#love me a guy who dies and comes back to life and dies and-
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there's this post going around like 'does it matter whether the resurrection really happened?' and it's funny because I'm usually a very 'it doesn't matter what literally historically happened' kind of person when it comes to religion but this post made me realize that the resurrection is one of the few exceptions where I Really Do Care and I find it very difficult to imagine or understand the idea of being a christian but not believing Jesus came back to life
because like
first of all, if he's God then why wouldn't he come back to life?? what makes the resurrection more difficult to believe than the incarnation??? unless you don't believe he's God, in which case we are having a very different conversation I guess
and second, if he didn't come back to life, then...??? he just... died??? then he was just some guy who died???? isn't, like, at least 75% of the point that he overcame death? 'o death where is thy victory' and all that? idk maybe I'm just too paul-pilled but I really don't get it
I'm not trying to be rude I'm just genuinely confused, I would love if someone who doesn't actively believe the resurrection happened could explain how they see it
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now that we’re 5 years out from the inception of the dsmp and a couple years? from its ending? i guess? (it well never end to me but im insane) i really want to talk about the audience’s response to tommy’s character and how it reflects both in-canon views of him and a phenomenon i’ve noticed at large.
this is prob gonna be long asf
a big reason i latched onto ctommy so early on was him not being the “ideal victim”, something people have talked about in the past ofc, but i wanted to talk about the specifics of that. there are characters who go through trauma and come out worse off, who lash out, who brood or are mean or flawed, and tommy had that as well, but i think the biggest thing both in universe and out, was that ctommy was ANNOYING. from the beginning he was loud and disruptive and rude. he would grief and steal and fight and just be a pain in the ass
and to many, being annoying is a far greater crime than being “flawed” in any other way. people like a brooding mean man who’s cruel because of his dark traumatizing backstory, you literally can’t escape those kinds of characters, but a character who’s just genuinely fucking annoying? people want those guys dead.
there was a popular tumblr post i still remember that was something along the lines of “a character can be a murderer but they can’t be annoying” and i never vibed with that but i do get where the sentiment comes from. from a purely entertainment perspective, it’s way more enjoyable to watch a villain than a character who you just want to shut up, i get that.
but what’s so interesting to me is the people who watched the dsmp and didn’t like ctommy because he was annoying were reacting the same way characters in universe reacted to ctommy.
i always go back to his death, or rather the characters’ reactions to learning he was dead. post prison-death, people celebrated, people cheered, and they had never done that before when a character had died.
(take this with a grain of salt because im not gonna rewatch hundreds of hours of minecraft livestreams to verify this, just take my dsmp-obsessed word for it)
when schlatt died, kinda the original and archetypal villain of the dsmp that all others would either emulate or at least reference, there was that moment where quackity was glad he was dead and ate his heart, but i don’t remember a wide spread cheering-in-the-streets kind of response, at least beside that initial “omg yay we won the war”
when wilbur died, he was much more complex than schlatt as a villain, but he very much terrorized people during his descent in pogtopia, and blew up the country they just fought a war for. yet there was no cheering at his death either.
but tommy, the annoying ass kid who griefed people’s homes and started little fights and was loud and rude, when he died? MULTIPLE people celebrated
and this isn’t a condemnation of that, i think we’re far enough out from the dsmp to not have to moralize these characters all over again, i just find it fascinating
because that’s a response i’ve seen many times before, to many different medias, and in real life as well. being annoying or cringey is a far greater crime than being cruel or violent
during the height of the dsmp, there was a very large group of viewers who HATED ctommy, and i’m sure there are still a few but i (luckily) never see them. and this wasn’t just one group, it was fans of all different characters who watched all different povs, and still so many people hated his character. and i think that’s an interesting reflection of the in-universe viewpoint of many characters. characters who had either bad faith or incomplete views on him who just saw a nuisance and a problem that was finally gone when he died, instead of an incredibly complex, loving, and hopeful character, subjected to abuse at the hands of multiple adults, charged with his safety
ctommy is a loud, annoying, at times painfully unfunny teenager, which to me makes his story hit so much harder. he’s not a sweet cherubic boy who never did nothin to nobody and was whumped by the narrative, he was a realistic teenager who was subjected to abuse and trauma, and not once did he deserve it
(no matter what those cdream apologists used to say back in the day)
the crime of being annoying is an interesting one, and one every single person is certainly guilty of
#i also wish fic writers would actually write him like that#instead of the ‘sunshine-ification’ of him as i call it#i love ctommy always and forever#ctommy#c!tommy#dsmp#character analysis#dsmp meta
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Tav/Astarion "emotional hurt/comfort" trope.
Because Astarion is majorly freaked out by the circus in Rivington. To be fair, Astarion would be freaked out by the cringe, uncanny valley "fun" of the circus, because to him it calls to mind the bovine nature of human boredom, and its pantomime equivalent to "real life," which horrifies him. It's essentially a cage full of masks, too many people who can't leave, walls on all sides as they all clap and nod in eerie unison. This reminds him of his own mask, his own cage, his own compulsions for performance, and it makes him feel unhinged. He is on the razor's edge. He would like to fight or flight immediately.
So his girlfriend Sansara the Rose, the elusive bard from Baldur's Gate, another high elf who loves him unconditionally, holds his hand and takes him behind the stage to show him the face paint. He is unnerved by the face paint. He tells her it reminds him of home in terrible ways. Part of what he always liked about her is that she doesn't "put on her face" in the morning. She just gets up and goes. She is like a sticky bun. She is a sun-kissed squeeze of citrus. She kisses his chainmailed shoulder, because it's all going to be okay, but she doesn't tell him that, not today, because he is occasionally stressed by her positive nature, which he can't help but view as naive. It's just fine, she thinks. He's doing just fine. He still wants to kill the clown.
On their way back to the crowd, San plays a little song on her lyre, just for fun, usurping the audience of another bard nearby. The bard starts an argument with her, insulting her needlessly and accusing her of trying to "steal his thunder." San outwits him, of course. The crowd claps. Her sharp tongue always amuses Astarion who is grateful for her patience with him at this haunted circus.
When they walk away, San tells him that she is glad he likes music, even if he doesn't like clowns.
"Music is not pantomime," he says to her. "Music comes from the heart. It cannot wear a mask." It's one of his rare earnest moments, out in the open, where others can see. They kiss next to the little guy who loves his wife and sells huge sculptures. The little guy says, "I like it!"
Back with Wyll and Karlach, San gets called up to the stage by Dribbles, who likes her singsong charm. Wyll is jealous because he LOVES Dribbles, a callback to his more innocent childhood. But then it turns out: that's not Dribbles at all! That's a fake. There's a fight. The impersonator bonks Sansara with a comically large hammer. She takes a stumble on the stage, and that really pisses Astarion off.
Finally! He gets to kill the clown. Which he does. With his sword. When it's over, Astarion feels a little better about the circus as he cleans the clown blood off his sword with a crisp linen handkerchief. It turns out they can just steal and stab their way through this place. It's no different from anywhere else they've almost died!
"Darling, let's go to the cemetery," he says. "There's a nice view of the canyon."
"That sounds pretty fucking good to me," says Karlach.
"I think I'd also prefer the company of the dead about now," says Wyll, picking the Displacer Beast out of Karlach's hair. "Can't say I like clowns anymore after all that."
So they go to the cemetery. Astarion picks the lock on the gate. As they stand near the fence and admire the canyon in the gentle light of the overcast afternoon, San says, "I didn't know you'd spent any time in Rivington. It's such a cow town."
"I've been everywhere in this hells forsaken place, love," he says. "It's like an anthill. I can't escape. I keep marching back. Like some fucking idiot."
"At least you're not alone this time," she says.
She's right, of course.
Karlach and Wyll, meanwhile, pretend not to watch them from under a nearby apple tree. Karlach eats her apple out of hand while Wyll cuts his into pieces with a knife. "You know I didn't like them together at first," says Wyll. "Thought he would break her heart. But now I see, his was already the broken one. She's like the sutures that hold the pieces together."
"That's a nice metaphor, Ravengard."
"Thanks, Karlach."
In a little while, it starts to rain. They decide to head back to camp. A priest is dead, they've learned, but they're all pretty much dead already. In their way. It can wait one night.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#tavstarion#tav x astarion#astarion x tav#tavstarion fanfic#karlach#wyll ravengard#oc: sansara the rose#i like writing these drabbles#so freeing
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Drew six of my favorite characters :3
I love characters who tell you they are selfish and evil and try really hard to convince you that they dont love helping their friends. its so funny. Dokja, Greed, and Lloyd you guys aare so silly
#I love when characters like their friends and cause extreme harm to theirselves#love me a guy who dies and comes back to life and dies and-#sonic the hedgehog would be here but he is hard to draw#Gillion i miss you forever I cant believe charlie accidentally undid your character developement#I like drawing dokja's face very simple since canonically its hard to see/remember because of the 4th wall#orv#orv kdj#kim dokja#omniscient reader's viewpoint#lloyd frontera#the greatest estate developer#UTAULOID#Kasane Teto#gillion tidestrider#jrwi gillion#greed the avaricious#fmab#fullmetal alchemist#chiikawa#suho kim#kim suho#tged#tged lloyd#tged suho
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So I've said multipe times now (here and here) that thinking nmj is just so blinded by privilege he doesn't undertand that acting out of line gets people killed is, in my opinion, a misunderstanding of his character that ignores the part where he's, you know, actively dying the whole time and thinks that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean I don't think privilege plays no role at all in how he views the world.
Specifically, his view that death (at least premature or violent death) means something.
Death isn't always a tragedy to NMJ, but it is always meaningful. If you kill an evil dangerous person for your righteous cause, that death had meaning. There was evil in the world and now there is less of it. Similarly, if you die in the pursuit of your righteous cause, that death has meaning, because the sheer dedication you gave to it that you were willing to die for it will further that cause, and your bretheren will be invigorated by your sacrifice to fight even harder.
If a death isn't meaningful, that's an injustice and it is up to the living to give it meaning. That's what cuts so deep about his father's murder. There were no consequences, no changes, no meaning. Wen Ruohan was just going to get away with it! He fights and wins an entire war to make it mean something, to make it so that the unjust murder of Nie Mingjue's father is part of Wen Ruohan's downfall.
But this is a view he can only hold because he's the kind of person who's death will be meaningful. Most ordinary people's deaths are meaningless. Not ontologically, not inherently, but they are made meaningless because no one cares. For death to be meaningful you either have to be so powerful that anything you risk your life for will be impacted in some way. (Like, say, if you sacrifice a long life for immense martial power in a faustian bargain with a blade) Or if people with that kind of power care enough about you to do so for you. For most people, this isn't true. A starving street kid has no power to change the unfair world that put them there, even if they risk their life trying, and no one will do it for them once they die.
Nie Mingjue knows this in abstract, and of course rightfully believes it's wrong. But all that does is make it yet another righteous cause people should be willing to die for. Everyone's deaths should mean something, we'll make it so or die trying!
This is what the conflict between nieyao is about at its core. Because Jin Guangyao, fundamentally, cannot conceive of his own death as meaningful. Nie Mingjue grew up around powerful men who could change the world but refuse to do so because god forbid they risk a single hair on their perfect heads. Meng Yao, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where no one of importance would blink twice if you died. He was surrounded by meaningless death. Indeed his entire early life is defined by that lack of care.
Meng Shi dies and no one cares. Meng Yao gets thrown off a flight off stairs and no one cares. He has to be the one to do the caring, and once he's gone no one else will do it for him.
So he has to live.
Jin Guangyao eventually gets far enough that he actually does aquire the power to change some things... as long as he's alive. If he changes too much, holds on too tightly to his ideals, he'll die and it'll all be for nothing. He can't sacrifice himself for his goals because doing so would immediately render those goals unobtainable. No one will care about what he tried to do. He won't be a heroic sacrifice, he'll just be trash that finally cleaned itself up.
And well... Nie Mingjue dies, and someone makes it mean something. Makes it mean so much that the entire story of mdzs would not exist without it. Jin Guangyao dies and it doesn't mean anything. Most people are glad to be rid of him, and the few that are not don't do anything to change that.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#meng yao#nieyao#of course the inherent tragedy is that nmj is totally THE guy to ask if you want your death to mean something#nmj's reaction the the fact that most ppl's deaths are meaningless is to go: yes and I should change this.#If everyone thought like me this wouldn't happen anymore I simply need to get EVEN MORE HARDCORE about justice to MAKE them care#and this quality- which makes him the one person perhaps capable of making jgy's death mean something- also makes him a threat to his life#so jgy kills him because he needs to live. And then his beliefs about the meaninglessness of his own death are doomed to be true#what else was he supposed to do? just die and TRUST that someone would make it mean something?#like his mother trusted that his father would come back for them?#of course he can't do that.#just like how nmj's upbringing means that by the stairs he can't see how jgy- son of a sect leader and extremely capable-#is any different from the men who wrung their hands and told him that wen ruohan is just *too powerful* they can't do anything about him.#(*guy who killed wrh and wil go on to kill jgs voice* i just can't do anything about my dad being evil)#if jgy had agreed to risk his life and asked nmj to make it mean something if he died nmj would have said yes.#which is why he can't understand jgy wouldn't just ASK that.#jgy meanwhile has not been informed that was a fucking option and if he was wouldnt be able to trust that it'd actually happen.#for reasons outlined above#ahhh tragedy and inability of characters to understand each other i love you
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You ever suddenly remember an OC you made years ago. I just remembered an OC from the 8th grade I named Pecan
#literally the whole plot of pecan's story was that he lived a life without making any impact on the world#positive or negative#which meant he could be resurrected.#the reason most people couldn't be brought back to life in this story was because they already left their mark on te#*the world#so when a big bad figures this out and tries to summon the undead#pecan is there. a high schooler who died in a car accident.#normal average guy#he had a love interest who was another teenage boy who was a would-be union civil war soldier#who died before he could actually participate in the war#and they were busy babysitting an infant girl who ALSO got resurrected because she was a fucking baby#and also like. saving the world at the same time#there was a fourth kid too i think. a 12 y/o boy with epilepsy who drowned#anyway this is all literally coming back to me as i type this. pecan my poor forgotten boy
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My Girl (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Hey guys!! So sorry this took so long. Here is the secret relationship/breeding kink fic. I honestly really like this one...and I hope you guys do too. Was listening to "Juna" by Clairo while writing it, but went with "My Girl" for the title. ENJOY!
Summary: You and Logan have been in a secret relationship for months, but everything comes to a head when a new mutant visits the Institute, and won't leave you alone...Logan shows him, and you, who your man is.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT!!! Thigh riding, Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), breeding kink, praise kink, possessive!Logan, jealous!Logan, unspecified/implied!Age Gap, established relationship, creepy!OC who hits on reader and doesn't lay off, minor violence, afab!/fem!reader, fluff/feelings, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it?
Word Count: 5,313 this is why it took so long also, smut right under the cut...
You remember the first time he fucked you, vividly.
It was late at night, after a mission. You almost died in his arms. And that was what broke that thing inside him, the burden of time that he carries, that deep-seated pain that made it justifiable to stay away from you. He had held back for so long—had done his all to resist falling for you. He was screwed from the beginning, and he knew that. But he had become so terrified at the thought of losing you that he hadn’t realized it could happen all the same if he stayed away—if he forced himself to remain a friend.
So, when he fucked you that first time, that first night, he fucked you like it’d be the last—the only time.
“Goddammit, so fucking perfect,” he mumbled, his lips bruising yours, shoving himself deep inside—as deep as you could take him. “Needed you this whole time. Can’t live without you.”
“Logan,” you whined, his hips snapping against yours. “D-don’t stop, please.” “Never gonna stop, pretty girl,” he promised. “Can’t go back. Can’t be anywhere but here.”
For months now, you’ve been together—but nobody knows. There’s no doubt about commitment—nothing casual about the relationship in the slightest. You start and end every day in Logan’s bed. You’ve talked about running off together, getting married, and settling down. For the first time in his long life, Logan sees a future where he’s happy—genuinely happy.
The sun peaks through the curtains. You curl yourself into Logan’s chest. His arms are wrapped around your back, holding you tight against him, even in his sleep. You listen to his breathing as the fall breeze creeps through the open window. Everything is calm and quiet in the morning, when everyone is still tucked away in their bedrooms, sound asleep.
Logan groans, tugging you closer to him, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Go back to sleep.” His voice is heavy, laden with exhaustion. “Too early.” He kisses the spot just under your ear, and you moan involuntarily, feeling extra sensitive in the haze of the morning. He smiles softly against your neck, and kisses you again, his teeth grazing your skin. You moan louder this time, intertwining your legs with Logan’s. “Love those pretty little noises you make.”
“Feels good,” you murmur, his thigh slotting between your legs, pressing against your core. You can’t help but grind down on his thigh, rocking your hips back and forth. “Need you, Lo,” you beg.
“You’re gonna ruin me,” Logan husks, his palms warm against your bare skin as he slips underneath your shirt—which is really his.
He’s slow in the morning, pressing soft kisses on your bare shoulders, letting his touch linger longer than normal. He likes the peace of it all—waking up to each other, smelling you next to him, feeling the other side of his bed warm and full of you. When he fucks you, early like this, he takes his time.
His fingertips trace the curves of your stomach, falling into your dips, gripping your flesh. Logan breathes you in, his lips softly melting into yours. “Still too early?” You mumble between soft, lazy kisses.
“Never too early to want you,” Logan husks, dragging his thigh against your core again. “Always need you.” You can feel his erection through his boxers. “Gonna take care of my girl. Gonna make you—”
There’s a knock at the door. “Logan?” It’s Scott’s voice on the other side. He knocks again. “Logan, you in there?”
Logan tries to ignore him, his fingertips dragging down your sides, bumping into the hem of your panties as he trails wet, open-mouthed kisses down the hollow of your throat. You let out a breathy moan as Logan bites down on your pulse point. He smiles under your jaw at the soft sound, content that you can’t hold back.
“Logan,” you whisper, running your hands up his arms, to his shoulders, your fingertips finding the nape of his neck. “He’s not gonna stop.”
Sure enough, Scott knocks again. “Logan, I know you’re in there,” he calls, banging on the door now. “Wake up. We have some tech guy on his way.”
Logan groans into your neck. “Why do you need me, Summers?” Logan licks your collarbone teasingly, hiking your t-shirt farther up your body.
“He’s…a mutant,” Scott explains. “He can speak with machines, computers, code—you name it, he can do it. He’s gonna fix some stuff around the mansion. Charles asked me to make sure you’re awake just in case…” Scott trails off.
Logan finishes Scott’s sentence. “In case everything goes to shit?”
“I wasn’t going to say that,” Scott huffs, likely shaking his head on the other side of the door. “But yes. In case things don’t go as planned. I’m also looking for—"
But Logan cuts Scott off, saying your name for him.
“Yeah, I can’t find her. Do you know where she might—”
“On a run,” Logan chimes in, and you suppress your laughter by pressing your face into his chest. “She’ll be back soon.” Logan’s arms wrap around your back, holding you against him.
“Alright,” Scott says, shuffling, slowly stepping away from the door. “If you see her, let her know what’s going on, okay?”
“Trust me bub,” Logan husks, his fingers digging into your flesh, tickling you. “I’ll make sure she knows.”
Scott mumbles something unintelligible as he walks down the hallway, his footsteps echoing as he disappears down the stairs.
Logan’s lips are attached to your neck again, sucking playfully. “Where were we?” He teases, his nails grazing down your back. His palms settle on your ass, squeezing your flesh tightly in his hands.
You moan, your chest flush with his. “Logan,” you whine. “We need to get up,” you insist, your hands pushing against Logan’s broad shoulders, your fingers digging into his muscular biceps. “Can’t stay in bed anymore.”
Logan grunts, his thigh still nudged between your legs, rocking into your core. You want him, and it’s tempting to let him take you right here, right now. But you can’t. And he knows it. He presses a chaste kiss to your lips and pulls you tightly into his chest. “Later,” he promises, his lips finding the shell of your ear. You smile at the thought. There was always a later with Logan.
You snuck out of Logan’s room, unnoticed, as always. It was still early—too early for the ruckus of a morning at the mansion to begin. You got ready for the day and slipped downstairs. You’re still shocked at just how oblivious the rest of the team is. Truly, no one knows about you and Logan.
You’re in the kitchen now, nursing a cup of coffee, waiting for the day to start. Familiar, heavy footsteps approach, and you smile before you can even see his face.
“Hi pretty girl,” Logan coos, standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your front. You lean into him, feeling the warmth of his chest and the strength of his heartbeat. He presses a chaste kiss to the crown of your head and walks over to the coffee pot.
Scott enters the kitchen as Logan takes his first sip of coffee—one second earlier and he would have seen Logan holding you. “The guy is here,” Scott announces from the doorway. He looks at you and smiles. “Oh! Hey! How was your run?” He asks cheerfully.
You almost spit out your coffee, remembering what you were actually doing this morning. “Great!” You say, doing your all to hold back your laughter. “Surprisingly relaxing.” Logan snorts and plays it off like he’s sniffling.
Scott smiles, none the wiser, and nods, cocking his head towards the hallway just outside the kitchen. “Come meet the tech guy!” He backs out of the doorway and into the hallway. Logan settles his coffee cup—which reads #1 Professor—next to yours on the counter and gives your waist a quick squeeze as you hop out of the chair. You walk shoulder to shoulder into the foyer. All the signs of your relationship are there—out in the open—and yet, still, no one seems to catch them.
You step into the foyer, and there’s Scott and the Professor by the front door, chatting with a younger man—who’s about your age. The man’s eyes find yours, and he smiles softly. “Hi there!” He calls, waving. “I’m Mark!” He strides away from Scott and the Professor and towards you. “But you can call me Techno.” He smirks and winks, extending his hand out, waiting for you to take it.
Logan grabs his hand instead, gripping it tightly, catching Mark off guard. “Wolverine,” Logan growls. “And you can’t call me Logan,” he adds, gritting his teeth. “So, you turn on computers, bub?”
Mark grimaces, wrenching his hand from Logan’s grasp. “A little more than that,” he asserts, closing his eyes and bawling his fists. You look up as the lights flicker, and televisions turn on and off. Your cell phone rings in your pocket, and you pull it out. The screen reads: Incoming Call from Mark.
Your lips part. “How did you…” You trail off.
Mark shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. “My powers essentially let me communicate with electricity and tech,” he explains. You can practically hear Logan seething beside you.
“A technopath,” Charles offers as he rolls over to join the three of you with Scott in tow.
“Exactly,” Mark says, nodding to Charles. “Makes it easy to put my number into pretty girls’ phones.” Mark winks at you, and you press your lips into a straight line in response.
You shake your head. “I’m not inter—”
You’re cut off by the sound of Logan’s claws unsheathing. “These,” Logan pauses, lifting his claws to Mark. “Make it real easy to hurt creeps who put their numbers into girls’ phones without asking first, bub.”
Mark rolls his eyes, and the corners of your lips twitch up. You try to force down your smile, try to slow the rhythm of your heart. You secretly liked when Logan got possessive over you. He was inherently protective, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on just a little.
“Let’s stay on course,” Charles reprimands, guiding Mark to the hallway to the left with a wave of his hand. “Let me show you some of the machines I’d like you to work on.”
“It would be my pleasure, Professor Xavier,” Mark says harshly, his eyes locked on Logan as he backs away to follow Charles and Scott.
Logan lowers all but his center claw, giving Mark the middle finger as he turns around. “Don’t mind Logan,” Scott says as they disappear into a room, the door shutting behind them.
“Logan,” you whisper, now that everyone is gone. “Don’t worry,” you assure, bringing a hand to his shoulder.
He turns to look at you. “He’s a fucking creep.”
“It’s going to be fine.”
It is not going well, or fine.
Mark is something of a nuisance. He’s only been here for an hour, but he has already created multiple excuses to talk to you, to pull you away from whatever task is at hand.
You’re in the middle of teaching an English class, discussing Mrs. Dalloway with a group of older students. “So, what are we to make of Clarissa and Sally’s relationship?” You ask the students, to no avail.
This was your hardest class of the day—especially given the fact that you’re not even a decade older than most of the students. You had joined the X-Men in your early 20s, your powers having shown themselves a bit later than in most mutants, and only a few years have passed since then. Convincing the students who have been here their whole lives that you deserve to teach has been nothing short of a challenge.
So, when Mark butts his head in on your class, annoyance burns through your body. You take a deep breath and swallow down your frustration.
“Hey!” He chimes, his head poking through the open classroom door. “Mind if I take a look at your computer really quick?”
The class perks up, more focused on you than they were just seconds ago. You fake a smile, nodding and pushing yourself off the front of your desk so that he has space to access the computer.
He slips behind the desk and smiles widely. “You didn’t have to move,” he remarks. “Would’ve been nice to have you close.”
You want to gag. You turn away from the students, whispering so they can’t hear. “Listen,” you chide, narrowing your eyes. “I am not interested, so could you please—”
“What are you doing in here, asshole?” Logan’s voice echoes against the walls of the classroom. For the first time all year, the class is paying incredibly close attention. “The Professor told you to check the computers in the lab down the hall.” Logan fully enters the room, striding over to Mark, his hands bawled into fists at his sides. “Beat it, bub.”
“Whatever,” Mark mutters, his head down as he exits the classroom. The bell rings, and the class stands, grabbing their things and filing out the door.
You groan. “Please read the next twenty pages for tomorrow!” You shout over the hubbub and shuffling of students. “I know it’s a challenging novel, but I think you guys can…” The students are gone before you can finish your sentence. “Handle it.”
Logan smiles sympathetically, closing the distance between you and him. His presence is comforting, warm, everything you’ve ever needed. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. “Sorry,” he apologizes, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “Didn’t mean to make your class harder than it is already.”
You take a deep breath, your annoyance fading away. “You helped,” you whisper. “Mark is the one who ruined things,” you insist. “He won’t leave me alone.”
Logan chuckles. “You don’t like him?” He teases. “Don’t like a guy your own age flirting with you?” He’s egging you on, trying to joke, but you can tell part of him is a bit serious.
You shake your head. “Only like you.” You press your lips to the hollow of his throat and Logan grunts.
He reluctantly pulls away, the palms of his hands dragging down your arms, his fingers intertwining with yours. “Gotta get to my class,” he husks, his fingers slipping, tugging longingly as he steps to the door. “Meet me after?” He asks, but he already knows the answer. You’ll be outside his classroom door before the bell rings, waiting for him.
You nod, and he smiles, his hands gripping the doorframe like some invisible magnet is pulling him away, and he’d give anything to spend another second with you. He slips down the hallway, and into his classroom.
You spend the next thirty minutes or so grading papers, waiting for the period to end so that you can walk across the hall to Logan’s class. Another few minutes pass, and you start to collect your things, readying yourself to meet Logan. Your heart thumps in your chest at the thought, even after all the months you’ve spent together.
You grab your bag and head to the door, closing it behind you and locking up. You cross the hall and stand outside Logan’s door. He’s teaching a younger group of kids—ten to eleven-year-olds. You would trade places with him in a heartbeat if you could. The younger students loved you. There was no question of respect, no doubt of your power. But Logan was given the class as a challenge—Charles wanted to test his patience.
And, honestly, seeing him with the children did something to you. You loved watching the way he doted on them, carefully explaining material in a way they’d understand. He was an excellent teacher, and one day, you’re sure, he’d make an even better father. You find yourself falling into fantasy: Logan, late at night, a baby—your baby—on his chest. You can see it now—him changing a diaper, teaching the child to walk. Your heart squeezes in your chest, your eyes falling closed as you daydream about the future—your future together.
You’re so distracted that you don’t hear Mark walk up to you—don’t feel his hand grab your shoulder.
You yelp and jump. “Oh my god,” you mumble, turning around and coming face to face with him.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, his hand lingering for far too long on your shoulder. He finally peels away, his arms falling to his sides. He leans against the wall, trying to appear casual and cool. “What are you doing tonight?”
The bell rings before you can think of a polite way to shoo Mark away, and the students exit Logan’s classroom, happily shouting greetings in your direction. You stood outside Logan’s door every day, and the students were always excited to see you.
A few of them run up to hug you, complaining about Logan’s gruffness. When they hear Logan’s footsteps approaching the door, they bolt down the hallway, their laughter booming against the walls.
Logan steps out into the hall, and he groans audibly when he sees Mark next to you. But Mark ignores Logan, his eyes trained on yours. “Got plans?” He asks again.
You roll your eyes. “Dude, I’m not interested!” You groan, too irritated to pretend to be nice. Mark smirks and parts his lips, ready to persist like the creep he is.
Logan steps in front of you, his claws already out. “Listen, bub,” he growls, his claws just inches from Mark’s chest. “If you don’t fuck off and stop harassing my girl, we’re gonna have a problem.”
Mark scoffs. “My girl? What are you, her father? You can’t possibly be dating her.”
You can see the anger in Logan’s eyes, the honest rage. “Lo,” you soothe. “Don’t do it.” But you know it’s too late. His decision is already made.
Logan shoves Mark against the wall, his claws pressed against his throat. “I’m her fucking boyfriend, bub,” he grunts as Mark squirms helplessly under his hold.
“Oh, her boyfriend?” He teases, despite the fear in his eyes. “Aren’t you too old to be a boyfriend?”
Logan shoves him harder into the wall, and Mark yelps pathetically, like a small dog. “More serious than that,” Logan asserts. “Guessing you wouldn’t know anything about that though, would you?”
“Alright, break it up!” Scott’s voice echoes from down the hall. He runs over, Jean and the Professor by his side. Rogue and Gambit follow close behind. But Logan doesn’t budge, the tips of his claws almost digging hard enough to draw blood.
You bring your hand to Logan’s shoulder. “He isn’t gonna hurt me,” you whisper to Logan. “I could handle him easily if he tried.” You slide your hand to the nape of his neck, trying to soothe him, to relax him. “Nothing’s going to happen, okay?”
Logan retracts his claws and lets go of Mark, who stutters away from Logan and into the center of the hallway. “I’m getting the fuck out of here!” Mark shouts, but Logan doesn’t react. He simply intertwines his fingers with yours.
“You okay?” He asks, his thumb brushing circles into the side of your hand.
You arch a brow. “Are you okay?” You smile and lean into him.
“So…” Scott trails off, interrupting. “You two are…”
“Together.” You finish his sentence, your eyes still on Logan’s. You can feel the tension in his shoulders stretch down to his hand. He’s rigid, still on edge. You know he needs to get out of here, needs to be alone with you.
“How long has this been going on?” Scott asks, genuinely caught off guard. “Did anyone know about this?”
You turn to the team to see heads shaking side to side—save for the Professor. “I did, of course,” Charles confesses. “But I felt it was best left a secret until the two lovebirds decided otherwise.”
Rogue shakes her head, the corners of her mouth twitching up. “I can’t believe you never told me!”
“Told you what?” Jubilee calls from down the hall, approaching the group. She blows a bubble as she stands next to Rogue, her eyes trailing down to where your and Logan’s hands connect. Her eyes widen and her bubble bursts. “No way!” She cheers, jumping up and down.
“Settle down,” Charles laughs, extending his hand down the hall to where Mark was just moments ago. “Scott, make sure our technopath friend makes it out the door alive.” Scott nods and heads down the hall. Charles turns to you and Logan. “As for the two of you,” he pauses, winking. “We’ll discuss more at a later point.”
You smile in understanding, and Logan squeezes your hand—another sign it’s time to go. He’s still worked up about Mark; he needs to get this out of his system, needs to relieve all the built-up tension.
“Got something I need to take care of,” Logan says to the group, tugging you down the hallway.
He strides through the mansion, practically yanking your arm out of your socket. “Logan,” you whisper, trying to catch his attention. You’ve never seen him like this—rage and jealousy like fire in his eyes, dripping from his pores. He leads you up the stairs and towards his bedroom, and it suddenly dawns on you what exactly he needs to take care of.
Logan pushes the door open and slams it closed the second you’re inside. His hands are immediately on you, grabbing at the pillowy flesh of your ass, pinning you to the door. His lips find yours—hungry and rough, the wiry hairs of his beard scratching your face. He tastes you, his tongue seeking more of you as it swipes across your lower lip. You open your mouth, inviting him in, your tongue tangling with his.
Logan hoists you up without breaking the kiss, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist. You can feel his erection straining inside his jeans, pressing against your heat. He grinds into you as one hand slips under your top and drags up your back, holding you tightly against him.
“Need you,” he mumbles against your lips. “Always fucking need you.” He tears you away from the door and towards the bed. He throws you onto the mattress and climbs over you, slowly, like an animal stalking its prey. “Tell me you need me, pretty girl.”
“N-need you,” you stutter as he settles on top of you, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.
“I’m not too old for you?” Logan teases, one of his hands loosening its grasp on your arm and trailing down your body, settling on the hem of your shirt. “You don’t wanna be with anyone else?” He hikes up your top, pushing it above your breasts.
You can feel the heat pooling between your legs. “No,” you whine, arching your back as his fingertips play with the bottom of your bra. “Only wanna be with you,” you breathe as Logan slowly, teasingly pulls your bra up. “Please,” you beg, spreading your legs wider. “Want you to fuck me.”
Logan smirks, finally tugging your bra and top over your head and casting them to the floor. “Gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” Logan soothes, palming your breasts with his free hand, rolling your nipples under his thumb.
“Fuck,” you moan as he pinches a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
Logan hums, his fingertips trailing across the valley of your breasts, doing the same on the other side. Logan pinches harder, and you moan louder this time. “That’s it,” he coos, his lips finding your pulse point, sucking roughly. “Don’t be quiet, darlin’,” he demands. You whisper his name, your voice whiny and needy. “Show me how much you need me. Keep making those pretty little noises, baby.”
“Feels good,” you whimper as his hand traces down your stomach, to your hips, gathering the fabric of your skirt in his fist and yanking it up to your waist.
He chuckles darkly. “You wore this just for me?” He asks, his thumb hooking inside the waistband of your panties, pulling them down your legs. “Wanted to make it easier for me to fuck you?”
“Fuck, yes, just for you,” you pant, watching as Logan lifts himself off you, tugging his t-shirt up and over his head. He dexterously unclasps his belt buckle and throws the leather to the floor. He balances on his forearm as he unbuttons and unzips his jeans, pushing them down his thighs along with his boxers. “I’m all yours, Lo,” you promise as he presses his forehead to yours.
Logan’s hand glides down your side, slipping between your legs and finding your folds. You moan as his fingertips prod at your entrance, spreading your slick. “Fuck, all this is for me?” He pinches your clit before swiping through your folds again. “You’re soaked already, princess.” His fingertips brush your clit, tracing achingly slow circles into the bud.
You rock your hips against Logan’s touch, searching for more friction. “Logan, need you,” you whine, squirming underneath him. “I’m yours.”
“All mine?” He whispers, his touch suddenly disappearing. You groan at the loss of contact. “Say it again, pretty girl,” he demands, guiding his cock to your folds.
“All yours,” you answer, trying to move your hips lower to feel just an inch of him. “Please just—”
Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he slams into you, down to the hilt with one thrust. He throbs against your walls as he works you open, his hips still, his cock splitting you in two. “Fuck,” Logan grunts. “So fucking tight. Perfect little pussy. Wanna stay right here forever. Maybe I won’t even fuck you. Maybe I’ll just make you sit on my cock.”
But you need him to move, need him to take you. “Logan, f-fuck me,” you choke, trying to move your hips. His hand grips your waist, stopping you from sliding up his length. “Please, move,” you plead.
“So impatient,” he chides, kissing you bruisingly, biting your lips. He finally pulls out and slams back in, bottoming out again. His hand slides down your waist and slips between your legs. “You gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you the way I want?”
His hand is just above your clit, inches away from where you need him most, waiting for your answer. You nod emphatically. “Yes,” you say with pleading eyes. “Anything. You can do anything just please—oh fuck!” Logan pinches your clit and starts his machinations, swirling around the bud. He pulls out and pumps back in, setting a ruthless pace.
His hips snap against yours, taking all of you with reckless abandon. His lips swallow your moans, consuming you, drinking you in. Of all the times he’s fucked you, it’s never been quite like this. There’s a hunger in Logan’s eyes that you’ve never seen before, an undying need you’re not sure can be satisfied. Something feels different about this time—more intense, fervent, and feverish.
Logan thrusts in and out of you, bottoming out with every pump, still stretching you out. His fingertips stroke your clit roughly, your walls already fluttering around him. He curses under his breath, his chest heaving against yours.
“Look at you,” he groans, fucking into you. “So beautiful like this. Always so beautiful.” You can feel his cock twitching inside you. “Wanna make you mine, sweetheart.”
“I-I already am,” you stammer, his fingers drawing tight, rapid circles into your clit, pushing you closer to the edge. “Always gonna be yours.”
“Want more than that,” Logan grunts, his hips rocking, his pace quickening. He’s so deep inside you—hitting exactly where you need him most with every thrust.
“Whatever you want,” you pant, your chest pressing flush to his. “It’s yours. I’m yours.”
“Yeah?” He growls at the shell of your ear. “You gonna let me fill you up? Gonna let me stuff you full of me?”
“Yes, please,” you cry out as he pumps in and out, shoving himself as deep inside as he can possibly fit. You feel so full, so complete. Nothing compares to having Logan this close, to having him be so connected to you. You’re already coming undone underneath him, falling apart. “Want you to stay inside.” And then the words fall from your lips without a second thought. But you mean it, and you want it more than anything…
“Wanna have your baby, Lo.”
Logan groans at your words, his cock throbbing with need. “Fuck, don’t tease me like that, sweetheart.”
“N-not teasing,” you stammer. “I mean it.”
“Shit,” Logan growls, his skin slapping against yours, your words spurring him on. He’s letting himself go, letting himself plunge deep inside you, fast and hard. “Such a good girl,” he praises, his length dragging against your walls, pushing deeper still. “You gonna let me fuck a baby into you?”
“Yes!” You cry out, the fire burning in your belly spreading up to your spine, coursing through your veins. Your walls flutter around his length, squeezing him tightly.
“That’s it, pretty girl,” Logan coos, rutting into you, his hips stuttering. “Want you forever.”
You throw your head back as his fingers swirl around your clit. “You have me Lo, always gonna have me.” Your walls clench down around him, and the tension snaps. Electricity shoots up your spine as your orgasm crashes into you. It’s intense—more intense than anything you’ve ever felt. Pleasure washes over you in waves, heat blooming across your chest and up your neck.
Logan is right behind you, whispering a string of praises as he finishes inside you. “Did so fucking good for me. Always so perfect, beautiful.” His thrusts slow until he’s still inside you, but he doesn’t pull out. “Don’t wanna move, princess,” he husks, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.
“You don’t have to,” you say, your voice hoarse. Logan rolls you onto your side, hoisting your leg up and over his hip, keeping himself deep inside your cunt. You close your eyes, your heartbeat finally steadying, your chest still heaving in time with Logan’s.
The silence is comfortable, calming. You listen to Logan’s breathing as he runs his hands up and down your back. “You okay?” He asks, pressing a chaste kiss to the crown of your head.
You hum. “I’m perfect,” you mumble, burying your face into his chest. “Do you really…” You trail off, suddenly nervous to ask the only question on your mind, despite everything that just happened.
