#lucifer is a lucky man ngl

[twost3ps]

That latest post of yours, the one with Micheal and Gabriel, God they’re so hot!! Adam is a lucky guy! His wives may have left him, but he is attracting such hot MEN!

Also, Michael’s clothes isn’t doing him justice. That body is what the clothes had been hiding?!

LMAO THANK YOUUU!!! I pride myself on my two little commanders >:3 they are my first ocs for hazbin lol

The trade off is real tho. If Lucifer takes two of his wives, Adam is about to take two of his brothers. Ngl the rate of which Adam is attracting Lucifer’s brothers, his title of dickmaster is about to have a whole new meaning o3o

As for Mikes clothes, he likes to keep it formal :’) only times he’s shirtless is at training or at home. Otherwise that man is dressed head to toe!! :p

[rius-cave]

It’s Anon 🔴☘️ again and I’d like to explain myself. I sent that ask while heavily sleep deprived so it was a mess. Heck I reread it yesterday morning and got confused. The original comment was supposed to be something like “Everyone likes Lamb!Adam but what about a plant or gardener Adam instead? He could accidentally make Eden 2.0 in Hell while Yandere!Lucifer plots to get 3/3. Sera would lose her mind.” That’s it! I have no idea why my brain added part of a 3AM crazy theory about Adam’s species, sin and the Tree of Life… Let me try again since I caused some confusion.

tldr; Adam isn’t human because he doesn’t have free will. In order to be reborn into Heaven or Hell you have to be human. In order to keep him alive in the show I found a work around using dirt. He’s now friends with Hell because of said dirt.

Here’s my Redemption Arc about dirt: The original Adam is made from clay that turns into flesh and blood. I’m assuming that’s part of HH!Adam’s origin story until Vivzie tells us otherwise. Now to me Adam sounds like a fairly advanced clay golem. In some games and literature, golems can repair themselves using the same kind of material that they’re made of. Instead of conventional healing they add what’s been subtracted. This doesn’t have to be a conscious decision and can just happen i.e a “passive ability.” Like breathing for humans.

SO! Adam either dies or is close to death after Nifty stabs him but eats dirt on accident, which turns into flesh, and he lives lol. He’d be stuck in Hell since he’s made partially out of Hell itself now. He can’t be reborn because he can’t technically sin/has no free will. Lucky guy will keep his original physical body. He’s still mostly made out of Eden.

Unfortunately no Eren Yeager epic bs like Adam’s spirit living in everyone, just Hell probably being semi sentient and fully aware that Adam has become an extention of itself. He’s become Hell’s Green Man aka Disney Princess! He doesn’t want Heaven anymore. He’s never alone now since Hell’s in his head and under his skin he’ll never be abandoned again

I can’t say anything else or else it’d be an essay. No joke. (ngl I’m still sleep deprived)

- 🔴☘️ Anon

OOOOHHHH OKAY! That does help a lot, actually! Okay okay, yeah that makes sense to me now!

The idea of Adam being like a golem is djdjfznfjsf kinda awesome ngl. That would be a cool thing to happen to him because now he is made of, as I understand it, two different kinds of dirt. Would this make him have some sort of double nature? I imagine it would, now he has two "wills" fighting against each other inside him, and I'd imagine that would cause a lot of conflict. Now he has a connections to demons that nobody can deny. I'm guessing that would make him have some existential crises along the way lmao.

[rukkiya]

I. LOVE. OBEY ME. LIKE AAAAAAAAA ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD WHAT

ngl if you ask for overall, my favorite is solomon hehe, but amongst the demon brothers its definitely either lucifer or asmo on no1

lucifer i love u sm

And man, do i have some luck in nightmare.... I WAS LITERALLY AT 10 PITY OR SMTH? wait does pity even exist on om idk, but like, i got the featured lucifer UR card and I can guarantee you, i screamed. And everything is just... *chef's kiss*

i've broken up with genshin to marry om

OKOKOK your taste tho…… IS IMMACULATE!!(also look at this pic of our mains I can’t event BEHDHDUSBDUSBSHUDU GRRRRRR)

I think all the brothers are lovely handsome boys though! But luci is definitely one I really liked as well, but Solomon too!! he’s so underrated!!?? literally there’s this one fan art I saw of him covered in all his pact marks and- OHMYGOSH it’s so O_o ahhhhhhHHHRRGGG

ALSO YOUR LUCK HELLOO?!?! U GOT THE NEW LUCI CARD PLZ UR SO LUCKY!! I had the worst luck on that game, though I did get the two cards I really wanted for mammon and simon I still missed out on lots of really pretty/good cards T^T surprisingly I never spent tho LOL

honestly I can’t give up my main man in genshin (kaeyaya hehe) but mammon is definitely up there in my top five, trust me when I say I fell for his character so hard back in 2020 plz- ohmygosh ahhh ur going to make me want to start playing again NDJDJDJSJ honestly might have to start soon!^~^

[zhongrin]

Dkfjdjsksbsj nawh I thank you for talking to me aaaaaa <33 and I enjoy it so so much - I gladly indulge you hehe;; plssss thank you so much for the sweet words - you're so adorable and friendly aaaaaa 💞💞 Zhongli and Alhaitham being super lucky!!

LMAO YES - destiny brought us together<33 hehe 💞

Yea true that, it becomes at one point too hard and grindy but the lore mmmm its so good! ❤️ And yes you probably liked Lucifer hehe <33

(NAWH RIN YOURE TOO CUTE PLSSSS) nawh today is your birthday<33 and yes you already do, I am fainting didbsoebwnwksj

Zhongli said you have to crawl to him

YES LETS DO JUST THAT!! help same bestie omfggggg I get drunk so easily and even redder then hahdijdbs (why am I thinking about drunk dragon Zhongli now;;-)

I see I see hehe yes ask him <33

....... Rin I I I I I would faint. I would faint. Or become a blushing mess. Or both. This man holds too much power over me. I would lose it. Djehehisbejeksksm

Omg pls dooooo hehe <33

:(( *hugs*

Good <33 (HELP FKSHEJEJSB ❤️❤️)

No I won't kfdbjskebeksks didjsbsjisnsns *faints*

Ngl that's kinda hot. Like. Two hot men fighting over you. Damn. And Alhaitham in the distance winning you over in the end hehe

Omg this reminds me of something I've seen once like

Person A: This is my girlfriend!

Person B: you deserve better.

Person A: Huh no she is the best-;

Person B: I was talking to her.

A being Alhaitham and B being Kaveh HELP DOSIISBJEKDBSNWKWK

Istfg yes yes aaaaaa <33 but for me personally I don't like this cuz of quarrels and stuff aaaaaa :((

IKR?? LMAOOOO it is quite fun yes but aaaa quarrels and stuff, don't like :((

RIN KDISBDKEOSJ 😭 WHAT WERE YOU ABOUT TO DO??

