#maybe i’ll set an alarm for 1:30 idk

[titsthedamnseason]

idk what to do i fear i cannot stay up but i badly want to

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

I took today off, for a few different reasons, and the list of things I’d somehow like to get done today after being out of the house most of the weekend is like...

do research and then vote on whether my union should go for a furlough or a full layoff for the government shutdown that might happen on Thursday well I did part of this but I guess the rest is unnecessary because the legislature passed a shutdown-averting budget at the last second?

finish writing a short fic, please, just something really short, it can’t be that hard

write notes on what I need to be doing with my WIP Big Bang fic, I guess, which should really be my writing priority in general at the moment but dammit I want to finish a short fic, why is this so hard

type a bunch from my notebooks, because I now have three full notebooks that are partially untyped and not only does that make it hard to finish anything, it also makes me paranoid about losing them

write and set up an “adventures of tiny Loki & Thor” scene for Pride

play an hour of Elder Scrolls Online for Microsoft Rewards points (on the plus side, I don’t actually need to do anything, so this can probably happen while I do something else)

do a separation-anxiety training session with Hazy

at least show up briefly for a coworker’s going-away Zoom meeting

work on current Etsy order, ideally while watching something on Amazon Prime because the free trial ends today

clean the toilet

go through my drafts and post thoughts from Loki episode 3

find and mail some late birthday gifts for a friend

dig through recent emails about wishlisted games that are now on sale

also reply to at least one email

also, find reference photos so I can commission @doriansbutt

play enough Fallout 76 to get a decent chunk of points in the scoreboard because it turns out there’s only 10 days left in this season, which is nine entire weeks shorter than the previous season because Todd Howard wants to make our lives harder I guess, and sure most of the rewards this season have been boring but there are still things I want to earn

maybe something politics-related idk

chances I would be able to get all this done if I were a normal person who could prioritize and then focus on shit, instead of constantly falling prey to a crippling combination of decision paralysis, executive dysfunction, and intense aversion to almost any task that takes time and effort? honestly I have no fucking clue, I have zero sense of what’s actually reasonable or realistic because all I ever know (by which I mean, my brain unshakably knows it, not that it’s actually true/accurate) is that I personally am not ever doing enough.

chances I’ll be able to get a decent amount of this done, given that I’m finishing breakfast at noon, my head hurts because I didn’t sleep great partly because a neighbor’s fucking car alarm went off at like 1:30 a.m. but mostly because my body just hates me, I haven’t showered yet, and I am unfortunately the person that I am with the crippling combination of decision paralysis, executive dysfunction, and intense aversion to almost any task that takes time and effort? uhhhhh, well...haha...yeah...

[sinkix]

☆ Haikyuu!! │ Boys as your roommate HC’S │ Ft Nishinoya, Akaashi, Oikawa & Hinata ☆

Okay this is a small little shit post idea that I had and it’s 2am SO it’s high-key messy and chaotic but HEY when am I not? I swear I’ll sleep after this I promise.

E N J O Y ~ <3

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Nishinoya: 

SO!!!! FUCKING!!!1 LOUD!!!11!!

AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY.

definitely blasts music first thing in the morning to get hype so be prepared for that.

y’all definitely have a designated day for movie nights and just overall vibing.

Often drags you to volleyball practise with him bc why not

both of y’all hate cleaning so it’s usually just a chaotic mess

but you both know where everything is so like whats the point in cleaning up???

can and will wake you up at random hours in the night

literally it will be 3am and he will come into your room and ask you the meaning of life or a cheesy pick up line he read on ifunny.

not even kidding.

sometimes you both end up crashing together bc you spend nearly all night playing video games and talking.

so again, expect random poking and prodding in the middle of the night for more nonsensical questions

when he sleeps though, he’s out like a LIGHT

homeboy fucking SNORES

SO. DAMN. LOUD

it’s actually really cute

rolling slumber

you get to see hair-down noya a lot and its *chef kiss*

will always cheer you up after a bad day and sometimes leaves little notes lying on the kitchen counter as motivation.

is your hype man for when your picking out outfits for the day or an important event/party. 

actually has really good taste in fashion??? so you know you can always trust his input.

you mostly eat out or order in because neither of you can cook for shit.

the last time you both attempted the kitchen nearly went up in flames.

just kidding, it did.

 never have you been so grateful for the invention of fire extinguishers. 

some got in noya’s hair and it looked so scuffed lol.

Akaashi:

such a chill rooomate, my god.

you spend most evenings on the couch just watching shows or talking about your day, akaashi is a straight up vibe machine and his presence is v soothing.

a really good cook?? so it’s always a nice surprise when you come home and dinner is already made

remembers all your favourite foods and meals so if he senses you’re down he will make them for you.

fuckin angel bro I swear.

most of the time you just eat in comfortable silence or you’ll listen to akaashi talk about the team.

he’s usually your alarm clock since he wakes up around the same time as you and being the responsible boi he is always makes sure to wake you up too.

bless his soul

sometimes you’ll have little jam out sessions if one or both of you are feeling sad

instantly 1000x better

aside from being the occasional goof he’s honestly pretty quiet for the most part

sometimes you’ll forget he’s at home and just bust out the weirdest moves or start talking to yourself and he’ll walk in the room like ????? you good ?????

he’s caught you several times just narrating your inner monologue 

definitely teases you about it

like he’ll just quote a random thing you had mumbled to yourself before just to see you squirm

low-key a little shit lmao

he is pretty tidy and has no problems cleaning up so the house is usually orderly and clean, you both take turns doing chores and pitch in to do your part

sometimes he’ll tease you if you forgot to do the dishes but then go and do them himself

so cute man ihefjwjkfkjef

sometimes y’all will clean together and just dance to music around the house while doing so

sometimes bokuto drops by and all calm atmosphere is instantly shattered but it’s okay bc he’s babi and you appreciate the hype atmosphere he brings.

well, maybe not akaashi bc he has to deal with it 24/7 but still 

you and bokuto get on v well so he makes more frequent visits now and you three will go out to eat or just sit and watch volleyball tournaments on TV. 

sometimes bokuto will make you both re watch their old matches, screaming “YOU SEE THAT AKAASHIIIIIII??!!11″ 

“yes bokuto-san.”  

aside from that just an overall very chill household.

Oikawa:

such a little shit lmao

will wake you up by throwing a pillow at your head screaming “WAKE UP (Y/N)-CHAN!!!!!” at the top of his lungs

like tooru sis it’s 7am

Sometimes you’ll drop by practise in the evening to bring snacks and walk him home

he goes all soft and makes sure to be extra nice that night

y’all are hella close and tell each other EVERYTHING

Iwazumi appreciates you SO much bc ur able to tame Oikawa’s occasionally bratty and snarky attitude so it’s less work for him.

there’s a rumour you’re dating but neither of you have addressed it bc you both find it funny.

and idk maybe you are ??? not even you two know at this point

his fangirls get hella jealous whenever you show up lolololol.

oikawa can KIND of cook

and by kind of i mean just throw shit in the oven for like 30 min and bone apple teeth.

so you usually just go to restaurants or do basic cooking

it’s always hella fun cooking with oikawa 

sometimes you’ll buy those ready-made kid baking sets to make some brownies with minimal effort

this bitch will always flick the fucking spoon at you

then SWIPE IT OFF UR CHEEK AND EAT IT

he always flashes his signature wink, sticking out his tongue.

you just sigh and hope he gets salmonella.

speaking of sickness, once oikawa got a cold

you stayed off the day to look after him and he was SO. FUCKIN. DEMANDING.

“(Y/N)-chaannn!!! make me porridge!” 

“(y/N)-ChAAAaNn! can i have some medicine.”

“(YYYy/nNnNn)-ChAAAaaANNNn give me attention.”

ofc u gave it to him bc how can u say no

 was actually very grateful and kind to you with zero bratty behaviour so u like sick oikawa.

his normal self too, but you’ll never tell him that.

Hinata: 

LOUD????

not as bad as nishinoya, like he’ll have his quiet moments but still

VERY?? LOUD??? 

it’s hard to be in a bad mood around him honestly so you always look forward to going home and seeing his smiling face

sunshine™ here to brighten ur day

you’re usually the one that has to wake him up bc let’s face it he’s hopeless at being organised and getting up on time.

he was always used to Natsu waking him up so now you’re basically Natsu 2.0 in this regard.

you usually have to resort to shaking him vigorously for like 2 mins until he actually gets up.

once you deadass poured the water over his head that was sitting on his nightstand bc he refused to get up

needless to say he was far more willing after that

you 100% have karaoke sessions together in the morning  and belt the lyrics out, attempting to sync but failing miserably.

maybe you’ll get a record deal one day who knows

Hinata can and will give you a hug and motivational speech before you walk out the door

you often have to fix his appearance before he leaves

his shirt is usually tucked in at a weird angle or hella crumpled

his hair too, like you’ll have to flatten down extra wild strands since he usually forgets to brush it before heading out the door

bitch gets toothpaste marks EVERYWHERE 

like pretty much every place except his fuckin mouth lmao

you sometimes show up to practise to surprise him and he always gets extra hype after that since you offer to pay for food afterward.

y’all like taking late night walks in the park

boy gets scared easily though so prepare for him to leap in your arms like a scene from scooby-doo

definitely have a lot of late night convos, some really stupid and some surprisingly deep.

he’s actually a very thoughtful and layered person?? like under that chaotic and disorganised persona 

don’t even get me started on cooking.

you REFUSE to let him anywhere near the kitchen 

so you usually end up doing the food prep or again y’all just eat out

You both watch volleyball games on TV often and get HYPE AS HELL and yell at the TV vvv loud

once you actually received a noise complaint.

sometimes Kags will drop by because he left something at practise that Hinata had picked up for him.

you and Kags get on pretty well tbh like you both respect each other

he has no idea how you can live with Hinata and often refers to you as a saint

but who wouldn’t want to live with this bby ball of sunshine?

[dekus-afro-pic]

Pardon My Hanahaki

Kirishima X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, injury, blood, angst angst angst, I might add fluff idk, yelling, fighting

“Y/N you suck ass bro” Kirishima trash talked trying to get you to lose.

“Shut up shark boy I’m kicking your ass” you pushed all types of buttons on your controller trying your hardest not to lose. The red haired boy then covers your eyes and knocks your controller out of your hands. “What the fuck you cheater”

“Player 1 wins” the TV in the common area announced.

“VICTORY” Kirishima jumps up and dances. You watch him smile and laugh and you swear your heart beats so hard you think it’s going to break out of your chest. You try to ignore it and roll your eyes.

You stand to go to the kitchen. But half way there you start going into a fit of coughs. It felt as if rose thorns were poking the inside of your throat. But when you pulled your arm away from your mouth you noticed your once green hoodie was now stained in red. Your eyes widen like you were a dear in headlights. Horrified, your eyes meet with bright red ones laced with worry. Katsuki voice boomed from the other side of the room.

“Oi y/n? Are you alright?” He asked loudly causing everyone’s eyes to shift towards you. Your eyes shoot daggers his way as you stood in the middle of the common area.

