#love going through and picking just one song to best sum up the character

[when-we-drive-away-in-secret]

Violet for the character song asks? :)

Surface Pressure from Encanto

This song is peak "Violet's spent the last year prioritising her siblings' safety and well-being over her own because That's What She's Supposed To Do." Hers is also BY FAR my most developed playlist out of all the kids, and it was very hard to choose just one song, but I tried to pick one that was not only uniquely her and couldn't be just as easily applied to the other kids (because I like sad things and like, at least half her playlist are Grief Songs), but also one that was actually based on canon lmao

[dodger-chan]

Look we all have to write the steddie flirting through DnD scene don't we?

Consider this a Christmas gift if you celebrate and something to do while everything's closed if you don't. (Also on AO3)

“How touchable are my boobs in this?”

“I think I’m falling in love with Eddie.” Steve replied. He had not meant to say that. He’d been helping Robin pick out clothes for her date with Vickie that night, and the thought had just hit him. Steve tried again. “Your boobs look great. Vickie will definitely want to slip her hands under that shirt.”

“Perfect.” Robin threw herself down on her bed next to Steve. “Let's go back a few seconds. Why do you think you’re falling for Eddie?”

“I stole one of Dustin’s old DnD manuals and I’ve been looking through it to figure out how their nerd game works. I bought my own copy of Sacred Heart. And I'm trying to read The Hobbit for the third time.”

He was forty-eight pages in, the farthest he’d made it yet. He might make it through the whole book this time, now that he’d decided he could skip the songs. 

“Oh, it’s like when you studied for the SATs with Nancy!”

“Even though I’d already taken the exam. Exactly.” Steve sighed. “It’s been going on for weeks. How did I not notice until now?”

“Because you’ve spent most of your life purposefully ignoring it when you liked a guy.” Robin ruffled his hair. “Hey, at least finding him hot isn’t news, right?”

“Yay for small victories, I guess.” Steve fixed the mess Robin had made. “But what do I do about it?”

----------

A part of Steve had wanted to show up in his rattiest t-shirt and jeans, to do his best to blend in with the rest of the club. But it wasn’t like the other guys didn’t know who he was. And Steve wanted to find out if Eddie might like him, not some nerd that looked like him. So Steve wore a polo shirt and his best jeans. The only way he could have looked less like he belonged was if he’d pulled his letterman out from the back of his closet.

“Are you playing with us Harrington?” Eddie asked when Steve sat down at the table.

“Um, is that okay? Bobbie had a thing come up and she asked me to sub in for her.” Robin’s thing had been a second date with Vickie. At his house, so the girls could kiss without worrying about getting caught. Steve needing to spend four hours in the Wheeler basement gave them plenty of alone time, too. “I might need some help with the math, but Robs gave me a character sheet and some basic instructions.”

Eddie and his friends exchanged looks. Steve really hoped they weren’t going to tell him to get lost.

“Steve? You’re playing?” Dustin practically threw himself down the stairs when he saw Steve. “How did we finally convince you? Was it Robin? Where is she?”

“Robin’s busy. I’m her sub. If Munson’s cool with it?”

Faced with Dustin’s pleading eyes, Eddie didn’t stand a chance.

----------

Steve mostly kept quiet at first, observing how Eddie ran the game, what strategies the kids preferred to use. Mostly he let them make the decisions and when they were in combat he hit the biggest enemy with his morningstar until it stopped moving.

It felt kind of familiar, but way less painful.

After a little while, Steve thought he had the hang of it enough to try Robin’s plan.

“Wait a second,” he stopped Mike before they attacked the mysterious cloaked figure. “Isn’t everybody’s health kind of low?”

“We don’t have time to rest and heal, Steve.” Mike was being weirdly patient with him. “The enemy has already seen us.”

“Yeah, but I could try charming him instead of fighting. Robin said her character was supposed to be charming.” She’d had this long explanation about charisma that Steve hadn’t followed but she’d summed it up as flirt with the NPCs. “If I flirt with him, maybe he’ll let us by without a fight.”

“He’s a guy, Steve,” Dustin pointed out. “Robin’s character is also a guy.”

“Gay people exist.” One of the older Hellfire members, Steve thought his name was Gareth, spoke up. He hadn’t expected any of Eddie’s friends to help him out with this. The three of them had their eyes on Eddie.

Eddie wasn’t saying anything.

“He’s seduced at least one girl in every town we’ve passed through,” Lucas explained. “Usually two or three.”

“It’s kind of a running joke,” Will added.

“He could like both.” Steve said it with a casualness he did not feel. “Some people do.”

“Buckley’s not going to be upset you made her character a little gay?” Eddie asked him.

“Nah, she won’t mind.”

“Then roll for seduction.”

Right as he rolled, another of Eddie’s friends - Steve had missed his name during introductions - bumped into the table. The dice fell onto the floor and one rolled under the sofa.

This was apparently a catastrophe.

“We won’t be able to get the die without moving it! We’ll never know what you rolled!” Dustin whined.

“Couldn’t I just roll it again?” This was, for some reason, the worst question he could have asked, as it sparked a lecture on the sacred and inviolable nature of the dice rolls.

“Have him role play it,” Jeff suggested. Eddie shot his friend a dirty look.

Steve briefly wondered if Robin had been talking with the older members of Hellfire, but that didn’t seem likely. They wouldn’t have any reason to help him out. 

“I don’t mind.”

“If that’s what you want.” Eddie shrugged. “Show us you can be as charming as your character.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m exactly as charming as Sir Dingus des Cheveux.” Steve wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or disturbed by how much Robin’s character was based on him. Though it certainly made playing him easier. “Tell me what I see.”

“I already did. Cloaked figure, no obvious weapon.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d notice if I was looking for a fight. Can I see his hair? His face? His eyes?”

“Um, his hood is up, so no.” Right. Eddie was going to make this difficult.

“Okay so I step forward and I stand, uh, shit. It’s hard to describe.” Steve could be just as difficult. “Can we act it out?”

“Act it out?”

“I mean the NPCs are all you, right? So if you could stand in for this guy?” A lot of flirting was physical and, for Steve, automatic. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing until he was doing it. 

“Do it, Eddie.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always wanted to see The Hair at work.”

Eddie’s friends egged him on. Lucas nodded along with them. Dustin had grabbed a blank sheet of paper and seemed prepared to take notes. Will seemed somewhere between uncomfortable and fascinated. Only Mike looked unhappy about it, but that was just how Mike was. 

Date a guy’s sister for a year and not even saving his life could make him smile at you.

Eddie rose from his seat.

“Okay, Harrington. Charm me.”

Steve stepped forward, until he was almost close enough to touch Eddie.

“Hi,” he said, tilting his head to one side. He smiled a slightly goofy smile that he knew invited teasing. “What’s a nice boy like you doing in a dungeon like this?”

Eddie burst out laughing.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re starting with?”

“Is that you or the character laughing?” Steve asked.

“Both.”

“You have a beautiful laugh.” Steve spoke in character. Eddie stopped laughing, surprised. “I bet your face is just as lovely.”

“He pushes his hood back to reveal the face of a drow. The face is not lovely, but scarred. One particularly nasty scar on his right cheek creates the illusion of a smile. He says, You lose.”

“I don't know about that.” Steve stepped a little closer and lifted his hand. “May I?”

Eddie nodded.

Steve pushed Eddie's hair away from his face, lightly brushing Eddie's scars. Taking care that the back of his thumb caressed the most prominent one, the one that tugged down the corner of Eddie's lip and gave his smile a permanent look of irony.

“You have the most expressive eyes I've ever seen,” Steve murmured. Eddie pulled back.

Shit. That wasn't in character. Steve tried again.

“I think I won, but I wouldn’t want to contradict anyone with such enchanting eyes.” He dropped the smile but kept the teasing tone. “What do I lose?”

“Your life,” Eddie replied, but his heart clearly wasn't in it.

“You don't want to kill me.” Steve’s smile widened. He'd won this round as soon as Eddie had laughed. “If you’re having trouble thinking up a forfeit, can I suggest a kiss?”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie said with another laugh. “You have successfully seduced the drow. He does not attack your party, or summon reinforcements. Your one night stand allows for a long rest. Because the drow is a cleric of Loviatar, you only recover half your health.”

“Worth it.” He winked at Eddie before sitting back down at the table. “Sir Dingus had an excellent time. Is there a fantasy version of asking for a guy’s number? In case I have to sub in for Rob again?”

He didn’t want to saddle Robin’s character with a boyfriend when Robin had been using him to flirt with girls, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie with the impression that Steve moved on from people as quickly as Sir Dingus did.

“The life of an adventurer is hardly conducive to long term relationships.” That did not answer Steve’s question. “But, he tells you his name is Ghauntel Kenduis and should he see you again, he will remember yours.”

--------

Dungeons and Dragons was not the worst way to spend an afternoon. The combat was kind of boring, and the bickering over what the party was going to do next made Steve sympathize with the guys who’d stuffed nerds into lockers. 

Okay, DnD was not his thing at all and the only thing he really enjoyed about it was getting to flirt with Eddie.

Well, Eddie’s characters, which wasn’t exactly the same thing. And after that first time, he hadn’t had to do nearly as much roleplaying. But it was still fun.

“You kept breaking character,” Eddie commented when the game was finished for the day. 

“What do you mean?” The kids had, unsurprisingly, vanished upstairs as soon as it was time to clean up. A little more surprising was that the rest of Hellfire had also cleared out, leaving Steve and Eddie alone.

“When you would flirt. You kept losing the characters. You’ve never played before, so flirting with me instead of my NPCs would be an easy mistake to make. Or…” Eddie trailed off. “Nah, you’re just bad at the game.”

“I mean, I am. And breaking character wasn’t something I tried to do on purpose.” Steve stepped close to Eddie again. Close enough to reach out and touch him. “But I kept doing it because I wanted to flirt with you.”

“Why?” Eddie asked. “I'm a freak and kind of an asshole a lot of the time. And I’m not exactly a pretty face these days.”

“Well, it turns out that weird and passionate nerds are kinda my type.” And Steve was sick of dating girls who weren't his type. “May I?”

Wordlessly, Eddie nodded.

Again, Steve pushed Eddie's hair back, tucking it behind his ear. Eddie leaned into Steve's touch.

“You really do have the most expressive eyes. I wish you didn't feel like you have to hide them.” 

Steve slid his hand over the scars on Eddie's neck. Slowly, carefully, he brought their lips together for a kiss.

[thatinsufferablenerd]

Post Spooky Update

The weather is slowly cooling off here finally. Spooky Season is over and another year has gone by without reading any scary books or movies like I say I’m gonna do every year. I’ve been enjoying all the festive content in my different social media feeds instead. Horror book recs from BookTube, video essays that analyze aspects of the horror genre, discussions of films or anime that set the mood. I probably should be more embarrassed of how much YouTube I watch, but seeing as I’m a housewife with a passion for learning and too many interests to succinctly sum up, I’m not going to lose too much sleep over it. 

I wish I did have some mood appropriate reads to tell you about. I love books, I love storytelling, I love getting lost in a good book, but my ability to actually get into–let alone through–books has atrophied so much I’ve concluded it’s a Me ProblemTM. When I was young, in elementary and middle school, I could read a book a day. I DID for a long time, exchanging the one I just finished for something new during lunch. And then I got older. I got into movies and writing, I had a job, then I had longer hours, then I had kids that I stayed home with. The library was too far to walk to, we didn’t have money to buy books, and I was too tired to read them anyway. It was easier to focus on honing my craft of writing because it was simpler to hit the backspace button when a toddler smacked my keyboard than risk a library book.

And I regret that. The act of consuming story and pure, distilled joy I get from them is a core part of who I am. If I didn’t love reading, I would never have developed a love for writing. If I didn’t love the stories and characters I read in books, I would never have discovered the love I have for analyzing and discussing them. I would never have learned about the relationship between literature and culture, that I love learning about historical context, the art of interpretation, or linguistics, things like that. Ever since I stopped reading piles of books or trade paperbacks of comics from the library, I’ve said to myself every few months “I miss reading”, “I want to get back into reading”. 

It’s not like I haven’t read anything since I was nineteen. Of course I have. I read all five books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series in the span of a year. I read monthly releases of DC comics for years, picked up pulpy romance novels ‘just as a palate cleanser!’, I tried starting book clubs with friends, promises of ‘I won’t buy or borrow any books until I read the ones I have’. And then I’d get through a few chapters of whatever I picked up only to put it down for the last time. I’ve made some progress! I read A Song of Achilles and Circe by Madelline Miller, Skyward by Brandon Sanderson, I accidentally read the sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? In the last year. And I’ve gotten further in a lot of the books I’ve picked up than before. I’ve been reading manga more than anything the last few years. My Hero Academia, Spy x Family, My Dress-up Darling, Dungeon Meshi, Demon Slayer, One Piece, all stories I’ve enjoyed and have a lot to say about! I re-read the last six volumes of Demon Slayer a few weeks ago and wrote an entire comment section dissertation about it, the latest installment in a series that serves as the quiet void I shout into.

The first step for me was probably accepting that I’m never going to be able to read like I did in middle school. That’s okay, right? I might not have a JOB, but I am a grown-up with grown-up things to do. And it’s not like I’ve been sitting on my ass the whole time. I’ve learned so much, like how to actually form opinions, how to interpret text, how to analyze properly, how to do research, how to really write, among so many other things. Things I had to teach myself. I know, they say ‘the best writers are also prolific readers’. I believe that, I really do. I would never claim that I’m some genius writer and better than people who have gone to school for this or are so well-read that it improves their prose by default. What I am saying is that…I want to get there. I miss reading. 

So, I set a small goal for myself. There are so many books out there that I want to read. And sure, my little local library has a limited catalog, and Libby has at least two weeks’ waits on everything, and I can’t afford to buy books brand new, but we can only work with what we have, not what we don’t. I’ve decided to read one contemporary book, one classic, and one (ish) manga a month. Sure, there are going to be some blurred lines here, but I think we’re all mature enough to handle that. I’m going to define ‘classics’ as anything more than a century old. Slaughterhouse Five is newer than that but it is taught as a classic and on my TBR, so maybe it will count as a classic for that month. Who knows? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. And if the manga is long, say, more than three hundred chapters, then I might split it into two months. 

With that being said, my picks for November are: A Hero of France by Alan Furst, Tolkien’s translation of Beowulf, and for the manga, Bleach.

My local library had a book sale recently. I bought a hundred and thirty books for eighty-five dollars in two trips. Not all of them are novels! I’m very proud of the memoirs and other non-fiction books I got. But that should keep me occupied for a good while yet. Not to mention the books I already have. That Furst novel is one of the ones I picked up last year at the book sale. It’s historical fiction about an agent in the French Resistance. I like historical fiction, I think it’s a versatile genre for both readers and writers. I read about half of a book called Lion’s Blood that was alternate US History last year that I’m gonna have to go back to because I STILL think about it. Anyway, that Furst novel. I’m about halfway through and I’m going to finish it. I’m invested enough to see it through, and I’m enjoying the experience. When I finish it and have had some time to collect my thoughts, you’ll be hearing them. 

While at that book sale, my almost nine-year-old became infatuated with a book. He liked the cover and title so much that he wanted me to buy it for him. I told him, “Buddy, this book would be a tough read for a grown-up.” He said he would figure it out, that he would ask for help when he needed it. The book was a dollar, so I bought it. I can’t say I’ve ever read Clive Cussler, but if I can help him understand it, I can be persuaded to read dry historical fiction. I know enough about WWII to explain what’s going on to him. It’s not on my list to get done by the end of November, but it is a high priority read. 

I picked Beowulf (and this translation) specifically because A) I know how influential Beowulf is on western storytelling, B) I’m a fan of Tolkien as a writer as well as his love of and gift for languages, C) I watched Monstrum’s episode on Grendel’s Mother and the Cardinal West YouTube documentary on Tolkien in the last few months, both of which I enjoyed a lot, and finally D) I’m a fan of Dr. Chase from The Best of Fantasy. My friend was kind enough to surprise me with a shiny new copy. It’s probably going to be a difficult read for me. I plan on taking notes and going slow to really digest it. I’m also trying to talk my mom into a buddy read, but we’ll see how the cookie actually crumbles with that one. 

Now, for how I landed on Bleach. I watched the entirety of Naruto and Shippuden (yes, even the filler) back in 2020, 2021, and then binged One Piece in 2023 into the early part of this year. So, of course, the insufferable nerd in me said ‘I want to be able to say I’ve seen the Big Three’. So I watched the anime. I wasn’t that impressed with it. Yes, certain characters stayed in my brain, yes I LOVE the Thousand Year Blood War (I’m currently behind), but it didn’t really hit me like Naruto and One Piece did. I thought the passion of the fandom might get me more into it. I tried art, lore videos, discussion, analysis, and that did help! But Bleach just…kinda fell by the wayside for me. A lot of fans say the anime isn’t as good as the manga, but it’s a long series. I didn’t have the time or energy to commit, especially when I had other series I was actually into to follow. I do follow One Piece, Spy x Family, and My Dress-up Darling on release. I followed MHA for more than three years week to week, only binging the last hundred or so chapters last month after its conclusion. 

And then AJ dropped his video titled ‘The Hollow Melancholy of Bleach’. It brings up some of the feelings I had watching the Fullbringer Arc and the Thousand Year Blood War and expresses something the anime just…didn’t capture for me. But that video and Geoff Thew from Mother’s Basement’s video on Bleach finally sold me. It took me a couple weeks, according to the notes I’ve been taking I started on October fourteenth. 

The manga is fantastic. I tried for thirty chapters a day and haven’t been as consistent as I’d like, but I’m in the two-sixties now. The art is beautiful, the character writing is great, the fights are intense, the vibes immaculate and the emotions are SO deep, so complex and resonant. I am so glad I jumped in, and I’m going to continue to take notes as I go. 

Reading isn’t the only thing I do, obviously. My first love will always be writing. I took a bit of a break cough-BookTube-cough, but picking it back up is always a joy. I’ll probably be spending some time in front of my white board in the near future working out some world building details that were not super relevant till now. I watched Jake over at Nerd Level Rising talk to Christopher Ruocchio and was sent into a PANIC over idiolects and regional dialect features, which I’ve been doing all along, just not enough? I guess? I looked everything over and did some light edits, took some notes to make things more consistent. Culture is a complex web, all interconnected and inseparable from the individual parts. Building them is hard work, a job that never seems to end, even if the document of notes is for me, not the hypothetical reader. 

You could say that I was too heavily influenced by long form stories with extended casts, because even though I’m closing in on a hundred and seventy thousand words, I’m in part two of…five? Maybe? In epic fantasy, there are so many moving parts to keep track of at any given moment aside from the nuts and bolts of prose and pacing. I worry all the time that everything I have is trash, and even if it isn’t, it would never get picked up by a trad publisher and I won’t be able to afford self-publishing. I’ve had some other sets of eyes on my prologue as alpha readers. Positive, encouraging feedback that I’m grateful for! It’s not the same thing as having someone who’s familiar with the story, who knows where my head is at, where I’m going. I don’t write to publish, I do it because I love it. But I’ve been writing for twenty years, and actively working to get better at it for fifteen of them. There’s just nothing to show for it. Everything I’ve finished has ended up in an old computer’s recycle bin or in a literal paper shredder, with abandoned works in progress along the way. As terrifying as it is to expose yourself to the light, it’s impossible to soak in the warmth of sunlight in the dark. 

I’m going back to the grindstone when I’m done here. I won’t give up. 

Other than all the YouTube distractions and trying to rightfully earn the title of bibliophile, I’ve been trying to watch shows again. Just a few things. I watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War and loved it, enough to put the manga on my TBR. I finally got around to watching Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End with the same result. I watched Dungeon Meshi twice, read the manga front to back. What a story! I’ve been meaning to write an essay on it, but I can’t imagine having anything to say that hasn’t already been said. I watched Mob Psycho 100 and can’t express enough how much it resonated with me. For the first time, I watched Over the Garden Wall. The kerfluffle on Twitter over it being removed and restored to Hulu recently had me digging that up. Quality Culture did a great essay on that series last year which I highly recommend. My friends have been obsessed with the new Interview With the Vampire series, enough to read the books, so I watched three episodes of season one and liked it a lot. I’ll get around to it. I watched Steven Universe: Future, which I’ve been wanting to for a while. We watched the main series with our kids and enjoyed it, and I thought the sequel series built on the themes and story well.

And like everyone else in the anime community right now, I’m watching Dandadan. It’s GREAT. The animation, the sound design and OST, the character writing, the action, all of it is just stunning. It’s funny and got a lot of heart to it. Momo and Okarun are so cute. I haven’t watched the new set of episodes in the Thousand Year Blood War yet, but I’ll catch up in the next week or so. I’ve been impressed with this adaptation, especially with the old series not really pulling me in until its final episodes. Not only is it visually enrapturing, it really hits on the atmosphere and emotions; not just in service to the story but truly elevates the material. 

With all the things I take in, it’s probably no surprise that there’s no less than five trains of thought going on at any given time. That video Tale Foundry did last week about Weird Tales and pulp fantasy, and this comment arguing that the fanfic community has stepped in to fill that niche? Yeah, I’m still thinking about it. Zoe Bee’s most recent drop about how metaphor influences the way we think and how that relates to politics? Of course I’m thinking about it! Not just about how it affects rhetoric but how it affects diction in prose, which is more my wheelhouse. Princess Weekes’ follow up to her ‘Tall, Dark and Racially Ambiguous’ essay surrounding casting Heathcliff gave me food for thought, and Jess of the Shire’s fantastic essay ‘Monstrosity & the Vampire’ did too. Tim over at Hello Future Me did a video about ‘Arcology: The City in the Image of Man’ and I’m still chewing on that one too. How could I not? The ideas presented there are FASCINATING, big picture questions about structuring society and the growing subgenre of solarpunk. Broey Deschanel and Final Girl Studios both doing amazing videos on The Substance? Of course I’m over here thinking about them! Final Girl Studios’ essay is called ‘The Simulacrum of Feminine Performance’, how could I not sit here and think about that, and what that is, and what that means?? And on top of all that, I opted into a DnD one shot in a couple weeks! Gonna need a character for that, one that’s PG…man, I’ve been busy! 

[malka-lisitsa]

1, 7, 12, 20, & 21 :)

canon questionare.

-what made you pick up this character?

So. Originally I picked her out as a FC for my OC long before I ever watched tvd... she just had the vibes. Then I started watching edits, then saw a few episodes. The more I saw of her the more I understood and connected with her. I knew I had to write her. I actually came back to tumblr specifically to write Katherine for the masses the way she deserves to be written (and competitively) . I wanted to explore all the deep trenches of her mind and where better a place than with some other talented writers on tumblr?

-What’s the best thing about the canon you are writing?

The complex characters and relatiosnhips the show has. When the characters are written correctly it's so amazing to be able to dive into things the show never showed us. Sometimes its better than canon.

-What would you say is the most unique trait about your character?

Lots of things are special about Katherine, especially her love for Stefan, but I would say my favourite is her struggle of watching Elena get everything that Katherine should get. The pain she goes through watching everyone misunderstand her, forgive everyone but her, and the specific prejudice that she faces just because shes constantly compared to Elena and then shit on for being different. Katherine didnt get a choice. She had her life stripped away from her at the whim of someone else and had to make some really hard choices just to survive. Having to watch Elena get everything that was stripped from her is a kind of helpless pain most people can't comprehend. Not really. I think that struggle while being BPD on top of it, is her most unique trait.

-If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be?

If I had to sum up her ENTIRE character in a single sentence? Thats super hard, but I guess I'd go with the quote that does that for me. Her entire life's philosophy: "If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?"

-Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why?

I think Katherine is FAR too complex to be reduced to a single song. There are way too many aspects of her that just cant be touched in a single 3 minutes of a single genre.

[genderqueer-miharu]

Remember that Harrow cover i reblogged a few days ago? Well i checked Kingsleigh channel to see if they had any other Milgram covers and, to my delight, not only did they have covers for every song in trial one but after listening to all of them i've come to the conclusion that they might just have the BEST Milgram covers i've heard. Not only do the lyrics flow SO SO well with the beat and rythm of the song but their choice of lyrics is absolutely AMAZING. The way they adapted all the songs fit so well with all the characters and their mentalities like they REALLY understand these characters these songs have fantastic lyrics. These ones in particular are my favorites:

Bring It On: I think because of the frantic nature of the song many covers are not able to make the lyrics flow that well with the song, but this one does that SO well. And again the lyrics they chose are absolute bangers and it fits with the tone of the original.

Throw Down: This one's great because the lyrics they chose REALLY made me question if they watched Triage while making it (they didn't this was uploaded last year) because seriously it's like they Knew. Like just look at these lyrics

"Ah tick tock tick tock tick tock you know, all my reasons stay but you don't. They'll keep holding on if stop"

""Throw down" the thread connecting you with me it's in your breath, the seconds while you're still living/"Throw down" the calling that i can't take back, for every lie i say, comes hope and can that be the same?"

(Thay "calling" line specifically really hits hard aftet Triage because of the cut phone line noises in the song)

"Hey, remember what it feels like? If what i want comes at a price, then i'll give through sacrifice"

And my personal favorite part

""Throw down" all ethics are a delusion. But my guilt is still the same when morning comes/"Throw down" emotions that are colorless. Should i be scared of death when i have nothing of me left?"

Just...ough. They're really really good

Half: I think because Kazui is such a hard character to grasp, a cover of his song in english that fits with his character can be really hard. But they did it they managed to make a cover that fits Kazui so well and it highlighted certain things from the original song that i never noticed. Such as these lyrics:

"And though one day your heart could change, i know it never will. So i will, to love you still. You ever heard a lie so sincere?"

"But if hiding this in every kiss is called unhappiness. Then i vow, I won't allow, A single word to ever reach you"

I love this one because it made realize oh he's not lamenting that a single word won't reach his wife he's making sure that's the case. Also the entire final bridge of the song is fantastic

"How did I think that we could always stay the same? We'd laugh hand in hand, making up dumb names And if I Could pick the coward's thing to I'd take the fiction over truth"

"What I gave up didn't matter anyhow So many years ago why's it coming back now? And if I Could pick the coward's thing to do I'd take the fiction over truth"

The fiction over truth, simply amazing. Also i love that in the description they jokingly called this song "Am i lamenting or am i resenting" like yeah that really sums up Kazui really well

Harrow: Ok so remember how i mentioned two days ago that i wanted Kotoko to get Undead Alice as her cover this trial? Well this cover was the main reason i came to that conlusion. It honestly gave a very different perspective on her character and it showed me a side of her i didn't even consider. It's because of this cover that i realized what many lyrics in the song actually meant, i'll compare them:

Cover

"Now that I'm prowling through the haze and Crawling through this maze I Can't go back to who i was

Feeling myself fading Burdens i've taken Weigh me down but drive my soul to go on

The evil out there I'm sickened to the core Pick a poison that i've done before"

Original

"Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy

The normalcy sought for, Fading away, Everytime death comes The soul moves forward

I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I’m about to break The surrounding net covered with poison"

Cover

"Now when a soul is too far gone you do what you got to Put it out of misery

"I'll never do it again" "I didn't mean to do it!" Even when I catch them I just can't win"

Original

"Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion

“I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?"