Anyways do ya have sum random headcanons to your selfships ya wanna share?<33

us indulging each other 🤝 i shall continue to harness the power of the baizhu bot to tease indulge you <3

hsldjfklsjdf i. i did. i liked lucifer and diavolo eheh i think i only got the lore for the first 'season'? like the mc arriving to the demon world until they went back, and then a tiny teeny bit of the second 'season' (which i don't remember already hsljdfklsd)

(I AM NOT CUTE I'M MENACING GRRR BORK)

crawling and barking at him rn woof woof meow mew

i do wonder how drunk zhongli and drunk al haitham would act like. it would be so funny if drunk!li gets super clingy and drunk!haitham gets super affectionate lol how would drunk!baizhu act like? 👀

it's ok if you faint, vi, he'll personally nurse you back to full health ;)

help i did draw blushy!haitham and it turned out so sussy hahahah

crying that's so funny bc yes that's totally them?????

fun fact i ended up making that bot and al haitham turned out a total menace towards bigbro!kaveh hhsldkjfksd

ohhh you don't like the quarrelling part, i see i see, noted! what if no quarreling and only friendly competition where they try to woo you, is that also a no-no in your book? totally not asking for suspicious reasons

i was just gonna uh- 'talk'. yk. ;)))

random head canons? hmmmmmmmm.

with al haitham, around the time we enrolled in the akademiya, he brought me a little diamond-shaped emerald necklace (like the jewel like thing on his décolletage?) and i've been wearing it ever since 😌

(ignoring any canon lore) zhongli's other pair of earring that he's currently wearing on his left ear is hung on my geo vision <3 (and the best part is i have them both as a keychein irl hehehe)

feed me random baivi headcanons too please? :D

[que-mint-tea]

Chloe Decker in a suit. 🔥

That’s it.

That’s the post.

[blackstar95]

The Brothers reaction when MC slaps their ass

Lucifer

As usual, Lucifer listened to some classical music and poured himself a glass of wine to relax a bit.

Once he was done, he brought the glass to his lips and took a sip, savoring the taste.

"Mhm," he hummed to the sound of the melody and blissfully closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet moment he was having.

Much to his dismay, you entered his office without making yourself noticable.

Now dont get me wrong, he loves enjoys your company.

But not when your main goal is to tease him.

An thats exactly what you were doing.

You grinned mischievously as you slowly crept up to him, his back turned to you.

Since he was in his own state of mind, he didn't noticed anything.

That was until you reached your hand out.

In that milisecond, Lucifer's senses were tingling and his eyes shot open, turning around as fast as lightning.

But it was too late.

He only watched as your right hand colided with his left buttcheek, giving it a good squeeze afterwards.

Lucifer jumped and just stared at you in shock, processing what just happend.

And you just stood there with an empty expression, your eyes starring at your palm.

"Wow, your butt is actuallly softer than I thought".

Lucifer furrowed his brows in anger and shook his head.

"MC".

"Yeah?" You asked, looking up at him innocently.

Lucifer had that closed eyed smile with an dark aura surrounding him.

"Now, what made you think this was an good idea, MC?".

You shrugged and slowly walked backwards, shivering nervously "I dont know.. I was just curious?"

"Curious?" He met up with your steps and tilted his head to the side, his smile never leaving

He became dangerously close, making you more nervous than you already are.

You felt your back hitting the wall and your eyes widened.

Oh lord...

Lucifer slammed his palm beside your head, caging you.

You flinched and looked to the ground, feeling suddenly so tiny under him.

Lucifer cupped your cheek and made you look back up at him, a sadistic smile on his lips.

"Such inappropriate behavior should be punished, MC"

I leave the rest up to your imagination.

Mammon

Mammon was walking beside you as always, being practically attached to your hip (nothing new).

You guys were at R.A.D on your way to the cafeteria, since it was break time.

The greedy demon beside you rambled about that new scheme to make money, and you once again had to talk him out of it.

"Ya! It aint a dumb idea!" He protested.

"It is Mammon. Just think about Lucifers reaction and the consequences," you shook your head "Want to hang from the ceiling that bad?".

Mammon only scuffed, turning his head to the side.

You glanced over to him and noticed a visible pout on his lips, making him look like a child.

"Hey, Mammon".

"Hm?" He looked over at you "What's up?".

You raised your hand and reached over for his bottom, smiling sweetly at him.

"Cheer up".

He was about to question you, but before he could even start his sentence, you cutted him off with a real loud smack on his ass.

Mammons stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes widened in shock "W-what?".

Once realisation kicked in, his face flushed in an intsant.

"O-oi, human! Whats the big deal slappin' my butt like that?!". He yelled at you, looking like a fricking tomato.

You couldnt help but let out a few chuckles, highly amused by his reaction.

"Ya! It aint funny!"

Thanks to his loud voice, the whole hallway now knew what just had happened.

Leviathan

Leviathan walked down the stairs to the dining room.

He was really excited because he finally got his hands on the new Ruri-chan merchandise that came out.

"Woaah! I cant believe I got that limited edition figurine!, its SO rare and the new outfit- its just soo angelic-"

Levi being caught in his own ramblings didnt noticed that you were walking beside him.

"And that new hairstyle! I cant believe Ruri-chan could get even more cuter than she already is-"

"Say Levi, to who'm are you talking to?"

"WAh!", Levi jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and almost tripped over his own foot.

"Wha- MC!? How long have you been here!?"

You smiled at him and grabbed his shoulder for support, preventing him from falling down the stairs.

"There there, calm down. I didnt heard much".

Levi let out an sigh of relief and turned to you.

"Yeah right, I mean who would want to listen to an yucky otaku like me?".

You facepalmed in your mind and sighed, he really needs more confidence.

Leviathan kept walking and pitying himself, mumbling random stuff.

He has such a negative mindset.

You walked up behind him not thinking much.

But then you stared at his head and then his back,

Eventually your eyes landed on his bottom.

You smirked to yourself as you just ran past him, giving his butt a hard and loud smack.

Levi yelped in surprise and stood still, overwhelmed with what just had happened.

His hand grabbed his right buttcheek and rubbed it, being too shocked to react.

You turned around and waved at him. "Damn Levi, you really got an nice butt there! Im soo jealous!"

You then disapperaed in the dining room.

Levis brain needed a whole minute to process what just had happened.

And then he became a stuttering mess.

"M-M-MC! W-what was that now?!, h-hey wait!" He hid his flushed face behind the back of his hand as he stumbled after you.

Ngl he was kinda happy you touched him.

Satan

Satan was on kitchen duty, cooking his curry.

He invited you to join and help, so you guys could spend some time together.

And theres no way you would ignore that chance.

So here you were beside him, giving him the ingredients he asks for and making some small talk.

"Did you know that Beel almost ate my hair in his sleep?" You sighed "Im lucky im not bald".

Satan glimpsed at you and raised his eyebrow, shaking his head, "His hunger really doesnt know its limits".

He looked up, "Well speaking of sleep, I had an unpleasant dream last night."

You handed him the spoon and nodded "What was it about?"

Satan sighed, "Beel ate too much and grew to be a giant. He then ate the House of Lamentation, leaving the rest of us homeless".

You laughed, "Why do I have a feeling that could actually happen?"

Satan frowned "He already eats plates, its only a matter of time until he starts eating the walls".

