#love to give this boy trauma that haunts him to this day~~ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obxsummer · 4 months ago

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selfish // ghost of you

navigation -- series masterlist

pairing: jj maybank x routledge!reader (she/her)

summary: covering the 18 months after el dorado, the pogues are home and are attempting to work through life back in kildare. you're dealing with your trauma setting in, and jj's usual reckless decisions are not helpful in the slightest. oh, and it's time to treasure hunt. again.

warnings: s4 spoilers! for episode one, violence, cursing, the usual obx. heavy mentions of trauma/depression/anxiety/ptsd.

-- So, you might be wondering. What happens after you find the lost city of El Dorado, get blown up, two of your parents die, and you’re stranded in South America with a sack full of gold? Let’s catch up.

First, you catch a ride back home, and you sleep for like three weeks. And then when you finally get back, you make peace with the fam… or not really. And after all the loose ends are tied up, the gold.

$1,172,549…Enough money to get you back on your feet and taken care of after what had been the most insane chase of your life. Pope was the mastermind that pieced together a plan and after a heated, overpriced auction, you stood in front of the old Maybank property that had been transformed into a dream. A surf shop, JJ’s new boat, a dock, and a house full of love and friendship.

Granted, things got iffy and your plethora of money dropped quickly (no thanks to JJ’s poor budgeting), and you were already tight in terms of keeping the business alive. So, you were laying low and helping where you could.

While you were glad to be home and no longer on the run, it didn’t keep away the haunting memories that followed. This was the first time since John B went missing that you’d been able to sit with your thoughts and try to process everything that happened. And it wasn’t easy.

“Hey there, sweet thing.”

You glanced up from your spot on the hammock, having been dozing in and out of sleep for a few minutes now. JJ stood in the doorway, his cutoff shirt framing his tanned skin nicely as you smiled up at him.

“Hi.”

He moved to meet you, lips pressing against yours in a warm, feverish kiss. The two of you had just spent the weekend away in Savannah, Georgia while the other Pogues placed the finishing touches on the property and store for opening. They were more than happy to send the two of you off for time away since you were both more touchy and lovey than you had been in a while. It was the vacation you needed and deserved.

“You coming to the race?” JJ’s voice was raspy and he sat on the netting next to you. It was the annual Kildare Enduro, one that JJ loved to get involved in and you loved to watch, but after his last biking accident, you were a bit nervous.

Your fingers messed with the hair behind his neck as you hummed in agreement, pulling him back down to your lips. “Not happy about you racing on that bike but yes, I’m coming.”

One of the few things you all allowed was for John B and JJ to pick out a new dirt bike, given the fact that you only had the Twinkie as reliable transportation. Now all three of the boys had their own, so as long as the van kept running, the six of you had a fair chance.

“You love me on the bike, baby.”

You chuckled at JJ’s words, giving him another kiss before rolling off the hammock to prevent yourself from falling asleep. “I love seeing you on the bike, J. Don’t love you racing on it.”

The beach was slammed with bikes, trucks, and tents for the racers and crowd of the day when you all arrived. You and Kie business yourself grabbing lemonade as Cleo and John B made sure JJ’s bike was ready to go.

“How was your trip?” Kie asked as she shoved her reusable straw into the lemonade cup after politely declining the plastic ones the cashier had offered.

You pushed your sunglasses up and sipped your drink as the two of you started walking back to where the Twinkie was parked. “So nice and peaceful. We didn’t do too much but it was a welcomed change in the chaos.”

Your eyes caught sight of Topper Thornton in his red racing gear, no doubt having a stare-off with your boyfriend. The thought of JJ out there racing against Kooks who clearly had a bone to pick with you guys didn’t help your anxiety.

Sarah thanked you as you handed her a lemonade before sitting in the back of the van which had been pulled up to the makeshift track so you all could watch. Being in this new rhythm had been so odd for you, especially after you started to make peace with the idea that you would never have this sort of “normal” again.

“Did you know?”

You looked up to see your brother, John B, staring back at you with a frustrated frown on his face. He had pulled on his racing jacket, which added to your confusion, but you could tell he was pissed at something. And just like that, things had gone to shit again.

You glanced at Sarah, who looked just as confused before shaking your head. “What are you talking about?”

John B sighed and stepped closer, crouching in front of you. His demeanor changed when you tensed, not knowing what was happening. “Did you know JJ bet the gold?”

“He what?” Your voice was deep and angry. JJ’s lack of self-control when it came to spending money had become severely frustrating for all of you, especially when he spent so much to reclaim his house when it wasn’t worth over half of it. “Please tell me you’re lying, JB.”

He didn’t answer and instead, got to his feet to grab the handles of his own bike that had been driven over.

“John B!” You set your lemonade down and quickly got to your feet as Kiara started cussing out JJ’s behavior, Sarah mumbling her agreement. “Are you serious?”

Your brother stopped short, his eyes searching yours as if he could say everything without speaking. He knew you were already anxious about JJ racing, and putting both of them in there was slowly becoming a fearful experience for you. It didn’t make you feel any better when Rafe settled into a spot next to Topper on his bike, revving his engine to make a scene.

“I’ve got him, okay? We’re gonna make it work.”

You didn’t say anything else, watching as he made his way to the starting line and leaving you between two heated girls who had their glares set on your boyfriend.

It had been hard for you to adjust after nearly dying multiple times while in South America. You’d had a lot of talking sessions amongst each other as a group to cope with it, making sure everyone aired all their emotions when they needed to. Even as though you were practically adults, life was still scary, and you’d had too many breakdowns to not acknowledge it.

JJ had taken most of the nightmares and sleepless nights you’d been cursed with, talking you through every bit of it until you would fall back asleep. John B did his best to pull you out of your head, clocking the look on your face when you’d get too deep and try to pull away. He meant it when he said he was working on being better for everyone, but especially you.

It was a process, but it was working. Slowly but surely, you were healing. It weighed on you mentally, but you were so appreciative to have the support you did.

So, watching the two boys you loved the most get into a race with people that hated you, was scary.

“They’ll be fine,” Sarah reassured as she watched her own boyfriend pull his helmet on before adjusting his bandana around his face. “Does JJ ever think before he does anything?”

“No, never,” You were quick to answer, crossing your arms over your chest. “Not even once.”

Kie wordlessly held her joint out to you, which you took with no objection. This was slowly becoming a horror movie as they took off from the starting line, the roar of the bikes overwhelming as sand flew up behind them. You kept your eyes on JJ and John B as long as you could until they disappeared over the hill and into the treeline.

“We’ve got some serious contact in the brush. Oh, and it sounds like Topper didn’t like Maybank crowding him there. Taught him a little lesson. Stuffed him like a turkey!”

You groaned, burying your face into your hands as the announcer covered the parts of the races you couldn’t see behind the trees. Not only was JJ losing, he was losing badly.

“It looks like they’re turning around the buoy. We’ve got Rafe Cameron still in front ahead of the group of riders. Cameron seems to have things well in hand. No mistakes and he should take home the Kildare Enduro. There’s Maybank bringing up the rear. Tough race for him and oh, he’s down again in the deep sand!”

Kiara groaned loudly this time. “Fucking shit, JJ!”

“Wait, what’s he doing?” You caught on to the fact that JJ wasn’t slowing down to make the left-handed turn that would put him en route with everyone else and instead had set his eyes straight ahead where the inlet met the track. “Are we seriously doing this again?”

Sarah grabbed your hand, squeezing tightly as JJ approached the jump at full speed. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t take your eyes off the scene as he threw himself and the bike in the air, managing to catch the ground just ahead of Rafe.

“Holy shit!” Cleo yelled as JJ pushed forward, everyone bursting into cheers as he held the lead. The remaining racers turned the corner and you caught sight of John B nearing Topper, the two pushing each other for the next spot.

Rafe managed to catch up to JJ quicker than you would’ve liked as they hit the final stretch. Things were looking up and you fought the glimmer of hope bubbling in your chest that this may all end up in your favor.

Until Rafe’s tire nudged JJ’s and sent both of them flying in the air.

“Jay!” You were moving before you realized, only to get tugged back by Sarah and Pope from interfering as more racers caught up. JJ was moving though, and that was the only part you really cared about.

John B came flying into view next, barely stopping in time to miss JJ’s crumbled form that was in the sand, which gave Topper the door to win. You couldn’t even care about that though, and as soon as the bikes cleared you were flying forward to your boys on the track. You made it to them as John B pulled JJ from the ground, your boyfriend shoving your brother angrily as he mouthed off.

“Hey!” You yelled and grabbed JJ’s arm to move him as he tossed his helmet aside angrily. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

JJ shook his head and continued separating himself from the group. “I don’t want to hear it right now.”

“Then you’re going to fucking hear it later, JJ!” You shouted after him, anger overtaking your anxiety as the adrenaline wore off. So much could’ve gone wrong and you could’ve lost more than the money. You glared at him, angry tears burning your eyes as he continued to walk away as if it didn’t matter.

“Hey, hey.” John B’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, tugging you back into his chest as he turned you away from the sight of your retreating boyfriend. “He’s fine, we’re fine. That’s all that matters.”

“Get used to it.” A raspy voice cut off your response to your brother as you shifted to see Rafe pulling himself off the ground next to you.

“What’d you say?” John B’s hold disappeared from around you before he moved forward to confront the older Kook with a shove. “Nah, man. What’d you say?”

Rafe hit John B back, both boys ready to start a fight instantly before Sarah jumped in between them. “Hey!”

“This is forever, alright?” Rafe screamed, backing up a few paces. His face was burning red with anger and you feared he would lash out right in front of you. “Y’all don’t get to win.”

You shook your head, placing your hand on John B’s shoulder to keep him back. “We never get to win, Rafe. In case you haven’t fucking noticed.”

“You could’ve killed each other!” Sarah yelled back at him as she continued to force her brother away from your group.

Rafe pulled himself out of her grip and shook his head. “Yeah, like you give a shit. You gonna kill me like you killed Dad?”

Your eyes widened as Sarah attempted to defend herself from the comment, but Rafe had already walked out of hearing range. Your friends crowded around the three of you, JJ still in his own head behind the crowd where you left him.

John B shook his head, running his hand through his hair. The last hour had really wiped him out, physically and emotionally. “We are so screwed.”

Kiara nodded in agreement, the displeasure evident on her face. “Yeah. We are.”

“Why are we screwed?”

The question coming from Pope made you sigh and dig your palms into your eyes in frustration. This was the worst outcome possible for something that was supposed to be fun.

“Just come on, let’s go.” John B led the group back to the van as Pope pushed for an answer that none of you were willing to give yet. Kie busied herself tossing the lawn chairs in the van, John B taking a seat on his bike and replacing his helmet as Sarah waited for him.

“Do you want me to get him?” Cleo asked you as she nudged her head in JJ’s direction. You followed her movement to see the boy cussing at himself, kicking sand, and throwing an angry fit.

It broke your heart, but you shook your head. “Leave him, he can come home once he’s calmed down.”

That was another thing that had taken a lot of time to figure out, was how to separate yourself from everyone’s emotions. You were such an empathetic person that you wanted to solve the problems and help everyone, but it had taken its own toll for so long that you needed to end the habit. JJ included. As much as you wanted to run over and hug him and tell him it was fine, it wasn’t.

It wasn’t until you guys were back home, John B and Sarah following the van on his bike, that Pope approached the subject again. “Someone better tell me what happened before I lose it.”

Shoving the passenger door open, you forced yourself out of the car, knowing the rage was coming quickly. “JJ bet the last of the gold on himself for the race.”

Silence echoed for a moment.

“What the fuck!”

The rampage of Pope Heyward was well deserved. The poor boy had done so much to try and extend the gold payout as best as possible and lost in every way. So when JJ resurfaced at Poguelandia 2.0, all hell broke loose.

“I said it. I said it once, and I said it again. I said don’t touch the last of our nugget. That was it. That was the last of our savings! Do you not care?”

JJ spun around in a fury, his body scratched and dirty with sand from the crash. “Pope, you saw what happened, man! He stole it, okay? He cheated and he stole it. That’s not my fault, Pope.”

“Do you know how selfish you sound?”

JJ laughed, which just pissed everyone off further. “I sound selfish? I was trying to help us.”

“You helped us, you just cost us everything. Thank you!”

You curled into the sleeves of your sweater as you watched your boyfriend pace. How he thought none of this was his fault was crazy. “Jayj, why are you making it sound like you had nothing to do with it?”

He looked at you and all the anger disappeared from his face, leaving the vulnerable boy you loved so much with tears in his eyes. “Okay, babe. Babe. You know me. Okay? I was gonna bet it all. That’s who I am.”

Kiara scoffed from next to you, “You should’ve talked to us first! It was too risky this time.”

“And what were you doing?” Pope’s anger turned toward John B, who instantly went wide eye at the attack. “You knew he had it and you just let him race?”

