#because I’m not sure yet about this au or wtf am I gonna do with it
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Hehe hiii samurai shiver Hii um!!
Also yes I designed the tattoos from scratch and I still gotta do the one on her back 😪
#art#fanart#my art#original art#another AU guys#holy shit the amount of time this took#not even effort just time#Splatoon au#Splatoon samurai au#work in progress#because I’m not sure yet about this au or wtf am I gonna do with it#mmmmmsfnsdjngw women with tattoos#OH this was originally a yakuza au. yk the mafia#but Idk how to include Frye and big man and the others in that so eeehhh ❌❌❌❌#shiver Splatoon#Splatoon shiver#shiver hohojiro#Splatoon fanart#Splatoon fan art#Splatoon art#Splatoon shiver fanart#shiver fanart#no this is definitely not inspired by blue eye samurai nonononononono who said that#she’s so zesty tho#and a cold killer. GOD I love women have I mentioned that before#by the way the Sarashi is down there because if it was higher we wouldn’t be able to see the tattoos and especially the oni head#oni heads are the best bro Onis are the best I love Onis sm like ohhh#yokai jskdbvjdwbjifwdbojsdf I love LOVE JAPANESE FOLKLORE AND UH YEAH MYTHOLOGY WHATEVER#help#wake up sweetie seryo got bored again
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*slides in on fuzzy socks* hi hello i was wondering. If you have any fic recommendations for kh. Because I just finished kingdom hearts three and am looking at the number of fics on ao3 and am Very intimidated so,,,, (dont feel like you gotta resp to this tho!)
oh anon, yes
I’m gonna break this into two categories, not because I have 100 bookmarks for you, but because organization makes me happy and I think just coming out of KH would make u more inclined to canonverse than aus or more conceptual fics… all of which I have!! And keep in mind a lot of really good fics on ao3 are ships. So let’s see here
canonverse/canon-adjacent
(I don’t need you to) worry for me - cigna_hime - I present you with an amazing fic about vanitas seeking out ventus way before he was supposed to, and ending up a wayfinder. Fic that makes me feel soooooo many emotions
Dandelion seeds - corishadowfang - khux likers do you want more dandelions? And Union leaders? Of course you do dandelion seeds is a collection of oneshots following ephy and the other leaders as they try to run daybreak town for four years together. This has made me cry as well. If you like this read her other work it has subject x skuld and treasure planet in it yes yes yes
Like some pitch moon - alcor - this one is very violent and it is also VERY SATISFYING, im not even a leaisa and leaisa go BRRRRR. also there’s some really cool stuff with ymx and kairi in here. Lea and Kairi enter the final battle of kh3 together, and something sure hits the fan.
runs on happy faces - bukkunkun - short, sweet, so sweet, so so sweet, sora grows up on the gummiship
the joining of unlike things - mousapelli - love this one!! worldbuilding about keychains!! Forging keychains! Roxas and riku and sora and aqua!
reminiscent - therasia - REMINISCENT GOOD. Ventus misses Vanitas (or at least the challenge) and goes to fight the vanitas remnant about it, to the detriment of literally just himself a lot. Tagged as ship but as it’s unfinished, it’s not really there yet
like old times (before we had a care in the world) - prototyping - I could prolly have a whole category about wayfinder fluff. I do have a whole category about wayfinder fluff psst hey kid
aus (outside of canon)
See you in shibuya - end-alls - TWEWY TIME this one is FUN. It’s a whole what if about yozora, Sora, and riku in the reapers game, and I love the spec worldbuilding and character stuff. also vanitas gets a leather jacket. What more could you ask for
they may pass - magicites - ventus vanitas ffx au! a sellsword and an al bhed summoner complete their pilgrimage. I’m on the floor sobbing my eyes out and the author knows I’ve done this multiple times and she laughs at me (not really she’s very nice.)
cough it out - ??? - verrrrry cute soriku confession fic. sora is sick and riku accidentally gets roped into not avoiding him anymore. Also sora is obsessed with Disney movies
cool sea turtle beats to relax/rehabilitate to - frootlups - dandelions run a sea turtle rescue and it’s literally one of the only chatfics I have ever found that feels like an actual discord server they would have. this one is so fun and Ephemer saying “I’m literally obsessed with you. Like wtf is wrong with you” is in my head forever
at the edge of hope - bookwormally - PACIFIC RIM AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! currently being updated WHAT more could you WANT they pilot JAEGARS TOGETHER
umbra, penumbra - end-alls - vanitas-ventus roleswap. Ventus is spooky scary, and gets his hand licked by a darkness rat. I made fanart for this one it makes me go :]
a lot of these authors have many other very good works, and I have a stockpile of fics that are Similar (like my ten wayfinder fluff fics) - so, like if there’s only one oneshot here or only one cool au and you want more, lemme know and I’ll let you know if I have em! I kind of guessed and went for the medium long, some shorter
#I love fic and fic authors but I’m very picky about my fic#so this is my curated collection here AJFBESKGB NOT TO SOUND. PRETENTIOOUS? I GUESS?#ch’boy has. fics that are less conventional but make my brain explode#A ton of fics just about ven I think he ties sora for - nope 57 sora 53 ven#fics that are weird but I love them#MORE aus etc etc etc etc#pineovercoat. (explodes)#there are fics I love but didn’t put here is what I’m saying. Thought abt your just finishing 3 and went hmmmm what fics would I like then#hope it works dghfhjvgdj#ask#anon
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1, 14, and 23 for the asks?
I’ll keep this one brief, because I’m sure everyone is like shut up about the Pacific Rim AU but it’s the Pacific Rim AU. I loved the whole process of this one, I really pushed my writing style and tried something new with its not-entirely-linear format, and I just really ENJOYED the worldbuilding. This fic just flowed out of me - in fits and starts though, I didn’t write it all in one sitting, but whenever I did sit down to work on it I never struggled for the next sentence. I also tried to make the romance more understated, it’s there, it’s overt but not, you’re not getting a full blow-by-blow sex scene but it’s happening between the lines, which is pure self-indulgence because that’s absolutely the sort of thing I love reading but this whole fic was utterly selfish, haha. Sequel is coming along very nicely but it’s a little pet project so will def be probably like, February before it’s finished.
14. Honestly I could give the same answer here but I think I’ll be a bit more abstract and say ANY McShep fic whatsoever? This ship just came flying out of left field and wrapped itself around me like a plastic bag in the wind, like, I went from 0 to 100 in ten sentences when reading my first McShep fic in like, April this year. And it’s not like I wasn’t entirely unaware of the ship, like, I managed to be spectacularly oblivious during its heyday despite being 100% glued to livejournal around that time but I mostly via osmosis was aware that when you look for Stargate fic (because I am and always have been a huge Stargate fan from day zero but just never really got into the fic until this year) you’re gonna get a hell of a lot of Sheppard/McKay stuff and I just… never gave it a second thought past ‘wtf why do people ship them’. LOL. Fast forward to the wiser version of me (who actually, y’know, READ A FIC TO FIND OUT (thank you, War Bride)) and hello, I have 8 trillion WIPs and am solid gone forever goodnight let’s have the second McShep renaissance, I’ll bring the popcorn.
23: OOOH okay this is a tricky one, since I like to consider all of my ideas like, not not written but just not written yet, and I don’t like to go too much into detail with them because my brain mentally checks them off and I lose all enthusiasm for actually working on them if I reveal my sEcReTs. Actually okay, I probably won’t get around to this one, but I really wanted to write a little gen thing about Rodney and Jonas set during the Redemption 2-parter from SG1, because I love post-Siberia still-an-asshole SG1-era McKay and I just adore Jonas and I think they’d be really cool to bounce off one another since they’re both gigantic nerds but at the opposite ends of the personality spectrum. They’d be good foils for one another, I think, but alas we only got like a 1 minute long interaction between them in the show. (Jonas, I will write a fixit for the end of your storyline one day, I promise.)
#Sorry for the formatting I wrote this in another doc since tumblr eats all my text posts and I can’t fix it 😂#great questions thank you!#McShep#Stargate#Stargate Atlantis#goldleaf's writing
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Thoughts on Thomas and Alastair reading red white and Royal blue together in modern AU.
uhm yES PLEASE
This contains spoilers for Red, White and Royal Blue. Enjoy!
Imagine them in bed right after dinner cause they're one of those couples who ditch their friends to read
Thomas coming back home with this book Matthew and Cordelia have been ranting about for the past weeks
And Alastair is weirded out by the fact that he has two copies, "Why would you buy two?"
Thomas just shrugs, "I didn't. Cordelia gave me hers, cause she told me you'd spoil anything the second you read it."
They settle in bed and Alastair waits until Thomas is ten pages in to start his, cause Cordelia wasn't wrong about him spoiling everything
Thomas is a calm reader, only crying when you're supposed to cry and reading a book without having to talk about it for the rest of your life
Alastair is the complete opposite
He frowns and screams at the books and always goes to Thomas to make him read single sentences before starting to rant about what fucked up shit the characters are doing
Thomas usually doesn't understand anything of what he says, but he also stops doing whatever he's doing, focusing all his attention on Alastair until he just storms out of the room to continue reading the book
Alastair is also a ugly crier when it comes to books
And a thrower
He once hit Thomas by mistake and it was because of a character's death. Imagine his guilt just adding to his grief and picture a very distraught Alastair while he's being coddled by his boyfriend
Alastair has laughed and chuckled way too many times in Thomas' opinion, but hasn't commented on anything yet
Until, "Oh my sweet jesus, bOY YOUR GAY IS SHOWING."
Thomas has to laugh at that and turns towards him, "What happened?"
Alastair is shaking his head in disbelief, "Alex is hating Henry with every fiber of his body one page and then he's brushing his posters the next? He's dumb."
"He reminds me of someone." he mutters
Alastair ignores him
"I'm living for Henry calling Alex out on his shit behaviour." Alastair whispers at some point, with a large smile on his face
Something hits Thomas on the leg and when he looks up he notices Alastair with his eyes and mouth wide, "The cAKE!"
"Homoerotic frat bro mishap - gotta love this woman."
"Tom," he calls him, "have you ever hate-read my wikipedia page?"
"You don't have a wik-"
"But, honestly, who does he think he's fooling? This boy is dumb dumb." He laughs, "Mad stupid."
From time to time Thomas just hears "Stan Zahra." or "Stan Ellen." and he just smiles
At some point Alastair just screams-laughs and goes "I'm going to thROW UP ON YOU, I'M DYING." before falling silent again without any trace of amusement seconds later
Thomas is startled when Alastair screech, "BABYY!"
"What?"
"ALEX IS SAYING HENRY'S SKIN IS SOFT."
Thomas is enjoying the book just as much, but he can't wait for the moment when they both realise they like each other, so he just keeps reading
"Alex was fAST starting to see Henry as a human being and not some kind of monster."
"Oh my god, why is Alex being such a dickhead-"
After a few minutes of silence, Alastair gasps, bringing his book higher and buring his face between the pages before screeching again.
"WHAT'S GOING OOON?"
Thomas snorts with wide eyes
"HE'S CHECKING FOR HENRY'S TEXTS!!!"
After a while, Alastair turns to Thomas, brushing his arm, "Are you liking it?"
He nods, "I like the fact that Henry uses capitals at the beginning of his texts while Alex doesn't, it's the little things."
During The Turkey Scene™️ Alastair just loses it and Thomas has to stop reading to calm him down
"Oh god Tom fucking finally-" he turns to Thomas, "Henry looks fucking rested for once."
Thomas nods again, "And Alex noticed."
That makes a wide grin spread over Alastair's face
Thomas understands he's reached the New Year's Eve when all he can hear from Alastair are gasps and curses
"NO. NONONO. NOO!" Alastair hits Thomas on the arm, "Alex just kissed Nora and Henry ran away."
Thomas smirks, "Just keep reading."
"THEY'RE KISSING. GOD YES. THEY'RE KISSING."
"NOOOOO!" Alastairs screams, "WHY DID HE LEAVE WTF?!?!"
"Thomas I'm breaking up with you if you don't tell me now this is gonna be fixed somehow in the next three pages."
Thomas just clicks his tongue, shaking his head
"Wha-" Alastair just huffs a laugh. He turns to Thomas, pointing to the book, "Baby have you read this? Alex is- He thinks he's what now?" He's straight up laughing now, "Straight?!"
"He did what with Liam?"
"This is literally the gayest shit I've ever read in my life."
"Nah ha, I don't believe it."
"How can he think he's straight?"
"Oh god they watched porn together- HE JERKED HIM OFF."
Alastair just hits his head against the headboard, "I didn't think I'd have to go through the who the fuck am I in this book. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR JUST BY THE FACT THAT HE FUCKING CARESSED HENRY'S POSTERS."
"AND THEN THIS NEVERENDING LIST OF GAY THINGS."
Alastair panicked for a short time when Henry was seen with that blonde but started screeching again after a moment
Thomas bursts into laughter when he heard Alastair mutters God save the Queen
"'I want you on the bed.' OH JESUS CHRIST THOMAS IT'S US."
"Tom?"
Thomas turns when he hears the hesitancy in his boyfriend's voice. Alastair's face is red and he's biting his lower lip
"You okay? What part are you reading?"
"No, uhm," Alastair scratches his head, "can we -" he clears his voice, "Can we make out?"
Thomas blinks a couple of times, "Sure."
A heavy make out session ensues before they both can start reading again
"We need to buy cupcakes tomorrow." Alastair mutters at some point, chewing on his lip
"Thomas this fucking book is the best thing I've ever read. I'm loving it so much."
Alastair closes the book around midnight, but Thomas knows he's not finished. He doesn't look his way thinking he's just gonna go to the bathroom
When Thomas senses him move around on the sheets and lay his head on hip lap, he closes the book too and look down at his boyfriend
"What's going on? We just made out."
Alastair grunts in his legs and looks up at him, "You're my match."
Thomas doesn't understand, but he smiles and leans down to kiss him
He resumes reading and realises Alastair had read more than him when he reaches Alex's and Ellen's conversation about matches. Thomas looks at Alastair once again and pesters him with kisses
It's around 3am when Alastair starts yawning
"Alas, you should go to bed."
He shakes his head, "No, I'm not tired, I wanna finish the book."
"The book will be here tomorrow."
"I don't care."
He drops the fight, knowing perfectly fine that he'll never win this
Alastair can be quite impressive when he finds something he likes - especially when it's books
"Fucking homophobes."
"I'm gonna riot if somebody doesn't let Alex call Henry right the fuck now."
"HENRY ASKED ALEX IF HE IS OKAY? BABY WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU."
The end of the book is read so fast that Thomas can't keep up with him and is now more than 20 pages back
Alastair is a crying and screaming mess by the end of it and Thomas has never seen him so upset in their time together
He's just spoiled the whole book for him, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care that it's now 5am and they have work in a couple of hours, cause Alastair just looks his way with wide eyes and his mouth open as if he's just realized something shocking
"Oh my god, did Pez, June and Nora had a threesome in that hotel room?"
tsc tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)
bold tags don’t work
@storysaremyreality @clara-sm @zoyalinas-nazyalensky @harryscameron @jamescordelias @grxceblqckthxrn @stitchkiss @ahiretsinging @allofmywonders @tremendousheadachecollector @tlh-tea @taco-taco-belle @city-of-fae @ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes @fclklcres @ghostlivvy @matthewwfairchildd @abigneignenn @imherongraystairstrash @rednailpolishqueen @herondamnn @parababitch-herondale @silent-nerd @fairherondale @starryherondales @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @claralady @anne-reads @darkshadowqueensrule
#thomastair#thomastair headcanon#headcanon#the last hours#thomas lightwood#alastair carstairs#thomas x alastair#alastair x thomas#tlg#chog#cog#coi#cot#chain of gold#chain of iron#chain of thorns#shadowhunters headers#fic#red white and royal blue#rwrb
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Ok but I have been thinking about this “Astor takes Zelda when she’s young” AU all night like:
So Zelda’s mom dies and Astor gets his astrolabe from Asivus after he fucks with the guardians and [REDACTED] and Astor has his little Calamity agenda all within a shorter amount of time than the span of time in HKU. This is so that Zelda doesn’t have too much knowledge about her role as Hylia’s vessel yet so that when Astor takes her she’s like “dope” and doesn’t really know exactly how important she is. I mean as soon as your mom dies and your dad turns into a dick, the first magic dadstor to come into your radius going like “let’s go vibe somewhere else” I think anyone would accept that.
So the princess is whisked away and the kingdom goes into pure shit and chaos, and Rhoam is left no choice as to basic double, no, triple down on Sheikah tech and the divine beasts, all while sending out searches for the princess—which never come into fruition.
Meanwhile, Zelda grows up with the Yiga Clan as an assassin shes got a sickle and short hair because yeah!! Zavis is still a spy but instead of joining the Yiga Clan to be more useful to Zelda, he joined the Yiga Clan to find her and when he did, since his dad and Zelda are all basically on the same side he doesn’t have really any loyalty to the crown anymore
Now just in case, Astor pretty much lies to Zelda about her past as she grew up, just so that there isn’t a chance she gets dragged back into castle life or anything. “Oh yeah, you were just some little noble girl who’s dad was a dick, and I was friends with your mom before she died so I decided to take you in” and it lines you just enough with what few memories Zelda has of her childhood that she believes it. And ironically, with her loyalty to Astor and the Yiga Clan, she grows to despise royals and laughs at the stories of the missing princess like “ha, what a nerd. Hyrule really is doomed since she dipped from her destiny, what a loser.”
Does Siv team up with Astor earlier since he doesn’t have Zelda to give him hope that he can overcome the Calamity? Maybe. Idk.
