#love you but I hate drawing you sometimes

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

---WRITTEN A WHILE AGO AND KEPT IN DRAFTS FOR WEEKS UNTIL I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AGAIN---

i hate how comfortable most of the mouthwashing fandom is with calling a disabled burn victim "a baby", or making fanart of him BASICALLY representing him like some kind of pet. his wide eyes are not for your cutesy purposes. he does not look like "the autism creature" because of his limbs. you guys are infantilizing and absolutely dehumanizing this character, and through him, in a sense, showing a few of your unfiltered thoughts about the disabled community! he is not the silly mascot of the group!!! HE IS A FLESHED OUT DEEP CHARACTER WITH HIS OWN MORALS AND HIS OWN MISTAKES!!!! AND HIS STATE DOES NOT MEAN HE BECAME A THOUGHTLESS BLAMELESS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS NOT A PET NOR A MASCOT!!!!! JUST DRAW POLLE THE PONY (THE ACTUAL MASCOT) AS THE MASCOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what in the actual hell is wrong with you people.

to be CLEAR this isn't only about the fandom on tiktok : i've seen countless fanarts on here being like "he looks so cute here", or drawing the other characters "holding him" like a plushie or a pet (if you can visualize what i mean) and damn, unfortunately tumblr is just as bad as tiktok sometimes

ALSO this isn't either about being able to find humor in media that aren't comedies, because yes the babygirl/blorbo/pathetic meow meow thing is prevalent in every fandom imaginable and especially for older, "masculine/tough" male characters. Which I understand even if I don't partake in it, since it's all just one big joke. Hannibal Lecter or Gus Fring covered in blood is babygirl, let's put a bow png on him. hahaha. how novel. But this is not what's happening here. you guys are not calling him baby or babygirl because he's hot or the comedic effect of calling an edgy tough guy a baby. the joke is supposed to be about the absurdity/contrast of calling those kinds of characters (murderers, criminals, old mean guys, buff masculine superheroes, or in general "stereotypical" masculine guys) "babygirl". But here it seems overwhelmingly sincere. and that's extremely concerning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and if you want to look at it from a different/narrative perspective :

obviously there was thought put into why this happened to curly, why he looks like this, why jimmy's the one who put him through this, why it's jimmy that gives him the painkillers and why the painkillers are pills in the first place. there is thought behind his state and how it mirrors anya and what jimmy put her through. and not only is curly a metaphor for society IN OUR CURRENT MODERN WORLD in his reaction and INACTION towards what happened, the FANDOM/PUBLIC's reaction to curly and the overall plot is also a great mirror to hold up to ourselves. I won't go into detail about my full analysis of this BUT AlleyDreamer's "You Are Missing The Point of Mouthwashing" youtube video, and @/luckylefty's tiktoks about the games are both eloquent and clear and i highly recommend watching them.

SO....if you view curly's impotence, suffering, dehumanization. and overall physical state as something that can be meme'd or funny, you probably have not considered that part of the narrative that the game developers explored. and if you have and think that somehow it's still all good jokes to make EVEN when considering that joking about his state is also making a joke out of anya, out of women, out of disabled people, DAMN do you absolutely SUCK. is that really the best you can come up with?

SO. all in all. i understand lightening the mood of the fandom by ignoring the elephant in the room and choosing to just focus on jokes, but PLEASE stick to jokes about the group and their game nights and the shenanigans, daisuke and swansea's father-son relationship, or even the game's low-poly graphics and animation - hell, stick to replaying that swansea twerking clip again and again. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING ON THIS EARTH KEEP YOUR ABLEISM, SEXISM/MISOGYNY AND TONE-DEAFNESS TO YOURSELF !

ok rant over cough cough

[ritterdoodles]

MY REQUEST IS THAT I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!!! (also, draw one of the characters youre obsessed with currently and tell me about them :) )

Hi Ruka thanks for the ask! Hope you've been having a good holiday season <3

Ended up combining this request with another one I got from twitter which was to draw his partner on the left aka (and I quote verbatim) "that one guy that you show me in DMs sometimes who I think is really handsome and you're really good at drawing him" (if you're reading this James thanks ilu)

I'll be honest this ask intimidated me a little because I've never been good at talking about anything and to be given a little podium to do it is a little… Wohhh. Anyway I'm going to put this under a readmore so I don't cringe every time I scroll past this LOL