“He told me last minute, alright?” Your brother attempted to defend himself but it fell on silent ears.

“John B, look, man. You were supposed to cover-!”

“I did cover!”

The arguing escalated loudly between all three boys until you covered your hands over your ears to block it out. You’d never faired well with yelling since everything happened with Rafe, and hearing it from the people you loved made it worse even if it wasn’t directed at you.

Cleo took one look at you and shut it down. “Hey, enough!” Her voice echoed around the space, effectively chopping the harsh words that were being through. “How bad is it, Pope?”

“How bad is it?” Pope repeated the question as he faced her. “We have a $13,000 property tax payment due in seven days. And we have zero working capital. There is nothing. And you took the last of our savings, so thank you.”

Silence followed the heaviness of his voice before he left you all outside. You winced at the severity of JJ’s actions, knowing these consequences affected all of you and it wasn’t like the hot tub episode at the Chateau where it was a rough purchase.

JJ called your name, breaking you from your thoughts as you looked up at him. His eyes were still red and clouded with tears. “Baby…”

“I’m going to go for a little bit. I’ll be back before dark.” You didn’t leave room for argument, instead taking off in the direction of the dock where the HMS Pogue was.

You weren’t trying to give anyone the cold shoulder, but you promised yourself you would try to be better about handling your emotions on your own. You needed to process and take care of yourself alone sometimes.

“Hey,” Pope’s voice was soft as you caught sight of him in the boat, looking out over the water. Seems the two of you had the same idea to come out here. He whispered your name when you didn’t answer or say anything.

You shrugged, climbing in to sit near him as you pulled your sleeves over your hands. “I’m trying.”

“You’re okay.” Pope’s affirmation sent you into tears. Your knees pulled to your chest as you let out a shaky breath. He didn’t hesitate to wrap you into a hug, letting you cry softly.

“I’m trying really hard,” You breathed out, hating how weak your voice came out. “It’s like the second a voice raises I shut down and-and-”

Pope held you tightly against him, allowing you to have time to get your emotions out. These panic episodes happened more often than you’d like since you had all gotten home an you felt so embarrassed for your friends to deal with them.

“Just breathe, I’ve got you. I promise.”

Pope had become an anchor for you since the moment that was shared on the plane to Orinocco. When it had been revealed that you felt left behind after John B disappeared, he took it personally to help where and when he could. You had always been like a sibling to him and it broke his heart to know you were struggling so much.

The two of you sat there for a few until you caught your breath and recentered. The air was brisk as you drove the HMS through the marsh, taking in the sunset as you did. As much as you loved JJ, you were disappointed he had made this decision on his own. He was trying to help, he always was, but sometimes it just didn’t go that way.

“I’m sorry about JJ,” You said as Pope slowed down for the final stretch before the dock. “I know he means well, but it doesn’t always turn out that way.”

Pope shook his head softly. “I know he does too, but his impulse will be the death of him.”

Unfortunately, you didn’t disagree.

The house was relatively quiet as you walked in, quietly thanking Pope before making your way up to your shared bedroom with JJ. You could hear the shower running, the light poking from under the door along with soft music that told you that Sarah was likely inside. The bedroom door creeked quietly as you opened it. JJ’s figure was sitting in your floating egg chair, the one thing you’d asked for at the thrift shop.

“Hi,” You greeted quietly. He immediately looked up, relief flooding his body at the sight of you as he got to his feet.

“I’m so sorry, I-”

You held your hand up, intercepting whatever he was going to say. “Jayj, I know you are. And I love you, but I really don’t want to talk about this right now. Okay?”

His hope deflated but he nodded regardless. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Um, Kie made salad. There’s leftovers in the fridge. I can… I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

You shook your head softly, giving him a small smile before wrapping your arms around his neck gently. “After today, there’s nothing more I want than to hold you and make sure you’re okay. So no, you’re sleeping here. Now come on, macho. Let’s clean up those cuts and get your ass to bed.”

And then our luck turned, and the Outer Banks Sentinel wrote about us and our journey. They finally excavated the cave we blew up and suddenly, we’re heroes. It’s pretty weird, to be honest. After the ceremony, this old guy named Wes Genrette came up to us with a request. He invited us to his private estate to discuss his proposition. So, here we are. Eighteen months after finding El Dorado, on our way to Goat Island. Back in the G game, for what we hoped was the last time.

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a/n: and we're back!!! send ideas, send requests, and let the angst begin !!!!

#goy series #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj x reader #john b routledge #john b outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks jj #jj maybank x routledge!reader #ghost of you

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 1 year ago

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First Time (18+)

Bayverse!Donatello x reader

A/N: Damn, I think this is my longest one ever. Big time Donnie love!💜

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Donatello is more than a little nervous about the thought of having sex with you, not trusting his own abilities, but with some reassurance and guidance from you, he rises to the occasion.

Warnings: A more angsty build up that I had planned, unprotected sex, Donnie having his first time with you💜

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To say that Donatello was an amazing boyfriend, wasn’t enough to do him justice. He was fantastic! The sweetest and most genuine guy you had ever met. He was attentive and treated you well. Sure, he might be a mutant turtle that lived in the sewer, yet he was the best boyfriend you had ever had. Whether that spoke of your former poor taste in guys, or just the general low bar for human men you did not know. But you knew for a fact that Donatello was one of the best things that had ever happened in your life.

Donatello would say the exact same thing about you. You were not just the best thing that had ever happened to him, but a dream come true. Before meeting you, he had never actually believed that he would get to experience something so good. Just as he had accepted his fate as a lonely mutant turtle that would spend his days alone in hiding with his brothers, you came along and changed his life for good.

The friendship the two of you shared was just what you needed. You may not fully understand everything Donnie had going on inside his lab, but you listened nonetheless, finally giving a much needed ear to his thoughts and inventions. He in turn provided you with a safe space to go to, whenever your life became a little too much.

During those years of friendship you and Donnie grew close in ways none of you had experienced before. Not even his brothers could read him as well as you did, and you in turn had never thought that anyone would understand you as well as Donnie did. So therefore it was only expected that stronger feelings would blossom.

When you and Donnie started dating, it felt natural. Just like your first kiss. It just came naturally to the two of you. No grad gestures and no confusion. Both you and Donnie knew what it meant, and you were just happy to be with someone that understood you so well.

But if there was one thing that didn’t come as naturally to you and Donnie, it was sex. Actually, it didn’t come naturally to Donnie. You didn’t blame him. The poor guy had lived most of his life, convincing himself that sex would never be something he would get to experience. So when you and Donnie started dating and kissing, and the first thought of sex came up, Donnie started overthinking. You were a human that had had sexual experiences with other humans before, and he was a mutant turtle who had his hand as the closest thing to a former sexual partner.

It didn’t mean that Donatello didn’t want sex, because oh boy, did he want to! He was just nervous. Really nervous. It was almost nerve racking to believe that he could actually have sex, let alone with someone as beautiful as you. And you understood. You really did. You took the time to sit with him and talk it through, making sure he felt heard and comfortable, especially talking about a subject like that. What did he feel? What did he fear? What was he excited about?

Other than the general confusion and trauma that came from accepting your fate of loneliness, you learned that Donatello feared not the action of sex itself, but how he would act. More specifically, he was nervous and overthinking, because he did not know what to do. Where should he put his hands? What was he supposed to say? And the thought that haunted him the most; if he didn’t do good, would you leave him? All very valid fears for a mutant turtle, who did not even dare to dream of being with a human.

You took Donnie’s hands in yours and told him it was okay. He was allowed to be nervous and overthink, and he was allowed to not know what to do. You told him that you loved him, and you wouldn’t leave him if he didn’t make you feel good the first time, nor the time after that. Humans too would be nervous before their first time, and it was very normal not to be satisfied the first time.

And after that conversation, you and Donnie slowly started preparing for your first time together. With Donnie being a totally different species than you, he started preparing you for what you could expect. He told you where his cloaca was located and how it worked, along with other parts of the turtle anatomy you may or may not have known already. You in turn did the same. You told him where humans liked to be touched and answered his questions about human anatomy. And it calmed Donnie down. It calmed him down enough, to the point he dared to ask if he could touch your breast.

The make out session that came from that, was one unlike any you ever had had with Donatello. With his hands groping your breast, you were at a shock of naturally good your sweet tech boyfriend was at this. You had expected him to be more unsure, but you soon learned that when he had the confidence he could do anything. Making you moan against his lips while he played with your nipples, this guy did not know what talent he possessed.

This unlocked a new area of your relationship, that you and Donatello carefully explored. Make out sessions became more common, with hands exploring and building up the courage, going a little further each time, until one night Donnie told you he wanted to try.

“Are you sure?”, you asked. You were sitting in his room, you in his lap with your arms around his neck, still breathing heavily after the heated kiss the two of you had just shared. One of his hands was in the back of your neck, playing with your hair, while the other rested on your ass, squishing you through your pants.

“I’m sure”, Donnie answered, watching you through hooded eyes. The hand on the back of your neck crept to the side of your face, letting Donnie’s thumb glide across the corner of your mouth. “I really want to try”.

You nodded your head, biting your lip with a smile, before letting Donnie close the space between you once more. Your lips dancing together as your tongues slowly found each other, letting a small moan escape you, as you felt the vibrating churr being in Donnie’s chest. You had heard that sound quite a few times now, and each time you loved it more and more.

Your hands moved from Donnie’s neck, and down to the top of his plastron, enjoying the feeling of his vibrating chest through your fingers. You moved your lips to his chin, making your to his neck, feeling the hand on your ass pull you closer. Donnie’s breathing was heavy, his chest moving as he felt you work your lips around his neck.

Donnie’s hands found your waist, dipping under your shirt to feel the warmth of your smooth skin against his rough palms. You took this as a sign, removing your lips from Donnie’s neck to take off your shirt. This made Donnie move his hands to your breast, palming them through your bra as you reached back to unhook it. The breathy curse that left Donnie’s mouth once your bra was off, went straight to your core, making you clench around empty air. And Donnie could smell it. The scent of your arousal was strong, making him slightly dizzy.

Donnie nuzzled his head against your neck, pressing kisses against your skin like you had done to him, enjoying every sound that left your mouth and the feeling of your hands on his shoulders. His hands moved from your breast to your pants, where he tried to undo them, only to grow frustrated at the small buttons in his big fingers.

“Want me to take them off?”, you asked, gliding a hand up his neck.

“Please”, Donnie answered, bringing your hips close to him once more.

Donatello watched, with his head resting on your shoulder, through the valley between your breasts, as you undid your pants. Once you got them past your waits he helped you, sliding them off of your legs before throwing them somewhere in his room, leaving you in nothing but underwear on his lap.

“Shit”, he moaned, his heart raising once more as yet another wave of your arousal hit his nose, stronger than before. He hooked his thumbs into the straps of your underwear, his eyes finding yours to ask for permission. Breathless you nodded, lifting your hips to make it easy for him to pull your damp underwear down your legs.

The sight of you naked on Donnie’s lap was enough to make him moan. Your cheeks were already getting pink, and your pupils were just as blown out as his. The best way Donatello could describe the sight in front of him was; hot. So fucking hot.

He kneeled your hips, biting his lips before he asked; “Can I… Will you show me… Will you let me finger you?”

Once again, Donnie’s words went straight between your legs. The way he looked at you and the way he spoke. Needy and so ready to try. You loved every second of it.

“Of course you can”, you answered him, before bringing him in for another needy kiss. You took one of his hands in yours, guiding it down between your legs, helping one of his fingers glide through your folds, letting him feel the wetness that had built up. Donnie shivered, letting a whimper against your lips. You couldn’t help but chuckle, pulling from his lips, finding his reaction adorable.

“You feel that?”, you asked him, letting his finger glide through once more. Donnie nodded, letting out a small shuttering yes. “That’s all because of you, Donnie”. Your boyfriend cursed once more, his face showing frustration and absolute bliss.

You moved his thumb to your clit, guiding him on how to circle his finger around your small bundle of nerves.

“Like this?”, Donnie asked, watching your facial expression as he worked his fingers on you.

“Yes”, you breathed out, arching your back enjoying the feeling of his thick thumb on you. “Just like that, Donnie”.

Donatello bite his lip, watching your face closely, while remembering the things you had told him about the human body. How humans liked to be touched. How you liked to be touched. And with that thought in mind he wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you close and still, while his index finger glided through your folds once more, before finding your entrance. He slowly pushed his finger in, sighing in delight at how tight you felt around his finger. You moaned, leaning your head back, happy that Donnie had wrapped his hand around to stabilize you.

“Fuck, Donnie”, you moaned, feeling how his finger went further in.

“Is it good?”, he asked, brows knotting together, biting his lips as he felt the familiar feeling from his cloaca, threatening to let dick drop.