So anyways, Zeldas going out doing Yiga things and she meets a knight with a pretty cool looking sword, and she’s like “Oooo imma steal that” and then she tries but she failed because this kid is REALLY skilled. He beats her, but doesn’t kill her when he realizes “You’re just a kid?” Then, they hear someone coming, like a captain or something, and he tosses her a few rupees like “get out of here and go home, the others won’t hesitate to kill a Yiga like you—girl or not”
Now Zelda goes home but she’s PISSED. Not only did she get her ass beat despite being the most badass Yiga she knows, the kid has the audacity to toss her RUPEES as if she was just some common poor thief. What an asshole! But also, she’s super ingrained by him because pretty much her whole life she’s believed the knights and those with the royals are a bunch of ruthless assholes who do nothing but blindly adhere to their commands and rules. So the fuck is with this kid??
She doesn’t tell anyone about this encounter (mostly because she doesn’t want to be yelled at, nor admitting the embarrassing detail of being beaten) but she does tell Zavis about it. And he’s like “pfft. He’s just a kid, btt it give him a few years and he’ll grow up like everyone other asshole out there, trust me”
Then later on, Zelda sneaks out looking for this kid again. And she does, and they kinda cross blades, but mostly she just complains to him about how annoying he is, and she tosses the rupees he gave him back like “I don’t need your pity money!” And they banter for a bit more and eventually she’s like “what’s your name, huh?” And the knight is like “....you don’t know who I am?”
“Oh let me guess, you’re one of the hundreds of people named Link, is that it?”
“Something like that.”
“Well Link, I’m Mallory, and I’m going to kill you now!”
Suddenly Link’s stomach grumbles and he sheathes his sword “Dinner break!”
“WHA—?? Keep fighting me you idiot!”
“Nah...I’m super hungry.”
“What?!?! What’s wrong with you??? I’ll kill you!”
“No you won’t.”
“I will!”
“You’re already breaking a sweat and I’ve been holding back this whole time. Plus, if you wanted to kill me why did you just give me back my rupees when I had my back turned instead of stabbing me? Either you like talking to me, or you suck at your job. Anyways, cucco nugget?”
So they’re kinda friends now.
So time passes and they’re still secret friends, and they like being friends because they “keep it real” as the kids say. Link never admits to her that he’s the hero, but vents about his knight life and his dad who never seems to be happy for him despite his accomplishments. And Zelda vents about her life in the Yiga Clan, and despite being the best, Astor never seems to want her involved in the more important missions and never tells her jackshit”
“Well I guess that’s good for me. Would hate to have the Yiga’s best asset being used.”
“Hey this is serious!! I need to help in the destruction of the royal family with the Calamity!”
“Do you really believe that? That we’re all already doomed?”
“Well yeah. I mean, even if the hero’s around, the princess is dead, so you all don’t stand a chance. But don’t worry, when the Calamity comes I’ll give you a heads up and you can go chill in Faron or something”
Then, things be picking up with Astor and the gang, and he’s finally found an opportunity to kill the hero. And Zelda remembers hearing from Link that he sometimes hangs out with the Champions and the hero for protection, and she’s like, “can I come?” because she wants to be useful, but also to make sure Link doesn’t die or anything. Yet per usual, Astor’s like “No. Just stay here.”
Now Zelda gets super pissed and him and they have a fight, mostly circulating around the fact that Zelda’s been nothing but loyal to the Yiga Clan and yet she nevers gets to actually feel useful and it also put on the sidelines whenever anything actually impactful happens. “Hell, even ZAVIS does more than I do! What’s your problem?! Can’t you have confidence in my for once??”
And Astor in Astor fashion ends the argument super harshly like, “You won’t be ready for anything, ever. You’re still incredibly naive and foolish, so if you want to help, then you can help everyone by staying here, and safe, and away from everyone. THAT is the only thing of use you can do, so do it.” And then they go off to kill the hero and Zelda runs off to her room al frusterated and shit.
But you know, you often meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it. And this Astor’s little plan to keep Zelda away from Calamity related business so that she can never discover her powers or who she is...is gonna backfire, splendidly.
So Zelda sneaks out anyway, with the idea in her head that if she kills the hero before Astor even gets there he’ll have no CHOICE but to recognize how competent and useful she is and he’ll eat his words!
But then she gets there, and she sees the Champions, and Link, and she goes to confront Link with sickle in hand like, “I don’t need you! Just tell me where the hero is, and I’ll spare the rest of you!” And the Champions are like “wtf” and Link is like, “Just leave. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I know exactly what I’m doing! Just tell me where the hero is and no one else has to get hurt.”
And Daruk’s like. “Uhh...but he is the hero?” And everyone glares at Daruk, and Zelda goes into shock, like w h a t. Aw shit..so that fancy sword was the master sword...and he’s so good at fighting because he’s the bloody hERO FUCK, IT’S SO OBVIOUS NOW FUCK.
And I feel like as Zelda is contemplating her life choices in the moment. Revali would attack first because he’s like that. So he shoots her in the shoulder, or something, and she releases Link, and then something something her mask falls of and Urbosa recognizes her because of course she does. And Urbosa’s like “Zelda?!??!?” And Zelda’s like, “Who the fuck are you? Who’s Zelda? I’m Mallory.”
And by that point, Astor is there and he’s like “wtf is going on here.” And he sees Zelda, and he’s like “Mallory get over here right now.” And she hesitates for a moment because she’s right between him and Link.
“Move aside, now. Quickly. We’ll discuss your insolence when we get back home.”
And she’s like “...No.”
“Excuse me?”
“T-There’s no need for this. The princess is dead, right? S-So what’s even the point?”
“We have to ensure victory for Lord Ganon. We’re just making sure there’s no chance of anything happening. There’s no need to defend them, they’re all doomed, they’re all the same. If the hero doesn’t die by my hand, he’ll die by the Calamity’s. So move.”
“You don’t know that!”
And Astor raises and eyebrow because this is basically the first time Zelda has questioned this, ever. “What did you say?”
“I...I said you don’t know everything! You could be wrong!”
And he gives a sad smile and shakes his head. “I know more than you know.”
“I’ll tell you when we’re done here, promise.” And then he does his little malice teleport thing and he’s about to kill Link with a big ol’ malice attack, and Zelda does that reaching out thing like “No!”
And the BOOM. Her powers awaken, and EVERYONES like “oh shIT.” And Link’s the first one to be like, “You’re the princess???” And Astor’s like “hmmmmmmmm....fuck.” And Urbosa’s like, “Ok, I’m gonna stab Astor now.” and then she does! good for her.
And then Zelda is freaking out like what the fuck just happened who huh where what huh and then theres conflict because she doesn’t want Link to die but also his team just sorta stabbed her father figure and then its chaos or something and uhhhhhhhhh yeah that’s all I got I have no idea how this would end.
I feel Zelda wouldn’t go back to the Yiga Hideout after that, in fact I think she might run off with Siv because he’s like “hey, hey, hey. maybe gimme some of that light juice and get the calamity out of my head?” And of course Zavis would go whereever Zelda went (maybe?) She definitly wouldn’t go with the Champions yet, but they’re out looking for her. And also Astor would be looking for her with the Yiga Clan but mostly he’s like “fuck my life.” because literally everything he had been working towards and planning for over a decade has been ruined in like, an hour.
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Just came up with the most INSANELY amazing plot bunny I have ever had the honor of harbouring in my glitter graveyard...........like it’s SO GOOD YÁLL I’M GONNA CRY
and it’s for my wife @bellemorte180 and jfc this is the most fun I’ve ever had plot bunnying, Erica and I have decided to keep mum on the details but basically it all started with me desperately wanting Caroline to commit mass and I mean massively MASS genocide against humanity and enlist the originals help for the same and I just didnt know how to do that though.....like what could possibly be the reason and so I started working backwards from genocide went to a lot of disturbing places along the way but finally ended w Caroline as an xyz Earth Goddess (not yet sure on the mythology) who’s been slumbering for the past 3-4 millenniums and has now woken up to the utter shitshow that is humanity and our world-wide war against Mother Nature, and Caroline is pissed at how humans have essentially destroyed large chunks of her planet irrevocably and are continuing to do the same to the rest, so she starts a series of plagues that basically makes human’s drop dead like flies all over the world, I’m not gonna say more bc that will give away too much but Klaus falls for Caroline w/o knowing she’s the earth goddess who’s doing all of this and the feral shit that he is, after learning that Caroline is actually the earth goddess he’s a tiny bit cautious of an unbeatable being, a little bit amused that she’s committing mass genocide in the most organized colour coded binder with laminated flash cards way possible, a LOT horny at the absolute livid divinity of her and just largely still nicely whipped and smitten for her bc seriously tho why wouldnt he be I mean he doesnt bloody care for humanity as long as all the art and music and culture is preserved which obviously Caroline does, she’s not an uncultured plebe tyvm and is very happy going on murder sprees with his favourite goddess as humans die right left and centre.
like yes yes its a bit depraved but erica enjoys it and its a gift for her and I always have loved a healthy dose of massacres and mass murdering in the content I consume so no really we are not taking criticism
BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE PART I’M MOST EXCITED FOR AND OH MY GOD I CANT REVEAL WHAT PART I AM ACTUALLY EXCITED FOR BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY EVERYTHING GOOD AND tiny AND BRIGHT IN THIS WRLD
And jfc I can’t stop Dreaming about this and plotting it in my head and just RUNNING around with it, and oh god Erica loves it so much (w good reason) and I am just giddy with how insane this idea is and just how much I love it for it
asdfghjkl I’m smiling so wide and literally buzzing with excitement fr it it’s making me lose sleep like please I need this in my life this instant.
But really though the BEST fandom experience ever according to me is plot bunnying w your friends shooting ideas back and forth and just *ded-ing* every two seconds over how absolutely MAGNIFICENT the ideas are
I got to sound board Erica’s newest upcoming work The Machiavellian the past two weeks or so (Erica noticed that I spelt it right just for you) and DUDE IT’S LITERALLY THE BEST FANFIC IDEA I HAVE HEARD IN AGES like oh my god *bites fist* IT’S SO FUCKING AMAZING like Erica’s brain is a WONDER and I am in awe bc it’s literally EVERYTHING YOU WOULD EVER WANT IN A CRIME THRILLER AU
Like this is the kind of fic that would be made into a movie that all top actors in the industry would FIGHT for a chance to act in...........like No seriously and sincerely tho it’s so good and intricate and nuanced and just ties up together so perfectly and just SO SMART like it is so fucking SMART I have an intellectual boner for my wife, LIKE DUDE THE DETAILS The DETAILS are fucking ELEGANT and Erica’s gonna be such a teasing lil shit in this one, teasing and riling up the readers with clues and hints that only serve to make you HUNGER for the truth just like in wanderlust, like dude she is gonna be MEAN stingy with the deets until the grand reveal and OH MY GOD THE GRAND REVEAL IS GONNA BREAK US ALL Like I legit see everyone going WTF I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AT ALL BUT THANK YOU FOR BITCH SLAPPING ME WITH IT ANYWAYS
And also also oh my god the slow burn 🥺💀💀THE SLOW BURN WE ARE GONNA LIVE AND DIE IN JFC My soul will not survive Caroline and Klaus being super Badass private underground agents (of a sort) on a damn MISSION the slowest barest of lingering touches the heart to hearts the constant teetering and dangling on the precipice of something so unimaginably new great and EPIC....the REPRESSION THE PINING THE SLOW FUCKING BURN jfc I might combust if someone does not throw a bucket of water at me Like dude I’ve read the outline there’s like no way I’m gonna survive this heart stirringly beautiful slow exploration between them.
Like this idea is so good it has not left my mind in DAYS and I am DROWNING in it and Erica has done such a fine job outlining it and reading through the outline yelling at her every time she blows my brain into a hundred buzzing pieces I can only say the plot is so GORGEOUSLY intricate and complex and nuanced and just LAYERED and honestly if anybody can pull off such a complex plot it’s Erica and I JUST CANT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT FOR THIS BABY LIKE OH MY GOD LISTENING TO YOUR FAV AUTHORS COMING UP WITH YET ANOTHER UNRELENTINGLY BRILLIANT IDEA IS AN *EXPERIENCE* AND I AM HONOURED TO HAVE BEEN A PART OF IT.
And now plot bunnying again for my own idea with her has AGAIN given me something I am seriously seriously EXCITED enough to sincerely work on for the first time in AGES and I am fucking HIGH w it like please sir this idea is gonna suffocate me with the feels
eenyways yeah so that’s what I’m internaly screaming about instead of studying bc I’m just so giddily excited for both the ideas I had to come leave an unedited chaotic word vomit here and like seriously tho I’m bouncing in my seat this is gonna kill me slowly and perfectly I just know it like I just do and I am HERE FOR IT.
#klaroline#klaroline fanfic#klaroline plot bunnies#bellemorte180#Like dude both these plot bunnies are buzzing and dancing around in my head and wont stop yelling at me#and like this is such a nice giddy experience tho#daydreaming about your ideas and just living in your head#escaping reality briefly and floating in the clouds#LIKE PLEASE I'm so happy for me and Erica and everyone wjo will have the good pleasure of reading this work#also yes yes yes I do have permission from erica to yell about her unreleased work dont @ me#ugh wife I hate you for making me feel way too many intense emotions all at once#like please my heart is fragile it will legit sprout wings and fly away if you ply it with anymore of this DECADENCE#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#please someone switch me off for a second#I need to study but no it's Klaus as the Machiavellian that's killing me#and Caroline as the earth goddess also killing me'how so on brand for the both of them
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my ranking of tropes!!
As you may know- I uh- I write(fanfics) lol should I say I’m a writer?? Am I even a writer I- *existential crisis continues*
Well, anyways!! I decided to rank popular fanfic tropes cause why not?! (Everything you read from here on out is my opinion so no fighting!!!!!)
For S tier!! Of course, angst was gonna be a tippy top choice for me, so is hurt/comfort(although I suck at writing the comfort part lmfao but reading comfort? YES), fix it fics are amazing like the time I needed to fix an ending of a movie that I came home from crying cause like WTF and I had to write a new ending, dark is well known cause well, DD:DE anyone?!, and canon divergence is a sure thing cause I mean, it’s AU material isn’t it??? and infamous ABO, damn, idk but y’all but that shit good when done right cause MMMMM hell to the yes for inner wolves and ranks, with the bite marks and stuff and lemme say alpha/alpha(unconventional ABO pairs and fics like with alpha/beta are ok too, but ofc I love alpha/omega as well) be doing things to my heart like you wouldn’t believe WOW.
Y’kno what they say, canon material=free real estate.
Tier A!! : surprisingly major character death is here instead of S tier but it’s because I like writing it(With all that angsty goodness) but I don’t really like reading it in other fics(cause I don’t wanna cry uwah), time loop is fun to write but not really to read(watched one too many movies with it and it was ruined for me in the long run)...established relationship is so good because I don’t have to worry about anything(unless one or both die then mayday mayday fuck we gotta problem), mutual pining is delicious lemme scoop it all up, unhappy endings are angsty so I love them and yet cry(so I may skip according to my mood), the AU’s are like beautiful when done the way I like em(opinions opinions), gen fics are surprisingly good all by themselves as long as you read the tags/summary you’ll be good to go!
Tier B: arranged marriage is like the cherry on ice cream you can like it or hate it but it’s there and it isn’t that bad or anything to worry about, honestly if you have to fuck or die I think realistically we’d choose to fuck cause who wants to die if you can live? the AU’s ahhh chef’s kiss. Enemies/friends to lovers, after recently liking the childhood friends trope I was like this IS IT I love the dynamics basically, drunken confessions seem like a thing in real life too so I like it, fluff is cute to read but not to write cause I can never write it without getting angsty ahh maybe I should work on that for the new year??? (shhh wip in progress for new fandom ehe but still quite angsty oh noooo lmao)
Tier C: the AUs are uh not the worst but not the best... I used to like them a lot more but now I could live without them if I had to, amnesia is either frustrating or done really well, “there was only one bed” oh the horror ahahaha, warmth in someone’s arms? Hell yea, sign me the fuck up for that MMMM. Crack? Sure, I could get with the program. Pwp/sex pollen pretty much the same thing lmfao I can sit through it but it has to have a little bit of plot, first kiss usually cute and fluffy which I like reading but somehow can never write out lol the pains of being an angst writer instead of a fluff writer.. miscommunication is either super annoying to read cause they run circles around each other OR there is no or, it’s just awkward for me..I like healthy communication...
Tier D: in short, I hate children in fics and IRL...like the screaming tiny tots that can’t really talk..so yeah that and pregnancy whether it’s mpreg or not is probably out for me, crossovers..if it can make sense and I like both fandoms and there’s no badly written Oc’s...I can take it..body swap on the other hand? No. We keep our own bodies in this household thank you very much. Fake relationship is built on lies, it’s just hard for me to get through them unless it’s good and they work it out well between each other. The fairytale au by itself is alright but tbh time periods and the settings don’t match more than half the time which makes it hard for me to get into it..I like accuracy..coffee shop is..unrealistic half the time..although that could make people get into it, it’s just not for me. Missing/behind the scenes stuff are GREAT when done well, like a sneak peek of “What if” things.
Now. Love triangles. Your may be thinking- a whole new paragraph for this? Yes. I HATE THEM WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEINGGGGG YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE PAIN I GO THROUGH WHEN FINDING OUT IT HASN’T BEEN TAGGED PROPERLY IN A FIC. If two people like the same person and the person likes them both back, don’t make the person choose. It hurts both parties. If the two people that like said person are die hard enemies, then ok fine, choose away, but ya know we(all genders included, I’m sure) got cough holes cough for a reason- just saying..basically I’d like love triangles to go to hell and make way for the queen: threesomes.
LOL anyways, that was my lengthy ass ranking, lemme know if you want to see more of these(I might do a husbando/wifeu ranking in the future ahhh all my fandoms will end up revealing themselves ahaha) And you are most certainly VERY welcome to comment below what fandoms you think I’m in/might like, and I’ll comment back ofc ^^ Let’s be multi-fandom together ahaha
#fanfic#a03 fic#a03 fanfic#ao3 fanfic#ao3 stuff#archive of our own#fanfiction#fanfic writing#fanfiction writer#trope talk#fanfic trope#trope time#trope
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I was tagged by @la-muerta & @facialteeth & @thedivinemissema for the WIP/Title Game
rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!