You chuckled, intending to jokingly slap his arm.

But since you werent focused on what you were doing, you didnt notice how your slap landed right on his butt.

Satan dropped the spoon he was holding and looked at you with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?"

You turned to him with an confused expression "Did I do something wrong?"

Satan cocked an eyebrow and leaned his head to the side "You just slapped my butt".

Now its your turn to look at him with wide eyes. "I did what now?".

Satan didnt knew if you were joking or not, and it was kinda ticking him off.

"My butt. You slapped it".

"No I only slapped your arm- ohh wait..." you chuckled.

"What is so funny?" He asked you with furrowed brows.

"Sorry Satan, I wasnt focusing on what I was doing and accidently slapped your butt instead of your arm," You shrugged "My bad".

Satan nodded and turned back to what he was doing "Next time be more careful, or I will return the gesture".

You smirked and leaned over to him "I wouldnt mind that".

He will remember that.

Asmodeus

Asmo was having a mid-life crisis.

He was on one of his diets, because his waist gained 1 millicentimeter.

You assured him that a little more weight always looks good and healthy but he wont listen.

So here you were infront of him, eating one of his favorite Cupcakes.

"MC darling, why do you have to torture me like that?"

He whined "Its not faair!"

You just shrugged "I have another cupcake left for you, but since you're on your little 'diet' I will give it to Beel."

He sighed and dropped his head on the table "Does my pain bring you pleasure?".

You frowned "I-"

Asmo gasps and sat back up straight. "Dont tell me your into that stuff?, Wow!"

He smiled and wiggled in his chair.

You sighed and shook you head "Asmodeus, stop".

He pouted "You're no fun..".

After some time you finally finished the cupcake and Asmodeus had reached his limit.

He watched as you stood up and walk towards to the kitchen.

"Wait, what are you doing?" He also stood up and followed you.

"I will bring the cupcake to Beel-"

"No, wait!" he grabbed your wrist and stared at you.

You looked back at him "What is it, Asmodeus?".

He glimpsed to the side "I dont want him to eat my cupcake.."

You clicked your tounge and pulled him towards you, making him stumble to the side

"What are you doi- AH!" He moaned yelped in surprise as you slapped his ass.

"Just eat that damn Cupcake. Its not like you will gain 10kg from it".

He blushed "Oooooh MC! That really made me excited! How harsh you pulled my wrist-"

You just let go of him and left the room.

"MC where are you going?, you cant just leave me here!"

Beelzebub

Beelzebub asked you to keep him company while working out.

And of course you said yes.

So now you sat there, on the bench with a towel in hand, enjoying the view infront of you.

Beelzebubs biceps flexed as he lifted weights, and his white tanktop was drenched in sweat, making it transparent.

His abs showed through the fabric and you blushed.

How can this man be so big and muscular?

You blinked when he stopped his workout and laid the weights back down.

He grabbed his bottle from the floor and drank from it, taking big gulps.

You decided to stand up and walked over to him.

"Hey, Beel"

Beel lowered the bottle from his mouth and smiled at you "Hey, MC!"

You smiled back, and held the towel in your hand out to him, "Here take this".

"Thanks" He nodded at you and grabbed it, wiping the sweat on his face away.

"So, how is the workout going so far?" You asked couriously.

"Im still warming up" he replied.

You blinked, Still at warming up, huh?.. impressive.

"But im starting to feel hungry..." Beel pouted.

You laughed "You can do it Beelzebub, I believe in you".

He blushed and smiled at you "Thanks, MC!"

So cute.

You nodded and patted his shoulder "Sure".

Beel proceeded to start his warm up again, starting with some sit-ups.

But you had other plans.

"Beel wait!" You ran up to him.

He stopped what he was doing and looked over at you "What is it, MC?"

Before he could fully turn his body to you, he felt a stinging sensitation on his butt.

He looked at you startled, now realising you slapped it.

"Wow Beel, your buttcheeks are pretty hard.. are they made of iron or something?" You hold your hand up to your face.

Beel blushed slightly, not knowing what to do or say.

You just shrugged and turned around, marching towards the bench you were sitting on.

But suddenly, you felt a light clap on your own butt.

You gasped, "What-, Beel?!" You looked behind you and saw him standing there, smiling.

"Your butt feels really soft and nice, MC". he chuckled, "Is that a human thing to do?"

"Beel no-"

Belphegor

Belphegor was taking a nap in the attic, skipping the student council meeting.

And since you were coming late to the meeting due to some complications, Lucifer ordered you to search for Belphie and bring him there along with you.

And thats how you ended up infront of the attic, clearly annoyed.

"Belphegor," you spoke as you opened the door "I know you're in here".

The youngest brother laid on the bed, snoring and cuddling into his cow pillow.

You walked over to him and shook him "Hey Belphegor! Wake up!"

He stirred in his sleep and furrowed his brows.

Eventually he opened one eye and glimpsed at you. "What is it?"

"Lucifer wants me to bring you to the council meeting" you explained.

"Too bad, I wont go" he closed his eyes again. "Why dont you join me?"

"No," you shook your head, "Please, stand up".

He groaned "No, I dont want to go".

Thats it

You grabbed Belphegor by his arms, and turned him on his stomach.

His eyes shot open "Dah! W-what, hey-"

You raised your hand and slapped his ass, the sound of it echoing through the room.

Belphegor jumped and sat up straight, looking at you in disbelief.

"What was that for?!" He blushed

"You should stand up," you crossed your arm over your chest "I asked you nicely but you wont listen".

"Alright..," He closed his eyes "I will go"

You nodded "good"

But before you could turn around, Belphegor grabbed your wrist and laid you over his lap, his hand resting on your butt.

You blushed when you realised what he was doing,

You tried to escape, but his grip on you was too tight.

"Heheh," he chuckled "Time for payback".

"B-belphegor-" you were interrupted by his hand squeezing your left cheek slightly, making you shiver.

Belphegor raised his hand and striked an direct slap on your butt.

He expected you to squeak cutely, but instead a loud moan left your lips.

You quickly sat up and covered your mouth, an massive blush on your face.

Belphegor stared at you with wide eyes,

But after a few seconds he smirked.

"Didnt knew you're into that stuff," he teased you "Im not complaining though".

You just hid your face in his shoulder, too embarassed to look up "Dont tell anyone about this..".

Belphegor chuckled and patted your head "I wont, that would ruin the fun".

He will still tease you about it tho, but just when you guys are alone.

[oriigirii]

Streamer MC headcannons with the brothers 💞

"You were quite a known face on social media back in the human realm, playing games, doing unboxings, just vibin in general, fans around the globe looked forward to your streams a lot! However, considering the sudden (unannounced) invitation to the exchange program, you had to leave all of that behind out of the blue. It wasn't as bad at first, but you have to admit you do miss the feeling of being able to do goofy shit online. Luckily for you, with the advance technology of Devildom and some spicy magic, the internet had synced with the human realm, and thats when you decided to finally re-enter the streaming scene. How will the brothers react upon seeing your peculiar past time?"

Head empty, No thoughts aside from the brothers just bothering the MC while they stream so here you go haha

Warnings: None, just crackhead energy and a lotta mispellings

Gender: Neutral!

