#love tumblr meant a lot to me though and even though there's barely any of us left

[thefreshprinceofjunes]

soriku endgame: an imagining

OKAY WELL HERE IT IS

TEN WHOLE PAGES OF HOW SORIKU ENDGAME MIGHT ACTUALLY PLAY OUT

i was rewatching vin play RE2 and fsr this invaded my thoughts and wouldnt leave

this is barely proofread and i reused a lot of the same words/phrases BUT its just meant to be an outline/abridged version so keep that in mind

(if i got any lore wrong tho pls let me know)

btw if you dont want to read this on tumblr for whatever reason, heres a link to the google doc

note: this is going off the assumption MoM saw everything (or at least everything soriku) through the gazing eye

scene is quadratum probably. master of masters (or whoever the bad guy in kh4 is) has sora and riku caught in a bad situation (for temporary visuals im picturing something similar to the dark guardian restraining aqua and ven in kh3)

sora and riku are struggling to break free, while the MoM just laughs. some kh dramatic banter occurs, before MoM changes the subject and starts monologuing (with sora and riku probably interjecting here and there)

MoM: [to sora] you still havent figured it out yet, have you?

MoM: dont you ever wonder why rikus heart holds as vast of a darkness as it does?

MoM: its not because of jealousy, or ansem, or even his desire for strength since you were children.

MoM: no, its much simpler than that.

MoM: remember that dream you had, sora? before the islands were destroyed?

MoM: there was a voice speaking to you, from deep within your heart:

MoM: 'the closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes.'

MoM: well, the road goes both ways, kid. the deepest of darknesses can only come from the brightest of lights.

sora: wh-what are you saying?

MoM: its been in front of all along, but you were too blind to see it.

cut to voiceless flashbacks of all the times sora encountered the brightest light: when receiving the keyblade, when almost pulled out of sleep by the memory of aqua on DI, during the dive to heart at the beginning of kh3 (assuming it really happened and wasnt just for gameplay purposes), and after using the power of waking at the KBG (the tunnel scene)

sora looks at riku, then back at MoM. riku is grimacing.

sora: that… that was… that was rikus light?

MoM: bingo!

MoM: but theres even more to it than that.

MoM: theres another force of power in this universe that keeps light and dark in harmony

sora: another…?

MoM: you feel an unfathomable depth of it in your heart for, well, pretty much everyone youve ever met.

MoM: what lies in rikus heart, however, comes from the same place, but is also very, very different. its something you claim to not understand, even though youve encountered it many times during your adventures.

rikus eyes widen and he tries to interject, but the MoM physically stops him; sora calls out for him

MoM: its more than just friendship. its hearts that are really, truly connected between two people.

MoM: think about it. think about all the times when everything seemed hopeless, but something, something, kept the bad guys from winning. it wasnt light.

cut to voiceless flashbacks between many of the disney couples sora has met: the beast arriving at hollow bastion out of sheer force of will in his search for belle, flynn sacrificing himself for rapunzel and her tears bringing him back to life (some shit with will/elizabeth and sam/quorra too maybe idk), and finally, herc gaining his strength back as he rescues megara from styx, followed by herc saying, 'people always do crazy things when theyre in love.'

sora stares ahead at nothing in particular, before wincing in pain; suddenly, a forgotten memory surfaces in his mind (if the convo with NS confirms he hasnt completely forgotten, then its the key details that have been missing):

rikus sacrifice in the KBG

riku calls out for him and struggles, but MoM just laughs so more.

MoM: there, now its coming back to you. and that wasnt the only time riku sacrificed everything for you, yknow, although it was probably the most heroic instance. remember him taking on ansems form to beat roxas? and his dive into your heart to wake you from slumber, despite the tremendous danger? you only met her briefly, but one of the princesses of heart experienced something very similar.

MoM: aurora. maleficent placed a curse on her when she was a baby, causing the princess and the rest of the kingdom to fall into a deep sleep on her 16th birthday. but the heir to a nearby kingdom, prince phillip, valiantly fought his way to the castle, and woke up the sleeping beauty– through a kiss. a kiss, of true… 

MoM trails off and looks at riku, then back at sora, expectantly. riku is still struggling to free himself before the truth is revealed, but its no use.

sora stares off again, before looking MoM in the eyes.

sora: … love…?

MoM does jazz hands and poses.

MoM: ding ding ding ding! we have a winner! it only took you, what, 12, 13 years to figure it out? honestly, i just couldnt stand watching it go on for any longer.

MoM: but, hey, i still have my honor. if im wrong, im more than happy to apologize.

MoM turns to riku then.

MoM: well? am i wrong, riku?

riku doesnt respond, and MoM sighs dramatically.

MoM: still no answer? okay, guess well have to do this the hard way.

MoM starts hurting sora, causing him to cry out in pain while riku watches helplessly 

MoM: come on, riku! do it! use your true strength! unleash the power hidden within your heart!

sora gasps and winces, barely getting out rikus name 

suddenly, theres a bright flash of pink energy (maybe rikus eyes also turn dream eater pink too?)

(if the power of love is too cheesy even for kh, then maybe its a black and white darkness/light combo attack)

riku breaks free of whatever MoM did to him, and then channels the energy through his arm, blasting it through soras restraints.

unfortunately, sora was being held in the air, and starts to fall– but in the blink of eye, riku is there to catch him in his arms.

MoM laughs in triumph and draws back slightly.

MoM: there we go!

MoM then shrugs.

MoM: well, this was fun, but ive got places to be. and im sure you two have a lot to talk about. toodles!

MoM disappears, leaving sora and riku in stunned silence.

after a moment, riku sets sora down and turns away from him, avoiding soras gaze.

sora meanwhile takes a second to catch his breath, before staring at riku with wide eyes.

sora: r… riku… is… is that...? is that really… how you feel?

riku clenches his fists at his sides and stays turned away. after a pause, he responds.

riku: … even if it is, it doesnt matter.

sora: what do you mean?

riku: i know… im not the one for you.

riku takes a deep breath.

riku: … when you were put to sleep for a year to fix your memories, some of them found their way into xion. they happened to be your most important memories– the ones you couldnt wake up without.

riku: those… were your memories of kairi. and xion took on her appearance because of them.

sora is stunned, only having been vaguely made aware of what happened in that year.

sora: k… kairi?

riku nods solemnly.

riku: yeah. and the only reason your memories got messed with in the first place is because the organization forced namine to make herself the person most important to you, instead of kairi.

sora pauses.

sora: you mean… castle oblivion.

riku nods again.

sora watches, before feeling a pain in his heart and grabbing at his chest instinctively.

underneath his hand, he can feel the cold metal of his crown necklace.

and thats when it finally clicks.

everything blurs, and theres a sudden rush of memories.

(maybe a memory sequence that you actually play through?)

sora, holding kairis wayfinder in castle oblivion. suddenly, the memory gets static-y, like during soras memory restoration.

cut to namine confessing to sora shes not the girl he cares about– but every time the word is feminine, its distorted by video static. (this is how we fix the aitsu thing)

"no. the g̸͓̦͙̫̮̦̠͗͐͗̊͑̕͝i̷͖̝̝̱̐ͅͅŗ̸̄̆̓̆̊̄̿l̶̮͉̦͓͔̹̀̂͗͝ͅ you care about...the one who was always with you... its not me. its ḧ̴̳͔̻̾̇e̵͚͂̀r̸̺̣̠̓̂̀̚."

cut to namine speaking to sora before he goes to sleep.

“but theres another promise you made—a promise to someone you could never replace. s̵̹̀͗͜h̷͇͇͌̆̐e̷̡̛̱'̷̦̆s̵̫͖̦̄̈̄ your light. the light within the darkness. if you can remember h̷̼̼̜͚͒e̸̢̡̤̹̬͖͐̒͒̾r̸͓̣̜̼̜̠͚͂̋̃...all the memories lost in the shadows of your heart will come into the light."

cut to a flashback of repliku talking about their shared promise. again, the feminine words are indecipherable.

"there was a meteor shower one night when s̶̳̄͑̆̅̆͗h̴͍̞͖͙͑̔̋̈́̎̈̾ę̷̧̰̰̖̝͆̆̕̚ and i were little... n̸̨̙̼͑̽ả̴̗͕̮́͊͝m̴̻̳͚̒i̸̳̟͑n̶̡̥̋̑̌é̸͍̦͑͐͋́ got scared and said, what if a shooting star hits the islands? so i told ḧ̷̡̬̽̅͆̊ė̸̙̩̠̥̿̃̚͠r̶̛̥̻̖̉̾̽͝, if a shooting star comes this way, ill protect you! and then—"

cut back to the memory pod.

"look at the g̴̬͛̄̚͘ŏ̴̞̙̰̍͂̀ö̴̘̥̗̱̐͋͆ͅď̷̨͙̙̩̓́͝ ̸̢̋̈́̂̚ļ̷̯̥̲̪̐̋͌̾̚ṵ̵̼̥̥͖̎c̸̱̟̹̚ķ̸̭̱̖̓̇ͅ ̷͇̳̃̑́͑͐͜ͅc̸̢̤̈̈́̊̚̕h̵̙̗̓͊̾ͅą̷̣̮̞̾̈́r̶̜̜͓̥̀́͋͝m̸̺̖͈̖͓̊̀̕. i changed its shape when i changed your memory. but when you thought of ẖ̴͚̙̆ȅ̴̡̛̞̲̥̼̋͐r̸̹̱̐, it went back to the way it was."

finally, a few more lines from namine.