“Yes,” Logan answers immediately. “I meant it. Wanna be a family. Wanna be with you forever.”
You melt into him, wrapping your arms around his back. You can feel his cock growing hard inside you as you move to get more comfortable. “I want that too, Lo,” you sigh. “More than anything.” You smile against him, thinking about your future, thinking about how all this started because some asshole wouldn’t leave you alone. You can’t help but giggle at the thought.
“What’s so funny?” Logan asks. You can hear the smirk in his voice.
You look up at him. “You’re crazy, you know that?” You joke, your smile widening. “You could’ve hurt that guy.”
Logan’s smile widens too. “Just crazy about you,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. He flips you onto your back and hovers over you, his cock still deep inside you. “Should’ve kicked his ass.” You bite your lip, waiting for his next move. “You’re my girl,” he groans, sliding out of you slightly.
“Yours,” you breathe as he thrusts back in. “All yours.”
tags: @cosmiccandydreamer @alsoprettyinpink @alastorssimp @1800-fight-me @iamburdened @chaoticweirdogeek @loganobsessed @seasonofthenerd @witch-lemon @the-occasional-artist1125 @https-murdock @afw5 @wolviesgirl @the-ruler-of-death @xtwistedchaosx @wittyjasontodd @galacticglitterglue @silversprings-mp3 @zxaera @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @prettyseaveins @ilysmdovie12 @evasmlp @derbygracie @rammakela @honeyfewr @ricefordays-blog1 @manipulatour
#Logan Howlett x reader#Wolverine x reader#James Logan Howlett x reader#Logan Howlett x reader smut#Wolverine x reader smut#James Logan Howlett x reader smut#Logan Howlett smut#Wolverine smut#James Logan Howlett smut#Logan Howlett x you#Wolverine x you#James Logan Howlett x you#Logan Howlett breeding kink#Logan Howlett x you smut#Wolverine x you smut#James Logan Howlett x you smut#Logan Howlett x reader breeding kink#Logan Howlett imagine#Wolverine imagine#James Logan Howlett imagine#X Men Imagine#X-Men imagine#Hugh Jackman#Deadpool and Wolverine#Logan Howlett fluff#Logan Howlett x reader fluff#Logan Howlett x you fluff
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DPXDC PROMPT : ALFRED IS IMMORTAL
Alright. Don't get me wrong, I love au's where John Constantine is like "soul tax evader supreme", but hear me out.
Alfred.
Alfred, Alfred Pennyworth. Who just doesn't die. The guy's immortal. The reason for this is that Alfred is awesome, so anytime he dies, whether it be from old age or a bullet or a world-wide catastrophe, he looks Death straight in the eyes and tells them that he will die when the day comes that no one needs him anymore, and not a second before, and then he just kinda pops back to life. Because let's face it, the batfam would fall to pieces without him.
So, Alfred Pennyworth has basically just been cheating death for centuries, by this point.
Needless to say, Death is none too pleased. Finally, Death goes to Phantom, the new king, who is much more reasonable than Pariah Dark was and who agrees to actually help.
Clockwork helps Danny set up a portal and he zaps into existence in the middle of a Wayne movie night. The bats are all prepared to fight this mysterious weirdo, but Danny ignores them and turns to Alfred, who he then begins lecturing about ghostly tax evasion and how defying death isn't a good thing, so he needs to file paperwork through the proper channels to stay as an immortal almost-God.
Alfred is chill, he plays cards with Clockwork once when he dies, so he knew this was coming, but the batfamily thinks that this mysterious entity is going to kill Alfred, so they're all panicking, trying to think of ways to avoid this horrible future. Alfred calmly listens to Danny, then he interjects.
"Sir, are you aware of the fact that there is a revenant on earth? One who is most certainly under threat of more paperwork than I, seeing as he has been using the Lazarus Pits to revive himself for millennia. I, however, have only been alive for a few hundred years, so I should think that he is a bigger priority. "
Danny glances over at Jason, doubtful. "He doesn't look several millennia old, Mr. Pennyworth."
"Certainly not, seeing as Master Jason is not. Besides, his Undeath License was filed. I have a copy of it if you need to see it, your Majesty?" Alfred answers, demure as always.
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, sir."
Alfred leaves and returns, moments later with a light green glowing piece of paper. he hands it over to Danny, who examines it.
"Seems legitimate. I assume you filed it during one of your many encounters with Death?"
"Indeed. I have it on good authority, however, that the other revenant, a man by the name of Ra's Al Ghul, has not renewed his License in at least the last half millennia, most likely longer."
Danny sighs. "Where can I find him."
"Nanda Parbat. The signature is impossible to miss."
"Alright, Mr. Pennyworth. I will return once he is dealt with, be it by filing his paperwork or returning him to the Infinite Realms."
"Very well. I will be ready." Alfred answers.
Danny opens a portal to the area around Nanda Parbat and then another, which plops him down right in front of the Demon's Head himself, in a strategy meeting with his daughter and several commanders.
They all raise their weapons, but he just basically grabs Ra's by the ear and tugs him through a Lazarus Green portal, lecturing him about tax evasion and paperwork and bureaucracy the whole time. The League is thrown into uproar, and Ra's is set down in a room with all his overdue paperwork from the past few thousand years. He feels a little bit like crying; if he had known immortality meant this much paperwork, he would've just died, honestly.
Meanwhile, in Wayne Manor, everyone is crying, because they think Alfred is going to die, Jason is confused about the whole revenant Undeath Certificate thing, Bruce is trying to make contingency plans, Tim is contacting the Justice League, and Alfred is planning out his defense and going through every ghostly law loophole he can think of because if he leaves these emotionally constipated crime-fighting vigilantes, he knows that the house that Martha so loved will go up in flames within a month.
Eventually, Danny comes to get Alfred for his ghostly court trial/hearing or whatever, and Alfred says goodbye to Bruce and everyone, goes to the Infinite Realms. Clockwork is on his side, and Alfred ends up winning the court case, on the condition that now that the has an Undeath License, he actually renew it every twenty years, like he's supposed to.
A week later, Alfred returns, crashes his own funeral, and explains that no, he will not be dying anytime soon.
Two weeks after Alfred's return, Constantine shows up at the manor basically begging to learn how the hell he managed to avoid death, and not only that, win a damn court case against them.
#fanfic#writing#batman#dcu#damian wayne#jason todd#danny fenton#dp clockwork#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#batkids#batfamily#batfam#dick grayson#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#zombie#kinda#ra's al ghul#league of assassins#ra's al ghul didnt know about all the paperwork being immortal would entail and he is not pleased#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny phantom#tax evasion#of the ghostly variety
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Who Said Money Can't Buy Happiness?
"I want that new money. Crisp money, Straight-from-the-mint money. Fresh money. Young money. Push against the tide~" New Money from the Great Gatsby.
Yan?Batfam x Neglected!F!Reader
Pt. 1
Divider Creds: @selysie and @anitalenia
This plot was inspired by @niwaart, @mimiiiiiiiiisstuff, and esp @coldilikeit
You know I've never pegged myself as the type to be too careless and get hit by a truck, because I'm not, that truck rammed into me and I was on the sidewalk, so, if I wake up, I'm suing.
That's what I thought would happen if I woke up in my world. newsflash, and spoilers, I seemed to wake up in this cliche bat family story as the neglected girl. This is actually the story "I Stole the Loving Family of the Villainess."
We follow around a girl named Serena, a cute name, by the way. It fits her as the female lead. She has blond hair and blue eyes, and multiple love interests, from Connor Kent to Wally West, and so on. She is adopted by the royal family, the Waynes.
And do you see this cute portrait with her in the middle brothers to the left, sisters to the right, parents on each side of her, oh and how can I forget even the main bulter, and can you see that small blot of paint, if you squit a little more. Ah- there I am.
That blot of paint- that's me.
While I'm monologing this I'm PUSHING SERENA DOWN THE STAIRS.
You know you can't help but feel bad for me like I'm the legitimate daughter and I get nothing.
Yes, you hear this my bitches, bros, and non-binary hoes. I'm the Villainess. If you guys spent less time fondling over the basic y/n of a female lead you realize how miserable [name] is as a character.
Her mom is too busy caring for her other siblings that she finds it too bothersome to deal with the least talented or least intelligent that goes for Alfred too because, in this story, we're royalty meaning more than one maid and butler, so why waste your time when you can have someone else do it.
Doesn't help that [name] has ears so she hears every mocking word that is uttered by her servants.
And of course, the main family does not give a pinky toe if she dies so that's so cool.
So [name] being a cliche Villainess is exactly stupid and untalented but all she wanted was her family's love and affection which is why she kept sabotaging Serena, which led her to her death.
Getting her memories suck, I mean my ego that was skyrocketing got hit with a pebble which is not a lot but that's because my ego is huge, this girl put herself down so much that I swear if her self-esteem was a rock she'd be crushed by now.
I mean the size of her self-esteem was so low it would be the opposite of my ego.
I mean how can it not be high? I'm rich, pretty, intelligent, and I've had diplomas in more than one field, Mary Sue? More like Barbie. I'm perfect, in more ways than one, except for relationships I've lacked in that department but I've never had one before so does that count? No.
Did I mention I was rich?
So anyway got her memories, it's so... tragic, but don't worry snookums because even in this life there's one defining trait that I still have, I'm rich. Okay, so not rich out of my pocket, I am a princess umkay, but I wasn't a woman in multiple men's fields for nothing.
Anyway back to the case in point, before I "woke" up [name] was having an impulse, her hands were itching to shove this one good orphaned girl that stole her place in the family, what timing do I have to come back right when [name] decided to take action on the impulse.
Hey, at least a perk of being the main character is that you don't take any damage whether that be physically inside or out. But I don't think the family will let it slide they are yanderes.
Yandere is a term for a character who is initially normal but soon develops an obsessive-compulsive grip on the person they like.
"I-I don't know one second I was walking down the stairs and the next I f-fell... but the only person behind me was [n-name]" Serena whimpered, ah- yes the struggles of a female lead the stuttering.
"[name] I can't believe you shoved Serena! This is-" Meet Palmola, my mother.
"So what?"
"Huh?" Palmola's eyes widened.
No in fact the whole family's eyes were in shock.
Since [name] would always make some batshit crazy excuse like the ghost of Grandpa pushed her or something. But why lie, I did shove her, for a good reason too.
"She walks so slow and sloppy, does she have any etiquette? I hope she would, with the amount of time she likes to spend with you Palmola. Fast, efficient, but proper. You did drill that into my head since I was young, didn't you? You even got mad when I did it wrong, is it so wrong I treat her like how I was treated?"
"Young lady-!"
"We'll discipline her later, Serena are you alright? Here take my arm sweetheart." Bruce let Serena wrap her arm around his.
The siblings paired up with each other, and Palmola took one of her son's arms. Leaving me with no one. A normal occurrence, at first it did numbers in the social circles, and still does, so each time I was left embarrassed. How annoying.
"Announcing the Imperial Family, the Gotham Empire, The Waynes."
Everyone flocked to each of the family but mainly focused their attention on Serena, whether it be her face, jewelry, dress, or how sweet she was compared to me.
"Announcing the Imperial Family, the Metro Empire, The Kents." Meet two of the love interests that right she goes for the big brother and the little brother, originally I'm engaged to Connor, but tonight that would change, the engagement is getting annulled, and his reason to the court is "I have set my eyes on someone new, and with many competitors, I can't lose."
It wasn't hard for anyone to know who it was, I think the only one that didn't notice was Serena herself.
Actually, this was a huge arc in the story when all the love interests fight for her love, there was no victor as she did the poly relationship, which really confuses me doesn't she need to make many offspring for each of the families respectable titles, you can't just combine into one entire thing, can you? That be very messy, I guess you could just give away titles but then who gets-
Anyway, that had a lot of readers mad, usually the whychoose situation would be okay, but she mainly focused on Conner so there was actually no reason to choose this route.
Never mind, that's a conversation for another day that I'll just forget.
Connor approaches me grabbing both my hands, attracting attention.
"[name] there's something I have to confess..."
"You're breaking off the engagement"
"I'm breaking- wait what?"
"You've found someone new, that has many competitors and you can't lose a battle you haven't even tried winning, I get it. But I'd like a downpayment of 10,000 gold and you can give the 490,000 gold later to my personal account and we call it even. Deal?" Hustling, though it's a 50/50 shot with many deals with enough eyes on us I'm sure he'll give in.
"S-sure, right. Right- I'll get that to you immediately-" I gave his hand a firm shake before heading off to the...
If you guessed balcony you're wrong, I'm heading over to the food table.
"Did just see what happened?"
"Is she planning something?"
"500,000 gold?!"
"Sister, what are you planning?" Barbara came over.
Also, who calls their sibling sister, like sure, that works.
"What do you mean?"
"That marriage was meant to connect our kingdoms, you'd let that go so easily, and we both know your gaze on Connor, what are you planning." She spoke through her fan, in a hushed voice.
If I made a scene as to not let him go I'd be embarrassing you guys, but if I show that I'm okay with him leaving me I'm ruining a political standing that wouldn't even work out, I'd still do something wrong.
"Have some decorum sister, we haven't had a proper conversation in years, and this is the first thing you say to me? Typical Barbara you think you know everything since you're older and more "mature""
You could tell Barbara didn't take that lightly as she gripped the fan handle tightly, I literally didn't even do anything.
"I'll spare you from any more veins popping up on that face, don't be an ass, we both knew Connor is in love with Serena and that me begging him not to break the engagement would only bring shame onto our family, so I did us both a favor and ended it." I tossed my hair back before grabbing some croissants that were covered in chocolate, powdered sugar, and some strawberries.
Life really is great.
"What about the scandal that would break out."
"Again, it would break out either way, now do me a favor and go back to your group they're staring at me and it's ruining the snack that I have on my plate."
She let out a deep breath before heading off.
Speaking of which I'd rather have a place to place my food and eat it, pretty sure there's a table in the garden under the gazebo if I remember correctly and I don't but whatever.
Just to find a moping Jon.
"Should you be out here?"
"It's unfair once again he gets to have everything"
Oh? Do tell.
I raised an eyebrow at him cutting my croissant in half before placing a half in front of him.
He finally looks up his face turned shocked like I was a ghost or something.
"[name]?!"
I bit into my croissant, nodding.
"Why'd you have to go and break off the engagement, now I have Connor as competition."
I knew this happened in the novel but I just remembered how young he was he's around Damian's age and I'm about the same age as Serena so this was a cry for help.
"Why do you even like Serena?"
"I don't really, it's just... I wanted something that he couldn't obtain he was going to be the first in line, and he's just better than me in lots of things because he has training so I thought, at least I had Serena."
Sometimes I forget that back then age gaps had no restrictions.
"That just means fewer responsibilities anyway, aren't you a little too young to be worrying about any of that? Now, I brought over this croissant but since I'm nice I gave you half." I ruffled his hair and he tried to swipe it away.
"I guess you're right." He started gobbling the desert down.
Honestly, I don't even know why this was a love interest he's literally a minor, maybe that's why the author got backlash against that and the novel was an overall dumpster fire with a basic self-insert MC.
I don't know what's worse the fact that they kept dragging on the storyline or the fact that I'm now in the storyline.
I mean seriously he only liked her because of the plot, he got over this situation so quickly that you wouldn't even know why he was moping earlier.
-
Now back to the circumstance at hand I was at home and seems the family never forgot about me shoving Serena down the stairs, they almost forgot about me breaking off the engagement.
"... what if she got a scratch on her face? Or if the clothes ripped?! Are you listening to me?!" I zoned out for a good second.
See we had gone back to the castle and they kept rambling on and on about what could've happened to Serena had the fall been more steep or rough, but like does she even have even status to attend these events in the first place?
"Since you seem to not care about this we're cutting you off of money for the next month!" She hollered in my ear once more.
"What were you thinking at the ball?" Tim cut into Palmola's ramblings.
"Normalize giving contexts, Tim." He scoffed.
"I was sparring with Kon the other day and he made some bogus statement saying he was breaking off the engagement, I didn't think he would do it, but allowing him to? Have you any idea what this caused?"
"Who am I to stop Crown Prince Connor, Tim? He has a woman to chase, and wasn't going to give it up for this contracted engagement." I glanced at Serena who flinched and hid behind Jason.
"I still doubt that you'd let him go that easily, you've been obsessed with him since you laid eyes on him."
"And you know that because you're my caring younger brother or because you like to throw it in my face on the downfalls of my life?"
"[name]!" Palmola scolded me.
Bruce could only sigh at the scene.
"Palmola!" I retorted, bringing a tense atmosphere to occur.
Alfred arrived at the scene handing me a letter.
"To you, Princess [name]." I opened it to see the rest of the money that Connor promised me had been added to my account even with the 10,000.
I'm rich, but this is just the start.
"If that's all I'll be heading back to my room." I tossed my hair back before ordering the maids to prepare my bath.
"You're taking too long," I told the maids who were congregating among themselves instead of doing their jobs.
"Well, usually, Princ- I mean Lady Serena wouldn't mind-"
"Do I look like her?" I gripped the maid's chin.
"Don't worry, since it bothers you so much to draw me a bath you can pack your things up and leave tomorrow, you're fired." I pushed back my hair in agitation.
"What-"
"Did you not hear me, you're fired, don't make too much noise, go on." I shooed her away.
She just dropped to her knees and started begging me, but I made the other maids drag her out now all of a sudden they wanted to switch up and act proper.
"Now, with that out of the way, someone draw my bath." I rolled my eyes.
I do not condone maid abuse, but what's the point of working here if you don't do your job? So firing is the only option.
3RD POV
"That girl- I swear I don't know where she got that attitude from, did you see the way she talked to me?!" Palmola scoffed.
Duke could only think about how [name] seemed different actually the whole family could be thinking about that.
Damian kept stroking Titus' fur while thinking about how [name] didn't just keep her head down and take his insults. Wait- now that he phrases it like that, it sounds really bad.
Tim just thought about his friend Connor, he had been the one that Connor ranted to about how annoying his sister was but he didn't think [name] would take the cancelation of the engagement that easily, he thought [name] would least throw a tantrum at best. And since earlier he noticed how [name] looked at them at the stairway after. [name] looked at them like they were lower than her.
Dick was processing the whole thing, did [name] always talk like she didn't care for their approval? I mean [name] spoke like this could've been a letter delivered to her door instead of an important conversation. This conversation was important, [name] hurt Serena and canceled a political connection of a lifetime, he could feel a headache approaching.
Jason could only blink at the audacity, sometimes when this happened [name] at least looked like she gave a darn but not only was she okay with that Connor boy leaving her, but also being cut off [name] would at least beg for some forgiveness. But nothing...?
Stephanie would've had a jaw-dropping expression right now, but had her fan covering her mouth, holy lord did that really just happen? I mean [name] did not even try to bother her at the ball but she also gave up the man she bothered until her final breath and 500,000 gold?! That's an insane amount one and two when did [name] learn to negotiate?
Cassandra felt confused about what had just gone down, did she hear that right? That whole thing, just what occurred? [name] changed in two seconds, like she blinked, Serena tumbled down the stairs and then she just acted strange.
(What you're sticking up for yourself? That's criminally insane right there.)
Barbara had already dealt with how [name] did a 180 at the ball but she just thought that was because she thought she had a wedgy at the moment, though in general [name] had never done this so what happened this time?
Bruce well who knows what he's thinking he just looks constipated like isn't supposed to be saving Gotham in another life?/j
Bruce sat there, he didn't raise [name] like that, wait-. He didn't raise [name] at all... Is this his fault that [name] was acting out right now? No, he's been busy and with all the duty of the empire on his hands he couldn't pause it for [name], like yes, he does that for Serena sometimes- all the time but that's different she had a hard childhood growing up.
Serena, well, she gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. For the first time, something didn't go her way. And what was that attitude, who did [name] think she was? She shouldn't even act like that, at this point, everyone knows she's supposed to be in her position. I mean look at her.
So it's time to be the center of attention. Wouldn't you think?
Serena let out a few sniffles catching the attention.
"It's all my fault that she's in a bad mood, I'm sorry."
The family quickly came to comfort her. Never mind what they were thinking before, how could [name] be such a child in this situation?
After taking a nice bath and sneezing I was now changed into my nightgown. These things are nice.
I took [name]'s diary, so was not thinking, writing down her devious plans here, one of the reasons she was caught and executed, and she couldn't rebut it as they had proof.
So I'll do us both a favor and burn it.
Tossed into the flame I could only stare at the burning journal.
Another burning pile.
I should sleep I have a lot of plans tomorrow, and only a few months till school starts.
With a flick of my wrist, the candles blew out and the doors shut.
One perk about this world is the powers.
(H2O just add water)
So instead of actually writing the next part for any other series of mine I decided to make a new writing idea 🌝, I'm also making others in my brain as we speak but we're going to keep them there until I finish at least one of my series.
Anyway did you like it?

I'm going back to work now (writing), *le sigh*.
Happy early Lunar New Year though, I'm manifesting a lot of red envelopes to myself and many others!
If there's anything too cringy, plot holey, or grammatically wrong, do inform me!
#platonic batfam#platonic yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#batfam x neglected reader#batfam
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I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.
Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."
Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.
Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.
Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--
--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.
But it turns out he was this:
!!!
With his curly little--!!
And his neat white--!!
IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:
"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."
(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)
In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.
In sum...an innocent.
(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.
We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.
Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)
So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--
*checks notes*
--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.
...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.
All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?
He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.
That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...
...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.
Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."
And what reason does he give?
("I know you."
"You do not know me."
"I know the angel you were.")
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
("The angel you knew is not me."
But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)
tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.
'Innocence died screaming' and all that.
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the other thing I find very funny about trying to write a canon compliant wol is taking all the wolship hints extremely seriously.
I don't really wolship because I'm just fundamentally not that kind of fan. But I know for those who are, the sheer number of romance hints FFXIV throws at you can be overwhelming to parse in a context where you have a preferred/intended wolship, particularly if you're not attracted to the gender the hints are coming from in the first place (a particular tip of the hat to wlw fans navigating the g'raha of it all). I've seen plenty of people write around them or write them out or be like "no aymeric was for real inviting my wol to a nice platonic zero-subtext dinner," and God bless all of you.
But it's really funny to imagine them all as all-too-real but unreciprocated or perhaps unreciprocatable. The sheer scale of it is comedy. Spoilers for all of FFXIV follow.
Oh God, the Lord Speaker wants to have dinner, just the two of us, at his family estate and not a government building. I hope he doesn't bring up his crush on me. Thal's balls he's about to bring it up—oh thank God there's an emergency. Oh no someone got hurt! Oh no it's the teenage girl with a crush on me.
Your life is a cosmic joke. You watch the Sultana get poisoned and all your friends probably die to save your life and it's kind of all your fault in some ways, I mean at the very least you should've spoken up when they gave the teenager a private army, and then the teenage boy speaks up and is like, "hey, I guess we have at least one ally. What about if we go visit that guy who is really obviously down unbelievably bad for you and wants to lick the sweat off of you." and you have to be like, yeah, Alphinaud. Great idea. Let's do it. I'll call him.
(brief interlude: also haurchefant's DEATH hits so good if you don't reciprocate. It's okay. He gets it. You're going through a lot and even if you had time to sort through your feelings maybe you're just not into him. That would be okay! You can love someone, or the idea of someone, without needing it to be romantically reciprocated. That's chivalric, even. Knightly. So he won't ask you to lie to him and say you love him as he lies dying in your arms. He's not so low as all that. But could you smile for him as you used to? That true hero's smile of yours. And you do, and he dies. And you both know he died for a lie, in a way, or a flight of fancy. And he's okay with that. Are you? Should you be? Should he?)
Then you're into Stormblood and it's like wow, okay. That last part was all high fantasy, of course there were loyal knights and elegant princes. But this is war. Imperialism. Grim business, surely there's no way—oh no BOTH handsome young revolutionary leaders seem to have a special interest in you?! And so does the Crown Prince of the Empire? Come on, man. I should get to do the whole horrors of war thing without having to also deal with this. Gaius sucked and it was weird that he let his foster daughter run around being openly obsessed with him but at least he never made it my problem.
You can't even get away from it across dimensions. Shadowbringers is a horror story about going on a teambuilding camping trip with your work colleagues for some reason except they all suddenly got really hot and they keep touching you affectionately on the shoulder and being like "I care for you and your happiness. Truly." And also you're being stalked for the whole camping trip by two old men who are obsessed with you. The false climax of the story is that the one old man tries to betray you and give a dramatic monologue about how he loves you but the two of you are doomed by the narrative and then the other old man shoots him in the back like "no actually its MY turn to betray them and give a dramatic monologue about how our love is doomed by the narrative." Then the real climax is old man #1 backstabbing old man #2 in the middle of said monologue before old man #2 dies and gives ANOTHER wistful monologue about his doomed love. Then for the patches they're like okay so we have this even CRAZIER old man who's gonna strike when you're weak and give a dramatic monolo—
and that's without even getting into the literal soulmate ghost only you can see
my warrior of light never felt more betrayed than in that scene where Y'shtola is like "haha Alisaie and G'raha have crushes on the warrior of light." Like I thought we were COOL, Y'shtola! I work here! This situation is already in such a delicate balance! Right when I got here I met Alisaie's "friend from work" who was like oh haha so YOU'RE the one she can't stop talking about and we never followed up on that because the woman died horrifically like five minutes later right in front of us! Then when Vauthry got away and we had to do all that shit with the dwarves, G'raha kept pausing every ten minutes to be like oooooh I'm so old I'm gonna die soon...at least I got to spend some time with some people who are really important to me...in fact here's what I'd tell the person who's most important to me...actually u know them really well haha. And I just had to sit there and be like wow, dude, crazy.
even in the face of apocalypse you still gotta go back in time like 12,000 years and there's somewhere there who makes you sit and listen to his story which is that the purpose of his whole godlike immortal life was to be in a throuple with you and old man #2 from the camping trip. and you just gotta sit there the whole time knowing you/your past life is the one who broke up the throuple over politics. He's like come help me harangue the old man into streaking in public, he'll do it if you ask.
then you meet and fight and kill God and you gotta turn to the team and be like hey sorry guys can you give me a sec. I'm gonna call God by her real name because we met one time for like four days and after that the promise of meeting me again was one of the things that sustained her through her millennia of suffering. Not like that but like. Idk. Just gimme a sec!
It's a relief when you finally get to Lahabrea and he's like actually I still don't fuck with your vibe. Like thank GOD.
And my WoL is very obviously dad-shaped so Dawntrail had a very specific energy for me but I understand that for plenty of people your deepening rapport with Wuk Lamat had a romantic subtext (same for Koana depending on how you read a few of his lines). And personally I think it's the height of comedy to be like, noooo, babe, your highness, I know you and your brother the king are in love with me and want me to stick around and support you emotionally through this governmental transition haha. But it's just...the cursed wineglass, babe. I GOTTA go figure out what's up with this cursed wineglass.
It's a running gag in some of the more optional content that people are like "you have an unreasonable number of hobbies and side gigs" to the WoL from time to time. But if every time you tried picking up a new hobby some new elf started baring their soul to you, you too would be like Hey Jessie (or sometimes Krile or Tataru), my good friend who is one of the only people in my life who knows what professional ethics and work-life boundaries are, any chance you need muscle on a gig on the other side of the world? Ideally with only Cid and his ex so all libidinal energy in the room is directed towards machinery or someone who isn't me?
ironically one of the only places you get a break from psychosexual obsession is the nier content
#ffxiv#endwalker spoilers#dawntrail spoilers#shadowbringers spoilers#heavensward spoilers#stormblood spoilers#meta: durai report#warrior of light ffxiv
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୨ৎ. INVISIBLE STRING p.sh



ᨳ ׄ ׅ ꒰ 45k ꒱⠀ ູㅤ ིྀ ⸺ word count.
𝓹airings 𝜗𝜚 soulmate ! sunghoon ៹ fem ! reader ᧁ ; smut ˒ supernatural? ˒ red string theory ˒ office romance
𝔀arnings ꒱ . smut angst graphic depictions of injuries grandparent/parental death death in general
𝓲n which ⑅ ㅤׄ ⠀ 𓈒 alexa play ❝ invisible string ❞ by taylor swift ིྀ ⸺ They say when someone you love dies it takes a piece of who you were and a piece of who you were going to be. You met the love of your life the day you died; and it took something from you. It changed who you were and you don’t know if you’d ever want it back. Sunghoon was tied to you, two tangled souls connected by one invisible red string but you didn’t know it, until it was too late.
★ ! 𝓻ain's mic is on ── iykyk about this fic fr...I've been working on this bad boy since like the beginning of December...which If you know me is a while. I've stopped writing it for a while but randomly I just knew I needed too pick it back up and finish it. I'm sorry in advance for the use of y/n (i started this before i stopped using it, sorry guys). I love this story line so much and the amount of pure thought I put into is...it's a lot. I hope you all enjoy it and love it just as much as I do. thank you.

They say when someone you love dies it takes a piece of who you were and a piece of who you were going to be. Lying on her deathbed your grandmother hands you a small red bracelet, one so flimsy you felt as if it could snap between your fingertips. Dainty like a small red string. And with the last few breaths that she had left in her she told you something you would never forget. “This bracelet is a representation of what I'm about to take from you.” She took a deep agonizing breath before continuing. “When I die, I will take some of your joy, some of your light. I Don't want to but I will. This red string here represents what is to come, who is to come and when it becomes important to you, because it will. Think of me and what I've always told you about your very own red string of fate.”
The words left her mouth in a sigh. Her eyes closed peacefully as your heart shattered. Taking the string you wrapped it around your wrist vowing to never let it go.
5 years later.
You were going to be late.The rain served as a catalyst to your anger and resentment of this day. Looking outside of your cramped apartment window to see it pouring rain when you have to walk to work has put a severe damper on your already more than pissy mood. Not including the fact that you were up at all hours of the night because the thin material of your walls in this run down apartment building left very little to be desired, especially when it came to your neighbors very active love life.
Pounding on the wall had been no help as the screams of their pleasure just grew, almost as if they were trying to spite you. Spite you because it was four in the morning and you had to be up in three hours and spite you because a very small part of you was jealous that your neighbor was getting laid and you weren’t and hadn’t for well over a year now. So, in turn, waking up when the sun was only beginning to rise was a very new form of hell you hadn’t yet experienced.
Rolling yourself out of bed, brushing your teeth and making yourself look somewhat presentable was the equivalent of hauling a two ton car up a flight of stairs but you did it. You walked down the sidewalk raincoat over your head as you tried your best at keeping the rain from soaking your straightened hair. Finally approaching the crosswalk you were relieved to see it had not been crowded this morning. Which was rather unusual for a monday morning in seoul but you would take your wins as they came.
A man stood at the crosswalk, phone in hand not paying you even a single glance. He was beautiful. You could definitely admit that and his attire for the day had told you that he was dressed for a day at the office. His dark hair was a stark contrast to his very light skin. His face dotted with the cutest little moles you had ever seen. He was a sight to behold, captivatingly beautiful.
Not wanting to seem like a creep for staring, you turned your head downwards, fiddling with the red string bracelet you had worn every second of everyday for the last five years since your grandmother died. The light had turned green finally signaling for you to walk after what seemed like forever of waiting in awkward silence next to what might be the most beautiful man you would ever live to see. The rain continued its assault on you, pelting down hard and fast.
Your rain boots sloshed as you walked.
But suddenly you felt the snap, very lightly you felt the singular snap of the red string on your wrist. It had come undone and like a scene in a movie it had fallen before your eyes in slow motion. Falling to the rain soaked pavement of the very busy street you were crossing. You knew it was dumb, stupid even but still you bent down reaching for the string and again, like a scene in a movie hearing the voice of the beautiful man calling out for you to watch out and the screech of the van tires hurtling towards you were heard just a second too late, it was dark.
You were scared of death as much as the next person. More afraid of not knowing what happens after you die. If you say that death doesn’t scare you, you're lying. How can you not be afraid of what you don’t know? It was a thought you truly couldn't fathom.
With a gasp of breath and a pound in your head you had escaped death. Opening your eyes to the sun glaring in them penetrating your closed eyelids. “Woah! Are you ok?” A voice asked you. You had finally noticed a hand tightly gripping your wrist. Opening your eyes you're met with the most beautiful man you had ever seen…again? Groggily you looked around noticing you were no longer on the street but on the sidewalk. “What happened?” You groaned holding your head. “It feels like I've been hit by a truck.”
With his hand still on your wrist the man helped you up “You just fell over” He murmured. The tiny red string on his wrist caught you off guard. You could think of nothing else as you stared down at it. You glanced down at your own wrist only to notice that it was bare, you weren’t wearing the red bracelet your grandmother had given you. “Where did you get that?” You asked, yanking your hand from his hold. “Why do you have my bracelet?”
“What?” He questioned with shock. “This is mine.”
“But..” You stammered out “I had one just like it and it's missing.” Your head was pounding so hard you had begun to feel it behind your eyelids.
“I’m sorry yours is missing but this is from my grandfather.” with your head still aching you decided to let it go. He seemed genuine and you didn’t have the vitality to argue with him any further.
“Are you alright?” The man said once again. Nodding you dusted your clothing off noticing the now beautiful clear sky.
“Where did the rain go?” You asked. He looked confused again, an expression you were now deeming adorable on him. You may be a little woozy but a girl would always recognize an attractive man when presented to her.
“It hasn’t rained today” He said, you really wish you could know his name. “Are you sure you're alright?” He cautiously inquired. Nodding once again you had half a mind to look down at your watch, your mind fleeting again to the fact that your wrist was now bare. Your red missing bracelet was something you were definitely going to agonize over later but for now, you were most certainly going to be late. On your very first day of the job.
“I’m alright!” You squeaked out. “I’ve got to go” You made your way safely across the street before deciding to make a dash for it. You had exactly four minutes to make it there in time and it was a little over six minute walk. Speeding down the sidewalk you had no time to mull over what the hell just happened.
You could have sworn to the high heavens that it was raining and that you most definitely had your bracelet on when you left your apartment this morning and you vaguely remembered walking across the street and your bracelet breaking. Shaking the thought off you finally arrived. Only looking up at the building for a split second before rushing inside.
“Hi” You breathed heavily to the receptionist. “I’m here for my first day in-”
“Are you Y/n L/n” She cut you off, her voice laced with disinterest for anything you would have to say beside yes or no.
“Yes” Deciding to be curt as to not upset her more.
“Floor nine. Minji will see you through.” She slapped a white badge onto the countertop in front of you. “Here’s your badge, have a wonderful career at seoul inc.” Contrary to her cheery words her voice was monotonous, lacking any depth or feeling. Dumbly nodding your head you took the white badge in your hands and made your way to the elevator.
“Floor nine, floor nine” You whispered to yourself over and over again.
The elevator ride was short and sweet, just how you liked it. You hated when elevators took forever it gave you time to become anxious and becoming anxious was the last thing you wanted to do today. Your head still reeled for the events that took place not even twenty whole minutes ago and adding on a bout of anxiety really would do you no justice.
In true cliche fashion you allowed yourself a small pep talk. Reassuring yourself that everything would be ok, that you had landed the job so at least someone here liked you enough to hire you. Everything would be A OK, as your grandmother always said.
Arriving at the front desk you’re met with a lot more peppy woman. Short probably in her mid to late fifties this woman looked to have lived and loved ten times over. A small pang rang through your chest as the warmth radiating from this woman had reminded you of your grandmother. The small desk plate in front of her read ‘minji’ and right then and there you knew you were in the right place.
“Hello” You spoke as professionally as you could. “I’m Y/n L/n and I'm here for my first day.” MInji smiled at you, the warmth once again seeping into your bones. Instantaneously your anxiety and worries almost completely dissipated.
“Hello dear, you're just in time!” She grabbed a few papers from her pile on her desk in front of her then swung out of her chair. “Mr. Park seems to be a few minutes late so i’ll quickly introduce you to a few of your colleagues that are a part of your team.” Following closely behind her you felt a wave of giddiness overcome you. Starting anew to you, had felt like starting a new life. You were so excited to kick it into full gear. Especially with the little to no support from your family back at home.
Knowing that you would not be coming home to help run their shop had made them make the ultimate decision of disowning you. Not that they had ever truly been proud of who you were to begin with. Being an only child of two adults that never wanted children in the first place had always left you feeling a hole in your heart with a parent's love should fill. Luckily for you, you had your grandmother who had acted as your mother and father figure all rolled into one. Your grandfather having passed away only a year after your birth and your grandmother never remarrying had made the two of you's relationship that much stronger. It had only really been the two of you together all the time.
Especially because your parents were always away at the shop. Tending to and looking after the only thing they truly loved. Having a child was never in their plans and boy did they make that obvious. They looked at you as a legacy for their business and when you had broken the news to tell them it wouldn't happen, well they just had no use for you then. They discarded you like a broken toy in their very coveted and well respected toy shop. Ironic isn't it?
Running a toy shop but never wanting children, neglecting your own. The irony had always been daunting. Most people around you had assumed you had the best childhood. They assumed you had a childhood full of wonderful toys and parents who cherished you and showered you with the marvelous gifts that they sold but they were wrong. Very wrong. It had made you a person who no longer judged books by their covers because after all looks can be deceiving.
Your father had grown up with a fascination for toys and collectables and he never truly outgrew that as an adult. Instead he turned it into a hobby and then into a career dragging your mother along until she learned to love it just as much as he did.
“Alrighty” Minji said with exhilaration. “This right here will be your cubicle.” She pointed to a reasonably sized cubicle, its contents almost completely empty save for your basic office supplies like a computer, chair and pencil holder full of pens and pencils. “Decorate it however you would like. Being the visual department we always expect you guys to have the most put together cubicles.” She smiled at you warmly. Gesturing you to follow her only a few steps further she pointed to another cubicle, this one now occupied. “This is Wonyoung, she's one of your partners.”
“Busy.” Wonyoung said pointedly typing away at her computer.
“She’s a sweet girl when she's caffeinated.” Minji laughed, “Hun, I have some fresh coffee brewing for you in the lounge, go grab a cup.”
“Minji, I could kiss you, I'm exhausted.” Wonyoung rose from her seat. For a moment you were stunned by her pure beauty. She wore a knitted dress that fell to the middle of her thighs, and a long sleeve turtleneck underneath it. Her hair in two braids on either side of her head.
“Nice to meet you by the way” a radiant smile graced her features. “Jay is that way. I’m excited to be working with another girl. I’m soooo tired of being surrounded by men, yuck.” She stuck her tongue out mockingly before be-lining for what you could only assume was the lounge.
“Let me take you to jay.” Minji made her way down only two more cubicles before stopping in front of another one. This time occupied by a man, who you assumed was Jay.
“Good morning Mrs. Lee” Jay chirped, his expression was radiating all things positive. You had already felt safe around him.
“Good morning sweetheart this is Y/n the new cover designer and a part of your team. I wanted to introduce you guys before Sunghoon arrived.”
“Hi Y/n” Jay waved “Nice to meet you.”
You nodded at him, taking a slight bow. “Nice to meet you too.”
“Sunghoon isnt here yet?” Jay’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion looking around the two of you probably in search of Sunghoon.