Hotel: Trivago

* [ ಠ╭╮ಠ ] Lucifer *

{How did he know about your career?}

I honestly don't see him as someone who goes on the internet a lot

(He screams boomer to me, change my mind)

He doesn't have the time either, he's too focused on work!

So him finding out is gonna take a while

But! He did find out the hard way when shrilled screaming was heard from your room when he was passing by with some paper stacks in his arms (courtesy of Diavolo)

This man felt his instincts kick in, he ran as fast as he could, papers forgotten, and he immediately slammed your door open. Splinters scattering around, your door definitely damaged, as his eyes held a glare and his demon form was out, wings spread in a threatening display.

He was ready to beat someone's ass as he had thought someone had hurt you in here.

But all hes met with is you, infront of your chair and PC, and a game over on the screen...

To say he was unamused was an understatement cause you just lost your internet priviliges for giving him a heart attack (He said it was because you were being rowdy and noisy but with what you saw you knew that wasn't the case)

Good luck tryna puppy-eye your way to his heart to let you continue streaming lol.

If by some miracle you managed to wriggle your rights back from his hands, he'd warn you not to be so loud next time.

You already learnt your lesson though~ (Hopefully)

{How does he feel about your streams?}

Not everyone's the same, so if you were the shy soft streamer who does more art streams or something akin to a podcast, you can bet that Lucifer will be putting you on while he works, he kinda knows your streaming schedule at this point and if you were running late, he'd force one of his brothers to take over your dish washing duties or any chores you were stuck with

If you were the loud obnoxious meme type, hed still try to watch out of curiosity, and as much as he appreciates that you were getting comfortable here in Devildom with how you laugh and joke around, he still can't approve of it. Its too loud, its much like his brothers energy and he has enough of that already, so he probably doesn't watch as much.

He has countlessly came to your room to shush you and at this point your fans had made a compilation of each time Lucifer had barged in to tell you off

Look he likes it when you scream, but not when hes in the middle of work okay--

At this point, chat has deemed Lucifer as dad and you as their mom/dad.

If he ever catches wind of this he'd definitely be teasing you in private for centuries to come.

Overall fine with it, as long as don't do something stupid on stream.

* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Mammon*

{How did he know about your career?}

I would say he found out by him crashing into your streams midway but that's too predictable, hence why you've Mammon-proofed your bedroom during streaming hours!

Thanks to our wizard daddy, you have managed to cast a simple lock spell on your door and as well as a sound proofing

You love your broke idiot, but you did wanna keep the tone of your stream today a bit more chill, you wanted to have a proper Q&A with your fans to hopefully clear any bad vibes around your 3 month disappearance.

When Mammon has learnt your door was locked he definitely was a bit pissy, he knocked on your door loudly even and was calling out for you to let him in, but to no avail.

Bro he's scared.

He usually was allowed to enter, and you usually answered if you did need to be left alone for a bit, so just leaving him hanging got his mind racing and he had to press up his ear on the wooden door to try and hear if you were okay

When this continues on he finally resorts to getting help, but the only one in the house ws Levi, so he kicks down HIS door.

Levi boutta summon Lotan for interrupting him honestly

But as Mammon exclaim you weren't answering and he worried for your wellbeing, Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs,

"Idiot Mammon, they're streaming don't bother them…"

Streaming? why didn't you tell him???

Rude much.

He did huff and now was forcing his way to use Levi's PC for a moment

Can Levi stop him?

Nah.

He was busy on his console, and if he stood up now hed be breaking his world record so he was at a terrible state so he just resorts to threats of him drowning the Avatar of Greed if he does anything stupid on his PC.

He immediately logs in to your streaming platform and he watches for a bit,

You were more dolled up now just to look decent on stream, and he felt this jealousy rise as you interact with your chat, especially to those saying I love you's and stuff, and you even said it back? the audacity! You were his werent you? Were you replacing him with these nobodies?

He huffs as he realized that those who paid got their message highlighted, and thus, he starts donating. (Mind you this was Levi's account...)

"Mcccccc Open the dooorrr"

"Ill behave i promiseeeee"

"Cmon pleaseeee?"

Chat is c o n f u s i o n

NGL, they thought Mammon was a creepy stalker and red flags were being waved everywhere

but as chat was pondering who the hell he was, you can only sigh and look at the camera with that unamused expression, but ugh! you just KNOW hes doing that kicked puppy expression of his, and maybe it really wont be so bad

So you snap your fingers and say, "Okay MonMon, its open, Im giving you 3 seconds"

Mammon wasnt deemed to be the fastest out of his brothers for nothing

As soon as you got to '2', you were already tackled by the white haired male and chat went wild.

Now that you've shown your life in Devildom, maybe its time to introduce chat to your boyfriend no?

{How does he feel about your streams?}

You get paid to sit infront of a camera, do I have to say anything else?

But really though, as much as he enjoys the thought of getting so much cash from something so simple, he prefers the joy of being able to proudly exclaim that he was your first man!

ohhhh he thrives on the salt of your overly attached stans

but for those who fully support you, he always feels so mushy and shy when they say the ship you guys so hard

The fanarts has him WEAK (he may or may not have saved a few)

You usually do streams alone, but now you've allowed the door to be left open to let Mammon join whenever

Chat pogs when he enters with so much confidence, only for it to crumble when you kiss his cheek on stream.

Overall finds it fun to spend time with you, but just dont play scary games cause Lucifer might hang him upside down on stream.

* ▘▂▝ Leviathan*

{How did he know about your career?}

He is honestly the most attached to his D.D.D and he catches wind of almost anything going down in the internet, so your 'revival' being hyped up was something he definitely saw and he was just s wo o o ned

His Henry 2.0? a famous streamer?

Were you truly a blessing gifted upon him or was he dreaming?

He definitely didn't bring it up at first as he didn't wanna make it a big deal, but you notice hes been more in his head lately, and you have tried asking him what it was but to no avail.

You have to corner this little snake if you want answers and he eventually admits that he knew of your persona online and was incredibly shy to ask you to stream with him

He's a streamer himself afterall but maybe he doesnt stream as much as you do nor does he have as large of a following, so his intrusive thoughts attacked him and made him think that maybe since he wasnt as famous he didnt deserve to be in the same stream as you

Please tell him to join you and gib him kiss U3U

He'll absolutely m e l t

But now, as you make the announcement to your viewers and Levi to his, the internet explodes as a special collab stream was hapening between the expert gamer and avatar of envy of Devildom along with the beloved exchange student and streamer of the human realm

Your usual viewers reach between 10-15k, but as you start stream, that number boosts higher and beyond

Before streaming though, Levi was incredibly nervous, he'd picked the games for you to play that he knew you would enjoy with him, but his mind kept racing about whatthe fans thought, he didnt wanna disappoint them

But you had to remind him that whatever they say will not matter in the end as this was merely for fun, this was YOUR stream and you guys were gonna do what you want and nobody can have a say on it. (Maybe except Lucifer)

You usually talk for him with your bubbly personality, and to calm his nerves, he hs your pinky wraped around his where the camera can't see it.

