#luckily they have me working mornings
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UPDATE 8-30-24
We're so back.
Chapter 1 of Greenwarden is chugging along! Greenwarden will (finally) update once I reach a common route between all the different branches. Current checklist is Bar Route -> Library Route -> Summer's House Route. None of you are ready.
TKP and Erinys are also chugging along! Those will update chapter-by-chapter -- at least that's the plan. Depending on how big they are, they might occasionally update like Greenwarden does, which is whenever I reach a common point between branching paths.
Snippets underneath the cut.
[ID: White text on a dark gray background. The text says: "'What the fuck was that?" You could cry with relief. Bautista. He all but throws his gun into his holster on his way to you. His hands smooth over your neck and face until he notices the drying gash in your stomach.
"'No, no, no,' he sounds shaky. 'Nazeri!' You're starting to feel distant and wobbly, a mirage. Cold all over. Nazeri is still putting on a pair of gloves by the time he kneels by your arm. He has a thin mask over his face. It still doesn't hide the way his pupils go deep and wide and dark smelling all that blood." /end ID]
[ID: White text on a dark gray background. The bottom line of text is bright red. The text says: "You have to fight your instinct to run, wrestle with it until you can pin it down just enough you don't scream and sprint for the hills. You run through your Rolodex of woodland training. Coyotes are ambush-persuit predators when they're not scavenging. They're sprinters by nature — not like wolves or people. Skittish and easily startled, but stubborn. You might be able to make yourself not worth it.
'I see you, motherfucker,' you shout, puffing out your chest and raising your arms to look bigger. Your jacket helps. You feel like a great big stupid bird. It doesn't take the hint right away. If anything, it gets closer out of curiosity.
'Go on!' It jerks back. 'Go on, get!' You get brave and stomp the ground in front of you. Threat displays.
The second you bend down to pick up a rock, you realize you made a mistake. Between one second and the next it's in front of you.
You've never seen a coyote so white, nor one with eyes so blue.
You stare into each others' eyes. Breathless for a few precious seconds. What next?
What comes next is that it smiles at you. Human-like, with pointed canid teeth. The way its mouth moves makes you nauseous — it shouldn't bend like that, it's eyes shouldn't crinkle that way, and you end up making some kind of strangled gag noise before stumbling back.
'Go on,' it says, very calmly. 'Get.'
Doesn't have to tell you twice." /end ID]
#greenupdate#greensnippets#i did recently start a new job so im a little slower on the uptake#luckily they have me working mornings#and i can write on the bus home
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Augehhrhghfg homework. Big explosion
#why did I choose this weekend of all weekends to come home…#(I had like three end-of-module projects due)#luckily I am mostly done#I just have one more due tomorrow (or I guess later today) at midnight#and I spent all night working on it sooo just have to write a little bit more and do a bunch of stick figure drawings. easy peasy#just. time consuming 😰#hopefully I have plenty of time tomorrow#hoping to finish in tbe morning but we’ll see. might have to wajt for the evening#in other news I spent forever setting up my hand-me-down Kindle#and I finally got it hooked up to a new account#and I can’t transfer books onto it 😭 idk why#I’ve tried like three different methods and a few different file formats but no dice#sighhh maybe tomorrow morning I’ll fivure it out IDK I want to read books#I am so tired SORRY FOR TBE RAMBLE I just wanted to post a ljttle diary entry#goodnightttt 😁😁😁😁😁❤️#🤓posting
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guess who got a really bad stomach flu and spent all of last night throwing up
#I genuinely thought I was going to die#like I’m talking projectile vomiting bro#my best friend’s dad’s bday was Friday and we went over to their house to cut a cake and he’d been having some stomach problems#but we all thought it was bc he’d eaten some bad leftovers the night before#cut to my bestie texting me the next morning telling me both her and her sister got the same thing so that meant it was a virus 😭#and now I’ve spent all day sipping Gatorade and eating tiny portions of apple sauce bc I can’t keep anything else down#and then I have work tomorrow and I can’t call out bc my PTO hours aren’t available until June#luckily I don’t feel horrible anymore but today’s been hell just swimming in and out of consciousness and trying to stay hydrated#without hacking it all back up 😭
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#tw: self harm#sorry I just. needed to put this somewhere.#I did not actually do anything. but I almost did.#it's been like...3? 4 months? since the last time and then it was probably about 6 months before that.#and previous to that I'd made it I think to a year? or close to it.#and I almost relapsed this morning. almost.#luckily a bunch of coping shit from therapy kicked in. I'm not in any danger and I wasn't like. TRYING to put myself in danger.#which is good. genuinely. all of that is good. I just...why is this so hard? why is it so hard to be a person. why is it so hard to even#do things that I WANT to do. that are genuinely important to me.#things that are supposed to be fun.#like I really do think there is just something fundamentally broken about me and I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix it.#which means I have to work around it but I cannot fucking figure out how to do THAT so. I'm just. you know.#ugh. anyway. maybe I should go sing or something. who knows.
