#love me some movements music THEIR STUFF-ALL IS ‘YOUR ORIGIN’ CODED…

[flovoid]

If you gotta walk through hell It won't be without my help The waters getting too high Lost in the swell I can see it in your eyes You've tried too many times You're looking for a way out

[monkey-network]

Why EVE is The Best

Heads up. I’m basically gonna sperg about this whole film, so spoilers for this twelve year old film. Enjoy!

Wall-E is one of my favorite films; I would gladly kill and extort to bring the sequel I had in mind to life in any way; animatics would pleased me if nothing else but anyways. I love this film and one of the biggest reasons for that is the character EVE, a character that stuck in my mind longer than most if you can believe. So, better time than any, Imma just ramble about why I love this character. And, before we begin, I’m gonna say EVE is a girl, Wall-E is a boy due to my brain believing they were respectively female- and male-coded for most of my life but do NOT let this stop you from envisioning them however you please. If they’re both girls or boys to you, all power to you. With that said, here we go...

The Design

Now I’m not saying she has the greatest robot design ever; I don’t look at eggs and remember better days when I got to watch that film for the first time in my old house. But Pixar certainly knew how to make simplicity work to perfection. Simple shape, simple mechanics, simple movements. All feeling right at home with her coming from the more advanced future, especially compared to Wall-E where he’s literally a more grounded looking robot. Thematically, this design is fucking genius. A scouter robot with the ability to fly with ease and yet carries a literal arm cannon with incredible fire power. Both expressing how she can have her head in the clouds, observational when necessary, and yet trigger happy amidst the slightest inconvenience or surprise. *MWAH* What the fuck? It’s a great duality where the hard, more logical exterior possesses a sweet and approachable core just waiting to be shown and it’s wonderful seeing Wall-E, this literal block head, fumble his way into having a simple conversation with her. Now I can’t really disassemble how the programming in Wall-E works where they can behave like humans but follow objectives like a machine... but, I can try. With this scene.

Now take this with a grain of salt, the inferencing is more to the imagination otherwise the fun of this movie is tarnished. But from this scene, it’s clear that in this universe robots can show feelings for one another but can’t be romantic with humans because they can recognize human emotions and reactions but do so in an automated sense. The film expresses their curiousity just enough to where their reactions to human things and functions are within reason and yet doesn’t toy with the viewer’s believability. EVE is capable of responding to Wall-E’s advances but doesn’t 100% reciprocate his feelings because Wall-E isn’t her directive (least not yet, that’s for later). Not to mention, she isn’t that adept at romance unlike Wall-E who, by being alone with Earth’s technology, was able to learn and process human romance through the Hello Dolly VHS and potentially other things over the years. So this conversation works with the two having their limited knowledge, we don’t know how much they know, and the film keeps focus on having a balance between somewhat logical reactions and minor impulsive humane reactions that makes them alive but only just enough so it doesn’t feel like them being robots is pointless... Phew. Speaking of which, you know what isn’t pointless? Her motherfucking buster cannon.

Her whole ass arm houses a gun capable of nuking an entire cargo ship in a matter of seconds and it makes sense that she’d have it cuz how can a scouter robot defend themselves but beyond that, it’s just so goddamn cool. Like yeah, I can express how this symbolizes about America and... how they want to fuck their guns or something but who cares. She has a FUCKING ARM CANNON and it’s badass, end of discussion.

The Hanger Moment

Much as I love the moment where the two are in space flying, I honestly say that this moment where the two are in Wall-E’s house during the darude sandstorm is incredibly important. EVE is reasonably taken to his home and naturally, when the lights come on, she looks through the stuff he gives to her. She gets to take it easy for once, things can be quiet after she blew up a whole ship, have a giggle or two at the trinkets he’s collected, with the cigarette lighter being a good tool that’ll be used for later.

She’s curious, bouncy, still a bit quick on the draw, but is nonetheless taking in a lot this robot on Earth has to offer. It’s this and the small 1v1 they had before that is a lovely seedling to not only their connection but EVE’s development on her own, where we hardly need dialogue to show how she’s feeling about it all. And yeah, I’m with plenty of people to say that if this movie was just about the two of them being on Earth it probably would’ve been the greatest Pixar film of all time for many. Fortunately the plot kicks in when Wall-E shows EVE the plant, forcing her to go dormant, thus pulling Wall-E into an adventure on the Axiom ship. And I say fortunately cuz this is where EVE goes from good to great as a character.

The Axiom

While it’s something where we all wish that this film wasn’t the densly plotted, society driven second half, I say the second half on the Axiom carries the film’s themes and character building for EVE to good heights. We enter EVE’s territory, the slick, iPhoney synthetic world where humans have become literal potatoes and everything’s more or less automated. For EVE, the first half of the film lets us see the more playful side of her and doesn’t mind being around Wall-E, but isn’t immediately won over with the concept of love. She’s still goal-oriented and trying to keep the two stuck on Earth would’ve made her arc as open-ended and ambiguous as The Good Dinosaur. Time on the axiom puts her original sense of thinking to the test when Wall-E tags along.

To share the bigger picture real quick, the human element of Wall-E is complimentary to Wall-E and EVE’s humane behavior. To quote RealJims’ honestly flawless analysis, “What better way to show the humanity in a robot than to be among humans that act like robots?” For Wall-E the robot, this works perfectly as a fish out of water story. His time on Earth affects not only a few humans, but other robots like MO and the secretary machine, as minor as it seems.

So when Wall-E seemingly fucks things up, EVE is rightfully peeved. His slip ups especially with the Diagnostics scene tests her goal-oriented nature and patience, to a tasteful comedic strength. Doesn’t mean they now turned Wall-E stupid, the film makes sure the monkey wrenches are only accidents from someone severely out of the loop of things. This leads them and us well into

The Depths of Space

The scene where Wall-E gets launched in the escape pod thrills me with joyfully painful suspense every time. EVE making a mad dash to him as Wall-E madly tries to get out of the soon exploding pod, leading to it exploding and we get this from EVE. The wide eyes of terror followed by the whispering “No”s gives me shivers every time I see it in full. 

Now one could argue her concern was more for the plant getting destroyed, but I say she was more frightened at the idea of both Wall-E and the plant getting nuked. While Wall-E did make her mad, she nonetheless cared about him and wasn’t expecting the tiny bot asshole to send him to death. So it’s like, “Oh no, both my purpose and the one that helped me are both gone.” 

Luckily, thanks to some foreshadowing, Wall-E made it out alive with the plant in safe keeping and EVE seeing Wall-E actually care about her goal makes her beam with joy, being that reasonable spark that brings the two closer together. I mean if your love interest cheated death to help you out, why wouldn’t it? Everything about this moment is what made EVE stick with me long after I watched the film; the emotional journey the director was able to convey with her is so well-built to this point, it’s still amazing how they were able to do it with little dialogue or facial expressions. I especially love the emptiness we get of the two of them in space, where it adds focus to the two of them especially. But my god, that’s only half of it...

The space dance sequence between the two is still one of Pixar’s most gorgeous scenes. The way Wall-E is able to keep up with the fire extinguisher after having trouble in the film’s beginning, the wide shots of space, the lovely glow of the engines, the music. I especially like to think of this scene as a parallel to EVE’s initial flight on Earth. For her, it was that rite of passage after the touchdown and now she gets to share that same moment with someone she’s grown to like or appreciate. Then again, this isn’t the moment where EVE loves Wall-E. We’re close, but we need that one inch to finally show her the truth. That’s when she sees

The Recordings

The moment where EVE gets to see the memories of her time on Earth, including her dormant stasis, is where shit finally clicks. She essentially gets to know how Wall-E felt not only about her, but about love. Even when she couldn’t be there, she sees now that Wall-E cared about her and is able to process what Wall-E processed when he looked at Hello Dolly at one point. Scene also works because getting her directive, or the plant, was generally done and done with, she finally gets time to focus on something else, on her feelings for someone else. This leads well into... the well that leads to...

The Dumpster Moment

The scene with the recordings is where things finally click, but the moment with EVE and Wall-E in the ship’s dump is where it comes together. After getting betrayed yet again by AUTO, EVE’s concerns are now less with the plant and more for Wall-E and thanks to the moment previous, I can totally buy this. It’s teeth gritting seeing her try to rescue a now broken Wall-E from getting ejected into space and losing his energy thanks to a destroyed chip. So when we see her finally toss the plant aside and says Wall-E is her directive now, I tear up. It feels like a genuine, built up declaration on her part; the moment where EVE can rationally return his feelings ten-fold and truly be there for him. But that isn’t all to it, because Wall-E reasonably struggles his way to the plant to show that to save him, they need to get to Earth which means getting the plant back to the core of the ship.

This gives EVE newfound resolve and puts that to the test, where she has to basically defect against AUTO who’s become the physical antagonist of the film. The escape sequence is a bit of a step down since putting humans in danger doesn’t really affect the film’s themes all that well, but I can’t argue that pitting the captain against AUTO is a bad climax. 

The Death to Wall-E

Thinking about this film after so long, it is still pretty fucking shocking to realize how punishing they treat Wall-E in the final act. It’s even more shocking when you realize how the roles have reversed, where Wall-E focuses more on EVE’s goal with the plant instead of EVE herself and vice versa. Then again, I say it’s fair that they did this, to show how much Wall-E was willing to sacrifice for the one he loves which makes the painful wails we hear from EVE feel all the more impactful. Like you’re serious with her as she struggles to accept his death before they reach Earth. And speaking of Earth...

The Finale

Now, I can’t help but argue it’s an unfortunate plothole that EVE is somehow able to fully repair Wall-E in spite of never fixing anything else in the film. Then again, it’s fucking pumping seeing her move quick to put him back together and it’s that final stomp on the heart when, even when he’s fully restored, Wall-E bares no memories of her or anything. You see her desperately try to get him to remember anything only to be met with an emotionless, reset shell. In finally understanding Wall-E’s feelings of love, she can’t really be with him. Until...

True Love’s Kiss Saves the day

I can get scientific with how getting his memories back was possible, but I won’t because the scene just works. It’s quiet, takes it time, and that last eureka moment with the two truly get to hold hands makes up for any scattered logistics. I’d say this is where Wall-E finally gets the love, but the same can be said for EVE, after everything she went through. I’ve admittedly seen a few talk about how the female lead is only valid through the love of another, typically male, but I believe what works 120% here is that the two characters basically have themselves figured out, Wall-E more than EVE, and EVE’s journey is never hindered for a sudden realization to love. She still succeeds in her mission, but the stakes for her have risen once she comes to terms with her newfound feelings and these feelings aren’t out of pocket. Wall-E has his feelings for EVE from the getgo, but dedicates to helping EVE with the goal, even if it means death. The connection they get to have is earned and is what drives the plot. EVE earns what she realizes she wants and that makes her a great female protagonist in my eye.

The Conclusion

Wall-E is a pretty warm movie; a film how the love of two brings humanity to salvation and vice versa. How EVE and Wall-E’s love is synonymous to the intertwining of modern and older technology to shape the world. But honestly, that probably wouldn’t have worked as well without how great they made EVE as a character. Wall-E is great too, but it’s astonishing to see EVE’s journey with Wall-E and show her natural growth of understanding something as warm as romance. Her journey is pretty synonymous to how I feel with the movie overall. The time we get of them on Earth is symbiotic to the time we get in space; we get an intimate journey that expands to a film about society but remains personal and intimate nonetheless. And with EVE, we get this superbly fleshed out character that’s emotive, understanding, and above all gets a resolves that’s awesome to see every time I catch or just think about this film. What else is there to say?

They’re the Best.

[morethanboomtschk]

Alan Oldham: The Art of Techno Futurism

Alan Oldham is just that – a forward thinking futurist and former radio jockey whose work has long fused the not-so-distant worlds of art and music. Creating illustrations under his own name and spinning under the moniker DJ T-1000, Oldham’s status as a sci-fi visionary has made him one of the most unique and important figures to come out of the Detroit techno movement. “Detroit techno, in my view, was originally about futurism,” he says. “Futuristic black music. Look no further than Juan Atkins for that. A lot of old sci-fi movies and TV shows portrayed a future that had no blacks in it. Detroit techno was a statement that black people would be around in the far future. You can also connect Sun Ra and Mothership Connection-era Parliament/Funkadelic to that aesthetic.”

In the tradition of Sun Ra’s Arkestral manuevers and P-Funk’s explorations of funk’s outer limits, Oldham brings forth elements of science fiction, cultural awareness, higher levels of consciousness and even mythology to forge a sensibility from a future state of existence – with nods to realism interwoven. He believes those talents are innate. “I'm a natural,” says Oldham. “I had an art class in high school, but that's about it. I've been drawing since I was born.” His style – sharp, angular, forward and revolutionary – reflects both the evolution of his craft and his consistency. “My style has matured a bit, especially with my move to paintings,” he says. “But essentially, it's the same as it's always been.”

Oldham began his artistic career as a comic book illustrator, writing for small companies such as Hot Comics, Amazing Comics, Renegade Press, Caliber Comics and a few others. “I started out like everybody else, trying to draw superheroes and trying to get in at Marvel or DC by aping their basic style,” he recalls. “I came up with my own rip-offs of characters, then a few originals of my own. But once I stopped trying to draw like other people, I was able to get in on the indie comics scene of the late ’80s. Anime and manga influences were coming in. It wasn’t so much the basic Marvel or DC styles anymore. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles famously came from that scene, so it was a gold mine back then. Anybody could do anything and it would sell. You could come out with a black and white comic and sell 50,000 copies. We did over 15,000 on Johnny Gambit #1.” - Johnny Gambit is an indie comic book Oldham created at Visual Noise, a studio he put together in the late ‘80s as a place to ink and letter the comic. The name was recently resurrected for an art show Oldham mounted at the Record Loft in Berlin, where he is currently based. Yet in 1986 in Detroit, Derrick May took notice of Johnny Gambit and Oldham’s advanced illustrative style – and he introduced Oldham to the developing techno sound stemming from the Motor City.

“When I went to Wayne State University years ago, there was a place on campus called Student Center,” Oldham remembers. “We all used to hang out there between classes. Some semesters I had long gaps between day and evening classes, so I was there a lot. I was drawing Johnny Gambit at the time and I would have my art supplies with me. Derrick May used to work at this video arcade right off campus on Woodward, and lived a block away from WSU, so I began to run into him. I had known Derrick since we were kids, by the way. Like 10-11 years old. Anyway, he was coming through Student Center when he saw me working on Johnny Gambit. He said he was starting this new label and he asked me to do the label art for it. He offered me $50 for both sides, so I did the designs. $50 was a lot of money in 1986. The record turned out to be ‘Nude Photo’ b/w ‘The Dance’ and it turned out to be very famous.”

It would become the first of dozens of album illustrations for the Detroit techno community. “Derrick had this buddy who needed a logo for his label called KMS,” says Oldham. “So he brought Kevin Saunderson down to Student Center one day, and I met him. I ended up doing the first KMS logo, the one that’s on ‘Truth of Self-Evidence,’ ‘Bounce Your Body to the Box,’ etc. And it just went on from there.” - Oldham was landing gig after gig. In 1987, one of those gigs brought him to a different world: radio. An intern at WDET (a Detroit Public Radio station) the summer prior, he was then offered his own show, which was aptly called “Fast Forward,” holding true to Oldham’s futuristic approach to life. “Fast Forward” had become Detroit’s first-ever all-electronic radio program and ran between 1987-1992. Oldham had a graveyard shift initially – 3 AM to 6 AM – but his audience was vast, as he played everything from classic favourites to burgeoning techno beats from colleagues and friends.

Some of the music given to him for his radio show was from Jeff Mills and Mike Banks, who had just formed Underground Resistance, and they recruited Oldham for yet another gig – this time in the area of public relations for the newfound collective. “Jeff Mills was another childhood friend,” Oldham describes. “Mills lived down the street from this kid I used to draw with. This kid’s dad had this high-rise at 1600 Lafayette that we used to gather at to play Monopoly every week and Jeff was in the group. Years later, Jeff had hooked up with Mike Banks to form UR. By this time, I had my radio show on WDET, and they used to feed me reel-to-reels and white labels to play on the air.

“By 1991, UR was getting stronger and they needed PR help. I minored in English and learned to write press releases in school, so I started doing that for UR for gas money. We were all crammed into Banks’ mom’s basement. Rob Hood was in the group, too, designing flyers, pasting up stuff. This was pre-Mac, of course.”

Oldham’s involvement with Underground Resistance led to his introduction to DJing. “When Jeff left UR in ’92 and they had an Australian Tour all lined up, Banks asked me to be the replacement tour DJ,” he says. “Everybody had code names in UR, so that's when DJ T-1000 was born. I went at it with gusto, ’cause it was my big break. And that was that.” - However, the development of DJ T-1000 also led to the temporary demise of Oldham’s comic illustrations. “Once I got into DJing and traveling every weekend and making music, doing comics took a back seat,” he says. “But with the slow demise of the music business as I once knew it, I’m back to the first love, making comics and art again.”

His travels and constant connections resulted in Oldham creating art for an impressive roster including Derrick May, Miss Djax, Ben Sims, Richie Hawtin, Astralwerks, Third Ear Recordings, Opilec Music, Steve Bug, Cisco Ferreira (The Advent), Delsin Records, AW Recordings and many others. “Because of my work for Djax-Up-Beats, robots have become a theme in my artwork,” Oldham says. “People know me for that, so I decided to continue the theme in my big canvases. Big booties, stiletto heels, spaceships and robots.” Oldham’s art garnered international attention through the DJs and labels, especially in Europe, where there was (and still is) a deep fascination with Detroit techno. “When I started emphasizing on doing gallery shows in Europe, the techno art got even more popular,” he says. Although he felt something special stirring out of the Detroit techno movement, Oldham knew his calling was overseas. “All that interest from Europe… for me, just the chance to get out of Detroit and see the world and make so many international friends was a very big thing, and still is,” he says.

Today, Oldham travels the world showcasing his art, as well as his music. He continues to spread the futuristic message of Detroit techno on an international level through his talents. “My number one goal with both my art and music is to impact my audience in a positive way,” he says. “No negativity, just mood and cool. I’ve got paintings hanging in people’s homes and studios, and my music in their iPods. I want to push my aesthetic out there and leave my mark.”