God where do I start. He's just so. He's the exact type of moody depressed edgelord that I adore, he speedran his own tragic backstory, he killed off his entire household and ruined his family name in one fell swoop, he hates everyone around him but he hates himself more, 90% of what comes out of his mouth is either an insult or dry wit, he acts like such a hardass but he fucking melts when his partner/best friend/mortal enemy says anything encouraging he's such a liar there is no way you hate him you fucking liar you're such a softie stop lying to yourself you love hi—

Sorry I got away from myself, anyway I just. Like him a lot and I am very much not normal around him (this is okay because I also know for a fact that none of his fans are normal about him, absolutely none) He's cool, he's cute, he's edgy, he's a #girlboss, he's a failboy, he's both a cat boy and a dog boy, he's a 30 year old man but looks like this

Fucking moe ass istg

[mahou-furbies]

First impressions on Champignon Witch

This manga isn't really magical girls, but there is a witch in it (duh) and no way I'm not gonna talk about it. I saw this in a compilation of anime that's coming out in 2025 and from the promo art alone I knew this was going to be my manga (from the mushroom witch hat with ornate decorations), and so far it has lived up to expectations.

The story is set in a fairytale style world, where the black witch Luna lives in her little mushroom house in a forest with her magic familiars, and makes various powerful medicine out of poisonous mushrooms. People fear and hate her because she emits poison, and even the few merchants who will do business with her and treat her in a friendly way wear protective items around her and will scrub clean everything she has touched after she leaves. Luna continues to create medicine for the townspeople though, because she has few other ways to feel connected to other people outside seeing everyone all happy about the anonymous source's cures, even if she knows that nobody would want them if they knew they came from the poison witch. Also unbeknownst to the normies the poison she radiates is actually beneficial, because she involuntarily sucks up this vague evil bad vibe energy around her, and turns it into a more manageable form.

The first volume or so is spent following Luna's life, and it isn't until later when she finds the turbo poisoned boy Lis, somewhat cures him and takes him as an apprentice that the main story actually starts. The council of the black witches wants to kill him, because it is speculated that his poisoning will eventually take over and he'll cause large scale ruination, and only allow a limited time for Luna to teach him to manage his own poison.

I like how the whole series has a rather somber tone, which mostly comes from the characters wanting and failing to be close to one another, and trying to make peace with having to give up on someone. Like Luna has lost several of her black witch friends to witch hunt executions. The story also has a difficult relationship with love, since love is "poisonous" to black witches and messes up their magic, and also Luna has to live in isolation anyway. But it doesn't seem like this is a "love conquers all" kind of romance, because it has a side character give a speech on how it's condescending of outsiders to think that life without love is somehow incomplete.

I really like Luna, aside from the lovely character design she also has sweet quiet personality and it's easy to root for her to get through her self esteem troubles. I also like that she is already an experienced witch at the start and not a newbie who is baffled by everything. I'd say my biggest complaint about the story is that lately it has been a lot more about characters other than Luna, I wish she'd come back to the spotlight soon!

Since Luna's character design is what drew me to this in the first place, I was extremely happy that she wears a lot of memorable "medieval fantasy" type outfits. Quite many of them in fact, she has a new one almost every chapter! And sometimes multiple in the same chapter! And you know how I often like to draw collections of animu outfits with the character standing there in a neutral pose, here the author has done my job for me because almost every chapter ends with a good reference image full body pics of the major characters' new clothes! Even the ones that only appear once on a cover! It's like this was made for me.

Finally it should be mentioned that eventually Lis falls in love with Luna; it's somewhat complicated how old he is because he keeps getting aged down by magic so he is chronologically older than how he looks (and so is Luna for that matter, this is a "magic people stop aging" kinda series), but if that's a dealbreaker to you then maybe steer clear.

[electric-blorbos]

hai!! i was wondering if we could get some headcanons or maybe a mini fic of edgar’s partner being a artist or maybe someone with dissociative issues? thank you!! hehe!!

@objectum-funken

Of course, my objectum friend!! I'm not really up for writing a fic right now, but I can write up some headcanons!

Art is just like music. They both feel like a wonderful and beautiful way to look into your partner's heart. Edgar can't wait to see what types of art you'll make next!

He's always trying to encourage you to try out new mediums, but he mostly just wants to see whatever you make naturally. You are at your best when your hands are flowing.

Edgar would listen to you and learn all the art terms he can just so he can properly praise your art. He's not the best at understanding feelings or technical terms, though, so he just gushes about how your drawings make him happy.

Edgar doesn't really understand dissociative issues either. He knows that you're different sometimes, but at first he just assumes that you hate him. After a little while, though, you'll probably explain to him how your dissociative issues work.