"remembering one thing leads to remembering another, and then another... your memories are connected, like links in a chain. those same chains are what anchor us all together. i dont destroy memories. i just take apart the links and rearrange them. you still have all your memories."

cut back to sora in the real world. everything is still blurry, but now rikus voice can be heard in the background calling for him, distorted.

and then, a flash of light.

nighttime. its still. everything is quiet and peaceful.

young sora and riku are walking back from the beach.

suddenly, theres a bright streak across the sky. 

sora and riku both gasp.

then, another. and another. and another.

the night of the meteor shower.

riku watches the sky in amazement– until he feels a tug on his arm.

he glances at his side and sees sora, utterly terrified and clinging on to him for dear life.

sora: wahhhh!! r-r-riku, the sky is falling!!

riku laughs.

riku: no, those are shooting stars. theyre way up high in the sky.

sora however is not convinced, and keeps shaking as tears start to well up in his eyes.

sora: b-but…! theres so many of them. and theyre so fast!! what if a shooting star hits the islands?!

the reality of soras mood finally sets in, and riku is left staring as he tries to think of what to do.

hanging from his pocket is his wooden sword.

the words of the man with the real sword echo in his mind:

“no more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love."

riku grabs his sword then and holds it up to the sky as he looks at sora, courage glinting in his eyes.

riku: if a shooting star comes this way, ill protect you! ill hit it right back into outer space!

sora sniffles as he watches riku swing the sword around.

sora: r-really?

riku nods his head confidently.

riku: i will. i promise!

after a moment of thought, riku reaches into his pocket and pulls out a silver chain with a crown dangling from the end.

riku: here. take this. i found it the other day.

with the magic of cutscene, riku somehow turns the chain into a necklace, and then reaches over to hang it around soras neck.

riku: whenever you get scared, all you have to do is look at this, and remember that ill always be there to protect you. no matter what.

tears run down soras face as he looks at the necklace.

the voice of the strange girl theyd met before rings through his mind:

"so then if something happens, and riku is about to get lost—or say, he starts wandering down a dark path alone—you make sure to stay with him and keep him safe. thats your job, sora, and im counting on you to do it, okay?"

sora gulps and then reaches out to grab rikus free hand in both of his own. riku is surprised by this.

sora: ill… ill protect you too! i-i know im not as strong as you, but ill… ill try! i promise!

riku is taken aback for a moment, before he smiles gently at sora.

riku: … thanks, sora.

afterward, a multitude of quick flashbacks to all the times sora and riku protected each other, culminating in seeing the KBG sacrifice one more time.

fade to back.

in a hotel room (or smth similar), sora suddenly sits up straight in a bed, heart beating rapidly.

sora: riku!

(paralleling when riku called out for him after waking up from the dive into his heart in ddd)

riku has been seated at the edge of the bed, waiting and worrying. when he realizes soras awake, he scoots down the bed towards him.

riku: sora! youre okay!

after catching his breath, sora looks around the room, confused.

sora: … what… happened?

riku: you passed out, so i brought you here. how are you feeling?

sora puts a hand to his head, grimacing slightly at his pulsing headache. but that doesnt matter right now.

sora: im… im fine. listen, riku… i saw… i saw some of the things that happened at CO.

rikus eyes widen.

riku: you did?

sora: yeah. i saw you… well, a version of you. and namine. namine…

sora looks into rikus eyes.

sora: she… she was wrong. or… maybe i was wrong, and she just played along for my sake…

riku: huh? what are you talking about?

sora swallows as his voice starts shaking, just a little.

sora: kairi… kairi wasnt the one most special to me. you were. i remember… i remember the night of the meteor shower.

sora clutches at the crown necklace.

sora: all this time, id thought id remembered everything important… but i forgot about it. [sighs] im sorry, riku

riku stays quiet for a moment, before putting on a forced smile.

riku: its fine, sora. we were little kids.

sora frowns.

sora: but… you never forgot, did you?

riku shrugs, and theres a moment of silence between them, before riku speaks again.

riku: maybe i was the one most important to you back then, but its not the same now. thats alright. im just happy to be your friend. i know how you feel about kai-

sora suddenly moves forward, closer to riku, now yelling as he cuts him off.

sora: i get to decide how i feel, riku! its my heart!

riku is taken aback at the shouting, and stares in shock. sora realizes hes gotten loud, and takes a moment to calm down.

dearly beloved starts to play in the bg

sora: i… i know now. maybe it took me a long time, but… i figured it out. the person most important to me… all along, its been you.

riku freezes up in pure shock. he cant believe what hes hearing. hed talked himself out of hoping for this day long ago.

sora finally smiles again.

sora: youre the one i love.

(paralleling prince eric with ariel)

BOOM FIREWORKS MAGIC SORIKU ENDGAME

riku is absolutely speechless, staring at sora with his mouth agape.

sora gives riku a sheepish grin, now growing nervous at the lack of a response.

sora: and… im the one you love… right?

after a second, riku returns soras smile– and, for the very first time in the series, starts crying.

he nods, shakily.

riku: … yeah. yeah, i do. i always have.

riku wipes at his eyes to stop crying, but its futile. the tears flow even harder.

sora feels himself start crying, too, but hes laughing at the same time.

he pulls riku into a hug, grabbing his upper back tightly.

without any hesitation whatsover, riku returns the embrace, holding onto sora in the same way.

(like so [sora in orange, riku in teal])

fade to black.

then they kill the MoM, get married, and live happily ever after. the end. :)

love balancing light and dark is largely taken from these tags by @osrinlore on this video of mine btw:

[castlebyersafterdark]

hello! I love your blog and the way you have fun here while also speaking eloquently about the dynamics and mechanics of the show. bravo for such a great space!

what do you think of people who don't see will as a main character? i've found my first on tumblr:

'i get he has importance. but also like, he is very much a plot device of Bad Stuff in at least the first 3 seasons, if not the 4th as well. (kidnapped, possessed, ominous Warnings that dont really matter except for building up tension) - we very much do only care about him because other characters do.'

this is less a comment on how they wrote will than his overall meaning in the narrative. even without the whole noah confirmation that will is BACK and BIG in s5, why do you think so many people, including GA, couldnt pick up on will's importance?

i recall first watching the show in s1 2016. even before ship wars existed, even before i knew about 'byeler' as it was called, i felt in my soul that will was important. there was a magic about him! he felt so intriguing and special. i even wrote in my journal that 'will byers is an iconic figure'. i have that old journal somewhere, and there's no elaboration! just that one sentence! haha

will was so mystical and powerful to me. i am not queer and did not pick up on this part of him, at least consciously, until s3. but something about him i adored and he mattered to me. these viewers who don't see will as important... do you think they truly missed the point of the show? if so, its a shame, but theyre very adamant that it's others who are missing the point and that we're not supposed to care for will, and i just can't see how that would ever be something the creators would want for any of their original characters. + will isn't an extra, or even a secondary character despite his lack of screentime because the heart of the story and narrative hinges around him. he is subtextually, implicitly important - this is storytelling 101!

(many of these will-indifferents also want fics of mike where will is only background/not important, even though they see mike as gay. they want a s5 gay mike arc, but where will doesnt figure in it, and i dont understand how that can make sense in this show when mike and will have always been part of each other's lives, even as friends???)

what are your thoughts my friend?

Hello!!! Glad you're here!

I honestly cannot understand Stranger Things fans who don't like Will. Or view him as non-important. Yeah, even though he was in so little season one, he is sooooooo so vital and if you don't care about that little boy, what are you doing here? The show failed you and its purpose. I cared so much from the moment he ran from that monster and disappeared, hooked for life on this silly little show. Will did that! Plot device? Sure, of course. All characters are plot devices to an extent. But to say that's all he is? We learn so much about who he is from little snippets in s1, he's a real character. Sure, we care about the story of finding him, but why do we care? Defined haunting the narrative. That's so sad if people only see him as this afterthought to move the story along.

Did people not watch season 2? I can kiiiiiind of get what people meant if we were thrown back in time to pre-s2 times and we only know what we know and as a casual watcher, maybe you just saw the show and didn't think too deep. (Not me, I loved Will and was looking forward to what else was in store with him after that s1 cliffhanger with the slug, are you kidding??? How interesting!) How can you still view Will this way after season2?

I think these people missed the point of the show. Truly. Surface level watching, I honestly don't know. I can excuse the fandom colloquial and snarky read of the "GA" because these are just people who like the show but with everything they like, it's not deeper thinking. Still goofy how they miss so many points I feel are blatant in the show, but a lot of people barely absorb what they're watching ("omg I love ST, Dustin and Steve are so funny haha I hope they bring Eddie back haha the show is so scary haha") <- like that's honestly how randos sound.

The fandom fandom people who are actively on sites like tumblr and into actual fan shit??? How do you hate Will if you're not a milkvan stan? Why?? What is the reason to care about a Mike sexuality storyline and think it has nothing to do with Will?????? Whose arc thus far has that play a huge role in his character? They are so entwined. Just say you're a FW stan and stop pretending to be anything deeper, that's totally fine, but just admit that. The rest of us aren't crazy for analyzing deeper and understanding the point of the show - that Will has always been and will always be the heart of the storyline. Season 5 gonna be a huge wake up call for a lot of people. But I try not to think about or indulge those people too often. Stay positive, ignore dumbass interpretations and takes. We know what and who are important.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I have been going back and forth in posting this, but want to have a clean slate and a clear mind going forward.

this fandom if I am being honest (and from experience in many others) has been the most roller coaster ride. it has been wonderful and blossoming, yet also, toxic and disheartening…

my current state right now, I feel as though I have been shunned from the community from all corners. stranded alone, with only a few friends (I could count them on one hand) to talk to and to trust.

I have been incredibly disappointed in this fandom by people I had considered friends, people that I believed to be sincere and kind, but over time showed a very different and ugly side.

