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imnotwolverine · 4 years ago

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The Holiday

August Walker x reader one-shot

Disclaimer: Mostly fluffy fluff, with a sniff of smut and mention of injury.

Author’s note: I received this request from @cherrybloomn and how lovely it was to dream away of going on a holiday, especially since my current holiday plans have been postponed indefinitely - and I surely am not the only one who faces that problem right now. Please enjoy a little soft!August on a holiday with his wife, whilst cruising through the beautiful city of Rome. * melts *

(Link to my Masterlist)

“ La vita e bella, la vita e amore / Life is beautiful, life is love “

The Roman sun kissed the square as hundreds of tourists passed by, their sweaty faces trying to find a spot on the overflowing terraces. Rome was busy this weekend, a parade blocking parts of the city and making the sparse seats on the cobble stoned squares even more lusted after.

You sat back in your chair, a half smile gracing your lips as you watched the people ponder their next moves. Continue walking or wait for a table to free up? Your smile grew as you saw a pair of chubby Americans huff and puff, whilst trying to convince a poor waiter that they had reserved a table.

’No no no..’ The waiter shook his head, pointing to the door of the restaurant. ‘Only in-side.’ His English was so heavily accented, that the husband had to lean in closer to understand him over the loud noises of people laughing and chatting at the closely pressed together tables.

You looked onward, glad you had opted to wear a pair of large sunglasses and a white hat today, your face perfectly hidden from any curious onlookers. Besides.. your little getup matched rather well with your flowing knee-length white dress. Chic.. but simple.

Bringing a cup of scorching hot espresso to your lips you blew on it whistfully, your eyes further examining the happenings on this ancient square. Large white umbrellas were everywhere, keeping people shaded and comfortable as the sand coloured buildings basked in the hot sun. The sky was a crisp blue, no clouds drifting by to offer any relief from the strong August rays.

August.

Where was he anyways? It wasn’t like him to be late.

You took a pensive sip of the bitter, rich-smelling coffee, savouring the hot liquid kissing your tongue. It wasn’t often you got to drink such good coffee, so you would enjoy every tiny, minuscule sip of it. Sighing softly you licked your lips, placing the small cup back on the table so you could study the menu card. Plasticised and filled with poor English translations, you couldn’t help but grin at the section of “small bits”. Which probably should be small bites, but alas, none would be the wiser.

Movement. Peculiar movement. With half an eye you gazed over your menu card, seeing something that was obviously not an animal, moving with cat-like grace down one of the buildings. A..a man? Looking around without moving your head, your glasses still perfectly hiding your eyes, you checked if anyone else saw. But no, it seemed like people were too occupied with their food, drinks and each other.

Looking back at the man you found him already lost in the crowd. You frowned. Had you just hallucinated this? Did you have a heatstroke or something? Keeping your eyes trained on the spot where you had last seen the man - somewhere just above the first floor of one of the ancient buildings - you missed the fact someone now stood besides you.

‘Is this seat taken?’ A deep baritone made you look up from your studious gaze, your head slowly tipping towards the sky so you could look at him. Blue eyes that matched the cloudless heavens, a tumble of dark curls falling around a neatly trimmed face with moustache. Your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t show it, your face a mask as your eyebrows rose carefully above the edge of your dark sunglasses.

‘In..corrigible.’ You sniffled softly, moving to remove your bag from the chair. You could hear him chuckle in turn, an amused grin gracing his cupid bowed lips as he shirked off his sweaty blouse, the same blouse you had spotted on the man that was climbing down that building.

Before taking his seat he leaned over, moving close enough to kiss you, making you wait for him, head still tilted up.. but..he didn’t. You frowned again, then felt his fingers slip around your face, pulling your sunglasses from your face, warm eyes looking into yours.

‘Hello beautiful.’ He smiled.

You chuckled, then smiled in turn. ‘Hello husband.’ You hummed as he finally closed the distance, pressing a sweet kiss on your coffee-tinted lips.

‘I thought you wouldn’t come.’ You said as he took his seat next to you, his blouse discarded on the edge of the table. He shook his head, offering you a bemused glance as he took the menu from your hands, eyebrows raising as he checked out the menu items. ‘I promised I’d be here, though unfortunately a little later as the streets were in complete lockdown.’ He said simply, eyes cruising down the menu, a glimmer of amusement flickering over his lips as he probably noticed the same poor translations of the listed items, the sweat of his parkour-tour still gleaming on the edge of his forehead.

‘Hmmm..’ You hummed, smiling up at the sun, eyes closed, your skin smooth and warm in its rays. ‘So tell me..Why here?’ You asked.

You heard him grumble as you heard the sound of the card being placed back on the table. You raised an eyebrow, eyes slowly blinking open again, his blues hovering so awfully close next to you once more.

‘Well..’ He reached down his pocket, procuring a golden ring from it and taking your left hand, moving the item back on your ring finger - the place where it belonged. You sniffled and looked at the ring for a moment, the gold sparkling in the sun. Without a word you reached for the necklace around your neck, clicking it open so you could remove the ring that hung from it.

Before you could return the favour, he stopped you, his hand folding over yours, taking the ring and showing you the inscription. An inscription you knew well, but still. ‘Amor?’ You asked, not understanding what he was aiming at.

‘Anagram for..’ He offered. You smiled, sighing. ‘Roma.’

‘Assolutamente mia cara.’ He smiled in fluent Italian, his fangs sparkling in the sun. Your August in the August sun. You giggled and poked him playfully in the arm, to which his smile grew into an equally playful grin. Quickly he pushed the ring in his hand onto his finger, catching your hand so he could pull it towards his face, his lips pressing a most gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Your August.

—

Five years earlier.

This London bar was rowdy, but “hip”. Young professionals with their cool clothes sipping on far too expensive cocktails and half a litre pints, their bodies on the roam, looking for entertainment for the night. You had been sitting at this bar for a good twenty minutes now and you wondered if you had just been stood up, but was unwilling to accept your faith just yet.

Sipping on your red wine you felt an unwelcome hand brush down your back. Which in all fairness could be accidental, since this bar was busy, but.. it wasn’t. It travelled down further, before testingly squeezing the meat of your buttocks, making you frown before you quickly turned on your bar stool. Your eyes met with a man whose hands were already raised up in the air, his whole being acting as if he was all innocent though he clearly was anything but.

‘Fuck off!’ You growled, making him shake with laughter. ‘Oh come on lil’ bird. I dinno do nuthin’!’ He feigned shock, pressing his hands into his chest. ‘Truly! Knights honour!’

‘Just fuck off will you?’ You warned, turning back around, not in the mood for these kind of shenanigans. You were supposed to be having this blind date with a man who, according to your best friend, was like “the perfect match” for you. Smart, suave, handsome. And..as of right now..not here.

Did he forget? Or was he maybe at a different bar, waiting for you too?

Another hand slipped around your waist and the annoying man was back for round two.

‘Hey baby, looks like you could use some cheerin’…’

‘FUCK OFF.’ You bit back, looking at him with seething eyes. He chuckled again, not willing to stand down and heed your more-than-clear warning. ‘Or what..sugar? Hmm.’ He laughed, pulling his whole arm around you and trying to squeeze himself in between the bar stools.

Thankfully, he couldn’t, the man on your right now turning around, picking up on the little kerfuffle.

‘Mate. Time for you to leave.’ He said, standing up and towering a good few inches above the other man. The annoying laugh died right on his lips as he looked up at the man, the man’s height not being the only advantage; he was much broader in build and from the looks of it he could pack a mean punch.

With the blink of an eye the annoying man disappeared into the crowd, the large man sinking back down on his seat, his hand moving back to his drink. A scotch or something equally honey-coloured and strong. You muttered a thanks and quickly looked back at the door as it swung open, another man entering.

‘Waiting for someone?’ The large man asked, fingers now wrapping around the tumblr glass. You stretched your neck to check the new-comer, deciding that wasn’t your date either. You shrugged, annoyance laying thick in your voice as you responded. ‘A date.’

‘Hmm..when should he arrive?’ His brows furrowed in honest curiosity, his deep blue eyes studying you. You quickly looked away, your hand gripping your glass of wine more tightly. A pained smile crossed your lips before you quickly retorted. ‘Pff..that’s not of interest to you, good sir. Thanks for the help though.’ You nodded. ‘Good night.’

You turned away from him a bit, nervous lips taking a sip of the wine. But you could still feel those mysterious eyes of his, burning into the back of your skull.

What you didn’t see was that he was in fact no longer looking at you, his eyes now roaming around the bar, studying the crowd.

He hummed, his voice so deep and strong you could still hear him loud and clear. ‘Hmm..did he happen to mention that he’d be carrying anything with him?’

You frowned, turning on your seat to look at him with a mild confusion. ‘What?’

The man shrugged. ‘A..rose? By any chance?’ He smiled, then nodded at a man that was clearly trying to hook up with a brunette whose boobs were near falling out of her dress. A dress that was very similar to yours. A dress you had described for him to find. Oh you have got to be kidd...

You gasped, studying the two for another hot second before you turned your angry and clearly shocked gaze at the stranger next to you. You felt quite hurt, having sat here for twenty minutes, only for your date to apparently be hooking up with a girl just a few meters away. Feeling the embarrassment burn on your cheeks, you quickly slipped of your bar stool, taking your wine in your stride and disappearing in the crowd, hoping the dance floor would offer you some relief.

Well. It didn’t. After being pushed and pulled around, your wine near spilling over for at least a dozen times, you quickly emptied your drink and left the bar, a London-esque drizzle making you shiver in your winter coat.