Like comparing these lyrics i realized that "the normalcy sought for" and the "poor soul" Kotoko is talking about isn't refering to another person or the evils she's trying to get, they're refering to herself. She's lost herself and abandoned what the concept of justice meant for her in order to catch the people she's hunting, and the "pick a poison" line in the cover drives home the point of her using the bad things she's done before to complete her goal.

These lyrics really make the theme of her storyline being revenge even more clear. And the final bridge of the song as well

Cover

"When I was young HARROW HARROW Why can't I let it go? All of this weight, all of this hate If not for them what can hope for?

The moon is full HARROW HARROW I bare my fangs into a grin and I know how I can win"

Original

"Newly born “HARROW” “HARROW” It’s ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it, What should I hope for

Goodnight “HARROW” “HARROW” Laugh and I can get to like myself"

The lyrics here made me realize that throughout the song she expresses her doubts with what she's doing. She's using the things the people she deems as "evil" have done in her favor to get what she wants. She believes this is the only thing she can do but doesn't want to admit to herself that she's the same as those people if she uses the same methods they have, so she covers it under the excuse of this being "justice" and tells herself that this is for the better of everyone and that she's actually helping all those poor weak victims who can't protect themselves. She can't admit that she's doing this out of a sense of self-satisfaction and to make herself feel better, so she uses "justice", a concept that she considers corrupt and dead, and uses it in her favor, to disguise what she's doing as being the "right" thing to do, which is represented by the wolf's skin seen at the beggining of Harrow coming back to life once Kotoko looks at the audience.

Kinda similar to how Mahiru fogave Kotoko for what she did by thinking: "Kotoko was doing what she believed in and what she thought was right for her so if i admit that what she did was wrong it'll be like admitting that what i believe in and what i was doing was also wrong", Kotoko probably thinks: "If i admit that what i'm doing is for myself and my own satisfaction and not for justice and to protect other people then it'll be like admitting that i'm the same as those people who do evil". She's killed and buried any doubts she may have had with all her vigilante work because she doesn't want to deny herself, she won't allow to doubt herself anymore because if she does then everything she has dedicated a big part of her life will seem meaningless.

Which why i believe Undead Alice would fit her really well especially in this trial. Especially as a follow up to Anti Beat, which imo touched more on Kotoko's doubts and frustrations with what she was doing, and Undead Alice could showcase her slowly convincing herself more and more that she's in the right and that she shouldn't doubt so much.

"“Live by feeding on me, since you can’t die even if you want to” Everyone except us is crazy, even though your echo can be heard by everyone

Every time I ask for ideas to hurt myself, I breathe in happiness and breath out poison The ideal junkie, doesn’t it feel good that only the two of us are normal?"

She's using ideas and methods that she considers bad and corrupt under when other people use them but she's using them in her favor as well, and she can't admit that what she's doing is wrong, so these things are ok if she uses them against those who do evil. But even if she revives that dead wolf skin, it was still the same wolf to begin with.

"The disease that makes me want to hide wanting to see you, an overflow of a LOW mood because I can’t see you

They ended up becoming close, this is torture Starting to hate the butterflies, please die before I kill you"

"The instincts of being good, and the fat of being bad, They ended up becoming close, this is torture Superficial actions have become a habit, I’m dead before I kill myself"

These two lines could highlight her contradicting stances. Her need to deliver justice clashes with the methods she's using, so she kills all these doubts so that they don't weigh her down, which is also highlighted with the main bridge of the song

"It’s ok to live for yourself, It’s ok to cheat a little It’s ok to break it, it’s ok to be scared

Let’s bury this cowardly love here, Let’s stop and forget this

It’s easier to hate But it’s ok that you chain me down with your love"

It's ok if she uses underhanded methods to get what she wants, it's ok if she uses the same methods the people she's trying to hunt have used, she's doing it for a good cause after all right?

Right...but even with all of this and with how much i may dislike Kotoko, this next part of the song could especially highlight a part of her that she doesn't really show much

Undead Alice

"I thought we would be able to keep dreaming together, just like this But what did your smiling face look like again?

It’s an illusion to think that everything will go back to how it was after saying bye bye

This is pretty painful, slice open the chest and crush the heart"

Harrow (Kingsleigh cover)

"Now that I'm prowling through the haze and Crawling through this maze I Can't go back to who i was

Feeling myself fading Burdens i've taken Weigh me down but drive my soul to go on"

Harrow

"Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy

The normalcy sought for, Fading away, Everytime death comes The soul moves forward"

She's dedicated so much of herself to this hunt and her justice that it seems she's lost herself. Thinking about this more i am reminded of the Clock Over Orquestra collab comics. Which i think is important because that's the only time we ever see Kotoko genuinely smiling. For once when she's not thinking about her ideas of justice or her plans for revenge she's having fun, she's doing something she likes: excersising, and she's genuinely having a good time, and it just makes me think that...maybe this the side of herself Kotoko lost. She's killed and buried all her doubts about what she was doing, and using them to fuel her hunt. Her "normalcy" has faded away the moment she decided to revive that wolf. Now she can't go back to who she was, even if she misses how she was, she's killed that part, she's buried that other her, she's done all of this for her goals, and if she doesn't achieve them then all the she's discarded, all the time, her morals, her regret, her self, all of that...would've been for nothing.

Anywayyyyys it's kinda weird how long this got but um. Yeah. Please go listen to Kingsleigh's covers

[loosingmoreletters]

"nobody asked about my writing" meme

Tagged by @gravitywonagain (just posting this on my writing blog instead the personal you tagged) Thank you so much! This was a lot of fun to do!

 1: what are you currently working on? 

so many things because I can never have just one WIP. Lots of mdzs stuff that is, if you want one coherent theme, trans, and sort of trying to fix things.

As for original stuff, I'm still trying to find a name for my last protagonist and make three languages.

2: summarize your current project 

which one? uuh, I'll just pick a posted WIP:

deeper than the ink: in a desperate attempt to keep Wei Wuxian from spending the rest of his life in the Burial Mounds, they fake his death and create a new identity so very different from his own that keeping the secret has more far-reaching consequences than anyone realized.

a new season has come: covers one year of the three-year time skip in deeper than the ink in which Wei Wuxian raises a-Yuan, adjusts to his new life, and teaches Xiao Xingchen how money works.

3: summarize your current project poorly 

picking the fic of which I wrote the first and a half chapters in some kind of fever haze:

take me home country roads: They travel with a goth teenager, a corpse they like, a corpse they're ambiguous about, the world's worst gender identity crisis, and Lan Qiren. The fact that they’re not caught is a fucking miracle.

4: describe your favorite character or characters

I love characters that are kind despite everything that happened to them, despite what the world tells them they ought to be? Characters that care. They can fuck up, make the worst mistakes, go off the deep end for a bit if they want, but I'm here for that I just want to help, I don't want anyone to get hurt, please keep them safe desperation

5: post a line from your current project without any context.

“Well, in any case, you’ll have to wait to march me out of the Cloud Recesses, my legs refuse to work,” Wei Wuxian said with a sardonic smile. “What was the rule again? ‘No killing within the Cloud Recesses’?”

6: how do you get through writers block?

well, writers block usually happens to me when I actually have a lot of IRL stress that I sometimes aren't even aware of. But usually I just keep switching between various projects, write little scenes, make a interest board and so on.

7: would you want to live in the world of your current work?

absolutely not. fairly sure anybody who wants to live in any variation of the mdzs setting needs to lie down, touch grass, and remember that AO3 has been down for less than a day and we're already crying

8: briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline 

I do outline for long WIPs! Usually I make a rough outline for the plot before switching into making them for every chapter. It's mostly because the way I write my first draft requires me to have a more or less clear sight of where this is supposed to be going. my outlines tend to be on the funny side, like this:

9: what is the aesthetic of your current project?

Going with a new season has come: gardening, embroidery, finding peace and quiet because you need it, being undone in your skin and coming apart at the seams and sewing them shut again.

10: what song sums up your current work the best?

Obviously, the song I named the fic after!

This was a lot of fun!

I tag: @eventualtoast, @ghostwriterofthemachine, @magic-owl, @noxgold, @liverbiver9

[tarnishedxknight]

2. How did you get into this franchise/fandom? 3. What's the best thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.? 4. What's the worst thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.? 14. Are there some characters from the franchise you can't stand? 19. If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be? ((for all of them!)) 20. Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why?

{out of dalmasca} Alrighty, here we go! XD Under the cut for length.

2. How did you get into this franchise/fandom?

Well, I'm ridiculously old (I turn 43 next week, dear gods how did I get this old?!), so I got into the Final Fantasy franchise in general back in 1994 with FFVI, which was essentially a later reboot of FFIII that had originally been released in 1990. From there I played FFVIII and loved it, played FFIX and hated it, then I adored FFX, and then FFXII is my favorite one to date. I started playing FF games mostly because my friends were at the time, and then later on my (now ex-)boyfriend was playing them, but I tended to like different games than he did (his favorite was FFVII and I never got very far into that one).

As far as getting into the FFXII fandom, I basically just loved FFX so much that I figured I'd buy the next single-player FF game that came out, expecting the quality to be the same. It... was better, heh. So I'd already been loving FF games and a lot of other RPGs at the time and it sounded right up my alley. Once I got a decent way through the game, I absolutely fell in love with Basch/Noah, Balthier/Fran, Larsa, and several others, so I guess at that point I decided to immerse myself in the fandom. I got very into the sound track and started looking up information about the game and the Japanese manga after hearing that the original game had been altered and chopped up to make Vaan/Penelo the protagonist instead of Basch/Noah. So after that I got very much into reading any and all information I could find about Basch and Noah's background and history that wasn't included or was edited out of the final version of the game. It wasn't until very recently that I decided to start rping in the fandom on this site.

3. What's the best thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

Oh, I can't pick just one, are you kidding me? XD The music is beautiful, the art style is gorgeous, the world is detailed and expansive, the voice acting is top notch, and the gameplay is genuinely fun. But I guess what I love the most is the story and characters. The story is so complex, detailed, and intriguing, and the characters are nuanced, engaging, and you really cared about their problems/plights/goals. The game holds your interest and makes you not only want to play it to pass time or just for the sake of playing a game, but also to advance the story and find out what happens to all these interconnected people.

4. What's the worst thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

The butcher job they did on it. Because they suddenly thought that nobody wanted to see an angsty middle-aged man as a protagonist, it was changed from Basch to Vaan. Vaan... is a grating, whiny, obnoxious teenager that 95% of the fandom hates. His and his friend Penelo's story was kindof thrown in as an afterthought to "fix" a problem that didn't exist and change the protagonist. The problem with that is... it's supposed to be the main plot but it feels like an afterthought. Which then destabilized the whole plot as far as where the player is supposed to be focusing their attention. The more interesting plots become side plots, and this Vaan and Penelo thing gets forced on you when you really just don't care.

Also, because they did this, they removed an entire chunk of game from the middle-end of it because it was largely dealing with Basch and Noah. When they did this, they didn't carefully edit the last act of the game to account for the omission. So the last act refers to things that were removed or has things that don't match up and feel like continuity errors because the things they referred to or previous events that lead to later ones were omitted without explanation. It's so obvious that the game was mangled, and it's just a crying shame. If they had left it alone, it would have been amazing.

14. Are there some characters from the franchise you can't stand?

VAAN. Vaan. Vaan. It's Vaan. I can't stand Vaan. Penelo isn't half as bad, but she's not good either. She's just... there. But both of them I dislike for OOC reasons. Vaan is irritating and uninteresting. Penelo is one-dimensional and boring. That's just the fault of bad writing and editing. Now... Vayne... I also hate, but that's for IC reasons. The man is a narcissistic sociopath, an adroit liar, and an arrogant, smug asshole. I also have never been able to stand Vossler. He's... He gives off skeevy creep vibes and I just can't listen to him for too long, heh.

19. If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be? ((for all of them!))

Haha okay get ready for some long-ass sentences. XD

Basch is a walking oxymoron of a selfless, gentle, and kind man and a battle-hardened knight and general who gives freely of himself to support, uplift, motivate, and protect those around him as he navigates the brutal war that destroyed his homeland with an inspiring amount of hope for the future.

Ashelia is a spirited and opinionated young princess who overcomes her biased, sexist, sheltered, and privileged upbringing to gain humility and perspective, become a champion for her people, and help bring about lasting peace for her kingdom while learning to set aside personal grudges and her own fierce pride.

Noah is a resilient and tenacious survivor who, despite feeling and being told he is lesser and harboring a deep and lifelong anger towards his brother, gave his life in every way possible to bring about stability and peace within a brutal empire and end the war that destroyed his homeland and his peace of mind.

20. Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why?

You all are probably tired of hearing about these songs on this blog by now, but here we go, haha:

Basch: "Broken" by Sonata Arctica

So I just realized that the fanvid of Basch that someone made to this song that I've loved for years now has been taken down from YouTube, so that makes me sad. That vid was really well done. But anyway, "Broken" will forever be my theme song for Basch. It does have the focus of him pining for Ashe but it's so much more than that. Every time I hear it, I think of him, heh.

"I was raised from a broken seed. I grew up to be an unwanted weed." Those lyrics make me think of him being a twin without his twin, a broken seed, but also "seed" is sometimes used to describe a person's personality or morality, such as being a "bad seed." If Basch is a "broken seed," then there's something inherently wrong with him, and there always has been, right from the start, which is how he views himself. Later lyrics "A little broken, always been," reinforce that idea. And being an "unwanted weed" makes me think of him being displaced from Landis. A landless person struggling to fit in elsewhere. Even in Dalmasca, a land he loved and considered his home, he was still a foreigner, a "weed."

"Held a torch for you when lightning struck me" makes me think of him trying to protect Ashe and even her father, or anyone else he tried to shield, not caring if he's hurt as long as his charge is safe. "Once again, hoped I'd died for the last time," makes me think of how tiring it must be to keep giving of himself and to be that shield for others, and every time he's put in that situation, he hopes it's the last. But of course it never is.

"Only one, I have a thing greater than you. A little light on the sky, every night." His "only one" is Ashe, and as much as he loves her, there's something that's even stronger inside him than that love, and that's this "light on the sky," a guiding star "every night," which I interpret as Basch's undying and unshakable hope that he always walks around with.

"Morning dew on the field where I met you. I was frozen a year, couldn't get through." I mean, he was imprisoned for two years, not one, but close enough, haha. But yeah this makes me think of him being stuck in prison and not being able to get to her to protect her and guide her to the Stillshrine as her father asked him to do.

"Fell in love with the weakness within me. Tried to force me the ring and own me. Guess you found what you'd think would oblige me, a little version of me to consume you." So... the "weakness" is his love for Ashe, and "force me the ring" makes me think of how his feelings for her first began when he saw her married to Rasler and realized that he felt sadness and a little jealousy for the first time. So "the ring," or her marriage is an unwanted thing that's being forced upon him to accept, he has no choice but to watch her be married to someone else. The "little version of me to consume you," makes me think of how Ashelia took Basch for granted a lot, just assumed he'd always be there, and related to him as she always had, with limited information about who he really was because he didn't talk about it. So it was like... she had her own idea of who he was that she "loved" in her own way, and Basch feels like that has to suffice, like that has to be enough for him, even though it isn't.

"I'd give my everything to you, follow you through the Garden of Oblivion." I mean, the first part speaks for itself, and the "Garden of Oblivion... the person who made the fanvid put a clip of Giruvegan here, and that's perfect. Giruvegan was this really weird, ethereal, trippy place that was like on the edge of reality, and Basch literally did follow Ashe there, heh, so that fits really well.

"If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me." So this could be about his love for her, but I always headcanoned that Ashe wanted to know more about Basch, his past, his family, Landis, etc. and Basch really just never spoke about much of it to her. That's why she never knew of Noah's existence until after her father's assassination.

"How can you love this exile? And how can I desire you when my pain is my pain, and yours is too?" I mean... Ashelia literally was in "exile" or hiding at least for two years and continued to be until she got knee deep in winning back her throne. But also, the idea of Basch taking on the pain of others that he loves is a big theme with him. If he loves you, then your problems, your traumas, your losses, your pain... becomes his, because he will care about them to the same degree that he does his own.

"Seven lives of a man pass before me. Seven graves, one for every love I've had," really fits for Basch because throughout his life, he has lost the people he loves. It seems to keep happening to him and around him, and yet he keeps living on. I feel like sometimes he wonders why. "Only once I have broken my so-called heart. Only one made me see why they cry." Well that is obviously about Ashe, heh. I always headcanoned that, because Basch was so closed off and never had a family of his own, that he'd never been with a woman. So everything he knew about women he heard from other knights and soldiers. This line to me makes me think about him hearing from others about broken hearts and failed relationships, and Ashe is his only experience with that in his own life.

"Will I learn how to be one of you someday? Will I still feel the eyes that behold me?" makes me think about Basch wanting to fit in, to be loved, to be Dalmascan, but he's just... not. And feeling eyes on him is a big theme for his character throughout the game. He's judged, slandered, hated, and mocked everywhere he goes because of the false understanding the masses have that he murdered King Raminas. So he's gone from being beloved, trusted, and respected to being a complete social pariah.

"Will I hear what you think when you see me? And will it tear me apart if you feel for me?" is again about Ashe, heh. He keeps his love for her silent. Completely. There are moments in the game (I can think of at least three or four) where he watches Ashe from behind or the side when she's looking elsewhere, and he just... considers her silently with this gentle reverence. But he never tells her how he feels in canon until Fortress, the sequel that never happened. Finally in the storyboards for that unfinished game, Basch confessed to Ashe that he loved her, some ten years after the end of the FFXII main game. So that line to me embodies this silent and distant way he loves her, both because he's a closed off person but also because he feels his love for her is wrong in several ways. And if she were ever to reciprocate his feelings, he wonders if it would tear him apart, which I translate into... he wouldn't even know what to do with her love if he had it because it's something he does not ever expect to have and has never even considered the possibility of it existing. It would be a good thing, but it would also shock him considerably.

I could go on and do the whole song but I won't, haha. But almost all of it is just so perfect. I'll end with, "Heaven's closed, Hell sold out, so I walk on Earth, behind the curtain, hidden from everyone, until I find a new life to ruin again." This is about Basch existing in this in-between of society, coming from a destroyed homeland and now dealing with the next homeland potentially being destroyed as well, and coming from being a respected knight to a "kingslayer" whose name is despised throughout Ivalice. He walks around in this state of feeling like he ruins everything he touches, moving from life to life, ruining them as he goes, somewhere in between heaven and hell.

Ashelia: "Cry No More" by Vaults

To me, this song embodies Ashe's growth as a character and what her coming-of-age arc is all about, and that's why it's my #1 theme song for her. This song for me is about Ashelia transitioning from princess to queen, from civilian to warrior, and from victim to survivor. The lyrics "I don't wanna cry no more. I don't wanna die a little more every day," reminds me of how she was born in war, grew up in war, and all she knows is life from the perspective of her, her family, and her kingdom being under threat from war. And she's tired of it. She's tired of crying and dying inside at every loss and setback and injustice. She doesn't want to cry anymore or be passive, she wants to take action, for her and her kingdom.

The chorus is meaningful as well. "To pull yourself from harm. To be the braver one. To raise a weary hand in a house that's built on sand. To wear it like a crown. To kick before you drown. To fight it, and to cry no more." This is about her fighting back and owning it instead of being a victim. She's not letting life happen to her anymore, she's making it happen, and she chooses to fight back and do something before she "drowns." It's also about her becoming the leader Dalmasca needs instead of a child whose life is dictated for her.

The "house that's built on sand" is just too perfect because Dalmasca is a desert country, but also to me, being built on sand means its unstable. It could collapse at any time, figuratively and literally. So in this uncertainty and instability, she's choosing to make a stand.

"To wear it like a crown" is also relevant, as Ashe's story is really about her quest for the throne of Dalmasca, both figuratively and literally. She wants to sit on that throne and wear that crown and become queen, but she also has to grow as a person and earn that honor before she can be the queen her people need.

"Will I be the warrior? Or will the axe shine clean? Steely-eyed, your blood'll burn. I will save our lives." That to me is about determination, fierceness, and tenacity. It's about her making the choice to move from being a sheltered princess who was never permitted to see or engage in the war around her, to becoming a warrior herself, and again that ownership of the leader she is becoming and that her people need. Before her husband and father died, she was basically meant to be shuffled from one man (her dad) to another (her husband) and to take this passive backseat in her own country's fate, as decided for her by others. Here she's asking herself, am I going to stick to that life or am I going to become a warrior myself? And her choice is that she's going to fight back and save Dalmasca.

Noah: "Heavy Is The Crown" by Daughtry

First of all, let me say that Chris Daughtry has an absolutely amazing voice, and his edgy, growling, yelling style has the exact energy that I feel from Noah quite regularly when I write him. He's also got an edgy, nonchalant, alpha-male sort of style to his singing, and that matches Noah too. So it's not only the lyrics of this song that fit him, but the feel and passion as well. If you watch the video, Chris' whole vibe matches Noah's energy for me so well.

Alright, so Noah was never a king and didn't wear a literal crown, but the idea of the phrase "heavy is the head that wears the crown" really has to do with leaders bearing a ton of responsibility, having a lot of problems, being in a lot of danger, and having a lot to worry about. Their burden is great. As the sort of unspoken leader of the Judge Magisters and the one whose example kept others from rebelling and potentially destabilizing the Archadian Empire, Noah as Gabranth really did wear a heavy "crown." He's constantly aware of his precarious political and military position and who/what he's keeping at bay and why, and it's no small burden to him. But it's one that he has worked hard for, bears with no small amount of tenacity, and will defend to his grave.

"Never needed any reason to find deliverance." This for me is about never needing to explain himself or to try to escape his past. Instead, he embraces the pain and trauma his past has given him and uses it to fuel him. "Like a cancer running through my veins, oh... it's never gonna give in," could be more literally about the nethicite poisoning he acquired as a boy, or it could be more figuratively about the abuse he suffered and how it will always stick with him wherever he goes.

"See them march like lambs to the slaughter. Toy soldiers, line up on the altar. I was never meant to drink that water. They'll remember me when I'm underground." This is him saying he's not just going to be another statistic or a face in the crowd. He's not going to fall in line and be forgotten to history after he's "underground," meaning dead. He was "never meant to drink that water," he was meant for something more. He was meant to lead, not to follow. This is about Noah wanting to acknowledge what shaped him but then wanting to rise above it and to become someone important. He wants to make something of himself that will be remembered.

"Heavy is the crown. Never falter, never let 'em bleed you out. I'll be still standing when they try to bring my castle down. I'll never bow down." Now, some might say well, he did bow to Vayne when he killed Drace. Yes? Outwardly? But that was a calculated move for the higher purpose of keeping stability in the empire, not because he was subservient to Vayne. And he does challenge Vayne at the end of the game to protect Larsa. But regardless, this chorus to me is just about Noah's tenacity to survive and not be a victim anymore. He will never bow down, he's gonna go out fighting. And he did in the game. But it's also about the phrase "never let 'em see ya sweat," heh. Basically, that means... no matter how much someone gets to you, how much things bother you, or how bad you feel... project strength and push through. Persevere. Don't let them catch you faltering. And he had to do a great deal of that as Judge Magister in the face of challenges from his peers.

"When the weight of the world crashes, pushing you closer to the edge, you find a way to get a little bit stronger, to fight off the demons." If this isn't Noah to a T, haha. He's constantly on "the edge," especially my version of him is. I write him perhaps a bit more emotionally volatile than canon or than other people's interpretations. He keeps it together where and when he needs to, but in private, he falls apart. He has to, because he's got to release that stress. With Basch in the game, that stress came to the forefront, and his usual outward composure really slipped, but other than with him, Noah usually kept a close guard of his emotions. But that doesn't mean he still didn't feel crushed by the weight of everything, it just means that instead of letting it crush him fully, he uses that pressure to make himself stronger. Diamonds from coal, right? XD

But one last important line for Noah is, "Everything will fade away. Nothing in this world is meant to stay." Even in the game itself, Noah was always keenly aware of the passage of time around him, the loss of life, the impermanency of power and title, of war and peace. Everything is always in flux, and nothing and no one lasts forever. Having lost so much, no one understands that better than Noah.

His building of this persona for himself, this "crown" that he wears... it's not for himself. Sure, he has something he needs to prove to himself, or maybe to Basch, or to life in general... and that's just that he's a survivor that won't be cast aside or beaten down. But beyond that, the power that Noah amasses is not for himself. It's not so that he can usurp the throne or amass his own empire or conquer other lands or anything like that. All the power he accumulates is so that he can protect Larsa, whom he sees as the future of the empire, and therefore to do his part in orchestrating an end to the war. He knows he will not live to see the end of the war. He knows he won't get to reap the benefits of his hard work and power. And that's fine, he doesn't need to. Everything he does is for the future of Ivalice, not for himself. With, of course, the exception of his outbursts to Basch, haha.

This all got SO LOOOOONG, I'm sorry! But thank you for sending these in, they were a lot of fun to answer! ^_^

[harpywritesfic]

“Nobody asked me about my writing” meme

tagged by @mckiwi!! <3

1. What are you currently working on?

bits and pieces of several things, but I'm going to say the untitled sex pollen fic.

2. Summarize your current project.

someone fucks up and doesn't do the research before visiting another dimension and is exposed to sex pollen. (i love how i can make the wildest shit seem feasible with stephen.) (yes i know how punctuation and parenthesis work, if anyone is wondering. i simply do not care) and! his bestie/crush/love of his life is one of those people who drop by just because even when you don't have plans. (i write this so much. so so much. half of my fics feature tony just showing up.) anyway! they fuck :)

3. Summarize your current project poorly.

weird plants! (i love weird plants!) cloak sex! (i love cloak sex!) human sex! (i guess i could go for that too!)

4. Describe your favorite character or characters.

cat kitty cat cat kitty cat cat. people have asked me "why is the cat on your shirt labeled 'goose'?"

no, i'm just not ready for a deep dive into stephen's character, because i will never shut up.

5. Post a line from your current project without any context.

“If you say a word about this to anyone I will fucking castrate you.”

6. How do you get through writers block?

bang head on wall until blockage releases

7. Would you want to live in the world of your current work?

HAH. no.

8. Briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline.

scrapbooking. bits and pieces and this here and cut/paste and shuffling around. if i'm feeling fancy i'll do a checklist of scenes and what i want in each, but usually it's just a mess.

9. What is the aesthetic of your current project?

✨horny✨

10. What song sums up your current work the best?

oh dear. the songs i listen to while writing are never vibe-accurate so i don't have a good pick from my writing playlist. material girl is a favorite for smut writing but i'll say Shoot to Thrill.