“Yes, Donnie”, you moaned, your legs shaking against his. “Please, move them Donnie. Like this”. You held up your hand, showing your boyfriend how to move his fingers inside you. Donnie nodded, doing just as you showed him, moving his fingers in and out of you while his thumb rolled against your clit. You moaned, dropping your head against Donnie’s shoulder. He moved his fingers faster, feeling you move and shake against him, every moan from your mouth sounding like sweet music in his ears. He continued like this, feeling you tighten around his finger, your climax inching closer and closer until you came around his fingers with a loud moan.

When Donnie removed his fingers from your used cunt, he could not resist the urge to bring them to his mouth, sucking them off in front of you. The look in your eyes and the way you smelled told him everything he needed to know. You enjoyed it. All of it. He brought your lips back to his, your tongues finding each other. You moaned at the slight taste of you in his mouth.

Donnie pulled from the kiss, resting his forehead against yours, listening to your heavy breathing, feeling it against his face. “Can I do it?”

“Do what, Donnie?”, you asked, your hands smoothing over his shoulders and biceps.

“Can I fuck you?”

You nodded, too stunned to speak. Once again, you had not expected Donatello to be so straight forward, having thought he would be way more shy.

Donnie took your lips in for another kiss while he slowly laid you down on your back. Once your back was flat against the mattress, he started moving his clothed crotch against you, moaning against your lips as he felt himself getting closer to his drop. You whimpered against his lip, almost begging him to take his pants off. Finally he sat up and undid his pants in full view of you. He pulled his pants off along with his boxers, before climbing back on top of you, feeling your legs close around him the best they could, bringing his cloaca to meet your wet center.

“Can I drop into you?”, Donnie asked, his lips ligering against yours, his hands moving from your hips, up your sides to your shoulder, bringing you closer to him.

“Yes, Donnie”, you moaned, buckling your hips against his, causing him to moan, feeling himself tipping on the edge before finally dropping down in front of your entrance. To his surprise, you were the one to move your hand down between the two of you, taking his cock in your hand moving it to your opening before pushing it in closely.

Donatello moaned, his head falling down beside yours, your cunt hugging him tightly as he sunk further in. You kissed the side of his face, whispering sweet nothing as he sunk in as far as he could. He stayed there for a moment, letting you and himself adjust to the feeling of him inside of you. You were a tight fit for him, but he couldn’t deny it felt good.

“Donnie, please move”, you moaned, moving your hips under him. Donnie wrapped an arm under your shoulder so he could bring you even closer to you, resting his forehead against yours once more as he slowly began to move, moaning and cursing in delight over the feeling.

His thrusts started out slow and soft, until you told him it was okay to go harder and faster, to which Donnie obliged. He cursed, one of his hands grabbing on to the bedding beside your head, enjoying this knew feeling around his cock.

“Fuck”, he breathed into your ear, causing tingles to erupt in your stomach. “It feels good, (Y/N). Fucking good”.

Your hand found his face, stroking his cheek making him look you in the eye. The sigh was enough to make both of you shiver.

“Wanna go faster?”, you asked him. Donnie nodded, his lips slightly agasp. “Go as fast as you want to. Fuck me as fast as you want, Donnie”.

And that was all your boyfriend needed. Every trace of nervousness Donnie had showed you during your first conversation about sex disappeared, leaving behind what you could only describe as a feast for the eyes. Donnie was concentrated, his brows frowning, his pupils wide as his muscles flexed before he let loose against you. You gasped and moaned loud, grabbing onto Donnie’s shoulders as he thrusted faster and harder into you. He was rougher than you had thought he would be, but you found it to be a pleasant surprise.

But then Donnie did something you never saw coming for his first time. He took one of your legs, hooking it over his arm before thrust into you even deeper than before. This new angle caused you to arch your back in ecstasy, as he continuously hit the sweet spot inside of you. It didn’t take long like this, before you felt that familiar feeling in your stomach as you clung closer around Donnie.

“Donnie!”, you moaned out, your pitch higher than he ever had heard it before, making him growl in delight. “Donnie, I’m close!”

Donnie did not answer you. Instead he dipped his head down to your neck, where he started nipping at your skin, his hips working against you like a piston. He wanted you to cum around him, washing away every fear he ever had about not making you feel good. And you knew. You knew your boyfriend, and you knew what he was thinking. And as he started groaning and biting your earlobe, you couldn’t hold back anymore, almost screaming his name as you came for him once more.

Donnie moved both hands down to your hips, holding you still as he started chasing his own high, helping you ride out your own in the meantime. As he moaned louder and louder as he got close, his thrust became more and more erratic. Finally he came, pushing himself all the way into you as he shot out his white ropes, letting out a moan better than porn star you ever heard.

Once down from his high, Donnie pulled out of you, before slumping down next to you, sweaty and out of breath, his dick still out in the open.

He looked at you, his eyes tired yet full of love, making you feel warm in so many ways. “Was it good?”

“Are you crazy?”, you asked, smiling brighter than any stare Donnie had seen. “It was amazing, Donnie!”

Donnie chuckled, wrapping an arm around you to pull you close against his plastron, giving you a kiss before resting his forehead against yours once more, a smirk spreading on his pretty lips. “Does that mean you’re up for another around after a quick nap?”

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princessbrunette · 6 months ago

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can’t stop thinking about all the little ways apocalypse!johnb displays casual dominance.

it’s the little things, like the hand he always seems to have on the back of your neck. it’s gentle most times, standing around the camp together with the warm caress of his palm cupping the tepid skin there, rubbing a thumb along the bottom of your scalp whilst he listens to pope talk about the control tower updates. you like it, it makes you feel held without making a big scene of things. love and pda was a touchy subject now that so many people had lost someone, or were just suffering from loneliness so you didn’t wanna rub it in everyone’s faces that you’d found eachother. the gentle touch keeps you near to him, the way he likes it.

john b just does things for you to help get you ready and speed the day along. something you notice, is the way he’ll lay out an outfit for you on a cold winter morning as you stand there in pyjamas all puffy and half awake, watching in silence as you adapt to being conscious. you’re sure it’s roughly 6AM — but he’s moving around quickly throwing your things together so he can take you out into the woods within the fences and reach you how to shoot. you can tell the visage of sarah’s passing still haunts him, which is why he gets these random trauma fuelled bouts of sudden desperation to teach you to protect yourself, just incase. you pout grumpily because when it was john b who was dressing you, he would never let you dress cute during the literal end of the world. you’d mutter out something about it ‘stifling your creativity’ which he’d ignore as he starts to pull your pyjamas off to help you change. he’d pile warm layers on warm layers that would keep you comfortable in the morning chill which was honestly sweet — given that he was dressing you like a little teddy bear in those fuzzy sweaters, thick jeans and boots that you’d replaced the laces with ribbons. you didn’t really mind, not at all.

aside from this, he doesn’t let you come anywhere that he deems too dangerous — meaning it was rare you ever got to leave the gates to kitty hawk — no matter how often you whined about it. “look, okay — the answer is no. you’re not coming. no way.” he was hard on you because he cares, and felt it was his duty to keep you safe.

when he eventually lets you out with him he’s practically got you on a leash, gripping you by the shoulders and lecturing you if you take a step too far. he mellows out if it really does feel safe, only pulling you back towards him to bring his water bottle to your mouth, mopping you up when some dribbles out. “need to stay hydrated, okay — can’t afford to have you passing out.”

when you stop listening or go into your occasional daydream, john b isn’t afraid to check you. especially if it was important. you’d zoned out while jj stands before the entire camp, briefing all the campers you’d collected on some new weapons that had arrived from a successful supply hunt. he was the weapons master after all, so he really knew his stuff. you knew john b was stood at your side with that same tense look, brow creased and arms folded — but when you begin staring off at the treeline his attention turns to you, unfolding his arms to lightly grip your chin to point it back to the front. “listen up. this is no joke.” he’d warn.

overall, he’s mega patient with you. as you might imagine, you’re always thrilled to see him when he comes home from a long supply hunt or anywhere really that he had to travel to, which sometimes can take up to a week. john b, being the guy he is always has some kind of news to tell the group — so usually he barrels back through the doors immediately talking at everyone with this new information. this of course doesn’t stop you from running to his side and throwing your arms around him. the routledge boys flow state remains unbroken, continuing to ramble at the group as his hand rubs your lower back, letting you cuddle into his side. you knew he’d give you his full attention later on, laying with you quietly talking on the hammocks outside your shared cabin — but for now you didn’t mind. sometimes the casual nonchalance turned you on.

his dominance can shine through in real gentle ways sometimes — your boyfriend squatting down infront of you when you’re sat on the floor of your shared little cabin, cleaning his weapons for him wearing your dirty little white nightgown that you’d scouted on one of your few supply runs. his knees click when they bend and he’s a little tired looking but he smiles big anyway when he brings his backpack to his front, rifling through it until he pulls out a new girly trinket he’d found for you on a trip. you’re unsure as to whether or not he’s talking so gently because he’s exhausted — or because he’s just so sweet on you but he holds your gift up and barely raises his volume to say “hey, got you something. do you like it sweetheart? found it just for you ‘cause you’d been so good this week bubba.”

he often comforts you when you get upset over him returning home with a dead rabbit slung over his shoulders. “okay, oh god — you were not meant to see that.” he deadpans when you catch him in the act — but soon he’s got you scooped up on his lap (with the rabbit cooking outside over a fire) as he rocks you back and forth. “look, we have to eat sweetheart. i swear i didn’t wanna kill that bunny but we don’t have much choice right now. you can close your eyes the whole time. i’m gonna feed it to you. okay?”

of course, some dominance is just far from casual — like when he’d return from a pharmacy run during the week with his pockets stuffed with condoms so he can put your legs over his shoulders and stuff your aching cunt. “i know baby, i know it’s— it’s definitely been a while. haven’t been able to find protection i can trust literally anywhere but i’ve got heaps now, so i can fuck that sweet little pussy the way you want. i know you missed it sweet girl, i know.”

#apocalypse!au #apocalypse!johnb #john b prompt

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rafeandonlyrafe · 10 months ago

Text

obsessive love

words: 2.1k

warnings: 18+ only!!!, smut!!!, MURDER!!!, SERIAL KILLER!RAFE, PSYCHO!RAFE but sweet with reader, best friends to lover, DESCRIPTIONS OF BLOOD AND STABBING, physical violence, psycho!reader as well!, romanticization/sexualization of murder?, mentions of stalking (in the past), road head, blowjob, p in v sex, semi public sex, rafe beating up your dates tehe, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT (advisement to take caution and heed warnings! ty)

rafe is only half paying attention as the movie plays out on the screen. he’s far more focused on the way you’re tucked into him, squealing every time a jumpscare happens and ducking your head into his chest with a wide smile on your face.

it’s not unusual for you to get touchy with him, to cuddle in bed after a day together or hold hands when in a crowd. but lately rafe has found it difficult to not take things further. he has loved you since first grade. not had a crush on like some people like to say. no, rafe only knows deep, obsessive love for you.

it’s why you barely dated anyone high school, rafe was always there to beat your date up and make sure they didn’t reveal it was him. afterall, you’re his best friend. he just wants you to be happy. happy and with him. no one else deserves you, or can protect you the way he can, go to the extreme lengths rafe will.

rafe realized he was in deep shit when he was stalking one of your dates that he wasn’t able to get to. he dropped you off on your front porch and had the audacity to kiss you. rafe exploded the second you were inside. you found your date a bleeding and bruised pulp still on your doorstep the next morning.

“its not even that scary.” rafe chuckles, teasing you as you grip onto his forearm.

“yes it is!” you love getting scared. it’s what you often say is your worst feature. you may scream your head off at horror movies, but you’ll still drag rafe along to haunted houses come halloween and stay up late binging your favorite thrillers with a smile on your face despite the chills down your spine.

rafe forces himself to pay attention to the last couple minutes of the movie. its entertaining enough to distract him from wanting to pull you closer to him, to never let you go, to always keep you by his side where you're safe and happy.

an idea forms in rafes head as he watches the two characters finally kill the serial killer that had murdered all of their friends and tried to go after them. he watches the way they embrace, relief on their faces as they kiss, bonded together forever from the shared trauma.

rafe smiles as you ask him if he’s up for another movie, purposely navigating you to one involving an in love couple and people getting mysteriously murdered in their small town. rafe knows what he’s going to do to keep you close, to play into your fear and need for him.

“holy shit!” you grab the remote, unmuting the tv. you would apologize for using the language in front of wheezie, but she has just a bad of mouth as you do, and very little supervision now that ward is dead and rose fled with what little money she had left.

you both watch the news report on the edge of your seat, the anchor giving details on the recent murder in kildare. it’s a boy you went to school with, but haven’t spoken to since graduation. when the anchor begins to go over details of the murder, you click the tv off.