You had just called a cab and, seeing one stop right in front of the club, made you jump with delight. Your cab! Your…eh…hold on! You gasped as two other guests quickly jumped in your cab, the door already swooshing closed before you could start to protest.

This really wasn’t your night. Growling in quiet frustration you decided to forgo calling a new taxi, your tired feet clicking on the pavement as you started to walk home. And of course, as things seemingly couldn’t get worse..it started to rain.

The thick cold water dripped heavily into your hair, slipping down your burning hot face. Hot with alcohol, dancing and..well..embarrassment. Your friend would sure get to hear all about this, because hot damn what an awful night it had been.

*SSWLIP*

An umbrella opened above your head. The frown on your face grew as you looked up, your tired brain taking a good moment to realise what was happening. First you saw the big black umbrella that was now shielding you from the rain. Then it was the face of that stranger again, his body now sporting a thick, dark grey wool trench coat and scarf. Quite dandy in combination with his neatly coiffed lob of curls and moustache.

Sighing you shook your head. ‘I really don’t need a..-‘

‘Let’s eat a slice of pizza and wait for the rain to pass then?’ He smiled, nodding at a 24/7 pizzeria just across the street. You frowned again, then felt your stomach growl at the mere thought of eating. Besides, you didn’t REALLY want to get wet.

‘Only pizza.’ You finally agreed, looking at his unfazed smile, his head nodding ever so slightly in agreement.

—

The Roman sun was losing its force as it sank down beneath the rolling hill tops, the scattering of ruins you were walking through being kissed with a golden hue. It was a perfect afternoon, most tourists having moved to see the parades, leaving you and your dear August in a relative quiet as you strolled through town.

You had never been in Rome before, so with true amazement you looked up at the huge pillars and foundations that lay before you, indicating just how huge these buildings had been. You could imagine the life here. How the streets must have bustled with markets and people dressed in rich silks, going about their daily business. What would it have smelled like? Tasted like? Looked like? You knew how colourful it probably had been - you had picked up a thing or two in college and the initial thought of pale white marble statues and buildings had long been debunked. Rome had been colourful. A melting pot of cultures, spices, people.

Just like it was right now, you thought, walking over a small pedestrian bridge with August’s arm wrapped around your waist, his large physique keeping you snug and safe.

Beneath you a slow river streamed, its sound muffled over the laughter of playing children, running over the bridge, dodging around the few tourists that walked here. You smiled, seeing their happy faces, the remains of a previously devoured ice cream still sticking to their lips and noses.

You could feel his gaze on you, his arm pulling you even tighter towards his chest. You looked up, both your feet halting for a moment as your eyes met, his free arm moving to cup your cheek, tilting your head just so he could look at you better.

You had removed your hat and sunglasses now the sun was no longer burning into your heated skulls, offering him free access to your face whenever he pleased. He smiled, admiring eyes brushing over you.

‘How about..dessert first?’ He asked, a smirk playing at his lips. You raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on his broad chest. ‘To what do I own such pleasure, hmm?’ You jested. He quirked up a playful eyebrow, making the tumble of curls on his forehead shift. ‘Well, it’s our first holiday in..what was it..?’

‘Three whole years.’ You grinned, biting your lip.

‘And you still put up with me.’ He sniggered.

‘And you with me.’ You laughed, poking him, to which he growled, his strong arm pulling you flush against his chest, the hand cupping your cheek now holding you with a certain possessiveness. Leaning down he brushed his lips over yours, your lips curling up in an amused chuckle, to which he bit down in your lip, his tongue quick to sooth whatever sting he caused. Which.. was exactly what August was. A playful combination of tender dominance, pain and pleasure working together in a heady mixture of love.

He leaned back ever so slightly, a cheshire grin gracing his beautiful lips. You smiled. ‘Mmm..I do know what I want as a real dessert.’

He hummed in agreement. ‘Mm-mmm. I can’t wait.’

—

Your apartment was quiet and the curtains were drawn, the bedroom smelling slightly tangy. Of blood, sweat and bitter medicine. Slipping inside you noticed he had not moved since you last checked on him, his body still propped in the pillows, eyes closed, arms folded over the blanket at either side of his body.

Your dear August.

How scared you had been when you learned he had gotten entangled in a cross-fire, your year-long boyfriend now suddenly so fragile and pale under the white sheets. But, you knew this was as much a part of him as you were. You knew who he was, what he did..and this..well this could happen.

With silent steps you moved around the bed, placing the tray with chamomile tea and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on the side table. His favourite cookies. You could hear him breathe in more deeply, his eyes still closed as he sniffled his nose, a grumble rumbling through his large chest. You smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed, moving to cup his cheek in your left hand.

‘Hey.’ You said softly.

‘Hmm..’ He hummed, eyes slowly opening. You smiled a sad smile, studying his face, seeing how tired he still was despite the weeks of rest, his skin still slightly pale and his beard grown out slightly. And yet, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter at the idea that he was alive and healing, make you beam with pride and happiness.

‘I missed you.’ He hummed, his voice croaking.

‘I was only in the kitchen.’ You admonished, your lips curling in a smile.

‘Mhm.’ He agreed, the mirth clear in his hazed blues. Slowly he moved his eyes to side glance the new treasures on the side table, his smile growing when he noticed the cookies.

‘Hmm.’ He smiled in satisfaction, his eyes moving back to you, the haze clearing, but instead making place for a darker hue.

Your breath choked as his hand reached down your arm, taking your hand and pulling it over his shoulder, making you topple over him.

Even when severely wounded, he easily out-weighed you in strength, your other hand having to shoot up to steady yourself before you crashed right on top of his chest.

Suddenly you were hovering so close to him, your lips near inches removed from one another. He smiled, looking up into your eyes, waiting for you to kiss him. In fact he almost seemed to test you, his smile holding a teasing glint.

‘What?’ You smiled in turn, raising a testing eyebrow.

‘You smell of cookies.’ He breathed, deciding he couldn’t wait, a grunt leaving his lips as he pushed himself up, his lips locking with yours. You wished to push him back in the pillows, but he didn’t let you, his lips instead murmuring in sweet delight: ‘And you taste of them too.’

—

After your city stroll you found yourself sitting on some clanky plastic chairs, a large carafe of wine placed on the wobbly table. You weren’t quite sure why August had been so adamant on eating here, of all places, but at least the pizzas on other people’s plates looked good. Besides, it was super busy and that’s usually a good sign when you eat in some back-way street.

A waiter took your order, August taking it upon himself to order for you both, as his Italian was far better than yours. The waiter jotted something down on a little note block and smiled at you and August, his feet quickly moving to help some of his other guests.

‘Now dear wife. I’d like to introduce you to the best pizza in town.’ August smiled, raising his wine glass to his lips. You scrunched your nose, looking around, confusion clear on your face as you looked at the plastic tables that were squeezed together in this little alleyway.

‘Mmkay..So what’d you order?’ You asked suspiciously.

‘Your favourite.’ He said, smiling happily as the confusion on your face grew. ‘I have a favourite?’

—

‘Sorry love, we’re all out of salami.’ The man behind the 24/7 pizza counter shrugged.

You scowled, pressing your lips together in thought as you looked over the other slices behind the counter, the people in the line behind you sighing in impatience. You were really not one for making fast, pressured decisions. Especially not when you were having an off-day.

‘Quite your lucky day.’ His voice sounded behind you before he stepped in, following your gaze to also look at the slices. He leaned his umbrella on the tile floor and pointed at one of the slices.

‘A slice of Bufala please.’ He nodded at the man and with a few swift movements the slice was moved over the glass counter, the man behind the counter now looking back at you, expectantly. The umbrella-wielding stranger smirked and looked over his shoulder, seeing your puzzled face.

‘Try a bite.’ He said, offering you his slice of pizza.

‘Naa..’ You waved him off, scrunching your face even more. ‘I want…mmm…I want ehh-.’

‘Try it.’ He repeated, more pressingly.

You looked up at him, then at the pizza, your stomach growling at the sight. The smile on his face grew as he raised a challenging eyebrow, noticing you were about to accept his offer. You frowned, but gave in, moving to grab the slice from his hand anyways. ‘Don’t think you’ll get a bit of my slice in turn.’ You warned.

He chuckled and shook his head. ‘Try. It.’

You kept your eyes trained on his mysterious blues, your mouth taking a tiny hesitant bite of his slice of pizza. And hot damn was it a good bite. You hummed, closing your eyes for a moment before you quickly shrugged yourself out of this exposition of utter delight. Opening your eyes again you were met with an amused grin on the strangers face, his hand carefully prying his slice of pizza from your clutches.

‘Fine. I’ll have one of those too.’ You muttered, looking at the man behind the counter who sighed in relief, his arms moving up to aim at the sky, waving them about with a sense of drama. ‘Mamma Mia! We have a converter! One Bufala coming up for the lady.’

You rolled your eyes, then thanked the man after you and the stranger both paid for your slices.

—

A pizza was put on the small, square plastic table, it’s sheer size big enough to nearly fill the whole surface. It was actually quite difficult to squeeze in the carafe of wine and two sets of cutlery, but you and August managed. Chuckling you took a sip of your wine as August started to cut the pizza into slices.

It sure did look like an amazingly delicious pizza. A thin but sturdy crust, fresh dollops of buffalo mozzarella that had just melted on top of a rich tomato sauce. A few sprinkles of fresh basil and ..that was it. Simple but truly delicious.

Yep. This was your favourite.

‘I see.’ You nodded.

‘You like what you see?’ He smirked. You looked up, meeting his hungry gaze, though this time it wasn’t for pizza. It was for you.

‘Always.’