[gillianthecat]

I'm writing up a whole long thing on my reactions to this film, and how I would adapt it to be queer, but that's taking a while, so here are my thoughts on casting

BL Castings for The Apartment: 

Korea

is my first instinct based on the actors I thought of. And based on their non-bl dramas, I feel like they could get the mix of darkness, humor and cleverness right. I’m not sure their BL industry is there yet to do it justice, and 2/3 of the actors I choose probably would never do a BL proper, but since this (I assume) isn’t even on anyone’s radar to get made I feel like I’m allowed to go wild with it. This is how I worked through it in the comments of this post:

I don't know that the Korean BL industry could handle it, but I kind of want to send it over there for the actors. Maybe Ji Sung for the boss? I feel like the character needs the charisma and sex appeal to explain why the Shirley McLaine character is in love with him, which is inexplicable in the original. Although in queering the film you could keep him just as unappealing and find other ways to make that make sense. Maybe the actor who played Seo Joon in To My Star? For either the Lemmon or the McLaine role actually, I could see him as both and I think he can do comedy. Hmm... now my mind is turning. I don't know the third one yet. He's even less of a BL actor but the one who just came to mind for the third part is the actor who played Vincenzo and the lead from Reborn Rich, I forget his name. I think Seo Joon's guy as the Lemmon role and Vincenzo's guy as McLaine's role—he has this watchful stillness that I think would work well, and obviously he can do comedy. If we want a slightly less overtly sexy but still charismatic actor for the boss, perhaps the older lead from Beyond Evil? (I'm basically running through all the Korean shows I've seen with actors over 30, which isn't many. I'm sure there are others I'd pick if I'd seen more.)

So to sum up: Son Woo Hyun as Baxter, Song Joong Ki as Kubelik and Shin Ha Kyun as Sheldrake. 

At 37, Song Joong Ki is perhaps too old for the role, but a) he can look much younger than that, and b) I actually think it adds an interesting pathos to the story to have him as still trapped in this deadend secret relationship even into his late thirties, maybe having given up on finding anything better. Son Woo Hyun can do pining, he can do self-deprecating comedy, he’s gorgeous but I still think he could be convincingly everyman. 

As for Sheldrake, I ended up going with Shin Ha Kyun of Beyond Evil over Ji Sung (The Devil Judge). Mostly because I think Ji Sung is too gorgeous for the part. I think the character needs more sex appeal than Fred MacMurray gave him, but Ji Sung has too much, although I’m sure he could handle the role very well. I’ve only seen Shin Ha Kyun in the first couple of episodes of Beyond Evil, but my instinct is that he would be excellent at balancing the sleaze and bluster with enough charm to make it work. 

Taiwan

I feel like could do the best job with the story, characters and tone, but I haven’t watched enough Taiwanese shows (BL or otherwise) to know for sure, or who to cast. I don’t think I’d cast anyone from the three BL’s I’ve seen so far. About Youth—all way too young. Plus and Minus—I honestly remember almost nothing about the actors. We Best Love—hmm, I could actually see Lin Zi Hong in the Shirley McLain role, he can do a mix of charm and vulnerability that would work well. And he’s a good enough actor that he could handle Jack Lemmon’s part as well. Shu Yi’s dad could handle Mr. Sheldrake, we know he can play an asshole, and he’s got charisma that I think would help. But there are probably better options available.

Any thoughts from those who know Taiwanese BL better than me?

Thailand

seems to be what you were thinking about, @aliceisathome, but I think my instinct is to cast older than most of the Thai BL actors that I know. @alt-drama, Ohm Pawat and PP Krit are both amazing actors, but they both feel too young for me. And I haven’t actually seen Mew in anything, so I have no opinion on him.

Hmm. Well, if I give up on older actors, I think War Wanarat could do a good job in the McLaine role, he also has a combination of vulnerability and strength I think it needs. I was thinking about Saint for it too at first, and while I feel like he could do any role and be good at it, I think I’d rather see War. Perhaps just because I think he’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, but the more I think about it the more fitting he seems. @placetneplacet also mentioned Mark Siwat, but I haven’t seen him in anything, so I can’t opine on that either.

And Baxter… for some reason this seems the hardest one to cast for me. I’m intrigued by placetneplacet’s idea of Off, although I’m not sure he has the comedic timing for it. He can do lovelorn and pathetic as well as charming flirt well, and those are the other important qualities.

oooh. Nanon. He also has that kind of everyman feel that Lemmon has and the character needs. I’ll pick him. And he can handle the comedy and the pining. Yes. Ohm perhaps could also be great, but I’ve only seen him as Pat, and the character feels so different that it’s hard for me to picture him as Baxter.

As for Mr. Sheldrake, the sleazy/asshole boss, while Saint can do anything, I really would like to see someone older in the role, because I feel like that’s a crucial part of the dynamic. Unfortunately I don’t know many older actors - since all the Thai actors I’ve seen so far are from QL dramas their playing parents and teachers and I’m generally not paying them much attention. The only one that has stuck out enough for me is the actor who played Mon’s stepdad from GAP, who MDL tells me is named Wo Jirawat Wachirasarunpat and is 60 years old. Which is actually more of an age gap than I was thinking, but what I liked about him was his air of charm and friendliness, which is something I want in the character, to make more sense of why the Kubelik character falls in love with him.

To summarize: Nanon as Baxter, War as Kubelik, and Wo Jirawat as Sheldrake (though he’s kind of a placeholder). With those two, I've kind of talked myself around to thinking younger actors could work.

Japan

I’m honestly having trouble envisioning this as done by Japan. Who knows, they could do an excellent version, but their style somehow seems so different to the tone of the original. (I’d love to hear the thoughts of those who know Japanese dramas and films better than me.)

Likewise, no actors stand out for me as right (probably because I’ve seen so few Japaneses shows), but, given that I’m looking for older actors, I am curious as to what Takeda Kōhei and Kimura Tatsunari (Nozue and Togawa of Old Fashion Cupcake) would do with the parts. I think I’d give Takeda the Lemmon role and Kimura the McLaine. Or perhaps Kusakawa Takuya (Minato from Coin Laundry) as Kubelik and Kimura as Baxter? None of them are exact fits for how I picture the characters, but they’re all such good actors that I think they would do something interesting. Takeda can do awkward charm and everyman appeal, I’m just less sure about that specific sort of Wilder comedy. We know that Kimura can handle the pining from afar and up close as Baxter (although he may be too pretty for the character), and I can see him doing the undertones of nihilism and angst of Kubelik as well. And I suspect he can handle to comedy well. Kusakawa is more of a guess, but he’s beautiful enough for Kubelik, and has the acting chops in general, given the difference between him as Minato and as Rokkaku in Cherry Magic.

As for Sheldrake, probably many of the older actors I’ve seen in supporting roles could do an excellent job, but I haven’t paid enough attention to them to pull one out.

I just saw someone talking about the sublime Billy Wilder film The Apartment on Twitter and am now thinking it'd make a fantastic workplace BL. But who would you cast? We'd need the Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine characters plus the sleazy boss (that's an easy one - I'd cast Mew!). @placetneplacet @heretherebedork @thequeenofsastiel @absolutebl @gillianthecat @clairificusrex @weekendatennuis

[sodomitecastiel]

Do you have any recommended spn fics? To be restored is consuming all of my non fenario brainspace

This is in no way an exhaustive list - @jewishcharliebradbury is the one to go for that - but these are some favorites of mine, please always heed their tags just in case!

Putting it under a readmore because I'm a wordy bastard:

Sky Verse by starandrea: Angelic civil war! The crispest, most in-character dialogue! Vast, sprawling worldbuilding! Dean and Cas get together and are very bad at it for a long time! This series obsesses me the way other people are obsessed with dta (which I have not read for fear of commitment but fully intend to eventually).

To Be Restored by serenetyfails: You mentioned this one already but it's worth repeating - it's my favorite trans spn fic that I didn't write myself. Cas's transmasc identity is handled so carefully and so competently, Dean flips out in a way that's both in character and still kind to him, and Sam and Rowena are wonderfully fleshed out. I think many people would look at the premise and worry it's either misogynistic or fetishy, but it's neither, it's such a love letter to Cas's well-earned masculinity. Also, I'm obsessed with Rowena knowing and being buddies with a lot of trans women witches :)

Talk Therapy by shara: This is one of my favorite 'Dean is bad at asking for things' fics, it deals with his inability to want things past what he can give to others really well. I also appreciate that not everything in their relationship is fixed just because they're together, although the amount they love each other is always obvious.

Epilogue by JayneL: A weird little time travel story that is NOT a fixit for endverse, but is exceptionally kind to endverse Cas anyway. It aches very badly. I remember it being pretty trippy but also having to sit and look at the ceiling a while after reading it.

The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim: Cas dates a normal human man with a good soul for a little while before he gets with Dean. Both of them know it isn't for forever, but they look after each other anyway. Told through the lens of story-swapping between gay friends and written with so much care & love. (You can thank @okologie for finding this one and making me read it despite my reservations.)

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo: Everyone recommends this fic but it's for a reason. Probably the best post-retirement fic there is, and definitely helped me form the neural connections to write Fenario, haha, I can't recommend this one enough. The complicated Dean and Sam issues are held with just as much weight as the Dean and Cas ones, although both are handled gently.

you and me in the war of the end times by stickthelanding (@tallahasseemp3): Alma knocked it out of the park with this one. THEE shotgunning fic. I've reread it more times than I can count, it has the loveliest atmosphere. I want to gnaw on this prose, said with love!

A Drinking Song by Balder12: Endverse snapshot. This one is mostly just bone hurting juice but it's one of my favorite characterizations of them - sometimes I find that endverse stories either make Cas way too soft or fucked up in a way I find goes too far in a direction I don't agree with, this one feels pitch perfect.

Everyone Is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12: All time fave angel true form fic!!! It's deliciously weird and fun, definitely a mind-melter. I only read it the once but sometimes I think about it and get a funny little shiver.

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara: This is another 'universal favorite', but also for good reason. Extraordinarily tender, it's my personal favorite Cas-grows-a-garden post canon story, especially because it manages to write a jealousy plotline that doesn't make me want to bite and kill. Dean's voice is exactly right and everything unfurls with this tender inevitability, idk how else to describe it! It also ends on a final image that's so lovely it's seared into my brain.

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord: Nobody does vignettes like supernatural writers. I love the way the road feels in this one, and how carefully picked each moment is. A string of pearls, this fic.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays: Dean and Cas get trapped in the midwest by a curse that doesn't let them leave the state, and they want to break it until they don't. Being trapped gives them an excuse to want to settle down, but the route they take to get there is, of course, circuitous. This one hurts a little because it takes place while Sam is dead, but it isn't gratuitous in its sadness. Sweet and melancholy.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo: FAVE FAVE FAVE FAVE. I push this one at everyone I can. I'm extremely picky about 'Dean's self loathing' fics, mainly because I think it can veer easily into melodrama, but this author weaves Dean's self hatred and his anger together very seamlessly, in a way that feels real to the show. Also, Cas is perfect.

sweeter coming from my hand by perilously: A story that I liked before Nov5 and withstood the test of time!! Dean and Cas get married/soul-bound in order to both remove the Mark of Cain and fix Cas's grace. Features a formative scene for me where Cas expresses worries about if he has a soul and Dean raps knuckles on his chest, going, "knock knock, sounds like a soul in there." If you like this one, perilously has many good fics that are just as in character.

On Labor by a_good_soldier: I very nearly couldn't finish this one, but not because it's bad, haha. The premise just makes me want to tear my clothes in mourning - Dean knows Cas is in love with him, after getting him back from the Empty, and decides that he should give him what he wants without realizing that he wants it too. Dean performatively dating Cas while trying to talk himself into liking it (not knowing that he does actually like it) is exactly the kind of convoluted bullshit Dean's internalized homophobia would do to him. Nauseating and spectacular. Sticks in your brain for weeks.

canticles by 2street2car: An excellent 'weird girl best friends' fic. After striking out at the brothel, Dean decides to treat Cas to the "first date experience" himself, since the guy might die the next day. To sum it up succinctly: the rituals are intricate. And dirty dancing is referenced!

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon: As the author states themself, this fic is a love letter to California - it's a road trip casefic that's so rooted in place, the setting is rich and lush and the atmosphere makes me ache, and not just because it's set in my home state! I saved this one for last because this is another prolific author who has many stories I come back to again and again (Sweet Home and Love: A Retrospective are particularly good), they really don't miss. Usually when I read fic, it's a mad dash to the finish, but I took my time with this one. I highly encourage you to do the same :)

[glitternightingale]

Fanfic Ask Meme

I finally got to answer all the questions you guys have been sending me from this meme! I never expected to get so many, that's why they're all here together. Unanswered questions will be left blank and if you do want me to come back to them, I'll just reblog this post.

Now, let's get into the Behind The Scenes of WAACH!

1. What inspired this fic?

I was inspired by the song "All Of You" which made me wonder how the family relationships after the main part of the movie developed. I was left with so many open questions because I think the writers took the safe, "easy way out" for their storytelling (yes, this is up for debate but in a different post).

Like, we have the communication issues the Blue Sisters have to deal with (have Luisa and Isabela ever even exchanged words on screen?). Then there are Alma's struggles with paying more attention to what her loved ones really need and, of course, Bruno's reintegration and the challenges he has to face after his extreme isolation.

2. Where did the title come from?

3. What part was most difficult?

Funnily enough, I always think the part I'm currently working on has to be the most difficult one to write yet, but looking back, I'd say it was "Calming The Clouds".

It was a tough balancing act to portray Pepa as both fierce and vulnerable. On the one hand, she carries so much guilt with herself and is haunted by her past. On the other, she is selfless enough to realize that someone else might need more support than she does.

But I think I found a satisfying way to avoid these conflicts by making them an explicit part of her mood swings. Also, I had to tip-toe my way through the Triplets' past and decide to which degree Bruno was hated by the village and/or supported by his family.

4. What are you most proud of?

5. What do you like best about this fic?

I had so much fun writing the story of how Bruno and Agustín met! I wrote most of the flashback in "Watching The Weary" (about 6k words) in a day. I don't know why, but Agustín's POV just sat right with me. Not to forget the worldbuilding with him hailing from Bogotá. I do plan on expanding more on his side of the family in future parts of the series.

6. What do you like least about this fic?

7. What’s a reference you made no one has picked up on yet?

Hmm, I might say it's this reference from "Building The Base" (*side-eyes @acewithapaintbrush 's "A Place for Crows"*):

He scurried down the hall without looking back. However, he then noticed how his mother had trailed after him with quick steps, watching him with suspicion and concentration like a hawk, or a crow.

She should rest her weary feet, he thought.

8. What’s a bit that sums up your take on a character?

9. Favorite line(s) of dialogue?

It has to be the storytime banter from "Risking The Ruse":

Isa shook Tío Bruno’s arm to make him go on with the story. “The young man had always been vindictive and evil and that’s why he killed his father.”

“Was there blood?” Isa asked.

“Yes, lots and lots of blood,” Tío Bruno answered flatly to which Isa tried to whistle in admiration.

10. Favorite line(s) of prose?

I'm still kinda proud of how I handled Julieta in "Making The Most":

With his head in the clouds, he had been tortured with feeling eternity. But no matter how many times he had suffered, his capacity for love was bottomless. Spending ten years in self-imposed exile to protect a child only proved what Julieta had always known about her brother.

11. Were there any points where you were trying to do something specific with sound, vocabulary, or rhythm?

12. Imagery that is important to the fic, either while composing or in the fic itself?

13. How many drafts did the work go through?

14. Were you listening to anything while writing the fic? If so, what?

Oh, considering that writing takes me a hot minute, there are whole playlists with songs I can't even remember from the top of my head. It's always a good mix of all genres though, ranging from folk to hard rock, to nightcore hip-hop.

But I listened to this song over and over again while writing "Twisting The Threads". It's perfect for Alma and Bruno's relationship.

15. What were you most worried about during the composition?

16. If you used a beta, what did you agree or disagree on?

17. Did anything surprise you during the writing?

I was quite surprised by how my intuitive characterizations correspond with the movie. Before I start a fic, there are always random ideas in my head that I have trouble connecting. But in the end, I realize that what I've thought of makes a lot of sense, actually.

An example is Félix being quite easy-going and extroverted in "Holding The Heights" but also having strong sensibilities toward the people around him, especially the more easy ones to upset (Pepa and Bruno, for example).

18. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

19. Were any parts written under the influence?

20. What did you learn from writing this fic?

I've learned a couple of things over the course of writing WAACH!

Colombian history, cuisine, culture, Spanish terms of endearment, etc.

Writing takes effort, time, and sleep, but it's always worth it even when the process of getting there is a difficult one. It's especially rewarding to have people who anticipate the next update, the next fun fact, or a quick preview. The pressure might increase, but it's a good, challenging, and motivating kind of pressure even if my own expectations grow in turn.

There are many people who are just as nerdy as me and bursting with creativity! Let's make something beautiful, everyone!

❤️❤️❤️

[firesoulstuff]

I’ve been debating on posting this, mostly because I know this likely wasn’t meant to be one of the many deep meanings of Encanto, but it’s been a few days since this realization struck me and I can’t stop thinking about it.

So, a few weeks ago I watched Encanto, and like everyone else I’ve talked to I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the music, the story, the representation of a large family with generational trauma, ect. But there was also something about it that really touched me, and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was until a few days after I watched the movie. After seeing Tumblr threads, Reddit posts, and entertainment articles dominating the internet, debating whether or not Mirabel secretly received a gift or not it hit me. This thing about it that touched me was in Mirabel, I saw for the first time ever a representation of living with a learning disability.

I was diagnosed with NLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disorder) when I was nine, and let me tell you it. Messed. Me. Up. Not the actual learning disability, but the label of having it. The knowledge that I look like my family and friends, I talk like them, I move like them, I can stand among them and you could never pick me out of the crowd as being the one who is “broken”, yet I feel set apart from them.

Mirabel looks like her family. At the start of the movie the neighborhood kids assume she has a gift and they have to be told she doesn’t, because there isn’t anything about not having a gift that makes it obvious.

The song “Waiting on a Miracle” hit me particularly hard when I listened to it a second time. Mirabel telling herself not to be mad or upset when everyone was celebrating Antonio’s gift, and that she would stand on the side as everyone else shines. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to put feelings like that into words except for maybe “I don’t get THAT.” “THAT is for normal people; not me.” And these are feelings I would never want my loved ones to feel, so of course I would never hope for one of them to be hit with a diagnosis for an invisible disability. And yet... And yet sometimes I’m mad I’m the only one.

Mirabel singing about all of her family’s gifts. “I can’t move the mountains” “I can’t make the flowers bloom.” Was PEAK. I grew up with it being drilled into my head “It’s ok, everybody’s different.” But it never FELT ok and THIS IS WHY. Yes, everyone is different. But through my eyes, everyone is different like Isabella is different from Luisa. They can do different but equally incredible things. Mirabel can’t do ANY incredible things; not in the ways her family can.

“I would move the mountains. Make new trees and flowers grow. Someone please just let me know, where do I go?” Mirabel being willing to have ANY gift, just wanting a place. Any place. I really could go on and on about this song.

Finally, Abuela straight up tells Mirabel “I don’t know why you weren’t given a gift!” and, of course, the internet debates that brought me to this conclusion. There is no answer as to what happened at that door. Anyone can make their best guess, can look for clues hidden somewhere in the story, but there may never be a definitive reason for Mirabel being the way she is. She not only has to live with not being able to have the chance to change it, but she can’t even explain it. It’s just something that happened. It wasn’t her fault, she knows that, but she is still the one who has to live with it. Her dad says at one point that he gets it, but he doesn’t, because he wasn’t supposed to have a gift. He knows that he is exactly who he was meant to be, but Mirabel doesn’t. Maybe she is, maybe this is who she was supposed to be. Or maybe something went wrong. Maybe she was supposed to be different. If she was supposed to be different, would she rather be that person? 

This post has gone on long enough, and really I could keep going, but I’ll sum it up with this. I’ve seen characters intentionally written with learning disabilities and never really connected with them, for a lot of reasons. But a big one is their disabilities have been confined to the classroom. The stories about struggling with reading, or counting, or taking a timed test. But when school ends learning disabilities don’t get left in the classroom to be picked up again on Monday. They come home with you, they follow you through everything you do, and if you ever want to know what that feels like; watch Encanto.

[loosesodamarble]

The Music of Faustsele (Full Version)

Summary: I brainrot about my ships and Kenshi Yonezu's music. Also, none of this has been beta read. I only did light editing so this is gonna be very rambly and repetitive.

Word count: ~23,000 (not including the lyrics)

Taglist: @cringeyvanillamilk @thoughtfullyrainynightmare @the-fuegoleon-fluff

So Kenshi Yonzeu wrote a bunch of songs specifically for my ships Nacsele and Morgsele.

That’s a joke. But I’m still going to make my obsession everyone’s problem!

A while back, I was taking a Japanese class and one of the assignments was to read and answer questions about the lyrics of a song. The song in question was “Lemon” by Kenshi Yonezu. To make a long story short, I got attached to the song (it makes me cry like a baby each time I listen to it). And I also became interested in Yonezu’s work.

I found many other songs by Yonezu, and found out I was familiar with a couple already. And although I’m learning Japanese, I had trouble understanding the songs. But recently, thanks to the power of the internet, I was able to find a site that had all of Yonezu’s songs transcribed as well as translated. Here is the link to the site.

So remember as we go into this, none of these translations are mine so I'm not making up meanings to force songs I like to fit my ships. I'm just finding phrases or themes in songs I like that fit my ships.

I want to make it clear that I didn’t go through every single song written by Kenshi Yonezu. He’s got a long discography and I wasn’t quite ready to go through all of it. So the songs I picked out for Josele, Nacht, and Morgen are but a small selection of Yonezu’s works.

With all that said, let’s get this musical rollercoaster started.

(The song titles link to the complete lyrics in Japanese, romaji, and English. The following links take you to videos so you can listen to the songs.)

..........

Faustsele (Josele's feelings for the Fausts)

We start the story of Josele and the Fausts with songs from Josele’s perspective (with one exception). The songs here are towards both twins in general or to one in specific, though more the former. Because although her experiences with Morgen and Nacht differ greatly, she loves them simultaneously and equally.

Eine Kleine (music video): So the title is German, meaning “a small (thing)” and it’s apparently feminine in meaning. It fits the song as the point of view character is a girl, as the personal pronoun for “I” in the song is “atashi,” a feminine word for “I.” The overall story of “Eine Kleine” is that a girl has a sad life, probably has depression. She meets a boy and they become friends/a couple (it’s kind of unclear but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to lean romantic). The boy helps the girl live more happily though she continues to have her anxieties. The title can refer to how the girl feels about herself, small and insignificant, or the small act of the boy entering life which becomes very influential on her life.

I see this song as Josele’s feelings about her friendship with Morgen and Nacht in its early stages, as well as a look into their future. Before the twins entered her life, her happiness wasn’t as fulfilling because she didn’t have friends and devoted most of her time to working with her parents. Meeting the twins was the first time Josele really put herself out there and from there, she opened up to them and the world as a whole. However, even after becoming fast friends (as young children usually do), Josele had her doubts, best summed up in the first stanza.

I'm truly so happy to have met you, Yet, as if it follows naturally, it's all so sad... Now, with painfully happy memories, I walk on toward the inevitable farewell...

Josele formed a bond with Nacht and Morgen that she doesn’t want to lose. But she believes their friendship can’t last. Right? Still, she loves the time they spent together, the memories they made, even if she thinks it will come to an end. (The “inevitable farewell” line gets kind of dark when you think about how Morgen goes away in the end but that’s for another song to address.)

If I'm going to just live taking someone else's place, Then it'd be better if I could just be a pebble That way, there'd be neither misunderstanding nor confusion,

Josele worries about the friendship. About being replaced. About not having much in common with them and their differences creating a rift. Her biggest concern is wondering what Nacht and Morgen even see in her. She’s a commoner and they’re nobles. It’s something she’s well aware of, in the way she doesn’t understand things from their lives and vice versa. Compared to them, she’s nothing.

I'm so much more spineless than you seem to think me

I'm countless times more worthless than you seem to think me

These lines are Josele not seeing in herself what the twins see in her. She’s plain and hasn’t yet developed her future confidence. Thankfully, she does get over these insecurities. But before then, Morgen and Nacht are there to reassure her.

This is where the choruses come in. I really love the choruses of the song because of how they capture the pain and beauty of friendship/love.

To have everlasting sorrows and open seams, but also you; How happy I would be to smile and say, "It was for the best"... Everything before me seems to blur and melt; A flood of miracles wouldn't be enough... Because you called my name...

Please, for these nights I'll never, ever make it through, May these days never end, where you hold my hand and say we will... To vividly color even my closed eyelids, What can I possibly do? Is it all right if I call your name?

To have someone to create the best times of your life and to see you through the worst of times. And that’s what Josele’s friendship with the Fausts was and continues to be. She went from a dull life trying to be a “good child” to her parents to one where she can joke around and discover small, silly things alongside others. Nacht and Morgen are the greatest blessings in her life. Even if she isn’t perfect and shows weakness, they’re not going to let her despair. They treasure her as much as she does them.

And rather than the calling of the name being literal, I kind of imagine it as the act of calling each other friends. It’s unexpected of Nacht and Morgen to call Josele their friend. And she asks if it’s okay for her to call them her friends.

“Eine Kleine” is such a gentle and beautiful song. It’s definitely one of my favorites from Yonezu. I think it works well as expressing the starting point of Josele’s relationship with the Fausts because it expresses the feelings of insecurity and fear Josele has at the beginning. It does look into the future a bit so it could work for Faustsele in a general, long-term sense too. But I’m mainly using it to signify the beginning.

I’m also going to confess that the final shot of the girl and guy together in the music video inspired me to make touching foreheads Josele’s greatest show of affection. It’s a simple moment and gesture but it just hits me with the feels every time I see it. It felt right making it a part of Josele’s character.

Flowerwall (music video): Here in “Flowerwall,” we see Josele’s bond with the Fausts grows stronger. Like “Eine Kleine,” it’s ambiguous if this song is about a platonic or romantic but I think “Flowerwall” leans more platonic this time.

Our sadness, our kindness, our hope, and despair; We've come to share them with one another...

The early lyrics express how Josele, Morgen, and Nacht are becoming more involved in one another’s lives. They play together and learn from one another (the three have a lot to teach each of since the twins and Josele live very different lives). They see the hard parts of each other’s lives. Josele sees how Morgen and Nacht’s lives are dictated by rules and expectations. The twins come to understand how much Josele and her parents work just to live comfortably. But these differences only bring them together, as they want to help each other with their troubles.

How much longer will this time spent with you last? When will that light go out?

There is still a sense that the friendship could come to an end however. Although this time, it’s more about their parents than the trio themselves. The Faust parents weren’t entirely approving of their sons playing with a commoner. Not as low as a peasant but not as good as nobility. As for Josele’s parents, her mother fully supported the friendship but her father was very suspicious of Nacht (the kid’s first impression was stealing a knife from Thomas). However, Josele doesn’t really care about the parents’ disapproval. She’s happy with the twins. And they share similar thoughts. So they ignore it.

Your voice resounds so pleasantly, And it blows all such grief away…

We just went on calling that "fate," And always walking hand in hand…

How is it that we came to find one another?

I won't let go, because if I let go of your hand, I feel like I'll never grab hold again...

If no one knows about it, and no one's seen it, Then we should give it a name here and now…

All these lines together convey the invisible pull that Josele has towards Nacht and Morgen. Maybe it was all a coincidence that they crossed paths but Josele wants to continue living alongside them as long as possible. Because they made her happy and taught her how to enjoy her life. They are her first and dearest friends and she doesn’t want to let go of either Morgen or Nacht because they’re both equally important to her.