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God I got ass sleep AGAIN so I'm at least gonna take a hot bath before work. I guess
#luckily i only have a half day of stuff today#bc i have something really irritating to do later this morning#then after that im coming home and CHILLING for a bit#i feel ok for now but ive been awake since 3 so#i know the tired is fonna hit me like right when i need to start getting ready for work. lol#ah well reading gk until then
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i went to urgent care this morning and i had to ask for a doctors note for when i can go back to work and they deadnamed me in the note BUT gave me the right pronouns. interesting flex unc
#i have rsv 😩 i tried to go into work this morning and my manager sent me home#luckily its almost done and i have sweet medicine
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i just checked my schedule to double check i don’t have to be at work at 6am … baby it is already midnight what were three hours gonna do if you did have to do that
#dont mind me#is it insane to wake up at 330 to get to work at 6? yes and? i am unwell and not a morning perso#if i woke up at 5 i would be in a bad mood all day#luckily it’s 1pm days until sunday :) and i have another saturday off!
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feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. i'm holding my soul like a balloon on a string. emptily floating alongside my body as i go about my day, there but not really there.
#hahahahahaha i am sooooo mentally and emotionally healthy :)#i dont feel like theres a void inside of me and totally wasnt so depressed this morning i could barely move#its busy at work so luckily i dont have time to think of the horrors
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When you make an impulsive decision and ultimately regret it.
#so something important came up#and I need the day off#checked my rota#and since I’m working a decent shift#a morning to afternoon/evening shift#let me just swap it#issue is that so far no one has said anything#luckily I asked on the gc that doesn’t have managers on it#but the issue is there are supervisors#so I don’t know if it’s best to go into work early and see if I can get a manger to sort it out#or just call in sick but issue with that is a supervisor is on the open so they would know#gatherrambkes#and I found out today
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i have seven days of training for my new job at the main branch out-of-town starting monday and i'm very excited to get to ride the train so much and dreading the actual logistics
#personal#apologies to everyone who has already heard me talk about this#but i am NOT a morning person and i feel bad for making my wife drop me off at the station at like six am#reid works#i'm just very anxious about missing my train or getting stranded or having to make small talk in a rideshare#also my phone will not connect to my home wifi for some reason :)#so if i'm not very active here don't worry i'm just exhausted#luckily after this my job is just a walk and a bus ride away
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adulthood is so depressing like you go to a job you dislike with colleagues you dislike and then when you get home you're tired but you have to make dinner so you make something that doesnt make you happy and then you look at tiktok or youtube for hours and go to sleep and it just repeats and repeats until you have your days off and one out of two days is spent doing errands and chores and being tired and then maybe the other day you'll actually do something fun like meet a friend but all of the other days are just spend between work, sleep, looking at your phone or laptop and buying yourself things you don't actually need because that's what passes for self care these days and you don't have any real community or really close friends because all you do is work, sleep and be tired
#to delete later#my job isn't that bad and just one of my colleagues sucks#he's so patronising and always corrects me when i dont even do it wrong and he does the same and yeah everything has to go his way but#i can never do it right bc he likes putting me down#i just work with him 2 or 3 days a week luckily but still#i work evenings and most people i know work 9-5 and there's few activities and events in the mornings so i can't do many social things#i dont at all mean that just being someone to come home to was why i loved being with my ex but it's nice to look forward to something and#just have someone that makes you happy every day and makes your life worthwhile idk#but i just love them for non-selfless reasons as well i think? i just love them because i love them idk#and like they were the person i wanted to come home to. not just anyone
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you know, for the most part my asthma is very under control and not too much of a bother, but heavens forbid some dust gets blown around by high winds and then I get sick with a chest cold bc my immune system was too busy causing allergies over the dust instead of doing its actual job and then I can barely go up or down a flight of stairs without losing my breath
