#love this sm tho

[yurislotusgarden]

Can't break the rule!

ʚїɞ Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 688

ʚїɞ Tw’s: Small mention of suicide because it's Dazai but otherwise just pure fluff, pet names used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ʚїɞ This was literally written from 5:30am to nearly 7am and only the ending was added in after I woke up, I want that kind of motivation all the time

Gorgeous.

That's one of the words running through Dazai's head while looking at the sleeping beauty that's currently laying down on his chest, peacefully asleep. He knew that you would surely disagree with his thoughts but he didn't particularly care.

He was also aware of how late he was at this point, and that Kunikida would call him any minute now. He would pick up since that would make it so easy to tease the younger man, but it would also cause the risk of waking you up, which he absolutely didn't want, so he shall settle for messages at most. Kunikida should appreciate that! Dazai would take a big part of the time he could spend looking at his darling’s pretty face to text him back!

And just as he thought, the phone’s screen lit up in the darker room, the curtains still down due to neither of you getting up from bed that day.

‘There it is.’ Dazai lazily reached over to where his phone was lying on the nightstand, before bringing it up to his face to look at the screen, his other hand on your head, fingers gently running through your hair. He let the call go on in silence, the phone being put on mute just after you fell asleep earlier.

‘Finally!’ He thought as the 3rd call in a row ended, and he didn't have to wait long for a text from his work partner to pop up on the top of his screen.

‘YOU GODDAMN WASTE OF BANDAGES!!!’

‘WHERE ARE YOU?! WHAT RIVER WAS IT THIS TIME’

‘I SWEAR I'M GONNA THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW THE MOMENT YOU STEP A FOOT INTO THE AGENCY’

It was exactly what the brunette expected to see. Right now, the blonde was expecting to be told that Dazai had taken another dive into a river or tried another ridiculous suicide attempt. Little did Kunikida know that the brunette did the exact opposite and stayed home.

‘It looks like I won’t be in today, I can't break the rule after all!’

‘Sorry not sorry Kunikida-kun!’

He probably should have written a message to Kunikida that he won't be in like he did with the president, but where would be the fun in that? He’s lucky that he doesn't take too many official days off.

‘What rule are you talking about, you idiot?’

Dazai could have left the conversation where it was at the moment and leave Kunikida to be confused, but he decided he could have more amusement from continuing it.

‘Oh?’

‘Does dear Kunikida not know the important rule? How surprising!’

‘Just spit it out! I already spent more time on you than I should've or planned!’

His darling always told him that he should spare Kunikida from time to time, but he never really listened to that one thing, didn't he?

‘Of course! I can't leave you in the dark about it after all!’

‘Is it really that important?’

‘You will realize just how important it is once you know the rule!’

No, he never listened, and probably never will. Riling Kunikida up is just too entertaining to pass up on.

‘The rule is: If something small and cute falls asleep on you, you shall not move less you want to wake the small thing up’

‘And it just so happened that my darling angel is asleep on me right now, not like a single man like you would know how important that is <3’

‘So no no Kunikida-kun! I can’t get up and go to work, otherwise, I could break the important rule that obviously applies to me as well and I don’t really wanna break it!’

‘Now bye bye!’

‘Wait what?’

‘Dazai?’

‘YOU BASTARD COME BACK HERE’

Dazai knew that his dear colleague would chew him out the next day once he appeared at work since it wasn’t like he would find him at the agency’s dorms that day, like usual at that point. But for now, he had to go back to his previous job, and that was staring at his angel’s face like he was before the blonde’s interruption.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[monzterbatz]

SOWA CREAM!!!!!! THIS IS SO SILLY OMG..... HER FACE.... CREATURE!!!!!! :3

have a mini taco doodle cuz i felt like drawing her hehehehehehe

[gatoburr0]

Hehe hiii samurai shiver Hii um!!

Also yes I designed the tattoos from scratch and I still gotta do the one on her back 😪

[devonaoki]

pov ur having morning coffee with the boys after an all night threesome

[lesbielol]

ovulation horny makes me want to do unspeakable things 😵‍💫

[milesworld96]

I’m not joking when I talk ab how much I love them and that I’d die for them

[flixiastar]

Happy twf again but the

[sorsabruh]

BEEE!!! He's so stupid and silly I love him

[starrypawu]

(also i found a black jellycat dragon plushie after i made the original tweet so i drew them with that one teehee:3 putting a photo of it down the read more if u wanna see it!)

it looks sm like an ender dragon bro WAHHHH also this hc was sponsored by my own jellycat dragon plushie she gives very good hugs and she is pink and i love her oh so very much

[exxcidio]

DAY 5: UNEXPECTED GIFT(s)

in the end he never threw it away.