And yet those things which I lack, and those things which you lack, We somehow supplied for each other...

I like these lines from the second verse because they suit Josele and the Fausts. Josele is a commoner, physically strong and a little on the wild side. But she lacked confidence and a bit of tact. The twins are nobles, intelligent and elegant in their upbringing. But they’re also forced to be restrained in their behavior. The twins bring out a new side of Josele and she does the same for them.

Is this hell, or is it heaven? Well, it's all up to one thing: The path we two choose...

I think the hell or heaven line is a little funny because of Nacht and Morgen’s contrasting devil and angel motifs. Not a huge factor in why this is a Faustsele song (just a small factor), but I have to bring it up. But the lines also just work. Josele, Nacht, and Morgen, as young as they are at the time, are choosing what they want.

There’s also the matter of the “flowerwall” that comes up in the song’s choruses. In relation to Faustsele, the flowerwall is the relationship between Josele and the Fausts. Josele’s relationship with Nacht and Morgen is somewhat ambivalent. The way the first version of the chorus asks “Does it refuse us? Or is it for our protection?” reflecting how there are troubles and joys that come from the friendship. Regardless, that’s how things are. Not so much an impasse as a lack of need for an “answer.”

That which seemed impossible to settle alone, Once you came along, well... My boundless despair, Even all of my questions without answers, One by one, they took on color...

I especially like the second version of the chorus. I read it and imagine a stone wall covered in twisting vines. Then, the vines blooming with flowers of so many colors. Lots of flowers and colors, like the many memories Josele ends up making with the Fausts. And Josele’s loneliness was ended by the Fausts coming along. I know the song lyrics mention “two people (futari) being connected but I’m not going to let a lyric that comes up three times in the song stop me from making this about Josele and the twins.

Overall, “Flowerwall” is the song where Josele is more sure of her bond with Morgen and Nacht. There are still lingering doubts but they are drowned out by happiness.

orion (music video): The next Faustsele song is “orion” and this is where Josele’s feelings start turning romantic. There's a growing sense of intimacy in this song, although it can still be read platonically. There is also a dream-like quality to the instrumental component, capturing the light but fantastical feeling of falling in love.

Your fingers, your chest, your eyes; They're so radiant, some nights they dizzy me a little

This is Josele noting Morgen and Nacht's features because she’s spent years holding their hands, being hugged to their chests, and staring into their eyes. She’s memorized everything about the twins. Now when she thinks about those simple but intimate moments, in relation to those body parts, she gets a little dizzy from her blooming feelings of love.

Josele’s revelation of her romantic feelings for Nacht and Morgen are sudden to her. But the feeling fills her with warmth and it’s beautiful like the image of “a rainbow-color star.” It’s confusing too, and she kind of has to relearn how she sees the twins in this new light. She happily accepts it all though. Things don’t actually change that much between Josele and the Fausts.

Even in my dreams, I'm not skilled, not in a good state "Don't worry about it" - the things I lamented, the things I cried over

Pulling on frayed sleeve threads, we tried making a constellation, With each other's fingers as stars It was terrible, nonsense, so we laughed together; As long as you were there with me, it's all fine...

This is how Josele is. She will have moments when she voices negativity but quickly pushes those thoughts away with hope. She is human and thus still has her insecurities. But she doesn’t hide that negativity. She still laments and cries but she doesn’t let herself stay worried about them. And if she’s not at her best, then she can improve. All the while, she is with the twins, able to easily laugh alongside them about silly things.

God, please, please - let me hear that voice, If only just for a second... So that we never have to part again, I want you and I, like this constellation... To be tied together...

This version of the chorus is a prayer from Josele. After years with the Fausts, Josele doesn’t want to let them go. She’s stubbornly devoted and in love with them. She wants to have that bond, hear their voices, hold their hands. For as long as possible. The connection between stars making constellations is intangible and in reality, the stars are far apart, but from the view on earth, they’re close together and can create something pretty. That’s kind of how Josele feels about the Fausts. Even though they live in separate classes and didn’t have a lot in common in the beginning, they did meet and bond. She did fall in love with them and it’s a thing of beauty to her.

Now, no matter what difficulties arise, I can still try to love... But too weakly linked, across the dawn, They simply watched... Those blue eyes...

Here we get Josele’s thoughts, that she believes hope and love can overcome whatever troubles she faces. It’s also there that we get a mention of blue eyes. The English translation that’s provided implies the blue eyes to be the ones watching something else but I looked at the Japanese and I read it more as the speaker of the song staring into blue eyes. Either way it works, considering Nacht and Morgen have blue eyes.

One of my favorite parts of “orion” is the star imagery. I associate Josele with stars so it makes it feel more appropriate for the song to be linked to her character. Josele is a star, once alone, now forming a constellation with two people she’s fallen in love with. I simply find the song to be dreamy and romantic, a perfect summary of Josele’s feelings.

Spring Thunder (music video): Okay this is the song where Josele’s romantic feelings for Morgen and Nacht have reached their peak. This song takes place later on when Josele is with Morgen but before they’re engaged but I’ll point out why later on. But in general, Josele has grown more mature and so have her feelings. She is well and truly in love with them in this song. And it’s very complicated too.

I must start by pointing out how the physical description of the lover in the song is basically a perfect match for Morgen and Nacht’s appearances.

A thunderbolt with blue eyes, borrowing a human voice

The black of your hair, swaying and dancing, was more graceful than any other It suited well the clear white skin that could very well vanish into the air

Like… It’s very obviously the Fausts. Both are naturally black-haired with blue eyes, and in the anime, both seem to have pretty fair skin. Granted, only Morgen is showing his black hair since at age fifteen, Nacht is bleaching his hair. Later on, Nacht’s black hair returns though. The title and imagery of spring is also fitting since the twins were born in that season.

Onto less literal and on the nose lyrics. Josele laments her ever growing feelings for Nacht and Morgen.

Like any words, any gestures just wouldn't be enough Since that day, a storm settled down in my chest and never left

There is no easy way to describe love. For anyone. Even Josele with Emotion Magic can’t find all the words and actions necessary to express all her love. And now that she’s in love with Nacht and Morgen, she’s staying in love with them. However, it’s not a purely blissful feeling for her. Think about it, she’s in love with her best friends. Best friends who are brothers. She knows how unusual the situation is and it causes some negative feelings.

Blown around slowly, I feel deep perplexion, and pain, and grief, and yearning…

Deep perplexion, and pain, and grief repeated, and soon enough, it was spring Sweet scents, remnants, darkening, charred love; I grew deeply, deeply lost

Those troubling feelings and being in love with both twins are what keeps Josele from confessing her love on her own. She only makes her feelings known after Morgen confesses first. And even as she has these conflicted feelings, Josele keeps loving both.

In a brief moment, a pain-like love ran through my body…

Sweet scents, remnants, darkening, charred love; I grew deeply, deeply lost

The burning pain, the stabbing numbness, I understood it was a mouth-shut love,

These lines here say “love” in English but the specific word used in the original Japanese is “koi” which is romantic love. Josele’s feelings have grown and having romantic affections for both twins. And being with one adds to the confusion in her heart. Loving Nacht is painful and something Josele cannot bring up while with Morgen. Loving Morgen isn’t as troublesome because she can be open with her affection but she’s also “chosen” Morgen over Nacht which puts a bit of strain on that relationship.

Thankfully, it’s not all chaos and tumult. Because Josele is with Morgen, he is able to put her heart at ease, soothing whatever ache there is.

So I just looked in your eyes, and when I did, you suddenly smiled gently My hoarse heart, my noisy secrets, before I knew it, they were shattered

Words I want to ask, thoughts I want to tell, it's laughable how many I have And yet when you're in front of me, to think not a one can come out

While those lines are more for Morgen, there are lines that feel more directed at Nacht. They give more a sense of longing for what can’t be. Which is the situation Josele (and Nacht) have at this point in time.

Once the petals fall, it'll be farewell to you, in which case, won't you dance with me? The flowers dancing in air were so like you, I just had to give in

Please, deceive me, laugh that it's "love" for me, Until the day you disappear, just stay there...

I see these sets of lyrics being Josele wanting to remain close to Nacht, even if just friends. Nacht isn’t actually disappearing but the intent is that Josele wants to let go of her feelings for Nacht when she marries Morgen. Until then, though, she and Nacht can love each other as much as they can. Note that the “love” here is “ai” which is much more general in its usage. So I read it as Josele doing her best to hide her romantic love under friendly love.

“Spring Thunder” as a Faustsele song is fun because it’s about Morgen and Nacht at the same time but there are sections where only one is being spoken to. Josele loves Morgen and Nacht and that causes her heart some distress. In the end, she is coming to terms with it and finding peace with her feelings.

Sight for Sore Eyes (guitar cover): Alright, we’ve finally found a song that describes Josele's feelings towards one specific Faust. This time, Morgen. The feelings expressed in this song come after Josele and Morgen have begun dating but they’re not quite at the point of engagement. Josele is happy but nervous entering this relationship, but she has comfort and does find a sense of hope.

I only want you to tell me things that are no use for anything, With the light illuminating you as you say those silly things For now, shall I smile and pretend I can't see or hear a thing?

Josele wishes that her relationship with Morgen were simpler. She wants aimless conversations with Morgen, where what matters is that the two of them are together and happy. Josele wants to ignore the things that complicate their relationship, like their occupation or social status. It’s a little selfish of her, but she’s at least asking if she can do it “for now,” for a short moment.

I'm sure that you and I can't stay together forever Shall we eat something? Shall we talk now?

Doubt. It weighs heavily on Josele’s mind. Can she, a plain commoner girl, really end up with a noble who is the very image of perfection in many people’s eyes? So Josele asks only for simple things from Morgen. For a shared meal. For him to dance with her. To be happy with her as she is. She does enjoy grand shows of affection but like I said, she’s simple and wants to enjoy a simple love.

And I'd feel lucky if I could die just quietly passing the time like this As I listen to the rain falling and splashing and snuggle close to you,

Josele feels blessed to be with Morgen. If the present Josele told her past self that she’d be romantically involved with a noble after years of friendship, young Josele wouldn’t believe it at all. But now Josele enjoys the time she has with Morgen, all of it. It’s the mundane pleasures, like curling up on a rainy day, that give Josele the fulfillment she seeks for the time being.

"Alright, see you - tomorrow, right?" Even if such is how we end today, I've never once seen tomorrow, So I can't really speak on that...

"I'm sure the two of us are fine," You laugh childishly; You poke my cheek with your nose and laugh, You put words aside, and laugh again… What I want is simple - there's a future with you in it, And for me to just see what future that would be, That'd be a sight for sore eyes…

I like the way the versions of the chorus work together. The first take of the chorus is focused on Josele. She had always been afraid of a last “see you tomorrow” ever since she became friends with Morgen and Nacht. Worried that they would stop seeing each other and being friends. She doesn’t look to the future with hope as much as Morgen does. Which brings us to the second version of the chorus. Morgen has a bright optimistic view which reassures Josele. Even without Morgen though, Josele would be able to voice her simple desire of a future where Morgen is still beside her. For her, that vision of the future is something she welcomes, something beautiful and different from the dreary future she once thought she would have.

I think this song is best summarized by an alternate translation for the Japanese title. “Ganpuku” can also be translated as “seeing something beautiful or precious.” For Josele, she is envisioning a future with Morgen. It’s much better than the dreary life she would’ve thought she would have as a child. So even though neither she nor Morgen have everything figured out, Josele is happy in the moment and with the future that she has in mind. Simple, comforting and beautiful is what I’d describe this song as.

Lemon (music video): This song here is basically the theme song for Faustsele in my mind. Like, part of the reason why I once cried for two hours over this song is because I realized how much it applied to Josele, Morgen, and Nacht. This song is a bit of an exception because it doesn’t convey just Josele’s feelings towards Morgen and Nacht.

It starts with the structure of the song. “Lemon” is broken up into three sections. Section one is “How good would it be…”, section two starts at “In the darkness…”, and the third is “You who I loved…” The song is supposed to be understood with the first and third parts being from the perspective of a person whose lover died while the second section is the dead lover’s perspective. From that, it’s obvious why this applies to Josele and Morgen. But, the song still makes sense if you think of it as Nacht as the first perspective and Josele being the second. When Josele curses herself, Nacht kind of sees that as Josele dying in a sense. Even though Josele is cursed to be without emotions, she’s still suffering deep down but she wants Nacht to let her go and remain cursed (the wrong choice but regardless), essentially staying dead.

That isn’t the end of it though. In the context of Faustsele, the song is from Josele, Morgen, and Nacht’s perspectives. Josele first, burdened with heartbreak. Morgen comes second because he is the dead lover. Nacht takes the third part as he realizes the depths of his feelings.

And this is just the song’s structure. What about the actual lyrics?

Like I said, the song starts with Josele mourning Morgen.

How good would it be if this were a dream? Even now, I do dream about you As if coming back to retrieve what I forgot, I dust off these old memories...

One of Josele’s oldest friends and her fiance died. Not only that but she blames herself for it, being unable to heal Morgen. Of course she’s going to wish that it was all a dream, that it wasn’t real. And as she tries to cope with losing Morgen, Josele recalls the time they spent together because they’re the only way she’ll have him back.

I'm sure that causing any more harm Simply isn't possible, I know...

Considering that Josele spiraled into despair before eventually cursing her emotions away to stop feeling miserable, it’s safe to say that these lyrics fit Josele’s feelings. Yes, there’s more to her cursing herself than not wanting to be sad but her sadness that just wouldn’t go away is where it starts.

Even the sadness of that day, even the pain of it, I loved every part of it, alongside you

I don’t have one specific day in mind but in a general sense, Josele loved every moment she had with Morgen. Even sad memories because Morgen had been there to comfort her or she had been the one to be there for him. 

The line that really hits it home for me though…

Even now, you are my light...

Morgen used Light Magic. Josele calls him her “sunrise.” And even with him gone, she continues to love him. The love that endures loss and heartbreak is just… beautiful in a tragic way.

Now we move onto the second part with Morgen. He is alone in the afterlife. He is thinking about Josele. Of intimate moments with her in the past. And of what she could be doing, what she could be feeling, in the present now that he has passed on. Morgen is also faced with the fact that he died and it weighs heavily on him.

Every time I encounter something I can't bear, All that floods over are tears

Wherever you are now, if you're like I am, Wet with tears, in the midst of lonesomeness, I ask that you please just forget about me Such that I wish that from the bottom of my heart,

He’s only a ghost and now completely isolated from his loved ones. Yami and Nacht and Josele. I imagine Morgen being overwhelmed by the loneliness and guilt for giving his loved ones a reason to cry. That would be unbearable to him. For the sake of the song, Morgen is focusing on Josele. He lost the woman he loved due to dying and he would know that she would be heartbroken over the loss of him. And so Morgen wishes for Josele to forget him, maybe not completely erase him from her memory but to move on and find happiness without him. He loves her so much that he lets her go and wants her to let go of him too.

Josele being Morgen’s light isn’t as literal but of course it still applies. He calls her his heart and treasure. The second verse summarizes Morgen’s feelings for Josele, that he loves her even beyond the grave.

Finally, we come to the third part of the song focusing on Nacht’s feelings.

You who I loved, more than I realize, Ever since then, I can't breathe quite right

Nacht always knew he loved Josele. He just never said it because he never felt worthy of her love. It’s only after he’s broken her heart that he realizes just how much he loves her. Believing himself to be the one to cause her pain and seeing her as a shell of her former self, his own heart breaks.

Though you were so close, it's as if that was fake That I'll never be able to forget: that's all I'm certain of…

Nacht and Josele were close as kids. He was there beside her at the same time Morgen was. But with the current tension between him and Josele, it doesn’t feel as real. Nacht may despair for a time over his mistakes and the ripple effect of them, but he comes back. He won’t let go of his happy memories of Josele and refuses to give up on her.

Nacht is painfully, hopelessly in love with Josele. But with how things are, all he can do is pine. Then there’s Nacht calling Josele his light which is fitting as his (eventual) pet name for her is “star,” a light in the dark of night.

There’s so many emotions I have regarding “Lemon.” I don’t think I can put into words how much I absolutely adore this song. It made me cry. It inspired me. It was what properly introduced me to my now favorite musician. And the vibes it has for Faustsele is too perfect! All the emotions and thoughts perfectly encapsulated into this one song! Sorry to go on and on about “Lemon” but I can’t help it.

But we do have to move onto the next song.

Donut Hole (music video) (guitar cover): Here comes the second Morgen specific song from Josele. Taking place after Josele has cursed herself, the song is about missing someone in one’s life. The trouble is that the person in question can only be defined by the absence of them. The song centers not just on Josele's feelings for Morgen but also her curse, which has an effect on those feelings and more.

When did I get these memories, These big ones I can't remember? Out of what I just can't recall, There's one thing I remember pretty well

For context, Josele’s memory becomes messy after putting herself under a curse and taking on Forbidden Magic. Due to her curse, she can’t retain new memories well and even her memories of the past are foggy due to lacking an emotional connection to those moments. I don’t have any reason why that would happen other than chalk it up to magical effects. Not all of Josele’s memories are gone, mind you. She’s not suffering from serious amnesia but like I said, it’s messy.

And yet you yourself, I'm not sure why, But I still can't remember you...

Light rain settles on my eyelids, And I still can't hear that dead, dark voice…

When I'd try to count all the simple feelings, I'd find I forgot even the warmth you shared with me Goodbye, and we'll never, ever meet again;

These lyrics contine that idea of Josele trying and struggling to hold onto her memories of Morgen. The look of his face. The sound of his voice. The love they shared. But even with her feelings locked away, Josele knows that Morgen is important and that she cannot forget him. However, Morgen died and even if Josele had the heart to want him back, the dead cannot return to life.

The hole opened up in my chest, Now it's the only thing that proves you And yet I'm still so empty; My heart is torn to ribbons, there's nothing I can do…

I can't hope on things that have passed, So just give me something to fill with...

Josele’s broken heart and fading memories make it difficult for her to believe that what she shared with Morgen was real. That’s despite knowing that Morgen lived, that they were engaged, and that she cursed herself in the first place to stop the pain of losing him. The self-inflicted curse has left Josele without an important part of who she is. She’s made herself empty and resigned herself to a fate of being cursed forever. All she has now is her duty as a Magic Knight but soulless duty will never replace her joys and sorrows or the years she spent with Morgen.

In the end, I remembered that little word Taking my breaths calmly, my eyes opened up...

Thankfully, Josele will eventually find herself again. She’ll rediscover her emotions and slowly weaken the curse before it breaks fully. And as the curse comes undone, Josele will find peace and remember. But until then, there will be a hole in her heart that haunts her.

It’s interesting how the fast paced energy of the song kind of hides how sad the lyrics are, but I think that’s a trend in some Vocaloid songs, which “Donut Hole” initially was. Like how Josele’s curse hides who she truly is. I also see the moments of dissonance in the song as reflecting how the curse isn’t right and how it hurts Josele. “Donut Hole” is both similar and dissimilar to Josele, as it’s high energy unlike her cursed state but chaotic like her state of mind.

Melancholy Kitchen (guitar cover): At last, a song about Josele's feelings for Nacht specifically. This song takes place after Josele’s curse is broken but a full reconciliation with Nacht hasn’t happened quite yet. It’s a song that expresses change and gratitude with a touch of affection, though it’s not quite love. Josele does love Nacht but this song isn’t where she expresses that feeling.

Your profile and your hair color, I saw them side by side on a quiet table Within a slightly bland potato, Within pasta with too much salt…

In the depths of nights without you there, I saw my own detestable smallness Within worthless quarrels and tears, Within that foolishly smiling face…

These first stanzas are Josele reflecting on the past, specifically Nacht and herself. She is reminded of Nacht by sad or disappointing things. She’s not upset with him but there are painful memories associated with him. There’s nothing wrong with Nacht; it’s simply that there are times when he isn’t at his best, just like how some food doesn’t turn out quite right. As for herself, Josele hates the grief-driven choices she made, the curse and hosting a devil. She treated everyone horribly, fighting with Nacht over her decisions and hurting many people’s feelings without a second thought. She might not have smiled while cursed, but she was in a sense pretending everything was fine. Looking back, she hates the person she was.

I can't say, I can't say it, I can't say I'm fine all alone Let's talk, speak up, about our bright future; So even if I mess up and freeze it, you'll be there for me…

In the present, Josele admits how much she missed Nacht. After Morgen’s death, Nacht disappeared from Josele’s life for a time and later left Josele for his mission in Spade. Now that she’s able to feel again and Nacht is back to stay, Josele wants to be hopeful about the future. If something goes wrong along the way, she knows that Nacht will forgive her.

Laugh, laugh, laugh, just like that; Like a spell's been cast, we'll make the world anew And the shroud of uncurable gloom in this room, You chewed on it like it was tasty, and gulped it down…

Josele wants herself and Nacht to laugh freely the way they did as youths. To take another chance at living life together. It doesn’t get rid of all they’ve endured but neither Josele nor Nacht is trying to do that. What actually happens is that the two of them will take those painful memories and accept them as part of their lives. It’s about that balance between joy and sorrow which lays the groundwork for Nacht and Josele’s future.

Your cheeks and the bridge of your nose, Now I see them side by side on a quiet table Sweet cherry bonbon left in the room, And a forcibly-baked Tarte Tatin...

With the second verse, Josele has moved past remembering the sad things about Nacht and is now thinking of sweeter things. They are childhood friends after all and, as said earlier, they’re trying to live happily now. There’s a bit of pain still there, as the Tarte Tatin is described as “forcibly-baked,” which indicates the struggle to find happiness again.

I can't say, I can't say it, I can't say I've come to hate you Let's talk, speak up, about both our thoughts; So I can speak to you without getting embarrassed…

When all is said and done, there is no resentment from Josele towards Nacht. She knows he never meant those hurtful words he said. It was a tragedy and Nacht wasn’t in the right headspace. What Josele wants to tell that to Nacht, that and so much more. She and Nacht do need to talk about what happened and how they can move on from there.

It's like a world where we've finally been granted freedom Scooping out the first mouthful of the prepared food, You happily blew and offered it to me...

This moment of domesticity is a dreamed up scenario within the future Josele wants with Nacht. But also that “first mouthful” is symbolic of the first step to the future. The two of them have the freedom to live contently. All that Josele asks is for Nacht to join her in it. She wants him to offer and share his joys with her.

And well, just how much you've saved me, maybe you wouldn't know… If and when we meet tomorrow, I hope I can be honest then…

And well, just how much you've saved me, even if you do happen to know… If and when we meet tomorrow, I hope I can put it into words…

As much as Nacht did hurt Josele with his accusation and abandonment of her, he also never gave up on her. In my oc-verse, Nacht went to Spade not only for the mission but also to look for a way to free Josele from her devil and curse. It’s thanks to Nacht’s persistence that Josele does return to her normal self. Nacht may only look at what he’s done wrong at first but will eventually recognize all the good he’s done for her. Josele, meanwhile, is looking for a way to express everything she feels for him. Not only gratitude for saving her but the years of unspoken feelings.

The way the song opens with pessimistic thoughts and then builds up to a turn around to positivity is great in my opinion. There isn’t much about the tune or tempo changes, it’s mostly in the words. That sentiment works perfectly for Josele and Nacht because their relationship is very complex in nature. Still, through the good and bad, Josele has cared for Nacht and always will. And now, she’s ready for a change for the better.

love (cover): This song isn’t a soft or hopeful love song. It encompasses love that is filled with pain and fear and loss. If you haven’t caught on yet, that’s kind of a theme in the whole Faustsele storyline. With her curse finally broken, Josele is able to come to terms with the loss of Morgen while still keeping her love for him in her heart. And she is now able to express her love for Nacht after so many years of being unable to say so for various reasons.

Alongside the dawn, with this voice, "Don't forget," I let loose to the sea Thousands of lights flow by; Struck by the wind, they're sent outward…

Watching the sunrise is one of Josele’s favorite things and she called Morgen “sunrise” so I imagine this is her speaking to the dawn as if it’s Morgen, saying to him and herself not to forget their love. The wind carries Josele’s wish away, as it’s only for herself and Morgen, even if he’s not physically by her side anymore.

Even if we become however far apart, Even if we're deeply wounded always, Even if we can never meet again, Even if we might cease to remember...

It’s not a physical distance but the divide of life and death separates Josele and Morgen. Even if she’s healing, Josele was still deeply wounded by losing Morgen. They won’t see each other in life again. And even though she holds her memories of Morgen close, time will eventually take them away. Despite all that, Josele will love Morgen, without question.

Over and over (and over, and over), we shout toward the sea; Through a dark (dark, dark) lonesomeness, we walk…

Now Josele is with Nacht. Their relationship isn’t nearly as clean and bright as Josele and Morgen’s was. For so long, things were strained between them due to various factors and Nacht working in Spade kept them apart on top of that. Still, they are able to walk together.

Even if we can't live eternally, Even if we'll someday be hated, Even if no one was at fault, Even if the pain will never fade...

Not that either want to live forever, but it’s more the idea that one of them will die first and the other will mourn that death. Josele ended her contrast but she, like Nacht, was a devil host and both would be hated for using Forbidden Magic. Neither were truly to blame but Josele and Nacht both put blame on themselves. And the scars of the past, what they endured, will never go away, not entirely at least. Josele still finds comfort in each Nacht’s presence and loves him, and she’s sure he feels the same.

As tragic as her life is. As much as she’s lost. Josele loves Morgen and Nacht to this day and forever more. That’s what the song "love" represents. It’s short but it says a lot about Josele’s feelings and the relationship she has with the twins.

WOODEN DOLL (music video): The last of the Faustsele songs. And this one is dedicated to Josele’s feelings towards Nacht. In general, I think “WOODEN DOLL” speaks to certain parts of Nacht’s character and thus gives voice to many of Josele’s concerns for him.

Please, don't make that face, like you're sucking up every sorrow there is

Please, I don't like to see you beat up by memories that have passed…

Just how much pain do despair and resignation bring? Nobody else would understand; only you know what's right for you...

Nacht hurt his loved ones—Morgen, Yami, Josele—because of his reckless actions. He takes the guilt of Morgen’s death and even Josele’s downward spiral upon himself. The memories have haunted him for years. And Nacht, he holds onto those memories, that guilt, to punish himself. Josele sees this and would be concerned. She asks Nacht not to burden himself in such a way because she knows what it’s like to hate and punish one’s self. Cursing herself was that for herself, in part. However, she knows she doesn’t fully understand what’s going on in Nacht’s mind but she hopes that he will find the closure he needs.

As much as you distrust affection and friendship, They're not things you give all by yourself, nor decide alone...

These lines are about Nacht not believing that he is deserving of love and friendship. It’s less about not trusting in a general sense but more specifically he doesn’t trust himself with something so kind. And Josele is there to tell Nacht that she loves him, that Yami is his friend, regardless of what Nacht says. He can’t stop them from feeling the way they do.

You're not as awful as you think; Certainly sometimes, it must be someone else's fault I won't say to stop wishing pain on others; That's just another part of you… But you see, you're only looking at what you've lost, Yet have you counted what you've been given? If you've forgotten, then make yourself remember; If you don't, I'll be so sad...

