#love big scary ian.....

[ange1sang]

filed under ian lines that make me lose it

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Oof dear @avatar94 thank you for noticing my list of children.

They're all in timeout lol.

Seeing the like on this post from ages past (what a year?) Reminds me I have a good omens wip too.

Heaven's Light Hell's Fire

Aziraphale is an apprentice/deacon and has been transferred from Tadfield to Notre Dame in Paris. While there he will be under the guidance of Gabriel and Sandalphon the Vicar and the Judge of the cathedral.

Crowley lives in the bell tower, hidden away from the world. A skin disease called greyscale has turned his skin thick grey and black and scale-like. He is the bellringer for the cathedral, which let's him carve wood and dance in peace from jeering eyes.

Are all of these still wips?

Yes.

Do I still plan to finish them?

Yes.

At some point.

I have them mentally outlined of what happens and how they finish.

Buuuut as for getting the thoughts out.... not yet.

A big bunch of love to everyone who has read and is being patient with all of these.

I get a spare comment on my good omens fic from at least 3 or 4 years ago and it makes me happy that everyone Is so nice when I tell them I will eventually finish but it might not be soon.

💙💙

WIP day, newest day of the week

Tagged by @doodlevich @flamingbluepanda @energievie and @sisitrip to share bits of what I'm working on.

BUT

I at the moment don't have any chapter drafts, so I'll just share all the WIPS and little blurbs about them.

Stranger Things

Chrissy Wake Up

Chrissy has nightmares and looks to Eddie for help. She also begins to lose the chains that her mother and Jason tie her down with thanks to Eddie's help and acceptance.

The New Girl At Hawkins High

Eddie Munson x Plus size reader where the reader is new to Hawkins and Eddie is drawn to her. Inviting her to join Hellfire for the night.

Gallavich/Shameless

Can We Skip To The Good Stuff

Mandy drags Mickey to a concert where they have a VIP pass to play dodgeball with the band and the crew, Mickey clocks the redhead in the face, gets taken back by security and talks with the redhead, hitting it off. Only when he sees Ian on stage does he realize he's the main singer.

The Upside

After Ian is injured after a bipolar manic episode that leaves him with c7 quadriplegia and in a wheelchair his older sister and brother decide he needs a caretaker.

Mickey is needing a job to appease his parole officer when he accidentally applies as Ian's life auxiliary. Which means up close and personal time with the redheaded boss.

Spare Parts

After a run with Terry goes bad and Mickey is shot, he has to undergo surgery to get his right arm and his right leg. His world is turned upside down as he tries to rehabilitate and cope with the sudden changes he is going through.

Ian is a physical therapist dealing with inner mental health problems and is working at Mountain Heights Physical Therapy when a tough looking brunette woman comes in to make an appointment for her brother.

Knight in a Shining Youber

Mickey is an uber driver, one night picking up a couple from the Fairy Tale he realizes the ginger is drugged out of his mind and the geriatric fuck he's with is taking advantage of him. Mickey takes Ian somewhere safe until he can sober up and tell him where he can take him.

Ian doesn't have anywhere to go, he's in dept to a drug dealer and he's recently been abused in several ways and his mind is all fucked up. When he wakes up to an unfamiliar surroundings with a blue eyed man making breakfast he doesn't know what to think, where to go. But Mickey is there to help.

Once Upon a Food Truck

Mickey and Ian are rival food truck operators in Chicago and when they begin fighting over a parking spot it starts to get personal with views being racked up on social media, the rivals decide a little fake dating for the fans will get them both plenty of customers. But the fake dating starts getting a little more realer than the two planned.

Valorous Vigilantes

Ian is an EMT when he gets a call to go to the Alibi where there's a fight happening. He's surprised to see Mickey Milkovich getting beat close to death by his father, even more surprised to find out that Terry was beating him because Mickey came out as "a big ol mo." Ian picks Mickey up and takes him to the hospital.

Once admitted Ian visits him and finds out more about Mickey than he had planned.

Big Top Beloveds

(This one doesn't get regularly updated, I just needed to get this bit out of my head.)

Mickey Milkovich is the new Circus Ringmaster/owner of the Gallagher Circus, Terry won it from Frank as a form of payment and is throwing the responsibility to Mickey, thinking it's a shit job. Mickey, completely out of his element, starts changing things around much to the irritation and anger of some members there, the tall redhead being one of them. Ian Gallagher is one of the acrobats and aerial performers of his father's circus, when a new ringmaster joins them and starts to change shit around Ian is pissed, until he realizes that the new ringmaster is the man with the stunning blue eyes from before.

[in-act-ive]

Yo can I request the Gallagher boys (not Liam) and Mickey headcanons if U do them (all separately) with a male reader who's more domimant and taller (sorry I can't spell) in the relationship like they also have to be the big spoon or whatever reader always pulls them in to his lap or something nothing sexual

Thank you if U can't do multiple characters can U do lip or Mickey

I'm real sick of the fics where the male reader it still feminine y'know

Have a nice day sorry for the long request

I had so many ides for this the moment you asked!

Request : yes

Type : headcanon

A / N : hope this is what you wanted!! Sorry it took so long btw, I got sick really fast and couldn't write!

Carl Gallagher

At first he's very confused by whats going on

After a few times he gets used to sitting in your lap and does it instinctively

Carl hates that you're taller in every way

He's probably a brat to you

He insists on getting stuff he can't reach even if you've offered to help

Carl is very independent and says he doesn't need your help

When he does need your help he's such a bitch about it

He does like having his scary dog privileges though to be honest

If he's about to go do shady shit he drags you along to scare anyone off who may try and fuck with him

When he's a police officer he insists on protecting you

Oh how the tables have turned

When you spoon him he definitely pulls your hands up to his chest so he can hold your hands

After a while he just lets you lay your hands wherever you'd like

He's comfy with whatever

Lip Gallagher

He won't admit it but he kinda likes that you're taller than he is

The first time he sits in your lap he's flustered as hell but continues to flirt with you

After a few times its still a little awkward but he won't admit it

He just insists on not doing it

He uses your height to his advantage

The moment he doesn't feel like reaching something he bothers you to grab it for him

He finds it hilarious that you are too tall for the Gallagher house

He likes to tease you when you hit your head on stuff or trip on something

His love language is most definitely teasing

When you both go out he kinda acts like you're not there

When he gets into fights you have to save him half the time

When he confronts bitches of men he almost always has you standing around incase it doesn't go his way

The moment you two cuddle and you spoon him he gets kinda pissed off

He'd much rather face you

He does feel protected in your arms but won't say that

Ian Gallagher

Ian is already the tallest Gallagher and is too tall for their house but having you around makes him jealous

He is confused when you pulled him into your lap

He's not opposed to the idea of sitting with you but he also really doesn't seem to know what to do with himself

Once he's used to it and knows a comfortable way to sit its one of his favorites

He won't admit it

He insists on getting everything himself no matter if you can reach it or not

He probably warns you before you run into a doorway cause he knows what its like

He hates PDA

Especially holding hands

Mainly because he hates feeling like the shorter guy in any relationship

Even if he is

The moment you spoon him he says something dumb

"No. No we're not doing this."

He wants to be the big spoon but you object to that idea

Finally you compromise on you both facing each other

Mickey Milkovich

He doesn't mind your height at all

Everyone is always taller than him anyways ao your height is just something about you

He thinks its attractive but obviously wont say his feelings

The moment you pulled him into your lap he immediately was fine with it

When he sat in your lap he sat like a king on his throne

Mickey gets so used to it and does it absentmindedly

He will push you into a chair just to sit in your lap no matter how busy you may be

When you guys go out of the house he loves having his "scary dog privileges"

He knows when it comes down to a fight he'd probably kick someones ass for you though

He loves when you hold him or touch him in public

Then he knows that your his and he's yours no matter what

Plus he finds it fucking hilarious when you have to tell people to go away cause you're together

When it comes to cuddling he loves when you spoon him

Its his favorite thing ever

When you don't he makes you no questions ask

Note: This was not spell checked nor grammer checked! I apologize in advance for the mistakes

[atthedugouts]

"I need the shit-talking bitch-slapping piece of southside trash I fell for. Where is he?"

I love that line so much.