“Not yet but I'm sure he’ll be strolling in at any minute. You all have a meeting in” Minji looked down at her watch “Three minutes. He’ll be here if he’s not already in his office getting ready.”
“He hasn’t come down to meet Y/n yet?”
“No, not yet. I’m sure he’s waiting until you guys meet.” Standing there dumbly as you waited for them to finish their conversation a sense of once again, anxiety hit you like a wave. You assumed the Sunghoon they were referring to was your boss but what kind of boss didn’t come down to meet their new employees? One that he would be working with closely might you add. It set a strong precedent to who this man was and truthfully that worried you a bit. You had gotten such good first impressions from Minji, Jay and Wonyoung so much so that you were beginning to become even more excited to work alongside them. But none of that really mattered if your boss was a grade A asshole. Having a shit boss made your life in the workplace hell. Something you were mature enough to admit scared the hell out of you.
You were only hoping and praying that Sunghoon was a super perfectionist and took his time making sure that these meetings ran smoothly rather than a man who, with power, made it extremely difficult to coexist with them.
“It’s about that time anyway” Jay rose from his seat grabbing his coffee cup in his hand. “I’ll take Y/n with me to the meeting room Minji, go sit back down and relax.” Minji smiled at Jay reaching her hand to lightly pat his cheek affectionately.
“Thank you sweetheart.” Turning to you she handed you the papers she had brought with her. “Good luck Y/n, you let me know if you need anything ok?” tilting your head in agreement you took the papers from her outstretched hands. Thanking her quietly as she walked back down the room of cubicles.
“Sweetest woman you'll ever meet, I swear.” Jay said. “Come on. Wonyoung is most likely already there we can mee-”
Not being able to control your motor-like mouth you blurt out the one thing on your mind since discussing your boss, completely cutting Jay off in the process.
“Is he mean?” You knew how childish it sounded. It was like setting up a playdate with your friends at five years old. Quizzing them to find out if their parents were ‘meanies” like yours. But honestly, you didn't care. You needed to know even if that made you sound like a kid in the process.
“Sunghoon?” Jay’s surprise at your question did not go unnoticed but once again you couldn't find it in yourself to care. The question was a pressing matter you would argue.
“He’s …” He took his time to find his words “He’s a bit standoffish but once you get to know him he's a really nice guy.”
His words had not soothed your worries at all. In total honesty they had only worsened the pit of perturbation brewing in your belly. You would try everything you could at ensuring that Sunghoon liked you, or at least tolerated you enough to show you respect. It might be dumb to make all of these bold assumptions before knowing the man but you couldn't help your wondering and worrying mind.
It was how you operated, how you got by in life. You had always been that way and you didn't see not for a second you not being that way.
“Really” Jay assured you as the two of you began your descent towards what you were hoping was not your demise “He’s harmless. He acts more like an asshole than he is.”
“You'd call your boss an asshole out loud?” You asked in astonishment.
“Me and Sunghoon have been friends for as long as I can remember. There is not even an ounce of me that is intimidated by him.” Jay's ability to be calm and collected had left you a bit envious. This was the worst part about starting a new job. Adjusting.
Getting adjusted to new people, new surroundings and new procedures was taxing, it was something you dreaded when starting a new job.
“And you shouldn't be either.” Jay continued, but before you could respond you had arrived at the meeting room. The clear windows had allowed you to see inside. Stopping in your tracks you were sure you looked like a deer in headlights.
“Who is that?” You asked Jay pointing to the man that stood at the head of the table sifting through papers in front of him.
“That’s Sunghoon.”
The words had made your heart drop to your stomach. That was the beautiful man from this morning. The one who had picked you up off the ground. The one wearing your red bracelet. Well, according to him it wasn't yours but that was still to be determined. Here he was standing just inside this room, as your new boss.
A part of you had felt slightly relieved. The sunghoon you had met this morning wasn't at all Standoffish or rude. He was kind and although being confused and then accused of taking your bracelet he still had not shown any disdain or attitude towards you.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad afterall and Jay was just exaggerating about him because they were friends. You had hope.
Feeling a bit of whiplash from all the events that had led up to this moment. You were certain that you had woken up to the rain pelting your windows and roof but instead the air was clear and sunny. You walking out of your apartment with the red bracelet on your wrist was almost irrefutable but still your wrist is left bare. You had imagined your bracelet falling onto the floor but you hadn't even reached the street yet when you woke up on the ground, Sunghoon hovering over you.
Opening the door to the room you stepped inside. Wonyoung sat on a chair to the right and Jay circled around sitting directly across from her, sending a shy smile her way.
“Dude, where have you been?” Jay asked. Sunghoon hadn't looked up from his papers just yet. He blew a gush of air from his lips shaking his head almost bitterly. “I had the weirdest dream last night then this morning a woman fell-” The words died in his throat as his head rose, his eyes meeting yours. An expression similar to the one you had outside the doors of the meeting room. Like a deer in freaking headlights. The expression had only lasted a short second before he dropped it, a now stoic one taking its place.
“Goodmorning.” You said shyly. “I’m doing fine by th-” cutting you off Sunghoon sat down in his chair, clearing his throat loudly.
“Good Morning Ms. L/n find yourself a seat so we can get started.”
You didn’t miss the axiomatic expressions of confusion written all over Jay’s and Wonyoung’s face. They weren't stupid. They knew without a doubt how strange this interaction was. They did the smart thing and ignored it. For now.
A squeak of surprise left your lips, the confusion written all over your face probably very evident.
Sitting in the nearest chair the overarching feeling of dread seeped back in. Clouding your mind. You reached down out of habit to grab your bracelet but you were met with the coldness of your bare skin. Bile rose in your throat but you did your best to suppress it. Choking it down like acid.
Jay and Wonyoung looked uneasy in their seats but still, they decided to say nothing. For that, you were grateful. Trying to explain what had just transpired would be a dumpster fire situation that you had no knack for at the moment.
“I’m Park Sunghoon. You can call me Sunghoon, I'm the director of the seoul magazine visual team and Jay, wonyong and yourself work directly under me. We are considered a team, so we must work as such. I expect that from you, have I been heard?” You nodded, not daring to utter a single word.
“I understand you were hired for cover design, correct?” Sunghoon opened a manilla folder in front of him which contained only what you could assume was your previous works. He began sifting through the pages analyzing every single one with potent accuracy.
“Y-yes” You cursed yourself for stuttering, for allowing this man to take your wits from you. He had shaken you to your core at his contrast of personality. Although you had only met Sunghoon today and knew very little of the man you had a crippling wonder of who Sunghoon really was. Was he the man you had met this morning? The one who had you picked you up when you fell, who had been kind and caring enough to ask if you were ok. Or was he this man, the cold hearted uncaring one who cut people off mid sentence. You truly didn't know, and that thought scared you.
“Down to business” Sunghoon continued. “We have a big project coming up. We have a new girl group debuting that needs front cover coverage. We have to make them look stellar. I’m talking about bold fonts, attention to detail with colors and we have to be very careful with editing. Do you think you can make that happen?”
“Of course” You said more confidently this time. “You can count on me.”
“And if we can't we have a ton of other well equipped applicants chomping at the bit for your position. Do not mess this up.” Sunghoon rose from his seat, gathering all of his papers with him. “Project is due exactly three months from now.” With that Sunghoon was out the door. A silence so heavy had followed. You could hear a pin drop. It was that quiet. Wonyoung and Jay shared a glance that you couldn't quite decipher and in all honestly you weren’t up to even trying.
All hope of Sunghoon liking you had fled, leaving a cold dead feeling in its wake.
“What a jerk,” Wonyoung laughed awkwardly. “He’s not usually like that..”
“Jay said he was standoffish…” You trailed off looking down at the table in front of you. “That was a little more than standoffish.” You tried your best to keep your resolve but at the end of the day you were only human and the weight of the events that took place had started to crash into you. You could feel the tiredness deep in your bones. You still had a full day ahead of you and truthfully you didn't know how it was going to go or how you were going to manage to survive it.
“I’m sorry about him..” Jay had looked more embarrassed than anything and weirdly enough that had given you a bit of comfort, knowing that even his friends and colleagues acknowledge how much of an asshole he just was to you.
“Don’t worry Y/n he’ll warm up to you in no time!” Wonyoung hopped over to you.
“I’m sure he’ll get very toasty.” You cringed at your attempt at a joke but by the way Wonyoung threw her head back in laughter had left you feeling just a little bit better about what had just transpired. If Sunghoon wasn’t the type to be warm and welcoming you were glad that Jay and Wonyoung were.
It was only lunchtime and you were beginning to rethink all of your life choices. Not only did your head still severely ache from your fall this morning, but Sunghoon hasn't even begun to let up on you. Dropping by almost every hour to check on your progress, then nit picking it until you've changed almost every single detail. It had been a day from hell and it still wasn't even over yet.
Gathering yourself you made your way to the lounge, Wonyoung trailing beside you. “I hope Sunghoon isn't discouraging you too much. He’s very passionate about the covers we make, he just likes them to be perfect.” In all honesty her attempt at helping had only made it worse for you. You wouldn't blame her for that though. She was just trying to help you understand the way Sunghoon was.
“He changed basically the entire layout draft.” You deadpanned, your annoyance very pellucid. Wonyoung cringed at your candor.
“If it makes you feel any better, Jay and I think that it was a solid first attempt.”
“That does not make me feel any better but thank you.” A laugh fell from your lips as you said it. You and wonyoung had already started getting comfortable with one another. Your cubicles were fairly close and she was definitely the yappy type, but you didn't mind. It had passed the time by more quickly, having someone to talk to about mindless stuff. “I just don't understand why Sunghoon hates me so much. I don't see what I did wrong.” Opening the door to the lounge you were met with the most delicious smells. Your stomach grumbled and for the first time all day you were realizing just how hungry you were.
“Sunghoon doesn't hate you,” Wonyoung said quietly, presumably to make sure no one around you was listening in on your conversation. The lounge was shared with more than just your department judging by the fact that there were definitely more than twenty plus people in here. “Like I said, he's just very particular about the covers. He takes pride in his work. And him being an asshole to you, well that i don't know. You tell me considering the look you two shared when we walked into the meeting room this morning.” She snickered at you as the two of you approached the table of food. It was a big breakfast bar. Breakfast for lunch, yum.
“Do the two of you know each other?” She asked out right. You shook your head immediately, probably looking a bit suspicious.
“No, not at all.” The look wonyoung gave you made you feel like she didn't believe you. “I met him this morning on the way here. I had fallen and hit my head and he helped me up that's all. I didn't know the beautiful stranger helping me was going to be my boss but I guess that's just my luck.”
“Beautiful huh?” Her lips rising in a teasing smirk. Cursing yourself for your word vomit you felt the apples of your cheeks heating up as embarrassment usurped you.
“Well..i-i mean he- well” You stuttered like an idiot as you tried your best at regaining your pride and collecting your barings.
“It’s ok” Wonyoung giggled, placing her hand on your bare wrist in comfort. “I understand. I’m a woman. I know that Sunghoon is an attractive man, I'm not blind. He's just not my type.”
“What is your type?” You asked her, once again letting your intrusive thoughts win. You really had to stop doing that before you offend someone.
“Jay” Wonyoung stated simply with a small shrug. Mid scooping up scrambled eggs you froze, turning to look at her with the goofiest smile on your face.
“You like Jay?” You whisper shouted at her.
“I don’t just like Jay, I'm in love with Jay.” Her frankness had amazed you. How was it so easy to just admit that she was in love with Jay, you wished that you had half as much courage as she did.
“Why don’t you say anything?” You asked her.
“I will, just when the time is right. We're so busy here all the time. I don't want to over complicate his work even more with having a girl two cubicles down from him fawning over him and he doesn't love her back, do you know how embarrassing that would be?” We had finally gathered all of your food making your way to an empty table.
“I get it.” and you did get it. Although you've never really been in love before you knew how it felt to not want to inconvenience the people you loved. Although it might not be the exact same thing you had felt similar feelings when it came to telling your parents that you wouldn't be pursuing their dreams but instead you'd be pursuing your own.
“Jay is coming.” Wonyoung announced, signaling the end of the conversation as we knew it. The both of you knew it wasn’t the true end. You would definitely be re visiting the topic soon enough.
After a tiringly long day you were more than glad to finally be free to go home. Ssunghoon had only visited you two more times then after that you hadn’t seen him again for the rest of the day. Each conversation had been short, curt and he had never looked you in your eyes. Opting to stare at the keyboard in front of you or at the wall to the side of you. He never looked at you. It had felt degrading and dehumanizing.
Once you arrived home taking the elevator up to your apartment had felt like the longest ride you had ever been on, and once outside of your door you glanced at your neighbors, the sight of a bright yellow slip on it catching your eye.
‘Vacant. For rent, talk to the office for details.’ Confusion took over you for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Vacant? That couldn't be right. Your neighbor had no signs of moving at all. Hell, he had been up all night banging random girls for the past week now. How could it have been vacant so suddenly? Deciding it wasn’t worth mulling over at the moment you entered your apartment readying yourself for bed. At least you won't be bothered with his nightly hookups anymore, that was the bright side of all of this.
The more pressing matter at hand wass finding the bracelet your grandmother gave you. You tried gaslighting yourself into believing you had taken it off sometime this morning, but that was really really not like you at all. You never took that thing off no matter what. Not to shower, not for anything. You've been wearing it for five years so there was no way it could have just slipped off could it? It's never done that before and it wasn't loose. You would have noticed if it was loose.
Looking your apartment over top to bottom has proven no help. The fucking bracelet was nowhere to be found. Your chest started to tighten and suddenly it felt a bit harder to breathe. You knew you were having a panic attack, you could feel it. You haven't had one in a while but you could distinguish that feeling anywhere. Feeling like you were dizzy, as if you were going to throw up everywhere, or faint, or both.
You needed that bracelet. Over the years you have become dependent on the familiarity of it. It felt like an extra layer of skin, or a tattoo forever inked into you. That bracelet was the equivalent to a child with their baby blanket or a stuffy they just had to have in order to sleep at night. That bracelet was branded into your heart, it was the one and only thing you had left of your grandmother and it was just …gone?
It made no sense. Scouring your apartment once again, feeling as if you were going crazy. It had to be here somewhere. Or maybe you had dropped it off on the way to the crosswalk this morning? But all you could remember was the rain and how it had fallen over you like tiny little pellets.
Sunghoon said it hadn't rained at all though. So what could you actually recall from this morning that was actually true? How hard did you hit your head?
Deciding to calm yourself down for the night you prepared yourself a bath with extra good smelling soaps in it. You need to take a breather, you'll find the bracelet it has to be around here somewhere for sure.
You kept repeating that phrase in your head even after you got out of the bath and while you brushed your hair and your teeth. It's here somewhere….it's here somewhere…you'll find it tomorrow. As you fell asleep for the night the phrase continued to circulate your mind. It was the only thing keeping your heart caged, helping so it wouldn't burst from your chest with nervousness. And even as you woke up in the morning you thought it over and over again. So much so that for a fleeting moment you forgot about sunghoon and how much he hated you.
You were quickly reminded once you stepped foot into the office area the next day.
Sunghoon stood at your desk, waiting for you. You felt like absolutely shit and knew you looked it too. Internally groaning you made your way to him.
“Good morning Sunghoon.” You spoke quietly, almost as if you were trying to poke and prod at him like a giant angrily sleepy bear. In fear that in a fit of rage he’d explode and eat you alive.
“Morning. We have a meeting in five minutes.” His words were short and curt as he turned on his heels and walked away, leaving you to gape at him from behind. He was talking to Jay now quietly, almost hushed like he didn't want anyone to hear them. You didn’t care what they were talking about, not really so you turned to your work trying hard to ignore the simmering feeling inside of you.
You haven't felt like yourself since yesterday and today you felt even weirder. Deciding to ignore it you gathered your things making your way to the meeting room to ensure you were earlier than everyone else was.
You concluded right then and there that you would no longer show Sunghoon that you feared him. This was the only way to gain his respect. Show him you're serious about the job and mean no funny business when it comes to your art. You loved cover design and you recognize just how lucky you were to get this position. You mean business, and you were damn sure going to show it.
Wonyoung was the second person to walk through the doors. Well, more like burst through the doors.
“I’m here! I’m here” She gasped out, carrying an insanely large stack of papers in her hand. Stopping in her tracks when she noticed it was just the two of you in there alone.
“Those bastards.” She cursed, setting the papers down with a slam. “Fucking bastards” She continued to mutter under her breath.
“Uhh…are you ok?” You asked with concern.
“No!” She shouted throwing her hands up in the air, overly dramatic might you add but you were slowly learning that that was just Wonyoung’s style. “Jay and Sunghoon texted me and said I was super late! That I better run here quickly. I didn't even stop to put my stuff down.” Noticing her big fur jacket you stifled a laugh. “They're not even here yet. Oh when I see those two they're dead.”
“Last I saw they were over by the cubicles” You giggled out. Wonyoung’s eyes turned to slits as she watched you laugh.
“It’s not funny” She whined, running her hands through her hair to try and fix it up “i look a mess.”
“You don't look bad at all.” You smiled trying to offer her some resemblance of hope while in reality she looked absolutely gorgeous while also simultaneously looking like she had just rolled out of bed at the same time.
Before she could spit a rebuttal out the sound of the door opening garnered your attention. Sunghoon and Jay sautered in with two cups of coffee in each hand.
“Looking good Won.” Jay snickered, holding the cup of coffee up to her. “Caffeine?”
“I’m going to strangle you both.” She spewed out, her face bright red with anger and embarrassment.
“That's no way to talk to your boss.” You didn’t miss the way Sunghoon walked past you slowly, only bending down slightly beside you to set the warm cup of coffee he was holding down in front of you on the table. He said nothing to you. No acknowledgement besides that. You didn't know how to feel. It wasn't like he specially brought you a coffee, they also brought themselves one along with Wonyoung. Good to know he wasn't so cruel as to exclude you from something as trivial as a coffee run. At least you were thought about in some capacity.
“Thank you” You spoke up, remembering what you had vowed to yourself earlier. Sunghoon gave no inclination that he heard you. Instead he opted for ignoring you. Once again, not meeting your eyes.
“I’m sorry i wasn't sure if you heard me” You said a little louder “I said thank you.” Sunghoon’s face flashed with shock along with Wonyoung and Jay’s who had stopped bickering with each other once they heard you speak with deeper professionalism opposed to your usual stuttering and murmured words.
“I heard you the first time.” Sunghoon grit his teeth. His canines now on full display. A fleeting part of your mind had thought it to be annoyingly hot. You pissed him off but you couldn’t find it in you to care. In reality you enjoyed it. Maybe too much.
“Well I wasn't able to tell since you didn't bother to say anything back. ”
“It wasn't important.”
“Well it's common courtesy.”
“I don't do common.”
“Clearly.” LIke a scene in a movie, your constant banter had Wonyoung and Jay’s heads spinning. Whipping back and forth almost as quickly as your comebacks.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sunghoon said, his eyes narrowing in on you.
“It means that when someone says thank you the normal response is to say you're welcome.” You weren't done and he could tell. He was becoming more and more agitated each time you spoke. You even started to worry that you were crossing a line. Taking it too far perhaps but the overachiever in you wouldn't allow you to stop.
“For god sake sunghoon just tell her you're welcome.” Wonyoung huffed out, rolling her eyes at your admitted childish behavior.
“You're welcome.” Sunghoon grit out. The words falling from his lips had looked like they were dipped in poison. He forced them out in one fail swoop. A part of you wanted to keep going, to tell him you knew he wasn't sincere but you refrained.
That was enough rebelance for one day. You just hoped that Sunghoon knew you were not done. That there was more where that came from.
“Let's begin.” Sunghoon walked to the white board at the end of the table. Like the true boss he was, Sunghoon fixed his suit jacket and cleared his throat.
“As I said in the previous meeting, this cover is due three months from now. And for the newer people-”
“Y/n.” You interjected, reminding him of your name out of spite.
“And for Y/n-” Sunghoon bit out “That might seem like a long time but let me-”
“It’s actually not long at all to me” You interjected again. That seemed to only further Sunghoon’s anger.
“I’d like to get through this presentation without being interrupted.”
“I’d like to get through it without having assumptions thrown my way. If you'd like to know what I can or cannot handle just ask me. There are only four of us in here, it's not a crowded room.” A smirk made its way on your features “You know, in case you're scared of big crowds or anything.”
Wonyoung stifled a laugh behind her closed fist. Her and Jay acting as an audience to yours and Sunghoon’s show. Jay made a show of kicking her ankle under the table but it had only furthered Wonyoung’s giggling.
“I’m fine.” Sunghoon looked down at the table for a moment, taking the time to compose himself. You sat still. The smirk gone from your lips, a serious expression taking precedence. Although bickering at Sunghoon was funny, you didn't want to stray away from what you were really trying to achieve here. And that was to gain professional respect from Sunghoon. Ssure, this might be an immature way to go about it but you felt as if it were the only way. You had to show him that he could just yank you around with his words and you'd just stay compliant. No, you knew how to do your job and you knew how to do it well.
“Like I was saying.” Sunghoon continued. “This cover is due in three months. So far we have images of what they're wearing but obviously they are edited.” Turning to you, Sunghoon set down a few papers.
They were previous editions that this group haad done pre-debut.
“This is how they like to be portrayed. Girly, sweet and innocent. So that’s how we will deal with this issue. Is that understood?” Nodding along you felt it best to keep any rebuttals at bay.
“Don't we think it’s a little crazy that they want them to portray sweet innocent girls when in reality they’re nightmares to work with.” Wonyoung interjected.
“What?” You asked with confusion. “Aren't they a new girl group?”
“Well, yes but we did a cover for them when they were all first announced. They came in to see it and absolutely hated it.” Wonyoung pointed at a specific cover in front of you, one you didn't recognize. “The leader ripped it to shreds. They didn't want it coming out ever. I’m surprised they are even working with us again considering how much they berated us last time.”
“Unfortunately we can't pick who we work with so, we'll just do our best at making the cover look so good they can't hate anything about it.” Sunghoon said while putting away the pages he had set down on the table.
“Easy for you to say Suyu loves you.” Wonyoung rolled her eyes again.
“Yeah, didn't she ask you on a date.” Jay laughed. “Should have gone for it honestly.”
“I don't date.” Sunghoon said with a curt nod. “I had no interest in her.”
“Don't be so uptight hoonie maybe you just need to get laid-”
“Excuse me, that's not an appropriate topic for work and especially not in front of a new hire.” Sunghoon hissed at Wonyoung, a teasing smile spreading across her face. “Also don't call me hoonie, I already told you that.”
“I don't mind,” You said with a shrug. “I think it’s funny.”
“Of course you do,” Sunghoon muttered, shaking his head bitterly. “I’ll see you guys at lunch.” Walking out the door was the last signal Wonyoung and Jay. The two burst into a fit of laughter, Wonyoung so hard tears started falling down the apples of her cheeks. “Oh god!” she wheezed “Y/n that was so funny”
“You really pissed him off,” Jay chuckled with a shake of his head.
“I’m just trying to show him that I'm worth respecting, that's all.” You simply said. You began to gather all of your things in your hands. The laughs of Wonyoung and Jay are still ringing in your ears. You tried your best at suppressing a smile. You should really pat yourself on the back for that one. You were one step closer to getting Sunghoon off your back. But also a part of you had enjoyed the back and forth with him. You had enjoyed just how flustered and annoyed he got. A part of you had felt hot over it. You've said it before and you could really say it a million times over. Sunghhoon was attractive, insanely so. But something that he said had caught your attention. “I don't date.”
It left you wondering why. Asking yourself if something had happened, something like a failed relationship or daddy issues. The nosey person inside of you wanted to ask, but that was one line you knew for certain you wouldn't cross. It was one thing to banter about work and the formalities of it but you certainly did not question someone on their personal lives, especially if you hardly know them.
That didnt mean you wouldn't wonder. You most certainly will wonder about it. But asking was 100% off the table, no matter how badly you wanted to do it.
The rest was mostly uneventful. Sunghoon came to visit a few times but didn’t say much of anything to you. It left you feeling somewhat accomplished upon leaving the office.
As you were half way out the building doors you heard your name being called, loudly.
“Y/n!!” Whipping around you spot Wonyoung rushing towards you. Her coat and sunglasses on as she was also leaving for the day.
“Hey!” She said halting in front of you, her breath was heavy from sprinting towards you. “I just wanted to ask if you would like to meet up tonight for drinks and appetizers. There is this really cute spot downtown that I go to often.”
You had to admit that you weren't much of an outing person. Much preferring to stay indoors with a warm cup of tea and a good book. But for some odd reason Wonyoung’s invitation had excited you. You didn't know how long it's been since you've been out with a friend. A really long time you suppose.
In truth you didn't have many friends anyways. Back home you had one singular friend who you still spoke to from time to time, Chaewon. She was your oldest friend and every time you saw her it was like you had never been apart. You also had a few friends here and there in college but nothing really stuck. You could see yourself without a doubt being good friends with wonyoung. She was funny, smart, pretty and she truly cared about you.
She treated you with the utmost kindness upon meeting her and you had never, ever felt left out around her and Jay. That's why accepting her invitation was no trouble at all.
“Of course.” You smiled, “i’d love to”
“Great!” Wonyoung clapped her hands “I'll text you the address! See you at like ... .seven?” Looking at your watch you had noticed that it just turned four fifteen, giving you ample time to go home and ready yourself.
“See you at seven.” You nodded, turning away with the biggest and cheesiest grin on your face. Racing home to get ready you had a strong urge to pass the crosswalk that you had been at the morning you met Sunghoon. The morning you had lost your red bracelet. You still found it and truthfully you were trying everything you could not to think about it much. When you thought about it you began to panic. You haven't found the courage to ask him about it again. THe man already did not like you for some unknown reason you didn't want to anger him more by accusing him of stealing…again.
Finally getting home you once again noticed the vacant sign on your neighbor's door. You had half a mind to go around and ask when and why he had left so suddenly, and you probably would have done it if you weren't so busy with everything else going on in your life. But once again you decide to ignore it, that seems to be your motto these days. Just ignore everything until it goes away.
It took you practically no time to get ready and out the door. You can't remember a time you had been this excited to go out with a friend. Like you mentioned earlier, going out at all just really isn't your thing, you didn't enjoy settings filled with people and the loudness of it all. You much preferred the serene silence of your home, filled with the familiarity you loved so much
You were early getting to the restaurant so you made an effort in texting Wonyoung that you were there but for her to take her time and not feel rushed.
Entering the restaurant to the chime of the door you were greeted by a hostess. The hostess sat you down with a menu and took your drink order in no time. You took the time to look around at the little bar/restaurant you were at. It was relatively small with very little decor, the lights dimmed and the music blaring through the speakers. It seemed like a place people came to party and eat, it was cute.
Just as you start to settle in, the door chimes again. You don’t need to look up to know—there’s a distinct, comforting energy that surrounds Wonyoung when she enters a room. You hear her laughter first, like a melody, followed by the soft swish of her coat. When you turn, your eyes meet hers, and a warm, familiar feeling spreads through your chest. "Hey!" Wonyoung greets, her voice bright with that signature cheerfulness you’ve admired. But suddenly your breath caught in your throat. Walking in behind her was none other than Sunghoon and Jay.
Walking up to you Wonyoung’s expression held apprehensiveness. She was not sure how you were going to react to Sunghoon being here.
Walking up to your waiting figure Wonyoung sent you a tight lipped smile, one that told you that she knew entirely what she was doing. You forced a smile, but inside, your mind was racing. The last time you’d interacted with Sunghoon had been nothing short of a nightmare. The man was insufferable. He constantly belittled your work, made sarcastic remarks, and had a way of making you feel small with just a glance. Now, here he was, casually strolling into your dinner plans, making everything feel… complicated.
Jay’s had an amused expression on his face, one that had furthered your anger towards the pair. Deciding to not beat around the push you said “Why is he here?” You asked out right, the annoyed look on your face not going unnoticed by the three of them.
Wonyoung chuckled, taking a seat beside you. "I thought it would be fun! You two should get to know each other better outside of work. Jay and I think it would be helpful for the team.”
As Sunghoon sat down across from you, the chair scraping against the floor felt like a loud reminder of how tense the atmosphere had suddenly become. You kept your gaze steady, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of seeing how rattled you were.
But Sunghoon, ever the observant one, smirked. "Don’t look so nervous, Y/n It’s just dinner.” Rolling your eyes you picked up the menu in your hand observing the various courses the restaurant had to offer.
“Like you could ever make me nervous” You said continuing your leisure browse of the menu, trying your hardest to alleviate at least some of the tension that was brewing between the table. “You have a smart mouth. Need I remind you that I'm your boss.” Sunghoon’s face was hard, gone was any sort of amusement. Discontent the only thing in its place.
Scuffing at his words you put the menu down onto the table with a harsh slap, looking at Sunghoon with sharp eyes. “Trust me, I'm reminded every time I walk into the building.”
“Well, you don’t act like it.” Sunghoon’s eyes flared with an emotion you couldn't quite put your finger on.
“Treat me like a respectable employee and I will.” You fired back, not willing to lose this fight.
“Be respectable.”
“Right. Back. atcha.”
“Alright! Alright” Wonyoung threw her hands between the two of you in a dramatic display at being a referee of sorts. “That’s enough. Let’s all get along, we're not at work.”
“She started it-” Sunghoon began to protest. His words were cut short as Woyoung lifted a singular finger pressing them against his lips to shut him up.
“What are you five?” She laughed. “Act like an adult.”
“I’m your boss.” Sunghoon deadpanned. Causing you to roll your eyes at his overused excuse to be an assshole with little to no consequences.
“Give me a break.” You muttered your breath.
“Don't you start.” Wonyoung whipped her head in your direction “You're being just as dramatic as he is.”
“But-” You started out.
“Nope, zip it.”
“OK mom.” You huffed, causing Jay to burst out laughing. Something you could clearly tell he was holding in. Sunghoon’s face was red with embarrassment as his best friend laughed at the two of you, bickering like children.
“You guys are seriously hilarious.” Jay said in between laughs. “Why do you guys hate eachother so much anyways?”
“I don't hate anyone.” You nonchalantly say whilst picking up the menu once again, hopefully for the last time.
“I Don't either.” Sunghoon kicked his friend under the table harshly, annoyed with his constant laughter. “Shut the hell up.”
“Ow, fuck!” Jay hissed. “I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah order your food.” Sunghoon had the ghost of a smile on his face and for a brief moment you admired him.
You had said it time and time again that Sunghoon was a beautiful man, but staring at him your mind began to wander to unforeseen places. If only Sunghoon wasn't such an asshole, you would begin to think you could develop a superficial crush on him. Looking down at his wrist as he held the menu in his hands you one again noticed the red string he wore. The one that was almost identical to the one you were missing, the one that was currently leaving a gaping hole in your heart. Being without it had felt like being without your skin, and seeing Sunghoon sat in front of you adorning one so similar to yours had felt like pure torture. Looking away from Sunghoon your fingers played at the straw that was sitting in your glass of water. Wonyoung started up a conversation that you were only half paying attention to. Finally after what seemed like forever the waiter came to take your order. You had come in famished but for some reason your stomach was in knots, the appetite you once had now gone.
You were positive that Sunghoon was to blame. Your spat with him only a couple of minutes ago had rendered you emotionally tired.
“Do you want a drink?” Wonyoung asked you softly, “It’s on me.” Smiling softly you nodded not wanting to be a buzzkill with your now sour mood. “Get me whatever you're getting.”
After getting your food and taking small bites here and there you still couldn't shift the awkwardness between you all. The conversation was flowing but still, you and Sunghoon had said nothing to each other. Floating around the conversation to avoid addressing one another. You're doing everything you can to pretend like he's not there, but every time you look up, his gaze somehow finds its way to you. The tension is palpable. You could cut it with a knife.
Wonyoung notices your discomfort, probably sensing that you're deliberately avoiding eye contact with Sunghoon. She tries to pull you into the conversation by telling a funny story, but her voice is barely a cover for the fact that you're hyper-aware of Sunghoon's presence. Every time his voice rings out, it's like a reminder that you're stuck in this moment.
You had this sinking feeling that you were being a buzzkill, that you might be inadvertently ruining the night, you tried your hardest to participate in conversation but it seemed unnatural. You were almost ready to give up for the night. Readying yourself to go home and sink into your bed and never leave it.
It seemed the rest of your party felt the same way. Based on the fatigue in Wonyoung’s eyes and the sluggishness of her gaze. A part of you thought it was the alcohol coursing through her. In the two very long, very agonizing hours you were here you had seen her down at least six drinks. She was sure to be stumbling out of the restaurant.
“I will see you on Monday.” Wonyoung’s voice rang out as he leaned her entire body onto Jay’s for support. He held her upright by her waist and you were sure to catch the look of intimate concern on his face and he stared down at Wonyoung’s drunk state.
“Be careful getting home Won.” You said to her.
“I’ve got her.” Jay spoke softly, grabbing her purse in his hand. Sending him a small smirk you nodded. “I know you do.”
Sunghoon was already at the door saying goodnight to his friends before you could even begin to collect your things. You knew that he didn't like you, that was for certain but him not saying goodbye to you haad stung.
Back wass the feeling of significance because of him, and you hated it. You hated that he had such a tight hold on you. You couldn't understand why. Why did sunghoon’s feelings and opinions on you matter so much, and why did you feel such a strong pull of emotions around him. The thought had irritated you to no end. You just couldn't understand why. Gathering your things you leave the restaurant, your mind and heart a mess.
Monday, you wake up to the sound of your alarm, a grating beep that slices through the comfortable haze of sleep. Your first instinct is to slam the snooze button and pretend for a moment that today is an illusion, that you don’t have to face Sunghoon. You groan, pulling the covers tighter around yourself as if the world outside your bed could just go away. But of course, it doesn't. The moment you even think about calling in sick, you can hear his voice in your head—cool, detached, and just a little too smug. “There are tons of other applicants that are dying to be where you are right now. In this position.” You couldn't bear to listen to it. You hate how his words cling to you, how you can’t just ignore them. The annoying thing about Sunghoon is he’s always right, even when he’s wrong.
But no. You shake the thought away, clenching your fists. You’ve got to go in. You’ve got to deal with him. Because if you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of your day spiraling in your own head, imagining every scenario where you just walk out. Still, you can't help but picture the worst-case scenario in your mind: Sunghoon, smirking as usual, watching you with that infuriatingly unreadable expression. Then he opens his mouth, and everything—your blood, your will to keep it together—starts to boil.
Ransacking your closet has become a daily thing, trying your best to look as presentable as possible. You don't want to give Sunghoon any more ammo to shoot at you with. Plus, this was a fashion magazine job. You just had to look good, or at least look like you knew the difference between your ass and your elbow. Deciding on a simple white blouse and a pair of dark denim jeans you rushed out the door at record speed.
After Friday's fiasco at the restaurant you had felt more nervous than usual to walk into work. You weren't ready to face Sunghoon after the argument the two of you had. You had felt so much embarrassment when you had finally gone home and mulled over exactly what had happened. Sure, Sunghoon is an entitled asshole but he’s right. He’s your boss at the end of the day and you really couldn't afford to get fired.
There is nothing that would hurt more than calling your parents after years of not talking to tell them that you had failed at the career you gave up everything for. That wasn't a humbling experience that you wanted to face. Not now, not ever.
Once you got into the office you flashed Minji a smile before be-lining to your desk. You were trying to go unnoticed by Sunghoon. You really didn't know how you would respond if he came to you being his usual stoic, brazen self. Setting your stuff down you noticed that you were the only one there. Both Jay and Wonyoung were late. You haven't caught a glimpse of Sunghoon yet as well. Something you were thankful for.
You began typing away on your computer, tweaking a few things that you had missed Friday before you left. You noticed a few notes that Sunghoon had left on your doc. Asking you to change a certain color, or a font. You rolled your eyes but did as you were told. You had to admit that some of it did look better then what you originally had. The admittance had made you only slightly angry. You had to remind yourself that this was only your first time doing this professionally, as for Sunghoon who had been doing this for over two years now.
After only a short while of working you're distracted by the sound of an all too familiar giggle.
You catch sight of Wonyoung, and something about her today is different. She’s walking in with Jay, and there's this soft, almost too happy vibe between them. Wonyoung’s smile is a little wider than usual, and her eyes keep flicking toward Jay, as if she can’t help herself. And Jay, for
His part seems a little more careful around her, like he's trying to be sweet without being too obvious, but it’s clear they’re in sync. They’re walking close, way too close for just friends, with her shoulder occasionally brushing his, her voice softening when she speaks. And Jay? He’s laughing at something Wonyoung said, his hand resting casually, almost accidentally on her back, guiding her into the office. That tiny touch says it all. You can see it in the way Wonyoung glances up at him, almost as if she’s living in a little love bubble that no one else can quite pop. The way her eyes light up when he says something, like she’s completely smitten and not even trying to hide it.
Something had changed between the two of them, something catastrophic. The vibe between them had shifted into something more tender. They had looked well, in love. Your heart swelled for the two. You remembered the conversation you had with Wonyoung in the meeting room, how she confessed to being in love with Jay. You had settled hope that she had finally told him. Breaking away from Jay, Wonyoung made her way to her cubicle.
“Um..” You mumbled, waiting for her to finally settle in. “Got something to tell me?” You asked cutting right to the chase.
“No?” Wonyoung had a teasing smile on her face, one that told you she was most definitely messing with you. Dangling that carrot over your head in a mocking way to get you riled up.
“Tell me” You whined like a toddler in no mood for silly games.
“Fine, fine.” Wonyoung said with a smile that you had never seen her wear before. It was bright and glittery and very much dopey. Like she was sickeningly in love. You didn't know whether you wanted to puke or jump for joy. Probably both. “After we had left the restaurant I was pretty drunk. You know that.” You nodded at her, waiting for her to continue.
“Well Jay brought me home, and like a drunk idiot I confessed but Jay knew I was drunk and didn't want to say much until I was sober. He slept over on my couch and when I woke up and saw him there I thought nothing of it, I thought maybe he was just as drunk as me and just crashed at my place instead of going home.” A big goofy grin spread across her lips once again.
Your heart had warmed at the sight. You were over the moon to see your friend happy. “But he told me what I had said to him the night before, truthfully I was mortified. That was not at all how I wanted to tell him, you know that.” You nodded, remembering how she wanted to wait to tell him. Worried that he was way too busy to take up with a girl he considered being his friend being in love with him. She had feared he didn't feel the same but anyone with eyes could tell he did.
“He told me he needed to hear me say it while sober, that he wouldn't believe it until I did. So I told him, I told him I loved him and that I've loved him for a while and just didn't want to inconvenience him by telling him.” Her words were dripped in honey as they fell from her lips and you felt nothing but happiness for your friend. Although you have only known Jay and Wonyoung for a short time you could truly see the care and the love the two of them shared, it was only a matter of time before their true feelings were revealed to one another.
“And..and he loved me too.” She looked down at her hands bashfully. “He said that he has loved me longer than I even loved him. He didn't think I could ever feel the same way so he never told me.”
“So a case of miscommunication?” You cracked, a smile now on your lips as well.
