy: Grif: What is a concussion? Sheepy: Grif: It sounds tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: My point has been made! I settle my case, your honor. Sheepy: Gawain: I'll start saying stupid things? Sheepy: Gawain: That's a scary threat... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh, yeah, maybe that already happened. Sheepy: Grif: Concussion... Concussion... Paimon, define concussion. Sheepy: Gawain: There's no way this guy hasn't had one before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, no doubt. Sheepy: Grif: ? Did I like it? Arsé-kun: Yog: Noun. Temporary unconsciousness or confusion caused by a blow on the head. Symptoms may include headache, confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, and excessive fatigue. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: If someone hit me in the head I would simply say no and punch them. Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe you'd be well suited for football. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not. Sheepy: Artoria: I know a professor who would like him at least. Sheepy: Grif: Football... Sheepy: Gawain: You take a ball and bring it to the other side. Sheepy: Grif: I would never waste my time on such a task. You can do it. Sheepy: Gawain: It's not a waste of time. It's fun. Sheepy: Artoria: Until you irreparably injure yourself. Arsé-kun: Lot: Don't bother. We've said the same thing. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, her friend is pretty hot. And she's tall! Precisely your type, Lot! Arsé-kun: Lot: Why are you like this? And wher--- *he spots exactly who Gawain is referring to. oh no. Oh No.* Sheepy: Gawain: See? Your type! Go on, go on! Arsé-kun: Lot: Uh.... I don't know about this.. Sheepy: Tristan: I am imagining beauty in my mind... Sheepy: Tristan: Ah, but it's just a mirror. Arsé-kun: Lot: I don't know, Gawain, she looks like the type that could kick my ass. Sheepy: Gawain: Make your brother talk to her. She can't beat him up. And then when she's angry, swoop in and save the day. Sheepy: Artoria: You're really awful, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not doing that! Sheepy: Gawain: Then just go and talk to her. Arsé-kun: Lot: Okay, fine! C'mon, Tristan, you're my moral support. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes! The time has come...! Sheepy: Tristan: Let us go! Arsé-kun: Lot: Why are you so excited all of a sudden...? Sheepy: Tristan: To be a wingman for my closest companion fills my body with excitement. Arsé-kun: Lot: *he just sighs and sets off* Sheepy: *Guin is trying to convince Satoru to get off of the ground. It's not working very well.* Arsé-kun: Lot: ... What's going on over here? *focusing his attention on Satoru mostly* Sheepy: Guin: He's decided he's an ant. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm an ant. Arsé-kun: Lot: What a big ant you are. Sheepy: Satoru: No. You're just small. Arsé-kun: Lot: Touché. Sheepy: Guin: Did you need something, or were you just concerned? This is normal. Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not gonna lie, one of my friends insisted I come talk to you, but him being on the ground was more concerning. Arsé-kun: Lot: I appreciate it, but I'd prefer not to. Sheepy: Guin: Talk to me? Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Mozzy would be an ant. I should ask him instead. Sheepy: Guin: What did you need to talk to me about? Arsé-kun: Lot: ... *he sighs* Our jock friend has invoked the operation to flirt with girls and hasn't realized he's the only willing participant. Please pardon me. Sheepy: Tristan: *snore* ... ... hm? ... Hah! I was not sleeping. Worry not, he is a very kind and loving boyfriend. Sheepy: Guin: And so he made you come over and talk to me? Arsé-kun: Lot: Yes. Sheepy: Guin: Well, you can tell him I'm not interested in dating anyone unless they're both a good person and can beat me in a fight. Arsé-kun: Lot: I'll do that. If he approaches, go easy on him- I don't want to bring him to the hospital. Sheepy: Guin: I'll try. Arsé-kun: Lot: Thank you. Come along, Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: We're leaving? I see... I did not wingman well enough... How sad, how sad! Sheepy: Satoru: Some ants have wings. They often shed them. If you could have wings just briefly only to shed them when you reached your destination, would you do it, knowing return may be difficult? Arsé-kun: Lot: Hmm? No, I don't think I would. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *Lot goes back to Gawain eventually* Arsé-kun: Lot: She wants to throw down for the right to date. I am not taking that kind of risk. Sheepy: Gawain: What? Really? Sheepy: Gawain: Maybe...I've got a chance? Sheepy: Artoria: No, I don't think you do. Sheepy: Tristan: I am distressingly bad at being a wingman... Arsé-kun: Lot: It's okay, you tried. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go try, Gawain. I wanna watch you get your ass kicked. Sheepy: Gawain: What's the worst that could happen? Sheepy: Tristan: She's looking for a good person. I suppose you could qualify, but I have my doubts... Sheepy: Gawain: It can't hurt to try! *he starts heading over* Sheepy: Grif: When I go to beat people up in public, I'm told it's "bad" and will "scare people". But when Gawain does it, it's "flirting". Sheepy: Grif: I see. I don't want to be seen as flirting. I can't do it anymore. Arsé-kun: Kay: No. Gawain's an idiot and taking a challenge. You beat people up for other reasons, like being a fucklord. Sheepy: Grif: I like to beat up my uncle. Arsé-kun: Kay: Valid. Sheepy: *In thr background, Gawain was on his feet. Now he's in the air. Now he's on the ground.* Arsé-kun: *Poor Gawain. He continues to have a permanent home under the bus he was once thrown under* Sheepy: Artoria: You're enabling him to attack people, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, his uncle is a cunt. Sheepy: Grif: He torments students for fun. I must protect the students. Arsé-kun: *Lance, still hanging out in the background, only saw Gawain get yeeted and genuinely has no idea what the fuck is happening.* Sheepy: *Guin seems satisfied at least.* Arsé-kun: *Lance wisely decides to make sure Gawain didn't get yet another concussion somehow* Sheepy: Guin: Did he drag you into this too? Arsé-kun: Lance: He is the reason I am here, yes, but I was not participating. Gawain, are you okay? Sheepy: Gawain: Ouch... Arsé-kun: Lance: Do I need to fend her off for you? Sheepy: Guin: Oh, you want to face me, too? *she, oddly enough, actually seems excited!* Arsé-kun: Lance: Here? Now...? We're in public.. Sheepy: Guin: We can wait until we're not in public. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... Then certainly. Sheepy: Gawain: Weren't you electrocuted just yesterday? Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm not going to get tazed. Sheepy: Guin: Are you still hurt? Arsé-kun: Lance: Unfortunately. I was hoping it would fail to be brought up. Sheepy: Guin: I can't fight you yet. Arsé-kun: Lance: I apologize, we'll have to postpone. Sheepy: Guin: I'm willing to wait. I'm Guinevere, by the way. Sheepy: Satoru: And I'm an ant. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm Lance- ? ?? *notice child* Sheepy: Guin: I'm babysitting him. Sheepy: Guin: He won't be there when we fight. Don't worry. Arsé-kun: Lance: I would hope not. He doesn't need to see that kinda thing. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Gawain, you are you sure that you're okay? Sheepy: Gawain: I've been knocked down worse in football. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... If you say so. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, it's not like I hit my head. Arsé-kun: Lance: If you did, you would probably die. Sheepy: Gawain: I doubt that! Sheepy: Satoru: If I played football I would die. Arsé-kun: Lance: Me too. Sheepy: Guin: Most people would. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Wow, I'm even losing to the gun nut this time around and I wasn't even invited. Sheepy: Satoru: Guns? I've seen them before. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon. Define gun. Arsé-kun: Yog: ....... Arsé-kun: Yog: Noun. A weapon incorporating a metal tube from which bullets, shells, or other missiles are propelled by explosive force, typically making a characteristic loud, sharp noise. Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Yog: In other words, the thing the gym teacher carries. Sheepy: Grif: The loud pellet machine is a gun. Arsé-kun: Yog: Correct. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like it. It's loud. Arsé-kun: Kay: The gym teach can shove it up his ass. He's already a massive douche. Sheepy: Grif: Can the pellets hurt you? Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: If Dad visited, would he get hurt? Arsé-kun: Yog: That would depend on the gun. Sheepy: Grif: I need to destroy guns to protect Dad. Arsé-kun: Yog: You can't. They are self-defense devices. Or are supposed to be. Sheepy: Grif: So Dad is unsafe? Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Most handheld guns such as pistols and revolvers would be unable to do significant damage. I'm going to go play Doom now. The original. Sheepy: Grif: DOOM: Game. Noise guns make. What I inflict on my enemies. Arsé-kun: Yog: *a bit quieter* Grif, please. Sheepy: Grif: ...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, enough out of the peanut gallery. Sheepy: Grif: Uh, okay. Sheepy: Satoru: Despite their name, peanuts are not nuts, but rather legumes. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, that'd be a cool fact for me to share with a girl. Girls usually look for brains! Arsé-kun: Kay: You have those? Brains? They're not splattered along the inside of your skull? Sheepy: Gawain: Sometimes I wonder, with how bad my headaches can get, if it's worth keeping it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Get a new one. Sheepy: Gawain: Who do you think I am, the Frankenstein monster? Sheepy: Grif: You're able bodied enough that I'm sure Glaaki would like to borrow you in exchange for removing the headaches. ... ... ... Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha. Sheepy: Gawain:.....? Arsé-kun: Yog: That is enough from the peanut gallery, as it is said. Thank you for your input. I may forward it. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Okay, I will not actually do that. That would be cruel. Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Yog: .... I lied, one final notice. Your grandfather is in range, so I will leave before that situation sets in. Arsé-kun: *[Quest: You Shant!] completed in advance!* Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa is here.... Sheepy: Grif: Kay, have you met my grandpa? Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna see Merlin get decked again. Sheepy: Grif: My uncle says I get my brains from my grandpa. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go deal with that. Shoo. Don't bring that shit over here. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: *Grif goes to talk to Aza* Arsé-kun: *Aza is sitting on top of a fence, just kinda peoplewatching. How he doesn't have a spike up his ass is beyond me.* Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa, I've completed your quest. Arsé-kun: Aza: ? Sheepy: Grif: Bug spray. Arsé-kun: *Aza blankly stares at him for several moments before remembering* Arsé-kun: Aza: Yes, yes, for the Shan. Sheepy: Grif: I have it now. Sheepy: Grif: Do you still want it? Arsé-kun: Aza: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif gives Aza the bug spray* Sheepy: Grif: My friend bought it. He is very nice. Arsé-kun: *Quest officially completed for real. Xp gained. The status screen will update later.* Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Sheepy: Grif: I completed the quest. Sheepy: Grif: Do you have another quest before I go, Grandpa? Arsé-kun: Aza: ..... I need to give you something in return first, do I not? Sheepy: Grif: It’s up to you. Arsé-kun: Aza: Hmmm. Well, what would you like? Sheepy: Grif: ...apple. Arsé-kun: Aza: ... I have heard of this. The question now is "Am I correct?" Arsé-kun: Aza: .... I have decided. One of these is correct. You may have all of them. *he hands Grif three things from... From who knows where. A very dusty phone, a pineapple, and an actual apple (but something is definitely wrong with it).* Sheepy: Grif: Uh... thank you. Sheepy: Grif: This apple reminds me of a chestnut. Arsé-kun: Aza: A chest nut? Sheepy: Grif: It's a nut covered in spikes. Sheepy: Grif: I ate one before and got sick. Arsé-kun: Aza: I will be wary of this chess nut. Sheepy: Grif: You must. I got very sick. Sheepy: Grif: Artichokes are dangerous too. Arsé-kun: Aza: They must be. The english word "Choke" is contained inside of "Artichoke". Sheepy: Grif: You're right... Arsé-kun: Kay: *distantly* Grif, you're stupid! Sheepy: Grif: Behold, my new friend. He is very nice. Arsé-kun: Aza: He sounds wonderful. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I like him a lot. Arsé-kun: Aza: Interesting. Arsé-kun: Aza: Enjoy your apple. I am going to, what is the word? Lure? Around for a little while longer, before I am forcefully removed from the plane. Sheepy: Grif: Lure... like a fish. Arsé-kun: Aza: ... No, that is not it. Arsé-kun: Aza: L... Lur... ... *he is struggling* Arsé-kun: Aza: Ya nnn-uh’e llll c-ult-agl r’luh, hai'ep ya fhtagn. (tl; i watch people at your place (in) secret, then i sleep) Sheepy: Grif: Sothoth nnn-uh’e fhtagn f’-agl, too (tl; santa watches people sleep in their place, too) Arsé-kun: Aza: ah. Sheepy: Grif: Ho ho ho. Arsé-kun: Kay: You sound like several raccoons fighting over a stale pizza! Sheepy: Grif: What is a raccoon? Arsé-kun: Aza: I know this. They are the ashy-void little creatures. They enjoy waste product. Sheepy: Grif: I want to touch one. Sheepy: Grif: We can spy on them from the darkness and sneak up on them as they go into the trash. Arsé-kun: Aza: It feels like a cat. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan should see it, too. He wants to be a cat to fit in with Fou. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, let's go pet raccoons. Sheepy: Grif: If you won't, I'm sure Merlin will. Arsé-kun: Kay: A raccoon isn't a fucking cat! Sheepy: Grif: Not a cat? But still soft? Sheepy: Grif: Like a dog? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... It's closer to a big, fat fucking squirrel. Sheepy: Grif: I know of this creature. Sheepy: Grif: It's like a rabbit but not at all. Sheepy: Grif: Truly, there's so much going on behind them. Arsé-kun: Aza: ..... what is a rabbit Sheepy: Grif: A vicious beast that can decapitate anyone foolish enough to approach it in a single blow. Arsé-kun: Aza: *implied blank stare* Sheepy: Grif: ...It's a joke, of course. Sheepy: Grif: They're... *he puts his fingers up by the side of his head* Sheepy: Grif: Like this. Sheepy: Grif: And they hop a lot. Sheepy: Grif: They're small and soft. Sheepy: Grif: And they have big teeth. Arsé-kun: *Whatever Aza is imaging, there is a 99% chance it is also wildly wrong* Sheepy: Grif: It's... it's... It goes, uh... ... it... it...? Sheepy: Grif: ...tasty. Sheepy: Grif: It eats... things. Sheepy: Grif: Like clover. Arsé-kun: Aza: Herbivore. I understand that part. Sheepy: Grif: It has big ears on top of its head. Arsé-kun: Aza: So a hopping raccoon... Sheepy: Grif: ........... Sheepy: Grif: ..........................what is a raccoon? Arsé-kun: Aza: That. *he gestures to a raccoon that JUST SO HAPPENS to be passing through the scene. It's too early for this boy to be up but he's hungy* Sheepy: Grif: !! Sheepy: Grif: I must touch it... Arsé-kun: *the raccoon leaves.* Sheepy: Grif: No...! Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd probably just get rabies or something, you dumb bitch. Sheepy: Grif: Define rabies. Sheepy: Grif: Unless I must go to the doctor for it I care not if I get to touch a raccoon. Arsé-kun: Kay: You absolutely fucking do. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: I can just die. Arsé-kun: Aza: I know this one. Consider dogs towards your brother. Someone infected with rabies will act like that towards everything. Arsé-kun: *Also, Kay staring at Grif real hard* Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Hmmmm... Sheepy: Grif: It is how I normally act in battle. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well! You better stop doing that! Sheepy: Grif: Impossible. Sheepy: Grif: When I begin a fight, I have a habit of going berserk. Arsé-kun: Kay: So like someone with rabies. Sheepy: Grif:...Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I have rabies. Arsé-kun: *Kay busts out laughing* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: It makes sense! You hate water, you're basically feral but worse, and you already died! You're just missing the foam! Sheepy: Grif: Foam? Arsé-kun: Aza: Foam? Sheepy: Grif: Like the material, I'd assume... Arsé-kun: Kay: No. Sheepy: Grif: Then what is it? Arsé-kun: *Kay now has to explain Rabies and what he knows of it to Grif and his grandpa. He only knows this much from several researches he committed because he didn't trust Fou at the time.* Sheepy: Grif: So if I caught it and bit you, you would certainly catch it. Sheepy: Grif:.... But it's not useful for enemies. Arsé-kun: Kay: I would also most certainly die. Sheepy: Grif:...Can dragons catch it? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck should I know? I'm not a vet. Sheepy: Grif: Vet? Sheepy: Grif: Why would dragons visit a vet? Sheepy: Grif: When Dad brought me to the vet when I was little they said I wasn't at the right type of doctor. Arsé-kun: Kay: Vets handle lizards! A dragon is a bigger, stronger lizard! It's their problem! Arsé-kun: *Kay gets a text message. It's Yog, using his phone as a conduit* Arsé-kun: Yog: [text: to Kay] Reptiles (such as lizards and snakes), amphibians (like frogs), birds, fish and insects do not get or carry rabies. Dragons cannot get rabies. Please pass this on. Thank you. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Your dad says dragons can't get rabies. Sheepy: Grif: I'm safe. Sheepy: Grif: So is Dad. He will visit soon. I can feel it. Arsé-kun: *Aza, no longer paying attention and just watching other people,* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Aight. Sheepy: Grif: Did you know, Kay? Sheepy: Grif: Dragons are shapeshifters. They can take any form they please. ...However, I... Arsé-kun: Kay: You look fine. Shut up. Sheepy: Grif:...am incapable of this. How embarrassing. Sheepy: Grif: I care very little about my appearance, but if I were to be capable of shapeshifting... I think I'd be taller. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't like that. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: Do you like being able to stare down on everyone? Sheepy: Grif: Maybe one day I'll grow a little taller. Hm...hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: What makes one grow taller? Arsé-kun: Kay: No idea. Sheepy: Grif: You're taller than me. You should know. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: Are we forgetting something important? We came here with Lance and Lot, but I feel as though someone is missing. Sheepy: Grif: There's that sad man too. Tryst. Arsé-kun: Kay: Them, us, Gawain, Aggy, my sister and her friend, Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: And the little kid. Sheepy: Grif: Yes.... Sheepy: Grif: Gawain is gone. Arsé-kun: Kay: Probably chasing a girl around. Sheepy: Grif: Why chase girls? Sheepy: Grif: Doesn't it seem needy and desperate? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's stupid and horny. Sheepy: Grif:...like a lizard? Sheepy: Grif: Dad tells me that it's often a good idea to act a little interested and then let your crush approach you, but if it's such a good idea, everyone would do it and nobody would ever be the one to confess. However... Sheepy: Grif: If I were to ever end up in such a situation, I would not lose. I would never be the one to confess. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ghh.. You're such a pain in the ass. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: You're gonna make me do all the work? ... I'm kidding, of course. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nevermind. Sheepy: Grif: I don't understand, but don't need to. Arsé-kun: Lot: --So shall we presume Gawain won yet again and call it a day? Sheepy: Tristan: Yes. He always does. Sheepy: Tristan: However, as long as I am with my closest companion, I am the winner in my heart. Arsé-kun: Lot: Time was up twenty minutes ago, but I was hoping he would come back. Oh, well. He'll be back by tomorrow. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes... Sheepy: Tristan: He must have gotten preoccupied. Arsé-kun: Lot: I think we both know what he is up to. Sheepy: Tristan: Of course. What else? Sheepy: Tristan: We could, however, claim victory all the same. Arsé-kun: Lot: That would be wrong. He won fairly. At least we have a score over 0 this time. Sheepy: Tristan: Do we? Arsé-kun: Lot: We talked to Guinevere. That counts. Sheepy: Tristan: I see... Sheepy: Tristan: She intimidates me. Arsé-kun: Lot: She is very pretty, don't get me wrong, but I agree. Sheepy: Tristan: Is she? I desire the ability to gaze upon beauty. Arsé-kun: Lot: You have eyes. Sheepy: Tristan: To behold such a beautiful woman in such an ugly world... Ah, I could not do such a thing. She, too, would become one with the ugliness. Sheepy: Tristan: Even someone as beautiful as me is tainted with ugliness. No. I will not ruin the image in my mind with reality. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah... what would your type be... Sheepy: Tristan: Tall. Arsé-kun: Lot: It is. Sheepy: Tristan: Well, that's all I've got. Arsé-kun: Lot: You only have tall? Sheepy: Tristan: I have no clue what else to visualize. Sheepy: Tristan: Hm...strong, based on Gawain's loss at her hands... Arsé-kun: Lot: Oh, easily. Sheepy: Tristan: Dependable. Long hair. Musical talent. Ah, wait, I've begun describing myself. I cannot assume such things about her. Arsé-kun: Lot: You always do this. Sheepy: Tristan: What do I do? Arsé-kun: Lot: How did we get from describing her to you? Sheepy: Tristan: Hahaha... Sheepy: Tristan: Perhaps at times I imagine myself as your type. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Are we doing this in public now? Sheepy: Tristan: It's a joke, of course. Arsé-kun: Lot: Gawain left, so.. Sheepy: Tristan: How convenient, it seems it was not a joke after all. I tricked you twice. Arsé-kun: Lot: Oh no. You got me twice. Sheepy: *Tristan seems genuinely pleased with himself!* Arsé-kun: Lot: So my place or yours? Sheepy: Tristan: Yours, of course. Living with Gawain is sad. Arsé-kun: Lot: And who knows when he could show up, very true. Arsé-kun: *Kay making the math lady face in the background* Arsé-kun: Lot: So this leaves Lance with the dorm to himself, and with Gawain out of the way. Win-win. Arsé-kun: Lot: wait Sheepy: Tristan: I am waiting. Arsé-kun: Lot: Wait no I messed that up Arsé-kun: Lot: Lance gets to deal with us but the jock's absent. Some win. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes, exactly. Sheepy: Tristan: Hopefully Lance can tolerate me for a little longer. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, you two have fun but *fingerguns* Don't be too stupid. Sheepy: Tristan: Of course. We will be smart. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm going the fuck home and taking the halfbaked fuckwit with me. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, can we pet a raccoon on the way home? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm glad you knew I was insulting you. No you cannot. Sheepy: Grif:...Insult? Sheepy: Grif:....Eh, I thought you were calling me a potato. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's ALSO an insult! Sheepy: Grif: Foolishness. Sheepy: Grif: Potatoes are the Earth's apple. Arsé-kun: Kay: motherfucker I have been insulting you since day one and I TOLD you I would. Sheepy: Grif: It is no insult to be the fruit that many rely on. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine, okay, you great potato famine. Sheepy: Grif: Hah! So I am! *he seems pleased with himself.* Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, we can head home now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please! And don't talk in whatever in public, y'all were about a metric fucksecond from giving me a migraine. Sheepy: Grif: R'lyehian? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that. Sheepy: Grif:...Eh, but.. Arsé-kun: Kay: I said in public, not ever. Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Okay, fine, but keep it down a little. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great doin' business with you. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif:........? Arsé-kun: *Kay groans* Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll explain on the way back. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Let's go home. Arsé-kun: *They do. Kay does explain on the way there.* Sheepy: Grif:...I understand now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good, cause I ain't doing it again. Hey, chucklefucks! We're home! Sheepy: *Aru rushes over to Kay.* Sheepy: Aru: You were with Lance, right? He's okay now, isn't he? I didn't hurt him too much? He's fine? He'll pull through, won't he? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, he's fine. He'll live. He's probably done worse stuff stupider. Sheepy: Aru: Thank goodness. I thought Caliburn killed him for sure. Maybe it'd open up more if I gave it a nickname... Sheepy: Aru: You think Calvin sounds close enough? Maybe Bernie? Hmmm... But it came from a rock, so maybe it'd like Rocky. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe if I list off every name in the baby names list I'll stumble upon the name of the ghost and it'll talk to me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Taser Fuckbitch the second. Sheepy: Aru:...Would it get mad at that? Sheepy: Aru: I'm starting to think it doesn't like me. I talk to it every day and it never responds. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's a fucking sword. Sheepy: Aru: Well, if there's a ghost inside, I suppose it's a good listener. Arsé-kun: Kay: A taser and a ghost? Who comes up with this shit? Sheepy: Aru: The creator of the sword. Sheepy: Aru:...I want to meet her one day... Although, Merlin might not really be thrilled about it considering she's had bad interactions with his family in the past. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck 'em. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lance almost got in a fistfight with one of Artoria's friends because she kicked Gawain's ass. Gawain deserved it. Sheepy: Aru: He just got electrocuted and now he wants to fight people? Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... Sheepy: Aru: Like a boar. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's the only reason they didn't. Gawain brought it up and Lance was like.. *makes a very grumpy expression* Sheepy: Aru: They'll try to fight until they finally die, regardless of their injuries. Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, that's not him. That's Gawain in football. Sheepy: Aru: He was upset because his chance was taken from him? Arsé-kun: Kay: He got embarrassed because he was injured. What a loser. Who gets embarrassed by that? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: Other than you, fucklechucks. Sheepy: Grif:...It'd be a little embarrassing now, I think. Sheepy: Grif: Cool knights come out unscathed. Arsé-kun: Kay: Knights wear ARMOR so they don't die. You're just an idiot. Sheepy: Grif:......Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: That's what I was missing. Sheepy: Grif:...A joke, of course. I wear armor generally. Arsé-kun: *distant sound of ITS JUST A FLESH WOUND* Sheepy: Aru: Speaking of boars. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll wait till that scenes over to pass through there. Sheepy: Aru: If you think about it, Bedi's pretty similar to the Bedivere in that movie. Arsé-kun: Kay: You calling him dumb? Sheepy: Aru: Well, it's moreso getting carried away with logic and not considering reality, right? Sheepy: Grif: I neither get carried away with logic not consider reality. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't defend any of that. Sheepy: Aru: It's not bad to think outside of the box. Arsé-kun: Kay: *badly imitating Grif* What box? I see no box. Sheepy: Grif:...? heepy: Grif: Box... Sheepy: Grif: Do you want a box, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I was imitating you. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what you probably would have said. Sheepy: Grif: You don't look enough like me to imitate me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Your dumbassery has no bounds. Sheepy: Grif: I look a lot like my dad. It is why my Charm is so high. Sheepy: Grif: Soon you will meet him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh boy. Can't waaaaaaaaaait. *sarcasm* Sheepy: Grif: Do you dislike him, Kay? Sheepy: Grif: He is very nice. Arsé-kun: Kay: I can't wait to clean up the inevitable mess that comes along. Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Dad is very clean. Sheepy: Grif: But I suppose he wouldn't mind. Sheepy: Aru: That's not what that means. Sheepy: Grif:....Very confusing. Sheepy: Grif: Could it be? Sheepy: Grif: Kay, do you worry that Dad eats people? Worry not. He wouldn't now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Now? That's still concerning. Sheepy: Grif: Of course he used to. Arsé-kun: Kay: So have you.....? Sheepy: Grif: Why would I? Arsé-kun: Kay: Why should I know? Sheepy: Grif: I don't have a statement to make. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's fair. Aru, is anyone else here? It's quiet... Too quiet. Sheepy: Aru: Bedi and Merlin are here but they're busy watching a movie. Arsé-kun: Kay: And no one else has mysteriously shown up? Sheepy: Aru: Why would they? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because the whole gang showed up yesterday and I have trust issues. Okay, not really. Sheepy: Aru: So that's normal? Arsé-kun: Kay: No! And it better not become normal! Sheepy: Grif: Everyone says that about me. Sheepy: Aru: No, so far it's been quiet today. I won't have anything to tell Caliburn tonight... Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell Caliburn to stop being a cuuuuuuuuunt Sheepy: Aru: Maybe it's just shy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe it's a fuckin' inanimate object. Sheepy: Aru: It's not! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ookkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! Sheepy: Aru: Teacher implied it wasn't. He wouldn't imply that if it wasn't true. Sheepy: Aru: He wouldn't lie... right? Arsé-kun: Kay: How the fuck should I know? I don't know the old coot. Sheepy: Aru: He's very smart. Arsé-kun: Kay: If he's so smart, why did he push you onto a dumb art major? Checkmate, bitch. Sheepy: Aru:? Sheepy: Aru: Because he was worried about Merlin, I guess. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lame. Arsé-kun: *Kay decides to go annoy Merlin. By speaking to Bedi mid-movie* Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck off with this, you guys have watched it like twenty times and I have fresh gossip. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Kay, you're home! Arsé-kun: Kay: You didn't hear me yelling? I called you a chucklefuck and you didn't answer. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks slightly miffed but can't do anything about it. He turns the subtitles on and goes back to the movie* Sheepy: Bedi: It's rude to interrupt a movie, but it's also rude not to answer... Really, I had no good options. Arsé-kun: Kay: Anyway! Gawain won as you'd expect and my sister showed up briefly, but that's not important. Lance talked to a girl today. Isn't that fucking amazing?? Sheepy: Bedi: Amazing! He talks to people? Arsé-kun: Kay: Apparently! And Gawain got his ass kicked by her, too, so I approve. Sheepy: Bedi: Poor Gawain. He always receives the short end of the stick... Although it sometimes appears that he always looks for it, perhaps so no one else gets it. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's too hopeful for potatobrain. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he should get a different sport. Sheepy: Bedi: But he's too short for basketball... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. And I can finally confirm the other two goin' at it. Finally. We've been knew. heepy: Bedi: Good for them! Arsé-kun: Kay: They ain't told Gawain yet. I think Gawain is just tied to the bottom of the bus. Sheepy: Bedi: Poor Gawain... Arsé-kun: Kay: One day he'll get his shit together. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he should try looking around for a new interest he could devote his time to. He likes cooking, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: But he can't mash everything, yeah. Sheepy: Bedi: Lucan tried it once and referred to it as "a crime against humanity" and that "Gawain should stick to potatoes because it's the only thing he knows how to cook". Arsé-kun: Kay: Atta boy, Lucan. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe Gawain could open a restaurant for babies. Sheepy: Bedi: Baby food is just mashed, isn't it? So he could make gourmet baby food. Arsé-kun: Kay: What if he just babysat? That makes money. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, that works too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can you stop trashing Gawain for ten seconds? A good scene is coming up. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. I forgot about the movie... Arsé-kun: *AND YER FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!. classic* Sheepy: Bedi: There's a company like that I think. Arsé-kun: Merlin: what Sheepy: Bedi: One that makes gourmet baby food. Sheepy: Bedi: However... do babies know they're eating gourmet? Arsé-kun: Kay: Babies don't know shit. They're useless. They can't even get a job. Sheepy: Bedi: Why give them gourmet food? They'll just throw it onto themselves. Arsé-kun: Kay: Or throw it up, probably. Babies are so stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: They're a little scary, too. They scream a lot and can bite you. Arsé-kun: Kay: What are they supposed to do? Fuckin... *mock british accent, you know which. the stereotypical one* Momther, I desire the teet. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, not biting you would be a start. Arsé-kun: Kay: God, imagine getting bitten on the tit. Nasty. Arsé-kun: *Merlin, staring;* Sheepy: Bedi: Scary... Arsé-kun: *Fou has started chewing on Bedi's hand. Gib attention* Sheepy: Bedi: *he starts petting Fou* Do you think some people don't grow out of it? They just go around biting people? Maybe that's where vampires came from. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are vampires just manbabies with biting habits? Have we been knew? Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe. Babies don't like the sun, do they? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was kidding. People actually like that have issues. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmmm... Sheepy: Bedi: I thought you were being serious... Arsé-kun: Merlin: No way. Sheepy: Bedi: It's hard to tell. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* The outlet. The outlet. The. Outlet. Griflet, you are lowering my SAN. Sheepy: Bedi: You rarely seem serious so I take most of what you say seriously so I don't make a joke out of what you say when it's important. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair! Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* Define outlet. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* The rectangle with the small holes. Put the prongs into the holes. Don't break it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I hear tech support. I'm not helping. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I feel intimidated by the wall faces. Sheepy: Bedi: He doesn't know much about modern technology it seems. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* I can't update the OS if you don't plug it in. Arsé-kun: Kay: He told me he knew computers. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I will break the prongs. I will do it. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he was lying? Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* And I will fail you, making you start over entirely. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* The prongs are so fragile. If I act, I can fail. If I do not act, I cannot fail. Clearly, the best action here is to not act. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm losing IQ and I ain't even there. Sheepy: Bedi: He isn't the type to lie, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sounds like grandpa the first time he left his cabin in ten years. Sheepy: Bedi: He did live in a cave, apparently, but wasn't he living on campus before he came to this dorm? Sheepy: Aru: *faintly* This is how you plug it into the outlet, okay? Just don't force it too much and the prongs won't break. Sheepy: Bedi: He did live in a cave, apparently, but wasn't he living on campus before he came to this dorm? Sheepy: Aru: *faintly* This is how you plug it into the outlet, okay? Just don't force it too much and the prongs won't break. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what he said. Maybe he never had to plug something in. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe... Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* Yes, thank you. Like that. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I fear the prongs. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* May God have mercy on our souls. Okay, please turn it on. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* I touch this button to turn it on. Right? Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* But if I press too hard, I will break it. I fear the button... Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* Use the kind of strength you expect your roommate to use. Sheepy: Grif: *faintly* Ah. Be weak. I will try my hardest. Arsé-kun: *Kay is almost offended.* Sheepy: Grif: *faintly*....it's an apple. Hmmm... Apple... hungry... Arsé-kun: *Fou gets bored and walks into the other room.* Sheepy: Aru: It's an apple logo because it's by the company Apple. Arsé-kun: *Paimon is on the table, presumably to watch Grif fail* Sheepy: Grif:........ Logo? Arsé-kun: Yog: Their symbol. Sheepy: Grif: So your logos are orbs and keys. Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... It says "hello". Sheepy: Grif:......Uh.... Arsé-kun: Yog: Pick the top option for now. I will change it once I get in. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. I picked it. Sheepy: Grif: It is difficult. I cannot read any of this. There are all of these numbers and I don't understand Sheepy: Grif: Kay knows math. He would know this. Sheepy: Aru: It's asking for a birthday. Sheepy: Grif: Today is its birthday. Arsé-kun: Yog: Press 0. Then 3. 0 again. 2. Sheepy: Grif: I did it. I am now 0302 years old. Arsé-kun: Yog: That's the date. March second. Sheepy: Grif: Behind whom? Arsé-kun: Yog: Griflet, you are reminding me of Grandfather and that is not a good thing. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Yog: The year to put in is- *LOUD TRUCK HORN CENSOR* Sheepy: Grif: I see. I will do so. Sheepy: Aru:...He did it so fast I didn't get the chance to see... Arsé-kun: *Kay isn't plugging march second into his calendar. Nope. You can't prove anything* Arsé-kun: Yog: It should start updating. Once it's done, I will take my turn. Sheepy: Grif: Update... Sheepy: Grif: One day I will update and know more than I do now. I want to be smarter. Arsé-kun: Yog: Then learn. You're not a robot. Sheepy: Grif: I try very hard but struggle. Arsé-kun: Yog: Keep at it. You're making some progress. Sheepy: Grif: I am? Arsé-kun: *Yog brings up the menu. The INT bar has slightly increased* Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: I am growing smarter. Arsé-kun: Yog: Learn more every day. Sheepy: Grif: One day I will be very smart if just keep working at it. Sheepy: Grif: Like Wilbur. But that'll take a long time. Arsé-kun: Yog: Perhaps. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Oh, speaking of which. Open the door before he gets here. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Oh, finally, someone I can talk to. Tell me not to commit a murder. Arsé-kun: *Wibur looks sorta disheveled* Sheepy: Grif: What happened? Sheepy: Grif: Who hurt you? Sheepy: Grif: I'll tear them to shreds! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: A fuckin' jock shoved me into a locker and I'm thiiiiis close to bringing down the wrath of the old ones! Sheepy: Grif: Who? Who is it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Big blond guy. Stupid. I believe they've been referred to as, pardon my language, Potato-fucker. Arsé-kun: *Visible Kay confusion as he stops Snooping Around as Usual* Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: I know him. Sheepy: Aru: Gawain? He seemed very nice when I met him yesterday. Arsé-kun: Kay: He wouldn't do that. He's dumb, but he's not mean! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Well, he did. I would not come here in anger just to lie. Sheepy: Grif: Exactly! Sheepy: Aru: ...would he really...? Arsé-kun: Kay: No way. He's not capable of being mean. On accident, sure, but not like that. Never seen him do anything malicious. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe something is upsetting him. Sheepy: Grif: No excuse. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you "tear him to shreds" and you're outta here. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Sheepy: Grif: Hm... hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: Wil... or Kay...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Lets go find him. I'll beat him up if we have to. It's... *kay stops* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks the time* Arsé-kun: Kay: It's way later than when he usually goes out. Sheepy: Aru: He’s acting differently than usual and not following his usual patterns? Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he’s drunk from a bad potato. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... What?? Sheepy: Aru: Like vodka. ...It was a joke!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Vodka.... Sounds nice about now. Sheepy: Aru: No!! We need to stop Gawain from embracing his jock side! Arsé-kun: Kay: What, you gonna come too? Sheepy: Aru: I could! Arsé-kun: *Kay makes a face akin to the excalibur face* Sheepy: Aru: You don't want me to? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's on you, then, if you get your shit kicked in. I'm getting my gear. Sheepy: Aru:...? Sheepy: Aru: Is your college really that scary? Arsé-kun: *Kay exits scene. Kay re-enters scene a little later with his leather jacket and pads on. The Gear.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah, I just don't trust any outting with Grif that isn't a shopping trip. Sheepy: Aru: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, let's go! Arsé-kun: Kay: And I swear to god, if this ends up off path? It's your problem alone, Grif. I'm banned and I'm not letting Aru do that. Sheepy: Grif: Why would it? Arsé-kun: *Wilbur joins the party without consent! Jackass.* Arsé-kun: Kay: I got a bad feeling. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Let's go, let's go. Let us eradicate a jock. Arsé-kun: *Aru joins the party! She is woefully underequipped, though.* Sheepy: *One day she will be better equipped, once she masters Caliburn and gets gear of her own! Maybe. But not right now.* Arsé-kun: *Aru will be in the middle of the pack for her safety* Sheepy: *Grif rushes to look for Gawain!* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is able to keep up easily. Kay is not* Sheepy: *Aru stays close to Kay. She doesn't trust these two to not start bloodshed.* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is less inclined to violence, but.....* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And there they go. Real fuckin' helpful. Sheepy: Aru: Now what do we do? Sheepy: Aru: Do we just go home...? But maybe we should find Gawain first just in case. Arsé-kun: Kay: Try to catch up I guess? Unless we see the jock himself. Sheepy: Aru: Sounds like a good idea. Sheepy: Aru: I haven't seen him yet... Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither have I. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he has his phone on him. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a good idea! *he immediately dials up Gawain* Sheepy: *Gawain picks up!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Bro, where are you? You're late. Sheepy: Gawain?: I'm around! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Yeah, are you? Sheepy: Gawain?: Have you tried looking around? Arsé-kun: Kay: What crawled up your ass and died? *he does look around* Sheepy: Gawain?: Really? You give up so easily, don't you? Well, I can relate. Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch I can't see. Sheepy: *...Something grabs Kay from his blindspot!* Arsé-kun: *Kay yells out in shock and tries to pull away!* Sheepy: *Aru screams because Kay screamed.* Arsé-kun: Kay: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK Sheepy: Gawain?: Hey, lighten up a bit! You're too stiff. You should learn to have fun before you become, well, a stiff. Sheepy: *Gawain has an unusually smug grin on his face.* Arsé-kun: Kay: That wasn't funny at all! Seriously, what's up your ass? Sheepy: Gawain?: I've just done a little thinking, and, see... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's a first. Sheepy: Gawain?: Doesn't it just stink being typecasted? The idiot jock, the one constantly getting made fun of. Sheepy: Gawain?: Why don't I just be what they keep calling me, huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Alllll right, quit it. *he puts an arm in front of Aru* Gawain can't even think negatively. Sheepy: Gawain?: ...That easy, huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: This golf club is going right up your pussy unless you identify yourself! Sheepy: Gawain?: You'd really do that to your precious friend? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, you're clearly Gawain and I'm the king of Transylvania! Fuck off! Sheepy: Gawain?: Just when I thought you had some potential... OK, hit me all you'd like! Sheepy: Gawain?: But just remember, every action you take has consequences. Just because I'm not Gawain doesn't mean hitting me wouldn't hurt him. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes to kick Gawain in the nono goodies* Sheepy: Gawain?: Ugh...! ...Hahahaha! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, cool, I hate you already! Sheepy: Gawain?: Oh, oh! You want to fight?! Sheepy: Gawain?: ...Man, it’d be really nice if I could come up with something from his dark side but he just doesn’t have one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Told you! He's not negative! You picked the wrong ray of sunshine, bucko! Sheepy: Gawain?: He’s basically just a bundle of worries and positivity inside. What a pain! “I need to be successful for my siblings”. “I need to be a good older brother”. “Agravain is looking stressed, can I help him somehow?”... What can I do with this?! Sheepy: Gawain?: I knew he looked like the human equivalent of a golden retriever, but I picked him anyway. Gosh, I should’ve gone for someone else. Who’s an easy target d’you think? Arsé-kun: Kay: If you think I'm helping you, you're stupider than he is. Sheepy: Gawain?: Well, of course you wouldn’t help me. Sheepy: Gawain?: Anyway, let’s fight, huh? Rough each other up a bit? I bet you’ve always wanted to fight a jock, right? Been shoved in one too many lockers? Arsé-kun: Kay: Look at me. Do I look small and nerdy enough for that shit? Sheepy: Gawain?: You don’t look like you’ve had a thought in your life. Sheepy: Gawain?: ... A joke, of course! Arsé-kun: Kay: Ha. Ha ha. Sheepy: Gawain?: Well? Wanna experience the locker? Sheepy: Aru; You talk like a cartoon villain. Arsé-kun: Kay: Where have I heard this before? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds like Grif mixed with a cartoon villain.... I feel like I've heard this before. Sheepy: Gawain?: ...Uh oh. Maybe you’ve got potential after all. Sheepy: Aru: ...? Arsé-kun: Kay: *imitating Grif* What is pot ental? Can I eat it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Man, who gives a shit? Leave Gawain out of this- It's already obvious he's useless to you! Sheepy: Gawain?: Ah-ah-ah! That's not how it works, Kay! Sheepy: Gawain?: *he pulls out a switchblade and opens it* Really, you should know that by now! Arsé-kun: *Kay immediately shifts to block Aru from "Gawain" with his entirety.* Sheepy: Gawain?: Hey, you think this'll kick him out of football? *He lifts his other hand before... cutting it with the switchblade! His malicious grin stays despite the bleeding.* Arsé-kun: Kay: WHAT THE FUCK?! Sheepy: *Aru lets out a small whimper but she thankfully isn't crying.* Sheepy: Gawain?: What, you'd rather be the one? Sheepy: Gawain?: It ticks me off you'd compare me to that idiot. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, kind of! Oh, no, you're hitting a defenseless person! You're soooooooooooo tough! I'm so scared of a dumb bitch! Sheepy: *Gawain? lunges at Kay, wielding the switchblade!* Arsé-kun: *Kay swings at him with the golf club!* Sheepy: *Gawain? doesn't react, instead slashing Kay with the switchblade!* Arsé-kun: *Kay steps back, sharply inhaling through his teeth before giving it a second try with the golf club. Fore!* Sheepy: *Gawain? stumbles back.* Sheepy: Gawain?:...Sheesh, he's gonna feel that in the morning. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, good, that's what he gets for sleeping around so much. Sheepy: Gawain?: I thought you'd be a little more hesitant hitting your friend, but- Sheepy: Grif: YOU...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, take over! Just don't kill Gawain! Sheepy: Grif: I'll... I'll...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I'm prepared, Griflet. Allow me to take my turn before we begin the slaughter. Sheepy: Gawain?: Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Let's talk about this!!! Arsé-kun: *Wilbur casts a spell on Grif! It's blue.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh? Oh??? Is it YOU again, janitor? Sheepy: *Grif lunges at Gawain?, more like a beast would than a human. He claws at Gawain?, tearing Nyar out of him! Gawain collapses on the spot.* Sheepy: Nyar: You didn't notice sooner?! You really are stupid- ow, ow, ow! Arsé-kun: Kay: Man, shut up! You lost your rights to speak! Sheepy: Nyar: Wow! Sheepy: Nyar: Geez, your fists hurt...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You earned every punch you receive, Uncle Fidget-Spinner. I don't want to see you again. *he joins Grif in giving Nyar a beatdown* Sheepy: Nyar: Ow, ow, ow! C'mon, we'll all forgive each other, huh?! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You shoved DUNCAN into a locker! There is no forgiveness for you! Sheepy: Nyar: I was PLAYING a PART!! Sheepy: Grif: You hurt Kay! I'll show you no mercy, just this once! Arsé-kun: Kay: Kick his ass! Sheepy: Aru:...but Gawain's... Arsé-kun: Kay: A little hard to..! *gestures* Sheepy: Aru: He's hurt, but... Those two... are really scary. Arsé-kun: Kay: I knew Grif was, but it must run in the family..! C'mon, lets try to go around. Arsé-kun: *Distant rumbling. Too low to be an earthquake. And it's close by..?!* Sheepy: Aru: We need to get Gawain and go, n-now...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Go as fast as your mortal legs can take you! Not even I want to be here for this part! I'll even help you just this once! Sheepy: *Aru rushes over to Gawain!* Arsé-kun: *Kay and Wilbur both rush over to Gawain, too! Everyone agrees-- It's time to get outta here!* Sheepy: *Aru tries to help them escape with Gawain.* Arsé-kun: *Aru doesn't need to "try"- They have a guaranteed success!* Sheepy: *Great!* Arsé-kun: *The rumbling abruptly stops, like a bad simile stopping the readers' eye as they pause to reread the line* Sheepy: Aru: What... what was that...? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That, unfortunately, was my older brother. Sheepy: Aru:.... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He is usually much smaller, but he is positively livid. I don't blame him..! Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome to Weird Shit 101, Aru! If I can do it, so can you! Now lets get home and cry about it! Sheepy: Aru:...Okay. But... Gawain will be okay, won't he...? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It's just a cut and two bruises, I would presume, he should be fine. Sheepy: Aru: But if he's not? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Then I accept the blame for letting it go that long. Sheepy: Aru:...Well, okay. I don't see how it's your fault, but... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Someone has to take the blame. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, back at the Nyar Kicking Grounds! Nyar is being kicked by a child* Sheepy: *Grif is trying to calm down. He's making an attempt. Really.* Arsé-kun: Duncan: --And that, and that! Take this! For being a big meanie! Sheepy: Nyar: Ugh... Everything hurts... Arsé-kun: Duncan: You won't get hurt if you're a good boy! Be good! Sheepy: Nyar: That's not in my nature. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Me too! But I was bad when you were and I'm being good? I think? Sheepy: Nyar: Only bad kids kick their uncles. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Only bad kids hurt other kids! Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, but I'm not a kid. Arsé-kun: *he DOES stop kicking Nyar* Arsé-kun: Duncan: But you're great grampy's kid, so you are a kid! Sheepy: Nyar:...Uhuh, sure. Arsé-kun: Duncan: You agree? Sheepy: Nyar: I don't think I'm a kid. Arsé-kun: Duncan: You said "sure"..! Sheepy: Nyar: It was sarcastic. Arsé-kun: Duncan: oh Arsé-kun: *Yog has kindly provided a quest marker above all this. Duncan bops Nyar with it. It feels like a pool noodle. No damage.* Sheepy: Nyar: Why? Arsé-kun: Duncan: I dunno! *bop!* Sheepy: Nyar: What, are you going to keep doing that until I apologize? Arsé-kun: Duncan: Good idea! Sheepy: Nyar: I never apologize. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I don't like to either! It feels really bad. I hope I don't have to after making the shaky rumblies! Sheepy: Nyar: Well, you don't have to. Sheepy: Nyar: Why should someone else tell you to apologize? Arsé-kun: Duncan: I did a scary thing! Sheepy: Nyar: It's not genuine if they demand it from you. Sheepy: Grif: I, too, did a scary thing. Now no one will like me. Arsé-kun: Duncan: You got mad! I got mad! Dad is probably mad! Sheepy: Nyar: I didn't. Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, hey, this is what family is all about! Sometimes we bully each other a little but in the end, we're a big, happy family! Sheepy: Grif: No. I still feel all-consuming rage from you hurting Kay. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Tell that to the detive! The. The uhhh. The de'ctive! Sheepy: Holmes: ...Oh, dear, you noticed me. *he comes out of the shadows* I heard all of the commotion and was wondering what was happening. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Uncle Nyar did a meanie thing! He was people puppeting a person! He shoved me in a locker, it was scary! Sheepy: Holmes: I see. Things he's been prohibited from doing. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Grif and Wil beat him up! Sheepy: Nyar: Yep. I've served my time. Sheepy: Holmes: Don't do it again, please. Sheepy: Nyar: I can't say I will, nor can I say I won't. ...Oh, I definitely am. But when? Who? Why? How? Where? Who knows. Arsé-kun: *Duncan lets go of the quest marker. It goes back in the air before disappearing. Bye bye quest marker* Sheepy: Grif: It's gone. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Don't do it again! I don't like lockers! Sheepy: Nyar: Okay, fine, I won't. Sheepy: *Back at the dorm...* Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, great to know... That we're not fit for Track... *huff, puff* Sheepy: Aru: *She's whimpering as one does before they cry. At least wait until Kay catches his breath, Aru!* Sheepy: Aru:....I, I didn't help at all...! You got stabbed a-and I just watched!! *sob* And...and Gawain...! *sob, sob* Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't get stabbed! It's just my jacket! And Gawain's fine probably! Sheepy: Aru: It's just... your jacket...? Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... I'm not looking down if that's what you're suggesting! Sheepy: Aru:...But... Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope! Sheepy: Aru:...They're scary...! *sob* And when you were in danger, I was thinking, "I'm scared! I want to go back to Teacher if this is what it's like here!" *sob, sob* Arsé-kun: Kay: I told you that you shouldn't be here..! You didn't listen! Sheepy: Aru: But, I...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: There was only so much that could be done. I wanted to scare what was possessing him, so I apologize for frightening you. That was... Unmanageable. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, Gawain is snoring away like none of this happened.* Sheepy: Aru:...Possession... that happens here...? Arsé-kun: Kay: First I've heard of it. Good to know Grif ain't slacking off though. Sheepy: Aru:...Possession... Sheepy: Aru:...You can interact with creatures possessing things? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What in the holy name of our lord and savior Taco Baco are we yelling about now...?! Sheepy: Aru: Merlin! Gawain is hurt! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Ehhhh??? Sheepy: Aru: So is Kay I think, but not as much as Gawain. Arsé-kun: Kay: You gotta tell me, I ain't lookin'! Sheepy: Aru:...Can you interact with my sword ghost? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... Your... Your what, now? Sheepy: Aru: My sword ghost. Sheepy: Aru: I have a sword that I pulled out of a stone and I think it has a ghost in it. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I may need to examine it, but it's probably possible? Sheepy: Aru: Um, I can give it to you, but it has a tendency to shock anyone but me. Sheepy: Aru: Not permanently give it to you, of course. I need it. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Of course. It doesn't belong to me. Sheepy: Aru: Should I get it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Perhaps save that for the morning. Sheepy: Bedi: Kay?! You've been hurt?! Sheepy: Bedi: It's not serious, is it?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Considering I didn't notice it outside of actually being hit, I don't think so? Sheepy: Bedi: Thank goodness... Arsé-kun: Merlin: -Okay, okay! *he's returned with his staff* Here we go! I'll just cover the whole room for safety's sake! Sheepy: Aru: Do you have a tendency to kill people if you target just them? Is that why it's for safety? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope! I'm gonna be on fire regardless if I don't rout my energy well. Sheepy: Aru: Rout...? Sheepy: Aru: Oh... will I ever have that problem? Scary... Sheepy: Bedi: When Merlin is done, can I have context? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, sure. Too long didnt read version, FUCK Grif's uncle. Arsé-kun: *Merlin heals everyone! Phantasmal flowers cover the room! He is not lit on fire!* Sheepy: Bedi: But everyone is okay, aren't they? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm good. Sheepy: Aru: I just want to go home. Sheepy: Aru: But I doubt I can until I finish what I need to do here. Arsé-kun: Kay: So basically, Nyarly decided Hey! What if I... Steal a human person and cause problems on purpose? Except he took Gawain. Who isn't mean at all. Dumb bitch fucked himself over. It sucked! I almost got stabbed! But it's still better than gym class! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Aru: Gym class? Arsé-kun: Kay: Gym teacher's a right cunt Sheepy: Aru: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's a former army guy. Treats us the same way. Most of us can't run a mile, thanks! Sheepy: Aru: Scary... Sheepy: Aru: I hope Teacher doesn't decide that I have to take a class with the gym teacher... he can't do that, can he? I'm not in college! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: For further context, Uncle Nyar is the janitor, a guidance councilor, and a science teacher among other things. He gets bored sometimes, and he isn't inherently good. He is usually stopped before he can do anything, though... Sheepy: Aru: Why so many jobs? How does he even have time to do them all? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He does. Not with that face, though. Sheepy: Aru: I don't understand... Sheepy: Aru: I just know he's dangerous. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He has several hundred appearances to use. The fact that he is merely doing this is impressive for his track record. He usually just scares kids out of places. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... Still hate him, though. Sheepy: Aru: Um, okay. Sheepy: Aru: So usually he isn't this bad... Sheepy: Aru:....Maybe Halloween has him all excited. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... I will give that a confirmation. This is when we are most easily able to cross over, after all. Arsé-kun: *Kay takes his phone out and puts it on the table for Yog. He happened to look down. oops* Sheepy: Aru: He's on your phone insead of with Grif? Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... I hope nothing happened to Grif. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... He's probably fine! *hes jerked his head up* Anyway, too late for this crap. Sheepy: Bedi: It is late, isn't it... Actually, I was just about to fall asleep when I heard all of the commotion. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorry not sorry. Deal with it in the morning. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. We have class tomorrow. Sheepy: Bedi: Good night, Kay. Call for me if you need anything. I like to think I am easy to wake. Arsé-kun: Kay: Night. *he looks over the rest of the room* I trust y'all can fuck off eventually. I'm out. Fuck this. *he just leaves. fucks 0* Sheepy: Bedi: I'll uninvite Gawain when he wakes up. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ehhh. *he leans back in* He's allowed. Sheepy: Aru: Um... there's a problem. Sheepy: Aru: But it's minor. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Rrrright. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh.... Arsé-kun: Kay: We'll figure something out. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, thanks. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe when Teacher planned this, there was a room still available... Arsé-kun: Kay: Before their dorm got fucked, I did have an extra room. Merlin stole it. Sheepy: Aru: Ah... I was supposed to learn from Merlin, so maybe...?! Maybe the previous dorm had room for me! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Aru:...Back at home I had a nice room with a comfy bed and an idea of what my goals were every day. Now I have no room, no idea on where to go next, and Teacher is on vacation in Bermuda. Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome to college. It's almost exactly the fucking same. Sheepy: Aru: Really? You want to go back home too? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorta. Probably not for the same reasons, though. Sheepy: Aru: Well, we can support each other, then! Arsé-kun: Kay: As my first act of brotherly support, go the fuck to bed. In mine. Take it, feel free. I'll suffer this once but don't tell anyone I was nice. Sheepy: Aru:...! Thank you! I won't tell anyone unless they ask! ... And maybe Caliburn. Arsé-kun: Kay: The sword hasn't said shit, so big whoop. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... Sheepy: Aru: Tomorrow we might get answers! Arsé-kun: Kay: Tomorrow I have theater class. Goddammit. Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... Sheepy: Aru: Well, good luck with that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not. I'm gonna sleep through it probably. Whatever. Go do what you need to or whatever so I can go in. Sheepy: Aru: Right! Sorry! *She leaves and does as asked.* Arsé-kun: *Kay briefly considers downing a cup of alcohol, but decides against it- He needs to get up the next morning. Instead, time to sit in the dark and consider existential dread.* heepy: *Aru eventually finishes.* Arsé-kun: *Kay goes into his room, and just kinda tosses his gear over There. Deal with it in the morning. grabs his pajamas and steps out to change* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks the room over, changes some clothes, checks room over, changes some clothes, ch-* Sheepy: Grif: ...So this is where to change now? Strange choice. But if that's the case... Arsé-kun: Kay: *whisper-hissing* Good lord..!! *he whips around to face Grif* No, I'm out here because my sister's in my room, you git..! How long were you there?? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ugh, forget it..! Night, Grif. *he promptly retreats back into his own room. Embarrassed.* Sheepy: Grif: I see. You show off your chest to me and don't let me show mine. It's not interesting anyway. Arsé-kun: *Kay makes an embarrassed groan noise from the other side of the door.* Sheepy: Aru: I saw someone get unpossessed today. It was scary how he was forced to act until then... You'll protect me from possession, won't you, Caliburn? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... You brought your fucking sword in here? Are you gonna cuddle it too? Sheepy: Aru: H-hey! I can't risk it getting stolen somehow!! And anyway, if I don't tell it today's events, maybe it'll feel left out. Arsé-kun: Kay: *staring* Sheepy: Aru: Wh-what? Arsé-kun: *distant fou noise. duncan has found the cat* Arsé-kun: Kay: How am I supposed to come over there when you have a live taser? Sheepy: Aru: Okay, okay, I'll put it away. Where can I put it? Sheepy: Aru: Should I just put it with your gear? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I guess. Just hope I remember it's there in the morning. Sheepy: *Aru puts Caliburn with Kay's gear.* Sheepy: Aru: I'll have to if Wilbur is going to help. Arsé-kun: Kay: And hope you get an answer you understand. Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Sheepy: Aru:...Hey, what if... what if the sword doesn't speak English and it's been quiet because it doesn't understand me? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's an English sword, isn't it? What's it gonna speak? Italian? Sheepy: Aru: Good point. Arsé-kun: *Kay sits down on his carpet* Sheepy: Aru: Are you sure you won't be cold? Arsé-kun: Kay: If I do, you'll know. Sheepy: Aru: What do you mean? Arsé-kun: Kay: Scoot over and I'll show you for free. Sheepy: *Aru scoots over* Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks! *kay scoots into bed. warmth.* Sheepy: Aru:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I changed my mind. It's too chilly. Sheepy: Aru: Eh...! You tricked me! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not my fault you didn't expect this. Sheepy: Aru: I expected something cool like you revealing some hidden heating device! Sheepy: Aru:...But blankets are heating devices... Arsé-kun: Kay: I wish I had a secret heater. That would be amazing. Sheepy: Aru: Are they real? Arsé-kun: Kay: Heaters? Sheepy: Aru: No! Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, I sure hope heaters are real. Sheepy: Aru: Of course they are. I've seen then before. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what? Ghosts? Or secret machines? Sheepy: Aru: Secret machines, but I guess ghosts too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Both are. I mean, one's just a machine but hidden, yeah? Sheepy: Aru: I want to see one one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's hidden. You can't. Sheepy: Aru: ?! Sheepy: Aru: If it's not hidden anymore, it's no longer a hidden device... Arsé-kun: Kay: Actually.. I think we can kill two birds with one stone here. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: If what Bedi said is true, then there's a ghost somewhere with several computers. So in theory... But fuck going. Stupid Nyar the janitor likes scaring people around there. Sheepy: Aru: Nyar... he was the man tonight, wasn't he? Sheepy: Aru: He scares me... Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. I'm not even gonna try pronouncing the whole thing. I don't like him. Sheepy: Aru: I don't want to see him again...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' luck. Turned out he's one of Merlin's teachers and my guidance councilor. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh god, I have to do something about that. Sheepy: Aru:...! He has so many jobs! Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe more. But he's also the reason Grif's here rooming with me, so.... Sheepy: Aru: There's no way to get away from him... Is it safe going out alone anymore? Arsé-kun: Kay: Maybe not this week? That I've seen, he just likes scaring people, not... Whatever that was? Sheepy: Aru:...Okay, I'll wait until next week. Arsé-kun: Kay: Just take your sword with you. Or buy a taser. Sheepy: Aru: I know how to use Caliburn more. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sword it is. Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh, but if people ask, I'll say it's a prop. Arsé-kun: Kay: Costume prop. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe I'm supposed to be a knight. But I don't really dress like one. Arsé-kun: Kay: Princess knight. Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Oh, I like that!! Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Wait, we can go further. If you wear enough red, you could be the Queen of Hearts? Sheepy: Aru: Eh? Sheepy: Aru: I-I wouldn't decapitate people!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Guess who got stuck as Alice. We ain't goin' for accuracy. Sheepy: Aru: You're...Alice? Arsé-kun: Kay: And I ain't wearing a dress. That would suck. Sheepy: Aru:....You're Alice... It's not really fitting. Arsé-kun: Kay: Alice was a normal kid, until they encountered some weird shit. Sounds like college. Sheepy: Aru: Yeah, but! But! I'd never decapitate anyone! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, so you're the King of Hearts. Sheepy: Aru: King? Sheepy: Aru: What did he do? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck nothing because the Queen was a force of reckoning. Sheepy: Aru: Hmm... I guess the world dodged that from me because I was born now rather than back when this sword was used to choose a king. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thank god. If you were king I'd cry. Sheepy: Aru: I'd cry too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Glad we agree. Arsé-kun: *sibling chatter continues. etc, etc, etc.* Arsé-kun: --Monday, October 25th-- Sheepy: *There's the nice smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ...? ??? Sheepy: Aru: Good morning. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhh. *graceful* Mornin'..? Sheepy: Aru: You have class, don't you? When is it? Arsé-kun: Kay: Uhhhhh. 2? Sheepy: Aru: Well, okay. You have time then. Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Wait, no, shit. Is my other one back on...? *he reaches for his phone to check his email. Phone not there* Sheepy: Aru: Did you lose your phone? Arsé-kun: Kay: Whhhere the fuck Arsé-kun: Kay: And who the fuck...? Sheepy: Aru: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Who is cooking this early..? Sheepy: Aru: I don't know. I couldn't check without potentially waking you. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Probably Bedi. Lets go check it out, yeah? Sheepy: Aru: Right! Arsé-kun: *Kay and Aru relocate! Dududud* Sheepy: *Bedi is cooking with Gawain! Considering the food smells good, Gawain isn't ruining things too much. Whatever Bedi is frying, it smells potato-y.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... Eh? Y'all are at it this early? Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. Did we wake you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure did, but whatever. You see my phone anywhere? I gotta make sure I don't have my early class. Sheepy: Bedi: I saw it on the table. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sick. *he goes and gets it* Sheepy: Bedi: Hopefully he found the table I was referring to. Sheepy: Aru: If it were round, it'd be more fitting, considering everyone's names. You should invest in a round table. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell no. Where would it go? Arsé-kun: Kay: And anyway, more importantly- *he looks from his phone to Gawain* You good? Sheepy: Gawain: I'm a little sore and somehow I hurt my hand. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, that checks out. Sheepy: Gawain: I had a weird nightmare, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: No you didn't. Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I woke up thinking maybe I should strive for self improvement! Arsé-kun: Kay: Huh. So there was a plus to all that mess, then. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Phew, don't have class. We got time. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm making breakfast. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wow, I might eat this morning! *he's joking I hope. college schedules am i right gang* Sheepy: Bedi: Make sure to eat three real meals every day, Kay. Sheepy: Bedi: You'll regret it otherwise. Arsé-kun: Kay: Mmmmmhm. While you two are doin' that, I should probably explain last night better than "Mr. Janitor's a cunt", yeah? Sheepy: Bedi: Please do. Sheepy: Bedi: I was worried all night about it. Arsé-kun: *Kay sits down and starts retelling what he remembers. He starts with Nyar's relation to Grif, covers most of the dialogue not covered by the previous explanation, and ends at the part where they ran like hell.* Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Arsé-kun: Kay: --- So too long didn't listen, Oops! Local monstrosity accidentally invoked the desire to do better. Good job, fucking idiot. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least, I guess???? Sheepy: Gawain: It's odd, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's like a worse version of when he scared you guys out of the house. As a "lesson". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... So are you finally gonna listen to literally everybody and stop playing concussion ball? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, the doctor recommended I probably should stop playing football with all of the injuries I get from it, and I've been hesitant, but... Sheepy: Gawain: You think I'm tall enough for basketball? Sheepy: Aru: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're tall, sure, but basketball players aren't usually THICK. Sheepy: Gawain: What else uses muscles? Arsé-kun: Kay: Why are you asking the math major? Sheepy: Gawain: I could ask the gym teacher but he might yell at me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wouldn't risk it. Sheepy: Gawain: Ehhh... What about the doctor? Maybe he'd know. Arsé-kun: Kay: More likely. Probably dealt with this crap before. Fidget-spinner face included. Sheepy: Gawain: Fidget spinner? Arsé-kun: Kay: Wilbur called 'im that. I can't see why but I ain't gonna ask. Sheepy: Gawain: I felt like a filing cabinet but I didn't actually see him I think. Sheepy: Gawain: Like he was looking through all of my thoughts and feelings. Arsé-kun: *Kay shudders* Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds AWFUL. Sheepy: Gawain: Ahaha, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Sheepy: Gawain: I didn't feel at all in control of my actions and everything was very hazy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Considering you'd never ever threaten someone with a knife? Yeah, I sure fuckin' hope you weren't. Sheepy: Gawain: That was pretty rude of me. Sorry about that! Arsé-kun: Kay: It's cool. He got beat up for it. Sheepy: Gawain: He seemed so upset about the whole deal. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're probably the one percent that isn't fuck-overable. Sheepy: Gawain: Huh. Sheepy: Aru: I wonder if he could use Caliburn for ill deeds if he possessed me. Sheepy: Aru: I don't really know what Caliburn can do. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hope not. He'd have a stupid taser sword and not much else of use. Sheepy: Aru: What if he possesses others and makes them touch Caliburn? Arsé-kun: Kay: Stupid fuck tasers himself! More at 11. Sheepy: Aru: Can he feel pain if he's in another person's body? Arsé-kun: Kay: *shrug emoji* Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Okay, I gotta be an asshole. Gawain, you're not mashing everything in sight? What is this witchcraft?? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I thought about doing it. Sheepy: Gawain: But mashed things aren't breakfast unless they're with things like bacon and vegetables. Sheepy: Gawain:...Of course, uh... Sheepy: Gawain: I haven't had bacon before, so I'm just repeating what I've heard. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Anyway, scoot over. I'm joining in, what are we doing? Sheepy: Bedi: I was considering pancakes and Gawain was here so it turned into potato pancakes. I'm not too familiar with cooking them, but they're simple enough. Arsé-kun: Kay: I never made those either, but they look like food. Sheepy: Bedi: Sour cream can be a dairy, and I made eggs on the side for a protein. Sheepy: Gawain: Agravain would opt for baking biscuits or cinnamon rolls instead and then claim they're store bought. He'd chase you out of the kitchen before you could see his cooking utensils. Arsé-kun: Kay: We've been knew. No shit Aggy doesn't buy store pastries. Sheepy: Aru: I miss Teacher's cooking... I wonder if he's having fun on his vacation in Bermuda. I hope so. Sheepy: Bedi: I've finished them. I need to wake Merlin for breakfast unless he's already awake. Sheepy: Bedi: I've finished them. I need to wake Merlin for breakfast unless he's already awake. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good fuckin' luck. Sheepy: *Bedi goes to wake Merlin.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin continues his best impression of a shag carpet.* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, please wake up. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...? Sheepy: Bedi: It's time for breakfast. Sheepy: Bedi: It'll get cold. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Awww... Already? Sheepy: Bedi: If you don't want it, someone else could eat it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm up, I'm up... *he slowly starts rolling over. the carpet is on the move* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm glad. Arsé-kun: *This may take a while* Sheepy: Bedi: In the meantime I'll head back to the kitchen. Sheepy: Bedi: By the way, Gawain is here, so if you don't hurry, he might eat your food too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Unlikely unless it's... *sniff, sniff* ... It's potato? Sheepy: Bedi: We made potato pancakes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then it is in danger..! *he moves a little faster. it is not much of an improvement* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I'll go and guard your portion. Arsé-kun: Merlin: please Sheepy: *Bedi returns to the kitchen* Arsé-kun: *Fou is Investigating the potato pancakes* Sheepy: Bedi: Fou, we have to leave some for Merlin. I wonder if it's safe for you to eat...? Arsé-kun: Fou: *sniff, sniff. back away. lean back in. sniff sniff. lick* Sheepy: Bedi:...Okay, that one's yours. I'll shift it onto a plate for you, but you can't have that very often, okay? *He cuts off a piece containing the area Fou licked and shifts it to a plate for Fou.* Arsé-kun: *Fou crouches down and licks it a few times before starting to munch. Fou approved* Sheepy: Elyan: *meow* Arsé-kun: *Fou looks up at Elyan before going back to pankakku* Arsé-kun: *Merlin does, in fact, eventually drag himself into the room for Food.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Merlin, you're up! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unlike popular opinion, I am in fact alive. ... Why does Fou have his own plate? Sheepy: Bedi: He was licking your pancake. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Sounds about right. Sheepy: Bedi: I wonder if he knew it was yours. Arsé-kun: *Fou does not care* Sheepy: *Elyan is sitting in Merlin's chair.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin stares at Elyan before sitting on the island. Fuck YOU goose* Sheepy: Elyan: *staaaaare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have to sit on the table. There is a bird in my chair. Sheepy: Bedi: I'd move the bird but it's a big bird. Arsé-kun: *background stock cartoon electrocution sound* Sheepy: Bedi:...What was that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: H-hewwo? Wat was dat??? -w-? Sheepy: *Grif comes in soon afterwards, looking tired* Arsé-kun: Kay: it lives! Sheepy: Elyan: *Very close but somewhat squeaky Merlin imitation* Hewwooo! Arsé-kun: *Merlin nearly spits his drink* Sheepy: Bedi: *this startles him as well* Arsé-kun: *Kay stares* Arsé-kun: Merlin: H HEWWO?? Sheepy: Elyan: *A slightly closer Merlin imitation* Hewwo!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hewwo?? Is anybowdy thewe?? owo Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwo! Hewwo!! Sheepy: Bedi: It... It's copying Merlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: HEWWO MIWSTAH OBAWMA Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwoooo Miwstah Obawma!!! Arsé-kun: *Merlin snorts and breaks out laughing* Sheepy: Grif: Awful. Horrible. He's learning from Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm glad that there's an animal that likes Merlin. Arsé-kun: Kay: That never happens. I expect the bird to start flirting with Bedi by next week. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah. That'll be problematic... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *trying to stop laughing* B-B... BIWRD UP! Sheepy: Elyan: Biwrd? Biwrd! Biwrd! Sheepy: Grif: Awful. Truly awful. Arsé-kun: Merlin: This is actually terrible. Sheepy: Grif: First Wil wakes me up by shocking me. Now this. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: *leaning out with Duncan under his arm like football* You weren't up and I was charged from investigating a magical artifact I was tasked with examining. It worked, so do not complain. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwoooo *A voice more similar to Grif's* Wil Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... ... Sheepy: Elyan: ........ Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Can we hard reset Cthaat? Sheepy: Grif: We need to. Sheepy: Grif: How do we do it? Arsé-kun: Duncan: *unhelpfully* Hewwo Cthaat! Sheepy: Elyan: Hewwo! Hewwo! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Hewwo! *honk* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It's spreading. Sheepy: Grif: No...! Sheepy: Grif: What if Elyan becomes like Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I doubt he'll go too far if he doesn't wanna be a failure! Sheepy: Grif: I wonder if he has any concept of failures. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, you're not... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I know. I'm jus- Arsé-kun: *Fou honks* Sheepy: Bedi: ?! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Kay: They're evolving. Sheepy: Grif: Not in a good way. Arsé-kun: Kay: Being able to communicate is bad? Sheepy: Grif: What if he becomes a flirt? Arsé-kun: Kay: Then he is threatened with the prospect of being christmas dinner. Sheepy: Elyan: ...threat! Sheepy: Bedi: By the way, who's...? Sheepy: Grif: My older brothers. Sheepy: *Grif picks up Elyan and sits down* Arsé-kun: Kay: Wait, so that's the infamous troublemaker you have to babysit? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: But he's OLDER than you?? Sheepy: Grif: Duncan, we can share breakfast. Arsé-kun: Duncan: What is it? Is it good? *he clambers up onto Grif and thinks for a moment* Yes, I'm older! I'm... *calculating. calculating* Sheepy: Grif: It looks like pancakes but smells like potatoes. There's also eggs. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I'm a hundred and seven! I'm very old! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I'm only around 20. Very young compared to him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ordinarily I'd doubt this, but it's you saying it... Sheepy: Grif: He looks young for his age. Sheepy: Grif: Do you like it? Arsé-kun: Duncan: It's not beef! I like it! Sheepy: Grif: Great. Sheepy: Elyan: *squeaky voice* beef! Arsé-kun: Duncan: No! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Don't honk at me, little duck! Arsé-kun: Duncan: Oh yeah! Wil was tryin' to touch the sword! Said he was told to look at it. But it kept making the big sparky-sparky shock-shocks! It was cool! *he pauses for pancake.* I wanna shock people that touch me too. Sheepy: Aru: Caliburn shocked him... Sheepy: Grif: But if you shocked anyone who touches you, wouldn't you shock Wil and me? Arsé-kun: Duncan: Mayyybe! Some times I dun wanna be touched! Sheepy: Grif: I see. I can relate. Sheepy: Grif: I, too, often hate to be touched. Doctors... are evil. Sheepy: Aru: I should ask him if he's come up with anything. Sheepy: Aru:......I'll check on him! Sheepy: *Aru goes to check on Wil* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur is still examining Caliburn carefully, bent over it on the floor. There is a tentacle from... Somewhere, poking at the hilt every so often. More importantly, due to HOW Wilbur is bent over, Aru can see not his rear thankfully but two grey bumps and a lil brown goat tail. This man has a tail.* Sheepy: Aru: *While somewhat surprised, she decides it'd be rude to comment on it.* Have you figured anything out? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Possibly. There certainly is something within this, but I do not believe it is the cause of the constant electrocutions. Sheepy: Aru: That's because you haven't been chosen by it, I think. Sheepy: Aru: What's in it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I want to hypothesize that it is a spirit. It does not act at all, so it is a little hard to judge. Sheepy: Aru:...Maybe it's asleep? Sheepy: Aru: But ghosts don't need to sleep. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Perhaps. It may be dormant. Sheepy: Aru: Do you know how to wake up ghosts? Sheepy: Aru: Teacher banned me from ouija boards. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That was my primary suggestion. That, or repeatedly invoking the name of the spirit. heepy: Aru: I don't know its name. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Then we have a problem. Sheepy: Aru: But my guess would be a previous owner... Sheepy: Aru: But presumably there's been many owners of it since King Arthur passed. So I'd have to figure out every previous owner and repeatedly name them while looking for a response. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe Teacher wouldn't notice if I used a ouija board just a bit. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Perhaps. Perhaps not. And I do not recommend it unless you want to be possessed yourself. Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... I don't think I do. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe I could taunt it until it came out. ..But I want to be on good terms with it!! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Then I think it would be up to you. Sheepy: Aru: I have to look through so many names... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Start basic, I suppose. Sheepy: Aru: Basic... Sheepy: Aru: Teacher seems to be close to whoever is in it, and they probably wielded it in the past, so maybe I should start with the simplest guess, "King Arthur". ...Or maybe just "Arthur"? Maybe he would be shy being called a king. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... Small reaction. Shock pattern was briefly disrupted. Sometimes being basic really is all one needs. Sheepy: Aru: It's... It's King Arthur? THE King Arthur?! What if I've already been embarrassing towards him by telling him about my day every day?! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It is possible you were not heard at all. ... It is also possible everything was heard but not understood. Sheepy: Aru: Oh no... So maybe he thinks I've been ignoring him this whole time...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... They are dormant. That is, unacting. Sheepy: Aru: But maybe that'd scare him... Sheepy: Aru: I have to take the risk! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Have fun, then. I would not like to be involved in that process. Sheepy: Aru: Right! Thank you so much! I'm finally close to an answer! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: But of course. I was very curious as well. *He starts to get up, and finally realizes that OOPS! His tail and tentacle were in plain sight the entire time. He makes a very sheepish face as he tucks both back away. oops. oops! oopsies!!* Sheepy: Aru: It's okay. I won't tell anyone. Sheepy: Aru: But I'll tell Grif if Arthur wakes up so he can tell you. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is... Appreciated. *still embarrassed, though* Sheepy: Aru: Hopefully it'll work out. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Just be careful. Arsé-kun: *Wilbur exits the room without waiting for a reply* Sheepy: Bedi: -- We have Dio today, don't we? It's not that I dread his class, but... It's lacking in, what's the word... Arsé-kun: Kay: Structure? Sheepy: Bedi: That's it. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least he ain't boring. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Arsé-kun: Kay: What I wanna know is how he got a whole ass robot! Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe he made it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Pfff. Nah. Sheepy: Bedi: I worry that he'll think he assigned homework he didn't and then grade us all down for not doing it. Sheepy: Bedi:...Although that seems like more work than he'd be willing to put in. Arsé-kun: Kay: It is. You think he works? You think this man, who comes to a student for money calculations, has ever done a day of work in his life? Sheepy: Bedi: No, I really don't think he has. ...Why is he working as a professor? Sheepy: Bedi: He makes his own wine, doesn't he? Why doesn't he take a full time job in that? Arsé-kun: Kay: Cause he's stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: That seems like a reasonable answer. Maybe he wants the extra money. Sheepy: Bedi: It's a mystery. Arsé-kun: Kay: Or we could just ask. Sheepy: Bedi: Good idea. Arsé-kun: Kay: But like. After class. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Sheepy: Grif: What does he teach? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's supposed to teach theater, and about plays. He.. doesn't. Sheepy: Grif: Awful. I'll whip him into shape. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't. Sheepy: Grif: But he's not doing his job. Horrible. Awful! Sheepy: Grif: You're paying for the education, right? So you should get it. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're security, not the dean. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... I can't forget that that's my job. Sheepy: Grif: But doesn't it make you angry? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's annoying, but his robot teaches fine. Sheepy: Grif: Why don't they just hire the robot then? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because laws are stupid sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: I have heard Lucan is studying it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh? He's a culinary student. Bedi, control your brother. Sheepy: Bedi: It doesn't surprise me... Sheepy: Bedi: There's something ironic about someone as, um... resilient to helping others as him having an interest in buttling. Sheepy: Bedi: But I'll talk to him about doing too much. Arsé-kun: *merlin smirks in the bg. haha. buttling* Sheepy: Grif: Paimon, define buttling. Arsé-kun: Yog: Verb. to work as a butler. Sheepy: Grif: I understand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe he wants to be the Alfred to someone's Batman. Sheepy: Bedi: He'd fit the role well. Sheepy: Grif: What's a batman? Arsé-kun: *Yog sighs and deals with explaining That* Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif:...He dresses as a bat because he wants revenge? Arsé-kun: Yog: It is meant to be symbolic, but it is quite silly. Sheepy: Grif: If I wanted revenge, I simply wouldn't dress. Arsé-kun: *Kay has to stop what he's doing to turn and stare at Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Nothing would be more terrifying than a naked angry man running at you with a sword. Clearly, he has no fear of taking damage. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cover him in you-know-what and I'll agree. It doesn't need to be his. Sheepy: Grif: I see. A bloodbath. Sheepy: Grif: It's what vampires take in order to clean themselves. Sheepy: Grif:.... Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: Ha. Sheepy: Bedi: I can't tell when you're being serious or when you're joking... Arsé-kun: Duncan: If he laughs, it's a joke! Sheepy: Bedi: If he doesn't, I just get to worry. Sheepy: Grif: Why would a superhero hide their identity? Sheepy: Grif: Batman hides himself behind a bat suit. Sheepy: Grif: It seems cowardly. Arsé-kun: Yog: So he is not bothered during his day life. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: But crime comes out at all times of day. Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna ding-dong ditch Gawain at his dorm, and then I'm going to class. I don't care what the rest of you do until then. Tristan's in my class anyway, so he'll have to come out. Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Have fun. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll consider it. Sheepy: Bedi: I have a bad feeling about today. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't. Sheepy: Gawain: Yeah, I bet everyone's worried about me anyway, so I should head home! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Group trip! Sheepy: *Gawain gets ready ro head home!* Arsé-kun: *Kay gets ready to drag him back home, and also for class. Merlin takes his sweet-ass time.* Sheepy: *Bedi gets ready quickly.* Sheepy: *The group eventually heads to class!* Arsé-kun: *After dumping Gawain onto the Lot/Lance pair, ofc. And grabbing Tristan bc why not* Sheepy: *Unfortunately, Bedi's bad feeling could be considered accurate to some. Upon entering the classroom, they're presented with the projector already being on. Now on the big screen: Sherlock Gnomes! Dio is watching it while lying on four of the desks, eating grapes. He seems absorbed in it and completely unaware anyone has entered.* Arsé-kun: *Orpheus is in his usual spot, propped up next to a filing cabinet by the whiteboard. He does not appear to approve highly of the situation* Sheepy: Dio: if Romeo and Juliet was anything like this, William Shakespeare would've been thrown into the dungeons for sure. Arsé-kun: Orpheus: If Romeo and Juliet was anything like this, we'd be in a dark timeline. Sheepy: Dio: The true victim here is the poor detective who had the misfortune of this being based on him. Arsé-kun: Orph: That had several implications. Sheepy: Dio: Well, Sherlock Gnomes is based on Sherlock Holmes, isn't it? Dr. Watson's stories. Sheepy: Dio: But maybe from the royalties, he and Dr. Watson are rolling in cash. Hey, hey. They should make a movie about us so we can profit off of it! Arsé-kun: Orph: You continue to suggest things with deep implications, and in front of students, no less. Sheepy: Dio: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck is this Sheepy: Dio: The sequel to the play I hope you all read your assigned parts of. Sheepy: Dio: Gnomeo and Juliet 2: Sherlock Gnomes. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, we should just watch this for class. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd rather vomit. Pass. Sheepy: Dio: Most kids would jump at the opportunity to watch this. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, you know William Shakespeare? Sheepy: Dio: Alright guy. Good with language. Had a record of stealing stories from previous sources. But you know why he was never knighted? Arsé-kun: Orph: Because he knew you. Sheepy: Dio: The queen hated his plays. Arsé-kun: Orph: ... Are you kids the only ones here so far? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Orph: I am considering doing something forbidden. Sheepy: Bedi: Forbidden? Arsé-kun: Orph: .... Do you know what though? I think I'm going to do, the thing I want to. ... Ehh. I could have done better. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: *Orpheus double checks, and then gets up and strides over to Dio with the intent to end the current situation. this bot can Move.* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Arsé-kun: Orph: Turn that movie off before I put you in a coffin for the rest of the evening. Arsé-kun: *background Merlin does an OWO* Sheepy: Dio: Why? Arsé-kun: Orph: Students will be coming in, and I'd like to actually teach. Sheepy: Dio: Ugh, fine. *he turns it off* It was getting to the least bad part, too. *he gets off the desks and sits in his usual seat* I'll just write instead. Sheepy: Bedi: But... but what about teaching? Arsé-kun: Orph: Thank you kindly. *he goes back to his spot as well, and settles back in* I have it under control for today's session. Sheepy: Dio: I'd rather work on this play. I've been having writer's block but I feel motivation rising within me thanks to this movie. Arsé-kun: Orph: By doing nothing that you saw? Or doing better? Sheepy: Dio: Yes. Arsé-kun: Orph: Good luck. I will proofread it later tonight for you. Sheepy: Dio: Two heads are better than one here! Arsé-kun: Orph: They usually are in general. Sheepy: Dio: Not for guillotines. They can generally only fit one head at a time. Arsé-kun: Orph: ... ... I dislike this joke. I firmly hate this joke. Cut your own head off. Sheepy: Dio: Eh?! But it's got a pretty face attached to it, doesn't it?! Arsé-kun: Orph: That didn't stop.... ... *he trails off* ... But let us not go there. Sheepy: *Tristan, for once, has his eyes open. He seems focused on Orpheus.* Arsé-kun: Orph: Tell me I look nice and I'll forgive you for that joke. Sheepy: Dio: Okay, you look nice! Arsé-kun: Orph: Thank you. Sheepy: Tristan: To think, even one such as yourself is covered in such ugliness... How could I see your beauty when it is so marred? How sad, how sad! This world, so full of despair! *he strums his harp. Tristan, put that away!