“I’m fine Ka-“ you were cut off by another fit of coughs causing you to hunch forward. Everyone watched in horror as rose petals and blood fell from your mouth. Kirishima stood there in shock along with everyone else.

“Pardon my Hanahaki” you chuckled awkwardly.

You weakly smile at all of your friends, avoiding a sets of eyes “I’ll just go rest. Maybe I’ll be ok then” you suggest, waving them all off as you quickly make your way to your room.

You fall backwards on your rose covered bed. Tears threaten to fall as you wrapped yourself in your comforter.

It’s been a month and the symptoms keep getting worse every day. How long do I have to live with this? Maybe I have to get the surgery. But then I’m putting Kiri and I’s friendship at risk. Your head was hurting from all of your thoughts crashing against one another. Your eyesight blurred by the minute as you coughed more and more.

“WAKE UP Y/N ITS 7:30” Your alarm blared. You groaned, not wanting to go to class today. You don’t remember falling asleep but you know you didn’t sleep long. After procrastinating for what seems like forever, you finally get ready for class. Just as you were leaving, the neon green hoodie caught your eye. You picked it up and watched as dry flower petals float to the ground. You place the clothing into your dirty clothes hamper and exit the room.

“Goodmorning Y/l/n” Iida greets as you walk into home room. Everyone’s looking at you as if you had came back from the dead. You bow at the class rep and sit in your assigned seat next to your best friend. You try your best to avoid everyone’s gaze but you can still hear the whispers. You set your head down inside your crossed arms.

“How long has she had it?” You heard tsu ask Mina.

“Your her best friend. Did you know?” Denki turned and asked Kirishima. You can feel him staring at you, burning holes into the side of your head.

“No. I didn’t know” he mumbled not taking his eyes off of you.

You lift your head just a little to peak at him. He gave you a faint smile that makes your face feels like it’s on fire. Flowers petals lay on your tongue as you hold in a cough. It wasn’t until he put his hand on your back when you became a coughing mess. Full flowers dripping wit blood covering your desk. You could barely breathe.

“Y/N!!?” Kirishima yelled. You fell out of the desk and landed on your back, flowers still spilling out of your mouth. Your eyes blurred as tears start to fall. And then everything goes black. “SOMEONE CALL RECOVERY GIRL. Ok y/n your gonna be ok. Stay with me”. Kirishima cradled your head. Tears forming in his own eyes. “I’m so sorry. I was so scared. I should’ve told you yesterday.”

“So it’s your fault she has it?” Mineta groaned, “Nice going Kirishima. Now one of the hot-”

Before the grape can answer Kirishima threw him to the ground, leaving your body with recovery girl as 2 men put you on a stretcher. Kirishima activated his quirk and starts punching the perverted boy. Everyone’s trying to get him off of a now bloody Mineta but, it wasn’t until Aizawa came and lifted him off of the poor grape that Kirishima stops.

“Oi shitty hair are you o-”

“Shut the fuck up Katsuki I’m fine” Kirishima yelled back. Bakugo’s jaw dropped when he heard his best friend curse like a sailor.

“Kirishima go calm down. Y/N is with recovery girl if you want to see her before surgery” Aizawa informed.

“Surgery? But if she gets the surgery then...”

“She’ll forget you. Now I suggest you hurry” Aizawa interrupted.

Kirishima bolted out of the classroom and made his way to clinic building. When he entered the room he saw you already hooked to an iv with breathing tubes in your nose. He slowly made his way to your unconscious body. Or so he thought.

“Eiji?” You whispered. Eyesight blurry, you can barely make out his bright red hair. Your voice was so raspy. Raspier than Dabi you thought. You watched as he took your hand in his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. “Hi Eiji”

“Why didn’t you tell me it was me” he sniffed

“Because I thought you already knew. Who’d you think-“

“Bakugo” he chuckled

“You’re a dork” you giggled. But only for a short time before you started coughing again. Petals falling out of your mouth. You watched as kirishima cleared his throat pulling something out of his mouth “Petals?”

“Y/N I love you too. I spent these months thinking you were in love with Katsuki when I should’ve just told you.”

You felt your chest get lighter and tears blurred your eyesight. “Ei” you whispered, “can I kiss you?”

“You don’t need to ask”. Kirishima moves closer to you and places his lips on yours. Your hands find their way to opposite sides of his face as you depend the kiss. Kirishima’s chest felt lighter as tears ran down his face. You pull away, smiling wide and wipe his tears away.

“Y/L/N” A doctor comes in with a clipboard in hand. “Oh. I see your heartbeat is back stable”

“Uh yea” you laughed awkwardly “do I still need to get the surgery”

Kirishima breath hitches as you asked that. He holds your hand tighter as both of you wait for his answer.

“Well since he returned the feelings- I assume he has?” The doctor looks towards Kirishima. Kirishima answers his question with a nod. “Well since he has returned the feelings the flowers should stop growing on their own. I’m going to need you to stay the night tonight. Just to be cautious”

“Am I allowed to stay with her?” Kirishima asked, stopping the doctor from walking out. The doctor gave a nod indicating that the red head is allowed to stay. The door closes as Kirishima turns his head back to you “I’m never leaving your side again.”

[theshinsun]

4, 5, 7, 10, 13, 15, 16, 17, 23, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 36, 39, 40, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 59, 60 [Which do you prefer between Knb and Haikyuu?] for the ask you recently reblogged please?

4. what are you looking forward to?

I'm looking forward to school starting again, even if it's just a weird hybrid of online/flipped classes, I miss my teachers and like, being productive. also if I'm in class I can't be worked borderline inhumane hours right…. right??

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

yeah, my roommate. she always either knows how to cheer me up, or blunders around trying to find the right method to the point that it's funny and I end up smiling anyway. she's really awesome like that.

7. what was your life like last year?

it had a lot of ups and downs. I had a great job, but the people I worked with eventually made it toxic and awful. I was doing really well in school, but stressed all the time, had an awesome relationship but kind of ruined it w my anxiety, and had serious roommate issues that made me afraid to leave my bedroom or even come home, sometimes. I remember a lot of very high highs and very low lows especially in the fall/winter of that year.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

well, yes and no… I don't tend to show a lot of emotion to begin with, but what I do show, I'm basically incapable of hiding, and apparently I'm a terrible liar bc my face gives me away.

13. how do you feel right now?

I'm pretty alright… kind of anxious, kind of tired, but that's just been the status quo lately tbh. 

15. personality description

already answered, so I suppose I'll elaborate. I'm simultaneously like, the most confident and the most self-doubting person I know... like there are certain things I'm super certain of and times when I feel no shame, and there are others where I'll just shrivel into a ball of anxiety and mortification and never come out. in the same vein, I'm simultaneously very trusting and open and very wary and cautious with people… it really depends on the situation and the person I think, I'm a very "you get out what you put in" person.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

yeah, I’m still holding onto things I’ve wanted to tell certain people tbh… I used to be a lot more forthcoming and not worry about the consequences of what I had to say, but now that I’ve seen what power words have to ruin relationships and impact people I tend to hold back quite a bit. 

17. opinion on insecurities

I have… many, but I understand that I shouldn't and am working on the ones I do have. I think feeling insecure can lead to some of the most ugly, toxic emotions and responses in certain people, so I'm trying to be conscientious of that.

23. fear(s)

um let’s see… jump scares, the dark (sometimes), corners I can’t see around, drowning/suffocating, pain, failure, losing control...

27. things I hate

wet socks, sunburn, acne, willful ignorance, bigotry, excessively negative people… uh… idk hate's a strong word that's all I've got

28. I'll love you if…

if you are genuinely, authentically yourself. if you’re the kind of person I can feel comfortable and at ease with. if you show me patience and compassion and make an effort to know me and let me know you… then yeah you’re never getting rid of me. 

29. favorite film(s)

The Road to El Dorado, Into the Spider-verse, Howl’s Moving Castle, Spirit, Life of Pi, The Truman Show, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

30. favorite tv show(s)

Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke, Avatar, Bojack Horseman, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Beastars, Dragonball Z

31. 3 random facts

already answered so here's three more

1. lately I've been carrying a fanny pack with the trans flag (there's an unfortunate but very tempting pun in there) and it's still got the security tag bc they forgot to take it off in the store so now every time I walk through the doorway to like, a drug store, I set off the alarm. I would get it taken off but it was sent to me from Chicago lol.

2. I've got a lot of outdoorsy skills bc of my gym class in high school, like rock climbing, kayaking, building fire, etc. I'm not super adventurous in my daily life but while I was in that class, I did all kinds of things.

3. for awhile I worked at a cat cafe, and helped take care of the 12-15 rescue cats we'd have there at any given time. I stand by that it was the best job I've ever had, but the people I worked with, not so much. 

33. something you want to learn

I really want to learn to skateboard or surf. it's been a dream for a long time and I have (suspiciously acquired) both, but my balance is shit and I have no patience for new skills lately, so...

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

already answered so here's three more

1. someday I want to have a pickup truck, I've been looking at, like, bright orange Tacomas and stuff, but of course I'd need a license to be able to drive one

2. I'd like to have a garden again, or maybe have a plot in a community garden. I've been growing nasturtiums and things on my balcony while in school but it's not quite the same

3. still waiting on the day I can get top surgery tbh. I just… want to be able to be shirtless at the beach and wear tank tops with nothing underneath, okay?

39. favorite sport(s)

ahahahaha… favorite sport you say. to play or to watch? 'cause I generally don't like to do either, tho I do like watching the folks who play volleyball on the beach. and considering one of my favorite shows is about volleyball and it was the sport I sucked at the least in school, maybe we’ll go with volleyball? but in general I’m not a sports person. 

40. favorite memory

I have a vague memory… of helping my mom in the garden of my old house when I was a little kid, mostly just digging in the dirt in the spring and being outside with my family… it's not very clear or specific but I think those days were some of the happiest of my life.

52. something I'm talented at

I'm good at learning the lyrics to songs, I've got over 1000 downloaded in my spotify library and I'm pretty sure I know the words to at least most of them. in a similar vein I'm good at learning the scripts to movies, and just… memorizing things in general especially audio.

53. 5 things that make me happy

already answered so here's some more!

1. songs with a light, strummy acoustic feel and creative lyrics… I've got a whole playlist for that vibe there's just something about songs like that that make me really calm

2. I really like being hugged or cuddled by my friends, just being in close proximity and hanging all over each other, makes me all warm and fuzzy inside tbh

3. I love driving with the windows down (I can't drive so I mean riding passenger lol), especially in the canyon by my house, through the forest and by the beach.

54. something that's worrying me at the moment

I’m so afraid things won’t go back to the way they were. ...that applies to multiple aspects of my life, not just with this pandemic but school, work, friends, relationships… it seems like I’m always chasing the past and dreading the future, so much that I can’t ever be satisfied in the present moment, and that’s something that’s been on my mind a lot. 

55. tumblr friends

@hadenxcharm, @spaztictwitch, @kurokonobaka, @taigainside, @hybristophilica and you could be too! all you gotta do is message me tbh I'm easy

56. favorite food(s)

strawberry cheesecake, fried shrimp, key lime pie, tuna steak

59. why I joined tumblr

I joined in 2012 bc my friends told me to, had a brief recession where I didn't use it at all, and a pretty lengthy sidetrack through the RP community, and then I came back bc of the friends I'd made here, and the unique-ness of the platform that I kinda can't find anywhere else. I'm stuck here just like the rest of y'all. 

