#love the visual representation of a toxic relationship

[sharkbatez]

And I try to be the chill girl That holds her tongue and gives you space I try to be the chill girl But honestly, I'm not

Casual | Chappell Roan

[benkyoutobentou]

LGBTQ+ Japanese Media for Pride Month

Happy pride month! There's no better time to read and watch queer media than June. I tend to read and watch mostly queer content, so I thought I'd drop some things that I've enjoyed over the years for those looking for something that they maybe haven't picked up before. Since lots of Japanese media tends to have multiple versions and adaptations, I'll be organizing this by representation rather than type of media. The version(s) that I've personally seen or read will be bolded. This will also be a little bit different from my usual Japanese media recommendation posts, as I will also be including media that I've read in English or watched with English subtitles. This is also an invitation for anyone to recommend things to me, especially ones that have LGBT rep outside of just gay and lesbian characters. I'm always looking for more stuff to enjoy!

MLM

同級生/Classmates (manga/anime movie): Two seemingly opposite boys meet during the choir festival at their all boys' school and develop a relationship. How could this not be the very first thing I recommend? This is one of my all time favorite BL series and one of my favorite movies as well. Seriously, I watch this at least three times per year (once being during June!). Nakamura Asumiko is one of my favorite manga artists, and this won't be the last series of hers on this list.

ひだまりが聴こえる/I Hear the Sunspot (manga/movie): This follows a college student who agrees to become the designated note taker for a deaf classmate. I love this series and one of my favorite things about it is how much the romance takes a backseat to other things happening in the characters lives. It also has a large cast of deaf characters! If you're looking for something with representation outside of only LGBT and doesn't focus too much on romance, this is a really great choice.

30歳��で童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい/Cherry Magic! 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard (manga/drama/anime): After waking up on his thirtieth birthday, a businessman discovers that he has gained the ability to read minds. And with that, he discovers that his male coworker has a crush on him. For such a zany concept, this series is very cute and sweet. It's also always nice to see something that follows older characters (ie. not high school or college).

美しい彼/My Beautiful Man (novel/drama/manga): This follows a social outcast who ends up falling in love with a boy in the friend group of his high school bullies. This isn't a sweet and heartwarming romance at all, but it's also not pure toxicity. The drama is extremely bingeable and the author is a juggernaut in the BL light novel community for a reason.

消えた初恋/My Love Mix Up (manga/drama): Due to an eraser mishap, a boy admits to having feelings for another boy in order to save his actual crush from embarrassment. This series is The Blueprint for me in terms of romcoms. It does everything right for me and the characters especially stand out. It covers topics from discovering your identity and first love to dealing with homophobia and it does it all spectacularly. I also think that the manga does visual humor extremely well.

スリーピングデッド/Sleeping Dead (manga): After being stabbed to death on a routine patrol, a popular high school teacher wakes up on a metal table. I have no words [words]. This is definitely up there in my favorites, I love it so much. If you like queer horror, this is definitely one you need to pick up. I also found it very funny and the characters were extremely charming.

僕らの地球の歩き方/Our Not-So-Lonely Planet Travel Guide (manga): A couple decides to travel the world together, promising that they'll get married upon their return to Japan. Probably my all time favorite manga ever. I love every single thing about this, especially how much this series loves the queer community. This manga is overflowing with love in all ways, and I'm overflowing with love for this manga.

きのう何食べた？/What Did You Eat Yesterday? (manga/drama): This series is basically just snippets of a gay man's daily life. He likes to cook. And you know what? It's all the better for it. This series is award winning and such a great time. The main character is so relatable and it covers some great LGBT+ topics. Honestly, it's a crime that I haven't seen the drama yet.

WLW

独り舞/Solo Dance (novel): After a violent encounter, a Taiwanese woman makes the choice to move to Japan. When reading this, I saw it mention Qiu Miaojin's Notes of a Crocodile, which I had just bought, and now that I've finally read it, I can easily see the influences that Qiu's works had on this one. This is a tough book to get through emotionally, but ultimately a worthwhile read, especially if you're looking for something more on the literary side.

ささやくように恋を唄う/Whisper Me a Love Song (manga/anime): A girl confesses to an upperclassman that she loves her music, but the upperclassman misunderstands it as a true confession of love. I adore this series and the relationships in it. It has a huge cast of female characters and also has a driving plot outside of just the romance. I'm a sucker for series about music and this one is one of my favorites.

あさがおと加瀬さん/Kase San and Morning Glories (manga/anime movie): A shy gardener and a popular track star become friends and begin dating. This series is so cute! It feels like a GL staple to me and is one I've been following for practically as long as I've been reading manga in Japanese. It also has a sequel series called 山田と加瀬さん/Yamada and Kase San which follows the two of them after high school.

メジロバナの咲く/A White Rose in Bloom (manga): After not being able to go home for Christmas, a girl is stuck in her boarding school with one other student, who seems to not like her. This is another one by Nakamura Asumiko and there's something about her writing which always sucks me in. I can't get enough of this series, it has wonderful vibes, impeccable art, and I just want more and more of the characters.

欠けた月とドーナッツ/Donuts Under a Crescent Moon (manga): This series is a slice of life following two coworkers and their growing relationship. It's very slow burn and puts a lot more emphasis on the feelings of coming into and realizing your sexuality as an adult and dealing with compulsory heterosexuality. I really loved this series and how it focused on issues surrounding but not directly related to the central romance.

気になってる人が男じゃなかった/The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All (manga): A girl develops a crush on a worker at a music store after bonding over their shared love of music. Little does she know, he's actually the girl who sits next to her in class. This manga has taken the world by storm to the point of having a collaboration with Nirvana, and let me tell you it deserves every bit of hype you've heard about it. The art and characters are both stunning and is absolutely worth the read.

ハロー、メランコリック！/Hello, Melancholic! (manga): A talented trombonist enters a high school without a wind band, but is scouted anyway by a drummer looking for a new member to join her combo band. This is another one where the romance takes a backseat to other stuff in the plot, can you tell that I love that sort of thing? I also really loved the ways they talked about music in here, and I could definitely relate to it as a musician myself. Apparently, all the chapter titles are songs as well.

さよならローズガーデン/Goodbye, My Rose Garden (manga): A young woman moves from Japan to England to find her favorite author and is hired on as a maid. Her boss agrees to help her find this author so long as she agrees to help her with a grisly task. This is another really lovely series with gorgeous art. Set in the Victorian era, this does have some time period appropriate homophobia but overall it didn't strike me as a very dark manga.

Transgender

彼らが本気で編むときは、/Close Knit (movie): A young girl goes to live with her uncle and his transgender girlfriend. This movie is so sweet and cute! I watched it a couple years back now, but I feel like a lot of specific scenes have stuck with me. This is definitely a good heartwarming Pride month movie night candidate.

不可解なぼくのすべてを/Love Me For Who I Am (manga): A nonbinary teen is offered a job at a crossdressing cafe run by a classmate's family. Although this series has a cast with multiple LGBT identities, I chose to include it here because the main theme seems to revolve around gender. I do recommend this series if you're looking for a cute and sweet story about gender issues, but I did have some hesitations about the way lesbians are portrayed in this manga.

ボーイミーツマリア/Boy Meets Maria (manga): A boy who dreams of being an actor falls in love at first sight with a girl he sees dancing in his high school entrance ceremony, only to later find that she is actually a boy in his class. I feel like I always need to preface any recommendation for this manga by saying that a lot of people took issue with the way certain things and tropes are handled in this regarding being transgender. I personally didn't find it transphobic but I'm also just one person and can't speak for every nonbinary person out there. Regardless, I really enjoyed this. Be aware of trigger warnings when going into this one, it gets extremely graphic.

ボーイズ・ラン・ザ・ライオット/Boys Run the Riot (manga): Two high school boys bond over their shared love of fashion and start a brand together. I read this one a while back and never ended up finishing it but I do remember enjoying what I read! It's also by a transgender mangaka!

放浪息子/Wandering Son (manga/anime): This is a slice of life coming of age series that follows a middle school friend group revolving around two transgender friends. It's more of a slow paced series and a little bit on the more depressing side. The anime is also award winning and the manga was nominated!

星合の空/Stars Align (anime): This is a sports anime about a middle school boys' soft tennis team. I always hesitate to recommend this one because it was greenlit for a twenty four episode anime then cut down to twelve episodes during production. Rather than condense the story, the creator chose to animate only the first half of the series, so it's perpetually unfinished. Despite that, I still think it was a really wonderful anime and I would really love to see the rest of it one day because so much good stuff was set up!