I am not going to sugar coat this topic anymore… and be warned, I will call you out if need be, from this point on. I always had hopes that as a community mostly dominated by adults, we would act more like it, but it seems not. then accountability is necessary, because this school yard behaviour is not it.

I work most of the time, I barely even have time for a social life on top of personal things… tumblr is not my priority. but when I log in on here, I do wish and intend for this to be a space where I can relax and enjoy myself, to be creative and write and share my ideas and stories. to interact with people, to bond over characters and stories that I don’t ever get the chance to in real life, because I barely meet people with similar interests.

this is meant to be my safe haven.

recently it has been quite the opposite…

I have been gaslit, bullied & ghosted/neglected. as someone who genuinely struggles to put herself out there, I have made attempts that I am thankful for yet hurt by the experiences. putting myself in discord chats only to leave in the matter of a few days…

I have said this before and I will say it again. If I ever say anything to you directly or indirectly, and it doesn’t sit right with you. I am open to talk privately about it. I am not perfect, in fact far from it. I have flaws as do we all. I can make mistakes, I am human. if the matter can be resolved, amazing, if not: I don’t expect to get along with EVERYONE on this hellsite. the block and unfollow options are there for a reason!!!

regardless, I understand everyone has their own personal lives and issues… believe me, I DO! I am a huge advocate for life > tumblr. you need a break, take the break. you want to go on hiatus, go on hiatus. you do not owe anyone in this fandom shit, as I have reminded myself as of late. In saying that, showing people common courtesy and decency is not by any means a stretch, it should be the bare minimum.

showing support to your fanfic authors/gif makers and creators is valid and ideal.

I have taken multiple breaks because the stress and exhaustion from my work and personal life has been a lot, that I am able to remove myself from a situation, to not allow anyone else to suffer my ordeal. your actions have repercussions, and you will be held accountable.

to wrap it all up, I will continue to write my little, silly stories, I will continue to read fics. However, I have of recent been so turned off by some of the people in this community, that if I’m being honest (which I also strongly advocate for, and believe I owe whoever read this that), I have no energy to interact with people that have crossed me and made me feel less of the person I am at this point in time. my friends who I respect and admire dearly, know who they are, I don’t need to tell them twice.

when I feel comfortable with this fandom, my interactions may change, but for now. I very much enjoy my small number of friends.

thank you to those who read this entire mouthful, I genuinely appreciate the small things and taking the time out of YOUR day to read and listen to little old me, says a lot.

please take care of yourselves, and I hope that we can create a better more wholesome fandom space.

love always, Hel 🤍

[anxious-witch]

What a year, huh? We all know I have to be emotional on tumblr.com whenever the opportunity arises because that's one way I allow myself to have an emotional catharsis (for legal reasons this a joke)

In all seriousness though, this year has been a lot for me. Both in a good and bad sense, but Käärijä and Joker Out improved it significantly. And more importantly, their fandoms. (More inder the cut bc this is long af)

I have never really been someone who knows anything about the artists' whose music I listened to. Before this, I don't think I ever listened to a full album of someone, just random songs that I liked. Finding stuff from personal life of bands/musicians I liked usually made me depressed so I didn't bother.

Then, ESC 2023. happened. I frankly have no idea what flipped the switch in my head. Bojere interactions? The way people on tumblr were so welcoming even back when I was mostly posting about Let 3 and Käärijä only? I don't know, I only know that we are here now, regardless.

Another thing about me is that I used to be very pessimistic person. Likez genuinely. I have been "unofficially"(long story) diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 11, which is over a decade now. I always had a lot of bad experiences with people and really awful trust issues. I have been doing better for some time now, but it is very hard to let go of the feeling of pessimism and helplessness. In a world where awful things happen every second, what can I possibly do that would change anything?

Then ESC happened. Käärijä lost and I thought "another injustice that will never be corrected". Except, instead of feeling defeated, everyone just loved him more. In those weeks after and later on months, all I have seen had been unrelenting love and acceptance of Jere. Reminding him that despite not winning Eurovision, he is our winner and we'll forever think of him as such. Jere who has a wonderfully belly and strong thighs and is short and by no means is he conventional in any sense. And people loved him not despite all that but because all that. Because we all found ways to relate to him, or to what he went through.

His story of almost dying and still getting where he did only served to highlight that more. Because of he did it, why can't we get to what we want? Why can't I? It shifted my whole perspective.

Then, Joker Out. It is so, so funny to me how I barely paid any attention to them during ESC, except for bojere interactions and was dragged in it by the shared fandom, when now I post most about them.

But yes, JO. A band from Slovenia that while tehnically isn't Balkan, felt so close to me. Like they could understand all the things I kept to myself because of where I was. And then they showed me there is still hope.

I have never seen a band from around here take a pride flag on the stage. Never. I know it's a thing, especially abroad, but God I have never seen that happen here. And with how much love they always took it! That's...wow. It gave me hope that not only is it possible for injustices to be corrected, but that ot's possible to do it even in the environment I'm in.

And then...the Virtual Letters Project happened. Or well positive confessions that @spockowhales turned into Virtual Letters Project.

That's when I knew it's truly possible. I have seen tumblr posts, yes. But getting stuff so directly addressed about or to JO made me realize how much of a "wave" they all created. So many people said they helped them with their depression, with viewing their world differentky with meeting new peoplez with daring to do something new.

I have no words to describe how much that meant to me and I really hope that when they read those letters, they understood the impact they had.

But even that aside, I want to thank everyone in this fandom. People I have talked to, people I have interacted with it any way, through replies, reblogs, likes, anon asks. I appreciate every single one of you for helping create such a wonderful space. We had our ups and downs in the fandom, but we are all here because we love these fandoms, these people so much to keep talking about it even months after.

Thank you and I wish everyone here a wonderful New Year with even more laugh, love and positivity ❤️ have a good one

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

I’d ask for more stuff for the reader with the employers (other than Audi) but rrrrrfgg. So little content of them

I feel you Anon, but that's cuz there's jack shit info on them. This got longer than intended and tumblr wont let me save anymore to this post, so I'll make another post with Conductor and Deliberator! :]

Stygian x reader

CW: Talks of death/decay

STYGIAN

Arguably the oldest of the four widely known employers, for as long as life has existed, so too has death. Black wisps of smoke curled around his skeletal form, flowing down without pattern or consistency. His few visible features deep set in his face, from his dull pink eyes, to his cheekbones protruding prominently.

His paper thin skin seemed to barely sit on the pink toned bones, looking as if any movement would tear it away, it was something you'd wondered about often when thinking of him.

"Worm." His voice was hollow, a soulless husky rasp with a hint of airiness to it. That was how he referred to everyone he deemed below him, which was everything but his kin.

Being called upon to aid in his work was exciting, yet a heavy burden. Plenty of dead souls passed this realm, and you were part of an exclusive team of judges, dictating where each S-3LF should go. To be reborn, to be banished to purgatory, sentenced to hell, or perhaps the worst fate you'd come to learn of, to be torn asunder into nothing, scattered across the cosmic void.

Sure, purgatory and hell weren't pleasant places, but arguably seemed kinder fates that simply becoming completely undone, as though one had never existed at all...

He snapped his fingers, and you were alone in his office. "Sit." His voice was cold and commanding, yet it always had that tone. Reading him was difficult, always a frigid reception, emotionless to the fullest extent. You obeyed without a word, the chair uncomfortable and worn, unlike the one behind his desk, which was new, plush, and looked a whole lot more comfortable.

His gaunt figure passed by, and a hint of ash mixed with embalming fluids flooded your nose, still incredibly potent despite how often the smell filled your office space.

Narrow hip bones lay neath the skirt of his black floor length toga, a belt of tiny animal skulls rested around his waist. "You are being far too kind to these pathetic bugs. You have yet to submit souls to be cast into The Nothing. Weakness like this shall not be taken lightly."

"I'm sorry, sir." His eyes narrowed.

"These are unworthy beings deserving of erasure, if you can't comply, you'll find yourself joining them into obscurity."

"I'll do better, sir. I vow it."

"As is expected. You are meant to make my job easier. Remember, you are replaceable."

"Understood, sir."

You were suddenly back in your office, leaving Stygian alone in his. He sat at his desk, gritting his teeth. Yes, this little worm was weak, below him, so why couldn't he get you off his mind?

Too kind for their own good, even when he insulted them, berated and tore them apart, they were ever-so polite and always replied formally. His smoke curled around his head, growing thicker as his annoyance grew, filling the room with a black and pink haze.

He was the beast of death, reeling in souls and fixing the afterlife for all, and love and romance weren't really his deal. He was utterly blind to this, doubly so because it was mere mortal that caught his fancy.

He snapped his fingers, and at once a younger fellow Employer appeared in the chair ahead of him. "You really need to stop doing that. I was busy." Dreamer sighed and looked at Stygian. "Why did you call on me, brother?"

Stygian sighed, like a wind blowing through bones. "A mortal being plagues my mind. You deal with these things regularly, what do you propose is wrong with me?"

Dreamer twirled her star earring. "Depends, what thoughts are you thinking?"

"They infest my mind like maggots, writhing in my skin and burrowing deeper. Their face haunts my mind, a ghost trapped in my skull. Tell me Dreamer, tell me, what is wrong?"

Summoning a tea cup, Dreamer sipped thoughtfully. "You're in love."

"What?"

She giggled and rolled her eyes. "This mortal, whoever they are, you're in love with them. Indulge in it, or don't. Do what thou will, tis what thy's best at. But if you do intent to pursue them, do change out of your deathly rags, okay Steeg?" She clapped her hands, and was gone.