This article was published on the Red Bull Music Academy website in November 2014. Written by Ashley Zlatopolsky.

[weirdlandtv]

Like the 1960s generation had The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and Bob Dylan, the Big Three of the 1980s were Prince, Michael Jackson, and Madonna. Their new albums weren’t just song collections, they were messages uttered by the Oracle up on the mountain, echoing across the valley. They were events, statements, re-incarnations. Each new album presented a new persona for fans to imitate and for critics to evaluate, or, in the case of Prince, decipher. (Artists, back then, had to change with each new release or else be considered irrelevant. David Bowie entered the 1980s a smart yuppie, George Michael in the span of 7 years went from sparkling teen idol to sensitive, searching biker cowboy.)

Michael Jackson and Prince were regarded as rival gods, with the former more commercially successful but the latter preferred by most serious music critics (though in reality, fans, like me, liked both). Michael Jackson played games with tabloid journalists, who in turn responded with growing hostility; Prince played pranks on music critics, who wilfully allowed themselves to be deceived and wowed by this inscrutable prodigy.

Michael Jackson’s Avalon was Neverland, a fantasy dream that always invited ridicule (though not from me); Prince’s Mount Olympus was Paisley Park, a place deemed so mythical that fans constructed their own maps from the few photos and bits of footage that existed of it, and then endlessly speculated on what life was like inside of it: the parties, the concerts, sacred rituals, whisperings, the spontaneous nightly sessions. “Did you know,” they’d say, wide-eyed, “Prince has this huge vault of original masters and unreleased music right under Paisley Park? Only he knows the key code.” Whole albums (all masterpieces of course) had disappeared into that vault, never to be heard by ordinary mortals. And he never slept: nobody had ever caught him sleeping. He just went on and on, creating music. That was Prince, the enigmatic wonder, the living love symbol, and flamboyant question mark.

I still find it strange to realize so many of the artists I just mentioned, who so energetically populated my childhood and early teens, are dead. Michael Jackson, Prince, David Bowie, and George Michael all died within 7 years of each other; but there’s also Whitney Houston, Freddie Mercury, Kurt Cobain, and so many more. (Compare 1960s giants Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan, who are still touring and releasing records.)

When Prince died, a little more than three years ago today, I was on Texel, an island to the north of Holland, where I live. I checked my phone, checked the news, like you so stupidly do every now and then, and then saw the incredible headline. A sunny day, clouds seemed to appear that moment. Some people love celebrity deaths and follow juicy rumor sites about who punched who and who stepped out of the limo without their knickers on; me, I get depressed. It’s like having swallowed a stone. The sensationalist cries around every celeb death to me are like a beehive of bad vibes, a pest, and I have to stay away from it as far as possible if I want to protect my mental health, or what’s left of it. Prince’s death made me take things slow for a week or so. I have to mentally chew on such things, change my settings, ease into the new reality, let my heart adjust to its new weight. I’ve often had to deal with death in my life, sometimes it’s as if every high-profile death shocks me back into that familiar feeling of dread and despair.

Though Michael Jackson’s Neverland has turned into a derelict theme park that carries the curse of being unsellable, Prince’s Paisley Park has become a museum. Occasionally, browsing the internet, I see photos of it, and I’m always struck, kind of uneasily, about how soulless it seems. What does the lair of an extravagant hermit look like? What did I expect? Not something that looks like the atrium of a New Age company maybe. Looking at the interior, those sad police photos that were released last year, I can’t help but see the stupendous mundanity of it all. The building itself, somewhere in a suburb outside of Minneapolis, resembles a bunker, and though the pyramid skylights, that vaguely resemble guard towers, provide some natural light, the rest of the building is artificially lit, but dark. The recording studio is just that. Some of the walls have sayings like “Everything You Think Is True”. Stained glass with stars, clouds, and guitars. There’s a potted plant here, and an ugly tangle of phone cords in the corner there. Prince’s bedroom was sparse with empty green walls, and a plastic trash can you can buy at your local Walmart (but he never slept of course). The legendary vault reminds me of the storage room of my dad’s old electronics company, with its disorderly shelves and half-opened cardboard boxes. And everywhere, in every corridor and every space, there’s Prince iconography, but it’s rather bland, like the cover of a cheap unofficial biography.

For Prince, it must have been strange living in your own mausoleum.

The music that came from that place though. I believe PARADE (1986) was the first full album he recorded there, and then everything that came afterwards. My uncle was a real Prince fanatic, taking a slew of albums with him whenever he stayed with us, bootlegs too, so from an early age I became quite well-versed in all things Prince. Bits of his lyrics are as familiar to me as old family sayings. Personal favorites are the albums 1999 (1982), BATMAN (1989), and the LOVE SYMBOL ALBUM (1992). I like the street-smart humor of his early stuff, the raw passion, the in-your-face sex metaphors, with symbols as loud as cymbals, just the wild mercury sound of it; later on, his work became more spiritual, and harder for me to follow. His whole being though was music, every movement was a melody, every step a beat; he created music the way other people breathe. He had more songs in him than a duck has quacks. If you listen to the posthumous release, PIANO AND A MICROPHONE 1983, it’s as if the piano, microphone and artist aren’t three separate things, but one organism, bleeding and generating music; it features some wonderful, loose playing. It seems to me that towards the end of his life, in physical pain and unable to play a piano or guitar unless stuffed with elephant tranquilizers, he started to drift, and drift further, until he fell over the edge.

Like Bob Dylan, whose mystique and inaccessibility he shared, Prince had a habit of frustrating his fans, by deliberately excluding a great song from an otherwise so-so album and storing it in his vault, or by making his music hard to buy or even find (online, before he died, there was almost nothing). That’s one reason I kind of stopped following him; the other is the depressing decline of his songwriting since the 1990s. Looking at his later albums, which I first dutifully bought until I didn’t anymore, there’s hardly anything I really like. None of the best-of compilations collect anything from after the 90s. What happened? Age is part of it of course. A decline in quality is inevitable, most musical artists do their best work in their 20s and 30s. It’s also possible Prince’s brand of singing about his women like they are divine vaginas simply went out of style. Once cheeky and outrageous (his work was why Parental Advisory stickers were invented), his songs no longer shock us 21st centurians. We’ve seen so much already. Dirty sex wasn’t the only topic he sang about of course (far from it), but it’s the one he pushed forward the most as part of his image; his “royal badness” was part of his appeal. (The BATMAN soundtrack originally was going to feature Michael Jackson as Batman, the force of good, and Prince as the Joker, representing decadence, sin, evil.)

But his supposed “badness” was an act of course. The cocky poses, flashy gestures and mean diva looks were an obvious shield against the outside world, a theatrical defense mechanism. An attempt to dazzle people before they can get to you. When you’re shy—and he of course was the shyest—you feel like everyone is constantly watching you, and you become overly aware of how you look, how you walk, how you come across; you are constantly aware of your physical being taking up space. So what do you do when you’re an artist? You perform. Everything you do becomes a kind of performance, a conscious act. It gives you a feeling of control: you know why people are watching, because you’re making them watch you. But the essence of it is always shyness and nerves.

There’s something endearing about that 1983 footage of him being invited on stage for an impromptu jam by James Brown, who a few minutes earlier had invited Michael Jackson up. Ready to upstage his rival, who had just performed some killer moves, Prince takes the stage, struts, plays some random riffs, struts some more, suddenly takes off his jacket and does some tricks with the microphone stand, claps to whip up the audience—and then as he wants to make a fast and sudden exit, he clumsily goes down knocking over a prop, stage hands hastily arriving from all sides to help him up.

He died in an elevator near the lobby, but the spot itself has been covered up by a new wall (it’s near the watchful eyes in the third image). I keep wondering what happened. Was he making his way down to the ground floor from his production offices, or was he going up from the recording studio to his bedroom to maybe sleep? One associate, questioned by police, stated that Prince had told her he “was depressed, enjoyed sleeping more than usual and was incredibly bored”, and that at his last concert, he felt like he was going to fall asleep on stage. Those were rare remarks. An intensely private person, he mostly hid his problems, not just from others, but even from himself. The end, then, was inevitable. As with Michael Jackson six years before, the drugs relieved him of his pain, and then of his life.

He never slept, and when he did, it was 4ever.

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working For Love: A TerrorMoo Story 7/17

Still sick, still trying to be on time with my posts. Sorry if I’m not responding to people, its just been a really busy week and the holidays are a bit of a mess. I’m hoping that when I go on vacation after Christmas I’ll answer asks and stuff. For now, please enjoy ^.^ 

Previous Part

Start from the beginning

Brock wasn’t a quitter. 

If anything had proved that over the past three months, it was his improvement in the gym. Once a nervous wreck who was too hesitant to try anything but the treadmill, Brock had started to branch out after losing more weight. The health articles and helpful advice from the guys at the gym (he’d even go as far to say his friends) had explained that doing cardio was great, but needed to be paired with healthy eating and weights. The free weights were still too daunting to approach (the men that lingered there had biceps the size of Brock’s head!), but the weight machines weren’t too intimidating. So Brock finalized a plan, and after his walk on the treadmill had finished, he set his sights on a new part of the gym to conquer. 

But it wasn’t as simple as Brock had originally thought; each machine had different weight ratios and knobs to alter the machine, and Brock was hesitant to touch any of it. The clanking of the adjustments felt loud to Brock, despite knowing that nobody around him would even take notice. They were plugged into their music and their own work-out routines, just the same as Brock was when he was in the zone. The old feelings of being watched came back full force as he tried to adjust the seat, nearly dropping a swear when the latch pinched his finger. It wasn’t a terrible pain, but more of an embarrassment for messing up something as simple as a seat adjustment. His face flushed as he stared down at the first machine, wondering if it was supposed to be a sign. Distantly, a memory sung to him like a siren, casting a wave of insecurity over his anxious soul. 

“You really can’t lift that? Your arms must just be for decoration, Brock, because they don’t have any muscle on them. We need to get you to a gym or something.”

Brock’s anger and resentment of his ex was no longer a gaping wound, but a scar he gave little thought to anymore. The longer he spent away from the rose-tinted image he had of their relationship, the more he understood their flaws. Sure, Brock had some responsibility in their discourse, something Craig never refused to acknowledge anytime the topic came up. Some of the nitpicking he did wasn’t always needed, but used as a defense mechanism when feeling bad about himself. And there was his struggle to try new things, despite his ex being willing to take risks on Brock’s tastes and hobbies. But he wasn’t a martyr, either; Brock could make peace with the fact that his ex treated him like an expectation over a gift. Like he simply thought that Brock should be there by his side until he decided he no longer needed him. Maybe until he found someone in better shape with the arm muscles he’d always ragged on Brock for not having. 

The scars were small now, but at times like this, they still whispered in ways Brock struggled to ignore. 

“God, I hate this machine.” The familiar voice didn’t cause Brock to jump as often as it used to, the warm body by his side making his toes flex pleasantly in his shoes. He glanced in confused silence to Brian, who didn’t hesitate to plop down onto the machine that Brock had been staring at for two minutes. “The calibrations are always so specific and I don’t like how hard the seat is against my ass.” 

“I thought Tyler told you to wear a hat,” Brock said, trying (and partially failing) not to think of Brian’s rear pressed up against hard objects. Craig would be proud, which wasn’t a comforting thought. 

“Tyler also tells Mini he’s not interested, yet lets him come here and sexually harass him without making him pay for his gym membership.” Brian skimmed the weight options of the machine that Brock knew his friend used on a daily basis. “Just can’t trust a man with that poor of taste. So I think one of the elliptical machines is wearing my hat right now.”

“He’s going to fire you one day.” They both knew it wasn’t true; despite his refusal to follow the dress code, Brian was Tyler’s right hand man at running the gym. It was common knowledge to most who frequented the gym often, especially with how much time Brian spent there. Brock doubted that Brian would ever really take credit where it was due, because he wasn’t helping Tyler for glory or recognition. He seemed genuinely invested in helping his friend’s business thrive, which compared to Nogla’s constant promotion of the establishment at his apartment complex. 

“And never see this beautiful face again? He’d had to close down from all the broken hearts.” Brian’s little smirk always sent Brock’s heart into a skittish flurry, though by now he’d learn to lean into the sensation over fighting it. Brian’s lovable personality was so comforting and warm that he couldn’t help it; he felt safe showing his weaknesses to Brian. From how often the other members at the gym reached out to him for questions or help, it was obvious the feeling was common. He wanted to show Brian how intricate he was to making the gym a welcoming environment. 

“What are you doing?” Brock asked instead, taking a step back when Brian finally clapped his hands and pushed off the seat of the machine. 

“Alright, this should be the right settings for you. Take a seat and tell me what you think.” The command didn’t hold any authority or sway, but Brock found himself following Brian’s request when a hand on the small of his back lead him to sit down. Guiding him each step of the way, Brian’s voice stayed eased when he wrapped his hands around Brock’s, adjusting the grip he had on the handles of the arm press. “Keep your fingers facing away from you so you have your strongest part of your grip parallel to your chest. It’ll help you get a better push when you lift up. Don’t use your feet, or you won’t get the same tension in your tricep and it’ll lesson some of your work-out. And make sure to take a good breath before starting your reps, okay? I started you small with weights, but you should be straining by the end of ten pushes. Think you can try this?” 

“Just don’t laugh when I can’t get past one.” Brock tried to make it sound like a joke, but he remembered the phantom pinches from his ex that littered the saggier part of his arm. He’d always held more power in his legs, nothing he’d been ashamed of before the break-up, so the little pokes and comments hadn’t been a passing thought for Brock back then. Now, as he stared at the arms preparing to push the handles of the machine up, Brock couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

“That’s one more than you could do yesterday.” But Brian just made it so easy to stomp out the ghosts of the past with his candid words and positive aura. “And that’s something to be proud of.” 

“Right.” The word was weak when he whispered it, fingers nervously dancing along the soft grips of the handles. His focus turned internal, flexing the muscles in his hands once and nodding. “Right, okay. Here I go.”

And surprisingly, when he pushed into the motion of the machine, it moved. It wasn’t the steadiest of movements, and his arms shook when they came down, but he didn’t fail. Brock almost forgot to hold up the weights, but a quick reminder from Brian to ‘breathe and go again’ had him right back into the swing of things. He took a slow and steady pace, trying to only focus on the motions of his arms and the little hints of help Brian provided. He didn’t get to ten the first set, eight being far too much for him before he dropped the handles down. But Brian looked over the moon at his attempt, and Brock had never felt like such a winner for something he didn’t complete.

“That was great!” Encouragement poured from Brian like a water spout, hands clapping onto Brock’s shoulders to show his excitement. “You did eight of em, Brocky. You rock.” 

“I didn’t get to ten, though.” Despite his response, Brock let himself lean into Brian’s comforting touch, which kept him from sinking into negative self-talk. 

“Seven more than you thought you could do, right?” Which was true enough to make Brock nod. The smile didn’t wipe off Brian’s face as he led Brock to another machine, using the same slow and encouraging tactic as before. The attention was appreciated but confusing to Brock, who wondered how Brian had managed to sneak the time away from his actual duties at the gym. 

But 20 minutes and six machines later, Brock got his answer. 

“Hope you enjoyed your little date.” Tyler seemed less prickly when he tossed out the words, his glare falling into an eye-roll with little heat. “Cause I’m clocking that as your break.” 

“It was worth it.” Brock doubted Tyler meant the threat because he wasn’t a bad boss. If anything, Tyler was coming up with an excuse to not write Brian up for ditching his duties. But the brightness of Brian’s eyes proved he meant his reply, even when he gave Brock a wink and moved away to argue with Tyler. Leaving the gym that day felt different, his muscles already protesting when he shifted the car into gear. He was sure he’d feel the pain tomorrow, and the pain the next day when he did the routine over again. But that was okay, because he was okay. 

Brock wasn’t a quitter, but it was nice to have Brian in his corner anyways.

Fun times at the gym for Brock and Brian! Its like a cute little first date. Hope you guys are enjoying this story, its been fun to write. As always, like, reblog, and let me know what you think! <3

[circuit-music]

2020 Music Recommendations

2020 – WHAT A SHIT YEAR! There was so much craziness in those 365 days – from politics to a pandemic. Music was often times one of those things we could take comfort in or use it as a tool to express a range of emotions. I’m always surprised when compiling these list (of which I’ve been doing for 20+ years now it seems) that no matter the state of the world, there is always an overabundance of great music to be discovered. 2020 musically, delivered - including surprising returns from some bands who’ve been rather quiet in the past years like Consolidated, Cabaret Voltaire, and Portion Control.  

The majority of what I listen to is electronic based music, with techno-body music being my favorite and there was STILL PLENTY of that in 2020 from labels like Aufnahme+Wiedergabe, Fleisch, Bite, X-IMG, Sonic Groove, SOIL, and more. Occasionally something a little lighter like the ethereal shoe-gaze goodness of Mint Julep (“Stray Fantasies” was an amazing record), or the post-punk of House of Harm (wonderful new discovery this year with “Viscous Pastimes”) and Sure (you all slept on “20 years” in 2020) works its way in to my listening. I still find synth pop from the likes of Riki, Korine, Tanz Waffen and Wingtips wonderfully appeasing. The wave material from the likes of Handful of Snowdrops, Linea Aspera, Zanias, Hante., Minuit Machine and Replicant was perfect for those melancholy moods. I even dipped into some aggressive near metal stuff this year from the likes of Pudeur, ESA and Youth Code – perfect for those days of anger.  Oh, and I was thrilled to see a lot of exclusive, unreleased and remixed Curve material surface this year – a band who embraces several genres (walls of guitar, shoe gaze, industrial) and moods.

This isn’t a top 10, top 25 or even a top 100. Instead, it’s an A-Z recommendation list encompassing many genres as those lines are getting more and more blurred. A good tune is a good tune, regardless of genre.  