—

You and the stranger squeezed yourself in on a red leather bench that ran along the wall of the narrow 24/7 shop, the place completely filled with fellow late-night snackers. Finding a good spot, sitting close and shoulder-to-shoulder you dug into your cheesy slices of heavenly goodness, your eyes taking the time to study the small pizzeria.

You were sitting at tables covered in plastic red-white checkered table cloths, bright TL-lights flickering atop your heads and the air permeating with the welcoming smell of the pizza oven in the back. Smokey, cindering hot..cosiness.

You felt the strangers arm shift next to you, his mouth catching a string of cheese that was trying to escape. You chuckled quietly, but quickly looked away when he noticed your gaze. Instead you looked at the other late night snackers. Fellow Londoners who talked so loudly you barely could hear your own thoughts. Truly..Brits weren’t the most charming of drunk people around. You snickered as one of the girls shrieked when some of the toppings of her pizza dropped down in her décolletage. Which truly..wasn’t a surprise as she was so busty you could probably stuff a few whole pizzas in there.

You looked back at your pizza. Cheesy, tomatoey goodness with quite the perfect crust. Crunchy, but chewy. With another hum you bit into your pizza, your eyes continuing to wander..though this time at the mysterious stranger besides you. A lock of curls flopped over his forehead, and just below his nose that silly moustache that kind of worked for him. And mind you, his smell which was overwhelmingly sexy somehow.

He noticed your gaze again, his tongue flicking over his glimmering lips before he locked his eyes with yours. Your pizza slowly lowered, near forgotten, as your eyes remained locked with his. He swallowed back the last of his bite, his pizza also forgotten as your eyes and his eyes were all there were in that moment.

‘Hi.’ You blurted out, immediately scolding yourself for being so stupid. What was wrong with you?!

A quick smile washed over his lips before his eyes flicked for the shortest moment to your lips, then back to your eyes. His intention was clear and your breath choked, you eyes blinking as you saw him lean into you in near slow-motion. Closer…closer..closer. His blue eyes drowning out everything around you, until you felt a tickle on your upper lip. His moustache, the whiskers coarse on your tender skin. You shivered, feeling the softness of his warm lips on yours. And then his tongue flicked out, this time to caress your lips, first brushing over your upper lip before begging entrance.

You didn’t even know his name. But heck. The kiss deepened and you felt yourself getting swept away, body melting into his, your breath choking in this sweet, midnight..pizza-bliss.

—

‘Fuck kitten.’ He growled as he pushed the white dress off your shoulders, your lingerie immediately being admired by his roaming hands, his lips not leaving yours as he pulled you through the little hallway of the hotel room. He didn’t even bother to flick on the lights, his and your feet shuffling awkwardly past the furniture until you found the bed, your bodies tumbling on top of the bouncy mattress.

You let out an airy chuckle, feeling his body crawl on top of yours like it had a hundred times. Familiar calloused finger tips caressing your skin, the alcohol buzzing through your veins, your belly filled with a shamefully large amount of good food. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

‘One...’ He pressed a kiss on your belly. ‘..whole..’ His hot breath trailed up, his facial hair scratching and burning up your skin whenever you pushed air in your excited lungs. ‘..month.’ He whispered, pulling the cup of your bra down so he could lather your nipples with equally blazing trails of kisses. You snickered, fingertips brushing through his curls, legs looping around his strong thighs.

‘I missed you so much.’ You muttered, shivering beneath his wanton touches. Gods you missed him. This.

He hummed, then moved up, his dark timbre now suddenly so very close to your ears. You could nearly hear him smile. In fact you just knew he was smiling, his breath brushing over your cheeks.

‘And now ..for dessert…’

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close. ‘Mmm…More like..for starters.’

Another Author’s note: Why Rome for me?

2017. My boyfriend had one simple task..and that was ordering plane tickets for our holiday to Greece. Little did he know he forgot to check the “direct-flights” check box and next thing you know you are spending 12 hours on an airport near Rome. Not wishing to waste our precious holiday we booked train tickets and traveled to the city centre. What followed was a magical few hours running past tourist attractions to eat as much as we possibly could. Yes, my dear readers, that is love.

Tips:

- Best gelato (ice cream) - Gelateria del Viale - try the lemon flavour!! The texture’s so perfectly creamy and the slightly bitter, rich lemon flavour quenches your thirst like nothing else can.

- Best pizza (REALLY THOUGH) - Dar Poeta - the place looks clanky and cheap. But dear gods are their pizzas good. Later at the airport we found someone walking around with one of their pizza boxes; “I’m taking it home to my wife.” So yes; eat their pizza when you’re in town. You won’t regret it.

Tagsquad: @tumblnewby @magdelen69

#august walker fanfic #august walker x reader #august walker reader #august walker fanfiction #mission impossible au #romance #the holiday #oneshot #fanfiction #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #romantic #food #love #soft!august #august walker fluff #fluff

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xxisxxisxxis · 5 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Four

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Three

Word Count: 4.4k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Mentions of drug abuse, Explicit sexual situations

A/N: To the anon that asked about the pictures before chapters, I gave it a shot. Let me know what you guys think. Cintia Dicker is who I've always imagined as Viv (only difference is Viv has green eyes and Cintia has blue). Have a good night guys!!

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"...We're about to go on in a couple minutes, we're already late." Duff tells me, frustrated, after explaining everything he, Izzy, Axl, Slash, and Steven have endured ever since they left L.A. to embark on their first little tour as a band, along the west coast.

The first stop was his home town, and everything from losing equipment, losing their only form of transportation, hitch hiking in suffocating heat, spending all the money shared between them for a ride, and anything else that could go wrong, happened all under 24 hours.

After getting the full run down on what all had happened once they got back home, I decided the devil works hard, but Guns N' Roses work harder.

"Well, I wish I could have gone but I'm trying to get Nikki to acknowledge Vince before they start touring." I tell him, scrubbing at a soapy dish, the kitchen phone caught between my ear and my shoulder.

"Still?"

"He offered Vince blow the other day, after Vince just got out of jail, and is supposed to be sober. It wasn't blow. It was smack." I explain.

"Oh my God, that's fucked." Duff tells me.

"Him and Tommy thought it was the funniest thing ever so I replaced all their blow with unscented baby powder and flushed the real thing." I explain and he laughs. "They've been wondering why their blow is 'broken'."

"Now, is that what Jesus would do?" He asks jokingly.

"God gave me the idea. I did it. I am a good and faithful servant." I state and he laughs again.

"Oh, I gotta go, Viv." He tells me.

"Alright, good luck." I say, hearing Steven say "Hey, Viv!"

"Steven says 'hey'." Duff lets me know and I smile to myself.

"Tell him I said, 'hey'."

"I will. I'll talk to you again whenever I can." He assures me. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Bye."

"Bye-bye."

We both hang up and I rinse the dish I've been working on and place it in the dish wrack.

Glancing at the clock to see it's 8:00pm, Nikki should be back from the studio soon.

I finish up on the dishes and go take a shower since I've been stress cleaning and sweating a little.

By the time I get out and get lounging clothes on, Nikki and Tommy are in the kitchen talking, and go silent when I come in

"Hey, babe." Nikki tells me innocently, he and Tommy exchanging mischevious looks.

"What?" I ask them, glancing between the two of them.

"So...I was thinking..." Nikki starts. "...You know how you told me not to buy the vette last year, right? Because it only had two seats and we might have kids down the line and it's not really a family car."

"Yeah." I reply, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Well, because I'm a responsible husband and a happy wife equals a happy life, I made an investment." He tells me and I cross my arms.

"What kind of investment, Mr. Sixx?" I roll my jaw.

"Well..." Nikki trails off, and I'm darting for the front door before he or Tommy can grab me.

I swing the front door open to see a brand new jeep in the driveway.

"Nikki Sixx!" I spin around and he and Tommy wince a little. "You bought a car?! Another one?!"

"The vette's are the town cars, baby, the jeep is for more practical use."

"Like the motorcycle in our garage is for 'nights out with the guys'?"

"Exactly!" Tommy pipes in.

In a matter of seconds, I'm chasing Nikki back into the house.

"I'm going to kill you!" I threaten him.

"Tommy, grab her!" Nikki laughs out, which only makes me even more upset that my frustration is amusing to him.

Tommy misses me buy a few seconds before I'm jumping over the couch and tackling Nikki, straddling him and pinning him by his forearms.

"We don't have the money for a new car, Nikki!" I tell him, seriously.

"The album releases in two weeks, Viv. We've got more money than you think." He chuckles, assuring me, and I let out a breath as his eyes drift over my body, raising a brow at our position. "But I can pretend we're dirt broke if you promise to keep man handling me."

"Do I need to get you guys the video camera and leave you to it?" Tommy reminds us he's still here.

"Yeah, it's about time to add Volume Three to the collection, anyway." Nikki states, the corner of his mouth pulling up in his signature smirk.

Before your imagination runs wild, none of our sex tapes are still in existence. When Tommy and Vince's got out, I knew damn well I wasn't about to be best known for a sex tape(s)...

So they were all run over in the driveway and lit on fire.

"Speaking of the release," Nikki starts, nudging at me. "Our anniversary's the next week, but what're you wanting to do for a anniversary present—"

"—Your anniversary present is in the garage. And the driveway. And require insurance. And gas. And maintenance." I correct him and he rolls his eyes.

"I meant your present." He tells me. "What do think you might want?"

"I don't know." I shrug, then I remember what day our anniversary falls on, and slowly look at Nikki, my lips pulling into a smug smile.