“Yeah i guess so”
You were just about to ask her for more details when you heard the sound of someone walking down the cubicle hallway. Looking up you’re met with Sunghoon, the same sharp expression on his face. Instantly gone was your smile and bubbly attitude. In its place a more foul feeling. And a bit of worry.
“Oh god” Wonyoung groaned, swerving around in her chair to face her computer. Sunghoon made a direct beeline for your cubicle, leaving a heavy sinking feeling in your gut. Of course he was coming to you. When was he not?
“I have a few pointers about what you're working on.” Sunghoon said as he stood beside your desk. No good morning, no hello. Just straight to the point.
“Of course you do.” You huffed.
“Do you think that's a color you should be using for the title?” Sunghoon ignored your comment, instead leaning out to point at what's on your computer screen.
“What color would you like me to use?” You quizzed to humor him.
“Probably something that pops like green-”
“Green?” Your disgusted expression not going unnoticed by Sunghoon. “She's wearing a pink jumpsuit. Why would I make the title green?”
“It's for contrast Y/n” Sunghoon remarked with the roll of his eyes.
“It's too bright-”
Sunghoon leaned forward more, placing his coffee mug down onto your desk with a slow, deliberate motion. "Exactly. That’s the point. People will look. They'll remember it. The world doesn’t need another pastel-colored magazine that blends in. We need bold choices if we want to stand out."
“These are young girls we are talking about. They are the epitome of a pastel-colored and girly girl, it also shows subtlety when you use more boring colors like white and beige. It shows class-”
"Class?" he interrupted with a raised brow. "You think class comes in beige? Or grey? People don’t care about your ‘subtlety’ when they’re flipping through a hundred other magazines that all look the same. We need to be striking. Unique."
“You’re not listening to what I'm saying Sunghoon, and you're also not giving me the creative freedoms I need to make this stand out while also not being a huge eyesore.” You exasperated, throwing your hands up in frustration.
“Whatever.” Sunghoon muttered. “Do whatever you want.” Storming off down the corridor without uttering another word.
You were shocked at his audacity to come in here and suggest your ideas to be weak, and not unique. It had felt like one big slap in the face. You didn't know how much more of it you could stand. You needed to hit this in the but and get this weird tension and argumentative behavior to go away. You needed it to stop if you were going to truly work to your highest capacity.
“Screw this” You muttered, getting up from your seat.
“Where are you going?” Wonyoung shouted after you, but you ignored her and continued your fast descent to Sunghoon’s office. A place you had not yet visited. You round the corner to be met with his semi secluded office. The what was supposed to be open windows to his office were covered in top to bottom curtains, shielding what was happening inside.
Sunghoon was definitely the kind of man that desired privacy, even as the boss in his own workplace. That was something you could find yourself relating with.
Knocking on the door to his office you gave him no more than a second before you were pushing the door open and walking inside.
Sunghoon looked up at you with an expression of shock and the utmost anger at your intrusion but frankly you didn't care. You were over this back and forth with him and you were there to settle it.
“Excuse me-” Sunghoon started.
“What’s your issue with me?” You asked, trying to keep your composure as you stood in the middle of his office. “Why are you being so hard on me? Treating me differently than everyone else?”
His brow furrowed slightly, and for a split second, you could almost see a flicker of something, was it surprise? Annoyance? Maybe a little of both? "You think I’m being hard on you?" His tone was quieter now, but still edged with something unyielding, like a glacier slowly shifting. "You’re not the only one who works hard, Y/N. You’re not the only one who’s been under pressure."
You shook your head, the frustration building. "That’s not it. It’s how you treat me. You’ve always been different with me. Jay and Wonyoung? They get praise, they get leeway, they get humanity, and I know they are your friends. But when it comes to me? You always find something wrong. You never—" You stopped yourself, cutting off the words before they became too much.
He was still staring at you, his expression unreadable, but there was something in his eyes now—something deep, something you hadn’t expected. He stood up from his desk, his tall frame casting a shadow over you. His smell had wafted your sense, filling you wholly. He smelt familiar, like someone you once knew but had lost.
"You think you know me?" he asked, his voice low, dangerously calm. "You think you understand how hard it is, how much pressure I’m under? To keep this department running, to keep everything in line?"
Your heart raced as you stepped forward, emboldened by the truth spilling from your lips. "I never said it was easy for you. But why do I always feel like I’m the one you're trying to break? Why do I feel like I’m the one who’s always under your microscope? The one you never hesitate to shy away from with your scrutiny.”
“You're making things up in your head, allowing things to brew with your emotions-”
“Don't you dare tell me how to feel and think, Sunghoon. That’s not for you to decide.” Your voice was stern, a tone you should not be having with your boss. He moved closer to you, impossibly close. You felt a pull between the two of you, one you couldn't explain. A pull you weren't sure was fueled by hatred or something else. The red bracelet he wore on his wrist caught the light of the office, making your heart pound in your chest.
He didn’t even flinch. His gaze darkened, and for a moment, You thought he might actually shout at you, but instead, he did something that made your heart skip a beat. He leaned in close, his breath brushing against your ear as he whispered, “Then maybe you should stop pretending and just admit you want me to notice you.”
“Notice me?” You echoed, Your voice low and dangerous. “I’m not some damsel waiting for your approval, Sunghoon.” You couldn't believe the sheer audacity that he held. To think he had the right to insinuate you made a fuss for the end goal of catching his eye. How arrogant could he truly be? He was maddening, he was turning your mind to utter mush and still through it all he was so damn hot. It had your mind reeling and your pulse jumping. In the thick of it you couldn't help yourself. He stared at you for a long beat, his gaze softening just a fraction. His lips parted as if to say something, but before he could, you grabbed him by the collar and pulled him towards you. The kiss was hard, urgent. More of a collision than a moment of tenderness. His lips were warm and demanding, and you couldn’t help but respond in a hushed moan, your hands threading through his hair, tugging him closer. For a moment, everything else, the frustration, the resentment, the disdain, melted away.
Sunghoon’s hands were on your waist now, pulling you flush against him, his fingers grazing the small of your back. He kissed you with the same intensity he’d had in the argument, his mouth softening only when he pulled back for air.
“Fuck” You cursed, as his lips found your neck sucking dark circles into the exposed skin. Keeping your hands tightly wound in his hair and lift your hips slightly, creating the tiniest bit of friction that you could muster.
Pulling back Sughoon assessed his work on your collar bone before reattaching his lips to yours with fiver. The realisation of what the two of you were doing hit you like a freight train, but before you could pull back your mind was blank. Your vision, blurry then white as a hazy image illuminated your vision.
It was of two figures, one a man with a familiar build and captivating smile. Sunghoon. The other person is a woman, with hair much like yours. You could assume it was you. The two of you were holding hands as you walked along a beach. The sunset behind you is a warm shade of burnt orange, so beautiful and bright as it illuminates the two of you together. Tangled in one another. Your hands were bound together, swaying back and forth in tandem. Sunghoon was smiling at you with a smile you had never seen before. He leans down to kiss your cheek. The shock of it all sends you jolting and back into reality.
You pulled away from Sunghoon with a gasp. Your breathing heavy as your chest moves up and down trying to catch your breath.
“This is wrong.” You whimper. Your emotions beginning to get the best of you. “We..we shouldn't have done that.”
“No we shouldn't have.” Sunghoon’s voice was void of any real emotion, the tone had a shiver shooting up your spine. The reality of what just happened is daunting on you. You had just made out with your boss. The boss who hates you, and who you're sure you hate back.
“You should go.” Sunghoon averts his eyes every which way as he tries his hardest to not look at you. You were grateful for it for once. Fearing if he looked you in your eye it would trigger a river of emotion to fall from you, one that you wouldn't be able to stop.
You've had enough embarrassment for today. If Sunghoon truly thought you were attention hungry before you could only begin to wonder what he thought of you now. After having spewed your disdain to only pull him into a kiss as soon as he got too close. Your self restraint had flown straight out the window, taking your common sense with it.
You don’t kiss your boss. That was an unspoken rule among any workplace and you had just broken it. How were you supposed to act going forward? There was no way you could look Sunghoon in the eye and not be brought back to that very moment in his office. The moment you forgot about being a decent human being, a sensible one.
You let your emotions and the intensity of the moment speak for itself and look where it got you. You're deep into a hole you don't know how to dig yourself out of. Questioning every feeling you ever felt for Sunghoon.
Your mind was a jumbled mess. Comparable to a jigsaw puzzle you just couldn't solve. The resentment you felt for yourself was heavy as you made the awkward trek back to your cubicle. Ignoring Wonyoung’s awakening stare, you sat down in your seat before letting your head fall down with a thump against the wood of your desk.
You ignored the sharp pain and tried your hardest to hold back the prickling feeling of tears welling in your eyes. What could you possibly be crying about? So what? you kissed your boss, move on. That’s what you wish you could be telling yourself but instead the self loathing set it. You don’t want to tell Wonyoung in fear of running her picture perfect day with your mess of a life. One that you had created for yourself.
You raised your head from its place on the desk before turning to look at Wonyoung with a solemn smile. “What’s going on?” She asked with confusion.
“Nothing” You tried to be short so as to not give too much away. “I went to try and ask Sunghoon a question but he wasn’t in his office. I’ll ask him later.” Wonyoung’s eyes turned to slits. It was evident that she didn't believe a word you said, but by the very grace of god she decided to leave the subject alone. With just the nod of her head and tilted frown you knew you had upset her by not telling her the truth. A part of you wants to just blurt it, tell her what you have done. But you couldn't bear the backlash.
Surly Wonyoung would scold you, tell you just how stupid you were for kissing Sunghoon. Who is A.) Your boss but who B.) also just said that he wasn't the dating type. Who in their right mind would kiss their emotionally unavailable boss.
There wasn’t time to dwell much more on what you couldn't change, deciding to ignore it rather than face it. You only hoped and prayed that Sunghoon did the same.
The next few days at work had been tense. To say the least. You had been ignoring Sunghoon like the plague. Something that hasn't gone unnoticed by Wonyoung and Jay who were still very much in love and flaunting it. It had hurt your head to watch them be all lovey dovey day in and day out.
Jay was truly the picture perfect boyfriend and although you were very happy for your friends you couldn't help the deep seed of jealousy that reared its ugly head every time you witnessed it. Every single kiss on the cheek, hug or subtle caress had made you green with envy. You didn't enjoy feeling that way towards your friends but karma had a sick way of cutting deep when you wanted it least.
Wonyoung asked you multiple times what had happened between you and Sunghoon the day you went to his office but each time you maintained your story that he wasn't there. She didn't believe it any time you told her and it was obvious to you that she was sick and tired of that response.
Sunghoon must have been giving her a similar story because everytime she talked to him she was left with a somewhat sour expression as she obnoxiously stomped away from him like a child not getting her way. If you weren't so caught up in what happened recently you would have thought it to be cute. Today had been no different than the rest, you were ignoring Sunghoon, as much as you could ignore your boss. He hadn't come to your desk at all either. Something you were really thankful for. All of that still didn't stop him from leaving his obnoxious notes in your docs anytime you did something to the cover. It was infuriating, being reminded of him constantly.
When lying awake at night you couldn't help but think of the little…vision? You had mid kiss with Sunghoon. You didn't know what to call it, or what it even was. All you knew was that it had felt, real? Too real. It made your head hurt. It was so clear yet so hazy at the same time. None of it made sense. Then you thought about the kiss, the hot hot kiss. You thought about how Sunghoon’s hands felt when he gripped your hips pulling you closer to him. You thought about his lips trailing up and down the expanse of your neck.
Thankfully it was winter and you were able to get away with wearing turtlenecks to work as to hide the dark purple marks he left on your skin. At night you would run your fingers lightly against them and a deep dark part of you wished that you had done more in that moment. Just so you could have more to dream about, fantasize about.
You couldn't deny that you liked it. Very much. You also couldn't deny that Sunghoon had kissed you back, desperately. It had to mean that a part of him had to be attracted to you? Does it not?
Otherwise he surely would have pushed you away instead of pulling you in. He wasn't the one to stop the kiss at all actually, it was you who pulled away.
You who had stated that it was wrong, that you shouldn't have done it. How much further would you have gone if your head wasn't cleared by the reality of what you were doing and who you were doing it with.
You were hesitant to admit even to yourself that you would have gone much further, so much further. You hated yourself for the part of you that wished you had done so. He's your boss for crying out loud. How on earth were you to go back to normal after this. How were you ever going to get Sunghoon to treat you like a regular employee now. Would it ever be normal after this?
You were at the office like you usually would be, trying your hardest to ignore the most recent buzz over an annual christmas party being held at this fancy bar downtown. You were praying Wonyoung wouldn't have the inclination to invite you to it, truthfully it was the last thing you wanted to do. But before you knew it Wonyoung was beside your desk, a big goofy smile on her face that had represented your impending doom to a T.
"Guess what time it is, bestie?" Her voice was sing-song, cheerful, like she’d just won a prize. It had you cringing at the sound.
You didn’t look up, not ready for whatever was coming next. "Don’t even say it."
"I’m saying it," she chirped, drawing out the words like she had all the time in the world. "You're coming to the Christmas party, and that's final."
You Threw your head back with a groan of protest, "Wonyoung, I really don’t feel like going, Can we just—"
"Nope." She was already scooting her chair closer to you with a mischievous glint in her eye. "You’re coming to the party. I’ve already made the decision for you. You don’t get to make decisions right now."
“I’m serious, Wonyoung.” You leaned back in your chair, trying your best to sound firm. “I can’t go. Not with him there.” You had half a mind to make up some family emergency just to avoid what you knew was your ultimate fate but you were already feeling guilty enough for not telling her that you kissed sunghoon.
Wonyoung’s eyes widened for a split second, before narrowing suspiciously. "Who? Sunghoon?" She dropped her voice, clearly trying to be subtle but failing miserably. "Oh, come on. Stop being so dramatic. I thought this little feud between you two would be over by now. Seriously, the two of you need to kiss and makeup already.”
You visibly cringed at her choice of words, something that didn't go unnoticed by her. “It’s not that,” you muttered, your fingers fidgeting with a pen. "It’s… complicated.”
“What are you hiding?” She said, her eyes narrowed into slits. “Did he say something to offend you more? Cause i'll talk to him again, seriously i need this tension to go away because i'm starting to think of you as my best friend and i need all my friends to get along.”
“Well…” You shifted in your seat, trying to avoid her piercing gaze. “It’s not just work stuff, okay? And no he didn't say anything..”
Wonyoung leaned forward, studying you closely. She was sharp, and she wasn’t going to let this go. "Oh my god. What happened?" Her voice dropped lower, her curiosity piqued. "Did you… did you two kiss?"
You swallowed hard. “I… We…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence. How could you? It felt like everything had changed in an instant. "We kissed, okay?" Your voice came out almost in a whisper, the words heavy in the air.
Wonyoung’s face lit up, her eyes wide with shock, then gleaming with amusement. "Oh my god. You kissed Sunghoon?" She leaned back in her chair like she was trying to process the sudden shift in the universe. "Wait, when? How? Why didn’t you tell me?!"
“I didn’t tell you because it’s… awkward now, okay?” You ran a hand through your hair, trying to steady your breathing. “ Wonyoung. I don’t even know what’s going on between us. I’ve been ignoring him as much as possible. I’m trying to pretend like nothing happened but I can’t just pretend like we didn’t—" You cut yourself off, grimacing. The words felt too heavy in your mouth. "I’m just not ready to deal with it."
Wonyoung blinked at you, and then, as if realizing the full scope of the situation, she burst into laughter. You flashed her a deadpanned look. Her laughter grew harder and louder. “I knew it!” she said, her voice full of triumph. “I knew you two had something going on. All that tension between you? It was like a rom-com waiting to happen! And now you’re telling me you kissed? Oh my god. This is so juicy.”
You buried your face in your hands, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep up your neck. “Wonyoung, this is not funny. It’s awkward, okay? And the last thing I want to do is face him at the Christmas party.”
Wonyoung was absolutely giddy now, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, come on. You can’t just avoid him forever. Trust me, you’ll feel so much better once you go and see him in person. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? You both just act like normal human beings and get on with your lives. It’s a Christmas party, not a battlefield."
You shot her another deadpan look. “Wonyoung, you don’t get it. Every time I see him, all I can think about is that kiss. And I really don’t want to be around him when everything is so weird.”
She rolled her eyes, dismissing your concerns like they were nothing. “Come on. It’s not as big a deal as you’re making it. Look, you’re not just going to hide away forever. You’ll be fine, I promise. Besides, I am going, so is Jay, and we need you there to make it a proper party.” You couldn’t help but let out a resigned sigh. You were cornered. Wonyoung would never let this go. If she was determined to drag you to that party, there was no way you were getting out of it.
"Fine," you muttered, slumping in your chair. "I’ll go. But I swear, if he so much as looks at me—"
“Then you kiss him again,” Wonyoung said, her grin widening. “And maybe I’ll start charging for all this drama. I’ll be your manager, and we’ll make a fortune off this mess."
“You're enjoying this way too much.” You muttered with a shake of your head.
“That’s what friends are for” She laughed, “Also, im telling jay about this.”
“No you're not.” You argued. “He can't know. He’ll tell Sunghoon and..and then I really could never show my face here again.”
“He will most certainly not be telling Sunghoon, I won't allow it. I promise.” She assured you with a small pat to your head. “Plus, he’ll probably want to see this all unfold on its own. It's like a comedy show to him.” She rolled her eyes at the thought of her boyfriend's antics. Her pure happiness had brought you joy. Even though a part of you was severely jealous of their relationship, none of that jealousy stemmed from hate, only from love. You wished you had someone who looked at you the way Jay looked at Wonyoung and vice versa but seeing your friend over the moon in love and happy with a good man had made your heart soar.
“When is this christmas party?” You asked, after the two of you had settled down a bit.
“Saturday night.” Wonyoung responded gleefully.
Looking down at your calendar you see that it was now thursday. Three awkward days from your kiss with Sunghoon. You knew you couldn't avoid him forever but you had at least hoped it would be longer than a work week.
You had only hoped that magically Sunghoon wouldn't show up. These things were mandatory he could definitely skip out. You held onto that hope throughout the rest of the day. Continuing to ignore Sunghoon.
At Lunch on friday you and Wonyoung sat in the lounge, you had been too anxious to eat so you just sat as Wonyoung and Jay yapped about what they would be wearing to the christmas party.
Your mind elsewhere not even thinking about what you were going to wear, only thinking about how you could get out of it. Suddenly the door to the lounge opened. Your heart sinking to your stomach as the familiar tap of Sunghoon’s expensive leather shoes were heard, walking this way. Your eyes widened frantically looking over at Wonyoung with a shocked expression.
“I didn't invite him.” She said, her eyes equally as wide as yours. SShe turned her head meeting Jay’s sheepish gaze.
“He might have told me about your kiss, and I forced him to come meet us here for lunch as a way to alleviate the tension.” Jay’s smile was watery as Wonyoung gave him the most brutal look she could possibly muster.
“Jay! You can't ambush a girl like that.” Wonyoung said with a hiss.
“Sorry..” Something about Jay’s sheepish expression gave you the impression that he wasn't sorry at all, instead rather gleeful that this was happening.
Finally Sunghoon approached your table. His eyes rapidly moved back and forth between the three of you. “Hello.” He said curtly, pulling out a chair then sitting down.
The tension was so thick in the air you could cut it with a knife. Your lungs felt about three sizes smaller. The act of expanding them is just a bit harder than before. You knew what was happening. You were having an anxiety attack and you could do nothing but sit in silence as the sickening feeling overwhelmed you.
You couldn't deal with this, not right now. You had prepared yourself for the christmas party but not for this. No, this felt like a surprise attack. You knew it wasn't but still the rapid beating of your heart and the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach just wouldn't go away. It was dizzying. “I-i um..” You stuttered rising from your seat at the table. “I forgot that i have some stuff i need to do i-have to go.” You forced the words out like razors caught in your throat.
“Are you okay?” Wonyoung’s look of concern did nothing to calm the raging storm brewing inside of you, you had to get out of this lounge and fast.
“Yes.” You nodded before turning and leaving the room as quickly as you could. You didn't care how ridiculous it might have looked running out of there.
Sitting down at your desk a heavy breath left your lips and already your heart slowed. No longer were you dizzy with worry. At times like this you wished you had your red bracelet to help ground you, and even more so you wish your grandmother was alive. You wanted nothing more than to call her and ask for her guidance or ask for her to give it to you straight, no sugar coating it.
She would do that for you, much like a mother would. Something you wish your own mother would do for you. You longed for a good relationship with your parents. A relationship where you could call them when you're down and ask for their advice or just their comfort.
They were not entirely horrible growing up. Sometimes your father had acted like a real dad, very rarely but it did happen. You have very few but fond memories of your father waking you up at half past midnight to go to the toy shop with him. He would get new shipments and would be away too excited to sleep. He needed your input on them. He needed you to tell them if they were fun, if they were worth being sold there.
You would play with the toys together really late into the night and it was the most tender you had ever seen your father act. You realize now that a lot of that was because of the shop but you didn't care, it was still a happy memory you shared with him.
Thinking of your messy childhood has somehow helped you calm down. Your breathing was back to normal and your stomach did feel like it was turning every few seconds. You weren't angry at Jay for ambushing you with Sunghoon because you knew truthfully that wasn't his intention. You were more so embarrassed with the way you reacted to him. You must have looked so stupid, so weak. He was right to think of you that way to begin with.
The sound of Wonyoung’s heavy footsteps had also brought you more comfort than you were willing to admit. Somewhat happy that she had come to check on you.
“Are you alright?” Wonyoung’s voice was not a decibel above a whisper as she approached you.
“I’m okay.” You sent her a small reassuring smile. “Let's not make a big deal out of it please.”
“I’m going to kill Jay i swear-” Your laugh cut her off.
“It’s ok i promise.”
“Are you sure because I'll kill him if you ask me to.”
“I’m sure” You said with more laughter. “Please don't kill your boyfriend.”
“Okay..” She trailed off, flashing you a smile. “You sure you're okay?”
“I’m sure.” You reassured her with a nod of your head. You didn’t know how you would fare at this christmas party but at least you’d be ready for it. As ready as you can be anyway.
On the night of the party you made sure to wear something…extra sexy. You wanted to feel good. Plus you were going to a bar. It was time for you to unwind after the last few weeks you've had and how stressful it's been working at a new job with an asshole boss and a huge project thrown your way.
The party’s being held in a bar downtown, cozy and decorated with festive lights and wreaths. It’s supposed to be fun, but the moment you step inside, the last person you want to see is standing by the bar: Sunghoon. He was truly the last person you wanted to see as soon as you stepped into the door. Perched in the two seats next to sunghoon were Wonyoung and Jay, of course.
Ever since that night in his office, the lines between you two have blurred. What started as a sharp, tense argument had escalated into something you never expected—a kiss. Not a casual peck, but a searing, desperate thing that left you breathless and confused. Then the silence. The awkwardness, and the fact that you ran out of the lounge upon seeing him yesterday. Now, here he is, looking effortlessly perfect in a tailored black suit, his hair styled just the right amount of messy. His eyes catch yours the second you step in, and you feel that familiar flutter of dread (and something else you can’t quite name). Your pulse quickens, your palms grow clammy. You think of turning around and leaving before he sees you, but it's too late. Wonyoung is calling for you, waving her hand around like a mad man. It was obvious she already had a few drinks in her.
“Y/n!” Wonyoung giggles as soon as you walk up to them “You're finally here!” You send her a smile, hugging her awkwardly.
“I’m here” You forced the words out.
“Hello.” The words were tense, not sliding off the tongue easily at all. Your stature was rigid; anyone with eyes could tell you were clearly uncomfortable.
“Hi Y/n” Sunghoon says casually, catching you completely off guard but before you could find the words to respond he's already turning to Jay starting up a conversation. And for the millionth time you notice the bracelet on his wrist. That goddamn bracelet. Looking away from it you focused your attention back to the conversation.
“We only have two months left and we can't seem to figure out what pictures to use.” Jay was saying, they were obviously talking about the project. “If we don’t get it right they'll be pissed. You know how they were last time.”
“I was hoping they would cut us some slack with a new hire” Sunghoon’s tone was hushed almost like he didn't want you to hear, but you did and it had pissed you off.
“What?” You hissed out. “You guys hired me as a scapegoat?”
Sunghoon groaned only furthering the simmering anger inside of you. Jay’s eyes widened as Wonyoung went pale beside you, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from Sunghoon. His expression remained calm, detached, like he was making a simple business statement.
“Let’s face it,” Sunghoon continued, unbothered by the sudden shift in atmosphere. “That new project? They’re bound to hate it. And when they do, I’ll need someone to take the heat. You’re perfect for it—you're new, trainable. This is your first time in this field”
The words hit you like a slap, cold and hard. You blinked, momentarily lost for words, the room around you suddenly feeling too tight, the festive decorations too bright, too garish. “I’m perfect for it?” You echoed in disbelief. “So you plan on throwing me under the bus, and you think I’m okay with that?”
“I’m not trying to throw you under the bus Y/n, but these girls, they're brutal ok?” He set his drink down on the bar table. “They hate everything, and if i say you were the one who took the reins the consequences won't be as dire. They’ll use the excuse that it's a teaching moment.”
“Are you seriously telling me you only hired me because I’m some convenient liability?” You said, your voice rising. “Is that all I am to you, Sunghoon? A fall guy?” Jay winced, looking like he wanted to disappear, while Wonyoung stepped back, clearly unsure how to navigate the conversation. But you couldn’t stop yourself.
“Don’t think for a second that I’m just going to let you use me like that,” you spat. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing? You’re trying to play a game with me, but you’ve got it all wrong.” Tears welled up in your eyes, the frustration you felt was immense.
Wonyoung glanced at Jay, both of them taking a step back. It was clear that this wasn’t just a disagreement—it was something much deeper, much more personal now. The air between you and Sunghoon had shifted from something casual to something sharp, dangerous even. You haad thought for a moment, just a moment that Sunghoon would treat you like an actual human being for once, but oh how fucking wrong you were.
“There’s no game Y/n.” He spoke as if this conversation was an inconvenience, like your feelings meant nothing. “I hired you because I knew you had potential, but you came at a difficult time and we used that as an advantage.”
“I’m not going to allow you to tarnish my name” You spat. Fresh tears falling down your face.
For a moment, there was a silence between you two—tense, thick, and heavy. Wonyoung and Jay exchanged uneasy glances, unsure whether to stay or leave. The energy in the room seemed to freeze.
Sunghoon looked visibly annoyed with even a small semblance of anger taking over his features. “It’s not like it wouldn't be your fault if they hate it. You can't even pick a proper title color.”
His sharp words struck you like a knife. Stabbing into your chest with keen precision.
“Fuck you Sunghoon.” You spat out. Words you were surely to regret in the future. Words you would never ordinarily say to your boss. Turning on your heel you rushed to the nearest bathroom. It was one of those family bathrooms that didn't have gender assignment, you were grateful that no one would be bothering you, going in and out of stalls.
Slamming the bathroom door behind you, you allowed the tears to fall freely down your cheeks in what seemed like a waterfall of emotion. You were angry, so severely angry. How dare he insinuate that he was going to use you as a scapegoat. Was your work that subpar that he felt you were the easiest person to use. It had felt like a sick game, one you didn't sign up to play.
A knock on the door sounded throughout the bathroom. “Go away Wonyoung” You sniffled not even in the mood for your fun loving, ever so perky tipsy friend. The door opened anyway, and in the reflection of the mirror you spot Sunghoon.
“Get out.” You grit your teeth.
“Just-just let me talk for one second before you get defensive.” He closed the door behind him with a click.
“Defensive?” You said in shock. “You just told me im being used-”
“That's not- ok.” He took a simmering breath obviously trying to compose himself.
“Yes, ok. I hired you so that we can use you being a new hire as back up for when we inevitably get torn to shreds by Suyu and her members but..it wasn't you specifically ok?”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better, Sunghoon? What kind of excuse is that?”
“Its not an excuse Y/n.” Sunghoon ran his hands through his hair, an action that you shamefully maade your knees wobbly at the sight. Why did this man have to be so daamn beautiful while also being so damn irritating? “It's an explanation. The only excuse would be that you're new. Not that you're not good enough. I know you're good, otherwise I wouldn't have picked you over all those applicants. At the same time I also knew that nothing would satisfy Suyu, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone.”
You looked down at your wrist feeling the barness more than anything. “I’m not some villain Y/n i’m not trying to make you feel useless-”
“Then why do you?” You look up at him, your lashes wet from your tears.
Sunghoon’s response is short, concise but it makes your heart beat a mile a minute. His voice was unexpectedly quiet. “I didn’t mean to make you feel small. I’m sorry.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “You’re… apologizing?”
Sunghoon nodded dumbly, running his hands through his hair once again. You couldn't help the heat traveling to your cheeks, blaming it on the one single drink you had before coming. Sunghoon unconsciously stepped forward, his cologne invading your senses until it drove you mad. His frame was tall, looming over you like a giant. “I am” He confirmed with his words now.
Before you could process what was happening, Sunghoon closed the space between you. His movements were slow, deliberate, and the air in the bathroom seemed to thicken with every passing second. Your heart raced as he stopped just inches away from you, his gaze intense, searching your face.
“I—” he started, but the words died in his throat. Instead, his hand reached up, fingers brushing lightly against your cheek. His touch was surprisingly gentle, the warmth of his skin sending a jolt of electricity through you.
“What are you doing?” You whispered out, hoping that whatever it was, it wouldn't stop.
“I don't know” He said back, just as breathily. “Do you want me to stop?”
Your head shook with vigor. Silently begging him to stay just where he was.
Then, without warning, he leaned down and kissed you.
It was unexpected, and yet, it felt like a ticking time bomb waiting to implode since the last time you had kissed. His lips were warm and insistent, but not in the way you expected from someone like him. There was no arrogance in the kiss, no dominance—just raw, unfiltered emotion, something both of you had kept buried beneath layers of pride and tension.
You stood frozen for a second, your breath catching in your throat. Then, instinct took over. You kissed him back. Your hands found their way to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you pulled him closer. His other hand slid around your neck, his fingers threading through your hair as he deepened the kiss. The world around you seemed to disappear. There was only the heat of his body, the press of his lips, and the racing pulse that had nothing to do with the party outside or the complicated mess that was your relationship with him. Everything felt raw and completely in the moment.
Sunghoon pushed you against the sink, the contrast of the cool porcelain was a godsend against the heat of your skin. With a gasp Sunghoon’s tongue was down your throat exploring the expanse of your mouth with his tongue.
His hands pushed at you, lifting you up and onto the sink with ease you could only deem as incredibly sexy.
“Fuck.” He breathed disconnecting his lips from yours, trailing them down your neck much like he did the day you two had kissed in his office. “Tell me to stop.”
“No.” You gasped out “Dont..dont stop.” Your chest rose and fell rapidly, your hips raising yearning for some kind of friction.
Sunghoon’s hand hungrily grabbed at your sides before sliding up to cup at your clothes breasts. His breath was warm against your skin, fanning over it in quick exhales.
“Can i?” He asked, a sense of urgency in his tone as he toyed with the hem of your tights under the dress you wore. Nodding dumbly you watched as Sunghoon made quick work of pulling your tights down in one fell swoop. Your legs were bare as they hung over the side of the sink. Next to go were your panties leaving you completely out in the open for Sunghoon’s hungry eyes. He drank in the sight of you, his lips rising with a small smirk. “Can I touch you?” He asked.
“Yes” You whimpered out. Once again raising your hips in a show of desperation. “Please” Sunghoon’s fingers ghosted your entrance, feather-like touches leaving you wanting and desperate.
“Please..” You said pathetically, voice barely above a whisper.
“Ok pretty..”Sunghoon cooed, running thumb over your clip, moving it in circular motions driving you absolutely mad.
“You're so wet.” Sunghoon’s voice was ragged and hoarse almost as if he smoked a full carton of cigarettes.
“Mhm” You moaned “Only for you.” You tried to settle your moans not wanting anyone outside the door to hear you, but the way his fingers were working you up and down had made that task nearly impossible.
“I need to taste you.” Before you could say anything else Sunghoon dipped his head down, his hungry mouth lapping up the juices dripping from your wet cunt.
“Oh fuck.” You hissed out arching your back off the sink in pleasure. Your hands were in Sunhoon’s hair pulling and yanking for any form of leverage. “Fuck, fuck.”
Sunghoon’s tongue made circles on your slit, your vision blurry with tears. The overstimulation of the moment is almost too much to bear.
“Oh my god.” You whispered looking down to watch as Sunghoon hungrily ate you out. His actions were comparable to a starving man. It was hot, almost too hot for you to handle.
“Keep…” You breathed “Keep going.. I’m almost there.”
“Yeah?” Sunghoon teased, lifting his mouth for just a split second.
“Mhm” You nodded “Holy-” Your body jolted. You would have fallen right off the sink if it weren't for Sunghoon’s hand holding you in place. Your legs shook with intensity. Sunghoon sucked on your clit, the slurping sound a catalyst to your already awaiting orgasm.
“Oh.” You squeaked “I’m cumming” Your end hit you like a train, blinding your vision with a sheen of white. Your eyes rolling to the back of your skull, it must have been the most intense orgasm you've ever experienced. Steadying your breathing, Sunghoon pulled back. A shit eating grin on his face as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
“Holy shit” You breathed out. Holding the edge of the sink firmly in your hands. You rose your legs trembling from the mind numbing orgasm you had just had. “I’ve never come that hard in my life.”
“That was just my tongue.” Sunghoon’s face had a smug smirk on it, one that said he was proud of the service he just provided.
“We should talk-”
“Please, for tonight let's just not.” His voice held desperation. You couldn't ignore how bad it seemed he didn't want to talk about the reality of what just happened. Quite frankly, neither did you. You'd rather be living in this happy little bubble you put yourself into.
“Come back to my place?” His question caught you off guard. The look of shock not going unnoticed by Sunghoon as he smiled warmly. “If you want to, of course.” He assured you. You didn't have to think it through for very long before you found yourself nodding, agreeing that you would go back with him to his apartment where you were certain you'd be doing much more than what you did in here. But for right now you didnt care. You didn't want to think about what the repercussions of what you were doing and what you were about to do would be.
Just for tonight you wanted to be blissfully unaware of the real world and what would happen on monday once you saw Sunghoon again. Tonight you were just a girl and Sunghoon was just a guy. Two people who wanted to have fun after a night out at the bar. A girl could pretend and that's exactly what you would be doing.
“How are we going to get out of here without Jay and Wonyoung noticing?” You questioned. The last thing you wanted was questions from Wonyoung asking what you were just doing and also what you were about to do. You wanted to just do it.
“Jay texted me that he took Wonyoung home. Turns out after we stormed off she down half a bottle of vodka because of the stress. She’s wasted right now.”
You made a mental note to call Wonyoung in the morning. You worried that tonight had been too much for her. You didn't want her to think any of this was her or Jay’s fault, you didn't blame them one bit for what happened tonight, even if it was Wonyoung who forced you to come in the first place. And they for certain had to know of Sunghoon’s plan to hire someone who could be their scapegoat for the project. But that was a discussion for another day, right now all you were worried about was getting to the car unnoticed.
“Thank god.” You sighed out. “Hopefully everyone else is too drunk to care why we're leaving together.”
“Oh none of them really care.” Sunghoon laughed. “They're all like npc's, they just move around the office emotionless.”
Laughing, you put your tights and panties back on before following Sunghoon out the door of the bathroom and back into the dimly lit bar. The Christmas music blaring over the loudspeakers and people laughed and joked with one another. Sunghoon latched onto your hand, dragging you outside of the bar and away from everyone.
“My car is just down here.” He continued to pull you as you followed after him like a little duckling following their mother.
Once you got to his car you admired the sleek black range rover for only a second before you pushed yourself in. Suddenly a giddy feeling overwhelmed your senses. You were excited to go back with Sunghoon. You weren't stupid you knew what was about to happen. Sunghoon hopped into the driver's side of the car, taking off with ease.
“I don't live far from here.” He spoke quietly now, quieter than he was in the bar. You rolled the window down to get some air in, feeling suddenly hot.
The night was crisp, and the hum of the car engine seemed to carry the weight of everything that had happened. Sunghoon was driving, his fingers tense on the wheel, the road ahead illuminated by the glow of streetlights that flickered past in a steady rhythm. The air between you felt heavy, thick with the tension of what had just unfolded.It seemed that both of your minds began to wander, thinking about what it was exactly the two of you were doing.
“Are you ok with what's about to happen?” Sunghoon suddenly asked. It was a dangerous question. And you knew that the right answer was supposed to be "no," that professional boundaries were sacred, that nothing should have happened between you two. But in this moment, everything felt irrelevant. The company, the rules, the reason for you being hired. None of it seemed to matter in the wake of that moment spent in the bar bathroom.
“Yes” I whispered hoarsely “I shouldn't be but I am..” You took a deep agonizing breath “I really am.”
“Are you ok with what's about to happen?” You now asked him.
“Yes.” His answer was short and straight to the put but his single word held so much power. It was all the confirmation you needed to know that tonight was a night to forget about the semantics of it all. How long has it been since you've been touched? Since you've had sex? So long you couldn't even begin to remember.
You missed being vulnerable with someone enough to allow them to see all of you.
Finally when Sunghoon stopped his far in front of a large apartment building you could only assume was his you had the feeling of nervousness in your belly.
You had felt like this since walking into the bar earlier. It was a different kind of nervous though, this was an excited nervous, and when you reached his apartment and walked inside you could only describe the feeling you felt as an overwhelming sense of excitedness.
Sunghoon took your jacket off slowly, pushing it down your body, careful to brush his fingers ever so slightly against your skin.
“Do you want wine?” He asked you. You hummed a yes at him. You looked around his apartment admiring the beautiful art that had adorn the walls.
He had an expensive taste you would give him. His apartment was something out of a catalog so perfectly…Sunghoon. The furniture was sleek black leather polished to perfection. The rug had a cool dark grey tone, it looked warm and fuzzy. You fantasized Sunghoon having his way with you on top of it. The thought had your cheeks warming with blush.
“Here you go.” Sunghoon whispered from behind you. He handed you a wine glass filled ¾ the way with red wine.
‘Thank you.” You took the glass in your hands, taking a sip moaning at the sweet taste of it. Sunghoon watched you with a look of fascination, a hint of deep and desirable lust mixed in.
“I didn't know watching someone drink wine could be so…sexy.” Sunghoon licked his lips, the action causing a shiver to run down your spine straight to your core, just where you needed him most.
“Really?” You purred, bringing the wine glass close to your lips before taking a small sip. You made sure to look at Sunghoon through your lashes looking up at him with a pouty smile. Something that had certainly sent his mind haywire.
“Can i fuck you?” He asked outright. Surprised by his candor you said nothing for a second, blinking at him as he awaited your answer. You nodded dumbly feeling the wetness in your panties already.
“Use your words sweetheart.” Sunghoon took the wine glass from your hand, setting it down onto the island beside you.
“Yes.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you muttered the words. “Please”
Sunghoon circled you and his gaze darkened. His big hands made careful work of slowly moving your hair to the side to expose your neck. Sensually he brought his lips down kissing up with feather-like touchess, hips lips just barely touching the skin. It had you aflame, your body felt akin to his like this was something right, like the two of you were meant to be this close, to be touching one another.