HIGHLY encourage you to get out there and seek out new music; Visit the record stores, go hear a new DJ, fire up Spotify or another streaming service, check out some new music via podcast, DJ mixes, label sites, online retailers, even Facebook. One of the best sources for discovering new music is BandCamp - who in 2020 with the pandemic started BandCamp Fridays in which the site waived its normal fees to assist artist impacted. Taking place, the first Friday of every month, those will continue in 2021. There’s a plethora of discoveries to be found out there. If you do the work, you’ll be rewarded ;)     Speaking of Spotify – I made a playlist this year featuring plenty of the bands on my list. There’s at least a track or more from the artist who have a presence on Spotify. Sadly a few bands on this list aren’t on the platform, but check BandCamp and you can have a listen. Here’s the link:   https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02kQJZE7uvJxwHJD8j8zrh?si=SHlP4mVRTuaRejh6So3Mig

As in years past I’m certain I missed a few things, ignored the hype on certain releases or just plain forgotten something. It’s a chore to compile this list, but I love to do it. There’s a ton of new pioneering music out there for sure waiting to be discovered and it’s the “what’s next” that keeps me a motivated music fan. There’s never a dull moment in speaking, writing, DJ'ing or promoting new music, so I’ll keep doing it and hopefully be a guide for you all ;).   If it needs mention and I overlooked it - I may do an addendum in the next week or so. Anyways, got your notepaper and plenty of beverages ready? Don’t be a TL:DR (Too Long: Didn’t Read) fool. Read up. Enjoy the music of 2020!

Onwards with the list!!! :D  

2+2=5 - “Hidden In Plain Sight “ (COUP)  

Absolute Body Control   - “1980/2020” 3xLP (Oraculo Records)    

Agent 15   - “Voices In My Head” (Drone)  

Ah Cama-Sotz - “New Skin for Old Tribals “ (Self-released)  

Andi - “Corpse to Corpus” 12” (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)    

Arabian Panther - “The Way of the Pentinent” EP (SOIL)  

Arnaud Rebotini – “Workout: This is a Quarantine EP6” (Self-released)  

Autumns - "You Always Taught Me Better" LP  (Detriti Records)  

Benedek - “Mr. Goods” 12” (L.I.E.S.)  

Blac Kolor   - “Extinction” EP  (Aufnahme+Widergabe)  

Blacksmith   - “Dominated” (X-IMG)    

Blitzkrieg Baby - “Remixed” (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)    

Blush Response   - “Void In” LP (Megastructure)   - “Void Out” (Megastructure)    

Body Beat Ritual   - "Raw Dogs” EP (Pleasure Corp)  

Body Divide   - “Pleasure From Pain” (Squarewav)    

Cabaret Voltaire   - “Shadow of Fear” LP (Self-released)  

Calvary Stone - “Hate Unit” (Soil)  

Caustic - “The King of EBM” (Self-released)    

Cervello Elettronico - “No Sides” EP (SquareWav)  

Choke Chain - “Chain Tactics” (Self-released)   - “Grave” (Self-released)  

Chris Shape - “Shaped to Deform” (Unknown Pleasures Records)    

Chrome Corpse   - “Detecting Movement” Ltd. Edition 12" EP  (Oraculo Records)   - “Helmet Mounted Display” (Self-released)  

Chrome Corpse / Decent News   - “Split” (Self-Released)  

Codex Empire   - “Broken by Fear" Ltd. 12” (Horo)     - “Protected by Rage” 12”  (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)  

Cold Cave   - “Waving Hands” (self-releaesed)  

Comfort Cure - “Serpentine City” (Rec.Body.Ltd)    

Consolidated - “Capitalism” (Self-released)  

Crystal Geometry   - “Samiam” EP (Sacred Court)   - “Senestre” 2x12” (Sonic Groove)  

Curve   - “Blindfold EP - Bootleg EP Series 1”  (Self-released)   - “Curve Oddities Bootleg Series 3” (Self-released)   - “Curve Oddities Bootleg Series 5” (Self-released)   - “Horror Head Raw DAT Mixes Bootleg Series 4” (Self-released)  

Cyan ID   - “Blurred Revelation” (X-IMG)  

Dive   - “Where Do We Go From Here” Ltd. Ed Box set (Out Of Line)    

E.L.I.   - “Dying to Live” (SOIL)    

E.S.A.   -  “Burial 10” (Negative Gain Productions)   -  “Eat Their Young / The Scorn” (Negative Gain Productions)  

Einstruzende Neubauten   – “Alles In Allem” (Potomak)  

Evil Dust   - “Desolation” (Crave Tapes)    

Fatal Morgana   -  “The Destructive Remixes” 12"   (Mecanica Records)   - “The Final Destruction” 2LP   (Mecanica Records)  

Filmmaker   - “Reinvent” 12” (Soil records)  

Fixmer - "Invasion” 12” (Bite)    

Fixmer/McCarthy   - “Unreleased From the Archives" (Planet Rogue Records)    

Foreign Policy   - “Watching Existence” 12” (X-IMG)  

Fractions   - “Nite NRG” (Monnom Black)    

Further Reductions - “Array” 12” (Knekelhuis)    

Hakai   – “No Flesh Shall Be Spared” 12” (Megastructure)  

Halv Drom   -  “Slum Vatic” LP (Fleisch)  

Handful of Snowdrops   - “Asymetrical” (NanoGénésie®) - “Echoes -The Complete Cover Collection” (NanoGénésie®)   - “The Four Winds” (NanoGénésie®)   - “The Impossible Dream” (NanoGénésie®)   - “Watch Me Bleed / Theme for Great Cities” (Self-released)  

Hante.   - “Fierce - Remixes & More” LP (Synth Religion)      

HKKPTR   - “Macht & Ohnmacht” EP (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)    

House of Harm   - “Vicious Pastimes” LP (Avant!)  

Human Performance Lab   - “Impact Situation” 12"  (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)  

Inhalt   - “Simulation” 2xLP Remixes (Mechatronica)  

Iron Court   - “Etched Forseights” (Detriti)    

Istigkeit & Angel Karel   - “You A’Int No Punk, You Punk”  (RND. Records)  

IV Horsemen   - “Compilation Vol. 1” (Self-released)     - “Human Crash” LP (Fleisch)    

Karger Traum   - “III” LP (DKA Records)    

Kenny Campbell   - “Blackest Ever Buckfast” (Drone)

King Dude   - “Full Virgo Moon” LP (Van)    

KLACK   - "Two Minute Warning” (Klackprodukt)   - “Move Any Mountain” (Self-released)     - “Catching Up with Klack” (Razgrom)   - “Distancing” (Self-released)   - “Move Any Mountain” (Self-released)     - “Probably” (Klackprodukt)  

Konkurs   - “Terminal Stage" (Megastructure, X-IMG)  

Kontravoid   - “Live from the Void” (Self-released)     - “Too Deep Remixes” (Fleisch)    

Korine   - “The Night We Raise” LP (Data Airlines)    

Kris Baha   - “Barely Alive” 12” (Emotional Especial)     - “Starts to Fall” 12” (Power Station)    

Kutkh Jackdaw   - “Sweat & Thunder EP and remixes” (Dark Disco)      

Lbeeze   - “Induced Expressions” (Phormix Tapes)    

Liebknecht   - “Demos The H4AR 2020" (Self-released)   - “Koln : Total Harmonic Noize remix” (Self-released)    

Linea Aspera   - “LP II” (Self-released)    

Looky Looky   - “Are You There Beach?” (Self-released)    

Machino   - “Ciudad Violenta” (X-IMG)    

Maedon   - “Escape To Berlin" (Sonic Groove)      

Marc Ash   - “Mirror Glaze Lavish" 12" EP (Fleisch)  

Marina Aleksandra   - “Animal Industrial Complex” (Randolph & Mort. mix)  

Max Durante   - “Fear and Desire” 12”  (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)  

Mind | Matter   – “Souvenirs Brises” (Intervision)  

Mint Julep   - “Stray Fantasies” LP (Western Vinyl)    

Minuit Machine   - “Don’t Run From the Fire” 12” (Synth Religion)    

New Frames   - “Outer Limits” 12” (Bite)   - “RNF2” 12” (R Label Group)   - “Stylized Fear” 12” (Haven)    

Nordstaat   - “Singularity Second Coming” (X-IMG)  

NZ   - “More Of Us” 12” ltd. (Infacted Records)    

Objekt Clermont   - "Zeitgeist” EP (Self-released)  

Ofelia Ortodoxa   - “Maleficio” (Soil)    

Pablo Bozzi   - “Last Moscow Mule” (Dischi Autunno)   - “Walk on Wire” EP (Bite)  

Phase Fatale   - “Scanning Backwards” 2xLP (Osgut Ton)  

Portion Control   - “Head Buried” EP  (Portion-Control.Net)   - “Seed  1” EP (Portion-Control.Net)   - “Seed 2” EP (Portion-Control.Net)  

Pudeur   - “Magie Noire” (Area Z)    

Randolph & Mortimer   - “Enjoy More” 7” (Self-released)   - “Manifesto for a Modern World” 2xLP (Mecanica)     - “They Know We Know They Lie” (Self-released)   - “Union of the Faithful” (Self-released)    

Reka X Imperial Black Unit   - “Todo Avaricia” 12" EP  (Fleisch)  

Rendered   - “Stone Cold Soul” CD (Audiophob)    

Replicant   - "Regression” (Self-released)     - “Annihilation” (Self-released)  

Rhys Fulber   - “Diaspora” EP  (Aufnahme+Wiedergabe)   - “Resolve” (FR Recordings)  

Riki   - “Riki” LP (Dais Records)

Rommek   - “Break The Tension” 12” (Leyla Records)    

Salem Unsigned   - “Blood Origin” (RND.r recorcds)    

SARIN   - “Moral Cleansing Remixed" (Bite)      

Schwefelgelb   - “Der Puls Durch Die Schläfen Instrumentals" (n-Plex)     - “Der Puls Durch Die Schläfen" (n-Plex)     - “Die Stimme Drängt” 12"  (Cititrax)  

SDH - “Against Strong Thinking" 12" (Avant!)  

Size Pier   - “Typhoon in Busan” (X-IMG)    

Soft Crash   - “Spitzkrieg” 12” EP  (Bite)  

Soj   - “Land of Lovers and Hammers” (Infidel Bodies)   - “Slow Burn” (Industrial Complexx)    

Statiqbloom   - “Asphyxia Remixed” (Synthicide)      

Sure   - “20 Years” LP (Weyrd Sun Records)    

T_ERROR 404   - “Holographic Skull” (X-IMG)  

Tanz Waffen   - “Led Astray” (Self-Released)    

Teatre   - “Crime Imagery” (Self-released)  

Terrorfakt   - “Achtung 2020 Remixes” (SquareWav)    

The Marquis - “Poison” (Self-released)   - “Scab” (Self-released)    

Trauma Phase   - “Human Caused Disaster Response” (Detriti)   - “The Origin of Social Disabilities” (Self-Released)  

Unconscious   - “Regnum Novum” (X-IMG)     -"Slaves of System" LP  (Detriti)  

Unhuman   - “Voices of Distress” 12” (Bite)  

Various Artisits - “ASM II “ (Forkha) with: Chrome Corpse, Mind|Matter, The Undertaker’s Tapes, Evil Dust and more  

Various Artist -  “Meta Moto 4” (Meta Moto) with: Borsis Barksdale, Raw Ambassador, Filmmaker, Teatre and more

Various Artist - “Antikhrist Visions vol. II” LP (Industrias Mekanikas) with: Downwell, Delectro and more  

Various Artist - “BOY Records – Timeless Technology 1988 – 1991" 4xLP (Mecanica) Retrospective box of the legendary Boy label releases.  

Various Artist - “Crime Violente Vol.4”  (Up North Records) With: Calvary Stone, Lbeeze, Meshes and more  

Various Artist - “Dystopia in Action” 12” (X-IMG)     with: Alpha & Necromante, Kris Baha, Human Performance Lab and more  

Various Artist - “Ecdisis Vol 2” (Frigio Records) Snag this for the outstanding edit of Portion Control’s “Chew You to Bits”

Various Artist - “Murder 01” 12” (Murder) with: Codex Empire, Crystal Geometry, JK Flesh and more  

Various Artist - “Northern Nightmares Vol.1” (Up North Records) with: Autumns, Cardopusher, Teatre, Hate Magnum Opus and more

Various Artist - “Northern Nightmares Vol. 2” (Up North Records) with:  Notausgang, NGHTY, Violet Poison and more

Various Artist - “Sonic Groove: 25 Years 1995-2020" 2xLP (Sonic Groove) with: Orphx, Crustal geometry, Maedon, Rhys Fulber & Portion Control and more

Various Artist - “Uncanny Valleys Vol. 1” (Area Z) with: Chrome Corpse, Sarin x Imperial Black Unit, Celldod, IV Horsemen and more

Various Artist - “Uncanny Valleys Vol. 2” (Area Z) with: Ah Cama-Sotz, 3.14, MDS51 and more  

Various Artist - “Valley of Tears vol 1" 12” (Soil)   with: Imperial Black Unit, Fractions, Exhausted Modern and more

Various Artist - “Valley of Tears Vol. 2” 12” (Soil) with: SOj, Djedjotronic, Years of Denial and more  

Various Artist - “Seven Years of Delirium" (Liber Null)   with: Blush Response, NGLY, Zanias, Celldod, Phase Fatale and more  

Various Artist – “Detriti Split 1” 12” split vinyl (Detriti) with: Black Sun Dreamer and Trauma Phase

Various Artist – “Detriti Split 2” 12” split vinyl (Detriti) with: Mind | Matter and Iron Court  

Visceral Anatomy   - “Modern Anguish” EP  (Oraculo Records)  

Visitor   - “Technofossil” (Braid Records)  

Wingtips   - “Tears Of Pearls" (Self-released)    

Youth Code   - “Puzzle” (Self-Released)    

Zanias   - “Extinction” 12” (Fleisch)     - “Harmaline” (Self-Released)    

Zola Jesus   - “Live at Roadburn” (Roadburn Records)

[bltngames]

SAGE 2020: Indie Games

SAGE may closed more than a day ago, but thankfully, the website remains up for those who still want to download its games. So even though this article is technically very late, nothing listed here is out of date. The event may be over, but the games live on! Which is honestly a relief, because I think doing ten games per article is taking its toll on me. Normally, when I’d write for TSSZ, I’d do somewhere in the realm of 5-7 games per article, and even that would eventually burn me out. After writing about 20 games this year, I was clearly starting to feel like I was running out of steam. Oh well. We live and learn. Here’s another ten games!

There’s one more article left after this, a sort of “honorable mentions” round-up that will feature much shorter blurbs as I blow through way more games way faster. If I didn’t talk about your game here in these three articles, now’s your chance to let me know so I can say something about it in the final article.

Anyway, onwards to our ten indie games.

Victory Heat Rally

I’m all for any game channeling the spirit of Sega’s old SuperScaler arcade technology, and Victory Heat Rally is all about that. Everything about this game seems so MY AESTHETIC that my only complaint is that I’m hungry for more. A lot more. This demo is a simple time trial on one race track and I’m itching to sink my teeth into literally anything else this game has to offer. There is an older demo from back in April with more content, but it’s running on a different version of the code base -- this newest demo is significantly improved both in terms of visuals and control. I really don’t have anything else to say about it. There’s not much here, but what’s here is charmingly retro in the style of Sega’s Power Drift, but cuter and even more colorful.

  Sondro Gomez: A Sunova Story

I had been interested to revisit Sondro Gomez after playing the first demo last year, but I don’t know if I just wasn’t in the right mood for it this year or what, but I kind of bounced off the game this time. To my memory, Sondro Gomez is a kinda-sorta side game in the Kyle & Lucy universe. You may remember Kyle & Lucy as one of a growing number of games coming out of the Sonic fan gaming community trying to break out as an original title. A while ago, the developers announced a partnership with Stealth to use the Headcannon engine to make the game with, something that extended to Sondro Gomez here. The problem is, it feels kind of weird now, and I can’t quite put my finger on why. I think it’s the little stuff -- you don’t get a lot of positive feedback when attacking using your whip (the sound is a bit quiet), and the difficulty balancing errs on the side of caution. I died a couple times in my time playing this newest demo, but I wouldn’t characterize Sondro Gomez as a game that feels challenging. Some of that probably has to do with the fact this is still just a demo, which means you spend a long time fighting the same four enemy types in every single level. There’s a lot of charm to the story and the characters it involves, but that only takes you so far when it feels like you’re doing the same things over and over in the actual levels, you know? Either way, the touched up visuals and the new boss fights are welcome. Interested in seeing what the full release looks like next year.

  Delta Gal

In retrospect, a Mega Man Legends fan game seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? Where Delta Gal has a leg up is in controls. Even considering the era Mega Man Legends was released in, it had very awkward controls. Delta Gal’s response is to embrace standard third person action game controls with a mouse and a keyboard. Now, there is controller support, but even once you get it set up, you have button layout presets like “Bad” and “Almost Good.” Honestly, if you can, just play it with a keyboard and mouse. The demo offers about 30-40 minutes of gameplay, with a bit of the town, a forest section, a cave, and one whole dungeon. Visuals nail the best parts of the Mega Man Legends low-fi aesthetic, colors are vibrant, and the pixel art textures look very good. The town is full of characters with lots of personality, too. A particular favorite being the guy who runs the junkyard who likes to show off by flexing his muscles but then ultimately chickens out when it comes to exploring the cave he discovers. The only downside I’d say is the sound design. The game sounds okay, but some of the music is a little bland, and certain sound effects lack the right kind of punch. Granted, this style of sound design isn’t easy, so I can empathize with the developers in that respect. Honestly, it doesn’t really detract from anything at all, so maybe it’s not even worth bringing up. Either way, good stuff, and I’m looking forward to the full release.

  Bun n’ Gun

Here’s a cute little game about a bunny in the old west. I’m absolutely in love with the visuals and the music here, but the gameplay is… interesting. Bun isn’t a typical shooter or platformer, thanks to the fact that he appears to only have one arm, which is occupied by his gun. Now you wouldn’t think this would matter, as it’s pretty easy to design a game around only having to jump and shoot, and that’s fair enough. But there’s a strange heft to this character. It takes them a little bit to pick up speed, and it takes them a bit to slow down, and there’s an unmistakable, split-second delay between pushing the jump button and actually jumping. I know enough about this kind of game development that a delay between pushing a button and actually jumping has to be a deliberate design decision, and I split on whether or not I like it. I don’t think I hate it, because it’s pretty easy to get used to the way it feels, but it does mean you’re working with a handicap when it comes to split-second movements. Given the bunny seems to only have one arm, though, perhaps that’s the point. Either way, it’s cute. Give it a look.