I'm still not sorry for what I asked for, for our anniversary. But you know what? Hungover, slightly doped up from the night before, and exhausted, my trooper of a husband got himself together long enough to endure his own personal hell.

Nikki glares at me from behind his sunglasses as the preacher leads us into prayer and I nudge him with my elbow a little so he'll at least bow his head and pretend to care.

"Father in Heaven we pray, forgive us of our sins, Lord. God, we ask that you bless this message and prepare the hearts of those that need to hear it. I pray that you continue to watch over us, keep your hand upon us, and help us to be better. In Jesus' name I pray, amen."

"Amen." We all say, and Nikki scoffs out a mocking little snicker, making me elbow him and he raises his brows.

His smug look immediately falls.

I can't see his eyes but I know he's saying, "elbow me again and see what happens."

"If you turn in your Bibles to the book of Hosea, chapter three, verse one..." Brother Harting starts, and I take pick my jacket up from my lap to get my Bible from underneath it.

I flip to Hosea 3:1, and read along in my mind as he reads aloud:

"Then the Lord said unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine." He says, before looking up from the book. "To put it simply, for those of you not quite sure what that means, God is telling Hosea to marry a prostitute. The children of Israel at this time were beginning to stray from God and worship other gods and idols. They were not faithful to God. Like Gomer, Hosea's wife. I'm sure when he married her, he hoped she would stop selling herself and giving herself to other people." He explains. "Isn't it strange that so many of us assume marriage, or a child, will keep their significant other from giving parts of themselves to other people and other things when they were selling themselves to someone or something long before you even came along?" He chuckles out and I rub my lips together, a chord being struck within me. "God told Hosea to marry Gomer, and he did. But she didn't stay faithful. In fact, Hosea had to repeatedly go find her with other men and bring her back home. Now, God didn't tell Hosea to marry a woman that seemed like she could not, for the life of her, stay committed in the right path, to hurt him. God wanted to demonstrate how Israel was repeatedly unfaithful towards him. How we are all unfaithful to him at times, even when we don't realize it. Some of us even worship idols, and don't realize it. Obsession over money. Obsession over lust. Obsession over alcohol. If you are a workaholic..." He names a few examples.

"Cute, can we go now?" Nikki's grumbling under his breath to me and I don't even look at him, lacing my fingers through his, hoping to keep him quite like giving a baby a pacifier.

"I'm not saying wanting money, or having a drink with your dinner, or enjoying your work or really enjoying sex, is idolatry. It is when those things become addictive habits that consume your thoughts constantly, so much so, that you wake up one day and realize you haven't even acknowledged God in weeks. Some of us, months. For others, it's years. And when I say 'acknowledge God' I don't mean a little 'thank God' when something goes your way. I mean, getting in that comfortable space we all have when we can humbly approach God with all of our worries, concerns, hopes, dreams, and tell him about everything going on in our lives. When we take the time to talk to him like we would a friend. God wants to hear everything from us, whether it's something good that's happened, or something we need him to heal within us or help us with something we are struggling to do. He is never too busy." He smiles. "Hosea constantly chased and went after Gomer because he loved her. He made vows to God to marry her and he grew to love her. God loved the children of Israel, and he loves us. He used Hosea as a demonstration of how he always pursues and goes after his church when each of us stray, and let me tell you something, ladies and gentlemen, when Gomer got herself into a mess for the last time, she was about to be sold, like cattle. And Hosea went looking for her thinking she was up to her typical no good. But he came up on the auction she was being sold at. Keep in mind this woman had put him through years of hurt, and pain. He was exhausted, he was angry, he was broken...but he saw his wife about to be sold to men who would most definitely put her through hell, and Hosea suddenly couldn't see his wife's wrong doings. He just saw the woman he loved, the mother of his children, scared and in trouble. And he threw his hand up, and placed a bid for thirty pieces of silver on this woman. Six months worth of wages on a woman that seemed to do everything in her power to not be faithful to him."

"I think fucking not." Nikki doesn't even try to be quiet, causing a few people in front of us to quickly glance back at us.

I elbow him, harder this time, and he's grabbing at my wrist, harshly, pulling me to my feet.

Anger and frustration goes through me when he leads me through the double doors of the very small lobby.

"You're being a jackass." I hiss out the second he's pushed me into the ladies' room that consists of one toilet and a small sink.

"You're being a brat. You should be happy I even came to this bullshit." He snaps.

"One time isn't gonna kill you, Nikki. I'm surprised you're actually able to walk into a church and not burst into flames."

"Okay, fuck you!" He raises his voice and my hand is popping him in the chest before I can stop myself, "Shh!" flying past my lips.

His teeth grind together, and my thighs tense.

His hand is grabbing a fist full of my red locks, yanking my head back as he looks me in the eyes.

It's a slap in the face to him, but I can't help but let out a mocking chuckle, smiling up at him.

I completely disregard the fact we're in church, and my hands slide under his shirt, feeling his warm skin, my nails scratching down his sides.

He's letting go of my hair, reaching between us, and unbuckling his belt and tugging it out of his belt loops.

I squeeze my thighs together as anticipation starts building within my core, creating a slip between my thighs.

He's grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face the wall, shoving me forward.

My hands brace on the chipped, faint yellow paint, and he's yanking my hips back and spreading my legs while yanking my dress up and my panties down to rest around my ankles.

He gives me a moment of mercy, his hand reaching around to rub my clit while his leather restrained prick grinds against my ass, causing me to let out a quiet moan to avoid being heard.

Just as I start moving with his fingers, he pulls away.

"Bad girls don't get rewarded." He tells me smartly in my ear before I'm feeling heat radiate through my body after the sharp sting of leather hits my skin.

I take in a breath, arching my back, biting back another moan.

By the time he's finished with lick number ten, my ass is bright red and aching, and there's a mess of wetness rolling down my legs and dripping on the floor.

I hear his belt hit the floor and he unties the laces of his pants, causing me to hum with excitement as he reaches for my hair again and turns me around to pull me to my knees.

I lick my lips as my mouth begins to water at the sight of engorged veins, aching for release as he strokes himself a couple of times, his precum beading out of his tip.

I open my mouth and stick my tongue out eagerly, looking up at him with begging, green eyes, wanting to taste him.

He looks down at me with a little grin, like he's proud he's been able to screw the submission into his innocent little "my body's a temple" Saint Vivian and corrupt her in every way that she would allow.

He gives me what I want, swiping the tip of himself across my tongue. I don't think he's expected me to wrap my tongue and lips around him just yet because when I do, he's gripping onto the side of the sink with white knuckles.

I hungrily swallow down the liquid leaking from him, thriving under his praise as he says:

"God, you're so fuckin' hot."

I press teasing kisses to his tip, down the underside of his shaft, and his balls, and he damn near collapses when I run my tongue over them before tracing my tongue back up him and taking him in my mouth.

He grabs at my hair, creating a punishing pace that's got tears running from the corners of my eyes with each thrust that has him brushing against the back of my throat.

When he finally lets me catch my breath, a line of my spit holds from my lips to his cock, so I catch it with my fingers and use it to keep jerking him off.

My pussy is beginning to throb, needing something, anything to relieve the pressure.

The fingers of my free hand fall to my clit, but it isn't quite enough.

I believe I take "bitch in heat" to a whole other level when I pull my dress up and strategically arch my back and rest my legs on either side of Nikki's right foot.

He looks at me, a little confused before I spread my thighs a little more, causing my clit to rest against the curve of Nikki's boot where his ankle meets his leg.

My eyes roll back as I begin to move back and forth, slowly against him, while still keeping my hand moving up and down on his dick.

I don't open my eyes until I feel him lift the toe of his shoe a little bit, angling the part I'm straddling to rest against my soaked sex perfectly.

My eyes stare up at him, the nails of my free hand bite into the back of his lower thigh as I use him for leverage while beginning to move feverishly against him.

He takes over on himself, allowing me to hold onto his leg with both hands as he watches me like I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

Tears stream down my face as my orgasm builds, the only thing able to come out of my mouth is "Oh, fuck" and "Nikki" in the form of breathy whimpers.

When I come, my eyes screw shut, my body shutters and I completely soak Nikki's boot.

"Face, mouth, or tits?" Nikki asks me in regards to where I want his cum.

I swallow every last drop.

After making sure my crucifix wasn't crooked, my floral Sunday dress and matching heels were perfectly put back on and my hair looked like it had never been touched, Nikki and I pretended we hadn't had a little anniversary gathering in the bathroom and returned to service in time to hear that last tid bit.

In which Nikki was pissed about having to sit through, but I suppose he did anyway without any more complaints because he knew it was important to me.

"Hosea bought his wife back, like Christ bought all of us with his bloodshed on the cross. That being said, let's throw out the idea that God only chases after perfect Christians and everyone else is no good and going to hell anyway so it's the perfect Christians' job to tell everyone else they're going to burn forever." Harting states as Nikki and I slip back inside, and I scoff, thinking of my mother. "We are all sinners, people. I've known Christians that condemn just about everyone and then go home and do the equivelant of what they were condemning others for. You can't tell homosexuals they are going to hell and there is no hope for them, and then go out and have sex outside of marriage. Or say tattoos are a show of paganism and a sin and then go home and call up your friends to gossip about other people. You don't get to decide what is and isn't a sin to better suit your lifestyle. And just because someone isn't like you or doesn't think like you, does not mean they are any less worthy of God's love and a lot of Christians need to be careful who they damn to hell because God doesn't think like human's do. Our bodies, our flesh, and our mind's are imperfect and I'm affraid many of these holier-than-thou types are going to be shocked when they end up in a place they don't want to be when they die because they spent too much time alive being too hateful and worried about how other people are living, they never looked at themselves and worked on their own relationship with God and their salvation before minding other people's. Any born again Christian who truly has God in their hearts should never, ever, feel comfortable telling someone else they are going to hell. We can disagree with someone's choices and decisions or relationships and friendships or addictions and habits or view points and opinions, and love them. And respect them. And be kind to them. And treat them like human beings and if you're worried for someone's soul, pray for them as much as you want. We are here to love and uplift others. That is the way we as Christians are meant to be because that is the way God is with us. We do things all the time he doesn't like. But he loves us enough to continously chase after us and bring us back to him, and never give up on us. And that love is open to anyone willing to accept it."