One, Ian is saying he loves Mickey to his face, even if it's not directly. I go back in forth if the border was the first time Ian said "I love you" but we know he definitely expressed his feelings in some ways.

Two, I think it shows how Ian just wants someone to be on his side to fight with him. The diagnosis is scary and Ian still hasn't fully accepted it yet and he doesn't want people to baby him or treat him differently.

He's striving for some sort of normalcy and Mickey is a big part of that. He's recreating a shared moment that obviously means so much to him (possible that Ian views the dugouts after Juvie a first date or at least an important step in their relationship).

Ian doesn't need another caretaker in his life, that's who his whole family has become, he just needs someone on his side and who matter then Mickey? The person he loves and the person who can be brash but in a way that comes from honesty. Ian needs Mickey to be Mickey.

I like to think they would of talk shit out more at Sizzler's and come to an understanding. Find some common ground with Mickey being what Ian needs in the moment and Ian letting Mickey worry a little bit. But life is cruel.

[firenati0n]

flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble

by firenati0n on ao3

T | 2.7k

tags: magic/fantasy au, college au, parent feels (catherine and alive!arthur), tooth-rotting fluff, sassy black cat david, tea as a metaphor for love, if you imagine david sounding like a mix of ian mckellen and patrick stewart it makes it 100x better

Henry is eight, and he can’t sleep. The trees outside are too big, their shadows too scary in his window as the wind makes the branches thump against the glass. He rubs at his eyes before digging his head in his pillow again, hoping sleep claims him. From underneath his door, light filters in from the hallway—his mother is probably in the kitchen, grinding herbs and ingredients for her potions. If there’s anyone who can help him, it’s her.

Or, Henry shares special potions that he learned from his parents over the years with Alex.

xoxo roop

my @flufftober fic for day 11: ingredients and spells :)

this is a sequel to my kiki's delivery service au with warlock!henry and baker!alex but can absolutely be read as a standalone. but that fic is very sweet and soft and i would recommend reading it alongside this for all the backstory and maximum feels<3

tagging the rest of the collection crew: @thesleepyskipper @theprinceandagcd @caterpills @kj-bee @exitariel000

@shesfromboston @msmarvelouswinchester @dani-dabbles @jafffacakess

[yukidragon]

Sunshine in Hell Height Headcanons

It's June 15, which as many of you know from this official profile, that it's Sunny Day Jack's birthday today!

You might also know that it's [Redacted]'s birthday thanks to this ominous picture Sauce shared last year on this day. Funny how these two totally distinct characters share a birthday isn't it? 🤔

Anyway, I was hoping to have written something for this year to celebrate, but like last year my spoons are way too few and far between. I was also hoping to do something self-indulgent for my own birthday, but same lack of spoons halted me there too.

So, until I can stock up on more metaphorical utensils to help me do the stuff I feel like doing, I'm going to celebrate by rambling a little bit about some headcanon details.

Sunshine in Hell differs from the game demos in a number of ways, and one of them is Jack's height. As you might've seen from the profile link, Jack is canonically 6'2", but in my personal headcanon continuity, I decided to make the gentle giant quite a bit taller than that. Because it amuses me, and I struggle with imagining Jack as shorter than Cove Holden.

When deciding how tall to make Jack in my stories, I also decided to do a height chart for him and a few other characters as well. It helps to better imagine characters interacting when you can see how tall they are compared to others.

Yes, I threw in a few extra love interests to the mix, as well as a couple other MCs. I was curious to see how tall Alice would be compared to her sisters, and I had to throw in their love interests as well.

As an aside, it tickles me that even after I made Jack significantly taller, he's shorter than Bo's horny "Feed Me" form.

For those of you that need the conversion from centimeters to feet and inches, or have trouble reading the image, I'll write them down for easy reference.

Alice: 162 cm / 5'4"

Jack: 198 cm / 6'6"

Shaun: 178 cm / 5'10"

Nick: 173 cm / 5'8"

Ian: 170 cm / 5'7"

Bo: 180 cm / 5'11"

Barbie: 184 cm / 6'0"

Bo "Feed Me" form: 216 cm / 7'1"

Elias: 185 cm / 6'1"

Coraline: 172 cm / 5'8"

As you can see, Shaun, Nick, and Ian stuck with the canon heights in their profiles. It's just Jack who got a height increase because it's what I imagined his height to be from the start, and Sunshine in Hell is basically my headcanons that diverge from the game's canon, so I do what I want. It's also fun to imagine scary yandere Jack towering over every single one of the love interests. It adds to the intimidation factor too despite his gentle giant persona.

Bo and Elias don't have canon heights like the SDJ love interests, so I mostly just did whatever felt right to me for them. Bo's regular height was influenced by the mafia AU picture Sauce drew. It served as a very good height comparison chart all on its own. As you can see, Bo is just tall enough to reach Jack's smile if you don't count the ears and poofy hair.

All credit to the awesome Sauce for their lovely art of course and for feeding my headcanons. As always, I want to link to the SnaccPop Patreon as gratitude for being cool with me using their art in my posts. If you're a a free or paying member, consider checking out an important survey that went up to help guide the team in their future endeavors.

Bo looks so short compared to Jack, doesn't he? In my headcanon land, it's just a matter of perspective, and next to other people Bo is pretty darn tall. Though he's just one teeny tiny inch shorter than his puppy.

You bet your sweet bippy Barbie takes smug satisfaction in that one inch height superiority. Bo talks so big as a big bad alpha dog, but the puppy he's trying to dominate is just a bit bigger and badder than he ever expected.

Of course, Bo gets to turn it right back around on Barbie with his monster sized "Feed Me" form. Like werewolves that become huge compared to their human selves, when Bo's inner beast comes out to play, he adds on quite a lot of height and muscle. He towers over even Jack! Still, even when super sized, he's no match for Barbie.

As you can see, despite being the eldest child, Alice is shorter than her two younger sisters, especially Barbie! They got more of their dad's height genes, while Alice took more after their mom in that department. Barbie and Coraline are quite a bit taller than average, a fact that Barbie revels in, and Coraline can find a little awkward sometimes, especially during moments of weakness. It can be hard to help someone stand back up and walk when they're much taller than you are after all. It leads to some embarrassing moments for poor Coraline.

On that same note of surprisingly tall people with chronic illnesses, I thought it would be interesting if Elias would have been a very tall man if not for his illness. There's no canon height for him and he's floating with Jack and Bo in the Christmas picture, so it's hard to go with a comparative height. So, I went with what felt narratively interesting to me. With his legs being twisted, and him being hunched over with a cane, he probably appeared shorter than he actually was. It's hard to see his exact height with his lower half ghostly and indistinct as well. It's only when he actually bothers to give himself legs and stand with both feet planted firmly on the ground that he can show off just how tall he really is.

While I'm on the topic of height, I wonder if one of Ian's insecurities was his height. Some men have issues if they're shorter than their peers, and Ian is the shortest of the love interests. I can imagine it certainly didn't help if he was bullied for being short along with his general "nerdy" appearance back in school.

Still, Ian has nothing to complain about at the height he's at as a fully grown adult. Even if the other love interests are taller than he is, Ian is still above average for men in the US. He's just got the misfortune of being the shortest guy in a group of very tall people. At least he doesn't have to worry about taking the bottom spot in the height chart like Alice.

Yes, Alice is a bit self-conscious about being so short compared to her peers, even if technically she's also above average height for a woman in the US. She feels especially tiny when standing next to Jack.

Though, admittedly, Alice does find it very nice to feel tiny and delicate when Jack sweeps her up into his arms. It makes her feel less self-conscious about how chubby she is when her big strong giant of a boyfriend can carry her around so easily. Once she gets over the initial fear that he might drop her, she'll soon look forward to being whisked away by her silly clown.

Oh, and if you're wondering about Mary's height... I'm still debating if I want her to be around Alice's height or a little taller. She had the same eye color in both lives due to the eyes being windows to the soul, but there were other physical differences due to different parents introducing different genetics. I need to ruminate on that fine of detail more and see what feels more interesting to me narratively.

Though even if Mary was as tall as Barbie, she'll still be short enough for Joseph to sweep into her arms since he's just as much of a giant now as he was then. Not that it would stop him from trying even if his sunshine was bigger than him. Nothing will stop Joseph/Jack from showing his love for his sunshine!