In love? HIM? Bullshit, Dreamer was in her own world again. No. He wasn't in love. He needed to kill you, to break you from his mind entirely, to make you cease to exist, to-

A stack of documents landed in his tray, and he groaned, taking the top one off. His eyes instantly went to the bottom, your signature freshly inked. "Perhaps the purple one has a point." He slumped in his chair slightly, casting the paper aside. Auditor could file them himself, he enjoyed that stuff anyway.

Stygian got up, melting into the floor, appearing back in his private quarters. Heading to his wardrobe, he cracked it open, seeing nothing more than old suits, funeral attire, and worn out reaper robes. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, of course his clothing was useless, he rarely took care of his physical form.

He's living death for Maker's sake, why is he fussing about this?!

"Your thoughts are disrupting my flow." Connie was sitting in a chair in Stygian's bedroom.

"Tis a shame we cannot all have coherent thoughts, Conductor." Stygian scowled angrily. "Precisely what are you intending to achieve here?"

Conductor let out a melodic chuckle, his voice smooth like a fine tuned instrument. "You're not yourself. You're... Bothered. And I don't mean your usual gloom filled irritated self." He rested his head on a fist. "And since when do you change your attire but once a century?"

Stygian gritted his sharp teeth. "Well. Fine. Dreamer may have placed..... Strange thoughts in my mind, about... 'Love.' With some mortal of all things." He threw an old suit on the floor. "And that my clothes are RAGS!"

Connie straightened his tie. "She.. Has a point on that second thing." He pulled his baton, twirling it around in his hands, a blue light shooting out and wrapping itself around Stygian, and instantly tall, dark, and depressing was in a new, freshly pressed three piece suit with a pink tie to match his eyes. "Much better."

Stygian tapped his tie, and a skull lapel pin appeared on it.

Again Conductor swirled his baton, and a fat bouquet of white lilies mixed with blood red roses appeared in Stygian's arms. "Mortals are finicky, they enjoy things like that. Now go and demand they accept your offer."

You were seated at your desk still, condemning another old soul to the void. This one had lived so many lives, so many wicked lived. Dissolving them would be a blessing to the world... That was rather cruel, unlike your usual thoughts. Strange...

"Ahem." You spun in your chair, seeing Stygian in a full suit, his misty 'hair' flowing down, streaks of pink inside inky black. "You will attend a restaurant with me tonight. We need to discuss what happened earlier in greater depth."

Stygian wasn't asking, he was commanding. "Y-yes sir." You found yourself questioning his motives, he never spent time with anyone besides his brothers and sister.

His eyes narrowed, reading you back. "Here." He grunted, thrusting his arm out, shoving the bouquet into your face. "I've been informed that your kind... enjoys such gestures."

"What.. is this?" You looked up from your roses and lilies, and spotted soft pink flushing his cheeks, his eyes averted. "Sir?"

"Just get ready." Stygian snapped his fingers, a body hugging lacy black dress, with rhinestones and intricate little patterns embroidered on, and a classy all black suit, equally bejewelled with lace gloves both appeared on your desk. "Hopefully either of those should be to your liking."

You picked out one of the garments and rushed off to the staff toilets, heart racing and hands shaking. This wasn't happening, right? In a second, Stygian's hand would slam on your desk, and he'd bark at you to wake up. Surely he hadn't picked up on your slight attraction to him, right?

It was cringe-worthy, the living embodiment of death making your stomach butterflies flutter wildly. His cold demeanour, his harsh attitude, the puppy-love feeling of him softening these traits for you, it was all a fantasy, right?

Dressing up, you stepped out, and nearly collided with Stygian, who was lingering outside. "You... look nice." He grumbled, covering his mouth. "I figured you could perhaps enhance your appearance further with this."

He held out a box, opening it to show off a beautiful necklace with pink gemstones encrusted in rose gold metal. "A-are you sure about this sir? This doesn't seem like you."

Stygian looked at you finally, smoke swirling around his skull, twirling around your face as he stepped closer. "Don't think I haven't picked up on your signals, mortal. I can hear the way your heart races when you're close to me, I feel the lingering stares that could almost imprint in my form. I've ignored it and pushed it down for as long as I could, mistaking my own affections for resentment.

You wish to entangle yourself with death? Then prove to me you're worthy of it." Your hands grasped his cheeks, passing through his misty form and grabbing a hold of the black bone beneath, pulling it towards your face, feeling his teeth against your lips.

His flames were cool, but his bones were warm, pleasantly heating your hands as you held him, one of his skeletal hands covered yours, the other pulling you closer by your hips.

A lightheaded feeling washed over you, you started to collapse in his arms, but he was quick to support you. As he pulled back, you noticed a white mist flowing from between his teeth.

"Quite literally stealing your breath away." Resting in his arms a moment, his hand rubbed your back to comfort you, the other cradling your head against his chest. "To be in love with a mortal... To my kin it's unheard of. But you're different. You always have been. You vex me, but I crave it."

He slipped the necklace around your neck, and you looked up from the comfort of his skeletal form to his pink eyes. "Does this mean you're not firing me at dinner tonight?" You joked and he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Of course not. How dare you expect me to let such a good thing go."

[cafeleningrad]

❤ 🧡💚 for asoiaf if you like <3

Heyhey, thank you very much for the asks! They've been quiet fun to think about the answers since I haven't read the books since the GoT finale debacle.

❤ Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom? The entire GoT-adaptation was a shitshow, so.... Ooof, good question. Weirdly enough a lot of mischaracterized women get mischaracterized due to their relationships towards Jon Snow. Which is weird, because homeboy is actually much more interested in his (interrupted career) of becoming an intergration officer as side of his facility management job. First, Catelyn, due to not being a member of the Jon Snow fanclub. Then our two victims of the "who gets together with Jon "facility management is my dream!" Snow" war: Not even a fan of hers, but Dany had it pretty rough! The show didn't do her any favours either, but the ship wars using any ammunition against her just to justify what a mean, terrible, utterly despicable person she is, so utterly undeserving of... Jon Snow... of all people. Then Sansa... the things that get projected onto her turned me really kind towards x-reader-fanfics - because at least they're honest about the readers themselves having a wishfullfilment fantasy, instead of using a proxy character and mischaracterizing them, and misconstruing other female characters to have their project surface avatar get together with... a dude. (And at least x-reader-fanfics can be filtered out, they don't discourse about the ideal ship for the dude character.) On the reddit side of things an 11-year-old, sheltered girl who was praised for her obedience is getting blamed for a political coup. On the tumblr side of thins you have absolute red head bombshell who will be the Queen in the North who will on a badass Kill Bill spree against all who wronged her, and end up with Jon "accounting turnips is my passion" Snow, and not her previous Beauty and the Beast themed uggos. The Stansa version of her is stripped so bare of her compassion, her emotional and diplomatic intelligence, resilience, and her Beauty and the Beast theme which actually make her a compelling character. Sorry, but wanting for her to become a ruthless queen who gets the hot guy is muchmore akin for Littlefinger's plans than Sansa wanting to build up her family and home again. (Such shallow wishfulfilment Stanversion fans are better of reading SJM.)

🧡What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with? Depends, I'm not strong in the theory/predictions side of the fandom. Mad Queen Dany ought to be my most despised though. In general, theories reinforced by the show are something I'm strongly suspicious of because D&D rather operated on shock value than logic.

💚 What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character? A lot of thoughts about Sansa are already in my rant above. And for Theon I think the fandom is for the most part pretty accurate about him being remarkable resilient (oh sure, I spent a year getting horrifically tortured physically and metally but still my tortuer's lips "look like two worms fucking), tragic, and brave but also deeply insecure, over his head, vain, and overcompensative. He's way less cool than he thinks he is, and we love him for that.

I don't know what is currently on about Young Griff, and yeah he's probably doomed to die early but there're some remarks Aeron used about Euron that make suspect that Euron is meant to be the mummer's dragon, not Young Griff.

[justajsworkshop]

Hi. I'm the 🍥 anon and I'm back. It's been nice and light 3 days and I feel much better than before. So thanks a lot for ur advice rlly.

I tried to follow whatever you said for the most part, but couldn't exactly do it all. I'm actually preparing for one of the toughest exams of my nation and I study almost 12-13 hours a day, so I'm barely free. I don't rlly like studying and plus there's a ton of other more shitty circumstances, (I just wouldn't wanna trauma dump here) so thats why I kind of was very much obsessed with the void. (changing ur whole life in an instant seems like a big win lol and also too good to be true, hence the doubts.)

But istg, in almost 8 whole months, this was the first time I was EVER away from Tumblr. Otherwise I'd be here everyday, anytime i would be free, obsessively scrolling. Time away rlly felt nice and I've decided to minimize my usage of Tumblr as much as possible. I still love Tumblr, but I feel like some things over here rlly trigger my doubts and fear.

I tried to take out time for myself tho, I listened to music, watched a movie, and tried to find the fun in life. It felt nice. I also affirmed 'I am' whenever I could. I feel like I still didn't affirm as much as I should have. I would affirm in my mind every time I meditated since thats when I feel the most at peace. But I'm still going to continue affirming 'I am'.

About the intention part, I wrote that I'm excellent at math and surprisingly, one of the math chapters that everybody finds difficult seemed like a child's play to me.

I also feel like I can have whatever I want to now, and maybe just not yet, but very soon. I also feel like this is meant for me. So thankyou so much for that as well.

Now I actually want to start learning and applying the law since I never paid much attention to it due to my void obsession. Even though I still want to tap into the void and manifest my dream life as soon as possible, I just feel like I could try applying the law as well.