He closes out his sermon and we sing one last hymn before closing out in prayer, and head back to the car.

"Well?" I ask him and he takes his sunglasses off and rubs his eyes.

"I don't know what was more adorable: seeing you all enthused over someone that doesn't exist, or seeing you have my dick in your throat during church." He pipes, laughing. "Oh, that would be cool game to play. I could be the Pervy Priest and you could be the Naughty Nun." He suggest, his hand squeezing at my thigh in a tickling motion and I squeal, fighting to get him to stop tickling me and he finally stops."It was a good message, though. He had a very nice way of saying, 'just mind your own fucking business, cunt face'."

"Shh, Nikki!" I cringe at him saying 'cunt' in the parkinglot of a church.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to swear in the Lord's driveway." He sarcastically apologizes and I shake my head a little and crank the car.

Later that night, Nikki heads to Robbin's place to score some smack and blow from his dealer, before we go out to dinner, and I'm stopping by to see Duff and the guys at their rehearsal.

The clicks of my heels sound against the bare concrete where stained up carpet as been ripped up.

I see two masses of teased, blonde hair in the corner by a drum kit, a fluff ball of black, curly hair laying in the floor wear sunglasses, and teased red hair.

"Duff." Izzy states, and I turn to see him on a holed up couch in the corner, cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Izzy." I acknowledge him.

"Viv." He replies in the same tone, not bothering to look up from his guitar.

"Yeah?" Duff asks, glancing over at him to see me. "Hey!" He immediately stops what he's doing to come over, the other three boys looking up at me as well. "What're you doing here?" He asks, hugging me, and I look up at him after seeing Steven coming over here.

"Nikki and I were about to go out for our anniversary and I decided to come by since I haven't talked to you in a couple weeks. But, um, I know you've been busy I just thought I would stop by." I explain, smiling when Steven's energetic vibe spills over to me when he squeezes me to him.

"Well, we were just taking a break if you wanna hangout for a little bit." Duff offers.

I glance at Axl over Duff's shoulder, seeing he's irritated, and I let out a breath.

My relationship with Axl was about how my relationship with Vince was.

We loved to hate each other.

But not because Axl was a pig like Vince was. But because he and I were the same exact person.

I don't know if it was the overzealous religious up bringing forced upon us, or our struggles with similar mental disorders, but we both had the same nearly uncontrollable temper.

We got along most of the time, our issue, though, was that we saw things differently, and would get into heated arguments.

The longer the band stayed together, the worse Axl got.

It became more and more about him, and not so much the band.

When Steven was fired for getting too deep into heroin (as if he was the only one in the band with addiction issues) Axl had the honor Robbin, Vince, and Doc, all had been given: my fist to his face.

He was trying his hardest not to punch me back as I yelled:

"I'm not in your fucking band, I'm not on your fucking payroll, so I have no problem telling you, you're a fucking piece of shit and you need a hell of a lot more help than what you're getting right now! You're acting like a trigger happy crazy person, you have got your band members paranoid about who's gonna go next and for the love of God, Axl, of all the ways you could have handled the man that has saved your wife's life not once, but twice, you fire him for doing something you idiots were glorifying three years ago?! Get your shit together, Rose, because you're getting fucking messy!"

I had quoted him, from when he said, "get your shit together, Sixx, because you're getting fucking messy" after Duff and I had nearly been caught by Nikki.

The entire time they were on tour with us, Axl was paranoid Nikki would find out Duff and I were friendly with each other, kick Guns off the tour, and blacklist them through the label...

He got even more uptight when Steven and Slash accidentally gave me weed brownies a few days into the tour, and I was stoned out of my mind for six hours straight, and Steven, Slash, Duff, and were chasing me around and trying to make sure I didn't make it obvious to anyone on Mötley's team or Nikki, Tommy, Vince and Mick, that the supporting band got Nikki's stone cold sober wife high as a kite. Izzy just found it amusing.

One thing about Axl, though. He taught Tansy how to stick up for herself, which gave her the courage to publicly out her abusers in her agency and industry. I guess that's why I didn't kill him despite the many times I heavily considered it.

"I would hang around, but, I've really gotta get going." I tell Duff. "But I'll call you tomorrow or Tuesday and we can figure out when a good time to hangout before I go to Japan, alright?"

"Okay." He nods.

"Okay, I gotta go, Steven." I squeeze him equally as tight as he is me, ruffling his hair a little.

"Boo! Buzzkill." He protests my leaving and I roll my eyes as he steps back to his drums.

"I'll talk to you later." I tell Duff, standing on my tip toes to kiss his cheek innocently.

"Yeah. Have fun tonight." He tells me. "And happy anniversary."

"Thank you, sweetie." I say as I wipe my lipstick from his cheek. "Love you, be good." I tell them before turning to go.

"Love you." Steven and Duff say back.

"Viv." Izzy tells me as I head for the door, as his way of saying 'bye'.

"Izzy." I reply, before stepping out.

#nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee #mötley crüe #the dirt #the dirt movie #gateway drug

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cardest · 4 years ago

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Switzerland playlist

I have unleashed my inner Swissy for my Swiss playlist and have gone totally cuckoo!

No trip to Switzerland is complete without this epic Swiss playlist I have put together. I was there in 2007 and 2016 and last time, by train and by car, I had this (earlier version) playlist on the whole time as I travelled the beautiful country. You can too! This will make you want to stand on top of Glacier 3000 and blow an alpine horn to get Tom G Warrior’s attention! So, come meet me at the Cabaret Voltaire in Zurich and watch me yodel when the cuckoo clock strikes 2am!

001 Samael - Us 002 Kraftwerk - Trans-Europe Express 003 Yodel Fest - Der Volksmusik Stimmungs Hit-Mix - Folge 2 004 The Young Gods - Strangel 005 Marilena - A Lausbua muss er sei 006 Celtic Frost - Jewel throne 007 Eluveitie - Omnos 008 ZEAL & ARDOR - Wake of a Nation 009 Lanlertrio - Nidwaldner - buebe 010 Coroner - Die By My Hand 011 Die ae ein Lied fabcr dich 012 The Andrews Sisters - Toolie Oolie Doolie (Yodel Polka) 013 Abinchova - Vom nen Grund 014 Clutch - Unto The Breach 015 Oesch's die Dritten - Ku-Ku-Jodel 016 Del Shannon - Swiss Maid 017 Wendy Carlos - William Tell Overture, Abridged 018 Lou Sern - Swiss Boy 019 Schottisch von Trio Eugster 020 Messiah- Extreme Cold Weather 021 Carnal Decay - When Push Comes to Shove 022 The Agonist - Revenge Of The Dadaists 023 From Russia With Love - Opening Titles 024 GOTTHARD - Anytime Anywhere 025 Einstürzende Neubauten - Unvollständigkeit 026 Grand Magus - Mountains Be My Throne 027 Folterkammer 'Die Nänie 028 Trio Alpin - Die Berg haban an Gipfl 029 Celtic Frost - Dethroned Emperor 030 Eluveitie - Thousandfold 031 Elis - Des Lebens Traum - Des Traumes Leben 032 Argelifra - Stockenfluh 033 Basil Poledouris - Mountain Of Power Procession 034 Coroner - The Lethargic Age 035 Bruno Spoerri - On The Way 036 Erben der Schapfung - Niemand Kennt Den Tod 037 Ernst Karel - Scuol-Motta Naluns 038 The Young Gods - Kissing The Sun 039 David Bowie - Modern Love 040 Celtic Frost - Inner Sanctum 041 Magma - Da Zeuhl wortz Mekanik 042 Krokus - Eat The Rich 043 Zeal and Ardor - Bellator Halli Rha 044 Nàda -- Body 045 Kiz - Die Sennerin vom Kalnigssee 046 Echo vom Kinzig - Uf em Eggbargli (Schottisch) 047 Eluveitie - The Call of the Mountains 048 Brian Eno & John Cale - Footsteps (Wrong Way Up) 049 The Last Bison - Switzerland 050 Coroner - Caveat (To The Coming) 051 Nidwaldner Buebe - Im Urnerlndli 052 Samael - Rain 053 Elis - Die stadt 054 Franzl Lang - Einen Jodler har i gern 055 Jodlerclub Wiesenberg und Francine Jordi - Die gralssten Hits 056 Cuckoo Clock - The Beach Boys 057 Alphornvereinigung Berner Oberland - Oberlander Choral 2010 058 Alten - Gabcdel 059 RAGE OF LIGHT - Mechanicals 060 Burning Witches - Black Widow 061 Prince and The Revolution - Mountains 062 Im Paschtli z Appezall 063 Liliput - Die Matrosen 064 Matterhorn _ The Country Gentlrmen 065 Uf em Rossstock (Landler _ Walzer) 066 Sevendust - Mountain 067 Coroner - Masked Jackal 068 Angela Wiedl Melanie Oesch Herlinde Lindner-Erzherzog Bravourjodler 069 Bolzer - The Archer of Lauterbrunnen 070 ZATOKREV - Bleeding Island 071 The Young Gods _ Skinflowers (1992) 072 Martin SchaBCtz Hesch Hasch Hasch Schottisch 073 Killing Joke - Rapture 074 Russian Circles - Geneva 075 Cronian - The Alp 076 Adrian von Ziegler - Celtic lore 077 Dethklok - Fansong 078 Panopticon - Where Mountains Pierce the Sky 079 Kraftwerk - Tour De France Etape 3 080 Celtic Frost - Dawn of Meggido 081 The Young Gods - Lucidogen 082 Oesch's die Dritten - Swiss-Girl 083 Arctic Sleep - Geneva 084 Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water 085 Aliens Soundtrack - Face Huggers (OST) 086 Falco - Auf der Flucht 087 Darkthrone - Alp Man 088 E-L-R - Ambrosia 089 Messiah - Hyper Borea 090 Krokus - Midnite Maniac 091 Led Zeppelin - Bonzo's Montreux 092 Exodus - Count your blessings 093 Killing Joke - Land Of Milk And Honey 094 Echo vom Kinzig Als a da Wande Nah 095 Scatterbrain - Swiss Army Girl 096 Lake of Tears - Upon the Highest Mountain 097 Impure Wilhelmina - Murderers 098 Sergius Golowin - Die weisse Alm [Lord Krishna von Goloka] 099 Triptykon - Tree Of Suffocating Souls 100 Brainticket - Brainticket 101 Oesch's die Dritten - Heimat 102 Ashtar - Aeolus 103 Death In June - Gorilla Tactics 104 AD INFINITUM - Live Before You Die 105 Schammasch - Provoking Spiritual Collapse 106 Anna von Hausswolff - CeMountains Crave 107 Jane's Addiction - Mountain Song 108 Darkspace - Dark 1.1 109 Richard Wagner - Cavalcata delle Valchirie 110 L'Acephale - Runenberg 111 Dakhma - Varun Of Unnatural Lust 112 Iggy Pop - Shades 113 Bruno Spoerri & Reto Weber - First Impression 114 Rorcal - X 115 Bay City Rollers - Are You Cuckoo 116 Elephant Château - Dreamings 117 Cabaret Voltaire - Kirlian Photograph 118 ØLTEN - Igelkott 119 David Bowie - Up The Hill Backwards 120 Lacrimosa - Diener Eines Geistes 121 The Staches - I don't bother 122 China - In The Middle Of The Night 123 Tenegrae Aeternum - Tenebrae Aeternum 124 Mission Of Burma - Einstein's Day 125 Faith No More - Cuckoo for Caca 126 Alice Cooper - DaDa 127 Beto Eliezer - Marie d'Agoult 128 Hellhammer - Third of the Storms (Evoked Damnation) 129 Killing Joke - Night Time 130 Simple minds - I Travel 131 Eluveitie - Luxtos 132 Alastis - In Darkness 133 Coroner - Internal Conflicts 134 Pepe Lienhard Band - Swiss Lady 135 Brian Eno - Kurt's rejoinder 136 Megaton Sword - Wastrels 137 Cabaret Voltaire - Exhaust 138 Buzzcocks - Whatever happened to... 139 Einsturzende Neubauten - Let's do it Dada 140 Samael - Slavocracy 666 The Young Gods - Cest Quoi Cest Ca