AND THEN by @shadoedseptmbr @msviolacea & @ravenclawnerd for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”
so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.
Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D
Misc Fic Folder:
“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting
I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)
“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)
WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:
“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that
“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic
“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere
“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷♀️
BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)
“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.
”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon
”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it
”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.
”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?
But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)
“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.
Shadowhunters
pt1: WIP LIST ONLY
“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.
“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it
“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.
“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?
“fall fright fest (practical magic au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)
“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*
(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)
“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually
“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.
“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.
“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.
SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?
“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.
“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT
"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.
"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it
"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)
“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.
AND I THINK THAT’S IT?
Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D
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You’ve Got Mail: Jungkook One Shot
Request: Hi! I really love your writings! If your requests are still open, can you pls write a Jungkook story? Ex-lovers in high school where he broke up with her because he got bored or something like that. Then they met again in university and wants her back again. (Angst but happy ending pls). Thank you!
Description: After a messy breakup with high school heartthrob Jeon Jungkook, you swore off dating once you got into college. Even though it left you lonely, it was easier than being hurt. But one fateful blind date changes everything for you, and you realize that maybe isolation isn’t the answer either.
Word Count: 12.9k
Pairing: Jungkook x (gender neutral) Reader
Tags: Barista!Reader, Graphic Design Student!Jungkook, Non-Idol!Au, Ex-Lovers to Enemies to Lovers (? I guess? Haha)
Genre: Whole lotta angst, fluffy ending
Warnings: None!
A/N: It’s been two weeks since I’ve posted wtf!! But I’m back and less than a week away from the Rose Bowl concert, holy cow. This ask has been in my inbox for MONTHS, so I need to say thank you to the anon who sent it for waiting so long! I really enjoyed this request, so I hope you guys like it too!
Also, if you want to follow me on Twitter please do so! My handle is @/plzpunchmebts. I would post a link, but rumor has it Tumblr killed links and I’m not taking any chances. I’ll be posting concert videos and pics there, so please give it a follow if you’d like to see that!
- Mercury
You were never too keen on blind dates. Everything about them felt…artificial. It wasn’t that you were a romantic, not especially, but you had to admit that being forced on a date by meddlesome friends took some of the magic out of dating. When Sua had mentioned a cute new boy in her class who was too busy studying to date, you had to admit the red flags began waving in your mind. Of course, you could relate. College was taxing and it was difficult to find time to even eat three meals, let alone date. Perhaps if things had cropped up organically, you’d have been more excited. But the forced union was a little cumbersome.
The nerves and the insecurity and the fear, none of it was especially fun. But Sua had been adamant that the two of you would hit it off, and with her eyes round and expectant, her brows raised, and her lips pouted, you really didn’t have any room to deny her. You figured one night of discomfort was better than months of guilt, and even though you figured things wouldn’t work out with this mystery man, you’d humor your friend. After all, making friends in college wasn’t easy.
Making friends in general wasn’t easy.
You sighed as you waited with your chilly hands clasped around your phone, standing at the entrance to the subway station where Sua had instructed. The mouth of the entrance was muggy with exiting passengers as the wave of people clambered up the steep stairs and onto the street, lined on all sides by buildings that reached the sky. Every now and again, someone would graze their shoulder against yours without apology, or perhaps step on the toe of your sneaker. You took a few inching steps backward, glancing over your shoulder to be sure you wouldn’t hit anyone. Not that they’d care. You backed up until you were out of the streamline and instead took up a quieter spot beside a fish cake vendor.
You checked your phone once again, furrowing your brow. Sue said eleven, didn’t she? You pulled up your messages and scrolled through carefully, head tilted to the side as you read her most recent text.
Sua: He said he’s running a little late, but he told me to tell you to wait.
You: I am waiting…
Sua: He says he’s sorry and that the subway is close to the terminal now.
You: That’s good.
Sua: He says sorry again.
Sua: You know, this is kinda dumb. Let me just give you his number so you can text him.
Sua: 51-XXX-XX24
You pursed your lips and crossed your arms over your chest. Sua was right, anyway. Making her your proxy wouldn’t really do you much good, considering she wasn’t here to help you in person. But wouldn’t it be a bit forward to just…text this guy? You didn’t know him yet. And besides, what could you say that Sua hadn’t? Hey, I’m doing this out of obligation, sorry to disappoint! or you can just go back home now and we can tell Sua things didn’t work out. You shook your head and rubbed your fingertip along the screen of your phone, working your lower lip between your teeth. You were just looking for an out. And really, you didn’t want to bail after Sua had gone through the trouble of setting things up. Still, just texting a stranger was a little…
But then again, he’d agreed to the blind date too, hadn’t he? It wasn’t like you were someone he was forced to talk to. He’d come on his own accord. Rubbing your bare forearm in the spring breeze with one hand, you used the other to tap the phone number and save it and, with only your index finger, drafted a slow message.
You: Hey, I’m Sua’s friend. I think we’re supposed to have a blind date today? Haha. That sounded kind of awkward…
Within seconds, your phone dinged with an incoming text and you jumped, nervous, before glancing at your phone once more.
Blind Date: Oh! Haha, hello. It wasn’t awkward at all. Ahh, I’m really sorry I’m late. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I bumped into a cyclist and he gave me an earful so I missed the first subway.
Blind Date: But I’m one stop away! You’re outside exit 2 right?
You: Yeah! I’m next to a fish cake stall. I’m wearing a red blouse, so you can’t miss me :-)
Damn, you thought, was that smiley face too much? You picked at the skin around your nail and glanced up to see the near-constant flow of people was still in full force, the subway exit spitting pedestrians onto the cement sidewalk in droves. You squinted a little, trying to keep a good visual on the staircase leading out. With a sigh, you leaned over your bag to slip your phone inside when it buzzed again. Despite yourself, your heart raced and you eagerly unlocked it to see if he’d responded.
Blind Date: Cute! Let’s get some fish cakes then before we go to the movie.
Blind Date: Ah, subway just pulled in! I’m only a few sweaty staircases away now~
Blind Date: :P
Without meaning to, you smiled a little. Your nerves settled as you leaned on your right foot, grinning softly at your screen. He seemed like a good guy, at least. You were relieved. After the jerks you dated in high school, you’d sworn off dating for a while. Maybe trying to cleanse your palate. It was…oddly refreshing to be talking to someone who didn’t make you feel like you weren’t all that important. Like you were disposable.
Still smiling, you responded with a simple text.
You: I’m excited to meet you :-D
“Y/N?” asked a familiar voice from beside you.
A voice that sent chills up your spine, and not the good kind.
You stiffened and turned, eyes wide, toward the one person you’d been hoping fervently to avoid for life. Standing with his big, brown eyes wide and his hair slightly windswept, Jeon Jungkook stared down at you like you were a ghost. Your lips parted and, heart hammering, you opened and closed your jaw a few times. What were you supposed to say to the boy who broke your heart when you were sixteen?
Years later and he was still the heartthrob he’d been back then, only now he looked…like a man. His cheekbones were prominent, strong jaw, heavy brow and a serious, toned build like he’d lived at the gym in the years between your meetings.
You swallowed hard and slipped your phone in your bag, crossing your arms and thus closing yourself to him. You glanced up at him with a furrowed brow. “Jungkook,” you said with a sigh. “I’m actually waiting here for someone and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, so if you could-,”
“You’re on a blind date?” asked Jungkook, lips agape.
You shrugged, glancing down the sidewalk toward the open maw of the subway exit, squinting in the hopes of catching your date’s attention. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Wait, but-,”
You sighed and shut him up with a single look his way, sharp, venomous. “I’m gonna to wait someplace else if you’re gonna keep standing beside me.”
“No, it’s not-,”
You huffed and shuffled into the crowd once more, walking purposefully away from him, but Jungkook was hot on your tail and wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Every few paces, you’d glance over your shoulder and see him following you feverishly, angling himself through the narrow spaces between bodies. But you kept going, pushing through, until you were blocks away from the subway station and Jungkook was nowhere to be seen.
You exhaled long and slow, patting your chest to calm down, and veered off toward the shops on your right, taking cover beneath an awning. Something in your bag vibrated and you jumped. Shit. Your date. The spring day sun was warm on your hands as you fumbled with your bag, grabbing your phone once again.
Blind Date: Where did you go??
You gripped your nose bridge and exhaled through your nose. Of course he’d be confused. You were lucky he was nice enough to reach out at all after seeing you weren’t where you said you’d be. You typed your reply quickly, desperate not to hurt his feelings.
You: God, I’m SO sorry. I ran into someone…from a long time ago lol. I couldn’t shake him off, so I ended up down the street a few blocks. By a Burger King.
You: I’m making a really bad impression, huh? I’m sorry. Just…he’s the LAST person I wanted to see today, you know?
You: Or…well, ever haha.
You awaited a response with bated breath, brows knit, and chewed on the inside of your cheek. This blind date was a wild card, really. Since you didn’t know him yet, you didn’t know how he’d respond. And it wouldn’t be his fault if he decided you weren’t worth all the hassle. Honestly, you might’ve been a little relieved if that was the case. Running into Jungkook…it made you remember why you avoided dating.
But despite your expectations, your phone buzzed again and you jumped to grab it.
Blind Date: This person…you really didn’t want to see him?
You: No. It’s just a painful reminder of the past.
You: !!! God, I keep saying awkward things !!! Haha, please forget I said anything. Where are you?
Blind Date: No! It’s not awkward at all. I’m just…
Blind Date: I’m sorry you had to see him then, I guess.
You: Jeez…
You: You’re a really nice guy, aren’t you?
Blind Date: Haha! I don’t know about that…
Blind Date: How about we reschedule for another time? I get the feeling you wouldn’t really be up for a movie right now anyway.
You panicked, heart kicking up. Despite everything you told yourself, you were a little bit happy he was being so understanding. And even though you were scared, you wanted to see if…well…if maybe this guy might be different.
You shook your head. Of course you shouldn’t think that way. Putting your heart out there to be toyed with and thrown aside…you didn’t want to go through it. Not really. And what relationship could be worth all that? You sucked in your breath and typed a quick response, ready to cast Jungkook and this blind date into the banks of your memory to gather dust. Even if this guy did seem sweet…
So had Jungkook, at first.
You: Yeah. That’s probably for the best. I work at that coffeeshop on campus, so I’ll shoot you a text once I get my schedule. :-)
You: I’m sorry for all the trouble today. Seriously.
You sighed and turned on your heel toward the street. If you kept on this sidewalk for a few more blocks, you’d find exit 3. And from there, it was only a 20-minute subway ride home whereupon you could finally collapse on your couch and wait for this cursed weekend to be over.
But before you could take a single step, a text came.
Blind Date: It was no trouble. :D I just feel bad that you had an unpleasant experience…
You: Hey, it’s not your fault haha.
You: Oh yeah! I never gave you my name, did I?
Blind Date: No, actually. Haha.
You: It’s Y/N.
Blind Date: It’s nice to meet you again, Y/N.
Blind Date: You can call me Nochu.
You: … Nochu … ?
Blind Date: Haha, it’s weird huh?
Blind Date: It’s a nickname I prefer.
You: Ah! I see. I’ll call you that then.
You: Nochu.
Blind Date: Y/N :-)
You stood and placed your hands on your lower back and stretched, groaning, a week later. Classes had been dragging lately and with several coworkers sick with a cold, you were one of the only employees left who wasn’t too ill to work. Your body felt like it was slowly failing you. Even your feet were sore from constantly running from place to place. And the quiet coffee shop before you made you feel like taking a long and well-needed nap. Mismatched chairs and bistro tables littered the trendy place and students congregated around the windows or the fireplace or the used bookshelf. Nobody really bothered you except to order or ask for to-go coffee sleeves. Mostly, you just stood there. For hours. Watching everything and nothing at once.
But today the energy was a little different. You’d heard from Sua that the graphic design students were approaching an important deadline, and from the looks of the crowd it seemed that deadline was heavy on everyone’s minds. Laptops and drawing tablets and plenty of coffee littered the tables as students chatted in small groups, none of them looking all too happy. You wondered what the project was, but didn’t want to bother Sua with a useless question. So instead, you just watched over customer’s shoulders as they added thick white lines to separate sections of illustrations or grabbed whole images with slender styluses and slid them to new spaces.
“Excuse me?”
You jumped and turned to the queue which up until moments ago had been completely empty. You made sure to manage your expression with a tight smile and bowed your head. “Sorry,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes to meet the customer.
And, to your shock and horror, you saw a familiar face amongst the group of thee college-aged boys. Jeon Jungkook stood in the middle, a half-pace behind the guy who had roused your attention, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was just as horrified to see you as you were to see him. You felt your back go perfectly straight, eyes wide and lips parted through which only shallow exhales escaped. Your palms grew sweaty and your heart thump-thumped to an uneven cadence.
“Um, what can I make for you?” you asked finally, managing a tight smile at the speaker of the group whose attention was affixed to the sign above your head, reading the menu with squinted eyes. “If you need more time…,” you hedged, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze which you felt burning circles into your face.
“Ah, no I’ve got it,” said the first guy with a polite smile your way. “I’ll have a green tea latte.”
You nodded and wrote it down on your notepad, just to keep things straight. Had your coworkers been stronger in their constitution, you’d have given the order to one of them to get started on. Perhaps you’d even get started yourself and leave the cashiering to them. But alas, you were alone and painfully aware of it.
“Will you be paying separately or together?” you asked, a tinge of hope in your voice. Please say together, please say together, please say together, you thought over and over, like an endless mantra.
The first boy chuckled and gave Jungkook’s shoulder a firm punch. “Like I’ll pay for these good-for-nothings,” he joked before returning his attention to you, smiling. He had a kind smile, but even that did little to ease your anxieties. You simply nodded and took his card as he stretched it out toward you.
The second guy approached, another brown-haired college kid with a polite grin and baggy spring clothes, and hummed. “I’ll do the caramel macchiato,” he said with a nod, fingers still clasping his chin as he scanned the menu and you scribbled his order. “Ah!” he said, pointing at you. You jumped, still on edge with adrenaline coursing through you, but quickly settled with a smile. “And a slice of banana bread.”
“Banana bread,” you mumbled to yourself as you wrote it. “Okay.”
The second handed you a credit card which you swiped quickly, eager to get this whole encounter over with. He took it back with a bow and a smile which you struggled to return because the moment you glanced over his shoulder you caught Jungkook’s gaze, intense, warm browns peering at you like you held answers he’d been searching for. Despite yourself, you blushed and glanced back toward your notepad.
Finally, the moment of reckoning arrived and your nerves made your hands a little shaky as they clasped the pen and paper. Your eyes wavered around the space between your own hands, measuring the empty air, desperate not to look at Jungkook again.
“Um…,” he mumbled, voice a low rumble in his chest. You almost wanted to squeeze your eyes shut altogether, even though you knew how dumb that’d make you look. “Can I get a strawberry smoothie?”
You almost laughed. It was so like him to come to a coffeeshop and order something like that. It was so like him to still have a weak palate when it came to bitter things. It was so like him to chase after you that day, to show up here on coincidence. It was so like him to be exactly who you remembered him to be. Exactly who he was back then.
Slowly, once you’d written his order down, you lifted your eyes and looked at him properly at last. He was dressed well, casual as you expected, all black as you expected, handsome as you expected. His hair was half-styled out of his eyes, and those eyes were the problem really. Dark and depthless, staring down at you with furrowed brow, jaw clenched. If anyone had doubts you two knew each other before, they’d certainly know now with the way he was watching you. The way he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for even a second.
“That’s all?” you asked.
“Um…yeah,” he responded, blinking at you like he had more to say.
By then, his friends had begun setting up camp amongst the mismatched sofas and recliners, setting up their computers. You caught sight of a drawing tablet as its corner poked out the top of the first boy’s backpack. So they were design majors too? Maybe your blind date had met one of these guys, then. But wait. If his friends were, did that mean…
“You’re a design major?” you asked, unable to stop yourself.
But once you said it, you wished to suck the words back inside like tapioca balls through a straw because across Jungkook’s face flashed a brief glimmer of excitement, eyes wide, mouth already open and poised to respond.
“Yeah!” he said, smiling a little. “I…uh, well you remember how I liked to draw.”
You nodded, typing the total into your cash register. “Yeah, I remember.”
“Listen, Y/N, I’m really sorry about-,”
“Let’s not rehash things here,” you said, eyeing him from beneath your lashes, scanning the shop like a conspirator in search of any prying eyes, any listening ears. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve both moved on so let’s just keep it at that.”
Jungkook shut his mouth and, after a long moment, sighed. “Alright,” he said, sounding defeated. You hazarded a glance up at him and found his eyes long-sighted, gazing down at the counter between you without really looking at it.
“It’ll be 3,500 won,” you said, holding out one hand towards him.
He blinked and shook his head a little, as if returning to himself, and yanked his wallet from the front pocket of his loose joggers. He pulled out a bill and handed it to you. 20,000. Was that the smallest bill he had on him? You examined it with a thinly-veiled scowl. Of course, he was probably making good money doing something impressive. That was Jungkook anyway. The type of guy who just…made things come to him. Like the universe responded to his will. You sighed and went to work on the old register, punching in the amount and sliding the bill inside. You produced his change to find him already bounding toward his friends with his broad back to you.
Panicked, you rushed to the side of the barista station and called out to him. “Hey! You forgot your change!” you shouted, cupping one hand around your mouth. A few patrons turned to look at you and Jungkook.
He barely glanced back at you when he said, “You can keep it.”
And suddenly you were blushing for a very different reason.
That jerk, you thought to yourself as you watched him plug away at some ad he was working on on his tablet. Evening had fallen slowly upon the city of Seoul, and you wanted nothing more than to stroll out into the lavender evening, forgetting this whole unpleasant day. But instead, you had to wait for your coworker, Sora, to relieve you after making you work fifteen minutes past the end of your shift. Scowling, you kept a hawk’s eye on Jungkook and, unbeknownst to him, wished silent curses upon his head. I hope you go bald, you thought. Or worse, I hope you go out for fried chicken and you get only tendons. You crossed your arms and lolled your head to the side.