He reached your jaw in no time, then your check. He titled your head towards his, finally connecting your lips as he held onto your chin. The kiss was deep and you savored every second his mouth was attached to yours. Suddenly without warning Sunghoon’s hand left your chin and traveled down the expanse of your body all the way to your thighs where he used both hands to lift you. A yelp let your lips in surprise, then a giggle.
“I’ve been thinking about this moment for weeks.” Sunghoon’s voice was deep, almost raspy. It had your core throbbing at the sound, your heart picking up speed in tandem. “I’ve been waiting for the day i could have you sprawled across my bed completely naked, ready and wanting, just for me.” His words had your mind reeling as he tossed you down onto his bed. His plush duvet and mattress softened the blow.
You looked up at Sunghoon with wide eyes and puffy lips as pure arousal coursed through you, he ended up doing something, anything, and now. Your desperation for him was palpable. Your body is electrified with need for him.
“Really?” You couldn't help but ask. Truthfully you found it hard to believe that Sunghoon had been thinking about you this way for almost the entirety of knowing you, but you'll let it slide.
“Mhm” He hummed as he pulled your tights down your legs for the second time that night. His body rose skillfully, taking off his jacket, then his dress shirt until his upper half was completely bare to your wandering eyes.
“You're beautiful” You marveled, resting your hands on his shoulders as he came back down. His lips connected back to yours in a hungry kiss, his hands pushing your dress up just enough that your panty covered heat was exposed. Sunghoon’s fingers circling your covered core apply light pressure but not enough to satisfy the need brewing inside of you.
“I need you.” You whimpered out raising your hips in a show of desperation. Sunghoon chuckled, a smirk on his lips.
“How bad do you need me?” He was teasing you, playing with you and it hurt so good.
“So bad.” You whined as you ran your hands down his shoulders to his torso then over his groin where his very prominent hard on presented itself even in the confines of his jeans.
You began your own teasing, rubbing your hands over him causing a hiss to leave his lips in pleasure.
“Don't tease me.” Sunghoon grit the words out as his breathing became more ragged with every movement of your hand.
“Your first.” You shot back at him.
Sunghoon’s hands were quick as he yanked your paanties down in one fail swoop. Then running up to the hem of your dress pulling it over your head and off your body just as quickly.
You weren't wearing a bra, it wasn't needed for the type of dress you were wearing. You were now completely naked and ready for Sunghoon.
Sunghoon lifted himself away from you to take off his pants and boxer shorts, the loss of warmth from his body leaving you shivering.
You were really about to do this. You were about to have sex with your boss. The thought made you nervous all over again, but also excited? It’s been so long since you've been touched and to be touched by such a beautiful man like Sunghoon? You were heaven and there was truly no way this was real life.
Your thoughts were pulled from you as soon as Sunghoon’s lips met the skin of your stomach trailing up until he reached your breast. Cupping the left with his big hand he attacked his mouth to the right, sucking on your nipple.
“Oh.” You squealed, running your hands through his hair and down his neck. “Please.”
“Please what baby?” The pet name left you a puddle of yourself coupled with the pure arousal coursing through your veins at the simplest of touches he left on your heated skin.
“Please fuck me.” You were done waiting for him. You needed him, now. The throb of your clit was overwhelming as it called for some kind of relief.
“Since you asked so nicely..” Sunghoon readied himself at your entrance, tapping the tip against your slit a few times before finally sinking in. Slowly at first allowing you to get used to the stretch of him inside of you.
“Is that ok?” He asked you slowly, pushing his hips back and forth. You nodded, struggling to find the words to say.
“Fuck.” Sunghoon moaned “You’re fucking tight.” His hips gradually moved faster now smacking against yours lewdly.
“That’s it.” You chanted “Faster please.” You pleaded with him, begging him to satisfy the craving deep inside of you.
“You're greedy..” He tsked at you as he slowed his hips. He was teasing you again, torturing you and your need for him. Your legs trembled as you whimpered and moaned for him to move faster, harder, anything.
“Greedy.little.thing” He punctuated each word with a slam of his hips against yours. His balls slapping against the base of your ass. “How bad do you want it?”
“So bad.” Your hips lifted from the bed but Sunghoon made quick work of pushing them down, his grip harsh and firm, surely leaving the skin bruised but you didn't care, not one bit. “I want it so bad.”
With a gasp, Sunghoon pulled out suddenly leaving you with an empty feeling. “Sunghoon-”
“Turn over.” His hands grabbed at your hips roughly turning you on your stomach. “Ass up Y/n”
Arching your back Sunghoon took your hips, lining himself up with your entrance once again before slamming himself inside of you with a rough smack of hips against yours. He began a brutal pace.
Moans leaving your lips like a mantra as he overwhelmed your senses, captivated your body with his as he took you sharply from behind with no mercy. The sharp sound of skin against skin coupled with your moans and his groans of pleasure were the only sounds to be heard. You lost yourself in one another as you allowed Sunghoon to take your body any way he wanted. He used your hole as his own personal fleshlight fucking you with a sense of urgency you had never seen him have before. It was maddening, and it was so so fucking hot.
Your body gave way to him as your orgasm approached you with fast speed, an impending doom that you very much welcomed. But suddenly like the time before in his office your vision blurred, turning white and hazy behind your closed eyelids.
Another unexplainable vision passed before your vision, one that just like the other had felt very real, very familiar. You were in a house, a warm and cozy house. The sides of your vision blurry; you're only focusing on the couple that currently occupied the bed. A man, Sunghoon, hovered above a woman who looked identical to you. They were having sex. It was slow, deliberate, it was…Romantic. The kind of sex you would have when you were in love. The fact was proven to you when you distantly heard the sound of your own voice whisper “I love you Sunghoon..”
Then nothing. Your vision cleared and you were back to where you were before. On Sunghoon’s bed in his apartment, face down ass up as he pounded into your core from behind. The vision blinded you, surprised you. It had triggered the explosion awaiting inside of you as it hurtled you towards your end.
“I’m cumming!” You squeaked “Holy fuck i’m cumming.” Sunghoon’s pace didn't let up. Actually, it became more brutal, more intense.
Sunghoon gasped, whacking his hips against yours a few more times before stilling, spilling his load deep inside of you with one last heavy sigh. Your mind was blank as you tried to catch your breath. You didn't even register Sunghoon slipping out of you to grab a towel, and him cleaning you up.
After a while of sitting in silence the lines that you blurred had started to take residence in your mind. What did this mean? How would you move forward? You were not entirely sure what it is you felt for Sunghoon. You knew that he pissed you off. You knew that what happened at the bar had hurt you more than you'd like to admit, and you also knew that you felt a pull to sunghoon unlike anyone else. It also didn't explain the random flashbacks that you got every time something intimate happened between the two of you.
Flashbacks that had felt way too real. It was unexplainable, it was jarring. You've heard about things like this happening in fiction. In things like books and movies and even the old stories your grandmother would tell when she went on and on about the red string of fate, but certainly something like that was not real. This is reality. So what was happening to you?
The silence in the room was deafening.
“I’m not looking for a relationship,” Sunghoon finally broke the silence. With words you weren't really ready to hear. You should have known this would happen. He’s been more than clear before when you talked in a group about him getting into a relationship but still the words stung as they hung in the air around you, the silence back.
“I-i think I should go.” You rose from your place on the bed, searching the dark floor for your things.
“Y/n i-” You cut him off before he could get the words out.
“It’s fine.” You pushed out. “You don't have to say anything.”
“I think i should though, i need to explain-” Again, you cut him off.
“You don't owe me anything, Sunghoon.” Your voice whispers. “We’re adults ok.”
“At Least let me bring you home.” But you were already shaking your head, denying him.
You messily put your clothes back on with only the dim lights cascading over you.
“I’ll get an uber, really Sunghoon. It’s fine.” With that you were out the door. A fresh new set of tears falling from your eyes and onto your cheeks. You didn't even know why you were crying really. It seemed ridiculous but you were very dumb. Dumb to think even for a second there was more to this than sex. To consider him as someone who would..care for you in that way. Stupid, stupid, stupid you were.
Did you even want that? A relationship with Sunghoon? You didn't know. But you knew that you would be open to trying. Sunghoon was a man you could see yourself falling for if given the chance, but you wouldn't be. And maybe that's for the better.
It was late by the time you got home. Allowing yourself a bowl of ice cream before bed. You sent Wonyoung a text letting her know you got home and for her to text you when she woke up. There was no way you’d be telling Wonyoung what had happened tonight with Sughoon, not a chance.
Over Sunday you laid in bed most of the day, your mind only on Sunghoon and what you had felt. The sex..well, the sex was phenomenal. You wouldn't deny that. You didn't want Sunghoon thinking he left you wounded though. The strong independent women in you wanted you to walk into the office with your head held high like nothing in this world bothered you. Like you knew you were hot shit and nobody could take that away from you. But unfortunately that way of thinking was unrealistic for you. You were not the confident, take charge type of woman you aspired to be. But you could be, and that would start with Sunghoon.
You had the brilliant and not at all damaging idea to march into his office and propose something he could not turn down. An agreement of sorts.
And on Monday you do just that as you march into the office building with faux confidence. Be-lining straight for his office you knock on the door. Opening it without another word. Seeing Sunghoon sat there at his desk, mid typing. He looks up at you with a flash of shock across his face.
You close the door, twisting the lock behind you.
The air between you feels electric, thick with all the things you’ve both avoided saying. It’s a strange feeling, being here, in front of him after what the two of you did Saturday night.
“I’m not here to complicate things,” you finally say, voice a little rougher than you’d like. You glance at him, wondering if he thinks you look utterly ridiculous. “Friends with benefits. No strings. That’s the deal.”
The look of pure shock on his face doesn't go unnoticed, his mouth opening then closing trying to find the words to say to your…proposition.
“What?” he asks finally, standing from his desk to move closer to you.
“You said you don't do relationships. What happened Saturday was..amazing Sunghoon. So I'm asking you. Friends with benefits?” You could feel your confident resolve fading, the embarrassment settling in at the look on Sunghoon’s face.
“You really want to do this?” he asks, voice steady, though there’s a look in his eyes you can’t quite place, one of uncertainty. You’ve never been good at keeping things casual. A rivalry, a competition, a good round of banter—you know the rules of that game. But this... this feels like a completely new kind of contest. And something tells you that neither of you is walking away without losing something. But there’s a part of you that can’t help but lean in closer, feel the pull of whatever this is between you. You’ve danced around it for too long.
"Okay," He trailed off. "If we’re doing this, we need to be clear. No... misunderstandings. I know this isn't your thing, I know you're nervous. Even if you're trying to hide it."
You’ve always been good at setting boundaries, at keeping things professional. But this? This is different. This isn’t just a professional arrangement. This is... personal, you've crossed a line. You crossed it when the two of you kissed, and even more so when you had sex. What’s one more?
"Look, I’m not nervous," you say, your voice a little too defensive. "But if we’re doing this... if we’re going to be friends with benefits, we need to have some ground rules. Clear ones. No exceptions."
He leans forward slightly, his eyes fixed on yours with that intensity that always makes you second-guess yourself. “Alright. I’m listening.”
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. This is what you’ve wanted, right? This is how you wanted to proceed. This is what you convinced yourself you could handle, you've never been that type of girl before but now, you were going to try. Even if you could end up burned, your heart shattered. Was this decision all that wise? You didn't know. you feel exposed. Vulnerable. Like everything you’ve worked to protect is teetering on the edge of collapse.
“I’m not looking for anything complicated,” you start, focusing on the words to keep yourself grounded. “This is just... physical. Nothing more. No emotional baggage. No trying to change anything.” You hold his gaze, even though your palms are starting to sweat. "We’re just doing this to scratch an itch. And then we walk away, no strings attached." You're lying. Oh god, you're lying. This is a recipe for disaster.
Sunghoon nods slowly, as if considering the terms. “Fair enough. No emotional attachment, no complications.” He smirks again, and it makes your stomach do an anxious flip. “But you’re not worried about catching feelings, are you?” His playful nature sent your stomach turning, how could he be so calm? So collected.
You scoff, though there’s a nervous edge to it. "Please. You think I’m going to fall for you?" You try your hardest to seem composed, it was working. The words sound harsher than you mean them to, but the reality is that you do worry. A part of you fears that this could slip into something more, something deeper, despite your best efforts. And the last thing you want is to make this even messier than it already is.
“Just making sure we’re on the same page,” he says, leaning back in his chair again, his expression unreadable. “But I’ll play by the rules. No emotions. No attachments. And no... complicated goodbyes.”
You nod, but the knot in your stomach tightens. You weren’t sure what you were expecting when you agreed to this, but now that you’re spelling everything out, it feels far more real than you’re ready for. “One more thing,” you add, your voice quieter now. “We keep this private. No one at the office knows. No one. Not even Wonyoung and Jay.”
Sunghoon tilts his head, considering you with that sharp, calculating look that makes you feel like you’re being sized up. “Of course. You think I’m going to go around broadcasting this? We’ll never hear the end of it.”
The way he says it so confidently, so assured only makes your anxiety spike. You can’t help but wonder if he’s done this before. How many others has he had these “arrangements” with? You push the thought aside, unwilling to give into your own insecurities.
"Good," you say, the words coming out a little more firmly than you feel. "And lastly... no mixing business with pleasure. Work stays work." You emphasize the last word, hoping he’ll hear the seriousness in your voice.
You see the glimmer of amusement in his eyes, like he knows exactly what you’re getting at. “Of course. But if the workday does end early one day, I’m sure we can both find ways to... entertain ourselves.”
“Were not fucking at work Sunghoon.” You feel your face flush, and you hate it. You’ve spent so much time keeping it together, maintaining control. But now, with him in front of you, with this new arrangement, you’re on the edge of something that makes you feel both exhilarated and terrified.
Sunghoon’s eyes soften just a little, and you swear you see something resembling sincerity flicker across his face. “I promise. No pressure. We keep it casual. I’m not here to complicate things... unless you want to.” He gives you a knowing look, the one that always makes your heart race, like he can read you better than you’d like to admit.
“I don’t want to,” you reply quickly, almost too quickly. Your voice comes out more defensively than you mean it to, and you hate how transparent you feel in this moment, but you have a feeling you’d be doing a lot more than just work when you come in everyday. His hold on you terrified you just a little bit. It feels like you’ve just signed some invisible contract. The rules are clear—at least, as clear as they can be. But you know yourself better than this. You know that this isn't something you would typically do, And now you’re about to step into uncharted territory, where the stakes are higher than you ever imagined.
“You sure you’re alright with this?” Sunghoon asks, his tone soft now, almost too casual for how serious the situation feels.
“I’m sure,” you say, your voice steadier than you feel.
He stares at you for a moment, the quiet hanging between you. It feels like he’s measuring you, weighing your words, before he finally nods. “It’s a deal, then.”
You nod, your breath finally evening out. You’ve set the rules, and so far, they sound simple enough. “Deal.” though you’ve set the boundaries, though you’ve promised yourself this won’t get complicated, deep down, you know it already is.
It had been a few days since the two of you made your agreement, and to say it's been a bit awkward would be an..understatement. It seemed the two of you didn't quite know how to break the ice. In the bathroom of that bar was easy, you had been heated, in an argument your emotions were running high. You both ran on pure adrenaline to get you going.
Sunghoon still acted himself when it came to the project, but not as bad which you were grateful for. He let up a little, let you take the reins.
Wonyoung noticed the shift in your attitude towards each other. She had asked you what seemed like a million times about what happened in the bathroom that night but all you would say is that Sunghoon apologized, that you had come to an understanding.
She didn't buy it, of course but she decided to leave it alone for now, holding onto the fact that you would eventually spill like you did with the kiss. Little did she know that this was much more than that.
There was no way in hell you'd be telling her that you and Sunghoon slept together and there was no way you'd be telling her that you agreed to continue. No.strings.attached. God, what were you thinking? And why did the thought of sneaking around excite you so much. You didnt realize you were your own fucking maschoist but here you were.
Walking into the office today felt a little heavier than usual. The air is tense and stiff. Minji greeted you with a tight lipped smile void of all its usual sunshine and warmth.
“What's going on?” You asked Wonyoung as soon as you sat down at your desk for the day.
“The big boss is in.” She whispered to you, trying to keep her voice low. “He’s tearing Sunghoon a new one.”
“What?” The word fell from your lips too loud it seemed based on the shush Wonyoung sent your way. “Why?” You said quieter this time.
“Suyu hated the draft we sent. The boss is capital P pissed.” Your eyes knit in worry. You thought about the conversation at the bar. The one that fueled the big fight you and Sunghoon had. He was using you as a scapegoat, was he not? Still he is being ridiculed. How strict were these girls and why did they hate every single thing Seoul magazine did. Why even keep coming back? You just didn't understand.
And if it were so widely known by the company, why is Sunghoon getting the brunt of it. Obviously nothing will please these girls no matter how much all of you try.
“Why do they keep coming if they hate us so much?”
“Suyu is like in love with Sunghoon, but he rejected her. I think it's some kind of revenge. I don't know, that girl is crazy.” Wonyoung huffed. “Great, now Sunghoon’s going to be in a shit mood all day.”
Her words served as a catalyst to your next idea, an idea that’ll help you break the ice with Sunghoon. You told yourself you wouldn't do this at work, but you couldn't think of a better place to get Sunghoon’s mind off of his boss and Suyu. So, you waited. You waited a whole hour till the sound of Sunghoon’s office door opening was heard by the entire floor. The booming voice of what you could only assume was the big boss. He turned the corner entering the cubicles with a scowl on his face. He was an older man, balding with deep wrinkles. He definitely looked..aged. He walked down the hallway with an emotionless expression that had a shiver running down your spine in intimidation.
You couldn't believe you ever thought Sunghoon was intimidating, this man was pure intimidation to its core. He looked angry and that was something you definitely didn't want to deal with. A part of you began to feel defensive as he walked down the hall getting closer and closer to passing by your desk.
How dare he blame Sunghoon or anyone else for that matter for Suyu and her members not liking the cover. From what you've been hearing she didn't like anything. How could you fail your employees who were working tirelessly on a project destined for failure. The corporate word was brutal, and this right here was proof.
It had your blood boiling. You could only imagine what Sunghoon was feeling. Luckily the man passed by your desk with ease, not stopping to check out the newcomer. And as soon as he was out of your sight and you were sure he wasn't coming back you rose from your seat with a newfound confidence. One you didn't see from yourself very often.
It must have been your lucky day because Wonyoung was no longer at her desk, she wouldn't be able to spot you leaving in the direction of Sunghoon’s office.
When you turned the corner coming face to face with his door your heart began to quicken in your chest as the reality of what you were about to do set in. knocking on the door you awaited for his response, it was a quick and curt “Come in.” If you weren't so insanely nervous you'd be turned on by his tone alone.
Sunghoon didn't bother to look up from his computer as you walked into the room, closing the door behind you and locking the door with one single click. The blinds to his clear glass windows were up, allowing anyone to peak in. You thank lord himself that his office was semi closed off from the rest of the floor. You grabbed the blinds, turning them so that they would come down, shielding the two of you from wandering eyes. When you turned back around Sunghoon’s eyes were now on you. His eyes gleamed curiously but also a hint of excitement?
“What are you doing Y/n?” He asked with a low voice.
“You seemed stressed.” You did your best at hiding the nervousness behind your voice. Masking it to the best of your ability. A smirk formed on his lips and you were slightly surprised by how fast he allowed you to infiltrate his office.
“Yeah?” He asked, leaning back in his chair with a smug look. “I am quite stressed.”
“I came to help.” You sent an innocent smile as you crossed your hands behind your back swaying your body lightly. “However you need me to.’
You walked up to his desk as he pushed his chair back, making room for you. You stood next to his sitting figure, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. Sunghoon looked up at you with a coy, very very sexy expression. His hands sneakily circled your waist pulling you closer to his lap.
“However I want?” He hummed.
You gasped softly as he grabbed at the flesh of your ass roughly in his big hands. He set a small smack to the clothes skin, a laugh bubbling in his chest when a sheen blush coated your cheeks.
“You're so cute.” He teased with a smile, turning you into a puddle of yourself with one simple upturn of his lips. “Turn around.” He demanded.
But before he could push you around to face his desk you stood firmly in place. Using your finger to his chest to send sitting back in his chair up right. Waiting and wanting for you. You were in charge here, not him.
“No.” Your voice was stern, no sign of the nervousness brewing inside of you. “I’m in charge here.”
“Are you now?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“Mhm” You hummed, falling to your knees in front of him. “I’m going to make you feel so good.”
You made quick work of unzipping the zipper of his dress pants and pulling his length out before he could let out so much as a breath.
“We don't have much time, so I'll need you to be quick.” Your words were accompanied by a small lick to the side of his length. All the way from the top to the very bottom. Sunghoon’s eyes darkened as he took in your kneeling figure before him. Gone was the sexy, smug smirk. A look of pure desperation in its place.
“Can you do that?” You were teasing him, playing with him like a cat playing with a mouse. His breath came out short, his chest heaving.
A single nod. Was all the confirmation he gave, along with a tight lip and the tilt of his head. You decided you were done teasing him. You attached your mouth to his length. Only half of him being able to fit before your gagging.
“Holy f-fuck.” Sunghoon stuttered as you worked your mouth along his length, using your hand to cover the rest that wouldn't fit.
“That’s so hot.” He hissed, his words serving as a catalyst for you to keep going. Your hand circled down cupping his balls in your hands. Giving a slight squeeze.
“Oh fuck!” Sunghoon cupped his hands over his mouth to try and silence himself. The last thing we needed was for someone to hear you.
Moving up and down faster and faster you were left waiting and wanting for Sunghoon to cum down your throat, excited for the warmth he would provide.
You slipped him out of your mouth with a gasp, jerking him rapidly to keep your pace. “How’s that feeling?” You asked him, sticking your tongue out.
“Go-oh fuck-good.” Sunghoon’s words were slurred as you slipped his dick back inside of the heat of your mouth, slurping and lapping like a hungry slut.
“I’m close” He was wheezing, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “You want it in your mouth baby? You want me to cum down your little throat?” You nodded along his length, excited.
“I’m almost there.” His voice now a whisper, his eyebrows knitted holding onto the arm of the chair with white knuckles. “I’m-oh”
His cum shot down your throat on spurts as you lapped at him like a dog in heat, moaning. Draining him until he was empty and heaving.
Your mouth left his length, wiping the sides messily.
“Fuck.” Sunghoon tried to regulate his breathing and looked down at you with big wide eyes. “What the hell was that for?”
“You were stressed.” You shrugged your shoulders in an attempt at looking nonchalant but you weren't really sure if he was buying your act.
“Well..Thank you?” He said it as a question, causing a laugh to bubble inside of you as clarity sent in.
“Wonyoung said the boss was in here giving you a hard time. I just wanted to help you out.”
“You did help me out. A lot.” His smile sent a warm feeling shooting through you, falling to the pit of your stomach. The feeling embarrassed you. This was a game you had to remind yourself of, just fun. Absolutely no strings attached, so why were you feeling so warm and fuzzy? Don't be ridiculous.
“Is everything ok?” You asked. Sunghoon nodded, his smile falling from his face.
“Suyu hated the cover, as we all knew she would. He was chewing me out for it. Says everything about it needs to change.”
“What?” Your shock was palpable. Your anger is even more so. “There’s only two more months left.” You couldn’t imagine why the company would allow such abuse from a client, how could they want a group of people they know i'll be dissatisfied no matter what you did. It made no sense to you, and it angered you even more. You, Wonyoung, Jay, and Sunghoon have been working tirelessly on the cover for over a month now. It was unfair for them to come in and pick it apart.
“Doesn’t matter.” Sunghoon said with a tired expression. “The company says scrap it, so we scrap it.”
“Are they going to give us an extra month to work on it?” You questioned, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that already but still you waited for Sunghoon to respond.
“No.” He answered, exactly as you knew he would. For some reason being prepared for his answer didn’t lessen the blow. “That’s bullshit.” You hissed out running a hand tiredly through your hair “And not fair.”
“I know.” He responded. It was clear to you that Sunghoon was dejected. He knew that no matter how unfair it was that the company just wouldn’t budge. This was what they wanted and now you and the rest of your team were going to have to work ten times harder to get the cover done in time.
The next monday Sunghoon isn’t in office. He’s off on a business trip until the end of the week and you couldn’t help but curse yourself every time you started to miss him. Sunghoon wasn’t your boyfriend. He was your boss and someone you were having sex with occasionally. Someone who has made you feel things you’ve never felt before. Especially during sex, and especially almost every time you and Sunghoon kissed or had sex, or sometimes even touched you were flashed with something that feels like a memory, a vision of something that felt familiar but you had never actually done before. You couldn’t figure it out. You were beginning to believe you were going crazy, that was the only plausible explanation for all this, right?
At night you're left mulling over the fact that after even a month you still could not find your red bracelet. It was just…gone. It was even weirder to watch Sunghoon walk around with one exactly like it on his wrist, but he had no way of getting it. You had lost it the day you met him. He was rich and very well off. There was no way a man like Park Sunghoon would go through the trouble of stealing a dingy old red string that was close to falling apart any second, it just made no sense.
They still didn’t erase the fact that it was nowhere to be seen, if it weren’t for your very very distracting month at this new job you were certain the absence of itt would drive you absolutely mad.
Finally on what felt like an overwhelmingly long Wednesday you were home, alone in your solitude and you figured if you couldn’t find your red string, you’d be better off looking through the journals your grandmother left you. After the month you’ve had you could use her wisdom right about now.
Your grandmother was your rock growing up, she was basically your mother and your father all rolled into one. You found your grandmother’s journals tucked away, in a small cardboard box in your closet. You hadn’t had the gull to open them since she died. You flipped through the pages one by one, reading all the words she left behind for you.
You hadn’t realized you were crying until a singular tear fell onto the old yellowed pages of the journal leaving a wet stain in its wake. You had missed her, everyday and you knew you would continue to miss her.
The pages your grandmother left you - had been full of advice. Advice about mundane things, like doing laundry or cooking with the best recipes. Some of the advice was more heavy, like what to do in case of a death, or a breakup or when you got married and had children. And some of the advice was also about love, and how she believed that soulmates were real. Tied together by the red string of fate you couldn’t see. When two people were connected solely to each other in all lifetimes. It would be beautiful if it were true. That’s what you always taught yourself. That it was a made up thing that only people in love believed.
You continued to sift through her journal, to the portion where it became a daily write down of what she started doing throughout the days. You flip through the pages, each filled with words written in rich ink, her voice murmuring between the lines. Some entries are small snippets of her days—what she made for dinner, a flower she saw blooming outside, a storm rolling in from the east. Others are longer, winding passages that carry something heavier, something deeper. You read about her dreams, her fears, the love she once had and lost.
Then, a passage catches your eye, and your breath stills. The red string of fate never breaks, it reads. Even if cut, even if frayed, it finds a way to mend itself. There is no fighting destiny when it has set its sights on you. You swallow hard, your fingers tightening around the fragile edge of the paper. Your grandmother always told you about the red string, whispering its legend into your ear as she tucked you into bed. She told you that everyone had a soulmate, a person meant to be tied to them no matter the distance, no matter the circumstances. She had one, she’d said once, a man she loved but lost. But she never spoke of him much beyond that, only that he was real and that she had seen him in ways no one else could.
You continue reading, heart pounding. When you touch them, you will see. A glimpse, a flicker. The universe will reveal what you are meant to know. It will not be loud. It will not be obvious. But it will be there. Because you know exactly what she means. At least you think you did. The memories come flooding back, unbidden. The first time it happened, you were with Sunghoon, It had been fleeting, so quick you almost convinced yourself you imagined it. In his office the day the two of you kissed for the first time. Surely that is unlike what your grandmother was describing right?
But then, you remembered another time, the time you and Sunghoon had sex for the first time at his apartment, when he was deep inside of you, whispering filth into your ear, your vision blurred and overcome with a memory that had never happened before. You had seen a future that had never happened. You saw something that shouldn’t exist. You saw fragments of moments that had no place in your reality. You saw his smile beneath a different sun, heard his voice whispering your name like a prayer, felt an ache in your chest that wasn’t yours but still belonged to you.
You had written it off as nothing. A trick of the mind. The product of exhaustion. But here, in your grandmother’s journal, written in ink that had dried long before you were born, was an answer you never wanted to find. Visions come with touch. You slam the journal shut, chest rising and falling too fast. Your heartbeat roars in your ears. This is ridiculous. This is crazy. You’re not some character in a fairy tale. You don’t believe in soulmates. And even if you did - Even if you did…Sunghoon? It’s impossible. It’s just a coincidence. A trick of your mind. You refuse to entertain anything else.
Your hands tremble as you shove the journals back into the box, your grandmother’s words still lingering in the air. You try to shake them off, but they have already settled deep, weaving themselves into your bones like an undeniable truth. You take a breath and force yourself to move, to step away, to pretend that your heart isn’t beating in a rhythm that spells out a name. Sunghoon. And though you don’t want to, though you tell yourself you won’t - You start to wonder if your grandmother was right all along.
That night, your phone buzzes against the nightstand. The screen illuminates the dark room, casting a soft glow over the journals still left in disarray on the floor. It’s Sunghoon. You stare at his name, your stomach twisting in a way that feels unfamiliar. After everything you read tonight, after the storm brewing inside you, you should let it ring. Let it go to voicemail. Pretend you’re asleep, pretend you’re not affected. But you aren’t strong enough to resist him.
With a sigh, you swipe to answer. "Hey." There’s a pause, then a low chuckle on the other end. "Wow, you actually picked up. Thought I’d have to leave a dramatic voicemail about how I died of boredom without you."
You roll your eyes, but your lips curve despite yourself. "Dramatic and pathetic. I expected nothing less." He hums, his voice warm, lazy. "Guilty. My meetings were dull as hell. Just numbers and more numbers. I was about five minutes away from faking a fire alarm to get out of there." You laugh softly, shaking your head. "You should've done it. Would’ve made the news.
"See, this is why I call you. You always encourage my worst ideas." His tone shifts, something teasing in the way he lingers over the words. A slow smile tugs at your lips before you can help it. "You must really be bored if you’re calling me instead of drinking overpriced whiskey at some networking event."
"Oh, I was bored. But now..." He exhales, slow and deliberate. "Not so much." A shiver traces your spine at the weight in his voice. He isn’t even here, and yet he still manages to reach inside you, find the parts of you that respond so easily to him. You swallow, shifting under the sheets. "Sunghoon—"
"What are you wearing?" It’s sudden, leaving your cheeks a bright red and mouth wide open in shock.
You nearly choke. "Excuse me?"
He laughs, unbothered. "Relax, and tell me. What are you wearing?”
Your face burns, and you glare at the ceiling. "Oh my god."
"What? It’s a totally normal question." He pushes, and you can see that smirk in your head. That smirk that you love so much. "It is not."
“So?” The nonchalance in his voice heats up your body, wishing he was here to satisfy the ache inside of you. You sigh, rubbing your temple. "A tank top and shorts."
There’s a hum of approval on the other end. "Cute. Wish I was there." Your breath hitches, pulse jumping in your throat. This isn’t new. The past few weeks you and Sunghoon have been pushing, teasing, toeing the line between playful and something heavier. But tonight, after everything, the weight of his words feels different. Dangerous.
"I should go to sleep," you say, though the thought of hanging up makes your chest tighten. "Yeah?" He sounds amused. "You tired? Or are you just afraid of where this conversation is going?" Your heart pounds, a war raging inside you. You should shut this down. You should keep your distance. But instead, you whisper, "I’m going to touch myself and think of you while doing it"
A sharp cough was heard over the speaker, then a hum. “You don’t have to go to do that.” He whispers, his voice now husky and low. It sends shivers down your spine and heat down your core. You really really wished he was here. “You can do it, while talking to me.”
“W-what-” You stuttered out, your heart pounding in your chest. Was he suggesting phone sex? And were you seriously considering it? “Don’t leave.” He says and you could almost imagine the laid back smirk on his face, the shrug of his shoulders as if this was nothing, as if he did this all the time. That thought made you feel slightly queasy so you pushed far from your mind.
“Okay..” You said softly. “What do I do?” Your voice was tight, unsure. You only hoped he didn’t notice how nervous you were.
“Have you never done this before?” There was a hint of surprise in his tone, it made you acutely aware of just how inexperienced you are.
“No.” You answered honestly, “Never.”
“Fuck.” Sunghoon cursed on the other end. “That’s hot.” The words had left you dumbfounded, he thought your inexperience was…hot? “Take off your pants.” His voice lowered even more, becoming more husky and rasp. You felt the wetness in your panties already, you didn’t even have to look to know. That was the kind of effect Sunghoon had on you. You had very visceral reactions to him, you couldn’t help it. The man looked like a fucking god, and you did as he said.
You lifted your hips slightly, sliding the pajama shorts you wore off in one fail swoop. “My panties too?-”
“No!” Sunghoon hissed out. You jumped at the urgency in his voice. “No.” He said softer. “Just wait.”
“Okay.” Sunghoon’s breath was a bit faster on the other end of the phone, heavier. You were no idiot, you knew his cock was in his hand, stroking up and down as he told you what to do with yourself. He was just as much a mess as you were, he was just better at hiding it.
“Are you wearing a bra?” He asked with ragged breath. You shook your head “No.” Finding even the smallest word is hard to say. Sunghoon wasn't even here in the flesh and he still managed to take your breath away. Your own breath was ragged as his voice carried every single syllable with a rich sound. His tone captures your attention, shooting straight for your core.
“Circle your clit over your panties, sweetheart.” Sunghoon instructed you. Your hand traveled down the expanse of your body as a small whimper escaped your lips. Your nimble fingers found your wet and waiting bud, rubbing it over your panties creating the most delicious feeling coursing through your veins.
“Nice and slow, okay?” You nod your head even though he can’t see you. A small “uh-huh” escaping your mouth and into the receiver.
“Good girl..keep going.” You continued your slow and torturous rhythm over your clit. It felt good but you needed …more. Your hips rise off the bed as you search for any form of release. Your body was wanting, your moans needy. You knew that Sunghoon was well aware just how badly you needed him. How badly you craved him but this was all you could get, and you’d take it for now.
“How wet are you, baby?” Sunghoon’s breath was even more ragged than before, the tune of his chest heaving serving as a catalyst to your need for. “So wet…” You mewed out the land not on your clit stuck clutching at your bedsheets for dear life. “I need more..”
“Okay, sweetheart..” He cooed with slight amusement. “Pull your panties to the side and stick one; just one finger in..” You hum doing as he instructed with quick precision. The slide of your finger inside of you was potent. You needed this, and although it was not as good as Sunghoon this was certainly second best given the circumstances. “Now move your fingers in and out..slow though.”
“Fuck.” You whined, your hips leaving your bed once again. Your other hand traveled up the side of your body cupping your tit in your palm and squeezing. “I wish I could see you hoon..” You sighed out. Sunghoon’s breathed hitched a soft puff of air leaving his lips like the melody to your favorite song. You’d get drunk on the sounds of his moans if you could, bottle them up and savor every single hum, every single tune.
“I know, baby. I wish I could see you too..” He trailed off. “I know you look so pretty with your fingers stuffed in your pretty little cunt.” His words shot shivers up your spine, your end already nearing. From the sound of his moans and groans it was obvious he was pretty close as well.
“Add another one.” He demanded suddenly. You did as he said, adding another finger roughing moving them in and out of you. “Fucking- i can hear how wet you are from here.”
“I’m so fucking wet-oh god.” Your legs shook your ending near dangerously close. “I’m close-”
“Me too sweetheart keep going.” The only other sound on the other end of the phone was Sunghoon’s grunts and groans as the two of you catapulted to your end, your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave. Pleasure washing over you and blurring your vision.
“Oh my god.” You huffed. Sunghoon’s breathed slowed neither of you saying a word for close to five minutes, just basking in the post orgasm clarity.
“Uh..” Sunghoon breahed over the end of the receiver, his voice back to normal now void of the lustful words he was just muttering to you. “Thanks.” He said. Thanks. “I- i should go. Meeting in the morning.”
“S-sure.” You stuttered out awkwardly. “Goodnight, see you soon.” The two of you hung up and all that was left was the silence of your empty apartment aside from you. You could hear the beating of your own heart in your ears as slow realization started to settle in. You were starting to fall for Sunghoon, like the fool you were.
Sunghoon comes back the next monday, and the moment you see him at the office, all the doubts that had clouded your mind dissolve under the heat of his gaze. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to. but when your eyes meet across the meeting room, a slow, knowing smile curves his lips. That night, it happens again. In his office, door locked, his mouth on yours before you can even drop your bag. Later, in the backseat of his car after a late dinner with the team. Then again the next morning, in your apartment kitchen, the scent of coffee mixing with the sound of your quiet gasps.
You can’t stay away from each other. Every opportunity you have you take it. You fall back into it with him; it's reckless and urgent, as though nothing had changed. But it has. You have. You were falling from him, stupidly so and you didn't know what to do. The visions still come. Stronger now. They strike like lightning, hot and bright; brief, impossible glances into a life that feels half yours. Every time he touches you, it’s there: a home you’ve never seen, a child’s laugh echoing from another world, his hand in yours under unfamiliar stars. And worse, your heart aches for him when he isn’t near. You think about him when you shouldn’t. You crave the sound of his voice, the small way he furrows his brow when he’s deep in thought, the gentle way he tugs your wrist when he wants your attention but can’t say it aloud.
Wonyoung notices. Just like you knew she eventually would, that girl wasn’t dumb she was bound to connect the dots. But like you and Sunghoon agreed. No one could know. Not even her and Jay, who you wanted to tell so badly. She corners you in the lounge one afternoon, her voice low but sharp. "Are you sleeping with Sunghoon?"
You nearly drop your coffee. "What? No. That’s- why would you even ask that?” Deny. deny. deny. no matter what, you have to deny it. She folds her arms. "Because you’ve been weird. Both of you. And don’t even try to lie. You’ve got your guilty face on."
You look away, feigning casual interest in the humming vending machine. "You’re imagining things."
"Jay said Sunghoon’s been acting weird too. Moody. Distracted. Like, smiling during budget meetings." You tried to not let her words fool you. It was strictly about sex with Sunghoon that was all, nothing more nothing less. Him smiling could have been about anything. Sunghoon’s life did not revolve around you, that was for certain. You want to grin at the thought of this being something more, but you're not an idiot. So instead, You snort. "That is suspicious."
She doesn’t laugh. "Come on. I’m not judging you. I just want to know what’s going on. Are you okay?" That question cuts deeper than you expect. Are you okay? You don’t know. Because you can’t tell your best friend that the man you’re sleeping with- the man who is your boss, your complication, is also possibly the person fate tied you to long before you were even born. The man you're falling in love with but is clearly not interested in you that way. You force a smile. "I’m fine. Really."
Wonyoung studies you for a long beat before sighing. "Just… be careful, okay? Whatever this is, don’t lose yourself in it." You nod, but the truth is, it’s already too late. You’re tangled in it. In him. And you don’t know how to find your way out. You felt like you were drowning and you had no one to shout for to help you, to throw you a raft that would save your life.