Other/Multiple

しまなみ誰そ彼/Our Dreams at Dusk (manga): A gay teen is about to commit suicide after being outed to his classmates but sees a mysterious person jump from a balcony, which then leads him to a drop in center for LGBT people. I cannot say enough good things about this manga, it is phenomenal and is always my go-to for anyone looking for queer manga. It's heartfelt and beautiful and written by another one of my favorite mangaka, Kamatani Yuhki, who also happens to be X gender!

ヒラエスは旅路の果て/Hiraeth: The End of the Journey (manga): After the death of her best friend, a young girl decides to join a forgotten god and an immortal man on their journey to find death. Another Kamatani manga! This manga deals more with grief and mortality rather than queer identities, but if you want something with casually queer characters, this one is worth picking up. Also, this is one of only two manga to ever make me cry, and boy did I ugly cry at this one.

恋せぬふたり/Two People Who Can't Fall in Love (drama): Though I haven't watched this one, it's been on my radar for quite a while and I've heard so many good things. It's also harder to find series that have explicit aroace representation. This is about a woman who feels ostracized by her lack of romantic interest in anyone around her until she finds a blog about asexuality.

わたしは壁になりたい/I Want to Be a Wall (manga): This series is a marriage of convenience plot between an asexual BL fangirl and a gay man who never got over his childhood crush. I loved the relationship between the two characters and the depiction of a nontraditional family that still has love within it, even if it's not romantic.

Bonus- Music

I'm not one to look much in to the person behind the music, so I often don't know much about band members or singers of the music I listen to. However, there are two wonderful transgender artists that I listen to regularly in Japanese and couldn't pass up the opportunity to share their works with the world! Nakamura Ataru is a pop singer who also takes inspiration from traditional Japanese music. I love her enka styled songs such as 廃墟の森! The other artist is a bit more popular, and that's the rock band QUEEN BEE, whose lead singer is the incredibly talented Avu Chan. Avu Chan also voiced Inu Oh in one of my favorite movies, Inu Oh, which isn't (explicitly) queer, but is definitely worth watching anyways, even if just to hear Avu Chan's insane vocal abilities.

And so, those are (just a few) of my recommendations for Japanese queer reads to celebrate Pride month! If you have any recommendations for me, regardless of whether it's a movie or novel or manga or other, I would love to hear them!

[nalyra-dreaming]

I think sometimes the show is too smart for its audience.. the audience have been dumbing down historically and the subtlety of desire and love sometimes being in conflict with your values or even your freedom (louis, Claudia acceptance in the coven etc..) and desiring this cage with the balance of actually having autonomy (and not being 100% manipulated by armand) is too complex for the viewers

Some viewers were drawn by the visuals and oh look a cute hot poc couple but iwtv isn't the show to go to for healthy relationship representation if anything it would highlight that abuse neglect and power dynamics can also apply what ever the color of the participants. some audience might be uncomfortable with poc being complex villains and or neglectful parents (while loving claudia)

But it's a very grey narrative which the audience isn't comfortable with.

To some extend the removal of claudia Œdipe complex trying to manipulate louis into loving her romantically removed some of the most overt wtf of anne rice writing.. From a show theater perspective i hope they continue exploring and twisting the important philosophical concepts including daniel micro aggression and subtle racism and television/show busines role for kids.. its subtle but its there

None of them are heroes. If the fandom was more less about manicheisme we could actually deep deeper into the meta

:/

As per POC being complex villains - Jacob said it very well a while ago:

“Something that can get misunderstood about representation is that all representation has to be good representation. It’s important actually that we don’t show a queer couple as a monolith or a Black character as a monolithic thing. I love that the show is willing to explore the multitudes of that relationship.”

The show does not shy away from any toxicity, and I love them for it.

The color-conscious changes obviously bring their own problems because this show goes there. They have already gone much darker than I anticipated for episode three.

[sabov]

favourite opla details on first watch

sanji getting sniffly/teary-eyed at nojiko's story of her childhood he's such a softie

zoro's introductory standoff with mr 7 is a wonderful tribute to campy telenovela bandit style action and clearly produced with a lot of intentionality

revolutionary army cameo in newspaper i am taking ANY scrap of sabo i can get.

after waking from his coma zoro laughs and plays along with usopp's lies about chasing the fishmen away it's such a lovely detail. they're so found family

sanji's bright and then suddenly deeply sad smile after luffy says "i'd eat both my arms and legs to save zoro's life"

we only see shanks' young actor for a second but i love him he looks so pathetic and just. wounded.

i appreciate sanji saying lines like "women never say what they mean" it illustrates that even though his (demeaning) fawning over women is less present he still doesnt fully understand them and treats them as a different species. i hope as we get more seasons it's something he actually gets to work on as a character (as opposed to canon lol). clearly his relationship with women in this adaptation has been given a LOT of thought and i like how that thought shines through in some of his dialogue

nami's younger actress is perfect casting no notes

the scene between luffy zoro and usopp in the kitchen of kaya's mansion is so good.

i like the bait-and-switch for new viewers where at first you deliberately are led to interpret zeff as antagonistic to sanji before learning that there is far more there, i think it's really smart framing

koby's actor is killing it i think they play so well off luffy and have a really lovely genuine energy on screen

i like scottish garp. representation

the bounty posters flashing in front of each new foe and they cut through them. DELICIOUS. SUCH a campy yet intimidating visual flare

the attention given to nami and zoro's dynamic with each other is perfect and everything i wanted. toxic gay besties

[gale-gentlepenguin]

With Season 5 concluded, will you be doing a best and worst akuma designs created by Gabriel Agreste of each season?

Alright everybody it’s time for Gale’s

Akuma fashion show a Go Go

And rules as follows

1. They will be rated only for the season they appeared in, so unless they get a redesign or updated look they don’t count

2. For each season I will be ranking one best and one worst.

3. These are the opinions Based Solely on asthetic, I will not be taking into account their powers or abilities, or even if they are my favorite akuma.

4. Akuma only, so no heroes villains or sentimonsters.

_________________________________________

Season 1 Best and Worst

Best: Stormy weather

What can I say, the look is iconic for a reason, she set the bar high and she always blows away the competition.

The twisting hair, the purple dress and slick akuma shaped mask. Also the choice of weapon.

Worst: Animan

The problem is he has no original form. Vanisher also has the same problem but his just seems lazier considering he gets to be the main akuma in an episode.

Not much to say except do better

Season 2 Best and Worst

Best: Reverser

I love the symmetry of his design. It’s something Death the kid and Thanos would agree with. The asthetic works so well and while I’m grading on looks it’s neat how his power factors in.

Marc knocked it out of the park with this design

Worst: Gigatitan

It’s boring. It’s so standard that it’s not even bad. Some of the designs this season were weird but I can’t say they were awful. But this one is just bland. I will probably forget it after I post this

Season 3 Best and worst

Best: Desperada

I want to specify this is Solely asthetic. She isn’t my favorite akuma and the episode she is in is divisive, but I love her look. The music theme and bad ass rocker make up with touches of Gold. Different instrument weapons. Brilliant aesthetic.

Worst: Loveater

Season 3 had a lot of not that great designs but Loveater is a horrific monster. And is still the UGLIEST akuma to this day. It’s the embodiment of what a toxic relationship looks like.

Season 4 Best and worst

Best: Qilin

Originally I was going to put wishmaker on here, but Damn does this design Slap! And there are some solid designs. I just wish the episode debut was better. Outside of that, it’s just a cool armor and the glowing jade eyes are cool.

Worst: Ephemeral

If Loveater is the visual representation of a toxic relationship, Ephemeral is the visual representation of Child abuse. The design looks so wrong, looking like a neon grape and the sad look on his face sells it. While even the ugliest designs have some charm, this is just a crime to look at.

Season 5 Best and Worst

Best: Safari

It’s the best akuma design. The Hunter/Lara Croft tomb raider asthetic. The shades, then boots. The way her hair looks. The fit got me acting up. Plus while it’s unrelated to the asthetic, the way she tells Monarch to f*** off, and Provides the kwami swap episode we deserved. Easiest pick for me.

Worst: Sans-Culotte

She looks like a glob of toothpaste. I feel like she was in a Aquafresh commercial and while I get what they were going for… I hate the design. It doesn’t look good. It looks like she doesn’t have a nose.