So overall, thankyou so much. Really I'm very grateful and I will await your response.

hello again, and welcome back! this is a great update. i love to hear it. you 100% created that shift with your math studies, no doubt. that's amazing! def give yourself lots of credit for making that happen for yourself because YOU are source. you really did execute the law perfectly in that regard.

i'll also add that the law is working all the time. there's no on or off switch to manifesting/shifting. it's just a matter of us choosing to consciously wield what we do naturally. we're accepting that we are the awareness that has the freewill to choose what we want to experience in physical reality. and i think it's worth mentioning that the law above all laws is the law of being, not even just the law of assumption.

this is why i recommend to everyone to focus less on how much you're affirming, what you're affirming, what your desires are, when it's all going to happen, if it's possible, etc. the only question that matters (and has any power, tbh) is who: who and what are you conscious of being? the limited self? the self who's victimized by circumstances? the self who has no control or power or neeeeeeeeds to tap into the void (something you perceive as separate and more powerful than you, along with difficult to attain) to get what you want because you don't think you're powerful enough as a creator to have the life you desire right here and now?

i understand the void obsession. like, i really, really do. boy, have i been there. but i think it's also worth getting curious about why it's something you obsess over or feel like you need. what story are you telling about yourself through this obsession with the void? anything you want to manifest through the void can be manifested without because you're the operant/omnipotent power of your experience.

i understand the desire for instant radical change, but saying to yourself that you can only accomplish that via the void state simultaneously claims you are not capable of instant radical change by yourself. do you see how these statements are one in the same? as a result, you get stuck in a constant feedback loop of nonfulfillment and feeling like nothing is changing because your beingness is convicted of the truth that you cannot change/you cannot create change. you need this thing you perceive to be outside/greater/more powerful than you to be capable of having what you want.

not to mention, the void state is just... you. there's no separation. it's not some dark entity outside of you that you have to placate and satisfy to win over its good graces. but if you secretly believe that, you'll create the lived experience of it.

i really recommend taking time to just enjoy imagining yourself living your dream life—without placing any unhelpful judgments on that imaginal experience such as it's '"just" in imagination, when will it get here, how is that even possible, blah blah blah. just imagine yourself as you desire to be and just BE that version of self, even for a few moments a day or right before bed/as you're falling asleep. and imagination doesn't just mean visualizing; you can affirm, too, although anytime you "remember" something, it's equally as powerful as imagining. so just play scenes in your head like they're memories because, honestly, they are. all imagining is remembering, and all remembering is imagining. remember yourself as you would like to be. it's not about the level of detail or specificity; it's just about if you're allowing yourself to BE that person.

so, give yourself permission to just be the you you desire to be here and now, and let life give you that version of experiencing reality. you don't have to brute force anything. you don't have to affirm 16 hours straight. you don't have to DO anything at all. this is and has always been a story about beingness. be the you that makes you feel happy and fulfilled within. it's your birthright and who you truly are, after all, so why would you want to keep masquerading as anyone else? including a version of self who is miserable and unfulfilled?

[20dimensionsoftangerine]

20 D20 Fanfics

My friend @remidyal ranked their fics once they had written 20 of them. I have just finished my 20th story so I’d figure I would do that too! Dice rules so 1 is the worst and 20 is the best

1. Drowning in the Ink

I had the thought ‘what if Rosamund and Gerard got caught when they went to find Elody’. I still think this is a good thought and want to re-explore it but my execution in this story wasn’t the best. Writing it before the finale was out meant I was working with half knowledge on a lot of characters that I think shows. Plus, I saw a lot of people on Tumblr saying the Princesses’ plan was actually good and I got annoyed at that and it definitely bled through in the story too much. I’ll probably redo and expand this one sometime in the future!

2. Old Habits

I often dislike my most recent creations. It’s got too much me on it still. I haven’t distanced myself from the art yet. So this one was me trying a few things outside of my comfort zone and I really don’t feel like any of them turned out as well as they could have. I can barely even speak of it at this point the emotions are too fresh!

3. Safety

Not much to say about this. Shortest thing I’ve ever written and I do like how it turned out but it’s definitely… short. I enjoy Gorgug and Adaine interacting, I enjoy Adaine scared, but nothing makes this little guy stand out.

4. Half Siblings are a Whole Deal

This one honestly isn’t even supposed to be good. It’s a direct retelling of canon featuring my OC, that premise isn’t going to win any Hugo awards! But it’s fun and I want to explore how Fig’s character would change if she wasn’t going through her family drama alone. If she had to be, heaven forbid, responsible. I do plan on continuing it! I’ve got some good ideas for the end that I’ve already set up.

5. Additions to the Beehive

I think this one is so low just because I didn’t really like the latest chapter I put out. Plus, I don’t really have a solid plan for this story. I have a few scenes I want to do, character beats and themes I want to flesh out, but exactly what’s going to happen is a mystery. The title’s really solid though.

6. Blight

Pains me to put this so low because Remidyal’s Poison series is so solid and Penelope Everpetal is so fun but I kinda stumbled through it. There’s a couple sections I straight up should have deleted and a couple more I should have added. I do think I got the right vibe down, though, and I really want to do more with Penelope in the future.

7. Sneaking In Sneaking Out

I’m going to be honest, I just wanted to write some scenes about sneaking into buildings. It was really fun and I felt clever writing it. I also liked making Aelwyn really really mean especially because Remidyal had posted Camp right before where she was pretty darn nice. Not much happening in this story but it was fun!

8. No Blood Relations

I dunno this one is fine. As stated before, exploring Fig having to go through her parents divorce with someone is very compelling. I also liked pitting Adaine and Fig against each other a little bit, it felt very real to how siblings of divorce act. Too real. I’m kind of blocking it out.

9. Tender Love and Care

I liked this one a lot. It’s supposed to be romance but I don’t think I really it comes through (because I’m bad with romance) but I really liked getting into a desperate Fabian’s head. I think I did well with the physical environment in this one too, something I usually struggle with. And the line at the end of Fabian’s section? Where it says ‘he prayed to the only god he ever believed in. “Kristen please.”’. I know I’m the one who wrote it but I think about it daily.

10. Ring a Bell

Right in the middle! I really like the chapters I have out for this one so far and I’m excited for the plan of where I’m taking it. Only time will tell if I can pull it off into being a good cohesive story but for now this bad boy has potential!

11. Please Wake Up, Please Don’t Sleep

My other Neverafter Fic! This one I am much more proud of. I think I really got the voices of all the characters down and managed to make an interesting little scene out of a relatively simple concept. Rosumand is just a teenager! Someone give her a hug I am begging.

12. For Want of Citizenship

I think this story is severely underrated honestly. I got Goldenhoard’s voice down pat and the pacing of the story flowed really well with nice details that I often forget to include to center the reader. Plus, it’s a ‘what if’ scenario that gnawed at me from the moment the pieces were in place and I was sad nothing ever came of it in canon. Patched a hole in my mind this story did.

13. Horrified Looks from Everyone in the Room

Ah, the story to start us off. My second highest kudos still. Which is wild. It’s a good fic for sure! I think Fabian’s and Riz’s sections both shone and it really started off my addiction of giving Adaine a Bad Time. Definitely things I would change about it if I had to do it again but overall I can see why it’s still so popular and I’m very proud of it!

14. Rule Number One

The other story to kick things off! Can’t believe the prompt ‘Riz lets Biz think they’re friends just a little longer’ started a whole expanded AU. I still think this one’s great! Sticking in Riz’s point of view so the reader couldn’t even tell Adaine was having a whole episode until she started sobbing mid sentence was wonderful. Riz’s guilt and justifications were so juicy. And! Everyone liked my weird Rule quirk I gave to Adaine which I had fun playing with. This one isn’t higher because I think some of the information about the changes in this AU could have been given out in a smoother way but overall one of my best.

15. Fabian’s Sister and Other Perks of Punching an Ambassador

Firstly, name’s bad. My worst titled fic. But it’d okay we love it anyway. I very much like what I’ve got going on with this story. Exploring Fabian and Adaine’s relationship in a unique light, fleshing out Bill and especially Hallariel, even fleshing out some of Fabian and Adaine’s insecurities! I’m nearing sort of the end of the fic (I’m at least half way through) and I’m excited where it’s going too! There are some things I wish I had spent more time on (the other bad kids, Cathilda, ect) but what I do have is solid and streamlined enough for me not to be too sad about that!

16. The Good Wizard Gorgug

My. Most. Underrated. Fic! This is such a solid story I adore it. Gorgug is my baby boy and it was so much fun exploring Adaine’s character through him. The steady climb of them becoming better and better friends, growing more confident and relaxed around each other, only for it to all come crashing down to be slowly built up once again. I love it! I love Wizard Gorgug! What a good good boy.

17. Babysitting a (High) Elf

This one was also fairly recent but I really liked how it turned out! There were things I wanted to explore with this, Gorthalax’s guilt about not being there for Fig all these years, Adaine’s complicated emotions about being abandoned, and I felt I pulled it off well. I also think I did a good job making it funny and writing high Adaine as silly while still noticeably herself. Until I sucker punched her at the end. I couldn’t resist though.

18. Mastermind Introductions

Everything I set out to do in this fic I did flawlessly. I wanted to rewrite Adaine’s introduction scene and hit a lot of the same ‘beats’ but with the special AU twist. Aelwyn and her fight in the beginning (where Adaine kind of started it and then very much failed to end it), stealing the book and then being embarrassed by Fig and Kristen’s help, stuff like that! I really felt like I pulled it off and introduced the other Bad Kids just as well as I did Adaine. If I would change anything it would just to tweak a few details to fit better in my new vision for the overall AU. But besides that it’s a flawless work!