The bridge of “WOODEN DOLL” is basically just Josele pouring her heart out to Nacht. He’s not pure evil. Morgen’s death doesn’t fall solely on Nacht’s shoulders. And even the spiteful parts of Nacht are okay to have, though it’s definitely something that needs to be worked on. Josele does acknowledge that Nacht suffered in the past but his present is full of hope, now that he’s living with the Black Bulls. And it hurts her when Nacht can’t see what’s right in front of him. Nacht is hurting himself and Josele both by denying his own happiness.

I’m going to circle back to the choruses, specifically the first version of it. Because it’s the first version of the chorus that has really strong Nacsele vibes.

I love you even when you hate yourself - do you hate me, too? It's always this way; deep in their hearts, everyone looks down on others, Paralyzed by the fear of being looked down upon…

The first half of the first line is pretty self explanatory. But the second half, asking if Nacht hates Josele too makes sense because he hated what Josele had become after she cursed herself. Nacht did hold himself responsible for driving her to that action with his accusation. As for the last two lines, Nacht looked down on the Black Bulls because they embodied the faults of his own past, being reckless and frivolous and delinquents. He hated them because he hated himself and projected it outward.

This song isn’t all about concern and looking on the past however. It’s ultimately loving and hopeful. Remember the line about counting what has been given and being loved despite hating one’s self. That spirit is shown best in these lyrics.

Make sure to speak, as loud as you can; now open your eyes - wah-hah-haha!

Make sure to laugh; lie on the couch, hold your belly - wah-hah-haha!

Before you cry that "it isn't anywhere," Make sure to look at me, right in front of you…

Josele wants Nacht to be able to look to the future. To smile and laugh with confidence that he deserves happiness. And if Nacht doubts him himself, in happiness, Josele asks him to look to her. Because she will be there for him.

“WOODEN DOLL” really is a perfect song for Josele and Nacht. It mentions the things Nacht struggles with but without getting weighed down with those heavy feelings. Throughout, it is energetic. It’s a song of hope, something which Nacht really needs and Josele already holds for his sake.

You Are Ugly (song): The idea of ugliness as used in the song isn’t about appearance. The Japanese word for ugly “minikui” does have to do with looks but the kanji in the word is also associated with shameful behavior. The way I see it, ugliness is metaphorical for being flawed and broken as a person. Nacht and Josele are both ugly in that understanding.

Eating life and laughing - how does it feel? Have you found love? Words are constantly killing people; You and I are murderers both…

This first verse is Nacht speaking about Josele. He watches as she’s smiling and enjoying life once again. It makes Nacht happy to know that she’s able to be happy herself. The question of finding love already has an answer, Nacht knows, but he still asks to hear the answer from Josele herself. The thought of words killing is something Nacht understands well, given what happened between him and Josele. They’ve both hurt each other with words, but they’re also murderers on the sense that they carry guilt for Morgen’s death.

You are ugly; you can't survive on your own, And you won't even believe that - you are ugly… But even still, I want to love you, I want to love you until the day I die alone…

Nacht knows Josele is broken, that she really can’t do well on her own. She puts her wants and needs beneath others so without anyone else to care for her, she would destroy herself. It has happened before, too. She isolated herself from others after Morgen’s death, later turning to curses and Forbidden Magic. Because of that, she’s irreparably tainted, she wouldn’t agree on that. She knows Forbidden Magic was a mistake, but she’s not evil or irredeemable for it. She believes that not only about herself but Nacht too. Forbidden Magic is considered taboo but they are not evil for having gotten involved with it. The line about “dying alone” reminded me of a quote by Orson Welles. “We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” And so Nacht wants to love Josele, in all her flaws and pains, and be connected to her until they eventually die as individual beings.

Sharing in solitude - how does it feel? Have you found love? While you trample on your hoarse voice, Don't forget you're alive…

Josele is speaking now. She’s commenting on how she and Nacht both know what it’s like to be isolated from others, having closed themselves off from others at some point in their lives. She asks him how he feels about their shared loneliness. Then she asks if he recognizes the love she has always had for him. The last lines of the verse are Josele pleading with Nacht to be kind to himself and keep living, even as he still struggles to move past his guilt.

You are ugly; you can't fully be an adult, Nor even fully a child - you are ugly… But even still, I want to love you, I want to love you if only for a moment…

Childhood is associated with innocence and thus adulthood carries the connotation of being evil. Josele is pointing out that Nacht is flawed but also hurt. He isn’t fully evil because he has the desire to help others, to see that good people are rewarded for their choices. He has a good heart, one that cares for others. But Nacht can’t be fully innocent either because of all the mistakes he’s made earlier in life. He once reveled in the darkness of Forbidden Magic and was selfishly power hungry. He did change for the better, but his past still exists. Regardless, Josele will love Nacht. In the grand scheme of things, compared to the infinity of time, Josele’s life is only a short moment, but for all her life, she loved Nacht and will continue to do so until she passes on.

From giant stars, to little flowers, No one will excuse us; Carrying countless sins and shames, Today, and tomorrow, we live…

These lines are Josele and Nacht both reflecting on their lives. By using Forbidden Magic, they’ve tainted their souls. Human law and the laws of nature have both condemned the two of them. The weight of their actions will be with them but, still, they find the will to live on.

You are ugly, not fit for conversation, And much like you, I'm ugly myself… But even still, I want to live with you; I want to love you, only making myself lonely…

“Not fit for conversation” conveys the idea that even normalcy is no longer possible. Nacht and Josele can pretend to be normal but they’ve been broken in ways that make them unlike most people. They see one another’s and their own ugliness. And they love each other, promising to be with one another. The loneliness that is created is the understanding that they might be the only people capable of truly understanding and loving each other. Yes, other people care about Josele and Nacht, but they can't comprehend what the two of them have been through together. It is both deeply intimate but also painful to consider. It's a love that blesses and curses them in a way.

I think the closest song I can compare "You Are Ugly" to is "Like Real People Do" by Hozier. Both songs express the idea that people who are broken or have dark secrets can still find and be reborn through love. Though Yonezu's song sounds harsher using the word "ugly," the overall message is as tender as Hozier's. "You Are Ugly," how it's a love song built on acknowledging the worst parts of one's partner and loving them still, is so fitting for Josele and Nacht, and I couldn't not share this song.

..........

Morgsele (Morgen's feelings for Josele)

Next up, I’m going to explain the songs that represent Morgen’s feelings for Josele. We’re covering these songs first because there are fewer Morgsele songs than Nacsele songs (unfortunately) and also the relationship comes earlier in the timeline.

Jade Wolf (song): With “Jade Wolf,” we’re starting at the point in time where Morgen has realized his feelings for Josele. The song is one that acknowledges struggle while also looking towards a brighter future. It, like Morgen, is hopeful in nature.

The way I read the song, the “jade wolf” spoken of is meant to be the person that the speaker loves. In the English, there is a change of pronouns from “it” to “you” but except for the “jibun” in the second verse, there’s no pronouns distingishing the wolf from who the speaker is addressing. So with the song being from Morgen’s perspective, the jade wolf is Josele.

So what’s said about the jade wolf?

The jade wolf sighs again, not knowing the beauty it possesses; Faced with a high cliff, it sighs; it’d be easy if you just got somebody’s help

The jade wolf is relentless, pointing its anger at itself and singing a song; Fight, even if still no one knows - as long as you can love yourself…

For Josele, the “beauty” that’s unrealized isn’t just literal but also a metaphor for her good qualities overall. Josele has confidence in herself but when she compares herself to others, she sees herself as coming up short. She’s not literally as beautiful as noble ladies and she can’t match the magical strength of people like Yami or Morgen. And in the times when Josele struggles with herself, Morgen wants her to know that what matters in the end is if she loves herself.

I read the “heart’s landmarks” mentioned here to be the things that should matter to Josele. Her opinion of herself, her family and loved ones. The things that define her and give her heart direction. Even with memories of loneliness or confusion, Morgen wants her to continue forward in life doing her best.

I’ve not at all made up my mind how far away I want to go

But are the places full of warmth somewhere still far to go?

Just what are the irreplacable things?

Through never-leaving memories and ever-present suffering, I spend my days just waiting anxious for the end to come

Morgen also has his own troubles to face. Though he would be better at not letting it show, he’s still human and worries about things. He is an optimistic person but there are a lot of things he can’t be certain of. What his future as a Magic Knight holds. The difference between things that are just important and those which he would be unable to live without. There’s also memories of the past and present struggles which hold him back from pursuing the future to his fullest.

The only thing I really want is meeting up with you

Until, to you, who in this world’s more beautiful than anyone- Until the day that I can tell you how much I love you…

There is one thing that Morgen is sure of, however, and that’s his feelings for Josele. He wants to stay connected to her, to meet her in the future, come what may. And Morgen also hopes that one day he’ll be able to confess. He does get the chance but this is set before that moment arrives.

I like “Jade Wolf” as a Morgsele song because, at least the way I read it, the song is for both the speaker and the listener of the song. The speaker reassures the one they love about their anxieties and voices their own. It puts them on equal ground. The song says “we’re both imperfect and struggling but I want a bright future for us.” Despite the little we see of Morgen, he does feel like a person who would hold such feelings.

PLACEBO (song): PLACEBO sounds like something you’d dance to in a club. Granted I’ve never been in a club, I’m just going off vibes, but that’s besides the point. The point is that this song embodies the excitement as well as playfulness in Morgen and Josele’s relationship as they begin dating.

Dreaming feverish dreams, an evening bound by your smile These thoughts, a fleeting delusion? That's not funny at all

At first, Morgen is worried that this new relationship is too good to be true. That he’s having the longest, most pleasant dream of his life. Maybe Josele’s feelings won’t last. Or perhaps the case is that Morgen is mistaking his friendly love for romantic attraction and it might fade soon. No matter what it could be, Morgen doesn’t want those possibilities to be reality and then have to face a sad outcome.

Sprinting off and abducting my heart, go connect the would-be beats Light a fire in that fragrant chest, and let's dance through to the morning Head to the end of that bending, swaying runway, and take my heart along I want us to touch, I want us to shake, it has to be you, this bewilderment...

To put it simply, Josele has stolen Morgen’s heart. He knows this and is perfectly alright with that. I interpret the “go connect the would-be beats” part of the first line as Morgen saying that Josele creates a whole new heartbeat for him out of all the times she’s made his heart skip a beat, hence the “would-be.” Although that’s only based on the English translation so I’m not sure if that was ever the original intention. Either way, being in love and expressing those feelings is a thrill to Morgen that he’s never known before. Morgen wants to experience all those feelings and sensations that come with being in love. And he wants to do it all with Josele.

It's becoming more and more like romance, my heart beating faster, It's unprecedented, a wild rendezvous

Getting caught in a sweet trap, I'm falling down

The first line here is pretty literal. Morgen and Josele have entered a romantic relationship after all. Note that the line in Japanese uses “koi,” the romantic word for “love.” He wouldn’t hold back any of his affection for Josele now that they’re dating, making him enthusiastic to the point of wildness which wold be unexpected of a normally composed person like him. And even though Morgen has already fallen in love with Josele, he will fall in love with her over and over throughout their relationship. Although calling love a “trap” would feel silly to Morgen since a trap is something he wouldn’t want to be in. But his feelings for Josele? He feels very comfortable with them.

I want to make sure (I want to make sure) of that day's coincidence (of that day's coincidence) I want to resolve it, this unexplored mystery (this unnoticed gravity) We can't go back (we can't go back) to how it was before (to how it was before)

Morgen wants to be absolutely certain that whatever is happening between him and Josele is real. He wants to explore their new romantic dynamic and make sense of it. In regards to going back to being friends, it’s less that they “can’t” and more that they don’t want to. At least Morgen knows he doesn’t want that and is (correctly) assuming that Josele doesn’t either. 

It's a temporary crazy, an afterquaking sanity A magic spell that at some point made everything change

Love does kind of make one feel weird or crazy which Morgen would feel on the high that is his love for Josele. Though it’s not exactly the love itself that was that made things change all of a sudden. For Morgen, it was the confession that made it happen.

With a step thrusting out before feelings, fly out into sweet space In this evening's end we've waited for, let's dance through to the morning Intoxicated by glittering lips, issue me an invitation to eternity

These lines express Morgen’s eagerness to be with Josele. To act on his impulses and be as romantic as he likes with her. That “sweet space” for Morgen would be PDA, as he wants to allow himself the freedom to show his adoration of Josele in public. In the high of romantic bliss, Morgen would want to dance with Josele, maybe not literally until morning though he would think he has the energy for that with how fast his heart is racing. But I also think it’s metaphorical. The “evening’s end” is the lead up to their romance—all the crushing and longing it entails—with the dance being their relationship continuing on, not until morning, but towards a bright future. And finally, Morgen would want the pleasure of being tempted to kiss Josele and having the liberty to follow that temptation.

It's becoming more and more like love, my excitement growing, Running into you in a wild peek-a-boo Radiating brilliantly, the mystery deepening,

Here in the second version of the chorus, the word for “love” from the original Japanese is “ai.” I think it highlights how much love is being felt within the song, so much that both of the main words for it have to be said to express. And Morgen is the kind of person who would do that to express his adoration for Josele. Also, the playfulness of the second line is cute. I just imagine Morgen approaching Josele from behind to cover her eyes and whisper “peek-a-boo” into her ear before turning her around for a kiss. Cute, cheesy couple stuff. And while their love is very open, like something shining light, the complexity of the feelings are a bit of their own mystery.

It's not a fleeting delusion, these feelings are no lie It's not my imagination, these feelings are no lie

Here, Morgen is confirming to himself that everything is in fact real. His feelings for Josele. Her feelings for him. Their relationship. What Morgen has with Josele isn’t going to fade away just like that. And that reassurance is freeing.

I really like “PLACEBO” for the vibes it gives off. Fun and free and flirty. Not something that could normally be applied to Morgen but it would show when he’s with Josele. I imagine Morgen and Josele dancing to a song like this, having fun and getting comfortable with openly flirting with one another. It’s another high energy song before Morgen settles into the couple status more and his feelings deepen.

Canary (music video): These are the thoughts that Morgen has once he feels more sure of his relationship with Josele and has come down from that initial high at the start of dating. He’s quietly, peacefully considering the bond that the two of them share.

The more nostalgic I get for commonplace days, The more I tremble on sinking, sputtering nights,

As things change and he moves to the future, Morgen would think about the past with greater fondness. And sometimes, the memories and emotions would overwhelm him to the point of tears. It’s not a bad thing though. They are what make Morgen himself and he’s grateful to be able to look on his past with such clarity.

The time I walked with you through stuffiness, Then when I turned around, saw your smiling face; For some reason, I recalled that

Being Magic Knights, Morgen and Josele face a lot more trying situations. Through tough missions, judgment of their relationship, and their own inner demons, the two of them go through it together. Morgen is thinking about these recent trials in life and how a part of him worried about Josele during them. But then he was able to see Josele smiling through it all. It’s a relief, an inspiration, for Morgen. Knowing that Josele isn’t discouraged reassures Morgen.

I think I want to remember how your fingertips were trembling…

I want to support you more than anything - I feel that so, so strongly...

Morgen knows Josele is strong, physically and emotionally. But in these lines, he is lamenting the fact that she is also weak and thinks to himself how he wants to protect her in those moments when she is vulnerable. Whether she is shaking with fear or sorrow, Morgen will be there for Josele. Because she does the same for him. It doesn’t make Josele any less if she shows weakness, it’s just another part of her. And Morgen loves every part of Josele.

You and I will both change, I'm sure Sometimes we'll quarrel and hurt each other, I'm sure Every time we lose sight of each other, I want to fall in love, And assure each other...

These lines are all about reaffirming the love that’s shared. It’s true that Morgen has fallen in love with Josele as she presently is but he wants her to know he’s fine with her changing. And if they ever disagree, Morgen loves her enough to forgive and make amends. Because it’s in their nature as humans. Morgen wants to fall in love over and over, through their best and worst times.

The various lines across the different versions of the chorus say it all best.

It's fine; if I'm with you, it's fine Even if we can never return to this place again, If I'm with you, it's fine Let's walk together, until the end

It's fine; it's you, so it's fine Even if no one can see the two of us, It's you, so it's fine Going the way the fluttering wind calls…

Even if there's nothing there at the end,

Morgen believes that with Josele at his side, he can face whatever the world throws at him. As much as things change. If society doesn’t approve of them. If they don’t become anybody special. Morgen is telling Josele that he wants to be with her forever. That they’ll do whatever calls to them. The two of them will be okay together. It’s a gentle message of hope and comforting love.

Perhaps Morgen is saying the things that come up in the lyrics to Josele directly. Or maybe he’s thinking to himself. Either way, Morgen has a clearer understanding of his love for Josele and putting it to words. “Canary” is a quiet and intimate song that seems just so perfect for a kind, loving person like Morgen.

Fireworks (music video) (Yonezu cover): “Fireworks” is this romantic, dreamlike song that, to me, somehow feels like it is nostalgic for the present while wishing for the future at the same time. This song isn’t a grand moment of realization, but it’s one of the moments where Morgen just stops and thinks to himself about his love for Josele.

That day I looked over the shore, I still remember it now  Words etched into the sand, and the view of you from behind

Waves nearing and retreating pass my feet, carrying something In the evening calm, only the sunset passes by

A while ago, I released a theory/headcanon that the Fausts lived relatively close to the coast of Clover Kingdom. So these lines are taken quite literally, as Morgen reminiscing about a time, any at all, when he took Josele to the beach for a date. The moment was utterly serene with just himself and Josele present. He is remembering the mundane beauty of it. Of a beach he’s been to dozens of times over the years. Of the young woman whom he’s known and loved for so long.

Blooming with a bright pop, I watched the fireworks This is a summer still neverending, I'm sure... Unraveling and tying my unsure heart, I wished this night would continue on...

These lines could be literal. Morgen and Josele watching an actual firework show in the summertime and Morgen wishing to hold onto such a dream-like moment for much longer. Although I have a metaphorical reading. The fireworks are a stand-in for the relationship between Morgen and Josele, it’s something beautiful and bright in their lives. And instead of just the night of fireworks continuing, Morgen is wishing for their love to continue. I do like the imagery of the third line. Imagining the heart as a ball of tangled yarn, like emotions being a tangled mess, and then securely tying the heart to a certain moment or feeling.

What can that do for your smiling face? Being hurt, finding joy, repeating waves and emotions

Again and again, I'll put it into words and call for you Choosing a gap in the waves, once more, more, more, more, So that you won't have to be sad again...

Morgen wants to be the one to make Josele smile each and every day. So he asks her what he can do to make that happen. The connection between ocean waves and emotions is something I like, too. Like waves, feelings ebb and flow and can come in varying degrees of strength. Then, to make Josele happy, he will reassure her of his love as many times as necessary. The last line is basically what Morgen promises to Josele in the future, that he will never make her cry from sadness.

The warm future we could touch if we reached out our hands,

Morgen doesn’t want to merely wait for the future to come to him. He’s going to reach out and take it in his hands if he can. He wants to actively move towards a fate he desires. One filled with warmth and hope. And if Josele is there too, even better.

Don't let go, (don't leave me,) For just a little longer, (for just a little longer,) For just a little longer, Stay this way...

These little lines, which get echoed in the duet version of the song, is Morgen wanting to stay with Josele. And in the duet, Josele is sharing the sentiment. It’s short and sweet and beautiful like that.

I love “Fireworks” for the dreamy atmosphere the tune creates. It takes something that feels very common (summer fireworks) and makes it feel new. It’s that beauty in the familiar that connects to Morgen and the way he feels for Josele. The song’s lyrics show a love for the present and hope for the future which is part of their relationship too.

Night Bugs on a Rainy Street (guitar cover): The next song for Morgsele is a light-hearted and fun one. Maybe I’m focusing on the title too much, but when I listen to “Night Bugs on a Rainy Street,” I imagine Morgen pulling Josele to dance in the rain. The tune is upbeat with a sense of smoothness to it. And the vibes with the lyrics make it a song that is a declaration of love in a “it’s just the two of us” way. Putting this song in the timeline of the ship, it takes place later in the relationship but before Morgen and Josele become engaged.

Was it your hand or mine that was trembling? That night when the town lights bounced off the rain...

For me, the first lines set a scene where Morgen and Josele are standing under a veranda at night while it rains. Perhaps whoever’s hand is trembling is a result of the cold rain or being overcome with emotion. The moment isn’t all gloomy though, as indicated by light reflecting on the rain. It introduces a brightness to the moment.

Exchanging mismatched words, laughing together If we're together, I'm sure we can go to all corners of the earth...

In the quiet of a rainy but illuminated night, Morgen is able to be at ease with Josele. They can be relaxed and joke around, friends and lovers at the same time. Morgen loves that about Josele and their relationship. Morgen also has the optimism and confidence to make the claim spoken in the second line. Like the last couple of songs, this one is thinking about the future as well.

It was like an ambiguous game of spotting mistakes, Not knowing what was a mistake and what was correct

We just bluffed and said "this must be right," But really, we knew what was at the end of the road

Though Morgen is still growing, he’s still young and figuring things out. He’s going through life by following his heart and being true to who he is. And Josele is much the same. They do their best even if they won’t always be right.

Making a promise that no one knows about, We alone knew it and walked along To the point of exaggeration, we'll sing of love, Hoping to paint over the sad songs…

We gripped it between our hands Even if we're made fun of, we'll sing of love, Hoping that I could go anywhere with you...

The lines from the choruses are the core of the idea of “it’s just the two of us” in regards to love. It’s not an “us against the world” mindset that Morgen is holding. The way I apply “Night Bugs on a Rainy Street” to Morgsele, the “promise” in question isn’t a literal one but rather the topic of Morgen and Josele’s relationship. While they are publicly dating, no one knows everything about what they share. Morgen’s belief is that he and Josele are the only ones who define their relationship. And they can have literal secrets as a couple. Thus, no one else “knows” it. From there, Morgen and Josele can overcome negativity or judgment. Morgen wants their love to truly belong to them.

"Don't wake up," "don't go away," I'm wishing like such a fool And saying we could go anywhere, I told blatantly obvious lies...

Here is a moment of Morgen letting his guard down, showing fragility in his desires. He doesn’t want to lose what he has with Josele so he begs her not to leave him. Morgen also isn’t above admitting that such grand declarations of being able to go anywhere or do anything at all just because he and Josele are together sound ridiculous. But he still wants and wishes. 

When you want to vanish, or when you feel good, I wished that at any time, you could be there beside me, And that this promise that no one knows about Wouldn't be washed away by the pouring rain...

Hoping that I could go anywhere with you...

Again, Morgen declares his love for Josele. And he declares his wishes for their future together. No matter what she may be feeling. No matter where they may go in life. Morgen promises Josele his love for her. That they will love each other for their own sakes and that love will last.

I think this song is a good balance of depth of emotion and high spirits. It’s able to express the tender and playful sides of love at the same time which feels very appropriate for someone like Morgen. There is a confidence in what Morgen is expressing while still understanding that things might not work out perfectly. It’s a wonderful song for Morgen and Josele as their relationship reaches its climax.

Spot the Difference (music video) (Yonezu cover): This song is definitely one that hits the feels just a bit harder. The two versions of the song do a great job of reflecting the two main aspects of the song. Suda’s version of the song is gentler and romantic, which plays up the intimacy of what the lyrics say. Meanwhile, Yonezu’s cover with the more complex instrumentals shows the depth and intensity of the feelings shared. What’s conveyed through the song is vulnerable and yearning in nature. It’s the emotions in the instrumentation and the thoughts in the lyrics put together that make this song such a strong Morgsele song.

The "wrong" picture in a spot-the-difference, That's what I felt like I was born as But if I'd been the "right" picture in a spot-the-difference, Then I'm sure we wouldn't have met…

For those who didn’t read the small note at the end of the translation, Japanese “spot the difference” games have one picture be right and the other wrong. And it’s canon that Morgen is the black sheep of the Faust family for being upright and not compatible with their practices of using Forbidden Magic. So Morgen is the “wrong” one in the Faust family, something he is able to figure out. However, he is at peace with that fact. If he hadn’t been born the type of person he is, he and Josele might not have become friends and fallen in love.

Being able to smile at each other, appropriately, I wonder, why does it make tears come out?

Why does smiling bring out tears? The answer to Morgen’s question is that the tears are ones of joy. He’s overwhelmingly happy to have Josele in his life. That’s why he smiles and cries at the same time.

In minute crevices filled with mistakes, We tell worthless stories until we're exhausted Wanting to be right, but unable to be; I wonder what that loneliness rears?

Morgen knows that he is bound to make mistakes as a human. In that mistake riddled life, he takes the time to simply be himself. He sees seemingly worthless or flawed things as having their own beauty. Even if he wants to always be right and perfect, Morgen knows that can’t happen. As for the loneliness mentioned in the lyrics, I interpret it as being guilt or doubt from not being right. And Morgen does do something wrong in not reporting his family’s crimes right away (in canon, he laments if his death is karma for his choice).

Your eyes pierced me, straight through the chest From that day forth, I felt everything had changed completely About to be blown away by wind, in the corner of deep spring, Just casually, to the point that it's boring, be beside me…

I take the first line two ways. I could be literal, in that Morgen feels himself pierced by Josele’s gaze, or perhaps that his heart has skipped a beat. It could also be symbolic of Josele being able to see Morgen for who he truly is, accepting his weaknesses and imperfections. “That day” mentioned, in this case, is the night of Morgen and Josele’s engagement. It’s a step to solidifying a shared future for Josele. The change is also sudden, comparable to a gust of wind. And being married would mean that Josele and Morgen would be with each other everyday casually.

I touched your hand, our fingers overlapped, And "wrong" or "right" didn't matter anymore Dropping in the blink of an eye, within a light haze, I simply had the strongest feeling, that it could only be you…

Again, the interaction of the hands is literal and symbolic. Here, when Morgen reaches out for Josele, she reaches back. Mutually, they seek and rely on one another, intertwined in each other’s lives like their fingers when they hold hands. Morgen is also reassured that he doesn’t have to be “right” for his family or perfect for everyone else. Because he has Josele, the one he loves and who loves him back, regardless of anything else. For Morgen, it has to be her. All these feelings building up inside him results in Morgen crying, becoming misty-eyed and trying to blink away the tears, hence the third line.

Show me a face you won't show anyone else…

Like I explained with the previous song, no one but Morgen and Josele know everything about their relationship. What Morgen asks for here is a continuation of that. For Josele to have a side of herself that only Morgen would get to know.

I place this song happening after Morgen and Josele are engaged. Morgen is going to share his life with Josele and so is letting down every wall. He doesn’t lie but he was shown to be willing to withhold certain information. And I think he’d hold in his negative feelings. But now, he knows Josele wants to be with him to the end. So he pours his heart out to her. Like I said, the music and words together are filled with so much emotion. And I imagine these are the types of things Morgen would confess to Josele, knowing she will understand and be with him through it all.

Final thought regarding this song but the Suda version of “Spot the Difference” gives me two scenarios. Either Morgen could be playing and singing this song for Josele. Or, given the waltzy feel of the music, they could be dancing to it instead. Both are very beautiful, tender images that will be living in my head rent free forever.