[leportraitducadavre]

I don't know if you've written about it already, and if so you can just redirect me if you'd like, but there's obviously a lot of gay undertones to Naruto and Sasuke's relationship, and all the suggestive illustrations. How much of it do you think was consciously intentional by Kishimoto?

I'm sorry but what "clear undertones" are you referring to? Why does the friendship between two males have to be represented in a particular (usually Westernized) way so that it's not confused with romantic interest? It's prototyping homosexual romantic relationships so that they are labeled within a standard that the reader identifies them with.

It's perfectly fine to ship SNS if that's the desire of those who consume the manga, but to justify that choice on the premise that "Kishimoto planned it because there are clear indications of what I consider a homosexual romantic relationship to be" is dangerous (encapsulating homosexual relationships inside one specific dynamic diminishes the relevance of romantic LGTB+ bonds that do not develop on the same premise), and fetishizes same-gender relationships.

Kishimoto wrote similarly premised relationships throughout the manga, highlighting the relevance of having a "rivalry" between two people within shinobi culture, in that sense, Sasuke and Naruto are no different from other characters.

At the same time, this idea of a "romance clearly planned by the author" usually also hides the shipper's ideology that romantic love is intrinsically superior to any other kind, nullifying the relevance of other bonds that do not fall into this category. Sasuke is constantly relying on his love for his family to carry on throughout the manga, yet that bond is diminished by many SNS fans in order to give more relevance to his bond with Naruto. His friendship with the main character is also of incredible importance, yet somehow Sasuke considering Naruto his best friend isn't as relevant as him seeing him as a romantic partner, as that kind of bond is, to them, superior.

There is a huge market for queer products to enjoy within Japanese media and that is a much better place to explore such dynamics, as they are specifically designed to address such a demand. Seeking queer representation within products aimed at a largely cis-male, heteronormative audience encapsulates LGBT+ relationships under toxic and/or heteronormative codes and behaviors by stripping them of their self-identity and fetishizing their interactions in the process (here).

Furthermore, I've seen people questioning Kishimoto's own sexuality because "he's clearly a closeted gay as he wrote SNS" which destroys their whole stance as "LGTB+ supporters" because not only did they decide to publicly question the sexuality and "out" an author based on his fictional work, but also decided to lock same-gender relationships into a single dynamism, where the idea of "romance" is encapsulated in a largely antagonistic relationship with obsessive undertones. We call that "toxic" when it's a heterosexual relationship, so why wouldn't it be for a homosexual couple?

What exactly is different about that dynamic that allows an LGBT+ couple to explore the kind of bond that we consider toxic and unbalanced within a heterosexual relationship? Usually, many of these issues fall back on an internalized misogyny where, because women are usually inferior both physically and mentally to men, they cannot develop this kind of union in the same way that men can. The relationship remains equally toxic and dangerous for both parties, but because they now don't find a concrete visualization of this imbalance (because, again, they perceive women as inherently inferior to men), they do not regard it in this way.

As I've said, shipping SNS it's alright, I personally can't see any romantic dynamic to get behind in the manga (which is, again, a personal preference of mine as I don't think Kishimoto cared much for those types of bonds), finding queer subtext in media is a common practice and was born out of the need for representation of a minority within a highly repressive society; but to see it as the only valid reading of a product and justify the lack of canonization of the couple under the premise of "social homophobia" within a community that the shipper usually does not know anything about (such as Japan) is a dangerous and senseless practice. Even more so considering the well-known and mainstream Japanese Yaoi market that exists and could use more support.

I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude to you in any manner, but your ask allowed me to explore a difficult and important topic that I tried to address very carefully because I think that people got completely desensitized with and, in their attempt to become a "supporter", they fetishized LGTB+ relationships.

[cemetery-sunset]

🔪Johnny Sawyer Headcanons #1

Main Masterlist

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Masterlist

522 words

Appreciates Bobby’s passion for music, even if they don’t like the same genres. Johnny doesn’t like the hippy stuff, he prefers harder rock and aggressive music. 

Johnny likes having Sissy as a little sister figure, though he never tells her. They put on this act of they hate each other but they secretly would (and have) killed for each other. Being the two odd ones out/the “cousins”, they are closer with each other than they are with the other boys (they also get along with the boys, of course!).

His relationship with Sissy is complicated because he sees her potential to be like him, but he knows they don’t share the same views on things

Johnny is surprisingly really good at pool. He spends a lot of time in bars, scoping out his next victim, so it only makes sense that he knows how to play pool very well. 

Johnny is literally the cleanest member of the family. He washes every day and takes pride in his looks. He makes a point to say that “the bait has to look good to attract something good”. 

Even though he is the cleanliest, he doesn’t mind getting dirty at all. Johnny loves working outside, in the fields, barn, garage, etc. He loves getting dirty and seeing the visual representation of his hard work. He just likes to clean up at the end of a long day. 

Johnny takes pride in his space and alone time. He will not sleep in the Big House, or even Nancy’s (much to her dismay). He’ll enjoy meals there and hang out but he likes his nights at his own shack. 

His family makes fun of him for his attachment to Maria Flores. Sissy’s snuck into his shack and saw the missing poster above his ‘bed’ and now he never hears the end of it. 

Nancy is the reason why Johnny talks bad about hippies. He doesn’t actually think that but he’s just been basically brainwashed by Nancy and Drayton into those painfully toxic and traditional views. 

Johnny spends his free time working on cars and the mechanical aspects of the property. He usually prefers staying outside or in the garage inside some random car. 

He has the worst mommy issues. Johnny will do anything for his ‘Mama’ and she knows it. Nancy will play this man like a fiddle, whenever she wants and he can’t do anything about it. Johnny kills people when his Mama says, like Maria. And he’ll be a bitch to Drayton because he treats his Mama badly. He’ll even degrade and bully Sissy because his Mama doesn’t like when they get closer.

Johnny hates smokers. The smell and the taste of it just disgusts him. He has standards when it comes to his meals. He makes sure to always scope out good, healthy meat. No one who’s sick or an addict or anything like that. Even if a larger person would be easier to hunt and kill, he doesn’t like the way the meat tastes so he only goes for strong, lean people most of the time… he also loves a good chase and hunt.

[alargehunkofdebris]

The Flip-Flopping Confidence of Aziraphale

So I made a post a bit ago about Aziraphale’s reaction to the kiss, and someone very correctly pointed out that Aziraphale does not believe he is undesirable (as I had claimed in-essay), citing that one little look in the first scene, after Crowley calls the universe “gorgeous.”

This is so true. What the heck is with that look?

I’ve thought about it, and here are my thoughts.

Long story short, Aziraphale is a big ol’ ball of contradictions, as is what sometimes happens with people who’ve suffered in toxic relationships.

But short story long, however…

Okay, so first of all, Aziraphale’s happy little expectation thinking that a complete stranger would call him “gorgeous” out of absolutely nowhere is bonkers. No other word for it. If I met someone for the first time, and they called me “gorgeous” straight to my face, apropos of nothing, no lead up whatsoever, I would be looking over my shoulder, wondering what the hell they were referring to. So this is either a very angel thing to do (they could just go around complimenting each other back then, who knows) or—and this is kinda my opinion—this was just a funny foreshadow thing that Mr. Gaiman did for the fans and to set the tone of the season. Or a mix of both. Remember, this is portraying the beginning of time—this is before they even really had corporeal forms. What we see, I’m guessing, is less a purely accurate visual of what happened and merely a representation. A stage-play version of the events. Yes, this is a comedy that uses modernisms to juxtapose for humor (referencing lead balloons before balloons were even invented, etc) but we can still (if we want) imagine that, for this to logically work, this is just a way of conveying these events in a way our 21st century brains can handle. For all we know, these two were balls of energy, conversing in some ancient star language through telepathy. And at this point, appreciation for another’s form might’ve just been a common thing. They were all so gorgeous, they just went around appreciating each other.

I don’t think this was meant to be so deep dived, however (doved? doven?). I think Gaiman just wanted a cute scene that shows their flirtation from the beginning. But I will argue, still, that this is at a point where Aziraphale hadn’t developed any kind of self-esteem issues. He was a baby angel, used to compliments, or maybe just so new with interaction that he wouldn’t have been surprised by anything. Let’s just say this: the Aziraphale of modern day probably wouldn’t have made that assumption.