  Shield Cat

I feel like I’ve been over-using the word “charming” to describe games at SAGE this year, but you know what? Shield Cat is charming as heck. People also tend to think it’s reductive to describe things by comparing them to something that already exists, but I say nuts to that, too. Saying “It’s like…” is an easy shorthand, and besides, if somebody is saying your project is like one of their favorite games, it just means they’re giving you praise and might lack the words to accurately describe that praise. Thing is, that’s actually kind of hard to do with Shield Cat. The nearest relative to this game would be The Legend of Zelda, but Shield Cat honestly plays very little like Zelda, beyond having a top-down perspective. Secret of Mana, maybe, with the stamina meters? I don’t know. Regardless, this is a charming (!!!) top down action game where you roam around exploring an overworld and solve light puzzles. It controls well and the aesthetics are nice. Can’t really get much better than that, though I do have to wonder what it is you’re supposed to be doing in this game. It took me about 30 minutes to see everything available in this demo, but there’s no story setup and only the smallest pieces of what could be considered a dungeon. What’s on offer here is interesting enough that I find myself wanting to know more about this world. For example, it’s called Shield Cat, but clearly you’re some kind of ferret. What’s that about? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

  Prototype N

I’ve sat here staring into the void wondering what to write about for this game for a long time, because it’s one of those demos that’s just… a solid and fun game that nails exactly what it’s going for. I would say that Prototype N leans a little too far towards the easy side of things, but the third level provided in the demo ramps the challenge up enough to be just about perfect. And, really, that’s it. That’s the game. You get two softer introductory levels to get you acclimated to the controls (which are similar to Mega Man, but different enough not to be a direct clone) and one “real” level to actually give you a bit of a work out. There’s nothing else to really say. This has the vibe of a 1993 or 1994 Capcom game, or maybe something from Data East. Every single part of this game’s presentation is laser-focused on that aesthetic, and it pulls it off flawlessly. Sound design, music, visuals, it’s a bullseye. This game fell out of a time machine in the best way possible. Definitely give it a look.

  Yan’s World

From a game that nails the SNES aesthetic to this, a game which pays tribute to the Virtual Boy… but not really? I actually became aware of Yan’s World many years ago through a mutual Discord, and it always looked interesting, but simultaneously a little confusing, something that still mostly holds true to this day. Per the game’s own Kickstarter sales pitch, Yan’s World is “stylized as a lost title for Nintendo's Virtual Boy.” I can get down with that, but the game almost instantly breaks its own rule because Yan’s primary method of attack is to shoot a missile from his head that can only be aimed using the mouse. As such, Yan’s World doesn’t have controller support, even though one of the stretch goals currently listed on their Kickstarter page is to make a version that can be played on real Virtual Boy hardware. And, honestly, what’s the deal with this game’s whole… everything else? Why is this kid an onion? Why are the platforms made out of clocks? Why does all of Yan’s dialog make him seem like he’s sort of pissed off when he’s got such a big happy smile? There’s a bit of a hand-wave to suggest the entire game takes place inside of a dream, and for once that actually means throwing logic out the window, I guess. Oh, the missile is a pillow? Fine, whatever. Use it to blast this demonic apple, and then threaten to kill an innocent NPC. It’s a dream! Despite how little sense that makes, it… kind of works? The sprites are big and lovely, the game controls well, and the level design is plenty creative. I can’t fault the game for that, it’s just trying to figure out everything wrapped around the game that feels so bizarre.

  Cosmic Boll

I don’t know if I really understand what’s going on in Cosmic Boll, but I love to play it just the same. This plays like if Treasure made Dragon Ball Advance Adventure while strung out on cocaine. The end result is pure hyperactive chaos. There is a whole complicated combat system at play here, and a very lengthy in-depth tutorial when you first start the game, but you can figure out a lot of it by just skipping the tutorial and playing the game for real. You can get by pretty easily by just mashing buttons and seeing what happens, and that’s not a complaint, because a lot happens in this game. Like, constantly. It never stops, it never really slows down. You’re always zipping around, spinning and flipping and punching soldiers, explosions everywhere, collectibles everywhere, just utter madness. It’s Sonic the Hedgehog plus Devil May Cry plus Gunstar Heroes and all of it is mixed up in ways you probably don’t expect. All of this is to say that Cosmic Boll is messy and cool and fun and you should probably play it.

  Brock Crocodile

This is a game I’ve seen a lot of around social media, and it’s nice to finally be able to try it. Weirdly enough, this is the first game all SAGE that has flat out refused to see my controller. For the last few years at SAGE, I’ve been using a Playstation DualShock 4, which typically causes me all kinds of headaches with games expecting an Xbox controller. This year, I’ve been using an 8bitdo SN30+. These things are designed primarily to be used on the Switch, but using a controller macro, you can change it to Xbox or Playstation modes. The “Xbox” mode has served me well so far, but Brock here fails to let me use the controller at all. Fortunately, with only three buttons, Brock manages to be mostly playable on a keyboard. That being said, a lot of this game feels a little bit off. The camera is kind of swimmy, as it's almost constantly in motion trying to get a better angle on what's around you. Brock himself doesn't have a smooth acceleration curve either -- it's more like shifting gears in a car, where you reach one top speed and then click up into the next highest speed. That can work, but Brock changes gears much too quickly and without much feedback, making it look like one jerky acceleration curve instead of two. And then there’s the visuals. Level art looks great, character portraits look great, but I’ve never been the biggest fan of the sprites I’ve seen in this game. Take Brock himself, for example: he’s got insanely thick thighs for some reason but the rest of his body looks thin and wispy, and he stands with kind of weird posture. The good news is, despite these complaints, Brock Crocodile is actually really fun to play. You eventually get used to the game’s control quirks, and the level design and included boss fight are excellent, striking that perfect balance where they aren’t too easy but don’t feel unfairly difficult, either. Plus, even though the cutscenes aren’t skippable (annoying as I was dealing with controller issues), the writing is snappy and the dialog is funny. It may not be perfect, but there’s still a lot to like here.

  Marble Launcher

Here’s one of those games where you can tell the creator is just starting out making games. And that’s great! These sorts of endlessly complex, winding mazes are exactly the kind of levels I started making when I first got into game development when I was 16 or 17 years old. One could spend hours searching every nook and cranny in these levels, which is simultaneously awesome and exhausting. Thankfully, near as I can tell, nothing FORCES you to go exploring, so if you’d rather just finish the game, it’s easy enough to head straight for the goal. Gameplay is extremely simple, otherwise. You’re a marble, you can attack enemies by bouncing off of their heads, and you have a slam move. That’s it. You might think that with this being a marble game, you’d get real rolling ball physics, but all you get is simple platformer controls. They’re good enough, especially considering how esoteric the shape of the levels can get, but it’s hard not to be a little disappointed. Still, it’s not a bad little game for what it is. Controls a bit better than some of my earliest attempts at game development, too.

Thirty games total! That’s a lot of games to talk about. And there’s still more to come, so stay tuned for that.

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen Rambles about Dusk Diver

I finished playing Dusk Diver, a small beat-em-up by JFI Games. I originally played it because it was on sale, I’ve had my eye on it for a few months now, and I needed a break from DMC5 for a bit. And boy do I have some thoughts about it now that I’m done with the game. Namely a bunch of nitpicks, but... we’ll get there in time. 

But as always, let’s start with that Synopsis.

Dusk Diver takes place in the Ximending district of Taipei, Taiwan. The story focuses on Yumo Yang, a Taiwanese high school senior that got caught up in a spiritual adventure over her summer vacation. While out with her friend she was randomly pulled into the alternate dimension of phantoms and demons. Before she was about to get killed by one a local loin god protects Yumo by (accidentally) transferring his powers to her. After she fends off the phantoms she decides to help clean her city of phantoms over summer break with the god’s help, along with the help of his eccentric and frugal boss... Boss. 

The plot takes off from there as Yumo pummels phantoms, gains allies, brightens up her town, and learns more about why the phantom and human realms are colliding. I gotta’ say, it’s nice to actually write the synopsis without having to either look at wiki article or outright copy it. This game is very simple for both good and ill. 

So... what do I think of this game? 

Well, unlike Assassins Pride I’ll be going over the bad first and then try to end on a high note, since for all my issues and nitpicks I did enjoy this game very much.

With that said, let’s start with...

The Bad

The Localization

So the localization is very similar to Under Night In-Birth Late[st] in that it feels very unfinished. When I talked about Under Night’s localization I was a little too harsh on it for my current liking and I’ll use Dusk Diver to explain myself a bit better.

Dusk Diver’s localization isn’t bad. I played this game listening to the Taiwanese dub and nothing sounded too off, but the script, the actual words on the screen, were rife with spelling and grammar errors, inconsistent terminology, and even moments where you could read the actual code of the game in the text. This the translation was either rushed, or it didn’t have enough time to really finish it, which makes it feel really sloppy. The said thing is that this game does have a rather charming script despite this, but reading all those errors and trying to correct them in your head can be... annoying.

The RPG Elements

So... this game is a beat-em-up that revolves around doing large combos and keeping up a hit counter to get higher drops of health, SP, TP, and other resources. The main goal of combat is to get combos going, collect SP and TP, and use those to do more damage to the enemies. 

So why is there an RPG level up system in this game?

I still have a lot of DMC5′s mechanics ingrained in me, so forgive me if this sounds pushy, but in most hack-and-slash/beat-em-up style games tacking on an RPG-style upgrade system only slows down the overall gameplay. 

Let me explain. Every time you complete a level for the first time you gain skill points. You use those points to improve your HP, SP, attack, etc.. This doesn’t feel good to do for this style of gameplay. In most beat-em-ups/hack-and-slash games skill points and similar currency are typically used for new moves or special abilities. DMC5′s red orbs are for new moves, Nero’s devil arms, and a limited amount of health and devil trigger increases. Senran Kagura uses its currency for costumes, accessories, and music, with the mere act of leveling up giving you higher bases automatically and more moves when you reach a certain level that proves you’re familiar enough with your current moveset to expand it. Solely making the numbers of damage and health go up doesn’t make you feel more powerful, it makes you feel like you can just handle the enemies that have gotten a lot more health and do a lot more damage for no reason other than slowing down the gameplay. I’ll save my recommendations for later, but the quick version is that the skill points should be used for more moves, more SP, and Drive duration only, as health and attack feel really arbitrary points to tack on for this style of gameplay.

The Platform/Alternate Gameplay Modes

Not often and namely during side missions for the Boss, but sometimes you have to do platforming segments and reach a certain point on the map and defeat some enemies.

They’re terrible.

Much like Devil May Cry, movement, jumping, and generally getting around feels fine save for me wishing Yumo’s run speed a bit faster. However, precise jumping and general platforming just don’t work. I don’t believe there’s a drop shadow in this game, the jumping itself has much different momentum when trying to maneuver in the air, making some moving platforms a pain to reach, and while the platforms themselves are rather large, the moving platforms go too slow compared to a lot of the fast-paced combat, making it a painstaking wait to get to the next fight.

Again, like DMC, this most platform this game should have is fighting on rooftops. In fact, I believe in the second or third mission you did have to traverse rooftops and it was actually pretty fun. Like I said, the platforms are usually wide enough that even with the wonky jumping it’s not a pain and getting to a higher point on the map and seeing the overall scenery is... nice. 

It’s just when you want me to pull off jumps like this is a Mario game is when things get dicey.

But those are all the big issues down, or at least my top three so...

Smaller Issues that Bug Allen

Like I said, I have more nitpicks than actual problems with this game. The game itself is a fine 10-15 hour experience, but there are several smaller issues that just pile up as you play it. It shouldn’t take you out of the game, but they did frustrate me a little. With that said though:

The minimap needs an ability to mark sidequests, it’ll make for a lot less backtracking and random pausing to look at the map and see where I need to go. I understand that this game is a more or less faithful for recreation of the Ximending district, but for non-locals playing this game like me finding locations is rather difficult. 

Since this game has visual novel styled cutscenes it’d be nice to have a log button to backtrack conversations just in case you skim over some important dialogue.

On that note, an option to control the speed of the text would be great as well, as I didn’t see one in there initially.

Cutscene Skip Button. It’s annoying to do the hard mode of these stages and having replay cutscenes I’ve already seen. Especially when I’m just hunting for Dragon Vein Shards.

Dragon Vein Shards should be tied solely to upgrades, as using them for plot advancement only adds to the grind... or so I would say if not for me have twice as many of the shards needed for progression every time. Again, I’ll go more in depth when I talk about my desires in a sequel, but for now I’ll just say these items should either be for leveling up or as a sort of collectible.

I’d like the rank system to be more like DMC, tying clear time, damage taken, max combo, and things like all together so that the end goal isn’t just to speedrun a stage for the S-rank.

Can the menu option be mapped to the triangle button like every other game? It kept throwing me off when I tried to pull up the map.

There doesn’t need to be a small cinematic when you do certain guardian attacks. It locks Yumo in place and has a real high chance to miss its target save for bosses.

It’d be best to map items to the buttons instead of the d-pad, as it kept tripping me up when I was trying to heal. 

I think that’s it for the major nitpicks, so let’s move onto the the good stuff.

The Good

Story and Theme

The story of Dusk Diver is simple, but effective. You go around saving the district by fighting monsters, you see how those monsters effect the district in each arc, and you solve the problem, usually getting an ally along the way. The few people that are aware of your secret job as a magical martial arts girl, usually the elderly or spiritually attuned, are very supportive toward Yumo. 

The game has an overall light, encouraging tone. It wants you to love the city as much as Yumo and Leo do, and it works. All of your side missions have you help out the locals in some way and you gain increased power for the super mode. You work at a convenience store, you partner with the local gods and guardians. Everything you do reinforces the idea of protect, preserving, and understand the town you live in. Yumo gets bonus dragon shard veins by frequently eating at local restaurants and becoming a regular. You help tourists out finding places to visit. You help an elderly man by taking photos of his old stomping grounds and he reminisces on what those old buildings were originally for. You help a coffee shop for free drinks. The list goes on, but a lot of the game reinforces this theme of community and loving the town do so much in. This is a very comfy game despite all the action of bashing demons and phantoms.

Characters

While simple, Yumo as a character is a very cheery girl that just wants to help others. She’s a bit annoyed at being forced to help at first, but she is someone that’s helpful at heart. And seeing her want to protect her friends and town is genuinely heartwarming. 

Plus, I really like her design. I’ve always been a fan of simple street clothes, and black with yellow highlights will always sell me on a character. 

Your guardians are pretty fun too. Leo’s knowledge of the city and desire to help others really gives him a cool grandpa vibe. Bahet’s a quiet and encouraging guy with a noble background despite his punk fashion. Le Viada is a model with a complex around her age and big sister mentality, the list goes on. Again, these characters are simple, but effective.

Gameplay

While I did have my nitpicks, the gameplay is solid beat-em-up action. Light and heavy attacks with the occasional use of the the guardians. And each guardian has a special ability with their damage. Leo can do massive damage to enemy shields, getting rid of them in one or two shots with his more powerful moves. Bahet can slowly chip away at an enemy with his scythe’s poison effect. Le Viada’s guns can outright ignore enemy armor and punch through it, as well as lay down traps, and... there’s a fourth guardian for when you beat the game. I won’t spoil it, but they’re basically a turret that stays in one place while you summor your other guardians, making her unique as you can’t usually summon two guardians at a time. And like I said before, aiming and lining up certain attacks can be a bit unwieldy since some moves playcinematics that lock you in place, but it’s overall fun. Racking up combos, using big AoE moves, it all feels great.

And with all of that out of the way.

Wishes for the Future

Much like in my Fire Emblem rambling I don’t like the idea of correcting a story or game that’s already been finished, but I find no issue with discussing what I want for the future. And I really thing this game can have a sequel. The game states that Yumo isn’t the first person in recent time with latent spiritual powers, or that this is the first time that the phantom and human realms became loose. And hell, Yumo is still someone that wants to protect her town, so it’d be easy to make a game in another area of Taipei that’s gone out of whack, or even give the reins to someone else. And I do want a sequel. 

Like I said, my main issue with this game are some nitpicks that could honestly be fixed with a patch or a two-month delay. If this game sold well enough to get a sequel I’d buy it. 

That said, here are a few things I’d like to see in that hypothetical sequel. Such as...

Rankings

A lot of these are going to be taking a page from DMC since I was taking a break from DMC5 to play this, but the ranks shouldn’t be tied solely to clear time. That just makes people speedrun the stage and miss Dragon Veins. Having rank linked to time, combos, hits taken, and so on would give you some breathing room when you try and explore a stage, as you wouldn’t be punished for being curious. You’d still need to be quick, but you won’t be completely screwed either.

Leveling Up

Leveling up give you skill points that you can stick into your health, SP, attack, super mode duration, just dodge duration, luck, and moves. This game shouldn’t give attack or health for skill points. This is just my belief with design, but beat-em-ups shouldn’t just jack up the health of normal enemies as you get stronger, instead just giving us tougher enemies with different patterns of attack. The game already does this with some success, so those slots that increase health and attack seem pointless. You get skill points when you complete a stage for the first time, or find dragon vein shards. This... really puts a lot of pressure on the kinds of skills you upgrade, and while I’m not against that it does make this very light-hearted oddly restricting as you debate what to upgrade. I’d recommend using those dragon vein shards solely to level up instead of for story progression as well. With each upgrade costing more and more dragon veins as you increase your stats. In this first game you can collect over 150 dragon veins. You only need 50 to complete the story mode, and I had about 75 by the time I reached the final mission. 

I know some people struggled to grab them, but... I didn’t, so... maybe have the veins do something else than gate story progression.

Post Game Activities

If we are going to have a post game to finish up some side quests for 100%, then we might as well have some extra things to do too. 