I think I'll wrap things up on that fluffy note. I hope y'all enjoyed me going off on a headcanon ramble after such a long time. With any luck, I'll be able to get to answering some asks soon. Thanks for reading!

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[deedala]

🍂 Weekly Tag Wednesday 🍂

thanks for the game this week @mybrainismelted (and @heymacy and @jrooc) and also thanks for tagging me @energievie and @suzy-queued and @lingy910y !! 💖💖

Name: deanna

Location: the mythical land of ohio

Did you collect anything as a child? at one point i collected the lion king trading cards

Do you collect anything now? nnnnnot really? trauma?

What random piece of office equipment do you have a weird attachment to? i tend to feel very strongly about my Good Scissors. keeping them in perfect condition is SO IMPORTANT to me. my children ignore my rules and take them and use them anyway and they slowly destroy the blades and the hinge and then i have to get a new pair and the cycle starts over 🥲

Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right arm: phone. left arm: coffee cup.

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? not crashed, no. one time back when i drove a little scion xD i was driving down a straight road through empty corn fields and it was really windy and it blew a bunch of brand new floofy powdery snow on the road in front of me and it like lifted my wheels from the road and i just kind of swerved around a bit until my car was sent sideways off into the field. my car was completely fine but it was very scary and i was quite lucky to have been sent sideways through an empty space because there were definitely big old phone poles along that whole road and if i had gone sideways a second earlier i would have deffo been wrapped around a phone pole.

You’ve been given $1000 but you can only spend it at one store. which store do you choose? im sorry to be very basic but i could just really stock up on so many helpful things for such a wide-variety of item genres if i could go spend 1k at Target lol

What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? usually if anything i'll draw them an art 😂

Whats your go-to flavor for cough drops? strawberry mint!

What does your latest text message from someone else say? "ok" wow, poetry from my husband. bless.

What are your preferred pizza toppings? best case scenario: good vegan cheese with black olives, green olives, mushrooms, bell peppers. yummmm.

tags below!! (also the ones above too tho😋)

play if you want or just know that you are a precious nugget @wehangout @michellemisfit @too-schoolforcool @mmmichyyy @crossmydna @thepupperino @gallapiech @spookygingerr @darlingian @stocious @catgrassplantdad @sleepyfacetoughguy @sleepyheadgallavich @blue-disco-lights @gardenerian @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @palepinkgoat @the-rat-wins @loftec @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @creepkinginc @softmick @callivich @sickness-health-all-that-shit @rereadanon @burninface @vintagelacerosette @spoonfulstar @captainjowl @iansw0rld @transmickey @salesmain @marianchurchland @sirrudo @ian-galagher @annarowyn @echotrees + anyone else who wants to play!!

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Halloween Head Swap

I was so psyched for Halloween this year because it was the first time I could spend it with my boyfriend, Julian. I'd never been a big horror guy myself, but he goes nuts for spooky thrills. I'd always wanted to go to one of those Halloween events, like haunted houses or corn mazes, and I thought being with Julian was a good enough reason to go. We were looking up events happening nearby on my laptop, and I thought I found a cool one.

"Let's see." Julian read the website.

"What's it say?"

"Haunted house. Ooo! Haunted corn mazes. Nice! Magic show. Magic show?"

"I love Magic shows!"

"I guess it could be a Halloween thing. Wouldn't be surprised if they just replaced the rabbit in a hat with something scary instead. Or maybe the assistant wears a ghost costume or something."

"But wait." I pointed at the bottom of the page. "It says absolutely no costumes are allowed. Aren't you supposed to wear a costume?"

"Yeah, for costume parties and trick-or-treating and stuff. But for things like this where they have paid actors and stuff in the haunted events, they don't want randos in costume, in order to keep up with the vibes."

"That makes sense." I noticed another part of the website that said "18+ only for the whole event."

"Ooooo," we both said in unison.

"That better mean they have strippers and vodka."

"Hell yeah!"

"Now where is this again?"

"Lemme see. Some place called Caneville." He looked up the town info. "Aw shit."

"What? Too far?"

"No, just a 30 min drive. But it's got such a tiny population that it's probably one of those hick towns. You know those places always give me the creeps. Like everyone seems to stare at you because you're an outsider."

"But don't you like creepy things? We can ignore the background of the town and enjoy the festivities." I kissed him.

"Hey, I guess. Sure. As long as you promise me one thing..." He placed his hand on my bulge which had now grown.

The 31st arrived, and so we got dressed and left at 3pm. The drive there was pretty normal, up until we reached the town. There was an unexpected amount of traffic leading into the town itself. As we continued along, we found that all the cars were headed to the festival.

"Woah, I didn't think it would be this packed!" Julian said excitedly.

"Me neither…it's weird though. Why would such a large number of people be coming to some small-town festival? It doesn't make sense."

"Dunno. Maybe they paid extra to get their event on the top of everyone's search results? I think you can do that."

"Maybe. Well, it better be good then."

Luckily, we found a parking spot in time, before too many people showed up. The place was pretty big and was decorated nicely for Halloween; jack-o-lanterns lined the fences, ghost shaped lights hung above us, and the grass was covered in hay. We noticed the sign advertising the magic show started at 5pm, so we checked out the other attractions first. Making our way through the crowds, it was somewhat obvious who was from this little town, and who drove here. There were people in all shapes and sizes, but a lot of the older people were wearing formal clothes and usually had grumpy looks on their faces - probably upset that there was so much diversity this year.

We were walking along, when we saw two punk guys, one with a red mohawk, and one with brown, searching around looking confused. Red mohawk made eye contact with me and approached.

"Hey, do you guys know where the free booze is?" He didn't even look old enough to drink but I didn't really care.

"Free booze? How come I didn't know about this?" Julian asked.

"What do you mean? It was in huge letters on the ad. Couldn't have missed it."

"I don't remember seeing anything like that though," I said. 

"Damn, nobody else seems to know either. Did I get some fake version of something? Everything else seems legit."

"That's weird yeah."

"Anyway, I'm Ian. Let me and my buddy know if you ever find the free booze. Fuck, I forgot I was gonna meet my boyfriend here too. Shit, well catch you later." He seemed like such a weird guy but hey, he's probably just 18 and desperate for a chance to drink.

5pm arrived and we headed to the magic show. As we expected, there was a pretty big crowd. I was so excited though, and it looked like everyone else was too. It started when a chubby guy in a tuxedo walked on stage.

"Friends and folks, welcome to The Great Guillermo magic show! I am the Great Guillermo!" He took a bow, and everyone applauded.

"Now for my first trick, I will make this sword float!" He took out a sword and set it on the floor. It began floating all the way up to his head when he did some hand motions. The crowd cheered once again. It was glowing blue as well, which was strange because he didn't announce anything like that.

"For my next trick, I will need one volunteer from the audience." The crowd seemed hesitant, most likely because the idea of a sword related trick would make some queasy. Luckily, after a bit, a guy around my age raised his hand and stepped onto the stage.

"All right! What is your name, young man?"

"Tyler."

"Ok Tyler! For your part, stand in that spot real good and don't move!"

"Oh ok." He did a bit of a nervous laugh. The Great Guillermo took the sword and aimed it at his own neck. What in the world was he doing? It started glowing blue once again and went through his neck! The audience gasped. I knew it was all a trick, but I expected blood or something. Instead, what happened was unbelievable. His head hopped right off his body! Completely still alive, it fell to the floor and the body took a bow. The crowd went wild.

"Holy shit man, that was so cool! How’d he do that?" Julian turned to look at me.

"I have no idea!"

Normally with tricks like this he would go back to normal to start the next trick, but he was still a head and began talking again.

"Now this is only the first part of my trick. Here comes the part where my volunteer must help." His body, still moving on its own, took the sword and aimed it at Tyler's neck. When that blue glow returned, The Great Guillermo's head hopped over to the left of Tyler. In an instant the sword sliced Tyler's head off, just like it did before. Though, instead of hopping off and hitting the floor, it seemed to fly off in the direction of The Great Guillermo's body, as if it was a magnet. When it got to the neck, it plopped itself on top, replacing The Great Guillermo's head.

Tyler's head on The Great Guillermo's body was a funny sight, seeing a skinny and young-looking guy with such a large body. He began moving and reacting, as if Tyler was actually controlling it. Tyler's head looked down and widened his eyes at the sight.