60. ask me anything you want (which do you prefer between KNB and Haikyuu?)

now this is a tough one�� bc I really love them both a lot, and tbh in terms of quality of writing, art/animation, thematic music, character development and general story, I think Haikyuu!! has KNB beat, buuuuuut…. in spite of its flaws, I have such a soft spot for KNB and I keep coming back to it over and over again even as it falls into relative obscurity. It's the only thing I write for anymore and I'm still, somehow, utterly obsessed with the characters I first fell in love with over five years ago. KNB has problems, for sure, but the things it gets right (like setting a mood, strong emotional beats and character relationships) it knocks out of the park. I don't know if I could ever choose one over the other in terms of like, "you can only read/watch one of these and have to give up the other forever", but in terms of which has had the biggest impact, and still hits me the hardest, I'd probably have to go with KNB… but it's not by any means an easy choice.     

[nightwving]

i was tagged by @mollyweasly​ to answer these questions, tysm!! i did most of them the other night but got distracted and am posting them now lmao

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? idk, i’ll say maybe a 7 or so? honestly i’m feeling pretty decent for the first time in a while

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #ohfuck

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? that’s tough... i would never want to actually subject anyone to the horror or doing that with me, but i guess either tom holland or sebastian stan??

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? “a juxtaposed comedic disaster”

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? shit man i usually overshare pretty much everything, but i guess one thing would be that i got hit straight in the head by a golf ball while on a course with my parents when i was in middle school?? it came from way far out but miraculously didn’t seem to crack my skull or give me too bad of a concussion. my dad said it hit so hard that it sounded like it hit the pavement. now i have severe anxiety near golf courses and when things are flying near my head in general lmfao

6. what’s your wake up ritual? i check my phone real quick and then immediately go to pee and brush my teeth. depending on the day and whether or not i’d be late for class back when things were normal, i might shower lol. then either get dressed real quick and go to class or, these days, play video games or get on my computer

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? i’ll usually wrap up whatever i’m doing, make sure my fan is on, lock my door (when i’m at school), strip, take some melatonin, lay down, set my alarm, plug in and then get on my phone for a while until i (hopefully) get sleepy

8. what’s your favorite time of day? i love the evening around sunset or so but i also just love the night in general, especially when things get quiet in the am

9. your go to for having a good laugh? tiktok

10. dream country to visit? ummm... honestly canada 😂 or germany or something

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? last spring i spontaneously won an award in the department that i work for at school because my friends insisted that i get one for all the work i do on the newspaper and for my work study and stuff. they had to work some stuff around because i’m not actually a major and that’s who the awards are for, but they all agreed to give it to me at the ceremony and i was NOT expecting it whatsoever. it was one of the most amazing moments ever especially since i struggle with finding a niche and having faith in myself

12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers!!

13. vintage or new? i love vintage but that shit can be hard for me to find

14. who do you want to write your obituary? probably a friend idk i feel like my family would say some dumb corny shit lmao

15. style icon? i have quite a few but slash or duff mckagan from 80s GNR would be a couple ok don’t judge me. and john bender from the breakfast club

16. what are three things you cannot live without? internet, my ps4, and friends

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? chili or garlic powder

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i don’t even make dinner for myself lmao but if i really had the motivation, probs stan lee, carrie fisher, and my tiny son josh bassett

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? being institutionalized against my will and/or death before i’m ready/feel like i’ve done something worthwhile.

20. window or aisle seat? depends tbh

21. what’s your current tv obsession? i’m not really on a kick with it right now, but i’m slowly making my way through the clone wars in chronological order.

22. favorite app? tiktok

23. secret talent? uhh... i guess a lot of people would assume that i’m not athletic because of my weight but i’m actually naturally pretty sporty and can still be when i really feel like it

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? well i’ve tried to summon spirits in multiple different places, attempted to break into an asylum with my ex, done a pregnancy test with an old friend in a burger king bathroom... idk if those count as “adventurous” but that’s about all i got as of right now in my life

25. how would you define yourself in three words? eclectic, resilient, and real

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my denim jacket

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? also denim jacket lol

28. a superpower you would want? i debate this often... i think shapeshifting would be cool but also telekinesis

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? movies and stuff i guess

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? probably that it’s okay to do things at your own pace and to not be so hard on yourself when you aren’t doing things the same way as others

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? wear some better fuckin clothes lmao

32. a book everyone should read? bruh idk i don’t really read anymore, harry potter i guess 😂

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being honest and real but also someone that would’ve been there for you, or to have a good laugh with

34. how do you define beauty? beauty is like something that fills you with wonder and a sense of life or something

35. what do you love most about your body? uh... i have nice legs i guess 😂

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? find something that distracts you and makes you forget about all the shit. get lost in another world in movies/music/etc or just laugh with someone about anything

37. favorite place to view art? i like seeing it in the studios at school when people are still working on it

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? “somethin’ else”

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? ugh i would love to be a full blow pianist but i ain’t got the patience for that. i made it through a few periods of lessons throughout my life and three classes in college but i don’t have the capacity to do more than that. but i would also love to get even better with my voice. i’ve been taking classical lessons for the past couple of years but quit recently because of the anxiety that studio recitals and master classes give me. music major shit is rough

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i have one janky one behind my right ear that i got when i was 16, it’s a bird. but if i wasn’t a fatass bitch, i’d like to get more in different places on my body

41. dolphins or koalas? dolphins

42. what’s your spirit animal? it used to be a coyote according to a quiz years ago lol but it’s probably something different now

43. best gift you’ve ever received? probs my shitty first car that my dad got me last summer. but it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing

44. best gift you’ve given? shit i can’t even remember. i love doing personal little gifts for my friends. ACTUALLY i’d probably say the playlist i made for my friend last christmas because listening to music late at night was our thing

45. what’s your favorite board game? secret hitler is the BOMB

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow

47. least favorite color? probs brown

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore bitch, i’m broke

50. blow-dry or air-dry? air dry preferably but i’ll blow dry if i need to

51. pilates or yoga? neither lmao

52. coffee or tea? coffee unless it’s sweet tea

53. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? all of them

54. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark

55. stairs or elevators? elevators bih i got bad knees

56. summer or winter? winter, FUCK the sun

57. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? potatoes

58. a dessert you don’t like? a lot of things, i eat like a picky five year old. but i don’t like anything minty

59. a skill you’re working on mastering? singing. but also design-y stuff and videography

60. best thing to happen to you today? i went on a short walk with my mom earlier and there’s always a man across the street from us who sits on his porch every evening and sings with his guitar. i love it

61. worst thing to happen to you today? sitting through my zoom class lmao

62. best compliment you’ve ever received? idk, just when someone has generally called me beautiful? that makes me feel really nice

63. favorite smell? i love the smell of cookies or brownies in the oven. i’m also weird af and love strange things like basement smell and gasoline. also sharpies

64. hugs or kisses? hugs probably

65. if you made a documentary, would it be about? idk probably something about a niche community/town or some cult-y shit

66. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? avengers: endgame

67. lipstick or lipgloss? i don’t usually wear either very much but probably lipstick

68. sweet or savory? savory

69. girl crush? ana de armas or margot robbie

70. how do you know your in love? i feel like you’d do anything for that person even if it hurt you, and you think about them all the time and want to protect/be there for them

71. a song you can listen to on repeat? i usually avoid listening to things on repeat, but if i had to choose something... idk maybe africa by toto 😂

72. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? probs someone like elon musk or bill gates to see what it’s like to be that fucking rich and successful

73. what are you most excited for about this time in your life? just enjoying it and maybe honing some skills with all this extra time. also watching some movies on my watchlist

i’m tagging @verafarmiga, @northuldrra, @tmhnks, @spaceoddly, @breaksfastclub, and anyone else who wants to do it!! but feel free to ignore or just laugh at my answers

[i-looktothe-stars]

thanks @s-ongbir-d for tagging me!!

1) what is the colour of your hairbrush?

pink and green

2) what's a food you never eat?

mushrooms are awful and I hate them

3) are you typically too warm or too cold?

I'm usually really cold, my friends joke that I can't thermoregulate because I'll be wearing 5 layers (including 2 jumpers and a coat) and still be shivering)

4) what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

listening to the latest episode of rusty quill gaming! I binged it all in...less than a week(? idk time doesn't exist anymore) so now it's frustrating having to wait for new episodes

5) what's your favourite chocolate bar?

crunchies are top tier and I will fight about that if I have to

6) have you ever been to a professional sports event?

nope! my mum wanted to get tickets to the olympics in 2012 though

7) what's the last thing you said out loud?

"all the doors are open now" (I was singing along to red signal okay)

8) what's your favourite ice cream?

okay the Ben and Jerry's ice cream with the caramel in the middle is So Good, but I also like mint chocolate and coffee (not together obviously)

9) what's the last thing you had to drink?

...probably a blackberry tea this morning? (it's 8pm. hydration? I don't know her)

10) do you like your wallet?

ehhh it's fine, it's just this embroidered black purse with a zip. its juuust big enough to keep my card, train tickets, and some physical money, so it's good enough. I don't really need a bigger one

11) what was the last thing you ate?

I'm snacking on jaffa cakes as I write this

12) did you buy any new clothes in the last week?

for once, yes! I bought the very cool and sexy new magnus merch. unfortunately it's too big so I need to send it back and get a smaller size :/

13) what was the last sporting event you watched?

uhhh idk probably the races at my school's sports day 3 years ago? I skipped two of them because sports day is The Worst, then y11 ended early so I didnt have to watch it

14) what's your favourite flavour of popcorn?

my friends hate me for it but I looove salty popcorn. I can't stand toffee because it's the only one my sister likes, so I got sick of it when we had to share during movie nights when we were younger. (same with ham and pineapple pizza)

15) who was the last person you sent a message to?

my dnd discord! love you guys 💜

16) ever go camping?

my dad lives in wales so yes. a lot. it's fun when it's not raining?

17) do you take vitamins?

no but I probably should

18) do you go to church on sundays?

nope, I've only ever been to church for christingle services with brownies/guides, and that was mostly for the orange with sweets on it

19) do you have a tan?

ahahahahah no, I look like a dying victorian child. last time I tanned, it was because I got sunburned at pride and I had tan lines around my glasses

20) do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

love me some chinese takeaway! (although spicy meat feast pizzas are also very good)

21) do you drink soda with a straw?

only at fast food places, although I usually get iced tea instead of something fizzy

22) what colour socks do you wear?

I have multiple pairs of this one kind of grey fluffy socks, that's like basically half my sock drawer. the rest are either black, or super brightly coloured

23) do you ever drive over the speed limit?