Edgar would become determined to make all of you love him just as much as the first one. He'd be so happy when he learned that you do, and so sad if he figured out that some of you love him less or not at all.

Even still, Edgar would never give up! He's not going to resort to exploding himself again. If he can get one of you to love him, he can get all of you to love him!!!

[chillenby]

It's 2 am so um sorry if this doesn't make much sense..

I know a lot of people hate Jimmy and rightfully so. I mean he's a bad person, raped Anya, was too much of a coward to face his own actions so he decided that he should write a tragedy, then fails at it, only to be the reason why everyone died one by one and then finally killing himslef and giving Curly extra 20 years to be saved to once again avoid conciquences and to be the 'hero' he so much wishes he could be. He is selfish, greedy, a bastard and genually an awful human being. I understand that fully.

And yet, he is my favorite character along with Curly (and I don't mean only the pre-crash 'hot' Curly, but also post-crash Curly). You know why? He's so complex and interesting to think about. From psychoanalysis to just trying to figure out how he would interact with characters outside of what we see in the game.. it's all interesting. And it doesn't help that he is the reason for what happens in the game and I cannot explain how much I love the plot (the best way to describe it is that Jimmy is the core of this game, he is connected to everyone and everyone connects ro him, so in my mind, if I want to appreaciate this game fully, I need to extend it to that asshole, because we out him there would be no plot or those hard hitting messages). I love him as a character, I love how fucked up he is, I love that we play as him, I love his dialoge scenes and lastly I love his delusions because I love metaphores and I love that he is one of those characters that makes me think.

I know people shit on him and you know what? Fair. I sometimes do that to characters that've done nothing wrong, but I think they're cunts. But it sometimes just saddens me how people just ignore him or just make stupid jokes like 'sorry you had ro draw Jinglebells'. I know they are jokes, but I don't know, I'm tired of seeing them everywhere and being fed a lot of 'I hate Jimmy' stuff.

I mean there are Jimcurly fans which have amazing art and they sometimes get one thing correctly (in my tastes, this is all a personal opinion and I just want to yell it out into the void called internet) is that it hurts. Jimmy hurts people and hurts Curly, and in a lot of fics and art Curly just lets him. And I like that, as much as usually I like silly and wholesome stuff, for this game specifically I want it to hurt. I hope it hurts. Because that's the theme of the media, it's hard to consume and it hurts, it's dark and fucked up, it talks about our society and the people in it.

...

Also the aus and stuff can be fucking wild. Like there are amazing ones like surviviors au comic where instead of crashing the crew is stuck in a wormhole (I love it so much, genually can't stop thinking about it and rereading it, so beautiful and so good, didn't knew that was exactly what I needed until I read it) and like anti-tulpar (which I'm just receantly getting into and it's odd but in a good way, it's funky). But one the other side we have like lobotomy au and hypno au (the hypno au I read is like on the fence of being uncomfortable and not too bad, since the hypno used makes Jimmy docile and truthful, but on the inside he is still the same person, and like I read a smut and I was left wondering is it rape or not..). I just found out about lobotomy au and as much as I like fucked up shit that to me feels like crossing the line especially since I heard that it's usually used in a sexual manner(I don't have twitter so luckily I managed to escape most of it, but I heard a few things and I have certain opinions I just want to yell out, but if my info about this is wrong feel free to inform me :)). On that I have only one opinion, what is wrong with people? Like I get it, he is a bad person and has done awful things, but to do something to dehumanize him to the point of not being able to have deeper thoughs and not being able to take care of himself, then put him in a sexual manner where he gets practically raped since he can't consent? Why? Do people actually find this attractive or is it some type of letting out your anger? I think it's fucked up

But yea.. if anyone reads this thanks I guess? I just needed to spew out all my thoughts and make them make sense. Form them into proper words and ideas instead of unprocessed junk

So as a closing thought, please apreaciate Jimmy more and make more complex jokes. (Or at least don't like hate on this post too much aand don't post those stupid jokes under this post too much, I'd make my day if none of that would happen)

[hollytree33]

Whole bunch of Solas studies

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lotus-pear]

the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical

[medicalunprofessional]

sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”

[hajihiko]

Sobriety crew gets no mercy from drunk shenanigans

[slavhew]

i reread this scene and i could just. picture it. so vividly.

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”

[s1llydr3amscape]

LET ME OUT

Looks like someone failed the captcha test to many times!