You shouldn’t have expected Jungkook to change. He’d always been a ‘my pace’ kind of guy. Maybe leaving that tip was his way of flexing his money to you. That he had enough money to just throw around at random baristas he used to hook up with in high school. Or maybe he was pitying you, looking down on you for working such a menial job. Either way, it made your blood boil. You felt the money crinkle in the pocket of your jeans with every step.
You’d briefly considered spitting in his smoothie, but you didn’t want to lose your job over Jeon Jungkook.
After all, you’d already lost your youth to the kid.
You glanced outside and watched the rainclouds gathering. Of course, you’d forgotten to bring an umbrella. It wasn’t like you’d checked the weather on the way out. Grumpily, you glanced down at your phone to check the time. Twenty minutes late now. What did Sora have to do that was so important? Normally, you’d complain to a friend. But Sua was about the closest you had these days and you weren’t sure you could trouble her with it.
But…were you really friends if you didn’t reach out to her from time to time?
Sighing, you glanced around the shop, making sure nobody was watching you, and unlocked your phone. So much had already happened that a quick message didn’t seem reasonable, but you couldn’t very well bury your head in your phone so after every few clicks you’d sweep your gaze around. You settled for an anxious few words between nervous glances at the rest of the shop. Realistically, you were off the clock anyway. But you didn’t want any bad Yelp reviews on your behalf.
You: Sua, on God today is cursed.
You waited a few moments for a response before growing impatient. Everything was taking forever today: that interaction with Jungkook, Sora taking over your shift, and now Sua not responding. Of course, she had no obligation to. She was probably busy with her own preparation much like the other graphic design students. You had no right to expect that of her.
Wasn’t that your problem from the start? Expecting too much?
Your phone buzzed in response as your mind began to drift toward melancholy thoughts and as you slid it open your eyes went wide and your fingertips chilled as the blood rushed to your cheeks.
Blind Date: Hah…I’m not Sua, but I am willing to listen if you need it…?
Blind Date: Was wondering when I’d hear from you.
Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You cupped a hand over your lips in horror, and just as you were about to melt into a pile of melted pride on the floor, the door swung open and a breathless Sora met your eyes with a nervous smile. You swallowed hard and pocketed your phone, offering Sora your full attention. He bowed his head to you, bending at the waist, as he approached the counter.
“I am so sorry for being late!” he shouted, loud enough for every patron to glance at him and, subsequently, you.
Your flushed face went beet red as Jungkook turned to stare at you, eyes wide. Of course, another embarrassing moment in front of that guy. “U-um, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you said, waving your hands.
He sniffled and looked up at you, eyes red with impending tears. “I really didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep after class today and-,”
“Sora, it’s cool,” you said, removing your apron and hanging it on the rack behind you. “I’m gonna go now though so I can catch my subway.”
Sora stiffened and nodded, giving you a salute before scampering behind the counter and putting on his own apron. “I really am sorry!” he called after you.
You waved a hand and rushed out onto the sidewalk, lingering beneath the awning as the rain began to drizzle from overhead. You returned your attention to your phone, pushing your hair behind your ears so you could see properly, and swallowed your nerves.
You: I…am such an idiot.
You: I’m so sorry. I was at work and I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I just…
You: Jesus, honestly you can just delete my number. I don’t think I can look at your contact anymore without cringing.
You were poised to take a step out into the rain when your phone vibrated again and you jumped to read it with barely shaking hands.
Blind Date: No! It’s okay. Seriously.
Blind Date: I can list dumber things I’ve done today alone.
Blind Date: Besides, sounds like you need someone to talk to anyway…?
You blinked at your phone screen a few times, cocking your head to the side. Somehow, his words had calmed you down, just a little. Your flaming cheeks were cooler now when you poked one with the pad of your finger. Your heart wasn’t a hammer against your ribcage. And as you glanced over your shoulder at the window into the coffeeshop, you found Jungkook was no longer in sight. With a few texts alone, things seemed a little better.
You: I won’t bore you with all of it, haha.
You: It was more of a Sua story anyway I think.
You: I’m trying to break through that kinda hesitant first stage of friendship with her and
You: Well anyway, I’m sorry to bother you. Hope you’re doing good?
Blind Date: Haha, hey I get it. Friendships are weird. Took me a while to make any real friends this year since I was so shy.
You: You were shy?
Blind Date: Oh big time. I still don’t really know how to approach people without saying or doing something wrong.
Blind Date: Like today. I think I came across like an asshole to someone.
Blind Date: That happens a lot actually -_-
Blind Date: Being nervous makes me act weird.
You: Really? You sound really confident over text.
Blind Date: Haha really? That’s good to hear at least.
Blind Date: I’m about the least confident person I know.
Blind Date: Whew, not exactly the impression I wanted to give to a possible date! Oops.
You smiled at your phone and began typing out a response when the door by your hip swung open and out walked Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook caught your eye as your smile was slipping into a scowl and you quickly righted yourself, looking away down the busy street. You held your phone close to your chest and popped a hip out to the side, feigning disinterest.
“See you guys tomorrow,” said one boy.
“Yeah,” responded Jungkook, and you saw out the corner of your eye that the guys parted ways. Jungkook lingered beside you underneath the awning, watching you keenly. “Who were you texting?” he asked.
You stiffened and glanced up at him with a frown. “Is that any of your business?” you asked.
He flushed a little, rubbed the back of his head, and let out a few breathy laughs. “Sorry. Guess not,” he said with a sigh.
For a few moments the two of you just stood there, silent. You weren’t sure what to do next without an umbrella, and you didn’t want Jungkook to think you were just…spending time with him for fun. But still, you didn’t move or make a sound. Just watched the steadily increasing rainfall splatter against the pavement, gathering in pools beside the sidewalk.
“Listen,” he began, turning to you properly. You eyed him from below with raised brows. “I really don’t want any bad energy between us, okay? I know things were messy before, but we’re in college now. It’s been years, right?” Some of the tension between you broke, but it was quickly replaced by a new tension: your outrage.
You blinked at him, working your jaw. “Jungkook, you don’t get to tell me when I’m allowed to stop being hurt,” you said, shaking your head. “Seeing you is a little painful, even though it’s been a long time. So…maybe just ignore me.”
Jungkook sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Y/N. You know I am.”
You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t really want anything to do with you,” you said, meeting his eyes. Your own calm surprised you. He looked desperate, brows knit and lips parted. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to just leave me alone.”
He blinked a few times, eyes wide. “I…I mean, we go to the same school now and everything. I just transferred this year and it’s…I don’t really know many people. It’s not like we’re strangers, so why should we act like we are?”
You swallowed your anger. “I’m gonna go now,” you said, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking out into the rain. You turned to look at him. “I don’t think you get what I’m saying, so it’s not worth repeating it again in a different way. Just…leave me alone.”
But before you could take a single step toward the subway entrance three blocks away, Jungkook was beside you in the rain, fiddling with his umbrella. “Wh-what are you doing? I just said to leave me alone!” you called at him over the sound of the rain around you.
Jungkook spat rainwater out from between his lips and shook his head as the umbrella finally popped open and the rain stopped pummeling you, now ricocheting off the nylon. You stared up at Jungkook underneath the dark umbrella, confined beneath it, confined to this small, enclosed space. Your chest was nearly touching his arm and his breath was warm as it fanned across your face. Strawberries. Like his smoothie. Rain was caught in his long eyelashes and his rosy lips were still parted, cheeks a warm pink. He stared down at you and for a brief moment, you felt a hot, shooting sensation running from the top of your head to your toes.
“Let me walk you to the station at least,” he said, scanning you.
You felt a little faint, and the sweet scent of his cologne only made you more disoriented. “I’m fine. It’s only a few blocks,” you said, but even you could admit your voice sounded weak.
He sighed, eyes falling to the ground. “I know I hurt you a lot back then, but…,” he began, then shook his head. “Even if it’s small, I wanna make it up to you somehow. So…let me walk you.”
You rubbed your bare forearm and inhaled sharply, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Fine,” you forced out and the two of you began walking.
“So…,” said Jungkook after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “How was your date the other day?”
You groaned. “What we’re not gonna do is this.”
Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Just curious.”
You watched your hands, clasped in front of you, and sighed. “It didn’t happen,” you said. If nothing else, at least your time with Jungkook made you remarkably comfortable talking to him about your thoughts and feelings. “We cancelled.”
“Why?” he asked, brows high.
You shrugged. “After seeing you, I was kinda crabby so…”
“It was my fault?” He pointed with his free hand to his own chest, eyes wide.
“I mean, yeah but not really,” you said with an easy exhale. “It’s for the best anyway. He seems like a really nice guy. I don’t wanna end up hurting his feelings or something.”
“You’d rather be alone than risk having things end badly?” he asked.
You peered up at him. “Wonder why that is,” you mumbled before glancing away.
He sighed. “Sorry.”
“Mhm.”
The rest of the walk was silent as the two of you were forced to simply live with the words you’d exchanged, unable to do anything to alter the events that led you here. All you could do was walk forward, united under a shared umbrella for just a moment, until you ducked out from beneath it and disappeared down the subway station stairs, not even pausing for a moment to wave or say goodbye.
Blind Date: Yikes, did I really scare you off?
You raised your brows at your phone screen as the subway bumped along. It was too crowded to find a seat, so you stood cramped between a stout businessman and a high school girl, all of you holding the railing overhead for stability. You couldn’t help it, but again you smiled. After all the craziness that had come from the day, this stranger seemed to help you feel at ease.
You: Haha nope! It’d take more than that.
You: I bumped into someone I didn’t want to see, so I had to take care of that.
Blind Date: !!! Same person as before??
You: Yeah, if you can believe it lol.
Blind Date: (o_O)
Blind Date: How unlucky can a person be?
You: That’s what I’m saying. (¬_¬;)
You: That’s actually one of the things I was gonna complain to Sua about.
You: Y’know, teenage heartbreak and high school angst. Etc.
Blind Date: Hey, I said it before. I’d love to listen!
Blind Date: Aight, that was too enthusiastic. How about: I wouldn’t mind hearing you out!
You: Lol, good addendum.
You: I mean, it’s not like it’s really that serious. Just…in high school I was really shy. I didn’t have very many friends and I thought that I was fine on my own, you know?
You: But I guess I was lonelier than I thought haha. There was this really handsome guy in my class who started sitting with me on the roof at lunch. At first, neither of us really said anything. Just…sitting together.
You: But after a while, we got pretty close. Half a school year maybe. He said he came up there because the air was nice, but I had a feeling it had to do with the fact that he was a little too popular for his own good. Everyone wanted to talk to him. But he was like me.
You: Introverted, I mean.
Blind Date: Sounds like you two were good friends, then?
You: Yeah, until I caught feelings lol. Mistake.
Blind Date: You confessed??
You: Hehe…yes.
You: After a while being close, I felt really comfortable telling him anything. I told him it wasn’t like I was expecting him to date me or anything. I just wanted him to know so he could be a little more careful around me.
You: But it seemed like he reciprocated.
You: We started dating…I guess?
You: Never put a label on it, which was another mistake on my part for not asking.
You: But we did everything couples did, just…not really in front of anyone from school.
You: Never asked about that either lol.
Blind Date: Oh…
Blind Date: I mean…that doesn’t sound so good…
You: Haha, it’s probably exactly what it sounds like because once we’d been together for about a year, he ended things really suddenly. We were getting ready to apply for colleges and he was gonna go for one in a different city. He said it wouldn’t work out.
You: I fought really hard for it, but he started saying pretty mean things and I didn’t want to get hurt so I ended up conceding.
Blind Date: Mean things?
You: Things I don’t really wanna type out haha…
Blind Date: Shit! Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.
You: Hey, don’t worry! Old wounds. I should probably get over it, really.
You: No time like the present!
You: He said he never really liked me and he was only with me because he felt bad for me. Didn’t really love hearing that.
You: He said because I didn’t have friends, he pitied me. That was why he went to the roof to eat with me. Why he kissed me and all that. Took me on dates. ┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌ Pretty dumb, imo, but that’s what he said and it seemed like he meant it anyway lol.
Blind Date: Y/N…
You: Hey, you asked!
Blind Date: That’s really shitty. You didn’t deserve that.
Blind Date: You carried that around with you all these years?
You: Hah, admitting it sounds kinda pathetic, huh?
You: I guess it’s not the sort of thing you just…get over. I think I really loved him too, so…
You: Anyway, seeing him now is really weird. Never thought I’d see him around here again, but suddenly he’s everywhere haha. Definitely doesn’t feel great, tbh.
You: Ew, sorry for laying all that on you. Not exactly small talk.
Blind Date: No!! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you talked to me about it. Honestly…I feel really sorry for you. It sounds like the whole thing affected you a lot. :-(
Blind Date: If it makes you feel better, I think I can understand you a little!
Blind Date: Like I said, I’m a bit shy myself. It’s not an issue of having friends, but finding good ones. It’s hard for me to socialize without saying something dumb and regretting it. So for a while, when I first started college, I isolated myself a lot. I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?
Blind Date: But recently, I’ve met some people who are really kind. People who don’t judge me when I mess things up (which is often haha). They help me communicate better.
You: You communicate really well, I think :-)
Blind Date: Haha, thank you. I’m actually blushing a little, whew. Uh, I guess it’s because it’s easier to type things out. Speaking is hard because you can’t just reword things before sending them. You say it out loud and it’s forever, you know?
You: Yeah! Jeez, that actually happened to me today (—_—)
You: I’m glad someone else understands it lol
Blind Date: Yeah, me too.
By the time you received the last message, you were already back inside your apartment, soaked from the walk home. You’d used your bag to cover your phone as you walked and typed, so now the thing was slumped against your dining chair like a sopping wet creature. But still, you smiled at your phone. Even though the conversation with Jungkook had been jarring, you’d almost forgotten it after chatting with your blind date. It felt oddly vulnerable to reveal so much to him, but his reaction had been really reassuring. You set your phone aside and padded to the bathroom to dry yourself a little with a towel, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks were a little flushed, eyes clear, and still smiling. You shook your head, trying to shake off your grin, but when you glanced back at your reflection it was still the same.
With the towel dangling across your shoulders, you returned to the living room and saw your phone lit up with another new text. Smiling, you unlocked it and read what he had to say.
Blind Date: Off topic, but uh…
Blind Date: Did you happen to catch the most recent episode of Game of Thrones?
Blind Date: Because I need to talk about it or I might explode.
You raised your brows and, without meaning to, you laughed. Was this okay? Was it alright to become close to someone like this again? Was it alright to be excited about someone again? You were fearful, cautious, hesitant. After everything with Jungkook, you’d found it impossible to trust people’s intentions. Were they being nice to you because they liked you or because they felt bad for you? Would you get hurt if you trusted the goodwill of the people around you?
You: Um…
You: CAN WE TALK ABOUT ARYA???
You weren’t going to talk to him again.
Well…that was your intention anyway. But by Friday, you’d spent every night up late chatting with this Nochu guy. It wasn’t like you talked about anything all that interesting or profound. Music you liked, games you played, anime you watched. You’d spent the better portion of Thursday night talking about whether Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was superior. You weren’t sure why you were compelled to respond every time his name lit up your phone. And you really weren’t sure why you were the one reaching out to him now as you sat watching your professor detail the process of molecular movement across a cell membrane.
Perhaps you’d missed making easy conversation with someone you liked talking to…
After high school, you’d become something of a recluse. You spent more nights in than out and despite doing well in your classes, you’d found yourself…slightly lonesome. That’s why when Sua gave you her number after you’d successfully finished a project together a few months ago, you’d been quick to take it. Even though it was a little scary, some small part of you wanted to trust people again.
And maybe that’s why too. Why you were sending this stupid text in the middle of your lecture.
You: Hey dude. You free today?
Blind Date: Hm? Why?
You: Idk, Burger King or smth?
Blind Date: Hehe, are you trying to revive our dead romance?
You: O.O Our romance died already? After one failed date?
Blind Date: Hahaha I mean…you can try giving it CPR if you want…?
Blind Date: Mouth-to-mouth ;-D
You: Yuck, I take it back. Our romance is dead and buried.
You: Anyway, you free?
Blind Date: Uh yeah probs later. I’ve got class until 4.
Blind Date: Does that work for your Burger King plan?
Blind Date: I know it’s hard to get a reservation at that place on short notice >.<
You: I take it all back.
You: I have plans tonight, soz.
You: Talk to ya later, weeb.
You smiled and set your phone down beside your notebook, refocusing on your professor. But your attention was quickly assuaged by your phone vibrating once more. You smirked down at it and, covertly, read the slew of oncoming text messages with a chuckle.
Blind Date: !!! That’s rude !!!
Blind Date: You can’t just offer a Burger King date and snatch it out from under me like that.
Blind Date: I’ll be mad if you jerk me around >:-(
Blind Date: You see that face? I mean BUSINESS.
You: Calm down lol, I was kidding.
You: Let’s meet at the Burger King next to the ramen place near campus?
Blind Date: Hehe, sounds good :-P
Blind Date: Ah, but don’t be too surprised when you meet me, okay?
Blind Date: I don’t want you fainting when you see my handsome face 8-)
You: Mhm, I’ll be sure not to faint.
Blind Date: I mean…a little fainting is fine…
You: Haha shut up. I’ll see you there. Looking forward to putting a face to the texts!
Blind Date: Hopefully my face doesn’t disappoint lol.
You: Yikes, mine either.
Blind Date: Yours won’t.
Blind Date: Haha, I’m sure you’ll look great. That’s what I meant.
Blind Date: Ew, all of that was hard to read. Forget I said anything hhhhhh.
You smiled fondly at your phone before sliding it into your bag. “You look kinda smitten,” said Sua from beside you.
You jumped and glanced at her as the rest of the class began packing up. She was grinning at you like a co-conspirator, brows low, knowing grin on her face. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been texting someone named Blind Date during every class period for a week,” she said, cocking a brow. “I take it you guys hit it off?”