It's a sad thing to think, but I think the modern day Aziraphale is one who has lost a portion of the self-confidence he’d carried in that first scene.

Because he is, at heart, a confident person, even when all evidence contradicts that feeling. He feels confident he can do slight-of-hand magic when he barely can, for example. But, after 6000 years of living amongst the humans, I’d say he’s also nestled very comfortably into the role of observer, never truly a part of anything. He playacts, and has fun, but knows he’ll never be a true magician. He makes believe, and has fun, but he’d never be a real reporter. He puts on ball, and dances, but he’ll never truly experience romantic love.

I think this stems hugely from this concept of being a mediocre angel. He’s felt that, ever since he befriended a demon. He’s been an observer of the “good” angels, but was never quite up to snuff himself (with exception, likely, to the time before the Fall). Crowley, on the other hand, while technically has been a “bad” demon, has still maintained a great reputation in Hell because he’s just damn good at selling himself. Aziraphale is too honest to lie, so he’s always (in my head) been a subpar employee, even before Armageddon’t. And his bosses don’t have any qualms about reminding him—they belittle him constantly, familiarly. To the point where Aziraphale has internalized this nugget of self doubt that keeps him from taking risks, going against the status quo, etc.

I know very well this weird, contradictory feeling. One moment you feel hot, and self-confident, and like no one on Earth can touch you. The next, moment, that old standby mode kicks in, and your feeling 6/10 once more. It’s a reminder, a wake-up alarm – don’t go too far, bucko. Don’t get too big for your britches. Remember who you are.

The times he feels the least connected to this self-doubt, this built-up lack of self-confidence, is when he is just doing small things with Crowley, and usually when it’s not anything high-stakes that would involve Heaven/Hell. He can bicker happily with Crowley about the car, he can nettle Crowley into doing a little apology dance, he can put on a ball and have fun. These low-risk times are when he can let loose, be happy and confident and himself, because these small moments will go unnoticed by Heaven. He’s not at risk of his bubble being burst, of being told “stop that. Remember your place.”

And that voice, tell him to stop and remember his place, is what keeps his confidence in check for the big things. Things like acknowledging that he and Crowley are more than friends, that Crowley wants to be with him so badly. Because, technically, Crowley is a much more “impressive” being than Aziraphale, and always has been. He was a higher-ranking angel, and was the demon chosen to tempt the humans. Though Aziraphale had a big job (that he screwed up on immediately, of course) he was still not the top in his rank (I don’t know anything about the bible, but if he was the angel of the Eastern Gate, I always assumed there were more guarding the walls/gates). Aziraphale was always getting reprimanded for his work, and Crowley was getting praise. Aziraphale is so used to being the “lesser” angel that he might even apply that title to him and Crowley, and be shocked at the idea that a slick, laid-back, higher-ranking demon (who is not typically even capable of love, perhaps) could make an exception for such a mediocre being. Despite all their flirtations and years of friendship, Aziraphale still sees it as this kind of play-acting – a dance they do for fun, but it’s never serious.

This is, of course, just one opinion in my brain – there’s a lot of ways to interpret it, and I can’t decide which one I really believe. Because if Aziraphale really saw nothing there, then what was the “you go too fast for me, Crowley” all about? It could’ve just been yet another moment of “You go too fast…in friendship,” thing, but who knows.

What I do know is that there’s something always holding Aziraphale back from Crowley, but it is not for lack of want. Aziraphale wants it just as much as Crowley. But he’s got many, many potential things holding him back from even considering this life – fear of heaven, lack of self-confidence, lack of trust, etc. It’s all adding up to one thought, the theme that’s threaded through his long, long, life—you’re not allowed to do this. You’re an angel, nothing less, nothing more.

[yourbeautystudios]

“Blinded by Love” – Exploring the Obsession and Vulnerability of Love

Blog Written by: Eric Harris

At Your Beauty Studios, our projects are born out of a desire to capture raw emotions and tell stories that resonate deeply with the human experience. Our latest photography project, Blinded by Love, delves into the complex and often overwhelming nature of love, exploring how it can cloud judgment, consume individuals, and make them vulnerable. Through carefully crafted imagery, we invite viewers to reflect on the duality of love—its beauty and its dangers.

The Concept: When Love Becomes Blind

The phrase “blinded by love” is familiar, often used to describe situations where love distorts reality, making people overlook flaws or even harmful behavior. In this photoshoot, we aim to visually represent that metaphorical blindness, portraying love as both a source of joy and a potential trap. The images feature individuals who are metaphorically “blinded”—through symbolic props like blindfolds, shadowed lighting, or abstract elements—demonstrating how love can obscure one’s perception.

Themes of Vulnerability and Surrender

Love requires vulnerability—opening oneself to another person and, in many cases, surrendering control. This project captures moments of that surrender, showing how love can leave us exposed, for better or worse. Some photos highlight the beauty of this vulnerability: moments of trust, affection, and connection. Other images take a darker turn, revealing how being “blinded” by love can lead to manipulation, loss of self, or entrapment in toxic dynamics.

Visual Symbolism: The Blindfold

A recurring symbol throughout the shoot is the blindfold, representing how love can act as both a veil and a shield. The blindfold hides reality, preventing the wearer from seeing their surroundings clearly. It can symbolize passion, where people are so caught up in emotion they lose their sense of self or logic. However, in some photos, the blindfold is depicted as a protective barrier, suggesting that sometimes love protects us from harsh truths or painful realities.

The Tension Between Freedom and Constraint

One of the core tensions explored in this project is the balance between freedom and constraint in relationships. Love can liberate, offering emotional intimacy and personal growth. But it can also bind, creating dependencies or power imbalances. In the images, subjects appear in various states—some liberated, arms outstretched as if soaring with love’s freedom, while others are tied, bound by emotional or symbolic constraints. This contrast highlights the push and pull that love often brings into our lives.

A Reflection of Personal Experience

Each image in Blinded by Love reflects different aspects of relationships—some tender, others haunting. Our goal was to capture the universal yet deeply personal nature of love’s impact on individuals. Whether it’s the heady excitement of falling in love or the painful disillusionment when love fades, this project speaks to the highs and lows we all experience in our emotional lives. The use of stark contrasts in lighting and composition reinforces these emotional extremes.

The Emotional Palette: Love’s Many Shades

The photoshoot is rich with a dynamic color palette, from soft pastels that reflect tenderness and affection to deep, dramatic shades of red and black that symbolize passion, obsession, and danger. These visual cues are meant to evoke an emotional response, encouraging viewers to see love not as a single emotion but as a spectrum that can encompass everything from joy to despair.

Conclusion

Blinded by Love is more than just a visual representation of relationships—it’s a reflection on the ways love can empower us, but also how it can blind us to our own needs or reality. At Your Beauty Studios, we are passionate about creating artwork that challenges perceptions and encourages deeper reflection on emotions that define our lives. We hope this photoshoot sparks conversation about the duality of love—the beauty and the risk that come with surrendering ourselves to it.

http://instagram.com/yourbeautystudios

By: Eric Harris

[milgrambles]

Watched I Love You this morning, been thinking about it all day, and now that I've got time to cram all my disorganized thoughts in a Tumblr post, here they are!

The symbolism in this one is pretty straightforward: Mahiru and her boyfriend had an idyllic relationship on the surface, but in reality, their relationship was deeply unhealthy. Mahiru's love became overbearing (as it was the only solution to their problems that she knew), and her behavior and the state of the relationship pushed her boyfriend to suicide. The cake represents their love, the rats represent the toxicity beneath the illusion, in the woods they're both lost...again, it's straightforward, so I'm gonna dedicate this post to some of the details I've been thinking about.

The carousel is, I'm pretty sure, primarily a representation of the feedback loop of the codependency of the relationship. At least, I'm certain that's what the specific nature of their relationship was, considering Mahiru's whole "give and take" deal: a theme that's shared with Shidou, her counterpart. He takes (organs) until it can’t save his family, and she gives (obsessive love) until it suffocates her partner.

It also just adds to the visual representation of "Mahiru's idea of love and this relationship is a fantasy." By the time they're both worn out, the boyfriend "wants to get off the ride." But he can't-- presumably because the codependent nature of the relationship makes him just as attached as her. Considering the “Clothes Food Shelter” line, maybe he was also materially dependent on her as well.