I can't drive yet so no. i was supposed to get lessons for my birthday in march but uhh. that couldn't happen for obvious reasons. i probably wouldn't though? because the speed limit is a Rule and breaking a Rule is Bad

24) what terrifies you?

going outside, phone calls, answering questions in class, windows at night ("because what if there's Something there?")... more like what doesn't terrify me? although honestly, I'm not scared by horror media, as long as it doesn't have any jumpscares

25) look to your left! what do you see?

my book collection! (specifically my regular sized paperbacks. I have a pretty weird organisation system? I split paperbacks and hardbacks, then sort by size, colour and alphabetically by title in that order)

26) what chore do you hate?

washing up. Wet Food Bad

27) what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

australia I guess? idk, what else would i think of

28) what's your favourite soda?

probably apple tango? I don't really drink anything fizzy. except sparkling water because it's great fuck you

29) do you prefer going into fast food places or using the drive through?

none of my friends can drive yet either so going in

30) who was the last person you talked to?

my mum, she wanted me to come and look at the pond she made today

31) what's your favourite cut of beef?

I don't know?? I don't ask what cut it is when I have beef, I just eat it

32) what's the last song you listened to?

red signal by the mechanisms, because sometimes you just need a little bit of eldritch chanting to make everything okay

33) what's the last book you read?

stuff matters by mark miodownik! it's about material science and it's one of my favourite books

34) can you say the alphabet backwards?

lol no what kind of sorcery--

35) how do you like your coffee?

2 sugars and a bit of milk, but I prefer those sweet iced coffees you get at tesco. those were basically the only things getting me through sixth form until quarantine happened

36) what's your favourite pair of shoes?

ok I currently only have 2 pairs, my black and white trainers and a pair of heels that I haven't worn since new year 2019. so the trainers I guess

37) what time do you normally go to bed?

I usually go to bed around 10, but i stay up at least until midnight, usually closer to 2 am

38) what time do you normally wake up?

for school I wake up at 6:30 and get up at 7, because I physically can't get out of bed until I've snoozed my alarm at least 3 times. although at the moment,,,,,,,,,,,probably around 10:30? I set alarms to try and keep some kind of structure... and then sleep through them

39) do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

absolutely sunsets. I live about 10 mins away from the beach, so watching the sky change colour and the stars come out as the sun sets over the sea, with a mug of fruit tea warming my hands... fantastic

40) how many blankets are on your bed?

just one, but I have wayyy too many pillows

41) describe your dinner plates

my parents just get plain black or white sets from ikea or wherever

42) what's your favourite alcoholic beverage?

I Am A Minor And I Have Never Drunk Alcohol I Don't Even Know What Alcohol Is Ha Ha Ha

43) do you play cards?

no, although I used to play solitaire A Lot because it was one of the only games I had on my shitty purple ipod

44) what colour is your car?

train coloured (I don't have a car yet)

45) can you change a tire?

nope

46) what's your favourite province?

I'm english what does this mean

47) what's your favourite job you've had?

I've only really had 3 jobs: I answered the phone when my parents ran a takeaway from home, I work in their cafe every now and again doing washing up or sometimes waitressing, and I used to have a paper round. I Do Not like any of them, but the second is probably my favourite

48) what's the biggest scar you've got?

a surgery scar from my appendectomy 6 years ago,,,,,,,,,,,,I thought it was just really bad food poisoning for maybe an entire week

49) how have you made someone happy today?

I hope I made my friends happy? I really enjoy talking to all of you in our discord server, y'all make me smile so much and I hope I can return the favour

i tag @johnathansims @spookyhetero and @two-am-art if y'all want to get involved

[strawbebemilk]

50 QUESTIONS TAG 💫

tagged by @hakjeon (thank you lovely 💛)

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Daydreaming about being productive instead of being productive

2. What makes your day better?

Walking outside while listening to music

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

The weather is finally nice and I feel whole again

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Howl’s Moving Castle. Like....please

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Just kinda depends on what kind of advice need to be given I think. I don’t like suck at it though

6. Do you have a mental illness?

Weird flex original writer of these questions this is weirdly personal lmao

7. Have you experienced sleep paralysis?

Not legit paralysis but if I have severe enough nightmares once I wake up I can’t move due to fear. But like, I can still physically move I just don’t

8. What musician(s) inspired you the most?

Joe Hisaishi

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I fall in love every time I see a dog or a cat enjoying life

10. What’s your dream date?

I wanna go to a dog cafe/cat cafe. Someone take me there and I’ll ignore you the whole time in favor of the animals

11. What do others notice about you?

My height. None of you understand how many times I’ve been asked if I play basketball 😔

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

Biting the insides of my cheeks, popping gum

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Can’t talk to someone that doesn’t exist

14. How many exes do you have?

One I guess?

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Um. Which playlist? I make a new playlist like every week

16. What instruments can you play?

None rip

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Aesthetic photos that inspire me to write lol

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Knott’s Boysenberry Festival....lol

19. What’s your zodiac?

Leo~

20. Do you relate to it?

Sometimes yes, but mostly no. I think I relate to my rising Taurus sign a lot more

21. What is happiness to you?

Cats bathing in sunbeams, seeing your dog after a long time, spending time with friends and laughing till your face and ribs hurt

22. Are you going through anything right now?

I’m a stem major so I’m always going through it

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

When I was younger my brother and I had nerf guns and one day I looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger cause I didn’t think I had cocked the gun. Anyway. My eye hurt a lot afterwards

24. What’s your favorite store?

Any stationary store

25. What’s your opinion on abortions?

I’m pro

26. Do you have a bucket list?

Nope

27. So you have a favorite album?

I have many! But Eau de VIXX, and Love Me/Love Me Not by Honne come to mind rn

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Someone to buy me dinner (not in a romantic way I just want free food)

29. What are most peoples first impressions of you?

“I wonder if that girl plays basketball?”

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

No clue actually. Probably around 24 though I’m gonna guess

31. Where do you keep your phone when you sleep?

On my bed, it’s my alarm in the morning

32. What word do you say the most?

Oh gosh. Or fuck. One of the two

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

25 maybe? But that’s pushing it

34. What’s the youngest you would date?

20

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Basketball player. Oh I get theater major sometimes which like how dare they. I know I’m a Leo but don’t hurt me like that

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Anything I feel like listening to? Idk I don’t really have a set genre

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Oh I have no clue. Somewhere with free college maybe

38. What’s your current favorite song?

Symptoms by SHINee

39. How long have you had this blog?

About a year? This is a remade blog

40. What are you excited for?

In a few weeks I get to see my best friend again~

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener? Idk depends on the context

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Studied for an exam

43. What do you want for Christmas?

To have a family reunion without drama. Or no reunion, either works

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Writing and reading classes lol

45. On a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

5, I am tiiiiiired

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Hopefully working and owning two cats and a dog

47. When did you experience your first heartbreak?

In like fourth grade when my new cat told me to eat shit and die she was so MEAN. She’s nice now though and we’re chill and I love her

48. What age do you want to get married?

Lmao. The prospect of marriage is so out there for me. If it does ever happen, after grad school

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Veterinarian

50. What do you crave right now?

A nap. Oh and free time to do stuff I wanna do

tagging @babieken, @hakyunie, @taehyoungg, @ultvisual but feel free to ignore this lol 💫

[slipmethevicxdin]

(started writing this @) 3 am paranoid post

i think we just had another small earthquake about 10 minutes ago and jesus christ i hope it was because i really hope that can explain what just freaked me the fuck out

i haven't been able to sleep but i finally started getting tired around 3 so I put my phone down and just tried to sleep. after a few minutes is when i heard (what Im hoping was) the earthquake. of course stuff shakes so i saw the motion light from our front yard turn on, which i assumed was from the flag in front of it moving since ive seen it happen before so i didn't thing anything of it. we have a really shitty wooden bench on our front porch than i can't see from my bedroom window and i heard it creaking which again i assumed was from the earthquake. but then after it was over i still kept hearing it creak. i was like idk maybe it's just still shaking but then it started to sound like someone that was sitting on it was moving around?? im not the paranoid type and ive never thought that someone was breaking in so idfk i don't normally ever jump to that if i hear noises so i started to freak tf out because i always have my window open and the lights were off so i was like wtf if there's someone outside (the porch is right in front of my room, bench is only like 10 ft away from my window) they'd have to be really close to my window. i turned my bedroom light on because idfk i was just freaked out and i didn't close my window because i was freaked out about being heard??? why??? IDK??? i shut off my light pretty fast, idk why. i kinda just sat on my bed trying to look out the window and i swear i was still hearing creaking. i don't wake my parents up for any reason in the middle of the night and haven't since i was pretty young but i was like what the fUCK do i do if someone's actually there?? the number one reason i was freaking out was because i had already taken my contacts off and i literally can't see without them, therefore being TOO GOD DAMNED BLIND to find my fucking glasses because i don't remember where they were but i felt like i really needed to get up and check all the locks around the house so i went to the bathroom and just picked a random pair that's way stronger than my prescription so I've got fucked up vision on the opposite end of that spectrum and like??? NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT I'VE NEVER FELT THIS KIND OF SCARED BEFORE SO I WAS JUST DOING STUPID SHIT WITHOUT THINKING. like there's no way anyone could get into our house without me knowing because we have an alarm system so any windows or doors will beep if opened but i just was super paranoid so i just looked around but didn't see anything. i really felt like l needed to go outside and check the front porch but 1. im unarmed and 2. im at least 1 foot and 30lbs smaller than most people and currently visually impaired so im vulnerable af (size isn't something that actually intimidates me, I've gone toe to toe with someone legitimately 3x my size but not being able to see kinda counts far against me) but idk i just had to calm myself down. ive never freaked out for no reason over something like that because small noises don't startle me but the way it sounded 100% sounded like human activity to me. my brother is a security guard so i wanted to wake him up but if i was just being paranoid i didn't wanna risk waking up our puppy because we're trying to get her used to being alone & sleeping alone so if i wake her up she'll cry/scream.

i definitely can't sleep now so i set my lamp to the nightlight setting and turned my tv on so I'll just keep them going til i eventually fall asleep. i have to get up at 7:30 to take my mom to work since her car is with the mechanic and then i have to get ready to get my car smog checked and then head out to pomona to take my grandma to get an x-ray

s h i t dude why right now

this was super complicated to type out because my nails have grown out so much that it makes it so hard to type and ive had to retype like every other word. i got my nails done a while ago and i have to go get them removed so i can't really do it myself. so sorry if this makes even less sense because of words

why am i up stressed at (now) 4am. let a bitch sleep

[theincediblesulk]

Can you do the otp ask game for you and chris?? (I ship hella hard okay, you’re both cute and I want something like what you got someday) all of them? Or just the ones you’re comfortable with? Thanks!!~👾

I can try my alien friend. I can’t promise they’ll be accurate and I can almost guarantee that some are wrong cause I just don’t know how he might respond but I think it’ll be funny (and he can correct me later if I’m wrong like whatever) 

Since there’s a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more so that people aren’t scrolling forever.

1. Acts like they’re dying when they have a cold. 

This is me. 100%, I am always convinced I’m dying when I’m sick, just the most dramatic person ever when ill. Meanwhile he gets sick and his response to any of it is “It’s okay.” like.. just chill what the heck.

2. Gets mad at the TV and throws the remote. 

This one I’m not sure of? I know he’s not big into sports, and I only ever watch baseball and the Superbowl for the commercials. I don’t get angry though, not really, so I think I have to say that Chris would do this. And if he ever did I’d die of laughter. 