You felt yourself go warm. Not like with Jungkook the other day, but like something else. Something a little deeper than a physical reaction. Nonetheless, you cleared your throat and smiled at Sua. “He’s a good guy. I think we could be good friends.”
“Friends?” she asked with a laugh, flitting her hand as the two of you stood together. “Sounds boring. Get a smooch or two out of it or it’s a bust.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t really know if he’d be interested in me that way.”
“What about you?” she asked, eyeing you. “Would you be interested?”
You stared at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and opened and shut your mouth a few times. “I…,” you began, then glanced at your feet. You followed her out into the hallway where students hurried by in a flash beside you. “I mean…”
Sua paused her walking to stare back at you, her teasing grin replaced with a genuine one. “Wait, do you actually like him-like him?” she asked, eyes alight.
You stiffened, scratching your arm, and sighed. “Jeez, I don’t know! Maybe,” you said, waving your hands. “Forget it, I’ve got another class soon.”
She laughed as you maneuvered around her through the hall, calling after you. “You’re cute when you’ve got a crush!”
You sat at a booth by yourself at Burger King, waiting for your not-date to show up. It had only been a few minutes and already your anxiety was starting to speak in your ear. He’s not showing up, it whispered, You’re an idiot. And maybe you were. Looking around the fast food joint, you saw more than a few couples, sitting side-by-side or gazing at each other over fried chicken. You didn’t envy them. Not that way. Just…maybe it was the human connection you missed more than anything. Last time you’d been in this situation, you were still deeply in love with Jeon Jungkook.
You were sixteen and you sat twiddling your thumbs on a suburban bench overlooking Seoul. Trees swayed in the summer breeze and carried with them the scent of young hopefulness, naivety in the form of dogwood blossoms. You watched the uneven cityscape before you as it resisted the pull of the wind, and far in the distance, slightly glittering in the sunlight, the Han River. Jungkook had said he’d be there at exactly two. It was ten past, and you were getting a little nervous. You’d confessed not a week prior during the last week of school, and to your shock Jungkook had been receptive. He hadn’t said anything bold like ‘I like you too’ or ‘let’s date’ but he had invited you out for some ice cream and you figured that was much the same thing for him.
Maybe he’s just being nice, you thought to yourself with a sigh. You’d spent a long time picking out the right outfit, getting your hair to lay just right. And still, you didn’t feel quite up to par with him. Girls were always confessing their love for him. Guys too. What made you any different than the dozens of other hopefuls? He probably won’t come…
“Y/N!” called a voice from the winding, hilly street.
You jumped and turned, and your heart swelled as you saw Jungkook running down the sidewalk toward you, grinning from ear to ear. And that was what did you in. That sincerity, that vigor, that enthusiasm…all for you. You stood up to meet him and chuckled as he caught his breath, patting his chest.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said, panting. “My mom started lecturing me, so I got tied up.” After a few moments regaining his composure, he finally looked at you properly and when he did, you noticed his cheeks going red hot, eyes round. “Oh, wow,” he said, glancing away with a jittery laugh. “S-Sorry, you…you look really nice.”
You felt a little faint. You’d spent months pining after this kid, pining after this purity you kept glimpsing in him, and now…
He was saying you looked nice.
It was almost enough to knock the breath out of you.
You smiled at your shoes and rubbed your neck. “Th-thank you,” you said.
He laughed, nervous once more, and gave your shoulder a shove. “Hey, don’t get all clammy on me, okay? Nothing’s weird between us. Just…two pals…on a date.”
You jumped and stared up at him with unbridled surprise. “Date?” you asked, shameless hope in your voice.
He laughed, eyes turning to crescents, and nodded. “What else would it be?” Of course. Of course, since it was Jungkook, the answer was just that simple, wasn’t it?
You swallowed hard and tried to manage your expression, but you couldn’t fight the smile teasing your lips. “Oh,” you said, letting out a breathy laugh.
He examined you for a moment, scanning you. You weren’t used to going out with friends, let alone dating. All of this was new and exhilarating to you. But you felt a sudden wave of shyness that you couldn’t fight off, and a slightly pleasant self-consciousness. You felt him looking at you, and it didn’t feel like he hated looking. You became very aware of your body, each limb, each finger. Still smiling a little, you laughed again, unsure of what else to do. These were uncharted waters, after all.
“Hm,” he said, bending down to meet your eyes. You blushed and leaned away a little, but he was blushing too and it made you feel better knowing perhaps he was just as nervous as you. “Lemme prove it.”
Your eyes went wide, but before you could say or do anything, Jungkook closed the distance between you, tipping his chin so that your lips met. His lips were warm and soft. They tasted like chapstick and banana milk. You didn’t move, not a single muscle, and perhaps this worried him because he was quick to lean away and stare down at you, fresh insecurity on display in his warm brown eyes.
“Sorry! Was that too sudden?” he asked, laughing and glancing away, down the quiet street. “Jeez, I got carried away, huh? Ha, I’m sorry.”
Before he could spiral, you took a timid step forward and pushed yourself onto your toes. Gently, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself nearer to him. He jumped and looked at you with stunned eyes. But you didn’t give him a chance to think too much, because before long you were kissing him, head tilted to the side, eyes shut. Without much pause, his hands found your waist and stayed there, respectful, unsure.
And somehow, you’d summoned the courage to do it. To kiss him back.
Because he showed up, after all.
He didn’t leave you alone…
Fifteen minutes now and you were beginning to worry. You reasoned that at least there were worse places to be stood up. A nice steakhouse, for instance. At least here you weren’t the only solo diner. But nonetheless, the feeling of a deep gut-punch was only growing. Dread and disappointment mingled into a bitter cocktail in the pit of your stomach. Wouldn’t this just be…poetic? Getting stood up for your first date after years of fear and emotional isolation?
Wouldn’t that be exactly what would happen?
Thirty minutes. At first, you tried to tell yourself he was probably just running late from a class. After all, the walk from campus alone was around seven minutes. Maybe he’d gotten released late. Maybe he’d gotten held up with a professor or classmate. You stared at your Whopper with dead eyes now, watching the cold burger as all the heat drained from it. It was too late to save it now. And perhaps it had never been meant for you to eat anyway. Maybe it was your destiny to become a vegetarian or something.
Nonetheless, you sent a text.
Even though it felt pathetic.
You: Hey, uh…we still on for Burger King?
You: No rush, haha.
You: Just a little worried…
Was this revenge for ruining the first date? Some elaborate plot to get back at you? He seemed like a really sweet guy, but so had Jungkook after all. After several minutes without a reply, you began to accept the fact that you’d been thoroughly stood up. Your throat constricted, eyes going a little hazy, and resolved to wait a little longer. Just a little.
Forty-eight minutes. No reply and no date. By then, plenty of customers had come and gone through the front doors, none of them him. You couldn’t bring yourself to take even one bite of food, the money wasted, the time wasted too. How much time had you wasted, really? How much of your life had you spent watering dead plants?
When Jungkook told you he wanted to break up, you’d been in disbelief. The two of you were close, so close it almost hurt, and the sudden end felt like a slap in the face or a jolt to the heart. You’d fought him in his room that night, the sunset turning the ends of his hair gold, turning his eyes gold too. He had no right being so handsome at a moment like that. You asked for a reason and he said he didn’t want any strings going in to college. He wanted to be unaffiliated. But you couldn’t accept that. You couldn’t accept that the time you spent together had meant so little to him, that the relationship was a dead plant from the start.
I was only dating you because I felt bad for you! he’d shouted once he’d had enough. Ever wonder why I never told anyone about us?! You’d been stunned then, stunned silent. Your brain was failing to process his words. He’d never spoken that way to you before. How much time had you spent in love? How much time had he spent pitying you? I was your only friend, for God’s sake! What did you expect me to do?!
Perhaps you’d been right after all. Perhaps giving yourself to other people was too dangerous, too painful. Perhaps loving someone wasn’t worth it, perhaps it could never be completely reciprocal. Perhaps any relationship you had would be a waste of time. Perhaps all you were destined to do was water dead plants until finally, you decided it was enough.
One hour. You stood up from your seat, wiped beneath your eyes as the tears you’d been fighting finally crested over your bottom eyelid, and carried your tray to the garbage. You slid your trash into the bin and, sniffling, wandered out toward the exit. Customers avoided walking too close to you, likely noticing the tears that were now tracking stubbornly down your cheeks. You would have wiped them, had you had the energy to care.
But all you wanted was to go home and be alone.
Alone for a while.
You pushed your way outside, taking in the fresh spring day. No more rain, even though you would have welcomed it. It could have concealed your crying, your red nose and swelling eyes. You could have cowered beneath a bus stop and nobody would have noticed you. Nobody would have noticed.
Instead, the spring day was gorgeous, teasingly beautiful. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, and people milled about through the street, smiling and chatting easily. Sniffling, you wiped your nose and joined them, walking down the sidewalk toward the subway entrance near campus.
You were overreacting. You didn’t even know this guy that well yet. He wasn’t a boyfriend, he wasn’t someone you’d given your whole heart to. He hadn’t betrayed you, because deep down you’d expected this. Maybe that’s what upset you so much. Being proven right.
You exited the crowd of people a block from the Burger King and walked with your head down toward the subway entrance. You were about to step on to the escalator when you heard someone call your name.
“Y/N!”
You turned slowly, eyes bleary from all the crying, and rubbed your tears away to see them clearly. Again, like he had some sort of sense for when you were most humiliated, Jungkook stepped toward you. His face was contorted in worry, thick brows knit, mouth agape as he stared down at you, scanning you.
You sniffled and nodded. “What?” you asked.
“What are you doing?” he asked softly, taking you by the crook of the arm and leading you toward a more sparsely populated alley beside the sidewalk. You didn’t fight. Didn’t have it in you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his own eyes watery as he looked down at you, forcing your head up as he held it between two big, warm hands.
You kept your gaze on the dirty ground. “Let me go,” you said, but it was weak.
“Y/N…,” he whispered, smoothing his thumb against your cheek. “Jesus.”
“What?” you asked, looking at him quick, fierce. “Are you pitying me?”
His eyes went wide and he shook his head. Looking at him now, he seemed pretty shaken himself. Why did the two of you keep bumping into each other like this? “No! No, that’s not it.”
“Then what?” you asked, shaking his hands off your face. “What is it, huh? Here to show off your money? Show me how good you’re doing while I’m working minimum wage? Huh? Do you like feeling superior?”
He swallowed hard, his expression revealing some sort of hurt you couldn’t name. “No! Please, it’s not that! Let me explain-,”
“No! You don’t have any right to ask me to listen to you!” you said, sobbing. You wiped your eyes with your forearm and shook your head. “Just leave me alone! Everyone!” you shouted.
Jungkook took your shoulders in his hands to keep you still and you tried a few times to shake yourself free, but to no avail. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
You kept crying, the ancient pain welling up from inside you like some age-old reserve finally erupting. Your body rocked with the force of your tears. “Isn’t it pathetic? The minute I start trying to reach out, I get stood up?” you asked with a manic laugh. “Doesn’t that just make you feel so good? Aren’t I pitiable?”
Jungkook’s own tears were pooling in his eyes and you could see them there, threatening to fall. “Please,” he said quietly.
You shook your head. “Isn’t this what you want? Someone to look down on? Someone to feel bad for?” you asked, face wet from the tears. “Can’t you just leave me alone?!” you shouted, loud enough to rouse the attention of a few people on the sidewalk behind Jungkook’s back.
Jungkook, without another word, sniffled sharply and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his strong hold for a few moments, writhing, before finally submitting. Without even meaning to, you wrapped your arms around his torso and sobbed into his black shirt. He held you close, resting his cheek on your head. You could have sworn you felt a few tears hitting your shoulder.
But before you could get too comfortable in his embrace, you pushed yourself away and stared at him, bitter, angry, from several feet away. You looked at him like a feral thing, like an alleycat. And the way he watched you was different than it was that day by the bench. It was worried now, like a shadow had crossed over his face.
“I’m sorry-,” he began.
You shook your head and shoved past him. “Don’t talk to me. Ever,” you spat as you walked by, rejoining the stream of people on the sidewalk toward the subway entrance.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sua as the two of you left class.
Half a week had passed, and you were eager for more time to distance you from that unpleasant day. You’d received a slew of texts from your blind date, all of which had gone unanswered. They ranged from the typical I’m so sorry texts to more in-depth explanations. Apparently, he’d gotten nervous. Cold feet, he’d said. Nervous for what, you didn't know and you wouldn’t ask. You were meeting at a Burger King for God’s sake. What could he have been that nervous about?
You glanced at her and offered a tight smile. “Mhm. I’m good. Just…uh…gotta get to work later so I’m thinking about that,” you said, over-explaining. Of course, lying just wasn’t for you.
Sua sighed and hooked an arm around your elbow, leaning close to you as the two of you walked down the hallway. You edged away just slightly, and it seemed she noticed as she turned to you with wide eyes. You hated to admit it, but everything with that Nochu guy had made you wary of even Sua. They did know each other after all. Had this been one big setup from the start? Were the two conspiring to hurt you?
You shook your head and patted her hand with a smile. Of course not. Of course that was crazy. But…something about this whole thing had you feeling crazy. “Sorry,” you said quietly. “Just…met up with someone from my past the other day and it didn’t feel so good.”
She raised her brows. “What? You never mentioned anyone like that before…,” she said, her brows lowering. She looked a little hurt.
You swallowed hard. “Ah, well it’s no big deal,” you said, flitting a hand with a choppy laugh. “It’s in the past for a reason.”
She pouted. “You know you can talk to me, right?” she said, eyeing you.
And with those words, your chest constricted a little and a small pang of guilt clenched your stomach. You didn’t want to end up hurting her. She was sweet and she wanted to be close to you. But what could you do if you just weren’t ready for that? How could you tell her you may never be ready?
Instead, you turned to her and offered a smile. “I know.”
Blind Date: Y/N…
Blind Date: Please respond. Please.
Blind Date: I really really want to explain everything to you.
Blind Date: I know I really hurt you, but I want to explain.
Blind Date: Isn’t that selfish of me?
Blind Date: To hurt you and then ask you to listen to me?
Blind Date: I’m sorry.
Blind Date: I’m selfish.
You sighed as you watched your phone. The coffeeshop was quiet, fewer patrons now that the design students had finished their projects, and you felt safer looking at the onslaught of texts that just wouldn’t stop flooding your phone. You know you can talk to me, right? That’s what Sua said. She had reached out her hand to you.
And you’d pulled back.
You eyed your phone for a long few moments. Wasn’t it time to stop running away because you were scared of being hurt? Wasn’t it time to stop expecting someone to walk all the way across the tightrope to you and start walking to meet them in the middle instead?
Wasn’t it wrong to punish people for something someone else did?
You: Hey…
You: Sorry I haven’t responded. I just needed space I think.
Blind Date: Shit, I know. I’m so sorry.
Blind Date: You know I care about you though, right?
Blind Date: You know I wasn’t trying to hurt you on purpose, right?
You: I mean, we’ve only known each other a few weeks haha.
You: Honestly, I probably overreacted.
You: After everything that happened with that guy I told you about, I think I’m just a little too sensitive. And I took it out on you. And that was wrong.
Blind Date: No, no! Please don’t apologize. Jesus. It’s entirely my fault. All of it.
You: Haha it’s really not. I shouldn’t hold you and him to the same standards when you’re different people. That’s on me.
Blind Date: Can I see you?
You: Huh? So suddenly? I’m working…
Blind Date: The coffeeshop on campus?
You: Yeah…
You: Don’t come right now though!
You: I won’t be able to talk to you anyway.
Blind Date: I’ll wait. When do you get off?
You: Nine…
Blind Date: I’ll see you at nine.
You blushed, staring down at your screen. Since when was he so direct like this? And why did it make your heart race, just a little?
Sua was right. You definitely had a crush…
You watched the front doors as you began cleaning up the coffeeshop. Closing time was coming soon, and with five minutes until nine you were beginning to feel that festering fear that you’d be stood up again. But as that voice returned to your mind, you were quick to quiet it. You wanted to believe in people again. You couldn’t live your life all alone.
So you swept beneath tables and propped chairs atop them. You cleaned the windows. You hummed a pop song to yourself, trying to keep your mind busy. When you glanced outside, you noticed the spring showers had returned and the rain was falling in bullets from the dark sky. With a sigh, you settled down on one of the recliners by the window, watching cars and buses and people speed by. You wondered which one would come inside despite the sign now reading ‘closed’. You wondered who this person was.
Before you realized it, you were dozing off, struggling to keep your eyes open as you reclined against the comfortable cushions. Your breathing became more rhythmic, deeper in your chest with each inhale, and you snuggled into the back of the recliner with a heavy sigh.
And that’s when you heard it. The distinctive ting of the bell dangling over the front door. Your eyes opened wide and you saw his reflection in the mirror beside you. Tall, dressed in dark clothes, hoodie up over his head and an umbrella in his hand, trailing droplets of rainwater onto the wood floor. You wanted to greet him right away, to get a proper look at him, but with your heart racing the way it was you couldn’t find the courage. It was enough for you just to respond to his texts. And now he was here, corporeal, right behind you.
You shut your eyes tight and feigned sleep.
“Y/N?” he called, and somehow you recognized his voice.
No way.
It couldn’t be…
You kept your eyes shut and curled your knees closer to your chest. Slowly, you heard him mill around the shop before pausing beside your recliner. His footsteps got closer, rounding the side of the chair to stand right in front of you. And, quietly, he laughed. And you were certain now. You knew exactly who he was.
You felt a warm, big hand press against the side of your head, smoothing your hair down, and heard a fond sigh. “Jeez,” he mumbled. You felt him crouch down beside your feet and his arm dropped to rest on the arm of the recliner. He gently rocked the chair back and forth for a moment, humming. “Don’t hate me too much, okay?” he asked in a whisper.