This Is How To Be In Love With You heavily implies that Mahiru has some sort of great emotional turmoil deep down ("I suck at pretending to smile / But see! I feel great because of you," although this line in particular and her insistence that she isn’t in physical pain in her voice drama could also point towards codependency), and her insistence on hinging her identity on the concept of love definitely isn't a good sign for her mental health. I suspect her boyfriend was similarly struggling, even before the relationship got so bad that he turned to suicide. There's a couple of lines in This Is How To Be In Love With You that refer to mutual pain, and the Corpse Reviver recipe could be symbolic of the boyfriend (or Mahiru, or even both of them) being "revived" from feelings of hopelessness or depression by love.

It's interesting to me that the rat poisoning scene is even there in the first place, because I think "being stuffed with cake even after you become ill from it, as its delicious taste no longer matters and all you can think about is how unhealthy it is" is a very fitting metaphor for this relationship on its own. Probably just to hammer in the "delusion/perception vs reality" thing, and how Mahiru’s actions came from both her fantastical idealism and her lack of self-awareness. Obsessing over Believing in the power of love “saved” her by giving her a reason to live, so surely it would save her boyfriend no matter what, right?

Speaking of which, the spirals in Mahiru's eyes here create a familiar color palette!

Finally, I’m not sure how to segue into this, but one thing that’s been bugging me is that... I have no idea why the boyfriend's body is wet in the first scene of the music video? Especially since it's dry by the end of it?

I’m sure others have probably come up with explanations, but I’m way too tired and busy to keep fixating on Milgram right now and I don’t even know how important it is in the end. Maybe I’ll come back to this later.

[fategoflatass]

final thoughts · fall 2022

since i know there're people who like to read my opinions on the different seasons, here you have my thoughts on this (HOLY SHIT OMG WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???????????) season.

akiba meido sensou (7.5/10)

so, i never meant to watch this show. i thought it would be just another CGDCT slice of life where maids do their maid stuff, and they have fun... I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS THO. this series is crazy, like, the first ep starts with a maid being shot in the head like ??????? and then ranko (best girl imo) starts shooting this rival maid group along with a cutsie song like ??????????????? i was both confused and charmed. this anime is such a blast, it's filled with twists and turns, random shit that it's bizarre but it also makes so much sense. i can't fully explain it, you need to watch it.

akuyaku reijou nano de last boss wo kattemimashita (4/10)

dear lord the toxicity here is astronomical. the way i was looking for a hamefura replacement and i ended up getting this... i feel scammed. this was meant to be a fantasy romance story, but it ended up being a contest to see who's the most toxic person in the relationship. between throwing someone out of a flying carriage just to see them cry and almost stabbing someone on the crotch because they want to break off their engagement with you... i don't know who's worse. they totally deserve each other.

blue lock (8.5-8/10)

i cannot decide myself on what rating i should give to it. while i do love bllk and think is one of the best sports series i've ever read, 8-bit's adaptation is... interesting. while i did think the first episode was amazing, the visual level just started dropping. some of the hand-drawn animation looks weird, and the cgi sometimes looks like it has been taken from a mobile game. i have mixed feelings with these series; while it's still fun and interesting, it just doesn't kick me as much in the chest as the manga does. if you wanna start bllk, please read the manga first.

bocchi the rock! (6.5/10)

as i said before, i'm not a big fan of CGDCT, and this series is just that. i was into the music part of the series and bocchi's social phobia (which, as someone who went through it, i think it's a pretty good representation), but it's still not my cup of tea. it bores me at times, and i'm the one to blame. it's not bad, it's just not my thing. if you're into this kinda stuff, i fully recommend it.

boku no hero academia 6 (8/10)

NOW THAT IS A GOOD SEASON. this one's adapting one of (if not the) best arcs in the series and hell yeah i'm hyped. in case someone hasn't started it, i won't spoil anything. i'll just tell you to please not worry about the quality: the art, animation and everything in general is being tretaed with so much thought and love. i'm just so happy to see all of them back!

boku no roboco (4/10)

(at this point, i've only watched two eps. my opinion on the series may change) i know the manga is popular, i know it makes a lot of anime references. i wanted to try giving it a chance and oh lord. first, it's difficult to find. second, it isn't even funny. if i'm not dropping it is because the episodes are short and fuck it. but not because you make a shit tone of anime references means that you're gonna be funny.

c danchi (1/10)

chainsaw man (9/10)

i'll just leave this here and go on with my life.

GUYS. GUYS. IT'S FINALLY HERE. BABE'S FINALLY HERE. AND OH LORD SHE'S LOOKING AMAZING. i've been waiting for this series for so long, (since it first got announced like holy fuck the feels). i have the entire part one on my bookshelf and it brings me so much joy (and tears and trauma and—) to finally see it animated. the animation, the art, the music, the voices— everything is just fantastic, perfect even. the op is a banger and each and every ed is just so good (some better than others imo). i'm so happy mappa were the ones that took the project like omg thanks mappa but fr fr. if i'm not giving it a higher note is because i'm afraid that would be my inner fangirl speaking so yeah. my children look perfect, that's enough for me. and fuck those who complain about the cgi istg—

cool doji danshi (7/10)

just a pretty chill slice of life short series about a bunch of dorks trying to survive in the wild. they're all so relatable and idk what to think about it. babe's also pretty absent-minded, so this is pretty comfy to me... is this how #representation feels like? besides that, there's not much to say about it since it's just... that. they exist, and i'm happy they do.

do it yourself!! (5/10)

how many times have i said i don't like CGDCT series? many times, but i still go and watch them. why? because i'm dumb ig. it's just a series about a bunch of girls doing bricolage, that's pretty much it.

fumetsu no anata e 2 (8/10)

second season of "don't get attached to the cast because they're all going to die". at this rate, i think i'm made of stone because i haven't shead a tear in the entire series. i'm also getting use to the show's formula (introduce new character → make you feel attached to them → kill them), so ig that's also why i don't feel that sad anymore? idk, i do feel sad but not that sad yk. anyway, is as good as the first season so you should give it a try.

fuufu ijou, koibito miman. (6.5/10)

i started not liking the series (the male mc was annoying to me and i felt like he would only see the girls by their "personality"), but i ended up getting attached in some sort of way? it's an easy to watch, funny romcom that, even if it's nothing special, will entertain you for the time being.

kage no jitsuryokusha ni naritakute! (5.5/10)

i like the idea, but not the execution. i mean, kinda. it started being a parody of isekai series, but i feel like isekai is slowly but surely eating the show alive. i'm not that interested on the plot and the ecchi scenes and comments are... something. to give you some example: there was this scene where these girls would pose in ways others could check their breasts better and perceive them as bigger than their opponent's. or maybe the many comments they do about the protagonist's dick being a fricking sword????? umm not thank you.

koukyuu no karasu (7/10)

a historical fantasy shoujo series with interesting plot points and a cute romance?? hell yeah, count me in! each and every character is lovable af and trust me when i tell you you'll never get bored. the art is so cute and comfortable (idk how to explain it), and the romance is just... i just want them to date already, am i asking too much? definitely give it a chance.

mairimashita! iruma-kun 3 (8/10)

new iruma season and the first one i'm watching as it's coming out. the children are back and more chaotic than ever in this new arc (the best one yet, from what i heard). i just can't stress enough how this series makes me feel, how comfy it makes me feel. i've connected with the characters in such a way it just makes me smile every time each and every single one of them just appears on the screen. i'm so excited to see who'll win! (no spoilers please)

mob psycho 100 III (8.5/10)

this isn't the last season. no, i refuse to accept it. even though many characters are getting their closures and all this chaos is going on and every wish of them to have a happy life has turned to ash. this is not the end. and that never happened. no. just. leave me alone.

mushikaburi-hime (6/10)

so, they're trying to bring historical shoujos back and while we did get some interesting results (koukuuu no karasu), we also got series like mushikaburi-hime. the series is about a girl who is obssesed with books and a dude that isn't, but because he likes her he's up to deal with that little trait of hers. and... that's pretty much it. the series revolves around their relationship (which sometimes turns a bit toxic due to the male mc). the female mc hasn't progressed in over ten episodes, she won't progress now. if you're interested, there it is. but it's not a series i would recommend.

renai flops (7/10)

i said it before: i love shitshows. this one seemed to be a parody on ecchi, harem series which caught my eye. i mean, the first ep involves the dog scene which is one of the most bizarre scenes i've seen on any romcom. at first, i was gonna watch it for the laughs from how bad it all was, but then the second half happened and it changed my view on the series. from a parody that makes things absurd on purpose to something else. i would recommend anyone who's interested to watch it and please, do not spoil yourself.