“hey!” wheezie argues, scrunching her brow as she looks at you, but you just shake your head. “you don’t need to be watching that kind of stuff, wheeze.”

you stand up to find rafe, eyes glancing around nervously, as if whoever murdered the boy could be lurking inside tanneyhill. you don’t realize that the murderer is just the man you want to see.

“rafe, oh my god!” you cry out when you round the corner to find him walking down the hallway. you fling your arms around his shoulders. he’s shocked for only a second before pulling you in, holding you by your waist as the words spill from your mouth, recounting the news to him.

“oh, that’s terrible.” he frowns, hand gliding up and down your back. “you better stay the night tonight, yeah?” he offers. it’s hours away from dark, but you certainly don’t want to venture home after hearing the news.

“yeah, if you don’t mind.” you feel your cheeks blush slightly, knowing you’ll end up sharing a bed with rafe as always.

“i never mind.” he smiles at you.

you wrap your arms around yourself as you watch the news report. the third murder in just under a month just took place last night. you lean against rafe, who presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“i can’t believe we knew all three people killed.” they weren’t particular gruesome deaths, most just a couple stabs with a sharp knife and leaving them to bleed out, there was no passion in the murder itself, no torturing or postmortem injuries.

“i know, it’s scary.” rafe is glad you can’t see the smile on his face. you already spent most nights anyways, but now you’re over more and more, only feeling safe when you have rafes arms around you. it makes it a little hard for him to slip away, but he finds the time.

“and not the fun kind of scary.” you pout. “although…” you trail off, almost like you didn’t mean to say it.

“although what?” rafe questions.

you sit up a little straighter, wiping your hands on your pants. “it’s a little exciting, isn’t it?” you admit. “that makes me sick, doesn’t it?”

rafe shakes his head, pulling away slightly to see your big innocent eyes blinking up at him as you continue to explain. “obviously it’s terrible these people are dead but… god, it’s exhilarating!” your words switch to rambling as you finally get your feelings out. “like the thrill of knowing there’s someone out there killing people, it just makes me feel so alive! as long as i don’t get killed or anyone close to me-”

“i won’t kill you.” rafe says the words to stop your rambling, not even realizing his slip up. “i won’t let you get killed.” he quickly corrects himself.

“i know.” you look rafe up and down. he can tell when your face shifts into one of sheer concentration, mind slowly piecing the puzzle together. rafe needs to do something now before it all comes together.

he could scream or yell for wheezie or… rafe leans in and presses his lips against yours, mouths molding together. you hesitate for a moment before kissing back, much to rafes relief.

“i won’t let you get killed because i love you.” rafe says, hand cupping your jaw to bring you in for another kiss.

“oh, rafe.” you coo, smooching all across his face before landing on his lips again. “i love you too!”

it’s harder now that you’re moved in. you went from spending most nights in rafes bed to making tanneyhill your home as well, cuddling and kissing every night until you’re off to sleep.

he doesn’t need to kill as much now anyways, besides he’s got most of the boys from high school who looked at you a little too hard in your shorts for gym class, or said lude things about you when you weren’t around.

you’re well and truly his, but rafe can’t help himself. he loves the way you hide in his arms when a murder happens, how you kiss him deeply and tell him you love him so much, how you’re so glad that something good came out of something terrible and that you’re together now.

rafe waits until you’re fast asleep before slipping his arm out from under you. he grabs the knife from the back of his closet before heading out. he just needs someone. to stab and maim someone. it’s been months since the serial killers last appearance, and people are starting to relax again, including you, even asking if rafe minded if you went out with your girlfriends without him.

rafe does what he needs to do. he doesn’t enjoy the act itself, but he doesn’t dislike the feeling after either. he walks back into the house, knife bloody but wiped off on the victims own clothes as to not drip all over the house as he sneaks in.

his footsteps pause when he sees you standing there, robe wrapped around your shoulders. he knows you see it. he knows you know everything.

“baby, please don’t leave me i-”

“can i come with you next time?”

“what?” your question shocks rafe, his voice raising before glancing up the stairs to make sure he didn’t wake wheezie.

“next time you kill someone. will you take me with you?” you ask, glancing at the knife, hating the rush you feel over your whole body when seeing it. it’s the last confirmation you needed for what you have been suspecting.

“i-baby, i don’t need to kill anymore. i’ll stop, it was just-”

“no.” you shake your head. “rafe, i don’t care. you can keep doing it. it’s… exciting.” you’re not ashamed this time when admitting it. you used to be worried about the murders but now you know there’s truly no need. rafe would never hurt you.

“okay.” he swallows, stepping closer, glad that you don’t turn away as you accept a kiss pressed to your lips. “okay, i’ll bring you next time.”

“shit, that was exciting!” you squeal, smiling as you turn to rafe. “seeing the life drain out of his eyes? and god, you were so hot when you stabbed him!”

“baby, you sound crazy.” rafe chuckles, easily gliding the car around the turns of the backroads, heading back towards home.

“rafe, you are a literal serial killer, i don’t think you should lecture me on sounding crazy.” you giggle, not even tired despite the late hour from all the adrenaline. “and god, you looked so hot stabbing that guy.”

you reach over and run your fingers down his forearm, remembering the way his muscles bulged and stretch when swinging the knife. your hand moves from rubbing his arm to his thigh, only pretending that your movements are innocent for a minute before you slide your hand up to his crotch, rubbing at his length, feeling it harden in his pants.

“baby-” rafe groans, eyes flicking between you, your hand, and the road in front of him illuminated by his headlights.

“just keep driving, it's okay.” you unbuckle so you can lean across the center console, lips pressing against his neck, tongue darting out to taste his skin.

you tug at the front of his sweatpants, rafe lifting his hips to assist you as the car engine roars. you grip his cock, teeth running over his jaw teasingly, never biting down as you stroke him eagerly, wanting to thank him for continuing his killing spree, for starting it for you and allowing you to take part.

“let me suck you off.” you gather your hair to one side, fucking your head until you're bent sideways. you hold rafes cock with one hand at his base while your lips sink down around the head, moaning at the familiar taste on your lips.

“fuck.” rafe swerves slightly, glad there's no one else on the road as you suck and lick at him, not caring that you're dripping spit down your chin from your movements.

“lemme pull over baby.” rafe says. he knows how much you like the excitement, the rare possibility someone could drive by, but he needs you hop0ing on his dick.

“fiiiine.” you say dramatically, going right back to sucking him off until rafe pulls on a dirt road. you work your shorts and panties off so the second the car is shifted into park, you swing your legs over to straddle rafe.

“shit, you're so wet.” rafe groans as you rub his cock through your folds.

“i told you.” you smirk at rafe. “you looked so hot killing that guy.”

you sink down before rafe can reply.

the murders shift from rafe doing them in secret to make you rely on him, to force you closer, to something you do together, you often doing the planning while rafe finishes the task with violence.

you barely get back to the car before you jump on him, needing to feel his fingertips digging into your hips while he fucks ever, even if there are still specks of blood on him.

you know you won't get caught. no one would expect the former troubled teen turned happily domesticated man, raising his little sister after his father's death with his faithful girlfriend, to be the one behind the violence.

you see no reason to stop as rafe wipes his knife clean for what feels like the hundredth time.

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cammys-imagines24 · 2 years ago

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• Touch and Kaz Brekker •

You knew what you signed up for when you fell in love with the bastard of the barrel. Touch was never going to come easy.

There are times where the mere thought of touch causes bile to rise up in Kaz's throat and makes him recede into himself. Turning into no more than a phantom to you, haunted by his past.

And then there are times where Kaz takes to touch with a curiosity that can only come from a boy in love. Where he yearns to experience the intimacies that come when two people are joined.

Such as when a breeze travels through one of the Slat's windows and inadvertently causes strands of hair to fall onto your forehead.

Kaz is caught off guard, wishing more than anything that he could tuck those stray strands behind your ear.

Or when he notices you dressed for the evening, perhaps in a dress. Your bare shoulders glinting in the candlelight.

Kaz practically aches to kiss your aflame skin.

Such as one eases into a tub filled with steaming water, it took caution and time to get Dirtyhands used to the concept of touch. To realize his fantasies could slowly but surely become a reality with you and you alone.

First, it started with you wearing one of his own gloves. The fabric like a second skin to him by now. So, when your gloved hand made contact with his chest, to feel his heartbeat, it was bearable.

You were more than happy to go at his speed, to cherish any crumbs of intimacy he was able to maintain.

And with his own gloves you could touch parts of his body.

But eventually Kaz wanted more. Needed more.

So, one day the gloves came off.

You had never seen Kaz's bare hands so clearly before. Pale and thin. Magician's fingers. And they were cold to the touch when he placed his hand in yours.

The skin to skin contact was enough to make Kaz feel the dark waters at his feet, ready to pull him under but he fought it. He fought it for you and because honestly, his desire was greater than his fear.

He held your hands with reverence, memorizing every line upon your palms until he worked his way upwards.

His fingers, light as air, ghosting over your collarbones, your jaw, the cupid's bow of your lips...

Oh, Kaz wanted to drown but he also wanted to continue, to push himself. He concentrated on how warm your skin felt.

Not cold or clammy like the bloated corpses he remembered. You were soft, your heartbeat thumping beneath his fingertips. So alive.

Kaz vowed to himself that he would get better for you. Brick by brick. So one day he could give you more than puny crumbs.

He wanted to kiss you. To feel you more than just a few measly caresses.

He would become a man for you. Not just a boy plagued by trauma. Hell, eventually Kaz would love nothing more than to pick you up in his arms and sweep you off your feet.

But, baby steps. One day at a time. Healing required patience and you had ample enough to give.

Though the first time Kaz pulled you in for a kiss you felt like your heart might stop.

The brush of his lips against yours gentle yet dripping with years of constrained passion.

The tide lapped at Kaz's feet, of course, yet the pull of you was a light amidst the dark sea in his mind.

Kaz thought, if he should die at this moment, he would die happy.

Your mouth against his burned him in the most blissful way and he knew he was instantly addicted.

He would fight any nightmare, he would wade against the coldest of water, if it meant one more kiss, one more touch from you.

And Kaz was nothing if not persistent in getting what he wanted.

So, he would conquer his fears for you. His love.

#six of crows #six of crows kaz #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker imagines #kaz brekker headcanon #kaz brekker headcanons #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #six of crows headcanons #soc x reader #soc fanfic

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alex-thegiraffeboyy · 3 months ago

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Chapter 5: A Dreamer and a Haunted person

Bewitched masterlist.

Summary: A little bit of reader's life trying to adapt to everything that has changed in her life. And also a glimpse of what Vi's life was like in Stillwater.

Words: 1.6k

After the whole incident with Jinx you decided it was time to quit your job at the brothel to dedicate yourself to helping your brother build the firelight society.

So that's what you did. You allowed yourself to be a dreamer.

It took quite some time. But little by little you two were able to create a network of trustworthy people who helped you get people off the lanes to give them a better life in the tree.

What started as a dream full of hope between you and Ekko was now taking more shape.

Since the firelights started to succeed in rescuing people from the rails you started to become more and more active and to heal little by little (but never completely) the wounds of everything that had happened in the last 3 years.

Trying to get you to stay in one place was almost impossible (unless you were building a new artifact). If you weren't in the warehouse where you were overseeing supplies you would be in your room creating something new, or on some mission, even playing with the kids in the tree. Sometimes you would help in the communal kitchen preparing food or washing dishes, sometimes you would spend some time at the mural of their loved ones touching it up a bit or adding new faces. It was almost impossible to stay immobile. But that was how you dealt with the trauma. Being in everything so you wouldn't think about it so much.

There are even seasons when you leave the sanctuary for a few weeks or months at a time to track shimmer shipments around town. You usually do part-time jobs in those seasons (anything but going back to Babette, honestly). You sell your tech from time to time, your only rule is to never sell anything that firelights use. Sometimes you even work on commission.

You have become an expert in many things and are always trying to learn a little more (you're a bit of a nerd, to be honest). But if anything, the trauma left you with attachment issues.

You find it hard and no at the same time show affection. The problem is that you never know when the time is right.

With Ekko there is no problem, he is your brother, and you are really afraid of losing the opportunity to show him how much you love him (as it happened with Violet). So sometimes you hug him or spend time with him making updates on skateboards or talking about different situations that the tree society is going through. You try to give him as much affection as you can because you never know when you might lose him.

But if we're talking about affection towards other people... It's complicated.

You are afraid of getting too attached to someone (although you have allowed yourself to do so from time to time to create good friendships). You are afraid of loving someone too intensely only to lose them the next day. So you avoid getting into relationships. Especially romantic ones.

For a few years you tried. You had a few flirtations, flirted with a few girls (you discovered that, in fact, boys weren't really your thing), but you never wanted to go much further than casual.

You also attribute it to your former job at the brothel.

You spent so much time cooped up intimate with so many different people that you didn't want a soul around anymore. At least not in that way. So eventually you stopped relating to people in a sexual and romantic way. You preferred it like that.