And, without another moment’s hesitation, you opened your eyes and stared right down at him. “Jungkook…?” you asked, scanning his face.
His eyes were round with shock and his whole person was wet. He gazed up at you from where he crouched on the floor and, mouth agape, said nothing. Wordlessly, you reached a hand out and touched his cheek with the pad of your index finger. Soaking wet. You sighed and pushed to your feet. Jungkook stumbled a little to accommodate you as you slipped past him to the counter. You rifled through the cabinets before producing a towel. By then, he’d followed you to the counter and was waiting on the other side. Sighing, you waved a hand, signaling for him to join you behind the register. He jumped and followed your silent command, and suddenly you were staring at his broad chest up close.
You swallowed your nerves and draped the towel atop his head. “Dry off,” you said, hopping up to sit on the counter. The lights in the shop were low, and the music still bumped lowly through the stereo. It might have been romantic, if it was anyone else. “Then we can talk.”
He nodded and fluffed the towel through his hair, obscuring his face from view for a few peaceful seconds. “I…I know I have a lot to explain.”
“Yeah,” you said.
He peeked out from behind the towel with one eye, watching you. “Are you mad?”
“Fuming, actually.”
He nodded and let the towel drop to his shoulders. “I expected that,” he said with a sigh. He came to stand in front of your knees, looking right at you with enough sincerity to knock the breath from your lungs. Just like that first date. “I don’t know where to start.”
“So you know Sua?” you asked, letting your heels bounce against the counter’s cabinets.
“Ah, uh, yeah,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re in the same major, so…”
“And you transferred here?”
“Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes. “It was…no good out in Busan. I missed home too much.”
You nodded, watching your thighs on the counter. “Figures.”
He chuckled wryly. “You know me too well.”
“Thought I did.”
Carefully, he took a single step forward and you jumped, meeting his eyes like a frightened prey. “I never meant for you to carry all that with you for so long,” he said, brows knit and eyes hazy like he may cry. “I didn’t expect you to be so hurt.”
“That’s stupid,” you said. “You can’t tell someone you were only with them out of pity and expect them not to be hurt.”
“I know, I just…Jesus, I’m just stupid,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “Since I was moving away, I didn’t want you to waste your time waiting for me to come back, so I wanted to give you a clean break. Since I knew you wouldn’t wanna break up just because of distance.”
You stiffened. “You…what?”
“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Any of it.”
You felt like you’d been hit right in the diaphragm, like when you play dodgeball and someone throws a ball at your chest. You sat up straighter and stared at him, watching him carefully. “You lied?”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes seriously. It really looked like he might have cried. “I didn’t think it was fair to keep you from meeting new people and making new connections.”
“Then why didn’t you tell anyone we were dating?” you asked, brow low, scanning him for any signs of insincerity.
His eyes went wide. “I…I told you before, my high school friends…they weren’t so great,” he said, shaking his head. “I meant it when I was texting you about all that. How t’s hard for me to find good people.”
“And you didn’t show up to Burger King last time because…?”
He sniffled. “I meant what I said about that too. I was…really nervous. I was scared you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me.”
You sighed. “Why weren’t you just honest with me from the start?” you asked, all animosity draining from your voice as you saw him wiping his red, swelling eyes. “Back in high school. Why didn’t you just tell me all of it then?”
He sniffed and looked away. “I was scared you’d think less of me if you knew I was so insecure. And I didn’t want you to wait for me in college, not when you could’ve been out making new friends.”
“Well, the opposite happened actually,” you said with a dry laugh. “I got really worried that any friends I made would be doing it out of pity.”
Jungkook stiffened. “You…you did?”
You nodded. “Yeah…”
“Shit,” he breathed out, gripping his forehead with two hands. “I’m so stupid!”
Distantly, the sound of the rain picked up outside. You nodded. “Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at you once more, startling you with his sincerity. “I messed up so bad. I messed up everything.”
You blinked at him, standing nearly at eye-level, and slowly reached out to wipe beneath his eyes with your fingertips. “Well, you were right about one thing. I wouldn’t have accepted it had you not said what you said.”
He furrowed his brow and leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you,” you said.
He swallowed hard and you watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Really?”
“Well, yeah,” you said with a shrug. “Now that I know everything, it’s hard to be mad at you for being a jerk when you were really just being an idiot.”
He stared at you, inching forward so he rested just between your knees. “I’m so sorry,” he said again.
“Yeah, I know,” you said, letting out half a chuckle as you let your hands drop to his shoulders, giving them a pat.
“Really,” he said, nodding once as he stared right into your eyes.
“Jungkook, it’s-,”
Before you could finish, he had closed the distance between you, one hand grasping your jaw as he pressed a kiss to your lips. You jumped back, eyes wide, and stared at him in shock. He too looked shocked, like he hadn’t meant to do it at all. He shook his head, eyebrows knit, stuttering out syllables that didn’t add up to anything.
“I-I-you-I mean-,” he sputtered, irises shaking. You noticed no small margin of fear in his eyes, like he was terrified he’d messed things up again.
I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?
The words he’d trusted you with through the screen, his sincere thoughts. He really regretted it a lot, didn’t he? Your expression softened as he continued struggling to find words, and, without even really meaning to, you wrapped your fingers around his neck. He didn’t seem to notice, or he was too spooked to comment on it, but you slowly pulled him closer. Just like that day in high school, just like it was when you’d first entered hopefully into this fateful relationship, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, shutting your eyes. Stunned, he was completely still for a moment before eventually his hands moved to your hips, then slid along your sides, then hooked around your lower back. You hadn’t intended it, but the kiss was getting steamier with each passing moment. You felt his hot breath on your skin as he pulled back to adjust his position before crashing into you again.
As the fever settled down, Jungkook was the first to pull away, but only by a faction so he could speak. “I love you,” he whispered.
You stared wide-eyed at him, only inches away from you, eyes heavy-lidded and forehead resting just barely against yours. “O-Okay,” you said. It was all you could manage.
He chuckled once, still embracing you as he stood between your legs. “That’s it?”
“You expect me to say it back?” you asked.
He smiled, staring down at you. “I guess not.”
“You’re gonna have to give me some time,” you said with a nod.
He nodded too, shutting his eyes as he held you close. Slowly, he moved to rest his forehead against your shoulder, resting against the crook of your neck. “I understand.”
“Like…a lot of time probably.”
“I know.”
You let out a shaky exhale and only then did you realize your hands were shaking. As silly as it seemed, this reunion was pretty jarring to your system. The foundation on which you’d rebuilt your sense of self had broken down beneath your feet, leaving you to stand among the rubble once again. Just like back then. Everything you thought you understood had been proven wrong.
But nonetheless, you smoothed your palms against his back and rubbed gently. Not to comfort him, but to comfort yourself. To let yourself know that, even though it was scary, it was okay to trust people sometimes. Self preservation shouldn’t come at the sacrifice of human connection. And even though you knew the road ahead was going to be long and that trusting Jungkook again would take a long time and a lot of work on his end, you were ready to try.
So, as the two of you left the shop under one umbrella, you drafted a text.
You: Sua, I have SO MUCH to tell you.
#jungkook one shot#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#bts request#bts reader insert#bts imagines#bts reactions#bts fluff#bts angst#bts series#bts scenarios#jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook imagines#jungkook reactions#jungkook request
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AU where “my buddies pranked me when I went skinny dipping and they stole my clothes and I only have a towel but you thought I was a robber and you told me to put my hands up but I dropped the towel and I don’t know if you’ll shoot me or taser me if I try to pick it up and you can’t see because I’m behind a tree but you’re telling me to step out wtf do I do”
“Oh dear lord, you are naked!”
The surprise in the man’s voice was almost offensive. Ryan swallowed, feeling his body tremble. Dammit, he hadn’t noticed before, when he had his clothes and his dignity as he and his friends made their way to the dock of the lake.
He should had known better, looking back at their stupid Uno game. Ryan should had known Dany and the boys were gonna pull one on him once they chose his punishment for loosing the world’s longest Uno game in history.
“You are jumping naked into the lake!” Dany had declared, and that was the moment Ryan should had say no, he should had realized what the real plan was.
It was the most common joke in the universe, something he himself had done to Dany back in college, and now he was naked, balls frozen, wet and certainly catching a cold, with his arms up because someone had caught him traspassing private property.
“Where you…? What? What where you trying to do all naked in the middle of the night?” The guy asked, slowly walking towards Shane with his taser and light up. “Do you always robb balls out?”
“I’m not– I’m not thief, for the last fucking time!” Ryan yelled, desperation so clear in his voice it would be embarrassing if his ass wasn’t bare. “Can I just… please, let me pick my towell!”
The guy moved his hand, indicating just that to Ryan who immediatelly took the towell and put it back around his waist as best he could. Dany had chosen to leave him with the smallest one, the bastard, and Ryan hadn’t feel so inclining to murder in his entire life.
Just let him find those idiots again…
“Shane!” He heard a woman yell, Ryan looked up at the cabin he had tried to walk to for help. “It’s everything alright?”
“I think!” The guy answered. Shane. Ryan swallowed and took a good look at his profile– he had glasses and messy hair, a beard and flannel. Like a hipster version of a fucking lumberjack. “God back inside, I’ll be there in a moment!”
He gave a step back, ready to fucking run into the other direction before the man could tase him or something– but Shane looked at him, slowly lowered his taser and walked towards him until Ryan could see his face.
“You look like the typical college jock whose friends left in the lake without clothes.” Shane declared, his words falling on Ryan like cold water. Again. “You need a phone? Maybe a sweater? Pants? All of the above?”
“All of the avobe would be nice, sir.”
Shane chuckled, shaking his head as he stepped in a few inches closer. Ryan looked at that face– the tin of his pink lips, the frekles on his cheeks and the beauty marks on him, his lashes were pretty, his eyes shone in a way he had never seen before.
He looked like the kind of guy who wouldn’t even kill a fly.
Which… didn’t gave him the best of ideas after having seen Psycho with the guys. Hipster lumpberjack has a cabin in the woods and appears with a taser in the middle of the night? No, thank you.
“Come on, let’s get inside so you can get some warmth.” Shane suggested, moving aside to let him walk with him. “Sara made some cocoa, you can have some.”
Sara. Must be the girl that talked to him earlier.
“Th-thanks!”
**
Sara was, in fact, the woman who had spoke to Shane before. She was a tiny girl with big hair that talked gently and hide her laughther for Ryan’s situation when she heard what had happened. The rest of the girls in the cabin couldn’t, though.
In fact, the place was filled with girls, huge signs and party ornaments let Ryan know he had interrumpted a Bachelorette party and the jokes about his nakedness and someone calling in a stripper for the lesbian wedding actually made him laugh once he was dressed and warm in Shane’s big ass clothes.
The girls let him stay when his friends didn’t answer their phones, Ryan supposed they may as well be scared shitless at the fact that they couldn’t find him in the lake after their stupid prank.
Which… good. They deserved the fear of having to tell his mother they had lost their son.
“No offense,” Ryan said as he saw Shane puring him a drink once his cocoa was out, “but why are you in the bachelorette party? You are, like, the only guy… aside from me.”
“Oh, I am the stripper.” He answered simply, Ryan’s eyes opened wide as his mouth but before he could say anything, Shane started to laugh, passing the glass to him.
His eyes had turned into half moons in a way that made him look younger and bright, Ryan thought it endearing. This man that almost tased him, that had acted as if Ryan’s dong wasn’t showing in the middle of the woods, was actually just some kind and sweet nerd.
“No, no. I’m sorry– Bad joke.” Shane said, sighing before looking at Ryan once he had put his elbows on the bar at the kitchen. “I’m Sara’s Best Man, and also this is my cabin.”
“It’s yours?” Ryan asked, then took a sip of the drink. Shane nodded his head. “That’s cool. You live out here in the woods?”
“No… not really.” He said. “I spend some time here, do some work, then go back to the city!”
“Oh,” He blinked a couple of times, “What… what do you do?”
Shane looked at him, his eyes never leaving Ryan’s. His stare was neutral but something in the depth of his eyes had Ryan feeling naked all over again. It was as if Shane knew him since forever and could see through him, know all his screts with just one look.
He swallowed, Shane smiled at him and held his own chin in one hand.
“I study wild life. Write some essays and books about them. Do some videos for YouTube… and some ASMR, also for YouTube.”
“Oh.” Ryan moved his head to one side. “Really?”
“Yep!” Shane answered, moving to make himself a drink. “What about you? Still in college? Or are your friends just stuck in college?”
“Oh, I think we brought back some ghosts this weekend. Holy shit…” Ryan said, taking another sip of his drink as Shane laughed and finished preparing his. “No, I’m a video producer, I’m working for… you know, the Try Guys?”
“Sure, of course.” Shane said, looking at Ryan with complete interest. “You work with them?”
“Yeah…” Ryan answered, swallowing. Shane seemed genuinely impressed. “A friend and I, we– we’ve been seeing some people and stuff. To open our own company.”
“Oh!” Shane held his drink between them. “Cheers for you guys! That’s amazing!”
Laughter erupted in the living room where the girls had started a game of Never Have I Ever between them. Ryan smiled at the sight, slowly looking back at Shane who was still watching them, a sweet smile on his face made him look like proud big brother seeing his sister getting married.
For the interactions he’ve seen tonight, Shane and Sara were close, and so were Shane and Kelsey, her future wife. It was a nice picture, these ladies having fun, and they had the luck to witness it with good drinks.
Shane looked back at him, showing his drink again before they clicked glasses together and drank at the same time.
This was… really nice.
**
“It’s late.” Shane announced, looking at his clock on his wirst.
Ryan nodded and looked at the cabin’s phone, ready to try again and call his friends, but Shane put a hand on his shoulder before he could go.
“Why don’t you stay?” Shane asked. “It really is late, going out to the woods right now doesn’t sound like the best of ideas.”
“Uh,” Ryan blinked a couple of times, then looked at where the girls were getting ready for the night.
For what Shane had told him, he could just take the guest room as they were staying in the living room, like a sleepover from childhood. He could also take Shane’s bed.
He swallowd, but nodded.
**
Dany almost cried on the phone when Ryan called to let him know he was staying with his rescuers. After the milliont I’m Sorry, Ryan finally got to calm him down, telling him it was fine, they would talk the next day.
By the time his friend asked him if the hipster lumberjack was hot with that tone that indicates he’s being called a horny bitch, Ryan hang up the phone with warmth cheeks.
Shane smiled at him from the living room and, holy shit–
Yeah. Yeah, the hipster lumberjack that makes ASMR was hot.
**
The lights were off in the living room but they could still hear some of the girls’ giggling, Kelsey telling them out loud to shut up and let them sleep since tomorrow they will all have hangovers the size of Idris Elba’s biceps (more laughter came after).
Ryan followed Shane into the hallway that lead to the rooms, and sighed when they stopped between two doors that were one in front of the other.
“So, here’s the guests room.” Shane showed him the one on the left, then signaled the one door in front of them between the rooms. “Bathroom.” Ryan nodded, then followed his finger to the next door. “And this is my room.”
“Uh, okay–”
“Where I’m going to change into my, what did you called me?” Shane said, Ryan frowned and started to feel his cheeks warmth yet again, “Hipster lumberjack? Well, I’m gonna change into my hipster lumberjack pajamas… and then in five minutes, you can come in and take them off.”
Ryan stared at him for a few seconds, but Shane only winked at him with a wicked smile before getting into his room, leaving the door slightly open.
He heard a giggle in the livin room and Ryan blinked, finally, processing what Shane had said, what he was inviting him to and– it had been a while, to be honest. This was a nice guy he just met in the weirdest of ways, and…
“To hell with it.” He decides, opening the door of Shane’s room.
All they could probably hear in the livin room was Shane’s laugh as Ryan entered and closed the door behind him.
#shyan#skeptic believer#buzzfeed unclean#but not really#let-the-whump-commence#nini got mail#may fuck around and wrote more of this and put it on ao3#what do you guys think?#mine#my drabbles#my fanfics#fanfictions#otp: we took an oath#au#a very naked ryan has appeared!
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I'm sure your askbox is flooded, but I did have one 15x13 thing that I'm confused on (and, no, it's not the Impala driving...). If the cosmic entity warding boost was temporary/ineffective/clearly didn't work on Billie (or did it???) And Jack is meant to be hiding out NOT using his powers for fear of Chuck seeing it. And Chuck can look in on the bunker at any time to check to see if Sam and Dean are there/if Sam has a manbun... then why couldn't he see Jack there or see him pull Cas's grace out?
Hi hi! I hope you’re holding up well :)
The ask box it’s too bad, actually. Typical bucklemming >.>
I’m not entirely sure what the cosmic entity warding boost would do. I don’t think it would work on Billie. I mean, reapers can get anywhere. Otherwise people inside the bunker would be effectively immortal. Ooh... the bunker would be like a Faerie Mound... inside humans would be untouched by death, but the moment they ventured outside again... so yeah, I don’t think they can truly bar Death that way.
We were told the warding boost was temporary, but we weren’t told how long it would be for. A day? A month? The rest of the season until the critical moment they dramatically fail? We have to assume they were still active if Cas asked Jack to use his power.
We also know, per Billie in addition to the fact they witnessed the destruction of AU!Sam and Dean’s universe in the opening scene, that Chuck is world-hopping-and-popping at the moment, and not actively focused on *this* universe. We don’t even know if Chuck realized an alternate Sam and Dean slipped out of their world. And the fact they were “trapped between worlds” in the bunker before they used Cas’s grace to open a rift into that between place to pull them out kinda makes me think Chuck missed them...
In the episode, Jack even brought up the point that Chuck isn’t actively paying attention to the still-- after Cas’s escapades in the empty. If anything, I think Chuck would’ve noticed Jack using the Occultum, you know? That... was quite the magical blast (it blew away a couple of Hellhounds in a blast of power). I also think the instant Chuck is done with the other universes, Billie will be on the spot to warn them that Chuck has returned, too.