Oh right, I never mentioned that yet.

Yeah, once you beat the game you’re essentially in a free-run mode to finish some leftover side quests and do a few extra things you might have missed, but... I finished all the side quests before the final story, so I was left with just finishing some hard-mode missions and finishing up my upgrade tree. That said, if there is going to be a post game here’s a few ideas:

Survival Mode where you fight waves of enemies. Some akin to a Bloody Palace Mode where you can compete for a high score among friends and online.

Post Game dungeons that are hard as hell, this could be DLC if you wanted as I wouldn’t mind paying for more content like this.

Extra moves/skills. Yumo’s moveset is rather small compared to DMC and Senran Kagura. If we’re going to have just one character to play as then I’d rather have a complex character that takes awhile to learn than an easy one where I’m spamming the same moves over and over... or give us more characters to play as with equally simple movesets.

That’s really it. The game overall is fun with it’s only real flaw being a rather short game for 35 bucks. Like I said, either some DLC or a sequel would make me feel better about recommend this one, but if you want a fun, short beat-em-up game then this is out on steam, PS4, and the Switch. Feel free to get... though I’d recommend waiting for a sale.

In any case, back to DMC5 for me.

[sanstropfremir]

So I have opinions on the other stages but like most of us I can’t stop thinking about the SF9 stage. Hanya said it really well in her response but I think we have to break up the members into the ones who tried to emulate Taemin’s androgyny and those who just flat out didn’t try. So in order I’d put it Taeyang, Jaeyoon, Zuho. Those three stood out to me the most as really pushing into more feminine ways of carrying themselves and dancing especially Jaeyoon-like where did that man come from it was very unexpected. Then Chani and Inseong were both more neutral. I can’t put Chani in the first category mostly because of the contrast between his dancing and style with the female dancers that made it obvious that he was still trying to be more masculine despite having certain moves that definitely lend to a feline style like all the hip movements(whether consciously or unconsciously). And last Hwiyoung, Youngbin, and Dawon. I think this is the distinction that some people were making with “sexy” and “Taemin sexy”. Like everyone just associates him with sexiness but opening your shirt to show off your abs doesn’t fit with Taemin’s usual sensuality. Taemin seems to be more focused on movement (throwback to your post on his dancing style) so in order to emulate him there a certain attitude and way in which you carry yourself through movement is necessary. Also youngbin’s rap part did not fit with the concept either-it was too energetic and chill (too much swagger?). Like the way he moved compared to say Zuho was more in line with his usual stuff rather than fitting the way he moved to the stage and song. It’s also interesting to see that the outfits seem to also keep in line with this. Zuho and Taeyang have their midsections showing in a way that’s more common in women’s fashion then in men’s, Chani and Inseong are almost completely covered (so neither in one direction or the other) and Hwiyoung has his arms bared to show off his manly, manly biceps. And of course there’s Dawon. It’s fascinating to compare the members with the more revealing outfits. Like they all have their midsections uncovered but to be more feminine it’s only just a crop top and to be more masculine you open the shirt up completely. It makes sense. Also I’ve been obsessed with Jaeyoon and I can’t exactly pinpoint why he stood out so much especially when Taeyang is RIGHT THERE (though I don’t really think Taeyang got a solo scene but rather was center on the group dances which kind of dilutes his parts). Like his outfit is pretty plain but I love the cutout and the fact that he has long sleeves but they aren’t mesh. It’s simple but effective. I kept thinking this was the Hetero man’s Move especially during Youngbin and Dawson’s parts.

ok this took a really long time because honestly i changed what i was writing about like four times in the middle of the process and i changed my mind like four times because this is a very complicated topic and i could not settle on what the best way to come at it was. tbh i dont think i did the best job even though this is over a thousand words but i have no clue how to make this any more coherent without re-reading all of my flatmate and i's gender theory books and that's just way too much. but here we go.

EDIT: here is hanya’s post about the stage for reference!

where i'm at right now is that i think we are overlaying taemin’s current gender antics with what the actual move was. move has transformed along with taemin, and as such we look back at it with the understanding of what it becomes, but if we take a moment to forget that context, well... let me show you. here’s the 171019 comeback stage. and the 171027. and the 171029. now, here’s the 190223 stage from sketchbook. and from almost a year later, at the 2019 mbc music festival. and now here’s it from a month ago on the tiktok stage. it’s changed a significant amount not only in how he performs it, but in how the costumes and his body affect what it looks like. the cutoff muscle shirt of october 2017 absolutely has a different connotation than the lace back and velvet princess glove and the diamonds of december 2019.

i still do believe that sf9’s cover is missing a huge dimension because it comes from a fundamental non-understanding of what people who present even the slightest bit outside of the gender binary go through, i don’t think they were wrong in interpreting it as ‘man doing non-aggressive but seductive dance moves’ because on the surface, that’s what it is. taemin has actually spent a significant portion of his solo career doing what you described as traditionally 'masculine' dressing; he did famously rip his shirt off for the first non-music show performance of danger, after all. what we associate as 'taemin sensuality' is relatively new for him, it's more prominently a post-want mannerism because pre-move (and for a lot of move itself) he was very focussed on being perceived as masculine.

if we look at sf9's costumes individually, the breakdown looks like this:

chani - skinny trouser, chiffon shirt, and a cropped wrap suit jacket with a tie back

dawon - straight leg trouser, open silk shirt

jaeyoon - asymmetric open shoulder mock turtleneck, wide leg trouser

taeyang - wide leg trouser, faux leather open shoulder crop top

inseong - silk/silk blend shirt, cropped asymmetric suit jacket with a crossover back, tailored trouser

hwiyoung - sleeveless mock neck faux leather vest, straight leg cargo pant

youngbin - mock neck asymmetric crop top with a mesh underlayer, wide leg trouser

zuho - skinny trouser, mock neck crop top, cropped suit jacket with a pointed front

taemin has worn most of these looks. cropped wrap jacket? ngda beyond live velvet suit. open silk shirt? the move album cover. asymmetric shoulder cutout? several want performances. the only exception is that he doesn’t often wear non-skinny trousers, but even then he did for his beauty and the beast moment with the jinro frog. and sleeveless was the whole costume concept for move in the first place. even youngbin’s look is very similar to this outfit from the offsick concert series. but silhouette is only one factor of a complete costume design - you have to take into account the performer’s body, and how that silhouette is perceived on that body. it’s interesting that you specify that hwiyoung’s biceps are ‘manly’ and grouped him in with the more ‘masculine’ of the sf9 members; as i showed at the beginning of this, taemin was at his most physically muscular for move promotions. hwiyoung has just as pretty a face as taemin, but we perceive him differently in this outfit because his body is categorized as more masculine because his muscles are bigger. and this is fundamentally a gender essentialist argument because bigger muscles are not actually ‘more masculine,’ muscles don’t have gender they’re just how humans move around. it’s just our societally impressed gender binary that makes us think that.

another costume point i want to make is how you describe chani and inseong as being completely covered so ‘neither one direction or the other,’ which i would like to break down a bit. for starters, jaeyoon is also essentially fully covered, but you perceived him as being one of the more androgynous ones over chani or inseong. why? because his silhouette was more form-fitted? because there was an uncommon area of skin showing? chani has a tightly fit silhouette as well, and you can see a fair amount of his skin because his shirt is chiffon. why is a suit neutral but something cut to follow the contour of a body not? the fact of the matter is, the suit is the most symbolically gendered garment in the world; it is loaded with western colonial and patriarchal implications. we just view it as 'neutral' because we’ve been normalized to see it as neutral. now neither of the suits chani or inseong are wearing are traditionally cut, and chani’s especially is quite subversive in its construction, but taemin is no stranger to using the implications of a suit for move, here’s the stage from 171105. grey double breasted pinstripe suits were the most popular style for businessmen in the postwar west, and still maintain a prominent indicator of class and power to this day.

you are correct in pointing out that the movements and mannerisms of the members don’t all match the same level, but i want to specifically talk about the intro moment with chani, because you mention him as trying to be more masculine, which i very much disagree with. chani actually does the best at retaining the body neutrality of the original choreo because the original choreo as a stand alone isn’t that seductive or ‘feminine.’ yea he doesn’t have the attitude down pat but the guy’s 20 and is clearly not as comfortable with being this kind of sexy. the reason why you’re perceiving him to be more ‘masculine’ in his movements is because the backup dancers are frankly, being pretty aggressively sexual in a feminine coded way around him. of course he’s gonna look out of place! part of what gives move its uniqueness is that the backup dancers are doing the exact same choreo as taemin, at the exact same intensity. not an altered version where they slut drop behind him.

like i said at the very beginning, i think taemin’s been tipped into the ‘feminine’ category under false assumptions, so it’s doing a bit of skewing of the responses to this stage. if i were to make a very reductivist diagram, i think a lot of responses have been (taemin) <- neutral -> masculine, with the implication that taemin is the feminine analogue, but in reality what taemin is and is aiming for is feminine -> (taemin) <- masculine. because we have been socialized to see things in such an aggressive binary, it can be very difficult to pick out what a true neutral is.

[bthenoise]

Q&A: Here’s How Some Of Your All-Time Favorite Music Videos Were Made Thanks To The Brilliant Max Moore

So you want to make music videos? Well, we have some good news and we have some bad news. The bad news? It takes a TON of hard work. The good news? We have some pretty solid advice from one of if not the best music video directors in our scene. 

Working with the likes of Converge, Code Orange, Knocked Loose, Motionless In White, Movements, New Found Glory and a ton more, Max Moore has built quite the reputation of being an ultra-consistent, ultra-creative and incredibly hard-working director working his way up from the DIY hardcore community. 

Talking with The Noise about getting started behind the camera and what he suggests to up-and-coming filmmakers, Moore commented, “I think it's so easy to get caught up in the comparison game of what camera somebody has starting out or where you live.”

“I don't live in Los Angeles,” Moore said. “I live in a random ass city in the Midwest. And if you can just get away from all the bullshit and just focus on making really creative, cool ideas, then you're going to be somewhat successful over the people who just freaked out about the new stabilizer or piece of gear.”

With a resume of nearly 100 music videos, commercials and short films under his belt, Moore clearly knows his stuff -- which is exactly why we wanted to reach out to the talented 28-year-old and find out how he got his start making some of our favorite music videos.

To check out Moore’s story and insightful guidance for future directors, be sure to look below. Afterward, for more, head here.       

How long do you think you usually spend on an edit? Obviously different videos vary but what’s your average time?

MAX MOORE: Well, not all directors edit their own stuff. But for me, it's a big part of what I do. And in terms of having control over the final product, I mean, you can shoot and direct something amazingly [but] if you don't have a good editor, it can all kind of fall apart there. So editing is the one thing that I still do all myself. So as you can imagine, it just depends on the project. But even more so than that, it really just depends on the timeline from the label or management or whatever. 

For example, the [recent] Knocked Loose video, I edited it in like a week. And you know, that's like working on it six to eight hours for a few days or something like that. But I've also had crazy deadlines where it's like, “Hey, the video is literally supposed to come out in three days from when we shoot it.” So I'll just hunker down and edit nonstop for like 48 hours. So I've literally shot a video in LA, flew (because I actually live in Kentucky -- Louisville, Kentucky -- where Knocked Loose is from) back home and edited a video and turned it in and it came out like two days later. So yeah, it really just depends. But I think the biggest thing is just if the labels are like, “Hey, it’s not due for a while,” I'm gonna let it sit. [laughs] I'm not trying to kill myself just to get it done.

Do you ever overlap with videos? Or is it usually one project at a time?

I usually always kind of have multiple projects going at the same time. It's varied in different years. I've been doing this full time for about six years. Some years, I did insane amounts of music videos. Some years, I do a little bit less. I think the most I did one year was like 40 music videos or something crazy. So if you think about that, there are only 12 months in a year. So there's obviously going to be some crossover. But these days, I'm trying to -- when I was first doing this I was like, “I want to do as many as possible and work with as many artists as I can.” But these days, I'm trying to be more selective about what I take on and I'd rather do fewer, really good [videos] than just pump them out. So I've also started directing commercials as well. I don't want to do 40 music videos a year. It’d be nice to do a handful of ones I’m really passionate about.

For young filmmakers and directors who are just learning, what’s your time management like or the schedule that you give yourself on a day-to-day basis?

I think the biggest key, especially when I was getting started, I would get a lot of offers to do videos and I was just so excited to have the work that I didn't know how to say no yet. So I kind of overbooked myself, like the year I did almost 40 videos, that was so stupid. Like, truly. I mean, I worked like seven days a week for the entire year basically. So I think it starts before you even get the work. By that, I mean learning when to say no. You know, “That video sounds really cool, I like that band, but I just don't have time.” Or you know, “Hey, it's a good budget. I don't care about this artist. Nah, I'm going to pass.” You know what I mean? So I think it starts from the get-go and I'm learning to be better with that. 

As the years have gone on, in terms of the day-to-day, I think it's just like any business. It's prioritizing things that need to get done based on when they're due. I think that sounds like a really non-answer but I think it's important to keep to your schedule -- especially when you're self-employed and you do a lot of it yourself. It's really easy to get overwhelmed and not know where to start. But I like to stay organized by keeping a well-established schedule and prioritizing by what's due when and knocking it out in that order if that makes sense.

Is there one video in particular you had to turn down that you're super bummed about?

Yeah, I mean, there's been lots of cases over the years. But it's been less of that, like, “Hey, we want you to do it” and I feel like I have to pass. The things that I mostly get more bummed about are the videos where I write it -- so the way the normal process works is it's not usually, it happens a lot for me [with] someone I’ve worked with several times [where] we're directly working together and they know “Hey, we want Max to do the video.” So we’ll figure out the treatment and what the video is going to be, but I am working directly with them. 

But usually, the way it works is that my rep, my music video rep, which is just like (that's what they call it, it's like my agent, basically) and so she will send me tracks from record labels and say, “Hey Max, do you want to write on this?” And so say it's a really awesome artist that I would love to work with, it’s like, “Oh yeah, I would love to write a treatment for that.” She says okay, so then I spend the day putting together a music video treatment, sending it off to her and she sends it to the label. But the label is also collecting several treatments from several different directors and you don't know how many, who's writing, who else is also writing on it or how many. 

And so back to the original question. I've definitely gotten bummed like, “Oh my god, I'm writing a treatment for blah, blah, blah, whatever band or artist. I'm so excited!” And then it's like, “Yeah, they went with somebody else.” And then you’re like, “Ahhhhh.” [laughs] This is the name of the game. It's as frustrating as it can be music video directing, or directing for some production in general. [You] kind of just gotta have tough skin. And if you get your feelings really hurt by not getting a job or the client not liking the video or the edit, or whatever, you gotta just have thick skin and roll with the punches. The people that can roll with the punches consistently and keep trucking even though they get bummed on not getting stuff, those are the people that are successful and can have consistent work. Not saying that's me [laughs], but yeah. 

When you're writing treatments, do you feel like the ideas come to you pretty instantly? Or do you have to think for a few hours, sometimes days?

I think it just depends on the specific situation. There have been times where I'll get sent a song and I immediately have something come to mind and the treatments done in like an hour. Then there are also times where I've literally sat at a computer for hours and hours and hours and gone on walks, took a shower, left and drove around and there's nothing I can do [because] I'm 100% in writer's block. I finally just end up being like “Alright, I’ll write this down and submit it.” But I think it just depends on the situation. I think it's always easier in a situation where it's an artist that I know and that I've worked with previously. Like a band like Code Orange or Knocked Loose. I've worked with both those bands multiple times and we have a rapport, a creative rapport that we can kind of reference previous videos or it's really just a trust thing. Those kinds of artists that I’ve worked with trust me and trust what I'm writing is going to make sense for the song or the record or whatever. So it's always easier when I have a direct relationship with the artist rather than when it's just more the standard business thing where there's several layers of middlemen in between– my manager, or my rep, their manager, a video commissioner. That's where the creativity is a little harder to pin down.

It’s interesting having a job in a creative space because there isn’t just some button you can push to come up with ideas. Like when people say, “Hey, think of some ideas for this.” It’s really not that easy.

Totally. 

But talking about the artists you've worked with. You mentioned Code Orange and Knocked Loose. When you came up in this music scene was that the music you were listening to?

Yeah. So when I was younger, I'm 28 now, but all through middle school and high school, I played in lots of different punk and hardcore bands and toured. Did that whole thing. My friends were in a band called Xerxes that was signed to No Sleep Records, which was kind of a poppin’ label back in the day and so that was very much my world that I came from like the DIY punk hardcore scene. So naturally, a band like Code Orange -- I was friends with them and that was the music I was already playing and it sort of just kind of lent itself for me taking on those kinds of videos. I didn't like set out to specifically direct music videos, it just kind of happened naturally from the fact that I had a big background in music and all these friends that were in bands and all these connections. 

But at the same time, I stopped playing music and went to film school and then those two things just naturally lead together into one. But yeah, to answer the question: Yeah, I mean, that's the world I come from and that's kind of why so much of my work has been in that scene, whatever you want to call it. Obviously, I've worked with lots of different kinds of bands like pop-punk bands, indie bands, stuff like that. But it's all really under the umbrella of “alternative music,” that’s what I would call it. But the cool thing about having my rep is that she and the production company I'm signed with, they can kind of give me opportunities to write for artists and bands that are kind of outside my own connections. Like a pop artist or hip-hop artists or something like that. So, though I come from punk and hardcore, I love all kinds of music. I listen to hip-hop mostly these days. And so even though [punk and hardcore is the] majority of what my work is done in, I definitely have a strong desire to branch out and flex creative muscles in a different genre or different types of video. If that makes sense.

Yeah, so who are some dream artists you'd love to work with?

I mean, I’d want to do the biggest of the big. [laughs] I want to do a Beyoncé video [laughs]. I’d do anything, man. But the cool thing about my background is people kind of pin me down as always the “hardcore director.” But in reality, if you actually know me personally, you know that my kind of interests is so much broader than just hardcore. When I was 17, I was a hardcore kid. At 28, I'm just Max [laughs]. I can like Drake. I can like Beyoncé. I can like whatever. So really the dream artist is anybody who's willing to give me the time. I know that’s kind of a cop out answer, but yeah. Anybody who's just down to let me make some cool stuff. I'm always interested in working with them.