shinobi no itokki (4/10)

this show is about a dude who goes to high school and he gets confessed to by a girl he doesn't know. only that it wasn't a confession but a trap, because that girl was a ninja and was trying to kidnap him. but he's able to runaway because he has all these ninja abilities that his mother forced him to learn and never questioned why. and then his mum tell him they're actually ninjas and now he has to go to this ninja school that's literally a high school building in the middle of nowhere like ????? i thought ninjas were discreet???? except no one cares about the school because then someone (don't ask, don't remember) gets betrayed and blames the dude's clan and shit happens and wth is going on????

spy x family part 2 (8.5/10)

part two of this very wholesome but also very fake family! their shenanigans are as crazy as they were in part one, and we got introduced to our queen, fiona. also, the main fake couple are growing closer due to the mission and i think that's pretty cool now get married for real this time.

tensei shitara ken deshita (6/10)

just your average isekai with better than average animation and a wholesome bond between both leads. besides that, i have no much to say about it. i absolutely adore fran and amanda, but the whole idea of fran being op almost from the start is frustrating. i wanna see her grow, but this left me kinda cold.

urusei yatsura (6.5/10)

many people were hyping this show, and i do understand why. after all, it's pretty rough fighting against nostalgia. still, even though the visuals are so cute and the op and ed are pretty good, it just shows the series it's an old one. the comedy falls flat at times along with some characters, although it's still enjoyable. i don't know if i'll keep on watching the second season, but for now i don't feel like dropping it.

uzaki-chan wa asobitai! ω (6/10)

so, uzaki is back. the first season has never been one of my favorites, but i decided to give the second season a try and watch it as it was coming out and... well, it's uzaki. for some of y'all it may be hilarious, but to me it's just fine. it's boring most of the time, although i do like the idea of the mcs dating (please do so for fuck's sake). if you're into this kind of comedy, you should give it a try.

[justoneday-namjoonii]

rip jungkook (and also maybe jin) when he reunites with the mc and realizes what has happened in the meantime... I hope you don’t feel pressured one way or the other on who she should end up with, personally I’ve had fun with all her romance options although I feel that all of them are to some extent using her to “band-aid” other issues in their lives. To jk she’s kinda like a replica of his mother and a person who can’t abandon him like his family, to jm she’s a fix to his insecurities about being used and overshadowed by others, to yg she’s a way to prove to himself that he isn’t exactly like his dad (and maybe even acts as a jin replacement?) and it leads to very selfish behavior from all of them. It’s hard to tell who would have fallen for her if they lived different lives where none of the above are true. I kinda get why jin was so appalled at the idea of her dating anyone from the gangs lol it’d be funny if she was like “I’m sick of everyone’s bullshit!” and moved on from all of them 💀

also idk if you’ve heard about the architect vs gardener types of writers but I’m curious about whether you’ve had an ending set in your head from the start (architect) or if you’ve let the story take its own course and changed your mind while writing (gardener). if it’s the gardener one I’ll be back when the series ends to ask you to talk to us about other ideas you had along the way!

sorry for the rant, I’ve had these thoughts for some time and let them all out rn lol (also rip namjoon you had too much swag they had to kill you 🕊)

*visual representation of me ruining my characters lives**

thank you for this in depth analysis!! omg, I really enjoy this type of dialogue with you beautiful readers💞 your interpretation is sooo good, her romantic adventures have been so interesting to write. The Jk x Y/n is different from the yoongi x Y/n, and the jm x y/n is just a whole hot mess. I think what I like about jk and yn the most is how youthful their attraction is, even though it’s painfully toxic. It’s something that doesn’t get old. There’s still a lot left unsaid there, Jungkook broke it off because Y/n could not grow past where the relationship had ended. And Jin has every reason to not want her with any of them, he grew up with them and knows their bullshit very well. That’s the one area he truly cares about Y/n, he genuinely doesn’t want her to be with them, his heart is there at least.

I won’t even touch on Jimin lol. Yoongi’s though, it took MONTHS for me to bring them together. Like even I was feeling awkward during some of their scenes. But I eventually got a flow the other day!! Things just started to fall into place in my mind and I’m happy with how it come out🥹 I think you said it best, being with her is a way for him to prove that he’s not like his father. It’s a bit ironic. He’s having to revert back to his old ways, similar to his father—but in terms of his love life? Or lack there of, he’s done a 180 and that’s what I really like about their dynamic

I’ve actually never heard about that!! But that’s so cool, I am definitely an architect (with gardener tendencies) 👉👈 from the very beginning, since the prologue, it was always going to be Yoongi falling for her. As I’ve written, there have always been pivotal moments that I plan, and then I just have to write myself there. It’s a bit chaotic but it works😅

NEVE APOLOGIZE FOR THE RANT, I’m a yapper myself so I love to hear different perspectives and share my own. I actually really appreciate it so much💕

😩😂🥹 yes RIP, he was a real chaotic evil, the ultimate OP of my dreams… but in true Namjoon fashion, even in death he’s got his own plan✨

[catgirl-catboy]

1 + 24 for the fandom asks!

(link for ask game)

24.) how has fandom positively impacted your life? I won't get too personal, but one of my fandoms caused me to realize I was in a toxic relationship. Very much appreciated.

1.) list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

all of them? here goes! Under the cut for your sanity.

Dangan: - Single-handedly got me through the pandemic, mental health wise - Most personally relateable depiction of an autistic character, even if he isn't 'canon autistic' - Got me into writing! fourth because my main fandom + indecisive. - met my best friend because of it! Ace Attorney: - Has some of the best female characters. I love them. <3 - Introduced me to some of my favorite streamers. - Nobody does family legacy like Ace Attorney, with the Lannisters in a distant second. Tywin would be fuming about that, if he knew.

Homestuck: - Has one of my favorite depictions of a disabled person in Terezi. (Other is Peril from Wings of Fire if you are curious.) - Found it during the exact part of my life when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, and the canon queer characters really helped. I actually started reading it on my 13th birthday, since a friend made a homestuck joke about the day and I was curious. - Made me feel like I could still tell a story even if I wasn't an amazing artist.

One Piece: - Best. Worldbuilding. Ever. - Asides from ships featuring my squick of large age gaps, there are no ships I dislike. Every character has a good dynamic with every other. - Has the highest fanfiction quality out of all my fandoms, don't tell my other fandoms. Hazbin/Helluva: - Waiting for it to come out helped with my mental health and visualize the future. - Has a canon Sapphic ship that I relate to, which is a rarity. (I'm happy for all canon rep, but most just aren't me, you know?) - Best representation of abuse I've personally seen. Madoka: - I feel like I never run out of ideas for Madoka!!! Has beaten my writer's block so many times. - Best fanart quality out of all my fandoms, don't tell my other fandoms! - I've seen NO Madoka discourse. Peaceful. Love it here. Asoiaf: - I love that it has so many GNC women, and none of them feel cliche. Arya, Brienne, Dany. None of them are just "the tomboy". ASOIAF doesn't have the best track record with women, but I do appreciate the hell out of that. - As an abusive relationship enjoyer, THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS. Currently enjoying everything with Ramsay because I am... predictable. - There's so goddamn much of it. Can I ever run out of shit? Probably not.

Death Note: - Watched it with a friend I no longer talk to but hold in high esteem. - The fandom is so goddamn funny you do not know! - Got me into anime. I wouldn't enjoy any of my other fandoms without death note.

[lyriclens]

Blog Entry #5

"Gunshot" by KARD – A Raw Examination of Toxic Love

KARD, a South Korean co-ed group under DSP Media, has been making waves in the K-pop scene since their debut in 2016. The group has challenged the K-pop scene by debuting in a group with both men and women, which is completely unusual in the industry. With their unique group structure and captivating music and performances, they paved their way into the hearts of their global fans. Known for their unique blend of EDM, hip-hop, and tropical house, KARD consists of four talented members: J.Seph, BM, Somin, and Jiwoo. They have consistently pushed boundaries with their innovative music, captivating performances, and powerful skills. The group has been constantly releasing tracks that convey significant and powerful messages, and "Gunshot" is one of them.