Monster's March (song): Based on the title alone, “Monster’s March” wouldn’t seem to fit Morgen’s character. But then you listen to the music and read the translated lyrics and it makes sense. This song has a little bit of every other song that came before. There is a hope for the future, light-heartedness, concern, comfort, and vulnerability all in this one song. I see Morgen saying the things that are said in the song while out on a romantic evening stroll with Josele. He’s relaxed and wants to be straightforward about what’s on his mind.

Wanting to talk to you just a little better, I learned more words Will you be glad? I'll be happy if you are...

This is Morgen reflecting on his and Josele’s past. It’s not just about “learning words” but trying more and putting himself out there to be able to connect to Josele. Morgen never tried to be anything he wasn’t, but he did want to try to be more. Of course Josele would answer Morgen that she’s happy that he wanted to try so hard to be her friend.

In a place far away, I was born So that I could meet you Without distractions, I treaded on a single road…

The “far away place” is more like a far away position. Morgen belongs to the noble house of Faust while Josele is a commoner. Yes, the divide isn’t as great as nobles and peasants but they still weren’t born in the same social worlds. Ultimately, Morgen is saying it’s fortunate they were born the way they were and have shared the life they have thus far. And from that point onward, Morgen wants to continue forward without wasting thoughts on what could’ve been.

Don't be afraid, sing with me Keep on crossing, beyond the ocean In a strange voice, sing of love My heart is clear…

Morgen knows Josele is okay but he still wants to reassure her. He doesn’t want her to fear other people disapproving of her, or the impossible chance that he would stop loving her, or anything else that she worries about. He encourages Josele to focus on their love as they continue on. That last line explains itself, Morgen knows what he wants and so his heart isn’t jumbled up with confusing or heavy thoughts.

Forever and ever, without any end, May we be friends From our joy of believing each other, let's start once again...

Well, Morgen wants him and Josele to be more than friends. Then again, it’s common to say “marry your best friend” so I guess Morgen is following that advice. The point is that Morgen is proclaiming his desire to love Josele forever, in this life and the next. And through marriage, they kind of are starting over. He and Josele will begin a new life and, Morgen hopes, a new family.

The way I am, all covered in mud, I can't live this way, of course I knew that And so I'll sing, I'll sing of love It's good to be with you...

I read the mud as symbolic of guilt or secrets. For Morgen, it’s the Faust family’s secret devil work in specific. Even though he isn’t directly involved in that, it weighs on his consciousness. And he doesn’t want to live with burdens on his mind. In the meantime, as Morgen decides what he will do about his troubles, he loves Josele and makes it known.

To have been able to meet you now, oh, I really am so glad A star burning bright in my chest; though I'm lonely, it's radiant…

The lines from the bridge are so very sweet. It’s a simple confession from Morgen to Josele of how blessed he feels to know her. The star imagery also suits the both of them. Morgen is compared to light generally and Josele is associated with stars specifically. The star is meant to be Morgen’s heart, as it’s “in his chest.” In the moments when he finds himself physically alone, the love in his heart is strong enough to keep him from feeling lonely.

Now let's head out, leaving the desert Though there will surely be sad times as well, Let's look for where the rainbow comes from For the tomorrow I hope to meet with you, I'll hide my tears…

I'm not a fool who doesn't doubt, I just have a heart that believes I want to sleep beside you, And when I wake up, the next morning, To have had the same dream...

The two versions of the choruses together condense all the feelings spoken throughout the song. Morgen wants himself and Josele to head to the future with the desert representing the things they’ve already had to struggle through. He tells Josele that they’ll focus on the things that make them happy, hence the “where the rainbow comes from” line. This doesn’t mean that nothing will go wrong though. Morgen acknowledges that there will still be unpleasant days in the future, it’s just that his faith is stronger than his anxieties. Finally, there is the image created in the last few lines, of falling asleep with the one you love and then being able to wake up beside them. That “dream” isn’t simply for when Morgen is asleep but his constant dream of being able to share his life with Josele.

“Monster’s March” feels like an embodiment of Morgen’s feelings for Josele. It voices adoration while also revealing feelings of worry. However, it overall has a positive tone thanks to the expressions of assuring hope. Morgen is looking forward to the future, no matter what it holds, because he will be heading towards it with the love of his life, Josele. He believes in the two of them and this song delivers that message perfectly.

Spirit of the Sea (music video): The last song regarding Morgen’s feelings for Josele takes place after his death. His spirit is looking back on his life. These are the emotions that linger even beyond the grave.

In this wide open room, there's no one here Just a single chair, stained with the smell of sea breeze

I’m not taking the scene being set here as a literal thing. In the context of Morgen and Josele’s relationship, I see this as his ghost visiting Josele and seeing how she’s lost herself to grief. Josele has chosen to isolate herself from others. She has loved ones to turn to but she instead closes off her heart. The chair stained with the smell of the sea is Josele as she is overwhelmed with sadness and tears.

I'll leave it open so you won't get lost; Knocking on the creaky door What should I even say first? Maybe I'll have no idea...

Morgen knows he can’t actually reach out and speak to Josele as a ghost. The “knock” on the door is Morgen’s wish from beyond the grave that Josele will open herself to others again. The open door he leaves behind is the chance that others will be able to reach Josele and help her heal. Because he is sure someone will help her. Nacht and Yami are the most likely options but Morgen can’t know for sure. And I also think that Morgen would want to give Josele a message from beyond the grave, but even if he could, he might not know what to say.

Like a shower of stars, I want to meet you Never will I forget that night… The most important things, words can't describe Everything that happened in those summer days

Like watching a sky of shooting stars, it would be a beautiful and dream-like thing for Morgen to meet with Josele again. He would also be very glad that he gets to keep his memories with him in the next life. All those precious memories from throughout his life, of the things he shared with Josele.

Somewhere, you hear the sound of laughter The feel of a warm cheek After walking the twisty road, Your eyelids open...

These lines could be one of two things. One way it could be taken is that Morgen is remembering his time with Josele. It’s a memory where Josele would’ve been hearing his laugh and feeling his warmth against her. Josele would be remembering it too. It’s a moment where Morgen and Josele are in the same state of mind, wishing to go back to those times. Alternatively, it is Morgen knowing that someday—not soon but eventually—Josele will find people who will make her smile again. She’ll walk that twisted road of despair and then open her eyes to happiness again.

Even if we're separated, the time will come; We'll shout, "I'm happy now" The most important things, words can't describe Dissolving in the bounding light...

Death is an irreversible way to be separated. But Morgen believes that Josele will overcome the loss as her heart is strong. He trusts her to move on without forgetting him, and find happiness again. Their love isn’t gone, transcending life and death to keep them connected. It’s that thought that comforts Morgen as he waits from the afterlife.

On a sandy shore, with a cool breeze…  We'll meet again…

Again, I will insist that the Fausts lived by the coast so this imagery works thematically. A sunny beach with a good breeze is peaceful and nostalgic for Morgen. And when the time finally comes for Josele to join Morgen in the heavens, that reunion will be like standing on the beach again. Like a good memory, like living again.

“Spirit of the Sea” is Morgen’s goodbye to Josele. It breaks his heart that he has to leave her, but that is the nature of death. All he can do now is wish for her future happiness. It’s a beautiful, bittersweet sentiment to end on. But it suits the sweet love story of Morgen and Josele which ends with bitter tragedy.

..........

Nacsele (Nacht's feelings for Josele)

The reason Nacsele has so many more songs dedicated to it is because, well, a lot of Yonezu’s songs have melancholy themes. There are love songs but with tragic twists. And Nacht’s love for Josele is a long, tragic story.

Headless Cuckoo (song): The start of the Nacsele love story begins with “Headless Cuckoo.” On its own, the song is about how love is a difficult feeling that some might not even bother dealing with but that it might be worthwhile to put your heart out there because other people have their own hearts too. For Nacht, this song is about him realizing his feelings for Josele and the anxieties that come up as well. The song is upbeat but it also has elements of dissonance and cacophonous sound which suits Nacht’s chaotic feelings upon having his love epiphany.

Come, come, come, shall we dance? In a hurry, our legs tangle, Resulting in a noisy sound;

Everyone's hearts are heavy, Filled with things they'll never forget

Here, Nacht is his usual self, playing around and raising a little hell for the fun of it. He’s asking Josele to dance with him, to laugh and have fun as they always have been. Nacht wants to pretend that things aren’t changing, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. However, deep down, he cares and his heart is burdened with feelings that aren’t going away anytime soon.

Hey, hey, you, where's your head?

Hey, hey, you, where are your feelings? Show me you can cry, show me you can laugh!

Nacht is talking to himself in this section. Asking himself what he is thinking, falling in love with Josele. He’s wondering why he’s such a fool to fall for his friend who he thinks is too good for him. And he even questions his own feelings, if he really has them.

To want to be loved only makes you sad, So I don't even want to be looked at, But I'm much like you, looking for words, Wanting to kindle a fire and talk…

I was born in an undoubtedly strange form, And though I don't have the means to do it… That I'm much like you, that I have a heart; It'd be nice to know that for sure…

For Nacht, wanting Josele to love him back is a sad thing because he doesn’t believe he deserves that. Instead of a “strange form,” Nacht was born with ominous Shadow Magic, has a troublesome attitude, and is a bad influence. There’s a lot about him that people disapprove of. So he would rather avoid his feelings and not let those feelings be “seen.” Nacht still spends time with Josele as friends, wanting that warmth and connection with her, even if it isn’t romantic in nature. And though it is unknown to Nacht, Josele is in a similar situation of realizing and figuring out her feelings.

With uncertain songs amassing, My voice can't help but tremble,

Ahh, ahh, when I open my mouth, it all turns to ash, All turned to frozen ash, never to be words at all Ahh, ahh, some days my head just falls right off, My little head just falling off, as if it wants to embarrass me…

Things really are a mess for Nacht in his heart. He can’t even fathom the words he would need to confess and be taken seriously. Nacht is overwhelmed by frustration with himself, feeling like a fool in love and not knowing how to express it. And that messes with his head even more. But even if his feelings are chaotic, he still has the heart to care for Josele.

I can't be so certain if I'm being loved, So I'd like it to be something tangible, But any way you see it, that's quite a lie; It couldn't ever be just one thing…

Of course I know that there's dirty air Hanging in the space between Any way you see it, I have a heart;

In all of Nacht’s confused feelings, he would also ask if Josele even loves him back. She’s straightforward and affectionate but that’s just how she is so it’s unclear. And like the lyrics say, it’s more than that. There’s the fact that their friendship is on the line if Josele doesn’t reciprocate Nacht’s feelings. And Morgen harboring feelings for Josele are another thing Nacht worries about. Doubt, fear, confusion. It all comes together and makes things too complicated for Nacht. What results is a “dirty air,” a tension of uncertainty between Nacht and Josele. It doesn’t affect their friendship, for now, but Nacht feels it.

I see the song as Nacht venting about how he can’t really confess to Josele but that he still cares about her. He might be a delinquent and he may hide his emotions away, but that doesn’t make his feelings worth any less. Nacht might disagree but that doesn’t stop him from loving Josele as much as he allows himself. This is going to be the most optimistic song for a while because after this, the pain of Nacht’s unrequited love only gets stronger.

Cinderella Gray (guitar cover): First thing's first, I gotta point out how this song doesn’t apply to Grey! Grey is based on Cinderella! The title is “Cinderella Gray”! Kenshi Yonezu, how dare you not see into the future to know that Grey would be revealed to be based on Cinderella and write your song in line with that! This is a crime!/j

Moving onto how the song applies to Nacht and his feelings for Josele. Here, Nacht begins to feel a lot more negativity over his unrequited love for Josele. And even though his love for Josele is the source of his pain, Nacht doesn’t hold any resentment towards her. He can’t blame her for something she doesn’t know about. And so Nacht stews in his messy, painful love.

Hey, why is it that you make such a fool of me this way, Trying to give me kindness and consolation? Every time you do, miserable thoughts bubble up; Don't you get how worthless it makes me feel?

By this point, Nacht is definitely in love with Josele but has already decided that, no, he’s not going to confess. But even though he’s decided to never voice them, he can’t ignore his feelings for Josele. She shows his affection and care everyday, though as a friend. Nacht feels bad about wanting more from her. Although he hates how something as beautiful as love is making him feel awful, Nacht holds nothing against Josele. He can’t blame for something she’s not aware of after all. 

I can walk around a town filled with all these colors, But I'm uncolored, I'm gray, so where should I go? You can say I should live how I want to, But while I should know that, I just forget it, always, always, always…

Nacht is surrounded by amazing, admirable people. Morgen is the picture of a perfect man, kind and heroic. Josele is vibrant, caring, and determined in nearly all she does. Yami may act like a scoundrel but he is brave and defends the weak. And then there’s Nacht, still a delinquent doing nothing with his life. Even if Josele is okay with how he is, he wonders if Josele is ashamed of him at all, because she’s so good and he’s not.

The things I don't even want to remember will never fade away In my jumbled head, where I can't sort anything out, I remembered them again…

His love for Josele. That’s what Nacht would like to forget but the feelings won’t go away. And his mind is left a mess because he wants her but also wants to stay away. To not taint her with his darkness.

The pumpkin carriage, the glass slippers, they didn't fit me, Just happening to be there in uneventful days This world is so brilliant, it just dizzies me, As if making insinuations about colorless me...

Optimism like that seen in fairy tales was never for Nacht. He doesn’t see himself as fitting in anywhere. His brother, friend, and crush are Magic Knights. When Nacht stands beside them, compares himself to those he cares for, he feels like a lesser person. He thinks, hopes, that they don’t look down on him, that’s just his own feelings.

That's enough, I don't care at all about how it'll turn out About you, about me, about everything to come "My darling Prince, live for my sake," I wanted to say, But for not saying it that day, I hate, hate, hate me…

Nacht would pick up on the fact that Morgen likes Josele, and figure that Josele likes Morgen back. All without realizing that she likes him too because she shows the twins the same kind of affection. He just thinks that Josele wouldn’t be able to love someone as tainted as him. He wouldn’t blame Josele for preferring Morgen to him, since his brother is clearly the better one. As much as he wants to confess and be with Josele, he doesn’t say a thing and he hates himself for his hidden feelings.

I don't even want the freedom to feel like I can go anywhere The sole inconvenience that was you was keeping me free - That, I've now realized…

Nacht is cursing his contradictory thoughts. He’s in love with Josele but consciously chooses to not say anything about it. Even if his unrequited love inconveniences him (which is an understatement to say the least), Nacht doesn’t want his heart to be “free” of that love. He is happier loving Josele from afar than not having anyone to love.

"Love is forever," said somebody to somebody to somebody If that's really true, then how long will I have to suffer? Even after midnight's passed, some things will just never vanish; I'm begging you, begone, gone, gone, gone…!

Though I was scared, though it hurt, though nobody would believe me, You alone, your voice alone, had always smiled for me…

My aching heart won't heal, because I'm shamefully hoping I just wanted you alone, your voice alone, to be kind to me, that's all…

Nacht wouldn’t really mind the idea of loving Josele forever, even in his pained, distanced way. He’s fine with that. He fears getting any closer because of his bad influence. Josele is one of the few lights in Nacht’s life, his dear friend and now his first love, whose every aspect he adores. Even if his love is never truly fulfilled, he has her as a friend. It’s enough, or so he tells himself.

Overall, “Cinderella Gray” is about hopeless love. There’s no specific reason given in the song but the speaker being gray in a colorful world gives the general sense of not belonging or lacking something that others have. Nacht feels like he lacks the goodness that his loved ones do have to properly love Josele. Also, Nacht being “gray” works as shadows are between pure light (which would be white) and pure darkness (which would be black). That’s a super minor detail but I wanted to include it regardless.

Love and Fever (music video) (full version): The idea of Nacht struggling with wanting to love Josele and be loved by her is continued in this song. “Love and Fever” is less frantic in tone than the previous song. The thoughts in this song reflect Nacht’s resignation regarding Josele. It hasn’t quite reached the point of acceptance, but Nacht is getting there.

The things I liked became less and less, And the things I hated grew more and more I watched the clouds from the window, And I watched people's backs...

There was more and more I wanted to say, But more and more that I didn't As the sky got dirty, I watched it; Always trying to turn to night...

Nacht was never interested in much to begin with. He was so bored with life that he turned to Forbidden Magic to entertain him (though that has yet to happen as of this song). The things, or rather people, he likes are limited to his family—mostly Morgen—Yami, and Josele. Meanwhile, there’s plenty more he dislikes. Being on his own as his loved ones join the knights. Yami and Morgen being a dynamic duo, making him feel replaced by both. Any boring thing. His unspoken feelings for Josele. On the topic of those unspoken feelings, they build up and he wants to say something but can’t. All Nacht feels like he can do for now is watch the world go by, people passing him by and the cycle of day to night.

Since I can't go anywhere, what will you do with me?

Succumbing to dizziness, I dreamed, A daydream with everything crammed in; My desire to love, my desire to be loved, I stuffed it all in, until I was empty…

The first line is a question from Nacht directed at Josele. Although he might try to distance himself from her, he’s not going to completely leave her life. So Nacht wants to know what Josele thinks of him, how she’ll treat him, from here on out. As for Nacht, like a love struck teen, he’s going to daydream about what it would be like to date Josele if he confessed and she returned his affections. But Nacht has already made the choice not to share his feelings. So he keeps them deep inside himself, ironically leaving him feeling empty on a surface level.

I came to learn more and more, But forgot just as many things As the bus rattled, I looked outside; What are you capturing with your camera?

"Keep it a secret, okay?" "Promise me?" Even with those, I'll someday be alone

Nacht may be a genius when it comes to magic but he fails to notice, and thus forgets, how much his loved ones care for him. As he watches the world around him, he wonders how Josele views it. What is life like through her lens? They’re changing, leading Nacht to lament that all their promises and secrets will be meaningless if they grow further apart, which he feels that they are.

If you saw a pair so similar, what would you do?

The slightest lies caused an inflammation; I've long been afflicted by what feels like a fever My desire to love, my desire to be loved... I can't let them go, and ask forgiveness...

Yet another question Nacht would want to ask Josele. If Josele saw people in the same situation as her and Nacht, then her reaction would give Nacht an idea on what he could do. Meanwhile, Nacht’s love grows and it hurts the more he hides it. Nacht and Josele are so close and yet so impossibly far from the possibility of getting together in his mind. It makes him feel bad, like he’s doing something wrong by wanting Josele.

I didn't want anyone to hate me, So I was always, always hating Hating everyone, hating myself… Even you, even myself…

When you aren't there, in all sorts of ways, All sorts of things, I come to hate…

The way I see it, Nacht has always had self-loathing issues. He doesn’t want those he cared for to be hurt by him and end up hating him in response. The negative feelings he held towards himself are also projected outwards, making him hate the world. And perhaps, in a moment of weakness, Nacht might think he hates Josele for not noticing his feelings or for making him deal with a painful love. But ultimately, he is the person he hates most.

Afflicted with a fever, I dreamed, And my blind eyes saw falling sunlight My desire to love, my desire to be loved… I hope you forgive me for living with those wants…

Despite feeling like he doesn’t deserve to love Josele or be loved by her, Nacht still dreams that it could happen. He has “blind eyes” in the sense that Josele is openly affectionate with him but he fails to register it as the love he’s seeking, all because nothing is said directly. So Nacht thinks being with Josele is impossible. All that he can do now is apologize for wanting her.

Nacht is lovesick; so in love that it makes him act irrational but also sick of how love isn’t kind to him, though he blames that on himself. “Love and Fever” conveys a bitterness aimed towards the self and to the world. It’s a love song that is made tragic by a struggle to communicate or a lack of communication altogether, fitting for Nacht.

Mirage Song (guitar cover): Here in “Mirage Song,” we see Nacht beginning to accept that he cannot be with Josele. The main reason being that Josele is now dating Morgen. Now, Nacht has a concrete reason why he can’t confess as it would complicate things between the three of them. So he quietly accepts it. The frustration Nacht felt in previous songs is gone. It never did Nacht any good in the first place so why would he hold onto it. Instead, what he feels towards Josele is loss and sorrow but also tenderness.

I always thought about how I wanted to stroke your hair, Because your voice would someday go away Every time the world of tomorrow comes a little closer, I feel the "today" left behind and sneeze

The sun shining, we walked along a wet road mirage, Covered by an almost strange silence We learned there's no going back to days past, And that the memories of that day are too far to touch

These lyrics are Nacht reflecting that the relationship he and Josele have is changing in an irreversible way. Because they’re childhood friends, they’re used to physical affection. But with Josele now officially dating Morgen, any physicality between her and Nacht might be deemed inappropriate. And, if all goes well for the new couple, there will be no going back. I also think that, as strange as it seems, the line about sneezing works as a good metaphor for the feeling of how fast things change. For Nacht, it’s as though he looked away for only a second and suddenly, everything is different. The change is recent but already, the past and present Nacht has with Josele already feels like it’s fading for him.

Now, I live, and the more I live, The things I can't touch increase I've never gotten a single thing, But I feel like I'm losing something... Why is that?

The way I understand it, “touch” is more than just physical contact. For how it relates to Nacht and Josele, it’s also about Nacht being able to reach out to and hold onto Josele in an emotional sense. Nacht feels like there’s less connection between him and Josele as time goes on. It’s not a conscious choice by either, simply the result of them making different life choices. Of course, Nacht wonders why he’s lost when he never tried to have Josele in the first place.

"I wonder if we can keep living the same way in the world of tomorrow?", Spoke yesterday's self in the mirage

These lines are Nacht looking back on past thoughts. He used to think, even hoped, that things between him and Josele would stay the same. But looking back on those thoughts he would see himself as a fool for having them.

Have I mourned anything? In a place which such bright sunlight as this… Have I doubted anything? Even though you're always beside me…

Have I feared anything? Even when I can't take or give… Have I sought anything? Even though you're always beside me…

These lines together show Nacht is asking himself why he feels so discontent. If he were to just look at the facts, things seem fine. He has a good life, living as he pleases. He has Josele as a friend, never expecting more. And yet he has anxieties about Josele choosing Morgen over him. Nacht asks himself but can’t find an answer.

Now, I come close, and the closer I get, The "you"s I don't know increase I don't need a thing, but despite that, I feel like I'm not satisfied... Why is that?

Although they can get closer as friends, Nacht knows there are things about Josele that he doesn’t know. Because he’s not Morgen, not her romantic partner. The side of her that’s in love, that’s not for Nacht to know. He tells himself over and over that he doesn’t need Josele to love him so long as she’s in his life but deep down he knows that isn’t true and is disappointed in that. And again, he asks himself why he’s dissatisfied when he chose to never confess.

As much as I confirm it, As much as I call for you, You're always right there, Smiling for me, yet...

Where we live in now is the present And that it's filled with despair...

And that it's filled with disappointment... I don't want to say that at all That's all it is, it's true...

The bridge has this moment of denial which is why I think it’s repeated, as a way of showing a struggle with what reality is. Even though at the moment, Josele is with Nacht, the way they are in the present isn’t going to last. That is the “despair” and “disappointment” the lyrics refer to. The fleeting time they have together. Nacht knows that to be the truth and is refusing it, if only for a short time.

Now, I live, and the more I live, The "now"s I adore increase While I've never gotten a single thing, There's something I can't lose A mirage song…

The final lines of the song are Nacht’s acceptance. Despite the fact that Josele dating Morgen would keep her and Nacht in close proximity, Nacht feels like he’s losing her because of the changed relationship dynamics. So while he can still be as close to Josele as he likes, Nacht will treasure all the time that he has with her. Nacht appreciates every moment he gets to have. And those memories, a mirage of the past, will stay with Nacht.

The overall theme of “Mirage Song” is the anxiety of losing someone precious. A feeling of missing someone who is there but may go away someday. However, there are still things that last after loss, namely the memories that were made with that person. It is sadness lifted up by a final, hopeful thought. Nacht laments these thoughts, not just as a possibility but an inevitability. Until that happens though, he wants to create as many memories with Josele to hold onto.

Vivi (music video): Taking place after Morgen and Josele’s engagement, the thoughts expressed by “vivi” reflect Nacht wanting to fully let go of Josele despite still loving her. Because, to Nacht, that’s all he can really do at this point. This is a love song, but one defined by heartbreak which is present not only in the lyrics but the dissonant instrumentals.

Words I swallow sadly, they always trail behind me Words I spout while irritated, there's surely no taking back

When I make words, they smell like lies; When given form, all becomes unclear I can't make a single thing the way I want it; I'm simply spineless…

Like earlier songs, the lyrics here voice the pain that comes as a result of the inability to communicate properly with someone beloved. There are the words left unspoken and words that can’t be taken back which haunt Nacht. The denial of his feelings. The insistence that they’re only friends. Every denial of his true feelings and insistence that they remain friends hurt Nacht. It makes him feel more worthless as time goes on.

I love you, Vivi - once tomorrow comes, I'm going to have to say bye-bye This sleepy town, near turned to ashes, I leave behind, and you with it…

Nacht wants to avoid further pain by pulling away from Josele, even if he loves her, because he fears hurting her. In this interpretation, that “sleepy town” is their friendship. Something so happy and peaceful that it could’ve lulled Nacht to sleep. But now, Nacht thinks it’s time to put an end to it. Nacht can’t bring himself to completely separate from Josele though but he will try to increase the distance. For both their sakes.

To write the letter I'd give to you, I thought back on a lot of things And yet, as beautiful as you are, I couldn't write a single word

But why is it that way when it comes to words? Why do they turn to lead-like lies? Why do they turn to aimless birds? Why must they be dirtied?

I’ve mentioned it once before but Nacht does try writing love confessions but he never delivers them. The only reason Josele will get them in the future is thanks to the Bremen devils.  There is so much Nacht wants to say but when he tries to write them, or speak them directly, he finds something wrong with his words. Maybe they sound insincere or shallow. Or maybe it’s the fact that his words are a confession is what’s wrong.

Our selves of today will pass away But just forget I said anything of the sort; There's not one thing I want to say…

Nacht is trying to forget the closeness he had with Josele in the past. And this is him encouraging her to do the same. To distance herself from him. Whatever affection they shared, whatever Nacht showed, Josele should forget about it. Because now, Nacht doesn’t want his love to be known at all. There’s nothing to be said or done about it, except forget it.

Even with my heart beyond help... I walked together with you…

These lyrics are Nacht looking back on their friendship. Even if he saw himself as a tainted soul, he has made Josele a large part of his life. She was beside him even when he wasn’t the best person to be around. He’ll miss that closeness, but did he deserve it in the first place?

I spit out words, I felt your touch, And yet, I could say nothing

But all our love is, is a goodbye…

These final lines fully solidify the message that, now matter how close they are, Nacht fears that an open and honest communication between himself and Josele is impossible. All their shared words. All those intimate touches. It’s for naught. Nacht’s love for Josele never reached her. And he never saw her love for him so it never existed as far as he knows. All that his love has ever been is losing Josele over and over.

Even after Nacht accepted that he couldn’t be with Josele, the heartbreak only fully sets in with “vivi.” This song is him reflecting on his own inability to communicate his feelings to Josele and now, with her and Morgen getting married, he’s trying to erase his feelings. But he can’t let go. He says as much of a goodbye as he can even as his love lingers.