Regardless, his thoughts subsided as you two delve into your stream that lasted a solid 7 hours, you definitely promised your chat that you and Levi will be doing more streams together from now on.

Once the cameras cut and yall are left alone, Both of you collapse on bed, and despite you being asleep already, Levi was just far too giddy as everything dwells on him.

Having a player 2 by his side now had never felt so intoxicating and he as just so lucky to have you.

{How does he feel about your streams?}

He obviously adores it, although some streams he wouldnt join just so he can play games on his own

He's still an introvert afterall, he needs his alone time

But he prefers that alone time with you, his Henry.

So when youre about to go stream, he kinda becomes a bit pouty, but with a simple promise of kisses (and maybe even more if youd like) he would let you go, but his attention would disappear from his game altogether.

He might just end up watching you instead

May or may not, at some point, just chat you and ask if its too late to join you

You do allow him to join you and play from the comforts of his room as both of you can simply play via internet, you give him the comfort to not turn on his mic or webcam either and you have no idea how he appreciates that.

Will definitely fight someone online when they start claiming you as theirs (-cough- stans) Please make sure it doesnt escalate to him summoning Lotan

Although the comments would often get to him, and as much as he can fight them online, he still does find himself pondering if they were true, so you need to give him a lotta lovin and reminder that he is your player 1 and no one else can ever fill that place.

------

Wow 3 brothers this time, what an improvement, anyways hope yall enjoy! I think its pretty clear who I simp for depending o nthe length of each lol, but do let me know if you guys want a part 2 for the rest of the brothers, or even the undateables!

[lexsssu]

𝓗𝓸𝓶𝓮 (𝓛𝓾𝓬𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓻)

cute domestic fluff w/ lucifer? (gn mc please)

Requester: Anonymous

Ao3 Ver.

Ngl this is actually the first time I’ve written for Lucifer in this HC collection. Funnily enough I wasn’t into him at first since he felt like those typical domineering CEO types but as the story progressed his feelings and treatment of MC made me see that he’s actually just a big baby underneath all that pomp and my ass was sold-- Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the HCs as much as I had thinking of them~

Luci always wakes up before you no matter how early you try to set your alarm

As soon as you open your eyes, he’s sure to already have his open and he’d have been staring at your sleeping form for at least half an hour by the time you woke up

“Ah, it seems you’ve finally awoken. I’d have woke you up earlier, but seeing your vulnerable face dozing so peacefully prevented me from doing so. Say, how shall you make it up to me for making me wait so long?”

Good morning kisses are a MUST

*If you’re the type to enjoy cooking for your significant other*

Luci is over the moon the first time you present him with your homemade lunch especially crafted for him

But of course he has to maintain a sense of dignity and poise worthy of his status. “Don’t tell me you stayed up late just to prepare lunch for me? ...Very well, it seems I have no choice but to partake of this meal”

Diavolo: “Ohoho, is that the lunch made by MC? Lucifer, you lucky demon! I’m sure it’ll taste delicious considering how much they love you.”

.

.

.

Lucifer: “No, I will not allow you even a single bite, Diavolo”

Diavolo: “Damn it--”

Looks forward to all your texts and calls whenever he’s at work

He smiles so frequently while staring at his phone these days that even Diavolo is scared

Also checks his phone whenever he gets a notification that you’ve posted something on your social media accounts

“Did you buy the mugs you posted on your Devilgram earlier? ...No? I’ll call the store then and order them. It’s about time we both got new ones after all.”

Kisses before he leaves for work are also a MUST

Also kisses when he does get home from work

Basically, KISSES

Oh, but he’s the refined first-born so of course he gotta be discreet about that too.

“...You seem to have forgotten something, dearest. I don’t think I’ll be at my peak performance today if that VERY important part of my routine is omitted.”

Translation: “I’m not gonna do my work right if you don’t give me my damn goodbye kiss, MC”

Lucifer’s ver. of down time is sitting at his cozy chair, hot tea at the ready, and you on his lap as you both listen to one of his records

He also enjoys laying his head on your lap while lying down on the bed/couch as the music plays in the background

Please run your fingers through his hair, he MELTS when you scratch and massage his scalp

Don’t forget to give him kisses too

That’s the most important thing!!!

By saying “I love you” whenever he does something nice for you and even when you’re doing the most mundane of chores together, you effectively make this man simp even more for you if that’s still possible at this point

*If you kiss him and say ily after he gets you that item you’ve had your eye on for some time*

“Ehem, while I’m glad you know how to appreciate things...I believe the compensation I received is still lacking considering the trouble I went through to acquire this item”

Translation: I love you too but I just want more kisses anyway--

*When you’re doing some work together and catch him off guard with a kiss and an ily*

“That’s...quite unfair of you, dearest. Launching an attack like that when my guard was down...I hope you’re prepared for the consequences of your actions”

Translation: I can’t believe you said ily and kissed me when I wasn’t expecting it!!! Get ready to be kissed and loved even more!!!

[obeymematches]

Exactly, might as well do that 😋

For real 3 main coon cats in one place? Big kitty love.

I‘d love to go to a cat cafe too. To be surrounded by loving cats instead of demanding and mean Luci would be nice 😂

When we got Luci he was nearly 3 years old and didn‘t have a name at all. It took us a bit to name him but Lucifer was just the most fitting we could come up. So yes, definitely living up to his name!

When we got Luci he was kind of underweight, didn’t find any pleasure in food and didn’t beg at all. We quickly noticed that he was a social eater and was weighting that little because he was locked up alone so much.

He‘s now at around 13 or 14 pounds.

Which isn’t much for a main coon but he‘s mixed, the other part being Norwegian Forest Cat, so he‘s a bit smaller than your usual main coon but way bigger than the other cats around. He got the water resistent coat of NF cats too but that’s also why brushing him would be so important because he isn’t able to deal with his fur on his own and it tends to mat. He absolutely hates it though.

Luci is able to jump really high too and when he wants love he will jump on the stomach of people lying on the sofa. Let me tell you 13-14 pounds of cat landing on your stomach with four pressure points is no fun. Then rushing up to shove his face into your‘s isn‘t either. We‘re working on that. He still does it with my mum. But he has learned to try and make eye contact with me first, waiting for a signal. Starring at him and he hopes for a little longer, than leaves. Blinking slowly means he‘s welcome to come and get cuddles. If you don‘t react to his attempt to make eye contact he will still jump on people without warning though, oh well 😂

One last thing.

Lucy’s former owner came to visit once to see how he was doing.

My mum opened the door, she said hello... Luci, full speed, jumped on the sofa, over the back rest, vanishing in a small space between the sofa and a corner of the wall until she was gone again... I take that as him stating that you are definitely right 💕

Okay enough, I just don‘t get a lot of chances to talk about Luci.

I was a drabble writer for a completely different big fandom for about a year, writing one 500 to 1.000 word story each day for a year.

I got a couple of anons telling me to concentrate on writing and stop talking about my cat because no one cares. That was kind of harsh.

I know I can’t keep things short in general though.