But you allow yourself to love your friends enough, despite the fear and anxiety this causes you. Because, again, you never know when the last time you'll see them will be.

But loving the children in the grove? That doesn't cost you. They are such adorable children and have been through so much that they deserve only as much love as you can give them. It makes you wonder what your life would have been like if you had grown up in a place like the one you were helping to create.

It reminds you of those who were once your friends. Who you came to call siblings (except for one, who was always more than that), and what would have become of them if they had grown up here too. That helps you to keep going with this.

For some years you allowed yourself to dream, especially around the time you found Jinx. And you never found any remains to the contrary, so why not?

You allowed yourself to dream that Violet was alive somewhere.

But little by little that hope was getting smaller. Until this moment, 6 years later, you started to lose it. And that also had an effect on her.

Vi was not alive, she repeated herself almost every day, but why did she still have this feeling in her chest? It didn't make sense.

So she tried again. She went back to start meeting people. But she couldn't take the empty, emotionless small talk anymore. Not when she still couldn't get over it.

While this feeling seemed to get smaller every day, it still clung to her (or maybe she was clinging to the feeling). It wasn't the same as it used to be, she knew that much. But she also knew that her grief wasn't over yet, so she decided to give herself a little more time to get over it. She didn't need to do it today, and, feelings for Vi or not, she still didn't feel ready to try to connect with someone. Not after all.

Until one day you decide that you're not going to let anyone or anything continue to consume you like this. Ekko called you crazy a couple of times for the way you executed it, but he knew it was your way of dealing with it. You refused to accept any more flirtations from your peers. You declared yourself totally and completely out of that market. Leaving you in what you had done many years ago; Concentrating solely on the dream (which was becoming more real every day) of the firelights.

But last and not least. You allowed yourself to let go of what you felt for Vi (which is not only love, but also guilt and other things). The memory and the feeling of innocent love would probably always stay there. But the guilt, the anger... You would take it as gasoline to go on with this. To keep on being a dreamer.

So you closed your heart more and more, leaving only a space for Ekko and your closest friends. All so that no one could get through your porcelain heart.

You'd do anything you could to keep going. For children like you once were.

You'd do what you could so no one would kill the dreamer in you.

Prison had not been pleasant with Vi.

Not by a long shot.

At first it was difficult. A 15-year-old girl locked up with, for the most part, adults. It was hard to make a place for herself. And if she thought it was being in hell before, now she would really get a taste.

The beatings were dreadful, years later she realized that she began to endure them until she was 19.

Sometimes, when she was half unconscious after receiving her punishments, she seemed to see you sitting next to her, giving her words of encouragement. Giving her company.

On difficult nights she liked to remember that day on the roof of The Last Drop. The day they made up.

The day you shared your first kiss.

She could still remember the softness of your lips against hers and the warm feeling that accompanied that kiss. It was among her most cherished memories.

But as the haze of the daze began to fade, so did the image of you in front of her. And as much as she loved seeing your face so clearly, Vi didn't want to sleep. If she had learned anything in Stillwater, it was that being vulnerable is your undoing. And Vi's most vulnerable time was while she was sleeping. So for a few weeks she hardly slept at all, she would doze or stay in an alert slumber. Until she discovered that if she got into enough trouble she would be taken to an isolated cell. So she started getting into trouble three or four times a week just so she could get some rest.

The first night she spent in isolation Vi almost cried with relief. She could rest, even if it's only for a few hours. She could allow herself to dream.

That night, in front of the pale moonlight that managed to filter through, after so many others where she was alert, Violet allowed herself to sleep that night.

She remembers dreaming of the life she had before, of her brothers, of Vander and Powder....

She also dreamed about you. Quite a lot.

She never knew if you loved her as much as she loved you....

She tried to hold on to that dream as long as she could until the last moment. But reality always seemed to hit her in the face.

And there, in front of the lightning that was coming through the wall, while the guard was walking to wake everyone up, Violet promised herself that someday she would get out of there and come back to you and Powder. No matter how long it took. She needed to get back to the two of you.

🦋

And 7 years after she arrived, her bedtime routine is holding up pretty well.

She bangs on the wall for a while to keep fit, stretches a couple of times and then lies down on her bed and relaxes for a while. She hears the guards playing cards in the background, so she tries to concentrate on her breathing and imagines what it's like in her sister's and best friend's life these days, it helps her sleep. The hope of someday getting out and sharing some of those lives with both of you.

Until one day her pleas seem to be heard, a girl, an enforcer named Caitlyn, seeks her out for help.

#vi arcane #vi from arcane #arcane #lesbian vi #vi x reader #wlw fanfic #arcane show #vi fanfic #bewitched #vi #vi x reader fluff #vi x you #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane #arcane fanfic

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sanest-bsd-delegate · 2 years ago

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Hello!! I hope you’re doing okay, this is my first BSD request so I was hoping if I could ask for Kunikida, Dazai. Fukuzawa and Ango with a s/o who is a hopeless romantic! Like they love LOVE if you get what I mean? Their love language is every love language! A s/o who is super affectionate, and has a lot of love in their heart for their partner and their biggest simp!

Thanks so much!! 🥰

Love-o-virus

Headcanon: Love is something expressed, with actions ft Kunikida, Dazai, Fukuzawa , Ango Masterlist Please look at the request rules in masterlist before requesting Hi! tysm for the request, I hope you are doing great as well. This headcanon is so wholesome I hope it aren't that disappointing.

Kunikida:

How do I even start with this man?

You would randomly bargain into the office to hug him. (Dazai be laughing at Kunikida's face)

Now, this man has everything timed and we know how busy he gets, but that doesn't stop him from receiving a hug from you.

You would write letters for this man, and I am pretty sure he has a box full of it at his room just dedicated to the things he receive from you.

He would return home tired and dejected perhaps, thanks to Dazai but your forehead kisses would always bring a smile on his face.

Now its not only you who would be such an affectionate one in the relationship.

He would totally bring breakfast to bed if you ever overslept. (He doesn't impose his schedules on you , he is such a sweetheart)

Who says everything is perfect when scheduled? Your affection for him was the only schedule he never made, and is the only schedule he ever broke.

You would probably be texting this man 'Next time I hug you, I probably won't let go for a long time.' just for him to hurry up and get home so that you can hug him again.

Kunikida is 100/100 rule breaker for you and only you.

Dazai howling at the backstage. *bonks Dazai*

Dazai:

We all can agree he would love this

He thought you were someone who despite romantic moves and affection considering your past conversations with him.

He legit screamed "Y/N GOT LOVE-O-VIRUS" Just because you kissed him more then thrice that day.

This boy loves it when you hug him from behind.

We all know this man might as well as be traumatized and haunted by his past, so you being his lover, suggests forces him to lie down and sleep

What on earth did I think about all the time before you?

Your affections just make him so happy that ADA team gets scared.

"I always wake up smiling. I think it's your fault."

Power couple 10/10>>>>>

"Even though I'm unsure about most things in life, I am certain that I love you, and I will continue to love you forever." Totally can imagine Dazai speaking this to you as you both will be cuddling.

You would just gift this man some perfume and hand knit sweater and the next day his appearance would be so different. Did he really had that long legs???

As much as you worship him, he worships you more. Hope this aren't going yandere next

I don't know if you read Reunion with blood and tears, But like i said, i can totally imagine Dazai receiving headpats makes him feel safe.

I honestly imagine him being touch starved, and with all that trauma he received at such an young age, his S/O being super affectionate gives him comfort and bonus.

Dazai deserves better

He loves whenever he returns home and is welcomed by a warm hug.

You two would often be drinking alcohol by the balcony and your drunken state would tell him how much you love him.

He loves you

Fukuzawa:

He still gets surprise with your sudden interactions

Lets be honest, you will be hugging this man and he would do nothing but return the hug and smile.

You would probably be gifting him a cat someday on his birthday and he would probably be so happy he would return a favor with a kiss and maybe hugs

YOU & CATS>>>>>>> that's his ideology.

THIS RELATIONSHIP>>>>>> its pure fluff

If you ever flirted with this man, in your youth days it would probably be "If loving you was a job, I'd be the most deserving, dedicated, and qualified candidate. In fact, I'd even be willing to work for free!"

He would let you style his hair whatever you feel like it, even if it ruins or ends up knotted. But he loves you so its worth it.

I am pretty sure he would love it whenever he returns home and sees you setting up the table for both of you to eat. I MEAN YOU WAITED FOR THIS MAN TO RETURN HOME DESPITE YOU WERE LOWKEY HUNGRY.

Please he is just lucky to have you.

Your adoptive ADHD child Ranpo along with the rest of ADA team would be dropping off and visiting you on weekends, where you all would play board games minus the yelling in monopoly.

He would probably giving you massages whenever you felt stressful and hug you in a comfortable way.

You both feel safe in each others presence.

You would be scrolling down the street, as your hand intervene his watching the peaceful Yokohama city you protected and preserved.

Ango:

this man is very microwavable.

Blushing 10/10

Your way of affections to him was headpats and nose kisses.

You both work as partners, so its very normal for you to slip your hands into his

Nose kisses>>>>>>

You would be randomly be resting your head on his shoulders whenever you take a mini break and he would always reply you with 'Y/N- we are at work'

You would always pass comments along the line 'You are literally the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.' only for him to blush.

Please he cant even act serious when you are around him standing so protectively. You are just damn cute for him.

You would be making him Coffee as he overworks, even if it meant to wake up at 1 am and make something for him.

His heart melts every time you do small acts for him.

Making coffee? His clothes fully laundered? You making sure he eats food? Yeah every small thing you do for him makes him feel loved and just bring back all the zoo feelings in his stomach again as a high school teenager.

I lowkey doesn't feel like it was exactly written along the lines of what was requested, but I hope this doesn't disappoints you.

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pinep-ne · 1 month ago

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Oh this tragedy... I've always wanted to write/read more of these three. It was very interesting only touching on the dynamic but at some point I'd really love to whip up something more thorough.

TW — Nightmares, implied trauma/flashbacks

(i have this fic and more posted on ao3!)

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It's been a month since taking the boy in, and about a week since their escape from Jackson in its blooming thaw. Town would be bustling, and the pine miles near it no longer had any snow to fall on all their heads, and Dutch deemed it urgently necessary. So they moved.

Hosea hasn't slept since. Not that the wood unsettles him, frighteningly still as it is, a dying ecosystem in the stampede of civilization. The birds played telegram and sought somewhere quieter, as does he. But, of course, Dutch believes otherwise. That was their center of gravity, a teetering thing they each teased relentlessly.

Arthur changed that.

The boy had spoken his name only a few days ago. He has dwindled since they first found him, like a network of dry kindling, compressed into a rudimentary bomb, heart thumping and desperate for ignition. Then, Hosea's lack of rest had been voluntary, on account of not fear but a paralyzing concern, that this boy would indeed shatter the strung web between them- or worse, himself.

The warmer it seemed, by climate and his distance from their bonfires, Arthur had become what Hosea can only compare to a single, fluttering aspen leaf. Not softer, but young as it should feel, as it should be. Too dampened to seek fire, but not yet enough to see him as a wet puppy, merely clinging to its only source of food and shelter.

That's how Dutch said he saw him. Whispered somewhere at Hosea's neck one night as he held him. Something Arthur never questioned. Called him "sopping with tragedy", to which Hosea had only huffed, knowingly taking part in the ridicule. Knowing too that at some point, Dutch would be right. It must be why the boy lingered so long in the town his papa was hung amongst. Knowing Dutch's ways, Hosea figures the wet puppy may as well stay a loyal dog. It is the ultimate reason why he still tries, despite his harsh opposition to taking Arthur in the first place. To give him a chance, Hosea, please.

Now, he thinks it had worked too well. All they have been left with is a frightened vessel, withholding a squirming childhood of pain and grief and anger within its marrow.

So, no. Hosea has not slept, simply for haunting things awakening. Arthur's night terrors have shaken the ground they sleep on entirely.

Most nights, it is impossible to wake him, or only impossible in fear of becoming nothing but a nuisance to the boy's terror. Still, most nights, it is only Hosea that stumbles out, swinging a dim lantern about to set at Arthur's tent. Dutch insists on letting it persist, until the outbursts has been exhausted. Hosea believes otherwise.

He reaches for the bedroll, feels for its edge to sit near, not yet touching Arthur, but close enough that the boy may grab for him, that he may anchor. He sets the lamp on the grass beside them, and looks down at Arthur's fitful self beneath him. Writhing silently, as if the fear churning within him could break free from the body, and run itself into a crazed death. His breaths are fleeting, mouth snarling in panic, patches of wet fabric clinging to his skin.

Hosea cannot help but frown. It gnaws at him.