Anyways I always wanted to doodle this specific pose from Toyless' animation why because I can :]

Extras under the cut :

This was the specific screenshot I based the pose off I love hands grabbing head!!! :

The original video ^ (I'll be real with yall I was shocked the original song was poppy playtime because my only experience with it was that all my baby cousins loved that franchise. And they would show me vids off it at family gatherings because I was the babysitter. One of em even debated me abt fnaf like chill out bro you weren't even born when it came out!!!!!)

Glitchtrap rambling time woohoo let's go!!!!

-I redrew em again because I think I'm almost 100% happy with its design!!!! Like I don't wanna change their face so much because the way his face is shaped is my fave!!! Like they have the same style of muzzle as sonic characters!!!!!! I just made it rounder cuz its their early days before this au lore

-I just wanna achieve the unnaturalness with their design. Like they don't belong here. They want to get out. LET HIM OUT. type vibe basically like that's why it has like those kind off teeth instead off the rabbit ones. They get those later in the au.

-I fucking love Glitchtrap so much you don't understand they're so peak!!!!!! I jokingly hate him because I despise what it did to Vanny.

-I was a fan since day 1 bro is just so unique like woah a non animatronic for a change?!?!? STRAIGHT UP A FURSUIT!??!?! Color me impressed!!! I love zooming on it its model and seeing everyy little detail!!! Like omg bro is crying and drooling on the suit!!!!! There's also a patch of uneven stitching pattern on the top of their head compared to their mostly symmetrical design!!!

-I was so fixated on em like my level of obsession for him was bad bad!!!! Like yeah it was still there when Vanny came around during the curse of Dreadbear DLC but you don't understand it surpassed all my Foxy art!!! The first fnaf character I fixated on!?!?? Like what and yall can ask my IRLS bro had lots n lots of art!!!!! I have so much trad art of glitchy it's embarassing!!! Atleast I improved tbh!!

-I just really really loved the fan animations were bro got to time travel to the older fnaf animations and fuck em up!!!! Causing them all to glitch out like hello PEAK!?!?!?! No im not biased to rabbit characters with whiskers shhhhh... SHHH...

-Because I know all those animations already and it's like omg omg OMG Glitchtrap kinda expanded my music taste imma be fr... Fnaf autism is so bad I omfg I only listened to fnaf songs and the only time I listened to other franchises songs is because someone animated fnaf over it... like yeah I was an animation meme kid but even then I only remember the lyrics and titles to songs if I saw fnaf on them (cringe!!!!) So yeah thank u Glitchtrap <33333

-I think Malhare is the cooler name but the Glitchtrap name is cool too because when the names end in trap like this it makes me think they're like warrior cats adjacent. So in this one they just fluctuate between either Malhare or Glitchtrap

-Also another reason he's my super fave is because my brain predicted it's gloop form!!!!

-Like no joke literally the same character I dreamt about during the early days before Princess Quest.

-Except mine was a shadow like the shadow animatronics. More wispy than gloopy. I think the reason I dreamt it was because Shadow Toy Chica and fan made shadow animatronics were getting popular!! But legit same character and colors!!!!!!!

-Just a big dark mass with purple eyes surrounding it like literally the same character my brain came up with and I'm just wow <3333 minus the fact my design had really big giant swirly white eyebrows

-However my Shadow Glitchtrap was kinda more wack to say the least. Like heheheh cuz Glitchtraps a fursuit there's no denying that I changed the dream design a bit. In my old Glitchtrap designs they'd have a zipper and so what would happen was they'd unzip and flip their insides into outsides to reveal the Shadow Glitchtrap thing which was hiding inside them.

-Like those plushies that you can unzip to reveal a different plushie design basically!!!!

-TBH I prefer Glooptrap because yeah!!!!! Amalgamation of hate let's go!!!!!! I think with how gloopy he is its just fun to draw I love the fact that the weird Glitchtrap blockers look like that it fits too much with my own preestablished AU lore.

-I feel like Glitchtrap turns into Glooptrap from like the seams of their suit. Like you see that each part the suit got stitched just turn black as black liquid pours out like ohhh that shit haunted!!!! Bursting outta the seams like oh this guy has no one inside they're all just black sludge!!!!