3. Gets the worst road rage.

Me. I have road rage as it, not like speeding and cussing people out, but I do yell at them when they don’t use signals and aren’t going the speed limit. My roommate laugh at me for it. 

4. Spends too much time in the bathroom on their phone. 

Ummm..? No idea. I don’t tend to use my phone in the bathroom except to play music while showering or if I get ready in the bathroom. So I kind of want to say him just based on that and I can imagine him taking forever while taking mirror selfies tbh

5. Packs the whole closet for an overnight trip. 

Me I’m sure. I over pack, because you never know if something will change or if you’ll need something cause the weather wasn’t what you thought it would be. I have a problem. 

6. Hates the in-laws. 

I think if either of our parents were ever referred to as in-laws, he’d be the one to hate them. My parents, especially my step mom and my step dad, since they can be very close minded and just jerks in general. 

7. Hits the snooze button…11 times. 

Me probably. I hate morning and will hit snooze for as long as I can ((I’m not sorry either))

8. Makes the other late for work. 

Again, probably also me since I snooze the alarm.  ((I would be sorry for that one)) 

9. Uses the television as a babysitter. 

Is2g if that’s ever a thing I will riot. Like, kids aren’t anything I’ve planned at this point in life and idk if he has ((that is not a conversation for right now anyways)) but my siblings plan on having kids and I have a lot of young cousins I babysit from time to time and THE TV IS NOT A BABYSITTER!! Don’t just stick kids in front of the tv, they need stimulation. Maybe for a 30 min show while you make dinner, but other than that no.

10. Takes in the stray dog. 

This is 100% me. He sent me a photo set one day that mentioned a dog up for adoption and I was ready to go to wherever that dog was and take them home. I have no chill. 

11. Suggests a 3am trip to McDonald’s. 

That would have to be him. I will suggest 3am trips, but never to McDonald’s

12. Leaves their shoes out for the other to trip over. 

Probably me, sometimes I forget to put my shoes up. 

13. Can’t make up their mind when it comes to dinner. 

I’m an indecisive person, so this is also me. Like, if you give me suggestions I can choose but I cannot just pick from nothing. 

14. Needs to be reminded of all their appointments. 

I’m not sure. I write all my things down in a planner, but Chris sets reminders for himself when he has appointments (from what I understand) so.. maybe both of us to an extent?

15. Bribes the other into doing chores, getting out of the house…and taking a shower. 

This might also be both of us. I know that I can forget to do things when I’m really focused on something and I won’t want to stop, I can also avoid going anywhere like the plague. I think he can be the same way, and I know he would prefer to stay in if that was an option.  So yea, we both bribe each other. 

16. Picks the movies. 

He has to pick. I cannot ever choose one movie, I can choose like 3 and then from there someone else has to make the choice. So he picks. 

17. Takes the safety steps when building a pillow fort. 

Probably me. I’m always worried about something going wrong and I’m really careful with things, to the point of annoyance sometimes. 

18. Kisses the other’s injuries better. 

Again, probably me. It’s the way that works. Everything is fixed when a little kiss is given.

19. Is addicted to angry birds, game of war, candy crush, temple run, or flappy bird. 

I want to say Chris. I don’t play many games and I don’t keep them on my phone. They’re on my tablet so it’s definitely a leisure thing. but I don’t play often enough for it to be a problem. 

20. Kills the spiders. 

Chris has to kill the spiders! Or take them outside. I can’t. I won’t go into a room when there’s a spider in it, it’s not happening. That’s all him. 

21. Hogs the blankets. 

Oh me, I’m always cold and I like to wrap up like a burrito at night of whenever really. 

22. Takes pranks too far. 

Probably also me. Not in a harmful way, but in a “this is really annoying and you need to stop way”

23. Makes the dirty jokes. 

Probably Chris. I’m not very good when it comes to dirty jokes, and I have no idea if he even makes them, but I think I’d have to say him. 

24. Keeps a piggy bank. 

I do! I actually have one at home and I have a jar that I keep money in here at school. 

25. Has no problem having ice cream for breakfast. 

Chris. I have a lot of problems with it, the main one being I’m lactose intolerant so I really shouldn’t have dairy products. Hasn’t stopped me but I shouldn’t 

26. Gets a tattoo when they’re drunk. 

Me. I want to get one, and if my inhibitions were lowered enough nothing would stop me I’d just do it with no planning. 

27. Trips over their own feet. 

Also me. I am a klutz.

28. Makes the other go for a walk. 

Chris. He likes being outside more than I do, and I’ve things where he’s mentioned hikes and what not so I think it’s something he’d enjoy. 

29. Whines until they get what they want. 

I don’t know? I don’t really whine about things and I’m not sure about him.  I’ll annoy you to no end to get something but I won’t whine. 

30. Tries to act tough but really isn’t. 

This is me. I am not tough or scary, as many people have pointed out to me. I try though! 

31. Talks the most, says the least. 

Probably me if I’m honest. I type a lot of words but there’s not much to say. 

32. Talks the least, says the most.

I think that’s Chris. There’s not many long messages from him, but he gets his point across in few words and when it is like that the messages really go deeper. 

[canaryatlaw]

Alright, it’s currently 8:53 pm Illinois time (we’re still in Indiana so my phone thinks it’s 9:53, it didn’t transition for the whole day until like now apparently and is probably supposed to have changed back by now but here we are), we’re in the car on the way home from the con and I’m starting to write now because I need to go to bed ASAP when I get home because I once again could not fall asleep FOR MY FUCKING LIFE last night and of course I had to get up early so we could road trip to the con so I got like an hour and a half of sleep??? The last time I remember looking at the clock was at 5:08 am and my alarm was set for 6:45 am, so....it wasn’t good. But yeah, today was really good despite my lack of sleep. I did wake up when my alarm went off at 6:45 am, I had a message from Jess saying to give her like 10-15 more minutes than we initially planned so I got ready and waited for her to come pick me up. We got gas and then McDonald’s, breakfast sandwich and coke if I wanted to stay awake all day lol. And so we were off to Indiana for the con. The drive there was fairly unremarkable, we stopped at a rest stop for a minute but that was about it. We made it into Indianapolis around like 11:30 their time, parked in the parking garage next to the con center and got to the con. Our drive through Indianapolis revealed that today was definitely their pride parade and with a little more research we probably could’ve done the parade and the con, but oh well, not much we can do about it now. According to the online schedule the photo op for the guy Jess had a photo with was at like 1:20, so when we arrived we had to wander through the giant con center at first and then redeem our tickets and actually get to the main hall, where we located the photo op people and asked about the schedule.

It’s a good thing we checked, because he was not in fact at 1:20 anymore, he had gotten to what was first 4:45 and would then move to 5:45 in not too long. So obviously this was a bit of a curveball, since according to the earlier schedule we probably would’ve headed out a lot earlier. So now we have some time to kill. Well we wanted to see the guests anyway, and the first I wanted to see was the kid from Shazam, Asher Angel, mostly because I wanted to go on about how much positive depiction of foster children in media means to the kids out there that are constantly thought of as a problem and nothing more. He was sweet, definitely a teenage boy lol you could tell it was one of his first cons, but he was doing alright and was nice to talk to. He definitely looked bored at other points throughout the day which I can’t really blame him for, he is a teenage boy and the amount of attention the celebrities were getting at this con was definitely less than expected. Like, there were pretty much no lines for everybody....the entire con was a lot smaller than expected. So that was interesting to deal with. After that though we went and said hi to the guy Jess wanted to see from Shield and she got a selfie with him, he was really nice too. At that point we wandered the show floor for a while, Jess unsurprisingly found some kpop merch (it’s generally among the anime booths at this point) so she bought some of that which was cool. We ended up leaving the con center to get some food because con food is always trash and overpriced, and we didn’t have anything else better to do lol.

So we ended up going to steak and shake, which was a giant joke because the last time we went to a con in Indiana we got into a fight that kind of climaxed in us ending up going to steak and shake for dinner despite my request that we go literally anywhere else because my acid reflux was really bad that day, but that’s a whole other story we won’t go into, just know the fact that we ended up there was a giant fucking joke. I got a cheeseburger and a strawberry shake, and we killed some time there for a while before finishing up and walking back to the con. We returned to the main hall and ended up saying hi to John Wesley Shipp, this con was like prime for just getting to say hi to celebs because so many of them were standing around lol. He was cool, we got back to the Shield guy to get an autograph for Emily, and right next to him was Dot-Marie Jones, and I recalled that she had been at Clexacon and afterwards her wife had posted about how awful the con had been to them on Instagram and she was free so I was like if we approach this correctly we could get some quality tea about Clexacon out of this interaction lol. She had stickers that they were selling for $5, so we bought a sticker (they ended up giving us two) and were like “oh we just wanted to say hi, we wanted to see you at Clexacon but we heard it wasn’t great for you guys?” and that basically worked perfectly and launched a like, 20 minute conversation that consisted of all the terrible shit Clexacon had done to them and like, it was bad. The biggest revelation was definitely that the con wasn’t paying any of the celebrities to be there (I realize a lot of people aren’t privy to how the financial arrangements for cons work so that might not seem like a big deal but it is HIGHLY unusual and I couldn’t believe they got that many guests without paying any of them) and on top of that wanted a cut of their autograph money and shit which is just.....wild. It was a really good conversation though, not just about Clexacon but on how the voices of actual queer women should be the ones being centered, not just straight actresses that portray them but don’t live the stories (and we all know I adore my actresses, but it’s not the same) and like Clexacon had just been so shitty to her when she was one of the only actual queer women there and they could’ve had so much more but they were clearly only motivated by greed. She’s a super lovely person too and it was just overall a great conversation and it was really a pleasure to talk to her.

After that, or some time around then, the timeline might not be perfect here but I’m doing my best lol. We basically had nothing to do but I wanted some water so we walked over to their food court area and got some water bottles with the intention of just sitting at the table there for a while, which we did, but they ended up doing some like, pre-podcast launch media session with these three ladies who are launching a cold case podcast about this case from Indiana where this little girl was killed and I mean I only listened to their info about the case but I’m pretty fucking sure the abusive stepfather’s the one who did it (let’s be real, if the kid of an abusive parent dies, there is an extremely high chance the parent did it, and that chance actually goes up further by the fact that he was a stepparent, this is the reality of child abuse that I work with) so idk how much of a cold case there is to investigate there but Jess found them on twitter and they currently had like 18 followers lol so I mean maybe they’ll find their stride and build up a fan base. After their presentation and a little while of more time chilling out we ended up going back to the con area and seeing John Glover, whom we paid $20 to get a selfie with, he was again so delightfully bizarre and just absolutely hilarious to interact with and talk about Shazam with. So that was cool, and after that we chilled outside the main hall for a bit until Jess decided it was time to line up for the photo op, at which point I wandered for a bit and eventually ended up at Vanessa Marshall’s table who I kinda wanted to meet, she’s a voice actress who’s been in a ton of stuff but most relevant to me was that she did Black Canary for Young Justice and recently did an interview with the young justice podcast I listen to that was just fucking amazing about self-acceptance and that really just made me want to meet her so I paid $20 for a selfie with her and ended up having a lovely conversation with her.