"Woooahh, this is trippy!" The Great Guillermo's head did the same and flew onto the empty body like a magnet. The audience began laughing when they saw the full image. They just swapped their heads!

"This is even crazier; how did they do that? Man, I gotta know now!" Julian was getting so excited now. It made me so happy to see him in a good mood. Tyler, on his new chubby body, realized he could move his legs and started walking around.

"Oh wow, I can move? This is weird." It looked so real. But it must be fake right? I know a lot of times magic shows pretend to pick out a random audience member, but really it was all planned from the start. The mood changed a bit when Tyler started becoming restless.

"Hey, uh could I have my body back now? This is actually feeling kinda uncomfortable."

"Of course, my boy! Right after you learn your lesson!" 

"Lesson?" My gut told me that this was no longer part of the act.

"The lesson of hard work of course! I may have been a little overweight, but it's not impossible to work it all off! And when you do, it should be just like your former one! Well…maybe a bit older! In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying your nice slim body!" The Great Guillermo seemed like a completely different person at this point and began laughing maniacally.

"What? Hey this isn't funny anymore! What's your problem?!"

"Oh, don't worry, Tyler. You won't be alone. In fact," He looked at the audience with a gleam in his eye. "Everyone else will be starting their own unique journeys!" He quickly grabbed the sword and pointed it at the audience. They all screamed when not only did it start the blue glow, but it began multiplying as well! Sword after sword came out of the original; there must've been hundreds! It seemed like we all knew what was about to happen next, because the crowd turned around and ran. Julian was by my side…at least at first. Soon enough the stampede plowed through us, desperate to escape, and we were separated.

"Julian! Meet me at the car!" I screamed, not sure if he heard me or not. I ran away from the stage area, dodging unfortunate heads flying everywhere. The Great Guillermo began laughing again.

"Now everyone will learn the true value of hard work! Whether you want to change your new body or not, adapting to your new life is the fun part!"

When I got to the parking areas, I was shocked at the horrible sight. There were people with the same idea as me hiding in cars…only the blue swords were able to pass right through them to slice their heads. It didn't stop there because the decapitated heads seemed to be in an ethereal state, where they could also go through the walls. That bastard magician. He planned all this! I'm screwed! While I was in shock, I could feel something hit me in the neck. It didn't hurt at all, but I felt dizzy. I watched as the world went in a loop, and then back to normal. I could see myself flying through the air, but when I looked down, there was nothing. No body. I could still feel my hands and the rest of my body, but I was far enough away that I couldn't check to see if it was moving.

I couldn't change the direction I was heading in, but I could lean a little to the left or right. I'm guessing I was homing in on the nearest headless body, so I wondered if I could direct myself away from a bad one? I saw a headless body in front of me, so I jerked to the left and managed to dodge it…for a few seconds. It turned out there was a body on the other side of the fence I was on, so I flew right through it and attached myself to the neck.

I looked down and almost screamed. It was a fat body wearing a light blue dress shirt, with a tie and suspenders. I would imagine I was also wearing dress pants to go along with it, but I couldn't see past my huge belly! My waist size must’ve been double what it was before! Judging by the clothes, this probably belonged to a man that lived in the town.

I pushed my hand against the belly and felt it jiggle, sending vibrations throughout the rest of my flesh. I'm glad I wasn't a floating head anymore but I'm not too happy about being a fat guy either! I must’ve looked like Tyler did with his twink head on an obese frame. Luckily, there was a public restroom nearby, so I walked in and locked the door. I was scared to see myself in the mirror, but knew it had to do it, so I shuffled over to see my reflection.

Oh god, I was massive. It really did look strange, almost funny in a way. Normally when you gain this much weight, you also gain a double chin. But my chin and head were exactly how they always were. But yet, my body was huge. At least I wasn’t wearing some trashy looking clothes or something. Formal wear was nice, even though it felt tight on me. How do guys like this go shopping? I must’ve been wearing 5XL clothes! The curious thought of seeing what it looked like underneath crossed my mind. I guess it was going to have to be done eventually…and my chest felt like it was being crushed under the shirt I was wearing. I started by unclipping the suspenders. The front two were easy, but the back two I had to guide my hands around my oversized ass in order to make out where they were. Then I lifted my collar to take off the tie and unbuttoned the first two shirt buttons. I expected to be wearing an undershirt, since I felt so compressed, but no. The dress shirt was all it took to feel cramped. I reached for the bottom of my shirt that was tucked in and pulled up. When it was fully untucked, the belly promptly fell back down, slapped my thighs, and jiggled for a few seconds. Once it was all unbuttoned, I opened up the shirt and took it off.

Fuck. I wasn’t just big; I was morbidly obese. My man tits stuck out, love handles hung all around, and the loose skin left a crevice that covered my belly button. I really hated this. What’s Julian going to think? He might break up with me. No one would ever want to date a lardass like me. I put the shirt on, lifted up my belly in order to tuck it all back in, and walked out the door. I didn’t bother putting the tie and suspenders on again. I didn’t even need the suspenders anyway because my pants were tight enough over my big hips.

I started walking back to the festival area in order to find a clue to where Julian went. There were still blue swords flying around, but they ignored me completely. I guess they don’t go after those who had already been head swapped. Walking felt really weird because it was more like a waddle. Every step felt like I was causing an earthquake, which made it worse considering I couldn't even see my own feet! Not to mention I was sweating like a pig, even though I hadn't been walking long. I could feel the sweat stains forming in my armpits and since I had no undershirt on, it was probably obvious. I heard a familiar voice, so I turned around and noticed a familiar red mohawk. It was Ian! He was much chubbier than when I saw him before. He was talking with another guy, who lifted his t-shirt up to touch his belly.

"This is like a fuckin dream come true! Look at this gut!" Ian seemed excited to gain weight. Was that guy his boyfriend or something?

"We gotta hope that this body is good at staying big though! I want you to be my chubby bunny!" He said, flashing a grin. As I approached them, they stared for a second, but then smiled really wide. 

"Hey! Wait. You're that guy I met before. Remember? But you're like, so fuckin obese now!"

"Yeah…"

"That's awesome man!"

"Not really, I was fine being a twink before."

"Yeah man, but now you're a fuckin beast! You could like murder someone just by squashing them."

"I'll keep that in mind in case I need to murder someone," I said sarcastically.

"So, wait, where's your boyfriend?"

"No clue. I'm looking for him."

"Well good luck man. And hey, being big isn't all that bad you know."

"Yeah, maybe."

I got to the festival area to find a couple people still frequenting, but it was obvious they were head swapped. I suppose I was lucky mine ended up matching my skin color. At least the weird young head and old body combination isn't impossible naturally.

I noticed a shed area with a hastily made sign that said, "pick up your phones here." That was a good idea actually. Afterall, most people would've had their phones in the pockets of their old bodies. Maybe if Julian already found his, I can text him. Luckily, I skipped a step because I found him searching through the pile of phones inside. His body didn't look too different, at least from the sides.

"Julian!"

"Petey! You're…wow." 

"I know…this is going to take some getting used to."

"Hey no biggie. You're still you. You have your head at least. You're just a big guy now."

"Yeah, it's weird. Do you think there's any way to change back?"

"Don't think so. When I went back to the stage, the magician guy wasn't there. Fitting. Guess he just wanted chaos and well, he got it."

"Can't believe I'm stuck like this. But at least you don't look too different, maybe a bit bigger and older."

"Oh no, I've changed a lot actually. Here." He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a flabby old man's chest.”

"Oh."

"I know right. Looks like I took the body of an old guy."

"Does it feel weird?"

"Yeah kinda. A little uncomfortable. I really just need to take off these clothes. I can feel my underwear being pulled up way too high!" I laughed. I'm glad Julian was still finding ways to make light out of a bad situation. "My back does kinda hurt though. But it's ok! We'll just work out and all like normal. Plenty of old guys are in shape!"

“Makes me so mad though. Those old guys that got our bodies are probably enjoying their nice abs right now.”

“Well, in your case, he’s in for a surprise when he sees how loose you are in the back…” I started laughing again.

“You got that right! He was probably straight, so it’ll be quite the shock. But I guess this means I’ll have to start loosening up all over again.” I touched my huge ass. “I guess I’ll have to work out too. I have a long way to go.”