The show has given us plausible reason for Chuck not keeping a close eye on this universe, for Jack being able to use a minor magical power-- especially one directly connected to the Empty, which is also a dimension we have been told Chuck has no power over, and especially within the cosmically warded bunker (since we have no evidence that that warding has stopped working). And especially when it was Cas’s life force being affected/manipulated, since we know Chuck (and pretty much all the other cosmic entities outside of the Empty) don’t seem to notice Cas at all... He’s our wild card, and the show keeps hammering on that point.
Chuck can look in on the bunker, but I’m not sure he actually is. We’ve seen how he goes all one-track mind once he’s made a plan for himself. Gosh he’s really like Sam this way, isn’t he? He’s decided those other universes don’t spark joy, and is dismantling them one by one. He’s put all his attention into that project, not even realizing the Winchesters (and Jack!) are setting up a plan to use against him yet.
In a lot of ways, what we witnessed in this episode was TFW actively working within the limited number of choices they have available to them. All of their options have potential downfalls, but they also have a priority mission to help Jack prepare to face Chuck. Billie keeps pushing the importance of Jack being ready, the urgency to complete this mission to find the Occultum in this case.
Sam: Let’s go then!Jack: Wait, what if Chuck checks in on us, sees what we’re doing? Isn’t it... pretty much... over?Sam: Yeah, it would be.Dean: Uh, I have a dumb idea... If Chuck comes back to check in on us, he’s gonna look for us here, in the bunker.Sam: We don’t know that.Dean: Well, we don’t not know that.
And yeah, it’s a bit silly, and contrived, but it doesn’t blatantly defy anything that’s already been established. And we know TFW MUST find a way to get the Occultum, which even Billie can’t see the location of. The only person in existence, alive or dead, who even knew the location was apparently Ruby. Why didn’t Cas ask Billie to travel to the Empty and ask Ruby herself? We just don’t know. See... a bit silly and contrived... but thematically still on point in every other way:
Cas and his belief that he must be “useful” at all cost-- which was highlighted with that “I got the info, am I still an idiot?” scene, with Dean frustrated and telling him he sure was... because that’s their core character issue between them and has been all season. It feels like a progression toward understanding between them. But in this case, risking himself to go to the singular place where he personally was most at risk in order to get the information they needed was the choice he made for himself.
Acting on that choice also brought him in direct confrontation with the Empty Entity, confirming that his deal with the empty is still in force, and reminding us of the conditions of the deal-- Cas’s happiness being the trigger
The direct parallel between Cas’s current lack of perfect happiness despite Jack even getting his soul back in this episode-- and Jack finally experiencing the profound suffering of truly feeling what he’d done, the emotional hurt he’d caused the people he cared about most-- but also echoing what Cas once told Sam (lol also in a bucklemming episode, 10.03-- they’re a bit ott and contrived, but heck they’re thematically consistent), that only humans can experience true joy or such profound sadness, and it took Jack having his soul restored to actually feel it, after trying to work through what he was supposed to feel on an intellectual level with Cas earlier in the episode.
The fact that Chuck doesn’t know what’s written in his own book in Billie’s library, the fact that Sam, Dean, and Jack are tied to his fate and Cas still feels like the wild card-- pointed out by the Empty that he’s not part of the plan and yet he keeps coming through with these sorts of things that literally nobody else could’ve chosen to do-- and yet Cas seems to be outside of Chuck’s personal observational radar... Cas was in nearly every image in 15.12 while Chuck went on and on about “Sam and Dean,” and yet didn’t even rate a mention by Chuck, as if Chuck couldn’t even see him sitting there. And I think this is gonna prove to be critical by the end, whether Chuck is simply dismissing Cas as relevant or important, or if he legitimately can’t even see Cas sitting there for some reason. Either way, I think that was the point here. Even when delivered in slightly stumbly bucklemming fashion compared to the subtlety of bobo or meredith or dabb... they are still trying to convey the same advancement of the themes...
Lol, this is why I am willing to backflip through bucklemming canon. If we can get past the moments of wtf, there is actual substance and continuity to be found. I mean, I hate the fact we have to shovel our way through stuff to find the continuity like this, but it is there. Their problem isn’t in the core themes, but in the execution.
And for them, this episode was pretty damn good... Even Mr. Mittens liked it, and was surprised when I told him it was the deadly duo. He was like, “wow for them that was better than usual,” which is honestly a rousing endorsement of the episode overall. :P
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hey Chana hehe another anon beat me to asking you about Film Out hehe :,) but I really liked it too hehe and I’m kinda glad there wasn’t aS much noticeable vocal filtering(?)/autotune(?) in the song :,) like in the entire Be album the vocal filtering was very strong :/ but also I will go 😃🔪 to whoever created the lame new intro heh anyWAYS!! I hope you’ve been happy with the college decisions that came out so far and good luck to next week’s Ivy League results >:) 🌻
omg i did not notice the difference in the vocal filtering 😳 but now that you mention it, yes! film out kind of had a more ~au naturel~ kind of vibe! (and i was there for it!!) also apparently the mv continued on with the bts universe timeline that i was caught up with two years ago but totally accidentally fell out of sync of 😄
AND OHMYGOD I THOUGHT THE NEW INTRO WAS AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE BUT I DON’T THINK IT IS ANYMORE AND I’M GONNA CRY. LIKE WHAT TF IS THAT 😭😭 WHO LET THAT HAPPEN BYE. THE LOGO THINGY LOOKS LIKE THE SIDEWAYS PIXELATED DISCORD ICON AND I DON’T SUPPORT IT WHATSOEVER
ahHh i’m thinking of already committing to one of the colleges i got into! i also have *zero hope* for my ivies. (okay but did i mention i applied to them bc how did you know??) aNyways, the applicant pool was definitely off-kilter this year. a lot of worthy applicants are being rejected for reasons that seem pretty indiscernible AND unreasonable to me. but then again, a lot of my friends have already been getting into top-tier schools. (we have tWO MIT commits, a upenn commit, a full-ride northwestern commit and a jhu commit already,,, and ivy day is yet to come...) don’t even get me started on lAst year 😄we literally had two harvard commits, six eARLY DECISIONS johns hopkins and four dukes (not to mention the seven usc’s and ucla’s and berkeley’s eACH). so at this point, i’m pretty sure i’ll just take my college and go 🤩my school does a hell of a good job keeping me humble 😌
this year’s pool of applicants is very competitive. not only because many schools made standardized testing optional (and thus more were able to apply) but also because those who took a gap year (who were originally supposed to be class of 24) are also applying with class of 25. so it’s been a game changer. i remember you told me your sister is also part of this process this year. i really hope she gets in somewhere that is the perfect fit for her!
and, of course, colleges are a business. i think the netflix documentary operation varsity blues made that pretty clear. rejection is only inevitable if you come from a background in which you have little to no advantages that corporate business owners’ children have. and you can’t 100% trust the admission officers to do their job (at least, in a morally correct manner). america is corrupted, and of course that will bleed into college admissions. honestly, i think rejection is a funny thing. students often think they’re not good enough. or they misjudged themselves to be fit for a college that is “out of their league.” but you cannot encompass your seventeen/eighteen years of life in one single application. you cannot learn everything you need to know about a person with a 45 min+ interview. so really, the application process—to me—seems like a whole bucket load of luck, educated “guessing” on the AO’s part and rich privilege. so getting rejected from a dream school is really not a testament to one’s ability, but really the stars not being aligned at the right place and time
sorry wtf this turned out much longer than expected. i guess i have a bone to pick with the college admissions process. and i know most of my opinions aren’t valid because i did get into a “good” school and i do come from a background of privilege. so it might not be my place to talk about this. still, i think if someone is in the same shoes as i am, my input might(?) be helpful
anyways 😄 omg i need to stop doing this. you ask oNe question and then i give you like ten answers. this is a bad habit and i must stop
aNYWAYS! i appreciate your enthusiasm and great care as usual <3 i hope you’re doing well (:
#ask#🌻 anon#anon#ohmygod and another thing#people go to ivies for the name#they're a BUSINESS#i think it's sad that we have to become subservient to their wishes#to build upon our own futures#but i guess it is what it is#no matter how much i hate on the ivies#i do ultimately dream of going to one#it's sad
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Brenna omg wtf have I been living under a rock or what, I didn’t know you had another blog! What a dummy I am 😖🤦🏼♀️
But seeing your fwb fic pop up has just made my night! I’m so excited to read it I just know it’s gonna be incredible 😆🤯
Have you got it all finished? I can’t wait! What’s your plan for uploading the chapters, if you don’t mind me asking of course!
Have a lovely, restful night you talented queeeen 👑✨ thanks for blessing us!
You’re not!! This blog is still relatively new! The only stories I’ve posted from this account have been this fic and on wednesdays, we fall which was my Britt and Noor one shot and not much else. I don’t even think it has 20 posts yet lol. I really hope that you enjoy it! I had such a fun time writing this chapter!!
Unfortunately, I do not have it all finished but I do have it all planned out. The original reason it took me so long to write it was because I wasn’t sure where I was taking the story. (I originally had this idea last Spring during Quarantine but as I was planning it, I got stuck on Sobbe and it ended up turning into my ‘just roommates’ that was a vds fwb). I generally don’t like starting a story until I have a basic outline of where I’m going and one day, I sat down and wrote it down and I have it sitting next to me.
As of right now, I’m still at the tail end of my semester—I’ve got this week of classes and next week of finals—so ideally, I want to say uploading a chapter every other week. However, I do have a Christmas fic that I’m planning on writing—which will feature all canon and non-canon (should be canon) couples of wtfock so I’m hoping to get them both done. I’ve been doing pretty good on bouncing between stories.
Also, I know you didn’t ask about this fic but an update on Jana’s Hogwarts AU is this: I’m still in chapter 1, this word document is 25 pages/12k words long, and I’m still not done with this chapter. For that one, I will be waiting until I’m a few chapters in before I start posting it but I know there are a few people still curious about it.
Thank you so much for your kind words and wishes! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of fwb and I hope you have a restful night as well.
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Since you sent me an a bonus two, I am taking that as a greenlight to send even more! How about Kate Fuller and looking through your tags: Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) and Edward Elric (Full Metal Alchemist) 💖
omg this took forever!! lmaooo Thanks for all the characters though!! :D
Kate Fuller
Why I like them: My love!! I went into FDTD already a fan of Madie’s but Kate quickly became one my fave characters!! I love that she’s so small and cute but will absolute wreck you if you mess with her or someone she cares about!! lmfao She’s so fierce when she needs to be and doesn’t take shit from anyone, but she’s also so nurturing and forgiving and I think we all need a little of that in our lives. Absolute sunshine, not to be taken for granted.
Why I don’t: Sometimes she goes a little too far tbh. She doesn’t know when or how to say no. It’s not that I don’t like that about her, but it absolutely gets her into situations that could otherwise be avoided.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Again season 2 episode 1!! I love how she sasses Seth in that episode. lol
Favorite season/movie: Hmm... maybe season 1.
Favorite line: “...So you’re gonna put this car into drive, and you’re gonna step on that pedal, or I’m gonna Bible-thump your ass all the way back to Kansas! NOW!” LMFAOOO
Favorite outfit: I think her black American Eagle jacket and jeans with the black boots outfit has become so attributable to her character in my mind. When I think of Kate she’s wearing either that outfit or the one she wears at the end of s1. I think those are my faves. Also Amaru’s outfit looked totally amazing on Madie!!
OTP: Sethkate obvs
Brotp: I’m gonna go with Kate and Rafa. He was too good!! I totally would ship them romantically too ngl. They were precious together!!
Head Canon: Ugh again with the head canons... lmao I kinda always believed she’d wanna study engineering of some kind if given the chance to go to back and finish school. Everyone always wants to make her a nurse or a teacher or something, and I can totally see that. But I like the idea that she’s interested in how things work. I totally wanna write a mechanic Kate au one of these days.
Unpopular opinion: idk that I have any unpopular opinions about her... She made some questionable decisions in season2, but I forgive her for making me suffer.
A wish: That she hadn’t mf DIED!! BECAUSE I SUFFERED OKAY. WORRYING FOR MONTHS THAT IT HAPPENED TO ME YET AGAIN AND THAT MY FAVE WAS DEAD. Also that she had gotten more screentime in season 3. She barely had a few minutes. It wasn’t fair. And I wish that Richie had owned up to his part in her death.
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Romantic tres geckos. No thanks!!
5 words to best describe them: Too good for this world
My nickname for them: Seth’s badass beautiful young wife. That’s my tag name for her. :P Also Kate Gecko.
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Joel Hammond
Why I like them: OMFG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! lmao I love that he’s so dedicated to his family. And he LOVES Sheila more than anything, even though she’s become a zombie and her entire personality changes on him and eats people now, but he stays with her and never gives up on her. Even though he’s highkey stressed 100% of the time. :P
Why I don’t: I don’t think there’s anything I don’t like about him tbh??
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Ughhh idk I loved all the episodes tbh. But one of my favorite scenes was in season 3 after he and Eric do the zombie killing training and Eric says “Joel touched me” XD
Favorite season/movie: IDK. Maybe a tie between s1 and s3.
Favorite line: haha idk I can’t remember any in particular except “You’re killing it!” when he finds out Abby soaked his iron skillet in the sink :P
Favorite outfit: I don’t think I have one? I never really paid attention tbh.
OTP: Joel and Sheila!! They belong together!!
Brotp: Joel and Eric!! forever dying at those two. I love their relationship so much!!
Head Canon: I never thought about it tbh...
Unpopular opinion: Don’t have any!!
A wish: THAT THE SHOW HADN’T BEEN MF CANCELED AND WE COULD’VE GOTTEN TO SEE WHAT ZOMBIE JOEL WOULD’VE BEEN LIKE. FOREVER SCREAMING AT NETFLIX FOR CANCELING ALL MY FAVE SHOWS WTF.
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: that his personality would be really different from his original one after turning into a zombie
5 words to best describe them: Best husband in the world
My nickname for them: don’t have one!!
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Edward Elric
Why I like them: I really loved his relationship with Alphonse!! They meant everything to each other!! I haven’t seen FMA anything in a long time, or I’m sure I would remember more things I liked. :P
Why I don’t: Okay I found the Brotherhood anime Edward pretty goddamn annoying sometimes with all the screaming and cartoony reactions to things...
Favorite episode (scene if movie): idkkkkk
Favorite season/movie: I definitely preferred the 2003 anime... Brotherhood might be canon but idgaf!! I still haven’t read the manga. :P
Favorite line: “You’ve got a good, strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use ‘em.” haha idk I haven’t seen either anime in so long but that one comes to mind... there’s so many different versions of it. :P
Favorite outfit: He literally always wears the same thing. lol
OTP: ehh... I mean everyone ships him with Winry but I didn’t really ship him with anyone? I know he and Winry are canon. idgaf though. I hated that she was always fucking hitting him in Brotherhood and though I did think they were really cute in the 2003 series it didn’t really go there?
Brotp: Ed and Al forever!! Their relationship is my favorite thing about the series!! omfg I cried when I watched the Shamballa movie when Al says “brother” in his sleep, stuck in the other world. T_T I know it’s not “canon” but the brothers’ relationship is developed soooooo much better in the 2003 series and movie.
Head Canon: don’t got any!!
Unpopular opinion: NGL I loved the 2003 anime soooo much more than Brotherhood because they didn’t cut every potentially emotional scene off at the knees with some comedic BS to lighten the mood. The 2003 series really gave the story and characters time it needed, and it really allowed us to get to know the brothers and grow an attachment to those characters. That series just had wayyyy better character development imo and I really grew to love Ed and Al so much because of it!! I haven’t actually read the manga still after all this time. lol I’ve been meaning to.
A wish: idk... I haven’t been in that fandom for ages...
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I can’t think of anything...?
5 words to best describe them: haha I hate this question
My nickname for them: don’t have one :P
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Ranma 2/4
Yup... I’m doing it... yes this how I plan, shut up
Part One: Chapters 1-12
Genderfluid Ranma Saotome
Bisexual Akane Tendo
BAMF!Akane if it kills me
More modern America take on LGBTQIA+ themes
Bisexual Ryoga Hibiki
Fuck the Kunos
Full Series AU because I am a fool who doesn’t know restraint
Magic Rules are a thing
I am actually going to keep a consistent timeline if it kills me
I have a PLAN
Very Minor changes to the actual plot cuz economics
Bad Parenting is addressed
Harassment is Addressed
I will make them acknowledge Physics/Medical because I’m an asshole
Pulling from both the Anime and the Manga
Still working through the Manga as I plot
Friendly reminder that Genma is crap
Friendly reminder that Nodoka is crazy
Poor Mousse
Soun Tendo TRIES really hard but grief fucking sucks
Nabiki is morally grey
Toxic Shampoo
Kasumi gets Character Development or so help me
polyship cuz surprises
I promise I do love this anime
I’m just stunned that so many people didn’t get a lot of character development
Actual fucking ENDING
I do actually hate Shampoo tho
I watch dubs
Ranma slowly starts using they/them pronouns vs switching
Ranma wears a bra, fuck you
Yes I’m using 2020 LGBT stuff BUT I will keep the tech as close to the 90s as I can (tho fair warning I was BORN in the 90s)
Toxic Masculinity addressed (yes I mean Ranma’s)
Ranma is awkward as hell
bc that’s what happens when you isolate a child, Genma!
Also, they spent closer to 1-2 months in China bc of how many things happen while they’re there
Homophobic/Transphobic Language
Ranma uses Ranko WAY more often cuz it makes sense
Tatewaki is actually not as stupid as he is in canon, but he’s worse
Kodachi… on the other hand... IS stupid
Canon Heights are used (hence the “actual magic” tag, it’s how Kuno explains it and is still wrong)
Ranma is a shitty liar, and trusts his friends (kinda)
I’ve never like Shampoo, I don't hide that
While reading the manga I’ve realized how often Ranma wears a hat in the early chapters
I love it
Laws Exist
Rule Enforcement
Adults aren’t useless
Demiromantic Ranma
Ace/Demisexual Ranma (I haven’t decided yet)
Demiromantic Akane
Pansexual Ryoga
YES Akane is Bisexual AND Demiromantic. It’s a thing!