Slowly, he reaches for Arthur's hand, ritualistically, clenched upon nothing. He wraps it with his own hands, to which the shaking begins in retaliation, as it tends to do. Odd, he thinks, how the body may respond like it's remembered it all before. It is not much different to how Arthur reacts to comfort consciously, more painful to witness how deep the wounds have truly traveled.

He circles his thumb slowly along the back of Arthur's hand, kneading it into something he can recognize, unburdened, and waits.

"Arthur," he says.

He waits.

Then, like a bolt of lightning, trickling down gunfire, Arthur jolts up, away from himself, instinctively kicking, only to be pulled back by the two hands on his fist. He nearly screams, throat too tight to convey the sheer terror, thrashes like his strings have been pulled taut, too paralyzed to escape. He shakes his head in a desperate battle, as does his body, beginning to accept entrapment hopelessly, before the light of the lantern finally registers.

The body before him is stilled, talking consistently, and it sounds familiar enough.

Arthur tenses.

It has hit him all the same as it does most nights. Panic saturating, melting into dread, ticking like a broken faucet. That he is still here, and he is still waiting to be treated as the child he is.

Shame. He thinks he must seek it in some sickened way.

Hosea watches the same journey upon Arthur's face, shifting and contorting like the features have been stifled greatly. To which, usually, he will turn from Hosea, not even recovered from the agitation, nor resuming his sleep in peace. Hosea will then stay beside him until he can hear every dragging breath, and the knot in Arthur's brows have gone slack, if even slight.

But this time, Arthur sits up further, flexing his hand in Hosea's before releasing it, and wrapping both his arms around himself. Glueing the pieces together, it collapses inevitably. He tilts forward, hesitant. Looking down shamefully, mouth limp in grief, face pale and puffy.

Hosea does not waste a second to let Arthur fall to him. Swiftly, his hand finds his boy's head, cradling, the other settled somewhere upon his shoulder. Commences their soft swaying, shushing and whispering like such nature has lived within him his whole life. It crawls from his heart, snakes from beneath his ribs. Mending. He absorbs every grating wail. Every twitch and jerk, the clench in the fabric of his shirt. Every tear and trailing wave of panic, stumbling from the ocean whom threatened suffocation, to the shore where Hosea and Dutch have waited for him

But he does not wait, as a pillar anticipates nothing, only the breeze that weaves through the pines and dries Arthur's sweat-soaked shirt, and the bouts of life sounding through the forest.

Hosea feels an easing presence behind him. Watches in the muted light, the ringed hand finding Arthur's back, muttering assurances. He locks eyes with Hosea, and for some time, he does not know whether to smile or to stay as the pillar.

It's when he feels they have all fallen asleep against each other that Arthur sits back. The same tension rested in his face that Hosea is most familiar with. He knows before Arthur speaks what he will say.

Arthur sniffles, frown deepening. "...I'm real sorry, sir—"

Hosea plants a hand on his shoulder. Pauses to watch Dutch retreat back to their tent.

He hardly hears Arthur the second time.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Hosea meets the boy's sunken face again. "Get some rest, son," he says.

#not much experience with hurt/comfort so i hope this was okay!!!#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #red dead fandom #curious couple and their unruly son #arthur morgan #hosea matthews #dutch van der linde #vandermatthews #requests #pinewrites #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic

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ellaa-writes · 1 year ago

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Good Dög

authors note: Part 2, part 1 here. In the same Universe as The Beast Within series. Can't wait to expanded the world more. But anyways, enjoy! :) (wow did not notice i reached 200 followers!)

summary: His favourite words include; down boy, good dog, heel, fetch and his most favourite, get 'em. Well trained, and listens good. Loyal through and through. Always striving to be the absolute best. Ready to attack at all times, always on guard. Loves discipline, either giving or receiving. Working for a criminal mastermind, lurking in the shadows. You both trying not to be seen or noticed but after one unlucky night, all you both can see are the ghosts. He invades your life, if you both like it or not.

tags: Alternative Universe. A/b/o dynamics. Female reader. Lots of trauma in this one. Mentions of a dead body. Mentions of weapons, self defense. Reader has a panic attack. Simon saves the day once again. Slightly stalking Simon. not proof read

Two weeks passed since that fateful night at the corner store. Your days were filled with nightmares, and those eyes and that voice were always there to save you. Too pull you back into the light, always waking up with your heart pounding.

The police realeased your belonging back to you, you didn't bother telling anyone. If you did they would just urge you to seek out help, to talk to someone. But you can't afford that right now, you were already overworking yourself trying to save up enough money to move out of this hell hole.

Two weeks and not a word from him, Simon. You laid awake most mornings and nights, wondering what he was doing and if he thought about you to.

You felt silly for thinking that, sure Beta and Alpha relationships were common. Hell your parents were in a Beta/Alpha relationship. But you always felt unworthy, never meeting someone that sparked your interest as much as that Alpha did.

You had a few days off, only because the law required it. But if it was up to your employer you would have been working today.

You decided to get out of your apartment, to go for a walk, to try and not thinking about the cold steel on your throat and that evil smile. Anytime it crept into your mind you would wipe it away. Shove it back down with all the other shit you refused to face.

It was a beautiful day in the city, lucky for you it was a weekend. People littered the streets, groups walking together and chatting. The restaurants had their patios open, only if you had friends you thought. You'd be out there, drinking your fancy drink, eating your fancy food and smiling and laughing. Reminiscing about the good ol' days, but you had none of that. Instead you watched from a far, wishing that one day you'd wake up in a new body, new life.

But that never got you far. You've always been a keep your head down and don't stay for long type of gal. Having been alone in this world for longer than you remember not being.

You lost your mother young, and your dad left all together. Not wanting to raise a child by himself, being a single widowed father. Instead he forgot about you and met someone else. Started a new family, one where you weren't in the picture.

Living in foster care after foster care, until your turned of age and was pushed out into this unforgiving world.

You found yourself staring at the people, laughing and enjoying their time. You were staring for too long, sometimes lost in your own world. Taking your eyes off the people out on the patio, you began casing things out.

Since the accident, you've been on edge more. Keeping a small pocket knife on you at all time, and a can of bear mace. As regular mace wouldn't take down a drugged up Alpha.

As you were looking around you noticed something, or someone. The eyes that haunted your dreams, staring at you from across the street. The same eyes and voice from the corner store.

It couldn't be, you must be imagining it. That feeling of uneasiness creeping up from spine, your brain telling you to run. So you did, you spun around and decided this was a bad idea. Leaving your apartment was stupid. Mentally beating yourself up as you sped walked down the block. Trying to get as much distance between you and those eyes.

They didn't scare you, not intentionally. But you were seeing things, they weren't real. Taking a short cut through the back alley, not wanting to waste anymore time. You were too much in your own head, speeding down the desolate alley, not noticing the fast approaching footsteps behind you.

All you felt was the hands grabbing your arm, and in an instant you were spun around. Your bear mace in hand ready to spray at the intruder. But before you could it was knocked out of your hand. Flying into the brick wall beside you.

And there he was, Simon. It was real, you did see him. "You could kill someone like that." you snapped at him. Picking up your now busted can of bear spray. Hoping you can get another one soon. "Plan on using that on anyone?" he asked. His voice just as husky as the first time you heard it. Your heart skipped a beat, holding in the breath you just took, your core getting tingly.

"Well not anymore." you huffed, shoving the broken can into your bag. "Had anymore run ins?" he asked, noticing the small knife next to the can. "No." you were shuffling on your feet. Not wanting to be here anymore. "Just precaution." you explained.

You hated the way he was looking at you, his head tilted. He was judging you, noticing things about you that even you didn't.

The tenseness in your body, the way you were constantly looking around you, how you held your bag tight to your body. Your quick movements and that look in your eyes. The one he knew so well, the same look he'd have often.

You looked like a lost doe, eyes frantic and legs wobbly. He pitied you, knowing the inner battle raging on inside of you. One that he wish he could take away.

"How have ya been holdn' up?" he asked. Stupid question he thought. He knew from just looking at you, that if a big gust of wind were to come you'd crumble like a dry leaf in autumn.

"I uhhh-" you didn't know what to say. Do you lie to him now? "I'm getting by." you replied. Knowing that didn't fully answer his question.

You were running, not psychically but mentally. Your movements becoming more frantic, your eyes wide with fear, the lost doe cornered and trying to find a way out.

Simon knew this, as he felt it often. He did the only thing he could think of, and he wasn't sure if it was even going to work. He purred, he never purred before. Not even sure if he was doing the damn thing right, but it was pure Alpha instinct. A female in stress can sore the nose, the smell permeating far. Letting everyone know, it was old basic biology, things have evolved since then.

The purr was deep and low, sounding like a bike engine off in the distance. As he slowly stepped closer to you, making sure his shoulder were laxed and his scent enclosing around you like a bubble.

You didn't know what was happening, you felt the tightness in your chest. You began struggling to breath, wanting to dive into the garbage bin and hide. To scream, cry, kick and bite. All these emotions coursing through your body, you hands shaking. Trying to grip onto your arms, hugging yourself tight. Rubbing you neck against your shoulder. Trying anything to make this feeling go away.

Simon wrapped you in his arms, pushing your head into his chest. That's when you finally heard it, the low purring coming from it. It soothed you, making you feel like a pup being cradled by its father.

He held you tight to his chest, enclosing both of you in a bubble of his scent. Blocking out all other noise and smells. His juvenile attempt at consoling you were working, you began sucking in even and deep breaths. The tightness in your chest and back relaxing, you unwrapped your arms from yourself and wrapped them around Simon.

If you were anyone else and this was any other moment he'd he ripping your limbs off. But it was you.

The nights he'd spend wide awake, thinking about you. Everytime he closed his eyes he'd see your dead lifeless body, your dead soulless eyes staring back up at him. He couldn't sleep the first time, he had to make sure you were alright. Sneaking into a vacant apartment across the street, just to make sure she was alright, he told himself.

But it was nightly, then daily. Ignoring his own work to watch night and day. Making sure nothing could or would happen to you. He didn't know what got into himself, why he had these strong feelings towards you. What made you so special.

What made you different from the rest, you haunted him night and night out. And you were alive, so why does he keep seeing your dead body everywhere he turns.

His boss noticed he'd been quiter than normal, which is saying a lot for him. A conversation he had while sitting in his bosses office one night. He use to hate the man, seeing him as enemy number one. Making it his dying mission to take him down, to take him out.

But when shit hit the fan, and Simon was sent to prison. His years of decidated and hard work went down the drain, along with his life. He was a walking reminder, the people he considered close some even close enough to be family, all cut him off. Discarding him like he was yesterday's trash.

The man across from him in the office, sitting on the stiff leather chair. The man that went by König, he was the only one that was their for him. When he was realeased from prison, he was their at the gate. Leaning up against a black sports car. Simon thought he was dead, everyone at least still thinks he is.

He gave Simon an offer, a too good to be true offer. Turning it down, vowing to never cross that line. To go over to the other side. But after finding out that no one gave a shit, that him going to prison didn't change anything. Him taking the fall and paying the price. Just to have them all act like he never existed. So he didn't.

Death by fire, he found it fitting. He felt like his whole existence was flawed, the moment his mother became knocked up with him. A bastard growing in her belly. She left him like the rest did.

But what made you so special, it was a question that he didn't know if he'd ever get an answer to.

For two whole weeks he couldn't shake you. Lying too himself that he wasn't stalking you, that when you were gone for work, that he wasn't breaking into your place. To make sure the windows were sealed and the smoker detector wasn't low on batteries. He even fixed the buzzing from your fridge, something you did notice but chalked it up to old appliances.

If he knew any better he'd say he was infatuated with you.

With you still wrapped in his arms he brought you back to your apartment. Using your key to unlock your door, carrying you into your bedroom. Setting you down and wrapping you up. "I'll be back." he told you. Leaving for only a moment, coming back with a bag of hot food.

It was late in the night when he finally left. You were tucked into bed, everything locked and secured. He didn't like the idea of leaving you alone, but he'd be right cross the street. Having rented out the space after squatting in it for a few days. Paying for two rents wasn't ideal, but in his mind it was only tempory.

You guys talked for hours, you telling him about your past in foster care. How you saved up everything you could to move here and get this place. Only for you to now do the same so you could get out.

You told him about your dream to live out on the country side, to live a small village. To have a farm, yellow house and maybe a few pups running around. But how that dream seemed to slip away faster and faster everyday.

As he settled into postion, on the weathered chair at the window. Watching people flow in and out of the street below. His mind asked the same question it always did when he found himself in this spot. Why you? What was so special about you. But now he also thought about how he wanted to give you, your dream.

The yellow house, the farm to look after and of course the one thing he never would have wanted or thought of wanting....pups.