"Gunshot," one of their standout tracks, tackles complex and emotionally charged themes, delivering a powerful message that makes it relatable to the listeners. This soundtrack centers in a toxic relationship wherein negative words are continuously fired like bullets. It doesn't only apply to relationships but also in friendships where we tend to say hurtful words that we didn't mean. Stumbling upon this track is meaningful to me as it serves as a blanket that comforts me and validates my feelings. The music video itself is also impressive as it also offers the listeners a visual representation of the lyrics and message of the track.

Lyrics Analysis

The song opens with the haunting line, "LOVE damn 4 letters," setting the tone for what’s to come. KARD is describing what love feels like in their current situation, which is being trapped in a toxic relationship. This song doesn't sugar-coat the harsh reality of a love that has gone wrong and the response of the individuals in the relationship. What makes this song impactful is that the song lays the message transparently and clearly. With the opening lyrics and the intensity of delivery from Somi, it felt like she was sharing a personal story to listeners.

As the beat dropped, the intensity of the track picked up, mirroring the emotions conveyed through the track. BM and J.Seph’s rap verses will immediately strike you, with lines like "Endless War / Again, Endlessly More" painting a picture of a toxic relationship that only hurts the individuals inside of it. It also emphasizes that the pain caused by hurtful words is a constant scenario that happens endlessly and that the members are fighter an endless war of pain. The lyrics "Piercing words, like bullets they are" emphasized the message this track wanted to convey. How hurtful words are not just words that can be thrown carelessly as it can also inflict pain on people. Their words were like bullets, each one piercing deeper into the heart, and it shows that the effect of these hurtful words can also be much worse than we thought it could be.

The chorus, sang by Jiwoo, was powerful that it would immediately make you feel her pain. Her voice soared as she sang, "Your words are like a gunshot / I’m bleeding love." It was impossible not to feel the weight of her words. Jiwoo was able to deliver her lines in a way that would share her pain with the listeners. The metaphor of love as a weapon and words as bullets is an impactful metaphor. This imagery is relatable—who hasn’t felt the sting of hurtful words from someone they love? Those hurtful words are more painful when it comes from the people we love and trust.

As the song progressed, the narrative deepened. The bridge offered a moment of reflection, a pause in the chaos. "Woah, answer when I’m calling / Without you, dying slowly," they sang. It was a moment of vulnerability, a plea for understanding amidst the turmoil. The emotional depth of "Gunshot" is what sets it apart from other songs about love and heartbreak. By the end of the song, as Jiwoo's final notes faded, I found myself sitting in silence, reflecting on the track I just listened to. "Gunshot" isn’t just a song; it’s a story, a raw and unfiltered look at the pain of toxic love. KARD’s ability to convey such powerful emotions through their music shows their artistry.

In conclusion, "Gunshot" by KARD is a powerful portrayal of the darker side of love. It's a song that will immediately suck you in with its instrumental and lyrics. KARD has once again proven that they are not afraid to tackle difficult themes, delivering a track that is as thought-provoking as it is emotionally charged. If you haven’t listened to "Gunshot" yet, do yourself a favor and experience it. Just be prepared for it to hit you right in the feels.

Ratings for "Gunshot" by KARD

- Lyrics: 9/10

The lyrics are intensely emotional and raw, portraying the painful realities of a toxic relationship with striking metaphors, and this makes the track relatable to its listeners.

- Vocals: 9/10

The delivery of lines is beautifully executed, Jiwoo and Somin were able to deliver the emotional weight of the lyrics and song itself. Moreover, BM and J.Seph’s rap verses add intensity, and the lyrics were also written in a way that can perfectly describe the pain of a toxic relationship.

- Emotional Impact: 10/10

"Gunshot" is an outstanding track that excels in delivering a heavy and emotional theme. The raw honesty of the lyrics combined with the powerful delivery makes it a track that listeners would immediately understand and relate to.

- Production: 9/10

The blend of beats and melodies creates a sense of urgency and heightens the emotional stakes of the song.

- Replay Value: 8.5/10

The narrative and emotional depth make "Gunshot" a song that listeners will return to. Its powerful message and captivating delivery ensure it remains impactful with each listen.

Overall Rating: 9/10

"Gunshot" by KARD is a track that delves into the complexities of toxic love with raw honesty and emotional depth. Its powerful lyrics, compelling vocals, and dynamic production make it an essential listen.

[thebandcampdiaries]

Wall of Fire presents: Defying heights

June 2023 - Belgian band Wall of Fire has recently announced a new album titled “Defying Heights.” This excellent studio work is an insight into the band’s varied sound and one-of-a-kind pop-rock formula. 

This release is notable for its eclectic mix of influences, which are reminiscent of artists as diverse as Anouk, Francis Moon, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, or Foo Fighters, only to mention some. 

What makes “Defying Heights” such a special album is the underlying concept that binds the songs together. By presenting different moods to represent a person’s state of mind at various stages of life, Wall of Fire has created an amazing album experience that will resonate with audiences of all ages. It’s like a soundtrack to exploring feelings, dealing with relationships, and simply living life, trying to fight for something better!

As we all know, life is full of ups and downs, and people often feel different at various moments in time. Whether it's a heartache, a disappointment, or a moment of triumph, our state of mind can vary greatly depending on what's happening in our lives. Wall of Fire managed to captures these moments perfectly in their music, particularly through the acoustic guitar tones that infuse the album. It’s easy to see why “Defying Heights” is such a perfect title for this idea! Listeners will be transported on a journey that mirrors their own experiences, making this album relatable and deeply moving, but also very fun and enjoyable.

The band's focus on creating music that's pop-rock at its core is evident throughout the album. However, the three members of Wall of Fire also love to spice things up with a truly diverse range of influences. This blend of styles makes for a unique twist that's all their own. “Hold Me Tight” and “Night and Day” are two of the highlights on the album, showcasing the band's versatility and talent.

“Hold Me Tight” is a romantic, nostalgic love song with a charming tone and a one-of-a-kind twist. The 3/4 time signature and the acoustic guitars lead to a very hypnotic sound, reminiscent of early Radiohead, but with a unique twist. The choruses take the song to a whole new level of depth and intensity, especially as the electric guitars take flight, soaring with some stunning live and a creamy overdriven sound.

“Night and Day” is another fantastic song, and it is actually the first track on the album’s set list. Right off the bat, it has a very upbeat sound, which immediately gives the audience so much energy! Thematically, this song deals with the concept of coming to terms with being stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship and realizing that even though love might have skewed the right perspective, being stuck with a toxic partner never leads to anything good! This song has a dark theme, but it is also hopeful in a way, with a sound that’s reactionary, reminding people to keep fighting for their lives and to get rid of bad, negative people in their lives.

The aforementioned songs are only two of the many highlights on this fantastic studio album, which offers a total of 11 songs. 

To conclude, “Defying Heights” is an album that is really all about facing adversity and being resilient in order to overcome the challenges that life throws our way. From relationships going wrong to toxic people taking over our lives, Wall of Fire tackles tough topics head-on with their music. By doing so, they offer a message of hope and empowerment to their listeners. This release is a powerful reminder that there is always a way forward, if we do not stop fighting and keep believing in ourselves! Even the beautiful album cover itself seems to be a beautiful visual representations of this. The images shows colorful gems coming out of a dark terrain, perhaps a metaphor that life’s precious moments are worth fighting for, and that gems aren’t really easy to come by, unless you’re ready to get your hands in the dirt!

Find out more about Wall Of Fire and don’t pass up on “Defying Heights:”

https://www.facebook.com/walloffiremusic

https://vi.be/platform/walloffire

[mollsmediaspace]

Critical Evaluation

The male gaze hypothesis has influenced media and visual arts over many years through unequal portrayal that oversexualizes the female image. This is where the ongoing pattern of degrading women had become normalized and encouraged young girls to feel the need to please the male gender. I've responded to this by directing a brand-new music video with the intention of breaking convention by giving the character of Zoe a more positive representation of women. We created the narrative of a toxic romantic relationship using a group of four people to challenge common misconceptions about mentally abusive relationships. The video also illustrates how love is represented in the digital world, where it has evolved over time from a traditional romance story to an intoxicating modern romance. With the stereotypical representations in the music industry, I have the goal of promoting better role models for women and healthier relationships. To create a sense of nostalgia, I decided to go with a retro aesthetic that is represented in the promotional items. A varied audience is targeted by this innovative strategy and branding. The music video contains cinematic photographs and videos, which follow the themes of a retro 90s aesthetic. I feel like this emphasizes the youthful fun-lovingness of the time. As a whole, this music video aims to challenge the male gaze theory and advance more positive portrayals of women and romantic relationships in the music Industry.