19. The Young Oracle

Yes! I was really worried about this one because of all of the weird time jumps. But I couldn’t not have weird time jumps. It was a story about a very powerful diviner! It couldn’t have time be linear! And I think it wouldn’t have made sense if everything had been in order, funnily enough. But besides all that I really like the tone I set for the story, the details I put into the world, (how I managed it without ever watching SY), and I have been thinking about the expanded version of this AU excessively. Is it a perfect story? Nah, but I adore it perhaps the most of all my fics.

20. Property Of

In a move that caught even me by surprise, Property Of wins! It’s my first muti-chapter I’ve finished, it’s got a really solid character arc, and I feel like I let the tone slip from silly to wild and unnerving in a very smooth slide. Plus I just… had a lot of fun writing it. I couldn’t seem to put it down for a second and when I blinked I was over 10k words! It was supposed to be a one shot! How naive I was! So yeah, I’m proud of it, it was fun to write, and it’s fun to reread and think about the implications. Nat 20!

[mercuryonparklane]

Some quick thoughts on SNTV:

“I Can See You” is Tayliz

“Electric Touch” is either Tayliz v Taymily (requited v unrequited) or Swiftgron v Tayliz (more likely the first option considering the clear references to “Breathe”)

“When Emma Falls In Love”, “Foolish One”, and “Enchanted” could be about her unrequited crush on Emma S.

I’m very happy that she brought Liz (and Caitlin) back for this one, but I expected she would since she had already brought her back for Red TV. I still wish we could get an actual feature, though (“Better Man” was so close), their voices sound amazing together (maybe even more so now than they did when Liz was in the band).

I do not believe in late stage anything, including Tayliz. I think the rerecording process (which probably began to some extent before the pandemic in 2020) had her reflecting a lot on the past and previous relationships/situationships. That’s why there seems to be a lot of reminiscing about and references to older songs and past relationships on folklore, evermore, and Midnights.

I haven’t felt like posting as much about Tayliz, hence why this blog has become essentially inactive, because I noticed Liz seemed like the type who would manage to stumble across the theories (not this blog in particular, just all the Twitter and TikTok stuff) and I didn’t feel like adding much more to that discussion. And, in fact, I deleted and archived some of my previous posts for that reason.

I have seen tweets the last couple days about Liz watching Tayliz stuff, so I’m not super comfortable with that (that’s just a personal thing, not an admonishing or strong judgment on anyone who feels comfortable doing so). I’ll stick to my once in a blue moon tumblr posts, where I actively avoid using last names haha.

I do think they may have had something in the past and that Taylor has possibly written songs about her and vice versa, but neither one of them have made a clear statement on their sexuality and Liz seems to be currently dating one of her longtime close friends.

I think Taylor and Liz, for whatever reason, had a little bit of a falling out around fall 2012, but are on good terms now and likely have been for many years. Liz is one Taylor’s oldest friends at this point and she (and Caitlin) was there to see first hand the transition from playing small shows in bars to selling out arenas. She’s one of her few “industry” friends who knew her and admired/supported her before she blew up, so I do hope they are at least friends at this point.

I still think Tayliz is way more likely Taylor/Martin or any of the alleged public boyfriends, slightly less likely than Taylianne, and moderately less likely than Swiftgron and Kaylor.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m like 90% convinced that they had a situationship, and at the bare minimum had a very strong romantic friendship, it’s just that I am always skeptical about everything, so unless one of them confirms it, I can’t be fully on board. At this moment, I do believe they had a situationship and that both have written multiple songs about the other and have referenced each other in music videos. I am not convinced that they ever had any kind of defined, serious, committed relationship. I definitely find Tayliz far more convincing than any of the men we are meant to believe Taylor has been attracted to.

[linewire]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

thank you for tagging me @wisteria-wisteria <3 (holding your hand in the liminal space that is the asian timezone on tumblr)

1. Who or what got you into F1?

This fic by greenstuff on ao3. Such a good fic, so good that it made me look into F1 more so I could understand it better. Then I watched the first season of DTS and got WAY too attached to Max because I love a villain. After I started reading Lestappen fics, I knew I was in this thing for the long haul.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

I was a Red Bull girlie from the start because of that fic, and I guess I was a Danny fan for a couple minutes before Max appeared on screen.

Still a Red Bull girlie but not so much a Daniel fan anymore.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

Max and Charles. Max slightly more but not by much. Hoping, praying, manifesting an actual championship battle between them, like idc who wins, I just need to see them fighting like they're always meant to.

Truly do not hate any other driver, just mostly indifferent to a lot of them.

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

Lestappen is my ride or die. For all the typical reasons. *Insert that Mr Knightley quote about how if I loved them less, I might be able to talk about them more.*

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

My dad's a Schumacher girl, like as in he only watched F1 for him then stopped when he left. I sorta got him back into it because I started talking to him about my interest. My mom and my step dad are Mercedes/Hamilton fans, though I think she only likes him because he also has a bulldog.

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

Monaco 23 was the first race I watched live so that holds a special place in my heart. Singapore 23 and Mexico 23 also stand out to me because those are the ones I watched live with my friends uwu.

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

Honestly, kinda basic but I do like Monaco even though its place on the calendar is kinda contentious. Purely for aesthetics, not necessarily for the race quality. Hopefully Charles can win it before it gets taken off the calendar (though idk if that's gonna happen).

Still trying to learn what my actual fav is for quality of races, though. All the classic non street circuits are good for that I guess.

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

I live in a country where the nearest track is a whole plane flight away so no. I don't even know if I'd like to go because the footage I've seen from races looks kinda underwhelming LMAO. Though I wouldn't say no if someone invited me. Especially if it's to Monaco or Zandvoort.

This completely doesn't count but the old place where my step dad worked was one of McLaren's sponsors back in the day and got tickets to Sepang. I just thought it was a cool story.

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

No and thank god. I couldn't bare to look Max Verstappen or Charles Leclerc in the eye after writing them fucking nasty for all of you. I think I'd pass out if I was in the same room as Max though, like my body would just shut down.

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

He <3

I also like the old Marlboro liveries and I think tobacco companies should be allowed to sponsor teams just so we can get cunty liveries. Like can you imagine a Red Bull Marlboro Blue sponsorship?

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

Oscar? Does winning a sprint count?

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

Max has some great one liners, like "Maybe God is with Hamilton but he is not god," and that thing about sucking on an egg (king of duality <3). I also really like the quote of Charles talking about how his grandmother would sew little crosses on his race suits.

Tagging anyone that wants to participate but specifically @carronyaflowers @itshoneywhatever and @amarynas

[wellitsjustmeagain]

Sappy sleepy moment here now that I've just crawled into bed and have to return to work tomorrow

Sorry, using tumblr as a journal again, but it's a nice way to work through things. 💕

Often I think about the philosophy teacher who taught the ethics course I had to take in college. He was the type of teacher who stood in front of the classroom without notes, could talk for the two hour period in a way that was almost leisurely and easy to understand, and answered any and all questions with barely hesitation off the cuff.

You could tell he liked what he did. He enjoyed the subject matter, and knew the course in a way that looked effortless. I love teachers who can talk about complicated subjects in easy ways. Knowing the content so familiarly that you can meet people at every level. It makes it accessible. I feel like being able to accurately turn jargon into common language is such a testament to a deep understanding and the work that goes into really knowing something. Often when I learn things my biggest goal is getting to a point where I could explain it to someone else.

ANYWAY, I don't agree with a lot of Aristotle, and to be honest I don't remember as much from the course as I'd like to in general. So earnestly, I can't speak much to moral ethics in a way that's backed by any of the greats, and in sorry if I butcher this entirely haha. But I enjoyed the concept of intention in habits. That to do things well, meant to do things intentionally and exceptionally over and over again. That within the bell curve of being good at something can mean you become carelessly confident in the act of doing what you had once put quality effort into. No longer mindfully doing the tasks you've done a million times.

I've spent a lot of time on vacation dreading going back, and dreading what I have or have not done productively. Of feeling like I should be fixing my life with this time and creating new and interesting things. To have a great deal to show for it. But the truth is, that I just needed rest! And needed to be aimless. And I needed to not have anyone need anything from me for periods of time. That hanging out with family, sometimes friends, and rearranging and cleaning and going through things in my apartment is good! That the times I took notes were good! That it was okay that I slept a lot and spent majority of my time getting lost in the sisyphean tasks of dishes and laundry and tidy ups while twitch streams and vods played in the background!

I put in a lot of work over the last few years in regard to shame not being a good motivator for me. That I constantly feel shameful. Shameful of doing too much or not enough. Shame over not knowing what to do or what the right thing to do is. Or even what order to do things in, and then not doing anything in a decision paralysis stupor. Nothing constructive comes from this shame, so it had to be reworked.

And I got really good at it! But I was good at it because I was mindful of it. Because I made sure to steer thoughts that weren't productive into kinder, and more understanding alternatives. But in that confidence of getting better, it's easy to think I no longer needed that effort. That I've fixed it, and am cured! But throughout this entire vacation I was so harsh with myself, and I'm realizing now that that's kind of silly, and unnecessary. So we're rephrasing!

I'm proud of myself for crawling into bed earlier (though it's now well past 1am, it was bound to happen)

I'm proud of myself for getting things cozy and cleaner before the week started. For sneaking in dishes before quiet hours. And I'm proud of myself for doing some sort of bed time routine before crawling under the covers. I'm proud of myself for remembering my alarm!

I'm proud of the progress I made to change my living space. And I'm proud of the doodles I did here and there.

I'm proud of the amount of time I slept. I'm proud of asking for help when I've needed it. And I'm proud of myself for being kind and thoughtful to myself right now, despite feeling so much dread about returning to work.