"Oor…you could stay like you are. At least for now. Didn't wanna say it before but I'm totally finding you hot right now. Never fucked a fat guy before."

"Really? You like this?"

"Yep! Hey, it's still Halloween, so how about we go home, and I can feed you some candy or something." The thought of Julian feeding me was making me hard for some reason. Why do I feel like I want to stay this big? It's crazy! But I was so hungry, so I agreed.

"That sounds…pretty hot actually. Sure." Julian smirked.

"Happy Halloween my big boy." He slapped my gut.

"Happy Halloween…"

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

👻🎃💀Weekly Tag Wednesday💀🎃👻

Thanks for the tag @gallapiech and @mybrainismelted

Name: Gigi 🧛‍♀️

Your... uhm.. ScAaAary age: Has anyone else seen that clip of Greta Gerwig talking about how 27 feels like the age where being a lost twenty something stops being charming and fun? Like not being sure or settled in your career and having messy relationships starts being concerning? Yeah, I'm 25 but 27 is my scary age

🎥🔪🩸 Do you like scary movies? I used to hate them except a select few, ut my friend has been doing a horror move club every Wednesday in October and I've found a new appreciation - I think the big thing has to be that there can only be practical effects for the most part.

If so, what's your favorite scary movie? The original Suspiria

If you were trapped in a slasher film, would you survive? if not; how & when would you die? I like horror movies that have a cult element, so I think I would survive but get sucked into the cult (think Midsomar or Rosemary's Baby)

Now that we got the scary questions out of the way. Let's get a little more light hearted! 💕

What is your greatest fear? Flying

What is your favorite supernatural creature? I love vampires they're so sexy, I love the inherent queerness and symbolism of desire that's reliant but also predatory

Ever had a paranormal encounter? Nope!

In a high stress situation; do you fight or are you more of a flight person? Flight? I guess? If I can't out run someone going running everyday was kind of a waste

What is your favorite part about Halloween? The costume and theater of it all

Thank you for entertaining me 🥰You may live for another day.

Bonus question What is your credit card number? count to pi

Tags are 6 feet under! 🪦

 @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @jrooc @lingy910y

@creepkinginc @gallawitchxx @catgrassplantdad @blue-disco-lights

@atthedugouts @stocious @burninface @ian-galagher

@heymrspatel @solitarycreaturesthey @thepupperino @mickeym4ndy

@doshiart @em-harlsnow @softmick @francesrose3 @energievie

[aen-hen-ichaer]

just saw romulus im so so normal about it NO IM NOT. GOD IM NOT IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE GAAAUUGH

my thoughts + spoilers under the cut :3

• giger would be so proud of this film. so yonic. so phallic. my god. Every vagina shaped thing gave way to the most sinister form of life. Every penis shaped thing was violently penetrating. Super duper leans into the original underlying themes of SA. got under my skin like crazy

• this film combined all my favourite elements of alien (slow burn immersive horror), aliens (great action) and resurrection (human/xeno hybrid) I literally cannot fault it at all

•the offspring (babymorph as me and my bf dubbed it) BAD BAD SO BAD THROWING UP IN MY MOUTH I was legit shaking and had tears in my eyes I have never been so close to screaming in a cinema. 1000/10 creature design. I knew something horrific and fucked up was gonna happen after the pregnancy reveal but JESUS

• Andy's actor was AMAZZINNNGG. The way he played "regular" Andy vs "evil fuckass weyland-yutani synth" was seamless and perfect and he was my fav character

• Ian Holm's cameo felt...... weird. I generally don't like dead actors being reanimated in cgi anyway even with the consent of the family yadda yadda but... blegh. The cgi felt a little dodgy on his face as well but tbh the glitchy jilted nature of it really added to him being a damaged synth LOL

• references were v cute. might be ott to some but I liked it

•PRACTICAL EFFECTS MY BELOVED. BIG SCARY ASS PUPPETS MY BELOVED. GOO AND SLIME MY BELOVED

• the whole birth scene shook me to my coooorrree. As someone who wants to be pregnant and give birth nothing has gotten so under my skin like that before. The ides of doing your best to nurture what will be your child only for this fucking horror to come out of you.... oh my god......... AND LACTATING THE GOO?? ARE YOU FR????????

• mostly smart characters in this movie which I appreciate! the whole zero g acid blood vortex scene was very funsies

• great score. Calls back to the original but not too much

• PERFECT set design. Felt like watching alien isolation as a movie

• I love that they went back to a more analog clicky buttons/flicky switches aesthetic, the holograms and touchscreens of prometheus and covenant never felt right

• the black goo as an almost intelligent substance is so so fun. It "speeds up evolution" but it's smart enough not to destroy its host outright. The offspring was gestated in an egg sac containing fucking acid BUT it didn't hurt kay (until she birthed it and it no longer needed her)

• also the offspring not growing its xeno tail until it consumed the last of the goo from kay? Very nice touch

• JUST. PREGNANCY AS A GROUNDWORK FOR HORROR. SO UNDERUTILISED. SO EFFECTIVE.

• this films chest burster scene... dare I say....scarier than the original. Watching her ribs crack with the xray machine.... YUCKY

• me and my bf has settled to calling the black goo Promethean Fire. This isn't part of the review I just like that hehe

• when I heard the name Romulus I mentioned to my bf about Romulus and Remus being raised by wolves and I was like "what if this is the start of the crossbreeds like in resurrection?" AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

•Sound design was excellent, the thumping huge heavy footprints of the xeno felt sososososososo good with the cinema surround sound auugghhg

ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE. If u wanna share any thoughts pls do in insane about this :)

[sheisaquarius-blog]

Hi! Idk if this is related to your Love Like Magic AU but if you could assign each character a familiar, what animal or magical creature would you assign for each one of them?

oh man, i LOVE this question! so, in the 'love like magic' au, most of the familiars are not-too-out-of-the-ordinary pets/animals, but i'm going to take a few liberties with this ask for fun. obviously spork, freya and zelda, and bones and birdie all make little cameos in that fic, and i also gave ianthony bowie, but i want to go a little more magical with this question! hope you don't mind. everyone's familiars look something like this to me:

ian: a canine of some kind, for sure. maybe a wolf or coyote? fiercely loyal and a little rough (ruff) around the edges.

anthony: a crow. yes, part of that is based off the wwad video, but i've always loved the idea of his magic being dark but feather-soft. also wise, piercing eyes.

damien: gotta give damien the other spooky flying creature--he gets a bat. maybe a dagger-toothed long-nosed fruit bat? just love the difference between the 'scary' perception of bats and the reality. plus, i tied damien's magic so closely with the moon and night that it had to be nocturnal.

shayne: an owl, perhaps? wise and a little fearsome. intense. broad and also loud. maybe a little nocturnal for his sun-related magic, so maybe second best would be a golden eagle. but i do love an owl for him.

courtney: courtney gives such strong horse energy. i'm partial to an akhal-teke for this particular take because of the mark i gave her. these horses have an iridescent sort of sheen to them, so i like that for her.

angela: hyena. scrappy and resourceful. an incredible laugh. dog version of a cat.

arasha: a fox. red, clever, lanky, cunning, and elegant. cat version of a dog.

trevor: some kind of fresh water turtle. the boy is 80% neck, 20% vibes. enjoys his own pace. (also he works with chanse and i love the idea of chanse's favorite animal being trevor's familiar)

chanse: spotted leopard. gorgeous, elegant, biblically accurate eyes. something in the big cat family at the very least, preferably something lithe. gotta jump that car.

spencer: a frog. i don't know if i have a good justification for this one, it's just vibes. cute and i want to hold him in my hand.

tommy: i have to give credit to @lilac-hecox for this one because i was struggling, but maybe a cuttlefish? aquatics are hard, but a) comes with its own mustache, and b) i like it as a pairing to spencer's frog. they have an incredible ability to blend and camouflage, which i love for tommy, too.

amanda: like her co-owner she also gives me horse energy. maybe a friesian? i like the idea of her and courtney both having horses. friesians are maybe the most gorgeous, and also they're good at many things, including drafting. and goodness knows amanda carried 'love like magic' on her back despite not getting the justice she deserved from me.