#something fun to bring up ay my next visit to a specialist I guess#I am having a terrible time breathing#luckily I only get chest infections once every like 5 years or more but still#when I get them I am in misery#I feel kinda bad for snapping at my managers for trying to keep me at work when I demanded to be sent home#but considering how much worse I am now than I was this morning it's probably for the best#WHY managers of food places want to keep sick employees around their food and customers I will never understand#although considering that ''I like my coworkers and regulars a whole lot'' is the only thing keeping me at my job#like...the threat of getting fired isn't a threat what am I gonna do go down the street and get a similar job paying me more money?#anyhow I'm so tired of being sick I spent the beginning months of last year sick#and I don't want to spend this year's start sick as well#it's annoying to have to call out of work bc I have to do it in such a way to avoid the ''get someone to cover you'' BS#which means getting my ass up at the crack of dawn to call out every single shift#also I don't like being unable to really DO anything bc I feel too shitty to do anything#I'm just tired#sorry for the long rant I just needed to get this out of my system at least#oracle of lore
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today is. one of the shittiest days i have ever experienced
#nonstop work since 3pm until now and its 2am#i have NOT stopped being pages#was gonna come home early but ended up having to work overtime in the morning too#so have pretty much been working since 9am really#mid shift i get a call my baby nephews been hospitalised#i speed through all traffic lights i see to get to the childrens hospital hes at#hes doing better thankfully but god my heart SANK#and then had to deal with difficult cases and patients#luckily my senior doc is the BIGGEST sweetheart and covered for me#even came to the ER bc he said i 'sounded stressed on the phone' i wanna give this man a huh#and now im home. its 2am. im eating a cold meatloaf and watching friends#bc i can NOT sleep i need to process all thats happened#AND i could still get paged at any time :)#delete later
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exciting day so far
#264 (the couple who pays extra to have their bed made every day (which is crazy)) knocked over a CLOCK in their room#the wife did it on accident luckily she was ok.but i had 2 hunt down maintenance to fix da clock and i thought i found a guy but apparently#he wasnt actually a maintenance guy So i might kms. but he said hed find a maintenance guy for me so..#bc my boss was like ok ryan (head of maintenance (wnd housekeeping but hes a maintenance guy. my boss is the real head of housekeeping lol)#might be in the maintenance shop. and i was like okie went in and he wasnt 💀💀💀 so i just saw a guybwearing black which i thinkk is#maintenance color and i was like halp me ! and he was like erm yeah ill find a maintenance guy for you ^-^#it was so awk tho. my job on weekdays (except tuesdays bc thats the day they get cleaned) is 2 make the bed and its usually umm#shes usually in da shower with her caretaker. not like eith but. ykwim. and the husband is usually asleep on da couch#but i got there like 10 minutes early so they were both up and also yhe husband was like Are you a guy can you help and i was like erm no#and i misunderstood i thought he was having like#a medical or#something else issue. yk. but then i overheard him talking to the wifes caretaker and realized he said CLOCK. and i was like ohhh ok..#but i finished the bed and said okie ill find a maintenance guy t come help asap :]#and he was like thanks 👍 hes very sweet idk if we had spoken b4. well probably but idr much of it#i think ive mainly spoken to da wife b4. shes very sweet shes had a stroke so its a bit difficult to understand her sometimes but shes very#nice.. i ws sooo worried thenfirst day bc allegedly we got there early (aka the time they usually went to do the bed) so now k do it at 9#which is mildly inconvenient but not too bad. ideally id be making the bed b4 i starty rooms 4 the day bc i have like an hour anf a half to#do my morning work. so i could just slot ir in real easy.. but its all good jo worries. but ya so she was kind of irritated the first day#and also it was my first time speaking to someone who had had a stroke. so i didnt realize thats just like. how she ralks and thought she#was just super duper mad. and i was like eep! but its ok.
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I thought everything was the worst but then I had my daily sugar drink with a splash of coffee and it turns out everything actually isnt the worst. so thats good news
#[insert here two stories in which smth nice that happened this morning made me feel better abt smth that stressed me out yesterday]#[you get the point. lol]#well i dont get to see my boyfriend who you all know i adore until friday which is sad. but im so brave luckily#we are going to the hockey game? Ive never been to a hockey game. he kept telling me we didnt have to go but he likes to be at hockey games#tonight i will see my rlly good friend and we will play pokemon and then tmrw i have to close at work which is annoying but w/e#and then on thursday I'm meeting up w one of my favorite business boys to study for our accounting exam !!! 💞💞💞#he was my stats partner last semester and this semester we dont have classes together which is sad#but we're in different sections of the same accounting class so we can study together#one of my other fav business boys is in econ w me this semester I'm going to ask him to study w me for the econ exam soon
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wrist hurts shoulder hurts hip hurts knee hurts ankle hurts god forbid I do anything
#omg kiera no one cares#i don't think it helped i held Kingston for 20 minutes this morning because he's not very little anymore 😭 but he's so cute i have toooo#left side of my body just doesn't want to work with me only pain LUCKILY I'm right handed so suck it xx
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