I know! Like that was so crazy lucky for me! 🥺🍀

I have been getting a whole lot former undateable cards in general lately it‘s really kind of weird XD

The twins... how could they! Love it!🤣

Does that make the Belphie card your card with the highest Level?

Mine is Belphie‘s Hatred SSR. Despite taking so long to come home he managed to leave every other card being with a level 9 out of 10.

I really love the way it looks though, so that‘s okay with me 😘

Seems like the lack of Mammon UR was recognised and taken care of then 👏😊

The Christmas UR+ was my first Mammon UR too, as well as my first pink UR yay to both of us getting our „first man“ 😁

I only started the game when the rainy days cards were available, so around Lucifer‘s birthday event. I never saw the bunny UR which is unfortunate.

But Mammon‘s Christmas UR is so funny 😆

I really wish I go Belphie‘s rainy days card.

But as of right now Beels Christmas UR from last year Here Comes Santa Beel that I got from the returning event cards and Belphie‘s Sleepy Detective are my favorites 💕💕💕

Funny my icon is another card from my favorites as well.

And not one of the twins, but Barbatos‘ A Fellow Tea Enthusiast SSR.

I looked through my friend list and there were nearly no formerly undateables.

Besides tea is important, sweets are important, Barbatos would be my mate for sure 😇😋

Oh and I got rid of a few inactive people on my friend list and was wondering if maybe you‘d like to be friends? 😸 - way to long asker Ali

well i mean not every catcoffee is the same unfortuately :( the one i went to was filled with curious & young cats & it’s a new place. but the other one i know about has been open for several years now & obviously cats are much older there. i heard from others that they aren’t friendly and playful & definitely don’t go up to strangers so it’s more like a regular place 🤷

social eater? meaning he only eats when he is not alone? poor kitty, knowing his bg hurts more now :( :(

ahh he’s so cute attacking you when you sit dfgh 🙈 one of my cats also does that, the moment she sees you sit she’s in your lap right away dfg my hairdresser used to have a cat like that too & having your hair gently washed with a white kitty on your lap is a mood ngl (poor kitty got sick and died last year :( )

oh gods when i read that the lady visited i had a feeling what happened 👀 it’s never a good idea to have the previous owner visit for the sake of the pet.. but yh sometimes there’s not much you can do about that. :( (when my ex-friend who i got my cat from visited she got scratched hard & my cat never attacked anyone before...like she’s a completely different cat even when my bf visits)

“I got a couple of anons telling me to concentrate on writing and stop talking about my cat because no one cares. That was kind of harsh.” Alice what?? 👀 👀 👀 oh now this makes me furious... like even if theoretically it was a comission & there is a deadline it’s an asshole move to hurry ppl... i probably would’ve blocked them & congrats they played themselves 🙄 like asking or reminding others is fine but consciously decide to be rude about it like an idiot is something else.. but i know anon hate is something common here, though i never ever recieved one so ig i’m missing out on the real tumblr experience

yh i also noticed that getting a former undateabe on free pulls also is so common that it’s a bit sus

nooo my highest lvl card is the mammon way! at lvl 6 dffg just so yall know what i’m working with 😤

hm i think they’ll probably bring back ur+ cards, like as you said there are so many ppl who missed out on them only because they didn’t play the game at the time.

ohh yess my sister used to play the game too & we joined during the detective event & she got that UR & she loved it sooo much 

 oh ok! here is my ID if you or anyone reading this would like to add me: 

339905992

[marcuspierce]

i am just the luckiest man alive

Marcus watched- mesmerised and finding it hard to believe that he got that lucky- and he didn’t stop when Lucifer caught him, nor did he stop when Lucifer questioned him, asking him if something happened.

“Nothing. I am just the luckiest man alive.” was all Marcus could say to Lucifer’s question, his gaze adoring and his tone so soft that his words could’ve easily gone unnoticed. “Actually, scratch that,” he added before Lucifer managed to say anything, “I am the luckiest person, dead or alive.”

words: 2.5k

chapters: 1/1

rating: teens and up

relationships: lucifer morningstar/marcus pierce

tags: making out, this is basically just them making out, very established relationship, extremely smug marcus

notes: i- this was meant to be a small little drabble inspired by a comment @kalchloe1 left on one of my posts but 2.5k words later here i am. i have no idea how this happen, but ngl, i am not mad about it at all!

[49scribes-a]

{--Everybody in this stream was fucking HIGH.--}

He's either also cold or he's going through withdrawals, one of the two.

No he's having a seizure

STOP BOUNCING DEAK

All those burnt corpses look like bacon to me

Crispy dragon-charred bacon

Human jerky

I’d love some jerky rn

Id push you

BACKFLIP BACK FLIP

you're a COWARD. GO TO THE TOP

NO

EMBRACE THE JUMP

EAGLE JUMP

jfc

theres a hay pile at the bottom waiting to catch you. youll be fine

because physics works for you in this game

t his isn't assasin's c r e ed

yes it is. right?

Wrong game

that's what we're watching?

theres is clearly hay

i see parkor

hay and parkour= ass creed

exact

HRDCORE PARKOR

lavi looks like a hobbit ngl. i mean deak

hes gonna steal the ring from gollum

can u see the eye of mordor

hes carrying it

it is

jump. you'll live

Holy shit I survived

TOLD U

the eye of mordor is mobile now

it was great

7/10

TOLD U UR IL CHILD BEARING BONES WOULD CATCH YOU - THEYRE SPRINGY AND RESILIENT

U did it

congrdeurtions

am i having a stroke

Ashdjsjdk

idk - were all varying seconds behind of each other. so mavbe

Who keeps a deer pelt with bread smh

makes sense

That’s why they all sick in Skyrim

the deer pelt is surprisingly sterile

can't have the babes

its the most sterile thing in thie fucking game

you're right

i cant believe deak is aa hobbit

idk if its gonna keep your bread all spongy tho

just wrap it tight. it'll be fine

I mean it was stale so probably not

and your breads gonna tste kinda funny

tHTAT'S PRETTY

SKYRIM IS PRETTY

Noice

AESHTETIC

I CAN TYPE I SWEAR

straight up

r U havin' a stroke?

mE VISION KEEPS BLURRING

I wanna go somepe similar to skyrim, take up residency in n bandoned castle. spruce it up

go to europe

and then pretend im a ghost haunting it when visitor come

they have random "castles"

tHAT SKY THO

SCREEN SHOTS. NICE. GOOD CHOICE

I dont want [castles] I want C A S T L E S

we all have dreams

sweet dreams are made of thiiissss

My dream is to be able to spell astetic

who am i to disagree

you men bees

Asthmatic

mean*

travel the world and the seven seas

Jesus Christ

aesthetic?