[heyho-simonrussellbeale]

Having played parts from Prospero to Stalin, Hamlet and now the poet AE Housman, Simon Russell Beale is convinced he has one of the best jobs in the world. Why? Every new role offers a new area for intellectual investigation, not least when he gets to take on the logical arguments and ‘linguistic fireworks’ of one of his friend Tom Stoppard’s plays, he tells Fergus Morgan

You cannot complete acting – but if you could, Simon Russell Beale would be coming close. Over a three-decade career, he has taken on dozens of classic roles in canonical plays: Konstantin in The Seagull, Ferdinand in The Duchess of Malfi, Oswald in Ghosts, Lopakhin in The Cherry Orchard, Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, the title characters of Edward II, John Gabriel Borkman and Uncle Vanya, and loads more.

And, when it comes to Shakespeare, there are few parts the 63-year-old has not played. Hamlet? Tick. King Lear? Tick. Macbeth? Tick. Richard II and Richard III? Tick, tick. Benedick, Iago, Malvolio, Leontes? Tick, tick, tick, tick. Falstaff and Prospero? Tick, tick.

With a theatrical résumé as comprehensive as that, where does Russell Beale go next? In a recent interview with the Telegraph to mark the release of A Piece of Work, the memoir he “slightly sheepishly” wrote, the actor said he would be keen on playing Cleopatra. Why not? It would not be his first foray into gender-swapped Shakespeare: he played both Hippolyta in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Desdemona in Othello as a schoolboy.

“Unfortunately, I wasn’t being serious,” Russell Beale says. “I was being facetious, although I did see Mark Rylance do it 20 years ago and it was sensational. It is one of the great parts, but I don’t think that would work. It would probably be too scary for the audience.

“I would love to do Falstaff on stage as I’ve only done that on film,” he continues. “I would like to do another King Lear. I wasn’t particularly happy with my Macbeth, so I’d quite like to do that again one day. I’m getting a bit old now, though, so it has become slightly difficult. Perhaps one day I should try my hand at directing. I don’t know, really.”

Before he has a go at directing, or revisits Lear, or has a stab at Cleopatra, Russell Beale will be playing poet AE Housman in Blanche McIntyre’s revival of Tom Stoppard’s The Invention of Love at Hampstead Theatre in north London. Our interview is taking place via Zoom, with Russell Beale – black jumper, big beard – sat in an office somewhere inside the Swiss Cottage venue.

“There’s a very good novel here about Booth, the man who assassinated Lincoln,” Russell Beale remarks, browsing the bookshelves in front of him. “Anyway, nice to meet you.”

Russell Beale’s pre-interview bookshelf inspection confirms what he subsequently says about his character, about his approach to playing parts and about his professional motivations. He is, first and foremost, driven by an insatiable intellectual curiosity. He once described acting as “three-dimensional literary criticism”.

“I have one of the best jobs in the world, really,” he says. “Every single project potentially offers a new area of study. I know that sounds sort of dry, but if someone says: ‘I’d like you to do a play about a poet in the late 19th century who also happened to be the greatest classical scholar of his time,’ I think: ‘Wow.’ And, for a very short period of time, I get to become a bit of an expert on AE Housman.

“Or take Samuel Foote,” he continues, referencing the 18th-century actor and title character of Ian Kelly’s play Mr Foote’s Other Leg, which he played at Hampstead in 2015. “Doctor Johnson called Foote the most famous man in England, but I’d never heard of him. Now I could tell you all about him – where he lived, how he was arrested for sodomy and the legal case that followed. That sort of intellectual buzz is, I think, the most interesting thing of all about acting.”

Different jobs have different intellectual appeals, says Russell Beale. Some plays are stimulating for their historical subject matter. Shakespearean work is all about “digging around in this incredibly complicated, malleable script to find the emotional life of a character”. Other projects are attractive on a conceptual level, he says, like Joe Hill-Gibbins’ drastically cut, fast-forwarded staging of Richard II at London’s Almeida Theatre in 2018.

“I was far too old to play Richard II,” Russell Beale says. “I’d sort of assumed that was one part I would never do. Then along came this director who wanted to do it in a completely different way. It was incredibly cut down. It was staged straight-through with all the other characters milling around on stage. That was the challenge there.”

From screen to Stoppard

Where, then, does Russell Beale’s work in film and television fit in, beyond boosting his bank balance? His screen CV is not as formidable as his theatrical résumé, but it still encompasses Armando Iannucci’s comedy The Death of Stalin, the latest series of HBO’s blockbuster House of the Dragon, and the forthcoming Downton Abbey film.

“I suppose I just do that for fun, although I do have an interest in how those projects work,” Russell Beale says. “Take House of the Dragon. I remember wondering how they physically achieve a show like that. That was intriguing to me. I thought: ‘How the hell do you do a great big castle in a thunderstorm?’ It was this huge set with water literally cascading down the walls. The sheer skill was extraordinary. That was fascinating.”

If any writer could satisfy Russell Beale’s voracious intellectual appetite, it is Stoppard, whose plays frequently dazzle with their virtuosic use of history and intertextuality. Think of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, his existential 1966 riff on Hamlet that echoes Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. Or 1972’s metaphysical murder-mystery Jumpers, perhaps the most philosophically and athletically gymnastic play ever written.

Those Stoppard plays are the only two that Russell Beale has performed in until now. He played Guildenstern at the National Theatre in 1995, having previously performed in the play as a teenager, then took on the lead role in Jumpers – the philosopher George Moore – at the same venue in 2003. That production transferred to New York, and provided Russell Beale’s Broadway debut. The New York Times critic Ben Brantley hailed a “dazzling” performance of “sharp inventiveness and peerless emotional depth”.

“I’ve only done two Stoppard plays, but I’ve always been quite fierce in defending him against accusations of being over-intellectualised,” Russell Beale says. “Stoppard is intellectual, of course. He plays intellectual games. But what Stoppard always comes down to is people feeling passionate about something, usually another person. That, I think, is fundamentally the most important thing about his writing.

“Rosencrantz and Guildenstern is about two men who are lost in a world they don’t understand,” he continues. “Jumpers is about trying to cling on to a broken marriage. I saw The Real Thing recently at the Old Vic, which I saw with the great Stephen Dillane a couple of decades ago. That play is more directly about love than anything else.”

Playing with words

The Invention of Love, which premiered at the National in 1997, begins in the afterlife. Housman, dead at 77 in 1936, stands on the bank of the mythical river Styx, preparing to board a ferry. The play then unfolds through Housman’s memories of his time studying classics at the University of Oxford, with the older Housman – played by Russell Beale – interacting with his younger self, played by Matthew Tennyson. At the heart of its fizzing academic ideas is Housman’s unrequited love for fellow scholar Moses Jackson.

“The play is very complicated,” says Russell Beale. “This morning, we were rehearsing this very elaborate scene with all these 19th-century academics playing croquet. Stoppard ties in so many references to Victorian cultural icons like Jerome K Jerome and Henry Liddell and Lewis Carroll, too. Everyone has these great arias about philosophy and art.

“Underneath that, though, it is about an old man remembering his love for another man,” Russell Beale continues. “It is about a particular event in their lives, a rowing trip on the river when they were both at Oxford. It is about memory. It is about what you do with a love like that. It is about what a love like that means at the end of your life.”

The “incredible enjoyable” challenge of performing the play, says Russell Beale, is really getting to grips with its intellectual complexities and “linguistic fireworks” – as is the case with most Stoppard plays. If you can master the tongue-twisting dialogue and head-scratching arguments, he says, then the profoundly emotional core of the drama will come.

“Years ago, I remember the actor John Wood, who was one of the great language magicians, talking about Bernard Shaw,” Russell Beale says. “Now, I don’t particularly like Bernard Shaw, but Wood said that if you observe all the punctuations that Bernard Shaw set down as indications of when to breathe and so on, he does the work for you. “It is sort of like that with Stoppard,” Russell Beale continues.

“It is like a technical exercise. You have to end the sentence when it ends and make sure you give yourself gaps to breathe. And then it is about the clarity of the argument. The play does explore emotion. The word ‘love’ is in the title, after all. But performing it is not an emotional thing. It is more about a series of arguments. If you can get the grammatical, syntactical construction of the sentences, and then the actual logic of the argument, then you are on your way.”

It helps, says Russell Beale, that director McIntyre read classics at Oxford herself.