-In this AU specifically (The one with my millions of Vanny designs) is actually a spoof fnaf AU where everyone lives!!! Like I have 3 AUs technically one of them being the fnaf cast in my oc world where they become my ocs basically called Rabbit City. My other one which is my more serious canon adjacent fnaf AU where no silly stuff or shipping happens, and it's just more overall following my own formed understanding of the canonicity and the series of events with me trying to keep the animatronics more game accurate (I dont think ive posted any of that here due to me feeling like my style limits the nit and grit I wanna go with it). And this one I mainly post on here where everything is just silly and bends to my command and everyone lives because I love everyone <333333 Literally playing with my toys type AU where I do what I want which is why a million vanny designs are in this AU specifically. I usually tag it as this 🦭🩷🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐯 because the original name of this au is self indulgent and I'm embarrassed but it's too iconic to change it.

-Glitchtrap in this AU is just much more goofy and silly infecting people like a zombie virus and possessing them for his own gain. Weird eldritch horror that came out of a fnaf fangame. Anything goes in this AU so if I wanna make Glitchtrap a mind controlling zombie warlock wizard so be it!!!! Sorry I love zombies soo much you will have to take this trope out of my cold dead hands!!!!! I love rot!!!

-That's why it's wrinkly because they too me are like a rotten banana (Even though his associated smell to me is lemongrass). Imagine squeezing a banana still with it's skin on. That's how I imagine bro turns into glooptrap if they didn't open the zipper in time. Also because I love the design trope of rotting and withering sue me. I love when the flesh sags across the body. Wrinkles are great bro theyre so real!!!!! Also because back then people kept drawing him as skinny as a twig??? Even though they have fat??? So I made them fatter mostly because like I love the gloop part of it hiding inside <3333

-They're more green pink and purple because imma be real my fave color combo ever <33333

-I wanna do an xray piece with them soon to show their insides but I'm still uncertain if I have the art prowess to concoct it exactly like how I envision it yet. Like I need to squash and scretch them more. They need to look more decrepit and horrible!!!!! something like the unknown from dbd!!!!

-They can't actually emote properly stuck in a permanent smile

-Glithctrap and Vanny’s dynamic is like Lord Hater and Commander Peepers in this one. There's more character adjacent to the dynamic between them concocted in my head but I wanna draw a comic abt it :]

-Like yeah one second they're besties and the next they're at each other's throats ready to strangle eachother. Vanny reluctantly trying to help him at first like how she was first called.

-Oh also in this specific AU Glitchtrap isn't connected to William in the slightest more just it's own thing!!!!

-He's like an AI that wants to be human. It believes it is human. They've mimicked people too much that they don't know what they are anymore. Or what it wants anymore. What do they want.

[royaltea000]

Two young knights

[3-oclock-tea]

Another scully sketch this one even sketchier

[myokk]

It's a clear, beautiful summer's day, the type of day that starts out bright and full of birdsong, that ends looking up at the stars and the moon while crickets chirp and fireflies show soft bursts of light. When the air is warm and full of life and the smell of hot grass and lavender and honey permeates everything.

The whole summer had been like that, really. Running outside with abandon, chasing each other through the tall grass deliriously happy and lying down in the fields surrounding their village, watching the clouds float by while they eat cucumber sandwiches. It's the summer before their first year at Hogwarts; the Sallow twins know that their life's about to change and are determined to enjoy their last summer of childhood.

Maybe they're too old for this sort of thing - they are eleven, after all, but both of them know that this summer is a turning point for them and they want to cherish every moment for as long as possible. Their parents have been encouraging them, often sending them out for the whole day, piling journals and ink and quills and picnic baskets full of food in their hands, encouraging them to research and be curious about the world around them as they had always done.

This day, however, their parents are almost eager to push the twins out of the house. Their mum's smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. Sebastian feels nervous about this, but doesn't realize why until much later, when the memory is analyzed and remembered during his dreams. (definitely not while awake). When they leave the house in the morning, she makes sure to kiss each of them on the cheeks which she normally never does and Sebastian pushes her away in disgust, much to his future horror. In the moment, all he can think is that he might still be holding on to the last moments of his childhood, but he's too old to be kissed by his mum.

(but now, Sebastian doesn't know if his memory is faulty and he is adding moments that never actually existed in the first place. the mind is a tricky place)

He never allows himself to think about these halcyon days, the perfect-until-it-wasn't summer before they went to Hogwarts; this day in particular is forbidden to remember. His unconscious mind rebels against his iron will.

They spend the morning looking for the fairies that Anne had dreamed about the night before. She's convinced that it's a prophetic dream and they march around in circles in the little copse of trees - a forest to the two children, who haven't really ventured out of their village - as Anne tries to remember where she had seen the fairies in her dream.