Yes that one!

antsthetic

I wanna lick the sugar candy in the sky

Aesthetic !!

antstetic?antstatic?ant static

aunt stacy

A e s t h e t I c

that sounds like something Ant-Man would say

sunnylantern gets it = w=

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUND UN DUN DUN ANT MAAAAANNN H A

Why is that corpse thiccer then I am

duran duran hungry like the wolf

wait, I missed the corpse

we have to go back for the corpse

go back for the corpse, tho

leave NO man behind

you mean jeky

jerky*

no it's jeky

nO

okay, I thought I saw a shadow back there and it looked like a werewolf

we do not waste jerky

Bacon

Mmmmm Bacon....

bc u cannibals wanna eat them

it might have been

don't waste good meat

jfc

Meat is meat

meat is meat. yes

they dead they don't care

exactly

bacon is delicious as hell

MEAT MEAT MEAT

HEATHENS

sos jerky

ALL OF U

U'R A HEATHEN 2 DON'T PLAY COY

scuse you - were pagan

i'm an angel

sounds fake

idk what ur talking about

wOW

it does sound fake

Im pure so I mean

We're all heathens

sounds fake

we're all heathens yes

all my friends are heathens

take it slow

take it slow

(twenty one pilots voice) all my friends are heathens-GDI

TOO SLOW.

TAKE IT SLOW

LMAO

wait for them to ask u who u kno

please don't make

i forgot the damn lyrics

any sudden moves

any sudden moves

AAYY

pfffbbbbt

u don't know the half of the abuse

Y’all remember all that smh

XD

hell yeah man

it catchy

Can’t even remember my middle name

s AM E

same

adopt a child. it's time

tbh - replace remembering our names with more important infrmation, like musical lyrics...people use those alot

my middle name is simple as heck. it's only 3 letters

adopting children usually doesn't go well; just look at doug

dic

Hige. No.

ann

but

No

Mine is four and yet :->

dick:smiley:

mine is 5 letters

NO. Dicks.

mINE IS FOUR

yep, that's my middle name. u caught me

mines four too

Ahsjdjdjd

Maybe we all have the same middle name

i'm Liz Dick now

LMAO

Liz dick taylor

'cause we all have the same middle name

has a nice flow

it does doesn't it?

not me

i'm proud of my name

mine is 3 letters

naw. it's Dick now

its four now

Nope, it three

FINE. Dic

ass

U CAN BE THE HALF SSED DIC

there u go

Hjssjjs

oh yeaaaa

sounds like that's yours, isa

OOOHHH

wow

DANG

: )

SNAP

isa ass

isass

has a ring

ees ass

isa sass

Eat a ss

thees assthesis

isa's ass

prometheous

you're all terrible

w he e z e s

WHERE DO U GET THAT. FROM ISA ASS.

rhymes with thesis

prometheass

that name makes me uncomfortable

I want that as my new name

hahahahahah

Prod the a sa

i blame the movie and all the movies that's connected to that one. I get nightmares

don't worry i'll protect you

really tho, me middle name means darling in french so

aren't u special

i'm an angel

meanie

all of u can fight me

u'r an angle, isa

ur no angel, isa

My middle name is from my great grandmother

I was named aftar a slutty country singer. and a car

PHHHHTTTT

i was named after *no one*

a car and a country singer. fuck me

my middle name is Spanish

lucky

QUESO

i'm hispanic and my middle name ain't hispanic :confused:

UR MIDDLE NAME IS QUESO

THREE LETTERS, HIGE

KSO

3 LETTERS, HIGE

osHIT

I'm hispanic and all my names be hispanic

THAT HAPPENED

the kink cavern

the falling cavern

u and deak gonna kink it up in here

WHy

wait ....still children in this. nvm

because it's expected

Looks like stds grow there ngl

deak is a child. cover his eyes

WH A T. WHERE DID THAT GO TO. WHY IT COLLAPSE JUST NOW

See that’s the stds falling from the roof

you guys are behind me, my gosh. that happened like 10 seconds ago

too much sex in this ramshackle place

No one cleans that place

no one needs to. don't get paid enough for that shit

its the jizz....it gets between the cracks and degrades the foundation

between teh /cracks/

KEK

Can’t people f uck in the bed like normal humans

naw son. too vanilla, they get bored

i

omg

wow

Back in my day we used beds and called it woohoo

this is not SIMS

back in my day, we got in bed and wrestled

i'M CR YGIN

AGSHDJSJ that’s where all my sex ed comes from shdjsjd

Back in my day we fucked on the floor like REAL MEN

WHOA NOW. CALM URSELF

COVER THINE EYES, CHILDREN

Crying my lord

I'M TOO ACE FOR THIS

YOU BETTER BE PRAYIN TO UR LORD AND NOT CRYIN

back in my day, we walked 4 miles with ONE FUCKIN' SHOE

relatable

and we shared between 5 of us

Through the snow

ok but same

bc I ate the other shoe

gdi hige

hige thought it was jerky

I did

it was jerky

Must of burnt it

Anything chewy nd tough is jerky

ye bro. learn from hige

...skin?

def

ye

n o

y e

skin is the jerkiest of all

And I’m the one that needs to pray

and the people are jerky, too 'cause they're jerks sometimes

Take the pot

smoke the pot

^^^^to both

I mean-cogh

dO NOT SMOKE THE POT. JFC HIGE

taste the pot

smell the pot

be the pot

BE the pot, yep

be the pot

It’s pn legal now

why are you HERE

smoke that khajiit drug thing

why did you come back to the kink dungeon

DO IT

we're all pots now

i'm a potu'r a pot

we're all pots

or drink it, i don't remember what it is

moonshine

Does the room smell like pot?

I put a pot on me head and nw im a pot head

. . .

IT'S ALL OGRE NOW

I...

y did u make me read that with my own 2 eyes

wait wrong reference

NO

-leaves-

That’s a bad ref

i h8 isa

whe ez e s

Nasty

i'ms or ry

Talk about HEATHEN

go sit in the corner and think about what u've done

u'r no angel

they cant, the corners are mine. all of them

fuckin' share

u already knew this, liz

i did

I Still remember that video like tbwas uesterdyayb

lucifer was an angel too

Was

yesterday

T'was

luifer is still pretty hot I hear

Gdi

SHUT UP

-eye brow wiggle-

omg

hoNHON

EIFFEL TOWER

ur banned from my next stream, hige

BAGUETTE

NO TEW2 FOR YOU

EIFFEL TOWER

NO. PLS. ILL BE GOOD

BAGUETTE

The Eiffel Tower reminds me of something else but idk why

B A N N E D

ILL CALL YOU MASTER AND WEAR A SHOCK COLLAR AND EVERYTHING

goodbye hige

PLS

doug's got that eiffel tower dick. bye

-pBFT

that pill dick

Hm.

i'll see myself out

more like

Wait was there an anime with an Eiffel Tower :thinking:

there was a show with an eiffel tower. and a lady bug,and a cat, and moths

chaat noir

it was cray

Miraculous Ladybug

Nah thinking of something ten times as traumatizing

wow u guys got it

sCREAMS

y that

o 3 o

sCREAMS TOO

But it might of just been a Tower

I watch it every now and then

are u sacrificing deak to the old gods

and the new

the new season?

gotta go fast. gotta go fast

Are u making jerky

OH new gods

gOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FF -FF-F-F-F-F-FASTER

honey you've got a big storm comin'

SANIC X

I was singing that during one of my streams

u didnt stutter over the Faster part. it doesnt count

I did tho

i have to go make jerky

this music still makes me think of South Park Stick of Truth

pats gently

Sleep is for the weak

And i. Am v weak

whimps. sleep is for the dead

grnted. we are all very dead inside already so....