“My God, she does know what she is talking about,” he says. “I have no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to Latin or Greek, but she does have that string to her bow.”

The admiration is mutual. Via email, McIntyre says that she finds Russell Beale “extraordinary”.

“I think he is our greatest living Stoppardian actor,” she writes. “The wit and depth of feeling he brings to the character are breathtaking. It’s a privilege to watch him work.”

It helps, too, that Russell Beale is friends with Stoppard, who turned 87 this year. In fact, he adds, he received a first-hand insight into the playwright’s process of putting The Invention of Love together nearly 30 years ago when performing at the National. “I met Tom, I think, when we did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern,” Russell Beale says. “My memory is that he was writing, or thinking about writing, The Invention of Love at the time, because I remember he gave me a lift home once because he was driving in the same direction, and he started talking about Oscar Wilde and Housman on the way.

“I’ve known Tom for years now,” Russell Beale adds. “He was in last week, actually. He was on great form. He likes revisiting his plays, I think. He reads the script very intently, as if he is rediscovering it. It is rather lovely to see him do that. It’s quite moving, actually.”

Russell Beale was born in Penang in what was then Malaya – now Malaysia – in January 1961, one of six children of military physician Peter Beale, who would later become the British Army’s surgeon general, and his wife Julia, who was also a doctor. He was sent to boarding school, first at St Paul’s Cathedral School, where he was a chorister, then at Bristol’s Clifton College.

It was there that Russell Beale first discovered his love for performance, both theatrical and musical – he is an accomplished pianist, oboist and singer, and frequently presents radio and television shows about classical music. He has often credited a stern English teacher called Brian Worthington with instilling in him that respect for intellectual rigour and academic curiosity.

He went on to study English at the University of Cambridge, where he threw himself into student drama and made friends with Tilda Swinton, then trained at Guildhall, initially as a singer before switching to acting, graduating in 1983.

He started his professional career at Edinburgh’s Traverse Theatre, but his big break came two years later with a role in Women Beware Women at London’s Royal Court, alongside a young Gary Oldman. It was not until 1991, however, five years into his long relationship with the Royal Shakespeare Company, that Russell Beale felt like he could fully express himself on stage, when he was cast as Konstantin in a production of Chekhov’s The Seagull staged by the company’s director Terry Hands.

“Until then, I’d done a lot of comic parts,” Russell Beale says. “That was the first time somebody said: ‘No, you can do something serious. You can play someone with an emotional life that is serious.’ Terry did it deliberately, I think. He thought: ‘Here’s this guy who is being typecast and I’m going to cast him against type.’ And that changed my life. It led to people suggesting I do Hamlet and other stuff. I am enormously grateful to him.”

It was Hands, too, who forged one of the great collaborations of Russell Beale’s career, with director Sam Mendes. The pair first worked together at the RSC in the 1990s on productions of Troilus and Cressida, Richard III and The Tempest, then at the National Theatre on Othello in 1997 and, at the Donmar Warehouse, King Lear in 2014 and Twelfth Night in 2002, as well as on the globe-trotting production of The Lehman Trilogy in 2019.

“Sam and I have been doing stuff together for 30 years and it was Terry that put us together,” Russell Beale says. “Sam actually called me when Terry died in 2020. I was in the dressing room for The Lehman Trilogy in New York. He was very emotional. He told me Terry had died and that he was the one who had originally put us together. Terry was the one who said to Sam: ‘I think you’d like that actor over there.’”

There is an alternate reality in which Hands never cast Russell Beale as Konstantin in The Seagull and Russell Beale continued working as a comic actor. He would no doubt have been successful – witness his hilarious turn as spymaster Lavrenti Beria in The Death of Stalin – but he would not have plumbed the remarkable depths he has in this world.

What makes him stand out as an actor – and what has earned him countless accolades, including three Olivier awards, two BAFTAs, a Tony and a knighthood – is his ability to incarnate familiar characters in unexpected ways. He has played the majority of the most famous roles in the classical canon, but his interpretations are always invested with a distinct air of isolation or awkwardness. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that he has frequently approached those roles at an unconventional age.

“In retrospect, my career sort of looks like this marvellous plan, but it wasn’t,” he says. “It was all an accident. I’ve done all the parts at the wrong age. I was a very old Hamlet and a very old Benedick, and a very young Richard III and a very old Richard III.”

Empathy with outsiders

Nicholas Hytner, another director with whom Russell Beale has a long relationship, having starred in his stagings of The Alchemist, Much Ado About Nothing and Collaborators at the National Theatre in 2006, 2007 and 2011 respectively, and, more recently his versions of A Christmas Carol and John Gabriel Borkman at the Bridge Theatre in 2020 and 2022, has said of Russell Beale: “He has extraordinary empathy with outsiders, the wounded, the foolish, the warped and the lonely. He hears their music and can sing it.”

“What did he say?” asks Russell Beale. “I’ve not heard that before. That is the most beautiful, lovely thing to say. And yes, I’m always excited by those characters. The most interesting parts are those that are looking in from the outside or confused about their position. I don’t know what that says about me. I’ve never interrogated it. I refuse to.” 

If Russell Beale does not interrogate his own interest in playing isolated, uncomfortable characters on stage, does he ever interrogate theatre’s wider role in society? “That’s a very interesting question,” he says. “I suppose it is always in the back of your mind. Perhaps theatre is a bit of a sideshow now, although Wicked has just been turned into a film, for God’s sake. The biggest movie of the year started as a theatre show. Perhaps theatre only has a relevance when it is adapted into a medium now.

“No, I don’t think that, actually,” he adds. “That implies it is all about numbers, that something is only important if a lot of people see it. I don’t believe that. I still believe theatre has weight and relevance. I suppose I would fall back on the Tom Stoppard argument in The Invention of Love: ‘There is no little too little to be worth having.’”

[gallapiech]

Weekly Tag Wednesday!

what a week, huh? captain, it's wednesday. Thank you for the tags @deedala @burninface @spookygingerr @creepkinginc

name: Actually... I'm Santa.

age: Mr. Klim + 1

astrological sign: 🐏

upon which continent do you reside: Europe

tell us how you're feeling right now using 3-5 emojis: 😐😵‍💫🎉🥱

whats your favorite flavor of gum? I don't have a fav flavor tbh

whats the last movie you watched? D.e.b.s, pretty gay i'd say.

what was your worst subject in high school? Geography or French...

whats the job you stayed at for the shortest period of time? Worked at a packaging business for 2 weeks LMAO

whats your favorite thing to do at an amusement park? I loooove rollecoasters! I love the big scary ones!!! Rode some pretty crazy ones when I visited Spain a couple of years ago!

what condiments go on top of the perfect hot dog (meat or plant-based)? I have never had a hot dog in my life.

cincinnati chili, thoughts? just googled, sure is a lot of cheese.

do you sleep with a plushie? I doooon't, but I got a bunch of plushes on my desks n stuff. So they just watch me instead.

how do you feel about thunderstorms? I do enjoy the white noise of it all, but I always get a little scared that the power will go out or something 🤣

what's the last animal you touched? My dog :)

grab the nearest item with words on it that ISNT a book and tell me the final word: "Canada" It was on a label of a plushie, that's where it was designed.

have you ever forgotten to do an assignment until the night before its due? of course. 💀

@transmurderbug @transmickey @jrooc @jfragfan @sevvycubed

@lee-ow @ian-galagher @roryonic @spacerockwriting @doshiart

@deathclassic @michellemisfit & everyone else who i'm forgetting right now </3 if you've already done it ermmmmm oopsies!

[c-cups-bitch-u-wish]

"Are you asking me on a date?" Mickey asks, just to be clear.

Ian smacks a kiss to his forehead. "Yes. Boyfriends go on dates."

"Not us," Mickey argues, but it's light. He wants to go. It feels really, really big to him. Ian wants to bring him somewhere, publicly, signaling to the world that they belong together. That they love each other. That they want to do all the fun things together too, not just all the big and scary life-changing things.

(Ian and Mickey go on their first real date!)

[glassprism]

I don't know if you've answered this question before, but do you have favorite Phantom/Christine pairings?

I have answered it before, but not too recently, so maybe it's time to make a big ole updated masterpost of all my favorites as of now!