So do you think some advice to incoming videographers is to not pigeonhole themselves into just one category and instead branch out and try everything?

Yes and no. I think, oddly, some of the reasons why I've had consistent work over the last few years is because there is this network of bands in the scene. Whether it's the record labels I work with, I think just like any business you get hired because you get good at one thing where you specialize in something, like you know, a plumber or electrician or any type of business. A plumber is going to get hired to do plumbing and in that way, it's been good for me to continue to work with bands in a similar genre because it just keeps the ball rolling and you’re able to create a style. 

But that’s why I think, starting out, I think it is kind of cool. This has just worked for me. The thing about music video directing, or directing as a whole, is that there's no right or wrong path. It's not like becoming a doctor where you have to take a test, you pass the test and someone gives you a piece of paper and says you’re a doctor. Everybody's path to music video directing, or directing any type of production, looks very different. So I'm just speaking personally and what’s worked for me. So I think working in this kind of genre of music has allowed me to basically make a living. But I think once you get to a certain level, or have a certain amount of videos under your belt or if you're just bored and want to try something different, I think breaking out and not being afraid to branch out, that's the biggest thing. Be consistent and put yourself out there but at the same time, don't be afraid to try new things with new kinds of artists or people.

A good example of that as far as your music videos go has to be the Chapel music video you directed with all the giant breakfast stuff which we assume was pretty challenging for more reasons than one. Speaking of, what has been the most challenging music video for you to shoot personally?

I would probably say, the most challenging would probably be the [Code Orange] “Forever” video -- and then I'll have the worst day on set story, I'll share with you. But with [“Forever”], there was just a lot of logistics. I actually self-produced the music video. We shot in Louisville, Kentucky. So there's just a lot of working parts to the video. I mean, there's so much in it and the biggest thing, the challenge is the big pyrotechnic stuff at the end of the video. You know, if we were shooting in LA or somewhere like that, getting a pyro person is no problem. They're everywhere and you can get them. Normally, when I’m shooting in LA, there’s a production team, the producers will handle all that and make it happen. But trying to like, you know, maximize the budget and put everything I could into this video, shooting in Louisville was a better option, which is where I'm from and just finding a pyro team in Louisville, Kentucky was not possible. [laughs] There isn't anybody. So we had to bring people in from Nashville and it was just a lot. I remember being totally overwhelmed. If it was any other artist, I would have been like, “I can't.” But because my relationship is strong and special with that band and I care about the art and believe in what they're doing, I was like, “You know, this is an important record, this is an important single” and I just felt that it was like “You gotta go hard on this one.” And yeah, they ended up getting nominated for a Grammy for that song. I'm super proud of what they've done and seeing them grow. So I think just because I cared so much, that's why that was the most challenging one if that makes sense.

Totally.

And then the worst day on set was with this band called Motionless In White, which also involved a ton of pyro behind the stage. It was just the longest day and our gaffer, who had all the lights and equipment, he was a no-call no-show the morning of the shoot and set us behind. And then the pyro thing, we had all this fire on the stage inside this warehouse and it popped the sprinklers and sprinklers went all over everything and I had my camera in my hand and I'm like running out. And it wasn't clean water, this was like an old warehouse and it's black fucking sludge coming out of the sprinklers. And I was like, “Oh my god, dude.” I was freaking out like, “It's done. It's over.” 

But then somehow the crew like shop-vacuumed it all up and we kept shooting and then finally the stage caught fire. There was like 300 screaming tweens -- they were just fans but they were in the video and it was just straight chaos. Anyways, it was a crazy day. The video turned out, came out and that's all that matters. So what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

What do you think is one of the biggest things people misinterpret about being a music video director?

I think the biggest thing that people don't understand, the biggest part of my job that I didn't even know was the biggest part of the job is it's not just about “Hey, can you direct a video? Or can you make a video?” As a working music video director, it's all about writing. That's something I had no idea about when I first got into it. Like, you can yell action and you can shoot and you can edit and produce and make an amazing, clean product. But you will not get work consistently or at all really if you don't know how to write a treatment and accurately portray your idea and write it and set it up in a way that all parties involved can clearly understand. 

So the biggest misconception is that it's not just about being on set. So much of my day-to-day is writing and pitching. In that way, it’s not good enough to just be a good director. You have to be a good writer and a good salesman for the ideas that you have and that you believe in. And even if you don't believe in it, you have to make them think that you believe it. And then when you get there, and it turns out it works, everybody's happy. But I think that's the biggest misconception of what a day-to-day music video director is. It's a lot of sitting in front of a computer and finding reference images for your treatment or searching online for that one still [image] you remember from a movie that will be great to go into the treatment or coloring reference images in Photoshop. I mean, most of my job is that. It’s pitching. And then, that's intercut with the shoot days and the edits. But it's a lot of hard work and it's not for people who, you know -- production isn't like the cozy nine-to-five thing. You got to really want it and you’ve got to be willing to continually be putting yourself out there. And it's hard but when you find some level of success and work consistently [and] see people really dig the videos -- like the Knocked Loose video came out the other day and people were digging it -- that's when it feels like “Hey, you know this is really hard and sucky sometimes but wow, it's worth it.” 

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A post shared by Max Moore (@maxmoorefilms) on Apr 18, 2019 at 12:24pm PDT

What are some of your favorite music videos you've seen that really inspired you or made you wish you thought of first?

I think watching older Smashing Pumpkins music videos is huge for me. Also weirdly, My Chemical Romance. I was right in that era where they were huge when I was like in [my] teen years and I was certainly into hardcore and all that but I'm a sucker for pop-punk. I was into that kind of stuff and I was watching Fuse after school and stuff like that. So, those era music videos are iconic to me. 

From a young age, I always thought those videos were sick. [And] like Underoath videos and stuff like that. There's a theme of like, darker imagery that I was just naturally drawn to. But those are things growing up like, “Man, that’s so cool. I would love to do something like that.” [And] now I've gotten to write on some Underoath music videos recently, so it's all kind of full circle. I would love to do a Smashing Pumpkins video, that’d be amazing.

Did you ever watch Making The Video on MTV?

Totally! Looking back on that era of music videos, the music industry has changed so much since then with streaming and how the budgets were bigger for music videos. But I think now music videos are so much more important and relevant than they have ever been. You know, when I first started directing music videos, YouTube was really in its infancy for music videos. Vevo wasn't a thing, viral content was just getting on record labels’ radar. So I kind of slipped into the industry when it was in a lull, like YouTube wasn't this giant thing where music videos lived yet and here comes this little kid and I just had a DSLR and got into the DIY punk thing. Then as that rose back up and labels started to put in more money for music videos, I kind of rose with that as the internet gave a rebirth to the music video in some ways. 

I mean, certainly there was always the major label people that were getting good budgets even during this slump when streaming stuff started to come out. But for me, in punk and hardcore, I was able to slide in there and just -- there is such a big disconnect between watching Making The Video and then my early music videos because it's like a kid shooting in his bedroom some close up that is on a shitty $600 DSLR [camera]. I think even now, the biggest budget things I do now, I still always have that DIY, do it yourself, punk mentality. At the end of the day, even if I have like a 60-person crew, 40-person crew, 20-person, 10-person crew, I'm steering the ship and no one's going to care more about this video than me. And I just still try to take that kind of DIY spirit into everything that I do, even today.

Is there anything else you want to tell the people reading this?

I have a lot of kids DM me or email me asking like, “Hey, what lens should I get? Or what cameras do you shoot on? Or how do I get into directing?” And I think to kind of mass answer that or to give some encouragement -- I always say this but I think it's important -- I think it's so easy to get caught up in the comparison game of what camera somebody has starting out or where you live. I don't live in Los Angeles, you know. I live in a random ass city in the Midwest. And if you can just get away from all the bullshit and just focus on making really creative, cool ideas, then you're going to be somewhat successful over the people who just freaked out about the new stabilizer or piece of gear. 

There's a time and place for that, you certainly have to be good at the craft. But beyond that, it's all about being creative and sticking to being DIY. If you want to direct music videos, there's no reason why you can't. Especially [since] everybody's an artist or some SoundCloud rapper these days. So everybody has someone that they probably know, at least by like a few degrees that is making music. And like, my phone shoots 4k [laughs] so there's no reason not to be able to make something if you want to do it. So just get away from all the bullshit and all the distractions and really just focus on creating cool ideas that are unique and push the boundaries.

That's really great advice. 

For sure. And I think it's, you know, people always hit me up because they want an easy-to-click answer. But the fact of the matter is everybody's path is going to look different. And if you just want it enough and you have that drive, you're going to figure it out. I think that's just with anything in life, for the most part. So the last thing I want is to come off like, “[If] you do this, you will be like me and have this.” I just work hard and I try to work with artists that I like and that's basically it.

[mihanada]

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation / Mo Dao Zu Shi Final Trailer

“Final Trailer” because I lost count of how many of these we got lol.

If you read Chinese, you now know something about the year it takes place in (probably)! I can only read ‘Year 25′ haha. I guess the first two have something to do with the era name...

Anyways, we have the burning Burial Mounds again in this shot.

lol Gusu Lan...you really don’t like giving clear screenshots do you? So stingy! Their cloud motif flag was at a bad angle + difficult to see due to the colors in the opening and now you can’t get a good screenshot of the flag with their name on it...

So: Jiang, Jin, (can’t actually freaking read this but it’s Lan), and Nie

all four clans are here! Pretty sure we actually got this a while back, but I’m not sure if I screencapped it.

Alright, we’ve seen these shots before...

Some text I can’t read...something about 13 years later...

Ah! An extension of the summoning scene!

Mo Xuanyu is appropriately...crazed? here. His eyes are bloodshot and wide open, brow furrowed, his voice has that desperate strain in it, plus the grimace or tension in his mouth. The red energy from the summoning and the darkness gives him that sinister feel.

Can’t forget how he still has his makeup on! Instead of looking silly, because of the lighting, it looks sinister...he looks like an evil ghost himself.

Don’t think we saw this before. It’s a shot of the summoning circle, then a silhouette of Mo Xuanyu weaving before falling down.

Mo Village. The voice over is saying something about the Mo family. I think it’s one of the Lan disciples talking (sorry, can’t tell your voices apart yet...)

It’s the spirit attraction flag that Mo Ziyuan stole! It’s...actually kinda cute. I always imagined them a bit larger. Nice design though.

Is this our dear friend??

This is Madam Mo in some blue flames or something.

Ah, so this part is actually

Lan Sizhui taking off his outer garment to use against the hand. (you can tell it’s Sizhui and not Jingyi by the long strands of hair at his sideburns; Jingyi doesn’t have them.

Then we get the signal flare calling for help!

Why you gotta show sad baby Jin Ling. why.

You know, if you take this totally out of context-

I’m gonna stop there before I die of laughter or Jiang Cheng curses me or something. xD

There’s ultra pissed Jiang Cheng stroking his ring/Zidian.

You can see the design a bit better in this shot. The pattern is kinda cute, it looks like the whip that comes out from the ring.

I want to know if they ever needed to draw this guy smiling or does he just have three modes: resting bitch face, angry, angry 2.0.

I’ve always liked the Yunmeng Jiang’s purple uniforms though...

sorry for the Jiang Cheng spam

how do you play this standing up and holding one end I want to know

finally got a good shot of the Lan sect’s clouds motif except it’s on the clothes.

Lan Wangji’s pretty face!

I like this shot of his forehead band and the sparks drifting in the background.

I’m pretty sure the only way you can show emotion on his face 70% of the time is with his eyes narrowing and even then you don’t really know what he’s thinking unless you’re Lan Xichen.

Wen Ning flying to the rescue! Ok but that is a slightly terrifying sight if you were a random cultivator on that damn mountain just trying to do your job haha.

Look at those demonic eyes! And holy shit your nails, Wen Ning. Come to think of it...he’s dead. Do his nails and hair still grow despite that?

More Wen Ning because why not. The animation of him wildly attacking is pretty nice, you definitely get that unhinged feeling from it.

Speaking good animation, I laugh every time I see our dear friend’s arm flopping around. I always wondered how the heck this thing moved.

Nice fight sequence, nice fight sequence. Fluid, I can actually see all of their movements when I pause the video. Needs a gif.

Yess fight on the roof! Wei Wuxian, what were you doing, going on a liquor run in the rain.

Ah, Lan Wangji is the real mvp here. He continues holding the umbrella! lol 

Uh, considering the Lan people’s arm strength this is probably more treacherous than it seems?? xD

I love how Wei Wuxian just dodges around though, his movements are always so fluid, carefree, go with the flow - just like his personality.

Oh! The waterborne abyss scene! Very nice, very nice.

Yess, we get to see more of the awkward “flying on my sword” scenes. I still think it’s sort of hilarious but ok. um. at least it’s cooler than a broom right??

lol Wei Wuxian do you just want to be different and not wear the Yunmeng Jiang uniform or something. (I think it can be implied that he does wear it in the novel, it’s just the animation decided to go with a variation of his black clothes. notably, he at least seems to have different styles at different times in his life so they aren’t all the same outfit like is so popular in certain shows)

donghua: we must color code our characters for the viewers’ convenience

after this we get to see these two being blown around by the force in the air but I won’t subject you to seeing Jiang Cheng’s ass so we’ll move on

wait IT REALLY IS LIKE SURFING

Jiang Cheng why do we almost see more of you than Lan Wangji in this trailer huh.

But also: young Jiang Cheng! Aw, baby face. Still scowling though.

So Wei Wuxian’s eyes were...purplish grey.

that’s su she the ass. look, you wouldn’t have lived to form your own sect if this guy hadn’t rescued your sorry ass because you decided to mindlessly copy Lan Wangji and lost your sword.

Also, this waterborne abyss is sort of even scarier in the donghua just because it actively SENDS TENDRILS TO TRY AND CATCH YOU.

Ok.

So, now that we have two images at approx. the same angles of Mo Xuanyu and Wei Wuxian (young), let’s compare:

Mo!Wuxian.

young Wei Wuxian. Ignore the derpy face.

I actually am sort of impressed at how they made very subtle changes to his looks. While you can totally ID Mo Xuanyu as Wei Wuxian (they’re like twins lol) they don’t actually look the same. Mo!Wuxian does look older (he’s certainly older than 15 even if we don’t know the exact age). the young, original WWX has more of a baby face.

and, like I’ve pointed out before, he has that ahoge and his fringe curls more than Mo Xuanyu’s.

they’re still practically twins lol.

Don’t know if they’re actually going to bother mentioning Su She’s name, but here he is. lol he’s like a freaking rag doll.

also, nice shot of Wei Wuxian’s outfit from this time period?

In this earlier one you can see his sword’s scabbard and the Jiang clan’s bell (it’s attached to the belt/sash and not the sword, but on the same side as it)

I LOVE THE DETAILS OK

also the music is very nice

Who are you fighting, Lan Wangji?

Falling into a pool of water I see. That green is kind of creepy.

This is just a very pretty shot. nice perspective too

Alright there is something moving in that water! I can’t screenshot it though, it’s too dark.

WELL, that’s a wrap. That was actually a really long post omg even though a lot of this content was stuff we saw before.

Anyways, I’m really looking forward to the donghua now! ahh it’s gonna be so cool.

but I will probably have to break the live blog into 2 parts per episode or else tumblr will probably flip out on me.

[uclaradio]

Interview with Tritonal @ the Hollywood Palladium

Interviewed by Jenny Tong (On behalf of Deep End Theory)

We were able to catch Chad and David from Tritonal during their show at the Hollywood Palladium.

Hey everyone, I’m Jenny. And who are we with today?

Chad: My name is Chad. David: And I’m David and we’re Tritonal!

So there’s a debate about how to pronounce that.

Chad: Right, it’s “Tri-tone-al”. So a tritone is a diminished fifth and augmented fourth. It’s a chord.

Got it. What excites you the most about the “U&Me” Tour?

Chad: We have developed a completely new show that is projection mapping. We’re running time-coded visuals onto a structure, so every video has lightings with pixelated strobes. It’s a new experience for our fans, essentially. It’s a ton of work setting up and taking down, a big undertaking with a large crew. I feel like most DJ shows and festivals you go to always have LED walls, like a big square wall or wall arrangements, and we’ve been playing on festivals and done a lot of hard ticket tours, buses etc., and have done LED walls for 6-7 years. So we were like, let’s do something new, let’s bring it back to how it used to be, go back to darker, lights, lasers, people moving dancing and enjoying themselves. We are just trying to do something different for us and for the fans.

We know it’s been a while since you’ve last released an album. What was the rationale of putting it out this year and what was the creative process behind the album?

David: Honestly we like making music all the time. The funny thing is, we were making so much music, we thought we could put out an album.

Chad: And then we doubled it. The album now comes to around 20 tracks. We keep making music and they’re like “well, there’s another album”. With Painting with Dreams, there was a story, and this one has one too like Dave was saying, we were really got into a rhythm of doing what we were trying to do. We would love it if we could release a track every three to four weeks, but we constantly get kickback from the label we own. We have a 20-person team in London that runs in, and we’ve got Ahmed and Joe, and managers think it’s good to release music but it’s also good for people to sit with the music and marinate for a while. We’ve been highly prolific with “track, remix, album, track, remix, mashup”. We love making tracks and we’re just like done, next! And sometimes it is too much. So an album is a great way to release a big body of work that you’ve been working on for a while. And this one, in particular, has a lot of music.

Is there any reason why it’s called “U & ME”?

Chad: Yes, because we feel like there is massive divisiveness in our culture right now in the United States between everyone. It’s your race versus mine, your political agenda versus mine, your beliefs versus mine … Everyone is using their false sense of self to propagate the idea of “me and the other”, the otherness of others … but there isn’t that much otherness of others. We’re more connected and unified than we think. The media propagates this all the time, and what we see at our shows is that people at all walks of life come to enjoy the music in the same way, and care about each other in the same way. So really it is a message pointing towards unity.

Absolutely. That’s what house music’s origin was all about being inclusive and everyone being together. So who are some of these people you have looked up to all the time?