* But you... *he shifts his gaze to Dio* You are worse. You are so perfect, your ugliness barely noticable. And then, just as one finds a small thread upon their new shirt...! Oh, how sad! How sad! Right upon your heart! Truly, you're the most deceitful of them all! Sheepy: Dio:....Uhuh. Hey, that gives me an idea for a line in this play! Thanks! Arsé-kun: *Orpheus looks offended. Bitch, WHERE?* Arsé-kun: Kay: what the fuck are you talking about Sheepy: Tristan: You question this? The source of your ugliness... is here. *he puts his hand on his throat* Arsé-kun: *Orpheus only looks MORE offended now. Good work, Tristan.* Sheepy: *Tristan, unfortunately, doesn't seem too bothered by it.* Arsé-kun: Orph: Pardon me. I'm going to briefly break character as a teacher. *brief pause* Excuse me, what the actual fuck does that mean? Sheepy: Tristan: It's... *he closes his eyes, mulling over an explanation* Red. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, I've got an awful feeling about this. Arsé-kun: Orph: Stay after class, please. I'd like to understand exactly what you're referring to, but not put it out into public. Sheepy: Tristan: I see. I will. Sheepy: *Tristan returns to his seat.* Sheepy: *Bedi shoots Tristan an awkward glance.* Arsé-kun: *so does kay* Sheepy: Tristan: My apologies. It took me by surprise. Arsé-kun: *Kay just sighs* Arsé-kun: *Merlin has ignored the situation in favor of bum rushing the homework* Sheepy: Bedi: Tristan, you can't just say things like that. Sheepy: Tristan: Hm... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Like what? Huh? Did he call someone a bitch? Sheepy: Bedi: He called Mr. Dio and Orpheus ugly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, like us? Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, how sad. Everything is ugly. What is beauty when it can't... Whatever he does. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... I understand now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, he even said it about you, that's why I know it's full of shit. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? I suppose so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That was a flirt. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh. I didn't notice. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's bs because see, I specified you in this, my man, hot boy hot man, *etc* Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. I appreciate it. Sheepy: Dio:....Ouch. Arsé-kun: Orph: Stop thinking so hard. You might give yourself an aneurism. Sheepy: Dio: Who, me? Arsé-kun: Orph: Would I insult students openly? No. No I would not. Sheepy: Dio: Hey, I was saying ouch because of the flirting being ignored, not from me thinking. Arsé-kun: Orph: Oh, so you used your Empathy™ for once. Sheepy: Dio: You mean I don't normally? Sheepy: Dio: Think of the empathy I show with how easily I grade the students. Arsé-kun: Orph: .... Yes, and it hurts me. Arsé-kun: *other students start to trickle in fifteen minutes before class starts. yaaaay.* Arsé-kun: Garry: ---Forced me to witness the miracle of life for snails, but you know, it wasn't gym class. Sheepy: Toa: Is gym class worse? Arsé-kun: Garry: Considering that I'd rather share your condition than go? Sheepy: Toa: It's bad. Arsé-kun: Garry: I'm going to melt into a puddle and perish one of these days from gym class. Sheepy: Toa: Maybe I'm lucky after all... Arsé-kun: Orph: ... Okay, we're close enough to 2 pm. Bring up the homework. Sheepy: *Bedi brings up his HW! Tristan doesn't.* Arsé-kun: *Kay grabs it for him and then brings up his own. yaaay.* Sheepy: *Good idea, Kay! Tristan's head is beginning to droop a bit.* Sheepy: *Dio, for once, doesn't seem interested in goofing off during the class, and instead seems anxious. Could it be due to writer's block or something else?* Sheepy: Bedi: We aren't covering that gnomes thing today, are we...? Arsé-kun: Orph: No. Absolutely not. That was Dio entertaining himself with bad media. Arsé-kun: Orph: We will be continuing from where we left off, so starting the final act of the play. Arsé-kun: *MEANWHILE, in a dorm we have not been to yet!* Sheepy: Gawain: I’m fine, I’m fine! I’m just thinking. Arsé-kun: Lot: If you’re thinking, you’re clearly not fine.. Sheepy: Gawain: It’s a long story. Sheepy: Gawain: But at the end of the day, the conclusion I came up with was that I’m probably going to drop out of football and look for something else. Arsé-kun: Lot: Color me impressed. But then what are you going to do? Sheepy: Gawain: Cook? Arsé-kun: Lot: Man can't live off potatoes alone. Sheepy: Gawain: I’m sure they can! Arsé-kun: Lot: Regardless, would you like to share how you came to this conclusion finally? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I got possessed and forced to shove people into lockers. Arsé-kun: Lot: you what Sheepy: Gawain: By the janitor. Arsé-kun: Lot: That makes a little more sense maybe, but still?? Sheepy: Gawain: It felt my houghts were being rifled through like a filing cabinet. Sheepy: Gawain: Everything I know, everything I feel... That janitor knows it now. Arsé-kun: *Lot looks mortified and rightfully so* Sheepy: Gawain: I realized that so far, my body's just been used to hurt and entertain others. When I'm not being injured in a game, I'm potentially hurting someone else. Not one person in those stands could care about that. I'd rather use my body to help others. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... One of these days, you'll realize your brain is also important. *he sighs* But you still get why we have kept insisting on it as well, yeah? Sheepy: Gawain: With my brain, I can do more things? Arsé-kun: Lot: ..... You were just using it, too. Sheepy: Gawain: That wasn't the answer?! Arsé-kun: Lot: You can't use your body at all without a brain running it. Sheepy: Gawain: How can I build it? Sheepy: Gawain: It's a muscle too, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Lot: I mean, yeah? Just use it more? Do I look like a psychologist to you? Sheepy: Gawain: But I'm constantly using it. Sheepy: Gawain:...Hey, I bet the gym teacher would know. Sheepy: Gawain: But I'm constantly using it. Sheepy: Gawain:...Hey, I bet the gym teacher would know. Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not helping you with that. Sheepy: Gawain: Why not? Won't you support me? Arsé-kun: Lot: I'm not going near that. I don't want to run three miles because I was nearby. Sheepy: Gawain: Riiiight... Well, I'll go myself, then. Arsé-kun: Lot: Good luck. You'll need it. Sheepy: Gawain: Thanks, I'll do my best to survive. Arsé-kun: *Lance has been sitting quietly in the back, listening to all this. At some point he picked up a cleaning rag and a dirty old pipe, and has started cleaning it off. The menacing aura is included.* Sheepy: *Gawain gives Lance a confused look* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... The janitor, you said? Sheepy: Gawain: Yes, why? Arsé-kun: Lance: I just wanted to make sure. Sheepy: Gawain: Right. Be careful around him. He's scary. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... I thought you didn't enjoy being a delinquent? Arsé-kun: Lance: I didn't. I'm not going to now, either. Sheepy: Gawain:....? Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... Don't worry 'bout it. Sheepy: Gawain: Well, sounds good to me! Sheepy: *Gawain goes to talkto the gym teacher!* Sheepy: Gawain: Are you busy? Arsé-kun: Demonee-Ho: *slowly glances back, taking a cig out of his mouth. he looks unhappy* That will depend on the next words out of your mouth, whelp. Sheepy: Gawain: Well, I'm going to drop out of football and, well, I know this is something one would usually ask an advisor, but I'm not really sure where to go from here. Sheepy: *Gawain has a sheepish grin on his face...* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: ... *he looks judgy* Are you serious, ho? Sheepy: Gawain: I am. Sheepy: Gawain: I realized that I wasn't just injuring myself, but I was also causing damage to others. I'd rather put my body to a use where I can help others. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: .... ... *he looks angry for a moment, and..* ... About damn time. I can finally put in that fucking paperwork. I've been sitting on it for goddamn months, you know. Sheepy: Gawain:...What? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Consider yourself honorably discharged! That's the most honor you're going to get though, you goddamn golden retriever-looking mop. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh?! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: And do I LOOK like a guidance councilor to you?? Sheepy: Gawain: Well, no, but I just thought you'd have an idea or two. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I most certainly fucking don't. As far as I'm aware, your entire personality is a near-exact copy of a potato, and so is your brain. Maybe do something about that. Sheepy: Gawain: I've wanted to. Sheepy: Gawain: It's difficult for me to retain things, so it's hard to do well in class. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Tell the shit guidance to let you take time off. Your dumb potato brain needs it, stupid. Sheepy: Gawain: Right, good idea! Thanks! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: If you tell anyone I was nice, you'll be running double laps. Sheepy: Gawain: I won't tell a soul!! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Great! Now get the fuck outta here! Scram! Don't get beat up on the way out! Sheepy: Satoru, holding a bug: Is that your hobby? I saw you get beat up yesterday by Guin. Sheepy: Gawain: Is that the sort of reputation I have?! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: No, I can't say what your reputation is now. Sheepy: Gawain:?! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: *he bends down to Satoru's level* And what are you doing here alone, Private? Sheepy: Satoru: *he holds up the ladybug* This is a ladybug. It's like a beetle. Do you know why they sometimes smell bad? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Because they don't shower. Sheepy: Satoru: When they feel fear, they release traces of blood into the air. The smell is their blood. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Oh, so they'd attract every shark in a five mile radius because they blood sharted. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. If sharks could go on land. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Ghost sharks. Sheepy: Satoru: A ghost shark could outrun anyone. Sheepy: Satoru: Even me. Sheepy: Satoru: Even you. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Now, I don't know about that, ho. Sheepy: Satoru: How fast can you run? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: At least ten. Sheepy: Satoru: A shark can swim so fast, but if a ghost shark bit me, it would die on the spot. Ghosts are allergic to salt and the body contains salt. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Blood is salty. Sheepy: Satoru: I've heard you're salty, too. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Damn right. Sheepy: Satoru: You're extra resistant to ghosts. Sheepy: *Gawain is shocked by the interaction he's watching unfold in front of him...* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: ..... And what the fuck are you still here for, you concussion fetishist?! Sheepy: Gawain: Well, it's just...! Sheepy: Gawain: I expected you to yell at him like you yell at everyone else. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I'm not going to curse out a child, retard. Sheepy: Satoru: Mom would enact revenge if he was mean to me. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh...?! A jock Gordon Ramsey... Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Get out of here before I chase you around the entire campus! Sheepy: Gawain: R-right!! *he runs off* Sheepy: *Gawain returns home, having run all the way back.* Arsé-kun: Lot: You're back already? That was rather fast. He didn't make you do several laps? Sheepy: Gawain: I ran before he could. Sheepy: Gawain: I watched him talk to a child. It was scary... Sheepy: Gawain: He was actually nice. Arsé-kun: Lot: That's terrifying. Sheepy: Gawain: It was! Arsé-kun: Lot: Now I'm burdened with the knowledge that he is capable of being a decent person, and I absolutely cannot use it. Sheepy: Gawain: He simply chooses to be evil. Arsé-kun: Lot: But are you out of sports? Sheepy: Gawain: I am. Sheepy: Gawain: At least for now. Arsé-kun: Lot: Thank goodness. No more concussions for you, playboy. Sheepy: Gawain: I'm sure I could pick them up other places! Arsé-kun: Lot: You can't just pick up a concussion at a dollar store! Sheepy: Gawain: If you tried hard enough you could. Sheepy: Gawain: Not that I'd want to! Arsé-kun: Lot: Honestly, I don't trust you in any easy-contact enviroment anymore. Sheepy: Gawain: Even here? Arsé-kun: Lot: Absolutely. Sheepy: Gawain: You'd give me a concussion?! Arsé-kun: Lot: No! Arsé-kun: Lance: No, but *he comes in the door* I'll take requests while I'm at it. Sheepy: Gawain: Isn't that illegal? Arsé-kun: Lance: Only if you get caught. Do you think bleach will get this out of my sweater? *he pulls down his sweater to show up big black blotches on it. what a mess* Sheepy: Gawain: Uh... What is that? Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea. Sheepy: Gawain: Where did it come from? Arsé-kun: Lance: The janitor. Sheepy: Gawain:...? Maybe it's oil? Arsé-kun: Lance: He's made of oil? Sheepy: Gawain: ?! Y-you...?! But that's...! Arsé-kun: Lance: He deserved it. Sheepy: Gawain: Isn't justice better dealt by someone who's supposed to deal it? Sheepy: Gawain: And anyway, whatever that is could be poisonous! Arsé-kun: Lance: *he shrugs* If it is, then I deserved it. Sheepy: Gawain: No! You should go and get help, just in case! Arsé-kun: Lance: And admit I beat up the janitor for possessing my friend? Uh... N-no. Sheepy: Gawain:...Good point. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm gonna go steal the shower. If it's not gone after, then I'll consider it. Sheepy: Gawain: Uh, good luck. Arsé-kun: Lot: Don't die. Sheepy: Gawain: Why would I?! Arsé-kun: Lot: Not you! Arsé-kun: *Lance just rolls his eyes, drops his pipe in the sink and leaves. bye lance* Sheepy: Gawain: Not yet, anyway! Arsé-kun: Lot: What is THAT supposed to mean?! Sheepy: Gawain: Well, everyone does eventually. Sheepy: Tristan: *somewhere along the way he entered very quietly. How long has he been there, watching? Scary.* Your face is obscured with death. How ugly it is. Sheepy: Gawain: Ouch! Arsé-kun: Lot: Welcome back. You survived class again. Sheepy: Tristan: How cruel, how cruel! I must tell you of my discovery! Ohhh...! Nothing in this world is perfect! It is all tainted with death! How sad, how sad! *sob, harp strum* Sheepy: Gawain: Did Romeo and Juliet die? I thought that was common knowledge. Arsé-kun: Lot: What happened, Tris? Sheepy: Tristan: The robot...! Covered in death! Right at his throat! Sheepy: Tristan: But robots are not alive! So why?! Arsé-kun: Lot: Maybe they are. Sheepy: Tristan: Why open my eyes expecting to take in the sight of life? I gaze upon the threads of fate and feel my fingers twitch... What tune do they play? Ah...! *strums harp* Truly, the world is but an instrument, awaiting its song to be played, for the cheers, for the desire of a chorus... only to fade into nothingness. Forgotten, as though those notes never were played to begin with. *he strums his harp* Sheepy: Gawain: Man. I really felt that. *Gawain did not feel nor understand that.* Arsé-kun: Lot: Wow. Profound. *Lot is taking notes* Sheepy: Tristan: If I plucked them... what would it feel like? Arsé-kun: Lot: Probably bad. Sheepy: Tristan: ... *he slowly opens his eyes, looking to Lot and then Gawain* Sheepy: Tristan: If I just plucked them a little... Could I see your face? Arsé-kun: *Lot crosses his arms to cover his chest* Sheepy: Gawain:...? Sheepy: Gawain: Hey, am I missing something? Arsé-kun: Lot: Yes. You're about to experience a discomfort. Sheepy: *Tristan reaches for one if Gawain's death lines and plucks it.* Sheepy: *It produces a haunting sound.* Arsé-kun: Lot: Eugh! Don't like that! Sheepy: Gawain: Khhh...! Wh-what was that...feeling?! Sheepy: Tristan: So that's how yours sounds. Sheepy: Tristan: How horrible. *he closes his eyes and strums his harp* What horrible threads you have. Arsé-kun: Lot: The only ones that sound good are from your harp! Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...! You like my music? Oh, how wonderful! This brings me joy! *he puts his harp to the side and gently grasps Lot's hands. He seems excited!* Wonderful! Arsé-kun: *Lot slightly turns red. o///o* Sheepy: Gawain:...? Sheepy: Gawain: How much did I miss when I was possessed? Arsé-kun: Lot: Uh? We only watched a movie when you were out.. Sheepy: Gawain: No, no, that's not what I meant! Clearly, you found a date during operation chick hunt! Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: Hah. Of course. When you're looking for beauty, I am right here. Arsé-kun: Lot: Does that really count, though..? Arsé-kun: Lot: ... It doesn't count because the rules require it to be started on that day. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh?! Sheepy: Gawain: So... how long? Sheepy: Tristan: Down half of my back. I grew it myself. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Tris, you can stop dodging it now. I think he figured it out. Sheepy: Tristan: How unfortunate. I was hoping to toy with him more. Arsé-kun: Lot: It's been about a month. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh? So not too long. Sheepy: Gawain: Although, longer than all of my relationships. Sheepy: Tristan: It is the torment of mutual pining, building up to a beautiful relationship. Sheepy: Gawain:...I can't tell if you're rambling or serious. Arsé-kun: Lot: I have no idea what he means either. Sheepy: Tristan: It's a term that means both parties pined for each other before finally hooking up. Sheepy: Tristan: It's an important factor of slow burn. Arsé-kun: *Confused math lady face by Lot* Sheepy: Tristan: You haven't read such fiction before? Sheepy: Tristan: How to explain... Sheepy: Tristan: It is when you are in love with someone for a long time and they are in love with you, but both fear rejection so they refuse to ask the other out for the longest of times. Arsé-kun: Lot: Oh, so the opposite of Gawain. Sheepy: Gawain: Hey! I just assume people will be accepting even if they reject me! Sheepy: Tristan: Could it be... Sheepy: Tristan: It wasn't...? Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! I assumed we both had been pining for the other... Sheepy: Tristan:...But now I've just embarrassed myself. Arsé-kun: *Lot looks elsewhere* Sheepy: Gawain: I wonder how I never noticed.. Arsé-kun: Lot: We made efforts not to show it around you. I thought it would be too weird, since I did go out with you that one time. Sheepy: Gawain: Nah, it's not weird. Your relationships aren't really my business. Why would I think it's weird? Arsé-kun: Lot: uh Sheepy: Gawain: I noticed that Tristan's wingmanning seemed a bit off, but I just thought he wasn't warmed up yet. Arsé-kun: Lot: I was genuinely nervous though. Sheepy: Gawain: Eh? Sheepy: Gawain: Just because we went out once doesn't mean we can't date other people. ...Although it really feels like my dates never go the way I want them. Arsé-kun: Lot: Well, she was tall and attractive. You were on the money, technically.... Sheepy: Gawain: She's basically already asked Lance out, hasn't she? By telling him to fight her later when he's recovered. Sheepy: Gawain: Anyway, I'd rather a girl who doesn't beat me up. Arsé-kun: Lot: Understandable, and also I feel like it was a date offer. I just hope his dabbling back into delinquency isn't his attempt to look cool for her. Sheepy: Gawain: So she's a bad influence... Arsé-kun: Lot: That is not what I said. Sheepy: Gawain: But it he's influencing her to pick up delinquency again... Arsé-kun: Lance: ... What? Sheepy: Gawain: Oh, you're back. Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea what you're talking about... I just wanted to commit harm on a squid. Sheepy: Gawain: So it wasn't the girl from yesterday? Arsé-kun: Lance: No?? Sheepy: Gawain: It's not to impress her even though she was asking you out? Arsé-kun: Lance: No???? Sheepy: Gawain: Are you going to take her up on it? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yeah, probably. I need to get the practice in when I can. Sheepy: Gawain: Uhuh. Okay. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... What? Sheepy: Gawain: I just thought she'd be your type. Arsé-kun: Lance: Type of...? *and then it clicks. he hides his face in his sleeves* No!! Sheepy: Gawain: What? She isn't? Arsé-kun: Lance: She's very pretty but I wasn't even thinking about that! Sheepy: Gawain: Now you are! Arsé-kun: Lot: *from the background* NOW you're thinking with portals! Sheepy: Gawain: And she asked you out! You've really got a chance with her! Arsé-kun: Lance: I thought you guys were kidding when you said I had a score..! Sheepy: Gawain: No! She asked you out! Arsé-kun: Lance: Could you... Uh, pardon me for a bit. *he exits stage left* Sheepy: Gawain:...? Arsé-kun: *Lance can then be heard screaming into a pillow. me too man me too* Sheepy: Gawain:?! He didn't notice?! Arsé-kun: Lot: He thought we were kidding, apparently. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... So let me put this *gestures to Tristan, who is still basically on him* down and then lets figure out how to deal with this situation. Sheepy: Gawain: Right. Sheepy: *Tristan is fast asleep. How does he do it?* Arsé-kun: *raw unbridled talent* Arsé-kun: *We now skip to later that night, in a different location.* Sheepy: *Grif is proud of himself!* Arsé-kun: Kay: What'd you shred today? Sheepy: Grif: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what'd you do, moron? Sheepy: Grif: I accomplished something big. Behold. *he takes out a paper with text he wrote. It's sloppy and hard to read.* Arsé-kun: Kay: *he squints* ... You wrote my name? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I spelled it right, didn't I? Arsé-kun: Kay: You did. You did something decent. Hell yeah. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I am proud of this. Sheepy: Grif: I knew how to spell it because you told me how when we first met. Sheepy: Grif: Everyone else... I struggled and wrote it as it sounds to me. Arsé-kun: Kay: You bothered to remember that..? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. Why would you tell me it upon a first meeting if it weren't important? Arsé-kun: Kay: You got me there. Arsé-kun: *Bond up. No fanfare, though. No pop-up. Yog's taking the night off, I guess* Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Arsé-kun: *There is a Quest Marker next to Merlin, who has been sitting that that window for a while now.* Sheepy: Grif: What is your quest? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was waiting for you to come over here. *Something seems off about his tone..* As much as I would like to dodge your question, I cannot. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. It's you. Arsé-kun: Kay: what the FUCK do you mean "it's you"?! Is this not Merlin the dick wizard?? Sheepy: Bedi: *he pokes his head in* Did something happen to Merlin?! Sheepy: Grif: Of course it's not. Everyone knows Merlin couldn't sound like a serious wizard if he tried. It must be Primo. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: ... This is awkward! But yes, come in, you need to hear this as well. I'm going to be blunt for the next three minutes and those minutes only. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: I didn't want to do this. This is downright cruel, but it was either I hijack the hijacking, or the slug wins. The Fourteenth was too vulnerable to it. But right, yes, the problem at hand. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Gla'aki is making a move. You understand, yes? Sheepy: Grif: I will deal with him. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Not so fast. You're security, not a merc. My job for you is to make sure the slug fails. Sheepy: Aru: *she looks in sleepily, clearly having been woken by the previous exclamations* I heard Teacher. Did he call because I figured out Mr. Ghost's name? Sheepy: Grif: I'll do that. Do I just leave Glaaki alone other than that? Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: One- Good work, Aru. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Two- After you prevent Gla'aki from taking victims, do as you like! I can't stop you! This connection is on the fritz as it is and the Fourteenth is not happy with my intrusion! Sheepy: Grif: He can suffer. Do I go arouns the campus checking for victims, or do I use them to track him down before rescuing them? Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: They'll all be going one direction- to Gla'aki. I daresay they'd all prefer not going too far. Sheepy: Grif: I see. So stop them. Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: Yes. But okay, time's up! *he fingerguns to Bedi* Sorry I stole your wizard, the slug was gonna take him if I didn't pop in! Sheepy: Bedi: Eh? Sheepy: Bedi: He doesn't get enough salt in his diet, does he... Arsé-kun: P!Merlin: He doesn't! Okay, hasta la b-- Arsé-kun: Merlin: --FUCK THAT- oh shit. Oh. Okay, that happened. Sheepy: Aru: Wow! You really are a descendent of Merlin! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Me feeling like I got tumble dry low'd aside, what the hell? Grif, what's a Glaaki and should we team effort this? Sheepy: Grif: A slug. He likes having minions. He controls dead bodies until they're no longer usable. Like puppets. Sheepy: Grif: It seems he wants more so he's kidnapping students by mind controlling them. Arsé-kun: Kay: So we're getting a goddamn move on now? *he already got his gear* Like, right now? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I am ready. We have to rush. Sheepy: *Bedi appears conflicted.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: The faster we are, the less likely anyone can go off! Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Aru: I could help! Arsé-kun: Kay: HELL NO Sheepy: Aru: Eh? But I have an actual weapon. I know how to use it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Tch. Grif, your call. Sheepy: Grif: I don't care that much. I'd rather just go now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure, fine, whatever, no one leave campus though until we're done! Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay! Lets actually go! Arsé-kun: *Outside, there are a lot of people. Most are wandering towards the southern exit, some more cognizant than others. A few people are trying to stop them, but it isn't going too well.* Sheepy: Grif: *he rushes towards the group and attempts stopping them* Sheepy: Grif: Did any go ahead of them? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't think so! I'll go make a barrier for you! Sheepy: Grif: Thank you! Arsé-kun: *Merlin teleports to the southern exit. No one has reached it yet!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *Merlin proceeds to slam his staff on the ground. His flowers sprout everywhere, and a crystal barrier erupts from the ground to cover the exit!* Sheepy: Grif: Good job! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks... I think I need to take a nap now... *he drops down onto the ground, right onto his ass.* Sheepy: *Grif continues on his quest to Stop People* Arsé-kun: *Kay is doing the same thing, but isn't making much progress* Arsé-kun: Kay: How do we actually stop 'em?! Sheepy: Grif: I can stop the source. ... Uh, but... No, I can't stop the source. I can't do it. Sheepy: Grif: We can knock all of them out. Sheepy: Grif: And then... Sheepy: Grif:...I can't. Arsé-kun: Kay: What do you mean you can't?!? *as he football tackles another ginger. he learned that one from Gawain* Sheepy: Grif: I can't stop the source because he lives in some body of water. Sheepy: Grif: I can't swim. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good lord. We're so fucked! Sheepy: Grif: We can deal with the people and then... Dad hasn't been in contact with me for a while now. Who can we contact? ... No, I'll pick up swimming as I go. Arsé-kun: *One poor soul walks right into Merlin's barrier. He's given a small shock by it!* Sheepy: *He decides that it isn't worth trying to get through and instead lies down on the ground.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, Mr. Masato! You don't wanna lay there, you might get trampled! Sheepy: Masato: No, I'm happy lying here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That's fair.. Arsé-kun: *Kay thinking.png* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, Aru! C'mere a sec! Arsé-kun: Kay: Merlin's barrier shocked a guy and it worked I think. So! In theory! *he grabs Aru's sword arm and smacks the ginger with Caliburn real quick. bzzt!* Arsé-kun: Har: --'M UP I'M UP, NO MORE DAY DRINKING-- ehhh?! Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Good idea! Sheepy: Aru: Wow, so this is an alcoholic. I understand now! Arsé-kun: *Kay snorts, and then explains to Harland before sending him off. Har spots Morty and bumrushes him like a... Like a bum, I guess* Sheepy: Aru: Okay, you can knock them down and I can knock them out! ... Or, wait! No! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif! If we shock them, it wakes 'em up! Sheepy: Grif: Ah. I cannot shock people. Sheepy: *Aru comes over to Morty to duplicate how she smacked Har.* Arsé-kun: *Two quest markers pop up. One by Merlin's barrier, and one on his sword. Electrify your sword, Grif!* Sheepy: Grif: I see. A tutorial on how to deal elemental damage. Sheepy: *Grif takes his sword and touches it against the barrier* Arsé-kun: *Element changed to Electric! Will now deal additional Shock damage!* Sheepy: Grif: I could put this in Glaaki's lake to electeocute him. ...Ha. Ha. Ha. Not a continuous current. Sheepy: *Grif, however, starts following Kay and Aru's example and smacking people wih his sword!* Arsé-kun: *It's working!!!* Sheepy: Grif: Good idea. Sheepy: Grif: If we can shock them all, we can figure out what to do next. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Pass it on, too!! Tell everyone that small shocks are working! Sheepy: Grif: Right! Sheepy: *Grif spreads the news!* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: *distantly* I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TAZE STUDENTS Arsé-kun: *D-Ho promptly tazes Christo with more glee than he has the right to have. The tazer might be on the lowest setting, but it's still tazing students.* Sheepy: Christo: -?! Sheepy: *Il is following the group, happily humming to himself...* Arsé-kun: D-Ho: Now get outta' here, foureyes angelface, scram! Shoo, outta the way. I got a music teacher to taze. Sheepy: Christo: I need to deal with my friend first! Arsé-kun: Red: ..? We're not going anymore? Sheepy: Christo: No, of course we aren't! Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus was just following you! *he picks up Christo easily* You might get stepped on down there! Sheepy: Christo: Ah... so you weren't being controlled. Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus cannot be controlled by anything but his stomach and his friends! *he's very confident* Sheepy: Christo: So you... were just following me. Arsé-kun: Red: Of course! You never leave without saying anything... Sheepy: Christo: So that's it. Well, thank you. Arsé-kun: Red: Don't mention it! Sheepy: Il: Come, come, my friends, let's rush before they run out of the best merch! Arsé-kun: D-Ho: That ain't what this is, you stupid gamer! *he tazes a music teacher without looking, meanwhile* Do you HEAR any weeb music being blasted for miles around?? Sheepy: Il: It's quiet to be polite to others. When people gather, it's for conventions. Arsé-kun: D-Ho: I see, ho! You're completely stupid AND hopeless! Shoo, before I taze you too! Sheepy: Il: Taze? Sheepy: Il: Are we tazing people? Arsé-kun: D-Ho: No, we're lightly tazing people! You'll actually kill someone, ho! Sheepy: Il: Well, I'll watch. Sheepy: Il: Too bad. I left my switch at home. Arsé-kun: *D-Ho starts dual-wielding tazers and wading into the crowd of mostly-students. asshole* Sheepy: *Il follows him, having nothing better to do* Arsé-kun: Lot: *somewhere in the crowd* ---tRISTAN WHY Sheepy: Tristan, faintly: You were acting strange. Arsé-kun: Lot, faintly: I've no excuse. Arsé-kun: *Gradually, everyone affected is shocked back to their senses! We know this because Griflet gets a popup announcing his success.* Sheepy: Grif: We've succeeded. Sheepy: Grif: I can remove the barrier now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is that what that says? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready for me to remove the barrier? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, uh, have fun with that? Sheepy: *Grif approaches the barrier and punches through it!* Arsé-kun: *A green, very decayed hand reaches out of the hole Griflet made, and grabs his arm!!* Sheepy: Grif: Augh?! Sheepy: *Grif attempts pulling his hand away!* Arsé-kun: *This is easily done* Sheepy: Grif: There's something on the other side! Arsé-kun: Kay: Then beat it up! Arsé-kun: *People have begun getting the FUCK out of dodge- That is to say, not staying put. I wouldn't wanna be here either!* Sheepy: Grif: But if I stick my arm in there... Sheepy: *Grif attempts to attack the enemy on the other side!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 13 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 3 Arsé-kun: *I hope you meant "Grif snaps the neck of the enemy on the other side!" because that's what happened.* Sheepy: Grif: *He quickly pulls his hands back* Arsé-kun: *Despite this, a zombie with a very snapped neck starts pulling itself through the hole!* Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: *Tristan is blankly staring at it...* Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't care what I do. Sheepy: Grif: Its weaknesses are...? ... Sheepy: Grif: Light. Unfortunate. I'm no lightbulb. Sheepy: Grif: Fire. ... ... ... Ah, Dad said to practice this, but I never managed to do it. Arsé-kun: *The zombie, of course, does not care that Grif is preoccupied and starts ambling towards him while carefully avoiding the streetlight's beam of radiance. It is not completely stupid.* Sheepy: *A bright light comes from behind grif! It fires towards the zombie and the barrier. The source is Il, whose wings are out! Sir, you aren't supposed to show those to people!* Arsé-kun: *both the barrier and the zombie have been fucking obliterated. ggwp* Sheepy: Il: Judgement passed. Guilty. Target exterminated. Arsé-kun: Kay: bro. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: That was sicknasty. Do it again! Sheepy: Il:..? Arsé-kun: *There are more zombies behind the barrier, but they look conflicted about approaching. They're all dimly lit by the streetlights as well..* Sheepy: Il: *he's calculating his best course of action...* Sheepy: Il: Fear detected. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he turns on his phone's flashlight and points it in the zombies' direction. They don't seem to like that much!* Sheepy: Grif: If we can drive them back, we could find Glaaki's home. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do we wanna do this... Aw, fuck it! Sheepy: Tristan:...I want to come along. Arsé-kun: Kay: What was your name again, Ill? Maybe do something about the guy on the ground behind you-- Ehhhh?? Sheepy: Tristan: I have to. The scars on their bodies... Sheepy: Tristan: I have always had one, just like theirs. Ever since I can remember. Arsé-kun: Lot: I can confirm this. I will not be going, but... *he looks to Griflet* I'm trusting you with his safety. Sheepy: Grif: I'll do my best. Sheepy: Il: I will join you. I must avenge Ignis. He is dead. Arsé-kun: *poor Ignis is on the ground, sure, but he is definitely not dead* Sheepy: Tristan: No, I don't think that's right. Arsé-kun: Lot: ... Il. Let's bring him to Raphael. Sheepy: Il: ? ... ... Sheepy: Il: Orders understood. *he lifts up Ignis* Arsé-kun: Lot: why are you this way Sheepy: Il: Your security level isn't high enough to access this information. Arsé-kun: Lot: That was rhetorical. Lets just go. Sheepy: Il: *he starts hunting down Raph* Arsé-kun: *Lot shrugs to no one in particular and then hurries after him* Arsé-kun: *there's a brief static noise from Grif's bag* Sheepy: *Grif takes out the source* Arsé-kun: *It's Paimon! Reconnecting...* Sheepy: Grif: Dad is back. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, we got our specialized guide back. Oh mighty orb, lead us to a slug bitch. Arsé-kun: Yog: ---m I back yet?? Guten tag? Sheepy: Grif: Dad. Glaaki is back. We need to deal with him. Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes, I noticed! I was going to warn you, but somebody I am not going to name was too in range. Grandfather. Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa... I bet he wanted candy. Sheepy: Grif: One ofthem touched me. Awful. Arsé-kun: Yog: I do not care what he wanted, this was very much in the way! I see there were no casualties, good, good. Here, allow me to make up for my absence. *Paimon lights up. the zombies do not like this*.* Sheepy: Grif: We were warned by Primo. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll have to thank him later on, then. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. He possessed my friend. Merlin. Sheepy: Grif: I need to fight Glaaki, but... Sheepy: Grif: I can't swim... Arsé-kun: Yog: You do not have to. There are a series of tunnels under the lake. His zombies also cannot swim. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Should I head off now? Current party: Kay, Tristan, Me. I'm missing a mage. Do I need another party member? Arsé-kun: Yog: There is no additional persons present nor capable of fufilling this role. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: Kay: We won't need one if we're not stupid. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Grif: If only that angel had stuck around. Sheepy: Grif: I'll have to deal with these myself. Arsé-kun: Yog: What are you going to do? Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Griflet? Sheepy: Grif: I have no clue. Sheepy: Grif: My attacks are ineffective on them. Items would be wasteful here... Sheepy: Grif:... Hm, but if Dad hasn't broken his yet, I'm sure this isn't too fragile. Sheepy: *Grif suddenly launches Yog's orb at the zombies!* Arsé-kun: *The sheer radiance of Paimon obliterates the zombies before they're even touched, leaving greenish-gray dust flying away on the wind. Paimon ends up rolling away, as orbs do* Sheepy: Grif: I won. Arsé-kun: Kay: We lost our possible guides and your dad. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Dad... he's gone forever... Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Grif's phone* Why would you do that?! Sheepy: Grif: They're gross. Arsé-kun: Yog: I can't control where Paimon goes. Go fetch it before it rolls off the path. Sheepy: Grif: *he hesitantly follows the path of the orb* Arsé-kun: *Kay hesitantly follows HIM, dragging Tristan along* Sheepy: Tristan: Are we finally going? Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, probably. Sheepy: Grif: What if I lose it? Arsé-kun: Kay: How? How do you lose something that goddamn bright? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Did it roll off the path? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: I wonder... how embarrassed should I be...? Arsé-kun: Kay: God fucking dammit. *he rips his eyepatch off and pockets it* Let's just fucking go. Bedi is gonna kill me. Sheepy: Grif: How embarrassing... I'll never recover from this... Sheepy: Tristan: So we're going now. Arsé-kun: Yog: *sounding distant* mka, mka ya, mka ult, mka fahf, mka y'nglui Arsé-kun: (tl; fuck, fuck me, fuck you, fuck this, fuck my threshold) Sheepy: Grif: He is speaking forbidden words. Arsé-kun: Kay: Naughty words? Oh, he's cursing? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Kay attempts to actually listen. He learns nothing* Sheepy: Grif: Maybe I shouldn't have thrown him. Arsé-kun: Kay: You think?! Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Remember how I agreed to not go off path. Bc Grif threw an important thing and I'm going to obliterate him tomorrow. Fuck. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You're going? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Fuckin someone has to! I'll go in as little as possible. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] He can't just go alone? Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You know he probably worked alone before he moved in with you, right? He didn't need a partner then. You don't need to endanger yourself for him. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Ok but tristan wanted to go and he is very much my problem Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Ask Lot, he was there Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] OK. Thanks. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Grif won't be completely stupid bc there's other people to worry about. I should be back before sunrise lmao this sucks Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] You should only be worrying about yourself along with Tristan. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] Yes, exactly. I don't need to worry about him because he WON'T be stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] That's not what I meant... Sheepy: *Grif has been completely ignoring Kay and is more fixated on looking for Paimon* Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] ... Never mind, I already lost Grif, so I'll take a quick look with Tristan and then fuck off Sheepy: Bedi: [text: to Kay] I'm not surprised. OK. Stay safe. Come back soon. Arsé-kun: Kay: [text: to Bedi] owo)b Arsé-kun: *Kay pockets his phone and crosses Off-Path with Tristan. He isn't happy about it.* Sheepy: Tristan: I have one issue to tell you. Sheepy: Tristan: I will be unable to track Griflet. Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't expect you to. I can see ahead for us both. Sheepy: Tristan: He has no ugliness about him. Sheepy: Tristan: Therefore, my ability to see him is greatly limited. Arsé-kun: Kay: One day you'll explain that. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Not that I disagree anyway. Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay! Big glowing orb! Shouldn't be hard to find, but I don't see it. Sheepy: Tristan: I don't see much of anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's like that on this side. But it's glowing, we should be able to see that. Sheepy: Tristan: I can see your ugliness. As long as you are by me, I should be safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: My self-esteem felt that one. Sheepy: Tristan: It isn't abour your appearance. Arsé-kun: Kay: My self esteem felt that one Sheepy: Tristan: No. Almost everyone has it. You are very red. Arsé-kun: *Kay just accepts this and keeps going.* Sheepy: Tristan: I wonder where he went. Arsé-kun: Kay: Judging by how the surroundings look... *he looks around, and then starts walking a bit more to the right* I think this way. I didn't see this when Grif dragged me out last time. Sheepy: Tristan: What is it? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's messy and downhill, that's what it is. Sheepy: Tristan: Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: *Kay starts carefully going downhill, trying to juggle his own balance and Tristan's* Sheepy: *Tristan is staying close to Kay* Arsé-kun: *They reach the bottom! By that point, the surroundings have shifted from the open to... Not that. It's more cavelike than anything down here.* Sheepy: Tristan: It's hard under my feet. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah... It's kinda like a cave or something. Maybe it's a cavern. Sheepy: Tristan: It was mentioned that Glaaki lives in a cave. Arsé-kun: Kay: We shoulda brought more salt. Sheepy: Tristan: Hmm... I can cry on it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that. Arsé-kun: *They turn a corner. Grif is on the ground, being poked by several zombies with sticks and similar objects.* Sheepy: *Grif groans and slightly shifts* Sheepy: Tristan: There's something ahead but I can't see it. Sheepy: Grif: Fine... fine! I'm up, I'm up! Quit that! Sheepy: Grif: Cheating slug, sneaking up on me and killing me like that! He probably never even noticed-- he took Dad!! Sheepy: Tristan: I think it's an angry Griflet up ahead. Arsé-kun: Kay: It is. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm gonna just assume you're covered in mud! Don't correct me! Sheepy: Tristan: Well, we found him. Arsé-kun: *the zombies back off. one leans back in to poke Grif one last time.* Sheepy: Grif: Glaaki crushed me and oneshot me! On accident! Arsé-kun: Kay: You gotta pay more attention, man. What if we were with you when that happened? Sheepy: Grif: Hm... If there's lives on the line, I suppose I have to pay attention. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, because we're here. Tristan, how far did you want to go...? Sheepy: Tristan: I need to find the source. Arsé-kun: *The zombies look at each other, decide they don't want to deal with whatever happens, and all split off to go down different cavern paths. Oh. Helpful* Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: I can't act recklessly anymore. Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: Kay: You shouldn't be and that's that. Fuck you. Now take point and figure out which way we go. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: You got that way, that way, that way, that way, and I think that's a hard drop. Sheepy: Grif: Which way has the most loot... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't wanna be here all night!! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... That one. *he points to the biggest cavern* Looks like it has the most loot. Sheepy: Grif: Loot... Sheepy: Grif: But if that's the plot instead... I'll miss out on all of the loot. Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Fine. This is an escort quest. As the escort, you can choose where we go. Arsé-kun: Kay: We're taking the big one. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: *Grif heads into the big cavern!* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him, still holding onto Tristan* Sheepy: Grif: *He's walking faster than usual. He might be a little angry. Only a little* Arsé-kun: *Kay just wants to be done with this. He wants to go home and not be here.* Sheepy: Grif: Where is he... Sheepy: Grif: Glaaakiiiii?! Show yourself! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: *very distantly but echoy* Nafl-og! Arsé-kun: (tl: NO.) Sheepy: Grif: Yes! You killed me and stole my dad! I'm getting my revenge! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Nog geb, gof’nn! L'ya! Arsé-kun: (tl: Come here, children! To me!) Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Grif, what's it saying? We don't speak slug. Sheepy: Grif: He's telling us to go to him instead. Sheepy: Grif: He must be at the end of this cavern. We wouldn't be having plot dialogue otherwise. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he sighs* Well, lets hurry it up. It smells like dank ass in here. Sheepy: *Tristan has no input about the smell. Instead, he's trembling and clinging to Kay as best as he can. Maybe that is an input about the smell* Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And Tristan's gonna be adding to the smell, probably. Hurry this shit up, I'm impatient. Sheepy: Grif: Having been dead in the past ten minutes makes me less impatient. Arsé-kun: Kay: Orb dad is down there and you're gonna be patient? Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Fine! You say, be careful! Keep an eye out! And then you tell me to hurry up because you're an impatient! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine, you're right there. Sheepy: Grif: *he huffs and turns his attention back to getting to the end of the cavern* Arsé-kun: *Eventually, there is light! Wow!* Arsé-kun: *... Also, do ya'll like moss?* Sheepy: Grif: We're here. Arsé-kun: *Enter the Moss Cavern? y/y* Sheepy: *Grif enters the moss cavern* Arsé-kun: *Kay pushes Tristan into the moss cavern and then goes in himself* Sheepy: Grif: *he looks around* Arsé-kun: *First off, Paimon is the center of attention, giver of light. There are several household furnitures around, like tables and chairs, but they're all CAKED in moss. There are mushrooms along the walls, algae and more moss. And, of course, the gigantic slug-like beast with at least one row of spines and three eyes. Minimum. Two eyes are staring at the party.* Sheepy: Grif: Let me have Dad back. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Fhtagn. Arsé-kun: (tl: Wait.) Sheepy: Tristan:........Is this... the source? Even it bears a single thread of fate... Arsé-kun: *Glaaki draws near, lowering an eye stalk for a better look at our party* Sheepy: Grif: Don't convert them or I'll convert you into dead. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: *he looks at Grif, to Kay, and settles on Tristan. One can see his gaze slowly wandering downwards* Sheepy: Tristan:...! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ... Survivor. Sheepy: Tristan:.... Arsé-kun: *Despite the close range and switch to English, the slight echo and distant sounding voice remain. It must be telepathy.* Sheepy: Tristan: I... was supposed to become one of those things, wasn't I? Sheepy: Tristan: You can answer my questions, can't you? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yurt. Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: Did you kill my parents? Turn them into those things? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yes, no. Sheepy: Tristan: ...Hm. Does your poison affect vision? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ... Prefer darkness. Vulgtmnah ph’-shogg. Arsé-kun: (tl: Good over (in) the realm of darkness) Sheepy: Tristan: So dark, hazy vision...? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ...?? *he shifts and tilts like a confused, monstrous dog* Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Vision for dark bad in light. Bright. Sheepy: Tristan:...?! Sheepy: Tristan: No... No... Everything's so dark and hazy. Except forthe bright red threads. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Grah’n, ult kadishtu r’luh n’gha n’ghft? Arsé-kun: (tl: Lost one/Larva, you understand secret death (in) darkness?) Sheepy: Tristan:?... Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: You didn't cause this? Sheepy: Tristan: So you can't tell me how to fix it... Arsé-kun: Glaaki: ... ... Uhhh. *two of his eyes look to Paimon. Yog does not give any input* ee nafl. No answers. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! I came down here seeking answers and gained nothing of value! Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Y'lloig ng-ymg ch’ng-y'toklan.. Vulgtlagln Nodens. F'-imas ya ng-kadishtu. Arsé-kun: (tl: my mind and yours crossed and then my blood spilt.. Pray to Nodens. They stopped me and understand.) Sheepy: Tristan: So he might know something more. Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Kay is trying to take phone pictures in the background. He's given up on the concept of verbal language as a whole.* Sheepy: Grif: Can I have my dad back now? Arsé-kun: Glaaki: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif takes Paimon back* Arsé-kun: *Yog is still silent. There is also some moss on Paimon* Sheepy: Grif: *He brushes the moss off* Arsé-kun: Yog: We have three minutes. Do not ask questions. Evacuate immediately. This includes you, Gla'aki. Sheepy: Grif: ?! Arsé-kun: Kay: That bad..?! Sheepy: Grif: How do you expect me to accomplish that?! Arsé-kun: Yog: You have one instant transport spell remaining in storage, but it cannot take three people. Sheepy: Grif: How many can it take? Arsé-kun: Yog: Two. Sheepy: Grif: Fine! *he quickly searches through his inventory and shoves the transport spell into Kay's hands* Kay! Use it and get out with Tristan! Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh?! How do I..?? Sheepy: Grif: Just [use] it! Very simple! Arsé-kun: *Kay smacks the scroll against his knee. Apparently, this counts as [Use] and it activates, warping both Tristan and Kay back to the entrance of the cavern.* Sheepy: Tristan: Are we out...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah. This is where we came in. Sheepy: Tristan: Good. Let's go home. I'm sure it's safer there. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he looks at the cavern again* ... Lets at least get you back. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes. Let's go back. Arsé-kun: *They start going back.* Sheepy: Tristan: I'm sure he'll escape just fine. Arsé-kun: *Behind them, the entire cavern seems to explode. There is no sound, strangely enough, but it most certainly happened. The entire area brightly shown a colour of some kind, not one humans know, then faded into smoke.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ........ Sheepy: Tristan: Wh...what... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... the FUCK was that?! Sheepy: Tristan:....Maybe he died after all. Arsé-kun: Kay: .......... Like I said, lets get you back. Sheepy: Tristan: You intend to go back in there? Arsé-kun: Kay: Just to take a look. If I don't see anything, I'll bail. Sheepy: Tristan: I see. Good luck. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks. Don't do anything stupid again, aight? Sheepy: Tristan: I won’t. Arsé-kun: *They get back on path from where they left! It's still ass o'clock at night.* Sheepy: *Bedi is waiting for them there.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey. That sucked. There was a slug. Look, I didn't get obliterated. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank goodness... I was worrying nonstop. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorry. Take this. *he pushes Tristan towards Bedi* Sheepy: Bedi: Thanks...? We're going back now, aren't we? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, you are! Give me like.... Twenty minutes? Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: What's there to do so late at night? Arsé-kun: Kay: Make sure Grif isn't dead? Sheepy: *Bedi seems lost, but doesn't complain* Sheepy: Bedi: Good...luck? Arsé-kun: Kay: Gonna need it! Something exploded! *and he walks right back off path with a poker face. He has a lot of feelings right now and most of them are stress* Sheepy: *Grif hasn't returned....* Arsé-kun: *Where there was once a cavern is now a ginormous water?-filled crater. This is very clearly problematic.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Griiiif? Sheepy: *There's some splashing in response.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif?? Sheepy: *There's more movement in the water.* Sheepy: *...Something pokes its head out! It looks like it's water (because it is water).* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... *he squints* Elyan. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Elyan: *A very close Grif imitation* Kaaaaay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't do that..! Where's Grif?? Do you know? Sheepy: Elyan: *stare* Arsé-kun: Kay: No? I gotta do everything myself around here? Sheepy: Elyan: *he slowly nods before shifting back into his normal peacock form and joining Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay takes his phone out, turns the flashlight app on, and slowly wades into the dead waters. It's cold, but he doesn't complain* Sheepy: *Elyan is looking around from Kay's shoulder.* Sheepy: Elyan: *Kay voice* Griiiiif! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grifleeet?! Sheepy: *There's no response...* Arsé-kun: *...But there's something in the water up ahead!* Sheepy: *It's a bird! It's a plane! ...No, it's just Grif, floating face down, unmoving.* Arsé-kun: *Kay yells out in panic and swims up to him before trying to pull Grif onto his back without dropping his phone. He fails one of these things, but it isn't nearly as important as Griflet. Griflet is FAR more important. Kay starts the journey back to land with Grif in tow, occasionally looking to Elyan for support.* Sheepy: *Elyan helps as best as he can!* Sheepy: *The sound of large wings flapping forms above Kay. It's getting closer, too, and descending-- Something large lands before Kay!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is forced to stop right up against it! He was almost at land, too..* Sheepy: *The creature before Kay lowers its head to his level. It's a dragon!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh...! Can you help?! Sheepy: Dragon: Help? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's hurt! Sheepy: Dragon: That's why I'm here. Arsé-kun: Kay: Th-then help us already! Sheepy: Dragon: *he blankly stares at Kay* But you seem okay right now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Griflet ISN'T! Are you dumb or stupid?? D-do something or get out of my way..! Sheepy: Dragon: *he hesitantly shifts* Humans are funny. They only give me two name options. Arsé-kun: Kay: Good lord..! *he resumes the swim back to shore.* Sheepy: Dragon: That isn't my name either. I can't help Grif with you there. I've heard picking up humans upsets them. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he slows down to talk* I mean yes, but... *he shivers a little* I wouldn't mind it right now if it means getting out of here! Sheepy: Dragon: You need to bring him to a human doctor. I brought him to a vet and they rejected him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, you're the himbo Grif got it from! Okay, simple terms! Grif drowned and I'm freezing! Please get us out of here! Sheepy: Dragon: *he lifts up Kay gently. hold* You should've said so sooner! Very funny! You humans dance around what you want until you die! Arsé-kun: *Kay tightly grabs onto Griflet. The dragon was right- He hates this! .. Because it's fucking cold.* Sheepy: *The dragon starts heading back to the path, carrying them with him* Sheepy: *...Based on the occasional yawn, this dragon has just woken up...* Arsé-kun: *... And with the adrenaline starting to wear off, Kay is starting to feel exhausted.* Sheepy: Dragon: *yawn* By the way. My name isn't Himbo. It's Dove. Like the emotion! Arsé-kun: Kay: I called you a himbo. It's an insult, kind of. *he doesn't bother arguing* Big, dumb, nice to women. A himbo. Himbo dragon. Sheepy: Dove: Ah! I love women! Very pretty and nice! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I've heard.. Sheepy: Dove: But they keep taking things from me and leaving... Why? Arsé-kun: Kay: People are jerks, that's why.. Sheepy: Dove Maybe... humans don't like me very much? Arsé-kun: Kay: Humans don't like anything half the time... We're a fuckin' mess. Sheepy: Dove: You like my son. It's enough for me! ...Ah, look, look! Another human! Sheepy: *Bedi is at the edge of the path, waiting. He is, understandably, frozen in fear from Dove.* Arsé-kun: Kay: *to Bedi, raising his voice* What's my time?! Was it twenty minutes?? Sheepy: Bedi: ...?! K-Kay?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Freezing my balls off, but I'm still here! Got Grif! I need a beer! Sheepy: Dove: To warm up, I usually make a fire! Very toasty! Good for making cows crunchy! Arsé-kun: Kay: If bonfires were allowed on campus, I'd say go for it. But they're not. Sheepy: Dove: Too bad.

#c.au #4

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