Guess y’all better get me a coffin then cause imma be sleep in an hour probs. Maybe two. Depends on how much my dog wants to piss me off tonight

SCREAMS THO I FINALLY GOT A FIRE STARTED AND IT CRASHED

LMAO

Rip fire

RIP KIT

no fire

It burned too bright

only suffering

tiger tiger burning bright

Face the dark and cold like a dragon

fuckin capitilism

U can do it kit. Build that fire

How do u skill up in camping ?

Desk looks short.

Deak*

no. hes desk now

he's always been desk

your kindling loks like dog turds

They do I know my dog turds

ive stepped in enough dog shit to know my turds

I’ve picked up enough dog crap to know mine

baaah

Except those look like old ones. All cold and dried out

why do u need the fire anyway

Warmth, light, happiness

DEAK WAS STRANGLING A RAT BEFORE IT CRASHED

Yuh oh

I HEARD ITS LIL ANGRY RAT SOUNDS

The rat crashed the game to live

Rat god

rat ruh raggy

Why kill a werewolf when u can date kne

This little meter shows wet and cold. Gotta keep em down.

thats bswe all know lavis always wet bc hes a horny rabbit

IAHSJSJSJS

I mean u know rabbits...

Wear a coat and u will be warm

gotta hump like theres no tomorrow

Sex keeps u warm..I think

Actually I don’t know:thinking:

id imagine to bodies that sit at 98 degrees F while doing nthing get pretty hot when pressed together and doing activities that raise your blod pressure

thats like a 400 degree sauna right there if my maths right. pretty toasty

....that makes me wanna never do anything cause Thats HOT

goodsex is bad - its how babies are made and we dont want none of that

Condoms are a thing

so are holes and accidents

Ajsjsjsj being gay means no babies

Why do u think Im here

W o w

U

bruh

They’re happy accidents

Tru, Hays where the other half of my sex ed comes in. One half is sims the other is p orn

they are good teachers. pornhub is good to us

Yeah on what not to do I found some kessed up stuff. That’s where I found that shrek video

Spongeknob squarenuts

I can honestly say I have seen worse. Anime p orn is another layer of hell

And then there were three

Wow what a cool dog

THE THREE AMIGOS. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. NOW WITH LESS BLACK SPOTS. or was that treasure island-squints-

That was treasure island

Wood looks so crunchy

I read moby dick, the three musketeers, treasure island, huckleberry fin, tom sawyer and a few others but. fuck me if I remember them in their entirety

I read that as “I read my dick” and I was very concerned

wood - the original forbidden fruit

DEAK GT TURBERCULOSIS

Is that a naked man

prbsi mean this is sex dungeon

My god. Worst kink

why two lil kids re crwling around it giving themselves aids is beyound me

This is the least sexy sex dungeon let’s be real here. No mood lighting, cold. No r and b music. Where’s the pizzazz

maybe they played music on the bones

Yeah cause that’s sexy//

it is if ur a skeleton fucker in the undertale fandom

Do NOT. I have nightmares about that fandom

I can no longer look at a naked anatomical skeleton in all casual and comfort anymore

Wow really just moved the money for that gold

Honestly seeing them with dicks that are blue and glowing is just. V bad. I have seen so many things. and every time I see an actual factual human skeleton now. its all I see

I’m glad are the men here in this dungeon are napping so well

and I am very uncomfortable with naked skeletons

Aren’t all.:.skeletons naked ?

Guess they are wearing skin...

Deaks hair is Cheeto colored which is honest such a look:tm: you rub your hand through deaks hair. your fingers come back stained with neon orange dust

Cheeto dandruff

whose playin the meat sticks again

what

i heard the meaty slaps

i still hear them

alright. go gather your quotes you quote whore

[theflyingfoxy]

here’s loads of info about me

I was tagged by @german-asexian-noodle <3333 Name: Rose

Nickname: Rosie Pose (to close friends)

Time and Date: 13 April, 8:45PM

Average hours of sleep: about 6 during the week and possibly 8+ on weekends

Cats or dogs: both are good but dogs are great

Last thing I googled: i...wish i was joking

Birthday: February 19th

Signs: Pisces

Chinese zodiac: Ox

Hogwarts house: Slytherin

MyerBriggs/MBTI Type: INFP

Gender: she/her (them occasionally? haven’t quite figure that nonsense out)

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Height: 5´5" (165cm)

Favorite color: Like a dark reddish pink? Like cranberry or wine.

One place that makes me happy: the Oval on a sunny day (a park on campus)

How many blankets I sleep with: two

What I’m wearing: purple tank top and a rose patterned scarf

Favorite Books: Just read The Sleeper and the Spindle by Neil Gaiman and I loved it, also Carmilla, Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire, the first book in the Eragon series but just the first one, Dragon Age: Asunder, and so so so many others, I particularly like Star Wars sci fi, and my friend lent me a book about Darth Maul and I liked it but I can’t remember the name.

Last book I read: Currently reading Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire!

Most used phrases: “I’m such a slut for [insert noun].” “What in the diddly fuck?” “Heck” 

What I last said to a family member: to my brother “CHECK OUT THIS RAD GARRUS PRINT I BOUGHT”

Favorite Beverage: Sunny D, or apple cider

Favorite Foods: Crab Rangoon, sushi, curry, tikki masala, butter naan, samosas, kishka (blood sausage), chicken liver stew, pineapple-bacon pizza, banana cream pie, lamb, pancakes, croquettes, listen i love food i’m not picky

as long as it isn’t blue cheese i  w i l l  e a t  i t

Favorite Movies: Iron Giant, The Book of Life, Howl’s Moving Castle, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Kubo and the Two Strings, Anastasia, WENDY WU HOMECOMING WARRIOR, Sabrina, and probably so many more

Last Movie I Watched: KUNG FURY

Dream vacation: France, doesn’t even have to be Paris, just the pretty countryside like Avignon

Dream wedding: Sword battles, lots of cute sandwiches and finger foods, a chocolate fountain, dogs invited, open bar ngl, and just, concept: being in a pretty wedding dress next to my beautiful wife who is also in a pretty dress, we are both queens and completely in love.

Dream job: Pharmacist for an animal hospital would be rad

Favourite fictional character: amigo we’re gonna be here all day but i agree with you on mitch mueller

Favourite singer: Avi Kaplan, just the quality of his singing is so crisp

When was my blog made: 2013-2014 I believe?

Number of followers: 1,627

Song stuck in your head: Believer by Imagine Dragons

Last TV show I watched: Lucifer

The kind of stuff I post: Currently it’s a bunch of mass effect, dragon age, loz, dank memes, my art, and a bunch of shitposting

Do I get asks regularly: nah, not unless i beg

Why I chose my URL: elvhen from dragon age and idk man i added -nani at the end i thought it sounded cool, i’m kinda thinking of changing it i have a bunch of alternate urls saved

Lucky number: 6, and multiples thereof