Chad: When I was a rave bunny - I was listening to the old-school Josh Wink, Carl Cox, Sasha, Digweed, you know, the deep European progressive guys. and then there was a big trance movement when guys like Tiesto, Armand Van Helden, and Armin Van Buuren and the Dutch superstar was born. Dave and I religiously listened to trance around the world at that point, probably 10 or 11 years ago. The OceanLab Project was still a thing at the time, and we connected with Anjunabeats the most in terms of emotions. We did that record shopping thing for a while, but going back to when you are making a lot of music, you are sending A&R a ton of different things, and they just tried to cherry pick on top. So we had multiple labels pissed at each other, so we decided to start our own team, our own brand.

David: Right. Those were definitely good ones. I’m a little younger too, so I came up with Tiesto and Armin, and even some non-EDM acts like Coldplay and the sound design of Pink Floyd. I really like the oddity of it, and I’m kind of all over the map right now, but these different influences all kind of come hand in hand.

Chad: Definitely. We still listen to really eclectic music now. We don’t really listen to the music we make now. We have this other side that people don’t really know about. Specifically, we love listening to Jon Hopkins, and anything piano-based, weird sound designs, deep progressive trance stuff, and chill, cinematic orchestra. So we’re going to figure that out. Maybe it’ll be another project that we’ll make. For instance, the first album we had a track called “Only Mortals”, which was a pointer towards Hopkins. This album has two or three, one of them is called “Sapphire” … which are way different and way far away from “Out My Mind”. But we are humans, and humans can have multiple interests, so who cares.

That’s for sure, many people have different stage names too.

Chad: Yeah, and I think we should do that. Tritonal is so prolific and it has such momentum with what that needs to do, like sure you can have outliers, but we don’t want to just do an entire album Jon Hopkin style. I used to not think that, but I do now. There should be consistency within lanes. You could jump around a little here and there, but there needs to be a medium. When we make a future bass track, it’s usually a little sexy and emotional, very much the same way as “Now or Never” and progressive house tracks. So even if we do different rhythm sets, tempos, the melodic structure and chord progressions and types of melodies, whether it is broken-beaten at 140 or 128 on the floor. Fans may not see it that way, but that’s how I see it as a person who writes them.

Speaking of your label, how do you manage your time between that and touring?

Chad: Will, as well as our managers Ahmed and Joe try to offset as much as they can. Ultimately, there is no right answer for that. I have twin boys who are 18-months, and a 3-year-old daughter, and David a 2.5-year-old son. When I go home on Sunday they’ll tackle me and I have to be ready for that. But we do know one way that doesn’t help is if you’re drinking, eating bad food, not having a spiritual discipline whether that’s meditation, yoga, exercise, and you’re just living in chaos. I love working out, I meditate, I don’t drink ever; he doesn’t drink when he is on the road. We love doing this, it’s creative and it’s fun, but it’s a business too. We do treat this as a career.

Dave: We get up every single day and this is what we do, this is what we love. And we will cater to that. If you’re drinking or doing drugs, they’re getting in the way. It gets in your way when you have three little ones at home who If you are single, and that’s how you want to roll, then do your thing. No judgment, for real.

Was just about to ask what advice would you have for college students?  

Dave: THAT. And I was one in college. If you really want to do anything great in life, it takes a certain amount of discipline and focus. Even if you’re good. The best people you will find are disciplined. The great always are. They’re good, they have natural talent, but they couple it with consistency. And what we’ve done is consistently putting out music.

Alright. So that’s the mantra of the year, thank you so much for your time.

[pleinedelavie]

a thought exercise (of sorts)

I think a lot of y'all can probably relate to a feeling of discomfort with the popular/Christian model of the afterlife in which people who live in a certain, very specific way are going to go to heaven and all others will end up in hell. The popularity of The Good Place, which interrogates and criticizes this concept, is a testament to this. So let's run with that. (This is a long post and frankly also a bit of a rant but I promise I have a point, please bear with me.)

At least for Americans, we live in a society that buys into this idea pretty wholesale. Almost everyone probably knows some people who are pretty religious, or at least has encountered someone telling them that eventually their sinful life will catch up with them, and they will be in hell. "Go to hell" (and variations thereupon) is a common phrase in our society and the concept shows up fairly often in popular media.

And I think most of us agree that while many of these examples are surface-level harmless, being endlessly confronted by the belief that you are doomed to some horrific end, that the ultimate culmination of existence is this idea that you find horrific, is pretty shitty.

So we start to push away from this idea, at least in our minds. Some of us might try to reinterpret these concepts, mentally redefine how this afterlife works in order to make it line up better with what we're comfortable with. Of course there are lots of other religions and philosophies with different interpretations of the afterlife that give alternative possibilities for what the point of our lives is.

And of course there's the other side, the final belief: maybe there is nothing after this. Some people find a certain comfort or at least logic in the lack of some final reward or punishment for earthly behavior. They don't need that promise of ‘life everlasting’ in order to find life fulfilling, because there's a lot to live for on this earth.

My belief, at least, is that there's nothing wrong with any of this, and if you don't agree you may want to stop reading because you probably won’t connect super well to the point of this post. (Yes, there’s a point, remember? Eventually.)

As mentioned before, the hyperchristianity of American society and culture (at least, I can’t speak to other places) means that anyone trying to stand apart in this matter experiences a lot of pushback, some subtle and some not. There's a view that those who try to reinterpret Christian ideals are doing it wrong, fundamentally violating the faith in an unacceptable fashion. And of course xenophobia is rampant, and those who believe in other religions or none at all are seen as somehow less moral-- and thus, implicitly, less human.

And on the other side... I imagine even those who have made some peace with the idea of no afterlife find the concept of that final end, of simply ceasing to exist, a little scary; personally I think it's terrifying, and I would guess based on  the concept of existential crises that this feeling is pretty common. Especially from a cultural context that's incredibly individualistic, probably because of the values from the same Christian obsession that brings us hell, there's a huge subconscious urge to fear that if we truly are gone when we are dead, that nothing we did had meaning in the first place.

Nevertheless, we believe what we believe, and while we can explore different paths I think that we don't really have a choice in what finally makes sense to us. So we walk that razor edge between the rather oppressive-sounding end society claims we are destined for, and the hysterical alternative it presents to make that end seem like the better option.

Now, maybe I'm just stretching out on a limb here, maybe I have been this entire time, but in my opinion, that description doesn't sound too different from the experience of being aromantic in modern society. To review:

We live in a culture that aggressively promotes something as a fundamental purpose of the human experience that we find repulsive or at least not especially attractive: romance

This concept shows up everywhere, almost ubiquitously present in music and fiction, seeping into language and pretty much omnipresent in public consciousness. We're often presented with the idea that even those who dislike or avoid romantic love are eventually doomed to it, with imagery like cupid literally shooting people with arrows actually considered charming (???), or the tradition of kissing under mistletoe getting brought up whenever two people who look like they might be a ‘good couple’ are vaguely near any hanging plant at a christmas party, or the trope of the aggressive matchmaker friends

The relentless push of this, the insistence that we *will* end up in a romantic relationship or at least experience simply as a result of being human, really sucks for aromantic people. It's upsetting for us to be confronted with it constantly with essentially no warning when we're just out here trying to have a good time. We feel attacked. (I'm using old meme language because this post is depressing to write and I needed to lighten up a little for my own sake, but I'm also 100% serious, it really does feel like an attack sometimes.)

We try to find our own way to be happy, some exploring romantic relationships despite not feeling attraction, or trying to seek fulfillment through different types of relationships such as QPRs, close friendships, family etc.

Some people aren’t looking for that sort of life-defining relationship; they genuinely feel fulfilled by other aspects of life.

(All of these approaches are okay and if you don’t agree kindly fuck off.)

We get a FUCKTON of pushback for this. Aros who come out to their romantic partners are often automatically dumped because they’re perceived as unable to hold up their end of the relationship; even if they genuinely love their SO, they're by default perceived to be 'doing it wrong'. This is especially relevant when the aros has certain boundaries because of their identity (or if they happen to also be ace, though that’s not necessary for this to happen), which to a lot of people makes their relationships fundamentally inferior to a relationship between non aromantic people.

The fucking insistence that *love makes us human uwu* means that those who choose not to participate in romance, or in any sort of life-encompassing interpersonal relationship, are seen as somehow less capable of being fully fulfilled or even just... Less human. If you don’t think this is true I want you to take a good hard look at how many aro/aro-coded characters in media are robots, aliens, villains, young children, or other groups not treated as fully human by the narrative. (I’m reblogging with links to articles about this because that’s apparently the only way to get tumblr to let it show up in the tag. There’s also an interesting movement called voidpunk which i think originated in the aro community that afaik is a response to this dehumanization)

This pervasive cultural drive toward romance also manifests as a sort of... I want to say internalized arophobia, let me know if that's appropriative since it is based off terms used by other groups. I, and probably a lot of other aros regardless of how genuinely proud we also feel, do have a fear that being without romantic connection will leave us unhappy, or worse that we are somehow broken. This feeling is terrifying and it sucks, and the fact that it’s reinforced and probably created by our amatonormative society means that there needs to be a change.

Finally, we are who we are. I'm pretty sure its not a challenging opinion anymore to say that you can't choose who you love, and that means aros are just as valid as any other identity. So I'll restate: we're stuck in a society that says either that who we are is impossible and we're going to end up somewhere we don’t want to be, or that who we are is horrible and will leave us fundamentally unhappy.

(If parts of this sound combative or frustrated, that’s because I am. We are. Sometimes, even often, it feels like society hates the very concept of aromantic people, and most others it feels like we’re just invisible. I personally don’t have the courage to talk about this in real life but all of the frustration has to go somewhere, so...)

I hope that this post helps you relate a little better to the problems that aros face. This post is partially meant for aspec people who want something to relate to, so I'd be really happy if other aros and aspec people weigh in, even/especially if its to point out the places where I'm overgeneralizing or just plain wrong. I'm not any kind of expert on this, it's obviously just my thoughts.

This is even more important because I'd also hope that this gets to non-aspecs and gives you some insight into our experiences with amatonormativity, because we are a pretty small community and if the world is going to get safer for us we need your help. If this post makes sense to you, please share it, because people need to hear it.

I don’t have a solution to the problems presented here, though the staples of this kind of thing are important: include aspecs, in your fiction and your discussions. think before you say something that might erase or dehumanize us, and if an aspec person tells you something you said was hurtful to them, listen. don’t constantly push romance onto people. (specifically @ some allo aces, many/most of you are fine but you know who you are, don’t put romantic stuff in our tags please god why). more generally, it would be really cool to start tagging things as romance or romance mention because some of us are romance repulsed and don’t want to be surprised by that stuff.

(Finally, because this post does talk a lot about religion, I do want to mention that I don’t mean to trivialize or take away from what religious minorities face, or say that our problems are one to one identical. Please let me know if some part of this is offensive because that's not my intention at all.)

TLDR: Since people seem to have trouble understanding how alienated aspec people feel in a society whose values are fundamentally hostile to our existence, here’s an example that might be more relatable.

[d00dt00nz]

Obligatory promo stuff at the top because it sucks and I hate it and let's get it out of the way! follow me on twitter where I'm active, check me out on spotify for music, or like my facebook for sparse updates on music stuff. Thank you. The Cover art is by Ellie Tison

I'm 27 years old. It's a really frightening number to look at. It's been frightening for about two years. Honestly I'll probably only come to terms with being that age when I reach 30 – a much more frightening number. I'm told that at 30 is when my body will just absolutely start falling apart, so that's something to look forward to. That said, mostly I just try not to think about it. Obviously a high number is not a problem in and of itself, but I definitely feel like I haven't accomplished things that I'd like to have accomplished by this point. That said, if you're a millennial and you're on the internet and especially if you're reading this, then you probably are in a similar crisis. We simply don't have the economic and social mobility that our parents had.

Many people my age don't dream big. Our dream is of comfort – of building something of our own, carving out our own nook in life. Somewhere deep inside, we want to live as our parents did. We want to brazenly rush into things as our parents did but we cannot. I think a lot of millennial anxiety comes from growing up in the colossal fallout of mistake after mistake from a generation that not only could, but did rush into things. It's made us hyperaware of our own place in the world while being envious of people who don't know their place – people who just seem to fuck up over and over again while running away from their problems and pretending they don't exist.

Some people are good at running away from their problems. I'm very bad at it. It's not for lack of trying either. You'd better believe I'm prone to clearing out like Fred Flinstone. Unfortunately it doesn't work out for me. I'm bad with change and easily stuck in the past – like many people my age. Others seem to handle it better. It's not some kind of moral blame game either. In a world where we don't have a lot of freedom, escape is the only real power. Escape is, after all (in theory), a change.

Which is all to say I know a bunch of people who went to china to become english teachers. On the surface it can seem like a fun white middle class adventure. Personally I feel the reasons are much more complex and (sometimes) a little bit more sad. Most people, I've noticed, go to escape a life where they feel stuck and unsatisfied. China the final cheat-code of the aimless middle class slacker. Of course it's a fantasy because you can't escape yourself. You'll just be you in a different place. The goal I guess is that you become thrown into such an intensely alien situation filled with so much stimulation that you'll temporarily become somebody who isn't you. Again, there's no blame here. I'd probably do the same, but I've got that nagging hyperanxiety about losing what I do have.

That basically wraps up the “inspiration” of the song. Specifically it came when me and one of my good friends shared a beer on my driveway in the middle of the night. He was leaving the next day to teach english in China. I had a sneaking suspicion he was doing it to escape from a relationship where things had fallen apart, but both were too afraid to let go. I remember feeling incredibly alone. There was so much movement around me and I felt like I was staying still.

Instrumentally the song started out as my third attempt to capture the feeling of Fleetwood Mac's Think About Me from Tusk. I heard the song and immediately became obsessed with it's relatively minimalist groove and vaguely manic energy. I've always admired how Lindsey Buckingham can write an interesting song on a small amount of meaningful chord changes. I also very much enjoy that 70s production style of having a million different guitars, organs, and keyboards in that make up a big, simple, layered groove.

The melody was difficult for me because it's at the edge of my vocal reach. It took a long long time to get a good performance and then it took another long time to get another good performance as to double track the vocals. As well, the chorus melody that I originally planned was too high to song so I had to figure out another melody. In theory I could have took the song down a key, but I'd already recorded the verses as well as the backing track at that point and liked how they sounded.

I mentioned earlier that I was trying to mimic the minimalist vibe of a Fleetwood Mac singing-blindfolded-naked-at-3am type song but this finished product is obviously a little less minimalist. I'm not sure if it was actual good decision making or self consciousness, but I felt like the song felt boring (I am deeply afraid of moments in songs where nothing is happening). I added the Phil Spector sounding oo-la-la's in the pre-chorus purely as a “uh I gotta put something there” type reaction, and I guess it just turned out like that because it's my default mode of indulgence.

The whistle at the beginning was put there because the opening sounded pretty dull. There wasn't anything to grab onto, and frankly the guitars were just .... there ... There wasn't any feeling like “ta-da! I'm here!”. The song just felt like somebody strolling into your house and eating your food without acknowledging you. I didn't like that. The whistle might sound synthesized, but it's not. It just sounds like that as a result of the double tracking, and the compression, and the limiting, and the eq, and the reverb, ect. It's a penny whistle that I found lying around in my basement, which, who knows what bacteria was on that mouthpiece (am I patient zero of coronavirus?). The thing was actually a little bit difficult to record because the penny whistle was in C and the song was not. I saw a guy on youtube half covering holes on a penny wistle to get sharps and flats so I just kinda imitated that technique and figured out which fingerings I needed in sequence. It took some pitch bending with my mouth as well but that's okay, it worked out in the end. I doubletracked it for good measure to make it better mesh with the existing instrumentation. I'm actually worried that it sounds a little “asian” now, which makes me worry that people might miscronscrew it as a racist gesture, given that it's also on a pentatonic scale which some people associate with chinese music (don't get me started on that). I promise it's not mean to sound “chinese” or anything stupid like that, and it's not even on any kind of asian instrument.

In general, love the song. I'm very happy with it turned out. It might be my favourite song on the album. I tinkered with it for almost a year, which typically just ends up with a big vortex sludge of a song, but somehow it came out better for it.

[seven-oomen]

So I hope you’re feeling better, and have managed to cool down finally.  A year or two ago, the A/C in my apartment kept going out, to the point where finally they had to just replace the whole unit, and there were days when the temp inside would hit nearly 33 degrees (according to Google’s conversion chart.)  As someone also very much built for colder climes, I was about ready to murder someone, but that would have required too much movement and energy expenditure.  So I know just how indescribably miserable that feeling is.  (Frankly if I ended up in Eur at any point, I would probably also cave and buy some sort of A/C, too.  Give me cold over hot any day.  I can always add more layers, I can only take off so many.)  Also, I hope you’re feeling better in general after therapy, and that it was at least helpful and cathartic, if super difficult and heavy.

I’m sorry your game turned out disappointing.  I’d seen a few memes pop up on Facebook with no real context that now make a lot more sense.  I think sometimes a sequel that just doesn’t quite live up to expectations can be worse than if it’s just a trainwreck from the start, because you can visualize how it might have been if only…

I did have one more thought on the HP front (oh god, why?  how?  I was never really even in that fandom…)  I can’t remember enough details right now to be certain if Durmstrang was more generically Eastern European coded or if it was more specific to certain countries, but I thought it wouldn’t necessarily be entirely out of the question that Noah could be a student there.  Chris in Beauxbatons is a no- brainer.  And Hale is already a British last name.  Basically, what I’m saying is Tri-Wizard Tournament, except they’re fucking.  (Which given what little I know about the HP fandom, that is probably not the first time someone’s said that…)

And I see we’re just going right for the feels with that flashback, huh? XD  Why do I have the feeling that there’s going to be a corresponding scene in the current timeline as a callback that will just make it hurt even more?  (My heart says Stiles or Malia singing it to Ben, my head says anything is good, really)  And now I can look forward to imagining John’s ghost lovingly Gibbs-smacking the three of them upside the head any time they start getting angsty about how the other two feel.  Do you have any FCs for (young) Claudia or her father (I think there were already at least a couple different actresses, so I consider her fair game)?  Or Julio?  And having a visual for him now makes me think of the flashback in Ch.6 where he was treating their injuries, wondering if he and Mieczyslaw ever did go to have a “chat” with Elias, if there was a specific event that lead to that particular incident between Chris, Noah, and Elias, and where Peter was during all that (and who kept him from “helping” his father with his visit)?