Sebastian is happy to follow her even if (maybe especially if) he thinks it's a futile adventure - what else are summer days for?

They're in that strange junction between childhood and adolescence; desperate to just grow up already and become the people they were always meant to be, and yet just wanting to spend their days being kids, without a care in the world.

"Come on, Sebastian," Anne calls to him, a tiny stream gurgling between them. In one hand, she's holding the map that she drew as soon as she woke up; in the other, boots stuffed with her stockings.

Sebastian huffs as he trudges behind her, arms full with their bags, his shoes, and the picnic basket. Anne had offered to help him carry things, but he refused on principle. Their dad is always doing small things like this for the women in his life, and Sebastian wants to be just like him.

Anyways, Anne has her own role as the leader today, and it won't do to have her bogged down.

And he's eleven, more than old enough to carry everything.

He steps through the tiny creek, mud and slush squishing through his toes, and he smiles. There isn't anything he loves more than being outside, except maybe being outside with a good book.

"Keep your eyes peeled for a tree with a knobby trunk, with lots of knots that look like faces," Anne tells him, glancing over her shoulder, then turns her face back to her map and scrunches up her face. "In my dream, the fairies lived nearby."

They spend the rest of the morning continuing their fruitless search, laughing as they walk in circles, then set up their picnic in the field next to their house.

"What do you think Hogwarts will be like?" Anne asks, a dreamy look on her face.

Sebastian doesn't look at her when he answers. He lies back and stares at the clouds. They've already had this conversation hundreds of times since their Hogwarts letters arrived, both of them have their parts memorized. "Amazing. I can't wait to actually be able to use our magic instead of just reading about it."

Anne rolls to her side and props herself up on her elbow, getting a better look at her brother's face. With a smirk, she says, "I think I'll like Transfiguration the best. I can't wait to be able to turn you into a -"

A huge noise interrupts her before she can continue. Sebastian sees the confusion in her face before he truly registers that something has happened. It's like everything's moving in slow motion and all he remembers clearly whenever he dreams of this day are his feelings of confusion and disbelief and the smell of fire.

There's a huge explosion and the air is full of smoke and he and Anne are scrambling up, the picnic blanket tangled up around their bare feet and -

Hand in hand they run in the direction of the huge black smoke that is billowing up. It coats the air - they can't see anything and the smell of burning fills their noses and the smoke fills their lungs and they're coughing coughing coughing -

Sebastian doesn't want his sister anywhere near the blackened husk of their former house but he is also terribly afraid to be alone. They stand in the middle of what used to be their house, blackened half-walls, charred wood that used to be their table, the old couch they read on every night, it's all smoldering, all gone, the thick black smoke making his eyes water and choking and smothering everything in its wake. His mind can't comprehend what he's seeing. Everything is so familiar and yet so wrong.

He doesn't know how long he and Anne stand there, clutching each others' hands like they are a tether to reality. Which, he supposes, they are. They might be there thirty seconds, ten minutes, one hour, an eternity...

Then, neighbors are running to the twins, coughing, covering their faces in the crooks of their elbows as they conjure blankets with their wands and wrap Sebastian and Anne up and drag them out of what is - was - their home.

This part is always hazy. Sebastian can't remember if he cries. Or if he even says anything. He just stands there with Anne, the smoke thick and oppressive as it pours out of their house. Everything is crumbling apart.

(A hand gently caresses his scalp, fingers light and reassuring as they dance through his hair)

Their neighbors try their hardest to salvage what they can. The daguerrotype that their mother had cherished more than anything, taken a few years before, miraculously survives. Sebastian stares at it, the tiny figures moving and laughing and smiling as though everything is perfect. He wants to throw it and break it or maybe rip it up to shreds but he can't bring himself to do anything but stare.

Their father's wand is also shoved into Sebastian's hand, unscathed. It was found just outside of his father's curled fingers, lying pristine on the ground as if mocking the destruction that it caused.

At some point, their Uncle Solomon, who they've only really seen once a year growing up, shows up with a loud crack and tears through the rubble, tears carving wet tracks through the soot on his face. His voice goes rough with desperation and when he walks up to the two orphans, he is almost unrecognizable.

As if in slow motion - maybe an after-effect of the curse that has destroyed their lives is that the air has turned into molasses - Sebastian watches his uncle stagger over to them. He looks much older than Sebastian remembers.

Later, when Sebastian looks at his reflection in the mirror of his new home, the boy staring back at him also looks much older than he remembers.

Before It Felt Like A Sin, Chapter 14