What song or band have I missed? Let me know!

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pop-punklouis · 5 years ago

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Two Ghosts Dream Theory:

@somethingpoppy wanted me to do this even though we didn’t get the full video. So, I’m doing it <3 The visuals we did get is enough, and with how whimsical and dream-like the entire sequence is, my skin has been itching to at least pick it apart in a dream interpretative style—

BARREN WASTELAND:

The barren wasteland of the landscape has two very fascinating meanings tied to it in dreams:

To have your subconscious dream of a barren, almost apocalyptic, landscape may represent the feeling of emptiness in your waking life. This could be tied to experiencing a situation where you feel excluded, no one knows you, or perhaps (the most important one) you’ve made changes in your lifestyle that have deemed you unrecognizable: This could symbolize the fight of the closet in Harry’s reality- especially when he sat down to write this song. Maybe, he felt excluded or unrecognizable since he couldn’t express who he really was or who he really loved. On a more positive note, it could also symbolize a more recent interpretation of his song once he recorded it, him making steps to express himself as an LGBTQ+ person which has deemed him unrecognizable to a large portion of his fans/general audience.

To dream of a barren wasteland could be interpreted as feelings about a lack of opportunity or fun. An empty social life. A feeling that nobody around you really wants to help you. A serious situation where you’ve felt on your own in this battle. Feeling that it might take a long time to restore the love or happiness of your life that was around, either with a person, or on your own that was ripped away from you: This can obviously be tied, again, to Harry’s closet. This could’ve been him struggling with the fact that he’s missed out on opportunities and events tied to his community or tied to being free with his sexuality. His social circle, at the time, being plagued with loads of people who were more than happy to perpetuate the straight agenda that was set out for him. Feeling helpless, like no one in arm's length of him can physically help him escape those chains. A very melancholic sensation of being pushed and prodded back into the closet so many times alongside his partner, that he knows it will take a long time for him to feel as restored in his happiness and the purity of his love for himself and this person (Louis) that was suddenly taken away from him (also represented by the first snipped being a very lush and healthy growing scene of nature that could reflect how he felt before the iron closet locked its door).

Whimsical Landscape:

To dream of a landscape that is more apparent in a dreamlike-haze with unusual or odd features, representing something you might connect with an unpredictable curiosity... could represent the limbo state between wakefulness and sleep. There is a brief period of time between waking and sleep when reality begins to warp. Your subconscious dives deep into early waters of your dream, and the world becomes a bit more whimsical and hallucinatory. To remember dreams with this environment symbolizes the early REM sleep cycle where you’re existing somewhere between sleep and awake— otherwise known as the twilight period. Where reality and fantasy fold into one another: To have a very Dr. Seuss aesthetic that is found in the Two Ghosts music video could mean that the visuals represent a blurring of Harry’s real-life versus his desired life. A FINE LINE if you will. This could represent him being stuck in a sense of limbo where he doesn’t know how to express himself or how it would be perceived due to the stunting his reality has put him through. He, as a person, exists somewhere between sleep and awake, and he’s battling how to break through and live comfortably in that space which could also tie into his identity.

Rainbow Substance:

Seeing a rainbow either in form or tone in a dream is very similar as how it is when you see it in waking life. It represents a universal symbol of hope, luck, fortune, and wishes. They also are connected to bridges, bridging you from one place to another. This bridge can indicate a turning point for your life. If there are issues around your relationship either inside or by outside forces, these will come to an end. The message behind rainbows in dreams is ALWAYS “keep on keeping on” since they are the light after a storm: This could represent Harry keeping the faith and not losing sight of what he’s been striving towards as he goes through these hardships that can sometimes turn into barren wastelands. The rainbow oozing out of the ground and encapsulating the environment could indicate that bridge of change that is on the horizon, only brighter skies and more life that is left to be lived in his future with his identity and his partner.

When RAINBOW COLORS are seen in a dream, it’s incredibly important to pay attention to the more prominent colors in the rainbow. If the rainbow seems to have a distinctive color pattern there might be an indication that there’s hidden meaning between those tones. In Harry’s rainbow, the colors that are highlighted the most are blue, pink, and yellow.

BLUE: The color blue in a dream symbolizes trustworthiness, devotion, and healing. It also represents karma and natural energy: With Harry’s partner, Louis, being associated with everything blue, the blue tone of the rainbow could indicate him above all else. How Louis keeps him believing in trust and devotion. How Louis has always radiated a healing power to his energy, and of course, the karma that will rise as their relationship stands strong and flourishes.

PINK: Hues of pink in a dream usually represent love, joy, happiness, and kindness. In hotter tones it can represent lust and passion: With Harry wading in the rainbow river, this color could symbolize giving into and trying to submerge himself into the mindset of giving back love and happiness and kindness to the world even though he hasn’t always been shown it in return. It can also represent how bathing himself in that rainbow could give him all those feelings, genuinely.

YELLOW: The color yellow is symbolic of integrity, intelligence, sunny disposition, and harmony: Again, having yellow feature heavily in the rainbow could indicate how wading in this rainbow river and bathing in its colors could finally give Harry peace of mind. He could finally live freely if he was able to completely soak himself in the colors of the rainbow.

Texture of the Rainbow:

To dream of a substance being sticky or thick in texture that you are wading through can indicate hardships in life that are difficult to get out of. It can represent a situation or idea that you’re slowly being consumed by whether you’re in control of it or not: It’s evident from the clips presented in the two ghosts music video that the rainbow sludge is a very gloopy texture by the way that it hangs and drips from the trees. With the still of Harry standing in the substance it could represent a more wicked symbolism of the rainbow color mixed with its texture. Perhaps it might’ve been easier to play the part of suppressing his sexuality and performing heterosexually to the public and in his personal life. But, the rainbow could’ve been indicative of quicksand. A very complicated and hazardous substance to pull yourself out of. With Harry being stuck in the middle of it, he could’ve tried to steer himself clear of that part of him, but with every move he took the quicksand just further clung to his legs and solidified his place in it, slowly sinking him deeper within. This could mean no matter what he couldn’t get away from the rainbow in his life, and it began consuming every part of him. To the point where he realized that this is who he’s meant to be and the only way to get through the gloop is to work with it instead of against it. (Representative of him picking up pieces of the rainbow in his hand and him bathed in rainbow light in the tour visuals).