Keep in mind that if a name isn't on here, it doesn't mean they're not a favorite or whatever, it might just mean I never saw them with a Phantom or Christine I particularly liked (e.g. Gina Beck is an all-time favorite but she's not on here because I never really saw her opposite a Phantom I also really enjoyed) or I preferred a slightly different pairing (e.g. I really liked Franc D'Ambrosio with Lisa Vroman but I slightly preferred the latter with Brad Little). And there may be one or two where I could not decide at all (e.g. do I prefer Kelly Mathieson with David Thaxton or Josh Piterman? I can't tell!). Anyway, here they are:

Michael Crawford/Sarah Brightman - The OG cast. It can't be helped, they both had such unique takes on the role and it makes them one of the most memorable pairings for me.

Dave Willetts/Jan Hartley Morris - His rougher take on the mold that Crawford left vs. Jan Hartley Morris's old-school, classical Christine is a winner.

Mikael Samuelson/Elisabeth Berg - I love Samuelson's slightly harsher vocals compared to Berg's operatic tones.

Alexander Goebel/Luzia Nistler - Goebel is eerie, ghostly, and unhinged at the end; Nistler has a lovely classical voice and a scared, slightly naive take on her Christine. It fits well.

Davis Gaines/Tracy Shayne - Gaines is commanding, sensual, elegant; Shayne is innocent but with a touch of maturity that brings a certain uniqueness to the role.

Saulo Vasconcelos/Irasema Terrazas - Hands! I think both were allowed a lot of freedom in the role and it's great.

Hans Peter Janssens/Ineke van Klinken - Janssens is both very nuts and very sad while van Klinken is a reserved yet steely-willed Christine who is more than a match for him.

Ian Jon Bourg/Alison Kelly - Bourg is good with so many Christines, but I loved Alison Kelly's feistiness.

Michael Nicholson/Olivia Safe - Just a fascinating pairing, and they were both understudies!

Yoon Young Seok/Hye Kyoung Lee - It didn't matter that both were speaking Korean, they were so emotional that I felt like I understood every aspect of their performance.

Brad Little/Lisa Vroman - Kind of mentioned above, but I love how well these two act together.

Hugh Panaro/Julie Hanson - Hugh Panaro is a sarcastic jokester of a man and it makes you really feel for Julie Hanson's child-like Christine at the end of the show.

Gary Mauer/Elizabeth Southard - A real-life married E/C couple brings all the chemistry!

Earl Carpenter/Rachel Barrell - Barrell is also really good with JOJ, and more spirited around him, but I love Earl Carpenter more.

John Cudia/Jennifer Hope Wills - Oh the sparks these two brought to the role! Cudia was scary and dominating but JHW was absolutely able to hold her own against him.

Simon Pryce/Julie Goodwin - The voices of these two!

Marcus Lovett/Anna O'Byrne - Leroux-accuracy heaven.

Jeremy Stolle/Samantha Hill - Again, I've seen these two give fantastic performances with multiple performers, but I really do love what they bring to the show together.

Tomas Ambt Kofod/Sibylle Glosted - Very detailed, nuanced performances in a production that was full of it.

Jonathan Roxmouth/Meghan Picerno - There was fire between these two! Roxmouth was intent on bending Christine to his will but Picerno was so fiercely independent that you knew he could never succeed.

Jeon Dong Seok/Son Ji-soo - JDS is a swoon-worthy Phantom while SJS brought lovely expressions to the role.

And I'm sure there are many others...

[burnwater13]

Concept art by Ryan Church depicting the Mandalorian being attacked by giant ice spiders on Maldo Kreis, with the Razor Crest leaning away from them from the damage it took during its hard landing. Image from The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 2, The Passenger.

Din Djarin sighed. He had promised Grogu that if he did all of chores without being nagged and worked on his Mando’a and ate at least one serving of vegetables, they would have a Diggle and Daggle marathon the following day. No chores. No work. Just fun and only the foods they liked. Oh, and as many Diggle and Daggle episodes as Grogu wanted to watch. Uff. That had been the problem. Djarin had forgotten how many episodes of that show Grogu was capable of watching in row. 

When he was with the Children of the Watch and being taught the Mandalorian Creed and The Way and all of the other things Mandalorians were compelled to learn, he recalled that one instructor said that the Creed had no limitations. It had infinite applicability to Mandalorian daily life. Then the instructor had commented that there really wasn’t a good way to appreciate the intent and meaning of the word ‘infinite’. It was just too large. 

But after watching the first twelve hours of Diggle and Daggle episodes, Djarin thought he had a pretty good appreciation for infinite. He assumed that by the time they finished the next thirteen hours of watching the show, he would have an absolute understanding of the term and how to apply it to other situations in life. 

Grogu, of course, was having a wonderful time. He loved that show about fish fishing more than any other form of entertainment the Mandalorian had shared with him. No matter where they were or what they were doing, if Grogu needed to be occupied, or quiet, or just entertained, then Djarin would put on an episode of Diggle and Daggle and do whatever it was that he needed to do. The show was useful to him and he appreciated that.

Now that he had to watch it too… well, he wasn’t a fan of catching or eating fish, so that didn’t help. He did appreciate the planetary information they provided for each episode and, when relevant, the data and information on the local culture and customs… as they applied to fishing and the fish the episode was center on. He did like that the two host fish, Diggle and Daggle, were polite, thoughtful, and family friendly.

The only episode that had caused him anything like heartburn was the one about spawning and that was just because Grogu watched him like a shriek hawk and took notes about his behaviors, until Djarin made it plain that humans do not spawn like fish. Grogu had insisted on more information and when the Mandalorian gave Grogu ‘The Talk’, his son put down the clipboard and turned on an episode of Diggle and Daggle that had nothing to do about the life cycle of fish.

Now, he was just making them some snacks to eat before they began watching a three part series the fish had done on ‘Terrors of the Deep’. Grogu had been very excited about that series and that was why they were even doing the all day marathon. 

“Buddy, why are you so interested in ‘The Terrors of the Deep’? You’ve seen lots of big, scary critters.”

The question had to be asked, but as soon as he said it out loud, Din Djarin should have expected Grogu’s reply. Ian liked them. It was always about Ian, Grogu’s friend from the Jedi Temple. The kid that was always getting Grogu into trouble and whom Grogu was always helping get out of trouble. A too brave, too sassy, too smart for his own good character that sometimes seemed to be just who Grogu needed, but who also seemed like a terrible influence. Djarin envied that kid his place in Grogu’s heart and thought processes as much as he was annoyed by his omni-presence in Grogu’s rationale for anything that the Mandalorian questioned about his behavior.

“Why don’t you wear shoes?”

“Ian said…”

“Why don’t you eat veggies?”

“Ian said…”

“Why don’t you wash behind your ears?”

“Ian said…”

Now it was ‘Why are you fascinated by terrors of the deep’ … ‘Ian said’.

“Buddy, whatever happened to Ian? You said once that he left the Jedi Temple before it was attacked. Was that the last time you saw him?”

Grogu nodded his head. 

“Did the Imps get him?”

Grogu shrugged.

“You don’t know what happened?”

Grogu shook his head. But now his eyes were filled with tears. Dank Farrik! Djarin should have realized his questions were thoughtless. This was an old loss, certainly, but that didn’t mean that Grogu didn’t still feel it. They were best friends and then it was over because someone else decided they had to be the biggest jerk in the Galaxy. It was awful.

“Is that why you like watching Diggle and Daggle? Is that something you and Ian did together a lot ?”

Grogu sighed and shook his head. 

“Did he just like big, scary critters?” Djarin asked in disbelief.

Grogu smiled and laughed as he nodded his head. Then he explained that every time he and Djarin met or found a big scary critter, Grogu was hopeful that Ian would be somewhere nearby. Ian had always liked those critters because he said there was no point in being afraid of something just because it was different from you. If that had been the case, Grogu and Ian would have been afraid of each other and they never would have had so much fun together or become such good friends. 

The Mandalorian smiled at that and tapped his son’s head carefully with his own. A Keldabe kiss. Not just to show affection but to demonstrate care and consideration. Of course that was because if you bonked someone with your beskar helmet you could knock them silly. Since his helmet was currently filled with flash frozen froglets for Grogu to enjoy during the next part of the marathon, it was purely symbolic. Like honoring a friend by enjoying the things they enjoyed.

This is the Way.