For times like this you truly missed your grandmother. You missed her wisdom, you missed her comfort. Life truly was not fair. One could even call it cruel to take the one person in this world who understood you most.
That night, you sit alone on your bed, the city’s glow smudged outside your window, the journals beside you once more. You open one with hesitant fingers, seeking your grandmother’s voice like a balm. She would know what to say. She’d tell you to listen to your heart, to trust the quiet truths hidden in touches and dreams. She’d tell you that the red string does not lie, and that love- true love is rarely convenient or safe.
If your heart is confused, it’s because it’s being rewritten, she once wrote. Love doesn’t always ask permission to change us. It simply does. And with Sunghoon, you are changing. Becoming someone softer, someone braver. Someone terrified. You press your fingers to the page and wonder: if she were here now, would she tell you to leap? Or would she warn you to run? You close the journal, and all you can think about is the way he looked at you today. Like he already knew. Like maybe he’s wondering the same thing too.
The call comes at 5:12 AM. Shaking you from your sleep in the dead of night. Your phone buzzes against your nightstand, the shrill sound tearing through the quiet like a blade through silk. The sky outside is still the bruised blue of predawn. You fumble for your phone, blinking blearily at the screen. Mom.
Your breath catches. You haven’t seen her name light up your phone since the day they buried your grandmother. Five years of silence stretched like frost between you, untouched and unthawed. Your thumb hovers. You think of ignoring it. But something in your chest twists; tight, sharp. You have to answer it. Your mother wouldn’t be calling you for no reason. There had to be a reason and it had to be a bad one.
“Hello?” Your voice is husky from sleep still laced in it. Your eyes heavy lidded. There’s a beat of silence. Then her voice, thin and unfamiliar, like wind pressed through a cracked window. “Your father died.” The words hit like a slap, so sudden they leave your mind blank. No preamble. No explanation. Just a raw, stripped-bare truth.
“What?” you whisper. Disbelief seeping into your bones, into your core and through your blood straight to your heart. Your…father…dead? She exhales; soft, almost annoyed. “He had a heart attack. A month ago.” She says it like it was an inconvenience. Like you were some passer-byer in her life. Like you meant very little, nothing. And you should be used to this feeling from her, but you werent. And you didn't think you would still be feeling it when you find out your very own father has died.
The air in your lungs evaporates. “A-a month ago?” You stutter out because it's the only thing you can think to say at the moment.
“We already had the funeral,” she says. “There wasn’t any reason to drag you into it. We didn’t think you’d care.” Each word was like a blow, over and over she didn't let up, didn't let you come up for air. No, she's watching you drown and she doesn't care. The words echo in your skull like a curse.
You sit up slowly, your voice barely there. “You didn’t tell me. You didn’t even call.” There’s a pause, long and uncomfortable. “You made your choice when you left. We didn’t think you wanted anything to do with us anymore.” An unexplainable sorrow seeped into your bones. Your heart dug a grave in your chest, laying in the hollow confines of your chest unmoving, unbreathing as the breath was stolen from your lungs with every word she muttered. With every single careless word she threw at you.
The anger comes in a slow burn, hot and low in your chest. You squeeze your eyes shut, try to breathe through it, but it festers. You had fought for your own life. For the right to step away from the toy shop that had become your parents’ shrine. For the right to be. Your grandmother had understood. She had stood in your corner when no one else would. She raised you while they drowned in their work. She held your hand through your first heartbreak. She showed you how to be soft in a world that tried to harden you. She’s the only one who ever had your back, and even in death that was apparent. And now this.
“I’m still his daughter,” you whisper. “I still had a right to know.” You didn’t know how to argue with her. How to tell her how hurt you were, you weren't even sure she would care if you did. If it was even worth the trouble. “I’m telling you now,” she says, like that counts. Like it erases the month of silence, the funeral you didn’t attend, the grave you didn’t get to stand over. You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to crawl into your grandmother’s lap and let her brush the world out of your hair. But she’s gone. And now your father is, too. Your throat tightens. Your heart aches in places you thought you’d fortified long ago.
The call ends without resolution. Just the dull tone of disconnection. You sit in the dark, staring at nothing, until the light spills slowly across your floor, illuminating dust motes like falling stars. And still, the silence presses in. Not even the city outside dares to speak.
You curl into yourself, as small as you can be, and let the grief take you. Not for the man your father was, but for the chance to make it right. For the words you’ll never get to say. For the goodbye stolen from you like everything else. Somewhere, you hope your grandmother is watching. And you wonder what she would tell you now. Mourn, my love, she’d say. Even if they didn’t love you the way they should have, your heart still deserves to break.
You don’t go to work the next day. Calling in with the guise of being sick. You don’t check your phone, don’t answer the emails stacking themselves like bricks behind the glass of your locked screen. You don’t speak. There’s a silence inside you now that stretches so wide it makes the whole world seem distant, like you're floating somewhere outside of time. Wonyoung calls, Jay calls, even Sunghoon but you don’t answer. You can’t. What would you even say? Hey, I'm mourning the loss of my father who hated me, who didn’t even want me around. My father who loved his toy shop more than his daughter.
You sit by the window as the sun rises, too slow, too cruel. You watch it paint gold on buildings that don’t care you’re hurting. The city hums on without you, cars in motion, people in routine, everything ticking forward as if the foundation of your childhood didn’t just crack clean down the middle. A month. They buried him a month ago. Placed him into the earth like he was already forgotten. You press your forehead to the glass, eyes burning but dry. There are no tears yet. Only the weight. The kind that sits on your chest and makes it hard to breathe.
Your father is dead. Gone in the kind of quiet your family has always been good at. No announcement, no open arms, no room left for the wreckage of feelings. They buried him like a secret. Like he hadn’t raised you, even if poorly. Like he hadn’t once lifted you onto his shoulders to reach the highest shelf of the toy shop. Like he hadn’t once smiled when you built your first little wooden horse beside him, stained your fingers with varnish and paint. You didn’t love him the way daughters are told they should love their fathers. But you tried. You tried even when he didn’t see you, when the only things that ever lit up his eyes were the shelves of handcrafted dolls and tin soldiers.
When you left home, it wasn’t just leaving. It was betrayal in their eyes. You didn’t take over the shop, the pride and joy of your parents’ lives, the beating wooden heart of your bloodline. You chose a different kind of future. One not carved by someone else’s hands. Your own hands, for once in your life you made a decision for yourself and you paid for it. And for that, they stopped speaking to you. But this… this feels like a punishment. Like they wanted to wound you with the silence.
A sob punches through you suddenly, sharp and guttural, like something breaking. You clutch at your chest like you can hold the grief in, but it spills through your fingers anyway, wild and merciless. He’s gone. He’s gone and you didn’t get to say goodbye. Didn’t get to stand by his casket and remember the sound of his laugh, the thunder of his anger, the way his eyes used to flick to the door whenever your grandmother walked into the room. You didn’t get to speak your pain into the air or leave a single flower on the freshly turned earth. You didn’t even get to be a daughter. Just… forgotten. Discarded.
You don’t know how long you cry. The sun shifts, shadows stretch. Somewhere far away, a neighbor plays the radio and someone slams a door. You lie down on the hardwood floor, cheek pressed to the cold wood, your body curled inwards like you’re trying to become small enough to slip into a memory. Your grandmother would’ve wrapped you in a quilt by now. She would’ve brewed you chamomile tea and said, “Let yourself grieve. He was your father, even if he was flawed.” She would’ve let you rage. Would’ve held your hand and said the things no one else dared to say. Like, “It wasn’t your fault you needed to leave.” Or maybe even, “He should’ve told you he loved you before it was too late.” You whisper to the silence around you: “Why didn’t he call me?”
No answer. Only the echo of your breath and the trembling pulse of your heart, mourning not just him—but the version of you that still hoped he might reach out one day. That little girl who waited, and waited, and waited for him to choose her. Now she knows he never will. You reach for your grandmother’s journal again, fingers slow and reverent. You find a passage you hadn’t noticed before, dated the winter before she passed.
Loss is a winter that never fully thaws, she wrote. But love, my darling, love is what wraps the frost in color. You close your eyes. And for a moment, you can almost feel her hands on your shoulders, warm and certain.
You don’t remember falling asleep. Only the brittle stillness of morning, cracked open by the weight behind your ribs. You don’t know how he knew. Maybe Wonyoung told him something. Maybe your absence stretched too long, and your silence- your complete vanishing sounded different than usual. Maybe he could just feel it in the marrow of his bones the way animals feel the turn of the weather. But sometime just after noon, there’s a knock at your door. Firm. Measured. Familiar. You don’t move. Not at first. You sit there on the floor, wrapped in a blanket that doesn’t warm you, your hair tangled and your body still sore from the way grief wrings a person out from the inside. The knock comes again. Then his voice- low, steady, laced with something that makes your throat tighten.
“Y/N, open the door.” Sunghoon. Of course it’s him. You stand slowly, like your body no longer belongs to you, like every movement is a question you’re not sure you want answered. You reach the door, place your hand against it, feel the hum of him on the other side like a ghost pressed to your skin.
“Go away.” You whisper with all the strength you could muster. Which was not much, if any at all. A pause. “I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.”
You laugh, sharp and small and broken. “Too late for that.”
“Then let me in.” His voice is softer this time. It tugs at something inside you, something raw and already unraveling. But you don’t move. You can’t. Because if you see him…if you see those eyes, if he looks at you like you mean something, if he touches you- you’re afraid the dam will break. “Please,” he says.
You open the door. And the storm begins. He steps in like he always does, like this is still whatever tangled thing you’ve been pretending it is. You hate how relieved he looks just to see you. You hate that his presence does soothe something in you, even now, when everything in your world has come undone. “What’s going on?” he asks, his brow furrowed. “You disappeared.”
“I’m fine,” you lie. Because it’s the only thing you can do. You can’t burden him with your problems, you can't bear to bother him. “No, you’re not.” He steps closer, and that’s when you snap.
“Don’t,” you hiss, stepping back like he burned you. “Don’t pretend to care now.” You can feel the resolve of what's left of your life snapping, like the cliff you were holding onto with the tip of your finger was finally crumbling, eventually sending you hurtling to the ground at your demise. And you welcomed it, you didn't brace for the fall. Instead you held your hands out and allowed the wind to hit you face.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He’s defensive, understandably so.
Your voice rises before you can stop it, rage surging like fire through dry grass. “It means this- whatever this is, it’s not real, right? You don’t get to show up and act like I matter just because you haven’t gotten your fix in a few days.” You spit the words out with malice, ash on your tongue.
Sunghoon blinks, taken aback. “That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” You laugh, wild and bitter. “You think any of this is fair?” You’re crying now, tears you can’t stop, salt water spilling like grief is trying to pour out of you any way it can. You want to hurt the way you hurt, you want to destroy anything good in your life.
“I’ve been walking around pretending I don’t feel anything. Pretending this was just sex. Just tension. Just bad timing. But I do feel something, Sunghoon. I feel everything, and I can’t- I can’t keep pretending.” He opens his mouth, but you cut him off, voice trembling like a bridge about to collapse. And collapse it does. “I love you.”
Silence. Pure and utter silence. A silence you could go crazy in. A silence so loud you want to cup your hands over your ears and scream. You had never known a love like this. It was fierce and intense. it grabbed a hold of your heart like the constraints of a snake and never let it go. it swallowed your entire being, your entire soul. This love hurt.
“I don’t,” he says. Two words. Clean. Precise. A scalpel to the chest. You stare at him like you don’t recognize him. Like the person who just spoke isn’t the one who touched you like you were something sacred. Who kissed you like you were air and he’d been drowning.
“I never meant to lead you on,” he says, not meeting your eyes. “It just… got out of hand. This was a mistake. It was always going to be a mistake.” You want to scream. You want to throw something, tear the sky in half, bury yourself in the quiet dark where no one can find you again. Instead, your voice turns hollow. Cold. Like the ice seeping through your veins and freezing your heart.
“Get out.”
“Y/N—”
“Get out.”
He hesitates. But then he nods. Quiet. Like the coward he suddenly is. And just like that, he leaves. The door closes behind him with a finality that feels like a tomb sealing shut. You don’t collapse this time. You stay standing. But it hurts more. Somehow, it always does.
You wander back into the room like a ghost, like someone newly haunted. You grab your grandmother’s journal again, flipping through the pages with trembling fingers, searching for the red string passage like it might come alive and wrap itself around your hand and drag you back to the truth. But all you see is ink. All you see are lies.
Soulmates are real.You’ll know when you touch them.The universe will show you.
Lies. Because you touched him. And what did the universe show you?
A fool. You saw yourself as a fool, lit up in a soft glow, believing in something that never believed in you. You close the book slowly, your hands gentle this time. Like you’re mourning something more than a love lost. Like you’re mourning magic itself. If the red string exists, it’s tangled around your neck. Tight. Suffocating. Useless. You stare at the ceiling until your vision blurs. Until the world goes quiet again. You don’t know if you’ll ever believe in soulmates. You don’t know if you’ll ever believe in anything at all.
You don’t quit; though the thought slips across your mind like a blade held lightly between your teeth. Instead, you do what you’ve always done: you fold the pain into neat corners and tuck it behind your ribs. You wear your silence like armor, sharp and impenetrable. You show up to the office with eyes hollowed by sleepless nights and lips pressed into a line so thin it might vanish entirely. And you avoid Sunghoon like he’s the epicenter of the earthquake still rattling your bones. Because he is.
You stop taking the elevator if you think he’s in it. You pretend to be deep in work when he walks by. You leave meetings the second they end, ducking out before his eyes can find yours. But he notices. Oh, he notices. And like a cruel twist of fate, he doesn’t leave you alone. No, instead he becomes worse. Sharper. Colder. Crueler in the way only someone who once knew your soft parts can be.
“This is what you call a concept?” he says one morning, tossing your latest mock-up onto the conference table like it burned him to hold it. “Are you even trying?” You flinch. Wonyoung shoots you a look across the table, brows raised in alarm. Jay shifts uncomfortably, eyes flicking between you and your boss like he’s watching a scene unfold he was never meant to witness. “I thought it captured the essence of—”
“It’s flat,” Sunghoon interrupts. “Lifeless. If this is what you think the cover should look like, then maybe you’re in the wrong department.” The words land with the precision of gunfire. You nod once, slowly. Quietly. Swallowing everything you want to scream. The meeting ends, and you make it all the way back to your desk before the tears spill. Silent, shaking, defiant. You tell yourself to hold it together. But your hands won’t stop trembling, your heart won’t stop pounding.
Wonyoung finds you in the bathroom twenty minutes later, sitting on the tile with your knees pulled to your chest, mascara smudged like bruises beneath your eyes. “Y/N,” she breathes, crouching down beside you. “What’s going on?” You want to lie. To say it’s the pressure. That 's the deadline. That it’s anything other than what it is. But your heart’s a dam that’s already cracked open, and the truth rushes out in a flood.
“You were right,” you whisper, your voice small and trembling. “About me and Sunghoon.” She blinks. “You mean…?”
You nod, staring at the grout lines between the tiles like they might save you. “We’ve been sleeping together. For awhile now” She doesn’t say anything right away. Just sits beside you, quiet, letting the weight of it settle in the space between your words. “And I fell in love with him,” you choke, voice cracking like glass under pressure. “God, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to. But I did. I fell in love with someone who sees me as a mistake.”
Wonyoung’s expression softens with a tenderness that only true friendship can bring. She reaches for your hand, warm fingers wrapping around your cold ones. “I thought I could handle it,” you say. “I thought I could keep it casual. But then I started seeing him in everything. In every future I imagined. And then… he just—”
“Shut you out,” she finishes softly. You nod. Tears fall again, heavier this time. “He told me he didn’t love me. That it was a mistake. And now he’s punishing me for feeling anything at all.” Wonyoung doesn’t speak for a long moment. She just holds your hand, grounding you. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” she says eventually, voice gentle but fierce. “You loved someone. You trusted him with that. That’s not weakness- that’s bravery.”
You shake your head. “It doesn’t feel brave. It feels pathetic.”
“It’s not,” she insists. “He’s the one who should feel ashamed. Not you.” The silence that follows is soft, heavy. But for the first time in days, it doesn’t feel suffocating. “I don’t think I believe in soulmates anymore,” you whisper, more to yourself than to her. “All that red string stuff my grandmother used to talk about… I thought maybe, just maybe it was real. But it’s not. It can’t be.”
Wonyoung doesn’t argue. She just rubs slow circles into the back of your hand, her presence a balm on skin still burning. Later, when you wash your face and force yourself back into the office, the world doesn’t look different. Sunghoon is still a shadow at the edge of your vision. The emails still pile up. The coffee still tastes like nothing. But something in you has cracked open and not just in pain. In truth. In the slow, aching beginning of letting go.
The office is quiet at night, humming only with the low whir of overhead lights and the distant tapping of your keyboard. You’ve buried yourself in work like it’s a lifeline diving into layouts, moodboards, and concept notes with the kind of intensity reserved for those desperate to feel anything but what’s clawing at their chest.
Today is a heavy day. A quietly suffocating one. Five years since your grandmother’s heart stopped beating. One month and change since your father’s did too. You didn’t tell anyone. Not Wonyoung. Not Jay. Certainly not Sunghoon. You just kept your head down and drowned in deadlines. So when the receptionist calls Sunghoon’s line to tell him there’s a flower delivery for you- late-night, unexpected; he frowns.
“Who the hell is sending flowers to Y/N at this hour?” he mutters. And he goes down to get them himself. His jaw is tight the entire elevator ride, fury swelling like a storm behind his eyes. By the time he’s back on your floor, bouquet in hand, the smell of white lilies and soft garden roses clogs his senses like betrayal. He doesn’t knock. He slams the door open so hard the hinge screams. You jump, startled, spinning around in your chair.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” you gasp. But he doesn’t answer. He throws the flowers onto your desk like they’ve poisoned him. “So that’s it?” he snaps. “You’re already moving on?”
You stare at him, stunned. “What?” He points to the bouquet like it’s a smoking gun. “I just told you this was a mistake. That we should stop. And not even a week later, you’re already entertaining some new guy? Jesus, Y/N.”
Your voice sharpens. “They’re from Chaewon.”
“Who the fuck is Chaewon?”
“My childhood friend,” you say through clenched teeth. “My best friend since I was five. She sends me flowers every year on this day.” He blinks, momentarily thrown off. You rise to your feet, slowly, deliberately, and something in your expression must shift because he goes still. “Today is the five-year anniversary of my grandmother’s death,” you say quietly. “And the one-month mark since my father died. A death I wasn’t even told about until weeks later.” His lips part slightly, but no sound comes out.
“I’ve been holding myself together with frayed thread,” you go on, your voice trembling now. “I’ve been pushing through grief so heavy it’s crushed every part of me. And you- you come in here, spewing accusations and calling me names, because your ego can’t handle the idea that I might be wanted by someone else?”
You laugh, bitter and breathless. “I loved you, Sunghoon,” you say. “God help me, I did. I still do. Even after everything. But you humiliated me. You used me and then blamed me for having feelings. And now you have the audacity to show up here and call me a whore for getting flowers from my best friend?”
You shove the card toward him, your fingers shaking. He reads it. And his face falls. “Y/N,” he says softly. “I didn’t—”
“No,” you cut him off. “You don’t get to apologize now. You don’t get to regret it just because you misread the situation. You made yourself clear you don’t feel the same. You said it was a mistake. And I believed you.” He stands there, frozen, hands limp at his sides, the tension between you coiled so tightly it might snap the air in two. You stare at him for a long moment. Then your voice drops, quieter, sadder. “My grandmother used to tell me soulmates were real. She believed in fate. In red strings and destined touch. I used to believe her.”
You pick up the flowers, holding them gently. “But now I think soulmates are a myth we tell ourselves to feel less alone. And I’m done chasing ghosts.” You turn back to your screen, the cursor blinking like a pulse, pretending your soul didn’t just crack in half in front of him. You expect the door to shut. Expect his retreat. But it doesn’t come. Instead, silence stretches behind you. Dense. Breathless. Charged. You feel Sunghoon’s eyes on you, like he doesn't know what to say but he wants, no needs to say something.
You wished he didn’t. You wished he would walk out that door so you can continue to cry where he can’t see you. Where you can feel ashamed and embarrassed outside of his prying eyes.
“I’m not leaving.” You freeze. Your breath catches, like the pause before a sob. “I was going to,” Sunghoon says, voice low, rough. “I was halfway out the door, but… I couldn’t do it.” You don’t turn around. Can’t. You’re too full of salt and sorrow and the ghosts of people who should still be breathing. He takes a tentative step closer. And you wince.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “That was cruel. What I said- what I called you. I didn’t mean it. I just… I panicked.” You laugh under your breath, bitter. “Panicked because someone sent me flowers?”
“No, well-yes.” He says truthfully. “I don’t know how to handle this,” he continues. “You… you scare the shit out of me, Y/N.” You finally look at him. And what you see on his face is not arrogance. Not ego. It’s a boy standing barefoot in a storm, trying to keep the wind from pulling everything he loves out of his hands.
“I’ve never told anyone this,” he says. “Not even Jay. But my grandfather died three years ago. Right before I got hired”
You blink, caught off guard. “You never mentioned—”
“We weren’t close. Not for most of my life,” he admits. “But toward the end, when his memory started slipping, he talked about her. This woman he met when he was young. Said she was the love of his life. But he never got the timing right. Always one step too late.”
Something in your chest goes very still.
“The day he died, he gave me this.” He pulls up the sleeve of his coat, pointing to the red bracelet, completely identical to your missing one. “He said it belonged to her. The woman he never stopped loving.”
You reach out without thinking, your fingers brushing against the red string. “My grandmother,” you whisper, heart pounding like thunder behind your ribs. “She had a story too. She used to tell me about this boy she loved in her youth. They lost each other. She never told me his name. Just that he left, and she never stopped waiting.” Sunghoon’s breath catches. “What was her name?”
“Eunju.” His eyes close. “That’s her,” he says. “That’s the name.”
The room shifts. Time folds inward. And suddenly, you’re not two people standing in an office under flickering fluorescent light. You’re the echo of two others who once stood on the edge of a different beginning. Souls that never found their way back- until now. “I don’t even know what this means,” you whisper. “But it feels like something bigger than us.”
“It does,” he says, voice barely more than breath. “And it scares the hell out of me.” Your eyes sting. “Then why did you push me away?” you ask. “Why did you say it was a mistake?” His gaze drops, heavy with guilt.
“Because I’ve never had something I didn’t know how to ruin. And you… you’re not something I could just forget after. You were never just sex, Y/N. You were the first thing that made me feel human in a long time. And I didn’t know what to do with that.” You’re quiet for a long moment.
“Say it,” you whisper. “Say how you feel. Stop hiding behind fear.” You’ve had enough of the hiding of the fear. You needed to hear him say it out loud. You weren’t asking him to shout to the rooftops or brag about to everyone he knows but you needed that confirmation, or it wouldn’t feel real. Whatever you two learned about each other wouldn't feel real until he said the one thing you needed to hear from him. “I have feelings for you,” he says, the words breaking from him like waves on rocks. “Too many. And I don’t know how to carry them without dropping them at your feet and praying you don’t run.”
Your throat closes up. Emotion wells like a tide, like a wound too long ignored. “You think I haven’t been carrying them too?” you say, stepping closer. “You think I haven’t been trying to rip you out of my heart every time you looked at me like I was just something easy to forget?”
He flinches. “I never looked at you like that.”
“Then why did you pretend this meant nothing?”
“Because I’m not good at this. Because I didn’t want to break you.”
“You did anyway.” The silence that follows is heavy, but not empty. It hums with unfinished truths and fragile hope. “I’m sorry,” he says again. “For every time I let my fear speak louder than my heart.” As you look at the bracelet on his wrist and feel your grandmother’s love lingering like smoke around your shoulders, you can’t help but wonder if some love stories are meant to be rewritten. Not with new words- but with new hands. Hands that aren’t afraid anymore. Hands that are willing to try.
You decide to try.
It isn’t some cinematic confession, no fireworks or strings or sweeping score. It’s quieter than that. It lives in the way he brushes your hair back from your face like you’re something fragile he’s learning how to hold. It lives in the way you don’t flinch this time when his arms wrap around you like an anchor. Neither of you says this is love - not yet. But you say: I want to try. And that is more than enough. The night unspools between you slow and warm, like honey melting down the edge of a glass. Sunghoon kisses you like he’s never tasted something real before. His touch is different now - not just hungry, but reverent, as if every inch of you holds secrets he’s finally ready to hear. He takes you to his apartment, carefully peeling away at you, layer by layer and you let him. You revel in the feeling.
You fall into each other like waves crashing in a quiet tide. His hands roam your skin like they’re mapping a route back home. He whispers your name into your mouth like a promise, like an apology, like an offering. And when it’s over, when you’re tangled in each other’s limbs, skin still glowing from the heat of it all, he doesn't move away. Instead, he lifts you gently, carries you to the bathroom with soft steps and softer eyes. The bath is already running, steam curling up toward the ceiling like incense smoke. He lowers you into the water first, then slips in behind you, his arms coiled around your waist, his chest a steady drumbeat against your back.
for a while, you just sit in silence, water lapping around you, time slowing to a heartbeat. Then it hits. Not like the others- not a flicker, not a shimmer behind your eyes. This time, it’s a storm. You’re no longer in the bathtub. The warm water is gone. Sunghoon’s arms are gone. You're being wheeled through sterile hallways bathed in fluorescent white. The lights above you strobe like lightning, blinding and sharp. Your chest is tight, your vision blurry. You hear voices; clipped, urgent. “She’s crashing—get the crash cart—”
“BP dropping—move—” Hushed but urgent ringing in your ears.
“Miss? Can you hear me?” Your body feels too heavy, your limbs suspended between planes. You're trying to speak. Your lips move but your voice is paper-thin. “Where’s… Sunghoon?” you murmur. “Please… tell him I—” And then; Darkness. Complete darkness. The memory rips away as fast as it came, and suddenly you're back in the bath, water sloshing against the sides. Your breath is caught in your throat, your heart galloping like it’s trying to outrun something it hasn’t even seen yet.
Sunghoon notices instantly. “Hey—” he sits up straighter behind you, arms tightening. “You okay?” You nod, too fast. “Yeah. Yeah, I just… got dizzy for a second.” He doesn’t push. Just smooths his hands along your arms, grounding you. But inside, your mind is spinning. That wasn’t just a flashback. It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like something you hadn’t lived yet. Like a prelude to pain. A warning sealed inside your bones. It felt so real and raw, the pain you felt lying on that bed was real, until it wasn’t.
And it came now, when you were warm, when you were loved, when your body was finally held like a prayer and not a battlefield. The world shifts under your skin. But you swallow it down. For now, you lean back into him, trying to chase comfort, to drown out the tremble in your spine. His lips press to your shoulder, slow and unknowing. You don’t tell him what you saw. Not yet. Because the moment is still soft. The red thread is still stitching you both closer. And whatever that flash was… it can wait. The heart, after all, can only carry so much weight at once. And tonight all you wanted to be was in love.
Something shifts after that night; gently, like the seasons turning without permission. Not a dramatic tilt, not a bolt of lightning, just a hush in the way the world begins to hold its breath when the two of you are in the same room. You and Sunghoon begin working on the project again. A visual campaign wrapped in pastel chaos and sharp, defiant edges. But this time, it’s different. The air between you hums with something alive, something unspoken, something tender. You sit beside him at the long conference table, your laptops open, coffee cups sweating, and you find yourself stealing glances when you think he won’t notice. Except… he always does. And he smiles. That smile you were beginning to love more and more everyday.
Those soft, rare smiles that melt in the corners of his mouth like sugar. He doesn’t say much in the meetings, still the same gruff, perfectionist Sunghoon who eyes fonts like they’ve insulted him personally but now, there’s a warmth beneath it all. A hand that finds yours under the table. A look that lingers just a beat too long when you laugh. “You two,” Wonyoung says one afternoon, flicking her pen dramatically in your direction, “are not as subtle as you think.”
You freeze. So does Sunghoon. Jay, across the room, just snorts and mutters, “Took them long enough.” But that’s it. That’s all they say. There’s no big reveal, no confrontation, just a collective decision to let it be. To let this new, fragile thing you’re growing unfold on its own.
And unfold it does. There’s a rhythm now. A cadence. Mornings that begin with Sunghoon brushing his knuckles across your cheek while you’re still half-asleep, his tie hanging loose, the scent of cinnamon toast curling in from the kitchen. Lunchtimes filled with casual touches, a hand grazing your back, fingers brushing yours as he passes you a folder. Evenings spent buried in mood boards and color palettes and sketches, your bodies leaning closer and closer until work becomes the excuse to stay near. And even longer evenings spent between the sheets wrapped up in one another.
You catch him drawing you once. Not on purpose. It’s a rough doodle on the side of his notes, half-shadowed in graphite, your profile rendered in a way that makes your breath catch. “Is that me?” you ask, teasing.
He doesn’t deny it. Just shrugs, eyes still on his screen. “It’s habit now.” There’s a softness to it all. A lullaby woven into the mundane. The kind of romance that grows in the quiet in the brushing of hands as you reach for the same pen, in the way he starts memorizing your coffee order without ever asking, in the long stares across the office when he thinks no one’s looking. But you’re always looking. And falling. Falling deeper every day.
One night, you stay late, the others long gone and it’s just you and Sunghoon at the office, the windows reflecting the golden haze of the city outside. You’re both reviewing final edits, shoulders brushing every so often. He’s mid-sentence, talking about lighting contrast, when he glances over and stops. “What?” you ask, heart fluttering. He stares for a moment longer, then says, almost reverent, “You’re beautiful.” The words are simple. But the way he says them- like they’re sacred, like they’re truth — makes you feel like the whole world paused to let them echo.
You kiss him. There, in the fading light, paper scattered like fallen petals around you, hearts pressed too close to pretend you’re still pretending. And maybe it’s too soon. Maybe it’s foolish. But you can’t help it. With Sunghoon, love doesn’t feel like falling. You weren’t afraid to keep falling in love.
Soon, you were doing things outside of work and his or your apartment. Soon you were going on dates and even double dates with Wonyoung and Jay. You forgot all about the red bracelet you were still missing and the fact that the father who didn't really care for you was dead, you forgot that the project was most likely going to fail and there was nothing you could do about it. All you knew was that even if it did, you would have Sunghoon in your corner as your support, defending you and himself as he should.
It was a Saturday night and Wonyoung and Jay wanted to go out. Bowling, you couldn’t pass it up. The bowling alley glows in soft retro neon, half bathed in violet and seafoam, the kind of lighting that feels a little bit like a dream. The air hums with pop music and the sound of pins clattering against waxed wood, laughter curling from every direction like it’s something you can breathe in. You’re leaning against the plastic bench seating in lane thirteen, watching Wonyoung do a celebratory spin after knocking down seven pins. Her oversized sweatshirt flutters like a cape behind her, and Jay’s clapping like she just won a gold medal.
"Did you see that curve?" she gasps, strutting back like she’s on a runway. “I think I was a bowling prodigy in another life.”
“You didn’t get a strike,” Jay deadpans, but the smile tugging at his lips betrays him. He kisses her cheek anyway. You’re laughing when Sunghoon comes back from the snack counter with a tray balanced in one hand; two sodas, a tub of buttery popcorn, and a red-and-white-striped basket of chili cheese fries that smells dangerously good. “Is this a date or an artery-clogging death wish?” you tease, taking a fry and popping it into your mouth.
He shrugs, setting the tray down beside you. “Both.” You roll your eyes but your heart flutters anyway, that strange, silly way it always does around him now. Soft and full and entirely too much.
“Alright, your turn, lovebirds,” Wonyoung sing-songs, tossing you a ball with sparkly green nail polish. “Let’s see who’s the real athlete here.” Sunghoon stands, cracking his neck with exaggerated drama. “Prepare to be humbled.”
You snort. “Please. You design magazine covers for a living.”
“And I still have better hand-eye coordination than Jay.”
“Hey!” Jay protests from his seat, a fry halfway to his mouth. “Unnecessary.” Sunghoon picks up his bowling ball- matte black, naturally, because of course he’d pick the most intimidating one, and lines up his shot. You lean over to Wonyoung as he takes his stance. “Ten bucks says he slips.”
“No bet,” she whispers. “He’s definitely slipping.” He doesn’t. The ball sails down the lane like it was born to. Not quite a strike, but a noble nine. Still, he spins around with that smug little smirk that makes you want to punch and kiss him at the same time.
“I’m waiting,” he says, arms out.
“For what?”
“My praise.” You cock an eyebrow, grabbing your own ball, a bright lilac with sparkles, completely your vibe. “You’ll get it when you earn it.”
“Oh, it’s like that?” He teased. You give him a grin over your shoulder as you walk to the lane. “It’s always like that.” Your throw goes a little off. You get five pins and one tragically rogue ball but you raise your arms like you just conquered Everest anyway. Jay and Wonyoung cheer you on, loud and dramatic, and you blow a kiss in their direction before sliding back into the booth beside Sunghoon. He passes you a soda, his fingers brushing yours, and leans in close enough that your shoulders touch. “You’re terrible at this.”
“And yet, I still look amazing doing it.” He smirks, his voice low. “That’s true.” You nudge his shoulder with yours. “You’re flirting.”
“You make it easy.”
The game winds on like that, playful insults and bad technique, shared bites of fries, the occasional high-five that turns into hand-holding when no one’s looking. Wonyoung sings along too loudly to every song that comes on. Jay takes the bowling way too seriously and actually tries to calculate his win percentage. Sunghoon teases everyone and somehow still ends up doing the scoreboard. But more than that- it’s easy. It’s fun. The kind of fun that fills your chest like helium and makes your laugh louder, your smile wider. The kind of fun that doesn’t ask for anything in return. There’s a moment, near the end of the night, when you catch Sunghoon looking at you, really looking. His head tilted, mouth soft, eyes full of something that makes your whole soul ache.
He doesn’t say anything. Just reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. And maybe now… it is. You lean into his side, just a little, and let the night wrap around you like a warm, flickering blanket. Neon lights, greasy food, too-loud laughter. All of it stitched with something golden and glowing. It isn’t perfect. But it’s yours. And right now, that’s more than enough.
The ice rink is quieter than you expected, nestled between city buildings like a secret. The lights above the ice are dim and golden, soft like early morning sun through lace curtains. There are just a few people gliding across the surface, laughter echoing like bells in the cold air, the kind of sound that makes your chest ache in the best way. You tug your scarf tighter, breath fogging the air in front of you. “You’re really serious about this?” you ask, eyeing the ice with no small amount of suspicion.
Sunghoon just grins, crouched down to lace up his skates like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Dead serious.”
“I’ve never done this before,” you warn. “I know,” he says, standing up with a grace that makes your stomach flip. He’s already taller than you, but on skates he looks like something carved out of winter. Long lines and quiet confidence, something familiar and dazzling all at once. You wobble when you stand, arms flailing until he catches you. His hands find your waist, steady and warm, and you glare at him, breathless.
“This was your plan all along,” you mutter. “To watch me fall on my ass.” He leans in close, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe. But I’ll catch you every time.” Your heart doesn’t know how to handle that, so you look away. The first few minutes are exactly as humiliating as you expected. You cling to the railing like it’s a lifeline, feet sliding in every direction. Sunghoon skates backward in front of you with ridiculous ease, hands out like he’s luring a stray cat.
“Come on,” he says, voice gentle. “Just one step.”
“I am stepping! I’m also dying.”
“You’re not dying.”
“I could be.” He laughs, the kind of laugh that hits you in the ribs, bright and full of something that feels like home. He skates up beside you, takes your hand in his without asking. “I’ve got you,” he says. “Always.” Somehow, you believe him. With him guiding you, it gets easier. Your legs stop shaking so much. Your fingers don’t cling as tightly. He teaches you how to glide, how to bend your knees, how to fall safely, which you do, spectacularly, three times in a row. But he never lets go. Not once.
And when you’re finally coasting across the rink on your own - a little wobbly, a little wild, but free, he cheers for you like you’ve just won gold. You laugh until your cheeks hurt. “Okay,” you say, breathless. “How are you this good at skating?”
He shrugs, suddenly shy. “I used to want to be a figure skater when I was a kid.”
Your eyes widen. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. I’d watch competitions on TV and try to copy the spins in my kitchen.” He glances down at the ice, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “It felt like flying.” You skate closer to him, heart aching at the softness in his voice. “Why didn’t you keep doing it?”
He looks up, and there’s something a little broken in his smile. “My parents didn’t think it was practical. I let it go.” You reach for his hand. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not. Not anymore. I still skate sometimes, on nights when I can’t sleep. It reminds me of who I was before the world got too loud.” The air between you shimmers, cold but not empty. Full of things unspoken, things that have been building since the moment you met him. It’s in the way he looks at you now, eyes wide and vulnerable, like he’s waiting for something he’s not sure he deserves. And maybe… maybe you’re ready to give it.
You skate backward a little, still holding his hand. “Sunghoon?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” It’s a whisper, but it echoes louder than anything else. The kind of truth that makes the world slow down. His eyes go wide. He stops moving.
“I didn’t mean to,” you say quickly, breath shaking. “I didn’t plan it. But somewhere between fighting with you and falling on my face, I—” Your voice catches. “I just did. And I know we said we’d take it slow, but I'm ready, this is it for me, You are.” For a moment, the only sound is the scrape of skates on ice and your heart beating like it’s trying to break out of your chest. Then he steps toward you.
“Say it again,” he whispers. Your throat tightens. “I love you.” And then he’s kissing you, right there on the ice, hands on your face, lips cold and sweet and desperate. The kiss is slow but trembling, like the both of you are trying not to fall apart, trying to hold onto the feeling as long as you can. When he pulls back, his voice is rough and full of awe.
“I love you too.” Your breath catches. “I didn’t want to,” he admits. “I was so scared to let this become real. But it did. And I’m not going to pretend it didn’t.”
You smile, eyes stinging. “So what does this mean?” He presses his forehead to yours. “It means we’re official. As of right now.”
Your laughter turns into a sob halfway through, and he kisses it away, holding you in the middle of the ice like the world has narrowed down to just this. Just you and him and this quiet, golden moment where everything feels right. When the lights begin to dim for closing time, he skates you one last circle around the rink, holding your hand the whole time. And in that frozen orbit, beneath stars too distant to touch, you fall in love all over again.
That night Sunghoon takes his time with you, soaking in the smell and feel of your skin against his. It’s not hard and rough like you’re used to, it’s soft like the pillowy feeling of being on cloud nine. It was tender and it made you alight with pure happiness. You had not known happiness like this for such a long time. You were beginning to feel like he was sent to you. That your grandmother knew you needed someone to fill her void.
And Sunghoon didn't just fill that void, he lit it ablaze, lighting a candle inside of you and setting your heart on fire with need for him. Not just sexually but spiritually.
Sunghoon whispered soft and quiet i love you’s against your skin as you sat atop him, connected as one. He held your hand as he slowly pushed into you over and over again. He drank in your moans while simultaneously spilling his own. This was love, and it did not hurt this time. It felt good. You were high on this love, addicted to the rush, and you never wanted to let that go.