After that I wandered a bit more and ended up buying a $5 “damaged” piece of Wonder Woman fan art (it was in the damaged pile but I couldn’t see anything wrong with it and it was a damn good deal) and ended up buying an adorable print of Goose the cat that was $10 and is going to go great on my Captain Marvel closet door. After that I reunited with Jess after her photo op and waited a little while longer waiting for the print while talking with a nice couple we’d previously spoken to at a con at some point lol. Once we got the photo we headed out, left Indianapolis and headed straight to the Cracker Barrel we’ve definitely been to before lol. There was a little bit of a wait but we got in in like ten minutes or so. Got our classics but they sadly we slightly less quality than we’ve previously had, but still mostly good. After dinner I raided their candy section very lightly and Jess acquired a giant stuffed goat I said I’d buy her so we paid the bill and bought that and headed out.

From there we’ve been driving, stopped once to go to the bathroom in the rain, but it mostly stopped raining so we didn’t have to deal with too much of it. The highlight of the drive home was definitely realizing Jess’ nemesis who was at the con was actually in the car behind us, and we proceeded to cut her off like three different times and it was great, I’m pretty sure she was still behind us when I started writing this and she was behind us until we hit the greater Chicago area but now we’re pulling up to our neighborhood that’s having it’s massive Nordic fest right now (“midsommarfest”) which looks pretty wild right now, but I’ll be home in a second and probably finish this off right before I go to bed, after I shower. My phone now said it’s 10:47 pm, though it should say it’s 9:47 pm Chicago time, so we’ll have to see for how much longer we’ll have to deal with that. But I’m about to get out of the car so I’ll leave this here.

Okay, it’s 10:54 pm currently, though my phone still says 11:54 pm lol. But I’m all showered and ready to go to sleep, and boy am I sleepy, so I’ll be going to bed now. Goodnight my friends. Hope you had a lovely Saturday as well.

[kpopcinnamonswirlroll]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @abangtanfangirl​ ^-^

1.       What takes up too much of your time?

Work, Youtube, Anxiety/Depression

2.       What makes your day better?

Music, sleep, cuddling with loved ones(without them teasing me for wanting attention)

3.       What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

umm... it’s only like 1:30pm..? I guess having ice cream for breakfast..?

4.       What fictional place would you like to go?

Hmm... probably Hogwarts.

5.       Are you good at giving advice?

I guess so? A lot of people repeatedly come to me for advice, even for subjects I have no personal experience with (ie dating, sex, relationships, how to run a business). I guess I’m just blessed with wisdom.

6.       Do you have any mental illnesses?

Yeah, it’s great, lemme tell ya

7.       Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

I don’t think so, if I did I was a baby.

8.       What musician inspired you the most?

I guess BTS..? Idk, I don’t really think about this.

9.       Have you ever fallen in love?

I... don’t know. Like, I get crushes on people very easily, I get lovestruck/starstruck quickly; like if I spend a couple hours getting to know someone after I already knew I was attracted to them, there is a really good chance of me just going 😍 & wanting to date them asap. When it comes to my romantic feelings, I’m fairly impulsive. However, I’m not sure if I can call these emotions love.

10.   What’s your dream date?

I’m not sure. Normally I’d say “cuddling in bed/on the couch watching movies/youtube videos”, but that’s most definitely what will happen if someone dates me. So, I’m gonna go with this instead; Go on a trip. It could be nearby, or we could go to a different country. I think it’d be cool to travel somewhere together, do some sightseeing, go shopping, eat food from that culture(if we do go to a different country). It’d be nice to relax and spend time with the person I care about most; without the worries & stressors of everyday life. Cuddling is a must, tho. I must be showered in physical affection. Holding hands, back hugs, & cute little kisses, no matter where we go.

11.   What do other people notice about you?

I’m not quite sure. I’ve had people say I’m cool. For the most part, it seems to be a consensus that I’m a sweet, smol little baby bean/crab/koala/bunny that must be protected.

12.  What is the annoying habit you have?

I have somehow developed the belch of a trucker & idk how to get rid of it. Even if I only had 6 oz of soda, I will burp, and it will be a gross trucker one. I hate it.

13.  Do you still talk to your first love?

Nope.

14.  How many exes do you have?

Gotta have dated someone to have an ex.

15.  How many songs are on your playlist?

Lmao which one? (This is just gonna be the ones on Spotify that I hearted: 478. I’m not gonna sort it by genre. Too much work lol.)

16.  What instruments can you play?

I can sing. Does that count?

17.  Who do you have the most pictures of?

Kim Seokjin... 😅

18.  Where would you like to go before you die?

I want to go to Asia before I die.

19.  What is your zodiac?

Gemini/Cancer! I’m technically a Gemini, but my sun is literally like half in Gemini & half in Cancer.

20.  Do you relate to it?

I relate to Cancer more than Gemini, but I have aspects of both, so yes.

21.  What is happiness to you?

Sleeping, Music, and Cuddling

22.  Are you going through anything right now?

Define “going through anything”.

23.  What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?

Ummm.... I dunno. I made a few bad ones when I was 17.

24.  What is your favorite store?

I like Barnes & Noble, but I also like Torrid...

25.  What is your opinion on abortion?

I am pro-choice. Idk about which trimester the person should get it in. Even if I don’t always agree with it, I still think someone should be able to choose whether to get one or not.

26.  Do you have a bucket list?

Nah. I might make one in the future. idk.

27.  Do you have a favorite album at the moment?

Surprisingly, I do! I really like Attention by Shinedown at the moment. I love all the songs on there.

28.  What do you want for your birthday?

Sleep, a Painless Death, A Nap in a Bottle™️, Money, someone that likes me back & actually wants to date me.

29.  What are most people’s first impression of you?

I’m pretty big/thick/fat & I don’t normally smile at strangers(unless I’m at work #CustomerService), so I probably intimidate them at first.

30.  What age do you seem according to most people?

A lot of people think I’m a bit older than I actually am. My boss thought I was 21; I’ll actually be 20 in June. I do have a baby face, tho. So online people think I’m younger than I really am. (Someone said I was 9 🙄)

31.  Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my desk near my bed. I use it as an alarm clock and it charges in the alarm clock that my brother got me for Christmas. It’s just figuring out how to set the alarm on the clock that’s a pain in the ass, plus, I have BTS songs set for alarms on my phone so I’d rather wake up to BTS singing in the morning. (jskskjsksjskjsks I’m choking. thanks for writing this for me. XD)

32.  What word do you say the most?

Tbh I think I make random noises & scream in fear/surprise more often than any word I’d normally say. Maybe “I can’t English”, otherwise the screaming/noises.

33.  What’s the oldest age you would date?

Realistically, I think I’d do 3-4 years older than me(since I’ll be 20 in June, 22-24). Just because I haven't had any experience with dating, so I’d want them to be closer to my age.

34.  What’s the youngest age you would date?

18

35.  What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Something with numbers

36.  What’s your favorite music genre?

I dunno. I listen to whatever I like. I don’t really care about the genre.

37.  If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I am very happy living in the U.S. rn. If anything, I’d wanna live in Spain, I was there for 2 weeks & I loved it(also I can speak some Spanish), or Britain.

38.  What is your current favorite song?

RIght now I really like Kill This Love by BlackPink, What I Need by Hayley Kiyoko, Perdido En Tus Ojos by Don Omar, All I do by Monsta X, & BABE by HyunA

39.  How long have you had this blog for?

Idek, bro. 

40.  What are you excited for?

My birthday.

41.  Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener.

42.  What is the last productive thing you did?

Dropped off a prescription at the pharmacy this morning.

43.  What do you want for Christmas?

A significant other

44.  What class do you get the best grades in?

Math classes & Economics.

45.  On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling?

3. I’m tired, suffering, & have been put through the wringer.

46.  What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully getting my own place to live in.

47.  When did you get your first heart broken?

Age 8. I was a silly 3rd grader.

 48.  At what age do you want to get married?

26 or 27 sounds good to me.

49.  What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be famous. A singer/songwriter.

50.  What do you crave right now?

Death, a nap, food, love, cuddles

Tagging: @btssavedmylifeblr @holy-kpop-hoe @angstchim @mxrvelspidey @requestfairy

omg i started this 2 hours ago

[studysnooze]

i kind of felt like i needed to make this post because i have been stressed out of my actual mind as of late and that isn’t helping me with my anxiety so i thought i would share some tips with you guys- friends in hopes that this helps you and also in turn helps me bc i am s t r u g g l i n g right now haha 

If you find yourself in panic attack/mental breakdown situations (during studying, sleeping, whenever):

1. TAKE A DEEP BREATH: this is legit some of the most underrated advice but this is so so so so so important. i often find myself holding my breath without thinking and even if you look stupid forcing yourself to breath between shaking and crying just do it. please. you will instantly feel better because bottling things up is legit the most toxic thing you could do to yourself

2. if the resource is there: talk to someone. talk to a trusted adult like a teacher, mentor, counselor, or even your parents. i know how it is: you might not trust them, believe me- i have had a fair share of adults who have let me down from time to time and trust me, once you find someone that is perfect for you to talk to, you will cherish that person for the rest of your life. I will never forget my first middle school counselor, i don’t know her name mainly because i was having a panic attack when i met her but i’ll remember her face and her hospitality forever. and she was a stranger to me at the time: sometimes you need that outside stranger to talk to you know? that way, you get a less biased? (idk weird wording there but you get it) response

3. FOOD AND WATER: i cannot tell you how bad i am at drinking water like it’s hopeless at this point but its SOOO important for you! pleaseee drink water. i think water tastes like nothing and it’s pointless to drink it but that is really crazy thinking so don’t follow me on that please because i am seriously working on it these days and my skin has started to clear up majorly but i also feel so much better in general? like hydration does wonders i’m serious- you might not even notice but it’s doing something nice at least to your body. food food food food food please eat something. i know sometimes when i dont eat a few meals because i am so caught up in work, i forget what it feels like to be hungry and that is absolutely ridiculous, do not skip that many meals. i don’t care if your grade depends on it tomorrow for chem or that you need to finish your slide for that group project: if you cannot remember what you ate last literally drop whatever you are doing and get a freaking granola bar- not even- get a sandwich, some chips, and a water or a salad or some carrots and hummus LITERALLY ANYTHING put it in your mouth and chew it slowly and savor your food and thank the universe that your food is making you more energetic to complete your work because honestly not eating makes you feel so weak and it shuts you down. and you know what? when you shut down, it gives you more room to be stressed and anxious because that happens to me too many times in my life and it is the worst feeling in the world: being anxious, sleep deprived, weak :( its not okay and i need my people to stop suffering so eat your carrots kiddos❤

4. nap! this is also extremely simple but soooo underrated. literally nap for like 10 minutes and you will feel SO GOOD afterwards. i know it takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep because that’s just me but as soon as i feel sleepy, i turn on my alarm. shutting your brain off for a few minutes does wonders: it actually recharges and resets your brain for a little bit and as long as you don’t sleep for too long, you will wake up more motivated than ever before! 