White Button Up Shirt:

To dream of wearing nothing but an oversized white shirt, blouse or button-up, is a very common dream visual. It is a very reassuring symbol, beautiful even. In the modern world, white clothing indicates clarity but not externally. No, the clarity is internal: an internal clarity. When awareness and doing are merged with one another. With this shirt being oversized, it could represent an overwhelming clarity that is almost drowning you as your life is enlightened by its purpose. It’s important to note that the color white is the SUM OF ALL COLORS, reflecting white when the sun hits it which also symbolizes a sense of purity: The most fascinating part of the music video, in my opinion, is Harry’s clothing choice. With him wearing this large white button-up looking down with a mixed expression of curiosity and pensiveness of the rainbow colors soaking his legs, it very well could symbolize how wading in this rainbow river could’ve given him all the inner clarity he needs. Seeing the colors... Indulging in the colors... Knowing that everything regarding who he is and who he wants to become is only possible by being submerged in that rainbow. By willingly touching and accepting the rainbow, all the colors have merged, into one, inside of him creating the white light (sum of all colors) that has given him that clarity and purity he’s been seeking all this time.

#**disclaimer** this is a dream interpretation meaning its fun and fascinating but holds no weight other than being another theory #harry styles #this is so fuckin long jesus christ sorry guys #somethingpoppy

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astrolocherry · 6 years ago

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Transiting Jupiter in Sagittarius - Welcome Home Horoscope for all Signs November 2018 - December 2019

The fiery winds of wisdom burn through the house where Jupiter is traveling through en voyage its cosmic tour. This transit erupts like an incoming hurricane, bringing along lightning storms that crackle the light of the Gods residing in heaven to the ones within you on earth. Jupiter is the sign of higher learning institutions and professors, and the ruler of Sagittarius and Pisces is to celebrate the gift of wisdom and love. The odds are in your favour and you’ve been charmed beneath the stars of fortune, this can be a cosmic year of winnings - provided your inflated confidence and appetite for more doesn’t double your losses instead. The fire of wisdom burns through the house where Jupiter is traveling. This transit erupts like an incoming hurricane, bringing along lightning storms that crackle the light of the Gods residing in heaven to the ones within you on earth

The following transits are for the ascending signs in the horoscope, it’s important to check the position of Jupiter in your personal horoscope because circumstances like intercepted houses and late degrees can change the house Venus is transiting through

🧞 Sagittarius rising - Jupiter transiting the 1st house The House of Life, Vitality, Self-Expression and Inspiration Lucky Number: 1 ~ always first in and always best dressed Good Past Life Karma Credit: A daily dose of the cosmic birthday cake for breakfast, a new ability to demonstrate the self and personal brand without reservation Fortune Cookie: “Awakening will be sudden and shocking. You and I must be there for her awakening. We won`t be there for (her?) later on. That`s for other hands to do.” ― L.J. Smith, Nightfall

🧞 Scorpio rising - Jupiter transiting the 2nd house The House of Resources, Finances, Security, and Longevity Lucky Number: 2 ~ spins the code of the cosmic vault that pays out the riches of the cosmic goldmine so the universe provides needed and special gifts for those who return the faith that Mother Earth has for them back into her Good Past Life Karma Credit: Gift of resources to arrive at the appropriate time, ability to develop skills into talents and capital Fortune Cookie: “Everything around her spoke and responded to her mood; a flower would blossom and she seemed to hear its breathing.” ― Ivan Goncharov, Oblomov

🧞 Libra rising - Jupiter transiting the 3rd house The House of Communication, Brothers and Sisters, Education, and Conversation Lucky Number: 3 ~ is the answer and the code on every exam Good Past Life Karma Credit: an expanded and enlightened view of education and blooming the personal perspective, positive or repairing of relationship with siblings, protection when traveling short distances, teachers that arrive at just the right time Fortune Cookie: “With the inhalation, we draw into our own center, our own being. With the exhalation, we expand outward into the world.” ― Sally Kempton, Awakening Shakti

🧞 Virgo rising - Jupiter transiting the 4th house The House of Home and Family, the Core of the Personality Lucky Number: 4 ~ the Jupiter Jackpot spins the ‘4′ of fortune with the prize of the passport that voyages through the unformed visions, spirit guides, and the ability to grow the sense of inner peace and comfort Good Past Life Karma Credit: Receiving of Spiritual and Ancestral Gifts and Inheritances, expanded light across the darkness held within the inner world, a nomadic agenda, ability to repair broken familial relationships Fortune Cookie: “I am son of Love, and Love is my Mother. She is my magician, and I am Her magic. Look at me and imagine Her. I look only like She.” - Sw. Chidananda Tirtha

🧞 Leo rising - Jupiter transiting the 5th house The House of Joy, Amusement, Lust and Sensual Expression Lucky Number: 5 ~ is the Jupiter jackpot number in the prize pool of winning competition, sports, betting, romance, and natural bliss Good Past Life Karma Credit: Heated romances and sexual encounters, for one’s children or experience with children, raw ability to recover the imagination and animation of one’s childhood Fortune Cookie: “If you want to hear the voice of God place your ear upon the chest of any living being.”- Curtis Tyrone Jones

🧞 Cancer rising - Jupiter transiting the 6th house The House of Daily Life and Service in Work, Physical Sickness and Wellness Lucky Number: 6 ~ is the number that hides in the enlightenments of everyday life Good Past Life Karma Credit: This payment has been prepaid in the past life out of charity and generosity into those one longs to support or help but for reasons in this life cannot, a sense of goodness accompanying goodwill, good physical health and concentration and vitality for work, mentors and teachers that arrive at just the right time Fortune Cookie: “Time to wash away the debris of duality” - John J Willard

🧞 Gemini rising - Jupiter transiting the 7th house The House with the view of the sunset, the court of law, marriage, and divorce Lucky Number: 7 ~ spins the ultimate prize in the cosmic lotto of love and the prize is the given or inner love that one truly deserves Good Past Life Karma Credit: Love and Relationships - a positive beginning or ending, expanding the light into the shadow self and enlightening the whole self, favourable relationships with authority, figures of law, and spiritual mentors Fortune Cookie: “May your next sunset release a piece of you that diminishes your light—so when you awaken, more of you will shine!” - Regina Powers

🧞 Taurus rising - Jupiter transiting the 8th house The House of Secrets, Spirits, and Sexual Intimacy Lucky Number: 8 ~ is the code that opens the genie lamp of spiritual gifts Good Past Life Karma Credit: Intimate and Soul bound Relationships, Psychic Eyesight, the deep self-knowledge that creates the transformation, possibility of inheritance, profound spiritual experience, or legal settlement “The caterpillar must accept its own disappearance in its transformation. When the marvellous butterfly takes wing, nothing of the caterpillar remains.” ― Alejandro Jodorowsky

🧞 Aries rising - Jupiter transiting the 9th house The House of Long Distance Travel and Psychic Perception Lucky Number: 9 ~ is the Genie’s pick for the ultimate Jupiter Jackpot of one’s life Good Past Life Karma Credit: Higher education, physical and spiritual journeys, passports to the Astral Temples with meditation, expanding view through the eyes of God Fortune Cookie: “The degree to which your Consciousness expands, is the degree to which you understand yourself and the universe.” - Gina Charles

🧞 Pisces rising - Jupiter transiting the 10th house The House of Aspiration, Ambition, and Spiritual Ascension Lucky Number: 10 ~ is the code that unlocks Heaven’s Trust Fund Good Past Life Karma Credit: The professional life is the primary receiver of a long awaited streak of luck created of hard work coming together with an expanded view of the positive opportunities Fortune Cookie: “Trust the Universe. It is Father and Mother for all Lightworkers. Your way is never darkness.” ― Nara InneresGold

🧞 Aquarius rising - Jupiter transiting the 11th house The House of Support, Friends, Good Fortune “Bona Fortuna” Lucky Number: 11 ~ spins the ultimate prize in the cosmic dreamer’s jackpot - this is the period where visions become realised Good Past Life Karma Credit: Benefactors and outside investment to create one’s dream, belief in one’s self blooming as the world believes in them, help and support for wherever and whenever it is asked or needed Fortune Cookie: “Sometimes people appear in your life unexpectedly like a gift from the Universe.” - Riitta Klint

🧞 Capricorn rising - Jupiter transiting the 12th house The House of Forever, Forgotten Selves, and the Heavenly Homecoming Lucky Number: 12 ~ is the code that unlocks the vault to the astral dream realm Good Past Life Karma Credit: Ability to bloom qualities of the personality that have been suppressed, immobilised, or exiled, a love affair with the universe when one reclines into solitude and chooses to leave the noise of the world Fortune Cookie: “Knowing the Truth is not based on knowledge, but on being "it" ― Vivian Amis

Love Cherry

#transiting jupiter #transiting jupiter in sagittarius #jupiter in sagittarius #jupiter #transit #horoscope

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marsforeverfan · 6 years ago

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I Love

Explore Mars

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hanhan156 · 5 years ago

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Revelations

The fic number 4 for my Stadium Tour series!

I got tired of writing short stories so instead, I wanted to write something longer and continue with the Stadium Tour series.

I tried something new in my writing and had these poems stuck in my head so I couldn't resist using them.

Chapter 1: Prelude

~***~

My weakness, my fragility,

My dream, my passion,

My lust for life, the reason for walking on this Earth.

You are my everything.

~***~

The chirring of crickets and the screams of psychedelic colored paradise birds were deafening as he tried his best to proceed in the lush jungle. He was swearing at himself - why he had chosen to wear these unpractical, tight clothes again and why on earth he hadn’t taken a machete with him? Even his dreams were referring to his fashion sense and a lack of preparation for harsh conditions. Richard was still determined: in his heart, he knew that he had to continue, at any costs, even though he wasn’t sure why he was here.