#cod mw2 #cod mwii #Simon ghost riley #Simon riley #Cod ghost #Ghost mw2 #Ghost mwii #ghost x female reader #ghost x you #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x female reader #a/b/o dynamics #Alpha Simon riley #Tagging #König #Cause he was mentioned lol

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buccini555 · 1 year ago

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𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 — 𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚

⊹ ｡ﾟ⁖ Izana finds it extremely difficult to show feelings, but on a day when he was sensitive, he ended up confessing to you all the suffering he felt and how much you helped him overcome his problems and traumas, but he also confesses how afraid he is of you abandoning him

⊹ ｡ﾟ⁖ x m a l e r e a d e r!

⊹｡ﾟ⁖ 𝐹𝑡. Izana Kurokawa

A cold winter day, the snow gradually covered the dry trees, Izana was sleeping while you were just reading a book in front of a slope, it didn't take long for him to wake up, then you noticed him going down the stairs, so discouraged, that weather, all that blizzard, you definitely knew that Izana remembered things that she maybe wanted to forget.

"Come here, Izana! Don't you want to lie on my lap?" You said, Izana just remained silent, resting his head on your lap and closing his eyes, so as not to disturb him, you just processed your reading.

"...It's good to have you here." Izana whispered, taking comfort in your legs.

"Hmm? It's good to have you here too..." You said cheerfully, until you noticed the tears in his eyes.

"Izana? D-don't cry, what happened?" You were definitely worried, since Izana refused to cry in front of you.

"I wish this suffering in my mind would stop, the memories, the feeling of being rejected, all of this will always haunt me, do you understand?" Izana said, getting up and hugging you, he definitely wanted to vent, those lines made your heart sink, knowing how difficult it was for him.

"I have a war in my mind and I just can't win it." Again, Izana said in a low tone, you just stroked the boy's platinum hair, making him as comfortable as possible.

"...If you hadn't saved me from myself, I don't know where I would be. You were the only boy who could love a mess like me." Hugging you more vigorously, he just let those words slip away.

"Don't talk about yourself like that, I love you anyway." You responded immediately, stating your feelings for him.

"It's a challenge to love someone like me, you wouldn't understand." Still trying to control his insistent crying, the blonde said in a tone of sadness and disappointment.

"I-Izana..." You didn't know what to say, hearing him speak so harshly about himself was something that hurt you deeply.

"I hate showing love, I hate showing feelings, I hate all of this... But, boy, I need to tell you how much I love you, even though it doesn't seem like it, you were the only person I had left and I still fear losing you." Izana confessed what he always wanted to confess, the fear of losing you had tormented him for a long time, since he was totally attached to you, he simply didn't want to feel the pain of being left aside again.

Just wait, you continued to give affection to Izana, you know that she would never abandon him whatever the situation.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for saying such nonsense." Izana spoke again, hiding his own tears.

"It's not stupidity, it's your feelings, I'm happy to know how much you love me, I will never, never abandon you." You said right away, caressing the brunette's face and making him open a small smile.

"P-please hug me as tight as you can, okay?" Izana asked gently, looking at you with those beautiful eyes as if you were a puppy.

"Right!" Hugging him, you responded again.

"You're such a sweetheart..." He said as he hugged you after finally calming down.

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mrinafria · 9 months ago

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On Lovely Runner and OG Seon Jae

[contains spoilers]

You know, what will continue to hurt my heart (no matter how the show ends, which will end happily of course wdym) is Seon Jae from the Original 2008/2023 timeline. Sure, we all know our Seon Jae is the one and the same, and that version of him ceased to exist the moment Im Sol started to alter things. Still. It hurts to think that boy lived his whole life in guilt, misery and longing for the person who meant the most to him in the whole wide world. The person who brought the downbad loser side of him which no one else ever saw, the person who turned him into a pulp of emotions, the person who made him love rain, something he had hated his whole life (and I LOVE how his hatred for rain wasn't tied to some trauma unlike other kdramas but something very ordinary instead, LOVE IT). His guilt that he couldn't protect that person, that his split second of decision/action/inaction caused that person so much grief and pain, that his own 'greed' to spend more time with that person led to such a big catastrophe in their life. His misery that he couldn't go back in time and undo that one moment, or just any of those moments, where he didn't wake her up, or didn't stop the bus, or didn't get off the bus with her instead of picking up his stuff, or didn't take a taxi to reach her sooner, or didn't run a bit faster maybe to get to her as he saw her before his eyes.

Regret is a terrible, terrible thing to live with. And living with such immense regret for 15 years? And yet, he didn't think of ending it all. Because that is not who Seon Jae is, no matter which timeline. Even when he had to give up swimming, which was his deceased mother's dream and something that made him genuinely happy, he never gave up on living. He was there, so he could do whatever he could for Im Sol if needed. He was there, because her being safe was important, the most important thing for him, beyond his image, his career and everything the world was willing to offer to him. He was there, because Im Sol was there. Because they shared the same sky, because he could check up on her secretly to make sure she was doing alright, because life was okay and bearable with her existence in it, even if she wasn't a part of it.

True to the lyrics he wrote, he considered her a gift from the heavens. It was okay because living meant he could keep loving her for as long as he wanted, cherish her, remember her, even if she didn't remember him. Maybe he was waiting for a day she would eventually remember him? There was a chasm between his guilt/misery and longing, which he couldn't cross, wouldn't cross, mostly in fear of hurting Im Sol again, so all he could do was love silently, and wait. Wait for a person who would never actually remember him, nor be with him.

The boy that endured the heartache of a lifetime for 15 years, all he wanted to do was live in gratitude for that person who gave him reasons to live, who made him love rain. And then that boy was gone. Thrown off a balcony. Top swimmer 'marine boy' Seon Jae falling into a pool, the irony. And the whole world thought he was gone of his own volition. The world never got to see the pain behind those eyes that smiled when he sang. Most importantly, Im Sol never knew the pain and longing he endured all those years. Even though she learns later on that he was the one who saved her in the original timeline, she never got to know the guilt that continued to haunt him for the rest of his life. That boy left the world thinking his love was unrequited. That he never got to be with the one he loved. What makes me emotional is that he was able to meet her one last time, as if fate was giving him his most desired parting gift. What hurts me the most is that he never got to know the person who made him love rain, finally got to know why he loved rain. That the person finally remembered him. Im Sol finally remembered him, even though it came at the cost of his life. And he didn't deserve it.

#Lovely Runner #Byeon Woo Seok #Sun Jae #Kim Hye Yoon #Im Sol #Seon Jae #선재 업고 튀어 #time slip #kdrama #kdrama recommendations #east asian drama #kdramas #episode reaction

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writing-until-i-drop · 5 months ago

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Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 10

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

A/N: Daisy makes a deal with the devil, Jake and Natasha worry.

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

Maverick had agreed to let Jake have the day off so that he could go with me to the prison. His hands were shaking more than mine but he was doing a good job at playing the stoic guard dog, holding my hand, and glaring at the swarm of FBI agents who were briefing me on what was going to go down. Rudolph Lance would be chained at his waist, wrists, and ankles, there would be an armed guard standing outside of the room, and I would be going in alone.

Jake didn’t like the alone part one bit but there wasn’t another option. I on the other hand was perfectly numb, nodding through the briefings and thinking about what I was going to have for dinner. I wasn’t going to make this a big deal, that would just give Rudolph Lance a weird kind of power over the situation.

“Are you ready, ma’am?” I nodded, still numb.

“Hold on,” Jake grabbed my hand, looking at the agents and guards around us. “Can I get a minute alone with her?” One of the agents, which I had forgotten the name of, nodded.

“Just a minute, son.” They cleared the room and Jake fixed me with a hard stare, analyzing me. I just stared back at him, my face blank.

“Just say the word and I’ll take you home right now.” I shook my head, “Just making sure, baby.” He reached around his neck and pulled over his tags, “I can’t go with you but I’m right here.” The tags were heavy around my neck, the warmth of the metal seeping into my chest as I tucked them under my shirt.

“I’m here with you,” Four words that meant three words, I hoped he heard them all the same. “I’ll see you on the other side, pretty boy.”

“I’ll be right here, Wildflower.” Agents and guards refilled the room, sweeping me away. Inmates shouted as I passed their cells, pounding on the doors. The guards kept me moving, one of them placing a hand at the small of my back. Jake’s dog tags hung over my heart, I focused on the feeling of the metal against my skin to keep myself calm. The numb feeling I had been relying on wavering the closer we got to the end of the hall where the agents had said Lance would be.

“Okay, Ms. Prentiss.” One of the agents stood between me and the door, it wasn’t a cell, it was more like an interview room where prisoners on death row could speak with their lawyers. “The cameras will be recording the conversation, all you have to do is sit and talk until he gives up the names.”

“And if all of this is bullshit?” I asked, knowing that all of this could be for nothing. The agent patted my shoulder,

“Then he still gets a needle.” That was good enough for me. I exhaled, shaking out my shoulders,

“Okay, then let’s do this.”

I paused at the mouth of the room. Wearing an orange jumpsuit, chained to the table and the floor, was Rudolph Lance. He was older than I remembered, his dark hair streaked with gray, a scraggly beard reaching his chest, and a few crude tattoos now adorned his arms. He turned to look at me and suddenly, I felt like a twelve year old girl once again.

“Well, well, well, if it ain’t the kid.” The voice that had haunted my nightmare was unchanged. I took a deep breath, steadying myself, and took a seat. The door closed and locked behind me,leaving me alone with the monster that killed my parents. “Little Daisy Prentiss.”

“Rudolph Lance,” I glared at him. “They said you wanted to talk.” The man stared me down for a few minutes, saying absolutely nothing and then he smiled, chilling me to the bone.

“No need to rush, kid. We’ve got all day,” The bastard wanted to draw this out as long as possible. The FBI analysts had been right, he wanted to torture me. “You go to college?”

“I did,” I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek. Lance shifted in his chair, giving me a go on look that I ignored.

“Come on, Daisy. I’ve got information that put you on a flight from wherever you ran to when mommy and daddy died,” I dug my nails into my thighs to keep from screaming. “So, you answer my questions and then I’ll give you the information you came for.”

“Fine,” I gritted out. “I graduated with honors from Embry-Riddle with a degree in English literature.” He barked out a laugh,

“A useless degree,”

“I’m a published author.” He made a noise of interest so I continued. “I write crime novels where my detectives always catch the bad guy.” Lance nodded,

“Got anyone special in your life?” I debated whether to tell him the truth or not.

“I push people away. Apparently I have abandonment issues and a whole heap of trauma.” I glared at him while he laughed, “Doesn’t really give much of a chance for someone special.”

“No, I suppose not. What about your brother?” I bit my cheek so hard I tasted blood, eyes squeezing shut.

“Ask me about anything else,” Tears burned my eyes, “You don’t get to ask about him.”

“‘’Fraid that’s what I want to hear about. How’s Harvey?” What did I do? Did I walk out, refuse to say another word, and ask Jake to take me home? Leave all those families without their answers? Or did I make a deal with the devil? I sighed, placing a hand on my chest, feeling Jake’s tags, begging that they would give me strength for what I had to do.

“He’s got a wife and kids, he doesn’t remember a single second of that night.”

“He know you’re here?” I shook my head, keeping my eyes trained on the table. “You’re a good sister.”

“Fuck you,” I spat. “You don’t get to say that to me.” He laughed again and I smacked my hands against the table. I stared down the monster and all of the numbness that had been in my mind slipping away. “Tell me the names, admit to what you did to them, to my fucking parents,” I hit the table again. “Or I walk out of here and I’ll throw a party when they put that needle in your arm.” He stared me down but I didn’t flinch, even if I was shaking like a leaf in the wind. “So what’s it going to be?”

“You’ve got stones, kid.” I didn’t enjoy the tone he was taking, like he was proud of me for losing control. “You FBI sons of bitches got your pens ready?” He called out, looking at the cameras. He began listing names that meant nothing to me, taking his time to make a comment disparaging each of them in some way and then he set his eyes on me. “And last but not least. Jill and George Prentiss.” My parents. I thought there would be a movie moment, where I instantly felt better than I had in years, but that didn’t happen.

The guards escorted me from the room and brought me to Jake, who wrapped me tightly in his arms.

“I’m right here,” He whispered, kissing my forehead. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t think of the words, any words, to say.

Daisy slept the whole flight home, her hand in mine. She hadn’t said a word since she came back from speaking with Lance, just giving me nods and shrugs. I had texted Phoenix in warning and sent Mav one asking for a second day off, which he had responded to just before take off.

Mav: Already approved it, you need more just ask

Hangman: Thank you

When we got back to the apartment, Phoenix had pepperoni pizza and beer waiting, but Daisy pushed right past her and headed to her room.

“Should I call Harvey?” She asked, running a hand down her face. She looked tired, dark bags under her eyes, “I don’t know what to do.” I hesitantly pulled her in for a hug, surprised when Phoenix returned it, squeezing me tight. “She’s going to be okay, right?”

“She’s going to be fine, Phoenix. She’s got us,” I rubbed circles between her shoulder blades. “We’ve just got to be patient with her.”