4.5 going off of the previous point: if you are truly tired, sleep. sleep. sleep. i cannot tell you this enough. there is absolutely no point and no shame in going to bed if you have a headache, your eyes are closing and you cannot focus anymore. plain and simple: it’s just a major waste of time and you will have to end up studying it again anyways. i try to get to bed around 11 which i know is already pushing the late boundaries but if you go to sleep and really, truly, need to finish your work in the morning, wake up a couple hours earlier and finish it quickly- maybe catch a few more z’s. it’s better to get your hours in earlier and wake up feeling better than going to bed at 4:30 (cough thanks nonso) and waking up 3 minutes before school because you shut off your alarm. i’m only telling you guys my stupid mistakes just so you know there are consequences to not following this advice people- this is first hand experience haha

5. TAKE YA MEDS KIDDOS: that’s literally it, you may have forgotten and now are in deep doodoo with yourself whoops set a reminder

if you have trouble sleeping/resting at night or whenever:

1. i have had trouble staying asleep throughout the night for the past few years now. i’m not sure how it started but my brain is just too hot wired these days to stay put: there are some quick things i do when i wake up shaking, panicking, restless, miserable, whatever in the middle of the night: 

 listen to rain sounds on spotify

listen to my favorite podcasts (i gotta make a post about this, message me if you want podcasts like asap after reading this something)

watch “planet earth” or “round planet” on netflix-  round planet is by BBC so there’s that old british guy talking and i think it’s nice :) overall, it’s super therapeutic i highly recommend 

make a warm cup of tea or milk: i usually put honey and cinnamon in my milk or honey in my tea and it’s quite nice i think, it makes me sleepy again

sometimes i wrap myself in extra blankets and cuddle with more stuffed animals to help me fall/fall back asleep. i think there is some nostalgic feeling about being tucked in and being all warm and safe that makes me calm down again i’m not sure why 

if you’re having trouble focusing while studying (i got through this at least once a day omg):

1. take a breather! drinks a glass of cold water, stare around the room for a bit, walk around the neighborhood or the house or the library or wherever you are for a bit- get that blood flowing again

2. look at something motivational! i have a motivation tag kind of thing on my page called #feelgood so you can check it out if you want haha but there are tons of motivational videos and posts from the studyblr community so :)

3. study something you are interested first! this is by far the most useful study advice i have ever received because it motivates me to subconsciously focus my brain and keep me in a “grind” kind of mood 

3.5 related to the previous point, study in small chunks! also switch up on the subject if you get bored.

4. do a hobby! i LOVE reading for fun during study breaks or when i can’t focus especially when i’m super interested in the book because i get sucked into that universe and after i finish a chapter i want to finish more work in order to keep reading- it’s great. i also love doodling intricate designs on my moleskine to keep my busy and i also like writing poems or editing photos. just find something that is calming to you in order to give your brain a break! once you have that little reset, i promise you will feel better going back to work 

5. stop studying? sometimes i burnt out in the middle of studying and you just have to realize when you’ve reached your limit for the night/day so just stop and get some sleep, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping or taking a rest just a reminder <3 and sometimes that means you can get back to your work later or not and that’s okay :)

along with my finals series, i’m going to dedicate an entire post for reasons as to why you should stop comparing yourself so look for that in the next couple of days or so :) 

and just a reminder that you can do it! no matter your barriers you WILL overcome them with flying colors and you will have an amazing summer very soon✨

love,

Nonso

[clarklexlois]

I was tagged by @bihercs thank you <3

im tagging @lexkent @storyshark2005 @clexoflegends @chase2452 @xlander @doomism @lonesomevillain please don’t feel like you have to do this if you are tagged it’s just for fun so you don’t have to if you don’t want <3

1. name / nickname: Connor. My nickname is Conch.

2. gender: man but in a cool transgender way 😎🏳️‍⚧️

3. star sign: Gemini sun Aquarius moon and Libra rising. Air sign trifecta.

4. height: 5′6

5. time: 7:26pm

6. birthday: June 4th

7. favorite band: The Beach Boys

8. fav solo artist: Lady Gaga or Britney Spears

9. song stuck in head rn: no songs stuck in my head but the last song I listened to was For No One by The Beatles

10. last movie: In & Of Itself on hulu (tho this is a stage performance so not really a movie, it was alright good message but a bit dramatic).

11. last show: Community

12. when i created this blog: 2014, I unfortunately deleted my first account that I made back in 2012. I also have a whole separate account that I made before I found out we can make side accounts but I no longer log into that one.

13. what i post: Mostly Smallville and clex, though I do reblog stuff about other DC media its just superfam and batfam.

14. last thing i googled: Marvel characters with rr initials. yes I am in love with richard rider and reed richards and thought “hey maybe there’s more rr characters for me to love”

15. other blogs: @novadarkhawk is my Marvel side account @xxxholics for anime @twwiinaquariium for Homestuck (yes I am still active in this fandom I know) and @smallvilleclex where I post scenes between Clark and Lex in Smallville I have some other accounts im not active on and some old urls im saving too

16. do i get asks: Yes sometimes and I love them!

17. why i chose my url: my ot3!!! I ship all variations of Clark/Lex/Lois and love them in a poly :D I named the ship cloix so if you ever see me say that this is what im referring to

18. following: 500

19. followers: 371

20. average hours of sleep: oh man this is all over the place for me hmmm. I work an overnight shift so im usually sleep during the morning into the afternoon, but if I have day plans I get up earlier so sometimes I get only 4-6 hours. When I have no plans I wont set an alarm and I’ll sleep for 8-10 hours.

21. lucky number: 4 I guess. 7 is my favorite tho!

22. instruments: I am unfortunately musically inept

23. what am i wearing: black basketball shorts, a red Crashtones band shirt, and my slippers.

24. dream job: uuughh I literally have no clue what I want to do. Don’t want to do what im doing now for the rest of my life tho.

25. favorite food:  um bacon, hotdogs, salad, spaghetti, fried rice.

26. free space: I dont know what to say

27. nationality: American

28. favorite song: Monday, Monday by The Mamas & The Papas

29. last book i read: UM its actually been years since I last managed to finish a book. anyway last book I started was Last Shot: A Han and Lando Novel, last manga I read was Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle vol.5

30. top three fictional universes i would like to live in:  Justice League Action universe idk why it just seems goofy and fun. Maybe Middle Earth but I dont want to go on any quests I just want to be a cool elf. And I guess another universe where I get to be something cool like a vampire but without all those stupid rules that Vampire stories usually have.

template under the cut!

1. name / nickname:

2. gender:

3. star sign:

4. height:

5. time:

6. birthday:

7. favorite band:

8. fav solo artist:

9. song stuck in head rn:

10. last movie:

11. last show:

12. when i created this blog:

13. what i post:

14. last thing i googled:

15. other blogs:

16. do i get asks:

17. why i chose my url:

18. following:

19. followers:

20. average hours of sleep:

21. lucky number:

22. instruments:

23. what am i wearing:

24. dream job:

25. favorite food:  

26. free space:

27. nationality:

28. favorite song:

29. last book i read:

30. top three fictional universes i would like to live in:

[ineffboyable]

Okay, I have been casually catsitting (not doing it as a business) for over a decade. Usually when people take vacation, but sometimes in recent years mid-day check-ins on I'll or elderly pets. I normally don't get too bogged down by the inconvenient parts of the job (lots of time driving, mediocre pay, stressful communication, being nitpicked or reprimanded when petowner has really specific requests) because I'm not able to have cats of my own and I genuinely enjoy seeing my fireball clients (most of the time.)

However, I'm noticing I'm way burnt out and I wonder if anyone can relate...

I think it all started when Christmas 2019 I agreed to sit for two clients who live 30+ minutes apart. I don't mind working over the holidays too much but wow I was basically spending the entire day driving for four or five days bc both people wanted 2-3 visits. One client does tip me, but overall getting $15 for what ends up being over an hour of work+commute with no gas included. And while sitting for one cat and having to drive over twice a day is a little stressful, doing it between two places is just......no.

BUT while I refer to the two families I sit for as clients, they are both friends of my family. This adds such a weird stressful dynamic. I would raise my rates or turn one client down or say I can only do one visit, but there's a guilt/anxiety around it bc I know they don't have the money to pay more and I know their situation in life and that finding an agency to come in would be stressful. But I also realize that not standing up for myself creates a level of resentment that simmers under the surface and boils up whenever some minor thing happens (note asking to please not leave dishes in the sink, passive aggressive text from client, etc.)

I guess at the end of the day, I'm not some 16 year-old making some money to get fro yo when I go out with my youth group anymore (thank God)... I'm a grown woman who does as thorough of a job as I can taking care of your pets and usually spends way too much time b/c I feel bad that they're alone and also have little sense of time. I'm essentially a top of the line artist giving you bargain basement prices.

Don't get me wrong...mostly my clients do say thanks and sometimes I do fall short. Another difficult thing about casually sitting for people you know is that they are in the mindset that you are a petsitter who will follow their exact schedule for their pets when irl your accommodating them and working them into/bending your existing schedule. But overall I feel locked into...I have to always say yes to requests for sitting and I can't take breaks.

Lately, I've been doing check-ins for one client who went back to work. I'm still working my retail job so I'm bending over to accommodate her and the kitties. Driving 15 minutes to spend thirty minutes letting cats outside bc she is now afraid to leave them outside which inevitably turns into 45 bc you can't herd cats back inside and then having to drive 30-40 to my job bc I'm further out of my way.... all for $15. Idk. I just feel like all my labor in undervalued but I also don't see myself being worth enough to expect more. All the things I love and have considered working in just don't pay: museums, music, mental health, writing, religion, animal care. Sometimes I feel like crap or even scared bc I don't know how I'll make it down the road when I'm not living with family. This turned into something else but...

Anyways, today I had agreed to go do a check-in, but I sprained my ankle three weekends ago and spent this week working standing up (womp womp) so it had ballooned up again this morning. I was going to soldier and go, but I had this growing sense of "no. I need to rest my damn foot and I am mentally and physically exhausted and this is my day off anyways why am I putting my well-being after a check-in that is not totally necessary." So I text her And explain about my ankle, and she's just like okay that's fine I'm coming home early." And I'm like wtf you're not sorry About my ankle?? Do you think I'm lying to get out of this? I am doing all this as a favor to you and the cats bc the paycheck is sad for his draining this whole thing is.

And the trouble with knowing this person in addition to have a sort of business transaction with them is that I start making excuses for their rude behavior bc I know they're very stressed etc. Or as I mentioned before, I guilt myself into saying yes to jobs I don't want bc I am busy and overwhelmed myself. Ex. Aforementioned client asked me earlier in the year about sitting Easter break. I am torn bc I know my family is planning to rent a beach house as a staycation, and I haven't vacationed since a two-night trip Feb. '20. But client says she's going to see her dad and I know he's elderly and she hasn't seen him but once since quarantine started...how can I let her down?? So I end up saying I'll sit for her part of the week I'm taking off while I'm still home, figuring she can get a service for the rest. Lo and behold, she doesn't end up going to see her dad but ends up taking my service so she can go visit a friend. I spend half my vacation essentially working, sprain my ankle and try to work on it, feel generally annoyed.