The male gaze theory, introduced by Laura Mulvey, explains how media and visual arts have historically been constructed through a male perspective, resulting in images and narratives that cater to a heterosexual male audience validating their needs of catharsis. The music industry is a prime example of this, with women often being objectified in music videos and portrayed as objects of desire to sell music. Unfortunately, this perpetuates the trend of over-sexualizing females for male attention and degrades the female population, especially young girls who are influenced by this culture. So much so that females have begun to view it as a culture to look up to. This includes the young female population, with so little information around the world about women's rights and female equality, along with these young girls out look of the ways females should be treated is degrading the female population encouraging them to feel the need to be pleasing the male gender on a regular basis. Not only is this damaging for the young female generation, but it is also an ongoing encouragement for the male society to allow themself to continue sexualizing and symbolizing women as objects. Due to these circumstances, I have decided to move in a different direction breaking this convention by representing women in a more angelic and dominant way through the character of Zoe. As a teenager surrounded by other young people experiencing multiple traumas from toxic relationships having been in one myself filled with both emotional and physical abuse, I have found it truly degrading the way that this generation and the society have continued to romanticize toxic behavior and abuse. Therefore, I have chosen the storyline for the music video surrounding this controversial issue. This music video showcases a toxic romantic relationship to challenge the stereotypes that come with gangster partners and mistreatment. To signify the reasons for society romanticizing toxic romance, The video starts with scenes of blissful happiness to glamorize the relationship and show audiences the happy moments that people in cling onto. As quick cuts started appearing audiences were finally shown to the reality behind the relationship and the intense damage it brings to each character's life. As the music video continues viewers will start to notice the impact of how bad the fights had become, However, the video also shows the reality behind their relationship and the damage it brings to each character's life. Continuing into this direction there is a scene in the music video of Alex's character seen swiping through an online dating app, this scene was explored in order to present the ongoing growth of the social media world and its recently noticed effects on romantic relationships through issues such as cheating scandals. Through decades of simplicity and being able to appreciate the little elements of love from writing love letters, poems and taking digital photos of your lover, this generation has brought us to dating apps, nude images being swapped and the easy access of communication through "sliding into dms". This representation sends a message to society that toxic relationships are not worth the slight moments of happiness and the digital world's representation of love has damaged the traditional way of love. Overall, I hope to challenge the male gaze theory and promote a healthier representation of women and relationships in the music industry I also hope I’d express the concerns of how the digital worlds representation of love has damaged the way traditional love is supposed to be.  

Moving on to the promotion side of things, In order to present our brand in a creative, fun, and cohesive way, we chose a theme that connected to our music video. Whether that's through referencing the lyrics, colors, or atmosphere seen in the video. To tie all of our promotional products together, we opted for a vintage style that is reflected in our designs. Our designs have a lot in common and one of our main stands out points is the art designs we create as a unique characteristic for each of our products. Through this consistent theme of similar vintage styles inspired from the 2000s era we created a clear theme throughout, targeting young adults who are interested in edgy or vintage styles. As an R&B song, we appeal to a broad audience and explore different aspects of time, location, and costume in the music video which can apply to a large range of audiences. With the music video being filmed on a small Island we've connected the themes of vintage with the life of young people living freely on a small island, along with that comes our storyline with the representation of toxic relationships. All together these aspects create a unique sense of style which I believe will capture the attention of a wide variety of social groups. This can include being understood by certain stereotypes such as island communities, young adults who love to party, people who have experienced or been in any kind of relationship or any young person living their best life in general. These particular social groups are able to either relate or understand either one of the characters or the lifestyles of each character in the video. To further diversify our video without limiting our audience, we offer a broad range of promotional products, including comic books, mugs, record players, vintage posters, and clothing, among others. Through this broad selection of objects, I felt this was a smart way of diversifying our video without simplifying it to a small ratio of audiences and buyers. Our cohesive color palette, featuring different shades of pink and purple, is carried through the music video and promotional materials, tying everything together with the title of the song “The color Violet”.  Overall, we believe that our creative approach and cohesive branding will appeal to a wide range of people and make a lasting impression.

Following that, I have chosen to stick to a similar theme throughout both the video and the promotion process to create a sense of nostalgia and reality. We have included film photos and videos in our music video. This is to replicate the vintage 90s trend of the older generation only having access to vintage quality images through a film camera. Using film cameras also brings out the aesthetic of fun fulfilled youthfulness, surrounded by many young adults who are part of the island culture. This approach targets both our young and older audience groups, as it may give the older viewers a sense of nostalgia and memories. While younger audiences may get a glimpse of the kind of lifestyle and culture, they may be experiencing for themselves.  

This will allow engagement to be even greater as it is more than just any song or music video, but it is being seen as a message or real-life story. In the promotional side we have created a website along with a social media page on Instagram with the user as “Anchan productions” which contain aesthetic content connecting to the theme of our video. We use this page as a way to encourage audiences and viewers to get excited and let them know of all that we have to offer including merch, promotional posters and band practices. Anchan Productions is the record company name we’ve decided to call ourselves. To know more about us there is more information given on our website on google to let viewers know of the roles of each of our group members and each of our talents.

For those who watch our music video with a history or experience of a toxic relationship, whether it's their own or witnessed by someone close to them, it can serve to reflect on and be grateful for learning from those bad experiences. This creates empathy for our characters as viewers may feel a sense of personal identity, believing they were in the character's shoes or know how it feels. This will allow engagement to be even greater as it adds more meaning to the music video, making it more than just a song or music video, but a message or a real-life story. To promote our music video, we have created a website and social media page on Instagram with the username "Anchan productions". The word “Anchan” describes a purple flower which symbolizes love connecting to the theme of our video. We use this page to showcase aesthetic content related to the theme of our video and encourage audiences and viewers to get excited about what we have to offer, including merch, promotional posters, and band practices. Anchan Production is the record company name we’ve decided to call ourselves. To know more about us there is more information given on our website on google that explains the roles of each group member and their respective talents.

Lastly Through my personal goals of creating a unique brand and music video which stands out from the rest, we have included a few uncommon conventions in order to move in a more personal direction so that we produce more than just a plain R&B music video like any other. Our video challenges conventions as there are no singer lip singing in our song. I intended for this music video to be a point of view for society overall rather than specifically focusing the storyline on the characters. These characters are rather used to convey meaning expressing this toxic experience through representation of other real-life experiences. To continue from representations spoken about earlier, I decided to prevent the echo chambers where females are often depicted wearing revealing clothing, dancing provocatively, and engaging in sexually suggestive behavior. I decided I wanted to give off the opposite impression labelling the female character as the star of the video. I scripted all the scenes for each character in a way that shows the female character with full control, confidence, power challenging the conventions of many other music videos which reinforces the idea that women are primarily valued for their physical attractiveness and sexual desirability, rather than their talents, skills, or personality traits. Although we included signs of jealousy, anger and vulnerability through the female character we still made sure to never over sexualize her through the ways we encouraged audiences to look up to her as the male character did. This goes against multiple examples of the usual hip hop music videos which show men throwing money and a female's body which encourages mistreatment towards females from anyone's point of view. This stereotype can have harmful effects on women, contributing to a culture that objectifies and devalues them. It can also perpetuate harmful attitudes and behaviors towards women, such as sexual harassment and assault especially from those audiences with little thought process and passively take in all they view on the media as a good example, this includes young male audiences who end up reducing females to few simpler characteristics or traits Un equalizing females through the representation theory. They are underrepresented in the creative process of producing and writing music. This perpetuates the idea that women are less capable than men and reinforces the male gaze by limiting the perspectives and experiences that are represented in music. With this video I hope to encourage young females the opposite message finally valuing the worth of a female in a way she should be valued. This way I hope to work towards creating a more inclusive and respectful culture that values women for their whole selves, not just their physical appearance or sexuality.  

In conclusion I believe this music video was a great example of the female empowerment and appreciation that should be more expressed in the music industry, especially in this day and age. I hope that I have directed and developed a music video which successfully challenges conventions in the eyes of my viewers, especially to those part of a young age group of females so they don’t quickly develop the wrong stereotypes from other music videos in the industry. Along with that I want there to be an end to the culture of romanticizing toxic relationships through this video. This is so that my audiences can see potential real-life situations clearer and do what is right. I am extremely happy with the final version of this video, and I hope that the message put into it can make as big as an impact and affect as it does visually.