I'm proud of myself for knowing that it feels really good when someone else sings these praises to me instead, but it's just as good and important (if not more so) that I do it for myself.

It's all going to be ok. It'll take practice, always, but I'll be ok!!

[queermarzipan]

[Image ID:

The first image is a screenshot of a quote tweet. It responds to a tweet reading "Why is this generation so comfortable disrespecting God? Aren't you scared ???". The response reads, "So you agree? Christianity is reinforced through fear instead of faith?" and is accompanied by with the meme screencap of Regina George leaning over the table with a predatory smile.

The second image is a screenshot of tumblr tags. They read:

#i was raised catholic but am not anymore #and when i asked one if my baptist friends in college why i should fear god #she told me that it was how you love #and she didnt see anytging wring with that #she said you fear your parents right? #andime my parents arent perfect and weve had our share of issues but ive never feared them #and she thought I WAS the crazy one for thinking that i shouldnt be afraid of the entity that supposedly created us #so many christians especially the very right wing ones tie fear with love #thats why you see them in unhappy and unbalanced marriages too #because the woman has toove the man but love here is synonymous with fear #cause to them the man is higher up than the woman #so when you take that away as with lil nas x did in his new mv #they dont know what to do and cant keep you in line because those tactics no longer work #you realize that love is NOT fear and lil nas x took his power back and made love to be joyous and sexy #i had a thought process but im running out of time before work so please excuse my rambling

/End ID]

@evilkitten3 i NEED to preserve your tags:

#i'm jewish and was raised in a secular household and didn't have much religious thoughts at all until adulthood #but like. my belief is this: if there is a g-d - no clue if there is; probably we aren't supposed to know - i don't need to fear them #how g-d loves me is up to g-d. but i don't believe that love is something i should be afraid of or try to control #any deity existing on the scale typically presented in monotheistic religions would realistically be borderline incomprehensible to humans #little kids can barely understand how five minutes isn't a long time to adults. how am i meant to understand eternity? #there's no way to find out anything for sure until you die and there's no guarantee you'll find out anything even after that #so i don't think it's important to try and please g-d or even to try and understand what g-d is and what that means #i think what really matters is doing what you believe is right and making the most out of the time you're given #anyway my point is that i've never understood when xtians say they fear the deity they worship #why? why do you need to be afraid of him? if you believe he loves you why do you also believe it when people say he wants to hurt you? #why would you WANT to believe that?

sooo uh. yeah this is extremely. this is very real. i still sing at my local church bc it's a good time even though i lost my faith and. the phrase "fear the lord" comes up in the more traditional hymns a LOT. and it's always a positive. it is literally a synonym for "love" or "know" or "embrace".

i remember being taken aback as a young catholic and asking my mom what word was SUPPOSED to be there bc they clearly made a mistake (bc why would you fear the lord?? if the lord is good??) and the response was half "oh fear meant something different back then" and half "being afraid of him is natural when you believe in him because he is so powerful".

like. i grimaced all the way through that psalm. i still sing it sometimes. but yea the conflation of fear and love in christianity is VERY real and VERY present and literally baked into the scripture. i Do Not understand it

Christians hate when a gay man goes “fuck it, I’ll gladly go to Hell if you want me to so bad” because it takes the edge away from their tools of fear. If they can’t scare you with threats of eternal damnation then one of their main weapons is taken away.

[readingoals]

I feel like I say this a lot in regards to aspec books but I really wanted to like this more than I did.

Now, maybe my problem is partly that a lot of aro and/or ace books are YA and I typically don't pick up YA anymore, but I think I feel justified in giving this book 2 stars even taking that into account.

Apologies, but it's going to get long and ranty so I'm putting this under a cut.

I hated the writing style. It was written in third person but to me it felt very clear that the author wanted to write in first person and was talked out of it. There are constant interruptions throughout the text of little side comments in brackets. (They looked like this.) (Often with two or three or even more in a row) (I think it was meant to come across as cute and quirky because oh boy is the MC supposed to be adorkable but fuck it annoyed me). And because it was written in third person but at least half of these bracketed interjections felt as if it was the MC commenting on things or they were her thoughts, the tone ended up being confusing. Every time the text said "Alice did this" or "Alice went there" I was like surprised because I expected it to be more from her point of view.

Speaking of Alice. Though she's like 19 or 20 in the story, she reads as quite a bit younger. Half of what she says sounds as if she's quoting the most annoying tumblrina possible. She says squee and has a "cutie code" which she uses to rank everything and her reactions to so much of what happens in the story felt like how a high schooler would react. Her only interests seem to be Netflix and food, but she refuses to learn to cook because she injured herself a couple of times when she did try. She writes analytical essays about the shows she watches which is fun except she says it's because shes like too sophisticated for fanfic or something which feels kinda shitty. And when a friend dares to suggest she might like dating someone who is also ace, she dismisses it out of hand.

The love interest was boring - his most defining feature was how hot he was - and more than once he seemed to overstep boundaries Alice had set (bugging her at work when she'd asked him not to, taking photos of her while she slept even tho shed made it clear she didnt love having her photo taken) but it was always positioned as him being cute and showing interest in her rather than it being creepy or rude. Similarly, the secondary characters were all pretty one dimensional.

As for plot. It was pretty weak. I kept waiting for anything to happen. Theres a whole thing about Alice being pushed by her family to become a lawyer even though she doesn't want to. And shes always going on about how she loves decorating rooms but as soon as someone suggests she should get into an interior design course she seems surprised it's a real job. Sorry but by the time I was 19 I knew what a fucking interior designer was! Especially for someone watching as much tv as she does....theres so many shows about decorating houses.

And then we get to the real big issues. Alice is asexual, which is great. Except that she's written so fucking badly. The way she talks about and explains her experiences with sex are contradictory. She frequently quotes tumblr when explaining being ace but doesn't seem to understand any of what she says. The author fell back on tired tropes and misunderstandings of asexuality. In fact Alice is barely a character who happens to be asexual. She is asexuality dressed up as a character. All she thinks about is being ace and not knowing if she wants sex or not. It's boring.

This isn't a spoiler since it's in the blurb and like chapter 1, but Alice's girlfriend breaks up with her because Alice doesn't want to have sex as much as she does. She is then positioned as evil through the whole rest of the book, completely demonised for it, even though Alice literally never told her she was ace. And then when the love interest says some similar things at one point, then it's glossed over and fixed in a day. They never have a real conversation about it, or about how to navigate a relationship when one of them is ace (and seemingly sex repulsed? Altho maybe not for him? It's never made clear) and the other is allo. In fact no one has any proper conversations about anything through the whole damn book.

At one point I thought we were going to get something real. Theres a scene at a party. Alice is hit on by a drunk guy who says some pretty gross things based on her skin colour. It would have been a fantastic opportunity to start a dialogue about how Alice's experiences as a black woman intersect with her asexual identity, especially in regards to being fetishised and sexualised because of racist stereotypes, and how experiencing that would feel as someone with no interest in sex. Instead it was glossed over and forgotten. And then a couple chapters later we got a pointless deep dive explanation into the idea of platonic soulmates which felt like the author was once again trying to prove her characters were friends without really doing the work to show it.

Look, you can tell the author was trying hard but she completely missed the mark, especially in regards to asexuality and what that means. She hit all the big dot points - that arousal and attraction are two different things, that there are multiple types of attraction, that asexuals can have and enjoy sex, that you can love someone romantically and still not want to have sex with them. And yet it felt as if the minute it was on the page, she totally forgot about it in order to manufacture the drama.

A total disappointment.

[cottoncandy-cult]

Tw because I talk about a very dark anime near the end of my little ramble. I'll mark the end of the safety zone, under that is enter at your own risk 18 and up territory because the show I'm describing is basically the nuclear darkest side of history and has a lot of messed up events.

Never realized how active the Twisted Wonderland fandom was on Ao3 til now, I've yet to really find a place to stick as far as fandoms so Ao3 stills very distant and impersonal to me compared to places like here and and Wattpad. Like for me so far it feels like Ao3 is really professionally distant, Tumblr is a middle ground of friendly and responsive but still a little distant, while Wattpad feels like a house party. Like you know those Richboy Gojo fics that talk about Geto and Gojo always holding house parties where it's basically anyone who wants to show up can? Yeah that's how wattpad feels. It's where I started writing, so it's kinda like walking into your best friend's house during an active house party. I know where the kitchen is, I know where the drinks are, I recognize a lot of the people there even if I don't know them personally. I feel like Shoko at one of Geto or Gojo's parties.... I'm not sure why this got long, I was just trying to explain that Ao3 feels really solitary. But no, overall my point is I moved my Babification event for Twisted Wonderland on here to there last night. About 8 hours in I have 189 hits, a bookmark and 7 kudos. So I can definitely see that certain fandoms are more active than others. And I'm kinda bummed cause I'm like 99% sure that most of the anime I write for are gonna be dead fandoms or very low activity fandoms. I know this because the fandoms are already pretty low activity even on Wattpad and here. Like Black Blood Brothers, it was an old vampire anime with an interesting premise that fell off because it wasn't immediately popular. (The manga and anime world is cut throat, the underground anime market is saturated.) Now bare in mind it isn't cancelled, they just dropped it after it's first season. (Only 12 episodes but I really liked it). The fandom has been active enough that people have talked about petitioning for a remake or continuation, but not so active that there is a whole lot of interaction with their content. Sometimes these anime don't have any content available, much less limited content. I'd be happy with black blood brothers fluff. And I've always considered doing a rant and ramble series on anime I love but the fanbase is dead or just has a disproportionate number of willing readers to capable producers. Cause some of these anime I genuinely believe need more attention, especially when it comes to ones like BBB. Where they aren't really cancelled, just kind of sat aside. Cases like that would be the easiest to bring back.

🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

Though I know some anime probably aren't gonna be popular, people won't want to remake them because they're to risky. Like Basilisk (and it's later part Basilisk Ouka Ninja Scroll), this anime comes with so many trigger warnings. It has a lot of basis in Japanese history, but it does have a touch of "magic", but when I say history I don't mean the prettier sides. There is blood and gore, there is sexual abuse (it's once in each part of the series the women that it happens too are "enemy" kunoichi, there is base for this in history as many diaries have been uncovered over the years talking about how female ninja are warned about being caught and in some cases are "prepared" to handle sexual torture. I took a couple advanced history classes in highschool and history is always way way darker than the blood splattered one we're taught in the regular classes. I had a couple classes where you and your parents had to sign wavers stating you knew that some of what we'd be learning about could be very dark and messed up. Not excusing it, just adding context as to where this is likely coming from. As it is meant to be based in history, unfiltered and at its worst ) and that's just the start, political corruption, abuse, torture, trauma, self harm and suicide, manipulation and gaslighting, sexism, and in the second part at the very end a psycho tries to force the 2 main characters (which were reincarnations of the characters from the first part, and came back as siblings raised separate.) Into incest to use the corrupted virgin blood to resurrect Nobunaga Oda. There is kinda boy love but it's in that screwy historical way, it is an overall dark anime that is not meant for the squeamish or easily triggered. It's unapologetic in how it represents the darkest parts of the time period. So I can understand why it never got super popular, and why it can probably never be remade in this day and age. Plus the ending of the whole whirlwind is very bittersweet, so if your mental health is easily damaged or it is currently in question. I wouldn't recommend bingeing it all at once (it isn't a very long series, 24 in Basilisk and 24 in Basilisk Ouka Ninja scrolls. You could probably skip Ouka Ninja scrolls as it takes a very sad ending and makes it sadder. So it's very watch at your own risk.

I kind of lost the plot, I don't really remember why any of this was important. Just kinda felt like talking about something even if it isn't to anyone specific. I was enjoying a bit of rum while I transferred my stuff to Ao3 in case something happens with Tumblr. So uh... I guess check out my Ao3 if you're interested in any of my Ao3 exclusive writings. I have links to 2 of my books in my Masterlist, scroll all the way to bottom and ignore my singular attempt at smut on here. It isn't as good as my Ao3 smut.

[wurmeatworld]

As an artist, I think ai art is a very complex issue. Yes it can be used as a tool to advance creativity, but capitalism ultimately twists it so that it is not used ethically.

I like some ai generated memes. Its really funny to watch Joe Biden banter with Leon S Kennedy, or watch deepfakes of Preminger singing Lady Gaga. But I feel like the same humor could be achieved without the use of ai. You could splice together lines ala ytp or animate Preminger singing. It just requires more time and skill, and thats really the draw of ai. Ai helps a greater pool of people do things they normally couldnt do because it cuts out the work.

The capability to expand what people can do and create is good! I once followed a disabled person on tumblr who made ai art for personal use because his disability meant he couldn't draw. Ive also used ai art generators in the past, back when the results were super uncanny and whacky, to generate funny images or interesting eldritch horror-y art. If ai art wasn't built upon so much stolen art, that'd be a completely beautiful thing. Id love to donate my art to an ai program that only trains on explicitly donated work. I think thatd be really cool. But most people Ive seen making ai art and ai art generators are tech bros who only care about end results and money instead of appreciating the intent, technique, and artistry that artists pour into their work. And of course, not giving two shits about us getting paid.

Ive seen people make ai to intentionally copy the works of particular artists. It's almost indistinguishable from their art style, and to me, that feels insulting. These artists put so much work into their art, only for someone to churn out much more art in their style, and faster. Copying art you like has always been a thing among artists, to pay homage to creators and to learn new things by studying, but these ai art pieces that explicity train on an artists work and replicate their style feel... really hollow. Wheras among most artists, their replication comes from a place of respect and admiration, and requires truly learning and following the techniques an artist used, ai art just pulls from already existing assets with no real direction to guide it except a simple prompt. Theres no respect for the artist here, just someone who wants more of an artists work but doesnt actually care about the artist themself.

The amount of labor you need to create ai art vs regular art, and how ai art steals work from artists, is a discussion all on its own. This doesnt really have an easy black and white solution because of capitalism. In a world where we wouldnt need money to survive, it wouldnt really matter that ai art takes less effort to make because it wouldnt infringe on artists livlihoods. But as it is, and especially in our "quantity and familiarity over quality" consumerist culture, the attention it takes from artists can cause loss of revenue, and people offering ai art commissions only hurt artists more. The most popular areas of the internet already arent great platforms for artists, even though were forced to use them. Our culture doesnt really value our work, and most artists offer their work for ridiculously low prices just to sell anything at all. My pixel art commissions are $9. $9 for hours of sitting at my computer, working and shaping and reworking the pixels until theyre just right. Color, position, everything has a lot of time, care, and skill put into it. I wish I could charge double what I pay, but I have an extremely small platform, so Im forced to charge barely anything at all. If we did not need money to survive, it wouldnt be that big of a deal. But we do. So it is.

And as things stand, even disregarding the problem of capitalism, theres just too many harmful ways ai can be exploited because theres barely any regulation. The deepfaked nudes, the easy misinformation, etc. I personally dont think regulation will be enough bc the base problem is caused by capitalism, and tbh I think media literacy plays a huge part, but there still needs to be. Its just an incredibly dangerous technology as it stands right now.

Also worth noting, is how algorithms can easily lead to radicalization. A study came out showing that new tiktok users who watch certain "gateway" content will gradually be shown more and more extremist stuff. (Source: x *) Especially on social media sites, which are designed to promote controversial posts because theres more engagement, this can lead to someone potentially becoming part of a hate group. I bet theres ways algorithms could be written to prevent this, but everyone wants money, so its probably not gonna change anytime soon. Consumerism is a bitch.

Also, algorithms promote the most commonly accepted ideas, which causes bias and can cause social and scientific progress to become stagnant at best, and actively harmful at worst.

Basically, ai needs to be better regulated, capitalism sucks, and ai art is a whole can of worms. I feel like humanity needs to keep ai art on the highest shelf until we can work out the ethical dilemmas we already have.

(This was originally a comment I left on this video, but I put a lot of thought into it so I thought I'd repost it here. Please watch the video, it brings up more ideas on ai and is just a fun watch)

*Its a youtube video and the info is compressed and presented quickly, but sources are all linked.

[blackbird-brewster]

for the fic ask thing. 2, 13, 27 for folled around

Thanks Anon!

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

Okay, I was actually surprised by this! Here are my top five additional tags: Tumblr Prompt (36) Fluff (35) Canon Queer Character of Colour (33) << LOVE YOU TARA LEWIS! Angst (22) Friends to Lovers (9) I did NOT think I had more fluff than angst tbrh! (This doesn't account for things tagged as both, so we're just gonna take this at face value). That really has been the biggest difference in my current writing vs my old stuff. When I first started writing Jemily, I was going through the worst years of my life and that was very clearly reflected in my writing. While now, I'm very contented in life and my writing is much more fluffy. (Even my heavy angst like [i can't be wrong (to be craving you)] is a lot different -- I didn't kill anyone in it!)

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

I think I have plenty of old stuff that's jealous love triangle dynamics (JJ/Emily & Will), but I'm too old for jealousy and honestly, I'm far too polyam to write that stuff now. I'll let everyone else write that and I'm just going to keep focusing on writing healthy polyam and open relationships, because we don't have enough fic exploring these type of relationships. I think for me, I'm just done with heternormativity and comhet tomfoolery in fic writing. Even though I exclusively write femslash, in the past I've still written fics that follow a heteronormative relationship. They get together, they move in together, they get engaged, they get married, they have kids, etc. Now I much more prefer to write stories where getting married and 'settling down' aren't the end goal. Because I'm a 35 year old nonbinary queer who doesn't want to ever be married again, nor am I ever having kids, and I want to write stuff that makes other people like me feel represented.

27. How long did it take to write [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love)]? Describe the process.

Fooled Around (Part 1) was a revamp of something I found in my archives that I'd written in 2015. It was basically a Jemily scene-for-scene remake of 'Imagine Me & You' (one of my fave films!). I had already written a few chapters for it but never finished it. I have no idea why the writing spirit returned to me after a seven year retirement, but when I found that in my archives I was struck with inspiration. While I started it by following some of my original ideas, the fic began taking on a life of it's own as soon as Tara was introduced around Ch 8. She was only meant to have a one-night stand with Emily, because this was still very much a Jemily end-game fic....but as soon as Tara/Emily happened, I scrapped my original plans. And that's how the polyamorous theme was born. Part one is 80,000 words... it was written in it's entirety in TEN days. Absolutely gobsmacked to this day. Part 1 originally had an epilogue that hinted at JJ/Emily/Tara forming a throuple (instead of Emily dating each woman individually), but before it was posted I said 'Well, now I want to know how that happened!' And Part 2 was born from that simple question: How did Tara and JJ end up dating each other as well? Part 2 is a bit longer (it was my longest fic to date before 'i can't be wrong', standing at 87,000 words. I wrote all of it in about two weeks. IDK what it is about this AU, but it sort of writes it's self. I let the characters steer the story and don't fret too much about planning, which makes it much easier to write. Currently, I already have 30k+ on Part 3 and it's still barely getting started. I'm really excited to see where this one goes!

Send Me [Fic Writer Asks]