Oh, one more for the sibling prank pile: when I was in high school/college, a lot of times when I’d be over at this one friend’s house, we’d be downstairs playing video games with her little sister and/or brother (by which I mean, they would be playing GoldenEye or Perfect Dark, and I would just be dying a lot because I’m beyond terrible at FPS), if we were playing music “too loud” (usually No Doubt or Garbage, or later on, AFI), her older brother would go upstairs to his room and start blasting Queen or Pink Floyd at top volume to try and drown us out, like some kind of Stereo Cold War (instead of using headphones, or asking us to turn it down, or something else logical.)  It definitely made for some interesting mash-ups, and I always had to fight down the urge to ask him “…you know we like those bands, too, right?  Like, if you’re trying to dissuade us or irritate us, you’re doing it wrong…"  Long story short, I could totally see Stiles and Jackson doing something like this, until one of their dads gets so frustrated they start blasting some of the most teenager repelling music they can think of to make them stop.  Peter: “You think this Spice Girls mix is painful?  Keep it up and you’ll learn that I know where Chris keeps the Nickleback CDs he doesn’t think we know about.”

This was originally gonna be part of my review, but I wasn’t sure how long it might get, so I saved it for one of these.  So I know in a previous chat you mentioned Peter’s wedding day was one of the happiest of his life, and I know Chris calls them his husbands, while Noah said Peter’d been “practically proposing”, so I was wondering would they be considered engaged at this point, or actually married (like, werewolf married or something)?  Because I am entirely here for some kind of ceremony once shit calms down a bit.  I can’t see Peter resisting the chance to get both his boys into fancy suits to show off just how lucky he is.  And they could work all the kids into the ceremony in different roles, all of them dressed up, too, but allowed to style it based on their personality and preferences.  Think about all the photoshoot opportunities.  Not sure who would be the best choice for officiant, because I’m not sure who may or may not have popped up by that point in the story.  I feel like the most appropriate setting (based on present knowledge) would be the Nemeton.  Second option would be the back yard of the house once it’s been rebuilt, depending how far in the future that is and how long they want to wait to make it official (Or other locations, what ever feels the most right.)  Imagine Melissa (lovingly) roasting the everloving shit out of them in a speech.  T H E  D A N C I N G…  Just, like, a huge celebration of the fact that they made it through.  And don’t forget the honeymoon…  Them at very least getting a room in some super luxe hotel, even if they don’t want to go too terribly far away because of the kids.  Champagne, huge shower stall and Jacuzzi tub, giant bed with 1000ct sheets, balcony with a hot tub, just, like, all the nicest, fanciest luxuries.   (And because I apparently can’t get enough of them teasing Peter to distraction)  At the end of the night they all stumble into the bedroom, and get Peter sitting down on a chair or bench facing the bed.  They loosely tie his wrists behind him with the tie he’d been wearing, and slowly unbutton his shirt and slide it down to wrap around them as well (they all know it hasn’t a chance of holding him, that’s not the point) before backing away out of reach and going to work on each other’s suits.  Eventually they’re down to just their necklaces, dress shirts, and an extra surprise they had made for their husband; matching Chantilly lace panties specially handwoven with a triskelion pattern (I was thinking maybe out of lilies-of-the-valley, because for some reason I felt like Peter was a May baby, and that’s the birth flower for that month, and also I feel that would curve into the Hale spirals fairly easily and nicely.  And while I like the idea that it’s traditionally black, this one has a lovely blue shift threaded through it that would look AMAZING on them), and featuring thin triple side ties made from silk in shades of blue to match their eyes (‘cause maybe he won’t rip it if he can just untie it?).  Peter’s brain would just keep blue screening and rebooting as he tried to process everything, while they turn and crawl up the bed (giving a hell of a view as they go), turning back to him as they lean up against each other, trying to mock pout through their smirks like “Won’t you join us, husband?  It’s lonely up here without you."  His shirt just ends up confetti sized shreds of white cotton (or silk?) floating gently down to the floor as he surges up the bed at literal supernatural speed so fast he almost bounces off the headboard, trying to figure out a way to tackle both of them at once.  (…Holy shit, I cannot believe I just actually wrote all that out.  Apologies if it went a little far, as per usual, I may have gotten carried away.  In my defense, speculating about it kept me from murdering the guy who decided to open and start "testing” our dog whistles because he insisted the last one he got didn’t work, so.)  Actually, that also reminds me, we know that Derek has a triskelion tattoo, do you think Peter does as well?  Or gets one at some point?  Do you think Noah or Chris would ever get one, as a sign of pack loyalty, since the Hales are the ones that took them in when their own families cast them out?  (And also, that’s definitely a mark that’s not going to fade away, but also does not carry the risk of accidental turning.)  Where would any of them have/get them?

And re: review responses, etc.  Don’t worry if you don’t want to reveal too much ahead of time.  I generally figure a lot of what I mention is stuff that has a good chance of just coming up later in the story.  I’m equally happy with the previews we do get and with waiting patiently (I swear I can) for things to be revealed in future chapters.

Oh, and the cosplay!  (Sorry, meant to mention that earlier but I got…distracted…)  If you do ever get the chance to do that one that would be amazing!  By the time I got into TW I wasn’t getting to cons very much any more, so I’ve never really seen anyone cosplaying any TW characters, at least obviously.  And we so rarely got to see any of Peter’s beta shift as it was.  I will say that the Hale boys are some of my faves for fandom inspired fashion (basically where it’s not specifically a costume and most regular people wouldn’t get it but I know.  I’ve done it with a number of characters over the years.)  I have several henleys in colors that feel appropriate to the show’s wardrobe, that if I’m in the mood I’ll pair with some dark jeans and boots or black chucks.  It lets me express my fannish inclinations with less risk of anyone getting all judge-y about it.  I, however, can’t get away with wearing them with quite as few buttons done up as they do, there tend to be laws about that sort of thing.  I also have a cute floral dress that works really well for a Lydia inspired look, and plans for similar, slightly more obvious, versions for Raven (Teen Titans) and Black Canary, should I ever manage to get to a convention again (I’m much more prone to costumes that are adaptations over exact accuracy.  Nobody wants to see me in a spandex suit, not even me.)  But yes, full support and encouragement on the cosplay!  That look is definitely one that would catch attention.

Final unexpected segue: Many, MANY years ago we carried a product at work that was an anti-mating spray (yes, that’s spelled correctly).  It was intended for unspayed females that went into heat to help keep interested males away.  Many were the customers that bought it without paying attention who thought it would help with grooming.  I just thought it was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard of, and that was long before I knew anything about omegaverse fic.  Can you imagine something like that in a traditional a/b/o story? XD  I still think about that product every so often (no idea if they even still make anything like that), and wanted to share the hilarity.

Wow, just realized that it’s like 3am.  Jesus, I’ve been rambling a while.  But I think that was everything?  Anyway I’m going to attempt to go to bed, and pretend I didn’t just write more almost porn.  (There’s a quote from the movie Noises Off! [another fave, highly recommend if you’ve not seen it], where a character is referring to her ability to remember lines, and says “Well, it’s like a slot machine up here.” *gestures vaguely at her head* “I, I open my mouth, and I never know what’s going to come out; three oranges, or two lemons and a banana."  And I feel like that’s an accurate description of my posting style.)

For the FC I do, for teenage Claudia: Davina Claire (but imagine the brown eyes)

For Adult Claudia the actress Joey Honsa: 

And for Claudia’s dad (I’m not awake enough to copy Miech’s name fully): Gary Oldman

And Julio Delgado: Santiago Calbrera

Fucking tumblr... I had entire sections typed out during work but my phone freaked out and now it’s gone and I can retype it all over a again... am angry >:( 

Anyway, yeah I’m doing a lot better, ac’s on, I got drinks and shit. And I’m trying to rock my Reese’s pieces tank with Harry Potter booty shorts.

I’m gonna try and answer the most important things I wrote down and work from there. 

And now I can look forward to imagining John’s ghost lovingly Gibbs-smacking the three of them upside the head any time they start getting angsty about how the other two feel.  

There was a lot of Gibbs-smacking back when John was watching over them. Although he made sure to never freak out Chris and instead go for the ‘abby kisses’ on the temple and forehead whenever Chris did the right thing or was particularly vulnerable.

I also have this headcanon that John took care of Allison and Jackson for the first week or two because Chris just couldn’t. He felt alone at almost 18, just went through pure hell to deliver two babies he doesn’t really know. He loves them, he does, he’s just-, he doesn’t know how to feel. So John steps in and teaches him how to be a parent. It takes a bit of time but by the time Jackson and Allison are a week old, Chris is fully on board and would die for them in a heartbeat. And John just looks at him with this pride in his eyes and kisses his forehead. “I’m proud of you.” It’s the first time Chris hears that from a father figure.

And having a visual for him now makes me think of the flashback in Ch.6 where he was treating their injuries, wondering if he and Mieczyslaw ever did go to have a “chat” with Elias, if there was a specific event that lead to that particular incident between Chris, Noah, and Elias, and where Peter was during all that (and who kept him from “helping” his father with his visit)?

This I will address in the prequel, and maybe a very short teaser flashback.

And I was going to close this story with a wedding, a honeymoon, and a pack run at the end. ^^ And holy shit the panties idea is fucking golden.

I could not focus on my work today XD. What an image please do give me more if you think of them ^^. It’s a lovely idea to have Chris and Noah dressed in lacy triskelion panties while having Peter ‘bound’ in a chair. They’re making out, they’re all having fun. And Peter’s hard, like he’s trying so hard to be a good boy for them but holy shit if they keep making out like that, all bets are off. What a fantastic image. Although probably not the best when trying to work XD. (I don’t mind.)

Actually, that also reminds me, we know that Derek has a triskelion tattoo, do you think Peter does as well?  Or gets one at some point?  Do you think Noah or Chris would ever get one, as a sign of pack loyalty, since the Hales are the ones that took them in when their own families cast them out?  (And also, that’s definitely a mark that’s not going to fade away, but also does not carry the risk of accidental turning.)  Where would any of them have/get them?

He do! All the Hales do, it’s a coming off age thing for the wolves and some humans get them as well to show solidarity with their wolf siblings.

John had a tattoo on his left pectoral. His wife Kathryn had hers on her right shoulder. Nathaniel had one between his shoulder blades out of solidarity to his wolf brethren. (He was born human). Talia had hers on the right side of her abdomen just above her hip bone. Merlia had a tramp stamp triskelion. Peter has his over his heart. (The top of the spiral can be seen peeking through some of his deeper v-necks.)

 Laura had hers on her left shoulder. Derek has his between the shoulder blades in honor of his oldest uncle. Chris gets his on his left pectoral after he’s had his youngest child. (In honor of John) Noah gets his on his right pectoral as a mirror image after he’s had his youngest twins. (They talked about it before hand where they’d get them.)

Malia gets hers on her left wrist. Stiles on his right wrist in solidarity. Both of them on the inside. Jackson gets his just below his right collarbone. Allison gets hers just below her left collarbone. Ben gets his on his left arm when he’s old enough.

Not sure about the others but it’ll come to me.

Can you imagine something like that in a traditional a/b/o story? XD  I still think about that product every so often (no idea if they even still make anything like that), and wanted to share the hilarity.

I am wheezing. That’d be so fucking funny XD Anti-Alpha! Alpha be gone! Spray the horny away! (Okay I’ll stop.)

But now I am imagining Stiles making a prank like that where he just gives his pops (Noah) a spray bottle for christmas that says: Spray the horny away! And has a photoshopped picture of Peter on it with a red cross through it.

They have a good laugh about it.

[officialmaleclibrary]

This month we’re showcasing an author in the fandom who has written popular works such as Quite magical and A promise of forever. Pat is on ao3 as WendigoBaby and on tumblr as @maghnvsbane, and we’d like to thank her once again for taking part in the OML author showcase! 

1. When did you start writing fics? Tell us a little of your journey as a fic writer.

I believe I was 13 when I wrote my first ever piece of fiction (a really bad story about a lady assassin able to turn into a panther, don’t even ask) and it snowballed from there. For two or three years I used to do fics for this French cartoon called Code Lyoko, before moving to original stuff - it was a great exercise for keeping personalities and plot consistent, while also dabbling in character design. Then forth came Shadowhunters and I fell so hard for this show, that I’ve been stuck writing for it almost exclusively since the end of season one, with a small phase dedicated to The Raven Cycle.

2. What fic of yours are you most proud of and why?

My Simple blessings piece holds a special place in my heart, as I’ve poured a lot of emotion into it; the relief related to being able to love and be loved in return, the joy of domesticity and the intrinsic beauty of the world (or maybe I just love waxing poetic). The other one I’m proud of from a more practical standpoint is fire & gasoline; describing fighting is always a bit of a challenge, because you have to imagine all of the movements and stitch them all together into something that flows and reads comfortably, allowing the reader to imagine it all in their head. With that fic I feel like managed that quite decently and I'm proud of it.

3. Who is your favorite character to write and why? Which character do you find the most challenging to write?

My favourite is definitely Alec, since I relate to him in many aspects, both life and personality-wise: we’re both perfectionists, a little closed off and wary of newcomers, but tender and with a lot of love to give beneath a hard shell. Also we both love Magnus Bane, so there’s that. On the other hand, I feel like Simon is the most challenging one and it may be a strange answer, but his kindness and his specific kind of rambling, pop culture-related humour is hard to capture for someone more quiet like me.

4. What is the hardest part about being a fic author? The easiest?

Starting the fic and then bringing it to the finish line, definitely - the longer I work on a piece, the more doubts I get whether the idea is even worth the effort. Probably because the more I read over the same sentences, the more predictable they get and start to feel like boring writing, even when it’s only in my own head. I also get distracted fairly frequently by new concepts, which ends with me surrounded by half-finished fics that gather dust on my desktop. The easiest? Getting an idea - inspiration comes from anywhere and with time I start to hoard these little thoughts that one day may be born into full blown pieces - sometimes all it takes is half a sentence heard in a grocery store two aisles over.

5. What inspires you? Where do you find your muse?

Anywhere and everywhere, but most often from songs and aesthetic pictures I come across on tumblr. Other than that, it's movies, tv shows, video games, real-life conversations or even random things I dreamed about (although those tend to get a little strange and I don’t think should be turned into fanfiction).

6. How do you power through writer’s block?

I cry. No, to be honest, I just try to keep going. I write the most awful, kitschy sentences imagined and yell (complain and whine, more like) about them to my friends until it gets easier and my creativity flows again. If that doesn’t work, then I let myself take a day off, go outside, do something with my family or friends, or just start something new because pushing too hard for will just make everything  worse. Consuming new media also helps - going to the cinema, reading poetry or books, listening to music you'd never think you'd enjoy, anything to widen the horizon of your imagination and get yourself out of your comfort zone.

7. Do you have a favorite fic from another author?

Oh gosh, so many! Some Kind of Wonderful by magnusragnor/@magnusragnor (the best lifeguard au i’ve read ever, well-paced and characterized, I fell in love immediately and it’s one of the first fics that comes to my mind when someone asks for recommendations), and my heart is set on you, plus all of the single parent aus by @lightwoodlesbians /ohprongs (Charley has one of the most incredible styles with great natural humour and in-character writing; she is also one of the only people who can make me like children in fics), hold on to me (cause i’m a little unsteady) by ceciwrites/@daddariossmile (this just stuck with me, the soft way they interact, the whole concept of skating the way it’s used here, 10/10) and Appassionato by Chonideno (this moved me on a deeper level, the love of music included in this, passion written into every word, the original take on the concept of a first meeting, I love it all).

8. What’s something you’re looking forward to in season three of Shadowhunters?

As for Magnus and Alec, I’d love to see them have more conversations about the differences between them without death in the form of Valentine looming over their heads, as well as more casual intimacy and domesticity (hand holding, hello kisses, more hugs, a training scene, I’ll take anything). We’ve got a taste of Battle Couple, which I hope is just an introduction to more great scenes with them as a team. In general, I’m looking forward to Luke’s conflict with nosy Ollie (plus his hot date with Maryse) and more backstory on our favorite Downworlders - Simon and how he’ll get out of the Seelie Queen’s grasp, Maia’s and Bat’s growing connection. I miss this show already, I want to know everything!

9. Can you give us a sneak peek to what you’re writing next? Or at least any hints to what’s to come?

I tend to jump between ideas quite a lot and I like keeping them under wraps, so no sneak peeks from me! But as I’m looking at my to-write list, I can tell you to expect more domesticity, more canon fics with a sprinkle of aus and/or meet-cutes. The one I’m working on right now involves immortal husbands, pretty countrysides and a title inspired by one specific French song, maybe you can even guess which one it is?

10. Do you have advice for anyone who might be interested in writing fan fiction?

First - don't be afraid to start and second - keep going even if you don't feel like it. Writing good fan fiction takes a lot of trial and error as well as practice. My first fics were all around awkwardly written and as I continued with different ideas, I did get better. When it comes to finding the right balance for characters, it's good to read well-characterized fic from other writers plus meta posts as those tend to give an explained look into the character's personality. And if you're not sure about something, don't hesitate to ask others, just don't give up.

11. Does having English as a second language challenge you as a writer?

In some ways, yes. Although since I’ve been using English for about sixteen years of my life, it’s become almost like an extension of my thoughts. That doesn’t mean I don’t get things wrong, because I do, mostly in the department of grammar (all those pesky rules). Some words or expressions don’t translate well (or even don’t exist) in both languages, so as someone bilingual I have to maneuver my way around those obstacles either by looking through a thesaurus or a dictionary (I always have those two open when I write). Yet, beside grammatical nuances, strange expressions that make no sense when translated from Polish, and confusing words, the worst thing about being bilingual is forgetting the word I want to use in both languages at once. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!