“Thank you, Jake.” She whispered, “For being here for her.” I sighed, resting my chin on top of her head.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I promised her. “I’m going to take her some dinner and that’s where we’ll start with figuring this whole mess out.” Phoenix nodded, pulling back and wiping her eyes.

When I got upstairs Daisy was in the shower, so I put dinner on the desk and sat on the bed to wait for her. It didn’t take long for her to finish and she reappeared in an oversized shirt with her wet hair brushed behind her ears.

“Bob keeps sending me dog pictures and I’ve never been much of a dog person but they’re really cute.” I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing, crossing the room to kiss her soundly on the lips. She smiled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around me. “We should get a dog.” We. I kissed her quick, three more times on the lips.

“I’ll get you a whole litter of puppies if it’ll make you happy, Wildflower.” Daisy slipped her hands under my shirt, resting on my bare back.

“You’re here with me, right?”

“For as long as you want me, baby.”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @cinderellasmissingshoes @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writtingrose

#hangman x oc #jake seresin x oc #jake seresin #top gun fanfiction #wildflowers for a hangman fic #top gun maverick #fanfic #natasha phoenix trace #pete maverick mitchell #idiots in love

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aesterblaster · 1 year ago

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Bad Dogs Can Learn New Tricks

Which Blue Lock Characters Have Gone To Therapy, In My Humble Opinion. (+ Who Desperately Needs To But Hasn't + Who Might In The Future)

Warnings: Some spoilers for way past the U-20 Arc, also not an extensive list of characters, honestly kind of funny. I wasn't trying to be TOO serious

Songs: Falling Behind / Laufey , The Main Character / Will Wood , Nothing's New / Rio Romeo

Has Gone To Therapy And Loves Their Therapist Gang

-Anri, There is no way she is able to have that much patience and take that much shit from corporate without having a therapist. I think she uses like 1/5th of her paycheck on books about improving your life and stuff like that LMAO. Her therapist is also a woman so it helps her to have someone who understands her frustrations with not really getting credit despite being one of the founders of Blue Lock. Also sometimes she gets worried she's unethical towards the boys so that weighs on her.

-Kenyu, Look it's still in progress ok? He was just starting before he came to Blue Lock. Once he realized he was going to lose his vision he started working with a professional and found it really helpful. In fact they were the one who encouraged him to go after Blue Lock in the first place. One of the reasons he was so quick to say sorry to Isagi is because he has those #coping skills.

-Gagumaru, After having a run in with a bear in the woods he kept having nightmares and his parents made him go to therapy. Well it was kindddd of therapy..it was a hippie who's a family friend. That doesn't mean he doesn't know grounding techniques. He even taught Naruhaya how to calm down from a panic attack once. But yeah, he doesn't really tell people that he went to therapy

-Snuffy, After his best friend's death he went to therapy ASAP. The type to only call his therapist once every 5 months and still have a rock solid relationship with them. His therapist helped him break his womanizing habit and realize that he's enough all on his own. 100% did some soul searching and stepped away from the scene. He also combined the therapist with a personal trainer to really max out his healing process. 100/10 dude for it.

"I Have Gone To Therapy And It Didn't Work" Crew

-Chigiri, Similar to Kenyu, his parents thought he might need some mental health help after the trauma of thinking he'd never be an athlete again. But he was one of those cold shoulder my mom is forcing me to do this cases. He never actually worked through what he might do if this whole thing falls through. Also snarkiness 100, his therapist almost quit because he was so insulting to them. Chigiri just felt ashamed that his parents even thought he should go in the first place and convinced his sister to also beg them to stop taking him lmao.

-Isagi, Okay at some point his parents realize he takes faliure wayyy too hard and tried to get him in therapy. When he talked to the therapist though the dude was like "Yeah, he's just competitive. Nothing wrong here." Alas, he's been masking for so long that he's incapable of revealing his issues to anyone who hasn't known him for 3 years or plays sports with him. Also, he convinced himself he doesn't need it and then idly imagines just going apeshit and killing his enemies to cope with stress...like bro...

-Noa, Why do you think he gets along with Isagi? All jokes aside, his PR people probably asked him to do it and he went and then secretly never went back. It honestly didn't work because he wasn't willing to give it a chance. And still isn't!!!! Would rather backflip off of a yacht than tell someone in a lounge chair about how growing up in intense poverty still haunts him sometimes, makes him question his worth and avoid conflict in day to day life. Sometimes he wonders if one day he'll wake up and find out it was all a dream....But nah he doesn't need therapy!

-Oliver, He was soooo close to actually getting his mental health in check but then his therapist retired. After that he got another really seasoned one and saw the amount of case files in his desk and just felt like a straight up burden. One of those "other people have it worse" and "it is what it is" guys. He's very open about his emotions and feelings so he just talks to his friends when he's really struggling. (Even though Sendou never says the right things-) Like yeah it's their job but why bug these nice people when sex?? Why talk about issues in sessions when he can get drunk or go train for 4 hours??? Riddle him that?

The "I Need Therapy And I Know It" Team

-Ness, He has so many fucking issues. Honestly, despite his devout worship of Kaiser he does realize that his behavior isn't quite healthy or normal. Dude tries to show you a funny video on his phone and all of his ads are for Betterhelp. Genuinely trying to figure out a diagnosis. Yes he has looked up all sorts of personality disorders and no he doesn't think he has any of them (He has at least two). But again, Ness is self aware enough to know that some help or someone to talk to who sees him as an actual human being would be nice.

-Niko, He cannonicaly describes himself as very very introverted and nerdy, also he hides his face. Tell me you were bullied in school or at least had an extremely traumatizing incident without telling me. Kind of never had anyone, just people who hung around because of his soccer skill or avoided him like the plague. He is that guy who will rant about "society" online for hours and fantasize about moving to a different country thinking he'd get better treatment there. Cripplingly lonely and self conscious at the end of the day, in all honesty. Also he genuinely wants a therapist but just can't afford one.

-Hiori, Obviously his parents are the ones who stop him. He tries to go and his mom realizes where he's making her drive him and swerves off. Even when he gets his license, you just know they're tracking everywhere he goes. He doesn't have enough privacy to really get better like that, Hiori has to wait until he moves out. Still genuinely fucked up by the fact that Gagumaru has gotten therapy and he hasn't. Just listens to emo music and plays video games and pretends that that fixes everything. He's totally releasing a top-selling book about his horrible childhood after Blue Lock.

-Bachira, Is he outgoing and silly? Yes. Does he need better coping skills? Also yes. Men will tell you the most horrible and traumatizing childhood memories about getting jumped and then laugh it off, and it's him, Bachira is men. He ties to brush off his trauma with humor but it never really works. He knows that he genuinely needs to talk to someone other than Isagi or his mom about the Monster and how it was by his side for so long. But also never goes through with getting professional help, just thinks about it sometimes.

The "What's Therapy? Fuck You!" Group

-Kaiser, Oh god, don't even suggest it to him. I headcannon that mental illness kind of runs in his family. He's watched family members be taken away for being too out there and openly mentally ill so he has a reason to not trust doctors. Just associates therapy and things like it with abusive institutions. If he told a therapist all of his issues, he'd probably be sent to a psyche ward. Just the threat of being sent there single handedly kept him from killing himself or talking about his feelings when he was younger. He will continue to just be slightly abusive to the people around him thank you very much.

-Ego, Bro's got the government banning him from soccer and you think he's thinking of therapy? When Anri tells him he needs it offhand, he's like, revenge is my therapy. Insane as fuck but thinks that it's a good thing. He is not willing to talk about his issues to anyone, but especially not someone who will write it all down. Genuinely ruined a few relationships in his past because the main people he attracts are the "I Can Fix Him" people and it just never works. Suprisingly unself aware for how much he analyzes others.

-Barou, His main issue is just shame and failed gifted kid syndrome. But as soon as he's back up he's convinced he doesn't need help. Barou suffers from really high highs and really low lows but he also has the mental fortitude to handle it. He is a well adjusted and kind enough person outside of the soccer field so he never considers that he needs therapy. When he feels bad about himself he hits the gym but he's never really opened up to anyone and he sure isn't going to start once he gets more famous. Especially when he's seen as one of the best right now, can't risk his reputation.

-Rin, He's would rather gut himself with a sword than admit that his mental illness doesn't make him a cool loner wolf and just a lonely person who hasn't healed his inner child. Kind of just wants someone to baby him and tell him everything's going to be alright but in the mean time his barriers are up 24/7. He disdains therapy, thinks that he'd just be seen as a pay check and he kind of isn't wrong. Rin would rather pay money for expensive cleats than spend it for someone to suggest him breathing exercises. He also had a traumacore phase, but he'd rather not talk about it.

#every once in a blue moon my brain works #blue lock #bllk #blue lock headcannons #bllk headcannon #bllk anime #feel free to add on in tags #rin bllk #isagi yoichi #barou blue lock #ego jinpachi #kaiser michael #bachira bllk #hiori yo #niko ikki #ness blue lock #bluelock #chigiri blue lock #bllk fanfic

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wosieposiecozy · 7 months ago

Text

Finally got the balls to post this

Candybats rambles and HC and individual stuff. Turning these freaks into OCs fr

🦇🎀 Rambles under the cut bc talk of mental health, also note pink text is for things that are more personal to me/ based off my life. I project onto these freaks a whole lot, especially streber! The pink text range from silly to not so silly 🎀🦇

Enjoy!!!

-kevin is a nerd/freak, no way he's friends with Radford and isn't a nerd, bro def has a fixation on sonic the hedgehog but only owns 06 (he borrows other games from rad)

- streber is not an engineer but a theater prop maker, he enjoys the stage and probably was in a robotics club in college but engineering/ robotics was not something he wanted to go into directly. He dose prop commissions and is a teacher assistant at an elementary school.

-streber is great at math and calculations, but my boy can't read/spell well.

- streber likes to fidget with Kevin's hands

-kevin likes to just flop on top of streber. Streber likes the pressure. Kevin's like a cold weighted blanket, and streber is a heating pad.

- streber struggles with depression, it's been a year since Bob and while he's doing better, he struggles with not feeling anything sometimes, he's nervous on how his response to his trauma isn't like others. He kinda pretends it didn't happen and continues on, and only really thinks about it when he's alone at night. (Based on my own experiences with grieving a lost one)

- streber has mixed feelings about people who survived Bob, he never blamed them but he's just is extremely upset he couldn't get the same treatment from that monster. He stopped going to support groups and just dose 1 on 1 therapy.

- streber lived with his parents for a while after getting out of the hospital (the rats stayed with Leon 💪) , and kinda just wanted to rot in his bed, but eventually went to some sort of support. Mainly because of fears of going to the mental hospital (yes, again,based on irl experiences)

-streber refused to talk to news outlets regarding the incident.

- he fluctuates wanting to get a prosthetic arm to not wanting to.

-kevin is on depression and anxiety meds. (Literally hc he has the same as me, bro take them everyday or else bad shit happens!!! )

- Kevin doesn't talk about work when he's not at work, it makes him pissed, mainly because the most interesting thing is skid & pump, police, teens stealing, or killers/demons

- Kevin hates work and dose experience fear of "god, what I'm if I go into day and I die" but the anxiety of having to get a new job and change his norm over powers his fear of death.

- streber bites Kevin, like just a stress and comfort thing, Kevin is okay with it. Streber kinda bites his arm sometimes

- streber and Kevin rent out apartments, they don't live together.

-streber loves his rat children. We got Socrates🐀, motor oil🐀, and Mr. Girl🐀!!

- Kevin had a love at first sight kinda thing but didn't act on his feelings, mainly because he likes to get to know people first before asking them out and bc work has him in a choke hold.

- Kevin would like a pet cat but.... Work 😔

- they met because of Radford 💪 the real hero of spooky month's 18-30 year olds 🫡.

- streber became pretty good friends with Kevin at first then he fell for him, bro just loves cringe fail men (and women). Kevin was beefing with children, no way your gonna find a better boy failure /silly

- streber disassociates during slasher films. He still loves horror and Halloween as it was his comfort growing up, but Bob left a stain that will forever haunt him.

-streber's favorite horror movies are silent & psychological horror.

- Kevin isn't a huge fan of horror movies but he appreciates "Dave made a maze" & probably "Willard", he's like " Dave just like me fr!!!" (Go watch the movie, it free on Tubi 😎)

- both can't drive, streber takes the bus, Kevin takes his bike.

-I like to think they're both touch starved.

-kevin likes physical affection and wants to give it to streber but kinda forgets how to

-streber is very big on physical affection but isn't use to it

- freak 4 freak

-insert Kevin is a fan of young Sheldon here-

🎀🦇 Oki rambles over 🦇🎀

If you liked it, that's kinda epic

#spooky month #candybats #kevin x streber #streber x kevin #wosie wambles

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