“Does that feel good, baby?” He breathed against your ear, his breath harsh. “Tell me how good it feels.”
“So-good.” You whined, legs to your chest as Sunghoon took his time with you, reaching unbelievable places inside of you. “Don’t stop-” Tears welled in your eyes threatening to spill over. “Please don’t-”
“Never.” He cooed. Sunghoon sank his face down to yours, kissing at the apples of your cheeks and whisking away the tears falling from your eyes. “I’ll never stop loving you.” Your sob rang through the room, along with the sound of his skin hitting yours. But it was not a sob of sadness, you did not cry of despair. The emotions coursing through you were simply too heavy, too much. It catapulted you to your already awaiting orgasm. It ripped through you like a storm, creating chaos in your mind. You welcomed it.
Sunghoon followed suit. His head tipped back, eyes screwed shut and lips slightly agape. He was the most beautiful person you had ever seen. Even more so than the day you first met him, staring up at him with wide eyes on that dirty sidewalk. This was it, he was it.
The next few weeks continued to pass by in a blur. Days in the office no longer felt long. You, Sunghoon, Wonyoung and Jay became a proper team creating the most perfect cover that Suyu could not even hate if she tried. It was the perfect mesh of everything her and her other members claimed to want. You don’t know if you were saying this out of bias or not but it looked pretty damn perfect to you.
“Knowing Suyu, she’ll find something to hate about it.” Wonyoung says with the roll of her eyes, two afternoons before the big presentation is supposed to happen. “That girl is never happy.”
“She’ll only be happy if Sunghoon agrees to go on a date with.” Jay snorts from his end of the table in the very big conference room the four of you occupied. You’ve decided to ditch the cubicles and work in conference rooms together for my cohesion. It seemed it was working in your favor.
“Not happening.” Sunghoon said, typing away, not even looking up. You snort a little laugh, shaking your head. “Over my dead body.”
“Rawr, Y/N” Wonyoung snickered. “Didn’t know you were so possessive.” Your cheeks heat in slight embarrassment looking down at your paper to hide away from their prying eyes.
“It’s hot.” Sunghoon mused, your head shot up, shocked at his open candor. Although Jay and Wonyoung were very much aware of your relationship, Sunghoon tended to keep the PDA away from the office. Sunghoon sent a knowing smirk your way. A way to tell you he knew exactly what he was doing to you, and he liked it.
“I didn’t know you were such a romantic Park Sunghoon.” You flirted back sending him a small smile that you knew would drive him absolutely mad.
“for you i’d be anything baby.” Wonyoung’s grunt of disgust broke the flirting fest the two of you were having.
“Spare us all.” She complained, but still there was a small smirk on her face. One that said she really wasn’t all that bothered by the two of you. She loved it.
You laugh, light and airy like you felt in that moment. “Like you and Jay aren’t always on top of eachother all the time.”
“We do n-”
“Yes, we do.” Jay interrupts before she could utter another word. “I don’t mind, they’re in love. Let them flirt, Won.”
“Yeah..” Sunghoon trails. His eyes on yours “We are.”
The morning of the presentation rises with a golden hush, sunlight sifting through your curtains like powdered gold. It spills over the sheets, over his bare back, tracing the ridges of muscle and the delicate rise and fall of his breath. The room smells like skin and sleep, like warmth you’ve grown used to waking beside. Sunghoon stirs, eyes fluttering open, and he finds you already looking at him. His lips curl into a sleepy smile. “You watching me again?”
“Always,” you whisper, your voice still threaded with dreams. He reaches out and pulls you into him, your legs tangling effortlessly. There’s a peacefulness to it, a kind of calm you didn’t think you’d ever get to have. You don’t speak for a while. Just lie there, breathing together in sync, the calm before the storm. The presentation is in a few hours, the culmination of months of ideas and revisions, of whispered meetings and sparks behind locked office doors. But none of that matters right now not when he kisses your shoulder like he’s promising you forever in silence.
The world tilts.
Your breath catches. Your eyes glaze. And the room falls away in one cruel sweep. In its place is sterile white. Bright, blinding. The kind of light that doesn’t bring warmth, only fear. You’re standing in a hospital corridor, the walls humming with fluorescent dread. Nurses rush past you, voices sharp and clipped. And then you see him. Sunghoon. But not the Sunghoon you know. Not the one who smiles like sin and kisses like salvation. He’s lying on a hospital bed, still as stone, wires snaking from his chest, from his arms, from his scalp. Machines beep in jagged rhythms, cruel little lullabies counting down to something inevitable.
He looks pale. Hollow.
Dead.
A doctor turns to the others. “We’re losing him. There’s not much time—”
“No,” you breathe. “No, no—” You stumble forward in the vision, chest aching with a pain too big for your ribs. You’re screaming his name but no one hears you. It’s like you’re not even there. You reach for him, desperate to hold his hand, to shake him awake, to do something. But then like a gunshot to the head- darkness.
You’re yanked back into the present like a diver breaking the surface after too long underwater. Your lungs seize. Your body jolts. You sit upright in bed, heart galloping against your ribs like it’s trying to escape. “Y/n?” Sunghoon is already up, panic etched into every line of his face. “Hey—what happened?” You blink at him, throat raw. Your hands are shaking. Your mouth opens, then closes. What was that?
You clutch the sheet around you, the image of him lying on that bed seared into your memory like a brand. You can still hear the flatline in your ears. “Talk to me,” he pleads, scooting closer, brushing the hair from your damp forehead. “You’re scaring me.” But you can’t find the words. You don’t even know what this means. All you know is that it felt too real. Too visceral. Like a ghost of a future that hasn’t yet happened. And you’d never felt fear like that. Not even when you lost your grandmother. Not even when your father died without goodbye. Because this was Sunghoon. And he was gone in your arms. “I’m okay,” you lie, voice shredded. “I just—bad dream.”
He pulls you into his chest, wraps his arms around you like a shield. “It’s over now,” he murmurs. “I’m right here.” And you let yourself believe him. Just for a second. But the image won’t leave you. Not even when you get dressed. Not even when you walk into the boardroom hours later, hand in hand, presenting your final vision to an audience of executives and strangers. Not even when you see the pride in his eyes as he watches you speak, like you’ve somehow always belonged to this exact moment. Because beneath the suit, beneath the smile, beneath everything he is, there’s still that hospital bed, cold and waiting. And you?
You’re terrified that someday, somehow, it won’t be a dream. You shallow your breath, allowing yourself to fall back into the resolve the Sunghoon was giving you. “I’m sorry.” You say.
“Don't be sorry, baby.” Sunghoon plants a small kiss to the side of your head. “Do you want to talk about it?” But you shake your head no. This was the morning of a very important presentation. You can’t allow something like a vision..or a dream? To break your balance.
Sunghoon decides on taking a shower together and you can honestly say it was the best idea he's had all morning. Letting the warmth of the shower water fall over you like a security blanket did good for your quaking anxiety. The two of you savored your time together before it was time for what was no doubt going to be a stressful presentation.
The conference room gleams with sterile promise, all white walls, steel accents, and the flicker of rain pressing hard against the windows like it’s trying to get in, trying to drown the whole day in gray. The storm has soaked the city in gloom, made the roads reflective, the sky a bruise. It’s the kind of weather that clings to your clothes, your hair, your spirit. Still, you sit tall. You're perched at the long, lacquered table beside Sunghoon, Wonyoung and Jay across from you. The CEO sits at the head, aloof and unreadable, surrounded by a few of Suyu’s management staff. The mood is already tense, the kind of tight that makes every throat clear feel like a bullet ricochet. You're clutching the presentation clicker like a lifeline.
And then she arrives. Suyu steps into the room like she owns every inch of it, her heels tapping with the arrogance of someone used to the world bowing before her. She’s wrapped in designer spite — sunglasses still on despite the indoor lighting, lips already pursed in disdain. Her team trails behind her like shadows, but she commands the storm all on her own. “Sorry I’m late,” she says without sounding remotely sorry. She doesn’t offer a reason. Doesn’t need to. She knows no one here would dare call her out. Her gaze flickers across the room, then lands on you. And stays there.
A slow, venomous smile curves her mouth. You know that look. You’ve seen it on girls in high school, in boardrooms, in battlefields dressed as brunch tables, the kind that hides a knife behind lip gloss. But you refuse to flinch. You return the smile, polite, professional. Determined. Even if your stomach is already turning. Even if you know something isn’t right. Because before the meeting, as you and Sunghoon stood tucked in a corner hallway, nerves vibrating between you, he kissed you. Not a small, fleeting thing but a real kiss. A grounding, you-got-this kind of kiss. You thought you were alone. You weren’t. Suyu had seen it.
You caught the flicker of her figure at the edge of your vision as you pulled away, the flash of her hair like a flag of warning disappearing around the corner. But she didn’t say anything then. She’s saying it now, in the set of her mouth. In the storm behind her eyes. “Let’s get this over with,” she drawls, sliding into her seat.
You rise. Your voice is steady. You begin to speak. You talk about the concept, the vision, the artistry, the story you built with your bare hands. The cover design, sleek and dreamlike, a blend of sharp femininity and rebellious edge. You talk about the themes you studied from her past work, the ways you’ve tried to elevate her image without losing what made her iconic. You worked your soul into this.
Halfway through your explanation, Suyu starts to scoff. Loudly. You ignore it. Keep going. Then she interrupts. “I’m sorry, are we seriously pretending this is good?” The room stills. Your mouth goes dry. “I mean, really?” she sneers, crossing her arms. “This looks like something a design intern from a knockoff fashion school would make after drinking two energy drinks and crying over her ex.” Your hands grip the edge of the table. Wonyoung’s eyes flash in defense, but she stays silent. Jay’s jaw tightens. Sunghoon doesn’t move.
“I wanted fierce. I wanted iconic,” Suyu continues. “Not this sad, watered-down Tumblr board with delusions of grandeur.” You swallow. “I can explain the—”
“Oh, please don’t. You’ve explained enough. I don’t need to be walked through mediocrity.” A flicker of laughter comes from someone on her team. And it hurts. But not as much as when the CEO leans forward and says, “She’s not entirely wrong. This doesn’t feel aligned with Suyu’s brand.” Your breath catches. Your fingers shake around the clicker. You turn to Sunghoon, desperate for something. A word. A hand. A glance. Something to say you’re not alone. He sighs. The hurt had only started to seep into your bones when sunghoon nodded, a simple nod of agreement was what tore your heart in half. Yanking it from your body and smashing it to pieces on the floor in front of you. “I told you we should’ve gone with the second mock-up,” he says. “This one doesn’t hit the mark.”
It’s not just the words. It’s the casualness of them. Like you’re not standing there bleeding. Your heart tears clean in two. You stare at him. Unblinking. Unmoving. The man who once said he loved you while holding your hand in the snow now sits there like you’re just another person in the room. A stranger he happens to know. Suyu’s smile curls. “Maybe you should stick to something you’re actually good at,” she says sweetly, eyes flicking between you and Sunghoon. “Like kissing your boss in public hallways. That seemed more in your lane.” And there it is. The dagger, Slammed into your chest and twisted with precision.
Wonyoung rises to her feet. “That’s enough.” But it’s not. It’s far from enough. You don’t cry. You don’t scream. You gather your notes. You click the laptop shut. And then you speak. “Thank you for the feedback,” you say. “I’ll revise the design.” Your voice is steady. Your hands are not. The storm outside begins to weep harder against the glass, like the sky is mourning with you. You turn without another word, walking out with the sound of your name left echoing in Sunghoon’s throat — unheard, too late. And somewhere in the distance, a red string frays.
You were humiliated, destroyed, disgusted. How dare he. How fucking dare he. You had all agreed on the design, all. You had all worked tirelessly on the cover for months now. It was not just you. Sunghoon had warned you that you were their scapegoat but to not even defend you when you were being torn in half? Not even an ounce of accountability. How fucking dare he. You were livid, you couldn’t even see straight as your eyes blurred with tears threatening to spill.
You don’t remember running. You only remember the sound your heels make against the marble floors- sharp, frantic, echoing behind you like a second heartbeat. Like guilt chasing your ankles. Like shame trying to wrap its claws around your throat. The doors burst open, and the cold hits you like a slap. The sky is sobbing. Fat, angry raindrops fall in sheets, soaking through your blouse, your skin, your bones. It’s as if the universe itself has decided to mourn your dignity.
You don't have an umbrella. You don’t care. You just run. Your breaths come out in ragged, uneven stutters. You can’t stop seeing their faces. Suyu’s cruel smirk, the board’s blank indifference, and worst of all- his. Sunghoon. Sitting there. Saying nothing. Letting it happen. His silence was louder than any insult they could have thrown. A betrayal more cutting than any blade.“I told you we should’ve gone with the second mock-up.”
He might as well have said, I don’t believe in you. I never did.
The words keep replaying, rewinding, looping until they stitch themselves into the lining of your chest. You make it to the sidewalk, the rain pounding harder, your tears indistinguishable from the storm. Your fingers tremble as you wrap your arms around yourself, like maybe you can hold the pieces of your heart in place before they fall entirely apart. But then- A hand on your wrist. Firm. Familiar. “Y/N—please,” Sunghoon’s voice cracks through the rain, desperate, raw. “Just wait—listen to me.”
You spin around, water dripping down your cheeks, your hair plastered to your face. “Why? So you can say I told you so again? So you can throw me under the bus a second time? Was watching them humiliate me not enough for you?!” His mouth opens. Closes. He looks like he’s been punched. “I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t lie to me,” you whisper, voice trembling. “Not now. Not after everything.” You try to pull away but he doesn’t let go. And that’s when it happens. The world vanishes. Time fractures. You’re no longer in the rain. You’re back there.
Bright lights. White walls. The cold sterility of a hospital room seeping into your bones. You’re on your knees. Screaming. Doctors surround a still body on a bed. Tubes. Wires. The sound of machines flatlining. Your voice is raw with anguish. You’re clawing at someone—anyone—begging, pleading.
“Please—no—don’t—_bring him back, please—_he can’t be gone—he can’t be—” And then the words you will never forget: “Time of death—7:46 PM.” You hear them like a bell tolling inside your ribcage, like a countdown to the end of the world. You watch Sunghoon’s chest stilled beneath the sheet. You see your own face; twisted with disbelief, with agony, with a kind of grief that doesn’t come from this world.
Your voice breaks through the flashback, one last scream: “SUNGHOON—!” And then you’re back—but barely. The rain is still falling, and his hand is still wrapped around your wrist. You look down at it like it’s the thing that killed you. And with a sharp, guttural sob, you yank it away. Like his hand was on fire and you were burning, burning from the rage and the humiliation and from your breaking point. A breaking point that was bound to come.
You were a ticking time bomb of emotions, you missed your grandmother, you missed the comfort of your red bracelet, funny enough you missed your parents and the father you never got the chance to say goodbye to, that too stolen from you.
You miss the childhood you never had, one filled with love and reassurance. One where you didnt feel like a burden but like a gift. You hated that this was your life, that you were always second best even in the most mundane of places.
“Don’t touch me!” you cry, voice shattering. “Don’t ever touch me again!” He stares at you, completely soaked, completely stunned. “Y/N—what—what just happened—” But you’re already stumbling backward. Away. From him. From the pain. From whatever this is turning into.
You bolt into the street, blind with heartbreak, with fury, with something you don’t even have a name for. And behind you; his voice. Desperate. Terrified. “Y/N—watch out—!” You turn too late. A flash of headlights. A screech. Then- Nothing.Just blackness, folding you in like a final breath. And the rain keeps falling, like the sky is crying for both of you.
The first thing you feel is the weight. Heavy, like you’ve been asleep for centuries. Your body is lead, your limbs sunken deep into stiff hospital sheets that smell like bleach and absence. Your mouth is dry. Your head aches. Your skin is sore, like the bruises haven’t bloomed yet but are waiting, just beneath the surface. The beeping of a heart monitor slices through the fog. You open your eyes.
The ceiling is too white. The light overhead buzzes with the subtle hum of sterility. You turn your head, slowly like moving through water and see the pale curtain that separates your bed from the rest of the world. It stirs slightly from the hum of an unseen vent, like a ghost brushing its fingers against your reality. You glance down at your wrist. Your breath catches in your throat. There it is. The red string.
Thin, delicate, impossibly bright in the sterile light. Wound gently around your wrist like it never left. Like it belonged there all along. You sit up too quickly, dizziness punches the edge of your vision, but you push through it, heart hammering in your chest like a trapped thing. You look out the window. Grey clouds churn like smoke against the sky. Rain clings to the glass in streaks, as if the world has been weeping without you. You press the call button. A nurse rushes in, kind eyes and a clipboard clutched to her chest. “You’re awake,” she breathes, a smile blooming like dawn. “Thank God. You’ve been out a while.”
“You were in an accident. You’re going to be okay.” You blink. A car. That’s right. The street. The rain. Sunghoon. “What day is it?” you ask, and your voice trembles because something in your chest is already breaking. The nurse glances at the chart. “April third.” The words punch the breath from your lungs. “…What year?” you manage. “2024.”
You swallow, heart thundering like it’s trying to run from your chest. “That’s not possible.”
But she only smiles gently, like she thinks you’re confused. Like she’s seen this before. “Don’t worry, honey. Just rest. You’ll feel more like yourself tomorrow.” But you’re not even sure who you are. Because this is before. This is before everything. Before the journals. Before the office. Before Sunghoon. It’s the day of the accident. The first time. You stare down at the red thread on your wrist like it holds the answer to the unraveling of time itself. You twist it gently between your fingers, like maybe if you touch it long enough, you’ll remember how to breathe.
You don’t know what kind of trick the universe is playing. You don’t know why it’s giving you another beginning. But your heart already knows one thing for sure. Somehow, somewhere; Sunghoon exists. He has to. Your chest heaves with the weight of it, lungs tight with questions that have no place in this timeline. That hospital light is still buzzing above, casting everything in a strange half-glow, like you're caught in the moment between lightning and thunder waiting for something to strike. The red string clings to your wrist like it never left. Like it knew.
“Was there… was there a man?” you ask suddenly, voice raw, broken from something older than your waking. The nurse looks up from the monitor she’s checking. “A man?”
“Was he hit, too?” You sit straighter in the bed despite the protest of your bruised ribs, your fingers clutching the blanket like it's the only thing keeping you tethered. “Outside. In the rain. I— I remember him.” The nurse hesitates, then softens. “Yes… there was someone else. A young man. He pushed you out of the way before the car hit.”
Your mouth falls open, lips parting like they’re trying to catch a breath that won’t come. “What—what does he look like?” She sighs gently, like she’s already replayed this conversation in her mind. “Tall. Dark hair. Pale skin. He had a bracelet, I think. Something red around his wrist.” You nearly choke on your breath. “Park Sunghoon?” The name escapes your lips like a prayer and a curse all at once.
The nurse freezes. Then she nods. You can't speak. He’s here. He was real. Not just a dream, not just a creation of grief and longing- he’s real. And he saved you before he even knew your name. “Can I see him?” you whisper, barely audible. “Please. I need to see him.”
It takes time. Paperwork. Permission. A quiet nod from someone behind the desk. Then the wheels of your bed begin to move, and the world around you shifts as they push you down the too-bright hallway, every fluorescent light a drumbeat in your chest. You don’t know what you expect when they wheel you into the room, but it isn’t this. Sunghoon lies still beneath pale blue sheets. Monitors blink softly at his side, IV lines like threads of spun glass winding into the curve of his wrist. He looks too still. Too quiet. His skin is waxen, the color of snowclouds. His lashes fan over cheeks that hold no warmth. He could be sleeping- but the stillness has a weight to it. The kind that feels like silence after music has died.
“They’re not sure if he’ll wake up,” the nurse murmurs, lingering near the door. “His brain took the worst of it.” You nod once, wooden. Silent. Then the door clicks shut behind her. You are alone with him. And he doesn't know you. You pull your blanket closer around your shoulders, trying to hold in the warmth that suddenly seeps out of you like mist. You wheel yourself closer to his bedside, trembling fingers reaching out- but not quite touching.
“You don’t know me,” you whisper. The words slice your throat on the way out. “You don’t know my name. You don’t know the way I laugh when I’m nervous, or how I cry when someone talks about their grandmother.” You laugh, a hollow thing. “You don’t know that I drink tea when I’m anxious, or that I never learned to whistle.” Your eyes burn. “I know that you hated my first cover design. I know that you have a terrible poker face and that you secretly adore puns even though you pretend not to. I know that you’re stubborn and serious and kind in the quietest, most impossible ways.”
“But I also know that none of that’s happened yet. Not here. Not in this version of us.” The red thread lies between you both, as if waiting. “He saved me,” you say aloud, voice crumbling like old paper. “Before he ever knew me.” You reach forward, gently resting your hand over his; cool, unmoving. “I don’t know why this is happening. Why the universe spun the clock backward. But if it brought me here to find you again…”
You lean closer, forehead nearly brushing the edge of his bed. “…Then I’ll wait. I’ll find a way to make you fall in love with me again. Even if I have to start all over. Even if it takes years. Even if you never remember a single moment.” Your voice breaks on the last word. You sit there in silence, the storm outside casting shadows across the floor. And somewhere, deep beneath the machines and the stillness- You think he might squeeze your hand. Just barely.
It’s only when the stillness settles, soft and cold as snowfall, that you notice it, his wrist. Peeking out from beneath the hospital blanket, slack and pale in the hush of machines, lies a single braided thread. Red as pomegranate wine. Frayed at the edge, worn, but unmistakable. Your eyes widen. Your breath stalls. It’s the same. The same bracelet. The same shade, the same knot, the same tiny bead like a drop of dried blood tucked between the threads. He still has it on. Your hand trembles as you lift your own wrist, laying it beside his on the edge of the bed. The two strings look like they’ve been waiting all this time, twin threads from different cloths, now side by side, humming quietly in the silence of the room.
It steals the air from your lungs. The stories your grandmother whispered flicker to life behind your eyes. The red string never breaks. Even when cut, it finds its way back. You’d doubted it- how could you not? After everything. After losing him. After watching him disappear in that final flash of memory and headlights. But now? Now the thread lies between you, unmistakable and real.
And then he breathes. A gasp. Wet and sudden. You jolt back in shock, eyes darting to his face as his chest rises in a shallow breath, then another. His lashes flutter. His lips part. He’s waking up. He’s waking up and you don’t exist to him here. Your heart stutters, cracking open like thin ice under too much weight. You scramble up from the chair, nearly knocking it over in your rush. “I—I’m sorry. I got the wrong room. I’ll get the doctor—” But before you can turn to flee, before your fingers even brush the call button-
“…Y/n?” It’s so soft you almost miss it. A breath more than a word. A tremble more than a voice. But it’s your name. You freeze, eyes wide, back still turned. “…Y/n,” he says again, a little stronger this time, as if drawing your name up from some hidden place in his bones. You turn slowly, not daring to believe. His eyes are open now, barely, but they’re there. Dark and dazed and clumsy with pain. He’s looking at you like you’re a dream crawling out of the dark. Like he doesn’t know what’s real and what’s just memory, but you- you, he remembers. “How…?” you whisper, barely able to breathe.
His lips twitch into something like a smile. Weak. Trembling. “Your voice,” he murmurs. “I knew it.”
You stumble back toward his bed, tears burning down your cheeks like fire. “You… remember?”
“I don’t know,” he whispers. “Not all of it. Just pieces. Feelings. I saw you before I woke up. I felt… like I lost you.” Your hands clutch at the blanket, at your own chest, trying to keep yourself together as your heart swells to fill every broken place. “I thought you wouldn’t know me,” you say through a sob. “I thought I’d have to find you again. Start all over. Make you fall in love with me a second time.”
He blinks slowly, exhaustion drawing shadows under his eyes. But his fingers twitch, reaching weakly toward you. “You already did,” he says. “In every version of this world… I think I would love you.”
You sit beside him, hand trembling as it hovers over his. The machines beep quietly, like lullabies sung in code, and outside the clouds churn, endless shades of grey bruising the morning light. But none of it touches you. Not really. Because Sunghoon is awake, and he remembers you. Even though he shouldn’t. Even though this is a time before he should know your name, before your first meeting was ever supposed to happen. Still, he looks at you like you are a story he’s read a thousand times, and only now understands the ending. He turns his wrist slowly, eyes drifting down to the red bracelet wrapped around yours.
“It was always you,” he murmurs, voice soft and unsteady. “Even before I knew it.” You inhale shakily, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “How?” you whisper. “How do you remember me?” His gaze lifts, lashes damp from pain and memory.
“I had dreams,” he says. “Or… I thought they were dreams. Every time I touched you—I’d see something. Sometimes it was nothing more than a flicker. A flash. You smiling under golden light. A hallway I didn’t recognize. Your voice calling my name in the dark.” He closes his eyes briefly, breath hitching. “But then… every time I touched you, it got stronger. Clearer. And near the end—I saw you dying. I saw you bleeding and screaming and I couldn’t reach you. I’d wake up choking. I didn’t understand why.”
Your fingers clutch at the sheet. “In mine,” you whisper, “you were the one dying.” His eyes flutter open again, searching your face. “You had the red string. I never did. Not in the dreams.”
A beat. And then another. The air between you crackles with something ancient. Something bigger than time “The string connected to you,” he says, voice thick. “I think it was showing your side. Like the dreams were through my eyes, but your pain. Your memories.” You stare down at the bracelets—his, tucked beneath pale hospital linen. Yours, worn and dulled but still whole. And then the truth falls between you, like a thread slipping back into the eye of the needle. “We’re soul ties,” you say, the words trembling out of you. “Not just lovers. Not just fate. We’re pieces of each other.”
Sunghoon swallows. “The string wasn’t just some story, was it?” You shake your head, heart pulsing against your ribs like a caged thing. “No. Our grandparents… they had this once too. My grandmother told me stories. She loved a man she could never be with. She said the string would return—find its way through generations if it had to.”
His eyes shine. “My grandfather gave me this bracelet before he passed. Said it was for ‘when the thread comes back.’ I thought he was being poetic.” You let out a soft, broken laugh. “Mine told me the same.” And for a moment, you are quiet together. Wrapped in this wild, impossible truth. A love so old it circled back. A thread so stubborn it refused to break. Worn by your grandparents. Given to you.
Soul ties. Lovers across lifetimes. The one that got away, born again in a heartbeat and a car crash. “I’m sorry I ever doubted it,” you say, tears slipping down your cheeks. Sunghoon smiles weakly, thumb brushing your wrist. “I’m not. I think we needed to doubt it. To fight it. So that when we stopped… we knew it was real.”
And suddenly the pain of the past doesn't feel like a punishment anymore. It feels like a bridge. A path winding through lifetimes, across heartbreak and death and fate bending back on itself like a red thread pulled tight. You reach for his hand, fingers sliding into his gently. The bracelets touch. The strings align. “I love you,” you whisper, for the first time in this life with your whole soul behind it.
The red string of fate had brought the two of you together, in something so magical and true. More magical than your grandmother had ever described before. Something you wished she
would have gotten to feel at a scale that you did, in this very moment with sunghoon.
Epilogue
One year later
The sky is soft that morning draped in cotton grey and trimmed with streaks of early gold. The kind of sky that doesn’t need to dazzle to feel holy. The kind your grandmother used to call a good omen. You stand outside the little toy shop at the corner of the old neighborhood. It’s quiet, the shutters half-open, a chime ringing as you step inside. The air smells like sawdust and lavender, memories and beginnings.
It took time to get here, months of healing, of relearning how to breathe without bracing for grief, of sorting through boxes and stories and broken pieces of the past. You and Sunghoon didn’t rush. You stitched yourselves back together gently, one soft moment at a time. The shop isn’t just your parents’ anymore. It’s yours. It’s new. It’s old. It’s both. Just like your love. Sunghoon’s laughter echoes from the back room, followed by a thud and a quiet curse. You smile, setting the "Grand Reopening" sign in the window.
He appears a moment later, hair tousled and cheeks pink from effort, holding a tiny wind-up ballerina in one hand. “She spins like you when you’re tipsy,” he grins. You roll your eyes. “So, gracefully?”
“Sure,” he teases. “Let’s go with that.” You take it from him and place it on the shelf, right beside a row of handmade music boxes you designed together. There’s a rhythm in everything now. A shared breath. A new life. Wonyoung and Jay come by in the afternoon, arms full of flowers and cake. The four of you spend the day laughing, telling stories, pretending not to see the way Jay looks at Wonyoung when she’s not looking.
Later, after the lights are off and the door is locked behind you, you and Sunghoon walk home under a sky that has cleared into starlight. The city sleeps around you, but your hearts are wide awake. Fingers intertwined, you glance down at the bracelets on your wrists. Still there. Still unbroken The red string doesn’t glow. It doesn’t hum. It simply exists. A quiet truth. A promise kept across time. Sunghoon squeezes your hand. “What do you think our grandparents would say?”
You smile. “That we finally got it right.” And with that, you lean into him, the night folding around you both like a story ending in its rightful place. A love lost once. Returned again. And this time- held tight enough to never let go. Every now and again, Sunghoon would whisper “In every walk of life I will love you.” You knew in your entire body and soul that that was true.

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When BSD men have to carry you.
Pairing: Fem!Reader/BSD Men
In this post: ✨Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Doppo Kunikida, Atsushi Nakajima, Yukichi Fukuzawa, Edogawa Ranpo, Fyodor Dostoyevsky✨
Synopsis; Various scenarios where the BSD men have to carry you in their arms.
Guys should I double space or single space my paragraphs? Let me know…Bro this turned out to be a BEAST! Please requests are open!! Request for bsd or any other character!
Edogawa Ranpo
You had been walking home with your boyfriend, strolling peacefully as the dying sun elongated your shadows on the empty pavement. Your hand rested in Ranpo’s right hand, his left hand holding a lollipop he was happily licking.
Your eyes were staring at your feet, but your mind was elsewhere, thinking back to day you had spent in the office, more precisely Kenji’s small cousins coming to visit him from the countryside. The very unplanned visit had obviously caused chaos in the already disorganized life the Armed Detective Agency lived (Kunikida had almost died on the spot), but soon everyone started having fun. One precise moment had remained etched to your brain, recalling memories of your childhood you yourself had forgotten: Dazai carrying the little children on his back, twirling them around as they laughed.
The last time you had been carried in someone’s arms was so long ago the memory was fuzzy, and almost non-existent in your brain. Slowly, you wondered if your genius boyfriend would maybe comply to your very childish wish. The words bubbled in your chest, quickly pressing against your lips. You tried to calm down your beating heart, slightly embarrassed, but before you could even utter the first syllable, Ranpo turned to look at you, his eyes glittering in the sunset.
“I’ll do it just because it’s you.”
“H-how did you know what I wanted to ask?” Your boyfriend’s mind never ceased to amaze you.
“I was watching you today at the agency, and I immediately knew what you were thinking when you looked at Dazai.” Your cheeks became an even darker shade of red, and you nibbled on your lip, feeling embarrassment running all over your body.
Ranpo cleared his throat, and you glanced back at him, finding him kneeling in front of you, his lollipop hanging lazily from his lips. Your heart skipped a beat, and a happy giggle flew out of your mouth before you climbed on your boyfriend’s back. He quickly adjusted his hands to hold you more comfortably. “Hold on tight.” He called to you, before standing up.
You gasped, throwing your arms around his neck, and nuzzling your lips against his neck. “Ah, (Y/N)! That tickles!” He whined, making you laugh even more.
Ranpo started walking again, heading towards your home. You were on cloud nine, happily expressing your joy by kissing every inch of Ranpo’s skin that you could reach. “I love you, I love you!” You kept repeating, an idiotic smile practically glued to your lips.
“The things I do for you!” He exclaimed, faking annoyance, even through his heart beamed with joy, knowing he was the one who had made you smile so brightly you were rivaling the sun.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa
You had been lying down on the couch in Akutagwa’s office for the past hour, patiently waiting for him to finish working on some paperwork that had to be absolutely handed in by the end of the day. You had first come in as you two had planned to walk home, but your boyfriend had quickly explained the situation. Working in the same organization, you understood, and simply pressed a kiss to his pale skin before settling down comfortably, and waiting for him to be done.
As time sluggishly went on, the cozy warmth in Akutagwa’s office and his delicate cologne that permeated everything around you, slowly started to make you drowsy. The constant scratching of his pen against the paper did not help either, and you were soon slipping in and out of consciousness.
Akutagawa finished the last report he had to write, exhaling quietly, a little bit of tension easing from his shoulders. He slipped the lid on his pen, ordering the pages on his desk, knowing his assistant would deliver them as soon as you two would leave. Akutagawa stood up, stretching his back. “(Y/N), I’m done, let’s go…” His words trailed off when he turned to face you, finding you to be adorably sleeping on his couch.
The sight almost melted his heart, before he sadly realized he had to wake you up, even though he knew you had had trouble sleeping last night. He sincerely did not want to wake you up, desiring you to get the sleep you so needed. Akutagawa brainstormed for a few moments, thinking how to solve the issue, before an idea stepped forward: quietly, and delicately, Akutagawa commended Rashomon to slither towards you, picking you up with the most care in the world to not wake you. The dark coils carried you to your boyfriend’s back, placing you vertically against him, so your chest was pressing against his back. The black tendrils wrapped around your torso, safely locking you to Alutagwa’s back, making you become an almost human backpack. Your boyfriend reached to place your limp arms around his neck, and commanded Rashomon to hold your legs against him, so they wouldn’t accidentally drag on the floor and hurt you. And finally, one more coil gently supported your neck, your cheek now pressing against Akutagawa’s shoulder.
He made sure that you were soundly asleep before he walked out of the office, non caring of the other Port Mafia members who glanced at you two, clearly confused. The only unfazed one seemed to be Chuuya, but what could surprise him after years of living with Dazai?
The whole way home, Akutagawa made sure you were always sound asleep and comfortable, timidly holding your hand when he was sure he was very very very far away from the Port Mafia headquarters. When you two were in the elevator in your apartment complex, Akutagawa looked at you through the reflection, feeling his heart flutter when he realized you had started drooling in your sleep. You were truly the most beautiful women in the world.
He quietly shut the door of your apartment. Akutagawa gently laid you down on your bed, making sure you weren’t about to fall off the edge of the bed, before he finally allowed Rashomon to retreat. Just as he turned around to go grab his phone, he felt your warm hand on his wrist. He turned around, seeing you sleepily look at him, your eyes caked in sleep and barely remembered dreams.
“Come lay in bed?” You asked sluggishly.
Akutagawa could not resist. He quickly climbed bed next to you, welcoming you in his embrace, watching as you used his chest as a pillow. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, suddenly wincing. Before Akutagawa could ask what was wrong, you mumbled, “There’s a wet spot on your back,”
Akutagawa could not help the small smile on his face, kissing your forehead. “I know. Don’t worry about it.” You complied, quickly slipping back into slumber, and Akutagawa soon followed, closing his eyes.
Osamu Dazai
You had spent the whole day walking around Yokohama with Dazai, holding his hand tightly, eating whatever your hearts desired. Your last wish for the day was to go on the Ferris wheel, offering a night view of the twinkling city, making it resemble a field of fallen stars.
The both of you were at the very top of the Ferris Wheel; you were admiring the view, and Dazai had his head resting on your shoulder, observing the view of the city as well. His dark curls tickled your shoulders. “Did you have fun today, belladonna?” Dazai asked quietly, not wanting to destroy the magic of the moment.
“I had the best time of the my life. The only thing that put a blemish on today’s perfection was this skirt.” You pointed to the short skirt you had decided to wear that today.
Dazai glanced down after hearing your words, perplexedly staring at the article of clothing he had quite enjoyed on you: the skirt was beautiful on you, accentuating your gorgeous body. “Why was it a bad choice?” He asked, playing with the hem of it.
“Well, not the skirt in itself, but I usually wear some biker shorts underneath, because my thighs rub against each other and it hurts like a bitch! And I forgot them today!” You quickly hitched it up to show Dazai the reddened skin between your thighs. “And today’s heat did not help. Every step is an agony.” You admitted, hastily shoving your skirt down when you realized the ride was coming to an end.
Dazai chivalrously helped you out of the Ferris wheel, holding onto your arm. He noticed how you subtly tried to waddle instead of walking, not wanting your thighs to brush together again. “Bella, seeing you in such a dramatic situation makes your poor boyfriend’s heart bleed!” He dramatically stated, over exaggerating every word.
You chuckled. “I, your valiant boyfriend will sacrifice my knees for you.” He called, quickly kneeling in front of you.
“Are you sure, Dazai? I don’t want to hurt you…”
“My dear, you could never hurt me.” Dazai smiled at you, looking over his shoulder. You blushed, finally deciding that you could not walk anymore, and you gratefully climbed on his back, pressing a kiss to his head and whispering a soft, “Thank you.”
Dazai adjusted his hands to hold you comfortably and started walking home. “Am I not a gentleman, (Y/N)?” Dazai asked, turning to look at you and wiggle his eyebrows.
“Well, I am not so sure.” You laughed.
“Oh! You doubt my honor? For what reason, my lady?” Dazai whined.
“Well, I don’t think a gentleman would use this opportunity to touch my ass.” Dazai’s hands had been initially supporting your thighs, but his elegant fingers had soon slid further back, deciding to hold your butt, and you were sure that had not been just to carry you better.
Dazai tsked loudly. “T’is simply the fare to pay for this unique transport system.” You laughed, letting your head rest against his broad shoulders.
The rest of the walk home was peacefully, the two of you talking about random subjects. When you got home, Dazai gently rested you on the bed. “Do you want me to apply cream on the irritated skin?” He asked, starting to unbutton his shirt.
“Yes, please.”
Dazai quickly grabbed some Aloe Vera gel from the bathroom, coming back to the bedroom. You had removed your skirt, and were now lying in bed in just one of Dazai’s old shirts and your underwear.
Dazai knelt in front of your legs, quickly and efficiently applying the cream to all the irritated areas. After finishing, you pressed a kiss to his lips to thank him.
“Hey, (Y/N),”
“Yes?”
“Since you can’t close your leg until the cream has dried, can I eat you out?”
“Dazai!” You screamed, throwing a pillow at him. Your boyfriend ducked just in time.
“Hey! It’s not my fault! You’re lying there with your legs spread so enticingly!”
You threw all the pillows you had on the bed at Dazai’s head, and yet, somehow, he managed to have his way, keeping your legs spread way long after the cream had dried.
Doppo Kunikida
The day had been spent with the rest of the Armed Detective Agency at the beach, splashing in the water, running around and chasing each other in the water. You had built a sandcastle with Atushsi and Kyouka, sun-bathed with Dazai, and had taken strolls along the shoreline with your boyfriend, Kunikida.
You were currently helping Kenji and Rampo make another sandcastle, while Kunikida held a book in his hand, sitting in the shade. He wasn’t reading the book, too focused on watching you laugh and giggle, the story in front of him long forgotten. The sun was slowly descending, disappearing behind the thin line of the horizon.
Slowly, every member of the Agency had retreated to their rooms, and now only the four of you remained, wanting to enjoy every moment left in the dying day.