His attention was caught by a movement - an animal? No, it couldn’t be: he heard laughter so it had to be actually someone. Adrenaline rushed in his veins - he couldn’t even believe how fast he was able to run in the difficult conditions with the aid of the hormone.

“Wait!” he shouted when he got a glimpse of a silhouette vaguely, but the figure was still too far. He took a sprint - he couldn’t afford to lose him now when he was so close.

After wading his way through the bushes, Richard had scratches and bruises everywhere. He wondered did he got bitten by a snake as well while his left foot was swollen, but now it didn’t matter - he had something more important to think about.

The jungle ended to a cave and on the entrance of it was the figure he’d been chasing.

Of course, it was him.

“Paul, thank God you are here. What is this all about? What the hell is this lousy place anyway, let’s get out of here.”

The other man smirked but didn’t reply anything - he seemed like he had lost his ability to speak. Instead, he made his way to the cave.

Richard grabbed his fellow guitarist from his arm, refusing to lose him now when he was so close. “Paul, for Christ’s sake, give me answers!”

But Paul shook himself out of the grip and then he was gone - vanished like in thin air. Not a single word, or any kind of hint he had even noticed that Richard had been talking to him.

“Answers, I need answers…” Richard kept repeating. He didn’t even know what answers he wanted - it was like a fixation in his head. “I need answers…and I need you…”

The first dream ended, and it was followed by a brief pause - like a commercial break of his subconscious mind.

Now he was in another setting. Once again, he didn’t have any clue what place it was exactly, but it sure was pleasant with all the palm trees on a long white beach and sun shining brightly. He knew he was looking for something, but he couldn’t put his finger on, what or who - the memories from the last dream had vanished with the commercial break.

But he didn’t have to ponder that for very long when something caught his interest.

When Richard came closer, he saw it more clearly what was it about: Paul was there with a company of a lot of men and to Richard’s horror, they were way younger - and in his opinion, way better looking - than him. He couldn’t help it but think that what kind of orgy was this.

“What’s going on in here?” he asked and didn’t want to admit the twitch of jealousy in his belly.

“Well, I’m just enjoying my life the fullest.” At least in this dream, Paul seemed to able to speak.

“That sure looks nice,” Richard said and looked around, “can I join you?”

Paul glanced at the other man with narrow eyes. “No, this is my life now, you get your own,” he burst out and laughed, with unusual cruelty. “You really fucking think I’d want to spend my precious life with you? Oh, Kruspe, how naïve you really are...”

Richard blinked his eyes. “B-but we have known for ages… I-I thought we were friends…”

“In that case, I suggest you think again, you lousy example of a human being.” Paul came closer and hissed: “You repulse me… get out of my life. I don’t need you. In fact, my life is much better without you. Our friendship was the biggest mistake I ever made.”

Richard couldn’t believe what he heard. “W-what about all those moments we spent together? The time we…we…kissed?”

“Don’t you even dare to remind me of that disgusting event.” Paul turned his back, leaving Richard sobbing alone at the paradise beach. ”You can still keep dreaming on, I don’t really care!” he shouted the one last time before he was gone.

“Don’t leave me like this…” Richard sobbed, but nobody could hear him. “I…love you.”

The torment ended when Richard woke up to his own screaming - he thanked God that he was alone. Panting heavily on the edge of a panic attack he sat up and threw the sweaty bedsheets away. It was annoying to admit that the nightmares were back but this time, they weren’t about the tour stress - it was something more complicated.

Always when he tried to bury something unpleasant to his subconscious mind, it kept coming back whatever he tried to do.

~***~

Oh how desperately I beg you,

To answer my call,

In the void of the darkest hour.

~***~

“Prost!” the six men yelled cheerfully, taking their tradition tequilas to soothe the nervousness of the upcoming concert. Sharing shots together was supposed to bring good luck - but as the legend told the luck was involved only if you remembered to look at each of your drinking buddies straight in the eyes.

But the one particular pair of eyes Richard desperately wanted to have contact with, ignored him.

“Okay, gotta keep going, we have a show to play,” Paul said and left the room in a hurry. Richard was sure that his friend suddenly turned busy on purpose because he was there.

It had become too familiar: all he had seen from Paul during recent weeks was his back, always heading somewhere.

Somewhere, where Richard wasn’t.

After all, it seemed that the stadium tour - with all its hardships and countless hours of groundwork, arguments and sleepless nights - had started out as a success. Even though performing was Richard’s natural element and he had been waiting for this eagerly, now all the fame and attention felt nonchalant - something was bothering him constantly, like an itch you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried.

That something was that they hadn’t had proper communication with Paul after that one faithful night - it was already several weeks ago. Richard didn’t even dare to recall how many weeks really.

They both seemed to become masters of excuses: either they were too tired, too busy or something interrupted them when things could have had a chance to get too deep. And what was the worst, was that how evidently Paul avoided him.

I can’t keep going on like this.

Blinking back upcoming tears Richard suddenly realized that he was the only one in the room. Why hadn’t they say anything? Maybe they had, but he had been so deeply in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed anything.

For fuck’s sake, try to concentrate now. You have a job to do.

Forcing himself to act, Richard walked to the backstage, grabbing his instrument on the way. His bandmates were already doing their pre-concert rituals when he arrived. Till was opening his voice, isolated in the darkest corner possible. It made him lose his focus if somebody stared at his awkward humming and stretching. For everyone’s relief, Flake had finished his walk already and was for once ready on time. Usually, he tended to take a stroll just in the last minute, losing the sense of time and leading him to arrive late back to the venue - it wasn’t once or twice when the keyboardist had gotten scolding from the others. Even though how modest man Flake was, he was irreplaceable - Du hast or Sehnsucht without keyboard effects would be a disaster. Schneider was doing push-ups - he claimed that exercising helped to handle the physical symptoms of stress. Oliver seemed to be deeply in his own thoughts in a yoga pose, being the calmest of them while Paul was simply being himself, sitting on the floor and smiling - he didn’t have any specific rituals. Richard did the usual: fiddling the fretboard, repeating over and over the riffs he could play even in his dreams. Still, he had all kinds of horror scenarios in his head from a broken string to a guitar being in wrong tuning.

The nerve-wracking waiting seemed to last forever and forever but when Duo Jatekok had hit its last melodies, the roaring audience was desperately waiting to see the reason they had come to the stadium in the first place.

Till appeared from his isolation back with the others. “Okay guys, this is it then.” They formed a circle together and held hands. “Let’s hope the muse is with us tonight and let’s kick some ass - let’s show them something they’ve never seen before. And most importantly, we’ll stick together and support each other, whatever happens there.

Amen.”

“Amen,” they all replied. The atmosphere was ardent - music was indeed like a religion for them.

They placed themselves on the line which had been rehearsed probably a thousand times already. The opening was supposed to be a dramatic introduction of the band, Schneider going there first to pierce the souls of the audience with his mesmerizing bass drum.

While Richard stood right behind their drummer, breathing shallowly, out of nowhere he felt a hand squeezing his shoulder gently. “Vielen Glück.”

When he turned, he startled when he saw who it was. “Good luck to you too…Paul,” Richard replied with a slightly trembling voice and hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Let’s have a hell of a show and see you on the stage.” Paul smiled so adorably that Richard’s heart melted just a tiny bit.

“Yeah, same to you….” he mumbled when the other guitarist was already back in his own place.

The focus was once again gone. Richard exhaled and closed his eyes. Okay, now concentrate for Christ’s sake. Emotional shit can wait. Don’t let your feelings ruin your performance. Let’s deal with this later.

In his heart he knew that tonight, after the concert, he had to do something for this situation - it couldn’t continue like this, them both avoiding each other and just occasionally communicating awkwardly. It was far from normal when even Paul’s slightest presence alarmed him. Overanalyzing had already made him crazy.

Richard decided that tonight, he had to stop being a coward and drag Paul somewhere and tell him.

But what could he say exactly?

It was difficult to tell but at least he wished from the bottom of his heart that they could be their normal selves again if it was even possible anymore.

I have to do it. Tonight. No lousy excuses anymore.

Richard wasn’t sure which one was more stressing: playing a concert for thousands of people or confessing his love and longing for his long-time friend.

In this case, perhaps, the latter.

After an announcement in Spanish, the atmosphere turned serious and nobody spoke or joked anymore. Even though how many times they had done this it was always like the first time - every concert acted as it’s own and you’d never know what was going to happen. That was the scariest, yet the most fascinating part of being a musician and this was the thing Richard knew he was born to do. He was totally hooked to the feeling music was able to give him - it was like a drug, but a million times better.

He also knew that he couldn’t get rid of this group of friends he had grown so attached to during the many years spent together. His destiny was bound to them - especially to the one for whom he was ready to do anything. Even throw himself into a lion’s den, if necessary.

When Royal Fireworks’ last notes faded, Schneider took a step forward and raised his thumb up, turning to his bandmates the one last time. “Let’s give them a night of their lives,” he whispered, before entering the stage with a smirk.

Richard squeezed his guitar with sweaty hands - only a couple of seconds was left for his turn. “Please, don’t fail tonight,” he muttered at himself. Give me strength for this and for the rest of the evening, whatever will happen, he prayed in his mind but didn’t know to whom exactly.

#rammstein #richard kruspe #paul landers #till lindemann #flake lorenz #christoph schneider #oliver riedel #Europe Stadium Tour 2019 #fanfiction #something poetic #my fics #my poems

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