Metronome (music video): The thoughts and feelings expressed in “Metronome” take place soon after Morgen’s death. Nacht has run away to wander alone for a time, coming to terms with what has happened. Through the song, he’s simultaneously looking back on his and Josele’s friendship and considering the future of it.

If it was fated that we would meet from the start, then I wonder why? And I wonder if it was just as fated that a day like this would come?

Always, thoughts that would never come true came to mind, And we hurt each other, and tortured each other... Unable to even make the excuse of "just thinking of you," I didn't even grab your sleeve as you left; I was weak…

For the longest time, Nacht has had two thoughts about the way his relationship with Josele could turn out. One way was the dream of being with her romantically, the “thoughts that would never come true.” The other way was his fear of hurting Josele and that nightmare has become a reality with that awful accusation after Morgen's death. The way Josele “tortured” Nacht was unknowingly breaking his heart by never noticing his affection. Ultimately, Nacht sees himself as useless and pathetic, first never finding the courage to confess and then blaming Morgen’s death on Josele. And now, he can’t bring himself to reach out to her again and try to reconcile already.

Whatever day today is, whatever I try to do, I suppose I'll end up searching for you... My mind still gets thoughts I want to tell you, Not a single one dwindling -

Even as Nacht is keeping his distance from Josele, he’s thinking of her. It’s why he left in the first place, for her sake. While he’s away, he’s trying to figure out what he needs to tell her when he eventually returns. He wants to apologize. To tell the truth to Josele. To make things right.

We must be like two metronomes side by side; Even though the tempo we ran at was the same, At some point, a little bit at a time, we grew out of sync, The more time passed, the further apart we became, And we couldn't stop it...

As kids, Nacht and Josele were incredibly close, going on adventures and going along with each other’s antics. They had their differences but they were less severe. But time passed. The two of them changed and went their separate ways until the present, where Morgen’s death has created a seemingly unmendable rift between them. Now, there's no way they could be the friends they were as kids.

I wonder where we'll be going from now on? Will we be able to forget it all, and live? However happy you are now, I don't want you to forget... In me, there'll always be...

Passing each other by, walking back to back, Gradually going out of sight If we keep living at the same tempo still, Then someday, on the other side of the earth, Might we meet again...?

What will they do with their lives after the tragedy they shared? Where will they go? For now, they are without each other. But Nacht hopes to reunite once he’s figured himself out. He and Josele changed before so they might be able to change again. Though that doesn’t mean they’ll be the same as they were before. At the same time, Nacht resigns himself to never being with Josele the way he truly wants to be. He just wants Josele to be able to be happy again and, even if he was a terrible friend, he hopes she'll remember him as a friend at all. Because he knows she will always be a part of his heart.

Whatever day today is, whatever I try to do, I suppose I'll end up loving you...

I want to you to be there...

Nacht’s love is stubborn. That is the constant that makes him want to do so much, from keeping away from Josele in the immediate aftermath of Morgen’s death to seeing her and apologizing. However, he thinks that Josele shouldn’t and won’t accept those feelings. But long as Nacht can return to Josele, that will be enough for him.

This song expresses feelings of being stuck between a regretted past and a wanted future. That’s where Nacht is, with his past mistakes and an uncertain future on his mind. And while Nacht has lost the two of the most important people in his life, the world as a whole is moving on, everyday life continues. There is hope however. Like how metronomes always manage to sync up with time, Nacht wants the rift between him and Josele to be mended. Too bad he doesn’t know what is waiting for him when he finally does return to Josele.

Paper Flower (song): Yet another melancholy song to add to Nacht’s playlist. This song takes place after Nacht reunites with Josele and sees the state she is in, cursed to be without emotions and having a contract with a devil. It’s yet another tragedy that Nacht blames on himself. “Paper Flower” embodies Nacht’s sorrow, having to see Josele the way she is.

The words won't come out, no matter what I do, At the end, all that remains is a dawdling love...

The first lines of the song summarize how Nacht feels about his own love for Josele. Something that he could never speak of or confess to her, no matter how close they were or how much he might’ve wanted to tell her. His love “dawdles” not only in the sense that it lingers despite having his heart broken but also in the fact that his love feels like a waste.

Climbing on the overpass railing, Sitting and gazing at the moon Inside of a wide cavern, Here alone the world is ending

These lyrics create the image of a quiet and lonely night. I imagine Nacht and Josele together at a balcony or railing, unable to find anything to say to each other. They are together and yet their hearts are far apart. In a way, Nacht’s own world is ending.

Leaving the bedroom, and there's another bedroom, And I saw the back of my own self leaving the room...

Dirtied by the clean air, A garden outside the window with swaying swings…

The lines about the bedroom and seeing one’s own back create the feeling of repetition that comes after a tragedy. And without Josele’s heart and lively spark, her days and what she shares with Nacht now are nothing but dull monotony. The backwards line of “dirtied by clean air” works for Nacht, as Josele’s once pure presence made Nacht feel dirty and is a haunting reminder in the present. The presence of the swings symbolizes loneliness, felt by Nacht even when so close to Josele. And he’s sure that deep down, she is lonely too.

A uproarous comedy in the distance, And the tragedy hidden beneath Humanity all done up with fixatives,

Everything becomes so slow While sleeping amidst all the noise, Here alone the world is ending

Nacht’s life does feel like a comedy, falling in love with a woman who loves his brother instead of him. The laughableness of it overshadows how much it truly broke Nacht’s heart. The line about fixatives—the finishing that keeps paint from smearing for example—reflects Nacht’s belief that he and Josele are forever trapped in a state of being unable to understand each other. And again, the slow, tired feeling of repeating each day after loss appears.

It's not like there's anything I'm trying to say The two of us are more worthless than we imagine May these faded days turn to foam, hallelujah

At this point, Nacht isn’t even trying to confess his love to Josele. That’s not going to do any good. He only wants to be there for her, take care of her in her time of need. At the moment, they’re both in a pathetic state of being; Nacht desperately clinging to the ghost of who Josele used to be and Josele being a shell of a person. Nacht is praying that someday, hopefully, Josele’s curse will break and these sorrowful days will be forgotten.

Memories are vanishing before our eyes In that moment, why were you crying? Walking at the speed flowers fall, A merry-go-round that never stops…

The memories vanishing is quite literal for Josele as her curse also affects her memories while Nacht feels the past grow distant and illusory. And it is curious why Josele, when she’s unable to recognize her emotions, is crying. Nacht would ask but she would be unable to answer. The falling, and likely dying, flower not only shows how life has slowed down but also evokes the image of something beautiful but melancholy. And the merry-go-round is yet another reminder of the monotonous sorrow.

A tower piled high is crumbling; In the end, they were only educational toys Even now, I'm a gloomy designer, Making a bouquet to give to you…

The tower crumbling symbolizes Nacht and Josele’s relationship falling apart. Regarding the tower as a “toy”  The last line is a reference to the title of “Paper Flower.” Given the tone of the song, the image of a bouquet of paper flowers evokes thoughts of something lovely but ultimately a fake, inferior product. And that is what Nacht thinks of himself, and his love, in comparison to Morgen. Nacht is the “gloomy designer” giving Josele an inferior love.

The whole song is melancholy, reflecting a broken beauty. A ruined relationship, seemingly unending sorrow, a useless kind of love. The repeated line of “I looked at you, sleeping in prayer” that appears throughout the song, I imagine as Nacht watching Josele going through life in her cursed state. She’s there but not really. Josele goes about the days listlessly, as if in a trance. It’s something quiet and sorrowful in nature. And the slightly discordant tune adds to the song’s pain, to Nacht’s pain.

Santa Maria (music video): What the title means is Saint Mary, the Mother of Jesus, but even in the song’s own context, I don’t think the song’s speaker is praying to Saint Mary. Rather “Santa Maria” is representative of someone kind to the speaker, a person of refuge. Nacht’s “Santa Maria” is, of course, Josele. Through everything, she is a fragment of the happy life he once had that he holds onto. Through the song’s lyrics, Nacht voices his desire to fight through the hurt in the present to secure a brighter future for Josele.

While our palms are two together, We were separated by a pane of glass This is a visiting room for you and I, And we can never hope to be one, But still we talk…

Both of us feeling like we've been cursed, How many lies will we tell as we walk? Gracefully, with a heavy silence and kindness, My open eyes met with yours, And you laughed slightly…

Nacht and Josele have been reunited but even when they are right in front of each other, there is a distance between them. Josele locked her heart and Nacht is afraid to hurt her further. On being cursed, metaphorically, it’s loneliness and distrust. It’s also literal with Josele’s Locked Heart spell while Nacht has the sin of using Forbidden Magic and Morgen’s death weighing him down. Despite the wall they’ve put around their hearts, they’re all each other have now. And though she is without a heart, Josele’s kindness persists; the laugh isn’t literal but symbolic of Josele’s gentleness, the thing that gives Nacht hope.

Oh, Santa Maria, I won't say a thing; Only if you're satisfied with hesitating words… Oh, let all kinds of happiness be broken; Because weary from prayer, I'll finally meet you…

Let us go together, toward the light… Let us hold hands, with no reason left…

Nacht won’t say anything because what can he say? He can’t confess his love and apologies don’t feel like enough. He’s said enough. The thought of letting “happiness be broken” is Nacht giving up on living free of guilt. It is Nacht’s wish to guide Josele back towards the light, to being her old self. Through it, Nacht might wonder if the reason he’s doing this is because of his love for Josele, or for the sake of everyone else who cares for her, or because it’s the only thing giving his life purpose.

Some day this azure cactus will bloom, And the glass pane will crumble with it Shouldn't we believe? No matter the tomorrow, Let's hope for the day our hands touch, Hope for our curse to be lifted…

If you hadn't been there as of late, I wonder if my sadness and fear would have gone away? I searched the streets on a dark afternoon, For a little knife that could lift our curse, For a song without impurity…

The possibility of the blooming cactus and the shattering of the glass together are symbols of Nacht’s hope of a better future. One where Josele can smile and thrive again. Nacht wants Josele to hope too. Nacht’s troubled heart isn’t going away anytime soon as of when the song happens in the timeline, but Josele’s presence gives him the strength to try so hard for her sake. And the prayer from the chorus and the searching mentioned in this verse are Nacht’s efforts to break Josele’s curse and free her from her devil.

Through whatever days, pasts, futures, or mistakes… Oh, a golden sunrise shines waveringly in your eyes; And like raindrops, the tears fall…

Whenever I see you with those eyes, I'm caught in a mire of sadness…

Through their long history, Nacht wanted to be beside Josele. He wants to continue staying as close as he dares for the foreseeable future, despite the mistakes he’s made that hurt her. As Nacht observes Josele in the present, he can see some of her old self, something shining deep within her. But when he sees that alongside her being an empty shell, it pains him further.

This is a visiting room, and the cactus Is yet to bloom, the pane yet to shatter, But amid this, a single candle Continues to burn bright…

I look at you, And you look at me, So that we won't give up on believing…

Santa Maria, as we bear the darkness, Let us go together, toward the light…

Nacht is reflecting over the fact that he can’t find a way to help Josele. Every source or lead he finds becomes a dead end. He can’t even convince Josele to break the deal with Almatra or remove her own curse. Still, a single candle of hope is burning, for both Nacht and Josele. They turn to and hold onto each other for comfort, hope, anything. The song’s final lines reflect Nacht and Josele’s current state. That even with guilt and curses and devils, they continue to live, moving towards a brighter future.

“Santa Maria” reflects Nacht’s desire to save Josele. Through the pain and suffering, Nacht wants to be there for Josele. She simultaneously causes Nacht grief and gives him strength to move forward. And he is pulling her forward. When I listen to this song, I sometimes imagine Nacht and Josele walking hand-in-hand, with Josele becoming slower and collapsing near the end, but Nacht would pull her up again so they can continue towards a distant light. The song has a sad, heavy feel but is brightened by faint hope in the lyrics, perfectly suited to Nacht and Josele’s relationship.

Sunflower (song): Beneath the strong rock vibes of the song, “Sunflower” is a song about loss and longing. But I also see the song as being about finding the willpower to push forward. This song is Nacht departing for Spade, having to leave Josele but determined to save her.

Filled with sadness, kicking the ground strongly, Leaping up and raising a finger to the light Wanting to love, snarling deep from the windpipe; That sight was just too beautiful...

Clicking your tongue, in the wasteland, resisting the wind Singing all night, with a hoarse newborn's cry To the ends of the frozen planet seen far in the distance, Let your bruise-filled heart sparkle

The kicking of the ground and the clicking of the tongue are signifiers of frustration, something Nacht is feeling in tandem with sadness over Josele’s situation. But despite those emotions, Nacht is rising up, reaching out for even a possibility of a brighter future. There’s his desire to express his care for Josele, held back and painful as indicated by the snarl in the windpipe and hoarse cry, which is a thing of beauty even if Nacht denies it. And the bruised-heart is both Nacht and Josele’s, as they have broken and burdened hearts which should be allowed to shine, to experience happiness.

I was always chasing after that sight of you Tumbling along in a straight line, the stabbing point of a sword The sunflower grown in the shade is still waiting for summer

It really is the case that Nacht has been pursuing Josele in a sense. In the past, he wanted every opportunity to spend time with her and keep her in his life; and in the present, he is seeking to restore her old self. Though he fumbles along the way, Nacht knows his ultimate goal and moves straight towards it. The sunflower is Josele, both are in a place they shouldn’t be in. A sunflower stuck in the shade cannot turn to the sun and Josele with her curse and devil isn’t truly herself.

Getting wounded, electricity suddenly coursing through your veins Scratching off, raging like a storm, an echoing elegy It hasn't died out even a little since the time I listened to it; So don't tremble, not everything'll disappear...

This verse gives a visualization of how painful the struggle is with injuries, pain like lightning, and the dangerous image of a storm. Since he vowed to help Josele, his desire hasn’t wavered at all. The line saying not to tremble could be to himself, reassuring himself that he won’t lose Josele too. Or he could be addressing Josele, telling her that she won’t lose herself. Either way, someone needs to be comforted.

I was always reflected in that sight of you If we'd been born in the same town, could I have been like you? The sunflower grown in the shade is still looking at the sea

This chorus involves reflection and comparison, something that comes up a few times with Nacht’s character in canon. Here, Nacht compares himself to Josele and asks if he could ever be as kind and honest as she was. Josele, still the sunflower, looking out at sea is her also longing for something far out of reach.

Tear through the stuffiness and smile, deep within me, one more time

If you can hear this, shout it fiercely, my name, one more time

These lines from the choruses are what I see as Nacht reaching out to Josele. He encourages her to allow herself to be happy once more. And despite his past sins, he wants her to reach back and rely on him, even if it’s only long enough for him to help her.

Scatter off, burst through the shotguns, to tomorrow Spit it out, take the rudder to the North Star in your hands

A roar, out on a lit-up street, a last-resort game Let loose, diffuse and go out far, reverberate...

These lines are the most powerful in the song. An expression of strength and resolve to break free from despair. The words are a bit volatile, being “scatter” and “roar” and “let loose.” But they are also active, reflecting the need to take responsibility and act with self-determination. These words are Nacht’s words not only to Josele but to himself. They both need to continue living. The North Star—the fixed, guiding point—for Nacht and Josele, their North Star is the possibility of happiness. I know it’s a rather vague concept to fixate on, but that is the end goal Nacht has in mind and what Josele should have too.

“Sunflower” is a song that mixes the aftermath of loss, the building of strength, and voicing hope into one piece of music. It’s complex and layered, much like Nacht’s feelings. There’s still a long way to go for Nacht as he has been unable to fully express his love for Josele with total honesty or confidence. What’s expressed in this song is one of many steps still to go.

Pale Blue (music video): The title of this next song is meant to invoke melancholy with blue but also a hope, as a color in paler hue is considered bright. Plus, Nacht’s eyes are a pale shade of blue; I like little connections like that. As for the song’s timing, it jumps ahead several years to when Nacht finally returns from Spade but before Josele’s curse is broken. The feelings in the song display Nacht’s contradictory push towards and pull away from Josele, his belief that the only way for him to truly love Josele and for her to be happy is for him to let her go.

Always, Always, Always… I loved you so…

Note that all mentions of “love” in the song are “koi” in the original Japanese. Nacht isn’t even trying to hide behind platonic feelings. This is Nacht’s declaration of how much he loved Josele back when she was uncursed, even while she was with Morgen. However, it is a love spoken of in the past tense. Nacht feels like it’s time for his long-lived affection to come to an end.

This is goodbye - You were more important to me than anything It wasn't entirely the end I was hoping for; What about for you?

The love starts with a farewell, with heartbreak, here. Josele was the love of Nacht’s life. But now, he has to bid her farewell, either literally as he left for his mission or emotionally because he thinks it’s better to love her from afar. Josele suffering the way she does with Forbidden Magic and the two of them having drifted apart is not the ending Nacht wants for her. And Nacht asks if Josele is okay with the way things are in the present.

We can't even go back to being friends, So I watched the sky At least at the end, let it be springlike once more, So we can have such a pretty farewell

It's an edelweiss, wilted from never being watered, Earrings starting to blacken This lackluster movie's now reached the end, And yet during the credits, I started to feel sad Tell me, what is this feeling?

Either they can’t or Nacht thinks they shouldn’t be friends again, to spare Josele from being hurt by him again. In the Japanese language of flowers, edelweiss symbolizes courage or power and one source also mentioned that they are associated with precious memories. I see the edelweiss as Josele, withering away (which works thematically given her devil’s attribute is Blight). The edelweiss and blackening (which is to be understood as rusting) earring together also symbolize the crumbling relationship between Nacht and Josele. And despite Nacht feeling like distancing himself is necessary, he is saddened by it and at least wants to end on good terms, hence the “pretty farewell.”

I want to be in the future you saw, too I want to look at you so close our noses touch I want to scream from this splitting pain, and yet - I fell in love with you, Alongside a bouquet

Contradictions abound in Nacht’s feelings for Josele. He wants to share his life with her, to hold her close. Touching noses is just a step behind Josele’s touching foreheads as the strongest sign of affection. But at the same time, he has the urge to scream in frustration over what he feels can’t be. The bouquet mentioned in the lyrics is a stand in for beautiful, happy times. Because of course Nacht fell in love with Josele’s smile and kindness, and all during joyous moments.

The morning of a clear day, You were important in every possible way We exchanged words we had been unable to say, With laughable calmness

It's haute couture with the measurements terribly off, Button holes becoming frayed I just want to close this mismatched play, And yet I couldn't say my lines in the epilogue Hey, I gazed at you…

I think I’ve talked about it enough already but Josele is significant to Nacht’s life. As a friend, first love, and would-be family if she had gotten to marry Morgen. The words he and Josele couldn't exchange are definitely going to be memories of the past, happy times now marked with sadness or detachment. They can talk about them so calmly because of how far away those times were and because Josele genuinely is unable to feel for the past. The mention of haute couture is representative of a relationship as it is a type of fashion that is exclusive, custom-fitted, and made by hand. Just like the fashion, Nacht and Josele’s relationship is something the two of them developed together, only it is now fraying and falling apart. And despite thinking he should, Nacht can’t bring himself to cut Josele from his life, or cut himself from her life.

If there's no point no matter how many times we're reborn, I want to encounter you as if being led somewhere There's not a single thing I want to say after this long, and yet - I fell in love with you, Alongside the pain

The line about reincarnation could be taken literally given the setting but I think it’s better to think of it as expressing the idea that no matter how much the world or the two of them change, the speaker will always love the listener. Nacht wants to love Josele no matter the circumstances. Then, in contrast with the bouquet from earlier, falling in love “alongside the pain” is Nacht loving Josele in their lowest moments. While he believes himself evil and tainted. While Josele is cursed. Because that’s what love is, something grown from happiness and sorrow.

In your arms, in your chest, There's a powerfully pulling gravity I want to be in it mundanely, a pale blue melody

Don't go, stay here, by my side, Not even saying a thing Embrace me until we can never forget

The intimacy of the words here reflect Nacht’s desire to be close to Josele once again. He wants to be embraced and loved by her. He’s drawn to her, regardless of him thinking that he doesn’t deserve to be around her. And so he begs, maybe only in his heart or maybe out loud, for Josele to remain by his side. What Nacht doesn’t want them to forget could be a lot of things: how it feels to embrace one another, how much they care, or maybe he doesn’t want to forget everything between them.

I love you still...

The final line is so powerful in its simplicity. It shows that Nacht really can’t let go of Josele. Even now, when she’s emotionless and Nacht hates that she chose that for herself, he cares for her. He loved her before, continues to in the present, and always will. They’ve spent so much time together, seen the best and worst in each other. There will be no changing that for Nacht and he finally accepts that.

I love the way “Pale Blue” is able to express a broken heart that still harbors an undying adoration. It’s incredibly fitting for the relationship Nacht has with Josele. He’s never stopped loving her despite seeing himself as unworthy of her love, watching her love Morgen instead, and then seeing her become a shell of herself. Nacht says he loved Josele, trying to keep his distance, but ultimately admits that he never stopped. With Nacht’s feelings coming out, things start to improve between him and Josele. And it only gets better from here.

Horse and Deer (music video): First off, I would like to address the title of the song. The kanji for “horse” and “deer” are used in the word “fool” or “idiot” which could imply that the song has to do with something foolish. However, on their own, horses and deers have more positive meanings. Horses are considered noble in Japanese culture while deers represent happiness and harmony in Buddhism. With the animal’s kanji separated, the title actually indicates that the topic of the song is noble and harmonious in nature. Another thing about the song’s title is how it works in relation to Nacht and Josele. Nacht is obviously the horse with Slotos and his Equus form. Meanwhile, I associate Josele with deers as they are creatures associated with grace but can also be quite powerful (the moose is the largest type of deer and they are frighteningly strong) which suits Josele being a tough swordswoman with a gentle heart. And that’s just the title.

With that said, I’m happy to say that with “Horse and Deer,” we finally have a song at a point in Nacht and Josele’s story when their relationship is really mending. This song would take place after Josele is freed from her devil and curse. Josele is finally able to express her love for Nacht and he’s facing his own love for her. However, there are lingering doubts that hold Nacht back from pursuing a romantic relationship.

In a warped and wound-covered spring, I walked, without so much as anesthesia Echoing in the depths of my body, A strong sense I'm not living enough...

Spring is considered the season of life and rebirth and for Nacht, his own world has been reborn with Josele back to normal. But the spring isn’t pure and innocent, instead marked by emotional scars of the past. Despite the pain though, Nacht lets his self-loathing and guilt fester, refusing to allow himself to heal. He’s stuck in the past and thus unable to fully live in the present.

I still taste it, the flavor of chewed-away gum, With a heart that still hasn't fully cooled After losing it all one thing at a time, What finally remains in the end...

Represented by the gum’s lingering flavor but also stated outright, Nacht’s feelings from the past haven’t truly gone away. They have, in a sense, been lying dormant and are ready to be reignited. There is a lot of loss in Nacht’s life: Morgen’s death, the rift in his friendship with Yami, Josele’s curse, and years of self-loathing as he tried to make up for hurting them. Nacht lives with many regrets in life but his heart still cares for those in his life, Josele most of all.

If this thing isn't love, then what would you call it? I didn't have any idea... Call out the name of a flower, just a single one, To the point of bursting open...

I think Nacht would question his love for Josele. He would ask himself if what he feels for Josele is instead a sense of obligation to her to make up for causing Morgen’s death or if his devotion has become a desperate obsession. In the end, he will figure out that, yes, his feelings are genuine love. The way I see it, the “flower” could be a number of things. It could be Nacht telling himself to openly proclaim his feelings of love. Or it’s him calling out to Josele. I even see it as Nacht asking Josele to call out to him. Either way, someone is calling out with repetition because of how strong the feelings in their heart are.

What do you say with those weary eyes? I walked, hiding my scars And yet I scattered my shadow around, Hoping to be noticed...

The first line is Nacht addressing Josele, trying to get a read on what she’s thinking. I think the reason why the eyes are described as tired is because of being world-weary or from previously crying, either working for Josele who has been through so much. The next few lines express Nacht’s loneliness, his self-inflicted isolation from Josele and anyone else. He takes on guilt and keeps his pain to himself because he sees himself as undeserving of love. But still, he tries to be present in Josele’s life, wanting to express his love. Also, scattering the shadow just works with Nacht and his magic.

Can you still walk? I chew down and taste sand, On grass damp with evening dew Questioning words within an impatient chest Surely it's still too soon for this to end…

After so much struggle, Nacht asks if he and Josele can still continue towards the future. The taste of sand is frustration when they’ve stumbled along the way. But the mention of dew implies that the pain can be washed away, not entirely but at least in part. Nacht has his doubts about whether he deserves Josele but then he thinks to himself that maybe it’s time to not give in to hopeless thoughts and actually try.

Smiling so that no one would be made sad - I was never able to do that well… If I were just able to protect one thing, one single thing, That would have been enough…

My all too worthless wish, it won't vanish My soul is one no one can steal…

I interpret the smile as showing kindness, which Nacht has never been good at. But he still has a heart and he wants only safety and happiness for Josele after so many years of suffering. If he could make up for the way he hurt her, that’d be enough. His desire might mean nothing coming from a tainted man like himself, but he wants to do things right by the woman he loves. No one is going to stop him, not even himself now.

To what should I compare you and me? How to describe the similar wounds on our heels? After the gap in the rain closes, it continues on; Let's go, before the flowers even bloom…

Though still fearful, call out the name of a flower; Say "it can only be you"…

Nacht is trying to find some way to describe his relationship with Josele, how they’ve both been emotionally scarred by the same event. The only word that would come to mind is “tragedy.” The mention of rain and flowers about to bloom brings back the image of spring from the beginning, so I read the lines as Nacht reaching out to Josele so they can head into spring, the reborn world, together. Though Nacht is afraid to love Josele, he calls out to her or asks her to call out to him. And for him, he can only love Josele.

The tips of our noses touch, my breath stops And I'm fine with the pain never going away

My all too worthless wish, it won't vanish… I won't stop...

As I said with the previous song, touching noses is just a step behind touching foreheads which Josele does to show affection. I imagine this line in the song as Josele going in to touch foreheads with Nacht. He’s simultaneously caught off guard by the gesture and enamored by it that he forgets to breathe. And that second line is Nacht believing he will never truly be forgiven. But where earlier in the song, he accepted eternal pain because of self loathing, at the song’s end, Nacht would be fine with the pain because Josele is there to comfort him. The final lines show Nacht’s determination to move on. He still has a way to go but he’s not holding himself, his love, back any longer.

There is so much in this song that I love. The feeling of determination despite enduring pain. Having doubts in oneself but still wanting to do right by others. The image of facing what is to come alongside someone you love. Being unsure of that love but wanting to believe in it. It hits me right in the feels. It’s beauty born from tragedy which suits Nacht’s love for Josele.

Nighthawks (song): The penultimate song. Before we get into the lyrics of the song, I want to talk about the song’s title (again). Nighthawks are literally a type of nocturnal bird but the word can also be used as a synonym for “night owl,” someone who is typically active late at night. Given some of the lines in the song, the latter understanding is likely the intended one. Either way, it suits Nacht, literally named for the night. And finally, at long last, Nacht and Josele are actually together in this song. Nacht is letting reality sink in and he’s considering the future. He still has fears and doubts but now he is certain that he wants to be by Josele’s side, come what may.