Kunikida glanced down at his watch, stretching his neck, and thinking maybe it was time to head home, leaving the day at the beach to became a memory. “(Y/N)!” He called, waving his arm to catch your attention. You turned around, smiling. Kunikida gestured to his watch, and you threw a thumbs up in his direction, quickly waving goodbye to Kenji and Rampo, before sauntering over to your boyfriend. You pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, before you started helping him pack your towels and the various books the two of you had brought to the beach.
Holding one bag each, you started the walk back to the hotel, feeling the warmth of the cement underneath your flip-flops. “Today was so fun!” You squealed, sliding your hand in Kunikida’s.
“It sure was.” He answered back, threading your fingers together.
“I think my favorite part was when Dazai managed to convince the president to lie down in the sand and then made him a mermaid tail with the sand!” You giggled, also recalling Kunikida’s exasperated expression when he had caught Rampo trying to eat a snack that had fallen in the sand.
Kunikida chuckled. “It was a fun day today. We should take more holidays together.” He thought, already starting to meticulously plan the next one in his head.
You nodded, a sudden wave of exhaustion scaling your back and implanting its fangs in your head. Kunikida started mentioning other destinations that would be fun to visit, but your throat suddenly felt parched and your head boiling. You didn’t hear his words, the world starting to melt into confusing figures around you. Suddenly, the ground seemed to have been yanked away from you.
You managed to whimper Kunikida’s name before your legs gave up and you tumbled to the ground. Kunikida turned around, his smile evaporating when he realized your eyes had rolled to the back of your head and you were fainting. The bag he was carrying toppled to the ground and he dove to catch you, holding you in his arms.
“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” He asked, fear gripping his insides.
“Don’t worry, Kunikida. I think it’s just heatstroke. I did run around underneath the blazing sun for most of the day.” You chuckled dryly, trying to not worry your perpetually panicking boyfriend.
Your words did little to help Kunikida, who started digging through the bag closest to him, trying to find a water bottle he knew was there, his mind already flooding with self-deprecating thoughts because he had not thought about making sure you wouldn’t catch heatstroke.
Knowing your boyfriend, you could read his thoughts reflected in his gorgeous eyes, and gently squeezed his hand. Kunikida turned to look at you, water bottle in hand. “My darling over-thinker, it’s fine. This is not your fault.”
Kunikda gulped, nodding curtly, before opening the bottle and helping you drink half of it, pouring the rest on your head to help you cool down.
You waited a few more moments, resting in Kunikida’s lap before nodding. “Okay, I’m fine. Let’s keep going.” You tried to stand up, but before you had even managed to place one foot perpendicular to the ground, Kunikida had wrapped one arm around your back, and the other underneath your knees, lifting you up in his arms. You gasped, holding onto his neck.
“Kunikida! What are you doing?” You asked, as you watched him start walking.
“I am not making you walk when you are in these conditions.” He said, not wanting you to get even more tired. Seeing you collapse had already made him lose thirty years of his life; he didn’t need a repeat.
“But Kunikida, darling, I’m fine! I’m not that sick! And I’m too heavy for you!” You rambled, trying to get down. Your wiggling only made Kunikida hold onto you more tightly. The moment you uttered the last sentence, Kunikida stared at you, clearly waiting for you to take back what you had just said.
You pouted, realizing you could not win this fight. You rested your head on his shoulder, letting him take care of you.
The minute you got back to the hotel, Kunikida laid you down on the bed, raiding the mini fridge for ice, and gently placing it on your wrists and ankles. Only when you were lying in bed, slowly gaining back the sparkle in your eyes did Kunikida feel his heart stop beating a thousand times a minute, and let himself collapse on the bed.
Let’s just say, for the rest of the holiday, you were basically dragged back into the shade by Kunikida every 30 minutes.
Yukichi Fukuzawa
The evening was finally over; you had spent the whole night at a charity event held by the most powerful people in all of Yokohama. Your boyfriend, being Fukuzawa, the president of the Armed Detective Agency, had to attend, and to make his evening a little bit more bearable, he had asked you to accompany him.
The night had been relatively fun, talking to various people and enjoying some expensive champagne. The only tense moment was when the two of you had stumbled on Mori, who for some reason, was there as well. Luckily, no fight erupted between the two men; they curtly nodded at one another and then moved on with their own affairs.
The best part of the evening, for you, had been when they had played some slow, romantic music, and invented everyone to dance with their partners. You had enjoyed swaying in Fukuzawa’s arms, getting lost in his eyes. But you were paying the price now, your feet aching at every step in your stiletto heels. Every step feeling like shards of glass stabbed your already aching skin.
You and Fukuzawa were heading home, but every step was torture, a grimace carving itself in your face. “My dear, what is wrong?” Fukuzawa asked, his deep voice momentarily distracting you from the pain.
You glanced at him, your heart fluttering when your eyes caught his handsome face glimmering in the moonlight. You nodded down to your feet, lifting your dress’ skirt slightly to reveal your two personal torture machines. “My heels: they’re killing me.”
“Would you like to take them off?” Fukuzawa asked, glancing down at your black heels. He had never worn any type of heeled-shoe, but could imagine what they felt like.
“I wish, but I can’t walk home barefoot.”
“I’ll carry you.”
“What? No, Yukichi, I can’t let you carry me! Our house is far.”
“(Y/N), every step you have been taking these last few minutes makes you visibly wince in pain. I cannot let the woman I love suffer so.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest, and couldn’t help but thank whichever divinity had gifted you this man. Using his shoulder for your balance, you slipped off your high heels, immediately becoming way shorter. You grimaced in pain when you noticed the shoes had managed to create various blisters on your feet. Your right foot had been more unlucky, raw skin visible in the silver light, and even a few trickles of blood.
Fukuzawa gently kneeled down in front of you, inspecting your feet. You saw concern paint his eyes, and his lips pressed a soft kiss to both your ankles. “You should have told me sooner,” he scolded gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
You nodded shyly, knowing he was right. You bent down to retrieve your heels, holding them with the tip of your fingers.
As soon as you straightened your back, you suddenly felt Fukuzawa’s warm hands hold you, before you were hoisted into his arms, suddenly finding yourself to be almost kissing your boyfriend’s lips. You blinked, using your free hand to grasp his shoulder. “I thought you would carry me on your back,” you admitted, not complaining that Fukuzawa had decided to carry you in his arms instead. You could feel his warm, and solid chest against your body, making you feel safe and cared for.
“I already get to see you so little, I would like to spend the rest of the night with your beautiful face in my line of sight.” Fukuzawa said, glancing at you warmly. You leaned forward, pressing a fervent kiss to his lips, knowing that Fukuzawa wasn’t always the biggest fan of PDA. But this one time, your silver-haired partner, kissed you back, mirroring your passion, the moon’s inconsistent light shielding you from any unwanted attention.
You pulled back from the kiss, leaning against his shoulders, getting lulled by his rhythmic breath.
When the two of you got home, Fukuzawa immediately tended to your feet, disinfecting the wounds, and wrapping them with bandages, before the two of you cuddled underneath the blankets to fall asleep.
The next day, Fukuzawa seemed to hover around your desk more than usual, making sure you could walk without problem and did not need to be carried. You told him not to worry.
At the end of the day, Kunikida looked outside the window of the Armed Detective Agency, and quickly looked away, seeing his president pressing a soft kiss to your lips before whisking you into his arms.
Nakahara Chuuya
Chuuya downed the remaining champagne in his glass, chuckling alongside with Koyo. The Port Mafia Christmas party was in full swing around the two of them. The buffet had been adequately raided, and Chuuya noticed quite a few people drunkenly wobbling around. Higuchi was heavily leaning on Akutagawa in the left corner of the room. He knew that you were somewhere around the room, having fun with your friends. Chuuya had only spent a few moments with you, pressing a kiss to your hand before leaving you: being an executive, he terrified the rest of your friends who were of a greatly inferior in rank. To let them enjoy their evening, he had stepped aside.
Koyo poured some more champagne in his glass, the melted, golden liquid sloshing around the delicate glass. “This champagne is real good,” Chuuya chirped happily, suddenly feeling a tap on his sleeve and turning around. Tachihara was standing in front of him, arms crossed around his chest.
“(Y/N) needs you.” He pointed his finger behind him, gesturing to your current location. “She’s shit-faced drunk and is just calling your name.” After having done his job, Tachihara walked away, joining Akutagawa.
Chuuya sighed, setting down his glass. The remaining champagne called to him, but he had to go. “Sorry, Koyo. Boyfriend duty calls.” He waved goodbye to his companion, start to head in between the crowd to find you.
As soon as people noticed that it was Chuuya, one of the most powerful executives, they quickly moved away, letting him through. But alcohol had rendered their reaction time significantly lower, and Chuuya still struggled.
“If we get attacked now, we’re fucked.” He grunted, after he had managed to push past a huddle of people who had formed a dance line and had somehow managed to run into itself, creating chaos. Chuuya adjusted his hat, scanning the purple couches that had been set around the room for the party: you had been there, the last time he saw you.
Your twinkling, beautiful laugh reached his ears over the cacophony in the room, like a siren song luring him. He followed the sound he loved so much, and finally reached you. You and your friends were sitting where he had left you. Your table was littered with empty bottles of various alcoholics, some of them open, and languidly dripping on the tabletop. Most of your friends were snoring, passed out, but a few them resisted stoically, dancing, or more wobbling clumsily, to the music. You were sitting on the couch, your cheeks red with alcohol, your hair beautifully disheveled, and singing along to the song with slurred words.
Chuuya stepped closer to you, gently placing his hand on yours. “Princess, I heard you were looking for me.” You turned around, hearing your boyfriend’s voice.
“Chuuya!” You called, your happy voice almost reaching a supersonic level. Without warning, you hooked your finger in his belt, dragging him down to the couch with you. Chuuya had only the time to blink before you climbed in his lap, straddling him. “I missed…*hic*…I missed you!” You giggled, poking his cheek continuously.
“How much have you had to drink, sweetheart?” Chuuya asked, adjusting your skirt so nothing would be revealed to anyone in the room around you.
“I don’t know!” You smiled lopsidedly at him, suddenly feeling sleepy now that your boyfriend was here. You almost fell backwards, Chuuya bringing you back against him in time.
“Okay. That’s it. We’re going home.” Chuuya decided, knowing that tomorrow’s hangover would shatter all plans he had to go ice skating with you.
You were so tired, and the room was spinning so rapidly around you that you nodded, wanting to go home. But you still had one more playful spark inside your chest. “But you have to carry me!” You whined, gripping your boyfriend tightly.
Chuuya caressed your clothed back, sighing. You were adorably cute when you were drunk. The feared port mafia executive was putty in your hands, and he adored every moment of it. Using his ability, Chuuya made you lighter in his arms, starting to walk with you clung onto him like a drunk, but beautiful koala. You giggled happily, inhaling your boyfriend’s musky cologne, and feeling lulled to sleep by his rhythmic walking. Your fingers traced heart shapes on his vest, humming a nonsensical song you were making up on the spot.
The sleepy silence of the deserted street was suddenly broken by a loud laugh that escaped you, scaring Chuuya. “What’s so funny, doll?” He asked, his heartbeat slowly calming down.
“I just realized that I love you to the moon and back!” You singsonged, smushing Chuuya’s cheeks together. Your boyfriend stared back at you, nothing but love glimmering in his eyes.
“I wuv y’too.” He managed to mumble through his squished cheeks, his heart almost on fire with joy. A gorgeous smile decorated your face, and you looked as gorgeous as an antique painting, before you suddenly collapsed against his chest, snoring loudly.
“Doll? What? You can’t just declare your love for me and then start sleeping!” Chuuya called, trying to shake your arm. But you had said what you needed to say, and was now happily in dreamland, sleeping peacefully in your boyfriend’s arms.
Chuuya realized waking you was impossible, and decided to press a kiss to your forehead, instead. He pulled you closer in his arms, enjoying the stroll through the moonlit Yokohama with his drunk koala safely in his arms.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
You had been lying in bed for a few days now. Your throat ached, as if someone had sandpapered it, and your nose had become red from all the tissues you had used. Your body temperature was acting weird, swinging from absolute boiling to absolute freezing. Right now you were freezing, gripping the duvet around you with your trembling fingers.
Your boyfriend, Fyodor, had been staying away from you to avoid getting sick, his anemia not providing a strong enough shield for him to be there. He did come in the room a few times, wearing a mask, but bringing you food and water, and caressing your forehead.
Your teeth were chattering from how cold you felt, and with a sudden whine, you realized that the heater had accidentally gone off in your room, rendering it even more freezing. You tried to convince yourself that you could get out of bed and walk the few steps to the heater. With an inhumane effort you, you dragged yourself up to a sitting position, immediately falling into a brutal couching fit.
When you opened your watery eyes, you noticed Fyodor was sitting on the edge of the bed. You immediately covered your mouth. “Fyodor, what are you doing here?” You asked, your voice broken.
“I could hear you coughing from the other room, milaya.” He called, a cold finger caressing your cheek. You averted your gaze, feeling embarrassed that you were being a burden to your permanently busy boyfriend.
Fyodor quickly read what you were thinking in your body gestures, and decided that actions would cure your scared heart more than his words. He slowly approached you, lifting a chin and pressing a kiss to your nose. Your already flushed cheeks became even redder. Fyodor then slowly cradled you into his arms, feeling your quivers shake his body as well. He grabbed the duvet, and threw it over your body, making sure you were safely encapsulated in its warmth, before picking you up.
“No, Fyodor, I don’t want to tire you out and then make you sick,” You protested meekly, weakly trying to push yourself away from his body.
“You’re freezing, milaya.” Fyodor stated, pulling you closer to himself. He expertly avoided your question, not wanting to admit that hearing you sick, and alone, in the other room had slowly destroyed his heart. The shards had slowly blossomed into the realization that he would not mind getting sick, if he could just hold you against himself while working. But he would never admit it.
You were too weak to try and convince him, happily giving up and allowing yourself to rest in your lover’s embrace as he sat back down in his office chairs, returning to work. You adjusted yourself, trying to get comfortable, accidentally uncovering your feet. Fyodor immediately tucked you back in, not wanting you to feel an inch of the cold air on your skin.
It wasn’t rare that you slept in Fyodor’s arms while he worked, his scent lulling you into a deep slumber. Your blocked nose was preventing you from smelling anything, and you shifted around his lap helplessly.
Fyodor blocked your movements. You stared up at him, slightly afraid that he would kick you out for disturbing him. Instead, Fyodor gently pulled you against himself, making sure you were comfortable, but starting to hum a quiet, Russian lullaby.
You instantly calmed down, your eyelids becoming heavier. Your body felt at peace, the shivers no longer wrecking your body. Right before sleep dragged you under the surface, you slipped your hand in Fyodor’s and pulled it close to your chest. You snuggled against his chest, starting to snore adorably.
Fyodor could not help but gaze lovingly at you, singing the Russian lullaby till he was sure you wouldn’t wake. And only then, did he lean down and kiss your lips, murmuring a quiet, “I love you,” to your ear.
Nakajima Atsushi
Your weretiger boyfriend had thrown himself down the Armed Detective Agnecy stairs when Kunikida had told him you were coming back from a mission and had severely twisted your ankle. He was now anxiously pacing in front of the building, waiting for you.
When your taxi stopped in front of him, Atsushi almost ripped the car door off, worry sinking its claws in him. You smiled weakly at him, clearly very much in pain. “Hey darling,” you called, trying to calm Atsushi down, because he was clearly on the verge of a mental breakdown: his eyes were wide, his chest heaving, and he immediately ducked down to wrap you in his strong arms, irrationally fearing you might die from a twisted ankle.
You held him close to you, whispering that you were fine, and nothing was going to happen to you. When Atsushi’s heartbeat had steadied enough for him to not crumble on the ground crying, you pulled away from him, anchoring your left hand to the car door to slowly, and carefully slip out.
You put one foot down on the ground before Atsushi intervened. He would not let you walk on your foot, for no reason at all. He leaned down, and easily picked you up in his arms, his fingers digging into your skin, as if he were afraid you would slip out of his hold and hurt yourself even more.
As Atsushi carried you, you dragged your hands through his hair, scratching his scalp to further relax the panic that was tainting his gaze. The ironclad grip he had on you slowly loosened once he was in the elevator. “My knight in shining armor,” you giggled, caressing his chin.
“My love, please, please be careful from now on,” He whispered, looking at you with eyes that almost made you start crying. You nodded, pressing your forehead against his. And in the moment of peace, neither of you noticed the elevator door opening, signaling you had arrived to your destination.
You did, however, hear Kunikida shouting his head off because Dazai had accidentally poured coffee on his notebook. You and Atsushi giggled quietly, sharing one more chaste kiss before entering the chaos that was your office.
#bsd#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#chuuya x reader#rampo x reader#fukuzawa x reader#fyodor x reader#kunikida x reader#atsushi x reader#akutagawa x reader
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VENUS💕AND 💕 THE 💕TYPE💕OF 💕LADY💕 YOU 💕ARE💕.
Venus in a woman's chart explains the type of lady she is when it comes to matters of the heart 🫀. How she acts when in love and how she displays her feminine role. If you're a guy, understanding your lady's Venus would really help!💕.
Plsssssssss note that theses are my experiences with the Venus signs, no offense 🤕😂.
♈ Venus in Aries:Let's all say "fiery lady" together. 1...... 2...... 3...... FIERY LADY!!!.
This is a fiery one indeed and when she is in love she most likely makes the first move to approach the fellow. She is bold and she knows what it is she wants. She will not beat around the bush. She has attitude wft 😒 and believe me when I say when this lady loves you, she will do sh*t for you. Like beat someone up lol 😂 . The way she expresses her love makes single people jealous 😒. The downside of this is that she can be crazy 🤣 for you dis minute , the next minute she might want out of the relationship 😒 but don't let her go!😭
♉ Venus in Taurus: Let's all say "luxury queen" together. 1...... 2...... 3..... LUXURY QUEEN!!!
Girllllllll..... You like money 🤑!! You like Food 🥑!! and You have an amazing voice 🎤!! buh you know what else, most of you are stingy 😒. This is the lady who will stick with you if you can provide her every need. Take her to that restaurant, buy that jewelry, just name it and she will adore you. This girls loveee to eat too, make her fav meal. When it comes to love, she like to stay sensible and make grounded decisions often thinking if he can provide a safe abode for her. They want baby girl treatment lol 😂. Just like Bulls, they are very stubborn when they make their decisions. Did I forget to say, they are pretty 😍
♊ Venus in Gemini: Let's all say"chit chat queen" together. 1....... 2...... 3..... CHIT CHAT QUEEN!!!. She never gets tired of talking and talking and talking. If you're looking for a partner and best friend, then you're def looking for her. She's not hard to understand, she only wants you to constantly text her and check up on her, take her to that concert of her fav musician and she will go to the moon and back for you!. She'd really love it for you to compose a song about her and get along with her friends too!.
In love she acts like a kid actually, gifts you little notes and whatnot and makes you listen to all her gossip for the day😂💕😩.
♋ Venus in Cancer:Let's all say"baby 🍼" together. 1.......2.......3....... BABY!!😂.
Such a softie. All she wants is for you to give her your time. Stay indoors together,cook, cuddle on the couch, little hugs here and there. She wants you to understand her and be able to cope with her feelings' . she kinda gets attached too soon if you do all these for her and starts thinking of having a family life with you😭. Imagining how the kids will be running round' the courtyard waiting for their Papa to get back 🤭. So cheeky . pls don't hurt her😭. In love, she thinks with her heart considering how you treat her and your relationship with her family and yours as well ❤️🩹 and how private you can be!
♌ Venus in Leo:Let's all say "actress" together. 1.......2.......3...... ACTRESS!!!.
Uhh 😬 she is an actress ! She doesn't like when you don't notice her new lipstick 💄 or her new outfit! It upsets the hell outta her. She wants you to be like "WOAH 😳😳😨 You look so gorgeous 🥰!! even if she just woke up😒😂. Likeee she's literally so dramatic because she wants your attention and she wants to be the only thought in your head 😆. She wants you to show her off to the world. Stand on the railroad and shout " this is my girl...... stay away cos I love her!!🤭😒.
She wants to be the mother of your kids and live a life of fun with you. Forget the fact that she's always dramatic, she will stand by you!.
♍ Venus in Virgo: Let's all say Ma'am together.1.......2......3...... MA'AM!!! .
Oh my word!! How perfect she thinks she is amazes the world 😂. She literally wants everything step by step 🪜. Their love for procedure is something to admire. . So she wants everything according to her *to do list* and you better not wear dirty clothes when coming to pick her up cos she will sniff you out lol 😂. In love she'll literally remember every single detail of you, what you like, your type of coffee, your fav color etc, she'd help you out with daily stuff and problems like where to shop, what brand to buy, cleaning your apartment, paying for stuff etc. Virgo venuses are so clean wtf . She would help you with chores while scolding at the same time lol 😂 , make sure you're fine and don't eat junk!, takes you for check up everytime 😚🤭. The 💊 pills she gives are love portions 🥺☺️
♎ Venus in Libra: Let's all say "woman" together. 1......2.....3..... WOMAN!!!
Ooh yeah!😆👠this is a typical woman!. She is pretty, she is accommodative, she is nice, she is all. The downside of this could be that she is too tolerating . All she wants from you is that you act like a real man, take up your responsibilities, defend her and treat her right! This baby doesn't really need much 🥺 she just want the basic things and nothing more. In love she is level headed and balanced. Pls marry her😭.
♏ Venus in Scorpio: Let's all say "Miss intense" together. 1.....2....3.....MISS INTENSE!!!.
Hmm this lady wants all of you, your soul your life, your body , your commitment and your cash 😭😂 lol.
She wants you to be all in or all out. She wants to be the first to hear that secret you haven't told a soul. She wants collaboration. She wants to work with your whole being in sync with her. She wants to share everything with you that you guys can't differentiate what's who's anymore.... She is an invader into the depths of your heart 😭🫀. She loves, she really loves!!.
♐ Venus in Sagittarius:Let's all say "adventuress". 1.....2....3.... ADVENTURESS!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW 🔥 . This ladies are soooo on fire 🔥. And her sense of humor is top notch 👌😊. I assure she will make your life fun 😂. The type to wanna have long talks and gossips in between . Be mentally rich in all her fav topics and she would never leave you. She is the type to experiment with people though! She might date you because she wants to write a research on how fat guys behave on dates 😂😂. Apart from these all she might be very religious though and won't hear a word against her beliefs. I mean she is so intelligent 🧠🤓 omg 😱. In love, she would take you round the world or round her imaginations 🤭.
♑ Venus in Capricorn:Let's all say "Boss" together. 1..... 2.... 3... BOSS!!!.
This is a high class babe 😚 she ain't gonna lower her standards so work harder. In love she knows what exactly she wants and she won't settle for less! She might be a well known lady or someone people look up to. She's strategic and knows when to make the right hit 🎯. She's handled responsibility at a young age and now she's very much refined. If you met her in her thirties you might think she's lying 😚🤭. Practical and long term are the words.
♒ Venus in Aquarius: Let's all say "eccentrika". 1....2....3....ECCENTRIKA!!!
She does love you! Yes she loves you but. with a little bit of hesitation!😉 Because she remembers that the internet told her not to trust no one 😂. In love, she acts too normal... which is dislikable😭, so most people say shes detached and whatnot 🤕 but . She loves techy stuff and all, new age technologies are glued to her eyeballs. If you wanna get her?be in her friend group first, buy her a headphone, talk to her and follow her on Instagram, like and repost her stuff😂😂😂😂 and fight for what she fights for 😭.
♓ Venus in Pisces: Let's all say "Too Good" together. 1....2.....3.....TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE".
She's too good too be true, too soft to be true, too dreamy to be from this world. She's all too good 🌬️🍃. She's too forgiving, too 🙂 nice makes me wanna 😭 cry. In love she will live/die for you. She will go the extra mile if she has to. Love makes her kinda high. She will tolerate you and will feel what you feel. She's too lazy to stay mad at you for long 😂🥰 She gets addicted to love eventually. If you cheat on her she knows, gets depressed 😔 and forgives you, that's how much she loves you 😭
She loves with all her heart 🫀and brain 🧠. She's so pretty 🌬️.
Hold on I'll answer your ask! 😭
©Victoryai2025
Don't steal my work and don't repost on other apps
#astro observations#astrology#astrology observations#solar return#lunar return#solar return observations#ascendant in solar return chart#astrology community#astro community#©victoryai#@victoryai
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | masterlist!
Dbf! Joel Miller x female reader
"God loves you but not enough to save you,"
summary: In the small town near Austin, Texas, you are trapped in a life of rigid expectations and silent suffering. As the preacher's daughter, you endure the mental and physical abuse of your father while your mother, bound by obedience, offers quiet love. Your longing for a father's warmth finds an unexpected solace in Joel Miller, your father's best friend and neighbor. In Joel's presence, you discover a forbidden sanctuary, where your yearning heart is met with a gentle strength you've never known.
warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, pedophilia, cannibalism, human trafficking, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡
❝ to my love, Joel.
,...found you just to tell you that I made it real far, i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did.
while you were torn apart, i would still wait with you there.
don't think about it too hard, honey. or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.
and don't worry about me and these green eyes,
baby, just know that i love you. and i'll see you when you get here.
i love you forever, Joel... ❞

THE PLAYLIST! (on spotify)👰🏼♀️
the preacher's daughter ▪️ dbf! joel miller
MASTERLIST!🐇
Chapter 1: "But I always knew in the end, no one was coming to save me,"
Chapter 2: "Because that's how my daddy raised me,"
Chapter 3: "I watched him show his love through shades of black and blue"
Chapter 4: "He looks like he works with his hands, and smells like Marlboro reds,"
Chapter 5: "Because for the first time since I was a child, I could see a man who wasn't angry,"
Chapter 6: "Let him make a woman out of me,"
Chapter 7: "You wanna fuck me right now?"
Chapter 8: "The fates already fucked me sideways,"
Chapter 9: "Christ, forgive these bones I'm hiding,"
Chapter 10: "and that's why I could never go back home,"
Chapter 11: "I don't care where as long as you're with me,"
Chapter 12: "If it's meant to be, then it will be."
Chapter 13: "Beautiful people, beautiful problems."
Chapter 14: "You put your hands into your head, and then smile cover your hearts."
Chapter 15: "Something's bad is 'bout to happen to me,"
Chapter 16: "Tag, you're it."
Chapter 17: "If he's a serial killer then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?"
Chapter 18: "He's cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed"
Chapter 19: "Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise,"
Chapter 20: "You poor thing, sweet, mourning lamb. There's nothing you can do."
Chapter 21: "If we die tonight, I'd died yours."
Chapter 22: "I'm always going to be right here, no one's going anywhere"
-THE END-

read it on wattpad!
the preacher's daughter by babyvenoms
ENJOY! and if you guys have any like visuals to this, or art that you made for this I would love to put it here, just let me know! thank you!! 🩵
#dbf!joel miller x reader#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal#joel miller#the last of us#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#the last of us hbo#dark!joel miller x reader#dbf!joel miller#joel miller the last of us#ethel cain#lana del rey#southern gothic#joel miller age gap#tommy miller#joel tlou#ellie williams#tlou#tlou hbo#joel miller x you#pedro pascal x you#preacher's daughter
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"I Want Your Dad, Too!"
જ⁀➴ Boyfriend's Dad : Day 1



feat. Harwin Strong, Jacaerys Velaryon ᯓ★ You have a problem with your boyfriend's performance in the bedroom. Luckily, his dad is here to teach him a couple of tricks to keep you satisfied!
warnings! : NSFW 18+, modern au, consensual cuckolding, himbo-coded Jace, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, stomach bulge, squirting, creampie
ᯓ★ kinktober m.list || read on ao3
You had a problem. A huge problem.
Well, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t really that big of a problem, but to you, with oh-so-few cares in the world, it was.
Your boyfriend was really bad at fucking.
Like. Really bad.
It was pissing you off. You love Jace, but that man was never going to make you cum.
You had decided that today was the day that you were going to sit down and talk about it with him. You weren’t that shallow that you would break up with him over his lack of skills in the bedroom, but you really couldn’t handle shitty two minute sex for the rest of your life.
You take a deep breath before knocking on his front door.
When the door opens, it’s not Jace who greets you, but his dad.
Harwin Strong stands tall before you in all his glory. The first time you met his dad was only a few weeks after you and Jace started dating, and he was eager to introduce you to his parents. One look at Harwin and you knew instantly why you swooned over Jace the second you met him. Not only was he incredibly handsome, but he was kind, too. From the glimpses of how he was with Jace’s mom Rhaenyra, back when they were together, you could tell that he was a great husband, too.
You would be lying if you didn’t sometimes fantasize it was him fucking you when Jace couldn’t coax an orgasm out of you. There was no doubt that Harwin knew how to make a woman fall apart in pleasure.
“H-hi, Mr. Strong,” you greet him, the embarrassment from your thoughts much more prominent than you wanted to come across. “Is Jace here?”
“Told you to just call me Harwin, love,” his deep voice croons out, a sparkle in his eye and a smile adorning his features. “He’s up in his room, told me you would be coming.”
The way he looks so intently at you causes your cheeks to heat up involuntarily. It’s as if he sees right through you, like he knows exactly the reason why you’re here right now.
“Don’t have too much fun,” he winks at you and pats your shoulder gently as you pass by him up to the familiar path to Jace’s room.
You fan at your cheeks, hoping that Harwin didn’t notice the way heat rose to them, and that Jace won’t notice now as you knock on his door.
It flings open as you’re still knocking, causing you to jump back, startled.
“Babe! Sorry! Thanks for stopping by, I actually had something kinda important to talk to you about.”
“So did I. Do you mind if I go first?” You plop yourself down onto his bed, making yourself comfortable for what you anticipate to be an uncomfortable conversation.
Jace smiles, taking a seat beside you. “’Course not. What did you need?”
You take a deep breath. This was it. You hoped that Jace was receptive to what you were about to tell him. He was always so sweet, not like other guys who got bruised egos and blamed it on women when they couldn’t keep their dicks hard for more than a minute. You didn’t know what you were going to do if Jace didn’t handle it well.
“It’s about, um, our sex life. I didn’t want to bring it up right away because I wasn’t sure if you were just nervous or something, but—” you huff, “—well, I guess to be frank, you’re not really good. Like, you haven’t even made me cum once.”
A blush runs across Jace’s face, and he looks down as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I-I kinda figured that’s what you wanted to talk about. I also noticed it. It’s why I had my dad answer the door. I asked him if he could help us out. Well, I guess, more like help me out so I can be better. For you.”
You blink.
He blinks.
“O-oh!” You respond. This was quite an unexpected development. “Well, um, what did he say?” You tried not to sound too eager at the proposition.
“I mean, he was like, if you were cool with it, then he was fine with helping. Said something about how I was practically a failure of a boyfriend if I didn’t make you cum every time.” He looks down, avoiding your stare.
“Oh, hon, don’t say that.” You take his cheek in your palm, stroking it with your thumb. “You’re a great boyfriend! You just, well, can use some help in the bedroom.”
He lets out a sigh, and you continue. “This is why honest communication is important, right? I told you my feelings, you told me yours, and no one’s angry! Look at us, we’re doing really well at this couple stuff!”
Jace looks back up at you and smiles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. So what do you think? Of my dad, ah, demonstrating.”
Your legs practically quiver at the thought of getting fucked by your boyfriend’s dad—in front of him, no less. Jace was practically his dad’s clone. It would be like getting probably fucked by a much more matured and sexually attuned version of your boyfriend.
You gulp, ignoring the wetness between your thighs from your fantasies. “Y-yeah, I think that would really…help our relationship, right?”
He nods, and a silence passes between you two before Jace stands. “Let me go get—”
“No need.”
You both turn to voice to see Harwin standing, arms crossed and leaning in the doorway. “Glad you agreed, love,” Harwin says as he enters the room, closing the door behind him. “Jace has a lot to learn if he wants to keep you around.”
Harwin’s confidence has your pussy clenching in anticipation, and you can feel yourself getting wet just by the way you can imagine how good he’ll be making you feel.
“Have a seat, Jace. I’m going to show you how a man pleasures a woman.”
Jace gulps and nods, his cheeks dusting with a light red color as he takes a seat in his desk chair to let his father share the bed with you.
Harwin’s weight on the bed causes it to dip, and your body instinctively leans into his warmth as he wraps his arms around you.
“First thing you need to do,” Harwin starts, turning himself and you to face Jace, “is foreplay.” His hand drops beneath your skirt, his fingers grazing at your cloth covered pussy. You gasp at the sudden contact, your body arching itself into Harwin’s large chest. “Have you done that before?” Harwin asks, directing his question at Jace.
“I mean, I’ve touched her a little bit—”
“A little bit isn’t gonna cut it.”
Harwin lifts your skirt up so that Jace can see underneath it. Your boyfriend’s eyes widen at the sight of your pussy, practically dripping as Harwin strokes it with his thick fingers.
“See how wet she is?” Jace nods, his face turning even redder than before. Even through the haze of your pleasure, you can see the tent visible in his pants. “Have you ever seen her get that wet before?”
“No,” Jace murmurs, embarrassment evident across his features.
Harwin sighs. “You see, son, women are real delicate.” His fingers pet across your pussy, your arousal drenching your panties. “You need to take your time with them, get them all nice and ready for your cock.” His fingers start to tease at your entrance, your hips bucking up to meet them.
“It may feel good for you,” he continues, “but it won’t feel good for them ’till you can hear them loud and clear down there.” Harwin sticks two fingers inside of you. Your head falls back as you moan, your pussy squelching as Harwin moves his fingers in and out of you. Your wetness coating the entirety of his digits.
He pulls his fingers out, and you whine at the emptiness inside of you.
“Look at that, boy.” Jace leans in real close, eyes unblinking as he observes your arousal across his father’s fingers. “That’s how you know they’re ready.”
“Got it,” Jace nods. You can see him subtly adjusting himself in his seat, no doubt from his cock straining in his pants.
“Y-you can touch yourself if you want to, Jace,” you murmur and his eyes widen, surprised by how you noticed how much he was fighting the urge not to. “If I’m going to be feeling good, I want you to feel good, too.”
Jace’s hand lowers into his pants as Harwin lays you onto your boyfriend’s bed, flat on your back. “Now you’re ready to start fucking her.”
Harwin lowers his pants and underwear in one fell swoop, his hard cock releasing from its confines. As you glance up at his member, you gulp. Harwin is big. You don’t know how the hell that thing is going to fit inside of you.
“Need to lube yourself up before you do so. Her wetness can usually help.” Harwin scoops two fingers inside of you, and you clamp your hands across your mouth to stop yourself from your moan as he does so. You can hear him fist his cock, lathering it up with your wetness before he aligns it with your entrance.
You aren’t even sure if Jace is still watching as Harwin enters you, the heat of the stretch causing you to squeeze your eyes shut tight as his bulbous tip fills you up.
“It’s important to go nice and slowly at first. Get her used to the sensation before you start thrusting like a maniac.”
Harwin slowly, tortuously, inches his way inside of you, up until the base is flush against your entrance.
You finally open your eyes as Harwin fills you up entirely, looking down at the connection. You practically cum from the sight in front of you, the bulge of his cock protruding slightly from the plush of your stomach.
“Once she’s used to your size, you can finally do this.” Harwin pulls his cock out of you before slamming his entire length back in. You let out a noise between a scream and a moan as your back arches and your toes curl, your legs wrapping around Harwin as he begins to thrust in and out of you at a steady but fast pace.
“Oh, fuck,” you can hear Jace mutter from next to you.
As he fucks into you, Harwin moves a hand up to your clit. “You can’t just use your cock,” he explains to Jace. “You need to touch her clit.” As he begins to circle your clit, you moan at the sensation, eyes closing again as you relish in the pleasure.
Jace doesn’t verbally respond, and you can just picture him nodding along with what his dad says.
“This part is extra sensitive. You get this right, you’re guaranteed to make her cum.” Harwin is relentless in his strokes, his thick cock thrusting in and out of you as he fingers your clit simultaneously. The pleasure you’re feeling is something you could’ve only ever dreamed of before, having never even gotten remotely close to an orgasm with Jace or any of your previous boyfriends and flings.
“Fuck,” you hear Harwin mutter under his breath. His body leans down on top of you as his thrusts before even stronger. “This pussy’s so tight, keeps sucking me back in.”
It’s the first time since he stuck his cock into you that Harwin was actually talking to you and not to Jace, the deep gravel of his voice close to your ear causing you to shudder.
“Needed a real man to fuck you, is that right?” His voice is low enough that you’re sure Jace can’t hear it. Besides, you’re sure that he’s too preoccupied with stroking his own cock to listen, anyways.
Bleary eyed, you slowly turn your head towards the side where Jace sits. Just as you predicted, Jace’s hand is fisting his cock at a rapid pace. His head is thrown back, Adam’s apple bobbing as moans leave his lips. You feel heat rising to your cheeks seeing your boyfriend get off from you, until a hand squeezes your cheeks and forces your head forward, where you find yourself staring into Harwin’s eyes.
“He’s not fucking you right now,” he grunts. “Eyes on me, love.”
As he continues to thrust, Harwin places his body entirely on top of yours. Your legs push back, practically falling behind your ears. The loud pap, pap, pap of his skin making contact with yours is one of the loudest sounds in the room, only second to the squelching of your wet pussy as Harwin’s cock enters and leaves you.
Your senses are practically overloaded now, your nails digging into Harwin’s back as his cock fills you up so nicely. He still thumbs at your clit, the pleasure rising until an unfamiliar sensation develops inside of you.
“W-wait!” You cry out to him, “—f-feels weird!”
Harwin grunts, not stopping from his rhythmic thrusts. “You’re about to cum. Don’t worry, go ’head and cum on my cock.”
“No!” You shake your head. “It’s different!” You don’t have any more time to protest as liquid gushes out of you and a scream leaves your lips as you squirt, all across Harwin’s cock and his torso.
“First time squirting and it’s all over your boyfriend’s dad's cock. Dirty girl,” he croons, but you’re barely aware of your surroundings after your orgasm hits you so suddenly.
Your whole body shakes as the clear liquid gushes all around you. Your back arches as far as you think it can go, and Harwin’s hands on your waist are the only things keeping you from collapsing into the mattress. The man fucks into you as you lay limp in his grasp.
His thrusts begin to lose their rhythm as he grunts, and then you feel his cock pulse inside of you. A rush of warm liquid fills you up, an unexpected heat within your system. You groan at the sensation, his cock still hitting parts inside of you that were sensitive after your orgasm.
Once Harwin’s cum spills all inside of you, he slowly pulls out, your pussy clenching around air as the white cum dribbles outside of you, moving down your legs and onto the bed.
“How’s that for a lesson?”
Your head spins to the side as your eyes widen, having forgotten about Jace in the moment of your orgasm. Your boyfriend looks as much of a mess as you do. His curls stick to sweaty forehead, his face red and panting heavily. You can see his cum that spurted onto stomach, and his cock slowly softening after his release.
“R-really good. Informative. Yeah,” he answers breathlessly, chest heaving.
“Glad to hear it.” Harwin rubs your backside, sitting up on the bed. “We’re not done just yet, though. Still need to teach you about aftercare.”
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