[kenchann]

saw some images of crowleys va and i cant help but draw crowley over them www

[ashipiko]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACEEEUUUUUU <3

ok now everybody whack him w a pillow

[dapper-lil-arts]

[cattrek]

death to fascism! freedom to the people!

[isjasz]

[Day 182]

Grian mentions Hollow Knight on phasmo stream and gave it a 10/10 the crowd goes wild HOLLOW KNIGHT AU LETSGOOOOOOOOOOO

Inspired from this!

[blkkizzat]

kali. elaborate on choso's dick😋

pasiiii bby!!! omg yass i would love to expand on bbygyal chosito's ochinchin.

our chositos dick is the perfect size tbh. its not lung penetrating long like gojos or rip your walls thicc like tojis. but clocking in at 7.53 inches long and 5.58 inches in girth (avg girth is 4.8-5.3). so hes still above average but we don't feel like we are dying taking it hfkshfkjsd.

color wise? tip: #db6e79 (you're low key kinda scared how rosy and angry it looks) shaft: f5d8c6 cummies: #fcfbfa

you feel just the tiniest bit of discomfort. i say tiny cause this man is HUGE on foreplay so you will be more than ready and stretched out (i mean it, it dont matter if y'all in the backseat of the car he will BE your seat and want you to ride his face for at least 20 minutes, thats quickie foreplay to him LOL).

his tip is slighty larger though so getting it in or just the tip is a bit of a struggle but its not too bad onces hes inside. there's an upward curve to his dick that deliciously scrapes his tip along your g-spot when he pulls out and slams back in. oh you couldn't squirt before? best believe you a fountain now bitch shdkfdfhbksj.

before you even see his dick you see how hard its thumping in his tattered black jeans. bbygal gets REAL excited at the thought of fucking us and he's not soo overly large where his cock is too heavy to still twitch as much as it does. you will visibly see (and noticeably feel beating against your walls inside) how fiercely his dick twitches in anticipation/excitement of feeling you.

when do you first see his dick, whether he's a virgin or not, you think he's already cummed his pants once you see how the fluids are slowly but steadily dribbling out of his tip. nah, mamas, thats just his pre. you really don't even need lube at all with how wet he gets you and how much pre is coating him. that said, if you thought he leaked a lot of pre out of his pretty little mushroom tip, just wait until that man is cumming inside of you. buckets hoe. BUCKETS. to the point you think there might be something medically wrong with him...

there definitely is something mentally off tho because normally guys that cum as hard as he does (body spasms, pitchy lil whines and throaty moans), would be too sensitive to continue. but he will cry thick tears rolling down his redden cheeks and onto you at the intensity of his sensitivity as he continues to rail into you. which is a good thing too because he definitely came not even one minute in.

yeah our bbygal is a minute man but our lil minute man is a trooper (no actually he just crazy asf for you to the point of masochism) and will stay hard by activating blood manipulation. yeah RIP your coochie, you better start writing the eulogy once this happens.

best to keep our baby in positions facing you so he can every once in a while snap out of his coochie hypnosis by slowing down or speeding up based on your expressions/cries. otherwise with your face stuffed in the pillow and muffled cries, he might go a little overboard in backshots. the jiggling of your ass rippling against his flesh and splashing your fluids like waves will have him transported thinking he is in the middle of a euphoric ocean, losing himself in the motions.

this is why he might not be the biggest or thickest but you will still be just as sore in the morning cause he will fuck you the longest. oh you passed out? don't worry you gave him the somnophilia pass. you don't remember? oh baby, that's cause you were far too fucked out by the time you did. tbf you didn't even remember your own name then.

but don't worry our bbygyal is sweet and is king of aftercare... once you do eventually get that aftercare... in the morning. yeah he also fucked himself unconscious and fell asleep inside you. hugging you tightly to him you're only a tiny bit crushed and overheated. but its okay cause he is so cute the way he is tonguing your nipple and cooing affectionate noises for you like a baby even in his sleep.

just softly pet his hair and try to get a few more minutes of sleep tho... you wouldn't want to wake him just yet.

you're still tired and he will have morning wood you'll have to deal with once he wakes up. ;)