That day, staring at a spiral filament instead of sleeping

If just like this, tomorrow doesn't come, then what will I do? If morning came and it were all over, where would I go?

I've searched for a night I could consider perfect Now, I just want to see the stars, with you beside me...

Nacht is being kept up by his thoughts, wondering about the future. He and Josele have confessed their love and gotten together but he worries that it won’t last, that he won’t be able to hold onto Josele for long. Nacht is haunted by the thought that fate won’t let him find happiness. In spite of his worries, or perhaps because of them, he’s given up on pursuing “perfection” and just wants to enjoy life side-by-side with Josele. And since I headcanon stargazing as one of Nacht’s favorite activities, the mention of it in the lyrics is suitable.

If there were only one thing left that these empty hands could grab, I think I'd want it to be your outstretched hand If it were too clean, it'd be terrifying, so I'd like it to be a little dirty Ahh, that's all I'd need; that's our future I wish for...

Nacht has trouble protecting and remaining close with those he cares about and so he wishes to at least hold Josele. Her hand being outstretched is important because it shows how she reciprocates his love; it’s not him just hopelessly chasing. The fear of it being “too clean” comes from Nacht viewing himself as tainted by his sins but he’d be comforted when Josele reminds him that she’s used Forbidden Magic too, so she’s not entirely as pure as he once saw her as. That’s all Nacht is wanting at the moment, Josele’s love and assurance that she’ll be with him.

That day, in a dream, I was living on a fictional street I was convinced it really existed, and looked for it on a map But only thoughts I can't express very well remained in my chest Loneliness welled up to my throat; I'm looking for the words

Things that are far apart end up looking more beautiful, So before they become just memories, I want to tell you everything...

The street within the dream is an idealized life that Nacht wishes he could’ve lived with Josele. A road to happiness without pain or tragedy. But it could never be reality. Instead, Nacht is stuck with words he’d been unable to say back then and still struggles to convey in the present which pains him. Those distant, beautiful things in Nacht’s life include Josele and his memories of the past. In the past, despite them growing apart, Nacht just kept loving Josele more and more. And as time has moved on, his actions from before are becoming only memories. He won’t let them be forgotten though; Nacht intends to give Josele the full truth because she deserves to know. The past won’t just be memories but motivation for making the future even brighter. In a way, time has made Nacht’s memories more beautiful and painful simultaneously.

If it's an aimless future, I don't need it, I closed my eyes and shouted; Behind it was the future I sought with you, where we rolled around together Even if it's a worthless world, I like this world you say is so lovable Ahh, that's all I need; that's why I want you to know…

Before, Nacht would’ve been okay with dying as repentance for the wrong he’s done but he’s no longer resigned himself to a non-future like that. Nacht wants a future of certainty, of making the most of it, with Josele. And that “world” Josele loves is the world overall as well as the Black Bulls specifically, because we know Nacht’s early opinions of the Bulls. If Josele loves the Bulls so dearly, then he can grow to like them too.

Nostalgic music runs around in my head; It sounded to my ears like it was saying "you're okay" It won't be over for us - irregular as we are, we can keep living Beyond that curve, toward that clapping…

The music could be literal, a song that Nacht and Josele enjoyed listening to in their youths. Or it could be Josele recollecting something that Nacht thinks she wouldn’t remember fondly. In either scenario, Nacht is remembering the past in a way that isn’t hurtful. And so, even though they’ve been broken, Nacht wants himself and Josele to live as happily as they can.

I'd want to spend my time smiling; I'll go to meet you…

Most of the lyrics at the song’s beginning are repeated here at the end, as though Nacht’s thoughts are circling and repeating in his mind. However, the very final line is different. Instead of wondering where he might end up, Nacht determines that he’s going to be with Josele no matter what. That their futures are going to be intertwined.

I love how “Nighthawks” conveys thinking about the future. It’s about building off the past and present, having fears and hopes simultaneously. It’s fitting for Nacht who spent so much time acting because of past guilt to instead look to the future with hope. His love for Josele makes it easier but it’s something he does on his own. While the tune isn’t conventional for a love song, it’s filled with an energy that screams to me “adoration and devotion” and the lyrics add to it by sounding extremely romantic. And an unconventional love song is something suitable for someone like Nacht.

Blue Jasmine (guitar cover): Oh boy do I have feelings about “Blue Jasmine.” It’s one of the songs from this whole series that makes me cry the most. This is a love song, plain and simple. It’s not a love weighed down by sorrow as it had been in many previous songs. Although it’s not perfectly ideal, Nacht and Josele have reached a happy ending. And since I headcanon that Nacht plays guitar, I imagine him actually strumming the chords and singing his heart to Josele. Makes it all the sweeter to me.

Every time I hear your recollections, I feel it strongly: That I'm living that past to the fullest, leaving nothing behind

It took them a while, and it’ll be an ongoing process still, but Nacht and Josele are healing from the past. Nacht is listening to Josele reminisce and, instead of shame, he accepts it and feels content with it. Their history, the good and bad, has made them who they are today. While things aren’t the same, the joy they knew back then has returned to their lives and Nacht is now free to love Josele the way he had always wished. The past is far gone but Nacht will carry the feelings from back then into the future.

Even at an offer of jasmine tea, you made a face on the verge of tears, And though bewildered, you tasted it; I know you well...

The jasmine tea is symbolic of any act of love Nacht would show Josele. She might be feeling sad and when Nacht comforts her, she’ll be overwhelmed and end up crying. It could also be that the tears are a result from Josele being touched by Nacht’s shows of affection. Whether it be in times of happiness or sorrow, Josele accepts all of Nacht and his love. This is something that Nacht has finally learned and it comforts him.

I couldn't live well enough to skillfully choose from many paths, But my heart and body remember; if I'm with you, I can live...

Nacht made mistakes in the past. He chose a path of darkness before taking a more righteous one. He will regret it forever but he can’t let it keep him from truly living. Being with Josele, having given his heart and earned her heart in return, gives him assurance. Josele is his comfort and strength if he ever needs a reminder that it’s okay for him to live.

Now, where should we go? Listen, darling, wherever it may be, I'm sure that just having you beside me will make it special... With a kiss and a laugh, let's live like we're playing a prank We've found something that won't go away, even if we lose it all...

Nacht is asking Josele what she wants to do with their lives now. What kind of life does she want to lead with him? Whatever they do, wherever they go, Nacht will be happy with it simply because he and Josele are able to do it together. The next line conveys the desire to live while openly expressing their affection and with a sense of youthful mischief and fun. Nacht and Josele deserve to live with their hearts light, he realizes that now. Especially considering how much they’ve been through before. Now that the two of them have found love in each other, even if life isn’t perfect from that point onward and they are to lose things along the way, they’ll always have each other.

Hidden like stars in the daytime, even if we can't see it now, Happiness has been everywhere around us, tumbling along the ground

Despite their love for each other always being present, neither Nacht nor Josele was able to see it, for various reasons. It was always there, it just took time and the right conditions to see it clearly. Not only that but it was never a far away thing, the way Nacht thought it was. It had always been so close to him in reality.

I look at the flowing eyelashes on your sleeping eyes, And it occurs to me that our days to come will be happy...

Of course Nacht would admire Josele as she sleeps. She’s beautiful and at peace. It would amaze him how Josele was able to easily return to her old ways after her curse was broken, considering how long the curse lasted and why she cursed herself in the first place. After so much pain, the little things mean so much. It’s mundane joys like that which he hopes to appreciate for the rest of his days.

I can't open my heart enough to get along well with anyone, But for you, I've prepared things that I feel I can only say to you...

Opening up and speaking honestly was never Nacht’s strong suit, which he will readily admit. And he finds a lot of people disagreeable. But he’s trying to change his ways. Nacht wants to be perfectly transparent with her, since he knows how much pain was caused by keeping things secret. And because Josele already knows Nacht so well, has seen him at his best and worst, he would feel safe saying things to her that he wouldn’t share with another soul.

Unable to avoid feeling lonely, and unable to hide even that, I still remember that night when I wanted to hear your voice I suppose we'll repeat those same nights many times to come, And each time, I'll confirm that I love you...

Even if they’re living happily, there will come days when Nacht can’t escape his guilt. It would be something he can’t hide, whether or not he wants to. He’ll remember the days when they were estranged after Morgen’s death or when Josele was cursed, those painful times when he missed Josele the most. But in remembering those times, it will make the happy life Nacht has with Josele feel even more wonderful, more real as he can just reach out and hold her for comfort. Each time Nacht feels unsure of his love for Josele or hers for him, he’ll let her know how much he cares. And he’ll do it more times than that. Really, Nacht could never grow tired of telling Josele he loves her.

That smile you wore as you happily drank the tea I offered - I hope it never changes tomorrow, or the day after, or ever after...

The image of drinking tea with a smile, a mundane activity in a peacefully content life. But like I said earlier, tea is symbolic of an act of love in general. Josele would definitely smile in appreciation at what Nacht does for her. Nacht wants to provide Josele with happiness forever. And that smile he loves so dearly, since the day they met, he wants Josele to never lose it ever again.

And I'll always confirm that I love you...

The first version of the chorus repeats before the song ends with the line of always confirming one’s love conveys Nacht’s thoughts of always loving Josele no matter the circumstance and being ready to tell her that. She is the love of his life, what makes his life feel special, and he’ll repeat it to her until he dies.

There is so much I love about this song. How this song sounds like something that could be serenaded to someone else. The fact that there are traces of negative feelings but they’re overpowered by the pure love and devotion expressed throughout the rest of the song. The tune is simple and the lyrics are straightforward and easily understood. All those factors match up with Nacht. Now that they’ve settled down, Nacht wants to love Josele in simple ways and make his feelings for her clear. Nacht and Josele’s story is complicated and imperfect, but they’ve found love in the end and that’s what matters. To me, “Blue Jasmine” is the perfect song to summarize Nacht’s love for Josele and the perfect ending for them.

..........

I want to start my closing statement for this whole series by showing the breakdown of where all these songs came from.

Kenshi Yonezu has released five albums under his real name. Those albums are:

-diorama: a concept album about a desert town on the back of a catfish which is later flooded by rain and seemingly abandoned. A consistent theme throughout the songs is that everyone in the town is not living their best life. -YANKEE: an album that has a running theme of "curses" as stated in interviews with Yonezu. -Bremen: an album inspired by the fairy tale of "Town Musicians of Bremen" and with contrasting songs that interact like light and dark (Yonezu's example is "Metronome" being a goodbye while "Blue Jasmine" is a frank love song). -BOOTLEG: an album that seems to have a theme of "connectedness." Yonezu has also commented that many of the songs are him playing with the concepts of originality and homage (as several are songs written for other media or are inspired by other music genres). -STRAY SHEEP: an album with the motif of a crystal, the idea being that of damaged things still being beautiful as gems are cut (thus damaged) when used by humans.

Some of the songs come from Yonezu's singles. One song was released outside of an album and single. Now to see which songs in each ship playlist came from where.

Faustsele

Eine Kleine (YANKEE album) Flowerwall (Bremen album) Orion (Bootleg album) Spring Thunder (Bootleg album) Sight for Sore Eyes (YANKEE album) Lemon (STRAY SHEEP album) Donut Hole (YANKEE album) Melancholy Kitchen (YANKEE album) Love (exclusive release with Yonezu’s book “Monster Encyclopedia”) WOODEN DOLL (YANKEE album) 5 - Yankee, 1 - Bremen, 2 - Bootleg, 1 - Stray Sheep, 1 - non-album exclusive

Remember how the motif of the YANKEE album was "curses." Not my intention but I find it interesting how Josele, who is literally cursed, takes most of her songs from an album centered on that theme.

Morgsele

Jade Wolf (“orion” single) PLACEBO (STRAY SHEEP album) Canary (STRAY SHEEP album) Fireworks (Bootleg album) Night Bugs on a Rainy Street (Bremen album) Spot the Difference (STRAY SHEEP album) Monster's March (Bootleg album) Spirit of the Sea (STRAY SHEEP album) 1 - Bremen, 2 - Bootleg, 4 - Stray Sheep, 1 - non-album exclusive

Morgen's songs mostly coming from STRAY SHEEP is fitting as he is the black sheep of the family, strayed from their devil practices. He's also like a gem, hurt by his family's secret but still able to shine brilliantly.

Nacsele

Headless Cuckoo (diorama album) Cinderella Gray (Bremen album) Love and Fever (diorama album) Mirage Song (Bremem album) Vivi (diorama album) Metronome (Bremen album) Paper Flower (“Lemon” single) Santa Maria (YANKEE album) Sunflower (STRAY SHEEP album) Pale Blue (“Pale Blue” single) Horse and Deer (STRAY SHEEP album) Nighthawks (Bootleg album) Blue Jasmine (Bremen album) 3 - diorama, 1 - Yankee, 4 - Bremen, 1 - Bootleg, 2 - Stray Sheep, 2 - non-album exclusives

It's appropriate that Nacht is the only one to have songs from “diorama” since those songs are about people being miserable and Nacht is just... really sad. In the end, he has one more song from Bremen, which is an amazing coincidence given his devils' inspiration.

And here is the final percentage breakdown of how many songs came from each source.

By one song, STRAY SHEEP has the biggest presence with Bremen and YANKEE tied for second.

With that now done, let me share my final closing thoughts...

I'll admit that some of the song connections stretch a little. Not every word fits but that'd be impossible to get as the songs weren't written for my ships in mind.

And I know it looks like Nacsele is favored above Morgsele in the amount of songs, but Yonezu has a lot more songs which address feelings of loss, sadness, frustration which lends better to Nacht's perspective. I could definitely expand Morgen's playlist by looking at songs beyond Yonezu's work but who knows when that might happen.

I really love Kenshi Yonezu's work. I was listening to his songs on loop long before I ever found the translations of the songs and was able to connect them to my ships. And now that I've made those connections, I love Yonezu's work and my ships even more.

Nacht and Morgen are my favorite characters in Black Clover. Not just because they're handsome. What I really love about them is their themes, together and apart. Morgen is a character about kindness for the sake of itself and how a good person can inspire others (what Morgen did for Yami). Nacht's story is about redemption, forgiveness towards oneself, and the importance of honest communication (something he lacked with both Morgen and Yami). And together, they tell a story about unconditional love (despite their differences, they were family who loved each other) and what it means to be good, whether it is something innate and can't be sullied or something that can be learned after mistakes are made.

Josele is an oc of mine who I've put so much time and love into. She's one of a few ocs who I really put through the wringer before putting her on the path to healing and a happy ending. Her character and journey is about the importance of emotions (obviously) and connections to other people. Cutting herself off from others is what led to her curse and it's by making connections with the Black Bulls that she's able to be herself again. I want to explore how she interacts with the Bulls in the future because most of the content about Josele is also in relation to the Fausts. But as this project shows, they're kind of a major factor in her life. Josele is probably my best and favorite oc because there's just a lot going on with her.

When it comes to Yonezu's work, I'd definitely call it my comfort music. Despite so many of the songs having melancholy or dark themes, others have loving and hopeful themes. I listen to Yonezu's music and I'm reminded that other people have feelings of being insufficient or disconnected from the rest of the world but also that connections exist and there are things of beauty. Even though I've heard them so many times, I still tear up at some of them. Because the emotions expressed and the stories told touch my heart. And they've become even more special to me now that I've been able to connect them with something in my fandom experience.

Working on this project has been kind of a journey for me. At first, I was content just knowing for myself how these songs suited my ships. I think a part of me was also a little defensive, too. Like, I was afraid that if I talked about Yonezu's music on my blog, then the safety/comfort I got from the songs would be diminished. I felt as if others knowing about Yonezu's work would mean they were taking it away from me. I quickly realized I was being stupid, but I didn't think I could pull off a project of this size. Thankfully, with some encouragement from a friend, I went through with making this project. To just ramble about why these songs suit my ships. To let people know about an artist that I love so much. Sometimes I hit writer's block, unable to put my thoughts on the screen, or I just didn't have the energy to form coherent thoughts. I kind of think my thoughts as I've written them still aren't perfectly comprehensive and there's a lot of repetition but that's how it turned out.

Ultimately, this is my comfort music and my comfort ships brought together by my passion for both. I'll probably never do a big project like this ever again because... I just get that feeling.

If you read the series (as a whole or just part of it), thank you for your time. If you didn't, then I'm wondering why you're reading this post.

Anyways, thank you for your time and for indulging my brain rot.

[ireneaesthetic]

Just a hodgepodge of asks to get to know your favorites and gush some more about YR (one day it'll be enough right?). Share your thoughts dears!

thank you to @greenspectacle for tagging me, it’s so much appreciated 💗

Favorite

kiss: it’s them smiling into a slow kiss, taking it all in and basically saying we did it.

hug: proof of what being each other’s rock feels and looks like.

forehead touching: i still believe that, in this moment, they both probably knew deep down how it was all going to turn out and they just let their gestures speak.

hand holding: can you still feel the butterflies in your stomach and hear the “this is about us now” in the background? because i do.

wille and simon outfits

this look is just appearance and not even a bit representative of his personality, but it’s a serve and screams best oufit all over it.

whereas simon’s purple hoodie is superior, let me appreciate this outfit because, as sad as the atmosphere is while wearing it, its aesthetic and colors fit him so well.

OST song: “aching bursts” perfectly sums up the vibes throughout six episodes in just almost two minutes of harmonies. the power.

Share a moment that

made you cry (happy or sad tears): the breathable tension. the loneliness. the deafening silence. the sadness turning into flames. wilhelm standing still while the world keeps turning, the same in which he constantly tries to find his place, that gave him everything and then took it away right after, the world that is collapsing on him, for the umpteenth time, with no one left to rely on. heartbreaking.

made you smile big: erik coming up with the “we run on three” game to get them out of an anxious and uncomfortable situation for wilhelm. it really shows their precious bond and connection away from the royal boundary, the positive influence along with the breath of fresh air that comes with it, especially in wilhelm’s life. they are just so beautiful to watch.

made you want to throw your screen against a wall: the moment august is informed that wilhelm personally took care of his financial problems and let him out of trouble. my emotions were so mixed and fucked up at that time, we had been through a lot and if there was one thing i knew for sure it was what august didn't deserve: someone to help him and fix what he himself had consciously destroyed with his own hands. i can not put into words how much anger and frustration i felt and still feel just thinking about it.

fish scene, first time or morning after scene? the morning after scene is the glimpse of pure happiness they both needed the most and we, as an audience, were craving for. it’s just the two of them, in their carefully built bubble, feeling in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. they’re not controlled or overwhelmed by circumstances, but they are the ones in full control of their own actions and words, being two young, playful, carefree boys in love with their love basically.

moment you knew this show was something special: imprinting might be the right word. i was sold right after the intro, it took me just the very first few seconds to know it would have been something special. i clicked the play button and my mind went “that’s it, this is what i was searching for”.

quote you love: “i just want you to hold me” and “we haven’t done anything wrong” own a special place in my heart.

(shoutout to madison and her “fuck you august” for telling him what we all would have liked to tell)

Who would you want to be friends with first (or be BFFs) if you went to Hillerska? this is a tricky question, because there’s a whole new season ahead of us and we don’t know how each character will grow and the different aspects of their personality that we’ll find out yet, but with what we know now, even if i feel more connected to wilhelm in a way, i straightly say simon: he’s such a kind hearted person and if i could ever choose to have him in my life, i wouldn't hesitate for a second.

Pick a song you like that you feel could be Wille's, Simon's or Wilmon's anthem. “someone to stay” by vancouver sleep clinic fully reflects wilhelm's actual state of mind and his deepest need, which he has shown so many times: someone to stay.

Show me a scene that when you see it, makes you want to rewatch the show right then and there. it was the first scene that i accidentally saw and made me want to start yr straight away, it will always be the scene that makes me want to rewatch it right then and there.

it was extremely hard to choose, for an eternally indecisive person like me, but i did my best and it was a pleasure. i don’t tag anyone in particular, if you’re reading this, you support the show and don’t know how to deal with the time ahead of us before the second season airs, this is the right way to do it 💗

[blu-joons]

DATING EXO HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴  Byun Baekhyun

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Cuddles are very important to Baekhyun, whilst he might try to play things cool a lot of the time, behind closed doors, he finds hugs very reassuring and comforting in amongst the chaos that his lifestyle brings.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

The two of you had met through a mutual friend, and instantly gravitated towards each other. His bright personality caught your attention quickly, Baekhyun made you feel safe and comfortable whenever he was around. He also loved having your company and talked to you a lot about anything that came to mind.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

Baekhyun was terrified to confess his feelings to you, he didn’t want to frighten you off or read the wrong signals. With Minseok’s backing especially, he was encouraged into confessing to you one night when you were visiting. You were able to tell straight away that something wasn’t quite right, pushing Baekhyun until he told you what it was. As soon as he did, you were there to assure him he’d read your signals perfectly.

D ⇴ DATES

He’s another member who often prefers to be at home rather than going out. Dates out of his apartment are rare, but Baekhyun will make sure that they’re special. Instead, he’ll try and arrange plenty of fun things for the two of you to do at his place. They tend to involve games and food, occasions where the two of you can just kick back and relax and be yourselves. Baekhyun is big on special occasions though, anniversaries and birthdays always have to be celebrated by doing something neither of you will forget.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

It’s well known that Baekhyun has been in a relationship before, he knows the mistakes he made and is determined not to make the same mistakes with you. He’s nervous to begin with, taking the step back into a relationship is huge, but with your reassurance, he knows it’s what he wants and the right thing to do. It takes a while for Baekhyun to open up publicly about your relationship as he doesn’t want to hurt you, but once he gets the backing of the fans, he’s more than happy to tell them all about you and brag endlessly.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

One of the biggest bonuses of dating Baekhyun is his ability to read a room. If things begin to turn sour between the two of you, he can tell instantly, and will quickly put a stop to whatever it is that is causing the tension. At times it frustrates you how good he is at stopping an argument from happening, but you’re also well aware how much better it is for you both not to start shouting at each other. He will sit and talk through a problem rather than shout, but again, if he senses things are not going well, then he’ll give you a bit of space before trying again when the two of you can talk a bit more easily with each other.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You heard many stories about his family when you started dating, so you were very excited to mee them, as they were with you. Baekhyun was stunned at how well you all got along, somehow, he ended up being the one pushed aside so that his family could find out as much as they possibly could about you.

H ⇴ HOME

As much as he loved having his own place, he definitely missed the company. Baekhyun was worried about moving you in as he was very tidy and neat. Days slowly turned into weeks when it came to easing you into living with him, before eventually those weeks turned into a permanent fixture of you living with him.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

You were actually the first to say ‘I love you’ when you noticed Baekhyun having a difficult day. He was unusually quiet, and you were struggling to know what to do to make him feel better, so you decided to open up your heart and tell him how you felt. Best of all, doing that, certainly put the smile back on his face.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Baekhyun tended to get jealous quite often if someone else had your attention. He would be able to tell pretty quickly when someone was trying to get close to you or push him out of the equation, quickly putting a stop to it. He’d often be able to tell before you even noticed, so he’d grab your hand and pull you out of the situation. He was a very good judge of character and would be able to warn you about what was going on before you’d even clicked, which was a trait of his that you were very grateful for indeed.

K ⇴ KIDS

He was still very much a big kid at heart, he loved messing around and joking with you. Baekhyun couldn’t wait for the day when he had little ones to entertain and play with. You knew he would make a great dad one day too, it was just about finding the right time. When Baekhyun began talking about kids, it was difficult to get him to stop, he’d often lose himself in deep thought and talk about all his dreams.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

His playful nature meant you were often laughing around Baekhyun. He loved to try and make you laugh and mess around with you. Tickle attacks were very common from him, if you were having a bad day, the moment he could grab onto your hips he’d attack them. He loved to prank you too, he’d often set traps around the house to catch you out, collapsing to the floor every time one paid off and you began chasing him around the house, promising that one day you’d eventually get payback for all that he did.

M ⇴ MISSING

He’d try hard to not make you worry when he was away and not show you that he missed you, but it was hard on him. At nights, he’d sit for hours with you on the phone and offload about all his worries, and you’d sit and listen. If time zones stopped him from talking to you, he’d turn to one of his members for a shoulder of support whilst he tried to get in contact with you. If the mood between you both got down, he’d quickly try and tell a joke to pick things up again, he hated seeing you struggle with him being away, even though he struggled himself, he’d try hard not to show that side of himself to you, and only allow you to see him smile.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

Baekhyun loved to call you ‘jagi’ it was a word you heard many times throughout the day, at the start of texts, when he wanted your attention, he’d call it out all of the time so that he was able to find where you were.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Your laughter was what Baekhyun was most obsessed with. He loved to know that you were happy and enjoying yourself, if you weren’t laughing, he wouldn’t stop until you were.

P ⇴ PDA

He tended to get a bit shy when it came to affection in public, he’d usually hold your hand or the small of your back, but that would usually be it. It was the same in interviews too, he’d answer questions about you, but would never gush about you too much out of fear of doing or saying the wrong thing in response.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

Anything that came to mind, Baekhyun would ask you about. He loved to talk about the most random things with you, just to initiate a bit of conversation. It would drive you crazy sometimes the random things that he came out with.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

For special occasions, Baekhyun loves to write songs for you. They’ll never be released, as he loves to keep them between the two of you. He’ll spend hours sat at his piano trying to come up with the perfect song just for you. He’ll always turn red as soon as he shows them to you, his cheeks will be bright red throughout the whole song, but when it’s done, you’ll definitely show him how appreciative you are of it.

S ⇴ SEX

He’s a mess during intimate moments, whilst he loves being close and affectionate with you, it also makes him super shy. He likes to dominate, but it often ends with you being a little more of the dominate one as Baekhyun hides his flushed cheeks in the crook of your neck. Afterwards, he’ll let you know exactly how he feels once the butterflies have disappeared and he can go back to being his usual self.

T ⇴ TEXTS

Baekhyun isn’t a big fan of a text, he much prefers to call you and hear the sound of your voice. If he texts, it will usually be something quick and unimportant, he doesn’t worry too much about you responding quickly either.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

You were the greatest gift in Baekhyun’s life. He struggled often to sum up how important you were to him, it was a feeling that very few people could understand, but you and he knew, and that was what was important.

V ⇴ VACATION

Baekhyun tried to take you away often, even if it was just a couple of days away in Seoul. Whilst he enjoyed staying at home, he also loved adventuring with you and taking you away so that he could show you how appreciative he was of the fact that you were so understanding of how crazy his life could be.

W ⇴ WHINING

He tended to whine when he wanted something, it was usually when his childish nature would come out to play, he’d go on and on until he got what he wanted.

X ⇴ XXXXX

His kisses are very frequent, if he can feel himself beginning to blush, he’ll often kiss you to distract you or hide his cheeks. Whenever he has his arms around you, it feels natural to him to also have his lips pressing against you. His kisses often very depending on the mood, sometimes they’ll just be light, quick pecks, other times he’ll linger and press against you more powerfully so you can receive as much of his love as possible.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his best friend, the one he’d always searched for.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Night-time was usually when the two of you would stay up and talk the most. You’d spend hours some nights just talking about random things, curled up in each other’s arms with your legs intertwined in with each other.

---

Masterlist

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)