I know some of this is on me; I am working on setting boundaries and getting more in tune with myself and communicating better. It's on the table in therapy and constantly on my mind, but maybe some can relate about the stress of sitting "unprofessionally." Not that sitting with business it without problems...my friend was making under the poverty line when she had a business. But you can have a bit more separation in theory.

OH one more thing...THE CAMERAS. Now both my clients have security cameras and I kinda get it. You live alone. There's a stranger in the house. But it's VERY uncomfortable and a little demeaning. My friend who worked professionally agreed with this. I wish people would be more upfront and clear about the cameras and consult you a bit. It's like, client got a security system and just told me to make a pass key one day. I assumed the camera turned off when you turned alarm off and were in house, but I get a text the other week about something I did in the house and I'm a little, 1) hurt they feel they have to monitor me, 2) creeped out they are going thru footage of me. You know, again when you have an established relationship with someone and they claim to trust you, it is a bit demeaning to be recorded. Also just (let me reiterate) uncomfy. The camera clicks and stuff. And it didn't even occur to me until recently that it records sounds.

Anyways, I probably sounds like an entitled asshole whineypants but I thought there was the possibility this would help someone. I do really love cats even if I'm developing allergies 🙃 and I can understand my clients' anxiety to some extent, but I just feel really burnt out right now in this area and others.

[reecedarlene]

4/20/2018 -  After work, a friend I’m getting closer every day with (by bonding over our toxic relationships with our mothers) came to visit from out of state.  We met, went out to dinner, and I stayed out from 5:30 pm to 9:00 pm (sorry to our waitress)

Then after getting home I played on my Playstation 4 until about 11 pm when my ex who recently found some of my childhood books that apparently have been in the trunk of his car for the last year and a half since we broke up.  I drove over to his house, not knowing just how large the box was.  After retrieving my beloved Animorphs books, we talked.  We talked about everything, good and bad, our lives now, our lives before when we were together, and it was midnight.  So he asked if I just wanted to go get coffee, he’d drive, he’d pay (I didn’t bring my purse he literally lives 20 feet from my apartment).  So we went to get coffee, it was casual, it was safe, but I knew it was inappropriate.  I couldn’t help it, I’m so fed up with my current boyfriend and it doesn’t matter how many times I try to leave him he just won’t go...  I got home that night at 3 am

4/21/2018 -  I had set an alarm the previous night to get up at 9 am because of a “$5 a Bag” booksale at the local library.  The alarm went off, and even though I am usually ecstatic on weekends when the boyfriend isn’t there because it means I can do whatever I want without having him checking in on me and being upset I’m not spending time with him.  But that 9 am alarm went off and I was Just So Tired.

I woke up feeling exhausted, conflicted, and overwhelmed.  Like a 25 year old failure for sitting in this 2-bedroom apartment I can barely afford and do not  need, with more debt than I can manage, in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me or respect me enough to Just Get A Job, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed.  But I knew if I didn’t get out of bed, if I just laid there and put on Friends reruns and stayed under my soft blanket - I’d hate myself.

So I got out of bed.  I put on a Boy Meets World T-shirt, and brushed my hair, and I went to the book sale.  I had other plans that day, too.  Meeting with a friend for Bubble Tea, going thrift shopping, it was a day filled with all of my favorite things.  But even as I was skimming through book spines I wanted to go home.  I was waiting for a text from my - notoriously flaky - friend saying “So sorry, girl, but I’m so busy, I can’t do Bubble Tea today” but it didn’t come.  Instead I got text from my boyfriend, complaining that his friends “value the Magic Card Game more than his friendship, that he wants to just come back tonight, that he hates being away from me, that he hates being around his mom, hates his fake friends, hates everything”.

“I’m sorry :( “ I texted back because what can I say?  What can I do?  I can’t fix what’s wrong, I can’t fix how he feels, I barely got out of bed this morning.  So I filled my bag, I paid my $5, the guy who accepting my cash tried to goad me into buying more books but I know in my heart, I shouldn’t have even bought these books seeing as how I have books I bought in 2003 I still haven’t gotten around to reading...

I got in my car, and it was a beautiful spring day.  60 degrees in Michigan, no rain clouds, no threat of snow, the sun was out, there was a breeze, you could keep all the car windows down.  A day like this would usually make me so happy.  But I checked my phone again, still hoping for a cancellation text.  “Hey, girl, what time are we meeting?”  “Is 2:00 too late?”  “No that’s fine :) “  The clock read 11:45 am.

So I texted another friend, a friend in a volatile relationship, a friend who’s kids I had found books at the sale for anyway, so I texted her “Hey, can I swing by for a few?  Just to drop off books and kill some time?”  “Absolutely I’ll be home in 10″.  So I went, spent 2 hours talking to her, her husband, her kids, and petting her Australian Shepard.

A third friend texted “What are you doing today?”  “Meeting for Bubble Tea at 2″  “Can I come?”  “Sure!  Pick you up at 1:45″  This might seem insane, already I’ve socialized with 6 people in a 24 period of time but this is me, this is my element, and usually I’d be so excited but I still just want to go home, get back under my covers, order in food, and ignore the Friends reruns on Netflix.

I pick up the friend, I drive to the city where the Bubble Tea is sold, and the friend I’d been waiting on all day to cancel plans says “I’m running behind but I’ll be there.”  So we sat in my car for an hour, windows, down, talking about all that’s wrong in our lives so that by the time the friend I initially made these plans with shows up, I’m talked out.  But I still want Bubble Tea, so we still go in, we order, we talk until 5:00 pm

Flaky friend and I had planned to go thrift shopping, but now she’s saying she’s going to her mom’s after tea to go watch The Greatest Showman.  I don’t complain, because I expected something like this, and the other friend is with me anyway so we’ll just go like we always do anyhow.  So we say our goodbyes after continuing to talk outside for 30 minutes.  Then the friend I picked up and I go out to eat, go to a few stores, and I finally get to go to bed without feeling guilty - 9:00 pm. 

But when I walk in the door, I remember...the cat needs wet food today, and the rats’ cage needs cleaning which I tell myself I’ll do tomorrow, I need to go pick up my birth control, I tell myself I’ll do that tomorrow, I need to do laundry - I’m 3 weeks deep and I’m out of underwear and clean pants.  I know that if I don’t do my laundry tonight there’s a really solid chance I won’t do it tomorrow...so I start laundry.  I tell myself I’m being smart.  My apartment building has 3 washing machines and 3 dryers, if I just haul down all of my clothes I can certainly get 3 loads done in 2 hours and it’ll only be 11:00 pm and I can feel good knowing it’s done.

After I put soap and clothes in all three washers I realize...one of the washers is jammed and won’t accept quarters.  So my single cycle plan turned into two cycles because the clothes are already soapy and down there.  I finish laundry, washed, dried, folded, and put away at 1:00 am

4/22/2018 -  Sunday morning, with no alarms, I wake up at 9:30 a.m.  I have a "Good morning” text from my boyfriend.  I know that if I check Facebook and the “Active” sign lights up and I don’t text him he’ll ask too many questions about why I didn’t text him when I first woke up.  “Good morning, how’d you sleep?”  “Like shit.  You?”  “Ok I guess.”  “When is your friend coming over?”  “IDK she’s spending time with her grandma first.”  “Oh, okay.  I guess my friends are coming.  No one said anything to me.  I’m pissed.  I don’t want them here.”  “I’m sorry.  I just texted my friend, guess she’ll be here at 2″  “Cool”

He stopped texting for a while, which I was thankful for.  I knew I didn’t have anything I had to do until 2 pm.  So I didn’t get out of bed.  I didn’t even get up to pet the cat, see the rats, check their food or water, I just turned on Friends reruns and let myself fall naturally in and out of consciousness.  Around 11 pm another text came through “How are you baby?”  “Fine.  You?”  “Okay, bored.”  “I”m sorry”

I knew I had to get up, I told myself I’d clean the rats’ cage today.  It wouldn’t be fair to let it go a 3rd week because I’m depressed and don’t want to do it.  So I got up, I put the rats in their play pen, I changed their bedding, wiped down their cage, replaced some fleece covering the wire platforms, moved things around, fresh food, fresh water, and put them back in their homes.  I cleaned the cat’s litter box, put in new litter, gave her wet food and fresh water.  Washed my hands and decided to reward my efforts with Wendy’s.  

So I changed my clothes, even put on a bra, but no socks, and drove the 8 minute round trip to Wendy’s for chicken sandwiches and fruit tea.  I brought my reward back to bed.  I checked my phone, hoping my friend would be too tired to come over after seeing her grandma, too busy, too much to finish on a Sunday.  She didn’t.  So after I ate I just laid back down in bed and waited until 1:30 pm when I did get a text.  “Done early!  Can I be there in ten?”  “Sure :) “ and I finally got up and went to sit on the couch for the first time all day.

It was good that she came, we talked, caught up on the months it’d been since we’d seen each other.  I didn’t know how long she’d stay, when 8 pm rolled around I was surprised.  I was trying to hold out until 10 pm so I could suggest going to Applebee’s for half off appetizers since I hadn’t ate since noon.  Around 8:30 I get a call from another set of friends asking if I wanted extra company and a surprise.  I didn’t really...but my curiosity got the best of me, since the friend refused to tell me who the surprise guests would be.

When they got there, with a Monster Energy I requested, I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in person since 2009.  I was so excited to see him, and his husband, and everyone else.  My apartment felt full and homey and good.  But there was still this part of me that wanted to go to bed.  But I pushed through like I’d been doing all weekend, because I was also so very excited to see this person who lives out of state who I very well may never see again.  We all talked, caught up, reminisced.  The friend who had been there since 2 stayed far later than even she had intended.  Suddenly it was midnight and of course everyone was tired and worn out and it was time to go.  The first friend stayed a little while longer, I wasn’t trying to push her out the door, but then it was 1:00 am and we both knew we’d regret being up any later.

I didn’t mention to my boyfriend a few things this weekend.  I didn’t mention my ex.  I know he’d have told me to forget the books, that seeing my ex wasn’t worth it, that I’d be disrespecting him.  Maybe he’s right, maybe that’s a fair assessment but I just didn’t care.  And I didn’t want to fight about it.  I didn’t tell him my friend tagged along for Bubble Tea.  It’s harmless, but he always acts - strange - when I don’t tell him every detail of what happens when he’s not around.  I didn’t tell him 4 more people showed up at my apartment Sunday night.  For the same reason as above but also 2 of the people are in a homosexual relationship, which shouldn’t mean anything, but it does to him.  Or he’d say, gay or not, there were 2 “strange” men in my apartment when he wasn’t there.  And even more, one of those men is transgender.  He’d have so much to say.  And that on top of all of his already hateful texts to me about his own true friends.  I just didn’t want the fight.  And even if it shouldn’t be a fight, it would become one and I was just so tired.

But since I was lying by omission...I had to clean the apartment.  Put away extra chairs and games pulled out for the bigger group.  Hide all evidence of there being more than one visitor that day.  Because I just didn’t want the hassle of him questioning things when he came back the next day.

I finally got to bed at 3 am.  The excitement having worn off, and just being so fucking thankful to have a nice cool bed with a nice soft blanket to get into after this weekend.  Wishing there was some way to stop 8 am from coming.