Genma is a sonnova bitch and piece o shit
Diasuke x Hiroshi
Sayuri x Yuka
Polyamory discussions
Hiroshi x Yuka
Protective Ranma
Protective Akane
Protective Ryoga
Tendos adopt Ryoga bc they care
Cologne sucks, I didn’t realize that was justified until now
Minor Anime over Manga Arc Choices
People aren’t oblivious those around Ranma a lot pick up on the transformation thing (eventually)
Ryoga’s crush on Akane turns into something normal, I may be ~Aro but even I know that’s bad
The “Akane Can’t Cook” Joke was funny once or twice; NOT the whole series Akane learns to cook
WAY fucking sooner than she did in the Anime
Look, I get the stereotype but it’s NOT funny!
Manga Chapt6Pt3 cover gave me too many ideas for what I want to do to Ryoga & IDK how I feel (Tiny pigtailed girl Ryoga is just too cute that I want to drop him the niángnìquán)
I will use Wiki-Mandarin-Spellings for Jusenkyo Springs cuz I don’t understand a lick of Chinese
Certain Arcs will be skipped entirely because I HATED THEM (any time they showed up)!
YEET Tea Ceremony Arc(s), mainly cuz an outsider I didn’t get it like I’m sure I was supposed to
If I could just kill Happosai I would, but I can’t
Expect him to be VERY dead/gone post-Canon
Fair warning tho cuz I hate him more than I hate Shampoo or Cologne
Shampoo still sucks
I wish the scene w Hiro/Dai was in the Anime cuz it’s hilarious
Ranma’s hat is back! I love it!
Is… is Ranma ADHD or is that me projecting again?
God, these two are hopeless dorks
Was someone going to TELL me that Ranma’s classmates figured out the transformation BEFORE the Romeo thing or was I just supposed to sit there stunned when it happened?!?
Goddammit, I hate Romeo and Julliet
I don’t mean the ep, I mean the play/movie/etc cuz my school years have done it 1.6 million times that I just can’t stand it anymore
Gosunkugi… wtf is wrong with you?
STILL hate this play
I’m American, ok
this has been shoved down my throat since I was 8 so It never occured to me that Ranma not knowing Romeo & Julliet at all wouldn’t be weird
Ranma learns his lines (kinda)
Kuno is 600% the reason they go off script
...And Gosunkugi being creepy af
TBH where they go off script (like Akane’s sleep scene) I’ll probs redo purely cuz I know this play
Still hate this play
Lol, tape ain’t a thing, that’s hilarious
Ranma kissing Kuno, yes
Akane kissing Ranma, NO
It’s called FAKING it
You either get over it or learn to fake it
Is it wrong that it’s tempting to get rid of P-chan in chapt8?
Don’t answer that… I know it is
Akane you need to learn to trust Ranma
Like seriously… that’s the 1 thing that drove me batty
100% going for the Anime version of the Japanese Speong of Drowned Man cuz it’s funnier
(I’m still tempted to change Ryoga)
Since the Cookie thing came before any comment about Akane’s cooking (Anime) I just figured Ranma was like me and can’t eat a ton of processed sugar (yes, make you that sick) so... HEADCANON!!
But Ranma’s still awkward af talking about it
Yup, subbing out Sasuke for Gosunkugi
Ranma not realizing his dad was committing crimes NEEDS to be handled better
I see angst potential
Ukyo is def still cis-fem, that point at least works
Ukyo’s dad is NOT in the clear here
Friendly reminder that Genma TOLD Mr. Kuonji that Ranma had a fiancée
Jealous Ranma’s fun
Ranma… just cuz you’ve 6.5k fiancé doesn’t mean everyone does
I’m just saying, Ryoga only falls for Ranma
Is Ranma wearing a binder while cursed bad? I honestly don’t know…
Poor Ranma, I’d DIE!
Obvs changing the rules of the pill from “first person of the opp sex”
I’m thinking “first person you’d be attracted to” cuz it’s nice and inclusive and won’t make someone fall for someone they wouldn’t normally
I’m just tryin’ to avoid some gayboy from fallin’ for a girl or some straight girl fallin’ for a girl
I mean Ranma’s still gonna Insta Cologne
Rule gets stricter the longer the pill lasts
also incest needs to be excluded
Look, I am NOT condoning Mousse’s obsession
but Shampoo still sucks
Is me making Tsubasa mtf bad?
Someone tell me cuz I’m not sure
I think I accidentally made Ukyo transphobic… oops
Redemption? Hopefully, idk yet
Do you realize how much anti LGBT shit I have to work through?!?
Tsubasa’s issue is 600% that she’s a lesbian so Ranma being a guy (even sometimes) weirds her out which for the record is FINE since they haven’t been dating at all & Ranma didn’t tell her!
The ½ white ½ brown dog IS actually Ryoga’s?!?
I didn’t know I needed this!
Also she’s staying!
Is Sasuke an Anime character?!?! Idk how I feel about this…
Ranma is a little shit & I love it
My idea may’ve been wrong (and Ranma!) but I love the idea had that I’m tempted do it anyway
Alright, Ranma is def going too far… even I can admit that
I’m quite sad this arc wasn’t animated
I don’t know which one I want! Kuno sick vs sneezing cat?
I can’t pick!
They’re both perfect!
Yup, Shampoo is evil
Akane… tone down the weapons kay?
#ranma 1/2#ranma saotome#ranma#ranma ½#akane tendo#ryoga hibiki#fanfiction writing#fic plots#shampoo#mousse#cologne#can i kill Happosai?!?#PLEASE#kasumi tendo#nabiki tendo#soun tendo#genma saotome#nodoka saotome
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BnHA Bonus Diversion: Horikoshi’s Sketches
of all the things I could have spent time writing a post about on my morning off, it ended up being this. but in my defense, Horikoshi’s sketches are actually amazing and this was kind of overdue.
so! as you may know, Horikoshi Kouhei frequently gets bored and doodle-y and is then kind enough to share the resulting drawings with us. sketchy boi. but not sketchy like that. though he did invent Mineta so maybe a little.
anyway, because he’s so disgustingly talented, these pictures are usually amazing. and there are a lot of them. when I finally got around to doing this post, I ran a search for “Horikoshi sketches” and it turned out there was a whole wiki page dedicated just to them (god bless whoever is running the BnHA wiki, they do such a good job). and, well...
two hundred and eighty-eight. you may recognize this as being nearly fifty more than the current number of chapters. this would mean he’s releasing at least one sketch a week and has been doing so for the past five years! fortunately (for me, who has to do a recap of all these), this number is slightly misleading, as this page apparently includes some of the character sketches he did for the volume omakes. so I don’t have to go through 300 sketches omfg. but still, there are a lot! so I’ll just go through them and post my favorites and see how many we can get through in this post I guess.
these are all in alphabetical order according to their file names on the wiki, and like I said, I’m not doing all of them, just the ones that catch my eye the most. which is still a ton of them. honestly we’re about to find out whether tumblr text posts have image limits. (ETA: the limit does not exist!)
right off the bat we are getting off to a great start! love me the ladies of class 1-A. these girls are all so, so valid. I love how Deku is there too and his hair is transforming into a tree or something.
this is a sketch from chapter 10. this cat I guess just came up to them and they were like “...” and the cat was like “...” and long story short they’ve been like this now for a whole hour. meanwhile Aizawa is wondering where his cat has gone.
why are they dressed like it’s world war I. ??
holy fuck this cat. did it eat the other cat. anyway do you guys think Momo and Todoroki were walking to school together because that’s some cute shit omg. we know there is a cat that hangs out around Shouto’s house, so he��s probably good at playing with stray cats, and they probably really like him because he is calm and kind.
holy shit.
oh my god I need Tsuyu’s siblings to come visit the dorms at U.A. and play with Eri!! now.
posting this one because it’s cute, but also because it notably has nothing at all to do with the actual chapter 120. but that’s okay.
what, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck.
are they making chocolate?? you know, canonically we haven’t actually had a Valentine’s Day yet in the series, and now I’m really hoping we get a little mini plot. things that would happen:
every single girl makes chocolate for Todoroki and he just accepts it very politely and obliviously.
they actually make enough chocolate for everyone (except Mineta. and honestly they would have, except they know how that’s gonna go down, and no. Tsuyu really would have made you some pity chocolate dawg, but you brought this on yourself). but don’t end up giving it to everyone. specifically several of them thought better about giving some to Bakugou after seeing him react to the first unlucky person to give him some (y’all know that song I THREW IT ON THE GROUND by the Lonely Island? I’m sure you can understand my meaning here). and also Jirou gets way too flustered about giving some to Kaminari and chickens out. she gives it to Momo instead. hmmMMMM.
Satou also makes chocolate for everyone, EVEN BAKUGOU, and it’s delicious. no one is throwing his chocolate on the ground.
Aoyama makes chocolate for Deku because!! ☆ ☆ WE ARE FRIENDS, MON AMI ☆ ☆ ☆ oui oui baguette.
I love everything about this, but especially Ochako’s face. she’s just like. sincerely trying to figure out exactly where she went wrong.
excuse the fuck out of me but DID HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY HINT AT THE FUCKING A-BAND A WHOLE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS BEFORE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. omfg. “what a cute AU!” “yes... AU,” Horikoshi agrees, nodding to himself. although after giving it some thought, he made the wise decision to switch Kaminari and Bakugou’s instruments. because we all know Bakugou was born to play the drums.
NO!!! VIDEO GAMES!!! IN CLASS!!!!!!!! [does a fucking aerial while emitting furious little huffs and bitchslapping Kirishima in the face]
I can’t figure out what’s going on in this picture. it appears to be baseball, except that Bakugou doesn’t have a bat. which I guess is the joke?? because his quirk is so strong he doesn’t need the fucking bat? except that I feel like that would result in either a broken arm or a blown-up baseball. idk this would make more sense with him as the pitcher.
“we really do love this AU, Horikoshi-sensei.” “yes... AU.”
this time it’s Shouji on the drums. I get that we all want to see Bakugou shred guitar, but it feels like he was just postponing the inevitable.
a full 85 chapters before he actually did this in the manga. god he really does enjoy foreshadowing with these things. I need to start paying more attention to these.
I have no words.
actually I do have words, and they are, “is that a fucking toothbrush.”
also is it just me or does he look, like, really swole in this pic. like, this is what the scarf has been hiding the whole time?? here we all thought he was a beanpole who subsisted off of energy bars and plain rice, but like. nope.
:) showing that there’s no hard feelings about the whole shooting-you-in-the-fucking-face thing. All Might is squeezing his hand awfully tightly, though.
all of them are so good-looking when they’re not trying. and then they open their mouths.
I am pained that there hasn’t at least been a karaoke chapter in one of the light novels yet, guys. pained. I NEED THIS.
holy fuck Todoroki. what are you, a mermaid?? I feel like this is a result of a prank gone wrong. like the other guys were sick of the girls always pining after him, and so they tried rubbing a balloon on his head in an effort to make him look ridiculous, only IT BACKFIRED COMPLETELY. shit.
fuck me I love this. of course Kami blowdries his hair and puts a ridiculous amount of effort into achieving the same kind of boyishly tousled look Todoroki is JUST NATURALLY BORN WITH. some things in life just aren’t fair. also lmao Deku.
oh my god. how are they all so cute. this was from episode 12 btw. you’re welcome for saving your life All Might.
I don’t have the slightest idea wtf is going on here but omg.
this was for episode 16 of the anime, a.k.a. the obstacle course episode of the Sports Festival arc in season 2. I can’t read what they’re saying, but I’ll tell you what, I know Bakugou is being a rude little shit and I’m here for it.
SHINSOUUUUUU. this was for episode 20. his one and only appearance in the anime so far. he knows he’s here for a good time not a long time.
lmao. my headcanon is that Monoma actually ended up losing after this, but somehow still managed to be smug about it.
lmaoooo. Kacchan refusing to even acknowledge that this is a thing that is happening for some reason.
HAWKS DID YOU REALLY KILL THIS MAN. COME ON OUT HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK.
I feel like taming Deku’s hair is arguably even more of a feat than taming Bakugou’s. meanwhile Iida looks 90% the same. and Todoroki is. well. just goes to show that this look is not for just anyone.
I have never in my life seen Katsuki so full on just done with life. like he is so fucking over this shit. he’s just rolled over and accepted it. I have never seen Bakugou fucking Katsuki just sigh and be all, “you know what, this might as well happen.” not until this moment. wow.
you guys I’m crying.
is it just me or do the little matroyshka dolls actually look like little nun Jeanists. though the hair swoosh is going the wrong way. Monomas, maybe.
HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS? my god, how useful would Shouji’s quirk be for this sort of thing. and Shouto looks so surprised (on like, a Todoroki scale) to have actually caught something. oh my god. so fucking cute. c’mere you. someone needs a hair ruffle.
I feel like this is how Tokoyami would want to be remembered. yes I know he’s not dead.
oh my god. so I’ve seen this one floating around on tumblr, but like. ffff. it’s my favorite ever. they are. so. fucking. cute. both looking up to All Might. and then the contrast between their innocent happy faces and their shocked and worried expressions watching All Might at Kamino. god it fucking destroys me. all four of these kids need hugs goddammit. the older ones because they’re heartbroken, and the little bubbas just because they’re so stinkin’ cute omfg.
I LOVE HER AND I’M NOT SORRY. please Horikoshi give me more Bakufam in this upcoming arc. who do I have to bribe or threaten.
STRANGER DANGER omg. Toga no. that’s not nice.
Horikoshi what did my heart ever do to you for you to treat it like this.
villain Iida from episode 7 holy fuck I’m dying.
here come the New Year’s sketches! I’ve been looking forward to these. Kacchan photo strategy: never look directly at the camera.
I wonder which animal year 2016 was. rooster, probably.
fucking look at Todoroki fucking Shouto stuffing his face yet again. can you stop chewing for one fucking second. we’re trying to take a picture you slob.
the year is 2018. Horikoshi Kouhei attempts to draw a dog, because it’s the year of the fucking dog. it does not go well. panicked, he takes the All Might he’s already started drawing, and for some reason attempts to turn it into another dog. it goes even worse. now he’s really starting to sweat. “oh shit,” he whispers, drawing Deku upside-down in his unrest. “oh fuck.” finally he just draws Bakugou shouting the words HAPPY NEW YEAR in giant letters across the screen, hoping that’ll be enough to distract everyone from all the rest of it. it is not.
oh my god. thank you so much to everyone who went to SDCC and made him so happy. this is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. also loving Bakugou tolerating the shit out of All Might leaning on him omg. I’m so fucking weak for this as always.
this is Horikoshi’s most recent sketch! lookit, he’s so happy with the toy him omg. it actually is really badass.
league of dorks. I love Toga’s face. and how Horikoshi clearly put more effort into drawing Tomura’s Face Hand than the entire rest of the picture.
I don’t understand a single element of this. wow. also this is twice now that Horikoshi has drawn the fucking Predator in these sketches. just pointing that out. of all the films to make multiple references to. what’s going on here. and is Mineta playing the fucking little sister in Totoro. am I losing my fucking mind.
this was for the season 3 premiere. I love how Bakugou and Deku are wrestling for control of the screen. but he knows better than to touch Mineta I guess.
Iida and Ochako are the only two reacting appropriately here. Bakugou just looks concerned. to be fair I guess that’s appropriate too. but Deku is all “fuck YEAH All Might you go ahead and SMASH YOUR FACE RIGHT THROUGH THAT MONITOR” and I feel like his blanket approval of all his mentor’s actions has finally gone too far.
this just goes to show you that even a very simple sketch concept can pay off dividends if you play your cards right. good job Horikoshi.
he could run faster if he just pulled his fucking pants up. does anyone have any brain cells to spare for my son here. please he needs them. I don’t know what he thinks a belt is actually for...?
hello this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and also is Kirishima doing the kage bunshin pose from Naruto or.
sob Aizawa I’m dead. I fucking love how Mineta is like HE’S CLEARLY FINE IT WAS A FLOP as though Kirishima is not literally covered in fucking grape balls. something else I also love is that Katsuki is number 10 and Deku is number 11. even in a soccer match he can’t stand to be lower then his rival sob. also Ochako is straight up about to rip off Mina’s head jesus christ girl run.
there aren’t even words for how much I ship this. just emotions. omg.
this is one of those pictures that keeps getting more wtf the longer you stare at it. naturally your eyes are drawn to Todoroki’s reindeer antlers first. by contrast, Ochako looks relatively normal, even with the odd pose. but then you notice Deku’s Christmas tree hair. from there your eyes are drawn down to his strange lack of a shirt. and then, finally, you spot him. Tokoyami. you wonder if the mangaka has finally gone too far. you’re still not sure.
for once it’s not Todoroki who’s leaping into action with his mouth full. never one to back down from a challenge, Bakugou has picked the absolute least practical food to consume whilst in the middle of battling. I can barely eat spaghetti without making a mess when I’m not throwing down. I’m not sure what a good food to eat while throwing down would be, but maybe something more portable, like a calzone.
I feel drawn to him the same way one might be drawn to a stray cat, even though you’re pretty sure the cat is really wary of people and will probably try to claw or bite you if you get too close. I would like to pat him on the head, but he might try to blow me up. eh, worth it.
look at the Baku Protection Squad trying to do some fucking Abbey Road thing. damn you can really see how short Tokoyami is in this. also Bakugou buys pants that are at least three sizes too big I s2g.
and that’s it! anyways, this was fun as heck. I’ve bookmarked Horikoshi’s Twitter now so I can keep up with the new sketches as they’re released. this is fucking great, and a whole new bonus to being caught up with the manga that I haven’t been appreciating until now. fucking love it.
#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#class 1-a#horikoshi kouhei#horikoshi sketches#makeste reads bnha#sorry if I accidentally skipped anyone's favorite#they're all so good honestly#I tell you what you can never unsee the tokoyami christmas turkey thing though and that's going to keep me up at night
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